#and don't even get me started on him and Kuni or Ranpo or--

[bnesszai]

i am having many thoughts on how Dazai's humanity has shifted from his pm days to now, at the ada, and how this has effected his relationships with various people in different ways and i--

[glitch-karma]

Hi! im a rlly big fan of ur works and was just wondering if i could req a scenario w forgetful! reader? :D characters are: dazai, kunikida, akutagawa, and poe reader recieves a gift from them and accidentally missplaces it which stresses out reader and they tell it to them and they decide to buy a new one :D (also "they" is referred to the chars i mentioned) sorry if this is too much! dont forget to rest, drink water and stay hydrated! hope ur having a great rest of your day/night/afternoon :)

AHHHHHAA This speaks to me as a forgetful person so I will happily do this 💟💟

Dazai

Dazai always teases you about not turning work in on time, which annoys you a lot

Has a tally chart of every time you've forgotten something

He really gets on your nerves sometimes, but you try to joke around as much as you can

For your anniversary, he got you a beautiful pendant that matched his own

It was gleaming with a silver lining, a black ribbon to attach it, and your favorite stone in the center

You loved it so much and wore it every day

But, one day you were getting ready for work, and the pendant wasn't on your dresser

You had a little bit of a breakdown and tore your house apart looking for it

You gave up and sat in despair

Kunikida called a million times considering you're almost never late for work

when you heard a knock on the door, you assumed it was Kunikida until you got up close to it

"Oh Y/nnnn~ You're never late wassuppppp"

Oh

Shit.

You ran and hid back in the living room

"I'M DEADLY SICK GO AWAY DAZAI!" "wait wahhhh?"

As you hid under a mountain of blankets, waiting for him to hopefully leave, you heard your front door swing open

"You forgot I had a key to your place Belladonnaaaa!"

Suddenly the blanket was ripped off you and you were exposed

You looked up at Dazai as he blinked at you, waiting for you to speak

Tears immediately formed in your eyes as you stared at him in embarrassment

He got even more confused when you started profusely apologizeing

"I LOST THE PENDANT YOU GAVE ME, I'M SO SO SORRY OSAMU! I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY!"

You expected Dazai to tease you, or be upset, but instead he laughed

When you looked up, he was smiling down at you

"I figured this would happen."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact same pendant from before

You looked up in amazement as he handed it to you

"I even took the liberty of getting a second one made, hehe."

You guys skipped work together after, and went on a cute little cafe date

Kunikida

He sometimes gets a little aggravated with your forgetfulness sometimes, but he tries to be as understanding as possible

He tries to help you remember stuff in a logical way, like helping you take notes or texting you things you need to remember

He does snap a few times, but does apologize immediately after each time

Kunikida got you a custom-made notebook to keep notes in, it was a darker shade of your favorite color, had lightly tea-stained pages, and had "Never fall" Written on the front

You would take notes in it and it honestly really helped your memory

You got to work early one morning to finish some work, you went to write something down and... Your notebook wasn't there

You freaked out, it was just you in the office, but in only a mere twenty minutes Kida would be there to start the day

You basically tore apart your desk looking for it (neatly putting it back together afterward)

You went through your office locker and your work bag. Even checking Dazai and Ranpo's desks to see if either of them had hidden it from you

In the middle of researching through your own bag, Kunikida came in for work

He noticed you over at Ranpo's desk and was a bit confused

"What are you doing in Ranpo's desk?"

His voice caught you off guard, making you slam your head into the metal desk

You laid on the ground in defeat as Kunikida came over to check if you were okay

"Please don't be mad..."

You explained what happened and how you really didn't mean to lose it

Kuni sighed as he picked you up off the floor

"I'm not mad, maybe a little irritated, but definitely not mad."

You went to the cafe while he looked for it, luckily Kunikida's ideals for the day included 10 minutes of free time for you

When you came up with Kunikida's coffee, the notebook was sitting on his desk with his own, he'd managed to find it

Akutagawa

He doesn't really care how forgetful you are unless it interrupts him

He does get irritated when you forget missions or to turn in paperwork, he has snapped a little more than Kunikida

He got you a beautiful feather pen for your birthday, it was the first really meaningful gift he ever got you

You wrote with it in journals and such to try to help you memorize certain things

But one evening, you forgot where you had put it.

You freaked out, worrying Akutagawa would be upset you lost such an expansive gift

You looked for almost an hour and a half before you realized it was gone.

At that time, Akutagawa came by your apartment to see what was taking you so long

When he opened the door he was met with you lying on the floor in defeat

"What's the problem here?"

