#and i don’t think i’m truly going to know peace until we get either a continuation announcement or a final one

[hanzaikyou]

it’s just starting to hit me that, for the foreseeable future at least, morimyu is over.

it’s so odd to me. like… last time, we had the announcement on the last day. we had more to look forward to before we could get sad about what had just ended, so there was never really this limbo that we’re stuck in now.

there’s been no further announcement. totally fine, of course, because that’s not a no, per se… but it’s not exactly confirmation. i hope we might get more, but everything feels so final. a lot of the cast are thanking for a good series, not a good run, and it’s just… i’m scared for this to end.

for now, i wish to thank the cast and crew of morimyu for everything. they put on such a wonderful show that holds such a special place in my heart, and i wish them all the best in future endeavours. perhaps someday, they will make the wind blow in our hearts again.

[allywthsr]

THE CRASH | (l.norris)

summary: Lando and you fight right before the Las Vegas gp, turns out your nerves couldn’t take it after he crashes

wordcount: 2.4k words

pairing: landonorris x fem!reader

warnings: angst, the crash

notes: I loved this idea when I saw it in my inbox and could not not write it. Here it is, what do we think about this??? I hope you like it 🫶🏼 btw, please come talk to me in my inbox, I’m bored🥲

”I can’t believe you right now!“, Lando and you had been fighting all evening over some silly thing. What started as a small joke, turned into a big argument and you didn’t know how or what happened. All you remember was, that Lando had been tense all weekend and was sensitive to certain things, but you didn’t think he was going to explode, so he got all mean and pushy with you because he was truly agitated.

”Y/N, maybe you shouldn’t have begun to talk about this, I need to concentrate on my racing.“

The screaming you both were doing could probably be heard in the motorhome next to you, but you didn’t care. Lando was clearly wrong and he needed to get your point.

”You started this fight, so stop being a child! Just get where I‘m coming from, you‘ve been in a mood all weekend and you let it out on me, you‘ve only looked for a fight so you could let your anger out.“

”That’s not true! You put words in my mouth and twisted them, as always.“

You two rarely fought, but if you did, there was screaming involved.

”If you hadn’t put me on your jpg account from when you took pictures of me while laying in our bed, we wouldn’t be in this position. I clearly told you that I don’t want this, and you went and did it anyway.“

”It’s just a picture!“

”You read the comments, they hate the way I look, and especially in that picture. You promised me it was for your use only, and you betrayed that.“

”You’re making a bigger deal than it is, calm the fuck down.“

”I won’t! I want you to see my point here.“

”You’re not seeing mine either. It’s a stupid picture, you weren’t naked, you weren’t making a stupid face, you were just looking at the camera, without any makeup but you were beautiful, grow the fuck up and get over these comments.“

”Lando I think I’m going to leave, you enjoy your race, I’ll be watching from the garage but we need space from each other right now, or we say things we don’t mean.“

”You can’t just run away from this conversation, you always do that.“

”I can watch me“, and with that, you walked out the door of his driver's room and slammed it on your way out. Several McLaren employees looked at you with big eyes, but you couldn’t take it right now, you needed five minutes in peace, so you could calm down, and think about the fight again.

Just thirty minutes later, you sat in the garage and waited for Lando to get in his car, normally you two would come in together and he would be cuddly with you, kissing and hugging you until it was time to get in his beloved car, but today was different. You came in alone, way before Lando even had to be in the garage to finally get in the car, he was in a mood when Jose tried to talk to him about data, and when he finally walked into the garage to drive to the grid, he stormed right past you, not even looking at you. By then everyone knew something was up, he never hoped in the car without giving you a kiss. Jon gave you a questioning look, but you shrugged your shoulders and mouthed a ’later‘ to him.

You watched on the TV how he got the last definitely needed laps in and then got pushed by his crew to his starting position. This was also a thing that bothered him, P15 wasn’t something he was used to nowadays.

After the anthem, Adam joined you.

”What’s up with him? He‘s been off all weekend.“

”I know, we had a fight right before he had to go and you know how we fight. It happened over this silly thing and now he‘s pissed at me, I couldn’t even say good luck to him.“

You looked at Adam, he knew his son longer than you did, maybe he had an idea how you could solve things.

”Lando’s always been a stubborn kid, give him time and talk to him after the race, I‘m sure he‘s cooled down by then.“

”Maybe you’re right.“

With that you looked at the screen and saw Lando jumping in his car, going through the last things that he wrote down as his notes.

The engines roared and Adam and you put on the headsets, so you could hear what was said over the radio. Lando was driving around the track for the formation lap and stopped when he reached his position. You prayed that the start would be nice to your boy and he would get through without any crashes or touches. Even if you fought, you still wanted him to be careful and not crash.

The start went without any troubles for Lando, and this was the first time that you released a breath. After the start, Jon came over to you, to talk about Lando’s attitude.

”What’s wrong with you two? I’ve never seen you like this before.“

”We don’t fight often, maybe once every two months or something, and normally it happens when we’re home, but today it escalated when we arrived at the track. He posted this picture of me on his jpg account and I overreacted, he promised me that he wouldn’t post it and he still did. So I was a little angry with him when I asked him to delete it, he freaked out.“

”I‘m sure you can solve this after the race, don’t think about it too hard.“

He gave you a quick hug and you kept watching. Now it was lap three and Lando was fighting for every position. Every race was nerve-wracking for you, sure he was a good driver and the car was safe, but still, every time he sat in his car, your heart rate went up a bit, and you were scared that he would crash. With Adam and Jon next to you, you sat on the foldable chair and had your gaze on the many TVs in front of you, when he crossed the line and lap four began.

Adam mumbled something under his breath and you looked at him when you heard everyone around you inhaling their breath. Quickly you looked back at the TV and hoped someone other than Lando had crashed, but when you heard Jose with panic in his voice, asking if he was okay, you knew it was him. You grabbed Adams's arm, to hold onto something while trying to hold back your tears. Fear was written all over your face, and it only got worse when Jose asked a second time if he was fine and Lando pressed the talk button with his shaky hands. The heavy breaths made your heart sink in your stomach, and with the way he pressed the ’all good‘ out, he truly wasn’t all good. What haunted you most were his painful moans afterwards.

This was the worst scenario that could’ve happened, and the fact that it happened in his birthday week and after you two fought, made things only worse. He clearly wasn’t in the right mindset to race, and it was all your fault because you got irritated by the picture and the comments.

”I want to see him!“

”Y/N, calm down, he will probably be taken to the medical center and you know we can’t enter. He‘s fine, you know what he‘s like, he‘s tough.“

You looked back at the screen and saw how he was still sitting in his car, that wasn’t a good sign. Maybe he was too hurt to get out, you couldn’t just leave him alone in the medical center. With careful movements, he finally pushed himself out of his car, but he was slower than usual, he had to be in pain.

”I‘ll run to the medical center, I’m his performance coach, no one knows his body better than I do. At least in the medical areas, I can update you.“

You nodded continuously and pushed Jon slightly towards the exit of the garage. Now you were crying, it was all your fault, you turned away from any cameras and the big opening of the garage, so no one could picture you ugly sobbing. This was a way of crying that wasn’t pretty and not meant for anyone except you, and maybe Lando to see. Quickly Adam pulled you in tight for a hug, he was shaking himself, and you both needed comfort right now. His phone started ringing and you hoped it was Jon, but it was Cisca, she wanted to know if you knew anything about Lando’s health, but you didn’t and it freaked you out.

His arms could be broken and you wouldn’t know, if you wouldn’t see him soon, you would go crazy. After long fifteen minutes of walking up and down through the garage, finally, an incoming call from Jon lit up your phone.

”Jon, how is he?“

”He‘s okay, a bit shaken up and his whole body hurts a little from the impact, but he‘ll be fine. They want to take him to an actual hospital to scan him, to rule out any internal injuries.“

”I want to come!“

”Y/N, you can’t. It’s better if you wait for him in the hospitality, he needs rest.“

”No, Jon, I need to see him“, the tears were streaming down your face again, at the thought that you can’t be by his side right now.

”We’re already in an ambulance and on our way to the next hospital, we can’t fetch you.“

”I‘ll get a car.“

”You won’t see him, even if you come, he‘ll be in the scan and we can’t join him there. I‘m with him, he‘s not alone, I‘ll send you a picture.“

”Let me talk to him.“

”His arms are trapped under a blanket, and he got some medication to hide the pain a little, he‘s drugged up and talking nonsense. He wouldn’t get what you’re saying anyway.“

”Is that even safe?“

”Yes“, he chuckled, ”He‘s alright, don’t worry. The scan is just a precaution thing, we should be out in at least two hours.“

With a heavy breath, you accepted that you couldn’t see him in person right now.

”But please send me a picture of him, and tell him I love him.“

”Will do, and you’re going to calm down, he’s fine.“

”I‘ll try, thank you, Jon.“

You turned to Adam and quickly talked him through what Jon told you, before calling Cisca and telling her the same.

Two hours later…

You just received a text from Jon, telling you they are in a car right now, that‘ll take them to the track. Impatiently you sat in the hospitality and waited for Lando to walk through the door, and when you saw him opening the glass door, you were crying again. The way the jacket was way too big for him, and his overall was hanging on his hips, made your heart clench, your poor boy. You ran towards him and hugged him tightly, while still being careful that you weren’t hurting him. He grabbed your hand and pulled you to his driver's room, where you were hugging once again.

You pulled out of the hug and put your hands on his cheeks.

”I am so so sorry that I overreacted with the picture, just because of me, you weren’t focused and lost the car to that bump. I will never fight with you ever again.“

Lando used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the salty tears, that escaped your eye.

”It’s not your fault, fight or not, the bump would’ve been there and I would’ve lost control. I‘m okay, yeah? You don’t need to worry anymore, and you definitely need to stop crying, because there is nothing to cry about.“

”Do you forgive me?“

”Of course, it’s all forgotten, I shouldn’t have posted the picture, and I‘m truly sorry. I‘ll delete it once I have my phone.“

”No don’t do that“, you put your head against his chest and breathed in his scent, Lando was closing his arms around your shoulders and touched the back of your head. Featherlight kisses were placed on the side of your head, and you two enjoyed the silence.

A knock interrupted you two and Adam was standing in the door, he tightly hugged his son as well and kissed his cheek.

”You should call your mum, she‘s worried sick.“

Lando nodded and grabbed your phone that you held out before dialing the number of his mum. After the quick talk, Cisca was reassured her son was fine and Lando wanted to go to the debrief. With his hospital bracelet, still on his wrist, he sat there like he didn’t just crash.

He was professional after all.

Until you returned to the hotel, you waited with Adam and Jon in the hospitality for Lando to finish his meetings, and when he did, Jon drove you safely back to the hotel, where you took care of Lando, so he was back on track for the last race.

taglist: @millinorrizz @jamieeboulos @loxbbg

[targaryenluvs]

YOURS TRULY

pairings: dark!luke castellan x fem!reader, dark!percy jackson x fem!reader

summary: with one demi-god on your tail, you try your hardest to make your escape. but with two? they’re both no where near willing to let you go.

warnings: obsession, possession, stalking, implied kidnapping, sexual implications

a/n: look who decided to write again!

Icons not mine, credits to the owner!

it wasn’t hard for him to find you again. a given, he would track you down to the ends of tartarus as long as you wound up where you were meant to be.

by his side.

at first he’d been disappointed in himself when he fell for you. luke thought himself above that, thinking that he’d devoted himself entirely to his cause. but maybe being around so many kids for so many years caused him to soften in places unknown.

because when you’d limped into camp, collapsing in the strawberry fields and sending the the place into a tailspin, he found an eerie sense of peace with you. the words and thoughts in his heads were drowned out the second you looked up at him.

“it’s- it keeps- it’s chasing me.” his hand came down to your stomach, a lash ran across. not too deep, barely half a centimetre perhaps less. luke immediately picked up his sword in defence of you, waiting for the monster to show. meanwhile the other kids were either running for chiron and mr d or gearing up themselves.

there was no way they were missing the chance for kleos.

but the monster was already subdued, as percy walked out dragging a head along with him. “order to go?” you couldn’t help the smile that came across your face at his words. but luke didn’t like it, how the hell had percy beaten him to it?

over the next few months you found yourself in between the two of them, fighting for your attention. even if it was just for a minute. during the capture the flag you found yourself rotating teams every time since apparently the other promised victory every time. but you knew if you only focused on one of them the other would be angry.

everyone else at camp found it hilarious. two of the most well known campers competing for someone who apparently couldn’t care less. you just wanted to be at camp with your friends.

but what you didn’t know was that they were actively working against each other.

“nice sword skills jackson, a scarecrow teach you?” luke laughed as percy sighed, “your insults are weak castellan, so are your own skills.” luke raised his eyebrows, he was one of the best swordsman around in a long time. they both were one of few who saw the real sides to them, the jealousy and the arrogance. all because of you.

it got so intense to the point that you knew you needed to run. they were hurting eachother constantly, all for your approval, and even threatening your own siblings at times. to the point where they slowly began to distance themselves when the two were around. whether they’re excusing themselves for the bathrooms or just blatantly upping and leaving.

“hey y/n, how are you?” your spoon froze mid air as you heard percy’s voice, a quick glance at your siblings and you could see the fear. “guys, you mind giving us a second?” all your sibling at the table were younger than you and more than happy to leave, “i’m doing fine jackson. you?” you couldn’t be any shorter with him yet he always engaged himself in conversations with you. even when you were clearly uninterested.

“i’m doing amazing, now that i’m talking to you.” you flashed him a smile before getting up with your tray, “that’s nice, i’ll see you around.”

percy watched as you walked away, until he heard the voice he dreaded. “left alone are we?” luke joked whilst sitting down in the spot you’d occupied not too long ago. “shut up. she barely talks to you.” luke smiled, “well, when she’s with me we don’t do a lot of talking.” if looks could kill, luke would be a goner. “stop it.”

“bet i could catch her before you.”

“you’re slower than me let’s be realistic jackson.”’

“you wanna bet?”

and that’s exactly how you ended up here, knee-deep in the creek with either boy on each side of you. “will you just leave me alone? what is wrong with you!” luke’s face was cold, his grip on his sword was more than enough to make your heart race. “just come out and let me talk to you.” you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at percy’s words, “why would i? it looks like you wanna kill me!”

