#and he is infinitely more palatable that way

[stsgooo]

Subconscious Reassurance.

✩࿐ summary: even the strongest has dreams he longs to be reality.

warning(s): slight 236 spoilers, shibuya incident spoilers, mentioned death, poor coping mechanisms, lovesick!gojo, girldad!gojo, as usual not proofread (it’s 2 am give me a break). wc; 3.6k

pairing(s): gojo satoru x reader

a/n: keep seeing tiktoks about the lamp story and this came to me. it’s a shortie but i just wanted to get this out. also do we prefer the colorless manga panels or the ones like the above one? i was messing with filters on picsart so lmk :)

divider 1 | previous work | ao3

SATORU ARRIVED HOME EXACTLY 7 PM.

He knew it was true because that’s the time he always arrived. There was no need to glance at the clock or question anyone around him. He knew it was 7PM.

The sun was peeking through the curtains and basking your shared home in a golden hue. Warmth enveloped his very being as he closed the front door behind him. There wasn’t a surface that wasn’t being touched by the sun, that wasn’t feeling the same feelings he did.

The sky outside was illuminated in a mixture of purples, reds, oranges, and pinks. A palate that could be implemented into his very soul and he’d smile in return.

“Daddy!”

The call was familiar and came exactly one minute after Satoru walked through the door.

Again, he didn’t need to glance, he just knew.

A smile blossomed on his lips and he crouched down to catch the little girl that jumped into his arms with a loud squeal. Her nose pressed into her cheek as she happily rambled about how much she missed him. A norm and a routine that he greeted happily with his own reassurances that he missed her infinitely more.

"Daddy," she whined, her tiny chubby fingers reaching up for his blindfold. "Can't see your eyes, daddy."

This happened every night after he arrived home. She would always frown and trace her nails over where his eyes would definitely be. Most of the time it was uncomfortable and, frankly, a little scary, but he always welcomed it with an overly dramatic gasp.

"Oh, sorry, daddy forgot!" He hooked his finger under the fabric and pulled it down to rest against his neck. Her eyes (which were his) met his and brightened considerably. "Is that better, Rie?"

Rie nodded enthusiastically. "Yes!"

Despite the aching behind his right eye, Satoru kept the blindfold off for Rie’s sake. She had always expressed her upmost displeasure for the item since she was a baby. Crying and crying until he finally pulled it off. It’d been a rough first few years trying to get used to pulling the thing off whenever he got home. But he’d grown accustomed to it.

“What’s mama up to?” Satoru asked softly, tracing his finger briefly over the bridge of Rie’s nose as she giggled.

The little girl swayed slightly in his arms. “Mama’s been working in the eating room—“ dining room, Satoru softly corrected with a smile, “—she put on on Yuki for me to watch while she worked.”

“Yuki, huh? Lucky you!” He playfully pinched her cheek which resulted in her swatting his hand with a resounding “daddy!” in protest. Satoru adjusted her on his hip and raised an eyebrow. “Should we go bother mommy?”

Like usual, Rie enthusiastically nodded in response.

Poor you.

True to his routine, he made his way from the front door towards the dining room, loudly. He left no room for you to not hear him coming him and gave you ample opportunity to prepare for his and Rie’s interruption on your precious work (he swore you were almost as bad as Nanam— …. as… as…).

The smile on his lips didn’t falter as his mind trailed away from the forgotten name. What was forgotten obviously wasn’t entirely important. He enthusiastically turned the corner, arm thrown out as Rie squealed happily as his rather jerky movements.

You were as you always were. Responsible. In your usual space occupying your rightful position.

Despite the loud (dramatic) entrance he made, you did not react in anyway. Your eyes were glued to your screen as you furiously typed away a response to whoever got on your bad side today. It wasn’t an unfamiliar sight. In fact, this should’ve been around the time Gakuganji of Ya— someone of higher standing emailed you something that didn’t sit right with you. Even the appearance of your amazing and rambunctious husband didn’t seem to deter you from your mission.

Satoru pouted, huffing as he peacefully placed Rie down (the girl now more interested in the TV returning to her show), and crept closer to you. Still, you did not look away.

He leaned over, his chin hooked over his shoulder as he peeked over the words you were putting out into the world. Oddly, he couldn’t read any of the screen. He tried squinting your eyes and blinking a few times— nothing. It was more reminiscent of gibberish than any Japanese he knew. None of it seemed to stay in one place and it all smashed together to create a blob.

You knew how to read and write, he knew that much. Was it something with his eyes? He doubted it. But something wasn’t—

The laptop clicked close.

“You’ve never been one to take a hint, Satoru,” you turned your head to place a soft kiss against his temple in greeting. He could feel your tiny smile against his skin. The warmth of your lips. The coolness of your silvia left behind. His chest ached. He missed— missed? “Although, I knew that before I married you.”

He pushed away the mud in his mind and turned his head, placing a peck against your lips. Strawberries. You always had remnants of strawberries on your lips. Rie’s favorite fruit.

“I think it’s one of my many charming qualities.” He hummed.

You rolled your eyes, but placed a chaste kiss against his lips once again. “Charming is pushing it.” You patted his cheek. “It’s definitely an interesting characteristic.”

Satoru pouted. “You make it sound so unappealing.”

“Well, if the shoe fits…”

He snorted in response, standing to his full height and peeking at you from over his nose. “You know, you’re not innocent either. Thought you said the TV would rot her brain, now you’re putting it on to keep her distracted?” He spared a glance to where Rie was hanging off the couch, upside down, her eyes glued to the television.

You shot him an incredulous look. “Because she’s your daughter and has the self restraint of a puppy. I needed a hour to get some things done.” You pat the top of your laptop. “Sue me.”

Satoru smirked. “I just might for emotional damages.” He gestured towards the laptop with a vague hand. “What exactly had you typing up a storm?”

There was a brief wave of giddiness in his chest when he saw the look in your eyes darken. Passion. Anger. Protectiveness. There were so many things he loved about you. Adored you for. Made him sick to his stomach whenever he thought about it.

“Well, I got an email from —— about some work in Shibuya, but I told him I already checked it out and suffered for it. Well, guess what he said? ——— and ———— suffered too so I can’t complain much. Set me off a bit, had to give him a piece of my mind and remind him what happened.”

Satoru wasn’t sure if he was having a stroke or he was just too awestruck by your beauty; but he swore that your voice simply stopped whenever you spoke names. As if your voice box couldn’t get it out. But you carried on like it was nothing. Your lips had even formed around the words that so desperately wanted to be out there, but were never uttered. You didn’t look panicked or disturbed. If anything, you looked normal. Just sipping from your capri sun that was definitely forced on you by Rie.

It was like he was the only one not hearing it.

It vaguely concerned him, but he was also Gojo Satoru. Sometimes weird things happened that had no explanation.

“But,” you continued once you swallowed down the fruit punch liquid with a twisted face. “I suppose I can’t really blame anyone for what happened. It was Halloween, we were all caught off guard. Some of us suffered for it more than others.”

Satoru, for the life of him, couldn’t recall what happened on Halloween. But he should. He had that overwhelming feeling that he really, really should.

Either way, he gave a nonchalant shrug, “Eh, my motto is that it’s always easier to forgive and forget.” He snatched the remainder of your capri sun and gave a loud slurp.

You grin, resting your chin on your cupped fingers. “I suppose so.” You eyed him warmly, then nodded to the chair next to you. Always warm. Always welcoming. “Now, what did you get up to today?”

Satoru groaned, flopping onto the seat with a creak. He placed the capri sun down to place his hands against his face. “Two specials grades in Iwate, one grade one in Kagawa, then three nasty things leeching off on the playground on the way home.” He knew he should feel exhausted. He usually did. But that day, this day, he did not. If anything, he felt well rested.

Odd.

You hum softly. “They’re overworking you, Satoru,” your tone is barely there. Your words could be missed if the house had any movement or loud noises. But it was just you and him. The soft background noises of your daughter. Always you and him. “They should recognize that you’re just a man. One day it’ll be too much. One day you’ll snap in half.”

Satoru frowned, finding the sudden shift in tone a little unsettling. “I’m the strongest, no need to worry.” He waved a passive hand in the air between you.

“I’ll always worry. It’s been my job to worry.” Your eyes moved towards Rie almost melancholic. “She’ll worry too, you know. She does worry. More than she should at 10.”

Satoru frowned deeper. “Eh…?” He blinked slowly, eyes sliding to Rie with confusion. 10? Was he crazy? Blind? Since when was the little girl sitting on the couch 10? Last he checked, she was six. It was 2012. Were you losing it on him? Was this your subtle way of telling him you’re spiraling again? “Baby, she is not—“

“I know you worry too. Think you’ve been worried about losing since the moment you got home.”

Losing? He’s never lost. Well, except those few times. But they didn’t count. Those were intentional loses.

Satoru was beginning to feel as though you both were having two different conversations. “Y/N, I’m not following.” He stated softly, eyebrows furrowed.

“What do you have to do tomorrow, Satoru?” You breezed through as if you knew where that was going. A pensive expression on your face now.

Again, he frowned, narrowing his eyes. “Tomorrow? I…Well, I’m going to Shinjuku to… to…” To…what…? What was it he had to do? He could feel it deep in his chest. That ache. That unfamiliar emptiness that made him rub over his heart softly. There was something he was missing.

“Tomorrow’s going to be romantic,” You said wistfully, eyes distant as you sighed. “Well, it’s supposed to be.”

December 24th.

December 24th. So I don’t have to remember two different dates.

How romantic.

Satoru felt his gut churn. He wasn’t sure why. He couldn’t explain it but everything felt so tight now.

“I’m not.. I don’t…?”

Why couldn’t he get words out. Why did he stare at you like that? Unmoving, unblinking? Why did his eyes collect with tears.

Why did you look so sad?

You reached out, taking his hand. It’s cold. It feels cold. Not like the usual warmth that envelopes him whenever you held him. Whenever you reached out from him.

You’re cold.

You take his hand. “Satoru, what’s happening tomorrow?”

Seriously, what is with you?