You looked up at him as he was walking over, and just hid behind your hands

"..I lost your present."

Akutagawa stared down at you for a minute, whether trying to calm his anger; Or thinking about what to say you don't know.

He sighed as he started searching himself

"Although it was wildly expensive, I'm not mad. Let's just keep looking."

You stood up confused as he kept flipping over things

You walked up and hugged him from behind

"Thank you..." "Mhm, not a problem."

You both kept looking, but in reality, it wasn't even in your apartment. It was in your desk drawer at the office

Poe

Poe is very patient with you, he's also a slightly forgetful person so he understands that you're really trying

Poe tries to write you little notes and hide them throughout your desk to help remember importance things

He also checks frequently on you to see if you're doing what you're supposed to be

Poe wrote you a book of poems about yourself, it was a full book to the very last page

It was very indearing, and you read it to help you fall asleep

You had always kept it in your work bag, but when you when you went to take it out one day it was missing

You freaked out, starting to look through the whole office

You'd remembered putting it in your bag this morning so it has to be there somewhere

After about 30 minutes of intense searching, Poe came in to check up on you

"What are you doing my dear Y/n?"

You just couldn't lie to him, you sighed as he walked over

"Poe.. I'm really sorry. I lost the book you wrote for me. I know the cover was expensive, plus all your work is gone.. please forgive me."

Poe smiled as he grabbed your face into his hands

"My dear I have every one of those poems memorized by heat. And don't worry about expenses, it was only a meer 65,000 Yen. I'll forget that in seconds."

You chuckled as he hugged you tightly

Karl ended up having the book, and Poe read it to the both of you that night

[kunikidanelson]

Alright there was surprisingly a lot of people who wanted to hear my interpretation of kunikidas backstory. So uhm here i go, i just hope i dont disappoint y'all. (Its long as fuck i know, and its not even all LMFAO)

i think he wasnt an orphan because im fucking sick of every single character in bsd being a fucking orphan. What i do think though is that he didn't have the best family life, an overly "protective" (controlling) mother and either an absent or inactive father. (as in, the dad didn't really care what happened at home he just sort of did whatever his wife wanted him to do) but basically this is where Kunikidas hatred for authority starts because all his mother does is pull the "im your mother and you have to listen to me" card. I think his ability before being affected by the "all men are equal" would definitely act up therefore he couldn't go to a proper school because he didn't want to accidentally summon a lion or something like that. So he was basically a nuisance to his mother because she had to homeschool him. Once he was older he decided to go to a math based high school for two reasons: he cant summon numbers; he could live in the school dorms. He basically runs away from home once he's capable and takes on a lot of part time jobs (katai offers him money but kunikida refuses) and basically lives like this until college. Being a good student grade wise he made a deal that if he does tutoring for the other students, they'll let him rent the dorm for free. But at one point he fails an important exam, and though he doesn't get expelled from the college they retract their statement about letting him tutor unless he proves he's knowledgeable in the subject. But that ruins his housing situation and lives on the street for a few days, realising that its less than ideal to sleep on a park bench he goes to katai out of desperation and lives with him for some time while he tries to find a job. And you might see where I'm going with this. But i dont think kunikida would apply to be a detective at first. I believe he would see some poster about the agency needing a secretary, especially someone who could handle computers and decides to try to get a job there. When he goes to the interview he almost starts crying because he's so desperate for money and his own place to live in. Fukuzawa takes pity on him and lets him take hold of the files. Kunikida gets his own apartment (yay) retakes his exam and gets back to tutoring. At one point the agency say they need some sort of signature (or something, i dont have to think of a specific example do i??) on regular paper and kunikida admits that though he knows how to write, his handwriting isn't very good because of his ability he didn't have much of a chance to perfect it. Yosano and Fukuzawa, of course shocked that kunikida has an ability in the first place meanwhile Ranpo just shrugs because he knew all along, just didn't care to mention it. Then fukuzawa asks Kuni if he doesn't want to join the agency as a detective and that any training he might need, will be provided. (Partly offering this to him because the agency in the early days had literally 4 members including the president and secretary Kunikida and they all built a sort of trust between each other) so kunikida accepts and eventually drops out of college because he quite literally doesn't need it anymore, he knows what he wants to do now. And also after all men are equal takes place kunikida starts writing traditionally all the time, simply because he was so deprived of it before, thus building his habit of keeping his notebook with him 24/7.

