#and i was so nervous i battled with myself about if i went or not before deciding to go and

[juyeonszn]

EXCITEMENT

PAIRING ji changmin x f!reader

WORD COUNT 6.22k

GENRES smut ﹒angst ﹒fluff

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, best friends to lovers, numerous mentions of the female orgasm, ji changmin is a bit of a manwhore, mentions of alcohol, insane tension my b, intense making out x2, oral (m! and f! receiving), multiple orgasms, couch sex but missionary, unprotected sex (wrap before u fucking tap -_-), creampie, changmin is lowkey very whipped and very pussy drunk in this, also forewarning for every fic in this collab— there is lots of foreshadowing and references to the other fics since they all fall within the same timeline/universe!

SUMMARY you know, when you told your girl friends that you’d never finished before, you were expecting it to blow over like no big deal. what you weren’t expecting was for it to spiral into a whole other mess.

MORE i hope u jichang lovers are strapped in and ready for this… kinda went crazy with it 😭😭 um anyway?? first fic of the black out or back out collab?? crazy!! this fic actually ruined me. it used up all my brain power so if every other one sucks u can’t blame me!! it’s the law!! also, i’d like to take a moment to wish my boyz a very happy 6th anniversary <3 so so proud of all they’ve accomplished these past 6 years and i can’t wait to see what they do in the next 6. in this deobi shit 4L frfr 🙏🙏

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri @deoboyznet @cloverdaisies @vernyangel

TAGLIST @millksea

“No fucking way.”

You blink at Soyeon. It wasn’t that hard to believe. In fact, it was pretty easy to believe. You set down the bowl of popcorn on your lap and nod slowly.

“Uh, yeah. Yes fucking way,” a nervous laugh escapes your lips. “I’ve had to fake it with every guy I’ve ever been with. I don’t know what it is. Maybe something’s wrong with me.”

Men were… incompetent at certain things. And apparently your pleasure was one of those. Every dude you’ve ever slept with failed to make you finish. It was at the point that you felt that you were the problem. It would be understandable if it had been a couple guys, but every single one? Your luck had to be complete ass.

The only reason the topic had been brought up was because Soyeon had mentioned something about her last fling during your movie night. She was talking about how that had been the best sex she's ever had and it spurred you into making your confession. The last guy you’d been with had probably been the worst.

“Never?” Jiwon’s jaw drops, elbows resting on her knees. “How are you still alive, girl? How do you get your fix?”

“My hand, my vibrator, my pillow sometimes,” you shrug, picking at a loose thread on your blanket. “I’ve learned to make do with my situation, I guess. If I can’t get it elsewhere, I’ll just do it myself, y’know?”

Your girl friends look at you with pouts on their lips, as if they were the ones experiencing your misfortunes. You hadn’t even expected it to be such a big deal. You’d thought this was a normal, common occurrence. Boys usually sucked at things when it came to girls. But they all took this as a personal hit, like you were a fallen soldier in battle.

Perhaps the female orgasm was far more important than you assumed it to be.

“Considering who your best friend is, you’d think you were getting good dick left and right,” Dahyun snorts into her glass of wine. “This is actually kinda insane.”

You guess she had a point, despite you both leading very different lives. Changmin, your best friend, was known as one of the many heartthrobs on campus. He was in a fraternity, played on the school’s baseball team, and he even played with other things. Namely the hearts of practically every other girl at your university.

You’d think it would bother you to be so close to a man who couldn’t give less of a fuck about those of the same sex as you. But for some reason, you couldn’t find it in you to care. It’s not like he was bragging about the bitches he bagged on a regular basis. Though you were his best friend, he understood boundaries. He knew what was appropriate to talk about with you and respected that.

Your friends laugh at her observation, but drop the conversation after that, resuming the movie you were watching. However, it’s not that easy for you.

You can’t stop wondering if something really *is wrong with you. Why was it that everyone and their mom was capable of finishing and you weren’t? It was more unlikely that every single man you’ve been with sexually was that mediocre. Were you really that unlucky?

It bothers you so much that you find yourself still thinking about it well into the following week.

With the start of the new semester, came the adjustment of new classes. Even though you were a Communications major, you made the grave mistake of taking Lifespan Growth and Development with Changmin for the extra credit. He was an Early Childhood Education major, so it was a requirement for him, but not for you. (Honestly, he only forced you to take it with him so you had at least one lecture together. He was afraid your friendship might start to fade if you didn’t see each other often.)

Imagine how horrified you felt when your professor began to talk about babies and their circadian rhythm, but the only thing in your head was the fact that you’d never orgasmed because of a man. You felt like you were going crazy at this point. Really, the thought should’ve been long forgotten by now. But you couldn’t help yourself from dwelling on it, especially after your friends made jokes at your expense.

As you’re walking out of the lecture hall side by side with Changmin, you keep your focus on the ground, your hearing going in and out. His voice is staticy, your brain only registering words here and there. You’re a little pissed off that this has become such an issue.

He notices your lack of response and stops walking, eyebrows furrowed. You pause in your tracks along with him. “Are you good? You’ve been spacing out all morning.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you shake your head as if that would rid of these stupid thoughts. “I’m just a little tired, I guess. I haven’t been getting much sleep.”

“Well, you better fix that. We’re expecting this weekend’s party to be one of the bigger ones this semester. Juyeon’s passing those fliers around like it’s his job,” Changmin purses his lips with a snort, ruffling your hair. “I need my beer pong partner to be in tip-top shape.”

You scratch the back of your neck. Half of you was kind of hesitant to go to this weekend’s TBZ party considering that was where you met the dude who started this whole downward spiral. He made an offhand comment about seeing you again, but you were actually hoping that would never happen. And with your fortune, the probability of running into him was pretty high.

“You see…“ You begin, but Changmin interrupts you with a distressed groan before you can continue.

“Don’t tell me you’re thinking of flaking,” his arms fall to his sides as his head tips back dramatically. “Y/N, I really need you there. How else am I gonna smoke everyone? I need— I mean we need to keep our title.”

Sometimes you wish Ji Changmin took anything else as seriously as he takes beer pong. You suppose it came with being a fraternity brother or something. They all drank alcohol like it was fucking water. You’re still sort of surprised none of them (Sunwoo) has gotten alcohol poisoning yet.

“I’m just… trying to avoid someone. And they’ll probably be there.” You sigh, fiddling with your fingers. Your best friend gives you an unreadable look that flashes across his face only for a moment.

“Tell me who it is. I’ll make sure they’re not allowed in. I’d much rather have you there than some rando who’s bugging you.” He says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his cargo pants.

“That’s really unne—“

“Yo, Changmin! Aren’t you going with us to Cobie’s?”

You both turn towards the sudden intrusion, the voice belonging to Eric Sohn. He’s around 50 feet away from where you’re standing, joined by Kim Sunwoo and Ju Haknyeon. Changmin yells out his answer and spins back to you, an apologetic smile on his face. Somehow, you’re a little grateful for the interruption.

“We’ll finish this later, okay?” He nods at you, heading backwards in their direction. “You’re going, Y/N.”

You really should’ve listened to your instincts when they told you to skip out on the party.

You’re well aware that every attendee was crucial for the TBZ boys and their stupid rivalry with the KAT girls. So maybe you understood why Changmin needed you there so badly, aside from the obvious beer pong thing. However, you were starting to regret showing up.

First of all, Ji Changmin was nowhere to be found. Second of all, Jeon Soyeon was hounding you all night about the secret you so idiotically shared with your gal pals.

She was dead set on finding you a solution. (Basically, she was scanning the crowd of partygoers for a suitable man to satisfy your overdue needs. And she was proving devastatingly unsuccessful.)

You were too anxious to drink, also. Your feet were bouncing from where you sat on the couch, and your fingers couldn’t stop fidgeting. The antsiness was getting annoying at this point and you were hoping your knight in shining armor (Ji Changmin) revealed himself soon. Lest he wanted to lose out on his beloved beer pong partner.

It appears that your years of honing in on your manifestation powers have finally come to fruition when you spot Younghoon and Juyeon hauling the beer pong table into the living room. Where one of those tables are stationed, you know you’re guaranteed to find your best friend. The shorter of the two gentle giants cups his hands around his mouth and announces the first round of tonight’s tournament.

You stand from your seat, grabbing the opportunity to break free of Soyeon’s efforts to pimp you out. You’re ready to confirm you and Changmin’s spot in the tournament, when you see that you’ve already been beaten to it. It takes absolutely everything in you not to let your jaw drop and your eyes to tear up.

Some girl who happens to be in your Lifespan Growth and Dev class (you think her name is Iseul) is draped over Changmin’s arm, signing them up for the first round. He doesn’t look like he wants to, but makes no effort to refuse her.

You don’t know why it irks you. It shouldn’t irk you.

You’ve never cared about who he spends his free time with in the past. It’s been so easy for you to let his behavior slide, brushing it under the rug like it was no biggie. But this time, you care a whole lot. You chalk it up to the fact that he was seemingly replacing you as his beer pong partner, even though that was the entire reason why he wanted you to come to the party.

Yeah. That’s why.

Your tongue darts out to wet your lips just as Hyunjae passes by, no doubtedly heading to the beer pong table. You catch the sleeve of his polo and force him to halt in his steps. You’re not even sure why the hell he’s wearing a polo in the first place, his outfit embodying the stereotypical frat boy perfectly. This looked nothing like his usual wardrobe.

“Oh, hey Y/N, what’s up?” He smiles that award-winning Hyunjae smile, the one that manages to charm every girl in the room every single time he pulls it out. He brings the brim of his red solo cup up to his lips and finishes whatever’s left in it with one swig. Maybe this was a bad idea.

“Do you wanna be my beer pong partner?” Okay, well now you’ve said it so there’s no going back.

His eyebrow shoots up in a mixture of shock and pleasant surprise. “Me? You’re not gonna ask Changmin?”

“He’s…” Your eyes flitter over to where he stands with Iseul(?), Hyunjae’s following. No. You’re okay. This isn’t getting to your head at all. Everything’s cool and peachy. “He’s too preoccupied.”

Hyunjae chooses not to say anything, instead nudging you over to the opposite end of the table. Changmin’s eyes widen when he sees the two of you, even having the audacity to look scandalized. God, maybe that was his biggest fault. He was so entitled.

So, it was just fine for him to bail on you in favor of some girl he didn’t even know, but the second you talk to one of his frat brothers, it’s off the table? What a fucking hypocrite. The whole ordeal was actually beginning to get on your nerves now. All you wanted to do was win this stupid beer pong game to show him that he’ll never find a partner as good as you.

Woah. Holy shit, Y/N. You need to dial it back a bit with the possessiveness. That was a lot, especially for you.

Juyeon narrows his eyes at you and then glances over to Changmin, the cogs turning in his head slowly. You’re not sure if that’s because he’s so used to seeing you both on the same side of the beer pong table, or because his vision was so shitty. Either way, it has you cowering behind Hyunjae a little as he dips the ping pong ball into the cup of water in the center.

“Okay, you know the rules. Let’s have a healthy, friendly game,” Younghoon says, tapping the table with a smile. “No playing dirty. I’m looking at you, Hyunjae.”

The brunette raises his hands in surrender, doing a quick bout of rock, paper, scissors with Changmin to determine which team went first. He wins with a quirk of his lips, sauntering back over to you. After rolling his neck around and popping his fingers, he tosses the ball right into Changmin and Iseul’s center cup.

You hate to admit it, but Hyunjae’s actually pretty good at this. You’ve never really paid attention to anyone else’s beer pong skills considering you’ve only ever played with Changmin as your partner. Who knows, maybe you’ll switch over permanently after this. At least, you might if he keeps up whatever it is that he’s doing.

Your best friend’s jaw tightens as he grabs the red solo cup, chugging what’s inside. He huffs and takes his turn, nearly missing with the way the ball circles around the rim. He sighs in relief at the same time you grimace. You still hadn’t had anything to drink all night and starting with fucking beer was probably the worst idea.

The game probably would’ve been a bit more competitive had Iseul been decent at beer pong, but she sucked. So Hyunjae and yourself always kept your lead by one cup or more. Karma is a dish best served cold, or however the saying goes. And karma certainly presented itself in the form of Ji Changmin’s first ever TBZ beer pong tournament loss.

Hyunjae high fives you with a cheesy grin, lacing your fingers together and shaking them around. He presses a kiss to your temple and guides you away from the table as Juyeon and Younghoon clear it for the second round. It wasn’t odd for any of the TBZ boys to show you affection since you were like a sister to most of them, but this felt… kind of weird. You can’t pinpoint exactly why, but it made you feel off.

“You’re my secret weapon,” he laughs, hands burying into the pockets of his khaki shorts. “I’m gonna steal you as my partner permanently.”

As much as you joked around in your head, the truth of the matter was that you could never actually replace Changmin. In spite of him acting like a complete dumbass tonight, he was still your best friend. Not even the biggest of fights would change that fact.

Before you can dismiss him, Changmin is stalking over to you with a slight scowl. His nostrils flare a bit as he asks, “Can we talk?”

You barely nod and then he’s fisting the material of your top at the small of your back, urging you away from the living room. Your feet keep tripping over themselves while you attempt to match his pace but he’s too determined to reach his destination in mind to even notice. No one even bats an eye as you get ushered to your demise.

You’re coaxed into a nearby bathroom without a word, your best friend standing in front of you with his arms crossed over his chest. Because you hadn’t seen him a majority of the night, you hadn’t gotten the chance to get a good look at him. He was wearing a long sleeve striped polo and some baggy jeans, which probably would look basic on anyone else. But this is Ji Changmin. Girls flocked after him for a reason.

“Why would you play with Hyunjae? You know the type of guy he is. Now he thinks he has a shot with you or something.” As soon as he opens his mouth, you remember the type of guy he is.

“What does it matter to you? You were too busy giggling with your flavor of the week. Of course I wasn’t gonna wait around for you.” You bite back, mirroring his stance.

“Flavor of the—?” His eyebrows scrunch together in confusion and then everything settles in. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” you laugh humorlessly. “Don’t act all hypocritical with me, Changmin. I can’t believe I even came to this fucking party for you when you didn’t even bother giving me the same energy. Best friend, my ass.”

A scoff brushes past your lips and you turn to exit the bathroom, but he grabs your wrist. His grip isn’t too harsh, but it’s tight enough to stop you from going anywhere. “Wait. Don’t leave.”

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t.” Your eyes flick back and forth between his and the fingers wrapped around your forearm. And you know, you really should’ve predicted what would happen after that. The nature of your words were provocative in their own right, not to mention the tension brewing in the midst of your argument.

From one second to the next, Changmin’s mouth is on your own, your back pressed to the bathroom door. His hands are everywhere and nowhere all at once; digging into your sides, running through your hair, caressing your face. You feel insane. Your head feels empty, no coherent thoughts running through it as his lips move against yours.

They migrate along your jaw and down your neck, nipping and sucking wherever they feel fit. Everything is moving way too fast for you to comprehend what’s happening. His lips feel so good on your skin, you’re having trouble finding the strength in you to stop him. But you know you have to. This was your best friend, for god’s sake. And besides, you didn’t want to deal with the disappointment you’ve faced time and time again when it came to men. You couldn’t handle feeling that way toward him.

Your palm presses against his chest and you try your hardest to ignore the sensation of his heart thumping beneath it. Your eyes squeeze shut as you push him off of you gently. Not expecting the sudden disruption, he stumbles backwards slightly. He’s a little dazed, like he, too, has not a single thought in that brain of his.

“I can’t— we can’t—“ You’re breathless, heaving up and down as if you’d just ran a damn marathon. “I have to go.”

You don’t give Changmin any freedom to react, escaping the bathroom exasperated. There’s too much going through your mind to search for Soyeon, leaving the party as quickly as you can. The moment your foot steps out of the front door, it’s like you’re given some clarity. The fresh air feels cool on your warm skin while you take the walk back to your apartment, not in the mood to sit in a stuffy car with anyone else. You needed to think clearly and vulnerably, and someone being there would just hinder that.

But first, you had to figure out where to go from here.

It’s been a couple days since the last TBZ party and you were still avoiding Ji Changmin like he was the plague.

You were definitely wishful thinking when you decided to just ignore things until you had class together. And even then, you were planning on pretending like nothing even happened. Fucking up your friendship with him was something you couldn’t stand emotionally. Or physically. It would be akin to the pain of having your heart ripped straight from your chest.

Meeting Changmin when you did was almost like a blessing in disguise. His attitude about life was exactly what you needed coming into university. You were shy and scared of your new surroundings. You had no friends, you were far from your family, and your imposter syndrome was through the roof. But then he swooped in and made everything better somehow. As much as it was a snooze fest, you’ll eternally be a little bit grateful for sharing that First Year Seminar class with him.

Deep down, a piece of you has always belonged to Changmin. From that first day of freshman year to now, you’ve always held him to a different standard than everyone else. You liked to believe it was because he was your best friend, the one person who sought you out even when it felt like no one ever would. And until very recently, you kept trying to convince yourself that was the case.

