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#and headspace is such an interesting place to look into!
solradguy · 2 days
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Kind of heavy.
The other day I saw a video of a Russian soldier surrendering to a Ukrainian drone. He had gaunt cheeks, his leg was covered in blood, he had wide, staring, eyes. Someone pointed out he was wearing a wedding ring. There were bomb craters all around him. He cowered when the drone got too close. He couldn't have been much older than me.
One of the comments said something sort of like, "In the early internet you would have to go to specific websites to see grievously wounded children, graphic footage from wars, the last words of condemned men. Now you can find it on the front page of every social media site. You can rewatch the death of a human being with a family at home, with hobbies and a favorite meal, from thousands of miles away through the eyes of machines, recorded in languages you will never know."
And we encourage others to watch these videos and look at these photos. Why? Who is it really helping? Is feeling like we're sharing in their suffering by watching and spreading them through some morbid sense of justice as good as actually doing something? It is good to be aware of these issues, we need to know what's going on in places like Ukraine, Lebanon, and Palestine right now, but man... I can't take this anymore
I'm sorry if I unfollow some people. There is only so much I can blacklist and some things still get through it. I've been in a pit this entire year and I hop online to catch up with friends and interests and it's just endless death and doom. I follow some world news outlets and still get updates on things that way, but I seriously need to make changes to my personal online spaces.
The drone video I saw yesterday and the comment with it have been rattling around my mind for a few days now. Watching these things isn't helping anyone or anything. I know things are bad, I know people need help. Making myself watch these anyway, like it's raising some "awareness" or something, is just making me depressed, cranky, and isolationist.
I hardly draw anymore unless someone pays me to. My 3D printer has a layer of dust on it. Translations I could have done months ago sit unopened in my editor. I've been kind of downplaying how bad this year has been but it has been bad. I don't think I've been in a headspace like this since I was in high school. I'm like a friggin cat and don't like it when people worry for me so I stay quiet about it and just get grumpy instead lol
I hate unfollowing people and breaking mutuals with friends, but I seriously need to, and I'm sorry...
I understand I really didn't need to make a post like this and could have just quietly unfollowed people, but I'm making it anyway to hopefully encourage other people in dark mental pits to make similar changes for the better to their spaces.
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roosterforme · 4 months
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Vintage | Rooster x Reader
Summary: You love teasing your husband about his deep and unwavering devotion to his Bronco, but he's insistent that it would come in second place to you every time, and he intends to prove it. While you're away on deployment, he concocts a plan to get you behind the wheel of your very own vintage beauty.
Warnings: Swears, fluff, mentions of smut
Length: 2700 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
Check out my masterlist for more!
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"Sometimes I swear you love that thing more than you love me."
Your voice startled Bradley as he ran the wet, soapy sponge along the hood of his vintage Ford Bronco, pulling him from his thoughts. That was something you frequently said to him, jokingly claiming that you were the second love of his life. But you both knew it wasn't true. Especially not tonight.
"Hey, Baby," he whispered, coaxing you closer to him as he tossed the sponge back into the bucket. "Come here."
The setting sun painted your face with orange and gold, and he noticed the sadness in your eyes. He quickly wiped his hands on his jeans and then held them out to you, and you were in his arms in an instant. "Bradley," you mumbled against his chest as he squeezed you, getting your shirt a little damp in the process. But you didn't seem to mind. "I'm going to miss you."
Detailing and cleaning what used to be his dad's 1973 Bronco had become a way for him to relieve stress. He would get out the soap and turn on the hose when he needed a few minutes to himself. It was easier to be alone in his head, processing his thoughts and worries when he was washing the light blue masterpiece he'd spent so many years and a lot of money preserving. He always found himself in a better headspace to deal with whatever was troubling him when he spent some time with the Bronco. And today was no exception. 
"I'm going to miss you, too."
Sometimes it felt like the nearly five years you and he had been married were just spent alternating deployments. First he would be gone on an aircraft carrier for months on end, and then it would be your turn. You'd be sent abroad with the Navy before returning to him, and then the cycle would begin anew. Everything felt harder when you weren't around, and maybe that's why Bradley was out on the driveway right now instead of helping you pack for your early call time tomorrow morning. 
With your cheek pressed to his sternum, you cried softly. "It's only two months this time. And I'll have access to my phone. And I'll even be home in time for our anniversary. I don't know why I'm feeling so emotional about this."
He pressed his lips to your hair and whispered, "It's not like it gets any easier. You know that. I know that. It's going to feel like two months of hell on my end."
You sniffed hard then looked up at him with a little smirk. "At least you'll have the Bronco to keep you warm."
Bradley groaned and started to walk you backwards toward the house. "I mean, she's pretty and all, and I've definitely spent a night or two curled up around her gear shift, but I never gave her a diamond ring."
Your lips and your soft laughter against his neck sent a jolt of physical pleasure through his body, but he didn't want to rush this. He needed this to last, to hold him over for two months without your touch. Both of you tripped along to the bedroom where he smiled and whispered, "Let me show you that you're my number one girl. Let me prove you always will be."
Bradley was meticulous. He knew every inch of his Bronco, inside and out, but he knew you better. The sounds you made were prettier. The way you clung to him as he brought you pleasure was unparalleled. Your fingers laced with his as he connected his body with yours in the most intimate way, and it left him breathless.
"I love you."
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Two days. He'd only been alone for two days, and he was already halfway through binge watching a season of a show that wasn't even that interesting. When he got home from work, he eyed up the couch and TV before ultimately changing into some sweats and heading back out to the driveway. He looked over the Bronco from hood to taillights, making a mental list of what she needed: new wiper blades, two new tires, and an oil change.
When he took his phone out to order the parts from his favorite website, he must have typed something wrong. It rerouted him to a vintage Ford resale page that left him staring at a sage green 1975 Bronco in rough condition. Man, she was still pretty though, with her original chrome and hubcaps. She was just an hour away, and the price wasn't too bad...
He glanced up at the blue gem in front of him. An idea started to take shape. He wondered how you would feel about it. With a smile, he ordered the wiper blades and oil filter that he needed and went inside to make dinner. But he couldn't stop picturing that chipped, green paint, and the vinyl that needed to be patched. 
If he knew he could get you hooked on a Bronco of your very own, he'd make this purchase. Two months to go. Shit, he might have just enough time to pull this off. He could practically picture you cranking the engine to life and waving goodbye as you pulled out of the driveway and took your Bronco for a spin. He wouldn't be able to say it with a straight face, but he'd say it anyway. "You love that thing more than you love me, Baby."
When he was stretched out on your side of the bed later that night, enveloped in your sweet scent that clung to the pillows, he closed his eyes and thought long and hard about what he wanted to do. It would be fun to prove to you once and for all where his loyalties lie. Or maybe it could just be a project that would keep him busy, and if you didn't like the idea, he could resell it after you got home. Either way, he drifted to sleep as he thought about you behind the wheel, and he knew it was too perfect to pass up.
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"Hey, Baby," Bradley said with a smirk as he answered his phone.
"Bradley! I miss you like crazy!"
"I miss you, too," he promised as he looked at the rather beat up, green Bronco before him. He got it for a great price when he offered to pay cash, and the tow truck just dropped it off a few days ago. Half of the engine was taken apart on a tarp at his feet, and it was currently jacked up so he could replace the oil pan. But he thought it was gorgeous. "I have a little surprise for you when you get home."
"A surprise?! Tell me. You know I can't wait that long."
"Nah," he said, kneeling down to check the wiring for the headlights. "I think I'll make you wait this one out."
"Rooster!"
"What?" he laughed, wedging the phone between his shoulder and his ear as he slipped his work gloves on and pulled at the loose wire. "You know, this is what you get for always giving me a hard time about my dad's Bronco. I love you so much, Baby, I'll make you wait for the surprise. It'll be sweeter that way."
"You're the worst," you groaned playfully. "Now I'll be thinking about what it could possibly be the whole time I'm gone. I'll be wondering what you have up your sleeve."
"As long as you're thinking about me, I'm happy," he rasped, and your pretty sigh in response left him a little breathless.
"I'm always thinking about you. Promise me as soon as I get back, we'll go for a long drive? Up along the coast? Late at night?"
He loved that idea. It would just look a little different than you were probably imagining if he could get this thing up and running again in time for your return. "We'll make a night of it," he promised. "I'll pack some blankets, and we can sit in the back and look out at the ocean. Can't guarantee I'll be able to keep my hands to myself though."
"Mmm. That's what I'm counting on."
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After about two weeks of watching a lot of YouTube videos posted by professionals, Bradley finally had the engine rebuilt. He was just waiting for some parts to arrive before he could put it back in place. "You're a needy one, aren't you?" he asked the green Bronco. "Nothing like her. She's a saint." He nodded his head toward the blue one before kneeling to replace the taillights. 
He was quickly realizing that the money he saved on the cost of the actual vehicle was being eaten up in the expensive, vintage parts. He was lucky he knew how to do most of this himself, even if it took twice as long. Today he was replacing the brakes and listening to a Motown playlist, and he fully realized that he felt calmest when he was with you or a Bronco. He snorted at how ridiculous that fact was as he scooted under the vehicle, but it was true. And having you tucked away in the back with the tailgate dropped, all wrapped up in a blanket while you turned him on just by existing.... well, that's when he would be happiest of all.
As the weeks wore on and the project progressed, the day finally arrived when it was time to try to start her up and take her for a little drive. Everything smelled like new rubber from the tires he'd just put on. The vinyl seats were still in bad shape, but when he slipped the key into the ignition and turned it, the engine purred to life.
Bradley's head tipped back as he groaned softly. "So fucking pretty. My god." He tapped the accelerator gently with his foot, enjoying the rev of the engine. He smoothed his hands along the steering wheel and the dashboard before he adjusted the rear view mirror to accommodate his height. Then he flicked the chrome switch and turned on the radio which he was surprised still worked.
My Girl by the Temptations poured from the speakers as the station crackled to life, and that felt like a very good sign. "Let's get out of here, Sweetheart," he whispered before shifting into reverse and leaving the driveway and his toolbox behind.
She was smooth and steady and everything he was hoping for. Would it ever fully compete with Goose's Bronco? Probably not. Was it worth the investment anyway? He'd find out next week when you got home. There were just a few things left to do before he dropped it off to be repainted and have the interior patched, and then she'd be good as new.
Bradley's phone rang in his pocket, and he smiled when he saw it was you. "Hey, Baby."
"Bradley! I miss you so much. I swear, if this thing was longer than two months, I wouldn't make it. What are you up to?"
"Oh, I'm just out for a little drive."
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After eight weeks of nothing more than a few scant phone calls, Bradley was more than ready to have you home again. Maybe you and he could take a few days off from work. He'd help you catch up on some sleep after initially keeping you up all night. He already had some blankets ready to go as soon as you said you wanted to drive up to Carlsbad and watch the surfers at sunset before making love in the back of your Bronco.
Your Bronco. His wife's Bronco. It would take some getting used to, but it already made him smile every time he thought about it. With his hands on that familiar steering wheel, he drove toward the Naval base where both of you spent so much of your time. He waited, leaning against the light blue hood until you came running toward him in your uniform with your bags.
"Bradley!" you shrieked as you landed in his arms where you belonged. 
"I missed you," he promised, finally kissing your lips again after so many weeks. He felt your bag hit his foot, and he smiled as he tilted your face up for better access to your mouth.
"I missed you, too," you moaned softly, and he was already making the move to get you back home and remind you what you meant to him. But you dug your feet in outside the passenger door. 
"Where's my surprise?" you asked as you tucked your fingers into the top of his jeans and grinned up at him. "I've been thinking about it nonstop. Is it you?"
"No," he replied with a chuckle as his gaze drifted toward the Bronco. "You'll see soon enough."
You glanced at where he was looking, and you rolled your eyes before kissing his chin. "Did she keep you company while I was gone? She looks pristine, like you spend some time working on her."
Bradley kissed your forehead. "Just get in, Baby," he rasped. "The sooner we get home, the sooner your little surprise will make sense."
He knew the routine by heart now. The short ride home would start out with you holding his right hand and playing with his fingers while he drove. Then your hand would migrate to his thigh when the Bronco was about five blocks away. Then as soon as the tires touched the driveway, you'd unbuckle your seatbelt and make your way over to his lap.
The routine was important to him. He loved it. He loved taking you inside and directly to bed before coming back out much later to get the bags. He thrived on the return to normal life that was triggered by the routine. But today, he knew you weren't going to end up on his lap, and that was more than okay.
When your hand settled on his thigh exactly five blocks away from home, Bradley smiled. Your fingers crept up inch by inch as you leaned closer and whispered in his ear that you had their fifth wedding anniversary all planned out for the following weekend. You were playing with the zipper of his jeans by the time he could see the house, and he just waited for it. He was not disappointed.
"What the fuck is that?" you gasped, both hands going to the dashboard in front of you as you leaned to check out the freshly painted green Bronco as he coasted into the driveway. "Bradley?" you asked, glancing at him with wide eyes as he shifted into park.
He smiled and leaned over to kiss your softly parted lips. "This is your surprise. You're always joking about how much I love my Bronco, but I'll never love anything more than I love you."
You pressed your lips to his once before pulling away, shaking your head slightly. "So you got me one of my own?" you asked, jerking your thumb toward the green one.
He nodded and pulled his key from the ignition before pressing it into your palm. "Yep. She's all yours."
"Wait," you whispered, your brow creasing in confusion as you looked down at your hand. "This is your key."
"No, it's your key. The key to the green one is in the house. That's my key."
You gaped at him as your eyebrows shot upwards. "You're giving me your Bronco?"
"Yep."
"But," you whispered, turning to look out the window, "I can drive the other one."
"No, I bought the green one with myself in mind," he replied, taking your chin gently in his hand so you were looking at him again. "This one's better. She's sweet. Like you. She's yours."
"Oh my god, Bradley."
He was wrong; you did end up in his lap. Right where you belonged. His hands settled at your hips as you kissed every inch of his face while he laughed.
"I want to take her for a spin," you whispered, nudging him out of the driver's seat with your knee. "Go."
He smiled as he walked around to the passenger side of the blue Bronco, and he barely had the door closed before you started the engine and shifted into gear. "Pretty soon you'll love this thing more than you love me, Baby."
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He gave you his Bronco. The green one was for him. That's how you know he loves you. I hope they do some nasty shit in the green one to break it in. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls
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frogchiro · 10 months
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Also I was thinking about something slightly...darker i guess?? I'm in a very weird headspace rn and this is my therapy
cw: legal age gap, creepy Simon and generaly unsettling behavior, obsessive and possessive Ghost, he's a pushy dick in this and very much a scumbag, he kinda gets off on seeing you helpless
How about reader who got recently kicked out by her shitty parents, 'she's now an adult and needs to start acting like that', except now she's barely in her 20's with little to nothing to her name except her clothes, the little money she managed to save over the years and a job as a waitress in a small café.
Putting together the saving she manages to rent out an apartment that was almost suspiciously cheap, not to mention the shady landlord who only contacted her through the phone but she couldn't just crash at her friend's place forever.
