#and had the potential to win or to at least get a podium

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

Literally every driver at some point or another after a gruelling race in warm conditions: *sits on the ground and tries to cool down and recover somewhat before facing the media aka another gruelling task before they get to leave, looking absolutely shattered*

Everyone: aw my poor baby!!

Max: *does the same after a race that saw him literally overtake everyone outside of the top 3, some of whom twice*

People for some reason: BRAT HOW DARE HE BREATHE

[pickingupmymercedes]

I was catching up on the weekend warm-up on f1tv and Ruth said, and I'll fully quote her here, "The goal of Ferrari is to win the Driver's Championship and the Constructor Championship is secondary. That is well known fact around the pitlane. And then for other teams, it's the Constructors." and then she explains that to Ferrari "The prize you put on a WDC you can't put a number to it. Because it's what people are actually emotionally connected to more than a manufacture, more than a car."

(Ruth joked multiple times that by saying those things she's showing her Ferrari upbring btw)

And I know it also has to do with the financial side and the image of Ferrari as where champions go (at least until Schumacher anyway). But I personally think that adds a really good thinking point to Lewis's move.

Yes, Lewis has A LOT to offer to Ferrari, from his brand to his feedbacks and leadership as a driver. But Ferrari can offer him a team that fully engranes into how they operate the mentality of "All in for their drive. No matter what it takes"

And honestly, Mercedes wouldn't do that. (They didn't in 2021, and I'm not even thinking about the legal actions for the last race. The w12 was barely developed to its full potential and Toto said so)

Mercedes have, from the beginning (2010), stated that their goal was always WCC, and even when they had their dominant years, with both of their drivers finishing on the podium every single GP, the goal was the team first and just then their drivers could battle it out.

And honestly, there's nothing to blame there, that's been their motto ever since they came back. But, it also bodes to their drivers potentially taking points off of each other when in a fight for a WDC (it has happened before).

Anyway, to end the rambling here before it gets to crazy hypotethical territory. Do I think Lewis considered this as a main discussion point? No, not really. But, do I think he gave this particularity some thought when the deal came about, and it was a pro towards going to Ferrari? Possibly.

Also, one last thing, Lewis might play it cool, but he'll take the fight for that 8th if he even as close as sniffs the possibility.

[bunnytalksf1]

canadian grand prix (derogatory)

I joke, mostly. As a tifoso I hated every second of that. as a fan of the sport? That race was fucking BRILLIANT.

So, let's start with Ferrari. I think that was the price we had to pay for Monaco. Charles was so fast there that the curse took two weeks to catch up with him! Seriously, though, this man's luck needs to be studied. At least it wasn't a new power unit... small mercies. He was losing half a second on the straights, adding to around 1.2-1.5 seconds over the course of a lap. Then the strategy gamble... bro what the hell was that. Being lapped by the front runners... I had my head in my hands. Sainz also sustained damage in the opening stages from contact (I don't know with who) and was losing downforce. Carlos didn't even say it himself, but Fred did, so that's how you know it's real! So yeah. Ferrari had a shocker of a weekend. Sainz should have bought home points, too. The damage was not an excuse for that off.

Alex Albon. Oh my god. That double overtake on Tsunoda and Leclerc was poetry in motion. He was driving so well today, a shame that he got taken out through no fault of his own, especially when he was on for points.

Max Verstappen made the difference for that win. The Red Bull was NOT the fastest car this weekend - both Mercedes and McLaren were faster. He drove incredibly and there's a reason he's a triple world champion, and there's a reason why he was so dominant last season.

Norris and Russell... Norris underdelivered in quali and paid the price, then made mistakes in the race to lose his shot at the lead. McLaren strategy department and luck also played a factor, I'll admit. Russell messed up big time, multiple times, allowing Max and Lando to get past him. Then subtly (sort of) blaming Lewis for fighting him as for costing him P2... GEORGE YOU STARTED ON POLE AND HE STARTED P7 WHY WERE U THERE.

As a side note, Lewis paid the price for a poor qualifying session, and I really want to see him improve this rapidly since next year he will be against a much better qualifier than GR63 in the form of Charles Leclerc, whose one-lap pace is arguably one of the best on the grid right now, even if the sf-24 isn't allowing him to show it so far. And even though I'm a Charles fan, I want a good fight!

That being said. I'm not a huge fan of conspiracy theories i.e. sabotaging drivers, but. This weekend was very, very strange on Mercedes' part. From FP3, where Lewis dunked about half a second on George, to quali, where Lewis was behind considerably and couldn't seem to make it up. He then said post-race his tyre temps were repeatedly low coming out of the garage (tyre blanket issue), and that's WEIRD. That last double stack putting Lewis onto Hards and GR onto mediums --- also weird! Lewis said after he would rather have not pitted if he knew they'd put mediums onto GR directly behind as his current set were feeling fine. I don't think he had a spare set of new mediums, hence the hards, but- yeah. That tyre offset handed GR the podium at the end, even though it was a pretty cool looking overtake.

KMAG AND HULK AT THE BEGINNING ON THE FULL WETS?? I thought for a hot sec the haas would podium. Then they fucked Kmag's pitstop. Just Haas things!

Sargeant, Tsunoda and Sainz all had avoidable mistakes that cost them points. Sainz in particular, Tsunoda had some braking issues, potentially (?). Daniel points! Yippee!

Daniel woke up and remembered he was a racing driver after being slandered on sky sports by JV. Perez forgot he was a racing driver after he signed his contract extension. Red Bull things!

Perez also had a 3 place grid penalty and RBR was fined 25k for driving back to the pits unsafely with that fucked up rear wing. As they should! It was dangerous! Barcelona's another track where overtaking could potentially be difficult so that might be costly, even more so if Perez can't sort his quali pace out.

Will be interesting to see how things shake up in the European triple header, and whether Mercedes is legitimately fast or if this was just a weird race. I think they benefitted from ferrari and RBR being off their game.

Anyways. Canada was a race that did not exist. It did not happen. Thanks !!

[httpsserene]

my bahrain 2024 grand prix recap:

if it were anybody but max in p1 and they had the same exact race with the same exact lead on p2, they would’ve been driver of the day. did i still vote for carlos, yes.

a ferrari p3 and p4 is a win—i don’t care what people say 😤 we have to celebrate this as a win because it may never happen again this season. that being said,,, if i hear “we are checking” more than two times in a race, i am cutting somebodies head off at ferrari, and until an improved result is shown more heads will roll :)

did i expect anything different in mercedes’ performance today? no. am i still upset? yes. overall: if both george and lewis could qualify high i think they could have relatively gold race results. they’ve got to find a way of avoiding traffic and dirty air to prevent them from lifting and coasting, but alas, that is inevitable in formula one.

mclaren…i actually am mildly indifferent about my boys. obviously i want them to be higher up as i HOPE the car has made more improvements from last year. i want a lando win, and plenty of lando or oscar on podiums! i need menace mclaren annoying the hell out of red bull this year!

visacashappracingbulls….what the fuck was that at the end 😀 perhaps invest in future planning if you want to overtake a haas. that was embarrassing a lil but. i feel for yuki but i also feel for daniel.

williams; i haven’t looked into what happened with logan but i will be checking! i want him and alex to both do well, and at least have one of them get points today but, it is what it is. i feel like it’ll come in time tho

alpine, go ahead and clock out! if they DNS every race from this point forward they will probably have the same amount of point even if they raced. which is 0 LMAO 😭

aston; same as mercedes really qualify higher and perhaps they will end the race better (truly i think, maybe, that can be said for anyone LMAO but i mean in the sense that they could maintain a higher position better than other teams regardless of their qualifying position if that makes sense?)

stake, sauber, kick, whatever the hell um you’re definitely on the track. i couldn’t miss the car if i tried. also couldn’t miss that 56 second pit stop!

