#and i want buddie to be canon because those two are meant to be

[buddiebeginz]

I’ve made posts about this before but I’m gonna keep on about it. Please if you love Buddie (when you have time) you need to be posting about them on every social media platform there is. Also liking and commenting on posts especially ones that are on official 911 accounts like the main ABC one or the actors or when interviews come out.

If ABC posts about Buck/Eddie or Ryan and Oliver you need to remind them in the comments we’re rooting for Buddie. I know Buddie fandom is bigger and louder than B/T fans but I keep seeing them all over. There's no reason that pairing with two eps of build up are getting anywhere near the level of attention as Buddie does.

I’m not saying as fans we have all this power over what is going to happen on the show but we have some sway. It’s part of how bi Buck has even happened. So us being so vocal and supportive of Buddie all these years and even more now while the story is still unfolding matters.

I don't want Tim or anyone else getting the impression that we want T*mmy sticking around any longer than necessary at least not as a love interest.

I know there's been a lot of talk about how the show needs take their time and build Buddie's story if they're going canon and I know some want Buck to be with T*mmy so Buddie can have that slow burn towards getting together. While I do think it's important that Buddie's story is not rushed and handled with care that fact is we really have no idea how many seasons the show even has. I wish some of you would realize we are not living in the golden age of tv anymore. We are living during a time when tv shows get canceled even when they are successful just as a way for networks to cut costs. It's why Fox canceled 911 before it was moved to ABC.

So as much as I do want the show take all the time in the world with Buddie I also want us to actually get to see them go canon. I also feel like we've been in a slow burn with them for six years especially those of us who have watched the show for its entire run. I want to see the show make some progression in moving Buddie's story further along. I'm not saying I want them to be in a relationship tomorrow, absolutely not. But I do think that moving into season 8 I'd like the show to have given us some kind of canon sign that both men feel something for each other beyond friendship. We know they do but I mean something that can't be taken any other way like say an almost kiss at the wedding for example. I'd also like for Eddie to be dealing with his own sexuality storyline by next season.

Back to T*mmy in all honesty the main reason I don't want to see him sticking around much longer is because of his fans. I'm tired of just how much the B/T fans have taken over our fandom. All the tags even ones on other social media platforms are being overrun by B/T and worse by negativity towards Buddie and Eddie and the complete minimizing of the importance of Buddie going canon. I'm glad that T*mmy has helped Buck with his bi awakening but he is so clearly not meant to be an endgame love interest. I just want to see him gone or have the storyline at least move on to where if he's still on the show it's as a friend for Buck, which I personally think he needs more than a relationship right now. Someone who is queer who can help him navigate this newly discovered part of himself.

[deluweil]

Based on the last speculations (bi-Buck and probably him having something with a man), how optimistic are you for Buddie going canon? Do you think we’ll get some Eddie reaction/jealousy? I want to be optimistic but I’m scared they’ll do the same shit from last season…

Look, I said it before, Bi-Buck will probably be only with Eddie,

Buck is not who he was, Buck 1.0 AND 2.0 would have experimented his way through the greater male population of LA .

But this one? He will want the man who makes him feel like everything, who sees him, we know that's what his looking for, he said it in 6x15.

No one has ever seen him better than Eddie - Buck, imo, assuming he actually was just straight up until now, is probably more Eddie-sexual than anything else.

Now if you have asked me about Eddie, I could definitely see him, going through several failed male encounters, where the sex is great but it's not quite it, with Buck jealous as hell in the background not really understanding why - until he does.

You see, if the whole saying yes year (which was the dumbest idea ever and got executed so badly we hardly knew it existed) was this year where he says yes, and not to reproducing for others, I'd say maybe, but now, I don't think so.

My money is more on Eddie figuring it out first and him dating other men will kick Buck into motion.

Especially with Ryan taking a bigger role this season, this is right in his wheelhouse, and out of the two of them Ryan actually portrayed a gay character before.

I gotta say though, that while ABC have already done the Bi (both male and female) character arcs - it is still dependent on 911 creators to make that decision and I stopped trusting the showrunners a long time ago.

There's a part of me that is sure that the only reason buddie was not made canon yet is because KR was stuck along with FOX in the heteronormative narrative they kept shoving down our throats.

I want to believe that the move to ABC will allow buddie to become canon, but I am not getting my hopes up, and by the things I'm seeing so far, I don't feel very optimistic about it.

I do believe we'll get gay Eddie though, because that suit was screaming out and proud, the last groom I saw in this kind of suit, was divorced and out of the closet 6 months later, just saying. (by the way me and my gay best friend won that wager, but the original wedding was fun lol).

So, you know, glass half full and all that.

We'll keep our fingers crossed and hope for a fun ride.

[spicyrottingbrains]

You know the argument where people are like buck and eddie are straight and they're best friends and nothing more and that we should healthy male friendships in media without ship etc. etc.?? Well forgetting about every argument i have against all of of this and IF we were to consider that they are nothing but best friends then you know what would still make the most sense in regards to their storylines (together and individual)??? Not shoving random love interests for them into the plot and instead having them actually be two best friends who just raise a kid together without the need for anything else. Because no matter if you ship buddie or not I don't think there is a universe or a person who can counteract the fact that Evan buckley and Edmundo Diaz are soulmates. Stop having buck look for love in these doomed relationships and stop having eddie go out with these random people just because others are pressuring him to. People can be happy without relationships and if buddie won't be canon in a romantic sense then it would make so much sense for them to be happy with their family, because you gotta agree Buckk, Eddie and Chris, they are a family. Those three will always be there for each other and they will always put each other first. Those two are soulmates in every sense and they'd do anything for each other. Christopher comes first for both of them but right next to Chris is their best friend and that will not change. Their little family (+extended firefam) will always come first and no love interest could ever change that. It makes no sense for them to ignore the person who has had their back through so much fucking pain and heartbreak for someone who just came along into their lives to become top priority. Hell they're miserable without each other as is evident in the lawsuit Arc, the eddie leaving Arc, etc ect. They've been through too much for that. The firefam is the family they need and have. And they have each other (in whatever way that may be). It's like Ravi (my baby I love him so much I need more of him in s7) said its about having each others backs. And that is the entire premise of buddie since the very beginning, having each others back through thick and thin through joy and heartbreak, to never stop fighting for their family, that is the very essence that both Buck and Eddie's characters were built on. I did not go through 5 seasons of "there is no one I trust more with my son more than you","no one will fight for my son harder than you", "you can have my back any day.....or you could have mine", "isn't that what love is....knowing you have each other back", "when you're at your worst and they're at their worst and you have every reason to give up and you still decide you want to try", "what are you afraid of" buck showing up at Eddie's during the lightning aftermath, buck crawling under a freaking firetruck to get to eddie, Christopher running to buck at any point of distress, and so many more times where those three have always been what they need for anyone to disregard the fact that the buckley-diaz family are meant to be.

Ok I'm done.

[muffinlance]

Read "Suki, Alone". Liked it in general. But can they please, please hire someone who knows both the show's actual events and how to follow through on a character arc? Because guys. Guys. That comic is not implying about Suki what they meant it to be implying, and all because of literally one line.

So like. From a writer's standpoint:

What they meant to do: show Suki as a community-oriented person who cares for her people, and believes in everyone succeeding together.

As opposed to (spoilers): the thief girl they set her up in contrast with, who's pretty upfront and consistent on primarily looking out for herself. She betrays Suki for one (1) corn chip to improve her own life at the prison, no surprise.

But the problem is: they give Suki an inspirational line to the effect of "we're all working together and we'll all break out together"

You know

The thing she does not do in the show

So if both the show and this comic are canon, then instead of setting up a compare/contrast with the thief girl, they've just set up a comparison. One were Suki is arguably worse, because she's been leading a significant number of prisoners on with her "we'll all fight and win our freedom together!" business, only to straight up cut them out of the escape loop and abandon them, whereas the thief is only leading Suki on in the sense that Suki keeps telling her what it's morally correct to think and confuses snide replies with agreement

My dudes. My fellow writers. You people actually being paid for this. There were so many ways to fix those awful implications against our girl's character, the simplest of which would be to not include that line. Or they could have, you know, made it canon compliant with what actually happens in the show, so that this comic doesn't set Suki up as a betrayer instead of a community builder. Like... just send all her good prison buddies off to other prisons in the wake of the warden finding out they're colluding. Have it timed to be right before the next new prisoners arrive, thus setting it immediately before the Boiling Rock episodes, so Suki didn't have anyone left in the prison she'd want to take with her on a breakout. For bonus points, include a page or two of her and her Kyoshi warriors opening up the cell of one of her prison friends post-war, thus implying she's tracking down and actually fulfilling her promises. Maybe even show her doing the same with thief girl, who was established as being imprisoned on false charges anyway, and also showing that Suki is A) the bigger person, and B) willing to acknowledge her own role in mistakes (because I cannot emphasize enough how much thief girl was not hiding her own priorities, and it was Suki who approached HER with all this, not the girl ever doing anything special to weasel her way in) (this would also open up an opportunity for paralleling Suki's earlier in-comic mistake of not listening to one of her friend's very valid thoughts and feeling, which lead to the girl leaving their island alone pre-canon; a "seeing people as they are, not what you want them to be" moment)

Anyway yeah enjoyable enough for a quick read but another one for the "this can't be canon or the characters are So Much Worse than they were in the actual show" pile

At least Aang didn't promise to murder anyone in this one

[shadamyheadcanons]

For me, Shadow and Amy's dynamic is basically two different types of touch starved in a person

((If any of the gifs on this post aren’t loading for you on mobile--like they aren’t for me--you can download them or check the sources listed. As for desktop, they play just fine, but they won’t line up next to each other like they do on mobile. Tumblr is a comedy of errors.))

Yes! Absolutely. I’ve seen tons of fans say Shadow is prickly and would respond badly to hugs, but canon says otherwise. This is a bad reaction:

[Sonic 06]

Whenever I feel like being sad, I wonder if Bad-Future-06 Silver has ever been hugged.

This is a bad reaction:

[Sonic Unleashed, gif source.]

And I shouldn’t have to say this, but...yeah. These are very bad reactions:

[Sonic X]

[Sonic Generations]

Yikes. I feel bad for both of them.

But this?

[Sonic Adventure 2, gif source.]

This is Shadow’s only canonical hug in the games, and aside from jumping slightly from being snuck up on, he seems to like it just fine.

Just look at that smile! He’s happy. He finds it endearing.

It was a hug from a complete stranger meant for someone else, but he still drank it in--and, given that he’d effectively just lost Maria, he really did need it. It’s the combination of Amy’s gentleness AND her speech that changed his mind. After all, if someone as sweet as her sees something in the humans, maybe they’re not so bad.

My buddy who runs @shadowxamyweek recently reblogged a post about this hug, and their tags sum it up perfectly:

[ID: A screenshot of tags on a post. The tags read:

#official art #4kids #shadow the hedgehog #amy rose #YEAH 😭 #listen I read nothing that has happened with them in SA2 as shippy - and i ship them #THIS HUG? THR SPEECH ON THE ARK? #those are two lonely kids #those are two left behind kids #those are two kids so desperate for affection #for two vastly different reasons #Amy loves with her whole chest and will never stop doing so- no matter what happens #and Shadow does too- that is key to remember- Shadow loves... so fucking much... that it hurts #you are RIGHT op when you say this is probably the first time someone has been gentle with him in a long long time #he doesn't even run away #in the game- when Amy flees- he takes a step after her- a moment's hesitation- a 'wait' #this kid NEEDED a hug #and i firmly believe part of the reason Shadow listens to Amy in the end is BECAUSE she is the only person who showed him gentleness #softness and kindness and affection #if only for a moment #fjdodhdofjgor THIS is what i mean when i say 'be gentle- be kind' #it MATTERS #it FUCKING MATTERS

End ID]

Shadow doesn’t hate hugs inherently; it’s just that no one hugs him in the first place...

...aside from one person.

Amy’s easily the most affectionate character in the cast. It’s cute at first glance, but there’s a common thread to every instance that puts a damper on it.

She’s always, ALWAYS the initiator.

She puts more into each hug than anyone else does.

She’s always the last to pull away.

The most reciprocated Amy hug I know of in canon is this one:

[IDW Sonic issue #22]

Which is absolutely adorable...but Amy still initiated. Because it’s always her job. Even the characters who like affection don’t need it the way she does...with one exception.

And this tiny detail just killed me. The little, “wait, come back 😟”

It’s the only time I know of when someone has actually stepped after her like this. In a game where everyone left Amy behind, he wanted to follow her. Mister so-called-prickly didn’t want the hug to end.

Because he’s the only one who needs it as much as she does.

He wants to be held as much as she wants to hold someone else, and no one else is warm and sincere enough for it. Compare these instances:

[IDW issue #6]

Sonic thinks Shadow is wrong about something, so he grabs Shadow’s arm to stop him, and Shadow aggressively wrenches it away and leaves.

[Archie Sonic Universe #23]

But when Amy thinks Shadow is wrong about something and grabs his arm to stop him, he gently removes her hand and thinks about what she has to say.

Even when he doesn’t want to be touched, he makes the distinction between “don’t touch me” and “not right now, please.” These are from two different continuities, of course, but I think the point stands. Amy’s special. He’s gentler with her than he is with other people, and that’s consistent across all canons.

Side note: how often does Amy get to feel special like that? I actually really like that Sonic doesn’t place others in a hierarchy of importance, and I wouldn’t change that about him even if I could...

[IDW issue #2]

...but Amy does play favorites. I want her to feel like she’s someone else’s favorite, too. I want her to have someone who puts her first and likes her best. I think Shadow’s more than capable of that. I believe he craves clinginess like hers deep down, even if he hasn’t consciously figured that out yet.

I have an entire tag for these two being affectionate. My favorite is probably this one.

Of course, there may be those who say I’m reading too much into one (1) hug. And you know what? Maybe they’re right! We need a bigger sample size. Sega, make more characters hug Shadow, please. Let Rouge comfort him after he confides in her about something. Have Omega give him an awkward metal embrace because he read on the internet that organic beings like that kind of thing. Make Shadow himself pull Silver into a hug when he’s breaking down crying from the stress of always having to be a hero. Show Tails accidentally grab onto him out of fear when they’re trapped in a lightning storm, and when he gets embarrassed and pulls away, have Shadow hold him for the rest of the storm and admit he’s not fond of bright lights, either.

