#and girlies if i am being honest once more. i am so so tired of it. i want people to appreciate the intricacies and subtleties i put in

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

I need to finish this chapter so I can get my three comments but frankly I don't want to

[unpopularbunny]

This lowkey been a long time coming if I’m being honest. I am also a massive fucking hypocrite because I will avoid Baku/kiri/reader fics but this??? This right here??? 🙇‍♀️ I’m on the floor baby. (Ngl this has like a pinch of body shaming in it, just wanna preface by saying I do not hate any specific group of people based on any physical trait they may have. I just want more love for big girlies.)

Pairing: chifuyu/reader/baji

You already know: reader is a fat girl!!!!! everyone’s an adult, no set timeline, fuck it we ball 🏀, paranormal slutivity, your fave mans is a whore, public shenanigans, reader lowkey under the influence but there’s no dub/noncon, no beta reader again so if u point out any flaws ur being mean to me and if ur mean to me I’ll die, reblogs make u SO big brained 🗿🗿

Minors: ur mama know what you doin? I’m telling 💥

A/n: I’ll add a readmore when i get home and can make sure tumblr wont eat my post when I do.

🌹🌷🌹

you just wanted to be different for once. To ignore years of mass media telling you how to dress, to feel wild and FREE. you wanted tight revealing clothes and makeup all over your face, you wanted men to jaw drop and double take at the sight of your hips swaying.

This fantasy never got far and you never predicted you’d end up between two friends who always shared in the name of brotherly camaraderie.

Leeeets take it back about a week.

You weren’t by any means conservative in your day by day fashion, you just didn’t dress how you truly wanted to. You were always worried about the stares you’d get, stares that dared to ask ‘does she know she’s embarrassing herself?’. As time went on the urge to free yourself from the confines of stretchy jeans and sweaters was too much to ignore any longer. All it took was one night of drinking at home for you to blow nearly half a paycheck on clothes that were one inch away from getting you in legal trouble. You felt justified in this, it was your turn damnit!!! You were tired of hours doom scrolling on your phone and watching all the pretty skinny girls be drowned in affection, you wanted to make people notice you. You wanted to make men think about you as you walked passed, you deserved attention and people to fawn over you.

Needless to say, the next day you realized how fucking delusional your thinking was the night before.

You nursed a headache all through the day and when you got home you were greeted by your roommate in the livingroom looking like the cat that caught the mouse. Next to her on the couch was a plastic package, she shook it at you wiggling her eyebrows and you snatched it from her before she could even ask and shuffled to your room. You could hear her cackling. It’s not like you had any kind of bad blood with your roommate, you two were actually childhood friends, you just didn’t want anyone to see your secrets.

You showered and stood in your room, staring at the package on your bed before deciding fuck it and ripping it open. You couldn’t even remember what all you ordered anyway. Most of the articles of clothing were black, save for some racy sets of underwear you thought looked cute. You refused to believe any of it could fit you, it seemed so….small. There was no way in hell you were going to give up now though, you spent all that fucking money so there was no reason not to try the clothes on.

A mistake really.

They fit you far too good.

Sure, it was tight, but not uncomfortably so, in fact the tightness felt comforting in a way? The tops hugged your curves and even though your tummy peaked out at the bottom, you thought it looked cute in a way. The skirts wouldn’t stay down, rolling up your ass when you paced your room, you’d definitely have to wear a jacket with those. The pants needed belts, your waist to hip ratio was too different for them to stay up. They felt tigh and constricting on your hips and thighs, but there was plenty of waist room. After posing a bit in your mirror you sort of lost yourself for a bit. Falling in love with your curves and admiring how your body had so many wonderful attributes.

You almost screamed when someone’s knocked on the door.

You failed to lock it and it was your downfall.

Your roommate was all gasps and awes’ at your state. She paced around you like a tiger and assaulted you with compliments, no matter how you tried to shush her and make excuses, she wouldn’t hear it. She made you re-try on all the clothes so she could see them all. It felt like you were back to school shopping with your mom, except this time she wasn’t forcing you into bullshit khakis and polos. It actually turned into a bunch of fun as she gave you tips for accessorizing and hair styling.

When all was calmed down and you two were on the couch she took your weakness and vulnerability as a chance to strike like the snake she is.

She insisted you two go out this weekend!

You couldn’t even shoot her down, she had just spent the last hour boosting your ego and self esteem that you mumbled out a small ‘I guess’. She clapped her hands in glee and started firing off names of bars and clubs and she got the same responses from you every time ‘you pick’ and ‘I’ve never been there before.’ The most you told her is that you wanted to go somewhere you wouldn’t be recognized by coworkers or other friends and colleagues.

She just threw her head back and laughed, saying that you wouldn’t be recognizable with those clothes on anyway.

You couldn’t help but feel a little paranoid about what she had in store for you.

🌹 🌷 🌹

The week went by too fast for your liking and every time you tried to back out of the plans you were strongarmed by your roommate. She wasn’t going to let you go that easy. When Saturday arrived you tried avoiding her, but she was more determined than you’ve ever seen her.

You gave in and let her do with you as she pleased.

She picked out your outfit from the new clothes you bought and dug around your closet for some platforms you’d bought years ago but never worn (amazingly they still fit regardless of your calves.). She styled your hair and even did your makeup (you still got to pick the colors (: ), you felt like a sacrifice being painted up before the ritual.

How close to this assumption you were.

The club she dragged you two was some hole in the wall in shibuya with low lights and loud music. You were sweating before you even went in and it was only hotter once you two were inside. You could feel the bass shoot through your entire body and you felt so nervous and couldn’t look anywhere but the floor. Your friend ordered you both a few drinks, or rather ‘liquid courage’ she dubbed it. You were thankful for it, seeing as after a few drinks you felt much more comfortable in your skin than before. Your friend excused herself to the bathroom and you smiled and waved her off as she went, taking a few more sips of whatever new fruit concoction was in front of you.

After a few moments you were occupied on both sides by two new people. You glanced to your right and had to look up to see the man, Jesus Christ, even with platforms on he still had a few inches on you. He had long silky black hair, brown eyes, and a smile so sinister you would normally feel scared. You smiled right back and when you glanced to your left you were a few inches taller than other man. This man had short cut black hair, the cutest green eyes you’d ever seen, and ear piercings. Speaking of ears, the tips of his seemed to be tinted a little….pink?

You weren’t sure what to do now that men approached you first so you went back to looking down at your drink and sipping at it. You were a little hunched over and caught bits and pieces of the men having a conversation over your head. ‘You like this one?’ ‘Baji don’t objectify women like that, its kinda gross.’ ‘I’m just trying to help is all’ His laugh caught you off guard and you jumped.

“Eh? What’s wrong girlie? Did we scare you?” You glanced to your right and..baji? Was leaning down into your personal space. When you leaned back you were leaning into his friend, who didn’t exactly seem to hate your body pressing into his.

“No- you’re just a little…close is all” you were surprised anyone could hear you over the music.

“C’mon baji let’s le-“ baji waved his hand and chifuyu stopped.

“Wanna dance with us?” He was pressing himself against your side, his hand gliding up your thigh towards your hips. He laughed at the confused face you responded with, “yeah girlie, both of us, unless that ain’t your type thing. I just assumed on account of how you dressin and all.” You couldn’t tell if your face was hot from being drunk or the embarrassment.

You should feel outraged at the fact that he assumed you were a loose woman but…..was that such a bad thing? You wanted to feel desired, you wanted to be lusted after, and it was happening. He wasn’t using force, in fact his hand was merely resting at the small of your back rubbing small circles. You were still in a public place so it’s not as if he could do anything to you, you didn’t dress up to weigh the pros and cons. You downed the rest of your fruity drink and nodded, relinquishing yourself to whatever ungodly fate awaited you.

“Atta girl,” He took one hand while his friend took your other and gently led you away from the bar, “we’re gonna have so much fun with you tonight sweetie.” It was like micro-dosing danger. Every smile and laugh having some sinister undertone.

But god was it fun.

🌹 🌷 🌹

You got the hang of dancing in clubs a few years ago, it wasn’t hard, it didn’t take any special skill. You just needed to know what to do with your hips and hands.

Which you were currently struggling to do.

You’d danced with other men before, but mostly one at a time, never quite….like this.

You had your back against baji, his hands were on your hips to guide you. He was guiding you to sway against him, every so often pressing his hardon against your ass. one of your arms were up and behind you, wrapped around his neck to keep him close. Your other arm was front of you, draped over the shoulder of his more reserved friend (who you still had to get a name from), whom was doing things that contradicted the cool demeanor he gave off. He was pressed as close as he could be, his pelvis pushed against yours so you got a good idea of the fun he was having. Even if he didn’t do the best job of showing it. He was so close his nose would brush yours every so often and you expected him to kiss, but he didn’t. His hands were at your waist, holding a little tighter than expected, as if he were giving your exposed flesh squeezes here and there.

Something about this felt so shamelessly erotic.

You were so wrapped up that you didn’t give a thought to your friend who had gone to the bathroom, she probably had seen you by now and didn’t want to interrupt. You felt so transfixed on the green eyes infront of you and the hands sliding down your waist to your thighs and pulling up the edges of your skirt-

“Shhh don’t make a scene-“ you had seized up but Baji’s guiding hands kept you moving, “you like this don’t you?” It was his friend, his voice was much firmer, “That’s why you’re here, like this, between us. You want it.” His hand was under your skirt and sliding up up up. So fucking slow that you shifted just to get his hand between your legs faster. Just as his fingers brushed the forming wet spot on your panties, you could hear baji laugh against your neck on the other side of you.

“How the fuck are you so good at spotting the good ones chifuyu” was that his name? A man had his fingers pressed against your clit and you’re just now learning his name?

“Eh? What do you mean so good?” He shot back, his hand was in your panties, rubbing and petting at your clit while having a normal conversation as if you weren’t between them.

“Look at her!” You moaned and grinded against chifuyus hand, doing your best to make them focus on you again, “Perfect size to split between us and such a cute cheeks!” One of baji’s hands came up and pinched your cheek for emphasis.

“Do you honestly believe that every decision i make is backed by some deep analysis?” He laughed, “I guessed!” You arched as two fingers slid inside of you and curled, any noise you made was cut off by chifuyu kissing you. His kiss was desperate. The fingers inside you moved, slowly and carefully- god his tongue was inside your mouth now and you were suffocating but your head was absolutely floating. It was just so hard to keep focus on your surroundings. So many sensations- you could feel slick beginning to coat your thighs as his hand moved faster and you got sloppier. When he pulled away your lipstick was smeared on his mouth and there was a hazy look in his eyes. He buried his face against your neck on one side and baji was on the other. Chifuyu hand was between your legs and one of bajis hands had found it’s way under your shirt and was giving your nipple an unforgiving pull and twist. You three were pressed so close together that no one could really figure out what was happening, not that anyone was going to stop it.

They owned the bar after all.

Chifuyu tilted his hand and when his thumb brushed your clit your legs wobbled and baji had to focus on keeping you upright against him. Chifuyu smiled and laughed, the first you’d seen tonight, and you felt embarassed all over again.

“Hey! Don’t go falling apart on us sweet heart, we aren’t even close to being done with you yet.” Baji was encouraging you and the whine you let out only encouraged him tenfold.

Rather than fight against the waves and risk drowning, you went with the flow and closed your eyes and relaxed into them. You’d never had such a lavish experience of having two pretty boys give you attention like this. It was way past overstimulating but not in a bad way, you’d worry about that in the morning. Right now you your moans were escalating with the music. When said music began to dip but your voice didn’t follow suit, one of bajis hands wrapped tightly around your mouth while chifuyu increased pace.

“Thaaats it,” chifuyu whispered into your neck, “Make a mess for me.”

“You might wanna hold on tight girlie,” Baji mocked, “He overachieves.” You moved your arms so both of them were wrapped around chifuyu.

You had never been more thankful for loud ass music more than now. Had it not been for whatever club mix was on, everyone would hear the sloppy wet lewd noises of the three fingers that were buried inside of you. Any words or pleas you voiced were muffled and baji took on the sole responsibility of holding you up while chifuyu gladly drove you to climax.

They were both so goddamn obscene in their own right. Not only did they casually whisper conversation to eachother about all the wonderful things you three could get up to together, but they each had individual plans for you. Baji wanted to try having you all to himself for a day to see what other kinds of clothes he could put you in and then rip off of you. Chifuyu mentioned something about ‘giving support’ under his desk while he had stressful days at work. Baji definitely agreed with that and had the fucking drive to ask what you felt like inside.

“Inside? Like heaven.” Chifuyu made it sound like a sin, “She’s so slippery and soft.” Stop stop stop! “What about her mouth?” As if on unspoken command, baji shoved two fingers right into your mouth and pet at your tongue. You drooled so easily and licked without hesitation.

“She’s already drooling,” He shoved his fingers deeper, he did it so fast you gaged and coughed, “Gag reflex? We can fix that sweetheart.” Danger alarms began to fire off in your head, unfortunately they went ignored in lieu of the heat in your lower stomach. You were so close and desperate you just let them carry on, anything to keep the fingers inside of you.

Your whole body seized up when you came and you were truly astonished you didn’t blackout completely. They laughed in amazement at the sight of your eyes rolling back and the way you arched. You were putty in their hands, laying limp back against baji but still holding onto chifuyu.

Maybe going out wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

[eviltiddyproductions]

weird that either I’m down bad for the chemistry of the leads in season 2 or the writing because I rooted for them so hard.

Alchemy of Souls season 2 is kinda rare that way for me because I swear I was ready to throw the whole show away when I saw the finale of season 1. 💀✋

I’m kinda still trying to work my feelings about this show because it refuses to leave my head. Hindsight is 20/20 so I guess now I tire of the season 1 flow a little harder because to me, not enough romance and fluff. I felt it while watching it but my dumbass had thought that the last 3-4 episodes we’d get domestic. 🤩 (LMAOOOO)

on the contrary we got domestic real fast in season 2 and I guess because at my core I’m a romance starved girly I enjoyed it a bit more. Uk and Dangu did a lot to bring humour to the show in season 1 but Jin Buyeon just made everything light. Her interactions with almost everyone on the show were just light and happy and bright. She had literally no reason to be on her toes expect of her mom and no one had any reason to be anything around her because she was already married and very much not a threat.

I want ‘as you can see my beauty is unmatched but I’m not very bright’ framed in my house.

honestly a part of me pined for her and Yul for half a second, even if it meant her saying that she’d get him those pine biscuits next time. begging for crumbs of happiness for my man 😭💔

I think I’m still coping with the character loss a little because it happened like a flash flood like it happened SO FAST lol.

Honestly I haven’t watched a lot of Kdramas so I was surprised that Naksu coming back to life wasn’t anticipated in the last 2 episode. But I’ve learnt a bit more about the creators and we won lol. I had expected it like the ending of season 1 the moment she got possessed. (Like ofc you’d do that to me 😭)

anyway maybe I am coming around to the ending which makes complete sense except to me the transition happened quick and everything after that happened quicker and to be honest they were doing SO MUCH in the last 2 episodes that I just didn’t have time to ponder.

Naksu is Jin Buyeon so she is the happy girl that I’ve loved for 8 episodes so idk I’m mourning her character like she’s right there 💀💀💀 I guess because her character once again became burdened by all she’d done and gone through and became somber I for a minute became a hater.

I’m coming around to it. And at the same time being a little salty because I love the idea of people falling in love again. Even if they had decided that she wouldn’t have been Naksu. Like in Season 1 where our girl was full on using Mudeok’s body and just stayed. I wouldn’t have really mind if they went with that. That she’d always be this cute lil ball of sunshine. But it is unfair to keep this from both of them so I get it.

