#and everyone in my class knows im trans anyway and has no issue with it nd im never deadnamed / misgendered so its not even that weird

[horrible-oracle]

just a rant cos im anxious af

extremely anxious rn abt a class ill have starting tmrw, which will be online, bc of the coming-out-and-stating-my-name issue.. usually for the firs time we either introduce ourselves or write down our names on a piece of paper so that the teacher/professor knows who's present and absent, and i can just write my deadname in brackets so that they know who i am on their official papers and the student data base on the website or whatever but obvs there won't be any writing down our names during an online class and most likely the teacher will call everyone's name from the list theyve got and i will have to be like yep that's me im present but also uh pls call me this name instead of what you've got there and it is soooooo awkward.... and ive had to do it 2 times b4 but i said the gender neutral version of my name (cos i was to scared!) so ofc they misgendered me and so i don't wanna do that nd say the long masc version of my name instead but like it's so fucking awkward and scary!!!!!!! theoretically i could email the teacher b4 the class but uhhh that's even more weird and awkward and like im almost 100 percent sure it would be ok, like ive had zero issue with any teachers abt my name/pronouns it's just that its extremely awkward and also kinda scary to come out like that esp saying the masc version of my name out loud when it's being checked whos present at the class

[stinkrascal]

A couple things I was wondering is how did you figure out you had BPD? I know there's a couple disorders that can often get diagnosed beforehand, so I guess how did you know there was more going on? Secondly, what kind of therapy do you feel was the most helpful, if any? I have issues keeping a therapist because they tuxedo mask away after realizing I already have CBT down (which only kind of helps me). Thank you for being open about BPD! I feel like there's so much unnecessary stigma.

hiiiiii!! sorry i didnt reply yesterday i spent all day writing my silly sims stories 😴 i will talk about my experience under the cut!! ty for being curious about it!! <3

umm tbh i was diagnosed in a really weird way lol. so, like, where i went to high school was a really conservative and religious town, and when i was a freshman in high school i was one of the only trans/lgbt kids that was vocally out at my school. there were more of them, my friend group was basically all lgbt ppl, but i was the only person in my school who would demand staff to call me a different name/use different pronouns. but anyways so my lgbt friend group was being bullied pretty badly so our school hired this counselor training in lgbt issues that would talk to us individually about our experiences as lgbt kids who were bullied and such. it was actually really cool you know! but anyways i was one of the students who had to participate in this and the lady who was talking to me realized that i was, like, a really troubled kid lol. and on top of that i was failing all my classes and i had been struggling in school my entire life (like consistently making report cards with at least 5/7 of the classes being failed type of shit) sooooo they basically had this like idk meeting with my parents? where they were super adamant that they take me to a doctor and put me into therapy bc i was struggling really badly and yeah. after that my parents put me into therapy and got in touch w a doctor and i got some treatment and eventually a bpd diagnosis. but yea it only happened cuz of my school forcing them to take me ha.

the truth is i didn't really suspect anything was wrong with me because the way i grew up, i thought everyone acted like me 🤷‍♂️ i think the only time i started really thinking i might have bpd was when i got my first boyfriend at 16, that's when my codependency and attachment issues really started to manifest, and those have always consistently been the bpd symptoms i struggle the most with. but even back then i didn't really know what bpd was, so it wasn't like i was specifically thinking i was suffering w bpd. more so that i knew something was Off about me but i couldn't really explain what it was

unfortunately i haven't gone to therapy in a long time :( and the last time i went it wasn't for bpd treatment at all. so i really can't say what could help you there in terms of therapy. i did group therapy during my bpd treatment but it didn't really help me much.

you're probably not gonna like this answer lmao but i use weed to medicate my intense mood swings and that helps a lot. also just being able to recognize when i need to cool off and being able to use my words to tell ppl that i need to be alone for a minute to clear my head, that helps too. basically just being mindful of ur changing emotions and giving yourself room to feel those emotions and allow them to pass u, without feeling guilt for this, and without projecting those emotions onto other ppl bc at the end of the day it isn't really anyone else's fault that u feel the way you do.

also just try to give ppl the benefit of the doubt in general, ik my bpd makes me SO sensitive like for example. ik we make jokes about this but you guys im not kidding, my favorite mutual reblogging a post from someone else instead of me hurts my feelings so bad some days i have to just log off and go cry about it. CRY ABOUT IT YOU GUYS! it's really awful and totally not grounded in reality 😭 but like it's there, it's something i experience and deal with, and it isn't anyone's fault that it happens, it's just the cards i was dealt with.

so instead of projecting that feeling onto my beloved mutuals and being like Ohhhhh so you actually hate me! You actually want me to kill myself! You've actually never cared about me ever, person I've had two conversations with in total! yeah instead of working myself up for something so silly... i just try to put myself in other ppls shoes, try to remember that when i do things it is not with malicious intent and most people are also not doing things with malicious intent. bc for me, my bpd tends to dehumanize ppl... they arent people with nuance and depth and complex and at times contradictory lives, theyre my Favorite Person, person who does no wrong, person who could never do any wrong no matter how hard they try, and that's dehumanizing, that's unfair to the person!! so by humanizing the other person, by remembering we are all people with rich inner lives and struggles and most of us just want to do our best even when we slip and fall... it helps calm me down from those spirals where im like, ohhhhh god everyone hates me because they didn't reblog a text post from meeeee!!! lol

[gaysimpsstuff]

Fatgum As a Dad

This was inspired by a conversation I had on a discord server, we all have daddy issues and want Fatgum to adopt us so here’s all the shit we collected.

There are some serious themes in here, mostly regarding the biological parents of the kid, but it’s vague as possible. If anyone wants me to add a trigger warning please let me know.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It all started when he was a kid, when he learned what an orphanage was. One of the kids in his class mentioned being from one, so when he got home he asked his parents about it. 

“Mom, what’s an orphanage?”

“Well, Taishiro, it’s where children that don’t have parents go. Then people can come and adopt the children. Why do you ask.”

“A kid at school said he’s from one, when d’you think he’s gonna get adopted?”

“He might, not all children get adopted. Some of them stay in the orphanage until they’re adults.”

“BUT THAT’S NOT FAIR!” he shouted. “EVERYONE DESERVES A HAPPY CHILDHOOD!”

“Well, honey, life’s not fair. And not everyone gets a happy life. It’s how most villains are made, actually. They were hurt more than everyone else and couldn’t handle it anymore. Not all villains are like that but many are. I think you should stay away from that kid, Taishiro. He might turn out a villain.”

But he didn’t stay away. And he made it his mission to become a pro hero so he could make a ton of money and help as many people as he could. He’d help even villains, keep them from doing something dangerous and inspire hope in them.

Then, he’d adopt any kid who needed a father. All the orphanages and foster programs would be empty. Homeless children off the street and in his house, being fed and clothed. He’d care for each and every one of them, not wanting a single person to feel like they didn’t belong. 

He finds most of his kids at pride parades. He walks around with a shirt that says ‘FREE DAD HUGS’ and a box full of candy. He remembered one of the kids walking up to him slowly.

“Um.. are you Fatgum?” 

“Yes I am!”

“Can I have a hug?”

“Yes you can, Kiddo!” he got down, and the kid put his arms on his stomach (Fatgum’s too big for anyone to fully hug, the dude’s taller than Allmight!) he wrapped his arms around the kid before he heard sniffles. He looked down and saw that the kid was crying.

“M-my parents never hug me like this!” they exclaimed. “They haven’t since I came out. They want to kick me out when I turn thirteen!” 

“Can I have their number? I’m going to... talk to them.”

He ended up taking the kid’s family to court, and since the parents were going to just kick the kid out anyways, they let Fatgum adopt them, but they kept nagging him about how he was ‘going to be raising a little demon.’

“Then call me Lucifer.” he spat right back. Now, that kid’s grown up, has pride flags all around their walls, and doesn’t ever doubt that they’re loved.

Fatgum probably bakes with his kids. Helping them up onto the counter to mix ingredients and play with the dough. If they mess something up or break a glass, it’s fine. He doesn’t yell at them or sigh and shake his head, he just kissed the kid on the forehead and helps them clean up the mess. 

The food always turns out amazing, and Fatgum always tells the kids that. All of his kids are now Gordon Ramsay level chefs and have probably met Gordon Ramsay. 

No matter what their body type is, Fatgum tells his kids their handsome/beautiful and are model worthy. If anyone comments of one of his kid’s body, whether it be negative or... ‘positive’ in a creepy way, you can expect that they’re getting slammed into the ground. No questions asked.

One of Fatgum’s kids is really good at make-up. Like, really good. So Fatgum did the only thing a rational father would do. 

Ask for a make-up job.

It didn’t end all that well...

“Hold still.. I gotta get the eyeliner on.”

“Gosh, Kiddo it’s making my eyes water.” 

“I know, just hold still... aaaand...... done! Now don’t touch it or it’ll smear!”

“Wow, that looks great! You’re really good at this!”

“Thanks, dad- you smeared it already didn’t you?”

“....Nope.”

Fatgum: I'm not gonna do it, it just seemed like a good option. 

Fatgum not even two seconds later after seeing a trans kid crying: now carrying said child on his shoulders while his spouse is chuckling in a corner after signing adoption papers I did it.

This man would get his kids almost anything they wanted. Especially kids with ADD/ADHD/Autism/Tourettes/Anxiety who need stim toys.

Kid: chewing on their nails.

Fatgum: here take this stim toy, and this one, you chew this one so that might help-

Kid ends up with more stim toys than they can count.

Fatgum: just doing his job 

The Daddy Issues Gang: Hi dad- oh shit wait- Hi- I- fuck- trauma ensues. crying

Fatgum: grabs the daddy issues gang we're going to the nearest courtroom say hello to your new father its me im the father ok lets go.

Kid: um, dad can I talk to you? 

 Fatgum, turning around quickly: yes? 

 Me: ‘he moved so quick, he's mad at me, I'm gonna get yelled at’ Sorry, sorry! 

Fatgum: uh, no. I'm getting you ice cream and a new stuffed animal no questions asked

He'd just know when something's wrong, and he’d be great at comforting.

His usual style of comfort is to let the kid sit on his stomach and tell him what’s wrong. His body is one giant pillow for his kids to lay on, he can fit at least eight of them if they cuddle in closely.

Once filmed a commercial dressed as the Cool-Aid man, and all of his kids were in the commercial.

Fatgum: Busts down wall  “OH YEAH!”

Director: “And CUT! Okay, try a little more aggressive-”

Fatgum, in tears: “I don’t wanna scare my kids.”

As stated before, if anyone makes his kids feel bad he’s punching them to the ground, but sometimes he’s not in a position where he can do that. Like if a Karen mom ever comes over.

"Linda stop bringing lemon squares if you're going to talk about my son that way because they're just as sour as your attitude."

