#and dorian purposely keeping a distance to protect both their feelings would make sense with that

[acebabecd]

My personal headcanon is that Dorian and Orym got closer between EXU and C3 and seriously discussed having a relationship, but agreed to pause on it until the Zephra mission was over, then the universe decided to throw a bunch of other stuff at them in the meantime

[sassyhobbits]

Guess I lied “Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.” someone from the Cadre telling this to Fen and him breaking apart and crying and dying I want him to suffer

had to so this one. always happy to write about my boy fen!!! luv him

heres day 4!!!

~~~

“Are you sure you want to make that move?”

“Yes. No. Fuck. What’s wrong with this move?”

“Why the hell would I tell you? I’m trying to win.”

Aelin laughed at the stormy look on Fenrys’ face as his dark gaze studied the chess board before them intently. She knew he was determined to beat her for once. She had been on a winning streak lately.

Aelin settled in her seat before the fire, studying the board before them. It was a beautiful set, something she had bought Rowan for Yulemas the year before. Her husband loved the game, but loathed buying anything for himself. She knew he was pleased to have such a nice set, though he tried to play it casual. They played together at least one night a week. Rowan was terribly good at the game. Three hundred years of practice of both chess and military strategy had made him a truly formidable opponent. Aelin had yet to beat him, though she had been getting better.

Fenrys, however, she beat over half the time. Learning from Rowan had given her an edge.

The male across from her finally picked up a knight and moved it, capturing one of Aelin’s pawns that had been protecting her king. She raised a brow at him. “Really, Fenrys?”

“What? You were too well defended.”

Aelin tutted and shook her head. “Short-sighted once again, my friend.” She reached out and moved her queen on it diagonal, placing it down firmly and smirking at Fenrys. “Check mate.”

A slew of terribly, dirty curses streamed from Fenrys’ mouth as he knocked over his king. He shook his head, studying the board. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“I’ve always been good at keeping my schemes to myself,” Aelin shrugged. “That’s all chess is, anyway. Schemes.”

He cursed once more. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

Fenrys sighed, accepting his defeat, reaching over to the bottle of wine they had been working through and topping off both of their glasses.

Aelin enjoyed having her friend so close. Aedion, Lysandra, Elide and Lorcan visited Orynth when they could, though they were busy running their own territories. Dorian and Chaol were in Adarlan, Manon rebuilding the Witch Kingdom. Even Fenrys had been traveling until recently. She had truly missed her companion.

They spoke and joked between one another for a few more moments before the door to the parlor opened. Aelin recognized her mate’s scent without needing to look back, even beneath all the sweat.

She sensed his presence as he stopped by where she sat, tilting her head up and smiling at him. His silver hair was in disarray from training with the guards that evening, but his green eyes were bright as he looked to her and then to the board.

Her husband studied it with a general’s intent for a few moments before a smile curled on his lips, looking towards Aelin with pride glimmering in his eyes. Good job, Fireheart, he seemed to say before pressing a lingering kiss to her temple.

Aelin’s nose crinkled at the smell of him. “You, husband mine, are in desperate need of a bath.”

“I agree,” Fenrys added. “My eyes are watering.”

Rowan looked to him dryly, though it held no venom at the younger male’s teasing.

Aelin began asking him about how the training had gone. They had a recent surge of new recruits and though many of them had potential, they were rough around the edges. Aelin knew that if anyone could whip them into shape, it would be Rowan.

Aelin fell into the lull of conversation, and it wasn’t until a while later that she noted a strange quietness coming from across from her. Fenrys wasn’t one to hold his tongue for an extended period of time. She glanced away from Rowan, looking towards the male across from her. Fenrys’ face was somber, staring hard into the fire that made his dark skin glow. His brows were pinched together, lips pressed tight, eyes glazed. Somewhere far away.

Rowan followed her gaze, ceasing his report to study his comrade.

It took a few moments for Fenrys to recognize the sudden silence, blinking away the haunted look in his eyes before glancing towards the king and queen before him, as if he could feel their gazes.

Something in Aelin’s chest clenched. She knew what the look meant, had worn it herself plenty of times. Her head tilted to the side before asking softly, “Where did you go, my friend?”

The smile that slashed Fenrys’ face came just a fraction of a moment too late, confirming that whatever he had been remembering had shaken him more than he could admit.

“I’m just tired. Losing to you takes more energy than you would think,” Fenrys sighed, trying to muster some bravado into his voice, though Aelin saw right through it. “I think I’ll head off to bed.”

Aelin watched her friend warily as he pushed to his feet, nodding a brief farewell before heading towards the door. She glanced up at her husband, seeing a familiar look of concern on his handsome face. It was evident that the White Wolf of Doranelle was not alright.

…

Once Fenrys deemed himself an appropriate distance from where the king and queen sat in the parlor, he allowed himself to let go. His shoulders curved in, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he rested his back against a cool stone wall and hung his head in his hands.

Everything had been going well. He had spent the day assisting his queen with her duties while Rowan worked with the guards. He was fine through dinner, through their game of chess. Maybe it was because he had kept himself thoroughly distracted but… when he had let his mind quiet, even for a moment, he had felt himself drift away.

One moment he was laughing and teasing with Aelin, a smile lighting the queen’s face. The next, he heard echoes of her screams of agony, flashes of Cairn carving her up bit by bit while he had to sit aside and do nothing. Once he started, he couldn’t stop, spiraling down into the darkest part of his memories: Aelin sobbing in that iron coffin, the sight of Connall spilling his own blood, the feel of Maeve’s cold, pale hands on his body.

It happened from time to time. The memories getting the better of him. He always tried to play it off to the best of his abilities, making himself flash an easy smile to hide the vulnerability. He knew that the others suffered from similar afflictions, knew his queen was still haunted by nightmares. There were nights when he would wake to a knock on his door only to find Aelin standing on the other side, eyes hollow in a way Fenrys recognized. Sometimes she would talk about it, others she would just sit silently in his presence. The only person who truly had an inkling of what she had suffered for those two months. He knew Rowan still feared losing his mate, still saw the flash of panic in his eyes when he couldn’t find her in the sprawling palace, even though she was always safe and content. It was just… difficult to shake off those feelings.

And yet… Fenrys never wanted to burden his already burdened friends with his own troubles. He knew they would protest that description. Burden. They wouldn’t feel that way about it but… he did.

Fenrys was lost in his thoughts, all of them dark and swirling like a storm through his head. It distracted him enough that he hadn’t noticed anyone approaching until the purposeful scuff of a boot over stone caught his attention.

Fenrys raised his head, finding Rowan standing before him, green eyes studying him carefully. He stood straighter, forcing a wobbly smile to his lips.

“You miss me already?” Fenrys said, though his voice betrayed him, crackling towards the end.

Rowan’s expression turned sympathetic, a look Fenrys had never seen on his commander’s face until he had met Aelin. He stood a step closer.

“You doing alright there, pup?”

Fenrys shrugged, still trying to hold on to some semblance of nonchalance. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

Rowan didn’t press him right away, sliding his hands into the pockets of his dirty trousers. “Your quick departure made my wife quite worried about you.”

“Aelin has enough on her plate. She doesn’t need to worry about me too.”

“I’m worried about you as well, Fenrys.”

Fenrys blinked, sure he had heard the king consort incorrectly. Rowan had certainly warmed up since he fell in love with Aelin, but he was still rather stoic most of the time. He saved most of his compassion for the woman he loved. Rowan wasn’t cruel to Fenrys, he never had been. Though he was a massive bastard and a pain in his ass once upon a time but… he had never reached out like this.

It seemed that Rowan took his stunned silence as a cue to continue.

“You try to hide it, but I can see it in your eyes. The pain.” Rowan’s jaw clenched ever so slightly. “I did the same thing for years.”

“Yeah, but you took it out on the rest of us poor soul.”

Rowan gave a dry chuckle. “That I did. But you know what helped me heal?”

“Bedding your stunning wife?”

Rowan smacked him softly on the side of the head. Rightly deserved, Fenrys knew. He was being immature.

“I’m serious, boyo,” Rowan said lowly. “I didn’t start coming out of that darkness until I started opening up. Talking. Confiding in people who knew what I felt and what I had gone through.”

Fenrys rubbed at his eyes before rasping, “I don’t know where to start. I don’t want to burden you. Burden Aelin.”

“Aelin loves you,” Rowan said plainly. “She would never feel burdened if you reached out to her. You’re her friend. You’re my friend too, Fen. We’re always going to be here for you.”

Fenrys nodded, not trusting that his voice wouldn’t fail him. He was grateful for the friends, family, and support he had found in the recent years. This life that he had now… he wouldn’t give it up for anything.

He was silent for a few more moments, simply looking down at his boots and trying to banish the lump clogged in his throat. Rowan, the perceptive bastard, simply cocked his head to the side and met his gaze.

“Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.”

It was with those words that Fenrys broke. The tears began falling freely down his cheeks, blurring his vision.

“There are moments where I forget where I am,” Fenrys confessed. “When I get so lost in the worst of the memories that I fear there’s no way out. I don’t know how to escape, how to be free of it. At times, I feel like I’m drowning.”

Fenrys didn’t bother to try and smother the tears, the shaking breaths he took. He knew Rowan was right. Holding everything in certainly didn’t help. He wasn’t sure if crying in the halls of Orynth would do much either but-

His train of thought was brought to an abrupt halt when he felt arms wrapped around him. Fenrys blinked once, sure he was hallucinating. But no. It was real. Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius was actually hugging him.

He was frozen for a moment, unsure of how to respond. Some older part of him hissed that it was a trick, that the moment he let his guard down Rowan would put him in a headlock as part of a training exercise. But, Fenrys also knew that the cold and calculating commander of his past was no more.

Slowly, Fenrys reached up and returned the embrace.

For a few moments, neither of them said anything, until Fenrys whispered, “Thank you, brother.”

Another few heartbeats passed before Fenrys felt another pair of arms wrap around his torso from behind, the scent of jasmine and ashes tickling his nose. Aelin.

“You were snooping that entire time, weren’t you?” Fenrys asked with a tiny laugh.

“Of course I was,” the queen mumbled against his back. “How else am I supposed to stay three steps ahead of everyone if I don’t snoop?”

Fenrys chuckled lightly, already feeling lighter than he had before. He was a lucky bastard to have such friendship and support in his life. And, although he was still healing, he knew they were as well.

They would find the path to the light. Together.

