#and funny that me getting back into the glee fandom means getting back into bitching about this stupid ugly awful ship alsfjsdlkf

[angelhummel]

I’ve always thought it was weird how in fanon brittana are portrayed as not being able to keep their hands off each other and being explicit in front of everyone. Like Santana literally had trouble holding Brittany’s hand without a napkin or giving her more than a peck in the hallway? And you expect me to believe they’re making out at any spare moment company be damned?? I think maybe people saw the show do its weird fetishy camera angles and make them mention scissoring at any opportunity and jumped to some weird conclusions. As fanon tends to do I suppose.

Ooh a Brittana ask... I don't know if I have a lot to say about them tbh anon...

Lmao well obviously first of all I try to avoid any extraneous Brittana content outside of what I'm forced to witness while watching the show so I can't really speak on what the fandom is doing to them but that's not surprising

Also in all fairness in s1 Brittana are always totally touchy feely like holding hands, resting their heads on each other's shoulders, touching each other's arms and legs lmao. And I doubt they were being directed that way so like I guess Heather and Naya were just vibing? Good for them. Brittana's best season truly was season one, when they barely spoke and had zero plotlines. And Brittany still managed to out Santana in a crowded school hallway two seasons before Finn did. What a trailblazer. Couple goals 5eva!!

Also now that I think about it. And I may be wrong but. The only like fetishy male gaze-y camera angle I can think of is just when we first see them together and the camera slowly pans up their legs to them "kissing" (Santana's face in Brittany's neck while they make vague kissing movements ??) And even that can kind of be justified bc like it was a slow pan around Brittany's room in general, and seeing her making out with Santana was kind of treated as A Reveal you know?? So like yeah it is kind of oggly but also it kind of makes sense in context?? Idk, your mileage may vary, ig

(Like the show had a problem with sexualizing their teenage characters in general, which is a whole other discussion. So idk I wouldn't say the problem is exclusive to Brittana?)

But the scissoring comments. Oh god, the scissoring comments. First of all like. Maybe it's just that I think I'm somewhere on the ace spectrum aklsjfsl but just hearing two hot girls talk about scissoring is not hot to meee. Like. It was a fucking joke. It was written as a literal Joke. It does nothing for me bc I cannot take it seriously in the context of their stupid relationship

And sorry not sorry but like. Brittana have no fucking chemistry alksfjdsklf. And I think that's mostly due to Heather's acting. Like Naya had amazing chemistry with literally anyone she was in a scene with but with Heather. Like you could replace her with a literally dummy with a pull string that plays one of six Hilarious Deadpan One Liners and the scene would be the same. She really feels like furniture half the time alsfjskdgjdsl I'm probably going too hard but I'm being honest

I don't believe Brittana as a real relationship. Like there is literally no reason for these two characters to be together. Brittany says Santana is nice, ignoring Santana's constant barrage of racist, homophobic, antisemitic, fatphobic, transphobic comments towards her classmates. Bc Santana is nice to her.

Except no, she's not. She thinks Brittany is too stupid to cross the street on her own, loves that she's easy to manipulate, and even implied she was stupid to her face with comments like "breakfast is confusing for you" and then straight up reacting to her dumb statements like she's an idiot. To her face.

And Santana claims she thinks Brittany is so nice and smart when again, she knows she's not. And when Brittany is just as rotten and offensive as Santana is to their supposed best friends. They're two vile horrible people who bring out the worst in each other. When they're apart, Santana grows a personality and gets better, and Brittany may as well not exist. I love when they're apart <3

Anyway my main point was they have no chemistry, I just felt like going off on a tangent uwu

ALSO to tie into the scissoring paragraph lol. There was one old Glee Confession I saw once like. "How can people say Brittana have no chemistry?? Brittany literally popped a hip having sex once!" And that's a part of my absolute favorite story telling device that no writers can seem to follow...

Show, don't tell

You are telling me Brittana scissor all the time and Brittany popped a hip during sex. Ok. I'm hearing that with my ears. But what I'm seeing on the screen with my eyes is not lining up with that. Like Brittana can talk til they're blue in the face about all the wild and crazy sex they have but if watching them on screen looks like two store mannequins sitting next to each other like... what do I care what they say?? Television is a visual medium lmao you gotta show me some images on screen that match up with the words you have written. Brittana doesn't do that

And the times when they do kiss in the show. Are so funny. Like 90% of them are those ^3^ kissy faces where it looks like the goal is to be as far away from your partner as possible while still just barely grazing each other's lips. At school I would understand but they do it at Santana's house, too. imo the only good Brittana kiss is the one from Heart. Even the churro kiss that Brittana stans thinks is sooo steamy and hot. I was watching that ep w my sister once and when that happened she was like "ew that was awkward" aksfjsdlf like yeah I have to agree luv. Even the kiss on their wedding day is sooo awkward like the way Brittany grabs Santana's face with just the heels of her hand??? Makes it look like her fingers were sticky and she didn't wanna get them on Santana. Like that's not passionate or loving that's literally 4th grade school play kissing where you hide your faces so the audience cant tell your lips arent actually touching lmao

Anyway I haven't complained about Brittana in a while so this was fun <3 Thank you for that, anon

[bunnys-kisses]

coffee and a lemon slice with lance stroll? rivals to lovers but really everyone can tell he’s in love with her

bakery menu

want to suggest your own order? hit up the menu for all the desserts & other treats. i'm open to different fandoms too if that tickles your fancy! we have a great staff of servers who'll get your orders to you asap!

lemon slice ("i'm sorry, what was that? i can’t hear you over all that noise you’re making.") + coffee (rivals au) served by lance stroll (formula one)!!

cw: smut/pwp, rivals-to-lovers, snark & bickering, fluff, counter sex, semi-clothed sex, semi-public sex

you didn't mean to laugh in the face of that reporter. but if they were going to ask such a stupid question then you were going to laugh! to be a woman in the big leagues of formula one meant sometimes being a bitch.

like when you laughed in the face of sky news.

"i'm sorry!" you said, "that was terrible of me. but no, i'm not in some secret relationship with lance stroll! i really appreciate that people stop asking who i am dating, i promise you it's not some loser on the grid. they'd eat my rubber before they kissed me." you laughed once more.

you got a stern talking to the week after in belgium, which had you teammate, max, almost laughing into his fist. as if his head wasn't on the chopping block.

you shoved the current champion, "don't laugh dickhead, it's not that funny."

"they're suggesting media training for you." he laughed as you two walked down the hallway, which made you shove him again.

you glared at max, "well, at least i don't have a bed time, verstappen. what are you, ten?" you waved your arms at him in frustration. which only made him laugh more.

you passed by various people while walking to lunch. but without looking you knew exactly when lance was walking by. it made you staggered in your step a little, but you refused to look at him. you kept your head held high.

max pretended that he didn't notice. but internally smirked, for the one swore off drivers. you did have a massive crush on lance stroll. but, there was no need to fret. lance was obviously into you as well, as apparent by his gaze lingering on you long after you walked by.

the dutch driver slapped you on the back, "well, i guess we're both fucked then." then flashed you a smile. both in regards to how you act in front of media and how your obvious feelings for lance.

it was after belgium that you were face to face with lance. it was a party after the event and you were nursing a beer. your loss was pretty brutal, you were fighting in the back of the grid with the likes of stroll. something you weren't comfortable with.

but he soon joined you in your misery. you froze for a moment before he nudged you in the arm and held out his own drink. you clinked glasses together as he said, "to losers."

you smiled back at him, "to losers." you hated to admit it, but you kind of understood lance. his passion for the sport but also being the face of your country. you on top of it had to live in max's shadow, not that he took glee in it.

"you never look me in the eyes." he said after a sip of his beverage, "you'll always look at everyone else in the eyes. but not me. maybe it's because i'm buzzed as all hell, but.. do you hate me?"

you swallowed, "we're rivals, lance. remember in my first season you said the driver you wanted to go toe to toe with was me? you stated your intentions about me."

he scratched the back of his neck, "well, yeah... why wouldn't i? you usually out position me. you're a killer on the track, of course i'd want to go wheel to wheel. going against you is challenge in itself... driving against you makes the sport fun." he gave a small smile.

you raised your eyebrows at him, "what?"

he nodded, "yeah, it was the media who made us rivals in every headline... i just wanted to be good... like you." he swallowed, his cheeks growing flushed, "nevermind."

you felt your face heat up as well, "i mean, i fucked up this race. so, you could easily catch up." you took another swig of your beer, the acidity of it didn't sit well in your stomach.

"doesn't mean anything. i've seen how you are. you're the best."

"are you hitting on me?" you asked, not too sure where this stream of consciousness series of compliments were going.

there was a beat of silence before he said, "yeah... i found out that apparently everyone knows i have feelings for you.. so i wanted to tell you before you found it out from someone else." he waved his hand a little, "i like you... and i know you don't date drivers. so i get it. i just didn't want to lie to you anymore.

you looked at him in shock, "for real?"

he nodded, "yes, on my life. i am certain." the collar of his button up felt stiffer and sweatier. he ran his hand through his hair, "nevermind, just forget about it. if you hear anything from anyone else, they're lying."

maybe it was the rush of the day's race, maybe it was the sweaty beer, maybe it was the alignment of the stars or the placement of the moon. maybe venus was in retrograde and mars was half price. but you grabbed him by the front of the button up and pressed your lips against him.

you noticed the taste of burt bee's chapstick and melted into the kiss. he put his drink down beside him and took you in his arms. when you parted the kiss, you pressed your forehead against yours and held his face.

"the no driver's rule-"

you sighed, "some rules are meant to be broken, i guess. i just told them that so they'd stop asking. i do hate that they were right. stupid press."

he dared himself to kiss you once more, this time a little softer as your hands curled deeper into his shirt. the kisses continued until you broke and ended up sneaking across the event towards the single-stall bathroom.

you two kissed once more, once you locked the door. he pressed you up against the counter before he picked you up and placed you on top of it. his hands were on your breasts, feeling the flesh through the blouse you wore.

you were beautiful, so painfully beautiful that you felt a surge of pleasure in your gut. when he pulled away, you held his face. you stared into those beautiful brown eyes, "i think we suck at beings rivals." you panted, "i think we should be lovers."

he captured your lips once more, "that sounds like a plan to me." he chuckled, "means i'll finally beat you on the grid."

you pulled him closer, your forehead against his. before you pulled him into a searing kiss, "good luck, stroll." then pulled away to get your pants around your ankle. your blouse was on your shoulders and soon your panties were around your ankle as well.

he admired the sight of you, his cock now in his hand. the washroom was a little cramped but still the space between you two felt too big. you kissed him on the lips as he pressed his cock against your slick pussy.

"i like it when you beat me." he admitted.

"oh yeah, why?"

"because it drives me to be better. one day i'll beat you though." he chuckled, "be the best driver there is." he slowly sank his cock into your cunt. he swore under his breath as he rocked against you. he started to really thrust his hips against you.

you took him to the root and felt the curl in your gut. years of tension finally came to a head and now were in such an intimate position. you said to him, "you could never beat me, lance."

he gripped your shoulders as he moved against you. he said, "one day. one day you'll see me on the podium." he chuckled, "i'll win for us, don't worry." his cock stretched you in a way that you felt the blood rush in your ears.

the entire thing felt painfully erotic.

"well, aren't you a sweetheart." you held onto him tightly and continued to make out with him. he rutted against you, you held onto him and panted heavily through your nose. when he pulled away, you braced yourself with your arms on the counter to give lance the ability to have a better angle.

"i'll be good to you, don't worry. i'll win for you" he panted, his hands on your hips and his eyes on your breasts. he could feel the heat in your body and how the cat got your tongue as he nudged against the back of your pussy, "i'm sorry, what was that? i can’t hear you over all that noise you’re making."

you moaned a little louder before you forced yourself to keep it down. you said to him, "i said, good because maybe you'll actually win." you clung to him as he moved against you.

you felt the heat on your exposed back, the feeling of him so close to you was nice. you kissed him on the lips once more as he fucked you. you clawed at his clothed back as he fucked you.

you both felt the heat all over, the thrump of your chest as he buried his cock into you. it was so painfully hot, it left you feeling flushed. the feeling was painfully erotic. you felt a hot passion with lance as you kissed him once more.

you both panted through your noses as you thrusted up against one another. the pleasure was undeniable. you hoped that no one could hear you, but it was too late now. your body yearned for him.

there a bit of praise off of lance's lips when he said, "you're beautiful."

it was no surprise that you both came at the same time and kissed one another to keep quiet. your lips felt desperate against him. the kiss was

he pulled out and got his cock back in his slacks. you panted as you reached over to get your blouse off the counter. the heat was still in your cheeks as you put it back on.

his voice cut through the silence, "do you want to come to my hotel tonight? i'd love to have you on the bed rather than on a counter." he chuckled as he pushed his hair back out of his eyes.

you licked your lips, "i'd love to, stroll. now why don't you lead the way." then winked at him. your no-driver rule was broken, but what you got out of it was the love of your life. <3

[spaceorphan18]

I think I'm losing my mind. I was on reddit and I uninstall that yesterday cause of glee subreddit(if you don't know what is glee subreddit, there is a social media app called reddit where people of common interest or region can get together and discuss on topics posted) . So the glee reddit is kinda annoying. As far as what I've observed , that reddit has more of brittana fans and they kept bashing klaine.

The funny thing is that they hate klaine for the same reason they love brittana. Well hate and love is one's feeling. But I don't know if this particular incident triggered me. Someone was as usual bashing on klaine in a klaine Christmas celebration post. Not a hate post. So I got into a heated argument. Then there was a DM that a person accused me of lifting lines from other peoples fic to mine. And they blocked.

