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#and i was about to post then realized everyone was listening to the interview
chrissdollie · 3 months
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rapper!chris x singer!reader hcs
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a/n: lowkey a collab with @bambi-slxt bc of all the headcanons she sent me LMAOO thank u sweets!! <3
SFW
chri$ is definitely one of the more "soft" rappers. everyone knows that hes a lovesick puppy for you. he doesnt have ONE line including the words "my bitch". instead he replaces them with "my girl" OR "my wife" :((
i think he would 100% make an album fully dedicated to you. kinda like tyler the creator's "call me if you get lost" in a way. for example, in the song "HEAVEN TO ME", tyler explains his dreams. chris would rap about all of the things he wants to do with you and how he sees you in his life forever
he has many features on peace on the beach with my peach since its partially about your guys' sweet relationship! theres moments in the record where there are beautiful beats paired with your heavenly vocals and cute voice cracks while chri$ is dropping barssss (ill make a post ab lyrics i think he'd add)
sososososo supportive of your creative journey. he was with you as you wrote and planned out your extremely personal debut. he even helped out at the studio :c
but then you started adventuring some time after your 2nd-3rd album. you started experimenting with different genres/styles. you created storylines and visuals along with your music.
out of the two of you, chri$ is definitely more famous. anyhow, he got invited to the met gala and had u has his plus one obviously, where you both looked drop dead gorgeous!! i literally cannot see him wearing a basic ass suit and tie to the met. he has to be on your level and match your uniqueness which make you two stand out so much!
when you both got up the steps, he was being interviewed by emma chamberlin, who was also a fan of his. she asked about the creative process of his newly released album and he totallyy put you in the spotlight, saying "yn helped me a lott honestly. she's... literally a genius." he grins, turning to you while keeping his hand on your waist.
you guys like toying with the paparazzi when they're bothering you. you goofballs make silly faces right in the cameras so they back off
one time when you were being interviewed, your sweet boy wrapped his arms around your waist as he listened to you talk. you were a little nervous and stuttered a bit, but chris consoled you by rubbing small circles into your waist and whispering a gentle "it's okay baby" to your ear.
you fangirl on stage when you catch your boyfriend's eyes in the front row. sometimes you entirely stop what you're singing just to giggle and squeal "hiiii honey!!" while twirling your hair like a little girl. the audience cheers with screams when they realize chris is with them in the crowd-- but feels like its only you two in the stadium when he blows you a kiss (some corny shit he never thought he'd do) and mouth the words "i love you".
for the holidays, u two visit homeless shelters and childrens hospitals and perform for everybody <3
imagine just hanging out at the studio with him and your guys' friends. he's manspreading on a leather couch while massaging your feet resting in his lap as you write lyrics in your lap, your friends helping you out as you do.
you knew that somewhere down the line there was going to be some kind of beef. a popular rapper decided to call out chris for something he did years ago as a literal child. you both ignore it until he sends out a tweet about you. something around, "nd his bitch bad asf id hit fs but she a fuckin weirdass childish mf"
you ignore the fact he called u a "weirdass childish mf", you cant care less, many people dont vibe with ur ideas and thats okay!
u do however care about how his girlfriend would react to seeing him wanting to fuck you. and you'd met her before too, she was a little snobbish, but respectful nonetheless. you joked to your boyfriend about dropping your own diss track on him, but he actually seem intrigued. you shut it down almost immediately though, you didn't wanna make something small such a big deal
but at the next big event you guys went to, you found the rapper's girlfriend and showed her his tweet. she thanked you with a furious scowl on her face before she ran off and slapped the shit out of him in front of everybody
chris gets a custom made $5k chain that has ur name and little details that remind him of u around it :((
NSFW
speaking of that chain, he wears it whenever he pounds into you so you'll be reminded of how he's yours.
chris loves ur vocals so much on stage! he finds them beautiful, but he loves them even more in bed.
"cmon mama lemme hear that pretty voice"
in fact, you two created a song just to have playing in the background while you two get intimate
chris audio recorded him eating u out once and you saying, "oh, fuck chris, it's so good!" and he decided to use that as an adlib in his favorite songs OR disses he wrote about someone being a jerk to u
watching chris perform did things to you. seeing him sweat, brushing his gorgeous hair out of his face, putting in so much energy into his performance... it's intoxicating! sometimes you wish he'd just drop the mic, pull you onstage, and make love to you infront of the world.
he talks about marrying you while he's balls deep inside of your wet cunt :( saying how he wants to drop a humongous bag on your ring, give you the wedding of your dreams, and how he desperately wants to hear "missus sturniolo" from others' mouths
chris will totally pop up behind stage after a show and guide you to your dressing room not so subtly. you apologize to your manager before rushing to your private room like a giddy teenager. "wanna see her sweetheart, she wet for me righ' now? oh, there she is.." he coos as he bends down to his knees right in front of your pussy when you pull down your pretty pink stage costume.
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@leah-loves-lilies @1everythingmustgo @star-sturn @junnniiieee07 @mattsneezing @freshloveee@freshsturns@emma4eva @r6diosturns @matthasmywholeheart @donthugmeimhot @blahbel668 @chrissturnsss @joanofarcily @mattscoquette @slutsturn @sturnioloremarker @ashley9282828 @jnkvivi @sturncakez @lanasturn @riasturns @st7rnioioss @strnlxlqve @starlace111 @mattsfavbigtitties @stvrlighht
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pippin-katz · 6 months
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The Awardist - Nicholas Galitzine & Taylor Zakhar Perez
I have to write down the best bits and record my thoughts while listening to this because I am completely losing my mind over what is our first real interview with the boys that was recorded in real time.
27:55 - right off the bat we got a great inside joke/reference from the host that had me cackle
28:19 - taylor being happy to see their faces and nicholas immediately shutting him down like "well i'm not happy to see taylor's face"
28:40 - taylor joking about putting a post-in note over nick's face lmfao
29:30 - the way they don't want to talk over each other, it's giving alex's bedroom flashbacks
29:40 - nick being like "oh! oh, it's good!" when dipping into the online response when the movie released lmfao 😆
30:33 - the silence following the social media question where they were apparently nodding followed by taylor saying they were texting each other like "mate" "mate" back and forth
31:20 - THEY TALKED ABOUT THE SIGNING WARS
31:44 - nicholas calling taylor "this little fucker" had me dying cause me and @meraki-yao were literally referring to him as that in our conversation on ig yesterday
32:00 - nicholas genuinely asking taylor "what possessed you to do this?"; it's giving storage closet in the children's hospital vibes when henry's like "why do you dislike me?"
33:04 - "take it nick" immediately upon being asked the dense question regarding fans reacting to their portrayals of henry and alex, and the way that nicholas laughs and stutters makes me think that taylor totally did that on purpose to mess with him lmfao
34:00 - taylor stopping to talk to fans regardless of where he is or where he's going and specfically mentioning how meaningful it was that people have said *TW* they were contemplating suicide when they read the book/watched the movie and that it helped them 🥺
35:40 - the host referred to the film as "a coming out story", which i don't really agree with as a label because the coming out portion is an added piece of their relationship as two public figures, but their love is the actual story
36:40 - nicholas referring to the film as "wholesome and funny" made me smile so much because it truly is wholesome
37:18 - not the host making the "top to bottom" joke 😭
37:58 - nicholas and taylor have talked about their friendship with each other and how they instantly clicked; nick knew within a few minutes of rehearsal that taylor was "his buddy" 🥺
38:41 - catch me squaring up with everyone who has made nicholas self conscious and self deprecating about doing so much intimacy work on the screen that he refers to it as "basically his thing" like that's all he's recognized for; i am so ready to punch some motherfuckers 😡
39:10 - "it's so fun now, seeing my mate at all these awards and stuff"; catch me fucking crying
39:24 - not taylor misremembering the "nicholas or joey" question as "who was the better kisser"; he totally combined the "is nicholas a good kisser" question with the "who has your heart tonight" question
40:05 - taylor talking about matthew's background in theatre and how they got to actually rehearse with each other; i will never stop being insanely grateful that matthew is a theatre guy
40:55 - the way i said "oh my god" out loud because i was so excited by the question
41:14 - improvised the "physicality" of the store room; i.e. they just fell on top of each other and clamored around 😂
41:32 - the way i literally gasped so hard that i started coughing when nicholas called taylor "tay", i am not even fucking joking, that was so fucking cute 😭
43:42 - fucking wheezed upon realizing where the question going
44:02 - the knowing way taylor was like "i will take this one" lmfao
45:10 - not me going so red from second hand embarrassment 🫣
45:44 - taylor bringing the jockstrap that nicholas wears in bottoms, and nicholas immediately adding "i won't even go into mary & george" 😂
47:51 - taylor finishing nicholas' sentence about matthew's direction for the cake scene; sharing a braincell lol
48:36 - taylor's dog passed away the night of the first day of filming like wow, that fucking sucks 🥺😭
49:05 - "everyone's looking at me with these sad eyes" made me so sad but then taylor said "do you want some tea?" in a terrible british accent lmfao
49:50 - nicholas complimenting and boosting taylor's performance while having such a hard time emotionally 🥺
50:49 - taylor bringing up running through the museum; i can hear the smile in his voice while talking about it 😭
51:28 - they filmed the kensington palace fight and the red room the week after nicholas got covid
52:40 - oh my god, the way you can hear nick grinning as he throws taylor under the bus for the sequel question 😂
53:30 - taylor wants a second book to base the sequel off of
54:03 - taylor used they/them pronouns for casey!! see? he knows, it was totally nerves
55:20 - it felt like it was over too soon, i desperately need more of them PLEASE 😭
This is the greatest thing that's happened in like, a month for me lmfao I am literally begging for more people to interview the boys about RWRB, I am so fucking desperate for more content of the two of them together. They are everything to me 🥺
Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️
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buddiebeginz · 4 months
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Okay everyone listen to me Tim posting a B/T video (if he even did because his FB is private and people are saying he posted it but took it down) does not mean he’s saying Buddie is a no go and T*mmy is Buck’s endgame.
First of all let’s remember that Tim wanted to do Buck’s bi storyline years ago particularly back in season 4 and this was likely going to lead to Buddie (look at how the shooting arc was handled).
Second so much of this season has been geared towards Buddie. We had a lot of joint interviews with Ryan and Oliver (more than ever before). We’ve had Buddie talked about in pretty much every interview Oliver and Ryan have done both together and separately this season. This is not something that happened (to this extent) previously, it’s clear Fox did not really want them talking about Buddie. Also remember that if Buddie wasn’t happening and if Tim and ABC didn’t want them talking about Buddie they wouldn’t be allowing these kinds of questions over and over again. They would answer the Buddie question once or twice and that would be the end of it. Everyone knows how much people ship Buddie especially Tim. I'm positive he knows it would be really stupid to keep bringing it up if he wanted the subject to die down.
More importantly let’s look at how this season has gone we’ve had Buck and Eddie together more than ever. Tim even explicitly stated he was trying to put Buddie scenes in almost every episode. Look at how he answered that person about the karaoke scene. Tim basically said he was a Buddie shipper too.
Also think about this Tim knew he was going to have Buck come out and naturally it stands to reason that when it happened people were going to speculate more than ever about Buddie. If Tim has no intention of making Buddie happen and if his long term goal has been to put Buck with T*mmy as Buck's forever love interest (Like Bathena and Madney) wouldn't he have handled this season differently?
I'm not saying Buck and Eddie wouldn't have scenes together if the plan is never for them to be a couple, obviously not they're best friends but I do think Tim would have been extra careful with this being the first season Buck is out as as a bi character. Yet like I said we've had Buddie together more than ever. We've had them talking about sexual tension, dressing in couples costumes (when the actual pair that is dating didn't), singing karaoke together (even if most of it got cut), Buck talking about Eddie's cologne, Buck being a parental figure to Chris, Buck coming out to Eddie in a private quiet scene (when he only had two coming out talks this season), a buddie hug when we haven't had one for years, Buck talking about how he wished he could help Eddie when Eddie was talking about being sexually frustrated.
Most importantly though and what really seals the deal for me on why I think Buddie is happening is that Buck's entire bi awakening episode was focused very heavily on Eddie. Buck was NOT jealous that Eddie was getting to spend time with T*mmy in that episode (i.e. jealous because he wanted to spend time with T*mmy) he was jealous because Eddie was spending so much time and sharing parts of himself with someone else. He was jealous of T*mmy getting to spend time with Eddie and felt like he was being replaced. He thought him and Eddie had something special but then he sees the connection Eddie so easily formed with T*mmy and it hurt him.
We just haven't (as of yet) seen Buck really be willing to dig deeper to understand what he was truly feeling during all of that. How it was all about Eddie and not T*mmy. At this point all Buck knows is that T*mmy kissed him and Buck realized oh I like guys and he's reveling in the newness of all of that. At some point though he's going to realize none of this was ever about T*mmy and that even the main things drawing him to T*mmy were because of his similarities to Eddie. (I wrote a whole post about this episode btw)
But back to my point and that's why would Tim make a whole episode about how Buck obviously has feelings for Eddie and make it in the same episode where the audience (especially the general audience) realizes that Buck isn't straight? Why do that if Buddie isn't in the plans? If Tim's goal is B/T he still could have had something with Buck being jealous. What if T*mmy was hanging out with Chim and the rest of the 118 and he started being friends with all of them. They could have had it where Buck felt threatened kind of like he did in season 2 with Eddie but what it really was about was that Buck liked T*mmy and didn't know how to express that. What I'm saying is that Tim wasn't backed into a corner with this bi Buck storyline and T*mmy there were so many different ways he could have told it. He chose to tell it where it revolved very heavily around Eddie. Buck was even talking about Eddie right before and after he kissed T*mmy what exactly are we supposed to take away from that?
I know B/T stans like to say we just see what we want to see but decisions like having Eddie feature so heavily in Buck's coming out ep aren't made on a whim these are very deliberate especially when the powers that be know how much people ship these characters. Very specific choices have been made to tell a story with Buck and Eddie this season that is leading them towards the same goal and that's eventually together. If you're not seeing that it's because you don't want to.
There's also the fact that if B/T is the ship we're supposed to be rooting for if it's the ship that's going to be as big to 911 as Bathena and Madney (at least according to B/T fans) why has there been so little focus on them? I know some people might say it's a shorter season and they already have so much to fit. Or that they're trying to go slow with B/T's story but here's the thing they rushed into having Buck come out to the audience in one episode and then rushed into having him come out to all the other characters a couple of episodes after that. If Tim wanted more focus on B/T there would be. They also wouldn't even have to do much with them. We've barely even seen them have an actual conversation and the few times we have most of it has been when there has been some kind of uncomfortableness or annoyance between them. Like when Buck was full of anxiety during the date (and then T*mmy made that closet joke) or when Buck was upset about T*mmy not dressing up and T*mmy seemed annoyed.
I don't know I've watched a ton of different shows and to me this doesn't feel like how you build a ship you want the audience to root for. And I'm not saying that you can't have two people at odds and then have them get together. I love a good enemies to lovers thing but that's not what this is. To me the show is trying to tell us that Buck and T*mmy have an attraction but they really aren't on the same wavelength in other areas. Plus the show is always having Buck either talking about Eddie or having Eddie show up. Like when Buck came out to Maddie and was more concerned about lying to Eddie than his date going bad. We had Maddie literally Telling Buck if he had something to tell Eddie he'd tell him in his own time. What am I supposed to think about a line like that? Or when you had Eddie there during the whole scene with B/T at the karaoke bar or how the scene immediately cut from the B/T hospital kiss to Eddie. Plus we haven't even had a mention of T*mmy since 7x06 and now we're going into the finale. You'd think that they would have at least had Buck mention T*mmy during that date night scene where Buck was watching Chris for Eddie but no instead we had Buck being rather flirty with Eddie talking about his cologne and throwing popcorn into his mouth.
Now let's look at this video. There’s a high probability Tim didn’t even watch it. It’s long and not good in my opinion (I saw it before today). B/T stans call us delusional but they’re yelling about how Tim must believe in this bs invisible string theory they came up with and because it’s mentioned in that video. But here’s what the cover looks like
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And this is why I think Tim posted it (if he even did) because it’s not about what’s in the video it’s about the title.
Has 911 found Buck’s perfect match?
This is what Tim wants us thinking about going into the finale. Is T*mmy the perfect match for Buck? Some like to think so but we know there is someone better and Buck is going to realize that.
No matter what happens with Buck and T*mmy at the end of this season and even if they're still together going into season 8 I 100% don't believe that T*mmy is meant to be Buck's endgame. Buck is for all intents and purposes the shows main character. We were basically introduced to the show through him we've watched him have the most growth, tim is not going to give him some lackluster love story.