“no!” luke’s shouting caused you to stumble back, “i mean— i would never hurt you.” he took a step forwards as you pointed your spear, “stay back!” unfortunately, you’d been so busy fending off luke you’d forgotten about percy to your left. you screamed at the top of your lungs when his arms came around you.

“hey, quit it.” luke whispered as his hand came over your mouth. “i don’t want to hurt you.” you’d be damned if you went quietly, so you shook and writhed. trying your hardest to get away, and luke had a short temper when it came to you. his sword came across your head, knocking you out cold. “what the hell!” percy yelled as you went limp in his arms. “she’ll be fine, now let’s get going.”

as they walked with you, either one couldn’t help but think, when they’d get rid of the other.

[vrisrezis]

Comfort with atsv characters <3

Warnings?: reader is Latino/Latina, reader is a spider person, can you tell I wrote this at like 2 AM? (Spoilers for atsv). Is it obvious I don’t read the comics based off of hobie and pav? Also all the spiders are able to understand Spanish so 👍🏾 reader is hinted to be bisexual in Peter B’s (they also cannot have children), reader isn’t gendered but in Jessica’s they certainly are not a male,

Gwen is quiet, but you allow it. Miguel didn’t tell you much of what happened in Gwen’s dimension, but it clearly bothered her, whatever it was. It was just one of those very nights where she was bothered about her situation. She didn’t ever talk about it, rather she just sat in silence for awhile and then you’d make her some tea in hopes of easing any nerves or pain. She felt bad crashing at your place all the time like this, so much so she tried bothering hobie every once in awhile so that her staying at your home wasn’t as constant. You tried to remind her that this is what partners do, they look out for eachother when they need it the most. Staying at eachothers places when one of them is pretty much homeless is included in that.

Honestly though? Selfishly she enjoyed it. Maybe it was because she simply enjoyed your company, or because you were sweet enough to let her share a bed with you and she got to watch you sleep. She got to see all your features up close in your most peaceful moments. But of course, she missed her home. She missed her dad. She missed when things didn’t suck. She missed Peter too.

You’re both on the roof of your house. She’s thinking about things, deeply. She thinks about her life, her place in the world, She almost starts to cry, but she’s still holding back, holding back as much as she possibly can right now. It’s the first time you see her like this, and you feel relieved. You’re relieved because you know she’s been going through so much, but has been trying so hard to keep it inside.

“Mi amor, por favor, no reprimas tus sentimientos. Está bien llorar, somos tú y yo.” you say, putting your hand on her shoulder to comfort her. Not wanting to be too intimate in case she became uncomfortable in such a state. But you don’t have to worry as she grabs the hand on her shoulder and intertwines your fingers.

She finally allows her tears to flow. More then flow, they stream down like a ocean of tears. In the midst of it, she hugs you and you hug her back. Pulling her into your chest and she can’t help but feel safe in your arms.

“I’m so sorry.” she says in between sobs

“Don’t be. Te Amo. I will always be here for you, yknow? No need to hold back for me.”

Miles puts his head on your shoulder. He’s quiet, and unsure what he should say next. But you don’t say anything, and you decide he should be the one to speak first. He wraps his arms around your middle, and you change positions so his cheek is smushed on your chest now, your arms wrap around his waist. You could fall asleep like this, but you’re determined to stay up until miles tells you what’s on his mind. Even if you already know, he should let it out and talk about it. He always ends up telling you what’s bothering him, he’s practically an open book. At least in your mind, though you do suppose he is good at keeping secrets from others. Not the point though, you were there when it all transpired. You know what he’s upset about.

“How are we gonna get home?” miles finally asks, confirming your suspicions. He truly had no idea what he was doing, and what either of you were going to do. You’re both stuck in the wrong dimension with no way to get home. “How am I gonna save my dad?” he wonders aloud. You’re not sure yourself, you opt for one of your hands reaching for his back and rubbing his back in a circular motion as a means to comfort him.

“I don’t know.” you admit, but you continue before he could say anything, “but what I do know, is that you can do anything. Even the impossible. Eres el hombre más increíble que conozco. You’ll figure it out.”

miles shakily sighs, “I don’t know.” he says, so unsure of himself. “You don’t have to.” you say, “give yourself a moment. Recollect yourself. Cry if you need. Te protegeré.”

He truly doesn’t know how to thank you for everything you’ve done for him, continue to do for him. The support and love you’ve always given him, the advice you’ve given him, he knows there’s truly nobody quite like you.

There’s a moment of silence between you and hobie. While this wasn’t exactly an uncommon occurrence when the two of you just chilling out, this time felt very different. Instead of a rather calm and tired expression at this time of night he seemed so defeated, though that tiredness seemed more like exhaustion. And you come to the conclusion a canon event had to have happened for him to wear such a sad expression. It was only recently he had taken upon the role as spiderman in his dimension, or as everyone called him, spiderpunk. You know the whole spider thing is new to him, how stressful it can be to be on your own like this. You’ve been there too, and not that long ago. In your dimension you’ve only been a spider person for a couple months.

You stand up from your place on the couch, walking up to him. You want to feign surprise, not knowing what’s happening. But you know. And you know that he knows, as he always does. Spider people typically aren’t good at lying. “You know, dontcha.” he simple says, voice rather quiet for somebody like him. “Yeah.” you eventually say, “it happens to all of us.” you admit. “For Miguel it was his wife, his daughter. For Peter it was his uncle. For me it was my mother. This is just.. part of the course.” you say, as if it’s just something to shrug off. Hobie can’t help but feel sick to his stomach upon you doing that, cause it doesn’t feel like the you he knows. The you he knows wouldn’t stand for some… cycle, some faux destiny. It’s not like you to just give up and treat something like this as just… it.

But he’s too upset to press you about it, so he rests his forehead on your shoulder and no longer says any words. You wrap your arms around him in an embrace and he allows it. “I know you probably have a lot of questions.” you say, and he’s always taken aback at how you’re the only person he’s ever met that can read him like a book. Then again, spider people are not good liars.

“For now, what I’ll tell you is this.” you start, “you’re going to lose people. It’s going to happen if you continue this line of work. The hard lesson to learn about this job is that we can’t save everyone. At least, not alone.” you continue, “but together, we can.” you say, and upon these words he feels a bit more relieved that you hadn’t fallen down some algorithm. You haven’t given up nor are you falling in line with some dumbass rules Miguel has set up.

“I can’t exactly provide you the best advice.” you admit, “pero siempre estaré aquí apoyándote. Puedes contar con ello.” you say, and hobie smiles for the first time that day.

Pavitr has never been like this, but it’s to be expected. At least, in your mind.

He clutches you like a lifeline, and if it weren’t for your super amazing spider strength you think you’d be in a ton of pain right now with the way pav is holding onto you.

You’re not even the one that nearly died. Pav nearly lost his best friend, gayatri as well as her father who also seemed to mean a lot to him. You don’t know much about him and singhs relationship, but you know it’s rather complex. Pretty hard on Pav and his friendship with his daughter, assuming they have a romantic relationship or something along the line. But this very man seems to adore Spider-Man. So naturally, complicated. But didn’t change the fact he meant a lot to Pavitr. He almost lost him. He almost lost two important people in his life. And if he almost lost them, could he have lost you?

He tries to reason with himself, you’re strong and can handle yourself fine but what if…?

“¡Basta!” you say, and it’s the first time he’s ever heard you yell at him. Because of this it’s quick to snap him out of the daze he seemed to be in. He can’t help but let a few tears slip out. You put your hands on his cheeks, worry seeping through your eyes. “Odio cuando haces eso. No me va a pasar nada, cariño. Puedo protegerme así que no te atrevas a preocuparte por mí.”

You wipe away his tears with your thumbs. “Mi amor, we’re gonna be okay.”

Peter sighs, and from that moment you know somethings wrong. You’ve known this Peter in particular a long time, there’s something obviously weighing on him. It certainly helps you’ve gotten to know so many versions of him, so many peters and so many of them are horrible liars. He is no exception.

You can’t help but wonder if it’s MJ related, which tugs are your heartstrings a bit. But you understand him, he lost his love. His first love in fact, and he’s not willing to let her go. You understand. You remember your first love, Gwen. Just a pretty blonde in your science class, but you fell hard. And so did she. To her death, that is.

You sit next to him on the balcony, “wanna talk about it?” you offer, and he can’t help the sigh that escapes him. “I don’t know.” he admits, but as soon as he says that he feels himself leaning on you.

“Have you ever thought of becoming a parent?” he asks, and you can’t help but be surprised by his question.

Now it’s your turn to sigh. “Yeah, I suppose.” you shrug, “not that I’d be able to have one, but yeah.”

“Really?” he wonders, and you nod. “Both me and Gwen, at least in my dimension, were physically unable to have kids. The same went for me and my own Peter.” you shrug, “not that I was interested at the time though. It’s moreso a ‘what if I could’ situation.”

“I want a kid.” he admits.

“So did MJ, and she still wants a kid.”

You feel your heart sink for a moment, before deciding it was his time of need, not yours. You’re both far too old for shit like this. You’ll move on. Like you always do.

“I could give her what she wants.” he continues.

“But I don’t know if… I can? I guess?”

“What do you mean?” You inquire.

“It’s a lot of things. I mean, what if I’m a bad dad? What if I’m not there enough? And besides that point, even if I do go through with this, the kid would have to deal with having parents that aren’t even together.”

It takes a minute for you to process his words, especially the last part. “Wait… why wouldn’t you two be together?” he shrugs, “because she deserves better.” he says, but it doesn’t seem like the full truth. “And besides I wanna be with somebody else.”

He tries to be subtle with his next words, “they can’t have kids, so I think this is a next best option. At least, when I’m ready and they’re ready and we’ve been dating long enough where it wouldn’t be weird to ask.”

You can’t help but wonder if it’s you he’s talking about.

But for the time being, you ignore it and put an arm around his shoulder, “Pues deja de preocuparte. Serías un gran padre.”

he cracks a smile and thanks you.

Jessica is always well put together, it’s something you’ve always known about her. But there’s something off about her.

You think you know what’s up, but you know better than to think you know everything going on with Jess. She’s not exactly an open book, only is when she wants to be.

She kept a lot of her personal life away from you, as a means to protect you from that. Either that or she wanted her privacy, which you also understood.

It wasn’t uncommon for her to touch her stomach, admire it, the excitement of a new life was adorable in your eyes. But her relationship with her husband was something she never relayed to you, she never talked about him and if she ever did it was briefly. A part of you wondered if it was because she knew how you felt and wanted to spare you. A part of you hoped that was all it was, and that there was nothing else going on.

But you’d be wrong, as you often were.

She lets a few tears shed, and it’s the first time you’ve seen her cry.

“I don’t think I love him anymore.” she finally admits, and you have a feeling it’s the first time she’s admitted this to anyone, even herself.

“I don’t think I ever did.”

“I don’t even think I like men, period.”

And this puts you into a even bigger state of shock, woah.

“I think I just wanted a baby.” she continues, “and it didn’t matter who it was with as long as I got one.”

“I thought, it was because I loved him so much I wanted to start a family but…” she turns her head away from you, “I don’t think I ever felt a damn thing for him and I’m scared and I feel so guilty.”

All you can do is wrap a comforting arm around her,

“No pasa nada. Siempre estaré aquí Jessica, lo sabes. Podemos resolver las cosas juntos.”

she leans into you despite her mind telling her to pull away, don’t be soft, don’t give in.

But she does.

She gives in to her deepest desire.

She gives into you.

Miguel is never this clingy. Something is wrong, and you feel it. It’s not just his aura, it’s his body language. It’s the fact that his face is shoved into your stomach, desperate for you to not only not hear him at all, but not see him. You feel his sorrow, his shame, his guilt, his anguish. But most of all you feel his regret and his grief and you automatically know what’s wrong.

You run your fingers through his hair, something he normally hated but in times like these truly loved more than anything and it calmed him down so quickly. He still doesn’t know how you do it, honestly. You make him putty in his hands without even trying and honestly that terrified him. To be so weak, so soft, when it comes to you.

“Vamos, cariño.” you say, “let me see you.”

He’s not quick to comply, but he eventually does with enough head scratching. You sigh at how distraught he looks. You hate this, you really do. You hate seeing him upset, that one injury of yours could send him spiraling like this.

“No voy a morir tan fácilmente, sabes. Ten un poco de fe en mí, ¿quieres?”

“Lo sé.” he replies, shakily.

“I’m just scared of losing you too.”

You kiss the crown of his head, “I know. But trust me when I say a little injury is not going to kill me. I’ll be okay.” you try to reassure him.

He nods, but you have a feeling he doesn’t believe you.

Even after all these years, you don’t know how to help him.

[tsunami-of-tears]

A Court of Shadows and Sunshine — Part Nine

Azriel x Aurora (OC)

Summary: Cute mating bond fluff and chafing. Most filler chapter. 

A/N: SHE’S BACK!! Sorry for the hiatus - I’ve been struggling since the holidays. It’s been hard to get back into it, I lost my uncle recently so I think there will be some self-insert to come.

Wordcount: 900 

Warnings: Fluff, slight angst/pining, sexual themes

Part Eight

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧

Azriel

It’s just past dawn when Azriel slips back into bed, the dim morning sun illuminates the room in a hazy glow. Aurora stirs, reaching out for him. 

“Where’d you go?” she asks sleepily.

Azriel sinks into the warmth and wraps his arms and wings around Aurora - in both protection and comfort. “I had some business to attend to, I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.”

Aurora gently grabs Azriel’s bandaged hand. “Who did you beat up?” she questions, turning her head to look into his eyes. 

“No one that didn’t deserve it,” Azriel answers, kissing Aurora tenderly on her forehead.

Aurora sighs, relaxing further into Azriel’s chest. “Are we training with the others today?”

“I planned to give you some time off, I don’t want you to push yourself.”

“I know, but it gives me something to focus on. It helps to channel everything more healthily.” 

Azriel rests his chin against the top of Aurora’s head and sighs deeply. He completely understands where she’s coming from, but in the same breath - his protective instincts were firing and he didn’t want to put her at risk. 

“How about we train together, just the two of us? That way, you won’t lose any progress and I won’t worry so much.”

“Okay, deal,” Aurora agrees.

———— 

The next few days were like a dream. 

No, they were better than anything Azriel could have dreamed up. He had his mate, and she was everything and more than he’d ever hoped for. 

Their days were split between exercising and lounging around together - either chatting or simply enjoying each other’s presence. 

Azriel taught Aurora new fighting techniques and after, she taught him new yoga poses. 