If you slept together that might be worse. What if he ended up like every other guy you’ve landed in bed with? What if he couldn’t satisfy you? It would make it even more strained. You didn’t want to end up like every other girl who’s vied for his heart and failed miserably. He wasn’t a relationship person.

Falling for him alone would complicate everything. If he didn’t feel the same, it would be weird between you and your friendship would never go back to normal. Yet as you lay here, body bundled in your comforter and drowning in one of the many sweatshirts he’s left over at your apartment, scrolling through his feed, you realize that there’s no return from this point. Now that you’ve contemplated the idea, you’re too far in.

You know, the universe had funny ways of rewarding you. (Or rather, punishing you.)

There’s a knock at your front door. You’re not entirely sure who it could be since you weren’t expecting anyone, but one glance through the peephole and it’s all over for you. You consider stepping away, running and cowering in your bedroom until he disappears so you can go back to dissimulating that your entire life wasn’t crumbling to your feet.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there. Open up, please, we need to talk.”

You curse under your breath but unlock the door anyway, maneuvering so he can come inside with ease. Changmin stares at you with an unreadable expression for a minute, vision raking over your figure. Maybe you’re imagining it, but it’s something similar to how men have looked at you before, like they were undressing you with their eyes. That’s when you remember that you were wearing his sweatshirt.

Without pants underneath…

The wind knocks out of him in an instant, something primal coming over him when his gaze lands on you in his clothing. He knows he shouldn’t think about you the way he does. He shouldn’t think of how pretty you are when your pen is caught in your teeth, attempting to make sense of whatever your professor was talking about. He shouldn’t think of the way your cheeks flush when you’ve had too much alcohol at one of the TBZ parties. He shouldn’t think of kissing you, or pressing up against you like a dog in heat. He shouldn’t be thinking of the kiss you shared Friday night.

You’re his best friend, the one person in the world who has ever understood him. The one who’s always glued to his side even when he may be in the wrong. Why would he ever want something different? How could he ask for more when he should be thankful for what he was already given?

“Why are you pushing me away? Why are you ignoring me?” Is what he finally asks after the silence has become unbearable.

“Changmin,” you swallow thickly, hesitative with what you say next. “Friends don’t kiss— we don’t kiss.”

He takes a step forward, and then another, and then another until he’s only arms’ length from you. “But, we could.”

You release a shuddery breath, reaching out to stop him from coming any closer. “P-Please. We can’t do this— I can’t do this.”

“Why not?” He pushes. He knows he’s tiptoeing the edge of something else. There’s a fine line between what you have now, and what he’s wanted for so long. It’s always been a matter of if you wanted that too. “Is it because you just don’t want to?”

You’re not even sure how to respond to him. Of course you want this. It isn’t that you don’t want him. You’re more scared than anything. You’re scared of becoming just another victim of Ji Changmin’s charms, of giving into him and it leading to another let down. Your resistance is evident on your face, and you’re not all that taken aback when he sighs.

“I’ve wanted you since that first day of First Year Seminar, Y/N. No one has ever compared to you and no one ever will,” he confesses, a hand coming up to cup your cheek. “I sleep with random girls to get you off my mind, to forget that I’m pretty fucking in love with my best friend.”

Then it all clicks.

It’s like you’ve come to the biggest realization of your life, an epiphany striking you suddenly with the weight of a freight train. It all trickles into place, the reason why you’ve never enjoyed yourself during sex. The reason why you’ve never finished at the hands of any man you’ve been with intimately.

None of them were Ji Changmin. None of them were the best friend that your heart has belonged to since your freshman year.

You press your lips to his without any warning, nearly colliding into him with the force of your impatience. He reciprocates immediately, fingers tangling in your hair and holding you closer than physically possible. You tilt your head to deepen the kiss, tongue dragging along his lower lip. Years of repressed longing and pining find themselves surfacing in this one kiss.

Changmin’s hands travel to your waist, burrowing into the fabric of his sweatshirt as he yanks you toward the couch. He falls to a sitting position when the backs of his knees hit the edge, your knees resting on either side of his lap. You don’t break apart once, not even to gasp for air as he grinds you down onto him. Through the material of his cargos you can feel him. He’s just as throbbing as you are, your core pulsing with a need unlike any other.

His fingers reach for the hem of the sweatshirt and that’s when you pause him, your nerves getting the best of you. He frowns. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just,” admitting this a second time isn’t easier. “I’ve never— nobody’s ever made me… you know…”

The corners of his lips curl up, thumbs rubbing the backs of your thighs. “You’ve never came before, baby?”

Your breathing stutters in your chest, the smugness of his voice sending shockwaves through your body. You should’ve fully expected him to be a master at pillowtalk, what with the whole Sex-God persona and all that jazz, but it still catches you off guard. You shake your head shyly, arms hooked around his neck. His mouth attaches to the spot behind your ear, sucking the skin tenderly.

“I’ll make sure you’re ruined for anyone else,” his voice is no louder than a whisper, but sounds deafening to the cotton stuffing the place where your brain should be. “I’ll make you feel so good, you won’t think twice about who you belong to.”

A small whine emits from your throat, hips gyrating themselves onto his crotch. He bucks up into you instinctively, keeping you still on his lap. The sheer possessiveness of his tone is driving you up the wall. That seemed to be something you had in common with each other. You’re lightheaded, too many layers of clothing blocking the space between you. Changmin connects your lips again, sliding his hands beneath the sweatshirt so his fingers can hook into the waistband of your panties.

He helps you out of them and your top, baring your entire body to him. The way his cock twitches makes him feel like a goddamn teenager. You paw at the zipper of his pants as he pulls off his t-shirt, tugging the cargos down his legs so you can kneel between them. If he thought he wasn’t going to last before, he’s certain of it now. He wraps your hair around his fist in a makeshift ponytail, watching you with hooded eyes as you kiss his tip.

“You look so gorgeous like this,” his voice is wavering, his composure drifting off.

That encourages you to take him into the wet heat of your mouth, tongue twirling around the tip. You run it along his slit, tasting the precum that had formed there. His head falls back onto the sofa cushions, jerking his hand back a bit and tugging your hair just enough for it to sting. You moan around his dick, the pain providing more pleasure than its intended purpose.

He bucks up into your mouth yet again, his length gliding down your throat. Not prepared for the intrusion, you gag, pulling off of his cock with a string of saliva bridging your lips to the tip. Tears prick at your eyes for a second, and then you’re going back in.

This time you manage to relax your throat, fitting more than you could prior. Changmin’s eyes are half lidded, not once daring to look anywhere that wasn’t you. The sight of you so eager to please, so desperate to reward him in spite of you being the one who’s never orgasmed before, was clouding his thinking.

The image of you on your knees, sucking him off like your life depended on it, would be burned into his brain for the rest of his life. (Not that he minded. You lived there practically rent free, anyways.)

Your attention stays on the tip of his cock, tongue repeatedly alternating with dragging under the head and the slit on top. He could die happily, actually, the fear that he may never have you in this way finally dissipating into thin air. Want could only take a man so far.

He doesn’t stay sentimental for very long, remembering that you were currently between his legs and the inner monologue could wait for later. Though, he makes the grave mistake of making direct eye contact with you and it’s game over after that point.

Changmin finishes with a groan, his cum painting your chest with milky white ropes. He cups both sides of your face, bringing you up to kiss you messily. He doesn’t care that he can taste himself in your mouth, nipping your bottom lip to pry it open. The two of you swap spots, with him now on the floor and you on the couch. He pushes up your knees, spreading them to gain access to your cunt, glistening with your slick.

He presses a soft kiss to your clit, glancing up at you through his lashes to gauge your reaction. He not only had a reputation to defend, but he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was going to be the first man to make you cum. But it wasn’t sufficient to just fuck you, he needed to do more than that. He needed to flood your senses and show you exactly what you’ve been missing out on.

His tongue circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves, his ring and middle fingers going counter-clockwise on your entrance. He can hear the laboring of your breathing, the sharp exhale through your nostrils when he experimentally slides one of them inside of you. He starts to pump it slowly, building up the pace until he adds the other finger, curling them.

You whine when Changmin’s lips envelope your clit, suckling like a man starved. His fingers south don’t halt their assault, the palm of his other hand flattening on your lower stomach. You reach down to card through his hair, clutching the strands for support. He groans against your pussy, the vibrations contributing to the knot growing tighter in your abdomen.

He switches his tongue and fingers a moment later, lapping at your hole and swiping at your clit in a close ovular pattern with his thumb. You’re dizzy, lids fluttering shut and back arching off the cushions in a weak attempt to minimize the space between you. Changmin pins down your hips with his forearm, continuing making out with your cunt.

He flips the stimulation once more, mouth on your clit and fingers buried deep inside of you in an instant. He keeps his eyes on you, focused on every scrunch of your face and slacking of your jaw. The sudden difference in sensations has a loud moan ripping from your vocal cords, that knot coming undone almost too quickly for it being your first time in this position. You feel his lips turn up in a smile, like he’s proud of himself for doing the impossible.

Changmin pulls back slightly, his fingers still working you down from your peak. When he thinks you’ve calmed, he’s up and kissing you, petting your hair gently. “You did so well for me, baby.”

“I’ve made myself cum so many times before, but never like that— holy shit, Changmin…” You’re a little stunned and he finds it cute, despite you both being in such a compromising situation.

“I need you to give me one more, is that okay?” He lays you on your back, hovering over you. “I wanna see your pretty face when you cum on my cock.”

You pull him down for another kiss, pecking the side of his neck with a hum. “Want you to fill me up, too.”

The groan that leaves him is guttural, his forehead falling onto your collarbone. Dreams really do come true. He hikes up one of your legs, lining himself up with you. He guides his cock into you and watches you for any moves of discomfort. A whimper bubbles past as he slips in, bottoming out smoothly. Half of you still couldn’t believe this was happening. No fucking way was Ji Changmin on top of you right now, dick compressed in your cunt to the hilt.

He holds your knee to your chest as he begins to thrust his hips, driving his cock deep from the get go. Each motion jostles you further up the sofa, but you’re too gone to care. Your eyes have started to roll to the back of your head and you already feel that pressure rising in the pit of your stomach.

At this rate, you’re not sure you’ll last very long. You’re still extremely sensitive from your first orgasm and Changmin’s plowing into you like he might never get the chance to do it again.

“You’re so— fuck— you’re so tight, baby… Squeezing me in like you don’t wanna let me go,” he rasps, trailing open mouthed kisses along your jaw and carrying them down your jugular.

You moan something about how deep he is, about how you can feel him everywhere. It’s too much. It’s not enough. And despite him giving you everything he has to offer, you crave more. You’re yearning for more.

Something in you snaps and you’re cradling his face in your hands. “Love you so much, Changmin. Wanna be with you forever.”

His eyes widen at your off-kilter confession, but he doesn’t cease once. If anything, his speed increases as he kisses you passionately, noses bumping but so far on the spectrum from the others. This one is more emotional, more meaningful. It’s not long before he’s spilling into you, moaning against your lips. You follow closely behind, your second orgasm cresting like a tidal wave.

You stay like that for a minute, both of you soaking it all in. Your chests meet in the middle with each breath you take.

Changmin pulls out of you carefully, laying so you can rest comfortably on top of him. A smile inches across his feature, like he was on the inside of a joke you weren’t. You raise an eyebrow at him.

“What…”

“Nothing, it’s just,” he brushes some of your hair from your forehead to leave a smooch there. “I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you how I felt for a while now. I just wanted to assure that you wouldn’t scream in my face and run the opposite direction. But you went ahead and beat me to it.”

“You meant what you said about the other girls?” You nibble at the skin of your cheek, nervous. “You slept with them to distract yourself from me? Even Iseul?”

He nods, albeit a little shamefully. “Not my proudest moment, I’ll say. I could’ve gone about it a million other ways. But yeah, I didn’t want to ruin what we had. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you just because I couldn’t get my feelings in check.”

“You’re stupid,” you laugh, cuddling further into him. “It’s a good thing I’m kind of into that.”

“Kind of?” He quirks a brow at you. “I don’t know, you were saying something about loving me so much and wanting to be with me forever earlier…”

You smack his chest playfully. “Shut up. That was a moment of weakness or whatever.”

“It’s okay,” he smiles at you fondly, as if you were the reason that the sun shone so brightly. “I love you, too. And I wouldn’t mind being with you forever.”

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[hollisiguess]

im bored so y’all are getting some hazbin hcs

Alastor is aroace and agender but he does not know it he has no clue what ANY of those words mean

Rosie actually knows that Alastor is all of those but to fuck with him she doesn’t tell him however she will from time to time call him one of those (for example when she says she knows Alastor is an ace in the hole)

Alastor and Rosie are in a qpr!

Velvette and Vox are besties they will gossip about everyone and everything

Velvette is a non-binary lesbian who uses she/her

EVERYONE in hell assume that the vees are a polycule and for the chaos they never correct anyone

Velvette barely tolerates Valentino and would like to beat the shit out of him at any given time

Ok I have to restrain myself with Velvette so last one even though Vox has beef with Alastor to everyone’s shock she hangs out with him every once and a while over some tea

Lute is aroace but she and Adam are « dating » bc people kept asking Lute out would never take no for an answer and it was making her uncomfortable

Despite everything Adam does care for Lute and is a good friend towards her hence why he agreed to the fake dating plan

Vaggie before getting her wings back would get HORRIBLE phantom pain from them and whenever Charlie would ask what was up she would always dodge the questions and Charlie wanting to respect her gfs boundaries wouldn’t push to much

Vaggies love language is acts of service and Charlie’s is physical touch

Charlie ADORES Vaggies wings she thinks they make her gf even more gorgeous then she already is

Vaggie is actually insecure of her wings as they remind her of a past she’s rather forget but Charlie fawning over them does make her like her wings a bit more

If Charlie is cold Vaggie will use her wings to make her warmer

After the battle against the exorcist Vaggie went back to thank Carmilla for her help and the two got to talking and ended bonding now they meet weekly at Carmillas to practice battle together (the both enjoy it greatly) and sometimes it leads to Vaggie staying for dinner

Carmilla Carmine is essentially Vaggies mom/mentor

Vaggie bonded with Carmillas daughters and they see eachother as sisters

Charlie will sometimes head over to cannibal town to give Rosie a visit and she now calls Rosie Auntie all the time

Vaggie brought Charlie to meet Carmilla and Charlie brought Vaggie to meet Rosie (both were super nervous to meet each others respective mom/aunt figure worried they wouldn’t approve)

Husk and Cherri used to hate eachother but after Angel forced them to hang out they grew to like eachother in a I hate u and hope u die/affectionate type of way

Angel does Cherris hair and I will not elaborate

Angel can’t cook for shit and almost set the hotel on fire many times (he’s now banned from the kitchen)

Vaggie however is a great chef!

Husk taught all the members of the hotel who didn’t already know how to play poker, poker

The hotel guests now have game night which is usually the entire cast struggling while Alastor, Husk and Vaggie sweep and have a rivalry between themselves the others are trying tho!

Alastor also taught the residents chess

Nifty eats the pieces

Im not elaborating on that last one

Vaggie and Angel actually like one another (PLATONICALLY) even considering one another one of their closest friends but neither would ever admit it out loud

Alright now that that's said Angel and Vaggie have mini cooking lessons in secret (WITHOUT ANY FIRE for safety reasons ofc) so Angel can make food for his friends

Lucifer and Vaggie actually bonded a lot especially given both are fallen angels

When Lucifer found out why Vaggie was cast out and how Vaggie had to physically restrain him from (somehow don’t question how he'd even be able to get to heaven to do it) beating the shit out of Lute

Shickingly Lucifer, nifty and Husk are friends and hang out

in fact Lucifer knew Husk before the hotel and had already grown fond of him

Sir Pentious and Charlie are besties

Charlie was the first person who Sir Pentious actually told he liked Cherri (the others still knew but like he actually told Charlie)

Sir Pentious makes Alastor babysit the egg bois after the outing he had with them a while back

Sir Pentious does like Emily but she kinda makes him sad as she reminds him so much of Charlie and he cant see her anymore given she's currently in hell

Razzle was always super attached to Charlie but Dazzle wierdly enough got super attached to Vaggie making her even angrier with Lute when she killed him

Imma end the hcs here cause this is already a shit tone lol

[yunjinkisses]

heyyy, can i request g!p minji having a wet dream about y/n? thank you so much!

G!P MINJI X 6th MEMBER F READER

what’s ahead:wet dreams,creampie,praising,soft dom minji

enjoy!

“we can take a break from practicing guys!”

danielle spoke up happily , we all sighed from exhaustion,as all the members were leaving i hung back and stopped y/n

“hey y/n-ah,do you wanna come back to my room and watch a movie with me,maybe?”