[masquerade-story]

Chapter 1 - Moving In

"Whose dumb idea was it to go camping like this anyway?" Grey grumbled, smacking away a tree branch that seemed determined to get friendly with his face.

Walking behind him, his twin sister Lillian rolled her eyes and poked the small of her brother's back. "Yours. It was your idea."

"Oh please Crystal! Please oh please might we go live at the haunted house in the woods where we'll certainly perish! I, Dorian Grey Duvall, swear on my sister's honor to let you protect me!" Rayne fluttered her eyelashes, lowering her voice to sound more like Dorian. She yanked the handcart she was dragging over a set of roots, careful to steady its contents before resuming her walk.

"Has to swear on my honor cuz he doesn't have any of his own left after the last time," Lillian snickered, while Grey pointedly ignored their teasing and continued clearing the overgrown path.

Bringing up the rear with a digital camera trained on everyone's back, Crystal grinned and panned the camera to take in the large, dense trees, and huge, leafy bushes. "For a haunted forest, it's actually pretty nice here. Ah, more meadow rue! Specifically thalictrum rochebrunianum, neat."

"Gesundheit," Rayne said, eliciting giggles from the group.

"The lacy one over there with the purple flowers," Crystal clarified. "There's some rue anemone and meadow rue 'splendide' around here too. Don't touch the white flowery plant up ahead by the way, it's giant hogweed. The leaves and sap can give you phytophotodermatitis, making you blister up in the sun."

"Bro, how do you remember any of this? And as for you, you're a scary bitch," Grey cringed away from the plant in question while swearing at it, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at its pretty little flower clusters.

"I read a lot."

"Me too, doesn't mean I absorb any of it! I spent like six hours on Wikipedia the other day, don't even fully remember what I looked up."

"Was it about The Hobbit or Merlin? Cuz that's all you ever look up."

"Look, Lils. I know I'm walking in the front and all, but you don't need to stab me in the back like that. Also sometimes it's Pacific Rim, thank you very much."

"Was it Pacific Rim?"

"No it was The Hobbit."

The group talking and laughing were the self-proclaimed 'Fairy Rock' band Aos Sí Echtrae. Each of them wore a hiking backpack containing personal items, while Rayne also tugged along a sturdy handcart holding supplies and instruments with ease - a drum kit, harp, bouzouki, and keyboard piled up alongside some smaller instruments and the camping stuff Crystal insisted they bring along.

Though their banter was light-hearted and comfortable, they took their excursion very seriously. After all, they'd temporarily rented a locally infamous haunted house to use for a music video! It was a large investment, but they'd become popular online and had enough supporters that they were able to fulfill one of their member's dearest dreams.

Dorian Duvall, or Grey as he preferred to be called by friends, and his twin sister Lillian Duvall played bouzouki and keyboard respectively. Both had the same willowy stature, button nose and almond eye shape, but despite their similarities they both gave off very different impressions. Where Lillian looked soft and gentle, with large doe-like green eyes, and a kind smile, Grey had a mischievous glint in his hazel eyes and a roguish grin that he utilized with careless abandon. Lillian wore her sleek black hair long and loose, falling down past her waist and kept away from her face by a cloth headband, while Grey wore his hair in a high ponytail decorated with small braids.

As the one who absolutely loved haunted houses and anything spooky, it was Grey's idea to film on location for their new Halloween-themed album, Masquerade. Though it was the middle of July, they were hoping to get everything ready for an September promotional release before the album dropped in October, and so hurriedly set up for their video shoot in order to give themselves plenty of time for editing.

All four of them worked together to compose their music, write lyrics, and design stage costumes as well as fan merchandise. They also lacked anything resembling a lead vocalist, taking turns depending on what sound worked best with each song, and preferring harmonies rather than solos.

"Ray! There's a log up here!" Grey called out suddenly, kicking the fallen tree blocking their path. Rayne grunted acknowledgment, and shuffled around Lillian to help move the obstruction.

Rayne Rose played the drums, and also did a majority of the heavy lifting due to being the strongest person present in any room that didn't involve professional weightlifters. Her muscular arms were covered with watercolor flower tattoos, which she proudly showed off by refusing to wear any shirt with sleeves. Her curly hair, dyed a gradient of aqua blue and purple, was cropped close to her face for summertime weather. The short style purposefully revealed ear gauges and more than a dozen total ear piercings, matching the many piercings on her brows, lips, and nose.

The twins had fresh yet roguish charms, while Rayne had a more heroic air with heavy brows and an intense black gaze over lips naturally curved into an amused smirk. She dusted off her hands after tossing the log aside with little effort, while Grey panted for breath from the exertion of merely helping her lift it. Crystal, for her part, made sure to get the whole thing on video for future blackmail purposes.

Crystal Rose, Rayne's older sister, played the harp. Unlike her athletic and statuesque sister, Crystal was on the soft and plump side. Her long, wavy blonde hair was pulled back into a messy twist to keep it off her neck, the ends still pink from the last time she dyed it. Her face was round and childish, with bluish gray eyes above an upturned nose and broad cheekbones, unremarkable features made more charming by her innate overwhelming charisma and natural exuberance.

She was the kind of person that random strangers would strike up a conversation with, lost kids would try to hold her hand, wild animals would approach like an old friend, and when she raised her voice even the most crowded room would quiet down. She was also the kind of person who got carded when buying alcohol despite being thirty years of age, due to what Grey dubbed 'Acute Babyface Syndrome'.

"Anyone need to clean their glasses?" Crystal asked, pulling a cloth from her pocket to swipe hers clean. Aside from Rayne, who wore her contacts, Grey and Lillian both opted to wear glasses for the hike so they wouldn't have to worry about losing a contact forever if they tripped - a serious and ever-present concern for the slightly clumsy twins.

"I'm good!"

"Not yet, thanks."

"I'll take it," Rayne said, keeping her expression blank, and Crystal narrowed her eyes.

"If you wipe your sweaty face with the glasses cloth I'll push you into the patch of poison ivy over there."

"Ope, nevermind then."

The haunted house was a thirty minute hike from the nearest road, along a mostly uphill path that hardly anyone ever used and certainly wasn't wide or steady enough for any automobiles. By the time they reached the stone fence encircling the house's enormous overgrown yard, everyone except Rayne was ready to collapse.

"I'm gonna be so in shape after this if my binder doesn't kill me first," Grey wheezed, leaning on the stone fence and looking up at the haunted house of his dreams with a longing yet exhausted expression. It stood atop a hill in the distance, surrounded by several acres worth of mostly empty property speckled by a few large trees and scraggly bushes. Behind it was a small barn, a chicken coop that hadn't seen use in ages, and a greenhouse conspicuously lacking anything actually green. "A stone brick cottage in the middle of the woods overgrown by vines, a sagging peaked roof with exposed beams, and gaping windows whose panes are cracked like spiderwebs... Looks spooky enough! If the door doesn't creak ominously when we open it, I'm filing a complaint."

Rayne pulled the handcart into the yard, then glanced over her shoulder at Crystal, who was panning the camera up to take a wide shot of the house from just inside the fence gate. "How's it feel, Coco?"

Crystal frowned, furrowing her brows. All four of them believed in the supernatural after they all experienced several strange circumstances growing up, and Crystal had long proven to have abilities that most people would've considered fake nonsense.

She kept a dream diary after experiencing incidents where she'd dream events before they occurred, and wanted to prove to herself it wasn't a figment of her imagination. Whenever something weird happened, she was the first to alert everyone and get them away from danger before anything bad happened, and had an uncanny sense of whether people were lying.

"Hard to say. It does feel... Weird. The walk through the whole forest was fine, but as soon as I walked into the yard... The air's different."

"Really?" Grey raised his eyebrows, hopping over the fence and holding out his arms. He was the second most sensitive to any external oddities, with a particular penchant for finding rather nasty unexplained phenomena. After a few seconds he frowned as well. "No, yeah. That's a weird vibe for sure. It's like, the forest was fine and funky fresh, then you get over here and it's..."

"Musty," Crystal and Grey finished at the same time, and exchanged wry smiles.

"Could be trepidation from perceived fears," Lillian pointed out, gesturing toward the house. Though she also believed in the supernatural, Lillian also liked trying to find reasonable explanations before resorting to the occult. "The big empty windows feel eerie because people expect houses to be brighter and look more lived in, right? It's possible it's just a subconscious response to an old, dilapidated building."

"Dilapidated..." Rayne muttered, raising her eyebrows as she surveyed the house. She had a sensitivity to people's emotions and motivations, and could sometimes pick up lingering feelings from objects, but she didn't feel anything in particular coming from the building. "I don't think it looks that bad? We've lived in worse."

"It hurts me, physically, every time you and Crystal tell us about that kind of thing," Lillian sighed, patting her hand over her heart while Grey nodded next to her. "This place looks gross! It's horrible to imagine little Ray and little Coco in a place even worse than this..."

"Hey, they hired someone to clean the inside and arrange some basic furniture for us to use," Grey said. "It won't be fancy, but the interior shouldn't be too gross! And we'll sleep in the same room for safety! After all... This is the Corpse Consuming Cottage!"

"Ugh, that name..." Crystal and Rayne both cringed at the same time, while Lillian's eyebrows shot up.

"Wait, it's called what?!"

"Yup! Bad, right? But it's earned the name cuz of how many people have gone missing here. Poof! Gone without a trace! Every single person who's ever bought this place has disappeared, along with any family they brought along." Grey grinned, wiggling his fingers at his suddenly horrified twin. "I even made a spooky spreadsheet citing all my sources, aren't you proud? It's legit, this place is either hella haunted or hella cursed."

"Will we be okay!?" Lillian muttered, color draining from her cheeks.

"There's a loophole," Rayne said, and Crystal nodded.

"Yeah, we didn't buy the house. We're just renting. Supernatural stories are always big sticklers on rules, right? Chanting something three times, turning a certain way, walking a certain pattern. If buying the house is part of the problem, then renting it shouldn't be counted as the same thing because possession isn't being transferred." Crystal turned the camera to zoom in on poor Lillian's pale face, hiding her mischievous grin behind the lens. "Theoretically."

"Don't even pretend you aren't absolutely terrified too, Miss I Can't Go On The Haunted House Ride At The Amusement Park I Have A Doctor's Note," Grey scoffed.

"I don't like ghosts or wraiths or poltergeists or whatever wicked whatsits terrorize the night because I feel bad for them thanks very much, but..." Crystal glanced over at the house and frowned, furrowing her brow again. "I feel bothered but not... Threatened? Like there's something here watching but it won't hurt us."