I guess if they eased into her identity reveal and gave them and me 5 more minutes I’d get to celebrate 🎉 their reunion.

good for them though! fighting relics together ❣️

I just looked up and realised how much I have written- on top of the 17 posts I’ve already written about this LMAO why am I like this 😭 need to find a new thing to latch onto fast like what is this babe

[cupid-styles]

okay it's time for love problems. i see you as some kind of love guru so i'm gonna tell you my problem hehe 😅 i had a crush on a guy for soooo long and it never happened anything. he was flirting with me(I guessss 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️) , like he was always checking me out and he was always sitting beside on the campus and his friends knew me even though we were never hanging out together. And I liked him because he was shy and introvert (it's my type what can I say) and I liked that he had always his attention on me. But he never tried anything more. We talked once and he told me he never says the things he wants to say and after that he never talked to me again. And now we don't see each other because we graduated from college and we don't talk but I am kind of thinking about it again because I was informed that he just got out from a relationship and idk I guess because we never did something, it bothers me. I think the thing that bothers me the most is that he never told me that he liked me. Anyway sorry for the long ass message I just wanted to get it out of my system.

NOT THE LOVE GURU hahaha you guys are so cute :(( im simply just a girly! im not sure if its helpful to hear my experience but I've been in a similar situation before!!

answer under the cut in case it gets long :)

ok so basically I was seeing this person on and off for a decent amount of time but we never got the timing right or we were never really serious about it. when we weren't talking to each other, I never knew if they still had a thing for me so it was always very up in the air. we started talking again more regularly right after I broke up with a longterm partner — in hindsight, neither of us were in the right place to start things up w one another but that's besides the point!! anyway I felt that my feelings were growing for them and I was just finally at a point where I was tired of waiting and stressing myself out trying to figure out if this was happening or not. it bothered me A LOT. like it consumed me, basically. so I was like fuck it I need to grow a pair and just talk to them and be like hey what's going on??

SO I did that. I told them that I had feelings for them and I'm not trying to ruin our friendship and it's fine if they don't feel the same way, but basically I just want to be on the same page. they didn't return the feelings, which is absolutely fine because I felt an INSANE weight lifted off my shoulders the second we talked things out. as soon as I knew where we stood, I was like ok! that's fine, thank you for being honest! moving on! we remained friends after that and things didn't work out but it felt INCREDIBLE to take things into my own hands instead of just allowing it to slowly drive me nuts

I'm not saying you have to do that especially if you're not comfortable w it but sometimes it's just a massive relief to put an end to the wondering and figure things out, ya know? if you really want to, I would say take the chance and message him, see where he is in life, and see if the chemistry is still there! I promise you what's meant to be will be

(side note: even tho we didn't end up getting together, I ended up meeting my current partner a few months later so I truly believe things happen for a reason!! I would have never ended up w my person if I was dating that other person.)

[sailorsally]

I have had kind of the same situation With a best friend and then a childhood friend. Who both times i was the one who ended it. The childhood friend was not giving me anything and in the end we where only friends beacuse we had know each other since we where kids. The other who was my best friend is a sore spot and still are. Its been 15 years since That friendship ended.. and i still think of them. But i can say im glad the childhood friend is no longer my friend, beacuse now she has like 5 kids and is part of a pyramid scheme and selling sand water With her husband…

Oh I am sorry you went thru this. For me it was the most painful breakup of my life. I was 22 at that time and had just moved back to my country after I dropped out of uni abroad and was severely depressed, it was summer and me and her literally spent the whole time planning our upcoming year and what we'd do and where we'd go, we were isneparable! and come september she tells me she's actually moving to study in the same country I had just left and that her flight leaves in 24 hours..... I have never felt more betrayed in my life. Obviously this wasn't a quick decision, so she had led me on for months. Let me plan and imagine our future together while she had plans to leave. It devastated me so badly, I cried for 3 days straight. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. It was a miserable time.

I was no contact with her for 3 years, spoke and saw her a couple of times since, once at her wedding. She was tereibky jealous and rude to my friends once, other times she messaged me offering to 'help me and set me up with a friend of her foreigner husband' (as if this was ever something I wanted lol) or countless advice on how to live my life in general. Mind you at this point we wouldn't even do much beyond exchanging pleasantries twice a year (usually on our birthdays). She didn't know me anymore and tbh from what she was saying she never knew me well at all. This realisation has given me a lot of peace. We had been pretty much inseparable for 12 years, but these were school years where we saw each other every day by default.

To be honest, I wouldn't even approach her to be my friend now as an adult. For a while she would randomly send me photos from our childhood saying how she misses "those times". Looking at those photos I don't get sad but I don't miss those times either. It happened and it was all good, I don't hate how things were. It's just I am not the same person anymore and that is how it's supposed to be. I am ok with being me.

This happened 13 years ago and you can see how well I'm handling it atm. It's just I know all these things on a rational level but on an emotional level it still makes me feel abandoned and that's why I don't wanna hear anything about her

I have ended one other relationship after this, it wasn't as painful as this but at some point you just get tired of always being the accommodating friend you know? Sometimes you wanna be accommodated for once as well. And it didn't happen so the sulky child in me that day stomped her foot down and says 'I am no longer friends with this person!' and honestly I think that was for the best.

My favourite way to end a friendship was this one time in middle school when I had a best friend and then we had summer break and when we came back the next year she was all girly and wanted to talk about boys and I was still a tomboy and wanted to play football and kick boys so we kinda naturally drifted apart in the comming weeks? There was nothing dramatic about it, we were very friendly towards each other before she moved to another school years later.

Generally I think you always gotta look forward, what happened brought you here and made you this person, what matters is what you will do next. People change. If you can be lifelong friends while also feeling like you can be yourself with them, that is great but sometimes people change in ways that aren't compatible anymore and you gotta move on. It hurts a lot to lose friends you grew up with because in comparison to adult friends, they feel more like a part of you, probably because you had a lot of first experiences together as kids which is a rarity in adult friendships. But eh, it is what it is. You will hurt someone, someone will hurt you, you will feel pain, or worse - won't feel any. That's life.

[dismantledandrearranged]

15 sept 2022

In 7th grade, that may have been when R moved for the first time(first out of the city, then 1 or 2 yrs later across the country). R never went to the same school as me, but N always was in school with me. I stopped hanging out with N at the end of 6th grade. In 7th grade, I started hanging out with the two girls H and S, H I knew from young elementary school. And I hung out with C and A and L, who were in a completely different friend group. I think I met them in Algebra. A was quite girly, and she was the first friend I had who would date guys. I had a friend named S who I thought was talking behind my back about my friends talking shit, so I threw gas on the fire an uninvited her to my Halloween party in front of my friends. I felt awful bc she was crying to her mom later about it and how I called her a bitch and my mom talked to me about it. I was trying to set a boundary, and I thought it was okay to do a well intentioned thing in a bitchy manor, because what she did makes it okay. And because everyone else is a bitch especially in middle school. When is one bitchy thing wrong and one is dismissed? Did her mom know she was talking shit on my friends? But then again was my friend lying? Middle school is wild lol. I guess I was going on this tangent because I after R moved away, and that sense of true raw childhood play is comepletely gone, I knew. Friendship would be different. I had no idea what it was supposed to look like. What do people talk about if they aren't making up stuff? Thinking up really interesting and perplexing stuff? What the fuck do people spend the majority of their lives communicating with someone about ????? And honest to fucking god that question I still ask myself to this day. How the hell do people make friends? What do y'all talk about after you are acquaintances, after you know the basics, but you are not close enough to just come over and get stoned and stay up late acting like goofballs in the kitchen? But especially romantically. It's been so long since I have been in love and it fucking breaks my heart how scary it is to imagine the reality of dating and getting to know someone and falling in love, but i want it so fucking badly. I miss it, and I feel much more ready, much more accepting of the fear. My First relationship absolutely fucked me UP, shattered me into a fine dust, and I've been here in the 4-5years since putting every fucking piece back together. But I will take a moment to acknowledge my growth and give myself a huge round of applause. I am afraid of love, but I more afraid of letting the fear consume me, of letting it win. I am mad. I want it back. I want that part of myself back, it belongs to me. I am mad because my peace and trust was ripped away, and I am redefining what those mean for myself and recreating them for myself. I trust I can take care of myself. I've done it for this long, and I have proven to myself my strength over and over aain. I am an unstoppable force, and I believe it. I know what I can handle, but I am tired of having to handle shit that is unnecessary. Heal from unecessary pain. I Also do not need to hurt myself by isolating myself, keeping people at a distance because it feels safe. How do I just relax? Breathe slow down, and just release and be, unwind. How? I can do those things but everything is blank and i feel through my thoughts, not my heart. I try to remember and act on what I know about my emotions and my heart, but how the fuck do I actually act on my heart says when my heart is so scared she leaves the room. I am so sick of being scared. So fucking sick of being scared. I was obsessed years ago with healing and healing and therapy and HEALING and it added to the pain in it's own way. Then I dated again and it feels so empty. Which is what brings me here. What is love? How do I know if im in love, when I can't trust that feeling, it always fizzles out once I get with them, ever since my first ex J. I want to trust the love I feel for someone.

[positivelyholland]

hey girlie i saw that u write tom holland x sister!reader. can you do an angst one with that pairing? idc what, just angst lol tysm ❤️

Pairing: Tom Holland x sister!reader, holland brothers x reader

genre: angst

warnings: mean brothers, like one swear

summary: you hear your brothers talking about you behind your back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the youngest Holland, and the only girl (other than Nikki, of course), you’re naturally the favorite. Both your parents’ favorite, and all of your brothers’ favorite. You and your brothers are all really close to each other, despite the age gaps.

Your older brother, Tom, had just gotten home after a 3 month trip, so he, Harry, Sam, and Paddy were all up in Paddy’s room, catching up with Tom. But you, however, you had just gotten home from being at school all day, and you were ecstatic to finally see your eldest brother again.

“Hey Y/N, how was school?” your mother asked you as you walked through the door.

“It was good, and I’d love to tell you all about it, but I wanna go see Tom” you replied. This made Nikki laugh.

“Ok darling, I think they’re up in Paddy’s room” she said while handing you your after school snack.

“Thanks, Mom” your voice was fading away as you hurried up the stairs to your brother’s room, you were so excited to see Tom that you tripped while walking up the stairs. As you stood back up, you thought you heard your name followed by a bunch of laughs coming from Paddy’s room.

Curious, you decided to wait outside the door, and listen to what they were saying about you, thinking it would boost your ego a little because of their favoritism towards you.

“She’s just so clingy, it was honestly so nice having a break from her for 3 months” at the sound of Tom’s words, your heart shattered, but you kept listening.

“Yeah haha, she’s a lot, almost too much, I don’t know how her friends put up with her” Harry replied. This is what caused tears that you didn’t know had been building up in your eyes to start falling.

If you’re being honest, you didn’t have any friends. You had been told by ex-friends that you were too much for them to handle. They would also tell you that if you ever wanted people to like you, that you can’t be yourself.

While all those words do hurt, they never bothered you as much as they should have because of the fact that you knew your family loved your personality. Yeah, you can be a little extra at times, but your family, especially your brothers, would assure you saying that’s their favorite thing about you. But you guess that's just not the case.

“Sometimes I have to lock myself in my room to hide from her begging me to spend time with her, because I can really only stand her for so long,” another one of your brother’s said. You were too heartbroken to try to understand who’s voice that was.

You eventually decided to go to your room. You didn’t want to hear any more of your brothers’ shit, and if you stayed there any longer, they would’ve heard your soft cries.

Once you opened the door to your room, you went to your bed and sobbed. You were quiet, and you made sure that no one could hear your broken cries. You had so many questions running through your head on why they would say that.

Am I really that bad?

Why do they hate me?

Why can’t I just be a good sister?

How long have they thought this?

Why do I have to be like this?

What’s wrong with me?

As your tears slowed, you decided you should probably leave your room, as it would be suspicious for you to be in there for so long. So, you freshened up. You wiped off all your tears, applied new mascara, brushed through your hair, and put a convincing fake smile on your face.

“Look who finally woke up!” you heard Tom say. Yeah, I was totally napping in there.

“Sorry, school was just extra exhausting today and I needed some rest” you surprise yourself with the excuse you made up on the spot.

“Too tired to even give your brother that you haven’t seen in months a hug?” he joked.

He’s an actor. You remembered. That’s why I believe he can actually tolerate me.

“Sorry” was all you said. He decided he wouldn’t wait for you to come to him so he walked up to you, before pulling you into his embrace.

You tensed at his gesture. He was hugging you not even an hour after he was saying how much he hated you.

This did not go unnoticed by Tom. He thought it was weird that you tensed up in his touch. Usually, if the two of you didn’t see each other for a while, there were lots of hugs exchanged. He just told himself that you were probably stressed. You did say that you had a rough day at school.

“I have some homework to do, call me down for dinner please” you said, breaking the awkward silence.

“Homework, on a weekend?” your mom questioned.

“Yeah, Mrs Brown is evil” you told her before walking back up to your room where you had just barely spent a little under an hour crying in. Before anyone could say anything else, you shut your door and pulled the school sheet out of your backpack.

As you went to sit down at the desk that’s in your room, something caught your eye. It was a framed photo of you and all of your brothers. This used to bring you comfort when you needed it, but now the sight of it just made your heart ache.

You quickly snapped out of your stare on the picture, and got to work on your assignment.

The assignment was finished within half an hour, but you didn’t feel like seeing any of your brothers after hearing their true thoughts on you.

So, you decided you’d lay in bed and actually take a nap. You cringed at the tear stains on your pillow, but the second you laid down, you were out cold.

You awoke to Sam aggressively shaking you, saying that it’s dinner time.

You quickly got out of your bed. Not because you were actually awake, but because you felt physically sick at the words you were reminded of, that had come out of the person currently shaking you’s mouth, just a few hours earlier.

Once again, this didn’t go unnoticed by Sam. You usually took at least 20 minutes to get out of bed. But, like Tom, he dismissed the thought that anything was wrong.

All of dinner, you sat at your spot at the dining table silently, instead of talking non-stop like you normally did. You didn’t feel like eating. All the crying you’d been doing wore you out, and you also just wanted out of the situation ASAP.

After about 10 minutes, you stood up, put your plate in the dishwasher, and started to head back up to your room. But, you were stopped at the sound of Harry’s voice.

“Are you ok, Y/N?” he said. The words terrified you, so you froze. There was no way you’re telling everyone that you overheard what they said about you. “Are you sick or something? You’ve basically slept all day and I haven’t seen you eat anything since you got home from school”

You felt relief spread throughout you. They think you're sick, not devastated like what you’re actually feeling.

“No, I don’t think so, just tired” you didn’t want anyone to worry about you being sick. Then they would try to take care of you, which you didn’t like the thought of, you just wanted to be alone.

Again, your family thought this was very weird. It was so unusual of you to be quiet and secluded. This time however, they did not ignore it. After you were out of earshot, Tom spoke up.

“She’s been acting weird all day. She didn’t come say hi to me when she got home from school, and her body tightened up when I hugged her” he told his family.

“I agree,” Sam added. “When I went to wake her up, she stood up really fast the second she saw me. She almost seemed defensive towards me” he thought out loud.

“I’ll go check on her,” Tom said as he stood up and started heading towards your room. As he got closer, he heard muffled sobs coming from inside your room. So something is wrong, he thought to himself.

He was surprised when the door to your room was unlocked. You usually kept it locked for privacy. As he opened it, the sight he saw broke him.

You were curled up on your bed, shaking furiously as you sobbed. He could tell that your cries were being quieted from what they would’ve been if you were truly alone, so he knew that this meant you were trying to keep this secretive.

