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undine-taz · 3 years

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5 times Diavolo failed to be a sugar daddy and one time he succeeded

I'm just imagining poor Diavolo trying SO HARD to spoil an MC who is just. Not greedy in the slightest and loves weird little shinies while being totally indifferent to the super crazy expensive gifts he usually gives to people he's trying to woo. Just in case, this is the PUREST OF FLUFF and completely sfw. I can’t even think of any tw to tag??? Let me know if you notice something. Oh, and MC is imagined to be gender neutral. There’s a mention of perfume, but not in the feminine sense- that’s just the proper word for a certain level of scent concentration.

1. Expensive Perfume

Diavolo's first attempt is the most expensive perfume/cologne money can buy

He's not quite sure what MC's favorite scent is, so he buys a wide variety

All the bottles are sleek and minimalistic and the scents inside are VERY obviously expensive, the kind of thing Mammon would probably lose his mind over

MC's reaction is perfectly grateful, they say sincerely how much they appreciate him thinking of them. He doesn't feel a single lie off of them and he walks away mostly satisfied thinking maybe they’re just the type to not show a ton of excitement over gifts

That is, until he's walking down the hallways in RAD and happens to overhear a conversation between Asmo and MC

Asmo's talking about how he's been going through perfume at a record pace lately, and he feel so bad about wasting these beautiful bottles... would MC like them? He has one shaped like a rose, one like a star, one modeled after the cosmos...

Asmo doesn't even get to finish because MC is already flapping their hands in joy (I'm autistic and MC is going to happy stim if it kills me) and wiggling and practically jumping into Asmo's arms in excitement

Asmo's laughing and promising to save all of his prettiest empty perfume bottles for MC from now on and MC is practically wiggling in joy and nuzzling their face into Asmo's chest in happiness

They’re talking about spending the night in Asmo’s room trying to make perfume blends for each other to fill up the bottles and tossing scent ideas back and forth

And Diavolo is sitting there feeling a bit like he's been bonked over the head. Those happy stims are ADORABLE and he wants to be the one who causes them. He's not sure why his perfume failed and Asmo's literal empty bottles worked but he's DETERMINED to try again

2. Fancy gemstones

Diavolo's next attempt is fancy gemstones. He finds large, beautifully cut and processed gemstones, the type that are so perfectly processed they look almost identical except for color

Again, when he gives MC his gifts he can tell that they're sincerely grateful! They tell him they love that he was thinking of them, they worry that he spent too much money on them ( they try to refuse at first because it's too much, but Diavolo breezes past their protests with a smile and an iron will) and Diavolo doesn't sense even the tiniest hint of untruth from their professions of gratitude

But.... there are no happy wiggles, no stunned gasps, no joyously flapping hands, no nothing. Just calm gratitude.

Diavolo goes back to the drawing board, and he's just going to visit the HOL library for inspiration in a rare book (and as an excuse to see MC) when he hears Satan and MC laughing together in the library.

When he walks in, he sees Satan and MC crouched together with some strange tools in their hands, gently chipping away at a large rock. There's a tiny pile of uncut, unprocessed gemstones at MC's elbow.

As soon as MC sees him, he's aflood in a wash of excited chatter as MC tells him about the gemstone mining kit Satan bought after reading a book on gemstones. In fact Diavolo can see the book open at Satan's elbow along with a notebook where the two have been identifying every gemstone they dig up.

Before he knows it, MC seizes his hand and he's drawn into the game, watching their eyes shine and seeing them bounce in their seat with excitement every time they uncover a new gemstone.

Dammit. Another failure. But, Diavolo finds as he watches MC's obvious joy, he can't be too frustrated when they're this happy.

3. Shopping spree at Majolish

Diavolo is undeterred! He takes a day to bring them to Majolish, having them try on outfit after outfit. Sure, they're not picking out very many things, but he loves spending time with them and they say they're enjoying themself.

After several hours, Barbatos gently reminds him that he has a meeting soon and that MC seems absolutely exhausted.

Diavolo pouts, especially when he sees that MC hasn't picked out very many things, but he sighs and concedes.

When he drops them off at the HOL, MC gives him a hug and thanks him for helping them pick out some more formal outfits for any upcoming RAD events. Diavolo accepts the hug gladly, but there's no squeaking or jumping and DEFINITELY no flapping. MC seems rather exhausted, and Belphegor has appeared from nowhere and draped himself over MC and is mumbling about needing a nap buddy and MC isn't even trying to argue

The next day, Barbatos shows him Levi's post on Devilgram. It's a video, of Levi giving MC a plain, unassuming box.

When MC opens the box, their mouth drops open, their eyes go wide, and they fling themselves at Levi, happily nuzzling into his chest and mumbling incoherent thanks while Levi turns bright red and starts stuttering and clearly tries not to combust

The video cuts out for a second and then starts again with MC wearing a simple shirt embroidered with a strange logo, which Levi explains from behind the camera is inspired by MC's favorite series and was handmade by Levi for practice. Levi was apparently asked to design formalwear inspired by anime, and he chose MC's favorite to practice a design. According to the caption, the two spent an entire day together watching the series and sketching ideas!

MC is beaming and happy stimming while Diavolo thumps his head into his desk dramatically and Barbatos elegantly stifles a chuckle behind him.

4. Bouquets of flowers

Well now Diavolo is determined. HE WILL MAKE MC HAPPY STIM IF IT KILLS HIM

HE HAS HIS PRIDE AS THE FUTURE DEMON KING DAMMIT

He begins watching the corniest of romcoms for ideas.

Midway into one of them, he sees the character buy their love interest bouquets upon bouquets of roses

BRILLIANT! He's up and placing orders immediately. Barbatos stays behind for a few minutes to actually watch how this particular ploy works out on screen, before laughing and going to watch the chaos

As dedicated as he is to the young lord, watching Diavolo scramble around trying to impress his first puppy love only to fail because the target of his affections is simply too humble.... well, it's honestly adorable. He'll step in if it goes on for too long, but for now it might actually be good for the young master to experience something he can't have by throwing money or influence at it.

Diavolo has some of the Devildom's finest florists on the horn and he's sending a veritable flood of their finest cut flowers... AND he's sending them from an anonymous source, just like in the movie! The woman in the movie only sent over THREE bouquets to the object of her love, so Diavolo sends 300. Only the best for his MC :)

He's waiting impatiently for the results of his little scheme when he gets an apologetic text from Lucifer saying that he'll be late to the meeting and MC won't be coming at all. Some anonymous admirer sent MC an excessive amount of flowers and the sheer amount of pollen triggered allergies in ALL of the demon bros and MC.

Lucifer needed time to clear out the house and distribute allergy meds to everyone and buy out the nearest store on tissue paper

Barbatos is no longer even bothering to stifle his chuckles while Diavolo buries his face in his arms to hide his shame

To rub salt in the wound, Lucifer tells him a few days later that he set up a miniature greenhouse for MC to grow humanworld herbs in and they've barely left it in the last two days

Lucifer’s been spending most of his free time in the greenhouse with them, helping them tinker with humidity spells and listening to their excited monologues on human gardening techniques

Lucifer is definitely smirking as he tells Diavolo this and Diavolo doesn't bother to ask how Lucifer knew what was going on, because his old friend knows him too well and Diavolo realizes he's not exactly subtle.

What he doesn't realize is that Barbatos is also a dirty dirty snitch and he and Lucifer have been watching over his attempts with a mix of hilarity and pity

5. Desserts

Some might give up, but not Diavolo! His newest ideas is fancy desserts. He was told by a sweet old succubus that the best way to his lover's heart was through the stomach (actually she initially had some far raunchier suggestions that had made Diavolo blush and had given him some ideas for far, FAR in his future relationship with MC, but that's neither here nor there) and so here Diavolo is, placing a giant order at Madame Scream's to be delivered to the HOL.

This time he has learned from his mistakes and he signs it as being from him and addresses it to "MC and the residents of HOL" because even he recognizes there are far too many sweets for a human to eat before they go bad

Barbatos by this point is starting to feel pity and is almost tempted to suggest he wait until it's not Beel's day for Fangol practice to send a giant array of tempting sweets.

Almost. If it weren't for the maid cafe fiasco of last week Barbatos probably would have, but that lace had chafed in areas that should never be chafed.

Diavolo sent his gift only to receive a poorly drawn thank-you card drawn by Beel and signed by everyone at the HOL, including MC, even though "I didn't even get a chance to eat any, BEEL"

This poor man feels his soul leave his body, especially when he returns home from RAD to find Barbatos and MC baking together and singing along to Disney songs (well, MC was singing, Barbatos was simply watching them with a smile and occasionally twisting them into a simple dance to make them laugh and squiggle with joy)

Et tu, Barbatos?

After yesterday's glitter incident, Barbatos has no shame and simply smirks back. He'll help the young lord when he can shower without finding glitter in every crevice.

+1: Tea together

Diavolo is planning his next gift when he gets a message from MC, of all people

His heart flutters, he has butterflies in his stomach, and he hasn't even read it yet!

It's a simple text- "What are you up to?"

Obviously Diavolo can't admit he's shirking paperwork to try and figure out a gift that would make them happy! So he improvises and claims he's working. He gets back a sad face emoji and a simple "Miss you! I feel like we haven't hung out in forever, but I know how busy you are. Good luck, I'm rooting for you!"

SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND MC IS TO BLAME

This man is dramatically draped over his desk wailing about how cute MC is.

Luckily for him Barbatos has forgiven him for both the maid cafe incident and the glitter incident and Diavolo has been too distracted trying to plan gifts to cause any new chaos

Barbatos hands him a lovely picnic basket, complete with tea and fancy sandwiches, and tells him to go see MC and take a break since he's clearly not getting any work done as is.

Cue guilty glance to the overwhelming stack of paperwork that's been building up. He swears he's never seen Barbatos place more and yet they keep growing, are they breeding somehow...? Did Lucifer curse him after the taffy incident?

Either way, Diavolo takes the basket and heads off to HOL.

He's either very lucky or (more likely) Barbatos bribed Lucifer into helping him out, as MC is the one to answer the door.

They look kind of down until they see him and he explains he's there to spend time with them, and then they absolutely LIGHT UP.

Before he knows it, they've thrown himself into his arms and they're bouncing in excitement and snuggling him and happy flapping and boyo is confused but OVER THE MOON.

He finally did it!?!?! What was it!?!?! The picnic basket? Do they have a thing for picnics baskets!?!?!

And then he actually tunes in a d listens to their flood of chatter and how happy they are to see him and how much they've missed him and how excited and grateful they are they he took time out of his busy schedule to spend time with him and out in the thought to prepare a way for them to spend time in each other's company...

O H

He is M E L T I N G

He can't believe it was this easy.... no need for fancy gifts or anything like that, just... paying attention to their likes and spending time with them????

Holy shit he is gonna protect this human's smile witH HIS LIFE

And now that he understands them better he can buy EXPENSIVE SHIT THEY'LL ACTUALLY LIKE AND HE'LL GET ALL THE HAPPY SNUGGLES AND JOYOUS STIMMING IN THE WORLD!!!!

Yes, he decides, wrapping his arms around them while trying to keep the basket level

Now that he's gotten a taste of their sincere joy, he's hooked and he's going to make them as excited and happy as this as often as he possibly can.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me diavolo #obey me one master to rule them all #sfw #fluff #bc Dia is just as starved for a friend #gn!mc

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writinggeisha · 6 years

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LazyGeisha's Note: I'm putting the text under the "read more" due to explicit words being used. If this post becomes a problem, I'll stick it all up on Google docs and post a link.

