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scuderiahoney · 3 months

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Oscar Piastri x reader // in motion part 3

hockey au part 3: a walk in near the park, a surprising team photo, and the semester comes to a close. 6.2k words

warnings: mentions of sports injury, mentions of bullying, alcohol, academic stress, final exams

Oscar has spent a lot of his life on the move. He moved to the US from Australia for high school at a pretty young age, just to try and play hockey. Looking back, it sounds crazy. What’s even crazier is that it actually worked. He’d play for club teams and in leagues and travel absolutely anywhere if it gave him time on the ice. And then he ended up on a college team and stayed put for two years, and honestly, it felt strange.

Over that time, he got good at putting things in boxes. Keeping life organized. Not so much in a sense of clutter and things having a place- his room is a mess, there’s laundry to be done, and his hockey locker is a disaster- but more so in his head. His friendships and relationships get categorized, information filed away, grouped together. Not by importance or value, but by… context. Hockey friends in one box. Family in another. People like coaches and managers and executives in a third. Moving somewhere new always shakes the boxes up.

By late November, though, Oscar’s feeling a little bit more comfortable in his own skin. He’s found his place in the team, he has weekly lunches with teammates, and he’s even made some friends outside of hockey. His old coach, Mark, says that’s a big piece of it. That it’s good to have something other than sport, just in case it all falls apart, or it doesn’t work out. People to fall back on who aren’t just there for hockey.

Oscar wants to say that his teammates would still be friends with him even if he stopped playing, for some reason, but the truth is that he’s been burned by other overly ambitious hockey kids way too often to truly believe it. That’s half the reason he’s on the Timberwolves now, why he left his old school and team behind. Things feel better here. Lando has an old friend who used to play hockey who still hangs around the house sometimes- Max, the other Max. (Oscar doesn’t call him that to his face.) So maybe Lando at least wouldn’t ditch him if he quit.

And then there’s you, too. Oscar’s not quite sure when you went from being an enigma he struggled to place into one of his carefully organized boxes in his head to, well, this.

You’re sitting across from him at the dining table in his house, one finger tracing the words in the textbook in front of you. You have a TimTam in your other hand-you seem to have developed a fondness for them, the same way that Oscar seems to have developed a fondness for you. The late afternoon sun is shining into the room through the sliding glass door and onto you. Oscar shakes his head to try to clear it.

As he does, you groan and drop your face into the textbook with a solid thud- he winces. “I hate physics.”

He holds back a laugh, because he knows you genuinely are frustrated. “Does slamming your face on the words help?”

You shrug. “Maybe, if I just sit here like this, the knowledge will seep into my brain.”

He hums. “Pretty sure that’s not how it works.”

“Right, because you know everything,” you mumble. “Genius man.”

He rolls his eyes and pushes away from the table. “Come on. Time for a break.”

“I don’t need a break, I need to learn…” you sigh and turn your head, pressing your cheek to the book and looking at him with one eye. “What are we studying again?”

Oscar fixes you with a disapproving look and heads towards the front door. He knows you’ll follow. By the time he makes it to the entryway, you’re hot on his heels, watching curiously as he pulls his shoes on.

“Where are you going?” You ask.

“We’re going on a walk,” he says. “Brain break.”

You shrug and nod, reaching for your own shoes as he pulls on a jacket. He tries not to laugh as you struggle to pull them on without untying them. You’re always stubborn like that, it seems. It’s almost painfully endearing. You stand up straight once you have the shoes on and look at him expectantly.

“Where’s your jacket?” He asks.

You shrug and shove your hands into the pockets of your hoodie. Or is it Charles’ hoodie? Oscar swears he’d seen him wearing it just yesterday.

“I didn’t wear one,” you say. Oscar raises his brows, and you roll your eyes. “There’s not even snow on the ground, Piastri.”

“It’s almost December, Bunny” he says flatly, and reaches for another one of his jackets hanging on the hook near the door.

He hands it to you, and stands there, waiting, until you grumble and pull it on. You wear the other guys’ clothing all the time, but he swears you look almost flustered at the offer. Huh. He’s trying desperately to pretend he’s not flustered over it, honestly. Something about you in his clothing makes him blush. He’d felt the same way about the hoodie you’d borrowed at the party.

“You’re just Australian,” you say, nudging your foot against his as if to usher him out the door. “You’re a baby about the cold.”

He doesn’t have much of a comeback to that, so he steps outside, and you follow right along with him. He walks down the steps and takes off down the sidewalk, hands shoved in his jacket pockets. You might be right- he’s a bit of a baby when it comes to cold temperatures- but his breath curls into mist in front of his face and yours does the same, so it really is chilly. The sun paints everything golden- the windows on the buildings, the dead leaves that still cling to a couple trees. Your elbow bumps against his as the two of you walk. He tries to ignore the spark that shoots up his spine at the feeling. You're chatting away about something, someone in one of your classes who’s been annoying you lately. He's found he likes to listen to you talk.

When he turns to take the path through the park next to the athletics building, you stop in your tracks. He turns back, figuring you’ve seen something, but you’re just staring into the park, and at the large building behind it. He frowns.

“Everything alright?” He asks, quietly.

You nod. “I just. D’you think maybe we could walk to that cafe near here? I could really go for a chai latte.”

He nods- a drink does sound good. “Yeah, sure. D’you wanna walk through the park on the way? Won’t be much of a detour.”

The park is nice. It’s one of Oscar’s favorite places on campus. There’s grass and trees and a path that winds around the university’s baseball and soccer fields. But you’re staring at it with a much different feeling, if the look on your face tells him anything.

You shake your head. “No, let’s just…”

You don’t finish your sentence. Instead, you take off down the sidewalk, heading away from the park. He’s left to follow in your footsteps, suddenly feeling like he really knows nothing about you at all.

…..

When Oscar thinks of home, now, he thinks of this. Not Australia, or the house, or even his family, really. He thinks of a jersey, a stick in his hand, and the scrape of his skates against the ice. Hockey, for all its cheering fans and yelling opponents and background music, is a strangely quiet sport. Maybe he’s just gotten good at blocking out the noise.

They’re warming up on the ice. He has warm up traditions, now, something he hasn’t had with teammates in years- he and Lando slap each other on the shoulders, and he and George always skate a lap together. It’s not anything huge or elaborate, but it means he’s part of the team, and that’s enough.

Max skates up to him, just at the end of warmup. He nudges his shoulder against Oscar’s through the padding. “Good?”

Oscar had a rough week in practice. It was the kind that would’ve had him benched for a month on his last team. Seb’s been nothing but supportive- constructive criticism was offered, sure, but he’s still on the ice today, so he figures that’s a good sign. He nods and turns to Max. His eyes flicker up into the stands. He shouldn’t know this, but he does- your seat is above Max’s head from this angle, up in the second section, front row. You’re wearing a jersey, probably Lando’s number if he had to guess, and sharing popcorn with Alex’s girlfriend, Lily. He smiles.

“Yeah. Good.” He nods.

Max nods in return, then skates away. Oscar follows.

When he scores later, and ties the game one to one, he looks to the same spot in the stands. Lando hits him on the back, hard, a bit too enthusiastic. You’re standing in front of your seat, arms around Lily, yelling, and he grins. He can’t help it. The smile doesn’t drop from his face for the rest of the game. The rink, the ice, and his teammates may feel like home, but the way you cheer for him feels awfully close to it, too.

At the party afterwards, you pour two shots of tequila and hand one to him. He takes it with a smile, grimaces at the taste, and laughs when you cough. He pats you on the back sympathetically, and when you take his hand two seconds later and drag him towards the beer pong table, he follows happily.

…..

December creeps up on Oscar, and with it, so does final exam week. Suddenly, it’s just… there, bearing down on him. He’s not exactly nervous about most of his exams- he’s prepared well, and though he’d never say it out loud, he’s pretty good at testing. But no matter how well he studies or how much he’s paid attention in class, exams still aren’t exactly fun.

He sees you a lot in the week leading up to it. You’re often in the kitchen, eating snacks with Max, or in the living room, quizzing Charles on vocab, or in Lando’s room taking a nap between classes. You’re stressed. He can tell. He does his best to help in any way he can- when he goes to the store, he picks up your favorite snacks and leaves them on the counter. He helps you study for the physics exam. When he finds you asleep on the couch in his living room on Saturday night, he carefully lays a blanket over you and turns off the lamp. He hopes some of it helps, just a little bit.

The next afternoon, Oscar stands in the lobby of the athletic training building. He and Max had headed over for the afternoon to do a workout together, more to get their minds off exams than anything else. Now he’s in the lobby, waiting for his team captain, and he’s staring. Laser focused. He's making a whole lot of connections all at once. The wheels are turning in his brain, and he’s sure if anyone’s watching him, he looks crazy. He jumps when someone slaps a hand against his shoulder. It’s Max.

“Hey,” his team captain says, shaking him slightly. “You look lost.”

Oscar frowns and turns back to the photo in front of him. Women’s Soccer, a team photo, from what would’ve been his freshman year at his previous school. He’d been looking at the photos while he waited- the lobby is lined with them, and some of them are actually pretty funny. Some of the faces in this one are familiar, people he’s seen in the gym off and on. One, however, had caught his eye.

“Is that who I think it is?” He asks, pointing at the left side of the picture in the third row.

When he turns back to Max, his face has changed. The teasing look is gone, replaced by something solemn and hard set. Max nods and tugs at his shoulder.

“Wait,” Oscar says, trying to stay planted while Max tries to drag him away. “But she-“

Max crosses his arms over his chest and studies Oscar, brows furrowed. “I know. It’s not my story to tell, yeah?”

Oscar nods dumbly. Max nods in response. Then he nods his head towards the door, as if he’s directing Oscar to follow him. He does, because he’s not sure what else to do, and he’s not going to get any more information from the photo. He knows what he saw, anyways. You, standing there with the whole team, in uniform, your name listed below the photo with the rest of your teammates.

If there’s one thing the Timberwolves do better than hockey, it’s soccer. The women’s team has been national champions multiple times. A spot on that team isn’t something someone gives up willingly. But you’re not on the team, not anymore. When Lando asked if you wanted to go to the gym with them, you’d replied that you “wouldn’t be caught dead at the athletic training building.” And you’d avoided the athletic park like the plague.

Max turns to him as they walk out of the building, and the confusion must still be evident on his face, because Max swears under his breath in some other language. Oscar’s too lost in thought to even wonder what language it is, exactly.

“Look, just-“ Max pinches the bridge of his nose. “Trust me, she’ll talk about it when she wants to.”

“Okay,” Oscar nods. “But, like, is she… okay?”

Max gives him a sad smile. “Yeah.”

Oscar hears the silent part in his head. She is now.

They walk home together in near silence. Oscar doesn’t know what to say. He’s sure Max doesn’t, either. When they get to the house, Alex is coming down the front steps, the door still open behind him. Oscar sees your boots in the entryway, your coat hanging on the hook. Alex ruffles his hair as he walks past, and Oscar ducks before he turns to Max.

“Don’t tell her?” He asks, and Max looks sheepish, like that was the exact thing he was about to do. “I mean. If you think she needs to know I saw it, then… sure. But I don’t want her to feel pressured to talk to me about it.”

Max wrinkles his nose and nods. “Okay. For now.”

Oscar nods. They’re in agreement, then. He walks in through the front door and he can hear you and Lando in the kitchen, singing along to whatever song is playing from the speaker. It’s family dinner night. Oscar tries to put the thoughts of you in a soccer team portrait out of his head.

He sits next to you at dinner as you pick at your food. It’s one of your favorite meals, but your appetite seems low. It has him feeling concerned. Max, on your other side, nudges you. Oscar watches the two of you have a quiet conversation and wishes he knew what you were feeling. You finally take a couple bites, and he tries not to show how relieved he is about it.

One by one, everyone wanders off to study and get ready for the week ahead. You stay sitting at the table, though. Oscar clears some plates and comes back to find you, a couple TimTams in hand. You take them with a soft smile.

“You alright?” He asks, quietly.

You nod. “Stressed.”

Oscar nods. “Anything I can do to help?”

You twist your mouth. “Probably not. I should really just go home.”

You don’t make any moves to get up. He sighs and sits down next to you. You drum your fingers on the worn wooden tabletop and set the cookies down next to your plate. You’re chewing on your lower lip, and you close your eyes and let out a breath through your nose.

“It’s like… my brain just won’t stop going,” you say. “Like everything I’ve read is just tumbling around in there and I don’t know how to make it stop.”

“Objects in motion tend to stay in motion,” Oscar says, and you groan.

“Do not use physics metaphors on me right now,” you say, and when he starts laughing, you dissolve into giggles, too. “Gross.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he says, smiling sheepishly when you turn to look at him. “Why don’t I make some tea, and we can put it in travel mugs, and I’ll walk you home?”

A soft smile slips across your face. “That sounds really nice.”

He makes the tea exactly how both of you like it, pours it into the mugs, and ushers you towards the front door. You stop in the living room to say goodbye to Lando, who ruffles your hair, and Max, who holds onto your arm and says something to you, so quietly that you’re the only one who’ll hear it. Then Oscar heads outside, and you follow. It’s slightly dark, and chilly, but you’ve brought a jacket this time. You wrap both hands around the mug as you walk, a habit of yours that Oscar finds awfully endearing. The streetlights glow bright above your heads.

The walk is mostly silent. He reaches the entrance to the park, and on reflex again, he slows and turns to head down the path. You stop in your tracks and let out a pained little noise. Oscar’s stomach rolls. In the distance, the soccer field is lit up bright with floodlights. Something must’ve happened, to keep you from playing. You’d been good enough to be on the team. Something had changed. He turns and takes a step to continue down the sidewalk, but you stay planted there, staring. He pauses, holding his breath. It’s just the two of you, under the streetlamps, feet on the sidewalk.

“I used to play soccer,” you say, quietly, and his pulse jumps.

She’ll tell you when she’s ready. He hadn’t expected it to be so soon. He bites his lip and shoves his hands in his hoodie pocket. You’re still staring out over the park, so he turns to stare, too. He feels you lean your shoulder against his, like you’re looking for support, and he leans into it, just to show he’s there.

“I got signed to play as a senior in high school,” you explain. “And, not to brag, but I was really good. Went through summer training camp and made friends with my teammates and got here and… then I fell just the right way at practice, or the wrong way, I guess,” you say, grimacing. “Fucked up my knee. I had to have surgery, twice, and even then, they pretty much told me I was done. That it would never heal right.”

Oscar’s heart sinks. His chest feels tight. He thinks of you, on the couch in the living room when he woke up feeling off and asked you to go on a run, how you’d said you’d messed up your knee. He thinks of Max and the concerned way he always watches you climb the stairs in the stands at the rink. He thinks of you, younger, like the picture in the athletics building, on the field, in pain. He feels sick to his stomach.

“And my teammates… they didn’t know how to act, I think. They didn’t know how to help, so they just didn’t try. So, suddenly I was no longer a soccer player, and I was alone, and…” you sigh. Oscar turns to face you, and he thinks there are tears in your eyes. “And then I met Lando, and the rest of the team, and the rest is history. But… there are some things that still get to me. The field… it holds a lot of bad memories, you know? And when I’m stressed like this it all comes flooding back.”

He nods. You’re not looking at him, even as he watches a tear roll down your cheek. He wants to reach out and wipe it away, but he wonders if that would be a step too far. He pulls his hands from his pockets. You swipe a hand against your cheeks and clear the tears, and then let your own hands hang at your sides. He takes a steadying breath, steels himself, and links his fingers with yours- casually, lightly, gently holding on. You squeeze his hand in reply- a thank you, he thinks. He does the same in return.

“Did Max tell you why I left my old school?” He asks, quietly.

“No,” you answer, voice low and tentative. “Max doesn’t tell people stuff like that.”

He shrugs, though he supposes that makes sense- he’d refused to tell Oscar what had happened to you. Max seems loyal like that. Oscar rolls a pebble beneath his shoe and listens to your breathing to remind himself you’re still there. He wants you to know this. Wants to share. Wants you to know he understands, at least a little bit.

“I got scouted by them my senior year,” he starts, closing his eyes. Like this, he’s almost right back in it. “And I was really excited. And then I got there and… the guys on the team were awful. I didn’t get any playing time, and they’d all been friends since they were kids, and I felt like such an outsider.” He kicks the pebble down the path lightly. “By the time my sophomore year rolled around, I hated it. I hated hockey. I’d spent my whole life doing nothing but that but I dreaded every practice. I was…”

He huffs. Squeezes his eyes shut tighter. He can feel the hits from his own teammates at practice. Can feel that same empty, lonely feeling sitting at the end of the bench. He can taste the blood in his mouth when he tried to stand up for himself and the team captain shoved him and the coach did nothing.

“It was fucked,” he says. He hates the way his voice wobbles. “So I quit. I walked out. I was done with hockey. I couldn’t even go near the rink for months.”

“But you’re here now,” you say, quietly.

He nods sharply. “I had this old coach- his name’s Mark. Showed up on his doorstep and told him the whole thing. He and Seb used to be teammates. So he got me a tryout. I refused, at first. And then Seb sent Max to come talk to me.”

He remembers that, clear as day, too. Max, bright and smiling, at his dorm room door. He knew who Max was, he had looked up to him for years. Max had walked in, planted himself on the floor in the room, and hadn’t left until Oscar changed his mind.

“I spent the summer training back home. Found my love for it again,” he explains. “But it wasn’t easy. I think I’m still working on it, sometimes.”

You hum next to him. You squeeze his hand again. His breath hitches. Your skin is warm against his. It makes his chest ache. He hadn’t known who he was without his sport. He thinks maybe you know that feeling better than anyone else.

“I’m sorry you got hurt,” he says into the night air. “And I know you must’ve heard it a billion times, and that I don’t really understand what it’s like to have it taken away like that. But…”

“But you get it,” you say, voice rough around the edges. “The lonely feeling.”

He nods and swallows against the lump in his throat. “And thank you. For making things less lonely here.”

“I’m sorry if I was too much,” you answer.

He just shakes his head. “I’m sorry I was so… stuck.”

You’re quiet for a few moments, before you squeeze his hand again. “Come on, let’s go on a walk.”

You knit your fingers with his, properly, and Oscar expects you to start down the sidewalk again. You don’t. Instead, your feet carry you down the path through the park. He understands now, that this place must hold awful memories. Reminders of what was supposed to be, what was taken away. You’re trusting him with this. It sits heavy on his shoulders.

He doesn’t push, doesn’t ask more questions. When you walk past the soccer field, he turns to sneak a glance at your face. There’s sadness in your eyes, but a smile on your lips. There’s a strength, there, too, that he finds starkly beautiful. You hold onto him tightly, and together, you make it through the park, all the way to your apartment.

He leaves you at the door with a quiet goodnight and a promise to see each other the next day for the regular study session. The exam is on Tuesday, so it’ll be his last excuse to spend time with you like that. He walks home in silence, through the park, and tries not to stare at the soccer goal. That night, he dreams of soccer fields and hockey rinks and you.

…..

When Oscar gets home just before your normal study time the next day, there’s music pouring out of the front door before he even opens it. It’s louder once he does. The house seems mostly empty, but someone is either having a very good or very bad day. He wavers in the doorway, wondering if he should call you. He’s still there when you walk in behind him, bumping into his shoulder. He turns to look at you, eyes wide. Yours are even wider.

“I don’t think we can study here,” he says, frowning.

You shake your head. “We can go to my place.”

So he packs up his things into his backpack, avoiding whatever is going on in Charles’ room that has him causing permanent damage to his eardrums. Then the two of you take off down the street, towards your apartment. He slows only slightly at the turn for the park, waiting to see what you’ll do. You turn down the path through the park and loop your arm in his. He looks away in the hopes that you don’t see the smile that creeps across his face.

Your apartment is, honestly, exactly how he’d always pictured it. It’s soft and cozy and colorful. There’s a well loved, overstuffed couch in the living room, a little table in the kitchen, and so much stuff on the walls. Music posters, photos blown up big, and… collages. Some in frames, some tacked up with tape, scattered across the place. Perfect mixtures of magazine cutouts and pieces of paper and he swears he even spots a dried flower on one.

“Wow,” he says, studying the one that hangs over the couch. “These are so cool.”

You’re in the kitchen, grabbing a snack, and you turn over your shoulder. “Oh. Thanks. I made a lot of them when I was injured. I had nothing better to do, yknow?”

He sees a chunk of an x-ray in the corner of the piece, and his heart twists. You walk up next to him, shoulder to shoulder. When he looks at you, you’re smiling softly. He likes that look on your face. He wants to keep it there, and suddenly he dreads studying physics because he knows how stressed you’re going to be.

“We’ll have to make some sometime,” you say, nudging your elbow against his. “There’s a billion hockey magazines in a closet at your house.”

“I don’t have an artistic bone in my body,” he says.

You laugh. “That’s the fun of collages. You don’t have to.”

He settles in on one end of the couch, and you settle into the other. The soft light of the lamp in the living room makes it feel warm, the same way your hand in his had felt the day before. He tries so, so hard to focus on physics. It’s just… he’s in your apartment, and you’re there, knees curled to your chest, brow furrowed in concentration, and… something about this feels so soft.

He clears his throat, opens his textbook, and flips to the review questions. “Alright. Ready?”

The two of you study for hours. Oscar doesn’t know when it happens, but at some point you move closer, so you can look off the same textbook. Physics terms and formulas and theories rattle around in his brain, all wrapped up with thoughts of you. The sun goes down, and the windows to the outside grow dark. He doesn’t want to leave. He wants to stay right here.

“My brain is full,” you mumble, between a yawn.

You drop your head against his shoulder, and his heart pounds in his chest. He shouldn’t be feeling like this, he knows it. You’re just tired, that’s all.

He nods in agreement. “Mine too. I can go home. We should get a good night’s sleep.”

You nod against his shoulder and then make no move to pull away. “In a minute,” you say. “Your arm is comfy.”

Butterflies- actual, real life butterflies, he swears it- swirl in his stomach. It doesn’t mean anything. He’s seen you fall asleep on Charles’ shoulder during movie nights, watched you curl up on Max’s bed and take a nap while everyone around you talked. He’s just another friend, another shoulder to lean on. This doesn’t mean anything, and besides, it shouldn’t mean anything, so why is his stomach swirling with butterflies, and why does his face feel hot?

When you finally pull away and help him pack up his things, he hopes you can’t tell how he’s feeling. You walk him to the door and wait for him to put on his shoes and jacket. It’s just so you can lock it behind him, he knows. But then you reach up and smooth the hair from his forehead and laugh, and his chest aches fiercely, and god, he could kiss you- not even really kiss you, just on the forehead or the cheek would do. He says goodnight instead and steps out into the hallway, then makes his feet carry him down the stairs and out to the sidewalk.

He walks past the soccer field and finds himself hoping that maybe you felt it too.

He gets up early the next morning and finds Max in the kitchen with coffee ready to go. He grabs two travel mugs- his, and yours. Max raises an eyebrow as he spreads cream cheese on a bagel. Oscar does the same in response.

“You were out late last night,” Max says, eyeing him.

He doesn’t bother asking how Max knows when he got back. He feels like it’s written plainly all over his face. He can feel the weight of you against his shoulder. Can feel your hand brushing his hair from his face. Can feel how much he wants to lean in. Max must see it.

“I was studying,” he says, carefully.

“With Bunny,” Max suggests, and Oscar nods. “But not here.”

“No, we got here and Charles was blasting music,” Oscar explains. “So we went to her place.”

“He failed an exam,” Max says, face scrunched up. “Well. He assumes he did. You know Charles.”

Oscar nods. Max is staring at him as he pours hot coffee into mugs. He’s not sure what the team captain is looking for, but he hopes he doesn’t find it.

“She told you,” he says, quietly, and Oscar looks up from the mugs, nearly spilling coffee all over.

He clears his throat. “Yeah.”

Max nods and finally turns back to his bagel. “Good.”