Satoru clenched his jaw. “What are you doing?” He wasn’t sure why but he felt so unnerved. He felt like he’s been disillusioned. As if his world was crumbling. But he didn’t get it. He didn’t understand.

You’re cold.

You looked briefly disappointed in his response. “You’re not well. You’re trying to appear to be, but you’re not. She worries. She’s so worried. And you know it.” Your hand reached out and cupped his cheek. Your cold thumb gently stroked against his bone, against the tears that were flowing— why was he crying?

“I’m fine. Just a little tired.” He didn’t feel tired. “I just need a nap.” He didn’t feel tired.

“Oh, Satoru, I’m so sorry,” you uttered it, barely audible. But it was enough to conjure up an earth shattering sob from his chest. A heartbroken tremble under your touch. “I’m so sorry for leaving you.”

“You’re right here?” Confusion was clear in his tone and his expression as he stared back at you.

You just smiled sadly in response.

He shook his head. “You’re right here.” He prided a finger against your chest. Firm. But cold.

You tilted your head and blinked slowly at him.

Satoru wasn’t sure why, but he took in as deep breath. Like he couldn’t quite catch it in the first place.

“You didn’t— You’re right here!” He desperately clutched onto your hand, pressing your skin against his own. “You’re right here. This-This is real. This-This is you. Please. Please, this is you.”

You only stared sadly in response.

Satoru wasn’t sure what was happening. Why he was so panicked or why he felt so terribly sad— but he knew it was making him quiver and sob. Why? Why? Why did this all have to happen to you? Of all people had you been the one to suffer?

What suffering?

“I…” He felt breathless. Feather light. He felt like he had no control of his lips or his tongue. “Tomorrow I fight… Sukuna…?”

Sukuna? Since when? When did—

“Since before Shibuya. Since before Itadori Yuji.” You answered his thoughts.

Itadori Yuji. Satoru thought that name sounded familiar. A blank face appeared in his mind, the back of a pink hair head facing him. Itadori Yuji.

He felt like he was living someone else’s life. As if he were placed in some point in space where nothing bad could touch it.

But these feelings, these tears, this ache in his chest wasn’t peaceful. It wasn’t safe from the darkness of the world.

“Nanami… Yaga… Nobara…” You uttered the names that made his ears ring. That made his muscles tense and his heart sputter to a catastrophic halt. “But still you dream of Suguru…. of me…. of the lives you desperately want to hold on to.”

Suguru… you…

Satoru’s lips quivered.

Suguru… you….

“Why?” You asked the million dollar question.

Breathless whispers against sweat slick skin. Endless touches of tense muscle. Hair hanging and tickling. Eyes sure and hardened with undoubted honesty.

Why? Satoru thought that question was dumb. Why would the earth dream to reach out for the moon and the sun?

He stared at you, big blue eyes glittering with shimmering tears. “I’m the strongest… I should’ve saved the ones I loved… I should’ve… I’m the strongest.”

To be whole. To be loved. To love.

You sigh softly. Sadly. “Satoru, you can’t save everyone.”

“But I could.”

“Obviously not.”

The words were final. Absolute. No doubt. And he supposed, a deep part of him knew, you were right.

But that other part of himself. The one that hated himself for what happened, for whatever happened, convinced him otherwise.

“You don’t—“

“Get it?” You raised an eyebrow at his blink. “I’m your subconscious. I’m your deepest, most personal thoughts. I get it.”

Satoru stared in return. “…huh?”

You pressed your lips together. “Satoru, you’re the strongest. But you don’t always have to be.” You whispered if. A nefarious secret between the both of you that couldn’t be touched. That couldn’t be shared outside of this setting. You scoot closer in your chair. You’re slotted between his legs. “There’ll come a time where you need to step back. To rest. And let those you’ve guided this far to do their jobs.”

Resting. Stepping back.

No one had ever spoken those words to him before. It was never a guarantee nor was it ever a possibility. He feared, even now, he couldn’t even dream about something like that.

Are you the strongest because you’re Gojo Satoru? Or are you Gojo Satoru because you’re the strongest?

Years later, Satoru didn’t know what to make of his words. But Suguru had always known him better, he supposed.

Distracted, he didn’t realize you had started to card your fingers through his hair, bringing his head against your shoulder. It was a blissful moment when he came to his senses. When he felt your fingers ghost his scalp. When he felt your lips brush against his temple.

“You should take a nap, you look tired.”

The moment the words left your lips, his eyes felt heavy and he felt exhausted. He hadn’t felt tired before. He would love to sleep. But…

“What about you?” He whispered, eyes unmoving from your face. He studied the bow of your lips. The softness and warmth of your eyes. The faint blush across your cheeks. The little wrinkles on your forehead. “If I close my eyes, you’ll be gone.”

“No,” you shook your head and placed your free hand against his rapidly beating heart. “I’ll be here.”

How cliche. He wanted to say. But he would take it. He’d take and savor any moment with you.

He took in a shuddering breath. “I love you.”

“I love you.” No hesitation. No doubt. How could this be a dream? Something of his own mind? He nuzzled into your neck with a small sigh. “Take care of her.”

Take care of her.

Take care of her.

Satoru woke with a soft gasp.

He was not happy or surprised to find the ceiling of his dark room instead of the dining room.

The clock next to his bed illuminated 2AM in angry red outline. He’d been asleep for approximately 4 hours. And dreamt of you. Again.

His jaw clenched as he tried to push down the tears that threatened to spill over. You, angelic, in your rightful place typing away. That’s what you should be doing.

Instead, you were one of the first to die in Shibuya.

It’d been you, then Nanami, then Nobara, then whoever else.

She got caught up with Noritoshi in the tunnels, that Death Womb Painting kid tried to explain to Satoru when everyone else had been too distraught and nervous to reveal it themselves. She didn’t suffer.

It didn’t bring him comfort. Satoru was pretty sure it was a lie, but it still brought him no comfort.

It gave him all the more reason to make Kenjaku suffer.

December 24th.

Today was the day.

Almost two months since your death. Christmas Eve.

Satoru was pretty sure he was about to do the same. Embrace death for the sake of others.

He could look around, tell all of them that he’d win, but there was that growing inkling that this was mounting up against him. That Sukuna— Megumi— knew exactly what to do to get one up on him. He feared the unknown. The possibility this was it.

What would you say?

“Dad?”

Satoru’s eyes dragged from the ceiling and to the spot next to him.

Now 10, Rie was older and less rambunctious. But he blamed that partly on your death and his sudden sealing.

She had clung to him since he returned. Tears streaming down her face as she hugged him, begged him to never go again— she thought she’d lost him just like mama. (It’d been six years since he heard her call you mama.) And she slept in his bed. Said she couldn’t sleep otherwise. She’d curl up against him and he’d run his hands through her hair as he hummed a long forgotten lullaby to guide her to sleep.

Shoko said she needed this. Him.

Satoru knew she needed you.

“Rie, did I wake you?” He asked sympathetically.

“No,” surprisingly, it sounded like the truth. “I’ve been up.”

He frowned, “Why?”

There was a prolonged pause between them. A thick layer of hesitation passed and Satoru tensed up. What could she possibly be up for?

When he heard the small sniffle, his heart ached.

He sat up and drew her into his arms, holding her close as he pressed kisses against her head. “Hey, hey, why are you crying?”

“I don’t want you to die!” Rie sobbed immediately. “I don’t want you to fight stupid Sukuna! I just want you to stay here with me— I can’t lose you too!”

I can’t lose you too.

Satoru pressed his lips together as tears sprung to his eyes. “Rie, I’m not going to die.” Such sure words for a man who was worried over his own mortality only moments ago. Who had to be reassured by his subconscious image of his dead wife that it’s okay to lose.

Rie shook her head frantically. “No! I heard Kusakabe say you will!” She sobbed, clutching onto his night shirt with a vice like hold.

Satoru silently cursed the man as he rubbed Rie’s back. “I’m not going anywhere, okay? What does Kusakabe know anyway, the schmuck?” His poor attempt at joking fell flat, Rie only continued to cry. With a heavy sigh, Satoru pulled back, holding her face in his hands. “What do I always say, hm? I’m the strongest. I’ll get one up on him.”

Rie stared up at him and Satoru was painfully aware of how young she was. “You promise?” She uttered.

Satoru hesitated.

If he were to promise and it didn’t actually work out, who was he? Would she resent him for the rest of her life? Would she try to forget him and spit on his memory? He’d been promised many things in life by people he looked up to and every single one had been broken. Resentment festered. Trust was broken.

What kind of father was he if he—

Take care of her. She worries.

Satoru tucked some of her hair— your hair— behind her ear. “I promise.” He whispered, pressing a tender kiss against her forehead. “I promise.”

Rie clutched onto him once again. “I love you.”

No hesitation.

“I love you too.”

The worries of Sukuna and Kenjaku could wait until morning. Satoru had to focus on her now.

Take care of her.

[hellenhighwater]

Hi Hell, congrats on the exciting foster kitten news!

I just applied to adopt a kitten and had my interview for her today. The woman seemed most interested in convincing me of how terrible dry food, traditional litter (she preferred clay), and tap water is for cats. She said the carbohydrates and ingredients were terrible for their kidneys, the dust in litter is bad for their lungs, and the chlorine in water is harmful. I have a 12 year old cat named Scipio who has been using those things all his life, and now I feel guilty and scared for his health. He seems perfectly healthy to me but she said “cats are stoic.” What do you use with the Tiny Terrors? Is she extreme?

Well, I'm not a vet, so the actual answer is that your cat should be getting what their doctor recommends. But I've had those conversations with people before, and I can give my two cents--just take it with a grain of salt.

So...it's basically always true that you can spend more money on fancier 'health' options and there is, to some extent, benefit to the pricier choices. But there's a point at which that benefit is pretty minimal compared to what you get for the midrange price options. This is as true for pet health as it is for people health.

It's true that wet food is usually a better option for cats. Among other things, it helps them stay at a healthy level of hydration, can be easier on their digestive systems, and is often more palatable for cats who are elderly or have dental problems. But that doesn't mean that dry food is inadequate--Mal and Vice used to split a can of wet food daily, and graze dry food whenever they wanted. They're currently eating almost exclusively dry food, because Vice is on a sensitive skin and stomach diet to help address his overgrooming. I would avoid the bottom-end dry foods, because they seem prone to contamination, but that's more manufacturer quality than an issue with the dry food generally. Dry food is usually a nutritionally complete way to feed a cat, and there's nothing wrong with it.

