#and i DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME! CAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT THEY'D UNDERSTAND!

[nerdygaymormon]

Sometimes you mention that you've lived long enough to see changes in the church on LGBTQ topics. What are some of the major changes you've experienced in church?

I feel like I've lived in 3 eras of the LDS Church.

When I was a child, it was an era that now seems very far away. Black people weren't allowed to go to the temple or have the priesthood (which also limited which callings they could have in church). Church met twice on Sundays, once for Sunday School (children attended Jr Sunday School) and I think priesthood quorums met prior to Sunday School, and then we came again later that day for Sacrament meeting. This part is fuzzy to me, but I think youth activities were on Tuesday, and Primary was on Wednesday (and I think Relief Society was also on Wednesday). In addition to paying tithing, my parents were asked to contribute to the local ward budget, and we raised money to build the local church building. I remember my family working on the local church farm (I'm not sure if it was part of the welfare system or was a fundraiser for the local stake/ward budgets, perhaps both). There was a BIG emphasis on food storage. Social life revolved around church as there were many activities such as the annual Gold & Green Ball (dinner and a dance for the married folks, it was a big deal, they'd dress fancy for it). The church members were socially and politically conservative.

My teens and young adult years were spent in a different era. The church had undone the restrictions on Black members. Church was now consolidated to a 3-hour block on Sundays (except for youth activities on Wednesdays). Temples started getting built in big cities outside of Utah but still were a far drive for many members, instead of going on a temple trip once a year, as a youth we could go twice a year when a temple was built a few hours away. There were still a lot of activities, especially for the teenagers, such as big stake/regional dances, sports competitions, road shows, and a big youth trip in the summer. The ward budgets came from the church (from the tithing) and not from individual members of the ward giving more, and we no longer had to contribute (either money or labor) for local church buildings to get constructed. We didn't work on farms anymore, but worked in the cannery (I remember hearing adults talk about operating machines that bottled ketchup). While the membership was still very conservative, a more moderate approach was being taken by top leadership, and President Hinckley made big steps towards being more open with the world.

I'd say that President Nelson has ushered in another era. Two-hour church on Sundays. Wednesday youth programs being less rigorous or programmed. Temples within a relatively short drive of members and encouragement to go often. Teenagers can have their own temple recommends. No home or visiting teachers and instead a conversation and informal friendship counts as ministering. Few church activities outside of those for youth and our regular church meetings. More accommodation for differences in beliefs of what were considered core doctrines & principles (this started before the Nelson era). The internet has caused the church to be more open about its past, including some issues which are hard like racism and polygamy (again, this predates the Nelson era). There's also been steps to undo some of the patriarchy in the church structure (like women can serve as witnesses and changes to the temple ceremony).

I definitely would not want to go back to the era of the 1970's when I was a child. While there are things I miss from the era of Hinckley & Monson, I don't think I'd like to revert back. The one effect I worry about from the recent changes is people have weaker social ties to their church community. I've heard leaders say that church isn't a social club, but for a long time it was and I think the church underestimates the importance of social connections.

—————————————————

As for LGBTQ history in the LDS Church, Nathan Kitchen, the former president of Affirmation, did an excellent job in describing the changes in the church on these topics. I have lived through 5 eras of the church on LGBTQ issues.

The era from when I was a child was brutal. Even saying you're gay was seen as sinful. You were expected to fight with everything you had to completely erase these feelings. Attempts to remove these “tendencies” included electro-shock therapy at BYU. Most families would reject the queer family member.

The death of President Spencer W. Kimball in 1985 led to the next era for LGBTQ members. Rather than insist on complete erasure of homosexual feelings, gay members were to behave like straight people--get married and have kids and DON'T TELL ANYONE. This is the invisible generation who felt isolated and alone, hidden from other members and each other. Every so often we still hear about a former mission president or stake president who finally comes out after decades of living as a straight person. Most of the mixed-orientation marriages failed, the queer person eventually spoke their truth, picked up the pieces of their shattered dreams, and moved on and out of the church.

In 1998, President Gordon B. Hinckley did a widely-viewed interview with Larry King in which he said said we love "so-called gays and lesbians" and put forward the idea that gay thoughts aren’t a problem, but gay actions are. The church's view was that some of us are struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions, much like people who have other addictions. Even as the church led a major effort to defeat marriage equality, queer members no longer had to remain hidden, so they found each other and attended conferences together and encouraged each other. Members would admire queer members for their wrestle against their attractions. Because they were trying to make this path work and were admired for it, these queer members mostly didn’t share their struggles & mental health challenges with their family, friends, or other members. They were visible, but largely were silent. A generation seen but not heard.