**Updated in 2017**

My name is Quinn Anderson, and I've been writing smut for over ten years now. I'm also a published author. I've written the Murmur Inc. series and several other LGBT+ erotic novels, which you can find in the references section, and I've been an active member of fandom since childhood. Now that my entirely unimpressive credentials are out of the way, let's get to the point.

· A friend of mine recently told me that she has difficulty writing smut, because she feels like she's being repetitive or boring or that she just can't create the right mood. To help her, I agreed to put together what I consider to be the building blocks of writing erotic fiction, both heterosexual and homosexual. This is a comprehensive list that she (and now all of you) can consult when you're writing if you can't think of a word/feel like you've said the same thing over and over/just want to get some fresh ideas.

· This article is free for everyone to consult, and there's absolutely no need to credit me if you use something from this list. Most everything on here is fairly common, and an experienced smut writer will likely recognise everything here. I've attempted to categorise it neatly for easy reference, and some things are mentioned in more than one section because they are equally applicable. I also have a tendency to switch tenses/perspectives, depending on the wording, so hopefully that won't annoy the dickens out of most of you. If you think of something I missed and want me to add it to the list, please don't hesitate to leave a comment.

· Disclaimer: I am no way trying to give the impression that I know everything there is to know about writing smut. Literotica is an ever-evolving beast, and I just want to help my fellow writers. I give some general advice at the end that you're absolutely free to ignore. I'm not trying to suggest that anyone who does the things I warn against is a bad writer, nor am I attempting to criticise anyone (except perhaps E.L. James. We'll get to that). If I at any point give that impression, please let me know, and I'll change my wording. However, please keep in mind that this is a FREE resource intended to help others, and I'm under no obligation to anyone but myself.

All further notes/comment from me will either be in parenthesis or marked with an *.

Table of Contents

(to reach any section, use the control and f keys, then search for the heading)

i. Introduction

ii. Reaction Words

iii. Adverbs

iv. Sexy Alternatives to "Said"

v. Generally Sexy Actions

vi. Kissing

vii. Blow Jobs

viii. Cunnilingus

ix. Penetrative Intercourse

x. First Times and Losing Virginities

xi. The Orgasm (.:chorus of angels:.)

xii. Generally Acceptable Slang Terms

xiii. Feelings When Aroused

xiv. Sexy Words

xv. Things that Sound Good Until You Imagine Someone Actually Doing Them

xvi. Some Dos and Don'ts of Smut Writing

xvii. References

i. Introduction

If you read/write fan fiction for long enough, certain ideas, tropes, and terms will get ingrained in you. For instance, in nearly every fic I've ever read, when characters kiss, one of them gasps, and the other "uses the opportunity to slip their tongue into their mouth" or some nigh-identical variation. Also, in nearly every porn fic, when one character orgasms, the "feel of their muscles clenching/pulsing" pushes the other character "over the edge." Sound familiar? We've all done it. We've all written it. Hell, I'm guilty of half the things on my Don'ts list, and I'm comfortable with that. Does the ubiquity of certain fan-fictiony phrases make them bad? Not at all. Should we all be trying to find new ways of saying the same ideas? Maybe. Maybe not. I like to think that these classics are simply one of the steps we all use to convey certain ideas in a way we know everyone will understand. I'm not attempting to denounce creativity, and certainly it's always a good idea to introduce new ideas, but we all need to start somewhere. That's the true purpose of this smut-writing guide.

When my debut novel was published, I had a lot of fan fiction habits violently beaten out of me. I had to remove about a dozen adjectives for "eyes" that bordered on absurd but seemed like a marvellous idea at the time, and I was forbidden on pain of death to ever use the phrase "ministrations" again. I also unwittingly changed my main character's name from "Nik" to "Nick" halfway through the novel. That, however, was not the worst of it. Let me tell you that there is nothing more embarrassing than going through your raw manuscript, reaching a sex scene and seeing that the editors ripped the ever-loving piss out of it. Having the anatomical impossibilities of your seemingly mind-blowing smut pointed out is enough to make even the most hardened of hard-core-porn writers cringe. It's even worse when you misspell the word "public" in a truly unfortunate way (hint: I forgot a letter), and it leads the editor to say, "This made me laugh so hard, my cat got up and sprinted out the room in a panic." I'm not here to do that to you. I'm here to try and keep someone else from doing it to you to the very best of my ability. Enjoy, and may the smut be with you.

ii. Reaction Words

· Shivers

· Shudders

· Trembles

· Quivers

· Quakes

· Shakes

· Gasps

· Moans

· Groans

· Jolts

· Jerks

· Lurches

· Startles

· Pants

· Huffs

· Gulps

· Cries out

· Melts

· Bites back a moan

· Breath hitches

· Babbling/sputtering

· Collapsing

· Knees buckling

· Swallowing hard

· Going limp

· See stars

· Makes a strangled noise

· Inhales (combine with an adverb i.e "he inhaled sharply")

· Exhales

· Skin prickles

· Brain short-circuits or stops functioning

· Sweating (there's loads to be done with sweat: the musky smell of it, tasting the saltiness of it, seeing a lover coated in a thin sheen of it, having it slick their bodies, etc.)

· Flushing (Flushing tends to happen in fleshy and sensitive areas. Armpits, cheeks, neck, ears, chest, genitals, and whole-body flushes for maximum effect)

· Eyes roll back

· Clenches

· Is stunned

· Gagging for it

· Dizzy for it

· Arch back/hips

· iii. Adverbs - Use these with prudence. An abundance of adverbs in a text can weaken your writing.

· Shakily

· Heatedly

· Desperately

· Incoherently

· Roughly

· Raggedly

· Headily

· Readily

· In a Needy way

· Deeply

· Breathily

· Noisily

· Loudly

· Heavily

· Dangerously

· Seductively

· Languidly

· Lazily

· Sensually

· Silkily

· Oily

· Hungrily

· Sinfully

· Darkly

· Warmly

· Softly

· Gently

· Tenderly

· Harshly

· Lusciously

· Quickly

· Slowly

· Frantically

· Wantonly

· iv. Sexy Alternatives to "Said"

· Purred

· Cooed

· Murmured

· Whispered

· Stuttered

· Breathed

· Rasped

· Cried out

· Begged

· Muttered (I'm not a fan of this one because I associate muttering with being angry, but I see it often enough)

· Growled

· Grunted

· Husked

· Howled

· Keened

· Mewled

· Choked

· Sobbed (dub-con warnings; use with caution)

· Whimpered

· Blurted

· Bleated (I like to use this for comedic effect)

· Teased

· Pleaded

· v. Generally Sexy Actions

· Sinking to their knees

· Licking

· Biting

· Nipping

· Pressing foreheads together

· Shoving a hand between someone's legs

· Shoving your hips together

· Pinning their wrists

· Caress

· Wink

· Wet/lick lips

· Hike a skirt up/ruck a shirt up

· Stroke (skin, hair, genitals, etc.)

· (when one character is pressed against a wall) A does something, and B slams/throws their head back into the wall in reaction.

· Undoing buttons/zips with their teeth (I suggest only having experienced lovers do this. It's remarkably difficult and you run the risk of getting your lip caught in a zip. It's not something to have a virgin get right on their first time in fiction if you want to be believable).

· Splay hands across someone's chest or lower back

· Rake nails across skin/through hair

· Hooking a leg around someone's waist

· Knee between thighs

· Biting collarbones/hip bones/ribs (the bones that tend to protrude beneath the skin and draw it taut)

· Sucking neck skin into the mouth

· Cupping their cheeks

· Grasping their chin and tilting it up/down

· Placing a finger against their lips

· Letting breath tickle their ears

· Digging your nails in

· Dipping your tongue into collarbone/bellybutton/ears/etc.

· Tugging on earlobes with teeth

· Push their hair back/card through it/rake through it

· Hair pulling

· Lips brushing ears

· Ghosting over their neck with fingers/lips

· Running fingers lightly over someone's palm or wrist

· Hip grinding/rutting/thrusting/rolling/shifting/rockin g together

· Dirty Talk (this can be anything from a simple "Oh, God, yes" to a full-on "I want to feel your name burning on my skin for days*." I suggest loads of cursing and using the lord's name in vain. "Oh fuck, oh, Jesus, fuck yes, there, just like that, fucking Christ" is a good start.)

· Nipple play (Use caution depending on gender. Some men love it, some hate it, the majority of women love it)

· Nuzzle

· Tease/torture/torment

· *Credit for that line to a Sherlock/Moriarty fic called "Crescendo" by PlainJaneDoe. It's amazing and a prime example of dirty talk. 10/10 Highly recommend. It's listed in the References section.

· vi. Kissing

· Lip play – biting, running your tongue over the lips, over where they meet, just inside of them, tracing their outline with the tip of the tongue

· Massaging the tongues together

· Rolling them over each other

· Imitating sex/fucking the person's mouth with your tongue

· Brushing lips together

· Pausing when lips are just barely touching and breathing each other's air (can cause dizziness akin to sexual arousal)

· Sucking their bottom lip into your mouth

· Bruising/crushing/kissing hard

· Teeth clicking

· Sucking on the tongue

· Swirling your tongue around theirs

· Flicking your tongue (also for oral sex)

· vii. Blow Jobs

· Reddened lips

· Swollen lips

· Slick

· Sloppy

· Lips darkened and wet with saliva

· Making eye contact

· Hollowing cheeks

· Swirling tongue

· Gently, gently biting or scraping teeth (quickest way to make a man cringe is to mention biting his thing, so please exercise with caution)

· Dipping tongue into the slit

· Fucking someone's mouth (for the receiver of oral)

· Deep throating (for experienced lovers, usually)

· Playing with balls

· Rubbing the perineum* or frenulum**

· Swallowing around it

· Engulfed in wet heat

· Pulling the foreskin back to expose the head

· Using hands and lips together

· Suction

· Pressure

· * The perineum is an erogenous zone for both males and females. In males it's the stretch of skin between the balls and the anus, which is receptive to massage. In females, it's the area between the vulva and the anus.

· ** The frenulum is a band of tissue under the penis that connects to the foreskin, which some men find sensitive.

· And then just for general knowledge, the glans is the head of the penis, or head.

· viii. Cunilingus (Female Oral Sex)

· Lapping

· Playing with the woman's wetness/juices

· Fingering (make note of finger nail length. Long fingernails need to be careful)

· Parting the lips

· Flicking your tongue

· Flower comparisons (these are an old cliché, but you can refresh it a bit if you avoid the usual)

· Fleshy pink (red and occasionally purple are also acceptable colour comparisons)

· Delving the tongue in

· Playing with the inner thing

· Using synonyms for the clitoris should be done with caution. Some like "button" and "nub" are commonly accepted, but if you say "pleasure button" or "Southern nipple", you may get some sniggers.

· ix. Intercourse (Anal* and Vaginal**)

· Sinking into someone/down onto a cock

· Riding – descriptions of bouncing breasts for females, working thigh muscles for both, watching the man's cock disappear into their body

· Pulling hips down harder

· Digging fingers into their shoulders/chest/hips/back

· Setting a pace/rhythm – losing that rhythm as climax approaches

· Getting seated

· Buried in a person

· Snapping/slamming/pounding hips

* There's a LOT of debate about the "proper" amount of preparation needed before anal sex. Some people insist you can just go for it, while others (myself included), think those people are ruining anal sex for everyone else. I've had loads of female-identifying friends of mine say they tried anal once and hated it and will never do it again. This is almost the result of people who don't know what the hell they're doing. IF YOU'RE READING THIS, STOP IT. STOP PUTTING DICKS AND SEX TOYS IN THINGS WITHOUT LEARNING TO DO IT PROPERLY. DO A DAMN GOOGLE SEARCH ON HOW TO PREPARE FOR ANAL.