The thing is this fandom is not so young. Meaning you would have fics on almost all genres with similar kinda writing. I am just pissed that person accused me without any proof. Not just that.

There is this another person, who is on tumblr too. They say that they love Kurt but they said what Kurt did to get back to klaine relationship was cringey. I asked what made him cringey cause he didn't do much to get into relationship. It was all sue. And they just typed "stfu" get as spontaneously as they can.

Now what broke the camels back was I put a misinterpreted statement on another post. And I didn't know one of Rachel's dad in s3 was black but not as black as what they showed in the s1. Someone explained that the actor Brian stokes was mixed ,has black ethnicity and had lighter colour than the dude shown in s1. I agreed and I said that was my point and oh my god,the downvotes.

I just said call me racist if you want,I don't care and there is this person who called me stfu came up,called me annoying and I need help. I just cited that they have less temper and I don't need a psychology lesson from them and the person just bitched and said to seek professional help.

I don't know why I am ranting to you. I'm so sorry. I just want someone to talk me through this. This keeps pissing me off.

Hey dear! No, it's fine - sometimes it's just easier to write it all out and just let yourself feel all the things. And it's totally fine.

I'm sorry for all the crap you've been going through! It's rough when fandom does not feel like the fun place you want it to be.

I am aware of reddit and have never really been a fan. I've heard the Glee fandom on there is pretty terrible in general, so I've always avoided it. It's hard, sometimes, when there doesn't feel like a lot of places to go -- especially when the fandom has very much faded and dwindled. But my best advice is to always step away from the places that make you angry.

(It can be hard, I know! When I first joined tumblr, I think I followed people I didn't really like mostly because I felt like I /needed/ to hear their wrong take. It took me a while to figure out that it was better mentally to not engage at all.)

There are also a lot of people who would rather revel in their hate of a thing than rejoice in their enjoyment. There have been psychological studies about how anger brings people together more than love. (Interestingly, I remember a long time ago there used to be a forum for Chris fans and the biggest, most trafficked thread was about hating Darren.)

I think the other unfortunate thing so often in fandoms is that people only really want to hear what they want to hear and be validated that their opinion is the /right/ one instead of listening to what other people have to say and respecting that some people don't respond to the same things you do. It's unfortunate that things become black and white and lines need to be drawn, but alas, the internet (and humans) have always been tribal like this.

Meanwhile, the best thing I can say is just enjoy the thing you like. These people are just going to be assholes whether you engage with them or not, so why give them a platform? Your mental health is worth more than their time - so give yourself a break.

You're welcome to come chat with me any time. :)

<3

[hogwartsfirebolt]

Hello everyone! I’m back for my (omg time flies) third yearly drarry rec list, in which I share with you my 30 favorite drarry fics I read in the year, divided in three parts. What a year 2020 was. It was challenging, scary and confusing, and it was also an amazing reading year for me, I read so, so much more than I ever had before, and I’m really excited to share these masterpieces with you! The banner art is by @dragontamerdame who is one of my favorite artists and was kind enough to let me use this beautiful piece, which you can (and totally should) reblog right here. Now, with nothing else to add and in no particular order, here’s my

FAVORITE FICS I READ IN 2020 PART ONE

1. Who we are in the shadows - @quicksilvermaid - 100k - E - What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry's justice is his ticket back to everything he's lost. But nothing is exactly as it seems. Not even Harry himself. And as he gets drawn further and further into Malfoy's world of honour and deception he finds himself questioning everything he thought he knew—about his childhood nemesis, the Ministry job he misses so much, and most of all, about himself. What happens when you’re forced to see that you were wrong?

THIS FIC!!! It was the first one I read in 2020, and it immediately became my favorite fic of the entire year, and one of my favorites of all time. I have since read it two more times, the entire 100k of it. There are absolutely no words to describe how amazing it is, how much it floored me to read their characterizations, their jobs and the roads life took them on to end up where they end up, the connection between them in a time when they don’t even know how to relate to anyone, their sorrow and struggles which, despite being so rooted in the magical world, are painfully human, just... wow. It’s a masterpiece. It changed the way I view their characters, forever, and I suspect I will read it many, many more times in the years to come. It’s that kind of story. If for whatever reason you haven’t read it, this is your sign to take that chance and embark on this amazing journey. 

2. Every Kingdom - @thistle-verse - 7k - E - Every kingdom needs a prince. Every prince needs a good and useful knight. Draco and Harry play their parts and renegotiate some borders while they’re at it.

So, so lovely. Even though I don’t read them very often, alternate universes fascinate me so much, and I am in awe of the author for being able to pack so, so much story, so neatly into 7k words. This features a princely, lonesome Draco, a charming, golden Harry, and a blossoming love that could change everything. It’s beautiful, and I recommend it deeply.

3. The Bucket List - GallaPlacidia - 32k - Draco will die in six months if he can't get Harry Potter to fall in love with him. Since that's not going to happen, he might as well spend his last days working through his Bucket List. Tap-dancing lessons? Rock climbing? Poetry-writing? Threesomes? Cocaine? Getting to know his adorable cousin, Teddy Lupin? Draco will try them all! Feat. Cheerily pessimistic Draco, devoted bitch queen Pansy Parkinson, and a Harry who can't help but notice that something seems DIFFERENT about Draco, these days.

I’m positive that many, many of us got acquainted with GallaPlacidia’s writing this year, and I, too, fell in love with it. This story aches in the most beautiful of ways, the humor happens to be somehow light in such a difficult circumstance that it ends up hurting when you laugh, it hurts when everything is right because it’s also wrong, it aches when it’s supposed to be a happy moment and feels tender and sweet when it’s not. I can’t even imagine the challenge of writing this kind of story, and they pulled it off beautifully. It’s a lovely story, one you will take with you long after you finish it, and, personally, I think it’s a great introduction to the author’s writing. 

4. halcyon days - @the-starryknight - 1.3k - T - Sleepy mornings caught while the sun rises are reserved for silly word games and soft touches and feelings.

Oh my god, the amount of tenderness in such a low wordcount made me weak in the knees. I almost couldn’t take it. Being able to convey such a deep emotional connection in a short story seems like such a daunting task, and the author makes it seem almost effortless. I guarantee that this will make you bring your hands to your chest and sigh with how lovely it is. Reading it will be the best ten minutes of your day. 

5. Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon - @drarrytrash - 37k - E - According to Harry’s personal narrative regarding the incident, he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy for purely self-destructive reasons, or out of convenience, or by some unlucky accident. Looking at him, sprawled in the moonlight, Harry is devastated to recall that he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy because he’s hot. Draco is a secret werewolf and Harry is doing his best and they've got criminals to catch, darn it.

Reading this, I found myself laughing out loud, nodding profusely with how freaking spot on the characterizations are. The dialogue is amazing, so hilarious and real and Harry’s inner monologue is so, so him. I love everything about this story. I have a soft spot for werewolf fic, and this one hit everything I love about it, the case is interesting and engaging, the incidental characters, the OCs, Ron and Hermione, everyone and everything is absolutely perfect and I had an absolute blast reading it. You HAVE to read this and see for yourself what I’m talking about. 

6. Sex Ed for Aurors - curiouslyfic - 8k - M - Some things, you need to learn on the job.

Oh my god this is so freaking good. The premise is, basically, that Harry is accidentally doused with a lust potion while in the vicinity of Draco, and suddenly wants him more than anything. I loved this take on that trope, we’re in Harry’s head, and it’s absolutely hilarious and endearing to experience the near childish glee he feels whenever Draco looks his way, when he smiles, when he feels he’s made him happy, meanwhile Draco and Ron are horrified and doing whatever they can to correct it. This is so funny and such a good time, I can’t recommend it enough! While you’re at it, you should definitely read megyal’s remix of this, which is also a blast. 

7. plasticine porters with looking-glass ties - @bonesliketambourines - 15K - E - Lately, Harry thinks things don’t seem the same between him and Draco. His head is in the clouds when he thinks about what their relationship is now, and where it might be headed—he’s happy with their friendship, but he wants something else. A potions accident over a lunchtime visit to Draco’s lab (what does he get up to in there, anyway?) changes things, though, and accelerates their relationship faster than either of them had ever expected. How are they going to get through this new development together?

Atmospheric, beautifully-written and delicious. Their relationship is tender, just on the edge of something more, when they’re forced to quarantine together and face the effects of a potion that makes them see and feel things differently, which makes for the most intense, visual, gorgeous sex scene I think I’ve ever read. It’s just absolutely phenomenal. 

8. i wake up falling - warmfoothills - 9k - M - Draco’s always leaving, one way or another. Harry’s usually 240 thousand miles too late.

In trying to come up with a way to summarize this story, I’m feeling the overwhelming urge to cry again, just like I did when I read it. It’s just so, so, beautiful, every single word of it aches in the best way, the longing feels deeply authentic and just, the setting and the jobs and everything is so unique and gorgeous. Every single work by this author is beyond beautiful, but especially this one is incredibly close to my heart and I think everyone should read it. It’s a gem. 

9. In Every Universe - @skeptiquewrites - 27k - M - They sent Professor Harry Potter to search for Unspeakable Draco Malfoy. Draco has stolen a Firebird, an experimental magical device from the Department of Mysteries that lets you enter parallel universes as yourself. As Harry traverses from universe to universe, he begins to think Draco might be the one searching for him. A story about whether knowing what's possible makes it possible.

Stories where the characters find themselves somehow hopping from one reality to another are always so, so fascinating to me, and this one is incredibly creative and well-written, so entertaining all around. The mystery of it kept me on my toes, and every single reality was a joy to read. 10/10

10. Life goes not backward - @shealwaysreads - 8k - T - Harry still isn’t used to gifts, but this one is different. A story of coming home, finding safe ground, and the wild courage of putting down roots. Leaving one life behind isn’t always a sacrifice, and sometimes the greatest good comes from embracing the people you love.

My god, there are not enough words to describe how much this story means to me, how beautiful it is, how every single time I’ve read it, I’ve cried. Bella has undoubtedly become one of my absolute favorite writers in fandom. She has such a way with words, there is not one of her stories that hasn’t touched me, that doesn’t feel like an actual, full-length novel no matter the word count. I read so many of them this year, so many of the masterpieces she’s gifted us, but this one especially is so tender, so dear, that I ended up choosing it as my favorite of hers this year. Harry’s charactertization, the unbelievable warmth of their relationship, absolutely everything about this is gorgeous. Go read it, right now, and then binge all her other works!! You won’t regret it.

---------------------------------

Each of these fics is incredibly close to my heart and I enjoyed them immensely. In the midst of everything changing, I really found comfort and solace in the amazing works of the people of this fandom. I hope they give you the same amount of warmth and comfort they gave me, and I’m ALWAYS here to gush about any of them ❤️ Happy New Year! 

[bebepac]

National Honor Society (Happy Birthday Brandy)

Original Post Date: 5/19/21 at 3:25PM EST

Happy Birthday @bbrandy2002​​  I hope you are having a wonderful birthday today.  I will be honest and say I had no clue it was your birthday until  late yesterday evening.  I hope you like this.  I met you when I was baby new to the fandom.  

I started reading your series My Love . To this day that is probably one of my favorite series I’ve read.  If you haven’t read it, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!

I had started reading it, then I had lost track of it.  I finally saw a reblog for it again, and so I messaged you.  You had told me then you were so grateful for my comments, as you had thought about scrapping that whole story.  I almost lost my mind, because I thought that story was amazing. And proceeded to with each chapter give an emotional play by play via your inbox while I was reading. Thank you for thinking I wasn’t insane for that. Ha ha ha ha!!!!  You are an amazing writer and friend.  I really appreciate your friendship.  

This is a complete one shot.  It technically does not fall into any series that I am currently writing right now or have written. 

The Book:  TRR

The Pairings: None

Word Count:  825

Warnings:  Profanity.  

Summary:  Liam, Drake, and Hana  have to do the National Honor Society’s daily birthday announcements.  

A/N:  This is actually something I used to have to do in high school being part of the honor society.  I ironically came up with this idea while I was watching this crazy show on netflix called Who Killed Sara.  I really hope you like this cute little dumpster fire.  If you don’t, then blame Netflix and my nerdy high school years.  Sorry wasn’t more of a Taylor.  You’ll see.  

A/N2: Update 5/21/21

Because the Birthday girl requests a followup and I have cultivated some ideas for this, I am going continue this little accidental AU I created here.  The mini series will be called School Dayz. 

It may even cross into Pop’s Place too.  I’m still figuring out some logistics in that, since I plan to still have Jaiden as an older brother to Riley and Taylor. 

Liam didn’t think of himself as a nerd.  His glasses, braces, and lack of style kind of said otherwise.  

“There’s nothing wrong with being intelligent  Liam.  The right person will find that to be your most attractive trait one day.  I promise.”  

His mother had always told him.  He never forgot her words.   His mother had always understood him.  

His dad….not at all.  After his mother passed away, Liam was left with his father and Leo.  At least Leo tried to understand him.

Liam’s older brother was a senior.  Everyone knew Leo. Liam’s freshman year of high school he was referred to as Leo’s brother.  

Leo wasn’t the brightest bulb on the tree, but he made decent grades, enough to stay on whatever sports team he tried out for.  That first season was football.  

Liam… was a klutz.  He was not sports team material.  Liam was on the debate team and in glee club.  He wasn’t in the popular crowd but had his small tribe of friends.  Hana and Drake were his best friends in the whole wide world.  

“Who did you get?”

“Nico KH.”  Hana responded, she had a light flush on her cheeks.  

“What about you?”

“Riley Brooks?  I’ve never heard of her? Him?” Liam looked at the paper confused.

“Her, she’s new.  She just moved here from New York. She’s in my AP Spanish class.”