He walked towards your bed, but then he saw something in your hand that made him very confused. It was the picture of all of the Holland siblings, and you were looking at it while crying. He knew that this object brought you comfort, so he just thought that you were using it to help calm you down. But that theory was shattered when he heard what you were whispering between cries.

“What did I do to you? Do you really hate me? I know I’m terrible” you said as if you were talking to the pictures.

You were so caught up in your emotions that you didn’t hear the door open, or Tom’s footsteps, and you didn’t sense him being in the room like you normally do.

“What’s wrong, and don’t lie to me” he said, making his presence known to you. You looked up at him like a deer caught in headlights. You just looked at him shocked, hurt. But then you just turned your back to the other side of the bed, where he couldn’t see your face.

You were so embarrassed, you hated when people saw you cry, and the last person you wanted to see you crying was the person that had caused your tears.

“I’m gonna ask you again, what’s wrong Y/N?” His voice was stern, and you were so emotional in the moment that you were scared of him, so you hesitantly answered him.

“Go away, why do you care anyway?” you said. This pissed him off. He was just trying to care for you, and you were being difficult.

“I do care, that’s why I’m here. Now tell me, what’s wrong?” he sounded so mad, so you told him.

“No, you’re only pretending to care! Just like how you pretend to tolerate me!” you yelled. He was so confused, what could possibly make you think this?

“What?” he simply stated.

“Don’t play dumb now, Tom! I heard what you said about me! And not just you, but Harry and Sam too!” This made him have an idea of what could be bothering you. But he wasn’t sure, so he kept asking before he jumped to conclusions.

“Did you hear us say something earlier today?” he questioned, but he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

“Yes! And you know exactly what you did, SO GO AWAY!” you exclaimed. How was he supposed to justify what he said? He can’t. So, it’d be better if he leaves instead of trying.

Then Tom said something unexpected.

“I’m sorry about what you heard. I didn’t mean it to sound the way it did.” he told you, but that didn’t help anything.

“Sure, you didn’t mean it” you said sarcastically.

“No, I didn’t. And I’m pretty sure you didn’t hear the part where we said amazing things about you and talked about how great you are, am I right?” he was right, you just didn’t want to admit it.

“No” you said shyly

“I know that doesn’t completely justify what I said, because what I said was not okay. But, I hope it helps” he told you honestly. It did help if you were being honest, but that was just Tom’s apology, and you deserved one from every single one of your brothers.

“Ok, thanks for your apology, but I’m not going to forgive you yet” you told him calmly.

Tom assumed you weren’t going to just let go of things so easily since he probably wouldn’t forgive himself if the roles were reversed. So, he decided he’d go tell the others about the situation.

After he finished explaining everything to the rest of your family, everyone felt strong feelings about the circumstance. Nikki was pissed at her sons for saying those things. Dom was infuriated that they hurt his little girl. Sam, Harry, and Paddy felt just as guilty as Tom, so they went to your room as quickly as they could to apologize.

While the apologies did help, you were still hurt. So Harry proposed they made it up to you with a movie night. So that’s what you guys did.

They let you pick the movie, and you could tell your brothers were genuinely sorry, and that they didn’t mean what they said. You could tell that they did actually love you, so you spoke up as soon as the credits started rolling.

“I forgive you guys” you spoke up.

Everything was alright, and never again did you doubt your brothers’ love for you.

[uwusenpaiuwu]

Sleepovers At The Baji Household feat. A Fed-Up Chifuyu

Summary: Chifuyu just wants to sleep, man, but Baji wants to be a jealous crackhead at 2 AM.

Pairing: Sano Manjiro | Mikey x Male Reader

Note(s): I had a little free time and wrote this. So, please enjoy! ALSO, to the anon that sent me a request a few days ago, I saw it and have it filed on my to-do list!!! I will definitely get to it as soon as I get a break in my schedule :)

"Chifuyu, ya wanna see some real discrimination?"

No. No, Chifuyu does not want to see what Baji means by 'real discrimination.'

Does he tell him that, though?

Yes, actually, because it's 2 in the fucking morning and, as much as he respects the other boy, he wouldn't put it past himself to smother him with a pillow after having his dream of cuddling with a sea of puppies suddenly destroyed.

Unfortunately for his sanity, Baji either doesn't hear him or, more likely than not, doesn't give a fuck, because he's already flopping onto his belly and whipping out his phone to do God knows what.

The dial tone that sounds from the speaker a few seconds later makes Chifuyu cringe, especially since it's only ever been a calm silence fit for a good night's sleep prior to Baji bulldozing through it with his absurd question. (At the very least, he's thankful that the latter has half a mind to keep the brightness on the lowest setting, otherwise, Chifuyu would have had to fight.)

On the far end of the row of carefully-laid futons, you shift in your sleep, eyebrows furrowing together at the noise. Rotating onto your side, you unconsciously reach for Baji, and just when he thinks you're being cute and trying to cuddle him, you smack him in the head.

Baji doesn't flinch, instead, takes his pillow and shoves it in your grasp to keep your unconscious self occupied, so that he can focus on getting through to the person who reuses to pick up (understandably so).

Releasing a frustrated groan after being redirected to voice mail for the fifth time, he dials the number again, muttering an impatient, "Pick up already."

Chifuyu feels sorry for the poor soul on the other end. He would've blocked someone following the first call, because again, it's-

The blond has to squint his eyes up at the digital clock on Baji's nightstand, which confirms that it's already 2:22 A.M, further solidifying the fact that he shouldn't be awake right now. And this also applies to the ever persistent first division captain, who insists on bothering who Chifuyu soon discovers is Mikey from the contact ID that flashes across the screen.

Why Baji is so keen on bothering him is a question he doesn't have the mental capacity to ponder over. The most energy he'll expend is to listen in when the call miraculously connects.

"What...?" comes a muffled voice from the receiver, tone laced in an irked grogginess birthed from a slumber rudely interrupted.

There's an absurdly loud, almost angry, roar of Mikey's name, one that has Chifuyu curling in on himself in a futile attempt to escape a sound that should be illegal at this hour.

But you know what else should be illegal?

The fucking whiplash Chifuyu gets when Baji's deep voice takes an abrupt 180°, switching from its normal gruffness to a squeaky, ear-piercing shrill as he screams, "I love you, love you, love you! Do you love me, too, Mikey-kyun~♡?!"

The room is dead silent.

Not a word. Not a murmur. Not a breath.

Just pure, unadulterated silence as both Chifuyu and Mikey process the words that hang in the air, permeating it with a goosebumps-inducing eeriness from having heard such a...a girly, overtly cutesy screech from Baji.

Then-

"What the fuck? He hung on me!"

Chifuyu opens his mouth, thinks better of reacting to the cursed scene he had the misfortune of bearing witness to, and promptly closes it.

Other people may have sleep paralysis demons.

But Chifuyu?

Chifuyu has Baji.

With both hands partially raised in prayer, he begs for the shenanigans to be over and done with.

They are not.

While his eyes remain closed in a last ditch effort to convince himself that it's all a bad dream, he hears a lot of grumbling happening on your side of the room, courtesy of Baji, who's scrambling around in search of...something. One quick peek reveals him fiddling with a phone - yours, to be exact, as evidenced by the distinctive phone charm of your favorite anime character hanging from it.

"(Y/n), wake up for a second," he hears him whisper. It takes a bit of prompting, until he's able to successfully rouse you enough from sleep to elicit any kind of response, which is, essentially, nothing short of an incoherent, slurred mess. Although, Chifuyu is pretty damn certain he heard you call Baji a 'dickhead' for the trouble.

Unperturbed, he continues shaking your limp form, coaxing you into wakefulness with, "Repeat what I tell you, and I'll let you go back to asleep. Deal?"

You squint your eyes at him, only able to make out a vague outline of his visage in the lightless room. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to die," he automatically responds with the same phrase he's become accustomed to saying whenever you two made a promise, something done purely out of habit, formed when the two of you were just kids and he wanted to get you to do something absolutely ridiculous either for him or with him. And just 'cause he knows you're more susceptible to complying if he does it, he also interlocks his pinky with yours.

"...Fine."

The approval is his cue to proceed, and it's as he's putting the phone on speaker that he turns back to a regretfully wide awake Chifuyu, mouthing a wordless, 'Watch.'

The phone rings, loud and clear, precisely once and only once.

"(Y/n), what's wrong?" It's important to note that even though Mikey still sounds tired as hell, his tone is much lighter, much happier really, than when it was Baji, which is an offense in itself to the said teen that's off to the side, attentively listening to the conversation unfold.

Then, it strikes Chifuyu, what Baji is trying to do, and fuck does it give him an instant headache.

Meanwhile, your mouth morphs into the dopiest of smiles with the pleasant surprise of hearing your boyfriend's voice, chest instantly overtaken by a warm fuzziness that never fails to make an appearance whenever he's involved. Sappy, you know, but it's true!

A light but firm nudge to your shoulder reminds you of your mission. It's too bad that, teetering along the edge of sleep as you are, the words Baji whispers are barely repeated correctly.

The initial phrase from before, the one Baji greeted Mikey with, is shortened to a simple, "You wuv I...?"

But, without missing a beat, you receive Mikey's confident reply of, "Mhm... I wuv you a lot."

There's a sleepy giggle then - a fucking giggle - before your voices drop to sweet whispers that the third and fourth wheels can't fully comprehend from where they are.

"Where the fuck was my 'I wuv you,' huh?!" Baji whisper-shouts, considerate of your conversation even when ranting and raving. "Shit, I would've taken a simple 'I love you,' too! I've known that bastard way longer than (Y/n), and this is what I get?!"

Okay. Toman's president answers his boyfriend's late night calls faster than he does anyone else's and openly expresses his love for him. So what? Chifuyu wouldn't exactly call it 'discrimination,' per se. 'Favoritism,' maybe if you wanna stretch it, but using as strong a word as discrimination, especially taking into account you two are dating; it's normal? Nah.

"You wanna say 'bye' to them? Mm. Baji and Chifuyu." A pause. "Fuyu, Mikey says 'bye.'"

"Bye, Mikey-kun."

The other person in the room waits, and waits, and waits, and when it's clear that there is no intention to address his presence whatsoever, Baji turns to Chifuyu with an almost scandalized expression, making wild gesticulations with his hands, clearly distressed. "See?!"

Blank blue eyes stare back at him, unblinking. Honestly, it's a common occurrence - Baji spiraling in a nonsensical rage - so it's easy for Chifuyu to block out the muted, jealousy-driven temper tantrum as he takes his pillow in both hands, raises it as high as he can, and-

Sigh.

-lets it flop right back onto his face.

He can't suffocate Baji. Shouldn't. Wouldn't. Couldn't. After all, they're best buds, meaning he has an obligation to put up with shit like this once in a while. (Plus, he'd probably get his ass kicked before he succeeds anyway. Totally not worth the beating.)

"Did you hear? Mikey said he wuvs me," he hears you drawl dreamily as soon as you hang up, sounding very close to clocking back out for the night.

"Yeah, yeah. Cute shit. Happy for ya, dude," Baji huffs. Thankfully, he sounds like he's in a similar state to yours, if the yawn that follows his sarcastic comment is anything to go by.

"...He soooo ignored you."

That warrants a punishing punch to the arm, dulled only slightly by the combination of the thick quilt you're swaddled in and the raven-haired boy's fatigue.

"I'll fucking throw you out right now, (Y/n). Don't test me."

"You won't."

"I will."

"Won't."

"Will."

The conversation gradually dies down shortly after, the exhaustion that took its sweet time getting to both of you having reached its peak with the help of the childish bickering. It takes 10 minutes, maybe 15, before two sets of light snores fill the room.

Finally.

Let it be known that there is a lesson to be learned from tonight's events. Really, there is. Y'know, something along the lines of 'Don't agree to a sleepover with Baji, if you plan on actually sleeping,' or whatever.

