#and i don't have the benefit of a time loop to get it perfect

[eddis-not-eeddis]

.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | February 5th-11th 2024

I've bought my first television ever!!!! So I'll be able to watch S7 when it starts! 😆

Also, can you tell that I fell into the Didn't Know They Were Dating tag this week? 😅

Complete

🔥 the distance to the stars by cloudydaisies (Didn't Know They Were Dating | 27K | General): or, everyone knows eddie is dating buck except for eddie, literally.

🔥 epiphanies, soft words, and hushed moans at the brink of dawn by brewrosemilk / @gayhoediaz (Feelings Realization | 19K | Explicit): “Describe your perfect partner for us, Buck,” Chimney says, reaching for his own beer. “Just for fun.” The realization hits him like a logging truck. In only a second or two, his mind manages to flash him about a thousand memories, and then some. From a sweaty Eddie in a black tanktop that should frankly be illegal, to an assuming elf in santa’s village, and a gunshot, and a baseball bat, and you’re the guy who likes to fix things, and - fuck, it’s so obvious. Buck is an idiot. Of course it’s Eddie. How could it possibly, ever be anyone else? 

growing pains by ColorMeParanoid/ @color-me-paranoid (Valentine's Day, Getting Together | 6K | Teen): Or, the one in which Christopher makes a Valentine's Day card for a boy in his class, and Eddie freaks out about it just a bit

🔥 the sleeping curves of my body by catchingpapermoons/ @gayeddiaz (Getting Back Together | 16K | Mature): Eddie Diaz has a problem. “Yeah, obviously,” Christopher mumbles, but one look from Eddie silences him quickly. Because Eddie Diaz has a problem, and his problem is that Evan Buckley has a boyfriend. And it’s not Eddie.

Yellow Is Your Colour by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Canon Divergent, Civilian!Buck | 5K | General): The 118 responds to a call about a man stuck in a slide.

Breakfast In Bed by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Established Buddie | 1K | General): A sweet little moment in the morning with the Diaz family.

One For The Road by DeadlyChildArtemis/ @aroeddiediaz (PWP | 3K | Mature): Eddie’s stressed about having to go to El Paso suddenly. Buck offers a stress relief that he’ll be feeling for days.

the 'i' in ikea stands for 'i love you' by ipretendtobesane/ @useramor (Didn't Know They Were Dating | 3K | Teen): buck has some life changing realizations in the curtain section of ikea. mainly, he's really, really in love with his best friend.

The Taste, The Touch, The Way We Love by Distressed_Ladybug15/ @cadiebug (Didn't Know They Were Dating | 1K | General): “Uh-huh,” Buck laughs quietly and Eddie pokes him in the forehead, and when Buck laughs more Eddie flattens his hand on Buck’s face and covers the top half of it. “This is abuse, Eddie,” he mumbles, bringing his hand up to Eddie’s upper arm. Eddie drags his hand up Buck’s face and into his hair, looping his fingers in the curly strands, “I don’t-” and he’s interrupted by a yawn that takes several seconds, “think so.”

You call the shots babe (I just wanna be yours) by Gay_internet_mafia/ @queercomesthesun (Friends With Benefits, Didn't Know They Were Dating | 3K | Not Rated): Buck is really oblivious. Like really oblivious.

I Love You (I'm Yours) by Distressed_Ladybug15/ @cadiebug (Didn't Know They Were Dating | 4K | Teen): Five times Buck and Eddie hold hands platonically (sort of), plus one time it’s more than that.

'Cause I'm Right Here, Darlin', I'm Right Here by Distressed_Ladybug15/ @cadiebug (Didn't Know They Were Dating | 1K | General): He wants to count the freckles across the tops of Buck’s sun-kissed shoulders, but he has to be honest. There are too many. So he settles for finally reaching out all the way, pressing his fingertips to Buck’s skin as gently as he can.

I'm Already Here (and I Won't Leave Now) by spacebabe17 (Didn't Know They Were Dating, Canon Divergent-S5 | 6K | Teen): 5 times Buck doesn't realize he and Eddie are dating + the 1 time he figures it out

baby don't you know? (you're my golden hour) by ipretendtobesane/ @useramor (Didn't Know They Were Dating, Post-Lightning | 2K | General): Eddie will give him this: Chimney does wait months after Buck’s out of his coma and back by his side to bring it up. “How come you and Buck haven’t told anyone you’re together?”

I can't love you any more (than I do now) by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (Didn't Know They Were Dating | 2K | General): Eddie's pretty sure he and Buck are dating and kind of living together. Neither acknowledges it, until Eddie finally does.

How Come You Didn't Tell Me We Were Dating? I Didn't Know Either! by KaztielCS118 (DIdn't Know They Were Dating | 6K | General): “Omigod, I’m in love with Buck,” Eddie said, burying his face in his hands. “I didn’t mean to cause a crisis,” Frank said. “I’m in love with Buck.” Eddie repeated. “I should not have assumed your relationship with him,” Frank continued on. “I’m in love with Buck.” He’s like a broken record. “Maybe we should end early today.” Frank suggested and Eddie weakly nodded. ~In which case, Buck and Eddie have been dating for six months. Except neither of them got the memo.

call it what you want to by markofalover/ @markofalover (Didn't Know They Were Dating, S6E13: Mixed Feelings | 2K | Teen): “Dad?” “Yeah?” Christopher is quiet for a moment, mouth twisting up like he’s trying to find the right words. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going on a date?” Eddie’s not proud of choking on his spit, but—well, he does that, right in his son’s doorway. ...or, no, of course that wasn’t a date. Wait. Was that a date?

Duet by leviarty (Didn't Know They Were Dating, S6E13: Mixed Feelings | 1,6K | Teen): It wasn't meant to be a date, not really. But it looks like a date, and it feels like a date, and they've been not-dating for far too long.

Date Night by littlechivalry/ @jonlybonlyfromboldlygo (Didn't Know They Were Dating | 3K | Teen): "I guess I am spending the night with a special someone," Buck said, looking over his goodies. It had been a while since he treated himself to a nice dinner. "Well I've gotta hear more about that. You finally get the nerve to talk to Eddie?" - Two phone calls to change Buck's life

darling, if you only knew by fleetinghearts / @shitouttabuck (Love Confessions | 4K | Teen): or, buck’s bad at karaoke, chimney should know better than to indulge in ring-related shenanigans, and eddie’s coping response to raging homosexual feelings is fair, given circumstances

the secrets we keep (the ones that spill out) by sparegarbage/ @babybucks (Didn't Know They Were Dating | 4K | General): The 118 is a close-knit family. It’s not surprising given how much time they spend together: endless hours at the firehouse, barbecues on the weekends, the occasional night at the bar. They’re a family, yes... but Buck and Eddie don’t have to tell them everything. They’re allowed their secrets, really, and it’s not… weird. Really, it’s not. It’s just that sometimes the 118 asks too many questions, and sometimes there’s just no good (or clear or logical) way to explain. Exhibit A: How Buck ended up in Eddie’s bed during a sleepover (and how he’s been sleeping there most nights since).

if i’m honest (it felt like love) by sparegarbage/ @babybucks (Didn't Know They Were Dating | 2K | General): Or: Christopher hosts a sleepover, Buck helps, and Eddie realizes he hasn’t been a single dad in years.

let heart hold true by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Coming Out, Getting Together | 2K | Teen): “But when I was your age,” Eddie continues, “Some people didn’t know that it’s okay. And some people really didn’t like it. So a lot of gay people didn’t tell anyone. Sometimes not even their families.” He takes a deep breath. “I never told your abuela or abuelo when I kissed boys.” Christopher’s eyes go wide. “You didn’t tell me, either.” “I just did,” Eddie says, and huffs a laugh at Christopher’s offended expression. OR: Eddie comes out to Christopher. things snowball from there.

