#and helping get ed to a safe and happy ending

[butyoudidthis4what]

Quiet

Widower!Jack Abbott x Widow Single Mom!Reader

19.9k || All my content is 18+ MDNI || CW: sick baby; sick mom; mentions of needles; inaccurate medical knowledge/descriptions/tests etc.; reference to past pregnancy; reference to past miscarriages but no graphic descriptions, just a mention they occurred (reader does not actively experience one in the fic); Jack was in the army; reader's husband was in the army and died while deployed; discussions of IVs and needle sticks; reader gets an IV and is not afraid of needles; mild description of IV insertion; shy reader; discussion of possible peanut allergy; mentions of covid, influenza a and b and RSV; mom guilt; discussions of loss of spouse; lots of grief and self hate for a bit; Jack is vaguely suicidal and ideating at the beginning; healing; reader and jack are human and not perfect and make mistakes; reader can't cook; baby is a boy but is not named; DOMESTIC JACK

Summary: Widower Jack and widowed single mom Reader meet in the Pitt when Reader's baby gets sick. What follows is healing, patience and becoming ready.

A.N.: Inspired by this ask. This was so inspiring and I went totally off the rails. There will for sure be a part two. I really wanted to do something with Jack being a widower but was unsure of how to. This ask came in and the idea came to me and I felt like it was a good way to work with that piece of him. The beginning is quite emotional, I'm not going to say angst, there's just a lot of emotions and sadness and grief as we define Jack and Reader's reality. I PROMISE that the end gets fluffy and happy and (I hope) funny! Part two will be more fluff with a dash of emotion sprinkled in as we watch their relationship develop and the two get their happily ever after together!

You make it to about ten before you decide to go in. It’s not a long drive and by 10:15 p.m. you’re parked and walking into the ED.

You bite your lip and bounce just a little to help keep him asleep in your arms while the woman behind the plexiglass processes your insurance and co-pay. She gives you a warm smile, says to take a seat and it’ll be just a few minutes and they’ll get you back. 

Thanking her you grab your cards and do as she says. You’re surprised by how quiet it is. There’s a few people in the waiting room but it seems more like they’re waiting on people as opposed to be seen. Small mercies, you suppose. You’ll take what you can get. 

You can only imagine what you must look like right now, how bad you must look. You wish your husband was here. Wish he had been here for it all. He’d reassure you. Tell you that you were doing the right thing by coming in. Better to be safe than sorry. You can hear him telling you it. 

A call of your last name dissolves his voice playing in the back of your head. You follow a nurse back and get settled in a room. All the basics are done, everything you expected. And like you expected the second you set your son down so that his vitals can be taken he starts to cry. It makes you want to cry. 

Bridget reassures you that it’s okay, is quick taking his vitals so you can get him back in your arms and calm him. You know you must look like a mess, hair messed up, eyes reflecting how exhausted you are and the lack of sleep, wrinkled clothes that have at least one stain somewhere, probably more. And you’re sure that your face reflects how you feel inside, how frazzled you are, how guilty, how scared, how upset, how sad, how out of control you feel. 

Bridget dims the lights for you and leaves you to hold your son against you in the hospital bed. “I’ll have a doctor in as soon as possible.”

“Thank you,” you murmur, “and I’m sorry for being kind of a mess. Well, not kind of at this point.” 

She just laughs. “I understand, but trust me, you’re doing just fine.”

You manage to give her a small smile back and nod. She walks out and then it’s just you and your son. Like it always is. Your husband isn’t here, he’s never going to be here. His absence is pronounced as you lay in a hospital bed in an emergency room with your sick nine-month old. You do your best to not think about it because if you do, you’ll lose it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He’s missing her tonight, more than usual. Maybe it’s not so much that he’s missing her more than usual but he’s more aware of how much he always misses her. It’s more acute. Like some flareup of a chronic illness. Thinking in medical terms helps.

He knows he shouldn’t do that, try to understand it like it’s some illness he can study and understand. It’s just grief. It’s just there more than others some days. Sometimes he can articulate why and others he can’t.

Tonight he can’t. 

He bends his thumb inward and puts it on his wedding band, thumbs at it so it rolls around his finger. Nervous habit. That’s what he calls it now. When she was alive it helped ground him, reminded him she was there and he’d be going home to her, could make it through whatever was in front of him. And then she died. So now he tells himself it’s a nervous habit because he doesn’t know what the fuck else to call it. 

To those who don’t know him he still looks like a husband subtly using his wedding band to ground himself or remind himself of his wife or because he’s thinking about her and so he’s subconsciously playing with his ring. 

If only. 

Jack inches a little further and looks down over the ledge of the roof. The ground looks so inviting from the roof sometimes. It would be so simple. He could be reunited with her, if such a thing was real. 

Sometimes though he wants to be selfish and not care how she’d feel about it because she, unlike him, isn’t around anymore to feel fucking anything. Sometimes his grief comes out in anger because she got it fucking easy, she didn’t have to lose him, she doesn’t have to be here, doing all this feeling while alone. He always hates himself after that even though his therapist says it’s normal. But he’s stuck here and has to do the feeling because when he tried to bury the feelings he nearly self-destructed. 

So Jack stands on the roof. Stands and feels. And Jack is tired. Tired of feeling. At least like this anyway. 

He knows she’d hate it, hate him walking off the ledge of the roof so he doesn’t. Not tonight. 

Instead he slips back under the guard rail and leans against it, lets his head fall back and the chill in the air bring him back down. 

It’s too quiet, he realizes. Maybe that’s why his awareness of how much he misses her is so high right now. He likes noise. Keeps his mind quiet. The Pitt is too quiet. Even the City as he stands on the roof. And so his mind is loud. 

It makes him uneasy. There’s always a reason for silence. For quiet. It always means something. Always brings something. Rarely, if ever, is it good.

Jack lets out a heavy sigh and then leaves the roof, heads back down to the Pitt hoping to find something to do. He’ll take anything at this point. “There you are,” Bridget greets him as he walks back in. “Sick nine-month old waiting for you,” she nods at your room, tells him your son’s name, a general overview. “Baby doesn’t seem too bad. Mom is stressed.” 

Jack nods, says a quick “thanks,” as starts walking towards your room. 

He looks in and sees you through the glass and stops. You are beautiful. Strikingly so. And Jack hasn’t even met you yet but feels like he’s known you forever, is drawn to you. It feels like he just understands you, or maybe more like he knows you’re going to understand him. It’s the strangest feeling. 

You start to glance up from looking at your son and Jack quickly resumes moving, knocking slightly on the door since you’ve already seen him and walking in, shutting the door behind him. “Hi, I’m Dr. Abbot,” he introduces himself. 

And god, now that he’s in your space, in here with your energy it’s even more intense. It’s like he’s supposed to know you, supposed to have met you. Like some kind of palpable fate in his brain. He briefly wonders if he’s hallucinating because this is not shit he really believes in, not normally. 

Quiet, Jack thinks. It always brings something. Or maybe someone. 

“I hear we’re not feeling well.” He looks down at your son who is asleep in your arms, head on your chest. “Mom, right?”

You nod, tell him your name. Nearly trip over it because this man is so handsome it is unfair. Then you feel bad the second you have that thought. But then you start to feel pulled to him. He’s just comforting and you struggle to understand how because you don’t know him. It feels like you do, but you don’t. You’re drawn to him. You feel like you actually need to know him. Like he and you are here for a reason. 

You immediately chastise yourself for having those thoughts. Your husband, you remind yourself, your husband. He’d have wanted you to move on, to grieve and then find someone. You don’t even have to assume that or just think it. You knew it. You knew it because of that fucking video he left you that you were never supposed to have to see. 

You bring yourself back into the present. 

“What’s been going on to bring you in?” Jack asks as he logs into the computer and pulls up your son’s chart. He glances over at you and catches a look in your eye. Jack thinks you feel it too. Whatever is between you and him, the connection. It feels like you know it’s there too. Maybe that’s wishful thinking.

You tell him what’s been going on, symptoms your son is showing. Jack alternates between typing on the computer and looking at you. “I, um, I called the nurse hotline, you know, on the back of the insurance card before I came in, I really didn’t want to waste your time, I know you guys are so busy. She said that it’s probably okay to wait to get in with the pediatrician, but that if I was concerned I could go to the emergency room and I really tried to wait, I did, but I just, I don’t know. I felt like he sounded more wheezy.” You shrug at him, eyes round and showing how distressed you are, a hint of glass at them that suggests you’re close to tears. “It’s RSV season, you know? I mean I know you know. And god, I don’t want to be like, doctor WebMD or whatever, I trust you and your expertise, it’s just why I came in, they tell you about it so much at all the appointments and I, I don’t want anything to happen to him. But if you think this is too much you can just say and-”

“It’s not too much,” Jack cuts you off, nodding gently. “I promise. Better to be safe than sorry especially if you feel like he’s been a little more wheezy.” You nod at Jack who keeps looking at you intently. It makes you clear your throat and look away. But when he doesn’t say anything after a second you look back up at him. “You did the right thing,” he tells you when he catches your eye contact again. “Can I?” He gestures to your son. 

“Oh! Yes, yes of course! Here, let me get out of bed and lay him down.” You give a breathy laugh that reveals how out of sorts you are. You’re clearly thrumming with nervous energy, frenetic and flustered.

“No, it’s okay. You can stay, I’ll take him and get him on the end of the bed if that’s okay?” He holds his hands out to take your son. 

“Of course, yeah, whatever is easiest for you and best for him!” You gently pull your son from you and he starts to wake and fuss. “I’m sorry, he hates not being held right now and he hates being held by anyone but me it seems like sometimes, so he might not…” you trail your sentence off when Jack takes your son and he settles against Jack as they walk to the end of the bed. “Settle.” You sit up and cross your legs to give Jack more room. “I guess he likes you,” you laugh softly. 

“Good taste in people already,” Jack quips absentmindedly as he lays your son down. You give a soft laugh and the corners of his lips pull up. You get his humor. He likes that. Not everyone does especially when he executes it so stoically sometimes. There really is a draw there. 

Your son starts to fuss again and Jack can see you stiffen a little and start to look like you’re about to apologize. “It’s alright, little guy, I’ll have you back to mom soon.” He keeps a hand gently on your son’s tiny stomach and chest while putting his stethoscope on with one hand and rubbing the chest piece on the side of his scrub top for a few seconds to warm it up before putting it to your son’s skin. “I know, I’m sorry,” he murmurs in between listens, gently pulling your son up into a sitting position to listen to the back of his chest. “I’m the worst, I know, you can tell me all about it, won’t be the first or the last.” 

You sit there watching the whole interaction stunned. You don’t know why, you just never expected to get a doctor who would be so good with your son, with you. There’s something about him. Something you could never hope to articulate. You’re just drawn to him, he feels like some sort of kindred spirit which you tell yourself is crazy because you’ve known the man all of four minutes. 

Jack takes his stethoscope out and finishes his exam. “You have his clothes?” He glances up at you as you ask. 

“Hm?” You lean in a little towards him. Before he can repeat himself the words process. “Oh, yes!” You grab them from beside you. You’d taken them off earlier with Bridget so she and eventually the doctor could examine your son. 

“Thanks.” Jack grabs them from you and gets your son dressed again. 

“No, thank you. You… You didn’t have to do that.” The smile you give him almost reads embarrassed. 

“Least I could do for upsetting him so much by laying him down.” Jack picks your son up and brings him the few steps back up to you as you stretch your legs out again. Your son has already started to settle in his arms again. 

“So,” Jack reaches over for the rolling stool in the room and uses the pressure of his fingertips to slide it over to him before sitting down on it and rolling up to be closer to the midpoint of the bed so you can talk. “You’re right, he’s a little wheezy. Nothing terrible, but it’s there. His fever is still pretty low grade and I saw he’s about due for some acetaminophen, so we can recheck after we give him some more in a bit. Is RSV a possibility? Yes. So is a common cold. So is influenza A or B, so is Covid.” Jack can see you getting more panicky. 

“I…” You shake your head and look at Jack. “This is my fault.” Jack furrows his eyebrows at you and cocks his head a little. “I, I’m a single mom. It’s just him and I and I have to send him to daycare so that I can work and I don’t have any family around to help and I can’t afford a nanny, daycare is expensive as it is and I don’t want to have to send him to day care, even though I know that’s a normal thing and lots of parents do it and are good parents, are great parents, it doesn’t define how good of a parent you are, but I just think in this case, it’s me. I let him get sick. I exposed him. And I never wanted that, I really didn’t I just don’t have other options and it’s so hard and I spent months researching and touring locations to try and find the best one I could afford, but at the end of the day it’s still a cesspool of germs and I don’t know. I know that it’s mom guilt and daycare guilt and I shouldn’t feel that way, but I do and you know, nothing can happen to him.” You hold your son a little closer to you. You know if something happened to him you’d be gone within minutes. “Nothing can happen to him,” you repeat, a murmur. 

There’s a small silence and then you look up. “Oh my god,” you look at Jack horrified. “I just dumped that all on you and said all of that out loud. You’re a doctor. A busy doctor in an emergency room, you so do not have time for this, and god, fuck, it’s not even your job to listen anyway. I am so, so sorry.” You fight back tears because you are not doing this, you are not losing it here in an emergency room with your son in your arms. Because if one tear falls all of them will. 

Jack can see how you’re trembling. He noticed you were a little when he came in the room, noticed how chapped your lips were. 

“Hey, it’s all good.” Jack’s voice is soft and he tries to catch your eye to reassure you more but doesn’t force you when you avoid it. “I have time, you picked a good night, okay? And I know that nothing I can say will help with the guilt and I know you know but this stuff happens. They get sick. You did what you’re supposed to do, brought him in, called the hotline, monitored him closely.” You close your eyes for a second and take in a few breaths. He can tell you need to move on and not dwell here or something will open up that you can’t close and there is nobody who understands that better than Jack. “I don’t think anything is going to happen to him. I’m going to give you some choices, okay?” 

You finally look back up at him and nod, give him an apologetic smile. “Thank you,” you whisper. 

Jack nods. “First option is we give him some acetaminophen here and keep you guys here for a couple hours to monitor him and see how he does. That’s the least intensive option. Second option is the most intensive option. We test for RSV, rhinovirus, influenza A and B, Covid. That would be a swab test, one for all. We draw some blood and run a few tests just to check on everything. And then we do a chest x-ray to see if anything’s going on. Third option is a middleground. We start with the swab test. If it comes back positive for one we discuss more options. If it comes back negative then maybe we decide to do bloodwork. Choice is yours. None of them are wrong.”

You swallow hard. Your mind races as you try to decide. What if you make the wrong choice and something happens? 

“What would you do if he was yours?” You ask Jack, voice so, so small, so scared. Jack barely knows you but his heart aches for you. It’s like he understands you somehow even though he’s not a parent, has no reason to feel such a pull or connection to you. 

“Uh, wow, I… I don’t know,” Jack stutters a little because the question throws him so much. 

“I’m sorry if that was inappropriate, you don’t have to answer. I thought maybe you and your wife had kids and maybe that’s inappropriate too, god.” You cringe at yourself. But yeah. You’d noticed the wedding ring when he took your son from you. 

“No, no, it’s not inappropriate and we… I,” Jack looks almost pained. It’s familiar, the expression he wears. You feel like you know it well even if you can’t place it in the moment. “No kids,” he finally settles on, “I don’t have any kids. And I can’t say I’ve thought about… this, what I would do before.” He brings a hand up to his head and runs it through his hair before crossing his arms over his chest for a second before moving them back down to rest on his legs. “It’s hard,” he shrugs, and gives you an apologetic look. “The doctor in me who knows all of the possibilities says option two. But the doctor in me also knows that’s probably a bit overkill and that realistically option one is fine, and that option three is the best, that middleground.” He looks away from you and down at your son, studies your little boy whose small hand clings to your shirt. “I can’t say I’ve ever really tried to access the… paternal side of me,” Jack clears his throat, “not in a long time anyway. But I think I’d have to go option two, even though it’s overkill and involves a needle stick. I’d want the reassurance and to see the numbers and images.” 

You nod. “Yeah,” you say quietly and look down at your son. “Yeah, I think that’s what I want to do. I just needed, I don’t know. Not permission but… something.” You look back up at Jack and your eyes glaze over a bit. Something he recognizes, something he’s been told happens to him when he talks about his wife. His head tilts slightly at the thought. “Input.” You finally whisper. “I needed input.” 

Jack watches your bottom lip tremble and you bite it to stop it from doing so. 

Because you don’t have input. Your input is in the ground. Six feet in the ground. You never really got to have any input. Not from the one person whose input mattered most. 

And you don’t miss how you feel this connection to Jack and now he’s your input. Guilt and sorrow and grief and some vague flicker of anticipation slam into you. Anticipation is a new feeling, you haven’t had it since you gave birth. Even the way you phrased the question. Not what would he do with his child or if it was his kid here what would he do. No, you’d asked what would he do if your son was his.

You have to stop thinking about it.

Jack leans back a little and runs his palms down his thighs. “Okay, then that’s what we’ll do. I’ll go ahead and put in the orders for the tests and acetaminophen. You can go to x-ray with him and wait behind the door, the rest we’ll do in here. I can swab,” he says with a small smile as he grabs one of the testing kits they have out of the cabinet in the room. He quickly types an order into the computer.“But I’m going to have one of our nurses come and grab some blood. I’d do it but nobody wants that. They’re the best sticks in the place, I promise.” He gives you a small but reassuring smile. 

You can’t remember the last time you genuinely felt reassured by anyone’s smile. That’s a lie. You can. It was the last time your husband ever smiled at you. The thought makes the smile you give him in return falter a bit. Jack wonders if he did something. Said the wrong thing. 

Your son fusses a bit for the swab, but you’re able to help hold him still so that Jack can get it done as quickly as possible. He settles back easy enough. Bridget walks in with some supplies while Jack continues typing. 

Jack was right, Bridget is a fantastic stick and the needle is so small your son makes just a little whimper before resting on you again. You feel bad when you have to wake him a bit to give him the tylenol. His small hands rub at his eyes and he tries to move his head away but you coax him to it so easily, so naturally, Jack thinks to himself. “Thanks Bridget,” he says quietly as she walks out. 

“Alright,” Jack says through an exhaled breath as he finishes on the computer. “I’m gonna be honest with you,” he starts as he grabs some hand sanitizer, “I’m more worried about you, mom, than I am about the baby.” He turns to look at you as he sits back down on the stool, tilts his head at you. 

You blink at him, like what he said is still processing. “Me?” Jack nods. “I’m fine, I feel fine. I’m just maybe a bit tired because, you know, sick kid but… I’m fine.” 

Jack pushes his bottom lip out a little and pulls down, nods just a little. He doesn’t believe you. You know he doesn’t. “When’s the last time you ate?” 

You look at him again for a moment and for a minute Jack thinks he’s gone too far, overstepped, has been imagining everything he’s felt since he saw you. “Um,” you finally say. He realizes you’ve been trying to think when it was, not that he upset you or anything. “I, I don’t know, probably I had something for lunch, I’m sure.” 

“You’re shaking.” Jack points out. You furrow your brows, unsure if he’s right and if he is how he could possibly know that. “Hold out a hand.” You do as he asks and sure enough, you can’t keep it still. “When’s the last time you drank some water?” He gives you a look as he says it and tilts his head at you. “Your lips are chapped. It’s been a bit, I’d guess. You’re dehydrated.”

You look away from him, can’t decide if you’re uncomfortable with his scrutiny or if you kind of like it. It feels wrong to like it. 

“Listen, I’m not trying to be a dick, okay?” He goes to continue speaking and stops, what he just said hitting him. “I probably shouldn’t have said dick in front of a patient, so I apologize for that,” you laugh at that and shake your head telling him not to. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be doing this by yourself. But you have to take care of yourself for him, and again, I know you know that,” he holds his hands up, “I just wanted to say because I’m sure it’s easy to lose sight of, especially when he’s sick.”

You nod and let yourself look back at him. “Yeah,” you nod. “It is.” 

“So, game plan for you is to get some food and water in your system. What do you like to eat?” 

“Oh, wow,” you laugh a little. “Dr. Abbot, that is-”

“Jack,” he interrupts you to tell you, “call me Jack.”

“Uh, okay. Well, Jack, that is very kind of you but I’ll be okay, and I can grab something once we get home. I will grab something.” You try to give him a reassuring smile. “Promise.” 

Jack shakes his head and clicks his tongue. “No, you’re going to be here too long for that to be a deal. Between the x-ray and blood test results and monitoring him. Food and water or I’m going to create a chart for you and give you an IV.” He shrugs like it’s the simplest thing in the world. Like it’s something he would do for any patient. 

You both know he wouldn’t. 

In part because having this much time is a rarity, beyond a rarity even. In part because any patient isn’t you.

You open your mouth to speak a couple of times and then close it again. “Okay,” you whisper. 

“Great,” Jack smiles at you. “What do you like to eat?”

You look at Jack and you look so overwhelmed he starts to feel bad. “Jack, I, honestly?” you laugh, “I have no fucking idea. Like none. I don’t remember, I don’t have the ability to even pick.” You’re still laughing because it’s so fucking ridiculous. A simple question. And yet you can’t answer it. 

There’s a sorrow to your laugh that resonates with Jack. It sounds familiar. Sounds like his laugh sometimes. 

“Alright, well,” Jack laughs a little with you, keeps it light, “I’d say I can work with that but I think it’s really more like I’m gonna have to work with that.” 

You shake your head and cringe at yourself. “You must think I’m a disaster. God, I’m sure I look like one.” 

Jack presses his lips together and squints a little, shakes his head. “I don’t think either, nor is either true.” 

Jack leans back and it stretches his shirt against his chest, pulls it tauter. The outline of two familiar pieces of metal and rubber silencers becomes visible, just for a second. You’d been feeling a little better. Now you’re about to be sick. About to lose it. 

Your smile falls, and Jack furrows his brows, goes to ask if you’re okay. 

“Do you have dog tags in your pocket?” You glance down at his chest pocket. 

“Uh, yeah, yeah I do.” If Jack had stopped right there you would have been fine. You would have been able to breathe through it, shut yourself down emotionally, and kept it all in. But he doesn’t. And you’re exhausted and your baby is sick and your husband is dead. 

Jack pulls them out of his pocket and flashes them at you. Quickly, but long enough.

Jack knows something is wrong based on the look on your face and the way you stare at his dog tags and then his chest pocket when they’re back away. You start shaking your head, squeeze your eyes closed. “Hey,” Jack starts softly. 

You shake your head faster, try to say something but all that comes out is a soundless sob as you devolve into tears. Quiet ones because your son is asleep in your arms but big wracking ones nonetheless.

It clicks into place. The draw to you. Feeling like he understood you and you him. Recognizing the way your eyes glazed over just slightly. The familiar sorrow to your laugh. 

You’re a widow too. 

And if Jack was a betting man he’d put a whole lot of money on your husband being deployed when you lost him. 

Jack’s up quickly, grabbing the box of tissues and setting them on the bed near you while reaching for your son wordlessly, only a nod and gentle motion of his hands to offer. You’re torn between whether having your son out of your arms will help or hurt, but you know it’s not fair to him and that eventually he’ll wake up because of your sobs, no matter how quiet you are. 

Jack takes him from you and sits back down in one of the chairs this time, pulling it over to be closer to the bed and kicking the stool out of the way. Your son stays asleep as Jack settles him on his chest. He feels a bit cooler too, Jack notes.

“I’m so, sorry,” you choke out quietly between sobs, “you can give him back and go, this is, this is not your problem to deal with.” Jack doesn’t reply, just nudges the tissues closer to you. 

And so you keep crying. And Jack keeps holding your son. 

Eventually you cry yourself out and are so numb you’re left with just shame and embarrassment for doing this here, in front of Jack and your son. 

As the sniffles stop, you try to look at Jack but are too embarrassed. “I’m so sorry,” you repeat. “I’ll take him back and you can go.”

Jack stands up and hands you your son back. A wave of relief and calm washes over you at having his familiar weight back in your arms and on your chest. But there’s a pang of sadness too, you really thought Jack might stay. You don’t know why you care.

But Jack surprises you, sits back down and pulls his phone out for a second, sends off a couple of messages. He turns his attention back to you. “I’m gonna stay for a bit. The uh,” he struggles to find a word that won’t jinx everything, “patient census,” he makes a face when he says it like he can’t believe he just said those words, “is low tonight. I have time.” He lets out a long breath through his nose. “And you have nothing to apologize for,” he shakes his head slowly as he speaks.

You give him a slight smile at patient census and the look he pulls, a little nod and he doesn’t push for more. He gives you time. 

But after a while he puts it out there so you know that you can. “You wanna talk about it?”

You look at him and see understanding, feel like you’re really being seen for the first time since your husband died and you don’t know why Jack is the one. 

“I don’t know,” you whisper. Shrug at him with a watery smile. “I don’t know how to.” 

Jack nods slowly. Pauses for a moment and takes in a big breath he lets out, a little shaky. A shaky you feel like you recognize. “My wife died five years ago, so when I say I know what you mean, I promise I really do.” 

You shut your eyes and grimace as it all falls into place. The connection you felt with him. The pull. Why he makes you feel seen. 

“God I am so sorry, when I asked earlier, about kids and if you and your wife had any, I just thought with the ring, god I of all people should know better than that.” You shake your head at yourself. 

“You had no way of knowing,” Jack shakes his head. He looks down at his ring. Then to your ring finger which is empty. That deep set confliction and need to explain starts to rise. “I still wear it because… I think… It’s-”

“Hey,” you say softly. “You don’t have to explain. Not to anyone, and certainly not to me.”

Jack nods. You sit in the quiet for a few minutes. 

“I would probably still have mine on, but,” you sigh, “I guess it requires more backstory.” You pause to collect yourself. “Long story short is he was in the army. Scheduled to be deployed. Really short one. He was done after it too. Would have been out.” You take in another shaky breath. “We’d been trying for a baby for a while. I kept miscarrying. Little under two weeks before he was leaving I found out I was five weeks pregnant. And this one felt different. I had morning sickness. There was so much cautious optimism and he hated that he had to leave but he was supposed to be back in time for birth as long as everything went as planned.” You shrug. “He died when I was ten weeks pregnant.” 

Jack closes his eyes at that. His heart aches for you in the way only someone whose heart has been through that same loss can. 

“Yeah, pretty fucking sick of the universe. The one time I keep the pregnancy I lose the husband.” You wipe at your eyes with the tissue in your hand. “Anyway, late pregnancy my hands swelled up. Rings didn’t fit. I had to take them off. And once I had him and knew they would fit again I couldn’t bring myself to slide them back on. He was supposed to be the one to do that, you know?” Jack nods. He gets it. “So I think that’s probably the only reason I’m not still wearing mine.” 

“It’s not been five years though,” Jack points out. 

“There’s no timeline on when to be ready and take them off. I’m the newbie to the widow game here, but even I know that.” You give him a lopsided smile and Jack lets out a little laugh. 

“No timeline to any of it.” Jack offers. You raise your brows and lower them, nod as to wordlessly say true. 

You’re interrupted by Bridget bringing in some water and food for you. It’s obvious something has happened between the two of you and that you’ve been crying. “There’s an incoming,” she says quietly to Jack. “ETA four. We need you.” He nods. 

Bridget steps out and Jack stands up, puts the chair back and looks back at you, rolls his eyes. “Patient census comment coming back to bite me in the ass. Shoulda known better.” 

You let out a small laugh. “I thought it was very Scottish Play of you.” Jack smiles at you. “I’m sorry it didn’t work.” He walks over to the door and puts his hand on the door handle, pauses, thinking.

Jack turns back to look at you. “What’s done cannot be undone,” he says with a little smirk. 

You laugh almost properly at that. It makes you feel, maybe not totally happy, but okay. It’s been a while since you’ve felt either. 

“Oh wow, okay, well go get ‘em Lady Macbeth.” Jack laughs softly, more of just a smile with some air breathed out of his nose as he shakes his head a little at you. 

He doesn’t say to eat and drink the water and that he’ll be back to check on you. He doesn’t need to. You know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few weeks pass. Your son recovers without incident. You can’t stop thinking about Jack. Jack can’t stop thinking about you. He has to talk himself out of looking up your info in your son’s chart and going to stop by and make sure your son recovered okay. 

You get sick. Really sick. You finally get your son down for a nap and stare at the piece of paper Jack had given you as you left. 

“Here,” Jack hands you a slip of paper with his name and number written on it. “If you ever need anything, call me, okay? If you need help fixing something at home or someone to watch the baby for an hour so you can grab a shower, or for however long it takes you to get your hair done, or whatever. Don’t hesitate to call.” Jack swallows. He doesn’t know how this part is going to go. “Or, you know… just call me.” 

You look up at him wide-eyed. “Oh, wow,” you laugh nervously, “wow Jack, I am so flattered, truly. But I just,” you look away from him, suddenly somehow even more shy, like the man hasn’t seen you sobbing and snotty and is still interested in you. “I’m not ready. I don’t know when-”

“That’s okay,” Jack nods, “I just wanted to put it out there. But still. I want you to call if you need something, okay? I respect your answer and so if you call I’m not going to expect anything or badger you about it or try and force it on you. I just want to help.” He looks to the side for a moment and then back at you. “One vet helping an active.” 

You feel so bad about it, are so conflicted. But you could really, really use some help. So you text him, tell him it’s you. 

You - Are you at work? 

J - No. 

J - Everything okay? 

You - Did you just get off work? 

J - No, string of off days. 

You chew your lip as you pull up his contact and stare at the number. You just tap randomly at your phone and let the universe decide. If it calls him then it calls him, if it doesn’t then it wasn’t meant to be. 

It calls him. 

“Hey,” he picks up on the first ring, sounds concerned, “you okay? Baby okay?”

You clear your throat and he can already hear it, is already standing up to throw on some real clothes and grab supplies. “Baby’s great.” He cringes at how bad you sound. If you feel as bad as you sound he’s genuinely astounded by how you’re taking care of a now ten-month old while being so sick. “Me, not so much. You said to call and I… I didn’t want to and I know this is so unfair, but I don’t have anyone else and I could just really really use an hour to get a shower and tidy a few things up.”

You need more than an hour to shower and tidy up, you need to sleep for as long as you can, Jack thinks to himself. “Text me your address.” 

There’s a beat of silence. “You sure?” You ask him, give him an out. 

“Positive. I’ll be there as soon as I can, okay? Within the hour.” 

“Okay.” It’s so quiet he almost misses it. “Thank you.” 

“Of course. Text me, okay?”

“Yeah.” You hang up and do so. 

Jack stops by the hospital before he comes over, grabs a couple bags of saline, a couple of banana bags, and a few IV kits, tosses them in his backpack. Tells a raised eyebrows and confused Robby to tell Gloria to bill him for it and he’ll bill the hospital for the use of his supplies and tech during Pitt Fest before walking out. 

Then he stops by a grocery store, picks up some food and over the counter meds and then he’s on his way to you. 

The knock on your door startles you even though you know it’s just Jack. You open it and his eyebrows raise as he takes you in. You look like death warmed up. Maybe not quite that bad but Jack’s judgment of that is skewed because it’s you and he doesn’t like seeing you sick he has decided. 

“Hi,” you whisper as he walks in. “He’s down in his room, if you wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on the monitor while I shower and then I’d really love to just tidy up a bit.” You move your hand to reference your living room and kitchen, both visible with the open floor plan. “It’s a mess. I’m sorry about that too, it’s normally not this bad.” 

Jack takes the space in. It’s not even that bad. It’s very sick single mom with a baby. Not dirty, just cluttered. He notes the sparse decoration, wonders if you moved after your husband died. “It’s really not that bad,” he tells you softly and takes the baby monitor from you. “Come here.” 

He steps towards you and you freeze, not sure of what to do. He just raises his hand and puts the back of it to your forehead. Jack flashes you a concerned look. “You’re burning up. Easily 102.”

You try to laugh it off but it just triggers a coughing fit. “I’m fine, it’s okay-”

“No,” Jack says firmly. “It’s really not.” He walks over to your couch and sets his bag down, slides the baby monitor into the pocket of his jeans. He pulls out a forehead thermometer and nods at the couch, asking you to sit down. 

You hesitate for a second, feel like this is too much and he’s doing too much and you should say he can leave, that he should go. But instead you go and sit on the couch. 

Jack scans your forehead and frowns when he looks at it. “102.8.” His eyes flick to yours and he can see you going to say something, and he knows it’ll be something like you’re fine or it’ll come down. “Look,” he turns the thermometer around so you can see the reading. “The light is red. There’s a frowning face. So please don’t say it’s okay and you’re okay.” His words are firm but compassionate and he isn’t condescending at all. 

“Well, once you leave if he’s still asleep, I’ll try to grab some rest.” You give him a weak smile. “Promise.” 