Alas, Chifuyu's consciousness fades before he realizes what it is.

~~~

"Mikey, be honest. Who do you love more? Me or-?"

"(Y/n)."

"But-"

(Y/n)."

"I-"

"(Y/n)."

Baji is only momentarily discouraged, sharp eyes glaring at the blond that lays his head on your lap after hi-fiving you. He didn't want to do this, but he's left with no choice.

"(Y/n) or Babu?"

From the way Mikey stiffens up, refusing to look at either him or you in the eyes, Baji knows he has him right where he wants him, has him torn between a cute face or a sweet ride.

"Oi! Don't pretend to be asleep! Answer the damn question! OI!"

(After hours of serious contemplation - even though you told him it doesn't particularly matter - it's revealed that, of course, Mikey loves you more. Babu just happens to trail behind as a very close second.)

[drymbp]

jisoo as your girlfriend hc

How you met <3

sundays are meant to be spent in your room, while playing games, and having snacks. that's what jisoo's idea was.

but rosé had other plans. she wanted to check this dog café across han river, to buy her hankie boy some toys and treats.

jisoo had every right to say no, but the puppy eyes she had gotten from the latter had made it difficult for her to say no. resulting in her standing outside fur house.

however, looking right through the glass, she spotted you talking to kids, with a kind smile, probably about the puppy they were holding.

the more she kept looking at you, the more she felt this warm feeling.

and she wanted nothing but to get to know you better.

on the other side, you didn't know what fate had in store for you.

upon the bell chiming, you walked towards the door to greet your customers, but instead felt your eyes gravitate towards this certain brunette, kim jisoo.

How you became friends <3

jisoo knew she wanted to be more than friends with you, and she made it clear.

whenever rosé wasn't paying attention, she would stare at you, and would send you a smile everytime you caught her eyes.

to be honest, you were intimidated by her at first, but she had turned out to be the most humane human being you've ever met.

so when they had to leave, she had walked up to you with a sly smile.

"you like dogs, i like dogs, i think we're a paw-fect match."

a dumbfounded smile made it's way to your face as you examined the beauty, for any trace of humor. finding none, you nodded your head.

"so how about we bond over puppy love? there's a really good café across my company."

"only if I get your number in return, turtle rabbit kim."

What being friends with her is like <3

the both of you decided to not pursue a relationship. it just didn't cross y'alls mind once you got to know each other.

you guys are best friends who sometimes flirt.

random 3 am gaming battles is a must. nobody can stop gamer jisoo.

when you beat her ass in the game, she gets all sulky that you end up buying ice-creams for her.

y'all go out once a week, and have korean street food, it may be hard with jisoo's schedules, but she always makes time for you.

she has her soft side reserved only for you.

remember how she gets mad when the members disturb her when she's balancing the bottle on her head?

let's just say you're her favorite.

sometimes you join her to see who's better at balancing.

she would do everything to make you smile, and hates to see you cry.

she's your go to place for advices, hugs and comfort.

doesn't mean you don't do the same, whenever blackpink's schedules get too hectic or when she feels overwhelmed, you stay by her side, and get her through it.

you guys don’t really fight, both of you are mature enough, and understanding.

even if it gets out of hand, you guys walk away from the fight and give each other some space and talk it out the next day.

random nicknames, she once called you eongdeong-i (엉덩이 - butt) for a few days until you threatened to throw away her gaming console.

you're her #1 fan, whenever blackpink has a concert, you end up fully dressed in jisoo's merch from head to toe.

jisoo loves it and you know that, even if she doesn't say it out loud.

you guys are the typical best friends who would do anything for the other, but would get all cringed while saying thanks.

The confession <3

you guys were watching riverdale, and everytime there was a kiss scene, you could feel jisoo looking at you, more precisely your lips.

Smirking at yourself, you turn around, now facing her. "You know, you could just ask me for a kiss." Jisoo stares at you with her mouth wide open, clearly surprised by your offer.

"I-You? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" She yells out loudly, making you go deaf in the process. You chuckle at her, while she takes in a deep breath, before asking for your consent one more time, "So, if I ask for a kiss, I'll get one?" You nod your head at her and scoot closer, thighs almost touching.

As you intertwine your fingers with hers, she closes her eyes anticipating the much-long awaited kiss.

"Took you long enough." You confess, before leaning in, and pressing your lips with hers in a gentle but full kiss.

What being girlfriends is like <3

the weird nicknames finally got promoted to jagi, love and baby.

likes calling you her girlfriend.

brags about you to everyone, even to lisa's cats.

y'all have each other's photos as wallpaper.

and an album which has meme worthy photos.

you guys have this weird challenge going on, to see who can click the most embarrassing photo.

oh! did I mention? jisoo loves wrist kisses, and does it often, and you get all shy, yet ask her to do it again because it's too soft.

would kiss you out of nowhere, this one day you were getting ready for a meeting, girlie came up, pulled you by your tie and pressed her lips onto yours. y'all kissed for a few more times, and you were late for the meeting.

loves holding you, hence the big spoon.

not much of a pda person, but likes having you near her, and if you're not around her, get ready to be attacked with cuddles later.

loves back hugs, especially when you're making dinner, she would come over and wrap her arms around your waist and just stand there with you.

doesn't stop gushing about how delicious your cooking is.

jokes about wanting to be your wife because of your cooking and you're like - where's the ring?

that gets her all excited, searches for the best ring, and promises to ask you out in a few years.

loves coming back to find you sleeping with dalgom. you guys fill her heart with so much love.

sends you random snaps of herself, or the place she’s at, including the trees.

you guys order chicken and just pull up an all nighter watching blackpink videos.

jisoo appreciation hours open.

you get all mushy when she speaks english.

you guys end up worn out by the next day. too tired to do anything, you guys order take out once again, and sleep the whole day.

unhealthy vibes.

after a long day, she’ll just fall right into your arms, and nestle her head into your neck.

your parents love her a lot, and often ask her about grandchildren.

and you're like - good god, shut up.

you buy her soft toys, since she tends to sleep with them when at dorms.

and she buys you souvenirs everytime she visits a country.

y'all don't get jealous with people.

jisoo gets jealous when you play with the dogs at the café and come home late.

and you get jealous when she practically ignores you because of a game.

but you guys make up with kisses and cuddles.

yet the next day, the same routine follows.

jkjk.

A/N : I decided to keep my headcanons this way, and I hope y'all like it this way. Thank you for taking your sweet time to read my work :)

[hajimeiwaswife]

THE WAY I LOVED YOU

Word count: 4,2K

Wanings: angst (but fluff, too)

Summary: You weren't over the love Childe provided you, even when you were engaged to Albedo years later.

A blue, pink and mauve sky garnished the surroundings of the Stormbearer Mountains. The summery breeze, warm as the light of the bright sun, comforted those who walked along the path of fallen leaves, wild flowers and the smell of mint. A beautiful landscape presented itself for sore eyes to see.

A certain Alchemist was working on his new masterpiece, relaxing under the few rays of light that came with dusk, painting the one he considered the most beautiful person to ever put a foot on Teyvat. Mixing the colours of nature, he portraited on the sketch book the view he had of his fiancée and the scenery, all of it worthy of a cheesy romance novel and a fantasy book.

"How much time do you need?" Y/N asked in a tired tone, trying not to shift her position, "I'm getting crumps on my face from smiling."

The man didn't answer at the moment, considering for a brief time her question and filling a space on the page that still needed his attention. At last, he looked at her and smiled at the image he had the honour of witnessing. The girl, dressed in a summer white and blue dress, was slightly pouting at the lack of talking from his part. Her hair danced with the wind and he thanked Barbatos for letting him see her golden locks fly around her face.

"Just a little more, my love," he answered, his attention shifting back to the drawing in front of him.

"You said that an hour ago," the girl sighed, putting a smile again on her face so she didn't disrupt her lover from painting her, "I thought you wanted to go see Sucrose before the sun came down. Oh! And also, you promised Klee you'd visit her."

He hummed, immersed in the way her features took a hardened expression when she tried to remember something that needed to be done. Brows furrowed and fore finger on her right cheek, she looked at him in search of a comment from the Alchemist.

"Albedo! Are you listening to me?"

"You're so beautiful." mumbled the man, lost in her and the blush that was forming on her visage.

Shameless and, at the same time, honest and shy. That was Albedo, the one she was engaged to. Such an honourable and good man, someone who loved her as much as the Sea loved its waves, as much as the birds loved the Wind, as much as a Dwelling loved the warmth of the fire. He gave her his everything and from the bottom of his own person, and she was grateful for it.

"I'm sorry" he promptly said, coughing on his palm to hide the evident embarrassment he felt, "It wasn't my intention to make you uncomfortable."

At that, she couldn't help but laugh. He was such a beautiful person, always searching her comfort and well-being before anyone else's, always taking care of her and looking for her. A pure soul, she would venture to affirm.

"Don't be silly, sweetheart," Y/N chuckled, positioning once again for him to portray her, "you know I love it when you compliment me. Now, c'mon, finish before the sun falls."

"As you wish."

One more hour of dirtying their hands in paint and observing the marvellous dusk that came upon them, they left to visit Sucrose, who was willing to tell Albedo about her advances in the research they both were working on.

"That's impressive, Sucrose," Albedo praised the girl, reading the documents and correcting those things he found could be improved.

Y/N turned off the conversation, not really interested in the depths of the Alchemy. She respected what the husband to be and her friend did for a life and she couldn't be prouder, but that didn't mean she wanted to hear the endless conversations about properties a flower could have.

After saying goodbye to the little Alchemist, they both headed to say hello to little Klee, who was mad at them for coming so late, it was already her time for bed and, as she said, 'We can't go bomb fishing!', followed by a 'Do you not love Klee?' Reassuring the little bomb crazy kid was more draining than she could imagine, but she did it for Albedo, nonetheless.

The afternoon turned into the late hours of the night, lilac sky was now dark and adorned with stars. The Alchemist had intertwined his fingers with Y/N's, sighing in content, allowing himself to relax at the warmth of her hand and the serenity reigning in Mondstadt.

"Maybe we should head home, you seem exhausted," commented Albedo after watching his fiancée yawn for the third time in ten minutes.

"That would be great, actually." Y/N yawned again, gaining a quiet chuckle from the man next to her.

No one talked again, everything already said until the moment to bid goodnight when they laid in bed. Albedo, being the reserved man he was, kept himself in his side of the bed, not too confident to spoon his girl still.

The silence was only accompanied by Albedo's soft snores. Darkness decorated the walls of the room in the AM. The sense of being trapped growing inside Y/N as she thought of the implications of her new life. She was engaged to an incredible man, who told her how beautiful she was and how much he loved her every single day; who went with her on strolls and made her laugh; who could teach her more than she could ever imagine; who appreciated her as she was.

Still, she felt nothing. At all.

She liked Albedo, that was clear. Who wouldn't like Albedo? He was the perfect man. On more than one occasion, Y/N had Amber and Barbara drooling about how lucky she was to be with someone like him. She knew she was the luckiest girl in Teyvat, most women simped over Diluc or Albedo. But, at the same time, she only felt guilt for being with him without actually loving him.

Anxiety growing on her, she decided to stand up. She walked out of the room, being careful not to disrupt Albedo's sleep, and headed to the transport point, she needed to be away from any form of human activity, she felt like shouting and hitting the first thing she could see. Breathing becoming a very tedious task as she approached the device, opting to go to Mt. Aocang. If she was going to wake someone up, she preferred an Adeptus who wouldn't ask more than any nosy human.

The wind, colder than that afternoon, calmed her to the point her lungs could take the oxygen she had been trying to get for minutes. The orange leaves obscured by the night reminded her of the hair she used to love so much. The hair of that man she had once despised, then loved, and then lost.

He, who claimed to be brave enough to enter her heart, had been the one to take it and keep it even until those days. Y/N noticed how her breathing became irregular again, she was used to it, every time she thought about the Harbinger. That repulsive, irresponsible, dishonest, cunning, intelligent and breath-taking man she couldn't forget. How had she let it come so far?

Albedo gave her everything, yet her heart yearned Childe's love. How pathetic.

"Fuck you, Childe!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, not caring for the Adepti, not caring for those who could hear her cursing the Harbinger Tartaglia at 2 a.m. a Thursday night. "You ruined me, you motherfucker!"

So many fights, so many make outs, so much love making, so many nights under the stars trying to comprehend their feelings for the other. All of that for nothing. Like the bitter cold of Snezhnaya they froze, their hearts on their sleeves, light that came from the satellite above turned off.

"You know, sometimes I feel like you don't like me that much." she remembered him saying, his characteristic smirk on his face, "It's true we had our... abrasions, but girlie, c'mon, don't be so stiff."

She could clearly see in her mind how his hands came to her waist, grabbing her in a gentle but at the same time rough grip. A shivered down her spine, in the present and in the pass, and she was sure she would feel it in the future, too.

"How am I supposed to trust you, Harbinger?" she had said, crossing her arms after pulling away from him.

"Easy, trusting me."

And she did. She felt like a fool for allowing him to be so near, to had felt love from him, for loving him.

"Are you feeling okay? You look pale, my love," Albedo commented, a hand of his on the forehead of his lover, a worried expression on his face.

"Yes, Albedo, don't worry, I didn't sleep too well last night," Y/N reassured him, smiling slightly at her fiancé.

The Alchemist hummed, nodding to himself and returning to his work. The girl had returned to their room after a couple of hours in Mt. Aocang, praying for Albedo to not had noticed her absence. Apparently, he didn't. Had he noticed he would had already asked about it, or so she thought.

"I was thinking about visiting Liyue today, there are some materials there I need for my research," Albedo said after some minutes, looking at her, "I was wondering if you'd like to come."

Y/N's heart dropped. She had to say yes, how could she say no to Albedo? He wanted to spend time with her while still working, an effort she really appreciated. But, going to Liyue? What if he was there? Strolling those streets the two of them had travelled a thousand times.

But his gaze was still on her, waiting patiently for a reply. Doubtfully, she considered all her options: not going and upsetting Albedo; going and crossing him; going and being unable to continue due to the memories. No option was good, she had to choose between her fiancé's well-being and hers. 'He's made so any sacrifices for me'.

"I would love to, love."

Merchants selling, people buying, contracts being signed. That was Liyue in all its glory. Red, green and blue being the most recurrent colour themes on the walls, roofs and gardens, a gift to anyone who wanted to visit a paradise.

Albedo was buying some materials while Y/N stood next to him, not looking at anyone's face in case Childe decided to make one of his classic appearances. She grabbed Albedo's sleeve as a way to comfort herself, reassuring one time and one time again that she didn't have that much of bad luck to cross him in such a huge city.

She turned her head to look around at last, brave to see the stores and Liyue's people. Many of them knew who she was, having helped most of them at least in one occasion, great people with beautiful and peaceful lives. She had that now, at Albedo's side. But why did she feel like it wasn't what she wanted?

The red mask in one of the stalls froze her in her place, it looked identical to Childe's. She knew it wasn't his, of course, he was too involved in the Fatui and too wealthy to pledge his mask, but it made her remember him and one of the many memories she had with him in Liyue, again.

"Girlie, don't be like that" Childe exclaimed, smiling at her with bravado, "You don't have to feign you don't want that bracelet."

"I don't want it," repeated her for the third time, growing irritated.

"I have enough money to buy it for you, darling," the Harbinger insisted, taking her left hand in one of his and kissing her knuckles.

"How charming," she murmured ironically, rolling her eyes and pulling her hand out of his grasp.

"I know," he smirked, going after her, "and I also know how much you love when I act like a gentleman."

"How would you know that if you've never acted like one?" she snorted, watching his expression turn into an offended one.

"I'm a gentleman, you just can't appreciate my efforts to woo you," he replied with a pout.

"Aw, little Childe can't take a no for an answer," Y/N continued to tease him, smiling slightly at his spoiled brat's act.

"Very well, little lady, you're not having that bracelet," he stamped and turn away from her, walking without a real direction.

"Not that I wanted it!" she shouted at the distance.

Needless to say, she found the bracelet in her purse that night with a cheesy note that claimed 'To my favourite and stubborn traveller, with love, Childe'.

She still had it in her wrist, accompanying her wherever she went, reminding her of the stupid man that gifted it to her. Golden with Snezhnaya patterns, orange jewelry decorating the surface of the material. Albedo never said anything about it, never asked, and she was grateful for it, he knew to respect her space.