With all the training, Azriel was working one muscle harder than the rest - his self-control. 

Gods…

The way she moved, how she looked up at him with those big beautiful eyes and that innocent little smile. 

Azriel had never yearned for someone like this. 

Still, there was one thought that played over and over in his mind. ‘It could have been worse.’

Azriel guessed what Aurora meant by that, but he wasn’t sure Prythian would still exist if his worst fears were confirmed. 

Regardless of that glowing thread and the tug in his chest, Azriel would wait for Aurora to make the first move. He’d rather go without those touches forever than push her too far, away from him.

———— 

Aurora 

Ever since the mating bond snapped into place, Azriel had barely left your side. And, he’d never pushed for more intimacy than you were ready for. You truly didn’t understand how you got so lucky, but you thanked the Cauldron every day.

Helion, your uncle, was staying in Velaris to assist in your magic training, alongside Rhys and Amren. 

It was strange to spend time with Helion knowing the truth of your heritage, you wondered how you never noticed the resemblance. It seemed so obvious now. It was bittersweet - you were grateful to have him in your life again but it made you wish you’d had more time with both of your parents.

Once you understood how your powers worked and what they could do beyond creating light - it was much easier to start to harness them. It wasn’t long until you were breaking small wards created by your High Lord and his Second. 

As well as spell-cleaving, you discovered your magic made a great shield - one that could protect you from even the harsh blast of a Siphon. With your budding confidence and your growing grasp of your powers - everyone agreed it was time to rejoin Valkyrie training. 

———— 

Despite the cold wind rushing around you, you felt warm and at peace. You always did with Azriel. In his arms, you soar above Velaris, making your way to the House of Wind for training. Your first training session with the group since the bond snapped.

You hadn’t seen much of Cassian or Nesta in that time, and you were worried they’d been avoiding you since you revealed your powers. 

That worry faded quickly, as you’re met with big smiles from everyone. 

Cassian steps forward, moving closer to you and Azriel. “Good to see you, Rory. Let’s see if you’ve kept Az in shape.” Cassian smirks at you and playfully slaps Azriel on the chest. Azriel straightens his back and his wings flare slightly, making him appear even taller. 

You glance between the males, and you scrunch your nose, slightly confused. “What do you mean?” You question. “We’ve been training every day.” 

“Training eh, is that what you call it?” Cassian chuckles. 

Wings flare, and glowing beams of red and blue flash in front of you. The movement stops as Azriel pins Cassian to the ground on his back. Cassian raises his hands, conceding defeat. “I’m sorry Az, chafing much?” he laughs.

Azriel glares as he offers Cassian his hand, helping him to his feet.

From beside you, Nesta rolls her eyes and crosses her arms across her chest. “Illyrian brutes,” she mutters.

Cassian turns to address the group, “Okay, let's warm up and then Rory, you can show us what you’ve learnt in your special training.” One glance at Azriel’s face has Cassian backtracking and raising his palms again, “Oh no, Az, I meant the training with Helion. I promise I won’t joke again.” 

The remark makes Nesta scoff, and the pair begin bickering. You smile softly and look up at your mate. Love pours down the bond in both directions. It took a while, but you’ve finally found your family. Both of you have.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧

Tags ♡ @mis-lil-red

Part Ten

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Wildest dreams, pt. 26

Summary: Y/N and Paul come to lunch at the Cullen’s house. 

Warnings: angst, fluff, sexual innuendos, swearing, talking about death

Wildest Dreams Masterlist

————————————

Parking in front of the Cullen’s house, Y/N gulps at the sight. The house is three stories tall with a wraparound porch, and large windows reflecting the sunlight. It’s a mansion compared to the houses in La Push; a very well-kept, modern mansion.

“We should probably go”, Paul’s the first one to speak. “They’re likely wondering why we’re sitting here and just staring at the house.”

“You think they’re watching us?”

“And listening”, Paul states before continuing with a smile. “So I want Rosalie to know that I come in peace and to not put any glass into my salad.”

Y/N raises her brows. “Huh?”

“She broke a glass bowl filled with salad when Bella first came to meet the family.”

“By accident?” Y/N asks with a slight frown but her eyes were reflecting the confusion while attempting to hide an inkling of panic her heart rate is betraying.

“Jacob said Bella came over AFTER eating a full course meal, unaware the Cullens spent all day prepping a lunch for her.”

“Is that why you didn’t let me eat anything today?!”

Shrugging, Paul smirks. “Just making sure we don’t have a repeat.”

With a wry smile, Y/N nods before taking a deep breath. 

‘How bad can they be?’ She thought. ‘They don’t feed on humans, only on Bambi. Don’t think about that! Ughhh, now I won’t be able to stop thinking about dead deer moms!’

Walking out, she huffs as Paul steps beside her, offering his hand for her to take. His grin isn’t helping ease her nerves either. When she came to him with news of the brunch invite, she didn’t expect him to accept. In fact, Y/N hoped he’d fight her on it until they both eventually agreed on a polite note declining the invitation. 

“Yes”, Paul answers almost instantly, eagerly even. 

“Yes?”

“Mhmm”, he spits out the toothpaste foam, opening the faucet. “Did you expect a different answer or something?” 

Snorting, she shakes her head slowly. “No?”

Washing off the remains of toothpaste from the sink, Paul closes the tap and wipes his mouth with a towel. “Is that a yes or a no?” Flashing his freshly cleaned pearly whites, Paul raises his brows at the way her heart skipped a beat from such a simple, everyday thing. It’s an ego boost to have her heart’s confirmation she truly does love him.

Frowning, she pouts. “I don’t understand. I thought you didn’t like the Cullens?” 

Heading back to the bedroom, Paul runs his fingers through his damp hair. “No. Not really. Their smell is a bit difficult to stand, but we’re good.”

“Since when?!”

“Since the almost battle that never happened”, Paul reminds her.

Swallowing thickly, Y/N sits on the bed, giving Paul a quick look over before setting her gaze back on his shit-eating grin. He knows exactly what he’s doing to her and he’s reveling in it.

“You mean the almost battle in which one of the Cullens said you’d have died? That one?”

Paul’s smile disappears as he nods curtly. “But it didn’t happen and I’m here.”

“Yes, but it makes me anxious, okay? You being around them, especially if the Volturi are setting their sights on them again…just feels dangerous.”

“For you”, Paul reminds her. “I’m not the one we have to worry about.”

“So why are we accepting this invite?”

Sighing, Paul kneels before her, his hands resting on her thighs firmly. “Because if there’s a shit-storm coming our way, it will come with or without their presence. This way we have a powerful ally that can help.”

“Or they’re the catalyst of everything you’ve been so terrified of”, she argues.

“Our lands have always drawn the supernatural. If it’s not them, something else would be a catalyst and I feel safer knowing they’re closer to us.”

Furrowing her eyebrows, she bites her lower lip. “Because if I do get mortally wounded, they’d be there to turn me into one of their own?”

“I didn’t say that”, Paul states firmly. 

“I already told you I don’t want to be a vampire”, Y/N presses her lips in a thin line. 

“And I didn’t say I’d do anything to disrespect your wishes.”

“I can see it in your eyes, Paul. I might not be able to listen to your heartbeat or sense your pheromones or whatever you do to figure me out, but your eyes are incapable of lying.” Rubbing her nose, she looks away. There’s a lump building at the back of her throat and she feels like she’s losing her mind, but she can’t stop thinking turning her into a vampire would be the worst idea Paul’s ever had. 

But Paul doesn’t want to lose her. He doesn’t want to wake up without her by his side nor go to bed knowing she’s not following soon behind. He needs more time, a lifetime. How can she hear him cry when he dreams of her death and not choose to do anything to prevent inflicting that pain on him? 

“Alright, I was considering it,” Paul admits, shamefully lowering his gaze as she turns her eyes onto him once more. “I don’t want to do something you’re against, but I am begging you to at least not be so definitive about it.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you”, she whimpers. “But every cell in my body is quivering with the mere thought of agreeing to it.”

“At least think about it? Ask Bella and the rest of them about how it was for them and then make a choice. I’ll respect it, but only if you do this for me. Please do this for me”, Paul begs, his eyes brimming with tears, crumbling to pieces in front of her and she can’t ignore it.

“Ok”, she swallows the lump at the back of her throat but a new one forms, quickly replacing it.

“OK?”

Nodding, she manages a meek smile for his benefit. “We can go and I’ll talk to them and I won’t hastily disagree anymore.”

Walking across the porch to the front door, Y/N grips Paul’s hand tighter. She doesn’t get a chance to knock as the door swings open and Jacob’s grin meets her. 

“Thought you’d turn around and run”, he cackles before stealing Y/N away from Paul.

Wide-eyed she looks to her imprint as Jacob’s arms wrap around her, half hugging and half carrying her into the house.

Once her feet find the ground once again, she turns around only to find a group of deathly pale people staring at her intently. They’re smiling, but despite the alluring tone their welcoming smiles are meant to set, it sends chills down Y/N’s spine.

Intimidating isn't the right word for how she'd describe the sight before her. While Renesmee possesses an inhuman beauty, it cannot compare to the rest of her family. She only ever saw Edward in passing, once, and that was enough to suspect him of being a genetically engineered specimen, now she knows the truth to be far more sinister. 

Frightening is a better term to use, like standing in front of art come to life, as if the greatest of ancient sculptures have gained consciousness and a thirst for blood.

'They drink animal blood', Y/N reminds herself. 'But nothing stops them from changing their mind at any moment. I certainly can't and Paul would die trying.'

Noticing Edward's eyebrows furrow, she purses her lips. 

'You're the mind reader', she nods curtly. He returns the gesture with a slight smile. 

"Welcome", a petite woman with caramel brown hair and a kind smile greets them, gently shaking Y/N’s hand moments after peeling away from the handsome, very tall blond-haired man standing in the front of the group. 

Gulping, Y/N feels her heart skip a beat with the sudden movement and cold touch. It’s like shaking hands with marble floors, yet the woman’s smile is warmer than her touch. Despite it, Y/N can’t help the way her entire body tenses up, clenching her jaw to stop her lips from trembling in fear.

“I think we should give our guest time to adjust”, the man places his hand on the kind woman’s shoulder and she steps back. 

Esme and Carlisle from what Y/N can remember. No one showed her photos, but Jacob and Paul had an abundance of choice words describing the family to prepare her…Well, they did a shit job. No one prepared her for how stuffy the air is nor how all of her primal instincts are screaming at her to run and hide, indicating danger.

‘Carlisle is a doctor too and Paul said he’s a good man’, she notes as she feels a wave of calm wash over her. Furrowing her brows, she glances at Paul. “I feel weird”, she says quietly, forgetting everyone else can hear her. 

“That’s probably Jasper”, Bella smirks as she looks toward the guy on her left. He’s tall, as well, probably a foot taller than Y/N and his honey-blond hair is longer, neatly pulled back to fully reveal his pale face. Somehow his golden eyes are lighter, and more prominent than others, reminding her of honey in the sunshine. “He can manipulate emotions”, Bella explains.

Pursing her lips, Y/N nods. “Do you do that on purpose or is it like a reflex where certain emotions violently affect you and you’re forced to react to ease it for your own sanity?”

Raising his brows, Jasper’s lopsided smile lights up his face. He’s probably the most handsome of them all when he smiles, Y/N decides while thanking God Paul can’t read her mind. 

“Both, I suppose,” Jasper answers, his voice laced with a subtle Southern accent. “I can stop”, he offers sweetly.

“I actually appreciate it”, Y/N smiles lightly. “Truth be told I’m nervous as hell and perhaps scared to a degree. I’ve gotten used to fur and claws, but this is a whole other thing.”

“I felt the same way”, Jacob reassures her. “But you’re safe here.”

“The only one who didn’t feel that way is Bella, but she’s always been a little out there”, the large man with a Barbie on his arm snickers before giving Y/N a playful wave. “We get it...Just don’t bleed in the house and you’ll probably walk away with a full belly and no incidents.”

“Emmett!” Bella warns, her eyes narrowing at the burly man who simply shrugs before smiling at Y/N, showing his dimples.

‘How does a vampire even have dimples?!’

“I’m being honest, which I’m sure you prefer.” Giving Y/N a pointed look, his smile widens.

Nodding once, Y/N blinks fast. Biting her lip, she looks at Jasper. “I might need to stay closer to you today. Is there a perimeter in which you operate or can you manipulate emotions anywhere in the house?”

Barking out a laugh, Emmett places a hand over his chest. “She thinks you’re an emotional Wi-Fi router!”

Blush adorns Y/N’s cheeks as embarrassment floods her senses only to find it dispersed as quickly as Emmett caused it. “Thank you”, she mouths to Jasper before looking at the only two she hasn’t spoken to.

“You’re Rosalie”, Y/N focuses on the astonishing woman by Emmett. Her wavy blonde hair is fixed up in a bun, revealing her long, elegant neck and her golden eyes are slightly darker than the rest of the family, making Y/N slightly more nervous. 

“And you’re Y/N”, Rosalie forces a smile. “Who hasn’t eaten all day, right?” Raising her perfectly arched eyebrows, Rosalie glances at Paul who nods eagerly.

“As promised, she had nothing to eat. Not even breakfast.” Paul grins, resting his hands on Y/N’s shoulders for support. He’s aware she’s probably freaking out now, but his best chance at convincing her to stay is to let the Cullens do what they do best: schmooze her into loving them as they did with most of the pack. 

Finally, Y/N redirects her gaze to the only one of the bunch who she can feel taller than. “Alice, I presume”, she says with a cautious smile as the vampire’s big eyes widen in excitement. 

“You’d be right”, Alice heads toward her but pauses when Y/N releases a quiet, barely audible gasp. “Sorry, I forgot to slow down”, she giggles. “I do that sometimes, but I’m harmless. Just ask Bella!”

Making eye contact with Bella who chuckles, Y/N sighs. “Friend shaped...got it!” Leaning into Paul, Y/N licks her lips wondering if she should ask outright or wait till they’ve eaten. “So, you can see the future, huh?”

‘Patience was never my stronger suit.’

“Versions of the future”, Alice confirms. “It’s always changing as every decision made affects the outcome.”

Swallowing thickly, Y/N looks up over her shoulder to find Paul’s closed his eyes. He’s afraid. No matter what Alice says or what Y/N agrees to, he’s deathly afraid of the future and it pains her to see him so defeated. A man so brave is now brought to his knees and she can’t figure out how to tell him that turning her into a vampire will bring them no good. Isn’t it better to remember her fondly when she’s gone than to watch her become a bloodthirsty creature who won’t yearn for him or enjoy his presence? She won’t be who she was anymore, she won’t be the woman he loves now.