“Oh no,” Jack shakes his head. “No way. If I wasn’t a doctor and didn’t have supplies with me, you’d be going to the ED.” He starts looking through his bag. 

“Jack, this is really nice of you but unnecessary.” His eyes snap back to yours when he hears his name come off your tongue. He likes it. Too much. You said no, that you weren’t ready. But Jack can’t help how he feels, only on how he acts on those feelings. 

He ignores your protests. “Plan of care is to have you shower if you’d like. Cool, please. And then I’m going to give you some meds, get an IV in you and a banana bag going and you’re going to go sleep.”

“I, I really think just a shower and some tidying will help me feel much better.” Another half hearted protest. It feels good to have someone want to take care of you. To have a man want to take care of you. To have Jack want to take care of you. Those are all feelings you haven’t felt in a while, and they’re from Jack Abbot. And a piece of you hates yourself for that, especially when your eyes wander to the folded American flag displayed on a shelf. 

Jack tracks your eyes to it. “I’m not trying to overstep,” he starts to explain, “just, you’re a lot sicker than you think.”

“No, no, I know that, and you’re not, I’m just not used to it.” You try to find the word but it’s hard. “The attention, I guess. Or maybe the help. Pregnancy and labor and birth and coming home with a newborn while recovering were all alone, so it’s just… strange.” 

Jack shuts his eyes and lets out a breath. His heart hurts because he knows what that kind of alone feels like. He knows how hard it can be to survive and live with. And he’s never had to experience alone everything that you have. He hates that you were alone. He’s even more in awe of you, honestly, that you were able to. There’s a sense of pride too, one he knows he has no business having. 

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, I really don’t-”

“I know that, Jack, I promise and you’re not, I’m just.” You shake your head and look away for a second. “A mess,” you laugh softly, manage to not trigger a coughing fit. 

Jack shakes his head a little. “You’re sick.” 

You shrug, take in as deep a breath as you can. “Okay,” you nod. He knows you’re acquiescing in his treatment plan. 

“Good.” Jack pulls his stethoscope out of his bag. “You mind if I listen to your lungs before you shower? Just to have a before and try to get a read on what it might be.” 

You nod at him. Jack places his stethoscope on your chest, is careful to hold it so that his hand doesn’t come into contact with you because he knows he already expressed interest and that you’re not ready and the last thing he wants is for you to think he’s using this as some weird chance to touch you or make you uncomfortable. “Deep breath.” 

Jack walks you through all the deep breaths he needs, frowning to himself a bit and not pressuring you when the deep breaths trigger your cough and he has to wait a minute to continue. The first time it happens his other hand automatically raises to go and rub your back but he catches it in time.

You don’t acknowledge it, don’t want to draw attention to it and in part don’t know how to react to it but you appreciate it more than he’ll ever know. He’s a gentleman. It’s nice and you really try to let yourself have that and let it feel nice without berating yourself over it feeling nice. But something feeling nice is so foreign and somehow feels so wrong. Like nothing should ever feel nice again because your husband isn’t here. 

“Yeah, those are junky,” he mutters as he puts his stethoscope back in his bag. “Wish I had brought a breathing treatment for you.” He looks like he’s thinking about how he could get one here. He pulls his focus back. “Shower?” 

You nod, stand up and start walking towards your room. “Hey Jack?” Jack looks up at you with raised eyebrows, body tensing just slightly like he’s ready to run towards you. “Thank you. And um, make yourself at home and help yourself to anything. I don’t know how much there is, but what’s there is yours.” You give a little nod and turn and walk off before he can say anything. 

Once he hears the shower running Jack takes a better look at the place. He finds it strange how certain parts feel like you but the overall place doesn’t in a way. It feels like someone scared to settle in, scared to make this space their own. It feels like his first apartment after his wife died did for a long time. 

He starts to tidy up, it’s really nothing major. He puts toys in the little toy bin you have, places the baby books on the floor on the bottom storage space of the table. He picks up the baby blankets and onesies laying around that he’s guessing need washed, sets them in a pile on a counter. He does the same kind of stuff in the kitchen, just picks up, wipes down. Again, nothing is dirty. It’s lived in. It’s a sick single mom with a baby who sets down an empty water bottle or paper plate and forgets to throw it away. He loads the dishwasher with the bottles and few plates and utensils in the sink. He’s not sure if what’s in there is clean or dirty but it’s fine, if it’s clean it can just get washed again. He waits to start it though, makes a note to do so later once you’re out of the shower and the hot water has had time to build back up just in case your water heater isn’t great.  

You let yourself stand under the water for longer than you probably should. You try to keep it cool like Jack said, but at some point right before you get out you let it get really, hot, just need to feel it, feel a little sterilized almost. You think about how Jack is here and doing all of this for you and what would your husband think and does this make you a bad wife. You try to get yourself to believe that your husband would be happy you’re getting help, would be happy Jack is a veteran and that you’re not a bad wife because your husband told you he wanted you to move on and find someone and it’s not like it happened yesterday. It’s been over a year. 

Once you’re out you slip on some modest pajamas, deal with your hair and put some lotion on your face, brush your teeth. You feel a little better, only because you feel clean, but still. 

Jack gives you some time once he hears the shower turn off. After a bit he knocks on your door and clears his throat. “Hey, um, I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to start the IV out here in the living room or in your room.” 

Your chest clenches for a moment. You hadn’t even really thought about what it would mean for him to start it in here, just kind of assumed he’d come in and do it. But it means there would be another man in your bedroom. A man who is not your husband. 

He gives you a moment to decide because he knows the magnitude of the question he asked. 

You’re at war with yourself, but you know it’ll be better to have him do it here and have him figure out a way to get the bag to hang. “Um, you can do it in here, I guess. Unless you’d prefer to do it out there.” 

“Wherever is best for you.” There’s a pause as Jack waits for you to come over and open the door. You’re so zoned out sitting on the edge of your bed you don’t even realize. “Should I come in?” He finally asks gently. 

“Oh! Oh yes!” The way you breathe in at surprise and almost startle at having your zoned out thoughts interrupted makes you start coughing, so Jack slowly opens the door, trying to give you time to change your mind, walks in and over to you with his supplies just as slowly. 

He sets some stuff out next to you. “Shower help?” He cringes internally the moment he says it, hopes it doesn’t make it seem like he was thinking about you in the shower. 

“Yeah. Feeling clean has helped I think.” You watch as he gets everything ready. He has big hands, long and thick fingers that should make working with small pieces of medical equipment a bit difficult but they’re so dexterous and he has so much control over them that it’s not. Once you catch yourself daydreaming about his hands you look away, shame and guilt washing over you. 

“Take these, please,” Jack says softly, handing you a few pills and holding an open bottle of water. You nod and do as he asks. “Good gi-” He stops before he can finish, some pink flooding his cheeks. It’s adorable, you think. He’s adorable and he’s trying so hard to respect you and just be here as a friend helping you out. You also think about the reaction you know you’d have had if he finished the sentence. More shame and guilt. 

“How do you sleep?” Jack asks as he finishes setting the supplies for an IV up and kneels in front of you. You furrow your brows at him. “So I can put the IV in a good spot!” He rushes to explain. “Like if you sleep on your side I’ll put it on the top arm.” 

“Oh.” You think about it and tell him. 

“Hand please.” He points to the correct one and you offer him it. “Hands hurt more but it’ll be the best for sleeping. I’m sorry you’re stuck with me doing it.” He pulls a pair of gloves on. They fit nice and tight. Once he gets a tourniquet in a slip knot nice and tight around your arm he has you make a fist. 

You shake your head at him as you watch those long and dexterous fingers run over and feel the back of your hand a veins beneath your skin. Satisfied he found a good one he opens the alcohol swab and wipes the back of your hand, lets it dry for ten or so seconds while he grabs the needle introducer. He feels for the vein again and looks up at you. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” You nod at him. 

He’s quick with it. You like the expression of intense focus he gets as he does it. “Okay,” he draws the word out a little, slips off the tourniquet. “Needle is out,” he places a tegaderm dressing over it, “and we’re good.” He looks up at you. “You okay?”

“Barley felt it,” you murmur. 

Jack gives a little laugh. “It’s okay, you can be honest. My pride can take it.” You just give him a look. “I’m gonna flush it. Some burning and maybe a weird taste.” He doesn’t explain much, knows you almost certainly had one when you gave birth. 

He does and then stands up, looks around near the head of your bed. “I think I still have a really old coat rack in the spare room,” you volunteer, knowing he’s looking for a way to hang the bag. 

“That would be perfect,” he nods at you. 

“Second door on the left when you walk out.”

Jack steps out. He already knew that through process of elimination but he doesn’t tell you that. He went to the bathroom while you were in the shower, placing his ear by each door to figure out which room was the nursery. Left one room to be the spare room. 

He brings it in and gets it set up. You offer him a hanger to place the bag on and he smiles at you. You give him a little one back. 

Jack puts on a different pair of gloves and sanitizes everything before spiking the bag and priming the line. He hooks it up to your IV and sets the drip rate, keeps it fast enough to get what you need into you but slow enough so that you hopefully won’t have to wake up to go to the bathroom for a while because he knows you’ll likely fight going back to sleep. 

“You need something to help you sleep?” He asks, a touch of concern in his tone. 

“I think I’ll manage.” You give him another weak smile. 

“Figured,” he nods. He grabs everything off the bed making sure to keep track of where the used needle is and then walks to your door. “Rest well.” He nods at you again and then steps out, closes the door behind him quietly. 

You let yourself settle into bed, feel your heart slam against your chest with every beat as emotions whirl through you. Guilt, for having some kind of feelings towards Jack, for asking Jack to do this, for not being there with your son, shame, grief, embarrassment, anger at yourself for quite literally everything, and the faintest glimmers of hope, happiness, contentedness and a kind of longing which are all new and in turn fill you with fear. 

You’re right though, you do manage to fall asleep. And fast. There are a few times you think you hear your son crying but it stops quickly so you don’t fully wake up. Another few times where you swear you hear someone in the room with you and them whisper “it’s just me, go back to sleep,” when they notice you stirring. If they’re real you let yourself listen to them and drift back asleep. 

Jack is surprised at how long you sleep. He thought for sure with all the fluids he has been giving you that you’d wake up to go to the bathroom, but that must be how tired you are. He lets you sleep. You need it. And for whatever reason he really, really cares about you and doesn’t like seeing you sick. It worries him, if he’s honest with himself. Seeing you sick. He worries about you. 

When you do wake up it is because you have to pee. You turn the lamp on to get there and close your eyes and flinch away from it until they adjust more. It starts to come back. The IV. Jack. Jack watching your son. You grab the bag of saline and go to the bathroom before walking out of your room. You have to stop at the doorway because it’s so fucking bright, let your eyes adjust. 

It makes you realize how fucked up your sense of time is. You have no idea how long you were out and you hope you hadn’t been keeping Jack a prisoner in your place for too long. 

When you walk into the living room Jack is on the floor with your son, some soft blocks knocked over the floor, your son on his back and cooing up at Jack, giggling like babies do at Jack every time Jack leans down over him and tickles his belly with one of Jack’s large hands and makes a funny noise at him. There’s a dirty diaper on the floor next to Jack, empty bottle on the table. 

“You slept well, didn’t you little man?” Jack sits him up and keeps a hand on him, your son pretty good at sitting up by himself but still getting the full hang of it. Small hands reach out for Jack, trying to pull him close. “Oh yeah, and now you’ve had a bottle and have even more energy to burn, huh?” Your son giggles again as Jack takes him into his lap as he straightens his legs and rests your son’s feet on one of his thighs so that he can bounce as Jack supports him to keep him standing. 

It’s the cutest scene. It’s so adorable your heart aches. It’s all you ever wanted for your son. And that’s why your heart shatters at the same time. Because your son doesn’t have it. Not normally. Your son doesn’t have a father. You don’t have a husband, the person you should be doing this with. This scene is a total one-off, a byproduct of you being sick and needing help. You appreciate Jack and all he’s done and how he’s being with your son but that’s supposed to be your husband. 

That’s supposed to be your fucking husband on the floor with your son and it’s not. 

It’s Jack. 

It’s Jack and you don’t hate it. 

Quite the opposite. You like the sight. Would like to see it again. Would like to see Jack again. And that makes you feel a little sick and a lot guilty. But you don’t stop liking it or wanting to see it and Jack again. You tell yourself you don’t though, that you don’t want to see it again and don’t want to see Jack again. You lie to yourself. The turmoil threatens to tear you in two. 

You wipe a few tears away silently and then sniffle to announce your presence. You can get away with it because you’re sick. “Hey,” you say softly, make a face and try to clear your throat. “I’m sorry I feel like I probably slept longer than I meant to.” Clearing your throat didn’t help. You still sound awful, your voice totally going. 

Your son squeals when he sees you, arms reaching for you already. You smile down at him. “Hi baby,” you greet him in the best voice you can manage, grab him from Jack. “How’s my boy?” You tickle his tummy because you don’t want to kiss him and get him sick and it makes him squeal again and babble at you. 

Jack stands up and you notice there’s something off about the way he does, just slightly. You wonder if he suffered a back or hip injury while serving. He clamps the saline bag all the way and removes it from your IV so that you’re free. “What time is it? I hope I haven’t kept you here too long.” 

Jack looks at his watch. “9:17.”

You blink at him for a moment. The sun filtering in through the curtains assures you he means in the morning. You make a face like you’re trying to pour through past memories. “What time did I make you come over? It must have been so early, I, I didn’t even realize I’m so sorry.” 

Jack smiles as he steps around you and goes to set the bag on the counter, throw the diaper away and the bottle in the sink. He turns back around and leans against the counter, holds onto the edge of it with his hands. He already knows you’re going to freak out. 

“First, you didn’t make me come over yesterday. Pretty hard for anyone to make me do something anymore. Second, I got here sometime around 4.” Your confusion deepens. “P.m. Yesterday.” 

“Yesterday?” You look at him, stricken. “Oh my god, Jack, I am so so sorry! You should have woken me! I genuinely never meant to steal this much time from you and keep you hostage here, I am so sorry, I-”

“Hey, hey,” he steps closer to you but doesn’t touch you. “It’s okay. You have nothing to be apologizing for. I know I could have woken you and I never felt hostage here. I was okay with it.” He gives you a reassuring smile. 

You shake your head at him a little. “God, where did you even sleep? That awful couch? I know how bad it is, I’m so- I feel terrible.” 

“Don’t,” Jack laughs softly. “I promise you I have slept on much, much worse. How are you feeling?”

“I don’t…” You trail off because you haven’t really stopped to evaluate that. “Better I guess. Still sick but not as bad, at all.” 

“Good.” He takes another step closer and holds his hand up, gestures to your forehead. “Can I?”

You nod, still lost in thought and shocked about how you could have slept that long. “Good, fever’s still down. It broke during the night.” Your son reaches for Jack’s hand, one of his small hands wrapping around one of Jack’s large fingers. Jack lets him keep it and play with it, but steps back a little. “Shit, I promise I only went in there to change your bag and take your temperature with the thermometer.”

“No, no,” you shake your head. You hadn’t even thought to care about him coming into your room when you were asleep, hadn’t even realized that could be a line he might have crossed. “I just feel so bad.”   

“Please try not to.”

“I have to, you have to let me at least make you breakfast or something! You just watched my baby overnight for me.” You nod. “Yeah, let me make you breakfast, please.” 

“I’d like that,” Jack nods slowly, face pulling into a knowing look with a little smile because you’re adorable and going to be upset. “But I don’t think that’s going to work,” he shakes his head and then gently nods at the refrigerator. You know there must be nothing in it.

“Fuck,” you sigh. You turn your head and rest your cheek on the top of your son’s head as you try and think. He continues to coo and babble away, at Jack now, whose finger he still holds on tight to. Jack makes a little face of surprise and noise at him and your son laughs.

“Let me order something then, yeah?” You offer. You watch as Jack argues with himself in his head. Part of him wants to say no, he should get it for you, for no real reason other than he wants to take care of you, and part of him wants to say yes because he knows it’ll make you feel better. “Please.”

“Alright,” he finally nods.

“Okay, great!” You start looking around for your phone and find it plugged in and charging. It hits you then. How clean and tidy the place is. “Oh my god,” you mumble. 

“What?” The alarm in his voice is clear. 

“You cleaned.” You look around more. A laundry basket of folded onesies and blankets and other baby clothes on the loveseat. “You did laundry.” 

The realization sends you over some ledge you didn’t realize you were standing on. Your heart races. Your feelings are too conflicted. There’s too much turmoil. You know this is normal, have read about it, spoken to other widows who described what it was like to start dating again, start falling for someone. And you’re really starting to personally get it now. 

You don’t know what to do with it. And you know you’re not ready for it. But you can’t lie about it to yourself anymore and pretend that Jack doesn’t give you new feelings that you haven’t had in a long time and that you don’t want to let yourself feel them or at least try. Can’t lie to yourself that you don’t want to try and be ready for it. 

“I’m sorry if that was too much,” Jack says quietly, unsure of what exactly your reaction means. While he’s also a widow it’s a bit harder for him to put himself in your shoes. He didn’t have a baby to need help with while trying to grieve and find a new normal. 

“No, it’s not that.” Tears hit your eyes and you close them, hate that they’re happening. It’s the emotional overwhelm you tell yourself. The having someone do something nice for you. The having to accept help. The new feelings. So many new feelings from one man. 

But you know yourself well enough to know that it’s also the wanting, despite how much you try to bury it and lie to yourself. The wanting to let yourself give in to those new feelings. Wanting to let yourself enjoy the new feelings. Enjoy Jack. 

“Let me,” you hear Jack whisper, feel his hands get closer to you to grab your son who laughs in excitement at the prospect of being in Jack’s arms. 

You keep your eyes closed and then turn before you open them, walk over to get a tissue and dab at them. “It wasn’t too much.” You’re speaking to Jack but keep your back to him because you’re not sure how you’ll react if you turn around and look at him. “It’s just really hard. Everything is so fucking hard. Every second of every day is an emotion, every second requires feeling.” Jack understands that one too well. “And you get used to that. The emotions, the feelings become familiar. Because they’re constant. You know what they are, what to expect. You know the feelings. They hurt so, so bad, but eventually you realize that not having them would hurt more. Would be scarier. Because they’re your normal, they fill that void in your heart. What would you be without them almost controlling your life? And then one day a new emotion, a new feeling creeps in. And it’s paralyzing. You think it hurts worse in some way than not having the familiar feelings would, but you don’t know because you never get a second to not fucking feel. And it’s because it’s new and you don’t know what to do with this new feeling and it throws everything off and is another change and because it almost always feels so wrong, to let yourself feel something new, especially if it’s a good emotion. And I know you know this Jack, I know you know exactly how I feel, exactly what it’s like. I know you get me. I know you understand. And I like that. I think part of me needs that. To move on or whatever you want to call it.”

Jack’s heart rate ticks up. This is not at all where he thought this conversation was headed. 

You take in a deep breath and squeeze the tissue in your hand before turning to look at the unfairly attractive and smart and funny and caring and playful and stoic and dry humored and witty and kind doctor holding your son. 

“You make me feel so many new things Jack. So many things I never thought I’d feel again. So many things I swore to myself I would never feel again.” You swallow hard. “And I don’t know what to do with them. They paralyze me. Not for long because they send me straight back to guilt and shame and grief, right back to those familiar feelings. I don’t know how to have these new feelings you give me anymore. At some point I lost that. So I don’t know how to handle it. How to handle you.”

Jack’s numb. Frozen. He’s not sure what this means. He understands you because the first time he started dating and was attracted to someone he’d gone through the same thing. It was hard at first. To not feel guilty. To not revert back to the emotions you know well. He’s not sure what to say. He goes to say that he’s sorry and didn’t mean to cause you distress and will go but you start talking again. 

“But fuck Jack, I want to. I didn’t want to admit it to myself because it feels so wrong and because it’s scary and hard and makes me feel like a terrible wife sometimes. But I do. I want to know how to handle you and all the new feelings you give me, Jack.” His eyebrows raise slowly, his focus staying on you as your son starts to mouth on his finger getting saliva all over it, not phased in the slightest. “It’s just going to take time. I don’t know how much time. And I don’t think it’s fair of me to ask to wait for some unknown period of time.” 

“You’re not asking,” Jack says quickly before you can get out another sentence. “You’re not asking me to. I want to. But only if you want me to. You said that you weren’t ready, and I respect that. And you have to know that I didn’t come over here to help, or do laundry or tidy up because I was trying to pressure you or make you feel something or make you be ready or for anything other than just to help as a kind-of friend. You have to promise me that you know that.” 

“I do,” you tell him softly. “I promise.” You give a small laugh and little smile. “I think that’s actually the part that made me realize I couldn’t keep lying to myself that you didn’t give me new feelings and that I didn’t want to feel them. That I know you came here just because you wanted to help, help me, my son and my husband. And I know you did the laundry and tidied and stayed overnight to watch my baby so I could sleep just because you’re kind, and you saw it needed done so you did it, which is so army of you by the way, and not because you wanted it to mean something or make me feel bad for not being ready or pressure me or any other possible reason. You just… wanted to help.”

Jack smiles at that. Really, fully smiles and fuck if it isn’t one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen. You smile back at him. It’s clear that nothing more needs to be said. You both know that you’ll work on being ready and learn how to feel and how to handle it all and Jack will wait. 

“I never said I was army.” He smirks at you. 

“Didn’t have to.” You give him a small smile. Even after this you’re still so shy. 

You go and grab your phone. “What does that mean?” He asks, tracking you with his eyes. 

“What would you like to eat?” You ignore him. You know already that it’ll wind him up. 

“No, what does that mean? I have a tell?” You shrug at him. He narrows his eyes at you playfully.

“No,” you say as you hand him your phone so he can pick something and order and take your son from him. “It means you have a recognizable backpack.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time goes on. You get better. You and Jack grow closer. You keep going to therapy, keep working on processing and figuring out how to handle the new feelings, how to stop feeling so guilty. Jack waits. Patiently. Never an ounce of pressure on you. He’s always so respectful, goes to great lengths to be so, immediately apologizes if he oversteps. And he does a couple of times because he’s human and nobody is perfect. But it’s okay.  

Jack’s injury comes out over breakfast that morning when he apologizes for having his shoes on in the house. You hadn’t even really noticed, too sick for it to register. He doesn’t tell you much about it which you respect and he’s grateful when you don’t push for more. That’s something he guesses he’s not ready for with you. Isn’t sure why though. He brings it up with his therapist. 

Jack is over more and more often. At first it’s to check on you and make sure you’re getting better because your cough lingers. And then somewhere along the lines it just became a thing. Normal. Normal for you to see him more days than not during the week. Normal for him to put your son down for the night. Normal for him to sleep in the spare room. Normal for him to cook for you and help feed your son. Normal for him to keep spare bottles of toiletries in a bin under the guest bathroom sink. Normal for black scrubs that didn’t get god knows what on them to be washed with onesies and blankets. 

Normal for him to bring five epi pens, multiple vials of epi, syringes with needles, an infant intubation kit and a cric kit to your house when you decide to introduce peanuts to your son. 

That one had gotten him an attempted, and skillfully dodged, third degree interrogation from Dana and Robby. 

You don’t touch. Not at all, save when your fingers brush if you hand each other something or when you take your son from him or vice versa. You’ll sit on the couch and Jack on the loveseat. There’s no flirting. It’s not that the attraction and draw to each other has faded, because it hasn’t. Not at all. It’s that you both know you need time and you both respect that. Jack perhaps more so than yourself, because you get mad at yourself about it sometimes. 

You do talk. A lot. About anything and everything because talking to each other is easy. It’s not work. Neither of you have to think of things to talk about or try and come up with something to keep the conversation going. It just does. And when it dies down the lull is comfortable. Then someone thinks of something or sees something on TV and it’s back. 

Eventually Jack is able to tell you a bit more about his injury, how it happened. The aftermath. He’s able to take his prosthetic off in front of you and leave a pair of crutches at your place for when he doesn’t want to put it back on. 

You talk about your spouses. Your therapist suggested it, thought it may help, to acknowledge both of your spouses and know about them. You approach Jack about it and tell him you don’t want an answer right away, you want him to really think about it and if he’s ready for that and willing to do that, and that he doesn’t have to say yes and that if he says no nothing will change. Both of you are aware it’s in a sense one of the most intimate things you’ll ever do with each other. 

Jack says yes though. And means it. He’s okay with it, comfortable with it. So one night after you get your son down you take the baby monitor, a bottle of wine and sit out on your apartment balcony and talk about them. You tell each other about them, what they were like, things they liked and disliked, funny stories. Jack tells you how he proposed and you tell him how your husband proposed. You talk about your weddings. 

You share photos you have on your phone, of your spouses alone and of the two of you together. You tell Jack his wife was beautiful, seems like an amazing woman who kept him on his toes and mean it. Jack tells you that your husband was handsome and knew how lucky he was to have you, that it’s obvious by the way he looks at you in the photos. You smile wistfully and get misty eyed together. But it’s nice, getting to know the other’s spouse, more about your past lives. It tells you a lot about each other too, as much as it does about your spouses.

You talk about how you each learned your spouse had died. There’s proper tears during that part, from both of you. It’s one time you do touch, and it’s brief, and you’re the one to initiate it, tentatively taking Jack’s hand and giving it a little squeeze when he gets a bit choked up. He squeezes back to let you know he’s okay with it. When you get choked up talking about your husband he holds his hand out over the armrest of his chair, just a little, just enough for you to know it’s there. You move yours over and let him squeeze your hand. 

You talk about moving after your spouses died. Jack tells you he just couldn’t do it. He needed space that was his own, where he couldn’t picture her in it and so he couldn’t expect to walk around a corner and see her. You tell Jack that you had to keep the curtain of the living room window closed all the time because the last time you looked out the window you saw that car pull up and two uniformed officers step out of the car, and just knew. And it made the place so dark it was bad for you so you sold the house and found this place. You admit that you haven’t been able to bring yourself to really unpack completely or decorate but aren’t sure why. The nursery being the only exception. Jack tells you that it actually reminds him a lot of how his apartment he moved into right after his wife died looked for a long time because he was scared to settle in and make a space without her because that wasn’t supposed to happen, he wasn’t supposed to have to do that. 

As more weeks pass you start asking Jack to help you hang things. At first it sends you flying backwards in your healing because you just asked another man to help you decorate your apartment. Jack doesn’t say anything for the couple of days you’re off with him because he knows and he knows you’ll work through it. He gives you the space you need without you asking for it. You work through it with your therapist and apologize to Jack who tells you not to, that healing isn’t linear, trust him, he knows. 

Jack watches your son for you sometimes during a string of off days so that he can spend a bit less time at daycare, especially if another kid is sick. Your son loves Jack, is enamored with him. And Jack is just as enamored with him. Is so incredibly good with him. It’s a place where you struggle a lot and that you and you and your therapist discuss frequently, how to cope with seeing Jack in that kind of fatherly role and acknowledge all the feelings it stirs up for you. 

One Monday, a holiday that you were supposed to have off, something comes up and you need to go into the office, but daycare is closed. You hesitate calling Jack because you feel bad asking him to do this, especially knowing he’ll be getting off shift and you’re asking him to stay awake even longer. You don’t even know if he’ll be able to, he might not get off on time, or he might have plans. But you call him much quicker and more decisively than you did when you were sick. 

Jack’s talking to Robby when he feels his phone vibrate. He thinks it’s weird to be getting called at 6:45 a.m. so he pulls it out to check. His heart drops when he sees it’s you and he walks away from Robby mid sentence. 

“Hey,” he answers on the second ring, “what’s up? Everyone okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah we’re fine. It’s just, work needs me to come in, not for too long, just a couple of hours, but I can’t bring him and daycare is closed with the holiday and I know this is such a huge ask because you’re getting off shift and will be so tired and I don’t even know if you’re getting off on time-” 

“Woah, woah,” Jack stops you. “Take a breath.” He can hear you do as he says. “I can watch him, okay? I’ll make sure I get off on time. And I often stay late so being up a few hours after my shift before he goes down is not going to be anything new.” 

“Okay. Yeah, okay.” You let out a breath. “You still have to let me cook or something for you.” 

“You don’t have to repay me.” 

“No I know, but still.” 

“Can I be honest with you?” Jack asks. 

“Of course.” Your heart races because you have no idea what he’s about to say. 

“You can buy me takeout. But you can’t cook.” You can hear the smile in his voice. 

You make a noise of offence. “I can’t believe you just said that! I’m offended. Genuinely offended.” But Jack can hear the smile you’re trying to hide in your voice and it just makes him smile harder to himself. 

“That I said it or that it’s true?” He’s smirking now. 

You huff and then there’s a pause. “That it’s true,” you admit begrudgingly, making Jack laugh. 

Robby has blindly swatted at Dana’s arm to get her to pay attention so that he doesn’t have to stop watching and so now both of them are staring and watching Jack go from extreme concern to laughing and smiling. It’s almost disconcerting. 

“I’m going to have to drop him off at the hospital to make it on time. Is that okay?” You’ve gotten quiet again. 

“Yeah.” Jack sounds a little unsure but not because of you, because of the two he can feel staring at him. “I’ll need a key. And I’ll give it back, I promise.” 

“Oh! Yes. You will need that, okay I’ll have to find the spare. And yeah, that’s fine, whatever is fine, I know you’re not going to use it randomly.” You breathe a laugh. “You’ll be okay with holding him on the subway? I wasn’t going to lug around the stroller, if that’s okay.” 

“We will be more than okay,” Jack assures you. 

“Okay.” You let out another breath in that way you do when you’re stressed but coming down Jack has learned. “Thank you Jack.” 

“Not a problem, you know that.” 

“Yeah, but still.”

“Text me when you’re here and come wait by the doors, I’ll open them for you, okay?” You’re thankful he doesn’t dwell. 

“Okay. I’ll see you soon. Bye.”

“Bye.” Jack hangs up and puts his phone in his pocket then turns and walks back over to Robby and Dana. 

“Everything okay?” Dana asks. 

Jack looks between the both of them. “Yeah. I’m leaving on time though.” 

“Ohhh,” Robby laughs. “Are you now? You just decided?” 

“Yeah. Did you notice how it wasn’t a question Michael?” Jack deadpans. “Just a statement of fact. I know these are big distinctions for you to make before you’ve had enough coffee.” 

“Deflection,” Robby hums, leaning forward a bit and still smiling like he can’t believe any of this even when he doesn’t know what this really is. 

Jack rolls his eyes at him and walks to a different computer to finish charting. Dana and Robby share a look but don’t push him. For now. 

Jack’s phone vibrates fifteen minutes later. You, saying you’re here. He walks over to the doors and pushes the button to open them, walks in with you a few steps, your son already happily squealing and babbling at Jack, reaching for him. Jack makes a surprised happy face at your son like he’s shocked to see him and takes him from you. 

Back at the desk Robby slowly removes his glasses as he watches the scene unfold, Dana peering over the top of hers like she does, everyone else slowly freezing once they follow Dana and Robby’s eyes to you and Jack.

“God, thank you so much Jack, I’m so so sorry.” You look stressed, frenetic and full of nervous energy that makes you even more unsure of yourself, not unlike the last time he saw you in here. He finds it adorable, so endearing.

“It’s okay. Truly. You’re going to have to believe me one day.” Jack gives you a small but reassuring smile. 

“No I know,” you breathe out. “I just… This is your work, I know. And I know you’re going to get a million questions based on the entire desk of people staring at us.” You shake your head a little as you try to find words. “And I know it’s hard to explain.” 

“Good job I don’t feel the need to explain it to any of them, then.” 

You laugh a little at that. “Yeah. Um, here.” You slide the backpack baby bag you have off and help put it on one of Jack’s shoulders. “There’s a key in the front pocket. He went down late last night and then I had to get him up early to get him ready to come here. Seeing you is the first time he’s smiled all morning. So he should probably nap earlier for you if I’m not home before then, and probably be pretty chill until he does.” 

“He’s always chill,” Jack smirks at you. “You know that.” 

“Let me make myself feel better, please,” you huff at him, clearly still flooded with nervous energy. 

“Alright,” he nods for you to continue but doesn’t lose his smirk. 

“He’s had a bottle, but that’s it, so he might be hungry when you get home, if he’s a little fussy.” You reach out and run your fingers through his soft baby fine hair to push it out of his eyes. “God he needs a haircut doesn’t he?” 

“Probably,” Jack nods. “But I’m sure-”

“That the thought of my baby needing his first haircut makes me want to sob because he’s growing up way too fast?” 

“Something like that,” he nods. 

“Yeah.” You run your hands through it and sweep it out of his eyes one last time, trying to calm some of the nervous energy that’s making you feel like you’re shaking. “Alright, I should go.” 

You lean up and kiss Jack on the cheek. By the time your feet return to the floor you’ve realized what you just did. 