I hope this made a bit of sense, if you imagined it differently, im not taking that away from you this is just my interpretation xx

Also don't ask me how katai and kunikida met i dont know nor care, i mean they've been friends for around 10 years, so they met when they were 12? They honestly could have just met one day on complete random, I'm not looking too deep into that

[play-rough]

“Strawb anon your ideas always make my heart melt” 🫂

I have a question about your au- in some littleverses, caregivers are given their own biological needs and sometimes even headspaces too. I imagine that your au doesn’t have cg headspaces from what I’ve seen (but granted we’ve seen very little, given that Chuuya’s not a cg and we’ve only had one chapter with Kunikida) but do they have driving biological needs to take care of littles in the same way littles need to be taken care of? Does Kunikida feel pent up and stressed when he hasn’t taken care of someone properly in a while? (The image of him scooping up Dazai after work and carrying him into his car like “shut up, it’s babytime, idc if you’re little or not” and Dazai’s like “?” Makes me laugh).

Oh! And a follow up question- do cg's have certain age ranges they’re more attuned to looking after? Maybe Fukuzawa’s better at taking care of littles Ranpo’s age and Kunikida’s just naturally better with babies (or yk- the inverse of that. I really like it when omegaverse and littleverse fics go the non traditional route and have characters that don't ‘biologically’ fit together, work well regardless. But then again, I think it’s sweet if, after the initial panic of finding out Dazai’s a babe, Kunikida’s mind’s at “oh my god a baby 🥰🥰🥰🥹🥹🍼🍼☺️☺️“ While Dazai’s freaking out that they’ll cast him away)

No hc this time only curiosity ♥️

-🍓

Caregivers do have their own needs! Someone’s classification is meant to be fulfilling and stress relieving. A caregiver will be compelled to provide support and nurture for something, whether that’s a little or a child or a pet. Maybe sometimes even a room full of plants. I think it’s easier for caregivers to feel like they’ve had their needs met than Littles, but at the same time there’s probably nothing that compares to taking care of a little.

Kunikida definitely gets stressed and starts to overthink everything until he spirals, but taking care a baby is the perfect stress relief. Your headspace is how you relax the best, and it’s all almost instinctual. He doesn’t have to overthink anything or worry about upcoming steps or work, he just has to rock a baby back and forth 🥹 i do think Kuni would have days where he had a lot on his plate and was very busy all day and just feels pent up, and he drags Dazai home and babies him 😭

Every caregiver is capable of taking care of every little, but I do think they have preferences! I bet Kunikida loves babies because they thrive on routine and schedule, and Kuni is great at providing that 😍 kunikida probably wouldn’t feel as fulfilled taking care of someone older who is more independent, he likes feel like all his over-preparedness benefits (which it does)

[just-a-shark333]

I have so many kunikatai headcanons so I thought I'd share them!

-they met in middle school

-started dating first year of high-school

-got married(illegally, kunikidas idea) in the autumn following graduation

-it was a very small wedding, consisting of the two of their parents, and a few friends from school

-it was in katais favorite Cafe, a very small place that not many people know about

-they don't live together for safety reasons

-only yosano, ranpo, and fukuzawa know

-kunikida doesn't often wear his wedding ring in fear if it getting damaged

-sometimes katai will force him to play various video games with him

-kunikida really likes stardew valley and similar games

-kunikida let's katai braid his hair sometimes

-katai sucked at first but he's surprisingly good now

-T4t kunitai

-kunikida had a 'rebellious phase' type thing in high school

-and a short emo phase in middle school

-his teachers liked him for being a smart student but hated how often he got in trouble

-he would beat up anyone who made fun of katai

-katai would always tell him not to bother doing that but would absolutely do the same if anyone made fun of kuni

-kunikida helps katai cut his hair

-katai visits the agency one day and ends up telling everyone about kunikidas high school years

-everyone is absolutely shocked (minus ranpo ofc)

-kuni frequently gets kicked out of libraries for arguing with the librarians over how the books are arranged

-They meet at the school nurses office!!-katai had a very bad panic attack and kuni got into a pretty bad fight

-school nurses kinda suck tbh so kuni helps katai with his panic attack

-they become good friends after that

-or they could meet in a school counselors office for the same reasons

-they'd probably bond the same way too bc school counselors suck more than school nurses(Like seriously though, once my old school counselor told me that I was being selfish/a selfish person for being suicidal)

-kunikida is totally the type of guy to just throw random compliments into any sentence he can

-katai let's kunikida sit under his futon with him

-pillow forts!!!!!!

-autistic kunikida

-katai does his best to help

-like, talking for him as best he can when kuni goes nonverbal

-and offering him looser clothes when his feel bad

-MOVIE DATES!!!!

-And arcade dates!!