The moment you arrived at the destination you knew why was the place so ridiculously cheap; this build was...something. An old dilapitating apartment building, four stories high with old wooden-framed windows, some of them smashed. Empty beer bottles laid smashed next to the stairs mixing with cigarette butts, graffiti covered the ground floor walls and a very sad looking patch of grass that you think was supposed to be a garden were solemnly staring back at you as if taunting 'come on, try and run'.
Imagine sleazy neighbour Simon, dishonorably discharged from the army and now living in this shithole too, who takes a deep interest in the pretty young thing that moved in recently, almost growling when he first caught your scent; fresh and kinda sweet, feminine and clean. Definitely not the smells that he's accustomed to here: stale cigarettes, the stench of alcohol and wet dirt and fuck knows what else those creepy fuckers are concocting in their holes in here.
You're clearly new to...this. Simon can almost taste it; you were probably kicked out after pa and ma decided they're done with you...But who could throw out a pretty flower like you? Soft, trembling body, wide doe eyes almost brimming with tears of fright, fuck it does things to him.
Simon sure as hell wouldn't mind the company of a soft young woman like you, and he's pretty sure you wouldn't mind being protected and taken care of by a big, strong male like himself, right?
Even if you do, it's not like you have any say in that.
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snowave · 2 months
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Just another brainrot of mine regarding Zayne, but then again, what's new?
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Zayne who...
...is the type to play with your hair idly.
...enjoys quality time with you, no matter how busy he is with his shifts (or how tired he is).
"Dr. Greyson said you came to visit but you almost immediately left when you saw me napping. I told you, you should wake me up, my time with you is considered as resting."
...is the type who makes his presence known despite of being away from each other from time to time.
...always tries to understand you and your quirks, and grows to love them as they makes you, you.
...who subtly leaves his things in your place to have the perfect excuse to come and stay over whenever he feels like it.
"I can't find my tie, I think I left it on your couch. Can I pick it up and maybe see you as well?"
...is the type to keep track of your schedule, so that he can match his time with yours.
...is the type to give you space, and give you silent encouragement when you feel down, because sometimes, we all just need a presence to hold onto; something to keep us grounded instead of words that we usually hear.
"I'm here, don't worry. I'm not going anywhere, cry your heart out."
...thinks of you before himself. He always talks in a way that will cater you, your interests, your needs, your wants, etc.
"Hm? What am I doing here? Well, my day is free so it's all yours. What do you want to do?"
...scolds you for not having self-preservation. The man just wants you to see healthy and well all the time.
...probably does not makes you lift a finger whenever you're with him. Zayne isn't a vocal person, but his affection can be seen at the way he delivers through acts of services.
...lets you make fun of him, and you'll get away with it. It amuses him to no end how the gears in your brain work, and how you always manage to think of things that you tease him about.
...talks to you in the most gentle way. Despite his image, Zayne always talks to you softly, and probably never raises his voice even though he's upset or mad.
...gives you space when you get into fights or arguments with each other. It gives you both the mental capacity you need to talk everything out in a proper way, without the need to throw useless and hurtful words to each other.
"I'm sorry. Are you in the right headspace to talk about it now? Or do you need some more time? I can wait."
...probably keeps a photo of you, or photos of both of you in his office and home, framed and delicately placed somewhere he could see immediately.
...becomes clingy in the morning. He relishes in the feeling of you wrapped in his arms, the feeling of your body pressed against his, and the calming beating of your heart. He loves it when you snuggle closer to him, like a cat seeking for warmth.
"It's my day off today, I can stay more in bed with you. Just let me be, hm? Let me hold you much longer."
...the type to look at you with eyes filled with so much longing, yearning, and love, that sometimes you feel like you'll be lost when you stare at him.
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And finally, Zayne who loves you more than you think. Lore-wise, he really does. But in general setting, if he can, he'll do everything just to make sure that you're always happy, that you always feel loved, cared for, and needed.
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Feel free to add more, I really, really just like talking about Zayne. I guess, it would be nice to have someone to yap with about him.
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pluralasking · 3 months
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#One-Hundred
[pt: #one-hundred]
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In order to celebrate 100 days of posting, here are 100 questions for you to answer! You can either answer them all at once, or let others send in the numbers they are most curious about!
Some of them are general questions, others are just really silly and should not be taken too serious. I put a lot of effort into coming up with all of these, so I truely hope you have fun with this!
For simplicity sake, all questions will use the words "System" and "Members".
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1. What is your System name and / or the name you collectively go by?
2. Which word do you prefer to use for your System? (example: System, Collective, Constellation, ...)
3. What are your Systems origins, if you choose to label them?
4. Do you have any Subsystems?
5. Do you have any Sidesystems?
6. What is your opinion on you& / your& language and similar types?
7. What methodes do you use to keep track of your System and it's Members?
8. What is your Systems ways of communication?
9. Is communication hard or easy for you (and why is it the way it is)?
10. Do you view yourselves as parts of one person or as multiple people in one body?
11. Who are you out to as plural?
12. What languages do you collectively / one of you speak?
13. What is something you can't seem to collectively agree on?
14. If you have a collective Identity (such as Gender or Orientation), what is it?
15. Do you collectively identify as queer / LGBTQIA+?
16. Do you collectively identify as Otherkin, Alterhuman or Nonhuman?
17. Do you have a collective rentry / carrd / something along those lines? (feel free to share!)
18. What does switching feel like for you?
19. Are you Monoconscious, Polyconscious or something else?
20. What does fronting feel like for you?
21. How many System members do you have?
22. Which word / words do you prefer to use for members of your System?
23. Which age group seems to be the most common in your System?
24. Which gender seems to be the most common in your System?
25. Are there any talents / hobbies you picked up because of a Member?
26. Do you have any in-system relationships?
27. Do you label roles within your System (and if yes, which ones?)
28. Are most of your Members introjected, brainmade or something else?
29. Do you use names, emojis or something similar to sign off messages (and if yes, which ones and why?)
30. Do any of your System members use Xenogenders?
31. How do Members pick face claims?
32. Do you have any Introjects of popular sources?
33. Do you have any Introjects of unpopular sources?
34. Do you have nonhuman Members?
35. Do any of you use Typing Quirks?
36. Do all of you front, or only a selected amount?
37. Are there any Members who can't or prefer to not speak?
38. Are most of you short or tall in height?
39. Is there a Member that is collectively loved by all in the System?
40. Do any of you struggle with being front-stuck a lot of the time?
41. Do you have a Headspace (if not, is there a reason)?
42. What does your Headspace look like?
43. How do Members look like in Headspace? (example: Cartoony, Foggy, Realistic, ...)
44. Is there a reason why the Headspace looks the way it looks?
45. Is it easy for you to enter Headspace?
46. Do you remember what happened in Headspace when you switch into front?
47. Does time in Headspace pass (and if yes, is it at the same speed as in real life)?
48. What is your favourite place in Headspace?
49. Are there "NPCs" within your Headspace?
50. Are there any interesting fun facts about your Headspace?
51. Are there any "System Stereotypes" you fit into?
52. Who of you would be considered the "evil alter"? (in a lighthearted, joking manner)
53. What is your favourite inside-joke with a Member?
54. What is your favourite Plural meme?
55. Is there any character that you headcanon as plural?
56. Is there any show or movie that you believe is a good plural representation, despite that not being its intention?
57. Is there any song that you believe decribes your plural experience?
58. What about an artwork that describes your plural experience?
59. Which Member of your System do you believe to be the prettiest of them all?
60. Do you collectively have a lucky number?
61. When did you first discover your System?
62. How many Members did you know about during your Syscovery?
63. Was accepting your Plurality a challenge for you?
64. How did you learn about Plurality?
65. Where there any signs of your Plurality, if you look back at your past?
66. Do you think your Syscovery changed a lot in your life?
67. If you're out to others as plural, have they ever told you later on that they already thought about it before you realised?
68. What was the biggest struggle during your Syscovery?
69. Was there any big event that led to your Syscovery?
70. What is something you want questioning plurals to know?
71. Are you Neurodivergent (and if yes, how?)
72. Do you have any physical disability?
73. Do you have a dissociative disorder?
74. Do you have any other disorder?
75. Do symptom vary in intensity depending on the fronter?
76. Do you think your disability / disorder has an influence on your plurality?
77. Do you have amnesia of any kind?
78. Are there Members who deal better with symptoms than others?
79. Do your disorders / disabilities influence communication or switching within your System in any way?
80. Does being plural help with your disorders in any way? (example: another Member switching in to take care of the body during difficult times, ...)
81. Which is your favourite plural flag?
82. If you have one, which is your favourite plurality related tumblr blog?
83. What is a fun fact about your System?
84. What is a flavour of ice cream that describes you collectively?
85. Which pride flag is the prettiest, in your collective opinion?
86. If you collectively had to choose between being a sweet or a sour candy, which do you pick?
87. Your body always morphs into what the current fronter(s) look like, would you want this power or not?
88. Is there a Hatsune Miku in your System?
89. Who has been in your System the longest (if you can remember)?
90. If you collectively had to choose, would you rather only eat sweet foods or only eat savoury foods for the rest of your life?
91. If you collectively had to choose, would you pick to become a vampire or a werewolf?
92. Your body is transfered into one of your Members sources, which do you pick and why?
93. If all of you turned into animals right this second, which animals would we find in your System?
94. What would a Minecraft server with all of your Members look like? (example: chaotic, peaceful, laggy, ...)
95. If you could choose between only living in Headspace or only living in Meatspace (real life), which would you choose?
96. What topic would you collectively make a youtube channel about? (it can't be plurality!)
97. Which superpower would your body obtain, if you had to collectively decide on one?
98. Who would pick the coolest tattoo for the System and who would pick the worst?
99. If you only were allowed to eat one food for the rest of your life, but you would have to decide on the food collectively, what would it be and what would the decision making look like?
100. What is the most fun about doing polls and answering questions, in your opinion?
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dailyadventureprompts · 2 months
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Hello Dapper. I don’t really expect too much about this, but do you have any ideas for Wargs? They have an interesting relationship with goblins and are weird in that they’re essentially sapient wolf monsters, but I don’t think they’re ever really used that creatively.
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Monsters Reimagined: Wargs, wolf panics, and the Economics of Lupophobia
While the surface level answer is pretty simple (warg is a conversion of varger, an old Norse way to refer to mythological wolves like Fenrir) there's actually a surprising amount of material to drill into here on the topic of sapient wolf monsters, especially for someone like me who has a interest in moral panics and mass hysteria events. Wolves were effectively a boogyman for pre-industrial societies, a deep seated generational fear that we only recognize today through cultural relics like the big bad wolf or boy who cried wolf.
TLDR: If you want to do something interesting with wargs beyond just "wolves that talk" I'd advise playing to their folk / fairytale roots. They're creatures of embodied dread, drawn from the stuff of the feywild to sow fear among those who would travel off the path or too close to the wilderness. This lets you tell interesting stories about how the party/major characters respond to fear: Does fear of being attacked in the dark drive the party to make risky decisions that might endanger their quest? How do the villagers react when the wolves are very literally at the door, demanding just one of their neighbours as a meal in exchange for safety?
I'd also advise getting weirder with a warg's powers, playing into that fear of the unknown by doing unexpected things. The party can fight off a pack of wolves, sure, but what does it mean when the lead wolf rips off the bard's shadow and takes off into the night?
Background: If you want a window into the headspace of wolf-panic, think about the neigh omnipresent fear of sharks created by the Jaws franchise. Children who have never seen the movie, let alone seen a shark in person can become irrationally afraid of getting into deep water because they've absorbed the pervasive cultural phobia, which goes onto shape environmental policy as sharks are overhunted or killed out of spite for their perceived threat.
So it was for wolves, even after they were largely hunted to near extinction by medieval and postmedieval societies, the fear of them was so ingrained into cultural traditions that wolf and werewolf panics were a thing that went hand in hand with witchtrails. France had a country wide one as late as the 1760s and the movie based on it ended up inspiring Bloodborne. Alternatively look at the anti-wolf efforts during the colonization of the Americas, right up to the opposition to reintroducing wolves back to Yellowstone park.
On that note (and because we can't have a Monsters Reimagined without some kind of class analysis), lets talk about how these fears are propagated: On many levels it makes sense for everyday people to be afraid of wolves, they're a hunting species that can absolutely pose a danger to us, and when you're living or travelling outside the protection of a settlement you really are vulnerable to a coordinated pack of carnivores running you down.
However, the primary threat that wolves pose to humans isn't predation, it's property damage, specifically in how they kill livestock. While we can talk about individual farmsteads beset by beasts, in reality the herds that wolves were most likely to prey upon belonged to the landowning classes, powerful people who had a profit incentive in seeing wolves driven off or exterminated. This is where you get bounties on dead wolves, not just paying for the value of the hide but actively rewarding people for going out and killing as many wolves as possible to the point of it becoming a profession. This practice has existed for MILLENIA and is still active today, primarily in places where big agriculture influences governments.
It seems incidental at first but then you realize that it fits the model of just about every other kind of cultural panic: widespread ignorance and fear that just so happens to mobilize the populace in a way that financially benefits a select few. You can see the same thing happening today in england with badgers of all things, which have been identified with the local dairy industry as a threat to their herds. This is not only led them to petition the government to cull the badger population, but to put out anti-badger propaganda, eventually turning it into a culture war issure to the point where conservative mouthpieces like Jeremy Clarkson openly encourages killing and gassing badgers on sight.
Returning to the land of fantasy for now: I think it's worth taking the idea of the warg and mixing it with a few other "black dog" cultural archetypes, which can also include the creatures like the shuck or church grimm. In this instance the warg is a sort of curse made manifest, the fear of a haunted place given literal teeth. People who transgress into these forbidden spaces find themselves pursued by a manifestation that dogs them till they're exhausted and vulnerable, much like a wolf harrying its prey.
The bhargest is also of special interest here, considering how I like to relate goblins back to the feywild. You could easily see bhargests as agents of fey that feed on human fear, leading a pack of goblins or hobs that occupy the desolate lands they've called to haunt. My version of Maglubiyet would also delight in employing such creatures as his emissaries.
Going back to the vargr/ Norse mythology angle, it's interesting that most of the wolves that show up are destined to devour something, whether it be a god or celestial certanty like the moon and sun. It's like the concept of an inevitable chase is so fundimental to what a wolf IS that it became a theme of ragnarok's inevitable certantly. Consider having certan packs of wargs be offspring of some fenrir style god eater, beasts of forboding doom who's mere presence is an omen of ill times.
Alternatively, if you wanted to play on the big bad wolf angle, give wargs the ability to take on flimsy human disguises, all the better to get close to their pray and sow fear among the townsfolk. Historical wolf panics after all are not all that different than serial killer panics, and it'd be a fun twist on a traditional werewolf adventure to have the party on a creature that didn't play by the usual lycanthropic rules.
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yuellii · 1 year
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3 + 1
01. The first time you’ve ever seen Neuvillette smile was one forced upon him by Furina, both her thumbs pulling at the edges of his mouth like a playful child and her mean grandfather.
His brows were furrowed, clearly holding some distress and confusion at the Hydro Archons antics.
