#and i’m still so mad about it like i did everything almost perfectly all semester and i couldn’t get an A

[steviescrystals]

the last post i reblogged just reignited my rage over something that happened my freshman year of college so mini rant in the notes lol

[xpeachesncream]

lowkey (jjk) | 02.

⦿ boo’d up in the daytime

⦿ mackin’ & hangin’ in the nighttime

↳ series masterlist

summary: in order to pass organic chemistry and pay off your car damages from an accident, all you have to do is help the nerd, jeon jungkook, with a few things: pretend to be his girlfriend and teach him the ways of dating.

pairing: popular!reader x nerd!jjk

genre: college au, fake dating au, friends (with benefits?) to lovers au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.2k

warnings: cussing, implied sexual content/mature language, kissy-kissy koo, mentions of a boner, mention of sex and cum, seokjin’s still toxic

note: posting this chapter a little early since it’s butter weekend, plus the last part of liquid courage should be up sat/sun. still sticking to my schedule in my faq though, srry loves! i’ll do my best to update as soon as i can. 💗

tags: @taegularities​ @jimidol​ @miinoongi​ @bluesharksandfish​ @ggukkieland​ @unicornbabylover​ @thebeebi​ @preciouschimine​ @ladyartemesia​ @moonchild1​ @jikookiekosmos​ @marcoazz2​ @kootaes​ @wearenot7withu​ @codeinebelle​ @bigbootyjoonie​ @thisartemisnevermisses​ @maichiverse​ @ppeachyttae​ @fairysunooo​ @secretlycrazyhummingbird​ @yukiehyukie​

"I heard you were in an accident last night, babe. Are you okay? I'm so sorry I got mad at you yesterday." Seokjin comes towards you, cupping your face to look at every inch, every detail. You move away from his hold, backing up to give yourself some space.

"Seokjin, I told you to stop calling me that. Jesus. I'm fine. Don't need you to check up on me."

"Are you really gonna keep that up? I said I was sorry."

"Okay, and? I heard you."

"Really, that's it? Y/N, why are you being like this? What's the real reason?" He follows after you as you make your way to the library. To say Seokjin was persistent is an understatement— he was persistent for the wrong reasons. Like, keeping you close so he had you to fall on when things went wrong with another chick, his safety net.

"Because this is done, I don't know how many times I have to tell you. I'm tired of you doing this so, please. Just go." You slightly turn towards him as you climb up the stairs.

"I wanna work this out with you. Don't push me away. Let me help." You don't respond. He watches as you adjust your bag strap and wave at Jungkook. Seokjin chuckles and grabs your wrist gently, making Jungkook suddenly hop on defense as he balls his fists. Like he could do shit. Seokjin would probably wreck his ass with those broad shoulders.

Still. He hated how much of an asshole he was to you.

"Wait, what the fuck?" Seokjin laughs his rare, deep laugh that he uses when he's caught off guard. "You're hanging out with nerds, now?"

"And if I was, that would be none of your business." You snatch your arm away while glaring at him. You shake your head and continue walking towards Jungkook, relieved Seokjin finally left you alone today. Probably off to tell Namjoon, Yoongi and his friends how much of a bitch you've been and that you actually left him to hang out with a nerd.

Sunmi knows you're being tutored. However if that wasn't the case, she would question you, but she never take their side on shit. She remained loyal to you, and always supported you through whatever. That's why she's remained your bestfriend until this day. The senior chicks Seokjin and them hung around with though? Questionable. As long as Sunmi was by your side and you by hers, you both didn't care much for getting close to them.

"Hey, sorry you had to see that." You say as you sigh and set your bag down alongside of you on the long table.

"It's alright." Jungkook replies softly. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. Thanks." You give him a tiny, tightlipped smile. "So, should we get right into tutoring, or should we talk about the details of our deal? I have all afternoon." Luckily, it was quite loud in the loud section of the library. No one cared much to listen in to your secret deal with Jungkook, nor did anyone care because it was Jungkook.

"I do too. I guess, whatever works for you?"

"Let's get this tutoring over with first then iron out the rest." He nods.

"Sure." He pulls out his notebook. "Tell me, what are you struggling with?"

"Everything." He does a small head tilt.

"I doubt that. I'm sure you understand some things."

"No, you don't understand Jungkook. I'm legit drowning. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or where I'm lacking." Jungkook simply looks at you, lips pressed together before he nods. You're not lacking anywhere, he thinks. You're really not. The subject is just shitty and the spawn of the devil.

"That's okay. Well, can I go over some basics? Throw in some tips?"

"Yes, please. Lead the way. I need you." You chuckled, but it makes the heat rush to his cheeks. He hopes you don't catch the rosy tint creeping up on them, so he instantly grabs at the whiteboard near your table and starts to go over the very beginning, the very basics of this semester's OChem class. Maybe a bit from last semester, but last semester wasn't entirely that bad compared to this one.

He didn't expect you to be all that engaged for some reason, but he should have known you'd ask questions left and right, taking the black whiteboard marker from his hand to practice what you've learned with him watching and guiding you from your side. You were always focused, always so determined. You were incredibly smart. Incredibly beautiful.

Honestly, Jungkook go on for days.

The both of you hadn't realized it was nearing close to 5PM and neither of you had really eaten much since lunch. You sit, feeling pretty good about your first session with Jungkook. You feel a little bad having kept him for so long over OChem, realizing you still had things to iron out with him.

[sunmi] 4:34pm: hey babe, not gonna be leaving for a bit. i forgot i had to work on this psych project with jennie. you okay with leaving around 6/7?

"Crap."

"What's the matter?" Jungkook glances at you as you continue to stare at your phone and scroll away.

"Sunmi isn't leaving until later. I'll probably be stuck here for a little longer after you leave." You put your phone down, now resting your chin against your palm, nails slightly digging into your cheek.