"That's as good as a gold star to me. Let's crack this bitch open and make some lunch!" With renewed vigor, Grey fished the key from his shorts pocket and ran up the creaky old porch to the front door. "Come on in, it's nice and cool inside! Comparatively speaking, I don't think there's an air conditioner. Just fans. But it'll be clean!"

Like he'd promised, the interior was cleaner than the exterior condition belied. Furniture was sparse, but they were all fine wood antiques with a hand-polished sheen. Everyone dropped their backpacks in the foyer and stretched for a moment before getting to work.

"Water's on!" Grey called from the kitchen, where he set the tap to run. "There's dishes and cookware in here too!"

"Silverware?" Lillian called back, in the middle of helping Crystal and Rayne unload the handcart.

"Yup, as requested! I think they're all antique like the rest of everything here."

"Don't you dare break any antique dishes, Dorian Grey!"

"No promises!"

"Electricity works," Crystal said with some surprise, flicking a nearby switch after setting her harp case on the floor in the living room, alongside a towering pile of boxes holding personal things they'd had delivered via the realtor. She held her breath to listen for any crackles or pops, but the overhead light didn't give so much as a flicker. "Wires might actually be okay? That's surprising, this house is really old. Must've been recently renovated."

"Probably to try and reel in prospective buyers," Rayne said, setting down three drum cases. The rest of her kit was already unloaded, so she took a moment to glance around the living room with Crystal. "Inside looks much nicer than outside."

"We can make it look spookier with filters and editing," Crystal said, running her finger against the windowsill. When it came up without dust, she furrowed her brows. "They were real thorough cleaning this place."

"Found the terrifying cellar!" Grey's faint muffled cry echoed from somewhere in the house, followed by the sound of Lillian shouting his full name and charging off after him.

"Any cold spots?" Crystal shouted down the stairs after circling the entire bottom floor trying to find them. The cellar door was tucked into the kitchen's pantry, which was a full walk-in room rather than a little cabinet.

Since the house was so far from town, part of the rental contract involved the current real estate agent making sure the kitchen was stocked before tenants took over. All the shelves were packed full with newly purchased dry goods and spices, mostly sorted into pretty glass jars for aesthetic appeal.

"No cold spots, just some nice shelving, big old ground freezer and a wine rack! Fruit preserves and stuff but they didn't leave any complimentary wine. Zero out of ten, not recommended."

"What makes it terrifying then?"

"Big spiders."

Crystal grimaced and backed away from the cellar door, narrowly evading Lillian as she retreated up the stairs at maximum speed.

The house was surprisingly large. The ground floor had a large open kitchen with an attached breakfast room, a living room, a dining room, a sitting room, a study with empty floor-to-ceiling bookshelves alongside display cabinets, and a laundry/changing room attached to a bathroom with an enormous sunken bath large enough to be used as a hot tub.

"I would buy this house just for the tub," Lillian said, stroking the porcelain with obvious affection.

"Please don't," Grey muttered. "We're evading the horrible disappearance curse via fairy loopholes, don't you go walking into the trap face-first like that!"

"Fine, but when we leave, we're bringing the tub with us."

"Yeah sure that's completely feasible and not at all slightly insane."

The upper floor had five large bedrooms with attached changing rooms, two lavatories, and a walk-in storage closet. Rayne carried their bags into the master bedroom, then returned to the handcart to retrieve the extra supplies they brought - a couple of brand new air mattresses, blankets, boxes of instant food, tents in case the house was in worse shape than expected, a first aid kit, and little tools like scissors, binoculars, and lighters.

"This place is supposed to be super haunted and cursed, yet..." Rayne hummed to herself, patting the mattress in the master bedroom. Every bed in the house was neatly made, with clean sheets and blankets that still smelled like soap. "Won't need the air mattresses. They really worked hard to make this place nice, huh?"

Finally, the attic under the peaked roof had a few small gaps in the shingles, but otherwise lacked any signs of weathering or exposure damage. The only things occupying the space were a few cobwebs in the darkest corners. "Ugh, nothing for us to snoop through," Grey muttered, poking his head into the attic for only moment before heading back downstairs to start moving boxes from the living room into various bedrooms for later sorting.

Crystal and Rayne turned the fans on in all the rooms to start circulating air, opening windows on the shaded side of the house to catch any stray breezes, while Lillian and Grey got started on making lunch. The house which stood empty for so long soon filled with laughter, conversation, and the smell of good food.

"I just can't get over how unhaunted this haunted house is," Grey lamented, tapping a fork against his empty plate. "I've been looking and there's not so much as a suspiciously shadowed corner or creaky stair board!"

"Are you sure those disappearances were legit?" Lillian asked, gesturing for Crystal to pass the salt so she could douse her potato salad. "You checked the sources themselves, right?"

"I did! That's why it's so weird!" Grey drained the remaining water from his glass, glaring down at the ice cubes rattling at the bottom. "Other than the terrible cell reception, weak internet signal, and our gut feelings, there's really no sign of anything being weird. I was promised jumpscares!"

"You were promised no such thing," Rayne muttered around a mouthful of grilled chicken sandwich, deftly capturing some lettuce before it escaped her lips and hit the table. "The outside looks spooky enough for use in our video, we can think of this like a vacation and relax for a bit until we have to leave."

"There's a barn out back, maybe that's haunted?" Crystal suggested, but Grey shook his head.

"I already checked... It's clean as a whistle. No disturbed earth or rattling rusty tools or anything!"

"Would you feel better if one of us got possessed by a demon?"

"Maybe. It'd have to be a really good possession though, if you're not crawling on the ceiling I want a refund."

"Oh, you're paying us?"

"Hell no, a refund of my feelings. My feelings!"

"Speaking of feelings, how do you feel, Coco? Lils?" Rayne interrupted just as Grey was about to get dramatic. "That was a doozy of a hike. You guys alright?"

Both Lillian and Crystal suffered from several health problems when they were younger, and were still weaker than the average person because of it. They had to work harder to remain healthy than most people did.

Lillian, since her mouth was full, flexed her arm and gave a thumbs up to show she was feeling alright. Once her mouth was clear of food, she added: "Mostly just sore, but nothing a long bath and some music won't cure!"

"Coco?"

Crystal gave a start, realizing she'd been staring out the nearest window for awhile and tuning out the conversation. She turned back to Rayne and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, what was that?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just feel a bit woozy, I think."

"Sensing something weird?"

"Honestly? I don't know." Crystal sighed, opening a can of grape soda and pouring it into her glass. "I still feel like we're being watched. And..."

She hesitated, then shook her head. No matter how Grey tried to cajole the rest of the sentence from her, Crystal kept the rest of her thoughts to herself. If she felt they were in danger she wouldn't be so tight-lipped, so they dropped the subject and started discussing their upcoming album instead.

After lunch they moved several beds into one room, turning the master bedroom into a big slumber party area. The rest of the afternoon and early evening was spent getting video and photos of the house and its yard, trying to find the perfect angles for use during the actual performance recording.

Rayne gathered some logs for firewood after noticing a fire pit in the back with some carved stone benches surrounding it. Dinner consisted of an open flame barbecue using packaged meats they found in the fridge, and a few veggies and fruit rolled into foil packs.

"We've really gotta thank that agent lady," Grey said, reclining in his chair. "She really came through with the supplies! It's so good having a fully stocked kitchen from the start, I was worried we'd be having pancakes and instant ramen for days."

"I'll head to town tomorrow and grab more meat for the freezer in the cellar," Rayne said, chewing on a skewer of chicken. "It's got a little variety right now but I'd like to stock up so we don't have to make as many trips. You and Lils might be fine with rabbit food, but Crystal and I need that good good protein."

"We're natural carnivores," Crystal agreed.

"Is there anything else we need from the store?"

"Nah, I can't think of anything. There's like, four entire bags of toilet paper, and towels and wash cloths and soaps and detergent and even pads and stuff. Like, I know we paid for the service but the level of consideration is really impressive!"

Crystal stared into the flickering flames, watching the embers rise into the rapidly darkening sky only to flicker away among the stars. The strange feeling she'd had all day was building to a crescendo, swelling in her chest in anticipation of...

Something.

Rayne glanced over, nudging her sister in the arm. "Coco? You're out of it again."

Crystal nodded. She opened her mouth, closed it, then opened again. Seeing her strange behavior, Lillian and Grey both fell silent.

Finally, Crystal heaved a sigh and poked at the burning logs with a long stick. "Remember when we first posted the video for our band? It was uploading and we were all watching the loading bar while holding our breaths? How it felt?"

"Don't get nostalgic on me old man," Grey muttered. Though his tone was teasing, there was an affectionate smile on his face.

Lillian nodded and smiled. "It was so exciting and terrifying at the same time. Maybe nothing would happen, maybe we'd be one of many bands that never got any traction. But maybe... Maybe we'd get lucky."

"It was kind of a relief too," Rayne added, gesturing with the skewer in her hand. "Like, we did it! We made our first song, and did our first video, and were gonna show it to the world. It felt really real right then. All our hard work."

"Yeah... And remember what I said?" When they all shook their heads, Crystal chuckled and poked the fire hard enough to send a flurried shower of sparks into the air. "I said it felt like a change was coming. For better or worse, something big was about to happen."

"Right, right! We'd either succeed in our dream or fail absolutely, with no in-between. That's what you said, yeah?" Grey sighed, patting his full stomach. "I remember. Man, that was heavy. I couldn't even sleep that night, you know?"

"Is it happening again?" Lillian asked, her voice even softer than usual. "That feeling?"

"Yeah. I've felt that way all day. I thought maybe it's cuz we never did anything as big as this, renting a house and doing a whole video shoot on location, that maybe I was worried about how ambitious our idea was, but..." Crystal bit her lip, poking the fire again. She made a point of avoiding their gazes, focusing on the burning embers and crackling logs. "I think if we stay here tonight, there's no going back."

Silence reigned for a few minutes. Then, quietly, Rayne whispered: "Are we in danger?"

"It's not like that. It's just... A massive change, that feels... Overwhelming. This is bigger than the previous time."

"Bigger than chasing our dream?"

"Yeah."

Rayne reached over to grab Crystal's hand, while Grey hopped up and sprawled across Lillian's lap despite her protests. He just laughed and said, "What's that matter? No matter what happens tonight, tomorrow, or whatever! We'll get through it together like we always have. You and me, sweethearts. Us against the world!"