Jack freezes, stunned, but not upset, not by any means.

“Oh my god,” you gasp quietly, holding your hands up in front of you to the side. “I just did that. Right here.” You close your hands into fists decisively, incredulous at yourself. “Okay, well,” you titter, “I’ve gotta go now, so thank you again so much, and let me know you guys make it home okay, and I’ll let you know when I’m on my way back.” You nod at a still stunned Jack, who then finally starts to relax a bit and lets a smile start to pull up. “Great. Okay.” You lean in and kiss your son’s face. “Bye baby, be good for Jack okay?” You give your son another kiss and pull back, immediately back to your nervous and incredulous demeanor. You pat Jack on the side of the arm holding your son and then cringe at the action. “Right,” you let out a breathy nervous laugh. “Bye.” You spin and walk to the doors and hit the button to be let out.

“Bye,” Jack calls back, still sounding a bit dazed. He takes a second and then looks down at your son who’s looking around the busy room and then looks up at him and smiles, grabs at his face. Jack laughs. “Yeah, bud,” Jack sighs, leans down and kisses the top of his head quickly, doesn’t even really realize he’s doing it, “you’re about to be the talk of the Pitt. We both are. And your mom.” He takes a deep breath in and looks down at your son and makes eye contact. “God help us all.” 

Jack turns and starts walking to the breakroom. He’d go to the lockers but he already knows what’s about to happen. “Not a word,” he says to Dana and Robby as he walks by. 

“Oh be for fuckin’ real Jack,” Dana laughs under her breath, already starting to follow him. 

“No, he’s right Dana, not a word,” Robby says as he starts to follow, “so, so many words.” 

Bridget walks up to the desk and looks at everyone quizzically. 

“A woman just came and dropped off a baby to Jack,” Princess tells her. 

After the words process a large smirk grows on Bridget’s face. “Oh did she now?” 

Jack sighs to himself as Robby and Dana follow him into the breakroom. He doesn’t want to do this but it’s borderline inescapable now and he’d rather it be here than out by the lockers. He slides the baby bag onto a chair. 

“First,” Dana says as she walks in, “let me see him!” She walks over holding her arms out to take your son from Jack. He leans into Jack for a couple of seconds, unsure, but then lets Dana take him. “Hello cutie! What’s your name?” Robby walks over to her and says a soft hi, gives your son his finger to hold onto while Robby looks him over, smiling at him as your son babbles some.

Jack tells her his name. “God, Jack, he is gorgeous. Look at that hair and those eyes!” 

She turns back to the baby in her arms. “Yeah, you’re handsome and you know it, don’t you? I bet you use it to get out of trouble sometimes, huh?” She winks at him. It makes him smile and giggle a little, as he drops Robby’s finger and brings a hand up to chew on. “Gettin’ more teeth in, are we?” Dana smiles at Jack as she rocks your son a little. 

“Yeah, I think so, he’s been real chewy and drooly the last two days,” Jack nods. 

“He yours?” Robby asks.

Jack’s head snaps to him. “What the fuck man?”

“Oh come on Jack, a random woman just showed up, gave you a baby, kissed your cheek and left. It’s not a far stretch. Nor is it a bad thing.” Dana looks at your son. “No it isn’t at all,” she says in a bit of a baby voice.

“And you’ve been different the last couple of months. I think you’ve only been up on the roof twice and even then you didn’t look like you were seriously considering jumping.” Robby points out.

“Oh my god,” Jack mutters under his breath. “No, he’s not mine.”

They both accept that. But it doesn’t quell their curiosity in the slightest. There’s a longer pause though, your son really the only one making noise as all three adults watch him. 

“Who is she?” Robby finally asks, looking up at Jack.

“Does it matter?” Jack shoots back quickly.

“I mean…” Robby laughs a little incredulously, “yeah, a little.” 

“Why?”

“Oh come on, Jack,” Robby draws out as he takes your son from Dana. “You’re telling me if a woman showed up and handed me a baby and kissed my cheek before walking out you wouldn’t have questions and want to know who she is? Or feel like who she is doesn’t matter?”

“Of course I would want to know, but who she was wouldn’t matter and if you didn’t want to say anything yet to keep things private I would respect that.” Jack raises his eyebrows at Robby and gives him a pointed look. 

“Jack, it doesn’t matter who she is really, if she’s in your life we’d just like to know. We want to support you and see you happy. And you clearly know and spend time with the kid, enough for mom to feel comfortable leaving him with you and to know he’s been teething for the last couple of days. You spending time at her house?”

Jack doesn’t answer for a moment but then finally gives in. “Yeah.” Dana’s eyebrows raise in an invitation for more. “Yes, I spend time at her house. I help her out. I sleep in her guest room sometimes, watch him some days. So what?”

“So she matters,” Dana smirks at him a little. “She matters and she kissed your cheek so clearly there’s something.” Jack grows a little more serious and Dana and Robby both know she just hit some sort of nerve there. “Who is she? Please. Let us be happy for you.” 

Jack takes in a big breath and looks at them for a second before resting his hands on his hips, slightly cocking one and looking down at the ground like he’s about to admit something. “My therapist.” He says it deadly serious and just loudly enough for them to hear. 

He doesn’t need to look up to know the expressions they’re wearing, but he does anyway because Robby’s face of incredulity and concern is too funny to miss. “Really?” Dana asks. 

“No!” Jack emphasizes the word with his head and a little brow furrow as he moves from his position to pace a little. “Of fucking course not! But thank you for this little exposé into what you think of me.”

“Hey, that’s why I asked,” Dana puts her hands up in defense. “I couldn’t believe it.”

“Yeah, you couldn’t,” Jack looks over at Robby, “but he sure the fuck could. And he knows my therapist is a man, we go to the same god damn one!”

“Well I didn’t know if you found a new one!” Robby says in his own defense. Jack rolls his eyes. “Are you gonna tell us? Anything? Or are we really wasting our time here?”

Jack stops pacing and sighs, looks at the baby boy in Robby’s arms. “It’s complicated,” he offers. 

“We deal with a lotta complicated here.” Dana reminds him. 

“Yeah well you’re not going to believe the truth,” he mutters. 

“Try us.” Robby looks at Jack with a little knowing smile and tilts his head before looking back down at your son and making faces at him to keep him entertained. 

Jack shakes his head a little and looks away as he tries to think about how to explain without giving away too much because he doesn’t want to totally destroy your privacy. “She’s a friend. Seriously. Just a friend who I help out because she’s a single mom with nobody in the area and she needs help sometimes. Her…” Jack debates on whether this reveals too much but it would explain to them why he’s so reticent to talk about you. “Her husband died while deployed. So, we have the widower widow thing in common and there was a kind of connection there, and yeah maybe it leads to more one day and maybe it doesn’t.” He shrugs at them. That’s all he’s going to say. 

There’s another moment of silence as everybody takes in what Jack just said, himself included.

“So this is what the five epi pens and vials of epi and infant intubation and cric kit were about. He’s who they were about.” Robby looks down at your son. “Yes. They were about you, weren’t they?”

“Oh, peanuts,” Dana nods, looking from your son to Jack, “you introduced peanuts after you brought it all home.” 

Jack just looks at the two of them and shakes his head. Some part of him wants to laugh at the way they went from pushing for information, to getting a little bit, to leaving it and not pushing for more and instead bringing up the supplies he took and fucking peanuts. He’s grateful for it. 

“Yeah, we did.” Robby and Dana’s eyes flash up at him and they both have little smirks. It hits him. “She did. She did, she introduced peanuts. To her son.” 

“With you there.” Robby’s smirk grows a little bit. “Ready to intubate.” 

“I think it’s very sweet,” Dana says, smiling at him. 

“I think we need to get home before his mom calls in a panic. I said I’d leave on time and text her when we’re home, so.” He walks over to Robby and opens his arms, your son all but launching himself at Jack, making all three laugh. 

“He’s certainly a big fan,” Robby smirks. 

“Of course he is, he has excellent taste already. Though he liked you, so we might have to have a chat when we get home about why our standards are falling.” He says it in his typical deadpan demeanor. 

“I was being nice and then you ruined it.” Robby throws a hand up at him. 

Jack picks up the baby bag and slings it over his shoulder. “I didn’t ruin it, I spoke the truth.”

“You’re so mean to me.” Robby looks over at Dana as they all move towards the door. “He’s so mean to me.” 

“I am not mean to you.” Jack replies, stepping out of the door. 

“A little bit,” Dana agrees with Robby. 

“Thank you!”

“But he’s a little bit mean to you too, so it all evens out.” 

Robby scoffs. “I’m not mean to him!” 

“Just like I’m not mean to you.” Jack walks towards the lockers with your son. Robby and Dana stop at the desk, giving looks to everyone to tell them to go back to work. 

Jack swings by his locker and grabs his backpack. He pins it against the lockers with one hip so he can open it enough to shove the baby bag in it and zip it back up. “Alright bud, you ready?” He glances down to check on your son. Your son gives a little smile and then lets his head fall against the front of Jack’s shoulder, almost like he’s shy. Jack has to laugh a little as he walks back by the desk. 

“We’re out,” he announces to everyone, finding the way they all glance up and try not to look shocked or stare funny. “Say bye!” He says to your son, picks his little hand up and waves it. Your son smiles for a second before turning his head away, shying away from the attention. 

Jack looks at Robby and Dana. “Thank you.” He doesn’t have to elaborate. They know what he’s thanking them for. 

The two make it home easily and without incident. Jack texts you to let you know. 

J - Made it home and are having breakfast. 

He includes a picture of your son in his highchair eating some pancakes Jack made for him. When you get it the photo makes your heart squeeze, your boys. 

The world stops for a second and you get a little dizzy when you realize what you just thought. Your boys. 

Jack is not your boy. He’s not yours in any capacity. And that thought is one you know you would have had about your husband and son. That panic comes back, the intense shame and guilt. You try to think back on all you and your therapist have talked about, try to convince yourself that it’s okay. That it’s okay to have that thought. 

That it’s okay to like the thought and even to want the thought. 

You’re able to handle it much better than you were before and you know that means something. That you’re closer to being ready.

Once you’re not so lightheaded from all the emotions you reply. 

You - Thank you.

It’s odd, Jack thinks as he reads it. Almost clipped. Three dots appear. 

You - I’m sorry about this morning and the cheek thing. I know we haven’t discussed anything like that and I don’t really know what happened for me there in the moment, so I’m sorry. And I hope you can forgive me. 

He’s quick to respond. 

J - You have nothing to apologize for, so there’s nothing to forgive. I didn’t mind it at all 

He smiles to himself a little, especially once three dots appear. But then they go away only to reappear a couple of seconds later to disappear again. Shit, he thinks to himself, was that wrong? Did it cross a line? Fuck, was it suggestive? 

He tries to think of what he can say to apologize and let you know that he really didn’t mean for it to be suggestive or pressuring or weird. But then a message from you. 

You - Well good. I didn’t either

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple of nights later you sit on the couch next to Jack. It’s the first time you’ve sat next to each other like this. Jack was not the one to instigate it of course. 

You decided to watch a movie together. It’s not the first time you’ve done that. Not the first time you’ve made popcorn without asking if he wanted any. It’s the first time you don’t split it into two bowls, though. Instead you pour it all in one and come sit next to him on the couch. Not touching. But close enough to share the popcorn between you. 

He almost expects you to move once the bowl is empty and you set it on the table but you don’t. You just stay there, curled up in your blanket next to him as you watch, commenting to each other at times. He notices you comment less and less, are less responsive to his and are leaning closer and closer to him. 

He can see you falling asleep and when you blink back awake he points it out. “You wanna go to bed? We can finish later.” 

“No, no, I’m good.” You look at him and give him a smile so he knows you know how close you are to him. 

He nods and you keep watching. But twenty or so minutes later you slide a bit and your head rests against his tricep. 

Jack freezes. He doesn’t know what to do. Does he let you sleep? Does he wake you? Is it wrong if he doesn’t wake you? When he knows you might not be ready? But then the sleepiest, “s’okay,” comes from you like you knew what he was thinking. You’re out again so fast he wonders if he made it up. 

He knows you have trouble sleeping sometimes. Trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. So he’s hesitant to wake you from it when you’re getting it. You’d been so in and out of it with the movie he decides to just wait a bit, see if you wake up. 

But then Jack falls asleep on the couch with you resting on his arm. He wakes when he feels you stirring. “Shit,” you whisper, sit up and off him. “We fell asleep.” 

“Yeah,” he yawns. “I meant to wake you but must have fallen asleep before I could,” Jack says slowly as he wakes back up. “I wasn’t sure if you were okay with…”

“Oh.” You blink at him like the thought hadn’t occurred to you. “Yeah. No, yeah, it was okay, I’m okay. I, I hope you were. You definitely could have woken me if you weren’t!” 

Jack nods. “I know.”

You nod back, the magnitude of falling asleep on him hitting you even though you’re not sure it should really hold any particular magnitude. “Okay. Good.” You look around and check the monitor, chuckle a little and show it to Jack. He chuckles with you at the silly position your son is sleeping in. “Probably best to get to bed.” You give him a small smile. 

“Yeah, probably.” You stand up off the couch and toss the blanket onto it, grab the bowl and put it in the sink to deal with tomorrow. Jack stands too and stretches a little. “Are you going?” You ask, almost sound a little sad at the thought. You are a little sad at the thought. 

“I wasn’t going to,” he shakes his head. “I was just going to head to the spare, but I can if you’d prefer.”

“No! No.” You shake your head. “No, I was going to say it’s late and so you should stay and not try and get home at this hour. It’s not safe.” 

Jack gives you a little smirk and you have to look away. “After you,” Jack calls your attention back, sweeps his hand at the entry to the hallway leading to the rooms. “You want me to take him in the morning?” Jack asks as he follows you. You know he’s talking about the monitor. 

“Oh, no. You have to work tomorrow so you should sleep as much as you can.” You’ve learned his schedule. The reality of that hits you both at the same time. You clear your throat. “Good night, Jack.”

“Good night,” Jack replies, smiling to himself as he walks into your spare room. You know his schedule. Jack realizes he knows yours too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week or so later you ask Jack if he has a certain day off, as if you don’t already know that he does. And he knows you know. 

“Yeah,” he answers, looking up from the floor where he’s playing with your son. 

You nod. “Well, so.” You try to start but stumble. You’re nervous. Flustered in that way you get. Like both times you were at the hospital. “That’s his birthday,” you look at your son with a smile, “and I was wondering if you’d um, if you’d like to, you know, spend the day with us?”

Jack doesn’t realize he’s doing it but he stares at you for a few seconds. You just asked him to spend the day with you and your son on your son’s first birthday. 

He nods. “Yeah.” He nods a little faster. “I would love that. If you’re sure. I know it’s a special day and-”

“No, I’m sure. And I know he’ll love it.” You look at your son fondly and then back at Jack. The fondness in your eyes doesn’t go away. “He loves you.” 

Jack flushes a little at that and it makes you get butterflies. Jack Abbot is blushing in front of you. Doesn’t matter why or what you said. He’s blushing and you’re swooning like you’re a teenager. And, you realize, you don’t hate yourself or feel guilty about it. You just feel it.

“Well,” Jack laughs a little, looks down at your son and brushes some hair out of his face. You still haven’t brought yourself to get it cut but you really are going to have to here soon. “I lo-” Jack stops himself. You can see him trying to think of what to say instead. 

“It’s okay,” you say quietly, understandingly. “You can say it, Jack.” 

Jack nods and swallows. “I love him too,” he says just as softly as he looks back down at your son. 

When Jack finally builds up the courage to look at you he’s greeted by your smile. The one that really meets your eyes and makes them sparkle a bit. The one that he’s seen more and more recently. The one that gives him butterflies. 

Jack Abbot blushes again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The three of you spend all day together. Your son is one, so the day is more for you than anything. 

You decide on the zoo. Your son loves animals, it’s a weekday so it’s not super busy, the weather is perfect. And you can take it at your own pace. 

Lots of pictures get taken. Of your son. Of you and your son. Of your son and Jack. Of you, your son and Jack. That one threw him a little when you first brought it up and asked a stranger to take a photo of the three of you. 

Jack is patient and would never pressure you and very deliberately does not ask where you’re at in healing or if you’re feeling like you’re closer to ready or anything of the sort. He lets you lead, lets you set the tone and the pace. He knows if and when you’re ready you’ll communicate that. 

You and Jack sit in the aquarium when your son needs a nap and falls asleep in his stroller. You talk about your upcoming weeks and Jack tells you stories of patients he’s had recently that he hasn’t had the chance to tell you about. 

“Have you… had to explain anything about him and I? At work.” 

Jack’s eyebrows lift slightly and he shakes his head. “No. I’m sure they’re all dying to know but like I said, I don’t feel the need to explain anything to them.” He shrugs. “Well, actually,” he lets out a little breath. “The day you came in I told Robby and Dana. Not a lot. Just that you’re a friend I’m helping out because you’re a single mom and don’t have anyone here.” He bites his lip and looks at you. “I told them that you lost your husband while he was deployed, so we had the widower widow connection. I’m sorry if that was too much.” 

You laugh a little and shake your head. Jack has talked to you enough about Dana and Robby to know that Robby is his best friend and effective brother and Dana is his second best friend and like the Pitt mom. “It’s not.” 

“Dana said he’s gorgeous.” Jack doesn’t know why all of this didn’t come out once you got home that day but he was asleep when you did and then life was just busy and moved on. And now you’re talking about it. “He actually liked Robby, so he and I had a little conversation when we got home about bringing his standards back up.” 

That makes you laugh, properly. Jack thinks he could get lost in the sound forever. Spend the rest of his life chasing it. He tells himself to get a grip. You’re just friends. Nothing more. 

“Well,” you smile at him before looking away and shrugging. “Maybe one day I can meet them. Judge for myself.” 

Jack pauses for a second only because he wasn’t expecting it. “Uh, I mean yeah. Of course. Dana will lose it if she gets to see him again.”

“He is the cutest and best if I do say so myself.” You smile down at your sleeping one year old. “God, I can’t believe it’s been a year.” It’s been over a year and a half now since your husband. “He’s so big,” you whisper. “He was so tiny, fit on my chest so nicely. And I love watching him grow up and see him do new things and learn and thrive, but damn it’s hard.” 

Jack gives you a little hum of empathy, not entirely sure what to say. He notices how big your son has gotten and he’s only been in your lives for three months. 

“Will you come with us when I get his hair cut finally?” 

Jack looks over at you, a little confused. “Yeah, course.” He presses his lips together and shakes his head once. “Any particular reason why?” 

“To be my shoulder to cry on.” You say it so simply, like it means nothing when you both know it means something. You both know you’re inviting him to another thing your husband and your son’s dad would probably go to with you. 

And Jack gets stuck on it a little. To be my, you had said, you want him to be your something, even if it’s just a shoulder to cry on right now. “I suppose I can manage that.”

You share a little laugh about it. “Thanks, Jack,” you murmur. 

“Any time.” 

Once your son wakes back up you finish walking around the zoo. Jack buys him too many toys at the gift shop, all the stuffed animals he so much as glances at, much to his delight. You make your way back home together in Jack’s truck. Jack’s truck that now has a carseat in it. 

But you don’t go inside, instead you decide to leave the stroller and walk around the City. You find a place to eat and it’s weird to think about. To all the people walking by and seeing the three of you, you probably look like a family. And even though you feel some guilt, especially on your son’s birthday, you don’t completely hate yourself or let that guilt consume you. You like the idea. A lot. So you let yourself feel it.

After dinner at dusk you decide to take your son to the park for some swinging before heading back and getting him to bed. He loves to swing. You take photos of him and Jack and Jack takes them of the two of you. 

You’re so involved with your son and swinging and making him laugh that you don’t notice Jack slip away for just a second. Your son yawns. “Aw,” you give him a little sad laugh. “Tired baby? You’ve had a big day.” He reaches up for you and you pull him out of the swing, hug him close to you and kiss his head. 

When you turn around Jack is back and standing where you assumed he would be but he’s holding a single rose. You stay where you’re at, almost frozen but not in a tense way. And Jack is just as nervous that this is crossing a line when he doesn’t mean for it to be.  

“Day’s about you as much as it’s about him,” he calls to you. He starts walking towards you and you meet him halfway. “You did all the work a year ago today, mom.” He offers you the rose. “We should acknowledge that.” 

You look at the rose and then back up at him again, a bit stunned still. It’s so incredibly sweet and kind. It’s so incredibly Jack. And you know for sure then. 

You take the rose from him and give him a sappy smile. “Thank you, Jack. For everything. The rose and today and the last three months.”

“Don’t mention it.” He gives you a small smile. 

“Accept the thanks.” You give him a pointed one in return. 

“Alright, alright.” Your son has started to fall asleep in your arms. “Want me to take him?” 

You nod. “Sure, yeah. You only need one arm to carry him still. I need two now.”  You bring the rose up to your nose and smell it, smile to yourself about it. Let you and the butterflies in your stomach swoon. 

The three of you start walking home, your son fully out on Jack’s shoulder within a couple minutes. You walk back in silence. It’s a comfortable silence, a comfortable quiet. And while quiet hasn’t been as foreboding to Jack since he’s met you sometimes it still is. Like now. 

This quiet, while comfortable, is thick. There’s something about it that feels anticipatory. Last time the quiet felt like this, made him feel like this, this uneasy, it brought Jack you. 

Something about that makes him even more uneasy. Because Jack knows there’s always a reason for quiet. It always means something. Always brings something. Rarely, if ever, is it good. And he got good last time and Jack doesn’t trust the world or lightning to strike twice. 

He worries this time the quiet will bring something else. Something worse, like it always does. 

But before he can completely spiral and become even more hypervigilant than he always is, Jack feels your fingers brush against his for a second before they disappear and then come back, your fingers playing with his like it’s nothing, and then, in the quiet as you walk back to your place, you lace your fingers together and you’re holding hands and you give him a little squeeze that tells him you mean it. That you’re ready.   

Quiet. It always means something. Always brings something. 

This time it meant you were working up the courage. Is bringing the start of something more than just friends. 

Lightning strikes twice. 

Jack stops walking when you squeeze his hand and you stop with him, looking up concerned and a bit panicked, ready to draw your hand back. 

“You ready for this?” Jack asks, genuine concern in his voice as his eyes dart around your face, looking for the slightest sign of hesitation. But you can see it there too, the excitement, the happiness. The hope. “And by this I mean this,” he squeezes your hand. “Nothing more. Not until you’re ready for more. Not until you tell me you’re ready for more.”  

You bite your lip as he talks because he’s so cute when he’s concerned and he’s such a good man, wanting to make sure you’re ready and know he doesn’t expect more. And the smile that’s slowly pulling up on his face as you look at him and nod is so adorable you could scream. “Yeah. I’m ready for this.” You squeeze his hand back. “And maybe a little more.” You pull on his hand and start walking again, lean into him a little. “But only with you.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you made it this far thank you so much for reading and I hope it was okay and got fluffy and funny!!

You can find my Masterlist here for more Jack! Requests are open!

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[maybefae]

Your First Impression of Your Person

Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3

Remember, this is a general reading and it may not resonate for everyone or completely. Tarot is a tool to help guide but you are responsible for your actions and life, you choose your path.

I was leaning more towards a romantic partner that you are going to end up with that will have a significant place in your life but take it as it resonates for you.

Tips!

|Pile 1

Tarot: Eight of Swords (horizontal), Death, The High Priestess, Seven of Pentacles, Ten of Cups (horizontal), Page of Cups, Four of Pentacles, The Star (reversed), The Fool

Oracle: The Ladybug and Sweet Pea (happiness), The Chipmunk and Laurel (success), The Otter and Cattail (peace)

This person is someone that your soul has been letting you know was coming with certain signs or messages. And this could be someone you wished for, but there is a strong sense that this person was just meant to come into your life. It’s like you wished for this person and didn’t know that they were gonna come in whether you wished for them or not. I believe fate and freewill coincide together and this is one of those grey areas. 

Your person comes in either when a new chapter starts for you or this person comes in and triggers it. Whichever this new chapter is happening, there is a feeling of uncertainty and pessimistic caution - as if trust had been bruised. You almost feel like a wolf backed into a corner and someone is encroaching on your space and you’re trying to decide if they are safe or if you need to bite your way out of a situation. I don’t know if the new chapter has left you feeling a little vulnerable or if you did your little spells (writing down your persons characteristics, a letter from their POV of you, or moodboards), but it took longer than you expected so you developed a resentment of some kind. You’re skeptical of them. It’s like a “oh, now you decide to show up when I don’t want you anymore.” But you know that you still do but your own expectations have hurt you. Your person has done nothing to you.

In fact, you decide to give them a singular cup with caution to see if they can fill it because you still want them. You’re treading lightly and they realize this. They genuinely want to offer you ten full cups and you realize that quickly with how much they bring to the table. They do bring you a lot of happiness and peace, which their entrance into your life probably wasn’t anything grand. Their peaceful stroll into your life probably made you skeptical as well as angry. “But they are what you need(ed).” You probably expected something dramatic because of past people or situations and when you didn’t get that from your person, it felt unsafe. You may have some doubts and think “this wasn’t what I wished for.” But it was, deep down it was. And your wishes were a success.

I think you will be very emotional after dropping the wall finally. I think they will do something that will show you that they love you early on and it will make your walls instantly fall. There’s a feeling of guilt for being so resentful and angry towards your person and you may not know how to forgive yourself. But just know, your person says that you have nothing to be sorry for. There could be a moment when you decide to tell them this and your tears will be dried by them.

|Pile 2

Tarot: The Hierophant, The Hanged Man, Nine of Pentacles, Nine of Swords, The Empress, Ace of Wands, The Lovers, Four of Wands, The Star

Oracle:  The Eel and Iris (safety), The Boar and Pumpkin (confidence), The Snake and Fern (starting over), The Skunk and Magnolia (protection)

Before I pull the cards, I ended up shuffling face up for a moment. Your person may show you all their cards upfront so you know what they want, their boundaries, and their feelings towards you. There isn’t any pussy-footing around feelings and playing games. They are too grown for that and they take love and relationships very seriously. I had to go back and pull an oracle card I say while resetting the deck and it was The Eel and Iris card which represents safety in this deck. There are two messages here. They will leave if they don’t think you are safe. They are slimy in the way of being able to get away if you start to play with their heart, not that they are a player and wiggle in and out of your life. Absolutely not. And they offer you and your heart a lot of safety by presenting all their cards to you right away. They don’t play games. If it’s important, Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls could hold significance.  - Just from getting all these messages without pulling any cards, or just from this one oracle card, I have a very strong feeling about this message. They get to business in a very determined and sure-footed way. They are dependable.

Now that I pulled the cards, my top messages are correct. You will find their confidence very attractive because it doesn’t come off in a cocky way. Their confidence comes off just in a sure and stable way. They made it very clear to you that they find you “absolutely breathtaking” as soon as they got to talk to you (and in the same moment, they ask you on a date and your NUMBER, not your social media.) I think they will also be very attractive and not someone you expect to be attracted to you. They are very successful -  everything else in their life is in line but they don’t have a lover. They are very picky so you should feel lucky they chose you. They are looking for commitment, something serious. For some this could be marriage but if you don’t like that idea, make that clear right away because they will like how you’re sure of your wants. They will respect it, especially if you make it abundantly clear that you want something committed and long term outside of legal bindings. 

There is a lot of sexual tension in this pile. And there is a very wealthy energy coming off the both of you, especially with how formal I felt writing this. It was like I was writing a contract. 

I think that they will also let you know pretty early on that this could be a start over for them and they are giving love one more try before giving up. Maybe they could’ve given up before hand but you two got sexually involved and it led to them giving the both of you a shot. With them laying their cards on the table and you laying down yours, it creates a very stable foundation for the both of you to grow off of. This feels like a very mature energy, maybe 30s? There is a feeling of creating some sort of foundation for yourself, even it you could just be starting your foundation then.

|Pile 3

Tarot: Three of Swords, The Hierophant, Ace of Wands, Judgement, Knight of Wands, Queen of Cups, The Hermit, Nine of Cups, Temperance, Strength

Oracle: The Wolf and Rose Hip (guardianship), The Vulture and Asphodel (upheaval), The Sheep and Blackberry (devotion)

The Three of Swords instantly jumped out when I started shuffling. And before I started, the knight of cups was at the bottom…I believe your person wanted to bring your own heartbreak to light first and foremost. I don’t believe this card is part of your impression of them. This feels like a combination of their opinion of you combined with what you think of them. There’s a deep feeling of heartbreak from you but I don’t think you’ve given up on love, you really just want to finally meet the person you’ll spend your life with. The love of your life. This pile isn’t for someone seeking something temporary.

Pile 3, your person is the love of your life. They truly love you and I think that is why they wanted me to talk about you first. They come in very protectively, a wolf guarding their sheep. It’s not that you’re fragile but they have a good understanding that you are sensitive and a soft soul, which brings out their protective side. I think you welcome it because there is a feeling of instant safety you get from this person, like finally finding shelter to stand under while the rain clouds clear up. They instantly light up the passion you had for love again because they come in with the same passion, which isn’t inherently sexual either. This passion comes from a place of safety and comfort from each other, it’s like finally experiencing a love that isn’t so intense. Puppy love…maybe love that is usually experienced when you’re younger. There is a sense of them bringing back light-hearted fun, that love doesn’t have to be so taxing on your soul (and it shouldn’t be). 

There is a message of, “your patience will be rewarded.” 

They see you as an angel, pile 3. And they are merely your knight and they offer you so much devotion. I know this should be your first impression of them but I think you see this practically right away. “Light dawns on marble head.” They bring you out of the hermit phase and show you that they have all nine cups and you only need to bring your one cup so you can have the Ten of Cups together. They don’t expect anything other than your presence, you just have to show up and give them love. That’s all they expect from you and I think that comes as a surprise to you because people had expected so much of you and stripped you of it all so you were left empty. It probably took you a long time to fill your own cup again. They bring new and wanted change even though it may come with some uncomfortability from your end. 

Dividers: @inklore

[yelenasbraid]

on your doorstep — joe burrow

summary — he really likes you, but you can’t wrap your head around the fact that he likes you.

warnings — fem!reader, lsu!joe, fluff, absolute sweetness, oblivious reader, flustered joey

note — my very first lsu joe fic 🤭 figured it was needed after the loss last night :( there is a fic coming from the game tho! but probably won’t be out until later this week.

LEAVING OHIO STATE was tough. as much as joe knew that it was going to be better for his football career, he had to start over. again. he didn’t want to meet new people in his classes, again.

to make things worse, some of his credits from ohio state didn’t transfer right. so, he had to retake some of his gen ed classes. it just made joe dread the transfer even more, but as he walked into one of his political science classes, he sat next to one of most beautiful girls he’s seen.

as his first semester went on, he got to know the girl beside him. you were incredibly smart; you grasped the content a lot quicker than he did. you were friendly too, easy to talk to and overall he just liked being around you.

so when it came around to an exam, of course joe asked you to be his study buddy.

“don’t you have practice basically all week?” you asked him as your class ended. he shrugged, offering you that goofy, boyish smile.

“well yeah, but i also really want to pass this class,” he replied, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulders. he was cute, especially with how his hair flipped out from under the snapback. his hair was still long, yet he swore up and down he was going to cut it. you liked it long, you liked how he had this happy-go-lucky thing about him, and you also liked how he wasn’t like some of the other players you met. you were drawn to him, but you kept your distance. you knew of the stigma around football players.

“you kinda need to,” you teased as the two of you exited class. ever since joe met you, he’s wanted to be around you. he found himself enjoying class just because you were in it. he had something to look forward too; you made political science interesting to him. you were normal around him too. when you found out he was the starting quarterback, you didn’t lose your mind, didn’t ask for an autograph, or even give him a look. you simply nodded your head, telling him it was cool, and moved on.

at first he thought he should be offended by how nonchalant you were, but as he got to know you, he wasn’t. he enjoyed the fact you two were friends, and not because he played football.

joe rolled his eyes at your comment as you two walked out of the building. it was a rather warm day in the bayou, the sun pelting down on the both of you as you stopped at a nearby cafe.

he liked how the sun made you glow. he liked how you hated the heat, but still made a point to be out in the sun. every interaction he had with you built a butterfly nest in his stomach, and the longer he knew you, the stronger the butterflies got.

“smoothie?” he asked you as you stood in line at the cafe, pulling out your card.

“of course, it’s too hot to not have a smoothie,” you smiled, looking up at him. he was so effortlessly adorable, but he was also kind. you had a mutual love for marvel and would often go on tangents about theories. you’ve never felt so at home with someone that quickly. you felt safe with him, which bred these annoying butterflies in your stomach. he’d never like you, you were just another friend, right?

