#and i’m so afraid of losing my love of drawing because i’m so fucking stupid about this shit

[kirathegreatfoxandkingofeyeballs]

Have you ever been so inspired to make something, but lack the technical skill to make it, or for some reason or another have no way to externally express this like pent up need to make SOMETHING, and it feels like a gazillion thoughts running through your head and you get so restlessly frustrated because you NEED to make something, but for some reason or another, be it personal or technical, you just can’t? And then you end up giving yourself an anxiety attack and heart palpitations and it feels like you’re going to explode?

[strniohoeee]

oooo okay what i'm boutta request may sound crazy but

could you do a fluffy fic where it's all in matt's pov and he has a huge crush on the reader and he's so anxious around her and nick puts it together that matt is in love with the reader and one day they're hanging and matt's nervous around the reader and the reader is worried and asks matt what wrong and like after being so scared and shy matt blurts out he's in love with the reader and has been for a while and it turns out reader is in love with matt too and boom they kiss and become boyfriend and girlfriend

Dreaming

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Plagued by the constant nervousness Y/N makes Matt feel he takes to his journal. Afraid that his feelings are one sided he keeps it quiet until Y/N confronts him 📝

Warnings⚠️: None, kinda short??? I hope you enjoy tho🤞🏽

Song for the imagine: Ivy- Frank Ocean

I thought that I was dreaming

When you said you loved me

The start of nothin

I had no chance to prepare

Matt’s POV

Entry #14

Writing this down seems embarrassing because this isn’t something I do, but I have no one to talk to. I think that I’m falling in love? No! I know I’m in love, but does she love me back is the million dollar question.

I don’t crush on girls often, but when a girl is as gorgeous as Y/N how can I not? Everything about her draws me to her….like a moth to a flame. An ache comes to my heart everytime I see her because she’s so close yet so far away.

I was never shy around a girl I liked, but there’s something about her….I can’t explain it. Her dark intense eyes, her soft face, her gorgeous smile, her nails always perfectly shaped. Long but not too long just enough to capture someone’s gaze. The way she’d blink faster and bite her pointer finger nail when she was thinking hard about something.

Her ring clattered fingers, like ice to my skin when she’d grab my arm to tell me something. I mean her laugh…..always covering her mouth because she hated the face she’d make as she let laughter erupt from her chest.

She was always laughing too and it made me smile just to hear the joy come out of her. I’m not really sure when I started to like her, but it just happened. One day her looks and her touches made me nervous. It was a gradual liking that suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks.

She’s also our best friend, so admitting my feelings to her seems a bit dicey. I was never given any notion that she liked me more than a friend, unless she’s good at hiding it. I can’t fathom losing her as a friend because of my stupid feelings.

I guess time will tell…

-Matt

“Matt what the fuck are you doing?” Nick says barging into my room. Causing me to slam my book shut and snap my head up at him

“Nothing. I’m writing” I said placing the book on my lap

“We’ve been calling your name for a while….Y/N thought you weren’t here or anything” he said laughing

“Y/N’s here?” I asked my eyebrows perking up

“Uh yeah” he said furrowing his brows at me

“And she was looking for me?” I asked scratching the back of my neck

“Well we were all looking for you….What's going on?” Nick asked looking at me sideways

“Nothing nothings going on” I said shaking my head

“Okayyy then” he said raising his eyebrows

I threw my book on the bed and stood up stretching and patting Nick on the shoulder

“I’ll be in living room” I replied walking out my bedroom door

Unbeknown to Matt his journal had propped open on his bed. Showcasing the entry he just wrote, and Nick raised his eyebrows. Truly enticed by what he was writing

“Nick this is wrong” the boy said to himself

He trotted over to the bed and shook his head…thinking he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help himself. Matt was acting weird lately and he figured the reason would be within these pages.

Looking over to see if anyone was near the door he let a breath of air out as he grabbed the book and looked down.

His eyes popping out of his head at what he was reading. Holy shit? My brother is in love with our best friend? He thought to himself

The way he described her had Nick's eyes scanning the page rapidly looking for more. How did Y/N not realize how head over heels this kid was for her….

But then he thought and things started to add up. Nervous around Y/N randomly, avoiding eye contact, getting embarrassed easily, catching him stare at Y/N always….

He knew it! All along Nick knew that his brother had a thing for Y/N, and he feels kind of dumb that it took him this long to realize why his brother was acting so weird.

Nick shut the book and placed it back on the bed. His heart racing with this new information that he was not supposed to know about.

Matt’s POV

Y/N had come over for our monthly movie night. Since our friendship started one night every month we binge watched all types of movies.

Y/N called it her stay relevant with current pop culture night. I just think she liked movies and needed a good excuse to keep us seated for hours on end.

Before playing our first movie we decided to eat dinner. Chris offered to cook and we all scurried away from the kitchen. Opting for McDonald’s instead.

“What movies are you planning for tonight?” Chris asked Y/N

“I’m not sure I think we should start with something sad and then build our way up to scary and then romance and then comedy” she said taking a sip of her drink

“What’s your idea of sad?” Nick asked her

“Now I wouldn’t say it’s sad, but it seems alt and creepy and it has a deep message” she began to say

“You’re such a weirdo” Chris said cutting her off

“Hey! Let her say the movie” I butt in sticking my hand out to stop Chris

“Thanks Matt, it’s requiem for a dream” she said looking at me

“Never heard of it” Nick said

“Yeah me neither” Chris replied

“Well it’s about drug addicts who are trying to find ways to get their next high, but it all starts to go wrong and it’s supposedly really good” she said getting excited

We all kind of looked at her. Me enticed and Nick and Chris bored

“Nick and Chris are looking at me like I’m crazy, but how about you Matt?” She asked looking over at me

“Hmm?” I replied looking at her

“The movie? Want to watch it?” She asked

“Uhh yeah, sure” I said smiling at her

“See! This is why you’re my favorite” he said leaning over and hugging me while laughing

Instantly her touch made me stiffen up. I was becoming nervous and my voice was straining far from me. All I could do was offer a pat to her arm and a smile.

Her eyebrows furrow at this and I mentally smack myself in the head. What the fuck was that? I thought

We cleaned up our wrappers and headed back to the couch

“Matt sit by me?” Y/N asked me patting the empty spot next to her

“Okay” I blurted out nervously

I sat down next to her, stiff like a board might I add. Not really letting my body touch hers as my breathing began to quicken in my chest.

Everything about this situation was making me so fucking nervous. How she mindlessly situated herself, often brushing her leg or hand against me and offering soft “sorries” to which I replied with a shake to my head.

We began the movie and it was actually very interesting. Keeping my eyes locked in the whole time, and scratching my head at the plot.

However I kept noticing Y/N glancing over at me. Making me swallow thickly as anxiety crept up the back of my neck.

She wasn’t even doing anything and my body was reacting. My leg started to shake and I mindlessly started to bite the inside of my lip.

“Hey you okay?” Y/N leaned over and whispered in my ear

“Yeah yeah I’m okay” I replied quickly glancing at her

“You seem a bit on edge today” she said back

“What? Me? No” I replied a bit confused

“Well okay” she said sitting back against the couch

What the fuck was I doing? The anxiety is becoming too much. I decided to stand up and head outside for a breeze and to clear my mind.

Nick had watched Matt walk outside, furrowing his brows and looking over at Y/N who’s eyes had followed where Matt was going.

A smile grew on nicks face and he began to speak

“I think you should see what’s wrong with him” Nick said to Y/N

“He seemed a bit on edge I don’t want to make him mad” she replied looking over at the boy

“No he’s just got some things on his mind I think you talking to him would be better than one of us” he replied to her

She nodded her head and offered him a small smile.

She got up and headed outside

Matt’s POV

I sat on a lawn chair looking at the trees moving in the breeze. My thoughts interrupted when I heard the creak of the back door

“Matt?” I heard from behind me

“Yeah?” I replied looking over my shoulder

“What’s wrong? You seem off” she said sitting next to me

“Nothings wrong I promise” I replied smiling at her

“You’re lying” she said staring blankly at me

“Okay fine….just a bit of anxiety is all” I replied

“That was the half truth…what’s really going on” she said rolling her eyes at me

“You wouldn’t get it” I replied looking back at the trees

“Matt, come on. We tell each other everything” she says groaning

“But this I want to keep to myself” I said rubbing my eyes

“But if it’s making you anxious you should just say it” she said back to me

“I don’t know how to say it” I said turning and looking at her

“Oh sure you do come on” she said egging me on

“It’s just I am so madly in love with you, and I have been for a while. And I don’t know that you feel the same way and I can’t risk losing a friendship over this. But everytime I see you it’s like my body is on fire and my chest aches for you. Everything about you is gorgeous and amazing and I can’t help myself from falling more and more each day” I blurted out

“Matt….I….I like you so much. And I thought the lingering touches and the glances would give you an idea. But I figured I was creeping you out” she said laughing a bit

“No. You were making me nervous” I replied laughing too

Without a second thought Y/N pressed her lips to mine, and at first it took me by surprise. But then my right hand laid on her cheek as I pressed my lips against hers.

This kiss was better than I could have ever imagined. It was like we were made for each other. Her soft lips made my skin melt as the stars aligned above us.

I pulled away and looked at her before smiling at her

“Can I….can I be your boyfriend?” I asked smiling at her

“Yes Matt! 100 times yes” she replied before crashing her lips to mine again

A beautiful kiss under the clear night sky…just like a movie<3

The End

HIIIIII hope yall enjoyed this one🥹🖤🖤 I got many more requests to pump out, so stay tuned! Love yall dearly 🤭🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[mykoreanlove]

Single

“Hyunjin, please. I beg you. I need you!“, you whined dramatically.

The object of your desire was standing in front of you, painting peacefully in his well lit atelier.

„Y/N, I told you already I’m not the right one for you.“

He muttered his rejection so easily, the words were rolling of his tongue without a single care. Watching him paint was one of your favourite pastimes: the concentrated look in his eyes paired with his vulnerable aura made him so attractive, so brilliantly talented. This is why you got down on your knees and begged for your life - if your exhibition had to be a success you couldn’t do it without him.

„Hwang Hyunjin, Artist of artists, please. Please, please, please.“, you begged shamelessly.

Finally, Hyunjin averted his gaze from the canvas on to you.

„Begging on your knees. Really, y/n?“

„You leave me no chance. What else am I supposed to do?“, you snapped.

He let out a deep sigh and mustered you intensely.

„Listen, your exhibition is all about love. Crazy, stupid, romantic, can’t live without you kind of love. I can’t draw that. That’s just not who I am.“, he explained flatly.

„You are the most romantic person I know, Hyunjin. You breathe love. How can you not be the right fit for me?“

He shrugged his shoulders. „I may be breathing love but love is suffocating me.“

„Aren’t you dating anyone?“

„Haven’t been for a very long time.“

„Why not?“

„Because love is not for me. I’ve seen this over and over again.“, he replied drily.

Confusion settled on your face - someone as attractive, as charming and as talented as Hyunjin was bad at love?

„Oh, I get it. You’re fucking with me, right?“, you snorted out laughing. „Good one but now is not the time for jokes, Hwang. Paint me a fucking masterpiece, please!“

Now he was the one looking at you puzzled.

„I wasn’t joking. Love is not for me, y/n.“, he said sternly.

„How can that be? You are drop dead gorgeous - how could someone possibly dump you?“, you asked in confusion.

„I’m sorry but I can’t date you anymore.“

„Why?“

„It’s just.. you’re just too pretty for me.“

„I, what?“

„I’m sorry but I can’t live like that. I’m constantly anxious because I’m afraid some girl will steal you from me. Next to you I look like a sack of potatoes and I just feel so bad. I don’t.. I don’t want to feel like that. Sorry, Hyunjin.“

„Shit, did that really happen? I had no idea people like you had it rough, as well.“, you blurted out.

„What? You think life gives you a free pass because of some pretty features?“

„I mean it normally does.“, you mumbled under your breath.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes at you, annoyed by the false perception of others which he was used to.

„Okay, but surely not all girls were like that? What about your charisma? You’re so charming, girls love that!“

„This doesn’t work, Hyunjin.“

„Why not?“

„You treat me too well. What’s up with the date nights and flowers? You always listen and remember the smallest things about me. You encourage me and stand by my side and that’s not normal.

„You don’t consider that normal?“

„No! All my friends hate me because I’m living this fairytale romance and I can’t risk losing them because you’re not a dickhead like all the others.“

„Okay, now you’re just making shit up.“, you gazed astonished.

„Do I y/n? Do I?“

„Hold up - you’re telling me you got dumped multiple times because you were too handsome and too nice? Where do you even find those girls?“

Hyunjin shrugged his shoulders, he had often asked himself the same thing.

„Wow okay. I had no idea you were such a loser in the love department…“, you muttered under your breath.

Hyunjin grabbed the brush and continued painting.

„Hey wait, what about your talent? Are you telling me ladies don’t want that?“, you jumped excitedly.

„There was only one.“, he said sternly.

„One? Like the one? Like your first love or something?“

He nodded.

„So that’s it! Paint about your first love, then!“

Hyunjin stopped painting for a minute as he recalled his first love, the one he lost his innocence to.

You noticed the change in his demeanour, further pushing him to spill the tea.

„What was she like?“

He took another deep breath before he recalled those times.

„She was a visionary. Brilliant, smart, sexy. Someone who knew what she wanted. She saw the world as her canvas and herself as the brush, painting the wildest masterpieces with her whole being.“

„She sounds lovely.“, you replied.

„Yeah..“, the sadness in his voice was heavy.

„Until she wasn’t.“

„What does that mean?“

„She was in a rut when her and I got together. Not only stuck in her life but also her art. Although, those things might have merged into one. So, when she met me she kind of used me to fuel herself. To regain that spark for life, so to say. And when she had it back, she no longer needed me.“

„That sounds tough. Sorry, Hyunjin.“, you answered truthfully.

„It was tough. I had to keep seeing her every day at school.“

„Couldn’t you have switched classes?“

Hyunjin grabbed the brush again and continued painting, his gaze was set on the canvas.

„What good does switching do if she was the ambassador of art?“

Goosebumps formed on your skin as you realised what he was implying.

„Hyunjin… the one you are talking about… was that your art teacher?“

He halted for a second, not averting his gaze though.

„Oh Hyun, I am so sorry.“, you said with teary eyes. Hyunjin found himself in your strong embrace, as you slung your arms around his waist.

„You were a minor, a child…“, you cried out loud.

A sly grin formed on his lips. He was touched by your concern - concern from others was something he hadn’t felt for a very long time.

„Y/N, I didn’t tell you all of this so you would feel sorry for me. I simply wanted you to understand why I’m not the right fit for your exhibition.“

„I’m sorry I ignored you, Hyunjin. Sorry.“, you cried into his back.

Inspired by your tears he suddenly had a different idea in mind.

„But what if…“, he turned around and faced you again. „What if I give it a different spin?“

„Different spin?“, you asked as you wiped away your tears.

„What if instead of painting a love that’s common and known I’ll paint a love that’s pure even though it’s shamed?“, he proposed excitedly.

„I have no idea what you’re talking about, Hyun…“

A soft chuckle escaped his lips.

„What if the purest and strongest love one can have is with oneself? Because ever since I swore off love I lived like that. I love me. Can’t that count as well?“

Being his friend was one of the greatest joys of your life because he always managed to evolve your way of thinking, of seeing things differently.

„I didn’t even think about that…“, you admitted ashamed.

„So? Is that a yes?“

You nodded your head cheerily.

„Yes. I‘d love to incorporate your spin. I’d be honored to, Hwang.“

A sad smile formed on his lips as he proceeded painting. Even if this kind of love wasn’t the one that was written in the books, it was the one kind of love that always kept him warm even in the coldest of nights.

[keefwho]

July 16 - 2023 Sunday

9:40 AM

I’m having the thought that today won’t be a good day. I have this thought every weekend but I accept it as truth. I forget that it’s an assumption of what today COULD be, not something that is bound to happen. I have lots of thoughts like that and I’m trying to make it a habit to put them into concise words and recognize them as only that. They may or may not be true so I shouldn’t assume they are. 

There are things I need to talk about but only when I know I’m evaluated myself better. It sucks because it’s always on my mind and I’m afraid of the answer. Im also afraid I’m not acting from a genuine place but thats why I want to give myself time. I know my heart will let me know what it needs, and that I’ll have to listen to it and accept it. 