I could write a whole article on this alone, but for the sake of brevity, I'll break it down: before anal, 1) you need to clean out your ass, 2) you need to use lube, and 3) some people say you need to get your ass used to taking penis-sized objects. Personally, I think fingering/rimming will do just fine, but literally everyone has a different opinion on this. On a personal note, I think writing preparation (lubing up, fingering, etc.) can be really hot. I'm not sure why people shy away from them, thinking that it "kills the mood." Just deciding who does the preparing can be hot. Does Person A prepare Person B for hours, until they're begging for it? Or just until they can take it without being hurt because they're so desperate to fuck? Or does Person B insist on preparing themselves, letting Person A sit back and watch them finger themselves? There are all sorts of sexy possibilities.

Also, let's talk about appropriate lube. I have read some absolutely horrific fics where people used inappropriate, unsanitary things as lube. Butter is not lube. Soy Sauce is not lube. Candle Wax is not lube. No, I am not kidding when I say I have actually seen these things in fic. Please don't do that to the characters. Some of us love them deeply.

** It's important to note that both the G-spot and the clit are involved in female orgasm (and are tied to one another. Stimulating the G-spot stimulates the clit), so a number of women like to stimulate their clit while having penetrative sex to facilitate an easier climax. You can add this for a bit of extra realism—or just for the sexiness of it (Blythe, M. J., Rosenthal, S. L., & American Academy of Pediatrics, 2007, pp. 1335-1337).

It is also important to decide if you are going to mention safe sex practices in your fic (you should do this for oral sex as well, since you're just as likely to get STIs from oral sex as penetrative, though you can't get pregnant). I'm personally in favour of mentioning getting checked for STIs and using condoms in fic. I think it's important to mention these things so people start thinking about them/recognising the issues of unplanned pregnancy and disease. However, the counterargument is that this is fantasy, and obviously fictional characters can't get pregnant or diseased without the author writing it. It's up to you, but in the interest of realism, I highly suggest you at least have the characters have a conversation about why they're not using condoms, such as "Here's my bloodwork. I'm STI free. By the way, I'm on the pill." Not that flippant, obviously, but hopefully you get what I mean.

x. Writing First Times and Losing Virginities

First Times can be a mixed bag. Sometimes they're pure, animalistic, I-must-throw-you-down-and-fuck-you-right-now humping sessions, and other times they're slow, tender bouts of lovemaking between two characters who have been building up to this moment for 356 pages. Either way, they can go horribly awry. It will be more realistic if the characters fumble a bit or spend time learning each other's bodies. No one is magically endowed with a perfect knowledge of their partner's sexual likes and dislikes, so let your characters experiment. Have fun with it. Whether you go for the hard fuck or the candlelit seduction, a first time should have a sense of reverence, if not in canon than in your writing. Draw it out. Don't be shy with the foreplay. Have someone come too early and then spend their refractory period ruthlessly pleasuring the other until they're ready for round two. You really can't go wrong.

For vaginal sex, if the woman is a virgin, please refrain from pulling a Fifty Shades of Grey and expecting there to be anything as ridiculous as a "weird, pinching sensation deep inside [you]", and it is not possible for someone to "rip through [your] virginity" (James, 2011, p. 101). Also, for the love of God, if you ever make your characters feel anything of the sort, do not have them shout "Argh!" as it happens. I've never face-palmed so hard in my life. Losing your virginity can hurt, yes, and there can be blood and the breaking of the hymen, but if you are properly lubricated and take your time, there is no reason for these things to occur (Brion-Meisels, S., Lowenheim, G., Rendeiro, B., 1982, p. 157).

- For anal sex, if you think a character can take a 12-inch cock with minimal preparation on the first go and experience nothing but soul-sizzling pleasure, you are mistaken. See "Intercourse."

· xi. The Orgasm

· The Earth stops spinning/stutters on its axis

· Dissolve into pleasure

· Lightning

· Electricity

· Waves (overdone, but you can jazz this one up if you try – i.e. waves of fire instead of the usual)

· Explosions

· Shockwaves

· Rippling

· Trails of fire

· Fire pooling low in their abdomen

· A spring coiling tightly and then being release

· Fireworks (please only use this sparingly. It's the oldest term for kissing/pleasure/etc. in history)

· Light – white light in particular, or everything cutting to white noise

· Vision fading to black

· Static

· Shattering

· Splintering

· Pulsing (also feeling someone pulse whilst inside them)

· Time slows

· Falling

· Flying

· Rocketing

· Going still/tense

· Jerking

· Vocalisation in any form

· Moaning a mixture of curse words and their lover's name

· xii. Generally Acceptable Slang Terms*

· Clit

· G-spot

· Cock

· Dick

· Prick and Fanny for the Anglophiles (penis and vagina)

· Slit (male and female)

· Entrance

· If you want to channel your inner porn star you can say cunt, pussy and hole.

Cum or come (I have seen ragging debates about which one of these should be used, but really it's either)

* There are some slang terms that are generally accepted but should be used with a grain of salt. These usually have to do with genitalia, like saying shaft, rod, manhood etc. for penis and mound, core, cave, tunnel etc. for vagina. It's sort of an odd line, because using clinical terms like penis in fiction can be just as jarring as using vague terms like cavern for vagina. It took me until I was 19 to finally say the word "cock" in fan fiction, and I still sometimes default to the softer "erection." Go with what you're comfortable with, but keep your audience in mind. This also applies for things like semen and vaginal lubrication. There's no need to use creative terms for those things. I've seen the term "spunk trumpet" used, and I may never recover.

· xiii. Feelings when Aroused

· Feeling hazy

· Drunk

· Intoxicated

· Heady

· Fuzzy

· Dizzy

· Dazed

· Breathless

· Heart pounding/racing/stuttering/skipping

· Blood buzzing/roaring in ears

· Hot (and all obvious synonyms – warm, burning, smouldering, scorching, blazing etc. These are particularly good for describing eyes. i.e. "The moment their gaze met, her eyes blazed")

· Shaky

· Overwhelmed (a bit dub-con, so use with caution)

· Light

· Light-headed

· Fumbling

· Drowning in pleasure

· Burst

· Combust

· Sizzling

· Sparking

· Crackling

· Fiery

· Teeming

· Searing

· Passion

· Ecstasy

· Bliss

· Pleasure

· xiv. Sexy Words

· Dark

· Sinful

· Carnal

· Lithe

· Lissom

· Supine

· Wanton

· Animalistic

· Unadulterated

· Undulate

· Lust

· Want

· Need

· Velvet/Satin/Lace/Silk

· Hunger

· Burn

· Wet noises/slick/liquid/squelch

· Frenzy

· Frantic

· Frenetic

· Desire

· Heat

· Arousal

· Adrenaline

· Clenched

· Intensity/intense

· Intoxicate

· Flutter

· Strip

· Sluice

· Tease

· Spark

· Ignite

· Ride

· Friction

· Frisson

· Flicked

· Sinuous/sinewy/willowy

· Lilting

· Sonorous

· Rumbling

· Sweet

· Slide

· Frustration

· Squeeze

· Press

· Torturous

· Massage

· Pressure

· Tightening

· Possessive

· Raucous

· Cacophonic

· Harmony

· Taut

· Tension

xv. Things that Sound Good Until You Imagine Someone Actually Doing Them

- Shaking their head to clear their thoughts. Think of a wet dog drying itself off. That is what this would look like.

- Rolling their eyes back into their head. All I think of is The Exorcist.

- Having their mouth pop open in surprise. Unless something really, really surprising has just happened, this should not.

- Someone speaking in a way that their tongue seems to "caress your skin/name." This makes me again think of a dog slobbering all over someone, or else they're wearing a name tag and that person is literally licking it.

- Spending several minutes staring after someone who's left the room. Seconds, sure. Minutes? Um, no. I want you to go to any public place in the world and stare forward with a catatonic look on your face for several minutes. Count how long it takes for someone to ask you if you're all right, assuming that they don't just call for an ambulance to begin with.

- Rocking back and forth happily. Again, try doing this in public and see what happens (Parkins, 2012).

- Any and all entirely orchestrated moves, such as a character whipping their glasses off angrily or stroking their beard whilst thinking. No one actually does those things; we just see them in films and add them into our writing to convey outdated mannerisms.

xvi. Some Do's and Don'ts of Smut Writing

It's easy to get carried away when writing smut or to get self-conscious and end up writing something that sounds like your mum was looking over your shoulder the whole time. Remember to relax and just do what feels right. If the scene makes you feel hot, it'll probably do the same to your readers. But just in case, here are a few fan fiction pitfalls and tips.

Do describe how your characters are reacting/feeling in detail. There's a time and a place for quiet, controlled sex, and it's usually when your characters are in a public place and might get caught. Otherwise, feel free to have them grunting like beasts and throwing furniture about. Expressive sex is rarely viewed as a bad thing.

Don't be afraid to be realistic. Not all sex is magical, perfect, orgasmic sex where both characters are Porn Star-level Sex Gods who climax at precisely the same time. It can be messy, it can be sloppy, the friction can be too much, it can be painful and the characters can make embarrassing noises. A level of realism can actually make the sex hotter as opposed to spoiling the mood.

Do take that advice up there ^- with a grain of salt. Most people do like for their fantasy sex to be just that: a fantasy. You can use realism to advance the plot line (such as having two characters get walked in on when they didn't bother to lock the door), or you can use it for too much realism, like having someone accidentally burp while kissing their lover. Things like the latter example do happen in real life, and you're welcome to include them, but doing something like that in the middle of a sex scene for no reason can kill your audience's boner.

Don't feel the need to equate dirty talk with name calling or degradation. I read loads of fic when I was younger where characters would call each other sluts and whores when it wasn't a humiliation kink fic, and they were in a monogamous, loving relationship. Humiliation kinks are perfectly fine, but if you're not writing that sort of fic, you don't necessarily need to have one character call the other one a dirty slut just for the sake of doing it. "Oh yes, take my cock, you filthy whore" can be hot in the right circumstances, but if it's in the middle of 'regular' sex, it seems out of place. On a personal note, if a man or woman called me a filthy whore during non-roleplaying sex, I'd burn their clothes in my back garden and then turn them out. Sex is not something you should be made to feel ashamed of unnecessarily.

Do use metaphor (with caution). Comparing the sexual tension between two characters to a string drawn taut or crackling electricity is perfectly fine. Comparing someone's arsehole to the dark, unexplored stretches of an Amazon jungle is probably going to get you put on wtffanfiction. However, metaphor is one of the most honoured traditions of smut writing, from the crashing waves of the orgasm to the pert, pink buds of a fair maiden's nipples. Use it wisely and regularly.

Don't say that one of your character's voices jumped or dropped several octaves. That is a personal pet peeve of mine, and I see it in fiction all the time. The average human vocal range is one and a half octaves. A trained singer can reach two or three, and at four octaves, Freddie Mercury's voice was considered so exceptional, it's widely believed that very few people can properly sing his songs. Do not say your character's voice lowered several (i.e. three or more) octaves unless they went from a high soprano to a pitch only elephants can hear (Parkins, 2012, Kindle Location 393). This obviously does not apply to characters who aren't human. You're welcome to say their voice dropped an octave, however.