“I got Taylor Brooks.  Guess that’s her brother? A little direction on this would be nice.”

The secretary ushered them up to the intercom.  

Hana began speaking, her voice as clear as a bell.

“The National Honor Society would like to wish the following people a happy birthday.”

She paused, for a moment to compose herself.

“Nico KH, have a happy birthday.”

“Riley Brooks, have a happy birthday.”  

“Taylor Brooks, have a happy birthday.”  

They all said in union.  “Please come to the office to pick up your present courtesy of the National Honor Society.”

Nico showed up to the office first.

Hana walked up to him with their candy bag assortment, and a card  to hand to him.  

“Have a happy birthday Nico.”

“Thanks Anna.”  Nico took the bag and the card and walked back out of the office.

“You’re welcome,”  Hana breathed softly.

“Anna?  When the hell did you change your name HANA?”  Drake burst out laughing.

“Drake Walker, language, and detention!”  

Liam laughed with Drake.

“I don’t even care. He was close.”  

“Hana close only counts with horseshoes and hand grenades.”  

Liam laughed so hard he snorted.  

“What’s so funny?”  

Liam turned around face to face with a girl  wearing glasses similar to his own.  

“Nothing, my friends are ridiculous..”

“Oh.”

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“I was called to the office. I’m Riley Brooks.”    

Liam straightened his glasses, picking up his gift and card, giving it to her.

Liam cleared his throat.  “Have a happy birthday Riley.” 

“Thanks.  You’re the first person to wish me a happy birthday by myself.  Usually….”

Another girl stormed into the office like a hurricane. “Where’s my gift at bitches?!?!?!?”

Standing next to  Riley you could see they were twins. However Riley was soft spoken and Taylor was a firecracker.  

“Who are you?”  

Drake felt a wave of boldness as he walked up to the girl.  “You must be Taylor Brooks. I personally wish you a happy birthday.”  

“Taylor Brooks?  Language, and Detention.”  

“On our birthday?!?”

Riley looked uncomfortable next to Taylor.  You could see the physically identical features of Riley and Taylor.  But that’s where the similarities ended.

Riley was clearly the soft spoken twin.  She was dressed what Liam thought was nice, in a pink button down shirt, and a not quite knee length black skirt.  Her curly hair pulled up in a ponytail.  

Her sister was dressed to easily fit into the popular crowd at school.  

But Liam focused his attention on Riley.  

“We typically get our birthdays tied together with each other.  Six minutes separates our birthday technically.”  Riley grumbled.

“Oh it makes sense.”  

“It does?”  Riley looked irritated.

“No I mean, if your birthday was on Christmas, I would get you two gifts.  Not just one. Because it would be two holidays.”  

Riley smiled.

“So my birthday is a holiday?”  she inquired.

A light pink hue crossed Liam’s face.  

“No I meant… I don’t know what I meant…”  

“Thank you….”

“Liam. My name is Liam.”  

“Thank you Liam.”

Taylor grabbed Riley’s hand.  “Let’s get back to class.”

Riley glanced back at Liam and smiled before her sister pulled her through the office door.  

“Could twins be any more different?”

“They are technically two different people.”  Liam was intrigued by Riley already.

“And I’ve got detention with the cute one this afternoon.”

Liam went by his locker after announcements to get his AP Biology book.  

He sat at the table in the front of class.  

Just as the bell rang she ran into the door. 

“You’re late.”  

“Sorry, I’m still trying to figure out my way around.”  

“Take a seat.”  

She glanced around the room seeing the only familiar face she knew, so  she walked over to him.

“Hi Liam.”

“Hi Riley.”  

[ladycatland]

Hello I'm sending this to a couple of peeps cause I need answers

I been in the fandom for a long ass time (since the first sadist animatic since I was a fan of sadist since their Batim days) so I think I good grasp on all of the folk in the smp but uh.... I kinda realised that I have no clue why c!Niki hates c! Wilbur and even more so, why does everyone thinks she's a girl boss for it??? Did I miss an entire plotline orrrr?

I... I guess she hates him for having been a horrible cunt and coward during pogtopia? And to this day? Which is kinda valid tbh but like, not healthy in her case. (I will never clarify that I'm talking about the characters btw. I will clarify if I ever talk about the Cc's. But not the other way around fuck that)

But I've also never supported the whole girlboss thing for Nikki. Her telling schlatt to starve was a girlboss moment. Her dragging wilburs name is funny af but not a girlboss moment. Also her burning the lmantree is not a girlbossmoment and is like the Symbole of her being a bitch.

This is pretty much the answer to your question already. Following this is only just me going off about nikki

So I'm... A Nikki anti I guess? Like. I just don't like her. I don't. I have a lot of sympathy and I understand what she's going through but she frustrates me like no other mainly because almost more than even techno, she gets celebrated almost exclusively for all her bad things.

Nikki is kinda a less accomplished Wilbur. She stopped believing in lmanberg cuz of massive mental health issues, destroyed something actual people that actually trusted her cared about with glee and then fucked off. Adding to that that she also pinned the blame exclusively at Tommy at first, tried to murder him, tried to pin that murder on tubbo, Tommy's BEST FRIEND and would've left tubbo to believing he accidentally MURDERED HIS BEST FRIEND. And no, failing doesn't make it any better. Her own incompetence doesn't lighten the level of fucked up.

Then to heal she went to join the syndicate, and like. Good for her. And I mean that. Looking to become better is good. It just makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Techno is a big factor of everything that went wrong in her life. A big factor of what led to her selfdestructive tendencies. To the bad bad place she is now. He encouraged wilburs downward spiral. He helped destroy lmanberg, leaving with a threat, making the new government extremely focused on powerplays and her feeling lonely. He more actively destroyed it a second time. And now she's being another one of his tongue bathers. It feels gross to watch. Tommy died? Tommy who was her friend and comrade in lmanberg, who helped her when Sapnap killed her fox, who she just realized she pinned everything bad on and tried to kill for no reason? And techno reacts incredibly heartless? Her priority lies in pointing out that techno has every reason to not be sad. To reassure that asshole that his apathy is totally valid and not something he needs to work on.

Also she just never feels bad for the whole Tommy thing? She admits that she was wrong for trying to murder him while he trusted her. But she never feels bad for trying to murder him. She never has an "oh shit, if we hadn't failed back then I would have killed an innocent friend of mine who trusted me" moment. Same with the whole pinning it on tubbo thing.

I hate it. It's so incredibly uncomfortable. As uncomfortable as just the very few of peak dream lines come to reach. But instead of it just being a single line or moment it's just. Always. casually. I don't like seeing it. It feels vile.

I hate anything she's done since season 1, I hate seeing her downfall being celebrated. I hate it. Having a once badass compassionate character become a luckily incompetent asshole who I haven't seen care about anyone else, because of trauma is a fucking tragedy and people are celebrating it. Or at least that's how it looks to me.

She's in a bad place. But the people she's seeking healing from are not good people. And I can only hope that like Tommy she realizes that if she wants to actually heal fully she can't stay with them.

This is super long already. Cat out.

[unholyplumpprincess]

The Bet

Anonymous commission !!!!!!

Summary: It should have just been a quick win bet to let you finally get your fix of Revenant again. 'Become champion' shouldn't have been too hard, considering you'd nailed him and his squad before he could get you in the past. And yet, of course, Revenant wants to always win. And he will win, especially if it means you're up on the table for him to have. Or. In which you and Revenant have a FWB situation and he's been teasing you for weeks with no relief. So you come up with a bet to mutually solve your issues, totally set on winning. How hard could it be?

Reblogs > Likes. It costs zero dollars to reblog the fics u like!

!!!Minors and ageless blogs dni or you will be blocked on sight!!!

Fandom: Apex Legends

Relationship: Revenant/Reader

Warnings: R18+/NSFT, Revenant has a dick attachment, Reader is gender neutral and has a vulva, mentions of canon typical violence, relationship is shown more as FWB than romantic.

Words: 2.9k

_____________________

As far as anyone knew? Revenant was not a person who played well with others.

That was something he liked to keep up, a good face at that. He was good at growling out hate filled things of how pathetic a person was, mowing down people with a good hearty laugh about it, and making the cameras love him more and more. The Syndicate wanted to keep their little...falter under wraps. The fans all around thought him to be a ruthless killer with nothing but sadism and glee for it in his metal little heart- or rather, lack thereof. It drove them wild with excitement.

However, you knew better. You knew him in ways people couldn’t even fathom.

~Rest under the cut~

You knew of Revenant at his most vulnerable moments. To the way he didn’t immediately resort to violence if you so much as touched his shoulder, to the way he liked being under someone, to the way he squirmed under the lightest of brushes against a sensitive wire. You knew him to be sadistic as everyone else saw him, that may have been true, but what they didn’t get to see was him at his weakest points. Where weaponry was not needed besides a sharp tongue and painful wit.

No, you knew him on his knees, optics swirling with dangerous emotions as you cupped his cheek and told him what a good boy he was. You liked it that way too, that you were the only one who could see him like that. Of course, it wasn’t a strictly one on one relationship, nor was it a relationship at that. Friends with benefits wasn’t the right word either, not with the way he snarled his possession of you- even if he knew better than to stake a claim.

You were an addiction to him. An obsession. Revenant couldn’t get enough of you, and there was power behind that statement, wasn’t there?

The problem to that statement, however, was his want to tease. He wanted you as addicted to him as he was to you. One of his activities and games he liked to pull being making you forced to think about him. And what else better to make you do it than to limit your pleasures of his form? He’d thought it to be a brilliant idea.

You’d thought it to be infuriating.  

But, in the end, it worked, so maybe he was in the right.

It starts as a little game, something you could have laughed at and brushed off. Your sponsors had wanted you paired up with someone different, your chemistry with Wattson and Octane was always something to be excited about. Revenant had been paired up with Caustic and Wraith for the next two weeks of the season. This wasn’t an issue, though you two worked well together, you often butted heads. The issue with this?

Revenant had no issues going solo. And he certainly had no issues antagonizing you throughout firefights.

Out of the corner of your eye you always seemed to see a black and orange lit figure nearby, lit much like the fresh spread of lava. The amber glowing eyes in the darkness out of the corner of your eye always made shivers run down your spine. You knew his totem only allowed him to go so far, but much like a ghost he’d appear and then disappear when you’d finally whip around to aim a gun his direction.

Wattson had taken note of your behavior and the callouts of ‘enemy’ being nearby and had paused your squad’s trek to ask if you were alright, if you needed to take a second. You felt like you looked paranoid, not to mention it was a distraction technique- the bastard.

But, hard to think you’re imagining things when not a minute later you’re lagging behind and feel a smooth metal hand trace up your side from behind, a presence lingering behind you. A snarl in your ear and the growl of a voice box, “I could have my way with you right here-”

But when you whip around and press your wingman into his chest and pull the trigger, only a dark laugh follows as he zips back to his totem.

Fucker.

The sudden gunshot gets your teammates attention in question, Octane throwing up his hands in a ‘what the fuck’ gesture to you to which you reply with a half shrug as you speak into the comm, “Shot a cargo bot, missed.”

Even with goggles and a mask he doesn’t look convinced.

--

It happens again and again and again. Revenant likes his games, especially likes it when you’re waiting for him at any turn with your gun ready and your haunches pulled up like a flighty cat. He waits, and waits, and waits until you’re alone or lagging behind before he seems to find you. It’s little things, just a touch, a whisper, almost like a ghost is haunting you and driving you up a wall.

A hand brushes your side promisingly, another squeezes your hip or ass, a gruff voice growling in your ear- nothing above a whisper to never let the comms hear, “What a delicious example you would make if I fucked you open in front of all these cameras.” Wattson caught him that time, having only seen him sneak up behind you before she fired her sentinel perfectly into him and over your shoulder.

Another day, another haunting touch up to your chest, a skim of metal digits up the front of your throat, “A pathetic little toy you’d make for my squad, don’t you agree?” Before you’d managed to whip around and shoot a bullet right between his eyes. Your aim was getting better, but it’s only met with a delighted snarl as his ghost zipped back to his totem.

Every day, for the next week, he avoids you. Well, almost avoids. Revenant catches you in the hall sometimes, but before you can grab him and demand something, he skims right past you with a brush and a grunt of amusement. He’s playing you- playing you like a damned mouse to his cat. His plan is working, you’re fired up, near desperate to have him do the things he promises. But, there was just one, teensy little thing.

In your relationship? Whatever it was? You didn’t give up control. You were comfortable in it, liking to make him your bitch essentially. You liked him on his knees, liked him sounding desperate, hell you’d like him saying ‘please’ if he wasn’t so stubborn.

And he was very, very stubborn about politeness like: ‘Thank you’s and ‘please’s.

So, for him to come at you saying things like that? That was...new. You figured he was taunting you, maybe trying to spur you on, so you try to call him out on his bluff the next time you see him.

And the next time you see him? You don’t let him walk past you.

You push him to a nearby wall, pent up on no sexual relief but even more pent up in irritation. Revenant’s face doesn’t move, no muscles to really pull anything, but he does look at you with a look that must be curiosity- or hunger.

“You think you’re so funny,” You start with a growl to your own tone. It would never be as impressive as his own, but it gets his attention well enough. The way he tilts his head only serves to make your eyes narrow, mocking the same movement with your own head. Your eyes flicker across his face, licking your lips and gnawing your bottom lip briefly. “Fine. You want to be a tease? Play ghost? I’ll play games too.”

You hear him grunt in amusement, his optics hypnotically seeming to spin with deeper shades of oranges. You wait for him to gain interest before you continue, your hand stays twisted in his scarf, keeping him to the wall. It’d been weeks since you’d last fucked, you almost demand it, but instead you huff in amusement back at him. “A bet.”