12:04 PM

I have so much going on in my head and all I feel like I ever need to do it talk about it but it’s not a good thing to let anyone listen to ALL of it day by day. I do wish I had that person though, someone I could a lot of time with. I feel in my heart thats what I need. Of course I am aware of being too involved or dependent but all I want is more time to interact with and explore each other. I don’t want to think that’s too much to expect from someone because that is what I give. I am extremely devoted and I know it hurts me when I don’t get back what I put in. It shouldn’t but it down. I know this is something I have to figure out inside of myself. I have to balance knowing and working for what I need, and controlling myself when I’m going too far or putting myself in something harmful. 

2:12 PM

I’m losing focus, I can’t forget my main goal right now is just to get perspective on myself. Who am I, where have I been, what have I done, and so on. Im just trying to get a grip on who I am again. That should provide me with the direction I need to go forward. 

My biggest fear is not being able to relate or connect to people. I used to be able to I think, but as friend after friend exited my life, I felt a diminishing capacity to let people in. Even my closest friends I feel myself being shut off towards. I’m trying to cling onto it because I don’t want to shut everyone out. I don’t know whats causing me to keep getting worse. Maybe its been my inability to trust. Even when someone I love tells me they are there for me, as much as I want to believe it, sometimes I can’t. I have all the love I need if only I could accept it.

Watching the Amphibia finale taught me that I am deathly afraid of change and always have been. It makes sense. My family was torn apart at age 5. I went through things at that age that I don’t even remember. I moved house after house, left school after school and friend after friend. All I ever wanted was stability. Then when I got it I didn’t know what to do with it other than cling on. I never wanted anything to change. But they do and they have. I’ve been coping by doing the same thing I have been since high school. Staying on the computer, drawing, and trying to make friends online. Those were cozy times I never wanted to let go. I’ve been living only trying to cling on to what I had and in the process all I do is lose things because I haven’t been able to accept new things. I lack the ability to accept loss and adapt. I live in the past.  

I cry almost every day now. I feel like I’m going crazy.

I’m having the thought that nothing I do matters.

I’m having the thought that I am a lost cause. 

I’m having the thought that I will end up alone. 

I’m having the thought that I am not good enough to improve. 

2:39 PM

I’m REALLY trying to accept that I am not cared about like I want to be. It’s for a good reason, look at me. I get it. But it still hurts. It hurts so much. I’m trying to pry myself off. 

Im having the thought that I’m fucking stupid for thinking I could ever find what I’m looking for. I’m 27 and more alone than I’ve ever been. All because I completely lost who I am and have nothing to offer anyone. I’m a shell.

2:55 PM

I keep doing the same fucking thing over and over and over. I know I am. I know I am being harmful. Maybe the best action I can take is inaction, at least for awhile. I just want to stop messing everything up because of my feelings. 

Im having the thought that no one would miss me if I was the guy that was last online 7 years ago. 

Im having the thought that my whole life is meant to be a tragedy. 

5:55 PM

My self opinion is lower than ever. I’m having the thoughts that my life is falling apart and that I won’t be able to recover. Im afraid to lose Daisy. She’s become such a wonderful person in my life. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to rekindle old friendships. I’m afraid I won’t be able to make new ones. I feel like I’m near the end. I want to recover. 

6:14 PM

I don’t even know how to escape. I have nothing to distract me. Nothing that satisfies me.

7:28 PM

I was distressed enough to call a hotline. I didn’t expect too much but the lady really helped me out. I got a lot out about what’s been bothering me and leading up to this point. I got a little perspective on myself that I need. In general I got a clearer head and I very much appreciate her time. Helen I think her name was. Bless her. She also knew what VRchat was which was funny but no surprising. 

[godshivered-archive]

Ditto

Warmth. Warm circles, warm hands, warm blood. Sweaty, humid warmth. Sweaty socks. Ick.

“-stupid fucking- why’s this shit so expensive when it doesn’t w-“

Ow. Ow. Fuck’s sake, Nadine.

“Agh- stay still, love…”

Hm. That’s a new one.

It’s all kaleidoscope, when she manages the eye-opening bit. Sun’s setting and spotting her vision, but what’s she need her retinas for, anyway? Fat lot of good her eyes did today.

They’re making it up to her now, though. They brought Nadine into view.

She’s a whole shade brighter with sweat, hair slicked down to her neck; her brow’s in a frightening furrow. She’s got a near perfect handprint of blood on her cheek. Probably Chloe’s blood, now she thinks on it.

That’s right. She’s bleeding out at the moment.

And Nadine hasn’t made her yet, so she licks her bone-dry lips. “Don’t…”

The little gasp in Nadine’s throat could break Chloe’s heart; Nadine’s eyes go round against hers.

“Chloe, fuck’s-“ she coughs, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, “-sake, I thought- what? Don’t what?”

Calloused fingers push Chloe’s bangs aside, hands rough but melting affectionate with time. Her skin rises in goosebumps.

She’s actually getting cold. Weird, that.

“Chloe?”

“Don’t,” Chloe manages, swallowing, “call it a comeback.”

Nadine blinks.

Then scowls, and flicks Chloe’s forehead.

“Ow.” Chloe feigns a wounded tone. “Thought you’d be a bit happier to see me.”

“Over the moon,” Nadine mutters without looking up. “Cunt.”

Wow. Chloe would put a hand to her chest if she had the strength to move.

“Excuse me. Are you angry with me?”

Nadine snorts, not an answer. Chloe furrows.

“For getting shot?”

“I’m something with you.” Nadine barely glances up, hands busy. “Don’t give me enough time to figure it out, yeah?”

“I almost died. You could be kinder to me.”

“I almost lost you; you could…”

Lightbulb — soft tucking of hoarse voice under tight throat. Then Chloe sees it, hiding behind her clenched jaw.

Nadine seems content not to speak any further, but that’s never been enough for Chloe. Especially not now.

“You’re in love with me,” Chloe huffs, out of breath, “aren’t you?”

“Just shut up and let me look at you.”

“Don’t be embarrassed.”

“Annoyed is closer to the mark.”

“I wouldn’t poke fun.”

“Oh, you would absolutely- would you sit still?”

“So that’s a yes, then?” Chloe actually draws eye contact with that. “Because you’re afraid. Of the poking.”

“I’m not afraid of anything.” Nadine reorients her focus down below. “‘cept you dying in this place.”

“Then say it.”

“Arm up.”

“If you say it.”

“I said arm up.”

“Sheesh, fine. Jesus. Bit too close to home?”

“I thought I’d lost you.”

“You’re not gonna lose me. Been through much worse, the both of us. They broke my knees in Trinidad, you know.”

She winces. “Don’t tell me that.”

“Pulled a couple teeth somewhere in Egypt. Made enough there to have them replaced — no one’s the wiser.”

“Keep still-“

“I am. You’re the one shaking-“

“Please,” Nadine’s voice wavers, grinds as she clears her throat. “Please, just…”

“Hey. I’m okay. Take a breath.”

“You can’t do this shit to me. It hurts.”

“The stories?”

“The fucking- everything, Chloe, just. If you know I’m in love with you, then act like it.”

Silence. A long silence. Chloe calculates, studies Nadine’s lost gaze.

“Ditto.”

Nadine’s head snaps up. “Ditto? That’s what you’ve got?”

“What?”

“After all that finessing-“

A kiss shuts her up, if only for a moment. Chloe wins the day.

Drawing back, she grins up at Nadine. “I am.”

“Say it.”

“Arm up!”

If she weren’t actively dying, Nadine would smack her arm back down.

[thebiggestfan1]

Are you in town? - Matthew Tkachuk (part 3)

part one here

part two here

This is the last part of this mini-series and I hope you enjoyed it! Requests are open btw, so don’t be afraid to ask for an imagine with any NHL player :))

Word count: 1464 words

TW: mentions of sex, language

...

The thing that woke you up was the bright light shining through the windows.

Shit. What time was it? You probably should have been already working - for hours.

As you looked around yourself, you started realizing this wasn’t your apartment. Everything here looked so blank and expensive and then you remembered that-

That you kisssed Matthew while he was drunk. That you fucked Matthew while he was drunk.

You groaned silently, still too sleepy to actually cry. What had you done?

You thought you were okay with staying just friends. But here I am, you thought to yourself as you climbed out of the bed.

Your body felt sore and relaxed at the same time. It was a long time since you slept with someone and actually enjoyed it like this. And even though you should be ashamed of yourself, you let yourself enjoy that feeling.

Just then you realized that the other side of Matt’s huge bed was already empty and cold. There was no sign of him in the living room or in the kitchen - he probably left a long time ago, maybe already preparing for his upcoming game.

But the smell of him lingered on the sheets like a distant memory, bringing back the thoughts of yesterday's events. His hot skin touching yours, his warm breath caressing your breasts...

Shit.

Just... shit.

And so you put on your yesterday’s clothes, write a quick note for Matt and leave his apartment without looking back.

...

It’s been two weeks since you woke up at Matthew’s apartment. Since then, you ignored his calls and texts, pretended you weren’t home when he knocked on your door and worked overtime when he waited for you at the reception.

Yes - it’s not ideal but it worked for 14 whole days. And it gave you some time to think.

As you were leaving your office, thinking only about going to bed, you realized you didn’t check if Matt was waiting for you - but too late. A hand gripped lightly your elbow, making you halt in your tracks.

“Y/N, why the fuck are you avoiding me?”

He sounded a bit angry but mostly tired and hurt. He looked tired, too - those were dark circles under his beautiful eyes.

And you just stood there, trying to come up with a good enough excuse.

Because we fucked, Matthew, you wanted to say. Because I love you and I’m afraid you’re gonna break my heart. Because I don’t want to lose you or our friendship. But wouldn’t avoiding him for a few more weeks destroy your friendship as well?

“You can’t- you can’t just leave, Y/N. What happened happened and if you want to, we can ignore it but you can’t just keep walking around it. You can’t just leave like I did all those years ago. And I’m so so sorry I did so and it’s totally my fault if you feel like I might do that again but you have to trust me that I have no reason to do so.”

Matthew looked... scared. Was it because he was afraid you’d leave him behind? Afraid of tasting his own medicine?

You still didn’t know what to say. You wanted to believe all he was saying but the memory of you crying when he abandoned you was still playing in your head. He did so just because of some stupid promise he told nobody about. What’s stopping him from doing so again?

“I panicked when I came back home that morning - I went shopping because I had no food at the apartment and I wanted to make you a perfect breakfast. And when I came back, you were gone and all you left behind was a note with only one word on it - goodbye. So yeah, I panicked. Of course I panicked. And I know I’m the reason you did it but I have no idea how to make things right. I don’t know how to make you trust me like you once did...” Matthew tugged at his curls, his hair all messy. He let out a sigh, trying to avoid your searching gaze.

"Matt-" you stopped your arm from touching his hair even though you wanted to comfort him so badly. It'd be so easy to let yourself trust him. Too easy; and that scared you more than anything. "I need time. Just- just take me out for dinner or something. We'll take things slowly and then we'll see how that turns out."

He looked at you as you spoke, watching the shape of your lips while nodding slowly. A small smile formed on Matt's lips and he tucked a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. Your cheeks went red a bit as you realized he'd do whatever you needed and won't ever ask for more than you're prepared to give him. The night two weeks ago wasn't your fault; it was yours. Matthew was drunk and never forced you to do what you did. It was you who ruined things.

"Do you have time right now?"

"Yeah, I guess." you answered, smiling up at him.

"Then I'll take you out for dinner."

Hand in hand, you realized it'd be so easy to get used to the feeling of butterflies in your stomach.

...

A month later, Matt took you to a lunch with his family. It was a long time since you've seen any of his siblings so you were super excited - but also super nervous.

You two took things really slow. Matt took you out every day if he had the time and hasn't even kissed you once. Sometimes, you wanted him to do so. Sometimes, it was the only thing you could think of.

The nostalgia hit you as soon as you saw Chesterfield again. You closed your eyes, already knowing where would the car turn on the road. You kind of missed this city - it reminded you of your childhood and of Matthew.

He was sitting next to you, driving the car, one hand on the steering wheel and the second on your thigh, drawing cirles on your jeans.

"Do they remember me?" you asked, your eyes still closed.

"Of course they remember you," Matt murmured and sang a few lines of the song playing on the radio - your song, one from the playlist on the USB that was hidden for years in the time capsule.

After Matt got drafted, you stopped talking to his family. You were mad at all of them even though it was a stupid thing to do. But now as an adult, things would be different. Yeah, you probably could be mad at Matt's dad for all the things Matt wrote you in that letter but... He only wanted his son to be happy - you'd probably do the same.

So, when the car stopped, you got out and greeted his family as nicely as you could. It took you some time to recognise Taryn as she hugged you, because last time you saw her, she was just a kid. And now... She and Brady were both adults.

"Nice to meet you again, Y/N," said their mom, Chantal as you shoot hands. Her husband smiled at you from the table where all of them were already seated and Matthew wrapped one arm around your waist as he pushed back the chair for you.

Everyone talked, laughed and enjoyed the autumn day with bright smiles on their faces. None of them seemed to mind your presence and you felt like a part of this happy family.

Halfway through the lunch, Matt pushed his chair closer to you as he whispered into your ear:

"What are you thinking about?"

You looked at him, at his bright eyes and eased smile. At the way he touched your hand and tucked your hair behind your ear. And you realized how much he cared for you and that there was nothing that could keep you two apart this time.

No more tiptoeing. No more 'taking things slow'.

"I'm thinking about how I trust you more than I trusted anyone in my life. I'm thinking about how I love you more than I loved anyone in my life."

His smile was the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. It was full of love and care and you didn't realized you were crying until Matt wiped the tears off your cheeks.

"You want to know what I'm thinking about?"

You simply nodded.

"I'm thinking about our future and about how happy you make me, Y/N. I'm thinking about how lucky I am that I can call you mine. I love you so much, Y/N." he whispered, taking one of your hand in his and intertwining your fingers.

"I love you too, Matt. And I promise I will never say goodbye to you."

[samuraiko]

A *lot* of late-night thoughts about C3E32... <SPOILERS AHOY>

You have been warned.

Like seriously.

As in I don’t want to hear any complaining that you didn’t know spoilers for tonight’s episode were coming.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS UP WITH THAT QUIP AD BIT OF SAM’S?! Oh my fucking gods. And Liam, how the HELLS did you pass up the opportunity to snark about knowing EXACTLY how much Sam can fit in his mouth and/or his gag reflex? REALLY?! I am so disappointed in you -- that wasn’t just a softball pitch, that was practically Mage Hand-ing it in slow balletic style right into your strike zone.

---

I’m still not entirely convinced that Fearne’s not actually a sociopath. There’s stirring up shit just because occasionally it’s entertaining, and especially if it only blows back on YOU... and then there’s the shit that she’s doing (like putting two Gnarlrocks near Imogen and Laudna when just ONE caused all sorts of fuckery and problems, or trying to “but this shouldn’t apply to me” when Orym is warning all of them about their potential ‘kind of awful’, or telling Imogen to hurt Ollie if it meant getting answers).

Like fucking REALLY, Fearne? You’re going to steal a TOP PRIORITY CRATE FROM THE CERBERUS ASSEMBLY AND THE PARAGON’S CALL RIGHT IN FUCKING FRONT OF THEM?! I was almost hoping she’d be that stupid JUST to watch her draw the Call’s ire, and then (hopefully) have the Hells just sit back and go, “you brought this on yourself, YOU get yourself out of it.”

Which is why I’m REALLY wondering if Ashley is potentially setting up Fearne based on the alternate DARK version of her from ExU (a la what nearly happened to Caleb in Campaign 2) to maybe become one of the BBEGs of Campaign 3.

(I know there are a lot of folks who love Fearne - more power to you... me, the more I know about this character, the less I like her. But it’s a big fandom. You do you, I’ll do me, we’ll both be cool. And I have *NO* problem whatsoever with Ashley -- I enjoy her as a player, I liked her a lot as Pike, and I fucking ADORED her as Yasha.)

---

And on that note, for FUCK’S SAKE, Chetney, it’s clear that FCG is AFRAID of his darker self. Quit ENCOURAGING that side of him to come out until he’s more accepting and comfortable with it, given how much that side of him has COST him already. Leave him the fuck alone. (That said, I’m REALLY hoping we get a case of Chetney losing control and REALLY hurting someone he cares about, and who’s a lot less likely to forgive him than Orym was. Like if he wolfs out and hurts Imogen or Laudna, the other one is going to utterly wreck his shit. And seeing Chet shoved facefirst into a painful situation he can’t just bribe or sneak his way out of has a lot of potential.)