-Kunikida frequently has to drag Katai away from those because he keeps destroying little kids in games

-Dazai and Chuuya were on an arcade date of their own and ran into them once

-it turned into a double date where Katai tried to beat Dazai at every game possible and the other two just watched and cheered a lil

-katai hates pda

-kunikida also doesn't like it much, he thinks it's weird and unprofessional

-they cuddle a lot at home tho

-they both confessed at the same time

-kunikida said that he had something very important to tell katai

-katai said that before that he had something to give kunikida and hands him a letter

-kuni reads the love letter and is just like.."i...I was going to say the same thing.." and looks away blushing

-kunikida proposed

-he took katai out to a very small Cafe that hardly anyone knew about

-they ordered food and talked a bit and once katai got comfortable being there he proposed

-katai obviously said yes

-they got married (illegally) a few months later

-Katai said that he loved kuni first

-kunikida would have said it but he got too nervous about making katai uncomfortable

-katai didn't mean to say it but it accidentally slipped out

-Katai has social anxiety

-Kunikida helps as best he can, bringing Katai things so he doesn't have to go out and talk to people as much

-He still forces katai outside

-They go on walks every evening or so

-Kunikida does most of the cooking

-Katais not bad at cooking, but he just doesn't

-They lay in bed and listen to music together

-When kunikida was a teacher Katai would stop by and bring him lunch after his missions sometimes

-Kunikida taught advanced middle schoolers algebra and paet timed at the agency after

-his students were shocked when they found out

-Kunikida got arrested for protesting and breaking off those spikes cities put up to prevent homeless people from sleeping a lot

-Katai bailed him out every time

-Kuni became pretty decent friends with a couple of other people who frequently got arrested for similar things and some of the cops who repeatedly arrested him

I probably have more but that's all I can think of right now!

[hell-of-peccability]

pulling aus out of my ass #1:

> kuni(kida/haru) !!

okay. so. hear me out.

them. as the same person. for an au.

(for clarity's sake, I'm referring to all of the Saiki family by their first names. if you arent aware of them; Kusuo = Saiki K , Kusuke = Saiki's Brother , Kuniharu = Saiki's dad , Kurumi = Saiki's mom. I had to look up his parents names for this so I don't blame anyone.)

MY REASONING:

almost the same haircut??? definitely the same bangs. kunikida's hair would probably poof out the way kuniharu's does if he snipped off the rattail.

people's hair typically gets darker as they age (blond to brown)

people's facial structure typically rounds out a bit as they age as well

both wear rather similar glasses -- kunikida switching up his pair at some point would logically make sense.

kunikida to kuniharu. even if kunikida's first name is doppo, if this was some sort of "lets change my identity to blend in with normal society" he may keep "kuni" as a tribute to kunikida. (especially since 'kunikida' is the penname part of what the actual author went by, among other pennames)

it would make (some) sense for kusuo's dad to have some form of ability, as would result in his psychic-ness.

taste in women;

kurumi definitely looks similar to sasaki (which can be interpreted as probably kunikida's ideal woman), kuni(kida/haru) would probably find kurumi attractive, "Kurumi is a kind and gentle mother [...] She is also very trusting of and never doubts other people. However, when driven pushed her limits, Kurumi becomes scary and hunts down anyone who threaten her family. She loves her family a great deal." (saiki k wiki) this description of someone WOULD probably be close to his ideal, as kurumi is pretty much the ideal mom in herself. I believe she's close enough to where kunikida (if he's actually into women & not secretly gay) would settle for, if not seek her out.

THE BLATANT PROBLEM:

Aside from, yk, this not being the same fandom, the biggest issue comes with Saiki Kuniharu's personality.

"Kuniharu is unreliable, reckless and slovenly, often begging with disgusting teary faces towards his son. He is a doormat who is always nice and respectful to people no matter how rude or scornful they are to him, such as his boss, who orders him to lick his shoes, and his father-in-law, who harbors a strong hatred towards him. On occasion, he can be self-serving." (saiki k wiki)

I think the best reason that can be given here, is it's dazai's fault. Dazai manages to successfully drive kunikida so insane that he flees not only the agency, but yokohama, going to hidari wakibara to escape.

Kuniharu could be Kunikida after his ideals are (mostly) shattered, and his personality snaps. He suddenly conforms to authority, loses his schedule, begs in the same way dazai always harassed him with, either as a mask to hide under, or because he was driven to become that.

or, in other words, Kunikida lost his shit (*cough* possibly due to the current & former manga arcs *cough*) and ran off to start a new life, without his notebook, his schedule, and the ideals he lived his life by.