“oh of course i would! that sounds awesome!”

she smiled brightly and lit up,i smiled back and got excited , i took her hand and lead her to my room

we sat down on the couch and selected a movie , y/n got some snacks before hand,she started up the movie of choice and we watched intensely

after a while we were cuddling up against eachother and y/n was drifting off to sleep but than a certain scene had came on that had woke her up ,and caught my attention as-well, we shifted our positions to sitting straight up and awkwardly looking around the room , the scene that was displaying on the screen was a sex scene between the two girls that were love interests , neither of us had watched this movie before so we didn’t know that this scene was in the movie.

she had rested her hand on my inner thigh and scooted closer to me , i was getting more nervous and excited, as the tent in my pants was rising. I was trying to hide it by covering it with my hands.

she looked at me with a very different smile ,almost seductive..?

“you don’t have to hide it you know minji..”

i removed my hands slowly , and she grabbed my face to face her own,we were looking at eachother with lust now in our eyes , we slowly inched closer to eachother and our lips landed on eachothers

our tongues were battling for dominance with eachother , i won the battle ,she was whimpering and squirming , i ended up ontop of her on the couch , with my hands pinning hers above her head.

we had stopped kissing and looked at eachother with the same look in our eyes.

“can i..uhm..undress you?”

she giggled a bit and nodded

at her indication , i had started to undress her and myself until we were almost fully naked,only leaving us in our underwear,me in my boxers,leaving my hard cock more and more obvious.

i had started to pull down my boxers to reveal my hard 7 inch dick,her eyes had widened at the sight, i looked away in nervousness

“d-don’t stare..”

she giggled a bit

“sorry minji..you’re just so big..and i’ve never done this before so..be careful p-please?”

i smiled and looked at her softly

“i-it’s my first time too,i-i’ll be careful i promise..”

i started to rub my dick on her clothed cunt , i could already feel how wet she was through her panties , she started to whimper and moan just by me doing this

“m-minji..don’t tease..please?”

i giggled softly and started to pull down her panties and aligned myself with her cunt , teasing my tip with her entrance

“m-minji..no t-teasing..”

i smiled and grabbed her hips,slowly inserting my length into her wet cunt , the feeling felt heavenly ,we both had moaned in unison

“f-fuck..minji..please..”

“princess wants more? alright baby..”

i started to move slowly inside y/n’s tight cunt , groaning a little and moaning at how good she felt around me,my cock was twitching at how amazing she had felt

“oh my god..fuck..y-y/n you’re so t-tight..feels s-so good..”

my rhythm started to get faster and harder as i went , she started to whine and moan louder the faster i went

“i-is this o-okay?” i asked through my moans

she struggled to speak

“f-fuck yes..m-minji i’m gonna c-cum..fuck!~”

“f-fuck me t-too…c-can i cum inside d-darling?”

she smiled softly whining a bit nodding,i thrusted a few more times and came inside her

and than i jotted up from my bed awaking from my sleep

“god fucking damnit..”

aggravated that it was just a dream my frustration was cut off by danielle yelling out for me to wake up to come to practice

“o-oh c-coming!-“

[save-the-villainous-cat]

mother alina, i subject myself to horny jail…may we get more spicy bondage smut? preferably where the hero is the one being bound…….

"I feel like you're getting too comfortable around me." The villain shook their head, disappointed even.

"A trap, how original."

"You're starting to lose your edge." The villain eyed their nemesis bound by rope. Months ago, the villain had come up with it, had almost triggered it themselves. Weeks of research and testing had gotten into it. Thank god, their hero was the one to end up in it. “I may have to get a new nemesis. Someone smarter."

The villain's eyes went over the hero's red face and they could tell they were pushing the right buttons. Ultimately, they took another step forward, only a few inches away from their all-time favourite. They grabbed the hero's biceps and squeezed, teasing them.

"Someone a little stronger."

"Oh please." The hero frowned. "Where are you gonna find someone like that? Start searching on Mars."

"Someone with better comebacks..." The villain let go of them and pretended to be deep in thought. Meanwhile, the hero struggled, trying to get themselves out of the mess they had gotten into. "But I'd still like to keep you as a pet, if that's alright with you."

With too much amusement, the villain watched as the hero's ears turned red as well. Their grunts were a little too distracting for the villain's taste but, really, they didn't mind. God, the hero had some nerves. Not fighting them for four days straight - that was a record. The villain wanted to pretend like they didn't care but it became increasingly difficult to hide their feelings.

"You know-" another step "-my love-" they grabbed the hero's jaw and pulled them close "-if you apologise nicely for ignoring our dates, I might let you go."

"Dates?" The hero started giggling as they stared into the villain's eyes. Suddenly, they had turned into a nervous wreck, instead of the dangerous individual that could put ten criminals behind bars within a week.

The hero was a force to be reckoned with and the villain was surprised that they hadn't seen a prison cell from the inside yet. They liked to think that the hero preferred their encounters over justice.

"Where were you?"

"Oh, you're serious about this?" The villain tilted their head and let go of the hero's jaw. They rolled with their eyes. Was it that much of an utopian thought? That the villain had actually missed their nemesis? That they wanted to know about their days? That they prayed no one had touched their nemesis?

"Yes. And if you don't want me to throw you like this into the river, you better have answers." The villain was done with the games and they needed to know what had happened to the hero.

Their nemesis smiled lazily, as if they enjoyed this.

"Well, if you want answers, you should give me a ki-" The villain grabbed their jaw again and kissed the hero hard. Honestly, they hadn't expected their first kiss to be like this.

Once or twice they had thought about it. They had expected it to be after a rough battle as an apology. Or when the villain saved the hero. Or maybe after a really bad argument. Well, maybe they had thought about it more than twice.

It was all so different from what they had expected. The hero was gentler, they tasted sweeter than the villain had imagined and the villain themselves was...scarily nervous. If the hero had found someone else...

The villain pulled away, eyes wide.

"If you meant a kick instead of kiss, I can arrange that too-" the villain said quickly, trying to sound indifferent, but the hero seemed to be dreaming, with a big smile on their face.

"Again," the hero whispered. "I'm not ready to tell you."

And the villain kissed them repeatedly until the hero gasped "I had a few days off."

[crabonfire]

mercs with reader who has poetic rizz 🫶

characters: all mercs

warnings: corny poetry / letters

note: I'm writing this because I write very badly written poetry myself and I just wanted to share 👍👍👍 this is very random haha

reader is shy abt their writing and gets embarrassed showing or talking abt it (that's how I react when I show people my corny poetry agahwhsg) all the poems have dumb names

♡Scout♡

• he doesn't understand what the fuck any of it means but it sure sounds smart and sophisticated.

• he would be messing around in your notebook and finding very well written lines of romantic and depressing poetry, finds it actually very attractive?? he has a thing for "smart people" stuff.

• he found a love poem you made, went along the lines of:

The day we ultimately leave this plane of existence, If in a time of judgement, I'd get to have live again. I'd search every corner of this vast, timeless universe just to see you again.

• and when he saw the note at the end that said "for my love" He felt like combusting on the spot.

• when he brings it up he's like "You wrote this for me?" And if you get all shy and stuff he's honestly gonna kiss you so hard. If your nervous about your writing he's the best hypeman 🫶🫶

• brags about it to the others but never shows them any poems you have, wants to keep them to himself <33 definitely has written copies of your poems in his room.

♡Pyro♡

• hubba hubba

• bro is honestly so honored my god

• he'd be snooping around in your room because he was looking for you and find pieces of paper on your desk, filled with romantic letters. Some have been scribbled over, probably some you didn't like. One reads,

Even in the sheer and agonising cold, I can still feel the fire in my fingertips when I'm with you.

You're my source of warmth in the winter, my light at the end of the tunnel, my everything.

I'd go through a hundred battles if I knew you'd be the one I protect.

• and when he reads, "for my firefly."

• you got em blushing under the mask fr,, bro is kicking his feet in the air, punching the wall, shaking the paper like a crazed fangirl...dawggg

• when he finds you, he will literally shake you around like a pinata, shoving the paper in your face and practically asking "is this about me"

• when you smile and nod in response, you get a squeal out of him, hugging you tightly and giggling uncontrollably as he...purrs??? on you?? rizz so poetic you turned bro into a cat...wtf

• will show engie and beg you if he can see more poetry. Will attempt to do it for you because he wants to impress you 🫶

♡Soldier♡

• you were writing on your notebook for a while in the common room while everybody was up to their own thing, and he was quite curious on what you were doing.

He asked but you were too embarrassed to say what it was, he caught on and took a peek from the side, making you look away and frown, a blush forming at your face.

You're like no man I've ever met, a stern and determined figure that manages to surpass expectation.

What I'd do to kiss you, I'd cross the lands far wide just for a chance to gaze upon your beautiful face.

You have such a fire in your eyes when you set your mind to something. Those baby blues have me in a chokehold, I wonder what fire will arise when you look at me.

I'd do anything, anything at all if it meant I'd be the one to start that flame.

• "...WHO IS THIS FOR?"

You pause for a bit and sigh, "You."

He takes a second, reading everything back again he feels his face start to heat up tremendously. His knees feel weak, head is dizzy, and he has the stupidest smile on his face.

• he grabs you by the shoulders, making you stand up as he aggressively kisses you, pulling back he says "EXCELLENT WORK. I AM HONORED TO BE WRITTEN ABOUT SO BEAUTIFULLY. THANK YOU CADET!"

• he walks away with the biggest fucking grin ever he might start fucking skipping.

You're just left there with a red face, stunned and confused on what to do.

♡Demo♡

• he likes to talk to you a lot, so this would probably pop up in a convo. you talk about arts, and you mention the fact you do poetry in your spare time.

He jokingly asks if you made any about him, fully expecting you to snort and shake your head. But when you go silent, looking away for a second he immediately feels like he's going to burst. You've written poetry about him?

He begs you for a good 15 minutes until you agree to show him, bringing it up even after you've changed the topic of conversation.

• He watches you pull out your notebook with excitement, he's already grinning even before you show him. You huff, handing him the book with a page that says "corny poem for demo I'm never showing him" and he laughs at that.

The poem goes,

My dear, words can not express the sheer adoration I have for you.

I was never fond of drinks myself, but if alcohol ever tasted like you, I'd have become a crazed drunkard whose only relief was alcohol.

Your lips are so soft. When they kiss my skin, it feels as though I have just been blessed by the heavens above.

• bro has his jaw dropped to the floor, face tinted a dark red as he literally has to blink to see if this was about HIM?

• he's laughing, shaking his head and covering his face in embarrassment.

"I cannae believe this. This...this is for me?"

You simply nod.

"Dear lord, yer an angel ya know that?" He leans in and kisses you, then kisses you some more all over your face, making you giggle, pulling you into his lap and having a full on make out session.

He'll kiss your neck and leave marks, whispering sweet compliments, repetitions of "thank you's," and "I love you's" over and over. If he fell head over heels for you, then now he's fell for real and dropping into a pit of neverending love for you <3

♡Heavy♡

• I'd say he found them on accident, he insisted on helping you clean your room when you got too tired to do it, and as he was reorganising your desk he found your notebook laid open, and curiously, he read the specific page.

The title was "hahsjfjfjdkskzncn"

The way your arms wrap around my waist makes it feel like it's just the two of us against this cruel world.

But even with my upsetting mindset, you manage to find a way to strip me of those thoughts, and every day, the colour in this world gets a little brighter.

I love your laugh, and when you do it, the angels sing to the gods. My heart always longs to be within your presence because it feels like I'm floating whenever I'm with you.

• he blushes, and blushes even more when he sees the note at the end written "for misha (I'll probably never show him this it's corny asl)" and he doesn't smile, he doesn't even show any form of expression, but his face is so red he could pass as a tomato.

He doesn't bring it up right away, but when he finishes cleaning your room, he talks to you about it with a flustered expression, voice low and quiet with cheeks dusted a rosy pink.

"I like the poem. It is quite lovely, thank you."

You just sorta sit there kind of embarrassed of your poem and nodding aggressively.

• he thinks of that poem a lot, and if he finds out you've made more for him he's actually gonna burst.

♡Engie♡

• finds out similarly with how Heavy and Pyro did!! He fell asleep in your room while you two were cuddling, and it happened to be a ceasefire day so yall had nothing to do. He's a real heavy sleeper so while you were showering he was still snoring loudly.

but then a couple minutes later after you did, he woke up.

• he rubbed his eyes and decided to get cups of coffee for the both of you. he placed the cups on your desk and noticed your notebook was open. Not so subtly, he started to read what was written.

"I love texans" was the title, he smirked at that.

The moon and the stars don't even compare to you, and the heat of the sun can't even be on the same level as how warm you make me feel.

I can't take it when you're away. It's like a part of my heart starts to shatter at your absence. The days feel like weeks, the longer you're away. I miss you even when you're just in the other room, I miss your voice even when we just started to talk.

Your words are so sweet to me, and it seems I've developed a sweet tooth just for you.

• 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁😞😞😞😭😭😭😭

• bro felt like sobbing to be honest, smiling like a goof and screaming internally.

he will join you in the shower,trailing his fingers over your body and leaving feathery kisses over your back. you'd giggle, asking him what gotten him in such a mood. all he'll do is hum, washing your body as he continues kiss you in all sorts of places.

• like Scout, he finds it a weirdly attractive trait, like the romantic essence of it yk??

• the entire day he'll just be so much softer than usual, melting like a puddle around you when he randomly recalls the poem. Will definitely bring it up later, complimenting you and asking you about it.

( OK I ran out of ideas for romantic poems so I'm not writing them anymore SORRYYYYYYYY)

♡Medic♡

• You were high in anaesthesia after an operation, where he was fixing you up after a big battle. You two talked the night away, and you mentioned your hobbies when he was asking you, you blurt out your writing hobby and he seems very interested!

So in your fuzzy state, you pull your notebook outta yer ass and let him flip through the pages himself.

• he's quite surprised, very impressed at your writing abilities. Some of the poetry is sad, and he can truly resonate with some. Then, he sees one that catches his eyes, it's labelled "doctors!! ahhh!!"

he has a amused grin on his face, "is zhis one about me?" You chuckle, nodding aggressively like a drunk child.

• when he reads it, thay amused expression turns to one of embarrassment. It feels as though you've lifted him off of his feet, he knows it's rather corny, but it's so damn romantic he can't take it.

"woah!! your face is all red man, sorry for making you so flustered I just got that poetic rizz AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA-"

he shakes his head literally having no idea what that means and a weary smile forms on his face, not expecting the poem to be so specific.

But he reads it again, and again. Each repetition he melts even more at your endearing words about him. He can't help but feel overjoyed, his eyes soften when he meets your gaze.

He leans into the patient chair to give you a kiss on the forehead, gazing into your eyes and whispering, "Ich liebe dich, mein schatz. Danke, this is beautiful." He kisses you once more, on your nose this time making you giggle.

(I love doctors!! ahhh!!)

♡Sniper♡

• I don't think he'd be the type to uh, snoop around for your stuff, or even do anything remotely close without asking for it, so in terms of poetry he'd find you doing it like soldier did.

• you two were sitting under a tree near his van, a nice date in the woods for you both to get out of the chaos and just be alone.

• he rested his head on your shoulder, as you wrote intensely on your notebook. It was quiet, but it was a peaceful one.

"Hey, what'cha writin' there?"

You hum in reply, "Nothing."

"Really? Cause you've been writing for a bit now."

You just smile, continuing to write.

• After a bit you finish writing, and he takes a peek, "my star"

he smiled, it was about him. Well, he assumed.

Slowly, he read the lines of poetry that were just finished. You were reading it back, too. As he did, he couldn't help the heat that rose to his cheeks, and a downturned smile appeared on his face as he looked away, covering his face with his hat.

You noticed, looking at him and blushing as well.

"Oh. Did you.. read it?"

He paused, putting the hat back on his hat but still looking away. "Yea."

It was silent again, until he asked;

"...Is it about me?"

You smiled, "Well of course. Who else would it be about?"

His cheeks reddened even more, and then he went back to lean on your shoulder with a shy smile. One that you mirrored, tucking loose hair away from the sides of your face.

"It's cute."

"Thank you, its about you so of course it is."

He screamed internally at that. He just chuckled.

• Here you are, fully grown adult mercenaries, acting like little kids who are going on their first date. Those corny sentences you wrote will be stuck in his mind for weeks, months maybe...he's so in love with you man.

♡Spy♡

• he found out the same as soldier did, in the common room after everybody ate, you were sitting at a desk with a cup of coffee, writing something on your notebook. Truth be told, you had finished it, you were just contemplating if you wanted to show it to spy or not, you knew he'd love it, but a part of you knew it was also super corny.

"What are you writing, my dear?"

You screamed, shocked at his presence, slapping your hands on your notebook in an attempt to hide it.

"HUH?? WRITINF?? OH YEAHHHH just some uh, stuff. Yeah." You laugh nervously, a comically large bead of sweat streams from your face.

