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#and i still have 80 wishes
byorkewkew · 8 months
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I'll draw poodle Navia later
+ sphere snek neuvi and his melusine daughters (i need to check if i have photos of all of them from the side bc of their tail shape 🤧🤧
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I wish I could be agender the way Murderbot is agender. Right down to the lack of biological sexual characteristics. So agender that the term agender comes with too much associated gender to accurately apply. You know what I mean?
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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.
#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz#ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and#then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific#cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or#etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as#you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on#accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have#as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence#of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate#versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a#neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest#ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling#and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for#documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like#sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I#can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If#I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my#ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be#accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor#focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it#were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan#that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is#some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my#kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means#i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m#in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in#one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability#& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER
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hjbender · 6 months
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I just finished watching Vampire Hunter D (1985). The last time I'd seen it was back in high school, circa 1998, on a twice-copied VHS passed around by all five of us Japanimation fans in the entire school, and I think it was edited for TV because I don't remember the titty flashes or super gore like I saw in this version, and I swear the English dub has been updated because the dialogue that was burned into my 15-year-old brain still remains, and it was definitely not what I just watched.
It was still super nostalgic, though. That theme song hit me hard.
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tart-miano · 2 years
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listen i don’t understand it just as much as you do, but the care bears franchise has been consuming my waking moments lately and i just spent a week redesigning them as humans for no monetary profit. also was rly bummed to find out the parents of the care bears weren’t canonically lesbians.....but i dID IT ANYWAY
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nailtagyuri · 8 months
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when i was 12 this was the coolest most mindblowing shit ever i was genuinely so obsessed with it I'd read it very day like the bible. I would die for a version of this with the post 3D world content over my country
#i hve vs super mario bros on my switch bc i wanted to chronologically play through the storied hero timeline and i couldnt find a rom#I think it has the same appeal as spid.erverse kinda except instead of multiple different people filling the same role as sp.iderman its#the same guy it's still mario but the changes come from things going differently at certain points in his life do you GET ME!!#LIKE!!!!!!!! MOST OF IT'S DETERMINED BY WHAT HAPPENS IN YOSHIS ISLAND AND THERES ALTERNATIVE PATHS IF HE WINS OR FAILS!!! GAME OVERS HAVE#CONSEQUENCES THAT BRANCH INTO THEIR OWN TIMELINES MARIO CAN END UP WITH DIFFERENT PARENTS ITS SO COOLLLLLL#and i love how each of the major branches has their own theme like “action hero” is the one with all the gameplay-focused#mainline titles “storied hero” is the one with all the M&L rpgs and more plot-heavier stuff and “blue collar hero” is this third one#with all the donkey kong titles and wackier/arcade titles WHERE i might add his design had a blue shirt and red overalls#and the tl builds off of those games into nsmb so i like to hc that he kept his early 80s design well into the later games <-autistic sorry#AND how thetimelines represent how their different backstories have influenced their personalities and thought processes a little like#what happened to mario in the blue collar branch like he either becomes EVILL!!!! and kidnaps donkey kong leading to dkjr or#divorces peach and has a self isolation arc after nsmb2 whats going on w him...#and i LOVE how all of them have a sort of common event where bowser invades the mushroom kingdom and in each timeline its#represented by a different variation of the original super mario bros game with action hero's event being represented by smb itself#which is fitting since thats the branch where mario and luigi ended up with their intended parents and everything went as planned#and i think a general theme here is that the more things go against intention the sillier it gets dont even get me STARTED on the time#travel shenanigans in bottom right which lead into the handheld remakes i love this so much its unreal#i do wish paper mario wasnt explained away as a dream but like thats its whole other world and art style and itd be difficult#to fit it into one of the major branches so i get why it was done. i probably wouldve just given it its own isolated bubble in the corner#at that rate i probably wouldve added so much more shit to the main tl im talking game&watch games i look at this and i see a pitch#for a full feature length autism production you understand
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munamania · 8 months
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so guys um. really fun update as a result of me once again being really good at understanding and responding to social situations. im pretty sure the friend im seeing is convinced we r like in a relationship or About to be and im just now realizing the extent of that and how quickly im slamming the brakes/going to attempt for smth more casual. um.. girl help
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prongsmydeer · 1 month
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Things I Liked About Perfect Propose (2024):
Having a main character who outright and clearly, at the beginning, says he is gay without caveat or needing to explain it
The exploration on how a toxic work environment can drain you in every part of your life ("But I don't feel anything anymore.")
Kaneko showing how much a good manager/team lead can keep you afloat in a job, and then Hiro taking that on himself ("I refuse! Sakamoto-san has been working hard enough.")
The revelation that being able to avoid conflict and anger isn't always a healthy thing, and in Kai's case comes from a lack of expectation that he will receive support ("When I asked him to leave the store, his reaction was as indifferent as when I told him not to visit." "He probably doesn't expect much.")
The push and pull of Kai always voicing what he wants, while still giving Hiro the space to decide whether or not he wants the same thing. ("By creating an escape route like this, that's why I want to keep on spoiling him.)
The trope which is quickly becoming a favourite of mine, the let-me-seriously-consider-my-feelings-and-let-you-know! ("I need time. Time to properly face you and then give you an answer.")
The trope subversion of Kai saying that he hasn't had feelings for Hiro the whole time he's known him, even if Hiro is the only person he's seriously liked
Mr. Kenji and his gruff but caring relationship with Kai
Kai's legitimate hesitation to change his and Hiro's relationship given how his bonds with people have resulted in disappointment and guilt ("Being involved with people is heavy.")