[Sonic Boom]

That scene where Shadow and Amy rescue Cream and Cheese from Cryptic Castle? That easily could’ve turned into a cute group hug.

[Shadow the Hedgehog (2005)]

And I have seen some absolutely adorable fanart where he holds Cream’s hand while he and Amy lead her through Cryptic Castle to make sure she doesn’t get lost 🥺

Have Knuckles give him an empathetic bro-pat on the shoulder when he finds out Shadow’s the last one of his race, too.

[Archie Sonic Universe #89]

Have Sonic try to hug him, and then when Shadow inevitably pushes him away and says he doesn’t do hugs, have Amy arrive and latch onto Shadow instead while he tries to stutter out an excuse as to why she’s allowed to and Sonic isn’t.

The most affection Shadow has in recent history is stuff like this...

[Sonic Prime season 2 episode 1]

...where Sonic tries to hug him and Shadow immediately pushes him away, knocks him over, and tries to punch him in the face. Kind of says it all. Amy stands out as the only one with a good track record here.

[IDW issue #36]

Especially when you have him look at her like this when someone else is on the receiving end of that affection.

So in the absence of further evidence, I have no choice but to interpret this in the most Shadamy way possible. Your move, Sega.

[cultofdixon]

Let me help, sunshine

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • Your anxiety toward your own self worth because of what’s happen to you, makes it hard to be a part of certain things. But he’s so in love with you that you never had to worry. • ANGST/SFW • TW: Injuries / Limping / Canon Violence

Requested by: Anon

It feels like a fever dream. The good.

Y/N stood outside the burning prison holding herself as she shook from the blasts that forced her out of the bed she almost died in. The force from the blast also knocked her on her side, resulting in injury…

She’s been limping trying to find another from her group, or really shelter for that matter.

This feels like the start of the outbreak all over again. Struggling to walk through the destroyed earth and being mistaken as the undead. One too many accidents happened because of such.

The Claimers found her alone before Daryl joined them, even before Rick killed one of their own. He didn’t know Y/N was a part of them because their paths never crossed, and then again Y/N wasn’t…free. She was controlled that entire time, even when Daryl ended up with them.

He was relieved to find her alive. Relieved on an astronomical level…but it wasn’t a happy reunion. The two of them…

Daryl tried to check on her when he first saw she was with them. But this Len or Lenny guy blocked his way and glared at the archer.

“She’s been claimed, buddy”

The archer of course didn’t know what that meant but given her tense posture and the injuries that looked fresh, this group was one of the messed up ones. Or at least this guy that said such.

Their leader explained the rules. Whatever you see that you want, you say “claimed” then no one can do anything about it. Daryl instantly questioned why it was used on a person and was met with obvious looks that made his skin crawl.

“He won’t do nothin’ around us.” Joe laughs leading the way and the group started to walk.

Daryl wasn’t going to leave her and didn’t want to fight anyone in case they’d inflict anything on Y/N. Because little does she know…

When this group started to move and Y/N slowly faded into the back of the group, Daryl looked to the one who “claimed” her and given he wasn’t forcing her back beside him. He took that as his chance to talk to her in hopes no one notices.

But before he got a word in—-

“I’m glad you’re alive” Y/N whispers to Daryl as both felt that reassuring warmth grow in their chest, relieved that the other is still standing.

“Are you okay?” He whispers as she didn’t say a word but shook her head. She looks like a wreck. “You understand this claim nonsense?”

“I know if I just touched your arm, I will meet the short end of that stick”

Daryl wanted to help her given she seemed to be having trouble walking. But this situation with the Claimers only escalated.

This Len guy that claimed her, wanted to get rid of Daryl and decided to use their rules against him. Though it backfired on the guy and the leader in a way, preferred Daryl in their group. But when Len met the other end of a bolt…that brought up an uncomfortable situation.

“Can we claim what was his?” One of the Claimers stated and Daryl instantly stepped in front of Y/N covering her.

“Claimed.” He states and glared at those who even had the thought, which was most of them. Joe laughs a bit to himself and to Daryl’s eagerness.

“She’s yours, man. Even if she is kind of a dud” Joe continued to laugh and every fiber of Daryl’s being wanted to snap him in half, but given she doesn’t have to worry about any of them laying a hand on her. He could check their injuries at the next break they take.

But the next break happened in the middle of a road…where they were met with those who killed one of their own…that happened to be their family. Daryl did his best to intervene, even Y/N.

Then of course, violence was the only answer there.

It happened fast.

Rick taking out Joe, Michonne going after the Claimer keeping her down and the two going for the one on Carl. Daryl took out one of the Claimers on him as Y/N took down the other on the archer.

But the remaining Claimer knocked Y/N onto the ground, pinning her and the painful scream that ripped out of her when he applied all his weight on her already bad leg…triggered Daryl to full on football tackle this man off of Y/N and boy did he meet his maker.

Daryl went to check on Y/N but she wasn’t letting anyone touch her in the moment. He kept a respectable distance when they recuperated for the night and Y/N held onto herself for most of her avoiding eye contact from everybody. She was really wishing they didn’t lose the prison in that moment. Then she wouldn’t have succumbed to all the pain from the illness to her leg causing a lot of discomfort.

“Have you been with this group since the fall of the prison?” Michonne asked Y/N as she shook her head struggling to catch up to her pace when they walked to this ‘Terminus’ place. “Did you see anyone when you woke up? From the illness…”

“I heard Glenn, but I wasn’t quick enough to getting out. He wasn’t there anymore when I got out so there’s hope that he’s still alive”

“And knowing Maggie, she’s probably lookin’ for him” Michonne reassures whatever ounce of anxiety courses in Y/N’s mind when it came to the living status of their family.

Daryl glances back every once in a while to check on Y/N, making sure she was still behind them. She was getting slower and slower the more they walked endlessly.

And that only got worse after Terminus, and after the hospital…

The group was walking endlessly to a shelter that they have no idea exists. Everyone followed Rick’s lead and didn’t question it, but everyone was exhausted. Depressed. Mourning. It was just too much to deal with. Every break they took felt like it wasn’t enough and Y/N didn’t want to share anything on her mind when it came to her physical well-being. Meaning every thought of “just another five minutes” got shoved down and she found herself dragging her injured leg to avoid limping and stepping on it at times causing the sharp pain to radiate.

Her family took notice of the times she end up in the back and those who didn’t want to face the pain they endured mentally, they would stick with her and talk about it. She couldn’t just walk away, not that she would either. It was difficult to push her pain aside, literally.

“Why is he always looking back here…” Y/N whispers, catching Carol’s attention to look ahead noticing Daryl checking on them every now and then.

“You are always at the back. He’s checking on you. Making sure you’re still with us” Hm…

“It’s just…the deadpan look” Y/N shivered slightly a bit tense. “He’s a bit intimidating…and mysterious. But he’s kinda been like that always…just a bit more protective ever since reuniting…”

Carol may not know about what happened from the prison to terminus regarding her friends. But she knew why Daryl would be protective of Y/N.

The walking became rougher the more their group grew tired and dehydrated…Y/N started to think about staying behind. Because the stops didn’t last long but she found herself taking a while to get back up. Least her wounds weren’t bleeding anymore. The bruises lingered. Main thing being the limp and swelling…

Daryl couldn’t help the anxious feeling he got when the group started to pick back up after they had a break to look around their surroundings for food and water. He checked the group around him and then to the back…

No Y/N.

He didn’t want to rile anybody up and make everyone freak out, so he did his usual check around the group until he got to the back and once no one was looking he started to track back. It didn’t take long for him to find Y/N still sitting at the last spot they took a break at, she just thought it would be easier on them if she disappeared.

“Daryl…” Y/N frowns watching him kneel down to her noticing how bad her leg was and mentally beating himself up for not taking care of it sooner. A lot happened, there wasn’t a big enough window to take care of it. “You shouldn’t be here”

“Oh yeah? And you should?” His anger spilled into his tone with a hint of regret. “Why didn’t yea holler for anyone? Or me?”

“Thought it be easier…” Daryl gave her that same deadpan look that made Y/N now sigh because of the situation. “For me to just. Not hold y’all back”

“That ain’t right. Ain’t right one bit” Daryl scoffs trying to help Y/N up but she smacked his hands away for a moment. “Y/N.”

“Daryl just go. Seriously.” She frowns. “I don’t want to hold anyone back. That’s why I just told a few of y’all that I’ll catch up…”

“But you weren’t. And yea didn’t even tell me that. Since yea knew I would argue…well I’m gonna fucking argue” He sets his crossbow down turning himself around and patting his shoulders for her arms.

Y/N was confused. Confused as to why he cared so much. But she complied as she was too exhausted to try and defend her point in any way. What even was there to defend? She didn’t want to be the burden that she currently was and didn’t want to hold the group back. Daryl got that but every fiber of his being would scream if she wasn’t with them.

The retired sheriff gained suspicion when both Daryl and Y/N weren’t around him. But when he turned toward the back he saw the two. Daryl carried Y/N on his back as she had his crossbow on hers. He sighed a bit relieved before continuing further.

All this walking…made the suspicion thing of water magically appearing, very appealing.

“You think it’s poisoned?” Carol questions Rick as he shrugs, still not trusting it though.

“Someone is watching us”

“So we shouldn’t trust it” Sasha states watching Eugene instantly go for a bottle and the moment he opened it, Abraham smacked it out of his hand. “Seriously?”

“What?! Someone has to test it for poison”

“Should’ve been me” Y/N scoffs. “I doubt imma last much longer on this leg”

“Stop.” Daryl couldn’t help but be upset by such as he blocked her from going over to it. Even if she wasn’t going to.

Then a miracle happened, or a coincidence, whichever you believe in…when the rain started to pour. Few started to open the bottles, empty them and fill it with the rain. Others enjoyed the downpour…and those who’ve lost took it all in

Y/N still kept close to Daryl, this time for warmth but she felt uneasy…nothing changed with the physical feeling but something pained her chest as she looks up at Daryl noticing the sadness that radiated from his blank expression. She took a chance by gently interlocking her fingers with his as he instantly brought his attention to their hands before looking at her.

“I’m gonna be okay, Dixon. I have you”

Her words struck him down, while the rain actually made her fall down from slipping. A small laugh was shared even if that drew more worry from Daryl’s end.

The two have been close and the time from the Claimers to the barn being told about this new place that they could call home brought them closer. Now the group was being evaluated to be helpful around the community, they took their chances with it. With caution of course.

“How’s your leg?” Maggie asks Y/N once she got settled on the couch, after being told to stay out by both Daryl and Rick.

“The surgeon guy they have said I won’t lose it but I have to stop walking on it”

“And yea better listen” Daryl was quick to add bringing himself to the window behind the couch sticking close. Maggie let out a small laugh to his response but she knew he cared for Y/N.

It’s been a day and a half with being in this new community and Daryl kept to himself for the most part. Sticking outside on the porch of Carol’s on the side that connects to Rick’s. He would look in the window every now and then to check on Y/N making sure she stayed put. She slept for the most part given she didn’t let herself sleep when with the Claimers and during the illness she was afraid to. Finally not dealing with any threat she thought it would be okay and she was being taken care of so nothing to worry about.

Reg, Deanna’s husband, made his way over to the Grimes’ residence when most of them were out and Daryl instantly shot up from the porch when he got to the steps.

“Heard y’all had someone with a bum leg. Thought I’d bring these over” He states pointing out the crutches in hand. “We found them a while ago but knew Pete didn’t want your person using them immediately.”

“Thanks.”

“You gonna give them to…?”

“Y/N.” Daryl brought himself to the Grimes side and took the crutches as Reg smiles in his direction when he didn’t return it back. “Her name is Y/N”

“She’s important to yea, huh? I can tell” Reg smiles with a laugh followed as Daryl felt a twitch of a smile that he did his best to hide.

“I uh. Better get these to her…”

“If you ever need anything, don’t be afraid to ask” Reg adds while taking his leave as Daryl watches him go to make sure he was gone before going inside the house.

The man always manages to sneak up on everybody, but to his surprise Y/N wasn’t asleep and gave him a smile the second he walked in.

“You shower yet?” She smirks listening to him scoff instantly. “Carol made me ask next time you came in to check in on me”

“You know I’ve been checking on yea?”

“You are sneaky, but not that sneaky” Y/N smiles bringing her legs off the couch patting the space next to her. Daryl approached at first because of the discomfort that grew on her face when she moved her leg, but then sat with her when she relaxed once more. “Those for me?”

“Nah they’re for me” Daryl jokes, a bad one, but it got a small laugh from Y/N. “The swelling down?”

“Yes. Not completely but enough to move around I guess…” She carefully brought her leg onto the coffee table showing Daryl as his worry poured out of him but in his own way. His eyes said everything. “Daryl, can I ask you something?”

“Mhm”

“Why…why were you so upset when I told you to leave me behind? I didn’t…if this place never came, I wouldn’t have wanted to be a burden to you all”

“And I can’t live in a world without you” Daryl without any hesitation admits a hidden feeling that Y/N, of course, didn’t connect that at all by everything he’s done. But it made sense…

“Daryl…”

“I wanted to go back in, when that son of a bitch attacked the prison…but Beth dragged me out. Tellin’ me you’re still alive. I believed her, but I was angry” Daryl frowns keeping his eyes onto his hands as he messes with a loose thread at the hem of his shirt. “I would’ve been angry forever if I let yea die in there…then those fuckers had yea. Hurt yea…and thank fuck they met their end, for ever laying a hand on you. But it just got worse and you were hurting the entire time that I just. I just needed to control one thing just for a moment…to keep you around…so I’d understand if yea don’t feel the same way or anythin’. But I’ll always do my best to keep yea around. For everybody, for myself, and for you.”

The immediate silence gave mixed signals to Daryl but before he could even have the thought of getting up and giving her space. Y/N gently brought her hand to his, letting him carefully take hers.

“I know you’re serious about your feelings…Im a bit…taken back…because I’ve never been a first choice or whatever. I’m not the best at explaining my feelings”

“Neither am I” His thumb rubs circles against her hand feeling her squeeze his hand while a soft giggle escapes her lips.

“Yeah, but at least you said something” Y/N smiles warmly. “Because let’s be real. Rick or Carol or Maggie—-literally anyone in our group. Would’ve probably had to lock us in a room together to get one of us to say something…if my anxiety of being locked in places didn’t kick in” he hums for a quick response taking in her words.