anita max wynn

lewis has such a fat ass that it broke the seat

give me my damn pitstop times CONSISTENTLY. it was funny seeing the 52 from sauber but hell not seeing the others

oscar tried to stay ahead of lewis and it didn’t work but it was a good attempt! keep the confidence up bestie

i did not forget about george potentially leaking fluid at one point or charles’ breaks, or lewis’ battery, or the entire mercedes car—but im just happy it’s over lmao

ONE RACE IN NO DNF, NO CRASHES, NO RED FLAGS, how long will this last?!!!

i’ll see y’all next saturday with another race recap 🫡

[lewisinho]

felipe massa and the championship that got away: an analysis

prompted mostly by massa pissing me off so bad with his campaign of misinformation (like bro sue the weather while you’re at it); this involved rewatching absolute disasterclasses and a few snoozefests during my free wednesday (the weather was terrible as well so took the time to refresh my memory on some of the less memorable 2008 races and compile this mess) and my eyes were bleeding so please show some love

ok, so on a more serious note, he wasn’t absolutely dreadful (apart from in the wet); my biggest issue is that we probably don’t know just how good that 2008 ferrari really was; in the hands of someone with much better quali/race pace it could probably have dominated much more strongly; i think his performance was quite average considering the potential the car had; he had some brilliant weekends as well, but i think they are quite significantly overshadowed by the dreadful ones; then again, 2008 wasn’t lewis’ best season either, and this analysis isn’t really to compare the two, it’s mostly to showcase that massa’s assertion of it being a ‘perfect’ championship isn’t quite true…is all this necessary? ofc not, but i’m going to have some fun with it anyhow; 

i also made this because the concept of ‘deserving’ something is one i deeply deeply despise in sport; the only thing you can bring to the table with such discourse is your own subjective opinion; you win or you don’t, end of; you can, of course, be robbed of something when a rule is indeed broken, but the concept of ‘deserving a championship due to how you performed over the course of a season’ is frankly stupid; and do i think massa was robbed? no. he can’t prove that crashgate was the very thing that cost him the championship because it conveniently ignores everything else that happens afterwards. there’s a clear break in the chain of causation. he neither ‘deserves’ it in my opinion, nor was he robbed of it and i also don’t like the historical revisionism he’s campaigning for either so here’s a full rundown of felipe massa’s season (i tried to be as impartial as i could in this):

top 2 in the driver’s standings (included only for the sake of completeness, please don’t cite toto’s 'wikipedia statistics' quote at me):

some background information:

the 2008 championship comes right after the spygate shitshow of the previous season; fernando alonso leaves mclaren for renault after one year; heikki kovalainen replaces him to drive alongside lewis hamilton at mclaren; felipe massa and kimi raikkonen (the reigning world champion) are teammates at ferrari (kimi’s 2008 season is also interesting to revisit considering the internal ferrari politics at play but i’ll save it for a different time); it's an eighteen race season, and for this season traction control has been banned! (it's important to mention considering the ban had been brought up several times over the season as a reason to explain some of felipe's performances considering he had never driven a formula one car without traction control before);

moreover, the fia’s decision-making this season was questionable to say the least; this is obviously not felipe's fault ofc, but there were a few decisions which he had certainly benefited from at lewis’ expense (spa comes to mind…);

2008 scoring system quick refresher: p1: 10 points, p2: 8 pts, p3: 6 pts; scoring only up to eighth place;

for the race results i will only include the top 3 as well as lewis if he finishes off the podium; for the championship standings i will include the top 3 in the championship as they were after every race (+ HAM/MAS/RAI if they were outside) and on how many points they were after every race;

australian gp (0 points, dnf)

bit of an embarrassing start tbh…massa qualifies p4 but spins in the first corner of the first lap all on his own and hits the barrier; he manages to get back into the pits though and get a front wing change; however, on lap 26 he collides with DC when trying to overtake him; DC retires, but massa continues only to retire from an engine failure a few laps later; pretty shit start to the season

race result: lewis hamilton p1, nick heidfeld p2, nico rosberg p3 (the infamous brocedes podium btw)

malaysian gp (0 points, dnf)

much better qualifying, ferrari clearly has pace as massa qualifies on pole, with raikkonen in p2; however on lap 31 felipe spins off and gets trapped in the gravel; this race was a masterclass from kimi btw, he won by nearly twenty seconds from kubica in p2; also before massa crashed, kimi also managed to get ahead of felipe in the first round of pit stops after pitting a lap after felipe by producing a brilliant in-lap

race result: kimi raikkonen p1, robert kubica p2, heikki kovalainen p3 (lewis p5- qualifying penalty for impeding drivers in quali and had started p8 + slow pitstop by mclaren in the race)

championship standings: HAM (14 points), RAI (11), HEI (11) + MAS (0)

bahrain gp (10 points, p1)

it’s kubica on pole (who i also need to mention because he arguably was the best driver of the 2008 season) and massa starts p2; felipe overtakes kubica in the first corner and then maintains the lead for the rest of the race; very good performance for him and good bounce-back from the first two races

race result: felipe massa p1, kimi raikkonen p2, robert kubica p3 (lewis p13- bit of a disaterclass from him this time around, as he went into anti-stall at the start due to going into a wrong engine mode and dropped positions; he then drives right into the back of fernando’s renault and had to get a nose change, dropping him to p18)

championship: RAI (19), HEI (16), HAM (14) + MAS (10)

spanish gp (8 points, p2)

ferrari are dominating the past few races and the same happens in spain; kimi pole, felipe p3; massa overtakes alonso at the start and it's a ferrari 1-2 procession to the end basically; the race was basically sorted with the overtakes made at the start; also a literal snoozefest;

race result: kimi raikkonen p1, felipe massa p2, lewis hamilton p3

championship: RAI (19), HAM (20), KUB (19) + MAS p4 (18)

turkish gp (10 points, p1)

actually a pretty good race from massa; starts on pole and wins the race; lewis comes in second, executing a three-stopper (arguably this strategy cost mclaren the chance of fighting for the win but they were worried about tyres…still i think, a bit on the conservative side from mclaren in terms of strategy and considering lewis’ amazing pace relative to massa bit of a missed opportunity)

race result: felipe massa p1, lewis hamilton p2, kimi raikkonen p3

championship: RAI (35), MAS (28), HAM (28)

monaco gp (6 points, p3)

wet monaco and absolute chaos! (great race to rewatch btw); massa qualified on pole, but then lost the lead because of a mistake in the wet; lewis wins, and also brilliant race by kubica;

race result: lewis hamilton p1, robert kubica p2, felipe massa p3

championship: HAM (38), RAI (35), MAS (34)

canadian gp (4 points, p5)

massa qualifies p6, ferrari fuel rig problem in the pit lane meant he dropped down to p17; he fights back to p5; and because hamilton crashed into raikkonen in the pit lane, he managed to outscore the both of them that weekend; also robert wins! relative to the others, a pretty good weekend for massa;

race result: robert kubica p1, nick heidfeld p2, david coulthard p3 (every time i remember DC raced in 2008 it’s like a shock to my system)

championship: KUB (42), MAS (38), HAM (38) + RAI, p4 (35)

french gp (10 points, p1)

again, ferrari are pretty much dominating in quali; kimi takes pole, felipe p2; it was kimi’s race to win and he was comfortably leading however he then had to slow down due to his car suffering from an exhaust pipe breaking and hence, loss of engine power; felipe therefore, inherits the lead and wins the race;

race result: felipe massa p1, kimi raikkonen p2, jarno trulli p3 (lewis- p10, he had to take a grid drop for the incident in the pitlane in canada when he ran into the back of kimi; in the race he has to serve a drive-through penalty for cutting a corner and gaining an advantage)

championship: MAS (48), KUB (46), RAI (43) + HAM, p4 (38)

british gp (0 points, p13)

eyeee think this race is best summarised with pictures? allow me:

an all-timer of a race, lewis hamilton masterclass;

race result: lewis hamilton p1, nick heidfeld p2, rubens barichello p3

championship: HAM (48), MAS (48), RAI (48)

german gp (6 points, p3)