Her fiancé had just finished purchasing what he needed, looking at her with a loving gaze. She felt nothing, only appreciation, and she felt awful for not returning his feelings at their best, he deserved to be loved and spoiled. However, she missed him, she missed what they had.

The grey sky announced the storm that was coming, thunder and lightning appearing to give a performance of nature power. She had fought, walked, ran and danced in rain. She had danced, kissed and loved. But nothing of it with Albedo.

"Now a step to the left" instructed Childe, grabbing her waist with his left hand and her hand with his right one, "and now turn around... That's it! Perfect! You're a natural."

"Stop lying," she laughed, following what he was saying and dancing with him in a forgotten valley in some old ruins, "I can't dance for the love of Barbatos."

"I think you're really good, almost seductive," he purred, kissing her jaw and going down her neck, "seeing you move your hips like that just" an animalistic growl came from the back of his throat.

"Okay, calm down big guy, we're not fucking here."

The sound of thunder interrupted his reply, confusing them both for a moment. Suddenly, rain poured and soaked them wet. Y/N looked for somewhere they could go to shelter from the storm, but Childe just laughed and started making her dance again.

"What the hell are you doing, pee-brain!" she exclaimed, desperate.

"Dancing with you under the rain. Isn't it romantic?" he asked, smug as always.

"Romantic until we catch a hypothermia."

He didn't budge. Swaying them both with the dark landscape behind them, leaves flying around, wind aggressive. But nothing mattered as they looked at each other; love, affection and lust hidden in their souls, wanting nothing more than to indulge to the other and become one. How can anyone love this much? How can feelings root that deep? Childe was the only answer to those questions.

With nothing but a soft caress to her cheek, he smashed his lips on hers, kissing her while the rain accentuated the wet sounds. Everything with him was wild, but so addictive she couldn't help but coming undone, indulging to everything he asked silently from her. A kiss in the rain never felt so good.

"I'll be right back, I just need to drop this at Mingxing Jewelry," Albedo said, giving her a peck before leaving.

She stood there for a few moments, wondering what she could do white she waited for her lover. The rain was nearing Liyue Harbor, Albedo had told her he needed to do a couple of things more before going to the transport point to return home. She felt like throwing up, not a single spot in the city did not remind her of the love of her life, including their ugliest moments as a couple.

"How could you!?" Y/N screamed, feeling completely devastated and deceived.

"I had to! I'm sorry, okay?"

"No! It's not okay!" his indifference was breaking her heart, looking at him with disappointment, "Again! You did it again!"

"I was ordered to!" he shouted, his voice the same tone as hers, wrath in his eyes, "I have a job and you knew about it when you decided to fuck me!"

"What the hell, Childe!" she cried, "First of all, you nearly destroy Liyue! Again! Not only once but twice!" she was tired, everything was going down in front of her and she didn't want to watch it come to ruins, "And fuck you? You mean love you?"

"Love, sex, everything's the same, isn't it?" he replied, calmer and returning to his indifferent tone.

"W-what do you mean?" the fuming storm stopped to bring an eye of the hurricane, waiting patiently to unleash the tsunami over them.

"What you heard; I don't find a difference between the two concepts."

"You're lying," she murmured, unbelieving. How could he say that when an hour ago he was looking at her with so much love? Was it all an act? No, you can't feign feelings so deep.

"You're just too fool to see it, girlie," his smirk appeared, making her shake in fear, fear of losing what she cared about, "confusing terms and assuming things without asking."

"You're lying." she repeated, more to herself than for him to hear. He sighed, as if he was done with her.

"Think what you want. Now, there are people waiting for me. Until next time, girlie."

The shattering of her heart served up as the soundtrack of his departure. The leaves that had been once so vibrant and full of colour now danced around her in muted tones, mocking her. That was it, the end of their love. The palace the resembled their union fell into pieces, she needed to let go of him. The words he said cut deeper than a knife, made her feel cold. But how could she let go if she still loved him?

"So now you're with the Alchemist," a familiar voice interrupted her thoughts, making her turn to the source of it.

There he was. Orange hair and piercing blue eyes. His smirk wasn't present in the portray he displayed of himself, walking as the noble man he said he was. Her heart raced for the first time in years, asking her for indulgence, for permission to feel.

"Yes," was the first thing she said after some minutes processing what was happening. Childe was there, in front of her, "yes, I'm with Albedo."

"I see," he commented, uninterested. She thought that was all the interaction they would have, that he would go away again and leave her live her life, but she had to know better, "even if you can't forget me, you allow yourself to be with someone else?"

"What is it to you?" Y/N felt offended, who did he think he was to reprimand her in such a dirty way? He couldn't know she wasn't over him, could he?

"It's unfair for both of you. You see, love shouldn't feel like you owe something to someone just because they love you." Childe said, his gaze falling at the bracelet for a couple of seconds before looking at the landscape, "You're fooling him and yourself."

"And what would you know about love?" the question came in a bitter tone. She was angry, how dare he talk about love when he did her so wrong? When he hurt her so much?

"Touché." Childe gave her a sincere smile that reached his eyes, it was breath-taking. Y/N felt her stomach twirl and her heart jump at the sight of such a beautiful scenario, "Glad to see you well, Y/N. See ya!"

And like that, he left the place as if he hadn't turned her world around again. She missed him, she admitted to herself that she missed him. She missed his wild nature, his odd conversations, the mystery wrapping around him. She couldn't forgive him, but she couldn't live without him, either. That's the way she loved him.

Once Albedo returned from his errands, they both went to the transport point to return to Mondstadt. The way back was silent, but not a comfortable one as they always had, there was some tension lingering in between them. She wanted to attribute it to the tension she had been carrying since her encounter with Childe, but deep down she knew there was something else.

When they entered their house, they both changed into their sleeping garments without sharing a word, waiting for the other to be the first one to break the silence. Y/N didn't have it in her to be the brave one in the situation at hand, so, finally, Albedo spoke.

"I know you're not over him," he said, calmly, but there was jealousy in his tone.

She was surprised to hear him say those words. She never mentioned Childe before, less being in a relationship with him. She wanted to feel fear, the same one she felt when her argument with Childe broke them apart, but she felt nothing at all. Why? Why couldn't she be in love with a man life him?

"What?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Y/N." Albedo sighed, sitting at the edge of their shared bed.

"B-but", she stuttered, searching for words, "H-how do you know...?"

"There were rumours... some years ago, about the 'traveller' being with one of the Eleven Fatui Harbingers. It was during your time at Liyue."

She nodded, understanding, but really not understanding anything, "Did you believe them?"

"I can't say yes, but I can't say no, either." Albedo looked at her, he didn't look angry, and that made her feel a little bit better. "I just couldn't know if it was true or not because I wasn't there."

"I see." another moment of silence followed. She took a deep breath and looked at him in the eyes, "Why do you say that I'm not over him, though?"

"There are so many signs, you aren't the subtlest person, love." he chuckled, "The bracelet has Snezhnaya patterns and you haven't taken it out in all these years. I can only assume it was a present from Tartaglia."

Y/N nodded again, impressed with how observant Albedo was and with his deduction skills. She wished for the hundredth time that day that she would have fell in love with him and not with the Harbinger.

"I'm so sorry-" she began, but was quickly interrupted by her fiancé.

"Don't." he commanded, "That's not the only thing that gave you away."

"What do you mean?"

"Your late night trips."

'He knew' she thought, searching for any clues that could tell her when he had discovered it, but there were none. 'He has known all this time.'

"Why haven't you said anything?" she asked.

"I wanted to give you space," he began, "I must admit, however, that at first I thought you were cheating on me."

"I would never-" she was interrupted again, a kind gaze on his eyes.

"I know, I know. I realized when you came home smelling like grass and mint and not with the cologne of another man."

It was silent again, Y/N tried to find anything she could say to make him feel better, but she couldn't even understand himself. Why isn't she feeling her heart shattering? She knew why, but she didn't want to indulge in that feeling.

"I'm so sorry, Albedo. I really am."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not." those words sounded identical to the ones she had directed to Childe once upon a time.

"I am aware that you don't love me the way I love you."

"Albedo-"

"But it's okay, I can love both of us enough to fill that gap."

She was at a loss of words. Had she heard it right? What did he mean? Albedo was so calm, so ethereal, looking at her fondly even when he knew she didn't feel the same. He was going to marry a woman that didn't want him the same way she wanted her. And even though he was aware of that, he was smiling.

"Why?" she wondered out loud.

"Because that's how it works, that's the way I love you, until you can return my feelings."

The leaves that danced aggressively at the other side of the window stayed still, processing the scene going on in the room of the Alchemist and the Traveller. Their colour coming back to a vibrant one, giving her hope of being able to love again, to feel something.

Her love with Childe was like the Sun and the Moon, so in love they were crazy for each other, but impossible and unworkable. But, Albedo loved her like the Sea loved its waves, like the birds loved the Wind, like a Dwelling loved the warmth of the fire, and she was going to return it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but she would. And when she did, she would love him as much as the Leaves loved their trees, as much as the Lake loved the rain that floods it, as much as the Horizon loved dusk.

She bid goodbye to Childe that night, leaving the bracelet in the drawer in her nightstand. Adorning her hand only was the ring Albedo had gifted her.

"See you, Childe," she murmured at 2 a.m. before falling in her slumber.

[cals-sunflower]

gonna get better (a.i)

summary: a relationship is worth way more fighting for then giving up.

-

“ashton, all i fucking asked was for you to be there! i’m basically living alone at this point. why can’t you see that i just want to spend time with you,” your voice slightly strained from yelling. this was the fourth fight that you had with ashton that week. nonstop you’ve been going at each other’s throats not caring about the words that could hurt the other.

“have you ever thought maybe i stay out with the boys because i don’t want to come home. that i’m tired of the same dumb shit,” his voice raising by the minute. your head dropped low while you nodded.

“so my feelings are dumb, huh?” the silence between you two was loud. your heart thumping against your chest. “you know that’s not what i meant or said.”

you sighed and looked at ashton who stood on the other side of the counter in the kitchen. “look maybe we should call off the-“

“don’t go there please. i don’t want to throw away our relationship because of petty arguments. i don’t regret proposing to you.”

“then what are we supposed to do ashton? we can’t keep going like this. we say words to hurt each other, we fight, and i don’t know how much more i can take.” ashton slowly walks over to you to pull you into a hug, instantly you wrap your arms around his waist.

“i think we need some time apart. then go to therapy to really work out our issues. what do you think?”

“as much as i don’t want to be separate from you, we probably should. ash i wanna get back to how our relationship used to be,” you looked up at him to see the tears in his eyes that matched yours. “me too honey, me too.”

-

your friends could tell the tension between you guys. you and ashton hadn’t told anyone in the group what was going on but it was painfully obvious. you guys no longer sat together cuddled up at hangouts, didn’t hold hands or even touch and most of all, your faces no longer held happiness instead letting the gloom take over. being away from him made it worse, he was so close yet so far.

to ash: i need you.

from ash: i’m on my way rn.

“are you okay?” upon hearing ashton’s voice, you immediately speed walk to hug him. “no, i don’t want to do the distant anymore. i need you more than ever right now,” he rubs your back letting you cry on his shoulder.

“i’m right here love,” you guys hugged for a few minutes just resting in each other’s presence and it felt good. it felt good to be near your fiancé in the most vulnerable state because clearly that was lacking.

“so what do you want to do?” he laid his hands on your cheeks, rubbing away any lose tears. “can we go to therapy together like you suggested? to really figure out what’s wrong. i missed you so much. we’re usually glued to the hip.”

“let do it. i mean it when i say i don’t want to break up over our miscommunication. you’re it for me and i missed you too.”

-

you woke up with ashton in the morning to head to the therapist. having a silent breakfast didn’t help any. it wasn’t that you felt awkward but you felt like anything could happen and next thing you know, you guys aren’t together anymore. you feared that.

“hey, you ready to go babe?” ashton’s hand rested on your back. “yeah yeah, sorry. ready when you are.”

“there’s no reason to apologize. i’m scared too if we’re being honest but we’ll never get better if we don’t get to the root of the problem.”

“i know,” you wrapped your arms around him to pull him into a hug. you hugged him as if you were gonna lose him.

-

“so what do you think actually went wrong in the relationship? y/n, you can go first.”

you let out a breath, “I feel like after he proposed, he stopped giving and putting in the effort to our relationship. it felt like he was basically saying ‘hey i got the girl. no need to do anything more’. don’t get me wrong, for the first two months it was amazing and now it just turned to shit.”

“ashton? what you feel about what y/n said?”

“i feel bad i made you feel like i don’t care. why didn’t you tell me?” you scoffed at his words.

“really ashton? i tried to tell you and you told me to fuck off.”

“i did not say fuck off, if anything i-“

“then why are we here ashton? we would not be in this mess if you would just listen to me.”

“don’t put this all on me, you’re just as guilty.”

“oh fuck you ashton, i can’t do this,” you wiped your face with the back of your hand and stood up to walk out the door. “yeah run, run like you always do.”

“me? you’re the one that pushed me away! you’re the one who refused to get vulnerable enough to talk to me.”

“i’m here aren’t i?! i’m here trying to fix what we have but look you’re running.”

“because you refuse to take any fucking responsability. do you even want to get married or did you just propose to me because you thought it would make me happy?”

the therapist didn’t know what to say, clearly there was more to it then just miscommunication. when ashton didn’t say anything, you thought you figured it out. and to be quite honest, you wanted no part in it.

“so you only proposed because you thought that would make me happy? i would have been happy without the ring ashton. i only wanted you,” you looked down at the ring before pulling it off and handing it to him.

“i can’t do this if you aren’t going to be fully in it. i love you ashton but i can’t do this. i can’t keep going with the back and forth. i guess call me when you’re ready? or not that’s up to you,” you placed a gentle kiss on his cheek and walked towards the door.

ashton felt stuck, had he actually just lost possibly the best thing that happened to him. all because of his pride and he didn’t want to admit it was him out messed up. it was in fact him who pushed you away not the other way around.

-

the time you spent apart from ashton was a very hard healing process. you had to really work on your happiness again. you couldn’t stay in the house you once called home because it reminded you of ashton. it was the house you were going to build your lifes together in as one.

from crystal <3 - hey girly, me and si are gonna pick you up from work. we need a lunch date!

to crystal <3 - sounds good crys, i missed you guys :)

from crystal <3 - we missed you too lovely! can’t wait to see you

time flew by fast and before you knew it, sierra and crystal were there at your job picking you up for lunch.

“babes! c’mon we’re going to your favorite restaurant,” sierra pulled you into a hug laying a quick kiss on your cheek.

“it’s nice to see you guys too. man i missed you guys,” you pulled crystal into the hug too. you had isolated yourself from everyone in the friend group. you felt like it would hurt too much. but it’s been months since you seen them.

when you guys arrived to the restaurant, you seen all the guys but ashton sitting in the booth. you felt nervous, like you had abandoned your friends. immediately your eyes watered.

“no no, please don’t cry,” calum was the first to wrap his arms around you. “i’m so sorry.”

“there isn’t anything to be sorry for, we understand why you stayed away. it’s okay,” the other boys now joining your hug.

“i missed you guys.”

“we missed you too short stack,” you chuckled at luke’s nickname for you.

after the hug, you guys all sit down and catch up with each other. you wanted to ask where ashton was but it made you scared. scared that he moved on in those short months. scared that he didn’t want to pursue the relationship between you two again. you’d probably never be able to get over him. you’ve been together since you guys first met while they were writing youngblood.

“now, i hope you don’t mind and you can leave if you want to. but there’s someone who really wants to talk to you,” michael spoke making everyone else at the table stop talking.

“hi doll,” the voice you missed hearing. the voice to the person who has always been there for you. you turned your head and body towards ashton.

“hi ashton.”

you took the time to study his face and he did the same to you. you missed seeing his face in the morning when you woke up. the smile he gave you when you’d make breakfast together or even stay in bed.