"I-I can give you a ride, if you'd like? Plus, we still need to talk.. about stuff." He shyly says.

"Jungkook, that's too much to ask for."

"It's really not a big deal. How far do you live from campus?"

"Maybe a 10 minute drive, the next exit off the freeway." He shrugs.

"I'm going in that direction too."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. We can just talk on the way home."

"Would you be willing to stop by for dinner? We can talk then. Maybe it can be considered our 'first date.'" You joke with a small giggle.

"Oh, sure. Yeah." He gives off a tiny, nervous laugh. "Where did you have in mind?"

"Can we get.. hm—" You hum. "Fire Wings? Down the street?" He almost feels intoxicated watching how your eyes gleam under the light, how they brighten and widen when you mention food. You were cute, and you didn't even know it.

"Only if you tell me what flavors you get." He tries to get smart, which makes you laugh. He made you laugh.

"Is this judgment day? Gonna see if you should call quits on our deal before it even starts?"

"Maybe." He goes along with it.

"Okay. Garlic Parmesan and Dragon." You pack up your things before shooting him a look.

"Okay, solid flavors." He nods. "I guess we can continue on."

"You're funny." You giggle as you both throw your bags onto your backs. You stay in your position until Jungkook comes to your side so you can walk by him. You don't know much about him, but he has a soft demeanor and he makes you feel comfortable. You had only seen him a couple of times across campus, not really noticing him much in class either. You feel a little bad knowing you didn't even try being that he sat behind you, but better late than never I guess? Maybe there was a reason for all of this happening. The way he tutored you today was insane, too— he was super smart, but broke it down perfectly, was patient. He was patient.

No wonder Dr. K loved his ass.

"What about you?" You picked up the conversation.

"I usually go for a dry rub and Garlic Parmesan."

"I haven't tried any dry rubs."

"You can try one of mine later."

"Okay." You suddenly remember to shoot Sunmi a text before she comes looking for you everywhere on campus. Jungkook stays silent beside you, allowing you to do your thing without being too overbearing or nosy.

But, he honestly can't help but glance a few times.

[y/n] 5:11pm: sorry just saw this, hitching a ride with my tutor. don't worry about me! ty ily, have fun working on your project.

[sunmi] 5:13pm: tutor, as in jeon jungkook?

[y/n] 5:15pm: yeah, he offered.

[sunmi] 5:16pm: okay, that was nice of him. if he tries anything tho i'll beat his ass. text me when u get home?

[y/n] 5:17pm: don't worry about him, he won't lol i will.

[sunmi] 5:18pm: kk love u b

"Sorry." You say, tucking your phone into your pocket. "Had to text Sunmi."

"That's okay. You two are really close, right?"

"Yeah, since high school."

"Cool." At this point, Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok are coming out of the café at the same you two are passing.

"What about you, where are your friends?"

"Um." He sighs, trying to avoid his friends obnoxiously waving and calling him from the distance. You glance over from behind his figure, chuckling a little bit. "That's them."

"Cute. You all are really close, too?"

"Ya, I've known Jimin the longest though." You smile and wave at them, causing them to gasp and whisper amongst each other with huge smiles on their faces.

"I'll need to meet them if we're gonna do this thing for real. Do they know?"

"Yeah kinda."

"That's okay. We should probably work on keeping it between us though." He nods.

"Okay, but. Can we save meeting them for later? They're a bit.. much." You smile.

"Sure."

"D-do I have to meet Sunmi?" You nod.

"If you wanna make this believable, yeah."

"She's kinda scary."

"Jungkook, she's not gonna bite your head off. She just has that look, but I promise she's sweet." That look, that resting bitch face. Really, you could be biased because it's Sunmi. She really only had issues if she felt disrespected. Other than that, she meant well. Same with you— you've been accused of being intimidating and having the same look but you don't mean any harm by it.

"Okay." Jungkook unlocks his black 2016 Honda Civic and pops his bag in the trunk. You do the same, while Jungkook goes to open the passenger door for you.

"Thanks." You smile sweetly at him. He climbs into his seat, hitting the button to start the car and sighs. The music in the background starts to play, and it sounds mellow, soothing— like it came straight out of a fairytale. His eyes widen as he rushes to lower the volume before shyly looking at you.

"Sorry."

"What, no. Don't be. What is this?"

"A Final Fantasy lofi mix." He begins to drive off as you turn the volume back up.

"It's nice. Pretty relaxing."

"Ya, it's nice to listen to after a long day." He pushes his glasses up at the light.

"Do you have family here?" He nods.

"I do. My mom and dad live about an hour away. I'm the only child. What about you?"

"Same. They're probably 30 minutes up north."

"Do you live alone?"

"Yeah, I live in a studio. It's actually my coworker's. She bought the space to rent it out. She lets me rent it for pretty cheap though."

"That's nice."

"You?"

"I live with Jimin. Our parents are close."

"What about your other friends?"

"Hoseok is dorming, and Taehyung would rather live back home with his family and commute. He's close to them. He'll crash at ours or Hoseok's from time to time."

"Are you close to your family?" He nods as he turns into the plaza lot.

"I suppose, yes. I'm just really quiet overall, so they think it's hard to read me sometimes." He parks and you watch as he shuts the car off with the same button. "You?"

"Yeah, I'm really close to my mom. Dad, a little questionable."

"Why, if I may ask?" He comes to open your door again, causing you to give him a small smile.

"He, um. Just got into some stuff." He watches as your body tenses while you fiddle with your fingers waiting in line.

"It's okay, don't think about it. I won't ask again."

"It's okay, Jungkook. Really. Maybe another time?" You look up at him and he nods. He stands way taller than you, almost at Seokjin's height, if not the same. He likes to wear baggy, dark clothing and doesn't do much to fix or style his hair.

He's simple, but in a good way.

