#and he can’t teach diddly squat

[lannisterdaddyissues]

i might have been a little too optimistic while i was planning out how to budget my time so i could prepare for my exams next week

[legendofzoodles]

Another LU thought:

Time, Twilight and Wild are Honorary Gorons

Let’s start with the ace of the chain: Wild. He got to prove himself to the Gorons numerous times, by calming Vah Rudania, doing side quests and shrine quests (like the gut check challenge). Not to mention he was already an honorary member of the tribe 100 years ago through his friendship with Darunia. He definitely visits Yunobo and the boys at Death Mountain to vibe and eat rock roasts.

[Training at Death mountain in Twi’s era]

Darbus: I think we should take a break for lunch.

Wild: [excitedly] Are we having rock roast?

Dangoro: What’s that? 

Wild: [running off] A really good dish made from rocks. Sit tight you two, I’ll make some!

Darbus: ...Can Hylians eat rocks?

Twilight: We can’t, but that doesn’t stop him. 

Twilight’s approach to making friends with the sentient rocks was unconventional in a traditional sense. Typically when trying to get on someone’s good side you don’t go on a rampage through their home fighting and throwing around all their friends. But the Gorons are tough so in this case that worked, and after Twilight beat one of the Goron’s most respected members he earned their trust and was permitted entrance into their sacred mines. 

[After Twilight told the story of how he climbed Death mountain]

Warriors: Is there a Goron in your era you haven’t assaulted? 

Twilight: They were fair fights.

Wind: Like hell they were, you used iron boots that’s cheating!

Twilight: ...

Twilight: Well, I haven’t fought any of the kids or elderly. 

The chain: ( ಠ_ಠ)

After saving their patriarch and helping them reconnect with the people at Kakariko they would’ve definitely considered Twi as one of them. I can imagine him taking trips to Death Mountain post TP to train with the Gorons, chuck rocks around, rock climb and of course sumo wrestle.

Ooh what if Twi teaches Wild sumo so that they could pass it to the Gorons in his era. The sport must have died out by that time since I don’t think it comes up in BotW. I imagine that Time already knows it. Since it was stated to be something of a tradition for them and his era is less than 200 years behind Twi’s. 

Speaking of Time, during his adventure he got really close with the Gorons, although he didn’t do any official challenges like Wild (I think) or brute force his way through their territory like Twi. He just kind of showed up as a kid, solved their problems and then did it again 7 years later. 

In the child timeline the adult part of OoT means diddly squat, but I’m pretty sure a little kid strolling in and doing what grown ass members of your tribe couldn’t would be enough for you to respect him. Plus Time has Biggoron’s sword in LU, meaning he did that side quest for the master craftsman. If that isn’t one brother helping another then I don’t know what to tell you.

Going over now to LU, the three of them would spearhead the shenaniganery that would ensue if the chain were ever let loose in the Eldin region (in any era). Wild would be climbing around all over the place making friends and Twilight wouldn’t resist a few friendly sporting matches and yeeting half the population off the mountain. 