Fatgum but he slaps the toxic members of your family and tells them to do better or he's taking you.

Then takes you anyway because you prefer him.

Fatgum with a sweater that says ‘mr dad guy on it’

Fatgum definitely watches ATLA, and quotes Uncle Iroh daily. When his kids are minding their own business they suddenly hear

“Leaves from the vine... falling so slow...” 

INAUDIBLE CHAOS AND PANIC

Fatgum agency cosplayed ATLA characters on Halloween.

Fatgum was Iroh.

Kirishima was Sokka.

Tamaki was either Momo or Appa.

Maybe get a couple others in on it too, Mirio could be Aang and if Kirishima convinces Todoroki to join for a while he’d totally be Zuko.

Fatgum lets his kids squish his face.

Fatgum used to work with a hero who was hard of hearing, so he learned sign language to help them, and he’s got the skill saved in case one of his kids might be deaf.

So one day, Kirishima invites Bakugou on patrol with him, and we all love that headcanon of Bakugou going deaf, so when he gets pissed at something, he starts insulting everyone around him in SL.

Fatgum notices and starts signing back to him.

YOU’RE ALL MOTHERFUCKERS AND I HATE YOU ALL!

Hey, now, let’s calm down and not call everyone motherfuckers.

FUCK YOU TOO

Bakugou...

Everyone thinks that they’re doing magic, because they’re making all these shapes with their hands and keep looking offended at each other.

Now, Fatgum tries his gosh darn hardest to keep up with the memes, so when his kids come home with good grades, he says “That’s so pog, Kiddo!”

All of his kids are embarrassed.

In the middle of a battle, he throws Kirishima at a villain and they both scream “YEET!” the villain afterwords forever lives in fear of the word ‘yeet’ because he thinks it’ll result in a human rock being thrown at his face.

Fatgum can’t text very well, because his fingers are just too damn big-

sonhsisntextsblooklikehthis'

Translation: so his texts look like this

you learn to understand his texts

Someone better get him a large tablet instead of a phone

If he gets married after he adopts the kids, there’s going to be a huge competition over who does the rings and who does the flowers etc.

If any of his kid’s ever bring home a romantic partner, you can bet your ass he’ll be all over them.

“What’s your average grade?”

“E-eighty percent sir!”

“And do you take sports?”

“No sir, I wish to be a biologist.”

“I see, I see...”

“DAD, YOU AREN”T INTERVIEWING MY PARTNER, ARE YOU? YOU SCARED OFF THE LAST THREE I DON’T WANNA DEAL WITH THAT AGAIN!”

“SORRY, KIDDO! I’LL LET THEM GO NOW! I’ve got my fucking eyes on you. Don’t screw this up.”

Hope y’all enjoy this, if y’all want I can write some headcanons for if Fatgum’s kid becomes a villain-

[cloneslugs]

Wolf + Yayoi + Akiyama :)

this is seriously ill im sorry

Wolf

First Impression: well he seems neat <3

Impression Now: he's very soft and kind.. <3 and very cool very nice man i love you wolf

Favorite Moment: the whole rice thing b/t the divine child and him and kuro, this isnt a moment but i enjoy how he speaks to people he makes me (: 

Idea for a Story: I'd like to see him first meeting Kuro ^__^ that would be cute.. or how he grew up w Owl bc it seems so … … … well anyway he has a lot of cool background that would be fun to explore 

Unpopular Opinion: i think people draw him smiling too much in some interactions i dont want him to even remotely have a sense of humor or even emote well tbqh, not that i think hes unhappy or anything but like well … + also people are freaks w him but that's another story.. i dont think he would date grandpas

Favorite Relationship: kuro <3 it's cute how he actually engages in conversation w Kuro i like how he talks w him and how Kuro talks w him it's nice.. i think his relationship w Owl is interesting but not . good. Emma + Isshin + Sculptor & every other friend he meets i enjoy esp Kotaro ^^

Headcanon: *gives him transgenderism + autism + homosexuality*, selectively mute (:, he also just has a general issue w socializing & when he doesnt know what to say he defaults to repeating people or just ignoring people, he likes being called Wolf by like Kuro and whoever but Isshin deciding to call him Sekiro makes him feel a little something (:, he can "cook" + knows lots of misc skills like sewing and stuff, doesnt like loud noises, doesn't like being in water -_-, i think he has trouble differentiating b/t what he likes v what he dislikes bc hes used to just putting up w things and never really got to acquire preferences ever hes accustomed solely to survival, he's done kuro's hair for him before <3 but he does it very quick and messy but he tries 

Yayoi

First Impression: ig this is her k1 substory idk i just kind of like . wow this lady seems cool ig goodbye 

Impression Now: … hi <3 she holds a very very special place in my heart now i miss her everyday please babygirl come back to me i need you back ive written out how you can come back please 

Favorite Moment: her k1 substory always makes me sad um.. everything in k2 when shes taking charge.. i love watching her interact w kiryu they have a really interesting relationship.. i like when she got on ryuji for his bullshit and i really really like her introduction in k2 i love watching her handle shitty lieutenants <3 i love you.. oh also whenever she looks sad + worries over daigo thank you for being a mom ma'am <3

Idea for a Story: um i have a lot of stuff already written for her bc im a sicko .. um ig most interesting to me is how her relationship w dojima developed & also what she was up to when dojima died and daigo went to prison right after bc i think about that period (+k1 substory) a lot.. </3 seeing what she was doing in 3 when daigo was shot would be nice iwant her to be homophobic to mine i think <3 ik a rggo event covered it but id like to see more of her when she stepped up to he acting chairman & how that went ig more in depth.. or just her general role w the dojima family back when it was relevant and uh yeah <3 

Unpopular Opinion: um i personally would never call her a milf that feels so :x idek to me gross almost not even bc im a homo or anything i just never would it feels too disrespectful aieeeeeee 🙈 also i wish people didn't care for her just as daigos mom or her being more compotent than daigo or whatever idk people are weird about them in a stupid way and i </3 ik shes just a side character but whatever.. also i hate everyone who writes her like "yes i married dojima for power and i crave violence" fuck you im the only right person ever 

Favorite Relationship: um daigo.. i have lots of thoughts they are so nice together ilove them very much <3 kiryu and kashiwagi are very cute w her too they respect her very much its sweet <3 i think nishiki and kiryu helping out w daigo as dojima members when daigo is little has very sweet potential b/t lady dojima and them not saying they outright would be seeking for a maternal figure but um.. also well kashiwagi uhh well i want her to move past her [k2] baggage and um.. um.. 🙈 boyfriend 

Headcanon: she's so bisexual shes very very bisexual and she knows it and no part of it even concerns her shes just bi + also her first major crush was on a girl that went nowhere and it embarrasses her to death <3, her dad is who introduced her to wielding a sword it was a very unorthodox introduction and came about by kind of bittersweet means but she very much enjoys it (he didnt teach her anything more than the very very shoddy basics he really just helped introduce), she comes from a very non-traditional [japanese] family, really bad vanity issues i wont publicly elaborate on, um something about dealing w loneliness, she was like daigo and was top of her class in school, she comes off as prett7 different outside of professional settings + acts a lot colder and meaner than she actually is around work people bc that's the only way she thinks she'll be taken seriously, she was a very excited first time mommy <3 she still loves daigo more than anything, she used to sporadically grow her hair out and chop it all off and grow her hair out and chop it all off growing up mostly as a teen -_-, she doesnt socialize well but shes good at parroting and imitating proper social etiquette,  she has an "older sister", she loved kiryu and then she hated him more than anything and now she likes him again, perfectionist but a lot of things come naturally to her, not very expressive but her eyes give away a lot, she used to really like kazama very fondly until she didnt, shes not much of a hand-to-hand combat fighter but she can handle self defense, cooking does not come naturally to her ):, shes kept every gift + prize daigo has gotten for her, shes not much for gifts (from people not daigo) but she likes flowers 

Akiyama

First Impression: he's funny (: 

Impression Now: he's still just funny <3 but also bisexual i love him he's very endearing and easy to like 

Favorite Moment: hanging out w haruka in rgg5 or any time he is having fun w hana <3 his one substory in rgg5 where you get more of his background is nice or when he first gets together with shinada + tanimura is funny.. anything that's not rgg6 um

Idea for a Story: i want him to hang out w haruka more <3 or just some of his day to day life.. what he splurges on when he does ummm.. background on when he and hana first met + his ex fiance, hin hanging out w the rest of the group .. anything fun i think ^_^

Unpopular Opinion: he has annoying/questionable moments but so does everyone in the series um.. akiyama/hana is superior when he crushes on her hard vs her to him idk if that's even unpopular ummm idk idek any freak stuff w him nobody talks about akiyama much 

Favorite Relationship: hana (: trans bisexuality <3 him + kiryu & haruka are sweet together, him and tanimura are fun.. i think hes a nice central point for both 4+5 protags i just enjoy him <3 hes good w people 

Headcanon: hes the least athletic i think that's canon though, tried to keep a fish tank in the office but hana ended up taking over + then getting rid of it but by then he wanted an office cat or bird or something "more interesting" so that hed feel like taking care if it but by that point she put her foot down on animals, tries out lots of misc hobbies that he eventually drops (golf, tennis(very embarrassing), gardening, etc (mostly sports bc he feels like a lazy piece of shit sometimes + gets splurges of Yeah Fitness!!!)), all kinds of math teams and etc growing up he actually really likes math, has a lot of gifts he chickened out on giving hana just kind of buried in the office, bad at video games, can't cook, he buys lots of cheap things bc he doesnt really see the point of splurging on fancy unnecessary stuff, magazine hoarder bc he just picks up whatever for a mindless read when at the store and forgets if he's gotten it before 

[dirtybiowareconfessions]

hey, ik it's not an advice blog but everyone (mods+followers) is always so helpful and kind so... here I am. im a trans guy and I started crushing on a guy in uni. we never talked (ever) but I really wanna talk to him? yet idk how to do that, and i'm struggling with a lot of issues of self-hate like, i don't have a chance anyway because i'm trans/non-white/shy etc. but mostly idk how to talk to strangers, so any advice or word of affirmation would be great? i hope you have a great day ❤️

Dude, if you want to talk to him - just talk to him. Yeah, I know, big help when you're shy! But it's really the only way to go about it.

Do you have any classes together? Ask him if you can borrow his notes, what's his favorite class or teacher. Ask him about what he's studying/planning to major in, you know, school stuff, maybe you could share lecture notes or - hey, do you want to study for an exam together?

If you don't have any classes together, still cool! You can just say hi, could you help me find the library/gym/whatever, what's the food situation around here, where do you buy your lunch, wanna grab a bite together sometime?