Most primetime shows have a couple that the audience can root for. A couple where the audience isn't sure if they're going to get together but everything happening with them makes you want to see it happen so it keeps the audience tuning in waiting for the day it finally does. 911 had that for a long time with Madney before they got together and then later when they broke up and got back together. But now that they and all the main couples are happily married and rather settled 911 has no main couple like that not one that will garner media and audience attention, except oh wait they do it's Buddie. If B/T were going to be the couple they were betting on we would have had at least one Oliver and Lou on screen interview by now talking about them and we haven't. We definitely would have had more press promoting the couple but we haven't. The focus like I said before is on Buddie. The focus in the episodes is towards Buddie, the focus in the media, it's all a bright neon flashing sign that says BUDDIE. Nothing is pointing towards B/T in actuality I think Buck and Taylor may have even had more press than B/T has gotten so do with that information what you will.
I know a lot of you will hear about Tim posting this and think that's it Buddie is dead in the water but it's just not true. We are closer than ever to Buddie happening I promise you. We just have to be patient and let the story play out. Please don't pay attention to all the negativity coming from that other ship in fandom. Block as much as you need to so you can keep your peace. The best thing you can do right now is to show your love for Buddie as much as possible. Make sure you're tweeting about Buddie, leaving comments about Buddie on 911's official accounts (on ig YT tiktok etc), making new posts and graphics about Buddie on tumblr. We need to continue to be a loud (respectful) presence online and to remind everyone that we won't give up on Buddie.
Sending love to all of you ❤️
And remember:
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leclsrc · 2 years
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see it through ✴︎ cl16
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genre: friends to lovers, fake dating au, fluff!, humor, slight angst, slow burn-ish, yearning
word count: 9k
“It’s a proposition for the fans.” She smiles. “It’s a fake relationship.” Or: you go from social media manager to girlfriend in under a day. Keeping up appearances for Charles’ family isn’t easy, until it is – and until they’re not really appearances anymore.
notes... internet translated italian ahaha
auds here... this fic is quite long! i hope you all like it. title from this bee gees song which reappears in the fic later. few music references here so if you like to listen to music, just look for the titles, they’re famous!
You’d gotten the phone call on a Saturday morning.
Barely morning, you realized when you were digging for your phone in the sheets, half-asleep—it’d been five minutes past noon. You’d swiped, pressed the phone to your ear, and waited for the other end to speak, eyes shut.
“Good morning,” a vague voice had said on the other said, distinctly American. “This is Jenna Griffin, newly appointed PR specialist for Ferrari. Your boss told me you were free for lunch on Monday, so can I pencil you in for a one-thirty meeting?”
You click your tongue. “Um, yeah.”
“Wonderful. Monday, one-thirty. Apologies for the weekend call, it’s for Mr. Leclerc.” The line buzzes dead after, and you flop backwards onto your bed, confused out of your mind.
Your job for Ferrari was simple—create social media content, do the occasional damage control, have a pre-interview discussion with journalists, and generally stay out of everyone’s hair. It’s not a high-maintenance job, but it pays well, and you get to travel; plus, you’re young, and you figure this is just a stepping stone for a more legitimate post. Your point is, you’ve never gotten into trouble before, and are only at meetings to take minutes or get assignments.
Which is why a Monday lunch meeting—on your vacation, nonetheless—seems so out of the ordinary. And arranged by a PR agent from Ferrari? Last you’d heard, cars were objects and didn’t need publicity. The whole affair gives off a vibe of semi-mystery, almost, like you’re in the MI6 and taking lucrative calls in alleyways. 
You feel through your bag for your hotel key card, wallet, and phone, and finding them all there, you leave and make your way to the restaurant. You’re not too nervous; you’ve had to have your own sit-down talks with higher-ups and even Charles or Carlos before, but none of the “you’re fired” variety. 
The restaurant isn’t far from where you’re staying, so you shove sunnies on and trek there, managing to make it inside unscathed.
Table 17, the text reads, and you’re quickly ushered into a private section of the place. It’s empty, save for a couple and a far-off table seating one guy, whose back is to you. You realize it’s Charles when you squint your eyes harder. The waitress doesn’t give you much of a choice and seats you across him, promising to return with noontime champagne.
You slide your sunglasses onto your hair and look up. “Hi,” you say politely.
“Hey,” Charles says back casually. He wears a Richard Mille and a few other bracelets, a linen blue polo, and jeans.
“New PR thing?”
Charles smiles, shrugging. “Man, I’ve no idea. Wake up on Saturday and I’m due for a meeting. Is this for social media?”
Huh, so he doesn’t know either. “I don’t know. It was a super random call for me, too.”
He shrugs. “Both clueless.”
“Right. So, to be clear, we’re waiting for—”
“I am so sorry I’m late,” a woman says sheepishly, her heels clicking along the tiled floor. She definitely looks the part for a PR officer: pantsuit, heels, a blond bob, ridiculously expensive handbag, eccentric sunglasses. “Scusami, really.” Her Italian apology has an American twang.
“All okay,” says Charles with a small smile. “We were barely waiting, no?”
You nod, offering a tight-lipped smile of your own. “Yeah, don’t worry about it.”
She slides into the seat beside him and waves a waiter over, ordering in quickfire English; clearly, she’s been here before. Absently, you wonder if her previous affairs in this restaurant were also to have clandestine meetings. Your reverie doesn’t last long, though, because immediately Jenna’s starting her agenda. “So, are introductions in order?”
“I, um,” you say, “I’d say so, yes.”
“Alright, spectacular. I’m Jenna Griffin, just moved to Monte Carlo after living and working in SoCal. I’ve been appointed as a PR manager for Charles here, but don’t worry. You’re in good hands. I’ve handled three Kardashians, two NBA players, two One Direction members, and a lot of nepo babies.” 
“Wow,” you say, nodding.
“Cool.” Charles says, clearly impressed.
Jenna’s gaze flits between the two of you, both smiling at each other. “Right,” she says. “Let’s get down to business.” She clears her throat and pulls out her phone from her handbag, scrolling for a few moments. While the silence settles, you steal another glance at Charles, and hide a chuckle when you find his eyes already glancing back at you.
“Aren’t we waiting for Carlos?” He asks, taking a sip of water. 
His PR agent looks up briefly, then answers. “Actually, it’s just you two today.”
You nod slowly, burrowing even further into the confusion you’d been feeling since Saturday. It wasn’t like you were expecting Carlos, per se, but a meeting with just you and him—now, that’s a bit strange.
“So, I know this is all very confusing. But it’s happening for a reason,” says Jenna. “Charles—and I really only feel qualified to say this because I’ve done my research—has been on a streak of…erm, well, lady-related scandals lately.”
“Oh, God,” Charles groans across you, and you chew your lip. You’ve seen the headlines, but you’re still clueless as to how this concerns you. 
“As a PR agent, I think it won’t do good for his public image to be seen as somebody who sleeps around.”
“It was two headlines,” Charles cuts in with a laugh. “And they were both fake. Please don’t misunderstand.”
Jenna clicks her tongue. “Yeah, the public definitely has some thoughts.” She turns to her phone and reads off of it. “‘Charles is a playboy and not a driver’, ‘Leclerc is too busy pulling girls’… times ten thousand. So, yeah, it’s a bit of a smear.”
“Right, okay. Listen, I’m not sure I understand,” you say with a stuffy laugh. “What has all this got to do with me?”
“Everything,” she answers with a smile. You raise a brow. “Well, you see, we PR managers always have a network. We keep tabs on who’s who, and who needs what. As a new manager, I need to implement some of my strategies around here. Go digging, you know? Find something good. And when I found your pretty little face in the background of many of Charles’ paddock photos, I realized you could help create something newsworthy.”
“Are you talking about a PR stunt?” You ask, your frown deepening. 
“Well—virtually, essentially, yes.” She opens her mouth to explain but is interrupted by the serving of champagne and appetizers. “Okay. Don’t think this is a haphazard decision. Naturally, we had to find out if this would even be a good idea…”
“Which it’s not,” you say, taking a swig of champagne.
She nods. “The thing is, your bosses and I really did go over several scenarios, and this one seems the most likely to keep your fans engaged. This way, the appearances won’t look so staged.”
“—Jenna,” Charles says, clearly having detected your hesitance, “I don’t think she’s interested.” 
“It’s fine,” you say, but you still sound off-put. It’s not fine, not really. “I don’t see how this is going to help Charles, though. I’d think the idea of him being committed to somebody would just further alienate his fangirls.”
Jenna chuckles. “While that is, to some extent, true, the number of fans who would go gaga over the two of you far, far outweighs the opposing population. This is a special case. A girl next door social media manager with a social media presence—and a wildly popular, totally charming Formula One driver? I mean, talk about Harry and Meghan! Everybody loves love. And, might I add, Charles’ male fans might actually like seeing you two together.”
You sigh, a quick huff of frustrated air. “So, what is this then?”
“It’s a proposition for the fans.” She smiles. “It’s a fake relationship.”
You reach for champagne, but find you’ve totally drained your glass. The room falls into muted silence, and you can’t bring yourself to look at Charles. You didn’t expect this on a Monday afternoon. You thought maybe it was a job termination. Or a leaked text message. Somehow, this is the strangest of all possibilities.
“So, good?” She chirps. “I’ll send you the primer.”
You both stare at each other. “We’re not actually going to. Right?”
“Right. We are not dating.”
“We’re dating!” You chirp, practicing your appearances in front of Carlos and Lando, who had visited the former.
“You two look like two people dating pretending to be friends,” Lando observes.
You grumble. Many of your shots had been staged pap photos outside his apartment, or fans happening to catch you two together; no official statement had been released, according to Jenna’s “masterplan.” For the most part, it was a good dynamic of putting up a façade for the public and settling back into a platonic relationship within minutes.
Nothing really goes wrong at first—and then Charles ruins it.
It happens after a Ferrari event in spring. You’re in Monza again, weather humid when you re-shoot the fifth TikTok for the day with Carlos. There are celebrities to and fro, even more journalists and a shitload of fans crowding the perimeter of the area. You’ve successfully pulled off the fake dating stunt, keeping a lowkey profile and doing your job.
There’s a green room for the drivers and close managers to wait and rest, where you stow yourself away to avoid the crowds. You review the reels and stories for the day, and cap it off with a “goodbye, Tifosi!” post with Carlos that’s enough to quell the many notifications.
Granted, many of the said notifications are of the speculative nature. Some are wondering if it’s you posting or if a new hire was underway to make room for the new couple. You ignore them anyway and take a seat on the couch across Carlos, sighing with exhaustion.
“Where’s your boyfriend?” He teases.
“Ha-ha,” you say, unimpressed. You gesture to the TV behind him, showing a live feed of Charles’ last interview of the day with Natalie Pinkham. Once this is over, you’re free for the week: free of social media manager and fake girlfriend responsibilities. The thought alone makes you well up with relief.
You and Carlos both watch intently as Charles answers several event-related questions that, to your horror, simmer into personal ones. Natalie sounds excited when she goes, “Any plans for the week with a special someone?”
Charles has no thought behind his eyes, a muted wave of panic coming over him as he fumbles for a response. “My family’s staying up in Tuscany, in a farmhouse we own, stay in for spring and summer. We are actually visiting them for the week.”
We are actually visiting them for the week. Your look of pure, unadulterated shock doesn’t go unnoticed by Carlos, who’s quick to snap pictures of you on his phone. What the hell is Charles talking about? Tuscany? No, family? 
“I take it you didn’t know about this,” Carlos says with a laugh. 
“You think?!” You holler, still appalled. Charles has a lot of gall to spin this without your permission, or Jenna’s for that matter. You know she’ll love it, though; it’s really, mainly, you who has a problem with it. Anxious, you get up and watch the broadcast end; not a minute later, Charles enters and offers a can of sparkling water to you.
“Thirsty?” He asks casually.
“Very,” you pipe, taking a gulp.
“You’re welcome,” he says teasingly.
“Oh, thanks! I think I’ve been busy thinking about the fact that I’m meeting your family!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He yells, trying to match your agitated volume. “I didn’t know you were watchi—I was nervous! I didn’t know what to say anymore! And—you kno—well—and Natalie kept asking a ton of questions!”
Your face of disbelief matches his of sheepish apology, facing each other frozen. Across you, Carlos lets out an incredulous laugh, mumbles something about wanting popcorn. You honestly can’t blame him. Had you been an outsider, you would’ve relished in Charles’ slip-up, too. Instead, you’re the one who’s apparently going to Tuscany on Friday to meet the extended Leclerc clan.
“It’s fine. It’s gonna be”—you attempt to find an appropriate adjective—“bearable. At least we don’t need to keep up appearances there.”
You’re met with disagreeable silence. When Charles doesn’t chime in with an agreement, you turn slowly back to him. “No.”
“It’s only for a week—”
“No!”
“A week!” 
You’re both standing up, pacing around the other frantically. Pretending to suddenly be bumped up from social media manager to Charles’ girlfriend was a daunting enough proposition. Getting hate mail and death threats was enough incentive to let you want to leave. Timing exits and entrances was difficult. And now, pretending to be together in front of his family? His family. 
“Why can’t you just tell them we’re not actually dating?!”
“It’s just—it’s complicated having to explain why.” You remember his assortment of man-whore scandals and realization sinks into you. You sit on the arm of the couch, deflated and contemplative. Despite your own knowledge of the scandals being totally baseless and false, you understand it’s difficult to explain the lengths of tabloids and online rumors to older family members.
You might have to grin and bear it.
“Fine.” You digress. He cheers silently. “One week. Once our quickie breakup is finalized, you’re telling them it ended well. I don’t want to be in anybody’s bad graces.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay.”
Tuscany won’t be so bad, you think. What’s the worst that could happen?
Charles’ extended family greets you at their farmhouse when you arrive heaving two pieces of luggage. It’s populated by two aunts, three uncles, and two younger cousins, and their hospitality is contagious. They all somehow remind you of Charles, their faces, their laughs, their easy attitudes.
His aunts, Mia and Giulia, are the first to pull you in for a hug and inspect your face. Good eyebrows! Good lips! Healthy attractive child for you both!
You have to pry yourself off of them with giggles and smiles and pretend the kid comment was never uttered for your own sake. They’re kind, ushering you inside and serving dinner immediately, inquiring about the drive and if it was bad, if Charles had spotted any dead sheep or cattle on the way (none.)
His cousins are both little boys, eleven and six, shy and with thick accents. Charles’ smile is huge when he speaks to them in Italian, eyes comical and animated. His three uncles all eat fairly quietly, talking about politics, or racing, only when they feel like it. 
They ask many questions, and tell so many stories, over limoncello and rigatoni that leave you stuffed after two platefuls. You didn’t think you’d be satisfied so soon after the drive, but you’re grateful for it. His uncle Giorgio leads the tour of the house, his voice slow and constantly sliding into Italian, but Charles is quick to supply a translation into your ear. Lit by terrace lights, you get a night view of the house, surrounded by the hills, the lemon trees, and a swimming pool in the back. Further back, there are two horses for riding, and bicycles for easier transportation.
A vineyard borders the other side of the hill, owned by a different family. You can’t digest the beauty of this place, even without the sun to provide a better view. You’re back inside, being shown the rest of the wide dining room and kitchen that lead out onto a balcony-terrace area, and then clambering the stairs to be shown your room—a beautiful one on the second floor that overlooks the hills. 
“This is so beautiful,” you say honestly. “Thank you so much. And Charles will be staying…?”
“In my childhood bedroom!” He quips excitedly, already halfway out the door to review his living situation.
Giulia and Mia share a look and then the former goes, “Wait, Charles!”
He slows to a halt and turns, awaiting their words. “Ay. Bambino, because you have been in Monaco so long these days, and we have gotten a lot of stuff, your childhood bedroom is now more of a… storage room.”
“A storage room?!” He sounds scandalized.
“Bambino, mi dispiace,” she continues. “But—let’s not be conservative! You two have been dating now for a year, correct? Surely, you’ve slept in one bed.”
Your face grows warm. “Um, actu—”
“Shh,” Mia says kindly. “No need to make excuses. Charles, stay with your girlfriend. And we will wake you both for breakfast. Ciao!”
You barely voice your assent, managing to wedge in a thank you! before the door closes and leaves you and Charles alone. 
In a room without a single couch. The only non-bed “resting” space is a single chair, and as much as you want to, you don’t want Charles to break his spine trying to sleep on it. The situation is clear. You need to configure the bed.
“We cannot sleep on the same bed.”
“I’ll take the floor.”
“No! I mean—ugh. I don’t want to risk you pulling a muscle. Also, more importantly, if any of your family walks in and sees you sleeping on the floor, they’re going to think we’re freaks.”