You both order your food with Jungkook going first so he can grab a table afterwards. Before he could pay though, you offer to cover him for dinner as your way of thanking him for driving you home. You make your way over to the table he snags, Jungkook silently sitting at the high table with his legs pressed together and his hands clasped tightly on his lap.

"You okay?"

"Ya, why?"

"You look tense."

"Sorry. It's not everyday I have dinner with Y/N." You smile.

"Stop, relax." You watch as he slightly eases up. "So, this deal." He nods. "A month?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"We have to convince people it's real or else people will know something weird is going on." You look at his hand, now resting on the table. "You're gonna have to hold my hand and kiss me, you know?" He swallows the lump in his throat. Shit, he thinks. Don't know if I can actually pull this off?

A kiss?! Fuck.

"Y-yeah."

"When was your last relationship, Jungkook?"

"8th grade." Your eyes widen.

"O-oh, now I see."

"What's that supposed to mean? It's terrible, I know but I—"

"No, no, no. You're good. It's totally okay, it doesn't matter. I'll just have to teach you to make it look realistic and not.. awkward." You perk up again. "Not saying that you are though, okay."

"I know."

"So, are you.."

"Am I..?" He cocks hid head to the side in confusion.

"Like.."

"Just ask Y/N."

"Are you a virgin?"

"I don't know." You furrow your brows.

"Huh?"

"Look, this is gonna sound really embarrassing and I don't know if I'm even ready to tell my fake girlfriend about it."

"Just say it. We have to know things about each other." He sighs.

"I— ugh." He groans. "I did it with my girlfriend at the time. Or I guess my ex because we had broken up and this was sometime during freshmen year in high school and she came onto me out of nowhere at a mutual friend's pool party. But it was weird because we were just hormonal kids and I was just curious so I slipped myself into her only to slip back out right after because—" He's rambling, but you're doing your best to keep up.

"Because?"

"I-I, ugh. Y/N." He shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Are you really gonna make me say it?"

"Jungkook." You lean a bit to try and catch eye contact.

"I came right away." He says just as the worker puts down your food and takes the number from your table.

"Ohhhhhhh." You say as you nod slowly. "Okay."

"You can just run now." His head hangs low as he slowly slides his chicken over in front of him, causing you to chuckle.

"I'm not going anywhere. It's okay. Stop that."

"It's pathetic."

"No. Besides, I know you'll get better overall, and you'll find someone who will rock with you till the end. We'll work on this."

"Thanks." He says, feeling comfortable around you. You were quick to reassure him and smile at him, he felt himself melting in his seat. Yeah, you were too good for Seokjin.

"You'll have to come to parties with me. Club events. Events in general. It won't look right if I'm always going without you."

"Okay. Can I bring my friends?"

"Sure." He nods. "What do you do in your free time?"

"Play video games and listen to music. Read comics, manga. Build lego sets with the guys."

"Cute." You smile.

"You?"

"Hang out with Sunmi, or just watch movies on my own at my place. Read. Eat by myself. Explore by myself. I value my alone time."

"It's nice." Jungkook's familiar with it. Even if he had his friends around, he truly liked being in his own peace when allowed. "What about outside of the public eye?"

"Hm?" You hum.

"Do we hang out?"

"Yeah we can." You nod.

"Cool." He smiles.

"Is my car gonna be a lot of work for you?"

"Don't worry about it, it'll be good soon. Just might take a bit cause I need some parts to make it look brand new again."

"I really can't thank you enough." He shrugs.

"Only trying to help my girlfriend out." He boldly says, causing you to laugh.

"Confidence is peeking through already, are you sure you need me?" You joke. The rest of the evening, you continue to talk to Jungkook about pretty surface level shit— what you like, dislike, overall experience in high school and college so far. It was a nice, harmless conversation, one where you were starting to see how warmhearted Jungkook really was. How real and laid back.

None of the shit in Seokjin's group. It was refreshing, a breath of fresh air.

Once dinner had finally finished, Jungkook was on his way to drop you off. He had parked in an empty guest spot, offering to walk you up just to be sure. At the door, he took a peek at how clean your studio was, mainly soft colors of white and cream taking over, with plants scattered around your living room area. The hallway in was sandwiched between your kitchen area and another wall, Jungkook assuming your bed was on the opposite side of it. He awkwardly stands at the door, afraid of overstepping.

"Well, goodnight Y/N. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Hey, wait." You smile and come close to him. He swallows, his mouth suddenly feeling dry when he feels your breasts press against his chest. "First lesson— give me a kiss."

"Right now?"

"Jeon Jungkook, we're doing this tomorrow. People are gonna have to see this at least once while we're together." He nods and presses a quick kiss against your cheek. "Not bad, but a little longer?" He complies and presses another kiss, leaving his pillowy lips against your cheek for a little longer before pulling away. "Perfect. Now here." You point at your lips before crossing your arms.

"Y/N, I—"

"Don't be afraid, just do it. I won't kick you in the balls or anything."

"It's not that. I just don't think I'm a great at this stuff."

"Okay." You tippytoe and gently grab his jaw while you lean towards his face. "Just relax, okay? Don't think too much of it." He stays silent, doe eyes constantly on you as you continue to inch forward.

Sparks. Just sparks everywhere for Jungkook.

He feels your soft lips against his and he relaxes, moreso because he feels like he's lost all senses being this close to you. Taking in your scent. Kissing you.

"There." He stands still, still trying to process the kiss. "Not bad. We'll get better over time, but at least that looks believable. Just—" You put his hands down as they were about to fall onto your hips during the kiss, but they fell short. "Let it happen and hold me, okay?" You smile. "Night Jungkook."

"N-night." He stutters as he watches you close the door. "Fuck." He whispers to himself when he realizes he's now sporting a boner. "Jungkook, what the fuck is this?!" He continues to whisper to himself as he waddles down your hallway.