“i’m so sorry for-“

you cut him off by hugging him and squeezing him tightly. you missed moments like this. he had really changed your life for the better and to not be with him killed you. he kissed the top of your forehead and mumbled apologies.

ashton let go of you for a moment to get on one knee like he did when he proposed to you.

“baby, i love you so much and i know i can’t ever let that love for you go. you’ve there for it all and i don’t want to let that go. i know i haven’t been the most present when i proposed.

i’m sorry i made you feel like you were alone in this. this isn’t me reproposing because i want to work on our relationship first but this my promise to you. my promise to a better person for you. my promise that you’ll never be alone again. honey i can’t do it without you. i’m sorry that i placed blame on you for my mistakes. and do not feel any pressure to take me back. it’ll hurt but i want you to be happy.

even if it’s not with me. i love you so much that-“

“you’re rambling,” you wiped your tears and kneed down to face him, “ashton irwin, i love you so fucking much and i missed you. thank you for even taking these months to figure out what you really wanted. I want to give you another shot because you really are the only one for me.”

it was like you’re friends didn’t matter in this moment, just the two of you getting lost into each other’s eyes.

“i thought you were going to move on if we’re being honest,” he wiped the stray tears from your cheeks and wiped his.

“move on from you? baby there isn’t anyone i rather be with but you. you’re my motivation. my sunshine on a cloudy day,” you chuckled at the corny words because it was your inside joke behind you two.

“i promise to communicate more and i can’t express more how sorry i really am.”

“we’re gonna okay now, right? you’re not going to isolate yourself from me again?”

“we’re gonna be okay my love. i promise to not do that to you again. and i want you to know, i proposed because i’m madly in love with you. i’m sorry i stopped putting in the effort.”

your friends felt happy for you guys. they knew how much you loved each other and couldn’t wait to see your rekindled love.

“is this the part where we kiss to seal the deal?” ashton laughed and nodded at you. he was quick to meet your lips in middle and place a kiss on them. “gosh, i missed that.”

“i missed that too sweetheart but i missed you even more,” he helped you stand up and brought you into a proper hug. you guys have a long way to go but you knew for sure that it was gonna get better from here on out.

[stardancerluv]

Being a Good Friend

Epilogue Part 4

Summary: Breakfast with detective McCall.

In the elevator, Alex reached over and took your hand. He could, the strain in your jaw. You glanced over at him and smiled. “It will be ok.” He whispered.

Gently Lexi cooed.

You have nothing to worry about either princess. He bent over and cupping his daughter’s head he pressed a kiss on top of her head. Her auburn hair was already full and wild like her daddy’s.

As they walked over to the restaurant, Alex didn’t see anyone suspicious. He couldn’t stop himself from looking around. He was probably just as nervous as you if not more so.

******

“She is adorable.” Detective McCall remarked. “You two did good.” He beamed.

“Would you like to hold her?” You offered the detective, with all he did in helping the two of you it was the least you could do.

“It’s been many years, my kids are adults now.”

You gave him a sweet smile. “Once you’ve done it, you never forget.”

“Alright, maybe this one time. She really is precious.”

“I need a cigarette, I’ll be right back.” He rubbed your back as he looked at the three of you.

*****

Going outside, he lit one and took a deep drag. Moments, later he exhaled skyward. It was a clear, sunny day. The heat was already beginning but to be honest, it still was novel after growing up and in coolish Scotland. He peaked in the window of the hotel’s restaurant.

Damn, he loved his family so much. He still never would have expected. Kids had fucking annoyed him for so long, especially when they would interfere when he would show up for a story. But now, he didn’t know what he’d do without little Lexi.

Taking a few more drags, he stamped out his cigarette and headed back in.

******

“Alex, you are going to have a heart breaker here. She is lovely.” Detective McCall remarked, as they were finishing the last of their breakfasts.

Alex beamed. “Well she is our girl.” He wrapped an arm around you. Lexi, reached out for her daddy. “Alright, come here princess.” Happily, he held her.

“Alex, would you mind if we have a private word?”

He looked at you and shrugged then nodded. “She needs to get some playing in, anyway.” You smiled at Alex and the dective.

“Not at all.” You happily took Lexi back into your arms. He looked at the detective.

“Thank you, for indulging me Y/N.”

You nodded and began making your way to the elevators.

“What’s the matter Detective?”

“To be honest I’ll cut to the chase. If Juliet came all this way. I am worried about the three of you. We know about the break in at your flat.”

Alex’s heart had begun to pick up speed. The man was confirming his own worries.

******

You lightly bounced Lexi on your hip as you went up in the elevator. You were glad that you had told Alex to put the Do No Disturb sign on your door before heading down. You really didn’t care to have a maid come into your room, especially knowing that Rose and Juliet, were close.

You stopped and paused outside the door, when you saw the sign had fallen to the floor.

*****

Alex chewed on his bottom lip. “Detective, what do you suggest? I just want all of this over once and for all.” He ran his fingers through his hair.

Detective pressed his lips together. “I bet. You even moved away to get away from it all.”

Alex nodded. “We were tired of looking over our shoulder with Rose on the loose.”

The man nodded. “Are you done with your story?”

“My story?”

“I figure you are here for the paper.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course. It was a nice opportunity.”

“I can only imagine. But if your done, head back to your flat. See about getting your tickets changed.”

“Why?”

“We can keep an eye on things. There are too many variables here.”

Alex scratched the back of his head and grimaced. “I will have to talk to Y/N but I think she will understand.”

******

You were being silly, carefully you knelt down and placed Lexi on her wobbly legs. You grabbed the sign and were about to grab Lexi when the door opened. You felt like your breath was stolen. You grabbed Lexi before you even dared to look up.

“Oh, Y/N...” She made a tsking sound. “You let that asshole knock you up.” Your heart sank seeing Rose. Her words broke your heart. There had been a time they two of you had been incredibly close.

You stood frozen, your feet didn’t want to move.

“Alright look get in here. We need to talk.”

You did, you couldn’t move fear rooted you where you stood.

You watched as she reached out and wrapped her fingers around your upper arm. “Don’t make me pull you in here. Even though its that asshole’s baby, I am not one to manhandle a mother.”

Lexi, let out a cry. It woke you from your fear. “Ok, ok. I’ll come in.” You brought a hand up and rubbed her back.

******

“Call me when you are done talking to Y/N. She is a reasonable woman. I’m sure she will understand.

Alex nodded. “I really lucked out with her.”

“I’ll told you that when I saw that watch she gave you.” The detective gave him a cheesy smile. “I’ll be at my hotel. Call me there and we will move forward with how we should go about getting back to the flat and how to protect the three of you.”

“Alright. Thank you.”

Shortly afterward as he was going up. He exhaled annoyed. Why couldn’t Juliet and Rose just leave them alone. Didn’t they realize just coming here took a lot of the money.

He was annoyed they had to head back. This was the first thing closest to fun you all had in a while.

With a bing, he left the elevator.

******

Juliet sat in the middle of the large sofa and had her feet up. “Hey there girly.” She made a face. “So the baby stuff wasn’t because you had whiney brats where the two of you ran to.”

You decided to ignore her. “Can I sit down?”

“Sure, we’re not monsters.” She sat up and made a grand gesture, it made your stomach turn. “We just want the fucking money.” She barked.

@mac-n-cheesie @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @brookisbi @johallzy @professionalclown @chogisss @calcifvr @i-love-scott-mccall @stardust-and-starlight @the-mandalorian-clone-lover @unfilteredmoonchild @sithonis @xbrex @hollow-r-us

[dragonblobz]

Part 2 of the request from @lilfriezatyrant for a fic of caring for the injured lizard. Thank you girlie for the amnesia idea. Fits pretty well!

Injuries Part 2

Everything within your body is utterly frozen. Your blood. Your marrow. Your fingers are leaden and tingly as the nails bloody your palms. You’ve never been this close to a bear. And it’s muzzle alone is nearly as long as your fore arm. It’d take several copies of you to fill the circumference of its mammoth neck. It’s so close, the gamey wild smell of it brings terrified bile up your throat.

It isn’t looking at you. It’s looking at him. And somehow you’re thankful for this. You summon some ghostly remnant of courage and turn to look at him as well.

He hasn’t moved one iota. But the rage in his eyes has dimmed to something akin to disgust. As if the bear were some particularly grotesque insect.

His leg!! He cant move because of his leg! Your mind flickers with the possibility of escape. After all. The bear appears to be focused on him. This is immediately followed by guilt. Shame burns in your tummy. You aren’t like his people. His life matters just as much as yours does. But everything is happening so fast. Maybe if you hit the bear and run……..

It would be suicide. And the bear could simply return to finish him off after it’s done with you. You feel the first insipid tickles of despair.

He moves. Slowly. Every action as smooth and calculated as you’d imagined it’d be. The leg nearest you, his left leg, his good leg, slides from your cot, knee bending, to rest his foot upon the floor of your tent. He rotates the upper half of his body to face the bear. His back straightens. His left arm straightens and rises, in a slow blatant display of liquid grace, as his hand balls into a fist. He extends his pointer finger. His mouth creases into an angelic and confident grin which is directly negated by the evil crease of his large eyes. His tail curls behind his body like that of a scorpion.

The entire atmosphere around you begins to change. The hair on your arms prickles with static electricity. Your vision hazes. Your ears pop. You smell a scent that reminds you of when you were a child and lightning had struck a tree near you. Acrid. A metallic bloody taste saturates your tongue. Something is happening. You can feel it. It’s as if the very earth around you is erupting with power.

The bear can feel it too, apparently. It gives a frightened grunt and pulls its maw from your tent. You can hear brush crackling as it thunders away.

The thing on your bed. The alien. He hasn’t moved. But something is different. The air doesn’t taste wrong anymore. Whatever you had been feeling is gone.

His pupils flick to you now and you startle. In a smooth movement, he rotates his body, without moving or bending his arm, to aim that same finger at you. It reminds you of someone aiming a gun.

That same prickling feeling returns. But ceases again just as fast.

He’s wavering. His muscle structure trembles as his arm finally drops. He raises a hand to the bandage upon the side of his head and his body sways as if he’s dizzy before he falls back onto an elbow. His good foot is still on the floor of your tent. Whatever he has just done, with that odd change of energy in the air, seems to have taxed him greatly.

His voice is a shock to your system. Male. Higher pitched. Bored. Each consonant enunciated in a careful and precise way.

“Who are you?”

Your voice trembles and cracks, but you manage to answer.

“(Y/N). My name is (Y/N).”

A look of pain ghosts over his face and his pupils dilate as an elbow leaves the bed to place this hand upon his face to touch the bandage on his head.

“Well, (Y/N), I’m afraid you have the advantage here. I cannot seem to remember my own name.”

Doesn’t remember? Amnesia? From the head wound?

He reaches up and begins to peel away the bandage from his head.

“Oh no! Don’t take that off! If you get dirt in that wound, you could get an infection!” You scramble to your feet and hurry over to him.

He huffs and finishes removing his bandage, then reaches down to start pulling the bandages from his chest, before tossing them all carelessly upon the floor of your tent. He then returns those unsettling eyes to yours. Vermillion pupils assess you as if you are an errant child.

You are still for some time. Then feel shock as you finally become brave and look him over.

The wounds on his chest are completely gone. You lean, trying to look at his head, but he rotates it to follow your movements.

“Your head, sir. I need to see that wound.” You try, and fail, to sound authoritative.

He flops his free arm back to lean upon it as he is the other and looks at you as if he’s the neighborhood watch and you are the fresh pile of dog shit which he’s just stepped in. But he complies.

You cant believe what you’re seeing. The wound, which had been a deep ugly gash yesterday, is now a large scab which is well along in healing. There’s only a little swelling.

“Impossible.” You breathe.

You look down upon his leg. It’s still quite swollen. You insert your finger into the splinting, checking to make sure it’s not too tight. He hisses at this.

“You’re a bold one. Touching me without my consent.”

You feel a slight flare of annoyance but quickly subdue it. “I’m just checking your splinting. Making sure it’s not too tight.”

“I’m perfectly aware of this. You are still alive, aren’t you?” He’s glaring at you.

“Look. I’m just trying to help you, okay?” You try as hard as you can to subdue your ire. “Are you hungry?”

He doesn’t answer. Just that same unsettling gaze.

“I don’t have a lot.” Your stomach growls, as if on cue. “But I do have some granola bars. And some peanut butter.”

“This place is filthy.” It’s like he hadn’t even heard what you’d said.

“Well, your people kind of fucked that to be honest.” You simply couldn’t quite maintain your bedside manner. “It’s just you. And me. This piece of shit tent. And some peanut butter. Now are you hungry, or not?”

“My people?” His face looks confused for a moment before looking irritated. “Am I your hostage? Is this truly how you house your hostages?” You don’t know why he’s being so hateful. You certainly don’t deserve it.

“Like I said, buster. You. Me. Tent. Peanut Butter.” You realize the heinous quality of your own statement and blush, stammering. “N-no. You’re not a hostage. You can leave any damn time.” He doesn’t seem to care.

“Very well, maggot. Feed me.”

You glare at him for a moment. But you comply.

He takes one bite of a granola bar and his eyes widen as he looks at it and chews slowly before glaring at you.

“Passable.”

Your own stomach growls and you figure you’d better go try to find something for yourself.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He’s not pleased.

“I’m hungry too. And since you get the easy food, I’ll just have to go find something else.” You truly don’t mean to sound so bitchy. Not even with his attitude. But you’re hungry.

He studies you as he munches his granola bar, still very much propped on one elbow. And, despite your need to find food, you can’t help but watch. He hasn’t blinked. Not once. And he eats very carefully, the bar pinched between his slender forefinger and thumb. After he’s finished, he continues eye contact as he primly brushes his fingers upon your blanket.

After several more minutes of looking at you, he relaxes into your cot as his eyes close, the foot upon the floor of your tent slowly sliding back under your blanket. His voice sounds tired.

“Very well. Run along.”

This raises fresh ire, but you do not answer.

Your hunt is more fruitful today. Literally. A tree sagging with apples. It had taken hours to find it.

You eat till you feel almost sick. Then gather as many apples as you can in a knapsack.

You stop at a stream to fill your canteen. You’ll have to boil the water. But luckily you have some already at the camp which has been treated. You know that apples are a diuretic. But you had just been too hungry to care.

The sun is very low when you get back to the camp. He appears to be asleep. You are almost surprised he’s still there.

The breeze feels a little cooler today, so you stoke up the fire and boil that water.

You offer him some of the water you had already treated because it’s not hot. He seems very tired. Almost contrite, as he props himself on an elbow again and drinks it. Just as slowly as he’d eaten. And staring at you just the same.

“Thank you, (Y/N).”

You hadn’t expected this. Not in a tone so much softer than his earlier voice.

“You’re welcome……. Whoever you are.”

He seems amused by this, chuckles lightly. Allows you to take his cup and once again settles into repose, his eyes falling closed.

It’s now, quite dark. And quite chilly. You sigh and adjust your pack on the floor again, prepared to curl up just as you had the previous evening.

You’re going to have to move. The camp and him. But you’ll worry about that tomorrow. He seems to be healing quite fast. Maybe you’ll be ABLE to move him.

“It’s cold, (Y/N).” You openly startle at his voice. You can see that same purple flickering upon the top of his head as the night before. And his pupils glow like rubies in the darkness. He laughs at your jerking movement.

“Ohohoho! You needn’t be afraid. There is no monster on this globe which is more dangerous than myself. And the safest place to hide from a monster is, of course, behind a bigger monster.” He’s laughing at you. And although the words seem to be intended to comfort, you can’t help but be unsettled by them.

“So……….. you remember who you are now? Your name?” Your voice is trembling.

He laughs again.

“Not at all! I just know that I’m a monster.” You can hear the smugness, thick as cotton, in the darkness.

“Oh…… well…….. ok……..” you feel a little scared.

He repeats himself.

“It’s cold.”

“I don’t have any more blankets. I’m sorry.” You feel badly. You’ll be colder. But he’s injured and cannot help himself. Even if he IS kind of an asshole.

His chuckle almost sounds more like a growl in the darkness.

“Oh I wasn’t concerned about myself.”

At first, you prepare to deny him, thinking that he’s about to offer you the only blanket. But this is not the case.

“There’s plenty of room under here, (Y/N). Unless…….. you are too frightened of me?” His amusement is palpable.

You blush madly. The offer is innocent enough, but the TONE of his voice…. The sinister predatory quality…… is enough to make your thoughts shift to frightening things.

“No….. no thank you. I mean….. thank you but…… n-n-no thank you.” You flop down on your pack. Curling away from him.

He sounds almost annoyed. And bored.

“Very well. Suit yourself. Squander my generosity. I’ll not make this offer again.” And he finally falls silent.

And the ground is already cold and uncomfortable under the floor of the tent. You’re already shivering. You hug your knees. Try to adjust yourself.

“If you’re going to shuffle and move all night, please take it outside. I can’t rest with all your racket.”