You’ve seen each other multiple times, so it’s weird to ask newbie questions? No trouble! Hey, aren’t you Kevin from my math class? Ah, Michael, hi, I’m Steve, I knew you looked familiar. I was actually just about to go to the [building he’s closest to], are you heading there? Yes - let’s walk together! No - alright, see you around! (you can always try later) OR - oh, I’m just waiting for a friend, she has one more class than I do - actually, I could use some coffee, do you know where I can get one? Yes - let’s get coffee. IDK - ah, shame, I love coffee, especially [your favorite]. No - whaaat, you don’t drink coffee - no way, what do you drink then?

If you smoke, it’s a goldmine of opportunities. You can ask for a lighter, a cigarette, you can go for a smoke together. But it stinks and it’s harmful to your health and the health of people around you, so don’t start if you don’t!!!!!!!

Most people actually love helping each other, so ask for a pen or a notebook you could borrow, or ask for directions, just - something small to start the conversation. And then you can be like, oh wow, you're so cool and helpful, thanks man, see you around! Give him some praise and make him feel special, flash him a smile, fist-bump him in the shoulder. Then, next time you see him, wave at him and say hi, and so on.

Of course, you should be honest, there is no point in coming up with elaborate schemes only to be caught in a lie. There is nothing shameful about wanting to meet and get to know new people! Just tell him you want to make friends and he seems like a cool guy, so it would be great to hang out sometime, catch a movie or something. Ask him about what he likes to do, what he's interested in - lbr, guys love to talk about themselves, so he'll probably jump at the chance. Your university must have some events/activities on campus, see if you can invite him there.

Prepare a script of sorts, think of the questions you can ask him during a lull in a  conversation. What kind of music he likes, does he do any sports, does he play videogames? BioWare games are great, you love RPGs, what’s his favorite genre? What’s his favorite band? Oh, never heard of them, what’s their best album to start from - oh hey, I love that song! You know, all that standard get-to-know-the-person stuff.

Just make sure he's not in a hurry to get to class when you approach him first, and then it's more or less smooth sailing from there. Just chat and enjoy yourself. It may develop into a true friendship or a romance, or it may not, but - you won't find out until you try. So try!

If he's a good person, he won't make an issue of any of your traits. And if he has an issue with your skin color or gender, then he's not a good person and he's not worth your time, so good riddance. Either way, it’s win-win.

Don't sit steaming in your doubts while your life passes by. If you like someone, talk to them! It doesn’t have to be a life-changing profound conversation, just saying hi to each other on a regular basis is already something.

Good luck, cumrade!

-edi

[liketolaugh-writes]

Hey there! I'd just like to pass by to say that I've finished my bimonthly reread of cosmic composite and?? I've forgotten how much I love it?? It's such a lovely work, and the whole thing pleases me to a degree im not sure I can explain. Do you have any other deleted scenes or drabbles for that universe? Any particular HCs you wouldn't mind sharing?? I hope your day is wonderful!! 💕💕

Thank you!! I appreciate it a lot - I’m glad you still like it even though I don’t so much myself anymore, lmao.

I haven’t thought about CC in a while, not seriously, but I went digging through old outlines and notes for this just to see. They’re pretty vague, because they’re so far in the future, but I had them.

The outline for the rest of this arc-

-         And then, the first day of school, includingmeeting the teacher and a short talk, the start of class, recess, and rightafter.

-         Some despair and stressing.

-         A few days later, where Yuu has a foul encounterwith another student and Lavi rescues him.

-         Homework and more grumpiness, and some talkingamong the parents and kids.

-         Lavi admits difficulty and adds a little aboutYuu’s problem, and some talk with both of them trying to help them.

-         The teacher pulls Yuu aside, concerned, and Yuusnaps and is defensive.

-         Allen and Yuu arguing about the problem boy, orrather, Yuu complaining and Allen trying to help.

-         Lenalee and Lavi talking about Lavi’s problemsat school, which basically amounts to ‘I don’t know, Lenalee.’

-         Teresa pranks Lavi, and Lavi, alreadyfrustrated, starts to get upset, but she’s laughing, and King’s ‘bragging’about it, and slowly, he sees the humor in it. And that’s Lavi’s friend group.

-         And the parents are really starting to worryabout Yuu, and he’s getting defensive even with them now, he says he’s fine.

-         Yuu just dislikes the sight of the problem boy,now, so when he sees him picking on Rosie, he just goes and chases him off forno reason.

-         And then later Rosie comes and they can bondover drawing, forming a loose bond that I can solidify later.

-         And Yuu comes home and Lavi delights inexplaining about his new friend for him, and Yuu’s very noncommittal buteveryone else is pleased and relieved.

-         And that might actually be the end of the arc?

Yuu’sfriend: Elena, a girl who’s quite shy, with follower tendencies, but a quickmind and a love of physical play, tag and hopscotch and such.

Lavi’sfriends: ‘King’, a boy who’s boastful and loud. And Teresa, amischief-minded girl with a semi-strict family. (Together they are thetroublemaking trio slash defense squad.)

Teacher:Mrs. Lorelei, who errs on the side of whimsy but does have a sharp eye forpotentially worrisome factors, and a sense of when to keep quiet/feignoblivion.

-------

The gist of the events in the Lenalee + Ward subplot-

(targeting4) Ward meets Lenalee face-to-face again, Lenalee activates her Innocence infront of Ward

(targeting 5) Ward tries to get Lenalee to come to his side

(targeting 7) Ward kidnaps Lenalee and treats her creepily well (board game),Ward introduces Lenalee to his organization (Bookman), Ward tries (and fails)to teach Lenalee to fight better than she already can, Lenalee tells Wardexactly what she thinks of what he’s doing

(targeting 13) Ward does somethingterrible and Lenalee screams at him for it, Ward helps Lenalee out of a badsituation

(targeting 16) Ward begins contacting Lenalee regularly, Ward solvesa (big) problem for Lenalee, Ward drops by a big event for Lenalee, (Lenalee still hates his guts but she’s not as hostile)

(age 18)Ward activates the Reality Gauntlet and is killed.

--------

The gist of the events around Alma + Yuu-

Kanda gets word of Alma’s presence

Kanda meets Alma face-to-face for the firsttime (“I remember you. You killed me”) and they fight

Kanda finds Alma in avulnerable position and helps instead of hurting them

Alma and Allen encounterand Allen earns himself the title of ‘ally’ (“a mutual friend asked me to”/“Yuuwill always be your friend”)

Alma escapes HYDRA with Loki

Kanda and Alma havea talk that ends in fighting (“you know who I was”)

Kanda and Alma have a talkthat doesn’t end in fighting (“who am I?” “whoever you want to be”)

Alma comesout as trans

Kanda and Alma fight side by side

Alma rescues Kanda

Alma comesto SHIELD

Alma and Allen make friends

Kanda and Alma get together

Alma andLenalee make friends

------

And the basic outline for Loki’s arc-

Lokibreaks free of Thanos’ influence and runs around angrily on Earth bc Thor hasno idea

Loki encounters the Avengers and fights back against them

Lokiencounters the Avengers and does not actually fight but it does not go well

Lokiencounters Alma incidentally w/ mentions of his other children

Loki is enticedto fight against HYDRA one time only

Loki picks up Alma

Loki and Alma fightthe Avengers

Loki defends Alma against HYDRA

Loki confesses to betterunderstanding his father now

Thanos sends forces after Loki

Loki joinsSHIELD

Loki pseudosolves the crossing-universes issue (bc of his understanding of magic)

----

And that’s... probably everything I still have, unless I go looking through the old Big Documents (where I kept everything so I wouldn’t have to open a new blank document for everything lmao). Keep in mind that I didn’t work too much on this stuff since it was so far in the future, and I figured I’d need to move stuff around anyway.

[kadywicker]

Would you like to talk about your ocs? 👀

OH BOY........ okay I can't give FULL details bc they're cringey but two ppl know the full story here sjdhsjsjs ANYWAY. my faves.

belial is the son of satan, who created him as a sort of test run for the antichrist (this is gomens adjacent and he then realized w the ~failure of belial that maybe the thing was making him human! so then had adam w lilith. anyway. it sort of strayed far from gomens so u can just replace adam w the generic antichrist and the point remains). belial is like 2000 years old but ~20 ish in human terms. YES we stole a demon name for him no I don't care to know anything about actual belial. we just call him eli and he's a Good Boy. I mean obviously a lil evil he was raised by satan (sort of. satan is not a responsible father. the responsibility was given to others who are distinctly Not Him). but he's sweet! he's got Complexes bc he never lived up to expectations, had no loving influence in his life (except one but like I said this is cringe we aren't getting into it all). on the outside he's an arrogant brat of a boy but like once u get to kno him he's a sweetheart. he wants nothing more than to be Loved and Seen. which is where dilly comes in but I'm getting there. his fc is c//ody f//ern which is hilariously accidental and nothing to do w him playing the antichrist but also it's super funny and gives good material for inspo. there's also a human au to this that we honestly talk abt more than this currently in which satans satan-ness is instead running a crime empire and being a dick so eli's just a spoiled rich boy w a lot of trauma who tries to ammend for his father's shittiness when his father's imprisoned. yes we made a human au out of literal lucifer no don't question it.

THEN THERES DILLY played by r//ami m//alek and he's a sweetie also. his fc has changed a couple times but we settled on rami recently. ANYWHOMST. dilly does actually appear in the fic this is all sort of based around here (chapter 5!). we have an ever expanding group of aus so it Depends on which one ur talking abt. in the fic verse he's an angel named diligence that everyone calls dilly. hes one of the leaders of the virtues (which yes we know are just a class of angel but listen it's more fun to name them after the actual heavenly virtues). he ends up w belial eventually. hes got some commitment issues and reservations abt things but he loves belial a Whole Lot. the alternative to this is since this fic is a reverse au the "regular" version of him would be a demon (named laziness see it's the opposite of diligence) who's part of the Minor Sins (so not the 7 deadly sins). p much the same bc heaven and hell Are The Same in gomens but w the caveat that since he works under belial he sort of thinks he's a huge asshole for a while until he gets to know him and he's like oh shit I Love Him. in the human au we went w that version and he works for lucifer (ish) and helps belial manage things and turn it around post lucifer going to jail. in this verse he was orphaned pretty young by Terrible Parents but got adopted by a rlly nice lesbian couple who have a daughter (they're trans lesbians that run a tattoo shop and I do love them they're great).

then there's bilhah!! I love them they're baby. uuuh they're an azcrow kid lmao yes I know that's cringey. NO there's not any mpreg. it's god fucking around for the laughs. anyway. she goes by she/they and she's a good kid. not as much to say abt her bc we haven't talked abt her much. no fc! but they have big ass curls that are white/silver and is just an all around angel. mischievous little shit that gives her parents migraines but she can do No Wrong in aziraphales eyes (or demon aziraphale who we usually talk abt here, asmodeus).