Beginning in the early 2010's, a growing number of gay members receive media attention, and groups like Mama Dragons and North Star are formed. By the mid-2010's the church shifts its approach and starts highlighting and celebrating gay and bisexual members who are single & celibate, and also a few who are in mixed-orientation marriages. The church starts softening its former positions as it officially rejects conversion therapy, advocates for no violence and doesn't require members to deny their queer identities. As long as you are single & celibate, you are welcome. This is also when trans members start entering the consciousness of the church as in 2015 Emmett Claren (now Emmett Presciado) starts a YouTube channel where he documents his transition and in 2017 Kris Irvin makes national news for having a bishop threaten to withhold a BYU ecclesiastical endorsement if Kris receives top surgery. LDS families no longer automatically reject their queer children, but tend to leave the church together if their queer child doesn't feel welcome or safe at church. One last effort to pull membership back occurred in 2015 with a policy against gay couples and their children, and it received a LOT of pushback and generated a wave of members leaving the LDS church.

I think we entered a new era in 2019 as the Handbook policy of 2015 is reversed. In 2020 the now-publicly available Church Handbook softens the approach to gay and bi members but puts in more rules and restrictions of trans members. It's the beginning of a dichotomy where we see progress for people who aren't heterosexual and regression for people who aren't cisgender. In 2024, there are now married gay couples quietly attending church and not being excommunicated (which wasn't a thing even just 2 or 3 years ago), and trans members are facing severe restrictions due to more changes in the Handbook. It's hard not to believe more positive changes for gay and bi members will be coming, even as the church ratchets up its fight against trans members.

[mandarinmoons]

iris by the googoo dolls

Yes, agree with you 100%

[traegics]

♡ ― Mikaelson ball attire: task 002 ― ♡

[ishouldsleepbut]

me: nah, it's about coming out

source of images: https://americansongwriter.com/the-meaning-behind-goo-goo-dolls-iris-song-lyrics/

[thepavementsings-archive]

listening to iris by the googoo dolls thinking about the horrors of suzuka last year...

[findyouthere]

Where is my Wilmon fanvid set to Goo Goo Doll’s “Iris” hmm? Hmm????

[conspiracyofequals]

category five iris by the goo goo dolls listening incident

[dogearedheart]

dude something about iris by the goo goo dolls...

[stinkbeck]

keep trying 2 write this fucking novel but i just stare at it being like "i'm wasting my time on this earth sitting here trying to put my heart and soul on a document people will rip to shreds instead of hanging out with my brother and my parents and my aunt and my friends."

[iamonlyhereforthefreefood]

Iris... is a bop...

[kimetsu-no-yaiba-writings]

Hi! If youre still doing requests, i have kind of an odd ask , but maybe some of the upper moons' reactions to meeting Muzan's wife (reader). I also really like whipped!Muzan so maybe the other demons' reactions to seeing the demon king doting on his wife. Thank you very much :)

Hi Anon! (^○^.) I actually love this request, so thank you for sliding it into my askbox ♥

Honestly I love a powerful man - especially a powerful villain - who's just absolutely in love with their wife (♥ω♥.) and would do anything for them, it just brings me joy.

Anyway! I'm rambling abit, but here is your request! I hope I've done it justice (^ω^.) Please enjoy!

Come again to request whenever you want cause I'm always open.

Muzan Kibutsuji being whipped for his wife + Upper Moons Reactions - Headcannons:

You know those types of men that are just unmovable pillars of stone - who look like they were carved from the finest marble by the hands of angels - who are always impeccably dressed with a voice of icy poison and just command your attention?

Who turn to the softest love-struck mush when with their wife

yeah, that's Muzan Kibutsuji with his wife (aka. you)

The finest meals, clothes and jewelry are yours with a click of his fingers - all done to make you happy, to see you smile

Anything that you mention briefly - doesn't matter if it''s a book or a holiday - its yours by the end of the day

Just one smile and a fluttering of your eyelashes has muzan on his knees - a singular pout of your lips has his mind running wild

You just have to breathe and Muzan's heart squeezes, breath stuttering in his chest as he looks at you in adoration

You could ask for the world and he'd give it too you on a platter

Muzan worships you

Each touch from you is a blessing to his skin

Each kiss sealed into him

Each word of love that falls from your lips make him drunk to hear, each sentence thick with a love that leaves hearts in his eyes and his heart thumping wildly