• he simply smirks, taking the book out of your hands and seeing what you're so embarrassed about. All you could do was sit, flushed face and eyebrows furrowed.

" 'poem, maybe I'll show him, i don't know.' This is for me, hm?"

You nod, covering your face with your hands and curling into a ball.

• he reads it, his expression is unclear, but he's intensely memorising the words you've written about him. It's so...romantic. He feels his cheeks heat up, and all he does is smile, eyes lidded full of admiration for what you've written.

"This is beautiful. I didn't know you were such a poet, why didn't you tell me?"

"..its embarrassing. It's not even that good, too. I just... do it when I'm bored."

He shakes his head, "Ma petite chou-fleur, you are a true artist. I am honoured to be written in such a way by such a lovely person such as yourself. You should not underestimate yourself, this is...wonderful."

He smiled at your adorable reaction. He kneels and takes your hand, giving it a kiss. "To know such kind hands think of me in such a way makes my head spin...for once, you've truly captivated me."

"And if it's alright, I would love to read more of your work. Poetry is truly difficult, yet you've managed to write so emotionally."

You can't believe what he says, but you can tell he's being genuine by his soft smile, one you rarely see. With your face still as red as a tomato, you nod, mirroring the smile he has.

• You two spend your time together in the common rooms talking about poetry, he's constantly complimenting you, and any person who walks by to see what your up to, he immediately starts to talk about your poetry, even going as far as to show it to them, telling them how good it is.

he's definitely asking for some pieces of your poetry, keeping it in a folder to read whenever he misses you.

done!!!

hide yo girls, the rizzler is here 💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️

[iamnmbr3]

harry definitely not heterosexual potter is the funniest thing to me because i literally cannot remember a single time in the book where he thinks “i should probably be nervous about draco trying to kill me because i am literally convinced that he is willingly working with voldemort.” no. he was like “oh draco? yeah he is definitely working for voldemort and he is so evil because did you see the way he is combing his hair now? probably switched shampoo. he would never change conditioner, that thing works wonders. what do you mean, this is common knowledge. anyway, he is so evil and definitely working for voldy. but of course he won’t kill me, are you crazy? who would he talk to across the great hall? like literally you don’t even understand.” and everyone just WENT WITH IT.

Hahahahaha I KNOW! Would he feel this safe around literally any other person who he suspected of being in league with Voldemort? I think tf not!

Even once Draco has Harry incapacitated and totally at his mercy on the train Harry at no point thinks that he's in danger. Even after Draco breaks his nose he doesn't think it. After that incident Harry still is all 'can't wait to break into the Room of Requirement BY MYSELF while Draco is in there so I can see what secret evil mission he's working on for Voldemort' and at no point does he worry that going in without backup could end badly. And HE'S RIGHT. When Draco has Harry at his mercy he never seriously harms him and risks everything multiple times in book 7 to protect him. This is NOT Harry seeing Draco with rose tinted glasses. This is Harry deeply and intimately understanding that Draco will not hurt him and feeling comfortable around him on an instinctual level despite every reason he has not to.

And let's not forget why Harry finally stops investigating Draco in 6th year. It's not because he decides he's wrong about his whole "Draco is a Death Eater on a mission from Voldemort" theory nor is it because he gets worried that since Draco is a Death Eater on a mission from Voldemort looking into this could get Harry or his friends hurt. No. He stops because his investigation leads to Draco getting hurt. And Harry is so horrified by this that he completely backs off and gives up trying to stop the super secret evil mission from Voldemort that Harry is sure Draco is on. Harry is like 'foiling an evil plot masterminded by Voldemort himself isn't worth it if it could lead to me hurting Draco.' He really said 'I can excuse putting myself in mortal danger on a regular basis to stop Voldemort's plots but I draw the line at Draco being upset.' In canon.

And yeah Harry cares about people in general but not to this extent. When Umbridge gets carried off by centaurs Harry doesn't even think of going after her. He's just like 'lmao bye bitch.' He straight up KILLS Quirrell in first year and when he finds out he's like 'well that sucks for him.' Tons of Death Eaters get hurt and maimed at the Department of Mysteries and Harry never even stops to check if they're ok. In second year he forces Lockhart to enter the Chamber of Secrets first in case there's a Basilisk waiting at the bottom of the chute.

But anytime he sees Draco in danger he does whatever he can to help without even thinking about it. From the time in first year in the Forbidden Forest when he immediately throws his arm out to stop Draco walking towards Voldemort to 7th year when he risks his own life and that of his friends to pull him out of the fiendfyre and reveals his presence while running through the battle so he can stun a Death Eater threatening Draco. And he does it automatically, without a second thought because Harry can't fathom a world where he wouldn't protect Draco.

[materassassino]

The Old Guard Dæmon AU

Probably done before, but I wanted to write one myself, so I thought I'd make a guide to the Guard and their respective dæmons, to go with the fic I just posted for it.

Andy: Hwehnto (Przewalski's horse)

Yeah, a wolf or some other predator might fit, but let's face it, the supreme horse girl should have a horse for a dæmon. *h₂weh₁n̥to- is Proto-Indo-European for "wind", butchered into a modernly comprehensible Hwehnto/Hwento. He is a very serious and stoic dæmon, much like Andy, but his outbursts of emotion are striking. He is vicious in battle and will not hesitate to attack both human and dæmon, if necessary.

I did also consider a tarpan for Andy, but there is literally one photo in existence of one. I generally assume that actually it would be some European wild horse so old it doesn't exist anymore, and we've lost all modern knowledge of it. So Przewalski's horse will do.

Quynh: Minh Nhat (white-lipped pit viper)

Of course our viper would have a viper! Small, quick and venomous. He doesn't have a name yet because, frankly, I don't speak Vietnamese and I want him to have a cool name like most dæmons have. His name is Minh Nhat, which means "bright sunlight", in contrast with Quynh's name. More outgoing than most dæmons, will talk casually with other humans, and is prone to little acts of thievery (thimbles, small nuts, little trinkets), mostly out of delight with the object than any malice. Very tiny! Likes spending his time tucked up Quynh's sleeve. Will not hesitate to bite a human should the need arise, but tucks himself in Quynh's collar or scarf when in battle.

I was torn between this and a red-headed krait, but ultimately went to an actual viper (well, pit viper, close enough).

Joe: Tayyib (scimitar oryx)

(Oddly difficult to find a photo of one alone, with no radio collar, that hasn't been shot by some bastard trophy hunter).

Tayyib (named that way for obvious reasons and chosen by Joe's mother's dæmon) represents everything poetic and artistic about Joe, and is calm and wise. Dislikes fighting, but will if he must: watch out for those horns! Yes, he is a male dæmon, a rarity, another commonality Joe shares with Nicky. I wonder why? A very good listener who gives good advice.

I don't know why I decided on another ungulate for this hapless team (can they even go anywhere?), but I did. I figured a desert antelope of some kind would be good for Joe, and it was a toss-up between this and an addax. I admit I chose it just for the name.

Nicky: Bonamico (Luzon bleeding-heart dove)

Geographically, it doesn't make sense. Symbolically? I had to. Bonamico is quiet, contemplative and kind, barely speaks except to Nicky, Joe or Tayyib, but is always concerned for those about him. He is far more nervous than Nicky, but stores a lot of knowledge, a trait he does share with Nicky. His favourite place to perch, other than Nicky's shoulder, is between Tayyib's horns (although occasionally he likes to sit on Joe's head). He does the scouting for the group, as the only bird dæmon.

This bird is the entire reason I made this damn AU. It's just too perfect. Look at this Catholic-ass bird!

Booker: Amandine (black rat)

*wheezing* I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm not sorry.

Now, the problem with dæmons is that we have rat symbolism, which is of rats as dirty and sneaky, but we're also modern human beings that know perfectly well rats are cute, intelligent and affectionate creatures that make amazing pets. Amandine herself is mostly just shy and quiet, although she does like it when she gets the chance to roast Booker, but then again, who doesn't? She is their little reconnaissance expert, being sent in to buildings and small places to chew through wires and spy. She, unlike Booker, is always supremely well-groomed.

I did consider a ferret or stoat, something a little more noble, but I personally do love rats so much and so I wanted a positive rat dæmon, for once.

Nile: Dakarai (red wolf)

I wanted to give Nile something supremely American, but she was in the Marines, and soldiers of most kinds tend to have dog dæmons, so no stereotypical birds. But Nile is also smart and quick-thinking, and family-oriented, so the red wolf made sense to me. Dakarai is loyal and far more serious than his human, a bit more cynical. Having been trained in a modern Armed Force, post-Geneva Convention, he's never touched another human being and has exclusively fought other dæmons. He is, of course, a good tracker.

Someone had to have a canine in this group. Might as well be Nile!

Bonus (under the cut for cockroach reasons):

James Copley: Vindemiatrix (common raven)

The Odin symbolism of the knowledge-seeker raven, honestly. She perches in odd places, watches everything, and reports back. She is a secret-keeper and prone to keeping her own counsel, not interacting much with other dæmons. She, like Copley, misses his wife and her Pallas's cat dæmon something fierce.

Stephen Merrick: Unnamed (American cockroach)

Need I say more? He deserves it.

Dr Meta Kozak: Unnamed (hagfish)

A disgusting dæmon for a disgusting woman, who burrows into people's bodies and eats them from the inside out. She carries the horrid thing in a lightweight tank backpack, one of the many modern accomodations for people with water-dwelling dæmons.

Keane: Unnamed (Eastern black rhino)

A beautifully noble dæmon, unfortunately wasted on a bastard.

Lykon: Unnamed (melanistic leopard)

She was graceful, majestic and courteous, and absolutely breathtaking in battle. She would dispense affection to daemon and human alike, much like Lykon himself.

[kozidraws]

Kirishima likes to make paper cranes and "flies" (flicks) them over to Bakugo when he gets bored. Bakugo naturally sets them aflame. After a while Kirishima gets the brilliant idea to write compliments to Bakugo on the crane paper, knowing Bakugo will just blow it up.

It was a terrible battle always sitting near Bakugo and resisting the urge to blurt out his every thought about the blond.

But doing it this way, Kirishima gets to pour out his feelings on paper, because his love for Bakugo is too big for even his body to contain.

He tests the waters first, just writing 'You're cute when you glare' then with practiced ease, folds it into a crane and flicks it at Bakugo.

And lo and behold, Bakugo doesn't even look up from his homework, just snatches the paper in mid-air and lights it up with a small explosion.

Kirishima grins to himself.

Perfect.

So it becomes a routine at their study sessions. Bakugo makes him study, Kirishima mind wanders as he stares at the blond, then has to write his feelings down.

Fold paper, make crane, throw at Bakugo, repeat.

Bakugo doesn't even snap at him for the increased amount of paper birds, just goes through the motions of capture and destroy.

Until one day.

Kirishima's mind just would not stop thinking about how much he loves Bakugo, so onto the paper it went. It was the fastest his pen moved this study session, that's for sure. He surprised himself that within five minutes he has a whole page written.

He had to stop there, no way was he gonna write on the other side. Too risky.

He folds the paper into a crane, turns and throws the crane-

Bakugo is looking right at him.

'Oh shit.'

The crane flies neatly into Bakugo's hand.

But it doesn't explode.

'Play it cool. Do not break out into nervous sweat, that will make him suspicious.' But now he's also been too quiet, damn it.

Bakugo looks down at the crane, still intact, then back at Kirishima.

"Now, I'm going to give you a chance to tell me what you just wrote."

There is no way in hell he was going to confess. Nope, nope, nope.

Wracking his brain the first excuse to pop up was "Uhh, new gym routine?"

Bakugo raises his eyebrow.

"Is that so?"

"Yup! Watched a fitness video so wrote down the routine to try it out."

"Which you then threw at me?"

Kirishima winces, "...yes?"

"Fine," Bakugo leans back on his chair, he almost looks relaxed, but his eyes harden in challenge. "Then as your gym buddy I better make sure it's up to my standards then."

Bakugo quickly starts to unwrap the crane.

Kirishima stares in frozen terror.

Bakugo clears his throat, lifting up the paper in front of him, a smirk gracing his features as he starts to read aloud.

"Dear Bakugo-"

Kirishima lunges.

They both grunt as they tumbled to the ground, Kirishima thought he'd have an advantage since he landed on top of the blond but Bakugo instantly got defensive.

"Fucking knew you were lying!" Bakugo shouts as he blocks Kirishima's hands.

"Okay! You got me! Just give it back!" Kirishima pleads, getting blocked again by an elbow.

"Y'know if you have an issue with me, you could say it to my face instead of a letter!" Bakugo snarls.

"It's not that either!" Kirishima shouts back. He tries to get under Bakugo's arm.

Wrong move.

Within seconds Bakugo had managed to flip him using a headlock. He's back is on top on Bakugo's chest as he stares at the ceiling in shock. Kirishima tries to pry the arm that locks around his neck but it's no use.

"Now let's see what you had to say to me."

Kirishima closes his eyes, sighing in defeat as he stops trying to escape. Can't delay the inevitable now. Now his friendship is going to go up in flames because he couldn't keep his feelings to himself.

The crinkling of paper feels like a loaded gun.

"Dear Bakugo, once again I can't help myself, and I blame you, this is all your fault," Bakugo pauses, a sour tone in his voice before he continues.

Kirishima mentally pleads with the blond not to read the whole thing aloud, he's going to die of embarrassment.

"How can you just sit there doing your homework yet I can't take my eyes off you, you're so handsome it hurts."

"It's the same when we fight, or when you cook our meals, you're so graceful and skilled and I just lo-" Bakugo stops reading aloud but Kirishima knows he's still reading it. His fate is sealed.

Oh how he wish he had a teleporting quirk now.

Kirishima can feel his eyes start to sting, he doesn't want to be here when Bakugo finishes reading, afraid of the consequences. With renewed desperation he tries to move again, grabbing onto the arm still locked around his neck.

Instead, Bakugo's arm tightens.

Kirishima keeps tugging, squirming while he can feel a few tears start to slip.

"Bakugo, please, just let me go." He chokes out cursing his voice for sounding so broken.

Bakugo must have finished reading it because he hears the paper flutter to the ground.

In the next moment Kirishima feels Bakugo's other arm wrapping around his waist as the blond sits them both up, Kirishima now sitting in between Bakugo's legs but he refuses to turn to face him.

Kirishima sniffles, wanting to wipe his tears but Bakugo has locked his arms in a tight embrace. He can feel the warmth radiating off Bakugo as the blond leans even closer against Kirishima's back, hooking his chin over Kirishima's left shoulder and sighs.

"Kirishima,"

Here it comes.

"I'm going to move you but don't try to run off." Bakugo warns, he waits for a small feeble nod before loosening his hold, arms hooking Kirishima's legs so he's now sitting in Bakugo's lap, his right side flush against Bakugo's chest.

"As I said before," Bakugo starts, raising his hand to cup the side of Kirishima's face, wiping away a few stray tears, "If you have something to say to me," the blond leans forward to touch their foreheads together, "say it to my face."

Kirishima barely feels like he can function being so close, he stutters out a breath, another tear leaks out but Bakugo is quick to remove it.

"I, I..." Kirishima stalls, Bakugo nuzzles their noses softly together and it's enough encouragement to whisper out "I love you."

Bakugo tightens his arms around Kirishima, pecks the redhead briefly on the nose before he presses their lips together.

Kirishima is so shocked he doesn't move at first, frozen because he couldn't believe this was happening.

That didn't bother the blond, he was a good tutor after all. He lifted Kirishima's arms up to wrap around his neck and kissed him again.

"I love you too Kirishima."

That was all Kirishima needed to hear.

He surged forward, renewed courage to kiss Bakugo back.

This time when they landed on the floor Bakugo let out an amused huff, bringing Kirishima closer so the redhead could pepper his face with kisses.

Bakugo seemed to enjoy Kirishima's enthusiasm, couldn't stop grinning and chuckling as Kirishima kept going.

Kirishima was addicted, he wants to hear his laugh and see his smile for the rest of his life.

"I love you so much!"

Bakugo intercepts him, sneaking another kiss before getting up.

"Let's go, I need to cook your favorite meal to celebrate." Bakugo says, holding out his hand which Kirishima gladly accepts. Bakugo doesn't let go of his hand and walks them out of his room to the kitchen.

"Also, I'm sorry for blowing up the other notes, I didn't know."

"That's okay!" Kirishima squeezes his hand in reassurance.

"I could always write you notes to make up for it." Bakugo offers.

Kirishima grins.

"Nah, just say it to my face."

❤🧡-END!-🧡❤

[sunnycanvas]

Hello^^ I have been following your blog for a while and like that you want to explore different concepts with Baldwin IV👑🩵

If you don’t mind, would you like to write either a short drabble or Hcs of Baldwin comforting his wife after a really difficult birth? Like, it all turned out okay, the wife is alive, albeit very exhausted, the Baby came out to be strong and healthy, etc. but it was a very risky and long labor, and the physicians weren’t sure if she and the child were going to make it yk? After all, giving birth was highly risky back then, with a much higher mortality rate.