“I’d like to talk more about it once we eat the delicious food you guys prepared.” Y/N forces a somewhat genuine smile, deciding it would be better if Paul isn’t present when she speaks to Alice or any of them. “It smells like heaven and I’m famished thanks to Paul.”

Snorting, Paul pecks her temple. “You love me anyway.”

Cupping his cheek, Y/N’s smile softens. “It’s a burden I have to carry”, she remarks before walking toward Esme.

Esme lights up as she realizes Y/N’s already warming up to her, seeing her as less of a danger. 

“I’m sorry for my apprehension and I would like to thank you and Carlisle for having us over.”

“It’s our pleasure.” Esme gestures toward the kitchen, “We prepared a lot of food. Jacob usually eats most of it, so we had to account for two wolves today.”

Chuckling, Y/N nods, allowing Esme to lead her inside. “It’s such a hassle, I agree. No matter how much food I bring into the house, it’s all gone by the next day! I’m going bankrupt feeding Paul!”

While Y/N walked inside with a much more relaxed and positive attitude, Paul remained in the hall. Jacob and Edward hang back with him, watching as everyone poured into the kitchen to help set up the table. 

“What’s the situation”, Paul asks Edward.

“She’s having a hard time accepting all of this”, he replies. “Y/N strongly believes it would be a mistake if she turns.”

“Can you get more specific?” Jacob raises his brows. “If Paul’s to find a way to convince her, we need specifics.”

“Are you sure you want that to happen”, Edward asks quietly. “This won’t be like Bella. If anything, she might be more of a Jasper.”

“Why would you think that?” Paul frowns.

“Anxiety and depression lurking in her mind make her less emotionally stable, it could make her prone to a lot more mistakes when she turns,” Edward explains.

Paul shakes his head vehemently. “Didn’t you say being a vampire heals everything?”

“Sometimes a fractured mind is just that, a fractured mind”, Edward glances at Y/N carrying a few napkins. “She worries she won’t be the same. That she’ll be lost in her thirst for blood and that if she dies your imprint bond would break.”

“Even if it breaks, I’d still fucking love her”, Paul retorts quickly. “I loved her before the bond, I know I’d love her even if it broke.”

“But would she love you?”

Edward’s question brings chills down Paul’s spine. Truth is, he can’t be certain. She says she cared for him before the imprinting, but most of what he got from her was hate. All his life he believed Y/N Y/L/N hates his guts and would sell him out for a light breeze on a sunny day. Never before had it actually occurred to Paul that maybe the feelings Y/N has for him twisted her memories and feelings in a way that would bind her to him. She might believe she loved him before, but all those confessions came in conversations after imprinting. 

His love for Y/N has always been real, but he can’t be sure it’s the same for her.

Can he risk that?

Will he put their love to the test?

Yes.

Because even if he doesn’t like the answer, at least she’ll be alive. Y/N will have a chance to find happiness without Paul in the picture. And he’ll watch, cheer for her if necessary. He can’t be selfish with his heart – with his Y/N. 

“I just want her to live”, Paul sighs. “Nothing else matters to me.”

“Paul”, Jacob starts but one look from Paul shuts him up.

“We have to convince her or she’ll die and we will spend whatever time we have left wondering if we did enough to save her life. I can’t live like that. Can you?”

_______________________

Tags: @the-chaotic-cow​ @xxxjaexxx​ @captainrogers-19​ @bexloxl​ @llovergirlll​ @adaydreamaway08​ @sunsetevergreen​ @volturiwolf​ @twihard08​ @galacticstxrdust​ @sorrow-and-bliss​ @ireadthensuetheauthors​ @missxmarvelous​ @locokoca​ @unstablekay​ @makhaia​ @venusdelaroix​ @avadakadabra93​ @tearsforhan​ @a-marie-a​ @lendeluxe​ @seagulls-corner​ @jdbxws​ @konigslilslut​ @rottenstyx​ @itsmytimetoodream​ @dreamerwasfound​ @convolutings​ @thingfromlove​ @jennyamanda8​ @havecourage-darling​ @luvr-exe​ @alittlejudgemental​ @turningtoclown​ @emptydoorsandpaintedwindows​ @marvelmenarebeautiful​ @bringmethe-world​ @alitaar​ @sugasthreedollarkookie​ @chloe-skywalker​ @heyheyheyggg​ @feral-ratatattat-king​ @queereddie​ @fandomrulesall-blog​ @queenotaku27​ @dcgoddess​ @lilac-crowns-blog​ @small-town-wayward-daughter​ @yourqueentp​ @boreddemigodd​ @chaosgoblinreblogsthings​ @felinegrate​ @lunajay33​ @gtfoana​ @hpboysslut2707​ @tpwk-harry-styles​ @amberpanda99​ @let-love-bleeds-red​ @mo-s-blog​​ @nj01​ @myheadsinanotherworld​ @problematicpastry​ 

A/N: if anyone wants to be added or taken off the tags, leave a comment or send an ask. Make sure your blog visibility settings are on and that your blog hasn’t been flagged (blurry pfp is usually your clue that you have been flagged) as those are most common reasons why tumblr won’t let you be tagged. Also keep in mind changing your @ might mean you lose your tag since I can’t track everyone down when that happens. Other than that, hope you enjoy the series and I want to thank you all for being patient. I’ve definitely taken a lot of time off between the chapters due to life interfering. Hopefully I won’t need this much time to write the next one xD. 

PART 27

[adelarsims]

OC QUESTIONNAIRE: IVO

thank you @simarcana for the tag :)

if any of you wanted to know ivo a little better, here's your chance.

hello, my dear. i believe we never met... i'm the spellweaver here at the Academia, and a substitute librarian for the time being, until they find someone else for the job. so... in which capacity i may be of help?

NAME: that would depend on who you see in front of you right now, me or the... oh. then just Ivo is more than enough, there is no need to stand on ceremony ~

NICKNAME: with such a simple name as mine, no one really called me anything else. if you don’t count common words of endearment, but i don't think that counts.

GENDER: ...hmm. that made me think. i’m used to think of myself as a man, but when i imagine being offered a different opinion, it doesn’t feel alien or make me uncomfortable either... there's always something yet to be discovered about ourselves, isn't it.

STAR SIGN: Pisces, but you might not find it very fitting anymore, now that i... oh, apologies, i got a little distracted for a moment.

HEIGHT: i never bothered measuring my own height exactly. probably about 185 barefoot, a little over 190 on heels... why, does height difference bother you? i assure you, 171-cm-on-heels worth of the Grand Sage in a bad mood can be much more intimidating. ah, you want me to get you this book from the upper shelf? in that case, my dear, how about i teach you a little beckoning spell, if you have some free time on your hands? it will come in handy when i’m not around to help. ~

ORIENTATION: there was a time when i preferred one gender over all others. now i prefer not to prefer either. that is just for the best for everyone. i’m truly sorry if you asked out of... personal interest, my dear.

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: i’m afraid even i don't have the answer. i was here for as long as i can recall, but my childhood memories are rather... hazy. it was definitely warmer than here though, that much i remember.

FAVORITE FRUIT: peach, the juicier the better. even imagining it in my hand, its fuzzy skin still warm from the sun, juice streaming down my fingers and palm and staining my sleeve... ah, it almost makes me feel the taste in my mouth.

FAVORITE SEASON: summer. cold and damp weather can be very hard to endure, it takes a huge toll on my mind and body alike.

FAVORITE FLOWER: a whole field of forget-me-nots. and the apple tree blossoming in the warmest month of spring. it’s not something you could pluck for your amusement and put in a vase... you can only appreciate it and step away, carrying this moment of peace in your heart.

FAVORITE SCENT: oh, you know these thick, spicy scents that are an essential part of every tiny store that sells all kinds of fake occult knick-knacks impressionable young humans are so obsessed with? yeah, this scent. it’s just... so nostalgic for some reason.

COFFEE, TEA, or HOT CHOCOLATE: i much prefer pomegranate wine, my dear, but alas, now that i’m not allowed to drink alcohol anymore... it would be linden and melissa herbal tea. aside from its mild taste and soothing qualities, another great thing about it is that it never becomes tart even if you forget about it for a long time... however, i would also never say no to a cup of hot chocolate in a pleasant company ~

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: more than nine, preferably. sadly, i’m rarely given that luxury. everyone always needs something here, and you can't really say no when it's the Grand Sage who's asking, now can you?

DOGS or CATS: neither, my... guest doesn’t like animals. or, rather, they do not like to be in my presence anymore. why are you looking at me like that? i thought professor Ember warned you about... i see. apologies for confusing you then. at any rate, if i have to choose, then cats. a cat sleeps for twenty hours a day and wouldn't give me any trouble, while having a dog demands too much physical activity for my taste.

DREAM TRIP: anywhere warm, my dear. (...where i really want to go is to go back in time and make a different decision, one i won’t be regretting for the rest of my days, but...) oh, i look sad? these cold stones just aren’t good for my morale. winter this year was awfully long.

NUMBER OF BLANKETS: indefinite. nothing better for the night than making a warm cozy nest out of thick fluffy blankets. the flip side is that the warmer and cozier your blanket nest is, the more heartbreaking it is to leave it in the morning.

RANDOM FACT: there’s a belief among academia students that if you jump across the hall all the way to the statue of the First Sage on just one leg the day before the exam, and throw the note with your request, and the note stays in the statue’s hands, you will get an A+ without trying. no, no, not lazy, most of them prepare for exams anyway... it’s more of a tradition now. sometimes they write completely unrelated things. poems, love confessions to each other... someone even begged the statue to make professor Ember have a crush on them, poor soul. at least three poor souls a year, to be precise. how do i know all that? well... whose responsibility it is to retrieve all these notes from the statue, you think?

--

tagging @kisica-plays, @pralinesims for OC you didn't answer this for, @agena87, @adoringsentiment, @kri-babe, @puppycheesecake and anyone who sees this and suddenly wants to hop on that train

[storiesofleftoverghosts]

dating the batboys... and their Taylor Swift songs (1/2)

pairings: Bruce Wayne x GN!Reader, Dick Grayson x GN!Reader

warnings: none

requested?: nope! 

a/n: FOR SOME REASON MY TUMBLR ACTED UP AND POSTED ONE OF MY DRAFTS OH MY GOD IM SO EMBARRASSED. but of course my first work is Taylor Swift related. for those wondering, i don’t know if i’ll be doing romantic Damian Wayne anytime soon. just feels a bit weird. anyway! also I just wanted to get something out for people to see my writing style. expect part two with Jason and Tim tomorrow.

Bruce Wayne

as much as I love Bruce, I’m 100% a believer that it would be somewhat difficult to be in a relationship with him

i mean look at his taste in partners...

of course it’s because he’s Batman and he’s a secret vigilante blah blah blah

but also because he is Bruce Wayne!

THE BRUCE WAYNE

he is literally Kim Kardashian status people 

which means if you start dating him, you’re going to have to constantly deal with paparazzi, people digging into your personal life, etc.

and that’s just the surface level

the man has a lot of undealt with trauma and doesn’t believe he deserves love

plus he’s not one to open up about his emotions

I’d feel like there’d be a lot of arguments where Bruce goes too far trying to be protective because he doesn’t want to lose you but he doesn’t explicitly say that so he comes off as being a dick

do not expect this man to verbally apologize if you get into any arguments

he’ll apologize to you in his own way of course

if he was injured while on his nightly duties, he would distance himself from you while he healed (before you found out he was Batman)

would hesitantly let you patch him up because he doesn’t want you to see him as weak (after you find out)

once you do find out about his double life, expect Bruce to forbid you from trying to become a vigilante

he’s lost friends, past lovers, hell eventually even his own son

he would not let you do anything involving it and that’s finally

sorry dude

but it’s not too bad

Bruce loves you with his full heart

and he would do just about anything for you

no doubt in my mind this man would spoil you rotten

getting to see the somewhat soft side of Bruce more often than anyone else

not too big on PDA but once it’s just you two, this man cannot keep his hands to himself

going to one of his galas once you guys publicly announce your relationship and getting slightly overwhelmed from it all

him pulling you off to the side and making sure you’re okay

Alfred becoming a good friend of yours

once he fully trusts you and believes you to be his one and only, i think he’d tell you about his other life

or maybe you just accidentally stumble into the batcave

anyway i think he’d either put you in self-defense classes or teach you because it’s gotham and he can’t risk you getting hurt

he’d probably feel like he could never give you the peaceful life you deserve but he could never give up being batman

just understand that he’s an emotionally constipated man but he truly is head over heels for you

With all this considered I want to say that Dancing With Our Hands Tied (from Reputation) and peace (from folklore) are the best songs that would describe being with Bruce.

“People started talking, putting us through our paces I knew there was no one in the world who could take it I had a bad feeling

But we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied.”

Seeing the tabloids, the color drained from your face. You thought you would have more time before the press started trying to figure out who you were. No, you thought you and Bruce were being careful, sneaking around. But clearly not careful enough. There was your picture, on the front cover of one of the most popular magazines in Gotham. You couldn’t ignore the big bold letters already accusing you of using Bruce.

A shaky breath escaped your lips as you set the magazines down on the table. You were so caught up in your thoughts you hadn’t heard footsteps approaching you until you felt strong arms wrap around your waist. Your eyes fell shut as you leaned into Bruce’s soft and warm touch. For a second, it was like every thought left your mind at once. It was surprising the effect Bruce had on you.

Bruce’s eyes traveled down to what you had set down. He rolled his eyes once he read what the magazines had already started to say about you. It would be a lie if he had said he was surprised the paparazzi had already found out about you. He knew it would only be a matter of time before they found out, especially with just how famous he was. 

However, he was more worried about you. He felt a twinge of guilt shoot through his heart. It was his fault after all you were now in the spotlight. He was used to being in it, especially from such a young age. But sometimes not even he can handle being under the constant watch of the public eye. No one can. 

Of course, Bruce was also nervous about you. If you were going to stay or not. This had always been a deal breaker for his past relationships. Well besides the fact of him being a vigilante. But normally they didn’t last that long for him to even think of telling his partner. However, you were different. You were someone who challenged him to think differently, and you constantly believed there was good in people, no matter what. He didn’t want to lose you. He just had a bad feeling. He squeezed a little bit tighter, but not too much to hurt you.