Mal and Vice drink tap water. They have a bowl of still water, and a fountain with an inbuilt filter. The fountain is because if they don't have running water, they will make running water by splashing their bowls all over. I can't speak to chlorine but it's definitely healthier than drinking out of puddles, which is what they would be doing if left to their own devices.

They use clay litter because that's what's effective and affordable. When I'm changing it out I generally give it a few minutes for dust to settle before I let them at it--someone always wants to make a deposit in the clean box--but there's pros and cons to all the litter options out there.

In a perfect world with infinite resources, I'd be feeding the cats a careful balanced diet of fresh-prepared meats and filtered spring water, and they'd take dumps in a tiny kitty toilet that cleaned itself without my help. But that's not really practical or achievable for me, my life, or my cats, and frankly, it's not necessary. I want them to have a good life. It doesn't need to be a perfect one. If your cat is doing well, and their vet is giving them a clean bill of health, you probably have nothing to worry about. I'm not a professional; you should consult your vet and research options for yourself (which is what I do) but you're not doing anything wrong here.

I will say that when I was going through the process of adopting Mal and Vice, some places (usually private rescues) wanted me to jump through INSANE hoops to even apply. I respect that their hearts are in the right place, but... There are hundreds of kittens in shelters right now that need homes desperately, and the quality of the cat has very little to do with the quality of the rescue--they might have more or less vet work done, depending on where they're coming from, but nobody's managed to fundamentally change the nature of the beast. If you can provide a safe home, food, clean water, and attention to a cat, that's really all they need. The rest is just gravy.

[clavissionary-position]

Ikepri ATK Alliance Crack

One afternoon in a certain undisclosed location...

Kagari: (sets his cutlery down) And then I told my family to go take a hike.

Matthias: I don't follow. How would a mere hike improve your clearly apocalyptic familial relations?

Kagari: I was telling them to get lost.

Matthias: But then wouldn't you, as their next of kin, have to go find them on the hiking trail? Putting aside how you're casually confessing a crime to me, you are a busy man. I don't think you'd have the time for all that?

Kagari: (aside to Azel) Does he have siblings? Can we just swap a different one in?

Azel: (saintly smile) The Living God does not err in his selections. Would you kindly peel my fruits for me?

Kagari: Hmph. (reaches for Azel's plate) The more time I spend with either of you, the more atheist I become.

Azel: I accept even those who do not accept me. Such is the grace of god. Not the figs, please. The dates.

Kagari: I'm not sitting here and peeling 37 dates for you. Or even a single one, because who in the world eats dates like that?

Matthias: I think there's 36.

Azel: 35. I ate one while waiting for it to be peeled. It tastes terrible. My tongue is screaming, crying, throwing up. I think I'm dying. Anyway, how are things in Owl Country, Matt?

Matthias: (stops performing the Heimlich maneuver on Azel) Oh, um, we're putting a brand new night patrol program into place.

Matthias: (super-proud) Actually, I've just received the prototype for the uniforms.

Matthias: (puts on an adorable owl-themed ear-flap hat)

Kagari: (ponytail quivers as he tries not to laugh)

Matthias: (serious) The owl is a respected symbol in Achroite. To laugh at The Owl is to laugh at Achroite itself. A grave crime indeed.

Azel: (nods ethereally) He's right. Just like the moon that watches over and sees all in Tanzanite, the owl, too, is a mysterious guardian, protector of man, knower of crimes.

Matthias: Beautiful. Poetic. I suspect this is why the owl and the moon are such natural allies.

Azel: (burps) Cool, yeah sure. Anyway, God is pleased with your initiative, Matt. And he will happily accept a generous tithing in exchange (holds out a palm as he cleanses his palate with the fig in his other hand)

Kagari: Aaand there it is. I'm not covering for you today, by the way, Matthias. And you still owe me from last time. If you even so much as think about paying me in those adorable, I mean stupid owl hats...

Matthias: A tithing? What for?

Azel: Was it not the infinite wisdom of God which guided the crayon-wielding hand that drew up such a wonderful design?

Matthias: (gasp) You can see my crayons? Are they okay?

Azel: (continues holding out palm as his eyes grow distant) Your crayons are well. They're sleeping like little baby sardines, right in the box that you so carefully placed them back into once you were done with your stupid, I mean adorable drawing.

Matthias: (relieved)

Matthias: Wait, hold on, are you trying to swindle me again? Not that I'm saying you swindled me the first time, or the second or tenth time...

Azel: (intense frown) I am a benevolent god!

Matthias: O-Oh, right, right. Please forgive me for speaking out of turn (scavenges around in the upside-down owl hat he's using as a coin purse)

Kagari: (casually admiring his reflection on his katana blade) Congratulations, Matt. You dreamed up a stupid hat and paid someone else for your own stupid idea. If someone told me you were the most accomplished fool in all of Achroite, I'd believe it.

Azel: (wearing one of the owl hats) So you don't want one of the hats?

Kagari: (also wearing one of the hats) I said I didn't want more than 40 or 50!

Matthias: Oh… (sitting among boxes of hundreds of hats labeled "Gifts for my new friends")

[bmodiwrites]

So, @infinite-orangepeel made this post & I got immediate inspo. Here be the result. Check back soon for the next part ;)

Running sucks.

Eddie repeats that mantra every year he’s forced out onto the track for the dreaded mile run. Those that argue school isn’t organized torture absolutely overlook the utter humiliation of having to pant and sweat and die a little more with each step… in front of others.

As a firm rebellion against such a horrible organized event, Eddie takes his time walking around the track. He smokes enough weed to break a sweat doing just that, so that’s all he’s really capable of, anyway. No matter how much he’s heckled or how often the gym teacher yells in his direction, Eddie’s pace doesn’t increase, nor does he try to do anything but put one foot in front of the other.

There are others who are much more equipped to run that pass him by, lap by lap. As the years went on and Eddie starts to notice certain features of a certain someone, the leisurely pace becomes about more than flipping off the establishment.

So much more.

See, Hawkins is known for the ugly green and yellow of their school colors. It’s all over the walls and decorations, the cafeteria and every sign – even their gym clothes are representative of the horrid spirit of Tiger Pride. While Eddie’s always been of the opinion that no one looks good in the palate of vegetable medley, he’s yearly proven wrong by Steve Harrington’s ass.

Without fail, The King is one of the first to sprint off the line when the whistle is blown. His long legs propel him down the track like a gazelle. Eddie’s fond of the way his muscles stretch as he rounds the corners to take on the straightaways. There’s no denying that everything about Steve Harrington is attractive. His pretty boy looks become more deliciously combined with his steadily developing manliness.

Most of the Hawkins High population thinks so.

Eddie’s is more than certain, however, that no one has cracked the magic code like he has. While all the girls walk in a line and complain, Eddie minds his own business and waits for the perfect moment when Steve passes him on the left. He’s zoned in and focused enough to watch the most wonderful thing. It’s a treat to witness Steve’s glorious ass bounce in those green shorts. They are just short enough for the break between hamstring and glute to be visible with every forward step.

Eddie’s never been more grateful for the bunching of fabric.

The only downside to his nefarious plan is the last lap. Since Steve is the golden boy and gets his mile done quickly, Eddie is forced to complete the last lap without any worthwhile stimulus. His breathing is erratic, not from the arousal that he briefly allows, but from the lack of oxygen getting to his lungs. It’s a struggle, but more than worth it to spend brief moments ogling the finest ass that Eddie’s ever seen.

Eddie’s second attempt at a senior year, something changes. Steve isn’t out ahead of everyone else, anymore. He’s jogging, though it’s nothing like the all-out sprint he seemed to do before. In fact, he’s running just enough to be about 100 meters ahead of Eddie. He’s in the perfect spot for Eddie to enjoy the rhythmic shift of Steve’s ass without having to look away.

It’s the absolute best, until Eddie breaks out of his trance enough to see Steve peering back over his shoulder to look at Eddie, too. It’s surprising and exhilarating and more than enough confusing stimulus for his feet to get caught up.

Eddie trips over himself with his tongue out like some feral dog.

The situation’s only saving grace is a strong hand that grabs Eddie’s arm and helps him up from the pile he made of himself on the track. Eddie doesn’t need to hear the dulcet tones of Harrington’s voice to recognize who’s come to his rescue. The pervy boy that’s been watching Steve run for the last few years recognizes hairy calves and shapely quads in his peripheral vision.

“You okay, Munson?” Steve asks once Eddie is stable on his feet. His eyes are dark with amusement and something Eddie can’t quite place.

Unsurprisingly, the look makes Eddie want to eat him alive.

Pushing that thought aside, Eddie absently nods his head. “I’m good. I uh – lost my footing. There’s a wet spot on the track over there – or something.”

Embarrassment and the low thrumming arousal that always fills Eddie up whenever Steve’s around keep him from saying something that actually makes sense – his tongue is thick with a desire that’s hard to tamper down. Especially when Steve licks his lips and smiles at him.

What the hell did he ever do to deserve such teasing?

“Maybe you should watch where you’re going.” Steve leans in then, dropping his tone. “My ass trips everyone up.”

Gasping, Eddie lets Steve’s words wash over him. Blood and shame and adrenaline and lust flock to a bunch of different places all at once. Eddie suddenly doesn’t know up from down. He can’t think straight, so he shrugs in the least casual way and hums awkwardly. It’s too good to be true, anyway.

Steve is just an arrogant ass who knows he’s beautiful.

And fuck if that’s not even more attractive.

Eddie continues to gap like a fish, while words escape him. Steve, the gentleman that he is, tries to hide the laugh bubbling up inside of him. He really does. Eddie can’t blame him when he snorts adorably.

“It’s okay, Munson. I get it.” Steve, who never actually dropped Eddie’s hand after helping him up, squeezes their fingers together before backing away. The touch is broken so quickly, Eddie’s head spins. He didn’t know it was there just a moment ago and now it’s like he can’t live without it.