[sofoulandfairaday]

The ultimate How I Met Your Mother Finale rant

I know this has been done before, and I know I'm several years late to the party, but I don't care, so IN THIS ESSAY I WILL tell you about why this finale takes the spot as the second-worst finale in TV show history (because Game of Thrones is still, to this day, unbeatable, and it will probably stay like that forever). 

But first, a little context: I've just finished binge-watching HIMYM. This binge has been going on for three days straight (my final exam of the semester is in a week and I should be studying, so the fact that the last few days were a partial waste of time makes me so mad). Second thing: I already knew how it would end, and yes, kids, it does ruin the show for you. It ruins the show so much it makes your blood boil when you rewatch certain scenes, but I will get to that. 

You might want to make yourself a drink because this is a complete list of all the reasons why HIMYM's finale sucks - I'm warning you, it's gonna be looong.

It completely invalidates the entirety of season 9

This is one of the complaints people most often have with this series, and I have to agree. It would have been so much better if the last two episodes never existed, and they just showed Barney and Robin dancing at the reception after walking out of the chapel, Ted noticing Tracy and then the platform scene. "And that, kids, is the story of how I met your mother". Cut scene. Honestly, I don't get the hate people give to season 9, barring the last 2/3 episodes, especially since season 8 was so much worse (except for a few honourable mentions, like The Robin). S8 was slower, less funny, and less deep, and while the authors took a risk by making s9 happen in the span of a weekend it paid off: they took their time introducing the character of the Mother to the gang and fleshing her out. They make sure to highlight all the little ways in which Ted and Tracy are perfect for each other, and even tie up loose ends, like with the Slapsgiving episode, that was a filler but it wasn't boring to watch (although it may be problematic for different reasons, I'm not Chinese, so I can't say for sure if it's cultural appropriation or just the authors making fun of a particular movie genre). 

Some episodes were arguably great: "Daisy" was amazing, and that whole fight between Marshall and Lily was so realistic and well thought out, "Sunrise" was extremely important for Ted's character development, same goes for Tracy and "How Your Mother Met Me", "Bedtime stories" was impressive, "Rally" was incredibly funny and proved once again what a beautiful character Barney Stinson is, so much so that even Robin never has doubts that he (the guy with the biggest commitment issues on the planet) will bail on her before the wedding, and says to Ted that "he always comes back". Daphne's character is super funny and the right amount of annoying, the shenanigans of the gang are well thought out and all of the characters (not just Barney) complete their arc in this season. The last two/three episodes butcher that.

Marshall and Lily

Marshall and Lily, arguably the world's most solid couple, are the only thing this God-awful finale gets right, especially Marshall, who is my second-favourite character, that finally gets everything he deserves. But what about Lily? They never mention her career after Italy, and I refuse to believe she goes back to being a kindergarten teacher as if her year in Rome meant nothing. I also refuse to think she becomes nothing but a political wife, the equivalent of Zoey, but without saving the world. We know she has three kids, but her postpartum depression is never really talked about much and they definitely had the screentime to delve into it. 

Barney

 Where do I even begin? Barney Stinson is, without a doubt, the best character in this series, the glue of the whole gang. I think the message they were trying to give is that, since his trauma stemmed from the absence of a father figure in his life, he could only truly heal by becoming a father as well. People also say that n°31 had to stay just a number, because who could match up with Barney Stinson? First of all, I call BULSHIT on that last point, because Robin wasn't the only girl Barney could have ended up marrying. I used to think that too, but it's just not true: that is the equivalent of saying that Barney was incapable to truly love a woman and commit to her, even after all the development he got, and that he only got one shot at love in life, and that's it. This goes against the point the showrunners try to make by having Ted and Robin end up together AND by having Tracy get with Ted in the first place: "it's never too late, you always have another chance at love, etc." And, let's face it, Barney and Robin are legendary, but Barney and Nora (hell, even Barney and Quinn!) were pretty good together too. 

Second of all, if they wanted to give Barney a kid, they could have easily done that, before Barney married Robin. Barney's "redemption" starts when he gets with Robin the first time, hell maybe even when we meet James for the first time: Nora, Quinn, finding out who his father is, the episode dedicated to the lies his mum told him/finding James' father, him getting to know his own dad, etc... those are all steps along the way. The s9 episode where Barney accepts the relationship between Loretta and the reverend proves how far he's come. So why not give him a daughter BEFORE he proposes to Robin? Have him cheat on Nora/Quinn with n°31, giving him a relapse, and having him get closer to Robin while struggling to be a dad to Ellie. That would have been great. 

Or, you know, don't give him children. What's the point of burning the Playbook if you're going to have him write the second edition? What's the point of having him do a complete 180 in the last few scenes and acting like having a kid is the only thing that makes him change? What's the point of doing that when the show spends entire episodes berating Marshall and Lily for "changing too much" when they have a kid?

Also, Barney is the "challenge accepted" guy. He loves his wife so much, he spent years wanting her, and then he gives up because there is no WiFi in his hotel. How does that make any sense at all? This is Barney Stinson, the "I will fly out to San Francisco and buy Lily a plane ticket", the "I will steal every girl from my best friend just to save him for Lily", the guy that wrote the Playbook (it takes effort to pull those plays off), the guy that planned for weeks his proposal, the guy that waited years to get back at the man who stole his first girlfriend, the guy that makes every night legendary... are you telling me that that guy becomes the equivalent of a bored housewife instead of living his best life while travelling the world? Come on. They don't even try to make it believable.

Ted

While watching seasons 7 and 8, I felt that Ted was becoming the worst character on the show: he was boring, depressed, basically had no good storylines, the whole thing with Victoria was pointless and inconclusive (and the whole "stop being in love with Robin" was completely out of character for her), but whatever, we could have accepted that because it passed the message that two people could be good together, without being soulmates - which, by the way, renders the TedxRobin ship pointless, because they were right for each other, but Ted and Tracy were soulmates. Him being hung up on Robin in the latter seasons is almost pathetic, and the thing he does with the locket is insane, not romantic - BUT I will say this: it can be seen in two ways, depending on who's watching. I personally like the two as friends, so I see the whole thing as a "Dahmer" situation, but I get the people who see it as a "Dobler" one and see what he did as a grand romantic gesture. 