He wants to wear you like a brand - each mark you leave on him (bite marks and all) are worn with pride - and you (and only you) get to touch and mark his skin in such sensual ways

Under his wedding ring, his finger holds your bite mark, something that he begs you to do each day - with love-struck tears pricking his eyes - and it always makes him feel like he's properly yours

"My Love," He purrs with a voice a think velvet "My wonderful wife, my moon and stars, I love you for ever and always" and he kisses you so softly

Sometimes you have to stop this man from wearing matching clothes with you - "But Beloved,"he whimpers with a face liked a kicked puppy "I want us to match" - because he will absolutely wear a matching couples outfit

Other days he just likes sharing the same colour palette

When you worship him by placing soft kisses to his skin - his wrists, knuckles and faces - Muzan feels like he's on cloud nine

Upper Moons Reactions:

When the upper moons first met you, it was by accident - pure accident -they'd been summoned and it just so happened that it was when muzan was just in the midst of kissing you and bathing you with compliments

Kokushibou doesn't even blink and just stands in position like a trained guard, this sight has been something he's accidentally stumbled upon a couple of times before and honestly it makes him miss his wife

Because this isn't the first time he's met you but rather the fifth, the first actually time he met you, you were incredibly respectful of him and actually treat him nicely - you became tea drinking buddies - so he quickly came to like you

Douma/Doma genuinely shrieks - like an honest to god scream - before quickly going to make fun (not a good idea) about how loving Muzan is and, "Why don't you treat us this way Muzan-sama~ You're breaking my heart~"

Akaza looks away from such an intimate scene with respect since it felt wrong to look upon his lord loving his wife - although his heart does ache for some reason when looking at such a perfect loving scene

Hantengu starts sobbing while apologizing anxiously - actually very jealous at how loving the scene is, he wants a wife and to dote on someone

Gyokko simply proclaims it as artful and simply leaves it as such

Daki Blushes a deep crimson - it makes her want a husband to dote on her so much

While Gyutaro simply sighs before looking away - much like kokushibou and akaza in respect - with jealous crawling up his ribs at such love, he wants somebody to dote on and love him so romantically

[traegics]

Closed Starter - @vilisisms (Aliyah)

"I've lost my mind haven't I," Lorelai questions, frame pacing back and forth within the confines of Aliyah's bedroom, her 2 year old daughter, Olivia, coloring on the floor by the window. "What possessed him to say that I was in love with him? To his face? God, how stupid."

[teaboot]

How do Canadian schools teach about indigenous Canadian history and culture? -a curious USAmerican

In my experience we learned about colonization at the same time as we learned about the formation of Canada. At first it was "European settlers came and pushed out the indigenous population", then in the higher grades we learned more about the how and the why.

For example, how carts full of men with rifles would ride around shooting Buffalo, then leaving the meat on the ground to rot, because "a dead Buffalo is a dead indian", which was so fanatical it almost wiped out wild Buffalo entirely

Also how Canadian settlers were lured in with beautiful hand-painted advertisements for cheap, beautiful, fertile land that was unpopulated and perfect, if only you'd sail over with your entire family and a pocket full of seeds- only to be met with scared, confused, and angry lawful inhabitants already run out of ten other places, and frigid winters, and rocky, forested, undeveloped dirt.

also, smallpox blankets, where "gifts" of blankets infected with smallpox were intentionally given out

And treaty violations- Either ignoring written agreements entirely, or buying them out at insanely low prices and lying about the value, or trading for farming equipment that they couldn't use because they weren't farmers.

Then in the first world war, where they told indigenous peoples here that they'd be granted Canadian citizenship if they enlisted

To Residential schools, which was straight up stealing kids for slavery, indoctrination, and medical experiments

But we also covered the building of the Canadian Railway in which Chinese immigrants were lowered into ravines with dynamite to blow out paths through the mountain for pennies on the dollar

And the Alberta Sterilization Act, where it was lawful and routine procedure to sterilize women of colour and neurodivergent people without their awareness or consent after giving birth or undergoing unrelated surgeries

But I'm rambling.

We kind of learned Aboriginal history at the same time as everything else? Like. This is when Canada was made, and this is how it was done. Now we'll read a book about someone who lived through it, and we'll write a book report. And now a documentary, and now a paper about the documentary. Onto the next unit.

And starting I think in grade 10 our English track was split between English and Aboriginals English, where you could choose to do the standard curriculum or do the same basic knowledge stuff with a focus on Aboriginal perspectives and literature. (I did that one, we read Three Day's Road and Diary Of A Part-Time Indian, and a few other titles I don't remember.)