“I thought I scared yea. That’s why I didn’t say nothin’ sooner”

“Mm. You are intimidating, but I was more afraid of being rejected more than anything”

“So…”

“It’s mutual, Dixon” Y/N continues to smile leaning into his space pressing her lips against his cheek as his eyes closed to impact, and he found himself leaning toward her when she pulled away. “We’ll take it slow, Daryl. But to reassure you…I’m yours and no one will change my mind”

Daryl exhales finally letting that weight of possible rejection go as he turned entirely toward her releasing her hand and gently brushing the loose hair out of the way of her beautiful face. Admiring every feature for a moment.

“Will you let me finally help yea, sunshine?”

And so she did.

It took a few days to get used to walking without the help of crutches or her family hovering whenever they got the chance. Y/N was given a pantry job like Olivia which made it easier for Rick’s plans and Daryl got close with Aaron so he’s been planning a run with him while also building a bike. Which lifted his spirits when in this place, beside her of course.

“Hey!”

Daryl quickly turns to the voice after turning his bike on and tried to fight back the smile that succeeded in shinning through when Y/N made her way over to him without too much of a struggle.

“Hey…how’re yea feelin’?”

“Better. Going on a test run?”

“Yeah, ain’t letting yea on it until I know it won’t fling yea off without me knowing”

“So considerate” She laughs followed by a smile. “Be safe. Can’t have you limping”

“Mhm. I will…and even if shit happened, I know I’ve got yea”

[novelizt]

THE CAUTIOUS TALE OF LIVING WITH ONE: ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

GENRE ➺ fluff with angst. strangers to housemates to lovers.

WC ➺ 6.9k

SYNOPSIS ➺ and they were roommates (kind of)

WARNING ➺ brief mention of poisonous candles + food delivery service (if that diverges from canon), and also mentions of skincare (if you're not into that)

DISCLAIMER ➺ fem! reader; fashion designer! reader; and i have magically added another room on the second floor. your room is across from lockwood's; you're welcome. reader is also implied to be short. lockwood calls reader 'love' but they're in denial.

NOTE ➺ is it obvious that i'm in love with him? i am obsessed with lockwood x designer!reader lately. like, imagine lockwood being her muse and arm candy to fashion shows?? him being styled by her before hunting ghosts so he's ready for interviews after?? power couple, i love them. i hope you love them too.

It was one thing having a meet-cute with a pretty boy you met at a corner store, it was another to find out that he was going to be your landlord.

For starters, it wasn't very cute after the whole 'fantasizing over the possibilities' bit.

Sure, Lockwood sometimes leaves his door open; giving you a clear view of him loosening his tie and then shrugging off his shirt, but that image would often be tarnished by George walking out of his own room without trousers on. At that point, all you could think about was seeing two boys—in varying levels of half-nakedness—and how disturbed you are instead of turned on.

When you lounged about while they were on a case, you'd find articles of clothing strewn all over the place. Some of them even corroded by plasma — gross. You had the courtesy of sorting them out and even cleaning up, but you learned to be cautious of their buddy, Skull (who was best friends with Lucy, apparently), and the newspaper clippings that often narrated gruesome details you wished you could unsee.

Lastly, the fact that you lived in the same house but lived in different worlds. You were up during the day while he was up at night. All three members of Lockwood & Co. had to bear with you because your portion of rent was enough to stabilize their financial situation. Occasionally, you wondered if things would be different if you were talented—if you had the ability to go on their excursions with them; but you'd shoot down those thoughts and convince yourself to sleep instead.

The longing to be part of his world only grew stronger the longer you stayed in the room across his. The halls were ornamented with pictures of Lockwood & Co. Usually Lockwood, since he was the spearhead. With very new headline cut out from the gazette, you imagined being part of their close-knit group. From the outside looking in, they were family. Not by blood but by choice. If you were being honest to yourself, you'd admit that you were jealous, but you believed you had no right to be.

You were studying fashion, like you had always dreamed of. You had a cozy little room in a homely house. Your doubtful parents weren't around to poison your passion... but you missed being one part of a whole. You missed having people to rely on; people to gush to when your teacher said something particularly flattering; people to rush home to after a hard day when all you wanted to do was cry. But you settled for the comfortable silence between the four of you on the rare mornings you were all up at the same hour.

That morning, specifically, you kept your head down as you scuttled behind George's chair, trying to seem inconspicuous about the redness under your eyes. About to ask for some tea, you saved your breath when George pointed to the pot; your favorite brew already steaming inside.

"Thanks," you quipped, grateful to simply have to pour and sip to be engulfed by the comforting warmth of your favorite beverage.

"How was your sleep?" Lockwood asked. His voice was accompanied by the flippant noise of a newspaper being turned. That usually meant everyone was in high spirits and looking out for a new article about their great service.

"Good," you replied. "How was your case?"

Lucy glowed above her plate of waffles. "Amazing—"

"Extraordinary," George said, surprisingly more excited then Lucy.

Their enthusiasm wrapped around you and pulled you into their world for a moment. You smiled and sipped your drink. "You two sound happy. What happened?"

Lockwood looked up from his newspaper as George began to recount the tale. "Lucy kept hearing matches being struck, none of us understood why."

Lucy sat up a little straighter. "Then George found an old candle stump that had been left there. He said it smelled weird—"

"And I recognized the smell of green corn," Lockwood chipped in.

George leaned into his seat, flabbergasted at what that had just accomplished. "The bloke realized it was phosgene! How could you even know that?"

"Because I have plenty of books to read, Georgie," Lockwood said, feigning humility. He finally turned his eyes on you, looking like a kid on Christmas eve. "The candles had been infused with a poisonous substance. Whenever they were lit, the smoke would slowly poison the people who had the misfortune of breathing it in. We would have never figured it out if I didn't know that tidbit of information."

"Amazing," you gasped in true wonder.

Their line of work was risky but these three never ceased to surprise you with their brilliant feats, no matter which day of the week it was.

"Amazing, indeed," Lucy agreed.

Seems that Lucy and George were so overjoyed by their tryst that they either didn't notice or didn't mind that Lockwood had gotten a second biscuit from right under their noses. He held a finger to his lips and you mimed that your lips were zipped. He graced you with your favorite smile and you leaned against the counter to keep yourself upright.

"Oh, I feel hungry for jam," George said out of the blue. He turned in his chair and pointed to the shelf above you. "It's all the way up there. Mind getting it for me, dear housemate?"

"I don't mind at all, housemate," you replied with cheer. You turned to see just how far up he placed it, only to pale. He had stored it on the tallest shelf. It was so high up that you felt like the jar was running away from you.

"So that's where you put it!" Lucy shrieked, outraged. "It was no wonder I couldn't find it! You evil, evil man, George Karim."

"It was for the good of the house," George said discourteously.

"The good of the house my arse—"

Lockwood called your name abruptly. He said your name so carefully, you had a hunch that he was reading your mind. Your eyes snapped to him to find that he was already behind you. Your back virtually pressed to his chest; and man, was he warm. "Let me," he said. It might have just been you, but it sounded like he had spoken in cursive. You were in your head when he placed a gentle hand on your hip. His touch light and now seared into your memory.

"You cried. Did anyone hurt you?" he whispered. It was a struggle to keep yourself still.

"No. Just a rough day," you admitted, hoping your misery didn't blend into your tone.

"Oh," he rasped. "I hope you feel better now, love."

You tried to keep your voice stable. "I do. Thanks."

As quick as he had come, he was gone; delivering the jar to the thinking cloth and resuming his seat. You wonder how could he be so casual when your insides had forgotten how to function. After a moment of (hopefully) covert gaping, you willed your breathing to even and gulped down the rest of your tea.

—

No one knew how it happened. One day, Lockwood's dresser was bee-free; the next, it wasn't.

Apparently, Lockwood had left his window open all night and the bees got excited over the lemongrass essential oil in his drawer.

"Why do you even have lemongrass essential oil in your room?" George asked, ticked off.

Lockwood looked affronted by the question. "Do none of you have methods to relax yourselves?"

Regardless of his answer, you would all have to wait 'til morning to call a bee-keeper to safely take the bees out. For now, Lockwood had been buzzed out of his own room.

Lucy hobbled up to her room and locked the door when George brought up the question about where Lockwood would stay for the night. With a glance, George understood that Lockwood would not go into his room even if he was invited. George retired to his own quarters.

That left you and Lockwood to idle by the stairwell. You didn't know air could feel so thick 'til then.

"Well," Lockwood started, suddenly interested in the carpet. "I might just stay downstairs. He couches are lengthy enough."

The image of the boss of the house, your landlord and friend, retiring pitifully to the aged and sunken sofas was just sad. Pathetic, really.

You shook your head. "Stay in my room. I have a project I'm working on anyway. I won't be sleeping much."

"I couldn't possibly—"

You cut his niceties short. "You have a case to tackle tomorrow, if I recall correctly, and it's reportedly a type two. It won't sit right with me if you don't get ample rest for it. Lucy and George depend on you."

"I guess so," he conceded, pulling at the collar of his shirt.

The short journey to your room was the most shy you'd ever seen Lockwood. He was hunched into himself when he passed your door, welcomed into your corner of the world.

He had only seen glimpses of your abode. That was when you left your door ajar. Seeing it in full felt like a warm hug. The room felt so... you; from the disarray of your weighed blanket to the swaths of fabric laid across your worktable. Despite never having been in here after you moved in, he felt right at home. (Which he was, but it felt different somehow. He couldn't explain it even if you asked him.) The color returned to his face, accompanied by a sheepish smile.

"Make yourself comfortable," you said, pointing to your bed.

You gave him a feeble smile. He returned it with doubled enthusiasm before you dropped into your favorite chair and pulled what looked like the beginnings of a fabulous coat to your sewing machine.

He had settled into your sheets with ease, burying himself in your blanket that immediately drowned him with the smell of you. If he had to die, he'd like to die like this. But also, he'd like not to die because watching you from where he was felt so nice. It felt normal, and the easiness of all of this made him too giddy to rest.

The lights were dimmed and he found that you had a specific light angled at your worktable so you wouldn't disturb him.

He hid a smile under your blanket.

Even when drowse began to creep up on him, he peeled his eyes open to watch your hands work the fabric with the gentleness one would have with a baby. Your love in your work was evident in the way your eyes didn't stray and the way you continued despite the little pricks you'd get while pinning the fabric down.

Lockwood found ghost-hunting cool. He would spend all day watching a fencing match, but he could spend his whole life watching you and your love for your craft. That was the first time he had seen you work and he wished he had been more curious to see it sooner.

He fell asleep to the image of you taking a break and blessing him with a tender smile. He wasn't sure if that part was a dream.

—

George had made the earliest call to have the bees dealt with. Lockwood was relieved and disappointed at the same time. He was glad to have his room back but he'd also like to have an excuse to stay in yours. The rest of the house assumed that he was moody all morning because of the hive, so you took it upon yourself to lighten his mood.

In the middle of breakfast, you had excused yourself. He stared at your back, wondering what could possibly be so important that you skip out on the rare occasion of cake-for-breakfast. His queries came to a halt when you returned with an article of clothing folded between your arms.

It was the same color of the fabric he'd seen you putting together the last night, so it must have been what you were working on. You had finished it quickly. Judging by the smile on your face, you were happy about it, too.

"Ta-da," you sang, unraveling the piece and brandishing it in all its glory.

The outside was slate black serge fabric and the inside was lined with maroon silk or velvet. Whatever it was, it made the ensemble look especially lavish.

The surprise didn't end there. You swayed the lush coat in Lockwood's direction, smile growing as his shock did.

"For me?"

"For you," you confirm.

He takes the coat into his hands, marveling at the feel of it and reeling at the fact that he had watched you make this.

You all watched as a smile formed on his face. His eyes bright when they landed on you. "You're magic, you know that?"

Your cheeks warmed. You offered a modest laugh. "I saw yours covered in plasma burns. I thought you'd prefer a new one."

"I'll treasure this forever," the way he handled it with careful mindfulness proved it. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. It's the least I can do."

For a moment, you two smile at each other; feeling the words that neither of you were confident to say yet. It was lovely, and something you would definitely be remembering while you screamed into your pillow and kicked your feet at the end of the day.

George's voice brought you back to reality. "Hey, where's our coats?"

Lucy nodded in the midst of chomping down on a biscuit.

"In progress, don't worry," you assured smilingly.

Watching all three of his favorite people smile at each other made Lockwood falter. Well, George was trying to hide his behind his morning paper but they all knew he was smiling. Lockwood couldn't help his smile from growing, too.

—

Lockwood did his best to keep the coat pristine, he really did. He was conflicted between wearing it out or keeping it stored in his armoire. If he wore it, it would get ruined by the ghosts he was inevitably going to face. If he didn't, you would think he didn't appreciate it. There was no lesser evil, both would be equally anguishing.

Inevitably, you asked if he'd tried the coat yet, he had to wear it and show you how much he appreciated it. Later that day, he was harrowed by a single hole that singed straight through the tail of it.

"It isn't that bad, really," Lucy tried to say placatingly. Lockwood simply sunk into himself more.

"It's my favorite coat," he agonized.

"Roommate number three can always make you a new one," George said reasonably. "I mean, she does it for a living."

"Yeah!" Lucy said, trying to bring Lockwood's soul back. "I mean, look at that!"

When he looked up, he didn't know what was worse. The hole in his favorite coat or the boy you had given a wrapped box to. At his front door even.

You waved the boy away with a smile fit for a queen then turned to Lockwood & Co. the moment they entered your periphery. Your smile was warmer for them, but Lockwood was too wrapped up to notice.

He brushed passed you with an uncharacteristically calculated "hello."

"He's in a sour mood," Lucy explained, surrendering her rapier to the umbrella stand.

"He ruined his favorite coat," George said in his horrible impression of Lockwood.

You chuckled and glanced to the stairwell, just missing Lockwood's coat tail before he disappeared into the second floor.

—

"I have something to discuss with you," was Lockwood's way of announcing himself into your room.

You spun in your chair, giving him your undivided attention. It was a miracle that he didn't buckle under your gaze. "Which is?"

"I..." He hesitated for a moment but steeled himself as he recalled the boy and the way you smiled at him. "You didn't tell me you invite your customers into our house."