“The bed is big enough for us both,” he says, gesticulating. You narrow your eyes. If you’re going to be avoiding physical contact, it definitely isn’t. It’s like the gods had decided to bless the room with a bed perfect for two people snuggling.
You place your hands on your hips, analyzing the best way to tackle the situation. You won’t lie, you’d thought about the possibility of sharing a room—but a bed was completely different. You’d expected a couch, a loveseat of some kind, both of which are woefully missing. Thinking fast, you take the three decorative, cylindrical pillows and place them vertically on the centre of the bed.
You step back. “Okay. That’s our boundary.”
Each side is a bit small, but it’s the price to pay, you think, taking a long look at your handiwork. Beside you, Charles snorts. “That is not going to work.”
“I’ll bet you it will,” you say matter-of-factly, retreating to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When you emerge, Charles is fast asleep, half his body on your side of the boundary. You have to pour water on his face to shoo him away, and that’s when you’re positive your creation will work.
You place yourself gingerly on your side of the border, remaining perfectly still as you drift off to sleep. You wake up the next day on Charles’ chest, pushing him away before admitting you’d been in that position in the first place. 
You slide him five euros over breakfast. 
Charles is a good driver, skier, and biker—you can attest to this from being by his side, reviewing pictures and videos of him for a living.
But there’s one thing he absolutely sucks at, and it’s teaching. You thought you’d never have to attest to this, but here you are, with scraped knees and a smudge of soil on the hem of your shorts, on your sixth attempt to learn how to ride a bike.
It’d been his idea, like many of the odd things you’d gotten yourself into. “Let me make up for dragging you along,” he’d said, and then proceeded to commit attempted murder every time he sent you away on the bicycle. Five tries did you no good; Charles’ directions contradicted each other and came much too fast, causing you to crash into the grass or skid yourself to a halt, your sneakers coated in a light layer of dust.
“Why are we still trying?” You ask woefully, examining the scratches on your calf. And to think you would’ve gotten to go truffle hunting with his uncle had Charles not swept you away to bike.
“It is an important life skill. Just—don’t look at the ground. Okay. Andiamo!” He sends you off again, watches as you twist and careen into a bush. Again. Your groan of pain matches the ooof he lets out, jogging to help you up. You turn away from the ground and toward his face. His laughing face.
“Ow. What?” You ask, raising a brow. You flex your fingers, waiting for him to pull you upwards. 
“You smashed into a bush and a berry’s all over your cheek.” He says, still laughing when he helps you up. You hold the tip of your pinky to your face, press down, and sure enough, when you inspect it again, it’s stained a dark berry color.
“Is this toxic?!” You ask, agitated.
“Che? Toxic? No, no. It’s a juniper berry.” He reaches over and swipes his thumb across your face, sending you into a frozen state. Your hands remain at your sides while he focuses on wiping the rest of the fruit off of your cheek, showing you his stained finger afterwards with a proud smile. “All gone.”
You turn and pick up the bicycle. “One more for good luck,” you say, shaking off the nerves and gut churning feeling deep in your stomach. You situate yourself atop the bike, trying to remember and re-remember all the tips Charles had given you. 
“Don’t look down, just breathe, keep your eyes trained straight. If you crash, on the grass always. Better than this path.”
“Got it,” you say breathlessly, determined. You take off, eyes trained on the landscape in front of you, leaving the house behind and gliding quickly downhill. It takes you a beat to realize, however, that you’re not falling. You’re doing it—properly. You turn to voice your pride, but that’s what gets you caught in your thoughts.
Charles is cheering behind you, but once he detects you’re stumbling, he runs the few metres over. Still, he can’t catch you fast enough; you do manage to turn right and land on the grass. In his own rush, Charles trips on the horizontal bike, and lands right beside you, atop your arm.
Eventually you’re both doubled over laughing, your fingers finding purchase on the blunt grass. You both only quiet down when you hear his aunt’s car, old and rickety, grow louder. You look up to find Giulia peeking out of the driver’s window, her face as amused as it is confused.
Beside her, Mia yells. “Buon lavoro, Charles!”
“What’d she say?” You ask, still half-laughing.
“Good job,” he replies, entertained. “She said good job.”
Charles takes Giorgio’s Vespa and rides you both to town two days later, even with the offer of a car. He claims the motor ride is the best way to experience Tuscany at its finest. Nothing about the two-seater bike on the pebbly road feels fine, though, and you’re seriously contemplating broken ribs when he makes a sharp turn. It’s only a ten, fifteen-minute ride, but the downhill slope makes it seem faster—and more dangerous.
Your grip on his waist had gone from loose and hesitant to tight and anxious, your voice a mantra of possible death in his ear. He can’t help but laugh, revving harder and chiming in with a biting remark of his own.
“You know who this is named after?” He shouts over the wind whipping both of you.
“Mmm?�� You ask.
“Apollonia, from the Godfather.”
“Oh, Christ. The girl who died?”
“Hey, she was beautiful! My uncle loved the movies so much, his Vespa had to be named after her.” You lean onto his back for purchase, still unused to the speed at which he zips through the countryside. Eventually, after a few turns, the terrain turns from rough to smoother, and he parks at the busy-looking town square, populated by locals and tourists alike, but not with the traffic of more popular cities. Alleyways lead to smaller corner stores and cafés; a chapel overlooks the area, and a market populates the centre.
“What would you name your bike, if you had to?” You ask as a follow-up, removing your helmet and shaking your hair out. You pull at your dress to straighten it out.
“Well…” He takes both your helmets and stores them in the bike, leading the way toward the bustle. “My uncles, and my father—they always say we name our most precious things after beautiful women. Apollonia. My other uncle, Leo, he named his sailboat after his mother, Bianca. Even my dad would name few objects after my mother. It’s a way of honoring them, you know?”
You nod, stopping at a produce stall and examining a bunch of tomatoes. “I think that’s sweet.”
“Yes, so I guess… well, I don’t know, really. My mother’s name, maybe?”
“She’s got a beautiful one,” you comment offhandedly.
“Yeah. Or, if we go by appearances, I suppose your name.”
You ignore the flush of nerves that well up in you and turn back to face him, confused and amused. “My name? Why’s that?”
“I mean,” he coughs, crossing his arms and smiling, “people think we are together, so if I get a bike, and they ask for her name, I must say yours, no?”
“Only if you want to,” you chirp back, amused. What had possessed him to suddenly bring you into the discussion? Neither of you are pretending for all these strangers. Here in town, you’re friends again, browsing the market, walking around stalls, eating free samples of pesto and cheese.
“I do want to,” he says. It’s a joke, you’re sure. Half-sure. It’s a joke.
The town square’s noise begins to die when the sun sets. City-dwellers leave to take trips back to main hubs of Italy, and with no nightlife in the area, many in the square are families or couples sitting down for dinner. The ride back, while short, might be dangerous in the dark; you tug on Charles’ sleeve to relay your thoughts.
“Don’t worry,” he says dismissively. “I’ve biked here past midnight.”
“What were you even doing in town at midnight, hmm?” You tease lightly, following him around. There’s not much to do except eat at this point, judging by the way you’d both exhausted the stalls in the afternoon. He rolls his eyes, mumbling excuses. 
“You womanizer,” you whisper in an exaggerated scandalous tone. You poke his bicep. “Bedding the locals.”
“I was not, ay!” He defends. You’ve noticed his accent is so much thicker here, where he has to speak Italian all the time, except with you. It sounds nice. “I would come to smoke weed.”
That’s even funnier, you think, throwing your head back to laugh. Thoughts of teenaged Charles, tinged pink and tan from summer, on a momentary break from a junior racing career, biking fast back and forth—for a joint no less—are both funny and endearing. “That is so cute, Charles. Drug virgin.”
“Don’t speak of those when we’re in front of the house of the Lord,” he says sarcastically, gesturing to where your cyclical walking had landed you: back in front of the town’s chapel. There’s a pot of holy water by the front doors and a rack of candles for lighting and offering. Besides that, there’s a coin drop box being manned by a priest.
In silent agreement, you walk in sync to the candles, lighting one each and whispering brief intentions. You’re not religious, you’ve never been; a church seemed foreign to you, always. But you figure there’s no harm in a candle and an offer to the big guy, if he’s there.
There’s a mural painted by the doors, which you observe silently while Charles goes to drop donations into the box. You catch bits of their conversation. Good evening. Are you a tourist. No, we live up the hill, visiting for spring, yes. 
The rest you don’t catch, turning to Charles and watching him talk, animated as he is solemn. The priest smiles at you politely, turns to Charles, goes, “Siete qui insieme?” You rack your brain for the Italian you’d picked up recently but can’t match it to anything.
Charles nods. “Qui per cenare, ed esplorare.” Esplorare, explore? You fail again, but continue listening anyway, occupying your eyes with the mural.
“È la tua ragazza?” The priest asks with a soft chuckle.
“Oh, sì, sì.” Charles looks very sure of himself when he says so.
The priest nods once. “Se ti sposi, allora dovrebbe essere qui, no?”
Charles turns slowly, looks at you, then smiles. “Okay,” he says, still looking at you. “Farò in modo che accada.” Then they’re exchanging quick Italian goodbyes and he’s walking back to you, guiding you to a nearby restaurant for dinner.
“What was that about?” You ask, the curiosity getting the best of you. You don’t remember what they said, so you can’t plug it into Google Translate; your last hope is getting Charles to translate it for you. You figure it’s no problem. He’s always translated for you during your stay here so far, word-for-word recounts that have you feeling fluent in the language after decoding them. Whether it be a family anecdote or a market transaction, the language has never become an issue for you.
You walk beside him, awaiting the translation that never comes. Instead, he smiles, shakes his head, and says, “That was nothing.”
Your first, last, and only close call happens during a wine and poker night with Charles’ uncles and aunts. You’d spent the morning semi-cuddling (to beat the early a.m. cold, you both insisted), and then a majority of the afternoon in the nearby vineyard volunteering to help pick grapes, and they’d offered to let you wind down for the night inside.
It starts off well enough—you and Giorgio best the first two rounds, much to everyone else’s chagrin, and you rest on the sofa, reading Giulia’s cookbook with a glass of wine. At quarter to midnight, Charles’ six-year-old cousin, Marco, comes inside and slots himself beside Charles, eyes sleepy.
“Cugino,” he says. Cousin. His voice is squeaky and childish.
“Yes, Marco?” Charles asks, preoccupied with his cards.
“Put me to sleep,” he says in accented English.
“Later. You should wait.”
“Can she do it?” A chubby hand rises and points toward you. You offer a small wink, sipping wine.
“Only if she wants to,” Charles says, turning to face you. You chuckle.
“I’d be happy to, Marco.” You smile.
“Cugino.” Marco tugs on Charles’ sleeve to regain his attention. “What’s her favorite color?”
Oh, shit. Neither of you had really thought this would come up, so you hope Charles can fake it well. While you know everything about him, he knows not much about you, especially little niche facts like this one. Charles clears his throat and goes, “Blue.”
“Favorite song?”
“Uh. Marco, aspettare. OK?”
“Why should he wait?” Giorgio asks, gruff. “Your aunts and I are curious, too.”
Charles meets your eyes, and you try to signal for him to lie, which he ends up doing. “It’s Take a Chance on Me. ABBA, zio.”
You do know that song, but it’s definitely not your favorite. You close the cookbook and get up, pacing onto the seat beside Marco and leaning against it, smiling and nodding. Beside Giorgio, Mia asks sweetly, “Do you have any tattoos, dear?”
Just you, or are Italian aunts ridiculously straightforward? You open your mouth at the same time Charles does, and that’s what leads to your downfall. Yes, one, you say. No, none, Charles says at the same time. You both look at each other, eyes wide.
His uncle grunts. “Bambino, do you know nothing of this lovely girl?”
“You misunderstand,” Charles says. “I thought she wouldn’t want to share that yet, zio. I tried to cover for her, but, er—she seems okay with sharing it.”
It’s a flimsy excuse but it seems to work, and the poker game resumes without any more questions about you.
Still, you grow nervous, frustrated a bit, and, once you spot Marco asleep, you take him into your arms and mumble a polite goodnight, carrying him upstairs. The call was just too close. Why did Charles feel the need to interject like that? Had you been caught in such a lie, you’d need to reveal everything.
Something else tugs at your chest, but you refuse to admit it incites an unhappy feeling out of you. Charles’ lack of knowledge about you did nothing but remind you that in the end, he did know nothing about you, and this was just contractual and obligatory and for the press-turned-for the family. You pat Marco’s forehead, sighing. You shouldn’t be so upset, but you are.
You know a lot about Charles, but it’s a cold fact that he can’t say the same about you; at least, not to the extent that you know him. The doors and staircase creak, signifying the game’s end and everyone’s retreat to bed; you await Charles’ entrance, which comes after you hear him opening your room, finding it empty, and then—
“Sorry. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” you say, hushed. You get up and walk past him, crossing the corridor and opening the door halfway into your room. 
He says, then: “You really never tell me anything about yourself.” 
You freeze, turn, suddenly frustrated all over again. Suddenly sad. “Yeah. You really know nothing about me.” It’s exaggerated, so it cuts deeper.
He’s upset, you realize. “Do I have to beg for these sorts of basic facts? I wa—I…” He pauses. “I want to know you more. I’ve always wanted to.”
“You didn’t even think to—to ask me the most basic questions before we got here.” You’re aware he didn’t owe you this, but your irritance doesn’t quell. “My favorite song, my favorite movie, color, anything. I could name all that on your behalf.”
“Every time I ask, you deflect. You never told me, either,” he says defiantly.
You scoff and ponder for a minute before shaking your head and clambering down the steps. You need some fresh air, having gotten mad so quickly. You know it makes no sense—he never needed to ask about you. Prior to last week, you worked with him. Still, everything’s changed now, and it feels hurtful knowing he can’t name these things about you.
You take a seat on the terrace chair, pretend not to notice when he sits beside you, separated by a table.
You hug your arms closer to yourself, sigh. “It’s, a koi fish on my hipbone. Hurt like a bitch.”
He looks at you, curious. You continue.
“My high school superlative was ‘most likely to be elected president’—embarrassing, I know. I won the local spelling bee. Thrice in a row. I love the color green, and the movie Fantastic Mr. Fox.”
You pretend you’re not feeling anxious from the sudden sharing, clearing your throat and keeping your gaze trained on the landscape of houses and hills around you.
“I love crosswords to a worrying degree, I’m a dog person but have never owned one, and my favorite song is Don’t Go Breaking My Heart. I kill it on karaoke.” Finally, your eyes slide slowly over to look at Charles. He’s already looking at you, smile soft on his flushed, pink face.
“I didn’t think of you as much of a singer,” he says, eyes crinkling from the size of his smile.
Huffing and stifling a laugh, you cross your arms defiantly over your torso. Your lips melt into a pout, and you flip him off in an attempt to stave him off. He just laughs harder, gulping the rest of his wine with ease.
“To be fair, I think I dance better,” you respond proudly. “It’s still bad, but it’s better. Better than you, anyway.”
“Is that a challenge?” He asks, mouth half-open, still caught in a laugh. “Wow. Okay, d’accord. It’s on.”
“It is most certainly not a challenge, Charles!” You object frustratedly.
“Challenge accepted!”
Against your vocal protests, he gets up from his chair and reenters the house, exiting with his phone in one hand and the rest of the wine in the other. He browses his selection of songs, humming until he seems satisfied with one of them. He pours you both a glass of preparatory red, a grin lighting up his face. 
You burrow into the chair, unrelenting when he stretches out a hand to invite you to dance. You only end up giving in when you’ve successfully finished your wine, getting up and straightening out the wrinkles in your dress.
Your hand is still loosely clutched around his when he plays the Bee Gees song he’d queued up, and then both of you start dancing.
It’s a bit fast-paced, but you catch up well, letting yourself move fluidly to the song. All the while, your hand remains looped around his, like an anchor, a saving point. You shut your eyes to immerse yourself in the song, a smile on your face. When you crack them open, you watch Charles dance goofily, with moves you’d be totally embarrassed by otherwise. This time, you’re strangely endeared.
Where you expected yourself—the both of you, really—to be stiff and awkward, you’re both loose and easygoing, chuckling and laughing as the song progresses. Your dress swishes by your knees softly when you move, letting go of his hand momentarily. It flexes with the feeling of his absence. Charles dances like he has no care in the world, with movements that would rival a fifty-year-old’s. You find that you don’t have a care in the world either, watching him with a stupid grin on your features.
Your heart swells and seizes, and you swallow, not wanting to realize why yet. He reaches for your hand again, seeks it in the evening light. You give it to him easily, cut his search short. You’re what he looks for.