Related to that - Imogen and Chet have this undertone of vitriol going on that I find kinda fascinating in a weird way. It’s not like the whole belligerent sexual tension that Chet and Fearne kinda have going, and it’s not like his hazing of Dorian before the two of them became thick as thieves. I think Chet’s gonna snap at some point and go after Imogen, probably because she’ll have done something to poke the badger one too many times.

---

I really liked seeing the FCG/Imahara Joe dynamic on this one, and also I was a REALLY big fan of the FCG/Dancer meeting. It’s just so NICE to see Sam stop clowning around for once and just bring simple, earnest honesty to a scene, and come back to what I really see as the core of FCG’s character (as in personality, not as in the D&D gaming construct). That may have been one of my favorite moments of his yet in this campaign.

---

And then there was that absolutely glorious trainwreck of a conversation between Ashton and Laudna. I don’t quite know if I full-fledged ship those two, but Team Tombstone is rife with so much bittersweet HEART to it. And for me, I just love watching Marisha and Taliesin act off one another. Not that I think Imogen and Laudna together is a bad thing, I think they make a great couple in their own sort of weirdass way, but just seeing the two walking disasters with each other is a beautiful thing.

(Someone PLEASE do fanart of Laudna and Ashton screaming an intimate conversation with each other in the middle of a dust storm.)

I don’t know, maybe Imogen wouldn’t mind them being a polycule. Especially since she knows that Ashton really does seem to have Laudna’s well-being at heart, and he’s certainly capable of protecting her in a way that Imogen herself can’t.

We’ll see how that all comes together.

---

And then there’s Orym. Everyone already knows I love this character and I love Liam, and if anyone ever hurts my favorite cinnamon roll halfling fighter, I will rain down such wrathful vengeance upon them that their nightmarish fate will only be spoken of in hushed and terrified whispers for a thousand years.

(Side note - I want to smack Laura every time she derails Liam with some wiseass remark when he’s trying to be serious. I know those two love each other like brother and sister, but try to give him the same respect he gives you when YOU’RE having a big serious RP moment, Laura. It’s just a quirk that drives me nuts.)

I really hope we get to circle back around to his storyline soon. But no big shock there, considering my aforementioned love of Orym and Liam.

---

Personally, I think Artana Voe is in Bassuras to tie up a loose end in Treshi... though who hired her is open to debate. So the question is gonna be, do the Hells try to keep Treshi alive, or do they let her kinda/sorta solve the problem for them while they go off after more important things? Though I think it’d be fun to see her and Orym go head to head.

[waifu-13]

okay- I’m back again😩‼️

anyways I had an idea including 17a and 26a where Uta and the reading are chilling out or something- and he’s just like lightly grazing his teeth on the readers wrist n shi? but then he accidentally like bites to hard and draws blood- n like temporarily loses control a lil?

KIND GESTURES.. 

A/n - i hope you like it :)  i took my own twist to your idea 

tw - mentions of blood

Your boyfriend Uta had always been a classic romantic. You didn't know if it was because he’s an artist or cause he's a ghoul, all you know is you loved it. So — one night after he was taking a break from the lastest mask — Uta walks over to where you were sitting, he picks up your hand placing a kiss on it but he forgot he was holding one of his tools till the smell of human blood is fresh in the shop. You look at him worried and he gives you an apologetic smile while placeing the tool down.

“My muse, I'm sorry. Here let me help you.” He grabs a napkin before wiping the blood. He gives the injured spot a kiss, he thought he'd be able to control himself but it was getting hard, he wipes the area. You look at your now visibly nervous boyfriend, you ask him what's wrong but he shrugs it off walking back to his workroom...that's odd you thought. Did he really stop work just to kiss you? Sweet but not like him once he's in the creative mood. Oh fuck was it your blood? You couldn't walk out you’d be In serious danger, but staying here could trigger Uta more. Your boyfriend knew you weren't a stupid person so when he peeked out cause he wanted to see if he was okay enough to grab the tool he so carelessly left behind. He notices your visibly worried face... Sigh this was bound to happen one day but he had enough control now. He can tell the cut stopped bleeding so he slowly walks back to you grabbing your other hand giving it a soft kiss.

“It's okay, don't be afraid. I'd never hurt you, my love~” 

One kind gesture can change a mood. 

[egcdeath]

checkmate

summary: you’ve always refused to lose, and love was no exception. (gone girl-ish au)

pairing(s): ransom drysdale x dark!reader, a special mystery guest ;) 

word count: 3.7k

warnings: 18+ because of heavy themes! faked death, framing of crimes, manipulation, alluding to sex, alluding to cheating, terrible relationship dynamic, very loose usage of the word crazy/psychotic, implied mention of self harm, brief choking & slapping (in a non sexual way lol), pregnancy trapping (idk if thats the right term), the reader is a very bad human being, overuse of italics  *please let me know if i’m missing any warnings!

author’s note: this is my 2nd submission for @stargazingfangirl18’s 5k soft dark challenge, i decided to make the reader dark >:) but ransom is also not a good person. I used these prompts: “I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.” & The town golden *girl isn’t as sweet as everyone thinks.

this is definitely the most unhinged thing i’ve ever written, but blame @literate-lamb for making me write this because when i pitched this to her and said that i’d probably never write it, she enabled me. 

okay that's enough from me. join my taglist if you want :D

“I know women whose entire personas are woven from a benign mediocrity. Their lives are a list of shortcomings: the unappreciative boyfriend, the extra ten pounds, the dismissive boss, the conniving sister, the straying husband. I've always hovered above their stories, nodding in sympathy and thinking how foolish they are, these women, to let these things happen, how undisciplined. And now to be one of them! One of the women with the endless stories that make people nod sympathetically and think: Poor dumb bitch.” Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

Your whole life, you’d considered yourself a competitive person. Constantly overcompensating for one thing or another, whether it was the chronic desire to achieve perfection that had been installed in you since you were a little girl, or your persistent internalized sense of inadequacy. You realized early on that it was much better for you to win than for you to lose, no matter the physical, emotional, or mental cost of the prize of perfection.

For the most part, this mindset worked out for you. You graduated as Valedictorian from your high school, neared the top of your graduating class at Harvard. God knew you earned it, all those tears you shed into overpriced textbooks, all the popping of unprescribed Adderall, and robbing yourself of the parties and social events that the rest of your peers gladly indulged in. 

You were just different, which was why you gained a job nearly immediately after your exit from school, quickly climbing to the top at the Blood Like Wine publishing company after only a few years of being there. 

And one night, at the party celebrating the release of A Thousand Knives when you laid your eyes on Hugh Ransom Drysdale, the grandson of your boss, you knew that you needed to have him. Rich, hot, a bit of an asshole. You deserved to finally complete your image, and that socialite flavored eye candy seemed to fit the part perfectly. Luckily for you, he was desperate. It only took a few tugs on your dress’ V-line, and a number of knowing smirks to find yourself being finger-banged in his family manor’s bathroom.

From there, you wormed your way into his life. Leaving belongings at his place as an excuse to come back, and offering booty calls in the middle of the night. Ransom must’ve been much more desperate than you originally thought, as it really only seemed to take one night of stroking his hair while he vented about his family to make him want to be with you. Men with mommy issues were always so easy. 

Except, he wasn’t that easy. The longer you got to know Ransom, the more fucked up you realized he really was. He had no boundaries at all, became jealous and enraged at the drop of a pin, and occasionally told you things that made the hairs on your arms rise. 

This of course all came to a head after the night of Harlan’s 85th birthday party. When the news broke of his tragic death, you’d immediately known it was the works of your Hugh. If your intuition wasn’t enough, his confession in the shower, where he’d demanded you take off your clothes to display that you were without a bug, certainly was. 

You were completely devastated. The man that you’d invested so much into for years had thrown both his and your reputations down the drain in just a matter of hours. Of course, you felt bad for Harlan too. He was a good guy (when he wasn’t instigating a family fight).

Still, you showed up during the funeral in your best mourning clothes and dawning your biggest crocodile tears. You rubbed Linda’s back while she mourned the loss of her father, and the new truth about her husband. You played dumb when interrogated by some Southern private investigator, even giving Ransom an airtight alibi. You testified on his behalf in court with enough conviction to grant you an Emmy. 

You’d gotten so far, devoted so much energy into him, that you simply refused to lose now. 

To your friends, you’d seemed to lead a near perfect life. Dream job, dreamy boyfriend, dream bank account, but it wasn’t enough. You wanted more, you just didn’t know what. 

It dawned on you while sipping mimosas at the country club, Ransom playing tennis with his friends just a few yards away from you while Danielle showed off her brand new engagement ring, a .59 Carat Asscher Diamond, that if you heard her speak of again, would probably make you lose your shit.

You zoned out as she droned on and on about the shape, and how Matt proposed to her in their own private room in one of the most exclusive Parisian restaurants, instead focusing on how you could find yourself in the same position as that airhead next to you. In all honesty, you couldn’t stand the idea that someone was doing better than you, let alone someone in your own social circle. Dani got all the bragging rights of being engaged to the heir of some tech giant, being the first in your friend group to get eloped, and worst of all, Matt wasn’t even making her sign a prenup. 

You blankly watched Ransom from afar, taking occasional sips from your sweet drink, while you thought of how you deserved all of that and more, and you were going to get it one way or another. 

——

It didn’t take much to come up with something, your first and most obvious plan being to simply ask Ransom when he was going to propose to you. Of course, this wasn’t the first time you’d tried to approach him about this subject, you just wondered if maybe this time things would be different.

Panting heavily after a rather rough night in bed, you rolled off of your boyfriend’s chest and gave him a messy, yet sincere kiss. You knew your man well, and if there was any time to pop the question, it was in his post-nut haze.

“Baby,” you said breathily, “I wanna ask you something.”

“Shoot,” he responded casually, glancing over at you. 

“When’re you gonna propose to me?” you hummed.

Ransom groaned and shook his head, rolling his eyes, “this is about Matt and Dani, huh?” he tutted, then extended a hand out to your warm cheeks so he could gently caress one with his thumb. “Thought we agreed marriage is just a piece of paper and it’s stupid.”

You huffed in response.

Of fucking course.

“I never said that,” you muttered, setting a hand on his broad chest. “Besides, it’ll be good if you get pissed and decide to like, kill your dad or something. Y’know, spouses don’t have to testify against each other in court.”

Ransom chuckled as if this whole thing was funny, like your feelings were some kind of sick joke to him. “You know my lawyers, babe. They could prove that bees don’t make honey. That bears don’t shit in the forest. I appreciate your attempt, though. This has been some really nice pillow talk.” 

“Whatever,” you muttered, pinching his nipple in retaliation before turning your back to him and yanking the blanket onto your side. 

You weren’t sure why you were so surprised that he was being stubborn, most of the time you felt like you were pulling teeth from the man. But that’s why you had a backup plan! You always had a backup plan. That’s what separated you from your boyfriend. Where Ransom was extemporized and impulsive, you were calculating and prudent. 

Although you devised your plan that very afternoon while watching your partner backhand small green balls, you were going to need some time to get everything in order, to prove Murphy and his stupid law wrong in making sure that everything that could go wrong wouldn’t. 

After all, love was a game. And you sure as hell weren’t losing to Hugh Drysdale. 

——

You sacrificed too much to have your plans ruined by some trust fund baby with impulsivity issues. You deserved your dream marriage, the stability you wished you had as a child. You wanted the white picket fence, and everything that came along with it. Your desire to be the best, to be perfect was what drove you to poke holes in every condom in the box, what led you to draw liters of your own blood in hopes of staging a fake crime scene, to buy a cheap getaway car and burner phone off of Craigslist, and reach out to a high school boyfriend who you knew was in a position as desperate as you. 

You planted seeds of doubt in your friends throughout the following weeks, feeding them lies about Ransom’s behavior, how you were afraid of telling him that you did in fact see two faint red lines on that damn plastic stick– only half of the statement truly being false–, telling them that he was behaving erratically lately.

It all was going without a hitch. Ransom didn’t seem to notice anything was off, despite your frequent visits to the bathroom and newfound affinity for true crime documentaries. 

You almost felt guilty, knowing the world of pain you were about to throw the man into. Granted, he deserved the pain. You were in a relationship with a genuinely terrible person, and that person had made a conscious effort not to commit to you. You tried to make this easy for him, give him a chance to say a few words to you and slide a ring on your finger, but no, he always seemed to take the hard route.

You slept like a baby the night before you were setting your plan in action. You made sure to uphold the facade of everything being fine, making Ransom a nice breakfast before sending him halfway across town to the hardware store with an oddly incriminating list.

Once he was out of the house, you hurried off to the fridge in the garage where you’d been keeping a small stash of your own blood. It wasn’t pretty, but it had to be done. You poured the blood throughout the kitchen, splattering bits of it on the counters and cupboards. You poorly cleaned the mess, just as he would.

You put your next move in motion, falsifying a home invasion. You tossed over a table and some chairs, throwing books and photos onto the floor, but left some aspects slightly untouched, like an upright picture frame to give yet another hint that things were not exactly what they appeared. 

You left a tiny blue post-it note on the nightstand of Ransom’s side of the bed, a quick and simple doodle of a ring along with the first initial of your name inked onto the tiny piece of paper. 

With that, you were off. Technically missing, soon-to-be presumed dead.

----

 The days following your disappearance had gone even better than you’d initially planned. Local news coverage had been all over you, search and rescue groups were assiduously looking for you, your parents had opened a tip line, and begged for you to get home safe on news segments. But the best part of it all was that Ransom had been briefly found himself in police custody, only to be released shortly thereafter. His past of an accused murder quickly made your disappearance even more of a national story, and you watched the whole thing unravel from the safety and comfort of your high school boyfriend, Andy Barber’s Newton home. 

Of course, you fed him the same lies you’d given to your friends, and seeing the rather lonely position he was in, he gladly let you stay with him. You were absolutely having a hay-day with it all, dedicating hours of your day to watching Ransom slowly unravel. Maybe it was a bit sadistic of you to enjoy torturing your partner so much, but he needed to learn his lesson. You deserved better. You needed Ransom to rise up to your level, allowing you to finally complete your image. To let you two appear to be the perfect couple. Really, this was all on him.

Andy, for the most part, had been a good host. He was gone for the majority of the day, dedicating himself to his work while you lounged around on his dangerously cozy couch. Around two weeks into your stay, you were sharing a box of pizza in the living room with your old lover when something interesting on the television caught your eye.

Ransom, broadcasted on CBS, being interviewed on your disappearance. 

You watched with wide eyes as Ransom begged for your return on national television. It was one thing seeing your mother plead for you to come back, the same woman who had installed such toxic behavior in you sob for your return, but Ransom. You’d never loved him more than in that moment.

“Hugh, if you could tell Y/N one thing, what would it be?” the interviewer asked.

Ransom turned, looking straight at the camera, directly into your soul, “Y/N, I love you so much. More than you’ll ever know. I need you to come back safely, to see you, to hold you again. I’d give anything in the world for that right now,” he looked down, a tear falling down his cheek. “I can’t live without you in my life, I-”

His sentence was cut off by Andy grabbing the remote, and turning off the TV. You turned your head and frowned deeply at him.

“Why’d you do that?” you asked with a bit of a pout.

“I just couldn’t stand listening to him talk about you like he hasn’t treated you like shit for the past few years. C’mon, let’s get ready for bed.”

Your blood boiled. Andy was once a means to an end, but now he was interfering. He was clearly much too selfish to see that you and Ransom were quite obviously soulmates. A match made in hell. 

You followed him to bed regardless, curling up on what had been your side of the bed for the past few days, and staring at the wall until Andy’s breaths moved from a soft and rhythmic pattern to loud snores. God, those snores were obnoxious. 

You slipped out of bed and to his dresser, grabbing two soft ties from the drawer, and daintily tying his wrists to each side of the bedpost.

“What‘re you doing?” he mumbled, instinctively yanking both of his wrists as he awoke.

“I’m going back home,” you whispered.

“You can’t be serious,” Andy huffed, tugging on the restraint attached to the headboard.

You shook your head, “I am.”

“I should’ve known. Why would you do something like this? Do you know how much trouble you’ll be in with the law?”

“Do you know how much trouble you’ll be in when the world finds out that you kidnapped me?” you retorted.