The problem, though, is that the whole TedxRobin ship gets pretty old, pretty fast: it's an annoying on-and-off thing, that should have ended with the locket. Because, yes, Ted was in a dark moment, yes, he was probably depressed, yes, he thought Robin was his only shot at happiness, but he changes during season nine! He spends entire episodes letting go of Robin, including the one where she transforms into a balloon and flies away. Ted is the good guy, ultimately. He is the guy that is genuinely happy for his best friends. In one of the deleted scenes from the finale, he meets Robin years later and says that he's so happy with Tracy he never thought about Robin in that way anymore. All of that gets thrown in the trash. Why do that? To use a Harry Potter metaphor, Ted is Severus Snape, while Barney is James Potter: the former loved the girl of his dreams with all his heart, even to the point of creepiness, but they weren't meant to be together. 

Robin

This, along with the next point, is the worst of all: Robin is the worst character of the entire finale. Her relationship with Ted in season 2 is wonderful, and I say that as a full-on Barney/Robin shipper. There was never a problem in their relationship, apparently, but they then break up because they have an "expiration date" and ultimately want different things in life. Except that Ted is not her soulmate. The only times when Robin wants Ted are the times where (1) she can't have him because he's either trying to move on or (2) the times where it's convenient, for example when they become roommates again and they solve their disputes again. Around that time, we see perfectly that Ted had moved on and that the person getting hurt was Barney. It's one thing to see Ted and Robin in the finale as two people picking up where they had left off after they dated. But this is not the case. 

In season 7, we have the exchange that should have put an end to any and all TedxRobin drama, and that completely invalidates whatever the writers wrote after that about the two of them: Ted declares his love - "I think you know how you feel about me now. I don't think time's gonna change that. Just tell me: do you love me?" To which she answers "No". And Ted also says later to Marshall, that he's "happy because he can finally move on". 

What a load of crap. 

Getting over someone is hard, believe me, I would know. And, oftentimes, it doesn't happen until we find someone else to love (and from the moment he meets Tracy, there is no one else for Ted). But by giving Ted feelings for Robin after this moment, it takes away from the beauty of it- because it's one of the most heartbreaking feelings in the world when you declare your love to someone and they don't love you back. Ted and Robin were both honest at that moment, and it was the last genuinely good exchange between them. After that, during season 8 they try to show us Ted trying to get over her (and failing) and in season 9 Ted getting over her completely. This is also weirdly paced because at the beginning of s8 both are in happy relationships with other people and there's no jealousy (which is good, because at least they weren't toxic) and they seem just friends (when Robin leaves Nick to go see him in the middle of the night, she implies that she would do it for any of her friends), but after Ted breaks up with Veronica because of Robin everything is weirdly coated in this sort of tension between the two: first Ted loves her, but she doesn't, so when he helps her by taking her to Barney's proposal ("which means my best bro in the world has given me his blessing"). 

And, by the way, every time they try to paint Ted as the guy that comes through for Robin after this moment, they dumb down Barney's character. And still fail to make Ted a better guy than him (see: the carousel in Central Park). 

Yes, Robin and Ted have some chemistry, but it is nothing compared to what Robin and Barney have. Every time Robin is jealous of Barney, it doesn't seem like a stupid whim, just because some other child is playing with her toys (except, perhaps, during The Robin). Robin and Barney's relationship would need a whole other post, and the next time I rewatch the series I will write down all the things that make them perfect for each other, but, to me, the biggest difference between the two relationships is this: in season 6, when she's not dating either one of them, Ted accuses Robin of never making him feel needed while they were together, whereas Barney praises her for it. Those are elective affinities: that's what Barney and Robin have, and what Tracy and Ted have. 

Barney and Robin have more or less the same arc: they both get over their fear of commitment and they do that with each other. Time and time again, we are told that if they're ever going to settle down, it would only be with the other. The first time they break up is honestly so stupid, and even when they are broken up, they are the best of friends, which also makes Robin's behaviour in the finale look so stupid. The way the two of them fit together is unparalleled, both in a romantic and a platonic way. 

Think about it: Robin makes Barney a better man, while she makes Ted a worse one. 

Also, the whole point that there are different seasons in life for everything gets thrown out the window: apparently, Ted and Robin (that were a couple that ultimately worked in their young twenties) are the same people in their forties.

But that's not even the worst part. The worst part is that the two final episodes butcher Robin's arc as well: episode 23 starts with Lily saying "I want this girl to be in our lives" and we know Robin never made other friends outside of the gang, because she didn't need to, and now she walks away from everything because of fucking Ted?? This is saying "hey, Robin was only in the group for Ted, who brought her in, and now she leaves because he's not her puppy anymore". Robin was the one that was eternally indecisive between Ted and Barney and you're telling me that three years and many many life experiences later, she's still not sure? 

The point of her story is learning how to get over her fear of commitment, learning how to be there for her friends (there's an entire episode dedicated to that, and it's the one where Lily's pregnant and we meet Robin's ex-best friend in Canada), and how to balance her job and her life. Also, the way her character is treated is un-feminist and un-progressive: she becomes Ted's consolation prize. She is passive throughout s9. She cannot, ultimately, win the modern-day struggle most women have and balance out career and love life, so her true life, her "happy chapter" begins after she has already accomplished everything she wanted to and she's free for Ted. She doesn't even go back to him, she just the prize the main character wanted for all his life and only got in the end because his wife died (ONE SCENE, people, ONE SCENE!). Also, this makes Tracy the "broodmare" that gives him the kids he wanted, and his "happy family" experience before he goes to be with his one true love. 