How unambiguous Hiro's confession is despite not using the word love ("I'll give you my remaining years!" / "It feels like a proposal, doesn't it?" "It is a proposal.")
Things I Didn't Like About Perfect Propose (2024)
Mainly the episode 1 insomnia [redacted]. For why? I get that's coming from the source material, but it's reinforcing a reprehensible trope (on top of being a stereotype that can actually be used to harm real people) and if you wanted a physical intimacy in the first ep, I feel like there are better ways to do it
While their adult friendship and childhood friendship are both fine on their own, and I know they've not seen each other for more than 10 years, the optics of having such a large age gap in their initial friendship (elementary and high school) and then going on to date (and/or get engaged) are a little wild
It is one of many, many shows that will only verbally categorize characters as straight or gay. ("I'm gay." / "Well, Hirokuni, you're straight.") It is obvious by the end of the show that Hiro is capable of attraction to multiple genders, why will we say every word but bisexual?
Hiyori did not need to keep fixating on Hiro being with a guy. That's your coworker, leave him be!
I wish a bit that they explored more of what exactly Kai likes about Hiro aside from being needed, because for Kai we can see Hiro admiring his cooking, being endeared by his confidence, his comforting, even enjoying talking to him on the phone. But we don't see that for Kai, and Kai doesn't see what we as the audience see about Hiro being thoughtful by bringing his colleagues snacks and sending them home, or being dedicated by showing up hours early so he can go to the festival on time and running to get Kai yakisoba when his day goes too long, or being selfless standing up for Sakamoto and taking on a double workload so his junior doesn't burned out. Even if Kai's feelings are established, I want to hear more of why he likes Hiro so much voiced. Especially with the show's premise being rooted in reconnecting with a former friend. What do you like now?
While I love that Kai has a support system in Mr. Kenji in his way, and I understand he is working through a lifetime of trauma, I think Kai needs some friends! Get a friend, Kai. I would've loved if he actually got that drink with his coworker, in the same way Hiro has an ongoing friendship with Kaneko and his other colleagues
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lulughoul · 10 months
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I'm so pissed at the new fashionista line because I actually love the concept of taking inspiration from quintessential Barbie dolls from every decade and yet they executed it in the laziest and most unflattering way possible. Obviously. Like imagine what we would have gotten if this line was released in the early 2010s 😭
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mainfaggot · 3 months
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guys i think I found something that makes me want to kill myself LESS oh my god
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llondonfog · 8 months
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🫠
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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...
#it's so weird trying to describe yourself when u really aren't something u used to be#like until i was probably 21 or so id say i was shy. very very shy. but now im like was that even true? was i ever shy bc im not now#maybe i was just quiet and anxious. maybe thats just what being shy is. but im still both of those things but im not shy#im sorta like a hermit. i dont really go around ppl if i can avoid it but i dont hate being around ppl. its just that im less anxious when#im alone. but if u put me around ppl i like to talk to them so im not shy. ill say whatever. i dont really give a fuck#but if u throw me in a group i go back to being a non entity. i guess thats just being an introvert with an asocial streak#thats a thing i noticed while i was at the grad weekend i attended in march. the group would gather and do things while i kinda just#wandered away from them to poke at trees and sit in the snow. i dunno i just feel better away from ppl. my brain gets a lot louder if ive#been too social. which is a shame bc its interesting to watch ppl and understand how thry work#my friend came over to day goodbye before i leave next week. which was nice. i wish we would have hung out more in person but so it goes#and i think in my head im a lot more contained thst i actually am. like if u set me a task that becomes my focus but im also sorta all over#the place. partly bc i think my brain works on like a lag. and also my mood is a little elevated rn so im sorta like *jazz hands* and#talking too fast and too much and oversharing. yesterday i was instrucing an undergrad and felt so bad bc my brain was all over the place.#could not b made linear. im tired now tho bc theres nothing more draining than being emotionally honest and talking for like 2hrs. woof. it#so hot. like fucking so hot bc the monsoons have started and humidity is up so my swamp cooler is fucked and its gotta b at least 80 degree#inside my apartment. holy christ. and the temp has been over 100 degrees for like at least 2 weeks. its so hot its kinda alarming. and im#glad my friend was also freaked out by how hot its been bc oh god its hot. and i cant focus. ive done fuck all today. but i did get rid of#couch which is so so so great. ugh. someone make the sun stop making it so hot#unrelated#its been over 100 degrees outside for like 2 weeks. not on my apartment#and when i say i wish i spent more time with my friend irl. i mean it in a distant sort of way. like thats how im supposed to feel. like i#dont kno if thats actually what i feel or i kno im supposed to b social but idk if i actually mean it
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weedstop · 1 year
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thank god for buy one get one sales 😭 haters said i could never get here
(now maybe i’ll stop being pissy about everyone having weed to smoke but me 😂)
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jb-bang · 4 months
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Pete Rawhide would not be a big fat fluffy black cat as like fursona but he would be as an animal, yeah?
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feline-evil · 5 months
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Blood drooling from my mouth I neeeeeeeeed to get back into making music i neeeed to i do i need to. I fucking. Foaming at the mouth frothing at the mouth i haven't played an instrument in so long.
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castielmacleod · 2 years
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Just a few photos of Nida Khurshid I’m absolutely obsessed with
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