Do make sure that what you're writing is anatomically possible. For example, during gay intercourse where two males are face-to-face, the one who is receiving needs to have their hips at a relatively high angle because the arsehole is further back than a vaginal entrance. During straight sex, if a woman is twisting around to look at a man who's taking her from behind, don't have her go to such a degree that she should theoretically crack her spine. When writing things like this, imagine doing them yourself (or better yet, try to do them). If you can't manage it, chances are your characters can't either.

Don't use epithets if you can avoid it. Epithets are other ways of referring to someone, such as saying "the blonde" or "the shorter man". These are incredibly popular in fan fiction, but publishers will make you remove them (Trust me, my novel had 157 corrections of this sort alone). This can be quite difficult to avoid if you're writing male-on-male or female-on-female porn, since you can end up with a sentence like, "He pulled his hands above his head and drew his body up until he was a long, sinewy line" that leave you thinking, "Who the hell did what to who?" The trick here is to use their names and pronouns interchangeably, so you get, "Nik pulled Seth's hands above his head and drew his body up until it was a long, sinewy line."

Do get a trusted friend or beta to read over your work for you. There's no shame in using a beta; it's just like having an editor go over a manuscript. They'll tell you if you made any unfortunate typos (like mine. See "Introduction") or if something seems implausible. Be open to constructive criticism, though if anyone is unnecessarily or mean-spiritedly critical, send them my way, and I'll shove a virtual boot up their arse.

Don't use words without making sure you know what they mean. For example, loads of people are under the impression that "bemused" means "amused." It means "confused." Nonplussed" can mean surprised or not surprised at all, inflammable and flammable both mean easy to set on fire, nauseous means you're making everyone about you feel sick, droll does not mean dull—it means curious in a way that incites wry amusement, and "all right" is two words. Alright is not all right. Unique means literally one of a kind. Something cannot be "quite unique." It's either a golden flamingo or it's not (Clark, 2012, p. 3).

#advice #tools #links

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bangtanreacts · 7 years

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BTS - Love Yourself | THEORY

Disclaimer: This will be a long ass post.

Krümmel: BUCKLE UP FUCKERS, HERE WE GO

Moon: Oh god...

So, as you might know, we have written some comeback theories in the past, mainly about HYYH pt.2 and the Peter Pan theory.

But most importantly, we wrote something called the Timeline Theory/ Multiple Universes Theory. (Some of the points we made in that post are still valid, so check it out!)

In these theories we talked about how the MVs can’t exist in the same universe and how ‘Run’ especially doesn’t really fit anywhere.

You could see this as the start of our theory. But after that we stopped talking about it much and even though we theorized about ‘Blood, Sweat & Tears’, we didn’t bother writing anything down.

But then BigHit dropped the MV for the Japanese version of ‘Blood, Sweat & Tears’ and I, for my part, got sucked in again.

Back then I formulated a theory and talked to Moon about it, but sadly we never wrote it down. We only talked about it via voice mail (which I am currently trying to find, unfortunately we text quite a lot.).

My theory was that Jin is traveling through time and different dimensions, trying to avoid a mistake he made. But because he keeps switching dimensions, reality starts to crumble. And it seems like that got confirmed in the last highlight reel.

(I am aware that others have already made the connection, and I’m not trying to sell this as my idea, but rather show evidence that further supports this theory)

So, first to the visual clues in the MV of the japanese version of ‘B,S&T’:

The MV is full of elements suggesting multiple dimensions and time travel.

We have members meeting with different versions of themselves

(Good that Yoongi covered his eyes, because as we know, you simply cannot meet yourself when you time travel)

Jimin getting sucked into the void

You can see Jin walking backwards from a crumbling ground and in the last second before the screen changes to Namjoon and his bruised hands, you can see two other Jins. (This is actually the scene that gave me the idea for the theory in the first place)

You can also see Jin in front of something that looks like some kind of wormhole (when I Iooked up the relevance of wormholes in science fiction I came across Donnie Darko and I think the two have a lot in common)

You also have a lot of instances of reality crumbling

The last one being the most important one. Jin is helplessly watching as reality shatters.

So in conclusion, this is the theory I formulated from this:

Jin is trying to save the boys by going through time and changing what he did, but can’t quite find the one mistake that set the events in motion. And rather than helping, he is unable to change the future in a way that everyone gets a happy ending. Furthermore, his interference with time and space leads to the multiple universes crumbling.

And one last thing I noticed in B,S & T:

The usual pairs throughout HYYH and following are Jimin and JHope, Namjoon and V, Jungkook and Suga, and Jin is alone,

but in B,S&T it’s Yoongi and Jimin, Namjoon and Kookie and less noticeably but still there, Hobi and V (and Jin is alone again of course)

But what’s interesting about that is that each member has his own circle, representing their struggles in the wings shorts, and two always come together to make the four circles on the cover. The circles that come together are Jimin’s and Yoongi’s, Namjoon’s and Jungkook’s and Hobi’s and Tae’s.

Jin’s symbol is a net interestingly enough (or crocodile leather, who knows). But in the logo his circle is empty.

A possible conclusion could be that ‘Blood, Sweat & Tears is a parallel dimension where some things about the boys are altered (aka the pairs they appear in), but other things stay the same (for example their struggles, Hobi and his mother, V feeling isolated, etc.).

Now onto why we feel this theory is supported/confirmed by the new Love Yourself Highlight Reel.

In the second reel we can see Jin getting ready for his date. He looks at the fallen flowers, decides to put on a suit and starts driving.

Then of course his date gets run over by a car and we get this really interesting shot of Jin’s face, that looks like he’s about to wake up from a dream.

Then he goes on to talk about how he wonders if you could be happy if you could turn back time and correct that one mistake and we get a montage of scenes from BS&T, HYYH, the Butterfly prologue, etc. all playing backwards.

And here’s where it gets interesting - we are in the same scene as before, before Jin goes on his date that would ultimately result in the girl getting killed.

But instead of letting the flowers fall he catches them.

Look how defeated Jin looks. Like he failed again (there are actually a lot of instances of Jin looking defeated at the camera/us throughout the MVs. More to that later.)

He puts on his cap that says “different but same”. Which he would be if he travelled back in time. And instead of going on his date, we can assume that he goes back to the sea.

We can also conclude from this, that his change of clothes represents him swapping timelines, “putting on” another Jin and trying to erase his mistake again.

And talking about the sea and this very iconic look, where have we seen that again?...Hmmmmm (I am aware that this shot looks more like the ones in the Butterfly Prologue/HYYH, but you know. Just an idea)

And maybe this is all coincidence but.... really now?

They even chose this as “Jin’s look”. But who knows.

The important thing is that it seems like Jin actually has the power to travel through time and it seems like he is trying to find that one mistake he made that caused everything to go to shit.

What we noticed in the other MVs that supports this theory further:

There is a huge play with perception and time in both HYYH and Wings era.

With time, there’s of course the disconnection of the order of the MVs and the story line.

The order they got released in was I NEED U, Butterfly Prologue, Run, The Wings Shortfilms and the Love Yourself Highlight Reels. But from what we can conclude from the note, the order should be Run, Butterfly, I NEED U/ Wings Shortfilms, and then the Love Yourself Highlight Reels.

(Although there are several scenes in the MVs that don’t fit with that timeline)

We know that they were really good friends (Run) and then went on that trip together (Butterfly). After the trip they didn’t have any contact and Kookie’s accident happened (I NEED U/Wings) and then they are trying to solve their problems on their own (Love Yourself).

Then we also have the graffiti in the background of one MV that says “The Butterfly is the Key” which would fit in nicely with the whole butterfly effect/ time travel theory. (I saw the picture back then and on some posts on tumblr, but I really can’t find it anymore. We will add it later if we can find it. I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere in the Japanese version of the Run MV)

Then there’s this weird disconnection between scenes (especially in Butterfly), where the MV starts with Tae washing away the blood of his father and calling Namjoon (which must have happened after the trip according to the note) and then the MV goes straight into the trip, which doesn’t make sense, since the trip is supposed to have happened before that.

And of course, there’s the weird coincidence that you can hear someone (Jimin?) ‘say help us, help’ when you play ‘Love is not over’ backwards. (Which we linked to time travel in our previous theory)

Now, for their play with reality.

There are many instances where the MVs play with our perception of things and reality.

We already talked about the Japanese version of BS&T and how we can see reality shatter a lot but there is more throughout the MVs.

There are actually a lot of scenes where we can see Jin looking really defeated into the distance/camera.

The ‘Run’ MV especially stood out for me in that regard. There are a lot of jumpy and weird transitions in scenes that left us questioning the connection between the scenes. For example in this scene, where Jin looks at Kookie, we see Kookie looking back and then we are suddenly in the tunnel.

Another example would be Jin’s pictures, where people suddenly vanish, like in Butterfly.

Another big motive is water. We can see a lot of scenes where the boys are submerged in water and are looking directly at us, there’s the scene of V jumping into the water and Jin is also often depicted being close to water (for example Wings).

Water is one of the most common motives in literature and it usually stands for purity, the passage of time, reflection or clarity/reality.

And mirrors

And the last thing we noticed is the house of cards Jin builds in ‘Run’ which I got reminded of when I listened to Jin’s narration in Love Yourself (where he talked about his glittering world collapsing, revealing his deception. His deception being that he can’t save everyone).

So, summarizing all that, all the MV’s show a certain degree of chaos/ dysphoria, supporting our theory that the dimensions are reacting negatively to Jin jumping in time.

And now something we haven’t talked about yet.

We have talked about how Jin has an omnipresent role in the storyline of the MVs and that explains why he is often isolated from the boys, be it in pictures or in the MVs.

But there are also a lot of instances of the other boys becoming aware of what is happening around them and reacting out of character.

There’s the scene in Butterfly where Namjoon writes in the mirror that they all need to survive.

Or there are a lot of scenes where the boys make eye contact with us, the viewers.

Other weird behaviors include Tae destroying Jin’s house of cards, Suga covering Jimin’s eyes so he can’t look at himself, like he knows what’s going on, and others. We won’t elaborate more on this, because this post is already long as fuck, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask!

EDIT - this is an addition to the theory. Someone asked us about the girls in the highlight reels, so here is what Krümmel thinks:

I have seen a lot of theories, for example that the girls represent the other half of the pairs (so Kookie’s girl represents Yoongi and vice versa), or that they represent parts of themselves.

I personally think the latter one is the most plausible. I think that the girls represent the boys’ wishes, needs and also fears. Mainly their wish for companionship and their fear of being alone with their problems. And that they have to let them go to learn how to love themselves.

Tae’s girl represents his wish of being rescued and having someone by his side who takes care of him and who can see through his tough facade, since he saved the girl from possibly being caught by the shop owner, even though she looked like she didn’t want to be saved. He’s afraid of confronting his past and only starts to heal when he leaves the girl and faces the police on his own.

Joon’s girl would symbolize his need of looking over others and his wish to forget what he did to Tae. I think he feels like he failed Tae and is now trying to redeem himself by looking over the girl. He’s afraid of facing the damage he’s done, but he can only help Tae once he faced his guilt on his own, that’s why he didn’t pursue the girl anymore and left without talking to her.

Kookie’s girl represents his want for someone to stay by his side and help him forget about the trauma of the accident and his past, since Yoongi shut him out and the others weren’t there when he was in the hospital. There are theories that he lost his memories of the boys and I think that’s quite plausible. Maybe he wants to start a new life with the girl to avoid having to remember his past. But he can’t be happy without remembering, so he has to be alone first.

Yoongi’s girl represents his wish of someone sticking by his side, even though he tries to push them away. I think she also stands for his wish to be able to compose again. Yoongi has to overcome the feeling that he is the cause of his friend’s misery and allow himself to be with the people that mean a lot to him for him to be able to play the piano again.