Also I’m thinking that the chain would meet up after an afternoon of doing their own thing only to walk in on Time winning an arm wrestling match with a really strong Goron. Whether he’s using the golden gauntlets or not doesn’t affect how hyped the group are seeing their leader kicking ass with the biggest grin on his face. 

~~~

Thanks for reading.

Masterlist

9th place in the LU character design ranking

Character analysis posts:

Hero of the Sky, Hero of Time, Hero of Twilight, Hero of the Wild, Hero of Warriors

Parkour team - LU drabble

How each member of the chain laughs - LU headcanon

Remember that Wild eats rocks. Never forget this vital information. 

I’d like to include Wars but I don’t think he connected much with Darunia during the war and he’s too busy being a high ranking soldier to take trips to Death Mountain. 

[karlyanalora]

The clone troopers hate the new nat-borns filling their ranks. They don’t teach them diddly squat. But on occasion, rare as it might be, they find one worthy of their training.

Bly is placed in charge of basic training for the Empire’s recruits. His newest batch of men is just like the last. All except one.

The kid blatantly ignores Bly’s terrible advice on how to shoot a blaster. His witty, barely veiling his disgust for the Empire. But he volunteered to be here and he keeps going.

Bly is intrigued. One day he pulls the kid aside and asks him why.

The kid talks about his escape from Corellia, how he had to leave a girl behind. Not just any girl, but “the love of my life.” And he’s here, in the Empire, so that he can go back and save her.

For reasons he can’t quite remember, that strikes a chord with Bly. He smiles and places a hand on the kid’s shoulder.

“Han, love is a powerful thing. When we fight out of love, the Force will be with us. If that’s what you’re here for, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you find her.”

Bly actually trains Han, teaches him everything he knows. Han Solo passes basic training with flying colors and Bly disappears a year or two later.

Decades later, when Solo meets Rex and Wolffe for the first time, he grins.

“Always good to meet another brother of Bly’s.”

“You had Bly?” Wedge pipes up, “I had Stone. He taught me everything I know about a blaster. Sure don’t know how those other stormtroopers can’t hit a barn with his training.”

Other Imperial defectors pipe up, kids talking about the clones who trained them. Who pulled them aside and told them they were special and actually taught them.

And it eases something deep inside Rex’s chest to know that maybe his brothers had been able to do some good after all.

[somerpmemes]

The Owl House Starters

Change as needed

“No! My only weakness! Dying!”

“That doesn’t count, right?”

“Do you have any friends? Real ones?”

“Tiny trash thief!”

“Oops, that happens sometimes.”

“I’m a squirmy little fella.”

“I like food, I like love, just let me write about it!”

“Oh, he gets so cute when he’s thirsty for power.”

“I’ve never actually broken any of your stupid laws… in front of you.”

“I hate everything you’re saying right now.”

“We’d be the strongest power couple ever.”

“Self-doubt is a prison you can never escape from.”

“Anyways, let’s bounce before any more monsters fall in love with me.”

“I am not your cutie pie!”

“No one wants an un-oiled snake.”

“Remember, never befriend a man in sandals and always measure twice, cut once.”

“Be back by nightfall or risk mortal peril!”

“I know I’ve had enough delight for one day.”

“Sorry to break it to you, ___, but no one here is that well-dressed.”

“This has been a rough day.”

“Big houses always belong to big whack jobs.”

“Today just got good.”

“Wizards are just old people with glitter in their pockets.”

“Anyways, your food is gone and we are too.”

“Never trust a man in casual drapery.”

“All that mean-spirited laughter made me sleepy.”

“I don’t like this. I really don’t like this.”

“All your food was so tiny and cute.”

“If you can think of a better plan I’d love to hear it.”

“Betrayed by my own cool accessories.”

“I didn’t have to be part of this!”

“I… don’t like this.”

“I think I’ll head home and look at pictures of animals that are still… alive.”

“Wow, you’re so unnoticeable I almost rolled into you.”

“It’s okay, the thorns only went through a few layers of skin.”

“Alright, into the darkness you go.”

“Oh my god, I haven’t eaten real food in so long please give me some.”

“You can’t just cut open a human, can you?”

“Keeping junk in my pocket saved my life!”

“Ahh, baby’s first wanted poster.”

“Even demons have inner demons.”

“This is my paying attention face.”

“Look, now we’re boo boo buddies.”

“It’s like a rainbow, but looking at it turns you inside out.”

“I respect your cunning but I also hate you for it.”

“Oh, gross. Can I keep that?”

“This is terrifying, so why do you look so happy?”

“Oh no, a twist!”

“I’m kind of over that nickname, but okay.”

“Oh, what lovely thing do we have here? It’s just so dang shiny, oh my.”

“And look, I drew flip book.”

“I will literally do anything to stop this.”

“If I’m seen, I could go to jail… again.”

“Alright, let’s see this mess.”

“That’s probably fine.”

“Time to prepare for bloodshed.”

“Welcome down to my level!”

“I know I should be repulsed but that look is fierce.”

“I’m gonna steal everything that’s not nailed down!”

“I was up all night poison tasting and, for some reason, I don’t feel great.”

“I need an extra pair of eyes looking out for pickpockets. And an extra pair of hands in case I want to pickpocket.”

“I got leaves in my pants. And I like it.”

“I was a strange child.”

“You think this can stop me? I can still bite your ankles.”

“If you’re gonna eat me, just do it now!”

“___, you’re getting all swoony again.”

“Rivals are meant to be annihilated, not befriended.”

“Witches eating babies is so 1693.”

“Ugh, you.”

“I thought we were as cool as cucumbers but we’re as sour as pickles.”

“Whoa, I almost passed out.”

“It’s been hours, how can it keep screaming!?”

“Say that again and I steal your tongue.”

“Keep going, this is fun to watch.”

“Isn’t that taking it a bit too far?”

“Just go away before things somehow get worse!”

“This never happened.”

“And who doesn’t like their name in lights?”

“That’s the incorrect reaction!”

“I smell an easy mark.”

“Well, I hate her.”

“It’s like demonic possession with the ones you love.”

“This is just like my favorite early 2000’s movie!”

“I’m so old… and pointy.”

“I’ve got some very confusing emotions right now.”

“My life’s not a joke! But yours is!”

“Novelty costumes are where I draw the line.”

“I am not above disrespecting my elders.”

“This vacation just took an alarming, back-alley turn.”

“Geez, I thought I’d like being babied. But I feel small and helpless, like some sort of baby.”

“Hey, take this, society!”

“I didn’t like her telling me what to do before, but now I love it!”

“Let’s go let out some teen angst!”

“This is how the cool kids ride. Super backwards, on purpose.”

“Your life is pretty terrible. But, hey, it’ll probably be over soon.”

“This is some of my best work, really captures the shame.”

“That’s sweet, kid. Now let’s never speak of this again.”