You were just passing by the offices in this moment, a stack of papers in your hands as you happened to catch a glimpse of the Chief Justice and your Archon. Such a silly sight, but in the end, you really had to work on these papers.
02. The second time you’ve ever seen Neuvillette smile must’ve been a trick of the light. So slight and practically invisible, that you still question if you ever saw it at all.
It was one morning where he came in late to the offices, and on this particular morning you also happened to get a free extra coffee. You couldn’t finish it, so it was only natural in your conscious to walk into his office and hand it to him. He might’ve smiled—you liked to think that he did—but he was definitely pleasant with his appreciative words when you placed it on his desk.
A quiet little “Thank you” with that honeyed tone of his was certainly warming, but you were much more interested in the slight curve of his lip.
03. The third time you’ve ever seen Neuvillette smile was quiet amazing.
You never knew he could smile so beautifully, but you also weren’t too surprised when it was down to a Melusine. Those little workers loved him like a father, and you could certainly see why now. So gentle and ethereal—you never knew your boss could look like this. Not when the rest of Fontaine thinks otherwise.
Perhaps you were just more surprised to be in his presence. Did you think he’d be partial to hiding his smile from you? Well, certainly that was not the case when he displayed such an expression for you to stare at and see.
And with the most serene of voices you’ve ever heard from him, he spoke nicely to the Melusine with a tranquil ricochet that haunted your head for days.
“Thank you for the reminder,” he told her, still holding that smile. “I’ll be sure to remember it later.” And then his hand reached down to pat her little head between her ears, and it felt like you just saw something sacred. How kind.
04. The fourth time you’ve ever seen Neuvillette smile was…
Well, it was to you.
“It’s cold out here, Monsieur.”
His mouth was slightly agape with a surprise that you found him standing here. Here, in this pouring rain. Here, clothes drenched on a Tuesday morning when the both of you should be in the office by now. And here, with your umbrella over his head. “You might catch a fever,” you spoke upon his silence.
And here, once more, was when his headspace felt elevated at the feel of your hand press against his forehead, the coldness swirling with the nausea of the rapid rainfall. There was an odd comfort in there, one that had his body leaning closer under the umbrella. “You should be at work,” he told you, albeit not as stern as he would’ve liked. The sight of him was pitying, especially with the way his head tipped down just to feel more of your hand.
“You as well,” you muttered at him. “You’ve been coming in later as of recent; Has the rain been distracting you?”
He sighs into the comfort of your worried words. There’s a sudden warmth in the air despite the rain, and it feels as if the downpour suddenly stops—in his head, at least. It’s clear, and it’s laughable. How embarrassing for him to be seen like this by you.
And in the most confusingly human way possible, his body suddenly reacts, and he smiles at you. It’s humorous all of a sudden: the way he’s standing here alone in the rain, late for work. And how you’re also standing here, and how you probably think he’s so weird. It’s humiliating in such a silly way, he can’t help the joy he feels at your presence.
You’re clearly flabbergasted, and he can’t quite blame you. But when he brushes it all off, saying, “It’s nothing. Let’s head to the office now, shall we?” — All with a smile on his face, mind you. Then maybe this rainstorm might end so soon.
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// not proofread i literally wrote this during my break i have to go to class like right NOW OUARGRHRHHH
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dollgxtz · 1 month
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heyyy, i just read your fics and wanted to tell you that I LOVE how you write! Im excited for future works and definitely will check on your blog more often now. I also saw that you are willing to write things such as ddlg and stuff, and I wanted to request it with Sylus.🖤
The Best Cure
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Word count: 2.6k
Tags: daddy!sylus, sylus x fem!reader, daddy kink, ddlg, pet names like kitten, sweetie, little one, little girl, daddy, fingering, teasing, some slight punishment, overstim if you squint, lots of fluff near the end, tw for mentions of vomit
AN: I was trying so hard to get this done in the midst of everything else going on in my life but I had it 80 percent done so I figured I might as well finish and publish it tonight LOL. Ty for requesting anon <3
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It was hot. Way too hot. Sweat beads form on your brow and your insides churn with nausea. You shift in bed a bit, bedsheets clinging to your clammy skin as you do so. A large bowl sits on the bedside table, ready for any vomit that threatens to come up your throat. You hadn’t thrown up at all today, but you still wanted to be prepared for the possibility. Each passing moment and stomach churn made that fear become more and more like it was going to be reality.
The black and heavy wooden door to the room suddenly opens, light pouring in to the very dark room. Sylus peers in, eyeing your disheveled figure.
“You should’ve had Luke and Kieran turn the ac down while I was gone. Poor thing”. He walks in, completely closing the door behind him.
A pair of delicate hands gently lifts your torso, propping you up with a mountain of pillows and plushies piled against the headboard. Sylus sits on the bed beside you, his worry carving a deep divot between his brows. He reaches out to test your temperature with the back of his hand, the other placing a thermometer under your tongue for good measure. You grimace and whine when he moves his hand away, earning a chuckle from him.
“Don’t look at me like that, kitten” he chuckles, moving his hand back to caress your cheek with his thumb. His brows tilt in concern before giving you a soft smile. “Daddy will take care of you”
You feel your cheeks heat up with the sound of that nickname. It wasn’t the first time he had addressed himself as such, and yet it never seemed to make you any less flustered. You had called him that by complete accident one night while half asleep, and while he had been taken aback a bit, he leaned into it completely after some light teasing (of course). Besides, he had already had an inkling you were into that kind of thing, coupled with your childish interests and tendencies.
He didn’t mind at all though. It was absolutely adorable the way you changed when it was just the two of you. The way you melt in his arms, become clingy and desperate for his touch. You go from Linkon’s fierce hunter and protector to his giggly little girl. And he couldn’t get enough. Knowing that he was a safe space for you to be this way meant the world to him.
However, you were feeling worse for wear and didn’t exactly want to be so agreeable today. You glare up at him and swat his hand away from your face, a nagging feeling of displeasure and nausea stirring in your gut.
And like waves crashing against the shore, emotions well up within you, pricking at the back of your eyes and bubbling in your head—discontent, worry, pride—all battering against the vulnerable neediness that yearns for tender care. Your lips press tight in a vain attempt to keep them from wobbling, pushing away the impulse to relent and fall into that soft headspace.
“Go away. Aren’t you supposed to be bathing in the blood of your enemies or something?” you spat, attempting to turn away from him. Sylus says nothing as he sets down the thermometer, moving closer to hold you in a tight embrace. You struggle against him for a few short moments, only stopping when the wooziness in your gut and head take over. Your body relaxes in his arms finally and he chuckles again.
“Done with your little tantrum?” he coos, planting a few kisses on your forehead. “And for your information, my enemies can wait. I gotta make sure this sick little kitten feels better don’t I?”
You don’t respond, still in the midst of your internal battle with your head. Sylus definitely notices but doesn’t say anything, taking a look at the thermometer again. He gets up momentarily, heading to the bathroom and coming back with a cool wash cloth.
A cool washcloth wipes over your forehead to clear away the sweat, gentle fingers resting under your chin to keep you still. You start to shake your head in protest, stopping immediately when your vision swims and your stomach induces a sharp pain. You lean over, clutching yourself as you groan in agony. Sharp, angry. stabs erupt all over your insides and you wheeze a little. Tears prick your eyes and slide down your cheeks. Sylus touches your back and begins to rub you, causing you to immediatly sit back up and try to compose yourself.
“I-i don’t need you” you persist, still clutching your stomach. “It’s probably just something bad I ate at work, I’ll be fine”. Every fiber of your mind is trying to fight back against going into your fluffy headspace. A growing part of you wonders why you’re even resisting this hard. Wouldn’t it be easier if you just let go and let him take control?
Sylus watches your labored movements, listening to your halfhearted attempt to lie while still making small circles on your back. His face adorns a stern expression, clearly not believing a single word you’re saying.
“You’re a terrible liar, sweetie” he smiles, his hand leaving the small of your back. “It’s okay to want me, though. I want to take care of you”. His voices drips in reassurance, his unwavering gaze shines with his love and acceptance—the genuine sincerity piercing your soul and vaulting you past your breaking point.
It’s near audible the way your remaining resolve crumbles, leaving you sniveling and grabbing onto his shirt with a fierce, unrelenting grip. He of course reciprocates immediately, lifting you into his lap with ease.
A sigh pushes past his lips, clearly relieved that you finally let go for him. He adjusts the both of you so you’re both further on the bed, his back against the headboard as you straddle his lap and hug him around the neck.
He hushes your sobs, wiping your tearstained face and running his fingers over your hair. Your head finds a resting place on his heart, the steady and rhythmic beat gently relaxing you even more in his hold. Incoherent apologies and words begin to spill from your mouth and into chest. Although he can’t quite understand you, he simply lets you, no irritation or anger to be found anywhere on his face.
“I’m not mad pretty girl, but you can be pretty stubborn when you want to be” he smirks, giving you a light squeeze for further reassurance. “You’re lucky you’re so cute”
You grunt in his chest, pouting slightly. You lift your head a bit, positioning your lips to his neck, slightly biting it in retaliation. While Sylus had no bodily reaction, he slightly raised his eyebrow at your feeble nibbling.
“Oh? Is this little kitten biting her owner?” he scoffs, sliding his hand under the back of your shirt a little. “Seems you’re feeling better after all hm?”
“Hmph. A little…I mostly just find you annoying” you hiss, biting into the skin of his neck a bit harder. Sylus responds by dragging his hand into the hem of your sweatpants, squeezing the roundness of one of your asscheeks. You squeal, jumping back to glare at him.
“Seems we’ve found the cure to your illness, little one” he grins, seemingly enjoying the flustered reaction you just gave him. “You can bite me all you want if you can handle the consequences”
Your mouth left his neck and you looked up at him, already feeling flustered by his words.
“Consequences?” you asked, though you already knew what he meant. Feigning ignorance was just something you did to stall him.
“Of course. You have to teach kitties not to bite the hand that feeds them. Wouldn’t you agree?” he asked, smugness dripping from his voice. You roll your eyes, a wave of nausea overcoming you once again. You wince, leaving Sylus’s lap and laying next to him.
“Im too sick to do any of that anyways…” you whine, looking up at him from your new position. You reach both hands up to him indicating you want to be held. He obliges, repositioning himself to your side and taking you in his arms.
“Is it your stomach still? Want me to rub it?” he asks. You weakly nod, lifting up your shirt a bit so he can slide his hand over. He gently starts caressing the softness of your tummy, making you whimper a bit from the ticklish sensation.
“Too gentle Sy, a little harder…”
“Are you gonna start complaining next that I’m doing it too hard? Make up your mind now sweetie” he chuckles.
You grit your teeth in slight irritation but mostly embarrassment from his teasing. Still, the panging waves of nausea leave no energy for smart or quirky remarks.
“Harder please?” you whimper, half questioningly and half plead. He nods, beginning to rub your stomach with a more intense motion than before. You stifle a groan as his hand shifts back and forth across the skin of your tummy, almost immediately alleviating the pain. You weren’t sure if this was some kind of placebo, or if Sylus’s touch was really just that good. Closing your eyes, you unwittingly let out a few sighs and whimpers.
“Is this hurting you more sweetie? Or does it feel good?”
Sylus’s voice trails off, a knowing and smug expression appearing on his face. Your eyes shoot open, heat creeping across your cheeks and ears.
“Not like that!! It just feels nice…perv” you spat, but you don’t move his hand away. You hear him chuckle as you close your eyes again, once more lost in the sensation of his cold hands massaging the skin of your stomach. You feel yourself getting lost in the motions of his touch, and for once in that entire day, you felt like dozing off.
It wasn’t until you felt his hand slide a bit lower than anticipated that you peered your eyes open a little. But you didn’t flinch or glare at him. Your breath simply hitched, a warm feeling starting to ache in your core. Sylus eyed your expression, pausing momentarily to gauge your reaction.
“If you don’t want me to go lower just say so” he whispered, pressing a kiss against your ear. “But…it might help you feel a little better hm?”
Instinctively you push your lower half up against his hand, the adrenaline and excitement beginning to pool through your veins. Your nausea still lingering, but long forgotten at this point. Taking that as a very clear sign, Sylus crept the rest of his fingers down your sweats, methodically creeping them under your underwear, and finally to your aching heat.
You gasp at the sudden coldness at your clit, your hands gripping the sheets of the bed. As he slowly and methodically starts making circles around your clit, you can feel yourself getting practically out of breath. Letting out a small whine, you peer at Sylus with a pleading expression.
“Don’t-dont tease me, I don’t feel good…” you mewl, tears beginning to prick your eyes. You were telling the truth, feeling so worked up already that any teasing today was certainly going to send you over the edge.
Sylus chuckles, wasting no time to give you what you were wanting. He undoubtedly enjoyed seeing you in such a pathetic state, but how could he say no to the whiny little kitten mewling at his side right now? He places his index finger over your bud, earning a much louder moan from you. You buck your hips into his hand, trying to gain even more sensation.
“Mghm! Keep going…like that…” your voice shakes with desperation. Your hands clutch at the muscles of his arms, trying to keep yourself from shaking like a scared animal. It normally took much longer to get you to this point, but today you needed it so much more. You needed him. And he definitely knew by the way he was granting mercy so quickly.
“So needy for my touch aren’t we~?” Sylus coos, keeping up the unrelenting pace on your bud as promised. “Does my little girl want to cum?”
You nod fervently, breath hitching in your throat as an intoxicating wave of pleasure begins to crest within you. Sylus, ever attuned to the intricacies of your body, senses the impending climax and, much to your displeasure, deliberately slows his pace.
The urge to protest, to lash out in frustration, flares within you, but you're acutely aware of the futility of challenging him. Instead, you gaze up at him, eyes shimmering with unshed tears, silently pleading for release, for heaven.
“Ah ah, you know better. Use your words kitten” his voice commanding but soft. His feathery tone of voice compels you to obey him, your mouth opening slightly ajar to try and tumble the words out, all the while he still circles your aching bud with painful, slow strokes.
“Please Sy, I wanna cum, please?”
“Look at you, I didn’t even have to ask you to beg, how cute”
You don’t get the chance to retort before you feel a sudden intrusion slicking through the wetness in your hole. You gasp, nails embedding themselves in Sylus’s forearms as he unrelentingly begins to finger you with his index whilst his middle continues the pace on your clit. A soaring heat breaks in your core, and you’re practically on the edge of climax when you peer at his lower half, his cock practically bursting out of his own pants. You reach for it instinctively, but Sylus catches your wrist before you could unzip him.
“Daddy…I want you to feel good too” you whimper, voice strained as you try to delay your own release. You try to reach again but unsuccessfully. Sylus shakes his head, pinching your clit slightly. You jump, his swift punishment making you relent and bury your face against him.
“Good girl, see it’s better when you listen to me isn’t it?” he whispers. “Just lay there and cum on my fingers sweetie”
You moan against his chest in response, ecstasy flooding your body and core with one last stroke of your bud. You choke out his name, shaking and panting against his body as your own body obeys his words. Abdomen and thighs shuddering under his gaze as he takes in the sight of you coming undone for him. Even after you came down, his long and dexterous fingers kept pressing down against certain sweet spots, sending you into a new state of sensitivity.