WIP

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 2/18 | 15K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

🔥 A Minor Delay by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (Post-S6/S7 Spec | 10/11 | 38K | Mature): Almost a year after the bridge collapse, a lot has changed. The team are scattered—Bobby and Athena on their Honeymoon, Hen on adoptive parent's leave, and Buck and Eddie... They may still work together, still have movie nights with Chris whenever they can, but things have changed. With Maddie and Chimney's wedding around the corner, Buck tries to make it perfect. And maybe, along the way, he might figure out why everything still feels... wrong.

🔥 because we'll all arrive in heaven alive by callmenewbie/ @puppyboybuckley (Post-S6, Disaster Fic | 4/9 | 27K | Explicit): During a search and rescue, Eddie disappears without a trace, leaving Buck to grapple with the sudden possibility of a life without him.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon, S1 through S6 | 112/? | 321K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

🔥 Precious & Fragile Things by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Small Miracles AU, Angel Buck | 17/19 | 43K | Teen): Buck is the Fallen Angel of Petty Temptation, who has been tasked with tempting human Eddie Diaz to sin and enjoy life, but just a little. He thinks the job will be easy - get in, get out, go back to Peru to continue messing around with eternity. But when Buck arrives in Los Angeles, he finds Eddie is harder to tempt than expected, and more compelling than Buck had hoped.

whatever shall we do by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (Getting Together | 1K | Teen): “When you said renovations I figured maybe we would be painting a room or moving things around, I didn’t realize we were giving your room an entire overhaul,” Buck grunted as he read the IKEA instructions for Eddie’s new bed frame for the fourth time. “This doesn’t even make sense! I put that thingy exactly where it said!” “It’s your fault for not asking for clarification,” Eddie replied serenely, holding up two paint swatches against the wall and comparing them. “Frank thinks that making this space more personal will help with….well, I don’t know. But apparently it’s going to help with something.”

Kiss Me Once Cause You Know I Had A Long Night by I_still_dont_understand_13 / @sherlockcrossing (Prompt collection | 26/? | 17K | Teen): 100 kiss prompts.

Chapter 26. 43. Wrapping your legs around your lover's body as they lift you 

Re-Read

🔥 situations, circumstances, miscommunications ( i just may like some explanations ) by heartbeatdiaz / @loserdiaz (Didn't Know They Were Dating | 4K | Teen): "You didn't know?" Eddie asks, calmer but not less confused. He frowns. "How could you not know?" "You never said anything?" Buck tilts his head to the side. "We were dating?” “I guess not,” Eddie sighs. His heart is beating a little faster, an unpleasant buzz beneath his skin as he all but chokes on a feeling he can’t quite name— it could be hurt or disappointment or maybe a mix of both. In that moment, he knows three things very clearly. 1. Buck is going to be the death of him. 2. He is in love with the most dense, most oblivious man on planet Earth. 3. He is too gay and, honestly, too old for this shit.

[beatcroc]

on the peppinos, postgame

i like to think the peppinos are pretty good friends now, but that certainly wasn't always the case. in fact i think they were both pretty terrified of eachother for a good couple months or so after the tower's fall. here's a moderately-sized ramble on how they went from one end to the other, with some extra thoughts on their current dynamic.

peppino's deal here is pretty obvious. being anxious and afraid of everything all the time is like his main character trait, but frankly he has every reason to be terrified of fake pep even aside from that, given the... you know. the everything. everything that went down in and around their fights, and just the nature of what fake peppino is-both as a general horror creature and also, specifically, as some kind of fucked up parody of himself that exists for reasons unknown to anybody. the only reason peppino let fp hang around in the first place was out of fear of pissing him off and getting attacked if he did try to take some action to Remove him. he tries his best not to invoke that, and stays far away from fake pep.

but fake peppino is also pretty terrified of peppino for the same reasons- he's really only ever seen peppino at his most violent, he's already gotten his ass kicked twice, and what's more he's acutely aware that he's on borrowed land and borrowed time out here. he only went to pizzeria in the first place out of instinct and because he didn't really have anywhere else to go without the tower, but he knows damn well that this is not his turf to be hanging out on, and that peppino has every right to defend it if he wants. he tries his best not to invoke that, and stays far away from peppino.

unfortunately, neither of them are perfect at that, and both of them are peppinos, so...

their paths do tend to cross on occasion. fortunately, neither of them actually want to fight again, so these run-ins never escalate to conflict, and end with them both scrambling away as quickly as they spot the other.

as it goes, time passes and they get more used to eachother at a distance; fake pep being naturally curious and poking around despite his reservations, and peppino sorta noticing fp is skittish whenever he ventures a bit past his usual boundaries. with that and the fact they've never actually had any violent encounters with eachother, peppino eventually catches the vibe that "oh maybe this thing isn't just here to menace me''. there is definitely still the aspect of "why the fuck is this freak here and what does it want" to deal with, so he doesn't drop his guard entirely, but he does go from ardent avoidance to more a... neutral observation.

and it's a bit of a positive feedback loop; fp seeing peppino being less Reactive about him means he's less worried about being Retaliated Upon & thus a bit more venturous still. perhaps even enough to be seen Inside the restaurant...?

from here it doesn't take long for peppino to start seeing fake's, uh, utilitarian benefits. he eats the rats so it's free pest control, and noise seems really afraid of him too which is funny as hell, so pep just kinda starts going lik ''oh lmao ok maybe this is kind of cool''.

for fake pep i think it was just... the first time peppino showed him any kind of thanks or congratulations for such. a moment of "??? does he like that?? does he like me?? do i not need to be afraid of this guy???" and so this is where fp starts trying to Deliberately interact with peppino a bit, and things just kinda grew from there.

i think it's neat because while peppino may have been the first to get over his fear and technically 'be accepting' of fp [shockingly???], it still takes the both of them because without fp trying to Initiate something, i really don't think pep would have ever gone out of his way to Give A Shit or achieve anything besides a mutual tolerance.

it is also so funny because like. i think peppino still is not seeing his end as anything more than a tolerance. sure, by now he knows fake pep likes him a lot, but as far as he's concerned he still only keeps fp around because he's '"'useful''", and because he thinks "ohhh i guess this guy is just never gonna leave ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i guess there is nothing i can do about this ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" when in reality it would take very little to drive fake pep off, and also, i need to reiterate, peppino has very much already beat fp's ass twice [when fp actually WAS trying to fight no less!], and could very much do it again if he actually wanted to. he just doesn't want to. he isn't actually any more stingy towards fp for all this, but it also means like, he's never going to give fp an actual "name" because that would be waaaaaay too direct an admission.

i wouldn't call peppino emotionally Stupid or immature, but i like to think he is often very....oblivious of his own actual state even when LITERALLY everyone else knows otherwise.

fp knows bc peppino lets him get away A Lot Of Shit and even openly solicit affections, gus knows bc peppino actually defending fp and/or making an effort to work him with is an insane leap of faith/trust for this man to have made, every random customer who sees the two buddying around knows, hell even noise knows [and is terrified of it] bc why the hell would the most panicky man on earth casually have a freak fucking beast around in the first place?

and nobody really tries to press peppino on this because he is stubborn. it's a good bit of denial, but it's also partially him thinking he's just being logical; "why would i be mean or try to chase him off if he's beneficial?"

if you asked him whether he was gonna give fp a name he'd get all defensive and probably straight up say some shit like ''noo you know how they say if you name it you'll get attached'.' dumbass. you are already attached.

we all know peppino is a nervous animal but really i think they are both nervous animals. pep is a nervous prey animal who's mostly stressed out and afraid for like, self-preservation reasons; and fake pep is a nervous predator animal like a cheetah who needs constant companionship and reassurance or else he's Also going to be very stressed. and they're like weirdly good at covering this for eachother & so trust the other way more than they probably realize.

for peppino it's as simple as "if this guy was going to hurt me he already would have", perhaps with a bit of extra "if this big scary thing is on my side maybe i'll have less to worry about in general" [i mean this mostly in the powerful allies "oh he can kill things for me" sense, but i'd like to think there's a bit of a confidence boost in the sense of "if i can overcome/make peace with this maybe i can overcome other things too" somewhere in there as well]

for fake pep I think a lot of it is that peppino is like completely incapable of hiding his emotions. it makes him very easy to trust in that regard, and for a guy as Unsure about everything as fp is it's very good for him to have that kind of straightforwardness. there's never any guesswork with peppino; if you are doing something he doesn't like or makes him uncomfortable...you will know it. and for the same, on the rare chances he's showing approval, you can be sure that's genuine too.

