#and dont get me wrong there have been GREAT moments so far

[luvleyjuno]

Can’t stop thinking about her

Modern au you and Abby had just began a new relationship you’re in this honeymoon phase everything is new and exciting, everything is perfect well almost everything.

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Go read part 1 and part 2!!

Sorry I took so long to come out with part 3 I was being lazy..

Warnings: NSFW, use of y/n, jealousy, drinking, arguing, making out, oral(r receiving), pet names, fingering(r receiving),hair pulling?

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(If I missed anything let me know!! This is my first time writing smut please don’t judge me lmao 😭)

It had been a couple weeks since your date with Abby. You both continued to talk and talking soon turned into a relationship, this relationship was new and excited everything was great! Well almost everything you couldnt stop thinking about your kiss with Ellie, it felt wrong not telling Abby but it would ruin everything and ever since you heard from Dina she broke up with her new girl you couldnt help but think you were the reason. Abby had come by your place just for a movie night in, that was until Dina couldnt convice you to go to a party so she texted Abby knowing she'd want go and would convice you. You both quickly get ready and head out to the party, the party wasnt far at all so in a blink of an eye you were walking in with Abbys arm wrapped around you "you look so pretty tonight" Abby said while looking you up and down you smile and let out a giggle. Dina came running up to the both of you wrapping her arms around your neck hugging you "IM SO HAPPY YOU COULD MAKE IT!!" Dina yells already half drunk you let out a sigh "hey y/n im gonna look for Jesse and let him know Dina is kinda drunk" abby says while letting go of you and walking off. "how much have you had to drink?" you questioned her "im not drunk.." she splurs out trying to not slur her words "OH! i shouldve told you, Ellie is here i dont know where but shes here” Dina lets out in a whisper. hearing that Ellie is here makes your face go red, you see Dina run over to Jesse with Abby tralling not far behind you walk over to them abby smoothly wraps her arm around your waist and hands you a drink. you chug it, you need a distraction from the fact Ellie is here, anything to calm your nerves, Abbys face was confusion and shock she didnt expected you to chug the beer down and she was worried something was up "are you okay?" "im fine, dont worry about me" you untangle yourself from her and head off to find more beer. You find yourself in the kitchen searching for beer, you feel eyes on you. You grab the beer out of the fridge and close the door turning around to see who is in the kitchen with you, it was Ellie. It was like she was frozen in place the look on her face seemed like she was hesitant to speak “I saw you came with Abby seen her hands all over you” Ellie says looking straight at you with piercing eyes “yeah so what?” You try to sound annoyed you open up your beer and take a sip “why do keep staying with her” Ellie says stepping closer to you “you know I’m better than her” Ellie speaks softly into your ear your face goes red. Shaking the words she spoke out of your head to containing a straight face “what is your problem with Abby?” “I don’t like her she rubs me the wrong way everything about her just doesn’t seem right and I especially don’t like her now that you are with her” she moves her hand to your lower back “I miss you, I’m sorry for everything” you felt like you lost control of your body hearing those words you want to kiss her touch her like you used to but you know it’s wrong your body wants to lean into her touch but you push away and in that moment Abby walks in. Abby’s standing there watching you two trying to analyze the situation “what are you doing talking to her?” Abby says crossing her arms Ellie speaks up “she can talk to whoever she wants to” Ellie’s says with a hint of malice. “Should you really be the one talking about who she can talk to? Didn’t you ghost her??”

Abby grabs your hand and starts waking away you don’t look away from Ellie’s eyes, you hated that fact you couldn’t stop thinking about her. The rest of the night Abby kept you close you thought it was sweet but apart of you wanted to be near Ellie. You knew she was getting to you and she knew it, by the end of the party you and Abby get into a fight she wants to leave and you want to stay. By the end of the fight Abby is kissing you on the lips and leaving she didn’t want to fight especially when you are irritable, so she left. You had been drinking and felt sick and overstimulated so you went upstairs to find a bathroom just to get away from all the people and to splash water on your face. Ellie who had been watching you saw this as opportunity to talk to you alone so she followed you, before you closed the bathroom door she snuck in. “Ellie!! What are you doing?” “I wanted to get you alone, didn’t get to finish what we started downstairs” “Ellie.. we didn’t start anything downstairs” you give Ellie a look of shame “don’t look at me like that we both know what would of happened if Abby didn’t walk in.” You sigh “Ellie nothing was gonna happen” you look up at her Ellie grabs your face and kisses you. You kiss her back and move your hands to the back of her neck tugging on her hair she lets out a moan letting you put your tongue in her mouth. She lifts you up placing you on the countertop not breaking the kiss, she starts to move the kiss down to your neck sucking lightly, your head falls back and letting out moans. She rolls your dress up and pulls your panties offs, she rolls them up and puts them in her jean pockets. Ellie drops to her knees and kisses your inner thighs you start to breathe heavily in anticipation, she starts leaving marks on your inner thighs “Ellie..” you say in a whimper “yes baby?” She says looking up at you trying to act all innocent “please..” “please what?” “I need you Ellie” she licks her tongue in-between your folds you let out a moan of and a sigh of relief she starts sucking on your clit, you move your hands to her head gripping onto her hair she looks up at you. “Fuck ellie..” you moan out you couldn’t believe that you were doing this but god did it feel so good, “I’m gonna cum” your stomach starts to tighten and your breathing starts to pick up, Ellie gets up from her knees and you let out a whimper she starts kissing you again and moves her hand to start circling around your clit. You break the kiss and your head falls back a moaning mess she starts to pump her fingers in and out of you “Ellie I’m gonna cum please don’t stop!” “Come on baby cum on my fingers” she hummed out watching you ride her fingers “I’m so close els” Ellie’s fingers sped up. “There we go” Ellie praises you she lets you ride out your high on her fingers and once you’re done she grinning ear to ear “nothing was gonna happen huh?” She says being all cocky you had nothing to say you couldn’t say anything you were fucked dumb.

Tags!!

@mattm1964 @cattjull @loveyru @abbysleftbicepp @quillzsstuff @sophsstarsxm @bready101

[onyour-right]

Right, well, fucking hell guys lmaooo.

Cate & Sam becoming radicalised makes the most sense. Out of the whole group, they are the two that have been the most manipulated and abused by humans so I don't necessarily fault them, I just hope they don't take it too far. The relationship between Shetty and Cate was heartbreaking to watch play out, because underneath all the manipulation there were genuine feelings and love for each-other there. That moment when Cate called Shetty 'Indira' I actually got chills. Personally, Cate & Sam becoming anti-heroes to the group is very interesting.

Marie & Jordan. I feel like... their scenes together were really cute, and the way Marie went after Jordan when he was pissed, and then they had that half-hearted standoff before Jordan started laughing and kissed her, gave a great insight into their whole relationship dynamic and had me giggling. I also loved their detective scenes. BUT it's frustrating that they haven't had an opportunity to talk about their feelings for each-other, or even acknowledge everything that's happened between them. I mean, I also get that a lot of things are happening and so maybe there just hasn't been the chance for them to talk it out - which, again, I guess is sort of realistic - I just think that you can't ask an audience to fully root for a couple when you don't show the moments that it takes for them to become a them if you get what I mean. I still 10000% love & root for them; they are still my main draw, and Jaz, Derek & London sell those scenes. But I need more...

I feel so bad for Marie. The way she had to relive that trauma of her mother dying and being unable to help. Jaz really acted out in the scene where she was literally begging Cate to be able to help Shetty. That was the only part where I kinda thought Cate was wrong; because out of everyone Marie was the person who was most open to giving her another chance, and then she goes and betrays her like that.

I also liked the dynamic between Neuman and Marie (I wonder if she is the one who is Marie's benefactor) but I'm not putting my trust in her because there's something about her that's kinda suspect. I will say that I liked how she handled Dr Cardosa; I cannot truly believe that he actually thought he was going to walk away from that encounter alive... like c'mon now. I wonder if Neuman will get rid of the virus though or keep it somewhere else???

I expected Shetty and Dr Cardosa to die but I didn't think it would happen in the penultimate episode. Which means that the finale is gonna go even more crazy, and I have strong suspicions that someone else from the main group is gonna die or be locked up. Regardless of what happens though, the dynamics are seriously about to be changed which is quite exciting.

I also dont know how our main gang can go back to that school knowing that it's whole foundation is false, and that they're actually test subjects. It feels like either way they can't win; either they drop out of the school and go the independent route in regards crime fighting, or they continue knowing that it's all a farce and every step that they take is orchestrated.

[aziraphales-library]

do you happen to know any fics with fem dressing aziraphale, but hes still male? dont get me wrong i love ineffable wives, and fem aziraphale but im dying to see aziraphale in fem clothing as male presenting in a fic!! :))

Here are some fics with fem he/him Aziraphale...

In The Eye Of The Beholder by Puerinrotis (G)

Aziraphale didn’t like presenting as a woman. He hadn’t done it in a hundred years, at least, and he would’ve been content to never do it again. Yet, when Crowley came to him, saying that he got an invite to Wimbledon and he needed a lady to bring along, the angel agreed to go.

Four Times Crowley Went Too Far and One Time Aziraphale Went Too Far by Mitch_D_Punk (T)

Throughout all of human history, the rogue Demon and not so good Angel kept running into each other. No matter where they were, the other always seemed to be there. This is just a fluffy four + one of extra scenarios through out human history with Aziraphale and Crowley just generally making a mess of things and enjoying human life.

The Serpent and the Lady by summerofspock (T)

Aziraphale was thankful Crowley was nowhere to be seen. He would never let Aziraphale live this down. Bestowing a kiss upon the winner of a tourney? Crowley would surely mock him for years to come.

An Arrangement of Convenience by Blue_Sparkle (E)

Aziraphale works to purchase a bookshop space, but currently being a woman-shaped creature has its drawbacks when faced with rude property owners. The most obvious solution is to get Crowley to act as his husband and deal with all that nonsense, of course.

Miss Cosmos Beauty Pageant - The Winner Takes it All by DreamsOfAlexandria (T)

“It was all for the greater good,” adds Gabriel. “I really don’t know what the two of you like about Earth so much, but I think we ALL can agree that we do not want to fight another war. Right, sunshine?” Aziraphale nods weakly and Crowley slowly sits down again, still looking furious. The room is silent for a moment. “So,” Crowley finally asks, “What is the Great Plan?” “Oh, it’s quite clever. The two of you will enter the Miss Cosmos Beauty Pageant, make it to the final round and a jury of humans will announce a winner. The winning side get’s to rule over Earth and Heaven and Hell both will acknowledge the outcome. There will be no war for the rest of eternity.” Gabriel smiles cheerfully at Aziraphale and Crowley. “Right, good one,” Crowley snorts. “So, what’s the real plan?”

Time Flies (When You're Having Fun) by Mussimm (E)

Versailles, 1769 - Aziraphale has a blessing to perform at a masquerade ball and it's important that he gets this one right. So important, in fact, that he can't seem to leave until he does. But with a fancy dress, an attentive demon and an endless supply of champagne, it's a little challenging to stay on mission.