massa qualified p2 alongside lewis; this is one of lewis’ best drives of the season i think; he was leading the race comfortably in the beginning stages, pulling away from felipe like crazy (he gained 1.8 sec in the first lap, had a 3.7 sec lead by lap 4, 11 sec by lap 18, clearly on a mission); mclaren don’t pit him under safety car when everyone else around him does, so he has eight laps to build a large gap before having to eventually pit himself; he does on lap 50 and overtakes massa and piquet jr for the win (some really nice overtakes btw); massa really just didn’t have the pace to compete;

race result: lewis hamilton p1, nelson piquet jr p2, felipe massa p3

championship: HAM (58), MAS (54), RAI (51)

hungarian gp (0 points, p17/dnf)

this one was bad luck because massa suffered an engine failure when leading the race; it would have probably been his best win of his career had he not dnf'ed- good overtake on lewis at the start

race result: heikki kovalainen p1, timo glock p2, kimi raikkonen p3 (lewis- p5, suffered a tyre puncture on lap 40; tbf the early seasons also show lewis is still learning about tyre management and that he’s still prone to overcooking his tyres making them vulnerable to punctures)

championship: HAM (62), RAI (57), MAS (54)

european gp (10 points, p1)

qualifies on pole and wins the race; he nearly manages to crash into sutil when released into the pit lane after his pit stop; the team is charged with 10,000 euros after the race but felipe keeps his win (it would be dealt with so differently these days lmao but can’t really blame him)

race result: felipe massa p1, lewis hamilton p2, robert kubica p3

championship: HAM (70), MAS (64), RAI (57)

belgian gp (10 points, p1)

this race still makes my blood boil; funnily enough felipe wins after not leading a single lap in this race! lewis gets handed a 25-second penalty by the stewards and gets demoted to p3; quick recap: lewis tried to pass kimi at the bus stop chicane, but he cut the corner and got into the lead; he allowed kimi to re-pass him because he gained an advantage by going off track; but smartly, he passes kimi again at la source; post-race he’s handed a penalty; mclaren then appeal and say that charlie whiting himself said that lewis had given the place back to kimi completely legally; thing is, charlie isn’t the stewards, who say that lewis didn’t give kimi enough of an advantage; it causes a bit of a storm in the media, niki lauda goes off and calls it the ‘worst judgment in the history of f1’; thing is, it's a really grey area, to some extent i can understand the stewards’ reasoning, but the severity of the punishment is absolutely ridiculous and also points to how inconsistent the fia is...handing him 25 seconds just doesn’t fit the crime at all; (also the last four laps are just pure drama in general! worth a watch);

(if i had a nickel for every time felipe massa got handed a lucky win in 2008, i’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice)

race result: felipe massa p1, nick heidfeld p2, lewis hamilton p3

championship: HAM (76), MAS (74), KUB (58) + RAI, p4 (57)

italian gp (3 points, p6)

bit of a disasterclass, qualifies p6, finishes p6; but funnily enough, he still finished ahead of both kimi and lewis as the both of them were sent out on the wrong tyres in qualifying and only managed to qualify p14 and p15; btw beautiful overtakes by lewis (he finished p7- just one place behind felipe); also seb wins!

race result: sebastian vettel p1, keikki kovalainen p2, robert kubica p3

championship: HAM (78), MAS (77), KUB (64) + RAI, p4 (57)

singapore gp (0 points, p13)

crashgate! he gets pole (quite an impressive pole lap i must admit) and leads the race until piquet jr crashes, and felipe pits, ferrari release him too early and he drives off with the fuel hose still attached to his car…to that i say, maybe sue your pit crew as well 

race result: fernando alonso p1, nico rosberg p2, lewis hamilton p3

championship: HAM (84), MAS (77), KUB (64) + RAI, p4 (57)

japanese gp (2 points, p7)

now this one is a disasterclass on all fronts, but if you want drama i recommend watching it; felipe qualified p5; he managed to crash into hamilton and got himself a drive-through penalty; he also tangled with bourdais when attempting to overtake him on lap 50; bourdais was blamed for it and got a 25-second penalty after the race; thing is, i don’t see how it’s only bourdais’ fault tbh? massa squeezed bourdais as he attempted to pass him going into the first corner and bourdais couldn’t just disappear…anyway the decision to penalise bourdais was criticised a lot, also considering that penalising him went against charlie whiting’s pre-race direction that the car exiting the pit-lane has the right of way (which bourdais was); 

race result: fernando alonso p1, robert kubica p2, kimi raikkonen p3 (lewis hamilton- p12, bit of a disasterclass from him as well)

championship: HAM (84), MAS (79), KUB (72) + RAI, p4 (63)

chinese gp (8 points, p2)

qualifies p3, behind lewis and kimi; lewis comfortably leads the race and wins it fifteen seconds ahead of p2; massa finished second after raikkonen is instructed to let him through (ferrari team orders, bit of a deja vu)

race result: lewis hamilton p1, felipe massa p2, kimi raikkonen p3

championship: HAM (94), MAS (87), KUB (75) + RAI, p4 (69)

brazilian gp (10 points, p1)

ahead of the last race of the season, massa could still win the title if he wins the race and lewis finishes p6 or lower; massa did all he could: he got pole and won the race; mclaren opted for an incredibly conservative strategy in the race (they only needed to secure p5, and considering how they lost the title only the year before, it’s explicable): for e.g. waiting for a relatively long time to get lewis off the inters when it began to dry during the first part of the race; 

race result: felipe massa p1, fernando alonso p2, kimi raikkonen p3 (lewis- p5 and world champion!)

championship: HAM (98), MAS (97), RAI (75); shoutout to robert kubica who had an absolutely amazing season and who also finished on 75 points, but ended up p4 on countback.

hope this was somewhat informative :)

[itsillyakuryakin]

I'd like to thank @kimissteeringwheel for the tag!

Pairing/Shippy list!

Here's the rules:

1. List your top seven ships

2. Put all of them in order of your love for them; 7 to 1, 1 being your favorite.

3. Name their fandom.

4. Supply photos for said people.

So here we go-

7. Jenson Button x Fernando Alonso [Ship Name: Buttonso / Jensonando]

Fandom: Formula 1 RPF

Reasons: Because why not? They have the chemistry, they have the potential, they have their own thing going on every now and then- give me a good reason to not ship these dorks.

6. Napoleon Solo x Illya Kuryakin [ Ship Name: Napollya / Illeon]

Fandom: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. [movie 2015]

Reason: Pure Grumpy x Sunshine trope. Illya is shot tempered and keeps himself isolated most of the time, but Napoleon knows how to get under his skin (👀) and adores his Red Peril to death. I mean, he literally jumped in those deep waters to save his life- what more prrpf do you need?

5. Charles Leclerc x Max Verstappen [ Ship Name: Lestappen/Verleclerc ]

Fandom: Formula 1 RPF

Reason: Seriously? You need a reason? Aren't those subtle touches on Charles' lower back after the podiums, or even when they're close to each other, not enough? Isn't that habit of Max not being able to stand in one place after seeing his favorite Ferrari boy enough? Isn't their inability to not mention each other once in every interview ever enough? They're the definition of "Love is blind"

4. Mika Häkkinen x Michael Schumacher [Ship Name: Makkinen/ Mikael]

Fandom: Formula 1 RPF

Reasons: The classic Finn x German trope. They say they're not friends yet can't seem to leave each other alone. They basically defined each other's lives in the sport and outside of it by staying side by side in every battle. A win wouldn't feel like a win to any of them if not snatched by the other one.

3. Carlos Sainz Jr x Lando Norris [ Ship Name: Carlando / Muppet Friends ]

Fandom: Formula 1 RPF

Reasons: THEY'RE MY COMFORT SHIP!!!! They take care of each other, mention each other everywhere, go on golf dates (and dates) with each other, spend time with each other on family weddings/holidays and even after it's been three years since Carlos switched teams, their bond keeps on getting deeper and deeper. And these two were the ones people initially thought would not get along. They proved everyone wrong, and still are. I personally believe both of them progressed a lot as a personality after meeting each other. Specially in Lando's case- He's a big brother to Oscar now. Carlando for life!