[kanohirren]

rwby fans really are a different breed huh

imply the show could be improved in any way and they'll get on your case telling you that you're actually a hater if you don't just swallow whole the hot garbage mess that shawcross and luna pull out of their butts when writing a season because they didn't plan out the show from the start and just make it up as they go.

and to all the people who say "whaaat of course they planned it out from the start you just don't understand their vision" you're right about one thing, I don't understand their vision but I don't think they do either. In the Volume 3 Commentary video, it's said that Monty only came up with the Maidens after Volume 2. The Maidens that proceeded to become the driving plot point for the rest of the series to this day didn't exist in anyone's plans when writing the show at the start. Not satisfied? How about the fact that Neo wasn't written in until volume 2 because Monty decided that Torchwick needed a henchman. Neo had like ten minutes of screentime pre-volume 6 but became one of the most popular characters so they decided to make her a major antagonist, even the main antagonist of volume 9. That DEFINITELY wasn't planned before the show started.

I think the show could have been so much better if the plot was planned out from the start and honestly a reboot feels like the way to go to me. Too many times, the writers feel like they're not writing to actually tell a good story but instead they're writing to try and get a reaction out of people. Looking at you, bumblebee. Blake and Yang had one (1) interaction in Volume 2. In Volume 3, Blake runs away at the end as isn't reunited with team rwby until the end of volume 5... but somehow by volume 6 they've somehow become a thing? Literally just shawcross and luna seeing bumblebee being a popular ship in the fndm and going "here you go guys! enjoy!"

It seems like their goal when writing is just to make the audience do this meme

"Whoa, bumblebee! These two characters are canon now and they totally interacted beforehand!"

or alternatively, "Whoa, Neo/Penny is back!"

I could make an entire other post about all the lost potential they had with the plot points that had been set up. Penny the robot girl is killed in volume 3 but surprise she's back in volume 7! That's not an issue per se but imagine the juicy angst steak if Penny's memory had to be wiped or rebooted because they essentially made a new Penny (being a destroyed robot and all) and so she'd forgotted Ruby, her only friend and Ruby thinks she knows Penny but this Penny is essentially a different person. But nope, Penny remembers everything and is a superhero now or something.

Oh and don't even get me started on World of Remnant. If your show can't explain your own lore in a way that isn't making separate lore videos to try and make your world make sense, there's a problem there.

I think this post is long enough though so I'm just gonna leave it at this: I used to really enjoy the show but as it went on the bad writing became harder and harder to ignore and I think the show would greatly benefit from a reboot because nothing of great value would be lost if they never finished the current series. The show had some really good ingredients but the cooks tried too hard to make something unique and ended up with something "technically edible" but not really all that tasty (and fans will insist it was perfect how dare you say anything bad about it but oops there I go looping back round)

[munson-blurbs]

Kinkmas Day 1 (Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader)

Warnings: smut (18+ only, minors DNI!), fingering, unprotected p in v (wrap it up y'all), bondage, light degradation, dom!Steve x sub!Reader, mention of sub!Steve)

WC: 1.1k

A/N: Happy first day of Kinkmas! I hope you all enjoy this first fic. Please leave comments and feedback about what you like and what you don't <3 reblogs mean the world to me.

Kinkmas 2022 Masterlist

--

"Did you have a nice Christmas?" you ask your boyfriend, curled up in his lap. It's a Wonderful Life plays on the TV in front of you, but you're too focused on Steve.

"I sure did, baby," he grins, placing a kiss on the crown of your head. "You always make things special." There's a mischievous glint in his eye as he casually mentions, "I do have one more gift for you." He nudges you off of his legs, leaving you frowning as he goes rummaging in the bedroom closet. When he returns, he's holding a small black bag.

"G'head, open it," he urges, and you eye him suspiciously as you ruffle through the tissue paper and pull out a pair of leather-bound handcuffs. "Wanna try 'em out?" he smirks.

"This seems more like a gift for you than me," you retort wryly, fingering the material. "I mean, who really benefits from me being tied up in bed, unable to help myself, hmm?"

You know the visual of you at his mercy will only turn him on more, and you couldn't be more right. "You're such a brat, y'know that?" he growls, pulling you off the couch and into the bedroom. "Gonna have to fix that."

Steve's strong hands travel up your body, pushing you up against the dresser as his palms pin you by your hips. You feel him stiffen under his dress pants, the ones you'd picked out specifically for Christmas dinner, and you squirm at the idea of completely ruining them.

His harsh chuckle breaks your thoughts. "Getting overwhelmed already?" he teases. "I've barely even touched you, princess."

"J-just love the way you throw me around," you choke out, writhing as he grazes over your lace bra with his thumb.

He nods, picking you up and hastily tossing you onto the bed before climbing between your legs. "That's the last time you tell me what to do tonight, hmm?"

You gasp as he undresses you expertly, leaving you in just your light pink panties. There's a small bow on the front, which drives Steve wild.

"My favorite gift, all wrapped up with a bow," he muses, grabbing the cuffs from where you'd placed them on the bedside table. You hear the snap of the metal buttons opening before he's sliding them around your wrists, chain looping through the bed frame spindles.

"Tug," he orders, and you do as you're told. The metal clangs against the bed, but you can't move. "S'good?"

"Y-yes, Stevie," you murmur, biting your lower lip in anticipation of his touch.

"Good," he says, kissing your lips gently. "Let me know if that changes, 'kay?" He tuts at your nod. "Uh-uh. Words, princess."

"Yes, I-I'll tell you." But you don't foresee that happening, already wet after being tied up for just a moment.

Your desire is only amplified when he strips off his own clothes, and you let out a groan of frustrated. "Wanna touch you," you whimper pathetically, straining against the cuffs.

"Poor thing," Steve sneers, pulling his hard cock out of his boxers. "I'll touch myself for you." Using his thumb to smear his precum along the length of his shaft, he starts to fuck his fist right in front of you. "Can't wait until I'm inside you, baby girl. Can't wait until this is your perfect little pussy wrapped around me."

You try, unsuccessfully, to wriggle out of the cuffs. Steve catches you and grabs a wrist with his free hand. "You're so bad, trying to get off before I tell you to." He tightens his grip as she stares into your eyes, now misty with tears of frustration. "I was gonna make you feel good, but since you tried to cheat the system, I'm not sure about that anymore."

"P-please," you whine, "I'll be good; I promise."

"I dunno," Steve frowns playfully, still tugging on his own length, "maybe I'll just make you watch me cum."