His pain is somewhat soothed when Steve leaves him with a wink and knowing grin. The gesture is new and exciting – more than enough fodder for the spank bank Steve is the main star off. It allows him, at least, to forget about the humiliation of tripping all over himself as he gets up to start walking his mile again.

This time, when it takes him twenty minutes, he actually has an excuse. The scrape on his knee and brand new memories of the Steve Harrington jiggle are still distracting him.

Eddie thinks about what just happened as he ignores the slack he’s going to be getting for months to come. The situation occupies his mind as he strips down to nothing and wraps a towel very quickly around his hips. It’s all his brain can toss around while the water heats up.

And there’s certainly no stopping it when all too familiar legs step into Eddie’s view.

check out part 2 here!

[punsmaster69]

30/SEP/20XX

i noticed paps watching me even closer than usual while i was making my coffee this morning.

"somethin' wrong?"

"...WHY DO YOU DRINK COFFEE EVERY MORNING?"

"it's supposed to help wake you up, but i kinda just drink it for the flavor."

"WHAT DOES IT TASTE LIKE?"

"like.. ground up coffee beans and water. you want a cup?"

paps nodded, so i brewed him up some good ol' black coffee.

"careful with that, it's gonna be real hot."

he gently set it on the table, then began staring at the coffee in his mug like it owed him.

"you can add some milk if you want to cool it down faster."

"DO YOU DRINK IT HOT?"

"yeah, but that's just 'cuz i don't like cold coffee."

"...I'M GOING TO DRINK IT HOT, TOO!!!"

paps took a sip.. and, immediately spat it back into the mug.

"too hot?"

"IT TASTES LIKE DIRT!!"

"it was 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 just this morning."

he tried it again.

"B-BLEGH..!"

"you could put some sugar in it, if you can't stomach the taste."

"N-NO, I.. I WANT TO HAVE IT LIKE YOU HAVE IT! THE ADULT WAY!!"

"you 𝘢𝘳𝘦 an adult, papyrus. so however you have your coffee.."

i grabbed the sugar and milk from the kitchen.

"becomes the adult way."

he watched as i poured some milk and scooped a tablespoon of sugar into his mug, still seeming apprehensive about it.

"try it now."

glancing between me and the coffee, he slowly lifted the mug to his face.

"..so? is it any better?"

"IT.. IT'S INFINITELY MORE PALATABLE THIS WAY!!"

"maybe we can get some other flavors for you to try, then."

"SANS.. WHY DO YOU TORTURE YOURSELF BY DRINKING IT PLAIN?"

"i'm not adult enough to handle the sugar."

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS ADULT WHICHEVER WAY??"

"never said 𝘪 wasn't childish."

"THEN IF YOU'RE SO CHILDISH, DO YOU WANT TO ASSEMBLE THIS TOY?"

paps retrieved a box that had a picture of a plastic dragon on the cover from a nearby drawer.

"ALTHOUGH, IT MIGHT BE A LOT FOR JUST US TWO."

"i'll invite alphys."

"AND I'LL CALL UNDYNE!"

"it'll be like a playdate."

"AN ADULTS' PLAYDATE!!"

.....

i can't help wondering if he'll want to move out one day.

papyrus...

he's a lot more mature than he lets on sometimes.

he'd be okay without me, i'm sure.

...so i'm not sure why the thought worries me so much.

....

maybe 𝘪 need to mature a little more.

[sapphire-weapon]

The thing about Resident Evil, though, is that “from the beginning” can mean one of two different things. You can start from the beginning with Resident Evil (1996) on PSX, I suppose, but Resident Evil 0 (2002) is chronologically the earliest point in the series.

And, in my opinion, starting with either of those games is a bad idea if you’re coming in from RE4.

I’m going to give you two viable paths through RE, and you can choose the one that you think would work better for you personally.

If you came into Resident Evil through RE4make (and/or OG RE4), and you are only interested in seeing Leon’s story before going into the wider canon, this is the path you take:

Resident Evil 2 & Resident Evil 2 Remake (it doesn’t matter which one you do first, but you should do both. RE2make cuts some shit that’s actually really super important.)

Google search “Resident Evil 3 Leon epilogue.” It’s a single image. Just read it.

Darkside Chronicles (game)

Congrats, you are now up to date with everything (important) that happened to Leon pre-RE4, and you now have a better context for who he is/what he does in that game. From there, the canon timeline for Leon’s appearances then goes:

Degeneration (movie)

Infinite Darkness (Netflix series)

Damnation (movie)

Resident Evil 6 (game)

Vendetta (movie)

Death Island (movie) (releasing in July)

And that’s it. You’re up to date with Leon’s story, and now you can go through the rest of the games at your leisure. The good news is that Leon is in every single canon CGI movie that’s been released, so you don’t have to worry about tracking down anything other than games in order to go into the wider canon once you’ve reached this point.

If you came into Resident Evil through RE4make (and/or OG RE4), and you want to go through the canon because you’re interested in the world and not necessarily hyperfixating on Leon, I actually suggest going backwards and out of order. These are the steps that I would take in order for the series to make the most sense as you’re going through it:

Resident Evil 2 & Resident Evil 2 Remake (again: do both). Doing this gives you more context for RE4, and it introduces you to Claire and makes you aware of who Chris is.

(optional) Resident Evil: Outbreak. Nothing that happens in this game matters, and you’ll never see any of these characters again. This is the only non-essential RE title that I’ll mention, and only because Kevin Ryman is delightful and was supposed to be the guy training Leon if Leon had ever actually started work for real.

Resident Evil Remake. Ignore RE1 on PSX. It’s been erased from canon and overwritten by REmake. This now gives you the setup for why Chris wasn’t in Raccoon City when Claire went looking for him, introduces you to him, and also the rest of the recurring main cast. It will also explain to you who Wesker is; he’s the guy who was talking to Ada in the post-credits scene in RE4make (and who called Leon a dog over and over lmao).

Resident Evil 0. This tells you how Rebecca got to where she was when you meet her in REmake and finishes fleshing out STARS and Wesker for you. By the time you’re done with RE0, you’ll have a full understanding of who the main players all are and how this all started.

Resident Evil 3. Original or Remake. Doesn’t matter, really. I recommend the remake just because Carlos is hot in that version and the game is overall more palatable, but the changes that happen between OG and remake don’t really matter in the way the changes between RE2/RE2make matter.

Code Veronica X. Now that everyone’s out of Raccoon City, the next event chronologically is Claire continuing her search for Chris (and finally finding him).

Umbrella Chronicles followed by Darkside Chronicles. This is just to cap off the Raccoon City saga. Most of what these two games are are recaps of all the games you just went through, but there are extra bits in there that are important. Like, the original version of Operation Javier is shown in Darkside Chronicles -- and, once you see it, you’ll understand why RE old guard says that it’s been changed and retconned in RE4make. The rest of this list is just how the series then unfolds chronologically, because we are now caught up to Resident Evil 4.

Degeneration (movie)

Infinite Darkness (Netflix series)

Revelations 1 (game)

Resident Evil 5 (game)

Damnation (movie)

Revelations 2 (game)

Resident Evil 6 (game)

Vendetta (movie)

Death Island (movie, but not out yet, so it’s okay if you go past it until it releases lmao)

Resident Evil 7 (game)

Resident Evil 8/Village (game)

And that’s it. That is the list of essential RE canon. Everything else in this series is just a spinoff that’s there for funsies, and some of it explicitly is not canon. If you want to be a complete and utter crazy person and go through it all, feel free, but I promise you that you don’t need to know who Morpheus D. Duvall is (nor do you want to), or about that dude who fucked that spider in Gun Survivor 2 (though it is the funniest bit of RE lore to pull out and shock people with. DUDE PUT HIS DICK IN A SPIDER).

Good luck and god bless.

[sonicjustbecause]

Sonic - English, Japanese version - my impression as somebody who doesn't speak any of the two languages.

First - my experience with the two languages, to explain how I perceived thing as a total foreigner.

English - I truly can't speak English. My written English sucks. I don't know if you can read/understand my posts. I can read English, both British and American (I usually use British English but I use American when I want to be more concise), overall I can read all kind of topics, but I don't like slangs. My listenings skills are bad, it depends who is speaking. I could listen and understand enough Sonic Prime without subtitles, but in other occasion the language is too different from Italian and I need the subs.

Japanese - Mostly I watch anime in Japanese. I don't speak the language at all and I can count all the japanese words I know in one hand. The sound of the language is sillabic so is as clear as Italian. As for Sonic, I watched Sonic X in Japanese version (Italian and English version long ago, I don't even remember a lot), the two adventure in English, Unleashed in both version, Frontiers in Italian and Japanese.

Sonic Force is boring, I was unable to pay attention. I saw it not long ago and I quickly forgot everything. The only good thing was Infinite's Italian voice, is very beautiful.

OK, my impression of the character from English version was not like it was describled there. I perceived it more how is perceived in the Japanese version. Many times I said our personal experience make us perceive a character in a certain way, maybe the language I speak is part of it. Italian is more contextual than English, or maybe is how character act (that does't change whathever language they speak), I don't know... I remember perceiving Sonic as a aloof, slightly grumpy but kind hearted and happy character before watching the Japanese version (that just confirmed that). Current Sonic - even in Japanese, is more outgoing and sullen.

Flanderization happened in the Japanese version too and is undeniable (I said i watched the Japanese versions too).

Indeed...

this remember a old cartoon I used to see in early '90s...

"Cecil, help me!"

Knuckles still does his duty, but I saw him more and more relaxed lately. Like: 'A bit of absence won't hurt!'. The describled flanderization sounds more like the one we saw in Sonic Boom.

Yes, this.

Sonic X is Japanese and she is clearly different from videogames (Right, I've said I watched the Japanese version). In the two adventure Amy was energetic yet gentle. I remember her kind attitude toward Gamma and Shadow. in Sonic X she made me laugh, but yes, she looks also dangerous. Sonic is right to avoid her.

Magical girl Amy. Well - Eggman deserve that.