There was also a lunch room for the Aboriginal Culture Studies where Aboriginal kids could hang out at lunch time if they wanted, full of art and projects and stuff. They'd play music or videos sometimes, that was cool

And one elective I took (not mandatory cirriculum) was a Kwakiutl course for basic Kwakwakaʼwakw language. Greetings, counting to a hundred, learning the modified alphabet, animals, etc. Still comes in handy sometimes at large gatherings cause they usually start with a land recognition thanking whoever's land we're on, with a few thanks and welcomes in their language.

And like- when I was in the US it was so weird, cause here we have Totem poles and longhouses and murals all over and yall... don't? Like there is a very distinct lack of Aboriginal art in your public spaces, at least in the areas I've been

My ex-stepfather, who was American, brought his son out once, and he was so excited to "see real indians" and was legitimately shocked to learn that there weren't many teepees to be found on the northwest coast, and was even *more* shocked when we told him that you have Aboriginal people back home too, bud. Your Aboriginal people are also named "Mike" snd "Vicky" and work as assistant manager at best buy.

If you'd ask me, I'd say that the primary difference is that USAmerica (from what I've seen, and ALSO in entirely too much of Canada) treats our European and Aboriginal conflicts as history, something that's tragic but over, like the extinction of the mammoths, instead of like. An ongoing thing involving people who are alive and numerous and right fucking here

But at the end of the day, I'm white, and there are plenty of actual Aboriginal people who are speaking out and saying much more meaningful things than I can

So I'm just gonna pass on a quote from my Stepmum, who's Cree, that's stuck with me since she said it:

"You see how they treat Mexicans in America? That's how they treat us here. Indians are the Mexicans of Canada."

[luvfy0dor]

Bites or Hickeys? Various x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

Warnings; suggestive, obv biting, hickeys, perhaps ooc,

Fandoms; Bungo Stray Dogs, Death Note, Attack on Titan, Obey Me

A/n; ogs remember when I was purple, but anyways happy 1 year of writing to me!! I'm super proud of my account and I'm so insanely thankful for all the love I've received and acquaintances/friends I've made. Thank you guys so much <3 even tho there have been times where I really thought I'd quit, I kept going and I'm so grateful I did

Bites ★

The feeling of their teeth sinking into your skin makes them feel almost electric, as if a spark has been lit inside their chest and cause an explosion of carnal desire. Some are softer with it, kissing and licking over the imprints of their teeth to soothe the mild pain it might have caused, but others just bite and move on to the next unoccupied spot. They can't help how desperate they are for you and to prove to themselves that they have you, and their affectionate gestures prove that theyre yours. After all, they'd never do the same for anyone else. Ofcourse after the heat of the moment died down, whether they were gentler or rougher earlier, they'd kiss over the indents and whisper soft praises and murmurs about whatever came to mind. Moments like those were their favorites- second to the actual rendezvous, ofcourse.

• RANPO, Dazai, Akutagwa, Kaji, Twain, Sasha, Zeke, Pieck, MELLO, Belphie, Satan, Leviathan

Hickeys ★

They prefer giving hickeys, sometimes because they think it's classier than biting, and others because they don't want to hurt you by biting too hard. They will, however, make you look just as ravaged, littering your pretty skin with dark, organically shaped marks. Their hands pin your wrists above your head while they suck and lick at your neck, humming as if they were enjoying a meal made by a world-class chef. Their eyes would flicker up to meet yours every now and again, lips curling upwards as they shove one of their knees between yours, allowing you to grind against their thigh while they make quick work of undoing your top and belt. They're far more shameless when they're leaving them along your thighs, so shameless that you almost look like you were bruised- no one was going to see them anyways, so why should they be modest? They'd be lying if they said being able to claim you in such a way didnt turn them on. ♡⁠˖

• fyodor, Sigma, Kunikida, Ango, Mori, Fitzgerald, Fukuzawa, Margaret, Poe, Erwin, Mikasa, Reiner, Historia, Lucifer

Both! ★

They simply can't choose, whether adorning your neck and thighs in dark, dotted half-moons or burgundy splotches, they can't get enough of you. They usually leave them in concealed places, but sometimes it's so difficult to not mark you up all over, especially when you're writhing underneath them and clinging to them like a vice because their lips and mouth just feel that good. You'd intertwines your fingers in their hair, pulling them closer or tugging them away when you're lying breathlessly in the wrinkled and messy sheets. They'd ask you if it's too much, rubbing circles into the sides of your hips with a wide, cheeky grin. God, you looked so good underneath them, all bashful and shy with your eyes half lidded and your lips slightly agape. Your labored breaths and quiet sighs were like music to their ears, so really, how could they choose just one when they could give you both and double the fun? ♡⁠˖