- Mod D

[dotster001]

hi i got a request for grim ( Platonic ) where the reader and grim get stuck in a time loop and just have fun because the day ( or whatever far you want it to go ) will reset

so its just reader and grim having fun <3

( ofc you dont have to do this <3) (ofc it doesnt have to be grim it can be another characters )

3k follower Masterlist

A/N: I know you were trying to be helpful, but it is the funniest thing to me that you linked a definition to platonic for an aro-ace 😂

Unresolved

"Come to bed. The Great Grim needs cuddles!" Your kitty friend pouted from the bed.

You bit your lip. You had to pack, tomorrow Crowley was sending you home. But you were leaving Grimmy behind….

"I'm coming," you said with a smile, getting into bed, and snuggling him close to your chest, letting his soft purrs help you drift off.

It felt like moments and your alarm was going off.

"Don't get up yet,"Grim groaned, and you gently scratched behind his ears.

"If I don't, the headmage will keep me here for another year. You know how he is."

He grimaced and rubbed his eyes, and you reached for your packed bag….

Which wasn't there.

"Grim?"

"Hm?" He responded tiredly, continuing to rub his eyes.

"Nothing," no use worrying him. He already had a lot on his mind. You didn't have much packed anyway, so you quickly gathered your things and made your way to Crowley's office.

He was sipping coffee, and looked very confused by your presence.

"Perfect? Did we have an appointment?"

"Yes. You're supposed to send me home today."

Crowley burst into laughter. "Silly, silly prefect. That's tomorrow, remember?"

You stared at him, then looked to Grim.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

You looked at your phone, and immediately dropped it in shock.

"It's yesterday!"

"Prefect?" If you could see his eyebrows, you could guess Crowley was raising one of them.

"Nothing," you muttered. "I'll see you tomorrow, sorry for the confusion."

You quickly scooped up Grim and took him outside.

"Grim, it's still yesterday."

"Huh?"

"Look!" You showed him your phone screen, proudly displaying yesterday's date.

"I'm not doing the same classes again," Grim said with an eye roll. Which was soon replaced with a grin. "We should go to the town!"

"But-"

"Y/N, you leave tomorrow, right? So let's enjoy this extra day together!"

You couldn't say no to that. You owed him that much, considering he now had an extra day with him.

"Alright."

You spent the day on town, eating treats, buying Grim gifts, playing games in the arcade. At the end of the day, your kitty companion was sleepy, so you took him home, tucked him in, and snuggled in for the night.

Your alarm went off, and this time you checked the date.

"It's the same day," you muttered to Grim, and sure enough, the things you had bought yesterday were gone.

"We should go to the beach today!" He squealed excitedly, bounding from the bed before you could say anything.

….

It had been the equivalent of a week of the same day.  You were concerned. Grim was not.

"Grimmy, aren't you worried about this time loop thing?"

"Nope! I'm selfish, and it means you'll stay with me longer!" He giggled unashamedly.

You rolled your eyes, continuing your internet search, "How to End A Time Loop."

Most of the search results implied there was something unresolved that you needed to figure out. There was one search result, however, that discussed the possibility of someone's unique magic manipulating time. The trouble with that response was that no one but you and Grim seemed to be the only ones who knew what was going on.

You immediately smacked your forehead.

"Grimmy? Is something wrong?"

"Hmm?" He asked through a mouthful of spaghetti.

"Is there something bothering you?" 

He tilted his head thoughtfully before shoving another forkful of spaghetti into his mouth.

"Nope."

The next morning you woke yourself earlier than the alarm, and made some cookies, setting a plate full of them, and a glass of milk on a tray. 

You gently shook Grim awake and giggled as he squealed in excitement over the cookies.

He started shoving them in his mouth, two at a time, and you sat gently next to him, scratching his head.

"Grim, what's wrong?"

He froze, and after a moment too long of silence, he looked up at you with teary eyes.

"You're going to leave me when tomorrow comes. And I know you have to go but…"

"But?"

"I wanna go with you," he whispered.

"I thought you wanted to be a great mage."

"I did, but…you're my family. I'd rather be with you."

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

He glared at you. "I'm not stupid. I knew you'd tell me to stay here. But I ain't got no one else! And without you, what's the point of being a great mage."

He placed a hand on his hip, and snickered.

"Besides, you need me to protect you!"

You smiled softly. "If I said you could come with me, you'd be okay never coming back?"

He nodded aggressively, his eyes filling with hope.

"Okay Grim, if you're sure-" he cut you off with a hug.

That night, you packed your bags like usual, but this time, another person was packing alongside you. This time, when you set your alarm, another person had the appointment with you.

And when you woke up to go home the next morning, it was the next day.

[slickchickchocolatier]

ↀOUBLE IIROUBLE - CHAPTER SIX

Sorry for the slight delay, but here is chapter six. I had to cut it short bc i'm currently babysitting but i wanted to get it to you guys. but dont worry, next chapter will have all the parts that i didnt get to finish in this one plus.....it will be Heejeong's turn ;)

Warnings: Smut....this entire chapter is just pretty much....pure smut. it goes back and forth between consensual and non-con....and it's pretty descriptive. breeding kink, HS being dominant, relentless, and yeah....unprotected sex.....umm...i think thats it. aside the fact that its intercourse between step siblings.

“H-Heeseung! Ah!”

………………….

Restrained by the grasping hold Heeseung held onto, your wrists suffered the sharpened sensation of his fingers and palms pinning them against the wall. 

You had tried your best to struggle free, even getting as far as detaching yourself from him for a brief moment before he extended his reach and caught you once more. 

“Noooooo…..come here baby….you feel so soft….touching you like this is all that’s been on my mind…”

“Stop….Heeseung stop….this…this is wrong…we can’t!”

“Oh yes we can….watch me.”

“Heeseung!”

.................

Now here you were, backed up against the wall, and the width of his enlarged frame trapping you in.

Your own step-brother…..

..................

"Upon meeting the notorious Blackbeard, his face sly with a deceiving look…

His eyes grasped on to the maiden like a fisherman’s hook.

Yet all is said and done, the man has tricked mother, father, son, and friends.

His secret will be known, a closet that reveals his darkest trends…."

……………..

Sitting you on the edge of the thin console table, his chest pushes you back, causing your shoulder blades to meet with the cool wall.

The way he propped you on the table gave him the upperhand to focus more in melting into your body as he only needed to minimally support both your weight, which allowed him to focus on getting you to surrender... 

His tux became loose as his jacket slid off his shoulders, the buttons on his collard shirt came undone, and his bow tie unraveling; his hands loop under your thighs, making you further lean back against the surface of the wall, with only the table bearing the density of your weight.

Standing and leaned forward into you, he positions himself in between your legs, loving the fact that he had you falling apart for him. 

You turned your face away, as much as you felt shameful, knowing this whole ordeal was wrong….it felt so right….it felt so good. Yet you couldn't find yourself brave enough to face him straight on; he was, after all, your stepbrother.

“Ugh…Heeseeeeeeung.”

Sucking on your neck, the squeezing sound of his lips suckling onto your skin was his only response, up until he pulls away, releasing the suction of his mouth that latched on to your soft neck. 

“Yeah baby…..” gasping a deep groan against your ear, you felt his hand reach down, snaking itself into the opening of his trousers and feeding his length out. It was long, thick, and stiff…..it was exactly what you wanted at this moment since he had you emotionally and physically dislocated. 

He didn’t immediately penetrate you, in fact, he took great pleasure in toying with you first, his own manner of performing four play. 

With his tip, he drifts it along the lining of your slit and probed your opening, all the while he slowly…..sloooooooowly licked your neck from the base to the edge of your jawline. 

“Ugh! Please!!”

“Yeah….just like that baby…..get wet for me.” 

Noticing the heat and moisture rising in between your legs, he harshly taps his lengthy cock against your clit, slapping it repeatedly and enhancing the sensitivity of each tap. 

How could he do this to you? Going against your wishes to cause a stir of raging, euphoric turmoil to take place in your gut, only to tease you…

“Please…” you whimpered. You nearly were begging at this point as your words ended in broken gasps while you softly sobbed. It was so painful. 

The tingling numbness was too much, your hips were gyrating fiercely as your thighs shook with an uncontrollable urge to wrap around his waist. Your clit and opening was pulsating, you found yourself wanting it to be filled and stuffed with every inch of him. At this point, you needed it. 

Hyperventilating, your chest rises in an up and down motion as you tried to steady your breathing, yet it was nearly impossible. The numbness in the depths of your core became stronger, you could feel the heated moisture of your body’s lubricant oozing out as you clenched your opening, trying to prevent it all from gushing out. 

Grabbing onto your arms, he pins them to your side as he slightly lifts, and adjusts your position to where your rear practically hung off the edge of the table. The back of your head and your shoulder blades remain plastered on the wall, sliding downwards as you felt him pulling you to the edge, right up against his groin. 

With your legs held taut, he centers himself to your opening, poking you with his tip as he scoffs out a sly smirk while bearing teeth.

"A little sensitive, are we?” Biting down on his bottom lip, he admits a dark chuckle while he feels you slightly jump from the shocking sensation of his probing offense.

"Pl-please....." you whined out. Initially, you may have had wanted him to stop, yet now, all you yearned for was him to be inside you.

"Come here baby......" his hands loop around your thigh in an overhead position, pulling you towards him, causing you to further slide down as your rear hangs over the edge of the table completely, your hair decorating the wall as the strands lay sporadically against it.

Propping yourself, you rest against your palms as you flatten them on the surface of the table, forcing the weight of your body to remain on stilted foundation, shifting your weight back and forth between each hand.

His thumb rubs your clit in small, circular motions as he commits tiny hip thrusts, teasing your entry with his tip as it remains in contact, yet is refrained from fully entering.

"Please....what are you doing?......." you begged as you felt your head move upwards in a small, slightly pouncing manner upon feeling him pressing against you, only to be pulled back and snapping back against the center of your slit once more.

"Shhhh.....its okay baby relax......relaaaaaaaaax......relax for big brother Heeseung." he whispers, all the while he rests his forehead against yours as he focuses his sight down on to your exposed breasts, and your clit, which he continued to rub with the padding of his thumb.

Succumbing to the edge of his teasing notion, you felt your entire body shake with a vibration that was so intense, it was unlike anything you've ever experienced. Your breathing became uncontrolled, and the moment it hitched, thats when you felt the ooze of the sweet, warm, and gushing liquid exiting from your cavity, leaking in between the folds and meeting with his skin. Feeling it drip out with his tip, he releases a prolonged sigh upon sensing the warmth of the moisture that was releasing out, kissing his tip as he rubs it up and down in between your swollen lips.

"Uuuuuh huuuuh.....you ready for me?"

"Y-yes...."

"You sure?"

"Yes...." you pleaded. Your voice releases an airy crack as you found yourself sobbing yet again from the amount of relentless pressure, numbness, and the unbearable tingle that punched your gut as each second went by. You needed to be filled, you needed him.

"Uuuuugh....please.......please....do....do something....do everything.....i just....."

"Just what?" he demanded as he continued to rub your clit, all the while staring down with an aloof expression. The tone of his voice grew stern. Whispering with a firm and solid tone, he repeats once more. "Just what?...."

"I just......ugh......I need you....." you bit down on your tongue as you finally admitted defeat. You couldn't help it, it was all his fault for bringing you at the stage you were now in, although you sensed that he looked at it from a different perspective.