He lifts your linked hands right as the song starts its ending, and you realize you’re supposed to twirl around them. With a laugh, you follow, letting your arms stretch out when you’re done. He pulls you back, with strength that sends you barreling into his chest. “Dude,” you mumble, giggling. “Charles, you ruined my flow.”
You both part, but barely; your hands are still clasped, your distance barely increased. You stare up at him when the next song clicks on.
It’s slower this time, a song you recognize from films and novels. You remember this specific rendition from two years ago in Silverstone, when Charles had shared over a meeting that he’d been busy teaching himself the piano—specifically, The Way You Look Tonight.
The song continues, your hands still together, your eyes boring into his. The moon makes his light eyes a different shade, all green and soft edges rivaling the intensity of his stare. “Come on,” he says. “Why stop, no?”
He raises your hands, guides his vacant one to wrap around your waist. It’s warm there, secure, belonging. With all the hesitance in the world, you wrap a hand around his upper arm. Your gaze is unbreaking.
“Thank you,” he says, steering you both into a slow, easy rhythm. The nerves melt away slowly when you continue to sway. You cock a head to the side in a silent request for elaboration.
“For sharing.”
“Oh. It was only right,” you reply. “Considering you know nothing niche about me.”
“Tell me…” He starts, but the words tangle in his throat, lodge themselves there in a fit of nerves. He breathes, breaks the gaze. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind… if you told me more.”
A brief shine of surprise passes through your eyes, and you nod. “Alright.”
“Alright.” He smiles. 
“Do you think, ” you say, swallowing the sorrow, “we’ll need to keep doing this when the week is ov—?”
“Let’s not dwell on that,” he says quickly. He sounds—sad, almost, at the thought of this being fake. In the days spent here, picking grapes, drinking wine, going on bike rides and practicing Italian, it was easy to let the lines blur. Perhaps he’d forgotten.
You realize, when he leans forward and slots his chin atop your head: you’d forgotten, too.
Despite the tension, the next day goes fairly normal, and Charles takes you to town on Apollonia late at night. The Tuscan air is crisp and clean when he parks by a pub, loud not with techno music or hip-hop, but Italians singing. Inside, it’s not so crowded, populated by regulars, few tourists, and several older people.
Charles orders himself a beer, and a cocktail for you after you request something sweet. The bartender gives you an extra one on the house, and you and Charles seat yourself in front, watching people sing on the stage.
“Vi piace cantare?” Someone asks, and Charles quickly supplies: he’s asking if we like to sing.
You wave your palm back and forth. So-so, you signal. Charles, of course, ever the social butterfly, slides into a natural conversation with him, about Italy, pubs, beer, and singing. The guy introduces himself as Antonio, owner of said pub and a man who is apparently more than happy to clear the queue of singers for you two.
“Wait, seriously?” You ask. Antonio nods, clapping Charles on the back. You’d have thought they’d been friends for years or something.
You immediately turn down the request, but Charles scrambles onstage, having downed two bottles of beer. You’re overcome with horror as you watch him walk across the small stage to the side of it to request a song, encouraging whoops from the crowd.
“Ohhhhh. Oh, no. This is not a good idea,” you say, gulping. “Plus, I’ve had a lot to drink. Your aperol spritzes have so much alcohol in them.”
Beside you, Antonio laughs. “Non si preoccupi—do not worry. He seems to be a confident guy. You’re in good hands.”
“Am I? He didn’t even ask if I wanted to sing. I don’t even know what to sing.” You watch him whisper a song to the guy in charge of the pub’s ancient karaoke system, half-sure that the song archive stops after 1990. The stage creaks when Charles reaches for another mic and then stretches his arm out to offer it to you.
You muster your best angry face, but he just laughs. “Come on. You will like it.”
Gulping the rest of your cocktail, you accept the mic, and then his hand, strong in yours as he helps you climb onstage. The crowd of locals and few tourists cheer for the both of you, and you don’t do much to hide your stage fright; even the buzz of alcohol can’t help you. You hope (and know, deep down) that Charles will.
“Buona sera a tutti,” Charles says, met with more raucous cheering. “Io e il mio amico cateremo per te stasera.” He bows, and you follow a bit stiffly, not knowing what he’s saying.
“Amico?” Someone jeers from the audience. “O fidanzata?!”
Charles laughs, and you know he’s truly entertained because his eyes crinkle the way they do. You fiddle with your dress, your hair, anything to channel the nerves. He waves the crowd off with a shush motion and then turns, gestures for the song to start. He catches your eye, anxious, quells your nerves by taking your hand and squeezing it. Don’t worry, he mouths. I’m here.
You identify the song before two seconds of it even play, and the realization is breathtaking: your favorite. You shut your eyes and let a huge smile come onto your face, laughing. You almost can’t believe him for this.
He starts off the song, taking your hand and leading you into a dance. Don’t go breaking my heart.
You twirl around him, exaggerating your movements and smiling. I couldn’t if I tried.
Somehow, you find dexterity, flow in the movements, the words. Maybe because you love the song so much. Charles matches your enthusiasm, singing loudly and exaggerating his accent to incite laughs from the onlookers. When he speeds up, so do you, allowing both of you to join in an upbeat rhythm that leaves you panting.
Ooh-hoo, nobody knows it, you both sing, laughing and shimmying toward each other. You both point and laugh, joining hands again when the chorus ends to sing your lines all over again. Charles always leads you well, alert as he is excited, letting you melt into him, adapt to the dance. You feel like you’re floating. 
Don’t go breaking my heart, he sings. 
I won’t go breaking your heart, you sing back, ducking underneath your hands, laughing.
The tension, warmth, spark between you grow as the song begins to close, your words breathless, faces flushed with alcohol and semi-exhaustion. Even if your face seems to show it, though, you find you’re not tired at all, smiling as your heart beats faster. You pull away, dancing to the last bits of the song, having let go of all your worries, nerves. Why were you ever nervous? You always trusted him.
The song fades to an end when you pull together, faces as close as they’d ever been. You’re both breathing heavy with the intensity of your dance, smiling. You shut your eyes, laugh, with the ecstasy of this moment. From the crowd, the bartender yells: “Ora bacia! Kiss!”
Both you and Charles turn to the crowd, who quickly cheer him on, and laugh. But they’re not kidding, you realize—they’re all yelling kiss in unison, intermittent whoops and cheers joining the chant. It’s like a rural Italian version of an MLB kiss cam.
You turn back to Charles, who’s looking at you already. His eyes dart to your lips. You’d never done it before—appearances never went that far—but the crowd is unrelenting, and you nod back when he cocks his head to the side in silent question. Like always, you’re nervous. And again, like always, he helps you through it.
Warmth blossoms through your chest when he leans in and presses your lips together.
That would’ve been enough to satisfy the crowd, you think, but neither of you pull away. Sparks ignite your stomach, your hands looping around his neck, his around your waist. You kiss him back effortlessly, like you’d done this a million times before. You feel him smile against your own smile, laugh when you laugh. 
The kiss is nothing if not dizzying, the perfect kind, the kind of the fairytale variety. His lips are soft, a bit chapped, against yours; when your tongues meet, they taste like aperol spritz and beer. Your hands tighten around his neck, like you need him still against you, when you both pull away for air. The crowd cheers.
You barely even hear them, staring into his eyes. 
The night becomes cloudy, raining softly over the hills when everybody’s done singing; Charles boards Apollonia and like always, you wrap your hands around him, leaning against his back. You’re a bit tipsy, but above all, you’re utterly conflicted with how everything’s seemed to turn in on itself within the last few days.
The rain only grows as Charles revs harder, and the Vespa skids to a screeching, horrible stop. Thankfully, you’re not far from the farmhouse, so you don’t walk much; still, both of you are drenched, Charles’ arms stained with motor oil that drips off with the force of the rain. He stows away the bike, turns back to you. You’re looking at him expectantly.
“What is this?” You demand, raising your voice.
“Rain,” he replies blankly.
“This.” You wag a finger in between you both. “We kissed in Antonio’s pub, Charles. And we might—we might tell ourselves it was because of the crowd’s pressure, but we know. We both know that kiss was for nobody but us.”
He wipes a hand over his face. “What do you want it to be?”
“I don’t know,” you say honestly, sighing. Your hair is dripping with rain. “I really don’t.”
“I’ll tell you what I want,” he says. And he pauses, like he always does when he’s unsure, nervous, bumbling, and then blurts it out. “You—I want you. I was a fool to realize it late. But years of being with you, around you… I should’ve known earlier, I—”
“Charles,” you cut in, not expecting the sudden rawness. “No, no.”
“You’ve got to realize,” he says desperately. “I do. I constantly think of you, feel for you, look for you, look at you. I’ve known you for so long, I always end up liking you all over again. Everything comes back to you. Seeing you here, a place I love—seeing you love it here—listening to you sing, dancing with you—don’t you—haven’t you gotten it yet—?”
You stare at him. 
You’re faraway, on the clouds, dry from the rain, when he says it. I love you.
The morning after is quiet, muted. You drown in your own overbearing thoughts.
“Got a lot on your mind?” You emerge from them quick, eyes darting over to Charles’ two aunts leaning by the doorframe of the dining room. You offer a polite smile, hoping it hides the conflict in the recesses of your mind.
“A bit,” you reply. 
“Come join us,” Mia offers. “We will pick lemons outside. For lunch.”
You take a basket from the entryway and follow them through the front door and onto the yard, matching their slow pace, relishing in the morning sun that hasn’t yet grown too hot.
Tuscany is beautiful. Despite your best efforts, you’d grown to love it here over the course of the week. The hilly terrain, the fruit, the constant goat sightings, the bike rides to town where you clutch Charles’ shirt out of fear you might fall off. 
They seem to spot good lemons within milliseconds, balding the branches in minutes. Perhaps because of your own cloudy thoughts, or maybe their breakneck speed, you fail to catch up, and they notice.
Mia again brings you out of your thoughts, guiding you three to the next tree. “Are you upset, bambina? Is Charles being a pest?”
“Oh, God, no,” you say with a laugh. “We—he’s a great tour guide. I never explored Italy before, and it’s beautiful here. He bikes me to town, because I can’t, uh, ride, unfortunately. He transacts for me, because my Italian is hopeless. He buys wine and cheese and lets me pet sheep when we bike past them on the hills.”
“Bambini innamorati.” Mia sighs fondly. “What is it you like about Charles?”
You hum, thinking. There are lots of things you like about Charles, but surely his family share the same sentiments. What’s unique? What about him is just yours? “His humor, I suppose,” you say. “He finds the fun in everything, even in competition, in boredom. Everywhere else, his good traits—everyone knows them. A stellar driver, charming, kind. Good-looking. But his humor, I think… I think he reserves his weirdest jokes, his best laughs, for the best people in his life. I’m just glad I’m there.”
Giulia is the next to speak, slow and encouraging, prompting you with a question you’d once dreaded but now feel excitement to hear: “Tell me again, how you and Charles met?”
It’s a rehearsed story, with bits of lies that you and Charles had to insert to make it appear more romantic and less coworker-esque. But you’d only told the short version before. To some journalists, to his cousin. You figure you’ll lie less and tell a more unabridged version. “Oh, okay,” you say, nervous and collecting your thoughts. 
“I work with Charles. I was spending time with him a lot, so naturally, we became somewhat friends. Not very close, but comfortable enough. I had to take pictures and videos for him and his teammate, so we really were together a lot. I suppose that’s how we met. How we became… something more, is a totally different story. I think the best thing about it was that neither of us were looking for it.”
You breathe, pausing. “It simply happened—despite both of us not expecting, not needing a relationship, it happened anyway. Almost funny, how young people like myself look for the moment of love at first sight. The staggering moment of eye contact and realizing you’ve met your soulmate. But—it wasn’t like that for me. It happened slowly, like I had to dissect what I felt. Like my heart had always known, so I had to catch up with myself and realize I…”
You pause. You really aren’t lying. “…I’m in love with him.”
Giulia and Mia exchange a knowing look over the branches.
“So, are you dating?” Natalie asks. It’s the first race of the season, and everyone’s excited—but this interview moves slowly, Charles dictating the flow of it himself. He smiles.
“Yes, we are.”
“Well, there’d been rumors a few months ago that this was a PR stunt, calculated by your new officer, Jenna Griffin. So, tell me again, are you dating? For real?”
Charles seeks you in the crowd of the meet-and-greet fans, finds you in the front row. You roll your eyes when he smiles fondly at you. A Tuscany trip and several months later, he thinks, has changed everything.
For the better. “For real.”
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eretzyisrael · 11 months
Text
This account, first published in JewishNews, is written by an anonymous London-based Guardian employee who has family living on a kibbutz in southern Israel. It offers a look at life in the newspaper’s offices in the days since Hamas’s attack on Israel.
I wake up on October 7 to a text from my brother-in-law: “Thoughts are with your family in Israel. I hope everyone is safe.”
I check the news. Hamas has entered southern Israel. They’re in a kibbutz. My partner’s family is in that kibbutz. His cousin is nine months pregnant. He’s in contact with them; they’re in the safe room. Terrorists are outside.
I check social media. Reports of hostages, maybe three. I check again; perhaps ten.
There has been a massacre at a music festival. I look at the video. Who do I know there? I check social media again; there are videos of hostages. I look at their faces. Do I know them?
We lose contact with family in the kibbutz. I tell myself that the phone lines are down because the IDF are there. I watch Hamas footage as it is coming out. I go on Telegram for the first time in my life and I see a room full of bodies covered in blood. I see children gunned down. I see the bodies of raped women. I see families holding each other as Hamas livestreams atrocities. I look for people I might know.
My partner and I walk 30,000 steps. There’s nothing we can do. Late that evening we hear that his family is safe but their house is gone, neighbors are dead.
I don’t understand. I could have easily been there and part of me thinks I was.
I look at the papers the next day. The newspaper I work for has a tank on the front page: ‘Hundreds die and hostages held as Hamas assault shocks Israel’—victorious terrorists hold a Palestinian flag. The subheading reads ‘Netanyahu declares war as 150 Israelis die. 230 Palestinians killed in air strikes.’
I don’t understand. I know people, Israelis, who were murdered. They did not “die,” as if in some kind of accident. I saw footage of terrorism. It was not an “assault.”
The front page of The Observer, The Guardian’s sister Sunday newspaper, on October 8, the day after the Hamas massacre. (via The Observer)
On Sunday, we get more information about what happened to my partner’s family, about how Hamas set the family’s house on fire when they thought it was empty, how my partner’s cousin screamed for her life when the room filled with smoke, how her husband had to pin her down to stop her cries, how Hamas laughed when they realized the family would need to crawl out of the room, how they refused to leave the burning building. We hear that they somehow survived and walked out through pools of their neighbors’ blood, pieces of dead children littering the street; kids who’d been playing on a Saturday morning.
I’m safe, I’m fine, but I can’t comprehend the color of the sky or the rustle of the trees. I look around at people enjoying their Sunday and I think: Do they not know what is happening? I check the news again and see there are more hostages. I look through the names.
There are still terrorists in Israel.
I listen to the radio, one Israeli interviewee and then one Palestinian. I can hear that the interviewer is struggling as defenders of Hamas justify terrorism. I don’t understand. Is this how they reported the Russian invasion of Ukraine? Did they platform Putin’s people?
I check social media. A friend has posted: “They’ve broken out of jail.” Another has said: “Today is a day of celebration,” and someone else has shared an infographic of “Settler colonialism for beginners.” My old flatmate tells her followers she will be at the demonstration outside the Israeli embassy and she invites people to join her.
On Monday I go to work. How are your family, a colleague asks. When I answer, she squirms. Can’t they just leave, my colleague says. No, they can’t actually.
I look at the morning newsletter for the newspaper I work for. It breaks down the number of dead Palestinian children. It does not mention dead Israeli children.
My group chats are exploding as family and friends work out what has been happening, who is alive. I go back to the news. I type the name of the kibbutz into the wires. Nothing. I read how Hamas invaded “settlements.” They’re not settlements! They’re small, pre-state kibbutzim.
I find out that a friend of a friend was at the music festival and is missing. I’m shaking at work.
I see a colleague who had posted about “decolonization” all over social media over the weekend. They’re laughing with the rest of their team. They’re having a great day. I used to love their podcast, full of hot takes and celeb gossip. Now they’ve evolved into an expert on the Middle East. It doesn’t look like their family is in the middle of it, though.
No one else at work speaks to me about it. I nod my way through conversations about fonts and I stumble home.
I go back the next day. I look at the front page. A photo of Gaza and “violence escalates.” Israelis “dead” but Palestinians “killed.” If they can’t empathize with the Jews now, they never will.