“It hurts Sy…” you plead, attempting to move his wrist. He obliges, removing his wet fingers that are now coated in your desperation and release. He’s quick to move his fingers towards his mouth, and you shut your eyes out of embarrassment.
“Sylus, don’t taste it…I’m gross”
You hear him chuckle as he finishes the last drop off his finger, leaning closer to give you a deep but sensual kiss. Your heart fluttered, tasting yourself a bit on his lips. Still pretty gross to you, but exciting nonetheless.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about” he smirks, readjusting your underwear and pants back onto your body correctly. “You taste sweeter every single time”
You shove your face back into his body out of embarrassment, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing your expression. Your illness was long gone now, surpassed by your orgasm most likely. Smiling into Sylus’s warm body, fuzziness begins to cloud your brain. You hadn’t really slept at all last night, and only slept in increments through the day.
“Tired? Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up kitten” he says, a content smile creeping on his face, very much relieved that you felt well enough to sleep now.
Nestled in the warmth of his embrace, the weight of the day began to dissolve. The rhythmic rise and fall of Sylus’s chest was a soothing lullaby, each breath a gentle nudge towards sleep. The soft hum of his whispered words filled the quiet space between you both, like a comforting melody that played just for you. Your eyelids grew heavy, fluttering closed as the familiar bourbon scent of Sylus’s cologne enveloped you. The world outside blurred into the background, until all that remained was the steady heartbeat beneath your ear, guiding you into a deep and peaceful slumber.
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slut4thebroken · 9 months
Text
Name Your Price
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Pairing | Robert Fischer x escort!reader
Summary | He has too much money for his own good lol.
Warnings | Smut, 18+, sexual content, sex work, face fucking, deep throating, doggy, light spanking lol, humiliation, lots a degradation, a sprinkle of praise, our man is needy and whiny.
Words | 3.4 k
Notes | Imagine that gif is him looking at you on your knees heheh
Ao3 link | <3
Masterlist
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Your usual clientele are definitely in a higher tax bracket than most people, but you’ve never been with someone as rich as Robert Fischer. The second he had you literally sign an NDA you looked him up, seeing that he was next in line to take over his father’s business. That’s when it all started to make sense. Usually men pay to take you out, show you off, and then more often than not, fuck you. But Robert made it clear from the start that he wasn’t interested in those services you offer. He just wanted to fuck you, and he wanted to do it discreetly. 
He bought a hotel room for the night and paid for your ride here, as well as the clothes he requested you wear. What would’ve normally pissed you off if he were paying the usual price would’ve been how nit picky he was. He told you exactly how to do your hair and make up, where to shave and where not to shave, even down to you fucking perfume— it just had to be something sweet like vanilla. You were glad that all of the details were discussed over the phone because you would’ve rolled your eyes and laughed in his face at all of his demands.
He also told you exactly how to act— submissive, obedient, subservient. You’re not normally that kind of submissive, but, again, you agreed simply because of the money. 
Staring at the clock on the nightstand, your foot bounced incessantly as you waited for him. You’ve never been this nervous for a client. He’s paying you so much money… what if you fuck something up? It was almost ironic that your overthinking was putting you into the headspace he requested. 
At 8:59, you moved down to the floor and waited on your knees with your head down, like he requested. Your heart pounded in your chest from the anticipation and it took everything you had to keep your head down when you heard the door open. 
Even though you’re used to fucking ugly, old men, you prayed Robert would be an exception, but you knew that being hot on top of how much he was paying you would be too good to be true. He sounded decently young on the phone, but you still had no indication on whether or not he’s actually attractive. You heard him walking somewhere in the room, then glass clinking, then a drink being poured. 
“Less than a minute in and you’ve already disobeyed me.” He said calmly, making your heart drop. How?? You haven’t even done anything yet! He answered your silent question for you. “Hands behind your back.” You immediately complied, feeling a little dumb for forgetting something so simple. “You’re lucky I’m in a forgiving mood tonight since I’m assuming you’d prefer to leave here with the agreed upon amount?” You weren’t sure if his question was rhetorical or not. He let out a soft sigh and you heard his footsteps before he landed in front of you. 
“Answer me.” 
“Yes, sir. I do prefer that..” When you saw his hand moving forward you almost moaned at the sight of just his fingers. But your chance to admire them went far too quickly when he placed a single digit under your chin and tilted your head up. Your eyes widened and your breath caught in your throat when you saw his face. You figured there was a small chance he might be attractive, but you didn’t actually think he’d be down right gorgeous. You bit your lip as your gaze trailed all over his face, taking in every inch. 
“Did you do everything I instructed?” He released your chin and took a sip of his drink, still staring down at you. 
“Yes, sir.” It felt like you were still in shock, just from seeing his face. 
“Good. The dress looks nice.” You couldn’t help but blush at the compliment. 
“Thank you.” 
“Stand up.” You did as he said, then waited for the next instruction. “Give me a spin. I want to see if it was money well spent.” You blushed, but turned around for him. “Slower.” He suddenly said, making you freeze, then continue at a slower pace. He hummed in appreciation and you could practically feel his eyes running over every inch of you. When you were facing him again, you waited, watching as he downed the rest of his drink then walked over to the table to set it down. You didn’t move, not sure if you were allowed to or not, and he sat down in the arm chair, then cleared his throat. 
“Show me the underwear.” You slowly lifted the dress until it was resting around your waist, exposing the lacy panties. “Come here.” You walked over and stood in front of him, trying to keep your breathing steady when he gently placed his hands on your thighs and snaked them up to your hips. He used his grip to turn you around, then moved one hand to grope your ass. You let out a surprised moan at the sudden spank and he hummed in approval again. 
“Very good.” You had to swallow down a whine when his hands abruptly left your body. “Face me and get on your knees.” His eyes moved up and down your body, taking you in again as you did what he said. “Remove my shoes.” You reached toward his feet, but he stopped you. “Carefully. Just one of those is worth double what I’m paying you.” You nodded and gently untied the laces of his dress shoes before slipping them off his feet and placing them neatly on the ground beside the chair. 
“Should I fuck your mouth? Or should I just get right to fucking your cunt.” You were mostly sure he was talking to himself and not actually asking you. He has you for two hours, so he has time for both. He seemed to finally come to a decision and he leaned back in the chair, staring down at you. “Be a good girl and show me how that lipstick looks on my cock.” He suddenly said, making arousal pool in your stomach. 
“Yes, sir.” You squeezed your thighs together to relieve a little bit of the ache as you worked on opening his pants. Once his belt was unbuckled and his pants were unzipped, you pulled them and his underwear down just enough to free his length since he didn’t lift up to let you take them fully off. You stroked him slowly, marveling at how big he felt in your hand, even just half hard. 
“Did I tell you to give me a hand job?” He asked impatiently. 
“N-no, sorry…” You swallowed thickly and leaned closer to start mouthing at the tip. Your hand remained unmoving on the base just to keep it steady. He let out a pleased sigh as you suckled on the head of his cock, being sure to lick up any precum. 
“Go on, whore. Let’s see if you’re worth what I’m paying.” You blushed as the crude name and squeezed your thighs together even tighter. Not wanting to make him get even more impatient, you started bobbing up and down his cock, keeping your tongue flat against the underside as you hallowed your cheeks. You moved your hand down to cup his balls as you took him a little deeper. When he let out a heavy breath and gently grabbed your hair, you looked up at him. You continued the same pace, sometimes flicking your tongue over the tip when you went up. After a while though, he huffed and tightened his grip on your hair.  
“Are you one of those whores who can’t deepthroat? Because I don’t think I should be paying full price for a shitty blowjob.” You immediately took the hint and went down until he reached the back of your mouth. After taking a deep breath, you pushed the rest of the way, breaching your throat barrier. You focused mostly on stimulating his balls as you stayed buried on his cock for as long as you could take it. Only a few seconds later, you were pulling off, gasping in breaths and trying to calm down to do it all again. You took him in your mouth again, not stopping until he was buried in your throat. 
“You can do better than that, whore.” He started moving you up and down his cock, forcing it down your throat with each bob of your head. It wasn’t long before you were choking and sputtering as tears filled your eyes. When he pulled you off, you coughed, but didn’t have a chance to collect yourself before he was pushing your face against his balls. You whimpered at the degrading act, trying to ignore the feeling of his spit soaked cock resting on your face. 
When he tightened his grip on your hair and pushed you into him harder, you started mouthing at his balls. You licked and sucked, pushing down the embarrassment to focus on making him feel good. This isn’t the first time you’ve had to do this, but it is the first time you weren’t completely disgusted by it. Robert kept himself well groomed and you found yourself getting even needier despite how dirty and used you felt. 
Once he’d had enough, he pulled you back and forced you down on his cock again, all but impaling your throat with how fast and hard he did it. You gagged instantly, but he ignored it and started using your mouth the same way he would a fleshlight. On a particularly harsh thrust, you let out a strangled whimper and the tears in your eyes began to fall. 
“Stop fucking whining.” He spat. It almost seemed like he started going faster simply because of how much you were struggling to take it. Your hands grabbed his thighs, digging your fingers into the covered skin, and he used his free hand to slap your cheek. “Hands behind your back.” He scolded and you hesitated, but eventually obeyed. The next time he forced you all the way down, he held you there, keeping a firm grip on your hair to prevent you from moving. 
“Stick your tongue out.” You did your best to do what he said. “Good girl. Lick my balls.” You let out a strangled sob at the utterly vulgar and degrading order. Regardless, you stuck your tongue out farther and did your best to lick them. “Look at me.” Your teary eyes fluttered up to meet his gaze and he let out a breathy groan at the sight. “No waterproof mascara, just like I said.” He said almost proudly as he used his free hand to cup your cheek and brush his thumb over what you assumed were mascara tracks. 
When you started gagging and sputtering and trying to pull off, he let go of your hair, letting you move back. You coughed lightly and cleared your throat, doing your best to collect yourself somewhat quickly. 
“On the bed. Face down, ass up.”
“Yes, sir.” Your voice was already hoarse. You stood up on shaky legs, feeling unstable in your too high heels, and walked over to the bed to kneel on it. He remained sitting on the chair, watching you closely. When you leaned down to rest your head and chest on the bed, a light blush tinted your cheeks. 
“Arch your back.” You could faintly hear wet noises and the knowledge that he was jerking off just to the sight of you almost had you moaning and squirming. You arched your back, but he still wasn’t satisfied. “More. Spread your legs apart.” You shuffled your knees out and bent your back even more, starting to feel the strain and discomfort. When he didn’t respond, you assumed he was happy with the position. 
“Do you always get this wet when you're working?” His tone was far too innocent for the vulgar question he asked. Your blush darkened even more once you realized that your arousal was already soaking the fabric of your underwear. 
“No, sir..”
“Speak up.” He snapped. 
“No, sir.” You said again, a little louder this time. 
“Is it the money that turns you on?” His voice was closer now, like he was standing at the foot of the bed. 
“No.” Even though the money definitely helped, it was primarily because of him. 
“Really? Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Why don’t you tell me what it is that’s getting you all worked up then.” With the way that he spoke, you could tell he already knew and just wanted to tease you about it. 
“You, sir.” 
“Me? What about me?” You hated the way that he was playing dumb like this, but you mostly hated the fact that it turned you on. 
“Y-your cock… And the things you do and say to me.” This was almost more humiliating than sucking on his balls with his cock laying heavy on your face. You felt the bed dip as he presumably kneeled behind you. 
“You want my cock?” 
“Please, sir.” You tried not to whine when you spoke. 
“I’m not entirely convinced you really want it.” You couldn't swallow down the whine this time. 
“Please, sir. I want your cock.” You begged, unconsciously pushing your hips back. “Please fuck me,” You jumped when you felt his hands on your ass, then moaned loudly when he ripped a hole in the crotch of your underwear. “Please— I need you to fuck me, sir.” You whined. 
“That’s better.” You gasped when the head of his cock dragged through your folds, spreading your arousal. He finally pushed in and you fisted the sheets as your lips parted in a silent moan. He’s just so fucking big. It’s not that you can’t take it, it’s just that he’s filling every part of you perfectly, satisfying every craving you have. 
“Fuck— Oh fuck,” You moaned, burying your face in the bed to muffle your sounds. Once his hips were flush with your ass, he didn’t bother giving you a chance to adjust before starting a slow pace. 
“You’re pretty tight for a whore.” He commented casually, making you sob out a moan. You’ve never particularly liked being called a whore, but for some reason when he says it, you just just get infinitely more turned on. “I half expected I’d need to fuck your ass instead.” He said amusedly. 
“Sir,” You gasped out, arching your back more and pushing your hips toward him. “Please.” 
“Please?” 
“Please go faster, or harder— anything.” You begged pathetically. You’ve never genuinely begged a client for something like this.  
“I didn’t know I was paying you to make demands.” You whined, a little too bratty for his liking based on the way he slapped your ass hard enough to leave it stinging for a few seconds. “You’re not some girl I picked up and took home. You’re my whore for the night. Fucking act like it.” You couldn’t help but mewl at his words. 
“I-I’m sorry. You just feel so good, sir.” All of a sudden, his hand was grabbing your hair and pulling your head back until you were looking at the ceiling. You held yourself up with your hands on the bed, but the position was still uncomfortable. 
“Every time you talk back, you lose a hundred.” He warned, making you whine. “That includes whining.” He spanked you again with his free hand and you cried out at the sting. “Do you understand?” 
“Yes! Yes, sir, I understand.” As soon as you got the words out, he shoved your head forward and released your hair. Your face landed against the bed with a startled grunt that cut off into a moan when he sped up. He was still going far too slow, but you bit your lip to keep yourself from whining or begging. 
“Even as a whore you’re fucking useless.” He scoffed. You let out a choked sob and grabbed the sheets harder. He sped up even more, forcing out little grunts and whimpers from you with each thrust. You ached to reach a hand down to your clit, but you knew you couldn’t. Not after his warning about “making demands.”
“Fuck— I’m already close.” You couldn’t help but notice how pretty his voice sounded as he continued becoming more and more breathless from the pleasure. 
“Remember to pull out.” You said, breaking character for a moment. On the phone, when he asked if you had any rules or limits, the only thing you said was that he can’t come inside. You don’t care if he fucks you raw, just so long as he pulls out. With a frustrated growl, he flipped you onto your back, immediately pushing back in to keep fucking you. 
“How much?” He leaned over you, his face level with yours. The feeling of his breath fanning your lips was making it hard to think. 
“What?” You asked dumbly. 
“To come inside. How much?” His pace was becoming even more frantic and he was beginning to pant heavily from the exertion. 
“Robert…” 
“Name your price. What do you want? Ten grand?” Your eyes widened at his offer. “Fifteen?” There’s no way he’s being serious right now. When he noticed your disbelief, he paused, then reached in his pants pocket to pull out his wallet and toss it on the bed next to you. When your disbelief turned into confusion, he explained. “A down payment.” His thrusts picked back up again, forcing a moan out of you as he resumed the unrelenting pace. “Well?” You glanced at the wallet, seeing how much cash was inside, then let out a heavy breath. 