This poor guy had it the worst. I remember Shadow being overall gloomy but still playful. Is like they just took away all the facets that made Shadow likeable and left only the flaws (inflating them to 'fill' emty spaces) . The Shadow we had during last decade (except for Lance Shadow) is the perfect edgy character that only 15 years old kids like. At 15 I also lingered on edgelords and I though they were the best because they were 'oh, pure serious' and didn't lingered in 'foolish cheerfulness'. I even characterized some of my own characters as edgelords (I'm glad I'm out from it since late teen). My mum made me understand why they suck, calling them 'arm candy' (belle statuine). That was a great and helpful criticism.

I loved funny and evil Eggman. I don't like what Eggman is lately, more than a villain, he seems a mignon.

Though Japanese dialogue might be better and more meaningful (when different from English ones), this doesn't mean Japanese version of Sonic is free of issues. We need to accept that Sonic franchise is flawed, that the fandom is not perfect. The good thing is that all the material we have around can satisfy all palates. Let's enjoy what we like and hope for the better, whathever will be.

[nono-bunny]

Thoughts from watching the ATLA live action!

I initially wanted this to all be one post but. It got too long and also Tumblr accidentally posted it once instead of just drafting as I asked while I was writing it and I had to reconstruct the whole thing so I'm just going to make one post per episode I think.

So, episode 1!

Oh my god the show really opens on just showing the letters "Capital City", genuinely that's kind of hilarious?? I kinda always thought of it as Caldera City collectively because Capital City sounds dumb (very The Hunger Games of them, ngl) but like... I do recognize that it's only technically the rich district- even so I feel like maybe they should've reimagined that one in particular because honestly it's always been confusing for the capital to have two cities in it (Harbor City is the other one, basically the poor people district). Anyway not a big deal overall, just... Kind of funny to not change this

Truly a weird way to start the show with just some random Earth Kingdom revolutionaries, but based on the fact that I've heard they're not in it I'm just headcanoning it to be Haru and Tyro lmao otherwise it's just. A truly bizarre choice

Oh never mind they're??? Opening before the war??? They literally have Ozai in the first season, why wouldn't they just have a menacing Sozin in a war room, with like maybe some very subtle hints to him grieving someone who died disagreeing with him, and him going forward with it anyway? Idk it's genuinely very strange to open a show with such iconic and recognizable characters by focusing on some random mostly irrelevant people you're never gonna see again because the story takes place a hunder years in the future. I mean, it was a cool fight scene (when I could see it lmao, I wish it wasn't so dark- would've looked great in a cinema but this should have been made for people watching on home screens) but?? Why should I care about these people or what they're doing, either as a veteran who knows they don't matter or as someone new to the story who DOESN'T know that they're never going to see them again?

Oh shit wait, AGAIN??? They keep zagging on me lmao this is like. Exactly what I wanted!! I read they started things off with a lot of fighting and showing the war so I thoght this was what it was but no!! The random guy meets non other than Sozin... Who genuinely looks incredible and does a fantastic job at portraying exactly what I wanted!! I think there's something in the eyes specifically? Like, there's a certain sadness mixed with idealism there, which works really well with how determined, calculating and cold he otherwise is. He feels 100% like the sort of guy who'd reasonably be the ancestor to the mess that is the Royal Family we see during the rest of the show, and I'm genuinely really happy about it! Sozin feels like the sort of madman who believes in his own just and it's perfect, like, the exact vibe I got from him in the original!

Is Gyatso talking to Bryke rn or...?? Lmao fr Aang never learned any of the things he mentions which is why he was a bad Avatar, and why in the end I don't like canon OG Aang. Addressing it in the first episode is extremely bold of the LA tbh, but you know I love to see it! Also everyone was talking about how Aang wasn't silly enough, but literally in the OG he was too silly and never learned to take responsibility or work with others so?? This Aang that is already blending a whimsical air with what seems like a degree of emotional intelligence the original lacked is!! Such an improvement in my eyes, actually! I'm hoping they manage to properly resolve these things this time around, but already their direction with him just within minutes of meeting him feels a lot more palatable to me. Also they rewrote that scene in a way that makes Gyatso infinitely more likeable because now he actually GETS it, OG Gyatso was a kind man but in the end... He was wrong, he coddled Aang too much. Here, in a universe where the Air nomads want to help defend the rest of the world, he recognizes that while Aang is needed, he genuinely isn't capable of helping yet which!! Also feels like an improvement in terms of co-nation relations, it feels like there actually used to be a harmony of sorts before! It will help make the Air Nomads feel less out of place and "out of sight out of mind" in the bad way they were in the original. The Air Nomads already planning to get involved also feels like a way to rid Aang of his idealistic and childhish views of his own culture in a much more direct way than the more subtle approach just showing Gyatso surrounded by skeletons of people he likely killed. Also, again, saw people complain aboit the Air Nomads wanting to get involved being ooc and?? Okay, so? Have you maybe considered that them being so insular that their loss was barely felt in the original whenever they didn't need to make Aang have an emotional moment was a bad thing??? Like, I get that it isn't in line with their characterization, but personally? Them choosing not to get involved in an attempted genocide was always a bad look tbh, and as far as I'm concerned, this is a fix and a way to make them look much better than just like. Hermits unconcerned with the world- they care, they want to help! Honestly overall everyone in the Air Nomads looks so much better here, this feels like a net good in terms of like... Idk Air Nomad publicity lmao. Also, showing the different temples coming together to celebrate is!! Incredible, I wholeheartedly love that addition to the lore!

Ngl tbh so far this feels like a fanfic I'd read, in like. Literally the best possible way

Yo the "Gyatso and Roku were friends" theory looking realll possible rn with that "you will always be my friend" line 👀

Ah so I see what people meant about Aang's characterization in this episode being a bit tell-y rather than show-y, that's fair. That said, it was a really nice scene that established the bond between him and Appa quite well imo! Also now I'm genuinely curious as to whether they'll have him get a bit drunk with power like in the original considering the focus they're putting on how much he needs to NOT do that!

To everyone saying Aang running away was important and should not have been cut- no, it fucking wasn't, it was one of his biggest unresolved character flaws that got ignored when the destroyed his character arc in season 3 and I'm fucking glad it's gone. I do find it interesting that here Aang basically only just finds out about being the Avatar before getting frozen rather than having a bit more time to get used to the idea and see how it changes things for him- it makes it that in a way, this Aang has both a lot more and a lot less baggage! Essentially his entire journey of discovery of what it means to be pronounced the Avatar will happen alongside people who never knew him as anything but, it's an extremely finite and dramatic closing of the chapter of his life where he wasn't the Avatar- it kinda shows he has no room for confusion anymore, he must now become The Avatar because that's essentially his people's last request of him. It's a very different sort of vibe from "I wasn't willing", it's "I wasn't ready", and that is much more easily fixable in a shorter show! Also the og literally just "solved" the willingness issue by having him enjoy the benefits and refuse to do any of the work so. Not sad to see it go at all

Battlefield Sozin?! Firebending rockets?! Wilhelm scream?! Cool battle scene all around tbh, really heartbreakin and difficult to watch, which means they did a good job with it! I do still wish it was brighter though lmao

Uhh forgot to type anything for a while because I was crying but. Yeah I generally really liked the portrayal of life on Wolf Cove! There are definitely some very noticeable changes with our two leads here, and I actually don't think they're necessarily bad, they just feel very strange and might take a bit to get used to. Katara actually isn't passive, which is weird considering that's how a lot of people described her? She's just extremely cautious. All of her defining traits feel like they're still there, but some of them do feel like they're lying a bit under the surface due to her situation which! Makes sense as an alternative way of writing her! Sokka genuinely feels like such a big brother here, I like the emphasis on his sense of responsibility and how he doesn't quite know how to be a real leader yet- it goes very well with a Katara who desperately wants to be a fighter but can't and has to try and blend in. Both of them have very clear aspirations and the traits that will eventually allow them to get to where they want to be, but they're very far from reaching them at the start. A lot of the scenes do feels kinda awkward tbh, but idk, I think they do a fine enough job at what they attempt to.

Now, hearing that Katara wasn't the one to break Aang out in a fit of anger wasn't a deal breaker for me actually, but? Honestly the way he gets out is just needlessly confusing here, genuinely unclear if Katara did it or he just... Idk somehow reacted to another bender's presence or whatever. Idk, it felt extremely weird and I think just like? A bit of clarification here as to what happened could've saved this scene without it having to happen via anger if that's the way they wanna go with Katara, and specifically her relationship with Sokka (which, again, does really feel authentic and well done here imo!)

Aang saying that Katara is the only one who tried to fight for him is fucking wild, but I guess that's the impression he got given that Gyatso told him he had to go away and he didn't hear the meeting about him here. Still a wild thing for him to say, felt really weird right alongside Sokka being the bravest person he ever met. Idk that whole exchange was off and awkward and just... Strange

Iroh doing his best to help and teach Aang when he can is very sweet. Idk how to feel about how hard he's already going in on the whole "your daddy doesn't love you" thing with Zuko tbh, because it does make Zuko appear much less lost when he's got someone who's giving him the answers rather than leading him to them, it's kinda a book 2 vibe from them? It's strange. Also a straight talking Iroh feels so strange in general, literally his only "eccentric" quality so far is loving Jasmine tea and very clearly not being down with the war, it's... Certainly A Choice, but not one I'm really enjoying so far tbh

There's something really interesting about Katara immediately relaxing and allowing herself to be silly and mischievous around Sokka here, it's kind of a flip from their dynamic in the original but there's something really fun and sweet about seeing those hidden aspects of her come out around the one person she knows and trusts to accept and protect her just as fiercely as she would him. It's definitely different, but I'm genuinely really enjoying the unique spin they put on their relationship and how it correlates with their own individual personalities and how they perceive and present themselves.

Taking the burden of always being the only one who can bring Aang out of the Avatar State away from Katara feels like a big relief. Also in general I like the way they still kept Aang's attachment to Gyatso and his parallels with Katara, while also solidifying Sokka and Aang friendship which wasn't really... A thing in the original? Having Sokka protect and reach out to Aang feels much more personal here in a way than it did originally, I think maybe the weird scene where Aang praises them kinda worked to serve that? Idk I've read people saying they don't feel like a family but more like friends here but. They never did in the original in season 1 either tbh. If anything there's a sense of everyone being equal here which the original lacked in places, I like how both Sokka and Katara support and save Aang in equal measure here and how they look out for each other as well. Aang is kinda naturally a mess this whole episode but here's hoping he returns the favor for them for once in the future!