That’s that, then. He puts the lids on the coffee, and Max sends him out the door with two bagels- one for him, one for you. He almost feels like he’s passed some sort of test when Max gives him a sharp nod as he turns to leave, but he’s not sure which test it would even be.

He finds you in the lobby before the exam, hands off the coffee and the bagel and tells you he knows you’re going to do well. You smile brightly at him, and he swears it lights up the whole building.

“We’ve got this,” you say, nudging him with your elbow. “And if we don’t, we’ll retake it together.”

He nods in agreement. The two of you sit on a bench and eat your bagels and drink your coffee. Oscar wishes he could attribute the warmth in his belly to the drink, but he’s pretty sure it has more to do with the way you smile up at him and the weight of your shoulder against his. Either way, it sends him into the exam with a good feeling, and that’s really all he can ask for.

…..

Oscar finds himself feeling sad when the holiday break rolls around this year. It’s a weird feeling. For years, he’s looked forward to December for this reason. The exams are over, he gets time off from school, a chance to go home or have his family visit, and a break from everything. He realizes, as he’s staring up at the ceiling, listening to Lando lugging a suitcase around, that he’s going to miss his friends when they leave for the break. It’s been two years since the last time he called his teammates friends.

He drags himself out of bed and into the hallway, because if Lando’s leaving, he wants to say goodbye. And sure enough, there he is, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants and taking an enormous suitcase down the stairs one step at a time. Oscar spots you on the ground floor, watching in amusement, and he waves at you.

“Morning, Oscar,” you call out. “Ready for the break?”

He scrubs a hand through his hair and shrugs. “Yeah.”

You raise your brows. “That was convincing,” you say, sarcasm dripping from your lips.

He bites back a laugh, not wanting to give you the satisfaction of having called him out. “It’ll be nice to see my family. Just weird to have everyone gone, yknow?”

Lando, who’s made it down three stairs, turns to look at him. “Aw, he’s gonna miss us!” He coos, and Oscar feels his face go red.

Before he can jump to his own defense or try to come up with something to tease Lando about, you speak up from the bottom of the steps.

“Yeah, and we’re gonna miss him, Lando,” you say, shaking your head. “Jesus. Oscar, would you just shove him and the giant suitcase down the steps?”

Oscar’s trying not to dwell on you saying you’ll miss him, too. It shouldn’t affect him nearly as much as it does right now. It makes his stomach twist. He keeps the smile plastered on his face and forces a laugh, and Lando glares at him as menacingly as Lando can glare at anyone. He brushes off the feeling and grabs the side handle of Lando’s suitcase, then helps him lug it down the stairs. Lando shoots him a smile to replace the glare as they get it to the bottom floor. Then he pats him on the shoulder and ruffles his hair. Oscar winces.

“Bye, Piastri,” he says, grinning. “Have a good break.”

He pulls the giant suitcase towards the front door. You stay standing there, even as Lando steps outside and sighs at the sight of the front steps. Oscar steps off the staircase and lands near you, arms swinging at his sides.

“You’re staying here all break, right?” You ask.

He nods. “My family will be here Monday, though.”

“Nice,” you say, smiling wide. “Well. I bought more TimTams and Vegemite, so they should feel right at home.”

Warmth bubbles up in Oscar’s chest. “Thanks.”

You nod. The two of you stand there for a few seconds, and he wonders if you’re holding your breath, too. You shift back and forth on your feet, and then before he knows it, you’re against his chest, arms around him. He barely has time to hug you back before you pull away, and that’s the only bad part about it. He would hold you forever, if he could, he thinks. And honestly, that’s terrifying.

You pull away, and he hopes you don’t notice how red his cheeks are. “Bye, Oscar,” you say, almost shyly.

“Bye, Bunny,” he says back.

Lando calls your name from the front door, and you scurry off. He sighs. He swears he can still smell your shampoo, and then hates himself for knowing what your shampoo even smells like. He shoves his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt and turns back towards the stairs, ready to head back to his room, crawl back into bed, and go back to sleep. He jumps in shock when he finds Alex and George standing at the top of the stairs, leaning on the railing.

“That was interesting, wasn’t it, Alex,” George says.

“Quite interesting, I’d say,” Alex nods, scratching his chin thoughtfully.

Oscar rolls his eyes and takes the stairs two at a time. “You guys are creepy.”

They both just laugh as Oscar pushes past them and into his room. He shuts the door behind him, flops down onto the bed face first, and closes his eyes. Outside, he hears Logan’s car start up- the guy really needs to get the thing fixed, it’s loud as hell, but at least it still runs. He closes his eyes and reminds himself that it’ll only be a few weeks until you’re back in town. Then he wonders when having you around became so important to him. He rolls over, buries his face in the pillow, and goes to sleep.

notes: a lil osc pov!! thank you for reading! check out the winter break blurb, or find part 4 here!

tags: to be added or removed just let me know!! crossed out names were unable to be tagged- if it’s yours, shoot me a message!

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series taglist: @sourskywalker @ivyvlair @gwginnyweasley @annispamz @bearlul @aresriiots @ggaslyp1 @verstoppenheimer @black-fireproofs @smilinlemon @arieslost @floralkoi @vicurious28 @likedbygaslyy @rorabelle15 @bwormie @treatallwithkindness @fandomnerd11 @adhxmoony @sakuramxchii @insunia @mindflay3r @talking-raw @coolmathgames2 @assholeinatrenchcoat @saachiep81 @venusacrossthestars @v1naco @anthonylockwoodandco111 @whalebursoot-main @ellen3101 @k-pevensie28 @ninifee1802 @avg-golden-retriever @pleasecallmeunhinged @andruuu28 @aceofswordsandarrows @dreamsarebig @secretunnels @ginsengi @yayahnaise @f1petra @lovecarsgoingvroom

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violetrainbow412-blog · 10 months

Text

Birthday wishes [S. R.]

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Word count: 6.4k

Summary: everyone seems to forget Spencer's 30th birthday, but he only cares that you remember it.

second part here!

contents: childhood best friends, idiots who-don't-know-they're-in-love, surprise parties, pure fluff honestly

If you like my work leave a comment or reblog, that would make me very happy!

The first thing Spencer did when he got home was get rid of his converse and even though it had been a relatively calm day he was exhausted, so he went straight to the bedroom to throw himself on the bed. He lay back for a while, just enjoying the calm, and then he fumbled for the cell phone in his briefcase. He hit the call button on the contact he'd wanted to talk to all day and then he waited patiently.

“L/N family residence, who do you want me to contact you with?”

"Hello, is Miss Y/N by any chance?"

"Who's looking for her?" you continued and a smile escaped from his lips. It was usual for you to respond in a silly way when he called you, so he was used to it by now.

"Her best friend, Dr. Spencer Reid"

“Spencer Reid? Spencer Reid, I don't think that sounds familiar…” you teased, hearing him snort from the other end of the line “Ah! Wait, I remember you."

“After knowing each other for like 20 years, I hope so” he laughed, and then you too.

Sure enough, the man and you were friends from a very early age. You were his neighbor when he lived in Las Vegas and your parents had always been quite nice to the family, knowing the delicate situation they faced, so it wasn’t difficult for you to become friends. You were the first friend he ever had, a real one, so there was a special fondness between you, even when he had gone off to college at such a young age and distance had subsequently separated the two of you.

You always called each other and every time he visited his mother it was a law that you also received a visit, even if the time was only enough for you to greet each other with a hug. You also traveled to DC a few times because of your work and you even had your own key to his apartment, so if he was busy with a case, you could stay there instead of paying for a hotel. Your relationship was like that of a brother and sister, although as this familiarity grew, it was slightly intervened by loving feelings that you didn’t want to face yet but were definitely there.

You knew a lot about his life from those long-distance calls that happened at least once a week, and right now he was excited about something in particular. He was exactly one week away from his thirty-year birthday, and he hoped that, like every year, you would fly from Las Vegas to see him. It was a tradition, whether it was thunder or lightning, you two hadn't missed a single birthday from the other since he had to move out of state. So Spencer was hoping that this call was for you guys to plan what you were going to do; regularly your birthdays were in restaurants or nice places and his were at home, with food delivery and classic movies, or when you felt very adventurous you could go to a museum or just walk through the streets.

"How are you, Reid? How is everything?"

"Not so good, but not so bad either" he laughed "And you?"

"Everything has been terrible, it's like a curse is on my head, I swear" you complained. Spencer got up from his comfortable position to sit on the bed and although he knew that most of the time you said things like that you were just exaggerating, this time he had a bad feeling.

"Why?”

You started to tell him about the financial problems you were going through and he, with his mind still focused on your visit, thought about offering to pay for your flight to DC, but his spirits fell completely when you told him that you were being put under too much pressure at work.

“We're going to have a meeting next Friday with HR to discuss responsibilities and so on, but honestly I don't think things will get better. Right now I'm working from home because there are pending issues that have to be resolved as soon as possible and I barely have time to think during the day, you seriously can't imagine how busy I've been.”

When you finished the story, he remained silent, feeling his chest squeezed by the direction that things were now taking. With that scenario, your visit was too complicated and he was debating internally about whether he should tell you something about it or not. As he had thought before, the money to have you with him wasn’t a problem, but dealing with the issue of your shortened times was totally different. He didn't want to make you feel guilty for not being able to go, let alone disrupt activities that he knew were important to you, like that meeting you just mentioned. So what should he do? He wanted you to be there, but he wasn't going to make you.

“Crash? You still there?" you asked. Only you and his mother called him that, since his nickname had arisen when he was just a child due to his clumsiness, a trait that, in your opinion, he still retained. It wasn't offensive coming from you, even he was glad to know that this was something that belonged to the two women he loved the most.

"Yes, I'm here. I just was thinking"

"You always do, I don't think there's a single second when that mind of yours rests," you said amused "Anyway, what's new?"

Spencer hoped that you would at least apologize to him for your future absence or ask him what he intended to do today. But you seemed not even aware of it.

“Nothing, really. Today we're done with a case and if I'm lucky I'll be able to rest this weekend” he murmured. Sometimes he would tell you things about the cases, omitting bloody and dangerous details, so he leaned back and started recounting all the events into the speaker of his phone.

You two continued to talk for almost an hour, but the topic of the birthday didn't come up once and Spencer didn't try to bring it up. After all, there were still a few days to go and in the worst case, you could at least call him that day to congratulate him, right?

But as the days went by, the anxiety ate him more and he even called you a few days after that, but he only received a response from your mailbox and after a few minutes a short text message where you explained that you were a little busy with work, but that you would call him as soon as you could. The fact that during those days he found out that the entire team already had something to do on Friday didn’t help his mood too much.

Hotch and JJ discussed a sleepover for Henry and Jack after work, he overheard Garcia and Morgan agreeing to visit a new bar for the night, Rossi said he was going to visit one of his ex-wives and when he thought he could still invite Emily to hang out, she went over to talk to him about the therapist appointment that she clearly didn't want to go to, but had to. There was no remedy, everyone had plans for his birthday and he didn’t want to interfere with them. Resignation was the only thing the doctor had left during the remaining days, and when he least expected it, the entire week had already passed.

He used to wake up to your off-key version of the birthday song and a cupcake with a candle stuck in it, then you'd make breakfast and you'd eat it together; so not having any of that when he got out of bed, he felt his heart break a little. This year he thought he would get your call first thing in the morning, but when he checked his phone he didn't even find a message announcing that there was a case. He didn't want to go to the office to do paperwork on his birthday, but the thought of at least getting a hug from his coworkers cheered him up slightly.

He put on his favorite shirt, a new pair of pants, and the converse that you had given him and he only wore on special occasions, before leaving the apartment. For some reason Spencer enjoyed taking the subway, perhaps more than anyone he knew, and this time he stopped at a coffee shop that was just before arriving to buy something to drink, since he didn't feel like eating anything.

He undertook the entire trip lost in his thoughts and when he least expected it, he was already at the headquarters. He checked his phone, again, but he still didn't get any notifications or missed calls. Many times you had insisted that he get a more modern model and he had refused, but now he was wondering if the advances in technology would have allowed him to communicate with you through a video call. It would be embarrassing to ask Garcia for a favor, so he concluded that he would just wait, after all if he hadn't communicated it must have been for something important.

Upon entering, he greeted everyone with a huge smile and he felt somewhat disconcerted when the others greeted him normally, without hugs or cake on the table. He sat down at his desk to start going through the documents he already had and the others continued on their own business. It was common for Emily or Morgan to come up to him for a chat, but on this particular day it was as if they were avoiding him. Even Penelope, who he swore would congratulate him, seemed to have completely forgotten when he came to her place with the excuse of needing a piece of information from the previous case. When Hotch called him to his office, the man's eyes lit up, believing that his boss had remembered the celebration of the date.

"Can you do me a favor?" he had asked, without taking his eyes off whatever he was writing "Donovan needs to sort some files and honestly he has no idea how to do it and I'm too busy to explain, could you do it?"

Donovan was in charge of the physical file inside the building and it was not usual for him to request this kind of support, but Reid still said yes, and the rest of the day passed with him locked in a cellar full of filing cabinets. He had made sure to take his phone with him and every time he turned it on to check it and he realized that there was no sign of you his disappointment increased. He came to wonder if his mind hadn't been playing tricks on him and, for some incredible reason, he had gotten the day wrong and it wasn't really October 12; but when he saw the calendar, he verified that this wasn’t possible.

“Are you out of punishment yet?” Emily taunted, when after many hours she saw him again by the bullpen. At another time Spencer would have laughed, but right now his mood wasn't quite right for it and he just looked at her, more hostile than he intended. “Hotch left you some documents on your desk, he asked if you could review them before you go. It's urgent,” she informed him.

It was obvious that this would take time and he felt like crying at the thought of having to stay longer than the regular time. It was almost an hour after everyone else had gone home that he finished, feeling somewhat annoyed to find out that even Aaron had already left.

He doubted whether to go home or go to dinner somewhere, because he knew that if he returned to the apartment he would sink into sadness. His birthdays didn't mean anything special on their own, what he liked was to feel loved, to enjoy the company, but above all to see you.

While he was leaving the building, and as if you were reading his mind, a call vibrated on his cell phone. Seeing that it was you, Spencer didn't take more than two seconds to answer, thinking that maybe after the whole day he could improve.

"You won't believe what happened to me!" you said, without even greeting him. It wasn't the kind of sentence he was expecting, but he still decided to listen.

"What happened?"

“There is a boy, at my work, his name is Brandon. Well, Brandon and I have talked a few times now and he seems like a nice person, plus he's pretty handsome and he finally asked me out on a date with him, can you believe it?" you murmured excitedly, and a lump formed in Spencer's throat "We're going out today, the meeting was canceled and we decided to take advantage of the time, but I can't decide whether to wear the red dress or the black and gold outfit that my mom gave me and I need the help of an expert. You have seen both, which one do you think suits me better?

Spencer was quiet for a moment, processing the situation she was going through, and it wasn't until you said his name that he reacted.

"I like your red dress," he murmured, with a sad smile that you clearly couldn't see. He couldn't believe you were going out with a man you'd never mentioned and it affected him more than he expected you to be asking for advice because a pang of jealousy shot through his chest.

You were telling him that you were going to have a date on his birthday.

“I thought the same! I guess that will be the best option."

"I guess…"

"Where are you now? At home?" you kindly asked. Your tone almost made him angry.

“I just got off work. I'm on my way to take the subway"

"Oh, excellent. Today there were no cases?"

"Not fortunately. I'm glad to know that the criminals at least respected my birthday."

With that said, there was a deathly silence between you, to the point where he wondered if you were still on the other end of the line or if you understood what he was implying.

“Spencer, my God, I…”

"It's okay if you forgot," he said, trying to play the matter down, but the tears that were beginning to accumulate in his eyes indicated otherwise. The guilty tone with which you had spoken was more than enough to know that, probably, if he hadn’t mentioned it, you wouldn’t have done it either "Nobody remembered it"

"I'm so sorry" you practically sobbed "Between all the work and stuff I... I don't even know why I forgot, forgive me”

"It’s okay" he replied. But it wasn't okay.

“Can I do something to fix it? Whatever, you just… ask me what you want and I'll do it. I swear," you mumbled, sounding desperate.

He tried to convince you that there was no problem with it and you continued to pour out apologies, which Spencer knew were worthless now but he wasn't selfish enough to ignore them. He wanted to scream, cry, or do anything to get that weight off his chest and even though he loved the sound of your voice right now it was the last thing he needed.

“Anyway, I'm about to enter the subway and uh, I have almost no signal there. I'll call you later, okay?" the question didn’t wait for an answer, because he immediately added: "Good luck on your date, bye"

If he had considered going out to celebrate, he knew that now what he urgently needed was to go home or he would break down in tears in the middle of the street. The ride on the subway lasted longer than he would have liked, as he longed to go to sleep and find out if it would allow him to forget a bit about the shitty day he had just had. When he was finally in front of the door with the number 23 in gold letters, he struggled enormously to put the key into the lock, because the tears in his eyes were already clouding his vision, and he believed that the heaviness on his shoulders wouldn’t allow him to advance.

The key turned one turn, then another, and then Spencer was allowed inside the house.

One week before…

The team was meeting in the conference room at the request of Penelope, who had asked everyone to stay after the scheduled time, waiting to receive the news of what they thought would surely be a new case.

"And Reid?" Morgan asked, noticing the empty chair next to him, because they had seen him leave and that was reason enough to have questions about his absence.

"I'm glad you asked because this meeting is related to him," Garcia replied. With the push of a button, a face appeared on the main screen and almost everyone present was surprised to see who it was "She is Y/N Y/L/N, do you remember her?"

"You were at Prentiss's funeral, right?"

"That's right" you replied with a smile, looking directly at the aforementioned "I still have a little trouble understanding, uh... that whole thing, to be honest" you joked.

"Y/N asked us for this space to discuss something related to Spencer's birthday, which will be next Friday" explained Hotch, who was the other member who was already aware of the matter "The microphone is all yours"

"Okay, so where do I start? It's great to see all of you and I hope you're doing well. Every year I visit Spencer on his birthday and we spend the day together, but since this year is his 30th birthday I wanted to do something special and I want to know if you would be willing to help me”

"Tell us your plan, precious"

“I don't intend to take up a lot of your time, it's simple. I will call him today to insinuate that this year I can’t go and all I want you to do is pretend that day that you don’t remember that it’s his birthday”

"Wait, why do you want us to ignore it?" JJ muttered with a frown.

"I want to throw him a surprise party in his apartment" you explained with a smile and then the request you were making to them didn't sound so farfetched "You can tell him you have plans that day and if he mentions something you just say you can't go. I bought my flight for that day and I will be in the city starting in the morning, so I can prepare everything”

"And how will we do if he invites us somewhere?"

Morgan suggested using a decoy for him and pretending they were taking him somewhere else, but you balked at the idea.

“I have all my hopes that he doesn��t mention anything. If so, we'll manage somehow. And I know that asking for that is difficult because we are all his friends, but if necessary, avoid him completely that day. We need him to know under no circumstances that we have a surprise for him."

“He is very smart and he will figure it out. If we make him believe that we forgot he will concentrate on that” you argued. Although the others didn't want to admit it, they knew that you had a point there "I just hope you don't have some unforeseen case or something like that, because I would hate for that lie to be for nothing"

You discussed some more until you concluded that your plan was the most viable. The girls would help you with ideas for decorations and David even offered to buy all the drinks. Although the others weren’t surprised by his generosity, you were slightly upset, but this didn’t prevent you from accepting the offer and thanking him in advance.

“It really means a lot to me that you guys help me, thanks” you murmured happily, once everything was settled, and then your phone started ringing in the background “It's Spencer! I have to answer him. If something happens, you guys will tell me, right?"

"Take it for granted" smiled Garcia, who was the one who had lived with you the most, but everyone supported her from the bottom.

"Fine, thanks everyone, thanks Agent Hotch, I'll see you later!" you said goodbye, hanging up the video call and simultaneously answering the phone.

Everyone got up from the conference room and Rossi was the first to speak, a smile on his face.

"Call me crazy..." he started to say "but something tells me that girl and Spencer are going to end up together"

"The pretty boy loves her, but he still doesn't notice it," Morgan laughed, as they all walked out. "Whenever we go to Vegas, his eyes shine when he sees her."

“And she's setting this up for him! It's so sweet" Penelope sighed, who had already taken Derek's arm "But the part about being mean to Spencer doesn't convince me much… he's going to be so sad"

"Look at it this way, babygirl: if he's sad he'll be happier than usual with the surprise."

"Nobody's going to screw it up," Emily threatened them, pointing her index finger at them, and the rest of the team promised they wouldn't.

Meanwhile, your first part of the plan was in the works, with the late-night call he had made to you. You had to admit that lying to your best friend was something you hated, but with any luck it would all be worth it when you could hug him and give him that gift that you had carefully kept on one of the shelves, that you hoped could be enough for such an important event like the first thirty years of life.

What happened during the week is history, which was consolidated at the moment he turned the handle without even imagining what awaited him.

When Spencer walked through the door the first thing he did was turn on the light and he felt like he was going to have a heart attack when he heard the screams coming from inside. There were purple balloons scattered all over the floor, a congratulations banner, a table full of presents, and everyone was there.

The shock was such that he couldn't even manage to say a word and some of the tears that he had been holding back were finally able to come out, but this time for different reasons.

They hadn’t forgotten.

"How…? What are you doing here?"

“We came to celebrate your birthday, genius,” Morgan laughed, as he reached over to hug his friend and ruffled his hair brotherly.

A wave of hugs preceded that and even he received a couple of kisses on each cheek from Rossi, which finally made him laugh. He seemed like a child, completely fascinated with everything around him and still processing the situation.

In the midst of it all, he couldn't help wondering how his friends had been able to enter the apartment, since none of them had a copy of the key and the landlady was too suspicious to have let them in just like that, but he felt happy for the direction the day had taken.

“First of all, we have another surprise for you,” said JJ, obviously excited. The rest shared complicit glances and García began to record with his cell phone, which made him a little nervous "But you have to close your eyes."

Spencer looked at everyone else as if waiting for a confirmation of that, and seeing a couple of nods he did what his friend was asking. Just to make sure Jennifer covered his eyelids with her hands and in this way she turned him around, while he wondered what this surprise could be about.

"Are you ready?" she asked and the man answered yes with a hum. There was silence for a second, as if they were checking something, and then she withdrew her hand. "Open them."

Many possibilities went through the man's mind for whatever he would see at that moment, but when he did, he felt his heart stop for a moment. There you were, looking at him with a sweet smile and wearing that red dress.

The rest of those present were waiting for who would make the first move, because the two of you had froze looking at each other, and García was only pointing the camera carefully as you had requested.

"Surprise?" you said shyly, noticing that Spencer hadn't said anything.

You were afraid that after the call you had he was upset with you in some way, but a second after he recovered from the shock he was already on top of you, holding you by the waist to spin you through the air while you laughed heartily.

"You came," he said, his voice cracking, but completely brimming with happiness.

"Of course I would, Spencer, do you think I'd miss your birthday?"

"But you... your work"

"All a vile lie"

"And that boy?"

“There was never such a thing,” you laughed, freeing yourself from the weight of guilt “You're my only boy,” you added affectionately, palms planted squarely on your friend's cheeks. He still had you in his arms and was grinning from ear to ear at your answers "I'm so sorry I told you all that, I just didn't want you to suspect anything, can you forgive me?"

"No!" he practically squealed and you widened your eyes in amazement “Today was the most terrible day because I thought you didn't care about me anymore, you made me suffer! All of you!" your friend complained, looking away from you briefly to look at those present.

"In our defense, she asked us to," Emily laughed, holding up both hands in surrender.

"You're so mean," he murmured, turning his attention back to you. "But I love you so much.”

A group sigh filled the room as he engulfed you in a hug and from your position you could see the teasing or tender smiles they all had. It wasn't very common to see the youngest of the team in that position, much less saying those things, plus we had to add the collective opinion that you were madly in love.