2. Nico Rosberg x Lewis Hamilton [ Ship Name: Brocedes / Rosmilton ]

Fandom: Formula 1 RPF

Reasons: REASONS??? FOR WHAT EXACTLY??? Both of them come from two totally different worlds and background - one with everything and one with almost nothing. Nico grew up in a lavish lifestyle but he established that friendship doesn't care about your background. It's just friendship. And he had his fair share with Lewis, a little boy from the UK who found a friend in a place and time he least expected to be. They went on vacations together, raced each other as teammates - both in karting and F1, which was a dream they both promised each other of when they were practically babies. But the same dream tore them apart later in life and they're so close and yet so far. And the fact that it's not fictional is just tragic.

Honourable Mentions:

Destiel [ Dean Winchester x Castiel] - Supernatural

Cherik [ Charles Xavier x Erik Lehnsherr]- X-Men Universer

Stony [ Steve Rogers x Tony Stark] - Marvel Cinematic Universe

Johnlock [Sherlock Holmes x John Watson]- The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

Hannigram [Will Graham x Hannibal Lecter] - Hannibal.

AND DRUMROLL 🥁

1. Kimi Räikkonen x Sebastian Vettel [ Ship Name: Simi / Kibastian ]

Fandom: Formula 1 RPF

Reasons: Who else has ever had the ability to make the Iceman smile bar the little unhinged sassy German that we all love and worship the most? Kimi is so comfortable with his surroundings when around Seb and actually laughs and speaks by his own will! They both spend time playing badminton and Kimi actually addresses Seb as his friend. Like- is this a dream? IT'S REAL!!!! Get yourself someone who smiles at you the way they both smile at each other. And after all- it's Sebastian. You can't resist his charm- no one can ✨

Like look at them:

Uff. This was a long post but I enjoyed it. Thanks a lot to everyone who read it to the end.

I'd like to tag @thatquirkycookie, @sebbuh , @wdkzms, @rednyx-sf, @muppet-friends and @sainzinnorris to participate. And anyone who sees this post and wants to do this obviously. No pressure though. Do it only if you feel like it!

[myimaginarywonderland]

People saying this is just as bad as Daniel or Alex or Pierre truly do not understand how much worse this is.

Since his F2 days Nyck knew he was never going to be able to get into F1 because it was just to expensive. Even when he was under Mercedes wing it was impossible. He got into FE and while we can all debate his title he at least found a place in a championship where he could fight for podiums/points, hell even wins. Sure Stoffel proved himself the better driver and Nyck has always been semi in FE but he was in a championship were he felt good. Then, Mercedes decide to leave eventhough they basically just came in and Nyck once again is left with knowing he has nowhere to go. And while there were offers he truly believed so much in F1 that he never pursued any and to his luck and Alex being sick he finally got the impossible dream.

He got a chance.

And then he gets critized from day 1 for his aggressive driving which was clear in the last years if you just bothered to look him up, he gets critized for not being closer to Yuki after being in a compleltly different series to F1.

I don't think people understand how different FE used to be and still is. It took André Lotterer who won multiple Le Mans victories a full season to get even used to driving with that different style. And people expect Nyck who spent years getting used to and finally adapting to it to just immediately fit into the F1 driving style?

Not to mention in such a bad car that you have the team leader (in drivers terms) openly criticising it multiple times with the team principal agreeing that they need to change the car which is the worst in the entire grid so it would take even longer to get used to it?

This is nothing like Daniel. He had many years before his ultimate McLaren downfall.

This is also nothing like Pierre or Alex who got swapped mid season because of performance issues because they both still had a drive on the grid, they both still had a chance to improve or show themselves. Sure they were beaten but they both had great races before that.

This is a driver that completely wrote F1 off a long time ago being given the impossible chance to drive and of course jumping. This is a driver being kicked mid-season is such a PR disasters move that will automatically make any other team turn away from him because they will question why he was dropped. This is a driver being kicked mid season without any chance to get a seat somewhere else or even look. Pierre and Alex could at least prepare themselves while Nyck was just this week talking about how excited he is for the next race.

This is a potential career ending move while the others just had blows and in most cases it was a turning point to something even greater. Not that I agree with any decisions prior but it almost opened a door where as for Nyck all door are closed, locked and sealed shut.

I don't think you realise how damaging this is for not only his career but also his mental health and that this compares to nothing, nothing we have seen before.

[f0point5]

Danny would be the obvious choice for 2nd RB seat if Checo is out. Mostly because he had time to get his mental state to the right space, and after the hell in McLaren he would be happy to be home.

Him and Max have a great chemistry (we all know it wasn't like that at the beginning but they both grew up now and matured... at least I hope so), and in my opinion Daniel would be just happy to be driving that fast car again, maybe get a few more wins, and then walk away with head raised high because he did a good job.

And even though we can probably expect Max dominating in the upcoming seasons as well, Daniel seems to me like someone who - even if he was in a fight for podiums or maybe even championship - with Max, would not let himself to be pulled again in some hate and despite-filled situation. Max literally adores him, and their chemistry is on another level from Max&Checo's.

Don't get me wrong, Daniel is a great driver. Can be a very dangerous driver as an opponent. But RB would not potentially sign him if they wouldn't feel the potential of their former duo working once again.

And even though I feel sorry for Checo, because probably neither of us can imagine what a pressure is right now on his shoulders, he proved that his mentality is not the strongest. Being kicked out of McLaren, then from Racing Point, it would be nothing new, and it makes me feel gutted for him because he is really trying. But once again, Daniel's mentality seems to be in a much better place now, and he would probably deal with that huge amount of stress in a better way.

For me, Daniel is a no brainer of a choice. He has said himself, he is driving for pure love of being in the car, not because he feels the need to achieve certain things. He wants it, but he doesn’t need it. That is a very freeing mentality. It means when he gets in the car every week he’s not thinking of anything but driving as fast as he can, not necessarily beating 19 other cars. That’s a mentally settled person.

Daniel knows he made a mistake leaving Red Bull, and I think he’s grateful they’ve brought him back into the fold, and he’d love the chance to drive a Red Bull again. He wouldn’t mess that up by trying (and no doubt failing) to rattle Max. I see him very much ready to enjoy the competition, but okay the team game and be there to scoop up wins when Max isn’t able to for some reason. And because he would be doing that enthusiastically, his mental state wouldn’t suffer so much from the comparisons.

I do feel bad for Checo because he clearly wants to be there, but his performance isn’t cutting it. If was able to operate at the very top of his game for all 22 races he would still be second to Max. That must eat him. That can’t be fun. But he just can’t get his head around that enough to accept it and until he does, he’s going to continue tarnishing his legacy. If he wants to stay in the sport post Red Bull he should go back to a midfield team where he occasionally out drives the car to a great result. Or retire. He’s got a whole life outside of F1 and enough money, maybe it’s time to go enjoy that.

[dopedoopey]

(Okay so hear me out. I wrote this on 15th August and it’s 1st September today. I’ve got some things to say. I initially didn’t wanna post this because I’m delulu but let’s just say things have escalated.)

Guys.

We’re halfway through the season. Max is practically steam-rolling all drivers (including his teammate) at this point and he will keep doing so until he wins the championship this year. Zandvoort is gonna be his, we know that. But if there’s anything that could potentially break his win streak, it’s Monza. Not because of the so-called curse the track supposedly carries, but because it bleeds Ferrari. There’s no better win for Ferrari than Monza. We unfortunately couldn’t have the Imola GP this year because of the floods in the Emilia-Romagna region. Another important race that Ferrari could only hope to win back then. (They didn’t have the upgrades until the Spanish GP, so they would have performed poorly at Imola anyway)

Now that we’ve seen some improvement in strategy, pace and overall performance, Ferrari doing a lot better than they were at the start of the season. (Hopefully will they continue to improve). With Charles’ P3, P2 and P3 in Baku, Austria and Belgium GP respectively, he’s had some consistency and is now 5th in WDC standings.