“If you’re worried I’m going to leave, don’t be. I knew exactly what I was signing up for when I agreed to go out with you.” You turned to face him and cupped his cheek. He almost melted into your touch. He looked into your loving eyes. He didn’t have to say anything, but you knew that he was just as much in love with you as you were with him.

Dick Grayson

Dick is a very complex character 

this man is also traumatized

his trauma is not talked about enough by the fandom and its sad

I would say that he’s moved past it, but it’s also left its scars (like trauma does)

he’s just so used to trying to make everyone happy he forgets to take care of his own feelings (im not projecting shut up)

but after being friends for a while and he starts dating you, you’d see right through him

him constantly deflecting his emotions with comedy because the man doesn’t like to be in uncomfortable situations and feelings are uncomfortable 

he’s a stubborn man so you’d have to be an even more stubborn person to try and make him change his mind in an argument

but even then sometimes there’s nothing that could change his mind

having a heart attack because this man doesn’t tend to think before jumps

however, he is such a sweetheart when it comes to relationships

he’s always putting you before himself

don’t let him push you away because he thinks he’s protecting you

always asking about your day and genuinely being interested in whatever you have to say

man’s gets literally heart eyes whenever you open your mouth

he is so big on PDA!

he’s always holding your hand or has an arm wrapped around your shoulder when you go out into public

being in awe of how flexible he can bend his body

until he pranks you by bending over backwards and running at you

“THAT WAS NOT FUNNY I ALMOST KICKED YOU” “it was funny to me and that’s what matters”

being Dick Grayson and Nightwing makes his life hectic, but he always makes time for you

not being too surprised when you eventually find out he is Nightwing

due to the fact when you’d go out by yourself, Nightwing would always happen to “bump” into you and would make sure you’d get to your destination safely

you knew those quips and that laugh from anywhere

turning anything you two do together into a date

whenever he notices you are not taking care of yourself or are just having a bad day, he does self care days with you

you doing the same for him

he doesn’t have as bad of overprotective issues as Bruce does

but he still has lost so many people in his life so of course he’s gonna be terrified of losing you like that

I just don’t think he’d let it control him

he’s so in love with you it’s not even funny

Okay so I’m so confident in my answer when I say that Paper Rings (from Lover) and The Archer (from Lover) are so Dick Grayson it’s not even funny. He’s just Lover coded, I don’t know what to tell y’all!

“I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want, and

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you’re the one I want”

“Dick!” You laughed and quickly turned your head away to not get hit with the paper wrapper from the straw he had blown towards you. He had missed his target, and the wrapper fell on the recently mopped checked floor. You shot a playful glare at him and stuck your red straw into your shared milkshake. He gave you one of his iconic smiles, putting his straw into the milkshake too.

The two of you were currently sitting in a big red booth in a 24/7 dinner at three in the morning. The smell of greasy food had filled the air, but it was quickly becoming a comfort smell to you. This had recently become a weekly thing between Dick and you. Whenever you both just couldn’t fall asleep, you’d find yourselves at the diner, talking about anything and everything under the sun. What can you say? The city never sleeps and neither do you two.

Your eyes wandered to the city lights outside. For once, Blüdhaven seemed still, as if it were frozen in time. Your mind wandered as you began to think how you ended up here in the first place. You had been friends with Dick since you were kids, always glued at the hip. It was no surprise feelings had started to develop as you grew older and as the days grew on, it had gotten harder to keep from him.

That was until one night, he showed up at your apartment drunk. Dick was never one to hold his liquor well. You had begrudgingly dragged him in and made a bed for him on the couch. It was then he started to spout out how he’s loved you since you were teenagers and how he couldn’t imagine his life without you. He then begged you not to leave and pulled you on the soft couch with him. It was hard to say no, so you didn’t and enjoyed the silence.

The next morning, you and Dick had a heart to heart and opened up about each others feelings to each other. Since that day, you’ve been stuck like glue to each other. When he wanted to leave to Blüdhaven, you were right behind him and moved in with him. It was funny to think that if it hadn’t been for that drunken “accident”, you wouldn’t have been where you are.

Feeling something being slid on your finger, you snapped out of your thoughts and looked down. It was a thin paper ring made from the straw wrapper. You looked up and stared into the ocean blue eyes that stared right back.

“Someday, it will be an actual ring.” Dick smiled and reached for your hand. You smiled and let him hold your hand, taking in just now warm and soft his hand was. It felt like home to you. You softly squeezed it, and took a sip from your milkshake. For now, this small paper ring would be more than enough for you.

[anxiousdino]

Due to AO3 being down for an uncertain amount of time, I’m going to post the first chapter of my fic. I was waiting to publish it after it was finished because then writer’s block won’t delay you guys reading it. I may post more chapters until the website is back up but I won’t promise it! Important note: DO NOT HARASS AO3! THEY ARE FIXING IT WITH VOLUNTEERS AND SHOULD BE PRAISED RN!! THIS IS NOT THEIR FAULT!

(This fic is written with the Movie! Versions in mind)

All My Blossoms

Chapter 1

_

His chair jolted back with him immediately after the doors slammed open. Luigi quickly sorted himself out and noticed everyone's unimpressed glares at the guest. A grumbled apology made it past his awkward expression as he sat in a comically large chair.

“Now that His Majesty has arrived,” Mario coughed a 'finally' into his fist, Peach continued. “We may begin the negotiations of the treaty." Diplomatic yet kind as ever.

Thankfully, over the afternoon only one fight had to be stopped between Bowser and Mario and negotiations were added, removed or changed smoothly. Right at that moment, they had the jovial tone of sporting buddies rather than leaders with a feud. Then one last request was placed. The Koopa King expressed his concern of not having a partner’s help.

Kamek is good but the kids wear him out too much for saying he has to be an adviser too. He needs someone to look after his children while he attends royal affairs with the magikoopa or to go in his place so he can spend more time with them. This level of security and trust can only be given by a marriage. That way, they can’t harm his kingdom or kids and he can’t hurt them without breaking the treaty. Mixed reactions painted everyone’s faces with Peach considering but hesitant and Mario struggling to hold in his definitely not royal meeting appropriate response. The younger twin held his brother’s shoulder in reassurance.

“I’m not asking it to be you, Princess. Not unless you’re up for it. It only needs to be someone important to the kingdom to ensure no funny business from me.” Carefully, she ruled out who couldn’t go.

Her, for starters, unless there truly was no one else. Mario is with her and neither man would agree. Toadette had high-ish status. But was it enough to garante peace?

“I-I’ll do it?” All eyes snapped to the voice even as quiet as it was. Anyone may have mistaken him for his brother based on the crimson rapidly growing on Luigi’s face. Again, mixed reactions across the room. Similarly to the last shock, Peach was cautiously in thought while Mario went straight to talking them both out of it. All Bowser could do was stare at the plumber in confusion.

“There is no one else, is there Princess? I could see the cogs turning. I can’t let you go, you’ve got your own kingdom. That’s what this treaty is about. My status is important enough to make sure he doesn’t hurt me but removed enough it won’t hurt the kingdom.”

What? Mario is certain he’s never heard his brother talk that much in one go before. Even the king was sceptical, all he knew was the green one was terrified of everything. Especially him.

“You really don’t mind this, Weegi?”

Everything in his body screamed no but his head knows it's the only option. He nods and looks his brother in the eyes to agree. It's not that either of them think Luigi's at risk, more so that they know this isn't Bowser’s or Luigi's ideal future. How come he gets the love of his life when his fratellino is subjected to being a political pawn? Above all of this is Mario's trust in him. If Luigi sincerely says he's okay with this then Mario trusts him. He's okay with it too.

“How much political knowledge do you have, Greenie?"

Luigi answers honestly by claiming to only know a bit from joining these meetings. On the conditions that he has lessons from Kamek or himself, Bowser is the last to agree.

~

A month before the wedding Luigi has to move to the castle. Frankly it's more of a formality, time for the grooms to adjust to each other and for the staff and children to get used to their future king consort. Meeting the Koopalings (properly) was by far the worst part of this for the plumber. Anxieties clawed at him from every angle, the most concerning being ‘am I a dad now?’

"Alright, before we go in you need to breathe. I can hear you worrying, stop. What has you so worked up?" Straining in his chest proved the king correct about breathing, did he care or was he annoyed?

“They won't like me. I'm essentially their step-dad and Mario's brother, and human, and-"

"Woah, woah! Greenie, chill. True, it might take them time to come to terms with it. Hate you? Maybe. But any disrespect to you will break the treaty." He stopped for a minute. "Step-dad? This is a political marriage. You're more a glorified babysitter. Don't sweat it.” The words barely registered with the anxious man as the large common room doors opened. Several big sofas messily decorated the floor (which was not how it looked when Bowser left it) along with many random objects. Drawings were piled up in various spots, a few small machines (or robots?) moved around with different levels of competence and so much more. Nine Koopas occupied the room, one of whom could not look more tired.

"Sire! You're back! And you, the monsters are your problem now." A staff was swiftly pointed in Luigi's face.

"Sì?”

Suddenly one of the 'monsters' announces to his siblings that their dad is home and races to hug his father as everyone else brings their attention to the new comer. Question after question abuses the ears of the three adults.

"Shut it, twerps! We're gonna sit an’ talk about it. Out the door way, now!

Once comfortably spread amongst the couches, or in Lemmy's case the floor, Bowser opens the conversations to anyone willing not to interrupt each other. Wendy quickly goes first.

“Why are you here?” Simple question, Luigi answers as such.

“Why you,” Junior cuts in, “why not mama?”

Bowser takes that one, much to Luigi’s relief. Each koopaling asks different things, Ludwig sticking to political side of things. Iggy had to be steered back to the original topic after finding out that Luigi dabbles in engineering, both of them excited to share their interests. Ever annoyed at the lack of a feminine presence Wendy through jabs at him, only for him to shyly admit that he enjoys make up and dresses. Junior doesn’t speak after his first enquiry.

Just as their dad went to call it a night, Ludwig asked his only personal question.

“I get it’s a political marriage but doesn’t that mean you’re our father too now?” Annoyance and anger pointedly obvious in the teen’s tone.

Everything in him tenses at the realisation that the worst has happened; he’s now a dad and the kids hate him. One of Bowser’s hands squeezed his while he reassured his son that Luigi is only their parent if they want him to be. For now he’s just a helping hand. Kamek dismissed the children and led them out the door.

On Junior’s way out he whispered to the elder koopa resulting in the boy running over to the fiancés. The young koopa looked up at his father and asked if he no longer has a ‘mama’ that would play with him or praise his art. Luigi’s heart broke alongside the boy’s voice, answering before Bowser could.

“Junior, I promise I will play with you and look at your drawings. Instead of a ‘mama’ you are welcome to see me as a ‘papa’ if you want.” Both koopas stared at him, one with excitement and the other with something. Confusion? Shock? Fondness? All three seemed to shine in Bowser’s eyes.

“Really?! But you said you’re not our dad?”

“Only because I know this is a big change. If you don’t want me too be, then I won’t be. If you do, then I will.”

No one had expected him to say it, especially this quickly or willingly. However he found he was just as sure about this as he was about the deal with Bowser.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

~

Kamek approached him the day after to give him a tour and explain some of his new duties. It thoroughly surprised the magikoopa when Luigi took everything in and seemed serious about helping Bowser rule. Hesitancy about the plan still flowed through him, specifically because of it being Luigi. His son deserved to marry for love, not marry the brother of Mario. Peach would have been more ideal, at least one of them had feelings. But, the way Luigi was with the koopalings and new responsibilities put him a little more at ease. The old koopa even noticed that he treated the staff well despite the comments they jeered at him. He also noted that he would pretend to not hear, only to (albeit subtlety) deflate once it was just the two of them again.

“Finally, we have arrived at the private garden. Only the royal family may enter here, myself included. As king consort this extends to you now, sire.”

Monotone words barely made it past Luigi’s ears. Calmly flowing water fell from a central fountain, grand in its design yet modest in size, pallets of flowers painted along the pebble path. On the opposite end to the opening sat a bench clearly made for the king. Awe froze him, letting him bask in the slice of Heaven.

The magikoopa chuckled beside him, “beautiful isn’t it, sire?”

“Favoloso. Sì, very. There’s nothing like this at my cottage.”

“Junior told me about last night-“

“Ah, scusi! I didn’t mean to overstep, he was upset so I tried to cheer him up.” Kamek’s stoic look easily slipped into a smirk.

“I was only going to thank you, sire. Lord Junior has had a complex relationship with parental figures. He never should have been lied to about his mother being Princess Toadstool, it makes him feel unwanted. You made him feel wanted again, and his papa will be less distracted from now on. For that, I thank you.”

No words in either language came to the Italian. The sudden emotional turn froze him all over again. Out of seven siblings, a father, a grandfather and a castle full of staff Junior felt unwanted until he of all people showed up. All he’d done was agree to look at paintings, how could the bar of a prince be so low in what was an obviously loving family? Then again, eight children and a kingdom means time is just as important as love. It dawned on him that he hadn’t only agreed to look at paintings. All he’d done was agree to give the family time for showing love that they held for each other. Junior may have asked him to be his ‘papa’ but that didn’t make him one, he didn’t feel like one, he was just there so his actual father could be with him.

Goodbyes between the advisers were said on autopilot. Registering that he was alone and moving towards the bench was just as mindless. Nothing but the knowledge of what he’d done filled his thoughts. It is important to understand that he didn’t regret the agreement, but that this was his first real opportunity to truly process it. Not only had he signed up to be an adviser but also a king, a husband and a dad. He signed to be a symbol of peace, as an insurance policy. Dread and shock forced themselves together in his head, a jagged mesh blocking out anything else. But there was no regret. For all the consequences (good or bad), he’d do it again every time if it meant stability within both kingdoms. If it could provide stability within a family.

A weight that wasn’t his own pushed on the wooden seat, it’s subtle creak snapping him from the thoughts. Aches coursed through his hands from gripping tangled hair and his eyes stung similarly to his scalp. From beside him, his ragged breaths were eased into a normal rhythm by a patient voice. Luigi was no stranger to having panic attacks but having others help makes escaping them easier. He thanks Bowser, not needing to look up to know who was there, receiving a gruff ‘welcome’ in return.

“Wanna talk about it, usually helps the kids after these.” The green clad man gestures awkwardly between them. “Hey! Imma catch, who wouldn’t wanna marry me? And don’t say Peach!” Luigi chuckled.