Anyway, I hope you are having a great day and keep up the good work🥳🌈✨

Yelp! It went longer that I expected. Hopefully it lives upto mark. Thank you for your support and happy reading

It felt so peaceful. So dark. I was exhausted and felt solace in darkness. However in my deep slumber I heard a sound of weeping. Someone calling my name. Begging me to come back. "Your grace the queen is fine but really exhausted" "Please let her sleep" "She needs rest to regain strength" . I think I heard some shouts and I don't remember much after that except the fact that I tried opening my eyes but I felt so tired. When I was finally able to open my eyes. I felt my mouth open and chest sweaty huffing desperate to get fresh air. "When did this happen" I thought. It almost felt like a dream .My head was spinning. My throat felt dry. I tried moving a bit when I could feel sticky wet substance below my waist I tried moving my legs again but realised that I was too exhausted to do so . "What's happening" I thought again worried.

"My wife is finally awake, quickly get some water"

My husband took the glass of water from widwife. Baldwin IV made me sit upright as he quickly fed me water. Baldwin IV didn't realise in state of panic how fast he was being in feeding me water. I started coughing as result

"Easy love". He gently rubbed my back as he handed back glass of water to midwife. My husband started kissing me all over my face and then hugged me tightly.

"Darling, you made it" "I am really happy" "When I saw you laying down like that l" "I was so scared, I thought I will never see you again" I could feel my shoulder getting wet from his tears as Baldwin IV kissed my hair while speaking to me. I remembered that when I was going through difficult labour. Although the baby came out alive and strong they weren't sure I would make it. After hearing this I lost consciousness

Remembering about the baby I asked where is the baby right now. Baldwin IV replied that our child was fine and is currently with the midwife who was taking care of baby

"Moment I heard one of the midwife saying that perhaps you might not survive I grew anxious and prayed to God on my knees for some miracle"

I got really scared remembering the pain I had to bear while screaming in agony. I got really nervous realising how close I was knocking at death's door. My husband the king, Baldwin IV was able to comprehend my emotional state. Without hesitation he took off his white cloak and covered me in it. He hugged me again and started drawing circles on arm while singing a lullaby. It worked and I felt myself getting calmer. "My love I am here" "I'll be there to protect you, even if it's my own battle". Hearing this I immediately voiced my thoughts "It had been a tough experience" ."We will have more children I swear it, it would be better for everyone"

"Was that the reason why you decided to have a baby"

"......."

Baldwin IV understood the meaning behind my silence. Baldwin IV sat on the bed and said "Yes, it's true that I always wanted to have a family of my own but long before I accepted my fate as leper and decided to live my life in chasity" "I am willing to go back to same life" "I thank God every day that you came in my life perhaps God gave you difficult labour because I was being greedy"

"No, love". "The kingdom needs a heir" "And I will give birth to as many children as possible" Baldwin IV understood the pressure I felt as queen replied "I know my (Y/N)" "And if you feel you don't want to go through it again" "I would have no problem with that, I will happily except our child as first and last". Baldwin IV called one of his ministers and said "Tell the council that I will be taking rest, Raymond of Tripoli could rule in my place for the time being". I was about to protest but Baldwin IV put a finger against my lips shushing me. "You were left alone during your labour, but I won't be leaving you alone after I almost lost you" "Come now love, let's sleep together" "After that we will be taking a bath together and enjoy all the activities you prefer" "You need rest" "I will ensure you won't be going out of my sight for the time being". Baldwin IV got next to me and pulled me closer. "I can't sleep" I complained

"In that case I shall tell you stories of brave knights and kings". I smiled remembering Baldwin IV loved history and foundly I watched him and he excitedly recalled the history stories he learned.

[fictionalmenmakemecry]

Staying by his Side

Written Upon Request!

Click here for request!

Characters: Johnny Depp x Reader

Summary: You support Johnny while going through the difficult times of the trial. As time goes by, you feel him drifting more and more away from you. You get to breaking point and confront him, only for him to show a side you never saw before.

Warnings: angst, fluff, smut

I looked at myself in the mirror as I fiddled with putting on my earrings which I got for a birthday gift. I could sense someone's eyes on me and turned around to see Johnny in the doorway of our bedroom, fixing the cuffs of his suit.

"How do I look?" Johnny sighed walking towards me.

I rarely ever saw him nervous. He was usually the relaxed one in the relationship but this trial showed me a different side of him. A side I felt sorry for. He was everything he usually wasn't. He was anxious, fearful, worried and doubtful.

"Handsome as always" I gave a reassuring smile straightening his tie and brushing off some loose lint on his shoulders.

He gave me a small smile and brought his attention to my ears, instantly noticing them.

"I wish we had a better reason to wear these" Johnny reached up brushing his finger lightly across the pearls.

"Would you help me with this?" I asked, wanting to change the subject. I leaned over to get a simple silver necklace on my dresser and handed it to Johnny.

I turned around and lifted my hair to give better access to my neck. I felt the cold chain touch my neck as he put it around me and played with the latch.

"Thank you" I said quietly feeling the silence in the room.

I knew Johnny had a lot on his mind. I could see him sinking into thought as we got closer to the court date. I really could only see a shell of a man compared to when we first met 15 years ago.

"Johnny, everything will turn out okay" I brought my hand up to his face caressing it.

"The coming weeks are going to be hard but you have me, your family, friends and fans all behind you" I continued wanting to support him any way I could.

"You're right, it won't last forever" He broke into a smile.

I know deep inside me though, the smile was more for me than it was for him.

I reached up and gave him a kiss before one of his assistants knocked on the door and informed us that it was time to make our way to the courthouse.

I looked into his eyes and we both took a deep breath and made our way out of the room to face the start of a long battle.

As the days went by, I felt Johnny wasn't present when we would come back home from a long day. He was drained emotionally and mentally from reliving a lot of the unpleasant memories when it came to his ex.

We would come home, have dinner mostly in silence and then he would disappear until late hours of the night. I wanted to respect his space and give time to himself. But apart of me felt completely disconnected from him. I missed him. Even though he would be right beside me, mentally he wasn't. I felt selfish feeling the way I did. I had no right to think this way especially at this present moment. So I kept my feelings to myself.

My mind would wander to the night everything changed. I had a small dinner to celebrate my birthday at my place. Being surrounded with all my closest friends made the night perfect for me. Johnny being one of them, came bearing a gift and gave me a big hug like usual wishing my a happy birthday. We all sat around the table enjoying delicious food and making sure no glass turned empty. We laughed and reminisced of fun old memories. I looked over at Johnny greatful that he could make it.

"I'm so glad you're here" I beamed leaning over to him so he could hear me over all the loud chatter.

"You know I wouldn't miss it for the world" He grinned

As the night went on, people said their goodbyes and went home. I closed the front door and came back into the room to only see Johnny left who started stacking the plates and clearing the food from them.

"Oh Johnny don't worry about them. I'll deal with them later" I chuckled seeing how truly sweet he was.

"I'm not leaving you with this. I want to help" He looked up at me and smiled.

We both started clearing the table and bringing everything back into the kitchen. I rinsed the dishes and he placed them in the packed dishwasher.

"I hope you had a good night?" Johnny asked while I handed him the last of the glasses.

"I really did. It meant a lot to me that you could make it" I looked over at him drying my hands on a towel.

"Over the years, you've never missed one of mine and I intent to do the same" He leant against the kitchen counter across from me.

We looked at each other not saying anything. I noticed he was wearing a waistcoat with a navy shirt. His sleeves were rolled up making his tattoos visible.

"I never notice how many tattoos you had" I said leaning over to take a closer look.

He brought his arm closer to me turning it slowly to show me all of them.

"I've gotten so used to them, I don't even pay attention to them anymore" Johnny glanced up at me.

"You don't have any?" He asked bringing the focus on to me.

I blushed instantly knowing what I was going to have to show him.

"I do" I embarrassedly smiled

"I didn't think you would" Johnny smirked raising his eyebrows.

"I was 19, drunk and it was spontaneous" I chuckled turning around and dropping my cardigan off my shoulders to allow him to see a small snake running down the middle of my back.

I could feel his fingers brushed along my skin as he moved my hair to the side. I felt goosebumps raise along my arm from the surprised contact.

"It suits you" I could sense him smiling flirtatiously

I turned around to come to the realization of how close we were. I didn't want to pull away. So I stayed and looked up to see his eyes meet mine.

Johnny and I had always been close. There was moments I thought we could get together but the timing was never right. One of us would be busy with work or would be in relationship. We were always supportive of each other. I had a baby crush on him but I tried to not get in the way of our friendship. I wouldn't have thought he would feel the same way about me.

Up until this very point.

He took my hands into his and brushed his thumbs along my knuckles making me feel instantly at ease.

"You look beautiful tonight" Johnny commented softly his eyes never leaving mine.

I felt myself turning red and glanced away in shyness. Every cell in my body wanted to lean up and kiss him but something was holding me back. I brought my eyes back to his to see him looking at my lips but bringing his eyes back to mine.

I sensed him lean in slowly to me. Before I knew it, I felt his soft lips press against mine. My hand instantly went to his neck feeling the heat come off his skin. His hands went to my hair, tucking it behind my ear. My body felt electric, I felt my face melt into his other hand as he rest it on my jaw.

Even after 4 years, thinking back on that memory, it still stay fresh in my mind.

I woke up at 3am to not feeling a sleeping body next to me. I got up groggily and aimlessly found my dressing gown in the dark, I threw it around me and made my way out of the room. I walked down the hallway to see a dim light coming from the kitchen. I slowly pushed the ajar door further not wanting to startle Johnny. I peeped my head around to see him smoking a cigarette over the kitchen sink blowing the smoke out the open window.

"Can't sleep?" I asked bundling my dressing gown around me and making my way to him.

He glance over taking one last inhale before throwing the end of his cigarette out the window.

"I don't even know what that is anymore" He laughed quietly to himself walking towards me.

He looked down at me wrapping his arms around my waist. I rested my head against his chest closing my eyes and remembering all the happy memories that we made in this very kitchen. The delicious meals and midnight feasts we dug into.

"Come on love, let's try.. What is it called again?" Sleep?" Johnny chuckled.

"Very funny" I smiled securing his hand in mine and leading him out of the kitchen.

The days turned into weeks and suddenly a whole month has gone by in a blink of an eye. Johnny and I had gotten to a point where, to me, it felt like we were living in two different worlds at times.

I would try my best to make his favourite dinners. I would suggest we watch classic movies that he enjoyed to take his mind off things. I even went to buy some of his food that he loves. He would comment on it and try to show some type of appreciation but I knew he just didn't have any interest.

He spend his days in court or in meetings with his legal team. He come home and rarely did we even eat together anymore. He would close his office door and that would be that.

I would knock on his office door hoping he would open it and let me in so we could spend some quality time. But most of the time, he would give me an excuse or explain how busy he was.

I had gotten to the point of cracking. I fell in love with someone who enjoy spending their time with me. Someone who wanted to be in a relationship with me. But it felt that Johnny just was too busy or just didn't care about me like he used to. Some nights while eating dinner alone, I would start crying feeling the emptiness of the house and loneliness consume me completely. I would pull myself together and carry on before Johnny would even notice.

As the court days flickered by, we were coming near the end and tensions were building. The jury was going to give their decision and see how it would be settled.

It was coming to the end, the final week of the trial, tomorrow would be the last day. I heard constant mumbling from outside Johnny's office as I walked past making my way to the kitchen. I went over to the oven and opened the door to check on tonight's dinner. To see it nearly ready, I set the table for myself and decided that maybe tonight Johnny would actually want to have dinner with me. I carefully set his side in hope. I heard the office door opening and the sound of voices getting clearer as everyone made there way out of the room. I peered around the corner to see them making their way to the front door and Johnny saying goodbye.

He turned around and saw me, giving me a weak smile before waving them off and closing the front door behind them.

"I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me tonight?" I asked.

"It's nearly ready" I added smiling in anticipation.

"Yeah, I will. It smells great" He nodded coming towards me

"Great" I said a little too enthusiastically.

I gestured for him to sit at the set table and starting prepping dinner on to plates. I handed him his plate as he poured two glasses of wine.

We both settled into our dinners with only the sound of cutlery hitting the dishes.

"So how do you feel now that it's nearly over?" I asked taking a sip of my wine.

"Some relief knowing we are near the end. At this point, whatever happens, happens" Johnny said popping some mash potato into his mouth.

I looked down at my plate and suddenly lost all appetite. I felt a lump build up in my throat.

"Is everything okay?" Johnny asked concerned as I continued to look down.

I kept looking at my plate knowing that if I met his eye line, I would start crying. I have gotten to a point where even having dinner with him felt like he was a stranger to me. I felt completely depressed coming to that realization and my stomach was heavy.

I could feel Johnny's stare follow as I left the room. But I didn't care what he thought. I was too overwhelmed with emotion to even consider his feelings at this moment. He trailed behind me as I reached for the tissue box on the counter.

"Excuse me" I mumble trying to hold myself together before dropping my cutlery and getting up, making my way to the kitchen.

I brought the tissue up to my face to stop the tears falling down my cheeks. I clench my jaw to try and stop myself from completely breaking down.

"Y/n" Johnny uttered worryingly taking a few step towards me with open arms.

I put my hand up to stop him from coming any closer. I looked up at him to see his face covered in confusion and concern.

"What's wrong?" He furrowed his brows together.

There was silence for a couple of moments. I need to be able to control my emotion.

"Are you really that oblivious?" I remarked playing with the damp tissue in my hand.

I looked over to see Johnny taken aback.

"I-I know we've been distant the last few weeks but..." Johnny stuttered pushing his hair out of his face.

"Distant is one way to put it" I mumbled pressing my lip together.

"Why do you say that?" He questioned.

I took a deep breath knowing that everything that has been building up the last few weeks would be dished out right now. All my emotions that built up, the pain and loneliness.

"Johnny do you even love me anymore?" I asked sharply looking over at him.

His eyebrows shot up in disbelief and I heard him take in a deep inhale. His warm brown eyes were now filled with sorrowfulness. He searched my face while trying to find words.

"For the past month, I have never felt so alone in a relationship. I knew it was going to be hard. But we've always been there for each other even as friends over the years." I expressed crossing my arms.

Johnny stood there in what looked like complete shock.

"Y/n, I'm sor-"

"You're telling me you had no idea?" I interrupted looking at him coldly.

"I tried to support you in every way possible. I would make your favourite dinners, give you massages, stayed up with you all hours in the night to help you with documents." I stated my voice unwavered.

"You know how hard it is to hear about your partner and his ex's sex life? For the whole world to hear your sexting conversations ?" My voice started to break as I raised it. I could not hold back all the emotion that I had pushed down for so long.

Johnny dropped his head down what looked like in shame. Tears rolled down my face again wiping them away with the disintegrating tissue in my hands.

"I love you so much. I give you everything I could to support you. But I can only give so much before I'm left with nothing." I wept.

My head started pounding and I had finally cracked and flooded the room with my sadness. We both stay silence for awhile. Both of us gathering our thoughts.

"I was going to do this when this whole court situation was over with" Johnny muttered.

"What?" I looked confusingly at him not understanding what he was talking about.

He reached his hand out and I looked up at him. I hesitantly took it and he leaned me out of the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" I asked not understanding what was happening.

We stopped outside his office door and he turned to me.

"You don't understand how sorry I am to ever make you think that I don't love you." Johnny apologized taking both of his hands in mine.

"Looking back, I realised how cold I've acted towards you" He continued.

His eyes would flicker between both of mine. His voice was quiet and soft. I felt his thumbs brush the back of my knuckles like he always does when I need comfort.

"Johnn-"

"No, I need to say this" He cut across me.

"We've been friends for a long time and you always been there for me. Since then, I've fallen madly in love with you. To ever think, I've hurt you in any way makes my heart ache. I've wanted to show how much you mean to me for awhile and I struggled. But something came to my mind and I've been completely engrossed in it. I hope you'll forgive me" Johnny expressed apologetically.

He let go of one of my hands and turned the handle of the door. We walked into his office to see it in an untidy state; documents, files and stacks of paper everywhere.

We weave through the mess until we got to a door at the back of this room which I always assumed was a closet of some sort.

"I hope this explains it" He glanced at me nervously before opening the door.

He opens the door and instantly colour pops out. The walls are covered in sketching and painting in every size and colour. My eyes were overwhelmed visually not being to focus on thing before moving on to the next. I took a few steps and notice the room wasn't big but it was cluttered with paints, inks, varnishes, sketchbooks. Multiple canvas were stack against the walls of his artwork of all different styles. There was a desk but it was covered in papers and paintbrushes, it was a complete mess.

"Oh my god" I mumbled to myself.

The walls were covered in candid photographs of random people on the street. Some were crossing a street, eating ice cream and other random things. They were beautiful and made them special moments.

"Did you take these?" I asked looking over at him with my mouth open from shock.