Carlos however, I wouldn’t say the same about him. Yes he’s been quite consistent, finishing in points almost every race with only one DNF but he has yet to score a podium. And I think that very thing needs to change in Monza. I want Carlos Sainz Jr to be the Ferrari driver winning in Monza this year. The haters are gonna come at me with knives, frankly idc but it’s something that needs to happen. And here are my reasons-

1) Carlos could be leaving Ferrari for Alfa Romeo (Audi) or possibly Alpine for the 2025 season as his contract with Scuderia Ferrari expires at the end of the 2024 season. Personally I think he would want to stay and sign a similar 2+3 contact Charles has allegedly signed. (It’s silly season so I could be completely wrong but those are the top rumours/news so heh~).

2) I will spend forever highlighting the fact that Monza is literally the most important race for Ferrari (which they continue to bin with shit strategy) and winning in Monza is every Ferrari driver’s dream. Charles has achieved it in his debut year at Ferrari and with the great Sebastian Vettel as his teammate which makes it iconic. Carlos also has that very dream. It’s evident, he finished 4th last year (uneventful safety car period robbed a podium as he had the pace)

3) He has the car to do it. We know that ex Ferrari team principal Mattia Binotto specifically had SF-23 designed to cater more to Carlos’ driving style and technique than Charles’. Yes the SF-23 is a shit tractor that can only manage to bring nothing more than 4th place in constructor’s championship this year. But I’m getting the feeling that Ferrari might get this shit together for Monza and at least manage a podium finish for either drivers. (I’m delulu)

1st September

HOLY SHIT CARLOS SAINZ P1 IN FP2 ON HIS FUCKING BIRTHDAY IM CRYING

WILL UPDATE SOON

Update 2nd September

CARLOS FP3 P1 AGAIN

LETS HOPE FOR A GOOD QUALI

CARLOS QUALI P1 IM CRYING

Carlos p3 and Charles p4 I’m okay

[callumilott]

junior drivers to watch in 2023

a comprehensive, incomplete and biased list by yours truly, based on what ive watched/read in 2022

Andrea Kimi Antonelli (age 16, Mercedes junior | 2022: Italian & German F4) only the second driver to win both italian and german f4 in the same season. seems like someone to watch and someone who might progress to f3 next season. i haven’t personally seen him race yet but the double title is quite telling

Ollie Bearman (age 17, Ferrari junior | 2022: F3) the first driver to win both italian and german f4 in one season. had a superb rookie season in f3 in which he nearly took the title home. still a lot to learn as he was prone to some rookie errors but nothing he can’t sort out with some more experience. will probably progress to f2 in 2023 and, depending on the team, might very well be a solid candidate for the title

Franco Colapinto (age 19 | 2022: F3) joined f3 as a rookie with a brand new team (VAR) which took over the HWA entry. both franco and the team absolutely smashed it out of the park and got really good results. very impressive driver who i’m excited about to see what else he can do. better car probably required tho

Enzo Fittipaldi (age 21, Red Bull junior | 2022: F2) after recovering from a horrific accident in 2021 to race in f2 again in 2022, enzo has been absolutely impressive. he drives a charouz for crying out loud. got a several podiums and is in a fight with several others for a top 4 (or potentially top 3) finish in the f2 standings. i hope he can continue this in a next season. who knows what he can do with a better car

Ollie Goethe (age 18 | 2022: Euroformula Open & F3 temp) this kid positively blew me away tbh. he joined campos in f3 as a sub in hungary where it rained all weekend. he qualified in reverse grid pole (p10) in only his second ever session in an f3 car, took points in the sprint and barely missed out on a podium in spa. hope he gets promoted to f3 in a good team and he can show what he can really do with a full time drive

Isack Hadjar (age 18, Red Bull junior | 2022: F3) so he was on to win f3 for a while but in the end lost out to the 3 others also on this list. he’s still stellar, don’t let that p4 fool you, and i think we’ll see more great things from him in the future. i definitely hope so at least. promoting him to f2 might be too soon but who knows what they’re smoking at the RB junior program. very impressive and quite consistent, which is always impressive for a junior.

Zane Maloney (age 19 | 2022: F3) quite impressive in f3, almost took the title home as well. prone to some rookie errors but overall a solid driver who really found his groove throughout the season. curious to see what he can do next year! no idea if he’s gonna get promoted or not but either way, i’m sure he’ll do well

Victor Martins (age 21, Alpine junior (god help him) | 2022: F3 champion) won, of course, the f3 title this year. he has his off days sometimes but is overall very very solid. i just think he’s neat and he’s also very good. most likely will be promoted to f2 next year, potentially with ART. his rookie season might not be as mind-blowing as some people expect, but he’s a driver who needs a bit of time to get used to a series and find his groove so he’ll be fine!

Sebastian Montoya (age 17 | 2022: Formula Regional & F3 temp) i’ve only seen him race as a sub in f3 this year but with minimal experience in an f3 car he scored points in both races he did! in a campos! if he gets promoted, i think he’ll be one to watch as a front runner. potentially?

Zak O’Sullivan (age 17, Williams junior | 2022: F3) listen i know ur wondering why p11 in the championship is on this list but LISTEN. he’s good. he had one hell of a learning curve this year with straight up silly errors at the start but he’s learning! he had some superb results as well and rumour has it he’s going to prema next year which means he will be a solid front runner. also, that wet-to-dry race in hungary where he went from 28th to 4th? yeah :) i think hes neat. hes like callum but in italics u know

Gregoire Saucy (age 22 | 2022: F3) again, why is p15 of the standings here, u ask? because he has potential that really didn’t show too well this year. i’m not sure what his achilles heel is but he’s also a driver who does better with more experience so i hope he’ll get another shot next year. not someone i’d write off based on one bad season is all i’ll say

[vro0m]

I saw on Twitter that the Bills, an American football team, played a Max Verstappen theme song. I didn't even know he had a theme song. Isn't Lewis part owner of the Broncos? Do they do anything at all to honor him? I guess this bothers me because I see Lewis slipping down that list of marketable athletes, while Verstappen and his complete lack of personality is climbing up it, not far behind Lewis. Lewis has always had a much bigger fanbase in the States, but if American football teams are paying homage to Verstappen, it's only a matter of time before Max surpasses Lewis in terms of his marketability. All it takes is one Google search for the non-f1 fan to look up Verstappen and potentially be impressed.

I wish I saw more videos of Lewis on social media training or doing something to show that he's preparing for the upcoming season and intends to win as many races and get as many podiums as his car allows him to. I mean, don't get me wrong, I get that Lewis' brand is being involved in more than just F1, but I don't think he can afford to show himself doing extracurriculars as much as before. P3 obviously isn't bad, but if he made fewer errors and if he were a little more aggressive, he would have been at least P2 and maybe even won 1 race.

Why do you care so much about Max's popularity?

Do you think the most important part of Lewis training is that he's showing you on social media that he's doing it?

Do you think Lewis having other ventures is branding rather than just genuinely having other interests?

Do you think if he gave up his other ventures it somehow would give him a car that can actually compete with the redbull?

[krakenbait]

bragging rights bracket update #6

good afternoon, bracketeers! the eastern conference had worked itself out last time i reported, while the west came to its final two this time. the golden knights took out the oilers, while the stars overcame the kraken in a game 7 that was very unfortunate for me personally. the conference finals lineup is probably fun if you’re a canes, panthers, knights, or stars fan, but is decidedly not fun for the majority of the brag-cket. there’s only one entry left standing, and 15 out of 19 participants have hit their points ceiling. most likely, i’ll get to award this year’s bragging rights before they hand out the stanley cup. gary bettman, eat your heart out. 

anyway, the scores.

116 points

Hughes line is it anyway? (@natashastarkk​) - highest points potential for a busted bracket, and third place last year. is this another podium event for nat?