The word makes him perk like a cat, his metal skeletal fingers wrapping around your wrist idly as you wait for him. Your eyes flicker between his optics as Revenant makes a soft noise in his chest, something that would sound like a rumbling purr on a big cat in contentment. “And what...sort of bet did you have in mind?” He almost sounds like a cartoon super villain the way he purrs it out, his thumb idly stroking along your pulse point. A quiet threat.

“The next person to be the champion is the winner. If you win, you can top next time, do whatever you want to me,” You start slowly, you’d had time to think of giving up control, but even you weren’t so confident as it comes out of your mouth. Almost tight in your throat. But the way he snarls in his chest tells you that that interested him enough.  

“And if I win- and I will win,” You begin again, tugging on his scarf to get his attention again. “You let me do whatever I want to you. Please and thank you’s included. You’ll be a good boy and do whatever I say. Do we have a deal?”

With too good of a bet on the table, of course he agrees. But, you know he’ll eat those words. He’ll be under your heel soon enough and give you that ‘please’ you’ve always dreamed of hearing. You’ve kicked his ass every round thus far with a bullet to the chest and the head.  

This would be a piece of cake.

--

It was not a piece of cake.

It seemed the bet WAS really too good because his kill count racks up higher than you’ve ever seen it get. You don’t even place top three with your own squad, maybe fifth in line and watching with a growing, gnawing feeling in your stomach as he climbed the ranks. Each shot perfect, his want for blood seeming to mellow out with his need to win.

Revenant becomes the champion that round, and you hear very quickly from mutters of other legends that he’s refused to do interviews and let his squad handle that part.

It’s not a surprise to you when a hand snatches you and yanks you into the hall as you quickly speed walk to your bedroom. You yelp, regardless, as you’re dragged to someone else’s bedroom.

Revenant’s chest almost hums with his voice box rattling his inner systems with his dark laughter. He doesn’t even make it to the bed with you, slamming you to the door, a hand around your throat and his leg thrust between yours. You make a choked sound, face flushed, and your heart absolutely pounding in your chest.

There’s only a brief moment where he leans into you, growling in your ear, “You did mean what you said, yes? I’d hate to have your screams be of pain.” It’s...almost sweet the way he’s asking for consent- even if it’s quiet. It could sound like a threat, but you understand his quick hesitation. You weren’t-- you’d never been beneath him.

Your quick nodding doesn’t shake him into believing you, he hisses under his breath for you to say it so he can hear you and you quickly chirp like an eager bird, “Yes! Yes- yes, a bet is a bet- have me. Any way you want. S-same safe word I use for you if it’s too much.”

The process from there isn’t slow. You knew Revenant wouldn’t be one to take his time if he had you in his clutches, and only proven to you when in no time you’re being stripped. It’s a bit of a blur, the first few moments. Your brain tries to wrap around it and make sense of it. Metal fingers cruelly squeezing your chest and toying with your nipples, a hand yanking your hair and forcing your head back so you couldn’t watch, the sharpness of metal teeth at your throat- the desperation of yanking your clothing off.

You’re naked before you realize it, back against a soft bed rather than a wall. He’s fit between your legs, hovering over you much like a starved spider, tracing his fingers up your inner thighs and making you quiver from the sensation.

His laugh is fitting for the situation, low and dark and sending shivers up your spine, “Always giving punishment to me,” He begins, his voice deep and resonating throughout his chest with the reverberations of his voice box. “That’s what you call it, isn’t it? And yet, who knew you were punishing yourself...” His voice trails off, his palm resting atop your mound so his thumb can trace from your hole, up through your lower lips to your clit.

The sensation is beyond anything you’ve felt. Though Revenant’s digits are metal and ribbed to allow joint control, they don’t feel sharp nor like they’ll catch. A unique texture experience. You can’t help it when your hips lift up, a sharp exhale leaving your nose as he circles your clit.

Fuck, did he find lube somewhere or were you just this wet?

“Rev-” You start shakily, feeling two of his fingers tracing down through your slick and to your hole. One presses in, almost like a ribbed toy is the way you’d describe it. Your thigh muscle twitches as you resist clamping your legs down on his arm, instead resting a hand in your own hair to ground yourself as you whine.

“If only you let me do this sooner,” He murmurs as his finger presses deep inside of you- fuck it was long- curling just right and testing the waters before fitting a second inside of you. “Could have found what a little, needy bitch you were a lot sooner.”

You would kick him if he wasn’t right. Revenant’s pumping his wrist now, fucking you thoroughly with his two fingers, rendering you ineffective. You knew he wasn’t much for foreplay, but even you’re thankful he’s prepping you. You bite back a sound when a third finger is introduced, his thumb stroking your clit in time and making your inner walls contract in time with the way you sob out a swear.

In no time, his fingers move from you, wiped on your inner thigh unceremoniously. Bastard. But, he introduces your favorite part.

His cock attachment today was something you had picked out. It matched his plating appropriately, a black coloring with deep amber nodes framing the sides and glowing much like his eyes. It was thick, maybe about as thick as your wrist and seven inches long. The ribbed sensation on it made it uniquely shaped with a rounded head leaking the light red coloring of his lubricant reserves.

You throw an arm over your eyes and turn your head as one of his hands grabs your hip tightly, the other guiding his cock inside of you. You bite your bottom lip when Revenant growls, pushing inside of you in near one go with the help of stretching you and how his lubrication helped with the slide.

Your toes curl, pressing your heels into the backs of his leg’s plating, already feeling on edge. “Rev-” You start once more, your voice shaking as you lose focus.

A yank of your arm makes you whine, trying to tug it back, but his hand snatches your jaw and forces your head towards him. “Look into my eyes when I fuck you raw. Remember who you belong to.” He snarls, your eyes fluttering open near on command and meeting deep amber optics. They swirl hypnotically, a hint he’s recording this for his own database. Bastard.

But, you can’t find it in you to care. Letting him hold your jaw to keep you there, his thumb tracing your lower lip as his hips slam into you again and again. He’s always sensitive, he won’t last very long, and you were already on edge.

His pleasure is expressed through huffs and growls, his voice box mimicking a moan only to branch off into something static-filled as if losing connection on the phone. Choppy, echoing, and yet his optics never leave your half lidded eyes. Your lips are parted to express your own pleasures, eyes fluttering and near rolling back into your head as his hips slam into yours again and again. It’d bruise you, that much you knew, but you can’t find it in you to tell him to be gentler.

“Reven- Rev—cu-cumming, don’t stopdon’tstop-” Your voice shakes, edging off into a wail as you start to cum with jerks of your hips. His groan is music to your ears, a low sound reverberating in his chest as his back hunches inwards, looking ever so much like a spider as his hand slips from your jaw to wrap around your throat. He’s cumming with you, his cock jerking and emptying at least half his reserve in you.

You’re panting, dizzy and euphoric. A soft laugh leaves you, gently nudging at his chest, “Should- should have let you top earlier, huh?” You laugh playfully, breathy and unfocused.

“Who said I was done with you, little thing?” He snarls back at you, shoving you right back down onto the bed and crossing an arm over your upper chest to keep you down.

Revenant intended to milk out his winning. All night if he needed.

He intended to make you scream loud enough for the whole compound to know appropriately what this ‘thing’ was between you two.

That you were his.

[theexecutionerssong]

How do you feel about all these spn jokes/shitposts from people who don’t watch the show or people who stopped years ago? I’m not gonna lie, i at times feel like a little sensitive bitch bc it just makes me a bit sad in a way? Cause to them it’s funny to post and reblog and tag with jokes when maybe they’ve seen a few episodes or a few seasons and then gave up. But to me it’s like well shit, trust me, i know the finale was a shitstorm and it sucked but it hurt like a bitch to see that finale especially because of how much the show/cas/dean meant to me. So my sensitive ass at times feels like I’m being mocked. Even though I’ve seen some jokes and theyre funny but in a way it’s different because it from people who watched the show the whole time and felt the same way i did when the finale aired. Idk it’s just weird, so i wanted to ask how you’re doing with everything.

I basically have a zero tolerance policy. I let it slide and just muted posts for 15x18 the first day because the euphoria was through the roof, but after that, seeing hurtful posts and memes from people who know nothing about the show, the characters, the cast, the writers, was just a big no.

I make a point to curate my dash on here with only things that interest me and that make me happy. I block people left and right when they reblog my posts and add something rude or hurtful. Make your own damn posts if you’re gonna shit on something I love, i don’t want to see it. Creators can see your tags, we go there to find joy, not to read your negativity. If I blog about something it’s because I love it, i don’t want to see anyone shitting on it or mocking it. I can’t not take it personally. You insult something i love then you insult me.

I know everyone I follow, I know why I followed them and what they blog about. If they suddenly started posting about Supernatural just to get clout or to ride the high and it’s bullshit, then I unfollow. I don’t even care if we were mutuals. Actually, it’s even worse coming from mutuals, because you would think that they at least would not find so much glee in something that they know caused me to feel so worthless after the finale - unless they have somehow not seen one single post on my blog since then but then... what are they still following me for. But apparently that decency is too much to ask. I know not everyone keeps up with their mutuals so I may be too sensitive but when it comes down to it, I draw the line.

They don’t know shit. They don’t know about the years we have spent calling out things that were problematic, like, we know okay, we know and the show still means everything to us. They don’t know who stood up for us in the writers room. They know nothing of the hope, the comfort, the constant in our lives the show gave us over the years when we had nothing else. They don’t know the cast at all because they haven’t been following them for a decade and a half. I don’t blame them but you know what I do when I see something blow up in a fandom I don’t know anything about, or that I used to follow from afar but haven’t kept up with in years? I shut up. I don’t get involved and I don’t laugh at it, especially if it’s evident people are hurting over it.

From what I saw the first couple of days after the 15x18 and since the finale, some people seem to think that it’s trendy to shit on anything relating to Supernatural. It’s top tier cringe culture come back. But they weren’t there. They didn’t try to understand. They have no ground to stand on and spread things that are just untrue (the Jensen the homophobe narrative is driving me up the walls) or misleading, or just to take the very thing that has hurt us so much and turn it into a joke and laugh in our faces. So what if Supernatural has been around forever and you somehow feel entitled to comment on it even if you haven’t watched / stopped years ago? It’s not welcomed where we can see it. It’s rude, it’s hurtful, it’s 98% of the time completely wrong. Leave us alone, we’ve been through enough.

TLDR: I don’t think you’re being too sensitive, those people are assholes and you should not have to put up with it if you don’t want to.

[chromecutie]

Not A Ghost - part 18

A/N - Multi-part fic. Colossus x OC where OC has come home after being wrongfully imprisoned in the Icebox. Warnings for whole fic - references and flashbacks to harsh prison environment, including various types of abuse. Takes place shortly after events in Deadpool 2. Whole thing will end up on my AO3 eventually.

Taglist: @emma-frxst  @ra-ra-rasputiin  @holamor ​  @empressme-bitch  @marvel-is-perfection  @hazilyimagine ​ @marvelhead17 @rovvboat @angstybadboytrash ​ @whitewitchdown ​ @master-sass-blast ​ @mori-fandom @mooleche @dandyqueen . Wanna be added or removed? Holla at me.

-------------------------------------

Piotr had made a massive platter of tacos for lunch. Piotr, Ellie, Yukio, and Rhonda sat around the table and had just started eating when Wade and Cable showed up.

Wade gasped in dramatic mock-offense, “What the fuck, Colossus? You made tacos and didn’t bother to invite me?” He pulled his phone from a pocket and after some taps and swipes, showed the table an Instagram post--Yukio’s smiling face in a low corner, holding a taco, while Ellie and Piotr were behind her, assembling more tacos. “I gotta hear about this shit from Yukio’s adorable Instagram! -- Hi, Yukio!” he waved cheerfully at her.

“Hi, Wade!” she beamed and waved back. “Happy to see you!” When she gestured toward the tacos, Wade snatched one up and started crunching away.

Piotr hesitated and almost turned them away, but he checked Rhonda’s face. She held her head tall, shoulders down in a posture that didn’t look nervous. Her eyes had the slightest squint in a reserved smile, but she didn’t look afraid like she had when she first met Cable.

Turning his attention back to his boisterous friend, Piotr said firmly, “A plate, Wade. Hello, Cable.”

Cable, quiet as ever, got plates for himself and Wade to join the table for lunch. He gave everyone his typical curt nod, but gave Rhonda an actual verbal greeting with his nod, “Rhonda.”

“Hey,” she returned politely between bites. It might be surprising for a Russian to be good at cooking Tex-Mex, but Piotr certainly made some fabulous tacos. The seasoning was flavorful and spicy, without being overbearingly hot.

“Oh, heyyy!” One of Wade’s cheeks bulged as he eyed Rhonda. “Look at you! Less Shawshank, more spank bank. I like it.”

Piotr’s eyes bulged and he nearly choked on his food. Rhonda almost spat the drink she’d just sipped. She checked her clothes, scoffing. “What about sweaty hair and old hoodie says spank bank?” 

Wade shrugged, “Ask the Venom fans, I honestly don’t know.”

As she thumbed away the little spot of sour cream on her lip, Rhonda shot Ellie a look, hoping for an explanation for what the hell he was talking about. Ellie rolled her eyes and shook her head.

This visit was going much better than the last one. Cable usually matched Ellie for hard scowls and pretending nothing has ever been fun ever, but even both of them had some laughs. The group generally caught up and shared news.

“So wait,” Wade interrupted Piotr in the middle of some updates about the school. “Who did your wife try to stab last week?”