“Fuck— fine. Fine.” You could immediately see the shift in his expression, showing how pleased he was with your answer. 
“Good girl. I might just have to hire you again.” He grinned at the thought and you felt your stomach fill with butterflies. “Now why don’t you be a good little whore and beg me to fill you up.” His grin turned into a smirk and he started fucking you even more desperately somehow. 
“Please fill me up. I want your come, sir.” You whined, back arching up into him. Despite your rule, part of you was being truthful. The thought of him fucking his come into your needy, abused hole was enough to make you clamp down on his cock, forcing a choked moan out of him. “Please!”
Without another word, he buried his face in the crook of your neck and rutted into you until he finally fell over the edge. He grunted with each snap of his hips, his panting breaths feeling hot against your neck. You squeezed around his cock again, wanting to make it as pleasurable for him as possible. Based on his low moan, it was working. 
He finally stilled and his sounds quieted into heavy breathing as he put some of his weight on you, letting himself rest without actually crushing you. Even though you were submissive enough right now to mostly only care about his pleasure, part of you was still disappointed that you wouldn’t get a chance to come on his cock. 
When his breathing calmed down, he lifted himself up to sit on his knees and slowly dragged out. He pushed your legs up, so you took the initiative and held them close to your chest for him. At the first sight of his come trickling out of you, he released a contented groan. 
“Fuck… Fifteen it is.” He said through a breath. Your holes fluttered as you pushed out more of his come, making him curse under his breath. “Take off the fucking dress before I rip it off and make you go home nude.” He threatened, making you instantly release your legs and scramble to take it off. He ripped your underwear clean off your body, then flipped you onto your stomach. 
“What are you doing?” You gasped, when he straddled your thighs and lined his cock up with your hole again. 
“I paid for two hours. I’m not stopping until I either run out of time, or run out of come.” You choked on your spit at his words, feeling too flustered to figure out how to respond. Before you could even attempt to just think of something to say, he was pushing back in, ridding your head of all thoughts except for him and his cock. 
When you woke up the next day, you saw that he had transferred the original price, plus fifteen thousand. You blinked rapidly and rubbed your eyes, thinking that you read it wrong in your sleepy state, but the number was clear as day. As was the memo reading: You’ll hear from me again soon. 
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cressidagrey · 2 months
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Unafraid - The Unexpected Series
Summary:
“If you need to fuck someone, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it, but stay away from her.”
What if… Azriel actually takes Rhys at his word? And does exactly what his High Lord ordered? With unexpected consequences.
This is Azriel following his High Lord's order to the fucking letter (well, kinda.)
Warnings:
Mention of Sex Work, Mention of Faerie Genocide, Sex Work, Bathing
Note:
This was a thought experiment that kinda started to grow a life on its own.
(super pretty divider by @saradika-graphics)
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Azriel was having a bad day. 
In a string of bad days. A string of horrible days. 
He knew that he wasn’t in the right headspace for this. He knew that he had no business to be here. 
And still, he was. 
It was the only place where even a monster like him could get something that resembled love, after all. 
It wasn’t like anybody else wanted him. Wasn’t like anybody else was interested in him in any other way than…It wasn’t like he deserved better than this. 
This was all he deserved and he should just accept it. Accept it and move on and figure out that whenever he had any sort of physical wants…this was where he should go. 
“If you need to fuck someone, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it, but stay away from her.”
So there he was. Walking down the street to this pleasure hall and…every step was trudging. He wasn’t even sure why he was doing it. Why… Why he didn’t just go home…go to the House of Wind and try to sleep once more…why he didn’t just…
Because he didn’t want to lay down in his empty bed, alone, and close his eyes, and be alone and…
He wished for somebody to touch him like…like he mattered. Like his feelings mattered. Like his feelings were something other than simply an inconvenience for the Court. 
He was just supposed to flip the switch and turn them off, right? Elain had chosen Lucien so Azriel should just get over her. He should just move on. And be done. 
And he couldn’t. He couldn’t. 
He wished he could, but he couldn’t. 
And so there he was. 
He poured a handful of gold coins on the desk in the front…enough for a whole night. Even if he just stayed an hour, he thought that one of the long-suffering females deserved it for putting up with him. 
For letting him put his ruined hands anywhere near her and pretend that she wanted this. 
Why was he even doing this again? 
Azriel didn’t even know himself anymore. 
Still, he followed behind the voluptuous proprietress, a red-headed High Fae named Marge, into the courtyard, filled with all the females that worked there. “Are you searching for anything in particular or…?” she trailed off, asking Azriel as she mustered him. 
Searching for his will to live. Though that was probably not the answer she was looking for. 
And no, there was no particular sexual act that he wanted, that he was in the mood for. Absolutely nothing that…immediately struck his fancy. 
Nothing that…He didn’t even really want sex. 
He wanted…
“Any female that’s not afraid of me,” he forced out, his voice like gravel. Companionship. Understanding. Something as close to willing as he could get. 
Marge’s dark eyes widened as she took in that particular request. He half expected her to laugh him out of her establishment. If she did, he couldn’t even fault her for that. The coin was worth a try. 
And then, to the wordless shock of him…“I’ll take him,” came a quiet voice. His head swivelled around, just as a soft, small hand claimed his. 
Blonde, blue-eyed. Beautiful. Gorgeous in fact. Full lips pulled into a bright smile. 
“Would you like to come with me, Sweetheart?” she cooed and he managed a shaky nod. 
She didn’t even seem to notice the scars that covered his hands. She didn’t seem to care. Everybody noticed. Everybody cared. 
But she just…didn’t. 
And her smell…it was clear of fear. Utterly unafraid. 
Roses. Nothing else. 
“You aren’t afraid,” he choked out as he followed behind her, up the stairs, to a room, that was clearly hers. Soft and cream coloured with heavy drapes and she closed the door behind them with a soft snick. 
“Should I be?” she asked him lightly. “You have given me no reason to be afraid of you.”
No. He just existed. Existed with scarred hands and ferocious wings and the shadows that he had sent away for the night and still lurked around…he scared everybody.
“You have done nothing to me that would make me fear you,” she told him calmly, walking over to a commode, filling a glass with the amber liquid from a bottle on top of it and then bringing it to him. 
“You may call me Blossom,” she told him. Smart. Not that it was her name…but that he may call her that. “What is your name?”
“Azriel,” he answered. For some cauldron-forsaken reason, he gave her his real name, just as she pushed the glass in his hand and him down onto the edge of her bed so that she could straddle him. 
He let her do with him as she wished. 
Something about Blossom…something about her made her putty in her hands. Whatever she wanted from him he would probably do it…let himself sink into the pleasure of just this…just the smell of roses and her eyes gently watching him…just this. 
“Now, there is a secret you should know about me,” Blossom told him, her voice sweet and soft. He just stared at her, as she shrugged out of the silky dressing gown she wore, leaving her utterly bare to his gaze. 
There was no piece of her that wasn’t beautiful. From the upturned tip of her nose to the full swell of her breasts, the dip of her waist, the lush fullness of her hips…
And then suddenly between one blink and the next…she changed.
Not her body. That stayed the same. 
An iridescent pair of pink wings sprouted from her back and stretched wide…her hair stopped being ordinarily blonde and turned blush pink…and her ocean blue eyes turned into a colour that he could spend hours describing and still fail horribly. 
She had been beautiful before. With that glamour. 
But without it…without it…she was breathtaking. So beautiful that she put him on his knees. He could just stare at her, drink her in, his mouth slightly open. 
“I have wings just like you,” she told him, a smile on her face and he swallowed. 
There was only one type of faerie that had wings like that…A very rare type. 
“You’re…a Floresco Faerie?” he asked her, his voice hoarse. 
Hunted to near extinction by the Spring Court centuries ago. 
And one had seemingly escaped to Velaris. 
Her full lips pulled into a smile. 
“Guilty as charged,” Blossom answered, lifting his hand that still kept a loose hold of that amber liquid to her lips and took a drink before she lifted it to his own lips. 
He took a sip, his eyes still fixed on these beautiful, fluttering wings. So rare. So beautiful. 
“Now, Azriel. Why don’t you tell me what you would like tonight and I’ll…” she trailed off as she saw his expression, mustering him for a moment. He would spend the rest of his life wondering what exactly she saw in his eyes that made her take the glass from him, put it on her bedside table and then suggest: “How about a bath?”
Somehow that was the best suggestion he had heard in decades. 
Her bathtub was right there, connected to her bedroom, a massive thing that was pure indulgence. Of course, it was. They were in a pleasure hall after all…
She stripped him out of his clothing slowly and then led him into that massive bathtub…the water blood hot and smelled like roses, with plenty of bubbles to go around.
He had never bothered with bubble baths before.
Clearly an oversight. 
Just as it was an oversight to have her small, soft hands all over him as she spread soap over his skin. 
She didn’t ask, didn’t give him an opportunity to turn her down. Blossom touched him gently with no hesitation. Not even thinking twice about it.
He could have wept with gratitude. Her scent never turned into fear. It stayed the soft scent of roses clinging to every inch of her. Not once did she hesitate to touch his skin, or his scars, or the dark illyrian markings over his arms and chest. 
Every muscle of his body grew lax in response, until he was a puddle underneath her touch, just watching her. 
Watching this beautiful female and her soft smile. 
Blossom washed his hair, fingernails gently scrubbing her scalp and he could have started purring.
Something inside him relaxed. He wasn’t even sure what. But just the feeling of another warm body next to him…of her touch to his body, without hesitation, without fear, without anything…simple touch…
He couldn’t even remember the last time he had that. 
Maybe Azriel should have expected it, but still, the moment her hand snaked down his stomach, lower, it took him by surprise. 
He caught her hand in his, hand shooting out to wrap around one fragile wrist like a snake. 
At least now, her scent should sour into fear. She just held still. 
“You don’t want me to touch you?” she asked him, one eyebrow raised. 
He really didn’t. Not like this. Not…
“Not like this,” he admitted weakly and her eyes widened. 
“Would you like to touch me?” she asked him, cocking her head to the side and he let go of her wrist. When she arched her back just like that, she made the best of every single one of her assets. 
And she was beautiful. But Azriel didn’t want that. Not truly. 
“No,” he said quietly. “Not like this.”  
He just wanted…
Something inside Blossom’s expression seemed to shift to understanding. She didn’t ask, she didn’t push…didn’t try to touch him like that anymore. Instead, her hands shifted to slow languid strokes…gently and…nearly reverently along his chest and arms. 
“Would you like a kiss instead?” She asked him softly, soft lips dusting over the shell of his ear. 
He hesitated. 
That was seemingly all the agreement she needed. Little butterfly kisses were pressed all over his face, against his temple and forehead and the tip of his nose and Azriel trembled underneath her at this. 
Kiss after Kiss, her sweet breath and the plush softness of her lips…they pressed to his skin without hesitation, without fear. Like he wasn’t a monster to fear. Like he was just a male in need of comfort. 
 It was more than he had ever thought he would be able to get that night. Or ever. 
Comfort that he didn’t think he deserved and still clung to like a drowning male, because this was all he could have…This was all he was allowed to have. 
He lost track of how long she did that…until the water turned cold and both their skin had shrivelled up…until she got him out of that water. 
The spell she had seemingly cast over him broke. 
This was all he was willing to take from her. All Azriel deserved. 
So he got redressed and Blossom watched him, infinite softness in her gaze. 
“You know…not a lot of males would pay the amount you do, just for this,” she told him carefully, as he had the doorknob in his hands. 
“Not a lot of females are willing to take me on,” he countered quietly, before he opened the door and disappeared through it. Forever. It would be nothing but a stolen interlude. 
Or would it? 
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Our Home (Azriel x Reader)
Hiiii. This one has long been in the works. It's the follow-up part to this little one I did called "Why Are You Still Here?"
Hope you enjoy!
Warnings: Some alcohol use. Angst. Discussions surrounding mental health. Suggestion of infidelity.
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
You were not where you wanted to be. And you did not know where you fit anymore.
Solace had once been the home you’d made your own. It had once been the warmth and security of your mate’s arms. A life. A belonging.
It was never supposed to be dark, dingy taverns and drinking yourself to oblivion. You were aware of your hypocrisy — that you were now no better than Azriel, himself, had been.
But you didn’t know what else to do. How else to keep patching over the wound that was opening you up from the inside.
Three days and nights away from Azriel felt like three centuries. Three days and nights spent on Amren’s couch, your ears barely catching the way she groused at you about making things up with your mate — and getting out of her hair. You knew that she only had your best interests at heart; a swarm of concern wrapped up in sharp, barbed words and orders. 
Stop sulking, girl, and speak to your mate. Wallowing on the couch and taking up my space doesn’t do either of you any good. If he knocks on my door and asks to speak to you again, I’m letting him in this time. Stupid, foolish children in love.
You knew that she was right. You’d asked Az to give you a few days…and for what? So you could get yourself into a clear enough headspace to talk to him.
So, no, the wisest choice had not been to end up in a bar on the other side of town — but here you were. If Azriel could spend months upon months pushing you away, indulging in self-serving vices…so could you.
You whiled away the hours on refills of whiskey and off-kilter music and the presence of numerous males coming up to you and offering to buy you another drink — all of which you politely turned away. You weren’t there for attention, or to feel wanted…the mere thought of looking at somebody other than your mate—
It took you right back to the possibility that Azriel may have done just that. That he’d come stumbling home after hours of unexplained absence, stinking to the high heavens of booze and cloying perfume. You wanted — needed — to believe that there was some other, reasonable explanation. That there was no way the male tied to your soul would fall into the arms of somebody else.
But the truth was that you just did not know anymore. He’d successfully pushed you away enough to fill you with doubt.
The feeling was far worse than any battle wound. Far more excruciating than the critical injury you’d received during the war with Hybern. This pain was like a sickness, spreading through you, slicing at you, becoming you. This pain could tear you apart, limb from limb.
“The same again, please.” You rasped, sliding your empty glass towards the pretty barmaid. She eyed you cautiously before fulfilling your request. The amber liquid didn’t burn quite as much this time. 
But it seemed that no amount of alcohol was giving you the desired effect. Drink after drink after drink, and you still didn’t feel it seeping into your bones and blood and carrying you off to a place that wasn’t as painful. You may as well have been pouring the drinks straight onto the floor, rather than down your throat.
Still, you remained sitting at that same spot at the bar, nursing your drink and studying the nicks and callouses of your weapon-worn hands as your heavy thoughts bombarded you. Where would you sleep tonight? You were sure Amren would growl at you if you turned up at her door again. You could go to the River House, but you didn’t want to cause any disruption or upset for Nyx. And it seemed that both the House of Wind and the Town House were a no-go — that Az could be staying at either. Something told you that he was unlikely to be at the house you shared together, but…you didn’t want to go there, either.
Perhaps you would just drink yourself so stupid that you’d eventually curl up on a bench and fall asleep without feeling the cold.
The cold. It swept in, encasing you from behind as somebody entered the tavern, their heavy footsteps carrying across the wooden floor. You paid them no mind, not interested in the various other punters around you. You hunched over your drink, tracing your finger over the rim of the glass, and you didn’t bother to look up even when the stool was pulled out beside you.