ANYWAY im so sorry for the rambling lmao but they're good kids!!! I'm always nervous talking abt ocs that exist within a fandom but like. I think they're neat! me and the bf have been constructing an intricate universe based off this fic going feral w each other so that's why there's so many different branches here ajshsjjsjs

[feralhogs]

1 THROUGH 55 AND 1 THROUGH 30 GO GO GO

LETS FUCKIN GO

tumblr please actually make this a keep reading

55 interesting questions you should drop in someone’s inbox

1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

I ALREADY WATCH NETFLIX AND AGONIZE OVER MY STORY

2. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you’ve own/owned?

MY JACKETS. ANY CHEST OBSCURING, BROAD SHOULDERED, COZY JACKET

3. What hobbies would you get into if time and money wasn’t an issue?

DANCING, ID NEED TO GO TO CLASSES OR SOMETHING

4. What would your perfect room look like?

IM ACTUALLY PRETTY HAPPY WITH MY ROOM BUT IVE ALWAYS WANTED A LAVA LAMP, AND 1800 MORE PLANTS COULDNT HURT

5. Do you play sports?

NO

6. What fiction place would you love to go to?

SINNOH REGION

7. What Job would you be terrible at?

DEBT COLLECTION. I WOULD BE GIVING SHIT TO PEOPLE FOR FREE. I COULDNT BEAR BEING ENCOURAGED TO FORCE PEOPLE WHO CANT PAY FOR SOMETHING TO PAY MORE

8. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would it be?

SERVING. HOW MANY PLATES CAN YOU CARRY AT ONCE

9. What’s the most annoy habit other people have?

WALKING IN MY SPACE BUBBLE WHEN MY SENSES ARE OVERLOADED

10. What skill would you like to master?

A SECOND LANGUAGE

11. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?

THE ONE FROM MY DREAM WHERE I KISSED A GIRL DYED MY HAIR BLUE AND WE ELOPED TO BRAZIL TO RAISE SHEEP

12. What’s your favorite drink ?

THAT CHRISTMAS SHIT. PEPPERMINT MOCHA AT STARBUCKS. A FRIEND GOT IT FOR ME ONCE. NOW I ORDER IT A BILLION TIMES.

13. What state or country would you never like to go back to?

I HAVE NOT TRAVELLED MUCH EVER

14. What songs do you have completely memorized?

I DONT REMEMBER LYRICS SO MUCH, BUT I COULD PROBABLY REMEMBER HOW MANY SONGS GO COMPLETELY

15. Are you usually early or late?

LATE. IM GETTING BETTER THOUGH

16. What takes up too much of your time?

GETTING OUT OF BED

17. What do you wish you knew more about?

SWORDS

18. What are some small things that make your day better?

COFFEE. SOMEONE SAYING SOMETHING NICE TO ME.

19. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should?

QUEER EYE BUT BY TRANS PEOPLE FOR TRANS PEOPLE

20. Who has impressed you the most with what they’ve accomplished?

YOU. AND ME. ITS GROWTH

21. What age do you wish you can permanently be?

21, SO I HAVE TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCKS GOING ON

22. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?

13 REASONS, THE BOOK WAS TRIGGERING SO I WONT RISK IT

23. What would be your ideal way to spend you weekend?

TAKING A WALK, HAVING COFFEE, WATERING PLANTS… IM HAPPY

24. What’s something in your life that’s considered a luxury?

I HAVE PERFUME...

25. Is there anything you’re too young/old for?

TO YOUNG TO NEVER DRINK. TOO OLD FOR POKEMON

26. What’s your favorite genre book or movie?

I DONT HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN FOR EITHER BUT I SEEM TO LIKE URBAN FANTASY A LOT

27. How often do you people watch?

I THINK IM SO POLITE BUT HONESTLY, I QUIETLY SCRUTINIZE SO MANY PEOPLE ON THE TRAIN EVERY DAY AND GUESS AT THEIR PERSONAL HABITS AND SELF IMAGE.

28. What’s the best single day on the calendar?

MY BIRTHDAY, SAGITTARIUS SEASON RULES BABY

29. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?

I DONT KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING PPL HAVENT HEARD OF BUT IM INTERESTED IN BLACK HOLES

30. Do you relax after a hard day?

FOOD. NETFLIX. DECOMPOSING ON TUMBLR

31. What’s the best book or series you’ve ever read?

I HAVENT READ A BOOK I REALLY LOVE IN AGES. HARRY POTTER AND ARTEMIS FOWL WERE MY FAVOURITES GROWING UP, BUT CORNELIA FUNKES BOOKS SLAPPED AND HIS DARK MATERIALS WAS GORGEOUS

32. Where’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?

IDAHO?

33. What’s the most heart warming thing you’ve ever seen?

LUCIFER WAS LIKE YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR BORING MIDDLE NAME JANE AND KNOWS THAT EVERY MURDER BREAKS YOUR HEART AND YOU SIMPLY DESERVE BETTER SO NO MORE MOMENTS WHILE THEYRE HAVING A MOMENT AND CHLOE IS WATCHING THIS FUCKING IDIOT AND IVE WATCHED THIS BEFORE SO I KNOW SHES GONNA KISS HIM AND THEN THEY KISS

34. What’s the most annoying question that people ask you?

ANY SMALL TALK QUESTIONS

35. Would you give a 40 minute presentation with no preparation?

YES. ID MAKE THAT SHIT RIGHT UP. SKILLS

36. What’s something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

GIVE ME A HUG AND SOME CHOCOLATE

37. Would you rather go Hand Gliding or Whitewater rafting?

HANG GLIDING

38. Dream car?

SOMETHING I DONT HAVE TO WORRY WILL FALL INTO PIECES AT ANY MOMENT

39. What’s something so many people are obsessed with and you just don’t understand why?

STRAIGHT LOVE SONGS

40. What are you most looking forward to in 10 years from now?

HAVING A CAT

41. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but haven’t gotten to it?

DECORATING THE DOLLHOUSE I RESCUED FROM THE BATHROOM

42. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you all week?

IM NOT VERY FAR THROUGH THE WEEK AND I HAVENT ENJOYED MOST OF IT BUT PEOPLE SAYING ADORABLE THINGS

43. How different was your life one year ago?

NOT A LOT DIFFERENT, IM JUST LONELY IN THE CITY NOW, MINUS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, ONE YEAR ON T

44. What/who would you rate 10/10?

MY CACTUS JAKEN. I DROPPED HIM SO MANY TIMES AN ENTIRE HALF OF HIS SPIKES ARE FLAT SCARS. AND LOOK AT HIM. THRIVING

45. What kind of art do you enjoy the most?

GENUINELY MADE ART

46. What do you hope never changes?

MY T PRESCRIPTION

47. What movie title best describes your life?

I LOOKED THROUGH NETFLIX AND I PICK TWILIGHT

48. What website do you visit most often?

TUMBLR

49. What’s something you’re looking forward to this year?

MY BIRTHDAY

50. What’s something you’d like to unlearn?

FINDING A REASON TO CANCEL EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING

51. Where would you spend all your time if you could?

WALKING BY SOME RUNNING WATER

52. What age would you like to live to?

80. THATS MY MENTAL HEALTH ANSWER

53. What’s something you’re most likely to become famous for?

SOMETHING CREATIVE WOULD BE AWESOME

54. What’s something you’re most likely to be arrested for?

CRIMES

55. What’s something you really want but can’t afford?

A CAT

Lgbt+ ask game

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?

I’m even a little shaken by a questioning state right now but for a while I’ve felt the best fit is the androgynous label -- I read a description of it being the purple on a pink to blue scale, both at once but not specifically either one, and something else by itself. I’m also happy with a cryptic masculine grey area. My pronouns are he/him.

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?

During the Puberty 1.0 nightmare, I was basically living someone else’s life, and any attraction I felt wasn’t in relation to myself. I felt disconnected from my body and gender and everything too, and I felt a lot of social pressure to experience a certain type of attraction, fit into a certain role, et cetera, and none of these feelings existed in me at all, so I used to identify as ace. When I realized I was trans, I was too caught up in the, transition safely, my life is a lie, stopping dysphoria drama to focus on this, but I had an idea I might be a gay guy judging from my gay creative writing until I caught feelings for a girl and realized this wasn’t the first time that had happened. Some bi positivity and nonbinary rage later, I am reminded that gender is a joke.

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?

Yes of course A LOT. Starting with my parents, who do it aggressively and maliciously. And plenty from strangers and customers, mostly after hearing my voice pre-transition. It used to hurt terribly because I was dealing with so much other stuff at the time, and one little thing could be the last straw, so I used to react strongly and harshly, to people you express yourself to anyway. On T, I’ve been so much more chill and confident, and it’s less painful to accept that some people just don’t know any better, although that doesn’t change its effect.

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?

I don’t remember, I think it was a high school friend. I vaguely remember texting someone in a bathroom during a crying session at work. My high school friends were all warm and supportive.

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?

It was scary as hell. I’m sure coming out (with your gender specifically) is scary by nature because it’s a huge truth to be telling that can really change how the people you love perceive you, for better or for worse, but for me, I’m also thinking with the dread and certainty that my family would be too conservative and potentially dangerous. Coming out to my family was one of the worst, most painful things I’ve ever been through -- being kicked out and laughed at, a lot of drama, confrontations, Bible readings and being ganged up on at odd hours, trying to comfort my mom who took it as her personal failure -- I was shaking with adrenaline 24/7. I think of the “I’ll suffer through anything as long as it has meaning” comment that was about angsty fanfics, but knowing the truth about myself was a source of unshakable strength and it felt refreshing and even triumphant to say, like I was giving myself permission to exist for the first time. I came out a bunch of times, though...

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?

My family reacted mostly badly, my sister is a little confused but has the spirit, and my friends have been wonderful.

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?

It’s more of a gender thing, but I hate it when people imply that I shouldn’t be on T or are subtly trying to talk me out of it with their questions. After all the disrespectful as fuck bullshit I heard from my parents, I’m tired of this.

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.

Zombie apocalypse denim? Gay Layers

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?

I’m not really emotionally invested in these “ships” you cool kids are talking about. I like canon, age-appropriate ones.

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?

I’ve never really worn makeup. I brazenly never bothered to growing up, and if it had an effect on me socially, I was too tuned out to care. My sister always wanted to do my hair and makeup, but I wasn’t interested and wouldn’t let her, much to her frustration. I wore some for a musical once though, and I had no idea what I was doing and it was extremely uncomfortable. I felt what I know now is dysphoria and ended up using the lipstick to draw. Another aspect to this is my family forbade it (or my dad made the decision for everyone), not that it made my sister feel less pressured to wear it, so maybe it was some female presentation I could easily get out of. For that reason, I don’t have super strong feelings about it. Not understanding it probably resulted in me feeling left out a lot among my peers.