The mother

This. This makes me so mad. One whole season spent on building up Tracy's character, just for it to go to waste. It would have been so easy to screw her up, but she is hands down the best thing about s9. She's the perfect woman for Ted and the episode shot through her perspective is the sweetest. By the end, I liked her more than Robin and Lily. She was the perfect addition to their group, she fit together with them in a perfect way, and they show us the biggest moment of her and Ted's life... for what? To have her die in a few sentences? And I don't care if they shot a funeral scene, I don't care if the finale was supposed to be 40 minutes long, because, in the end, it wasn't. The scene where Ted meets her is the second most beautiful one (after Barney's proposal to Robin) and the climax of the whole show, but they ruin her... and for what? The chemistry Ted has with her, he has with no one. The joy she brings him, the way she understands him, is unlike any other. I am sure that one of the reasons they killed her off was the shock value and I hate it. 

I cannot stress this enough: Tracy makes Ted a better person. When he's with Robin, Ted is "the nice guy" in the most selfish and narcissistic version of the trope. When he's with Tracy, love comes easy to Ted. Also, the scenes between the two of them are arguably the best Ted scenes of the show.

The kids' reactions (ugh)

It's not really what they say- it's the way they say it. The end of HIMYM was not supposed to be funny, even though the show is a sitcom. It was supposed to be bittersweet and beautiful, because it's the end of an era, and the writers must have known that. So, Ted finishes telling his story, reveals to the audience that their now-beloved Tracy is dead, and the reaction is: "No, ahah, you totally have the hots for Aunt Robin" (their words, not mine). Like, what the actual fuck? I cringed when Penny said that. It's tasteless and not fun at all. Even if it has been six years... It's still your fucking mum, show a little bit of sadness at the thought of her. 

The reason the show ended this way

What makes me especially mad is that I know for a fact that the reason they went with this ending is that it was the original one, always intended for the show, from season 2 onwards. And, if you watch it right after s2, it makes sense. But if you consider the eight years that passed and the massive character development, then no, it's not the best possible one. So many things hadn't been decided yet back in s2, especially about Barney, Ted, and Robin, and I hate that they didn't dare to scrap their work. This ending probably had sentimental meaning to the writers, but authors have to do what's best for their characters, not themselves. It's like with GoT, in a way: I think that the authors were all too aware of the impact of HIMYM and didn't believe that their finale would live up to the expectations... which compelled them to make the worst decision possible?? Every single character is OOC during the episode. Oh, and Marshall and Lily moving in the last episode is a ripoff from Friends (or maybe a tribute? Idk). Anyway, I believe that the authors were too attached to their sentimental version of "what should have been" and didn't give the characters the endings they truly deserved.

"Life works this way" // "Life only moves forward"

Some people say that the show is realistic because that's how life works. But I call super-BS on that. That might be true, and yes, people do get sick and die (Max, Marshall's dad...) and life does go on. But then, you don't frame it the way they did. It's just bad storytelling if you do it like that. And the problem is not the structure of season 9, because the characters develop in that season. The problem isn't even the mother's death. The problem is Ted ending up with Robin because that's not life moving forward for him, that's him, doing the same thing he did in 2005, 25 (twenty-fucking-five) years before! 

In conclusion, this finale is incoherent and inconclusive, and not satisfying at all. The only character that gets a good ending is Marshall: why is that? What makes his ending great? It's the fact that his character arc is respected and he finally gets what he's been working towards for more than ten years.

[rommahh]

I Carry It In My Heart

Word count: 4.7k

I thank everyone who read part one, it meant so much to me to see the love it got. Heres part two, please comment, like reblog, whatever I just wanna hear your thoughts! I also plan on making smaller blurbs of this universe with fratrry. I have plans for a graduation, wedding, babies, and other random blurbs of their lives. Much love, R.

Part One

Y/N’s drive home was quiet. She drove the whole six hours just listening to her thoughts. Thinking about the future of a relationship she had so much hope for. She wanted this relationship so much and seeing Harry before leaving campus reassured her that maybe just maybe, Harry wanted what she wanted too.

Six hours went by and Y/N finally arrived home. She lived on a very secluded farm with her mom, dad, grandparents, uncles/aunts, and cousins. Everyone lived along the property making the family tight knit. She was scared to reveal to her family that she wasn't with Harry anymore. He grew to be a very important part of the family. Everyone saw how beautiful Harry and Y/N’s relationship was. They could see how close they were and how they just shared a really unique connection with each other.

Getting out of her car, Y/N took a moment to stretch her legs before she was bombarded by her family. Hands were pulling her into hugs, kisses were being planted on her cheek- she never felt more loved in her life. She didn't realize she was crying until her mom held her face between her hands wiping the free flowing tears from the young girl's face. The family left the mother and daughter alone to reconnect.

“What is wrong with my baby?” Her mother cradled her face as she sobs.

“Mommy, we broke up. Me and Harry broke up and- and i'm exhausted from exams, and i'm so hungry!” Y/N’s hysterics caused her mom to chuckle. She helped grab Y/N’s belongings from the trunk and then led the girl into the house. As Y/N wiped the tears from her face she hiccuped trying to catch her breath.

With her bags in her room, Y/N sat at the kitchen table as her mom placed a bowl of chilli in front of her. Her mom sat beside her rubbing her back encouraging her to eat and regain some energy.

“Tell me what happened hon?”

“We got in a really bad fight after he kissed another girl. He basically said that I was overreacting. I tried to tell him that my reaction was merely based on how I feel about our future relationship. He laughed at me and said he wasn't thinking about the future of our relationship. Tha-” She choked up again “-that this wasn't a future he wanted.” Y/N sniffled into her food as her mom guided food into her mouth.