“Before you say anything,” you murmured, too used, now, to the sleazy routine of the males around you, “no, you cannot buy me a drink.” 
“Good.” Azriel’s voice came quietly from beside you. “I don’t think it’d be wise for you to have another.”
That voice — deep and smooth and rich. A voice that had spoken countless I love yous, that had breathed quiet laughs at your shared, inside jokes, that had moaned your name in peace and pleasure. A voice that had always been a comfort to you.
It now twisted your stomach. Filled you with a sickening anxiety. You no longer knew what words would be spoken in that voice. You weren’t sure you were ready for them.
Your body tense, you slowly turned your head to meet your mate’s eyes. The look that sat on his face, in his hazel stare…it was one of beautiful agony. Of stunning, twisted devastation.
A flawless face marred by pain.
Azriel studied you, and you couldn’t help wondering what he saw on your face. Besides your cheeks being flushed from the alcohol, and your eyes red-raw from days of weeping. Whatever he found there…it made him flinch.
“What are you doing here?” You willed your voice to sound strong, but it was weak. Pathetic. 
“I followed your scent from Amren’s apartment to here.” He swallowed. “And given that this was where we had our first drink together…”
You looked around. Pretended that such a thought hadn’t dawned on you, even though that exact spot in the corner was where you and Azriel had sat for hours that first night, drinking and talking and laughing. 
You’d known, by the time that he’d walked you home, that you were going to spend the rest of your existence with him.
Or so you’d thought. You weren’t so sure, now.
“Finish your drink.” Azriel nodded to your glass. “We’re going home.”
You snorted, turning back to your glass. The liquid sloshed as you lifted it to your lips. “That’s not been home for a long while. It’s just…bricks and mortar and pain.”
He paused. “That’s not true.”
“Is it not, Azriel? You can’t seem to stand spending any time there, either—”
“I want to talk to you about all of this, Y/N.” He stared at you seriously. Pleadingly. “Just…not here. Please.”
Because Azriel was a staunchly private person.
And maybe he didn’t love you anymore. The thought — though complete agony — was entirely possible.
But he wouldn’t end your relationship in the same place it had begun. 
So you drained your glass, savouring the feeling of the liquid sliding down your throat. And then you set it down on the bar, and turned to face him.
“Where is your coat?” He studied the thin tunic and breeches that did nothing to keep out the cold.
You shrugged a shoulder. “Left it at Amren’s, I guess.” 
“It’s freezing outside.”
“Oh, now you care—”
The clearing of a throat stopped you both in your tracks. You glanced at the young barmaid who stared between the two of you uncomfortably. She had the same look that most people adopted in Azriel’s presence — awe and fear at their High Lord’s spymaster.
“I’m sorry, but,” she cleared her throat again, straightening out her shoulders, “if you two are going to have a domestic, I’m going to have to ask you to take it outside…”
Beside you, Azriel’s cheeks pinkened. “We’re not.” He said brusquely. “We’re leaving.”
Before you could offer your own response, he was tugging you from the barstool and draping his heavy jacket around your shoulders. It swamped you a ridiculous amount, and when he actually stopped in front of you to fasten the buttons, you scowled and stepped out of reach.
“I’m not a child.” You said. “Let’s just…go.”
It was hard to not feel like a child as you meandered your way to the door in that preposterously large coat, the arms swinging and the material swallowing you up. Azriel remained a step behind, following you out into the icy night air. You walked a few paces in a still silence, only stopping to face him when you were well out of earshot of the bar. 
“So.” It was instinctive — the way you wrapped his jacket around yourself. Not something you were wholly aware of doing. Though you were certainly aware of the way you very pointedly sniffed it, looking for some trace of that sweet scent you’d smelled before. But…nothing. “Which house do you want to finish with me in? Ours? The Town House? The House of Wind? We could go to the River House, but I don’t think Rhys or Feyre would appreciate the performance—-”
“Is that what you think?” Azriel cut you off, the pain on his face moulding into something stiller. Icier. “That I’m finishing our relationship?”
You shrugged. And you hated — utterly hated — being so confrontational. This wasn’t you. And some small part of it could be blamed on the alcohol, yes, but…mostly…mostly, you were just at your wit’s end.
After months of trying to reach him calmly, compassionately. Months and months of trying to talk to him gently, to get him to open up to you. It had gotten you nowhere.
You felt your only option, now, was to shuck off that soft, soothing exterior, and go hard. Go real. 
“I don’t know what to think,” you retorted. “You don’t speak to me anymore — besides the occasional grunt. And given that I’m not a gods-damned mind-reader—”
“I am not finishing things with you.” Azriel snapped — so loud, so harsh, so unlike him, that you stopped in your tracks. “Not now, and not ever.”
You stared at him, already feeling your hard demeanour slipping. The words — though a small relief — were hard to believe. Hard to believe, when he’d given you no indication for a long, long time that he even wanted you anymore.
You shrugged weakly, begging your eyes not to tear up. “But what kind of relationship is this, Az? Months and months of silence. Of coldness. What am I supposed to think?”
“...I’ve handled things so badly. But I’d like a chance to explain.”
Perhaps it was the muted pleading in his eyes, the hunching of his shoulders. How he looked the smallest he ever had. Or perhaps it was just because he was your mate…whatever the reason, you found yourself relenting. You swallowed, crossing your arms over your chest and silently nodding towards a bench that overlooked the river. Az dipped his chin in acknowledgement of the request and promptly followed suit. 
You sat, leaving distance between the two of you. Az tucked his wings in as tight as he possibly could; uncomfortable for him, you knew, but he was respectful of the fact that you wanted space. A small glimmer of the Azriel you’d always known and loved.
He seemed to suck in a slow breath, twisting his scarred hands around each other. You could feel the nerves that rolled off of him in waves. This – speaking and baring his soul — was perhaps harder for him than outright combat. 
You cleared your throat. “Before you start…I need to ask you something.”
Hazel eyes turned to study you. Azriel gave a small nod. 
“I have to know if you…” The words tasted sour and wrong in your mouth. In your whole body, in fact. You were sure a shiver shot through you as you blurted in one breath, “I just need to know if you fucked somebody else.”
Azriel paused — and then blinked at you.
Gaped at you, like the suggestion in and of itself was utterly absurd.
As if he hadn’t come home stinking of perfume. As if he hadn’t lied about his whereabouts when you’d asked. As if you were wrong to so much as think it, let alone voice it.
He shook his head, still blinking. “What?”
“Perhaps you were too drunk that night to remember.” Your lips pressed into a thin line. “You disappeared on me for hours, Az, like you always seem to these days. Then you come home smelling of perfume and lie to me that you’d been with Mor when I knew you couldn’t have been. So tell me. Honestly. Did you fuck someone who isn’t me?”
“Of course I didn’t. I would never do that to you. Do you know how sick it makes me feel, just thinking of being with someone other than you?”
He couldn’t possibly have a clue how much you needed to hear that. But they were just words. He’d done nothing to back them up for so, so long.
Your eyes filled with tears as you stared at him. “But you can’t seem to stand being with me, either.”
His own eyes shuttered — as though he was trying to block out your words. He slumped back on the bench, wings awkward and limp around him. You could see his chest heaving, hear his heavy breathing. 
“I don’t—” His voice cracked. “I’m no good with words. I’m no good with…with talking.”
“But I can’t take the silence or the loneliness anymore. Azriel, please—”
“I was with someone that night.”
He blurted the words in such a rush, you almost didn’t catch them. His hands squeezed into fists at his sides, as though the mere feeling of speaking so earnestly was like peeling his skin off.
You fell so, so still. Stared at him. Your stomach plummeted, twisted, and your voice didn’t sound like yours as you croaked out, “who?” 
“That night, I…I was with Madja.”
It was all you could do to stare at him. And as Madja’s face floated through your mind — the old, withered, beloved healer of Velaris…you could do nothing but stare. 
“Is that supposed to be funny?” You demanded.
Az stared down at his hands. “Of course not. A little while ago, I started regularly visiting Madja.”
“...Why? Are you injured?” Your eyes immediately searched him for anything you might have missed. And yet — nothing. 
He shook his head. “Physically, I’m fine, but…in here?” He tapped a finger to his forehead. Moved that finger down to sit over his heart. “And here? I’m…I’m not. I’m not fine.”
Those cold, hard walls you’d thrown up to get you through this conversation…you felt them falter a little. You swallowed, studying your mate. “I don’t understand, Az…”
Finally — finally — he angled his body towards yours. Faced you. And the raw emotion that lay in his eyes…you almost couldn’t bear it. It could cut you. Cut you into pieces and scatter you to the wind. 
Tears were clouding his vision, muddying that hazel into a watery run of colour. He blinked, his lips quivering as those tears spilled over and ran down his cheeks. It was second nature for you to reach out and wipe them away, but he stopped you in your tracks. Allowed his tears to run free as he held onto your hand like he may never get another chance. 
“When I try to sleep at night,” his voice cracked. “When I close my eyes — do you know what I see?”
You swallowed down your own emotion, shaking your head. You’d known of him sleeping fitfully, of course — if he bothered to sleep in the same bed as you at all. But you’d never been overly aware of it.
He blinked another wave of tears away. “I see you in that healer’s tent after the war, covered in blood. I hear—” He cut himself off, voice once again hitching with his emotion. “I hear your screams of pain. Your cries. I hear you begging someone — anyone — to make it go away. I see your face turning far too pale. And I hear, over and over and over again, the moment that Madja told me there was a chance you wouldn’t make it.”
You were unable to stop your own tears forming again. You squeezed his hand, face creasing with pain. “Azriel—”
“It haunts me.” He whispered. “Because what you and I have…I never thought I’d have this. I never thought I’d find my mate. I never thought I’d be able to have such happiness. So when Madja told me there was a chance she wouldn’t be able to save you…I didn’t know what I was going to do. I didn’t know how I was going to go on.”
“But she did save me, Az.” You scooted closer. “She did.”
“I just…I came so close to losing you. To losing the love of my life. It sent me spiralling into this mindset of being scared all the damn time. Every time you left the house, or I had to go on a mission…I was losing my mind with it, Y/N. And I was so terrified of ever feeling that way again that it seemed so much easier to push you away. I was too selfish to let you go completely. I thought if I could just…have you at arm’s length…at least until I sorted myself out…” 
You stared forward. Everything seemed to click into place as you rasped, “which was why you distanced yourself from me.”
Az nodded. And he was unable to stop the sob that broke from him. “But I just ended up hurting you. And I’m so sorry.”
You couldn’t bear a second longer of it — of seeing him so crushed, so defeated. And even though you, too, were a crying mess, you found the strength to slide into his lap. To wrap your arms around him and allow him to rest his head on your shoulder.
“You should have just told me how you were feeling.” You whispered, stroking his hair. His body heaved beneath you as he cried, raw and unguarded. “I would have listened. I would have helped. I love you.”
“And I love you.” He shook. “More than I could possibly put into words. But I was so scared of losing you. And ironically, in my efforts to avoid that…I’ve come so, so close to it happening.”
You shook your head. Lifted his until he was looking at you. And it was like that, his face inches from yours, that you promised him the same thing you’d promised long ago. “You will never lose me. Ever. You are my mate, and I am yours. We love each other, when we’re happy and fine, and when we’re not. This is our life, Azriel. We can’t avoid living it in some pointless bid to outrun death.”
For a moment, he just…studied you. As if your words cleared months and months of accumulated fog and cobwebs, and helped him to see what was right in front of him. That you were right in front of him.
You had survived the war. So had he. 
The two of you deserved to live — together. 
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am. A little while ago, I started to visit Madja for help with these feelings. I knew I couldn’t go on like this.” He explained. “But I don’t — I swear to you, I never went near anybody else. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.”
And you knew that. Gods, you knew it. You almost felt foolish for even thinking it, but…you supposed, like him, you’d gotten so far inside your head, you didn’t know the way out.
One thing did linger in the back of your mind, though. Torturing you a little. You swallowed, wiping Az’s cheeks free of tears as you asked, “what of the perfume you smelled of?” 
Again, his eyes shuttered. He bowed his head slightly to touch yours. “Check my jacket pocket.”
Frowning, you paused. And then slid your hands into both pockets of the jacket you still wore. It was in the front left one that your hand enclosed around what felt like a small, glass vial. You plucked it out, tilting your head. 
“Smell it.” Az instructed softly.
Your eyes met his. And slowly, you pulled the stopper out of the vial and lifted it to your nose. 
The smell hit you immediately. That same smell — undoubtedly — that had clung to his clothes that night. A little too sweet for your liking, slightly floral…you grimaced, stoppering the little bottle once more. “What is it?” You asked. 
“Madja has been helping me to open up…to get better at voicing my thoughts and feelings.” Azriel explained quietly. “And along with that, she made me this tonic. It has soothing properties that help me slip into a state of mind ready for a more peaceful sleep. That night you smelt it on me…it was the first time she’d given it to me. I’d applied it right before I’d entered the house, because I wanted to see how well I would sleep. If I could truly get past my nightmares.”
It was your turn for your eyes to shutter then. Guilt swarmed you, brash and unwelcome. “And I ruined your sleep by starting a fight and storming out.”
Azriel’s face turned serious. “You had every right to confront me the way you did that night. I should have told you sooner what was going on. That I was seeking help. I should have avoided hurting both of us like this.”
You sighed softly, tugging him closer once more. Your strange, complicated mate…the male you loved happily and proudly.
He’d been hurting. Struggling. You should have known.
But then…you’d been hurting and struggling, too. The aftermath of war wasn’t easy for anyone. It wasn’t a case of slipping back into your old life before you’d almost perished on that battlefield. 
You’d both become chewed up and spat out by your own respective grief from that time. And instead of communicating…you’d both taken your eye off the ball. Allowed deep feelings to fester. 
Never again. Never again would you allow this to happen.
“I think we’re all a little broken from the war, Az.” You brushed his hair from his face, staring at him earnestly. “But now that we know what we’re dealing with…we can heal. Together.”
His eyes threatened to well up again. And before you could see the tears form, he was leaning forward and planting a firm kiss against your lips. “I’m so sorry.” He apologised a third time. 
“Shh. No more of that.” You whispered, rocking him. “From this moment on, we move forward.” 
His arms held you tightly against him, warmth seeping into you. You didn’t know how long you sat there for, in each other’s arms, but as a breeze whipped over you, you felt your home calling. Coaxing the two of you back.
“Let’s go home, my love.” You kissed Azriel’s forehead.
He stared at you through wet lashes. “...To our home?”
Not Amren’s apartment. Not the River House or the Town House or the House of Wind.
“Yes.” You laced your fingers through his. “To our home.”