96 points

hopelessly optimistic bruins fan (@patron-saint-of-boston-hockey​) - something something unfortunate bruins fans being very attracted to the numbers 6 and 9 (see: AJ’s points total last year)

91 points

more hairy men (abby) - go natural disaster teams?

84 points

Chaos mode (emily) - what are your thoughts on shiny gold helmets?

81 points

raise hell or whatever (@dawson-mercer​) - which taylor swift era would you say the devils are in?

you know :) (@nastybastian​) - how’s the weather in jersey? i bet it’s cold and grey

68 points

come on and raise up (@andreisvechnikov​) - i really hope teravainen isn’t rushing back too quickly

ready 2b dissapointed but not surprised (@morganfrost​) - how could the oilers do this to you?

the commissioner is not supposed to win (me) - so close to being nice! well, at least i’m in good company

66 points

Jack I will pay you to get a mullet (@puck--off​) - and now we wait for the offseason adventures

61 points

battle of the matty b’s (@shea-theodore​)

kraken why! you were my last hope!

58 points

The head, the heart, and the himbos (@circle--of--confusion​) - your western conference was briefly genius... well, aside from that jets pick.

56 points

Hold me like a grudge -  that’s no good for your health

GOOD vibrations (ki) - denver has officially shifted into basketball mode, i take it

55 points

big advocate for naps (@turbolainen​) - last one standing! *several red lasers appear pointed at you*

53 points

the bringer of chaos (brett) - your bracket standing is somehow worse than your music taste.

46 points

Djoker’s actual bracket - did you see the noora raty signing? it’s like the rivs are building their own finnish mafia

33 points

last season 69 points (@arsonandhockey​)

corwin, i think your brag-cket attempts are cursed.

13 points

if the bruins don’t win don’t talk to m (AJ) - if this was a real bracket pool, like with money, i’d be giving you yours back

[mcl38]

At least your self aware. we have been hearing about that ugly troll being a future wdc for 5 years and he can not even capitalize on any chance to win without bottling it

id actually argue lando was rly slept on in terms of wdc material for the first 3ish years he spent in f1, and i think theres a couple reasons for that. first, like, he just didnt have a compelling enough narrative - when u compare it to his fellow 2019 british rookies, one of them was the champion of formula williams bc that car was so far behind anyone else, and the other one got promoted to a top 3 team within half a year, meanwhile lando was just kinda quietly collecting midfield points in a difficult-to-drive car, not rly much artifice in his rookie season. and then also, bc of his adolescent charisma, it was rly tempting for pundits and fans alike to shoehorn lando into this weird category of like court fool, where he gets to do his little quips and jokes and giggles and everyone gets to forget that he also like, drives a car.

but the funnest reason for this initial underrating imo is that lando's not had a typical driver performance trajectory. ive talked abt this before, but his progress in f1 has been SO amazing to watch bc he just keeps getting better bro. ppl like charles and george got the label of prodigy or championship potential bc they came into f1 guns ablazing, ready to fuck shit up in their subpar cars, and only after years in the sport do we see that, in top cars, that same crazy determination can easily turn into desperation and overshooting. lando, meanwhile, came into f1 a shy driver. i don't mean in terms of personality, but in terms of racecraft - he tended to lose positions after the start, give up slightly too easily in wheel to wheel battles, choose to save tyres over fighting for position, etc (traits that he still somewhat displays). but then, over his 5 years in the sport, he's sort of quietly and methodically developed niche skills like tyre management, race pace, and outlaps / inlaps (as well as the bigger ones like overtaking lol), and now he's in a top dog car and people r surpised to see that he's like consistently a threat, consistently on the podium, hasnt crashed into a wall once this season, hasnt ever had a driver error dnf. why? because he started off cautious (and therefore unimpressive), which turned into calculated, so he can figure out exactly where he can push and where he can't afford to. which is exactly what mclaren want and need in a top car driver

so like yes i understand that the nowins jokes arent gonna stop until he does actually get a win. but at the same time, he's currently sitting in front of the only non-rbr race winner in the championship with a car thats only been fast for half the season. and why is that? because he bottles races? nope. because he doesnt

[calebvanponeisen]

The Post-Halloween Contest

In the early nineties, my youthful mistakes had caught up to me and I was broke. I was two months behind on rent, trapped completely alone in a shit job that barely covered the bills. No friends, no family, no one. Solitude didn’t bother me as an introvert, but life was still a struggle. So much so that I scavenged discarded cigarettes butts from the street to feel a small relief from the grim reality of life.

Now, I can’t remember the exact year. Might’ve been ‘92 or ‘93. But the day is etched into my brain until dementia absolves me from my memories or my life meets a bitter end. It was a stone-cold November day, and my unpaid bills meant no warmth awaited me at home.

That day, the 12th of November, I made a stupid decision. As I trudged back home from my shitty delivery job, I gathered as many pieces of paper as I could find in the trash or on the street. Yeah, I was about to make a campfire inside my apartment and risk the lives of every poor soul in my complex. Desperation does drive people to madness, and those of you who’ve experienced the tortures of prolonged hunger, cold, and frustration might understand my plight.

Just as I was about to ignite my makeshift campfire, an ad in a crumpled newspaper caught my eye. It read something along the lines:

“Post-Halloween Head Carvers Wanted. Free contest. Top Prizes $500, $300, $150. All Participants Get $25. Address: xxx. 13th Nov. 2100~”

The prospect of earning $25 just for participating in a pumpkin carving contest, with the potential to win hundreds more, was too enticing to ignore. That glimmer of hope may have saved my life and those of my neighbors at that time.

The following day, my shitty job didn’t seem that bad after all. I knew that that night, Friday 13th, I’d earn at least a day’s wage in a single night. As soon as my shift ended, I rushed to the location, the piece of paper safely tucked in my pocket.

The neighborhood wasn’t one of my favorites, and the narrow alley leading to the venue made me very uncomfortable. I remember hoping that I wouldn’t get mugged.

At the end of the alley was a black metal door marked with a sign reading “Nov. 13th Contest”. I had finally arrived. Three knocks on the door later, a pair of eyes peered through a peephole, followed by a gruff voice asking my business.

I showed him the ad, and with a clank and a squeak, the door swung open, revealing another narrow path without roof.

“Down that alley, second door to the left,” said the man who looked like the bastard child of Dracula and Frankenstein’s monster, snatching the ad from my hands.

Beyond the wooden door lay an underground hangar, it’s chilly atmosphere momentarily making me consider retreating. But the sight of the other participants, about three dozen or so, each standing before a table equipped with the necessary tools, made me a little more comfortable.

A porky man wobbled to the entrance and greeted me.

“Heya fellow,” he said in a friendly voice. “First time here I recon?”

“Er, yes,” I hesitated.

“You know why you’re here?” he winked.

“Of course, I do. I’m here for the first prize,” I jokingly said.

“Great,” he said, apparently relieved. “We’re still awaiting a few more guests. You can take that table over there,” he pointed somewhere in the middle of the room.

The metallic tables blended seamlessly with the similarly colored tools, fitting the industrial aesthetic of the place. Having some time to kill, I began to observe the other participants, who were a mix of weirdos bordering on the bizarre. But being a badly dressed, broke guy myself, I kinda shrugged it off, attributing their odd behavior to nerves or anticipation of the competition.

Twenty minutes later, the door behind me shut with a loud bang. The portly man from earlier ascended a small podium, his voice resonating throughout the cavernous space, even without a mic. He laid down the rules and carts began to circulate.

“… and this time, keep it to carving only. Understood, Jack?” The man on the podium directed his gaze towards ‘Jack’, a middle-aged man with a weird head tick who grumbled and nodded simultaneously.

“This time,” the man on the podium continued, “you won’t have the luxury of choosing your head. Haven’t been able to procure enough, so we’re distributing them randomly. No exchange, understood?”

In unison, all participants responded, “Yes sir.”