I email the editors. I tell them that my newspaper’s coverage has been upsetting. They tell me that their thoughts are with my family but they stand by the paper’s reporting.
I hear colleagues complaining about the newspaper’s “American readers. They’re always accusing us of antisemitism.” They’re laughing.
I leave work early to go to a vigil outside Downing Street. People quietly weep. Everyone there is Jewish.
I’ve seen on social media that I know people going to a demonstration. Later, I see photos of it: people on lampposts, red flares, Jews hiding inside, the Israeli embassy boxed in. All kinds of people are united in the chant, “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.” In Sydney, they are shouting: “Gas the Jews.”
On Tuesday, I find out that my friend’s friend at the music festival is dead. I remember the day I’d spent with him on the beach in Tel Aviv last month. He’d gotten back from South America and was excited to travel again. He had been gentle and sweet. I don’t understand.
On Wednesday, I go to work again, and the next day, and the next day. Finally, the pictures from the kibbutz come out. I look at all of them. I rewatch the footage. I bear witness. No colleague asks me how I am again that week.
I go to synagogue at the weekend and cry with my community. The rabbi holds space for pain. I say Kaddish for the boy at the music festival I will never talk to again.
Back at work I see someone pointing to a photo of the Israeli flag burning in the newspaper. They laugh, “This is my favorite picture.”
I remember telling my family that when I next went to Israel I’d lie to my colleagues and tell them it was Spain. I’d lie because my colleagues had said to me of Israel: “You gotta go while you still can.”
Now another colleague asks me what I think of Netanyahu. Do I hold him responsible? I explain that I have protested against Netanyahu but the only people responsible for October 7 are Hamas. She keeps asking me about the settlements. I tell her they’re bad but she won’t stop. “Don’t you think Bibi has a lot to do with this?” I ask her if she has family in the region. She does not.
I’m on social media again. Friends share infographics from Jewish Voice for Peace and heavy-hitting images from the Gaza Health Ministry. I don’t disagree with what they’re posting but they said nothing when October 7 happened. I start unfollowing decades-old friends.
In the days that follow, my synagogue receives a bomb threat, my local rail station has photos of missing children ripped off, I hear of more friends of friends who have been killed. I hear of others who are now enlisted. I hear that a synagogue president in America has been stabbed to death and synagogues all over the world have been vandalized and destroyed.
The newspaper I work for is covering the bombardment of Gaza and I watch in horror. I think that Israel must defend itself. Yet when I say this, people will tell me I am justifying the murder of children. They will tell me it is a genocide.
As the events of October 7 draw on collective Jewish memory of pogroms and the Holocaust, the newspaper I work for will dispel that myth, publishing a piece entitled “Israel must stop weaponizing the Holocaust.” Am I wrong to connect our grief today with that of our past?
In the weeks that follow, I will apply for other jobs and speak exclusively to Jewish friends and family. I will hide myself away from the streets of London and the waves of social media.
I will not forget the photos and videos I saw on October 7, but I start to think about how this day will be marked; how my children’s children will take part in a new commemoration, where we will remember not the Romans or the Persians or the Nazis but Hamas, and how we survived.
Intergenerational trauma has been retriggered but now is not the time to dwell on our historical violent oppression. Now is the time to rise up, speak out, and defend our right to exist. Now is not the time for colleagues to dismiss Jewish pain or publish inflammatory op-eds that will spark more violence.
I will keep applying for other jobs.
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jmdbjk · 4 months
Text
Minimoni Music Exchange
Things that got answered:
1. The complete meltdown Namjoon was having up to and following Festa 2022. I talked a little bit about that back in this June 19, 2022 post.
In the past, Namjoon once said being the only one who spoke fluent English meant he was thrust into the frontman position when they began doing interviews and promotions with western media and it made him unsure of himself. He said it was nerve wracking to be required to think on his feet while fielding questions for the group, to speak for the members without actually consulting them before speaking for them and then have to answer these questions coherently and off the cuff in ENGLISH.
As this episode opens Namjoon says he "loves BTS because of the music... but if he had to continue like this he might want to die."
That's a heavy statement. But it is edited with the context left out.
I know this because further into the episode the context around that is included: they all felt the burdens of ALL eyes on them, and at some point they all had to become conscientious of who they were and act accordingly. He loves BTS because of what they do, the music that they bring out to the world. But if he had to care about what everyone else thought, all the people who put pressure on him to be responsible for everything and had to deal with that constantly, he felt he wouldn't be able to withstand that, that he felt he'd want to die.
2. The complete shit-show their military enlistment caused for them. I talked about that in this June 22, 2022 post and here in this Oct. 17, 2022 post.
All of the "MS exemption" stuff was such a waste of time and it really did hurt everyone's feelings, mine, yours, and theirs, backwards and forwards. A truly damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario. I believe Jin was relieved to finally get to the base and begin his service in order to get it behind him. And I'm sure the others knew how he felt about it. And in 15 days Jin will be back! We are about to begin a new Bangtan era: post military.
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I watched this MiniMoni Music episode twice, pausing and rewinding both times. Not just to make sure I understood what they were saying to each other but to surround those words, to put context to the words, with the heft of the emotional support and reciprocal gratitude that accompanied the conversation.
And Jimin brings a different perspective than say Yoongi would if it was Yoongi and RM having this conversation like during a Suchwita episode.
I also had to pause a few times to savor that sudden burst of love upon seeing beautiful Jimin.
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Jimin listened as Namjoon explained how he second-guessed himself when he delayed enlisting. He was supposed to go with Hobi but then chose to continue working on RPWP.
He totally related to Namjoon declaring himself contradictory in nature.
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Namjoon said he had to "turn off BTS" in order to focus on himself. He had to be physically apart from them in order to stop thinking about them as a team and see himself as an individual. And then Jimin revealed that he and the members detected Namjoon's distance and wondered if he was drifting away from them. But they also realized it was part of this era, part of this process they were all going through.
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Throughout this episode, Jimin listened to the songs for the first time and offered his thoughts.
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Namjoon says he had to get this album out because he believes things have an "expiration date", meaning he needed to get this out of him in order to move on artistically. He had tied his identity to BTS all this time, that he had no idea who RM was, or who Kim Namjoon was.
They then go on talking about when they come back, the return of the pressure of being the leader of BTS and they wonder how their concerts will look then. They throw out the idea of more subunit work. Namjoon says when they are done with their service, he will focus on the team and each of their originality must go into it ... and he feels good about his position as a member of BTS and as RM.
He reiterates whether you are a fan, a casual listener or a hater, everyone is a Right Person or a Wrong Person at times.
Jimin tells him that he, the members and the fans are influenced by the things Namjoon says and that when he's feeling down that they and we will be ok with it.
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This is my personal opinion: I disagree with people who keep saying "After they are discharged, I hope they spend a little while enjoying some down time."
Their military service is "downtime" to them. Being their civilian self is down time. Military time was an interruption to them. It disturbed their career's momentum.
The longer they delay getting back to work in their real job the longer it will be for them to be where they ALL said they want to be: on stage.
However, that being said. The break needed to happen. And military service forced the break.
As Joon says: "... and I look up in the sky and see silver cloud, yo hurry!" I think it could be taken as the cloudy, forboding future is unavoidable but can see it will bring necessary and refreshing new challenges and change for the good. It is a healthy way to embrace the unknown.
The timing of filming this episode... was it possible Jimin did not know their enlistment date yet? RM said within 4 weeks he was enlisting. That would put this filming the week of November 13, 2023.
Jimin left Nov. 15 for Budapest, returned on Nov. 18 and then Jimin and Jungkook left together on Nov. 23 to go to Japan. They returned on Nov. 28. JK left again the next day for Los Angeles and returned Dec. 2. That's a lot of traveling for men just days away from enlisting in the military.
They knew this episode would be out six months after RM enlisted on Dec. 11. But possibly they didn't know Jimin and Jungkook's enlistment date yet or they would have said "by the time you are seeing this, we will all be enlisted." Maybe they found out their enlistment date almost immediately following the filming of this episode and the Japan trip and JK's LA trip were crammed into the last few weeks they had. I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud.
My personal take: The more the members say and explain the feelings/intent of what they say, the easier it keeps getting to ignore the solos, mantis, haters, boycotters of BTS and toxic fans. Etcetera. Because they are so foolish. Both Jimin and Namjoon called you all "jerks".
RM's album and whatever we heard he and Jimin speak about, ALL that reinforces that THEY the individual members, have the freedom to do what they want. They are Koreans, they will speak in ways that, inherently due to their culture, will be framed in a way that will be "polite". RM said "fuck you jerk" in his music, not to the camera while addressing the fans and public.
One thing this genre-bending album of Namjoon's also does is help the other members continue to step over all of the pre-conceived ideas/restrictions/lines that idols are not supposed to cross over that people throw at them.
All of their solo efforts will help each of them to be more progressive: Yoongi's smoking in his MV, JK's irreverent singing about fucking every minute of the day, Jimin having female dancers actually touch his body (and male dancers as well), Tae and Jennie.... all of that helps pull us along with them, helps normalize things for us so every baby step is a legit step towards more freedom, more maturity, wider spaces to explore artistically.
And they are fully aware of all these "rules" they are going to step over and move on from.
Revelations:
Namjoon has at least 25 pairs of shoes in his entryway. And the small path through them...
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Those high-dollar apartments actually have shoe closets in the entryway.... Namjoon... please.
Things that didn't get answered:
Namjoon secretly a saxophone prodigy? I'm still waiting to learn exactly when did he learn to play the sax?
And Jimin's album coming soon? With a reciprocal MoniMini Music episode? I thought we'd get another hint or acknowledgement of such but we didn't. I noticed this video was not branded Bangtan Episode but linked to RPWP. As has become customary, we wait.
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dhmis-autism · 8 months
Note
what do you think duck’s stance on love is?
Long story short, I think his perspective on it is insanely warped.
Short story long, I think he really really wants to love the other two, but is so insanely clueless on how to. I think my good friend Bear worded it once as “I don't think he's capable of providing much but he is absolutely going to force the others to let him try.”
I think that’s very apt.
But okay! Let’s get into it!
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First things first we need to establish about my favorite little guy in the universe is that love is something that’s very important to him. He is the only one of the three who mentions love outside of it’s allotted episode. Once in the interview,
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And twice in his song in family (which trust me we will GET TO)
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It’s something that he obviously thinks about and is obviously important to him. I think if you want to get real nitty gritty you can even pick apart his individual lines in the Family song and see through his first line I’ve highlighted here as a definite facade, because in the second highlighted line he goes right back into what we got established about him in the (debatably canon) interview which is that not only does he want to love, but he wants that love to be reciprocated. To love and be loved in turn. Pretty easy goal right? Most people have that.
It’s how he goes about attaining this goal that I think makes him totally balls to the wall nuts. And to talk about how he attains this goal we NEED to talk about:
His Relationship with the Other Main Guys Around.
Now, if you read and really listen to what I have to say about this guy, you will often hear me saying that he makes a lot of assumptions and especially in regards to feelings. I have touched on it previously in this post. And with all things I say, I don’t say this without reason + evidence.
I think he does this fun little horrible thing where he assumes that HOWEVER he feels about the other two is the way they feel about him. Unquestionably reciprocated. I think this because of two scenes in particular, the Best Friend Debate at his funeral and his insistence that they are a family in Family.
Now, let’s break down these two scenes and I’ll highlight the bits I think are the most important to my point.
BFD (Best Friend Debate) is a classic, everyone knows it by heart, but the point I want to focus on here is these few lines-
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Here we see Duck make an assumption about the nature of his relationship with Red Guy, namely, that it’s much closer than it actually is. Duck feels that they’re best friends, so surely the other party MUST feel the same way. When RG pushes back against this assumption and doesn’t respond the way Duck would like, instead of backing down or trying to realize that maybe he was mistaken, Duck pushes it further.
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It does not matter if Red Guy doesn’t think they’re best friends. Duck thinks they are and so that is the truth. In his crazy little head, at least. Anyways, pay attention to this next bit, because it’ll crop up again, RG pushes further, emphasizing that he DOES NOT feel the same way and instead of accepting it…
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Duck digs his heels in further and starts coming up with reasons. Here being, well you have to be my best friend, I’m leaving you my things, I wouldn’t do that if we weren’t close!
It is a little bit pathetic. And it gets pathetic-er!
Onto the scene in Family. It runs pretty similarly! Duck makes an assumption about his relationship with the other two, in this episode, it’s that they are a family.
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The other parties involved in this assumption reject it. His immediate response to ‘No we aren’t.’ is “Yes we are!”.
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Then he begins his reasoning….
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And it goes on.
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For the rest of the episode.
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Just near-constant trying to justify his assumption and give reasons why they ARE  a family and fit Lily and Todneys weird criteria (most notably trying desperately to emulate the Family Meeting) , no matter what the other two had to say. And he continues this weird bargaining (that is NOT working btw) until he is forcibly,physically removed from the other two.
That is the ONLY thing that gets him to stop. And even then all he does after is just sing his sad little song that just keeps emphasizing scenes of him with the other two, where the other two just fade away and he’s alone.
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So! To establish what we know so far:
Duck wants to love and be loved in return.
Duck assumes the other two love him the same way he loves them.
When the other two object, or say they don’t, his immediate response is they they do, actually!
When that doesn’t work, he starts looking for evidence/justifications for why the other two are wrong.
WHICH IS A HORRIBLE CRAZY TWISTED VIEW ON LOVE. Like you cannot just ‘yuh huh’ someone into feeling the same way about you that you feel about them. You cannot just force these square pegs into these triangle holes!!
And all that’s not even GETTING into how weirdly obsessed he is with the other two, how I think that fuels his relationship with the house/their world and the weird complacency that plays into that.
The first point btw, I have touched on before! On these posts! ( https://dhmis-autism.tumblr.com/post/727102688807043072/my-headcannon-is-that-duck-has-been-in-a-state-of , https://dhmis-autism.tumblr.com/post/726233248232079360/i-feel-like-the-original-series-was-red-guy )
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But for now!! That’s a rough intro to how fucked up I think this birds perspective is! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
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multifandumbmeg · 6 months
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Alright SCREW IT here's my Kiara defense post:
Is it annoying to watch get paired off with everyone in the main cast? Sure. Let me explain why that's not a character flaw or terrible, unplanned writing so yall can put some respect on her name.
1. They're ALL in love with her, and literally throwing themselves at her all the time. This is so important and well-documented that John B literally tells us IN HIS INTRODUCTION TO THE GROUP in episode one. It is literally so relevant to their entire group dynamic that he brings it up in the first episode summary of who they all are. Guys actually do this I have seen this happen. One of my high school best friends was constantly manic pixie dream girled (despite being profoundly depressed) and several entire friend groups of boys fell in love with her. She dated one guy, who was a piece of shit and dumped her saying it was because of his parents but told his friends it was because she had too much baggage. The fallout was so bad, one guy from one of the friend groups tattled to her and a different guy, who was best friends with the douche, literally got into a fight with him and THE DOUCHE HAD TO CHANGE FRIEND GROUPS BECAUSE HIS BOYS KICKED HIM OUT. I'm serious about these teenage boys all having the same taste and thinking it's a competition.
2. John B kissed HER. She immediately shut him down. Immediately. Everything before that can easily be explained as Kiara being concerned about him after losing his father. Teenage boys are dumb anyhow, but it's particularly easy to see why John B and JJ, who have both been routinely neglected and grew up without mothers (read, any positive female attention/influence) would interpret this as Kiara having feelings for them. They fall in love with anyone who sincerely gives them the time of day, basically. And that's a little too relatable moving on.
3. "Mixed signals" by kissing boys on the cheek. While I would not recommend this, I think there was a very clear pattern to her behavior and I have a theory I'm 99% sure is canon, based on copious textual evidence.
Kiara was in love with JJ all along. I'll come back to this. She only kissed the boys she friendzoned on the cheek. With John B, I genuinely think she never had any sort of romantic feelings for him and just saw him as a best bro. But she was worried about him, and maybe realized he listened to her more when she did it. Nonetheless, the minute he gets with Sarah it's almost like she feels relieved and never does anything remotely mixed signals to him again. Now Pope? That is a rich text. What the hell is going on with her and Pope?
4. When Pope first confesses, Kiara is once again caught off-guard. She once again rightfully turns him down IMMEDIATELY and gives extremely accurate and self-aware reasons. Her rejection of him is surprisingly mature, that the life he plans on and wants is ultimately and assuredly not compatible with what she wants for herself. So why did she kinda date him? Honestly, I think it was an attempt to move on from what she believed were doomed feelings for JJ. After all the things that happen in season 1, after Pope going off the deep end a little bit by smoking weed, getting drunk, and engaging in acts of violence, as well as ditching his scholarship interview, Kiara suddenly experiences a spark of attraction towards Pope.