“No, no. It’s a, big, adjustment is all. You get a break and peace, I get a job, a husband and bambini.”

“I get a husband too, ya know? See, both getting screwed over.”

“Still not even.” He bumped his shoulder against Bowser’s bicep. Comfortable silence blanketed them for minutes and minutes, neither willing to break it. Half an hour passed before the king was called to his duties and Luigi was left alone in the garden.

_

[grace-williams-xo]

Rating a selection of the (main) fandoms I’ve been in over the years. This is just for shits and giggles, please don’t start a war. I truly sincerely don’t care that much. Peace and love. [my current level of engagement with these fandoms varies]

One Direction 7/10 (fandom since 2013)

Absolutely cooked, but looking back, not that bad

Very powerful. Live in fear if we ever properly reunite again (the last big thing was July 2020 iykyk) bc we have reach everywhere and it never leaves our souls

Ahead of its time, but also an exact summary of 2012–2014

The solos who fight are the worst please fucking chill

The best fandom ever when it comes to tagging fics I won’t be debating this

Larries still exist in 2024 I can’t believe it either and they are the blueprint for all toxic shipping culture. Larries get a 1/10 and that 1 is for the good au fics only

5SOS 8/10 (fan since 2013, fandom since 2018)

Lots of overlap with directioners so have always kind of just been the smaller version of that fandom

Smaller fandoms can be less toxic but also sometimes 5sos fam is/was an absolute mess for no reason at all

Has been much more toxic since 2020 onwards because the guys have lives and people get way too bored

Some fans with directioner roots can’t comprehend that the band actually like each other and that’s just funny to me

Fletcher 6/10 (fan since 2017, fandom since 2020)

It was a great fandom until the first album cycle started, and then it got bad, and then Becky’s so hot made it worse, and then last year Fletcher herself joined a cult and drove it off a cliff

Currently it’s a mess of fans either forgiving her entirely, stanning Chappell Roan and Renee Rapp instead but continuing to tweet about her problems once a month, or—my favourite—forgiving her when she tours near them

Taylor Swift 4/10 (fan since 2009, fandom since 2015)

Gets worse with every passing second. Rep era? Great. Lover era? Good. Folklore/evermore? Alright. Fearless/Red TV? Tolerable. Midnights/Eras onwards? Abhorrent.

Gaylors will either save the world or end it

Some of the most insane dick riding for a fave I’ve ever seen in a fandom in my life please have some perspective

Hawaii Five-0 10/10 (since 2017)

The most active fandom for a dead tv show, I feel like I’m clout farming every time I post a fic

Never seen a more headcannoned ship in my life than mcdanno

No controversial debates

Overall very chill, but we all give the people writing genuine Steve/Lynn or Danny/Amberlissa fics side eye

Glee 9/10 (since 2018)

If you watched glee, it will come as no surprise that no one in this fandom is mentally okay

Way too passionate about ranking the seasons

Entirely cooked, but very self aware so we’re having fun

Bridgerton 7/10 (since Apr 2024)

The shipper fights take years off my life PLEASE relax I am begging you

Some of the fandom think rich straight white women are the most oppressed class of society

Good fics but you do not know how to tag smh

White Collar 19/10 (since Jan 2024)

The best!!!

No drama the only debate is about what happened in/after the finale, but it isn’t toxic

I lied the debate is are Peter/Neal romantic

Speaking of, no one protects spoilers like this fandom. We will go to battle to make sure new watchers don’t get the big reveals spoiled

Would’ve gotten a 20 but y’all, respectfully, mostly suck ass at tagging fics it’s maybe the worst fandom I’ve ever come across

[aleshimbobimbo]

Make Your Heart Beat Stronger - Part 3

Rotxo x Medic in Training!Metkayina!GN!Reader Angst

Description: Tsireya tries to help you make a plan, but the plan gets too real

Timeline: begins where part 2 left off, after explaining the situation to Tsireya

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Warnings: blood, falling asleep underwater, akula attack (basically a shark attack), dragging underwater, blood loss, angst, that’s all I think so lemme know if I missed anything

Word Count: 745

Extra note: your Ilu’s name is Marie, it translates to peaceful in Māori (google translate, please correct me if I’m wrong)

“Oh no, this is bad” Tsireya says with shocked eyes after you finish explaining. “You need to apologize.”

“I’ve been trying, Reya. I just can’t find him alone. He either isn’t around or he’s helping the new kids.” You groan, flopping on the ground. “Do you think he hates me?”

“Don’t say that! Rotxo doesn’t hate anyone, he’s too sweet for that.” She giggles at the last part, making you let out a little chuckle.

“You’re right, but I still need to fix this. Any ideas?” You mumble. Tsireya thinks hard, eyebrows furrowed before she speaks.

“I’ve got it! You said he’s avoiding you, right? So let’s just make it so he can’t leave” she says confidently.

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“An akula.” Tsireya tells you.

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?” You yell.

“Okay it sounds bad but-”

“OF COURSE IT SOUNDS BAD, IT IS BAD.�� You look at her with wide eyes.

“HEAR ME OUT” she pleads. You huff, looking at her with a pout. “We make it seem like you are in danger, Rotxo would never leave someone in danger. I tell him to come rescue you and once he arrives, you tell him the truth” she whispers, looking around carefully as if Rotxo himself would pop out of hiding.

“Fine, when do we put this plan into action?” You ask, looking at her with a deadpan expression.

“Today. We’ll both swim out of the reef on our Ilu but I’ll rush back with Marie and send Rotxo your way.”

“Fine. Let’s get going” you give in, getting up to walk with her to the shore.

Arriving to the beach, you can’t see Rotxo anywhere.

“He’s helping sharpen the spears right now” Tsireya whispers, understanding your confused expression.

Nodding, you climb aboard your Ilu. Once you and Tsireya connect your queues, you take off. Once you arrive outside of the reef, Tsireya smiles at you as you climb off of Marie’s back.

“Please be gentle with her” you say, always so protective of Marie. She’s a kind beast, and you’ve loved her since you were a child. She would swim to your Marui every night before you went to bed and nuzzle your face, as if she were giving you goodnight kisses. She truly is your closest friend.

“I promise, I’ll make sure nobody touches her” Tsireya assures you. Letting out a shaky breath, you give Marie a quick peck to her forehead and wave goodbye. Watching Tsireya and Marie retreat, all you can do now is wait.

Your heart raced, the anticipation killing you. Your impatience would be the death of you. It’s only been a few minutes since Tsireya climbed on shore, but to you it felt like an eternity. The tension in the air thick from your mind racing, perhaps that’s why you didn’t notice sooner. A large shadow crept behind you in the water, but you had your back turned. You didn’t even notice until you felt it brush your leg.

Freezing in place, you watched as it swam around front of you. Your breath hitched, seeing a shadow over double your size. /Don’t move, don’t move. Maybe it’ll think you’re a rock/ you thought. *it was at this moment, you knew, you fucked up*

Dragging you under the water, your leg began to sear with pain. Blood flowing out surrounding you, you tried to scream. But no matter how hard you tried, nobody would hear you. Staring the creature dead in its eyes, you felt fear overload your body. /I can’t freeze, not now. I need to do something, anything/ you panicked. In a moment, you had your teeth latched onto the beasts head, right above the eye.

It stunned the akula long enough to rip your leg from its grasp, as you swam as fast as you could. But of course it wasn’t fast enough. The akula chased you, its tooth grazing your back and making a large but shallow cut. You couldn’t see anymore. Maybe it was the blood surrounding you in the water, maybe it was the fact that the blood was flowing out of your body, but regardless you couldn’t see anything.

Feeling dizzy, your eyes began to close. /don’t fall asleep you idiot/ you thought, trying to will yourself awake. But your eyes felt so heavy and your body felt weak. You finally felt someone grip your arm, dragging you to the surface. And then it all went dark.

——————————————————

Author’s Note: I am so sorry this part took a while- I genuinely just didn’t feel like writing 💀 but it’s done now!! 🫶 enjoy!! Also if I didn’t tag something then please let me know. Also my dog likes being a dick to me. If he wants to go outside, he’ll walk up in front of you and try to claw your mouth or throat and then pull you towards the door 😭 he’s a jerk, nobody even taught him this he just did it before and it worked

Tag list: @effervescentalessia @edasow @im-in-a-pansexual-panik

[heimdallsram]

━━━━ masterlist. soundtrack. archive of our own. taglist.

title: perennial

pairing: heimdall x female! goddess! reader

"You were a goddess of oaths and vows. It was only fitting that Odin would bind you to his service in only the most ironic way that he knew how: marriage."

this fanfiction contains the following: domestic violence, blood, gore, choking, violent sexual content, bad BDSM etiquette, non-consensual somnophilia, blood drinking, unhealthy relationships, and much more content that may be sensitive to some readers. reader discretion is advised.

*for inquiries about the taglist, please dm me and i will add you to it.

 “Is this Lady Var?” Sindri held the leather journal aloft in the candlelight. The paper took on a warm cast as the charcoal depiction of their friend, dressed in the same clothing as they had seen you in the day before, became evident. There were notes taken in Atreus’ hand on the back of the page, likely written some time after you had left judging by the hasty smear marks. “You captured her likeness pretty well.”

 “Lemme see that!” Brok ripped the journal away. He hummed and hawwed, turned it this way and that, all under Atreus’ amused gaze, until he nodded in satisfaction. “Aye, it’s a good one. Don’t think the Var Goddesses have been written down’n posterity since the first.”

 Atreus frowned as the blue dwarf handed his journal back with a flourish. “What do you mean?”

 “He means Odin has a full ban on the depictions of the Var Goddesses,” Sindri explained. He grimaced at a smudge of dirt on the table that he had missed and retrieved brush to scrub it away. “It started after the first Var goddess nearly killed him for breaking his vow to his father, Borr. I really don’t think we should be talking about this without her—“

 “You know that ain’t right,” Brok interrupted. Atreus’ gaze drifted between the two. “’N besides, she ain’t gonna be here until either Odin dies or Ragnarok comes, and neither of those is happenin’ soon. The kid ought to know all there is to Odin’s crimes!”

 Sindri glanced away, the rag twisted between his hands nervously. It was not the first time the Huldra brother had been not so keen on something, but it was the first time he looked like he would vomit because of it. “Oh, fine, but I can’t say anything. I made a promise. Oath. Vow, not to speak about any of it.”

 “That’s fine with me! Now listen, lad, this story begins way before you were even thought about bein’ born—“

 * * *

 “—in the forests of Vanaheim,” you finished tiredly. Odin sat across from where you stood in front of his desk, rapidly scribbling runes down onto a long piece of parchment. Each piece, for as long as you had been doing this for him, was crammed full of information of vows and oaths that had been made that you could not observe, being  bound in Asgard as you were. He currently had nearly a dozen scrolls of just important information on oaths within Vanaheim, Alfheim, and Midgard alone, much to your dismay. “I could not observe it however, due to your collar.”

Odin waved his hand in dismissal. “Yes, yes, we’ve been over this already.”

You remained standing with a permanent scowl on your face.

“Oh, you’re still here? Get going, I’m sure… someone out there misses you.”

It was a low blow, but you turned on your heel and left his office before your trembling hands could make their way around his stringy, wrinkled neck. For the last several days, you had gotten no peace, or rest, because of the countless oaths he demanded you tell him about. From whispers on the breeze to vows from Freyr himself, he wanted to know, and you were now magically bound to tell him. The spells kept you awake for days, dragging you from a light doze to full alertness in a matter of seconds, continuously, all so you could be useful to Odin. Now that he had some control over what you would tell him, the gentle facade had rapidly decayed before your eyes to expose the master of deceit you knew he truly was. He was short with you, speaking in clipped sentences, and dismissed you like a poorly loved pet when he was finished.

You had not expected anything different from him, but it still stung nonetheless. For the moment, those visits had kept you from even laying eyes on Heimdall, and you supposed you were thankful for that reprieve. Since he had left you shortly after your wedding night, you had heard rumors that he was pacing the walls, looking for giants that weren’t there—or intruders, which were one and the same according to Thor. If it was because of you, you couldn’t say, but having him out of your space felt like a breath of fresh air.

It almost felt like the way it was before you were ever married, save for Odin’s turn of personality. You walked the halls, squeezed in an errand or two, spoke with Sif in mumbled, exhausted phrases, but you never once toed the wall. Something told you if you went up there to seek out your little sanctuary outside of it that you would sooner find yourself falling off of it in some tragic accident than going down in the lift.

You had not had any time to process what you had gone through. Between the oaths, sluggishness of your mind, and the duties that requested your attention, the trauma that was coiling tightly in the back of your mind had yet to burst. It was of the faintest flickers of memory, but the most vivid was the way you had laid on Heimdall's bed after he had left and stared at the ceiling, doing your best to ignore the way your body screamed that everything that had been done to you had not been right.

“Ah, you’re here,” Sif announced from her spot at a table in the dining hall. Beside her, chowing down on what appeared to be prime cut of lamb, was Thor, and to her left was Thrud, though the poor girl looked as if she wished to be anywhere else at the moment. The goddess raised her arm to gesture you to join her and, after a moment of  hesitance, and drew by the smell of food, you sat, gingerly folding your hands in your lap. “I was wondering when I would get to speak to you in more than just mumbles… After the wedding, you have been—“

“Busy.” You smiled tightly. Thrud passed a bowl of honeyed oats to you wordlessly, something she knew you liked from your repeated visits with her mother. It was devoid of the usual fruits, likely because of the very vow you had been speaking to Odin about—a merchant had been slew and his stock, on the way to Asgard, stolen—moments before. You nodded your thanks to her and relaxed at the taste, soothed to have something in your stomach after so long using your powers. “Even moreso as of late. But I am fine, just… tired.”

Thor grunted. “Who knew reading magical threads was so… taxing.”

“Indeed.” You took another spoon full of oats, delivering it to your mouth in an unladylike swallow. When you weren’t flicking through the various vows made by other people, you were steadily plucking and prodding at the ones between yourself and Heimdall. The red vow, the one that felt ominous and strange, had been the product of your marriage bonds and Odin’s runework. It was somehow infused with the capabilities of the collar, the spells he had put into it, and the hold he now had over you; you had yet to untangle that particularly complicated web, or put a scratch on it. It was impervious to anything you tried to do to it, bouncing back harmlessly when you thought you had managed to ruin it just a little. And no matter how hard you tried, you could not read it. “Oh. That was sarcasm, was it not?”