"Seriously, forgive me"

"It’s okay…" he whispered close to your ear "You're here, that's what matters"

His body felt so soft and safe that you didn't want to stop hugging him, but you knew that if you took too long it would create an uncomfortable environment for the rest, so you had no choice but to gently pull him away from you. The woman asked your friend, just to annoy him, if he liked his surprise and although he didn't say anything, the giant smile and flushed cheeks were enough of an answer.

"Come, you won't escape my melodious voice" you murmured after a few seconds, when the commotion calmed down a bit.

Taking him by the hand, you led him to the table where you had the chocolate cake with a couple of candles that formed the number 30. Everyone sang the song while the wick burned down and the boy looked anywhere, with that certain shyness characteristic of him. When he blew out the candle to make his wish, you all applauded and that started the celebration.

There were some appetizers on the table and Rossi had stocked all the drinks quite well, as he had promised. As the minutes passed you hovered here and there to check that things were in order, arranging everything as if it were your own apartment, and Spencer could only smile at how well you seemed to get along with everyone. The last time you'd seen the team was, sure enough, during Emily's funeral, but that didn't mean there wasn't some history between you.

He still remembered the feeling of shame when in the early years he had asked Gideon for permission to summon someone to the hotel during a case in Las Vegas. It wasn't that he was ashamed of you, but that he was ashamed of having to reveal something so important in his life to his FBI colleagues. The agent didn't object at all, but that didn't spare the man from being grilled by Derek and Elle about which mysterious lady their younger coworker was talking to. Over the years, people left the unit, and others joined, but the constant was always you. Even now, if a replacement happened, Spencer knew that the rest of the team would take it upon themselves to introduce you to said person.

At some point he felt a tremendous nostalgia for that time and in a chain of thoughts he came to ask himself if working where he did was the right thing to do. Turning thirty was cause for celebration, but for him it was also tantamount to thinking how well he had lived up to the expectations of what he expected to have achieved at this age: How much progress should he have made in the world by now? Was it any use having that brilliant mind that everyone raved about if he was working in a government office? And what about his personal life? He wanted to get married at some point and wondered if he should be looking for love instead of criminals. Even while he was through all this, he wished he could focus on how happy his friends had made him instead of worrying about other things.

"Up to here I can see the gears of your brain" laughed someone next to him. It was Emily "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" he murmured, shaking his head softly "I was thinking about some things, it's just that"

"You should drink some more, that wine that Dave brought tastes delicious" she smiled, inviting him to come closer to the others to chat.

It was a bit ironic, but completely understandable, that even at his own birthday party he would remain a bit oblivious to the situation. Following Emily's advice, he poured himself another drink and joined the other attendees to enjoy the moment. For hours you laughed and chatted, until the drinks were running out and your drunkenness rising.

The parents of the group were the first to leave and the last was a drunk Penelope who threatened to stay there to sleep, but Derek took it upon himself to guide her to his car to take her home. It was late at night when only you and Spencer were left, amidst all the decorations in the room.

"Peace and tranquility"

"It was too much?" you laughed, knowing that your friend could become overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle.

"No, no. Just kidding"

“And was it okay for you? You had fun?" you asked, referring to the party, as the two of you sat down on the leather couch. The dress you were wearing rose to the top of your thighs and his attention strayed there for a second, so he looked up guiltily; He didn't help the blush on his cheeks that there was your cleavage.

"Everything was wonderful"

"Are you seriously not mad at me?" you insisted

"No, honey, I'm not," he laughed. You tried to ignore the fact that he had said that to you, since it wasn't something he was used to, and just smiled sheepishly, "I mean, at first I was a little, but now that I understand why you did it, I'm not anymore."

“You are already thirty… you are so old!”

"You are older than me!" he squealed, completely offended, and you responded with a laugh. Although that was true, you looked more jovial than the man, something that a variety of people had taken it upon themselves to verify.

"Now that I remember, do you want to see your gift?"

"Isn't this supposed to be my gift?" The confusion was evident in his voice and you refrained from answering, as you bolted into the room. You came back from there with a box in your hands, which you later placed on your lap with evident emotion.

“I wrapped it myself” you confessed, rather proud of yourself. You had found a piece of paper to cover with drawings of equations and small microscopes that you thought captured the essence of your friend and, of course, now that he had seen it, he had liked it a lot.

The man's fingers drummed the surface under your expectant gaze, and then he winced slightly.

"What's up?"

"I don't know, I think maybe I should open it later…"

"Spencer Reid!" you yelled. It was obvious that he was only joking with you and you knew that by the laugh that escaped his lips.

Your friend opened the box almost ceremonially and then removed the tissue paper that covered the contents: above all there were two hardcover books, one about the world of fungi and the other about poetry, next to it an hourglass, then three boxes with jigsaw puzzles, a pocket chess game, packets of Reid's favorite sweets, and last but not least, a picture of the two of you in a pretty chocolate-colored frame and a little paper envelope to go with it. One by one he was taking out the gifts and his smile only grew with each object, while he felt his heart grow with love.

"I remember this day" he murmured, referring to the photograph you had chosen. The sky was blue behind you and you were kissing Spencer's cheek, who was smiling at how spontaneous it had been “We were in a park after going to an art exhibition."

“And we bought the most delicious ice cream in the world”

"I differ, I've had better," he murmured, shrugging. The truth is that you thought that the ice cream had been delicious because of the whole panorama of that day, not so much because of the taste itself.

Spencer knew that photo would have to go on his desk in the bullpen, although the taunts he was sure the others would throw at him. Perhaps having you there would serve as a reminder that there was good in the world, despite everything he could see on the job every day.

“Oh, and I read somewhere that hourglasses help people with anxiety because it's relaxing to watch the sand fall so they can focus on it. I thought you might like it, I bought it at an antique store."

"It's very nice" he agreed, turning the object over and checking that it actually worked "I'll open the note, okay?"

Spencer always preferred that you read his letters in private because if he saw your face and knew you were reading those words he would just cringe, but you didn't seem to share that trait so you agreed to his request. As with the box, he carefully opened the envelope and then pulled out a handwritten note.

I hope you like these little gifts that try to express a huge love.

Never doubt that you are making a change in the world and that you are surrounded by people who love you, including your old neighbor who now ironically lives too far from you.

Happy 30th birthday to my favorite person in the entire world. I am confident that many more years will come for both of us.

Always yours, Y/N.

"Don't cry, Reid" you asked gently, feeling your own tears at the edge of your eyes. Spencer smiled and leaned in your direction to wrap you in a hug so hopefully you wouldn't notice if he got emotional.

"Thank you" was the only thing he managed to say.

He wanted to thank you not only for that day but for years of friendship, years of feeling like he wasn't so alone in the world if he had you by his side and even thank you for treating him like a normal kid when no one else did. And as always, you perfectly understood what he was referring to.

You stayed like that for a few minutes; Spencer tucked into the crook of your neck and cooing at the throbbing on your pulse line, and you basking in the warmth of the contact.

“Did you like the puzzles?”

"Yeah! They are great” he replied, as he moved away from you so that he could observe you “Do you want us to put one together?”

“Sure” you smiled “Just let me put on my pajamas and I'll be right back, okay?”

"Good. You look very beautiful in that dress, by the way. I don't know if I forgot to tell you” he flattered you, making you smile sincerely.

"You chose it, remember?"

Before getting up you kindly squeezed his cheek and after changing your clothes you returned to where you were. He had chosen the puzzle with the design of a Monet painting and spread it out on the floor, where the two of you settled comfortably.

Your friend took a bunch of pieces and you took another and you guys worked in silence until little by little things started to come together. He was very good at the task and very soon he already had a considerable part assembled; although you were going a little slower you followed a constant rhythm.

"Hey, Spencer"

"Yeah?" he asked, too intent on finding a place for the piece in his fingers to watch you.

“What was your birthday wish? When blowing out the candles”

"Oh, I didn't wish for anything"

"Why?" you asked confused.

Spencer looked up from the puzzle and smiled at you.

"Because my birthday wish was already right here"

It seemed obvious to him, but it took you a second to understand exactly what he meant and when you finally did, your eyes gave him the sweetest look of all.

You and your friend stayed up all night until the play was over and after that you both stumbled to bed, where you fell fast asleep in each other's arms.

At some point Spencer half-opened his eyes, prisoner of a bad dream, and when he was aware of the situation he felt the peace he needed. After that it didn't take him long to get back to sleep, with a smile on his face and his whole world held in his arms.

taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14 @spencerslove

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #dr spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #jason gideon #JJ #penelope garcía #david rossi #emily prentiss #spencer reid x you

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variety-fangirl · 1 year

Note

Can I request Marc Spector having a marking/spit kink? I feel like it totally captures his tough exterior but also his need for intimacy and closeness

Forever and Always Yours / Marc Spector x fem!reader

Summary: people abandoned him his whole life until he met you, you loved him endlessly despite his flaws. So any threat to that would cause Marc and the boys to become a little... jealous.

Warnings: 18+ NO MINORS SHOO mentions of Jake and Steven. Porn with some plot. Smut obvs 😏 (rough yet vulnerable sex, marking and spit kink, unprotected p in v, female receiving oral, hand job, mild choking, multiple orgasms, vulnerable and intimate behaviour,) lmk if I missed anything!

Author's note: of course my lovely, thank you so much for requesting 😁! I completely agree with you, our baby boy Marc has a very dominating side and yet craves/needs intimacy like his life depends on it. I'm so sorry it took me so long to do, I'm currently moving, finishing college, and trying to listen to my mental health in what I need so writing kind of got put on the back burner for a bit. Hope you love it tho! Thank you for reading, it really does mean the world. Liking, commenting, and reblogging really helps me out.

Word count: 2.8k

Your boys had always been a little... Jealous to say the least. Not that you had minded and it often ended up in my mind-blowing sex so you weren't really complaining but you sometimes wished they knew that they had nothing to worry about. That you were theirs through and through. You never had an issue with reminding any of them of that, which you knew they always appreciated, without even having to say anything. They would always be extremely vulnerable and intimate afterwards, keeping and holding you close with lots of affection on both parts. It was something you had grown to love honestly.

What you hadn't expected though, was for all three to become jealous of your new colleague at work, Justin. He was a super sweet guy, younger than you and on the slightly nerdier side. You had formed a wonderful friendship with him in only a few weeks, helping him to blossom and encouraging him to come out of his shell more. As a thank you, Justin would often buy you coffee and something sweet for breakfast every so often and offer to walk you home on the occasion. You had grown fond of the younger sweet boy, seeing him as a brother you wanted to protect. And you knew he didn't see you as anything more than a friend.

But that didn't stop your boyfriends from freaking out and acting jealous all the same. No matter how many times you had tried to ease their worries or assure them of the only innocent friendship between you and your colleague, they didn't seem to feel any less stressed about the situation. And you weren't exactly sure why. You knew the underlying feelings and traumas hiding beneath that they often refused to talk about, even Steven had been reluctant with information in the three years you'd been with them. You never pushed for further details though, only what they were willing to divulge on their own.

When you finished work this afternoon, it was like any other day. Justin offered to walk you home, his being on the way also, and left together with coffee in hand. The weather was beginning to get colder now, coats and scarves beginning to appear in people's attire. The leaves had begun to turn different colours, with peaks of orange, yellow, and brown forming. You hadn't thought it would be so cold so early, so you'd forgotten to bring a thicker coat or a scarf with you. You begin to shiver, wrapping your coat as tightly around your body and neck as possible but it didn't seem to quench the cold breeze that seemed to blow straight through you. You could feel goosebumps form on your skin. You were almost home luckily.

"You look freezing, come here." Justin fussed, pulling you into his side with an arm wrapped around your shoulder. You smile up at him, "Thank you." He nods with a smile, continuing to chat mindlessly about how his latest date had gone, a friend you had set him up with. You smiled fondly, happy that the pair were getting on great, they seemed well-matched. Ten minutes later and you'd finally reached home, the cold had begun to worsen. "Thank you, Justin, I'll see you Monday yeah? Enjoy your date Saturday!" you call with a smile, waving goodbye as he walked to his own home. "See you Monday, thank you!" he called happily. You watched for a moment to ensure he was okay before making your way inside.

You couldn't wait to eat, you hadn't eaten anything in four hours and had been busy so you were starving. It was Marc's turn to cook tonight, he always had something new up his sleeve, he enjoyed cooking. He and Jake were much alike in that sense, not that poor Steven didn't try love him. Once you finally reached your floor, you unlock the door and unload your belongings in their rightful places, grateful to get your shoes off after being stood on them all day. It was 6 PM on the dot when you looked at the clock and your boyfriend was standing by the window of the living room, looking down at the scenery beneath you.

You smile and walk over, wrapping your arms around his surprisingly tense back after setting your coffee down on the living room table. You frown, wondering if something had happened, "hey baby." You whisper loud enough for him to hear, stroking the clothed skin of his back and sides. "That Justin that walked you?" Marc wondered, not making any move to reciprocate affection or turn to face you. You frown into his back, "Yes it was, why?" you question, sensing something wasn't right in his behaviour. Marc ignored your question as he turned around to finally face you, a look of something unreadable on his face.

His reply came with more annoyance and hostility than when he usually mentioned Justin, "I saw him with his arm wrapped around you, all smiles and holding you close." You sigh, pulling him closer with a small smile as you shake your head, "I was cold and didn't dress for the weather, that's all it was, nothing more baby." Grabbing the back of Marc's neck, you pull him down to connect your lips, tangling your fingers in his dark locks. You squeal into Marc's lips as he pushes you against the wall closest to you both, his hand going around your neck but not constricting your breathing. "You're mine, only mine," Marc growls with intent, tightening his grip on your neck just slightly.

You knew you shouldn't find this such a turn-on, this raw jealous possessiveness over you but damn you just couldn't help it when you felt your desire pool in your underwear, an involuntary moan escaping. Marc grabs your legs and lifts you, your body immediately tangling with his, wanting to be as close as possible. With tongues still exploring one another's mouths and hands pulling to remove each other's clothes, Marc carries you to the bedroom. Your back hits the soft mattress, and your boyfriend immediately climbs on top of you, not wanting to be away from you.

Marc pulls his shirt off, gracing your eyes with his beautifully scarred chest and back, you bite your lip as you touch his skin. You wanted him to know just how much you loved him and wanted no other, "god how did I get so lucky?" you whisper, pulling him down to kiss you once more. You often wondered what you did to deserve three amazing men in your life, gifting you with each of their amazing personalities and qualities that you adored. Your hands explore his skin with freedom as you grind against his crotch, feeling how hard he already was. Marc groaned into your mouth, his hips moving as needily as yours.

Marc pulls back enough to remove your shirt, throwing it on the floor with his. He groans as he sees you hadn't worn a bra today, his hands groping your breasts. You gasp as his fingers brush and play with your nipples, his eyes staring in wonder as they harden at the exposure of multiple sensations at once. Marc's lips attach to your left nipple, licking a stripe up the little nub before sucking gently. You throw your head back with an open mouth as electric jolts of pleasure pulse down to your core, ruining your underwear further. Marc's lips travel up your nipple to the soft flesh of your breast where he bites and sucks, the mix of pleasure from his fingers playing with your right nipple and the pain of his assault on your left breast was delicious. After a few moments, he works his way over to the other breast to repeat the process to mark the other.

As his lips kiss their way down your body to your waist, his fingers make quick work of removing your jeans and underwear. He pulls your remaining clothing down your legs, moving backwards down the bed at the same time to get off. You watch with your bottom lip between your teeth as he discards his remaining clothing on the floor with yours. You smile as he returns on top of you, his face moving to connect with your core. Marc's tongue licked a stripe up your lips before working its way between to give your clit some attention. You cry out, finally feeling some relief of your swollen clit. Marc licked in upwards motions and sucked gently at the little nub, luckily not teasing you any further. His tongue stimulated your clit just the way you liked, each jolt of intense pleasure building the growing knot in your stomach.

"You like that baby?" Marc questions without moving his mouth away from your vagina. You nod frantically, "So good Marc." you knew each of your boys enjoyed hearing their name during sex, it made them individually feel acknowledged and special. Marc groans into your core at the mention of your nap, kitten licking you in between praises. "Look at me, who's making you feel this good?" he demanded softly, looking up at you, but not letting up on the stimulation of your clit. You lift your head to look down at him, almost coming at the sight of his dishevelled hair and swollen pink lips between your legs. You knew Marc and your other boys were possibly feeling a little insecure and jealous about the Justin thing so you wanted to squash any qualms they may have had about it. You moan, "You Marc. Only you, Steven, and Jake can ever make me feel this good and more. No one else."

He seems satisfied with your answer, his eyes flicking to the mirror in the corner of the room behind you, before turning to look back at you. "That's our girl." He dives back in but adds a finger into the mix, making you cry out instantly. The sounds of your juices filled the room obscenely, you were so wet that Marc could add a second finger quickly. It wasn't long before you could feel your orgasm approaching, the intense pleasure building at a rapid pace. "That's it, baby. Come for me." Marc groaned, pumping his fingers inside of you a little faster. You couldn't breathe properly as you approached your high, your body squirming to feel release. You scream loudly as you finally come crashing down, Marc working you through your high. He laps up everything you give him, not leaving one drop to go to waste before crawling up to kiss you.

You can taste yourself on his lips as his tongue invades your mouth, making you moan. You allow your hand to wander down Marc's body, working between his clothing and skin and grabbing his cock. He groans into your mouth as your hand wraps around his cock and slowly begin pumping him, quickly working him into a breathless mess above you. "I love you so much, Marc. You're my everything." You whisper breathily, knowing he needed to hear those words from you to feel reassured. But not just for him, for Steven and Jake also, because you knew they were watching and listening intently right now. Marc presses his forehead against yours at your words, a smile forming on his face and a feral lust-filled look peering back at you.

Marc crashes his lips against yours feverishly, his hands exploring your body wildly but with intent. You rush to remove his remaining clothing, needing to feel his bare body on yours, skin on skin. You hear the soft thump of Marc's clothes hitting the floor alongside your own, allowing you to touch him fully now. Marc wastes no time removing your hand from his cock and lining himself up with your dripping awaiting hole, entering you with no issue, pain, or resistance. Having already prepped you beforehand perfectly. You both gasp as Marc enters you completely, his hips flush with your own. "Fuck baby, you're so tight and wet. Feel so good. Can I move?" He asks breathlessly as he stares directly into your eyes with the most amazing lustful yet loving look you had ever seen.

While biting your lip and staring back, you nod eagerly, wanting nothing more than for him to claim you in all ways he wanted to. He sets a slow pace to begin with, just to help you get used to it before he wrecked you, the ever-considerate boyfriend. It was passionate and mind-numbing, the way his cock slowly yet roughly dragged against your walls, his pelvic area rubbing directly on your clit and stimulating you perfectly. The feeling of Marc's hand gripping your face has you bringing your head back so you can look at him properly, that familiarly dark yet seductive look staring back at you. "Open up for me sweetheart," Marc instructed huskily, already knowing you understood and recognised what he was asking of you.

You open your mouth wide with your tongue sticking out, trying your best not to close your eyes as he continues to slowly fuck you. "Such a good girl for me, that's it, baby." Marc slowly and gently spits into your mouth, savouring the moment that does not happen often, only when he feels particularly possessive over you. "Swallow." You do as you are told, swallowing his saliva and sticking your tongue back out to show you had. The hand on your face moves up to your mouth and inserts two fingers into your mouth, "suck." He instructs, staring intensely as you wrap your lips around his fingers and begin sucking and licking. You moan loudly as Marc removes his fingers and replaces them on your clit instead, stimulating you as he fucked you.

"Oh fuck Marc!" You gasp, feeling the knot beginning to tighten in your stomach. The constant stimulation from his skin on your clit had already had you pushing to the limit, but his fingers were getting you off faster. "Come for me, baby." He groaned as he sped up both his movements, increasing your breathing tremendously. As quickly as it built, it released, your high hitting you like a train for the second time tonight. You scream in delight as Marc worked you through your high once again, now you were exhausted. Marc gives you a few minutes to recover, spending the time showering you with affection.

Marc takes this time to kiss your lips until they are red and swollen, and even then he did not let up. He littered your neck and shoulders with more marks, claiming your skin once more as his own. As if he were an artist painting his blank canvas with signature markings that told it was his work. Painting your skin in purple, red, and black bruises. When Marc asked if it was okay for him to continue and you agreed, he fucked you into a moaning mess. Each thrust was meticulous and targetted, aiming to provide you with as much pleasure as possible.

Marc's groaning sweaty figure above you was something to be marvelled at, he was truly insatiable and the definition of beauty. You felt utterly grateful and lucky that you were the one that got to call him, Steven, and Jake yours. With each thrust, yours and Marc's moans got louder, both becoming more and more needy for the other. As Marc tucked his head into the crook of your neck, you wrapped your arms around his back, nails digging into his beautifully scarred skin, and wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him close. You could feel that Marc was close by the way his thrusts got sloppy and slightly stiff.

Marc feels your walls tighten around his cock, "with me." Marc groans, placing his forehead against your own, breathing one another's air. You scream as the knot releases, exploding into multiple surges of pleasured fireworks that runs through your whole body. Marc groans loudly as he also finishes, his come painting the inside of your walls as he fucks you both through your highs. Marc collapses on top of you once you're both done, panting loudly. You lay with your eyes closed, trying to catch your breath as your nails gently scratch Marc's bare back. His own fingers playing and tracing patterns on your own skin, often digging in a little now and again. You knew in times like this he just needed to be held and loved until he was ready to move or say something.

"I'm yours, forever and always. Nothing can change that." You whisper into his hair, one hand tangling gently into his damp curly locks and your lips placing a soft prolonged kiss onto the side of his forehead. Marc's arms tightened ever so slightly around your body and digs his head further into your neck, "thank you." He whispers into your sweaty skin, lips attaching to your neck regardless.

#Moon knight #marvel #marc spector #marc spector smut #marc spector x reader #smut #fluff #moon boys #moon knight imagine #marc spector moon knight #marvel mcu

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eeunoia · 9 months

Text

ENHYPEN Mini Series

ENHYPEN as Taylor Swift Songs

CRUEL SUMMER

synopsis: summer is what you’ve always looked forward to. not just because there’s no school, but also because you’ll be seeing your brother’s bestfriend and also the love of your life, park jongseong.

pairings: jay park x reader

word count: 12k.

warnings: angst, kissing, party, alcohol mentioned, suggestive. please take note that oc is at legal age already when this happened, no intention of grooming or anything.

note📎: i got totally carried away writing this. i just love cruel summer x jay concept. he fits so much? i hope you like this because i enjoyed writing this. your reply and reblog means a lot and my ask are open for you thoughts. thank you and stay safe.

“Will Heeseung oppa come home this summer, Mom?” your eyes are hopeful as you wait for her response. Both of you are at the kitchen, cleaning up. Dinner just finished and you are here trying to give her a hand.

“Of course.” as she continues to place the clean dishes over the drawers.

She glanced at you, no suspicion can be seen over her eyes. Of course, you are always been very close to your brother so having you asking for this kind of question is not a surprise to anyone anymore. You are indeed curious if your brother will come home. You missed him and all, but what’s excites you more is his best friend that always comes here with him.

Park Jongseong, everyone calls him Jay. He’s very handsome, cool and well mannered guy. Your parents has always been very fond of him ever since they moved in town back when he’s in sixth grade. He became friends with your brother and they became very close to the point that your house became his second home. Your parents offered him to come here every summer since most of his family lives in america now and he doesn’t have anyone around. They feel bad for him if he spends his summer alone in their big house. It has been their routine ever since freshmen year and they’re at their third year of college now.

Now, Jay is not just handsome, he’s also very smart and extremely hot. There’s just something in him that makes your stomach wrenches and sometimes presses air out of your lungs whenever he’s around. You admit that you have a small—okay a huge crush over him. But you’re afraid that he just sees you as his little sister because he basically saw you grew up. He’s two years older than you.