He blamed you. He felt it was your fault, for merely existing....for breathing....for being yourself.....for being so beautiful and always speaking in that seducing voice that was so feminine in nature. The way he saw it, everything was your fault and he loved it. You sensed it...you knew it deep down, now that it became obvious that he was yearning for you the entire time since meeting you.

"Awww....you need me baby? Hmm?"

"Y-yes......"

"Say it again, then."

"I....I need you...."

"Yeeeeeeeeaaah.....you do." he whispers into your ear, before he places a soft kiss right on your cheek, keeping his lips in place as he rubbed his thumb in soft, circular motions against your lower back. It was so tender and romantic, it nearly caught you off guard.....until you felt the stretch of his entry.

Jolting violently, you nearly jumped off the table had it not been his firm hold in keeping you steady. With one hand looping around your lower back, and the other plastered on your inner thigh, pushing it aside, forcing you to remain fully exposed and vulnerable, his stiff muscle needed no guidance as he begins to shove himself in.

"Ugh! Ah! H-Heeseung..." you began whimpering out, continuously jolting upwards, trying to evade his entry as the feeling of being opened felt more painful than pleasurable.

Naturally, since it had been quite a while since you last had intercourse, spending all your time in college focusing on your studies, merely using a simple vibrator to get by on your urges and needs, the last time you recalled having sex was well before you started attending your university, and was graduating high school.

Yet the feeling of being breached, from when you dated someone from a different school, or even back when you had your first, well before your senior year, when you had a steady boyfriend who shared the same class, the feeling felt nothing as it had right now, with Heeseung.

The way he was built, he was more bold, hard, and strong. Everything about him was ten times more intense than the average man, which would explain why you were feeling the immense sting. What propelled you to fear more, was the fact that he hadn't even fit himself in yet, not even the tip.

"It hurts! It hurts! Please! Please stop....." You winced your eyes shut and gasped out in deep breaths, feeling your breasts rise from the inhales and pressing up against his hard chest plate.

Again, you shifted your hips upwards and away, trying to avoid him entering, yet his hold on you kept you still, and you were in no position to remove any one of your hands from the table that supported your weight, unless you had planned on falling back completely.

Slowly, you felt the skin around your cavity conforming to the bulging tip as he slowly pressed in further, finally feeding the bulbous top of his shaft in, inch by inch. If the pain was so bad with just the very tip of his cock partially entered, how was it going to feel once he starts to slide the rest of his length in?

You couldn't bear the thought, taking the risk, you quickly shifted one of your palms and pressed it against his abdominal muscles, right on his pelvis, with your palm flat against him. Pushing, you gained just a slight bit of distance as you pushed yourself back, not at all having any effect to the stallion before you. Still, it didn't matter whose body needed to move, so long as you could create a gap between you two, which you did...just a few inches, until he tugged you by the grasp he had around your lower back, harshly pinning your thigh down even more as he digs his fingers into your supple skin.

"No......." you whispered desperately as he slowly continues to fit himself inside, which was hard as he found the friction to be the result of your preserved nature in abstaining from casual and constant sex.

"You were a good girl throughout college, weren't you?" He scoffs as he inhales deeply upon savoring the feeling of your warm skin, slowly surrounding his. "I"m gonna fuck you up so good." He smirks out.

Slowly.....painfully.....little by little, he continues to feed himself in, the very tip already opening you as he starts to enter.

"Stop! Please stop! Too much! It's too much!" you cry out, your palm pressing him again, yet it was no use.

Ignoring your pleas and constant whimpering, he merely relays a calm expression under half heavy lids, watching as his muscle continues to go inside you.

"I know....it wont hurt for long, I promise....just be a good girl and take it all in, I promise I'll make the pain go away. I'll make you feel really good...like a fucking queen.....and i'm going to love doing it." He gently tones out, leaning in and placing a kiss on your forehead. The moment he did so, while he bends inward, you felt a sudden sliding of his shaft expediting its entry as his body caves into you, causing you to push against him once more, only to find that it did nothing to aid you. Instead, it fueled him with an instinctive nature of dominance and aggressiveness, you saw it by the way. he bit down on his lip and smirk out a deep chuckle. If you hadn't known any better, the man looked animalistic, and you were the prey of the raging beast.

"Almost there.....fuck baby.....you feel soooooooo good......been wanting....to feel you......wanting to make you feel good......fucking love you." He stutters out, locking your lips with his own in the process.

"No! Stop! Please take it out!" you gasped out as he kept his tongue inside your mouth.

He continues to slide in, while he massages his tongue over and under yours, stroking and complimenting your canines.

Finally, the moment you felt the base of his groin making contact with your pelvis, you gasped in relief. He was finally all in, which you had wanted, up until you felt the pain. Now that he was nestled inside you, he allowed you to regain your breathing and even guided you into taking deep breaths.

"Breathe baby.....mmm...breathe....yeah....good girl. Breathe for me."

Forming a small circle with his lips, he looked as if he was going to whistle, instead, he merely blows on your forehead, a method to faintly cool you as you took in your breaths. You weren't sweating, not yet, nor were you feeling hot, but the second you felt his breath blowing against your skin, you felt a sense of relaxation coming back to you.

The lustful numbing and tingling was calming, like a raging storm calmed by the tranquility of the sunlight, the pulsating punches were toned down as he bellowed out and remained burrowed inside your soft muscles.

"Deep breaths baby." he issued, and immediately, he begins to move in and out.

Gasping and slamming both hands on his biceps, you relied on his strength and his broad frame as you held on for dear life. Since he was already inside, remaining on the stilt platform of your hands and trying to create distance was pointless, he was so close....and was going to remain close. Yet the stinging pain remained, and you were desperate in trying to appeal to him yet again....

"STOP...stop.....stop....pl-please...oh my God.....stop...." you breathed out each word in an airy gasp as you squeezed the material of his tux, digging your fingers into his arms.

"Shhh, breathe baby." was all he murmured as he continued to move, thrusting in and out at a moderate pace. His speed was neither fast nor slow, just deep and thick.

Tilting your head back, he watches as your throat shifts up and down as your body receives his penetrating act. Up and down...up....and down.....

"Theeeeere you go.......just like that......breathe baby.....breathe." he guides in a whisper, reaching up and cradling a gentle grasp on the side of your neck, his thumb stroking in an up and down motion on the center of your throat. "Just like that......fuck....breathe for me baby girl."

Just then, he starts picking up the pace. "Yeah, breathe....uh huh...just like that....fuck....fuck you're so damn pretty."

“P-please…..n-not so hard……I-I feel like I’m breaking….”

“Come on baby, keep fucking it.” 

Increasing speed, your body was now bouncing ferociously up and down, growing weak as the base of his groin muscles slam into you. The sting transitions into a burning sensation from being slightly torn open, yet the tingling and numbing sensation turned into something that was so very pleasant......so much in fact, that you began to release prolonged moans of erotic nature.

"Uuuuugh...."

"Oh fuck....good girl......keep going, i fucking love the way you sound and look right now."

"Uuuuuuuuuugh...mmmm.....mmmmmmmm.....uuuuugh..."

"Yeah....good girl. Fuck it...my good girl."

The sound of his skin kissing yours as he slaps his pelvis against you, thrusting his muscle in and out, twitching and flicking it up each time he rails deep within you. Shifting your weight up and down at his mercy, your body goes completely weak and limp from his insatiable hunger for lust.

"Uh...fuck baby.....you want more? Hmm?....Come here....Ill give you more..."

Shifting his hands to meeting and wrapping around the narrow part of your waist, beneath the slinky material of your dress, which had been rolled and coiled around your waistline, leaving your top and bottom half to be fully nude and exposed, he feeds his hands under the fabric. Feeling his rough hands pinch a grip on your sides, you felt him pulling and tugging you, lifting your entire weight up and down as he bounced you on his length at merciless speed.

Your feet dangle off in mid air as your legs remained spread wide open, with his frame centered in between, your rear still hangs off the edge of the table, yet your body sustains and remains upright thanks to his support as you latched your grip on to his arm, and wrapped your other arm around his neck.

"Oh my God....no!.....ugh!"

"Yes....."

"N-no....please...."

"Yes baby."

Going back and forth had created a sense of immense sexual tension between you both. Each time he responded, he went faster, deeper, and harder, and before you knew, it, you found yourself gushing out and splattering as he rammed himself inside you.

At this point, the burning and stinging had fully disappeared. All you could feel, was the punching pikes of pleasure that was hitting you inside and out, all from his unyielding performance and stamina. Hitting the right spot each and every single time, you moaned out his name, craving for more.

"Ugh.....oh......mmmm....Heeseung..."

"Talk to me baby....."

"Mmm...mmmmm...oh God....more! Please.....please....do..do more....."

"Yeah?" Leaning in once again, he places a delicate and passionate kiss on your lips, inserting his tongue and dragging the tip of it across the roof of your mouth. Clicking it back in, you felt the snap of his oral muscle as he flicks it inside, becoming addicted to the harsh 'click' sound that came with it.

Melting into him, you were fused with his body. Even so, at the moment, when you leaned a bit back to your original position, placing both palms flat on the surface to support your weight, it didn't matter that you were no longer wrapping your arms around his neck. The moment you were on the stilt position that founded your upper weight, it gave him leverage to not only go faster and harder, but to make you bounce relentlessly as you felt him pounding against your pelvic and rear muscles.

Now, you were squelching as the sound of moisture and skin rubbing, molding, and unifying was filling the room. Your moans became more drawn out and louder, while your hair flew all around as you felt yourself being levitated by his grasp. Everything felt amazing, it didn't matter that you were being fucked relentlessly....by your own step brother.

Tilting your head back, you pushed your hip up against him, lifting it slightly, allowing him to fuck you deeper.

"Awww fuck baby....you're going to make me cum."

Stuffed, thrusted, and bouncing on his thick muscle, you nearly screamed out as you felt the peak of that tingling sensation, building up and was near a point of massive explosion as the tip of his dick repeatedly taps against the soft spot, deep inside your stomach.

"Ugh!....mm!....Ugh!....Heeseung fuck me....please Heeseung fuck me...oh my God please....." you whimpered out, the pleasure was so great, the tears that streamed down your face was not of pain this time around, but from the intensity of his euphoric deliverance to your throbbing cunt.

Leaning in for the final time, he wraps his arms around you, lifting and settling your entire frame on the hilt of his lower abdomen, forcing your legs to wrap themselves and rest against the hilt of his hip. With added depth, the motions of your body bouncing up and down became much more steep as you felt his hand grab on to one of your rear cheeks. Squeezing it within his grasp, while using it as a leverage point to add momentum, he lifts and pushes it downward in sync with each thrust, adding a heightened boost in fucking his throbbing cock inside you.

"Fuck! I'm gonna cum..." he spurts out against your neck.

With your arms wrapped around his neck once more, you lean your head back and allow him to breathe, gasp, and scoff out pleasurable groans against your throat.

"Ugh! Please....ugh please....." you begged, coming close to climax.

"I know baby...I know.......we'll do it together.....fuck baby.....we'll cum....together..." He groans out, mouth parted open as he latches it on your skin, gasping out.

"Ugh! Heeseung!"

"Fuck, beautiful!"