This threat seemed to wake him up right away, “what about this was kidnapping? I gave you a nice home, fed you, I didn’t even make a pass at you. I didn’t do shit to you,” he hissed. “You think I can’t prove that? I’m a lawyer, for god's sake!”

You nearly laughed, “Okay, Andy,” you paused for a moment, “As a lawyer, who do you think everyone’ll believe? Someone who the world was on a wild goose chase for in the last two weeks? Or the man with a family history of violence? Must I remind you that your father and your son have killed people?”

Andy shook his head, face pinched in sorrow at the mention of his deceased son, clearly a low blow. “You’re insane,” he muttered.

“Swear to god that you won’t tell a soul what happened here,” you leaned over him, getting right in his face. “Or I promise, Andrew Barber, I will ruin you. You’ll spend the rest of your life behind bars, or disbarred, or whatever the hell I decide to do with you. So keep your goddamn lips shut.” 

You pulled away and he solemnly nodded, not bothering to put up a fight. You loosened the fabric around his left wrist and walked out of the room. You picked up the keys to Andy’s Audi on your way out, checking the time as you adjusted the driver's seat. 

9:45 PM. Fatherhood really changed the man.

You pushed that thought aside and began your drive home, which turned out to be a surprisingly short trip. When you pulled up in front of your home, you were met with a slew of reporters outside of the house, along with a police car that seemed to be permanently camped there.

As you slowly got out of the car, a gasp, followed by a loud silence fell across the crowd. You limped for dramatic effect up the driveway as cameras followed you, and glanced back at them pathetically. From your peripheral view, you noticed the officers get out of their vehicle.

You finally got to your door, ringing the doorbell and waiting. You blinked harshly a few times, conjuring up the tears you needed to really make a spectacle of the event. After a few minutes, Ransom opened the door, eyes widening as he looked at you. He stepped out, and you wrapped him in as big of a hug as you could manage, genuinely missing his embrace. It was possible that you even let out a few real tears in the moment.

Your emotional embrace was interrupted by the man you recognized as Lieutenant Elliott, the same officer who’d been assigned to Harlan’s case. 

“Ma’am,” he began, only to be shut down by you. 

“Please, just let me be with my boyfriend,” you pleaded, crocodile tears streaming down your face as you spoke with the officer. You still needed time to get your story straight.

“Just give us the night, Lieutenant. We’ll come in first thing tomorrow morning,” Ransom added, furrowing his brows at the officer that he’d come into contact with far too many times. 

He looked to his partner, who shrugged, then to you, “enjoy your night.”

Cameras flashed around you as civilians, journalists, and newscasters alike attempted to catch your attention. You grabbed Ransom’s hand and dramatically pulled him inside, insincerely attempting to hide your face by ducking and covering half of your face with your arm. 

As soon as you were in the privacy of your own home, Ransom threw you against a wall. 

“Why. The fuck. Would you pull a stunt like that,” he hissed through gritted teeth, eyes wild, and a hand around your throat. 

You whimpered as he tightened his grip, rage clearly flowing through his system uncontrollably.

“Do you know what you did to me? You almost had me thrown in fucking jail. Do you understand that?”

You nodded weakly, “Ran,” you whispered, “the baby,” you glanced down at your stomach.

He paused, dropping his grip on your neck and staring at you in awe, “no…” 

You nodded again. 

“How…? You told me you were on the pill… You- you made me use protection…”

“Surprise?” you said weakly. 

“You’re a psychotic bitch.”

“I’m your psychotic bitch. And no child of mine will be born out of wedlock,” you taunted. 

“That’s what this is about?” Ransom laughed manically. “You did this all because I won’t fucking marry you?”

You didn’t even have to respond.

“I should send you to the loony bin right fucking now.”

“What happened to all those things you said to me on TV?”

“You’re fucking delusional. I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can. And you will. I’ve had to put up with you and your stupid little antics for way too long. How do you think I felt when you killed your own grandfather?”

Ransom scoffed, throwing his hands up in exasperation, “you are so fucked up.”

“I’m the fucked up one? You killed your own blood in cold blood! You’re unhinged!” 

“You faked your own death for attention, and got pregnant while doing it! Is that baby even mine?”

“The fuck are you trying to say, Hugh?”

“I asked if it’s even mine.”

“Really. You’re accusing me of cheating on you. That’s rich considering Mia, Layla, and whoever the fuck else. You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m being ridiculous? You couldn’t have a normal adult conversation with me!”

“Are you kidding me? I asked you time after time to marry me and it was always some bullshit excuse!” you wagged a finger in his face as you spoke. “Oh, commitment scares me, oh, marriage is just a piece of paper, oh-“ you mocked his voice in a deeper tone before you were cut off by the sting of his hand against your cheek.

“Can you shut the hell up?” he growled at you as you held your own cheek, before you reached out and slapped him back, “I can’t believe that I’m stuck with such a deranged bitch for the rest of my life.”

“Maybe work on your vows a little, dear. I don’t think that those words are as charming to me as they’d be to the rest of our family and friends.”

“You can’t be serious,” he groaned.

“But I am,” you hummed, rubbing your cheek softly once again. “Look at how fast your life fell apart without me here. How quickly the public turned on you. Imagine how upset they’d be if you left me. I love you, Ran. I really do. You and I are perfect for each other, can’t you see that now?”

Ransom took a step away from you, pacing slowly in front of you. He ran a stressed hand through his hair, and took a long and drawn out breath, clearly at a loss for words.

“So when should we have the wedding? I’ve always wanted a Spring wedding, and I know it’s a little short notice, but I don’t want to be showing too much in my wedding dress,” you grabbed Ransom’s bicep gently, as if you were just having a regular old day with him, as if you hadn’t been choked and slapped moments ago. “But we can make it work. We always make it work, right?”

Your now fiancé stared vacantly at the wall ahead of him, giving you a slow, empty nod of agreement. 

“It’s settled then,” you smirked. “I’ll start looking at venues. You find me a nice ring, okay Honey? One that puts all those other bitches’ rings to shame,” you sighed pleasantly to yourself, “I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.”

You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before hurrying up the stairs and into your bedroom. You heard a distant shriek of  “fuck,” from Ransom, but you truly could not care less. 

You hopped into bed, grabbing your laptop from its charger and promptly opening it. You couldn’t help but to smile at your own reflection on the empty black screen. This wasn’t how you imagined your engagement, but you did the impossible. You tied yourself down to Hugh Ransom Drysdale, he went down kicking in screaming, and you were likely in for a lifetime of cheating and resentment, but you did it nonetheless. 

You finally won.  

[jusananimehoe]

can u write something for feitan finding scars from self harm on his s/o? he enjoys torture and pain and its interesting to think how hed react to something like that one someone he cares about/loves

This turned into 1700 words, fucking hell, I got too carried away, but this subject hits very hard with me, so hopefully I did it justice. I absolutely believe Feitan is capable of caring, even loving, but it’d be a very different kind of love than what most would be used to. 

So, enjoy, hopefully xxx

warnings for blood, blood kinks, self-harm mentions, mentions of general mental health issues. 

Also; feel the need to mention that if any of you are suffering in any way, shape or form, my askbox is always open xxxx

How did I get here? You sighed, sinking further into the empty bathtub, trembling from head to toe as shame threatened to drown you, the horrible, but familiar ball of disgust was swirling wildly in your chest as you eyed the door nervously, praying he wouldn’t find you, like hell. You bit down on your lip as the doorknob turned slowly, you’d locked it, though you’d also known it wouldn’t keep him out, when had anything ever kept him out?

You allowed the smallest of smiles as your mind wandered, to all those months ago when he’d first come over your balcony, on the twenty-fifth floor at your apartment complex, eyes a little wild, hair a little windswept, aura radiating malicious intent. He’d smirked at you like some kind of deviant, eyes raking over your form, taking in the way your legs trembled, barely holding you up, enjoying your fear, perhaps a little too much, but gods, he’d looked so beautiful. Had you fallen in love with him in that very moment? Perhaps, perhaps it had been later, with how patient he had been, how willing to take things at your pace he had been, the space he had given you, it had all been such an experience, especially since you were well aware, he was a complete and total sadist.

He’d wanted to hurt you, you knew he wanted to hurt you, even to this day, and sometimes you even went willingly, more often than not these days, it was you who went in search of him, desperate to feel the stinging bite of his whip, or the wet, burning pain of his claws raking through your skin, like butter. He’d been more than willing to oblige you, of course, losing more and more control as you gave more of yourself to him with every passing day. You were grateful, you realised, laughing softly at the absurdity, grateful that he’d stolen you away in the middle of the night, and locked you up inside this place he sometimes called home, to be his own personal little toy, but what a life it had been so far.

And now I’ve ruined it all.

You whimpered softly and hid your face, pressed firmly against your knees as the door opened slowly, allowing the dark-haired man to slip inside without a sound, eyes locking on your form instantly. You couldn’t see his eyes burning into you, but you could defintley feel that loaded gaze, and a tremor racked your body as you sniffled quietly. It had been a moment of weakness on your part, a lapse in memory of exactly why you had always been so careful, though he’d seen you stripped down on many an occasion, you’d always dutifully covered the hideous marks up with the make-up that he’d supplied you with when you’d asked. The shame that wracked you now was deep, all encompassing at your own stupidity. He’s going to throw me away, no doubt about it

The scars on your legs had not faded over the years, mostly because you were a repeat offender, despite trying to get help multiple times, nothing had really ever made a difference, and you had tired of people always looking down on you, with their pitiful eyes, “oh but we understand what you’re going through”, or, even better, “why would you do something so revolting to yourself”? The scars had eventually just become a normal part of your body, and since you were too riddled with anxiety to ever really connect with anyone, they’d never been an issue, until him, of course. You’d been tired, too tired to remember your morning routine, and now here you were, hiding in a bathtub as he walked slowly towards you, you fought the urge to cry, or laugh at how pathetic you were.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

The smallest ones were just pale lines across your upper thigh, the worst, the ones you had done in your most extreme episodes of self-hatred, were raised, bumpy, purple lines, that stood out a mile away, and you shook and cried quietly at the thought that he’d seen them, ghosted a finger over them, even, before your mind had screamed the realisation at you, which, in turn, had led to your very undignified bolt from the bedroom you’d recently begun sharing with him.

A soft touch against your throat had you shivering and biting your lip hard enough to draw blood, will he just get rid of me, or maybe even kill me? The gentle finger trailing down your neck forced a tiny little whimper from your throat, and a low growl rumbled from his chest in response as he swung into the tub with you, landing silently, to sit behind you. His hot breath on your ear had your eyes fluttering as he pulled you back against his cool chest, hands gripping tightly at your thighs even as you made a choked noise of distress at the action. A hot tongue ran slowly over the sensitive skin along your jaw, and you gasped quietly, leaning into him further as his teeth bit down harshly, eliciting a shaky little groan from you as you felt something wet dripping down your neck. His tongue ran over it instantly, shuddering as he cleaned the stinging wound carefully, nails drawing slow circles over your scarred skin even as you watched shakily.

He nuzzled into your throat then, and you turned slightly, before finally lifting your head to meet those eyes you loved so much, shivering at the intensity you found there, shivering when he leaned in to claim your mouth in a slow kiss, tongue surging forward into your mouth as he pulled you closer, tugging you around to straddle his slim waist, nails turning to claws, digging into your hips with a grin as you groaned against his hot mouth, shuddering against him as he clawed at your skin, slowly, with patience, and a care you knew he showed only to you. His eyes burned as he gazed down at your soft figure, eye twitching as he battled with his own self-control, tongue swiping over his lip as he squeezed the bloody claw marks.

His eyes snapped back up to your face then, and seemed to read the uncertainty there, the indescribable terror, at the thought of being abandoned by the only person you’d ever met who seemed to understand your need to be punished, to be hurt, to be pushed to the very limit of consent. His forehead touched yours gently, stormy eyes locked on yours as you breathed him in, comforted by the tangy smell of copper and blood that clung to him, strange to others, comforting to you. You bit your lip and took a risk, eyes flicking down so you didn’t have to see his reaction.

“I’m afraid that if I let you see every side of me, you’ll be disgusted”, whispered so softly you almost hoped he wouldn’t hear it, but judging by the tightening of his grip, the way his claws dug further into your supple flesh as you shivered, he’d heard you just fine. A warm mouth pressed against your jaw then, before moving up your face, across your cheeks, over your nose, pressing against your mouth, before tangling his tongue with yours again, slowly, like he was mapping out the inside of your mouth in intricate detail, leaving you gasping against his mouth when he finally pulled back to look at you, expression unreadable.

His eyes fluttered, his mouth turned down in a slight grimace before he opened it slowly, “I-“, he cut himself off, appearing frustrated by his inability to find the correct wording, his left hand moving up to card his now soft hands through your hair, lost in thought for a moment, considering carefully as you waited with bated breath, body trembling against him even as he tugged you closer, hands running up and down your arms to address the little bumps now appearing on your skin, when had it got so cold?

“I-“, he began again, still looking a touch uncertain as he tilted his head, eyes focusing on you with a seriousness that knocked all the breath out of your chest, “I-like-broken-things”, he managed to say, voice as monotone as it always was, and yet, you could feel the sudden emotion behind it, his desperate desire to get this right. ” Find-them-interesting”, he continued before shaking his head swiftly, looking annoyed with himself, “beautiful”, he amended quietly, “find-them-beautiful”. You trembled, nose brushing against his as your pressed closer to him.

“Maybe-that-is-why”, he began slowly, face scrunched in concentration, eyes a little wider than usual, “why-i-find-you-beautiful”, he finished, averting his eyes instantly, clearly uncomfortable. You shivered, arms trembling as you sat in his lap, hands running slow up and down his bare chest, eyes wet with unshed tears as you took it all in, he wasn’t leaving you. Your mouth found his a moment later, nails digging into his back and raking down his skin as he hissed underneath you in pleasure, claws returning to your hips again.

He claimed your mouth hungrily as you ground slowly down against him, moaning loudly into his mouth as he grabbed your ass, sharp claws breaking the skin with ease, pressing hard enough to leave a scar, for sure. “Only-me”, mumbled against your bare shoulder as he bit down, hard, drawing a desperate little squeal from you as you tugged on his dark locks pleadingly. “Only-I-hurt-you-now”, he finished before biting down viciously again, groaning as the taste of blood filled his mouth.

Your head collapsed against his as you trembled and gasped, body like a live wire against him as you went boneless, too enraptured in all the emotions, all the pleasure surging through you to really pay much attention, though you forced your brain to form a coherent sentence, knowing he’d be expecting a confirmation.

“Yes”, whispered softly against his hair as your breathing grew more laboured, “yes, only you”, enjoying the contented little hum against your stinging shoulder as he smirked slowly against your bloody skin, already bruising a dark purple under the sharp bite of his teeth.

“Only you, Feitan”.

[oodlyenough]

life is strange true colours review

the non spoilery part: i LOVED this game, my personal fave game this year and the first franchise entry since the original that has really resonated with or moved me.

it's a life is strange game through and through, so if you don't like slice of life episodes or bonding with NPCs, it's not gonna be for you. but if you like the franchise, or even if you liked the first game but haven't been interested in/liked the other two instalments, i recommend giving this one a chance. i think it got closer to figuring out the formula while still doing something new and interesting.

more detailed spoilers and opinions:

alex

holy shit i love alex? bisexual chad... my darling... i'm gonna be real, a lot of the trailers and promo for this game made me worried she'd be kind of a dull wallflower Soft Girl character, but she's not! she's so funny, and even parts of her characterization i initially thought were maybe a bit of a stretch ended up making sense as i learned more about her. she stole the show. i straight up forgot how much loving the protag helps enjoyment of these kinds of games lmao ... finally a reason to click on everything in the room: to hear what alex will say about it.

i thought her backstory exploration in ep 5 especially was wonderful and emotive and great. broke my heart and explained so much about her :( baby girl

plot/choices

i loved the mystery. i don't think it was quite as Mysterious as the mystery in lis1, but that was okay, i was still invested in solving it. i also got invested enough in the NPCs around the town to make all the exploration bits really fun. i loved eavesdropping on the sagas of the random NPCs like bald man and ice cream couple... just fun little touches and narratives to follow that i enjoyed.

i really appreciated this script not being afraid to shy away from some messier emotions, even if in some cases i wish we spent more time on them. for example: alex feeling a bit jealous of the other people in town that got to know gabe better than her/spend more time with him than she did. or charlotte hating ethan!!! my jaw dropped, i thought that was so good, what a messy but realistic response.