You can’t exactly remember when you started to develop this feelings for him, maybe when your stares lasts longer than before. Or when he started to greet you using his low voice, leaning down so he can whisper it a bit near your ears. This changes occurred last summer. Nothing happens more than just teasing stares, his sexy smirks whenever you’re around and his occasionally soft skinship with you.

It wasn’t anything creepy. Honestly, it makes your heart jolt from time to time. You can feel excitement runs through your veins whenever he’s around. This summer, you’re more than thrilled for them to come home. You don’t know what’s going to happen or will there ever be. Afterall you just turned 18 last week. And they said a lot of exciting things starts to happen after becoming at legal age.

“Is Jay oppa coming?” you act normally, to prevent catching suspicion from your Mom. She seems to bite the trap and just nodded her head, it was obvious that she’s excited to see her two ‘sons’ this summer. That's how he calls them.

“I can’t wait for tomorrow! Do you think they will go to the lake this summer again, Mom? I want to go too!” you can’t contain your excitement just by thinking about it.

She glances at you with a smile while drying her hands over a clean cloth, “Oh, I’m sure they have a lot of other things to do this summer sweetheart.”

You pouted and tilt your head over to the side a bit, confused. “And what is it?”

“Like parties and catch up with their friends. You know how those two are too popular to be forgotten by their highschool mates.” she chuckles that made you giggle as well.

Your eyes trailed over to your hands as you play with your fingers, “Well, I guess you’re right. But do you think oppa will agree to take me with them? In parties?” voice hopeful and just by thinking about it makes your whole system jumping in excitement.

She looks at you and stared for a while before smiling, “Maybe, darling? I mean you are at the age where you’ll want to explore the world, am I right?”

You smiled brightly after having a positive answer from your Mom. You nodded your head continuously, “Right, Mom! I’m 18 now anyway.”

It was the last day of school and you are very impatient for it to finish. You’re very sure the other students feels the same way as you because school ending only means its summer already. And summer means your brother will come home with his best friend, Park Jongseong.

Your mind was filled with nothing but him throughout the whole class. Its fascinating how you never get sick of it and how you think of how much fun you guys will have this summer. Its super thrilling this time because you’re at legal age already, meaning your brother may take you with them more often than before.

It took everything in you to stop yourself from squealing in happiness once the last class was dismissed. It was stretched out by some reminders of your teacher to make sure you clear out the lockers and so on. You are too occupied to even give a care about it, busy stuffing your things inside your bag so you can be ready to go.

“We're planning to go out of town this summer break, Y/n! How about you?” your head snapped over to your group of friends the moment you heard one of them talked to you. As you look at them, all eyes were at you, waiting for your response. They looked hopeful, since you always go with them whenever you guys have hang-outs.

You flash them an apologetic smile, “Sorry guys! My brother is coming home this summer break from his college university so I’ll spend it with him.” and because Park Jongseong is coming with him. You wanted to add that, but you refrain yourself from doing so.

Some of your friends pouts in disappointment, some even have their shoulders hang low. They forgot about your yearly routine of spending your summer with your brother. Well, they couldn’t blame you because he does go to a far school and will be a sucker if you didn’t spend time with him while he’s here.

You bid good-bye to your friends right away so you can leave and go home. The bus stop was filled with students waiting for their bus. Impatiently waiting for your ride home, you fished your phone and checked if there’s any messages your brother left you. The last message he sent wss that they already left their dorms and on their way back to your town.

Upon arriving home, you walked in with your Mom busy fixing the guess room where Jay usually stays. The room across the hall was where he sleeps during the summer. She turns her head after hearing your steps and smiled widely at you.

“Hi Mom,” you greets and stood by the door just to see how the room looks.

“Hey sweetheart. Go change clothes and go down so you can help me with dinner.” she instructs that made you pout a bit.

“But I have to prepare for oppa’s arrival.”

She chuckles finding it cute how you’re preparing for your brother. She was totally clueless that it was for his bestfriend. Your pout remains with your pleading eyes for her, but she didn’t let it pass.

“It’ll only take you an hour. Plenty of time to fix yourself tho I don’t understand why you have to bother for it. It’s just your brother and Jay, its not like he took some friends with him, Y/n.” and she continues tidying the pillowcase.

Exactly. He’s coming home with Jay.

“Still, I want to look presentable.” you tried hard not to sound too suspicious about it.

She doesn’t seem to wonder and just asked you to change so you two can start already. You groaned lightly but follows what she said. Changing into a more comfortable clothes, you stride down the stairs afterwards ready to help your Mom. She was already in the kitchen, wearing her aprons.

You walked closer and helped her. The two of you started preparing the dinner. Your Dad arrived minutes after and he just asks if the two boys are home already. He went to his office after hearing that they aren’t home yet, leaving the two of you to focus on cooking.

“Done!” you let out a sigh after fixing the tables and stare at it with satisfaction.

“Great, thanks for helping me darling.”

You smiled at your Mom before telling her that you’ll go upstairs to prepare. Thankfully, she lets go of you and just went back on finishing the food.

It’s not like you will dress up too much. You want to look presentable, but not to the point that your brother will be suspicious. He’s very quick witted so you need to be extra careful. He never mentioned that you aren’t allowed to like boys, but you have no exact idea how he will react if he knew you’ve been liking his best friend for years already.

Almost finished, a knock errupted from your door. “Y/n, your brother and Jay is almost here. Go down afterwards, all right?” she reminded that you answered with a quick ‘Okay!’

You leaned closer the mirror and checked your reflection, making sure to look keenly at every details. You looked okay, but you wanted to look pretty.

“Y/n! Your brother’s here!” your mom shouted. Your eyes grew and your heart raced rapidly just by hearing her say those words.

“Oppa!” you greeted happily and ran towards your brother. He chuckles and return your hug. You are excited to see him, but what excites you more is the person he came along with.

“Hey angel.” a low husky voice said from behind you. Heart starts racing, shivers running through your spine and you felt so thrilled.

Slowly, you turned to face him and you are lost of words. There, Park Jongseong looks so handsome. His hair a bit longer than how it looks the last time you saw him. He smirks and one of his arms opened before he tilts his head.

“No hug for me?”

Your brother is now busy talking to your Mom and Dad. His smirks grew wider when you walks closer to wrap your arms over his waist. His lips slightly grazed over your forehead and you moved away seconds after the hug. You can feel your heart racing so fast, you’re afraid that it will burst out any minute now.

You glanced away, face totally flushed as you awkwardly stand just a little far from him. Jay’s eyes follows you silently and his attention diverted to your Mom when she approaches him go greet him. Your Dad also went close to say Hi. They looked so happy seeing him again.

“How’s my favourite sister?” your head snaps towards your brother as he reached your hair then messes it a bit.

Your lips gapped at what he did and quickly swat his hand away, “Oppa! Don’t mess my hair.”

He smiles, finding you cute when you’re annoyed. “Come on, I just missed my baby sis.” he says, tone obviously taunting. It made you flush and tried to roll your eyes, but gave in to his sibling hug. Like you mentioned, your brother and you grew up very close so this is naturally normal.

“I missed you too, oppa. But you’re still so annoying.” you mumbled that he didn’t react much to.

“Enough bickering you two and let’s go eat already.” both of you followed your parents towards the dining area with you standing between the two tall boys.

Having to stand beside Jay was both nerve wrecking and thrilling for you. It’s not like this is the first time, but maybe you just like him that much. Clearly, you are aware of your feelings and now every small actions or interactions you get with him makes you all flustered.

The dinner started, you sitting at your usual spot which is beside your brother and Jay in front of him. Your brother assisted you, putting food on your plate, teasing you from time to time as he continues chatting with your parents about college. Of course, your parents won’t ever make Jay feel left out as they ask him questions too.

“So Jay, we heard from Hee that you two are doing well in the rugby team.” Dad turns with a proud smile and hopeful eyes towards the young guy, looking forward on hearing more about the sport.

“Ah, yes. It was fun playing, although we need to put more effort on catching lessons and missed activities.” he stated in this maturely tone. The way he says it indicates how sure and confident he is that he knows what’s going on in his life and that he’s in full control of it. You find it amusing. Totally amused.

“Oh I can only imagine the girls admiring you boys! Any chance of news about girlfriends this semester?” this time, it was your Mom’s turn to get into the conversation.

The smile on your face faded as the question was a big deal for you. The two of them were pretty popular in your town because of their looks and so much more, it won’t be much of a surprise if they gain attention in their university.

“I’m too focus on my studies, Mom. I think girls can wait. I mean if the right girl comes, then okay. If not, its totally fine too.” your brother said and took more bite over his food.

Your brother was always the playful and flirty type ever since. He may seem to be a very out-going person, but behind all these he takes school seriously. He have firm goals in life that he’s sure to achieve no matter what. His motivation and dedication in everything he does is amazing. He’s such a chic magnet, but also knows his priorities.

“That’s great, Hee.” your Dad couldn’t hold his smile, looking at your brother proud.

“But Jay here,” your brother started and smirked at his friend that now shakes his head lightly before smirking as well, glancing down his plate.

“He sure does have a reputation of making girls cry. He’s...” he stalled his words and gave out a bit exaggerated sigh, “..crazy.”

You couldn’t hide the expression on your face while you listen silently. Your eyes looked at Jay who's trying to stop your brother from ‘exposing’ him to your parents. He doesn’t seem too fazed about it and take it as a joke. Your parents and your brother seems like the same. You frown lightly and turned your eyes down your plate, started to play with your food while your mind flew far away.

“I mean Jay is very handsome and charming so I don’t doubt girls will fall for him all the time.” your Mom says and you agreed silently. You are clearly aware of how good looking Jay was! You’ve been talking about it nonstop since the beginning.

“Yeah, and a heartbreaker.” your brother jokingly insinuate that earned laughs from your parents and a subtle ‘Stop it dude.’ from Jay.

“How about you, baby sis?” your hand stopped moving as you unconsciously craned your neck to look at them. Suddenly, their attention were at you.

Pretty occupied about the sudden news of Jay breaking hearts there and there, you spaced out so the question slipped off from you. “W-What?” you asked clueless.

“Any boys that I need to watch for while I’m here for the summer?” he asks, eyebrow raising strictly at you.

Four pair of eyes looks at you and your Mom was the only one giving you innocent eyes. The other three were like predators waiting for their prey to say something wrong for them to attack. You gulped, anxious and pouted, glaring over your brother.

“N-No. What are you talking about, o-oppa?” the whole situation felt a bit awkward and flustering for you.

“Hee, cut your little sister some slack. She’s very pretty and its just normal for boys to like her and for her to like boys.” your Mom tries to meddle.

Heeseung rolls his eyes in a snobby way, “I know that she’s pretty, Mom. That’s why I will watch these suitors without blinking this summer.”

You kept your pout as your parents shrugs and laughs it off. Its not something new, your brother’s always been the protective type.

“Let her be, Hee. During these age is when they normally get boyfriends.” Mom seemed to be smiling widely at the thought of a summer romance for you.

Your brother scoffed, “Why? Do you like someone already? Perhaps a schoolmate?" his question sounded like a trap.

“N-No. I don’t like someone from school.” and as you glance away from him, your eyes caught Jay’s. It was just a brief eye contact, but sure does make your heart raced like crazy.

The dinner went on and thankfully the topic diverted about something else. All in all, you had a pretty much good time. You missed your brother’s annoying ass and enjoyed chasing glances towards Jay, eye contacting with him from time to time.

Having your brother and Jay back in town only means parties will be thrown and held continuously. Of course, they won’t miss a chance of catching up and getting to meet again after a while. Their batchmated organizing and planning gatherings up was just foreseen. That also means their group of friends, which consists of unbelievably and insanely attractive guys, will gather up and party.

Parties with super popular and attractive guys just indicates that a lot of girls will be there to see them. There is no way you will let it pass. You wanted to come with them. Try to experience how their life plays through, have a taste of Jay’s usual crowd.

“What time later, dude?” your brother asks while you all kill time by the living room, watching random tv shows.

“7 pm,” Jay lifts his eyes from his phone he’s been busy for the past two hours, constantly texing someone. You have no idea who it is, but its annoying. “Jake said he’ll meet us there with Hoon." he continues and eyes caught you staring while trying to shove another popcorn over your mouth.

You instantly flushed and stared away failing to notice how Jay’s eyes falls over your lips, busy chewing the newly popcorn inside.

“Okay, I'll get ready in a while.”

“Where are you guys going? I want to come!” excitement rulled over your tone as you flash this wide big smile to Heeseung.

His brows furrowed, a little confused. “What do you mean, you’ll come? No way.” He rejects your suggestion of joining them for tonight.

You showed disbelief and quickly protests, “Why not?!”

“It will be crazy there. I'll drink so much and I’m not sure if I can look after you.”

“I'm 18, oppa. You don’t have to look after me like I'm five.” you reminded him, just incase your brother forgot the fact that you are not a kid anymore.

Just in time, your mother walks in with grocery by her arm. Jay stood up right away seeing her and offered help that result her for smiling sweetly at him.

“Mom! Please tell oppa to let me go with them.” her eyes diverted at you with confusion.

“Where?”

“A party.” you said shortly. Her eyes then moved towards your brother.

“Take your sister with you, Hee. What time will you guys go? Are you staying for dinner?” she says continuously that made you smile widely.

“What? Mom, its a party filled with drunk teen agers and I’ll probably be super wasted and can’t look after her properly.” he tries to still argue.

“It will be fine, Hee. Its not like y/n is five or something.” her calm voice slightly reflects yours.

You grin widely at him, like a smile of victory. “See? That’s what I told him, Mom.”

Heeseung rolls his eyes and threw his head back out of defeat. Jay can only watch on silence and enjoy how you tease your brother for it.

“Fine. But once something I don’t like happen, you are going home.”

You wanted to complain and argue more, but in the end you just nodded your head. Bad things won’t happen anyway, its not like it will occur on fun events like it. You are just so happy you get to be with them in a party. You wanted so bad to see more of Jay.

After getting ready for the party, you went downstairs to see the two tall guys waiting patiently for you. Their eyes darted at your direction right away, one have blank expression the other turned a little dark out of confusion.

“Your dress is too short. Won’t you get cold?” your brother asks as he stood up to meet you halfway.

You snorted, trying to hide your nervousness and your shyness because you can still feel Jay's eyes looking at you. His heated gaze didn’t left you and was just silently watching. It made butterflies go crazy inside your stomach you couldn’t even focus at your pissed off brother.

“Don’t they normally wear this at parties?”

In the end, of course your brother couldn’t do anything about it as well. He just had to let it slide and take you to that party. He walks first, you followed and Jay’s a couple steps behind you. Not too near, but also not too far, yet his presence was enough to make your knees weak. The way his hair was brush-up, showing off that perfect forehead. His outfit looks amazing too. Now you can definitely imagine him being a playboy, going around their campus grounds breaking girls hearts.

“Have fun, kids!” you even heard your Mom shouted while you wave at her.

“Hop in.” your brother says and opened the car door for you.

Your eyes looked over to Jay and he’s on his way towards his own vehicle. Heeseung noticed where you’re looking so you teared your gaze away, fearing he will catch on right away.

“He’ll take his own car because we’re not sure if he will go home with us anyway.” he said meaningfully before he closes the door and walks towards the driver’s car.

Your chest tightens and hurt by just thinking of what he will possibly be doing if he won’t go home with you later. You aren’t that innocent, you are well aware of things and honestly jealousy pricking your heart just by the thought of it.

The drive was short, Jay’s already parked and talking to someone you aren’t familiar with. Heeseung parked right beside Jay’s and goes outside to help you get down.

“You good?” he asks and you nodded with a smile. You two walked towards Jay and they both turned their heads.

“Lee Heeseung!” the man beside him greeted your brother, “Nice to see you again dude!” he seemed very pleased to meet your brother again.

Jay walks towards you that made you hitch your breath, your eyes follows him consciously. “Fix your dress, angel.” he whispers that sent shivers through your spine.

He looked so serious and it intimidated you right away. You gulped and quickly obliged. He stood right behind you, waving and greeting some acquaintances that passes by.

“Good girl.” he smirks dangerously at you. “That’s my angel.” your body shivers at his low husky voice. You almost lose your mind.

“Who is she?” your attention darted at the guy in front your brother.

His smile faltered and swat the chest of his friend playfully, Heeseng covering you from his sight protectively.

“Stay away, dude. That’s my sister.”

He gasps, “That’s your sister already?” he sounded so amused.

Your brother shut any possible question about you then just insisted that all of you goes inside now. It was already loud from outside and its deafening inside. You’ve seen parties from movies and all, but it sure is different when you’re experiencing it firsthand. The flickering lights makes you a little dizzy and confused how people manage to know who's who.

If you’re overwhelmed, Jay and Heeseung are completely different. They are so chill about it like this kind of places are totally normal for them. People recognized and greets them right away, some eyes settles over you after greeting your brother and they will wonder who are you. Then their eyes will move towards the other tall guy behind you, and their eyes will light up excitedly.

You are in between them, your brother holding your wrist to keep you from getting lost. Some of the guys' looks stays at you, finding you pretty. It didn’t slip off from Jay and the next thing you know, his hand sneakily settled over your waist caughting you off-guard. You aren’t still over it when he did his next move, leaning so close to you, his hot breath fanning your neck.

“Don’t talk and accept drinks from anyone, okay? Stay close to your brother, angel.” he then moved away, your head following him wanting more closeness.

He waved and greeted friends as your brother continues to pull you somewhere. Jay stood there, interacting with people. His smirks looked dangerous and the way he talks with girls are obviously giving you the impression that he’s the real master of this game.

“Stay close or I’m dragging you back home.” your brother warned you and sat you down the sofa. You pout while your brother hands you down a pillow to cover your legs.

“Can’t I at least have something to drink?” you asked him with a hint of sarcasm. He can’t be serious about not giving you any drinks tonight. Gladly, he did gave you some.

Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves except from you. The lights are making you dizzy, the liquor tastes so bad, your brother flirting with a girl but kept eyeing you like some babysitter, people making out left and right and most important thing, Jay’s nowhere to be found.

After sitting there for nearly 40 minutes acting like a spoiled brat taken to a random place, you stood up and approached your brother. His eyes shifted at you right away, leaning down to hear you clearly. All of his attention at you.

“I’ll just look around for some friends. It’s boring just sitting around, oppa.” you tried to complain at him. He looked hesitant at first to let you go, but thankfully he did.

He reminded you not to accept any drinks from other people and to go back here if something happened. You assured that you’ll be alright and started roaming this big house. Its filled of kids your town, most of them are upper batch—same class with your brother— and some are your age. Some group of boys follows you with their eyes, admiring you while you’re busy searching the room with a familiar face.

“Y/n!” your head craned at the sound of your name and face brightens when you saw one of your friend.

“Fia! Omg I’m so glad to see you here.” she walks closer to you as you exclaimed that. She chuckles and greets you with a warm hug.

“I can’t believe you are here!” she says as she pulls away from the hug.

“My brother took me with him.”

Her eyes immediately searched for your brother and it made you smirk, “Where? Where’s your handsome brother?”

You snorted and playfully pushed her shoulder lightly. “Can you at least pretend that you’re not a simp for him?” she clings her arm as she laugh.

“How can I not drool over Lee Heeseung? He’s like super hot.” she gave this dreamy expression that made you roll your eyes.

“Then that explains why I saw Jay with that girl a while ago.” she mumbles and even side eyed you to check your reaction.

Your looked at her, “What? What girl? Where?” you asked him multiple questions that made her chuckle. She knew your long time crush with your brother’s bestfriend so she finds you cute.

“Back in the kitchen. They’re like almost eating each other’s faces— hey where are you going?” she furrowed her brows as you didn’t even let her finish and went to go look for Jay.

Since the whole house is crowded, it wasn’t that easy to find the kitchen, pretty much Jay. Arriving to what it seems to be the dining area, your eyes scanned the whole room to see him. Several eyes settles on you, but you completely ignore them.

Your step halted at the sight of Jay smirking flirtatiously towards to a girl, take note that its not the same one from a while ago after your arrival. They seem too hooked to what they were talking about while the girl runs her hand over his biceps. Jay’s large hands rests comfortably at her waist, thumb caressing them.

It suddenly reminded you of the incident a while ago where he held you by the waist. It made butterflies go crazy in your stomach and at the same time stab a knife straight to your heart.

How come one person is capable to make you feel so many emotions at the same time? At this point, you find it amusing how much he affects you.

The scene seeing him holding her like that was painful for you, but as he leans in and locks their lips together like hungry horny teens made your heart crack. This isn’t the very first time you saw someone make outs. This isn’t new to you at all. What’s new is that Park Jongseong, your brother’s bestfriend a.k.a your long time crush is kissing some other girl in front of you.

Your night was a blur after that. You left the kitchen even before someone notice you watching them eat each other’s faces and thought of you as a creep or something. After an hour or two, your brother came searching for you and saw you by the balcony.

“Hey,” he greets and examined you with his eyes. His hand reaches over your face and brush away some hairs from it, hanging strands over your ears. “let’s go home. It's pretty late.” he suggested that you agreed on right away. A lot happened and you don’t exactly know what to say or react.

“Hey, you okay?” he asks halting you from stepping further.

You glanced at his worried eyes and realized you’ve been very obvious with your emotions. A smile makes it over your lips as you slid your arms over his.

“I’m fine.” but it wasn’t true. You just witnessed the man you like kissing somebody else how can you be okay?

His stares remained, not totally convinced about your lie. “I’m just tired, oppa.” you added.

Good thing he seemed to buy that excuse and let it slip before he guides you outside so you two can go home. He held your arm so he won’t lose you in this pool of drunk people.

“Wait, where’s Jay oppa? How about him?” you asks trying to roam your eyes around to go find him.

He opened his car and snickers a laugh, “Don’t worry about him. I’m sure he won’t be going home to us tonight.” and your mind was blank as you went inside and sat over the passenger seat.

You didn’t even realized that he went inside and started driving already. First time trying to get a taste of Jay’s life. Hearing about his reputation of being a campus playboy is one story, then seeing it first hand is a different one.

“What else?” your brother asks while lazily pushing the grocery cart, following behind you.

“We need to go to the meat section.” and your eyes scanned the paper to see more of what you need.

“Okay, you and Jay stay here while I go get the meat.” your brother suddenly announced that made you stunned to your position.

You freezed right at the spot and took a quick glance at Jay who took the hold over the cart. When he was about to look at you, you turned your head back at the shelves and try to busy yourself with these canned goods.

You gulped when you felt him push the cart closer.

“So how was the party the other day?” he asked curiously.

It has been a week ever since the first party you’ve been with them and also the first time you’ve witnessed how heck of a playboy he is. The second party happened the other day, you went with them hoping you can have more interaction with Jay. Interesting thing is Jay got a new girl that party, the last one were nowhere near him.

You cleared your throat and glanced at his direction. He was leaning over the cart, watching you with his dangerous eyes. A smirk plays his lips when you met his gaze.

“It w-was fine.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

‘No.’ you want to tell him, but you sighed and put the canned over the car.

“Yeah, its cool.” it was half true, half lie.

“Hmm,” he hummed and pushed the cart closer. “I saw a lot of guys enjoyed it too while trying to catch your attention.” his tone sounded a bit pissed, followed it with a scoff.

You furrowed your brows at what he said, not getting it completely. “What do you mean?”

Even if you can feel your insides going crazy, you tried maintaining an eye contact. He slowly stood straight, your height difference becoming more evident. He’s now staring down at you, eyes looking arrogant and sexy, his smirk not been wiped off his face.

“Oh, baby...” he whispers and one hand reaches over your face. He touched your cheeks gently. “...boys around you go crazy for your attention and yet they can’t get it. I wonder where it is.” his tone is taunting this time.

You pursed your lips and didn’t look away, cheeks blushing, heart racing your smiled at him.

“Yeah, I wonder where it is?” you taunt him back that made his smirk grew wider.