“It's ok hon. Let me tell you something, you and Harry will be fine. It may seem like this is the end but it's not. You will get through this because you guys were made for each other. From the way that you guys know each other's thoughts to the way that you both can read each other with no problem- you two were meant to be. Me and your pa went through our own issues but look at us now. We are solid. Baby, you two will be solid.” Y/N’s mom smoothed the hair on her daughter's head smiling at the young girl.

Y/N thought about her mothers words. Hearing her mom say those things about her relationship made her feel a little better. Her mother kissed her on the forehead and told her to get to bed and get some rest.

Y/N walked into her room and immediately her eyes were drawn to the gift Harry got her. She didn't remember bringing it in her room but there it sat in all of its glory. The gold wrapping paper on the box contrasted with the dark wood of her dresser. The envelope adorned with Harry's name written in cursive.

She was tempted to open the gift but at the same time she couldn't bring herself to even touch the gift. She kept thinking about the moment she shared with Harry in the parking lot. How he made time to see her before she left. How he found time to get her a gift and bring it to her. She grabbed the gift, shoving it into the top drawer of the dresser.

As Y/N lied in her bed that night, wrapped in a blanket Harry bought her, she couldn't run her mind off. She wanted to be with Harry but she was scared of his lack of commitment. She doesn't understand his sudden lack of commitment. She mentioned marrying him in the future and he freaked out on her. It hurt to know that in a quick second, he could change his mind.

Closing her eyes she went to sleep thinking about her brown haired, green eyed boy whose heart she carries with her at all times.

Y/N felt better to be back home on the farm. This semester had mentally drained her to the point where she felt like she had nothing within herself to give. She sat in the barn behind the house watching the chickens run around as she remembered the first time Harry visited the farm.

“No Harry, you just grab them from underneath. Like cup your hands and grab!” Y/N hollered to her boyfriend as he chased chickens around trying to grab them. He couldnt get his hands on a chicken but hearing his girlfriend laughing made it all worth it. Here he was dressed in overalls while chasing chickens.

“Bubs, I cant get one.” He pouted walking back over to Y/N.

“You don't have the talent I have.” She walked over to a resting chicken and grabbed it with ease. Tucking the chicken under her arm, she scratched the top of the chicken's head and walked over to where Harry was standing in shock.

“You are something else!” She set the chicken down, watching it run away. Harry grabbed her arm, twirling her around to face him. She placed her arms atop his shoulders, fingers playing with the small curls of his head. His arms wrapped around her waist squeezing her close to him.

It was a beautiful morning on the farm. Fall break on full blast and instead of Harry going back home, he just decided to come see where his girlfriend lives. They were sophomores now, entering almost a year of dating. This had been one the best almost years of their lives.

Harry placed a gentle kiss on her plush lips. She smiled, kissing him back.

“I love you Harry.” She said, staring at his eyes. His eyes opened wide. He stepped back from her and then started jumping up and down out of happiness. He threw her over his shoulder and started running through the blades of grass like the chickens he was trying to catch earlier. Setting her down on her feet she giggled at his antics.

“I cant believe you just said that. Im so fucking in love with you. So in love.” He said squishing her cheeks together, puckering her lips and smacking a wet kiss on her mouth.

“Ew Harry gross.” she giggled as he continued to place wet slobbery kisses over her face.

Y/N was so happy to bring Harry home. She wanted to show her family this new boy that had completely captivated her heart. He fit in with her family perfectly, making jokes, helping with dinner, playing with the little ones. He was family.

Walking into the house, she was greeted with the familiar smell of her grandma's famous peach crumble. She went into the kitchen sitting at one the stools watching her grandmother whip around the kitchen baking a slew of desserts.

“Hey lovebug, you go out and see your chickies?” Her grandmother asked, never losing focus of what she was doing.

“I did, they are all growing up so quick.” Y/N laid her head down on the table staring out of the window. Head fuzzy with anxiety and muddled thoughts.

“What happened to Harry?” Y/N’s head popped off of the table as she looked at her grandmother in confusion.

“How did you know something was up?”

“You're my grandbaby, I know everything about you. You've also been moping around my house so I knew something had happened.” She took a bowl down from the cabinets scooping a hot piece of peach crumble in the bowl and placed it in front of Y/N.

“Yeah, me and Harry split up. We just had a bad fight that put us in a weird place. He cheated on me.” She scooped crumble into her mouth trying to distract herself from her sadness.

“Oh love bug. I'm really sorry about that. Did you guys talk at all?” Placing a pie in the oven, her grandmother took a seat next to Y/N stealing a bite of crumble.

“He actually said goodbye to me before I came home. He gave me a Christmas gift too. I don't know, we didn't really say much. I miss him though. He was drunk when he cheated on me, which isn't an excuse but I think he was taken advantage of. I'm not mad about him cheating on me. I was mad at how he reacted to me. Like I was in the wrong for thinking about our relationship in the long run.”

“I understand. Can I be honest with you?” Crumble gone now, Y/N turned her body to face her grandmother. She shook her head to say yes. “You and Harry will be ok. It feels like the end right now but it isn't. It really isn't. I watched you two all of that one break and I saw a resilient couple who were going to go so far. This bump in the road can be fixed. Baby that boy looks at you like you are the whole universe.” You blushed at her words.

“What do I do then?”

“Well, I think you guys should enjoy this break. Take the time to reflect on what your relationship was and what it could be. Harrys going to go home and be surrounded by family as you are now, just let yourself enjoy that time. When he comes back for school, meet up again and talk. You both are adults- you know what to do.” You took in your grandmother's words. She always knew what to say.

“Why is it that you and mom always give me advice over food?” You laughed as she winked at you kissing you on the cheek.

“Food always makes people listen.”