"No, Steve, I won't try to touch myself anymore. I'll wait for you; I'll do whatever you say." Your pleas are so desperate that he can't help but give in, tugging down your panties and rubbing small, methodical circles over your clit. Your hips buck up involuntarily at the sudden pleasure.

"S-sorry," you mutter, "didn't mean to--"

Steve leans down and nips at your earlobe before whispering, "Couldn't help it? Just a little slut who can't control herself around me."

"Only you," you agree, inhaling sharply as his middle finger makes its way inside your wet cunt. "You're the only one who could ever make me feel this good."

"Say my name," he demands, and you repeat it over and over, getting louder when you feel a second thick finger pressing against your walls. "Ready f'me?" he cocks his head and shakes his hair out of his eyes.

"Been ready, Stevie," you moan, and you feel his tip push into you as he lets out a groan of his own. He eases into you inch by inch until he's inside, filling you completely.

"Thassit, fuck, so tight," he pants, thrusting harder. You want nothing more than to leave scratches down his back, marking him with those perfect red lines. Steve's hands, meanwhile, leave no part of you untouched; he's got one on your hip to hold you still and the other on your pebbled nipple, squeezing and pulling it while he pistons inside of you.

"Wan' touch you all over," you echo your earlier statement, hoping he'll cave and uncuff you, but your begging is met only with a snarl.

"Don't be--holy shit--greedy, baby," he warns, "or I'm gonna have to punish you even more."

"Try it," you taunt him. "Bet I can take it."

Steve's eyebrows shoot up; he was obviously unprepared for you to talk back to him. The hand on your breast moves to your throat, slightly closing off your airway.

"Learn your lesson yet?" he questions cockily.

You tug on the chain and grin. "Never."

His hips snap into yours, rutting against your g-spot. "Can't hold back anymore," he cries out. "Cum with me, princess. Cum all over my cock like the slutty little brat you are."

With that, you come undone, and your orgasm comes in waves. You feel his own warm, sticky release painting your insides.

When he pulls out of you, you whine at the emptiness, making him laugh. "Not enough for you?" he teases.

"Was s-so good, Stevie." You look at him sheepishly. "Can you let me out of these now?"

"Oh!" he jumps up. "Yeah, of course." But he pauses before doing anything, biting his lip and shaking his head in disbelief.

"Steve!"

"Sorry, sorry," he smiles, not at all apologetic. "Just...wow. Can't believe how perfect you are."

"Shut up," you roll your eyes. "Just wait until I use them on you."

He's never gotten harder again faster in his life.

--

[mermaidchan05]

Vesuvia Weekly: "We're going to Disney World!"

(Insert "When You Wish Upon a Star" audio here)

I guess this one kinda looks like the "explaining our world to the M6" prompt if you squint?

Yeah I don't know how to explain the real world to people in the real world, so... imagine a scenario where the M6 has somehow been transported to our world, and then introduced to movies. And upon being introduced to Disney movies specifically, clearly the next step is a trip to Disney World. Here's some headcanon bullets for how I think a trip with the four main LI's I write for and their loves would go!

Julian (and Damian)

Julian is living.

Seriously this is one of the best days of his life.

He knows theater magic, and he just stepped onto the world's biggest interactive stage.

It's extra magical with Damian there.

Thanks to Damian (who is a gamer at heart), Julian now knows as much about computers as he possibly can, so “this ride goes this way because of a computer command” makes perfect sense to him and it is wonderful. 

He was very nervous about going on the Haunted Mansion at first, and if he had just gone unprepared he would have hated it. But he had Damian by his side, and Damian has all the behind-the-scenes information. He’s talking Julian through every single trick and story concept, and it is fascinating. 

Julian is entranced by the Pepper’s Ghost effect now and he’s going to try it out the second he gets home. 

Get this man on Pirates of the Caribbean, stat!

Julian sees Flynn Rider in the parade and starts rambling about whether or not he could pull off a part like that. 

(oh no now everyone is going to be introduced to the idea of cosplay...) 

Asra (and Meleia)

Best day of their life Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Asra practically needs one of those child leash backpacks he is looking at everything.

There is so much to see and so much to do and everything is beautiful and fascinating and you walk down the street and end up in an entirely different world...

It's practically as fun as exploring the Magical Realms. And here he has sights and activities and food that he's never even dreamed of.

But the best part for him is just reveling in Meleia’s joy.

Meleia loves Disney. She loves Disney World. And she adores sharing all of her favorite rides and shows and restaurants with Asra. 

And Asra loves seeing her so happy. The two of them are basically wrapped up in an endless feedback loop of childlike wonder and whimsy and it’s incredible. 

While they see the benefit of skipping the lines, Asra can also thoroughly enjoy just interacting with all the fun queues. Catch them almost stalling the line to spot every single one of Tinkerbell’s hiding spots and play with his own shadow in the Peter Pan’s Flight queue.  

(Since it's his favorite Disney movie according to the og devs) Asra absolutely goes on a hunt for every single possible piece of Emperor’s New Groove merchandise he can find. Comes out with a surprising amount of it despite no one else actually seeing anything. Where did this come from, Asra? 

Collects those little plushies with magnets that can sit on your shoulder. Has a new Shoulder Buddy for every day of the trip.

Nadia (featuring a brief appearence by Portia and Chimalus)

Nadia is the Ultimate Planner

She loves puzzles, she knows all about how to organize people, and the gang just dropped the world’s biggest organization puzzle right in front of her. 

She is on it. 

There’s a long list of things that everyone wants to see? And they have a limited time to do it all? No problem.

She did the research. She found the best possible times to get everything done. And now she has a color-coded schedule, complete with contingency plans. 

She could have just done one of those fancy VIP tour things, but this is much more fun. 

She knows exactly how to Navigate the parks despite never being there before.

Disney World has a gift shop practically around every corner. This is the perfect place to spoil all of her friends.

She will find a way to secretly buy things for everyone. Sometimes even while they are all exploring the same store.

Gets the perfect fancy dining reservations.

Absolutely sets aside time for people to break off into smaller groups.

Since she knows that Chimalus doesn't do loud noises, and Portia desperately wants to see the fireworks, Nadia would absolutely book one of those fancy Dinner and Fireworks experiences where you can admire the show from a safer distance while also enjoying delicious food.

She makes several mental notes for the next Masquerade. New goal: Outdo Disney. If anyone can pull it off, it's Nadia.

Portia (featuring a brief mention of Chimalus)

One might think Portia would be the second person you’d want to give a child leash-backpack to, but no.

She’s not going anywhere without "dragging" as many people alongside her as she can.  

In a beautiful world where the original Fastpass system is still in place (because it was scientifically proven to be the Best One) Portia is the one running to the kiosks to get The Perfect Fastpass.  

This girl has never been on a trip like this, but she has still somehow mastered the art of the Disney World Mom Bag.

Ponchos for the rain? In there. Bandaids? Covered. Snacks and water bottles? Oh, absolutely. 

She even brought ear protection for Chimalus, so nothing could stop them from enjoying every experience.

Absolutely cries over the fireworks.  

She has also discovered the joy of a camera. She will find time to take the best possible pictures of everyone, and no one knows how she pulls it off.

For Portia, this isn’t just a place where all those fun new movies she’s just learned about comes to life, it’s the place where some of her favorite childhood stories are actually real. And she loves it.  

Has about a million ideas for writing her own books when she gets home. Chimalus highly encourages this and can't wait to read what she comes up with.

[mobius-m-mobius]

I love how much of a feedback loop Owen and Tom are regarding Loki and Mobius. It's like, Owen quoting Tom's quote about Loki as Mobius. Loki quoting Mobius. Mobius quoting Loki. Tom quoting Owen as Mobius during interviews about Lokius. Don't wanna call them insane for this but fr they're like a couple of theater nerds with their fave characters enabling each other lol it's so cute. Which kinda makes Tom seeking out Owen in his own home to talk about Loki some more makes perfect sense because how often did he get to just infodump his feelings about his character with someone and having such a receptive response.