I'm not entirely sure what all the ramifications of different choices are at this point, fresh off my first play. i ended up getting only part of the council to stand with me (eleanor & duckie) while losing pike and charlotte.

i do wish we saw a bit more fallout or exploration of what taking away emotion DOES. i took charlotte's anger, and obviously it meant she didn't stand up for me in the council meeting, but where does she go from there? does she like... ever return to feeling emotions lmao... I also think we probably should've had the opportunity to do that another time, instead of just 2 isolated events -- I think Diane would've been a good candidate.

the romance

i romanced steph, ofc, but i was surprised during the game how drawn i was to ryan too -- i really liked that Drama of him being the one who cut Gabe free, as well as later the drama of him being Jed's son. UNTIL HE DIDN'T BELIEVE ME... that made me mad lmfao, i have to learn what to do to make him believe me before i play a Ryan route bc i'll kill him lmfao.

the steph/alex romance was sweet... it didn't really, like, Consume Me as a ship, but by the end of the game I was still "aww"ing at their moments in the flashforward. steph was more rounded and flawed than i thought she might be, which i really appreciated! i was worried they'd just make her perfect idealized gf, but she has a bit of a temper and is kind of tempestuous and stuff... liked it. loved her standing up for alex so fiercely and immediately at the council meeting <3 and my main reservation about her in ep 4 was that i wanted alex to stay in haven, so when she offered to stay i was thrilled LOL

one semi-complaint i had was that something i loved so much about lis1 was how max and chloe's relationship was central to the entire game and story, it wasn't some extra thing on the side, it WAS the game... whereas here, the romance routes, especially steph's, felt like sidequests. I wish they'd found a way to incorporate those relationships a bit more into the main goings-on. I also wanted to spend more time with either romance option to feel like I knew them better -- splitting the time between Steph and Ryan means that I came away feeling like I didn't get quite as much of either of them as I would've liked, vs spending almost the entire game with Chloe lol.

however, this ended up not really bothering me too much because I DID really like the core mystery and themes, the exploration of grief and Emotion, etc.

other characters

considering everyone knew going into the game that gabe was going to die, i was impressed with how they did it, and how they managed to get me attached to gabe in a mere single episode. it's a tall order to introduce a character designed to die, who your audience KNOWS is going to die, and still make them work.

i thought this supporting cast was ... maybe the strongest in the franchise? or at least, they created scenarios where i felt invested in multiple people in the town, and was genuinely trying to build decent relationships with most of them. duckie cracked me tf up, i liked eleanor and riley, even diane and jeb were good for their roles. (fuck pike. i signed ur stupid thing and left your emotions alone and you still won't do shit? ACAB!!!) the choice to stay in haven or leave was a little harder than i expected honestly, considering how quickly i let arcadia bay burn to the ground lmfao.

gameplay/etc

also i know the whole internet has been dunking on "empathy" as a super power since the game was announced, and i get that it sounds corny and looks corny in the trailers, but i thought how they did it was really cool. i wish they'd branded it "Mindreading" more than empathy tbh because a lot of the cooler elements of it are more along those lines... using her power to manipulate people, potentially taking people's emotions away and what that does to them... very interesting imo!

i really liked the memory feature!!! cool way to give us character exposition and inform the story while encouraging exploration. finally a collectible that like, expands the story, instead of chloe drawing butts on the wall and sean taking 10 years to draw something.

it's definitely the most evolved-feeling LIS game, which it should be, given it's the newest. graphics looked really nice, loved getting to see the characters actually emote, even if there are still some scenes that were a lil comically blank-faced -- usually NPCs. i actually noticed this with Jed the most, which in retrospect maybe was somewhat intentional?

i had a number of visual glitches, nothing major but a little silly, like T-posing Alex, npcs t-posing in the windows, etc. i'm sure they'll get patched out soon.

anyway... i rly liked this game, i'm excited for the steph dlc and finally feel like i have reason to be optimistic about future LIS instalments. hooray!

[lunaekalenda]

hi!! can i ask for either an eren or porco x reader fic where their titan form saves you from nearly dying during a battle and they get mad at you afterwards because they’re obviously not gonna be there all the time then when you apologize they end up breaking down because their afraid of losing you and it just ends in fluff 👉🏻👈🏻

OMG OMG wait this is gold!! that was a really good plot!! i had a hard time deciding, but i'm more into porco lately, so this time i'll be using him for my first fic! i hope you like it and sorry for the errors or the things that were different to the original ask :(  (*´-`) this takes place in one of the battles Marley fights against another enemy, but I will not follow the line of the original manga :D (also thanks to @breathes24 for refreshing my memory :D)

𝔰𝔞𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔶𝔬𝔲

❁ porco x reader

❁ mention of blood and battle, mention of the extraction of a bullet, bad talking. shingeki s4 spoilers!

The only thing you could hear were shots. You kept running, your feet hurted and the backpack was really heavy. Running in the middle of the battlefield was a suicide mission, you knew it, but you were not going to leave all in Pieck's and Porco's hands. So, trying to avoid the shots, you keep runing. You can see Pieck's bag shooting and Porco running from one machine to another, trying to break them with his hardened claws. You look around, the corpses of your companions scattered across the field, along with some enemies. You try to concentrate in what you’re trying to do. The kids are safe in the trench, and you’re not a soldier of valor, you only have nursing knowledge, useless for the fight.

That’s why the commander has not hesitated to send you as a distraction.

“If you expose yourself as an easy target, they will probably have to divide their attention between them and you. Also, they know there are nine Changing Titans, but they don’t know exactly how many of them we have. They could think you’re one of them. That will make Zeke’s appearance more unexpected for them, you see?”

"Where the hell is Zeke?" you think. He should be here helping, a lot of eldians have died. a scream is heard and you identify it as a Titan's one. Pieck received a shot on her hand. She's losing her strength little by little. Porco keeps fighting, and Pieck’s support soldiers do a great job mastering the cannons, trying to hit the enemies. Reiner is trying to stop their train.

"Just wait a bit, guys. I'm almost there..." you enter the enemy side of the field. Your trench looks empty, because your army blindly believes in titans. But, like humans, their stamina is limited, and transforming takes a great deal of energy.

"There's one of them!!" someone yells in front of you. "She could be the Beast Titan, kill her before she reaches the other two!" all the soldiers can be heard loading their shotguns. 

The first shot impacts on the floor. The second, near you. You just have an option: keep running, faster.

You accelerate the step to the front, where big war machines are searching you. From the trench, a lot of soldiers are trying to kill you, failing due to the poor visibility they have, but it's a matter of time before those who run the tanks finds you.

This is the end.

The shots are every time more precise, but you can’t return and leave them alone, waiting for Zeke to make his appearance.

You have no scape.

You close your eyes, accepting the destiny, while you keep running. You can hear them charging their big machines. They found you.

You’re their target now.

A Titan's scream is heard, right before the order of the enemy captain.

"Fire!"

You open your eyes when a shot impacts on your leg, and you watch how they charge the canons, ready to kill you. Now you have zero scape way, you’re hurt and you can’t move.

Suddenly, the Jaw Titan appears and, opening his mouth, picks you up off the ground, locking you in his hardened jaw. His speed of movement allows him to easily dodge all shots. 

"Thanks, Pock."

A tremor and the sound of lightning tells that Zeke has already arrived to help.

He keeps runing, and then all you can hear are rocks hitting people, trains and houses. Zeke’s titan may be slow for running, but his pitches are deadly. Your leg hurts where the bullet went through, and the pants you’re using are covered with blood. 

“Just leave me here and return. I don’t want them to lose because of me.”

He ignored what you said and kept running, but slowing down. Probably he’s tired, he has been fighting for hours. 

Once you two are far enough from the battlefield, Porco turns right and you recognize the path he has been taking. We’re close to the residence. He opens his mouth and you go down to the floor, but your leg complains of the roughness of the movement. Then, his Titan falls, and he appears behind it. He seems angry.

"What the hell were you doing there?" he says. His Titan is steaming. 

"I wanted to help you, you were doing all the work... The commander told me to help and I thought it was a good idea." Porco looks at you without saying anything for a minute. Then, he sighs and looks at your bleeding leg, before coming towards you. His arm slips under your knees carefully, and the other rests on your back, before he lifts you. “I can walk, you don’t have to...”

“You have a fucking bullet inside, just take help for one damn time.” You decided to shut up and he enters the residence. “I have some medical stuff in my room, I’ll take you there.” He starts to walk up the stairs, heading to his room. There are a few doctors on their daily check of the injured soldiers that live here. He opens his door using his foot, and he enters. His room is clean and clear. Natural light comes in through the window, and a bedside lamp lights up the corner of hi bed. He leaves you in the bed before walking to his personal bathroom, from where he takes a medicine cabinet. Porco drags a chair to place it near the bed, making him able to treat your leg. He hasn’t talk since we arrived here, but he keeps frowning. 

“We didn’t need help” He says after cutting your pants at the height of the wound. Then, Porco opens the medicine cabinet, and takes out thread, needle and some surgical tweezers. The scalpel glows when he pulls it out.

“Maybe this hurts a bit.” He whispers. He prepares also a towel with some water. “Grab that pillow and use it to muffle your screams.” You do what he said, and you put his pillow on your face. It smells like him, and it comforts you a lot. He works fast, moving his fingers with precision, and extracting the bullet without problem. Once he’s finished, he saves everything back in place and offers you a glass of water. You’re dizzy from the pain and you needed to drink, so you thank him and drink.

“Do it slow or you’ll be feeling worst, idiot.” he scolds tou. You drink it slower and you take a breath once you’re finished.

“Thanks” He puts the glass on the table he has as a desk. 

“Well, I...”

“You could have died out there” he says. He’s not looking at you, and runs his hand through his hair. “You were about to die.”

“Thanks for that, you saved me”

“I’m not going to last forever, you know? Someday I’ll die, and I’m not going to be there to save you like all the other times. So start thinking about surviving and stop playing the heroine.”

“Sorry?”

Why was he so pissed off? You didn’t ask for his help.

“I don't have to take care of you every time we go out onto the battlefield”

“Stop doing it, then”

“It's called companionship, but it only works if everyone focuses on surviving and not in saving stupid death-hugging soldiers”

“I never asked you to save me.” The words come out on their own before you could stop them. That was very rude, you’re ungrateful. He looks at you in the eyes, but you can't tell how he feels. 

“Cool, next time I'll take care of my business and let you die, if that’s what you want.”

He’s hurt. You hurt him because you were getting nervous. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean anything that I said. I was getting anxious...”

He sighs. “I also talked badly to you.”

“But you’re right. I can’t survive by myself.” 

“I didn’t mean to say that.” His voice is losing strength, and his gaze is lowered. “It’s just... I thought that today I was losing you, I was not going to be able to arrive on time” his voice breaks while he talks. “I don't know what I would have done if something had happened to you”

You looked at him surprised. “To me? Who cares about me? Maybe it’s because we trained together since kids.” You think for yourself, before speaking.

“Well, I know you care for all of us, but Pock yo...”

“You’re not getting it.” He says. Then he leans over to the bed. “I care for you. I care a lot. I can’t imagine if something bad happens to you. I’m always near in case I have to help you. I can only thing about your wellness.” His brown eyes are fixed on yours. “Please, don’t do that again.” His eyes are getting wet. “Just the idea of losing you terrifies me.” His hand sits on your back, and draws you to him. You’re speechless.

You have always been interested in Porco. When you first met him, you thought he was really handsome, and his personality made you think of him as unattainable. You two have been training together since kids. He was really good in all skills, and you were really bad. He helped you a couple times, but you ended in the nursery school. You started to lose contact, but then he inherited the Jaw Titan and wasn’t sent to Paradis, so you both coincide again. He is a man now, even more attractive than before, but with a somewhat shocking personality. So listen him saying this things makes your heart shudder.

“Pock, I...”

“I like you. Well, I think this is no more just attraction.” he whispers. “I guess I’m in love with you.”

That hit you like a train. His love for you was behind all the times he saved you, the times he helped you and the times he reprimanded you. He was moved by love, genuine concern. 

“Are you crying?” he separates you from his body to look at your face. Tears roll down your cheeks fast. Porco places his hands on both sides of your face, dabbing them dry with his thumbs. Your hands are placed on top of his, and you lean your head towards his touch. 

“I also love you, Pock” he smiles before kissing your forehead. “Since we were kids”

“You know that if you had said it before, I would have corresponded long ago” you laugh quietly, his thumbs tracing circles on your skin. “I can’t promise you a long life together, but if you accept the little that I can offer, I’ll be delighted to be with you.”

His lips place a soft kiss on your hair and you hug him.

“I will be happy to be with you, Pock.”

The room was silent, and you could only listen to his heartbeat, slow, because he has you on his arms, alive. You look at him, his handsome face looking you.

“Does that mean I can ask you to going out later” he laughs.

“I just took out a bullet from your leg, you have to rest.” you smirk.

“I live in the other part of the city. I can’t walk.”

“I’ll call a horse cart for you.”

He was having fun, dodging every possible way to spend time together that night.

“What if my leg hurts? I live alone.” you tried and, for your surprise, he smiled.

“Then I guess you need someone to take care of you tonight...”

His lips covered yours sweetly, and you thought you could get used to it.

To him.

[babymetaldoll]

Spilling drinks on my settee (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Prompt: Start a story with "Can you keep a secret?"

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Reader 

Word count: 2,8K

Genre: Fluff

Warning: none 

Summary: Spencer is drunk with Morgan, finally sharing his feelings for Reader 

Part two

Masterlist

- “Can you keep a secret?”

Spencer was drunk. He leaned over Derek tapping on his shoulder a few times, making him chuckle at the scene. Dr. Reid was never the one to go out, less going to a bar and have a few too many drinks. Hell no! He could be the designated driver for life, if only he liked to drive. When he joined his BAU friends on their nights out, he would usually stick with a whisky that could last the whole night, or even left untouched at the table after he left. But that night, Spencer Walter Reid was drunk as a skunk. Wasted. And his best friend was the only witness.

- “Ok kid, tell me your secret”

- “I'm in love”- the words came like a slur out of his lips, the ones that curled into a guilty smile- Stupid, crazy, and irrevocably in love.

- “No shit!”- Derek pretended to be surprised, but he would have been a lousy profiler if he had missed the look on his best friend's face in the latest months. He nearly had hearts draw on his eyes, like a cartoon.

- “Yesss”- he made that "s" sound longer than it should have and closed his eyes for a few seconds- “Yes, I am.”

Morgan was still chuckling as he stared at the kid. He was still a kid for him, though he was already 30. He still acted like one, still shy, inexperienced. He had more attitude on his job now, on the field, with the unsubs, his pairs. But in his personal life... well, that was a whole different story.

- “Do you want to know who she is?”- Reid whispered and brought a finger to his lips.

- “But shhhh! you can't tell anyone 'cos it's a secret”- it was getting harder for Morgan to remain serious at that conversation, but he managed to keep his poker face and nodded at his friend.

- “But you can't tell Penelope 'cos she is going to tell the whole FBI! I'm sure!”

- “I won't tell her”

- “When I told her I was afraid of the dark, everybody ended up making fun of me...”

- “I swear I won't, kid”- Derek nodded and reassured his best friend he could trust him. He knew it was hard for Reid to talk about his feelings, that was probably why he had gotten that drunk to share them.

It had been unusual when Spencer walked over to Derek and asked if he wanted to get a drink with him after work. It was weirder when he said he wanted it to be just the two of them instead of the whole team, cos "he had some serious business" he wanted to share with him.

- “I'm in love with (Y/N)”- and yes, Derek was right. Spencer wanted to talk about the obvious.

The whole team knew he was in love with (Y/N). It was crystal clear. It was so obvious even Strauss had joked about it with Rossi once. Yes, Spencer's feelings were so clear and visible, everybody was aware of his love.

Everyone but (Y/N), apparently.

Derek knew ('cos it was a well-established fact that Penelope couldn't keep a secret) that (Y/N) was sure Spencer wasn't interested in her. Garcia had tried to convince her their genius was head over feet for her, but Reid had made an excellent job in looking uninterested in her.

Why? 'cos he was stupid, and it had nothing to do with his high IQ. It was simply 'cos he was scared. Petrified by the idea he could lose her, so he had made sure his actions were nothing but friendly with her. They were best friends ever since they met, over six years ago when they both had started in the BAU, but despite their feelings, none of them had acted on them.

- “No way!”- Derek pretended to be shocked, and Spencer was so drunk he didn't get Morgan's sarcasm. Instead, he nodded and sighed.