“Show, don’t tell, man.”

“Oh, look what you did. I’m gonna go rub it in.”

“That seems like a potential problem to me.”

“You being the razzle, I’ll bring the dazzle.”

“Do you always have confetti on you or—?”

“You’re just gonna be unhelpful, huh?”

“Okay, time to run for no particular reason!”

“Oof, I’ve had this nightmare before.”

“Like I’d actually apologize.”

“I want power, and I want drama.”

“Are you ready to give up?”

“I was afraid, I acted stupid.”

“I just wish you told me the truth.”

“You know, it didn’t taste as bad as I thought I would.”

“Impressive, still alive.”

“This is a throne worthy of a tyrant!”

“No, no, keep those sticky hands away.”

“No one wants to see that.”

“Since when are you into sports?”

“Gross, sympathy.”

“Don’t spend all night plotting revenge.”

“Oh, this is an interesting development.”

“I’ll take that weird grumble as a yes.”

“I’m feeling confident about this plan.”

“Trust must be earned.”

“If you run, you’ll just make it harder for yourself!”

“Your pride has destroyed you.”

“So tiny, so angry.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be clean again.”

“If you ever want to search for the truth, I’ll help you.”

“Aww, that’s a horrible lie.”

“Partake of my free snack samples!”

“Why isn’t anyone paying attention to me?”

“A, eww. B, I’m bored. C, I feel like pickpocketing some dork while they browse.”

“I know my good angle.”

“Ugh, what are the basement dwellers doing out in natural sunlight?’

“Hey, there’s more to life than shipping.”

“___, I know you’re trying to help, but I think you’re crossing a line.”

“Ooh, I love punching.”

“You’re ominous, and I like it.”

“And of course you would be here just to be a nuisance.”

“I wanted to compare sunglasses.”

“Fame can really box you in, you know?”

“Besides, if anyone’s putting you down it’s gonna be me.”

“If it’s disappointing in any way I’ll spend the rest of my life trashing it.”

“He scammed us. Can you believe he scammed us?”

“Good entrance. But that outfit? Hah!”

“I’ve got a new crush and her name is education!”

“Ahh, fresh garbage.”

“I have never seen such an extravagant earring.”

“Wow, a surprisingly peaceful domestic moment. When will it be ruined?”

“Weaponizing my pride, well played.”

“Sorry, whoever’s over there!”

“Well, go on. Eat the snow.”

“Huh, it’s no fun if they don’t tremble.”

“Oh, okay, alright. Yup, an idea’s happening.”

“Shh! I don’t need your validation!”

“Get back here before that thing bites you!”

“No, we’re gonna die.”

“Cool. I didn’t actually think you could do it.”

“It’s not a secret.”

“Alright, your adorable banter is literally making me sick.”

“Believe it or not, I’ve seen worse.”

“Aww. I won’t be doing that, but thanks.”

“Quitting: it’s like trying, but easier.”

“You humans are filled with liquids, right?”

“I guess I have always liked pouring things into other things.”

“Time to scrounge through the trash.”

“I ain’t no desk jockey.”

“You don’t know diddly dang about squiddly squat!”

“I love secret rooms!”

“You have an aura of lies.”

“Also, you can eat trash.”

“Do the right thing, you dingus!”

“It just goes on like this for an hour.”

“Carnivals bring crowds and crowds bring suckers.”

“We’ve got scams to run.”

“I know poison when I see it.”

“You can’t scam a scammer.”

“You should really put a lock on your closet.”

“I love crimes!”

“Now this is my kind of weird.”

“That’s way safer than becoming blood brothers.”

“Beat up the man and steal his things for me.”

“This mama is ready for trauma.”

“All right. Approval!”

“Curse these stubby legs!”

“Sketchy carnival rides are not to blame this time.”

“___, you’re lucky I can’t be mad at your adorable antics.”

“Just when I thought I couldn’t respect the law any less…”

“Aww, what a supportive sign.”

“Yep, I just counted to one million.”

“Looks like we ruined his life for a second time.”

“I’ve always wanted to own a jagged piece of cheap metal.”

“Yes! Bread puns, bread puns forever!”

“Now I know what friendship tastes like.”

“I think today is a talons day.”

“It’s fun because it’s stupid.”

“I’ll admit, I was adorable.”

“Be careful with my brain.”

“Wouldn’t you rather talk about it?”

“That’s my motto after all, ‘Out of sight, out of mind.’”

“No schemes, no plots, no ruses. None.”

“I can’t believe I made him cry.”

“Are you solving a crime or about to commit one?”

“Sadly this is one problem crime can’t solve.”

“I’m supposed to choose someone interesting, accomplished, and noteworthy. People aren’t meant to be all those things!”

“Yup, her brain’s burned up real good.”

“Be still my fantasy-loving heart.”

“I’m pretty good at getting stuck inside people’s heads.”

“Hey, I found something magical.”

“I’ma put my face in it.”

“It’s like a little doghouse for angels.”

“If you’re handing out attention, I deserve it.”

“Eww, I mean, aww.”

“I really messed things up.”

“It’s eggs, it’s full of eggs.”

“No one turns down an interview with someone this pretty.”

“Me? Avoid? What? No. But let’s skip it.”

“There’s levels to me, kid. Levels I say!”

“Oh, right, I put people in there.”

“I’m gonna hug you so hard you’ll never forget me again!”

“I regret teaching you about the internet.”

“Ah, a severed hand. Perfect response.”

“Hmm, the demon at my shoulder makes a good point.”

“Always trust a shoulder demon.”

“The more I look at him, the more uncomfortable I get.”

“Man, you’ve got some quick grabbers.”

“I can’t wait to get overdressed, take awkward photos, push all the buttons!”

“We’re gonna turn this bloodbath into a fun bath.”

“Do you think I could pull off red eyeshadow?”

“Girl, you could pull off anything.”

“We’re style geniuses!”

“Ominous footsteps, creepy woods, this is no problem.”

“Dang, I look great.”

“___, you always go overboard and I end up bailing you out.”

“Now, what’s the fun in watching a kid get eaten by a monster if it’s my kid?”

“___, I don’t think you’re ready but we’re literally out of time.”

“Why so twitchy, witchy?”

“Teenagers are brutal. They’ll boo anyone and that kind of public humiliation will stick with you for life.”

“You look nice. Strange, but nice.”

“Honestly, I’m kind of amazed with how fearless you are.”

“You’ve done things I could never do.”

“Thing is, you’re sitting in my personal chitchat zone, which means you gotta talk.”

“I am a little weirdo.”

“You gotta pander.”

“Cheating a isn’t anything to brag about.”

“Well, can’t reason with crazy!”

“I’ve been talking for too long.”

“Feeling sentimental?”

“I love water.”

“I don’t know much about sports but I do know about sports movies.”

“What happens in the montage stays in the montage.”

“Not everything can be solved with a good attitude and a dope movie soundtrack.”

“Sorry, I just really love backstories.”

“You just destroyed your social life.”

“That’s such a stupid rule!”

“You’re not gonna show this to anyone, right?”

“I haven’t forgotten what you promised me.”

“Ahh, you’re a thorn in my side but you always dig your way into my heart.”

“Jeez, you’re morbid.”

“Ahh, it’s a fate much worse than death if you think about it.”

“Please don’t make me regret taking you here.”

“Love me a properly ventilated castle.”

