#and i have a sneaking suspicion the Weirdness Of The House That Is Of Leaves is less about actual weirdness (which i grok)

[echthr0s]

like, I mean, obviously House of Leaves has a very comprehensible premise on the surface, that being Oh Shit This House Sure Is Fucked Up, Bro

I get that, but as a person who has repeatedly failed high school English classes because my literary comprehension is about 15 years behind everyone else's, I am very aware of my limitations and I can tell I missed a fucking lot about The Fucked Up Ness of This House (And That Johnny Bloke Besides)

[toournextadventure]

a cold reunion

Summary: Astrid hasn't visited her mother's old house in a while. She wonders if someone new has moved in by now. Maybe it'll be a "ghost," like her mother claims used to live there. Ha. She would be so lucky.

Word Count: 3.3k Warnings: mentions of death, Tim Burton style tones Pairing: Astrid Deetz x Reader A/N: I know absolutely nothing about this movie, only the original, so I'm just gonna have some fun with it

Being a Deetz was one of the most irritating parts of life. At least, it was in Astrid’s opinion. Even without her own uncommon interests, she was held to the standards of her mother. Because her mother was weird, everyone assumed she was too. Which she was, but it wasn’t fair she couldn’t make that statement for herself.

She used to have a friend. You had been new to town and hadn’t known anything about her mother. It led to a wonderful friendship. Her favourite classes were the ones you had together, and eventually, she invited you over outside of school. Everyone thought you were crazy to agree, but you never faltered.

Even her mother and grandmother liked you, saying you were a “good kid.” Astrid knew better, you were trouble. Always in detention or being scolded by teachers in the hallways. You were anything but a good kid when it came to following the rules. But she wouldn’t deny, you definitely sweet talked your way into her mother’s and grandmother’s good graces.

You had done the same to her, pulling her in until she didn’t want to leave. The first kiss had been under the bleachers at a football game; disgustingly cliche. You had tasted of the cigarettes you stole from your mom. A disgusting taste, but it was good on you.

But as soon as she really started to like you - a little more than like, she would admit - you disappeared. You hadn’t been at school that morning, and when she went to your mom’s work, she had said she didn’t know where you were. Said it was no surprise you left; you could do better than this town.

That had been two years ago. Your mom had left town not long after your disappearance. Everyone assumed she had done something to you; a suspicion that came from the simple fact that your mom was, as the town called it, “trailer trash.” She was a nice person, Astrid had always liked her. She didn’t blame the woman for leaving.

Even Astrid had left for college once school was over. What else was she going to do, stay put? No, she wanted to get started somewhere else. Somewhere she wouldn’t be saddled with the name Deetz like it was some kind of curse. She loved her mother more than she would ever care to admit. But she wanted to do something for herself.

It was winter break before she came back home.

“Leaving already?” Her mother called from the porch when she grabbed her bike and started walking it to the street. “You haven’t even been here for three hours.”

“I’m going to check on the house,” Astrid said with a shrug. “I heard the owners moved out.”

“They did, thank god,” her grandmother said. “They did that house no justice.”

Bold coming from you, Astrid thought but kept her mouth shut.

“Don’t stay out too late,” her mother said.

“Lydia dear, when you were her age, you were almost marrying a ghost,” her grandmother said. “Consider it karma.”

“Mom,” her mother sighed.

Astrid had already hopped on her bike and started down the street. The path to the old house was well-worn; everyone knew it. The old owners had tried their best to convince everyone the house wasn’t haunted, but most of the town didn’t believe it. At least none of the school kids. They had jumped at the opportunity to have a haunted house in town whether it was real or not.

You had always liked that old house. No one had ever fully convinced you that ghosts had lived there, but you liked the thrill of it. I don’t think they’re real, but what if? You had asked one night after sneaking in through her window. We should check it out one day. After you disappeared, she had avoided the house like the plague.

But Astrid knew the path by heart. Snow had been plowed from the streets, and the dutiful citizens had shoveled the bridge. When she approached said bridge, she slowed until she could get off the bike, walking it across instead of riding. Her mother had made it clear that under no circumstances was she to ride or drive over the bridge. It was a silly rule; she followed it anyway.

The house was more run down than usual. It shouldn’t have upset her as much as it did. After all, it wasn’t like she had really ever lived in the house anyway. But it was still part of everything she had known growing up. To see it practically falling apart was… well, it was nothing short of devastating.

Without taking her eyes off of the house, she propped her bike up by its kickstand and slowly made her way to the front door. Step by step, each stair creaked under her weight. The house was a little creepy. Maybe it would be best if she just didn’t go in. After all, the door was practically falling off the hinge, if she actually knocked it would-

-the door swung inwards.

And you were standing there in the doorway with your eyes wide. You looked like you had seen a ghost.

“What are you doing here?” Astrid asked quietly.

You exhaled harshly, shoulders sagging with the movement.

“Want some tea?”

—---

Astrid looked as beautiful as the day you had left. Well, no, you hadn’t exactly left but… no, that was something you would face later. For the moment, you were going to enjoy seeing her again. It hadn’t been long, but she had grown into her own. Beautiful as always, too.

And way too quiet for your liking.

“Chamomile okay?” You asked when the kettle was near screaming.

She nodded once, not removing her eyes from you. It was unsettling; you had used to love it. Astrid wasn’t like normal girls, and not in the “too cool for school” kind of way. It was more of an “I’ll be me whether anyone likes it or not” kind of way. If she wanted to be weird and goth then she would and no one could stop her!

But you didn’t like how she was looking at you.

You placed the teabag in the mug and slid it in front of her. The kettle was only seconds away from screaming when you pulled it off the stove. No need to burst anyone’s eardrums. There was no point in being careful with the scalding water as you poured it into her mug.

“You disappeared,” Astrid said while you were mid-pour.

“About that,” you hummed.

“Does your mom know?” She continued. “That you’re right back where you started?”

Your mom. Momma. She had been left all alone after… how had she fared? Were the townspeople nice to her? They had better be, or you would personally bring hell to every single one of them.

“What does she think happened to me?” You asked as you turned around and placed the kettle back on the stove. You didn’t turn back around.

“What everyone else thinks,” Astrid said, “that you ran off.”

“Was she okay?”

“Honestly?” She asked. “She said she was glad you got out of this little town. Said you were too good for it anyway.”

Well that… that almost hurt worse than knowing she never knew the truth. Your momma hadn’t been perfect, but she had done the best with what she had. Time and time again, she had told you in her drunken stupor that you were destined for great things. You had always taken it to heart.

You need to tell her.

“Hey, Astrid?” You asked with a weak voice.

She hummed for you to continue.

“Remember in school when we would say we didn’t believe in ghosts?”

“Yeah, why?”

With a sigh, you turned to look over your shoulder. Astrid’s head was tilted slightly in that way you always found cute. It didn’t click just yet. She just kept looking at you, waiting for you to continue. You raised your brows at her. She was almost there, you could tell by the slight crinkle in her nose, and- ah, there it was.

“You’re joking,” she said.

You gave her your best tight-lipped “white person” smile but otherwise didn’t answer.

“You saw one?” She asked.

Oh. Oh, no, she didn’t get it.

“Well, yes,” you said, turning your full body so you could lean back against the stove and look at her, “but that’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are-” there it is “-oh.”

There was something in her eyes when realisation dawned. Her eyes, while a gorgeous dark brown, were usually so bright. So happy, even when she was trying to act like she didn’t care about the world around her. But this was different. Any brightness dimmed to practically nothing.

“How?” She asked.

You shrugged and looked away. “The football team pushed me off the bridge.”

It wasn’t a fond memory, that was for sure. The icy layer covering the river had been rather sharp. But even that hadn’t compared to the pain of inhaling freezing water deep into your lungs. From what you could remember, it was slow. A memory you didn’t enjoy having, but maybe one day it would go away.

“You were murdered?” Astrid asked incredulously; horrifically.

“I mean listen, it’s not too bad,” you attempted to play it off. “It got me out of taking winter finals, which we both know I would’ve failed.”

“But it’s-”

“-I know, Astrid,” you interrupted.

You liked Astrid. You would even go so far as to say you loved her, mostly probably. Were you young? Sure. A little stupid and naive? Absolutely. High school sweethearts? You would say so, yeah. But she instigated a little too much, and she wanted to know everything, but this just wasn’t really something you wanted to indulge her in. Not yet, anyway.

Astrid was quiet for a moment. The gears were turning in her head, you could practically smell the smoke coming off them. What was she thinking, you wondered. Was she dwelling on the fact that you had died, cold and slow and alone? You certainly hoped not, it wouldn’t change anything. You were dead, you were now a ghost, and long-distance relationships weren’t that hard any more thanks to technology, so you could both still make it work!

If she wanted, of course.

“I thought my mom said her ghosts were stuck in the house for, like, a century or something,” she said instead.

You laughed. That was much easier to answer. “I told their caseworker I’d take their place. You know, let them rest in peace, or whatever,” you waved your hands vaguely.

“Caseworker?”

“It’s a long story.”

“So you’re why the previous owners left?” She asked.

“Guilty as charged.” You wiggled your fingers in her direction and smiled.

For the first time all day, she smiled back. God, you missed her smile.

“If you really are a ghost,” she said with a tilt of her head, “how can you pick things up?”

“Ooh, we’re getting to the fun questions,” you said with a smile.

The look on Astrid’s face was perfect. Curious, distrusting. The best mix of emotions; you loved when she was uncertain. It was a more genuine look for her, instead of trying to act like she knew everything and always knew what to expect. Always made her look super cute, honestly.

You walked over to where she was sitting at the run-down table. She turned to keep facing you until you were standing directly in front of her. It was going to be a risk, but one you were very much willing to take. Worst case, you stay stuck in the stupid house forever. No different from your current predicament.

“Took me a few months to really get the hang of it,” you said. Her eyes sparkled again. “You just focus on what you want to touch,” she blushed, “and voila.”

Her blush vanished when you picked up the mug beside her. What you really wanted to do was touch her. Gods, you wanted to know if you could still feel her warmth, the softness of her skin. But it wasn’t time. No, she was probably still worried about the fact that you had… well, you know. Died.

“It took you months to figure out how to do that?” She asked with a cheeky smile.

“Shut up,” you huffed, placing the mug back on the table. “It wasn’t like I had much to work with.”

“Why didn’t you ask my mom’s old friends how to do it?” Astrid asked before leaning back against the table. “I’m sure they would’ve helped you.”

“Never actually had the pleasure of meeting them,” you said with a shrug. “I only got to meet the other guy.”

“The other guy?” She asked, looking away in thought for a moment before looking back at you. “Oh, you mean Beetlegeu-”

-you slapped your hand over her mouth before she could continue.

“Don’t say it,” you whispered.

She nodded once, and you pulled your hand away.

“Was he really that awful?” She asked, matching your tone.

“He was that annoying,” you grumbled. “God, I swore the guy would never shut up.”

Astrid did her little crooked smile and laugh. The one that you would always try your best to force out of her during class to get her in trouble. Wait, that sounded bad. You didn’t want her to get in trouble, you just would have enjoyed her presence in detention. With you.

“So what else did you take two years to learn?” Astrid asked. She leaned forward until she was so close you could smell her shampoo. “Anything exciting?”

Wait. Wait, this could be your chance. You might be able to do something about it, this could be your shot. Two years in limbo, sitting in a run down house that did nothing but remind you of Astrid with everything you saw. It was her family’s house. You couldn’t leave her even if you had wanted to.

“Well,” you said, “there is something I’ve been wanting to test out.” You looked up to meet her eyes. “May I?”

“Let’s see what you got, ghosty,” she said.

You nodded to yourself and focused. Focused on her body, more specifically her face. Her stunning, beautiful, gorgeous, smiling face. Day after day, you had been thinking of her, and you had hoped time and time again that somehow she would come back to the house.

One deep inhale, hold your breath. Your hands were shaking so badly you would have dropped everything had you been holding something in the first place. And yet, Astrid didn’t budge when you lifted your hands and placed them on either side of her face. Exhale.

Her body was absent of warmth. Astrid had never been an exceptionally warm individual to begin with but this was… different. You couldn’t bring yourself to tell her that you couldn’t feel her. Sure, you could touch things, but you couldn’t feel any of it. It wasn’t something you could describe, except calling it surreal.

“May I?” You asked again.

You could feel her breath on your lips even as she nodded. It was all you needed to pull her into a kiss. There was still no warmth, but there was a… a comfort in it. In feeling her lips against yours again after so long. To feel her breath mix with yours, replacing everything you didn’t need but you so desperately craved.

Her hands attempted to settle on your hips but fell straight through. In turn, you felt her shoulders sag as she placed her hands on your knees instead. That was… not a nice feeling. Maybe you could learn to focus enough to let her feel you back. That was possible, right? Surely it was.

You pulled away slowly. If you could have stayed kissing her for the rest of your century in that hellhole, you would have. But unfortunately, Astrid still had to breathe, and you had to give her the space to do it. Earlier you had questioned if you had really loved her or if it was a puppy love?

Oh no. It was the real deal.

“You can’t leave at all?” Astrid asked. “Not even for an hour or so?”

“You mean the haunted house isn’t romantic?” You teased.

“What do you even do in here all day every day?” She asked.

Once again, she reached out to touch you. Somewhere, anyway. You looked down at where she was attempting to hold your hand. Maybe if you could focus really hard, it would work. As far as you knew, you couldn’t materialise. At least, you didn’t think you could. But if you really concentrated.

Her fingers slipped between yours and, for the first time in two years, you felt her squeeze your hand. Physical touch. Real physical touch.

“I, ah,” you stammered, looking down at where she was still holding your hand. “It’s in my contract to scare people.”

“Contract?” She asked. Your arm moved as she pulled you closer. Okay, maybe physical touch was a bit unfamiliar to you after so long, you would need to get used to it again.

“My caseworker says I have a quota to meet,” you said, finally looking back up to meet her eyes. “So many people each quarter, you know?”

“So you need people to scare?” She asked. “On a regular basis.”

There was a sparkle in her eye. Something dangerous; scandalous.

“You have something in mind?” You asked with a tilt of your head.

Her smile was vicious. And attractive.

—---

The house looked beautiful in the daylight. The paint was fresh, the inside was cosy, and when nighttime fell? Rumour had it the ghosts came out to play. That was why most people rented out the house; their own private haunting for a night. The listing said if you could survive the night, the stay was free. So far, no one had lasted long enough to even give it a good shot.

And as you stood at the end of the bed watching the young couple sprint down the stairs screaming, you knew they wouldn’t be the winners either.

You walked over to the window and watched as they threw their singular bag into their car and peeled out of the dirt driveway. It hadn’t even been any fun, they hadn’t given you any time to actually scare them. Hell, all you had done was stand at the bed! You hadn’t made any faces, hadn’t pulled any jumpscares, you had simply stood there.

Were you really that scary?

“Gone already?” Astrid asked in a sleepy voice as she walked to stand beside you at the window.

“Didn’t even stay long enough for me to have any fun,” you pouted.

“Well, you’ve hit your quota,” she said. She grabbed your arm and pulled it over her shoulder before tucking closer to your body. After a few months, you were finally starting to feel a bit of warmth from her.

At least, you thought you did.

“Your mom is coming by in the morning?” You asked.

She hummed her confirmation.

“Maybe I can try to scare her, then,” you said.

Astrid pulled you away from the window and started walking you toward your shared bedroom. Not that you really needed the sleep, but it was nice to be able to lay next to her. It was exhausting to keep a more physical form, but for her? You would do it all day every day.

“Good luck scaring her,” Astrid said as she pulled you onto the bed. “She practically grew up with ghosts.”

“I’ll scare your grandmother then,” you said softly, but she didn’t move.

Astrid was already asleep in your arms, just like you had always imagined. Maybe being dead really wasn’t as awful as everyone had always made it seem. After all, it got you your dream girl.

[cutielando]

caught | j.m.

synopsis: requested by @kkgirll272: Can you write about how JJ and y/n reader sneak out at sunrise into John bs van and things get smutty and then they all wake uk bc they were too loud and find them outside. (None of the pogues knew they liked eachother)

warnings!!: smut, p in v, overstimulation, oral sex (both made and female receiving), unprotected sex (be safe!!), squirting, semi-public sex, secret relationship, getting caught, cockwarming (for like a split second)

my masterlist

The two of you were just hanging out with your friends, gathered around a small fire, drinking and laughing the night away. But there was something about JJ that night that had you all hot and bothered.

The way his hair sat on top of his head, strands adorning his chiseled face and the way the fire illuminated his blonde strands. The shirt he wore putting his biceps on display for you to admire, the way the muscles under his skin flexed with every move that he made. It ignited a fire deep within you, wanting to jump his bones in front of everyone right then and there.

But you couldn't.

None of your friends knew about the secret relationship that had blossomed between the two of you weeks ago. They had always made fun of you and the obvious crushed you had on each other, but hadn't connected the dots that you had let your feelings win and your desires drive you.

You had decided to keep the relationship a secret until you figured out what it actually meant, whether it was just a temporal thing or not, whether it was just about sex or not. And you had actually done a good job hiding it from them.

However, as the growing pressure between your legs grew, the fire deep inside getting stronger and stronger, you felt the need to get away from the bonfire and your friends with JJ and have your way with him.

But there was no way you could both leave undetected without causing suspicion.

"Are you okay?" you hadn't even realized you had zoned out until you felt JJ hot breath on the shell of your ear, his hushed voice causing goosebumps to arise on your skin.

"I'm fine" you said, giving him an unconvincing smile.

JJ got worried for a second, scanning your entire body for something telling him what was wrong with you. The moment his eyes landed on the way you were clenching your thigh together, he fought the smirk that was threatening to erupt on his handsome face.

He had made you horny.

His plan had worked.

There was quite nothing that got JJ going as knowing you were riled up in front of his friends all because of him, and not being able to do anything because of it.

He enjoyed the thrill of sneaking around everyone's back with you like nothing else in the world. Getting to hold you in his arms, kiss your breath away and make you lose your mind and fall apart under him made him think he was in Heaven, and you were his own personal little angel.

However, as he sat there next to you, knowing just how worked up you were and how wet you must be, he realized that his dick was starting to harden in his pants and would be visible for their friends to see on display. Something neither of you wanted.

"Seems like I'm not the only one dying to get fucked" you whispered seductively in his ear, seeing his pants start to constrain against his crotch.

His breath hitched, hating the effect you had on him which made his dick jump in his boxers from your words alone.

Thankfully, it seemed like God was on your side, because not even 5 minutes later, your friends announced that they would be retiring for the night, bidding their goodbyes.

You both waited until they all disappeared into the house before JJ took your hand and started dragging you towards the Twinkie.

"You seriously want to fuck in the Twinkie?" you said, feeling weird to fuck in your best friend's car.

"I don't want them to hear us" he hastily replied, quickly pushing you into the Twinkie and closing the door behind him.

You were sprawled out on the floor, your legs already open and waiting for JJ to finally have his way with you.

"You have no idea how much trouble you're in" JJ muttered, immediately leaning down and planting his lips against yours in a haste kiss.

You gasped from the intensity, which gave JJ to opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth, intensifying the kiss 100 times over. You were grasping at the hair at the back of his head, your legs winding around his waist to bring him even closer to you.

JJ groaned at the feeling of your wet crotch against his, his dick painfully hard in his shorts.