Because he's acting like JJ. Reckless. Using substances to cope. Chaotic. Spontaneous. She knows these things are bad for Pope, and she's at times put off by how un-Pope-like they are as his friend, but she has a type. So following a moment of attraction and the sudden supposed loss of John B (and Sarah), she decides to give it a go. Maybe Pope's different after everything that happened. And he is, but not quite the way she was expecting. To link this back to the cheek-kissing thing, honestly, I think Kiara lowkey has the ick 😂. She consistently shoves any of the boys who try to touch her at all away except for JJ, the entire series mind you, except for these little cheek kisses like that's all she can manage to do. She kisses Pope like twice and ends up sleeping with him, at which point she realizes she just can't do it. She's not consistently attracted to her, and she can't get past her feelings for JJ, so she calls it off. Again, that's a fair healthy, and kind thing to do. When you realize it's not going to work, especially if you have feelings for someone else, it is distinctly NOT dragging people around to cut it off. If Kie has a real problem, honestly? I think it's that ultimately she wants a man she can fix. And Pope's fine. So that's him out.
My proof that the writers absolutely intended Kiara to have feelings for JJ from day one:
"Did you tell JJ?" specifically. Just JJ. She doesn't want HIM to think she's taken.
Shoving away John B and Pope every time they try to hug her or put an arm around her etc. Letting JJ hug her, take her hand, sling his arm around her etc. She also goes out of her way to touch him by taking his arm, holding him when he's crying, hugging him several times and then almost kissing him. So in a way, I'd very much like you to consider, Kiara was not in fact sending everyone mixed signals, her problem was that she was so consistent. Consistently attracted to and in love with someone she thought had no real interest in her. JJ flirts with her jokingly, and from episode 1 and the convo in the bell tower between John B and Sarah, we know that he's a horny little dude. And that's not surprising either, because people who've been abused tend to go one way or the other- either very physical touch-seeking in an attempt to balance about the bad, or very touch-avoidant. JJ is clearly, demonstably in column A. Not just with Kiara, but he also initiates hugs with John B and Pope, touches their faces, and even kisses Pope on the cheek once. He's clearly a very touchy person with everyone, so I can see how Kiara would be unsure about his feelings when he very much does not communicate his wants or needs with words.
Finally, the proof that Kiara had feelings for JJ, and that Jiara was the direction the show was headed, was in their conversation in thr storage container. When JJ tells her what he wants from life and plans to do with the money, it's a direct parallel to her initial reject of Pope. He wants to travel the world and be spontaneous and non-sedentary and have no use for money. Everything she said to Pope and is always trying to explain to her parents. That was 0% accidental, that was the writers making it clear: these two are a match, they're compatible on a much deeper level.
4. So if they always planned on JJ and Kiara, why didn't those two just get together to start? The answer, my friends, is jealousyy. This is a common tactic in writing to get a couple together: force the reluctant one to acknowledge their feelings by putting the other in a relationship with someone else. Im short: every moment between Kiara and John B or Pope was to show us JJ did not like that and therefore that his feelings for Kiara were serious, unlike how she interpreted them and him being a flirty himbo with other girls. It also helped Kiara realize she wasn't getting over him any time soon, and that she couldn't avoid her feelings either. So it forced them both to give up and acknowledge to themselves that they had feelings for the other.
5. "Teenage girls don't act like her" JOKES. This is the dumbest argument I've seen, I'm sorry. I'm happy you have met such well-adjusted teenage girls but buddy... I have known some teenage girls and people who used to identify as girls at that age who would make you roll over in your grave. Some people don't know what they want, some people desperately crave attention, some people just can't seem to avoid drama or make good choices and sometimes that's even a resulted of untreated disabilities or mental illness. Sometimes it's all of the above. My point is absolutely there are teenage girls who act like Kiara and faaar worse.
6. Lastly, why not John B or Pope? Why was Kiara totally valid for not liking them romantically? Well feelings are feelings so she's valid anyways but can we talk about them both touching her/making moves at inappropriate times without consent?? It's understandable she likes JJ and feels the safest around him when he's the only who doesn't act like he wants or expects anything from her. He never kisses her without consent, let alone while running from the cops randomly. He never tries to put his arm around her or make a move in the middle of them having an emotionally intimate conversation where she is clearly seeking emotional comfort. I'm not saying John B or Pope are bad people, but with Kiara both showed a lot of immaturity and failed to read the room numerous times. They acted whenever they personally felt attraction, regardless of where she was at at the time. There's such a thing as reading body signals, and the only times JJ comes close to making an actual move on Kiara is when she comes to him, gets close to his face and leans in. In the end, he only kisses her after she looks him dead in the eyes and tells him I LOVE YOU. That's on respect. Also, John B and Pope both get their shit together and learn this with their next girlfriends! So good on them!
But Kiara confessed to JJ at a random time too! I hear you shouting. NAY. Incorrect!! JJ is actively avoiding her and having a mature conversation about how they feel about each other, and also the fact that he stole from her family, and that is on HIM. That is a result of his issues and his fear and poor coping mechanisms. Kiara forced him to address it at an inopportune time because she already attempt to address it privately TWICE and he wouldn't let her. So all she did there was clear the air and make her own feelings known, which he needed to hear. That is the last conversation they have before he attempts to apologize and confess back. That is what convinces him that Kiara's feelings for him are both genuine and serious, and that no amount of pushing her away will succeed. She loves him unconditionally, which he did not know was possible until then.
So in short!! Kiara actually behaves like a real human being. She's not crazy, extremely selfish, nor an example of writers just testing out the waters and seeing what the fans want or who has the most chemistry. She is very consistent. The only thing I can really begrudge about her behavior towards her friends (her parents are a different story) is that she's insensitive to both John B and Pope after rejecting them, which I believe is because she doesn't realize they had actual feelings for her so much as thinking she's hot.
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barcalover86 · 1 year
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Where you are know as one of the best prodigy on the Barcelona female team. One day, they host a Barcelona event for the male and female team, to which you get really drunk and end up having a make out session with predi. However, what you don’t realize is that you guys were recorded and was later posted on the internet making it a huge scandal. But in an interview Pedri decided to defend your name saying “I can’t kiss my girlfriend” you may end it with a fluff and/or smut where they both end up together.
fluff
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Summary: You make a mistake that everyone knows now, and Pedri defends you.
You and your team won the Champions League, and Barca was throwing a party where both, girls and boys, were invited.
You were so into the moment that you didn't even realise how much you've drunk. You started to dance and enjoy the moment with your girls celebrating the win.
You always loved the boys' team, mostly Pedri Gonzalez, and when you saw him at the party, your heart skipped a beat.
Your friends told you to go talk with him, but you were so scared that he will reject you.
"Have another drink, and you'll forget it tomorrow" said a friend of yours.
"Wish me luck" you told the girls after you took another shot of alcohol.
You weren't thinking straight back then, so you just went to Pedri and kissed his lips.
He was so shocked by your action, but didn't object. He kissed you back with passion. He was sitting on a bar chair so you put one leg toward his.
What you two didn't know was that you were filmed by some boys, drunk as well, and without realising it, they uploaded the video on their story.
You didn't kissed much because after some time you were tired so you just sat on his lap and started to chat.
He was blushing when he looked at you after you two kissed and you smiled at him.
He did have an interest for you for some time, and you are making the first move, which made him happy.
When you saw the news the next day you were so angry with yourself for drinking that much. You didn't even remember, nor Pedri, that you two made out, and the news made you both surprised.
The fans were going crazy, judging you and making bad comments about the way you look. Is like after you touched Pedri's lips, everyone forgot how kind you were before.
Today, Pedri had an interview, and after some time of answering questions about football, the reporter asked him about you.
"A few days ago, you were asked about your love life, and you told us that you are not in love. Yesterday something interesting happened. Have you found a girl and fell in love that quickly, or is it, as everyone says, just a night adventure?"
Pedri somehow expected this question, but the way he was asked kinda surprised him.
"I don't understand why my love life interests you that much."
"Vamos, Pedri. Tell us, make people understand you."
"I honestly tell you that I don't understand why people hate her that much after one night of doing nothing wrong. She is a sweetheart. We admired each other for some time. What people didn't know is that we didn't just kiss but talked a lot about our lives. We weren't sore back then, but still, I don't see why you hate her? We did the same thing, and if you hate her, why not hate me too? We did the same thing, and I didn't know that kissing your girlfriend was something bad until I had seen the news this morning."
Everyone was shocked at his answer, especially you, who were watching him on tv.
Your heart melted at his voice and when you two saw eachother at training, your heart skipped a beat.
"Look y/n, I'm sorry if saying that you are my girlfriend made you uncomfortable. I wanted to protect you and I had to listen to my heart"
"No, no, Pedri. That's all good. I'm really thankful for what you did for me, gracias mucho."
He smiled at you, and you looked into each other's eyes when he finally leaned in to kiss you. You smiled, and he took that as an yes.
The kiss was beautiful and soft, full of love..like you always imagined.
"Now you really are my sweet girlfriend"
You laughed and kissed him again.
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utilitycaster · 6 months
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Regarding Editing and Innovating in the space, 2 people who get a Fraction of the credit they deserve are Ivan Van Norman & Marisha Ray. I mean, they created and developed one of the original mixed media cinematic interactive actual plays, Sagas of Sundry: Dread, and then Sagas of Sundry: Madness, and Marisha (later hiring Ivan as well) has continued that trajectory in some of the more intriguingly edited mixed format Actual plays at CR, like Call of Cthulhu, Undeadwood, and others, and being Instrumental in the developments at CR. Like, when you do watch the interviews you get a sense of just how Much of CR's current content designs, ttrpg intentions, and series are marisha's brainchilds, and it sucks that she doesnt get the credit others involved in similar projects, and even those projects, do.
This is a great point. I've mentioned this before w/r/t the fandom - Marisha, perhaps more than anyone, gets reduced even by many fans to "she's pretty and her characters are like what if a girlboss were a girlfailure" and her creative direction goes unheralded. It feels like this has gotten worse in recent years; I was baffled at how many people seemingly resented Calamity or Candela for taking up space they felt should go only to the main campaign when those were not only showcases for Marisha as a performer but also clearly something in which she had a strong hand in designing. Whenever people whine about there only being two main campaign episodes in a month because of Candela Obscura, I do think "You realize this was probably Marisha's call?"
I was focused in my response much more on Daggerheart, and so on the game design side (quick side note - reviews of A Familiar Problem, which Marisha worked on, were pretty positive; I wonder if something's happened in the past 2 years since that's when I've really felt this Damn Critical Role energy among actual play journalists), but I had been thinking about Sagas of Sundry and Undeadwood! I think I mentioned Sagas of Sundry in one of my posts about how Kollok isn't, in my mind, impressive. I loved Dread but never finished Madness before Alpha folded, but actually I was imagining something like Madness - fully on a set, people walking around like it's a play - for Kollok! When I saw everyone at a table with that rotating rock I was like "is this...it?" And, you know, Sagas: Madness wasn't entirely for me, but you can't fault the innovation. Similarly, when I think about the (baffling) criticism from one of the prominent actual play journalists I've had in mind while writing this, that Candela Obscura the show did not fully teach people Candela Obscura the game, I think about how Ivan Van Norman did straight up teach Savage Worlds during Undeadwood. Whenever people gush over the shadow puppets in Burrow's End I think it's deserved, but when they claim it's utterly new? Nah. Call of Cthulhu: Shadow of the Crystal Palace did it first. And Marisha had a guiding hand in the creative direction of all of these.
I think this is sort of elaboration on one of my points in my original post: I think a lot of the journalists are really out of their depth. I don't remember seeing their names when I first started watching CR in 2018, or when I got deeper into the fandom in 2019. My first actual play was TAZ, which I binged in late 2017. I really think a lot of the journalists flat-out don't know Sagas of Sundry or Undeadwood because they didn't show up until after Alpha folded. I've mentioned this elsewhere but so much of the claims of novelty and innovation are completely incorrect and not even terribly obscure. Look, I've seen/listened to most or all of 9 actual plays (this is counting D20 and CR each as one single unit, by the way - I've seen all but scattered one-offs from either), and seen or heard an episode or two of many more. I think that simply by doing that? I know more than a lot of these journalists.
Again: Worlds Beyond Number? The innovation is with the Witch class and the Wizard of the Citadel subclasses, and the allowance of extremely long downtime, but: longform podcast actual play with sound design? RQG did it starting in 2015. Griffin McElroy and Emily Axford have been composing their own music since 2017 or 2018 for their respective shows, both of which are also longform podcast actual plays. Again, Brennan pretty explicitly said "I don't think D20 is new, nor longform" in a quote and the article that quotes him argues that Fantasy High is new and longform...and that article also talks about how before D20 most AP video was livestreamed before talking about how boundary-breaking D20 was for having a livestreamed second season (you know, the thing that they just called old hat a paragraph earlier) that quickly pivoted to remote (even though remote livestreaming was actually quite common in smaller productions well before the pandemic, since you don't need anything but laptop cameras to produce it). I don't even keep up with much in the really indie AP scene, but those people I know who do are even less impressed by the state of Actual Play journalism than I, because D20 executes a lot of things extremely well, has a very talented roster of performers, and a budget most productions cannot hope to match, but a good deal of what it's credited for inventing (and which, again, it never claims to have invented. I want to be clear that the journalists decided to be like this for no clear reason) already existed. And, by placing this heavy emphasis on production, they are automatically making it hard for indie productions to impress them. For all they claim to be going after the 700 lb gorilla, they are simply cozying up to the 600 lb gorilla. It's real "um, why don't you try this little indie game called Pathfinder" hours.
I am fairly sure a lot of the people in prominent journalistic positions in the actual play sphere today came in only after the collapse of Geek and Sundry, is my point, and so I think they literally do not realize how much the medium owes to, for example, Marisha Ray and Ivan Van Norman, because they weren't watching in 2016 nor even skipping through the G&S archives, as I did as a new CR fan. I think they're absolutely out of their depth, and most of them don't even realize it.
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dyns33 · 1 month
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Elastic heart
Sooo let me be one of the first to write about Pedro Pascal!Reed Richards / Mister Fantastic because of course I had to write about him, even if the movie is not even out yet.
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It was like a dream come true when Y/N received the email congratulating her because she had been selected to become Doctor Richards' assistant.
Everyone knew about the Fantastic 4, a group of heroes who protected the Earth from all threats, with Mister Fantastic, the Invisible Woman, the Human Torch and the Thing.
In addition to his activities as a protector of humanity, Doctor Reed Richards continued his research in physics and engineering.
Although he was considered the smartest man in the world, he seemed to have difficulty organizing his schedule and his notes, deciding to post an ad to find an assistant who would help him not end up crushed by a mountain of unclassified files.
Many candidates had applied, including Y/N. She didn't understand half of what Dr. Richards was talking about during the interview as he explained his current work, but she listened intently, finding it wonderful and fascinating that he was so invested in his work.
He had clearly noticed her listening skills. He had also liked that she didn't ask him any questions that weren't related to the position, that she took notes, and that she really tried to retain as much information as possible.
"I'm not going to ask you to solve the mysteries of the universe with me. Of course, if you said a theory that helped me solve the mysteries of the universe, I would mention your name. But you must especially remind me of my appointments, that I have to eat sometimes, update my research results, that sort of thing."
"No problem, Dr. Richards."
"Oh, no. Reed, please. Dr. Richards was my father." he said with a huge smile.
The first few days, Y/N was a little afraid of not being up to the task, or that he would ask too much, without ever paying attention to her.
But Doctor Richards was very attentive. Not only did he thank her or congratulate her for her good work, always happy to find hot coffee on her perfectly tidy desk or to hear her ask a question that would point him in the right direction, but sometimes he was even the one who took care of her.
"No. I'll take that."
"But Doc… Reed, I have to finish sorting these documents."
"I'm pretty sure it can wait until tomorrow. You should have been home two hours ago, you haven't eaten anything this afternoon. Don't deny it, I saw you with your energy drink. It's late, you were perfect, go get some rest."
"Only if you go too."
"… You got me. Deal."
Really, Reed Richards was a charming man. Too charming, no doubt, and Y/N quickly realized that she liked her boss a little too much.
It was never a good idea to mix feelings and work, but above all he was not free. When it was not her who reprimanded him for not taking care of his vital needs, Susan Storm appeared in the office sighing, pulling him by the arm and declaring that they were going out to lunch.
Like a celebrity couple, the newspapers were always trying to take pictures of them and spread their private life. So they rarely happened to be seen together outside of missions.