"Customer?" You tilt your head. He could almost believe you were innocent.

"Yes. That boy today—"

Realization shined in your eyes. Your light laugh cutting through his sermon. "That boy wasn't a customer, Lockwood."

"Oh, really?" He quized. He placed his fists on his hips, looking more like a disgruntled mother than an intimidating agent. "Then why did he have a box, with a ribbon?"

You stood, placing your steady hands on his shoulders. He tried not to hold his breath but he had audibly gasped. If you heard it, you showed no signs of it. "Anthony Lockwood, I would tell you if I was doing business in your house—"

"*Our* house. You live here, too."

"Fine," you relented. "our house, but that boy was my cousin. He asked me if the gift he got for his girlfriend was nice enough. He needed a woman's opinion and he got it."

The information turned in his mind. When it had clicked, his expression faltered. "Oh."

"Yes," you chuckled. "Oh."

"I'm sorry."

"No need to be," you reassured. "I wouldn't play with your trust like that. Besides, I wouldn't dare do business here. I have my own boutique now."

"You do?" You were surprised that he looked more excited than you.

"I do," you confirmed with a smile. "So, you won't have to put up with me for much longer."

"What?" His smile dropped. It made your smile falter.

The tides had turned. He placed his hands on your shoulders and looked at you with the intensity he had reserved for the down-turned photographs in the house. His eyes begged for an answer and you gave it to him: "I'm... not going to be staying here much longer."

"Why?" He was demanding instead of asking.

You assumed it was because your monthly pay was important for him to keep Lockwood & Co. in business. You gave him a humble smile but he was hurt by it. "Don't worry, I'll still provide my share of rent so you can keep Portland Row afloat. I can help more when my business takes off. This place is worth saving. I'll just be living somewhere else."

His grip on your shoulders tightened. "But why?"

The laugh you gave him was humorless. "What do you mean 'why'? I'm not really an agent, Lockwood. I'm a tailor. You don't need me here."

"Yes, I do," he confessed. He realized what he had said, processed your shining eyes, and froze. "I mean— we all need you. The coat you made me is one of a kind."

You deflated. "Ah... Well, I can be Lockwood & Co.'s personal tailor . . . from a distance."

No, he wanted to scream, but he had run his mouth when he hadn't intended to. He didn't trust himself to speak again, opting to nod instead. You took it as an acceptance and stuck your breaking heart to it.

"From a distance..." he whispered. He didn't want to believe it. Envisioning your room emtpy was like living in a world you didn't exist in. It was a nightmare.

—

"I hear rent is costly in that part of town, perhaps you should stay here."

Lockwood was as subtle as a gun. He dropped that statement on you as you folded up your first box. You blinked at him until you registerered what he said.

"I can handle it."

"No. I insist you stay here," he continued. "As a friend—" he tried not to wince. "—it would weigh on my conscience to let a friend spend so much more on rent when it's perfectly comfortable here, in Portland Row — no where else."

He heard George mutter, "very suave, Lockwood," behind him. Lockwood chose to ignore it.

Your brows furrowed. To his relief, you took your hands away from the box. To his horror you took an armful of clothes out of your cabinet.

"Where is this coming from, Lockwood?"

"Nowhere!"

You didn't seem convinced. His anxiety only built as you packed more clothes into the box.

"You're doing this because you're worried?" you asked like you had an inkling of why he was really badgering you. He hoped you didn't.

It's not exactly the tune he was playing but he goes along with it. "Exactly. I don't know what kind of person you'd be rooming with, you know. They could be dangerous."

You contemplated it. You didn't say a thing for a long while and Lockwood was on the verge of breaking down when you had spun to face him, finally abandoning the box.

"Come with me then."

His blood stopped running for a second. "Come again?"

You rolled your eyes and Lockwood knew he's in way too deep because he thought you look pretty doing something as simple as that.

"Stay the night with me one time, so you know I'm safe." You stared at him, waiting for an answer.

He didn't know what to think. When you say it like that, he felt like he wouldn't be able to talk you out of it. You leaving felt more real then, and he was terrified of it.

"Oh . . . Okay."

"Okay," you repeated, giving him a smile.

He tried to return it but it lacked conviction. He couldn't feel his face when dread was nagging at him.

—

Your not-yet new place wasn't Portland Row. Perhaps that was enough reason to dislike it, or maybe it was the fact that this place was taking you away from home.

No, it was definitively he guy who emerged from the third door in the flat. The other two doors were your soon-to-be room and the shared bathroom.

Lockwood shared a bathroom with George, so, it was serious when he got the feeling that sharing a bathroom with Guy was worse.

Guy introduced himself as Leo. You greeted him with a pleasant smile but all Lockwood could think of was that Leo wasn't a name, it was a star sign.

"You'll be staying the night then?" Leo inquired. He wasn't doing anything malicious yet Lockwood felt the urge to size him up. Lockwood was tall on his own, he was intimidating when he wanted to be. Leo wasn't sure what to do with him standing behind you like an oversized guard dog.

"Yeah, just to get the feel of things," you replied. You had given Lockwood mercy when you unlocked the door and pushed it open.

He caught a glimpse of... absolutely nothing. There was a mattress on the floor but Leo didn't even have the courtesy of dressing it up with a bedspread. He wished you turned around and booked it then, but you simply gave a gentle smile and accepted it.

"Kay..." Leo said slowly. "I have an outing with friends so you have the whole place to yourself. Just remember to lock the front door properly. It doesn't click into place sometimes."

"Got it, thanks."

Leo gave you a copy of the keys and went on his merry way, actively avoiding Lockwood's pointed stare on the way out.

Being alone with Lockwood had thawed you. You laxed your shoulders and dropped your make-believe smile before grumbling at the sorry excuse of the bed you had for the night.

"Not what I expected it to be... I thought we could make it a sleepover or something but that is just sad."

"Very," Lockwood agreed. He closed the door to your room for the time being, saving both of you the trouble of agonizing over it. "Shall we head home then?"

"We're staying the night," you reminded him, pressing your finger into his chest with every punctuated word. "Besides... maybe this place has something Portland Row doesn't."

"Which is?"

"I don't know yet. I said 'maybe'."

The corner of his lip quirked up.

He watched as you rounded to the kitchen. It was connected to the receiving room, separated by a thin island rowed with barstools. He didn't have to peek to know the fridge was empty, he had your deep-set frown to tell him.

With a smile, he offered: "Shall I phone our favorite place?"

You sighed in delight, giving him that smile that made him melt. "Yes, please."

—

The restaurant you favored was always on time, but the delivery man had gone to Portland Row by mistake (since it was the usual delivery when Anthony Lockwood called in.) He had to go back and ask for the address.

The sun was gone by the time food arrived to your not-yet flat.

"Thanks, mate. Get home safe," Lockwood bade the delivery boy before closing the door.

"Finally," you cheered, setting out the table. Thankfully, Leo had the mind to keep plates, cups, and cutlery on hand. "I'm starving."

"You and me both," he grinned.

Together, you divided the dishes evently (Lockwood sliding two more dumplings onto your plate, simply because he knew you liked them) and filled the cups with tea. The light above the island was pitiful but it framed you in a nice, yellow glow.

His cheeks were full and you were stuffing your face, but the setting was so domestic he couldn't help but indulge himself. If only you two were at home, in Portland Row; that would have made this perfect.

After you had filled your bellies and washed down your food, Lockwood cleaned the table while you got started on the dishes.

"I... kind of miss home," you admitted.

Even when your backs were facing each other, Lockwood knew you were frowning. "We can go home now, if you want."

Silence.

He hoped you would agree, relent, and stay with him at Portland Row, but his hopes died when you let out a sigh. He chanced a glance at you and found you shaking your head. "Just for the night," you said, more so to convince yourself.

His heart deflated but Lockwood would follow you to the ends of the earth, so he just agreed and stayed silent.

Once he had finished cleaning up his side of the kitchen, he dropped the cloth beside the sink and, for whatever reason, trapped you between his arms while he reached over to wash his hands.

You had forgotten how to breath. Rightfully so. You were transported back to the morning you felt his warmth on your back. He had reached for something because you couldn't, he had noticed your red eyes when no one else did.

You were glad he couldn't see your face. You felt heat behind your eyes and a tightness in your throat. It occured to you that if you moved in with Leo, there would be no more of Lockwood's quiet moments of attention.

Getting away from him was the point of you moving away, but with that reality being so close, it hit you.

You would miss him terribly, you would miss the Lockwood & Co. family terribly. The question of 'was it worth the pain of staying?' haunted you at night. You would die for them, but it hurt so bad being the odd-man out for the rest of your life. And maybe you were overestimating how much they needed you around because they didn't need you at all, did they?

Your mind went blank when Lockwood backed away. The tears fell but you kept your head bowed to hide them.

There was an air of suffocating peace when Lockwood said, "I'll go look for a bedsheet."

"Okay," you uttered.

As he walked away, his footsteps rang out in your ears; Footsteps you've grown accustomed to because he would sneak into the library at ungodly hours, thinking everyone was asleep. Not you, at least.

He wasn't doing anything special but it quieted the pandemonium behind your eyes.

—

You had spent an extra few minutes in the restroom before you got around to washing your face. When you had arrived to the room, Lockwood had used a throw blanket from the receiving room couch as a bedsheet. He laid on his back, one arm on his stomach and the other splayed out to your side of the bed. His coat was shrugged off his shoulder and sprawled over his torso.

He raised his head when you entered. "Hi, love."

"Hello," you greeted with a small smile. You had to bend your knees to sit at the end of the bed.

You were reaching for your skincare before Lockwood sat up and seized your wrist. He was always gentle with you. That didn't stop you from burning it into your memory. You looked at him with a question in your eyes.

He held up two thin packages to answer you. "Face masks. You said we could have a sleepover situation, didn't you?"

You suppressed a laugh as you examined the packaging. He got collagen masks, from your favorite brand. Did he know that? You couldn't be sure. "Where did you get these?"

"From my bag?"

"I meant where you bought them," you nipped. "and since when were you into stuff like this?"

"I got them from store you told me about," he answered, leaning back on his elbows. "and I've been a regular customer since you told me my whiteheads could rival a strawberry's. It hurt my feelings."

"I'm sorry, you big baby," you snort, reaching out to pinch his cheek. He doesn't even fight it. "but it was true! And your skin looks so much better now. What else have you been using?"

He laid back fully, propping his arms behind his head. "I got that matcha cleanser you kept raving about, a PH-balanced toner... Oh! And that sunscreen you recommended me that one time."

You nodded, impressed by his dedication. "You look so much prettier now thanks to me."

"I know," he smiled. "Now are we going to do the masks or am I do I have to jump out this window and wrestle a ghost for some entertainment?"

You chuckle, patting his chest to pacify him. "We're doing the masks."

After a bit of trying to get the masks on right, failing, laughing at each other, then helping each other get them on right; you both laid back. Lockwood pillowed your head with his arm and blanketed your tummy with his coat.

The masks had to be left on for 20 minutes and what better way to pass the time than talk each other through existential crisis?

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Lockwood & Co. has done so much for people. You got commendation from Penelope Fittes! That's worth something, you know."

"I know that. I just can't help but feel like... I haven't done enough," the admission is like a weight off his shoulders. "People don't really crowd to be part of Lockwood & Co."

You turned your head, looking quite freaky with the paste-white mask. Then he sees your faultless eyes through the gaps and he falls all over again. "Well, you have so much life ahead of you to do more. The agency's impact on the world can't be ignored though, Lockwood. You've serviced a plethora of people from all walks of life. And for what it's worth, I want to be part of Lockwood & Co."

A disbelieving expression crossed his face. "Really now?"

You nodded then returned your eyes to the ceiling. You felt too vulnerable to admit it to his face. "I'm jealous that Lucy and George are fully capable agents. I love them, don't get me wrong, but I feel so inferior. I don't even have a choice to be part of that world."

"What are you talking about? You are part of that world. You're part of our world." He nudged your side. "You are part of Lockwood & Co., love. You always have been, ever since you stepped through the door."

"Yeah? Well... not in the way they are. They have talent. I can just wish I could help," you sighed.

He took a moment to think then he turned his head to you. "How about this; you can help us do research. I know it's not as snazzy as swinging a rapier but it's a pivotal part of our operations."

Your brows furrowed. "Really? You'd let me do that?"

"I would have invited sooner you if I knew you were eager to help," he replied. You weren't looking at his face but you knew he was smiling. "Only part-time though. You have a talent for what you do now."

"Thank you," you said, but he got the feeling that you didn't believe it.

"I mean it," he insisted. He pinched the coat that was draped over you. "This coat you made me; people will be fighting for a design just like it within the first year of opening your boutique. Mark my words."

"I won't give it to them," you replied. "this coat is one of a kind."

"How generous of you, but it would be a bad business decision to deprive the fine people of a coat as refined as this one."

"No," you chuckle. "I mean, this coat is really one of a kind." You flipped the collar of the coat over. Lockwood hadn't seen it before, but be saw it then. "See?" And see he did.

His initials and surname were embroidered on so carefully that it took the breath from his lungs. That wasn't all. Beside his name was a cheeky embroidered imitation of his favorite giraffe mobile and a little image of his rapier.

"It was a pain to do so I won't be doing it for anyone else," you told him, like you hadn't just put the stars in his sky. "Your coat is my magnum opus."

"Oh," he whispered, running his fingers over the threads. "Now I feel bad. Plasma burned part of it."

"I'll make you a new one in a year, maybe." You pinch his side. "Keep it in one piece until then, okay?"

"Okay..."

"And don't tell people about the embroidery," you said sternly. "I'm not made for it, and my fingers still hurt from trying."

"I promise," he chuckled. He lied. He would have to boast about it to Lucy and George. Maybe even Kipps, if he pissed him off enough.

"We still have about ten minutes before we take the masks off. Tell me a story," you requested.

"Bossy," he smirked.

"Story, please," you rectified.

He conceded. He thought about which story to tell you before settling with the original Beauty and the Beast. You scooted closer with every word he said.

"Beast is much nicer in this version," you said, stifling a yawn behind your palm. Lockwood's arm was going numb but he didn't have to heart to move when you were already so comfortable.

"Asking her to marry him every night when she's trapped in his castle is nice?"

"Consent is key," you retort. Your voice slurred off at the end. When your breathing evened, he knew you had fallen asleep.