"Why? I was good, daddy" you whined out against his lips, humping against his clothes crotch in a feeble attempt to relieve the pressure between your legs.

The nickname could have made him cum right then and there. He growled against your mouth, pulling away to take off your shirt and pants in record time.

"Acting like a slut in front of our friends" he mumbled, pressing his lips against yours in a passionate kiss before his lips started making their way down your body.

He slowly inched towards your chest, his lips biting and sucking at the sweet spot on your neck that drove you crazy. You couldn't help but moan out, JJ always knew how to make you weak in the knees for him.

His lips traveled to your breasts, circling around your hardened nipple as his other hand pinched and twisted at your other. You gasped at the electrifying sensation, arching your back against JJ's chest.

"Jayj-" you moaned out, grasping his hair tighter.

He didn't say anything, instead kissing each of your nipples before he traveled towards the place you needed him the most between your legs. He planted feather kisses on the inside of your thighs, his breath tickling your aching pussy with each kiss.

You were growing frustrated at his lack of compassion and wanted to tell him off, but just as you lifted your head off the floor, he dived into your pussy like a man starved, licking a stripe along your aroused slit and all the way to your puffy clit.

"Oh my God" you gasped out, your hand gravitating to hold onto his blonde locks for support.

JJ did not waste any time, starting to suck on your clit like his life depended on him. He lapped at your pussy like it was his last meal, his tongue prodding at the entrance of your pussy.

You were whining and whimpering at the intense feeling, your head thrown back and eyebrows scrunched up.

"Shit, JJ" you gasped out when he inserted two fingers in your dripping hole, pumping in and out of you with a passion.

He looked up at you, his mouth and fingers not letting up for even a split second. Seeing you with your head thrown back, your back arched as he brought you pleasure like no other man ever could, made his already rock hard cock jump in his pants, painful against the restraints of his boxers and shorts.

But he was determined to make you cum with his mouth before he even thought about himself.

Like a man on a mission, he started sucking on your clit more aggressively, adding in a third finger as he was pumping in and out of your dripping wet entrance, knowing you were getting close by the way your walls were fluttering against his fingers.

The hot coil was building rapidly in the pit of your stomach, coming onto you like an unstoppable wave.

"JJ, I'm gonna come, shit, I'm gonna cum baby" you barely let the words out before you moaned loudly, your thighs clasping around JJ's head as your pussy walls throbbed against his face.

Your head was fuzzy, every nerve in your body was on fire as your legs were shaking in your orgasmic bliss.

JJ kept sucking on your clip throughout your orgasm, enjoying the feeling of you thrashing on the floor because of him, because of the things he could do to you.

He slowly slipped his fingers out of you, pressing a kiss to your puffy clit, which had you shake with overstimulation to your sensitive privates.

"That was so fucking hot, mama" he praised you, inching up and pecking your lips before he started taking off his clothes.

"You made me cum so hard, JJ" you laughed, your brain not even registering what you were saying or doing.

JJ chuckled, pride swelling in his chest. He knew he could make you feel good, but hearing it from your mouth was better than anything else.

After a couple of seconds, you slowly sat up just as JJ slipped off his boxers and threw them in the pile you had created on the seats. His throbbing cock slapped against his stomach, the tip an angry red and dripping precum. JJ hissed as the cold air hit his tip, eyeing your movement as you stared at his cock.

You slowly stood up and kneeled before him, eye-to-eye with his impressive length. No matter how many times the two of you would fuck, you could never get over how big and thick and perfect his cock was.

"Are you gonna help me out, baby?" JJ asked as he trailed a hand down your cheek.

Without warning, you wrapped your lips around his hot cock, swirling your tongue around the mushroom tip and sucking harshly. JJ groaned and his knees almost buckled, throwing his head back and closing his eyes.

You slowly began working your way down his shaft, bobbing your head up and down while your hands fondled with his balls. You were taking as much of him as you possibly could, pushing him down your throat past your gag reflex.

"Just like that, baby. You're taking this dick so well, baby. Such a good slut, choking on my dick like this" JJ praised you, taking a hold of your hair in a ponytail as he enjoyed the sight of you with his cock down your throat, tears in your eyes.

JJ closed his eyes and started grinding his hips against you, his cock hitting the back of your throat every single time. You were massaging his balls as best as you could, sucking him in every time he would hit the back of your throat.

Suddenly, an idea popped into your head which would make JJ cum even faster. You started swirling your tongue up and down the veins of his dick every time he would push into your mouth, which brought on the stuttering of his hips you knew too well.

"Fucking shit, I'm gonna cum, baby. Gonna give you so much of my cum, princess. Oh shit" JJ gasped out, pushing all the way until your nose was pressed against abdomen, his cock twitching and spurting long roped of cum down your throat.

JJ's hips kept stuttering as he slowly came down from his high, your combined cum and saliva dripping from the corner of your mouth. Your eyes were wide when you noticed his cock was still as hard as he had been 10 minutes ago, which made JJ chuckle.

"JJ junior has to fuck you before he retires for the night" he teased, making you laugh.

You rapidly laid back on the floor of the Twinkie, JJ coming to settle between your legs.

He pressed his lips against yours, his hand traveling to grasp his aching cock. He ran the mushroom tip over your slit, coating it with your arousal, before slowly sliding in your pussy, the both of you moaning in unison at the feeling of being joined, once again.

"You feel so fucking good, baby" JJ moaned, going in until he was buried to the hilt, his tip already nudging that sweet spot inside of you that had you seeing stars.

You moaned out, your hands reaching for his hair to have something to hold onto.

Slowly, he started sliding in and out of you, your walls sucking him in with every thrust. He was slowly building rhythm, wanting to make sure you felt every single vein in his dick, every single part of him that was devoted to you.

"JJ, holy shit" you gasped out when he started thrusting at a more urgent pace, your eyes rolling in the back of your head.

"You're doing so good for me, mama. This tight little pussy swallowing me hole, made just for me to fuck" he groaned, leaning down to bury his face in the crook of your neck.

You could care less about your friends who were sleeping a couple of feet away from you, the danger of being caught non-existent in your cock-drunk mind.

You were holding onto JJ for dear life, your nails digging into his shoulder blades as he rocked in and out of you at a rapid pace.

Your nerves started tingling, the second orgasm of the night coming in faster that you had anticipated. But this time, something was different. You couldn't tell what, but you were about to find out.

"Jay, I'm gonna-" you couldn't even finish your sentence before his hand reached down between you two, his rough fingers pressing down on your clit and rubbing quick figures on it.

You screamed, the feeling of having to pee becoming overwhelming as the coil burst and you suddenly squirted all over JJ's cock, squealing at the intense feeling of JJ's cock fucking you through your orgasm.

JJ kept rubbing and pressing on your puffy clit, coaxing more and more squirt out of your poor pussy. He hadn't realized the effect it had had on him until he could feel his heavy balls tingling.

You were hazed out, eyes closed as pathetic whimpers escaped your lips.

Taking a hold of your lips, JJ started pounding mercilessly into you, the pace had you moaning and screaming out from the intense feeling of overstimulation.

"That was the hottest shit I've ever seen, princess. Fucking shit, I'm gonna cum so hard for you, gonna cum so deep inside of you" he groaned, making you cry out as he sped his movements even more, your breasts bouncing as the Twinkie thrashed wildly with JJ's unforgiving pace.

His hips started stuttering and then you felt him still inside of you, burying himself to the hilt as ropes of cum painted your inside walls, JJ's pelvis spasming against your as he moaned out loudly. The feeling of his cum inside of you triggered yet another orgasm from you, your walls spasming around his length and milking him for all he was worth.

The feel of your walls milking his cock prolonged his orgasm, turning the both of you into a joined moaning mess.

"Holy shit" you exclaimed as you slowly came to your senses, your hands wrapping weakly around JJ's shoulders and bringing him in for a sweaty hug, his softening cock still buried deep inside of you.

"That was the best sex we've ever had" he chuckled, making you agree and nod.

You stayed like that for a while, the occasional spasm of your walls against his softening dick making the both of you whimper silently.

Neither of you had even thought about your friends, not bothering to be silent as you were having the sex of your lives.

A knock on the van window made you both sit up hurriedly, JJ's cock slipping out of you and making you both shudder.

"I can't believe you guys fucked in my van, man!" John B exclaimed from outside, turning around when he saw you were both naked.

"The whole fucking street heard you, Jesus Christ" Pope added, while Kie just smiled and winked at you from the corner of her eye.

You and JJ looked at each other before bursting out laughing, leaning against each other.

Oh, that was going to be a funny story to tell.

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[burnthoneydrops]

Home for the Holidays (s.o. x reader)

pairing: sam obisanya x reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: none? let me know if i missed anything! (not proofread haha)

a/n: a little christmas post for my favourite boy! I got a little carried away with this and basing it off the christmas special from season 2 but I hope you enjoy!!

“I thought you were spending Christmas with your mom,” Ted comments as you sit in his office, a semi-pitying look from both him and Keeley making you want to cover your face in your festive jumper. 

“She picked Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day so to the hospital she goes,” you reply, twirling your phone in your hands. 

“What about your sister?” Nate asks from his perched position. 

“Her girlfriend invited her on a surprise trip to Paris until the end of the month. She invited me to come after but it felt weird y’know?” 

“Damn, where’s she been hiding that money?” Coach Beard asks. 

“No idea. My sister says she’s good at investing or something but I also have a sneaking suspicion she’s a nepo baby”. The group in the room do a collective ‘ah’ in understanding. Keeley asks about Sam, to which you explain that he doesn’t celebrate Christmas and since the relationship was relatively new, you didn’t want to scare him off with how intensely your mum and your sister love to celebrate. That was before you found out neither of them were going to be there of course.

Ted looks to Coach Beard, asking what he’s doing for Christmas. 

“I thought you two broke up?” Keeley asks as he announces that he and Jane are going to a pagan tradition at Stonehenge. 

“We did, but we bought the tickets before we broke up so we’re going as friends,” he replies with slight distaste. 

“Well that’ll be….what about you Higgins?” Ted changes the subject. 

“We open presents and then host a party for any members of the team who don’t have a place to go on Christmas. We usually get about two but Ted and Y/N, you’re more than welcome”. 

“I appreciate the offer Higgie Smalls but once Henry wakes up in,” Ted checks his phone, “about an hour, he wants to open presents together and spend the whole day on FaceTime”. 

Higgins looks at you for your response. You nod, a small smile on your face, “yeah, sounds like it could be fun. Thanks Higgins”. 

After the boys had finished their Secret Santa exchange, you wait for Sam out in the hallway of the facility, saying hi to the other players that walked past and getting a high five from both Colin and Isaac. Sam was second to last to leave, still slinging his coat over his shoulders as he and Dani walked out together. 

“So I will see you at Higgins’ house later mi amigo?” Dani asks Sam, who nods and gives him a firm handshake before they bump chests, both with big smiles on their faces. 

“Ay I got invited to that too,” you smile at the two boys as Sam grabs your hand to walk to his car. 

“I thought you were spending the day with your mum and sister?” Sam asks, looking down at you with scrunched eyebrows.

Your face falls as you realise you hadn’t told him. You quickly apologise, explaining that because work had been so busy the past few days, you thought you had told Sam that your family was going to be gone, but apparently that was not the case. He is quick to shush your apology, claiming that it’s fine because now the two of you will get to spend your favourite holiday together after all. 

“I guess that means we could head over to your place for a bit before we go to the Higgins’?” you look across at Sam as he starts the car, but he is quick to shut it down. 

“Do you not want to get changed before we head over? I can drop you off at your home and pick you up when you are ready,” he replies, looking straight at the road. “Besides, I have a dish I need to pick up as a housewarming present”. 

“Oh,” you slump, a little defeated, “ok”. 

Getting ready for the party did not take nearly as long as it felt like Sam had expected, as it took him forever to respond to your ‘I’m ready!’ text. Something felt weird about the whole ordeal but you push it off, wanting to enjoy your favourite day with some of your favourite people. By the time Sam pulls up in front of your house, you’d checked your makeup a million times in the mirror, made sure you’d unplugged your curling iron about the same amount, and was watching cat TikToks when the doorbell rang. “You look lovely my love,” Sam compliments as you open the door. You thank him, holding out your hand for him to take before you close and lock your door, making sure not to trip on the front steps. 

The drive to the Higgins house is short, meaning you two are still somehow early for the event. It comes as a relief, though, when they open the door, as Sam had informed you in the car that he was in desperate need of the restroom. You hold back a laugh as the smallest of the Higgins boys answers the door, and you and Sam both look down with a little ‘hello’ and a wave. You take the dish from Sam as he enters the house first, but Higgins is soon to join you both, showing you two to the living room where all the appetisers had been laid out. 

“What a wonderful spread,” you compliment, to which his wife Julie replies with a thank you and a large smile. As Higgins asks what Christmas makes Sam think of, to which you can’t help but laugh again as you know the answer, Julie offers you a glass of wine (which you gladly accept). 

“Colonisation,” Sam replies, “but I am more than happy to celebrate the day with you. It’s Y/N’s favourite holiday anyway, so it won’t be my last,” he smiles at you. “We also have some friends in Lagos who celebrate with jollof rice and goat meat, so I made you some”. You hand the dish to Higgins, who looks sceptical. 

“But don’t worry, I used chicken,” Sam clarifies. 

“Thank God,” Higgins mutters, looking down at the dish before one of his older sons walks up, complimenting Sam on his protest against Dubai Air. Hearing Higgins swear in support of his son surprises both you and Sam, causing a round of light laughter before Sam is asking about the bathroom again. 

“If it’s your favourite holiday, why aren’t the two of you doing something separate from the party?” Julie asks as she comes back in with the wine. 

“I forgot to tell him that my family wasn’t going to be available, and when we celebrate, we go all out, so I didn’t want to scare him off when we’ve only been together a few months”. 

“I doubt anything could scare that boy off,” Julie chuckles, “he’s the happiest, most dedicated boy on the entire earth. Plus, he’s in love with you”. 

You blush, not expecting to get so personal with the Higgins family quite yet. 

“She’s right, Y/N, we’ve all noticed it around Nelson Road,” Higgins joins in, standing next to the arm of the couch. 

“That’s…nice,” you nod, not entirely sure what else to say. 

The next chunk of time is spent voluntarily helping clean up the house before everyone else arrives, Sam having turned gathering the wrapping paper into a game with the youngest. You smile from the corner of the couch you were picking extra pieces of tape off of; watching Sam play with kids always made your heart melt. 

“Did Santa bring you something good this morning?” Sam asks. 

“It’s ok, I know there’s no Santa,” the youngest shrugs as Sam sits down at the dining table. 

“But of course there is!” You comment, making your way over to the two, positioning yourself in the doorway. 

“How could he possibly deliver presents to everyone in one night?” The boy questions. 

“Ah see, but it is one night split between 24 different time zones. Santa’s true power is not his speed, but his endurance,” Sam explains. 

“Wow,” the boy’s face lights up, “he got me a bicycle,” he smiles. 

“Brilliant,” Sam gives him a double fist bump before the youngest runs off at the sound of the doorbell. 

You walk over to where Sam is sitting, running your hands down his shoulders as he wraps one of his hands around your arm. You lean your cheek on the top of his head, muttering about how wonderful he is before he laughs, planting a kiss on the hand he grabbed, and shaking his head. The next to arrive are Dani, Jan Maas, and Richard-who also brought a date- all with something to offer in their arms. They look a bit like the three wise men, but with alcohol instead of gold. Zoreaux follows quickly after, looking incredibly smiley as he announces he had previously gone to the wrong house. As more and more people arrive, you start to feel that warm, tingly feeling that reminds you why you love Christmas in the first place. So many people around, all happy to see each other, brings so much joy, especially when it brings on a Nerf battle to which all members (children and adults) are very dedicated. Putting dinner together is a sight to see, considering the regular dining table was conjoined with a surfboard and a pool table in order to fit all of the guests. 

You rest your head on Sam’s shoulder as he grabs a dish from one of his fellow players, smiling at the mention of goat meat and laughing as the youngest Higgins boy tries to sneak himself some wine from Richard’s bottle. “I’m glad we got to do this together,” you whisper into Sam’s turtleneck. 

“Me too my love,” he replies, looking down at you and trying to kiss the top of your head. 

Higgins stands up as everyone passes dishes around and makes joyful conversation, clinking his wine glass to make a toast. “I just want to thank everyone for coming,” he starts. 

Sam raises his glass as you take your head off his shoulder, “to the family Higgins!” Everyone begins to cheer, Jan Maas clapping his hand against the table. 

“You’re going to make me cry,” Higgins continues, “to my lovely wife, Julie, my sons, to you and all your families back in Lagos, Guadalajara, Groningen, Cordon, Montreal, Benin City, Harare, Kingston, and Santa Cruz de la Sierra. I know you would have preferred to be with them,” Sam reaches under the table and grabs your hand, “but it was truly an honour to have you with us, to share our traditions and help us make some new ones. To the family we’re born with, and the family we make along the way.” Sam squeezes your hand as Higgins finishes his little speech. “And most importantly, to Richmond!” “To Richmond!” Everyone cheers in response-you included, raising their glasses. 

There was suddenly a sound similar to feedback from outside and the youngest Higgins goes out to check for the cause of the commotion. “Ho ho ho Higginses!” Ted calls from the street.

The team all crowd around the window, greeted by the sight of Ted and Rebecca with three buskers, all in festive outfits. 

“Holy shit,” you laugh to Sam, who grabs your hand again before leading you out the front door. After spending a good bit of time outside with the team, dancing in the snow, everyone starts to say their goodbyes. You and Sam give parting hugs to everyone before getting in his car. He wordlessly starts to drive, and you assume he’s going to drop you off at your house, but as you miss the turn, you open and close your mouth in question. 

“I thought we could continue the festivities at my place if that’s ok,” Sam comments, glancing at you before looking back at the road. 

“Yeah, ok,” you smile, looking at the few houses decked out in Christmas lights as you keep driving. 

“Now this sounds weird, but I need you to close your eyes as we walk in. I promise it’s nothing scary,” he adds that last part in response to the way your face scrunched up. 

“Ok…” you laugh uncomfortably, covering your eyes with your hands as Sam links one of his elbows with yours, guiding you up to his kitchen before informing you that you can drop your hands. 

The sight in front of you is truly amazing, and you almost start crying on the spot. Sam stands off to the side with a nervous smile as you scan the room, looking at all the Christmas decorations and a full table of your favourite desserts that stand in front of you. A trifle and a Christmas pudding, a spiced Victoria sponge and a pitcher of mulled wine. You turn to face Sam, still with the nervous look on his face, before running to close the distance with a bone crushing hug. 

“I take it that you like it?” He asks, slowly wrapping his arms around you. 

“I love it!” You sniffle as you let go, looking at him in admiration. “But how? Why? I mean you-” 

“Your sister told me when she accepted that trip to Paris that both she and your mum would be gone, and I know how much you love Christmas, so I decided to put a little something together”. 

“A little something? Sam, this is amazing! Thank you so much,” you hug him again tightly. “Why did you agree to go to Higgins then?” 

“You love celebrating with other people, and I figured we could just add on to the celebration. Initially we were just going to come back here after Secret Santa, but it ended up working out because the Victoria Sponge wasn’t ready yet. So, I dropped you off first, and a little extra celebration time wasn’t going to do any harm,” he shrugs. 