Edit: dammit Tumblr literally just did it again I didn't mean to post this yet, but I'm kind of at the end of the episode so fuck it, it stays I don't wanna reconstruct it in the drafts again. If I have anything to add it'll go after this.

[little-peril-stories]

My Most Common Tropes

I was tagged by @i-can-even-burn-salad in this post. (....in August, lol.) Thanks, Elli!

Rules: Look back on your work, both past and present, finished and unfinished. What are five to ten narrative elements or tropes that continuously pop up in your work?

OPEN TAG

My most common tropes and narrative elements are....

Angst

Girl Power

Violence & Power Dynamics

(Sad) Family Stuff

Slow Burn

Classic Big Bad Villains

And because I'm me, find four billion examples below the read more. :)

✨ Angst

What more can I say? I love it when my characters are sad. And hurting. And feeling hopeless. And helpless.

No matter what I do, I can’t move. I can’t get to her. I’m helpless. I’m useless. Maybe that’s all I’ve ever been—failing Jamie, failing IA, and now I’m going to fail Bree, too. - TPOT

What difference did it make? He would take her home, and she’d be his pretty possession once again, and every choice she’d made to escape the fate she’d so foolishly chosen for herself four years before would mean absolutely nothing. - TQOL

Yes, the thief thought, he was lucky. Lucky to have had Bree—who didn’t even know him—and her gentle hands on his skin, taking care of him for reasons he didn’t know or understand, doing something for him when he could never, ever pay her back. [...] Lucky that she was real, and that she had been there. Lucky, most of all, that she was gone, and that he would never see her again, because if he did, he’d have to face all over this alien, unwelcome pain of farewell. - TQOL

Being dead and suffering through some kind of purgatory was the least palatable option he’d come up with, yet the scholar half-hoped it was true. If he had died, the hell he was living through now was the false reality. It would eventually crumble into oblivion, blown away on the wind with his ashes, or buried in the ground with his decomposing corpse. - Man of Letters

✨ Girl Power

Action Girl / Plucky Girl / Determinator

Pour one out for my girls Bree, Colette, Alice, Fen, Ivy, Bridget, Nalia, Oriana, Ker, and Balain. Even when they're fucking up, which they do a lot, they're making it through and, in some cases, saving the day. Girls rule, boys drool. (shhh I'm just kidding)

Those same fears come back, renewed and armed with sharper, more vicious teeth than before. But so, too, does that promise. And even though the wind is just as cold as it was that night, and even though what I am leaving behind is infinitely more precious than what I abandoned four years ago, the taste of freedom on the wind is just as sweet. - TPOT

“Put the princess in a pair of pants and watch what happens.”- TQOL

“I chased a fucking wagon across this goddamn city. And then I chased a carriage across it again. I nearly got trampled twice. Do not fucking start with me.” - TQOL

They didn’t know what they were getting themselves into when they decided to kidnap me. I hope I get the chance to make them regret it. - TCOR

“I may be dying,” she said, her voice trembling with fury, “but I’m not dead. And I’m not going to lie around waiting to die, either.” - Book 1

✨ Violence & Power Dynamics

Violence is the Only Option / Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique / No-Holds-Barred Beatdown / Restraints / I Will Punish Your Friend For Your Failure / Defiant Captive

No respite—the rope grew tight again, accompanied now by Baden Hatchett’s hand on his chin. “Tried to take what wasn’t yours, and when she was rightfully repulsed by you, you thought you’d get to me another way instead?” - TQOL

I can’t suppress the cry that escapes as he twists and presses his fingertips against the wound. - TPOT

“Answer me,” the prince said softly, tightening his grip just enough that the scholar’s jaw began to ache. - Man of Letters

“Try to run away and I’ll let him drown your friend,” she said, digging her fingers into Nalia’s arm. - Book 1

✨ Family Stuff

Annoying Younger Sibling / Disappointing Older Sibling / Dead Parents / Abusive Parents

When Will kept bouncing, seeming not to hear their mother’s question, Jamie picked up one of his brother’s abandoned socks from the floor, crushed it into a ball, and hurled it at his head. - TPOT

“No one says anything. No one. Even you. You got arrested and you never fucking told me and he had that old record and that’s how he knew your name, and I can’t believe you never said anything, for fuck’s sake, and that happened when Ma was still alive—” - TPOT

The entire time I was in jail, truly believing and even hoping that my brother had skipped town and saved himself and left me to die, I never wanted to hurt him as much as I do right now. - TCOR

A knife under the ribs. It was Bridget’s fault. “I didn’t—I should’ve—I know I waited too long to go to the feds. I’m going to regret it forever, you know.” - Fen and Freddie

“Keeping me here to suffer more because your mother died on you, that’s not fair.” I know these words will hurt her. I don’t care. “I watched my ma die, too.” - TPOT

“My mother…she used to. She lives in the country now.” A distant look came into his eyes. “My dad’s dead. Of the fever. When it came here.” - Book 1

The soft words of her mother often came to her in such moments—the gentle but fragmented counsel that had helped Cecilia Cooper through her own marriage to Silas Cooper, a bitter man prone to temper and partial to drink. Stay with me, my love, she had whispered so often, and I will keep you safe. A mostly empty promise, untrue but well-meant; Breanna had known even then that her mother had tried her best. Let’s practice some sums, she would sometimes say, smoothing away her daughter’s tear-damp locks, watching the door with a frantic eye in case the handle began to turn. - TQOL

✨ Slow Burn

Make them go through a billion and a half awkward moments and almosts before they kiss!

Almost Kiss / Rescue Romance / Sleep Cute

I bet that hair practically glows red when the sun hits it just right. Especially in the light of sunset, when the sky turns to pink and orange flame. - TPOT

Dawn, of course, does not reach us inside our cell. Its rays can’t drift inside and wake us gently, can’t illuminate our fingers that remained entwined through the night; perhaps it is some innate, natural understanding that it’s almost time to rise that makes my eyes flutter open. A pair of hazel ones stares back. - TPOT

Are we closer than we were a minute ago? Can I better see the flutter of her eyelashes, glittering with tears, as she looks up at me, her cheeks pale, her lips parted to let every frightened breath pass, her hair brushing against her skin in perfect disarray? - TPOT

This was different: lovely, potent, thrilling. Like silken threads woven with bronze, like some entity of creation had crafted this man from warm earth and molten metal. - TQOL

This gaze burned like sunshine—like spring, like warmth on meadow grasses, like the glint of golden light off a pond. It burned, and it didn’t waver, and she knew where he was looking when he shifted a strand of damp hair away from her neck. - TQOL

He fixed her with that annoyingly penetrating gaze, like she was a book he wanted to read. - Book 1

✨ Big-Bad Style Villains

Big Bad / Lack of Empathy / Blaming "The Man" / The Chessmaster / Implacable Man / Evil Gloating

“Mouth off to her again,” he said softly, “and I’m going to make you very sorry.” - Book 1

“Oops,” Brockhurst said. “That might have broken a rib. Or several.” - Fen and Freddie

“Look at you. You’re no hero,” Hatchett says. My eyes fly open again. “A thief is all you are—a terrible one at that. Iustitia aecum, indeed.” He bares his teeth. “You and the others, you wear your guise of honour. Still, you are nothing more than lowlife, thieving criminals. Her, just as much as you.” He scoffs. “She says you saved her, once upon a time. Today, you will not.” - TPOT

“I most certainly am not mistaken,” says Jean Regent. “I did hope we could be civil from the start, but if you continue to be evasive and spout pointless lies, then I am afraid I shall have to resort to more barbaric measures rather quickly.” - TCOR

“Remember this, will you?” Regent lifts the poker from the hearth. “Remember that I could have ended your sorry life and chose not to. Remember that I showed you mercy. And remember…” His smile widens to a grotesque, gaping grin. “Remember that if you anger me again, the girl pays the price.” - TCOR

OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO FUN THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME IN THIS AHH

[phantasmagoric-acquaintance]

@taznovembercelebration - holding hands / pushing away

After the swarm of managers and PR experts and hair-and-makeup people that has surrounded Lup for the past hour finally dissipates, Taako pulls up a chair next to her and reaches for her hand.

She takes a break from eyeballing herself in the mirror to give her brother a small, nervous smile. “I’m kinda scared, T,” she tells him, as though he hadn’t figured that out an hour ago.

“You got it,” he assures her. “It’s just a little chat. Fifteen minutes, tops. You’re a great talker and already know what you’re gonna say. Worst that’ll happen, you stumble over your words a little. So what, who gives a damn? You got it.”

Lup doesn’t say anything in response, just squeezes her brother’s hand.

They held hands when they were scared. They always had, ever since they were small. It was always easier to face frustrated directors or daunting public appearances together. It had always seemed to them that no one else understood how overwhelming this line of work could be for a couple of small children.

Days like today, the bright lights and the mic tests and the frenzy of various professionals fussing over hair, makeup, clothes, tone of voice, enunciation… none of it was new to Lup, to either of them. But they hadn’t done a talk show appearance in a long while— not since before Lup’s transition, more specifically. And she’d never done one without Taako.

She’ll be asked some big questions, they know. And it’s fine. She’s prepared with big answers. From the moment she came out, the PR people have been drafting plans to make her transition into some feel-good interest piece for the public to coo about. Taako thinks it’s too big of a burden for a teenager to bear. Be a role model, never say anything negative without some positive takeaway to balance it out. It’s too much responsibility for a kid, he thinks. Why can’t they just let her be a kid?

Taako, for his part, has no interest in being an inspiration to others. If this many people were following him around lecturing him on how to present his orientation in a way that the public finds palatable, he would hurl, or explode, or hit someone, or all three. Lup is infinitely more patient than he.

His stream of consciousness is interrupted when some backstage crew member pokes her head into the room. “Lup? We’re just about ready for you, dear.”