As the carts drew nearer, I noticed something off about them. It wasn’t until one was banged on my table that I realized the horrible truth. My ‘pumpkin’ was the severed head of a young woman. The sight was so shocking that I wanted to scream my lungs out.

The other participants seemed unfazed by the gruesome spectacle. I tentatively touched the head on my table, its lifelike texture making me recoil in shivers. My brain refused to believe it was real. I convinced myself that it was a prop and tried to regain my composure.

“And begin! You have an hour,” the porky man’s voice echoed. I had almost forgotten about the competition at that point.

I watched in horror how the other participants carved into the faces as if they were mere pumpkins. It became very clear that these weren’t props. I was shivering uncontrollably, staring at the head in front of me. There was no way I could bring myself to desecrate the face of an actual human being.

The man on the podium, whom I call Porky, approached, noticing my hesitation.

“What’s the matter?” he scowled.

“Er, I- I’m a little cold,” I stammered. “Didn’t bring my good coat.”

“Ah well. Be better prepared next time. Now, come on. Carve your head. You’ve already lost five minutes.”

I picked up the knife with my trembling hand, aware of Porky’s watchful gaze. So many thoughts ran through my head, like explaining how this was all a big mistake. Or perhaps I should bolt it. Or… Or do something, anything to avoid committing this perverse act unworthy of even the grossest of human beings.

But I knew. Yes, I knew. Any sign of dissent or attempt to flee would result in my premature death. Maybe my head would even end up in a freezer until the next event, just like this poor woman. How did she even end up here, I wondered.

Too afraid to act with decency, I began to slice my kitchen knife in her eye socket, focusing on making the smallest cuts possible to buy time. And also to keep my meager supper inside my stomach. A few cuts later, Porky had seen enough to leave me alone.

Somehow, I had managed to keep my composure until the end of the hour without throwing up or passing out. And, after the award ceremony, which my mind mercifully erased, I received my participation money. I was actually relieved that I hadn’t received a prize. Had I, I don’t think I’d have had the power to stay alive until this day.

After I left the place, I rushed to the nearby park to wash my hands, then returned home, curled up into a ball, unable to sleep for the rest of the night.

I considered telling the cops, but what then? Would they even believe me? Even if they did, I could be arrested for complicity.

With the first rays of sunlight, I found myself inexplicably drawn back to the site of the previous night’s horror. I needed to confirm whether the events were a product of my frayed sanity or a frightening reality.

I knocked on the door, unsure of what to do if confronted by the same pair of angry eyes that had peered at me the night before. Fortunately, nothing happened. I knocked again, and again. No answer.

With no one around the area, I climbed over the door and ventured inside. It was a simple door leading to an open hallway. From there, I retraced my steps until I was at the hangar’s door, which, oddly enough, creaked open as I turned the round handle.

A voice in my head screamed at me to flee, but I was compelled to enter the now-empty hangar, devoid of tables, tools, and Porky. Each echoing step amplified my anxiety. Despite my fear, I had to know whether this had been just a nightmare induced by the cold, insomnia, and hunger of the past few weeks.

As I explored the vacant hangar, a small piece of brain tissue and some bloodstains where my table had been confirmed my worst fears. It had all been real.

Suddenly, the door slammed shut behind me, sending me into a panic. I sprinted towards the exit, my mind conjuring images of a monstrous creature lurking in the shadows, whose hairy tentacles were always mere inches from pulling me into the dark abyss.

The door’s round handle kept spinning as I tried to open it. I repeatedly kicked the door, but it wouldn’t budge. In desperation, I climbed up a thick pipe I had spotted before, and broke a window to escape, the fear of being pursued by some unseen horror fueling my desperation. Miraculously the glass didn’t injure me, and I escaped through the roof side.

Despite my mind still reeling from the nightmarish experience, necessity drove me back to work that day. In the following weeks, I sought better employment, eventually landing an office job at a respectable company. Despite the low pay, it offered a glimmer of hope – a chance to leave the city and my nightmare behind.

Unfortunately, as it happens, one year passed without securing the funds to relocate. I scoured every newspaper after Halloween, hoping to find a similar ad and alert the authorities, but to no avail. And yes, like a fool, I even revisited the site on the same day, knocking on the door, but no one answered.

Haunted by the gruesome event and frustrated by my inability to prove its occurrence, I focused on advancing my career. Less than a year later, I moved to a city hundreds of miles away, vowing to never return, as the memory of that night is forever etched in my mind.

Over the years, I’ve tried to date women on several occasions, but the sight of a woman’s face, eyes closed, was reminiscent of the woman’s face I carved. Unable to overcome that trauma, I resigned myself to a solitary existence, haunted by the fear that one day, Porky might find me and turn me into a prop for their macabre contest.

And today, the 13th of November, I know that sleep will elude me, like it has every year on this date since that cursed day. With the darkness of the night, I am reminded that the monsters we fear are not hiding under our beds or inside the closet but walking among us. The most terrifying horrors do not lurk in the shadow; they hide in plain sight.

[loveforlandonorris]

🎤 Lando at the post-race press conference in Qatar:

Interviewer: Lando, if we can come to you now. Tremendous drive from P10 on the grid. Very well done to you. What were your expectations coming into the race, first of all?

Lando: I mean, think we knew we had great pace. So it was a bit tough to know with – just what you had to do with the pit stops and things. I think it was a bit hard for anyone to really know how it was all going to play out. But we knew we had great pace, maybe not initially to fight for a win, but to get up to the front at least.

And initially, I would say, to fight the Mercedes, but they did a lovely job of, yeah, making our life a lot easier. So I didn't really need to think of that and could just focus on catching the guys that we were definitely quicker than, which was the Ferrari and the Astons.

And yeah, by the time we came through Turn 1, I felt like we could at least fight for the podium straightaway. So that was – yeah, from Lap one, a podium was on the cards and was my target. But the pace turned out to be probably better than I was expecting, you know, for us to be, at points in the race, probably a bit quicker than Max. Maybe at some points a bit slower. But I think on the whole, for us to finish P3 was as good as it could have been today. So I'm happy for the whole team, for Oscar, for everyone in McLaren, for us to [have] two cars on the podium again, for a third time, is fantastic.

Interviewer: We haven't heard you say "quicker than Max", really, at any point this year. Do you feel that you've been closer to him at this race than anywhere else we've been so far?

Lando: Yes. Yeah, probably. I think – I mean, I don't know how, you know, how much quicker Max could have gone in Qualifying. But (laughs) I guess if I wanna be honest with myself, you know, I should have fought for two Pole positions this weekend. And potentially two victories. I know it's a big thing to say, but I think if things went well, if I just did a better job and didn't make the mistakes I did over the last two days, which is why I've been so frustrated, because I knew what was on the cards, what we were able to potentially achieve. And that was victories, both yesterday and today.

So I feel like it was a weekend of missed opportunities for myself to take the fight to Max and at least give ourselves that opportunity. Yeah, so I don't know. There’s good things and bad things. I feel like I've missed out and didn't do what I should have done and achieved what I should have achieved. But I'm definitely still happy with a P3, you know? I can't take anything away from that. But in the back of my head, I know I should have done more this weekend.

 Interviewer: And in your head, do you think it could have been a P2 had you not had the team orders?

Lando: (Laughs) I'm not sure. Like, whenever I got a bit closer towards Oscar, the dirty air was quite a big struggle. Like, as soon as, even with the backmarkers, you got within 3 seconds or something, you immediately lost time. Around a circuit where it's so much about load and these long corners, as soon as you have a bit of dirty air, it's a big struggle. So I think my pace was definitely a bit better, but it's hard to know. And I mean, Oscar has done a very good job all weekend. He's beaten me, he's been extremely quick, he’s made less mistakes, and he's come out on top. So hats off to him too.

Journalist Questions: 

 Question 1: A question to the two McLaren drivers, please. Lando has just said that he thinks he could have fought for a victory today. Did the mandated stint length and the tyre rules make that more likely or less likely?