The eye contact last for a bit more until you saw your brother from the corner. You moved your face away and started walking over. You heard them both talk for a while before following behind you.

The next day, there’s another party. Of course you wanted to go and this time you are determined to go approach Jay. Looking on the mirror, your reflection shows off your pretty features you put yourself into determination that the night will not without you and Jay having the moment you’ve been looking forward to.

“Same rules, baby sis. No drinks from a stranger, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs and go find me if something happened.” Heeseung repeats this like a chant. You rolled your eyes and nodded to end it.

Jay stood close to the two of you, smirking tauntly. “You can also look for me if there’s a problem, baby.”

The sudden endearment made your heart race, but to your brother it was nothing. He calls you baby sis all the time so he thought it wasn’t a big of a deal. Besides, its Jay.

“Yeah, go for Jay if he’s not busy eating some girl's face.” he snorted and Jay was quick to swat his arm with a smirk on his face.

You shake your head and walked pass them both. They followed right after, greeting friends and acquaintances along the way. The party was wild wild as you arrive, its like they’ve started ahead of you so there’s couple of people stumbling down already.

You have a plan tonight, but seems like the boys that find you interesting has the same thought. Your brother managed to give you drinks and you only get refills from one of his friends, Jake. He’s a nice popular guy, very handsome, rich and have this golden retriever vibe around him. Anyway, while you’re nearly finish your fifth cup you are drunk.

Thinking you might need some confidence that the boost will definitely provide, you thought that you should drink more. You miscalculated and eventually got a little too drunk from how you planned to.

You started looking for Jay to execute your plan. Hopefully he’s nowhere near your brother so there won’t be a problem. When you arrive by the last room of the house, you're about to make a u-turn and try looking around again when you heard faint noises from that room.

“Jay.” a faint sound, which appeared like moans of a girl continuously caught your attention.

Your body freezes and steps halted from the initial plan of leaving this hallway. Its a little isolate than the other parts of the house since the music is faint here, you can’t really enjoy dancing or anything if you stay here. Mostly, this could be an ideal place for people who wants to do something else.

Slowly, you walked towards the room and pushed the door lightly. And you almost lost it. There he is. Top of and above him was this topless girl. They’re too immersed with each other that they didn’t even notice your presence. They continued making out, roaming their hands over to their bodies like their life depends on it.

You are dizzy, very drunk and emotions are all of over the place. There is no way you can deal with this situation right now. You couldn’t believe the suffocating feeling you have right now as you try to walk away from that awful place. Memories of Jay having a topless girl above him not leaving your mind at all.

Stumbling over your own feet, one guy caught you. He’s smirking and finding you cute while you mumble an incoherent word, probably ‘sorry’ or something.

Seeing his face you realized its someone from your rival school. As far as you remember, he’s the captain of the football team, if not then basketball, of their campus. Popular guy.

“Sorry 'bout that,” you chuckles despite the tears rolling down and was about to walk away when he hold you firm close to him. He seems also too lost with the liquor that he couldn't contain his actions.

“Lee y/n,” he started with this smirk. “I've been trying to score a date with you, but you’re very snob. Why? Why will you reject..” he stalls and gulped, “..someone like me?” he continues.

You couldn’t process anything and starting to feel annoyed that he’s delaying you when you want to leave this place immediately. His hold tightens at the unpleasant expression over your face. Its like he can’t accept that you will reject him when every other girls drop to their knees for him.

“Let go of me!" you tried wriggling to get away from his grip, but he was too strong.

He started to be more aggressive towards you, “No! Let’s talk! Why do you look at me with blank face every time you reject me? Why do I seem too worthless for you?” he screams, and it startled you.

You sighed and was about to say something when somebody threw a punch over to this guy. He lets go of you and was down over the floor.

“You okay? What did he do?” your brother’s face came into your view. He’s the one who came rushing and punched that guy away from you.

The party stopped and a lot of people gathers around. The drunk guy was still down the floor, but his friends are in panic and called the police for assistance.

You are still dizzy and out of it, but you are worried for your brother. He’s clearly involve and you are the reason of it. As the police arrive, he asked him to stay for a couple of things he wants to ask him.

He nodded, not really trying to make it more complicated. He turns his head over you with soft gaze and cup your face.

“I’ll call Mom to pick you—”

“I can take her home.” a voice interrupts and your brother’s face reflects relief after hearing his voice.

“Great. Please take care of her, dude. I need to settle things here, ask for Dad as well.” he continues, but you are too drunk to even say or process anything.

Jay took off his jacket and put it over your shoulder, gently tugs you closer to him then guides you towards where he parked his car. A lot of commotion are happening, but the alcohol in you took away any possible consciousness of you to be aware of it.

The next thing you know, he’s already driving and you groaned because of the terrible headaches occuring due to being dizzy. He glanced at you and sighs before stopping by the side where he saw this one vending machine. He knew he needed to give you some water to help with the bad effects of alcohol.

“Angel,” he calls softly after opening the passenger seat and leaning down to your face level. You slowly opens your eyes and greeted by his handsome face. “Can you walk?” he asks after, brushing away some hairstrands.

You inhaled, “I'm n-not sure.” you admits.

He smiles a little, chuckled sexily before nodding gently. “Okay. I got you.”

As he busy himself taking off your seatbelts, you got the chance to look and observe him. He’s wearing a black shirt that shows his fit body, not too tight but also not too big for him, just the perfect size. A gold necklace dangling freely was the next you notice, adding to his appeal. His perfectly arched jaw clenched as he put his attention over you.

“I’ll carry you. Is that all right, baby?" his tone sounded soft. Too soft that it came out subtle.

You nodded and he quickly slid one arm under your legs, the other over your back to carry you in a bridal style. In normal days, you would’ve panicked and blush like crazy, but the liqour is shitting you and the constant memories of a naked girl hovering him kept flashing back through your mind like a broken dvd.

“Stay put. I’ll just get you water to make you feel better.” he says and you followed him while sitting down at a bench where he put you.

You silently watch him and see him glow through the lights of the vending machine as he hangs his head low to go get the water. He walks closer and handed you the bottle after opening it for you.

A low thank you escapes your mouth and drinks from it while eyes still darted at him. He smiles and crouched down in front of you, just so he can get a full and better view of your face. To make sure you are okay.

“Better?”

You nods even if you don’t know if it really did something. Now, you aren’t sure if you its because of the alcohol or you really just gains the confident, but you frowned at him.

“Aren’t your girl upset you left her?”

Jay’s brows furrowed. He looked confused.

“What girl?”

“The one naked hovering above you a while ago.” you said straightly.

He looks taken aback then lips pursed trying to suppress a smirk to form from his sinful lips. “That’s not something you should have seen. I’m sorry, baby.” he didn’t sound ashamed or what, who would be? He’s probably proud of his own body so you seeing him topless and naked girl topping him was no problem.

“Next time—” he reaches out his hand to brush away some of your hair, but you swat his hand.

“Stop that.” he tilts his head, confused.

“Stop treating me like a kid. I’m not a kid anymore. I know what you’re about to do with that girl, I know that you will have sex with her!” you continuously said.

Jay didn’t seem fazed about your words nor mad about it. He sighs calmly and stared down at your water. “You’re drunk. Have some more water—”

“I d-don’t want to.” your eyes started to water and you sniffed, Jay’s eyes soften heart completely broken at the sight.

“Baby, why—”

“Don’t call me that!” you burst out, upset. “My brother always calls me that and I feel like you’re doing that because you treat me like your little sister.”

He licked his lips, “Isn’t that a good thing?”

“No! I’m not your little sister and I will never be!” you sounded so upset and a tear left your eye.

Jay sighs, staring at you with soft gaze. “I know.” he gently wiped off the tears over your cheeks. “I know that fucking well, angel.” his tone low.

It was silent for a while before he sighs and stood up.

“Let's go, I’ll drive you home.” he announced and your heart sank.

This is the first intense conversation you ever had with Jay and with the alcohol still in your system, you know you can’t just be stopped.

“I like you.” you said without faltering or stuttering.

Jay’s eyes remains at you, his future actions of carrying you halted because of your sudden confession. Something flickered through his eyes, but it was too quick for you to catchh on.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” you asked when he started carrying you back to his car, silent.

He placed you gently and put your seatbelt on to make sure you are safe. His eyes dangerously darted at you that sends thousands of volts over you. The way he looks at you was different. You couldn’t explain and you don’t know what exactly it was, but something changed.

“I know.” he whispered that caught you off-guard.

“Y-You know?”

“Yes.” he lowered his head and he raised his head up with this evil sexy grin like as if he just confirmed something that made him so happy.

Your heart tightens for unknown reasons.

“Do you think I really wouldn’t have any idea?”

“Then are you purposely doing these things to make me like you even more?” you sounded accusing and pissed.

You just confessed and heard the most unexpected response from the guy you like for years now, who wouldn’t be pissed off?

“What do you mean?” one of his large hands rests over the front side of the cars as he tilts his head, staring at you.

“Like you purposely want me to like you even more!” it was ridiculous, okay. You’ve liked Jay for a long time and honestly even the smallest thing he does fascinates you. You are just a bit disappointed, embarrassed and drunk at this point.

“No,” he says and stood back straight.

“You have no idea how much I hold back, angel.” he says that made you silent for the whole ride home.

He calls your dad and informed about what happened to your brother. As you arrived home, your Mom and Dad were gone. They left to go to your brother and they’re not worried that you will be alone because Jay was there.

“I like you.” you repeats it like as if you didn’t just confessed a while ago.

Jay just opened the passenger seat to help you get inside the house. He furrowed his brows a bit, before smirking.

“You already said that baby.”

“Date me. Let's date.”

For the first time tonight, you saw Jay surprised. He was caught off guard at how bold and bravely you utter those words towards him.

He hides his shock with a chuckle, “I don’t do dates and relationships, Y/n.” his tone firm and he unclasped your seatbelt before looking down at you once again. “Specially if they’re younger and my bestfriend’s sibling.”

Those words went straight to your heart. He was bad. Bad for hurting you, bad for playing at girl’s heart, bad for being this seductive and not caring at all. He’s overall bad news behind these good looking face.

He was about to help you, but you reject him. Lowering your head, you gently pushed him off so you can walk. His hand reaches for you as you stumble on your own feet.

“I can do it! Don’t touch me!” you started waddling towards the house and Jay behind you, making sure you won’t trip and hurt yourself.

That night, you cried yourself to sleep with a small crack on your heart and a throbbing headache.

Days after, you and Jay were totally ignoring each other. It was honestly just you avoiding him. There’s instances that he wanted to talk or start a conversation which you decline quickly. Normally, after a cold and straight rejection you’re suppose to accept then try to move on from it.

But no. You are completely aware that Jay is bad for you. He clearly told you he don’t do dates or relationships, he said he won’t date someone younger and specially his bestfriend’s sibling, and he’s your potential heart breaker. Total bad news. Despite all that, you still want him. You still want to go after him and take another shot. What doesn’t kill you, makes you want him more.

You made another plan. Now you know that the previous approach didn’t work so you needed a new one. You figured that you should take advantage and use that one emotion that flickered through his eyes. That subtle jealousy you saw through his face when your brother talked about how that boy held you close to him. Sounds petty, but still its a plan.

“Well well well,” your head snaps towards the living room when you heard your brother talked.

“Hi,” you greeted innocently, barely sparing Jay a glance as you approach to your brother to give him a kiss on his cheeks.

They planned to stay in today, just watch movies and video games when you suddenly walks downstairs looking so good.

“Where are you going, baby sis?” Heeseung asked curiously, but it seems like he isn’t the only one curious because at the corner of your eyes, you can see Jay looking intensely at you.

“On a date.” you answered then smiled cutely. Heeseung’s brow raised at what you said.

“A date? With who?” he tilts his head, impatient to hear the boy's name that will go out with his baby sister.

“With (random name),” you stated. He’s one of your friends from school and yesterday he asked if you wanted to go watch this cool movie. You agreed and thought that you can use that plan to push Jay into his limits. Actually, you don’t have any idea what to expect from here.

“Where are you guys going?”

You chuckle at your brother’s cute question. “Oppa, you sounded like a strict teacher.” you kid and even before he can say something, a honk can be heard from outside your house.

All of your heads snapped over it and you glanced towards them to bid good bye. Heeseung quickly stood up and follows behind you. He knew he can’t prevent you from going on dates or dating someone, but he can surely mess with them.

“Hi,” (random name) greets you with bright smile, very excited. He leans and gave you a kiss on your cheeks as a greeting. It didn’t slip off from the two pair of hawk like eyes by the door.

His smile slightly fell seeing the two tall guys watching over. He bowed, showing respect to your brother.

“Make sure she gets home before dark.” your brother reminds.

What made you smirk is that pissed off look over Jay’s face. You waved at them and then went off without even glancing back. The date went great, you enjoyed it but your mind couldn’t stop thinking of Jay. Its not like (random name) is your boyfriend now. You're clear at him that this will be a friendly date and he has no problems with it at all.

The next few days became a cycle of going out with your friends and with (random name). You have no idea what’s the process so far, but you plan to test it tonight. There’s a party again at one of your brother’s friend. He asks you if you will come along with them.

“Yes, my friends will be there.” you announced.

“Including (random name)?”

“Yup.”

Jay didn’t like it at all. He don’t know what's up with him. He’s not the type of person who gets jealous easily so he has no idea why he’s so pissed off while seeing you spend time with that dude. He tries to ignore it, convince himself that its totally okay and that he's just protective of you because he genuinely cares. If Hee’s cool with it, he should too right?

But that’s not the case. Tonight, you are pushing his buttons. He watch how you danced too closely with that boy. His hands roaming all over your body that made him clench his jaw angrily. He was silently watching the two of you by the corner taking sips from his drink. Your brother were nowhere to be found and he's been here, watching over you. He didn’t actually asked him to, he does it voluntarily.

He kept muttering in his mind that its okay to be touchy with each other. He’s not new to these things, he’s been 18 before and he knew how it is during this time. He convinced himself that its fine and that he should just leave you alone.

But why did he just find himself settling his drink at the table before heading towards you. He just saw you inch your face closer, lips too close to (random name)'s and he was certain if he didn’t just stepped in you already kissed.

Surprised, he managed to pull you away from him. You glanced at him a little annoyed because of his intrusion.

“What are you doing?”

(random name) looked as confused as you.

“Your brother is looking for you.” Jay lied and didn't even wait for you to react or object. He started dragging you outside of that house.

Realizing you two were headed to where his car was parked you stopped walking making him glanced at you.

“What are you doing? Where is my brother?” you asked furrowed brows and trying to roam your eyes around to go look for your brother, but he’s not here.

Your head snapped back at Jay, “Did you just lie?” you accused him and base on how he’s not denying you, it was true. He lied about your brother looking for you and he doesn’t seem to be fazed about it at all.

“I can't believe you!” you exclaimed, “I’m going back inside.” you announced and turned your heels only to he held back by him again.

“No you’re not.”

“You don’t get to say that!"

“Why do you even want to go back? Is it because of that loser? And what were you doing huh? Are you really going to kiss him?” he lets out sounding so frustrated.

You were caught off-guard of this behavior of his. This is unusual of him. He’s usually very preserved and oozing with confidence. You smile at the back of your mind, thinking that you’re finally getting the reaction you want from him.

You crossed your arm over him.

“Yes and so?”

His eyes grew dark at your response, “What are you doing? What are you up to?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you really dating that boy?” the way he say the word boy was slightly insulting. He’s just years older, but he say it like the two of them are years apart.

“So what?”

“Don’t date him.” he stated.

You raised your eyebrow at him. “Why not?”

He gulped, but his arrogant eyes remain.

“Who do you suggest I date?” you took a step closer to him. “Who should I date, Jay?”

He clenched his jaw and he looked so sexy. When he didn't answer, you rolled your eyes and walked. You plan to go back inside, but once again he stopped you.

His hand hold your wrist. Your eyes dropped over it and his thumb caress your skin gently. You gulped, totally affected by his soft touch.

“Don’t go back inside.” his tone softer too this time. Your eyes trailed over to his and his eyes looked arrogant, but gentle.

“Let’s talk, please?”

Your heart races at the way his tone sounded so convincing. You are not drunk, but it makes you dizzy. You pouted and nodded your head. A small smile escapes his lips before guiding you towards his car. He unlocks it and made you go inside.

“Wait for me here. I’ll just talk to your brother.”

He left after closing the door then went back inside to find his best friend. A couple of people greets him and some girls even tries to flirt, but he’s not interested. After seeing your brother enjoying his night with the same girl he’s been eyeing for weeks now, Jay approached him right away.

“Hey, y/n doesn't feel good.” he lies that made the smile over Heeseung’s face disappear.

“What? Where is she?” his eyes roams, searching for her worriedly.

“I took her to my car. Don’t worry, I’ll drive her home.”

Relief rains over his expression and nodded his head. “I'll see her off first.” and he leans over his girl and whispered something before he accompanied Jay back to his cat where you sat silently.

Your brother knocked over the window and you rolled them down right away, seeing him. Your heart races in confusion to what Jay said.

“Are you okay? Jay said you don’t feel well.” he says and reached his hand to cup your face.

Your eyes darted at Jay and he’s just looking at you straight in the eyes. He’s not telling you to lie, his eyes silently plea that he truly longs for you. And that he don’t care whether you tell your brother the truth or not, either way he will take you away from here.

“Y-Yes. I’m just tired and dizzy, oppa. I think I drank too much.” you felt a small hint of guilt for lying, but you want this as well. You want to talk to Jay and hear what he wants to say. You want him to take you away from here and be with him alone.

“Okay, Jay will take you home and drink water when you arrive.”

You gave a small smile and nodded silently. He sighs and gave your forehead a kiss before telling Jay to drive safely. He nods too and swiftly go to the passenger seat of his car.

“You are such a liar.” you taunt at him while he put his seatbelts on.

He smirks, a little confident your brother won’t see it because his car is heavily tinted.

“Well that's what bad boys do, don’t they?”

Heeseung waits until the car has driven away completely. The drive was silent. You don’t know what to say and you thought you will talk, but he’s not saying anything. Not too far away from home, he slows down his car that made you glance at him confusely.

“Let’s talk here.” he said and you gave him a nod before gulping, heart thumping in anticipation.

He stares right at you for a while before sighing. He reaches over your hand and plays through the fingers, enjoying how warm and soft it feels.

“Date me.” you hitched your breath when you heard that from him.

You wanted to blame the alcohol for a second, asking yourself if you really are not drunk. He might read through your expression so he lifts your hand and kissed the back of it once.

“Date me, y/n. I can’t promise that I will be all good, but I will try.” he repeats. This time, you are sure this isn’t the alcohol.

Park Jongseong really asked you out.

“Please?”

You pursed your lips and a smile made its way on your face. You unclasped your seatbelt and didn’t even bother to hide the excitement and happiness on your expression.

“Of course I will date you!” you cheered and quickly hugged him.

His hand settled over your waist as he smiled, nuzzling at the crook of your neck inhaling your scent. Jay’s heart was beating so fast that it finds it uncomfy. This is the very first time a girl made him feel this way. Its odd, but in a very good way.

You pull away and stared at his handsome face. His eyes hooded and as his eyes trailed down your lips.

“Can I kiss you, angel?” he asked huskily.

You hitched your breath and ears ringed, its like everything out were blocked outside from your world. You don’t care about anything or anyone but the gorgeous guy in front of you.

“Yes.” and he didn’t waste any second. He leans in, pulls you even closer as he gets to taste of your sweet lips for the first time.

“I'm bad, right baby?" he whispers as he plays through my fingers, staring dangerously at you. He let his sinful tongue graze slightly over his lips, before starting to gently pull you closer.

A playful, evil, seductive smirk appears through his handsome face, “And I think I’m becoming worst because I still want you. I want you all for myself.” and he once again leaned towards you for another heated kiss.

He knew then and there that he found something he’s about to lost his mind to and he was all in.

It was the start of your hidden and thrilling relationship with Jay. You two figured your brother won’t react well about it so you both agreed that its better to keep it from him until you felt like its the right time to tell.

At first, it started with just sneaky skinships and stolen glances between each other during meals or movie times. Then the subtle hand touching around his brother escalates into making out secretly inside the bathrooms or his car. He sneaks inside your room as well whenever he has a chance. It was thrilling and the fear of getting caught by your parents or worst, by your brother makes it more intense.

The sounds of your lips kissing and tongue touching softly filled the room. It was night time and everybody else in the house were fast asleep. You are straddling his lap, both of his hands inside your shirt cupping your breasts. You let out a soft whimper when his kisses moved from your lips, to your jaw and down to your neck, sucking on its skin.

You’re both drunk by each other’s touch when a knock pulled you out of trance. With heart beating fast your head craned at the direction of his door. Thankfully Jay didn’t forget to lock his door.

“Dude?” it was your brother.

You panicked and so does Jay. He quickly guided you towards the bathroom and you furrowed your brows. You are about to ask more but he just pulled a towel from the rack, wrapped it over his waist. He took of his top and wet his hair before asking you to stay quiet.

“Stay here, baby.” and he even pecks your already swollen lips.

He walks out and pretends he just got out from shower. You covered your lips and tried hard to hold your laugh because of how messy you two got yourselves into.

“I'll be downstairs once you’re ready to go.” your brother says.

Seems like they will go out in the middle of the night.

“All right.”

“I think y/n is knocked out already. She isn’t answering her door.”

“Probably. Its late anyway.”

“Yeah. Hurry up, dude.” and finally, your brother left the scene.

After making sure he’s not there anymore, you went out with the biggest smile and jumped towards your boyfriend.

“Going out?”

“Yes.” he lets out a strained sigh before letting both of your bodies fall over his bed, yours above his.

“I don't want to go.” he mumbled, face buried over your neck. You smirked enjoying his clingyness.

“You have to, or he’ll start to be suspicious.” you pecked his lips. “See you tomorrow. No girls for you.” you gave him this warning look.

He smirks, “Tomorrow? I’ll see you tonight, angel. I’ll sleep beside you.”

You pursed your lips, blushing at the thought of it. It has been like that for weeks already ever since you two started dating.

“Okay, I'll leave my window open.”

“I’m here.” you smile and put your head outside your window to go check if Jay’s right outside of your house.

Past midnight, he's standing by the side and waving at you. His car parked not too far from your house, headlights off.

Its been almost week ever since he told your parents that he will stay at their mansion for a week because his parents asked him to at least go sleep their for a while. And every night of those days, you two will sneak out to go on night drives, dates around his house, late night swimming by the lake, and other fun things you could ever think off.

You slowly tiptoed and went out from the quiet, dark garden of your house. Jay smiles widely as he reaches for your hand and you both bolts towards his car. He drove away, planning to once again take you by the lake.

He sets up this mat and brings out some snacks incase you felt hungry. You chuckle finding him cute and hugged him.

“I wish this summer never ends.” you mumbled, lips close to his. He smirks, wrapping his arm tighter over your waist.

“Its fine,” he says and grazed a soft quick kiss at your lips. “I will always come back next summer.” he assures you that made you smile.

You just can’t explain how happy your are right now. The emotions you have for him are too much but in a good way. You really mean it when you said you hoped this summer lasts long. This isn’t how you expected it to be, it was even better. Or so you thought.

After spending a couple of hours together by the lake, talking about random things, making out, more talking and more makeouts, he needs to take you home. He parks not too far away again and turned off his headlight.

He turns and faced you with a pout that made you chuckle. You cupped his face and shower his face with kisses.

“I’ll see you again tomorrow.” you assured him and he leaned in chasing your lips for some proper kisses.

“All right, pretty. Let me walk you home.”

And you two walks along the silent street hand in hand, giggling from time to time.

“Isn’t it too late for you to be outside, y/n?”

Both of you jumped when someone talked. Your eyes instantly caught your brother leaning by his car, parked right outside of your house. His face serious, eyes dark and jaw clenching. Your heart thumped at the sight of him. Jay caress your hand, trying to calm you as he stand close to you.