You nearly snap. Sitting bolt upright, you turn to him, doing your best to keep a scathing reply from issuing forth. But your retort dies as you realize that you can see his perfect glimmering teeth in the darkness. The bastard is laughing silently at you.

“That does it!” You fumble at your boots, untying them and kicking them off your feet. You stand, hugging yourself with your arms, still shivering. And as you march towards your cot, your bravado goes cold.

He isn’t laughing at you anymore. His tail is protruding from the blanket, the tip flicking and undulating. His hands are behind his head. And he’s staring at you intently, his eyes a pair of hot coals. You can just barely see his dark lips in the firelight. They’re sneering.

“What do you think you’re doing, simian?”

“You said I could share…..” You are simply too nervous to continue.

“I did, indeed. And you refused me. If you are wanting under here now, you must ask me quite nicely.” His voice is icy.

This doesn’t make you as angry as it should. Anger isn’t nearly as easy to conjure now that you are standing here, looking down into those flaming eyes, seeing that assessing intelligent gaze. You briefly consider sleeping outside.

“Well?” He snaps. “I have dreams to attend to, (Y/N). Have you anything to ask me?” His tone is patronizing now.

“Can I…….” You are now glad of the darkness. Maybe he can’t see how badly you’re blushing. “Can I share?”

“Share what?” he’s being deliberately dense.

You can hardly talk and your face burns as you splutter.

“Can I sleep with you please? You’re right. Its cold.”

“I suppose. But you’ll be removing those garments first. They’re filthy.”

You feel a little part of yourself die from embarrassment. But you kick off your thick jeans to stand before him in your shirt and underwear.

“That’s better.” His voice sounds smug as his tail raises, effectively pulling the blanket back, then pats the cot 3 times. Slowly.

You walk towards him. And you’re trembling as you crawl onto the cot with him.

[saltyhuntress]

One Shot | Dean finds you after a long time since a painful break up.

~ 1687 words

~ angsty stuff, drama

~ this is my first piece that I decided to post hence I’m being so nervous. I’m fond of angsty plots and lots of feels, so brace yourselves! Hope you enjoy it ;)

P.S. just sayin’, English is my second language so sorry for any mistakes in advance :D

“How did you know where to find me?” 

You should have known better to try to hide from a man that knew you like the back of his hand.

It didn’t feel like a good moment to start small talk. You were never good at it and you knew that Dean wasn’t either. Seeing him again was strange but also so warm and familiar. Seemed like not that long ago you two would hang out together for hours talking about stupid stuff, so careless and happy. You tried to shake those feeling rushing at you off. It was in the past. You saw signs of stubble on his face. You liked him with a stubble. But unfortunately it almost always meant that he was in a bad place.

“I never stopped looking out for you.” He said looking down at the bottom of his glass. Plain whiskey, which you never understood. He always teased you for liking girly cocktails.

“I am a girl!” You used to point laughing, but knowing that secretly he liked their taste too.

“I’m… I’m not ready to deal with this.” You stumbled halfway and covered your eyes with your palm, feeling heat rushing to your head. You felt tired as it is, pressure at work was driving you crazy. You left the office with an anticipation of a relaxing evening. But there he was, a glimpse into the past that you avoided so well until now, stood there leaning on his gorgeous car, looking awkward and uncomfortable. You froze, and only after looking longingly at you for a minute, he finally approached you. He offered a drink and you said ‘yes’. Of course you said ‘yes’. It was Dean Winchester. Your Dean.

“Deal with what?” He asked raising his eyes to you, knowing exactly how you felt right now. Pretty much the way he did. Crappy.

“You.” You said shortly and pressed your lips together before you said anything else. You felt like you could say a lot of things to him right now, but felt that it was too early. He looked hurt by that one word already and you hated to be the one to hurt him. “I thought we decided…”

“You, Y/N. You decided.” He cut you off, his brows coming down over his eyes, making him look angry, even threatening. “I listened. That was it.”

“Then why didn’t say anything?” Your voice faltered for a moment as you tried to hold back all the anger and frustration. Sadness and tears.

“It looked like you already made up your mind. And nothing That would say or do would change that.” He downed the whiskey and put an empty glass back on the table with a thump.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Dean.” You sighed softly. You remembered when he started behaving like this. Something bad had really happened. “I would’ve listened, if you had anything to say.”

He scoffed and looked sceptically at you, but both of you knew that that was true. He was over his head with confusion and rage that day, so he didn’t say anything, because he was afraid we would hurt you. He didn’t realize that being silent did a pretty good job at that too.

“But it’s too late now, isn’t it?” He mumbled, turning the glass on the table. He thought about getting another one. A double. 

“It is.” You murmured. “So why are you here?”

“I can’t visit an old friend?”

“I’m not just a friend. You made it almost a year without contacting me, Dean. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” You saw that something was bothering him. And despite the fact that he came all the way here to you meant, that he wanted to talk about it and was just having second thoughts now. You didn’t like to have to pull the words out of him. 

“Then why are you here?!” You exclaimed anger spilling over the edge and heat rushing to your eyes, your heart trembling. You sat there vulnerable near him again, feeling everything that you worked so hard to bury come right back. You didn’t realize that Dean felt the same way but did a better job at hiding it. You waited for him to find any words, but he was quiet. So you took the initiative once again. “You’re upset. I get it. I would be too, if I were you. But don’t think that this whole thing didn’t hurt me too.”

“Oh, did it?” He taunted, with a grin. “Didn’t seem too upset.”

You clenched your jaw as he stared at you, challenging, but you didn’t say a word. You didn’t have anything to say, nothing that he wanted to hear at least. And you sure as hell wasn’t going to give him an apology, since he refused to accept the last time. 

He was silent, still nervously turning the glass on the table. It almost seemed he forgot you were here at all, when in reality he was just lost and confused. A lot has happened since you left, a lot of bad, but he felt reluctant to just dumo all of it on you, even though he knew you would listen and maybe even comfort him. You used to read each other so easily, but time was taking it away from you. One thing was true: both of you desperately wanted to spend at least a couple of hours together, but not like this. Not reminiscing your worst mistakes.

You sighed heavily and started moving to the side of the booth. eager to get out of here. “Goodbye, Dean.” You uttered “For what it’s worth, it was nice seeing you again.” As you started to get up, you got startled by a sudden grip on your wrist. You turned to see Dean looking at you. Really looking at you. All of his sadness and resentment on his face. Honest. That was what really stopped you.

“I just want to know why.” He said trying to stay strong, even cold, but failed. He pulled you back into the booth gently and you gave in. “You said you couldn’t take it anymore. What was the ‘it’?”

You remembered that night. Pained to have to go through this again, you visited your memory lane. A crappy motel, Impala, Sam and Dean. It was a normal hunt until it wasn’t. Until you held Dean’s dead body in your arms because he plunged that niddle into his chest to stop his heart. That was the last straw.

“The life.” You finally started talking under his awaiting gaze. “Maybe at first it was exciting. Killing monsters and saving people, it sounds awesome, but in reality… I got to see the people that I love get hurt. I lost people too. And every single hunt that we went on I was thinking to myself that that could be it. The last one. I was terrified.”

“I still don’t get it.” He interrupted. “You got hurt too. You ran into the fire, you risked your life too, so what’s the difference?”

You chuckled softly at the thought that you had probably sewn up more wounds than you’d ever sewn buttons. For a second there you thought there wasn’t a difference. That you were a hunter to your very core, but then you wouldn’t be here. You’d still be with them.

“The difference was that I wanted out, Dean. I saw the end to the job. I don’t mean a world without monsters, no, monsters are always going to be out there, but an end for me. Something you could never see. I had dreams of a normal life. You don’t. I know Sam doesn’t, not anymore. So… Imagine feeling the way I did and knowing that all of this would never stop. I couldn’t take it anymore.” He tried to cut you off again, but you never let him. You were on a roll and felt that if you didn’t tell him all of this now, there wouldn’t be a chance to do that again. You leaned in and covered his hands with your, as you looked in his suddenly big sad eyes. “I admire what you and Sam so. And I know I can’t be the reason for you to stop, nor can I deprive the world of its heroes too early. But until you hesitate for the first time to stick a needle with poison in you whether it’s for Sam or a ghost, I can’t… I care too much about you. And…” You paced yourself, squeezing his hands. “I can’t love someone who hates himself so much he doesn’t think he deserves to live.”

His body tensed, lips straightened in a thin line, feeling your words cutting way deeper than he expected. Probably because they were true, as much as he’d want to be offended by them than so profoundly hurt. And even though it was painful, he couldn’t let go of you. He couldn’t know for sure but it felt like it was the last time. Last look, last touch, last words. He wanted to prolong it for as long as he could.

“You do, Dean. Out of all people, you deserve to live. But you need to understand that yourself.” You forced a smile, seeing that he didn’t believe you. When did he ever though? You got up from your seat and walked over to his side. He raised his head following you. “When you and Sam finally get that it’s not your duty to die for the world, you can find me.”

You leaned in, a little nervous of what your were about to do, but also wanting it so much. Your lips gently touched his for a short moment, sending electricity and warmth down your spine. And as you pulled away with a growing smile on your lips, you caught a glimpse of one on his face too as he tried to hide it. Both of you didn’t know what was coming next, but somehow you felt that you would still see him somewhere down the road. Maybe one of those would stick. Or so you hoped.

[spiralesbian]

ALRIGHT

here’s my full Stranger Avatar Sasha Archivist timeline:

(also, thanks to @artbyblastweave for being so interested in my lil au!)

SEASON ONE

sasha james is hired as the head archivist of the magnus institute!

her assistants are jon, tim, and martin

tim takes the thematic role of martin (aka getting tormented by my worm wife jane, and stays in the archives)

sasha reads thru statements and is a skeptic! she really does not believe it’s real until jane comes along.

“tim……………………..did you die here?”

“no, but every time i come to work i die a little more inside.”

cute timsha moment in the supply closet tho.

until martin kool-aid-mans through the door and gets them out of there

jon used to work in artefact storage so he hides in there. he’ll be fine

i actually can’t remember how they all get out but they do it KKJSDGFJHD

sasha takes everyone’s statements. tim is fucked up, martin is also fucked up, jon is actually fine though he seems pretty normal about this whole situation most definitely.

sasha realizes this is a bit more than a regular archivist job.

SEASON TWO

sasha gets paranoid of course. she learns more about gertrude because she never got the chance to meet her

she takes a statement from a guy named michael shelley. weird dude. then helen shows up :)

jon is most definitely himself he is just a normal regular grumpy jon i swear :)

sasha starts to manifest her powers a little bit. she doesn’t know it, but she is an avatar of the stranger, and a prisoner of the eye.

she starts to notice more things about jon? similar to this comic but with jon

eventually she + tim + martin help get jon out of the grip of the NotJon. this is my au and i get to choose who dies (it’s no one because i miss the s1 archival assistants too much).

jon is pretty fucked up from this though and at like a season-3-tim mindset already.

fucking goddamn leitner avatar of the fucking whore shows up to trap the NotJon in one of his shitty fucking novels. fuck this guy tho

he’s like Sasha We Must Talk and shes like okay but stay 8 ft away from me at all times you bitch

she leaves the room for 10 minutes and pipe murder occurs. good riddance

wait are the cops in the season i genuinely can’t remember. if they are, their roles don’t change very much. melanie and sasha feud, battle of the bi queens

SEASON THREE:

uh oh! girlie’s be framed for murder! she crashes at her ex gf georgie’s flat. also the admiral is there don’t think i would EVER cut him out of this story

(also jon is georgie’s ex too because i think that would be fun JDHBFHS)

sasha learns abt an upcoming web ritual (mirroring the unknowing), all that shit. gets kidnapped a ton of times, as usual.

helen is like “i am going to kill you because i hate gertrude <3 i was that dumb bitch’s assistant for too long” but michael busts out of the door like Hi Guys and traps her in the hallway.

sasha also gives her statement about a leitner she found as a child that marked her. its a stranger book and we learn her edgy orphan origin story how her parents were both murked by the stranger. fucked up if true!

back at the archives jon is like so fucking tired of this shit honestly and now martin is also pretty paranoid. also jm romance subplot is still very present!

tim is just trying to protect sasha at all times and he’s pissed she keeps leaving the country and getting fucking kidnapped

(remember when jon persuades the traffic cop?) sasha starts to fill her archivist role in a different way. she can shapeshift into the subject of a statement and uses her affiliation with the eye to coerce statements or info out of people. (example: if she needed a live statement from the guy in #90 Body Builder, she could temporarily make herself look like jared hopworth to the guy and ask “what happened to me?” or “what did i do?” and the guy would be like well he built some fucken bodies i guess let me tell you all about it) while reading the statements in america that refuel her, she fully shapeshifts into the statement giver while reading out loud.

once again i truly can’t remember daisy + basira’s roles until the end of the season. also melanie get shot by the ghost at some point

anyways sasha gets kidnapped by trevor and julia and they gerry lays out all the shit for her and she’s like ah! i’m fucked

tim offhand mentions the web ritual to martin and he loses his shit cause he’s marked by the web blah blah this isn’t a web!martin thing i swear i just need someone to fill tim’s role in the ritual and a lonely ritual would be fucking boring as hell as we learned from ass man peter lukas. i hate that man

so they make the plan to stop the web ritual (which is fucking hard when the offense knows your every move) so sasha, basira, daisy, jon, and martin go.

tim stays back at the institute to burn shit and distract elias. elias does some fucked up shit as usual and it makes me sad

the ritual starts! they have a plan to blow it up and run but like. u know how it goes

instead of the unknowing-stranger-dream-sequence, we get everyone kinda mixed up in a huge spider’s web on the big stage and its still quite confusing because this ritual not only manipulates the prey, but also the prey’s perceived reality. the web is also in current control of the buried coffin cause they think that shit is kinda fun. they yeet daisy into it.

hard to describe what happens, but basira keeps her cool, jon is a bit lost in his own mind, sasha tries to use her powers to escape but fails. she manages to get through to martin through the strings and mounds of spiders and she tosses him the detonator.

[squishing spider noises]

SEASON FOUR:

martin doesn't die, i told you i can't kill the og archival assistants! he does lose most of one leg though, he took the blunt of the explosion.

sasha in da hospital in da coma. tim is mad he can’t wake her up and then my man ollie says “ur fucked up mate” and she wakes up

(and because coma jon has such wild hair controversy, i’m establishing that her head was shaved when she was in the coma. it grows back thru s4. it she keeps one side shaved cause she’s cool)

meanwhile tim is recruited by that dumbass man you know who i don’t even wanna say his stupid fucking name

sasha gets daisy out of the buried. they become avatar pals!

(there is the biggest blank in my memory where all of season four should be. at this point i should just relisten to the entire fucking show but i would literally just forget it all again)

melanie says hm. fuck this! and blinds herself. she goes to live with georgie (and that’s the moment jon and sasha realize they are both georgie’s exes FHFHDJD)

tim continues to fight the lonely pull. he thinks that since p*ter l*kas is tied to the institute, he can blind himself out cause melanie was successful. he is wrong. he is also interrupted by elias midway, and only blinds one eye, and loses most of his sight in the other. elias’s hold on him is weak, but this just drives him way farther into the lonely.

gotta be honest i remember the end of season four but like i couldn’t visualize what was happening at the end so i like don’t understand what happened JGDKFJGD but sasha intervenes (???) and peter yeets tim into the lonely (???) and sasha jumps in (??????) after him. elias is just there i guess?

instead of “look at me martin,” sasha finds tim and at this point her form is warped and hard to recognize because of stranger powers, and tim is almost 100% blind, so she says “don’t look at me, see me. see me tim, it’s me.” and finally creates a clear image of herself. “it’s...it’s you. you’re my sasha.”

they break free and go to scotland i guess KHSDDKDSF

idk what happens with jon and martin im losing continuity at this point. fuck it, they smooch <3

“ah these are the statements.”

“yes. basira said last week she’d send some up as soon as the archives weren’t a crime scene. and she wasn’t sure which ones you’ve read already, so she, she just said she’d send a bunch.”

“.........Hello Sasha.”

(alternate ending: personally i think sasha would read through each statement before speaking them aloud cause that’s what i would fucking do, so she would get this statement and be like “lmao tim come look at this elias trying to prank me dumb bitch think i’ll start the apocalypse for him. fucking little puny bitch boy. anyways what do you want for dinner?”)

SEASON FIVE:

“just. listen.”