OTHER AU DETAILS:

If Kunikida's ability relies on his notebook, it would be pretty easy for him to shove that thing in a drawer and pretend to be normal. Maybe it so far as kuni's mind was wiped, which would account for Kusuo never reading that in his mind. It's just gone.

Kusuo wouldn't necessarily be aware of ability users if they weren't in his mind-reading vicinity, as he doesn't seek out psychics but he is aware of what they are when he gets close to them. He may not be aware of Yokohama due to this. (if any of this is wrong, shut up.)

Kusuke (given his mega high iq) is probably known by some of the BSD cast (for instance, Ranpo or Dazai) and dislikes them for being like his shitty brother.

Kuni HAS to have at least once accidentally used his powers and thought Kusuo was fucking with him. Or better yet, has had that happen enough to where he's afraid of writing because Kusuo will fuck with him. Maybe he even makes Kusuo write things for him whilst eying him suspiciously. Kusuo has likely chalked all of those thoughts up to Kuni being an idiot, and hasn't thought any more of it.

TLDR:

kunikida is kuniharu because this is MY corner of the internet and I SAID SO.

fuck you im claiming this is my new au that i cradle close to my heart. we are ignoring all the basic reasons why this is impossible kunikida just shrunk to 5'9", and changed his birthday and blood type to spite YOU.

i,,,, may need to write something off this.

[kunikiiida-kuuun]

Hey, Kris!! Yes, I did notice that Ango is one of your faves, you're one of the few people I see talking about him! He is very underrated, indeed. I'm pretty excited for his part this season, too! His dynamic with Dazai is actually really interesting, how they're both dealing with their guilt over Odasaku's death and how that drives them.

I loved the first episode of S4! I'm so glad they decided to do untold origins! I love Fukuzawa and Ranpo so much and I think they're condensing the story pretty well so far. I really like the monochrome color aesthetic they went with, too. And those crumbs of baby assassin Odasaku! I don't think any of us are ready for the DOA arc to start, my Lord do anime-onlys have a storm coming sdfghjgfhj. Kuni's big moment is going to be very exciting, though! It's such a good hero moment, his absolute commitment to his ideals.

Also, sorry I missed your birthday again, I confused myself because I was late getting the post out last year dfghjhghj. I hope you've been well! And that you have time to watch S4 soon! *hug*

Hey Katie!! ❤️ Apologies for the late response >.< I was occupied with a lot of things but I'm a little more free now!!

Thank you once again for the Ango set you dedicated to me!! :D💕 I don't talk enough about him but Ango is definitely another interesting and very nuanced character in BSD!! I know Oda and Dazai have a special bond, but I like to believe that Dazai somewhere deep inside still cares about Ango, and is deeply hurt by the way things turned out. We'll even get to see Ango's unresolved guilt in this arc oof :') And their dynamic is certainly interesting and funny at the same time. Ango's trust in Dazai, even going to the lengths of lying because he asked him to...I wish we could see more of their interactions lmao. I want to see them open up to each other too but they're both a little emotionally constipated for that I guess ajsklfslfk.

I also really love the quote you used on the gif set you made!! Even if it was just for a moment, and even if the entire idea was impossible to begin with, Ango seemed to indulge in his feelings and forget about the reality for a second and the underlying hopelessness of it all... :')

I'm happy they went with the untold origins too!! It fits the narrative for the next arc and the episode looks great!! Fukuzawa and Ranpo have such a hilarious dynamic throughout the novel and of course baby assassin Odasaku crumbs are much appreciated 🫶

Omg you're so right?? It's truly impossible to be entirely prepared for the upcoming chaos the arc will bring (good luck to the anime-onlys LOL) :') I'm dreading and yet so excited to see Kunikida's heroic moment I don't know what to do with myself hnnnnhh🥲

Do you have any particular moments you're looking forward to? (Apart from the Fyodor vs Dazai chess board match reveal of course XD)

No worries Katie!! ^^💕 I very much appreciate that you decided to post something for me so thank you for the beautiful set 💖💖💖 I hope to see both the episodes in the next few days so I can go crazy in the tags discuss more freely about the episodes heheh! Warm hugs!!! ❤️

[ssamie]

twelve. “the moon looks beautiful tonight, doesn’t it?”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide

masterlist.         suicide freak!

"kenma just this once please!!" y/n pleaded with a frown

"literally why?" kenma grumbled back.

they were currently seated by the stairway of the second-year building, five minutes away from being late to their next class, which was history. "because it's fun!" she reasoned "besides, you don't even listen to the lesson, you just play games under your desk" 

"yeah, but it's not considered skipping classes" kenma sighed 

"c'mon kenma, live a little!" she chuckled "then you can die with me afterwards." 

kenma sighed but nodded in reluctance "fine, but please don't kill me" he said with a sigh

"huh? then how are we supposed to die?"