“You need rest,” Sif said after a moment. There was nothing but concern in her eyes as she took you in, then your half eaten bowl of oats. “And a more filling meal.”

You shook your head wordlessly. “I do not think I will be able to do much more than sleep at the moment. Thank you for the company, I… needed the moment’s reprieve.”

Sif did not worry about dismissing you as you stood from the bench, bringing your bowl with you. You neglected any of the ale or juice on the table and instead made your way to Heimdall’s rooms. Your own room had been hastily dismantled and put to use for someone else, while Magni and Modi’s rooms remained empty on the other side of the building. Heimdall’s room was easily twice the size of your own and had a larger bed, but was rarely used; you assumed it would be safe to sleep there for now, given his agitated pacing upon the wall. Your other option would be to sleep in one of the crevasses of the wall.

“Oh, my lady, there you are!” A dwarven servant was rapidly approaching you, a twinkle in her eye. She could not have been more than a child in dwarf terms, yet she seemed happy to see you—an oddity, considering most steered clear since your wedding. “I did not find you in your quarters. You have a letter, my lady.”

She held the piece of parchment out to you primly. When you accepted it, confusion warping your face, she bolted past you and, somehow, vanished the moment you blinked. You stared at the paper and then tucked it into the bag at your side, rubbing your face tiredly. Your mind felt like it had countless worms inside it, devouring your thoughts before you could process them. You would sleep, and then, perhaps, test the vows some more.

But when you turned the corner, eyes zeroing in on Heimdall’s door, you were instantly crowded by none other than your husband himself. If his pacing on the wall had looked intimidating, it was nothing compared to the agitation he showed now, appearing as tired and put upon as you felt. He even, laughably, had bags under his eyes, and you would have laughed, if it were not for the way he fisted his hands into the front of your dress and pulled you as physically close as possible.

“What in the Nine Realms do you think you’re doing to me?” He demanded hotly. He smelled as if he had consumed vast amounts of mead, yet did not look drunk in the least. “I can’t sleep! I can’t think! Hel, I can’t even eat without wanting to purge my stomach of its contents, and now, I have bags under my eyes. What sorcery are you inflicting upon me?”

Bewildered, you stared at him, considering. He did look tired, in fact, he looked exhausted. “I don’t know what you mean. I have been working with the All-Father these past few days, and I do not have the magical ability to, as you say, inflict sorcery on you. Not that I do not wish to, on some days.”

He released you with a disgusted hiss. You rocked back on your heels, unsteady, as he pushed past you, going down the hall and towards Odin’s office, temper hot. You watched him turn around the corner and sighed, taking the final strides to his bedroom door and wrenching it open. Once you were inside, you closed the door shut and collapsed on the bed.

You did not have the energy to care why he was so angry at you. Again. If it was not the usual fury of being married to you and being forced into it by his own father, you were sure it was something he had conjured up in his own mind. He had such a habit of blaming his faults on others, you had found, even something completely out of your control. You peeled off your boots with your feet, uncaring if you got dirt all over his floor, and snuggled into the countless furs and pillows he had upon his bed. It was like sleeping on clouds, and strangely materialistic for a man, but Heimdall was… well. He was Heimdall, and as vain as a strutting peacock.

You hummed, content, and closed your eyes when your cheek hit the pillow. You hated him so much that your stomach was rolling with it, and you snorted in derision at the idea of being the cause of his hunger, tiredness, and irate mood. It was almost too funny, the way he so quickly blamed you, and you felt yourself slipping easily into sleep as you thought if it—

Your eyes opened of their own accord. There was no spell stopping you from going to sleep, and yet your mind had produced a simple thought.

What if you had been the cause of his mood?

It was not as if the marriage vows did not go both ways. You had been working at them for days now, nearly the same length of time that Heimdall had begun pacing the walls like a rabid mouse. You didn’t even entertain the idea that the vows could be affecting him too, on top of the way you could hear his thoughts if you focused hard enough. You had been unable to read him due to his abilities of foresight, before, but now you could pluck his stream of consciousness out like a white fish in a swarm of trout. What if Odin’s spells were doing more than just binding you to his whims?

Bringing your knees to your chest, you examined the dark red thread that ran from the center of your heart and into the open air, in the general direction of Heimdall’s person. With a cautious metaphysical finger, you plucked at it, and watched it vibrate all the way down the entirety of the string. It stopped the moment it was received on Heimdall’s end and you watched it flash a brief pink briefly.

Then, faintly, you heard the sound of a cup being thrown against a vase, and Thor’s angered voice.

You smiled and closed your eyes, oblivious to the meltdown Heimdall was experiencing just a dozen feet from you. You were, the first thing when you awoke from your nap, going to make him miserable. And you knew just the place to start.

| next.

taglist: @versiesleeps

[valhallaas]

Play to Win

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: Ghost is good at the silent game. Even better when you don’t know that you’re playing. 

A/N: This is is something new. I just wanted to dabble in it. It leaves you wanting more which is the whole point. As always, feedback is appreciated, and enjoy! Also! Shoutout to @charnelhouse the ghost queen.

He’s been here two weeks and the only reason you know that is by the empty coffee pot that greets you every morning. He truly lives up to his name. Ghost. A name you’ve heard, a reputation that lives beyond him. He may be a ghost, it’s still pretty shitty of him to leave no coffee for you at all. You run a tight ship, have a set schedule. Your routine only differs when someone drops by. Which is rare. Normally it’s just you and the silence. You don’t mind. It is a simple, boring life. But you’d rather be bored than dead.

You’re not lonely. Twice a month you go to town. You get the occasional phone call from Sargent Mactavish (I call you when I can, Val. Y’know how it is) There’s also the farm. Two horses, two cows, one goat and three cats. You’ve got your hands busy.

Feet banging on the mat outside, you can’t help the sigh of irritation that slips. You glare at the snow as it falls. The air was chilly, freezing you down to your bones. It’s a beautiful wonderland until you have to go muck around in it. Finally peeling the boots from your feet you pad your way to the kitchen as the door slammed behind you.

Your fingers twitch. It’s empty. Again. He has to be doing it on purpose. You’d adjusted the settings so there’d be enough for the both of you. You need your coffee. The familiar cup sits beside the coffee maker waiting to be filled. It was 6:20 am and murder was on your mind. You could get away with it. You knew these mountains. Your rifle was a limb forged by war. You’ve never missed a shot. Maybe another day. You’re running on fumes. You blow on your hands, flexing your fingers, you move to the cabinet and grab the coffee container. It’s another twenty minutes and a steaming cup of coffee rests next to you. You’re curled up in the reading nook, fingers gripping the book like your life depends on it. They haven’t quite got any feeling back in them yet. Sometimes you wonder how you ended up here. You hate the fucking cold. Snorting softly, you open your book and get lost in the pages.

There’s a loud bang. Like a distant gunshot. Like a door slamming. Boots pounding against hardwood. The book you had been reading earlier clattered to the floor as you shot up. It’s bright, sunlight glaring off fresh snow; squinting you throw your feet to the floor, hands searching for your gun. What you find is a blanket. The one that normally stays draped over the couch. Frowning, you stare down at the soft material. As your breathing calms and your thoughts become clearer, you relax and slump against the seat. You had fallen asleep. Your dream had shocked you, taken a turn from a memory and made it seem real. It had been at one point, but that was a long time ago. You’re safe now.

The sudden sound of vibrations startle you, causing you to jump. Now more than ever were you glad to be alone. You know how to take care of yourself. You’ve been doing it for a long time. Nobody needed to be questioning that. Standing, you go to the counter where your cell phone sits. An eyebrow ticks at the caller I.D.

“What do you want?”

“Is that how you answer all your calls?”

“I don’t get very many of them. Sorry if my etiquette is lacking. Why are you calling me?”

“I wanted to see how you’re doing.”

Your eyes narrow. “Either you know I have a guest, or you think I’ve been compromised. Which, if it’s the latter, I’m deeply offended.”

“Come on, Val. Y’know I have the utmost faith in you. Is he there?”

“Been here two weeks.”

Soap hums. “We haven’t had any contact. But I figured he’d go far to get a break. The farthest safe house is you.”

He wants peace. They normally do when they come out this far. You offer solace.

“Has he spoken to you?”

You snort. “That’s a negative.”

“Are you at least getting along?”

You look behind you at the blanket spilled on the floor. You think about your empty coffee cup. The first day he came to the house comes to mind.

You hadn’t even seen him. Hadn’t noticed one of the coffee cups was missing from the counter. Hadn’t noticed the sugar not right where you had left it. It had been the coffee pot. It was empty. Brows furrowed, your hand hovered over the handle of the pot. There’s a little at the bottom. You knew that you made some. You hadn’t drank it. Right?

Turning to grab your cup, you froze. A squeak lodged into your throat, hand flying to your back where your gun rested. A large man sat at the counter, an almost empty cup rested in front of him. His gaze was lazy as he stared at you. Unaffected. Black smudge was marked around his eyes making the whites stand out. The mask, you knew the mask. Had heard of it hundreds of times. You didn’t have to ask his name. Huffing out a sigh, you relaxed. Hand dropping back to your side. He watched you a moment more before leaning down to pick up his duffle bag and headed down the hall. You didn’t move again until you heard the sound of the shower turning on.

The silence that lingers between the both of you, though, might just kill you. He hasn’t said a word. You haven’t attempted to either. More so out of pettiness.

“Could be better. Could be worse.”

“Valkyrie,”

“He keeps drinking my coffee, Johnny. I don’t know how to function.”

He hummed again. “Expect a care package soon.”

It’s two days later when the helicopter lands in the middle of the open field. You lean in the doorway watching as packages are being tossed out. Who knew you were this special? You perk up when a familiar face starts heading your way. Heart pounding you push from the house and run. Seconds passed and you were pressed into him. Strong arms wrap tightly around you. Your teeth dig into your bottom lip when it begins to wobble. You didn’t cry. You wouldn’t cry. He’d just laugh at you. Though, maybe not. It’s been over a year since you’d last seen him. He’d never know, but you locked yourself in your bathroom after he called you and bawled for twenty minutes. Being alone was hard. Being away from those you cared about, those you loved, that was even harder.

“What are you doing here?!”

“Came to see my favorite girl,”

“Gross.” Your nose crinkles.

The small moment is cut short by the flurry coming through the trees. Your breath caught, hand grabbing for your gun. Soap steps in front of you, already armed, gun pointing towards the unknown danger. You sigh when the figure comes barreling out of the brush. The familiar white of his mask is drastic compared to the lush, green backdrop. Shaking your head you turn back to Soap.

“This should be fun.” Leaving the men outside you amble inside, setting up the coffee maker for the company you’d have for the day.

Soap didn’t stay long. He and Ghost brought the packages up to the house, shared a few words, kissed you on the cheek, and he was off. You don’t like the feeling he left behind. Don’t like how your chest tightens, your heart aches. It would never get easier.

You’re surprised to see Ghost sitting at the counter. Arms crossed across his chest, eyes raking over the packages. It’s rare for him to be at the house. He leaves early in the morning and comes back late at night. Circumstances were different today. He probably spotted the chopper and instantly ran. That thought makes you slightly lightheaded. He doesn’t know you—knew absolutely nothing, but he still came for you anyway.

“I’ve never known Soap to make house calls.” He doesn’t sound like you thought he would. His accent lilts his words, his voice rough like it’s been dragged through gravel. It gives you goosebumps.

“Guess I’m just special.”

“You’ve got history.”

Your lips twitch. “I’ve known Johnny a very long time.”

He hums, dark eyes on you. You meet his gaze head on. For as long as he stared, you met the dark abyss of his eyes right back. No twitching, no flinching. You took in what he gave you. Which wasn’t a lot. His sleeves are rolled up, exposing a tattoo sleeve on his left forearm. His hands are bare of the gloves he often wore. They’re large, scarred, veins running through them and up his arms. It’s the most exposed you'd ever seen him.

“Who are you?”

You raise a brow, leaning forward to rest your arms on the counter across from him. “You haven’t found that out already?”

“It’s like you don’t bloody exist.”

“You should know all about that, Ghost.”

His gaze lights up at his name. His call sign. His being. He’s like a black hole. But you know there’s stars, hidden galaxies. Every soldier has their well kept secrets. If he’s going to call you out on yours, might as well call the kettle black.

“Have you fucked him?”

You only snort. “He wishes.”

***

Pop. You sit in the living room, your rifle torn apart. After setting your alarm even earlier last night, you were able to get the chores done, drink your coffee while leaving some for your guest. Pop. There’s no biting back your smirk when you see his muscles twitch. You want to twirl the bubblegum around your finger like some lovesick school girl. It’s the oldest trick in the book, and you couldn’t be more thankful for Soap Mactavish. Looking away because you know he can feel you staring, you go back to cleaning your gun. You were a trained professional at one time. You’d like to keep it that way. It’s one of the reasons you ran the safe house. You didn’t like having to rely on people.

Pop. There were always exceptions, though.

An hour later you’re trekking through the woods. Snow crunches underneath your feet, your breath hot puffs of air clouding in front of your face. The cold air prickled in your lungs with every inhale. You were not made for a place like this. Perhaps California. Mexico maybe. Somewhere you can get a tan. You like solitude, though. You like the silence. Maybe it came from years of doing just this.

The wind was not in your favor. You’ve had to adjust three times. This is the clearest your head has been in weeks. Since that man has come into your house. There's something about him that puts you on edge. It’s more than the mask. You haven’t spent a lot of time with him. You can’t pass judgment. But maybe that’s just it. There was a real live ghost in your presence.

Focus. Breathing in only to cough against the burning cold. You lean forward, eye peering through the scope. You can see your targets. Five of them. Each one ten yards farther away from the last. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Finger on the trigger.

You’ve never missed a shot.

A clean hole through the fifth target and you see movement. Heart rate skyrocketing, you’re not nervous. Whoever it is, they couldn’t know where the shot came from. Instinct is telling you to get up and head home, but you're curious. Who the hell else is out here? Who the hell is insane enough to be out this far in this weather?

He appeared out of thin air. His mask blended in with the snow while his gear isa stark contrast. He favors black, much like you do. With your eye still watching through the scope, you see him check each target. Each hit through the center. Not a hair off. You swallow down the anxiety building in you. Slowly he moved away from the target, his gaze taking in the mountain range.

Your heart falls into your ass when his gaze lands on you. Only for a few seconds, but long enough that you know. You can feel it. He knew exactly where you were. The moment passes, and he’s disappearing back into the woods again.