He tried not to be endeared, but you had cuddled into his side. Your fingers found his shirt and clutched it like it was your lifeline. The best he could do was smile to keep the urge to scream in.

When the time for your masks were up, he peeled away your mask and then his, tossing them aside then readjusted the coat to cover you fully.

He did his best to refrain himself, but he was never good at that when it came to you. He dipped his head to allow himself a kiss to the crown of yours.

—

You two (read: he bent to your will) decided to walk home.

The morning was sunny and the breeze was friendly, you couldn't resist a little fresh air and the perfect excuse to hold hands with Lockwood. In your defense, he was the one who offered. "I steer, you relax," is what he said.

So, you let your mind wander as he steered you in the right direction. He gave your hand little tug when you two were about to turn a corner, tapped on your knuckles when waiting to cross the street, and, sometimes, surprising you with a cheeky pinch to your side when you weren't paying attention. There were so many smiles exchanged, you weren't sure who was enjoying the walk more.

Disappointment began to swim in your belly as Arif's came into view. Just a bit more and you'd have to let go.

Again, Lockwood demonstrated his scary ability to know what you were thinking. Instead of walking passed Arif's, he walked you right into it. He held the door for you and flourished his hand quite dramatically, too. "Ladies first."

"What a gentleman," you chuckled.

You wore matching smiles as the bell jingled above your heads and the aroma of fresh dough invaded your senses.

Lockwood reluctantly pulled away. "Go find a seat. I'll order."

You walked about, catching sight of a few couples who were out to enjoy the beautiful morning too, before settling down in a seat in the corner. It was a table for two and the wooden seats reminded you of home.

Lockwood didn't take too long himself. He found your table and set the goodies down. Your favorite doughnuts were a staple, but he ordered a slice of rainbow cake, too.

You had a bite of doughnut before asking about it.

"For you," he said, pushing the cake in your direction. "Consider it a parting gift."

Parting was easier said than done. In lieu of last night's events, you couldn't imagine leaving Portland Row for the lifeless flat. The only reason you had been able to sleep was because Lockwood was there—and he was Lockwood, no explanation needed. You'd rather feel like the odd one out and bask in the occasional warmth of Anthony Lockwood than be a lonely tenant in Leo's flat.

With a smile, you pushed the plate away. "No, thank you."

His lips twitched, holding back the beginning of a smile. "Oh, come on. Take it."

You shook your head, a smile forming on your face. "You have it. Congratulations on hiring the best part-time researcher in London."

He discarded decorum by propping his elbows on the table. "Will this part-time researcher stay in Portland Row?"

"Maybe," you quipped.

"You torture me," he groaned, setting his head on the table.

"As if 'in Portland Row — no where else' is subtle."

"I tried to be," he defended indignantly.

"I could forget about it, if..."

He raises his head, anticipation written on his face. "If...?"

"If you get me that coffee you promised me when we met. You haven't fulfilled that promise yet, and it's been a year."

He placed a hand on his heart, mouth falling open as he feigned being shot. "How cruel of me. Will you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

"Coffee first," you tutted.

"Coffee first," he promised, recovered from the make-believe bullet.

For the final stretch, Lockwood dragged his feet and on purpose. He pretended not to know which house was his (even if it was infamously the last one on the street,) and even stopped and stared for a few infuriating moments to bide his time.

"That isn't our door, love."

"Your name plaque is right there, Anthony, you can't fool me this time."

"Really? Perhaps we should visit the opthalmologist then, I can't read it. The doctor's is that way."

"Lockwood..."

"Okay, fine." He conceded, letting you pull him along.

You got as far as the first step before he had tugged you back, hard. The momentum had sent you into his chest. "Oh, for goodness sake—"

"You're cute when you're mad," he smiled. His gaze dipped down to your lips, successfully making your breath hitch. "Consent is key, right?" You're thouroughly convinced that he picked that moment to swipe his tongue across his bottom lip and rile you up. "May I?"

It felt like you were using the last of your air and patience as you whispered, "You may."

Patience was thrown to the wind. He dipped you—like in those corny movies you swore you hate—and kissed you like his life depended on it.

It wasn't a life changing kiss. It was how much you'd been anticipating it that made it feel like a life changing kiss. He smiled against your lips and you couldn't help but laugh into his. You could hear the applause in your head, resounding and drumming the beat of your heart. There was hollering, too. It kind of sounded like—

You pulled away reluctantly. You had to place your hand between you because Lockwood had chased your lips.

Still dipped in Lockwood's hold, you recognized Lucy and George even if they were flipped in your vision and still in their pajamas. Their applause died down slowly.

"Uh-oh," George said seriously. "we've been caught, Luce."

"Oh, my, my, my," she played along, smile turning the right way as Lockwood pulled you up and oriented you properly.

His smile was bright, so you hadn't a clue whether he'd done it on purpose. You had a hunch though. You were just about ready to reprimand him, but he'd stolen the words from your lips by stealing another cheeky kiss.

There was no use holding back your smile when you felt him smiling against you again. You would have do deal with shennanigans just like this as a, now, permanent resident of 35 Portland Row.

Caution: Anthony Lockwood's magnetic field is too strong, and he clearly had a new addiction to your lips.

NOTE ➺ something has possessed me. i have never written this much back-to-back. if you're in the middle of a lockwood brain rot too, i've posted a few other fics you might like.

please don't be shy to reblog or share your thoughts in the comments! the world needs a little more anthony lockwood.

(my favorite fic writer also noticed me so i'm in my giggly girl era eeeee—)

⌠ @novelizt 2023 ⌡

[swiftllama]

January Compliments ☀️🔍

[Compliments Masterlist]

Hello everyone and welcome to the first Compliments Post of 2024! Hope the year has started off well for you all, and if not, then I hope this post can at least provide a little bit of joy to your day 🫶

We may be only one month in but the boys have been delivering since the very first day 🙌 So let’s get into it shall we! :-

January 2024

Ian’s 2023 Wrap Up

So to start us off, first day of the year and Mr Sunshine was already tugging at our heartstrings with his wrap up of 2023, and who made his 2023 what it was? Well Anthony of course 🥹

STOP IT! RIGHT NOW! 😩

LIKE WHAT IS THIS??? IM MEANT TO COPE WITH THIS??? HOW???

The fact the WHOLE post is Anthony - from the photos to the caption! EVERY SINGLE PHOTO HAS ANTHONY 😭 Also don’t even get me started on the two unseen photos and the fact they’ve been kept from us till now. How dare 😤 AND the fact the first person he thanked was Anthony! Like yes he’s thanking and appreciating many people with this post but come on now, from the pictures alone it’s clear who made his year. This is just SO SPECIAL! Especially coming from Ian, who isn’t normally a big one for sharing his emotions (I think we’ve seen a change with that recently though), but this is BIG!

Anthony also in return left a sweet comment :-

“proud of you buddy.”

CRYING 😭 They kill me these two, couldn’t even go one day without being sappy to each other - not that I’m complaining. And as much as I would love to just sit here in this gooeyness, we’ve got a lot to get through so I must move on 🥲

LEGEND OF ZELDA RAP (Flashback)

So they reacted to the classic Legend Of Zelda Rap in this Flashback eps and got a few little compliments thrown in :-

-

[discussing the scene of Ian dressed as Link winking at the camera that spawned a viral gif]

Anthony: “That for some reason was a clip that went viral- or a gif that went viral.”

Ian: “Yeah, it’s like horny posters.”

Anthony: “Yeah.”

Ian: “Yeah.”

Anthony: “I see it way too much.”

[shoutout editor Kortney for this 😆]

Ian: “Gotta say, never looked better.”

Anthony: “That’s true.”

Anthony agrees 😏

-

Erin: [asking Ian if he had spicy time in the Link outfit like Anthony said about the Assassin’s Creed outfit in their 2 Truths 1 Lie eps]

Ian: “I did not have spicy time in the Link outfit because that outfit was very tight, there was not much of a range of motion in it.”

Anthony: “Right. Well you could be a pillow princess in that.”

Ian: “I’m not a pillow princess.”

Anthony: “Oh really?”

Ian: “Yeah.”

Anthony: “I’ve heard otherwise.”

[look at each other and Anthony laughs]

Ian: “Oh yeah, cause canonically we had sex for seven years.”

Anthony: [laughs] “In the Food Battle lore.”

Ian: “Yeah. Canonically in Food Battle, we’ve had sex for seven years. You know every crevice of my body.”

Anthony: “Of your anatomy.”

Ian: “Yeah.”

Anthony: “Anywho…”

Ian: “Wow, this went a weird place.”

Anthony: “Back to looking at Link in his prime.”

Ian: “Back to me looking freakin’ HAWT.”

Anthony: “Yeah.”

Just them casually discussing the fact they’ve canonically had sex for 7 years and then Anthony once again agreeing Ian looked hot in the Link outfit… I don’t think I even need to say anything.

-

Anthony: “Oh! And I just want to give a shoutout to myself.”

Ian: “Oh, [sings] shoutout to myself.”

Anthony: “I painstakingly added those fucking stars [in the scene] for some reason. I thought they were so necessary.”

Ian: “Yeah, no, that was sick.”

Ian giving Anthony a little compliment for his hard work 😊

…

Speaking of the stars it was also something Ian brought up again later when they appeared in the video again :-

Ian: “Stars. Stars.”

Anthony: “Oh yeah. Stars. We got ‘em in there.”

Very cute how he wanted to shoutout Anthony’s work again ☺️

-

Erin: “That’s Anthony?! [as Ganondorf]”

Ian: “Yeah.”

Anthony: “Shut up. You knew that was me.”

Erin: “That’s crazy.”

Ian: “You didn’t know that was Anthony?”

Erin: “Where’d your, like, jaw go?”

Ian: “What do you mean? He’s got an epic jaw.”

Ian got so defensive on Anthony’s behalf here, I love it! Reminded me of the moments from Who Meme’d It when Anthony was defending Ian 😌

And that was us for this video!

Moving on…

SOUP!

Gets a big title cause why not!

But yes, soup! So Ian has gotten into making soup this year and on that same Friday we got the Flashback, that evening we were blessed out of nowhere with these stories :-

THE WAY I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THESE 😩

Like this is the cutest, most domesticated shit ever! They kill me!!!!

And okay yes when that first photo was posted I thought Ian was right then and there cooking it for him, Ian then responded with this :-

Let me live in my fantasies Ian! 😤

But regardless of Mr dashing-my-dreams Hecox, I’m still of the mindset they were hanging out that day and that’s when Ian gave him the container of soup.

Evidence :-

This photo only. That I believe Anthony took 😌

Also I try not to make these posts too shipper-heavy so that everyone may enjoy them if they’re just here for the friendship alone, so I’ll just leave this other little post I made here about some other thoughts I had on this soup situation that isn’t in the friendship realm 🤭 All cool if that’s not for you though!

VidConfessions

So 7 months later Vidcon finally decided to post this little interview they had with them lol. And even with such a short video we still got a few complimentary/cute moments :-

-

So Anthony was being his usual self and finding Ian the funniest person alive as always. There was a couple moments where Ian gave his answers and you just hear Anthony’s laugh in the background 🥰

Q: What are the last three things you Googled?

Ian: “Jared Leto cult…”

He’s a cutie ☺️

…

And it happened again!

Q: What’s the cringest thing you’ve ever done for views?

Ian: “I mean like our whole channel’s cringe.”

Anthony, once again: [laughing in the background]

Love him and how much he loves Ian and his humour 😊

-

This was just one wee last bit I thought was cute :-

Ian: [signing out the video] “This has been Ian from Smosh, that’s right, the channel that is 17 and a half years old that’s doing sketch comedy again with my best friend Anthony.”

Can never resist them calling each other ‘best friend’ so of course had to include it!

Making of Pokémon In Real Life 2024

So they brought back the classic Pokémon In Real Life sketch, and from that obviously we got the BTS. Only a couple little moments from this one but just wanted to include them cause they were silly 🤓

-

Ian: [sneezes] “Sorry. Your hairspray.”

Anthony: “Ohhh… he’s allergic to me [smirks].”

👀 Don’t know what that was about but alrighty, Anthony…

-

Ian: [cuts his finger and there’s a dot of blood]

Anthony: “Oh my god, dude. Are you okay?”

Ian: “No, I’m not okay. Trigger warning gore.”

Anthony: “Do you need someone to suck out the blood?”

Why did this just turn into Saltburn? Don’t know what Anthony was on with the these two moments but I won’t question it 😝 And despite saying ‘someone’, he was definitely offering to suck the blood from Ian’s finger himself 🤭

Pokémon In Real Life 2024 Watch Party

Of course with the sketch and BTS we got a livestream, which gave us some cute and complimentary moments 😊

To kick off this livestream I just wanna point out that they were wearing matching colours with Anthony’s jacket and Ian’s hoodie, plus matching Smosh Pokémon hats which is very cute 😊

-

Ian: [apologising for getting annoyed in the BTS due to the background noise messing up their filming] “Dude, this video. This Pokémon video. I apologise if I looked very angry in the behind the scenes.”

Anthony: [laughs] “You didn’t look that bad. Honestly, it amped up accurately.”

Erin: “The compilation of you getting angry, it was pretty funny.”

Anthony: Yeah, so it was justified. People knew why you were angry.”

Love the reassurance from Anthony here so that Ian isn’t worried about how he came across in the video.

-

[take their hats off]

Ian: “How’s my hair? Is it weird?”

Anthony: “Is mine weird? Yours is fine.”

Ian: “No, I feel like yours is like, yours has like a messy chic to it, you know.”

Them just complimenting each other’s hair - here for it! Also Ian’s added compliment of “messy chic” 😄

-

[playing Pokémon quiz]

I&A: “Jinx.”

Crew: [laughs]

Anthony: [smiles and points to Ian] “Jinx.”

Ian: “That’s our favourite. Favourite Pokémon.”

Funny because it’s both the Pokémon’s name and they said it at the same time 😝 Cute how Ian also got in that that’s their favourite ☺️

-

[complete the quiz]

Anthony: “Dude, 100 percent, bro.”