“I spy with my little eye something coming this way!”

“I’m going away and I don’t know if I can come back this time.”

“And  ___, thank you, for being in my life.”

“I want her back as much as you do.”

“Don’t look at me like that, this is for your own good.”

“Ah farts, I got caught.”

“You understand, don’t you?”

“Please tell me that’s not as bad as it sounds.”

“To be great, you have to make sacrifices.”

“Ahh, ___, you chose the wrong side.”

“I like your spirit, but try that again and things won’t end well for you.”

“Go on, then. Go be a hero.”

“I may have lost but so have you.”

“I can teach you what I know, and what we don’t know we can learn together.”

[harukatosgirlfriend]

✿haru kato dating headcannons✿

im only writing this cuz im 90% sure I've read every dating head cannon and haru x reader fanfic so uhm here:) (also don't expect good punctuation or spelling or for it to make too much sense cuz im not good at that stuff)(also im sorry if I accidentally wrote the same hc as you I don't wanna steal or anything its just I might've read it and forgot that I did and all)

‼️slight nsfw warning just so that you know(its all at the end and there's a second warning where it starts if you still wanna read)‼️

✿he's really insecure because he can't buy you big fancy gifts all the time

✿adding to that he doesn't want you to meet daisuke because he's scared you'll leave him for daisuke 

✿he really likes spending time with you and promises to take you on an “official” date once a month (like out to a restaurant or a movie or something)

✿most of your dates are at one of your homes

✿adding to that hell usually cook for you or you'll cook together and then watch a movies or tv shows until you guys both fall asleep or you fall asleep

✿also adding to that if you fall asleep around him hell carry you to bed and tuck you in

✿LOVES CUDDLES

✿he usually likes to be the big spoon but lowkey has a soft spot for when you want to big spoon (especially if you're smaller than him)

✿he wants to act big and tuff all the time but is actually extremely soft

✿HAND HOLDING literally everywhere 

✿like you could be like anywhere and he'd be holding your hand NO MATTER WHAT 

✿he definitely tries to make himself adapt to your music and tv taste to make you happy 

✿definitely hums you to sleep unless he falls asleep first

✿hes a heavy sleeper and definitely talks in his sleep 

✿he loves it when you fall asleep on his chest 

✿INFINTE SOFT HUGS AND KISSES 

✿he literally loves to cook for you 

✿definitely cries at romance movies while you watch them and you laugh at him and he gets all defensive 

✿you guys always get into food fights and laundry fights

✿he asks you to move in 6-7 months into your relationship 

✿y'all definitely cook together and he prolly stands behind and helps guide your hands

✿you took him to an animal shelter to pet and see dogs and you guys play with one for like a couple hours and he begs you to let them get him

✿ever since he met you he started putting away some money in preparation for a future (wedding, home, family, etc)

✿definitely wants kids 

✿you guys will probably end up living in a kinda small kinda run down home to raise kids in but you guys are happy and that's what matters 

✿ACTUALLY KNOWS ABOUT PERIODS

✿he probably did his own research about it(cuz school doesn't teach squat diddly sh*t about women health) just so that he could be a good guy

✿not really related to dating but he's pro choice and a feminist and will try and educate people 

‼️this is where some nsfw happens just so you know‼️

✿isn't really that kinky but the kinks that he does have he's very insecure about

✿prolly has a sub and dom kink but likes to switch it around 

✿I also think he has a breeding kink but is insecure about it so doesn't tell you for a long time

✿definitely wants to have car sex but is scared to ask

✿definitely likes it when you send him nudes but also gets lowkey scared one of his friends might open them 

✿definitely wants to cook with you but like while wearing nothing but aprons😼😼

[empress-of-snark]

Callout post for ‘Crimes of Grindelwald’

AKA: JK Rowling needs to retire.

( @televinita wanted to hear my thoughts, and I decided that even if none of the rest of you do, this is my blog and I’ve been stewing in my feelings for months )

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: The Crimes of Grindelwald was just... an abomination of a movie. It was so bad. It’s right up there with Pacific Rim: Uprising in the land of Bad Sequels. I don’t even know if I can explain all that was wrong with it but I’ll try.

(side note: another reason I’m making this post is cause Cosmonaut just released his video about it and it’s painfully accurate and you should go watch it)

Ok here we go. Here are the two biggest problems:

1. Newt Scamander and Gellert Grindelwald have no business being in the same movie together. They should have nothing to do with each other. In the HP franchise, we know Newt as ‘that guy who wrote one of Harry’s textbooks’ not ‘that guy who was instrumental in bringing down wizard Hitler.’

2. JK Rowling doesn’t know how to deal with the consequences of the first movie, so she just reverses them with no explanation (I’ll get more specific later).

Taking both of these into account, Fantastic Beasts should’ve just been a standalone film, no sequel necessary. Or, if Rowling was so desperate to tell us about Grindelwald, the sequel should’ve shifted focus away from Newt. Much as I love his character, again, he has nothing to do with Grindelwald and shouldn’t be involved in the war at all.

But no. We had to have them both shoehorned in, and this tragedy was the result. I’m just gonna go with a bulleted list of sins now because I don’t have time to write an essay.

(spoilers obviously)

the first ten minutes of the film are dedicated to an elaborate prisoner transport that involves putting Grindelwald in a flying carriage when they could just as easily apparate him somewhere

surprise, he escapes

well, not actually him, cause he actually escaped a long time ago by switching places with a guard who he now rescues for some reason

for some reason the whole magical government (and Dumbledore) wants Newt to go after Grindelwald because??? he’s a zoologist, he’s not qualified at all

also Credence survived literally exploding in the first movie and it’s not even explained how (consequence no. 1 that JKR changes for no reason)

side note here, quick diversion... what exactly is Ezra Miller famous for? It’s like he showed up in the first Fantastic Beasts and everyone was like ‘omg it’s him!!’ Is is just cause of Perks of Being a Wallflower? Am I the only one who didn’t see that movie?

anyway

he’s alive, who cares, and he’s in a magical French circus

why? no one knows. he just is.

he’s with Nagini, one of the shining examples of JKR trying to retroactively diversify her books, and she..... does nothing. for the entire movie. she follows him around and does nothing for the plot.

so now Jacob Kowalski is back and he got his memory back because apparently the spell only erased bad memories but all his memories of magic were good so??

that’s a very ineffective spell