"the point is we're not going to."

after a little bit more convincing, and a very troublesome escape from the school grounds, they were finally on their way off. the pair was walking towards the same riverbank kenma found her on after disappearing

"ah, isn't this nice, kenma-kun?" she said with a content sigh. she was holding a box of apple pie, while kenma chomps on a slice. "the air is nice, the apple pie is nice, the bridge is kinda nice" she hummed

"did you know, this is where i found atsushi-kun on the brink of death from starvation!" she exclaimed with a bright smile 

"i- what?" 

"yes, that's right" she said "ah, good times~" 

"i don't think you should consider that a good time" kenma sweat dropped "also, what's with you lately?" kenma asks her 

"hm? what do you mean?" she responded with a raised brow "you've been kinda.. tamed?" he muttered as more of a question than a statement "like, usually your attempts would be more bizarre." he said with a shrug 

kenma then reached out to grab another slice of the apple pie. that is, until his whole body shuddered. he looked up at her, looking like a shaken up kitten as he immediately shook his head. 

"i don't mean that i want you to start going all crazy again!" he shrieked 

she simply laughed, shaking her head as she sat down on the ground "well then i guess you're fulfilling your promise of keeping me alive, huh?" she mused 

kenma blinked at her words and meekly nodded, a faint smile ghosting his lips "i guess.." he replied "anyways, what are we doing here?" he asks as he takes a seat next to her

"were here to slack off" she responded with a nonchalant grin "work is like, really stressful" she said with an exaggerated sigh 

kenma simply furrowed his brows as he sent her a questioning look "but atsushi said you haven't done anything in like a week-" 

"anyways, kenma." she cut him off "in return of making you skip class, i'll share some of my incredibly utile knowledge to you!" she announced cockily 

"i don't think i need it.. nor do i want it" kenma deadpanned 

"well, i'm gonna tell you anyways" 

"but first, let me beat this level" she said with a cheeky grin as she snatches his PSP from his pocket. as she began to play, kenma simply watched her fingers click the buttons, silently watching as he nibbled on the apple pie 

"now, as i was saying.." she muttered "my knowledge consists of the mafia and their history.." 

"that's kind of relevant right?" she beamed with a small smile 

"no, not really." 

"alright! well, the mafia is kind of fun" she started out 

"im gonna have to disagree." kenma sighed "it's the mafia, why would it be fun?" 

"also, why are we talking about this anyway?" he rolled his eyes playfully at her 

"because its literally all i know about" she chuckled "unless you wanna hear about how to dispose of dead bodies." 

"no." 

"okay. well, in this same spot we're sitting on, there have been at least.. like, maybe one or ten murders?" she cooed out with a small smile. kenma looked at her, face scrunching up as he picked himself up from the ground, holding his apple pie tightly as he walked away 

"goodbye." 

she laughed loudly as she watched him walk away, eyes darting from between the boy and the PSP in her hands "wait! kenma, im kidding!" she yelled out 

"well, im actually not, but.. COME BACK!" 

kenma sighed, looking back only to find her shuffling around with the device in her hands as she screams about losing. 

"kenma you made me lose!" she groaned out. the pudding head simply sighed as he trudged back to her with an unamused look on his face 

"well, whatever" she shrugged it off. she placed the PSP back in his pocket as she jumped up from the ground "you know what we should do?" she mused "we should steal a car and have a road trip!" 

"no! are you crazy?" kenma let out an exasperated sigh 

"i dunno about crazy, but i do know that kunikida-kun has a car and.." she trailed of with a suggesting smirk 

(he prolly doesn't have a car i think, but go along w it 😋) 

"were not gonna steal a car just to go on a road trip." kenma said to her 

"really? i don't think that's the right response, kenma" she slumped out defeatedly 

"we are NOT gonna steal a fucking car-" 

"YOU STOLE THE FUCKING CAR?!" kenma rubbed his temples in distress as she stood proudly before him, holding the car keys with a grin 

"yep!" 

it has been fifteen minutes since she's disappeared, only to come back to announce that she had carnapped kunikida 

"y/n, im pretty sure this is illegal." kenma sighed tiredly "do you even know how to drive?" he asked 

"of course!" she said with an offended scoff "well..last time i drived, it ended in a crash" she mumbled sheepishly "but that's not gonna happen, i promise!" 

kenma looked at her up and down, before shaking his head. "that doesn't sound very promising.." 