“right, and it’s a strawberry yogurt smoothie, right?” he asked again, a prideful yet boyish grin plastered on his face. you looked up at him surprise, smiling.

“i’m surprised you remembered,”

“you get it every time we come here, i can’t help but remember it,” he teased. he remembered your order the second you told him, and he’s not forgotten it since. it’s only been a few months and he wants to be with you for the rest of his life. he was so down bad for you it hurt, but you wouldn’t like him. you didn’t seem the type to go after a football player, right?

“that is very true,” you agreed with a laugh. you went to pay, but joe stepped in front of you. you barely had time to question him before he ordered. he stepped back to wait, you joining him.

"you didn't have to pay for me," you told him as you stood next to him. he felt his cheeks redden, heat rising to his ears.

"you were too slow," he teased, but in reality he wanted to pay for you. he wanted to make you feel special and feel like you were the only girl in the world. your smoothies came, and you saw he ordered two strawberry smoothies.

“stepping out of your comfort zone?” you asked, grabbing your smoothie.

“you slurp those things down like it’s candy. i had to try it,” he shrugged. despite acting nonchalant, he wasn’t. he wanted to try the things you like, to do the things you enjoyed. he took a sip of the smoothie, your eyes watching for his reaction.

“you have good taste,” he complimented, a blush rising to his cheeks. every time he complimented you, even if it was small, his heart raced and he got all nervous. would you look too far into it? would you see that he liked you?

“see? they’re good! plus, it’s not too unhealthy,” you grinned, gently shoving him as you sipped your own. you felt eyes as you walked out with joe. he was the star quarterback; people believed that he was going to do lsu a huge favor. you believed it too, but you weren’t appreciative of the stares you got, or the backhanded comments you got.

“it’s so loaded with sugar,” he laughed.

“and yet you’re still drinking it,” you defended. it was the moments like this that you lived for. the smile from joe, the way he walked in step with you, the way he’d walk you back to your apartment. you wanted to be around him all the time, but you couldn’t be. he had practice, and you had other plans too.

the two of you were making your way to the student union to do some studying. would any studying get done? probably not. every time you attempted to study, you ended up goofing off. it happened every time.

you found a table, sat your stuff down, and got out your laptops. you guys actually studied for about 30 minutes until joe showed you a funny video.

“you hear the sound it made when the ball hit his head?” he was giggling so hard as he showed you this video he found. it was two brothers playing baseball in the living room of their home, the ball being a wiffle ball, and it bounced off the younger brother’s head. that then prompted the bat to fly out of the younger brother’s hands, and the chaos of the video was what had joe shaking with laughter.

“how did he not break anything?” you asked with a fit of giggles yourself.

“i don’t know,” joe laughed, a good silent laugh too. you started laughing because of how joe was laughing. you covered your mouth in an attempt to stifle the giggles, but it was to no avail.

after a while, your giggle fits died down. you wiped tears from your eyes as you attempted to focus back on your studying.

“what’re you doing tonight?” joe asked you, wiping tears from his eyes.

“as far as i know, nothing. why?” you replied, flicking your eyes to meet his. every time you looked at him, you fought the urge to trace his features with your eyes. his lips, his jawline, his hair, even his neck. it drove you wild and made your nerves go crazy. oh what you would do to kiss him.

no, no you couldn’t think like that. he didn’t like you like that.

“we should have a movie night,” he suggested. you’ve had a movie night before, but it was more structured. mutual friends were hosting a movie night, and you two happened to go.

“sure, what movie are you thinking?” you asked, feeling the nerves bubble up inside of you. you had to keep your cool, absolutely had to.

“i’m thinking the original avengers movie. it’s been a minute so i thought we’re due for a rewatch,” he shrugged, taking a sip of his smoothie. he watched you, observing how your eyes squinted in thought, how your fingers hovered over your keyboard. he watched how your eyes flicked over his expression, and how badly he wanted to do the same. you were beautiful, and the way you sat there, a smile on your face that lit up your eyes; he’s never wanted to kiss you more in his life. suddenly, he was nervous to even be in the same room as you.

“oooh yes, i agree. your place or mine?”

“let’s do my place,” he suggested. his roommate was out of town and wouldn’t be back for a couple of days. so, he had the apartment to himself. which was a good thing.

“great. should i meet you there?”

“no, i’ll pick you up,” he offered. he was bold, trying to keep his confidence as he planned this night out. he didn’t know why he was so nervous, actually, he did. joe liked you, he was falling for you, and it’d hit him like a brick wall. he’s never this nervous for a game, but having a movie night with just you? he thought he was going to be sick.

“oh, what a gentlemen,” you teased, feeling warmth spread across your body. you fell for him, and he was going to be the end of you.

—

you’ve been to his apartment before. it was kept clean, smelled nice, and not to mention it was clean. it was different this time, though. you weren’t going to drop something off, you were going to hang out with him. something very normal but very nerve wracking.

your phone buzzed with a text from joe. ‘i’m here!’ you scrambled to find your things, and once you did, you were out the door.

you walked down the stairs, trying not to trip and fall because of how shaky your legs were. you found his car, and before you could open the door yourself, joe stepped out.

“what’re you doing?” you chuckled, watching as he opened your door for you.

“making my mama proud,” he grinned. you rolled your eyes and shook your head. it was sweet, and god it made you fall for him even faster.

little did you know he was sweating just by opening the door for you.

“i bet she is,” you told him, sincerely. you knew his mom was proud of him. you knew that a lot of people were proud of him. you grew to be one of those people, especially after learning about his experience at ohio state.

joe got in, and started the drive to his place. soft music played over the speakers, but the silence wasn’t awkward. you leaned back in your seat, watching as the world went by. you turned your head, watching as joe had one hand on the wheel and the other on his thigh. why was driving so attractive to you? for a split second you imagined his hand on your thigh, giving you a gentle squeeze. you erased that image; it would never happen.

joe pulled into his place, got out, opened the door for you, and led you up to his room. the whole car ride had him nervous. he kept wringing the wheel, thinking about the night ahead of him. he wanted to tell you how he felt, but what if you didn’t feel the same? what if you rejected him? he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if you rejected him.

he unlocked his door, stepping in behind you.

“home sweet home,” he sighed as he tossed the keys onto the kitchen counter. joe watched as you walked in, blanket in hand, dressed in your comfiest clothes. he wanted you for himself so badly, but not now. he wanted a movie night with his best friend, and he’d have that.

“make yourself at home, i’ll grab some snacks,” he announced. you nodded, taking a seat on the couch. you laid the blanket over your legs as you turned on the tv. joe joined you, a bowl full of pretzels in hand. you raised an eyebrow at him as he sat down.

“pretzels?”

“don’t lie, you love em,” he grinned as he popped one into his mouth. you rolled your eyes, selecting the movie. you cuddled into the couch, facing joe. joe offered you the pretzel bowl, and you took a couple.

“thanks,” you hummed. you looked so soft, so comfortable, and he wanted to lay there with you. he wanted to feel you against him, your fingers through his hair, your lips against his. he fought everything in him to not reach out and hold your hand, or lean against you. it was going to be a long night for him.

—

as the movie came to a close, you adjusted yourself on the couch. the pretzel bowl was empty, and now you and joe faced the tv. you sat next to him, feeling his warmth radiate out from him. you gravitated towards it, leaning against his shoulder. you looped an arm through his, resting your cheek on his shoulder. exhaustion was creeping up on you, threatening to take you hostage. you stayed awake, barely.

joe, however, was electrified. the second he felt you against him he stiffened, but then forced himself to relax. he didn’t want you thinking he didn’t want you to do that. it was the opposite, he’s been silently begging for you to lean on him. he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, his hand resting on your arm. his fingers danced on your exposed skin, and he was hoping he wasn’t freaking you out. you both weren’t big on physical touch; he was lucky if you hugged him. this was a different feeling, one he didn’t want to let go of.

the second you felt his fingers on your arm the butterflies erupted in your stomach. warmth spread across your body, shivers crawling over your body. you wanted his touch on other areas of your body, but you stayed still.

the movie ended, but you stayed there. you didn’t want his touch to leave you, but it was late, and you were falling asleep. you needed to go home, but you were going to be thinking about this night for a long while. you pulled away from him, your cheeks a bright red.

“i love an original 6 movie,” you cleared your throat as you stretched your tight limbs, a yawn escaping your lips.

“me too,” he agreed. it was time to drive you home, the worst part of the night. he didn’t say what he wanted to say, he didn’t tell you how he felt and how you lit up his life. why did he let his nerves, his fears, control him? they didn’t on the field, so why now?

you gathered your things, slipped on your shoes, and got into the car. the drive home almost put you to sleep, especially since the music was low enough to tempt you.

joe pulled into your apartment, parking the car.

“what’re you doing?” you yawned.

“i’m gonna walk you up,”

“no, no you don’t have to do that,” you rubbed your eyes, trying to rub the sleep from them. joe thought it was cute, especially since you were so sleepy.

“please, my mama raised me better,” he told you, getting out of the car. joe and his mama. joe opened your door for you, and you stepped out. he walked with you up to your apartment door, his mind racing. now was his chance, he had to do something.

“we should do movie nights more often,” you suggested.

“we should. maybe we can watch the entirety of the mcu this semester,” joe added as you got to your door. you fiddled with your keys as you unlocked your door. as much as you didn’t want to walk in, you were exhausted.

“thanks for tonight, it was fun,” you smiled sleepily at him. he shoved his hands in his sweats pockets and shrugged.

“don’t mention it,” he watched as you started to walk in to your apartment, and his heart lurched.

“y/n, wait,” he called, grabbing your hand, spinning you to face him. you looked at him with a worried gaze.

“what-” you couldn’t even get the word out before joe’s lips found yours. you were shocked, but before you could process he pulled away. he opened his mouth to speak, but you grabbed his collar and pulled him back down to you. your lips met, and his lips were just as soft as they looked. your hands looped around his neck, playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. his hands wrapped around your waist, bringing you as close as he possibly could.

he couldn’t believe he was kissing you. he couldn’t believe he felt you against him, that you were kissing him. he imagined this for a while, the feeling of you in his arms and the taste of you on his tongue. he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. he smiled, not being able to control himself.

“i’ve waited so long to do that,” he admitted softly. you chuckled, feeling a blush on your cheeks and butterflies in your stomach.

“me too,”

“let me take you out on a date,” he suggested, pulling his forehead from yours. you looked up at him with a twinkle in your eye.

“i’m all yours, burrow,” you hummed, which prompted him to dip his head in, softly kissing you again. you wanted to stay there forever, kissing him on your doorstep, feeling his hands on your body. you never wanted the moment to end. you looked forward to that date, and hopefully, many more to come.

i can’t believe i’ve not written for lsu joe before??? and now he’s all i think about??? anyways, pls enjoy this absolute fluff piece! lsu joe is such a cutie so i had to write for him. hopefully this makes up for the terrible, depressing loss we had last night 😭

[eddiesxangel]

Hey!

I’m really bad at explaining stuff so bare with me haha😂

I was thinking that reader is a virgin and has never even kissed anyone, then she starts dating Eddie and he’s her first everything…

Then someday while they’re having sex, Wayne walks in on them and then he tries to talk to them about being safe and something like that 😅

The Sweet Days in the Shire | Eddie Munson x F!Reader

omg, this is so heavily inspired by my own experience...Are you in my walls? this is literally my experience with my current bf now...How did you know?!

Word count: 7.2k oops

Cw: This is NOT a fic about corruption kink. Angst, fluff, f!reader, readers first time (oral, fingering, p in v penetration) , reader and Eddie are 22. Happy ending 🤭

*Five years ago*

"I'm going to die alone," You groaned.

Were you being dramatic? Yes. But you were seventeen and truly felt like the most undesirable girl. No one had ever shown any interest in you. Your best guy friend, Eddie, was trying to convince you otherwise.

You had known Eddie since first grade but only got to know him once you went into tenth grade.

"Come on, don't be like that" Eddie spoke.

You were hanging out in the Shire, a.k.a. Eddie's bedroom, reviewing the new DND campaign, making sure there were no significant loopholes the others could get through.

"It's true! No guy had ever liked me like that, or if they have, they're all weird, and I don't like them back... Remember Lorne? He told me he liked me out of the blue when I hadn't spoken one word to him.'"

Eddie chuckled.

"It's not funny, Eddie! What was I supposed to say? I hardly knew the guy."

"I'm sorry. You're right. It's not funny." But he was still laughing.

"Ugggggggh," you rested your head back in defeat.

"So what if non of these shitty high school guys aren't interested? You're way out of their league."

"You're just saying that as my best friend."

"I'm really not. They are all douchebags or interested in anything other than getting a girlfriend."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Where do you fall in that line?"

"I'm different." He smirked.

All you could do was roll your eyes. Of course, Eddie was different. He was Eddie. Your Eddie. Eddie, who you sprung a teeny tiny crush on within the last couple of months.

"I feel like such a loser, Eds. I'm seventeen and haven't even had my first kiss." You admit, softly.

"What?" This caught Eddie by surprise.

"You heard me." You mumbled.

"Impossible."

"Well, I'm not lying." You snap.

"Don't believe you"

"Well, you don't think I would have told you if some guy came up to me and planted one on me?" You folded into yourself. Succumbing to your self-depreciation.

Why didn't he believe you? Was it really that hard to believe that you were such a loser that no one has even ever tried to kiss you?

"Okayyy. So what if I helped you with that?" he pushed you back up.

"What?"

"I mean-shit- you obviously don't have to; you probably don't want to kiss me. We are just friends. But if you want to get it over with, you can...-I can help you." He rambled.

"Okay," You answered without thinking. You've wanted to kiss Eddie for months. You wanted him to be your first.

"Yea?"

You nodded your head, afraid of what might come out of your mouth next.

"Uh-okay"

You both shift, so you're facing one another. You don't move, unsure of how to approach this. Eddie was much more experienced than you. He probably already lost his virginity at this point. But the two of you never spoke about that.

So here you were, sitting on his bedroom floor, with your eyes closed, like a statue, until Eddie leaned in. You felt his warm, plush lips against yours. Butterflies soared in your stomach. It was just like everyone always described it to be. You felt the connection, that spark. The kiss felt like it lasted hours when, in reality, it was nothing more than a peck. But as far as first kisses go, you were convinced it was the best.

"Wow," you let slip when he pulled away.

Eddie chuckled softly and leaned back on the bed like nothing had happened.

Your stomach dropped at the realization that you and Eddie were, in fact, just friends. He didn't feel the connection you had.

"Thanks," you managed to get out without your voice cracking in disappointment.

"Anytime, Pip." He smiled and then went back to the DND campaign...

To add more salt to your wound, Eddie was arm-in-arm with Veronica a week later. Eddie had never even mentioned interest in her. You spoke every day. You never once hear him display any interest in a girl... another girl when not even six days ago he was kissing you in his bedroom. And that's when you decided to distance yourself from Eddie Munson.

*Present Day*

After a very long four years of college out of state, you were back in your hometown of Hawkins, Indiana. Freshly twenty-two, you finally blossomed into the young woman you were meant to be. At college, you got to find yourself and your people. Once you had found your confidence, you grew into yourself. You had got a haircut that flattered your face and styled yourself with clothes that made you feel comfortable and confident. Before, it used to be all-black jeans and band tees that hid your figure. But now you find wearing skirts, dresses, and colour!

You used to be a late bloomer, but now you have gained many life experiences. However, you still need help in the love department. Your college years had been your party girl era, for sure. However, nothing ever went past a makeout session in the bar because you weren't like that... you wanted to have sex with someone you trusted, who you loved. Not some random stranger.

So here you were, back home in the early days of summer, and you were out job hunting. You'd been out on Main Street, in and out of stores, looking to see who was hiring, handing out your resume for about half an hour.

The sun was scorching for this time of year, causing you to start sweating and feel uncomfortable without air conditioning. As you walked by the local record store, you noticed they were advertising a job opening, and it felt like fate. You breathed a sigh of relief as you stepped inside the cool store. The door chimes jingled, announcing to anyone who was around that a customer had arrived. The store appeared empty, with not a soul in sight.

"Hello?" Your voice filled the empty air. "Hello?" You repeated once again a minute later with no reply.

"I'm here to apply for the job?" You peek around the back of the counter. As you looked over, you noticed a slightly open door. A figure passed by, but they didn't seem to notice you.

You respectfully waited a few more minutes but were becoming impatient. You decided to round the back of the counter and knock on the door labelled Staff Only.

"Excuse me." You knock and push it open a little further so you can see inside the staff room.

You notice a young man facing away from you, wearing headphones covering his ears. The loud guitar and bass sound emanates from the headphones. It's no surprise that he couldn't hear you.

"Excuse me?" You say a little louder, but it doesn't seem helpful. You sigh and walk up to him, hoping he doesn't take a swing at you for sneaking up on him.

Apprehensively, you tap the man's shoulder twice before stepping back quickly before they can react.

"What the fuck?" They rip off the headphones, and your stomach drops as you recognize the voice. Your prediction is confirmed as Eddie turns around with a frightened look on his face.

"You can't be back h-" He cuts himself when the reality of who he was talking to hits him.

"Eddie?" you cock your head in curiosity.

"Oh my God, Pippin?" he smiled brightly.

It had been four years since the last time you saw him. You briefly crossed paths in the hallways of Hawkins High, but the two of you hadn't spoken more than a sentence to each other since the day he kissed you. It was nice to hear his voice again.

"Hi," You smiled.

Eddie swore he heard angels singing when you spoke. You looked different, good, but different. More confident. More like yourself.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Trying to apply for the job posting. I've been waiting ten minutes in the store calling out for someone like a moron." You giggled.

"Shit, sorry, I was just on my break." He scratched the back of his head, letting his bicep flex in his tight band tee.

You tried your best not to stare at him, but your attraction to Eddie lingered. He looked really good, having filled out more and grown out more facial hair than he had in high school. He still, however, had his pretty wavy locks. They were just a bit shorter than you were used to.

"Oh, sorry, I can come back later."

"No!" He blurted out. "I mean, it's really good to see you..."

"It's nice seeing you too; it's been a long time," you shy.

"Yeah" He sighed.

"So are you the person I need to talk to about the job or..." You try to fill the awkward silence.

"Shit, yeah, I guess so. I'm, uh, the manager." He cleared his throat.

"Wow, manager, very impressive! Moving on up in the world, Munson," You laugh.

"Watch is missy; you want the job or not?" He slung his arm around your shoulder and walked you back out to the front of the store.

You couldn't help the shiver that broke through your body when his arm made contact with you. It didn't help that he also smelled delicious.

"Well, if it means I get to work alongside you? ... Yeah, I want it," You flirt.

"Oh, I see buttering up an old confidant for a job." He smirked.

Things with Eddie returned to normal as if nothing had ever changed. Like you never left. Like he never kissed you, then broke your naive teenage heart.

"Well, the job is yours if you want it." He smiled.

"Just like that?" You ask in shock.

"Just like that. I don't wanna go through all that paperwork and boring questions. I know you, trust you. It's full-time. $5.50 an hour. So it's yours if you think you can stand working with me daily."

"I think I can manage that."

"Great. We can start training tomorrow at 10:00am."

"Deal." You reached out to shake his hand, but Eddie only stared at it like you were crazy.

"Come on, Pippin, a handshake? Who do you think I am? Bring it in." He opened his arms up to embrace you in a hug.

Pippin. No one but Eddie called you that. It was a nickname he gave you in the tenth grade because you were smaller than him... He said Pippin was the best hobbit from his favourite book.

"You know I could have robbed the store, and you wouldn't have known a thing," you quip, trying to play off the way your breath hitched when you embraced him.

Your hormones would have to chill if you were going to work together.

"That's why security cameras were invented, sweetheart."

"Oh," You shied away. You weren't as clever as you had thought.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he guides you out the door.

"Bye, Eddie." You smile.

Over the next three weeks, you and Eddie picked up where you had left off all those years ago. Things were good, great even. The flame that had been blown out was brought back to life and hotter than ever. There was an extreme tension between the two of you.

However, you both were avoiding the elephant in the room. It was fine until it wasn't. It was eating at Eddie. He loved having you back, but needed to know why you left and ended the friendship.

You were stocking up the new supply of jazz cassettes that came in when you felt Eddie come up behind you.

"Hey, so -uh- what happened?" he leaned back on the shelving, as he crossed his arms.

"What do you mean?" you chirp. Did you do something wrong? Was the till not even?

"With us, I mean, one day we were best buds, and then the next you were just... gone. I really missed you."

Oh, so we are having this conversation. You knew it was inevitable.

"You mean you really don't know?"

"Know what?"

"God, men are dumb," you mumbled under your breath.

"Hey! I heard that"

"Good." You deadpan.

Eddie stared at you blankly.

"You kissed me, Eddie. That meant something to me. Then you were with Veronica a week later..."

"Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, what?" Eddie's eyes went wide with confusion.

"Eddie..." You sighed. This conversation was giving you a headache.

"Pip, I didn't? I wouldn't. I-"

"Forget it, Eddie. It was a long time ago."

"Did you like me or something?" He genuinely asked.

"Or something," You mumbled back.

"Pip, I'm sorry I didn't know... I had no idea you liked me like that. I would have never offered to kiss you if I had known. I never wanted to lead you on."

"It's okay, Eddie. We were seventeen. I eventually got over it, but I had to not be around you to do that. I'm sorry I ran away... I missed you. Like a lot."

"Pip-" Eddie began, but a customer was ready to be rung up at the counter.

The rest of the day was busy, and your shift ended before Eddie's did today. So you quickly said goodbye and waited to talk to him the next day.

Eddie needed to make things right between you. What you had once was so good, and now it seems to be even better than before. Eddie was becoming infatuated with you. He got excited to go to work when you were on schedule. He loved making you laugh; seeing that beautiful smile across your face was his favourite pastime. He could have had that all these years, but it was all ruined for some hot piece of ass Eddie got for a few weeks in their senior year.

Eddie had met Veronica in his grade twelve English class. She was way out of his league, so when she agreed to go out with him, he was only thinking with his dick.

He was thinking about her and how she would be on his knees for him when he kissed you for funsies. He was not thinking about how it would have affected you. He was a selfish teenage boy being controlled by his hormones. Because of that, Eddie was now facing the consequences of his actions all because he wanted to get his dick wet in the twelfth grade.

“Hey Pip, can I talk to you for a sec?” Eddie greeted you when he walked in for his shift mid-afternoon.

“Sure what’s up?” Things were a little rocky since yesterday and you didn’t know where you stood.

God what was this so hard? Why did you make him nervous?

“I uh. I was hoping we could hang out… you know. Outside of work. If you wanted. I wanted to make up for being an ass.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.

"Okay." you smiled.

"Awesome! We are both off on Friday… I made sure.” Eddie said with a goofy smile. God, you were so falling for him again.

You and Eddie have been spending time together outside work every chance you have had for the past six months. He invited you to see your old high school crowd the first few times, and then it slowly became more one-on-ones. Unfortunately for you, your ever-growing crush on Eddie had come back and was stronger than ever.

You hated yourself for falling for him again, but you couldn't help yourself. He was just so charming, boisterous, funny, and not to mention the most attractive man you've seen. Eddie was a natural flirt; he always was throwing compliments your way. He always knew how to make you blush.

That evening during closing, Eddie offered you to come over to The Shire. a.k.a his trailer. After a long, tiring day, both of you wanted some relaxation. He suggested staying in and having a cozy evening with pizza, beers, and perhaps a little weed to escape the cold November weather.

As the night progressed, it began to snow, and a snowstorm was predicted for later in the evening.

"Do you want your usual order, Pip?" Eddie turned his head to glance at you. You were standing near the front door, taking off your hat, scarf, and jacket. As he was watching you, he got lost in your graceful movements. Suddenly, he realized he was staring at you and almost bumped into his fridge.

"Yeah," you shiver. You almost thought about putting your coat back on, but that would be silly. "Can I borrow a sweater or a blanket?" You asked sweetly.

"Of course, sweetheart." Eddie didn't miss the way your nipples perked out of your low-cut t-shirt when you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to warm up, but it only emphasized your breasts.

"Where is Wayne tonight?" You asked.

"He has an overnight shift tonight; he probably just left not too long ago." He said as he disappeared into his bedroom to find you a clean hoodie.

"I'm sorry, I missed him; I haven't seen that guy in years." You huffed. You loved Wayne; he was like a second dad.

"Yeah, he keeps talking you up like I don't already know how amazing you are." He threw the black hoodie at your head.

"Hey!"

I just gave you my sweater and a compliment, I think you should be thanking me."

"Shut up and order the pizza before the storm, Munson." You laugh as you pull the sweater over your head.

You and Eddie settled in, splitting a six-pack of cheap beer and delicious pizza. You wanted to watch a movie after dinner, so Eddie found a few stashed away that he still had yet to return to Family Video.

"How do you feel about horror?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"You know I don't like scary movies, Eds." You whine.

"Well, hate to break it to you, sweetcheeks, but this is all we got, so it's either this... or cable that will most likely be down within the next half hour if the weather keeps up." You glanced out the window, and if you didn't leave now, you were not making it home tonight. The storm had started a lot earlier than anticipated.

"Oh shit, it's awful out. I didn't think it would be this bad so soon! I should go... shit, I've been drinking, we both have! We can't drive!" You started freaking out.

"Pip, you can always crash here. I don't mind." He offered.

"Are you sure?" You twiddled with the drawstrings of the hoodie.

"Of course! You think I would let you go out there?"

"Well... no."

"We can share my bed". He said nonchalantly.

Was he insane?! You can not share a bed... with him... you'll want to do things with him. You can't take the rejection again.

"Umm."

"Well, I would sleep on the pull-out couch but Wayne sleeps there."

"It's okay... we are both adults," You swallowed. "Hey, do you have any more beer?" You needed a drink. Desperately.

"Oh, so we are having one of those nights? Edie wiggled his brows at you, and you rolled your eyes in return.

"I need liquid courage for these movies you're going to put me through," You fibbed.

"Don't worry, Pip. I'll protect you."

Two movies and many screams later, you called it. You were maxed out on the spooky stuff. Halloween was long gone, and you were supposed to be in Christmas mode.

"You can get ready for bed first. I'll follow after. Eddie offered.

You slipped into Edie's hoodie and got under the covers, realizing the sweater was long enough to be worn as a nightgown. Eddie would be none the wiser that you had forgone pants.

You called for Eddie to enter, and he got ready for bed. You tried to pretend to occupy yourself as you watched Eddie get undressed and ready for bed. He pulled his plaid pyjama pants over his boxers and forgone a shirt.

There was tension in the air, but neither of you said anything. You held your breath as Eddie turned off the bedroom light and felt the bed dip as he got in.

"Pip?" Eddie broke the silence moments later.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?'

"Sure."

"Did you ever date anyone when you went away?"

"No"

"No?"

"Well...I went on one date, and he was shorter than me..." You laughed at how ridiculous it was. You didn't even like him, but you felt bad because you agreed to give him your number when you were out dancing one night, and you'd consumed a little too much alcohol.

"How is that even possible?"

"Well, you see, Edward everyone has different heights an-"

"No, you doofus," he laughed. "how is it possible you never dated anyone? You're beautiful." He says like it’s obvious.

Eddie made you feel fluttery when he called you beautiful.

“What?”

“You’re beautiful, Pip," Eddie repeated. "You’re a total catch; how are you still single?”

“Guess I never met the right guy…”

“Oh... " It was quiet for a moment then Eddie spoke again. "I know you always said you uh- wanted to you know…. Wait for the right guy and all… so have you slept with anyone since you were gone?”

“Eddie!” you cry, covering your face with your hands. You’re so mortified by this conversation.

“I’m sorry! Can’t blame a guy for his morbid curiosity.” you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“I can’t believe you remembered that. I mentioned it once six years ago.”

“I remember every thing when it comes to you.”

You felt his fingers intertwine with yours.

“Eddie…” you whisper.

“Yea”

"Ask me again."

"Are you still a virgin?"

You let out a deep sigh before you answered. “I’ve given it a lot of thought. And I want you to be my first.” you blurt out at a mile a minute.

“Pippin-”

“Just don’t go off with another girl next week or else I’m going to have to quit” you chuckle uncomfortably.

“Are you sure? Because if we start this I’m never going to want to let you go… not ever again.” He rolled over to face you.

“I’m so sure, Eddie, you’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.” You rolled to face him.

You didn’t know where this bravery was coming from. Maybe it was the combination of alcohol and being in the dark, but something sparked inside of you that you couldn’t put out.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please”

You both moved in tandem as your lips collided. Years, months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes that all lead you to this moment, this perfect moment. Eddie and you always belonged together.

“I missed you so much,” Eddie spoke into your mouth as he shifted to hover over you.

“I missed you too. I missed you so much.” You grabbed for him, to touch and feel him. Your hands gripped his hair at the back of his head.

“Baby,” Eddie sat up and slinked his hands under his sweatshirt up your bare middle.

Baby. Goosebumps spread across your body from his touch. His calloused fingers lightly scratched your soft skin, and his hands travelled further up until his fingertips grazed your breasts.

“Can I take this off?”

“Yes,” The temperature in the room suddenly increased, making you feel extremely hot. The hoodie you were wearing became suffocating.

“Sit up for me, baby. Arms up.” You obliged and felt nervous that you were basically naked in front of Eddie. You pull your arms out of the sweater and cover yourself immediately.

“No, baby, please, don’t hide from me.” He gently peels your arms away from your body. “Beautiful,” He whispers with eyes full of lust.

You reached out to cup his face so you could kiss him again. You needed to distract yourself from the fact that you were naked in front of someone for the first time. Your kisses felt rushed and needy like you would die without them.

"Slow down, Pip, we have all the time in the world." Eddie coxed you back down into the plush pillows of his bed. "I'm going to take good care of you. okay?"

You nod your head yes to let him know you understand. The room was dark, but the street light peaked through the blinds. You could hear your heartbeat along with the howl of the wind from the snowstorm. You looked over to the clock. It read 12:18am. Wayne won't be home until early morning, at least 6:00am, especially in a storm like this.

Eddie leaned forward to kiss you again, travelling his lips down your body with each peck. His mouth found your neck, and he sucked on it, making your hips jerk up into him. You could feel his erection against your leg, which only excited you more.

He made his way lower once satisfied with the marking he left on your skin. He nipped and licked and peppered your sensitive chest before latching his mouth around a perked nipple. How Eddie fantasized about this very moment for months. To him, your boobs were perfect. The way your soft skin felt under his tongue, it was like they were made for him.

You let out a squeak, embarrassed by the noises you held back. You didn't know if this was normal? To want to make sounds while Eddie's mouth discovered your body.

"Don't be shy, baby. You can let it go. Get loud. I want to hear you."

"Are you sure, Eddie? Is that like... normal?"

"Oh god, yes, it's like music to my ears... Would it make you feel better if I shared with you what I like?"

"Yes."

"Okay, well." He clasped your hand, intertwining your fingers as he rested his chin on your upper stomach. "I like it when the person I'm with makes noises; it lets me know I'm doing well. I like it when the person I'm with takes compliments and praises. I like it when the person I'm with calls me certain names, but we will save that for another time. And I like it when I get to be in charge... like right now."

"What kind of names?" You bite your lower lip.

"Ah ah, naughty girl. You'll find out eventually. But not tonight." Eddie promised.

"Eventually?" your heart perked up with hope.

"You think this is going to be a one-and-done? You're sadly mistaken, Pip." He shifted his weight and started back up, loving your body. Worshiping it with a thousand kisses. Lower, lower, lower until he reached the hem of your plain black panties.

“Has anyone ever touched you here?” His hand cupped your panty-covered cunt.

“No.” you shiver.

“I’m honoured to be your first” He slowly started to guide and move his hand over your clothed pussy, massaging it. Exploring what makes your body jerk and tick. You let out a gasp as his soft touch grazed over your already swollen clit.

"That's my girl." he cooed as his hand travelled up and under the hemline of your underwear.

His hand slid down your soft, manicured mound before finding your slit. He let one singular finger travel down your clit to collect the wetness that had pooled and dragged it back up to play with you some more.

"Oh my god," You yelped as the unfamiliar but wonderful feeling of Eddie's hands explored your body.

"You're so wet, sweetheart. This all for me?" He raised his hand to examine the clear, wet, slippery substance that coated his fingers. He then stuck his fingers in his mouth before his eyes rolled back into his head. He moaned at the taste of you.

You were curious if you should be turned on or grossed out by Eddie's behaviour. "You taste like heaven." He praised you, and your body ultimately decided for you. You were turned on.

"Please touch me," You barely whisper. You bravely started to take off your panties when Eddie's hands stopped you.

"That's my favourite part." His hands replaced yours, and he watched intently as he stripped you down into nothing.

You were now fully naked in front of Eddie. You were a bit nervous, but not overly concerned. You trusted Eddie because you've gotten to know each other better over the past six months.