(consequence no. 2 that JKR changes for no reason)

I mean, I get that we all love Jacob and wanted him to come back, but what’s wrong with him slowly regaining his memories throughout the film? re-experiencing magic? falling in love with Queenie all over again?

speaking of Queenie...... hoo boy

it’s revealed that she has Jacob under a love spell (which Newt undoes pretty quickly) so that they can get married

while under said spell, he’s very suggestible and will essentially agree with everything she says

so she drugged him

and if they had sex while he was under that spell, she would’ve been raping him

then she gets mad at him when he calls her crazy

(that’s not even the worst of what she does, just wait)

also Newt’s under a travel ban which means absolutely diddly squat because he just... goes to France anyway and no one even tries to stop him

he’s not even going to get Credence like the government wanted, he’s going because Tina is there and she’s mad at him because of a typo in a newspaper

anyway I forget a lot of what happens because it’s so convoluted, but JKR repeatedly ignores previously-established facts of her universe, like how you can’t apparate inside of Hogwarts, you can’t use the Accio spell on a living creature, muggles can’t see/enter Hogwarts grounds, McGonagall was born in 1935 but was somehow already teaching at Hogwarts as early as 1910

she also develops Moffat syndrome because every woman ever has to be in love with her main character for some reason

like, Newt has an assistant now, who is a woman and who is madly in love with him, because we needed that

she doesn’t even do anything, like I thought she was gonna come back later as a villain cause he never noticed her or treated her right or whatever but no

she’s just there to creepily tell him to take his pants off when he jumps in a lake

also Leta Lestrange is a thing and she’s a pretty all right character, except she’s the product of a white man drugging using a love spell on a black woman and raping her, then she dies in childbirth

Queenie has apparently completely lost the ability to read minds because she never once uses that to her advantage in this entire movie

Grindelwald’s plan is so freakin vague, like at one point he says he wants to kill all the muggles, then he says he wants to enslave them instead, then he’s like ‘I just want a world where everyone can marry who they want’

which uh doesn’t really sound like a villain

so Queenie’s like ‘oh?’ and she

she just

she joins Grindelwald because she believes he’ll let her marry Jacob

because marrying Jacob is apparently her only goal in this franchise now

also Grindelwald says he wants to get rid of muggles because he’s seen the future and... he wants to prevent world war 2

so there’s that

and Leta Lestrange dies for some reason

then Credence finds out that he’s actually Dumbledore’s secret little brother, which also doesn’t make sense in the Dumbledore family timeline established in Deathly Hallows

so there’s that

Anyway, this is longer than I expected, but I also feel like I could’ve kept going. Hopefully I’ve got it out of my system until the next Fantastic Beasts movie comes out. Will I see it? Yeah, probably, if only to complain about it. Because there’s no way they can dig themselves out of this dumpster fire.

[kedreeva]

Hello! I don't mean to open up discourse about constructive criticism but I was recently talking to my bf about the topic and when it should be given, and a lot of my thoughts aligned with your post (/181094522323). However, my bf thinks that criticism is still constructive AFTER publishing the piece bc you can still improve on your work for the next one bc you get feedback. However, I'm not looking for feedback. He doesn't seem to get that and I'm at a loss at this point explaining it to him.

Sorry this took a hot second to reply, but it’s been a hell week. First of all, you can stir up all the discourse you want on this subject, I have a lot of feelings I’m ready to fight about. Before I say anything else, please tell your boyfriend I personally said to fuck off. If you say you don’t want feedback, then you don’t want feedback and no one should give it to you, least of all someone that claims to like you. If he can’t respect you drawing a boundary, then he’s just being an asshole.

Okay, on to the rant:

Here’s the bottom line for criticism and whether it’s helpful or not:

“You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink” and “you cannot help someone that does not want to be helped.”

Your boyfriend isn’t wrong in that feedback after a piece CAN be helpful, but the circumstances/context MATTER.  If you don’t want feedback, then any feedback received is just noise. If you have finished a piece and say to someone “what could I have done better/what can I do better next time” then feedback is potentially helpful, because you have indicated that you are ready/want to receive it, that you intend to have a next time, and that you are ready to use feedback from this story for that next time.

However, there are 2 caveats to this: feedback from non-professionals often is not long-term or universal, and your next time story has to be relevant to this time’s story.

What I mean about the 1st caveat is this: some edits are universal and can be helpful for next time- with the further caveat that the person giving you the feedback has the tools to explain to you what an edit means and how to actually correct your method rather than just correct the instance. It’s the “give a person a fish vs teaching them to fish”  logic. Correcting something once may teach a writer diddly squat about how to prevent it in the future or why it happened this time. For feedback on a finished piece to be useful for next time, an editor has to be able to teach a writer to write, not just give a writer edits.

Additionally, feedback on finished pieces may not be universal. Correcting a typo in THIS story is not going to help you not make a typo in your next story. Correcting the placement of punctuation in one story is unlikely to help you place punctuation in the next story. Correcting the characterization of a character in one story is not going to help you keep a new character in a new story in character. Correcting a continuity error in one story is not going to prevent continuity errors in your next story. There is a negligible chance that you will learn from these one-off edits, but I’ve been writing stories since I could hold a pencil, and unless someone could do like I’ve explained in the previous paragraph and actually teach me WHY I did something and HOW to look out for it in the future, correcting something per story has never improved my writing.

What I mean about the 2nd caveat is this: writing changes throughout fanfiction storywriting in such ways that feedback about one story may have absolutely no relevance to the next story. Let’s say I write a Teen Wolf coffeeshop AU about Derek and Stiles, and there was no Hale fire so Derek grew up differently, and maybe Stiles’ mom never died, so he’s had it easier too. The next story I have planned is a canon-compliant Star Trek gen fic about a diplomatic mission gone wrong. Any advice about characterization, setting, plot, or story voice are going to be practically useless between the first story and the next; it’s a completely different setting with completely different characters and a completely different plot. I may never write another coffee shop AU in my life, or never write about the first two characters ever again.