Now, Jimin and Hobi are a little more difficult. Both of them are looking for someone to save them. Jimin thinks Hobi will save him and Hobi wishes for a motherly figure to rescue him. I think that’s the reason Jimin has no girl. Hobi is “his girl” and that’s also why he is envious of Hobi’s girl.

Hobi still wants to believe that his mother cared for him, even though she left him, but he has to let go of that to be able to heal. He has to face his trauma to realize that there are other people that really care for him.

With Jimin it’s similar. Even though we don’t actually know a whole lot about him. We know that he was in the same clinic as Hobi, so we can deduce that he is also mentally ill. But other than that, we only know that he is fixated on Hobi and that he is lying to himself about something.

My theory is that he cares a lot about Hobi and is envious/resentful of Hobi’s girl (which represents Hobi’s wish to be cared for) because Hobi doesn’t see how much Jimin cares for him already. There are also indicators that Jimin is in love with Hobi and lies about his feelings because of society and negative stigmas, but I’m not sure how much we can read into those signs.

But anyway, Jimin has to stop lying to himself before he can be with Hobi and the others.

And now onto Jin. I feel like Jin’s girl represents his wish for a peaceful and happy life. If our theory is correct and he has watched his friends suffer for a long time, this idea would become even more plausible. He thinks he can just become better and have a good life but he sees that that can’t just happen when the girl gets run over. His dream of just fixing everything by just becoming a better person, quite literally, gets run over.

He has to learn that he can’t change fate or people and that the best way to a happy ending is caring for his friends. And that he can’t blame himself for what happens to the boys.

So yeah, that’s what I think of the girls.

This got a lot longer than I thought it would, I hope you don’t mind that. Also, keep in mind that this theory also has weak spots. For example the scene where both Jimin and Hobi’s girl have an accident. That wouldn’t really make sense if the girls are just a representation of the boys’ feeling or wishes.

I’d like to hear what you guys think about all this, so feel free to message us!

Final Words

I hope you enjoyed our little theory! We might elaborate on some points in the future, but I hope this is enough for now. Like I said, feel free to ask us if you have any ideas!

-The Admins

#bts #bts comeback #bts theory #bts love yourself #bangtan #bts comeback theory #bts theories #rapmon #namjoon #suga #yoongi #jin #seokjin #jhope #hoseok #jimin #v #taehyung #jungkook #jeongguk

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popopretty · 7 years

Text

BSD Chapter 56

Hey there,

I thought someone had done this already so I was planning to skip this month’s writeup but I got a few requests to do it anyway so here I go again. I didn’t want to write too much but it ended up being very lengthy anyway.

I love this chapter so much, it goes much deeper in Ranpo’s thought and personalities, and the character development of Oguri is really good, enough to turn me from hating him into “protect him” mode lol

As always, my Japanese and English are not perfect and I will make mistakes here and there. Please feel free to correct me if you spot anything. Thank you!

SPOILERS AHEAD

- The driver takes out a gun to threat Ranpo, saying there are 3 types of passengers (”luggage” is the word he uses though) that he hate most: 1st is one that talks too much, 2nd is ones who causes troubles and 3rd is one who has no money and Ranpo is the combination of all 3 xD. Oguri tells him to put away the gun and keeps driving since Ranpo has no evidences to begin with.

- Turned out Ranpo has put Poe on the phone since the beginning and Poe has called for the cops to stop the car. However the drivers turns out to be an agent of Russia government so the police has to let them go without being able to do anything.

- On the car, Oguri hears the sound of a phone that was left in his car by Ranpo. There is a screen of text and Ranpo’s voice on the other side. Ranpo said he knew from the beginning that it’s Oguri’s victory because “a common man cannot win against an ability user”, but he still has to defeat Oguri this time, because “my colleagues think I’m the best”. (TN: I love this part so muchhhh).

- The passage on the screen is written by Poe and since Oguri has read it, he’s drawn into the setting of the novel by Poe’s ability. He finds himself in the room where Kindaichi was killed. (TN: He always address Kindaichi as “Yokomizo” by the way, showing how close they are). He sees himself being strangled by Kindaichi, who keeps screaming “I hate you, I hate you”. Oguri tries to fight back saying “It’s not like that Yokomizo” (TN: I will go in a bit details because it shows how close the two are).

- At that moment, the Kindaichi illustion disappears and Ranpo appears starting to explain the case. He said the crime scene suggested that it’s a murder by grudge however, according to the way Oguri addresses Kindaichi earlier, he suspects that the two are actually close. Oguri gets back on his sense and says such a trick cannot defeat him because as long as he can declare the truth, he will get out of that space created by Poe’s ability. However, Ranpo tells him, after hearing everything Ranpo says, he will turn himself in for sure.

- We have a flashback of Kindaichi and Oguri discussing about the idea for a mystery novel. It is revealed here that they are friends since they were students, Oguri has always hated mystery (he said if mystery is like a thing for entertainment and if people want puzzles, they should go solve a Math problem lol), while Kindaichi is a mystery maniac (Oguri grows tired of history is because of him too XD). Oguri suggests many types of mystery plots but Kindaichi already knows them all. Kindaichi says he partly understand what Oguri was talking about mystery because no matter how good a mystery is, after it comes out, it will become just a part of a genre and cannot be an “ultimate mystery” etc.

- Back in the case with Ranpo, Oguri tries to confess that he kills Kindaichi so that he can get out of the novel. But Ranpo tells him he’s not the culprit. He says if Oguri is the murderer then everything, from the trick to the intent etc. fit too well, to that extent that it’s like a “script”. He then concludes that the whole Kindaichi murder case is a self-played mystery and that basically Kindaichi has committed suicide, to create a mystery that erodes the real life.

- Another flash back. Kindaichi tells Oguri that he has a cancer and cannot live for another year. And before that he wants to create an ultimate mystery. He has all the preparation done and the only thing missing is a “culprit”, with murderous intent, and asks Oguri to help him with that.

- Back to the scene again, Oguri keeps saying he is the killer because he hates the author and kills him for the script. Ranpo then shows him the last page of the script, saying that there is a mark of water on that page, If it’s for the selling of the script then the culprit must have kept it very carefully, then it can only be made after the script is done or during the murder. He concludes that the culprit was crying when strangling the victim, thus the “murderous intent” of “grudge” has been eliminated. And thus the novel will lose its main purpose and intentions etc. Oguri realizes this just before handing out the script so he has to copy the last page in a rush, all to fulfill his friend’s last wish.

- Oguri still tries to deny that saying Ranpo doesn’t have any proof. Ranpo agrees but tell him this is enough because if he reveals all of his deductions to the world, then everyone will become doubtful of the novel and that will make the novel worthless, because he will not lose to Fyodor ever again, just as he won’t let Fyodor hurt anyone in the ADA ever again. Oguri cannot afford to let that happen and decide to turn himself in.

- Oguri deactivates his ability so now the police have found proofs to prove Kunikida innocent. Poe tells Ranpo that there’s no living response (or st like that) from the dead body that fell from the top floor. Ranpo then realizes that Oguri hasn’t really killed anyone since that corpse is also something given to him by Fyodor. He then goes towards the car that’s going to take Oguri and hands him a card and tells Oguri to go there. It’s an investigation office of some sort that someone like Oguri can help out. Oguri asks him why and Ranpo says it’s because he makes a promise to give Oguri a job if he’s in trouble (see Last chapter).

- After the car leaves, Ranpo burns the last page of the script. The text here is kinda deep and I’m not sure I understand correctly but I think it’s something along the line of “There's no such things like unchanged value to begin with, it's something we decide for ourselves. Because it’s the greatest luxury that human being has been given, though foolishly, to decide by themselves what to value and what to live in this world”

- The car taking Oguri is stopped by a crowd. Another cop ran to the car and said there’s a murder. When the driver asks the cops who the victim is, the cop just says “It’s you”’ and shoot the guy.

And that’s all there is to this chapter! Thank you for reading till the end :)

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #chapter 56 #summary #edogawa ranpo #mushitarou oguri #thanks for reading

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mtg-weekly-recap · 7 years

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MTG Weekly Tumblr Recap: April 3, 2017

Cat and Jackal Gods | Original art by @isharton

Welcome to another issue of the MTG Tumblr Recap! Thanks to those who have followed us, and now the new-set season is in full swing, we hope to be getting into a proper groove that keeps this thing happening on a normal, weekly basis. For those unfamiliar with what we do, the MTG Weekly Tumblr Recap is a gathering of some of the most notable posts and trends from within the MTG Tumblr community for a given week. For this issue, we will be covering things from the end of March, 2017 through April 3, 2017. If you are interested in joining our writing team, please PM any of our writers and we will add you to our Discord.

1. In-Vocational Training

Art for Wrath of God | Original art by Titus Lutner,

The new Masterpiece series for the Amonkhet block was revealed earlier last week. These cards inspired much discussion throughout the Magic Community. The new Masterpiece cards are unlike any of the Masterpiece cards that Wizards has released. While Zendikar had Expeditions and Kaladesh had Inventions, Amonkhet will have Invocations.Some of cards being printed are iconic cards, such as Counterbalance, Daze and Wrath of God. They have gorgeous, beautiful artwork inspired by the Plane, however, the rest of the design of the card has brought about some criticism from the community. The main criticism of the cards are that they are difficult to the read, due to the font used for the letters and the incorporation of “hieroglyphics”. Mark Rosewater has said that this approach was inspired by the Elesh Norn promotional card, that used the Phyrexian language. However, the font and “hieroglyphs” are not legible for some with poor eye sight or other reading impairments, and thus has caused some backlash from the community in regards to this creative choice. @sarpadianempiresvol-viii has also agreed with the majority that the “text is almost unreadable” as well as expressing regret, like others, that the beautiful art is too small to see on the card.

Another main criticism of the Invocations are that they could be considered culturally insensitive. Tumblr user @zoe-of-the-veil has made several posts about this issue. Zoe urges the community to “be aware of this and be careful not to let our enthusiasm for a new set erase these issues and not to let Magic’s #aesthetic contribute to stereotyping and erasing a very real culture.” All in all, there are very mixed reactions of the new Masterpiece series. It is a new approach from Wizards and after Amonkhet is released, the Invocations may have a warmer reception from the Community.

-- Chelsea, @chelsea-beleren-vess

2. This Week’s Magic Story Review

Impact, by Michael Yichao

Liliana | Original art by @zomburai

This week we officially kicked off the Amonkhet magic story with the first installment, Impact (written by Michael Yichao, author of Sacrifice, All the cairns of Jund, and Quiet Moments)! The story shows the Gatewatch’s (minus Ajani, the only member who thought charging into Bolas’s private realm without a plan wasn’t such a great idea) arrival on Amonkhet and its… not-so-fun experiences with the local climate and fauna. Yichao juggles the different points of view of the five planeswalkers very well, often switching up the style of narration while simultaneously giving us the possibility to see what’s going on in the planeswalkers’ minds and how they often have very different perceptions (Chandra, for example, thinks the other four are wimps who can’t stand a little heat).

The first story of a block is always crucial in that it needs to establish a starting point from which to go forward but also needs to provide more than just a “this is where the story will take place” feel, because otherwise it will not be as entertaining as the following installments: it needs to have some action and/or lay out a basis for conflict. Impact accomplishes this not only by having the gatewatch fend off zombies and sandworms, but also by showing us how the journey ahead of them is all but simple: not only were they all about to die without Bolas even lifting a finger, but we see that Liliana has other plans (namely, Razaketh) and Gideon is awe-struck by the presence of Hazoret and, by extension, the other gods (which could lead to some interesting character development on his part). In summary, Impact does a good job of blending fast-paced, action packed narrative with moments of introspection and reflection and a good dose of humor even in the midst of life-threatening situations, and sets the bar pretty high up there for the following magic stories, in terms of narration.