- “Yes, I love her... I am in love, I think about her all day long when I'm not with her, and when she is around, I can't stop staring, she is the sun and I orbit around her existence.”

Derek widened his eyes as he listened to the corniest words he had ever heard Spencer pronounce before.

- “And I need help, 'cos I don't know what to do about it”

- “I think you should tell her, kid”- but Spencer shook his head frantically as if his friend had asked him to do the worst thing he could have ever thought.

- “No man, really, you've got a pretty good chance there, and you don't wanna live in the regret of thinking what could have been if you had done anything”

- “No, Morgan, I can't, I can't do that”- Spencer nearly started shaking at his best friend's suggestion. The fact he was being honest about his feelings to his friend was one thing, but sharing those feelings with the woman of his dreams, that wasn't on his plans.

Why? He couldn't find a good reason to do it. As far as he knew, letting (Y/N) know he loved her as no one had ever loved her before, could only mean the end of their friendship. And Spencer could live having (Y/N) only as his friend for the rest of his life, though it would break his heart deeper and deeper every day. But he couldn't live not having her by his side. He knew he couldn't. And he was sure if he revealed his true feelings to her, she was going to leave his side and disappear, end their friendship, and ignore his existence for the rest of his life.

Yes, Spencer was being dramatic, but he was scared. His mind kept telling him as soon as he told her how much he loved her, (Y/N) was going to disappear from his life as fast as everyone he cared for had done before.

- “If you don't want to tell her, then what's your plan, kid?”- Morgan asked the one million dollar question. Spencer just stared at him and took a sip of his whiskey.

- “I don't know”

- “Shit!”- Derek nearly shouted- “That's the first time I ever hear you say such a thing! man!”

- “Shut up! I don't know why I'm telling you this, I knew you were gonna make fun of me”

Spencer rested his head on his arm on the table and closed his eyes.

- “I just thought 'cos you are so smooth with women, maybe you could help me”

- “I can help you, Reid, I can, you just have to be open to the idea of telling her how you feel”

- “How can I tell her? she is gonna hate me”

- “She won't!”- Morgan tapped on his friend's back again and tried to calm him down.

- “How do you know?! You have never been rejected by any woman ever since I met you!”- but it didn't work, mostly because there was nothing on earth that could calm Spencer down at that point.

- “I know she likes you”

- “Sure, right!”- Reid snorted and finished what was left in his glass- “I need another one.”

- “You need to slow down, maybe get some water and fresh air”- Morgan stopped him when he tried to get to the bar and pulled him back to his seat

- “No, no no, you don't get it, Morgan, she went on a date with some random guy from a dating website...”

And Morgan realized where his friend's fears were coming from.

- “She is looking for someone, and clearly that someone ain't me!”

- “Maybe she is looking for someone to stop thinking about you”- Spencer furrowed his brows at Derek's words and stared at his hands on the table for a moment.

- “Come on man! you have to give yourself some credit! you are smart, you are funny, she is always laughing when she is around you”

- “At me! laughing at me! everybody laughs at me!”- for someone so smart, Dr. Reid was acting like an ass.

- “With you! be real, she is the girl who laughs at your jokes, listens to your rambling for hours, and actually pays attention to what you say”- Reid nodded, thinking of the sound of her laughter- “And you two spend most of your weekends off together!”

- “Clearly, she doesn't want to do that anymore, if she is looking for guys on dating apps”- Reid sounded bitter and hurt, two things he had never been very good at dealing with.

- “Why don't you ask her?”- Derek knew what Spencer was going to answer at that, the same he had said when he told him to be honest with her about his feelings: "No way". But instead, he only got a deep silence back.

- “Reid?”

- “You know what? I'm gonna ask her”- he whispered and nodded at himself- “I wanna ask her if she doesn't want to spend time with me anymore”

Morgan widened his eyes in shock.

- “And I'm gonna ask her now!”

- “Wait, kid”- but this time, he couldn't stop him, Reid grabbed his sachet, his jacket and stormed out of the bar, stumbling against a few people on his way out, 'cos he was too drunk to walk straight.

- “Kid! come one, wait!”

Derek followed him as fast as he could and grabbed his arm as he walked to her house. (Y/N) lived a few blocks from the bar, Reid didn't need a cab to get there, and he decided to face her and ask her why she didn't want to spend time with him anymore.

Of course, that wasn't the reason (Y/N) had gone out on that date. She actually wanted to spend all of her free time with him, but Prentiss had her forced to go out after hearing she hadn't been out in at least two years. Two years without a date. Two years actually without sex. Emily nearly died at the news, she couldn't believe anyone could live like that, and so, she forced her friend out with some random guy from a website.

- “There's no way you are spending another Friday night on your own! you need to have fun!”

- “I'm not gonna spend Friday night on my own! Friday nights are board game nights with Reid”- Prentiss frowned and crossed her arms on her chest staring at (Y/N) pouting.

- “Whatever it is you are thinking, please don't say it”

- “Boardgames with Reid, please tell me that means he is fucking your brains off on his dining table on top of a monopoly board”- (Y/N) wished her friend was right, but no.

- “Actually... no, it's Jenga night”

- “You are so going out this weekend!”

And she did, not Friday night, but Saturday afternoon. And it had been one of the worst dates (Y/N) had ever been on. Just like she had said that day back in the office, the guy was cute but dumb. On his behalf, she was in love with Spencer Walter Reid, any guy on earth was going to look dumb compared to him. But to be honest, he wasn't really bright either. And (Y/N) wasn't into him at all. They had a coffee, went to see a movie, and called it the night.

Spencer had no idea about that date, she never wanted to tell him 'cos it meant nothing to her. But after hearing the story of the date earlier that day, Spencer was a mess. He didn't know what to think, and that was the reason he was out there, drunk, asking Derek for advice.

He had tried to avoid her for the rest of the afternoon, he was upset, and he knew he was going to be passive-aggressive if they shared any word - he couldn't help it even when he knew he didn't have to act that way- and so, he didn't look from his paperwork until it was time to leave.

It was a good thing they were swamped with work, and (Y/N) didn't notice her best friend was giving him the cold shoulder from a safe distance.

- “Reid, Reid, wait!”- Morgan grabbed his best friend's arm and stopped him in his tracks- “What are you doing? you can't talk to her like this!”

- “I want to know! I deserve to know!”

- “Kid, you are drunk, you are not thinking straight”

- “Or am I?”- Spencer was slurring and his eyes were half-closed. Still, he knew what he was doing. He was making a mistake on purpose 'cos at that point, he was desperate.

- “Come on man, you are not thinking this, (Y/N) never said she is going out 'cos she doesn't want to spend her time you with you, those are your insecurities talking”

- “If she didn't do it because of that, then why?”- but Morgan couldn't answer, not because he didn't know the answer, but because Reid's retchings forced him to help him and pull his scarf and sachet back as he started puking in the middle of the sidewalk.

- “I think I'm gonna take you home now, kid”

Spencer felt like shit. He wasn't only drunk, but also miserable. He hated getting intoxicated like his, but he had no idea what else to do. He was lost and scared and wretched. He thought talking with Derek was gonna help, but he didn't know what to expect from his friend anyway, the only advice he got from Morgan was sharing his feelings with (Y/N), but... Reid knew he wasn't doing that, not in this life. Not if it meant he could lose her.

- “What the hell is going on here?”- (Y/N)'s voice felt like cold water running down Spencer's spine. He paused his puking for a second to look at her, and kind of smiled.

- “Oh! hey Buttercup!”- and that was all he could say before he continued vomiting.

- “Derek?”- the woman was shocked, had Spencer just called her by a cute nickname? she had always done it with him, he was her honey bunny, but he had never done it before... and she loved it- “What the fuck?”

- “Hey pretty girl!”- Morgan did his best to play it cool, though he was also freaking out. He knew (Y/N) wasn't going to be happy to know he let Spencer get that drunk. He was aware it wasn't his fault (not completely), but he also knew she was going to blame him anyway.

- “Why is Spencer drunk and puking on the front steps of my building?”

- “There's a very logical explanation for this”- Derek tried to elaborate on that idea, but nothing came to his head.

- “We had a few drinks”- Reid whispered and sighed, after everything he had eaten and drank had left his stomach.

- “Did you know alcohol is essentially a toxin, and so it can easily upset your stomach and cause you to vomit, particularly if you consume too much?”

Of course, being drunk didn't stop Spencer from being himself. After all, he didn't know how to be anybody else.

- “And now I'm taking him home”- Derek wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulder and looked around, trying to find a cab.

- “But what are you guys doing here?”- (Y/N) wasn't getting what was going on, and she was honestly concerned Spencer was intoxicated. She knew he lived alone, no one was going to take care of him.

- “Honey, do you wanna come inside?”

- “Yes, yes, I do”- Reid didn't hesitate- “We should go inside”

- “No, you are drunk, you are going to your house”- Derek didn't let Spencer move, knowing he was too drunk to have a coherent conversation with (Y/N), and making his best to prevent him from making a huge mistake. 

Morgan knew she was in love with him, but he didn't want him to talk to her under the influence, he knew it was something Spencer was going to regret in the morning.

- “Are you sure you don't wanna let him stay here?”- the girl asked and bit her lip, worried- “He can stay on my couch...”

- “He's gonna be ok, I'll take care of him”- Morgan smiled at (Y/N) and nodded- “It's my fault he is like this, I'm not gonna let you clean this mess.”

Her lips curled into a short smile. She looked at her best friend wasted, puke on his pants and shoes. His hair was a mess - a mess she wanted to run her fingers through, even when he was intoxicated - and his brow eyes were glassy. Even drunk he was gorgeous.

- “I'll call you tomorrow, ok?”- she whispered and Spencer nodded- “And I'll see you at work... I'll bring aspirins and coffee”- he kept nodding, feeling sick at the stomach again.

Derek stopped a cab and helped Reid in as (Y/N) stood at the sidewalk staring at her friends leaving.

- “What the fuck just happened?”

- “You owe me, kid”- Reid heard those words as he hugged his pillow and closed his eyes. He was on his bed, still fully dressed. He had only managed to take out his satchel and his shoes.

- “I wanted to stay over”- he murmured, making Morgan chuckle. The kid was acting like one.

- “Believe me, you'll thank me in the morning”

[thearvariblues]

The Witcher Eurovision!AU

Just an idea that got into my head while I was in the shower, since, as every European and non-European on this hellsite knows, it’s Eurovision night, baby!

So it goes like this:

Jaskier is a semi-famous (AKA Youtube-famous, probably) English singer with songs that range from “a bit weird but I love it” to “completely deranged and I LOVE IT” - a bit like The Amazzing Devil, obviously

he draws his inspiration from his life - like the time he gets inspired by a D&D campaign he plays with Geralt and writes Toss a Coin to Your Witcher (but Arvari, haven’t you already written that– Oh, shut up, brain, this is COMPLETELY different than the last time!)

he plays the song to Geralt before he records it, and Geralt, while secretly loving it and trying very hard not to blush, is like “Jesus, Jaskier, this is probably the shittiest thing you’ve ever written”

“Ex-fucking-CUSE ME, Geralt, it’s a lovely song, I could probably win the Eurovision with it!”

“Jask, if you somehow manage to be chosen for the Eurovision with this shit, I’m gonna be your background pole dancer, because that’s the only way I could make someone toss a coin to me.” (They’re both a bit drunk at this point, obviously.)

anyway, challenge fucking accepted

Jaskier knows there’s only one person who could help him to make this happen - so he tells Yen, Geralt’s ex-wife

who laughs for like ten minutes when she imagines her hunk of an ex-husband fucking pole dancing, and then immediately promises to do something about it

she pulls some strings, maybe sucks a few cocks - Jaskier is honestly too afraid to ask - but she gets him in

FUCK

so apparently, Geralt now has to learn to pole-dance

F-U-C-K

when Lambert (who, in this incarnation, is ginger and angry and Scottish, because fucking reasons that have nothing to do with a fact that I’m personally into ginger Scottish men, no ma’am) hears about it, he absolutely loses it

he demands to be allowed to go to the finale with them (and fucking hell, Geralt didn’t want anyone to know, and now everyone does, even people who don’t even know what Eurovision is, and Ciri has told all her friends and Geralt now prays that the ground would just open and swallow him whenever he has to pick her up from school and runs into one of her friends’ mothers...)

anyway, Lambert is allowed to come. So is Eskel. So is Yen and her wife Triss and of course Ciri. And Lambert’s boyfriend Aiden, because Lambert won’t take no for an answer.

Valdo Marx is sent a very special invitation which he very impolitely declines

also Lambert, who’s spent some time traveling with Aiden, bullies every non-British friend he has into voting for the stupid bard and the hot pole dancer (it doesn’t take much convincing once he shows them a video from Geralt’s rehearsal)

anyway the first time Jaskier sees Geralt actually do his pole-dancing number, he very nearly has a heart-attack

(no, he hasn’t been madly in love with Geralt ever since he met him twelve years ago, why are you asking?!)

he is pretty sure he’s not gonna survive the three minutes on stage with Geralt, but baby, what a way to go

he does survive

even though he spends the three minutes giving Geralt heart eyes that the whole of Europe can see

and call it adrenaline, but when the song comes to an end and Geralt gets down from his pole, Jaskier does the unthinkable and just... fucking kisses him

and Geralt just... kisses him back?

at this point, Lambert loses it again, and the whole audience with him

of course, they now have to wait a few hours before they can talk about it properly, but... Geralt it holding Jaskier’s hand while waiting for the results in the green room and WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

if Jaskier had known, he’d have gone into the Eurovision like ten years ago

or just kissed the idiot

anyway, this is how the UK finally wins the Eurovision, thanks for coming to my TED talk

[kisekinodrabbles]

Can we get detective Aomine, who gets assigned a female partner but from the start they're always at each other's throats. During an undercover case, reader has to be super flirty and Aomine gets all jealous and mutual confessions ensues. Maybe some sexy times at the end? :') Sorry if this is too specific, feel free to come up with your own interpretation! I'm such a huge fan of your work Sam and I'm so excited that you're opening your askbox even just for a little while!

ngl idk what im doing here but this is the last request in my inbox so i wanted to finish it haha pls enjoy (not proofread so excuse mistakes) - also my first time writing smut in like years so forgive me!!

Sometimes, Aomine thinks that if he isn’t a law and order professional, he thinks he might actually commit murder and hide your body away in some undisclosed, obscure location. Most of the time, you feel the same way about him. 

The two work in different divisions—Aomine in homicide and you in robbery. The two divisions have always been highly competitive especially given how much overlap you both encounter. Things can get territorial, but their teams are used to your snide remarks and Aomine’s verbal assault. It’s just the way the world works. 

After all, the two of you were in the same graduating class. You, a valedictorian by books. Aomine, top of the class by combat. It’s natural that the two of you are so competitive with your conflicting personalities.

The two of you may have also fucked at some point. 

–

“I’m not fucking working with her, are you kidding me?” Aomine spits out at his boss. Any other person would’ve been kicked out of the room or probably fired, but Aomine is the best detective in his division so Akashi would never do such a thing. For now. Aomine’s been wearing his patience thin. 

The red-haired man sighs, folding his hands together atop his desk. “Aomine, I understand you both have had your immaturity in the past. This, however, isn’t the time for such trivial matters. There’s a double homicide downtown during a robbery. She’s the lead for the case on the robbery end because they’ve been tracking a series of these.” Aomine opens his mouth to argue again. “No more buts. She’s already down there getting witness statements. Unless you want to be behind again, I suggest you get in your car and start driving.” 

He grits his teeth. Breathe. Don’t strangle your boss, he’ll probably kill you first. “I’ll take Wakamatsu.”

By the time he arrives on the scene, a crowd has gathered behind the police line, snapping pictures in the hopes of getting something Twitter worthy. He growls past all of them and ducks underneath the tape. “Where’s the officer that called it in?”

“Inside talking to the detective.”

“I’m the detective,” he snaps right back, knowing full well you’re already three steps ahead of him. And you definitely won’t let him forget that.

He marches past the thick front doors, Wakamatsu in tow. From a distance, he spots you talking to another officer. When he finally approaches you, he realizes that you’re in a skin tight dress covered by an oversized police jacket.

Your name slips past his lips. “Did we interrupt a hot date?” He smirks.

You whirl around, knowing full well the irritating voice that grates on your nerves. Aomine Daiki. “Unlike you, I have actual friends and actual plans on a Friday night. Did you decide to give your wrist a break for the night?” 