Additionally, what you want from writing one story may be completely different than what you want from the next, especially if both stories are longer stories. I’ve written a single story over the course of 2 years and I can assure you that my goals for that single story at the beginning of the story were different than my goals at the end of it. After 2 years, I’m no longer even the same person I was at the start of the story, and neither is the world. A story that meant one thing to me 2 years ago when I started it may have no relevance to me now, or mean something completely different.  And it’s very probable that whatever I wanted to get out of the story (to get the story out of my head, to share it with a friend, to feel comforted by what happened in the story or how I felt while writing it or by how I felt to finish it, to use it as a warm up for something else, to have fun doing something creative, to see if I could bend some rules, to try out a new style, to spend more time in a universe I didn’t want to leave just yet, to answer a challenge, to push limits of characterization for a particular favorite character, just to see how these characters would react if X happened, and a thousand other personal reasons), I have already gotten and moved on. If I need further assistance, I’ll ask for it. If I haven’t asked for it, then I don’t need or want it, and it will absolutely be of no help to me.

For feedback to be useful after it is complete, the writer has to be open to receiving the feedback in the first place, and it HAS to be universal AND relevant between stories, and it has to be delivered in a way that teaches a behavior that can be permanently retained by the writer (which 99.9999999999% of “constructive criticism” left on fanfiction doesn’t and CAN’T do).

Otherwise it’s just self-important wanking on the part of the feedback giver, who is trying to show you that they know more than you/are better than you, and no one likes that kind of behavior.

[shymaidxn]

Diantha’s Abilities/Skills

I’ve just thought that maybe I should post exactly what I headcanon as Diantha’s skills and abilities in her main verse on here (which is very long so get a bit comfy), which is traveling with the crew just to be a part of the crew and discover/journal about new islands, not the canon of her training to be Head Priestess like in her sr side stories or ssr side stories (that’s a different verse here where she’s allowed to stay on Xochitl Island~). In both, though, Xolotl does understand Diantha’s inner desire to explore the outside world and gives Diantha, which is very important because:

1 - Prolouge to explaining things) Diantha joins the crew of her own wants, not through Xolotl communicating to her that she must leave the island for a bit. Diantha here is unlike her sr and ssr in that it’s not Xolotl’s initial push that gets her off the island, but her own soul searching to realize that she wants to see the outside world after being on Xochitl Island for so long and being a bit confined-feeling in parts of her life. And she decides this right before the crew of the Grandcypher leaves after the event, trusting them greatly and wanting them to be the crew that she travels with. It’s a decision that would obviously leave the rest of the maidens and Bishop shocked, but ultimately understand her desire; as does Xolotl, voiced through Diola (because she’s super like that y’know?) and Lyria through her new connection with the primal beast. Which leads to ---

2 - How she has powers at all) Diantha keeps her singing powers when she joins the crew, it’s just...Different. What I mean by that is, since Diantha in her main verse is no longer a maiden and no longer very associated with the whole ritual except cheering for her friends, Diantha’s kind of maiden powers would be gone or very weak at best instead of “surprisingly intact” like in her cards. Though Bishop and everyone else already knows this and show concern, Diantha would state that she could handle herself and still do whatever she could to help the crew, and even if Xolotl can sense in his friend that she’s clearly uneased by the thought, her resolve and desire never wavers. Feeling that, and for Diantha being stupid selfless in trying to save her island and Xolotl by herself earlier, that’s when Xolotl gives her his blessing in a different way; infusing a bit of his primal energy into Diantha (my thought is he suddenly appears and boops his gigantic nose onto her head and then whamo~). It’s not a huge amount, seeing as how Diantha is not like Lyria in primal beast energy suction by any means, but 3~5% is certainly enough for Diantha to be basically as powerful as a maiden (maybe even a tad more)...When she can muster a word at least. Which leads to ---

3 - How her power works) Diantha’s singing powers very much fluctuate depending on her feelings, with some skills working much better than others in some instances, and not working at all if she’s unable to properly sing or if there’s no confidence/emotion behind her voice. For my Diantha, in a fight scenario, imagine her having the skills of her summer ssr, except her charged attack is just her instead of all of the girls, since that’s the more available one to people and it coincides with the later headcanons on here~.  A game-mechanic explanation can be summed up like this: If she’s calm and collected, then all of her skills are applied in the best case scenario, her charged attack is used, and everything is okie dokie cow pokie~ If her confidence and happiness is through the wazoo (aka very high), everything in her roster is greatly boosted which, in turn, helps the crew bunches~~~ If she’s mad/angry, Standing Ovation and Onstage are greatly boosted, as is her charge attack, but no other skills (support or otherwise) can be activated. If she’s scared for herself/for the crew’s safety, or sad/grieving, but still able to sing, all of her support skills are greatly boosted, as well as Summer Encore gaining a faster cool down, but no other skills will work and she won’t use her charge attack. If she’s a mix of scared/mad/sad, but can still sing (very extremely rare; probably only possible if say danchouorsomeoneshelovesisdyingordeadlike /shot, and she just sings instead of screaming), everything is boosted like at her happy/confident one but 100% more, but it only lasts probably three turns before she passes out from a literal internal overload, and damages herself (the amount of damage dependent on how all out she goes; if she uses all her skills and her charged attack, she might be out for awhile). If she physically can’t sing, then none of her skills are used, including support, her charged attack can’t be used, and she’s kind of a damsel in distress.