"cmon, live a little!" she exclaimed as she unlocked the car doors 

"i won't be able to if i die in a car crash, you understand that right?" 

"that's even better!" 

although despite his disputes, kenma ended up joining her anyways. now, he's seated in the passenger seat while y/n drives the car. music was softly playing through the speakers, though it was getting drowned out by kunikida's yelling, which was emitting through her phone

"oi! you bandage-covered brat, where the hell is my car?!" kunikida exclaimed 

"stop with the names, kunikida-kun!" she whined out "and how dare you accuse me of such!" she exclaimed with a dramatic cry 

kenma simply deadpanned at her as kunikida let out a deep breath from the other line 

"i have very right to accuse you becauSE RANPO TOLD ME IN EXCHANGE OF A CHOCOLATE BAR!" 

"AGH! BUT I MADE HIM PINKY PROMISE NOT TO SAY IN EXCHANGE OF A CHOCOLATE BAR TOO!" 

she fake cried as kunikida continued on scolding her through the phone "now, now, kunikida-kun~" she cooed out "dont go screaming a lot, or else your vocal system gets messed up" she warned "they say you can cough your throat out." 

"you- wait really?" kunikida asked in wonder

"i dunno" she responded nonchalantly 

"STOP RIDICULING ME, BASTARD!" he exclaimed 

"whatever.. there better not be any scratches or dents or i'll kill you myself" it was all he said before hanging up

she pocketed her phone and looked over at kenma, sending him a smile "that went well, won't you say so?" 

"50/50" kenma responded "anyways, where are we going?" he asked her 

"i don't know kenma, i've never done this before" she laughed softly "let's just drive around and stop for food once in a while" she said "let's just talk! preferably about our double suicide" 

kenma laughed at her antics and nodded "okay, i'd like that." 

in the end, they ended up roaming around the city. at some point they stopped by a wine shop to buy all of chuuya's favourite wine just to mess with him

chuuya did in fact come into the shop minutes later and had a fit. 

by the time the sky got darker, kenma suggested going to a mcdonald's for some fries. but sadly, it ended with y/n flirting with the female cashiers, so he had to drag her away. they even stopped by a cliff to 'stargaze' but it ended with y/n trying to make them fall to their deaths, so that ended quite quickly. 

now, they were back in the usual restaurant the agency goes to, having a light dinner. 

"so, kenma-kun, how was our road trip?" she cooed out 

"it was chaotic." he responded "but it was very fun, thanks for that y/n" he said with a smile 

she smiled cockily as she sipped on her coffee, letting out a small chuckle as she does so. "heh, let's just hope kunikida-kun won't notice the scratches on his car" 

kenma shifted nervously in his seat as he noticed kunikida leaning on the back of her seat, as well as atsushi listening in on their conversation. 

"um y/n.." he said nervously, slyly pointing behind her, though she seemed to ignore him anyways 

she snickered under her breath as she continued to talk. "there's so many scratches on the side! and-" she was cut off by kunikida's fist making contact with the side of her head, resulting in her falling off the seat

"y/n-san?!" atsushi called out with widened eyes 

"what did you say, brat?" kunikida asked in a low tone as his tall figure loomed over her 

"a-ah! what did i say?" she mused "i don't think i said anything, kunikida-kun! you must be hearing things!" she laughed sheepishly as she stood up straight once again "and why are you interrupting our dinner, hm?" she asked him 

"shouldn't you be at work? tsk tsk tsk" she clisked her tounge as she shook her head disappointedly 

kenma and atsushi froze in fear as kunikida seemed to have grew angrier by the second. veins popped out of his temple from agitation as he started strangling her, all while she still had that dumb and taunting smile on her face 

"and who gave you, the poster child for sloth and irresponsibility, the right to say that to me?!" he yelled 

"kunikida-san! don't kill her!" atsushi yelled out in panic "why not?! that's exactly what she wants!" kunikida exclaimed 

"ehehehe- AGH!" she coughed out, wheezing slightly as he shook her around 

after a quick minute of calming down, y/n was now back in her seat, facing kenma who was talking about a game he was currently playing "and this one is um- um.." kenma cut himself off, feeling himself grow anxious 

his cat-like eyes look up to meet kunikida looking at him like a disappointed father "is something wrong?" he asked quietly 

"i had trust in you, brat." kunikida said "i thought you were sensible enough to keep the maniac grounded." 

"buT INSTEAD YOU BOTH HAD YOUR FUN CRASHING MY CAR AROUND-" 

kunikida was cut short as y/n slammed her hand on his face and pushed him away with an innocent smile "now, now, kunikida-kun~" she cooed "kenma was talking about his new game, don't interrupt him!" she scolded him 

"i don't care, you're paying me back" he said as he sent her a pointed glare. she simply laughed carelessly at that statement. though her laughter abruptly died down as she spun around to face atsushi. 