“You’re amazing, you know that?”

“Only for you my love,” he chuckles, grabbing your face lightly, pressing a soft kiss onto your lips before turning back to the feast. “Now, let us not put this all to waste”. 

You turn excitedly to the table, wondering how you got so lucky with such a wonderful boyfriend. 

[p1nkc4lyps0]

ISAT PKMN trainer assignments

i've been having brainrot recently and i havent really seen people doing pokemon trainer aus, just a lot of pokemon mystery dungeon aus which i think require different perspectives for so i figured i may as well give it a shot.

with my assignments i was making sure to think about actual symbolism and tried avoiding the canon pokemon assignments for a] more of a challenge and b] i havent really seen all of them so if i have picked some of the same pokemon my bad.

SIFFRIN

gimmighoul: tried taking siffrin's coin once, failed, now just hangs around with him and has gotten quite attatched.

minior: a pokemon he's had as long as he can remember. gets a lot of weird looks about it though and has never seen anyone else with one.

chingling: the only pokemon caught in the castle. ding ding!

popplio: what a little clown! a fool! just a litter jester doing a preformance!

hisuian sneasel: basically siffren's dagger. i picked the hisuian one over the johtonian one because it's white.

absol: not a pokemon he had before the loops and has a sneaking suspicion those two facts are related since it seems to remember them to an extent.

MIRABELLE

morpeko: i think mirabelle would like form changing pokemon and also. near the end of floor 3 mirabelle gets like, really annoyed and then eats and is fine. thats what morpeko does.

furfrou: a pokemon with plenty of styles to choose from! she hasn't been able to get it styled recently and while she is getting nervous of it not changing, she has noticed it's happier staying as it is.

indeedee: indeedees are helpful pokemon! often used as servants, i feel mirabelle would relate with this

palafin: a hero capable of change! and paladins tend to fight for a cause, often a religious one like who mirabelle is fighting as a maiden of change.

escavalier: we don't have a fencing pokemon but we do have a lancing pokemon! also the fact a shelmet has to be traded with a karrablast is something

ISABEAU

mimikyu: isabeau is constantly putting up a facade of being a bit air headed, disguisigng himself. i also think with mimkyu wearing a cloak with him being a fashion designer would make this the most stylish mimikyu the world has ever seen

leavanny: this pokemon is known for making clothes from it's silk and any leaves it finds, making it into a clothing maker of sorts, they're also super protective.

bewear: what a big sweetie! aw it loves hugging people, it can also snap your back in two... i feel like this the most fitting attacking pokemon isa with it's bulk, cuteness and hidden scariness [something we see from isabeau when he gets... very protective of the sif nickname]

ODILE

carbink: this was my first thought for an odile pokemon, it's a little rock! and with it's links to diancie, a perfect red herring for what she's studying, they're just native to ka bue. she hardly uses it in battle.

steelix: now this is her attacking pokemon! i know it doesn't cover her primary paper type technically but it does cover her use of rock and scissors type by being steel/ground. i also think she mega evolves it from time to time, for the gems theming.

relicanth: i tried to go with the theme of old pokemon for odile, not generations wise but in the way that relicanth hasn't changed in a millenia. it's also a map, which could be interesting with the island siffrin is from.

bronzong: i can't really explain this one i just think it fits with her character? maybe it's the shape language but it is another old pokemon, showing up in the ruins in arceus so once again, more red herrings for her research.

sinistcha: ka bue is very implied to be japan or at the barest of minimums asia. odile is absolutely a tea drinker to me, this might have been one of her earlier pokemon that came with her when she left ka bue. they also have similar hair

drampa: hahahahah funny grandpa dragon joke~ drampa is reported to burn down the houses of any bullies the child they've befriended, odile has said that she would do horrible things for the party. im not fucking with you. think is not just a odile is the grandma of the party joke. i am dead fucking serious when i say this is her most in character pokemon.

BONNIE

applin: i think bonnie tried to gather apples at somepoint and it turned out to be an applin, they kept it. they seem like the type of kid to enjoy bugs [im counting the none apple bit of applin a bug cause it is to me fuck off]

alcremie: a pokemon evolved completely by accident. their milcery took a strawberry from them while cooking and in an attempt to get it back, span around enough to where it evolved. just some complete loony toons bullshit

yungoose: their first pokemon! caught back in Bambouche and their main defence between themselves and sadnesses when they left. i picked yungoose over some of the other early route mammals because a] tropical and b] i fully believe that bonnie bites people.

unovian darumaka: potentially a gift from the party, more specifically odile who was curious of darmanitan's zen form. it's obviously not a darmanitan yet but it is very useful for lighting fires to cook with.

kantonian farfetch'd: it's basically THE food pokemon being a duck carrying a leek and i opted for the kantonian form over the galarian form since the galarian form is far too cool, bonnie is cringe [/pos]

smolive: cooking oil is a crutial part of cooking are you insane and olive oil is some of them best! very useful pokemon to have on hand and it's slightly more emotionally and nervous natural creates and almost parrallel to bonnie where both end in the same outcome of tears since both are young and not yet capable of fully handling their emotions.

LOOP

gimmighoul: somehow the only pokemon they kept when they gave up on the loops, unsure if it actually remembers the loops or is just a clone...

natu [multiple]: loop can't actually catch any pokemon since, no pokeballs and they'd lose it at the end of the loop. so they've been slowly learning how to befriend all the local natu in dormont, secretly on the hunt for the roundest one. they've found shinies before and would usually be more snappy and blunt after all of those loops due to loosing them. they've gotten good at befriending them all too, being able to tell them apart and what they like. they would never admit any of this though.

[picklebunbun]

Hi, I saw you also do the happy tree friend character and I have a request about that if you don't mind, a Flippy/Fliqpy x sibling reader (platonic of course!) who talks in their sleep please ? Thank you if you doing it

Flippy/Fliqpy + sibling!gn! reader who talks in their sleep hcs

——————༻⁂✬♫✬⁂༺——————

hc or oneshot/series?: headcannons

gn reader, you/yours and gn pronouns

genre: fluff, could be a bit angsty if you’re an emotional person, some crack (the drug-)

romantic/platonic?: platonic

cw: mentions of violence/gore (but it’s flipqy too so what’d you expect)

(angel’s note🪽: I actually love this request, I luvvv platonic stories omg and htf so hehehehhe 🤭 we are leaving the scenerio at the end)

~~~

flippy hc:

he kind of gets it, usually sleep talking is due to stress but wow it really freaks him out

sometimes he hears you talk about your plan to destruct the whole world

“I’m going to bomb the U.N mimimimi💤💤😴“ “WHAT THE FU-“

but whenever he asks about it the next morning you always give him this poker face, insinuating that you had no idea you were talking about kill!ng political figures

it usually makes him stay awake at night, the things you talk about are freaky (has this sneaking suspicion that you might kill him- JKJKJK)

always gives you a glass of warm milk, it actually helps, you still sleep talk don’t get me wrong, but it’s less violent

he also bear hugs you (not intended to be a pun) while you sleep, you get very overheated

since he has random nightmares and wakes up at night, he always finds your voice comforting, just a nice reminder that you’re still there

flipqy hc:

just like flippy, he finds comfort in your voice since it’s an indicator that you’re still there. It helps him relax

he’ll accidentally claw your arms when he hugs you, you find some cuts the next morning (flippy had no idea it happens)

whenever you talk in the middle of the night, he screams, this man was TERRIFIED. He hid you in the bathroom because he thought someone was in the house

turns out it was just his sibling talking

he thought that you were possessed by something for a while, kept his distance but he still loved you dw

still shocked about what you say though

scenario:

italics: thinking, bold: yelling

Flippy was in the kitchen making you hot milk, he started doing this a couple of weeks ago. It’s actually helped, not with sleep talking but just calming the “weirdness” of it,

“here!”

Flippy gave you a sweet hot milk drink with a pinch of cinnamon

“thanks..”

you were already feeling sleepy before and the drink endorsed it even more. Flippy patted your head

“feeling sleepy yet?”

“yeah..”

Flippy grabbed your hand and guided you to the bed, he wrapped you around in a blanket making you nice and comfy. The lights turned off, and Flippy climbed into bed, hugging you tightly

-timeskip-

Flippy- or err.. Flipqy sat up panting, he was all sweaty, he had just gotten a nightmare. He looks at you and hears your voice “mm.. I never wanted the..mbbmm” or mumbles of your favorite animal in your dreams made him calmer.

Flipqy sighed, he was still very much stressed so he hugged you tightly while trying to ease his sorrow. He clawed your arms, but since you were so deep in REM, you didn’t really feel anything. Whatever, just sleep for now! ♡︎

(Idk if this was pretty short but if it is I’m sorryy I was in a bit of a rush (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞)

~~~

[sukunastoy]

Dumb Puppy (Part 2)

Posted a bit later than I wanted to but finally got this absolute filth tossed into the pile. Enjoy!

wc: 2.3k+

cw: fucking both the father and son(everyone is legal age) name calling/insults (mutt, bitch, puppy etc), choking, cream pie, unprotected sex, master-pet dynamic, age difference.

Over the next few weeks, your needy moments with Toji only worsened. The more you indulged in this sick fantasy, the more obsessed with him you became. He entertained all of your needs, feeding into your twisted desires.

Teaching Megumis class was both stressful and embarrassing. The boy never said anything, and you weren't sure if he knew what you were actually doing with his crappy father or not. If he was aware, he never mentioned it, much to your relief.

Of course for some days, to avoid suspicion, you'd leave immediately after school was over, getting to the Fushiguro residence before Megumi would get home. Offering him a ride home every day was getting too awkward. If he walked, it would take him almost 20 minutes to get there. That was more than enough time to park far enough down the street to hide your car and sneak back to the house, getting into Tojis bedroom with the door shut before the son came home. Sure you'd be moaning like a wanton whore, but at least he never saw your face to actually confirm it was you fucking his dad so much lately.

Again Toji was choking you out while he was fucking you harshly, and the lack of air to your head made you cum so embarrassingly hard.

"F-fuck! Loosen up, bitch, you're forcing me out." He grumbled as your walls were clenching him so tightly it was almost difficult for him to keep thrusting.

Your whole body shook with the intensity of your climax, making you nearly pass out as the male above you continued to fuck your spasming cunt.

He grunted while chasing his own release, sweat dripping down onto you from him as his squeezing became more of a strangulation.

You began to slip into darkness before a dizzying sensation filled your head, his hands moving from your throat to let air back into your lungs. Coughing immediately as you choked to breathe, Tojis hips sputtered as your walls clamped around him with each harsh cough. He fucked a load into you while panting before finally sitting up onto his haunches and rubbing his hair back from his face.

"Jeez...can't fuck your pathetic pussy if you shove me out, dumbass."

Ugh, what an asshole. The sexiest asshole you’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Opening up the bedroom door to leave, Toji smacked your ass and you yelped loudly.

“Is my dumb puppy coming back again tomorrow to get her needy little cunt fucked?” He teased while walking out.

Before you could even reply, the color drained from your face as not one, but two Fushiguro’s now stood in the living room.

Megumi gave you a brief glance, a complete lack of interest in his face but it was still horrifying.

“Hey, how come you haven’t hit that yet?” Toji chuckled to his son, gesturing towards you while he went into the kitchen.

“She’s got a tight little cunt, you’d love it.”

Well, it finally reached that point. You had to move and change your whole identity. Because this level of embarrassment was unreal.

Megumi was never out and about in the home when you left. You could sometimes hear him come in while Toji was having his way with you, but then shortly after that you’d hear the door to his room open and close. He was always in there and you always slipped out of Tojis room unnoticed!

Megumi sighed and rolled his eyes to his fathers words. “Yeah…right. Look, I just have a question. Class related.” He said while looking back to you, not phased in the least.

“C-class?” You stammered, hardly able to calm your heartbeat.

What a weird fucking moment.

Sitting down with Megumi on the couch, the one Toji fucked you over several weeks ago, he was asking about one of the homework papers you assigned earlier today in class.

By this point, you had no idea where Toji had gone, and it felt even more awkward to be sitting here alone with your student. Especially since Toji literally talked about your still sopping pussy to him.

Despite you struggling to speak half the time, Megumi seemed to not give a single care about what you were obviously doing not too long ago.

“Um, Megumi, I’m sorry, for making this weird…”

“You’re not the only one who has been here before, he does this all the time. I’m used to it.”

That definitely didn’t make you feel any fucking better. But come on, was that really such a surprise? Toji was an absolute crappy person, of course he’d be fucking several others.

Wondering how Megumi turned out to be so polite still made your head spin.

After helping him with the assignment, you rushed out of the Fushiguro residence, planning on what country you’d move to so you’d never have to face this embarrassment again.

Obviously, you had to go back to your job the next morning. And the next day. And the next…

Though, you hadn’t gone over to get dicked down in almost two weeks now. It was hard enough to stand in the front of Megumi’s class, knowing he’s heard you howling like a wild animal.

But, you’d be lying if you pretended that you were better off without seeing Toji.

None of your personal toys at home could even come close to give you that sickening high you only achieved by riding his dick.

Laying in bed after whimpering through a pathetic and unsatisfying orgasm, you groaned in despair. Being embarrassed was swiftly getting replaced with a level of horminess that was driving you mad.

Megumi was clearly not knew to his fathers antics, and he definitely already knew you were over there so often. Cat was out of the bag long before you knew it even was!

So why fight it?

Fuck it. You needed him again. Needed him bad. Not seeing him was driving you insane. You just wanted him to fuck you stupid and let you drift away in a moment of perverted bliss.

Knocking on Tojis door the next day after rushing over from school, you impatiently awaited him to answer. When that locked turned and the door swung open, you nearly dropped your purse in awe. He was shirtless, and his hair was a mess. Your eyes shamelessly traveled down his body, drinking in those abs and whining at the sight of his v line disappearing into his pants.

“F-fuck…” you gulped under your breath.

“My my…I was wondering when your pathetic cunt would bring you back here.”

Extending out a thick and toned arm, Tojis hand gripped behind your neck, and his thumb rubbed across your ear while pulling you inside.

As your head hung off the side of Tojis bed, you couldn’t help but smile in satisfaction. Feeling those calloused hands holding your waist while he fucked you relentlessly was driving you fucking wild. His grunts and growls with every thrust put you on cloud nine.

“Missed me, didn’t you, dirty bitch?”

“Y-yes, fuck…fuck yes!” Of course you did. You were obsessed with him! You wanted to be his, his own personal plaything.

“Look at that fucking smile…You like being a whore.”

You didn’t care anymore. So long as those hands were around your throat or waist, you were in a state of bliss beyond compare. Since a couple weeks had passed, your poor pussy actually had time to rest, but now it was getting stretched back out and that delicious pain swirled in your core.

He was so rough and brutal with every thrust, but you fucking loved it.

“You wanna cum? Cum all over my fat cock in your greedy pussy?” He teased while adjusting his hips to hammer into that spongy flesh that would send you over the edge in seconds.

His abs brushed across your aching clit just perfectly and you swung your legs up and over his waist, opening yourself up further.

Feeling his cockhead sink further towards your cervix, you screamed in euphoria, unable to handle how good he could fuck you.

“That’s it, that’s a good little dumb mutt!” He crudely laughed, fucking you so hard you were sliding off the bed.

“F-fuck, fuck me! Fuck me!!” You sobbed as your walls clenched around his unforgiving pace.

Hearing the front door open, you did your best to ignore it. Megumi would know it was you, but he’d pay no attention to it. So there wasn’t a reason to deny yourself of this amazing orgasm washing over you, making your body shake from the severity of it.

That was, until you suddenly realized through your daze, that Toji had left the bedroom door open.

And as your head was hanging off the bed, you locked eyes with Megumi who stood in the living room with his bag strap now slipping down his shoulder.

Your face was contorted in sickening pleasure, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away to break the stare.

“S-shit, T-Toji, the door!” You whined, face flushed in a heavy blush knowing Megumi just watched you cum from his dad.

“Dumb puppy…I wanted him to see.” He snickered while leaning up and grabbing onto your tits almost painfully. He kneaded them in his hands while continuing to roll his hips into yours.

“Come on, get in here and help me fuck this needy mutt.”

“What!?” Your head snapped up at Tojis words, but one of those large hands covered your face, shoving your head back down in a rough motion.

“Don’t act like you aren’t interested boy, caught you jerking off to the video of her on my phone.”

Your eyes were wide in pure humiliation at this point, and you couldn’t even think of a single thing to say. Surely, surely Megumi would deny. He wasn’t going to fuck his teacher along side his dad, right??

Oh god…the horrible thoughts filled your mind in an instant. And not in the way you imagined…

Toji was an absolute beast in the bed, if his son was the same…

You felt your pussy clench at the thought of being taken by both of them, and Toji smirked down to you, knowing where your mind was going.

“Fucking whore, getting more soaked at the idea of it. Look boy, she’s getting wet for you. Don’t act like you don’t want to fuck her.”

Megumi remained staring at you for only a brief moment before he huffed and ducked his head down, rubbing the back of it.

“Fine.”

It was obscene. It was beyond inappropriate.

Felt even more intense than any porn you've seen.

But you couldn't get enough.

These two gorgeous men were licking your cunt, nearly fighting each other over it. You kept your leg held up as you lay on your side, panting and staring at them in a daze.

Toji was fucking your still twitching hole with his tongue, and Megumi was sucking on your swollen clit, occasionally nipping to make you squeal.

"Get up there, and fuck this whore.” Toji growled to his son, shoving him more over you.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't want this.

Megumi was flushed in the face and he wouldn't look at you while he climbed over your anxious body, but your arms welcomed him greatly in an embrace.

You were surprised how quickly his cock slipped into your aching cunt, but even more in shock at his size. A big, fat and veiny cock, just like his father.

Your arms and head fell back on the bed, breathless as your student fucked you like you weren't worth anything.

It didn't take Toji long to hop on the bed and kneel on either side of your head. He gripped his cock and bounced the end of it onto your face, making your mouth open.

"That's my perfect, dumb puppy...getting fucked in your mouth and cunt at the same time. Fucking hell, you're a filthy whore."

He groaned while shoving his dick down your throat. Your eyes widened as far as they could, a new level of ecstasy and arousal washing over you. Megumi leaned over you while he hammered into you, letting your pussy swallow him whole each time. Toji bucked his hips to fuck your face, and even though you gagged and whimpered, he only sank further into your warm and wet throat.

"F-fuck, I'm gonna fucking cum..." Megumi growled to himself, falling apart at how tightly your gummy walls sucked him in.

"Hold that shit in. This is a dirty bitch, she wants so much more."

God, you couldn't agree more.

"Goddamn...you need to see this." Toji panted while pulling himself from your throat. You coughed and gasped for air as he lifted your head but immediately your body went limp to the sight.

He made you watch as Megumis cock disappeared into your pussy, and how when he pulled back, you were gripped around him so tightly.

"Told you, her fucking pussy has an amazing grip."

"T-Toji, I wanna, wanna cum!" You begged with tears in your eyes, unable to handle the sight of Megumis dick fucking your sloppy cunt.

"So cum! Cum on my sons dick, you disgusting bitch."

When Tojis hands slipped around your throat, your body tensed instantly and he let out a rude laugh as you squirted all over Megumis abs.