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?

Yes. Before my realization, it was a numb horror I wasn’t consciously aware of, ruining nice things growing up to the point where I feel like I missed out on being a teenager. I remember it as feeling nauseous while sitting in a corner, feeling like none of my clothes ever fit for some mysterious reason. Living with my family in the closet, it defined my life, and I was obsessed with my presentation. These days, it does not bother me on that level at all, except a minor freakout now and then if I get really wild and wear feminine clothes. Or I still feel it in more subtle ways, when I default to customer service voice, or when guys my age are twice my height and I look aaaall the way up at them and wonder what gender they see me as.

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?

Trust me, I have heard truck loads of dumb shit and the winner is the Gay Agenda is R****a’s propaganda to weaken the integrity of North America. Considering what is happening over there, it was enragingly stupid.

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?

I feel like I can be myself around lgbt+ people. I don’t feel like I have to hide stuff or put on a show, and I’m not afraid because it’s familiar territory.

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?

Aside from obvious problems like TERFs, ace discourse. Ace people are part of the community if they want to be and that’s enough on that, my skin is already breaking out.

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?

I finally went to a Pride event this year! I was surprised it was the first one I’d been to, then remembered my parents discouraged me from going anywhere, never mind to a gay where.

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?

I can’t think of many people right now, but Leslie Feinberg seems awesome, and some quotes from Stone Butch Blues are very validating.

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?

No. Technically I have been in one, but it was shitty and ridiculous, and basically platonic, and I don’t want it to count.

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?

I barely read… I read Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe in high school and it was honestly so precious.

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?

Yes. I got kicked out (but then kicked back in again), had my stuff stolen and damaged, was verbally harassed… and I was indirectly fired by an employer, but We Will Never Know Why...

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?

Queer Eye! I don’t know of many though, and some important ones, I just haven’t watched.

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?

My mutuals :D

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?

I’m okay calling myself queer.

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?

No, but I did see some drag performances at the one (1) Pride event I went to, and they were jaw-dropping.

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?

I’m not sure what this question means, but I decide what fits right by what makes me feel the most alive and emotionally real and in the moment. What makes me feel the most attractive to be honest. There’s a post about dysphoria I saw going around, the things on it are basically what I use to figure things out.

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?

I am actually! Not anytime soon, but I’m the responsible type for sure, and judging by the way I love growing plants and being around animals, I’m probably a nurturing person. I actually like kids too, lol, they’re just so high-energy.

What identity advice would you give your younger self?

You’re a boy. Go!

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?

I think people are going to have different ways of expressing themselves that make them happy, but… I don’t think they should infringe on basic human decency. When I hear “role” I think of acting a certain way because someone told you to, something I want to disagree with on the spot.

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?

People move out of my way on the sidewalk and take me seriously now. Privilege or self-confidence… I never want to forget what it used to be like, or get too entitled.

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?

That it’s simply living one’s reality. I think that trips up a lot of straight people -- that some people just come like this, and they don’t have to make it fit into their personal identity.

Why are proud to be lgbt+?

Because I worked hard to be alive and happy right now. I’m proud of choosing to get through those rough patches, take care of myself, heal, take walks, cook breakfast, learn healthy coping mechanisms, that was out of love for myself and a defiant conviction that I have a place in this world.

[things-we-used-tc-share]

Boys Your Age

Trans!Patton is my aesthetic so here we go. Royality

TW: Discussions of Dysphoria and poor mental health. It will be an overall rlly happy fic because honestly, trans angst makes me feel worse about everything

Patton meets a boy in his drama class, who could not care about anything else in the world but himself, and Patton of course, he really is very interested in Patton. 

Patton gets on with a lot of people, he’s a very kind person and sometimes that can attract the best and worst of others. He had previously learned the hard way that being kinda can sometimes end in people using you like a rug, in that they walk all over you. His parents told him he had too much love to give, although, in a fond way, of course, they were proud of their son no matter what anyone else may have to say about him. 

It’s his first year of college, in fact right now it’s his first day, and his hands are shaking whilst playing with the hem of his jumper, entering his classroom for the first time. There were roughly about 20 people in the class, some awkwardly detached from the others, and soon chatting excitedly about the course content or otherwise. The majority, however, were crowded around a boy balancing on a table, dramatically proclaiming his love for a...broom? His left arm strung outward, his face a comedic exaggeration of pain. Enthralled by the other, Patton joins the crowd, a wide smile across his face. 

The boy seems to notice as he gasps exaggeratedly “ A prince!” The crowd parts slightly as the brunet gestures wildly for him to join him. Patton laughs and seats himself at the edge of the table, not wanting to risk standing up on high ground given his track record with clumsiness. “Fair prince, how may I assist you, do you need saving from a wicked witch? Are you cursed?” Unable to contain his laughter, the caramel eyed boy ducks behind his soft ebony curls, flushing red before pulling a stern face, nodding solemnly. “Never fear, for I, Prince Roman, will defeat the evil that is-!” 

“Okay Roman, that's enough,” A man with a stern expression broken only by a small smile appears seemingly from nowhere “I’m sure your poor prince is capable of defeating evil by himself, not everyone needs saving,” The boy, Roman, bows none the less as he scrambles down from the table. “Well, it’s nice to know at least one person in this class checked their embarrassment at the door, please take a seat class, I’m Professor Sanders and I’ll be your tutor over the next three years, I know, tragedy,” Roman looks over at Patton, gesturing for him to take a seat next to the other. 

“What’s your name?” he stage-whispers dramatically. “I’m Roman,” The darker haired boy takes his seat next to, whom would later be determined as, the class clown. He pulls his satchel off of his shoulder and places it on the floor, holding his hand out for his new acquaintance to shake. 

“Patton, Patton Hart,” 

“Charmed, Patton, and I’m already quite sure you’ve stolen my heart,” He shakes his hand, a low blush forming on the shorter’s pale cheeks, looking away for a moment. “Now, we should probably actually listen to the Teach,”

--

Roman was quite an enigmatic character indeed, as he and Patton grew closer as friends and his flirting stepped up a level every time they interacted, Patton was growing closer to finally telling the other about himself. They’re sitting outside but the outdoor fountain munching on their lunch when the smaller boy finally tells him what has been weighing (no pun intended) on his chest. “I’m trans,” He says softly “It’s why I’ve not really been engaging in your...advances, I guess, I didn’t want to disappoint you,” Roman’s eyebrows furrow and it’s the first time he thinks he’s seen the other actually genuinely serious. 

“Are you a boy?” He finally asks “Whether or not you were born or previously identified as anything else, are you currently a boy?” Patton nods, fiddling with his fingers “Then you can’t physically disappoint me, you’re a boy, I’m gay and as long as you don’t break my poor fragile heart into a million pieces, then we’re good,” Patton smiles, ducking behind his curls again. “I accept you no matter what, and anyone, unless they’re purposefully dickheads, then I don’t support or love them very much,”

He’s bundled into a hug, the boy with light brown eyes tucks his head underneath Roman’s chin with a gentle ‘thank you’ “I was just...scared...I mean, I thought you would realize yourself and bring it up, but when you didn’t...” He’s silenced by a small kiss atop his head, filling his heart with butterflies as it thudded in his chest. 

“I had speculations, I will admit, but I mostly put it down to you being an effeminate gay man, you would tell me at your own pace if it were anything else, and either way it wasn’t an issue for me, my job was just to woo you and hope for the best,” Giggles erupt from Patton’s throat. 

“Well, you did your job very well,” He blushes “But I’m a lot to cope with, in a relationship, dysphoria is not easy to cope with, not just for me, but for the people who support me, and you have to know that and be prepared for the fact there are going to be days where I’m really not okay with myself or my body and I’ll need a lot of support,” Roman listens carefully and nods. 

“I’m a hundred percent prepared to look after and support you in any way you need,” He says sincerely, and Patton can feel it, in his voice, see it in his eyes, he truly was prepared to do so. “All relationships come with challenges, and I can truly be serious when I need to be, I wouldn’t get into a relationship if I was not entirely prepared to deal with any and all challenges that come with it, now, I’ve never dated someone who is trans before, so I will need some help to understand how to help you, I will listen to whatever you need me to listen too, I will do anything that you need me to do, and I will support you in every and anyway I can, as a friend or something more, don’t ever feel the need to hide something from me because you feel like I can’t handle it, okay?”

Patton nods, taking Roman’s hand “Okay, I’d like to try this, then, if you're okay with that?” Roman smiles, no beams, and nods, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of Patton’s head. 

“Finally,” He sighs contentedly, an arm around Patton’s shoulder as they resume their food. 

Taglist: 

@unikornavenger // @mycatshuman // @spectralheartt // @creativity-killed-thekitten // @theresneverenoughfandoms //@punsterterry // @charmingprincey // @aclickonapostwillchangeyourlife  // @heck-im-lost // @k9cat// @stilljittery // @romansleftshoulderpad // @sanderssideslibrary  // @max-is-tired // @therealmoshar 

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[turing-tested]

hey i don’t want this to come across hateful but i know in the past you’ve spoken as though you could be a he/him lesbian, or as though you had a personal stake in the argument, and recently you’ve said that you shared the same experience as trans men. this Really Isn’t Okay At All from my perspective as a binary trans man, but maybe i’ve misunderstood something? i just feel really bad and 100% fucked about it but like you too much to put it into words. :(

[the-scottish-costume-guy]

My Trans Story

Story of my social and medical transition under the cut, I know its not trans day of visibility anymore but consider this a belated contribution. I hope it helps anyone who’s questioning, or even anyone whos curious about the experience. This is very long and has some mention of dysphoria, abuse, bullying but also has a happy ending so thats your warning:

The earliest I remember giving any indication of being trans was at five or six years old on my way to primary school with my mother (who I will mention was a fairly good mother at the time - this will be relevant later). I turned to her in my little green and white uniform dress and said “I’m a boy, aren’t I mum?” I’m not sure what prompted the question really curiosity maybe but my mother laughed it off - something I dont blame her for, kids say silly things all the time. I wouldn’t say I was a super boyish kid. Yeah I liked a bit of rough and tumble play, I was into pokemon cards, then yu-gi-oh, beyblades - which were all considered “boy” things when I was at school. I liked to play british bulldog and tag, and as I got older I’d get into Warhammer, Dungeons and Dragons, The elder scrolls and other nerdy things which are seen as more unisex now but again in the time were considered “boy” interests. But I liked having long blond hair, and I was curious about make-up. I liked to bake and sew and weave, and as a child I even enjoyed knitting. I cried easily and got hurt often - I was accused of attention seeking through most of my childhood though even looking at myself critically I can only ever remember wanting validation. When I was hurt, when I’d achieved something I was proud of - my motivations were called into question when I sought out help or interest. I remember being heartbroken when art I’d worked on was dismissed or I was told the bad bruise I’d gotten was nothing to be upset over and to stop seeking attention. It set me on a path of questioning everything I did and why I did it.