"My god, you're beautiful," He praised once again. You don't think you will ever get tired of him saying that. Your heart soared each time without fail.

"So are you," You whispered back and swore you saw Eddie blush.

Eddie's hands found your needy pussy once more. He wiggled his way down the bed, and he played with your clit until his face was level with your cunt. You felt so exposed you wanted to close your legs right away. But you also wanted to know what it felt like to have Eddie's mouth on your most intimate area.

"Show me how you play with yourself."

This shocked you, and your body froze. How could he ask you to do such a crass thing? Eddie sure was pushing a lot of your boundaries tonight.

"Come on, sweetheart. It's okay, perfectly natural."

You didn't want to disappoint him, so with a trembling hand, you started to circle your clit like always. The feeling started as a mild ache in your lower stomach, but it began to rise as you continued. Your worries and apprehensions slowly drifted away as the feeling of pleasure wafted through your body.

"You never push your fingers inside?" Eddie was mesmerized by the sight in front of him.

You shake your head no. "Doesn't feel right." You were too afraid to finger yourself in the past, not wanting to push the limits; you knew how to please yourself from clit stimulation alone.

"I'm about to change that." Eddie replaced your hand with his mouth, and you cried out in pleasure. This new feeling of something hot and wet consuming your pussy made your eyes involuntarily roll back into your head.

"Yes, good girl, let me hear you." He latched his mouth back onto your clit. His tongue circled and flicked your swollen bud until you were on the edge. You were so close, then his finger slowly entered you, and that took on a whole new feeling. His fingers were longer and wider than your own. He stretched and reached further than you have ever experienced.

"Holy shit!" You cried as his fingers pushed deep inside you. Eddie was careful to go slowly. His middle finger pumped in and out of you before he added another. As his finger worked inside of you, you felt a wave of pleasure from a spot you hadn't ever felt before. It made you cry out embarrassingly loud.

"Ohhhh, good job babygirl." He chuckled smugly. Eddie knew that he had found your one spot that would make you see stars. So, he continuously grazed over it again and again.

You didn't know what was happening to you; your body was undulating under Eddie's touch. He struggled to keep your hips pinned down as he continued to devour your pussy. You couldn't think; you couldn't form words. Your brain had gone into a cloudy haze that focused only on your body and how Eddie was making you feel.

No wonder everyone raved about sex.

"Eddie, Eddie, Eddie" You didn't even know you were talking.

“That’s it, baby, say my name.”

"Eddie!" Your body clenched, and every muscle in your contract as your orgasm ripped through you. Waves of pleasure pulsed as Eddie's mouth and fingers continued to massage your pussy.

"Mmmm, that's my girl. You did so good for me." Eddie praised, and your stomach did another flip-flop at his words.

"You think you want to keep going? Or do you want to stop? You don't need to worry about me. This is all about you, Pip. Okay?"

"I want to keep going." Your voice sounded breathy, like it wasn't coming from you.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, Eddie, I want you to fuck me. Please," you squirmed.

"God, I love hearing those words from your mouth." Eddie bent down to kiss you once again.

.As he kissed you, his mouth had a tangy and slightly salty taste. He explored your mouth with his tongue, just as he had moments before with your lower lips.

"I'm going to go get a condom, okay?" He whispered again to you.

"Okay," you bit your lip with anticipation.

You watched as Eddie shuffled on his knees off the bed to his nightstand and grabbed a blue cardboard box out of his stuffed drawer. He pulled out the foil packet and pulled down his pants and boxers. Your eyes bludged at the sight of Eddie's cock. Sure, you knew what a penis looked like. However, this was your first time seeing one in real life.

"No need to be scared, Pip." Eddie gave a reassuring smile.

"Okay, Eddie," You whispered.

"You can touch me if you want?" He walked over to the bed, cock at full mast. You slowly nod your head and reach out to feel it. Obviously, it felt hard, but you were surprised by the soft skin that felt like velvet.

Eddie made a whimpering sound as your delicate fingers grazed the red tip. You jerked back your hand, afraid you'd hurt him.

"No, no, Pip," Eddie stutterd. "You're okay; it just felt really good s'all."

"Oh," you blushed. Amazed at yourself that you made him feel really good.

"Shit, okay, I'm going to put the condom on now, okay?"

"Okay," you repeated like a parrot.

"Can you lay back for me?" Eddie crawled back up on the bed and over you once more.

You popped back down, and Eddie giggled at your eagerness. He wanted to make this perfect for you, but in your mind he already had. He wanted it to be the least painful he could make it. Hopefully, your orgasm will have helped with that.

"This may hurt a little, but I'm going to go slow, and if you need me to stop or pull out, you tell me, okay?" Eddie's face had never been so serious.

You nod your head.

"No, Pip. I need your words. I need you to tell me you understand. It's important."

Oh.

"I'll let you know if I need to stop. I promise."

"Good girl."

You sucked in a breath and bit your lip at his words. Eddie took a mental note about your reaction. He would tuck it away and save it for later.

"You're already wet enough, I think. I'm going to try and put it in now okay?" Eddie kissed you tenderly and you replied.

The feeling was odd. You felt like you were being split open as your walls burned from being stretched the furthest they have ever been.

"Oh god," Your face scratched as Eddie went in deeper.

"You okay? I can stop"

"No, I can do this. Just stay there a minute." Your body needed time to adjust.

"It's okay," Eddie cooed. He peppered your cheeks with small kisses as he waited for further instructions.

"Okay, I think I'm okay." Your vagina was still tight, but it wasn't as bad as a few minutes ago.

Eddie made sure to be as gentle as possible. Even though it was killing him to not just ram into you repeatedly. Your soft, warm walls were squeezing him so good, too good.

Eventually, after what felt like an hour, Eddie finally reached the hilt. You never felt so full. The feeling was strange yet exciting.

"I'm going to move now, okay?"

He was so patient and kind; you never imagined your first time to be so guided and full of communication. You thought it would just be like boom, stick it in and start. But, no. Not with Eddie.

As Eddie started to rock his hips, the burning started to ease into pleasure. Your hips started moving and rocking with Eddie's body, and you worked together to feel pleasure. Your instincts took over as your thoughts started to numb.

"That's it, baby, fuck, you're making me feel so good." Eddie praised.

"Mmmmm," Was all you managed to get out.

Eddie took that as a sign he could go faster. Thank god he did because the moans that came from you were sinful.

"Yes, baby, be as loud as you want," Eddie commanded before latching his mouth back on the sweet spot he found earlier.

A high-pitched ""Uhhhhhnhhhh" left your mouth as you became more and more cockdrunk by the second. His thick long cock was grazing your walls, finding your g spot that he had reached earlier in the night. Making you yell out his name.

"That's it, baby girl; tell me, who owns this pussy?" Eddie gritted through his teeth, and his pulsing cock pounded into you.

"W-what?"

"Sorry, shit, sorry I got carried away." Eddie kept his rhythm as he forgot that this was your first sexual experience. He couldn't wait to teach you about all his little desires. "you're doing so good for me."

"o-okay"

Your nails lightly scratch up Eddie's back, making him shiver. You then run back down and grab onto his ass. You hugged him like a koala bear, refusing to have this feeling he was giving you to go away. You were so blissed out by it all.

"God baby, I don't think I can hold out much longer," Eddie puffed. His hips never break the rhythm he set.

"Please," you didn't know what you were begging for? You just need him.

"I got you, baby girl; you're being so good for me" Eddie felt your pussy clench down at his words of praise.

"Come on, baby; I know you can give me one more," His hand slipped between you two and found your clit once again. You were so overstimulated that with just a few mild touches, you were falling apart, beneath Eddie.

"Oh fuck, you're squeezing me so good" Eddie tried to hold off, to keep going, to keep fucking you, but he couldn't. Your pussy was so tight around his cock he emptied himself into the condom that was buried inside of you.

Your head felt like it was spinning; your body was limp and racing with those feel-good hormones.

"I'll be right back." He kissed your cheek before getting up off of you after he caught his breath, got rid of the condom and cleaned himself up before returning with a wet cloth for you. But when he returned to the bedroom, you were fast asleep.

He laid the damp cloth on the back of his desk chair and brought the covers back up over the both of you before pulling you into his chest to cuddle you until he fell asleep.

The next morning the snow had finally stopped, and the bright sunlight had peaked its way through the slits of the cheap blinds that hung in the window.

Eddie heard footsteps outside the bedroom door in his hazy, half-asleep state. He peeked in an eye to see you sprawled out comfortably in his bed. He lifted covers to see your still naked body that he didn't really get to see last night due to the pitch black. He could see the marks he had made more clearly as they had gotten darker within the night.

He couldn't help himself. Here you were naked, sleeping with him in his bed; he just had to touch you. He kissed up the side of your exposed neck, marking the other side that had been left untouched. You moaned and squirmed, then giggled when Eddie's hair tickled you.

The reality of where you were hit the second you awoke.

"Oh, Eddie," You softly moaned.

"Good morning, baby," Eddie rolled on top of you, his morning wood more hormonal than ever.

" 'Morning," you smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear before Eddie nuzzled his head behind the small of your neck.

"So I was hopin' that you'd want to go out with me, officially... or whatever?" He cleared his throat. His morning voice was so sexy.

"Or whatever?" you smiled back up at him.

"Or wha-"

"Hey, Ed's, I'm finally back-Holy hell!-" Suddenly, Uncle Wayne was walking into the bedroom, and you were screaming, trying to cover yourself, and Eddie was trying to cover as much of you as he could.

Wayne was mortified as he shut the door behind him as quickly as possible.

"Put a sock on the door next time you have company, Kid!" Wayne shouted, flustered as ever.

Eddie barked out a laugh, and you couldn't be more embarrassed.

"Oh my god, I can't go out there? Do you think I can fit through the window?" You asked Eddie before covering your face with your hands.

"Come on, Pip. I'm sure he didn't see anything; probably only saw my pasty ass." He got up and pulled you along with him.

He found your folded clothes on the chair where you had left them, but when you went to put on your underwear, they were nowhere to be found.

You got dressed without them, and Eddie pulled you out of his room hand in hand to Face Wayne.

"So I guess it was your car all covered in snow." Wayne shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he sat at the kitchen table with a cup of black coffee. "There uh- coffee for the both of ya's if you want." He offered.

"Thanks." You tugged at your sleeve, not knowing what to do. Should you leave? Should you stay? Can you leave? The show was up to your knees.

"Better make yourself comfortable; the plows will take a while to get to this side of town." Wayne made the decision for you. Eddie guided you to the kitchen table and pulled out a seat for you.

"Wayne, you remember Pippin, don't you?" Eddie smiled brightly as he got you two mugs.

"Of course I do." He smiled genuinely this time. The awkwardness was lifting.

Eddie didn't need to ask how you took your coffee. He remembered two creams and two sugar. He once said it was too sweet, just like you.

"Thanks," you smile up at him as he places your coffee before you.

"I was wondering when the two of you would finally get together... Ever since high school, I've been bugging this one," He motions to Eddie, " To get his head out of his ass and to lock you down already."

"Took him long enough, you giggle"

"Now I know you two are adults, but I don't need no little munson babies running around here just yet, so you better be safe-"

"Okay, okay, Old man, we get it. We have already had this uncomfortable talk once when I was fifteen. I don't need it again."

"Fifteen?!" your eyes blog you're off your head.

"What can I say? The ladies love them some, Eddie." he smiled cockily.

You lightly pinch Eddie's arm, so he shuts up.

"Hey!" Eddie rubbed his bicep.

I knew I always liked you." Wayne tipped up his mug to you with a smile. "keep him in line."

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Types of Adjectives

Adjectives - words that modify nouns and pronouns.

There are 13 categories of adjectives that describe the different ways adjectives can be used in the English language.

Descriptive Adjectives

Describe the characteristics, traits, or qualities of a noun or pronoun.

In English, they often are placed directly before the noun they are describing.

For example: Excited children ate delicious treats in the colorful cafeteria.

EXAMPLES of descriptive adjectives: beautiful, witty, wicked, confusing, rich, new, strange, rocky, circular, helpful, competent, smelly, stable, grumpy, devoted, smart, muscular, graceful, scary, safe, wooden, sleepy, tardy, hungry, strange, hopeful, proud, new, dainty, royal, arrogant, round, efficient, youthful, cumbersome, fickle, mild, expensive, small, rude, generous, courageous, zany, thin, round, oval, dark, hot, modern, petite, weary

Compound Adjectives

Formed from multiple words, which are usually connected by hyphens.

For example: We all enjoyed some ice-cold sodas.

EXAMPLES of compound adjectives: old-fashioned, run-of-the-mill, middle-of-the-road, heavy-duty, happy-go-lucky, see-through, easy-going, big-time, long-term

Comparative Adjectives

Used to compare two different people or things to each other.

Most comparative adjectives in English end in "-er".

In other instances, they are denoted with "more".

For example: My brother is stronger than yours.

EXAMPLES of comparative adjectives: better, bigger, older, angrier, prettier, smarter, kinder, more determined, more interesting

Superlative Adjectives

Used to compare more than two people or things by indicating which one is the most supreme or extreme.

Most superlative adjectives in English end in "-est".

In other instances, they are denoted with "most" or "least".

For example: I thought she was the most creative artist on the planet.

EXAMPLES of superlative adjectives: best, biggest, oldest, prettiest, happiest, most striking

Proper Adjectives

Formed from proper nouns.

For example: At the grocery store, we bought Mexican tortillas, German sausage, and French cheese.

There are some proper adjectives that are based on people and places that may not be capitalized if they are used as more general words, such as herculean.

EXAMPLES of proper adjectives: Viennese, Russian, Orwellian, Shakespearean, spartan, draconian, titanic

Participial Adjectives

Based on participles, which are words that usually end in "-ed" or "-ing" and derive from verbs.

For example: The frightened students ran away from the terrifying clown.

EXAMPLES of participial adjectives: burnt, depressed, surprised, misunderstood, annoying, shocking, time-consuming

Distributive Adjectives

Used to refer to members of a group individually.

For example: Both of the team captains took the time to congratulate every member of the team.

EXAMPLES of distributive adjectives: each, either, neither, any

Limiting Adjectives

Restrict a noun or pronoun rather than describe any of its characteristics or qualities.

For example: The building had twelve floors, hundreds of windows, and several unique features.

EXAMPLES of limiting adjectives: a/an, some, few, dozen, eight, thousands

Possessive Adjectives

Used to express possession or ownership.

For example: Everyone brought their own dish and my mom made her famous punch for our potluck.

EXAMPLES of possessive adjectives: your, our, its, his

Interrogative Adjectives

There are only 3 interrogative adjectives in English.

They are used to ask questions.

For example: What is the fastest way to get this done?

The 3 interrogative adjectives are: what, which, whose

Demonstrative Adjectives

Used to express relative positions in space and time.

For example: I think that color looks great on you, but this one matches those shoes better.

The 4 most commonly used demonstrative adjectives in English are: this, that, these, those

Adjectives can be in different categories depending on how they are used in a sentence:

Attributive Adjectives

Many descriptive adjectives are commonly used as attributive adjectives.

Usually directly next to the noun and pronoun that they modify.

These sentences all use attributive adjectives:

The sleepy dogs dozed on the doorstep.

A tardy student ran in as the bell rang.

We fed the hungry cat.

The strange figures appeared in the mist.

Her hopeful eyes gazed at me.

Predicate Adjectives

Some of the same descriptive adjectives that were used as attributive adjectives above can also be used as predicate adjectives.

Appear in the predicate of a sentence as a subject complement rather than directly next to the nouns or pronouns that they modify.

Predicate adjectives follow linking verbs in sentences and clauses.

These sentences all use predicate adjectives:

They are asleep.

I arrived late to work.

She felt hungry.

The figures seemed strange.

The children looked hopeful.

Source ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[detectivestucks]

Anbu Bimbo

18+ content, Minors do NOT interact

Pairing: Kakashi x Bimbo F!Reader

Summery: You always had a crush on Kakashi even back in your Academy days, however he never liked you. He doesn't tolerate idiots of which you happen to be. Even when you get promoted up to the Anbu the only use he can see for you is getting himself off.

Warnings: NSFW, Bullying, Oral sex, Unprotected penetration, slightly degrading, mild choking

Word Count: 4.2k

Anon Request

“Morning Kakashi!” You call as you wait outside the Academy for your crush to arrive 

“Go away”

He doesn’t snap at you. He just makes the dry statement as he breezes past you. Obito, who is not late for once, looks over at Kakashi with concern. 

“That was a little harsh don’t you think? She’s just being nice.”

“She does that every morning. I don’t have time for idiots like her.” 

“Geez Kakashi, she’s not the smartest, sure, but she’s really nice. And she’s kinda cute too. A lot of the guys here like her.”

“Who cares what she looks like? She doesn’t belong here. She’s the type to get her team killed with her stupidity. I don’t know why they let her in to begin with.”

“Well she’s already mastered jutsu from two different chakra natures…and she’s a decent fighter.”

“-who will wind up punching her own teammate if the enemy tells her to.”

“Okay, okay, I get it. You don’t like her. sheesh.”

Life after the Academy was hard on Kakashi. First he lost his best friend. Then his teammate, Rin. Then his sensei too. You can only imagine how hard it is for him. You will have to be extra patient. He needs it.

You like to make sure he knows you are here for him when he is ready, but that doesn’t mean you wait all alone. No, you have plenty of men to keep you company. A sweet little thing like you always has many kind companions waiting to take care of you.

The men of the village stumble over each other to fall at your feet. You have plans lined up for the next two months with many different men. They always seem so concerned about whether you ate dinner or not. It is really kind of them, truley. Some of them get you pretty flowers for your home. Some of them want to make sure you get home safely. And some of them try to help you change and tuck you into bed, making you feel good before kissing you and heading home. They really are all very kind. 

They teach you all kinds of useful ways to be just as 'nice' to them as they are to you. Having always been good at doing things, you catch on to their instructions quickly. Their happy reactions reassure you that you did a good job. You might not be very bright but you love making others happy. 

You never do end up spending time with Kakashi like you do with these other gentlemen, but that’s okay. You’re sure he’s very busy anyway. He’s so talented and already a captain of the Anbu. Little did he know, you just got promoted to the Anbu too! You can't wait to see him in the locker room on Monday and catch up. It's been such a long time and you're ready to finally be proper friends.

“Hi Kakashi!” you wave as you step happily into the co-ed locker room.

Kakashi’s red and white mask clatters onto the floor. He stops dead in his tracks once he sees you standing there in an Anbu uniform. You stand there making a mockery of the elite squadron with your bright smile and your sing-song greeting. 

“What are you doing here??”

“Lord Hiruzen assigned me! Isn’t that fun?! We work together now!”

“It most certainly isn’t 'fun.' It’s a lethal tragedy.”

“Oh uh, well I wasn’t meaning we’re here for fun. We’re here for work.” you say with a smart nod.

Kakashi rolls his eyes at you before turning to Tenzo. “What is he thinking! She’s going to flirt the information out of the enemy?!”

Tenzo places a reassuring hand on Kakashi’s shoulder. “Relax Captain, she’s not on our team.”

“Good cause if she was, I'd chidori her before our first mission.”

“Damn Captain!”

“She’s a liability and a danger to the entire team, she’d either get herself or the rest of us killed. If I take care of things beforehand, at least that’d guarantee the mission isn’t compromised.” 

The venom with which he spits these words wounds you. Finally, something he says got to you. For the first time, he managed to hurt your feelings. You begin to weep as you leave the locker room, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. 

You know you’re not smart, but you’re really strong and you’re really, really good at ninjutsu. You know a lot of them. Not like Kakashi does, but for someone without a sharingan, you're very talented. Talented enough to have the same job as him.

You show up late to your first team meeting with slightly puffy eyes. You apologize and pretend it's because you got lost but everyone already knows the truth. Kakashi made a big scene in the Hokage’s office, dragging your captain into the conversation, trying to convince him to refuse to allow you on his team. 

Fortunately the others don't feel the same as Kakashi does. Yeah, you noticed how your new team smiles at each other after you speak sometimes, but once you complete the first round of team drills together, they quickly accept you onto their squad. 

You aren't much for coming up with strategy, but you can follow orders to the letter and you have an expanse of jutsu in your arsenal. By this time, you can command four out of the five chakra natures. All they have to do is tell you what they need and you are there with the right jutsu to help.

Coming back to the locker room with a smile on your face and two of your teammates patting you on the back, you feel triumphant. The way everyone is encouraging you and excited for you to be here is more than Kakashi can bear. Has everyone lost their damn minds?! You are useless. You don't belong here. Do they actually think of you as a peer?! That’s not it, maybe just a loved mascot. It has to be the latter. That’s the only thing that makes sense. 

A week later you come back from your first mission a little sweaty and muddy. You head straight for the locker room looking to shower off before heading home. You run into Kakashi who is busy scribbling something down on paper.

“Oh, hi Kakashi!” you say in a false chipper voice. You are still hurt from your first day on the job but that doesn't mean you are going to be rude.

“Pff, what’d you trip over your own feet?”

“Huh?” you notice him glare at your muddy clothes. “Oh, uh, it got a little messy while I was covering Yougi.”

He rolls his eyes and turns back to what he is doing. Ignoring him, you slip out of your muddy uniform and wrap yourself in a towel, heading over to the showers with your toiletry bag to take a much-needed shower. 

Kakashi raises a brow while he watches you walk away. Eyes following you curiously as the terry cloth barely stretches over your behind. He feels his cock twitch treacherously in his pants. You are a moron. It is a hideous trait in anyone, especially a girl. He could never get it up for a useless nitwit like you. 

Sure you have a pretty face and shiny hair. Yeah, you have a nice figure. Has he thought about pushing your thighs apart and wrapping them around his waist when he sees you walk by? Possibly. Has he noticed how your delicate fingers nimbly handled a kunai? Potentially. Is all of that objectively hot, especially when you look up at him through your long lashes? Of course it is. But when you give him that vacant look, one devoid of understanding and comprehension, his blood boils. 

Kakashi slams down the tactical plan he's working on. Livid with himself for wanting you. He undresses and goes to the shower next to yours. The cherry blossom scent of your shampoo is intoxicating. He turns on the water in the stall, fucking his fist to the thought of your naked body waiting for him on the other side of the tile divider. Imagining how you taste and feel, your plush thighs, your small hands, your glassy eyes. He imagines ravaging it all. You, the most useless member of the Anbu, a good-for-nothing pretty face who’s only real use is a hot pussy pounding…

The intrusive thought blooms in Kakashi’s head. 

It has been forever since he’s gotten laid. Plus you’ve always been annoyingly enamored with him. Maybe it's time to make your dreams come true. He is in a generous mood after all...

Your fingers are working through your scalp, massaging the shampoo into your roots, breaking up the sebum built up from the last couple days in the woods. Your eyes flutter closed as you savor the floral smell and enjoy the self-indulgent massage. Suddenly, you feel hands wrap around your waist, as a naked man’s body presses against your back. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, this stall is taken.” you reply dumbly.

You feel the man’s face brush up against your ear. “Need any help?” he purrs with a quick nibble to your cartilage.

“No thank you, I’m good!”

“Pff” 

The disdain of the noise can only be one person, “Kakashi?”

He spins you around to face him, your soapy hair now under the spray. Suds slipping down your strands and back as your eyes blink nervously at the tall strong man leaning down to kiss your lips. Eyes fluttering closed once more, you taste a mix of minty orange as his lips press into yours. A small moan falls out of your mouth, right into his. Your mind is bewildered by his behavior, but you simply remember all the things those other guys told you men like, and you start doing them for Kakashi. 

As you kiss, Kakashi’s hands slide around your waist and up your back, possessively clutching you as he pulls your sudsy body into his. You, in turn, slide your hands up his chest, fingers digging into his muscle with one hand while the other glides up to the back of his neck. You tug him down while you push your chest up against him.

“Captain, did you…need…something…from me?” you say between kisses as you paw at his wet and naked body. He loves how you call him by his title, but he hates your stupid question. Clearly he's trying to fuck, why else would be invite himself into your shower stall?

“Yes, I need you to take care of me between missions. Okay, Bunny?”

“Am I Bunny?”

He lightly boops your nose as he whispers ‘yes’ in your ear with the most tantalizing voice you have ever heard. You pull back from him and look him in the eye through your pretty lashes, nodding in understanding. “Yes Captain, I can make you feel good between missions. I don’t mind.”

“Good, then you’ll finally be useful.”

His words hurt, but you aren't about to stop. You are good at doing things, especially when it comes to pleasing men. You know you can be helpful with this task. Plus, doing this with Kakashi of all people will be the most you’ve ever enjoyed doing it too. 

You slip your tongue into Kakashi’s mouth to lick the roof of it before nibbling on his upper lip while he sucks on your lower one. You sigh in contentment at the pleasurable feeling, tightening your grip around his neck. You push into him, pinning him against the wall. But only for a second, cause he takes control and spins you around, pinning you against it instead. A small gasp escapes you upon impact with the cool tile. You see a devilish grin spread across his cheeks. He has never smiled at you before. You feel the heat rise on your face as he does. Your stomach feels light at the sight of him, if that makes sense.

You slip one hand up to his wet silver hair while the other tauntingly trails down his abdomen. You look down at his nakedness, soaking in the view, periodically tilting up to kiss him as your hand slides its way towards his manhood, your fingers settle themselves around the thick base of his shaft and tighten their grip. 

You look up at him as you close around his length, letting your doe eyes gaze at him to gauge how tight to hold. He looks at your hand, then at you, breath shuddering as you stroke up and down. You let the fringes in his hair tighten, forcing a groan out of his mouth. How you know exactly how to touch him is an unexpected surprise. He assumed you only knew jutsu; apparently not. He really has narrowed in on your main talent. 

You begin to grind on his thigh while you stroke him up and down, fingers still tightly tangled in his hair. Your small little whimpers close to his ear, a medley of sensation and sound overtakes Kakashi's senses. The way you're touching him is perfection. 

“Fuck Bunny, keep doing that. Keep going.” 

“Yes Daddy.”

"Fuuuuuck" of course you start calling him that. It's like you're reading his desires before he has them.

Kakashi reaches towards your tits, allowing them to fill his hands. They fit perfectly in his palms. He closes his grip, watching the fat protrude between his fingers, licking his lips at the sight. He almost can’t believe he didn’t take advantage of you sooner. You're stupid but damn, you know your way around a body.

You continue to stroke all the way up to the tip, tugging on it slightly with a small twist of each pull. You notice Kakashi’s thighs tighten and his toes curl. Those are good signs. He’s enjoying himself. You tilt your head up for a kiss and he closes his eyes, leaning in, complying to your silent request. He's being so good to you.

He feels pulled in by your soft lips. Normally, he’d detest showing such affection towards someone like you, but your hand feels too fucking fantastic wrapped around him that he can't help but drink you in. Sucking on your lips, nibbling your tongue. He toys with your mouth, forecasting how much he wants to play with your body. 

When he releases the kiss, he places his hand on top of your head and slowly pushes you down to your knees. You locked eyes with him as you sink down. Hand still stroking, you pucker your lips to give light, feathery kisses to his tip on every side. Mmmm. You have always wondered how he tastes, and unsurprisingly, it's a salty tang of healthy pre. 

You center in front of him, eyes gazing up as you let his tip rest on your lower lip. His stare locks onto yours, dawn into you with anticipation, anxiously awaiting your next move. You delicately stick out your tongue and slip it under the weight of his head as you widen your mouth to allow him to slide down your throat. The guttural groan that pours from Kakashi’s breath fills the steamy room.

Just the visual alone is one out of a porno but the way you swallow him expertly is above anything another woman has done. You are an idiot but you knew your way around dick. You're a fantasy come to life. 

Bobbing up and down along his length you hollow your cheeks, keeping the suction as your larynx restricts around his tip. Kakashi draws breath through his teeth, resisting the urge to come.

“That’s a good girl. Good job Bunny. Take daddy’s dick in your mouth.”

You blink with your big innocent orbs and give a small ‘Mhm” as you continue to pleasure him. He shudders at the vibrations hugging his tip when you make the sound, and you love how spellbound he is under your skills. You want to please him. It's the first time he has ever praised you and you don't want it to stop.

“Lemme fuck your face.” he declares, his voice deep.

Mouth full of cock, you nod and release the suction. Dropping your jaw open a little wider and relaxing your throat, you prepare for him to begin ramming himself violently down your hatch ready to rip your vocal chords apart. You don’t dare try to close your lips around him and risk grazing your teeth on his flesh. No, you are a good, obedient girl who keeps her mouth open to please her daddy. Jaw held wide, even as it hurts, cause all you want is for him to praise you.

A sickening grin spans his face. He shifts both hands to run through your wet hair and grips your scalp before holding you down on him, squishing your nose flat into his stomach. You hold your breath, relieved that you have excellent lung capacity from your time as a ninja. When he feels you begin to gag and constrict around him he lets you go, allowing you to rock back on your heels as a string of spit connects his tip to your open and panting lips. 

Reaching down, he smears the spit all over your face, taunting you.

“Filthy, filthy Bunny. You like sucking dick don’t you?”

You silently nod your head yes. Especially cause it's his.

“Of course you do.” he says with a sneer. 

Kakashi grabs you by your bicep and brings you to standing, pushing you against the wall of the shower stall in a feverish make-out session. No one has ever sucked his dick like you before. He's ravenous for your mouth. That talented, beautiful mouth. That skilled tongue. Those cute little noises. He can’t get enough.

With quick reflexes, he lifts one of your legs, threading his arm under your knee before lifting your second leg in the same manner. Your entire body weight is supported by your legs draped over his arms while his chest and mouth push you against the slick, wet tile. He moves with dexterity. Never parting from your lips as he manipulates you into an open position that allows his cockhead to easily sink between your folds.

As he pushes his mushroom tip past your lips you sing out a breathy moan. He's inside of you. Pushing past your tight walls that close around him, welcoming him to a home that has been waiting for years to greet him inside. 

“Oh fuck Bun, I fit inside you so good. S’like you were made for taking this dick.”

The praise rings through your head, causing you to tighten around him. You earn extra affection as he continues to devour your lips while initiating a slow pace in your wet cunt. 

The way he’s kissing you is messing with your emotions. It feels like he is falling in love with you. Men have always been so nice and kind to you. They always compliment you and make sure you feel extra good. They say how lucky they are to be with you. But how they kiss you does not match the way Kakashi kisses you. They never have this much passion or this much need. You feel his want for you in your chest and you can’t help but moan into his mouth under the sensation.

Your arms around his neck tighten as you feel yourself slip down the wall, settling even deeper onto his manhood. Kakashi plants his feet, ready to drive his hips up into you with all the pent-up frustration he has felt towards you over the years. Your stupid questions. Your dumb faces. Your idiotic comments. Your blank stare when he yells at you. Your constant smiles aimed at him for no good reason. He loathes you and now he is fucking that loathing right out of his body. Your little pussy deserves this pounding. It's payback for the years of annoyance, ever since the Academy. You're a good-for-nothing little slut and now he is using you like one. 

Your tight walls clench around him as you cry out in pleasure. Your flexibility acts as your strongest ally in the compromising position he has you in. 

“Kashi, need…more.”

He lets out a malicious chuckle before letting your legs down. He pins you against the wall with one hand on your throat. 

“You need more, huh?”

You gaze up at him with pleading eyes. 

“You don’t wanna seem ungrateful now, do you Bun?

You silently shake your head ‘no’

With his free hand, Kakashi turns off the shower and pushes against your shivering, wet body, kissing you as he runs his other hand all over every inch of skin. His hands run along the goosebumps erupting from the cool air seeping past the shower curtain and over your canvas. That same air causes your nipples to stiffen against his chest. 

Kakashi feels down your back and sinks his fingers into your plush behind, kneading the muscle between his long digits. You whimper into his mouth as one of your hands feels down his spine while the other runs through his hair. 

He slides his hands south to the backs of your thighs, bending his knees slightly as he lifts you up and wraps your legs around his torso. He carries you to the main part of the locker room and lays you down on the bench.  

Bending his knees, he lines himself back up to slip into your velvet walls once more. He begins thrusting at a gallop, allowing his balls to loudly slap against your wet cheeks as he pounds into you.

“Oh fuck Kakashi! It feels so good!”

“That’s it Bun, take every inch.”

You arch your back off the bench pushing your chest into him, veins coursing with ecstasy. Your fingers dig into his skin leaving behind little crescent marks from your nails. Your knees fall open while your ankles hook around his back.

He set off at an unrelenting pace, ignited by your squirming. One hand lay firmly on your neck, to hold you still, while the other winds under your back and grips you at the waist. He wants to make sure you have nowhere to run. He slams his hips against yours viciously, and all you do is melt and mewl in his arms. 

“Thank you Daddy, thank you!”

“Shit. Fuck. Shit.”