But Y/N saw them every day, and she couldn't deny that they looked perfect for each other.
So she had swallowed her ridiculous love, focusing on her work, while being unable not to smile stupidly every time Doctor Richards spoke to her.
If he hadn't seen it, it was obviously not the case for the rest of the group of heroes, Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm, who often made fun of her in a more or less hidden way.
"Wow, nice meal box Reed."
"Homemade by my lovely assistant. She's so helpful, so kind. I'm really lucky."
"Yeah, that's for sure."
"You're only jealous because I have cookies and you don't !"
Since he was the smartest man in the world, Y/N still wondered if he didn't know, but was too polite to say so. Preferring to save her honor, he played the carefree game by telling everyone that she was a great assistant, who was simply doing her job, without ever trying to seduce him and jeopardize his relationship.
In any case, if Johnny knew, his sister must have known too. Maybe she watched them sometimes, invisible in a corner of the room, waiting for Y/N to dare to try something.
"Susan thinks we should have dinner together tomorrow night." Reed said, writing an incomprehensible calculation on his board.
"Oh, where are you going to go ?"
"Hmm ? No, I mean, you and me. Italian or something. She thinks it would be good."
"… Why ?" Y/N asked, immediately thinking it was a test.
"It's okay if you don't want to. I'd understand, you already put up with me all day."
"I'm seeing friends tomorrow night."
"No worries, it's fine. I told her it was a bad idea anyway."
He didn't mention it again, probably because his partner had been satisfied by this refusal, and the lack of a proposal for another day.
However, something changed. More often lost in his thoughts, looking sad, Reed Richards seemed to withdraw into his work, to the point of sometimes forgetting Y/N's presence, and forcing himself to smile when she spoke to him.
It was hurtful. She didn't understand, and she ended up looking as sad as him.
"Hell, they're stupid, they're so stupid…" mumbled the Human Torch as she passed through the hallway with a ton of files.
"And it's you who says that, that means something." sighed the Thing, rolling its eyes.
Despite all their efforts, their work ended up being impacted. Y/N and Reed forgot things, dropped documents or cups, fell asleep on their desk.
Especially him, but Y/N didn't dare wake him up or ask him to go home.
She preferred to go see Susan Storm. If anyone could channel him, it had to be his lover.
"I would love to babysit that adorable idiot, but I have a date tonight. He's going to have to stop acting like a child."
"A date ? But… Can't you talk to him during your date ?"
"… Who do you think I'm on a date with ?"
"Doctor Richards ? Your boyfriend ?"
"… Johnny was right. I can't believe it. Sit down."
Modest, very modest, and not really caring about the opinions of others, Reed and Susan had broken up several months ago, without any problems, without any arguments, remaining very good friends.
Totally focused on his research, he had not tried to meet anyone else, convinced in any case that people only saw his powers and his notoriety. And he would quickly bore them to death with his long scientific explanations no matter what.
Then Y/N had arrived, and Reed had fallen in love at first sight. Already during the interview, he had found her wonderful.
Trying in vain to be discreet, he had asked the other Fantastics if it was a good idea to hire someone he liked, someone who was perfectly competent, but with whom he would probably never be able to have a relationship because that was not done in the professional world. Or was it alright ? Hypothetically, he had specified.
No one had been fooled by seeing him with Y/N, and while it was funny and cute at first, their inability to see that the other was interested was becoming quite painful to watch.
"Reed is completely incompetent when it comes to socializing. We must have encouraged him to ask you out, because he was sure you were just being nice to him. Now he thinks he was right, that you're not interested. But you thought he was taken… Damn, I knew we should have done a long interview about that."
"You say he likes me…"
"Honey, he's crazy about you. You too, no point in denying it. And since you're both hopelessly shy, I guess I'll have to step in to save the day. Don't move."
Y/N didn't know why she moved. As soon as the Invisible Woman had disappeared, she had stood up, quickly going to her office to get her bag, then taking the elevator to quickly go down to the underground parking lot.
Reed Richards liked her. He was single, he had asked her out on a date, and he had been sulking for weeks because she had said no, making him believe that his feelings were not reciprocated.
Normally she should have been happy. But this was scary. Because the smartest man in the world was perhaps a romantic idiot incapable of integrating social codes, he was not wrong. If things did not go well between them, it would be complicated for work. They got along so well before talking about love.
"Y/N !"
She jumped when she saw Reed's floating head as the elevator doors opened. Or not really floating, she could see his elongated neck that went all the way to the door of the fire escape.
"Excuse me !" he exclaimed with an embarrassed look. "I could have run but… I've always been bad at sports. And I didn't know where to find you, I tried several corners of the building at the same time. That said, I don't really know how my feet would have recognized you. Would you mind waiting, until I gather all my limbs together ?"
He apologized again, because it was quite strange to see his body return to normal, and quite long too.
The silence was not broken however when he was finally complete, and they remained looking at each other like inexperienced teenagers.
"So… You thought I was in a relationship."
"Yes, like everyone else I imagine."
"True, it's true that we never made the separation official… It's an important detail, which I could have specified at some point. But since I thought I had no chance anyway, I didn't think about it too much."
"This could make our professional relationships complicated."
"Exactly. I've read the labor code three times, and it's not very clear. It depends on contracts and collective agreements, and so I've read our collective agreement three times, and it's not forbidden, but…"
"I love Italian food."
Reed Richards stared at her, cut off in the middle of his nervous stammering, with a confused expression before showing a huge smile, which Y/N ​​returned shyly.
It might not have been a good idea, but if they didn't try, they would regret it. Work was already disrupted, and it would be disrupted if they didn't have this meeting to see where it could lead them. In the end, they could find a balance, between their private relationship and at work.
"Kiss her, damn it !"
"Johnny, you're ruining everything." Ben sighed, half hidden behind a car.
"I'm not ruining anything, he's doing just fine on his own ! Ouch… But Susan !"
"He's not good, but I think Richards was going to get there before you broke the moment."
Growling, Reed looked at his teammates who gave him big thumbs ups and nods of encouragement.
He then took Y/N's hand, leading her back into the elevator and pressing the button so they could have some privacy.
"… I read a study that said it's good to wait until the third date to kiss."
"You read a lot."
"Ah, yeah. One of the reasons Susan and I broke up, besides the fact that we didn't love each other that way anymore, was that I wasn't very romantic. I'm trying to work on that."
"A kiss in an elevator is romantic too."
"… Really ? I'll look for a study that…"
"Kiss me."
"Okay."
It was part of her job to guide Doctor Richards and tell him what to do when he forgot or was lost after all.
But after a simple reminder, he did just fine with his mouth and hands, although it seemed that when he was excited, he wrapped his arms everywhere without realizing it.
That would be interesting to study later, after the third date.
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inawearyworld · 9 months
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free if you truly wish to be: chapter iv
shit goes DOWN. as y'all have probably gathered. bc. yknow. the plot of the movie. but first there's a song yayyyyyyyyy
2023!wonka x oc, this chapter ~2.5k
god, i love musicals.
(edit: realized after posting that i was looking at the wrong page of the screenplay while writing this and therefore royally screwed up the song structure of a world of your own but it’s fiiiiiiine)
once again, thank you mat for that interview taking a typical one-dimensional dahl villain and letting him be a more complex character. also i should probably throw a content warning on this one for depiction of a slightly abusive relationship
but i promise everything's gonna be okay soon-happy new year everyone!!
part three fic masterlist part five
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While going through a time of personal growth involving trying to unravel one’s identity from that of one’s rich and powerful husband, it often happens that there are advantages to said husband being wrapped in worry over a new business rival-and, therefore, spending far more time at the office.
Wren’s favorite advantage at the present moment was that she was the only one to watch the mail come in.
Deep purple stationery was the signal she looked for-and steadily received, then returned with her own emerald letters-every day. The notes included scrawled updates regarding the operation to allow the earnest young chocolatier his day in the sun, anecdotes about the group of launderers that supported it (who she’d snuck out to meet often enough that they now felt like a second family), tales of a mysterious orange man, and exchanges of advice, witticisms, and Shakespeare quotes.
The handwriting was inexperienced, and there were more than a fair share of spelling errors toward the start of their correspondence, but she didn’t care a whit.
We’ve got the shop, Willy had written one day. For now, the task is digging through its decrepit debris and designing its decoration. (The credit for those words goes to Noodle-she says hello.) There are so many possibilities, I barely know where to start.
Start with the “why”, Wren wrote back. That’s what I always do. If there’s a piece I’m struggling to sing and I lose motivation to practice, I go back to the reasons I love the piece, even all the way back to the reasons I love the arts in the first place. Maybe there’s something in there for your shop-what made you want to share your chocolate with the world? (And hello to you too, Noodle!)
My dear Wren, came the reply, you’ve just given me the best of ideas.
He told her then about his mother and the inspiration she provided. Wren would be lying if she’d said a tear hadn’t fallen onto that particular letter.
As for how to keep him safe from the Cartel, police, and every other corrupt authority, Wren did her part by becoming Florence again whenever necessary. She acted less suspicious around her husband, leading him to be less secretive-although the gain in information was miniscule, it was better than nothing.
Felix’s rages would range anywhere from tittering, jealous rants to scheming monologues during which his whole being seemed to take on a lower, darker, more calculating tone. She’d listen carefully to all of these, tactfully calling out anything that might get him to consider he was wrong, but that had little to no effect.
Plan B, then, she’d realized, is all I can do.
So, whenever Felix seemed particularly incensed or just on the verge of coming up with how to destroy his rival, Florence would swoop in with wine and dark lipstick and a low-cut dress. She’d endure being his caged pet songbird, his doll, his perfect plaything, only because she had the growing feeling that things were about to change.
If Willy’s shop becomes successful enough to be completely undeniable, maybe the Cartel will finally acknowledge him as an equal. Maybe I’ll finally be seen as an equal, too. Maybe things will finally be truly fine.
So, night after night, she’d sit on her husband’s lap, twirl his tie, and kiss his neck until he’d forgotten the name of Wonka.
The same could not be said for her.
~
Due to just how glamorized she always had to be while in public, it didn’t take much to come up with disguise enough to be able to visit the new shop on its opening day.
With a fluttering sense of hope, Wren approached the fourth building of the Galeries Gourmet, blending in seamlessly with the sea of soon-to-be-wonderstruck passers-by. She cast a few nervous glances to the window of the Fickelgruber office, at which the man stood in his usual stance. There was no chance, though, of his recognizing her trademark ginger flame amongst the crowd; it was safely tucked under a dark, low-brimmed hat.
This could have set her mind at ease, but the fact that he looked even more smug than usual as he surveyed the ground below him made her nervous.
Did they plan something?
She was distracted from this worry by a sudden flash of color at the long-empty shop’s door. Willy Wonka stepped through, looking more himself than she could have ever imagined. He addressed the crowd with a flourish, and she marveled at his ability to combine showmanship with authenticity.
He took a skeptical older man’s arm, leading him to the shop’s entrance, and began to sing.
All at once, the shop transformed before all of their eyes, flooding with color, and the music settled into a sparking pulse that thrilled Wren to the core.
Willy grinned, fully in his element, and the doorway went dark. Gloved hands presented chocolate wonders as their creator sang them into existence. When he lit a match, the store seemed to come alive, and Wren gasped.
If his letter was anything to go by, the sight he had created was an homage to his childhood on his mother’s boat, brought to life in a way nearly too beautiful to be true.
Willy and the other man danced up a bridge of sorts as his song continued, proudly offering his shop as a world for each of his customers to call their own. Overtaken and lifted by the enchanting environment, Wren squealed with the rest of the crowd and ran into the shop, ripping the hat from her head and allowing her auburn curls to tumble freely down.
She threw her head back and laughed aloud. Her lack of makeup, and plain blouse and skirt replacing the usual emerald-colored finery, gave her assurance that she wouldn’t be recognized here; this was the closest thing she’d experienced to liberation in a very long while, and she relished it, along with the sweetly simple soar of Willy’s voice across his song.
When she looked up at him again, he was sitting on the boat that floated on the circling chocolate river, and she noticed he’d already been staring with a sideways grin. As the bassline that came from nowhere launched into a rollicking chromatic vamp, he tipped his hat to her, and she gave an enamored wave.
The second verse passed, and suddenly he’d reached her, extending a hand which she took without a second thought. He helped her onto the boat, then pulled her alarmingly close, but before she could say a thing about it, a cloud of smoke appeared around them.
Wren blinked and realized that she and Willy were now at the base of the massive chocolate tree in the center of the shop.
“How did you-”
But he only smiled and started to dance his way up the tree.
“A world of your own,” he sang, then gestured an invitation straight towards her.
This’ll be easy enough, she thought, nearly bursting with joy.
“A place to escape to,” she continued, running farther up the tree to meet him in the middle. His expression filled with awe upon finally hearing her sing, and they began a whirling back-and-forth.
“A world of your own-”
“-where you can be free!”
“Wherever you go, wherever life takes you…”
“This is your home,” she sang to him, twirling herself into his arms and beaming with pride. He’s found it-he’s created it.
“A world of your own,” they finished. He looked at her for a moment, seeming struck, then kissed her hand and disappeared through the branches of the tree to continue with the song’s bridge. She let out a dazed and happy breath, taking a moment to let her gaze roam the shop from her perch in the chocolate tree.
She didn’t know what would happen next, but she’d be damned if she wouldn’t let herself enjoy this moment.
~
What did happen next was…as an understatement, not what any of them had hoped.
She wished she could say it was a complete surprise, and she wished she could have done more to stop it. The candy started having disastrous effects, the customers understandably balked, and it was clearly not Willy’s fault in the least. In a blur, the shop was in ruins, and Wren sat in shock with the little group who’d worked so hard to make it magical.
The candyman himself was devastated; not just by the massive setback, but by the absence of his mother’s spirit. Wren and Noodle sat by his side, but Abacus ushered them up. It broke Wren’s heart to think of leaving him like this-if the truest and most trusting dreamer on Earth can be broken down, where’s the hope for the rest of us?-but she somehow still felt she had to follow the group out.
She felt a hug around her waist and a held-back sob, and looked down to see Noodle clinging onto her. Wren immediately knelt to her level and hugged the girl close, finding it hard now to keep back her own tears.
“Terrible shame what-”
“Florence?”
Slowly, she opened her eyes, her breath dropping to the floor.
Slugworth had spoken first, a smooth and practiced opening to what would have turned into a gloat. The voice that had interrupted him was genuinely shaken and clearly belonging to her husband.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered to Noodle, who nodded. “You can go, you shouldn’t have to see this-”
“Florence,” his voice came again, at a loss. She took a breath, stood up, and faced him with tears in her voice.
“Hi, Felix.”
Silence.
Slugworth looked with growing puzzlement between the woman and the girl, and Felix could only stare at his wife with dawning realization.
“You’ve been working with him,” he said simply, every usual quirk of inflection having vanished.
For a moment, the wash crew surrounded her in an attempt at a shield, and she heaved a breath to keep back a sob-of fear, of gratefulness for these friends that had become family over the past weeks, of everything suddenly crashing down.
“I’ll be okay,” she said quietly to the wash crew and perhaps to myself. “You all should go. Like you were going to. I’m sorry.”
They didn’t move.
She looked at Piper, whose worried hand was on her arm. There was an unspoken vow of protection between the women in that moment, but Wren’s eyes pleaded, so Piper nodded sadly, took Noodle’s hand, and the group left.
Wren was almost afraid to look at Willy, but she did; the boy was staring at the old chocolate bar in his hands, looking as if he could barely process a thing.
The sympathy in her gaze must have been far too obvious, because she suddenly heard footsteps, felt a hard grip on her wrist, and gasped in pain as it was yanked up and backwards.
“Darling,” Felix hissed with a sinister edge, though his voice was breaking, “I don’t know how or why this betrayal-”
“Betrayal?” she finally cried out, breaking free from his grasp as Willy rushed between them. “You lot have just poisoned dozens of innocent people, all for a business rivalry, and I won’t-”
“If you want your family not to starve, you had better lower your voice,” he barked.
Every speck of air seemed to leave the room.
“...My family?”
“I may have been distracted enough for the past weeks to ignore the mail that came in and out of our house, but I had not always been that blind. I thought your compassion to be an incomprehensible gesture, but I let it slide. When I felt like it.”
…They haven’t gotten everything I’ve sent.
They haven’t-
“In fact,” he continued, “it served as what was almost a pleasant reminder of the truth. For your family, for your stupid dream, and for your sweetly dependent soul-you need me.”
“If you knew I was poor, why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because it’s the same way for me!”
This was the peak of what had been a building explosion, and this was the moment in which they both remembered there were other people in the room.
“What?” the four besides him breathed, almost in unison.