I&A: [high-five]

Of course always gotta include the highfives 😌

-

After the quiz they go on to play a Pikachu x Sonic crossover. Anthony plays a round and then Ian goes to play but can’t get the controls to work for him so Anthony’s showing him what to do 🥹 I don’t feel the need to include what they said here as it’s just Anthony saying what buttons to push but just wanted to include a little description of what was happening at this moment 😊

-

Ian: [completes the game]

Anthony: “You won the game.” [clapping]

Just another little cute moment I wanted to include of Anthony clapping for Ian 🙂

-

[playing Pokémon Among Us]

Anthony: [playing the game well]

Ian: “Alright, I hate that you’re like kind of eating.” [as Ian kept dying]

A begrudging little compliment from Ian there 😄

-

[signing the livestream off]

Ian: “Happy New Year, hope the holidays were a fun time for you and you had some eggnog and sat by the campfire…”

Anthony: “Roasting chestnuts.”

Ian: “Roasting chestnuts.”

Anthony: “Or chestnut. I’m not making any assumptions.”

Ian: “….What?”

Anthony: “Just if they don’t have more than one chestnut.”

Ian: “Ohh, okay. I don’t know if you could buy a singular chestnut but…”

Anthony: “I think there’s a way.”

Ian: “Go off king.”

Just a silly little one to end on because I wanted to include Ian calling Anthony ‘king’ 🤭

Can I Guess Who Slapped Me?

So the video of Anthony getting slapped finally dropped! And it was everything and more, especially when it came to moments between Ian and Anthony so let’s jump right in :-

-

Right off the bat we had this as the description for Ian…

👀👀👀

Now onto the actual slapping…

-

The moment that got us all was just before Ian slaps him he slowly started caressing Anthony’s face so obviously that had us all going crazy! Including the cast and crew!

Anthony: [after the slap] “Oh. Wow. Uhhh, this person thinks they’re hilarious.” [laughs]

Cast & Crew: [laughing]

Ian: [Trying not to laugh]

Anthony: “Uhhh, who would do that? Who would caress my face and slap me out of nowhere?”

Ian: [boops Anthony’s nose]

Anthony: “Uh, it feels like an Ian move to me… Did you just boop me? Um, that feels like an Ian move.”

Kiana: “That is correct.”

Everyone: [celebrating and applauding]

Anthony: [puts his hands out and Ian high-fives him]

Angela: “Friendship always wins!”

Ian: “Well done. Well done. Good job to you.”

Anthony: [bowing]

Ian: “There we go. There we go. That’s the only one you truly needed to get right.”

Anthony: [laughs]

So true Ian! That was the most important one he needed to get right! And I just want to point out how Ian was only the 3rd person Anthony got right, and of course he knew it was him right away with his cheeky little joke of “this person thinks they’re hilarious” 😝 he knew the second Ian caressed his face that it was him cause they truly just know each other that well ☺️ Live for Angela yelling “Friendship always wins!” after he got it right too! And can we also talk about the totally unnecessary, but very, very cute little nose boop Ian threw in there just cause he wanted to! Obsessed!

-

A little bit later in the video during Duran’s round of slapping Anthony another little moment happened that I just wanted to include cause I thought that it was funny and showed how silly of a mood Ian was in, I think Anthony being blindfolded was playing a part in that and he gained a little extra layer of confidence to just fuck about with Anthony 😆

Anthony: [standing with his butt pushed out waiting to be slapped]

Kiana: “The stance is great. The stance is great.”

Ian: [runs over and pretends to go in to slap Anthony’s butt]

Anthony: “Why’s there wind?”

Cast & Crew: [laugh]

Hehe 🤭

Anyways! That was it for the slapping video but I did also want to include something that came off the back of it and that was…

Bonus

Anthony dedicating a whole Instagram post to Ian slapping him :-

Obessed with this though! The fact he went out of his way to make a post specifically about Ian slapping him over anyone else, plus that caption! ‘only ian would slap me like that’ - truly the cherry on top of it all 😌

Jacksfilms Confesses His Biggest Regret

So they had Jacksfilms on as a guest for Flashback to react to some of his old videos and an old collab of his the boys had been a part of.

-

Jack: [talking about how he moved to LA after he graduated] “…And that’s when I started collaborating with some, then, very big YouTube channels.”

Anthony: [looks at Ian] “Yeah, back then we were big.” [elbows Ian and Ian elbows him back]

Them just being silly 😄 loved the little elbowing of each other too 😊

-

Jack: “I remember I was in college, I was like out hanging with my friends. I just got 50,000 subs on YouTube, baby. And one of my friends just like took the air right out of my tire, or sails, whatever, and was like ‘Uh, yeah, did you know that Smosh has like a million now?’.”

Ian: “Pffft.”

Anthony: [silent laughs] “Noice!” [high-fives Ian] “Noice!”

Again, just more of them being silly. Plus high-five!

-

I should have mentioned at the start of this section that Ian is in a tshirt-dress for this video as a reference to Jack as it’s got tweets of his printed on it. Anyway, as a result his legs are out obviously, and that’s relevant to this next part :-

Anthony: [talking about how there’s always an audience for every kind of content, it’s just about what kind of audience you want to have]

Ian: “That’s true. And you want this audience.” [pointing to show off his legs]

Anthony: “You want this.”

Ian: “You want the audience that accepts this.”

Anthony: “This is what you want. This is the audience that we have. And we are very happy with this audience.”

Ian: “Exactly.”

Anthony: “They’ve been begging for this.”

And we’re more than happy to be the audience for it! 😌 (As is Anthony considering how many times he was checking out Ian’s legs during this video 😉)

Anthony also had this to say about YouTube’s hate for Ian’s attire 😤

-

Jack: [talking about a sponsorship he done with other youtubers to test out a new workout program]

Ian: “Did you get Jaaaacked?”

Anthony: [looks at Ian with a smirk and high-fives him]

Second high-five for this video! Also Anthony just quietly complimenting Ian’s pun 😄

-

Ian: “Do you [Jack] have any regrets? Any videos that you regret making?” [smiling]

Anthony: “You look so happy saying that.” [smiling] “This is happiest I’ve seen you all episode.” [laughs]

Just thought it was cute how Anthony seeing Ian smiling made him smile and laugh 😊

And that was it for another Flashback!

No1 Ian Fan Strikes Again

So Anthony was back at it! The Smosh team was out celebrating one of the crews birthday - Erin posted this to her story. Now I’m sure there were probably multiple photos and videos taken this night but what was the only thing Anthony shared from it? That’s right! Ian of course!

He’s obsessed with that boy and I love it! 😌

Ian also reshared and replied to Anthony’s story which you can find here

Making Of “MrBeast Copycats Have Gone Too Far”

So the BTS of the MrBeast Copycats Have Gone Too Far sketch offered us a few little moments :-

-

So this seemed to be a very high-five, hand-hold heavy BTS. Think they were just in one of those moods where they want any excuse to touch each other 🤭😉

[Finishing off their little video introduction]

Anthony: [goes in to high-five Ian and grips his hand]

Ian: [high-fives Anthony back and also grips his hand in response]

I&A: [still holding each other’s hands] “Let’s go shoot this shit!”

-

Ian: [messing up his line] “I’m having a trouble! I’m having a trouble…” [facepalms]

Shayne: “That’s so funny. ‘I’m having a trouble’.”

Anthony and Courtney: [laughing]

Anthony: [to Ian] “Are you having a trouble?” [puts hand on Ian’s shoulder]

Ian: “I’m having a trouble. Words.”

Anthony: [laughs]

I know they were (lovingly) poking fun at Ian here, but the wee glimpse of the shoulder touch from Anthony to Ian is what got me ☺️

-

I&A: [In character but joking around]

Ian: “There’s a twist. There’s a twist.” [puts hand out to Anthony] “There’s a twist.”

Anthony: “There’s a twist.” [takes Ian’s hand and grips it]

I&A: [still holding hands whilst lightly pushing/tapping each other and repeating “there’s a twist”. They then start scissoring their fingers together, before gripping each other’s fingers and pulling the other in closer to them whilst now repeating “getting twisted” and manically laughing]

Well… that was… something… 👀

Told you they were just looking for any excuse to touch each other. But hey, wouldn’t be a Smosh BTS if Ian and Anthony weren’t flirting with each other 😜

-

And to finish off this high-five heavy BTS, I’ll leave you with this :-

Ian: [talking about how Anthony injured himself by dropping a laptop on his foot and how he should take an Advil but Anthony doesn’t take Advil so he doesn’t know if it’ll help]

Anthony: “I don’t care about the pain, I just want the throbbing to stop.”

Ian: “He doesn’t like throbbing.”

Anthony: “I don’t like throbbing. I like pulsating.”

Ian: [laughs] “I hate both of those words.”

Anthony: [laughs] “Yeah, usually I say throbbing or pulsating member…”

Ian: [acting disgusted]

Anthony: “Speaking of members thank you so much being a Smoshtastic or Smosh Royalty member!”

Ian: “Yeah! Thanks for being our throbbing members.” [laughs]

Anthony: “Our pulsating members.”

Ian: “Yeahhh, throbbing members.”

I&A: [high-five]

Um… thanks boys, I guess… happy to be a throbbing and pulsating member… 🥴🤦‍♀️ They high-fived so I had to include it, don’t blame me for what they said! 😩

-

And on that’s note that brings us to the end of January! Hope you all enjoyed reading - I’d say it was a very good start to the year in terms of content, and the boys very much delivered in terms of complimentary moments so can’t complain 😌

Thank you all again for reading and I shall see you next time! 💖

[chobani-flip]

the disconnect between the storytelling of the show and of the fandom

lately, I've been thinking about storytelling and storytellers in the context of 911.

like, there's two sides to this storytelling business, right?

there's the small group writers and showcreators who have an idea for the characters and plots and have to come up with a way to share those ideas within the constraints of a network television series

and then there's us, a massive international community with a wide-range of life experiences, who watch their show and then go on to tell our own story about it.

and i wonder if we're always watching the story they're telling.

im not even necessarily talking about the buddie goggles right now.

what got me thinking about this was ana flores.

and the one scene the fandom likes to pretend sealed her fate (when in actuality, let's be quite candid, it was the fact that she was a beautiful woman who dared to date eddie instead of allowing him to remain a viable option for canonical/fanonical offscreen cannoodling with buck)

"there's a lot to be said for getting back on the horse, but there's also some value in learning that you don't like horses." eddie: "i'm sorry?" "sometimes, our limitations tell us when to stop. but sometimes, they can show us where to look next." (romantic, feelingsy song starts playing) "today, he falls off the skateboard. but tomorrow, he writes the great american novel."

see, the problem here is that this is CLEARLY meant to be viewed as wise and deep advice. as a moment of connection between ana and eddie... the way the scene is cut, the music that plays in the background, the intense eye-contact between the two characters, the way eddie reacts to her words... we're meant to enjoy the simmering tension and potential between them...

but... it's not great and deep advice, not really. it's been pointed out that it comes off as ableist. and ana is supposed to be a teacher at this excellent inclusive institution; she is meant to have experience with children of different abilities feeling frustrated and wanting to do the same things other children are doing... someone on here pointed out that if they were the teacher, they would seek to understand what need christopher was trying to fullfil by getting on the skateboard and help him achieve it by other means

but what ana comes up with is this awkward horse metaphor that doesn't really make sense for the situation, and a condescending: "awwww, well, im sure he's the next hemingway"

BUT SEE, THAT'S NOT THE STORY THE SHOW IS TELLING US. the show is ostensibly framing this scene as romantic and great and deep. and that is NOT ana's fault. the character of ana didn't travel to our reality, didn't block the scene, didn't cut it and add the soundtrack. that's on the showcreators.

but somehow, it's really difficult for us to see it that way when it comes to ana.

in a way that it's not when it comes to Hen, poor little Mara and the Doberman.

because we know Hen and Karen, and we like them.

so we awkwardly shuffle around, side-eyeing each other, quietly nudging each other and going: "bit of a fail that, huh? kinda a weird thing to do on the part of the show, huh? comparing a little Black girl to a dog...why did they do that???"

or there was an excellent post floating around about whether Buck and Eddie realize they can say no to sex, that their consent matters.

"what if i come home and she wants to haaaaaave..." "well, you'll get through it somehow," says buck with an amused grin on his face.

see, the problem isn't necessarily whether the characters know that their consent matters, but whether the showcreators do. because this is clearly meant to be viewed as a joke.

eddie is a macho guy, who tends to keep his cool in difficult situations, so it's funny when you see him freaking out over the fact that his girlfriend wants to have sex with him and he doesn't want to have sex with her because her former chosen-profession taps into his well of Messy Catholic Feelings.

isn't it? isn't that just fucking hilarious?

and the answer to that is: no. it's not funny to any part of the audience who's ever felt pressured (by a partner, by society, by their own expectations) to want or to have sex.

but does the show realize that?

i'm sorry but i don't think so. this is the show that framed dr.wells sexually assaulting buck during a therapy session as a joke to casually bring up and needle him over later, that felt the need to reassure us that chimney and maddie can and do have wild, passionate monkey sex (you remember, albert teasing chim, then the hotel with the revolving room, etc), that had karen ask hen what the point of a relationship was if the couple weren't having sex...

now, i genuinely don't think the showcreators mean to be hurtful, or harmful. i don't think they realise how all these things come off. because they're a fairly small group of people from Los Angeles, North America, and are working within the constraints of a network television show

(and the point of the Eddie and Buck scene was Buck coming out to Eddie, so maybe they felt Buck saying: "you know, you can tell her you don't want to have sex, right? that's allowed." would fraction the focus of it? idk)

but what happens is that there's this disconnect between the story they're telling us and the story we continue to tell among ourselves.

when it comes to the characters we like, we tend to ignore the unpleasant meanings and messages in relation to the character, or we retcon it in fanfic, or we Fix-it with some heart-to-hearts and apologies.

(for example, i haven't seen many fics that show athena being a Cop as not-a-great-thing. but are we really ok with her saying "i wasn't on their side, but i understood their side." when her son expresses some reasonable dissatisfaction with her reaction to a cop pointing a gun at him and michael? or are we just ignoring it because we love angela bassett?)

when it comes to characters we are predisposed to dislike, this disconnect makes us dislike them even more. which leads to the writing of bashing fics, and in some cases harassing the performers online jfc do not do that people that's never ok

(of course, some characters are hated justifiedly imao, like the buckley parents and chimney's father...)

maybe this is the frustration that makes for such a prolific and active fandom?