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚ azriel tag list:
@hanasakr @positivewitch @ruler-of-hades @brekkershadowsinger @nightscourtt @imperfect0angel @luna-1-3-5 @hyacinthoideshispanica @lucyysthings @lahoete @littlemoonash @blacksstarrynight @azriels-mate123 @ghostly-poetic @frieddesigninspiringquotesslime @a-frog-with-a-laptop @illyriansimp @morrie-rose @passingthroughfireandshadow @illyrian-dreamer @azrielsbabyg @96jnie @mich0731 @mulansaucey @truthtellerfanclub @acourtofbooksandmagic @insightsonmylife @basicbittywitty @curbside-cyanide @acourtofchaosandmess @123345566 @starrynights-frostbites @eos-princess @thesillyyogourt @ona-raising-07-l @acediahamartia @dontfollowmepleaseitsannoying @polli05927 @asdfjklbooks @azriel-luvr @amysangel @humanpersonlasttimeichecked @wildflowernightmere @audie-writes @aaronwarnerswifereal @starxqt @lulufairbank @laurzwrites @livelaughlovenestaarcheron @girlwith-thecinder-blockgarden @emturtles @lostpirateinwonderland @kammsinn @localhopedealerr @pee-stachio @tobifeemo @torchbearerkyle @honeycriess @shadowsingersmate24 @azziessidehoe @camillo-420 @aztheshadowsinger
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Limerence | Seven
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C H A P T E R S E V E N
limerence / lim-ê-rêns / (noun)
“Obsessive romantic attraction towards another person”
Summary: In which the owners of Jujutsu Incorporated, the Ôgami brothers, are suddenly interested in you.
Pairing: Alpha!Sukuna x reader, Alpha!Itadori x reader, Alpha!Gojo x reader, Alpha!Geto x reader, Alpha!Nanami x reader, Alpha!Kenjaku x reader
Status: Ongoing.
Genre: werewolf au, soulmate, polyamory relationship, angst, fluff, omegaverse, a/b/o dynamics.
Warnings: smut, violence, mentions of knotting, heats, ruts, insecurities, some descriptions of reader’s body, mention of possible ED, omegaspace, domdrop, swearing, blood, depression, suicidal thoughts, possessiveness, obsessive thoughts, Alpha tendencies.
Chapter Warnings: nudity, panic attack, talks about scar, negative thoughts, first heat, smuttyness, scent talk. Writing this late so let me know if there is more I need to tag.
Masterlist | Chapter Six | Chapter Eight
Taglist: @better-imagination-9 @tiredjuniper @jjkz @honeybeeboobaa @cherryblossomdelusion @dependsonthedream @alluresenses @qardasngan @imcamboaf @ondragonhonour @misscaller06 @itsberrydreemurstuff @queen-luna-007 @thepeachesclub @xxemmarldxx @elleflying07 @heartless-tate @victoria1676 @dremerys @openup-yourmind @catobsessedlady @topmeyelena @your-favourite-god @neptunieesworld @canary58143
Taglist is open.
————————————————————————
Previously on Limerence:
“She has anxiety?” Yuji asked more to himself.
“Don’t we all?” Suguru joked making his brother give him a ‘shut the fuck up’ look. He raised his hands up in a show of surrender, smirk still on his face.
“I just mean, I didn’t know she had it to the extent of having to take meds for it.” Yuji explained his thoughts glancing down at you.
“Neither did I. None of us do. I guess I realised that when I was at her place too. None of us know her yet, we don’t know anything about her, her life, her family. None of it. We’ve known her for a day, not even a full day either.” Suguru sighed, he couldn’t wait to learn more about you.
“We will soon. I’m excited for the days I know all there is to know. I will feel like I’m complete as her mate.” Yuji laughed with joy on his face only for Suguru to wipe it away.
“Something tells me there will always be something new to learn with our gorgeous mate.”
-
Kento had talked it out with Sukuna and Satoru, both brothers had made sure that Kento was in the correct headspace before coming to find you. He found you wiping the sleep from your eyes fighting to stay awake while Yuji ran his fingers through your hair gently.
“Why don’t we get you a fresh set of clothes, get you out of those ripped ones hmm?” Suguru offered and smiled like a lovesick puppy when you nodded sleepily, he patted Kento on the back as he left to grab you some clothes.
“Sweetheart?” Kento’s hands had began to shake, he knew that even if it wasn’t all his fault, it was partly his doing. How stupid he was to have let Jade stay in that room. He should have ushered her out before taking the call. He shouldn’t have been so trusting with a stranger around his mate, what a fool he was.
You looked up at Kento and felt conflicted. You yourself understood he wasn’t at fault, yet your dormant omega who had suddenly become alive, she was apprehensive. She felt betrayed in some way that had you feeling waves of the same feeling even if you didn’t want to.
“I’m sorry.” Is all he says, almost like he doesn’t know what else to say, or maybe he knows it doesn’t matter what he says, you won’t forgive that easily. That’s why your omega relaxes slightly, she can clearly see the promise to make it up to you, to grovel and graft sparkling in his eyes.
You just nod, but it’s all your omega is allowing you to do. Thankfully Suguru has perfect timing as he comes back into the room with a small pile of clothing for you. With a sweet smile he holds them out to you, offering him a smile of your own you take the pile from his hands. Slipping off of Yuji’s lap, he inhales sharply making you turn around with a frown, then you hear the same thing from the two other men in the room.
“What?” You frown turning back to your other two mates.
“Angel h-how…” you turn back to the pink haired man, his eyes brimming with tears.
“What?” You blink confused, then you feel it. A slight breeze blowing over your bare back, tickling the damaged skin and suddenly your lungs feel like sandpaper as your breathe in and out, suddenly Yuji’s proximity as he stands suffocates you. Something burning starts to unfurl in your stomach like you’d be retching soon, a coil tightening, curling and swirling until a shiver of terror racks its way through your body and your running.
Pushing past Kento who tries to catch you but your faster, slipping out of what little grip he had on you and running right into a confused looking Sukuna, bumping his shoulder and once again pushing. You needed to get away, needed to breathe. All you knew was that you were drowning and the longer you went without air, the further down you were being pulled. Your eyes began to blacken at the edges just as you reached what you hoped was the front door and as if God was on your side for once, it was.
The sky was pitch black, the only light coming from the street lamps. A golden hue shining over you as you descended deeper into your frazzled state of anxiety. Then as though the sky cracked open with a noise only rivalled by a sonic boom, Kento roared. It was automatic the way your feet stopped,
Even through your fuzzy brain and lightheadedness you still managed to hear the growled command, “Omega. Breathe.” You did. You took in deep breath, after deep breath until you were almost hyperventilating, almost exactly the same as you did this morning when you met them. Fuck it hadn’t even been a full day of knowing them and already you’d had what? Two? Three? Mental break downs.
“Omega.” Sukuna rushes to you, falling on his knees too. His arms surrounding your figure, pulling away quickly when you hiss and cry out as his skin meets yours where your shirt had been ripped at the back.
“Kuna.” Oh. His eyes are glued to you, fuck he hadn’t heard anyone call him that ever. He wishes it wasn’t laced with the sadness and pain clear as day in your voice. He wishes to hear it only in your happiest times.
“I’m here pup, just breathe omega. My beautiful omega, breathe for me,” you nod doing your best to take the breaths he’s asking you to, “that’s it, good girl. Good girl keep doing that, in and out slowly like me. Watch me.” He says cupping your cheek with his hand and turning your head until your eyes are on him, and as he asks you watch him, slowly falling into a steady rhythm of copying him. Air fills your lungs the way it desperately needs.
You allow Sukuna to coax you back inside and into the living room, it seems like everything is moving in slow motion as he leads you to sit on the sofa, kneeling in front of you. He frowns, face pinched with pain as he watches the tears fall down your cheeks, “Please pup, tell Alpha what he can do to make it better.”
You shake your head, “You can’t fix this, you can’t fix me. I can’t be fixed. I’ve tried, I’m still trying. Nothing works.” You say so strong and a matter of fact that Sukuna feels like he’s being challenged, he hears his wolf whine for the first time in its entire existence, “If you knew…” you start only to sigh and bury your face in your hands.
Sukuna goes to push for an answer when a hand places itself on his shoulder, he looks up to find Kenjaku staring down at him shaking his head. No room for arguments, Sukuna moves away from you so Kenjaku can pick you up. You squeal and after a slight panic you realise it’s just Kenny. With a small huff you ask to be put down to which he simply responds “No.”
Kenjaku carries you through the blue hallway, up the stairs and third door on the right. It’s, dark and a little cold, you feel yourself being placed on a cold surface then a flick of a switch and the white light fills the space around you. A modern style bathroom that you guess would look big if the enormous gorgeous beast wasn’t stood in it.
You take notice of the black marble countertop you’ve been placed on, it contrasts perfectly with the white tiled walls, and the white sink, next to which is the pile of clothes Suguru had given you earlier. How long had Kenjaku been back and how the hell did he manage to refold and place the clothes in a neat heap on the side?
“Arms up.” His voice is the softest it’s ever been, he hopes his face isn’t too harsh either as he watches you carefully. You go to say no, your mind begs you to only to be shushed by your omega with a softly whispered, alpha’s talking.
You hold your arms up in the air and the way the corner of his lip twitches up makes your chest swell with happiness, he looks proud of you and that has you almost preening under his gaze. He moves forward slowly, rough fingers grazing the soft skin of your hips as he grabs the hem of your ruined top and pulls it off of you dropping it on the floor.
He goes in again hooking his fingers in the sides of your trousers, “Lift.” He orders and you do, putting your body weight on the strength of your arms to push your bum off the counter enough for Kenjaku to pull your trousers down. He drops those on the floor too before grabbing the trousers in the pile and slipping them on.
He grabs the sweater, brown sharp eyes that are desperately trying to be softer, glare at your bra in offense. Before you can even protest Kenjaku is pinging the clasp of your bra open, he doesn’t even bother to look away respectfully as your breast spill out. He simply pulls away the bra, dropping it on the pile on the floor and pulls the tops onto your head, helping you put your arms in the correct holes.
You’re once again fully clothed, covered from the shoulders down in soft comforting cotton. Though your cheeks are warmer, your body feels a little achy and you have this throbbing feeling in your lower abdomen.
“Better?” He tilts his head waiting for an answer, the sight makes you crack a smile and nod.
“Thanks Kenny.” You see him freeze, a wrinkle in time, a pause in his world but not in yours. What he does next surprises you, his arms wrap around your body as he begins to nudge your legs apart so he can step in between them and hold you tightly. His thin lips drag over the skin on your forehead, leaving the sweetest of kisses there.
“You’re welcome princess.” His deep voice, the way his sturdy body was pressed against yours, how held you tender yet tight. And his scent, fuck, his scent the sweetest cinnamon hot chocolate and something musky like a manly cologne sprayed on himself to minimise the sweetness of his scent.
You realise that all of your mates have sweet bakery scents, sweet treats or drinks. Each of them attractive to you, each smelling like something you’d get from the bakery across the road from Jujutsu Kaisen Headquarters. It simply makes you bury your face further into his neck and inhale deeper.
Your nose pressed up against his scent gland was something else entirely, you breathed in deeply and unconsciously rolled your hips against the marble counter top. You’d not noticed too busy getting high on your vicious mate’s sweet smell but Kenjaku…oh he’d noticed. He reckons he could sniff out your arousal from down the street with how strong it was. His brothers would definitely notice too if that thought was anything to go by.
“Princess?” Kenjaku was unsure what to do to in this situation, to his knowledge you hadn’t had a heat ever. Was this one coming on or were you just horny? He couldn’t make heads or tails of it but what he did know was that you were clinging onto to him tighter, breathing heavily while your hips hesitantly rolled stuttering slightly each time.
“Yes Kenny?” You sounded so innocent like you genuinely didn’t know what you were doing. It had him closing his eyes tightly to get himself to calm down before he spoke.
“Are you okay?” Not wanting to scare you off by pointing out your unconscious actions, he’d let you lead this conversation. If you chose not to say anything about it, he would happily stay like this until you were ready to pull away.
“I’m not sure. I’m really hot all of a sudden.” And it was all of a sudden, like a flick of a switch, a wave of painful heat shot through your body lingering the most in your lower stomach where you’d get your period cramps. If felt similar to that but hot and more painful. It had you hunching over, hands scrambling to grab onto anything that would anchor you as the pain pulsed through your body, wave after wave.
“Omega?” He questioned, bending with you only to be hit with a strong surge of your phenomenons, they were pungent and smelled so fucking good. The way your body pushed them out more and more with each wave of pain you experienced, you were calling for an Alpha to aid you, help you.
“Alpha.” You gasped sharply, throwing your head back with a pleasure expression when Kenjaku’s hand gripped your thigh, his touch sent sparks all over you. Tingles of exquisite pleasure coming from the simple pressure of his fingertips on your leg.
“Ken.” Kenjaku was quick to snap his head towards his brother who stood in the doorway, his blonde hair messy and his clothes ruffled. He looked as disgruntled as earlier in the day right after the Jade incident occurred. He looked his way expecting an answer of what was happening to you.
“I think she’s going into her first heat.” Kento’s eyes widened with shock at his black haired brother’s words.
“But that’s..” he wanted to say impossible but would it be? You were finally surrounded by all your mates, you’d had an extremely stressful day which had pushed your once dormant omega out of hiding. It was entirely possible that your first heat, long overdue, would come now.
You moaned arching your back when Kenjaku’s hand had slid up your thigh even higher, his pinky brushing against the front of your clothed cunt. His eyes raking over your figure, he couldn’t help the groan that slipped out when he noticed the wet patch that had began to grow there. You were slicking up ready to be knotted.
“Fuck what do we do?” Kenjaku asks not taking his eyes off of you as you began to breathe raggedly and buck your hips in search of the friction you needed.
“She’s going to need us.” Sukuna’s voice had joined the conversation, making his presence known.
“She’s not…she won’t be ready for that mentally or emotionally even if she is physically.” Kento said shaking his head. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. You were supposed to get to know them and them know you. You were supposed to exchange ‘I love you’s’ first. Have the ultimate trust in them first.
Not even a day and your body was already in tune with them and your omega had slotted herself back into your life, coming back just as easily as she had left it.
“Kuna.” You whimpered, a sheer contrast to how you’d cried it earlier voice so full of sadness. Now it was needy and wanting, filled with desperation.
“Yeah baby I’m here, what’d you need bunny?” He pushes past Kento to come to your aid, his usual teasing expression completely gone and replaced with pure seriousness.
“We should move her to a bed, get her comfortable for what’s coming.” Kento suggested, talking lowly to Kenjaku as you reached forward clinging to Sukuna grabbing at his hand roughly to bring it to your aching pussy.
“Omega, be patient.” He intoned you, the first time you’d ever experienced it. The automatic response to do exactly as you’d just been told was maddening.
“Which room?” Sukuna asked his brothers.
“What’s going on?” Satoru had come seeking out you and the glorious smell that had began to fill the house. His white hair all tussled in a stressful way just like Kento’s.
“Sweetheart which room do you want to be in?” Kento asked you watching your face carefully.
“Kenny’s.” You whined despite how tightly you clung to Sukuna. Almost as if an order had been given Sukuna wrapped his arms around your body and began marching through the hallway and straight into Kenjaku’s room. He placed you on the big dark blue covered bed gently, leaning back and watching the way your back arched off the bed. He had to try his hardest to resist when you made grabby hands in his direction.