Unfortunately I have a lot of memory gaps in the lead up to high school and through much of school.

Fairly early on in school though I came out as bisexual. Honestly I think a part of me was threatened by cis guys masculinity and that drove me to women. I had a fairly even number of girlfriends and boyfriends. One relationship the boy I was with implied being ready to try sex and we ended up breaking up not long after when I distanced myself. I didn’t know how to explain the discomfort with my own body that I didnt even understand. How I didn’t want to be touched in certain places or do certain things. I felt like a freak.

It didn’t help that I was already bullied pretty much from the get go in highschool, from age 11 I did have many friends and there were periods where I had none. I was bullied for my hair, for not having friends, for being gay, for being depressed. Hell sometimes I was bullied for being bullied - high school is weird. 

I was also... “bullied” by a “friend” who would hit me, talk down to me, at times wouldn’t let me sit on furniture. Once she choked me to the point of passing out among other things. Somehow I was still convinced she must like me on some level - why else would she hang out with me? I wish I’d known better. She introduced me to the concept of being transgender but not in a way I identified with. She told me about a documentary of “Boy becoming girls and girls becoming boys.” she told me “The girls that become boys are always still pretty, you can tell they were girls. But the boys that become girls, you cant tell they were boys they just look like ugly girls.” I imagine shes less ignorant now but its stuck with me.

Eventually around age 16 Two trans people spoke at my school. They talked about how they always felt different, things they’d disliked about themselves - the relief of coming out. I understood completely but my brief excitement was dashed by their talking about harassment and fear. I wrote my email address on a slip of paper and ‘please help’ which I put in the box they were collecting at the back of the room for any questioning youth. They never emailed me. I made an appointment with my doctor.

I actually begged my doctor to fix me, and he referred me to a GIC (Gender Identity Clinic) in Edinburgh. It took a full year to actually be seen there. I told some of my close friends about my concerns and confusion, and came out as genderfluid. I used a random R based male name to try and settle - knowing that as it was fandom related I’d change it later. When I spoke to the specialist at the GIC, I came out as a Trans Man, I felt validated. I came out to my family not long after and it was not well received. My cousin (who had spent every summer with us for as long as I could remember and I viewed like a sibling) died when I was 14. My godmother (his mother) died a year after. Within the ten years since my cousins death, he, my uncle on my mothers side, my great grandfather, my godmother, my gran and my grandad have all passed away. When I came out to my dad he begged me not to put more strain on our family. My mother turned to drink when I was only 14 and had worsened becoming more and more abusive as time went on. I’d had mental and physical health issues since the age of 8 and my experiences were being written off. My mother got worse, and I ended up being her full time carer for a few years. She was abusive, she hit me, she destroyed my things, she wrote on the walls and threatened me with knives. When a letter for my third GIC appointment came, (the appointment that would have gotten me hormones) I highly suspect it was my mother that destroyed it. I didn’t even know I’d been dropped from the list until six months later when I called to ask when my next appointment would be. I’d apparently missed it and for that reason they’d silently, without fuss, taken me off their active patients list. I was upset but handling my mother was enough strain for me not to fight my case for another few years. I went to attempt college for a second time in 2015 - nearly six years after I first came out, and four after my first GIC appointment. I called my best friend over to my house, and together we sighed 15 deedpolls changing my name and title legally. I contacted the clinic and got another appointment for that September. The doctor wanted longer - more appointments to get to know me, but after hearing I’d already had two with another doctor, had waited four years, had told the story I’ve told you now - she told me she wanted to get me on hormones for christmas. She rearranged her schedule and had me come in on december 9th, four days later I had my first doze of testosterone. I didn’t tell my father that I’d started hormones but I had told him prior that I was going to soon. My dad continued not to accept me, as did one of my tutors at college. I kept my head down and muscled through. I’d become so used to not passing that only 4 years later, when Im passing easily and consistently, its both a shock and yet somehow feels like its always been the case. I had top surgery on October 23rd 2017. To my surprise, my father came to the hospital. He’d said he wouldnt visit, but made the 4 hour drive anyway. Last summer, he started introducing my as his son to strangers. He started inviting me out for drinks with him and my brother. He treated me how I had always wanted. Sure he still drops the feminine endearments in - but I’m not going to fault him that. Everyone I meet assumes Im cis until I tell them otherwise. I was finally comfortable enough in 2017 to come out as gay, and I’m now engaged to my wonderful Fiance who is just beginning his own transition journey. My point? It gets better is a tired phrase that feels worn out by use. And no my life isn’t perfect but dysphoria and lack of love is definitely not the problem. Years ago I felt I’d never pass, I told people as much. I thought I was ugly, and unlovable. Now I like how I look, I Know i pass because people call me “sir” “Mr” ect. One of the tutors for the university I applied to was excited to “finally have a man in the class.” 

The journey is long, and at no point can you see the end of it. Eventually you just look back and see how far you’ve come. Stay strong. 

[phantomsheepdiedinafire]

Childhood Trauma Rant (Content Warning- desc. of abandonment and just being trans and hurting, age regression ig, idk just sharing my experiences don't really specifically identify with that.)

I've realised through my tastes in fanfics and other things that what I want and fantasize about is indeed my child self wanting to heal all the shit I went through.

As a kid, I had these two issues.

I used to cry, a lot. I didn't understand why, and I didn't want to. You want to know what happened when I cried and couldn't stop crying? I was put in my room to calm down. It took me HOURS. Imagine being 4 years old in a room pacing around trying to stop crying but you just cant. I was FOUR YEARS OLD. and apparently that's literally abuse because children that young aren't capable of self soothing. You wanna know how I interpreted that? As abandonment and so now obviously I feel like every time I cry I feel like I'm being selfish and don't deserve to cry or be around people because I should know how to be better.

second

I was in a lot of emotional pain as a kid, and now seeing that crying was off the table, I talked. and talked. and talked.

You wanna know what adults did? They let me talk and talk and talk, and they didn't listen to a word of what I was saying. They let me go on and on and on like broken record and i felt like no one was listening to me, they literally were like, and i remember this, you're a kid hahaha funny talking child. Very clearly fine. Normal kids def talk this much.

I was crying for help. No kid desperately vys for adult figures attention like that unless they're, uh huh, *drums* desperate. I wanted somebody to notice how clingy i was, set boundaries, and ask me why i was saying all of those things.

So- you wanna know what fanfics I read growing up? HURT COMFORT MOTHERFUCKERS WHERE THEY ACTUALLY TAKE CARE OF THE PERSON. and second WHEN THEY LISTEN AND SET BOUNDARIES AND CARE ABOUT THE PERSON.

that shit slaps so hard and it's literally just child me trying to have some peace.

AND HE'S STILL SAD. HE'S NOT HAPPY YET.

I feel like I have to carry around this sad little motherfucker with me every where I go and he gets in the way because he's so fuckin touch starved and im like no we're 16 and our parents suck and we have little to no friends we don't have anyone like that. I am 16 now, and I'm realizing just how young I was before and how I was still literally a child.

It probably doesnt help that everyone called him a girl and I now can't identify with the little girl in pictures. When I think of myself as a child now im a little boy not a girl... and I feel like thats an ego I've always had I just havent felt like ive been allowed to identify with until recently. That hurts.

Meanwhile in class, this stupid ass 5 year old brain is like- nice teacher please rock me to sleep-

And I'm in class dealing with the fact that I'm uncomfortably imagining my teacher in this way when I'm trying to learn about the Protestant reformation. Jesus christ please I just want to learn about Constantine do you know how hard that is when your eyes start unfocusing and your brain starts going all fuzz-

when you come back it's embarrasing af , even when its just you and yourself. Because you're 16 years old in sophomore Humanities and you just realized you've been acting like a child all class. Even if no one else knew, you know, and it feels like an infringement on the version of you now. I could've really been present in the social dynamic, but no I tossed it all out. I felt out of control.

I remember going to school exhausted and exasperated that I couldn't stop being, i dont know, fuzzy. I wished I could be more present somehow, but i just couldnt put my finger on what or how or why.

Whats good now is that I know whats happening, i used to just, float in and out, and that was, dangerous? I dont know, it didn't feel healthy, anyway. I walked all over myself and didn't respect other people's boundaries in the process and I feel bad about that.

Now that i know whats happening I tend to manage myself better but shit. shit shit shit. ive lost so much time to this. Now that im out of my dads house, whatever this has been has gone down significantly, and i think it was living with him that reduced me to a state of maybe when he loved me more. Now I'm out, I want to grow up and be me for me, instead of hanging on to an attempt for validation Ill never get. I need to do things for myself now, its the only way Im truly satisfied.

All of this combined also probably explains why i'm eating disordered. I desperately want to have child body back if i cant have an adult male one- and i want to be taken seriously and cared for because i feel like people dont really care. when I stopped eating suddenly i was important again and I miss that, so much.

anyways. I went from reading tons and tons of gay smut (because i couldn't handle fem stuff I got really dysphoric) to basically searching for any and all "little" fanfics that I could find that were completely void of sexuality and I ended up finding them more emotionally satisfying. that in itself has made me really insecure because it's widely sexualised and that, is, disgusting.

scared of being judged for this ig-

but this is tumblr.

Btw age regression and smut don't mix it's, horrifying... it's intellectual pedophilia.

tl:dr, I was lonely kid, couldnt handle growing up, essentially i feel as though i couldnt emotionally mature, still act like f-ing 5 yo because im sad

[just-some-sad-kiddo]

I arrived at school a bit late this morning, but I doubt the teacher noticed. She was a little more focused on the study guide review. I did poorly. I feel stupid. I was so proud of myself for turning in the study guide early when in reality, I didn’t even do a good job.  

In robotics, Cody mentioned that I had been very salty the past few weeks. (No shit, Cody.) I explained to him all that had been going on and he offered to message Taiga through TEAMS to get to the bottom of things. They did not take it well. Assuming I couldn’t see their messages, he made a couple of nasty remarks about me calling me and entitled bitch. Call me crazy but I swear I’ve been mentioning this whole time that the reason I’d been so conflicted about the situation was because I know I'm not entitled to love? It was all very distressing. I’ll give Cody some credit, he is capable of being mature when he really has to.  

Another odd detail that he mentioned was that apparently Taiga had asked him for nude photos and Cody sent them. I hope Cody is lying about this for a number of reasons. For one, that could put him in serious danger.  

On top of that, they’ve been together for only two weeks and they’re exchanging nudes? Taiga wouldn’t even kiss me. I think it’s because I’m trans. Taiga doesn’t want to date a trans boy, they want to date a real boy.