She nods and slides out of her chair. Noticing the pallor in her face, he stands and hugs her gently around her shoulders, careful not to screw up her perfectly pressed outfit. “You got it,” he repeats. “I’m gonna go out there and watch on the monitors, so I’ll be right there. But you’re gonna kill it”

“’Kay. I’m gonna kill it. Thanks, ‘Ko.” She gets on her tiptoes and presses a gentle peck to the top of his head, getting sticky lip gloss in his hair.

“Yuck. That’s enough.” He shrugs away from her. “Gross.”

She smiles. “See ya soon,” she promises, and jogs after the crew member.

As he watches her hurry off, Taako thinks to himself that Lup might just be the strongest person he knows.

---

Lucretia rushes after Taako as he storms off the sound stage. “The fuck was that?”

“I dunno, what the fuck was it?” he retaliates, without turning around to face his manager. “Because to me, it sounded like a whole lotta real personal fuckin’ questions that I ain’t gonna answer.”

“Perhaps it was, and I had made it perfectly clear beforehand that such questions must not be asked, and I will be having more than a few words with the show about it.” She’s trying her best to keep up with Taako, but she can’t quite match his long-legged stride, and he can hear her breathlessness when she speaks. “But honestly, Taako, what can you expect when you can’t even be bothered to show up for the pre-interview?”

Fury, already bubbling dangerously close to Taako’s surface, starts to flood his conscious thought. “’Kay, that’s fine. Blame it all on Taako. Hear that, world? It’s all Taako’s fault.” Through whatever sliver of rationality remains in his mind, Taako’s aware he sounds like a madman. But in the moment, all he sees is white-hot rage, too blinding for him to care how embarrassed he might feel in an hour or so.

Then Lup steps into his path, and he’s forced to slow his roll before he collides into her. He makes a frustrated “Graaah!” as he tries to maneuver around her, but she grabs his arm.

“What has gotten into you?” She’s making those awful sad eyes at him again. Lately, it feels like that’s the only way she looks at him anymore.

He can’t fucking stand it. Her… pity. It makes him squirm. “Nothing. God. Move, lemme go.”

“I won’t! Please, don’t do this, Koko. Don’t stomp off. Talk to me, let me help you. I miss you.”

It feels like it happens in slow motion, him pushing her away. Really, it’s like his mind and body are separate entities. He should stay, he knows. He should talk to his sister. She’s the only one who has always had his back. It’s not her fault he grew into the person he did, not her fault they’ve never known a moment of privacy. The media vultures, they’ve torn into her, too.

But the rage, the rage overwrites all else. And the way she looks at him like she doesn’t know him anymore, the childish nickname, the fact that somehow she turned out so much better than he did, the implication that he needs help, that there’s something wrong with him, as if he didn’t already fucking know that… it infuriates him.

It’s not a hard push, just enough to free his arm and clear a path. He wouldn’t physically hurt her, couldn’t, couldn’t live with himself.

But the emotional damage is clear. Already, tears are forming in the bottom of her wide, horrified eyes.

It’s not too late, not yet. He could apologize. They could talk. She could hold his hand, the way they used to do when they were little, and maybe she could make it better.

“I don’t need your goddamn help. Stay outta my way,” he says instead, and books it toward the building’s exit, into the cold of the night, away from his sister’s sad eyes, in search of some place where the consequences of his actions can’t reach him

They’re too old for handholding now, anyway.

[lighthousekeepers-burner-blog]

OK, heard Sean Cahill on a podcast and with a (knowing?) twinkle in his eyes he postulated a theory that all this UFO stuff is, at its most basic, a case of interdimensional resource theft.  Marauders from other dimensions using our resources to offset their own, while at the same time laying the groundwork over the centuries of fanciful stories of gods and angels and prophets, to keep humankind ignorant of the technological advances, and thus staving off any undue competition.  The constant messaging of alien encounters is that we must protect the Earth. Why?  Because they need it to keep pillfering from.  Why haul resources from distant planets when there’s a near infinite amount of Earths in the multiverse to mine for materials?  Are some of those materials the result of human abductions, cattle mutilations?  Maybe.  Maybe it’s cobalt, and while they have a massive technological advantage and could wipe us out effortlessly, it’s easier to have the damn fool apes mine the product and take it off the top.  if the technology exists, it’s probably not just one kind of interloper but a variety, each with their own special needs, each making a mess of our human history, and with a cabal of human emissaries in the know that want to maintain their own privileged status and obstruct any opportunities for disclosure to see light of day.

The push from Lue and Grusch and Nolan and most insiders is that the UFO phenomenon is fundamentally interdimensional.  Sean is part of that cadre.  It didn’t quite click until Sean made the connection for me: what would we do if we possessed a technology that could let us slip in and out of other Earths mostly undetected?  Maybe thinking anthropomorphically isn’t all that bad when you consider resource scarcity as a motivator of behavior.  Were such a technology to exist, rather than evolve our principles and fix the planet through restraint and sacrifice, we would of course plunder and take the easy route any way we could to make our situation that much more pleasent.  That is human nature writ large, and if we are not at the top of the food chain, another predator would similarly use this same advantage against us.  And it might not be another species, but us on a different technological trajectory, one that wasn’t handicapped by convorting with nymphs, in which case: anthropomorphism away baby.  

I really like this idea.  It’s always been there, it’s got Keel and Vallee aspects to it, but resource scarcity as motivator just makes it even more palatable to me.

Thoughts?     

[kitchen-light]

Danusha Laméris, from "Bonfire Opera", University of Pittsburgh Press, 2020 [ALT TEXT under cut]

“Chance” by Danusha Laméris

They talked about it while soaking in an unusually deep red tub at his rented house. How the constellations had gone out of their way to align, so that their paths converged for a time in the redwoods, in a shingled cottage above the creek. It was all so perfectly temporary. He had easier hours at work. She, the willingness and freedom at midday. Even some nights. Statistically improbable that their bodies fit together the way they did. And that the words he whispered fit so seamlessly inside her ear. But― isn’t it written in the Holy Books?―the gods do not like to dole out too much honey, so as not to saturate the palate. Or the soul, which must be allowed its hungers. And this was honey by the spoonful: He played guitar and sang for her while she soaped her limbs. He peeled off her robe with his teeth while she read him his favorite poems by the fire’s last flame. Perhaps it is a mercy to have such limits. Isn’t unimpeded pleasure almost unbearable? And isn’t there always someone, just outside the frame, who has to pay? When the ancient astrologers began to track the bodies of heaven, they must have meant to catch the gods at the moment of their brief indulgence, that softening, when they allow us more than just a little taste. And right before, in their infinite and merciless wisdom, they take it back.

[idololivine]

karu & olivine (or garu if you cant think of anything for karu). also... morvay & olivine. and maybe (even tho they never interacted), Rin & olivine? and just food for thoughts, what about if olivine ever met huey?

Oh boy, a lotta characters! Gonna try to keep each section shorter.

Karu & Olivine

Olivine has a parental-ish sort of demeanor towards the wolves; in Forest Carnival, he says that he can't help but want to look after them. At the same time, he doesn't infantilize them - he acknowledges that Garu and Karu are very capable and can take care of themselves (also in Forest Carnival).

A quote:

Olivine (Hmm, if I remember correctly, Garu and Karu spent a long time living in the wilderness of the Dead Zone.) (As such, I'd guess... they're far more adept at outdoor activities than myself.) Olivine Sorry for fretting so much, Garu. I can't help feeling the urge to watch over you and Karu. Garu Ah? No need to watch over us. Plus, we really wanna help everyone out!

At the same time... the way Olivine interacts with Karu specifically does make me think of a preschool teacher trying to convince a toddler why they should play nice lol. It's because Olivine is very milfy big brotherly and Karu is just a real brat.

Ship-wise, I think Olivine is possibly the only person in the clan who would be happy to bottom to Karu, but I also think it's infinitely funnier if Karu is just... a really bad top. Olivine has to speedrun figuring out how to fake an orgasm. Also if Karu started calling Olivine Human Slave No. 2 I think Olivine would just roll with it the same way you nod and agree when a kid tells you they're a magical alien princess.

Garu & Olivine

More or less the same first paragraph as Karu & Olivine. Garu's much less bratty and snippy than Karu, so there's a lot less of the "humoring a cranky toddler" vibe. I think he'd respond well to Olivine lightly mother henning him, even though he's fully capable of taking care of himself.

Ship-wise, they're just too "and so they were both subs". Mutually disinterested, but a hypothetical fanartist/ficwriter could Manufacture Circumstances in which something might happen. (I say, as I continue to make agonizingly slow progress on an OliGaru fic for the Garu & Karu Fanweek.)

Morvay & Olivine

They're canonically besties who go shopping together!! They mean so much to me you don't understand. They're so opposed on the surface but so similar deep down. A demon and a priest... A man who has never been accepted by society and doesn't care to change himself to become more palatable, and a man who is perfect in the eyes of society and is learning to be true to himself even if he ceases to be perfect... Two men who are just incredibly horny and both love sucking cock.

I don't think we'll see much of it in canon because Morvay is banned from the regular event rotation, but listen, you could take all the potential they have and make an incredible yaoi manga out of it. Criminally underrated ship. My kingdom for a Halloween event with Morvay in an angel costume and Olivine in a demon costume.

Rin & Olivine

It's hard to speculate on a character we know fuckall about, and I honestly don't really give a damn about Rin. I know that a lot of people really want him to be playable but like,, I just Don't Care about him. I think unless he gets a redemption arc and/or personality overhaul he just can't fit into the clan, story-wise. There's no way Rin as-is is going to play nice at Kleinmas.

If Rin conjured a fake Eiden to target Olivine, the same way he did to Dante/Edmond/Blade in chapter 10, I imagine that the fake Eiden would insinuate that Olivine has betrayed the God of Klein and failed in his duties as a priest by giving in to his desires.

Huey & Olivine

Another character we don't know much about! All we really know is that Huey was a real asshole, and that it's implied that some (a lot?) of how Kuya behaves was also how Huey behaved.