“Fuuuck~!” Megumis hips faltered as your walls clamped down around him, and you sobbed through moans when he slammed his hips down into yours, burying himself balls deep in your cunt before unloading into you.

Drool spilled from the side of your partially opened mouth, lost in a complete daze as you could see Megumis cock twitch and throb while your pussy milked him dry.

He chanced looking up to you, but once your doe eyes locked with his, he immediately looked away, gritting his teeth and grumbling.

“You’ve been wanting to fuck her for a while now, don’t pretend otherwise. Now move, time for my turn.” Toji grinned down to you while stroking your cheeks with his thumbs.

“My dumb puppy needs her little pussy completely ruined.”

[ophelia-writes-fics]

you're screwed up and brilliant, look like a million dollar man [kilgrave x reader - 18+]

A second run-in with Kilgrave leaves you reeling.

Tags (please read!): smut, fem!reader, AFAB!reader, mind control kink, mentions of marking during sex, fear, implied fear kink, degradation, some praise (but mostly mixed with degradation), humiliation, humiliation/degradation kink, hair pulling, edging, begging, frottage, handjobs, overstimulation, like a LOT of overstimulation, i cannot emphasize the overstimulation enough, possessiveness, light face slapping, mirror sex, riding, clit slapping, painplay, spanking, sadism (kilgrave), masochism (reader), multiple orgasms, a frankly unrealistic amount of orgasms

Word Count: ~6.3k

TWs/CWs:

super dubious consent. like last time, reader is into everything without being compelled (with one smallish exception if you squint?), but again, it's not negotiated

unprotected sex

mind control/mind altering

Kilgrave is still a walking red flag (and we love him anyways <3)

(as always, talk to your partners, get consent, etc :))

part one here

It had been a long, exhausting week since you last saw the man known only to you as Kilgrave. You hadn’t stopped thinking about him since your last encounter, not just because you’d had to take the next few days off of work afterwards — your boss was worried that getting up onstage covered in bruises, scratches, and bite marks might send the wrong message to the patrons of the club. She’d been worried about you too, but you’d assured her that everything was fine. Which it was. The other reason you couldn’t stop thinking about him was because you desperately wanted to see him again. 

However, you still needed money, so having time off at your night job meant picking up evening shifts at your day job, which was bartending at a casino on the other side of town. It was Thursday, which meant the place was absolutely deserted, and the patrons who did show up were barely drinking anything. The past two hours of your shift had involved nothing but standing behind a bar, staring into space, and wiping down the pristine counter every few minutes in an attempt to look busy.

However, you were snapped out of your mindless rhythm when your coworker tapped you on the shoulder.

“Hey,” she said, anxiously shifting from one foot to the other. “So, my break is coming up and I’m super tired and I really wanna take it, but there’s some weird shit going on in there.” She jerked her head towards the main room. “There’s this guy at the poker table? He keeps winning with the worst fucking hands I’ve ever seen, and it’s, like, insane amounts of money. Way more than I’ve ever seen anyone come in here with. Could you take over for me for, like, 20 minutes? And could you keep an eye on them and tell me what happens when I get back?” 

Damn it. 

There was one man you knew who could definitely win at high-stakes poker with the worst hands imaginable. You didn’t know for sure, but you had a sneaking suspicion that was only growing that you’d be seeing him sooner than you’d previously expected. 

You took the champagne bottle from your coworker’s hands without a second thought and walked into the main room, bracing yourself for whatever waited inside. 

The moment you stepped through the door, all your suspicions were confirmed. Even with his back turned to you, you could practically feel his presence in the air. 

Right there, holding court in the center of the room, sitting at the head of a table covered in poker chips and stacks of cash, was Kilgrave. 

You sighed. Goddamn it, you thought to yourself. As captivating as he was, you were still technically on the job, and you’d get fired if the house lost that much money on your watch. You’d get in extra trouble if anyone found out someone had cheated their way into getting it. Your mind raced as you tried to formulate a strategy. 

Okay. You can’t try to kick him out. If you call security, he’ll just tell them to fuck off and they will. You can’t tell the dealer, because there’s no way he’ll believe that the other players have been mind controlled. Besides, you can’t call attention to yourself. He’ll recognize you. Unless…

An idea clicked in your head. 

There’s no way he’d give up that kind of money, unless he had something better to tempt him.

You weren’t sure it would work, but if it did, well… it was a win-win situation, wasn’t it? 

You slowly crept up to the table. No one spared you more than a passing glance, including Kilgrave, whose eyes were firmly on the cards in front of him. You snuck a look over his shoulder as you approached. He really did have the worst hand imaginable. It was almost funny. 

You took a breath to steady yourself, then softly cleared your throat as you placed a hand on his shoulder. 

You’d been expecting a few different reactions, but you didn’t expect him to shake you off without even looking up. 

Oh, of course he’s a dick to waitresses. It deeply annoyed you that, somehow, this didn’t make you want to fuck him less. Irritated, without giving it a second thought, you gave him a light, backhanded smack on the arm. 

The table went silent. That got his attention. 

He turned around to face you. His expression, which had started as a mix of bewilderment and anger, quickly shifted to one of alarmed recognition. He blinked once, his brow furrowing. 

“It’s you,” he said, his tone unreadable. 

You gave him a tight-lipped smile. “It’s me,” you replied. 

Kilgrave stared you down for a moment. You desperately wanted to break eye contact, for him to forget you were ever there, to just go back to work, until suddenly, his expression changed slightly, and he turned to face the men at the table, setting his cards down. 

“Right. I’m leaving. Do not get up from this table, and don’t cheat. We’ll continue this game when I get back.”

He stood up and took your arm, pulling you away. 

“Are you really just going to leave them there?” You craned your neck to try and see if his command had worked, and sure enough, everyone remained seated and still. A knot formed in your stomach. 

He didn’t answer as he pulled you out of the room and down the hallway to the coat check, snapping his fingers at the employee behind the counter. 

“You. Take over for her. Serve champagne, clean tables, whatever it is she does.” Kilgrave plucked the bottle of champagne from your hand and thrust it at the checker. You hadn’t even realized you were still holding it. “Close the coat check. We’ll be going back there. Don’t bother us.” And with that, he breezed past, pulling you into the coatroom with him and slamming the door behind you both. 

The moment the door was shut, Kilgrave cornered you against a wall — not touching you, but close enough that he could grab you if you tried to leave. 

“What are you doing here?” he hissed. 

“I work here!” you replied indignantly. 

“Tell the truth.”

“I. Work. Here. It’s my day job.” 

His posture relaxed slightly, but he still didn’t step back. 

“Did you follow me here?” 

“No,” you answered, keeping your tone as calm as possible. You just hang around shady establishments a lot, apparently, you added silently. 

He leaned back a bit. 

“Why did you approach me?” 

“Because you were illegally winning a ton of money off the house and I don’t want to get fired,” you huffed, before somewhat reluctantly muttering, “And I wanted you to fuck me again.”

“Repeat that last bit?” 

“I wanted you to fuck me again,” you snapped, a bit louder than you’d meant to. “But frankly, right now I’m not in the mood anymore.”

He pursed his lips. “Why not?” 

“Because you’re keeping those people prisoner in there!”

“Which people?” 

You stared at him in disbelief, trying to gauge whether or not he was messing with you. Shockingly, his confusion seemed completely sincere. “Those men at the poker table. Are you just going to make them sit there for however long you’re gone?” 

He glanced in the direction of the casino and sighed with irritation, as if he’d just remembered they were there, before shaking it off with a slight roll of his eyes. 

“Forget about them. Come upstairs with me.”

Your brain filled with that all-too-familiar cold fog. It felt like you had tripped going up the stairs - your whole body was thrown off balance, your heart raced, and your thoughts raced to catch up after the interruption. What had you been thinking about? Something about the main room? 

You must have been worried about someone covering for your coworker. Yes, that seemed right. He’d told someone to do it, hadn’t he? Yes, he had. Then it was fine. There was nothing to worry about. 

With that, your brain fog cleared, and your worries went with it. You realized you were trailing behind him as he walked towards the elevators. 

As you passed the entrance to the casino itself, you turned your head slightly and peeked into the room. You cocked your head. Huh. I wonder what all those guys are doing just sitting at that table. I don’t think they were there before.

-

When the elevator arrived at the top floor, Kilgrave walked ahead of you along the hallway to the penthouse suite at the very end, pointing you towards the bed once you were inside. 

You grinned, reclining on your back and supporting yourself on your elbows as you kicked off your shoes, watching him shrug off his jacket and undo his belt before sitting down at the armchair in the corner of the room. 

He then turned his gaze toward you and clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Stand up,” he ordered, as if it should have been obvious. You obeyed, and it felt like second nature by now. You felt the cold hardwood floor under your feet, even through your stockings, and you couldn’t help but turn your gaze slightly downward as he observed you, scanning you up and down for any imperfections. 

He sighed. “No, no, this won’t do.” 

Your heart dropped. He couldn’t be bored of you already, could he? You felt slightly panicky, as the reality of what he could do caught up to you again. Would he make you forget everything you’d done that day? Forget he existed? Would he kill you? Your mind raced as you tried to figure out if you could run before he ordered you to do anything. You felt your muscles tensing, preparing to bolt at a moment’s notice. 

“Take off your clothes,” he commanded, keeping his dark eyes on you. 

Your whole body flooded with relief and arousal. You briefly scolded yourself as you quickly stripped out of your uniform, the rational side of your brain reminding you that worrying that he was going to kill you if he was even slightly dissatisfied with you is probably a red flag before the horny side of your brain dismissed the thought with a well, he didn’t, and you don’t know he would, so it’s probably fine. 

You stood bare before him, hands clasped in front of you, obediently awaiting his instructions. He beckoned you over with a small motion of his finger, and you sank to your knees in front of him. You fidgeted nervously as he watched you, biting your lip as you worked up the nerve to ask him for what you wanted most. 

“Could you, um…could you do that…thing again?” 

His brows raised slightly. “What ‘thing’?” 

“The thing where you…um…command me, or whatever it is you call it. The mind control thing.” You hesitated before adding a quiet “please.” 

You weren’t sure what you were expecting, if you were expecting any response at all, but one of the last items on your list of things you were expecting to come out of Kilgrave’s mouth was a short, shocked, high-pitched laugh. A grin spread across his face as he stared down at you, and you felt a fluttering in your chest. 

“You really would let me do whatever I want to you.” It was a statement, not a question, but you nodded vigorously anyway. “God, that’s disgusting. You’re so desperate to get off that you’d cum your brains out if I mind controlled you?!” 

You squirmed, face burning as you clenched your thighs, and he laughed again. You felt pathetic, and it made your cunt ache for him. 

He considered you for a moment—you could practically feel him wondering what exactly he should do with you— before stretching one leg in out front of him, positioning himself so that the toe of his brand-new, expensive-looking leather dress shoe was just barely starting to press into your clit. You kept completely still, waiting for his orders, your body alight with anticipation.

“You want to get off that badly, then do it,” Kilgrave said, his bored tone only thinly veiling his enthusiasm to watch. 

You wasted no time, desperately rubbing yourself against him the minute you were permitted to, grinding your sensitive clit against the black leather. You bit your lip, moaning in humiliated arousal at the feeling, watching as your pussy dripped with need all over the supple material as you fucked yourself stupid. 

You felt Kilgrave’s hand in your hair, pulling you closer and shoving your cheek against his knee, holding you in place and keeping your eyes on him as you rutted against him. 

“You’re filthy,” he rasped, pressing his foot into your clit harder as you watched his arousal grow. “You’re disgusting, getting off like this, riding my fucking shoe, it’s fucking vile. God, I just want to watch you do that for hours…and you would, wouldn’t you? If I ordered you, you’d do it. I don’t think I’d even have to control you, I think you just want it that badly. Such a depraved little thing, aren’t you?” 

You nodded, and he smiled at you. 

“Of course you are. Keep going. Don’t you dare stop. I don’t care how sore you get, you’re going to keep going until you wear yourself out. Do you hear me?” He pulled your hair tighter, turning your face to him for emphasis. “Nod if you understand me.” 

You obeyed, feeling the friction against your cheek as you nodded again. You kept going, desperately chasing your orgasm, your senses blurring into a pleasured haze as your eyes rolled back, when without warning, your whole body seized, harshly stopping your motions. It took your brain a moment to process that Kilgrave had told you to stop. You looked up at him, and you must have looked as betrayed as you felt, because a self-satisfied smile appeared across his face. 

“Oh, sorry,” he mocked, mimicking your affronted pout before his grin returned. “It just looked like you were getting close. I wanted to remind you that I didn’t say you could cum.” 

You whined in protest, but the sound was cut off when Kilgrave pressed his hand over your mouth. He leaned back once you were quiet, his detached demeanor only slightly interrupted by the visible outline of his hard cock in his pants. 

“Keep going, but don’t cum. You don’t deserve it yet.” 

You obeyed. Of course you did. Your body betrayed you, automatically stopping you before you could cum, each time getting just that little bit closer before it was ripped away, over and over again until you lost count. It was torture, and although you would have done anything for it to end, you couldn’t get enough, drinking in every sensation at once. All the while, Kilgrave watched you intently, only speaking when you began to beg after what you thought was your seventh time being edged, although you’d long since lost count. 

“Kilgrave, p-please, I can’t anymore, it’s too much, I’m going to break, I can’t take any more!” 

He gave you a mocking little frown in response. “What a shame. I thought you were tougher than that.” 

“I am, I can be! I just — ahh! Please, please, I just want it so bad…” 

“Oh, is that it? You just want it so badly? In that case…” He patted your head, which would have made you melt if it hadn’t been so condescending. “You can make yourself useful, can’t you? Use that empty head of yours and think of something you can do to earn it.” 

You didn’t dare stop rubbing against him, afraid you’d be punished if you stopped edging yourself for even a moment, so you kept going, the torturous friction of the fabric of his trousers against your clit making your heart pound as you leaned forward to undo his belt and take his cock in your hand. 

He offered nothing more than a small moan from between clenched teeth in response, but that was all you needed. You stroked his cock, slowly and gently at first, watching him as closely as you could. You followed every cue his body gave you - every small motion, every sharp breath, every thrust of his hips - chasing them, desperate for more. You wanted to earn it. You needed to earn it. Your body longed for it like oxygen, longed for approval, for your orgasm, for his cock finally inside you again. 

You stroked him harder; slow, steady motions that lavished him with attention and calmed your shaking hands. Judging by the way he gripped the arm of the chair, he seemed to be nearly as close as you were. You sped up both your hips and your hand, trying to finish him off before he could rip your pleasure away again, moving entirely on instinct and desperation. However, as you neared your peak, you felt his hand on your wrist, pulling you away. You looked up, your vision slightly cloudy, prepared to beg him not to stop you, but the command never came. All he did was look back at you, eagerly watching as you fucked yourself against him. 

You refused to let your opportunity slip away. Unless he forced you not to, then you were going to cum. You sped up, ignoring the ache in your muscles. Your hips stuttered and ground against him harder, rubbing your clit with short, rough little thrusts. Your vision was completely out of focus now, your eyes half-lidded — your brain was too fucked out to function properly, let alone see clearly. Every bit of your body burned, but all you could do was keep going and going and going, getting closer and closer, your breath coming in quick gasps as you rapidly approached your peak, and he still didn’t stop you.  

Your entire body tensed as your orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, muscles trembling from being clenched so tightly for so unbearably long. You gave a strangled moan that became a wail as the sensation fully washed over you, and you collapsed against Kilgrave, your hips still erratically jerking against him. You felt overwhelming relief as he let go of your hair; the sudden loss of tension made you realize how tightly he’d been holding on. He shoved your chin upward with his knee, forcing you to make eye contact. 

“Get on the bed,” he ordered, and your stomach dropped. You were thoroughly worn out and so overstimulated it hurt, but the look in Kilgrave’s eyes told you that you weren’t getting a break. 

You clambered unsteadily to your feet, nearly falling twice, legs still shaking. You barely managed to get upright enough to collapse facedown onto the duvet. 

You moaned weakly, feeling Kilgrave’s hands around your hips before he flipped you over so that you were facing him. He leaned in close, lips nearly touching yours, his hands holding your wrists in place by your head, his cock pressing against your clit in a way that had you fighting your own instincts to squirm away from the overstimulation.  

“Now, did you follow my orders from last time?” 

Your mind raced to clear away the exhaustion as you tried to remember the request he’d given you the last time you met, and you nodded. “I haven’t slept with anyone else,” you panted as you tried to catch your breath. 

“Hmm,” Kilgrave purred, letting go of one wrist to tangle his fingers in your hair. “And why is that?” 

You blinked in confusion. “Because…you told me to?” 

Kilgrave clicked his tongue once in disapproval. “No, no, that can’t be it,” he said, his expression one of feigned contemplation. “Any order I give wears off after twelve hours. You wouldn’t know that, of course,” he gave you a quick glance before continuing, “So you must have not wanted to.” 

For some reason, you’d assumed that his commands lasted longer. Looking back, it was odd that you couldn’t tell when whatever power he had wore off. But he was right, you supposed. Whether the thought was originally yours or not, you hadn’t wanted to fuck anyone else for at least six days after the command would have worn off, so you hadn’t. 

You nodded in agreement, a bit dazed. It was so hard to focus with him touching you. 

“And why didn’t you want to?” 

That you didn’t have an answer prepared for. 

“Um…I…just didn’t?” Your response came out like a question. 

“Hmm, not quite.” Kilgrave tilted his head slightly to one side, waiting for another answer, but when you stayed quiet, he leaned in further, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. 

“The correct answer,” he whispered, his tone growing dangerous, “is that you don’t want to fuck anyone else because you’re mine. Isn’t that right?” 

The familiar brain fog took over as you felt a warmth in the pit of your stomach. “Yes, it is,” you replied instinctually. 

“Then say it.” 

“I��m yours, Kilgrave.” 

“Again.” 

“I’m yours! Now please, please fuck me, or I swear to god I’ll—“

“You’ll what?” His tone darkened. 

You bit your lip. You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know what you could do against him. You couldn’t overpower him. You wouldn’t ever want to. 

He reached up and slapped your face — lightly, but hard enough to know that he wasn’t afraid to take things further if you didn’t cooperate. 

“Answer me, slut. What exactly are you going to do to me if I don’t fuck you right now?” 

Your mouth opened of its own accord at his command. “Nothing,” you choked out. “I won’t do anything. I’ll be good.” 

Kilgrave rewarded you with a satisfied “hmm” and a smug smile before pulling away. 

“Show me your neck,” he ordered. 

Confused and a bit terrified, but in no position to argue, you craned your chin upward, closing your eyes as you exposed your most vulnerable flesh to the man above you. You could feel your pulse jump, just below your sensitive skin. You couldn’t hold back a shiver when Kilgrave ran his fingertips, gently and slowly, down the column of your throat, over the nearly-faded bruises he’d left the last time you saw each other. 

He went still for a moment, lingering on the prints of his fingers on your skin before pressing down ever-so-slightly. 

You gasped, but managed to keep yourself from squirming as Kilgrave wrapped his slender hand around your neck, not hard enough to choke you, but enough to make you need to take a deeper breath than normal. You squeezed your eyes shut, pressing your thighs together and willing yourself to be patient, before you felt Kilgrave’s other hand shove your legs apart before slamming two fingers into you. Your body jerked involuntarily as he roughly scissored them, thrusting them in and out a few times before pulling away entirely and sitting down on the edge of the bed. You glanced up at him, slightly confused. 