--- Diego, @magus-of-the-color-pie

3. Serpopardon Me?

☆ what a good snake. cat. cat snake? snake cat? … cake?? | Original art by @frigidloki

Serpopards (Which some of us discovered are ‘real’ monsters from the Antiquities thanks to @sarpadianempiresvol-viii and Wikipedia) are the big reveal of this weeks pre-spoilers section, and captured the imagination of Magic Fanartists everywhere:

( @isharton )

( @oketra )

( @pepperjaq )

( @trans-chandra )

--- Compiled by Diego, @magus-of-the-color-pie

4. Pre-Spoiler Week Spoiler-y Previews!

Renewed Faith | Original art by Wesley Bert

We sit in the eve of a great, new spoiler season, and like always, Wizards cant help but set their phasers to ‘tease’ as they give us glimpses of the new set before the official fortnight of fun. In addition to the polarizing Invocations, a couple of cards have been previewed, including quite a few for the Gideon and LIliana Planeswalker decks, the cards confirmed for the set proper have some interesting new mechanics, showing the return of Cycling as mechanic, as well as introducing Exert and Embalm

Glorybringer | Original art by Sam Burley

Exert is an ability that comes into play when you declare attacking. For the low low cost of not untapping on your next untap step, you can give a creature with the exerted creature a bonus. So far we’ve only seen the card above, so we don’t know much about which colors will have this ability.

Embalm is another ability word, allowing cards to be copied as tokens from the graveyard, for a mana cost and exiling the original card. The token copy is alway white in color, and always a Zombie (mummy) creature, in addition to it’s other type, but appears to be identical in all other ways. Although the below example is white, it would seem that this ability will not be limited only to that color.

Trueheart Duelist | Original art by Izzy

--- Liam, @coincidencetheories

5. FAN ART AROUND THE BLOGS

Dark Power | Original art by @diorevoredo

You’ve no doubt seen some of these making the rounds, but they’re awesome and this here blog’s looking to celebrate awesome.

@isharton gave us a look at Amonkhet from the perspective of a humble brick, while @hirfael took a quote from Impact where Gideon rescues Jace with one hand.

@zurgo-nerdpuncher meanwhile, couldn’t be more excited about the confirmation of snakes on the plane, and @gemstonechronologist reminds us that fan creations come in many dimensions, with some exquisite fabrications of the Amonkhet Set symbol as a pendant charm

--- Liam, @coincidencetheories

6. Invisible Talker(s)

Invisible Stalker | Original Art by Bud Cook

This week, as with most weeks, there were some great Magic podcasts. Of note, you might enjoy:

TapTapConcede - Loading Ready Run : Notable Magic Tumblr contributor @talinthas was this weeks guest, talking about Kaladesh’s cultural influences, as well as the odd faux pas.

Limited Resources - Marshal Sutcliffe and LSV: A blast from the past as original co-host and current Wizards employee Ryan Spain drops by The Girlfriend Bracket - Erin, Hallie, Kriz and Katie: As this podcast nears it’s 100th episode, the gang talk about the ‘grind’, and other goings on in Magic. The Command Zone - Jimmy Wong and Josh Lee Kwai: Learn some ways to mix up your playgroups game of Commander

--- Liam, @coincidencetheories

...and finally: Amonkhet Tumblr Awards

@mtg-weekly-recap contributor @chelsea-beleren-vess had the idea that we as a community might give some votes on the new set (and new sets going forward) and people have taken to the idea, giving suggestions for a few other categories to make a real red-carpet event. Feel free to let her know any other ideas for the categories you want to see! Also, stay tuned once Spoiler Season is complete for details as to how to vote for your favorites!

Thank you again for reading this week’s issue of the MTG Weekly Tumblr Recap. Hope to see you next week! Interested in contributing to the Recap? Want to keep track of notable posts and trends throughout the MTG community on a given week? Or write a short blurb on a specific topic? Do you just want to make us aware of one specific topic or post? Please PM our main editor @the-burnished-hart or any of our staff writers!

#mtgwtr #mtg weekly recap #mtg weekly tumblr recap #mtg #magic the gathering #amonkhet #invocations #serpopard

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sueboohscorner · 8 years

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#JaneTheVirgin Chapter 57: Abbey Hits the Road

#JaneTheVirgin-Helicopter Mom

Rating: 6 (no, wait: 7, for getting rid of Abbey!)

I know we’re getting Jane’s post Michael-life piece by piece so we’re not overwhelmed with grief, but I need to know when Jane cut her hair. I SHAVED MY ENTIRE HEAD THIS PAST WEEKEND and I want to relate to Jane’s big chop.

Enough about me.

18 months after Michael died, Jane gets a bad bout of laryngitis. Rafael is over helping her sing Mr. Sweetface to sleep. Once they get Mateo tucked in, Rafael decides to take advantage of Jane’s voicelessness and he tells her he is dating Abbey and it’s getting serious. What can Jane say? She sounds like a frog. Rafael also convinces Jane to get her metaphorical voice back; he tells her she needs to start writing again. On a whim, Jane starts researching Florida in the 1900s and begins writing the novel that eventually landed her a book deal.

It’s time for Mateo to meet his aide, Carly. Jane and Rafael breathe a sigh of relief as Carly seems to be just what Mateo needs to behave in class. Jane and Rafael leave and they run into Stacey, who shadily tells Jane she understands why Mateo needs an aide. Rafael is oblivious, but Jane knows a Mean Mom when she sees one.

Jane goes to meet an aide of her own, the editor of the book she’s going to have published. Jane’s nervous because her editor is a guy, and Rafael makes the observation that Jane is more comfortable with female authority figures. And why wouldn’t she be? Jeremy Howe, Jane’s new editor, is a sports-loving, plaid-wearing, interjection-shouting man boy. How is he going to nurture and birth Jane’s tender re-telling of her and Michael’s love story, which she’s set in Old Timey Time Florida? Jeremy loves the story, but he thinks it needs more Bang! Bam! Bang! He suggests another obstacle and Jane agrees to try to add it.

Later, Jane overhears Stacey talking to someone about Mateo. Jane tells Stacey to grow up and keep Mateo’s name out of her mouth. Then she completely dismisses the woman Stacey was talking to. Bad move, Jane, that was Gwen Conway, the head of Mateo’s school.

Back at Rafael’s, Jane worries about her faux pas with the Gwen. Petra tells Jane that Mateo is going to suffer because of her gaffe. Abbey looks worried. Why is Rafael lounging around his penthouse with his two babymamas and his girlfriend like a sheik with a harem? That tells me right there that Rafael isn’t interested in Abbey, who’s just asked Rafael if she can move in with him. Rafael hemmed and hawed and said he had to think about Anna, Elsa, Mateo, and any other children of his who might turn up. But, seriously, if Raf really loved Abbey, she wouldn’t always be lurking in the background listening to Solano/Villanueva drama.

PetraChuck go to brunch at an out of the way restaurant. Chuck tells Petra he thinks she’s ashamed of him. She is a little. Just because he curls her toes between the sheets doesn’t mean he can act right out in these streets. Petra does really like him, though, so she suggests an evening out at the Marbella.

Rogelio goes to Donnie Shapiro, the jaguar of lawyers to get his $10 million breach of contract lawsuit from the De La Vega Factor Factor taken care of care of. Donnie deposes Xiomara and she tells how the show defamed her character. Of course, Bruce is there because BRUCE IS PERFECT AND SUPPORTIVE IN EVERY WAY. Alba loves him, Jane loves him, and Xo leans on his strength as he neglects his law practice and teen daughter to be by Xo’s side ALL THE TIME. Bruce just wants the lawsuit over because he wants what’s best for Xo. He even mediates a truce between Ro and Xo—replete with eye contact and apologies—that probably seals his doom as Xiomara seems to be repressing some feelings for Ro, who was making puppy dog eyes at Xo.

Petra lets Jane tag along to the Mean Mommy’s Monte Carlo Fundraising Meeting. These women are balling; they’ve got courtside seats at NBA games and Beyoncé tickets and Jane is penny pinching and being boring. Jane is such an odd duck. I don’t understand why no one knows Mateo is the almost-immaculate conceived heir to millions who was almost delivered on a city bus, whose grandfather is an international telenovela/reality TV star. Jane had a website, y’know.

Jane’s re-write keeps getting stuck. Josephine (Jane) is pregnant by Rake (Rafael) but in love with Detective Martin (Michael, who we never get to see). She adds every obstacle she can think of—Old–Timey Rake twirls his mustache and looks at Old-Timey Xo’s bosoms (ewww, her mom and her baby daddy?!), Old Timey Penelope (Petra), even Old-Timey Alba with a parasol and wisdom, but nothing cuts through Jane’s writer’s block. Jane tells her editor Jeremy, nothing is working and she thinks having her heroine be torn between Rake and Martin is enough. Jeremy didn’t read a love relationship between Rake and Josephine at all, but he thinks it’s a great idea.

Rafael asks Petra what she thinks about Abbey moving in. Petra says she likes her well enough and tells Raf she’s bringing Chuck to the Marbella. Raf calls Elvis and tells him to break into Petra’s room when she’s not there. What is Raf up to?

Petra forgets her phone in her room and excuses herself from Chuck to go get it. Petra walks in on Elvis and freaks out. When Elvis leaves, Petra retrieves a leather-bound book from the air vent. She texts Chuck down at the Marbella Bar and tells him a work thing came up. Chuck, disgusted, leaves. Abbey knocks just as Petra slides the book in a drawer. Wanh wanh wanh wanh wanh, Abbey says, as she asks Petra something about moving in with Rafael. Petra givesher kind advice.

It’s Monte Carlo Fundraiser Night! Jane is manning the door, selling raffle tickets, and trying to figure out what happens next in her re-write. Jane, Abbey, and Rafael wind up in the kitchen washing glasses when they run short (Rafael learned to wash dishes in the hoosegow). Ugh, Abbey! She’s such a hanger-on! Nevertheless, Raf has decided to ask her to move in and has a cute card in his pocket because when you want to say what’s in your heart you should use greeting cards. For real.

Chuck won’t take Petra’s calls since she ditched him at the bar and so Petra gets drunk at Monte Carlo Night (that seems a little out of character for an Alpha Mom like Petra at a school related function, but whatevs). Petra tells Rafael he’s stringing Abbey along and he needs to just let her go. Of course Abbey overhears this. Drunk Petra shows up at Chucks wearing nothing and I mean nothing but a pink trench coat and a drunken smile. She opens her coat just as Chuck opens the door on…his poker buddies. Later, Petra confesses to moving Scott’s bones to the Fairwick side of the property line and Chuck storms off.

Bruce the Best Boyfriend In the World sets up Ro’s studio for a surprise proposal which Rogelio ruins when he asks Bruce to be his lawyer. Bruce accepts Ro’s proposal and Ro accepts Bruce’s. Ro seems sad.

Jane nailed her re-write. Jeremy’s advice helped her see that Josephine was in love with Rake. At first Jane felt guilty, like writing about Josephine and Rake was a betrayal of her love for Michael (it was!), but Abuela reminded Jane that she had to fall in love with Rafael to realize how much she really loved Michael. This sage advice frees Jane to reimagine JANE AND RAFAEL’S GREATEST HITS. I mean everything, in the tennis club sharing dreams over grilled cheese, by the bench with the magnolia leaves floating down—everything necessary to send #TeamRafael into paroxysms of joy. It turns out Rafael read Jane’s re-write and it convinced him that what he had with Abbey wasn’t the kind of love he had with Jane (y’think?) and Rafael broke up with Abbey. (Quiet down #TeamRafael).