Yukio and Ellie hesitated, Piotr tried to shut down that line of questioning, but before he could, Rhonda thumped one hand on the table. “Okay, look,” she said, defensive and irritated, “Kurt did his bamf-out-of-nowhere thing, like he always has, because he thought it would be funny to startle me, like he always has.” She huffed. “It’s just that my...startle reflex is no longer jumping or shrieking--it got re-trained so I now go straight to stabbing a motherfucker. But I did not actually hit him.”

In truth, the fact that Rhonda had almost stabbed a close friend had scared her as much as Piotr. The look on Kurt’s face when he’d bamfed away to avoid the shiv, however, was priceless. Who’s startled now, bitch?

Rhonda grumbled into her taco, “It was nice to see him get scared for once, though.”

Wade’s face was lit up with pure joy as he slapped at Cable’s shoulder, “Oh my god. We gotta take her to a haunted house in the fall!”

A worst case scenario flashed in Piotr’s brain that involved several people missing their kidneys and his wife shaking in a corner. “Absolutely not,” he said. 

“We’ll see!” Wade insisted.

Cable did his best to rein him in and shift the subject. “Rehab, though?” he asked, “The music helping you?”

Rhonda brightened. “Yeah! Well, sort of. It helps me focus.”

Yukio beamed, “Have you listened to Hozier yet?”

Ellie and Rhonda exchanged sly smiles before Rhonda answered, “Next on my list.”

Piotr beamed proudly, gesturing to his wife, “She had wonderful breakthrough yesterday! Lit a bulb so bright, it shattered.” He said more quietly, “Though, perhaps don’t hold it so close to your face next time, sladkaya.”

Steri-strips still criss-crossed her face over the nicks as she gave a halfhearted eye roll. She only kept the strips on so Piotr didn’t force something more drastic like a cone of shame.

Scooping up little taco remnants onto her fork, Rhonda admitted, “It’s not like when your abilities are new and you’re just trying to do better than running on raw emotion.” She tapped one of the steri-strips, “This caught me by surprise while I was venting about something, but otherwise...I know exactly how I used to control it, I just...it’s like I can’t reach it.” 

That just-out-of-reach feeling itself was frustrating, but what made it even worse was not knowing how to make her friends understand. Why would they, if they’d never experienced something like this themselves? She gestured, struggling for words, “Like if you...took a ton of piano lessons as a kid, didn’t keep up with it, and tried years later to play piano.”

Yukio nodded sipping her water, “You might remember a few of the easy songs, but nothing fancy?”

Rhonda nodded and shrugged, “Yeah. Yeah, I guess that’s close enough.”

“So what I’m hearing,” Piotr teased with a gentle smile, “Is that perhaps we don’t have to worry about you frying all the wiring in the house?” At his wife’s sigh and snicker, Piotr clarified for the rest, “When we were young, this one would blow the circuits in half the house every time she got nervous.”

Glancing around the kitchen, Rhonda added, “I did get pretty good at fixing the wiring.”

Lunch was wrapping up and Ellie, Yukio, and Cable moved dishes to the kitchen. Wade playfully poked Rhonda’s arm, shoulder, and face. “Well, come on, show us what you got!”

Rhonda glanced at her husband, then back to Wade, swatting his hand away, "I dunno, um...there’s really not much to see yet." She shifted in her seat, folding her arms and pulling her hoodie tighter.

"Last time we saw you,” Wade gestured wildly, “you could do the human sparkler thing." He waited, and when she was still narrowing her eyes at him, he added, “PLEASE, what the fuck, COME ON, I just wanna do the Uncle Fester thing!”

“Who?” Ellie asked in disgust. 

Rhonda leveled a disbelieving sneer on Wade. “You want me to light a bulb in your mouth?”

Cable’s face fell. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” he murmured to himself.

Pointing at the steri-strips on her face, Rhonda said, “You realize that’s dangerous, right?”

Wade just laughed. And laughed and laughed.

Rhonda turned to her husband and shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the stupidest thing I’ve done.”

--

Piotr wasn’t happy about it, but they all went into the backyard to see if Rhonda could actually light a bulb held in Wade’s mouth.

Yukio was earnestly excited. With some electrical abilities herself, she liked finding new party tricks, even if this one seemed risky for her taste. Ellie started recording a video, not because she doubted Rhonda’s control, but anything involving Wade had potential to go hilariously wrong. 

Cable and Piotr wore matching exasperated frowns, both crossing their arms as they watched their respective partners. Leaning his head just a bit toward the Russian, Cable asked, “Any advice for how to rein him in when he’s a jackass like this?”

With a halfhearted shrug, Piotr said, “With her, sometimes I just have to wait until she falls asleep.”

“And?”

Piotr blinked and shook his head, “And then she is asleep. Wade is like that too, in my experience.”

Rhonda carefully considered between two light bulbs which she would use for Wade. The lower watt one was more likely to shatter if she accidentally hit it with too much power, but the higher watt bulb might be tougher to sustain a light.

“I want the big one!” Wade pointed, eyes and smile wide with glee.

Hoping it was the right choice, Rhonda handed the smaller bulb to Yukio. Wade looked directly into the camera on Ellie’s phone and made his best Christopher Lloyd impression, “My name is Fester! It means...to rot!” He was practically bouncing with excitement as he beckoned Rhonda, “Okay, okay, put it in me!”

“Wow,” she said simply as she set the fitting in his mouth. She backed away a few feet to get clear of Ellie’s shot, and focused. 

Rhonda could feel the electricity that was in the air and pulsed through everyone’s bodies. It pulsed and flowed through her, stronger than through other people. Carefully targeting the bulb in Wade’s mouth and nothing else, she sent a pulse. At first it flickered. For about ten seconds, flicker was all it did.

“All right, Wade,” Cable grumbled, “You had your fun--”

Wade indignantly waved him off. Rhonda was about to give up when she decided to push just a little harder. To her surprise, and everyone else’s, the light suddenly grew stable and bright.

Yukio clapped, Piotr beamed with pride, but Wade made an alarmed sound and dropped the bulb into his hands. Rhonda immediately dropped the pulse and reached for him to see if he was okay.

“My mouth started buzzing!” Wade yelled. “Fuck! That was--that was like doing a BUNCH of cocaine, and then eating pop rocks! Or sucking off a Tazer.”

Rhonda took back the bulb and chided, “We said it was a dumb idea.”

Wade’s voice came out smooth and sultry, “I didn’t say I wasn’t into it.”

Unsure what to say to that, Rhonda turned to head into the house. Behind her, she could hear Ellie’s quip, “Yeah, I’ll get some good memes out of this one.” Piotr caught up to Rhonda, with Yukio and Ellie behind him and Cable and Wade bringing up the rear. 

--

A trio of teenage boys were getting snacks in the kitchen when Rhonda and the rest came back in from the yard. A particularly chunky boy narrowed his eyes at Rhonda before pleasantly smiling in recognition. “Hey! Guestbook! I didn’t know you live here!”

Rhonda’s blood went cold and she froze. Piotr stopped short to avoid bumping into her. She recognized this kid as the one who had tried to pick fights and assert dominance over the same thugs she avoided at all costs.

“Russell!” Wade yelled excitedly from behind Ellie.

Russell, for his part, wasn’t particularly good at reading people, but he knew he’d said something wrong when the strange woman’s smile turned to a murderous glare. She crossed the room, not too fast, but certainly full of intent. She stopped slightly outside of arm’s reach.

“Sladkaya?” Piotr asked behind her.

She ignored her husband and looked Russell directly in the eye. In a low growl too quiet for anyone else to hear, she said, “My name. Is Rhonda Rasputin. And you do not call me by any other name.” Her dark eyes were hard like onyx as Russell swallowed, trying to look less afraid than he was.

Before he could answer, or apologize, Rhonda spun and headed for the hall, calling over her shoulder, “Yukio, I heard you wanted to play with some hair dye? Let’s go.” 

Elated, Yukio practically skipped after her, tugging Ellie behind her.

Piotr watched his wife stalk off, deciding he would have to see Wade and Cable out as soon as he could before he could ask her what that was all about.

[raviposting]

how about two top fives? top five characters you werent supposed to like but you did and top five characters you were supposed to like but didnt

Ooh nice I really have to think about this! And I hope this is what you meant but I took this to be what the narrative wanted you to like and/or who fandom likes a lot 

Characters I Wasn’t Supposed to Like But Did: 

I remember when I started Buffy, I saw that fandom had hated Dawn and I was going in prepared to be like, oh man, I’m probably gonna hate her too I wonder why she’s so annoying what does she do? And then I watched and I just…didn’t get it? I understood why she wouldn’t be anyone’s top 5 but I absolutely adored her and she was tied for #1 favorite character for me 

Probably Cersei Lannister lmao. She was a massive bitch and I was rooting for her death the whole time, but god she was one of the most fun characters to watch and I loved to hate her so much that she’d go on screen and I’d be like “YESSSSS” 

People really hated Carl from TWD and I think that’s lessened a lot nowadays but man I always adored that kid. I know he had his annoying moments but I absolutely adored him and he’s the only reason I ever continued on with the show after Glenn died. 

I’m going to be honest. I really don’t hate Ross from Friends. Yeah he’s pretty shitty and his views are outdated af (maybe even for the 90s?) but I thought he was a funny character and honestly, I thought that with the exception of Phoebe they were all kind of shitty characters (Chandler made fun of Monica’s weight multiple times from a friend to being her husband and was with Cathy while she was with Joey, Monica assumed a maid was stealing from her, etc.). Also side note, Ted from HIMYM annoys me a lot but honestly I didn’t go through the show hating him. I went through the show with him as my least favorite each season and being far more invested in Swarkles and their story, but I ultimately did stick through the show to hear his story, and to see how he may have grown in order to find and be with Tracy - and when he met her I was happy not only because we finally saw how he met the Mother, but because he was finally with his soulmate (until the show fucked it up, of course). But anyway, idk, as much as I love Swarkles and the other characters, I don’t think I would have been able to follow the show if I hated the main character and wasn’t invested in him finding happiness

Kali from Stranger Things. Her story was underdeveloped, sure, but I’m hoping to see more of her in the coming seasons and I’m going to be real, I feel like if she was played by someone like Dacre Montgomery fans would have been raaaaving about how amazing Kali was and how they were excited to see more of Kali in the future. 

Characters I Was Supposed to Like But Didn’t: 

Michael Cordero from JTV. I actually started out liking him, just not wanting him and Jane together, because - and don’t get me wrong before I say anything; Rafael has messed up too, but the extent Michael did things was on a far greater scale to ruin a relationship forever IMO. He made a plan with Petra for her to get Jane’s baby, even when Jane wasn’t sure, he was directly responsible for Mateo getting kidnapped - which wasn’t his intention, but later when Rafael reported him, Michael knew this, went undercover, and still initiated a fight with Rafael saying that he got him fired, and did this while Rafael was right next to his infant son, who ended up getting hurt. Then he continued to just stalk Jane afterwards, and I just couldn’t understand how a character like Jane, who despite being so full of love and forgiveness still loves her son above all else, was with and married a man who tried to get him out of her life and directly hurt him. The more I watched the more I disliked him, and I hated the bad implication of fans ramping up Rafael to be evil while Michael was the “good guy” who “deserved” Jane (and there’s a bad implication there that even though both characters are white, most of fandom didn’t realize Rafael wasn’t a man of color until recently, and that Michael was literally portrayed and shown as Jane’s “white knight” in the narrative). 

Maggie from Supergirl. I tried really hard but I just couldn’t, and I’m going to be honest I think it’s most likely just because I was both really starting to dislike Supergirl and also because I was majorly annoyed at the whole Fl*riana Lima situation, and while I tried not to let it affect how I saw the character, I usually couldn’t look at Maggie after a while without feeling vaguely annoyed - so that’s honestly much less about the writing and me not being able to separate character from actor in that case to be completely completely honest

Trish from JJ. IDK if the show cares if we like her but the fandom adores her and I’m just….eh. I didn’t care about her in the first season (I disliked that she tried going with Jessica even though it was something that made Jessica vulnerable, and that fandom consistently pushed Trish up and would bash Luke) and in the second season she just got much worse to me. I’m not watching s3 unless JJ comes back on Disney plus but from what I’ve heard, I’m not going to like her there either. And I don’t think any of it is OOC from the Trish we’ve seen in the show tbh. I hated her more with each episode, but each progression seemed natural (for the show they’ve written, not what the comic counterpart is because I can’t speak to that at all) 

Dany from GOT. Unlike with Trish, even though I started hating Dany from like….season 5 onwards (although by s4 I was starting to get kind of annoyed) I am still on the crowd that she (like most characters) was written massively poorly in season 8. I think it could have been a natural progression for her to have been a mad queen, but the show rushed it and made a huge jump that her character shouldn’t have made with the story that they wrote. That being said, her being a mad queen didn’t surprise me and while I still love book Dany, show Dany was a huge white savior and watching almost every POC die for her story while she was touted as a feminist icon was………………………eh 

Kurt from Glee ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god I hated him. He was a massive hypocrite most of the time (I mean everyone was but he really grinded my gears) and after like 2 seasons he always seemed to act like he was better than everyone. Honestly insert him, Rachel (half the time), and Will in here and I like…did not like them 

put “top 5” anything in my ask and i will answer

[migleefulmoments]

"Why do you think it is OK to be so vile and vicious?" (1) LOLOLOL, you have got to be kidding me. Pot, meet big fucking kettle. (2) Most (not all) of those comments are neither vile nor vicious; they're simply hard to hear, as the truth often is. We believe you believe your theories are true, AJW. Unfortunately, you believing (and wishing and hoping) something is true doesn't make it true. For EVERY argument you make, I could make an equally strong counter that C hates D. Doesn't make it true!