He looks down at where your bodies connect, enthralled with how good you grip him between your folds. It more than makes up for your lack of brainwaves. He needs to claim you for himself. He doesn't want you stretched out by any other man. You are going to be his personal fleshlight.

“This fuckin tight pussy’s mine now. K, Bun?”

Your head nods as your entire body is shoved up and down on the bench from the intensity of his strokes. If he is gonna use you like this, who needs those other men? They are nice but this is heaven. 

You continue to bounce off of his thighs as he snaps his hips up into you. He lifts your legs into a press with one hand while maintaining the pressure on your neck with the other. The rough nature of his frenzied battle with your sex has you close to drenching him with your squirt. You feel the build in your lower stomach. Your body, sensitive to any small change. If he alters the speed of his pace, even a little, it'll be enough to make you snap. 

Instead you feel the pressure of the weight around your neck increase and the feeling goes straight between your legs. The blood reroutes from your face and instead rushes to your clit. Suddenly your legs are twitching and trapped, sandwiched between his chest and your own. Spurts of warm fluid gush from your core.

The corners of his mouth tug up; the command over your body and the abuse he can inflict upon you for his own pleasure is enough to make him giddy. More selfishly than ever, he begins chasing his own orgasm even as you quake from sensitivity. Your hands fly from behind his neck to your own face, as you claw at your forehead and scalp, trying to cope with the tingling sensation all over your body. You can’t grab onto him for stability because he’s moving too violently. 

“Gonna fill you up good. M’kay?”

“Gaaah! Yes, Daddy!” you scream

He wraps his palms under the tops of your shoulder blades and curls his fingers up over your shoulders. Holding you steady as he pumps his sticky ropes into your precious slit, painting the interior white. He pounds into you, punctuated by masculine moans. Then he stills, his length twitching inside of you as he allows himself to go soft. 

Resting his forehead against your own, he pants as he admits,  “Fuck Bunny. I don’t think I’m gonna get enough of this. I already want more.”

Lowering his mouth, he continues to kiss you like a starved man, acting as if he didn't just spend the past thirty minutes devouring you.

When he finally releases your lips he whispers low, “You’re coming back to my place. I’m not done with you yet. That’s an order.”

He stands up to his full height, quickly wiping off his dick with a towel before changing into his clothes. You hastily brush your hair before changing into clothes of your own, ready to follow him as you rush over to his house. You may be stupid, but you were always good at doing things, and tonight you are doing things with him…on repeat.

Masterlist I Anbu Bimbo 2

[steviewashere]

Anything For You

Rating: General CW: Minor Mention of Body Dysmorphia, Seahorse Pregnancy (If You're Not Comfortable With That Sort of Thing? Not Sure If This is a Real Content Warning, But Best To Be Safe) Tags: Post-Canon, Set in the 1990s, Dialogue Heavy, Established Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Domestic Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Trans Steve Harrington, Pregnant Steve Harrington, Seahorse Dad Steve Harrington, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Comfort No Hurt, Eddie Munson Takes Care of Steve Harrington, Massages, Steve Harrington Loves Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington Loves Eddie Munson's Hands, Eddie Munson Loves Steve Harrington, Sappy Steve Harrington, Sappy Eddie Munson, Steve's Weird Pregnancy Cravings

🫃—————🫃 He flips over, clumsily, to try and get more comfortable. The pillow pressed into the shape of his body is not helping, not even when he fluffs it with both fists.

It had been a long conversation, trying for a baby. A lot of questions—Are you sure you’re ready for this; Are you okay for the changes your body has to go through; Will you let me love you even if you find it hard to accept that I do?—and there had been only one simple answer (with minor hesitance on his end)—Yes. Of course, yes.

And, so far, he hadn’t fussed too much about what he saw in the mirror. In the first few weeks, sure he did. How the roundness to him now wasn’t just fat building, it was a life growing within him. A life he had been eager to bring into this world, all things considered. The dysmorphia hadn’t gone away completely—it never has, probably never will. Seeing his toned muscles turn to gentle chub, the way his hips had shifted, those curves he chiseled away had come back tenfold. There were the stretch marks and the whole…thing with his now outward belly button. Sometimes, truthfully, he felt like an alien in his own body. The changes happening out of his control, sitting idle at his console, letting the changes take their course.

Nine months of sacrifice, that’s what it was.

Only a handful of months, though, out of a future of happy years. Of a child’s curiosity, interspersed with giggle fits and pillow fights, late night book readings and last minute science projects, cuddles on the couch and popcorn between the cushions, and smiles with gaps—aimed at him; oh, aimed at him.

Steve hefts himself from the mattress, shoving the pregnancy pillow to the side. His feet are throbbing, ankles swollen, everything of him heavier and clumsier than before. Hell, Eddie had told him to stay in bed, just to see if he could get the swelling to go down. But his back aching something this fierce—so horrible it’s like somebody’s standing on his spine with combat boots—he needs it to be fixed, and he only has one solution that comes to mind. Eddie’s sweet, sweet, beautiful hands.

He trudges through the hallway, past the bathroom (in which his bladder gives a phantom of a cry), towards the living room. Where, as soon as he begins to round the corner, he can see Eddie hunched over their coffee table like a gargoyle, paints and other tidbits laid out. Ah, he’s catching up on some painting, he realizes.

As soon as he can catch his breath, Steve leans against the end of the couch, hands pressed into the small of his back. “Eds?” he calls quietly, “can you help me with something?”

Immediately, Eddie is tossing his paintbrush down, scrubbing his hands on a nearby rag. It’s already been through some mishaps, if the poor stains on it have anything to say. His eyes land on Steve, big and cowed, eyebrows disappeared behind his bangs. The rest of his hair is up, loose strands framing his picture-perfect expression of worry. “What’s going on, baby? Need me to make some ginger tea?”

He shakes his head, presses his hands firmer against his spine. Steve groans at a particular sore spot. “Can you give me a massage, please?”

“‘Course, sweetheart,” Eddie murmurs, “let’s get you back to”—

“The bedroom’s too stuffy,” he whines. “Maybe we can put on a movie and you can do it out here? Maybe also with a plate of cheese and crackers? With some pickle juice in a glass?”

Eddie chuckles. “I can do that,” he agrees. “Why don’t you take my spot and I’ll get all that for you? Want some ice cream, too? I got your pint of Cherry Garcia.”

“Oh god, yesss…You know how to spoil me, y’know that?”

In one swift motion, Eddie stands from his spot. He rounds the couch, stops in front of Steve, and gently guides him to the cushion. Leaning down again, he presses a quick, warm smack to Steve’s temple. “Anything for you, sweetheart. You’re doin’ all the hard work.”

He settles deep into the couch cushion, leaning himself awkwardly on the armrest. It’d be better if their sorry excuses for throw pillows actually had some give to them, but they’re stiff and starchy. Putting them in the wash is added to his ever expanding to-do list; a list he won’t ever get around to, or if he does, it’s Eddie doing all the work. Tidying the place, nitpicking about the dust nobody’s ever seen, restocking the higher shelves of their pantry because, and Steve will remember this remark from Eddie, “I don’t want you somehow giving our child a genetic concussion.” And when Steve had barked back that that doesn’t happen, he only got a terse jaw clench and a nostril flare for his combativeness.

Needless to say, Eddie takes damn good care of him. It wouldn’t be hard to convince him to grab a comfier pillow from their bed. However, that seems to be unnecessary as he comes swinging back into the living room, his arms laden with the necessities.

“Alright, here is your makeshift charcuterie board”—a large platter, it must be their turkey serving platter, is clattered onto the coffee table—“I added some of those sliced black olives and a few pieces of deli meat, just in case you needed some more savory. There’s a still frozen pint of the finest Cherry Garcia; careful, sweetheart, it’s rock solid. A glass of iced pickle juice, just so you won’t be grossed out when it goes room temperature. And…da-da-da-da-daaaa”—Eddie sings that last bit, removing something that’s stuffed in his left armpit. The something in question is Steve’s pregnancy pillow, still warm from both their shared body heat—“a sweet cushion to replace that stupidly firm one you’re trying to get comfortable on. Figured it’d be nice to put under your head while you’re leaned down for the massage.”

The pillows are swapped out. In the firm one’s place, the pregnancy one is fluffed and squished until it perfectly cushions Steve’s heavy head. He turns himself so that he can rest down into the pillow, forehead pressed gently into the give. It’s barely warm and soft, meeting him in all the places it’s needed. He sighs. Mumbles, “You’re amazing.”

“Mm, I’m perceptive,” Eddie says, “hardly anything to write home about.”

“I love you to bits and pieces.”

“Love you, too, sweetheart,” he whispers. A warm hand trails across Steve’s shoulder blades, fingers gently knuckling along the knobs of his spine. “What movie were you thinking about? Your pick.”

Steve shifts his head, peeking over his now folded arms. There’s a low haze that settles over him, fuzzy and sleepy as shapes are blindly traced over his soft t-shirt. Blearily, he eyes down their video shelf next to the set. All packed in tight, tens and tens of movies for them to pick from. “What’re you in the mood for? I won’t really be watching, probably.”

“Let’s see…” Eddie meanders towards the shelf with Steve briefly mourning the loss of touch. He then crouches down with two noticeable pops from his knees, his soft fingers trailing along the sharp corners of the video protectors. He plucks a couple from their resting spots. “I was thinkin’, for you…something like…Ghost, or maybe Jerry Maguire, or…we could do Coneheads?”

Steve scoffs. “Ed, if you turn on Coneheads, I’m making you sleep on the couch tonight.”

He hears Eddie click his tongue. Then, he nods. “Duly noted.” Coneheads gets slotted back onto the shelf—even if, really, they should be putting it into the overflowing donation box near the front door. Oh well, Steve thinks, problem for another day. Eddie peruses their shelf for another moment, pulling out a couple more videos. “How about Sleepless in Seattle? Or we could even watch”—

“Jerry Maguire. I don’t think I can watch anything with Tom Hanks in it for a long while.”

“Y’know, I should’ve considered that after we saw Forrest Gump. That really did you in.”

“I almost left the theater after Jenny…god, just thinking about it makes me wanna sob. Get over here and make me feel better.” He loosens one of his arms from its tight hold around his head, hand desperately calling out for Eddie. However, his little call is ignored as the movie is slipped through the slot of the VCR. It gently clicks in, whirring as it’s seemingly rewound. The TV’s input is switched over with another set of clicks before a mirage of color is flashing before him. If he squints, he thinks he can spot Tom Cruise’s stupid shiny smile in the mix of it.

Eddie snatches the remote from the entertainment center, standing in place at the middle of their living room, hip cocked and arm wrapped around his torso as he waits to press play. Then, finally, the movie begins with Eddie reclaiming his spot next to Steve.

Before he can comprehend the change of pace, there’s a gentle tap to his back.

“T-shirt off, baby,” Eddie whispers, “do you want me to grab the lotion real quick? Might feel nice.”

Steve sits back up reluctantly, grunting as his spine is strained. He peels the stupid shirt over his head, though, and promptly tosses it to the carpet. “You gonna get my stretchies, too?”

There’s a tickle over his hips, the tips of Eddie’s fingers tracing the shiny edges of stretch marks. “Do you want me to, sweetheart? Y’know I can do it, it’s no problem.”

“They’re on my front, too, though.”

Gently, Eddie’s palms lay over those same sides. He cups his hands, running them up and down the lower half of Steve’s baby bump. “I’ll redo your pillow and everything if you want me to, Stevie. Massage your marks with one hand, hand feed you cheese with the other…kiss you between bites…tell you how wonderful I think y’are.”

Steve sniffles, bending back down to rest his forehead on the pillow. “You’re too nice to me,” he whispers.

There’s a quick peck to the center of his back. Murmured against his skin, “Because you deserve it, sweetness. You deserve all the nice things.”

“Ugh,” he groans, reaching down to squeeze tight at Eddie’s right hand. “You’re gonna make me cry, Eddie. You know that I’m crazy hormonal right now.”

“I’m telling the truth, though and you know it.”

“Just…just get the lotion, Eds, ‘fore I completely lose it.”

The couch groans as Eddie stands up from it. His shadow looms over, but then he bends down, warmth swallowing Steve whole. Another kiss is pressed to him, his exposed right temple this time, and his hair is petted at sweetly. “I’ve gotcha, baby. Nothing else I’d rather do, only wanna take care of you.”

“Eddie…”

Before he can do something silly like reach out and swat Eddie’s hip, he hears footsteps retreating down the hallway. The bathroom door is creaked open. “I’m gettin’ it, I promise!” Eddie calls out, “but I’m also takin’ care of you, cause that matters most to me! You know that!”

“You’re a sap!” he shouts back, “and I’ll cry, so stop it!”

Quickly as he left, Eddie is back beside him. His hands rub together, dry as they are, warming them up. “Mm, what if I thought you were beautiful while you cried, huh?”

“That means you’re being a meanie, making me cry on purpose.”

“I don’t mean to, Stevie baby. I’m just being honest.”

Steve sighs as Eddie’s warm hands lay flat to the center of his back. They don’t move, merely just remain. But even then, the touch alone, it’s enough to relieve at least a little tension. Though, realistically, that tension’ll be back by the time the movie’s over. “I know you’re being honest,” he mumbles into the soft fabric of his pillow, “it’s part of the reason why I love you.”

“That and my hands, I’m sure. Y’really love my hands.” As if to punctuate that, Eddie digs his thumbs deep at the knobby edges of Steve’s spine. Slow, though. Precise and gentle.

“Oh, you have no fucking idea how much I love your hands, Eds. If I wasn’t keen on marrying you, I’d leave you for just your hands.”

Eddie gasps dramatically. “Scandalous,” he exclaims, “what would our kiddo think of that?”

“Mmm,” he hums at a particularly good release. Steve takes a deep breath before he continues, recalibrating. “They’d probably think your magic hands give the best hugs. ‘Cause I think our baby’s gonna like hugs. You’re gonna be huggin’ us all the time. No choice.”

“Oh no…my family loves my hugs, how dare they? And they don’t even give me a choice? For shame.”

“You love it, Eds. You’d give all of yourself as soon as they asked for one.”

Eddie’s hands leave him, reaching over with a quick pump from the bottle of lotion. In the air, Steve can smell it, a light trace of lavender. “That I’d do, you’re right. Y’know what I think they’d want the most from you, though?”

“Hm?”

“Your laughter,” he answers softly and reflexively, “they’d go running to you with a new joke just because they know you’d laugh at it.”

Gently, Steve turns his head so he can get his words out clearer. “Yeah? You think so?”

“I know so. You’d start giggling and then they’d start giggling and then I’d come in, both of you would be on the floor in pure hysterics! Just laughing so hard you’re crying and your faces are red and even just looking at me would make you guys snort.”

“But then you’d be out of the joke.”

“Mm, yeah, well…I don’t need to be part of every inside joke. Think since you’re doing all the hard work carrying the kid, maybe you two deserve a little private stand-up show of your own, yeah?” The lotion is cold when Eddie begins finally smearing it over Steve’s skin. His touch is just as soft as his words. Light, almost airy. Carefree in a, somehow, completely caring way. “Where does it hurt the most on your back, sweetheart?”

“Everywhere,” Steve says, “but the lower back might be a good place to start. Think the bump is carrying lower or something.”

Without more direction, Eddie’s hands are already moving down. The first grind of his knuckles into tissue and Steve’s a groaning, relieved mess. “Breathe for me, baby. Deep breaths,” Eddie coaches. He does as he’s told, earning soft praise in murmurs and whispers. Then, “We’re getting closer.”

“Yeah,” Steve sighs. “’T’s kinda…kinda scary-exciting.”

“No more back pain, though, think about that. You’ll push and try and break my hand, but afterwards? You won’t be in constant, consistent, almost overbearing pain.”

He nods into his pillow, watching Jerry Maguire in near-blindness. Only a haze, lost in the feeling of the relief he’d been searching for all day. “No more massages,” Steve mumbles, “this feels fucking fantastic.”

“Just ask,” Eddie whispers, fingers walking up Steve’s spine. His knuckles are deep, kneading, yet still so careful. Like he’s too afraid to go too hard. Even then, Steve won’t push him. This is nice as is. “All you gotta do, baby, is ask me when you need help. Sucks that it took a whole damn pregnancy to show you that, but…hey, at least you’re finally asking when you need something.”

Steve huffs. “Well, I kinda have to when I can’t bend down to pick up a dropped sock or even tie my own stupid shoes.”

All at once, he can feel Eddie shift. Bending down to look him in the eyes. Wide-eyed and insistent before he sits back. “I like that you’re doing it, sweetheart. Okay? I want you to want my help. So…you want a massage after the baby comes? Cool, great. Consider it done. Lavender lotion and a charcuterie board and I’ll be at your side with my crazy awesome hands.” Eddie’s fingers trail again, though this time they’re connecting something. My moles, he realizes. Making constellations. At a particular spot, Eddie taps it and leans down, kissing the mark. “Even if you wanted me to make you a milkshake at fuckin’ midnight because you were having a crazy craving, then so be it. I’ll use some Cherry Garcia and everything. Just say the word.”

“And if I wanted my pickle juice right now?”

Without words, Eddie is bending forward. The scrape of the glass cup, ice clinking away at the sides, fills the room. “Sit up for me, baby.”

He does. And in one, gentle motion, a straw is brought to his lips. Steve sucks down greedily. There’s tang and acidity on the back of his tongue, something barely sweet on the tip of it. It’s the most quenching thing he’s had, the ice helps, too. Breaking away with a gasp, Steve smiles loosely over his shoulder, met with a close-lipped soft one of Eddie’s.

“Good?” Eddie checks.

“You’re a genius for the ice. It’s so cold.”

A snort. “I know you, sweetness. We’d be sipping ginger tea if that pickle juice went warm even the tiniest bit.”

Steve scoots on his cushion, pressing his right side against Eddie’s left knee—still sitting half-criss-cross on the couch, facing him. He smiles at Eddie, soft around the edges, but all his teeth. It squints his eyes. Bunches his cheeks. It’s easy on him, never forced when under the sweltering gaze of Eddie’s half-bared soul. Bursting, he says, “You’re gonna be such a great dad, y’know that?”

Eddie tilts his head, assessing. “Oh, yeah? How’d you figure that?”

“I don’t know, just…you…you think of ways to care about people without them even knowing what they need. You’re just…you’re honest, you care, you’re sweet. If I was doing this with anybody else, I think I’d be scared out of my damn mind. Just completely terrified.

“With you, though, with you I’m cautious, but excited. I’m…

“I’m safe. And I think we all need that.

“You’re gonna be a great dad. You were meant for it. Cosmically or whatever, you were meant to be right here, right now.” He slides a hand over Eddie’s left knee, squeezing with all his might. Teary-eyed, he still smiles. And with the touch, the warmth, the feelings, Eddie places his own hand down, soft palm against the warm back of Steve’s hand. Their fingers interlink. Tight and secure like puzzle pieces always meant for the other. “Even if it means guiding a straw for pickle juice into my mouth and hand feeding me white cheddar and letting me be a teary hormonal mess on our couch.”

Leaning forward, Eddie rests his forehead against Steve’s. His right hand goes to the baby bump, thumb sweeping in wide, horizontal stripes. There’s an easy, soft intake of breath as a rolling, slow kick meets his touch. “You’re gonna be perfect,” Eddie murmurs, “even when your emotions are haywire and even when you say the wrong thing at the wrong time and even when you think you aren’t. Everything about you, Steve, is perfect to me. Your laugh and your smile, the way you breathe, how you dance to any song on the radio, every mole on your back, the softness of your touches…

“Steve Harrington, you’re the perfect man. You’re gonna be a perfect dad in that beautifully imperfect way.

“Because you’re you. And I love you with everything in me and…

“Shit, I think I’m gonna be the one to cry if I sit and think about it all right now,” Eddie admits, voice wavering. His hand presses more firmly to Steve’s bump, not enough to hurt, but just enough to remind the whole world that it’s there. “I’d do anything for you, even if it means putting ice in pickle juice. Even as gross as that is, I’d do it all for you.”

Steve sniffles, burrows his forehead further into Eddie’s, as if they could possibly get any closer. “Kiss me?” he softly requests.

No words, no hang-ups, no buts—

Eddie’s lips are salty with newly shed tears. Warm. Firm, yet soft as they glide like butter on Steve’s. It’s not hungry. No, this is full. Sweet like a dessert you didn’t think you needed, but wanted anyway. Candid like a movie. Gentle in all the ways only whispered words know how to be.

It’s them.

He pulls away, not far, but just a hair of space. Quietly, “Will you help me with my stretch marks and cuddle me?” Steve asks.

“I’d dance on stars with you if you asked,” Eddie whispers, “‘course I will.”

🫃—————🫃

[kkpaaw]

Ed n Edna would have adopted Lloyd in a heartbeat if they had found him before the show started I'm right and you're all wrong

They would be such good parents for him man but Lloyd would likely be overwhelmed at first LOL

Going from having no parents looking after you to having two very loving and dotting parents would be jarring and he wouldn't know how to handle it

Meanwhile u have Jay who would be annoyed as shit at first having this random little kid here disturbing his peace having to share his room with(i mean going from being an only kid with ur own room ti having to share it with a random new child would definitely be annoying), but at the same time he kinda likes it cuz with Lloyd around and needing more care than him his parents aren't as overwhelming and suffocating to him anymore (not to say they neglect him, I would never suggest the amazing Ed n Edna would do such a thing)

Lloyd would have no trust in them at first and would be very reserved believe that they want something from him in exchange of giving him a place to sleep and food

(Doesn't help that Jay is being cold to him in the beginning)

So he woudl be doing what he usually does to push folks away, be annoying as shit and cause problems. He's certain that all these problems he's pulling will eventually cause Ed n Eda to drop the "masks" he's convinced they have and reveal what they want,

But it never happens.

They never snap at him, or yell at him, or hit him. The most they do is lightly scold him heck they more often scold Jay who tends to be the one getting angry at him

Despite all lthe trouble he causes they never withhold food, or threaten him. They still treat him with the same level of kindness they had since the beginning and he doesn't know how to handle it.

Is this really real?

Do they really care this much about him?

The thing that finally had Lloyd accept all this was real and that they do want him was the day Edna gave him Mr. Greenbean

A little green stuffed Pig that Edna made herself to go along with Mr. Cuddlywomp, Jay's lil stuffed horse

Lloyd Loved that pig the moment he laid eyes on it and he couldn't stop himself from crying.

It was the first gift anyone has ever gotten him and was made with such love and care

They really do want him....

From then one Lloyd slowly started to adjust to his new life. His pranks, while never fully stopping did die down and were less..destructive.

He still had one problem though that kept him from fully adjusting to this new life

Jay

.

The moment that finally tips Jay and Lloyd's relationship from hostile to...something is when Jay walks in on Lloyd having a panic attack over breaking something in the kitchen

Lloyd(who had finally gotten used to having a stable home) had awoken early In the morning thirsty so he went to get a glass of water. He tried to do it in the dark as to not disturb anyone but had accidentally knocked a glass over shattering it.

Jay woke up not long after him hungry as he usually is at that time of day and noticed Lloyd was missing and then heard the glass shatter

Worried he ran into the kitchen only to see Lloyd on the ground crying nnd panicking as he tried to pick up the glass but in his panick all he was doing was injuring himself with the glass

Jay managed to calm him down and help aide the cleanup as well as providing first aid to Lloyd. They ended up having a loong conversation about Lloyd worries I nwhich Jay told him some insecurities he himself had

After that well

Their relationship was different

Jay didn't feel so negative about Lloyd anymore and Lloyd starting feeling more comfortable around him. They actually started to hang out and realize how much they had in common

It was... nice

(He did slip up and call Ed dad one time which made Ed literally cry but thats besides the point-)

Lloyd felt safe and happy for the first time in a long time. He wouldn't give this up for the world.

And then a random old man found Jay while he was testing an invention and everything changed

[stevesbipanic]

To my most lovely @undreaming-fanfiction Happy Valentine's Day love youuuu 💕💕💕 I hope I managed to do all three of your prompts justice (small routines, learning new things about each other, and ghosts of your past) ENJOY!!!!! And Ty @artbean for putting this together 💕💕💕

After five years together there's not a lot of things Eddie doesn't know about Steve.

He knows that Steve likes to colour co-ordinate the calendar on their fridge and that his favourite day of the month is the first since he gets to write out everything on a clean slate.

He also knows that Steve has a particular way he does his hair, and that it was a big deal just seeing it done let alone being taught how to do it, it helps he now knows Steve loves a good head scratch.

He knows that Steve is an early riser and always goes on a run, but will shower and curl back in bed with him if Eddie is still asleep.

He knows that there's an order to how and when he checks on their family. The Sinclairs are first, making sure he's waited until Lucas should be back from training and Erica back from Tracey's, calling there too if there's a sleepover. Next is the Wheelers, Nancy promising him they're all ok if they're visiting and Mike letting him know if she's available that night if she's at college. Then the Hendersons, Claudia inviting him to dinner in the background as Dustin regales his day. Max is next, letting Steve know if she wants to stay over that night. The Byers are the end of the kids, El and Will promising him it's really over. Wayne is near the end, back from his shift safe and sound. Before they dated Eddie was during this time too, helping him to sleep just hearing Steve's voice. Robin is last and she'll be on the line until they're both safely in dreamland.

Eddie loves learning new things about Steve, especially when now they're further and far between. It comes as a suprise when it's something as simple as tea that teaches him something new about his sweetheart.

They're visiting Steve's grandma, who was a lot cooler about the whole boyfriend thing than Steve's parents were.

"Your grandpa, Otis, had a friend, Freddie, who kept a picture of his boy in his pocket, would've gotten him in a lot of trouble back then but love like that was worth dying for."

She had been I'll lately so him and Steve had taken a drive up to visit her, now living in a retirement home in Indy. She was a riot in Eddie's opinion, and made a mental note to make sure they visited her more, he was happy to drive them, anything for Steve.

They were halfway through a game of Scrabble, where Eddie had successfully convinced Steve that Megadeth should be allowed (it shouldn't), when the question was raised.

Edith, yes Eddie also got a delight out of the fact that they shared a name, buzzed her nurse who popped her head in knowing there were visitors.

"Everything good, Eds?" Eddie's eyes twinkled in mischief, he was teasing Steve about the name similarities when they got home.

"A spot of tea, darling? I'm parched and I'm sure these lovely boys are too. Steve, sweetheart?"

"Oh yes, milk and two sugars please, but cubes on the side instead of scoops of it's not trouble."

Eddie's heart skipped a beat at his answer, "Eddie, you want a tea?"

"Oh um, yes, same as him, please ma'am."

"Such polite boys, we need more grandsons like you visiting," she laughed leaving to make the tea. It was surely just a coincidence that Steve took his tea like that, he's sure plenty of people do.

The real suprise came when the tea was set down, cubes on the side, and Steve picked one up and mixed it in, leaving the other alone. The game continued, Eddie eyeing that lone cube, a similar one on his own saucer. When Steve took his last sip of tea he picked up the cube and popped it into his mouth, crunching it. Eddie did the same.

"Done that since you were a kid, always a sweet tooth."

Steve laughed, "It's how my nanny did it when we played tea party with Carol."

Edith smiled, "She was a lovely woman, shamed they moved outta town."

Something settled deep in Eddie's heart. The rest of the afternoon it sat there, and through the goodbyes and hugs, all through the drive home too.

Eddie didn't mention it as they made dinner, Steve doing the chopping and as always Eddie dutifully stirring. The feeling sat there through the night as they watched tv, curled up in a blanket built for one not two. Nothing was brought up as they cleaned up, Steve washing, Eddie drying. It wasn't until bed, in the safety and quiet of their room that Eddie asked.

"Your nanny? What was she like?"

Steve's eyes lit up, "Oh she was the best, noone as good before her and no-one as good after. She loved taking me to the park, sometimes if his dad said it was ok her son would come too, he was fun, built the best sandcastles. She always baked me cookies too, especially if Carol was coming over for a tea party. And she would tell me the little extra sugar was a treat and that I should always have something a little sweet in life."

Eddie's eyes were tearing up by the time Steve finished, "Eds, baby are you ok?"

"What was her name?"

Steve's eyebrows crinkled, "Sarah, why? Oh." He said, remembering the dark curls that surrounded her face, the ones on her son, the boy laying across from him.

"Your mum, oh Eds, so when the tea? I'm sorry." Steve knew about his mum and how when she died it left Eddie all alone.

"Can't believe in five years, we've never had tea," a wet chuckle followed Eddie's words.

A sad smile graced Steve's face, "We should have more, need a bit more sweetness in my life."

Eddie smiled at him, "Knew there was a reason I called you sweetheart, and I clearly won you over with my awesome sandcastles."

A laugh burst out of Steve and that sound was sweeter than any sugar Eddie could eat.

[justmeinadaze]

Little Girl Gone Part 5 (Steddie X You)

Warnings: Soft Dom Officer Harrington/ Soft Dom Gangster Eddie & Sub Fem Doctor Y/N, SMUT, overstimulation, dp, light spanking, light choking, aftercare.

ANGST! Reader gets caught in a lie, someone threatens her relationship with Eddie, Reader gets punished for lying, mentions of exes, mentions of Eddie's dick dad, Cliffhanger ending! *evil laughs*

Word Count: 6385

Series here

Steve sighs from his desk at the precinct as he scans through boring paperwork. This is the part of the job he hates. It reminds him of being dragged to his father’s office to “see how the family business is run”. Even as a kid he knew the corporate world wasn’t for him. When he enrolled in the police academy, his mother cried and his dad raged, screaming about how he abandoned his responsibilities. He didn’t care though; he wanted to do something good, not just with his life but for the city around him. 

He never expected to fall in love with a criminal nor did he indeed to. To him, Eddie was everything he wasn’t even though the gangster always commented about how similar they both were. After his breakup, Steve hardened his heart and became bitter as he focused solely on the job to avoid the pain he was in. In one 15min car ride, Eddie broke through that barrier and in that moment the officer knew he would do whatever he could to protect him. 

His phone vibrated and he grinned when he saw the message was from you. 

George Carver is investing in my clinic! Oh my God. I can’t believe he’s still willing. 

I can finally get better supplies and give my staff the bonuses they deserve.

That’s amazing, sweetheart! You deserve it. :) 

If you need anything else just let me know.

I’m so happy for you, honey. We should celebrate tonight!

I should be out of here on time.

“Steve, there’s a man in interrogation room B asking to speak with you.”

The officer nods towards his colleague, exhaling as he stands and heads that way. When he enters the room, his eyes rake over the seemingly agitated young man as he takes a seat across from him and opens the file that was given to him. 

“Gabriel Wiley. I heard you wanted to speak with me.”

“Is that camera still broken? The few times I’ve been in here it was never fixed.”

“Why does it matter, Gabe? Something you don’t want my captain knowing?”

“No…it’s something YOU don’t want him knowing.”

That gets the officer’s attention as he shifts his gaze towards the man in front of him. He wasn’t like the usual people brought in or who came in with a tip that could help. Gabriel was well dressed from top to bottom in an expensive looking suit but seemed as if he had been pulling on it from stress as the tie was missing and the top few buttons were undone. 

“I don’t have time for this so if we can get on with it—”

“I need Edward Munson to stay away from Y/N.”

Steve blinked in surprise as he folded his arms and leaned forward. 

“How do you know Y/N?”

“Does THAT matter? She’s not safe with him and as his friend I would imagine you would want to keep the peace between everyone.”

“Are you threatening him?”, the officer growled.

“No… but the people I do business with could do some damage to them both and I don’t want that. You have three days, Mr. Harrington.”

As the man stood up, Steve flew from his chair, grabbing the man’s collar, and roughly pushing him against the wall.

“If you hurt either of them, I swear to God, they will never find your body.”

Gabriel nods as if accepting that this will be his fate as he pats the officer’s arms, signaling to let him go. 

“Nothing will happen if she stays away from him.”

***

“Stevie, you’re finally here! I got champagne and Y/N put some food in the oven so oddly enough you’re right on time—”

“Do you know this man?”, he interrupts as Steve shoves his phone screen in your face.

“What? No. Why?”

“What about you, Ed?”

Eddie takes the phone and gives it a good once over.

“I’ve never met him but other gangs in town hire low level people all the time. Garth and Jeff know better than to do that on my side. I don’t like having people I don’t know in my organization. Why, babe? What happened?”

The officer sighs as he throws a file on the counter that his boyfriend opens and sifts through. 

“Gabriel Wiley came in today asking for me by name and said that you needed to leave Y/N. We had three days or else ‘things would happen’.”

“What THINGS?”, the gangster grumbled low in anger.

“I don’t know. We need to find out who he is working for. It looks like he’s done some petty crimes…did about 6 months in Hawkins Pen…”

“Maybe I should talk to him…since it seems to involve me and he doesn’t want me with you.”