“O-Oppa.” you calls him out, like you couldn’t believe he’s right there.

His strict and intimidating eyes darted at your way. “Get inside, y/n.” he clicked his tongue at the side of his cheeks.

“B-But—”

“Don't make me repeat myself.” he cuts you off. “Inside. Now.”

Your brother rarely gets mad at you and you’re always scared whenever he is. Not because he will hurt you or anything, but because your brother is very intimidating when he’s like this. And also, you are scared of what he will do with Jay.

Your eyes glanced at Jay and he’s not even scared at all. He smiles and touched your cheeks once, “Go ahead, baby. I’ll talk to your brother.”

In the end you are left with no choice but to leave them both. Feets heavily stepping inside the house, silently praying that nothing bad will happen between them. Mixed guilt and worry dawned upon you. This isn’t what you wanted. You knew you are somehow at fault. You should’ve just let your brother know right away, but you stalled and now he found out even before you can inform him yourself. He must’ve felt so betrayed.

You didn’t sleep properly that night, unaware of what happened between the two guys. Hurriedly, you went downstairs to check and your eyes furrowed when you saw your Mom sadly hugging Jay. Your brother standing from a distant, watching. When he caught you, he rolled his eyes.

“Its sad that you have to cut your trip short. Are you sure everything’s all right?” your Mom asked that made you stunned at your position.

Confused, you slowly went closer. Your Mom looked at you and based on her expression, she has no idea of what happened last night. Your head snapped at the two guys, wondering what happened last night.

“Y/n! Just in time,” she says and pulls you closer. “See Jay out since you’re the last one to go down. He needs to go now since something urgent came up.”

Your heart sank at the news and you didn’t believed any of it. You knew it has something to do with your brother finding out about you two sneaking out. Even before you can say something, your brother interrupts.

“Let’s go see him out, y/n.” his voice stone cold and Jay teared his eyes away from you unwillingly before bidding goodbyes to your Mom.

He walks outside and your brother follows along with you.

“What did you say to him, oppa? Did you ask him to leave?” your tone already accusing him.

“Its his decision.” he answered shortly, and it made your heart ache.

“Are you mad at me because I like your best friend?”

His jaw clenched as he stare at your teary eyes. He slowly raised his hand and wiped them off gently.

“No,” he said. “I'm mad because you kept it from me.”

He didn’t talk after that and let you approach Jay by his car. His eyes looked so sad and guilty. You don’t know what to say, because you know you’ll burst out of tears any minute now.

“W-Why...” you can’t continue.

He smiled softly and roam his eyes all over your face, like as if memorizing every features.

“I need to go.” he starts. “I’m sorry, angel.” he sighed heavily.

“I shouldn’t have sneaked you out, I should’ve known better. I’m bad for you. I’m bad news.” you shake your head.

“N-No...” you reach over him, “I love you.” you confessed that caught him off-guard. He smiles sadly, his eyes shining due to tears forming by his eyes.

Last night, Heeseung told Jay that right now he doesn’t trust him for you. He knew how he is with girls and as your older brother, he couldn’t just trust him. You are precious to him and he value you so much. No man can deserve you right away, even his own best friend. He told Jay that if he really cares for you he will go and try to reflect to himself.

Your brother is afraid that maybe he’s just overwhelmed with the thrill and idea. He asked him to go away, try to think and settle his own feelings. He’s pissed that he kept on sneaking you out betraying him completely. He wants Jay to be sure first before he continues to pursue you again. He won’t let him have his way easily. Even if it means you will hate him for sending him away.

He didn’t say anything and approached closer. He whispers continuous sorry before he kissed your forehead, a single tear fell from his eyes. He moved away and turned his back right at you. He didn't glanced back, afraid that he will change his mind and just stay.

You cried silently, accepting and respecting his decision. Your heart aches so much you rest your hand above it. Jay’s car started to drove away and left, your heart left with him.

It is such a cruel summer and as always, Park Jongseong is the highlight of it.

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ennabear · 3 months

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hii !! 🫶🏻 just discovered your account and i love it !! :) i was wondering if you could write some more headcannons about ellie? like, what job would she do? etc. i like to think that if she existed today, she'd probably be an illustrator for children's books !! that'd be so cool, tbh. i can see her making books about space or dinosaurs, and going to book fairs at schools to meet kiddos and talk to them about it. (crossover with professor!abby who used to teach little kids 🫶🏻🫶🏻) aah. sorry for rambling. but like, i just think ellie would have a blast if she existed today. like with all the museums ?? all the new ways to make art ?? but anyway !! what are *your* headcannons for modern ellie !! 🪐🫶🏻

modern!ellie’s job!! (hc) 🦕

thx for the request bae cause this made me smile so big. i have SO many hcs for modern ellie like i’ve been waiting for this moment!!!!! also dw about rambling i love to hear your thoughts 🤗

ok for starters i think ellie would be a nerd in high school. i know that some people headcanon her as a jock or a stoner (and that ellie has a special place in my heart) but i definitely think she’d be the opposite tbh. i imagine her with only a few friends (dina, jesse, cat). and i also think she’d have insanely good grades because she’s just smart like that. and all of her teachers love her because even though she’s quiet, she’s really kind and creative.

also i think her family would be just her and joel and maybe a dog. like imagine her spending her weekends getting guitar lessons from joel and then taking her dog on a walk and documenting it in her journal. she would fr have such a blast!!!!

for college i definitely think she’d major in astronomy/astrophysics or maybe art history?? and in her last years of college, she’d get a job as a secretary for a science museum. honestly, she didn’t hate it, but she was super jealous of the tour guide because she got to take all of the cute little kids on a walk and talk about the fun stuff while ellie had to sit behind a desk all day. but after begging her supervisor enough, she’d get promoted to tour guide after the mean old lady who used to do it retired.

and guess what??? the kiddos loved her!!! she always made sure the kids were having a great time and she knew a lot about what she was talking about, whether it was dinosaurs or planets or volcanoes. and the joke book came everywhere with her!! absolutely nothing made her happier than hearing the little monsters giggling and squealing about a joke that wasn’t even that funny.

abby and ellie would become good friends because of the time abby took her class to the museum on a field trip. they ended up actually really liking each other, especially because they had so much in common. and sometimes after work they’d meet up at a bar and talk about life, it was nice for them to both have a new friend who was equally as nerdy.

ellie would be a tour guide for quite a few years while abby got her doctorate. a few years after abby became a professor, ellie tried out illustrating a childrens book for a local visitor at the museum who was really fond of ellie. it was nothing too big, but she was really proud of it.

after she finished the drawings for the book, she wanted to try writing one of her own. so she decided to write a textbook for kids about dinosaurs with her own illustrations and a joke on every page.

safe to say it was super successful!!! she ended up going to local elementary schools and educating the littles about the different types of dinosaurs and each era they lived in. and you better believe old man joel was so proud!!!! his little girl ellie that he used to take to dinosaur museums was now writing her own dinosaur books!!!

i think eventually she’d quit her job at the museum and focus on being a writer full time, along with keeping art as a hobby. and i can 100% see her getting married and adopting a kid just like joel adopted her, and she’d pass on all of her science knowledge to her mini self. also i think she’d mainly only write science textbooks for kids, but may end up publishing a sci-fi novel or two.

i think that’s all :3 thanks for the ask sweetie pie ilysm 🫶

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#to all the anons who have sent requests i swear i’m not ignoring you on purpose 😭#ellie williams #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x reader #modern!ellie #the last of us

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knifedog-machina · 4 months

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Daemons To Systems, And The Ways They Intertwine

Hey, I’m Max, he/they - I’m the host of our system, the guy who lives in the front and has only ever lived here, the one who identifies our body as my body specifically. A few nights ago, we realized something about our system origins while talking to some other systems, and I’ve honestly never heard of it happening before, so I thought I’d talk about it.

I used to think that I was a singlet before Jude and Gavin walked in. Now I’m pretty sure I wasn’t. See, before I was the host of a system, I was a daemian. I had three daemons, over the course of my time practicing daemonism, interacting with the community. And they were all a little weird.

The first one was Charlie, affectionately longformed as Charlemagne. Xe appeared in January 2018 as a red fox, said that was xir settled form, and never changed from that. That’s an option for daemons - I know other daemons who chose their forms, independent of how well that form represented their daemian, and stayed that way - but it was in contrast to how most people seemed to do it. I never really felt the need to find a form that fit my personality, not when xe was so confident that this was what xe was.

I didn’t try to make xir do anything, I didn’t decide to give xir faux autonomy - xe just did things xirself, with or without my prompting. Xe was playful, optimistic, a cheerful presence always willing to race around and perk me back up. I really needed xir, back then - I was going through a lot of stress in high school, and I needed someone around to remind me of the whimsical little joys in life. Xe fronted sometimes, and I loved when xe did, conjured phantom tail and paws and big fox ears and an unstoppable zest for life.

My next daemon, Martin, appeared in May 2019 after a fever dream. Really. I was sick and tired and miserable, and I didn’t want to do anything, including things that would make me feel better, and a new internal voice appeared in my head. She told me to drink some water and get to sleep. The next morning, she was still there, lounging around as a large black dog, and she stayed.

This became her role, her purpose in our mind, being a shepherd for my needs. She ran our faulty executive functioning, told me to take care of myself when I forgot important things, encouraged me when I failed to meet expectations. She raised her hackles when anyone tried to overstep our boundaries, and advocated for doing what we needed to protect ourselves, regardless of whether it was nice or polite.

Charlie and Martin overlapped in existence for a while. Charlie loved having a big sibling to play with, and Martin was fond of xir. So I had two daemons for a while, and the arrangement was nice. As I transitioned out of high school into college, my circumstances and environment drastically changed. Charlie was sweet, but xe stopped having a function in my life, so over the months, xe popped up less and less, until xe faded away entirely. Xe wasn’t upset to go, and xir memory is a comfort to me - xe served xir purpose, brought me joy, and had a life well lived.

In October 2021, I created a new daemon, compartmentalizing my emotional dysregulation and disordered anxiety into something that was Not Myself, so I could talk to it and understand its needs without being overwhelmed with distress. This became the feral shadow of a dog that we named Cortisol, nicknamed Court - and if Martin was our Freudian superego, who provided guidance for my decisions and stability when I got stressed, Court was our id, feeling all the explosive emotions that I couldn’t externally express and curling up for scritches like a beloved pet when it got what it needed.

We stayed like that for almost a year, getting familiar with the rhythm of life together. Then, in August 2022, my current headmates walked into my brain. My daemons vanished for the duration of their stay.

They only stayed around a few days, that first time - I was moving to a new place and having new people in my brain simultaneously was overloading our mental RAM, so I was forgetting a lot, and I decided that I’d rather live with them some other time. They understood, we said our goodbyes, and they walked out the next morning. (Recounting this to my friend Tanix was hilarious, by the way. “what the fuck (positive)” he said, his own headmates unable to do this. The joys of being a gateway system.) Once the headmates were gone, my daemons returned into my life.

They came back in March 2023, after I settled down into college for a while, and the memory didn’t jam up like it did previously, so we didn’t part ways this time. Martin and Court vanished overnight, again, and looking back on it, I’m noticing some patterns.

Gavin is basically performing the same role that Martin did - he’s the guy reminding us about our responsibilities, talking through the emotions when we feel like garbage, telling me to eat when I forget, or encouraging me to eat when I have enough sensory issues that I can't stomach anything. He consistently fronts when talking to people we don’t especially like, because he feels protective of us and tends to be the most patient with annoyances.

He’s also literally just some guy, just a decent human person who wound up in here because his partner arrived in my brain five minutes before him and understandably got really upset about it, so he followed them in. Somehow. We don't know how it works, but I also don't know exactly where the first two of my daemons came from, so I’m fine leaving it as a mystery.

(He has a lot of complicated feelings about the position he's in, playing a daemon’s role as a completely different person from me, and will probably write his own post about it some time.)

Jude is, unfortunately, kinda in the same role as Court. And since Court held the emotional dysregulation in my brain, Jude also holds the grand majority of the distress and anxiety that we feel on a regular basis. We all really wish it was split more evenly, because Jude tends to not only lose the ability to talk when they panic, they also get stuck in the front, completely unable to talk to me or Gavin.

(It’s not even that they feel the stress that directly affects them, it’s that on top of the stress that we get in our daily life. They regularly had panic attacks over my grades and exams last semester, and they weren’t even the one studying for it at all! It’s fucked up and I don’t love it for us.)

And there are other interesting little coincidences. You know how Court was a sketched-in sort of black dog? Jude only really realized they related to dogs upon arriving in the system with me, and the archetypal form they identify with is, again, a stylized black dog.

It’s really interesting, the ways my brain decided to be plural, because I didn’t think I was a system back then. I had a daemon, then two daemons, and they were daemons because I considered them parts of myself - no matter how autonomous they were, we were bound together in the same identity, as parts of the same person. They were reflections of me, and I loved them like I loved myself, and they loved me with the same ferocity.

With this realization, that my daemons effectively merged into my system, I did have to ask - are my headmates also parts of me, since they’re falling into the same functional compartments in my brain? We don’t think so, or at least, we don’t think it’s that simple.

They’re completely different people from me, people who arrived here with their own lives and memories and identities. They aren’t autonomous reflections of my psyche like my daemons were. They’re my weird roommates who moved in with me, and my boyfriends, and I guess you could say we’re life partners - because hey, what’s a partner if not someone you share a life with? What’s more intimate than sharing the same body, hearing each other's thoughts and feelings? They aren't parts of me, but we live the same life together, and I think that counts as something just as significant.

#max talks #personal essay #alterhuman #daemonism #plurality #gateway system

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bordysbae · 1 year

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Could you do 53 and 54 combined, with Mark Estapa? Please and thank you 💋

“can i be your boyfriend?”

mark estapa x fem!reader

53. yeah i like you dipshit

54. i want you, not them

disclaimer: i’m so sorry this is definitely one of my least favorites i’ve written, but it’s been in my inbox for a few days and i felt like i need to write it sooner than later? i’ve been pretty sick lately so i truly apologize if this is actually dog shit ugh. ALSO!!! emma is a fake character, idek if ethan has cousins LOL

—

you and mark aren’t dating, but everyone can clearly see that you guys like each other, it’s just a matter of time until you both admit it. normally you aren’t one to get jealous, but something clicked tonight when you saw him talking to her.

ethan’s cousin came to visit him at college, and this isn’t the first time she’s been here either. last year when she came to visit for her winter break, which started a week before michigans, she had everyone’s attention. all the guys were swooning over her, but of course she chose mark. at that time you were nothing with mark, just a close friend with all of the guys, so it didn’t bother you. they never ended up working out since mark thought ethan would be pissed, and he didn’t want to do long distance on top of that.

at the beginning of this semester you and mark became very close friends, and you both developed feelings. neither of you wants to admit it, but it’s just sort of a known fact that you’re bound to date. you guys have seen other people, but once you both began hooking up it stayed that way. you haven’t seen anyone else since you guys first hooked up, and neither has he. but now you’re not so sure, since mark seems perfectly content with her obvious flirting.

you begin to chug your drink as she laughs at whatever he said to her. you can’t imagine anything mark estapa said is that funny, so obviously she’s faking it. “you need to relax, he wouldn’t do that to you y/n,” dylan says to you as he takes a sip from his red solo cup.

“dylan you saw how obsessed they were with each other last year, and it doesn’t help that she’s prettier than me! she looks like a fucking instagram model!” you throw your head back as you place the cup to your lips, finishing the last of your drink.

“relax, she’s not prettier than you. she gets botox and her hair color is fake” dylan chuckles.

“oh dylan you’re such a woman, i love you!” you exclaim as you wrap your arms around the boy. he lets out a laugh and scruffs up the top of your hair.

“let’s go get more drinks yeah?”

“oh hell yeah, i need a lot more to be able to watch this shit” you groan, making dylan chuckle. on your way into the kitchen you both run into luke and tj.

“ah my favorite hughes!” you reply, buzzed a little bit. “hi y/n, hey duker!” luke says.

“y/n did you hear em-“ tj begins to say. “shut up tj, yeah i know she’s here. i don’t really care buddy” you roll your eyes and scoff. you excuse yourself from the conversation before you show anymore jealousy.

you cant stand how much the boys talk about her. it’s always “emma this!” “emma that!” like honestly who cares? you assume ethan isn’t very happy with her at the moment either, so you go find him once you refill your drink. you spot him on the stairs looking bored out of mind as he talks to some random girl, so you decide to save him from his misery, “ethan!” you shout to grab his attention. he instantly turns around and excuses himself from the conversation with the girl. “thank fucking god, you’re my lord and savior!” he exclaims, pretending to bow down to you making you laugh.

“why aren’t you with mark? i feel like at every party you’re always under his arm” ethan asks, taking a sip from his drink.

“he’s uh, with your cousin”

“he is? of course” ethan chuckles. although he’d never admit it, ethan isn’t too fond of his cousin. she’s very touchy with all of his teammates and friends, but since she’s family there’s not much he can do about it.

“yeah, they’re over there” you say pointing to the living room full of drunken people vaping and dancing. emma and mark are sat on one of the couches, and that’s when you notice her hand on marks bicep. that throws you overboard, and makes your blood boil.

“oh you’re kidding” you mumble. ethan turns to you and gives you a confused look.

“what’d you say? i cant hear you over the music.” he says leaning down to hear you better.

“ethan flirt with me!” you blurt out, making ethan spit his drink back in his cup.

“pardon?” he asks, thinking he’s maybe had too much alcohol and is beginning to hear things.

“i said flirt with me! i need to make mark jealous”

“you’re gonna get me killed, y/n!” he cries out.

“and whys that? it’s not like me and mark are dating or anything! we’ve been hooking up, i caught feelings which everyone knows about, and now he’s all over your cousin. so i don’t really see why i cant flirt with you!” you shrug

“i cant tell you why but i just cant do that to him!”

“well he hasn’t been a man and told me he likes me, soooo just flirt with me for christ sake! i’ll go find some random guy to flirt with me if you won’t!”

“no no don’t do that, the guys here are sketchy. fine i’ll flirt with you, but if mark kills me you better speak at my fucking funeral”

“attaboy!” you say playfully hitting his chest.

you and ethan begin fake flirting, and it’s only when you lean into his ear to whisper something that drives mark over the edge. you’ve seen him glaring at you both a few times, but now he’s storming over to you guys.

“eddy what the fuck are you doing?” he drunkenly yells at ethan, making ethan’s eyes go wide. “see i told you he’d kill me! get mad at her man not me! y/n explain it to him” ethan proclaims.

“mark can we just go outside” you roll your eyes at him, he nods his head in annoyance and follows you out onto the porch. you sit against the wall and mark sits down next to you. “the fuck was all that? are we nothing to you?” mark says.

“oh you’re fucking funny mark! you’re one to talk! don’t go blaming me for this shit! first of all, we aren’t even dating so i don’t know why you’re so pissed at me! and sec—“ you begin, but mark cuts you off, “well—“

you then interrupt him back, “i’m not done talking shh! as i was saying, second of all, you were all over emma! you didn’t even seem to mind that her hand was on your arm, and that she was laughing at every fucking thing you said! so no mark, this isn’t my fault and dont accuse me of assuming we’re nothing! i like you, dipshit! is that so hard to see?! i’ve liked you for months now! i don’t want you with anyone else, so i wanted to make you jealous! im not used to seeing you with other girls mark, it’s always me under your arm not emma!” you cry out, now standing up pacing the deck.

“i like you too dumbass! i was planning to ask you out on a date and tell you how i felt, maybe even ask you to be my girlfriend, but then stupid emma came back to town and ruined it! i’m sorry i made you feel that way, but it also hurt me seeing you all over my best friend. girls use me to get to ethan sometimes, and i don’t think you’d do that but it just struck a nerve i guess.” he explains, now standing up as well.

“why did you let her be all over you?”

“i don’t really have an answer if i’m being honest. i didn’t even think about it, i’m really sorry. i get it if you’re pissed at me, i would be too.”

“i’m not pissed at all i’m just annoyed. not necessarily at you, just at everyone. they all kiss the ground she walks on and it’s just fucking annoying. i’m sorry for everything mark, i promise im not mad at you” you say, looking up at the 6’2” boy.

mark looks down at you, and cups your cheeks, “i want you, not emma. know that.” he then leans down to kiss you, and you return the act. his hands remain on your cheeks, and your hands find their way to the back of his nec. you both taste like a mixture of alcohols, but you’re both too far in the moment to even notice.

he pulls back for air and smiles down at you and your slightly swollen lips. “so what do you say, will you be my girlfriend? actually no scratch that, can i be your boyfriend?” he smiles cheesily, way too proud of himself for his romcom of a proposal.

“you’re so cringe, but yes i would love for you to be my boyfriend estapa!” you giggle, playing with the hairs at the back of his neck.

#mark estapa x reader #mark estapa blurb #mark estapa imagine #mark estapa #hockey blurb #hockey imagine #umich hockey #michigan hockey #ethan edwards

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cyberdragoninfinity · 5 months

Note

Could I mayhaps ask for your thoughts on each of the Box Legendary Pokemon?

*cracks knuckles* SURE! let's do this

Gold and Silver: I actually don't feel suuuuper too strongly about Ho-oh and Lugia, tbh--though i will say they both have more solid designs than. A Lot of other johto Pokemon imo LMAO. I liked Lugia a lot when I was a kid and that affection has waned a bit as I got older but I do still think it's cool. They both have pretty solid lore as far as Legendaries go, I'm just not particularly attached to 'em...something like a Legends Johto game really has the potential to do something cool with 'em (I feel like with Ho-oh especially) and I do kinda hope we eventually get to see that.

Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald: MY HOMEEEEE Hoenn box Legendary trio sooo near and dear to me...Ruby was my first game Groudon was my first Legendary but I think he's kind of just ok. I like Kyogre a lot more and I Love Rayquaza, definitely a long time favorite Legendary...they're really just a solid trio of Pokemon with some really cool designs and concepts at play, and I like the new lore and forms ORAS gave 'em. Kyogre's Pokemon Pinball boss fight kicks ass to this day and im not kidding.

Diamond, Pearl, Platinum: MY DEAR LATE MIDDLE SCHOOL/EARLY HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS I thinkkkk as a trio I think I might like Dialga, Palkia, and Giratina the best...Legendaries I never tire of seeing. Palkia is one of my all time favs, gazing so lovingly at my giant Palkia plush ive had for some 15 odd years...Giratina is too, honestly, Giratina fucking Rules (though I actually don't like its Origin form very much and never had...I'm an Altered Form Giratina girlie.) They're just all super solid designs and for Dialga and Palkia especially they really feel like perfect embodiments of The Game Theyre the Cover Of. Also I love Origin Form Dialga and Palkia sorry. Theyre my precious ugly as fuck horses.

Black, White, BW2: WELL. THESE MIGHT TRULY BE THE BEST ONES. Zekrom/Reshiram/Kyurem are not my favorite Trio, but together just everything they represent is so cool. One day we WILL see that Original Dragon so HELP ME GOD. I'm more impartial to Zekrom (i played Black and White 2) but it still has such a striking design, I have to say. Reshiram is an especially beautiful Pokemon and definitely one of my favorites. I have. So Many Reshiram cards and plushes HJFDJGDF And well some people don't like Black and White Kyurem for whatever reason, but well i simply have to say they have been making me crazy since high school and the concept of Pokemon Fusion Really in The Game will never not be fucking bonkers slash POS. i LOVE White Kyurem (go figure.) THATS MY FUCKIN FREEEAK

X & Y: i don't. like X & Y very much 🥴 I wish I liked Xerneas more but something about its design is just kind of lacking some 'oomph' ro me. It doesn't feel like a strong poster child for the Fairy type's debut. Despite everything Yveltal does go hard as fucking hell though I still like it a lot. I named the one I caught in Y HELLRAISER back in college and I was shocked they let me name it that.