But I’m not here to make this about me. The main concern is Cody’s safety and how Taiga put him at risk when he asked for that photo. That’s something that is incredibly hard to forgive.  

I messaged Taiga during math and informed them that I knew what they had been saying about me over group text.

[9:26 AM] Cipher

We dont need Truck to middleman for us, if you have an issue than talk to me.  

[10:19 AM] Taiga

I don't have an issue I'm just confused and frustrated.

[10:37 AM] Cipher

Umm... you literally called me a bitch like two hours ago

[10:37 AM] Cipher

I was sitting right next to cody  

[10:38 AM] Cipher

and entitled  

[10:40 AM] Taiga

sorry im pissed

[10:43 AM] Taiga

i say irrational shit when im pissed, im really sorry

[10:48 AM] Cipher

No, youre not

[10:48 AM] Cipher

If you were sorry then none of this would have happened

[10:49 AM] Cipher

Stop saying youre sorry when you arent

[10:56 AM] Taiga

What do you mean "it never would've happened"

[10:56 AM] Taiga

I genuinely don't understand that

[11:05 AM] Cipher

You continue to say youŕe sorry for everything but you never change

[11:05 AM] Cipher

Your apologies mean nothing to me

[11:07 AM] Taiga

Fine, it can be that way

[11:08 AM] Taiga

I valued you as I friend, I apologize for not changing since I don't know how

[11:08 AM] Cipher

No, Im not finishyo

[11:08 AM] Taiga

Alright, continue

[11:08 AM] Cipher

You dont get to walk away from this because I am sick of having to be the bigger person all the time

[11:08 AM] Cipher

Anyway I dont have time right now, im in math

[11:08 AM] Cipher

We can discuss this as a later time.

[11:11 AM] Taiga

I would like to say, I don't know how to be the bigger person. I don't understand how. I was never taught how to take that role in this kind of situation.  

[11:11 AM] Taiga

But yes, we can discuss this later

The bit I mentioned about how he never changes goes back to last year. He had been being bitchy to everyone to the point where nobody was speaking to him except for me. He would meet me after all of my classes and make me tell him what the others were saying about him. He snapped all the time for no reason and expected us to forgive him because apparently, he had anger issues. It’s been nearly a year since then so I figured he’d grown and changed. I was clearly mistaken.

I am sick of Taiga blaming all of his behavior on the way he was raised. Being raised poorly or having certain mental disorders does not warrant shitty behavior. Guess what, Taiga? I was also raised by a shitty dad and I also have shitty disorders. I can’t keep justifying this and I can’t keep letting everything go.

Their group chat shutdown shortly after. We were informed that the school knew that we’d been messaging each other during class time. Lucky for me, I had never taken part in their bullshit.  

~~

We had a sub in math class today. I admired her attempt to relate to all of us with memes and silly voices but it was legitimately painful to listen to her.

~~

This week was Kindness Week at school. We were to nominate a student of our choice and write a few short sentences as to why.

~~

The lunch was absolutely appalling. I swear the next time they server me chicken that’s colder than my ice water, I’m calling Child Protective Services. You could literally squeeze water out of the chicken. They gave us a muffin that was both raw and soggy. I would rather have eaten grass.

~~

I found a way to listen to music during 8th period. I just lean into my headphones discretely and the teacher never notices a thing. I’m a genius. I listened to The Black Parade which will take up about one class period.

[anti-yandere-dev]

hey so i 'redid' the yansim characters but not all of them i wrote 2 much so

[I put the submission under the cut since it was pretty lengthy]

hey whats up guys i had 2 put this in a submission as well as literally typed this in a note bc im on data & i dont wanna use a lot of it

basically my au takes place in a college instead. seems more fitting bc theyre actual adults & just feels Right.

theres more characters than there is in the original but thats mainly because i took the ‘genderbent versions’ & made them useful (i pretty much made them in2 siblings 4 some characters lol) anyways!! lets break down the characters

also lads, lassies, non-gender specific term for those bc i dont know the term, im givin yall a warning 4 self harm, suicide, nsfw implications/rape, possible drug abuse, and the rest of the Basic Criteria

Akihiko (Previously known as Senpai): He’s gay & trans. His name means 'bright prince’ which really has no significance, I just thought it was pretty……………and everyone views him as a prince bc he’s rly nice and kind and forgiving and actually has a personality other than being a cardboard box. Eventually gets into a commited relationship w/ 'Yandere-kun’ who I really need to give a name. Akihiko has a twin brother, I took that idea from the possibility of a younger sister, and admittingly(admittedly???) enough, Koumi’s 'genderbent’ Hanako. I’ll get into detail on his twin later, but they have a pretty good relationship. Akihiko (it was at this point i actually looked up a name 4 him & went back 2 edit stuff bc i h8 senpai lol) is still childhood friends w/ 'Osana’, who I renamed Ami(i4got her last name i had 4 her). However, neither of them have romantic feelings for one another, considering Akihiko is only attracted to males, and Ami is only attracted to females(theyre gay.). Akihiko actually meets Ayano when she is about to commit suicide, when he saves her. Ami is there with him, so they both save her. Aside from slight backstory related stuff, Akihiko is actually rather popular. People like him for an actual personality this time!! He’s very kind and puts others needs before his, which is rather dangerous. Ami has lectured him on this many times. Akihiko’s also known for having really good grades and being very helpful when it comes to tutoring others. He meets Ichirou (yandere-kun i literally just looked up anothr name his name means first son bc hes the first son btw lolol) eventually when Ayano invites him over. (sry this is everywhere btw i should have put this in2 a specific order) ngl i feel like this is enough on akihiko like if u wanna kno more abt him hmu on my main christopherpierre-official

Ami (Previously known as Osana): god shes so fucking gay like as soon as she met ayano she fuckign DIED bc she loves her so much???she thinks ayano is like. the prettiest fuckgin girl ever. holy fuckshit shes GAY AND WILL DEFEND AYANO WOTH HER LIFE!!!! Anyways. Ami comes from a dangerously abusive household, and as a result, took a lot of self defense classes when she ran away at age 13. (what year is tht in japan pls help) She still retains some of her 'tsundere’ personality, but she’s more thoughtful of others feelings. She met Ayano as she was about to throw herself into highly active traffic, but she and Akihiko were able to stop her before she could hurt herself. As soon as Ami and Akihiko were able to calm Ayano down, they called an ambulance/contacted the hospital, considering she had a lot of bruises and cuts. They would later find out Ayano’s father was extremely abusive, and the mother was unable to do anything because she was away on a trip for work. A lot of people know Ami for how assertive she can be, misinterpreting her mostly good intentions as aggressive. Ami is mostly known for her knowledge on medical related things, but she still has a slightly bad reputation because of how rude she comes off as. again thts enougb on ami if u wanna kno more just ask me!!

Ayano: still keeps the name bc I Like It?? its pretty fuck u. Ayano has none of her yandere personality. She’s fuckign AFRAID of everything bc of her SHIT ASS ABUSIVE DAD!! Her mom’s still kinda yandere tho, but she didnt kidnal the dad or anything. Their marriage is founded off of Pure And Honest Love…….until the mom kills the dad 4 being a homphobic shit bitch lol. Ayano actually has a lot of self harm scars. She barely gets to see her older brother, Ichirou, who is two years older than her, because he’s away or some shit idk he gets abused p badly too tho. Ayano is rly reserved & quiet & im debating on giving her bpd but its Iffy idk. she has ptsd & kinda sorta got raped by some Fucker in middle school (ichirou took care of the fucker (: hes dead.) so she has a lot of trauma going on here!! I kinda sorta projected some emotional trauma of mine onto Ayano;;; Obviously when Ami found out she was fuxking enraged. Ayano can’t afford to move out of her house just yet, and her brother can’t necessarily take her in, nor does he have her contact info. He kinda sorta left thr country for a bit?? Not sure what country I want this to take place in yet. However, Ichirou is fairly powerless against his father as well, so he took a lot of the beatings, (even tho this boy is fucking Strong as Hell like GOD FUCKIN DAMN!!! he can lift his own mom w/o an issue!! but he kinda left like right away as soon as he could & couldnt take ayano i mean she was still in high school & he Obviously has guilt over not taking her w/ him) but not as many as Ayano, seeing as to how she was the fathers least favourite. Her mother never married the father, and she didn’t want the children to inherit his last name either. …..anyways this is enough i thimk

Ichirou (Previously Yandere-kun): Gay. Loves Akihiko. Retains the yandere personality, but it’s not as bad??? He left the [insert surname household here fuck aishi its not even a Real japanese surname] household as soon as possible, and had immediate regrets. Loves his darling little sister with all of his heart, but it’s literally not incestuous. It’s just good sibling love………also he likes 2 embarass ayano a lot lol. As soon as he met Akihiko, who I never mentioned to have pastel pink hair, he fell in love like, right away? Even though I personally don’t believe in love at first sight (that’s a lie I fell in love w/ most of my anime bf’s @ first sight i can shut the Fuck Off) Ichirou was just??immediately enchanted by this beautiful prince…….he’s just that gay. He’s 2 whole singular years older than Ayano. actually not 2 whole years but w/e hes a scorpio tho. Ichirou has definitely been in relationships w/ other men b4 but they didn’t work out too well. Some rando called him 'daddy’ once and wanted to fucking Die he has shit experiences with his dad & hates the daddy kink so much. He also has ptsd. Doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions at all so he just bottles them up and lets them out all at once and it’s a mess. Also has self harm scars, and some scars from his father trying to Literally Kill Him. This boy……strong as fuck. Can lift his own mom. Has held Ami, Ayano, and Akihiko all at once. Somehow. He’s just a really good older brother? But he’s also really sneaky. While he is jealous of the time Ami & Ayano spend with Akihiko (the A squad lol i just realized their names all start w/ the letter a) he does respect that they’re really close friends, and nothing more. He’s also aware of the unsaid feelings between Ayano and Ami (vry perceptive) so he doesn’t care lol. However, he has little to no tolerance of anyone else being around him. He has a slight distaste for Akihiko’s twin, Kazuhiko (the name means harmonious prince i got a Theme goin on here) but he disregards the feelings. wow talk abt an Info Dump okay next 1