The moment you gushed out, with the hot liquid seeping and coating his length, all from his vigor, Heeseung bursts out, and explodes inside as he releases.

Coating your walls and staining that soft spot that his raging tip was just beating on, his essence fills you to the brim. Despite already stopping at a clinic to pick up birth control pills upon settling things with Kurt, and dating again, you enjoyed the rush of Heeseung's ejaculation filling you, allowing the natural process of breeding to take place, even if you were taking preventative measures against getting pregnant. The delightful thought of his semen swimming inside, traveling deep inside your body and rushing into fertilize you was something that aid you to reach climax at such a profound state. You loved every single second of it.

Jutting his length deeper as it remained fully inside, Heeseung's face remains burrowed against our breast, suckling on your nipple as he thrusts a few more times, ensuring that he emptied himself entirely inside your body.

Once satisfied, he reaches down and holds himself at the base with two fingers, slowly pulling out. Each time you had felt as if he was close to fully exiting, you were reminded just how lengthy he was as he would continue to slowly slide, causing you to feel the rippling lining of the veins that decorated his cock.

"Mmm....Heeseung..." you whimpered out with furrowed brows of slight pain. The sensation of being stretched out and torn open was coming back now that you had rode out the high of your orgasm.

Listening onto the suckling sound of his mouth while it remains latched on to your areola like an infant child, he twirls his tongue around and flickers it against the tip of your nipple, distracting your mind away from the pain.

Finally, his lengthy muscle was all the way out, the bulging tip engorged and pulsating as it made it's exit, seeping out and leaving a trailed line of his children to decorate your walls and your clit.

Holding on to you, he embraces on your frame tightly and sits you back down on the console table, leaning you back while he adorns you with a series of kisses, starting with your breasts, then moving his way up to your collar bones, neck, throat, jawline, and then your lips.

Moaning deeply into your mouth, he strokes your neck again, ending the session with passionate and heated....love......

Love.....it wasn't lust....it wasn't just strictly desire....it was.....love.

The way he held, the way he moved, the way he would stroke your skin and lick it with his tongue. The way his eyes looked at you through a heavy gaze, with half shut lids and parted lips, gasping in shock each time he noted how your hair framed your face, your skin glistened against the dim light, or how your puckered, cherry stained lips would shine and look delectable for him to suck on.

It was undeniable, this man....your stepbrother.....was in love with you. It wasn't just his mannerisms or the way he looked at you either....

"I love you.....you're mine....you're all mine.....nothing is going to take you away from me.......I'm keeping you.....forever.....y/n."

He was right....he was keeping you forever. But it wasn't just him....soon, you'd find out that another pair of hands, eyes, and lips were going to take its turn....feasting on you as Heeseung had just done.....

CHAPTER 7

Taglist: @deobitifull; @solstramaii; @vampiregirl215; @nshmrarki; @enhypen14; @iamliacamila; @lisaaannna; @nikstrange; @jaehaki; @luv-enhy-skz33; @silcry@honeysjae; @crackedcameraa; @stinkmonkey ; @baekxo07@raishaii@yangjungwon33 @lhspeachie ; @differentchildwombat ; @prettykia ; @kimsseonu ; @stvrryhee ; @en-thralled ; @hoonzdzbl ; @yuppppp ; @jinniespuppy ; @browsehnnie @prettykia @lprww @they2luv1naia @ellixqz@mimimovv @stvrryhee @moonmoongi @seungjiseyo @csmicvrse @yohanabanana , @heeshees @yumii0828 , @lprww, @mariji , @silcry

[mythicalgeek]

Addressing how Persephone is sexualized in Lore Olympus.

Soooo... here's the thing, I LOVE Lore Olympus. I love the art style, the magic, how it mixes greek mythology with the modernday and it's reimagine of the character's, that it's not afraid to deel with sierous issue and I relate with Persephone on a very personal level. I found the webtoon at a time when I really needed an escape from things happing in my life and Lore Olympus was there comfort and inspire me.

I have a lot of love for this webtoon, however... there's some problems I had with how Persephone was sexualized in the first season. There were moment's where she was viewed in a fetishized male gaze that was ... not great 😖 (case and point 👇)

This portrayal unfortunately falls under the sexy baby trope and I found this very strange and out of place in a story that is suppose to a feminine retelling of greek mythology.

Now I dont mind that Persephone is sexualized since she is of age and it's a part of her character arc. Her story is about gaining agency after being sheltered her whole life and understanding her sexuality is a part of that. Her reclaiming of her trauma and sexuality is one of the reasons way a lot of people enjoy the webtoon and can relate with this verson of Persephone.

So why is she portrayed under the male gaze in a way that does not support the core of her character? It's especially worse when we are seeing Persephone through Hades eye's, witch doesn't help since the age gap is a controversial topic in the fandom and a lot people think that LO is pedophilia, and these moment's didint help the romance or Hades as a character.

And that sucks because as far a retelling of the Hades and Persephone myth goes, I acually like how most of there relationship is handled and the age gap dose not bother me as mush, mostly because I think that Hades is somewhat emotional stunted do to his trauma and that him and Persephone are at the same level intellectually, and a lot of there relationship is quite healthy albeit some what codependent. It definitely is not perfect and I do wish that the romance could have been handle defiantly at times, mostly with the framing and the language that they use in some scenes.

I've seen some people compare Lore Olympus to Twilight and Fifty Shades of Gray and even though there are some similarities ( both having a young woman discovering her sexuality and a immortal or rich boyfriend/ husband), but the core difference is that Hades is not abusive or possessive twords Persephone and treats her with respect.

Lucky with season 2 and 3 the gross male gaze moment's where mostly removed and we saw more of the female gaze, (not just because we got more shirtless Hades 🤭) but because of how Persephone is portrayed sexually. (case and point 👇)

Persephone isn't fetishized like she is in season 1 instead she's shown as powerful and has agentsy over her own boby, the focus is more on the intimacy, connection and longing between her and Hades and when we do see Persephone trough Hades eye's she's viewed with tenderness and seen as a beautiful desirable women and not a sexy baby. Also it should be notice that after the ten year banishment Persephone is thirty year's old when she and Hades gets married and have sex for the first time.

This some what redeemed Lore Olympus for me and even though the webtoon it far from perfect there is nothing wrong enjoying and finding value in this story as long we view it with our brain's turnd on.

Just to be clear this not a anti Lore Olympus post, I am simply addressing one of the problematic aspects of the webtoon because I feel like we should acknowledge it's flaws while enjoying the story and characters.

[anyalovesu]

hi!! i just wanted to say i loved your jungwon fic did you like her in the morning its so good! esp cause i love niki too like you literally had me crying at midnight. i was wondering if you had any plans on a part 2? you dont have to but i kinda had an idea of making it based on the song paths by niki and it will be in jungwons pov? maybe the reader became a famous figure skater and maybe an olympian and jungwon watches her from the screen thinking of what could’ve been. like maybe ae-cha and won’s relationship didn’t end well and jungwon regrets everything but hes so late. you can choose between a happy ending or not but this is just an idea! thank you sm again cause i really needed a cry

𝓟aths

—Wherein Jungwon's and Y/N's paths cross again in a common friend’s wedding.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

genre : angst ; hurt/comfort ( ??? )

pairings : jungwon x ex!reader ; sunghoon x fiancee!reader

wc : 2k+ words

cw :

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ oc(s) is mentioned ( ae-cha and miyeong )

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ non-idol!au ; gamedev!jungwon , olympic figureskater!reader

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ jungwon is still slightly an ass , but he gets over it and gets his shit together

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ y/n is still weirdly very nice for her own good

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ ( ft. ning ning from aespa , riwoo from bnd ; heeseung & jake from en- )

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ not proofread ( yet )

song : paths - niki ( buzz , 2024 )

part 1 : here

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

The sound of his mechanical keyboard clicking filled their office as he groaned in frustration trying to figure out what went wrong with the game they were developing. It wasn’t much help that almost everyone in their department was yapping about the Winter Olympics and how the country’s figure skating pair representatives came from the same university as their game development head. 

Jungwon was fully aware of your endeavors, you won several national titles with Sunghoon in the past year and it was no secret to anyone that your chemistry has evolved your partnership into a beautiful relationship. You were the country’s favorite couple at the moment, you and Sunghoon were on the news everywhere when you both were announced to be selected to compete for the Winter Olympics in Italy.

Of course, Jungwon was happy for you. As he should. You did nothing to stand in his way of his success. If anything, you have always been supportive of his game development dream—there was even a point in time where you’d stay up all night, looking for the best companies he could bag a great internship program for. But it was rendered short lived after he made his decisions. 

Him and Ae-cha managed to stay together for the next two years of their lives after what happened. After graduating, they went and bought a house together and even got engaged at some point. Jungwon was on top of the world and over the moon when all of those things laid themselves before his eyes… but life happened.

Things didn’t work out too well for the both of them with Jungwon being absorbed into this project, and Ae-cha being too busy with her community service as she began to work her way into competing for the Miss Universe title which then started to take a toll on their relationship, as Ae-cha is determined to win her title first before getting married. They used to fight so much about not having time and not being able to give their part of the relationship anymore—maybe that comes along with the fact that they have drifted far apart while they chased for the dreams that they were well aware that the other had. But one time, the fight got so bad that the both of them came into the point of questioning whether it was still right to stay in that horrid situation. They were as bad as being broken up anyway with the both of them barely seeing each other because of how busy they got. 

It wasn’t like they didn’t notice that they were drifting far apart from each other. They knew. They most definitely knew. But were they strong enough to face the truth that their relationship that came at the cost of someone else’s peace was going to waste? Were they brave enough to accept that after you forgave the both of them for breaking your heart, they were going to break each other’s next? No.

So for the love of everything good, they tried to make it work.

“Oh my God! They won!” Riwoo jumps from his seat, raising his phone proudly showing everyone the competition live stream, as if he was the one who won the title. “Gold! Jungwon! Your schoolmate won gold with Park Sunghoon!”

Jungwon decided to pick up his phone and check his social media accounts to see how the competition turned out. And there it was,

Milano-Cortina 2026: Park Sunghoon, Y/N L/N Receives Gold Medals in Artistic Pairs Figure Skating.

He couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride that you have finally reached your ultimate dream of competing in the Olympics and won gold for that matter. He knew you’ve always been passionate about skating, it just wasn’t something he was interested in back then. Even so, he was busy supporting Ae-cha to realize that he’s neglected you in the process. He has been unfair. He has been cruel to you and up until now that he and Ae-cha have gone their separate ways, the guilt still keeps him awake at night, like a monster in his closet when he was a kid waiting until all the nightlights are turned off before it jumps and mauls him.

It feels unfair and delusional of him to feel the need to reconnect, especially when she’s asked to never show his face to her again when the both of you last spoke, which was the day he picked up his belongings from your apartment. Either way, you were happy with Sunghoon and even after everything that happened, he still loved Ae-cha very much. Every insecurity about Ae-cha that you confessed two years ago is coming back to bite him in the ass because everytime he looks at Sunghoon, he just knows… that Sunghoon is everything he will never be.

“Holy shit, man! Park Sunghoon is proposing!”  Ning Ning rises in glee coming over to Riwoo to hit his arm repeatedly out of excitement. “Holy shit that is so cute!”