I don't know.

but I think it's something to keep in mind when watching the show. because that disconnect is always going to be there and I know that for my own personal mental health, it's easier and nicer to believe that a group of RL people might sometimes be just a bit ignorant at times and write in weird shit unintentionally, than that my favourite characters are massive assholes unpredictably and randomly

[canonicallyobserving911]

WIP Wednesday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 18 will be posted soon.

Currently 17 chapters completed: 631.5K Words Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

____________

I'm excited to finish writing Chapter 18 because there's a lot happening as Buck and Eddie get closer to their secret wedding day.

For anyone who hasn't read Chapter 17, here's a brief overview: Eddie and Chimney were in an accident and as expected, Buck didn't take it well but he had Eddie's back like he said he would and he took care of everything. After almost two weeks, Buck finally received a response from his bio dad but it wasn't the type of response he expected and Chris asked Eddie what would happen to him if Eddie would have died in the accident. He told him about the legal guardianship and the fact that Buck's moving in but they didn't tell him the rest.

They'll tie the knot before Christmas 2023 but they are NOT getting married in the U.S. and they won't have a wedding ceremony until May 2024. They revealed their relationship, their engagement and the fact that they're going to Europe to their found family during the 118's Thanksgiving dinner but they didn't tell them everything. No one knows they're getting married in six weeks, not even Chris because they haven't told him yet.

Who are they going to reveal their relationship, engagement and European vacation to in Chapter 18?

___________

Here's a snippet from Chapter 18 of Buck and Eddie being romantically fluffy.

___________

It’s the morning of Thanksgiving Day and Buck’s the only one in the house who’s awake.  He’s staring at the ceiling and as he lightly traces his fingertips up and down Eddie’s back, he tries to calm his nerves as best he can.  He glances at the clock again, sees it’s 3:02AM and deeply inhales.

When he feels Eddie stir, he figures he felt him slightly move because he lifts his head and in his sleep laden voice, he asks, “What’s wrong?”

He kisses his forehead and replies, “Nothing, I’m ok.  Just go back to sleep and I’ll wake you up in a few hours”.

He knows something’s wrong because Buck’s awake at dark o’clock in the morning and he can tell by the sound of his voice that he’s been up for a while since he can’t hear the faint sound of a British accent when he talks like he usually does.

He runs his thumb over Buck’s bottom lip and whispers, “My love… I can’t go back to sleep because if you’re awake then I’m going to be awake too so… talk to me and tell me what’s wrong.”

He meets Eddie’s eyes and admits, “Honestly, I’m kind of nervous.  I just hope everyone else in your family likes me”.

He can see the trepidation behind those ocean blue eyes he loves so much and he can see the nervousness in his small smile.  He knows he’s serious about wanting all the Diazes to like him and he didn’t have to say a name for him to know who he meant when he said, “everyone else”.  He was talking about his mother since she walked out of Tia Pepa’s living room when they told her and Ramon they’re in a relationship and they’re engaged to be married.

His dad is happy for them and so are his sisters, his abuela and his aunt and they all said they had been waiting for the day when they would finally admit they’re in love.  Since they all saw it, he can’t understand why his mother didn’t or maybe refused to see it too.  His younger self would have cared but the man he is today doesn’t give a rat’s ass about what his mother thinks because his only concern is for his fiancé and their son.

“My dad, my sisters, my abuela and my aunt already love you.”  He places a soft kiss onto his chest and continues, “And the ones you’ll meet today are going to love you too”.

“I just wish… you were going to be there with me and Chris.  I—I mean I um… know you have to work and you’ll be there after your shift but babe… they’re your family and what—what if they don’t like me?”

“Not only will they like you; they're going to love you because I love you.  You’re mine and Chris’ family which means you’re already part of the Diaz family.  We’re just making everything official in 24 days when we get married and we become Mr. and Mr. Diaz.”  Eddie replies as he moves up so his face can be right in front of his fiancé’s.  He caresses his cheek then he leans in and places a gentle kiss onto his lips.

After they pull apart, Buck beams a big smile and says, “You’re biased because you love me”.

“You’re right I do and I’m also in love with you so I can afford to be biased.”  He replies with a big smile of his own then he kisses him again but this time, the kiss is long, deep and slow.  It’s syrupy sweet and filled with passion and flashes of their future as husbands.

Buck’s gasping and moaning like he can’t get enough and the truth is, he can’t. Eddie's his everything and whenever they kiss like they are right now with their tongues tangled and their bodies pressed together, it settles something deep inside of him.

What will happen at Tia Pepa's when Buck and Chris spend Thanksgiving Day with them while Eddie's at work?👀

___________

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant.  The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-17 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

Chapter 18 will be posted soon.

[buckactuallys]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @shitouttabuck @littlespoonevan @gracieryder and @rewritetheending, thanks friends!!

how many works do you have on ao3?

102

what’s your total ao3 wordcount?

971,053

what fandoms do you write for?

currently only 911, unless inspiration strikes elsewhere (like with the hsm fic i wrote last year)

top 5 fics by kudos:

good love grown you'll have what's meant to be my heart aches with love for you and longer by far darker days, brighter endings

do you respond to comments?

i do! i fall behind pretty often, but eventually i always catch up

what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm not really in the business of writing angsty endings, but i guess i sometimes write "open" endings for codas, in the sense that there's no resolution or get together because i'm keeping it canon compliant. the angstiest is probably when the weight we carry breaks us, simply because of eddie's state of mind just pre-breakdown

what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i've written so many incredibly sappy endings, i can't give a definite answer to this sdjgskj

do you get hate on fics?

not really. i've gotten a negative comment or two before but i guess you can't make everyone happy

do you write smut?

very occasionally

craziest crossover?

never written one!

have you ever had a fic stolen?

yeah, in a previous fandom someone posted one of my fics on wattpad without credit

have you ever had a fic translated?

a few times, yeah!

have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, none of my collabs with friends have ever made it out of the drafts at max, most stayed a conversation lmao

all time favorite ship?

maybe it's recency bias, but buddie

what’s a wip you want to finish but doubt that you will?

hm...there's the actors au, though i'm not even that sure i want to finish it anymore at this point

what are your writing strengths?

i think i'm decent at characterisation and dialogue?

what’s your writing weakness?

i feel like i could be more creative with my plots, and i definitely could be better at moving from one scene to another

thoughts on dialogue in a different language?

if it's used by someone who would use it in that situation and is correct, then yeah. unfortunately a lot of the time it seems to not be used like that

first fandom you wrote for?

...twilight, way back when, but those fics don't exist on the internet anymore

favorite fic you have written?

i think it's maybe we'll make something, i'm just really proud of it and i poured so much time and love and energy into it, i can't not love it. and then a random prompt fill that still makes me smile, might crash staring at you in the car

idk who hasn't done this yet but i tag @capseycartwright @hattalove @clusterbuck @bibibuck @oatflatwhite

@homerforsure @sibylsleaves @try-set-me-on-fire @mellaithwen and @bucktommys

[whatsyourcolor]

You know watching PPP has completely flipped my interpretation of PP3 and PPFI.I think I am having a delayed heartbreak.Before PPP I definitely saw their interactions at the end of PPFI as romantic/at least something that resembles more than a working relationship.But now with context it looks like two people who understands they have a different understanding of justice and decided to be amicable about it.Funnily enough I don’t think I would even call them friends at that point let alone possible romantic partners.It feels more like they have resigned themselves to the fact their ideals of justice would never converge.That’s a huge deal breaker for friendship let alone romance.The best possible scenario for me would be if they released ppp chronologically.That way I could save myself the massive heartbreak of PP3+PPFI.Also as much as I have tried I just can’t ignore the writers and director.I have always perceived Kougami and Akane as very romantic.The nature of their ideologies.The absolute trust they have in each other .Twin flames who just couldn’t be together because of circumstances of the society they live under.Now that I know as both evidenced by canon and cast interviews that they are supposed to be percieved as platonic work buddies who don’t see eye to eye and they’ll never fall in love I have to go back and reevaluate the entire understanding of their relationship,maybe even pp because pp to me has always meant Shinkane/Kouaka.I feel like I don’t even know the charecters anymore.I swear the loss of romance aspects don’t even bother me quite as much as them setting up Kougami as Akane’s ideological opponent/foil.For me it has always been Akane and Kougami vs Sybil/everything.But now they have turned the tables and the way it’s being set up Akane vs Kougami is going to be at least the secondary if not the main conflict of the series conclusion.Their conflict has been as unresolved as ever.They’ll be in the ideological opposition again.It hurts more than I ever imagined to put things into perspective.Of course they should tell the story they want to tell.But going forward I don’t think Kouaka is possible romantically in canon anymore(in their defence they told us point blank).In conclusion I feel bad about it but I am not sure if I can enjoy PP anymore because how do you reconcile two people who you percieved as soulmates ending up as opposition who will never meet in the middle?I can’t and it’s breaking my heart.Maybe someday I’d be able to be less bitter and more objective about the source material.But right now I can’t.I need to grieve.

I also feel like Akane is alone in her fight for justice and Kogami is constantly being proved right (explosions, fights, etc. No more literary Kogami). He was reduced to violence for violence’s sake.

I was thinking about what he said, that he agreed with Tonami, but that he believed in her because she’s always trying to do the right thing. I wish there was more of that. I wish he really tried to believe in her.

One of the novels, I remember, describes his arrival to SeaUN. There’s a part where people are celebrating in the distance and he asks why are they celebrating? And someone tells Kogami: “it’s the birth of a baby or a wedding.” He says something along the lines of “those are good things. Those are the things she fights for. I’ll fight for that too.” (It was @cleverwolfpoetry’s translation.) And I love that. That’s the Kogami that I absolutely adore.

Him training the guerrillas because these are oppressed people with clouded hues relegated to an inferior caste and with no power to fight back. Him fighting for the right for everyone to decide if they want a corporation like Sibyl to control their lives or not, which is the same thing Akane wants and was able to achieve after talking to Sibyl as Chairman Han. Maybe him being disappointed when people vote in favor of Sibyl. That’s Kogami.

Maybe he knows Akane is right, but her dreams are unattainable. The truth is somewhere between them two, but I don’t know if this is something they want to explore anymore in PP. It seems like their visions have become flat and one-dimensional at this point.

In S1, Kogami is a cynic but Akane reminds him of things worth fighting for. And Akane is naive but Kogami allows her to see beyond and look at evil in the face. Both things are necessary for a detective: protecting people and understanding that people can be evil. Kogami and Akane’s natures remain the same, but being able to understand the point of the view of the other is what made their relationship so beautiful.

I always said that the true resistance to a system like that would be to love each other. To say “fuck you” to the system. At this point both characters are distanced, disconnected. It’s like their relationship hasn’t evolved. I don’t know if what Akane did would make it evolve.

I just know that she’s the loneliest of characters and it seems like she’s leading that fight alone while everyone else is busy shooting each other or playing Machiavellian political games. If the writers are smart or if Urobuchi comes back (he won’t), they would show a real uprising caused by what Akane did. Maybe she’ll even be sacrificed.

She’s the one who’s always asking “what was I born for?” That question still hasn’t been answered. Seeing Kogami fight for her sake, for a better future, would be peak Kogami again.

One can dream…

That heartbreak you’re feeling I had it when I finished the mess that was S3. I don’t know why they went in the direction they went but I was so disappointed that I also grieved for a while. I guess that protected me from heartbreak watching PPP.

[outrunningthedark]

I can't wait for all the unhinged queerbaiting allegations that will inevitably come

I sympathize with those people, I really do (I think a lot of them are young enough that a m/m ship going canon feels like the "obvious" choice because TV has adapted over time), but they don't seem to understand that the only way to avoid the situation is to stop getting content altogether - on screen or off. "Well, if Tim or Kristen shut down the speculation at least we'd know." Kristen made it very clear that they were being written as good friends/their own little family in her two years as show runner and the two reactions were "wtf why is she so homophobic" or "CLEARLY she can't tell us what's really going on, so let's just wait for the truth" (and then that "truth" never came). Tim has been VERY respectful of Buddie fandom, going so far as to say he's had conversations with others about what story they're trying to tell. He KNOWS how much it would mean to a small percentage of the fan base for these two to be canon. The fact that it hasn't happened, or been suggested outside of fandom theories? Not on him. But he makes one comment about being accused of queerbaiting no matter what he does (accurate!) and suddenly there were blogs acting happy that Kristen had been given more control as if Tim taking a backseat meant Kristen could put her master plan in place. 😐 (She did. She gave them girlfriends again.)

The last thing I want to say about the queerbaiting accusations has irked me for a while. I get the disappointment in a queer ship not being canon. I get that the knee-jerk reaction can be to say a friendship "isn't the same" as the feeling you'd get from canonized romance. But if the show is writing a queer ship in a way that mimics the het ones, and that ship never goes canon...is it BAITING? Or is it a case of telling a queer love story without labeling anyone because that's the best they can do?

[inkdemonapologist]

I have this theory and I made a post about it but I love your Sammy stuff and consider you like a premiere expert so I'm genuinely curious.

Canonical after re-reading the books (and are they canon anymore LoL but). Did canon!Joey *know* Sammy was tripping the light fantastic on ink?

Like the passage where he tells buddy 'why please a man when you can please a god' seems to imply wet cat prophet man is pissed about Joey and feels let down -

And then *later* Joey's like 'Sammy lured them all down here...but I couldn't use them' and I'm like ho-shit did bro become the guy's Walter white

Also hi your art is amazing and if you have original work I would read instantly.

LMAO GOSH, thank you for the kind words!!! also golly gee THIS LINE FROM JOEY DRIVES ME NUTS because JOEY COME ON MAN TELL ME MORE!!!!

There’s several little things in the background that implies SOMETHING between these two but we don’t get to see it! Thomas surely reported Sammy’s weird behaviour to Joey like he said he would (Sammy did not make a compelling case for himself in their argument), but the ink doesn’t disappear from Sammy’s closet until weeks later, so did Joey like… know about it and his only response was “huh interesting, let’s see where he goes with this!” or did he just blow off Thomas’ warnings as unimportant b/c Sammy is his special perfect genius who can do whatever he wants, or what!!! Also the thing where Joey is the one who’s furiously interrogating everyone about Sammy’s whereabouts when he goes missing, before anyone else had even noticed he was gone, and Buddy thinks Joey’s emotion seems stronger than the situation warrants – so how intense was Joey being, for his upset at being unable to find the guy who writes ALL THE MUSIC to seem like an overreaction?