Kazuhiko (Previously the 'genderbent’ little sister/brother, made him into Akihiko’s twin brother): He’s actually a yandere too?? But not 4 Akihiko. He’s vry supportive of Akihiko tho. When he & his twin were in middle school, he gave his uniform to his brother bc he still got the sailor uniform, so he took it. There were some troubles but hey I don’t know how this shit is dealt w/ so please. Just accept this brother supporting his gay trans twin……pls….. He enjoys Ayano’s company. She reminds him of his gf/d8m8, the 'genderbent’ version of “”“"senpai”“”“ (theyre cousins but nobody knows yet so thats why) so he introduces them and they hit it off pretty well! Kazuhiko get Jealous™ and nearly exposes his yandere personality but his Lovely Beautiful Nonbinary Girlfriend reassures him tht they only love him. He loves Yuuka (their full name is yuuka minako) so much?? He would kill 4 them. Literally. He almost has. & b4 i accidentally make a cishet character bc i Refuse 2 4 some???odd reason idk, kazuhiko is a Bisexual Demiboy who fell in love w/ a nonbinary who is okay w/ feminine aligned things. Back on track, Kazuhiko is fairly popular w/ a lot of people for many reasons, and oh wow what a Fucking Cliche ppl r strongly sexually attracted to him!!coolio. he looks nothing like koumis fuckass potato lookin little brother btw. But a lot of people hate the fact that he’s in a Very Committed Relationship w/ Yuuka bc shes not that pretty damn!! But she is. She’s so fucking pretty. To him, at least. He basically fucking worships Yuuka. this is A Lot next character lol

Yuuka (Previously 'Senpai-chan’ or w/e lol): Nonbinary who’s fine w/ she/her pronouns, but also uses they/them. Very shy, Ayano & Ichirou’s cousin. Has a younger sister, and two older siblings who are twins. The younger sister is the old concept for the original little sister, and the older siblings are nemesis-chan & 'nemesis-kun’. While Yuuka and their siblings have lived a fairly abusive life, they haven’t sustained as much 'damage’ as Ayano’s family. Yuuka & Ayano are related by their mothers. They are sisters, only a year and an undetermined amount of months apart. This means after Ryoba, Ayano’s mother, or Sakurako, Yuuka’s mother, moved away, they lost contact with one another, never bothering to talk again. Yuuka and Ayano get along exceptionally well, and Hanako (u remember the little sister well her name stays the same bc its meaning is just flower child. also her design changes.) often refers to Ayano as an elder sister. Yuuka’s relationship with her little sister is somewhat strained due to the three year age gap, but they still get along regardless. Their relationship is strained because Yuuka promises to spend more time with their younger sister, but there’s not much time due to an overwhelming amount of schoolwork, as well as their job taking up a lot of time, too. Regardless, Yuuka doesn’t forget to call their darling little sister as often as she can, checking up on her and how well she’s doing in school. next 1!!!! also i4got 2 talk abt their relationship w/ kazuhiko here bc i was rly focused on mentioning family stuff…..oops (also 4got 2 mention mental health stuff??but like. yuuka has adhd, depression, anxiety, u can just ask me if u wanna know more tbh)

Hanako: i kept the name bc it just literally means flower child & honestly shes such a flowery child??anyways. Hanako retains little to none of her annoying rip-off-nico personality. Instead, she has set up a calm, shy exterior as a defense mechanism due to the many years of neglect she received from her father. (me @ myself y r all the dad characters fuxking Dicks in this like??okay damn.) On top of that, growing up, her mother was never around, due to the fact that she was in the hospital to a terminal illness. Instead, she had to rely on Yuuka for attention, since the twins, Tomoko (sister) and Kiyoshi (brother) left before she graduated her first year in middle school. Hanako also has difficulties with her schoolwork because she, much like her sister, has ADHD. Due to this, she struggles to keep up with the class, and has a hard time paying attention to almost anything that doesn’t interest her enough. However, she has many supports, helping her as much as possible in many ways, which does make her feel better about herself. After her mother had made a full recovery and left the hospital in her current year, she has felt much better about herself, and her grades have definitely improved. Although her father did leave her a while back when she found out he was having an affair on her mom, she still managed fairly well on her own. i mean cmon its not like she liked her dad tht much lol he was a Big Fucking Asswipe hanako isnt as fleshed out as i wished her 2 b but shes not That signigicant to the main story??idk. like shes still in highschool & shes only 17 & this takes place in college so??i dunno. i mean if u got suggestions or smth..sure

Tomoko (Previously Nemesis-chan, made her one of the older siblings bc idk y not lol: There’s not much to say about her. She’s 28, which is only 11 years apart from Hanako. She was entirely capable of filling in the missing mother role for her and Yuuka, but she herself didn’t know what to do. On top of that, she was more focused on getting the best grades out of the entire class, and was much better at academics than her brother. Tomoko has a very cold exterior. She is hard to connect with, and pays little to no attention to anyone elses feelings than her own. This mainly stems from the fact that her father, who she doesn’t even consider a blood related relative, was too busy messing around with other women. buddy i dont know what else 2 write 4 tomoko like she just has severe apathy issues & just doesnt know how 2 connect w/ others. next character

Kiyoshi (Previously Koumi’s shit ass 'genderbend’ Nemesis-chan): Unlike Tomoko, he was able to fill in the father-like role for Yuuka and Hanako. Due to having to take on the role of the father, it put a large strain on his academics and work outside of school. He, at one point, almost had to drop out to take care of his younger siblings, but decided against it. He eventually decided to teach Yuuka how to do her own laundry and how to cook when she was only 9. Due to this, Yuuka was able to take care of herself and Hanako while Kiyoshi could work and pay their bills. Kiyoshi was only 23 when he left the household so he could go to college and get a degree, leaving Yuuka at age 15, and Hanako at age 12. he could b more fleshed out but im??i dunno. im Panicking okay do u think i can work on a character tht doesnt rly show up in the story a lot.

anyways im just putting all of These Guys in 1 this 4 now bc this is A Lot as it is. ill do more later also give me criticism on these pls

--

I really like what you’ve done with the characters (especially now that they have personalities and stories behind them, instead of just nothing). Also, the names you gave them were cute.

-Mod Sega

[queerloquial]

every odd question~

How did you choose your name?

ive just always favored magpies, so the word ended up in two of my urls (this one, and my original, steam-powered-magpie) and eventually turned into what people call me

Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?

social, definitely. i really only experience discomfort with my body based on what people around me see when they look at me- they see certain traits and assume ‘this is a girl’, so sometimes i do what i can to change or hide those traitsWhat was the first time you suspected you were transgender?

trans, specifically- probably when i was 19/20 and learning more about being nonbinary and the various words i could use to identify myself

being not cis- i remember being as young as ¾/5 and thinking ‘i am not a girl at all >:(’

What is your favorite part of being transgender?

the first thing in my head was ‘i can pick my own name!’How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?

im really only out here on tumblr (where i just edited my about page), and to my sister (who follows me & read my about every time i update it) and best friend (who i told in conversation somewhere, fairly casually)

im not out to anyone else irl because i live with and around a lot of people who are very against anyone who isnt a middle-class-or-higher white able-bodied neurotypical cis het conservative protestant christian

What are your experiences with binding or tucking?

ive never used a real binder- only sports bras a size or two smaller than i wear normally- but im strongly considering getting one when im more financially stableWhat (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?

ive thought vaguely about top surgery or starting t, but they dont appeal to me nearly as much as just binding and wearing guys clothesWhat labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?

i was a demigirl at one point, and used to go by she/her pronouns. now i only use those with people im not out toWhat do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?

i use the womens room by choice, its habit by this point and i do so love my routines. i did once have a gas station attendant accidentally unlock the mens room for me- i was wearing baggy clothing and had my hair up in my hat- and having them assume from a glance that i was not in fact a woman was very niceWould you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?

is that different from being closeted? if not, i do it because i dont feel particularly safe being properly outWhy do you use the pronouns you use?

they/them is a nice neutral set of pronouns that already fit neatly into common grammar

also im plural, so, bonus pointsWhat’s your biggest trans-related fear?

being known as trans by the people i currently live with/around & them reacting the way i think they wouldWhat do you wish cis people understood?

well that trans people are fucking human, for one. i cant tell you how many times my mom has heard about trans kids on the news and proceeded to talk about each one and call them “it”… 

also that gender is not male/female, that presentation does not equal identity, that medically transitioning is not the only way to be trans or nonbinary/that not everyones medical transition is the same (some people take hormones, some get one surgery, some go all-out, some people dont want to medically transition at all)What do you do to validate yourself?

bind and put on my gayest flannel and my nice heavy boots and tuck my hair into the collar of my shirt. looking less obviously-feminine clears up a lotHow are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?

i reblog trans/nb positivity posts and occasionally do gender-related dragon age headcanons, but thats about itWhat trans issue are you most passionate about?

uhhhhh being treated as human i guessHow do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?

i think there might be some effect from being poor and fat- something along the lines of ‘society at large doesnt see me as a real woman anyways/i cant perform femininity to the required degree so why not be genderless’. theres definitely pull from being neurodivergent; thats actually my Real Identity definition. ‘gendervague- gender or lack thereof influenced by mental illness’. i use agender for conveniences sake, but at the core, i feel like if i didnt have all the brain things that i do then i would have a genderDo you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?

non-gender with left masculineHow did/do you manage waiting to transition?

with my current living and financial situation, waiting is kinda mandatory, so its just. thats life, theres no changing it without drastic action that i dont know if im comfortable taking right nowDo you interact with other trans people IRL?

to my knowledge, no, but they could be closeted or just not disclosing their gender to me

[slapshot1977]

i know i complain about this class way too much but.... my soc professor is like really popular and he gets praise from all his past students, and i’m sure he deserves it, because he’s incredibly charismatic and and very good at keeping the class interesting and on track, but i feel like i’m missing out??? bc i am literally so unimpressed with him?? like i dont care for his class AT ALL and i hate going, which sucks bc it’s on sex and gender which i usually love taking classes on like, what am i missing?? this professor has a template on his blackboard bc so many students come to him for recommendation letters and he has a good score on ratemyprofessor or w/e and i just...... dont get it.......... maybe its bc i dont like the way he’s teaching sex and gender. i feel like a lot of his information is outdated and/or wrong, and he doesn’t seem to go out of his way to correct it; its always “email me if you find something better!” but like, i shouldnt have to be the one to do that? like yeah, occasionally, but im the student. you’re the professor. you should be looking for the right information??? its just super frustrating bc i feel like i have to correct something every class. and i usually hate when students act like they know more than the professor, and i dont think i do, even in this case, but i don’t want this false information to circulate. like trans people and trans issues already have enough misinformation around them to begin with. and i’m usually up to date on transgender issues, for the most part, bc its a personal issue. so i know all the terminology and im on this fucking site so i see all the discourse. and transgender issues and terminology are evolving constantly and you really have to be immersed in them to really understand, and he’s not, i dont think.  and its not that i dont think a cisgender person can teach sex and gender classes, because i’ve taken a s&g class from another [cis] professor and i loved it! its just that this class is full of misinformation and the professor tends to leave out info when it suits him. like, i had to be the one to bring up non-binary genders.  idk maybe i’m just tired of talking about trans issues to a bunch of cis people. maybe im just tired of talking about it in a scholarly setting. it gets tiring, when its a personal thing, i guess

ANYWAY, i hate this class and i wish i didnt bc everyone seems to love this professor and im missing out