All six Alphas in one room now, all watching as you writhed in a waves of pain and begged for pleasure to be given to you. Only one question needed to be asked.
“What do we do?”
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tossawary · 2 years
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I'm not sure when exactly Mobei-Jun clued in 100% to his feelings for Shang Qinghua. You can write lots of different fun fics placing Mobei-Jun's "oh" realization in different places in SVSSS. I do think it took him a minimum of 5+ years, but that still gives us 20+ years of possibility because Moshang are truly incredible like that.
When Mobei-Jun fully realized his feelings is not important at the moment, however! Not the subject of interest here! Because I'm currently thinking about a possible stage before that, in which Mobei-Jun trusted Shang Qinghua more than anyone else in the world but hadn't yet allowed himself to think of such a ridiculous person as a romantic prospect. The stage when, due to pride and/or prejudice, Mobei-Jun still has Shang Qinghua in the "unfuckable" AND "unmarriageable" zones, but also still intends for his human servant to be by his side for the rest of his life.
Because, like, the stage before the long-brewing bubble of realization pops or the egg cracks or whatever can be the strangest of headspaces, where a person is juggling multiple conflicting ideas and still insisting to themselves that the ideas don't conflict. (See: Shen Yuan through all of SVSSS.) And I think Mobei-Jun deserves to suffer the embarrassment of looking back at his younger self's original life plans and finding them painfully obviously ridiculous.
Like, I think there was at least a solid month (but possibly even several years) where a younger Mobei-Jun's plans for the future looked something like this:
Become king. (Bring Shang Qinghua to ascension ritual.)
Kill or neutralize my uncle. (Ask Shang Qinghua for ideas.)
Conquer Demon and Human Realms. (Shang Qinghua should no longer waste so much time on his pathetic cultivation sect.)
Get married. (Doesn't really matter who it is. Have Shang Qinghua pick someone decent out.)
Have children to gain heirs. (Have Shang Qinghua raise them.)
???
Success. (Shang Qinghua is there.)
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gatorbites-imagines · 11 months
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Kinktober day 21
Ian Gallagher + Waxplay and/or temperature play
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I actually really like writing this, for some reason? You can totally imagine Mickey in the readers place, its why I haven’t used y/n in this one.
Kinktober 2023 masterlist.
The exhale that left Ian was shaky, his chest shuddering as he puffed out the breath he had been holding for a little too long in anticipation. His arms had been tied to the headboard of your shared bed, his clothes having been removed in quite a hurry when you two got home. Ever since you guys had gotten your own apartment away from his family, your intimate life had only unfolded further than before.
In the past you two didn’t have any time to experiment, since Ian had shared a room with his siblings his entire life, and your family had a habit of just barging in or even kicking down the door if it was locked. It had started with the two of you fucking all over the apartment, in the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, on the floor of the foyer, the list went on, there wasn’t a single point in your apartment that hadn’t been christened.
After that you guys started exploring different things, different kinks you’d both had an interest in but never got the chance to try. You had a sizable number of toys for this exact reason, even rope made specifically for bondage, said rope woven around Ian’s wrists and the headboard.
One of the kinks Ian had really wanted to try was waxplay, but you had always been a bit unsure, not wanting to burn him on accident. Ian, being who he was, started researching the subject and later on presented you with Soy candles made for waxplay. They were a deep green and unscented, and you knew for a fact Ian had picked that colour since it would look good dripped all over his freckled body.
He didn’t have as many freckles as he used too, having seemingly grown out of it, but during the summer some would still appear all over his face and torso. Sitting on his hips you could truly appreciate those few freckles, an almost taunting grin twitching onto your lips as you ground down against Ian’s naked cock.
You were still in your boxers, it was kind of a power thing, as Ian normally topped and was the one in charge, so something as small as leaving your own clothes on as he was stark naked as the day he was born, helped to put him in the right headspace.
He was already had, probably had gone around with a half chub all day since you had mumbled in his ear that morning that you wanted to use the candles when he got home. That was why he had been so fast to throw off his clothes, leaving a trail of it leading towards your bedroom, where he had thrown himself onto the bed and folded his arms above his head like a well-trained soldier following orders.
You could tell how giddy Ian was as he almost wiggled underneath you, his breath catching when you started running your hands up and down his torso, squeezing his pecs with an appreciative hum before you pinched at his abs, causing them to tighten as Ian gave a soft gasp.
A couple of candles were burning on the bedside table, you had lit them a few minutes before he got home, wanting to take your time before they’d melted enough to be used. As you waited, you took the time to appreciate your lovers’ body, leaning down to nip and bite at his skin, sucking hickeys against his pale neck and chest, ignoring the half-hearted grumble from Ian telling you not to leave hickeys where his coworkers could see.
You knew he didn’t mean it, especially as his cock throbbed against you, already twitching and slick with precum. Wanting to see it, you lifted your hips enough for his hard length to almost bounce against his tight stomach, a tiny pool of precum already gathering between his abs as he huffed when you sat back down on his thighs.
Unable to resist, you reached down and gave the underside of his cock a small pinch, not meant to hurt, but enough to be felt. His hips would have jumped off the bed if you weren’t sitting on him, a grunted noise leaving his clenched teeth as he furrowed his brows in a way you knew meant he was trying to still look like he was somewhat in charge of it all.
You tsked and almost cruelly rubbed your pad of your thumb against his tip, using your other hand to hold his cock still as you switched from your thumb to your palm, moving in quick movements that had a slick noise filling the room as his hips gave a hard jump upwards, almost lifting you off the bed.
Ian groaned as his eyes rolled as his lids fluttered, his teeth digging into that delicious bottom lip of his as he tried to contain the higher pitched noises wanted to rip from his throat. His legs jolted against the bed as you gave a harder squeeze around his circumcised head, giving it one last slow cruel stroke before you released it, his length falling back against his stomach with a wet slap.
Ian’s eyes fluttered open as your weight shifted, his breath catching as he saw you grabbing one of the candles off of the bedside table, almost holding his breath in anticipation as you sat back on his thighs once more, now holding the lit candle.
He audibly gulped as you blew out the candle, your free hand settling on his lower stomach as you reached up, holding the candle above his shuttering chest. Ian’s eyes were wide, he looked almost starved as his nostrils flared when he finally remembered to breathe. His eyes tracked the melted wax collecting at the lid of the candle as you turned it, his cock twitching and drooling another drop of white against his stomach.
He didn’t make much noise as you poured the first of the wax against his shaved chest, the streak of dark green standing out starkly against his pale skin. But you could tell from the way his eyes fluttered that he enjoyed it, his inhale sounding a little more rushed than before as his arms flexed against his bindings.
And so, the act continued as you kept pouring melted wax against his torso, even streaking a bit of it up his neck but never getting too close to his face for safety reasons. The colour of the wax lightened somewhat as it dried across his torso, His shuddering becoming more visible the more hot wax you flicked across his body.
Finally, as you grabbed the third and last candle, did he start making audible noise, small huffs and tiny moans leaving him as you painted a line of wax across his nipple, starting to feel more confident in the movements. A stuttered soft curse left him as you painted a line across his stomach, closer than you’d ever been before to his cock.
He looked almost wild with his wide eyes locked down on where the wax was painted across his body, it was obvious he was close as his noises rose in volume and his cock kept jolting and dripping like a broken faucet, the pool of precum on his stomach almost looking like another splash of wax.
Licking your lips, you shuffled down his thighs until you were sitting by his knees, moving where you had been holding the candle. When Ian noticed where you were holding the candle, his gasped hungrily, audible gulping as your eyes met, your eyes asking if he wanted it.
Ian couldn’t have nodded any faster, his lip quivering and deep red from where he had been biting at it. You weren’t gonna drip it right on his dick, you didn’t feel comfortable to do that, but you started dripping wax near it. On his stomach near the tip, downwards on his abdomen beside his length, the flashes of heat from the wax leaving Ian keening as his legs grew more and more restless.
One line of wax across the inside of his thigh seemed to be what kicked off over the edge, white shooting from his tip and covering the layer of green wax covering his torso, the white standing out starkly against the deep green. His legs twitched and jolted under you, but he wasn’t able to move them too much as you were still seated on him, but the huffed moans that left him made it clear just how much he enjoyed it.
Putting the candle away to the side, you rubbed your hands across the outer side of his thighs as he laid there shivering and twitching softly, basking in the flash of orgasm for as long as possible, before he went limp against the bed, his eyes shut and mouth open as he breathed softly.
You leaned down to kiss his wax covered chest before you got to your feet, undoing the bindings holding his arms in place as you kissed his forehead, letting him softly grab the back of your head to pull you into a slow and deep kiss. You mumbled against his lips that you’d be right back, meeting his eyes as you pulled away from the kiss, his pupils blown wide and expression soft and so in love it almost made your teeth ache.
As you grabbed what you needed to clean up your shared experience from the bathroom, you couldn’t help but decide it hadn’t been as bad as you thought. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, and seeing how Ian had reacted you most definitely wanted to do it again, and you had a feeling Ian wouldn’t have anything against that either.
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ronearoundblindly · 18 days
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Forgive me if I sent this ask before... I don't remember if I did 😅 but if not just know that I thought about sending it in since you started this series 🙈
For who would:
If you just hand them your baby niece or nephew or a baby you're watching for a friend (just any baby lol) who would hand it right back to you, silently hold it with a sheer look of panic till you come back and take it or be a natural and not give it back to you at all?
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I love this bit of fluff and silliness for a Sunday; excellent question!
James Mace
He asks a lot of questions about what needs done or should be done. Is it changing time? How much head support should he provide? Is this a DND (do not disturb, D&D is for his own kiddos) baby ready for a nap? Is this play time? Should he be engaging the baby or keeping up conversation with the group?
Now, as to whether or not having the baby in his arms gives him any ideas: not any more than he's already had. You two have plans, you've talked about this and are on the same page, so his interactions right then have to do with that baby at that moment. He doesn't necessarily have stronger feelings when handling other people's children.
Curtis Everett
Curtis does not trust himself around babies especially. He goes extremely stiff and extremely quiet. He stares intensely. He will not do anything unless you tell him to do something with the baby. Even then he is not truly comfortable.
Babies bring up a lot of memories and emotions for him, and theoretically he knows he isn't in the same place/headspace as when he was younger, he knows babies aren't in as much danger as the old days, but he still gets so overwhelmed by it.
Yes, Curtis is even like this with his own children. He counts the days until his child is old enough to not be considered a 'baby' anymore. In fact, Curtis enjoys the memory of their infancy, pictures and videos, etc, more than he can enjoy being with them as infants.
Jimmy Dobyne
Honestly, a total natural. Small towns and rural areas mean closer-knit families, neighbors, and friends. They all help each other out. A bunch of kids shuffle around to spend afternoons here or Saturdays there. Babies get passed around to let parents get errands done or go on dates. It's not a big deal; it's just a way of life.
At this point, Jimmy has cleaned up after and fed a dozen different species of 'babies.' He's fine with it. He doesn't play much though, not with babies. Jimmy prefers when they're old enough to run around for catch or sports, etc. That's more his wheelhouse.
Johnny Storm
Fucking terrified to handle babies but LOVES entertaining them. Will do absolutely anything to make that baby laugh. To a fault sometimes because Johnny will get so animated he knocks shit over in the house or wherever you two are.
You give him credit for trying though.
Jake Jensen
Sits that baby up on his lap and continues to watch whatever screen he's focused on.
Jake isn't necessarily bad with babies, but he prefers to continue to enjoy the more adult entertainment/interactions around him. Like Jimmy, he will be more than hands-on excited once that baby can be active with their own interests (sports or otherwise) because he will participate and support 100%. Babies are just a bit too floppy and unreadable for him.
Lloyd Hansen
Thrilled to let those tiny baby fingers try to hold the grip of his switchblade. Adores how fucking angry the parents (or you) get when he plays with knives around them or has them play with the knives. Lloyd secretly finds baby facial reactions to be the funniest things on the planet--but, no, he doesn't actually like babies.
Ari Levinson
Ari is a playful papa through and through. Has more than once strapped that carrier to his chest and wondered around with someone's kiddo for whole parties. Endlessly entertained and entertaining when it comes to babies.
However, Ari really, really doesn't like when babies get grabby and pull at his hair. That shit hurts, and he hates it. Also he's oddly squeamish about spit-up and/or vomit. Technically, he is not a fan of diaper duty, like very, very, very not a fan.
Ransom Drysdale
The absolute fuck are you handing him a baby for??? Bitch, are you insane?! Be real. Seriously. Just don't.
There isn't even much improvement in this behavior when it's Ran's own child. Not a fan of the 'baby' stage, this one.
Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes
Lumping these two together because they do exactly the same things. Steve and Bucky physically treat female and male babies differently; they are sweet and cooing with girls, and then they talk about or mimic sports things with boys. They don't mean to be presumptive in this behavior, just do it be default.
Neither is afraid to roll their sleeves up and help with feeding or changing. They'll give equal attention to the baby and the group around you. They will both happily sit/stand/walk around with a napping baby in their arms--although they aren't thrilled to be unable to help with other stuff while they have no available hands.
Thank you for asking!
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[Main Masterlist; Who Would...? Asks List; Ko-Fi]
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Text
I think I'll always be a little surprised that it's such a common headcanon that Ed and Izzy have had a romantic/sexual relationship in the past, or that Ed ever viewed Izzy as a potential romantic interest. For me, the way that Izzy manages to have this nearly parasocial relationship with someone he talks to every day and thinks of Ed in a sexual way, along with how Ed likely sees Izzy as a parallel to other cruel older men in his life, is what makes their relationship so fucking fascinating in the first place.
Izzy's attraction to Ed is just so clearly unreciprocated! I don't think Ed realized Izzy was attracted to him until s1e10, when Izzy strokes his face and looks down at his lips while threatening him, and he looks deeply uncomfortable and upset. When Izzy confesses his "love" in s2e1, saying "I have love for you," like it's a disease, like it's something shameful he possesses, Ed basically bluescreens. If someone responds to a love confession by saying "oh come onnnnn" I just don't think they feel the same way, man, sorry.
And I love how Izzy is paralleled to Ed's abusive father in the first season, in a similar way to how Hornigold shows how fucked up Ed's relationships with older men are in season 2. They all hurt people Ed cares about, and when Ed retaliates against controlling behavior, they frame his reaction as revealing an integral capacity for violence that's somehow unique to Ed, proof something is wrong with him. Ed's relationships with older men consistently re-traumatize him.
"I loved you, best I could," is such a juicy line, and I think it really shows Ed's headspace at that moment - he's just tried to get Izzy to kill him, basically saying "you told me I had to be Blackbeard or I was dead, and I can't do it, so you need to finish the job," and Izzy just mocked him for being too scared to kill himself directly. Ed was never, ever going to be able to meet Izzy's expectations for him.
The most interesting thing about Ed and Izzy's relationship is how they see each other so wildly differently, I think. Izzy sees Blackbeard as the ideal of piracy to the extent that he doesn't see Ed as a three-dimensional person, and Ed's projecting his daddy issues onto this mean White guy. They, fundamentally, do not understand each other. It's so fucked up and I love it so much.
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