“Come here,” he ordered, patting his leg in a clear invitation for you. “Face the mirror.”

You obeyed, struggling to move on your still-shaky legs, situating yourself so that your back was to him as you lowered yourself onto his lap. You gasped as you felt Kilgrave press his cock into you as you did so, impatiently forcing you backwards so that he was buried deep in your cunt with barely a moment for you to adjust to the feeling of him inside you. His hands grasped your inner thighs, pulling them apart roughly so that you had no choice but to watch yourself being fucked. He leaned in close, biting your neck before ordering: 

“Ride me. I don’t care if your legs hurt. Don’t stop fucking yourself until I tell you to.”

You were in no position to disobey. You moved as best you could, still trying to stay as close as possible to him, grinding your hips against his lap, closing your eyes as you felt him hit your most sensitive spot. He moved his legs so that they were keeping yours wide open, pinning you right where he wanted you. He grabbed your chin roughly and forced your half-lidded gaze towards the mirror on the wall in front of you. 

“Look at yourself. Look at you, getting fucked by a complete stranger. It’s pathetic. I absolutely ruined you the last time we met and you loved it so much, you just couldn’t help but bother me while I was working, eh? Oh, you must have been desperate for me,” he murmured through clenched teeth as he fucked into you, jerking his hips upward. “No one else can fuck you like this, can they? I’m the only one who can control you the way you love so much, so I’m the only one who gets to fuck you. Isn’t that right?”

There was that possessiveness again, making your heart beat faster than it already was. You reached upward, clutching the hand that held your face, and leaned back into him. 

“Fuck, yes, yes, yes, I’m yours, I’m yours, Kilgrave…” 

His name fell from your lips like a prayer as he fucked you. You worked your hips, bouncing up and down on his cock. Your eyes stayed glued to yourself in the mirror, staring at your fucked-out reflection, thoroughly mesmerized by the sight of his dick inside you. One of his hands wandered to your hip, gripping it hard; you could feel his nails digging little crescent marks in your skin. His other hand found its place at your clit, delicately massaging it with light, little circles, teasing you, tormenting you.

You arched your back in a silent plea for more, your moan becoming a sharp yelp when his hand came down hard and slapped your clit at full force. 

Your legs automatically tried to close, but Kilgrave had you firmly kept in place. He leaned upward, pulling you close, your back pressed firmly against his chest. 

“Oh, what’s the matter, sweetheart? Is it too much?” 

You paused, considering it, then nodded weakly, your eyes screwed shut. Your heart had skipped a beat at the pet name, but you had more pressing matters at hand. 

“Really? You came like a whore when I hit you with a fucking belt, but if I slap your cunt just a bit too hard, then you start whining?” 

You nodded again, feeling thoroughly humiliated. 

Kilgrave hummed in satisfaction. “Mmm. That’s too bad, I suppose. You’ll have to learn to like it.” 

You whimpered and writhed as another hit came, then  another. You moaned, starting to feel the stinging pain give way to a wave of pleasure, but still you trembled, completely overwhelmed. 

“See? Look at you. You’re desperate for it. I know how much you love it when I hit you. Stop squirming and let me give you what you want.” 

Your body relaxed involuntarily, eyes automatically locking onto yourself in the mirror. Again his hand came down, and your hips jumped forward, anticipating it.

You bit your lip as the stinging pain slowly settled into a pleasurable tingling feeling, watching as your clit grew bright red and slightly swollen as Kilgrave kept going, slap after slap after slap until you were gasping for air, jerking your hips against nothing in a desperate bid to cum, your head spinning. 

He stroked your clit with the tip of his index finger, just the barest of touches, but it was enough to make you flinch at the sensitivity. You groaned, but you still thrust your hips forward, wanting more. 

“Oh, look at that. Feels good, doesn’t it? Greedy fucking whore.” He punctuated the sentence with one final, harsh slap before pulling out and moving you off his lap.

You tumbled limply, until you landed in the middle of the bed, facedown and panting, feeling your abused clit throb pleasurably with every heartbeat. You didn’t even have time to try and take a full breath before you felt Kilgrave position himself above you, his cock brushing at your entrance. 

 “Are you gonna be good for me?” he murmured close to your ear. 

You nodded, and you felt him lean closer, his teeth grazing your neck before he spoke again. 

“Then tell me what you’re going to let me do.” 

You exhaled a moan before taking a shaky breath in. “Whatever you want to do. I can take it.”

“Is that so?” 

“Mm-hmm,” you sighed. You wriggled your hips, trying to maneuver yourself back onto his cock. “Just fuck me, I’ve been thinking about you all week — oh my fucking god!” 

Kilgrave had grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head back, forcing himself inside of you with a deep moan that was almost a growl as he did so. You frantically moved to match his pace, throwing your hips back against his to meet every brutal thrust. Your eyes rolled back as you felt him fuck against your most sensitive spot, over and over and over again, never letting up, never faltering. 

He slapped your ass once, twice, three times before ordering you to cum. No teasing, no making you beg, just one simple order: “Cum.” And you obeyed, grinding out your orgasm, keening with pleasure as you did so. 

It was nearly a full minute before your brain started working again and you realized he hadn’t stopped fucking you. Your thoughts were hazy, but you had the vague feeling that that was odd. You remembered last time, and how he’d refused to let you cum until he was right on the edge. So, you mused vaguely, you’d figured he was close, but he was still going.

However, you didn’t have any time to think about it any further, because he was ordering you to cum again - the same way, just one blunt command. 

“Cum.” 

And your body obeyed without warning. 

You normally needed more time between orgasms; your body was still reeling from the last one. And yet, you still found yourself cumming, trembling from the force of it, your cunt clenching onto him desperately. 

Your shaky hands faltered where they gripped the sheets and you briefly scrambled to try and hold yourself upright, but your efforts were in vain. The minute you thought your body was stable, the command came again. 

“Cum.”

This time, you completely let go. There was no way you could have even tried to hold yourself together. The pleasure was blinding you, making your heart skip a beat as it raced in your chest. You fell forward, burying your face in the sheets. The only thing holding your hips upright was Kilgrave, his grip on you holding firm even as you convulsed, unable to regain control of your exhausted muscles.

You were nearly hyperventilating now, your breath coming fast and hard as you turned your face to the side and desperately tried to get words out. 

“Wh…what…what the f….fuck are y…you…doing to me?”

You couldn’t see Kilgrave, but you heard the grin in his voice, even as he panted with the exertion of fucking you. 

“You said I could do whatever I wanted. What I want is to see how many times you can cum before you tire yourself out. I’m not going to stop until you can’t move, and you don’t get my cum inside you until then. Besides, being mind controlled makes you a complete slut anyway, doesn’t it? You’d do it, whether I commanded you to or not. Now be a good girl and cum.”

And your body obeyed without question. 

You bit down on the sheets to keep from biting your tongue, half-pained moans of overwhelming bliss escaping from your throat in guttural, needy cries. You couldn’t feel your legs anymore; you had no idea how your lower half was still upright, and you could feel every nerve in your overstimulated cunt begging for a moment of rest that never came. 

For what felt like hours and hours, every time you started to come down from your last orgasm, Kilgrave would order another from you, and you had no choice but to comply. Eventually, your shaking legs gave in, but he just maneuvered you onto your back without hesitation and kept going. 

Around the time of what you thought must have been the eighth one (although there was no way you could have kept track at that point), you mustered every single bit of your strength to try and resist his orders. You held out for as long as you possibly could, letting the cold fog fill your head for as much as you could bear it, your entire body shaking with the effort, until you cracked and the torturous pleasure flooded you, leaving you even more of a wreck than you had been before. Even worse (even better?), the feeling of being mind-controlled by him acted like a direct line to your brain’s pleasure center, and trying to disobey only made the feeling intensify the longer you tried to resist. Whenever you finally let go, your orgasms only got stronger. And the stronger they got, the more vicious Kilgrave became, taunting you as he fucked your dripping cunt: 

“Oh, yes, take it, just like that, we both know how much you love getting fucked like this…oh, are you trying to resist again? That’s precious. Fine, struggle all you like, you know you’re going to cum anyway, don’t you? There you are, just cum for me. Let it all out. It feels so good, doesn’t it? I know, it feels so good for you to be treated like a slut. God, look at your cute little cunt, leaking all over me, making such a fucking mess. Keep taking it. This is where you belong, isn’t it? Getting impaled on my cock. You’re all mine, all fucking mine. Cum for me, cum for me…such a good girl…fuck, you’re so tight, how are you still so tight after being fucked for this long? It’s like you were made for me, made to get fucked by me. God, I love hearing you scream for me…I don’t even think I’d have to tell you to cum at this point, I think you’d just keep going all on your own, wouldn’t you? Mmm, of course you would. But I know what you’d like more than that. You want me to order you to, don’t you? Come on, beg for it…ask nicely…there you go, I’ve trained you so well, haven’t I? Go on then, cum for me…”

Finally, finally, long after every single one of your senses had been dulled into near-nonexistence, long after your dripping pussy had gone numb with overstimulation, and long after you stopped being able to process anything Kilgrave said, your jerking muscles gave into exhaustion and collapsed, leaving you unable to do anything but moan quietly, your voice having gone hoarse ages ago.

As your cunt twitched weakly with what you prayed would be your final orgasm of the night, you felt Kilgrave’s grasp on you tighten. Through your blurred vision, you saw him throw his head back in ecstasy as he came deep, deep inside you. 

Your eyes rolled back and your lids fluttered shut as he pulled out of you, the relief so intense you would have cried if you hadn’t been so worn out. 

You heard soft footsteps as he made his way to the side of the bed, then felt his hand brush something wet from the corner of your mouth. You felt slightly embarrassed at the realization that you were so fucked out that you’d started drooling. 

You mustered your last bit of energy to crack one eye slightly open. 

“Thank you,” you sighed, your lips curving into a smile as your eyes shut again. You thought you felt a hand brush your hair, but you couldn’t tell - you were already half asleep and dreaming. 

-

When you woke up, it was well past midnight. Your shift had ended hours ago. You groaned as you stretched your sore muscles and rolled over in bed. You were briefly surprised at the realization that you were under the covers, before deciding that you must have pulled them up around you in your sleep. You didn’t let yourself consider the alternative, or that you’d woken up in the exact same position you’d fallen asleep in. 

You blinked a couple of times, trying to adjust your vision to the dark. You weren’t expecting to see Kilgrave there, but his absence still caused a slight pang of hurt. Still, you figured, no one had come up to clean out the room or kick you out since he had, so he had at least booked it for the night. You decided to take advantage of it as your exhaustion caught up with you again and you sank back into a deep, deep sleep.  

-

You woke up a full twelve hours later at noon the next day. Thank god it’s my day off, you thought to yourself as you gingerly got out of bed. You slowly put on your uniform, picking it up from where you’d left it on the floor, wincing as you moved. Still, despite the slight ache that you felt all over, you’d slept better than you had in ages. 

As you smoothed your skirt down, you felt an odd texture inside one of the pockets, a slight crinkling that gave you pause. You felt your heartbeat quicken as you pulled out a small, folded piece of paper. You slowly, anxiously unfolded it to find three sentences written in pencil. The first was an address — based on the street name, you knew it was downtown, in an incredibly expensive neighborhood. You felt a grin spread across your face as you read the rest of the note:

“Save me the trouble of coming to your job again. 8:00 pm tomorrow.

-K.”

You knew exactly where you were going to be tomorrow.

A/N: i literally cannot thank you guys enough for sticking with this, i know the wait has been absolutely insane, but i really do love writing for you guys, and i want to thank each and every one of you for reading <3 as always, my requests are open, and feel free to like/comment/rb if you enjoyed this fic :)) thank you all again for your patience and for all the love - i had NO idea my first kilgrave fic would blow up so much, but i'm delighted that it did!

🍓 the title of this fic is from million dollar man by lana del rey 🍓

[dinsdjrn]

gone from austin | j. miller | part three

brothers best friend!pre-outbreak!joel x f!reader

summary: Joel Miller: the one that got away; right person, wrong time. Now you’re back in Austin and it hurts just as bad, as if you’d never left five years ago

warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, no use of y/n, alcohol consumption, light angst.

a/n: well i've only tried to write this three times, not loving it but anyways posting it to get it out there.

prev part | next part || series masterlist | main masterlist

Part Three | June 2002

I took my love, I took it down. 

It felt weird to be in your scrubs again, weird but good. You hadn’t accepted any full time work, just a locum position at the children’s hospital in South Austin. They had brought up full time hours and you had politely declined. You wish you could have claimed leave indefinitely, but E.I. doesn’t take ‘ accidentally ruined my personal life’ as a claim sadly. 

Casual work was good though, it meant you could buy your own groceries and help Jake and Kels here and there. It also distracted you from your grief; grief of the lives you could have had that slipped away from you. It had occurred to you that you were most likely at fault for your own misfortune, it's happened twice now that your life has blown up just fantastically. You faced the music and accepted that the common denominator both times was you, and in time you would continue to do what you did best, run. 

You didn’t focus on your own personal anguish for long, there were treatments to be ordered and patients to be seen. It felt good to work your twelve and then go home, satisfied with your work. You had even begun to make friends with some of the other doctors and nurses in the emergency department. They knew you weren’t a permanent fixture, but it still felt good to meet new people and have more of a circle that exceeded your brother and his buddies in Austin.

Toward the end of your shift you were desperately looking forward to a nap. You were used to a bit more of a schedule in day surgery, consulting in emergency was pure and utter chaos. The shifts went by fast and left you feeling the good kind of tired at the end of the day. 

You were just finishing up your shift, typing out the last few notes for your patient's medical records when your cell started buzzing on the desk.

“Hello?” you answered. 

“Hey!” Kelseys voice sounded on the other end of line. 

“Hey, is everything alright? I’m just finishing up at work. I’ll be home in an hour or so, just depends on the bus.” 

“Uh, yeah! I just wanted to see if you had any plans after work.” 

“Uh-“ you thought about a small white lie. Knowing Kels was about to convince you to do something. 

“No, I was just going to go to bed.” You admitted. 

“Okay,  well I’m going to pick you up from work and we are going out tonight,” She said excitedly.

“Kels…” You warned. 

“C’mon! It will be just like old times, I promised Tommy I’d convince you to go. Sarah’s gone to her friend's house for the night and Jake and Tommy wanted to get everyone to Gus’ Pub. Just like old times,” 

You sighed, Gus’ was your favourite back in the ‘90s they always had the best atmosphere. You had made yourselves somewhat regulars in college. 

“Ugh, I was really looking forward to going to bed.” You grumbled.

“That’s not no, so I’ll pick you up in thirty!” She said excitedly, hanging up before you could protest. 

You leaned back in your chair letting your head fall backward as you sighed, groaning toward the end. You loved Jake and Kelsey, you appreciate everything they’ve done for you, but you had a sneaking suspicion Kelsey was doing everything in her power to keep you here. To remind you of the love that you once felt for the city and the people in it.

You stood from the desk in the doctors lounge and made your way to your cubby. You had come to work in jeans and a T-shirt that would be more than fine for Gus’. You changed out of the soiled scrubs throwing them in the laundry bag and tried to fix your post-dayshift hair. 

You placed your beeper in the storage bin and made your way out of the building waiting for Kels to arrive. You liked that you could finish a twelve hour shift and still have daylight pushing the horizon at nearly nine at night. 

By the time you had arrived at the bar Jake and Tommy had clearly started the party without you. Joel was laughing at their shenanigans from the bar stool you’re sure he claimed as soon as they’d arrived. 

“God damn it, Tommy. Don’t you have anything better to do than be a complete jackass,” You heard Joel scold his brother. 

Tommy and Jake laughed at the outburst, Tommy smiling and tipping his beer in Joel’s direction.

“Where’s your sense of humor, old man,” Tommy teased. 

“Well shit, look who showed up!” Tommy drawled as you and Kels approached them. 

“Alright, soldier boy, I told you not to start without us,” Kelsey rolled her eyes at the younger Miller brother. 

You smiled at the four of them, they fell so easily into a dynamic. As much as you tried not to feel like an outsider, you were, you chose to make yourself one. So you would watch Jake hug Kels from behind as he, Joel and Tommy shot the shit. You nursed a beer in the stool next to Joel, keeping to yourself. It stung to feel like an outsider where you were once welcome, but you smiled politely and tried to look engaged. 

As the night continued you watched Kelsey pull Jake to the dance floor and Tommy flirt with a bachelorette party that had waltzed in shortly after eleven. You and Joel sat in a bit of an awkward silence unsure what to say to one another. 

Your last conversation had left a sour taste in your mouth, but it wasn’t cause to be blatantly rude to him. 

“So,” he stared awkwardly. 

“So,” you responded without much more enthusiasm. 

“Jake said you were back workin’ again.” 

“Uh, yeah, just casually while I get my shit together.” 

“Saint David’s?” He asked.

“No, No. I’m at the Dell Children’s now,” You smiled. 

He looked at you confused. You had once gone on a rant wishing Dell had a surgical ward that expanded beyond emergency medicine so you could work at your alma mater. You’re surprised he remembered such a small detail, at least you think that was the source of his confusion. 

“I’m in the emergency department, surgical consulting,” you clarified. 

“Ah,” he said, clearly nodding along without fully understanding.

“How’s the contracting business going?” You asked. 

“Other than Tommy being a pain in my ass, it’s been a’right. Work puts food on the table, can’t complain.” 

Another awkward silence fell between you. 

“So, when are you heading back to Toronto? Once you get your shit together?” 

“Never, if I get it together correctly.” 

“Oh damn, sorry, Jake told me some shit happened. I was jus-” he said looking at you apologetically. 

“It’s okay, Joel. You can always buy me another drink as an apology,” you teased. 

Joel waved the bartender over and out two more beers on his tab. 

You laughed telling him he didn’t actually have to do it, but he insisted. 

You began to fall into a comfortable conversation, talking about surface level topics, but it wasn’t awkward by any means. One of you just had to bring something up by accident to break the tension. The drinks helped lighten the mood as well. 

You weren’t sure how long you and Joel were in your own little world for before Kelsey came and pulled you onto the dance floor. 

It was so nice though to have a normal conversation with Joel, to feel less like you were at odds and more just trying to figure each other out again. So much has changed in five years and neither of you were sure where to start. Now that you started again, maybe you could relearn what it meant to be friends. 

It was nearing midnight and you were tired from dancing with Kelsey and Tommy. Joel and Jake had been hanging out at the bar when the new Dixie Chicks cover of Landslide came over the speakers. You can see Joel’s eye roll from where you’re standing, you walked toward the two men. Kelsey pulled Jake onto the floor for a dance. 

You didn’t want to make things awkward for Joel so you started singing along poorly, you grabbed his hand and spun yourself around. He chuckled at the gesture. You both looked down the bar to see Tommy sweet talking to one of the bridesmaids from earlier. 

“It is just us Miller, may as well enjoy the song!” You laughed. He shook his head at you.  

“ Time makes you bolder, even children get older, ” You continued to sing along poorly, Joel took another swig of beer and crossed his arms laughing at you. 

“C’mon old man, it’s a classic!” You laughed, grabbing his hand trying to pull him off the bar stool. 