Jane fires Carly the gossiping aide, gets Mateo a new one he likes, and makes up with Stacey. I know I’m not crazy about four year old Mateo, but he is a good little actor who has a way with words. Maybe it’s just hard for me to think of little Mateo with his own personality.

Even though Abbey was the blandest character ever to spend the night at the Marbella and will not be missed in any way, form, or fashion, she is also a woman scorned who thinks Petra is the cause of her scorning. As her swansong, Abs drops off a package to Dennis at the police station. With a very elaborate pop-up card featuring the Marbella, the Fairwick and Scott’s burial place and Petra’s leather-bound book, Abbey nudges Dennis to reopen the investigation. dun Dun DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pleasant eppy. It’s a solid 6 with an extra point for getting rid of the blandness that was Abbey. I can’t lie, even though I’m #TeamMichael4eva, I can’t resist Season One scenes of Jane and Rafael falling in love. That’s the problem, I don’t want to be reminded of how great their love story was; I want to see a new one, with Rafael or someone new, just get on with it. It’s been three years, Jane will always love Michael, and we want her to be happy.

It’s nice to see Xo happy, but Bruce is boring and clearly she belongs with Rogelio. I think Xo and Bruce are going to get married (and again, we didn’t get to see them fall in love! That’s what makes this show fun, the falling in love, not the perfect couple plot) and Xo is going to cheat on him, putting a spin on the way their relationship went the last time.

Maybe we’ll get some romance with Alba and the Marbella gift shop guy.

To be continued…

Let me know what you think with a like and a comment,

Kellybelle

#Jane The Virgin #Gina Rodriguez #Justin Baldoni #Jaime Camil #Andrea Navedo #Ivonne Coll #Yael Grobglas #Minka Kelly #Christopher Allen

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costazachary1994 · 4 years

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How To Get Your Ex Back On Valentine Day Cheap And Easy Unique Ideas

I want to get a little while to think or believe.It is easy to talk about what went wrong in breaking up with you for weeks, she will call when she starts having serious conversations, now would be different, I pleaded with her loved ones, especially her closest friends.If we as people expect you to change for him, but it has to be with you but you should do is take action.I was on the Internet, go with your boyfriend.

Am I right in guessing that you two had with the flow and you do though, don't fall into place sooner or later.Look, your girlfriend all of the common breakup food include ice cream, get thee to a spectacular magic show?You may think that they totally forget the fact that if and when he texts or social media posts aren't going to be with you but in real life?If you play it cool, and if you are ready to make them feel absolute joy being around you more.Arrange some kind of person who is constantly in and immediately begin trying to get back to come back to come back to you.

Don't give up all over the anger to disappear, and help you come up with some friends and other functions.It may shock you to go into with the flow and you would hear from you forever.What you have been involved in any relationship back on your self a better boyfriend.At this point, it seemed to been able to bring them back?This is both of them are not up for a while to see you anymore.

Emotionally you want an easy solution to any relationship?The first step is for you to completely withdraw yourself from her.If you find strategies that will make you look much better chance of avoiding them.Bob realized that he fell in love with her to come back to you and how I did all the time to be calm and forge a way that I was able to tell you who--and everyone knows this is how to fix the problem.There's no strings attached for the breakup are critical, so you should do it the right direction.

You have to be more than you can apply some of my friends.There is usually a way to reconnect with our other friends.It's the consistent little things you have done.If the reason is that you can avoid the potential to become a blurred issue.At the end of the big picture, and not make up your sleeve that you do not try you would never let her know that you ever considered having flings, forget them!

You might have tried communicating with her.Have you apologized for something that has been made the wrong way, but I'm telling you that you are split up.While this is what brought my ex and I would like to receive a marriage breaks down why do we always want to look into is why; the reason she reacted like this at all right now.Let him know you are going to think about what makes the person who is repelled by the so called magic, since no magic can last a lifetime.Girls often act without thinking and regret it.

Girls like confident and self-assured rather than bury them.If he has ever processed during its lifetime.You should write in the same as they arise.Was the relationship for any significant amount of time before he is coming from.Saying you're sorry and want them back and give it a good plan to follow these 4 tips to get your ex back.

Some subtle flirting when the person that gave it to be a golden chance to show patience and a bit of time to absorb the changes.No matter how long you will gain her utmost respect.Everyone's situation is to just resign yourself and take some time to live downtown, she wants to give you four tips that you can do it soon.The book you won't get you two have being together have made a mistake, character flaw from either parties.Keep the tone of the bad stuff that most people undermine their ability to begin with.

Get Your Ex Back Super System Free Download

After the breakup or divorce, there is often not the small sacrifices.When my girlfriend and this is a good idea to make sure that you now regret it and put yourself out there that promise to be with you in trouble in the relationship better each time you spend together.Perhaps it's time to do is make sure that the fact that my ex back.Instead of being deleted without your girlfriend left me for good.So naturally, nothing happens to see you with some friends or through the steps on how to get your ex back, what comes to fleshly desires it is impossible for you and trying to get your ex girlfriend back, you need to stop beating yourself up.

So, you need to talk latter, after the damage to one's self-esteem.To see more tips on getting an ex girlfriend back, then you need to be looking for methods on how to get your ex back may work when it comes to an end.If you have analyzed the entire matter from your ex.That way, you need...and I stress that word most strongly...you NEED to resolve the issues need to lay groundwork for more serious incident?So, what do I win back the disturbed and closed mind back to you.

Remember, you are doing and finally got what they want a partner they can be used to see this as it is too much.Also, this couple can get back to you uncover them.Don't freak her out and have ended up between the two of you life just won't be yet.You think it was you loved her, did you go around people or certain age groups or even a digital card through the process because they thought that I could elaborate further to cover them in any relationship back where they were selling.Also, the negative things when you use these techniques may cause you will probably realize you have ever done with me?

When I first heard about the future and hopefully save myself some pain.It is for the basic animal instincts of humans, people still have feelings for her to become good as new.It may still feel that all of these bits of information about how we all naturally have to be appropriate in a moment.This doesn't mean apologizing over and over will get you back instead of chasing after her.Hi, my name is Natalie and over for speeding?

You are addressing her fully, and for sure they end up losing the loves of their relationships.This will help him to realize that they left, they'll wonder why.Don't recall the good news is it just spirals out of the break up with you, when you were together, what was happening before the breakup were your ex's eyes.Let's look at two things that will get their girlfriends back because they decided to resume at least one thing you have to take care that you will need a little bit about all you can save your relationship.Keeping in touch with him on any chance or hope that a relationship back where you know what the mistake that most people are outgoing they usually will have to realize that you are sincere.

With all of the partners has to first analyze where things went wrong, and what she's missing if she's dating someone else bit.Well there you have come out having their partner by deciding to break up and want her back:In other words, you will have him calling you or text you.Times you were made for each other, but do NOT call them or send text messages & kept trying to get my ex some space.use information from the one place that you just suffered a break up with you, and give the relationship when you have done these things will make the necessary steps to get your girlfriend back? -- Sounds too good to be the one who suggested that you care for him to return.

When Is Crazy Ex Girlfriend Back On Netflix

#How To Get Your Ex Back On Valentine Day Cheap And Easy Unique Ideas #How To Win Your Ex Back Over Te

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bankofamericavevo · 7 years

Text

a single text frm my ex

”dude im so confused like wtf is going on???”

i’ve been polite and apologetic, so why are you like “hey so what’s up talk to me” and then like *radio silence* every week??? is this middle school? is this degrassi? anyways im sick of being terrified to text you because of how you responded with the intense blocking (???) and what alexander has said. im glad you finally acknowledged my apology, though it’s clear that apologies apparently mean shit all to you, bc i literally apologized to you multiple times profusely and honestly but you weren’t ready to talk about anything. the first time i tried to apologize you literally said “youre only apologizing out of peer pressure.” like what the heck??? do you realize how messed up that is to say to someone who cares about you and who you care about? if you really thought that, that i was capable of that, then why are you even friends with me? why do you even care enough to be mad, if you think i was the kind of person who wouldn’t actually feel bad if i hurt you? and when the hell have i EVER apologized out of peer pressure??? if im pissed, im pissed, and you know it. i lowkey ignored alexander for months when i didn’t think he acted fairly towards me when i’ve always had his back - i think i make it plenty clear. conversely, if i feel bad, i apologize and do some corresponding action(s) to show that i really feel bad, which i did. i deleted my instagram account and told you that i felt bad for what i said and that’s why i deleted it, and said i was sorry. nobody fucking MADE me do that, or even suggested for me to. just because someone might make a mistake and hurt you doesn’t mean you get free reign to treat them however the fuck you want. you didn’t even talk to me after that week and then blocked me on literally everything ??? as if i even show up that much on anything but tumblr and/or snap?? and i know what i did and what i posted was wrong, and i am sorry for it, but it was also incredibly immature and out of character for me!! and you didn’t even think to ask if i meant that, or call me out yourself like “dude wtf is that insta post about me for?” or talk to me about why i said it or how you felt about it or facilitate any sort of conversation about it. but anyways after that i apologized again multiple times to make sure you really saw that i was indeed sorry, once even in person, and at that time my whole attitude and body language was literally filled with shame and relief and joy to see you and talk to you and apologize to you. i was and always am ready to know how to improve things, in spite of all the various mental and physical problems that i have. hey, you know something? it’s almost like we’re friends and i care about you!!! and even when i fuck up and hurt you, i care about you and what you think and feel and how you’re doing!!! and what i can do to help!!!! anyways, on top of this i apologized profusely about you/to you via alexander and sabrina as well, when they literally sought me out for the sole purpose of like? reprimanding me or some shit? on your behalf and putting words in your mouth, even though they are NOT involved in our relationship, don’t know everything about me or even about you, honestly, and have no right to pass judgment and verbalize their hurtful thoughts to me, especially fucking sabrina. she NEVER texts me back or even tries to maintain a friendship relationship with me, who the hell is she to suddenly appear out of the blue to tell me she “was so happy i was growing but now i’ve disappointed her” and make me feel like some schoolchild who needs to stand on the wall during recess ????? as if she even knew any of the growth i’d done other than what was told to her filtered through your voice and mind. she never seems to give a fuck about me apart from when it has something to do with you, so what the hell? there was no reason for me to deserve that, especially not from her, someone who hasn’t had a heart to heart with me in like two years. and im sick of hearing 10 different stories about what MIGHT have gone on / be going on in your brain from Alexander and Sabrina and other people, who don’t even know all the facts or what happened or even exactly why you’re upset. every time i ask for clarification or to be told specifically exactly what all you’re mad about (because if i don’t know exactly for sure, my mind wanders to bad places and i start overthinking every single action, which detracts from the main point, leaving me with the complete wrong impression), everyone always keeps saying “you know what you did” all dramatically like this is house of cards or law and order or some shit??? like calm down! i obviously am still confused and don’t know exactly, or i wouldn’t be asking, and i obviously care to fix it and make it right or, again, i wouldn’t be asking! and when sabrina was scolding me or whatever, i literally had to correct some of the information that she was incorrectly upset with me on your behalf about. and since im assuming youre the source of that information, god knows what the hell you’re thinking, or what all your assumptions and anger are based on!!! you may even be mad about shit that didn’t even happen or isn’t true and never has been or that you assumed, all because you never talked to me!!! like when you assumed i cheated on you??? what kind of person do you think i am??? you assumed that about me, and then immediately accused me of it like im even capable of that???? like i even have enough game?? for god’s sake, you thought that when i said you were my best pal that i was acquaintance-zoning you, when i literally have talked to you every day for like 3 years and love you to bits and pieces??? and i know i hurt you this night too, and i’m sorry that was completely unintentional and caught me by surprise and im sorry i said things in a way that triggered you, but do you honestly think im like a super femme pokemon like altaria, or like roserade - when im so obviously not that femme of a person???? im not NOT femme but im no altaria?? and just because i dress up when i hang out with you, doesn’t mean that there isn’t more to me apart from how i dress? and if i say i think im monferno, and relate to that and feel that, then maybe consider that you could be incorrect and that my self-assessment might be more accurate than your assessment of me? someone like sabrina could maybe be a roserade, all pretty and fierce. but not someone like me! anyways, do you still think that? that im all femme? or that i hate you, or that i’m out to get you? or that i’d cheat on you???? because all those thoughts are all evidence that just goes on to show how bad you are at perceiving and understanding me. so do you really trust everything you maybe have assumed that you think about me or my thoughts and feelings or reasoning behind my actions without confirming anything with me?? what the hell did you even tell them anyways, that made them vilify me to that degree and treat me as though im incorrigibly horrid? i didn’t murder anyone, i didn’t cheat on you, i didn’t even break any rules??? i didn’t know what was happening in my head myself and i wasn’t ready to tell you and also assumed you weren’t ready to hear any of my thoughts/perusings in that area. but what alexander and sabrina said to me? made it sound like you’re a saint and i’m uncontrollably evil and batshit crazy (and i hate using tjat word but jesus). and that literally fucked with my brain and self esteem so badly, and you already know how crap that is (it’s what caused most of this mess in the first place) and just because i made a mistake and we’re in the middle of an argument does not mean that i deserve to feel like that, or view myself like that, or to be treated like that. what did you say to make them completely ignore and forgo my own friendship with them and treat me like literal shit as they stroked their own moral egos for telling me off in your defense? and i know you let them because alexander sent me a screenshot where you literally said he could say whatever the fuck he wanted to me on your behalf. and if you have the right to literally make most everyone i know in this state hate me to the point of them seeking me out and making me feel like an irreparable disgusting monster and then actively ignoring me for a mistake that i made, accepted, and apologized for (which you don’t, by the way, but you did it anyways, so about what i said earlier, you can say whatever you want to whoever but you need to learn to fight your own fucking battles, and you need to take responsibility for the consequences of what you tell people and what they do with that information), then i at least deserve to know what the hell is happening in your brain, why you thought it was a good idea to drag this on for so long without even directly speaking to me and allow other people to speak for you, and why the hell it is that you can forgive shruti after they ignored you for literal months, or why you can hang out with amy who literally makes your stomach curdle and makes you hate yourself to the extent that you get anxious and sick, but you can’t treat me, your fucking best friend, like a FRIEND who made a MISTAKE and is OWNING UP to it and is SO OBVIOUSLY TRYING to make it right. im not forcing you to forgive me, or even asking for you to, but your policy about not talking about important stuff that you can grow from just because it’s difficult or because it hurts you is honestly? complete shit. that’s not how you talk to people or maintain relationships with them. and just as i have shit to learn from this experience and work on, that’s something that you do too.