2nd Anonymous said: Is this supposed to be her feel sorry for me post because she literally hates on strangers all day every day. “ajw720*tumblr*com/post/182606038445/in-my-time-here-i-have-been-called it’s very hard to feel sympathy for her when she bullies a woman she doesn’t know because she interferes with her fantasy.

3rd Anonymous said: AJW's on her poor widdle victim's martyr cross again. Anyone got any violins? She's the victimiest victim to ever victim, you know! All I'm imagining is a giant middle-aged baby in a diaper spitting her paci out and throwing a tantrum that big meanies are calling her names. You're right, sounds a lot like Trump.

She can’t even see how vile and vicious she is to Mia or to anons...or to Darren.  She hates his beloved bar-which is by itself very disturbing. Add her attacks on his fiancee, his friends -Starkid in particular but others as well. Also his team Ricky, and Michael, his brother- Chuck and even Darren himself when he Isn’t acting gay enough. She can’t see that she doesn’t like real Darren-that so much of what he does she bitches about and blames on his team as a way to excuse the behavior she doesn’t like as “not his fault”. She hates the bar that he loves.  The bar that is so quintessentially Darren. 

It is impossible for her to hear the truth. She has refused many times- today we just got a complication, the greatest hits of the last 3 years.  She never sees herself in anyone’s critique .  

Since she has no self-reflection, Let’s do it for her:

1.homophobic-funny, because she replied to my ask and called me homophobic once. 

2. misogynistic; I have discussed this many times and she is absolutely a misogynist. If you hate a woman you don’t know at all-a complete stranger- and you hate her because you attribute negative stereotypical female behaviors to her, that is misogyny. 

3.  xenophobic; she probably had an anon who speaks English as a Second Language and she attacked her for grammar or word mistakes.  She probably deserved this label. 

4. a fucking cunt; I hate the word cunt.  But more importantly, I have realized that it NEVER helps to attack her with anything even close to a vicious attack because she gets very self-righteous in her anger.  She lashes out in anger. Not only will she will just attack back, it feeds that self-righteous anger.  So kill her with kindness and intellectual arguments.    

5. an alcoholic cunt; Again I hate that word. If the only photos you post are of your wine glasses AND you call Mia an alcoholic every chance you get, you are probably going to get some pushback with this label. 

6. I have been told to go fuck myself; I hope people aren’t telling her to go fuck herself.  It just feeds her self-righteousness. Attack her with smart, intelligent facts and be nice.  

7. gay fetishist; If you obsess about the genitals of two men who are NOT  in a relationship, you believe Darren acts “Daisy” and you believe all kinds of outdated stereotypes about gay men- like they are scared of boobies- you are fetishizing gay men.  

8. slut; This seems uncalled for.  It’s rude and she never talks about sex so don’t call her a slut.  

9. told to see a therapist; Well....when you believe a richly-detailed fantasy that 1. isn’t any of your business 2. there is literally NO evidence the men are a couple or ever have been aka you have and continue to make it all up  3. both men have denied your fantasy 5. one of the men is straight  6. both men are in long-term relationships with other people  7. you believe you love one of the men 8. you believe you are a better fan than anyone else and 9. you think that you are “collecting receipts” for Darren because you don’t have an NDA- and by “receipts” you mean social media posts -seeing a therapist is a good idea.    

10.  been questioned on having friends as no one would ever want to be friends with someone like me; that’s mean. But when you never present as a very angry, cruel person in every post you make, someone is going to say this. 

11. old hag; This is just mean... but to a  20 year old, I suppose 44 seems old.   

12. essentially told that I brainwash people; you do. If you create a “fact” that is entirely made up in your head (for example “Darren and Chris are married”) and you keep repeating it until your fandom believes and repeats it, that is brainwashing.

13. a liar; When you make up stories (see #12) and portray them as facts, you are a liar.  

14. a fraud (apparently I am not a lawyer, English is my second language, and I did not go to an ivy league school); Maybe you should analyze what you DO that makes other people believe you aren’t a lawyer, English speaking or went to an Ivy League school? I’ll give you some hints: proofread your posts,  don’t posts something like this  “ajw720 Why do frspetate to read put blogs?” and then leave it on your blog. As for not being a lawyer: stop misrepresenting POAs, contracts, NDAs, “facts”, contracts, the rights and responsibilities of a manager, contracts, breaching, morality clauses...those are good places to start.   

15.  ignorant; about?

16.  delusional, delusional fuck, and delusional idiot; When you fabricate stories about 4 complete strangers, proclaim to know more than their friends and families and write posts about exactly what they are thinking, you're delusional.

17.  Devoid of knowledge on how contracts and morality clauses work; All this is 100% true...or maybe you understand them, but you lie about Darren’s contracts and morality clause to fit your trope. 

18.  middle age frau; Again, to a 20 year old, 44 seems ancient.  

19.  Creepy; If you believe you know everything about a complete stranger, you're creepy. If you don’t understand boundaries between a celebrity and a fan who is a complete stranger, you're creepy. Systematically claiming that EVERY SINGLE THING that Darren says about himself is a lie and YOU know the truth is creepy.

20.  Living in a Fictional World; Yep, 100%. CC is NOT real- it is FICTION- and you are the head writer. 

21.  A Truther; Let’s define truther “a person who doubts the generally accepted account of an event, believing that an official conspiracy exists to conceal the true explanation; a conspiracy theorist” Literally exactly what CCers do and are proud of.  They constantly proclaim that they are too smart to fall for the PR narrative and THEY have alternative facts. How can she deny this? A little self awareness is always a good thing.  

22.  I’ve been disparaged for calling D a victim of abuse; You should be- Darren has never so much as hinted that he is abused. It’s all made up in YOUR head.  When you claim someone is abused ONLY because it fits YOUR narrative, you are belittling real the experiences of real victims.  You are belittling the horror they go through and doing so simply because you think it adds to your fantasy.  

23.  A cult leader; As the leader of the CC truthers, I’d say you are a cult leader but let’s again look at the definition.  The 3rd definition of Cult on Google “is a misplaced or excessive admiration for a particular person or thing."a cult of personality surrounding the leaders" synonyms:obsession with, fixation on, mania for, passion for” That describes the CC fandom and you are the self-appointed leader.  

24.  I have been told that I hate D; When you criticize  real Darren for everything he does that doesn’t fit your vision of who he is, when you label him a jerk, college frat bro, and no-homo dude AND blame those behaviors on “his team”, that means you don’t actually like Darren. You LOVE CC Darren, a man who doesn’t exist outside of your head but the real Darren is problematic.  

25. I have been told that D&C would be embarrassed by me; Both men have asked you to stop, both men have told and continue to tell their truth and you continue to discount everything they say because it doesn’t prove CC is real. The “truth” that you fabricate about both men’s lives does not look anything like the lives they are leading-the lives everyone can see-except you. Embarrassed by the CCers stalking their friends’ accounts and then telling them they are wrong about Mia, or Chris & Darren, or just writing CrissColfer a million times. Embarrassed that you guys go in to their comment sections and attack fans who tell you to stop- even if YOU specifically don’t do it- and I know at least ONE of the main CCers does-the words that are used are literally the words that you use- it’s your fantasy.  I think they would be more angry than embarrassed.

26.  Cancer of the Fandom I got nothing for this one.

I have talked about her lack of self awareness before but this is a textbook example of how she can’t take any criticism- it is all immediate rejected.  Yesterday’s YOU WILL RESPECT ME rant is another example of the lack of awareness. I mean, the ”truther” accusation is absolutely SPOT ON and yet she can’t see it.  

I don’t write this blog to belittle or make fun of her or the CCers.  I certainly don’t to change her believes because she won’t change- she is in too far, she thrives on the attention she get....but mostly, she can’t see what she is doing. She can’t see that she is so deep into a fantasy that has been entirely fabricated and since Glee ended, fabricated mostly by her.  She can’t see that her lies are getting all caught up in one another now that she has to explain why Chris and Darren have no connection and Mia and Darren are everywhere together as a couple. She has to keep fabricating excuses for why Darren continues to say he is straight and that he loves Mia. She can’t see that it’s very obvious to the rest of us to see that Chris and Darren have no relationship and Darren and Mia are building a life together. This post proves how much she can’t see outside of her own fantasy. 

I write this blog because I couldn’t stand that CC lies were being pumped out every day and they existed unchecked. They started claiming their fantasies were facts...period.  I couldn’t stand anons asking-begging CCers for proof and they were told “it’s a fact” trust me, don’t question it.  The only info anyone could find -if they did go looking- were CC lies. I needed there to be a place where the truth sits.

If I was interested in simply making fun of them, I wouldn’t spend so much time finding facts- photos, videos, old posts to prove they are misconstruing the truth. 

Sometimes my anons get a little snarky- maybe we can tone that down a little so we don’t give her ammunition for her pity party.  

[angelhummel]

Do you think that some of the Blaine hate was motivated by racism? Fandom demonized him for everything, including innocuous things like giving Kurt a handkerchief, while giving lily white Sebastian and Karofsky complete passes. This is something I've seen with POC in other fandoms, and in Glee with Tina and Mercedes. People claimed they couldn't be racist because Darren is white passing, but I'm skeptical. There had to be a reason the hate was so OTT, and racism is a reasonable explanation.

Honestly? Tbh? Truth? To be honest? Honest to god?

Yeah

I wouldn’t put that past anyone. And you’re right, it’s happened in other fandoms before. Like how someone said they literally wanted to crucify Scott in Teen Wolf bc he accidentally mishandled a dog when he... went out of his way to take it to the vet. What an asshole. Or in How to Get Away With Murder when Conner was like literally involved in a murder and lied about it to Oliver but Oliver is the bad guy bc he like... deleted an email? Honestly idk. People come up with any excuse they can to vilify a character of color 

Same within the fandom, with Tina and Mercedes. How many times did they get called annoying or a bitch for doing the exact same things that other characters got away with constantly?? Let’s just say it’s not a new idea and not outside my realm of disbelief 

Plus like... people will ship Kurt with the craziest choices just to keep him from Blaine. And all of those choices just happen to be white. I mean sure, there’s Sebastian and Karofsky and Adam and Chandler. But people will put him with Finn, his actual stepbrother, or Walter, a 60-something year old man that literally catfished him, before they put him with Blaine. Hell, I saw a fic that was Kurt and Spencer, which is, um, illegal. But okay. And it’s so funny because I’ve like, literally never seen any Blaine haters that shipped Kurt with Elliott. The one person he actually is friends with and gets along with besides Blaine

And fun fact, Adam Lambert is Jewish. And I know Puckurt is its own little thing, but I don’t think that that ship has as big a backing as, say, Kurtofsky or Kurtbastian. So yes, I think anyone that isn’t a lily white anglo saxon individual is going to be skewered by the fandom and obviously not be a viable partner for our beautiful porcelain angel 

On the other hand. I saw one old “Glee Confession” that literally said they’d ship Kurt with Rachel or Santana before they shipped him with Blaine. So. Maybe Blaine haters really are just that stupid 

@that anon that sent me the unpopular opinion about hating Blaine: I’d love for you to let me know if your reasons for hating Blaine appear in this ask, or if it’s completely unrelated. Because I really do not know what the deal is with you guys. Also I don’t want to answer your ask on its own so (: Please and thank you

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 71

71: The Hurt Locker, Part One

Written by: Ian Brennan Directed by: Ian Brennan

Overall Thoughts: This is one of those Glee episodes that is on some hardcore drugs. The first time I watched it I had zero clue what was happening, and literally spent the entire time thinking “WHAT”. The more I’ve watched it, the more I’ve come to appreciate the comedic value of it, but for the most part I still find it a bit too strange.

What I Like:

This episode is seriously hilarious. There are so many good one-liners.

Sue hypnotizing Sam and how easy it is. Also “Are you familiar with the film The Manchurian Candidate?” “I don’t know, do you think I am?”

Blaine being a little diva and his “I just want to make sure that the order is picked fairly, and by fairly I mean that we’re going second”

Also, his passive aggressive “Huh, that’s so unlike you!” when Rachel says she quit piano, and the whole lesson he gives.

Somehow there is more Klaine in this non-Klaine focused episode than there has been in past Klaine focused episodes.

Blaine being so pouty about the fact that Dave has dated tons of guys with facial hair. It’s really funny especially considering how much Darren Criss loves his beard.

The scene between Sam and Rachel at Breadstix’s, until they try and turn it romantic. It’s so fucking funny when Sam is like “what do you do to keep busy?” and Rachel goes “besides cry?” and then after she’s like “what do you do” and he says he blows glass and she’s like “wait what really”

THE BEAR IN BLAINE AND KAROFSKY’S APARTMENT

The Klaine scene in the auditorium.

On a certain level, I kind of find the way they represented Sue as a Klainer to be hilarious in how realistically it portrays certain parts of the fandom. You know, the fetishistic, lowkey homophobic part of the fandom who mainly ship them because they’re two pretty boys. But, on the other hand…

What I Don’t Like:

… painting an entire fandom (and one of your most active and vocal fandoms at that) with such broad strokes isn’t a good move. A lot of Klainer’s were really offended by this episode and the next one, and to a certain point, I see why. Sue here is portrayed as one of the extremists. What’s happening here is that shipping and RPF are being united, because Sue is a comedic portrayal of the extreme parts of fandom, but because she in in the world with Kurt and Blaine, it comes pretty close to RPF. Basically, it looks like all Klainers are also tinhatters. It’s not a very flattering picture, and while it’s accurate to some people in the fandom, it isn’t accurate to all of them. People don’t really like being portrayed on national television as the worst parts of their fandom. That’s just a fact.

I dislike Samchel and I will stand by that. I hate that they went there. It was unnecessary. No thank you.