ANYWAY,

I don’t understand breaking bad references, but my interpretation tends to be that by the end of DCTL Sammy had snapped enough that Joey had no real power over him, and this is part of why Joey was so angry at Sammy’s disappearance – for once, Joey didn’t have control over him and didn’t know how to take control. I think Sammy’s accusation of “living your sad little lives to please Joey Drew” is projection – that’s what SAMMY had been doing in his 15+ years at the studio, and he now condemns it as pathetic. I don’t think he was willingly or knowingly aiding Joey at this point.

Joey, meanwhile, doesn’t seem to have a master plan so much as an ability to just… roll with whatever happens and make it work for him. He tells Buddy, simultaneously, that this was “meant to be” and “the plan all along,” but that he didn’t actually know what he wanted to do with Buddy until the moment he saw him in the demon’s jaws. So, like, this was just a lucky break for Joey, a moment where the right person just happened to be dead in front of him at just the right time for him to turn that person into a cartoon, and it worked out great!! He didn’t orchestrate this – it was a series of accidents that he retroactively decided was a plan. Joey Drew is an opportunist! And I think the fact that he didn’t find Norman and the others until after “the ink had infected them for days” points to the idea that Joey didn’t plan that either, since he didn’t find them until much later. My reading is that once Sammy started murdering people, instead of getting that under control, Joey just kind of followed him to see if he could take those lemons and make lemonade, so to speak.

That said, I like the idea that Joey knew; it was the first canon-adjacent thing I drew in this fandom! I don’t think they were in cahoots in canon, but it’s still an idea I’m really fond of. There are a lot of little things that could be used to suggest that Joey knew what was going on with Sammy and enabled it for whatever reason (my favourite evidence for this is still the “who does a god worship” convo in The Illusion of Living – the idea that Joey really wanted to see if he could make something Sammy would worship gives him a solid motive here, and becomes interesting when Sammy is the ONLY person whose infection ends up with these religious overtones, see the end of this post), but it’s equally possible from what little we know that Joey was simply negligent, caught up in his own nonsense, and never thought to look into it until Sammy became an obstacle to his own goals.

[prrism]

A Visit From… Bloopers Reel (Vol. 2)

Welcome to the second volume of the bloopers reel. This time around I also added some deleted scenes I couldn’t fit into the series, for one reason or another. Remember this is outside of canon from the series, meant for fun and to break tension. Please sit back and enjoy the hilarity

Warning: Swearing, utter stupidity not meant to be taken seriously

A Visit From… Jack Manifold

“You know I tried to be patient but clearly that’s not going to happen.” You speak up, startling the guy as he whips his head in your direction.

“Ahjfjjr mrimvokd!” You start laughing when all that comes out of Jack’s mouth is absolute gibberish.

“I’m sorry, what was that again?” You say between chuckles.

“Words?” He chuckles himself, slightly embarrassed.

“I can assure you those weren’t words.” You say cheekily.

“I forgot my line, can we just start over?” He looks away, trying to hide his beet red face.

“Are there still awkward potions in the chest?” You ask rhetorically before resetting yourselves to retake the scene.

A Visit From… Quackity

You could hear screaming outside your house, curious and concerned you step out to investigate only to see a man running around in nothing but… let’s say shorts for now.

“What the f***?” It slips out before you can catch yourself. “When you said you weren’t going to wear much for the scene, I didn’t think you meant you would be borderline naked.”

“That’s just how I vibe, man.” He says in his Mexican Dream voice, the both of you end up laughing as a result.

“Uhhh… Y-you good over there, buddy?” You ask hesitantly.

“Oh yes, hello.” He waves, speaking in an oddly high-pitched voice as he approaches, you can’t help but break into laughter.

“If you keep this up we’re never going to finish filming this scene.” You in fact did not finish the scene that day.

A Visit From… Punz (Second Visit)

An infuriated Punz who marches up to you and practically shoves a pouch into your hands, the force behind it almost knocking you over.

“Oops sorry.” Punz apologizes.

“You just pushed me, how dare you.” You dramatically feign hurt, you can’t hold up the act for long and the both of you end up laughing before retaking the scene.

“You seem very tense, have a seat and try to cool down a little while I get something for you.” You say in a calm matter, hoping to not aggravate him any farther then he already was. He drops himself down on the couch so hard one of the legs breaks off. The two of you stare at each other in silence for a moment.

“You’re going to have to fix that.”

“I know…” He sighs.

“Fundy stole Beenus!” He starts, you’re trying so hard not to crack, he notices. “Don’t you dare, don’t you dare.” He warns, but that just makes you laugh harder.

“Beenus…” Is all you manage to wheeze out. It takes a few minutes to calm down before you can try the scene again.

A Visit From… Tubbo (Third Visit)

“Well I’m sure you’ve already heard that Wilbur and Tommy are now enemies to L'Manberg, and as the president’s man it’s my job to help hurt them down.” Tubbo explains.

“Are you sure that’s what you meant to say?” You ask. Tubbo looks at you confused, then proceeds to flip through the script.

“Oh? Ooohh! Sorry.” He apologizes for the mistake. “It’s hunt not hurt, I mean I could hurt them too in all honesty.” He says nonchalantly, you can hear Wilbur break into laughter in the background.

“Are you doing this because you want to do it or because someone told you to do it?”

“Ummm… well… because I uhhh… uhhhh… uhhhhhh…” He trails off, you could practically see the gears turning in his head as he tries to remember his line.

“Take your time.”

A Visit From… Techno

“Alright, what can I…” Your voice trails off, eyes wide and blood running cold. “Eeehhhhhh…” You let out the high pitched sound without meaning to.

“Ahaha! You should really see the look on your face.” Techno chuckles.

Deleted Scene: “What the heck?” You mutter looking down at your comm, Techno raises a curious eyebrow. “Apparently Tommy wants me to relay a message to you.” You explain.

“If it is what I think it is, I’m not doing it.” Techno says, crossing his arms.

“Well that’s just the thing, it’s not much of a message, it’s just the letter E.” Instantly after you say that Techno’s face scrunches up and he glares at the wall.

“Where did Tommy say he was again?” He asks, an edge to his voice.

“I think he’s still at Pogtopia with Wilbur, why?” You ask nervously.

“… I’m gonna kill him.” With that Techno leaves without another word and you’re left standing there shocked and confused.

A Visit From… HBomb

“Wait, why is this one blue? I’ve never seen a blue stand before.”

“Well why are you in a maid outfit?” You ask back. HBomb looks down at himself.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me I was still wearing this?” He asks, slightly embarrassed. You just shrug. “Hang on, I’ll be right back.”

A Visit From… Eret (Second Visit)

“You know for someone who wants to be discreet you sure look rather flashy.” You joke pointing to their outfit. He chuckles sheepishly at this.

“Yeah I guess, but you gotta admit, I look really good in it.” She replies, striking a pose.

“Yas, work it.” You applaud, Eret strikes another pose. The two of you completely forgetting to finish the scene in favour of this small fashion show… worth it.

A Visit From… JSchlatt

“Here, a little something from me to you.” He tosses something at you, you’re too distracted trying to catch it to pay attention to what it is. When it’s secure in your grip do you look down at it.

“An apple?” You raise a questioning eyebrow his way. “Who do you take me for? Charlie?”

“Man’s not even in this series.”

“Yet. I heard he’s joining later in the timeline.”

“Can’t a man just make a reference in peace?” Schlatt sighs exasperated.

“No, because that’s exactly what you want.” You quip.

“You know what, f*** you, we’re doing this again.” He jabs back lightheartedly, the both of you sharing a small laugh before having to redo the scene.

“Only if we’re getting ahead of ourselves. No, I’m here to make amends.”

“Ominous foreshadowing is ominous.” You mutter.

“That’s what I’m here for.” Schlatt states proudly.

“Oh sh**! I didn’t think you heard me.” You look away sheepishly.

“These ram ears hear everything, baby!”

“Oh, you’re a ram! Here I thought you were a goat hybrid like Tubbo.”

“What? No! Why does everyone keep thinking that?”

“Your traits do look very similar.” You point out. “We’re getting off track, should we try again?”

“Yeah sure I’ve got some time to kill.”

A Visit From… Wilbur and Dream (Firth and Third Visit)

“By all accounts we’re actually the bad guys. Schlatt won fair and square in the election and even made some good changes to the country, and we’re the ones trying to take it back by force. This isn’t about L’Manberg or the people anymore…” Before Wilbur can continue you jump in.

“It’s about drive, it’s about power.”

“We stay hungry, we devour.” Dream joins in.

“Put in the work, put in the hours, AND TAKE WHATS OURS!”

“You two are literally the worst.” Wilbur says, semi-amused.

“Oh cmon, I see that smile you’re trying to hide.” You smirk, leaning in closer to him, he lightly shoves you away in retaliation.

A Visit From… Techno (Second Visit)

Making your way down stairs you nearly give yourself a heart attack, slipping in the process.

“Dude! Don’t scare me like that!” You scold picking yourself up.

“Can’t hold me accountable, I didn’t even do anything.” Techno raises his arms in defence.

“You presents is intimidating.”

“That sounds like a you problem.” He says matter-of-factly. You sigh and head back upstairs to try at the scene again.

Festival Aftermath

Deleted Scene: “I leave you alone for 5 minutes and suddenly everyone’s throwing hands!” You announce your arrival rather suddenly.

“Techno started it!” Tommy shouts, pointing an accusing finger at the piglin.

“I didn’t start yelling for no reason, you did.”

“Oh yeah well…” You sigh as Tommy goes off on some tangent, you hear Wilbur laugh.

“What?” You look over at him.

“Nothing, nothing. It’s just sometimes when you’re trying to diffuse a situation, I don’t know, it reminds me of what my own father does.”

“If that’s the case, I feel sorry the man.”

That’s it for Volume 2, I hope you all enjoyed

[cataclysmicevie]

I just wanted to thank you, for your fics, but mostly for ‘no paths are bound’ and ‘the soul remains’. I adored heaven’s official blessing with all my heart but- the way that the story between HX, SW, and SQX sat… badly, in my heart, in many ways. i understood that the story was saying but it honestly kind of evoked this strange hopelessness in me after reading it all.

but- the story and arcs you’ve given those three ( + pei ming) in these two fics meant the honest world to me. SW and SQX are honestly amongst my favorite characters- ever, in so many ways, but you expanded on them and made them so much- deeper and more nuanced than I could’ve imagined. The way you had SW truly- own what he did and why- but refuse to regret it bc it was to save someone so dear to him- SQX’s complicated feelings with it, holding SW responsible for his failings- but also holding HX to his, and themselves to theirs, and loving all three, the two men who were so flawed but loved them so deeply- and loving themselves, despite their own failings and working to better themselves. all of them trying to grow and be better. paying respect to HX’s grief, but calling him out for the ways that he was SW’s mirror- and in some ways worse after, but then still giving all three so much grace and understanding- and then giving all three ( + pei ming, love u buddy) a path and story that truly felt HEALING and deep, that resonated so, so deeply.

i don’t know. it just… i don’t feel hopeless when i think about those characters anymore, and that means a lot to me. thank you.

(also your portrayals of just.. EVERYONE are so deep, and nuanced, and absolutely gorgeous. i have no words. I will always love the original canon- but your writings in a lot of ways, have just- stolen my heart even more, and held it captive. and i’m so glad that i found them)

i hope you’re having a wonderful (insert time period of day/night here). I hope the world is being kind to you.

Thank you so much! I love that you love what I did with those characters because, well....I always feel like people get annoyed for the stretches my stories often go without focusing on hualian, haha.

But for me, I have always loved examining different kinds of relationships in my writing, and very rarely is the central focus always going to be the romantic ones. Because, for me, romance has never been the most important part of my life. For me, that has always been family members and friends that I've had since I was a kid. So, focusing on that in my writing has always felt a lot more genuine and sincere for me--because while I love the all consuming romantic love that you often see with ships like Hualian, I've never actually experienced that myself. Often, when I'm portraying that, the writing feels aspirational--like, "if I'm ever lucky enough to love someone this hard, I hope this is what it feels like." But when I'm writing the relationships and the motivations that can be found in the Blackwater arc--it all comes from a far more sincere place. There's a general treatment of Shi Wudu's character by the general audience that, while I understand it, I've always found to be the least interesting approach. Yes, what he did to He Xuan was selfish and ultimately cruel--but his intentions weren't. And when you read the text for what it actually is, the situation is a lot more complex than I think a lot of people want it to be. Shi Wudu is selfish, cunning, and he often places what he imagines is best for Shi Qingxuan over what Shi Qingxuan actually wants--but that's a very human thing to do.

That was the thought process behind one of the lines I repeated pretty often in No Paths Are Bound, "there is no such thing as monsters, only humans who make monstrous choices."

Shi Wudu to me, while he was arrogant, selfish, and controlling, was also a deeply human character. I am closer to my sister than anyone else in the world, and if I was in the exact same situation--I can't say that it wouldn't eat me alive--but yes, I probably would sacrifice someone else if it meant saving her. I don't think that makes me an evil person. A flawed one, yes, but part of being human is loving each other so much, that fear of losing one another can reveal cracks in the morals we wish we could stick to.

And by that logic, I can also understand He Xuan's choices. Because like him, I love my family fiercely--but I also know that I'm a person with a tendency to need things to be fair. I can't move on easily from an injustice, not if I feel like the person who wronged me or the people I loved is just getting away with it. If an eye for an eye wasn't in human nature, we wouldn't see it repeated so often.

That creates this beautiful situation--and I think MXTX is so wonderful and ultimately vexing for making such a gripping story a side plot--where everyone is understandable, even as they do horrible things that ultimately hurt one another. And I've never found the most interesting and / or satisfying take on the Blackwater Arc to be one where there's a singular villain (usually Shi Wudu), and everything would be fixed if you just got him out of the way. The truth of the Blackwater Arc is that it examines the complicated lines between family and friendship, loyalty and deception, and how vengeful justice can be just as monstrous as the crime it avenges. I also like the pairing of He Xuan and Shi Wudu for that reason--not necessarily because I think it's a healthy ship, it's absolutely not--but because the two characters are such direct foils of one another, and because if you're going to make that relationship work, it forces you to tell a story about taking accountability as well as a deep capacity for forgiveness. And I think those are the most interesting stories to tell.