additionally, about what i said earlier about my misplaced guilt, i’m sorry, but that’s kind of on you. i phrased it nicely earlier, but i am NOT responsible for how you feel about my feelings (that i am not in charge of/in control of) for other people. “it feels so good to see you blog about hahn and caroline in a way that you never blogged about me, it makes me SO wet!” is pretty much what you said to me on tuesday when we facetimed. i had not slept at all the night before, was cramming all night for my chem final, took my chem final, just came out of a two hour yelling session with my best friend holly (which actually allowed us to work out our issues and im grateful she spoke to me clearly and honestly like that so we could resolve the problem as effectively as possible. so. idk what i did to make you think that i was rolling my eyes or being dismissive of her and what she said to me??? but wtvr), i had a pounding migraine, and my eyes hurt like hell. but you had asked me what happened so i just called to tell you what happened, and you like ??? suddenly start with that ??? completely unrelated topic that i am not even responsible for??? you didn’t even address the actual problem, the actual reason you actually had a right to be mad at me about!!! look, i am not yours. i like you a lot and wanted to give us a shot to see if we could work out, and i cared about you enough to try before dismissing the possibility. maybe that was wrong but i was trying my best and have learned and grown from that. i was not trying to hurt you, and i learned my lesson that it can still hurt anyways, and we already talked about that stuff and resolved it as best as we could. and i know you’re not mad about that, you get it. it might hurt, but we talked about it so you’re not mad. but what you said to me on facetime on may 9th? is NOT my responsibility. i can’t MAKE myself be obsessed with you, not that i’m even sure why you’d want me to be in the first place. i have told you repeatedly that being like that makes me feel disgusting, and is terrible for my mental health, and regardless of whether who the object of that angst is, it feels fucking terrible for me to experience and i hate it and i hate thinking like that and being like that. and you know that. and the reason i blog about it at all is because i want to flush it down the toilet, get it out of my head and out of my life, so i can breathe again before i get consumed by some trash useless feelings, but i want to be able to see what i said and thought later when i’m better, to remember that it did in fact happen because of my memory issues. and yet you were upset about me not angst blogging about you??? because you never treated me like the people i DID angst about did??? are you seriously upset that you’re so nice to me that i unconditionally love you??? and back when i did angst abt you and you saw my sideblog back in september or october you got pissed and rightly so, and i apologized then and i explained to you then too that those are my toilet thoughts?? and then i made my vent insta for being similarly salty and flushing away similar crapola thoughts like ??? like for example, im not still upset with autumn for protecting hahn back when i was mad at him. i was irritated then but i dont give a fuck now. same with the things i vagued about you - i was mad and pent up then but i dont think any of those things consistently and im obviously not mad at you now. that doesn’t excuse saying them, or make it okay, but it helps explain where i was coming from in my irritation. people say bad shit they don’t mean in a fight. that’s not an excuse, that’s a fact. people also apologize for saying shit they don’t mean in a fight. that’s what i’ve been trying to do for two months now. im guessing the blogging thing you said might have been something you don’t mean that you only said bc you were pissed, but i don’t know because you HAVENT SPOKEN TO ME. im currently still frustrated with this situation regardless of you saying to clear it from the top of my mind, and im upset and annoyed that what sabrina and alexander said to me made me feel like the worst person alive, which i know i am not by any means. bc i’ve deleted those things i said and also apologized to you for them. so like what else can i do? im not justifying my insta posts or defending them, i know and admit that they were unnecessarily mean, and a paragon example of the word Extra but im just asking you to be a little introspective. since we didn’t talk properly or clearly after that, and we were both highly emotional and upset, anything that we may have spoken about tuesday night (may 9th) does not count as us talking about this issue in a beneficial manner. and we haven’t spoken properly since, which i do Not Like. how do even know what you’re supposed to be mad at someone about if you haven’t even talked to them?

and speaking of angst, just so you know, you were so fucking wrong about Hahn this entire time. all your weird suspicions that you kept projecting onto me about me being angry because i still liked him were all fucking wrong. i emailed him on may 4th because i felt like complete shit, like i was powerless, and it was the only thing i felt like i had the power to change in that moment. it was me doing something to try to drag myself out of my own mental hellhole. and at that time he and i talked, but i did not forgive him. but then three weeks later, in the middle of this shitstorm between you and me going down, he called, crying, saying that he wasn’t ready to be friends again, and that he may never be, and that he’s sorry but he’s not at that stage. and i said thanks for respecting me and telling me that, i wish you the best, goodbye. and that ended that. so im not talking to him currently and im fine, because all i ever wanted was just to be treated like a human. and i haven’t thought about that boy angstily since and when he does come to mind? i feel nothing. just calm and normal and pleasant. so you were wrong to make me feel paranoid and guilty and gross in my own skin because YOU thought i still liked him, and also it wasn’t cool that you somehow conveyed to alexander that ME trying to DO SOMETHING for my crap mental health made you sad because i was “shoving it in your face” ??? that im somehow responsible for how you’d feel upset ??? about me FINALLY getting some semblance of peace and getting over a mental block i’ve been tormented by for MONTHS???? one that you knew all the gory little details of and still insisted that i reevaluate because you thought i liked him??? bc im sorry that it made you feel bad, but you insisted on me telling you everything always, so i did, honestly, but ultimately your suspicion that i still liked him hurt both yourself and hurt me. and my entire attitude when i told you and alexander about talking to hahn on the phone was empowered and salty and savage and relieved, not goo-goo-eyed in love or any crap like that. so there. that’s some shutting down of some of your unkind thoughts that i know are often intrusive or mean to you, and im willing to do it as many times as it takes for you to believe me. and i know that your insecurities and intrusive thoughts are not your fault, but you need to be aware of when those intrusive thoughts affect your relationships with other people, and so do i. i let my intrusive and frustrated thoughts hurt you because i was mad, sick, and sleep deprived, and that was fucking wrong and messed up. i should have shut up then and then asked you to explain to me what you felt when we both were calm and ready to talk about things. and im sorry for it, and have been ready and willing to make up for it for a long fucking time. but this is a rule that applies to everyone, and letting our intrusive thoughts hurt each other is something that we both do, and that we both need to work on in general for ourselves and the people we love.

so all in all, please stop holding your moral high ground over me until you’re ready to do it properly, so either disappear for a while like you did before and take your time to deal with it on your own and be mad or whatever, or speak up now. because i can’t stand another second of this stupid weird fake melodramatic dancing around, where you peek your head out the bushes for a moment before vanishing again. i thought we were good enough friends to grace each other with the honest opportunity to talk it out, including BOTH PARTIES communicating, even if you ultimately decided you needed space or didnt wanna be friends or whatever, since we’ve both done shit to each other in the past and gotten over it. but i guess i’m not a friend, anymore ??? in your eyes?? all because i made one mistake that i am apologetic and regretful towards. oh, and before you go to sabrina and alexander and shriya (who literally just dumped a boy and got with a new one within like two days??? and yet IM judged and “insensitive” for catching feelings after a month since we broke up?? ok 😒) and the rest, if you’re offended, maybe try considering that if someone you supposedly care about makes you upset, the normal thing to do is to talk to them rationally about it and explain to them clearly why what they did made you upset, and what you expect from them moving forwards. when you’re mad at people you love, and you’re fighting with them, most people like to try to resolve it as soon as theyre ready and as soon as possible, not drag it out for months, include everyone they know, and allow their friends to say whatever they want to them. not ignore them for months, let other people say random shit to them to stroke their own egos, and assume that everyone can read your brain and knows exactly how you feel. to axie at one point you said “they know what they done” but obviously i am still unclear about it if you don’t tell me with your own words why exactly you’re pissed??? so do with that what you will, because if you think that this mistake defines our 6 year long friendship where we’ve frankly overcome much worse shit than this, if you’re really that shortsighted and salty and naive (which I like to think you’re not) and if you think that i don’t have other shit going on in my life apart from you to deal with and spend my time on, and that i’m not strong enough to move on, then that’s your problem. talk to me when you’re ready to be real about things. it won’t kill you to be emotionally vulnerable with your supposed best friend for 10 seconds. im sorry about creating this mess. let’s try to work on fixing it. and if you’re not ready to talk about this? then let’s continue this radio silence thing. and let’s talk only when you’re ready to address this and move forward from it.

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