“Did she say yes?” Jungwon blurted out, making everyone’s eyes turn to him, suddenly curious as to why all of a sudden Jungwon was interested in what was going on in the competition. 

Of course they didn’t know you were Jungwon’s ex-girlfriend. None of them went to the same university so, without a doubt they would not know if he didn't bring it up. Plus, not letting them know would be for the best, as it could possibly taint Ae-cha’s rapidly rising career. It was for the better that they didn’t know. You guys agreed to keep your relationship private when you were together anyway, so it was no big deal that it remained private even when you guys broke up. 

“Of course, Y/N said yes!” Ning ning chimes at him. “They’ve been so in love since they were like competing against each other!”

Wrong. You loved Jungwon first. Before there was Sunghoon, Jungwon loved you first. He was there before him. Which was a stupid thing to think about because technically, Sunghoon was there before him. Sunghoon, albeit only being seen by you as a competitor or a partner, only exclusively saw you as a friend and you, the same for him.

Not that it still matters though. He fumbled and Sunghoon was there to make sure he wouldn’t make the same mistake as Jungwon did. So there he was on international TV, proposing to the love of his life, after they both just reached their dreams of winning the Olympics. 

“Good for them,” he lied. 

He could’ve had that. As enraging as it sounds, he once dreamed of marrying you too. He once imagined living in a house with tall fences and having dogs and a kid probably. However, as life happened, he began to see that world more clearly with Ae-cha. Now apparently, life happens in the most mysterious and fucked up ways, because everything fell apart and he lost Ae-cha in the process of it. 

Real love was an active thing to do and along with making good decisions, Jungwon has failed to do it. It wasn’t as easy as relaxing and sleeping next to them—it’s a constant thing to do that you continue feeling even when you get tired or even when you’re going through your lonely nights. 

Jungwon gets it now. And while he still has Ae-cha’s name written all over his heart,  it’s already too late.

Even Ae-cha has made her peace with all of these. And he should actively strive to do that too.

So, when Jungwon receives an email inviting him to a common friend’s wedding, he contemplates whether he has the stomach to be there even if the groom was his friend after finding out that you were going to be the bride’s maid of honor.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

It confused Jungwon as to why he didn’t feel uncomfortable in the presence of both his ex-girlfriend and his ex-fiancee in the same room as him. Maybe it really comes to a point where if most of the people involved have already had their peace with what happened, it doesn’t feel that hard to deal with anymore. 

“Jungwon!” It surprised him that Sunghoon was the first one to greet him. He had this light aura to him, Jungwon didn’t feel judged that he even showed up after everything that happened. Even you and Ae-cha were speaking. You seemed to be having a wonderful conversation with the bride as you guys danced with the bride on the dance floor.

“Hey man,” Jake, the groom, smiled at him, patting him on the back.

Two years have gone and past, and seeing all these, most of their college friends being around enjoying the night made him realize that he was the only one left to not accept how things happened—the only one left to not have peace with what was already in the past. He was bitter, even though he absolutely had no right to because he was the one making his problems in the first place. 

“I heard about the game,” Heeseung asks him, seemingly interested. “How’s that going?”

“Well,” he replies, completely avoiding looking behind him where the girls were having the time of their lives. “Still has a few more months before we send it out to some for beta testing. Congratulations on the wedding, Jake, by the way.”

“Miyeong and Y/N have been stressing about it for months now,” Jake chuckled at him, glancing at his wife fondly as she laughed, holding on to Y/N for support. “They were really trying to sort everything out before Y/N goes to compete in Italy.”

“Congrats on that too,” he turns to pat Sunghoon’s back “And your engagement.”

“Thanks man,” Sunghoon grinned at him. 

Jungwon could not feel but be left out. Most of the people around here have accomplished so much in two years since graduating, may it be in their home lives or their careers. While here he is, dwelling on the bitterness of him being stuck in his game development project that’s progressing slower than he expected, after him and Ae-cha called the wedding off. He couldn’t help but feel insecure.

“What happened to you and Ae-cha anyway?” Heeseung blurts out. “You were going so well.”

‘Doing so well’ was such a big fat lie. Everything was crumbling behind that facade and they had to keep it that way for Ae-cha’s image. 

“Ae-cha realized she doesn’t want to get married until she’s won her title,” he explained calmly. “We’re fine though. We’re still friends.”

“I’m sorry man,” and there it goes.

He didn’t want their conversation to turn into a mini pity party for him. They’re supposed to be celebrating the union of two important people in their lives that are too disgustingly in love with each other—not pitying him for his failed love life. He manages to excuse himself to get some fresh air and enjoy some silence after all the small talk he had to do with a bunch of acquaintances that he met during the reception.

On the other hand, you spot him sitting alone outside. You contemplated at first whether you should approach him or just leave him be. After all, you didn’t want to stir the pot and cause trouble over something that has already been peaceful for years now. 

“It would mean a lot if you could explain to him that you meant your forgiveness,” Ae-cha hummed next to her. “If that’s okay with you.”

Minutes ago, you found out about the called off engagement along with the whys and hows of the way things played out. As much as you hated to admit it, even from afar, you had caused the both of them to feel guilty for how you left things. Despite Ae-cha explaining that it was completely on them, you knew deep inside that Jungwon took it to heart that you never wanted to see him anymore. And yes, maybe at the time you said it, you really meant it to the bottom of your heart. You were desperate to find comfort and peace as soon as possible after it happened before your eyes. You did what you have to do and you’re glad that you did. But now that you’re older and wiser, you suppose it shouldn’t hurt to help someone find peace in it too, right?

“That's okay with you?” you glance up t Sunghoon’s tall figure now standing behind you.

“Doll, I already have our last names engraved on that ring on your finger,” he chuckled, always so confident, “I’m fine with it. I trust you, jagi.”

“Alright, let me get a drink first.”

You walked right up to him, with two glasses of Manhattan cocktail in your hand and settled next to him. 

“You should be inside there getting wasted with your brothers,” you chuckled at him, handing him the drink. “Moping around here isn’t going to give you the peace that you’re looking for.”

“I thought time would give me that peace,” he mumbled honestly. “Lousy motherfucker never gave me anything.”

“Sorry,” you blurted out. “I shut you and Ae-cha out of my life as soon as I could.”

“You were hurt,” he replied. “You had every right to do that.”

“I’m sorry because it affected you more than I thought it would. I didn’t say I regret doing it,” you laughed lightly, looking up at the clear sky, though the stars were blurry from all the light pollution coming from the hotel’s ballroom. “Leaving things behind sometimes gives you more comfort than you think it would.”

“Cha and I hurt you so much, Y/N. How can you just forgive that?”

“Well I’m not hurt about it anymore, Jungwon,” you sigh heavily. “I’m okay. You should be okay with it too because if not, you’d be dwelling over nothing and that’s going to hurt you more in the long run. It’s all in the past, Won. You still have the future to write however the fuck you want.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because the sooner you accept how things turned out the easier it will be for you. And it has been two years, Jungwon. I’m okay now. I’m getting married. I’ve forgiven you and Ae-cha a very long time ago. It’s about time you forgive yourself too.” Your voice was soft and understanding. For the record, it has always been like that. The only time he ever heard you raise your voice was the last time you guys spoke and it broke his heart to realize that he had caused that. “You’re never going to learn how to love Ae-cha unless you let go of what’s already said and done. You can do better. You can be a better person. The mistakes that you made when you didn’t know better doesn’t have to be who you are for the rest of your life.”

“It’s too late,” he replied, remembering that even if he does end up forgiving himself, Ae-cha has already called off the wedding.

“Ae-cha is literally just waiting for you to get your shit together, you dumbass,” you snort. If he wasn’t certain whether you were intoxicated a while ago, he’s sure as hell that you are now. “It’s hurting Ae-cha to see you dwell on it for so long that she had to step back for the meantime. Why else would she have agreed to your proposal if she didn’t want to marry you? For as far as I know she only said she didn’t want to get married until she got her Miss Universe title—which I’m sure as hell with your woman’s incredible brain and beauty, she will get as soon as she steps in that stage. She never said she didn’t want to marry you! She wants to be with you even when you’re a complete fucking airhead and could not take context clues for the life of you.”

“I’m still here,”  he replies. “I never left.”

“Which is the fucking problem, Yang Jungwon,” she rolled her eyes. “Get your ass up and get your girl back because I did not just leave my dapper, handsome, wonderful, great of a fuck, Olympic gold medalist soon-to-be husband just for you to sit here and act like a kicked puppy. Chug that shit down and get Ae-cha back you blithering idiot.”

The playful harshness in your tone managed to get through his lonely facade and made him laugh. He chugs Manhattan down and looks back at you.

“I’m glad our paths crossed again, Y/N.”

“That, I am glad for too,” you smile at him putting up your fist as he does the same to bump it with you. “Ae-cha deserves better. You can be a better person for Ae-cha, Jungwon.”

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Jungwon.”

—end.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

masterlist

a/n : i could not stop myself from writing this right away :') i enjoyed buzz so much and paths is another one of my favorites ( + heirloom pain lol ) i hope anon does not mind that i changed the plot a little bit hehe i tried to stick to it a as much as i could <3

( i'd appreciate your feedback and notes sm ! you can leave a note here or send it ur feedback here if you'd like ! )

thank u !

xo, anya ୨୧

[appygrey]

my biggest problem with the PJO show right now is that the gods have been stripped of deity. none of them really feel like *gods,* they’re all just… guys. they have moments of power, but most of it just feels so situational— ares feels just about as threatening to the trio as any biker is to any set of children. it feels like they’re up against “an adult”, not the actual incarnate god of battle. poseidon is announced by a thunderstorm when he comes to talk to sally— fantastic, i love that touch, bring out POSEIDON, god of the sea, of the depths, earthshaker, STORMBRINGER— and two seconds later, he’s indistinguishable from any other mortal deadbeat dad in a bar. none of the gods have a proper AURA about them that makes you feel the way their domain should. poseidon should make you feel the way the SEA does, but all he is is a guy with an accent.

dont get me wrong, making the gods mortally relatable is a good angle! they feel more like people, and definitely *can* be more interesting characters for it. but i think the show just strips them of so much of what makes gods so interesting inherently that it doesn’t balance out. the greek gods are lenses through which generations of people for thousands of years managed to wrap their minds around their lives and the natural world. but wouldn’t it be funny if hades was silly and goofy?

my favorite gods in the series so far have been hermes and dionysos, probably because their characterizations in classical mythology fit best with disguising themselves as mortals the way they do. when hermes eyed the children from across the busy room, and without a thought for the dozens of mortal witnesses, openly greeted them and named them as demigods? i LIKED that, because it *felt* like he was very powerful, but was being sly with his power, as you would expect hermes the god of thieves and trickery to be. when i looked into his eyes, for a moment, it felt like a liminal space. like he was staring at me from outside of time, *as you would expect hermes to do as the liminal god.* and then, a few minutes later, his conversation with the children strikes a great balance between relatably mortal and also deific feeling. he *was* the liminal god outside of time, and this was at conflict with his very earthly and grounded love for his son. there was a good and interesting tension presented between those two worlds.

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

heyy hope ur day has been good so far!

could i request a bill x reader hurt/comfort oneshot?