Johnny stood in the door way still, with his hands behind his back. He looked like a little kid who was shy about showing his schoolwork.

"Y-yeah I did" He nodded giving a small smile.

I turned back around continued to making my way around the room. I grinned instantly seeing photos of me that I didn't realise he had taken. Photos of me cooking, cleaning and even sleeping. The photo had me laying on my stomach with my arms under the pillow hugging it. I looked peaceful and completely unconscious. I felt him come up behind me leaning over resting his head over my shoulder.

"You look so beautiful sleeping. I never get tired looking at you" He smiled affectionately at me.

I brought my hand up and caressed his face resting my head against his.

The more I looked the more photos I found of me. There had to be hundreds of me doing the most mundane activities. I was overwhelmed with how much he loved taken photos of me. I wondered how I was this oblivious to my surroundings.

"How did you take so many photos of me being completely clueless?" I quizzed feeling embarrassed.

"It was hard at the beginning but I would notice when you would go into your little world and day dream and if I was quiet enough you wouldn't even look up" Johnny explained.

In most of the photos, I was smiling mindlessly. It really did show that I was happy in life with Johnny before this whole court thing happened.

I finally turned to face the door way when I noticed a canvas sticking out behind the door sitting in a easel. I pulled the door away to reveal the true size of it and notice that it was me. It was a painting of me reading in the sun. I brought my hand up to my face completely taken back on what I was seeing.

"Johnny" I gasped

I could hear Johnny chuckle lightly behind me. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed my head.

"You always are so hard on yourself. I wanted to create something that even you could see how beautiful you are." Johnny grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

I had no words. I was completely in shock and I couldn't stop looking at the painting. He put so much detail into it. My sunhat that I wore was exactly the same. I felt tears well up in my eyes. I couldn't believe he did this for me. After everything I said earlier I felt terrible.

"All this time you were working on this?" I asked still in awe.

"Mhmm" He hummed

I continued to stare at it not being able to take my eyes away from it. I turned to face Johnny not knowing what to say. I was entirely caught off guard.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I gestured at the room

He took a deep inhale and picked up a paintbrush absentmindedly, messing with the hairs of it. He scrunched his mouth up to one side as his mind wandered.

"Um.." He begun, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

"Well, many people don't know this side of me. It's my safe place where I know I can come here and let my guard down completely" He continued to looked down at the paint brush.

"After everything we've been through, you deserve to see this side of me"

I felt horrible for everything I said. I should have just been open with him the whole time. We would have avoided this whole mess altogether.

I immediately went over to hug him feeling the weight of all the words I said earlier. I was ashamed to ever doubt Johnny. Especially in this period of time where he needs all the support he can get.

"I'm so sorry" I uttered regrettably.

"No, no love" I felt his arms engulf me

"This isn't your fault. It was stupid and selfish of me to just pull away from you all this time"

We stood there holding each other. I realised how much I missed him touching me and being so close to me.

I felt his finger graze the skin on my hip that was just under the hem of my shirt. My skin was sensitive to his delicate touch. After so much distance between us, my body felt at home in his arms.

"How about we make our usual midnight snack?" Johnny offered

I instantly beamed knowing I've missed us, just being us after so long.

"I would love that"

We made our way to the kitchen and we gathered all our usual comfort food such as ice cream, chips, peanut butter, whipped cream and cookies. I sat on the kitchen counter while Johnny stood between my legs and we fed each other like usual.

I fed him a cookie while he picked up the can of whipped cream and squirted some in this mouth with the cookie. I couldn't stop myself from laughing seeing his facial hair covering in splotches of cream.

"Mhmm?" Johnny grinned with a full mouth gesturing at the whip cream can in his hand wanting to offer me some.

I nodded while giggling. I opened my mouth wide and watch as he carefully aimed the cream into my mouth. The cream started building up fast to the point where I was shake my head telling him to stop.

I glanced over to see a cheeky smile on his face as he continued to squeeze the can. I pulled away and push his hand aside to have cream fly all over us as we laughed uncontrollable. Johnny put down the can and we looked at each other. Cream was everywhere, in our hair clothes and faces.

I got my finger and wiped some off his cheek popping the light fluffy substance in my mouth.

"I think you missed a spot" Johnny laughed glancing all around us to the mess.

He leaned in licking the cream off my face moving his way down my neck. Feeling his lips pressed against me made squeeze my thighs together involuntarily. A quiet moan escaped from my mouth as I felt his hot breath spread across my skin.

"I've missed you so much" I breathed feeling his hands travel up my thighs.

"I missed you too baby"

"Seeing you in your little suit for court makes my mind go places" Johnny hummed leaning into my ear.

"What places?"

I bring my hand down to his chest and wrapping my legs around his waist bringing him closer to me.

"Let's just say I've been distracted in court imagining all the ways I could take you while leaving everything on" He teased kissing my lips gently.

I felt his harden crotch against mine. I wiggles my hips wanting to tease him. His eyes were filled with irresistible desire. I wanted him just as much as he wanted me.

Our lips pressed together eagerly and I felt him deepen the kiss. His tongue moved against mine. I brought my hands to his shirt and fumbled with the buttons impatiently wanting to feel his skin against mine.

He grabbed the hem of my t-shirt and we broke our kiss for a moment while he pulled it over my head, throwing it on the kitchen floor.

"I've missed this body so much" Johnny held my waist kissing all the way from shoulders to the top of my breasts.

I closed my eyes and savored the feeling of his soft hands on my back. His warm lips pressing against sensitive spots on my body.

I opened my eyes to the sounds of objects hitting the floor. I looked over to see Johnny pushing the snacks off the kitchen counter.

"We can deal with that later" Johnny smirked

I laid my back across the cold marble countertop feeling goosebumps travel along my skin. Johnny kissed down my stomach 'til he got to my jeans where he undid the fastener and pulled them down. I raised my hips wanting them off me as fast as possible.

I gazed down to see him kissing my upper thighs making his way slowly to my underwear. My core was pulsing. My hands went to his hair.

"Please Johnny, you're killing me here" I whined easing my hips up trying to get him closer.

"Mhmm, what do you want love?" He teased pulling away slightly from my covered pussy.

"I want you to eat my out Johnny" I whimpered

"I think someone needs to say please" He looked up with his deep brown sexy eyes.

"Please, can you eat me out?" I was begging at this point.

"With pleasure" Johnny purred with his soft velvet voice.

Masterlist for other fics

[cherizzx]

Omg... He fell!

Todo Aoi x Black Reader!

This my first story y'all so be nice! well critic but keep it cute!

' Omg...this nigga dumb as hell' I thought, seeing Yuji and Todo arm wrestlin but with..pinkies? Like I understand they both got loose screws in they head because of..I truly don't know but, they don't get it all up there! I was watching til my friend Liyah taps me and snickers " Girl you finna burn a hole in they head!" she giggled, and I just roll my eyes adjusting myself in my seat to look at her. " Hey na!, not too much I'm only watchin" I responded still somewhat looking at them but not Yuji; I mean he's cute and all buttt, I LOVE ME SOME TODO! I mean his muscles, and his smile that little smirk just gets me goin!, and lets not talk about his confidence! Usually, cocky guys just give off red flags but him, he's confident in himself! He don't need to prove himself to nobody because he knows he's the shit he like drake but not drake ( Fucking hate drake).

Me and Liyah continue talking about random shit like baddies and if Coi Leray a real rapper when Yuji and Todo waltzes, they big asses up to us.

" Hye ladies- I mean young pretties!" Yuji starts, to be honest he walked up like Chris Brown did that girl in the Fine China music video all smooth and stuff, me and Liyah side-eye him and we say our little " Hii!"s Yuji starts talking about how it's a new cafe opening up downtown and he and Todo wanted to invite us! I turned to Todo to speak to him but, he avoids my eyes! Like I'm Ms. Netta in the face and I'm like ' Don't make me cry rn why tf you are looking at me like my lace liftin!?' (But you don't have a- chile..) I looked and Todo, his tan a little darker around the cheeks and I ask what wrong.

" N-nothing! Just a little hot today! Afterall, I just whopped Yuji's ass in battle so i am a little sweaty" Yuji then cuts his eyes to Todo and gives him a stank face.

" Todo..I flipped you 12 time-"

" That don't matter brother" Todo cuts him off with a smirk.

Me and Liyah laughed at that and agreed, Yuji told us be ready by 5pm and we say our goodbyes and I headed to my dorm. I opened the door and let out the biggest giggle of my life! I'm going on a date with my man that's not my man, but ya know..we basically dating! I opened my closet to pick an outfit, not thotty but shows some skin, not too modest thought because it too hot to be a nun, and not too casual because we never gave basic; I just picked some blue and white dunks, light blue flare jeans, and a cute top and I touch up my hair and face ( Face card neva declined) and I called Liyah while doing my hair to see is she ready.

" Hey boo! You ready or almost ready?"

" Heyyyyy! About that.. I cant go"

... and I remember thinking.. I'm about to beat this bitch up.

" What you mean ' YoU CaN't Go' I mock, getting anxious and a bit pissed off.

" I'm Sorry! My job said for an extra $50 I can come in really quick for today! But don't worry Yuji told me Todo is still going an-"

" Wait YUJI NOT COMING!?" I almost yelled, I mean if the world wanna crash down on me it can! But GOD WHYYYY??

Liyah explained Yuji had a mission a bit far and he went but, Todo was going because it close to his gym. I just roll my eyes at the phone and just says ok and hangs ups, I finish up my hair and face and I grab my purse and keys when I open my door and Todo is mid pause of knocking on my door.

" Oh! Hi, why are yo-"

" Hello lovely reader!"

" Hi Todo, are you here to pic-"

" Ive come to pick up up for our outing this evening!" ...Well no shit I couldn't have guessed. I turned to lock my door and we are off to the cafe, as we're walking Todo seems quiet...for the first time he's not yelling or anythuing but he's calm almost nervous.

" Everything alright Todo?" I asked looking up at his stature.

" yes..eveything fine reader, just a bit off ease" Todo says stone faced or regular I don't know really but, I ask what wrong and he gets into how he feels like I don't like him like I like Yuji... this man must be dumber than a box of nails because I can't!

" That's not true Todo, I like you just as much as I like yu-"

" But its not what I want." He stops, I turn to look at him confused.

" I want you to LIKE me, not friend like, not family like but, LIKE me how I like Takada Chan, LIKE me how I like you"

I fucking knew it.

I get bitches and niggas, I'm that girl fr, I'm practically like Lori Harvey; Todo just confessed to me and all im doing is smiling like got $5 from my auntie randomly. I giggled though and Todo looks up at him and kind of frowns.

" I know you may not return my feelings but laughing i-"

" OMG SHUT UP BRO" I yelled and somewhat laughed, Todo confused just plainly stares at me.

" I've liked you since liem forever, when you told me how your favorite singer girl impacts you ti was soo cute! Like you really are kind, goofy, maybe a bit idoitic but it ok! Becasue it makes you well you!" I go on and on with my feelings and when im done odo is just crying

" Oh! Todo i dint mean to-"

" THATS THE KINDEST THING SOMEONE HAS EVER SAID TO ME!" Todo says well sobs, He hugs me tightly and goes on about his crush and I'm just patting his back awkwardly (I'll bite him tbh)

Todo lets go and wipes his face and smiles at me a bit, I return it and I grab his hand and I hold it tightly. The warmth of his hands cools down my cold hands, the world seems to slow just a bit, and everything seems more peaceful.

We interlock hands and Todo smiles, and we walk onwards happily...until Todo trips on a rock and busted his ass.

" OH- Omg..OMG! Are you ok!?"

Todo just lays there and says nothing...for a while, I look around and I just drag his body to a bench. He's big and hungry because aint no way your 17 and you weight 55,000 pounds you big and freaky man! I fan and him and clean him up with a spare napkin and he groans to consciences.

" You ok?"

" Yes...where is Takada Chan?"

...Don't tell me he thought I was Takada bro...he so dumb.

Omg y'all this was like a spontaneous thing! And it soooo long like I'm really Shakespeare fr if you think about it. But yea this my first lil story or whatever tell me if like it or if it needs some work because I lowkey wanna expand on my headcanons about this FINE ASS MAN! 😍😍

[onlyonetifosi]

Congrats little sis

It was a beautiful day in Baku, Azerbaijan, and the excitement in the air was palpable. The Formula 2 race was about to start, and I was getting ready to compete for my team, Prema. As I sat in my car, my mind was racing with thoughts of the race ahead. I was nervous, but also excited to show what I could do on the track.

Suddenly, I heard a knock on my door. I turned to see my older brother, Pierre Gasly, standing there with a huge smile on his face. He had flown all the way from France just to see me race, and I couldn't have been happier to see him.

"Hey, sis," he said, ruffling my hair. "Ready to show everyone what you're made of?"

I grinned back at him. "You bet!"

Pierre and I had always been close, despite the eight-year age gap between us. He had been my biggest supporter since I started karting at the age of five, and had helped me get to where I was today - a driver for the Red Bull Academy. I've always had a fascination for racing. I grew up watching him compete and win, and I knew from a young age that I wanted to follow in his footsteps. So, as soon as I was old enough, I began training to become a racing driver.

As the race began, I felt my heart pounding in my chest. The adrenaline rush was unlike anything I had ever experienced before, and I was determined to do my best.

As the lights went out, I hit the throttle and felt the surge of power as I hurtled down the straight, the wind whipping through my helmet. The track in Baku was a challenging one, with sharp corners and narrow straights, but I felt confident in my abilities. I had trained hard for this moment, and I was determined to make the most of it.

The first few laps were intense, with several drivers jostling for position. But I managed to stay focused and keep my eye on the prize. Soon, I found myself in the lead, with no one else in sight.

As the laps ticked by, I battled fiercely with the other drivers, jostling for position and trying to outmaneuver them at every turn. But I knew that my true competition was myself, and I had to stay focused and keep my head in the game if I wanted to succeed.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I crossed the finish line in first place, the checkered flag waving in the breeze.

As I crossed the finish line, I felt a surge of pride and excitement wash over me. I had done it - I had won my first Formula 2 race! And to top it all off, my big brother was there to see it all.

As I stepped out of my car, I was met with congratulations from my fellow drivers, including Arthur, who had finished in second place. We hugged each other tightly, both of us grinning from ear to ear.

I run trough parc fermé to Pierre who started congratulate me, and we shared a tight embrace. "I'm so proud of you, sis," he said, his eyes shining with emotion. "You were amazing out there, I'm so proud, you drove like a true champion out there."

I grinned up at him. "Thanks, Pierre. You're the best big brother anyone could ask for."

We celebrated together for a while, but soon it was time for me to head back to the pit lane and debrief with my team. Unfortunately, our parents couldn't make it to Azerbaijan to see me race, but I knew they were watching from home in Ruan, glued to the TV screen. But knowing that Pierre was there to support me made all the difference.

As I made my way to the winner's podium, I caught sight of Charles Leclerc, who was also there to support his brother Arthur, who had come in second place. I had become close friends with Arthur over the years, we had grown up together, since Pierre and Charles had been karting rivals in their younger days, and we had become close friends as well so I was thrilled to see that he had done so well.

After the race, Pierre, the Leclerc brothers, and I decided to celebrate our victories together, and I had a great time sharing stories and laughing together. We went out for a nice dinner, enjoying each other's company and swapping stories about our experiences on the track. I felt incredibly lucky to be surrounded by such talented and supportive individuals.

Later that night, we decided to FaceTime our parents to share the good news. Although they couldn't be there in person, they were overjoyed to see us all together and hear about our successes. They congratulated us on our victories and praised us for our hard work and dedication. They were so proud of us all, and promised to celebrate with us when we returned.

As we hung up the call, I turned to Pierre and the Leclerc brothers and said, "This is just the beginning, guys. We're going to go far in this sport, together." And with that, we raised our glasses and toasted to a bright future, filled with even more victories and moments of triumph.

[brilliant-red-eternity]

Psycho-Pass Providence:

my attempt to write a movie review.

I finally went to the movies and watched Psycho-Pass Providence with a friend last Tuesday. I knew the film would be packed with plot and action so we decided to see the German dubbed version. We just wanted to have a good time, and some nachos with cheese dip and beer. The cinema was maybe a quarter full which I don’t think is too bad for a weekday. There even was a girl cosplaying as Akane. I was pretty nervous the whole day. After reading so many negative reviews on Tumblr over the past few months, I prepared myself for the worst. Will Providence ruin this series for me? Is Shinkane dead? My friend encouraged me by saying, “watch the movie and form your own opinion”, and that’s what I did!