• NIKOLAI, Chuuya, yosano, bram, Oda, Atsushi, Lucy, Mushitaro, Tecchou, Tachihara, Eren, jean, Connie, Armin, Hange, maybeee levi, Ymir, Matt, Matsuda, Misa, im torn between both and neither for L, Mammon, Asmo, Beel

Neither ★

They prefer not to leave a physical mark on you, but rather give you a good time to remember them by. A mark will fade quicker than a memory. ♡⁠˖

• Nathaniel Hawthorne, Light, Jouno

A/n: hey chat I didn't realize today was my anniversary so I kinda speedran the characters, it might not be SUIUUPER in character so I'm sorry 😞

[totalswag]

Love your writing! So good!! Could you do one where the reader and Rafe have not been dating for long, only for about two weeks or so, and she is very insecure and doesn´t understand why he ever approached her to ask her out in the first place. She isn´t the most outgoing and thinks she is quite plain looking, comparing herself to all the much prettier girls (in her opinion) at parties that she evidently thinks he will leave her for and so she she starts to distance herself to make it hurt less

unworthy doubts — RAFE CAMERON

authors note first off, thank you so much. you don’t know how much that means to me. to all of you reading this right now; please know how important you're in this world. youre beautiful on the inside and outside in your own unique way 🤍.

summary questioning and comparing yourself to other girls while wondering why your boyfriend, rafe cameron, chose you.

warnings insecure, comparing, mentions of parties, crying, doubt.

Rafe Cameron and you started dating for almost a month; it’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a relationship. Although it’s in the early stages of your relationship, you haven’t felt this way.

However, your insecurities felt like they'd been with you forever.

Rafe's confidence and charisma seemed to effortlessly command whatever room he entered. You felt invisible; blending into the background. Comparing yourself to other girls at parties; pretty smile, makeup, etc.

What could rafe see in you?

The worries had recently gotten stronger, a constant voice in the back of your head. When you saw Rafe taking to someone or laughing too hard at someone’s joke, the voice whispers became louder.

You stood against the railing of Tannyhill watching at the sunset in your own thoughts. The breeze felt nice and it felt like good time to enjoy the moment.

"Hey," Rafe's voice interrupted your thoughts, making you jump slightly. He joined you at the railing with a troubled expression on his face. "You have been quiet recently. Is everything alright?

Rafe noticed your change in attitude in the previous three days. He had asked if everything was fine, but you refused to talk about it. Tonight, he wants answers. He's concerned about you.

You forced a smile, but it did not reach your eyes. "Yeah, I am fine." Just... exhausted, I suppose."

Rafe did not appear convinced. He stretched out and carefully tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "You know you can speak with me, right? If something is bothering you, please let me know.”

Your heart sunk as you heard those words. Deep down, you want to open up to him and express your feelings. You don't want to come across as undesirable and make him think differently of you.

You felt words spilling out, but you remained silent.

"Y/N, I feel like you're pulling away from me." "Is it something I said or did?" He creaked "Please let me know, baby."

"It's not you, Rafe," you eventually confessed, the words rushing out before you could stop them. "It's me." I just don't understand why you chose me. I am not like the other gals. I'm not as attractive, outgoing, or—"

Rafe cut you off, his eyes wide with disbelief. "Is that what you think? That I don't realize how magnificent you are?"

Rafe's thoughts were all over the place. Seeing tears gather in the corner of your eyes caused him to cry.

You shrugged your shoulders, feeling tears form in your eyes, and down your cheeks. Not bothering drying them off.

"It's difficult for me to not to think about that when I'm constantly comparing myself to these girls" you ramble on when Rafe cuts you off.

Rafe approached, holding your face in his hands. "Look at me," he murmured quietly, waiting for you to meet his eyes. "I asked you out because I like who you are. You are nice and intelligent, and you make me laugh like no one else can. You are attractive to me both inside and out. And if you can't see it yet, I'll spend as much time as necessary to show you."

His words struck you like a tsunami, removing any doubts and anxieties that had been building up. You took a nervous breath as tears finally poured over.

You bury your face against his chest, letting out your sobs and putting your arms around his body; Rafe gently strokes your back, rocking you both side to side and whispers nice words into your ear to calm you down. 

"I can't afford to lose you," you whine against his chest.

"Baby, you will not lose me; I will be with you every step of the way," Rafe says before kissing the top of your head several times.

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