Crystal smiled and gently squeezed Rayne's hand. "Yeah. We'll be fine, no matter what."

Once dinner was finished, the fire fully smothered and the leftovers packed away for later, everyone did rock-paper-scissors to determine order of bathtub usage. One by one, they soaked away their worries, changed into the pajamas they brought, and crawled into one of the master bedroom's beds.

As midnight ticked over, a single shaft of light from the full moon filtered through the room's lacy curtains, illuminating their peaceful faces. The sleeping occupants remained blissfully unaware of the tendrils of fog creeping along the ground, emerging from the forest to wrap the entire house in a dome of mist.

Several hours later, as the first rays of dawn burst from the horizon, they were finally awoken by a piercing scream.

[natsukitakama]

Headcanon : Arno Victor Dorian falls in love with you

Author note : I hope you guy will enjoy it ! If you want something like this with another character please let me know (I am stuck on my house because school is closed thanks corona). 

I know I was supposed to post it on Friday, but I was « stuck » with animal crossing (which mean I play during the whole day. If someone got an apple on their island I am here) and the expectation of my exam’s result I am sorry. It’s a bit longer than I used to write I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy to write it. 

Warning : Spoiler if you didn’t finish the game + the DLC  (I might have changed the period) / The screenshot is mine feel free to use it ! Headcanon is below since it’s pretty long 

Masterlist 

Like I said on another Headcanon, Arno Victor Dorian suffered from depression because of all people he has lost. At some point back in St-Denis’ days, he thought about suicide. After all no one wanted him anymore, he doesn’t have any purpose, any friends, any lover, any parents. All lost with his memories and his regrets… and alcohol. 

In a moment of consciousness, he thought about living France so he might forgot about everything. Then, le Marquis de Sade asked him to find Condorcet’s manuscript in return he’ll give him help to leave France for Egypt. Then his last quest on France began : at this point he didn’t know this mission will help him going through a lot of his issues plus gave him a friends and someone to love. 

You on the other hand, used to work as a bookseller in St-Denis. Let’s say you were a patriot and believe France need to be save : you met Leon some months ago, he was walking around your library looking for something interesting so he could steal it. Unfortunately you found him before he stole something from you : Rather than punish him you decided to reward his curiosity and made a deal with him, he would never try to steal something from you and you let him borrow one book every week. This is how you became friends, turns out this little boy was very brave more than a lot of French’s soldier plus it gave you company (you even started to teach him history and some philosophy). You started to really love this boy : being from a wealthy family you never have the chance to socialize with other people than your family’s group of interest. So talking with this little boy was refreshing. 

His first meeting with you was particular, he and Leon knocked at your door during one night looking for answer about the design carved on the wall. Knowing you were a passionate of history and myth, Leon thought you could be helpful to them so they could keep their investigation going. To be honest Arno expected to see a man or teenager rather than you : even in the middle of the night you were absolutely breath-taken. There were something about you, your aura or the glow from your eyes but Arno was mesmerized. He couldn’t even talk properly so Leon has to introduce him. 

« Y/N this Arno my friends, we need your help »

« This couldn’t wait tomorrow ? » 

« No Y/N It couldn’t ! We’re fighting for France »

«  Alright alright Leon … Well… Monsieur ? » 

« Arno, Arno Victor Dorian Mademoiselle ? » 

« Mademoiselle, Y/N Y/LN but please call me Y/N »

« Y/N alright …. P-Please call me Arno too » 

« Right so Messieurs please come in » 

To say you were intrigued was an understatement, this whole symbol were all new for you. You told them you needed some times to work on your own with your books to find something that might help them. During your whole speech, Arno couldn’t took his eyes away from you. Not only were you attractive but you were also quite smart and very curious with for Arno was something quite attractive. The boys then left you working so they will investigate on your own. They kept going meet you so you could share what your learned from your book and your theory about what will be behind this door. 

« So at first I thought it could be a symbol you know ? Like an artefact so Bonaparte could use it as a proof of his merit you know ? To justify his putsch. Then I thought about what you heard him say back in the cave you know about knowing the true human’s nature ? And what citizen will do to progress. Both of you have already heard about the myth on St-Denis ? About the king’s ghost killing people by sinking his crown on people’s eyes ? It might be true. I thought a little description on a book about Saint Denis which involved bat killing people by going through their head or something… I know this doesn’t make any sense but what if it was true ? What if there is being this door an artefact or worst a weapon who could control bat or anyone ? » 

« I don’t Know Y/N it sound weird »

« Not necessarily »

« What do you mean Arno ? » 

« I might see something quite similar when I worked in Paris… Please Y/N until we are sure about what’s behind this door do not talk about this to anyone ? Promise me »

« I promise you Arno »

After this conversation, Arno started to come to see you more and more : he justified his visit by protecting you and make sure everything was okay. But you knew better, it was like he was looking about anything who will force him to stay with you which you would not complain about. The first time you saw him at this night you were also mesmerized by this man : everything about him was divin. He was absolutely handsome, his eyes were sharp yet he seemed so fragile like he was hurt and was looking for something to keep him alive. You didn’t know how to explain it but to you the man was absolutely broken and it was your mission to help him going through his issues. 

You started to see each other during days just for the pleasure of seing each other, you talked a lot about your childhood, your trip. Quickly you discover he was suffering from a loss cause he was always unclear when talked about his past as if it was something too heavy even for him. To him it was different, he couldn’t the feeling about being nostalgic with you : not like you were similar to Elise (quite the contrary) but he couldn’t stop thinking about his youth with Elise. You made him feel like a young boy again while he thought about seing everything and be ready to die. He was falling in love with you 

He was afraid and confused he didn’t know if he has the right to have a life. After Elise & Monsieur de la Serre’s death and being expelled from Assassins’ order : he doesn’t feel like he belong to this earth anymore, should he take you on his fall ? It’ll be selfish. He decided to keep his distance from you, he couldn’t hurt you : he’ll be damned for that. But you, you were devastated : because you fell the same about him, you were in love with him and more over you wanted to help him, you couldn’t just let him go to his decline. But the assassins was good at keeping you away from him, it was like he vanished from the city he couldn’t be seen no where. Madame Margot saw this, she was aware about your huge crush on the assassins and knew he felt the same but because of his past he would not tolerate himself to be happy. So she had to act. 

She started to talk with Arno, to understand why he was getting distant with you. She tried to explain how life is going to be rude and how grateful he will be if he got you by his side. She underlined his crush by telling him she noticed how he was looking at her when he thought no one noticed. It didn’t work, Arno could be stubborn when he wants to : he really thought his action were justify and one day you’ll understand. You on the other hand after being sad for couple of days, decided to let it go : I mean the man didn’t want you you couldn’t fight this. You even started to depreciate yourself : to you, you weren’t pretty enough, strong enough, smart enough. So it made sense Arno wasn’t interested on you. Plus he was getting very busy with his mission against Bonaparte. So you barely saw him. But you have seen him enough for Captain Rose to know you could be use at his own advantage. 

One night, on your road to your house you noticed someone was behind you probably following you since you left your library. Without looking on your back you were walking faster trying to be always as close as possible of shops just to be sure. Unfortunately Philippe Rose has expected that kind of behavior and wedged you on an alley. They were too many for you and there no way someone would come if you scream for help : this is the end you thought, you were about to die without a chance to confront Arno about your feeling. Everything went black and when you woke up you were in a cave completely tied on a chair. This was probably the cave Arno talked about : Will he come to save you ? Was he still even here ? 

Captain Rose tried to ask you some information about what they knew and what will be their next move. They get nothing, you first pretended knowing nothing about it and didn’t even know those people but you were a terrible liar. Rose noticed that and started to beat you but again you didn’t talk. You couldn’t let them having whatever was behind the door. Arno came to the cave eventually (he learned from Madame Margot you weren’t on your library and some people saw you walking quite fast while someone followed you), to say he was anxious was an understatement. He already lost Elise he couldn’t lose you too not when he came to realize (thanks to Leon who teased him about having a crush on you) he could try having something with you. 

Plus, thanks to Leon he gained faith again and decided he will come back as an assassins for the brotherhood and this time he’ll do it better. He was decided to come back at Paris with you if you still wanted him. Killing Rose was a piece of cake, the man became too confident when he got the key to open the door so he was careless. He didn’t take too minute time before Arno’s blade was on the throat of Philippe rose but he didn’t die Before Arno could say something. 

« Do not even think about putting a finger on Y/N again » 

After Rose’s death, he began to kill every Rose’s soldier before finding you tied on a chair. You looked tired, your eyes was so read probably from crying too much, one of your eyes was black while your cheeks and lips were swollen from being beaten. He wished Rose’s death was more painful. 

« Y/N can you hear me ? It’s me Arno mon dieu … Je suis tellement désolé please stay awake for me I don’t want to lose you Y/N »

« I don’t want to lose you either Arno » 

After being sure the cave was safe, he asked you to go upstairs and run to Margot’s house so you’ll be safe with Leon : he had still business to do. When he found the old Lanterne and finding out his true power, Arno was sure about one thing : Bonaparte shouldn’t find it. Then when the business was done, Arno went back to Madame Margot’s house finding you on her bed resting while Leon waited for him. When you woke up, he was on your side holding your hands while looking at you with a sad expression on his face. 

« Why are you crying monsieur ? » 

« I-I am not, I am just so relieved you’re okay. I was afraid I might lose you »

« You won’t Arno never … I am stronger than I look »

« I know I was here … I-I know I wasn’t very present these days and I’ll understand if you don’t want to see me again I mean… » 

« Arno please shut up. Don’t even finish this sentence, listen to me : I like you a lot, I know they’re something you don’t want to talk because it’s sill hurtful but it’s okay I can wait Arno. I’ll always wait for you. All I ask you is to give me chance to prove you you’re wrong » 

« Wrong ? About what ? » 

« Wrong about believing you don’t deserve some happiness in your life » 

This, is basically how your relationship began. 

Translation : 

Monsieur : Sir 

Mademoiselle : Miss 

Messieurs : Gentlemen 

Mon dieu... Je suis tellement désolé : My God ... I am so sorry 

[taki118]

Fenabela the looked over ship (a DA2 meta)

~~slight TW: mentions of abuse~~

Fenabela is one of those things often pushed to the side in the Dragon Age fandom, I find. Despite being a cannon ship there aren’t many fics or art dedicated to the pair. This is especially noted when compared to Adoribull (and the fact that the personalities of Dorian and Bull parallel Fenris and Isabela)

Now part of this is of course taste, most people having dubbed Isabela their wife or Fenris their husband and disliking pairing them with anyone other than Hawke or shipping with other npcs. To each their own I realize not everyone can multiship.