You're so right!! 🥺💖

"I can play the heavy keys too" is pretty much always on my mind because what a full circle moment to show Owen really took everything about the Loki lectures and Tom's dedication to heart, and once again is just another example of how they may approach the job in different ways but are no less equal in dedication to the craft or having that giddiness in finding a kindred spirit to recite poetry with to set the mood when no one else gets it, lol

It clearly meant so much to Tom when after spending who knows how long discussing his thoughts about who Loki is and what his motivations are to everyone in the s1 cast/crew, to then take this extra time with Owen getting even more in depth with the entire MCU journey and have him not only absorb those details in a way which benefited both of them as actors and in building character development but to then immediately turn right back around and ask what playing Loki meant on a personal level because that mattered just as much in his eyes.

Similar to Loki and Mobius, Tom and Owen seem to share the similarity of Tom going into these grand, expansive moments of exposition that lead into Owen cutting through with a single line that somehow encompasses all that and more as you instantly see them fall on the same page. Their friendship is really something so no wonder it's led to the kind of love and understanding in Lokius that's rare to find 💖

[braininatankwithalaptop]

I have torn thoughts on Red Robe's characterization in Mother of Learning.

On the surface, one can draw a parallel between his villainous motivations and those found in lazy action movies. "The bad guy is the radical extremist trying to destroy an unjust system instead of doing nothing like the good guys." But as I thought about the protagonists, Zach and Zorian, I found the parallel isn't the same. Zach and Zorian really aren't defenders of the monarchy, the noble houses, or the status quo. Zach ends the story fighting a legal battle to right a wrong done to him and Zorian ends up as the ambassador to the aranea to help them establish official diplomatic relations with Cyoria. Sure, neither character is specifically politically ambitious, but that seems to be from a sense of humility or desire for rest than actual satisfaction with the status quo. So, what is the actual foil between ZZ and Jornak?

We don't get a lot of specifics with Jornak's characterization, but two details stand out to me. 1) Jornak discovered the deepness of eldemar's/ikosian empire's corruption during a time loop that he had to cheat to retain awareness of. 2) Quatach-Ichl betrays Jornak partially by revealing his plan to hold Zorian's friends and family hostage because Jornak believes that the first ikosian emperor used the time loop to ascend to power and wants to use the same power to conquer the continent. Let's start with the first detail. Jornak discovers in his research that the injustice that happened to him was a result of systemic problems. He couldn't fix those in a month by himself in increments, which is the only time frame he had within the time loop. But he could support the invasion, he could leverage it to destroy *everything* standing in his way and be free to start over from scratch. The only way he could feel like he was making progress was by consolidating more personal power and perfecting the outcome of a horrific invasion. And he knew that the "boon" of the time loop was not designed with him in mind. It was made for Zach in mind and Jornak was terrified of being cut out of the picture and exploited like he exploited everyone else and was exploited. So he had to make a deal with Qautach-Ichl and Panaxeth, further committing him to the invasion as his only course of action. So, his actions are extreme but kind of understandable and sympathetic? But if we look at the second detail of Qautach-Ichl's worries of him we see he's making the same mistakes that he claims are the reason for the systemic injustices today. Jornak wants to "follow the cycle" as it were, and become emperor like Shutur Tanara with his boon of the time loop. He consolidated immense magical power, skill, and political/psychological insight of important actors in the world. All he had to do afterwards was become emperor and instead of being bad like him, be good. Easy, right? But for that to work he still has to conquer the continent which one can't and shouldn't do without committing so many atrocities and compromising so many morals. He may not establish the same systemic injustices but if he doesn't he will make different ones. Jornak sees the cycle of the time loop being an unfair advantage and allowing one madman to reshape the continent as they see fit and decides he's going to ensure he's the madman in hopes of making the world better. And here we see ZZ truly promising something different by not doing that. It is a repeated character motivation of Zorian's and Zach's that they wish to pay people back for the support they received in the timeloop. They consolidated power and then worked on ensuring others got the benefits of it too. The two of them aren't planning on being the singular most historically important people to culture and civilization, they want to give their own (partially) realistic contributions and help their friends do the same. Zorian isn't going to be the one that publishes revolutionary medicinal and alchemical techniques, but Kael might. Zach won't go down in history for single handedly hunting down and dismantling groups of necromancers and cultists, but Alanic and his sect of the church might. They are so committed to helping their friends, and Zorian especially seeks to achieve their goals not through dominance, but through diplomacy. Zorian and Zach's diplomacy and "political" intrigue are so integral to how they win in the end that I'm tempted to say the author read On the Origins of War: And the Preservation of Peace or something similar. Zorian secures an alliance with Spear of Resolve by proving his trust and alluding to helping a rival. Zorian gets important information out of Qautach-Ichl by making a cogent and good faith argument for him to not support the invasion. Zorian gets Oganji to flee the battle by giving up valuable artifacts in a bargain. And most importantly, the angels cut a deal with Zorian and Zach to not enforce certain clauses of the law if Zach and Zorian can skirt the letter of it.

I think if you really comb over how Zorian and Zach interact with antagonists, how others try to get what they want, and characterizations of conflicting people/organizations, politically speaking the story is about how important it is to compromise your goals in the name of results and your ethics as opposed to compromising your ethics in the name of your goals. ZZ break a cycle of exploitation by refusing to forget others and paying back debts. Jornak's bitterness and despair push him to make a deal with the "devil" (primordial) and fight for the short term, corrupt solution. I think this is the most good faith interpretation I can have about the character dynamics and themes of the book but who knows? I might be wrong due to projections.

[flownwrong]

Shipping bingo: rayk/fraser let's see if we can get bingo baby

okay I admit I cheated a little just to get a bingo but LET ME EXPLAIN

- comfort ship: self-explanatory

- criminally underrated: as of 2023, haha. I'm on a mission to convince more people to get into due south regardless of shipping anyway

- I could write essays: but I would prefer to write fic. and here's to me getting more confident about it

- fanon gets them so wrong: I don't know the current fanon, and what I can intuit from heaps of good fic left from The Times is a lot of varying but good fanon. however, in my imaginary discussions with an active fandom I am pretty sure I would find things to be ornery about because they're really easy to distort into stereotypes

- from what I know about Freud, he'd have a field day with just about anything. so I think I can safely include this one (also, I do have ray asking thatcher about not knowing who you are without another person playing on loop in my head)

- no one gets them like I get them: see above. there are many glorious and precise takes immortalised in fic but I can always find something I would tweak just a little to make it that much closer to my vision (which, oh well, I need to git gud at writing to keep my dignity while nitpicking the superior writing of others)

- facebook status: they would absolutely both think it's complicated. which it is, wonderfully so, canon timeline especially, but on fundamental level they're always just careening towards fitting together like puzzle pieces, so THEY'D THINK SO, BUT WE KNOW BETTER. also, watching ray, a shitty facebook user, make fraser a facebook account would be hysterical (because let's face it, fraser would never otherwise)

- it would never work in canon: here's my ultimate bingo cheat. because boy, does it ever work in canon. I can only explain it like so: in my perfect imaginary timeline they would never actually form a stable romantic bond without some serious soul-searching post-cotw. which is catnip to me because they really DO the puzzle pieces thing, but man, are they a ways away from communicating that to each other or even themselves, canonically (ffs ray's still waiting for the other shoe to drop AND not exactly serene re:Stella and fraser is so much reeling from the avalanche of finale happenings he can't see that and still hasn't fully learned the lesson about not being an island and I bet you my left hand they would be extremely unequipped for deciding where to go from there, so they'll definitely need the shiny quest liminality and then some to get it)

- I have so many questions: but mostly why are you both so blind arghh (and thank god for that, it's the driving force of my adoration and an endless exploration ground)

- they should go to therapy together: you know what, I really wouldn't mind. it'd be hilarious. but also didn't someone (speranza??) write a whole fic that takes it seriously that you recced and I keep putting off because I know it'll destroy me in ways both good and bad? because I can roll with that too

- I don't think THEY know what they have going on: again, thank god for that. they really don't. it's heartbreaking and adorable in equal measure.