Lando: Hmm, you should ask Max! (Laughs) Tough to say. I think, you know, the Red Bull is normally that step better in the race with degradation. I don't even feel like our degradation was bad today, you know? I feel like we could push, even towards the end of stints, I don't feel like we were suddenly struggling a lot. Maybe if it was a two-stopper and we had to eke out the tyres that bit more, that's where we would have seen the Red Bull just be more consistent. And like in Japan, that's where he was always a bit better was just that second part of the stint, was just keeping the consistency and we would drop off a bit.

So maybe we didn't see that today. Nevertheless, for the race today, it was very good. So, it shows that when we can keep the tyres in a good condition, we’re closer and we're getting closer to what we need. But we still know at certain tracks, you know, like, the last few weekends, we’ve not changed anything on the car. This weekend's been a lot better, but it's the same car as the last few weeks. So we still know we have a lot to do in the background.

Question 2: Logan retired because he was not feeling well. I think more drivers struggle towards the end of the race. Do you think F1 is pushing the limits with this race, in these conditions, with these cars, or maybe even going over the limit?

Lando: I think today we probably found the limit. I think it's sad we had to find it this way. It's never a nice situation to be in, you know? Some people are ending up in the medical centre or passing out, things like that. So, pretty dangerous thing to have going on. But it's not a point where you can just go, the drivers need to train more and do any of that, you know?

It's... we're in a closed car that gets extremely hot in a very physical race. And it's frustrating. (Smiling) I guess on TV, it probably doesn't look very physical at all. But clearly, when you have people who end up retiring or in such a bad state, it's too much, you know? For the speeds we're doing, it is too dangerous. So, I know that this race next year is later on in the season, and it will be a lot cooler a few months later, but it's something that needs to be thought of and I'm sure we'll speak about it because it, kind of, shouldn't have happened in the first place.

Question 3: As a follow up on this, Oscar you said this was the toughest one, but for Max and Lando, what was your toughest race in these circumstances? Because Max, you said this is certainly top 5, so I was wondering what was the most challenging one?

Lando: I crashed out of Miami so (laughs) I can't use that one. What would I say... I would say it's probably been the worst one. Maybe it's there and Singapore, definitely just the 2 worst ones. Singapore, a bit different, just because you need, like, more concentration and the race last year when it was wet, drying out, like, the humidity was insane. You needed probably even more concentration; this is just a different task 'cause you have a lot more high speed corners. Physically, your body's probably taking a bigger hit, but you don't have the walls and things like that. So it's a bit of a different challenge.

Probably for the first time ever, I've drunk from my bottle during a race (smiles). I actually wanted my engineer to remind me to drink; normally I never even use the drinks bottle. Today was probably the first time I actually wanted it and I had it.

Question 4 (Michael Hill): Obviously, to the McLaren drivers: with double podiums coming obviously in the last two Grand Prix, closing the gap in the points quite considerably now to Aston Martin and Ferrari, is now P3 in the championship a reality for you guys?

Lando: I don't know how far we are behind P3, so...

Hill: 79 points. 

Lando: It’s not 69. (Max laughs) It's doable. (To Max) Why are you laughing? (Back to the question) I think so. A couple of races ago it was, what, 70-something to Aston. I don't know what it is now? 17? I mean, Fernando said we were overconfident as well (smiles). I think so, I think we're just doing a good job, you know, not just in terms of pace but today we had a 1.8 second pit stop which is pretty impressive from the guys. They've been working extremely hard, so to reward the whole team consistently is only more motivating and a bigger boost every weekend, you know?

They like the taste of success. It's the first time they're getting it consistently and I think that only makes them want it more and more and more every weekend that we're doing. So the guys are doing a great job, I think we’re both doing a decent job too, so we'll keep it up.

We know that Mercedes are very quick, probably as – almost as quick as us today, just, they keep making mistakes. So I'm sure if they have a clean weekend, they will maybe make our life a bit more tricky, and therefore I'm not as confident in saying it.

But, like I was comparing to Ferrari, it's only 3 weekends ago that Ferrari were close to… were on pole and almost winning races. And nothing has really changed, it's just a different track. We're looking better, they’re looking a bit worse, you know? So I think we're definitely not overconfident. We're confident, I think we need to be, but we know there's still gonna be some races where we're not gonna be quite as strong.

[my-fragment-of-peace]

So if you've been around here for a while, you'll know that I have a love/hate relationship with DTS. I love it because it came out soon after I became an F1 fan and through it, I was able to learn a lot of the technicalities of the sport much quicker than I would've otherwise. I love it because of the funny moments we get from Guenther Steiner and the moments we got from Cyril Abiteboul (iykyk) and the moments we get from Toto Wolff. I love seeing all of the intricacies of the sport and getting to see what it's really like to behind the scenes and I think, in this aspect, the show has and has had a lot of potential. That being said, I hate that they overdramatize the show and I hate that they bring in plot lines that don't need to be there. For example, family/relationship drama, random statements that don't need to be made, when they show drivers at their absolute lowest, and just when they do things that are completely unnecessary in general. I also hate it because it seems as though the sport is now trying to stage dramatics in order to create a more interesting reality show. But anyway, I love the tea I love the chisme I love the educational moments and I hate what it's done to the sport. Let's get into it.

Drive to Survive Season 5 Episode 1 "The New Dawn" Thoughts & Opinions (Below the cut if you want to avoid spoilers)

Excuse me but why tf are we getting flashbacks to AD21? At the same time, I'm glad no one is forgetting. Good. Let them keep showing it. But I still hate to see it.

GUENTHERRRRRR I love that it's opening with him after that mess. A ray of pessimistic sunshine I adore him.

I had no idea Haas and Ferrari shared components until now, but looking back at last season, the math is indeed mathing, unfortunately.

Just learned Binotto makes wine as well. News to me. Only a few minutes in and already so many new facts.

This vineyard looks so beautiful and peaceful. Mentally I am there.

Now they're flashing back to all of Charles' downfalls last season. Why does DTS insist on giving me montages of pain?

"This is more close to Top Gun than a documentary." - Toto Wolff, DTS Season 5 Ep 1. Remember this moment. Icon. Legend.

Will Buxton literally always looks like Will Schuester from Glee in a way and it bothers me.

Lewis looks so cool. Like he can just be standing there, sunglasses on, minding his business, and he's still effortlessly the coolest person in the room.

Carlos talking about how good the Ferrari car is, is giving me literal pain. Little did they know. Little did we know.

Charles saying that he thought they'd have the opportunity for the world championship. More pain.

Nah Chr*stian, we don't hate because you're winning, we hate because your team and more specifically the winner on your team repeatedly says racist, sexist, and ableist things. But sure, think it's because people are jealous.

MAGNUSSEN. Honestly bringing him back was such a good call. He did phenomenally well last year in that shitty little car. Good for him.

Daniel talking about trying to find balance in the car. Pain once again.

Not gonna lie, I zoned out for a minute. It's late here and I'm starting to get sleepy lmao.

Haas with the hydraulic leak. I forgot this even happened tbh. It feels so long ago.

Rbr honestly seems so toxic to work for. Their drivers still did well, and they're only talking down to them/about them. Like...y'all have a good car. You have fast drivers...like...calm down and be at least a bit more decent and respectful. Fuck's sake.

Hearing Guenther speaking Italian is a new experience. I'm sure he has before, I just don't remember hearing it until now.

Zoned out for a minute again. May have slept for a moment idk.

DOUBLE FERRARI AND LEWIS PODIUM. I forgot how beautiful this moment was I swore this would be the best season it all felt possible in this moment.

"That's exactly how we should start a season." Yes Charles, it is. Now let's do it again this year please.

FORZA FERRARI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well. That's over. I'm gonna go to sleep now. I was so hyped for this, but tbh, the show is kind of boring. It's just kind of pointless. It's different from what I remember. Do I no longer enjoy the tea or the chisme? Maybe not. Maybe I just want to watch the sport and let that be that. I'll have to keep watching tomorrow when I'm more awake and figure out the verdict then.