I’m so tired of the “If I understood what you said correctly” jokes aimed at Becky. You can understand her just fine. Shut the fuck up.

Honestly, as amusing as a lot of what happens in this episode is, the whole idea of Sue’s hurt locker is a little terrifying, and definitely backslides a LOT of character development. Oh, Glee.

I have mixed feelings about the Kurt and Walter story that I don’t fully want to get into, so I’ll put it here because I find my mixed feelings do lean more toward the negative than the positive.

I feel kind of weird about the whole “Principal Figgins first name is Principal” joke but I can’t quite put my finger on why.

I have a hard time following the timeline of this episode. They start by going to the auditorium for invitationals, but invitationals doesn’t start until the end of the episode, after which it seems more than obvious that several days have passed. Was this all supposed to be happening in one day? Why did all the teams have to go to McKinley several days before the competition? Why drag all the Warblers and VA to McKinley if they weren’t competing? I DON’T UNDERSTAND

Songs:

Bitch: You can’t hear autotune as much as you usually can with Sue’s song, which I appreciate. This whole performance kind of encapsulates every way that they’ve gone back on Sue’s character development though, so I find it frustrating.

A Thousand Miles: The audio of this is decent, but the scene is annoying because of Samchel.

Rock Lobster: Becky in her lobster suit really makes this. And Rachel and Schue’s faces.

Whip It: I really don’t get why everyone is freaking out about these performances because they don’t seem out of the ordinary to me? I don’t know.

Final Thoughts: This episode is funny. Like, really fucking funny. But that’s most of what it has going for it. I still watch it a lot because it’s seriously hilarious. But, yeah. Nothing too substantial here.

[spaceorphan18]

Season 2 Wrap Up Thoughts (Part 3)

Okay - hopefully I can be more concise with the rest of it... 

Sam Evans - The Introduction of White Chocolate

The funny thing about Sam is the fact that I don’t think the show knew quite what they wanted to do with him.  At first -- he’s a foil for Finn, and obsessed with status - the only time (if I’m remembering correctly) that he really cares about that.  He dates Quinn - which is more about Quinn.  And it isn’t really until the second half of the season that we get a Sam, who feels more like Sam.  I will say - it’s nice to know that his kindheartedness, though, is there right from the start (in the way he treats Kurt - but in the way he’s inclusive of everyone), which makes him a fresher character.  And through his struggles with being poor, and his interest with Mercedes, while not huge plot points in this season, add some nice complexities to his character.  There seem to be very few ‘good’ characters on the show - but Sam is one of them. 

Puck and Lauren - <Insert Witty Tittle>

There wasn’t a whole lot of Puck in season 2 - which is completely fine.  I think his character served the purpose he needed to in season 1 and I’m not sure there was much more to do with him other than graduate him off, which is why we’ll get an overabundance of Puck in season 3.  The best part is hooking him up with Lauren.  I am a little sad, though, that the writers couldn’t push it all the way though.  While I appreciate Lauren having control over the relationship - it would have been nice to see an obese woman be in a sexual relationship with a conventionally attractive man.  They always toyed with it - but never let it be consummated, which I find sad. 

As for Lauren herself, I’m always back and forth on.  On the plus side, I’m glad we have a larger woman who knows her own strength, and is not afraid to be the person she is.  On the other hand, they couldn’t get out from under the overweight character tropes, such as lame jokes about food.  By the time the season was ending, Lauren was really coming into her own, so I do find it a shame that there wasn’t another season to really develop her -- and her final appearance in season 4 just didn’t do the character justice, even if she was at least given some sort of wrap up. 

Santana, Brittany, and Artie - Lots of Shades of Grey

Hm...where to start.  Let’s start with Santana.  I’m always so back and forth on Santana, because she’s a mean character for the sake of being mean, and I don’t like it.  Like Quinn, there’s this whole deconstructing mean girls thing Ryan Murphy seems to enjoy, and I don’t really give a fig about that stuff.  During the first half of the season - Santana is a bitch because, well, she can be.  

And then they go forward with Santana being a lesbian, and I can get behind this.  I hate to say it added depth to the character, because I feel like that’s diminishing being a lesbian to a novelty (which I’m not trying to do), but Santana became a better character when they add more layers to her.  Stuff with Brittany aside (I’ll get to that in a sec) I do think Santana’s struggling with acknowledging that she’s a lesbian is one of the better arcs in season 2.  And I like that it gives Santana some vulnerability that we otherwise don’t get to see.  

The stuff with Brittany, though, I’m uneasy about.  I don’t doubt that Brittany loves Santana (Brittany, uniquely, loves everyone), but I really do not like the lengths Santana goes to manipulate her and her relationship with Artie.  It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  And while I’m all about the inclusion of f/f romance - I wish they just let them deal with being in love with each other on their own without the added love triangle bonus. 

Brittany, meanwhile, I mostly like in the season.  However, my two issues here are a) Heather Morris is a weaker actor - and while she has some fantastic lines to say, I don’t always feel it from her, and b) like @ckerouac pointed out on the podcast - they have an issue of creating an infantilized Brittany -- reducing her to a childlike state, often times within her romance with Artie, which feels icky, especially when they sexualize her at the same time.  Brittany is an interesting character study - because I do enjoy how much she seems to be open about sexuality and love and seems to genuinely care about everyone! But let’s stop making her like a child, too, show.  

And then there’s Artie - I do feel a sliver bad for him - in that being in a wheel chair makes him feel inferior.  But I really feel like he’s using Brittany to make himself feel better about himself, which doesn’t feel fair at all to Brittany (and in this respect, I prefer Brittany and Santana - cause I think Santana thinks of Brittany as an equal and not as someone who will help her status).  On top of that - Brittany and Artie spend most of the season in happy-ish couple land, which means to the background you go.  Artie, especially, seemed to disappear unless it was semi-troubles with Brittany.  

As an aside - show, why can’t you let Brittany straight up identify as bisexual? Ug, c’mon... 

Mercedes - Always Second Place

If there’s someone who got the short end of the stick this season, it’s Mercedes.  Seriously.  She didn’t really have an arc, and the two(-ish) times she got something to do she was dumbed down or made out to be a bitch.  It’s like the writers had no idea what to do with Mercedes other than make her sing, so they mostly just ignored her the entire season, which is really sad.  The one bright spot is her burgeoning love story with Sam late in the series - which is unfortunately cut short and dropped until mid-season 3.  Sorry, girl - you deserve better! 

Mike and Tina - Happy Couples Don’t Get Screen Time

Mike and Tina spent a lot of time in the background making out.  Seriously - I think they made out more than any other couple on the show, tbh.  However, they had zero plot lines.  Maybe some c-plots here and there.  But they were the happy couple, and c’mon, we should know by now how this show feels about happy couples.  I get that in an ensemble cast this big, you can’t focus on everyone equally, and season 2 tried it’s best - but there seemed to be zero interest in developing either of these characters.  So they made out in the background.  Which, to me, isn’t interesting.  **Shrugs**

Kurt, Blaine, Klaine - and the best damn story of the season 

Alright, so I’ve had an entire meta series and podcast dedicated to gushing about how much I love this, so I’m going to keep this short.  I realize I’m biased, but, by far, the best part of season 2.  And I will go as far as saying, had this arc not been a part of season 2, I don’t think I’d have continued watching.  (In fact, when Kurt left during Furt - I thought they were writing him off the show, and I didn’t want to watch any further.)  

And let’s be honest -- a question to you other Klainers out there -- take out Kurt and Blaine from season 2.  Is it still the best? Do you still think of this as the perfect season of Glee?  I really am curious about this...  

But anyway - the thing that I truly love about this particular arc is how masterfully it’s woven throughout the season.  We start with Kurt -- still dealing with stuff from his season 1 arc, at his lowest of lows, and adding on the bullying stuff as well.  And gradually, throughout the season, he picks himself back up, finds love, finds confidence, and finds a way to say ‘fuck you world - i’m gonna be me’.  And it truly is a gorgeous arc to watch.  (Which, as an aside, I don’t understand just following the Klaine arc of the season, cause Kurt’s arc is so multifaceted)  

Klaine (and Blaine) is this extra bonus.  The Warblers are comedic gold, and entertaining in their own right.  Dalton is this delightful little side world.  But more so - Klaine gets to a gay fairy tale romance.  And it’s such a beautiful thing on it’s own.  And obviously, all the love...  

As for Blaine -- isn’t as developed as a full character yet, but of course, we’ll get to see him do that in the upcoming seasons.  For now - he works as what he is - Kurt’s romantic interest.  On a random, shallow note - I kind of like this Blaine look out of all the others.  Sorry. :P 

Anyway - yes, just a lot of positive gushing for Kurt and Blaine - but I’m sure you knew that already. 

Some Final Thoughts

I’ve often gone back and forth on where I place season 2 in my own personal rankings of the seasons.  Is it the best season? -- Personally, no, it’s not -- but I can understand why it means so much to so many people.  The first season, I still think, had the best writing - and was probably the funniest, but season 2 did something wise and focused in on what people wanted the most - the younger characters and their relationship dynamic.  And when you add that to the the fandom experience -- this kind of golden age where everyone was more or less getting along, it seemed like this perfect time.  So, I get that season 2 gets renowned the way it was.  

But, for me, when you take away the stuff with Kurt and Blaine, there isn’t a whole lot of things for me to like.  I do think there was some good stuff with Santana in the second half.  I do think there were some overall strong ensemble stories.  But most of it -- I find myself not really caring about.  And I think, overall, season 2′s lows are lower than season 1s.  There are some really bad episodes and plot lines in this episode that I think are forgotten because the highs are so highs.  Season 5 might be a bit messier in its story telling, but I think as a giant whole - I prefer that one better.  However - I will say that Kurt’s story arc in season 2 might be my favorite story arc in the entire show.  

And I suppose that is how SO sees it ;) 

[wavebiders]

In which I watch pretty little liars out of context.

So yesterday I was on a 7 hour plane ride, and besides a couple episodes of modern family there wasn’t anything on the entertainment system I was familiar with.

There were however four episodes from around the start of the 5th season if pretty little liars. I decided to watch those since I heard that recently that fandom got a f/f endgame (if anyone in that fandom follows me congrats on that) and write down all my unfunny smart ass comment because I had nobody to talk to.

I decided to post them here because I always think it’s funny when people watch my favorite shows out of context and post it, and also because I’m planning to watch the whole thing myself, and I think I’ll enjoy looking back on these.

 Why is this girl all upset about having to wear formal clothing?

Also how are they going to study a planet with a backyard telescope?

Ally is one of the queer girls right?

Who’s the chick with the glasses and why does seeing her upset possibly queer girl and co.

For some reason this intro is making me really uncomfortable.

Why cant the boy with the bad haircut talk to Jenna?

So Jenna is the chick with the glasses and apparently shes blind.

Why does everybody hate blind Jenna?

“We blinded Jenna, we killed her girlfriend, she’s back to punish us for it.” You girls don’t seem like good people, also does this mean ally’s not the gay one or is there more than one?“

She’s been trough worse? God her life must suck.

Mose?!?!

They didn’t even try to make them look like highschoolers did they?

“I JUST WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH!” well too bad your show is called pretty little liars then, huh?

K that’s 2 dead girls mentioned so far and I’m 11 minutes in the last show i watched was about singing teenagers ima need sometime yo adjust.

On an unrelated note I dig Spencer’s scarf.

Hannah seems like a bitch and not the fun kind.

Don’t go talking about glee clubs i’m trying to move on here.

Yay Mose is back.

What does Mose have against ally?

Don’t leave there’s a girl crying.

I think I like Em.

Hold up em+Allison=emison yes? They’re the queer ones? Just so we’re clear on why I’m even attempting to watch this?

Holy shit yes they are okay.

All the dudes on this show get on my nerves and usually i love male characters more than any gay girl should. But i just want all these guys to dissapear.

This girl talking to blind Jenna seems nice what’s her name?

Just how big of a bitch was Allison?

Bitch no you slapped her back don’t lie.

Why play the stalker song during a romantic scene?

SWEET LADY KISSES.

Sucks to be ally rn

That video was badly edited c’mon Mona.

St o p wit h th e murd er a l re ady.

This dudes hair still sucks.

Dead girl no.3 okay.

I’m still not sure where I stand with all the characters but I think maybe i kiiind of ship emison? Maybe.

Oh fuck I’m gonna have to watch this entire crappy show aren’t I?

Do we know Bethany young?

Was that a bomb?

Bad hair dude is named Toby and his house is on fire.   Why is the beeping bad

*next episode*

Who is a?

BOOM!!! sry  I like explosions.

Is bad hair dude dead? Nope hes fine.

This show is really fucked up.

Honestly they should all skip town. I’m with all.

The show seems self aware about love triangles.

I really don’t like this guy for some reason.

Dead rats in lockers doesn’t seem sanitary.

Yeah ally should not wear scarves.

I may or may not be developing a slight crush on Emily.

Ooooh divorce drama. Girl it aint that bad you get two houses out of it.

Still don’t care about any of the guys.

Are they not serving food on this flight? (not related to the show I was just very hungry)

A is a creep.

…

Stop wearing scarves ally

I don’t trust this Sidney chick.

I really don’t care about Hanna(is it Hanna? Big cast) and scruffy dude.

Wait everybody hates ally because she was bitchy as a sophomore really?

Dead rat strikes again.

I feel like this show would be super fun to watch while buzzed for some reason.

Still don’t like whathisface.

“…gone,poof” wrong series

Wow crappy beds.

Okay passive aggressive dinner.

Mom is a shipper?

*still doesn’t care about Hanna and scruffy boy*

I’m tellin’ ya that Sydney girl is no good.