"atsushi." she called out 

"y-yeah?" atsushi replied hesitantly 

"as your senior, i command you to pay the cost!" she exclaimed 

"no! also, im older than you!" atsushi yelled at her 

"oya~" she cooed tauntingly at him "but aren't i the one that saved your dying self months ago?!" 

"and to think i believed we had a special bond" she sulked 

"but y/n-san!!" atsushi panicked "I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!!" 

"work it out~" she cooed as she ushered kenma out of the restaurant "we'll be going now~" 

"are you really making me pay?!" atsushi shrieked 

"bye-bye~" 

"so what do you wanna do to end the night?" she asked him 

they were currently walking around, basking in the moonlight while kenma talks himself up in his mind  "um.. can we go back to the riverbank? like, by the bridge..?" he muttered quietly 

"why? its already so late" she said 

"just- can we just go?" he pleaded "... please?" 

she looked at him and smiled, nodding along silently to his request. the walk to the bridge was quick and quiet. no one was speaking a word, only y/n humming under her breath and the sounds of cars passing by

the whole time, kenma was just screaming in his mind. 

he was pondering over kuroo's oh-so-wise words. the suggestion to confess to her sounded more simpler at the moment. he's been preparing for it the whole day. but now that it was actually happening, he was honestly just considering jumping into oncoming traffic

"were here." she announced 

kenma jolted, sporting a confused expression as he looked around their surroundings 

"it seems you've been so lost in thought that you couldn't even tell we've arrived" she chuckled "so, what's on your mind, kenma?" 

he didn't answer but simply watched her from his peripheral vision. she leaned on the metal railings, resting her hands on the bars as she looked down at the flowing water 

the only light source they had was the moon, and the street lights littered around the bridge 

"um.. it's just that-" he cut himself off with a deep breath 

"that..?" she urged him further 

"i- um-" he stammered nervously 

kenma inhaled deeply through his nose before sighing. "i can't do this." he muttered 

"what is it?" she asked worriedly "are you okay??" 

"is it cause you wanna die with me? are you agreeing to the double-" 

"t-thE MOON LOOKS BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT DOESN'T IT?!" 

"i- why are you screaming?" 

"fuck it. i like you, okay?" 

[play-rough]

Here's the third one because this idea has been haunting me for a while:

Aku and Chuuya take Atsushi and Dazai for a playdate, probably at one of their houses. I just think it would be so cute Chuuya seeing Aku taking care of Atsushi and vice-versa. If Atsushi gets a plushie (probably a tiger because Aku probs think that's hilarious and clever (it's not lol)), than they can play house with Fishie and the tiger! Aku and Chuuya would probably end up being roped into playing by Dazai's baby eyes and Atsushi's brute force of will that comes with being a kid that walks up to six years old lol

Also, I get really soft thinking about Aku being called for an emergency job and Chuuya being left to take care of the both of them for a couple hours (not a long job, just maybe 3-4 hours?). I wonder how Dazai would react, cause it's Atsushi, he knows him, likes him, is close to him and knows Chuuya isn't his caretaker, so I don't think there'd be jealousy.

And, well, Atsushi is the guy that went "getting a good sakura seeing spot will get me a good grade at the agency", so I think he'd realize there were two of them for one Chuuya-san and that Ranpo wasn't around, making him the oldest kid. So he'd start to prove that he's a big boy and try to help Chuuya in the way kids usually do when they're trying to prove to younger kids how grown they are.

That is, until Dazai cries for a small thing and then Atsushi tries to holding it in (because he's supposed to be a big boy like Ranpo!) but follows because that's how he's built (cries when someone cries). But then Aku comes back and everything is fine or smth.

I dunno, this scenario just looked really cute in my head... just, something about Atsushi and Dazai playing together, maybe even trying to rope Chuuya into playing with them and letting Atsushi tie his hair or something

-🍨

An skk and sskk play date and park picnic would be everything 🥺😭 and Dazai feeling jelly over having to share Chuuya 😭 he’s used to having to share Kuni, but never Chuuya 🫠

I absolutely agree Atsushi likes providing that he’s big and helpful and Dazai is probably jealous that Chuuya likes Sushi so much better because he helps and isn’t needy 😭 would definitely end with both of them teary and what a perfect time for Aku to come back, and then Atsushi is so happy to see him he forgets about being upset, and Dazai is happy to have Chuuya’s attention back to himself 🥺