Sun, Moon, Ultra Sun/Moon: ok nevermind scratch what I said about DPP Sun and Moon have my favorite Legendary Trio for absolute certain. GOD I WISH SUMO/USUM WERE BETTER GAMES!!!!! SOLGALEO LUNALA AND NECROZMA ARE ALL SO FUCKING COOOOL!!!!! DUSK MANE NECROZMA AND DAWN WINGS NECROZMA ARE SO FUCKING COOOL!!!!!!!!! NECROZMA FUCKING EATS THEM FOR POWER. Just in general fantastic designs all around, and it's so cool that Solgaleo and Lunala are Legendaries That Evolve.also i played Moon/UM but I have grown deeply fond of Solgaleo over the last year or so. As if it's my fault he looks like...no, I shant say.

Sword and Shield: I don't like SWSH very much either 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴which is a shame because Zacien and Zamazenta have really cool concepts and designs!! I love their old tattered beat up forms, I love that theyre siblings 🥺I love that the one that isnt Your box legendary goes with Hop, that's so so sweet and so so cool. I just wish SWSH had more of a..........yknow. story. to do anything else of any substance with them. Cool Legendaries in bad games...sad!

Scarlet and Violet: WELL. THESE MAY ALSO BE THE BEST ONES AND I'LL SAY IT WITH MY WHOLE CHEST. god, just. WOW. I like them both a lot but I'm especially fond of Miraidon, to absolute bits. This really feels like the most realized version of a box art Legendary that really truly is a Character in its own right, you get to spend that whole game with your dragon, it well and truly Is Your Friend and it's just fantastic. Theyre endlessly charming and silly and conceptually just so fucking cool. They killed someone. My motorcycle that eats sandwiches. My BUDDY!!! I named my Miraidon Delta Accel :^)

#OK I THINK THATS ALL OF THEM FORGIVE ME FOR MISSING ANY #pokemon chattering #asks #anonymous #im a simple pokemon fan sometimes i see a cool beast on the box art and well I Just Like Them

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metisket · 9 months

Note

book recs request ❤🖤❤🖤 🙏🙏🙏 in this case, book recs that you feel have inspired your writing style, or inspired your fics somehow?

Hmmm...this is a fun one but a tough one, because I'm not sure I'm really self-aware enough to know the true answer here. But I'll try! A lot of books/authors I believe shaped my writing style did it when I was pretty young, so we're getting some YA over here.

Robin McKinley

I must have read The Outlaws of Sherwood a dozen times between ages 10 and 15. I love me a hero who literally doesn't want to be here and got conned into this by pushy, well-meaning friends. Marian was the most badass Marian I'd ever encountered. Random, complicated, weird side-characters, my beloved. Cecily somehow speaking directly to whatever was unhinged about my own childhood feelings about my gender. Flawless, 10/10, should really re-read to see if it holds up.

This is not to minimize the ridiculous number of times I read The Hero and The Crown, The Blue Sword, Beauty, and Deerskin, because I also read them So Many Times that they've probably become a part of my psyche. Literally none of her heroes want to be heroes. But they've been informed that they are. Apparently. Ugh. Love to hate that for them.

Lloyd Alexander

I also re-read The Chronicles of Prydain at least once a year for many years. It has almost certainly messed with my mind. I was especially unhinged about The Castle of Llyr, because Princess Eilonwy. The best, the worst, the angriest princess. Love and respect. Taran I could take or leave, particularly during his Taran Wanderer phase (I was less sympathetic to his growing pains than I was to Eilonwy's), but The High King was a fantastic payoff, loved everything, no notes.

...Damn, I need to reread this series, also.

Lois McMaster Bujold

I didn't read The Vorkosigan Saga until college, but it immediately hit my brain hard. Fantastic characterization. The way she writes trauma and recovery from trauma, amazing.

Miles. What a character. What a mess. What a problem. He is only a little guy, literally and figuratively, and he's going to do his best to convince you that he didn't mean to offend that guy, set that building on fire, or end that empire. You know. Like a liar.

Sarah Rees Brennan

My number one fanfic influence--her style of writing is so delightful that, particularly when writing Harry Potter fic, I'd sometimes find myself paraphrasing her. I had to Sarah Rees Brennan-proof my fic to make sure I wasn't being an accidentally plagiarist, because her turns of phrase would just go subliminal in my brain. This honestly may still be happening, and if it is, I'm so sorry, Sarah, it's not on purpose.

My favorite of her books is In Other Lands, the story of a boy who is whisked away to magic school in magic land and is extremely annoyed to find himself there. Like why. Why is the plumbing medieval. Why don't phones work. Why is this magical Sparta.

...He's not wrong, is the thing. But he won't bend and he won't break and he won't leave, so apparently he's just going to have to fix the world himself. God help everyone! Love him. Love his friends. Love the entire world and setup and every single side character.

Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

I have been informed that you can see the Pratchett and Gaiman influences in my writing. I think this is a lie people have told me to make me feel better, but you know, I Want To Believe. So I'll include them.

Pratchett: Love for virtually the entire Discworld series, with an especially fondness for the Watch books and Susan. Still obsessed with Vetinari after all these years. What if Machiavelli but chill, though.

Gaiman: Lost track of how many times I've reread Sandman. The characters, the coolness, the weirdness, the meta! Especially obsessed with Death. Just someone being very calm and collected in the face of all kinds of horrifying nonsense. I admire that. Love nearly all of his books, but my favorite is probably Anansi Boys. Bet your stupid family drama doesn't involve gods. Or at least. I hope it doesn't.

Erin Morgenstern

I'm cheating by including her, because she didn't actually influence my writing, I just WISH SHE HAD. She can't, sadly, because my outline game will never be that strong. I know my limits. But DAMN. ENVY.

Both of her books are without flaw, but I did love The Night Circus just that little bit more, probably because I am weak to a circus. I firmly recommend The Starless Sea also, though, because it features an Unhinged Library. The characters and settings and descriptions--delightful.

But the best part is the WAY the stories are told. They're not chronological--they're like little intricate puzzle-boxes, where you open one panel, and there's a story, and you open another panel, and there's a different story, and by the fifth panel, there's a story that connected to the first panel, but also a little to the third panel, and--

LOOK, I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE IT. It should be confusing, but it isn't. It's perfect. Just the right amount of information at the perfect time connecting to other pieces of information in a complex, interesting, deeply satisfying way. I would kill to be able to do this. Kill. I actually tried to do this in 'Mirror Image', and I had to give it up, because the level of incoherence was off the charts. ffffffffffff howwwww does she dooooo eeeeeet.

Anyway, I think those are the big ones. Special mentions to: Tom Holt, a deeply weird writer who strongly influenced one fic in particular (Some Confusion, DGM), Patricia C. Wrede, because Dealing with Dragons in general and Cimorene in particular got to me, and Dennis Lehane, because a) his historical fiction is inspiring, and b) I love his handling of The Unhinged Friend in the Patrick and Angie books. The best unhinged friend. He booby traps his own home. Love him. What is wrong with him? We'll never know.

#book recs #robin mckinley #lloyd alexander #lois mcmaster bujold #sarah rees brennan #terry pratchett #neil gaiman #erin morgenstern

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banditthewriter · 2 years

Text

In Time - Billy Russo

And here we have the 2022 Halloween Fic! I want to thank everyone for supporting me and helping me get to the point where I was able to write this this year. I honestly wasn’t sure I’d be able to do it. And a very special thank you to @dragon-of-winterfell for sending in the idea that sparked this thing!

Summary: It’s time for the annual Purge. The reader usually hides in a bunker with Billy, Frank, Karen, and the Lieberman family. This year, things are going to get bloody.

Warnings: Torture. Writer has never seen Purge movies so don’t expect me to be too true to those stores. But seriously, the reader is tortured. Some things happen explicitly, but most are just described afterwards. Also writer barely edited this so...my bad.

Enjoy!

*gif is mine*

------

The chime above the door to Slice of Heaven made you look up from where you were balancing the books. An older couple came in and waved at you as they went to their usual booth. One of your waitresses was at their side a few moments later, chatting happily.

The diner had been left to you by your parents and you took a lot of pride in the environment that had been created. No such thing as a stranger, you treated everyone who came in as regulars. Of course this meant a lot of them did become regulars. Your staff was the same way.

A group of rowdy college boys were in the far corner goofing off. It was mid afternoon, not exactly your busiest time, but the laughter and excitement that poured off of them made the diner feel small.

Or maybe it was because you could hear what they were discussing.

"C'mon, what about going to like Ithaca or something? Smaller areas are less protected."

"Nah, that's why we need to stay near the city. We don't want to be away from all of it."

"Yea! It's gonna be wild. We could pick a small borough to stay near though."

Your skin prickled as you listened to them plan. A group of six guys all discussing the pros and cons of where they should settle down made you uneasy but you couldn't exactly kick them out. Even if a few of them seemed a little uneasy at the thought of being in the city.

A clatter from the kitchen had you turning away from the guys. One of the waitresses had dropped a tray of dishes. Thankfully nothing looked broken, but she was ashen as she bent down to pick them up.

"Let me help you," you offered softly as you knelt down beside her.

Emily was your newest waitress. Putting herself through college, she was a sweet and devoted worker. Her dream of coming to New York City for college hadn't been dampened by the laws, but you knew she wasn't looking forward to her first year here.

"It's going to be okay Em," you promised as you scooped the dishes back onto the tray. "You have your plan, right? It's been verified."

Her hands shook as she picked up the last few pieces of cutlery.

"I know. I went over it with the people you got me in touch with. I just…" Her eyes cut to the left. Even though you were both crouched on the floor in the kitchen and couldn't even see the dining room, you knew she was looking towards the college boys.

You took the spoons and forks from her hands. Then you helped her stand and pulled her into a hug.

"It's going to be okay Emily. I know you're worried right now, but it's going to be okay."

You desperately hoped you weren't wrong about that.

—

The soft chime of your cell phone made you look over from where you were wiping the counter. It was turned to a weird angle so you couldn't clearly read the name but the familiar picture of your best friend made you smile. Rag in one hand, you reached out and snagged the device with your other.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Billy Russo snorted in amusement.

"You're ridiculous. I always call you when you're closing by yourself."

You rolled your eyes at that, but it was out of fondness. You tucked the phone against your ear as you went back to cleaning.

"Nothing is going to happen to me, you know that."

"Some of us still very clearly remember what it was like before…"

Before. You remembered what it was like before as well.

Your eyes went to the picture of your parents in front of the door to Slice of Heaven the first day they opened it. They were from before as well.

A shudder ran through you at that. You shook away the memories and focused back on the conversation.

"Thanks again for helping Emily with her plan. I really appreciate it."

"Frank and I are happy to help. This time of year is our busiest for consulting, but Anvil is equipped for it."

"I know it is. I also know you don't charge my referrals like you're supposed to."

Billy snorted again. You heard a faint creak, most likely from his office chair as he readjusted his position.

"Your referrals are usually your employees. I know you pay them better than most but I also know most of them are either working multiple jobs already or putting themselves through school. They qualify for the friends of a friend discount."

"You also didn't let me pay when I had you guys consult for me."

"Because we didn't help you plan for what you were going to do. We just told you what you were going to do."

You laughed at that, but it was tinged with a little sadness.

"Can't believe this is the fourth time this is happening."

When the law had passed, you'd thought it was impossible. Who in the hell thought that making all crime legal for twelve hours would actually help the crime rate? And while the numbers seemed to support it, that didn't change the fact that it meant devastation for the people who couldn't afford to turn their homes into Fort Knox knock offs.

"There's talk about reversing the law. Maybe this will be the last one."

Your fingers clenched in the rag before you tossed it onto the counter.

"They've talked about that since it was put into effect. It's just a way for them to shut us up from complaining."

This was a constant worry for people even though it only took place once a year. People spent all year preparing for this. Most of them prepare to survive but some like the college kids from earlier were preparing to participate.

"Just remember to get to the bunker by 6:30, okay? You'll be safe with us."

That was putting it mildly. The bunker that they used was impenetrable and protected by so many counter measures that it would take an army to get through. It had been Frank's hideout at one point and then reinforced and updated with Billy's tech and money.

It would be their friend David "Micro" Leiberman and his family, Frank's girlfriend Karen Page, her friend and coworker Foggy Nelson, and you. Your first year had been spent alone and terrified, but since then you've been sequestered with them.

Frank and Billy sometimes started the night there, but usually they stayed out in the city. So did Matt Murdock, the blind lawyer with heightened senses who fought what little crime there was during the rest of the year. Frank and Billy stayed out to protect people as best they could.

Billy changed the subject to talk about something he had seen on television but your mind still strayed to what was coming in just a few days.

The fourth annual Purge was almost there.

—

Five Hours Until Purge

—

The atmosphere in the diner was different than it was every other day of the year. Most of your staff didn't work on the day of the purge, but you stayed open for a few hours. You provided a good meal to anyone and didn't charge. It had been your routine since the purge started.

Tensions always ran higher near the purge, but it was nothing like the day of. Everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells, careful not to tip the balances in case the stranger you interacted with was someone who would want to hunt you that night. Many people probably thought that's why you didn't charge for serving day of.

Except you had a very different reason. You saw these people come in for a meal and recognized that for some of them, it was either going to be their last meal or the last meal before their lives changed irreparably. You wanted to take some of that stress away for them.

Billy thought you were insane for working the day of the purge but as long as you closed early, he wouldn't push the issue. The purge started at 7pm so you always closed by 5 at the latest.

Your phone rang as you handed one of your three customers their food. With an apologetic smile you stepped away and pulled it out of your pocket.

Speak of the devil.

"It's only 2pm. You're early."

There was a stretch of silence on the other side that made you groan.

"You need to wrap up early today."

There was a seriousness in Billy's voice that made a chill run up your spine. You waved at your lone waiter Enrique to let him know you were going to step in the back for a second. Once you were in your office, you sat down on the edge of your desk.

"What's the matter? What's going on?"

One of the things you had learned about Billy was that there was always a reason for what he was doing. He was a very particular person that way. And even when he was serious about things, when he talked to you, it was always with a lightness in his voice. That lightness was gone.

"I mean it. Close up now and come to the bunker."

A sense of foreboding went over you as you listened to Billy's deep breaths.

"Billy, you're scaring me. Tell me what's going on?"

It wasn't your plea that made him sigh; it was you saying he was scaring you.

"The person that…the guy that Frank and I dealt with overseas…he's made some threats about this purge. Just, please, come to the bunker."

You rubbed your hand over your bare arm. You didn't know much about the guy himself, but you knew what he was referring to. Agent Orange as he was known while they were overseas, someone high up in the government who made Frank and Billy do things they regretted. If he was making threats, something had to have happened recently.

And it wasn't like they could handle it themselves. Sure, some crime happened during the rest of the year, but nothing that large. And higher up government officials were some of the only people off limits during the purge.

"The purge doesn't start until 7. I have plenty of time to get there Billy. I promise I'll close at five on the dot and I'll head straight there."

He swore, your name mixed in the middle. Then you could almost imagine him gathering himself before he spoke again.

"Get here as soon as you can. Promise me."

The ice that had gathered around your heart at the seriousness in his voice melted.

"I promise Billy."

—

Two Hours Before Purge

—

The sign on the door was flipped around to read that the diner was closed. Normally you opened up at 7 in the morning but you would be closed tomorrow as well. The diner had been covered in graffiti before, windows broken and some stuff stolen, so you always pushed back reopening for a few days so you could clean it up. Thankfully your insurance covered purge related damages.

You finished your locking up and made sure everything you cared about was in the safe under the floor. Then you checked your purse for the bank deposit which you'd drop off in the morning.

The mental checklist you had for the purge was mostly complete. Just needed to grab your bag which you'd already brought to the front and you could leave. You'd pull down the metal gate and lock up before you would head to the bunker.

The bell chiming over the door made you spin around. Then you cautiously poked your head out of your office.

Three men stood in the middle of the dinner. They looked normal enough, jeans and long sleeve shirts. One was wearing dress shoes as he looked up at the menu over the counter.

"HI, sorry guys, I'm closed for the day."

The one closest to you spun around to face you with a confused look.

"The door was unlocked and the sign said open?"

You glanced at the door and sure enough, your sign was turned around. Unease settled in your stomach as you stared at the lock on the door which was obviously unlocked. But you remembered locking it and flipping the sign.

"Must have slipped my mind, sorry about that. We are closed though."

The guy in the dress shoes smiled and pressed his hands onto the counter.

"C'mon, we just want some coffee. Gonna be a long night."

That unease grew as the three men stayed standing on the other side of the counter. Your eyes darted to the clock on the wall.

"I already emptied the pot," you said as you clutched your bag a little tighter.

"Fresh pot sounds good to me," the guy you assumed was the leader said before he pulled down a stool to sit. The others followed suit.

Shit. Okay, well you'd make some coffee and put it in to go cups. You almost wanted to lock the door again but with them in there, you weren't about to do that. Instead you walked out into the dining room and flipped the sign around. Then you grabbed your bag and carried it back to your office. You tucked your duffle and purse in a corner behind a cabinet before you headed back to the counter.

You kept one eye on the three of them as you started a new pot of coffee. They talked quietly amongst themselves, loud enough for you to hear they were discussing some sporting event they had gone to recently. A little of the unease let up but you didn't drop your guard.

The melody of your ring tone made you jump. As you pulled it out, you saw at least one of the guys sit up a little straighter.

You didn't even look at the phone to know who it was.

"I haven't left yet," you said immediately, phone to your ear.

God how slow was this coffee pot?

"It's after five, you should have closed. Leave the cleaning until later."

You made your way into the kitchen. When the swinging door shut behind you, you sighed.

"Had some stragglers want some coffee."

Billy's voice was cold when he spoke.

"Fuck 'em. Tell them to get out. You're pushing it right now and you need to get out of there."

You moved to the side so you could see through the small window on the door. The men were all still talking but you had a feeling they were all on alert.

Red flags shot up and made your hands shake.

"Billy, I think…I think they may be…I might be in trouble."

You heard a swear. Then in the background you heard another voice. It was obviously Frank even if you couldn't make out what he was saying.

"Yea, I got it," Billy said to Frank. Then to you, "Go back out there and talk to me. Make it loud but not obvious. Talk like you're talking to your boyfriend or husband, okay?"

You didn't want to go back out there but you had to. As much as you wanted to leave out the back door, you didn't want to leave them in your diner.

With Billy's steady voice in your ear, you stepped through the swinging door and went over to the coffee pot. Then, a little louder than you normally would have, you began to talk to Billy.

"Don't worry babe, I'll be finished here in a few minutes. I'm grabbing the to go cups now."

You grabbed the thickened Styrofoam cups and started to pour the coffee.

"Good, good. Alright, now I'm coming to you okay?"

"You're coming here? I thought I was meeting you there," you said loudly, half so they would hear and half because you were surprised.

"Not anymore, not with you in danger. I'm leaving the bunker now and I'm speeding all the way."

The bunker was about 30 minutes away. You glanced up at the clock. Almost five thirty.

"Okay, I'll see you in ten minutes," you said nonchalantly as you finished off the last cup.

"Good girl, lie through your teeth. I'll be there in fifteen. Act like you're hanging up and put the phone down but don't disconnect. You're not going to be alone, okay?"

"Okay Billy, I'll see you in ten. Bye."

You pretended to hit a button on the screen and then locked it so that the light went away. You placed the phone face up. Then you grabbed the three cups and lids and carried them over to the guys.

"There's cream and sugar on the counter or by the door. I really do need to close up though."

The one who had done all the talking grinned and raised his hands after he dropped some bills on the counter.

"We know when we're not welcome. Thanks for the coffee."

They grabbed a few packets of sugar and creamer and all made their way to the door. You watched it close behind them and sighed out gratefully. They really did just stop by for coffee.

You grabbed your phone and put it back to your ear.

"They left."

"Lock the door and get your stuff. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Your heart skipped a beat. Even with the immediate danger being gone, you didn't want to be alone.

"Please don't hang up."

"I'm not going anywhere sweetheart, I'm still on the phone. Go lock the door."

You sighed gratefully. Then you scurried to do as you were told. You locked the door and peered through the blinds.

The street was abandoned. The other stores you could see already had their gates pulled down. No cars were on the street, no people walking this way or that. Completely empty.

You hurried back to your office and grabbed your bags again. You leaned against the wall and sighed.

"Next year I'm not opening day of," you said as you closed your eyes and tried to slow your racing heart.

"No shit," Billy said sarcastically with a little relief in his voice. "I'm locking you in the bunker at 7am the day before. You have no idea how terrified I was when you said you thought you were in trouble."

You thought about the threats he had mentioned. Yea, you imagined he would have been scared.

"I know that you're scared they might go through me to get to you, but–"

"I'm not worried about myself. Just like Frank isn't worried about himself. He worries about Karen and I'm worried about you."

Your heart skipped a beat for a very different reason.

"You don't have to worry about me Billy. I'm okay."

You heard him sigh over the low hum of the engine of his car.

"I can't help it. That's what you do when you lov–"

Billy's words were drowned out by glass shattering in the other room. You let out a scream and jumped away from the door.

"What? What is it?!"

"I don't know. It sounds like the window was shattered or something."

That low hum of his engine increased.

"I'm almost there, okay? Just stay in your office. I'm almost there."

You opened your mouth to say you would, that you knew he'd be there soon. Instead all you could do was start to cough.

Some sort of smoke was filling your office. You coughed and tried to wave it away from your face.

"There's smoke…" you said as you coughed, trying to let Billy know what was going on.

"Smoke? Is the diner on fire?"

You opened your mouth to say no, it didn't smell like that kind of smoke. But your eyes drooped shut and you felt your body folding in on itself.

Your last thoughts as you distantly heard Billy yell your name was that this wasn't supposed to be happening yet. It was too early.

—

There seemed to be a marching band performing in your head. Deep thudding and loud crashing, over and over. You squeezed your eyes shut as if that would help block the noise. Then with a groan you reached up to block your ears.

Well you would have if your hands would move. You frowned and opened your eyes, a process that took forever. Except…no, your eyes were open. So why was it so dark?

You took a deep breath out of fear. A cough erupted from your lungs from the force, but it didn't make it past whatever was in your mouth.

Everything came screaming to a halt as it all came back to you. The men in the diner. Them leaving. The glass shattering in the front of the diner. Smoke filling your office. Billy telling you he was on his way.

Billy. You'd been on the phone with you. He would have heard, wouldn't he? He had been close to the diner, he said he was almost there.

Slowly you become aware of your body aching. Your right arm was stretched above you, tied to something with no slack. Your left arm was tied to something else that was lower but still tight enough you couldn't even wiggle them. Your legs were under you, bound at the ankles it felt like. Then you focused on your face. A blindfold and some sort of gag were on your face, keeping you disoriented and silent.

And there was something heavy around your neck, resting on your sternum. You lowered your head to poke it with your chin. Metal, bulky.

"Wouldn't do that if I were you," a voice said from your left. When you jerked, they chuckled. "Welcome back to the land of the living. Don't start messing with your necklace, okay? Unless you aren't interested in keeping your head attached to your neck."

You froze. It was some sort of device, whether a bomb or something even more nefarious, and it was primed to hurt you.

"Is our guest awake?"

A second voice. You forced yourself to clear your mind of the fears that were growing. A sense of calm fell over you. Then you turned your remaining sense to the task at hand. You listened as the two men spoke.

"She's up. Grab that for me, will ya?"

You heard something clang which made you jump. Then there was pressure on your arms. Whatever you were tied to started to adjust until you were standing, both arms outstretched. Your shoulders ached from the angle and the way your body was being lifted.

With your ankles tied together, you probably would have wobbled or been unbalanced, but the mechanism holding you up bore most of your weight.

"Did you grab the…ah, there. Let me see. Shit, locked. Hold on."

You felt something touch your right hand and you tried to flinch away. When that didn't work you forced your fingers inward.