I think it depends on where in the timeline he meets Huey and what about him Huey criticizes. Earlier on, Olivine's more unsure of himself and would be more sensitive to being insulted for his desires, both sexual and not. Later on, when he's more confident, he'd be able to shrug it off and maybe even stand up to Huey. No clue how Huey would react to being told no, but I doubt it'd be good.

[blackjackkent]

1, 7 and 14 for Hector

4, 10 and 15 for Karlach

And some group ones for your standard Hectorverse group (Hector, Karlach, Jaheira and whoever you pick as #4)

2, 11, and 17

(OC Asks: Put Those Guys in Situations!)

Wheee, so many prompts. :D TY!

For Hector:

Your character is being offered three wishes by a genie. The usual rules reply. What do they wish for?

A healthy normal heart for Karlach (obviously)

Probably something nice for the monastery that it's been needing, like fixing a big wall that's been broken forever or something like that.

Some kind of cool magical item that gives him and his friends a group chat of some sort even as they start dispersing in the post-game.

-----

7. If your character could have an infinite supply of ONE food, which food would they choose?

Hm. 🤔

I think Hector does not have a particularly adventurous palate. There's exactly zero chance that the monastery where he lived for fifty years was doing exciting culinary things down in the kitchen; this is a man for whom variety was a foreign concept before the nautiloid showed up. We're going to go with a nice venison roast, because it seems something he would likely be familiar with and enjoy.

If this ever comes up as a discussion question in camp, Gale absolutely facepalms aggressively when he says this and starts pointing out much more exotic and interesting meals he could choose, to which Hector is sort of politely puzzled and says, "But I like venison."

-----

9. Your character gets stranded on an island. They can choose one item to have with them. What do they choose?

Hrmdehrm. Something practical, I suspect. A knife, or flint and steel. I don't know exactly how well Hector would do at surviving on his own without the help of anyone around him but he would need all the help he can get.

-----

For Karlach (she's not an OC but I will do my best regardless :D ):

4. Your character has to give a ten-minute speech on a subject of their choice to a room full of experts. What subject do they choose?

This literally actually happens in game, more or less; you can ask her the best way to kill a demon and she gets really excited and infodumps at you about all the different types. It's adorable and was ABSOLUTELY one of the things that first made Hector fall in love with her.

Hector to Karlach:

So... the answer is demon-hunting, and Hector would listen to the whole thing with the biggest heart-eyes imaginable. XD

-----

10. Your character finds a lost child. What do they do?

Again, we actually sort of get an example of this in-game, when Yenna comes to camp. Karlach is super pleased to help her, offers to play games with her, and is just generally a sweetheart. I think in any similar situation she would do the same; make sure the kid had a safe place to be, as long as necessary, and work to find their parents. She grew up poor and I'm sure knew plenty of street kids in the Outer City, and probably saw the big advantage that she was given by having a safe place and a roof over her head, and she also talks about wishing she'd been able to help with Jaheira's halfway house instead of working for Gortash; I think she'd want to help any way she could for a kid in need.

-----

15. Your character is doing a sponsored challenge to raise money for charity. What kind of challenge do they do?

Something physical, probably. She has an idle animation in camp doing one-armed pushups so maybe something around that. I could also see her doing one of those hot sauce challenges or the like.

Kissing booth would also get a lot of takers and give her lots of long-denied physical contact. XD

-----

For the Hectorverse Group! (We'll put in Minsc as the fourth since he was the standard fill in the flex slot for the latter chunk of the game.)

2. Your characters have been locked in a room together for 24 hours. It is impossible to escape the room by any means. What happens?

LOL. This sort of depends on the scenario that has put them in the room. It's impossible to escape, but is the confinement for a known reason with a known end time? Do they get out after 24 hours? If so, this is absolutely IMMEDIATELY taken as an excuse for everyone to get some goddamn rest. Jaheira sacks out in one corner, Hector and Karlach snuggle up in another, Minsc and Boo just kind of vibe until the time is up.

If they're just stuck there indefinitely things get a lot more tense. Karlach and Minsc definitely start getting restless at the start of the second day and between them smash a large dent in the wall with brute force. Jaheira and Hector have to divide their time between examining the room and trying to figure out why they're there and how to communicate with anyone outside, and taking turns talking their two pet berserkers repeatedly down off the rage ledge.

11. Your characters are sharing stories around the fire. What story does each character tell? Whose story is the most popular?

Jaheira and Minsc probably do most of the talking here. They have lots of fun stories about traveling with Caden in Amn and before, and Hector (being a history nerd) and Karlach (being a bit hero-worshippy) are both FASCINATED to hear about it. When it's her turn, Karlach avoids talking about the Blood War entirely, even if encouraged, and focuses on telling stories from her childhood in Baldur's Gate. Hector feels a bit foolish because he doesn't feel like anything of story-worthy interest really happened at the monastery for the most part, and sort of avoids the question by making some comment about not being a good storyteller.

17. One of the characters in the group has been replaced by an evil doppelganger. How does the group figure out who it is?

Damn it, Orin! [shakes fist] XD

This was really Hector's nightmare scenario and when it turned out to be the case with Lae'zel it scared the shit out of him. I am pretty sure he and everyone in the camp came up with some secret code words and gestures after that to use for this purpose, things that Orin wouldn't know, in order to verify their identity with each other if there was ever further doubt. I don't think they'd be anything obvious, but something mundane that could be slipped into the conversation without arousing a potential doppelganger's suspicion.

[dearestaeneas]

Gender

hi! i wrote this before i kind of officially came out? i identify as genderqueer/gnc and i use she/he pronouns! gender is a journey! wheeeeee! (and please keep in mind, this is just my personal experience! i also cannot say for sure if i still feel this way all the time! we’re always growing and changing! who knows, babey! there is no right or wrong way to be queer and/or find yourself!)

---

The cramps in your abdominal ring red behind your eyes. Your legs ache, your mind is foggy. You’ve done this since you were barely a teenager, menstruation is nothing new. You’ve never wanted children, and as you learn more about the world and its options you daydream of lies you could tell doctors so they would sterilize you.

Your ideal body type is a Barbie doll. Always has been. Feminine in appearance (BREASTS), but completely androgynous from a biological standpoint. You assumed this was normal.

You’re not trans, per se. You’ve never felt like you’re in the wrong body, simply that your correct body was built the wrong way. You’re not trans because you don’t see anything wrong with your gender, your problem is your sex.

But what does that mean? We’re in a culture that doesn’t understand the language. You’re using that misunderstanding of language to invalidate yourself. So, rather than relying on a culture that doesn’t understand and won’t learn, you talk to people. The general consensus is “cis people don’t think like that.” Huh.

Okay. Okay. That’s cool! We can work with that. Trans still doesn’t feel right, though. Does nonbinary? Agender? Ah, the new challenge.

You don’t think so, after all, rather than not fitting into the binary, you’re playing both sides of the team. You’ve tried they/them pronouns, she/they, she/he/they…and the “they” always makes you bristle. Why? Why does it not feel right?

Most of your friends are some combination of she/they, he/they, they/he, and so on. Maybe you felt peer pressure. Not to be not cis, but to fit with a certain flavor of pronoun. After all, you’d never seen someone use she/he. You thought, maybe the “they” had to be there. Maybe it would also be a buffer- after all, you’re a WOMAN. You can’t tell people you want to be referred to with masculine pronouns. No, no, the palatability of your existence is much nicer with gender neutral ones.

But you hate them. You order your list as she/he/they, because you think it tells people your preference in order. You expect to be called “she” almost exclusively. That’s fine, you like those ones. But people seem to skip over the “he.” “They” becomes the favorite for those trying to respect your wishes to explore. Resentment bubbles.

Fuck it, get rid of it. It isn’t working. Seeing “she/he” in your social media bios gives you an unfamiliar tingling, right in the pit of your stomach. It’s nice.

Is this what my friends feel like? Is this what “they” means to them? I thought I was missing out on the beautiful feeling of gender neutrality, and in a way, I was.

You do some searching. Bigender. Huh!

Redditors are sharing their experiences of attraction from a bigender lens. It’s familiar. You were never fully comfortable with the label of “bisexual,” and you wondered why. You’ve always said “queer.” That word has a power in itself, the beauty of reclamation. You like that. You’re not sure if this new and fun term is right, but it feels like a good start, if nothing else.

You’ve realized that all of a sudden talking about your identity has become infinitely more fun. You...want to do it. It’s become a game, rather than this hulking and unknowable entity. Huh.

[megaderping]

Another school day passed uneventfully. Akechi attended his classes, listened and took notes, and in English class, wowed his peers by correctly noting the difference between homophones and homonyms. He wore his best fake smile as he stepped out that day, nodding when people acknowledged him, but making no effort to approach. They were just faces in a crowd. Their names, their interests, all of it was a blur.

But that was fine. The only people who mattered to Akechi existed outside the classroom. So, naturally, when he caught Kanji waltzing through the entrance gates, he picked up the pace to meet his… friend. It still felt so weird to think of it that way.

An actual friend he could depend on. Someone he could be more open and honest with instead of wearing a palatable mask.

There was an undeniable spring in his step when Akechi finally caught up with Kanji. Beaming, he looked up to him and said, "Kanji-san, I've obtained some fascinating information since our last little chat."

Kanji chuckled. "Oh yeah?"

"Indeed. Narukami-san asked a most peculiar question…" Akechi stepped aside when some other middle schoolers walked by. "Oh! Don't mind us. Kanji-san really isn't as intimidating as he appears."

"Hey! That's…" Kanji stopped himself, sighing. "Think we oughta find a place to sit down?"

 "Perhaps the Junes Food Court? Just in case Narukami and his merry band grace us with their presence."

Kanji started walking, which seemed to suggest he was in. "'Nother stakeout, huh? Damn, you're relentless."

Following along, Akechi said, "But can you blame me, Kanji-san? They keep their escapades so close to the chest. I even offered my assistance, and Narukami-san just assumed I would fail."

"Sure would be easier if you were on the same page. You've been workin' that brain nonstop since this whole thing started."

"Exactly. Our findings could make solving this case infinitely easier, but since he won't trust me, we'll just have to find our own way." Full Chapter | Read from the Beginning