- literally perfect, no notes: I say, after writing many notes. but now's the moment when I publicly admit they have a stronger grip on my mind than sam and dean do—at least currently, we'll see about the long run. because I'm mushy af even with my angst and miscommunication enjoyment and they're a dream come true for my sappy sappy heart.

- also, they could never do friends with benefits. they'd think they can, but no, they can't. it's a rock fact.

here, come, look at my embarrassing admissions!!! thanks for asking, I'm fucking dying to talk about them at all hours of the day.

[andiatas]

So many thoughts: a note for my own benefit

I changed the settings ages ago, so posts containing the names of, or are tagged with, Prince Harry & Meghan Markle are flagged. I have to press to view & see the contents of those posts. But from now on, I will have to take some extra measures or, I don't know, monitor myself so I don't digest any more stuff about them...

I try not to actively seek out stuff about that couple; they're not worth my time or energy, but hey, I'm only human & I happen to be someone who loves a good gossip session & loves when people "spill the tea". So despite the safety & "peace of mind" measures that I've taken, I tend to be in the loop whenever shit hits the fan in the royal community (not always, but often).

I don't know what exactly changed this past week. Maybe it's all the drama combined with me being stressed out of my mind about my studies & my financial situation... As someone who has survived growing up in child abuse, as someone who for two decades has had to (& partly still has to) manage abusive family members, but most importantly, abusive biological parents, this past week has been really triggering.

(I'm putting the rest of this post behind read more since I'm discussing abusive behaviour)

It could be a combination of factors which has created a perfect storm. I mean, nothing of what the Harkles has pulled out these past two weeks is new & it hasn't triggered me before. So why is it triggering to me now? I don't know.

My biggest triggers, at least that I'm aware of, are when it feels like I get my reality questioned & when others try to put thoughts, feelings or words in my mouth. My biological parents were experts at hammering in, "Oh, it wasn't like that!" or "No, you're just imagining things!" or "We know you're thinking XYZ, but..." or "We know, you must be feeling XYZ right now, but..." That's (unfortunately) not unique to them, but still, any slight hint of that sort of behaviour & my inner alarm goes off.

I actually caught myself thinking yesterday that it almost feels like we're (hopefully, fingers crossed) nearing the end of a five-year, nearly six-year-long abusive relationship. I've seen a lot of royal watchers - I think I'm even guilty of it myself - talk about how Harry has been isolated from his support system & how that's the first thing an abuser focuses on (looking at you biological parents who convinced me I was a horrible, dumb, ugly & hopeless person who didn't have nor deserved to have any friends). It's also frequently talked about how Meghan has tried to position herself as Diana & how she often uses language to remind Harry and the public about his mum. You know, trigger that instinct: "This is just like with my mum. I need to protect this person because I couldn't protect my mum". But something that isn't as frequently discussed is how not just Meghan, but actually both of them, how both Harry & Meghan are gaslighting us.

Now, I hate how much of a buzzword that has become & I don't use that word lightly. But that's how I feel like they're treating us, how they're treating the public. In the beginning, I thought it was because they lacked strategy & that they couldn't keep their lies straight. Maybe that's actually the case & perhaps I'm just reacting a bit strongly due to personal trauma. Who knows? But these past two weeks, it's almost as if Harry & Meghan (& Omid) are trying to make me question reality. It's like they're trying to make me ask what's true or not, what is up or down. It's exhausting, it's draining & I'm tired.

First, the story is this way. But no, it wasn't like that, it was like this! But wait, no, that never actually happened. Hold on, so it could have happened, but someone twisted the words to fit an agenda? Wait, what? Now we're back at the original version? Oh, okay... the actual "truth" was a completely new version that no one had heard about until years after the whole thing happened, okay...

All of this back & forth with 15 different stories about each & every single thing with this couple - I mean, for goodness sake! They can't even agree on how they met! Those two have 20 different meet-cutes - it's too similar to gaslighting. The questioning of myself, my memory & my understanding of something. They spin the truth to fit whatever new narrative they have, to the point where most of us gave up a long time ago & just accepted that those two are always lying &/or there is no one truth.

If this is how I feel just from following Harry & Meghan's behaviour through social media & general media reporting... My heart breaks for those in their office when they were part of the Royal House! We know Harry already had a history of creating a slightly toxic work environment & if all those accounts of Meghan pre-2018 are true, it's safe to say she was also difficult to work for. Them together? I can't imagine what those poor Palace staff members had to go through...

I think I've gotten all of my thoughts & feelings down. This was mainly for my own benefit, trying to put words to what I'm feeling. If you have read this far, thanks for coming to my therapy session! I gladly accept donations through Paypal ;)

Me @ me: It's not worth my energy, it's not worth getting triggered over & no, the tea or gossip probably isn't that good. It's not worth it.

[lilolilyr]

A Milippa double-drabble for day 6 of the @startrekfemslashweek: Michael in a time loop

I've been thinking about writing a time loop story where one of them is stuck in the loop alone for so long, she tries different things to break free, nothing works, then she tries to at least have fun during her time in the loop, try to live the perfect day (and getting together with the love interest, in this case Michael with Philippa)... and she has some great days, but when she tries to relive them a small detail goes differently and all goes to hell... and of course even if it does work, all the work is for nothing when the next day starts everything all over again... and at some point she's so frustrated she doesn't want to bother with that work anymore, feeling lonely and frustrated and I mean being stuck in a time loop has got to be a frustrating experience... And the protagonist lashing out in frustration could go any number of ways, and the guilt for doing something wrong that no-one else will know has happened once time runs normally again would be so interesting to explore! But I don't have the time to write that, so I just ended up with this small one-shot :) if anyone is inspired to write more, feel free!

Ficlet under the cut! Warning: kissing without consent

On her twenty-seventh time in the time loop, Michael woke up, and she knew the first thing she'd do upon seeing Philippa was to kiss her.

It couldn't go any worse than the last five cycles of misunderstandings or lies about not having lived this before, and Philippa wouldn't remember it anyway, so what would it matter?

She met her in the turbolift, crowded Philippa against the wall, pressed her lips to hers. 

Saw the shock in Philippa's eyes, the betrayal at stealing a kiss without asking, and at wrecking the balance of friends without any benefits they have held over years. 

Because Philippa doesn't know what Michael has lived. That, in some most beautiful versions of this day when everything went just right, Philippa was the one to slowly lean in and kiss Michael, just hours or minutes before the loop started over again.

Michael stumbled back, suddenly filled with nothing but regret, the loss of the hours spent being loved by Philippa, regret over assaulting her now. Yes, Philippa wouldn't remember any of it, but... it still mattered. 

Turning away, Michael wasn't sure whether she could accept any kisses from Philippa if another day in the time loop went that way again. 

She didn't feel worthy of it.

[isa-ghost]

About how much time a day, or a week do you spend on writing your fic?

Cause I've been reading fics for years, but haven't started writing until relatively recently. I always knew in the back of my head that it took time to write and come up with the stories, but until recently I hadn't even begun to actually understand the time and energy it actually takes to write a fic. both short and long ones.