Reader and bill get into a massive fight about something stupid they dont even remember anymore and in the heat of the moment bill says something about readers weight wich they are extremely insecure of (reader is a bit chubby) and both of them are just standing completely shocked about what just happened and the reader starts tearing up so bill tries to hug her and apologise but the reader pushes him away not wanting to be touched and he then realises how he fucked up.

a few days later after the reader avoided him he shows up with puffy eyes and eye bags, holding flowers and apologises saying how he knows that what he did wasnt right and that he cant undo everything but he wants to try and will wait how ever long reader needs to trust him again?

sorry if this is a bit much and its ok if ur not comfortable writing this!

have a great day!

(Yo! Sure I can but so sorry, I'm not good at apologies so I left it at the end like a sorta cliff hanger bc I suck at giving and writing apologies. But anyway, enjoy!)

An Apology Won't Cut It

You didn't even know how the hell this started, and how it ended up here.

It was a small argument, ending up in comments thrown and bickering until yelling ensued and the rest of the band left you both alone.

Yelling in the hotel room you and Bill shared after a concert when you just wanted to sleep away everything.

What you can remember was that Bill got mad at you for 'flirting' with a fan.

Yes, you used to flirt with fans, basically what Tom did, flirting with fans girls and boys alike until you got into a relationship with Bill and that stopped.

You used to enjoy it, but put an end to it once Bill expressed his feelings for you before.

You didn't engage in fan advances, but when you put them off you were scolded by your publicist and told not to and just smile, brush them off and move on.

Of course, you didn't want to be scolded anymore, so you just agreed and tried to keep your distance.

But the fanboy at the signing today would not give in, not taking the hint at your strained smiles and goodbyes but being tugged back into the conversation.

Bill noticed and you could see his attitude change the more and more the boy flirted, and the more you stood there, trying to get away but Bill didn't see that through his annoyance.

Georg had to swoop in and save you from being uncomfortable, and the last thing you wanted was to be arguing with Bill over something you didn't even want.

"This is so goddamn pointless, Bill. I tried!" You yelled, exhausted from the night and fed up as Bill scoffed.

"You didn't try anything. You stood there and let him flirt with you when I stood there like a dumbass!" Bill countered, visibly angry at you.

"Yeah! You stood there and watched him make me uncomfortable! Georg had to come get me." You sighed, running a hand through your hair to try and calm down.

"For all anyone knows is that you were flirting back! Like you always do!" Bill tried to get it across from his spot standing across from you.

"Like I always do?! Don't throw that shit back at me!" You yelled back, pissed at him for bringing up past relationships before you were even together, and something he already knew wasn't true.

"Don't go there because I didn't do anything wrong. I tried to get away, you stood there like an asshole watching me but are still blaming me."

Bill scoffed, muttering a comment under his breath he would soon regret when the room fell silent.

He soon stilled, a cold sweat running through him as he heard what his own mouth muttered through the room.

Bill looked up to see your face, anger, hurt and shock written across your face.

"Really?" You muttered, you scoffed as you gave a small laugh out of bewilderment as Bill stood up in surprise in himself.

"(Name)-" Bill tried before you cut him off.

"You really wanna fucking go there?" You asked, your voice strong but coming out with the same hurt written across your face.

Bill felt guilty eating up in him, the memories of comforting you about your insecurity of your weight in his mind, bringing up your confidence in yourself as he helped you.

Even holding your hand as you told him about the insecurities, remembering how he comforted you and made you feel like the most beautiful being in the world.

Only to see him crush it as the stupid fucking comment about your own weigh and insecurity was used against you in an argument.

By none other than Bill.

"You're an asshole, Bill." You shook your head, trying to blink away the tears.

You were angry at yourself for what happened at the concert, even if you tried your best to make it stop but was still blamed.

"I'm sorry." Bill apologized quickly, walking closer to you and trying to pull you in for a hug, for both of you but his hand was quickly slapped away.

You backed away towards the door of the room, snatching your arm away from your boyfriend, or what Bill feared, ex-boyfriend.

You were a strong person and Bill knew that, you told him many times that even if it was an insecurity, you wouldn't let it be used against you or let yourself feel like shit because of it.

It had been before by previous boyfriends, and you left their asses because of it, and Bill may even now join that list.

"Don't you fucking touch me." You cursed at Bill, the boy's guilt multiplying as he saw you get rid of the tears, replacing them with anger fueled ones.

"Get the fuck out and get a new hotel room. I'm not gonna be around someone who immediately goes to that when arguing." You told Bill, your boyfriend tried to speak up but nothing came out.

"I told you about it, you even comforted me about it." You scoffed, staring through him as Bill frowned.

"(Name), I'm sorry." Bill apologized once more, trying to step closer to you but stopped when you turned on your heel and walked to the door.

"Get your shit and you better be gone when I get back. I'm not crying over your ass."

Bill watched the door open, hearing it slam against the frame and your footsteps leaving down the hall.

Bill stood in his place, cursing at himself for his own stupidity and trying to find a way to fix this but came up empty.

The only thing Bill could do now was sink down into the seat by the bed, looking around at tour abandoned belongings mixed in with his.

He could only hope for a way to fix what he may have fucking ruined over his own stupidity.

[lizardboy66]

im deeply bored so here are all of my gay 911 thoughts for your entertainment.

OKAY SO

Idk about 911 being queerbait guys...i dont think it ever was. I think we have entered a new era of fanservice. Usually with queerbait, the creators and people involved in the show are quite vicious to shippers and queer fans generally, and any easter egg or "moment" feels like crumbs to keep us hooked enough.

911 acknowledged the shipping very very early. Like second half of season 2, and there has never ONCE been a joke at the expense of the concept of being gay, or about buck or eddie being queer. It was simply a nod, like "hey, we get it, you want it, thats all good."

Its not 2010 anymore, gay people are accepted and visible in a way that has never been a reality in the past. In fact, gay people, especially gay men, have come to be understood as a fantastic marketing tool.

This is where i get jaded and cynical, but listen the outcome is the same so stick with me here. Gay pairings and relationships = money is not a groundbreaking concept. It's why they did queerbait. But with stuff like supernatural, it seemed like a far greater risk to make the repressed men kiss than to piss of the queer fanbase. But times have changed. But since the age of queerbait, there has been a rise in gay romance content being made, and being made FOR the fangirls, boys and theys. Think Red, White and Royal Blue, or Heartstopper, or Young Royals, or Our Flag Means Death, or Good Omens. Gay isn't a risk anymore, its a marketing category with a level of guaranteed success. And not just in the global north, Boys Love content has been booming in places like Japan, Thailand, Korea for decades, but never more than now. TV companies in these places figured out very quickly that producing fluffy, comforting gay love stories earns them billions, and have not hesitated to seize this opportunity. My point being, gay dudes sell as fuck.

911 got cancelled and had to move networks. The budget is too high and they need to pull viewership and quick. I think their answer is canonise that ship! I couldn't tell you if that was there original intent, but i do believe that it would be far less lucrative to fuck over their viewer base. I could be wrong, this could be a crazy long game to make the fans trust the show, then pull the rug from under them. But i truly think we are past that point with shows like this.

911 is pure fluff! No one ever dies, if someone is hurt they recover quickly and with no complications, conflict is tame and easily resolvable, and everyone is a sickeningly good person. And the show is also about family, found family, unconventional families. I think originally, the unconventionality of the eddie, buck and chris family dynamic was that it is two men who are not together or married raising a child as coparents and friends. Which is a great story, but even better fanfiction fodder.

I think they are going to do it like the fanfiction. It's the easiest way to bridge the epistemic gap between the current cannon and the reality of both buck and eddie being queer and having feelings for each other. they could try and explain it in their own way, but the fans have already done it, and have clearly agreed on some elements of how this love story plays out, so i think that will be the route they go down. Currently my evidence is that Buck is now canonically bisexual. For some reason a lot of the ships people have have one bisexual and one gay, so the trope is being realised. My next piece of evidence is the catholic thing for eddie. This has literally never come up, its a fan invention, and its in the show now. The eddie and marisol plot line is slightly bizzare, but i think the reason for that is that it is eddie making sense of why he struggles so much to commit to the women he dates. Or its just a bad storyline and isnt very coherent. I guess we will see. My next evidence is the whole set up of Tommy. He is so clearly a way to push eddie and buck together in my opinion. From his introduction, he acts as a wedge between the two that neither of them can make sense of. Very love triangle energy. And my last evidence is all of those goddamn interviews. It seems no one can shut up about these fire fighters getting it on with each other. I feel if they weren't doing it, there would be more effort to shut down the clowning gently, as they have done previously.

In conclusion, i too am a clown. My theory has rocky foundations, a rocky middle and an equally rocky conclusion. I am so tired and delulu right now. I'm with you girlies, this is stressful.

[corvidares]

okay, so i just finished re-reading Any Way the Wind Blows and this feels so blatant as to be smacking me in the face: simon is disabled.

now, the reason why that makes itself even clearer in this book than in wayward son (where he, of course, also has the wings + tail) is because simon is once again in the world of mages - despite doing his best to leave it behind. compared to wayward son, where hes basically and literally in the wild west. where theres magical beings everywhere, where simon practically fits in because he is one.

but ill get back to that.

ive seen a lot of really interesting points about what simon's wings represent and mean, and i'm not disagreeing with those. but in a very literal sense, they are a disability.

think about it like this: the world of mages (and Normals) is not built for humanoids who have giant webbed wings and a tail. simon constantly struggles with controlling these limbs, and their size makes it ten times harder. spaces are too small, furniture and objects are broken when he spreads them, and many a shirt or jacket are ruined.

he struggles to find a good way to deal with this - spell them away? wear them out by cutting holes in things? fold them extremely painfully into his shirt? even though this last one is treated like a solution for a little while, its far from ideal. who is simon doing this for? himself, or everyone around him? yes, of course Normals cant see them. and yeah, hes expressed discomfort about baz and penny spelling them hidden. but thats not the point. even with this botch job of a way to "wear" his wings, which succeeds at hiding them from Normals, simon still states a couple times that he knows people stare at him and his seeming hunchback. i mean, thats blatant.