However I have noted a few general misconceptions or certain readings that get passed around and a few critics on the narrative that really need to addressed.

And I will display and counter these things here so strap in. (Obligatory sex joke)

Before that I want to state it is not my intention to tell anyone what they can and can’t ship. However I have found a good deal of unwarranted hate towards this ship and wish to defend it and explain why one might ship it. I do greatly enjoy this pair but I will do my best to remain objective.

I don’t like the characters

Of course if you don’t like characters involved in a ship you won’t like it. But Fenris and Isabela are often misunderstood or misread so I’ll go over some things for each quickly.

Fenris

Generally speaking Fenris is the fan favorite of DA2 (and I think a surprise one to the BioWare crew as I’m fairly certain they thought Anders would be the most popular).

However if you aren’t a fan of the broody archetype you likely won’t like him at least for half the game, towards the end he grows to be more relaxed and open.

Another general issue with him is his hatred of mages and support of the Chantry. While his feelings are understandable it can get grating. But again this softens as the game goes on if you weren’t an ass to him by the end he is willing to put his own issues to the back to protect mages and even stating he respects Mage Hawke or Bethany indicating mages who prove themselves to be humble and strong willed are able to earn his trust.

Isabela

Now Isabela is, at least I’ve found to be, one of the more polarizing and misunderstood characters in Dragon Age, and as such I’ll do a more in-depth meta on her at a later date. But here are some common things noted in regards to this ship.

People often think Isabela is a selfish bitch who doesn’t care about anyone but herself. However this is only if you don’t learn about her. The best quote I can give is from Act 3 between her and Anders.

Anders: I always knew you had a heart of gold

Isabela: shush don’t tell anyone.

Isabela has lived a life where she was shown that no good deed goes unpunished and as such tries to hide this aspect of herself. You gotta remember the whole reason she did the Qunari job is because she couldn’t go through with bringing slaves to Tevinter and was forced to steal the tome as compensation.

It wasn’t built up/rushed

Now I can’t be certain on this as I obviously don’t work for BioWare but it should be noted that:

1- this was the first time BioWare had a Love Interest romance and likely wasn’t sure about how much they should do. The next one was Talibrations in Mass Effect 3 that had around the same level build up followed by Adoribull that was given more time to develop naturally.

2- It seems like they wanted to do more but with the notorious 2 year time crunch by EA couldn’t. You can see this in the purposely added dialogue for them in dlc

Of course I am only guessing here but given this it sort of makes sense why it is the way it is. they were likely trying to find a balance between believable and non intrusive that was later utilized better in DAI but you gotta start somewhere.

Fenris doesn’t like Isabela or her flirting

I just um ok this is just so wrong I’m sorry I’m trying to be objective and shit but like come on.

So I know the line most go to, to prove this it’s

Fenris: From what I gather, you like a lot of things.

Isabela: Nonsense. But when I see something I like, I go after it.

Fenris: I suggest keeping your distance.

BUT that’s only if Fenris is romancing Hawke if he isn’t the banter is instead

Fenris: From what I gather, you like a lot of things.

Isabela: Nonsense. But when I see something I like, I go after it.

Fenris: Do you intend to go after me, then?

Isabela: Will you take off all that spiky armor you're wearing?

Fenris: It's been known to happen.

That’s a big tone difference isn’t it. In the first version he pushes her away as he’s interested in Hawke currently but in the second he’s flirting right back.

While yes in Act 1 he’s unsure and unused to her flirting but by Act 2 he’s willingly playing along. I mean he wouldn’t offer to play “Guess the color of my underclothes” with her if he didn’t enjoy it. It’s a safe way for Fenris to explore his sexuality and the only reason he tells her to back off at that time is because he’s serious about pursuing Hawke.

And no matter what Fenris respects her if only for one thing

Fenris: So you freed a group of slaves?

Isabela: Would-be slaves. They weren't slaves yet.

Fenris: Still, you did the right thing. Many would turn a blind eye.

Isabela: Don't read too much into it, all right? It just seemed a good idea at the time.

Like fundamentally I don’t think Fenris can hate someone who freed slaves.

It’s toxic/just about sex

I feel like this is more a jab at Isabela but again it’s over simplifying her character. Because here’s the thing most people over look when saying this ship is toxic for Fenris cause he’s a sexual abuse survivor ISABELA IS ONE TOO.

Isabela doesn’t really talk of her past much but from the dialogue given in game and tie in material we do know that

- her husband Louis purchased her from her mother young in the 10-13 age range

- he likely intended to groom her to be his perfect bride what with the lessons, gifts and such

- he forced himself on her and when isabela rebelled against him it’s implied he either did or was going to allow his friends to do so as well. To again let me reiterate a girl young enough to be his daughter.

Regardless of what exactly happened this did effect Isabela just in a different way. Isabela took autonomy of her body back once he was dead. Look some survivors of traumatic experiences are terrified of ever encountering it again but others continuously face the action head on to refuse it power, both are valid ways to deal with it. One is just less noticeable/sympathetic.

This line of thinking also ignores that literally the first intimate thing Fenris does when he enters a relationship with Hawke is have sex. They don’t ease into it just bam sex, but I have yet to see a Fenhawke is toxic hot take. which I mean I could make easily. Don’t believe me?

In the act 2 romance scene Fenris is angry, raw and emotional and taking it out on Hawke verbally before psychically pushing Hawke against a wall. when Fenris realizes what he’s done and pulls back Hawke immediately kisses him and they have sex. I could say Hawke took advantage of Fenris in his emotional state for their own sexual gratification. I don’t actually believe that but I could claim it. if you’re thinking that’s insane, you are correct but that’s the point it is very easy to twist things to fit a narrative if you really want to.

Now you might be thinking “Well it’s different Isabela just wants to use Fenris for sex” and if you think sex is just sex with Isabela you haven’t been paying attention.

Again I’ll go more into this with my isabela meta but to her sex is safe, it can’t hurt her but people can so she keeps them at arms length. With sex she can get the pyshical closeness she craves while keeping her feelings locked away in one night stands/flings. So the fact that she WANTS to continue seeing Fenris almost immediately after their first tour below deck is telling. And the fact he wants to continue just as much shows the relationship is as much his choice as it is hers.

And speaking of sex...

the memory plot hole

The main confusion I see people have with this ship is the Fenris gets memories after sex bit. And I get why it’s kinda vague but let me assure you it’s not a plot hole.

When you romance Fenris in Act 2 he leaves after having sex with Hawke due to memories returning and being unable to handle them. The confusion I see is often “so what sex with Hawke was so good it gave Fenris memories but not Isabela?” Or “why is it only Hawke?” The answer, it’s just a matter of timing.

The scene in question with Hawke only takes place in Act 2 but Fenris and Isabela don’t hook up until Act 3 and those three years in between make all the difference.

Act 2 Fenris has been free from Danarious(I will not spell his name right sorry) for at least 6 years but he’s still controlled by the man. He’s pissed at the lack of leads and when he gets one demands you go after it immediately and will straight up leave the party if you take too long. The reason is twofold he wants revenge and he’s afraid.

Fenris has only just started to carve out a life for himself in Kirkwall but he’s terrified that whatever life he has there will be torn away by Darnarious. Cause it’s happened before. So when he engages with Hawke and he’s flooded with these mostly happy memories it’s too much. He can’t handle it, at that time.

In just three years Fenris becomes a much more open and relaxed person. by Act 3 he has weekly card nights with Varric and Donnic, willingly helps Aveline and is even more relaxed about mages. The idea that he once had a life and a family before Danarious and that he can have one now isn’t as daunting or impossible to him as it was in Act 2.

It’s not that he doesn’t get the memories when sleeping with Isabela it’s only that he’s now in a place where he can handle them. Had Hawke the option to tell Fenris to take things slow in Act 2 the pair likely would not have separated. However that’s not what happened Fenris thought that he could handle it but couldn’t as he was in Act 2.

Don’t believe well Fenris himself says so to Hawke in Act 3 when asked why he left.

Fenris: the pain, the memories it brought up... it was too much. I was coward. If I could go back I would stay.

I’m not surprised people either missed or didn’t pick on this bit it happens late in the game and it is entirely possible to miss this branch of dialogue but it’s there and confirms what I stated. It’s not a plot hole only a matter of timing. Hawke had bad timing Isabela didn’t.

By Act 3 he’s in a better place mentally and is able to feel okay with the memories, with intimacy and with the idea of having a life. Whether or not Fenris and Isabela are serious about the relationship is irrelevant (though I head cannon they tell themselves it’s just a fling only to still be together years later) it’s the fact that he feels he can engage in this fashion with someone that’s important.

It should have been Isabela x Merrill

Now I can’t argue with people’s taste that’s ridiculous and I can see the appeal they’re cute. However it’s not something they could simply put in the game like Fenabela.

Let me explain. The reason it works in DA2 is cause it’s a light, flirty and fun type relationship and even if you don’t ship it, the idea is easy to chew off. If you play through their romances the idea that the two characters with huge trusts issues hooking up for fun isn’t that hard to buy.

Merrill however would require more than a couple teasing lines of dialogue. The reason being her romance plot.

The first thing Merrill says after having sex with Hawke is “I love you” if you don’t think Isabela would freak out at that and jump on the first boat she could find I don’t know but I’d like to hear your reasoning.

It takes Isabela a long ass time to be ok with saying and being told that with Hawke. It’s a big part of her romance arc.

Sooooo if one were to play through both their romances then play a game where they got together off screen it would require more dialogue than what Fenabela got otherwise it’d be a far bigger plot hole issue as the pair do not move at the same emotional speed.

Like I can’t see Merrill being into having a casual fling even by Act 3 and I can’t see Isabela being ok with a serious relationship either without a good deal of added dialogue and scenes.

Now this one is the most subjective part of the meta, I’m well aware, but with how BioWare handles their side romances Isabela x Merrill just could not be folded into the narrative as easily as Fenabela and likely would have been too intrusive for those uninterested in side romances.

So we’ve covered the main misconceptions and complaints on the ship. now to get into why Fenabela does work, and why people like this ship.