Now that I've started to think more about it, it would probably benefit fandom spaces a lot to more widely aknowledge the time it takes. It could probably help with the consumeconsumeconsume mindset of fancreations that I know that I've had, and that are present in a lot of fandoms, especially bigger ones

100% that last part, yeah.

See, for me it's even more complicated because not only am I squeezing writing between irl obligations like class, homework, work, family dinner, sleep, etc.

But I also have ADHD, so I'm battling my attention span and the temptations of my hyperfixations, as well as keeping up with my friends, fandom spaces, etc. I don't want to neglect any of those.

But focus is very difficult when I don't have absolutely nothing going on, which means I often need to shut everything completely out (which can take a lot of self control). I'll vanish on my friends and social media for hours, but still pause here and there to catch up on what I've missed for a short while before returning to writing because I HATE falling deep out of the loop and having a lot to catch up on is overwhelming. On top of that, how easily words are flowing and such also impacts how much or how long I write.

So I don't know if I have a simple or precise answer as to how long. But nonetheless, it's HOURS.

So far, for the 4 chapters that are published, I've sat down multiple days in a row OR every other day if I have time-consuming irl obligations, and written as much as I could before something depleted my motivation or I reached a good stopping point. Lately that's amounted to 1-5 paragraphs depending on the scene I'm at.

If it's something my plot plan has left more open-ended, it can take hours for me to work out how exactly I want to get to the next plot point. The Ch 3 Pissa date and stretching out the Ch 4 Eggza day was MISERABLE /lh because it was super open-ended since I wanted to give myself room to improvise, I don't like rigidly over-planning things bc a lot of the fun in writing is filling blanks between points. I get some AWESOME ideas in the moment thar aren't initially planned in my plot. For example, the foreshadowing I included in the Ch 2 nightmare where he hears Missa scream? If you check my post of my plan after I published the chapter, I pulled that out of my ass. It was originally just supposed to be a nightmare where he could hear Fit, Etoiles & Missa yelling to each other. I never planned for him to hear what's implied to be Missa injured.

But even though improvising is important (and required at some points of AMFMN), it's kinda hard to sit down and think of what to do with those parts when your hyperfixation streamer streams 3 days a week and on the days he doesn't, you have class + other things to do + other streams you refuse to miss + friends + etc etc etc and therefore you don't have a perfect distraction-free time to just go ham.

It takes a lot of self-discipline and control to not engage with stuff so I can focus on writing. And even still, depending on how cooperative my brain is that day, that can still be hours of writing.

Generally I try to chip away at least 3 paragraphs or get from one plot point to the next per day until the chapter is finished.

So TLDR; I spend hours a day, which totals to even more hours a week, working on a chapter.

It's equal parts because I get in the zone with writing and smash out a huge amount of the plot points planned for the chapter, OR I'm struggling with flow/attention span/a bunch of other things.

Due to my schedule, Tuesdays, Saturdays and Sundays are usually the best days for me to write. But even still, I have class Tuesday until close to noon, possibly other streams (curse you Sneeg and Fit /lh), work every other Saturday, family daily routine things like dinner, and the occasional plans with irl friends.

So uh. I do be battling the horrors sometimes to get chapters out. But now that Phil is finally possessed, I have a feeling I'll be breezing through things easier. I know a lot of what's happening next and I'm a whore for the drama. :3c

You have NO IDEA how much watching people scream and lose their minds over crumbs and currently published chapters motivates me. I'm so fucking excited for late game fic. Like Chapter 9 onwards. Ohohohough

[peachymilkandcream]

Some belt beating please.

Levi x Evelyn -> Corporal Punishment

(A/N: Thank you so much for the suggestion Anon! I've been dying for these ideas and love doing oneshots. Any other oneshot or headcanon prompt hmu! ^^)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc.

============================================

Levi had been silent the whole walk home, this was the first time he had graciously allowed Evelyn to leave the house since being confined to the house and grounds for months and she had fucked the whole thing up.

The only reason he had brought her out was because people were starting to ask questions, they were wondering what had happened to one of humanity's soldiers. People were beginning to rumour and speculate, some were more tame, like how she had married him to stay home all day but still get pay and benefits from the military. Others were out there, but still a little close to home, such as how he had murdered or kidnapped her and she was being held against her will. Granted, the latter was true. To save face he was forced to bring her out into society for just one night.

A party had been held because some officer he cared nothing about was retiring. He would have rather sat home and been balls deep in his wife but it was the perfect social event to keep people at bay. Erwin was on his side already plus most everyone knew to stay away from him and by association, his wife. And for the most part the evening had been fine, he had threatened her before they left that if she acted out he'd beat her and it seemed like that had startled her. He didn't expect her to act out in spite of it.

Things were going so well until he had gotten separated from her, which was idiotic on his part since he shouldn't have accepted to go and get her a drink. He had thought he'd just be gone a moment but then some drunken asshole started chatting him up.

By the time he came back Evelyn was talking to another soldier and from both of their expressions and the snippets he overheard he knew Evelyn had said a little too much. He couldn't forgive the look that soldier gave him when he separated the two and led Evelyn away. Thankfully he pointed out the soldier to Erwin and knew Erwin would take care of her and have her die a soldier's death before she could talk.

===========================================

When they got home, he marched Evelyn straight into the dimly lit living room, throwing off his suit jacket and tossing it onto the sofa.

"Take your clothes off."

"But I-"

"I don't want to hear another word out of you take your fucking clothes off!"

"I'm sorry-"

"Sorry? Sorry won't cover the fact that I just had to needlessly sacrifice a soldier because you couldn't shut your mouth!" He steps back and rubs his jaw before turning back to her. "You condemned that soldier to death, you know that right?"

Her eyes widen. "Wait, no, please-! Don't kill her because of me- she doesn't deserve to die-"

"I know she doesn't, but because you said something, she dies. Don't you get it? Every time you try and be selfish, someone will get hurt or die. Even now, you can't take responsibility."

"Please don't kill her Levi- I'll take responsibility-"

Levi raises a brow. "You'll take a beating for some random person's life?"

She nods emphatically, peeling off her dress since she knows he likes to see the red marks.

He takes out his belt and loops it before pushing her to the ground and circling her slowly. He finally brings is belt down on her tender flesh, she winces but doesn't make a sound. Her face set to be brave for the sake of someone she didn't even know.

He brought down the belt again, his eyes shown with desire. The way her skin rippled with each blow was addictive, the red welts left behind a symbol of his property and power. As each mark was made he almost considered branding her for a moment. He would just have to be careful nothing went wrong and it scarred up nicely and there was no infection or risk of it messing up. It was certainly an idea to think about.

His erection grew with each sound he coaxed out of her from his efforts, her being vocal made his ego swell. Since he knew whatever he did had an effect no matter how much she denied it.

Finally her skin split and a small trickle of blood dripped down, at least that would take longer to heal than the rest of it, making sure she remembered what she had done and the consequences of it. By now he was practically weak with excitement, it wasn't about seeing her in pain, it was about her being disciplined and learning from her mistakes to eventually be trained into a good wife for him.

"Tell me you love me." He blurted suddenly.

"What..?" She was confused and her voice was quiet from silent crying.

"Tell me you love me, and I'll stop."

Evelyn takes a moment to process if she's actually heard right before she frowns. "I don't love you. I hate you."

He had expected this, but part of him had wished she had lied. "Very well then." His voice had lost the slight softness it had a moment ago, hardened again before he hit her with the belt even harder than before, now she screamed, with each blow she screamed. Levi was almost glad for this, she should be in more pain for saying such a thing to her husband.

"One day you'll love me, I swear it."