“...i’m dead. and you have been chosen to be my replacement as head archivist. hopefully, this means you, jon, but if someone else is hearing this, and elias has made a different choice for some reason, then these words are still very much intended for you.”

sasha in full stranger avatar mode and is like 8ft tall and her faces shift a lot as they go through the realms. except the stranger is the second to last one (the panopticon is last obviously).

helen and michael actually talk shit out in the spiral hallway and now they are mlm wlw solidarity and both like tim and sasha are such bi and trans icons <3 this is so fun don’t you love the fearpocalypse <3

oh daisy n basira trapped in the hunt, and jon and martin are trapped in the stranger. wtgfs + the admiral are like in space or some shit idk but they are ok :)

not much to report other than she is my monster wife <3

i really don’t have many theories to how everything in s5 is gonna pan out, and i would like to closely mirror the actual show, so maybe as we get closer to the end i’ll build more on to this! thanks a lot for all the notes on my first sarchivist post!! also if u wanna make art this specific au DEF tag me in it i’d love to see!!

[allyvampirelass29]

He Sees You When You’re Scheming

A NOS4A2 Fanfiction By: Allyssa J. Watkins

"You sure you're gonna be okay, here on the floor, after sleeping in that fancy bed all this time, Your Highness?" Vic smarted off, making Ally giggle as she unrolled her sleeping bag.

"To be honest, Vic, it's not the softness of the bed, I lament not having, but the warmth of the bedfellow......."

"Ughhhhh GROSS!!!" Vic scoffed, making a gagging noise as she hurled a pillow at Ally's curly head, causing her to squeal and duck, laughing. "No HORROR stories before bed, Jane, you know the rules!!!" Vic made another face, fending Ally off as she tried to pelt her with her own pillow. "I'll bet anything that bastard husband of yours snores!"

"No...... he doesn't," Ally said much softer, fighting her smile, but not hard enough. "He's so peaceful when he sleeps, like he hasn't got a care in the world, and there's something easeful about the way he breathes, and his brow....... It's pulled back, softened, like he's found happiness in a dream, and no one can take it away from him....."

"You made the right choice to leave him, Ally, you know that right?" Vic said quietly, watching the tears prick her big, sad, green eyes.

"I feel like....... I'm going to die, being away from him, like I don't know how to live if he's not there, laying next to me........" Ally whispered, her voice catching, blinking tears into her eyelashes, not able to look at Vic, knowing how bizarre it must sound to her.

"Yeah, that whole feeling like you're going to die thing's just normal with Charlie. He just has that effect on women, huh?" Vic smiled sadly, elbowing the pale girl, but Ally couldn't find her smile, cupping her hand to her mouth, the tears falling.

"I know it's wrong, I know..... what he's done, to you, to the children, to Jolene, but I-I still want him, Vic. I know you resent me for it, and when the time comes...... I'll help you do what you must, but GOD I love that man......."

"Hey, come on, Jane, I don't freaking resent you, okay? Well, maybe I did, maybe I thought you were some kind of crazy, maybe I still kinda do, alright, but Ally, it ain't your fault. Manx has been working on wooing you since forever. He MADE you love him, Ally, he planned it, you couldn't have stopped yourself from fallin' even if you wanted. He knew all the right things to say, he got into your head, and then he went for the heart. He's had his eye on you your whole damn life." Vic snickered, amused with her next thought. "Look at us, I freaking hate him, you freaking love him, and yet neither of us can shake him."

"It's true," Ally said gently, feeling very small, her knees weak. As mad as it sounds, I don't want to ever shake him....... I want him........ to haunt me."

Vic felt the corner of her lip curl, a little disturbed. You damn crazy chick....... But as she looked at the pain and the want in Jane Austen's eyes, she knew it was true, and it gave her the shakes. "He messed you up so damn good...... Made you love the way he used you, got you addicted to his poison, jonesing for more, and this...... this is just the withdrawals, Ally. You may feel like you're dying, alright, but that ain't death...... that's detox."

Ally smiled sadly, her eyes brightening with a soft glow, and Vic bristled as she hugged her tight. "Thank you, Vic......... I may not be strong, or have it in me to rebel, but you do, and together, with your ferocity and my written fire, we can do this."

Vic awkwardly hugged her back, clapping her shoulder, and then when she wasn't looking, hit her with another pillow. "HELL yeah, we can, Harlequin! What are you talkin' about!? Look at you, you sure look like a rebel to me!!!! Nothing says you can't be girly and badass, Crazy Chick, remember that. Now, get some sleep, and no visions of sugar plums, got it?"

Ally whimpered, hugging her pillow tight. "I was his Sugar Plum...... That's what he called me......"

"No shit. I may have heard that perv say it once or twice. For what it's worth, Ally, he loves you, I can see it, I can freaking feel it, Manx fell for his own line, but remember....... He loved Jo too, and she's dead."

Ally felt the chills prickle unwanted across her skin, wriggling down into her sleeping bag, pulling the studded shoulder black denim jacket Vic gave her tight. An odd silence creeping between them. In a lot of ways, they both had been Jo. The before........ and the after.

"She was lucky to have you as her friend, Victoria. And, so am I......." Ally encouraged sweetly, her voice warming the empty silence.

Vic cringed at her full name, and yet she didn't mind it quite so much when this Manx said it. Friends? Yeah, I guess we are...... How the hell did that happen? We're so damned different. Love and Hate, Sweet and Sour, Lace and Leathers, and yet we're both gonna do it...... Kick Charlie Manx's Christmas Lovin' ASS!!! We're the only chicks ever that have a real shot at killing Christmas. I couldn't save her from him, Ally, but I can save you. It's what Jo woulda wanted."

Ally nodded solemnly, the emotion flashing in Vic's dark eyes, and away again twice as fast. Damn it Jo, you should really be here........ you're missing all the fun. She wished that badass dame was standing with them right now, telling her story, rallying the troops...... If anybody could put Ally on a Manx Detox, it was Jo.

"You woulda liked her, Jane, she was kind of the perfect blend of both of us....... Loving that Son of a Bitch like you do, and hating him like me......."

"I feel her lingering shadow on us both......." Ally whispered, settling down into her pillow drowsily, pulling her sleeping bag up to her chin. "This is her fight, we're just the ones finishing it......."

"Hell yeah, Rebel. We got this....... See you in the morning."

Ally felt herself start to drift away, even before Victoria had left the room, dancing in and out of lost dreams, reality and conjured memory confused, melting together in her tired mind, as she felt Charlie against her body, and then he would fade, hear his even breathing, and then be met with lonely silence when she opened her eyes, half asleep, reaching for him. Then it felt like he was staying longer and longer, his absences dwindling between fever dreams, the scent of him, that black licorice, and smoked gingerbread, peppermint, and exhaust, fell over her, and she breathed it in, intoxicated, feeling the full weight of his beautiful body laying on top of hers, his breath on her lips, as their mouths almost touched.

"Don't scream."

Ally's eyelashes fluttered open in a daze, her parted lips frowning, looking up, as the fleeting flash of Charlie's dark features surfaced from the darkness. That's odd....... Wait, why would he say-? She felt the tremor in her heart, the frantic uptick, as she realized she wasn't dreaming, the lines of his body, the intensity of his black eyes, appearing in startling, sharp focus.

She went to cry out, warn Vic, and his warm, supple glove pressed hard against her open mouth.

"I said....... DON'T scream. What's the matter, Allyssa? I thought you wanted me to haunt you........" He whispered tauntingly, his smirk deadly, his eyes gleaming fierce in the dark.

Ally rushed to get up, when she felt his body press against hers, forcing her back down, grasping both of her hands, pressing their entwined fingers against her chest, to hold her down, and keep her still.

"NO!!!! No no no no, you can't be here, Charlie, no please," She pleaded, struggling against him.

"But you'll die without me......" He whispered spitefully, clenching her hands tighter, simpering over her, letting her overwhelm his senses, and then he paused with a frown, wrinkling his nose.

"What the HELL has she made you wear?" Ally shuddered as Charlie ripped open the sleeping bag, the zipper flying, looking down aghast at her new McQueen Makeover. "Dear God, she IS trying to kill me....... No wife of MINE is ever going to wear any such biker grunge, and- and- he growled, his nostrils flaring, clawing at her shorts, pulling a fiber free, studying it with a disdainful scowl. "Cut-offs."

"Something's wrong," Ally breathed, even as she looked up at Charles, feeling him, yes, but it was not fully realized, there was something airy about his body flush against hers. Something surreal at work.

"Why yes, I should say so, just look at what horror she's inflicted upon your curls!" Ally felt his fingers digging at her halfback ponytail, yanking her hair free of the black velvet scrunchie, pulling the intermittent braids loose in a disgruntled huff. She purposefully turned her pale cheek inward intending to scratch it on his nail, and they both froze, when she couldn't feel it.

"You're not really here......"

She thrust both hands up to cup his face, and then gasped, as she felt the faint sensation of his cleanshaven cheek, but watched as the air rippled around his handsome outline, distorting the illusion.

"Clever girl," Charlie whispered, impressed. "So thoughtful of you to sneak off with one of my handy little candy canes, so that we might commune in secret, my scheming minx.

"No! I didn't! I never took it, I don't know how you're doing this!" She insisted vehemently, and he smirked down at his rebellious bride, making her shiver as he ran his hands down her body, reaching behind her knee, untying one of her black lace stockings, before slipping a small peppermint candy cane from the back of it, and she gasped, horrified, shivering against him as he spoke.

"That IS where you kept it, isn't it......? After you stole it off me, your knife, like some common street wench, pickpocket......."

"Charlie...... Please, I-I had to, I'm sorry-"

"No more lies, no more deceit. No more waiting," He growled, angrily kissing her cheek, holding it in his projected claws. Tell me where you are, so I can come to you both, and we can finish this......."

"Never," She whispered under her breath, her chest rising with her resolve, expecting his violent rage, when instead it was his tenderness he employed, letting his lips drift against her delicate neck in feathery-light, almost there trails, making her murmur with elicited ecstasy.

"This is my inscape, My Dearest Love, you're in MY World, remember? I will FIND you before whatever frail plot can take wing against me........The only question is........ Will I grant you amnesty, My Sweet, or make you suffer alongside your new partner in crime."

She gasped as he grabbed the front of her black denim jacket, pulling her up against him. "You are NOT Vic McQueen, you're BETTER than her, you're Allyssa Jolene Manx, MY WIFE!!! You're nothing like that crass, classless strumpet, so don't you DARE dress like her!!!" He leaned down over her, his lip protruding in a snarl. "If I were there, really there....... I'd make you take it off....... every heinous last stitch." They both stared at each other, eyes locked, the silence intensifying, the heat rising between their bodies, sighing desirous, at the same time, and Ally got an awfully dangerous idea.

"You mean...... like this.....?" She whispered flirtatiously, and Charlie watched transfixed, his lip slightly trembling with his hunger for her, his anger, as she lifted herself up onto her elbows, and slowly inched the denim jacket off her bare shoulders, looking deep into his eyes, as she wriggled out of it.

"Go on......." Charlie rasped, in an aching demand, flinging the studded jacket away. "I don't think you've quite finished........"

She stared up into the depths of his soul, drowning in his obsidian fire, reaching to hold his floating cheek in her doting palm, and he relented to her touch, fending off his climbing desire for her lips. He watched her fingers fumble down the front of her shirt, finding the hem of her very Vic-like, tie-dyed black tank top, and he watched mesmerized, barely breathing, as she inched it nervously up her bare stomach, her hands shaking more and more the higher it climbed. His breath caught, and he rushed to stop her, gently pressing his hand over her trembling one, to still it.

"No........ No, no, My Virgin Queen, forgive me....... Not like this......" He cooed, and she blushed, feverish, as he inched down her body to kiss her exposed navel, making her toes tingle. Not until the other business is finished, not until I can touch you, really, truly touch you, will I behold, your beautiful nakedness, struck to my soul by that white hot lightning, of skin that's never been touched......."

She breathed deeply, her hand still shaking underneath his, and he kissed her stomach again, even more tenderly, making the wood floor beneath her feel like sand, sinking into it, his lips, even in their faint reach, so soft.

"Tell me where you are........" He coaxed, his breath tickling her bare stomach. "Do not torture me, not like this...... Ally, you've proved yourself my equal in Creative Talent, a worthy adversary, but we both know how this ends...... You won't take my children from me. You could never do that, not you my sweet, affectionate wife!!!"

"I wouldn't have to, Charles........." she whispered back, anguished, holding his beautiful raven head to her stomach, stroking his hair. "If you'd only just let them go, let them be as they once were. That's all we want, Baby........ Please." Ally felt the tears stream down her face, exhaling vanquished, feeling his fury in his hot breath, yanking free of her grasp.

"BE as they once were?" He rasped mockingly, snapping up his coifed head, his eyes smouldering. "Unloved, neglected, miserably LOST!? NO!!! They are MINE, they have been...... FOUND."

His growl was low, emanating from deep inside his chest, moving back up her body, knee against her bare thigh, pinning her arms above her head, and she didn't fight him. "They are mine. They are HAPPIER with me....... and deep down you know it. I am a good father, a loving husband, YOU were happy with me....... once. You crave me, even now, don't think I can't FEEL it. Don't you see? She's poisoned you, my apple white, hoping I'll bite. His voice ached, his touch tender, as he gently eased her tank top back down over her stomach, resting his hand there.

"Shall I do the same to you, My Wife? In this grand rescue scheme, where I die, and that wanton lush, Victoria saves you, is that what you want, to BE as you once were? The sad little doll broken by an unforgiving world, left to languish, unloved? Did I not take you, shattered, into my arms, and fix it? Love you, cherish you? I saved you, not HER. Can you help me...... Mister Manx?" He whispered cruelly, using her own words against her, his voice snide in its scathe, brushing his gloved finger across her trembling lip.

"You did....... You fixed a broken doll, repaired her cracked heart, Sweet Toymaker, and that was the best day of my life, save the brightest hour I married you, and became your wife. I am ever still euphoric in my happiness with you, Charles, but I had a choice....... These poor darlings, these precious, innocent souls did not....... when you turned them into the monsters they once feared."

Charlie scoffed, knitting his brow, confused, incredulous. "Whatever do you mean? Do not paint them as abominations, that's not you, that's HER talking. They're beautiful....... They look like their father, My Love. I made them strong, gave them some bite, in case anyone dared try hurt them again. They did have a choice....... they chose me. They chose not to follow their tragic childhoods into their fated ends, fall apart in their broken homes. They need me....... They cry out to me, all over the world, how can I stand idle, and not save them?

Charlie hung his shiny black head, squeezing his eyes shut to hide his raw emotion from her, his voice breaking on the words, and she reached for him, hands on his face, smoothing back an errant strand that had worked itself free of his handsome coif.

"I understand........ why you do it, Charles, but what began as so noble a pursuit, has taken on a dark purpose, a frightening turn. Think of all those parents missing their precious ones, their hearts breaking just to hear their children laugh again, all the presents they can't buy on Christmas. How can you part them, deny so priceless a gift?

Charles furled his lip, feeling the pain in his heart, the memory of his piercing agony when he thought Millie lost to him forever. Taken away from the father that loved her more than anything else in his damnable human life. "I never take a child from a happy home, Ally, I promise you....... I punish the bad parents who do not deserve their children, and by throwing in your lot with Vic, it is you who passes judgement on the Good Father, the only man that can give them everything. Tell me where you are........ and I promise, I'll finish her off quick.

"No," Ally breathed, and he took her chin roughly in his grasp, with a disdainful eyebrow raise. "Very well, then you will watch every night as I finish her slowly, draw out her screams until they become my new symphony. I'll even let you pen a verse or two......." He smirked, his lip curling in the corner, his eyes lethal. "Where are you, Ally? I TOLD you to FINISH it, and instead you stay away with her, in hiding, delaying, driving me mad with the waiting. Tell me, and I'll let you journey to the outside world. Deny your husband again, and those pretty chains I forged special for you, will be your new best friends."

"I'm sorry, Charles........" She whispered, brushing her lip against his, and he furrowed his brow. “I will come back to you, you have my word, but not until they are freed, she is safe, and Christmasland belongs again to the pure soul, I have saved from his own darkness........ Forgive me."

Ally thrust her thumb forward hard, and Charlie's face fell as he heard the snap of the candy cane, grasping for her, panicked.

"DAMN it, NO!!!! NO, Allyssa Jolene you don't know what you've just DONE!!!!!" He raged, seizing her wrist, and she gasped, as his dark visage flashed away in a burst of white static, the weight against her body, the clamp on her wrist withdrawn. She sank back onto the soft sleeping bag, breathing hard, exhausted, and the broken pieces of the candy cane fell from her hand, clattering onto the wood floor.

Vic appeared, wide-eyed, tapping on the door frame. "Hey uhh I heard a lot of noise from the front room, you okay, down here, Harlequin? You have a bad dream or somethin'?"

"The worst........" Ally answered in an escaped breath, her eyes still closed.

Come and find me, Charlie Manx..........