“Oh, you heard right,” Felix launched into speech, the characteristic gestures starting to work their way back into him. “I came from nearly nothing, just the same. But I did what I had to do to climb to the top. I cast them all away, left my old life behind completely, and I suppose it was a foolish hope to think my wife would do the same. But she-but you-you are nothing but a guileless, deceitful bleeding heart.”
“I…”
Tears blurred her vision.
“I am…genuinely sorry that you felt you had to hide your past, but that doesn’t excuse trying to make the rest of the world match your insecurity and fit your little chocolate mold. And if that makes me a bleeding heart…I’m proud of the title.”
For a moment, the man looked as if he would allow his wife’s words to affect him.
Then his face, normally so expressive, turned completely cold.
She’d lost him.
She’d never truly had him to lose.
But she looked at Willy, and she thought of the wash crew, and she realized she finally had a truer support system. And if she could try to start over, find some other way to earn money to send to her family without interception, and some other way to reach the dreams that felt so far away at the moment, she knew Felix would be wrong: she didn’t need him.
After a long silence, Slugworth cleared his throat.
“Get her out of here. We have business with Mr. Wonka.”
What?
Her and the younger man’s eyes widened, and they grabbed each other’s hands on instinct, but a small number of policemen came around the corner of the shop door at Slugworth’s order. They clamped hands on her shoulders and dragged her away from Willy as the Cartel stood silently and watched.
“Wait-wait, no, I-”
“Wren-”
She struggled, fought, kicked, but was forced into the backseat of a police car-
“Let me go, you corrupt bastards-”
“Wren-”
“Let me-”
“Just drop her somewhere in town,” Felix said coolly. “Somewhere that isn’t my home.”
“WREN!”
The car door was slammed, and the last thing she saw was the Cartel advancing on a dazed Willy, opening a suitcase of cash.
All she could do was scream, and the scream turned into a cry.
They did indeed drop her somewhere. She burst out of the car the second it had stopped, and the officers drove away without a word.
Sick with worry and trying to regain her breath, she looked around, almost fainting with relief when she saw the laundry building. Piper, having heard the commotion, stood outside, and they looked at each other for a moment before Wren fell sobbing into her arms.
This is not over.
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spectofdirt · 10 months
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So I don't actually know. How. To make this post in like a way that makes sense because hoo boy I'm running on like pure pain and spite and I have no actual knowledge of things BEYOND of what I'm reading so half of this is me glueing clues together with bullshitted facts anyways
This is the lore I got from Poltergeist's info, and some other extra things (do note that this is based off my own speculations and theories so uh have a spoonful of salt with this):
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Poltergeist (name still unknown (or maybe I missed it I don't trust myself)) is a 15yo spirit who died in the 1960s and haunts her hometown, which is Broward County, Florida
Lowkey estimate her actual birthyear to be around the 1940s or 1950s but idk I never did good in math anyways
In regards to how she actually died, this is how I think shit went down:
There was beach party that was held in Fort Lauderdale, Florida during spring in some year around the 1960s.
Now Polt here isn't very fond of going outside because of how sensitive she is to the sun
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But despite her condition, she always wanted to go out and enjoy life like how she sees other people do in tv.
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So after hearing news about the beach party, she decided that she's going to attend it, just so that she could be like the "popular girls" (judging by her behavior and voicelines, Polt seems to have low self-esteem and always compares herself to other, mostly to actresses on tv and etc)
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Now, it's pretty apparent that Poltergeist died because of drowning, it's even mentioned in her voiceline where she describes what she last saw before passing
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But a part of me wants to say that Poltergeist probably died without anyone noticing, or like yknow, people didn't realized Poltergeist was drowning before it was too late.
The reason why I feel like this is the case is because a majority of Polt's voicelines hints to her wanting to be noticed/not be left behind by (Vertin)
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(I have more picture references but Tumblr is mean to me so imma just type out the rest of the references)
Poltergeist Idle voiceline, continuing from the image above: "Oh my God ... Where are you? Don't leave me alone! Please..."
Poltergeist Night voiceline: "Listen! Did you hear that? The ticking sound of a clock. This... This is too quite. Nobody noticed me. Nobody looked over. I... I..."
But also I'm not that certain about it since it could be just me looking too deep into her timidly behavior
Anyways, after her death, she became the talk of her hometown for a short while, at best a couple of years if not only for a few months
A section of her 03 story interview:
Pandora Wilson: Could you tell me about tour hometown? I mean, Broward County?
Poltergeist: ...Everyone forgot about me...
Poltergeist: It was such a shocking tragedy, but no one remembers it now. They all forgot about me, like I never existed...
Pandora Wilson: Is that why you repeatedly returned to your hometown?
After seeing how she's forgotten by everyone, she returned to her hometown as a poltergeist and started to haunt people at random (there's no actual reference or mention of who she haunts so I'm just assuming it's just the county in general)
A paragraph from her 02 story:
According to the investigation record of the police in Broward County, Florida, theblocal poltergeist incidents which took place from 1960-1965 had the following similarities:
Aaaaand I guess that's it? I don't know if I missed anything important but lemme just throw in trivia facts about Poltergeist in here:
- she mentions that she has a mom but never mentions about her dad at all so I assume that her mom is a single mother? No hints whether her dad is dead, alive or a secret third option so this is the safest assumption.
- apparently??? The octopus in her hair and around her leg is also a ghost???? It was mentioned as her second item. either it points to Poltergeist being dead for a long while before returning as a spirit or something else, I have no real clue
- it's mentioned that Poltergeist picked up a third leg somewhere, specifically she "dig it". I'm just gonna guess that she picked up someone else's leg that was on the ocean floor (apparently there were a lot of drowning cases at Fort Lauderdare so it's not that surprising to find more bodies down there. I'm just curious as to why Poltergeist even took someone's leg while also forgetting that people only have 2 legs.)
And I think that's all that I have. Again, this is just my own speculations and theories, and uh yeah I guess that's all that I can find about Poltergeist from the hit game Reverse 1999. Hey Bluepoch you better give more Poltergeist content soon you better-
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2goldendarkness · 5 months
Text
I usually reblog, rather than make my own posts, but seeing everyone in the gaze community deal with their grief by writing things down has given me some courage to do the same. I hope it will help me in my grieving process and i hope to help everyone who does relate to what i write. So this will be my farewell letter.
Dear Reita,
I got the news seven days too late, like how it usually is for me coming into a fandom.
I became a fan about 8 years ago, i was doing a creative education as a designer, listening to random music on Youtube with autoplay. Suddenly i found Red, the first song that got me into the Gazette, i was glued to my screen and intrigued with the looks of all members. But why the hell was that one guy wearing a band around his nose? I needed to get into it. So i did.
The gazette then became my first and favorite Visual kei band, i’ve been trough a lot in my life and whenever hardship struck me, there was always an interview that would make me laugh. When i had boring days in school we even played a game, my friends would ask me “why is he covering his nose?” And i would make up the weirdest stories on the spot. That resulted in some charms with titles like ‘reita and the smelly drummer.’ And ‘reita the drugs dealer.’ It varied from poking fun and making up the stupidest thing, to making you some cool guy who fought bad guys. It would always make us laugh, even though, i was making up these stories to friends who weren’t even necessarily in the fandom, because everyone who saw you once, knew your name and so knew who you were.
I wrote fanfiction, many in where you play a big part of the story, not as a love interest, but as a brother of a character based off of me. All because you once said in a radio show that you feel like you’d be a great older brother, hell did i take you up on that one.
I never got to see The Gazette live, i used to curse you all for skipping my country and forcing me to travel for 5 hours to see you all. In 2018 i was almost at that point, but i couldn’t go because of my exams and because i had no friends who wanted to come with me. I always promised myself: one day, i will see them.
It hurts me to realize that day will never come, at least you won’t be there anymore. I accidentally open instagram, and find a grief post written by Hiroto of Alice nine, in the hashtags your name. Shock, that’s the first thing i felt. I must be going crazy. But next up was Miyavi’s post and as i read that it slowly starts downing upon me, my heart sinks to my stomach and a lump forms in my throat as i rush to jrocknews to confirm they aren’t just playing a sick joke.
I start crying like most of the sixth guns, but only after i start reading the members messages. Why am i crying? We’ve lost a talented bass player who inspired so many people to also start making music. The world lost ‘the world’s Reita’ who was always poking fun at the drummer. The bookstores lost their most unexpected romance buyer. Many lost their source of love and joy. I’ve lost my fictional brother.
But most importantly, your actual family lost a loving family member who bought his mother an entire house to repay her for raising him well. The Gazette lost a member. Kai lost his fear during interviews of whatever you are going to say next. Ruki lost being in your personal space no matter how big the dressing room. Aoi lost the person who’s jokes he could laugh the hardest about. Uruha lost his longtime best friend, and now can no longer feel your heart racing before the show, nor can he feel your hand searching for his heart.
I hope everyones feelings reach you, i hope that whichever way you passed, was peaceful and without pain. I hope that whenever it is our time, you come in your mustang to pick everyone up. Usually as a driving instructor i call shotgun, but i’ll leave that space to your close relatives. That way i can’t judge you for turning around while parking, rather than using your mirrors.
Thank you for everything Reita, you will never be forgotten. Once my grief is gone, i promise to remember you with a smile rather than cry. I also promise to be a fan of The Gazette no matter what they decide to do now you’re gone.
And to whomever read my entire message, thank you for reading this unhinged post.
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hey-kae · 1 year
Note
Could you please write a drabble Charles x communications manager!reader, just some cute moments of them at work (like him and the reader are the reader are in love with each other and everyone knows it except them). Really in some mood for fluff after yesterday's race😩 I love your writing so much🫶🏽
a/n: communication manager!reader trope my beloved 🫶🏻
Your eyes followed him around as he walked back into the team hospitality and deep down, you were hoping he was okay, but when his eyes looked you way, the stack of paper cups on the table across from you became more interesting.
He didn’t notice you looking but his own gaze lingered on you as you talked to a co-worker, an irrational thought in his mind making him wish you would try to talk to him as more than just a colleague for once, that you would simply come check if he was okay.
You didn’t notice him looking either, but every other person in the room did. Everyone always noticed the way you looked at him and the way he looked at you, but Charles was still oblivious to it all and so were you.
Between you and him, it was really a pile up of small moments that snowballed into something more. He was a co-worker, a boss technically but he never treated you as such.
A few months into working with him, you showed up upset one Sunday. He sat you down in his driver’s room and told you to relax, that he’d listen if you wanted to talk. He brought you coffee and snacks and sat with you in silence until he was called into the garage for a practice session.
Even then, as he walked to the pits, he was still busy on his phone, sending you the link to his cheer-up playlist, which surprisingly worked wonders, considering his go-to music was depressing.
Last season, after a Ferrari strategy disaster-class, you had walked in on him angrily throwing his things around. At first, Charles really expected you to judge him, tell him he’s acting childish, but when you started throwing things with him, he broke out in laughter and hugged to his chest for a second too long.
There was no going back from then on.
This year’s Miami GP was a big point of criticism towards Charles, with the jokes of him being crash prone filling social media, and when during the interview post-qualifying, an interviewer made an out of pocket comment, you had snapped at her, leaving Charles staring at you with an adoring look.
“I think we’re all professionals here and we should always be reminded of our professionalism and supposed objectivity during these interviews. Isn’t that right, miss? I do believe the media pen is not a place for you to project your personal perspective on the drivers’ skills and piloting abilities but since you fail to do that and to maintain a respectful tone, I believe this interview ends here.”
After wrapping up the remaining interviews, you walked alongside Charles back to the hospitality, and he was donning a small smile that had only one explanation.
You stepped inside and went to grab a bottle of water but instead, you were abruptly pulled into the familiar small room with the monegasque flag and the CL on the wall as it’s most prominent characteristics.
Charles was looking at you with a really amused expression and an ever-charming smile that never failed to make your heart beat faster.
“That was-… I love you.” He blurted out when he lost the words he had planned to say, his eyes widening as he realized what he just said.
“What?” Your eyes mirrored his.
“Shit. I shouldn’t have said that, even if i do mean it. Scusi.” Sorry.
“No, I actually think you should say it again.” You laughed and wrapped him in a hug, letting him know you felt the same way about him as he did about you, and as he kissed you as a reaction, you mumbled against his lips, “I have a burner account on Twitter from which i argue with your haters.”
a/n: thanks for you request🤍
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theamityelf · 6 months
Text
(Part of Makoto Kamukura AU, building from something I mentioned in this post, but not reliant on it.)
Kyoko doesn't believe him.
She doesn't believe him when he smiles, or when he laughs– even though he's practiced both, at length –and she doesn't believe him when he says he wants to spend time with her, next.
In fact, when he says he wants to spend time with her, she always responds, "Do you really?" in a snarky deadpan.
But she wants to spend time with him. However much she grimaces and doubts, he knows that she does want to spend time with him. She really wants to spend time with the original Makoto Naegi, but failing that, she does feel sentimentally about her alone time with...whatever is left. He knows it.
Even though she doesn't talk to him the way she would apparently talk to Makoto Naegi, with lengthy explanations and outpourings of her thoughts, so he can't get by just listening. They walk in silence a lot of the time, with sparse dialogue that feels like he's being interviewed. The others don't make him talk as much as she does. Their classmates don't, and the other Kamukuras don't.
He tries to be what she needs. She needs to be convinced, like the others are convinced, but she is the Ultimate Detective. It's harder for her. It's his responsibility to help her. It's his responsibility to overcome her talent.
(He tries to think of it the way they do: That he is Makoto and she is his friend. It would be bad if he thought of it the way Mahiru does: As a noble chore he undertakes out of respect for the one who gave him this body. As if he were maintaining a zoo that Makoto Naegi left for him. He doesn't feel that way. He doesn't feel burdened. He wants to be there for them because he wants to be there for everyone, and he's the only one who can be Makoto Naegi for them.)
So, he does his best to mean it. He tries to feel the joy he smiles with and the humor he laughs with. He tries to feel affinities and wants.
He can't find those feelings much. They come sometimes, when Sayaka hugs him or Taka claps him on the back. Because they mean it. They believe him. Accept him. He's happy to make them happy. He smiles, and it's real.
It's hard to feel happy with Kyoko. And the more he tries, the more she seems to see the inner machinery of how his mind works, and so the less she accepts him, and the harder it is to mean his smiles.
He opts for honesty. He knows she likes honesty.
"I'm trying to feel what I'm supposed to. But it's hard. I'm sorry."
Her cold expression softens slightly. "Do you feel anything else?"
"I..." He performs introspection. "I think so, but it's not useful. It doesn't help me be who I'm supposed to be."
"What do you feel?"
Honesty. "I feel...frustrated." He doesn't like that. Frustration is an angry feeling, and there are no pictures of Makoto Naegi looking angry. There are pictures where his brow is furrowed in concentration. Maybe he should say he feels very focused, instead. No. Honesty. Frustration is the feeling he has.
It's not supposed to be. The first think he feels about Kyoko shouldn't be frustration.
But Kyoko accepts the answer. She doesn't look upset. "Who are you frustrated with?"
"Myself. I'm supposed to be able to help all of you, but I'm having difficulty. I'm not supposed to have difficulty." He's gotten used to talking. It's like she's been training him for this moment.
"Hmm."
"What is it?" Did he answer wrong?
"I wonder if you're sure that's the true answer, and not just the 'correct' answer."
He understands what she's implying. He performs introspection. He realizes that she's right; it isn't really himself that he's frustrated with. But that's even more wrong. It isn't what he's supposed to feel. It's not right.
"Well?" she says.
Honesty. "I'm frustrated with you," he admits very quietly. "That you won't let me make you feel better. The others accept me, and it makes them happier."
Kyoko is just listening, her expression neutral and...receptive. It seems like honesty was the right choice. "Go on."
What else is true? "I...It feels like you're the only one who won't just let me be what you want or expect me to be. And that frustrates me, because...I don't know how to be anything else. I fit the shape of my container; I'm not made to have a shape of my own, and it's frustrating that you're making me try. I wish you would just tell me what you want me to be. Who would make you happiest?"
She takes a step closer. She reaches up and straightens his hoodie strings. "What I don't accept," she says, "is a version of Makoto who exists to please everyone else. The Makoto who never got frustrated with his friends isn't real and never was. But I think you're finding your way toward what is."
He...So, frustration was correct?
Kyoko's hands are on his shoulders, and she's looking him in the eye. Most of the others don't like his eyes. They haven't said it, but he can tell. He's considered wearing colored contact lenses around them, but he hasn't found the right shade yet.
She furrows her brow, but she doesn't look upset. After another second, she steps away and resumes their walk.
But not before remarking, "Everyone smiles for pictures."
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