[yoiku]

I've been doing some deep cleaning in small bits this week (and some last week aswell), and it's honestly been very rewarding. I fought the eldritch entities born of dried bits of food behind and under the oven and have sorted stuff and taken out a surprising amount of trash in general. especially from the kitchen cupboards. Dunno why i was holding onto broken kitchenware, and sweeping all the expired stuff is good every now and then. (Even if said stuff is dry/canned goods and such, which only have a best before date.) I don't really mind cleaning in general, and I do little things like vacuuming and dusting a lot due to cat hair etc. I rarely see the need to do a proper sweep and destroy bc it's just me and the cat. But now that I have someone coming for a visit I finally have a reason! xD Last time i had anyone visit was 3 years ago so about time as well.

I've also done a few commissions for friends and their friends, and at least so far it's been fine. Talking about my head here. Haven't felt stressed about it and there's been very little of "i don't feel this is good enough" going on in my mind palace. So that is a good sign. I've been unable to gets comms going properly mostly because I haven't felt good enough about the pieces i've made regardless of how happy the commissioner has been. And that very quickly sends my head to the shadow realm, getting stuck in that "I didn't do a good enough job AND i asked money for it" -thought loop. For a good while I've also felt shitty about being that person who keeps saying comms will happen and they never fucking do. lol. I really am my own worst enemy.

But I am feeling better now it would seem, and I would very much benefit from being able to do comms more. It will be time away from my own stuff (mainly the comic) but I feel like I could do comms every other month. So i'd have a month of focusing on whatever and then a month where comms will be a priority. That way feels more careful so I won't fry my brain. I also got an invite to VGen yesterday, so I think I'll give a that a try once I've finished some example pieces and decided on prices. It might or might not be for me. Part of me finds it more comfy to communicate more casually with commissioners over a chat or email, but a part of me also wonders if using a service like VGen would lighten the workload. That's more on the side of I am presented with enough information through forms/sheets at the start or such, instead of back and forth chat. That sounds less taxing but I might also be left with a feeling of "I want more details and opinions about this or that thing requested". I dunno! But it's worth giving a try, so at least then I'll know.

Part of me is also very interested in the surprise (skeb?) type comms where you make a pic based on info and that's it. No revisions, no step by step progress. You get what you get. On one hand that feels really quick and easy but on the other hand knowing my brain... It also sounds like it could end up being the perfect trap for forever worrying that what i did was good enough. Perhaps I'm still not strong enough for those.

Anyway on with the cleaning I think it's time to sort my wardrobe and take out all the recyclable cardboards.

[sleepygaymerdisease]

Is it weird if i ask for your interpretation of that tmbg song? Great video btw <3

i think that I've Got A Match is about two people who don't fit together as a couple. one person is insisting that everything is fine (Positive), while the other is intentionally pointing out their flaws as a couple (Negative), leading to an unfortunate mess where neither of them are happy. the negative one is constantly trying to get the other's attention to say this isn't working. but instead of acknowledging their dynamic, the positive one blames themself for all the faults in the relationship and continues onward. Negative is trying to get Positive's attention but can't figure out how. Negative tries making themself look like the bad guy to make a reason to leave the relationship, but Positive doesn't believe it and says that they should work it out. it's like a tragedy because they're both trying to communicate with each other but it's not working. they can't get to the root of each other's problems, so in the meantime they're mostly dealing with the symptoms, which makes both of them feel bad. so they have a choice stay in the relationship and continue the painful charade of perfection, or leave each other and no longer be in each other's lives. the song alludes to that in the chorus, where the word "match" can either mean a pair meant for each other or the fire starter.

i chose the song for the cagliostro vid because Lupin meeting Clarisse totally shakes up his worldview. lupin, a character who usually gets to live purely in the moment, is forced to reflect on his past. he goes out of his way to save Clarisse even though he doesn't directly benefit from this at all. and every character notices this. like, he went to cagliostro because of the bills, but the entire plan was thrown out the window the moment he ran into clarisse. lupin does a good thing by saving clarisse, but by doing this he accidentally presents himself as a good guy, when he thinks of himself as a villain and a thief. and clarisse, seeing the good in lupin, tries to convince him to stay with her, and to let her be a thief too. throughout the movie clarisse and lupin both go out of each other's way to help each other. they care about each other a lot but they have serious conflicts in worldview. and by being in each other's lives they both end up putting each other in serious danger. every time they embrace in the movie it's to move each other out of harm's way, with the exception of the last hug which freaks out lupin. lupin feels like he can't explain himself, and he's not really sure he actually wants to either. he doesn't want to open up and he doesn't want to loop someone else into his life when he feels like he's a lost cause. and he doesnt want clarisse to end up like him. so thats why he ends up leaving at the end of the movie but he feels really bad about it until the last 30 seconds of the movie where he gets thrown back into his normal theivery routine

[fanstuffrantings]

Okay no I'm actually going to talk about some of the readers of this because it's pissing me off and I need to rant. Trigger warning for a comic involving: miscarriage, suicidal ideation, abuse, torture, and general tragedy.

I've been reading my Beloved Oppressor for a few months. Keeping up with it and enjoying it. It's a very, very heavy comic though and not one I can recommend to everyone because of the content. The author presents us with two leads who have vastly different life experiences. We have a traumatized male lead who went through unimaginable torture during his military life, who grew up impoverished and fell for the female lead. And the female lead who lived her life in blissful ignorance of any torment or tragedy the common folk suffered at the hands of her father's rule. Benefiting from pain and blood. A kind girl yes, but one who (we discover) was willing to overlook questionable things to keep her peace.

Neither of them are perfect people. The male lead after overthrowing the monarchy becomes neglectful and emotionally abusive towards the female lead as he loops her in with the rest of the royal family, but also due to his love for her is incapable of simply executing her or letting her leave him.

Meanwhile the female lead spends so much time trying to return to a time when both of them were happy and blissful, a time that never truly existed but she wants.

A major point in the comic for the female lead is the acceptance that her naivety doesn't make her innocent. People around her were executed or tortured as her father commanded to keep his power and she would at times note moments but choose to turn away. She has a very important conversation with a woman who's brother was executed by her father, where our female lead takes fully responsibility for her preserving her peace being a bad thing.

It doesn't mean that her abuse, her miscarriage, the call for her death are justified. The state she's in currently is tragic as can be and the author wants us to know that. The author isn't pretending like the male lead hasn't been horrible because we're supposed to believe he has been.

But just like us seeing the story from Annette's view, Heiner's story is just as important because it is showing us how corrupt society was. It's showing us the view from someone who didn't have security or the chance to simply look away from things that were bad. Heiner had pretty much no choice in becoming a child soldier and his time in the military warps him entirely. It doesn't justify his actions but we need the story of the commonfolk, we need to know why heiner is the way he is because he's not some one note mustache twirling villain who hates Annette for no reason. His backstory is a crucial part of the story and pretending like him being horrible negates his trauma because heaven forbid we get imperfect victims, is driving me insane.

Now I don't know how the author plans to write this, I think there's a potential that Heiner actually seeks out help for his trauma and speaks to someone because he has gotten to a point of self reflection, but also I genuinely don't know if the author will have effective therapists written into the story based on how historical a lot of things have been so far and the general knowledge that mental health hasn't been treated properly for long.

I'm happy he finally agreed to divorce Annette and we have the potential for her to grow and move on. I do think there's a high chance the author will have them get back together in the future because most romances are like that, but I also feel like if it happens the author will actually handle things well and not destroy Annette's character in the process.

TL;DR: if you're going to engage with complex media you need to actually be capable of handling nuance and complexity. Because I'm so tired of people making everything black and white.