Their romances parallel each other

Something I noticed about the Kirkwall crew (and I might make a meta on it damn I got so many things to write) is that they each parallel and reflect each other (which is one of the reasons I dislike the Sebastian addition cause he kinda screws it up)

Aveline and Varric:

- Both are non romanceable

- Need Hawkes help to sort out their personal lives

- Both thrive in the friendship Hawke gives them

Merrill and Anders:

- both thirsty AF for Hawke and immediately move in

- both have blinders on in regards to their goals and ideals, Merrill with the mirror and Anders with well you know

- this also causes problems for both in their relationships with Hawke

So then we have Fenris and Isabela

- both wear a mask of indifference in Act 1 that is peeled away by Hawke in Act 3

- both runaway/try to distance themselves from Hawke and their relationship in Act 2 only to renew it in Act 3

- and both NEED to feel they can trust Hawke in order to move forward

Now unlike Merrill and Anders who’s conflict with Hawke is mostly situational (ie were it not for the mirror and being in Kirkwall aka mage torture capital of the free marches, there would be no problem) Fenris and Isabela’s conflicts are purely emotional and an emotion they share

Leading us to

They are damaged in similar ways

The main conflicts in their romances is fear.

A fear of happiness and a fear of love.

They both think that if they were to get that which they desire most they’d lose it or it’d be used against them or most of all they aren’t deserving of it and will never receive it.

And this is entirely because of what happened to them in life prior to arriving in Kirkwall.

They lived lives where love and happiness were things that could be used against them. A weakness to exploit or a reward to be taken away. So it makes sense that for their romance arcs they have to have trust to believe this love and happiness with Hawke is worth the risk.

So it’s safe to say that we’re they not romanced by Hawke it’s only natural they’d be drawn to one another. We often look for similarities in our partners sometimes it’s in appearance, others it’s values but for them it’d be their shared pain and fear.

Hawke: you’re not afraid of being hurt you’re afraid of hurting someone else

Isabela: no I look it isn’t like that it’s just easier this way

Isabela: you were right. I wasn’t afraid of love I was afraid of being loved.

Fenris: I killed them all

Hawke: why would you do such a thing?

Fenris: I felt it inevitable. My master had returned and this...this fantasy life was over.

Fenris: I’m sorry. All I ever wanted was to be happy...just for a little while. Forgive me.

Its why they are implied to have a more casual relationship in Act 3 than they would with Hawke. Hawke doesn’t have the same issues with intimacy as they do thus would take longer. And there is an appeal to the idea of two people finding comfort and support in one another even if it’s only temporary.

Isabela = fog warriors

So this is something I literally just noticed as I was working on this meta but um the Fog Warriors who helped Fenris after he first was free of Danarious whom he speaks of fondly greatly resemble Isabela at least in the traits he describes that he seems to find the most appealing.

Fenris: I had grown fond of the rebels. They bowed to no master and fought for their freedom.

Fenris: I had only been with them a few months but in that time I had felt I truly lived. They were bold, strong, free with their affections. I was in awe of them.

Like let’s take what he says here out of context for a second.

He says he was in awe and felt truly alive with someone who was

- bold - strong - free with affection - rebellious

- defiant - strong sense of freedom

That kinda describes Isabelas base personality perfectly. I can’t state that this was intentional or even if Fenris was aware but it’s not a long shot to say that Fenris would be drawn and attracted to people like this for this reason.

Their banter is cute

I mean I know it’s subjective but they do have some great back and forth and if you enjoy flirty snarky people it opens up some great opportunities in fan fiction and such. Characters who play well off each other are always more desirable and they got a great wise guy/straight man thing going.

They spend more time than we know together

A thing that can be overlooked easily it that each act has about 3 years in between them making the total run in the game about 9 years. We know from banter that the various characters interact with each other regularly regardless of whether or not Hawke is there. (Something I wish they could do more if EA got their heads out of their asses and gave us re release!)

Anyway we know from these brief moments that

- Fenris lets isabela visit the mansion

- isabela helps him out from time to time

- she’s one of the few people who’s opinion on mages he considers

- they play cards and/or make bets with each other

- they interact enough that Varric takes notice in the MOA dlc

it’s again something that’s fun to play with in fiction.

To summarize

- it’s not toxic

- they like interacting with one another

- there is no plot hole

- it’s not just about sex

- they were the easiest to pair up on the side

- they parallel each other

- share similar fears and traumas

- their personalities are fun to play with for fans

Fenabela really does not deserve the hate or lack of care it gets from the fandom. It’s the story of two damaged people finding support in one another if only for a short time and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying that.

Again I’m not saying this ship is better than any other, I’m not trying to get you to jump ship all this meta is here for is to clear up some misconceptions and unwarranted hate, and bring some much needed spot light to this ship that is often overlooked.

Anyway I want to thank anyone who read through this whole thing for their time and if you’d like to discuss any points here with me please reblog with “makers breath” first and I’ll 100% be up for talking (if you didn’t bother to read and just want to rant at me I will ignore it) I plan on making more of these as well as finishing fics but this topic has weighed on me for some time.

[talesfromthefade]

Orana (Garrett Hawke cameo) || SFW || implied/referenced torture & violence || 1871 words

Her new mistress is an ambitious, quick-tempered and cruel woman. Orana learns soon enough to complete her tasks quickly and efficiently with an effort to be seen and heard as little as possible. But being entirely unaccustomed to most manner of traditional labor for a slave, stumbles and is often punished numerous times before an old, half-blind elf who works in the kitchens as the Mistress’s cook takes puty and takes her under his wing. The Mistress does buy her new slave dresses rather than shirts and pants as Halward had done, but Orana thinks this is probably simply meant to mock her. Hadriana had made a point of thoroughly examining her purchase and smirked at Halward’s handiwork.

Orana is neither man, nor woman now, but somehow both and neither at the same time. She keeps her name, though Hadriana rarely refers to any of her slaves by them. The young elf begins visiting her kind mentor at the end of the day when her chores are finished, helping him with preparing the evening meal and settling beside the dying embers of the fire afterwards to keep warm while she listens to his stories: myths and legends from the old elves and the Dalish, of the elven Gray warden who helped save all of Ferelden from another Blight. She takes to calling him Papa, and it’s good to have someone again, but she misses Dorian terribly.

She makes a singular attempt at escaping, actually makes it as far as the Circle, throwing herself at the feet of the Enchanters only to be informed that Dorian has once again left them and has been neither seen nor heard from since. They send for her Mistress, who puts on a show of thanking them profusely- all smiles and happiness at being reunited with her beloved slave, then tortures her for nearly four hours with one creative and cruel spell after another and makes the rest of the household watch. Some spells, she later learns from overhearing her talking with a visiting Magister, are of her own invention. She doesn’t think of running away anymore. It isn’t self-preservation that keeps her where she is, however, but fear of what might be done to those she cares about. Hadriana makes it clear she would not be the only one to pay for any further mistakes or transgressions, no matter how much she loves Papa’s cooking. Love, the young elf thinks, is every bit the weakness her elder sister always tried to impress upon her. She will not make the mistake of letting anyone else in ever again, of allowing anyone to be used or hurt because of her. She will give Hadriana no reason and no other to punish in her stead.

They travel to the Free Marches a few years later, to Kirkwall, trying to track down a prize for Hadriana’s Magister mentor. It is the first time the young elf has ever left Tevinter, and while this is nothing like a vacation, she finds the prospect a little bit exciting it its way; a chance to see more of the worlds that Papa has talked abut in his many stories. Orana doesn’t pretend to understand the meaning of their journey, or why the Mistress felt it necessary to bring so many of her household with her, and she isn’t nearly foolish enough to be caught trying to listen to what the Mistress and her companions are speaking about either. She wouldnt normally have even been brought along, she suspects, but Papa is getting old and needs the extra help in the kitchens more and more now, rusty as her skills are by comparison. Hadriana loves Papa’s soup. Kirkwall and it’s surrounding outskirts are much colder, damper than the cities and desserts of her native lands, but fate proves just as cruel to her here as it has ever been in Tevinter.

Hadriana is scared. ‘The little wolf’ they were hunting has proven himself a far greater adversary than she had anticipated. They drag away and kill her Papa, bleed him for a ritual she doesn’t understand. Something to make the Mistress and her fellow mages stronger. The old elf breathes his last, choking on blood, urging her to run, hide, and save herself.

Fear gifts her feet with flight without thought, but alone in the tense silence with only the company of her thoughts and the sounds of the other mages and lackeys shouting and searching for her coming ever nearer, Orana wonders briefly whether there is anything left of her, anything worth saving after losing so much. It’s almost a relief when she hears the approach of Hadriana’s associates as they enter the room where she’s hidden herself. They will find her soon, and this nightmare and all the misery that has preceded it will finally come to an end. She remembers little of her anymore, but she could be with her mother again, with ‘Papa’. And that doesn’t seem such a terrible fate.

But death doesn’t come in the form of a large and powerful animal like the great Dread Wolf from Papa’s stories. Death, in fact, much to her disappointment, doesn’t come for her at all. A tall dark-haired man with a stubbled face leads what has to be the strangest band of fighters that the young elf has ever seen, and for a moment she thinks perhaps she died afterall and all of this must be some kind of peculiar dream: her mind trying to make sense of what has just happened and adjust to the Veil, or some trick of Fen’Harel. Her attention is soon diverted, however, as a fierce-looking elf with tanned skin, snow white hair, odd markings, and a sword nearly as big as himself strapped to his back addresses her.

She should fear him, she thinks. She saw crouched and hidden away in the corner behind one of the pillars the way that he cut down some of Hadriana’s lackeys when the group charged in here: nearly making the task look effortless, but something in his eyes looks sad, sympathetic, even kind in the way that he looks at her, and his voice when he asks if they touched or hurt her is laced with what can only be genuine concern, as she fearfully recounts what she’s endured.It is only when she relates her assessment that her Mistress might be frightened of what is coming for her and the elf growls his approval with simmering rage in his voice that it occurs to her this is the one they had come looking for. You are their wolf, she thinks with dawning comprehension.

“Please don’t hurt her,” Orana begs, even as she hates herself for doing so. “She’ll be so angry if you hurt her.” And if they lose, she thinks, the Mistress will have no one left to be angry with, no one left to punish but her.

“This has been terrible for you,” the leader of their group at the strange elf’s side offers in sympathy.

“Everything was fine until today,” Orana replies, shaking her head, tears filling her eyes in spite of her best efforts to keep them at bay.