“No, the classic involves Fleetwood Mac, this is a rip off, darlin’,” You rolled your eyes at him. 

“Ever the critic, Joel Miller.”

It was nice to be able to dance and laugh like this again. It had been months since you felt any semblance of normalcy. Yet here you were shooting the shit with Joel, enjoying yourself, and for once it felt like everything was going to turn out alright.

Joel did stand and smile at you for the last course as he swayed along with you. As the song came to an end Jake and Kelsey made their way back to you. 

“Alright, I’ll be back in a sec,” Joel said, placing his empty on the counter and making his way to the bathroom. 

“I’m going to go find Tommy,” Kelsey said, letting you and Jake have a moment together. 

He put his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into a brief hug kissing your head.

“I’m glad you came out tonight,” Jake smiled at you, taking a seat on Joel’s stool. 

“Me too, but I won’t lie I’m pretty tired,” you chuckled.

“Yeah, I can imagine.”

“So,” Jake's tone shifted more seriously, “You and Joel were getting cozy tonight.” 

“Well yeah, everyone else was a little busy. No sense denying there’s a history there, Jake, it doesn’t mean I can’t be friendly.” 

“I don’t know. I just don’t want to see either of you get hurt again,” He sighed. 

“We have boundaries, Jake. He’s a good man.” You grew frustrated. 

“He is a good man,” He pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“He’s just not good for you,” he placed his hand on your shoulder in reassurance. 

You went to protest against your brother's statement but were cut off. 

“It’s hard to watch you hurting. Austin causes you to hurt, Joel causes you to hurt. If I could convince you to stay I would, but I know you, and I know your heart isn’t here.” 

You sighed in defeat, he was right. Jake usually was, and his own wish for you to stay was proof of that. He knew you weren’t capable of being just friends with Joel, and he knew that if you stayed you would just get hurt over and over. If you stayed here tonight, if you stayed here in Austin, if you stayed in Joel’s life. For now, the only resolution you were capable of was turning in for the night with Kelsey. 

“I want to go home now,” You said to him, waving Kelsey down. 

“Want me to come with you?” Jake asked in earnest. 

“No, you have fun with the boys! I know Kelsey, she's probably pretty close to done anyway.” 

You told Kelsey you were ready to go just as both Miller brothers had made their way back to you. She nodded in understanding, flashing a look at Jake and Joel. The taxi ride home was quiet and spent it with your head resting against the window. 

The day finally catching up to you and fuelling your exhaustion you couldn’t wait to curl up in your bed and sleep this feeling of uncertainty off. 

It didn’t take you long to get comfortable and fall asleep once you were home. You placed your cell on the nightstand next to you just in case Jake called needing you or Kelsey. The boys were notorious for getting themselves into trouble and you had made a habit of having a phone nearby. 

You had fallen asleep easily, but it didn’t last long as the cellphone rang next to you, pulling you from your sleep. 

“Hello?” You answered your phone through a sleep ridden fog. 

“Uh, hey darlin’, I didn’t mean t’ wake you,” a familiar voice came through the receiver of your cell. 

“Joel?” 

“Yeah,” he confirmed. 

“How’d you get my number?” You questioned, still confused, your voice laced with sleep. 

You looked over at your alarm clock, 1:54am. 

“And why are you calling me at two in the morning?” You continued. 

“I, uh, I asked Sarah for it after your gals night. Y’know? Just in case she uh- wanted to chat with you.” He only answered the first part. 

“Figures.” You laughed. 

“Is she there waiting to talk to me now? At two in the morning?” You questioned, still foggy from your early awakening. 

“No, no, uh shit.” He whispered, “This was all me.”

You hummed lightly. 

“You ran outta there tonight without even sayin’ goodbye. I was worried something happened to you,” He admitted. 

“Oh,” You said. Your heart rate grew quicker, not wanting to tell him the real reason you had left so abruptly. 

“Uh- no. It just wasn’t really my scene. Kelsey asked if I wanted to go home and I agreed.” 

“Well, I was sad to see you leave so soon. I definitely thought I would be getting another dance outta you, you know to real music,” 

You faked a gasp. 

“I’ll have you know, Mr. Miller, The Dixie Chicks are very much real music and you didn’t seem to mind it,” you laughed. 

“I was just putting on a show for you darlin’,” He mused. 

“Well Joel, if it means I can get going back to bed, I’ll own you a dance to real music next time,” you mocked.

You heard a soft sharp inhale through the phone. 

“I’ll hold you to it,” He said softly, the tone of the conversation felt like it had vastly changed. 

You couldn’t see Joel but you knew when intensity laced his tone, making the tension palpable in the air, this was one of those times. 

“Well, I ain’t gonna keep you. I just wanted to make sure you were alright,” 

“Thank you. I’m good, Joel. I, uh-“ you paused, “I had a lot of fun tonight. It was really nice to hang out.” You admitted. 

“Yeah uh- yeah. It was just like ol’ times,” There was a pause between you both for a moment. 

“Goodnight, old man,” 

“Alright, that wasn’t very nice of you darlin’,” Joel said, chuckling.

You laughed quietly along with him. 

“Night , Joel,” you said, yawning through the phone. 

“G’night beautiful. Don’t be a stranger, okay?” 

You hummed in response, ending the call and placing your cell phone back on the nightstand. 

It was nice to connect with Joel, but your brother's voice echoed in your head. 

I know your heart isn’t here. 

You tossed and turned, the moral dilemma causing your stomach to turn. You wanted to let Joel in, it felt so good to dance with him, watch him laugh. It was your own personal drug, you were addicted to the feeling of being close to him. Yet you knew you couldn’t betray him again. Jake was right, you were only capable of hurting one another. 

The part of you that wished Austin could be home forever was the part that pushed you away the first time. You were determined to leave in one piece this time. 

Can I handle the seasons of my life? Cause I’ve been afraid of changing.

tags: @thetriumphantpanda @fruit-frogs @harriedandharassed @skysmiller @beskarandblasters @wand-erer5 @missgurrl @casa-boiardi @undrthelights @wishyoudaskme @reader-without-a-story @morning-star-joy @cupofjoel @sinsofsummers @cavillscurls @tightjeansjavi @whichwitchwanda @dugiioh @readingfan @patti7dc @spidermanfrog

[mrsgreenworld]

Okay, I think what I initially planned as only a 2-chapter fic is going to be a three or maybe even four-parter. I also wanted to try and write this chapter from Yaman's POV.

I don't own the show or the characters, they all belong to the Yabani writers, producers and the production company. This is only fanfiction.

Time, Distance And Healing (Chapter 2)

Yaman pulls up at the main entrance to the house and kills the engine. He sneaks a glance at Alaz who's looking out of the car window thoughtfully.

"Home, sweet home" Alaz murmurs quietly.

"C'mon, let's get inside, everyone's waiting for you" Yaman says with all the enthusiasm he can master, even though he's panicking on the inside and has been in the state of paralyzing dread all their ride home.

He knows that his ever so perceptive little brother suspects something. That's why Yaman almost spilled his guts several times. He's torn between the desire to be honest and just wanting his little brother next to him. Even though they talked over the phone almost every day, they've barely seen each other over the last 5 years. Alaz came back only once, for the wedding. Yaman's visited him a few times in America, alone as well as with their siblings, and the last time a few months ago with Rüya. Those visits weren't nearly enough, leaving Yaman constantly missing his little brother. So finally having Alaz back home feels like a blessing but Yaman knows it won't last because all hell will break loose once Alaz learns the news.

Will Alaz stay once he learns the truth? Will he ever come back after that? Will he allow anyone to come to him? Will he talk to any of them ever again? Or will he consider keeping everything from him a betrayal? Yaman's so not looking forward to getting the answers to all these questions.

"Is she already here?" Alaz's voice pulls Yaman from the anxious whirlwind of his thoughts.

"Err ... Nope. Not yet. She'll come over a bit later".

Alaz just nods and climbs out of the car. Yaman follows him after drawing in a deep nervous breath. They walk to the front door and open it, only to be assaulted by loud pops of crackers and confetti raining on their heads and some flying right into their faces. Yaman's sure he's swallowed a few.

"Welcome home, Alaz!!!" their mother, sisters, Rüya and Feride Abla all scream together.

Then all of them take turns hugging Alaz. They talk over each other, shooting questions in rapid succession. But beneath the very real happiness of finally seeing Alaz, Yaman can also see everyone buzzing with the same nervous energy that he's feeling. Çağla and Ece are the worst really, both of them have panic and guilt written all over their faces. And of course Alaz catches on it immediately and just when he opens his mouth to say something about it, Yaman jumps in with:

"Alaz, güzel kardeşim benim, we forgot your bags, let's get them out of the car".

Alaz looks at him with suspicion but nods and they step out to get the bags. Yaman opens the trunk when he hears Alaz ask:

"Okay, Abisi, tell me: what's going on?"

Yaman knows it's a lost cause but he plays dumb nonetheless:

"What are you talking about? Nothing's going on".

Alaz just gives him the look.

"I swear nothing is going on".

"Really? First you were being all shifty on our ride home. Now everyone else is acting weird".

"They aren't acting weird, they're just happy to see you. They've missed you".

Yaman tosses the backpack at Alaz and then pulls out the suitcase, slamming the trunk shut.

Alaz follows Yaman's every move like a hawk and Yaman knows that his brother won't drop it. That's why he almost runs inside the house from Alaz's scrutinizing gaze. Everyone's waiting for them in the living room, exchanging nervous glances. Yaman mouthes a desperate: "Play cool!" and adds loudly for Alaz to hear:

"Kardeşim, let's get your luggage upstairs, to your room. Maybe you also want to change and get some rest after the long flight".

"I'm fine. You, - and I mean all of you - on the other hand, are up to something" Alaz says, pointing his signature finger at everyone.

"What?? No!"

"Pfff!"

"Don't be silly!"

"What do you mean? We're just happy you're home!"

Everyone's talking over each other again and playing so not cool that Yaman wants to facepalm. He pats Alaz's shoulder and says:

"C'mon, Alaz, let's go upstairs, I promise we'll talk but after you get some rest, take a shower, maybe unpack. Ok?"

Alaz narrows his eyes at him:

"I knew there's something!"

"Alaz, please, let's go. I'll tell you everything, we'll all talk together, just not right now".

"Is it about her? Is something wrong with her?” Alaz raises his voice and Yaman sees alarm in his brother's eyes.

He sees something else too: the beast that Alaz has spent the last 5 years taming and training - Yaman sees that beast pulling on its shackles.

"I swear to god, Yaman, if something ... Is Asi okay?"

It's the first time Alaz's said her name in 5 years. He's always asked about Asi but for some reason she's become the Voldemort whose name was never mentioned.

"She's okay. She'll be here soon and you'll see for yourself that she's totally fine" Yaman reassures Alaz and hears Çağla mutter:

"You won't believe how fine".

Yaman glares at his sister and focuses on Alaz again:

"She's fine, I promise. Now let's go upstairs, please".

Alaz throws a miffed look at everyone but gives a curt nod and reluctantly agrees:

"Fine! But you're all hiding something. Not for long though!"

He follows Yaman upstairs, to his old room. Yaman enters first, rolls Alaz's suitcase inside and leaves it beside the couch. He turns to Alaz who walks to the bed and drops the backpack. Yaman observes as his brother looks around the room and mutters:

"Nothing's changed. Everything's just the way I left it".

"We thought you'd like it that way. If you want to change something, it's better if you do it yourself".

Alaz just nods and then freezes. Yaman follows his gaze and sees that it's fixed on a picture on one of the bedside tables. The picture of Alaz himself ... with Asi. Yaman remembers the day the picture was taken like it was yesterday. It was him who made it. It was a rare moment of quiet and peaceful happiness that Yaman felt truly lucky to have captured. Because Alaz and Asi were never quiet or peaceful. They weren't really happy either and that was the saddest part. Because they loved each other but loving each other isn't always enough. And it broke Yaman's heart. Especially it broke for his little brother. Who couldn't be with the love of his life but also never learnt to be without her.

"Kardeşim?" Yaman says carefully.

"Hm?" is Alaz's only response, eyes still fixed on the photo.

"I love you. So very much. You know that, right? And I'm so proud of you".

The words finally catch Alaz's attention and he turns to Yaman with raised eyebrows.

"What's up with you, Abisi? Caught a love bug? Or trying to get on my good side so that you won't catch hell once I learn what you've all been hiding from me?"

Yaman lets out a short laugh at Alaz being well, Alaz.

"I've just missed you, that's all. And I feel like I don't tell you this enough".

Alaz narrows his eyes at him but Yaman sees the vulnerability beneath all the suspicion and sarcasm. Alaz's still not used to hearing people say that they love him. He's not used to people actually meaning it.

"Okay, whatever" he mutters and immediately adds:

"You wanted me to get some rest, unpack and change so badly. Why don't you leave me to it?"

Yaman nods quickly and makes a bee line for the door. Once the door closes behind him, Yaman exhales heavily:

"Oh my god, this is so not going to end well".

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 24 thoughts

here we are. the s3 finale. i am so excited!!! and after such a fantastic last episode, my expectations are high. also, having now seen 3 season finales, i have the sneaking suspicion that this one will also be a cliffhanger, which will get on my nerves a bit i’m sure as i get all my s3 stuff around before beginning s4, but again i extend my retroactive sympathies to the people who had to wait like a year to actually see what happened next back when it was airing. 

(author's note: since this one involved a lot of shape shifting, writing a play-by-play description of what was going on was quite tricky. just know i did my best and hopefully that is what matters <3)

this episode description makes it sounds like i’m gonna cry from some mulder family angst. i am preparing myself mentally. 

we shall begin.

we open at a food court sort of situation, which makes me once again mourn the fact that i missed the golden age of malls, as i would have devoured that. oh, it actually seems to just be a restaurant. well, my own wishful thinking, i suppose.

this man is very upset and making others uncomfortable with his loud yelling slash crying. so he pulls out a gun which makes people even more uncomfortable. he says the kids can leave but everyone else has to stay which seems like it will make things much worse for those kids?? but i digress.

a second man emerges from the back, asking the fellow with the gun to please not shoot. this second man is in a suit and tie, and has a very calming presence. to me, he shall be calming man. calming man talks him out of shooting, and i’m thinking yes!! what a save!!!

... until the gunman sees the police arrive, and then he DOES start shooting into the crowed. this is so sad to see happening. shooter has a bullet wound to the chest from the snipers outside sent to stop him, but calming man says he is not going to die, and heals him by placing his hand on him????

WOAH….. calming man….. you have powers…… get him in a hospital STAT, we need him to lay hands on a LOT of people... like a priest with a 100% success rate

mulder and scully are rolling up to the scene. scully is baffled because there is no one that needs medical attention, despite hearing that a bunch of people got shot!!

so she talks to one of the guys that was shot, and he only has a little hole in his shirt, which she simply lifts up and looks under. and i was laughing because she was in Doctor Mode but it is lowkey weird as hell to just lift some dude’s shirt up and analyze his tummy LMAO. oh she is so endearing to me. this man explains that even though he was shot, calming man touched him and said everything would be okay, and it was! that's suspicious. that's weird.

mulder is peeking his head into the car where the shooter is being held (typical mulder activities, peeking his head into places and whatnot) then he gets right in there with him. the shooter’s name is mr. muntz, and mulder wants to know what happened. mulder has some messy hair going on, but he is speaking very calmly and professionally... that oxford psych degree is showing!

mr. muntz says god spared his life, assuming that calming man must have been sent by god OR is god himself. which i suppose is a logical conclusion to draw.

somehow, calming man just DISAPPEARED from the scene. which is not what you want a guy to do in such a situation!!! unless, perhaps, he has fled to do some more miracle working, in which case i hope he teleports far and wide.

cutscene to rhode island. this lady is approaching a house, which is filled with plastic covering all of the furniture.

(author's note: i literally had no idea that "this lady" was mrs. mulder. and honestly given how much attention i pay to all the details- from the exact episode mulder mentioned jimi hendrix that one time to knowing scully did her residency in forensic medicine- i have no excuse for this. it is deeply humbling to realize the limits of my memory, which so often i think is close to fool-proof. i apologize to mrs. mulder but i, for some reason, thought she had brown hair. please accept my heartfelt apology, mrs. mulder. i have only seen you briefly before, which is a reason, but not an excuse for such a careless mistake)

she walks in, and sees a door is open to the outside. so she (author's note: mrs. mulder) follows along, and who does she see but CANCER MAN??? he remarks that everything changes but the sea. well the sea is constantly changing so take that, cancer man.

this woman (MRS. MULDER, god i'm cringing at my past self) wants to know what exactly he wants from her, and he says “we used to have so much to say to each other” ???? “SO MANY GOOD TIMES AT THE MULDERS’ SUMMER PLACE” HUH???

he makes a jab about how bill wasn’t as good at water skiing as he was, but that could be said about so many thing, couldn’t it? and WHERE DOES THIS DUDE GET OFF? 

(this is funny because cancer man lowkey sucks at his job and i won't let him forget that. like at the big UN council meeting everyone was pissed at him for losing the tape and trying to kill skinner and being generally just Fucking Bad at his work, so for him to say all this is quite comical)

the woman says she has repressed it all and i don’t blame her because i would also want to repress any moments with this man, but he says he came her to make her remember something. they’re fighting as a camera takes pictures. WHO IS TAKING PICTURES OF THIS?

okay, back to the virginia crime scene with our agents. calming man has given his name as “jeremiah smith”, but left a fake P.O. box and has no driver’s license. suspicious!!!!

mulder gets a call from skinner- one that “might cause him some alarm”. it’s his mother!!! she has been admitted to the hospital in rhode island, in serious condition!!! skinner stumbles on the pronunciation of the town she's in, but clearly it means something to mulder, because he knows where she is!! he says he is on his way

next thing we see is him bursting in into the room, with scully waiting behind him. something so lovely about scully coming along to be with him at such a terrible moment.

OMG IT’S HIS MOM….. why did i forget what his mom looked like?? am i actually the worst at this?? (<- the moment i Realized)

he grabs her hand and puts his hand on her forehead (i’m going to cry) and scully comes in and explains that she had a stroke. he notices that she is cold and puts another blanket over her (oh my gosh... such an attentive and caring son) and scully tries to reassure him not to think the worst, that people recover from these situations all of the time. i paused to write this down and he has this big sad eyes and i’m gonna CRY. he’s touching her hair and whispering “mom” and AUGHHHH. his only remaining family member...

apparently a 911 call came in… i guess that it was probably cancer man who called. and who probably did this somehow.