“That may be exactly what he wants. No, Y/N, just stay with me for the time being, ok?”, Eddie practically pleads as you nod. 

The three of you try to still celebrate the evening with both men drinking way more alcohol than they should. You knew better, pretending to sip more than you actually were. After they passed out, you slithered out of their hold to scan the file Steve had brought home with him. 

Gabriel had been arrested numerous times like the officer mentioned for things like disorderly conduct and theft. He spent 6 months in jail for robbing a store in Eddie’s territory but since then he hasn’t seemingly been in any trouble. 

Grabbing your bag, you slipped out of the loft, down the back stairs, and headed for your car. 

###############

Gabriel answered the door when you knocked in just his sweats and a shocked expression. 

“Y/N, what are you—”

“What are YOU doing, Gabe?”, you asked in annoyance as you pushed past him into his home. “Why are you going to police stations to threaten the life of a gangster?”

“Why are you dating one?!”

“That’s none of your concern! You’re the one who refused to get your life together!”

“Oh, so you upped your game from blue collar criminals to full on murderers?”, he asked as he leaned against the back of his couch. 

“Fuck you! I’m finally happy and with someone who cares about me—”

“And I didn’t?!”

You both heavily sigh as you place your hands on your hips. 

“Why did you threaten me and Eddie to Steve today?”

“I didn’t threaten you. Someone is upset that you’re with him—”

“Who?”

“I can’t tell you. I’m not even supposed to be talking to you or that cop but… Y/N, I loved you. I never stopped. Even after I went in and you dumped my ass. I told myself when I got out I would grovel at your feet but then things happened…I needed to keep you safe.” His eyes meet yours with sympathy for a moment before they flood with anger. “You need to leave and you need to leave Edward Munson, Y/N, or else.”, he growled as he grabbed your arm and started pushing you towards the front door. 

As he swings it open, he gasps as he comes face to face with the gangster himself.

“You know, I had a feeling you were lying when you said you didn’t know him but I’m kind of disappointed that you thought we were stupid enough to fall for the ‘feed them alcohol till they pass out’ trick.” Eddie’s tone seemed calm but even you could tell he was furious. 

While you both backed away from him and he slammed the door shut, you backed into a broad chest that genuinely startled you. 

“Or else what, Gabe?”, Steve asked as he continued to step forward making the other boy stumble to the side as he backed you into the gangster, his eyes never leaving yours. “She needs to leave Eddie or what?”

“This is…I told you to…to talk to them. This is a bad idea, Steven.”, Gabriel huffed in what sounded like fear. 

“You lied to us. Why?” When your jaw clenched in defiance, his fingers pinched your cheeks. As the other man moved to defend you, Eddie pushed him to the ground and placed his boot on his chest. “From what I heard, he sounds like an ex, is that right?”

“Yes.”, you spat. 

“Why did you lie?” When you didn’t respond, he backed you into the wall and hovered his face in front of yours. “You are in a lot of trouble so I would skip the theatrics and come clean now. Why did you lie?”

When you push at his chest, his hand comes back around to grab your bicep and pushes you a bit roughly onto the couch. Helplessly you watch as both men grab your ex and throw him on the carpet in front of you as Eddie punches him hard in the face. 

“You said someone didn’t like that they were together. Why?”

“Go ahead and kill me. If I tell you everything, I’m dead anyway.”

The gangster hits him again as Steve grabs a chair from the kitchen and places it in front of you as he straddles the back. 

“Why did you two break up? I heard him say you left him. Why?”

“Does it matter?”

“It does because we asked. Now I’m starting to get annoyed with having to repeat myself so this is the last time I’m going to ask. Why did you two break up?”

“If you hurt him anymore I’ll leave you both, Steve.”

“B-Both? You’re with both of them?”, Gabe asked in surprise as his head fell back against the floor and he chuckled. “Jesus, this is way worse than I thought. Are you fucking him to?”, he asked Eddie whose eyes darkened at the man’s tone. “Just fucking kill me, Munson. I barely have it in me to kill the woman I love let alone a fucking cop.”

“Gabriel, what are you talking about? Did Jason Carver send you?”, Eddie asked as the man continued to smile before sighing. “Hey! Focus! Who do you work for?”

“Hawkins Penitentiary. Three years ago. Cell block G.”

The gangster’s eyes swiftly met his partner’s as he releases his hold on your ex. Promptly rising to his feet, he flies out the door with Steve following hastily after. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

Leaving the man on the floor, you run after them finding them arguing back and forth as the officer tries to stop Eddie from getting behind the wheel. 

“NO! You can’t confront him right now!”

“Steve, this is completely different then the Jason thing. I need to know why. Keep an eye on her and don’t let her leave my place. I don’t care what excuse she gives you. We’ll deal with her when I get back.”

Pausing for a moment, Eddie turns to give his boyfriend a passionate kiss before getting into his car and speeding away.

###############

Steve paces as he waits for his partner to come back. It had been over two hours since Eddie left and the officer was getting restless. 

“Steve—”

“Don’t talk. I don’t want to hear it.”

Thirty minutes later the door to the apartment opens as the gangster strides in with heavy shoulders as he sighs.

“Are you ok, honey?”, the man asks as he cups his face in his hands.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I straighten everything out but…”

“Is Gabe going to be ok?” Their eyes shift your way as you rise to your feet and place yourself in front of him. “Eddie…”

“I made a deal to keep you both, well Y/N, safe. I told his employer I’d dispose of him myself.”, he relayed in a calm demeanor as his chocolate hues never left your face. A heavy exhale left your lips as the tears began to flow. 

“Please tell me you didn’t…”

“I didn’t. I gave him some money and one of my guys is taking him to the next state over so he can get on a plane to leave the country. He fucked up but I guess we were lucky he was fucking in love with you.” Glancing towards Steve, he continued to relay information. “He was supposed to kill her to get back at me for ‘ruining his business’. Asshole is super fucking petty; always has been. Seems he doesn’t know about you. I’m surprised Jason hasn’t told him.”

“Who was he working for?”

Both men glared your way before the officer produced his handcuffs flashing them in your direction. 

“Are you going to answer our questions or are we doing this hard way?”

Fear dances through your eyes before they harden and glare right back.

“You said you would never use those tactics on me. That you would never hurt me.”

“That’s correct.” 

Steve lunges forward taking ahold of your arm, clinging to you tightly as you wrestle against him. Eddie drags a chair to the living room where you are placed and restrained as you begin to cry tears of frustration. 

“You can say ‘red’, Y/N, and we would stop right now. We meant what we said…we would never hurt you or use those methods to get you to talk but we know other ways.”, the gangster explained as he placed himself on his knees in front of you. 

They both waited for you to use the safe word, minutes passing as his eyes scanned your face. After a while, he nodded towards the officer behind you and you listened as he rummaged around the area behind you while Eddie cupped your face in his hands to try your tears. 

“Am I allowed to be rough to?”

The gangster couldn’t help but chuckle as his fingers began unbuckling your jeans so he could pull them down.

“You kind of are already by making this harder than it has to be. I don’t understand why you didn’t just tell us the truth. But sure, sweetheart, give us what you got.”

“Don’t mock me.”

“Or what, little girl? What are you gonna do?”

“What is it with you and chairs? Why do you always try and intimidate people in one? Is it so you can feel bigger than them?”

“We can move you to the railing if you’d like so you can stand.” After he nods again behind you, you wait as you feel Steve begin to uncuff you. 

“5 bucks, Munson.”

“You’re on.”

You had no idea what they were talking about but as soon as you were free your foot pushed against Eddie’s chest as you bolted for the stairs. Your plan was to gain the upper hand in his bedroom with your back to a wall but you should have known better. Steve did this for a living. 

You barely made it two steps before his arms were wrapping around you and pinning you to the floor. As he straddled your waist, he held your wrists down as you tried to wrestle back against his hold. 

“Told you.”, he sang. 

“I didn’t think she’d actually try and run. Fight back maybe but.”, Eddie laughed as he replaced his boyfriend’s grasp on your arms and dragged you the rest of the way towards the stairs. “Always surprising me, princess.”

Steve restrained you again to one of the rails behind you with your limbs above your head. You continued to try and kick him with your legs but when his hand came down hard on your behind you stopped. Almost too delicately, he removed your panties and you watched as he opened a decorative box, pulling out a new pair. Sliding them up your body, you shivered as the pads of his fingers traced your skin. 

You knew immediately something was off as the crotch area of the lace felt a bit heavier than a normal pair of underwear. 

“I actually bought this for you a while ago and saved it thinking it would be a fun anniversary present or just something to utilize as you walk around the loft.”, Eddie grins in amusement as he takes a seat in the chair you were previously in. “Now, let’s try this again, Y/N. Why did the two of you break up? He seems to still be in love with you so I imagine you did the dumping.”

Your jaw clenches as you turn your head away from them. Both men sigh as something beeps and the panties you were wearing come to life. As the little vibrations play with your clit, you glare their way again.

“Fuck you.”

“This thing is pretty nifty. I spent a good chunk of cash on it so I’m hoping it makes you feel really good, baby. See, we have this remote here that controls the setting and it can vibrate at 4 different levels. The one you’re feeling right now is that first one.”

Your eye lids flutter at his admission as your defiant features falter slightly. If this was the lowest setting, you were in trouble. 

Locking his intense eyes with yours, he presses the next setting.

“Fuck.”

You expect them to throw more questions your way but they remain silent as they watch you get slowly built up before your first orgasm washes over you. 

“Why did you two break up?”

As you shake your head, Eddie bumps it up to the next level making you whine. By your fourth orgasm, you were a mess, your legs weakly thrashing about as you tugged on the cuffs around your wrists. 

“I’m losing my patience, Y/N, especially since this is the easiest question to answer out of all the ones we have. WHY did you two break up?” Growling in annoyance Eddie began to reach for the next setting before you cut him off. 

“NO! No, please. He went to jail. He went to jail.”, you cried as you felt the build up again. 

“For robbing a store?”, Steve asked and you nodded. 

“What? Couldn’t wait 6 months? Doesn’t really give me hope if I go in.”, the gangster replied sarcastically making you angry. 

“It wasn’t his first offence. He had been getting in trouble off and on for years. I warned him! I told him if he got in trouble again I’d leave.”

“For years, huh. How long were you together?” They watched as your head hung as the coil snapped again. “You know what, Ed, I’m kind of hungry. Why don’t we go to kitchen downstairs and come back in about an hour—”

“2 years.”, you cried. “We were friends in college before we-we started dating.”

“Color, Y/N?”

They marveled at your defiance even in your current state as you spit in their direction. 

“Green, sir!”

Stomping your way and tired of your attitude, Eddie beckons Steve to release you and as soon as he does you fall into his arms, clinging to his neck as another orgasm ripples through your body. 

“Why didn’t you tell us you knew him?”

“Please, Eddie—”

Moving part of the now damp silk out of the way, he slide two of his fingers into your core and pumped them at a fast pace overwhelming your senses as you circled your arms tighter around him.

“He said he still loved you. Do you still love him?”, Steve asked sternly as he kneeled beside you both. 

“NO! H-H-How could you ask me that?! After everything I’ve done for you!”

“Then why did you lie?!”

“I didn’t want you to hurt him!”, you shouted as you trembled against him, soaking his fingers. 

You feel Eddie move around as you continue to cling to him before the vibration between your legs abruptly stops. Laying your head against his chest, you listen to his heartbeat and use it as an anchor to slow your breathing. 

“He worked for my father.” Leaning back, your eyes widen at the gangster’s admission. 

“That’s most likely why he never came back to ‘grovel at your feet’.”, Steve added. 

“I don’t understand. He only did…little things like…stealing cars and—”

“That’s how my dad started.”, Eddie sighed. “Why do you think he’s so fucking sloppy? Even Gabe was sloppy. Fucking walking straight into a police station to threaten me to a cop? Friend or not that’s a bad idea, not just for himself but for Steve. Probably why my dad’s been using him for small favors. They met during those 6 months, Y/N. He was in a different part of the prison but Allen made a deal with some of the guards to have him moved. He had originally intended to punish him for breaking into a store in ‘his’ territory. He likes to pretend it’s still his in there.”

“As a trade so to speak, instead of killing him they used him to do things on the outside. I wouldn’t know about it because I don’t care about petty crimes like robbery especially since no one got hurt. For things like that, I let Steve do his job.”

“Why…why would your dad want me dead?”

He smirks to himself as he answers.

“Because I’m happy. You see, sweetheart, it REALLY pisses him off that not only am I in charge but I’m a way better leader than he ever was and he knows that. If he had known about Steve, he probably would have sent someone a long time ago. Hopefully not the same guy because as you saw…he couldn’t do it.”

“And he’s not going to kill Eddie because too many people would turn on him including his uncle. Wayne’s not a violent man but he’d kill anyone who hurt his nephew.”

“When I went down there I didn’t tell him Gabriel was your ex but he already knew. Said that the asshole didn’t stop talking about you to grunts that were loyal to my dad. Fucking idiot…”

“Especially for a man preaching that he wanted to keep you safe.”, Steve murmured.

“Which is probably another reason he made a deal with me to kill him. A ‘your life for his’ trade so to speak. Y/N, I need you to understand that it took EVERY ounce of energy for me not to follow through.”

“Why didn’t you?”, you whisper. “Especially since you think I still love him.”

Their jaws clenched at your accusation as Eddie heavily exhaled. 

���I told you, little girl. I don’t enjoy killing people. If I don’t have to then I don’t.”

“Yet you wanted to?”

“Of course, I did. He could have gotten you both killed. Gabriel put you in danger and put Steve at risk. In this business, babe, sloppiness like that either puts you in jail like Allen or gets you killed and if I decided to kill him I would still have been able to sleep at night.”

It was your turn for your face to harden once more as you pushed yourself out of their embrace and utilized the rail to get to your wobbly feet. 

“Now who’s lying? Do you think I’m stupid? Yeah, maybe, that’s part of the reason you wanted to kill him but I know you, Eddie. I also heard you on that first night. ‘No one touches what’s mine.’ It fucking kills you that he still loves me, doesn’t it? If you could remove the ‘competition’ you would.”

Getting to his feet as well, the gangster stalks towards your pants and panties, tossing them roughly at your chest.

“You want to fucking leave and go be with that asshole? Have at it. Hell, I’ll even drop you off myself. We can take Steve’s cruiser that way we can get you there faster and away from us.”

“What about you, Steven? Could you have killed him out of jealousy?”

“In a heartbeat.” You blinked, taken aback by his answer. “I heard him yell at you saying that you ‘upped your game’ or some bullshit to a gangster but do you know the real reason you stay even though Eddie and I do way worse? Because we fucking care. For three years, Y/N, he’s been doing whatever Allen told him without question yet he supposedly loved you but when you begged him to stop doing what he was doing he didn’t. When he got out, he could have done the same thing Munson just did for him and ran away with you but he didn’t.”

“He didn’t give a fuck about you. I’m sorry, honey, but it’s true. We…” Steve gestures between him and Eddie. “…we do. We could have killed Gabriel. He could have brought him back here and we could have fucking tortured the hell out of him for threatening you but we didn’t because it would have hurt you. You asked us not to so we didn’t.”

“You’re right, Y/N. Like Steve, you are mine and no one hurts or touches what’s mine but that doesn’t mean Iwant to be the one to hurt you. I’m not vindictive like Allen and you’re not my possession. You’re my partner.”

“OUR partner.”

“Now, little girl, you want me to be honest? Here it is. Yes, the thought crossed my mind of following through and killing him especially when I think about him saying he still loves you. When he had his hands on you when he opened the door… He had the audacity to touch you… Fuck, I wanted to break his legs and tear him in half. Steve could have helped hide his body and then remove any evidence that he had any contact with us. I pictured it over and over on the drive back here…but I didn’t…because I love you.”

When your gaze shifted towards Steve, the officer shrugged as he nodded. 

“I loved you since the first sassy thing came out of your mouth. I fell in love with you that night after Andrew. You let me take care of you, fell asleep in my arms, and I knew then I didn’t want to let you go.”

“If…If I asked you to give up this life…and run away somewhere with me…would you?”, you ask in a small tone as your head slightly hangs. 

You’ve done this dance before and the answer killed you.

“You robbed a fucking liquor store? Why?! What did you need so badly that—”

“Y/N! I don’t have time for this! You’re my one phone call. Now I need you to come bail me out and—”

“With what money, Gabe?! You promised me. You promised me you would shape up and stop doing shit like this!”

“With what money, babe?”, he replies sarcastically. “You think college is fucking cheap? You think a house, marriage, and all that comes free?!”

“Well thankfully none of that is your concern anymore!”

“What?”

“I’m done…”

Gabriel releases a breathy sigh before responding again.

“Y/N, baby, please… I can do better. I’ll be more careful and—”

“Of course.” 

Your head shoots up at Eddie’s answer as Steve nods as well. 

“I’d never ask you to do that… I know people depend on you here.”

“I know, sweetheart.”, the gangster whispered. 

“So, what’s the plan, honey?” You look at the officer in confusion before he turns around and grabs his keys. “Are we driving you to where Gabriel is?”

Your head shakes as the day hits you and you start bawl. 

“Can we take a break, please?”

“Yeah, baby. It’s been a rough night. Do you want to go home?”, Steve asks and again you shake your head. Slowly, he walks forward till he’s inches in front of you. “Y/N, are you in that vulnerable headspace we talked about?” When you nod, he lifts you into his arms and you promptly wrap your limbs around him as you rest your head on his shoulder. 

You heard the long-haired boy pass you as he went up the stairs and the officer followed with you in tow.

“Honey, do you want to take a bath or anything?”

“I’m sorry I lied.”

“Thank you but, baby girl, that’s not what I asked.”

“I’d like a bath, please.”

You cling to his neck as he holds you waiting for Eddie to finish getting everything together and places you down gently in the warm water. Closing your eyes, you heavily sigh.

“I love you to…both of you…so much. I-I-I’ve wanted to say something before but you two have been together for over a-a year. The three of us have been seeing each other for a couple of months. I didn’t want to scare you off or—”

Fingers grabbed your chin as a cigarette tasting mouth met your own.

“Always be open with us, sweetheart. Always. Say it again…please.”

You chuckle through your tears as he smiles against your lips.

“I love you, Eddie and Steve.” 

As their kisses become more heated, you feel yourself becoming desperate to have them make you theirs. 

“I want you both…please…”

“Y/N, you need a break.”, the officer chuckles at your earnestness. 

“I had one. I’m ok. Please, please, please. I need to feel you both inside of me.”, you purr as your hand strokes his cock causing him to groan a bit. 

The gangster leans forward and kisses your shoulder as your breathing halts at the sudden intrusion of his thick fingers in your ass. 

“Have you ever done this before?”

“It’s…It’s been a while. Shit, that feels…amazing.”

Steve grins as his lips tenderly run along your chin to your neck and you cling to him as he guides two of his own fingers deep into your cunt. 

“Jesus, Eddie. She’s so fucking tight. I don’t think this little pussy can take much more.”

“Nooooooo, Steve. Please.”, you whine. “I can take it. I can take it. I can…”

“Fuck, sweetheart.” Climbing out of the tub, the long-haired boy splashes water everywhere and wraps his arm around your body to lift you off his boyfriend, carrying you haphazardly back into the bedroom. Your soaking wet frames trench his mattress as he lays on his back behind you and situates you with your back to him straddling his waist. 

“I’m gonna hold my cock…and you just…lower that sexy ass onto it…as slow as you need to.”, he panted.

Nodding, his length twitches in anticipation as you hold your cheeks open giving him a good view before gradually beginning to take him in.

“Oh. O-oh, Steve?”

“I’m right here, honey. You’re doing so good. I got you.”, he cooed as he rested his palm on your hip in front of you while his other caressed your face. “There you go. Just take your time, pretty girl.”

It felt like an eternity but when your hips finally connected with the gangsters, you carefully leaned your back onto his chest noticing then that his eyes were closed. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just…trying not to cum early.” He smirked when you giggled. “You feel so good, Y/N. Your ass is just fucking choking my dick.”

Steve noticed your pussy flutter at the man’s words and he can’t help himself, leaning forward and licking a long stripe through your folds making you shudder. 

Inching towards you two on his knees, he reared back and spit onto your clit, rubbing it in with the tip of his cock, teasing you before he guided himself into your entrance. 

“Ah…God fucking damn it. I told you, Y/N…tight.”

Your head fell back as you begun to feel overwhelmed with the feeling of them inside you. 

“St-Steve, baby, I-I-I can feel you. Fuck I’m not gonna last long.”, Eddie whined causing the officer to bite his bottom lip as he thrust his hips at a faster pace. “What about you, princess? Are y-you alright?”

You didn’t respond, you could barely catch your breath let alone think. Ringed fingers circled around your throat as your mouth fell open and the officer’s deep voice pushed through the fog. 

“He asked you something, little girl. Are you in pain?”

“No.”, you murmur.

“Do we need to stop or slow down?”

“N-No. Please. Fuck me.”

Steve couldn’t help but chuckle as his head hung and both men moved at a faster, harder rhythm. Eddie’s palm looped around to massage your tit as the other boy’s thumb reached down to play with your bundle of nerves. 

A sudden feeling you had never felt before ran through your body and crashed into you like a wave. You screamed as you trembled, panting heavily as the coil in your stomach aggressively snapped and your felt something wet drench your lower half.

“Jesus fucking… Christ.”, Steve stuttered as his hips stopped moving and he dug his fingers into your waist as he came. 

At the sight above him, Eddie couldn’t hold back any longer as he hugged you to him and with a few more pumps released his seed inside of you. 

“D-Did…Did she…?”

“Yeah. Yeah, she did.”

It took them a few seconds to realize you had started to quietly sob into the pillow beside you and as carefully as they could they pulled out of you, moving your hair back so they could see your face. 

“Hey, hey. What’s wrong, honey?” Are you ok? Was it too much?”

“T-T-That…That’s never…never happened before… It just…felt so good. Did I ruin the moment?”

“Oh, sweetie. No, no not at all. That’s perfectly normal. Well…not for us…Aren’t you a doctor? You’ve never—OW!”, Steve gasped when his boyfriend smacked his bicep, widening his eyes as if to tell him to shut up.

“Y/N, what my idiot is trying to say is we’ve never made a girl…squirt…before. Geez, it sounds kind of crass doesn’t it?”, Eddie laughs making you softly smile. “You didn’t ruin anything, sweetheart. That was actually really sexy. Did you see what you did to him? Turned him into a teenager again.”

Steve grins as he blushes and lays down in front of you, placing a light kiss on your nose.

“I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t ruin anything.”

“No, you didn’t. I’m, um, I’m really tired though…heavy.”

“I can imagine but we can’t fall asleep with the bed in the state it’s in.”, Eddie jests as he gets to his feet and gently lifts you into his arms. “Babe, I’m going to give her a quick shower. I have some clean sheets in that closet back there.”

The officer bounces out of the bed and kisses his partner before placing a soft one on your cheek as you keen into the gangster’s neck. 

You’re so blissed out and exhausted, everything moves in a blur as you feel warm water on your skin, Eddie’s gentle touches, and the comfort of soft, clean sheets. 

“I’m sorry I lied to you. I swear I’ll never hurt you like that again.”

Arms circle around you as both men nuzzle their faces into your skin.

#######################

“Please be advised, going into Munson compound in 5.”

Steve’s eyes blink slowly open at the sound of his radio cackling.

“Shouldn’t Harrington be here? This is his case.”

“Well, maybe, he’ll actually answer his phone next time.”

Eddie’s head lifted as their eyes met. Reaching for his phone, he sent a message before getting out of bed and smashing it against the wall. 

That startled you awake but Steve’s palm over your mouth silenced you from making any noise. After making a shushing motion with his finger, he pointed towards his radio. 

“3 minutes till entry.”

Pushing against your back, he ushered you out of bed and quickly threw some of Eddie’s clothes over your naked body. Once you were situated, he hastily threw on his own clothes, and grabbed his gear along with anything else that would incriminate him as the three of you hurried down the stairs. 

Tugging on his hand, you pause as you show them a text message you got around 3am that morning. 

“Y/N,

I’m sorry for how things ended with us. I loved you and I was so fucking stupid for letting you go. I should have fought for us but I robbed that store instead. I knew Allen wouldn’t me go and I knew if I ran back to you, he would use you against me like he did with Eddie. 

He seems like a good man but I’m sorry, babe. I can’t let him to get you killed. 

Don’t be with him in the morning and don’t warn him. 

It won’t matter, trust me. 

Run, Y/N. Hell, take the cop with you if you have to have one of them but stay away from anything Munson. 

You have no idea what they’ve done…what they’re capable of…

I love you, 

Gabriel

“You were right…I should have let you--”, you whispered.

Eddie yanked your arm cutting you off and cupped your cheeks as his lips passionately kissed yours. 

“One minute to entry. This is it, guys.”

“This isn’t my first rodeo, pretty girl. I’ll be ok. I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you to.”, you cry as Steve pulls you two apart and pushes you towards a vent he had pried open. 

The gangster shrugs, fighting the tears that want to push through. 

“I’ll find out what they know. It can’t be much.”

“Enough to storm my building. They’ve never done that before.”

The officer grabs the back of his boyfriend’s neck as they kiss and hug each other tightly. 

“Everything’s going to be ok, honey. I promise. I love you so much.”

“I love you to, my paladin.”

After you climbed in, Steve followed and Eddie hurriedly closed the grate behind you two just as a loud explosion filled your ears. 

You both watch through the window of metal as the gangster cleared his throat and his face hardened as he listened to the sound of officers screaming as they banged against his front door. 

“You’re going to follow me, ok?”, Steve whispers as you nod but as he turns to move, you freeze as you see Eddie raise his hands in surrender and the door loudly bursts open. 

Officers scream at him to get on the ground, grabbing him, and pinning him to the carpet as they handcuff his hands behind his back. 

“Come on, guys. You know I like it rough but this is ridiculous.”, he joked.

“Shut the fuck up, Munson. You’re in a lot of trouble”, Detective Hopper scolds. 

Lightly tugging on your sleeve, Steve motioned for you to follow with the gangster’s sarcastic chuckles echoing behind you. 

###############

@5tud10-54r4h @munsonzgf @eddiesguitarskills @supraveng

@lilaclazer @ima1986 @micheledawn1975 @foreverminliv @corkadymu

@lemme-slytherin-that-dick @joannamuns9n @dashingdeb16 @sashaphantomhive @corrodedcoffincumslut @aactuaaltraash @nailbatanddungeon 

[chuckeroo777]

Laios got Eaten AU Chapter 86-Finale

Chapters 1-52, Chapters 53-85

Welcome back! It's time to bring this to a close! Expect the chapter format to break down once we get into it!

As always, a spoiler warning for pretty much all of Dungeon Meshi. Let's go!

Chapter 86:

The first bit is mostly the same, except since the pearlipede isn't a weapon, there is no seppuku scare.

Flamela, as usual, has no chill. While she knows Falin isn't to blame, everything is still majorly f***ed. She starts blabbing about what needs to be done now, filling in the hole, evacuating everyone, preparing a substitute lord...

A substitute lord. Falin grows very quiet, a vacant look in her eyes. Marcille knows it all too well. Falin is thinking hard about something.

After a long pause, Falin looks to Marcille. There is an almost frightening intensity in her gaze. An intensity Marcille has only seen once before.

Falin declares that she knows how to stop the Demon for good. She must become lord of the dungeon.

Everyone immediately freaks out. This is clearly an awful idea, and Falin is failing to elaborate.

Before they can get Falin to explain herself, the Demon makes itself known in it's giant form. The raw intensity of Falin's desire has it intrigued.

Falin doesn't say another word as the lion grabs the tower and swallows it whole, the rest of the party completely freaking out.

Chapter 87:

Identical

Chapter 88:

Once they arrive in the bone zone, Falin goes to approach the lion, but Marcille stops her. What exactly is she planning?

Falin takes a deep breath, before wavering, and then grabs Marcille in a tight embrace. Falin begs Marcille and the other's forgiveness for what she is about to do.

Falin kisses Marcille on the lips. Marcille is left stunned for a few seconds too long, and Falin runs off before she can stop her.

Realizing that Falin is about to sacrifice herself, everyone runs after her, but it is too late. Falin stands before the Demon, and states her desire.

"Make me the Lord of the Dungeon. However it has to happen, I desire the power to keep everyone safe from you. Forever."

They watch in horror as the Demon wraps its wings around her, and they both vanish from sight.

Chapter 89:

The demon's pocket dimension starts to shake. The bones begin to swirl and collapse. As the party is dragged under, they catch a brief glimpse of a massive figure rising from the bones. A familiar face, now sporting five hourglass eyes.

Marcille and the others fall into the water. They panic as they are helped up by Namari and the others. Falin did... something. And isn't coming back.

The original chapter structure breaks down completely here.

Nobody is given a chance to process this news, as the dungeon suddenly starts shifting again. Whole swaths are pulled back underground, and the hole in the ceiling begins to seal back up. The dungeon is reverting into it's previous form.

Many of the groups get separated in the panic, and people are dispersed across the dungeon.

Once things settle down a little, Marcille, Senshi, Chilchuck, and Izutsumi find themselves in the fifth level, back in the castle town, on the street were the red dragon fell.

Marcille breaks down into tears, the totality of what has happened finally sinking in. Senshi and Chilchuck have no idea what to say, but do their best to comfort her. Even Izutsumi reluctantly offers a hug.

After a little while, Chilchuck suggests that they should probably start heading for the surface. It shouldn't be too hard, since by sheer luck (or perhaps the dungeon's will), their bags and equipment ended up with them here.

As they awkwardly prepare to leave, they are interrupted by the sound of wings. The Laigon swoops down, and lands in front of them.

There is a moment of panic, but then they realize that the chimera isn't attacking. Laios is so happy to see his friends again, though, he is a little confused. His memories under Thistle's control are hazy, and his vocal cords are malformed, making it tricky for him to talk much.

Marcille and the others are overjoyed that Laios is alright, though the reunion is definitely bittersweet. Laios is devastated to learn that Falin sacrificed herself. But ultimately, they all need to keep going, to honor her memory.

They begin to make their way up the dungeon. Laios is excited to finally be able to assess his new body in his right mind. The dragon's soul is still there in full force, but it's controllable, just like when Laios was first revived. He only wishes his sister was here to see him finally fulfill his dream.

The dungeon is oddly calm, with the monsters keeping to themselves, and there being more fountains and food (Such as patches of Barometz and mandrakes) to be found.

As they progress, they run across more people. They meet up with Toshiro, Namari, Kabru, and Thistle on the third floor, and Laios is quick to apologize for his actions. Kabru immediately throws Thistle under the bus, pointing out that it's him who should be apologizing.

Thistle does not apologize.

After a few days travel, they make their way to the first floor. It is much bigger and more spacious than before. Everyone has met up here to discuss what happens next. Laios sits by the well to conserve his strength. He probably won't be able to leave the dungeon in his current form.

They meet up with Pattadol and get the scoop. It seems that not only has this dungeon calmed down, but dungeons across the world are calming down too. Where normally dungeons try to fan the desires of their inhabitants, the dungeons have all become oddly passive.

Marcille is about to willingly let herself be arrested by the canaries, when there is sudden another rumble. The big well at the center of the plaza begins to bubble, and a shocking figure emerges from the water.

It is Falin, in her full blown demon form.

She has eschewed the lion imagery, instead taking on the form of a terrifying yet elegant centipede woman. Her face is mostly the same, but with three additional eyes peeking out from her messy bangs, all five wide with infinity pupils. Her body is long and serpentine, with dozens of arms lining the sides. Layered golden robes complete the look. She is nearly 20 feet long, and that's only the portion sticking out of the fountain.

Before even figuring out what the hell is going on, Marcille and Laios rush forward and tearfully embrace Falin. Everyone else is understandably shocked and confused, but Falin begins to explain what happened.

When she became lord, she fused with the demon. As an nonliving creature, its will became subsumed by hers. She feared that its one true instinct, the desire to feed on desires, would overwhelm her, and she initially planned to sequester herself away from the world. However, she soon discovered a solution.

Auto-cannibalism.

Yeah, turns out she could just consume her own desire to eat desires, allowing her to assume full control of her new infinite form without the demon's corrupting influence.

(Author's note: Initially, I was struggling to figure out the ending, since a Golbetty solution was the only one I could think of. But then I realized, why does that have to be a downer ending. If I want a happy ending, I can just... do it. Plus, if auto-cannibalism isn't a peak Dungeon Meshi solution, I don't know what is.)

Falin wants to keep her use of her infinite power at a minimum, but there are a few things she definitely wants to do. First, she makes sure everyone who was affected by Marcille's reign is healed up.

Next, with Laios' help to guide her hand, she modifies his chimera form so he can live comfortably on the surface. The wings have to go, and he is made considerably smaller, more resembling a draconic centaur.