Aomine bites back, “Well, it’s not getting much rest either when I had my fingers knuckle deep in something tight and wet tonight.” Complete lie but he’s not about to lose this battle. “Not sure you know how that feels though.”

“If you’re talking about the pudding in your fridge, you might want to ease up on that. Doesn’t look like it’s doing you any favors,” you smile right back at him, knowing full well you’ve won this argument.

Aomine growls low under his breath, jabbing Wakamatsu hard with his elbow when he hears the snort escape him. “Brief me on the situation,” he tells the police officer.

“Well, uh, I already told this detective here—”

“I’m the other detective in charge for homicide. Now, you better fucking brief me before I tell your captain.”

The guy glances at you warily and you just laugh. “Told you he hasn’t gotten any in a long time. Come on, sugar, I’ll brief you on the way down to the vault.” You curl your finger in a gesture to get him to follow you and he sucks up his pride for the first time and do as he’s told. If he solves this case, he still gets the credit and you can go back to that sewer where you came from.

There are two bodies at the vault and forensics are already working to collect evidence when they arrive. “Your area of expertise, double homicide. Both are surprisingly the robbers. Four of them broke in, only two were seen exiting with money bags. No other casualties.”

“Fucking weird,” Aomine mutters. It’s not new for robberies to go wrong, but for two of them to die with no civilian casualty? That’s fucking weird.  

“Interesting, isn’t it?” You grin, seeming way too pleased considering there are two dead people in front them. “The ammo is the same as the previous bank robberies in the area. We’re going to assume they’re linked to the Red Dragon clan.”

“Fuck,” he groans, “I fucking hate those guys. Bitches to deal with. Hard to infiltrate.”

You flick your hair over your shoulder, grinning at him. He can’t help but draw his gaze to your neck, a very attractive neck. Now that he notices how tight that dress is, he can’t help but admit that it has been a while since he’s gotten any action. The curves of your breast defined so clearly by the fabric that stretches across the mounds, the flow of your hips, every dip and rise. Your exposed legs further emphasized by your heels. God fucking damn. He feels his pants tighten as he licks his teeth. Get it together, Aomine. 

Of course, the clothes do nothing to remove the memory of your nude body from his mind. He’s seen all parts of you some time ago. A drunken mistake that ended in a brief, but extremely satisfying night of passion. Your tight pussy wrapped around his cock, your nails digging into his biceps. He can still picture the sheen layer of sweat on your skin as he rams into you, your broken moans falling from your lips. 

“Well, lucky for you,” you start again, pulling him out of the hazy cloud of lust. “I already have someone on the inside. They’ve set up a meeting for me tomorrow night meet with the head’s son. I’ll try to get some information done.” 

“Lucky for you, I’m free tomorrow to be your backup. You’re welcome,” Aomine smiles, “Don’t fuck this up. I don’t feel like cleaning up after your ass.”

“I should say that about you, asshole.”

–

Aomine is sat in a dingy van just across the street from the bar you’re having your meeting. You’ve hidden your mic in the perfect spot, a location which you do not disclose to Aomine. However, he has a feeling it’s somewhere promiscuous that he wants to be aware of. They can see the restaurant clearly, their brat hacker Sakurai having plugged into the restaurant’s security cameras. 

“Shut the fuck up, Aomine. I can hear you munching on your stupid sour cream and onion chips.” You mutter into your mic before the guy arrives. You sip your wine and take a deep breath. This isn’t the first time you’ve gone undercover but it is the first time to have Aomine behind you while you do so. 

The detective looks down at the can in his hands. Sour cream and onion. How did you know? He sets it aside, bringing the mic up to his lips. “Maybe you should do your job better and focus on your meeting instead of listening to me. Why are you so obsessed with me, hm?” 

However, a man’s voice on the other side of the headphones has him straightening. “Good evening, I didn’t expect to be meeting a lovely lady like you tonight,” the sleaze says and Aomine can just imagine him kissing your hand. “When Tanaka said I’d be meeting with the right hand of White Claw, I didn’t expect it to be a woman.”

“Well, we are moving up in life, Mr. Ito.”

“Your good looks are certainly quite persuasive. I’m sure there are ways you can convince me to strike a deal.”

Fucking. Sleaze.

“Oh,” you laugh lightly, “what a flatterer. You’re not so bad yourself. I can imagine people fall at their feet for you.”

“Well, I am quite knowledgeable in more ways than one. Perhaps I can show you tonight after dinner.”

The two banter back and forth, trading flirty comments that puts Aomine on edge. You’re supposed to be doing your job and he knows that. He knows this is all an act but you’re a damn good actress. 

“Aomine, where are you going?” Wakamatsu’s concerned voice carries through the speaker.

You freeze. This fucker better not screw this whole operation up. “Well,” you say, “this has been a lovely dinner. I’m sure we both can come to an agreement without doing anything reckless.” 

The double meaning, a sentence meant for the man across from you and the man listening to you rings clear. Aomine growls, sitting back down petulantly in his seat. He was about to rage in there and start a war, but holds himself back. Be professional, Aomine. Job first, dick needs later. 

“The same to you. It’s been a pleasure meeting you,” the man smiles. “Are you sure you won’t join me for the night?”

Aomine snarls low into his mic. Wakamatsu shoots him a weird look. You let out a little giggle and he knows it’s meant for him. “No, thank you, Mr. Ito. I’m afraid I have other commitments to tend to.” 

When he knows it’s safe, he storms into the restaurant where you still sit, sipping your drink. Sliding into the seat across from you, he rolls his eyes. “Enjoy yourself?” 

He didn’t see when you were set up with the mic earlier so he also hadn’t seen what you were wearing. He’s almost grateful because he knows he might’ve lost it if he did. Tight ass dress, deep neckline that shows ample cleavage (he’s always a sucker for this), sultry eyes, red lips. God, all his favorite things packaged into one. 

Your lips quirk up. “The breadsticks here are quite nice.”

“Fucking hilarious. Let’s go.”

“Why the hurry?”

“Unless you want Wakamatsu to hear me fuck you, you better dump that mic and get your ass up.”

You lean back, narrowing your eyes at him. “I’m not sure I like your tone.”

“Trust me, you don’t have to like my tone to enjoy what I’m going to do to you.”

Licking your lips, you consider your options as you bring the wine back to your lips. “Fine,” you mutter, unclipping the mic from the strap of your dress. Aomine moves faster though, snatching it from your hands and dumping it into the wine. Before you can protest, he already has a hand wrapped around yours, tugging you up from your seat and into the back room. 

You’re stumbling in his manic rush, heels barely keeping up with your movements. “Aomine!” You chide as he pushes all the way to the employee break room. The space is fortunately empty and Aomine locks it to make sure it stays that way. “Can you please stop?! You’re such a caveman, I—”

He’s quick to shut you up, swallowing your words with his lips as they slot over yours. He doesn’t waste time, shrugging off his leather jacket as he licks your bottom lip for permission. You gasp a complaint, but he takes advantage of the situation to stick his tongue in, pressing it up against yours. 

All your worries fall away into a moan as he separates from you only to gasp for breath and pull his t-shirt over his head. With nimble fingers, he’s unzipping the back of your dress and yanking it down, leaving your top half exposed. Shivering, you’re about to voice your disapproval but your brain seems to stop functioning the second your gaze lands on his tanned body.

Aomine’s always been attractive. No one can deny. There’s a reason why he’s simultaneously the precinct’s most eligible bachelorette and most insufferable jackass. His confidence matches his skills. His looks live up to his brags. Hard lines and shadows are painted on him like a masterpiece in a museum. His broad shoulders make him look even bigger with his height. His jeans that hang just low enough to be tantalizing with the hint of a v that leads to the space between his legs. 

Your mouth dries up at the sight and Aomine smirks knowingly. You’ve fallen into his bed before, he can make it happen again. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Fifth grade humor doesn’t become you, Aomine.” You scowl as he backs you up against the table in the middle of the room. He effortlessly grabs you by the ass to lift you up and onto the surface, the metal cool against your exposed thighs. 

“Did you dress up for me, doll? Knowing full well that this was going to happen,” he grins devilishly, bringing his hands up to shamelessly cup your breasts. 

It’s not as if you’re embarrassed for being so bare before him. You’re proud of your body and he damn well knows that. You let him fondle you through your bra for a little bit. “No, you animal. I dress for the job.”

“You tell me you wear this flimsy thing—” he teases the light coverage of your lingerie. The lace is sheer and barely covers your nipples, the material holding onto your breasts for dear life. “—for the job?”

“I do my job right, asshole,” you spat right back. “So are you just going to stand there or are you going to fuck me?”

A wide grin stretches across his face. The heat in his eyes carry to his hands as he works to unclasp your bra and let it fall to the ground. Aomine doesn’t waste time as you lean back on your palms, granting him full access to fondle and suckle on your tits. His tongue swirls around the sensitive nubs that have grown stiff in the contrast between the cold air and his warm breath. His teeth graze the sensitive skin hard enough to have you groaning in pleasure. His lips close in around them and suck. He uses his hand to tease and tug your other breast, pinching it to elicit that delicious whimper out of you. Aomine alternates between the two, making sure you stay warm. 

Meanwhile, you let your hand fall to the bulge between his legs. He lets out a small grunt at the initial touch but seems to respond favorably to the way you stroke the tent, nudging his hips forward for more friction. “Is that a gun in your pants or are you just excited to see me?”

“You’re so fucking ridiculous,” Aomine mutters, both humored and unamused by your comment. 

“Fuck,” you let slip as your fingers struggle to unbutton his jeans. “Your fucking pants. Don’t you live in sweats? You choose today of all days to wear your stupid tight jeans?”

Aomine chuckles, “Patience, baby. You know you like my ass in these.”

You do, but you’re not about to admit that. He quickly works off his pants, letting them drop to his ankles as he moves towards you again. While he continues to stimulate your tits, your hand begins groping his cock which is rock hard and peeking from the top of his boxers.

“God, I miss having this inside me,” you whine, pulling the flimsy fabric off and letting it pool on top of his jeans. “Condom?”

“You don’t want me raw? You know you want to feel all of my cock,” he grins. You throw him a glare and he just chuckles as he reaches for his wallet on the floor, pulling out a packet and tossing it onto the table. “But first,” he pauses, letting his hands slide down to cup your pussy, which is admittedly already drenched at that point. 

He hisses when he feels your juices drip and coat his fingers. “You’re so fucking wet, goddamn. How long have you been waiting for this?”

“When that robbery happened, I was about to get laid for the first time in months. So fucking sue me,” you snarl at him. 

“Well, I am here to please,” he wets his lips. He slips one finger in, sliding in all too easily. So he adds another finger and feels your walls pulse around him. He begins pulling it out before shoving it back in, repeating the measure to stroke your walls. He curls his fingers inside as he watches your face closely.

Your expression morphs from irritation to blinding pleasure in an instant. Your eyes slide shut, your lips part to exhale shaky breaths. Aomine seems to know exactly how to angle and twist his fingers to induce a heart attack. The sounds falling from your mouth are ephemeral, Aomine wishes he can film this moment so he can replay it over and over again. 

He pumps his fingers into you and ducks his head to take your nipple into his mouth again, tongue circling the tip. “God, you taste so fucking good. I forgot how wet you can get. Don’t even need lube to slide into you, huh? You’re already dripping for me.” 

“Asshole,” you murmur weakly, clearly in no place to retort. 

“Remember the first time I fucked you? God, you were so easy,” he grins, “you were so wet, so turned on already. Remember when I stuck my tongue in your pussy? Licking up your juices. You tasted so sweet.” 

Your breath stutters in your chest, hitching in your throat. “Fuck you, let’s not forget how quickly you came when I sucked you off.”

“I mean, the sight of you on your knees is enough to get anyone off, sweetheart.” 

“Fuck me,” you groan. Any rational thought has fizzled from your brain. The feeling of his fingers inside you is enough to consume you whole, overwhelming you in waves of rapture. 

“What was that?”

“Dickwad.”

He chuckles darkly, licking his lips again. “Beg me.”

“I’m not going to—”

Aomine yanks his fingers out, looking down at you, taunting you. He waits as you internally struggle with your moral convictions. Are you willing to give up your pride for one night just to get fucked out of your mind?

Easy.

Yes.

“Please,” you huff, “please fuck me.” 

“Please fuck me who?”

Your eyes find the ceiling, wondering what in the hell you did in your lifetime to have met the devil that is Aomine. Biting your lip, you lean closer to whisper, “Please fuck me, Da-i-ki.” 

The man is a sucker for you calling him by his first name. And to get what you want, you’re willing to play into his hands. Aomine lets out a low growl before ripping open the condom packet and rolling the thin rubber along his length. Your pussy squeezes at the sight. Just imagining what it’s like to have that thickness inside of you, fucking you full, has you on edge. 

He doesn’t waste a single second, pulling you forward and slowly positioning himself in front of you. He holds onto his cock, letting the tip trace your pussy lips, circling it and letting your juices drip onto his cock. Stroking the wetness along his dick, he uses it as a lubricant before he slides himself inside you.

When he’s buried to the hilt, Aomine leans forward and lets his forehead rest on your shoulder. Your pussy is so fucking tight. It’s squeezing and throbbing around him with the engulfing heat. He feels as if he’s going to explode right then. 

“Fuck, you really haven’t been screwed in a while,” Aomine rasps. 

“Told you.”

Aomine starts off slow, pulling out and pushing back in. With how thin the condom is, he can feel every ridge, every bump in your heat rub up against his cock. The sensations is enough to have his thighs quivering, but he’s not one to back down. He begins to pick up the pace, thrusting deep inside of you repeatedly. HIs mouth latches onto your neck, tongue lapping and teeth nipping to paint purple blooms upon your skin. 

His movements are building a bubbling pressure in the pit of your stomach. You feel your heart tightening with every move, your insides squeezing. The absolute pleasure that crashes over you has you breathless, your hands finding purchase on his arms. 

He mutters filthy words in your ear, one of his hands reaching up to tangle in your hair. He yanks back lightly, just enough to have you moaning. You like it rough, he’s well aware of that. He pounds into you relentlessly, hands keeping you in place as whimpers tumble from your mouth. 

“Fuck, right there, oh god,” you gasp, “fuck me harder. God, your dick feels so good. Filling me up so full with your thick cock.” 

“Keep talking like that and I’ll be tempted to come in you, baby,” Aomine grazes his teeth along your ear, hot breath kissing your skin. “God, I want to just fucking cream inside you.” 

“Better watch yourself, Daiki.”

Aomine grins lasciviously, sweat beginning to bead his forehead as he attempts to keep himself in check. He feels you tighten your pussy, walls closing in around him. “Bitch,” he growls. You know what you’re doing but he’s not about to let you gain dominance of the situation.

So his hands dig deeper into your hips as he fucks you harder and deeper, his cock pulsating inside of you on the brink of his self-control. “I’m about to come,” he says with eyes squeezed shut. If he sees your tits bouncing as he fucks you again, he might actually combust in that second. 

“Me too,” you panted, fingers scraping down his arms. 

With a few more pumps, Aomine spills into the rubber with a grunt. He feels you convulse around him, your entire body trembling in the aftermath of your orgasm. He can feel his come continue to leak from his cock. God, he hasn’t come this hard in a fucking long time. 

His heart is thundering in his chest from the impact of his climax. He slumped forward, leaning against you for support—also partially to feel your tits press up against his chest. “Fuck,” he huffs.

“That was good,” you admit to yourself, still breathing heavily as you begin fixing your hair. “We should do that again sometime.”

Aomine just laughs, huffing against your skin. “You’re the fucking she-devil.”

“Says the guy who’s fucking me in the back room in the middle of an undercover operation.”

“Dick first, job second.”

–

Wakamatsu looks at him when he walks into the precinct that morning. “You do realize the captain is going to kill you for fucking up that expensive mic, right?”

Fuck.

[reawritesthings]

Like a Virgin | JJ Maybank

gif by @rudypankows​ + edited by @heywards​

summary: dating jj was a dream come true, but his history with past tourons made you feel insecure as you were a virgin. finally building the confidence, you decide to finally have sex.

words: 3.4K

warnings: SMUT, fluff smut. fingering, hand job and hair pulling kink??? lil angst

a/n: it’s my first time writing something smutty to bare with. i really thought ill write something where it’s making love and not just hard core sex. i hope you enjoy it

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Handing Kiara the drinks for the table in the far right, something was eating you up. As you saw JJ waltz in with his wet curly hair, you knew he wanted to kiss. 