OH! she opens her eyes! he smiles at her and tells her everything is going to be okay. ohhh, sweet man...

scully realizes mrs. mulder wants something to write on, and busts out a pen and paper because she is always prepared!!!! and i love that about her!!!

so mrs. mulder writes on the paper “PALM”, which he looks at and repeats, but it’s not clear if he gets what that means or not. here i am thinking that it means some sort of treasure will be hidden beneath a palm tree

he’s watching her being taken away to another hospital as scully looks at some paperwork to figure out what exactly happened to her. and she uses her doctoral skills to tell him that they are optimistic on her recovery. it’s so sweet 😭😭😭 she does everything she can to ease his worries. i love her!!!!!!

but mulder thinks there is a correlation between what went down at the shooting in virginia and here- because she wrote the word “palm”, which is what calming man used to heal the victims of the gunman. and that seems like a stretch to me and to scully, but a grieving mind works in intricate ways, and we already know that mulder has the most intricate of minds, so maybe he's onto something.

he senses that it’s a bit of a leap, and she tries to very gently explain that it might not mean anything, that her brain has been radically changed. she says she is gonna drive him to the nearest motel (😭😭😭) and he says no, we’re going to DC and finding out who this calming man "jeremiah smith" is. omg buddy let her book you a motel and get some rest... but no, for he has entered his bloodhound mode, and there is no stopping him in such a situation

so now it’s 8:25 am the next day, and they are watching some tapes from the news footage while she sits on his desk. and sure enough, they find the guy on the newsreel- calming man jeremiah smith- and they even see that he vanished! it seems like someone else took his place, wearing the same clothes??? now how would that work….

mulder decides he must leave, and where to? “if i told you, you’d never let me go” <- okay well at least he’s sort of honest? scully reminds him he hasn’t slept in 24 hours, but he goes on anyway, telling her to give him a call if she finds anything on the tapes. a sigh from scully as she wonders what the hell he is up to.

now we’re at the social security administration, which is frankly pretty dystopian- so very aggressively white, with spaced out desks, giving extreme retro futurism in that special 90's kind of way. but here is the calming man at a desk, as tons of people in suits and with microphones come in! calming man jeremiah smith walks out the back door and is snagged… under the watchful eye of CANCER MAN??????

seriously, what does this dude even DO beyond be mysterious and nosy?!!!

so they put calming man jeremiah smith in a full body restraint and bring him into some sort of jail cell???? i just KNOW he was not read his rights, too...

mulder, meanwhile, has driven all the way BACK to rhode island, to the house covered in plastic. it is very quiet and dark. he makes his way outside, where we see someone watching him. it’s X!!!!!

X opens the door and tells mulder that cancer man was HERE WITH HER. IT WAS ON HIS ORDERS THE PHOTOS OF THEM FIGHTING WERE TAKEN!!! or maybe it was him hiding in the bushes snapping the pics?? that option is funnier to imagine, so i shall.

X is shocked that mulder didn’t know his mother and cancer man knew each other, but he very seriously says that he has no idea. and X clarifies that he didn’t hurt her, she collapsed AFTER he left- it was X that made the phone call to 911!

ah, that makes more sense than cancer man doing the calling, as i had suspected. although, clearly cancer man WANTS something from her, so maybe he would want to save her life. but then i had assumed he was the one who somehow made her have a stroke- but if he wanted something from her, nearly killing her would make that hard, right? unless he just comes close enough in killing her to scare her... hmm, i'm theorizing, and it feels like some sort of sick chess game.

OH! it seems cancer man wants something in this house. and mulder is surprised because on the day his parents divorced, she promised to never set foot here again. in the "SUMMER HOUSE"- yes, that was the wording he used. bro... how much money were they paying his dad to mess with aliens for them to live in martha’s vineyard AND have a summer house? 😭😭 that was blood money they were paying him fr and it must have been a hell of a paycheck. i have student loans, maybe i should get into the alien secrets business.

so whatever is here has to be important. but mulder tells X he has no idea what it is. xXseems to be hiding something, but maybe that is just his face.

back at the FBI, scully is heading out- or possibly heading back into work? as she does this, “jeremiah smith” arrives! she is very taken aback but jumps into work immediately. he says he is here to turn himself in, because it was claimed he fled a crime scene.

SO WAS THAT NOT HIM IN THE FULL BODY RESTRAINT?? or are we dealing with teleportation here? i mean we have healing already, teleportation isn’t much of a jump i suppose. 

(i was so damn confused lol)

now we are with calming man jeremiah smith in skinner’s office, where he claims that everything seemed like a dream from the moment he told the man to put his gun down forward. he claims he doesn’t remember anything, not even giving a false address. he only remembers showing up for work the next day. so... was his body like possessed or something?

he’s like “what did i do wrong :(“ and scully says he didn’t do anything wrong!!!!! skinner says that he can go, but to let them know if he leaves town. she shrugs her shoulders at skinner, not knowing what happened. scully is so kind...

back to rhode island, where mulder has a flashlight. the house is covered with children’s artwork and whimsical chickens. he’s looking through all of the stuff for anything of interest. it’s a fascinating walk through of how they must have lived, with her sewing kits tucked in drawers and toys in boxes. something about seeing their childhood makes my heart want to melt. poor kids, they had no idea what was to come...

he’s getting angry at not finding anything of use, tossing things around, before sitting on the now non-plastic covered couch, when he pulls her note out- and realizes that “palm” is an anagram for “lamp”! is this a clue??? must we inspect the lamps??? of which there are many???

yes, we must. he’s throwing this first one into the wall like link when he sees a pot that might have a rupee in it. but it doesn’t seem to have anything useful in the first one, so it becomes a lamp tossing session. and in the second one, he finds a metal tube thing!!! 

when he presses the side of the metal tube thing, a giant needle emerges!! is this one of those needles they used in s2 to vanquish the nearly indestructible aliens?? are there more in any other lamps??

now cancer man is back in the jail cell with the dude he took hostage that i thought was calming man jeremiah smith. well, whoever it is, he has jeremiah smith’s face. cancer man very dramatically sits in front of him and lights up. jeremiah says he isn’t ashamed of his actions, but cancer man says he isn’t “allowed to put your indulgences ahead of the greater purpose”. OH! so this must be a real life alien. that takes people’s shapes? i suppose?

YES! like that hit man did in the s2 arc that wound up with mulder nearly dead after the battle of that strange submarine!! whose blood induced the virus that led him to be soaked in an ice bath! i’m recalling!!

so, calming man jeremiah smith says he no longer believes in the "greater purpose", to which cancer man replies “then your fate is just”.

now hold on. what are you going to do to this man? there might be some intergalactic diplomatic repercussions for acting unwisely here, bucko.

they’re having a poetry off as they talk about duty and the terror of jeremiah smith giving the people hope. cancer man says men can never be free because they are “weak, corrupt, worthless, and restless”, some of my favorite adjectives . so he sees himself as this authority figure adjacent to god in this world in which man no longer believes.

well he's wrong on many accounts for 1. he is not god, just a guy who lowkey sucks at his alien job, and 2. scully is very much a believer of god and science, so take your stupid dichotomies and ego and smoke on THAT, cancer man

oh, but the tables are turning. “how many must die at your hand to preserve your stake in the project?” ooooh read him, calming man jeremiah smith!!! get him for me and again for missy.

cancer man seems deeply unsettled and tries to get out because calming man jeremiah smith is no longer calming man… HE HAS A NEW FACE?? IS THAT DEEP THROAT! he seems deeply scared… was cancer man scared of deep throat??? what was their power dynamic?!? oh, the things we will likely never know...

i have missed seeing deep throat around. but cancer man basically says that this alien’s execution date is coming. damn. they kill you for saving others. we really live in a society...

back to mulder, who is barging into skinner’s office. he tells his secretary to hold his calls, and it is appearing evident that he has not slept in a long time. he walks right into a meeting between skinner and scully, and says he wants his name and everything about "him"! which "him", you ask? you know the one!

“i want the smoking man smoked out; i want him exposed to be the murdering son of a bitch that he is” he says, and YAAAAS i have been wanting to say these lines for 3 seasons now!!!

skinner is not pleased with this, and reveals that he doesn’t even KNOW his name, nor how he can find it, and they are yelllling. mulder says to scully that cancer man is trying to kill calming man jeremiah smith, but she says that he had JUST been there, and he works for the social security administration, which sets mulder off on another quest. in which she joins!!

(skinner says something really interesting here- that there might have been a time when he could have been able to find out cancer man's identity, but that time has since passed. very interesting, i'd love to know what that means...)

off to the faraway and magical land of the social security administration, where mulder apprehends jeremiah smith. he looks to scully asking what is going on, and she also has no answers. 

so they get to the FBI and he starts to bolt!!! he falls down and comes up… with a new face?!! and then he disappears into the crowd!!! 

SO WHAT IS GOING ON??? are there TWO ALIENS?? are they TELEPORTING?? are they shapeshifting?? HUH??

cancer man goes back to the individual i shall now refer to as the “jail cell alien” because he no longer bears the face of calming man. damn, this is really confusing to write out, and very much tied to visual media as a storytelling vessel. i hope that you are familiar with what i’m talking about so you have any idea what i’m even saying, because i realize it sounds deeply incomprehensible.

alien asks why cancer man is so afraid of him, and claims that he knows everything about him. OH! “you think you’re god- you’re a drone, a cataloguer, chattel”, says cancer man, to which he is met with the reply “what you’re afraid of is they’ll believe i am god”

HEY WHAT! so what exactly is this dude’s job description?? like, either of them.

they’re talking about god and belief and fear and rule- “they don’t believe in Him, but they still fear Him” <- ooooh banger line on part of the cancer man.

(it seems that there is probably some very intentional real-world commentary on the illusion of freedom under democracy, the nature of the surveillance state, and how people are satiated under capitalism with all this talk to appeasement and there not being a god, but i’m not trying to crack that right now. i’m trying to figure out what this alien dude does beyond heal people and be cryptic. he says that humans have love, which makes them “better than us- better than you” SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? can he feel no love?)

they’re referring to some sort of process, and how cancer man wants to be involved when it begins, which i’m guessing is referring to some sort of alien-human joint conquest or hybridization or something?

GASP! alien changes his face again and proclaims that cancer man is… DYING OF LUNG CANCER!

fork spotted in kitchen. however, cancer man is sincerely gagged and doesn’t believe it. the absolute buffoonery going on…

now the alien from before that had escaped from the clutches of our agents has shape shifter again?? into the hit man we saw in s2! with the special alien killing needle!

so my memory is foggy… these aliens that the hit men are hunting are dissenters from the overall alien regime, right? they’re not different species of alien entirely? 

but then what/who are the little grey ones…. are we witnessing intergalactic warfare here…?

(i gotta be so honest, i come here for the lingering tension between mulder and scully, so i’m a little fuzzy on how the actual alien stuff works)

anyway, the cronies of cancer man are bringing the hit man and his lethal needle into the cell where they’re holding the alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith, but… he isn’t in there!!!!! where did he go!!?!

so we have two aliens, both shapeshifters, taking the same face at times, one trying to kill the other. also cancer man is here and mulder’s mom is in the hospital, and for some reason she had one of those needles in her house. okay, i’ve got it.

back to the hospital- his mom isn’t getting better, and he is struggling to hear that, pulling a chair next to her while his eyes fill with tears. he’s crying as he holds her hand to his cheek. poor mulder :( losing all of his family :( it’s so sad honestly to see him cry :(

he leaves the room, attempts to compose himself, and sees cancer man in the hall!!!! uh oh! so mulder GRABS him, throws him against the wall, and pulls out his gun, saying “you gonna smoke that, or you want to smoke on this?” <- WHEW!!!!!!! he was not playing around before but now he is a NEW level of locked in… but careful… if you kill him, what he knows goes with him….

he even offers to give him brain damage but not kill him, so he can suffer like his mother does (DAMN!), which prompts the reveal that cancer man has known his mother since before he was born. he thinks about this and decides that he does NOT give a fuck.

he claims that SHE contacted HIM, (which isn’t what happened because we SAW what happened at the start of the episode?? he wanted her to remember something??) and also that he has possible information on his sister’s location. how many people are going to use this line on our guy...?

mulder puts the gun down as a nurse walks in, pivoting to asking where his sister is- but the man who might have that information has disappeared, according to cancer man. so he must be referring to the alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith.

mulder keeps saying that he has what he wants, presumably referring to the lethal needles, but cancer man denies wanting anything except to see how his mother is doing. he furiously puts his gun away. 

back to scully cam!!! it’s late at night, but she is still at work, and she has her glasses on because she’s on the computer <3 she seems… puzzled. for the social security administration has records on SIX different jeremiah smiths, all from different locations, but with the SAME FACE!!! this is weird enough to prompt a call to mulder, who has no service, but is very angry in an empty parking lot. 

X emerges into the parking lot- he is always emerging from places- and asks if he has “it”. he demands mulder give it to him, but he refuses. 

mulder (correctly) points out that it is a weapon used to pierce the back of an alien's neck, which is the only way we can kill “them”. and X says it’s value will soar when the truth is revealed, so i’m wondering if we can get a rough time frame on when that will be so i can get my things in order before then. X says they will kill him for it, even if it risks making him a martyr and his research coming to light. oh, they must want it really bad... maybe it's a special kind of needle you just can't get on earth.

mulder says to X, so you’re talking about colonization, and you have a date, don’t you? but he refuses to give the weapon over. prompting a battle! they seem pretty evenly matched, and they both pull their guns out. 

“if you shoot me, you’ll never find it” “i ought to shoot you anyway, after everything i’ve given you” says X, and WELL! X, you didn’t really do all that distribution of clues to mulder out of the goodness of your heart, did you… you’re leading him on a little quest on cancer man’s order’s, aren’t you???? I THINK YOU ARE!! but i don’t KNOW, because why then would he SNITCH on cancer man with those photos??!!!!

(not super clear on why exactly mulder wants to keep this thing other than keeping it out of the hands of evil, but maybe that is enough of a reason for him)

so they both have guns pointed at each other, and they’re limping away, and X announces that mulder is a dead man one way or the other. ????!!!!! i do not want him to be a dead man...

scully comes home to her place at 1 am… but someone is at the door. someone claiming to be jeremiah smith!!!! chat... do we believe it? and how did he even find where she lives...

he asks to be let in… and she is gonna let him in…? with only 3 minutes left in the episode….?! seems a risky move!

he says he has information on her partner and his sister. and scully says, well why didn’t you bring that up before!!! a very valid question! but get this- it's because he’s never SPOKEN to her before- that other man was an imposter, sent there to kill him!!!

OOOOH okay. so now the dual shape shifting aliens thing makes sense. one sent to hunt the other for breaking the rules... got it.

her phone is ringing as this goes down. it’s mulder, saying that “they” are looking for jeremiah smith, and to meet up off the I-95. so it’s very dark and creepy as they go to the rendez vous point.

mulder makes scully get behind him, getting between her and the alien formerly known as jeremiah smith (🩷) as he pulls out the alien killing needle. and this guy claims to be the OG calming man that healed those people, but that’s not really enough evidence for a guy like mulder. despite mulder's suspicious, the alien keeps saying he can explain everything. but first, mulder orders that he must come to see his mother.

OMG! so he wants to use the alien's powers to heal his mother! do you think it could work? i mean, a stroke and a bullet are different kinds of hurt... but maybe he could pull it off?

OH NO!!! who rolls up to this dark and creepy scene, but the hit man!!! a loud crescendo of music is playing and we get a TO BE CONTINUED

DAMN YOU, CHRIS CARTER!

i mean, i knew a cliffhanger ending was coming, but STILL.

okay, so what am i thinking about this episode… i am thinking that i don’t really know what is going on or where the loyalties lie. but it seems that alien colonization is eminent? and where does X fall on all of this? i assume he wanted the needle killer tool so HE could kill the REAL alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith, like cancer man wanted, for rebelling against their alien treaty and healing someone. but if that is what he wanted it for, and he is aligned with cancer man, why did he go behind his back to do the snooping on him with mulder’s mom?? was he trying to get mulder as an ally to do cancer man’s bidding through sneaky tricks??? or was he going to keep the needle out of cancer man's hands, and felt he could do it better than mulder could, so that by asking him to give up the needle, he would be saving mulder's life and risking his own? does he actually give a damn about mulder? also, how many different kinds of aliens are there??? and are they all lying about samantha?

so huh. umm. that was a lot of questions and not a lot of answers.

as interesting as this episode was plot-wise, and as much as i love angst, and how it pains me to see mulder mourn the potential loss of his mother, something in this episode just didn’t quite compel me. and then i realized: not enough scully. a criminal mistake, imo. takes what could be an amazing episode into an inherently mediocre one. 

but, what we did see of her was her kindness, using her doctorly knowledge to try and lift mulder’s spirits, risking a lot of danger to try and get the answers for him, even if it means getting involved with alien bullshit. maybe she thinks it’ll bring her answers about her sister and her own abduction… yes, that has to be it. still, a grave sin to omit her. it just feels fundamentally Off.

so, that was the end of s3! well, as i have done twice before now, i’ll make my season wrap up posts before i get onto s4- even if it does end with a cliffhanger that is honestly SO rude. i’ll have to go over all my notes again to find the best moments and compile them, which is always a task (even if it is a major treat). and i have a feeling there will be a LOT of favorite moments this time around. plus i'll update the masterpost.

thank you to everyone who read this far, and reads this blog at all. i can't believe i am on season 4! it really makes my day to see people's reactions to the episode, learn fun facts, and experience the community in this fandom that i am otherwise denied by my persistence in avoiding spoilers. please feel free to go back and interact with old posts, too- it makes me so happy when i get notifications from that.

until next time, you agents in a dangerous back alley with some skirmishing aliens!

[bearsinpotatosacks]

I've got to share a star trek idea, call it an idea for AOS 4.

We open on the crew nearing the end of the five year mission. Jaylah’s on the crew, having finished the Academy in record time (Chekov’s still here because this is a fanfic idea not an actual movie).

Uhura goes to Bones after getting dizzy after falling off her chair during a bit of turbulence during a mission. She goes over her symptoms, talking about her feeling sick and exhausted, getting dizzy and weird cravings. He asks her when she last had her period, she says she can’t remember but thinks it's due to stress. It only clicks what he’s on about Spock going through Pon Farr, and how the precautions they used weren't made with a Vulcan (who can't return to Vulcan no less) going through his first Pon Farr in mind. They do some tests and oops, she’s pregnant.

They keep it a secret, she’s going to keep it but she’s not sure how Spock'll take it with his strange relationship with his species now they're endangered and all. To hide the check ups, they start a ballroom/latin dancing club, they're both pretty proficient. Bones even gets to jokingly flirt with Uhura to annoy Spock.

Spock starts to suspect something, he's about to make a logical investigation when they beam down to a planet for a Prime Directive mission and forget everything.

Jim wakes up remembering who he is, in a house he doesn't own, late for a job he doesn't have. Technology is ancient, like something from a noir film. And he can't find his friends anywhere.

He goes about his life and finds out he's an English professor, Chekov is one of his students but he doesn't know him as Captain Kirk, just his pushy but nice professor. When he goes to remind him, he doesn’t know what he’s on about and walks away.

Jim’s car breaks down, he calls a number and Scotty arrives, a mechanic in debt to a local gang who helps him out. It's only in talking to him that he mistakenly wakes Scotty up from his dream and realises who he is. They realise that they've got to wake everyone up to help them get out.

We cut to Bones, who's an ER doc helping another person after they've been beaten up. Whenever someone asks questions, one Hikaru Sulu comes in, slips money in their pocket, and the questions go away. But not Bones. He’s the only person in this damn hospital you can't buy off, but knows this is known, as he's never allowed on these cases, where people come in battered and bruised and they're too scared to say who did it. The closest he's come is with some scottish mechanic, but even he hadn’t said much apart from a debt being owed.

He sighs, signing out, and goes home, another day of not helping as much as he would want, another day of fighting off the growing corruption in this city. Little does he know, that Scottish Mechanic is sitting nearby, watching him leave and following him home with James T Kirk by his side. They’ve found Dr McCoy and now need to wake him up.