Providence is a diffuse colossus of a story but I liked it much better than PP3. The story is very action-heavy and plot-driven. You can feel the absence of Urobuchi’s writing because relatively little emphasis is placed on the emotions of the characters or their development. The dialogues are rather short and the action scenes quite long. Explosions and battles largely replace social criticism. Precious moments are few and far between. I think Ubukata came up with a really cool and offbeat plot, it’s just way too big for one movie. He should have made Providence into a series with many episodes, but that’s just my opinion. I can’t shake the feeling that he simply placed the characters into his massive plot as if they were chess pieces. Everyone does their job. They rush from one action to the next. Saiga is dead. On it goes. Akira is dead. There are no breaks. The ending is also very rushed and if I hadn’t already known why Akane shoots chief Kasei, I probably would have left the cinema with a massive question mark.

The Shinkane content in Providence is quite nice. And to say it right away: yes, I saw their hands touch in that bridal carry scene. It was very clear and less rushed than I thought. I’m just not sure if their fingers were intertwined or if Kogami had his fingers around Akane’s hand squeezing it. The phone call was also funny. My friend just sighed in her seat next to me and said a little too loudly: “I can’t believe Akane is in love with this clumsy idiot! Why can’t he just apologize?” Yeah, why? Akane hung up the phone and her face was so adorable. The romantic comedy was only perfect when Saiga cheered Kogami on in the elevator afterwards (“Come on, make an effort!”) and Ko acted like a petulant child (“I don’t know what you mean!”). Really, Ko? You were playing dumb in front of sensei? Was Kogami embarrassed that his former teacher was interfering in their relationship? However, these two were in dire need of counselling that’s why I found the idea of Saiga acting as their therapist quite entertaining.

I still don’t know what to make of Shinkane in Providence. I have too many thoughts and feelings, that’s why I’d like to deal with this topic separately in another post. Shinkane is not dead at all, but it hasn’t evolved either. Each of them basically does their own thing when it comes to work and I can’t shake the impression that Akane would have found Kogami rather unsexy if she had met him for the first time in PPP. I love Kogami, but he doesn’t contribute much to the story except that he saves Akane’s life in the end.

Now that I’ve seen the film, it sounds more than absurd to claim that they have no other relationship than a collegial working relationship. I mean, it’s obviously not work or a shared conviction that ties them together and makes Akane answer the phone late at night, but their old acquaintance. They have an unresolved personal conflict between them, and a wide range of unexplored emotions. All the social awkwardness fits in with that. And the creators even went one step further with the romantic scenes:

I already knew about the scene in which Kogami jumps on top of Akane (and between her legs) to protect her from an explosion but I didn’t expect the whole thing to play out in slow motion. Holy shit! My heart leapt. I mean, what am I looking at here if not a romantic subplot? You can see every detail crisp and clear: how his hands are embracing and protecting her head from the impact, how their bodies stick together rather indecently. And Akane and Ko don’t immediately get up and run, no. They stay put for the time being looking at each other and then Ko states the obvious like a brain dead fool: “It’s a dangerous place, we should retreat.”

Yeah, well… who would have thought that explosions and shootings would be dangerous? Kogami’s blood must have gone from his brain to some other part of his body, there’s no other way to explain this level of silliness. We’ve already seen Kogami protecting Akane from an explosion before. He threw her like a sack of potatoes in the movie but THIS is something else entirely. THIS is screaming “You’re the most precious person on earth to me”. Same goes for the bridal carry. The scene isn’t as rushed as their encounter in the wheat field, no. The animators kind of savour their last scene in Providence and you have to be wilfully blind to not notice Kogami’s affection for Akane or their touching hands.

I can understand the widespread criticism of Kogami’s strange behaviour in PPP. It’s not quite what I expected either, but I didn’t expect anything else. Sounds crazy, huh? I know. I don’t know if Ubukata’s writing style is to blame for Ko’s derailment. I guess the writers deliberately wanted to create some tension in the form of personal conflict which is a common and cheap trick that can also be found in romantic YA literature.

It is nevertheless credible to a certain extend. Kogami has returned to a world with a wall between latent criminals and citizens with healthy Psycho-Passes. Social conventions are a corset. They make us act differently. The fact that he doesn’t hit on Akane actually says a lot of good things about his character. He knows nothing about her life, except that it hasn’t gone down the drain yet. What role does he still play in Akane’s life? Does she even need his help? When you look at Kogami’s issue with addressing Akane properly, it becomes clear that he’s uncertain: kanshikan, omae, anta, yo. Akane has already gathered a team around her and Kogami is standing outside the door. He’s the odd man out. He’s also an incorrigible idiot who doesn’t have it in him to apologize.

They give each other nothing at first. That’s why I like the scene in the hospital so much because it changes their relationship for good. Akane’s visit is proof to Kogami that he is important to her. She cares about his health and she even takes the cigarette from his mouth. Akane also invites him to join her team (“We’re a team, right?”) and you can see the relief on Kogami’s face. After that, their interactions become lighter and more honest. Team PSB and Team SAD no longer go separate ways.

I really like the camaraderie between Kogami and Frederika. I found them both very independent in their work, which led me to ask whether Frederika is his boss at all. I read somewhere that they both have the same rank of “special investigator” which also fits in well with the way they talk to each other. I remember Akane asking Kogami during their phone call what Yabuki thought of his past actions. I guess that makes Shogo Yabuki his boss and Frederika his senpai? There was one thing that annoyed me, though, and that was that Frederika did everything her boss Yabuki told her to do. She even kept it a secret from Kogami that they were using Saiga as bait. Why didn’t she say “no” for once?

Providence has a few highlights that I just can’t leave unmentioned. It isn’t the best film, but it’s also not as bad as many have made it out to be. The scene in which Gino grabs Kogami by the collar, calls him an asshole and pushes him roughly against the glass pane of the office was quite the cliché. It could have come straight from a fan fic. Kogami remains calm and I don’t find him arrogant. Sugo tries to intervene, but I had the impression that it’s primarily Akane’s staged indifference towards Kogami that keeps Gino from exploding with rage. Gino pulls himself together the moment he sees Akane entering the office. If there’s one thing I love about their dynamics, it’s how they always try to protect each other in the most subtle but effective way. Gino is like the big brother we all want to have. He is by Akane’s side after Saiga dies and he reminds Kogami of the duty to not let Akane become a latent criminal. I can’t say often enough how much I adore Ginoza and his loyalty to Akane.

But Gino does not only protect Akane, he also saves Frederika’s life twice. These two have a little scene in Providence that I find cute. Standing amidst the ruins of the building after the battle, Gino asks Frederika how she is. She says “not too bad” while stroking her hair almost sheepishly like a schoolgirl. Is it the first time that a colleague asks Frederika about her well-being? Is this how things are at the SAD? I never saw Kogami turn around to look at her, even though she always saves his stupid ass from getting kicked. And her boss Yabuki only ever entrusted her with the most dangerous missions (aka “dirty work in the name of justice”). It really sucks to be a strong woman sometimes. It sucks when performance is always expected without complaint. That’s why it’s all the more refreshing when a hot guy like Gino asks if you’re still alive, right Frederika?

Overall, it was very cool to see Frederika on the battlefield since she’s quite capable and knows how to handle weapons. I didn’t like her passive role in PP3, where she just sat in her neat little office and gave orders. PP is kind of understaffed in terms of female characters so it was good to see Frederika having a more active role this time. I hope that in the future they will give her a backstory. It’s more the personal things that make a character interesting for me. I mean, what was her relationship with Yabuki? She shed a tear after his death, or was this just an optical illusion?

There was nothing to complain about the quality of the animation in Providence. It was first class. The wedding was beautiful and I really liked the colours and fireworks of the Chinese New Year festival in the streets of Dejima. It made a nice contrast to the gloomy dark dystopian world of Sibyl. The Chinese New Year also brings me directly to the scene that, oddly enough, touched me the most: Akira’s death. Atsushi Shindou shoots him on the roof of the MoFA as the fireworks go off and with his last words Akira says, “Take care of Kei, I want him to have a different life than mine.” It was a beautiful but also very sad moment. There were many deaths in the film but the pace of the story was way too fast for me to mourn them properly. It’s a shame, especially since most of the time was spent on action scenes. I don’t know how many minutes I watched Sugo trying to shoot a satellite out of the sky with his drone.

Saiga’s death is tragic but it has great influence on Akane. In the end, his last words (“justice and truth are multifaceted”) encourage her to stand up for her convictions and turn against Sibyl in order to uphold the law. I noticed that Saiga is already very tired at the beginning of Providence, as if he no longer expects anything great from life and prefers to pass the baton to the younger generation. Perhaps that is also why he tries to persuade Kogami to bury the hatchet with Akane. “You should apologize to her. Take this advice from an old man like me.” It seems that he wanted to leave the world in peace, knowing that he has given his students all he could give. So from that point of view, his passing is dignified. His hands are even folded and placed on top of his chest after he dies. I couldn’t help but think that it is meant as a religious gesture: that he will be accepted by God if not by Sibyl.

Sibyl is as disgusting as ever and that’s all there is to say. Their hypocrisy is simply unbearable. And then no one has the courage to stand up for the preservation of the rule of law – least of all the Ministry of Justice. What a joke! We also learn that it’s totally fine for Sibyl to give absolution and sovereignty to a group of criminals (the Peacebreakers) as long as they come from their own criminal ranks. Well, one crow does not peck out another crow’s eye, right? I don’t know whether Atsushi Shindou could be trusted or not, although he has pulled some important strings in the background. The old man seemed weary just like Saiga, but he thought very highly of Akane and campaigned for her in front of Sibyl which made him likeable in my eyes. He was also a good mentor.

I must not forget to mention the true antagonists of the story, first and foremost Tonami the White. He is the leader of the Peacebreakers, a group of former soldiers and mercenaries of Sibyl who see themselves in the tradition of a cult. They worship a similar AI like Sibyl that also has wired brains in boxes and they see it as their God and commander. The cult did seem rather bizarre and fantastic sometimes, but I got the impression that this is exactly Ubukata’s style.

Tonami is a despicable man. He tells Akane that despite his old age, he can still take on a young girl like her, then he draws a gun and starts to shoot her. Congratulations, man! She’s unarmed, and pulling a trigger is really not much of a feat. Asshole! He was clearly afraid that Akane would be superior in a fistfight.

I remember a heated debate on social media about whether Kogami should have killed Tonami or not. Well, I would argue that he had no choice but to shoot this man if he wanted to make sure Akane got out of there alive (“Protect Tsunemori!”). Akane looks relieved when she sees Kogami. She smiles at him as if she knows that her life is safe from now on. But then she continues to provoke Tonami with her words. The man points a damn gun to her head and she has already been shot twice and lies bleeding on the floor in handcuffs. Should Kogami twiddle his thumbs and wait to see what happens? Well, he does. But only for a moment.

Kogami’s face is empty while Akane is being tortured. It’s devoid of emotion, not even anger shows on his face. I was like: huh? I first thought it was bad animation or some artificial intervention to evade romance and keep the Kouakas from losing their minds, but in retrospect, it occurred to me that perhaps… Kogami is simply listening to the conversation in front of him? Akane and Tonami are talking about the Sibyl System and it’s true nature. They are talking about AI vs. humanity. They are talking about integrating this other AI into Sibyl and the boxes with the brains are standing just a few meters away from them. Snippets and fragments, but Kogami isn’t stupid. It was him who found a decapitated professor Stronskaya on the ship. Her head was taken away by the Peacebreakers and we later learn that her brain was put into a box for their AI. Kogami has been wondering for a while what kind of influence Akane has on the system. And even Tonami (who calls her “a witch that disturbs the social order”) is kind of astounded at what Akane knows and what she is capable of.

Kogami agrees with Tonami and then shoots him in the head. I really don’t know which part he agrees with. I can only explain it by saying that, unlike Akane, Kogami has lost faith in humanity. Kogami knows what humans are capable of and that they are easily corrupted. But he believes in Akane, so there’s that. It’s only natural that he would save her at any cost.

I didn’t perceive Akane as angry though. She knows Kogami well enough and wanted him to come with her on the mission. Kogami “breaking the law again” certainly saddens and disappoints her, but I don’t think she necessarily wants to enforce him. Atsushi Shindou shot Akira in front of Akane and she didn’t arrest him. If she were now to arrest Kogami, she would have double standards. I remember director Shiotani saying in an interview that Kogami voluntarily let Akane arrest him. Well, that actually sounds quite logical to me because I honestly don’t see Akane taking the initiative. But Kogami acting like a repentant little puppy in front of Akane, the “goddess and bodhisattva” he expects to make the world a better place? Yes, I can very well imagine that – only that at this point she is just a bleeding human being in his arms.

Akane’s incident was… wow. I knew what she was up to beforehand, but I still found the whole thing quite mind-boggling. Where did Akane get the gun she shot chief Kasei with? Everyone was looking forward to her inauguration. Gino, Sugo, Shion and Yayoi… they were watching it on TV. What has my girl done?

I wouldn’t go so far as to blame Kogami. There is a trend right now to make him the scapegoat for everything that happens to Akane, but somehow that is not right and would completely undermine Akane’s independence. There is no guarantee that the arrest and prosecution of Tonami would have worked. Sibyl is not a reliable negotiating partner. I think Akane chose a more effective way by immediately involving the public and getting them to discuss the preservation of the law. At least, it worked. But why the letter to Kogami? It wasn’t a tit-for-tat response. I think Akane wanted to say goodbye. She didn’t know what would happen to her or whether they would see each other again. These two threw their lives away and stood up for their beliefs in justice. Was it brave or was it foolish? Who knows. But the closing of a circle was pretty well executed by the creators of the series in my opinion.

I still have no clue why Kogami was released from confinement. I can only speculate that MoFA has negotiated a deal. I also remember that his Psycho-Pass was encrypted in PP3 and no longer accessible via Sibyl’s dominator. There is a strong competition between the ministries and certainly no help can be expected from Sibyl. Mika had to literally beg chief Kasei to allow her to send out a rescue mission for Akane who was already classified as a traitor because she went to take on the Peacebreakers on her own. Why would they let Kogami go, the traitor who killed a criminal pardoned by Sibyl in order to rescue the traitor Akane? No. He was released at the behest of MoFA. It is therefore not surprising that Akane has arranged the transfer of Gino and Sugo to MoFA. Nothing bothers Sibyl more than loyal dogs and I’m certain that these two would have been thrown into the isolation facility the moment Akane lost her position as inspector.

Okay, I’ll stop rambling now. I’d like to end this post with a quote from the friend who went with me to the movies. We saw Psycho-Pass together five years ago and I was very curious to hear her opinion. We both agreed that Akane's performance in Providence is once again superb. She’s a queen. One of the best female characters of all time. What she said about Kogami may irritate some but I can only agree: “It wasn’t his most mature performance, but in the end he could be relied upon!”

Providence was fun. It was okay. It wasn’t Psycho-Pass at its best but at least, it answered the question that has been on my mind for almost four years: what did Akane do that landed her in prison?

[liviusofpella]

Reyna right after fighting her way back to the Light Realm✨

@bladesrc

We all know who I am, you know I had to start with angst🙈 I also decided to go a little extra and wrote a mini fic for this edit!

At first, she was blinded by the bright lights reflecting in the marble chamber and stunned as her head hit the ground. Then, all she heard was buzzing in her ears and some commotion in the distance. Someone was approaching, she deduced from the rhythmic thumping on the ground, and soon she felt the touch of so well-known hands on her cheek. Groaning, she forced herself to a sitting position, but immediately regretted that, feeling as if a wave of nausea was about to hit. 

She remembered saying something to him, and then vomiting, but after that she lost contact with reality, not unconscious but not able to take care of herself either, and that's when Kade took over, just as she'd done for him many times before.

When she came to, she was lying in bed in a familiar chamber with Kade holding her hand to his lips. There were two guards stationed by the door and she immediately tensed.

“Kade,” she whispered. “Am I in trouble?”

“Reya, thank the stars,” he mumbled, opening his eyes immediately at the sound of her voice, and he rushed to close his sister in a bear hug. She enveloped him too, although without as much force.

“You're hurting me.”

“Sorry, sorry, I am just so happy to see you again.”

Kade pulled away, but his hands remained on her shoulders, holding her in place as he took in the sight of her with glassy eyes and a big smile on his face. Reyna smiled back at him, but her brows furrowed.

“Why are you acting like this?”

“Like what?”

“Like you haven't seen me in so long. It was just a couple of days, I know it must’ve been stressful but—”

“Reya, you’ve been gone for a year.”

“Impossible,” she whispered, shaking her head. Only then she remembered that the last time she saw her brother his face was covered in bruises, while now there was not a single trace of them. Her face fell. “Where’s Tyril?”

Kade bit his lip, his hand now squeezed Reyna’s in a poor attempt to calm her down. “Don’t get nervous, you should be resting.”

“Did something happen to him?”

“No! No, he’s alright, it’s just… He’s in Undermount. Pretty much everyone left the castle by now, only Threep and Loola are here.”

They left. She swallowed slowly, trying to calm her nerves and to sort out her thoughts. “He left?”