“It wasn’t,” the other elf contradicts, looking pained. You just didn’t know any better.” She has, Orana almost says so, but it hurts to think of Dorian, of when she was once happy, even felt relatively safe.It has been years since she's had that now and thinking on it only mae her new lot seem all the more heavy and unbearable. She doesn’t expect to be happy now, bit to be safe again... To serve a Master that could protect her, that would look out for her... now that Papa is gone, now she is alone again...

Are you my Master now,” she asks curiously, studying him. Surely, a fellow elf would treat her well enough.

“No,” he replies vehemently, looking rather horrified and angry at the idea.

“But I can cook. I can clean, what else will I do,” she asks desperately grasping at straws, at a purpose now everything has been thrown into chaos and Hadriana and her fellows have taken her only friend and comfort from her.

“If you go to Kirkwall, I can help you,” the man offers kindly. He is a Shem, and a mage, but despite it all Orana knows, must believe that whatever she has suffered at the hands of her former Masters, humans and mages cannot all be bad, her mind flashing briefly to a familiar and long-missed smile and bright bronze and silver streaked eyes. The male elf who’d shown her sympathy keeps this man’s company. Perhaps she misjudged, perhaps he too is a slave or member of the man’s household... “Yes? Oh praise the Maker,” the young elf breathes relieved. “Thank you,” Orana replies gratefully. She doesn’t wait a moment longer, before dashing off down the hallway they have just cleared, making her way out of the maze of passages until she can feel the sun on her face again, taste the salt of the coast in the air. She runs all the way to Kirkwall, her feet sore and blistered by the end from hot sand, sharp rocks, and the long distance. The cold of the stones of the city are almost welcome by her journey’s end, but she is far away from Hadriana and those who would try to bleed her as they had her Papa, and if she is uncharacteristically blessed then perhaps the mage and his band of followers will rid her of her Mistress for good. She earns some glares and strange looks for stopping in the Chantry when she stumbles upon it, but takes a seat in a lonely pew in the back and sends up a prayer to Andraste and whoever might be listening and acting on her behalf that for once fate might be kind, and her new master might be as well, before it occurs to her she hadn’t even bothered to ask for his name. It appears to be unnecessary, however, as a brief description to those who bothered to stop and speak with her all yield the same name. Garrett Hawke. His reputation precedes him it seems, though thus far what Orana has gleaned from passersby that know of him, have largely been positive. Indeed curiously the only negative assessments of his character came from fellow nobles who apparently disapproved of his success in improving his station. Her new master came to the city as a refugee, scraping by and saving every copper he earned from any off jobs he could get, and found the wealth to restore his family’s name and home on an expedition in the Deep Roads with the what sounds like the dwarf she’d seen accompanying him and several other companions back in the caves. She should reserve judgment, but Orana resolves instead to reserve the right to change her mind- for the moment, if everything these people have said of Messere Hawke is true, it will be an honor to serve and call him her new Master.

[propshophannah]

when Aelin & Dorian talk about always coming back for each other & the whole "but he still believed her" thingy... I gives me a very Eerie feeling. Like will she eventually not come back for him? I felt like their relationship had become strained after QoS.

Sooo. Ugh I've thought a lot about why Aelin didn't do more to cultivate her relationship with Dorian in EoS. Because you're right. At the end of QoS, they have some really nice moments, but then Aelin leaves. And when they're together in EoS, she literally does NOTHING to cultivate their friendship. Whereas we see her actively participate in cultivating friendships with Ansel and Lysandra. The most we get for Dorian is Rowan being nice to him in some private moments. We get a little bit of Aelin talking to him but not like we get with her and her other friends. And Aedion is a prick to Dorian for the WHOLE BOOK (save for the very very very end when Dorian, who has been nothing but kind to him the entire book, offers him hope and Aedion hugs him for it). Here's the only answer that i can currently come up with for this: Maas needed to alienate Dorian from the group so that his character would be more willing to go/be drawn to Manon. This works in several ways. Manon is the only other alienated character. She is a queen without a crown same as he is a king without a crown. When they meet she is in chains but is the ACTUAL Manon/the Manon without a mask and Dorian is the only one who can see that. Aelin, Rowan, and Aedion only see the Blackbeak Heir/the White Demon. (The irony of this is not lost on me either. That Manon is able to see the person within/the "chained thing" as evidenced by her recognizing and saving Abraxos, Elide, Dorian. YET when she is without her mask/myth (the invisible, symbolic chains of her abuser), and she is stripped of all her masks and titles and is instead physically chained—no one but Dorian is able to see her for who she really is. Who she has been since HoF. Then in EoS we also see a Dorian who is constantly in his head thinking/problem solving and of course he is depressed. And no notices....no one but Manon 😎. She recognizes his facial expressions and asks him what's wrong. She sees him just as he sees her. She vows not to let him get taken again/be abused again. THE SAME WAY he picks up on her sexual/physical abuse and need for control (remember when they're going to have sex the first time and she's taking of her own clothes and has to lay down the rules about only taking what she offers) and tells her when she asks about his magic hands that he would never use them to hurt her. She ignores he comment but he didn't say that just to say it. He meant it. The same way he meant it when he said he'd kill her grandmother for what she did to Manon. They also seem to have an ability to "tune in" on one another's thoughts. I'm not sure if only one of them is doing it and allowing the other in on the knowledge or if they're both actively doing it. But whatever it is, they're both able to pick up on what the other is thinking/feeling. Then there was the whole thing where neither of them could stop thinking about the other, or able to stay away from the other. I think this is way more evident in Dorian's behavior because he shields himself from Manon in the marshes, and he keeps coming into her room etc. his magic also reacts to her on its own. He's not in control of it when it protects her. This could be because he has little control over it and also because it's magic he has for the purpose of sealing Erawan away and they NEED Manon to be able to do that. She is a key piece of the puzzle. So if I'm a god who gifts Delectable Dorian with my raw magic you can bet your ass I made sure that magic is going to protect my other investments—BUT. BUUUUUUT it only reacts to Manon. Not Aelin, not Rowan not anyone else. They're mates. There is a shit load of evidence to suggest that they are (search Manon and Dorian are mates on my blog, or manorian and you'll find the posts). We also get that scene on the tiny boat with Rowan and Dorian when Dorian thinks about how he thought Rowan and Aelin knew they were mates and were hiding it because his magic picked up on it and he knew. So we can also deduce that Dorian likely knows his pull to Manon is because they're mates. Which makes having the sex scene in her POV on purpose. If we'd have gotten it from Dorian it would have given too much away.AND ONE LAST THOUGHT ON THIS: in EoS Dorian can sense lies. We don't know if this is something he needs to be holding Damaris to be able to do, or if his raw magic allows him to do it. So it is also hard to be depressed and trying to fit in when you know when your friends/the people around you are lying. But of course, Aelin doesn't know that and she still distanced herself from him. But she is a 19-year-old girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders in EOS and she makes a lot of mistakes because of it. We should count her inability to cultivate a relationship with Dorian as part of that. It wouldn't be fair to her for us to ignore that. But. This is all I got as to why Maas did that. She needed Dorian to be just as alienated as Manon in order for them both to be unable to ignore the pull they have toward one another.

[shannaraisles]

Her Beacon And Her Shield - Chapter 10

At long last, the blizzard had ended. Crisp white snow glistened beneath the moon's silver glow. Haven was gone, buried beneath a man-made avalanche. The deadly rush had taken the red templars with it, though the dragon had been seen flying away before the snow truly reached the village. Had the Elder One been buried too? Was it really so much to ask that the intentional catastrophe that had taken the Herald of Andraste from them had already ended the threat for good?

The camp was subdued, every one of them just a little broken by what had happened. To have come so close to victory; to have sealed the Breach with such success, only to be defeated by an enemy they had not thought to look for. It was too much to bear. To know that the Herald of Andraste had willingly gone to her death to save them ... that was the cruelest blow of all. Of all they had lost, she was the one most mourned. How could they go on without her?

Cullen stood at the crest of the valley they had retreated to, unable to tear his gaze from the ruin of Haven. Was she down there still, he wondered, her final resting place among corrupted templars who had not had the sense to take the sanctuary she had offered them? Or had the dragon removed her body, to be defiled in punishment for perceived crimes against its master? Just the thought of that made him sick to his stomach. Hadn't this Corypheus done enough to her?

"Ame ..." he whispered to the uncaring night, his heart crushed within his chest.

She was gone. She couldn't be gone. She'd always been there; even when he had sent her away from Kirkwall, he'd had the comfort of knowing that she was alive somewhere in the world, that he had saved her from almost certain death. But he had not saved her this time. He'd abandoned her, when he'd sworn he would never do such a thing again. It didn't matter that she had told him to go; that she had ordered him to guide their people safely out of harm's way. His failure had been set in stone the moment that army began to march. To save their people, Amelia had sacrificed herself, and to his shame, he had allowed her to do it. It should have been him.

"Biting, burning, the cold stings and numbs and tears; it hurts, hurts so much ..."

He startled at the sound of that voice, his hand going to the hilt of his sword, but it was only Cole, that strange boy who had risked so much to warn them of the attack. The boy was crouched in the snow nearby, his gaze fixed on some unknown point farther down the mountainside. Cullen relaxed, too caught up in his grief to care that he was no longer alone.

"... the throne of the gods is empty. No. No, I cannot believe that. Andraste guide me, show me the path through this darkness ..."

What a bitter pill that was to swallow. None of the mages could guess how, but every one of the survivors had heard Amelia's confrontation with the Elder One as though it took place beside them. They had heard his claims with terrifying clarity, frightened by the implications of what had been said. They had heard their Herald spit defiance back in his face. Cullen's heart twisted painfully as he recalled again the sound of her defiance, her stubborn refusal to simply lie down and die. In those moments, she had stood for all of them, refusing to be cowed, refusing his desire to be a god. If only she had lived, they might have been able to pick up the pieces and go on. The creature had named her his rival. Without her, they had no defense against what might come next.

"... not afraid, I am not afraid. But I am afraid. Of the night, of the cold, of not knowing. What is the point of love if it is always lost ..."

Whoever Cole was, he seemed to be in a state very close to the despair crowding through Cullen's mind and heart. His Ame, lost to the spiteful malice of a darkspawn magister. But she'd never known she was his, not for certain. He had never told her, never confessed her place in his heart. Never held her just for the sake of holding; never shared with her how he had only begun to live when she had entered his life. Never shared his deepest secrets, despite her often asking. He loved her. He had failed her.

"... pain that flares and cuts like a knife. My hand burns, Fade light to feel my way. Have to keep going. Have to find them, find him ..."