*next episode* 

Pipper??????

No really is that piper?

Bad hair boy got a haircut?

I know i shouldn’t judge since i missed 4 seasons but so far I’m not Hanna’s biggest fan.

Do not talk to Sydney she evil.

I know that guy.

Pipper!!

Same girl.

You sir are a creep.

She ded

Or not that’s good shes nice

Goddammit allison (oh wow flashback my high school experience)

I could have sworn I had more written down but I guess I lost it.

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Previously Unaired Christmas

Masterpost

5x08: Previously Unaired Christmas

Look - it’s no secret that I am not a fan of this episode.  It still makes my stomach twist a little for reasons that I can’t entirely articulate (and I suspect are far more personal than any real issue the episode presents).  I know people are split on either loving this episode or hating this episode - maybe doing this will help me figure out what’s really going on.  

I, personally, have two issues with the whole thing. (The second one I’ll explain within the narrative of the episode.)  The first is that it does kind of feel like an FU to pretty much everyone.  I don’t necessarily think it’s to the fans explicitly (though the stuff with Kurt kinda feels like that), but in general, I’m guessing they were forced into a holiday episode that they didn’t really want to do by the network.  Because more so, the nastiness towards Christmas feels like that.  

I also have to wonder if Cory’s passing plays a small part.  I mean - this is cracky Glee - it’s been cracky Glee for a while now.  We just had an episode about puppets, twerking, and dressing up in bizarre Lady Gaga outfits.  The show has been kind of off the rails for most of season 5, and this episode almost feels like the climax of that (after the break - things feel a little more...normal?)  

Anyway - I don’t know exactly how we ended up here - but I kind of wish that Glee didn’t end it’s Christmas run on a, well, whatever this note is.  

Oh! And one last thing.  At this point - season six was not shortened.  I wonder if they had another, more heartfelt, Christmas episode idea for their final one.  Hmmm.  

What If

We open with Jane Lynch talking about how this was a secret hidden away episode.  And I’m bringing it up because this whole set up seemed to confuse everyone.  No - this was most definitely not a lost episode, nor do I think it’s any more or less controversial than anything else they did on the show.  (I do think the writers didn’t give a flying fuck - and were warning about that...)  

However, this whole intro does seem to make things confusing.  Yes - it’s set in season 4.  Yes - I’ll bet they did, at some point, come up with the Rough Trade Santa thing the previous year, and just discarded it until now.  However, shout out to @ckerouac for bringing up the point that -- if Glee wanted to go cracky, they could have gone so much further.  I mean if you’re going to go AU - why not do something entirely wacky.  They kind of did in Glee, Actually with Artie’s fantasy.  So, I’m kind of in agreement.  Why bring it back to season 4 (other than you have newbies you have to deal with).  Why not shoot it into the future, or just switch everyone’s bodies again.  Glee can go that extra mile, why not?  Who knows.  

Meanwhile - I need to state that this did not happen in the main timeline.  It could have (sort of - there are so many continuity errors that it hurts my head).  But it did not.  This is completely AU.  And really, I could skip it if I really wanted to.  I’m going through it just the same because a) for completeness sake - it’d bother me if I didn’t, b) there are some interesting Kurt-meta points that I think are worth bringing up.  

That long winded, probably unnecessary preamble aside - here we go. 

Grandma Moses

So.  We open on the New York side with Santana crashing at the loft, buying Kurt weird doll heads and tickets to Dildo island.  (Are we being edgy yet - the writers ask? Just you wait ;))  Okay, so this scene kind of sets up what the whole New York act is supposed to be about.  It seems they want to address two specific things about Kurt (that I have at least seen in criticisms, and I’m pretty sure the writers did, too)  -- a) That he didn’t have enough of a “normal teenage reaction” to his break up with Blaine and b) that Kurt is an old grandma, desexualized gay.  

Well.  Glee being in its FU mode is going to rectify that - just not in the way that’s going to satisfy anyone (I shouldn’t generalize - I know there are people who love this episode, my regards).  

And - in a FWIW thought, Kurt is an old grandma.  He always has been.  That’s just part of the make up of the character.  

The point, however, of Santana’s little monologue of exposition here is to set the stage for what’s going to happen in the rest of the episode.  It reminds me of the Tattooo Guy in The End of Twerk - telling Kurt that if he’s going to go nuts, he has to go all out.  

[2 asides - 1. Santana is also getting rewritten break up stuff (I’m guessing in response to criticism), as they seem to retcon a ton about the Brittana break up.  2. This whole story seems to be a commentary about Kurt specifically, and not really about Blaine?  Blaine seems to be fine this entire episode - though he’s barely shown because he’s off screen with some weird yule log obsession ;)]  

Meanwhile - Rachel has gotten them all jobs as elves at the mall.  Which - I suppose makes sense.  Oh! And weirdly enough - there’s no discussion from Rachel about her own break up with Finn (which makes sense because of Cory), or about Brody, or Cassie, or any of the stuff that happened to Rachel in season 4.  Weird, right? Nah, she’s just a backdrop to the Kurt and Santana stuff.  I will say - Rachel saying that she’ll be the best Jewish Elf ever made me laugh. 

Bad Santa

Ah, the one highlight of the episode - Chris Kurt in that elf costume.  It was like he was born to play an elf.  Lol 

Anyway - they get to the mall, and Santa’s late, and drunk.  (Not really here for bad santa - but his line about them in an ‘equity card’ mindset had me laughing.)  So, of course Rachel takes charge and they try to calm the audience with Here Comes Santa Claus. It’s -- perfectly fine.  In general, I find the music of the episode, with the exception of Love Child, somewhat uninspired.  Oh, right, this is a musical show, we have to have music.  Here’s a Christmas song.  

Of course, at the end, the kids aren’t charmed - they throw crap at them.  Yeah - we totally didn’t see this happen in season 2.  

I have read some meta about how Kurt, Rachel, and Santana are stand-ins for the writers here -- that whatever they do, it’s gonna get crap thrown at them.  (The thought is echoed at the end, too)  Oh! I have lots of thoughts on this, but I should probably save it for another post, cause it’s not really about Kurt.  

So -- the next day? Later that day? Santana goes and takes a bath...in the loft? I have no idea what the time line is.  I haven’t watched the Lima side of this episode since it aired.  Anyway, Kurt and Rachel call her up and beg her to help them.  Santana gives another obligatory joke about Kurt being an old grandma - born to play Mrs. Claus.  (Um, Santana - I think we’ve established that Kurt was born to be that Elf.)  

Oh - this still says so much....

Santana arrives as Mrs. Claus and proceeds to be a bitch to little people under ten.  Kurt and Rachel rightfully look horrified.  Sorry.  I don’t like this sequence.  It’s mean spirited and awful.  I don’t think it’s funny when adults are mean to innocent kids.  Moving on...

And....then we have the arrival of “Sexy Santa” Cody.  (Dude - this guy is totally skeevy to me -- who arrives at a mall without a shirt? But whatever)  And the rest of this plot line gets played out like half baked smutty fanfiction.  

I will say this -- I do think all of this is completely in character for Kurt.  Remember Ricky Martin in season 3?  This is essentially the same reaction from Kurt.  Kurt finds lots of guys attractive -- and he is allowed to react to it.  (And we’re in cracky mode - this is totally played up for laughs, in the same way it was when Ricky Martin guest starred.) 

This is also not one of my issues with the episode. 

Anyway - Cody wants to “get to know” his elves before he helps them.  Ew.  Kurt those abs are clouding your judgment, buddy. 

That Godawful Chipmunk Song

Santana once again reminds Kurt that he’s a stick in the mud and convinces him to spike his own eggnog.  And then Cody arrives.  Again.  Shirtless.  **rolls eyes**  And obviously scoping out the place so he can rob it.  Maybe that’s part of the reason I can’t really get on board with Kurt hooking up with him.  Cause it’s obvious that this guy is gross and going to be bad.  Yuck. 

Anyway, we all know what a light weight Kurt is - and within a few sips of cooking sherry and eggnog, he’s all flirty mcdrunk pants.  

So - this whole Chipmunk thing - in bulletted form because my brain is currently working better that way... 

I, personally, think this song is dumb.  Sorry.  

It creates this super weird adult/kid vibe between Cody and the loftmates, which I find uncomfortable.  

Cody is obviously playing this all up because he’s going to rob them - which makes his actions later really awful.  

Trashed Kurt with anyone else (especially Blaine, but anyone really) would have been hilarious in just about any other context.  

Chris, obviously, had a lot of fun filming this - so I’ll let him have that.  

The point where SO goes on her diatribe - so feel free to skip

Oh, where to start.  

1. Cody is taking advantage of a incredibly drunk, barely legal teenager in order steal from him. I don’t think the writers put a whole lot of thought into it -- other than saying ‘hey, we can make Kurt a sexual creature’, but I do think it was kind of in bad taste. 

2.  I wasn’t personally offended by it - but there were a lot of people who were (especially when it gets to the being tied up, and Kurt telling Cody no), and a lot of people telling them to get over it because it was cracky glee.  The whole hoopla over that in fandom has always left a bad taste in my mouth.  

3. Gross Cody stuff aside, no I don’t think this is out of character for Kurt.  Kurt’s in a bad place about breaking up with Blaine -- and after being pushed by Santana hard enough, having enough alcohol in him, and being presented with the opportunity, Kurt’s trying to get out of his shell a bit and enjoy himself.  He’s perfectly right to do so, and I do think it makes sense that someone going through a hardship like a rough break up with a first love would try something new -- especially being a first time college student with no limitations. 

4. What about “you matter” and baby penguin Kurt?  Well - first of all, I don’t think Kurt has ever been a baby penguin, and I’m going to spend a lot of the second half of season 5 talking about Kurt being very much a sexual being.  I also think that Kurt does and will always be particular about sex -- again, the writers had to get Kurt incredibly drunk and in a very specific situation for this to even present itself.  I don’t think it’s that Kurt can’t (or won’t) have casual sex, but more so that it means more to him when it’s with someone he loves.  Had this not been a throwaway episode intent on being offensive and cracky, that thought might have been explored. 

5. It cracks me up that they kind of even half-assed Kurt being a sexual being.  Sure, Cody’s half naked in-between Kurt’s legs.  It’s more of a slight of hand, though.  The kissing is a) cut away from very quickly, and b) barely kissing (the first part when Santana and Rachel come in isn’t really even kissing - it’s like stage kissing, where you kiss their cheek, it looks like making out, but it’s not).  The whole thing looks way more provocative than it really is. 

6. I do think it’s unfortunate that they didn’t let Kurt be this provocative and flirty (and handsy) with anyone else on the show.  I do think Kurt has hotter moments (with Blaine - in various episodes, I can name them for you if you like).  But the whole being overtly sexual and gay and somewhat naked is limited throughout the show (this goes for Brittana, too, for that matter, and even the Quinn/Santana hook up - they were mostly covered and a good four feet from each other on that bed). 

6B. As an aside, though -- Glee doesn’t do overtly sexual very often, and nearly every time they do it’s for comedy.  It makes me wonder if there was some kind of limitations in general.  I mean, Finchel never got a mostly naked sex scene either - though Blaine and Brittany did -- for comedy.  

7. I do think there’s an interesting story about season 4 Kurt dealing with his break up -- which would have included more intimate moments with Adam, and/or other people.  But that wasn’t the story they chose.  

7B. I do think, ultimately, this was the writers saying - well we could have written that story - but we prefer the one we are doing.  I think it’s in part of the whole FU thing they were going for.  I mean, even for people who wanted to see Kurt get more action -- he’s going to get punished for it in a sec, so even that feels like a bit of an FU.  

Moving on... the next morning Santana and Rachel wake up to find that they’ve been robbed and Kurt is tied up.  

Kurt does say that when he said no to a sexual thing - Cody got aggressive and tied him up.  That is leaning on sexual assault there, show.  Again - I’m not personally offended, but I also don’t think it’s funny either.  

Oh, as an aside I want to mention the whole thrown in joke there about Kurt being sexy to kiss because it’s like he has no kiss (geez, is it just me or is there a blow job joke in there somewhere?) it is a comment on Chris’s physical attributes.  So, calm down people when we get to Santana’s rant in season six.  Every character gets pot shots about their looks. It’s part of being an actor in general.    

Go Feel Shame

It’s...the next day? And Kurt’s talking to Santana (seeming much more Kurt like than the rest of the episode) about how he just wanted to let loose and feel better.  (Well, alcohol rarely helps with that kiddo - but it’s a lesson nonetheless.)  It’s interesting that he says he feels ashamed (he shouldn’t - but I can see why he would).  And he also doesn’t want Blaine to know, ever.  (An odd comment for something that is an AU)  

I do understand some people’s thoughts that they wished Kurt had had a better experience about letting loose a little (and in some ways he did -- I mean that was what The End of Twerk was about).  And I agree in that not every poor decision in your life needs to be met with shame and being robbed.  

But I do think it’s also Glee’s way of saying - hey, we did hear you - and we’re going to continue to tell the story our way.  

They all look really lovely in this scene.  Rachel has a new gig for them - singing behind a wall of glass.  

It’s the fourth wall -- Kurt, Santana, and Rachel are the writers again.  It’s probably better that they stay there for their own safety.  But also - this episode is what happens when that wall is broken down between creators and fandom - a weird mess of....whatever this is.  

Oh! One last final side thought -- no, there’s no Klaine duet.  That doesn’t bother me within the context of this story - it wouldn’t have made sense anywhere.  That said, I’m sorry they didn’t get a final duet.  I think Winter Wonderland would have been a nice conclusion for them.  Let’s take a moment and lament that there was no season six Christmas episode to end on a high note with. 

Time to move on to the regular story at hand.