“We combed through the Royal Archives together for months, but at last we reached the conclusion that perhaps the elves have the answers we were looking for, so he went back to work from there. He’s still looking, he didn’t leave you,” Kade reassured. “I’ll call a chambermaid for you and—”

"No, don’t. I’m alright, I can still take care of myself,” she stopped him and smiled weakly. 

“Are you sure?”

“I am," she nodded lazily. "I just want to take the bubbliest bath in history, my whole body hurts." 

Kade gently squeezed his sister's hand and sent her a reassuring smile. "Alright, you deserve it. I'll send for a physician in an hour, and then—"

"Send for Tyril, please."

As she caught a sight of her broken body in the mirror, she was glad the room was only illuminated by several candles. Her feet brought her closer to the reflective surface, her lip quivered unwillingly. 

Her fingers touched the protruding clavicles, then ribs, only to finally slide down to her hip bones, covered in multicoloured bruises. She lost weight. Her split lip started bleeding again, and she watched as the blood drops slid down her chin and then down her chest.

“Oh.”

A battleground. The first chance she had to see herself in a mirror was right before she entered the tub, inviting with the warm scent of lavender. Her body was a battleground. 

She swore under her breath, taking in every little bruise and cut, touching it just a bit too roughly, which caused additional waves of pain. Her body looked worse than after the battle with the Dreadlord.

Reyna shuddered at the thought of another scientist's hands touching her broken body, being exposed to another stranger. She felt lonely, her skin was cold. She wanted Tyril to hold her, to kiss every bruise and cut, to massage healing ointments into her skin as tenderly as only his hands could. But what if he didn't wait for her? What if it proved too much for him, and he found someone better in his homeland? What if her friends didn't look for her any more? 

Sighing heavily, Reyna carefully took off her underwear, cringing with every move, and threw it on the floor, intending to dispose of it the second she leaves the bathroom. 

She slowly submerged in the steaming water, and a sigh of relief left her lips when she lied comfortably in the tub. The bubbles happily burst against her skin, tickling her in the most delicate way, reminding her that one's touch can be gentle. If not for the burning in his eyes, she wouldn’t realise she was crying. She had no reason to—she didn’t even know what happened, after all. She didn’t remember. The wounds would heal and she would be brand new. She would find her friends, and they would be together again. All would be well. So why was she weeping, unable to catch a breath?

When she left the bathtub, the mirror was fogged, concealing her reflection from her eyes. It was better that way, she preferred not to see herself. 

Reyna looked around the well-known room, inspecting it for any changes, any traces of Tyril's recent activity, and at last her own belongings. 

They had spent the whole week between returning from the Shadow Realm and her kidnapping in this room, mostly in bed or in the bathtub. Naturally, she gripped his pillow, searching for his scent or a letter left on the sheets, only to find herself disappointed. She was conflicted, confused, a bit disappointed, still hoping Kade was playing a trick on her, and she was in fact gone for a few days. The weather was just as she remembered, trees lazily shedding their colourful leaves and chilly rainy nights. 

She had Kade dismiss the physician’s help, claiming she was fine. She would take care of it. She just needed to sleep it off.

Kade wrapped his arms as gently as he could around his bruised sister, lovingly caressing the back of her head as she cried into his shirt for what felt like hours on end. He shed a tear as well, although he tried his best to conceal it—Reyna needed him to be the strong one now. Once she cried out all her tears, she asked Kade to sing her a lullaby, as he often did throughout their life in Riverbend.

"And please don't leave me alone tonight," she pleaded, tugging on his wrist. 

"Of course, I'll stay and watch over you," he assured and tucked her frail body in before pressing a kiss to the top of her head, in the same way she always did when he was sick and afraid he wouldn't pull through. 

[yaut-jaknowit]

Gone

Pairing: Pel (Male Yautja) x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Death of reader, very sad, emotional Yautja, slight gore

Word Count: 1443

Summary: The past is hard to relive. Especially when the one loved is gone. Pel's just an old Yautja trying to continue living through the days. Hunting hasn't been same for a long time. He refuses to hunt. After the incident.

Author Note: So, this one is a lot more sad then I usually write. But after Battling Dangers, I wanted to write one more angsty one. I don't feel one hundred percent confident with this one. I wanted to write more at one part but couldn't bring myself up to do it. Maybe in the future you'll learn how Pel got to those events.

Masterlist

Ao3

Pel had taught you well in his adolescent life. From the basics to intermediate, you learned everything he had to offer and more. Similar to a young Yautja, you absorb everything possible to make him proud. And the day you went out on your first hunt alone, he couldn’t be more of a nervous wreck. It wasn’t a preferable trait as a species that hunts deadly aliens. But he does not lie. He waited by that console since the moment you left and until you returned.

When you had stepped foot into his space, two skulls in hand, Pel ran up to you and embraced you. Like it had been a lifetime since the last time the two of you had seen each other. He wasn’t going to easily admit that. Especially when a couple of his hunt brothers stopped by later to congratulate you for the successful hunt. The wide smile on your face brightened the room. They were surprised about your survival let alone gaining two skulls in the process. A human being able to be like a Yautja, nearly unheard of.

That didn’t stop them from crowding around you and questioning respectfully about the hunt. You happily spoke of the harrowing dangers and proudly showed off the skulls. He, himself, felt pride swell in his heart at how clean they bones were. They shined in the low light of your shared living space.

Later that night after they had left, Pel used the bones he has in his trophy room to create a necklace. It took him a day to gather the courage to give it to you. That toothy grin told him everything before you had even jumped on him. He spun the two of you around and purred happily. You kissed his alien face to the best of your ability. That night was the best you’ve ever felt.

He huffed before taking a sip of a throat burning drink. The pain it would’ve caused couldn’t be felt as he stared mindlessly at the bar counter. Over the white noise ringing in his ears almost drowned out the voices and glass clinking together. An instinct that was drilled into his brain since he was a suckling. No matter what happened, he couldn’t fully ignore his surroundings.

When you went out on your second hunt, this time with him, he remembered it vividly. Every single moment with you burned into his mind.

The Yautja had never seen so much red blood in his existence. And it had terrified him. Was he going to loose you? This was your second hunt. You couldn’t die! He cared for you far more than he should.

His elders would be shaking their heads if they had been there. The hunt wasn’t a full failure though. One skull was gained from the whole ordeal.

To be honest, you were dying in his arms. It was a young blood mistake you had made but it had diverted the creature away from him. You had saved him and he had to return the favor. Not only was his honor on the line, but the only other person he cared about in his life. No one else came to mind easily at the thought. You had to live or he would die along side with you.

Similar to when you had gone out on your first hunt, his hands trembled trying to work on you. All the while, you would crack jokes as you choked on your own blood. At that moment, he wasn’t laughing. Now though, when he thinks back to that time, it makes his shoulders shake. Other patrons gave him weird looks.

Afterwards, you were fine, sore and beyond tired, but alright. That’s what all mattered to him. That you were okay.

The new scars that decorated your body were sight he loved to see. Every time you put on a normal shirt, he would huff and puff and complain until you took it off. His hands roamed your marred skin, praising and purring away. You made jokes about every single time, teasing him about it. But it didn’t bother him, no. He actually liked hearing you talk.

About your tenth hunt with him, he didn’t worry quiet as much. The two of you worked so well in tune with each other that it went without words on how to proceed with a hunt. Since humans, on average, were smaller than Yautjas, you could go places he could not. Sort of in a way, vice versa, he could do thing you could not.

Thirty more hunts later, most hunts went to plan without words. You would do something. He would work with it. Pel would so something. You would work with it. Two peas in a pods just going along in the universe without a care in the world.

One night, the two of you were curled up in the shared room on his ship. Pel softly petted your hair while your head was tucked up underneath his chin. One of his thick thighs was slung over you. His other arm held your body against his. Gentle purrs rumbled from his chest. You were running a finger up and down his arm.

The moment was calm and serene. Nothing like he’s ever experienced before you came into your life. Your other hand came up and grabbed a dark tress. Pel’s told you after the first time you had touched one what it had meant. His purr stuttered.

All you did though was hold onto it like a toy. Not everything you did was sexual. This moment wasn’t. The two of you just wanted to be together.

.

.

Then it all changed.

Both of you had lost count on how many hunts it had been. This one wasn’t high risk yet it had a good reward. The meat you would collect could give you a lot of credits to keep you guys happy for some time. You were excited for this. Pel could easily read it on your face and felt that same emotion. More skulls to collect.

With you.

He did it.

His fist slammed against the bar counter. Those around him paused and stared at him. The bartender less than five feet away from him tightened her grip on the cup in her hand. “Are we going to have a problem, hm?” Her words slid over him like butter on a hot pan.

A vicious arrow stuck out your chest. Fear filled your wide eyes as you stared up at Pel. One of your hands shakily reached up towards his blurring face. His skin felt on fire but the burn didn’t hurt. Nothing registered fully in your brain yet. All you knew was it beginning to become hard to breath and your head felt light.

You whispered his name, tears starting spill from the corner of your eyes. His mandibles are clicking wildly but none of the words you could understand. What was happening?

Everything started to become cold and distance. Terror filled your slowing veins. Both of your arms weakly wrapped around his neck and tried to pull him close. Yet something stopped you from doing so. Your head gazed down to find an arrow through your chest. What?

The arrow was familiar. You looked back up at Pel. “Why?” you whimpered, arms too weak.

You were gone with a quiet, last breath. All Pel could do was stare. And stare. And stare.

Pel slowly straightened his back. Dull eyes finding the bartender. She could easily see the sorrow he carries. She slightly eased up on her posture.

“Just don’t cause any trouble, hm?” Pel dipped his head then bowed it, greying tresses slightly creating a curtain. At his motion, the bartender left him to his own devices. Another burning drink before him. He decides to take it and down it just like the others.

After she had left, tears pooled in his eyes. No one could see it unless they looked close enough. His biomask hung off of his hip, hiding a smaller one. Many places don’t allow for those types of things unless its medically necessary. Not for the Yautja. This bar doesn’t allow for biomasks.

He shifted slightly in his seat. Bones rattling around his neck. One of his hands came up and wrapped around it. It took all of his will power and more to not sob in front of everyone. “I loved them more than anything in this universe and they’re dead because of me.” The confession was whispered. Only those less than a foot away could hear.

And no one wants to be close a Yautja.

[toska-writes]

“Sniper”

Summary: Dispatched with the strange group known as Clone Force 99 you find yourself trying to win the respect of a hard to please sniper

Pairing: Crosshair x Padawan Reader (Platonic)

Warning: A very soft Crosshair! Mentions of a gun ofc

Word Count: 1496

Read here on ao3! (✩)

The batch was interesting, well that's what you heard. On the battle field they fought perfectly in sync, barely communicating. But to be with them even for a short time? To say the least you were worried you'd mess it up.

Your master left you in the company of Clone Force 99 temporarily while another battle was being fought, apparently deemed to dangerous for you.

The Marauder touched down in the middle of a clearing, some planet in the middle of the outer rim was said to have Separatist activity, and the batch was to scout ahead to make sure it was worth the Republics time to investigate.

Hunter and Tech went out to scout first which left you, Wrecker, and Grouchy McGrouch to watch the ship.

The others seemed to come on to you fine when you first met but a certain sniper was pretty hard to please.

"I think," Wrecker started, startling you a little bit with the volume " he'll come round, your a great kid to be around." He gestured towards Crosshair. Clearly he saw you staring

"Thanks Wreck" You sighed leaning against the ship. "I'm just worried he thinks I'm an annoying little nat-born."

"He probably does." Wrecker said bluntly "But he thinks that about everyone, and if that's nat-born it's reg, or shiny or-" He started rambling different names, all not sounding the nicest but something caught your attention.

It was probably the stupidest idea, but it would be stupider not the act on it right?

With as much confidence you could must you walked over to where Crosshair was sat cleaning his precious riffle. Seriously how many times does he do that?

"Hey Crosshair" You said walking up to him, why were you nervous, and why was it so important you needed him to like you? At least acknowledge you in a less formal way.

"Sir" He nodded never looking up. The toothpick in his mouth moved from one side to the other

"Well- umm" You started, not really thinking ahead this far. "I had some questions about that."

You pointed to where the sleek weapon was cradled in his arms.

“My sniper?" He asked, finally meeting your gaze. Clearly he also was surprised by the question.

"Yeah, well I don't normally use anything like that because I have my lightsaber and the extra vibro-blade" You stated. "I mean I used a DC-15S before but they are quite different obviously-" You trailed off, you caught the confused look in Crosshairs eyes

"They are quite different." The tone he used betrayed nothing of what he was thinking. "Of course something a little more... similar would be the DC-15A blaster riffle, but I myself prefer the 773 Firepuntcher rifle."

Now you were getting somewhere. This is exactly what you wanted, you just needed to find the right things to discuss especially if the other is interested in it.

"Wow a 773 rifle." You whistled, trying to contain your victory smile. "Now does it have a lot of backlash and how much range does it have, oh and what about the modifications you made?" You practically bombarded him with questions.

He answered a few, his tone still sounding the same as before, but you kept coming back with questions or anything else that might help make a better impression of you in his eyes.

After a few more minutes of this he quietly got up and signaled with his head for you to follow.

The two of you walked into the surrounding trees, Crosshairs long legs keep a very swift pace with you practically running to catch up, he found a small opening and crouched down.

"Your lucky I was bored enough to do this." He quipped. A stand popped out from the underside of the rifle, he got to his stomach the gun propped up in front with the back end crowded by his shoulder.

'Oh what the kriff' You though getting onto your own stomach beside crosshair.

"The modifications on this have it so the firepower is released quieter and not as much back lash hits the user." Crosshair said slowly linking his eye up with the scope on top.

You were amazed to say the least, seeing someone in their element like that was incredible. You didn't say anything only nodded worried that you were going to distract him.

He aimed up a little then pulled the trigger and let it fire, a perfect hole was in the middle of a low hanging leaf. Some smoke went up but it was still intact, a little more to either side would have make the leaf rip. Somehow it also didn't disintegrate

"Wow" Was all you could croak out, eyes wide still staring."

You almost missed the pleased smirk coming from the the sharpshooter. "Honestly kid, I though you saw a sniper doing their work before."

'Kid' Now you were getting somewhere.

He made another quick gesture with his head and you got back down to the laying position nearly touching sides with Crosshair.

"Ever shoot one before." You looked at him confused, was he really going the way you though he was with this?

"No" You shook your head.

He quickly rearranged the riffle to fit between your right shoulder, sure it was a tad bit big and lengthy for your liking but you were touching Crosshairs riffle. HIS RIFFLE, you were sure people lost fingers trying to do it before you.

"Cross-" You started but stopped as he positioned your hand to the appropriate space.

"Try to find another leaf" He said. His head was angled to try and look down the top of the gun from where he was still on his stomach.

You put your eye up to the scope. "Ok not that close." He almost snapped.

You backed up and regrouped for a seconded. Trying again you look through.

"Fix your hands, and your position." Was he loosing patience or was that how he always was? You obeyed him though.

"How about that one?" You aimed up,It was rhetorical but it made you feel better none the less.

"The one next to it." Was very bluntly said next to you, clearly it wasn't rhetorical.

You went a little towards the left, the air seemed to grow thicker as you sized up the leaf.

You sat there for a moment more, Crosshairs hands hovering around making slight adjustments here and there. This is we're the doute slowly crept in.

"Shhhh" was all that came from besides you.

Crosshair aimed the barrel a little high up and then gave the nod to fire.

The shot was fired, you barely got pushed back as the force of the shot rocked the gun backwards.

At least you hit something, the trunk of the tree had a freshly made wound glowing red until it cooled.

"See?" Was all you mumbled.

Crosshair shook his head, meeting your eyes he said "again, this time don't think as much."

You sighed lining yourself up again. Crosshair made a few tweaks but then let you go free.

"Go blank" He said again then gave you the nod to shoot.

The shot fired again.

"I did it!" A giddy laugh escaped your mouth. You sat up slightly on your elbows "Did you see that!"

You looked eagerly to the man sitting next to you.

"I did." He nodded.

You sprang from your spot of the forest floor and tan to collect your prize. Sure the leaf wasn't perfectly as clean but it didn't fall apart and you were thankful for that.

"Look at it! Look!" You ran back to Cross with your arms outstretched. He took was already standing with his riffle already neatly away and slung around his shoulder.

He gave you a ginger smile then took the delicate leaf from your hands holding it up slightly to his face.

"That was pretty decent kid." He said looking down to you. He gave a solemn nod handing you back the leaf.

Those words could have sent you to another planet, that was all you were looking for from the teams sniper.

The two of you started back to the clearing, this time you were ahead with a little more pep in your step ready to show your small victory to the team.

"Hunter look what Crosshair showed me to do!" You ran up to him.

"Wow Crosshair let you touch his riffle?" Wrecker asked with a smile on his own face.

"Mhm it was so cool!" You practically shouted

Hunter looked up from your happy face to meet his brothers.

Crosshair once again leaned against the ship popping a toothpick in his mouth giving his brother a small smirk and a shrug.