Something in the boy's rambling broke through Cullen's bitter self-recrimination. He raised his head, staring at Cole in heart-stopping alarm. "What did you say?"

"... green against the snow. Embers ... still warm. They've been this way ... He's been here. Just a few more steps ..."

Fade light from a burning hand, green against the snow. There was only one person Cole could possibly be thinking of, describing in that moment. The boy shied back as Cullen reached out abruptly, prevented from escape by the hard grip the commander took on his shoulders.

"What are you saying?" he demanded harshly. "Is she alive?"

Cole's strange watery eyes came sharply into focus, looking away from the pain he was sensing into the angry hope that dominated the man holding him in place. "You are her beacon and her shield," he said calmly. "The snow chills her, the dread wolf howls, and she yearns toward you."

That was all the proof Cullen needed. "Tell the healers to prepare," he ordered the boy, already turning to stride out into the knee-deep drifts.

Amelia was alive! Out there, somewhere, searching for home. He was barely out of the shelter of the rocks when he heard the heavy stumble of a body forcing through the snow at his back. As he turned, he felt the oddly comforting closeness of a magical barrier form around him, shielding him from the worst of the biting wind. "What are you doing here?" he demanded ungratefully.

"My dear fellow, if you think I'm going to let you plunge out into the night without me, you've got another thing coming," Dorian puffed as he came level with the commander. His expression was unusually somber as he added, "Amelia would never forgive me if I let something happen to you."

"If we don't find her soon, you won't have the luxury of being unforgiven," Cullen ground out, irritated by Dorian's mere presence. If he were brutally honest, that probably had something to do with his sudden desire to be Amelia's hero and rescue her all by himself.

"In that case, I won't forgive me," Dorian countered, but any further debate was cut off as Cole seemed to appear between them.

"Not far, down there," the boy interrupted, pointing down the mountain. "Can't walk, can't think. The snow bites her hands and she does not give up."

"Come on, then," Cullen ordered them both, forgetting his irritation in a sudden surge of loving concern for the woman struggling alone in the night.

Even he had to admit that Dorian's presence was welcome in that headlong rush down the mountain. The mage held a barrier over all of them as they pushed on, the air within kept warm by their own exertions. He even managed to keep Cole focused; the boy had a tendency, it seemed, to hone in on whoever was closest, and that was not what they needed right now. Yet somehow Dorian kept the boy's mind focused on Amelia, the jumble of words and feelings growing more coherent the closer they got. It was an exquisite sort of pain to listen to him; to know that the thoughts belonged to Amelia, private and yet violated for the sole purpose of her rescue. To hear her pain and despair growing, her strength ebbing, even as they closed the distance. And without both of them with him, Cullen knew he would never have found her in time.

"... I shall die here, and he will never know, never guess how I loved him ..."

"There!"

Dorian pointed his staff, sending a flare of electricity arcing over the snow to illuminate the darkness. Cullen peered after it, squinting into the night ... and felt a surge of unbridled joy as he spied a faint flicker of green light against the moon-touched snow. Fade light to feel her way, indeed. His stride lengthened, forging a path through the drifts toward his fallen wife. She was kneeling in the burning blanket of snow, breathing hard, her face and hands mottled white and red with the cold.

"Ame!" Cullen staggered to his knees before her, fumbling to remove his bear-fur mantle even as he felt Dorian's magic infuse the air around her with gentle warmth. "Ame, it's me, it's Cullen. I've got you, you're safe."

Even lifting her head was a struggle, but somehow she found the strength to meet his eyes as he wrapped the warm fur securely about her shoulders. "... Cul? ... am I dead?"

"No," he promised her, his grin fierce as he watched Dorian pour a little of his own mana reserve into her. "You're alive. You're safe. We found you."

"We ...?" Her head drooped forward.

"She needs a healer," Dorian said, uncharacteristically terse. "I can't do any more for her."

"I will lead," Cole volunteered, his dim eyes bright as he basked in the unspoken love shared by husband and wife. "She wants to sleep."

 "No!"

Cullen wasn't surprised to hear Dorian's denial of that desire resound with his own. He shook Amelia none too gently, relieved when her head jerked up once more. "Ame, you have to stay awake just a little while longer. We're not far from the camp, but you have stay awake. Do you hear me?"

Bleary-eyed and utterly exhausted, she managed to nod in understanding. "I hear," she breathed, frozen fingers gripping his arm. "Help me ..."

As much as he wanted to lift her into his arms, Cullen knew that would only make it harder for her to stay conscious. She would have to walk, but he would help her every step of the way. Slowly, painfully, he and Dorian got her to her feet, the mage sacrificing his staff to give her a walking stick, to support the side Cullen did not have tucked protectively against himself. As he had promised, Cole lead the way, no longer babbling Amelia's every thought as they retraced their steps through snow already disturbed by their passage. It was slow going - Amelia was exhausted, frozen to the bone, drooping with every step. She didn't have the energy to keep her eyes open, and yet she forced herself onward, dragging her leaden limbs through the broken drifts, leaning heavily on Cullen as they went.

"There! It's them! It's the Herald!"

"Thank the Maker!"

If he hadn't been so chilled and exhausted by the seemingly endless hike up the mountain, Cullen could have kissed Cassandra for what happened next. Cole's warning to the healers had been overheard, it seemed. On the Seeker's orders, Inquisition soldiers rushed out to meet them, stamping down the snow to make the going easier, offering their support to their wilting commander and his party as they struggled onward. Within a matter of minutes, Cullen, Amelia, and Dorian were hustled into a tent so unnaturally warm, he immediately began to sweat, and once again he blessed the mages who had chosen to join them. He let the healers take Amelia from his grasp, confident that she was in good hands, and sank down shakily onto a cot beside Dorian, who didn't seem to be in much better shape than he was. Outside the tent, he could hear the joyful news spreading like wildfire. The Herald of Andraste was alive.

Some time later, he roused from deep sleep, warm and oddly tangled. It took a moment to realize that he was tangled not just in blankets, but in limbs, and there were too many of those to be entirely decent. "What in the name of -"

"Keep your voice down, she's sleeping."

Startled by the sound of Dorian's voice quite so close, Cullen's eyes snapped fully open. He was still in that heated tent, the thick canvas buckled shut against the chilled air outside. He was also half-naked, clad only in his breeches, and buried beneath too many blankets for comfort. Dorian was also under those blankets, seemingly just as undressed as he was, and wedged between them, warm and soft and alive, lay Amelia, her sleeping face nestled in the crook of the commander's shoulder. Uncomfortable though it was to be sharing a bed with Dorian Pavus, of all people, Cullen could see the wisdom in it. They had all been frozen in some way; this was the safest manner of warming them all without harm.

"How is she?" he asked the mage in a voice rough with sleep.

"Miraculously unharmed," Dorian assured him, a wry tilt to his lips. "Not even a touch of frostbite. Either those boots are exceptional, or someone is watching over our Amelia."

The relief that flooded through him was almost enough to make Cullen forget the man was sharing a bed with him and his wife. "Thank the Maker," he breathed, tilting his head to gently caress her temple with his chin. Even in her sleep, she objected to the stubble, grimacing as she produced a soft sound of complaint. He smiled, afraid to laugh for fear of waking her. But not even Dorian's knowing smirk could stop him from pressing a kiss to her brow.

"Yes, I thought that was the case," the mage mused, every nuance of his tone and expression radiating approval. "You really should tell her how you feel, you know."

"That would hardly be fair," Cullen murmured, surprising himself with his response. But he would rather have her living and in love with someone else, than never drawing breath again. "She cares for you a great deal."

"Well, naturally she does," Dorian agreed in his flippant way. "I am adorable. I am also utterly impervious to her charms. Were she not so devoted to you - and I not so loyal to her - you and I would have had this out weeks ago. I refuse to break up a happy marriage, even if the participants are blissfully unaware of one another's feelings. I've seen so few of them in my lifetime." At Cullen's slightly stupefied look, he chuckled gently. "You do love her, don't you?"

Cullen felt his face redden at the direct question, unable to avoid the mage's gaze without disturbing the woman sleeping between them. "I ..."

"You don't have to tell me," Dorian asserted rather impishly. "Telling her would be a very good start, however."

Cullen opened his mouth to answer, and was prevented by a blast of icy wind rushing over them as the tent flap was opened to admit Mother Giselle. Both he and Dorian huddled in closer to Amelia, trying to protect her from that bracing rush of air, and he surprised himself again by feeling no embarrassment at the way Dorian's hand gripped his elbow beneath the blanket, both of them focused on protecting her.

"I apologize, commander," the Chantry mother said in her lilting tone, apparently ignoring Dorian's presence entirely. "The healers believe that the Herald has had sufficient time to warm through, and I believe you are required by Sister Leliana. I will sit with the Herald while you are gone."

"Because I cannot be trusted with the health and well-being of my only friend," Dorian muttered facetiously.

Cullen frowned at the cold way Mother Giselle failed even to acknowledge the mage who had saved Amelia's life twice now. "Thank you, Mother," he said through that frown. "But if you could wait outside the tent a while longer? Altus Pavus and I are rather undressed."

Mother Giselle's eyes widened in shock, taking in the three-in-a-bed situation in front of her. She had apparently not been made aware of just what was involved in skin-to-skin contact. "Of course, commander, I ... I will wait outside."

Dorian shuddered as she left. "Charming woman," he commented mildly. "Puts me in mind of a serpent, but without the cuddly personality."

"Is she often that way with you?" Cullen asked, reluctantly disentangling himself from Amelia's clinging limbs as gently as he could.

"Often enough," was all Dorian would say on the matter, but Cullen wondered just how much racial prejudice the mage had to endure on a daily basis. When they were all safe again, he would have to look into countering such attitudes.

Knowing now that their rivalry had existed only in his head, Cullen realized that he looked on Dorian Pavus as a friend. The man had meticulously dosed him with ever decreasing amounts of lyrium in Amelia's absence, and not once had he questioned him over the reason why. Their verbal sparring was enjoyable, almost a highlight of each day, a challenge to keep up with the conversation of a man who was probably far more intelligent than Cullen could ever hope to be. Dorian had referred to Amelia as their Amelia, and he was right. She belonged to all of them, and they belonged to her. In her shadow, they forged friendships that might never have come about without her. And Cullen protected his friends almost as fiercely as he did his wife.

His lips brushed her brow once again as the two men tucked her warm beneath the blankets. Sleep peacefully, Ame, he wished in the silence of his heart. Andraste bear witness, I will never abandon you again.