3.5 - Resonating Wand and Tlepilli) Diantha can sing with out the resonating wand and still get almost the same results thanks to Xolotl’s blessing/primal energy infusion~, though she still uses it if she needs a mental boost herself. Any danchou having a tlepilli will actually increase her boosts by at least 10% (though i doubt anyone would actually fight with those) and she actually has a tlepilli of her color in her bag that alone gives her a bit of a happy boost (or could help light the way in a cave or something).

A tl;dr, and also just for writing purposes, of all of 3) and 3.5), is that her feelings and confidence level with her singing can either greatly boost the crew in different ways or do diddly squat. When she first joins the crew it’s definitely no singing or scared singing at first when it comes to actual people (the empire or any event villain you prefer~) because she’s at least a tad used to seeing monsters and being defended from monsters, but then a real bandit sticks a gun up her nose and she’s so scared; poor sweet daughter;;. She gets used to it over time, of course, but it takes awhile, and add it on with her insecurities still kind of haunting her at first and even when she’s gaining confidence she still feels like she could be doing something much more useful and feels kind of like a burden for not being even a decent fighter. It weighs on her mind a lot, but the anxiousness and internal struggle of that eventually turns into a new resolve, and so ---

4 - Her other prominent skill) Diantha, along with still doing some instrument practice, also now practices herbalism and first aid, basically becoming another nurse to the crew. She knows that the fighter life is certainly not for her, so what she deems a more meaningful support role is what she goes for. Thinking about it, probably one of the first things she does with this new resolve is to look to people like Jasmine and ask to be taught all they know, something she’s probably wary on when first joining because she wants to pull her own weight, but something she knows will be important for this new goal in her mind. And she writes everything down; a whole shelf and stack are dedicated to either books they’ve given her/she’s bought from Sierokrate, or to the loads of journals with all her notes and sketches. She reserves the biggest pouch in her satchel for herbal medicines and first aid supplies. The first time she gets sick while this is going on, she refuses to let anyone baby her except for the ones who are helping her learn, and they teach her and help her make medicines (but then also put her to bed because this fervent studying was probably what did it yeah). But she gets great at it; by WMTSB2 she’s dual jobs of support and taking care of wounded, and by WMTSB3 (*birdaphon flashbacks*) knowing almost exactly what to do in any given situation...And it makes her feel really fulfilled too. She’s on good terms with her music by then, and feels really integral to the crew, and all anxiousness or concerns about it are almost completely out the window.

And so that’s the abilities/skills headcanons I have for diantha’s main verse~ Hope you liked reading bunches~

[snaggerleo]

"Do you like the Pokémon trading card game?"

Leo looked up from his squatting position, brows furrowed while he tried to determine if the question was some kind of trick. Then again, he had been squatting in front of a modest display of trading cards in a Poké Mart. It was a normal supply stock-up when a couple of cards, Espeon and Umbreon inside a blister pack, had caught his eye. The guy bothering him looked somewhere in his late teens, in a long-sleeved red shirt, sleeves rolled up. Fingerless gloves and a red bandana. The long-sleeve was open to show off a short-sleeved shirt underneath it. Typical trainer fashion, comfortable layers for walking around in.

“I don’t play.” Leo dismissed his comments and turned back to the cards briefly, before leaning on his knees to stand up straight again. “Doesn’t seem like there’s much point when you could just be training Pokémon.”

The stranger laughed and shrugged that off. “That’s like asking why play chess when you could just become a knight and corner a queen.”

“Not the worst career path I’ve heard.”

That earned a chuckle. “Step outside, let’s have a friendly. If you lose, I’ll buy you those cards and teach you the basics of the game.”

That got a suspicious eye from Leo, who didn’t trust free things, but still liked them. And he wasn’t one to turn a battle down anyway. Even if he wasn’t one for card games, there were worse ways to waste time. “If I win, you can buy me a hot dog instead.” It was cheaper than the cards and would benefit him more, so it felt like a fair exchange.

The stranger laughed again. “Name’s Mark. Let���s make it a good one!”

The parking lot was spacious enough for a battle, as long as they didn’t get too over the top. Signs posted around warned against the use of Fire-type attacks, and any Pokemon with external flames were similarly banned from the premises. Mark took a well-worn, downright old-fashioned looking Pokéball from his pocket and let it loose - a Hitmonchan breaking out of the ray of light and jabbing the air a few times before beginning to bounce on his toes. Leo had to admit he was right; the relatively tight quarters were ideal for close attackers. He tossed a Great Ball, and a Hariyama touched down with a heavy thud. Palm on the ground, eyes forward, greeting its opponent properly.

Hotel brought himself to a standing position, hands out defensively, and there was a few seconds of tension while the two Pokémon both waited for their opponent to make the first move. “Comet Punch!” Hitmonchan broke the tension by rushing in, quick boxer’s feet closing the distance while his arms kept up a guard. Once close enough, his fits jabbed out, again and again, slamming into Hariyama’s palms while trying to feel out an opening. Hotel’s defense was solid, but the Hitmonchan’s attacks hurt, and he couldn’t keep guarding with his hands if he wanted to hit anything with them. Or touch things for the next several hours.

Blam. Blam. Blam. Blam. The punches rang out, leather on tough skin, and Hotel was actually forced back from the raw strength. “Push ‘em back!” Leo shouted, and Hotel went on an offensive of his own - those heavy hands slamming forward, cutting the momentum of Hitmonchan’s fists short before slamming into his body. Two, three times, before Hitmonchan was willing to give up ground to avoid the attacks.

“Out of his range, out of his range!” Mark shouted, throwing his arms to his right side to guide Hitmonchan into strafing. Hotel had short arms, his attacks could only reach as far as his hands could. Dodging quickly, Hitmonchan was able to land a heavy blow against Hotel’s side, but his body was strong. The benefit of sumo. Hitmonchan kept piling on hard hooks, and Hotel seemed barely fazed, able to wrap hands around him and straight up lift Hitmonchan off the ground and deliver a good toss against a nearby chain link fence.

Hotel didn’t need to be told to follow up. He leaned down and rushed forward, slamming the ball of his palm against Hitmonchan’s body, threatening to force him through the metal fence - bending it backwards, a hair’s breadth from tearing. Desperate, the Hitmonchan threw its head forward, connecting a headbutt against his opponent and leaving him dizzy so he had the room to counter.