(he eventually, with shepard's help, realizes a good way to work around this - zippers or buckles on shirtbacks - which very much feels like an aha! disability aid moment)

im not saying disability is based in how people look at you, or it only being a societal thing. (as in, when he wasnt in the world of mages, he wasnt suddenly 'not disabled at all') disability is a huge spectrum. but those things absolutely can be a part of the disabled experience.

but all of that doesnt even get to my main point: simon has no magic anymore. and in the world of mages, thats a huge deal. magic is like living and breathing, especially for baz and penny. its not something they question or have to worry about not being able to call upon. hell, even before simon lost his magic he was disabled, just to a different extent.

before awtwb, we dont hear much about mages whose magic is weak. but they come to the forefront now - which just solidifies that solid magical ability = able bodiedness.

smith is promising a miracle cure. a cure. think of it like bullshit orgs such as aut!sm spe@ks, wanting to "cure" autism - he wants to cure people. (and hes just as full of shit) why? because weak magic is seen as a disease, a problem, even subhuman.

take daphne, baz's stepmom. her quality of life is fine, great. her weaker magic doesnt seem to put her at a disadvantage. she manages her disability well. but in comparison to the norm, to what is expected of the average mage, shes got nothing. less than nothing. she feels shame over what she cant do.

smith's case becomes even more blatant when we see, at the end of awtwb, that he wants to essentially cull weak magicians. that they're holding back society. that theyre better off as powerless as Normals - who are blatantly seen as subhuman - than as weak mages. much like how ableist rhetoric puts forward that disability is a fate worse than death.

which brings us back to simon. he insists hes a Normal, now or always has been. baz insists hes the most powerful magician to exist. both of them are wrong.

and right. and right and wrong.

simon is some third thing - not a mage, not a Normal. akin to how disability is its own minority aside from race or ethnicity he has a foot in each world, and he always has. but now he cant achieve blending into either.

this is why the increasing presence and humanization of other magical beings beside mages is so important (thank you shephard!) how mages tend to seem magical beings is very ableist. theyre subhuman, theyre not to be trusted, theyre freaks, theyre dirty, etc. except oops, how can you keep thinking that penny, when this very nice one works at a cafe and helped you translate shephard's engagement terms?

even baz and the events of wayward son play into this - yeah, some vampires are horrible people. but plenty, like baz, are just people. with a range of experiences and morals and ways of living life. (take nicodemus) (i could make a point about how simon's stalwart acceptance of baz's vampirism helps baz comes to terms with it and how this is also super disability coded, but thats another essay)

in the beginning of awtwb, he decides to go to the extreme opposite of his chosen one powered life - to live as a Normal, and the second step (after cutting himself off from baz and penny) is getting his wings removed.

except he cant do it. and even having his wings touched is horribly uncomfortable. now, this partly has to do with how much theyre sensual parts of his body - same as his tail. but its also, separately, very intimate. theyre treated very clinically, like a fascinating specimen to pore over. im not trying to give niamh shit here, just saying what i saw.

but theyre part of him. people with disabilities often deal with being stared at and poked and prodded by the medical field (if theyre not ignored or waved off. maybe both.). even every day folks feel the right to touch disabled folks, or their mobility aids.

for a lot of people, mobility aids are a part of them - its like a stranger touching your face and thinking theyre doing you a favor. when instead theyre being weird as fuck.

simon's status as previous chosen one even plays into this sort of thing - people see him more as a figurehead, for what he can and cant do (including his wings!) than a person. hes a tragedy, hes a hero. hes inspirational, hes to be pitied. sound familiar?

the end of awtwb doesnt spell out whether simon ends up deciding to keep his wings (frustratingly). but they spell out that he would absolutely would, in my opinion.

simon increasingly treats them as a natural extension of his body. think of the scene where he flies about the watford goats. how he expresses his feelings with his wings and tail. and of course, how he learns to let baz loves each and every part of him: including his dragon limbs.

baz loves him, and loves them, not in a fetishistic way, but because its simon, and he loves everything simon is. not just what he represents or can or cant do.

[suffarustuffaru]

What do you think would’ve happened if Heinkel had been the one to fall into a coma instead of Louanna? I just think the potential of that is very juicy because like that completely changes the Astrea family dynamics!

oh i ADORE this idea so much!!! arghhh i love astrea family dynamics so much and i really really like each member - though of course i hope we learn more about louanna soon!!! im so curious about her and everyone in the family BUT her is at least decently fleshed out already!! but yes okay this idea is great and also Everyone in these reddit threads have brainstormed all kinds of ideas for Other Astrea Members Falling Comatose (heinkel, reinhard, theresia, or wilhelm) far far better than i could so if anyone seeing this hasnt seen those i highly recommend reading!! super fun ideas going on <3

but yeah my quick two cents on heinkel specifically going comatose is that, like people have mentioned in those threads that stuff would happen differently. marcos doesnt rejoin the royal guard, reinhard probably doesnt get the dp of mind changing, wilhelm might die to the whale instead since heinkel isnt around to get sent on a suicide mission and wilhelm Would Not Back Down from that, etc etc. or did theresia get sent to kill the whale right away while wilhelm like in canon went to deal with the royal family?? that sort of thing.

i think ultimately we dont 100% know what would happen on the louanna side of things just because. we dont know anything about how she was as a person hah so hard to predict!! but i think things would probablyy turn out a little better given everything i just mentioned. and also the bar for how canon went is super low anyway aljsdfl. but yeah i mean louanna seems like she might cope a little better (i mean. shes Probablyy not the type to fall into alcoholism right haha). or she might Also Cope Badly, depending on how you wanna interpret this. and depending on how louanna turns out to be as a person. and Someone is still gonna die to the whale probably. so things are Not That Great and also heinkel being comatose means he wont be head of the house. louanna in this situation either way would need to take charge - both in the sense that uh, in the end it'll just be her and one of reinhard's grandparents left around, and also in the sense that she is reinhards only parent left now. and also reinhard Might get a bit more pressure to hurry into the royal guard sooner. he'll get compared to his comatose MIA dad im sure :(( esp since heinkel is. frozen in time.

theres Always something chilling about how in canon, long term sleeping beauty syndrome victims are just. Stuck. in time. forever frozen. never aging a single day from the moment they were gone. thats Haunting. thats like living with a ghost thats still there. and in this au itd be heinkel!! heinkel whos still at his prime and hasnt truly had a permanent failure yet (losing his mom to the whale, losing louanna to a coma, etc etc), and of course like canon heinkel, louannas left to pick up the pieces which is always really sad to me :(( she and heinkel were young too when all of this started to go wrong T^T like Still Adults, of course, but still young!! like shes 21 and hes 22 T^TT wild stuff.

also i do agree with people who said that louanna might just wack reinhard over the head for kidnapping felt like that. 1000%.

anyway!!! astrea family drama still goes Wrong i think somehow, in another font, if heinkel or anyone else is the one that gets put into a coma :(( it might be better or worse depending on what happens!! and depending on who gets comatose and who Dies!! but yes i think everything goes a bit wrong either way :(( they can never win T^T but itd shift dynamics around every time which is the fun part!!

[drdemonprince]

I feel like you've answered a question on this before, so sorry if my search skillz failed me. how do you keep a playful attitude when trying new things? I started a book on wu-wei/'trying not to try' that has made me feel a bit hopeless so far, as I know that approaching things more casually/playfully will help it feel less painful (social situations, job search, dating, etc), but apparently you can't consciously try to be playful?!

Hmmmm this is a tricky question to answer, because it is far easier to describe what the end state feels like than to explain how I got there. But I will try!

I think if you're someone who tends to be quite skeptical and cynical about things, your first instinct during difficult situations might be to turn that skepticism toward yourself. You watch yourself trying to complete the new activity, or talk to the unfamiliar person, and all you can see is the flaws, and you tell yourself, "yeah, nice try bozo, you're never going to be good enough at this / it's never going to be worth it" and what do you know, you are crestfallen and unmotivated. And now that you're judging yourself and feeling shitty, it's even more difficult to complete the task.

but, in my experience in graduate school, developing as a creative writer, and just fumbling my way through social mores, there comes a time when you stop turning that skepticism on yourself all the time, and instead direct it outward, and begin to notice just how fucking confused and fucked up everybody else's attempts are. and if you're lucky, you might even notice other people's foibles and missteps with a sense of affection, rather than cruelty.

the more you step outside of yourself and observe others, the more you notice all the awkward things people say, the strange moments of crossed wires and missed signals, the jokes that fall flat, and just how much people really do not care about all of that so long as you keep engaged and keep your energy open and keep trying.

i have never seen a neurotypical socialize flawlessly. they say rude weird ass things and bump into other people all the fucking time! but they just keep going. often they don't even realize they've done anything wrong. and maybe they haven't even done anything wrong really. perfection isn't really what is expected. the energy is what matters more than the execution, and so if they move around with an open, receptive quality to themselves, and keep learning, they can get by being a little awkward or confused just fine.

and once you recognize how much people are fucking up all the time and that it doesnt really matter, and nobody really cares, for me it gets a lot easier to saunter around being my own level of messy and loose too. i used to judge how inept and oblivious everybody was -- at work, in school, during the hangout, on the train. and at some point i realized it was actually beautiful and something i could feel affectionate about.

it turns out you do not need to worry about everyone behind you in line at the grocery store hating you for taking too long putting your change away. AND you dont have to be mad at the guy in front of you who takes five minutes to put his change away either. because YOU are HIM and HE is YOU and we all suck and that's great.

it's fucking funny how silly and sloppy and dazed a lot of people really are. everybody fucks up constantly and is fucking weird. so who cares! i dont need to evacuate the space because i forgot myself and started picking my nose in public for a second. i can just rub my hand on my pant leg and move on. i dont need to give up going to the comic book club because me and one other guy there got into a small argument. i can come back the next month and make a joke about it with him. that's just normal messy human stuff.

the writer david cain talks about coping with social anxiety by imagining other human beings as kittens that have been dumped out from a basket into the room. they roam around, falling over themselves, exploring and sniffing and doing kitteny things, and none of them are a threat to you ever, and their actions dont mean all that much and certainly aren't all that menacing, they're just silly little animals fumbling around.

and i like to think of humans that way. we goof off, we devote an entire supposedly very serious work meeting to discussing something only tangentially relevant but far more emotionally compelling, we make up all kinds of games to play and weird rules for those games, and then we break the rules of those games and forget them. none of this shit is like, real. and the people who recognize what a goofy joke it is are often the most powerful.

not taking anything too seriously makes me feel powerful. im cynical and skeptical about everything that i get told is an airtight social or procedural rule, and i experiment around the boundaries of it, to see where it bends. but whereas i used to do that in a very bitter and entitled way, trying to find my way "out" of a system I had disdain for, now i can sometimes play with these boundaries and laugh at myself for tripping over them at times and just keep on moving, because that's what everybody does.