That didn't stop the man from prying your fingers open. When you tried to do it again, he yanked your pointer finger backwards to the point where you felt it pop. The scream you let out was muffled through the gag as pain washed over you from what was probably a broken finger.

"Stop moving, jeez."

The nonchalance in his voice made your blood run cold. Then something was pressed against your newly broken finger making you cry out again but you forced yourself not to move.

"There we go. Aaaaand…there!"

Your phone. That was the thing they had, the thing that was pressed against your pointer finger. They needed it unlocked.

Not that you had any idea what he'd done with it.

"I almost feel bad for her," the first voice said without a shred of sympathy in his voice. "Innocent bystander in this."

"No one is innocent. Remember that. And especially not–"

Whatever he was going to say was drowned out by a noise in the distance. It took you a minute minute recognize the sound.

It was the siren that marked the beginning of the purge. Your blood ran cold even as you felt the heat of fear rush over your skin.

"Ah, perfect timing."

Hands came to your head but you didn't move, frozen in fear. It didn't matter because all that happened was that your blindfold was removed. You blinked a few times to get your eyes adjusted to the dim light above you and take in your surroundings. Some sort of warehouse. Two men in front of you.

One was one of the guys from the diner. The other was a shorter bald man who you didn't recognize. You'd definitely remember someone with a glass eye.

"Let the games begin," the man with the glass eye said as he smiled at you.

—

7pm

—

You'd never seen a shark up close but you imagined it looked a lot like the man with the glass eye that paced back and forth in front of you. There was something so unsettling about the man as he stood in a button up shirt and slacks. His attire wasn't threatening, his features weren't either. It was something else, something under the surface. Some animal instinct that made you sense that this was a predator and you were the prey.

The second man came over and undid the knot that held the gag in your mouth. He pulled it away and you immediately took a deep breath. Your chest hurt, a byproduct of whatever gas they used to knock you out, but you didn't cough this time.

"Rawlins, here."

Something was passed to the man with a glass eye. You caught a glimpse of your phone case before he slid it into his pocket.

"You're in for a long night. Don't bother screaming for help. No one will hear you."

They kept you blindfolded and gagged before the start because if you somehow got away, you wouldn't be able to describe them. But now it was fair game. Except…

"You kidnapped me before the start," you said, your voice shaking a bit.

The glass eyed man walked up until he was in front of you, his breath fanning against your face.

"That will be our little secret."

Because you weren't getting out of here alive. No one would know you'd gotten kidnapped before the start because there was no one around and you'd be unable to tell anyone after it was over because they were going to kill you.

Billy. You'd been on the phone with Billy when it happened. You almost said as much, wanted to tell them they wouldn't get away with it, but you bit your tongue. You didn't want him to be a target.

What did think when he got to the diner and saw that you were gone? He'd be worried, frantic. He'd probably try to find you, to bring you back.

Maybe he'd avenge you. Like Frank did with the loss of his wife and kids. The first purge, he went after the people who killed them. Part of you thought that that's why he and Billy kept going out during the purge. To keep anyone else from going through the pain that Frank still carried with him.

Then you thought about Billy. The phone conversation before the attack.

You'd told him he didn't have to worry about you and he'd said he couldn't help it. The next part had been interrupted by the attack, but it'd sounded like he was going to say that's what you do when you love someone.

You straightened your spine and stared straight at the man that had taken you. Pain radiated from your finger, your head was pounding.

You weren't going to give in without a fight. That's what Billy would do, what Frank or Karen would do. It's what your parents would want you to do.

This man could break your bones and your body but he wasn't going to break your spirit. If there was a way for you to survive, you'd find it. If there wasn't a way, you'd make him regret ever targeting you.

Let the games begin indeed.

—

8pm

—

You had been mostly left alone. Every now and then someone would come in and take a picture of you with their phone, but you hadn't seen Glass Eye since the first confrontation.

The delay was probably part of the torture. Being constantly on edge was making you paranoid of every noise in the distance. The lack of distraction also meant your finger was hurting twice as much. You could just barely see it from your position but you didn't want to look at it.

Now that you didn't have people in the room with you, you looked around to get your bearings. It was definitely some sort of a warehouse. Your arms were strung from pieces of equipment that hung from the rafters but you didn't recognize any of it. There was a stale smell, like it hadn't been used in a while.

You couldn't move around much because you didn't know anything about the contraption around your neck, but you could turn just enough to see a clock on the far wall. The hands were moving and it seemed to be correct. You watched the minute hand tick and tick from 8:05 to 8:10 to 8:15.

The door opened and someone came in. It was the leader of the group that you remembered from the diner. He grinned at you as he raised his phone to snap a picture of you.

"Why are you doing this?"

He was as surprised as you were that you spoke. Then the question sunk in and he shrugged.

"It's the purge. We can do whatever we want."

You shifted a bit, internally wishing your legs weren't tied together because you wanted to stand your ground.

"And this is what you want? To kidnap and torture a stranger who has never done anything to you?"

He walked a little closer to you, looking you over. There was nothing sexual in his eyes, just a clinical once over. When he met your gaze again, you had a brief moment to think you might have misjudged him before he spoke.

"I don't care what happens to you. I don't care about what happens to anyone. In the morning I'm getting paid a hefty sum, no matter if you're alive or not. That's all I care about."

The cold detachment in his voice made you shudder. Then he gave you that same grin from before as he turned to leave you alone once more.

Your eyes went to the clock and you watched the minutes tick by. At 8:30 the door opened and someone else came in to take a picture of you. You didn't engage this time, just waited until they shut the door before you looked at the clock again.

Once more at 8:45, another picture. Every fifteen minutes. You wondered why they'd be doing that if they weren't doing anything to you. It wasn't like you were changing much just hanging here.

Unless it was going to become some sort of sick flipbook of your twelve hours of captivation, you could only think of one reason that they were taking pictures of you like this.

Proof of life.

—

9pm

—

After the picture at 9, you decided you needed to do something. Hanging here and waiting wasn't working for you. You were just about to start wiggling your left arm to see if you could work the ropes loose when the door opened again.

Glass Eye walked in. He didn't immediately head over to you. First he went over to a table that had some black cloth on it. When he pulled back the cloth, you wanted to recoil. Laid out were different kinds of instruments. They all probably had legitimate uses, but in this room, you could think of only one.

He pushed the table over so that it was closer to you. Then he stepped back and raised a phone. It took you a second to realize he was holding your phone still. He snapped a picture and tapped away for a second before he stepped back and took another photo.

The table. He was making sure the table was in view. What had been pictures for proof of life were taking a turn. This was more a threat of what was to come.

"Won't be long now," he said as he slid your phone back into his pocket.

Then he turned and started away from you. Anger and fear rose in you until you blurted something out.

"Just do something you asshole!"

The outburst made him pause. He turned to look at you over his shoulder. Then he turned to face you fully. Your body began to shake as he walked towards you. A sigh of relief almost passed your lips as he bypassed the table, but it was turned into a groan as his fist came flying and slammed into your stomach. Another caught the side of your face and made your head jerk sideways. Another in your stomach again.

As you doubled over as much as your arms would let you, you tried to catch your breath. You saw a movement and then flinched backwards as his hand grabbed your chin to raise your face.

Your phone was in front of you for a second before he pulled away. Then he turned to leave without a word.

The pain in your stomach was mild compared to the pain in your face. You felt something slowly dripping from your cheek and realized he must have split the skin over your cheekbone. Hell with that much pain he might have shattered your cheekbone.

Taunting him obviously wasn't the way to go about things.

You glanced at the clock and sighed. 9:12. Someone would be in soon for the next picture. Until then you'd close your eyes and wait.

—

9:56pm

—

The door opening made you look up in a rush. After Glass Eye had used you as a punching bag, no one had come in for the routine pictures. While you hadn't let your guard down entirely, you'd relaxed a bit to try to conserve energy.

From the angry look on Glass Eye's face, you had to think you'd definitely need that energy.

He moved over to the table and let his fingers run over the handles of various instruments before they landed on what looked like a scalpel. Your eyes narrowed as he picked it up and tested the sharpness on the pad of his thumb.

Then he turned towards you with it.

"You can scream if you need to. I won't let it disturb me."

You swallowed thickly as you stared at the item in his hand. You had a feeling you would definitely need to scream.

—

10:42pm

—

A flash made you squint your eyes. The sight of your phone disappearing in Glass Eye's blood stained pocket would have made you frown if you had the energy. Instead you just hung limply as you watched him leave.

A glance at the clock told you it had been almost an hour. There were dozens of cuts and stabs all over your body. Nowhere that would kill you or make you bleed out. He was careful about that.

Tears ran over your face and mixed with the blood there. You weren't sure how many cuts he'd made in your face as you'd passed out at some point, but blood had dripped into your eyes. He'd taken a washcloth and cleaned your eyes because he wanted to make sure you could see him.

Your eyes shut and you let yourself cry even though it hurt. The pain was too much. The scent of blood mixed with the vomit where you'd gotten sick at some point.

In and out of the daze you found yourself in, you thought about the bunker. If you were there, you would all be settling in in the bedroom. There were cots and couches in there now so people could rest. Micro's kids would sleep but the adults would never fully give in to the need. Not until the siren went off again to say the purge was over.

You wouldn't even close your eyes until Billy and Frank walked back through the door. Until you could personally check Billy to make sure he wasn't injured.

You thought about all the times you tried to convince yourself--and sometimes Karen--that you weren't in love with Billy. The number of times you told yourself you were just friends. The number of times you tried to ignore the fact that Billy always looked for you first in a crowd, that when he got to the bunker he immediately went to your side so you could look him over, that he put your safety before everything.

The fact that you would die before you got to say those words to him hurt you worse than anything Glass Eye could do to you.

—

11:27pm

—

"You've lasted longer than I expected," Glass Eye said as he dropped another of your fingernails onto the table. "Only passed out once that time."

You swallowed thickly to hold in more bile. Your lips were split from his punches and your teeth as you bit them to keep from begging him to just kill you.

"I can see what Russo sees in you."

It took a moment for that to sink in. You blinked the tears out of your eyes and turned your head a bit to look at him.

He met your gaze with his one functioning eye, your blood splattered on his face and shirt.

"Did you think this was random? That I just felt the urge to torture some random diner owner? My job means I can torture anyone I want to. No, I picked you on purpose. You're close to him and I…I want to hurt him."

Your eyes moved over his face as you thought about all of this.

Hated Billy. His job was torture. Someone had called him Rawlins. Glass eye.

Glass eye. It came to you slowly, a story from long ago. Back when Billy and Frank first told you and Karen what had happened overseas. Frank punched Agent Orange and shattered his cheekbone, ruining his eye.

Glass Eye was Agent Orange.

"I can see the wheels turning now. I guess I should be flattered that Russo would tell you about me."

He shook his head as he put the pliers down on the table. You waited to see what he would pick up next. Instead of anything on the table he reached into his pocket and grabbed your phone. You looked up at him as he was getting the camera ready.

He looked surprised as he stared at you. You weren't sure why until he spoke.

"Why are you smiling?"

Were you? You probably were. Only because a very important thought had come to you.

"Billy is going to kill you."

The words felt like sandpaper in your throat from the screams, but the sentiment soothed your soul. Billy would avenge you and get his revenge all at the same time.

Rawlins shook his head. He snapped the picture, tapped a few things in the phone before he put it back in his pocket.

"I'm high up in the government. I'm untouchable."

You remembered that now. You'd heard Billy and Frank lamenting that fact sometimes.

But now? You look at the pile of your nails on the table, the amount of blood you'd already lost. Felt every wound he had inflicted. Then you raised your gaze back to his.

"You won't be untouchable once Billy gets his hands on you."

A flash of something like fear went through Rawlins. For the first time since this all started, you had gotten under his skin.

It was small compared to everything he had done to you, but you still felt like you won this round.

—

12:04am

—

In and out of consciousness, your mind drifted away from your body. You tried to imagine arriving at the bunker like this, but your mind refused. You couldn't see yourself with your friends again.

You were going to die here. It had been your fear when you first realized you were kidnapped before the purge officially started, but as your entire body ached from the torture, you knew it was inevitable. Rawlins wanted to make Billy suffer but you had a feeling right now he was just playing with you both. The endgame was death; yours and Billy's probably. But yours would happen first.

The door creaked open but you didn't look up. Not until you heard Rawlins speak.

"Someone wants to talk to you."

It took you a moment to register the words. Then it took another few moments to register he was holding a phone out towards you. Your phone.

Since you highly doubted that he expected you to grab the phone, you just swallowed and tried to speak.

"H-hello?"

Seconds later you heard a voice that made you want to cry. Billy. He said your name once, then again softer.

"Are you okay?"

You thought about everything you'd been through since you'd been taken. The pain you were in, the blood you'd lost, everything. Then you let out a small laugh.

"I've been better," you hedged instead of being honest.

"Now you know she's alive, what about my terms?" Rawlins met your gaze as he said the next part. "You for her life. Turn yourself over to me and I'll release her."

You could see it in his eyes that this was a trap. He had no intention of letting you go. He never did. You felt the heavy weight of the device around your neck, felt every ache as it resounded through your body.

You weren't getting out alive but that didn't mean that Billy had to suffer. He could stay safe, plan. Avenge you.

"Wait, wait, please," you begged, your face a mask of fear that wasn't exactly faked. You needed Rawlins to believe you were about to plead for your life so he would let you speak.

And it seemed like it worked because he gestured for you to speak.

"Billy? Can you hear me?"

His voice cracked as he answered, "I can hear you."

You swallowed and closed your eyes, begged whoever was listening for the strength to do what you needed to. Then you opened your eyes and looked Rawlins in the eye.

"Don't turn yourself in. He's going to kill me either way."

Rawlins looked like he wanted to hit you but he didn't give in to the urge. Instead he shifted a bit on his feet as he waited for Billy's response.

"Rawlins. You've spent these years protected because of your position. That's the only reason that Frank and I haven't gone after you. You were untouchable, safe. But you made a mistake. You took someone else that we care about. You hurt her, you tortured her. You spent years safe in your anonymity but you came down to our level just to get to me. It means you're not untouchable anymore."

Rawlins swallowed thickly. He looked like he was trying to compose himself but there was an underlying anxiety that was coming out of him.

You heard Billy release a breath and you realized you'd heard it before. That noise was one he made when he was centering himself.

"Hey Rawlins? You look a little pale."

You understood the comment seconds before Rawlins did. He immediately started towards you, pulling a gun out from where it was tucked in the back of his pants. He didn't even get it raised before there was a loud pop. You'd been to the shooting range with Karen before so you recognized the sound of a gunshot. In the second after the sound you expected pain but none came. Instead you watched Rawlins spin around and clutch at his shoulder where you saw a darker blood spot blooming.

"HE'S HERE! GET IN HERE!"

The other guys flooded in, somewhere between six and eight in total. You forced yourself not to close your eyes as gunshots exploded. The shot came through a window to the side and they all fired in that direction. Except you doubted they'd reach him.

Billy was a sniper. He didn't have to be nearby.

The lights shattered as they were shot out. You bit back a scream as the sounds of the gunshots got more chaotic. You could imagine from various grunts and hollers that the other guys were getting struck, but you forced your attention to Rawlins as he approached you.

He reached up and undid the rope that held your left hand up. He held his gun to your forehead as he worked on the second rope on your right hand.

You couldn't walk because your legs were still tied together, but there was a relief in not having your body being held up by your arms. And it seemed you didn't need to walk because Rawlins threw his arm around you and started to drag you sideways.

You didn't get a chance to fight back because before Rawlins had pulled you three feet from where you'd been held captive for the last few hours, you felt your body being yanked to the side. Then you watched as a dark figure struck out at Rawlins. The gun went off but the bullet missed its mark as his arm was struck.

The blanks were filled in by your hectic mind as you fell to your knees and dove for the dropped gun. The dark figure that was fighting Rawlins was Matt–Daredevil currently.

Gun in hand, you crawled backwards until your back hit a piece of equipment. Gunshots lit up areas of the room, enough to see that there were people in the room fighting, not just shooting at each other. You recognized Jessica Jones, the alcoholic PI who also had super strength, and Luke Cage, the invulnerable man. Seeing all of them made you realize the scale of this rescue mission.

Someone came to your corner and you raised your gun. Hands flew up, one holding a small pen light. It gave off enough illumination to realize it was David.

"Micro," you exclaimed in confusion.

"I heard there was a need for IT support," he said with a gesture towards your neck. "Just keep that gun handy and shoot any unfriendlies that might come our way."

He knelt down beside you and started fiddling with the device on your neck. You kept your gaze on the rest of the room while he worked, barely letting yourself think that this might still end with you dying after all.

You caught a familiar sight coming through the door. Frank and Billy marched in wearing dark tactical gear. They both went over to where Matt was fighting Rawlins but you thought you saw them both look your way first.

"Only one missing is Karen," you muttered as you cooked your head to the side to give Micro more room.

"She's driving the getaway car and has a rocket launcher for protection," he offered through teeth clenched around the pen light.

A rocket launcher? Jesus.

A yell made you look forward once more. It looked like someone was down and was surrounded. Your stomach flipped until you realized who was still standing. Matt, Jessica, and Luke were on one side, Frank and Billy on the other. There were lumps all over the ground, the other men that had been keeping you captive. That meant the person on the ground was…

Frank knelt down beside the man and started to slam his fists into his face. Over and over and over.

Then you couldn't see it anymore. Instead you were looking at legs. The person that was standing in front of you knelt down until you could see their face.

"Billy."

Your eyes had adjusted to the dark enough to see that he was looking you over. Since you could feel every bruise, abrasion, and cut on your face, you imagined what he was seeing wasn't very good. You gave him a smile that was probably more of a wince.

"Shit. Are you…"

You didn't think he was going to finish that sentence. It was obvious you weren't okay. Instead you took a deep breath and tried to ignore the pain that that brought.

"You came for me."

He did a double take at that. Then he reached out and placed his hand gently on your knees which were bent at an odd angle.

"Of course I…we did. Of course we did."

He pulled a knife from seemingly nowhere but you knew he usually kept one stashed on him. When you flinched, he clenched his jaw. Then he slowly moved the hand with the knife until he could cut the bonds around your ankles and knees.

"Aaaaand done!"

There was a click that accompanied Micro's words and then the device around your neck released some of the tension. He gently removed it from your neck and shoulders and stood up with it in his hands.

"This is a diabolical piece of hardware. If it had gone off, it would have been…I'm going to go…get rid of it."

You furrowed your eyebrows at his weirder than usual antics. When you turned to look at Billy to see if he noticed, he was glaring at Micro.

Ah. That made sense.

Frank came up to the two of you a moment later. Even though his suit was black, you could see the slickness of blood on him. You knew without a doubt Rawlins was dead. At this point they'd probably need to do DNA testing to get a positive ID.

"Shit, how did you survive that? We need to get you out of here."

You tried to give him a smile but the reality of being safe meant that the adrenaline that had carried you through the events of the night was disappearing. All that was left in its wake was exhaustion and pain.

"I don't think I can walk," you admitted as you tried to force yourself to stand.

"I've got you. Just…I'm sorry, it's going to hurt."

Billy lifted you up, his arm around your waist. You winced but held on as tight as you could. Once you were upright, he ducked down and lifted your legs up in his other arm. Fully in his hold, you turned your face into his neck and closed your eyes.

"You're safe now," Billy whispered into your ear.

You tried to stay awake and aware, but exhaustion swept over you. The feeling of being safe overwhelmed you and you slowly drifted off.

—

1:12am

—

You woke up in the back of a car, your head pillowed on someone's lap. You squinted into the front and saw Karen in the passenger seat beside Frank. And Frank was…raising his gun out of the window?

And so was Karen. And so was whoever you were curled up on. You followed the arm above you to see Billy's face. He looked tense as he pointed the gun at something outside.

"You don't wanna do that kid," Frank said from the front seat. "This is not the car for you, you understand me?"

Oh. Someone must have been threatening to carjack you guys. Even if it wasn't the purge, you had a feeling that the reaction would have been the same. A few moments later you felt the car start moving again.

Billy didn't drop the gun but his free hand lightly rested against your wrist. You reached up with your hand and covered his.

"I'm right here sweetheart," he whispered down to you as he soothed his thumb over your wrist. "It's okay."

You closed your eyes again and nodded.

"I know it's okay. I'm safe with you."

The thumb paused and then continued to rub back and forth until you fell asleep again.

—

2:30am

—

"All done," Curtis said quietly as he pulled off his gloves.

You peered up at him from where you were on a table in a secluded corner of the bunker. He'd met you all at the bunker and immediately started to work at patching you up. It had taken most of the first aid materials that were stored in the bunker before he was satisfied.

"It'll take a few months for the nails to grow back," he said as he gestured to your wrapped fingertips. "The broken finger should heal in a few weeks. Everything else will take a few weeks but…you'll probably always have the scars."

You reached up and touched your face where you could feel various butterfly bandages. Curtis covered your hand and gently lowered it back down.

"Not just those. The mental and emotional scars of your ordeal? Those are going to stick with you for a long time."

You nodded and closed your eyes. The moment you did, you saw Rawlins’ face. It made your eyes immediately pop back open.

"I'll send Billy in."

With that Curtis went around the wall that separated this area from the rest of the bunker. You were alone for only a few moments before the anxiety fully gripped you. You slowly sat up on the table. As you started to swing your legs over the edge of the table, Billy came around from the direction Curtis had disappeared.

"You shouldn't be getting up alone. Here. Let me help you to one of the cots."

He went to your side but hesitated. You sighed and tucked your hands against your stomach.

"I'm sorry," you whispered.

Billy nearly jumped away from you at that.

"What in the hell are you apologizing for? You didn't do anything wrong."

"If I'd just closed earlier, none of this would have happened."

He swore at that.

"You think this is your fault? You're an innocent bystander in all of this. You didn't deserve this. Rawlins only took you because he knew it would hurt me." He pressed his freehand on the table near you. "If either of us are to blame, it's me. Me and Frank are the reason…"

You reached out and covered Billy's hand with yours. He hesitated before he covered yours as well.

"How about we just agree that he was a monster and the fault lies with him?"

Billy laughed at that. He bowed his head down and shook his head.

"Have I thanked you for saving me?"

His head shot up and he met your gaze. You watched as he seemed to fight with himself for a second before he leaned in and pressed a very gentle and chaste kiss against your lips.

"You never have to thank me for that. You are one of the few people I actually care about. It's my job to protect you."

You thought about the words that he had almost said before you were kidnapped, the words you longed to say back to him. Then you leaned in and pressed a slightly longer kiss to his lips.

For now you would keep the words to yourself, but not for long. You knew for a fact how short life could be.

—

7am

—

The siren sounded in the distance, a voice saying the annual purge was over. You heard the soft sighs of David and his family. Karen rubbed her red eyes and leaned a little heavier against a freshly showered Frank. He kissed her forehead before he looked over at you and Billy.

"It's over."

This year. You didn't want to think about that so instead you nodded. Billy's arm around you tightened.

"Same routine as usual. Stay here for another hour to make sure everything is done out there. Then we go home and try to rest."

You thought about your diner, wondered if it was even still standing. As if he was reading your mind, Billy pressed a kiss to your temple.

"We'll check it but then I'm taking you home. I want to keep an eye on you for a few days."

"No complaints here," you said quietly as you leaned against his shoulder.

You met Karen's eye across the room. You knew that this has been a big deal for everyone. Not just your kidnapping although you knew they all cared about you. Also because this was the final revenge for both men. Frank got to kill the man that caused the death of his family and Billy apparently got to put a few bullets into him to start with.

The purge was over. Maybe things would change and it would be the last one. Hopefully. If not, you knew next year you'd do things differently.

Billy would see to that. He would keep you safe.

You felt him press a kiss to your temple again and you smiled in spite of your pain. It wasn't exactly a happy ending, but it was a good one either way.

Thank you for reading this year’s Halloween fic! I hope you enjoyed.

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfic #my writing #stay don't go #halloween fic

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