***

“Valkyrie. You were a sniper in the army.”

Oil popped in the pan as you stood over the stove. You had been so sure he’d meet you back at the house. Seems like he had gone and done a little research. Turning the chicken, you peeked at him. He was in the kitchen with you, his back against the counter. He has the plastic skull piece off. Your breath catches when you meet his gaze. His lashes were so long. His eyes were piercing, yet sad. You don’t think he’s perpetually sad, that it’s only the way he looks. It almost feels like you’re seeing him naked. Tearing your eyes from him you go back to cooking.

“How many?”

You sigh. “I don’t know. I didn’t count.” “No?”

“No. It didn’t matter how many, it mattered that I took the shot and it hit.”

“And you never miss.”

He was closer now, breath hitting the back of your neck. Goosebumps break out across your skin.

“No, I never miss.”

He hums before stepping away. Your legs feel like jelly. You never knew a man could do that to you. Flipping the burner off, you ran a hand over your face. It’s been a long day and you were ready for bed.

Later, when you’re getting ready for bed you do the usual lockdown. Blow out any candles, Check that all the doors were locked for the third time. Your eyesight is bleary, eyes begging to close. Socked feet pad as you make your way back to your room. A graveled voice stops you in your tracks.

“When I want something, I never miss either.” Ghost appears in his doorway. “I’d never forget to make more coffee.”

Your lips twitch. It’s been a game, and he was winning.

[torialefay]

hello!! as u know i’m a huge huge fan of ur writing so whenever u have time could i request compatibility w chan??

scorpio sun (9th)

libra moon (7th)

sag in mercury (9th)

sag in venus (10th)

pisces in mars (first)

virgo in jupiter (7th)

pisces rising

thank you !!! <3💋

hey baby. haven’t even looked at your chart yet in relation to channie, but as i was scrolling though, i realized we are v compatible so basically we’re in love now. if things don’t work out between you and chris, come back to me. hehe <3

I’m gonna group by houses for you! Just know that when a planet is in a house, it just means that the traits associated with that planet will manifest in the areas of your life associated with that house :)

1st house: governs your first impression on others and reactions/self-expression in new situations.

Pisces Ascendant: You probably have some sort of whimsical nature (or sometimes I’ll also see a more grungy style) about you that other people quickly notice, whether it’s a quirky aesthetic, fun jewelry, unique or dramatic hand gestures, alluring makeup, or just an overall relaxed and charming presence. You may tend to be on the shy-ish side until you feel comfortable with people, BUT if extraverted, you are likely not overbearing when first meeting someone. You come across as someone who is warm and compassionate, but could also seem like you’re in your own head. You may even come across as “hard to pin down.”

With an ascendant in Pisces, you probably went through either one or a series of events in childhood that were hard to cope with. As a defense mechanism, you learned how to disassociate with the rest of the world. You learned how to create your own world in your head. You can escape to this place now when you are going through a difficult situation. Quite literally, you can just imagine otherwise and ignore reality. While this can have some negative connotations, it also allows you to become quite imaginative and creative. You’re able to see things (especially people) in a way quite unlike what other people can see.

I think this is a really great match to have with Chan. His ascendant in Gemini shows that he is heavily interested in other people when meeting them. He would love the individuality that he could sense from you. I realllllly think that you’d be a person he would be comfortable around you since his 11th house placement (the house of friends) is also in Pisces! If you met, you would more than likely become friends first before jumping into a relationship.

Mars in Pisces: This indicates to me that your are usually not very explosive in arguments, but rather tend to have either a more emotional reaction or a “peacemaker-like” reaction. Although you don’t like confrontation, you can see it as a way to get to understand others better. You are most likely able to analyze people’s reactions when they are angry and act from a place to try to help them. I’ve talked before about Chan’s buildup of anger leading to explosive outbursts when things boil over. This is a pattern you would naturally be able to see in him and work with him on.

7th house: rules platonic and romantic relationships

Moon in Libra: I think this is a GREAT match for Chan. To me, the most important match to have in common with a long-term partner is to have complimentary or matching moons or sun-moon pairings. You have the same moon as Chan (and me hehe <3), meaning that the things you value most are the same. You both need to find beauty and value in everything in your life to be able to feel comfort and peace. You both also value the feeling of being known, understood, and recognized for your inherent goodness. Both of you love to be validated in who you are. I could see you all being a great match because you truly GET each other and want to help each other see what you see in them. You and Chan would have a quiet, understanding stillness on a basic energy level. The way that I like to think about it is the energy between you two when you are just sitting there by yourselves, not talking, just enjoying each other’s company. You have the literal same quiet, peaceful energy in those moments, so just little moments being together can be very healing.

9th house: heavily involved in the way you think about travel, relationships with those around the world, philosophy, spirituality, and education

Sun in Scorpio: Sun rules personality and Scorpio rules love and beauty on a deep, emotional level. Thus, it’s highly likely that your friends would describe you as someone who understands others well and has a certain type of charm. You also likely have a way of thinking or speaking that seems elegant or meaningful. You probably think very deeply about things and love to find beauty in your surroundings. Scorpio has a watery nature- and encapsulates the dark, deep flowing water. You most likely find a certain type of beauty in darkness or can see hope in a time of sadness. This could also feed into your style or preferred aesthetics around you, ESPECIALLY considering your Pisces Ascendant. Scorpios value deep, deep emotional connection. They physically and mentally NEED to understand others. Channeling this into your 9th house placement, you are likely very interested in different cultures and understanding their differences and ways of thinking that are contrary to your own. You likely are interested in and have deeply thought about religion and philosophy, especially in thinking of the world as one unit. You could be drawn to more alternative ways of thinking: magic, astrology, wicca, tarot, universalism, etc. Your Sun in Scorp makes you very understanding of people’s differences, which I think would be a cool thing for Chan to have in his life. He’d be thankful that you were interested in both his Korean and Australian personalities (bc they definitely differ) and wanting to get to know more about their cultures and things he grew up with. He would like the fact that you have a dark, deep, emotional aspect that you can share with just him. I see him taking your personality and molding his around it, pushing his aesthetics into even more of an “all black bad boy tumblr boyfriend” vibe. I think you’d make him sexier tbh lol.

Mercury in Sagittarius: Mercury rules thought and communication, while Sag rules freedom and adventure. This in your 9th house shows me that you are probably a good communicator with all different types of people. You can usually find something in common with just about anyone. You may be interested in learning other languages. You definitely like to travel and would value actually going and seeing these places, talking with the people that live there, to learn more about places than simply watching videos. You most likely also need some sort of outlet to talk about your true emotions. You don’t like being told what you can and cannot say. There are positive and negative aspects about this placement with Chris. I think travel with the both of you would be super fun and spontaneous. You would go absolutely everywhere. HOWEVER, you really value freedom of expression, so you would have a hard time restraining yourself from talking about things since you’d be in the public eye. You’d get really fed up with Chan having to go through the same too. You COULD face troubles in the relationship, especially if it’s something doesn’t want to hide but has to.

10th house: involved in your status in society and how successful others perceive you.

Venus in Sagittarius: Venus is the planetary ruler of beauty, love, aesthetics, charm, and sensuality. Sagittarius, again, is involved in freedom and adventure. It is likely, long story short, that you are kinky and down to try basically anything. Considering your other placements, you probably feel like you NEED to try everything to be able to experience everything you want in life. Your love life with Chan would definitely be spicy… especially considering he’d be equally as kinky. Especially the match up between your Sag and his Scorp in Venus, you would definitely agg each other on to bring both the emotional aspect and the adventurous aspect in the bedroom. Y’all will be trying everything.

In the 10th house, this could manifest as using your sense of love and charm to gain success in life. It is likely that you would be able to move up in society due to your looks or aesthetics. I do think though, that you would bring a lot of new ideas and creations about that would propel you forward. Just be determined to stick with them instead of taking on many new projects at a time.

[apothepoet]

14 Steps Until the Inevitable

14. I remembered nothing from Before, when I first met your eyes. In them, I could see that you didn't remember either. You were just as lost as I was, as to what this strange land was. Our memories, if they’d ever existed in the first place. gone, without a trace. All that we had was this empty world.

13. No one else remembered either. None of the others, of the fourteen of us here, know anything. A shrug is the best any of us can do. We tentatively agree to not fight. For now. We split up, not talking much beforehand.

12. I find that it hurts when you hurt. Literally; physically. Soulmates, we decide is the term. Everyone's got one, we realise after sending out an inquiry. And you're mine. Dread settles deep within my soul, and I'm not sure why. You’re going to be the ruin of me, are you not?

11. We build an empire, in the furthest reaches of the land. Contact with everyone else was lost a while ago. I don't particularly think anyone cares. None of us were that close. It’s just you and me. I have to get used to it.

10. Sometimes it's difficult to remember that I had no life before this. That I don't have any memories. The recurring realisation that I still don't remember, slips from my mind like whenever it occurs. It doesn't stick. It's not like it matters, the world is familiar to me now, just as you are.

9. I don't mind being soulmates with you, I find. The dread still curls within me, for some still-unknown reason. I don't mention it. We're safe within these wooden walls. We have to be. Just you and me.

8. One of the others finds their way to our empire, knocking on the walls quietly. He asks to talk. I don't tell you where I go. I don't tell you about him and the talk at all. But when I meet his eye, the dread that I wear like a cloak, lightens just a bit. He smiles at me. I smile back. You'll be fine. Maybe if I get away from you we’ll both make it out.

7. He visits me in secret, telling me of the plans of the kingdoms built closer together. Of how they want our precious resources, the previous fragile truce forgotten. None of us truly know eachother, afterall. How can we, when we don't truly know ourselves? I have no choice but to tell you what I know. I'll never forget that look of betrayal when you realised who the person beside me is to me. I don’t tell you why he’s with me.

6. I leave, him at my side. I miss you. I spent so much time with you, and now we’re apart. The world feels empty without you, even with him there. He says that he feels empty without his soulmate too, that the world feels monochrome without them. But it's alright; we've got eachother. I don’t know how to tell neither you nor him how much you both mean to me.

5. We get attacked. When we rush back to the empire you and I built, you're already expecting us, gates wide open and relief on your face. I don't think you care anymore. He enters with me. You're just glad that I'm alive. I’m just glad that you still want me, that you’re still here.

4. Things settle, even in the midst of the danger that the others are. You don't forgive me. I don't forgive myself. I never did realise how much that hurt, when I left you. But you still welcome us in, make amends with us both. I tell you that I missed you. You already know that I did.

3. Peace doesn't last, of course it doesn't last. The three of us prepare for inevitable battle, just in time. We stand against our enemies, three against eleven. I know, he knows, you know, that we're not winning this. Still, the three of us stand, together.

2. He never told me who his actual soulmate was. The first person I kill, blood splattering upon my body in a way I'd never get used to, sends him, still at our side, coughing up blood just the same. We have to leave him. I don't get to say goodbye.

1. The loss of him devastates me. It devastates you as well; you'd grown close with him, past issues in the past. But not as much as me. You hold me that night, and tell me that it's alright. I know it isn't. I try to imagine how much worse it would be to lose you, but I can't. In some way, it's comforting knowing that when you're gone, I'm gone too. The dread crawls up my throat now amidst my sobs. It seems I couldn’t run from it afterall.

0. The next battle, I fight recklessly. You're left scrambling to protect both me and yourself, against the incessant blades of our opponents. It's impossible to win two against seven, we hadn't whittled down enough of them. When I get stabbed through the back, a gory smile is on my face as I grin at you, you gazing back in horror. It's inevitable. It feels as though dread is what's spilling from my wounds instead of blood. I never do tell you that I'm sorry. Watching you die right as I do is calming in a way. Maybe I'll see both you and him in whatever happens next.

[trainsinanime]

Over on Twitter I see a lot of self-described “reasonable” people, especially Germans though that may just be my filter bubble, demand, “peace negotiations right now! Stop the escalation of the war!” As far as I can tell, they don’t seem to think at all about what this actually means in practice. So let’s discuss that.

As it stands right now, this war could be ended at any time without any concessions by the Russian government simply deciding to end it and retreat. They’re the ones in Ukranian territory, they’re the ones who have the freedom of choice here. I know there are people who say that actually Ukraine and NATO started the war, but these people are insane, as shown by the fact that neither the current war nor the longer conflict started until Russian troops entered Ukrainian territory without permission.

So then, the fact that there is a war proves that Putin believes that he can reach his goals through military conquest at costs that are acceptable to him. Things like “there’s a war going on”, “Ukrainians are dying” and “Russian soldiers are dying” all seem like things that he’s perfectly okay with, because if he wasn’t, he could just stop that.

For peace negotiations, that means Putin would only agree to a peace treaty under one of two circumstances:

He can reach his goals cheaper that way

He realises that he can’t reach his goals at all.

Option 1 is terrifying for Ukraine, as the massacres in places like Bucha and many others show. Among many other things, Russia is a country with high corruption, no democracy, no regards for human rights, and they made homophobia an explicit state goal. 

Option 2, i.e. fighting the war, is not great either. It causes a lot of death and damage, and the risk of a nuclear strike is always there. But it’s clear that the people of Ukraine, the ones who are impacted by this every day, overwhelmingly prefer this option. I don’t think it’s my place, sitting thousands of kilometres away in Germany, to tell them that they’re wrong. They know better than me. (I don’t think they’re wrong, of course, but my opinion does not really matter either way)

I’m not happy about this. It’s risky, and I’d prefer if this whole thing could end without any further death and destruction. But it seems like that isn’t a realistic option, and that’s strictly because of the choices of the man who some people say we should negotiate with.

Those people are just stupid. I’m all for pacifism, against war, against military, and I am an officially recognised conscientious objector. But sadly it doesn’t work in this case.

In some ways I kind of have more respect for the assholes who tweeted “#NichtMeinKrieg” (#NotMyWar) a few months ago and were like, “why should we suffer high gas prices? It’s not like I care about Ukraine!” They’re despicable assholes, but at least they’re being honest about it. But now, the “peace negotiations now stop escalating!” people are fundamentally advocating the same insane thing, only now they think they’re particularly smart for doing so. They’re truly the anti-vaxxers of this war.

And yes, none of them will see this when I post this here on Tumblr; I’m just writing this because it feels nice to get this off my chest. I hope Ukraine wins, I think Ukraine can win this, and I strongly believe that our government should do way more (specifically: send tanks) to help with this.