[olreid]

'the secret good neverafter that lives in my head' lol i take it you're not enjoying the season? curious to hear why if you feel like sharing

hmm idk that i would say im not enjoying it but yeah i think for me it's just not really like. a successful horror story at least so far. under a cut for length lol

i think the first thing watching neverafter has helped me discover is that i dont think characters in a horror story can know that they are in a horror story, at least initially. OR if they do, they have to be the only person who knows it and no one else can agree with or believe them. for me at least, such a huge element of resonant horror is the split between what the world insists it is and what it actually is, between what you are promised in life and what you actually receive. you have to be being told that the world is logical, good, that there is a way for you to win at life or beat the game or escape the prison, and you have to genuinely believe that, at least at first. so i wish neverafter hadn't started with the premise of 'the world has gotten noticeably Bad and you all noticed it and everyone agrees that this is the case even if they dont know how to fix it.' i wish they had played it straight, starting in the happily ever after of fairy tales and had the characters slowly realizing that actually they're not happy even though they're supposed to be, and having to break out of prisons that don't look like prisons and fight through a world that insists it is helping them at every step even as it constrains and warps them. and i know that's partially at odds with needing to appropriately warn viewers about what they're getting into, but i still think even if they had billed this season as a horror season and started out the first episode with Everything Is Great, that would have been excellent because i would have been just WAITING in agony for the other shoe to drop.

and then i think my other issue besides the framing has more to do with the general format of d20, which i don't think lends itself to horror for several reasons, firstly the at this point predictable shape of a main cast season. again i think a lot of the power of horror comes from unpredictability; you know something bad is going to happen in a horror story, but you don't know exactly when or what shape it will be. the wind gets kind of taken out of the sails if you know that it's going to be an every-other-episode combat situation. i appreciate that brennan's trying to add some new stuff in - red tokens, one shot kills, etc - but i don't think it's enough and even the twist of the tpk alreadys feel like it's been almost fully explained in-world to the point that we now understand how combat works in this setting. again that goes along with the format -- the players have to be able to understand the game in order to play it and be able to effectively help tell the story. but it means that things are pretty predictable, and when you've watched a bunch of d20 seasons you develop an eye for what the next fight will look like and what the overall arc of a season will be. there is of course still room for me to be surprised or proven wrong here! but my hopes are not high.

the other issue is that d20 is first and foremost a comedy. and it's not that i think horror can't be funny, but i think that largely the comedy has to come from audience interpretation -- horror needs to take itself seriously to succeed, at least for me. i think of the 'it's remarkably easy to buy an ax in central london' line from tma -- timeless and hilarious but jon is completely sincere when he says it and jonny's delivery is similarly sincere; he plays it straight, and so we get both the horror of that moment -- jon having been driven to a point where he feels the need to arm himself, which seems a pitiful gesture in the face of the forces at work on him -- and the humor, which comes when we distance ourselves a bit from the text and can appreciate that line out of context. neverafter, on the other hand, as a comedy show, is full of jokes and bits which not only contrast somewhat bizarrely with the more serious horror moments but also serve to lower the stakes of the entire project, as nearly every joke creates distance between player and character, reminding us as the audience that they are just that -- characters, not real people, in a made-up world. for example, in the spider fight where lou is calling the spiders who are attacking him Ladies as he fails to fight them off, it succeeds as a joke -- it did make me laugh -- but fails as horror because if someone was truly prone glued to a spider web with spiders crawling onto their body, i highly doubt they would be joking about it, so it takes me out of the scene and makes the world less real to me. in the other direction, the fact that it's a comedy also primes the players to take what brennan says as comedy first and horror second, eg the mouse in cinderella's old house who is saying something genuinely horrifying about not being in control of his body or actions as the entire table struggles not to break because the voice is funny or whatever. and so i feel like the two main goals of the season are at cross-purposes, because nearly all of the successful comedy makes it feel like less of a horror story, and makes the characters feel less real.

and having said all that it's not that i don't think the d20 table is capable of doing horror well, because i honestly think they already have done so with a crown of candy. acoc doesn't suffer from any of the issues ive outlined above; characters were killed in roleplay episodes to the point that you felt something terrible could happen at any time; the season took itself seriously, perhaps because the premise itself is so inherently comedic that they decided that to seriously embody a character who is a loaf of bread named senator ciabatta is funnier than making a gag out of it. whatever the reason, the stakes of the world are incredibly high -- we know this was also partially because it was a low-magic, high lethality season where brennan put limits on the party's healing abilities and removed most of the plot armor that protected characters in other fantasy seasons. and crucially, the characters did not begin the story thinking that the world was terrible. they were all members of the royal house of rocks, and heavily invested in their world moving according to logical rules and patterns; so much of the horror and tragedy of the season comes with the dawning realization on the part of the characters that the rules they thought would protect them -- those of diplomacy and morality and cause and effect -- don't actually prevent harm, death, grief, or suffering.

similarly, fantasy high sophomore year succeeds at horror, largely because the horror is dream and mirror-based so there is a sense of pervasive unsafety and a feeling that characters cannot even doze off without making themselves vulnerable to possession or violation. so it's not that i think d20 couldn't ever do horror successfully, which would almost be better -- they have done it and i have watched them do it but theyre not doing it now for whatever reason and that is disappointing. i was promised horror!! i want horror!!!

hopefully i don't need to say that this is just one guy's opinion on why it hasn't gripped me -- i know it's working for others because the tag is always full of people posting about how they couldnt sleep after the episode or whatever and truly good for them. but that is not my journey

[autisticbisexualemaskye]

OH also as u can tell i finished mythic quest. season three was... dissapointing. brad and his gaggle of autistic women were great as always and Sarian was an AMAZING episode, 10/10, no notes, but the season overall? ian was MIA and poppy just... didnt really work without him. dont get me wrong i love her and she has great dynamics with the rest of the cast but overall grimpop was a HUGE missed opportunity and making dana ian 2.0 was a poor choice. dont get me wrong, i was rooting for them to team up in season two, but thats because i thought ian could give her what she wanted, not because shes identical to ian. shes certainly not so up her own ass that she thinks "confidence" and "total disconnect from reality" are the same thing. ian? definitely. rachel? unconsciously. but dana? no fucking way. she never felt like she had a unique place in the grimpop team. minimizing the scenes with her and rachel i would have actually loved to see if it helped give both of them more depth and solo development since their romantic relationship was built up as their main character arcs from the start, but dana just took away from ian and poppy's dynamic and didnt get any development of her own until basically the very end.

now, dont get me wrong, AGAIN, it makes a lot of sense that ian doesnt want to work on poppy's game. hes egotistical and unmotivated and childish and self centred. but they seriously waited until the season fucking finale to work that out? a conflict between the two main characters that has one of them just... absent from the narrative? conflict is the core of poppy and ians relationship but if they don't have any scenes together the conflict becomes BORING. and they had the perfect opportunity to work it out! when hera failed. when the playtesters told her it was technically perfect, but not fun to play. ian makes fun games. ian is really good at making fun games. theyre supposed to be partners. why couldnt he have helped her with this? why couldnt this have been the moment where she realizes that, just like ian, she needs help creating her vision? that even though she can build things and have big ideas, she cant do everything all on her own all the time? instead she and dana throw her vision away to focus on a project she hates and thinks is bad. its total fucking bullshit and a complete waste of an arc.

which, as a side note, i still dont totally understand the difference between hera and playpen. theyre both sandbox games, yes? where the point is to build something yourself, entirely from scratch? so what makes playpen fun and hera not? is playpen more customisable, is it easier to control? is hera too difficult, is it not difficult enough, is it too bare or too micromanaged? this feels like something we couldve gone into instead of just tossing hera out. there are tons of games like that out there already. minecraft, the sims (all FOUR installments, plus simcity), cites:skylines, roblox, all of them extremely popular and extremely fun. why not hera? again, a question the narrative gets out of answering by throwing the game out.

and FINALLY when the grimpop dispute does get solved, their solution is "you be who you are, and ill be who i am, and neither of us changes or improves or alters our dynamic in any way"? what a FUCKING cop out. the previous seasons, so far, have ended with poppy and ian trying to mend their dynamic into something more stable and mutually beneficial, where both people (poppy, mainly, but having it be her game this time SHOULD have been an interesting subversion) feel seen and heard, where neither of them feels subservient. you want to watch the next season to see how they develop and how their dynamic shifts. but in the season 3 finale they just straight up tell you, in the show, that they're done trying to change, and then they abandon their partnership and go back to work at mythic quest. season 3 was such a wasted season in terms of the grimpop dynamic, and neither of them develop any kind of compelling relationship with the other characters either. the closest we get is dana, who, again, is turned into ian 2.0 because apparently they couldnt develop her existing character any further or use the actual ian grimm in any of her scenes with poppy. again, dana and ian have similarities, but shes not ian! and she shouldnt have had to be!

ok. rant done. if u disagree u may write me a strongly worded essay in the comments or we could just have a conversation okie dokie i love u ^_^

[roxalicious]

Do you have any more yuri recs?

sure, here's a few

love thy neighbor: about 24 year old uni student pah doyeon and her 40 year old housewife neighbor jin joo. jin joo's husband left her alone as he works to pay off his debts, and it has Not been a fun few months for her, as the loan sharks after him have been terrorizing her daily. luckily, pah doyeon is there to lend a hand and shelter!

probably my biggest recommendation as of right now, so long as you don't mind the very much not healthy nature of the whole situation. this baby's got everything in it: blasphemy, cheating, milf-hunting, obsession, self-discovery through lust, and so on. pah doyeon is great. there's a lot wrong with her. she said this shit unprompted in the latest chapter

a love yet to bloom: a sweet story about takamine, who has yet to find anything in life she enjoys, and sakura, a book-loving girl she happens to meet on the train after school. it's very cute and has a nice, chill atmosphere. i always look forward to the next update

otome no teikoku: ok so. heres the thing. if you decide to pick this up the first, idk, dozen chapters will be Bad. there's a lot of male-gazey uncomfortable stuff at the beginning, and while it doesnt take too long for it to stop feeling so offputting and start being surprisingly wholesome and earnest instead, it never stops being horny, so read it if youre in the mood for that.

as for what it's actually about... well there's this all girls school, right? and it has girls in it. and they are all gay and dating each other. its basically just a collection of short chapters about different couples within this school, and it has some of my favorite dynamics and moments in yuri. i reread it very often (and there's almost 300 chapters of this thing out, so that's a feat) and it never stops being enjoyable. stan nononon/yumimi

a monster wants to eat me: about hinako, who lost her whole family to the sea in a tragic accident and now yearns to join them in the afterlife, and shiori, a mermaid claiming she's here to eat her. the problem is, hinako being actively suicidal and depressed means her flesh won't exactly be very tasty, and shiori is a bit of a gourmet, meaning her goal is to first help her recover and regain her joie de vivre, and only then will she eat her. i highly recommend this

out of the blue!: transfer honor student x delinquent yuri. it's very short so i dont wanna yap about it too much, but it's a big big personal fave. it's only 4 chapters so check it out

sougou tovarisch: honestly anything by arata iri never fails to get at least one laugh out of me, but this one especially. if you know a kiss and a white lily by canno (and if you don't, go check it out), the premise to this one is a bit similar to the dynamic between ayaka and yurine, with hardworking MC obsessed with being number one and chill love interest who beats her without even meaning to.

the focus here is less on romance and more on comedy, and i love it. kanna is amazing. she wins a chess match by punching her opponent so hard she passes out. its only 13 chapters + assorted extras, very fun easy read

now some stuff that doesnt really have yuri as focus but ive really enjoyed regardless and want to shout out and this is my blog so whatever

liar satsuki can see death: satsuki can see dead people. specifically, she can see the future corpses of people up to 24 hours before they actually die. she always zealously warns the future victims of the imminent danger, and she has been branded a weirdo and a liar for it as no one has ever actually died before. in truth, she is actually literally incapable of lying, and the only reason everyone survived so far is that she will go to frankly insane lengths to save them. she's a great protagonist and her autistic swag has captivated me and many others

mieruko-chan: miko can see... Things. that no one else can. but she has to pretend she cant, especially to the Things themselves. she doesnt know exactly what will happen if they realize she can see them, but she's certainly not about to find out.

this started as a twitter short that quickly gained popularity, so the premise of many early chapters is basically "miko sees something terrifying and has to ignore it, hilarity ensues", but the initially one-off characters introduced over time are eventually explored and given quite a lot of spotlight and im having a lot of fun with it. stan michiru

there's always more but here's what ive got so far- wait. read shuukura. ive talked about it before it's in my pinned please read shuukura i love those weirdos to an insane degree