They follow him home, see him go inside and get changed into a freshly pressed suit and walk into town, entering a dark club. They follow him and see how he’s treated like the owner, they take his coat, give him a cigar and light it, his drink is already poured by, wait is that Chekov at the bar?

And who is the singer in this bar? Uhura. She crunes a smooth song (i imagine smooth operator by sade) as he sits, smoking in the darkness and watching her every move. When the song's over, she invites him to dance before she sneaks him backstage. Jim thinks of Spock’s suspicions before shaking them off and sending Scotty to try and work on Chekov, succeeding.

Backstage, Bones helps Uhura, who'd pregnant with the owner of the club's baby. One Mister Spock, who owns most of the town, and has everyone in his pocket. Well, almost everyone, she thinks, looking at Dr McCoy as he gives her more iron tablets and tells her to rest.

They talk about how she’s going to get out. There's only so long she can hide this, there's only so much she can throw Spock off the scent with how much Bones questions the people sent into his ER after Spock orders his men to beat them up.

She talks about trying to run but there being nowhere she can go that he won't follow. She wants her career to go further but knows if she stays in the country, she'll be found.

He tells her that he'll keep trying and leaves, just in time too, as Spock walks in, confidence and cold, cool logic oozing off him.

The plot is a little thinner from here. I know we cut to Jaylah, in someone's office, she’s their every woman, their gun for hire, she's the person Spock sends when things get too dark or difficult for his usual men. In this case, he needs her to get Dr McCoy on his side, be that through violence or sex or blackmail, he doesn’t care, he's become a nuisance and needs stifling.

Jim tries to wake Sulu up but gets beaten up, ending up in Bones' care, who he also fails to wake up. Bones sees to Uhura again, but gets distracted when Jaylah talks to him, they get along, he buys into it and ends up going home with him. They start something, she gets him in bed before threatening him, blackmailing him and bringing up his dead wife and daughter, before getting him to swear that he'll leave Uhura alone and get his nose out of Spock’s business.

Jim meets Jaylah outside and, with Scotty’s help, manages to wake her up. They get her on side and get her to play her role and get to Uhura.

When Bones doesn’t show up for the next few days, Uhura knows Spock’s got to him too. Jaylah walks in, Uhura threatens her but Jaylah, under pressure, lies and, after trying to wake her up and failing, offers to help her get out for a price, saying she's gotten tired of it all.

They make a plan, Uhura will meet Jaylah at the docks, Bones will meet them and they'll go together, all three.

Jim realises they’re running out of time, Spock finds out about the plan. Jaylah fights Sulu and manages to wake him up, Jim gsts through to Bones by mentioning how Joanna and Jocelyn are live. But Spock gets to Uhura first, it's only when she tells him she's pregnant that they both wake up and it all stops.

I think there's also some other element to it, maybe if they don't get off the planet in a week or something then they all get trapped there with their fictional memories?

[rigginsstreet]

idk if i have a full plot/fic to create around it cuz in my head its kinda just vibes but i keep thinking specifically about a scenario in which steve and nancy are married, each successful in their own right and on paper have a successful marriage to everyone on the outside. but the truth is theyve grown apart, and part of that is because steve has been sleeping with billy for a while. even bought a lake house just for their secret rendezvous.

and nancy stumbles upon that information one day - had her suspicions that steve was sneaking around on her so she did some snooping, found out he bought a whole house she never knew about. decides to drive out to it to see what else she can learn.

never in her wildest dreams did she expect to see someone actually living there. she and billy come face to face. and theres no point in billy lying. hes walking around the place like he owns it, his shits everywhere, theres pictures in frames of him and steve being way too cozy.

and nancy should probably be screaming and yelling and throwing him out but she's kind of not mad? or, well, she's mad about being lied to. mad that steve created this whole other life under her nose, but. she's kind of relieved too? its a weird conversation with billy. she asks her questions about their relationship and billy answers them honestly and at the end of it nancy just... leaves

goes back home and waits for steve, half a bottle of wine down. she doesn't want to think about how it reminds her of her mother.

she confronts steve about the affair and it escalates into a fight, and steve tells her shes not so innocent either. he sees the way she's been looking at jonathan. theyre not "just coworkers", steves not dumb, give him a little credit

and nancy cant argue against him because... she and jonathan have kissed. once. and she felt so guilty about it because it made her feel more alive than she's felt with steve in years, and what are they doing? keeping up this charade? their marriage is a farce, who are they keeping it alive for? their parents? their friends? so random people wont judge them?

so they agree to call it quits. steve says nancy can have the house until they figure out what to do with it, he'll find somewhere else to crash.

and nancy knows its just him being polite, not saying the obvious, rubbing salt in the wounds. he's going to that lake house, with billy. and she hopes he's happy, she does

and she calls up jonathan, because they deserve to be happy too

[alpineshift]

Oooh please may I have number 16 where Nico is a secret witch/fae/etc

Presenting to you: forest witch!Nico with earth magic who can turn into a big fluffy Norwegian forest cat. (+cozy autumn town vibes)

16. “You won’t believe me.”  “Try me.” 

When he opens his front door and sees Jack standing on his porch, Nico immediately tries to slam it shut, which - first of all, rude, and second of all, just confirms the sneaking suspicion Jack's had that his boyfriend is avoiding him.

Rude. So of course Jack wedges his foot in the doorway and elbows his way in; not that Nico has ever really managed to shut him out--he's always soft on Jack, so sweet to him, a fact that Jack would normally feel bad about but right now this is a crisis of their relationship, damn it.

"You're avoiding me," Jack says, taking the bat to the hornet's nest without hesitation. "You're avoiding me, we need to talk about that night in the campground, and we are going to do it right here, right now, or so help me god you won't know another day of peace."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Nico says, like a lying liar. His tell is how he always runs his hands through his hair and then scrunches his nose. Which he does, in perfect expected order. And Jack pounces.

"Something was there that night we went camping. Something was there, it was watching us, and I know this for a fuckin' fact."

"It was dark that night, Jack, rain was everywhere and the storm was crazy, and that was it. There was nothing weird happening--"

"So you're telling me some lightning flashes and there's loud thunder and I simply imagined something grabbing my ankle and dragging me into the bush? All those scratches on my arm are fake? The handprint on my leg? Get real, Neeks."

"I'm saying the chances of you tripping and falling down are more likely than you getting pulled--"

He's grabbing the front of Nico's sweater and shoving him up against the wall before he could rethink it; Nico's eyes go wide, and Jack's so close he can literally feel every motion of Nico's stuttered breathing. "Fine. Sure. Let's say you're right about that. But I know that I saw a monster. I saw all three rows of its teeth and I felt its claws around my neck and I could smell the rot in its breath, and just when I thought was fucked for sure, I saw you."

"You didn't," Nico pleads, fingers curling into Jack's arms.

"I did. I saw you, I saw the trees move and the vines rip that thing away and before I fell and blacked out like some loser I saw you take a knife to that thing, Nico. I know you saved my life, and I need to understand how."

He hates the way Nico just sags in defeat, his weight slumped against Jack's front, and how small his voice is when he whispers, "You won't believe me."

"Try me," Jack replies, curling his arms around Nico in a hug. He rests his cheek against Nico's, trying to will his boyfriend to understand he isn't angry, just. Scared. And lost. "Baby, please, just--tell me what happened, and tell me what's wrong."

It's still a shock, even after all the certainty he'd felt after that night in the campground, to hear the unexpected rustling of the leaves outside, the deep howl of the wind as it picks up, to see the sky darken as clouds roll in and all the plants inside Nico's house shake and tremble under some unknown command. And it's an even bigger shock to see the way Nico's eyes glow gold, like the depths of a furnace, to feel the heat of magic radiating off his body.

But Jack's seen those eyes before--that night Nico crashed through the forest after him, ripped the monster away with a bellow of don't you dare touch him and then cradled Jack in his arms on the ground, shielding him from the storm with his whole body, before Jack blacked out.

Nico's beautiful like this. And Jack delights in the sheer shock and relief that fills those golden eyes when he says it.

send me a jacknico prompt!

[gudvina]

the moments hayffie realized they were in love with each other

Of strawberry tarts and digging nails

Ship: Effie Trinket/Haymitch Abernathy

Fandom: Hunger Games

Serie: of Wildflowers and Ivies.

Can also be read on AO3! <3

67th Hunger Games, part one.

She didn’t enjoy having to walk around District Twelve. She felt out of place, she stood out too much with her colourful clothes and her wigs, and people stared a lot. Of course, it was very impolite, but she didn’t have time to lecture strangers. She’d searched for Haymitch everywhere, in the house, around the village, and she still couldn’t find him.

The reaping was in 5 hours, and the man was nowhere to be found.

It wasn’t until she reached something that looked like an abandoned warehouse, bustling with people and merchant stands, that she saw him. He was sitting on a chair, eating what looked like soup from a bowl. It wasn’t her ideal place, but she was there, and he’d been rude not to wait at home.

She entered, making her way through the crowd, never losing sight of him. When she got to him, she waited for him to look up and acknowledge her, tapping her shoe on the tinned floor, but he clearly hadn’t expected her to be there and it took him a moment.

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Had she been anywhere else, she would have laughed. Instead, she just chuckled.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well, Haymitch, not only did you break Hosting Rules by going out when you knew you’d have a guest to wait for, now you also greet me in the worst way possible!”

“You shouldn’t be here”.

“Oh, I think here is exactly where I should be. That’s where you are”. It was obvious, wasn’t it? She looked closer at him and realized he was looking around, as if to check if anyone was looking at them. And of course they were, she was the only one dressed decently in that place!

The old woman behind the stand, who she suspected cooked the weird soup he was eating, was certainly looking.

Her face fell when a sneaking suspicion rose inside her. Was he ashamed? It wasn’t like no one knew that they worked together, it was her job to prepare everything in occasion of the Reaping, so she hadn’t thought much of searching for him. But he looked concerned and now she felt humiliated.

He was ashamed of her. She was okay behind close doors, a fun distraction maybe, but outside… She was aware they were nothing, that to him she wasn’t nothing more than the escort he slept around with, but seeing the signs hurt.

To avoid making it worse she wore her escort smile brighter.

“Alright, you finish your soup and I’ll wait for you at the Village. Later!” she quipped a little too enthusiastically and turned around, retracing her steps. She left the weird marketplace- or whatever it was- and strutted back to the Victors’ Village, trying to be quick on her heels.

When she passed the Gates she sat down on the fountain at the centre of the Village, trying to look at the at the rippling water. Trying, because it was blurry due to the tears she refused to shed.

It was in that moment that she couldn’t ignore the truth. She’d known it all along, but now she felt it even more. She loved him. She loved who he was, his fine points and his flaws. And she’d been so stupid because she was never supposed to fall in love with him, and now she was reaping the results of her naivety. She heard steps behind her, so she proceeded to blink her tears away, breathing deeply.

“You shouldn’t have gone there”.

She turned and glared at him, charged with anger. Who did he think he was?

“Why? Do I look so ridiculous that it’s so bad to be seen with me?”

“Well, you do look ridiculous with those… dots? on your cheeks, but it’s not that” he said, and his voice was so even that it irritated her more. What was his reason, then?

“What, then? Is there a future Mrs Abernathy I don’t know about? Because if there is you can just forget ever touching me again!”.

When she was done speaking, she had expected him to leave her with her anger, maybe throwing a cutting remark to end the conversation. But he simply laughed. A roaring, exhilarating laugh, a real one. And it was for her. All for her, not because of a joke from Chaff, not because of someone’s lopsided wig or odd dress. Because of her.

She couldn’t help laughing as well, joining him despite her previous anger. She loved him so much.

“You really think that is a problem? You shouldn’t go around the District without Peacekeepers with you. It could be dangerous and then it’d be my job to kick someone’s ass. Don’t make me do it. Now let’s get inside, I bought a strawberry tart from the bakery. Because ‘hosting rules’ or whatever”.

“Well, it’d be only polite, given how badly I was received. A guest should never have to wait for the host!”

“Whatever let’s go” he said, offering his arm which she took gladly.

He smelled of alcohol, his house was a mess, and she knew she would end up nagging him to put on decent clothes, but for now it didn’t matter. She’d seen him laugh and he’d bought her a tart. Maybe daylight wasn’t made for them, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy the little things.

67th Hunger Games, part two.

Dawn came fast, casting a dimmed purple light in the bedroom. Their bodies were tangled together, covered only by a flimsy white sheet, as they swayed and rocked back and forth. It was slow, lazy. They had been in bed for hours at this point. They started in the early hours of the night, alternating drowsy rest with sex.

That year their tributes died in the bloodbath, and since their stylists were often busy with whatever meeting, they had almost the whole day to themselves. He’d spent the evening with Chaff, drinking at the sponsors’ lunge, and when he came back, he made a beeline for her room. He had his way with her like she always allowed him, especially after losing the tributes so early.

It had begun with rough handling and earthquaking orgasms, but gradually turned softer. He lied to himself, saying it was just the fatigue taking over, but that was all it was: a lie. Being inside her was becoming an addiction. He couldn’t get enough, couldn’t stop himself even if he wanted to.

“Effie” he groaned, sinking into her again.

“I can’t” she held him closer to her, her limbs shaking.

“You can take it”.

She whimpered and let her nails dig on his shoulder blade, as her body’s movements became more erratic. He could feel her walls tightening around him, and her legs shaking.

What perplexed him was that it wasn’t that different from anything they’d ever done, he knew her body so well by now that it should have made it boring. Or at least so he thought. Four years. A four years long affair that had started after her tumultuous start as an escort, one he’d made frustrating and vexing.

He was used to Lavinia’s ways. To be left alone unless strictly necessary, especially when it came to his drinking, but Effie was different. She was bubbly, determined, and, even though he’d tried his best to discourage her, she was unbeatable. Nothing deterred her unless it was truly impossible.

And even then, he wasn’t quite sure flying was impossible for her, if she put her mind to it.

Irritation had turned into a sexual tension so thick one could cut it, and after much fighting they both caved in. They’d told each other it was a mistake, but then it happened again. And again, gradually becoming a thing. If it was a mistake, they seemed keen to their errant ways.

He wasn’t stupid. He knew that what they were doing was dangerous, if not outright stupid, that it shouldn’t be anything more than it was, but he felt… something. Want, a feeling he’d never felt so strongly. And what did he want? More. More of her, everything that made this hellish woman what she was.

Looking into her blue eyes, that were hazy with pleasure, he tried to keep eye contact as he slid deeper inside her. He saw her lips part and her face contract slightly, her nails now digging on his waist. His hand travelled down to her core, and it took only a little teasing to have her come undone with a squeal that she tried to muffle with her hand.

Then he also reached his peak, coming inside her with a grunt. Her grip on him was softer now, and she soothed his body with gentle caresses. In the wee hours of the day, their bodies still trembling with the aftermath of their union, he realized.

It was the reason he didn’t want her to get the promotion, the reason he glared at Finnick every time he suggested switching escorts, the reason he’d felt relieved when her relationship with Crane ended. The reason his heart leapt when she smiled. The reason he was distressed when she was, even if he didn’t want her to see it.

He couldn’t bring himself to admit it, but it was there. It was that feeling that meant death, it was that feeling that could put her in danger. And yet she held him so tightly, kissed him so sweetly. As if he wasn’t cursed, as if touching him was the most natural thing in the world, and not something that could be very well fatal. Like she wasn’t afraid.

When he drew back to look at her, he saw something in her eyes. It laid there, unspoken, the proof of her own feelings. She stroked his jaw and he let her, transfixed by the simplicity with which she bore what she felt.

They were both fucked. This was the moment he should have gotten up, taken his clothes and ran away from there, but he knew it wasn’t going to last. He would end up between her legs the next morning, his body acting on his feelings despite common sense.

So he just kissed her, claiming her lips with a kiss more gentle than they could afford. There was nothing left to do.

[mickittotheman]

I just read the snippet of your fic from an ask from iansw0rld and I'm just ‼️‼️‼️‼️ about it literally can't form coherent words but I'm obsessed already and I'm very excited to read it! 🖤🖤🖤

GAH omg thank you!!! Here's another snippet. As a little treat. It takes place immediately after the prev one:

______

“What is with you and the fucking sprite?” Mickey grouses the next day. He’s having a bit of trouble looking Ian in the eye, but he’s sure Ian will lure him back into a relaxed state soon enough, his weird fucking alien powers doing whatever the fuck it is they do.

“You got something against sprite, Milkovich? ‘Cause we can’t still be friends if you do.”

Who the fuck ever said anything about fucking friendship? 

Mickey bites his tongue, sure that if he says anything about it Ian will make some stupid quip like, ‘oh? what do you want us to be then?’ and Mickey will have to grit out some answer like ‘strangers’ or ‘mortal fucking enemies’ while fighting a losing battle to keep his cheeks from going pink.

Yeah. Probably way smarter to just let Ian keep thinking they’re friends, no matter how fucking faggy that is.

“This is a fucking bar, man. You ever gonna order a real drink?”

“I’m good,” Ian chirps, slurping obnoxiously at the glass Mickey hands over. “Soda tastes better than alcohol. I’m not 21 yet, anyways. Not for another few months.” 

“Jesus, you aren’t supposed to fucking tell me that.” 

Ian grins at him. “Oh yeah? What ‘m I supposed to do, then?” 

“You’re supposed to show me a fake ID like a normal fucking person. Or just not fucking say shit in the first place, considering we don’t even fucking card people.” 

Ian splays one of his big ass hands over his chest. Drops his jaw in shock. “Mickey. Surely you aren’t encouraging me to break the law.”

Mickey snorts, a smile breaking out on his face despite his best efforts. Ian’s eyes go wide, delighted, his grin the most blinding one yet. Mickey scurries away to refill the glass of some girl who didn’t even fucking ask for one.

“Hey, I didn’t–”

“Yeah, I fucking know. On the house.”

The girl frowns at his language, then perks ups at the concept of a free refill, then frowns again. “You aren’t, like, trying to hit on me are you? Because you are so not my type.”

Mickey directs his eyes heavenwards. The shit he has to put up with in this fucking hellhole.

Ian finally leaves just before ten, just like he always does. He smiles, just like always. And, just like always, his last smile of the night is soft and sleepy in a way that makes Mickey want to punch him. “See ya tomorrow, Mick.”

“No you won't,” Mickey says, snatching the five dollar bill Ian’s holding out. He knows by now to be careful not to let their skin brush as he does it. “Work the opening shift tomorrow, with any luck I’ll be gone before you roll in. And I’m off Sundays.”

Ian frowns for a minute before brushing it off, his grin cropping up again. “No problem,” he chirps. “I’ll come by on Monday, then. My wallet and glucose levels could use a rest from all the drinks, anyways.”

And yeah, okay, Mickey’s had this sneaking suspicion that the guy has mostly just been coming to hang out with Mickey for some insane fucking reason. But for the guy to just straight up fucking confirm it like that? Just put it out there in the open, no holds barred?

It’s fucking unsettling, is what it is. Guy definitely has a screw loose. What is it with EMTs and their weird ass obsessions with making Mickey’s life a living hell.

He spends the last twenty minutes of his shift all fucking jittery and shit. Thank fuck he doesn’t have to deal with this shit again until Monday.

+++