She then begins the process of ejecting the golden country from the dungeon. Once Yaad is returned to his body, he ends up being made the leader of the restored nation. The orcs are of course allowed in, and it eventually becomes a prosperous nation.

After determining that he is only capable of very rudimentary magic without his book, The elves release Thistle into the kingdom's custody a few years later. Thistle never reunites with Delgal, but at least his people are happy. He proceeds to be the grumpy court mage.

Chilchuck moves to Kahka Brud and opens a shop. He eventually reunites with his wife with Marcille's help, and the two reconcile.

Senshi returns to living in the dungeon. It is now mostly just level 6 and 7, though Falin creates plenty of caves and spaces for biodiversity to proliferate. Senshi primarily lives in the new first floor, tending the golems. He is able to massively expand his operation, becoming Melini and Kahka Brud's primary provider of cabbage and root vegetables.

Falin proposes that with her new powers, she could seperate Izutsumi's components safely. But after giving it a good hard think over a few weeks, Izutsumi realizes... she doesn't actually want that. The only reason she ever wanted that was because people treated her as an unnatural freak. And after hanging out with people who respect her for what she is, she no longer wants to give up what makes her 'her'. She ends up living around Melini, mostly squatting with her friends and hunting monsters with Laios. She does end up finding the dark mage who created her, and gets him put away for life.

While Demon Falin is a kindhearted soul, there is one instance the canaries noticed where she was extremely uncooperative. When attempting to arrest Marcille for her dungeon lord shenanigans, Falin kept changing the subject, and getting progressively more annoyed. They ultimately decide to let her have Marcille, not wanting to piss off the young goddess.

Kabru ends up becoming the governor of the dungeon, keeping track of coming and goings, making sure everyone explores safely, and generally making sure things run smoothly. Mithrun ends up retiring from the canaries and decides to work with Kabru.

Toshiro returns to the east, but he periodically still comes back to visit Falin and his friends. After a few more years of dungeoneering, Namari ends up opening an armor and weapons store.

While his home is in the dungeon, Laios ends up working for Yaad and the kingdom, using his knowledge and chimera strength to hunt down dangerous monsters spotted around the kingdom.

Falin is restricted to the dungeon, but she doesn't mind as long as all her friends are able to visit. She ends up being revered as the new deity of Melini. While she mostly doesn't want to use her powers willy nilly, she is always happy to heal those who ask. Plus, she is present in all the remaining ancient dungeons, ensuring they all remain stable and safe for those wishing to explore them.

Marcille of course lives in the dungeon with Falin, and continues to study magic, particularly of the ancient variety. She makes all sorts of useful discoveries over the years, and comes to be rather famous, despite her criminal past. Eventually, Falin ends up making Marcille a chimera so that Falin, Marcille, and Laios can be together for a very long time. Plus, Marcille and Falin have all sorts of real freaky sex.

And they all lived happily ever after. The end.

Thanks to everyone who has enjoyed my silly little AU. I hope you enjoyed this crazy finale, even if it's 90% wish fulfillment on my part.

Till next time!

[antennas-to-heaven]

a ramble on daisy and guest 1337's relationship

i think being married And being childhood friends they stuck together through thick and thin, they were there for each other during their worst moments and found each other in what was essentially the worst time of their life, when they were freshly orphans. though i do headcanon that daisy didn't have the best relationship with her parents; i headcanon that, like guest, she was bullied frequently (ranging from teasing to trying to cut her hair short) since she was the Weird Autistic Girl™️ who went to special ed classes.

her parents disregarded her emotions as being "overdramatic" and stuff and because of that she was actually not that sad over losing them. but it was hard acclimating in the orphanage at first, and she was still bullied a lot, with guest and matt being her only friends.

daisy and 1337 related to each other a lot since they were both bullied (1337 for being a guest, daisy for being autistic) and being essentially outcasts. daisy was the one who helped guest find his place in the world, one of the few people who loved him unconditionally. 1337 genuinely felt safe around daisy and vice versa. they both spent their life being marginalized by most people around them and together, even in their lowest points, were able to pick the pieces back up bit by bit. they and matt always snuck out of the orphanage, going on what is essentially long hiking trips and exploring the world around them.

1337 learned a lot about botany and birdwatching thanks to daisy, and daisy learned a lot about fish and marine life thanks to 1337. they'd always sneak out together and sometimes wander so far away the caretakers in the orphanage had to set up entire search parties because they ended up in a far away part of the town. 1337 also started reading a lot more thanks to daisy; she always liked people reading to her, it made her feel safe, and 1337 always volunteered to read to her, even purposefully picking her favourite books out. 1337 knew daisy enjoyed listening to people, and he was always a bit of a talker, so he'd spend hours talking his head off about whateverwhat while daisy nodded along. for once, 1337 felt heard and seen.

daisy didn't take care of her hair much, and guest immediately volunteered to brush it for her; this became a small, 10 minute activity they'd always do together, simply to stay close to each other. when they got married, daisy's hair was actually a lot longer and fluffier than it was when she was at the orphanage. in fact, the marriage was the happiest moment for both daisy and 1337, so much so that they both ended up ugly crying during the wedding from how happy they were.

after so much time going on hiking trips, shyly holding hands, sharing soft kisses and laughs and discussing their plans for the future, they finally had their own proper place to live in, together. they loved each other unconditionally and were so incredibly happy.

though, i also feel like things weren't all sunshine and rainbows either. with their traumas and rough upbringings, they both had issues that snowballed pretty hard during their time together. guest 1337 never fully let himself be vulnerable while daisy was never honest to herself about her feelings, letting herself roll with the punches.

with the threat of war and the bacon army looming, they both desperately tried to keep each other safe, but ended up smothering each other, to the point where they were utterly codependent on each other. but they weren't able to fully admit their faults yet. 1337 and daisy would start fighting because of this lack of communication and admissions, and while things did get pretty harsh (things being broken, screaming matches, emotional breakdowns), it wasn't all doom and gloom.

after a fight, they'd try their best to patch things up and at least take some responsibility for it. though, with their desperate attempts to keep each other safe (daisy keeping 1337 safe from the bacon army, 1337 knowing daisy doesn't like people very much and wanting to keep her away from any stressors) they were essentially smothering themselves so hard that things became just about incredibly suffocating.

however, with the advent of daisy's pregnancy, the two realized that things couldn't go on like this anymore, especially once a kid would be added to the equation. 1337, wanting to follow the example of his late parents, and daisy, not wanting to repeat the mistakes of her late parents, started going to couples therapy and finally opening up to each other about their more deep seated issues, starting with 1337's stubbornness and daisy's doormat tendencies.

things were finally looking up for them, especially with charlotte's birth and getting to see her grow up, till the great war broke out. with 1337 and matt enlisting in the war and having to leave and fight, daisy was once again alone, the only difference being that charlotte was there too. she tried to stay strong for her daughter, but some days, daisy could barely get out of bed and take care of herself. charlotte quickly caught onto this and wanted to help her mom, which she denied because she didn't wanna bring her young daughter into her emotional messes.

when she gets the news that 1337 has "died", her entire world crumbles atop of her and when matt comes back to the town due to his injuries, he also has to sort of watch over her due to the grief taking a toll so big on her she could barely take care of herselfor even her daughter, who was also traumatized from the loss. matt had to take care of them both, essentially.

this is where the story splits based on canon: in the last guest, 1337 is revealed to be alive and reunites with daisy and charlotte, with things becoming better for the three of them as time passes.

however, in forsaken, 1337 is dead. full stop. while daisy and charlotte do recover, albeit slowly, matt and molly have to essentially watch over them for a while alongside their own daughter because of the toll the grief takes on them while guest is stuck in what is basically purgatory, desperate to go back to his loved ones, but as more and more time passes, he just wishes they've found a way to move on without him. in forsaken, as more and more time passes, daisy finds herself alone. 1337 is dead, matt and molly are taking care of their own family and charlotte has pursued academic goals out of town. daisy is alone, the only thing tethering her to reality being the backyard where she, 1337 and charlotte always used to garden in. it's sad, really. she has essentially nobody.

bonus: in the milestones 1-4 guest 1337 canon, 1337 has to spend less time with daisy and charlotte to the point his only way of communicating with them is through letters. 1337 sends letters sparingly, though very long and detailed, while daisy sends him poems, pressed flowers, charlotte's drawings, sentimental things like that. they're pretty heavily separated, but they at least have a way to communicate. it gets suffocatingly silent sometimes, but things are at the very least okay.

[steddieas-shegoes]

if i could turn back time

for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt 'time travel' rated t wc: 997 cw: mention of canonical character death tags: fix-it, light angst, happy ending, first kiss

-------------------------------------

"I'm telling you Robin, this is probably when things went wrong!"

"And I'm telling you, things probably went wrong in the 60s! This isn't gonna change anything!"

Eddie shouldn't have been listening by the door of the RV, especially not when they thought he was hiding in the back, but he couldn't help his curious nature.

Curiosity killed the cat, but it entertained the banished.

"What are you gonna do, huh? Stay with him and Dustin? Sacrifice yourself? I'm not letting you do that!"

Eddie's brows raised.

"No, but with the three of us, we can remember to close everything off this time so none of us have to sacrifice ourselves. It keeps us all safe."

The voice suddenly stopped and Eddie barely managed to get away from the door before it was flying open and Steve was storming inside.

Alone.

Robin must have gone to help the kids and Nancy with their weapons.

Steve sat down on the couch, put his head in his hands, and groaned.

"Alright there, big boy?"

Steve jumped, his face turning to see Eddie awkwardly standing in the doorway to the back.

"Fine, yeah. Just stressed," Steve relaxed a bit, though Eddie could still see his white knuckles against his knees and his jaw clenching.

"You and Robin having a lover's quarrel out there?" Eddie asked, knowing damn well they weren't together.

He didn't have to know to know that Robin wasn't interested in Steve for the same reason Eddie wasn't interested in Robin.

"We just don't see eye to nose on some things," Steve shrugged. "She knows I'm right, she's just stubborn."

Ignoring the eye to nose comment would go down as one of the most impressive feats of Eddie's life, but he decided to focus on finding out what they were actually arguing about.

"She thinks you're gonna get hurt?" Eddie asked, moving over to the couch.

"More like killed."

Eddie couldn't hide the flinch at his harsh words.

"None of us are gonna die, man. We've got a plan."

"Yeah," Steve sighed. "I'd feel better if I was with you and Dustin though."

"I won't let anything happen to him," Eddie said softly.

He knew how much Steve cared for Dustin, felt that same protectiveness for the kid.

"It's not him I'm worried about."

"I'll be fine. I mean, even if not, it's not like we're friends. You'll all be fine," Eddie shrugged.

Maybe a part of him actually believed that, believed that everyone would go about their days if something happened to him. He didn't think anyone but Wayne would actually miss him, and he'd be fine eventually.

Steve was blinking at him.

"No, we won't." Steve's hand grabbed his knee, squeezing. "You think you don't matter to us, but you do. You have no idea how much you mean to everyone. When something happens to you, none of us will ever be the same."

Eddie's mouth felt dry, and then it hit him what Steve said.

"When?"

Steve's eyes widened.

"I meant if!"

"Steve. Does this magic girl you keep talking about know something? Did someone talk to her?" Eddie stood up and started pacing. "I know I said it'd be fine if something happened to me, but I'd rather not know. And now I'm thinkin' you might know something I don't and maybe Robin does too and-"

Steve grabbed his face between his hands, his grip almost hard enough to leave a bruise.

"Eds, I promise you, I am not letting anything happen to you. Not this time."

Eddie had a million questions, but as he looked into Steve's haunted eyes, he decided to wait.

He decided to trust Steve Harrington.

"Okay. Nothing's gonna happen to me."

----------------------------------

When Eddie made it back through the gate in the trailer, a few bruises on his shoulders and arms, but alive, Steve was there.

Looking at him in a way Eddie couldn't quite recognize.

And then touching him in a way Eddie wouldn't have expected.

His hands were everywhere, feeling along his arms and neck and shoulders, taking inventory of his bruises and cuts, the one bite mark he had on his side.

"You're okay?" He asked breathlessly.

"I'm okay." Eddie responded, just as breathless. "Steve. I'm okay."

His tone made Steve stop what he was doing and look in his eyes.

"Fuck, Eddie," Steve fell into him, pushing his face into his neck, breathing Eddie in as Eddie wrapped his arms around him.

"You gonna tell him or should I?" Robin asked from behind them.

Steve just whimpered in response and Eddie felt a wetness against his skin.

"Are you crying?" he asked, trying to push him away to see if he was okay, but Steve just held him harder.

"He's just happy you didn't die this time," Robin said.

"This time?"

"Yeah. You died the first time and it destroyed him. When we woke up back here, he spent so long trying to focus on you living, he forgot we had a real job to do. No offense."

"None taken," Eddie said. "Stevie, you gotta breathe."

Steve had started gasping for air against him, his whole body shaking as he came down from the adrenaline.

It took ten minutes, a cleared out room, and gentle hands massaging his back for Steve to calm down.

But Eddie sat with him and held him, talked him through whatever he was feeling and assuring him that he was okay.

"We all made it, sweetheart," Eddie whispered against the top of his head.

Steve stiffened in his arms, then instantly relaxed.

"Was it..." Eddie let out a long breath. "Before. When I died. Were we something?"

Steve shook his head and Eddie tried not let the disappointment be visible.

"We weren't yet. But I think we would have been. I wanted to be. Didn't get the chance."

"But this time you do."

Steve's lips pressed against his collar, lingering for a minute before he pulled back.

"This time we do."

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Eddie Munson's second chance

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 14

Prompt: Angst with a happy ending

Rated: G

CW: referenced child neglect/abuse

Tags: Modern AU, Royalty AU, Royal Steve Harrington, Rockstar Eddie Munson

Notes: Continued from day 11. This was angstier in my head, but Eddie is a silly goose.

Eddie Munson is no stranger to fucking up. He's long accepted that. It's just a thing that happens.

Sometimes, you'll miscalculate a stage dive and have to cancel the rest of the tour. 

Sometimes, you'll get so caught up in your stupid rockstar stuff, you'll forget about the youth center you founded to give other kids a better childhood. 

Sometimes, you'll meet an adorable guy named Dustin at said youth center, and rant about how useless the monarchy is, only to find out that Dustin isn't Dustin at all, but Crown Prince Steven Harrington, aka the future king, aka owner of the saddest pair of puppy dog eyes that Eddie has ever failed to get out of his goddamn head. 

Which brings him to his current predicament, sitting on the edge of his bed, waiting for Chrissy to pick up the phone. She does after the second dial tone, which is pretty impressive for three in the morning. 

"We must cancel the royal visit," Eddie blurts before she can ask what's wrong. 

"Eds," she yawns. "We've been over this. Just because you can't stand the guy-" 

"That's not it," Eddie groans. "Listen … I met him yesterday? Only I didn't know it was him? And I flirted with him and he was really cute but I couldn't keep my fucking mouth shut and now I can't ever see him again because I don't wanna rot in some dungeon, understand?" 

"No," she says. Damn, it sounded perfectly logical in his head. "But this doesn't seem like something we should discuss on the phone. Stay put, I'm coming over." 

*

They don't cancel the royal visit, but Eddie refuses to make an appearance. Instead, he watches from behind the curtains of the office window like a creep. The Prince looks dashing in his tailored suit, smiling for the cameras, joking with the kids, listening to Chrissy with polite attention as she shows him around the place. Eddie loves her so fucking much, will be forever grateful that she filled in for him. 

Even if she tied it to one condition. 

He watches how she whispers something into the Prince's ear, how his smile melts into an angry frown. How they both turn to stare at the window. Eddie flinches away from the curtains, heart in his throat. 

He wonders if the dungeons have WiFi. 

*

"You have exactly ten minutes," says the bodyguard. It’s the same one from yesterday, the one called Hop. Eddie doesn’t reply, just nods stiffly. Hop looks at him like he's contemplating murder, but then he ducks out of the room with a muttered all clear.

Prince Steven steps in. The door clicks shut. Silence descends. 

"Well," Eddie finally mumbles. "I guess this is the part where I bow and grovel." 

The Prince snorts. "Please don't, Mr Munson. I'd rather you save us both the embarrassment."

Eddie winces, because ouch. That stings more than it should. 

Neither of them says anything for a long while. The clock on the wall keeps ticking. 

"So," Eddie rocks awkwardly on the soles of his combat boots. "Who's Dustin?" 

Those plush lips twitch into a smile and those pretty eyes light up. For a moment, Eddie glimpses the boy from yesterday. 

"My housekeeper's kid. He'd be so mad if he knew I met you and didn't get him an autograph." 

He says it with genuine concern, like he's honestly afraid of getting shit from a little kid, and Eddie can't help but grin. 

"Don't worry, I won't tell." 

This gets him a huffed laugh. 

"He'd love this place, it's really cool." 

When Eddie looks up, the Prince is looking at the picture frames on the walls, photos of smiling kids and drawings in crayon and watercolors. Eddie sighs and joins him, stares long and hard of a picture of Max on her skateboard. 

"Thanks. I, um … grew up around here, and I wanted to give these kids a safe space. Where they can just … be children. I never really had that myself." 

A thoughtful hum. Those hazel eyes are soft with an expression that looks weirdly like longing. Eddie remembers watching stories about the royal family on his uncle's rickety TV set. A solemn-faced boy his own age trailing behind his parents outside of private jets, in lush parks and gilded halls. Always in expensive suits. Always well-behaved. Always way too grown-up.

Well, shit. 

"Listen, your highness …" 

"Steve is fine." 

"Listen, Steve …" Eddie lets the name linger on his tongue, finds that he likes the feel of it. "I guess I've been a bit of a dick." 

A hint of that bitchy little smile. "You guess correctly." 

"Whatever," Eddie huffs. "I'm trying to apologize here, so may I? Or are you throwing me in the dungeons?" 

"The …" Steve blinks. Then, his mouth starts to curl. "We, um … don't actually do that anymore. Unless you're into that, then I'm sure it could be arranged." 

Eddie sputters and Steve bites back a laugh. 

"If you really wanna make up for it," he then says. "I hear your concert next week is all sold out? Dustin would love backstage tickets." 

Eddie frowns. 

"Dustin as in the kid or …" 

"Steve?" Hop cracks the door open. "Time to go, c'mon." 

Steve smiles, bright and sunshiny. "On my way." 

He turns to Eddie, grabs a pen and a notepad from the chaos on the desk.

"Backstage tickets, two of them. I'll be expecting them by tomorrow." 

*

When Chrissy bustles in not five minutes later, she finds Eddie in the office chair, staring morosely at the still drawn curtains. 

"Eds? Everything okay?" Eddie just groans and hides his head in his hands, so she crouches down in front of him, hands on his knees. "He didn't give you shit, did he?" 

"Shit? I wish. No, it's far worse than that." Eddie cackles hysterically and unclenches his fist, presenting a crumpled piece of notebook paper. "He gave me his number." 

Part 3

All my holiday drabbles

[melithril]

[Adar] - A Romantic Dinner

♫ - Perfect - Ed Sheeran

main masterlist | blog playlist

A request from a lovely Anon with a nice surprise at the end, I really enjoyed writing this one so I hope you all enjoy! <3

Nature was beautiful. Everywhere you went, flora and fauna graced the Earth. Your favourite thing to do was to find fresh herbs and fruits out in the wild that you knew you could make something of. Sauce, jams, pie; you name it, you loved to make it. There was something so freeing about cooking, and using ingredients so fresh was the best part.

You were thankful that your love, Adar, was fond of most foods. At first, when you had started courting him, your worry lay in just what you should make him to eat. After you had asked him what uruk's ate, he just smiled at you.

"My children mostly enjoy meat, but I, my beloved, would eat anything your hands are gracious enough to make."

He always was a charmer, and at first you thought it was perhaps because he was being polite. After the first few months with him, you quickly realised that this was no joke; Adar really did eat practically anything. He had lived a past in which food was neither fresh nor pleasant, and for the most part was scarce. Therefore, now he knew food was more abundant for him and his family, his palette was more than happy to eat anything.

It had been quite a rough few weeks for you all in the camp. Threats from each corner of Middle Earth loomed over you, and the stress levels in your lover were high. So, waking up that day you had decided to venture out into the nearby forest to see what you may find. You knew Adar would be busy in his throne room most of the day tending to what business he may have, and so you saw your perfect opportunity.

"My love," Adar spoke, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Be safe out there on your walk, please. The last thing I need is you going missing or getting hurt. If you are not back by sundown, I will send someone to look for you."

His concern made your heart swell. Adar always put you first, always looking out for you where he could. You smiled up at him. All he knew was that you were going for a walk, but not what the intentions of the day were; that was to be a surprise. 

"Do not worry, Adar, I will be safe. Now, you best be off before you are late. I know you have much to do. I love you."

"And I you, my sweet." 

With a kiss to his lips, you bid him off at the door and waited some time before you left to make sure he wasn't coming back. Excited, you grabbed your basket and bag, heading out into the wilderness that lay beyond the camp walls. 

You were gone some time, though not the whole day. In reality, it was perhaps two hours which was not at all a bad time. You had lots of time to prepare your meal, and a hell of a lot of ingredients to do so. Strawberries, raspberries, apples, bunches of herbs and even some mushrooms filled your basket and you couldn't wait to get them back to your kitchen.

As you began cooking, you giggled to yourself in excitement. You had hoped this may cheer Adar up and help him through this rough patch. It was horrible to see him so stressed out, far from the sweet and otherwise wonderful man you had come to love. Though still just as loving, he was instead quite closed off and quiet, and you knew there was so much on his mind. You were determined tonight to take most of those feelings away, to help him relax and to spend some quality time with him as you had not done so in what felt like an age. 

The sun was beginning to set, and so you left your home momentarily to ask one of the guards outside to send word to Adar that you were fine. The last thing you needed was him worrying and coming over early to check on you. The uruk smiled at you and agreed, and with your thanks he left to deliver your message. 

As the final things went into the oven to keep warm, you cleared up the kitchen and set the table. Standing back, you admired the view before you.

The table was adorned with a red cloth, napkins set nicely on either side. Some tall candles sat either side, lit and burning away with a smell of sage. In the centre, a platter of fresh strawberries, apples and blueberries, most from your travel today and raspberries in the middle; Adar's favourite. Apple tart, fresh potatoes and vegetables, with a roasted chicken too all sat present and ready to be eaten. Not to forget your favourite side dish, lembas bread, in your father's old bread basket to finish. 

Proud of yourself, you heard the door handle click and the shuffle of feet in your living room. Heading out, you greeted Adar with a hug.

"My love," he rasped, sounding very tired but still spending the energy to lift you off your feet. When you were returned to the ground, you cupped his face in your hand.

"Adar, I trust your day was well?"

"It was about as well as it could have been. I am tired, but something smells very good in the kitchen. I never have been able to resist your cooking."

Grinning, you were very glad he noticed. Beckoning him to you, you took his hand and led him to the table. As he arrived round the corner, his eyes widened at the sight. 

"You beautiful thing," he gasped. "What is this all for? A special occasion?"

"No," you chuckled, leading him to sit in his chair. "Just because I wanted to. I went out today to fetch these ingredients, and for the most part I got what I needed. This is for you to relax, I know how much you have been working and I wanted to make you forget every bad thing just for one night. So, please enjoy."

Adar kept your hand, simply looking at you like you were otherworldly. In his mind, he could not fathom why someone would go to the effort you had for him tonight, but he was beyond grateful that you had. His hands found your waist and he pulled you in to a hug, his head resting on your chest. You kissed the top of his head and held him, knowing he probably needed it. Running your hands through his hair, you let him pull away when he was ready. 

"Now, Adar, you eat. You need it and it's going cold."

With a wink, you took your own seat and the two of you ate and chatted until the candles had all but burned down. 

Dinner had come to an end, and it was the most relaxed either of you had been in so long. You could see it in Adar's face; he was happier, lighter and laughing a lot more. He was back to the Adar you got to see behind closed doors. As you began to clear the table, in the highest spirits you'd been for a while. Adar pushed back his chair and pulled you to him and into his lap.

"Leave that for now," he whispered into your ear. Obliging, not in any position to complain, you allowed him to keep you close.

Entwining your hands into his hair, Adar took your hands and kissed your knuckles gently.

"My star, thank you this evening. You did not have to go to all of that trouble but I am very thankful to you for it. I do not know what I would do without you here. You are my rock, my guide, and I am grateful to spend this life with you."

A tear cascaded down your face, but not a sad one. Of of relief, of happiness that things felt normal in this moment.

"Adar, my beloved, I would do anything to keep your smile around. To see you happy. There is no better feeling for me than to see you at peace. I will fight to keep every bad thing at bay. You have done so much for me, in so many ways, this is a display of a fraction of how thankful I am."

Adar hummed and smiled up at you. He buried his face int your chest, allowing himself to focus on your breathing before placing soft kisses on your collarbone. One hand rested on your thigh and the other had a firm grip on your waist. Adar moved his lips upwards, leaving a trail of small, light marks as he went. His kisses had now reached your neck, where he bit down just a tad harder, laughing at your surprised noise. 

"So," he breathed against your jawline. "You'd do anything to keep my smile, would you?"

"Without a second thought, of course I would," you replied, your voice slightly shaky from the pleasant feelings. 

Adar pulled back and moved his hand from your thigh to tilt your chin to look him in the eyes. You could get lost in his eyes, they left you helpless. In the dying light of the candles, they shone even more than usual. He stood, standing you on your feet and placed you back on the chair as he knelt before you. Taking both your hands in his own, you looked at him quizzically. His voice was low and strong as he spoke his next words. 

"Then wed me, my star."

Your eyes widened, and it was your turn to be shocked. Adar continued.

"Wed me, and let us defy the darkness looming over us with this act of love. Let us prove that love can prosper even in the worst of times. I have come to realise these past few months that I need you, and I have never wanted to be with someone like this. I want to spend the rest of the ages we have with you, my love. If you'll have me, I am yours."

As he finished talking, he pulled the ring off his last finger and held it to you, eyes not wavering from your own. Tears had filled your eyes as you looked back, finding only love waiting on Adar's face. Throwing your arms around his neck, your voice trembled with delight as you whispered into his ear.

"Of course, Adar. I will marry you."

Adar let out a happy laugh, one of relief and joy. He leaped to his feet, pulling you with him as you wrapped your legs around his torso. Holding you close, tears fell from the uruk's eyes as well as your own, and you both shared in the moment of pure and honest ecstasy. You couldn't believe Adar was going to be yours for the rest of the ages.

Adar placed you gently onto the table, taking your hand and placing the ring on your finger.

"My starlight, I cannot wait for the rest of our lives. I promise with all that I have that I will protect you, and I will love you with everything I can give. I am yours, in every way."

"As am I yours, Adar. I am excited to make this life with you, to build on what we have. There is no man I would rather have."

Adar pulled you into a breathtaking kiss, standing in between your legs as he took your face in his hands. Your fingers wrapped themselves in his hair as the kiss deepened, his hands roaming from your face to your waist and your thighs. He could not get enough of you in this moment. Hoisting you up, you pulled away just long enough to see his face. 

Adar grinned and winked at you, before carrying you towards the bedroom.

The future was uncertain, and unstable, but now you knew Adar would be in it with you and that was a comforting thought. You knew nothing of what the future may hold, but you most certainly knew one thing about tonight:

Sleep was far from on the menu.

Thanks for reading! <3

[bookshelf-dust]

go to sleep

eddie munson x gn!reader

word count: 1,108

warnings: swearing, fluff, angst but no happy ending

a/n: gonna take max’s advice for this one and just sit here. i’m gonna sit here, and i’m gonna watch. mhm. that’ll do ;)

————

“Hey, sweetheart.”

Your face splits into a grin before you can even try to suppress it. It doesn’t matter how shitty your day has been, that you cried in the car on the way home, that there’s this ache in your chest—almost like something is really wrong, something you can’t quite put your finger on. It doesn’t matter, because now you’re home. 

You pull the door shut behind you, gaze dragging over the man stretched out on the couch before you. 

“Hi, baby.”

Eddie sits up, watching intently as you tug off your shoes, your coat. You go to him, and he spreads his legs, arms held out, welcoming you to a hug. You notice, as you wrap your arms around his shoulders, that he isn’t wearing his pick necklace. 

He nuzzles his face into the soft skin of your belly, taking in the leftover scent of your perfume, the laundry detergent used to wash your shirt. He kisses your forearm, lips a little chilly. 

You pull back and take his face in your hands to kiss him properly. He smiles into it, giddy as ever to have his mouth on yours. He treats each ounce of your affection like it is the greatest privilege one could ever be allowed. It is an immense privilege that you allow him to be yours.  

His hands fist the fabric of your t-shirt. “You wanna lay down with me for a while?” 

You nod, and the movement makes him grin. His happiness is palpable. 

“Yeah? Come on then.”

He scoots back against the arm of the couch, shoving a pillow under his head. He has a feeling you need his attention. That maybe you’ve been longing for it. He opens his legs, watches as you settle on top of him, careful not to hurt him while you get comfortable. 

When you shove your face into his chest, trying to absorb as much of him as you can, you realize that his lips aren’t the only chilly part of him. He’s cold. He’s usually so warm, like your own personal space heater.

“Eddie? Can you reach that blanket?”

Your brows knit in concern, but he doesn’t catch it, just pulls the fabric over the two of you. He tucks it in around his thighs, making sure you’re comfortable.

“Better?” he asks, kissing the top of your head. 

You look up at him, propping your chin up on your hands. “Much. I love you, Eddie, you know that, right?”

“‘Course I know that. I love you too. So much it hurts.”

You lean forward slightly and press a kiss to his collarbone. “I wouldn’t want to hurt you, Eds.”

“Oh, don’t worry. It’s a good kind of pain.” 

You kiss his chin. Your brain keeps fussing at you, telling you something’s wrong. This isn’t right. You ignore it. 

“Anything you wanna talk about?” 

Eddie hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since you got home. There’s this look in them that you recognize, a look you’ve only seen once. Something in your head tells you that you didn’t like that occasion. Because he’d looked at you like you’d hung the stars, like he could let go because you were there, and that meant he was safe. 

No. That’s silly. 

“I’m okay,” you tell him. “Just wanna be here with you.”

Really there’s so much you want to tell him. So much you need to catch him up on. Things you shouldn’t have to catch him up on. But your heart tells you not right now. You feel as though he might slip through your fingers at any moment. 

You bring your hands around his back, rubbing over his shoulder blades. You hug him tightly. 

“Don’t go, Eddie.”

He laughs. “Where would I go, huh, baby? I’m right here. You get some rest now, okay? When you wake up, we can pick up dinner.”

“Promise?”

He tilts your head up toward him with a soft touch, his index and middle fingers to your chin.

Eddie kisses you. Soft and sweet. As you drift off, you can’t help but realize that he never promised. He just kept you distracted.

————

When you wake up, you’re covered in a thin layer of sweat. Not enough that you’ve soaked through your clothes, but enough that the backs of your knees feel sticky, that your hands are warm and a little swollen. Your heart is pounding. 

“Eddie—”

You call out for him, but your voice catches in your throat. You’re crying. You hadn’t realized you were crying. 

Eddie’s not here.

But you know where he is.

He’s exactly where you left him. In that place. Where he’d given you that look. 

It’s okay, baby, really. This is all I get, and we have to be okay with that. I’m okay with it. You’re gonna be fine, y-you hear me? 

On instinct, your hand moves to Eddie’s side of the bed. Cold. The pillow still has an indentation from his head, one on the side where he’d grip it when lying on his stomach. 

Your dream crashes over you all at once, every small detail telling you exactly what it was. A dream. Much better than your waking nightmare. You fall back against your own pillow and shut your eyes.

Go to sleep, you think. It’s still dark out. You should be sleeping.

Maybe if you can get back to sleep, Eddie will come to you again. Maybe you’ll be able to feel him. Hear his voice. Oh, his voice. 

My sweet baby.

Can’t believe I landed such a badass.

Come and give me a hug, I’m dyin’ here.

You can pick the music.

Gonna marry you someday, you know that?

You’re sobbing now. Your room is covered in Eddie. He’s everywhere. You smack your hand against the mattress beside you, angry that you’re alone. 

Because he should be here. He should be here and he should be snoring, pressing half his body weight into you because he can’t share for the life of him. 

When you wake up, you know he won’t be in the shower, screaming the words to some obscure metal song. He won’t rush back up the stairs to kiss you twice more before he leaves. He won’t call at lunch. You won’t hear his music blaring halfway down the street when he comes home. 

Take me with you, you’d thought. I wanna go. I don’t want to be without you. Please don’t go without me. 

If only it’d been that simple. 

You keep your eyes squeezed shut and roll onto the opposite side of the bed. 

Go to sleep, you think. Eddie might be there. 

————

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