Headbutts were technically illegal in boxing, but his opponent wasn’t a boxer, so you did what you could.

Hotel stepped backward, flinching while the world spun around him. Hitmonchan got his feet under him, slid forward, and pounded a hook against the side of Hariyama’s ear. Sound went away after that, just a loud ringing that became the soundtrack to a dizzy world. One more hard straight into Hotel’s forehead sent him reeling backward, a heavy blow to the top of a bottom-heavy Pokémon sending him reeling backward like a bop clown. Hotel hit the ground with another impressive thud, falling onto his back and needing a minute to recover.

This forced an appreciative whistle out of Leo. “Not bad, not bad one bit. You don’t see a lot of high power Hitmonchan.”

“I only have a few Pokémon that I’ve been training hard for a long time now! Their cards were big time in the card game back in the day!”

Leo pursed his lips. That was probably a good clue to the rest of his team make-up, but he didn’t know dick diddly about card games. Time to go for what worked in normal battles. A flash of light, and Leo’s Espeon touched down, looking poised, watching Hitmonchan like a hawk - spry limbs ready to jump out of the way if his opponent made a move.

Mark wasn’t biting though. Hitmonchan returned to its ball, and a Scyther came out. Echo didn’t waste the opportunity to get in a free hit, a cannonball of kinetic energy, almost invisible if not for the warped light, slammed against the Scyther. It reeled backward, body not strong enough for heavy Psychic attacks, but wasn’t down yet. A problem. Scyther’s wings kicked up dust, filling the air with noise almost like a chopper. The distance between it and Echo was closed almost instantly, with sharp blades spinning and whirling around or thrusting forward to try and control the Espeon’s positioning. Faster than even that Hitmonchan. Leo’s eyes narrowed while he watched, commanding Echo through a defense. Were all of his Pokemon trained like boxers? Interesting technique. Most people would assume Scyther would benefit from sword training, but it can’t hold a sword like something with wrists. Haymakers were the way to go.

If Echo could get in just one more hit, this Scyther would be toast, but he needed space to form up his attacks, and the pressure wasn’t stopping. Leo thought about a pun involving its special Swarm ability being utilized well as a boxer, and immediately wanted to die for having thought it. Echo had to get out. This rushdown style was his exact weakness, and part of why he relied on a teammate in doubles.

The Espeon vanished mid-attack, and his Hitmontop spun into place, kicking the Scyther’s blades away before landing more rapid kicks into his chest. Scyther was actually forced out, but Hitmontop didn’t lose momentum, spinning right into him to keep forcing his attacks out - a powerful defense and offense all in one. Scyther resisted the attacks well, but his stamina couldn’t beat the fresh Hitmontop’s. Hitmontop handsprung off the ground, slamming his entire body into Scyther’s chest once he was open enough, sending the insect to the ground.

Scyther vanished into light and was immediately replaced. There was very suddenly an electrified fist slamming against Hitmontop’s body, not caring at all about either his offense or defense, just one powerful blow that sent Hitmontop reeling across the ground. Electricity crackled around his body while Hitmontop slowed in his spin. “Damn, damn damn...” Leo muttered under his breath. Hitmontop was an outboxer. Scyther was a swarmer. That made this Electabuzz a slugger, who didn’t care at all about balanced fighters. Your defense had to be impeccable or you were going to hurt.

“Get in there!” Hitmontop had to keep up the pressure. He raced forward again, picking up more spinning momentum to add force to his attacks, hard kicks hammering the Electabuzz one after another. Being that close was to Electabuzz’ favor, though. The side of his electric fist powered into Hitmontop’s body - kicks nailing his forearm to bruise it, but not enough to stop the attack, another thunderous haymaker sending him hurdling away. More crackling electricity. The static wasn’t letting Hitmontop perform at his best.

And then Electabuzz did something he’d forgotten Mark’s Pokemon would even be capable of; he gathered electricity in his palm and threw it, a thunderbolt slamming into Hitmontop at range, just one more tool to punish his opponents for not getting in where he needed them to be. Hitmontop was fried. Leo returned him; all he had left was this Espeon.

But Echo had an advantage now. “Set up the offense!” Echo’s eyes flashed, and Electabuzz fired off another Thunderbolt. Not a big deal. Echo had more training than Hitmontop, and could take ranged hits better. He was built to. “Fire!” Another Psychic cannonball slammed into the Electabuzz while he tried closing the gap himself, and he went down.

Scyther immediately tagged in, and went on the usual rush, not wanting to give Espeon time to fire off an attack. But Electabuzz already had. Before Scyther could get close enough to swing, more kinetic energy appeared from nowhere, slamming Scyther into the ground, enough damage to finish the battle. Future Sight saves the day again.

“Whew!” Mark sighed out while wiping his forehead. “Can’t be mad about a battle like that! You beat our tactics! Boxing has its flaws, but it’s worked for us alright so far. You’re a great trainer. No wonder somebody like you doesn’t need outside hobbies.”

“You’re talking too much.” Leo cut him off while kneeling down beside Espeon, treating his partner’s wounds with some fresh berries from a pouch in his coat. Echo slowly ate, getting enough stamina back for proper treatment later. “You’re a good trainer too. Focusing on fewer Pokemon doesn’t make you less talented. Recognizing your limits is an important skill.”

“Guess I owe you lunch, huh?” Mark returned his Scyther and stepped over to offer Leo a handshake.

“Looks like it. But I think I’ll get those cards anyway, and you can teach me how they work while we eat.” He put on a playful smirk and accept that handshake, before they walked back into the convenience store together.

And were promptly kicked out for battling in the parking lot and wrecking the owner’s fence.

[texasdreamer01]

I think the biggest problem with figuring out what stone Erebor is made out of (or indeed any of these mountains, except maybe the Iron Hills) is that wotsit just plopped a mountain range atop the land as a way to basically throw a tantrum

#whichever wotsit it is I can’t remember #blame the valar! they’re usually behind most fuck-ups in middle earth anyway #if not the first elves but then blame eru because he didn’t teach them diddly-squat #not even language! that was ulmo! #admittedly he scared the piss out of those elves at first but he apologized for it #also- does it even state in the /books/ that erebor is green? or is that something jackson added in himself for Drama?