“Hey, pretty girl” JJ smiled leaning up on the counter and placing a small kiss on your lips.

“Hey! We both finish work in 10 minutes, you wanna stay?” You asked about trying to fill up the cans with new straws. 

JJ nodded biting his lips as that top wasn’t doing any favours. “ Do you maybe want to go back to yours… we can ditch the pogues?” 

You knew that invitation, you know JJ has needs which you understood but you were afraid. 

“I guess we can? Let’s just ask Kie, if it's okay first?” You whispered not meeting his gaze as you turned over to get more tissues.

Since you were occupied, JJ knew something was up, something was off; you wanted to be alone. Since Kie was your best friend and told her everything, JJ shot his shot.

“Kie? Is everything okay with Y/N?” JJ asked her and helped her carry the tray of dirty dishes. 

Kie nodded looking over at you as you managed to drop half the straws on the floor. 

“Maybe, I don't know. What did you do?” Kiara interrogated him, standing back so she could get an answer from him.

“I just asked her if she wanted to ditch you losers and be alone at her place.” JJ defended, there wasn’t anything wrong with that. 

“Ohhh. I get it… Well, head ups.” Kie spoke, slowly walking over to the counter. 

“Would you just tell me?” JJ’s frustration was getting the best of him. 

“She’s a Virgin… she hasn’t had sex before and since you have a reputation of doing it with every girl, she’s afraid that she isn’t going to be good.” Kiara let out, it wasn’t her place but JJ wouldn’t shut up unless Kiara told him.

JJ silently nodded looking over at you, giving you a small wave. 

“Don’t be a dick.!To some girls, losing their virginity is a big deal. If you really like her then you would respect that.” Kiara whispered trailing off towards the counter, handing you the dirty dishes. 

JJ was stunned, he didn’t even know you were a virgin and that somehow turned him on more. The innocence, the pleading and needing his touch, that sounded so much better than rough sex. 

                                      ❀❀❀❀

Saturday nights were date nights, you and JJ would spend hours watching the stars, drinking beer and occasionally kissing. Since John B was getting over some Touron who ditched him for Rafe, he tagged along but always managed to ruin the mood with his constant whines. 

“We are going to call it a night. John B” JJ said grabbing onto his shoulder, “Good luck.” 

JJ being the perfect gentleman he is, he opened the chateau door for you and directed you to the spare bedroom. He closes the door behind you and slowly pulls you closer to him. 

One arm loops around your waist, whilst the other firmly stays on the back of your head. You grip onto his t-shirt as your body is now touching his. Being smaller than JJ, JJ pulled your onto his lap letting you get comfy. 

His free hand slowly moves down your back, letting the shivers take over you. His fingers slowly dipping into the waistline of your shorts.

Knowing what he is doing, and out of fear you moved his hand back up.

“JJ…” 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, gently planting a small kiss to your nose. 

“Can… Can we maybe, slow down…” You nervously said, avoiding to meet his gaze.

“Of course” JJ responded, but looked at you with concern. “You good?” 

“Yeah, I just like the way things are…” You assured him hoping he doesn’t think you aren’t interested, you are but you were afraid. 

“Oh fuck..” JJ swore, moving his hand away from your back as he gently rubbed circles on your upper arm.

“Better?” 

“Better.” 

                                        ❀❀❀❀

The next day was pretty much a normal day, you noticed JJ wasn’t there taking up the majority of the bed. You rubbed your eyes as you replayed the events of last night, how stupid you were. 

You knew JJ was going to break up with you, you knew he loved sex but being afaird of not being good enough like the other girls made you avoid it as much as possible.

“How was date night?” Kiara barged in, looking over at you. 

You didn’t respond nor look at her. 

“Everything okay?” Kiara asked slumping down to the bed, pulling you into her embrace.

“Do you think JJ is going to break up with me?” You whispered, playing with her bracelets.

“Why would you think that? The boy adores you.” Kiara reassured you but that wasn’t enough, it was never enough. 

“I think he wants to have sex… he made a move yesterday and I freaked out.” You sniffled as you let the tears invade Kiara’s skin. 

“Hey hey.” Kiara gently stroked your hair, shaking her head.

“JJ understands, he gets that you want to take things slow…” 

“But he loves sex, he used to boast about it all the time. All those Touron girls he hooked up with, I can’t compete with them.” You semi yelled, letting your insecurities get the best of you. 

Kiara felt sympathy for you, she warned you about JJ’s exotic past but if she knew you would beat yourself up because of this, she wouldn’t have opened her mouth. 

“Those Touron girls are rats. You don’t need to be like them or have their experience. Being a virgin makes the male 10x more attractive to you. Trust me.”

And you did, you trusted Kiara. Tonight was the night you would let JJ touch you, feel you and pleasure you. It was time and you were ready, you think.

                                  ❀❀❀❀

Honestly, the last couple of hours of preparation was making you even more nervous. He was about to come over, he didn’t even know that you were going to give yourself to him.

You had Kiara’s words repeating in your head, don’t ever feel like you have to do anything you don’t want to.

“Baby? Are you here?” JJ called out looking through all the doors to find his girl.

“In here.” You demanded, sitting seductively on the bed with nothing but a sheet around you. 

JJ opened the door and his eyes trailed onto your body, he bit his lip as he noticed you were definitely naked underneath. 

“I-I um” JJ stuttered as he was trying to form the words to compliment you.

“Just sit.” You chuckled, pulling him down next to you. 

“Baby, what’s going on?” JJ spoke but you slowly brushed his hair as you lightly kissed his jawline. 

JJ slowly moved his fingers against your collarbone, moving down to tug onto the sheet wrapped around your body. Your body stiffens as you feel the sheets drop down. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks

“Nothing” You lie

You slowly lean in to kiss him again, but he gently pushes you away as he cups yours hands with his. 

“Y/N” He says, “What’s gotten into you? Something is off about you? You know you can tell me anything right?” 

You nodded, looking down at your sheets not wanting to confess. 

“Tell me what’s wrong? One minute you don’t want me to touch you, then the next you are naked? And when I touch you again, you reject me. I know you want to take things slow, and I respect that.. but I need to know your boundaries because I don’t want to hurt you..” 

You slowly met his gaze, you didn’t want to confess that you were a virgin. You felt sorry for him, you wanted him to touch you but you always imagined that you weren’t good enough for him. You weren't experienced, and that frightened you. 

“I’m a virgin.” You mumbled out of your mouth, slowly playing with his fingers.

JJ squinted his eyes, “What did you say?” 

“I’m a virgin.” You repeated, looking at him but he responded with a soft kiss to your cheek.

“I kinda figured..It’s okay baby. I understand, it’s okay to be nervous.. it’s a big deal losing your virginity and I’m honoured to be taking it..” JJ reassured you, pressing a soft kiss to your temple.

“You aren’t mad? That I didn't tell you?”

“Of course not. I love you, Y/N. You can tell me anything.” He reassured, letting you play with his hair to keep you sane.

“Can we maybe kiss some more…” you asked tenderly, hands slowly gripping his top as you slide it off his body.  

He chuckles softly and cups your cheeks into his hands. Your lips melt into his as he slowly pulled you into his lap, letting the sheet fall off your skin. 

Things began to go more smoothly. You were both just making out when you caught JJ by surprise when you slowly drifted your hands down to his jeans.

“JJ..?” You asked as he lifted your chin up to meet his lips. 

“Yes, pretty girl?” 

“I- I want to go all the way, I want to have sex with you.” You shyly admitted, pulling your hands to your face to avoid embarrassment.

“You sure?” He asked, not wanting to pressure you into doing something you weren't comfortable with.

“Yes… just go, slow”

“Of course, baby. If I ever make you feel uncomfortable, let me know and I’ll stop.” JJ hummed as he slowly trailed his hands down your back, causing you to tense a little.

“Relax, okay?” He assured you.

You nodded as you feel JJ’s hand slide from your back up towards your collarbone, letting his eyes gaze over your breasts. 

“You can touch them…” You smiled leaning in to kiss his lips. 

You take his hand in yours as you guide him towards your breasts, he carefully brushes his hand over the nipple letting a moan escape your lips.

“You like that, pretty girl?” He whispered.

“You're so beautiful.” He hummed as he wrapped his mouth around your nipple, drawing a soft grasp from you. 

He sucks and nibbles until your aching for him. Your hips begin to grind against his, the bulge of his erection finally saying hello. The realisation of how his erection came made you feel a little more confident.

“Jesus.” You breathe, as your hand rests on his chest. 

“What’s wrong?” JJ asked, looking up.

You bite your lips as you slowly grind more against him, trying to feel how long his dick was. Despite the feeling of not being good enough, your pussy was saying otherwise as you felt the wetness.

“It’s so big..” You breathe, looking at his face which grew a smirk. 

“Want to stop?” He asked, as from your reaction, it wasn’t exactly inviting. 

“‘No. I want to do this, JJ. I want to.” You demanded, looking at him which he just nodded. 

You kissed him again, weaving your fingers through his hair as you felt your bodies compress together. The feeling of your bare bodies together made you much closer than you already were.

JJ carefully picks you up, laying you on the bed as he planted a small kiss to your nose as his body blankets you. 

“I’m going to take my boxers off, okay?” He told you, as he got off the bed, sitting down on the side of the bed. His hand began to tug on the waistline, but you immediately placed your hand there too, letting your hand slide them off. 

JJ’s dick sprang free, your eyes were immediately glued to his length. It was huge, and that’s why the girls loved it.

You looked up at him for assurance and he nodded as he let you wrap your hand around his length, letting you have a feel of what’s yours, and only yours. 

You begin to stroke his dick gently hearing a moan from his lips. JJ moans, eyes slowly shutting, as you can’t help but blush. Knowing that you, a virgin, can make JJ feel this way made you grin.

“Fuck, Y/N.” He breathed out letting his hands firmly grip onto your waist. “If you keep doing what you are doing, I won’t last very long.”

You didn’t understand what he meant by that but you slowly stopped, looking at him with a huge grin.

“Let me grab a condom..” He breathed looking around the spare bedroom, trying to find one. After retrieving one, he rejoins you as he looks at your body. He couldn’t believe that his girl was naked for him. 

“Fuck, you are so beautiful.” He murmurs as he sends light kisses down your belly. “C-Can I taste you?” 

You nodded, spreading your legs for him to gain access.

JJ positions himself to your entrance, he looks up at you to get one more reassuring nod as he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.

“If you want me to stop, let me know..” he whispered as he gently spread your thighs open. You gave him a nod and felt a little blush hit your cheek as you felt his hungry mouth gaze into you. 

He bent down, his belly was flat on the bed as he rested his cheek onto your inner thigh, letting out a gentle blow to get you to understand the feeling. 

JJ smiled as he could sense your pussy tingle and dived in. His tongue works quickly between your folds, his mouth investigating what movement would make you scream his name. You quickly grab his hair as you let out a loud moan, his moan melodises with yours as he didn’t know he had a new kink, hair pulling. 

He sits back, looking up at you. “Did you like it?” 

You nodded, “Fuck, why did you stop?” You pouted.

“That’s just the beginning babe, wait until what JJ jr can do.” He cringed as he couldn’t believe he just named his dick. 

“How are you feeling?” He asks you, as he slowly kissed the inner sides of your thighs, letting his teeth mark his territory.

“Really good..” You moaned out which JJ hummed as he was so ready to take you, all the way.

JJ reaches up to your face and kisses your lips, letting his hands slowly slide down your wet pussy, rubbing small circles over your clit.

“Who's making you this wet? Hmm?” He teased.

“Y-you..” you moaned out as the feeling was sensational.

His middle finger gently enters you, the metal ring that was attached to his fingers made you moan his name. He begins slowly but judging by your face and moans, he knew you wanted more.

“Baby, I’m going to add another finger, okay?” He assured you, and entered another finger which your pussy took well, surprisingly.

“God you're tight.” He moaned letting his lips attack your neck, leaving a few hickeys. 

“Don’t stop…” You breathed out, as your hands made their way to his hair again, each time he went faster the tighter you pulled on his hair.

JJ carefully works his fingers in and out of you, twisting and curling his fingers to stimulate your folds. The process gets more intense as your hips are rocking with his four fingers inside you. 

“JJ, I need you.. need you right now.” You managed to speak as you gripped onto his shoulder. “Please” you begged.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you..” he whispered, gently withdrawing his fingers out of you. 

He wipes your cum onto your thigh as he gently kisses your hickey that was now visible to him. He hovered over you to grab the condom. Once he slid it on, he positioned himself to your entrance. 

“You ready, baby?” He asked, moving your legs further apart as he let his length invade you. 

“F-fuck” you moaned, gripping onto the sheets as he pressed more of his length inside you. 

“You good baby?” He asked.

“It feels so good, don’t stop.” You moaned.

“Yes, ma’am.” He chuckled. 

It took awhile for you to adjust to his length, and now your hips are pressed against his. You knew in the back of your mind, it was going to ache in the morning, but it sure felt amazing. 

“I’m going to start moving, okay?” He says, “Remember if you ever feel uncomfortable, let me know okay?” 

“I know.” You smiled.

JJ started slow to get you familiar with the pace of his dick inside you. He gradually picks up the pace, making sure that you were comfortable. 

“F-feels so good.” You moaned out, letting his hands gripped onto your breasts, as he began to rub them to make you feel more aroused. 

The pain continues but JJ kisses you all over, your lips, nose and even the little tears that formed in the corner of your eyes. You securely wrap your arms around his neck as he presses his tongue to your neck. 

“Oh god.” He moans and rolls his head back at how well you were taking it. 

“I love you, Y/N.” He breathes out against your neck. The words linger into your soul as his voice makes you more relaxed. 

“Do you want me to keep going?” JJ asks, you could feel the pleasure and concern in his voice but you nodded your head. 

JJ’s eyes shut as he pressed his lips onto yours, as you gripped onto his muscles. The pain was beginning to vanish as you became more familiar with his pace. His warm breath tickled your skin causing you to grip harder onto him, the tears were certainly there but JJ managed to kiss them away.

Him keeping at a slow pace made you more infatuated with him, he respected your wishes and you loved him for that. Time slows, then stops as he moves in and out of you. The more times he thrusts, the more pleasure it brings you. 

“You're doing great baby, so great.” JJ spoke, as he planted a small kiss to your collarbone.

“I-I love you, JJ..” you whispered as you attached your lips to him as he picked up the pace which made you bite down on his lower lip.

“I-I’m going to cum.” He panted through his clenched teeth. 

“M-me too” you moaned as you picked yourself up and slowly kissed his neck, letting his juices collide with yours. Both of your hearts were beating vigorously, the sweat that formed along your forehead was a sign of accomplishment.

He chest unclenches as he pulls out, which makes you feel empty in a way. He tossed the condom off, throwing it away.

“How was it? Are you okay?” He asked, slowly wrapping the sheets over your body as he planted a small kiss to your forehead. 

“I’m okay and I liked it..” You whispered as you saw some blood on the sheets.

“Was it what you thought it would be?” He bit his lip as he didn’t want to scare you off.

“Much better. Kiara scared me a little..” You laughed, turning slowly to face him.

“How about you? I know it wasn’t what you usually do with the Tourons but with time, I can be like them.” You said, playing with his shark necklace but he immediately stopped you. 

“I-Is that why you were so scared about me touching you? Baby, you know they don’t mean anything. Just meaningless sex.” His voice saddened as he couldn’t believe that he made you that insecure.

“I’m sorry.. I just know your history and you like it rough, I was afraid you’d break up with me..” You whispered not wanting to face him. 

“Y/N.. I love you. It’s honestly a different experience with everyone… with you, it felt real and intimate. Having sex with someone you love is the best feeling because it can only get better. Please please, don’t doubt yourself or regret what you just did.” He choked out, feeling a little sad that you were feeling like this.

“I know.. I love you too JJ.” You said feeling him pushed you against his body, slowly nuzzling your head to his chest.

“Does it hurt..?” He asks as he slowly drives his hand up and down your arm.

“Just a little… I don’t think I can go on the fishing trip tomorrow..” You blushed as you kiss his tender skin.

“It’s okay, I’d rather take care of my pretty girl than catch fish.” He joked, tangling his legs with yours. 

He was about to ask you something but the soft snores coming from your lips made him smile in awe. He couldn’t believe that he finally had sex with someone he actually loved, he never did it with a virgin but he was so glad he was the one to take it. 

God knows what he would have done if someone else took it. 

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