When Wednesday finally arrived, Harry couldn't have been happier to go home. He had been on campus all alone and just feeling like shit. Maybe it was karma for how he treated Y/N. His heart felt hollow and even though he saw her before she left campus, he knew they still weren't ok. He wanted nothing more than to just be ok with his girl. The girl who makes him feel happiest on his darkest days. He doesn't understand how he would have ruined something so perfect.

At his gate at the airport, Harry sat staring at his phone waiting for something. He didn't know what he was waiting for. He didn't deserve anything, especially because of how bad he messed up. He didn't plan on seeing Y/N last friday before she left but he didn't want to go home without seeing her face. He also spent all night writing her a letter that laid down his thoughts. He also wanted to give her a gift. He bought it at the beginning of the semester back home. He knew it was perfect for her the second he saw it.

“Welcome to British Airways, we are now boarding all priority passengers.”

Harry stood up collecting his carry on and started walking to the line forming in front of the gate. He checked his phone again. Nothing.

As the line moved forward. He checked again. Nothing.

He scanned his ticket. Checked again. Nothing.

Situating himself in his seat on the airplane, Harry didn't even bother checking his phone knowing nothing was there. He clicked his seatbelt over his lap and opened the window beside him to look outside.

His phone buzzing pulled him out of his thoughts. His breath hitched, heart lurching. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he turned the screen on.

To: Harry, from: Bubs<3

Have a safe flight Harry

Harry's eyes welled with tears.

To: Bubs<3, from: Harry

Thank you, love. It means a lot.

To: Harry, from: Bubs<3

I miss you Harry

A few of those tears tipped over the edge now rolling down his face.

To: Bubs<3, from: Harry

I miss you so much baby

And that was it. But that was all Harry needed to feel something again.

Y/N didn't know what compelled her to text Harry. She knows her grandmother told her to take some time but she just wanted to reach out to him. She wanted him to know that she was still here. She was still thinking of him and still wanted this. Whatever ‘this’ was.

Christmas eve came quickly, Y/N’s house filled with family members, food, and little children running around wreaking havoc. Y/N was sitting in her room staring at the drawer where the gift from Harry hid. She was scared to open it. Pushing that fear to the side, she walked over the drawer opening it and grabbing the box and envelope. She put the gift in her purse before grabbing her keys. She couldn't open the gift here. She needed to go somewhere quiet.

She said a quick goodbye to her parents and left the house in a hurry. She found herself parked at a small store's parking lot a few miles away from her house. She kept the car on for the heat but turned off the christmas tunes she had playing low in the background.

She opened her purse to pull the envelope out. Carefully ripping the top of the envelope she pulled out a stack of items. In the envelope were four photos and a handwritten letter. She saved the letter for last.

The first photo was of Harry and Y/N sitting on a bean bag in the library. Harry had the camera outstretched above their heads, Y/N with her face buried in a text book. This was taken in their first year during their first exam week. They were not exclusive yet but their friends knew how close they were- there was no one coming between the two of them. Y/N had been so stressed that week so Harry invited her to the library to eat lunch and study together. He helped her through some science homework which helped dramatically on her exam.

The second image was of Harry and Y/N at their favorite restaurant off campus. It was taken during their sophomore year during their one year anniversary. It was the week before spring break and they had just finished a round of midterms. Harry surprised her with a trip to her favorite restaurant. The waiter offered to take the picture because of how adorable the couple looked. In the picture they were holding hands, smiling wide to the camera. Y/N eyes welled up at how happy they looked together.

The third pic was taken during an event on campus at the end of their freshman year. It was a piece and love festival where different clubs hosted fun activities in hopes of promoting unity on campus. In the picture, Harry and Y/N were holding up braided string bracelets with beads that said their partners name. They always wore those bracelets after that day. Y/N looked down at the slightly faded bracelet on her wrist. Harrys name on her wrist reminding her that he is always with her no matter what. Cheesy as it may be but the cheap string with plastic was something she would never part with.

The last picture was taken on Y/N’s farm. It was by the barn where Harry and Y/N were chasing chickens. It was taken from a high angle from afar. Harry had her on his shoulder and they were both visibly laughing. They had matching overalls with embroidery done by Y/N's aunt. On the back of the picture, Y/N could recognize Harry's handwriting as it said, “Your Grandma emailed me this picture when we got back to campus. She said that she couldn't help but take the picture when she saw how happy you looked.” Y/N laughed at his sloppy handwriting and her grandmother's words.

The last piece of the envelope was the letter. Y/N slowly unraveled the folded paper, smoothing out the crinkles. Taking a deep breath she began reading.

Y/N,

In my eyes, our future is filled with love. I see us buying a small house in your home town because I know you love home. I know you also said you may want to live in a city so if our plans were to change, I could see us living in a small apartment, decorated by you of course, with bookshelves that towered to the ceiling and many plush blankets littering the rooms. I see us working hard during the day and enjoying each other during the evening when we come home. I see bubble baths and fun new dinner recipes. I see me bringing you flowers to brighten your day from a long day of work. I see us travelling to all of the places you have pinned on your “for the future” pinterest board. I see us having a small wedding, my family, your family, some friends and that's it. I'd let you do whatever you like for the wedding because I want to see you happy.

I see little ones. Direct copies of you and me running around in the backyard as we try chasing them and tickling them. I see bedtime stories and fun days at the park. Picnics in the meadow and swimming in the lake. Catching chickens and rough housing with the goats. Pasta sauce around the mouth after a good meal. Frozen yogurt with all of the toppings. I see everything with you. There's not a moment where I don't see us together. I think about our graduation and where we will be after graduation.

I see a future with you and I was an ass to say otherwise. You are everything to me. I should be doing more for our relationship like I used to. I want to take you out on more dates and shower you in gifts because you deserve it. I love you so much. Please don't give up on me and all of the memories we've created. I want it all with you.

School has been hurting me pretty bad and I took it out on you. I cheated on you because I was too drunk to think properly. I hurt the only person whose opinion I hold higher than anyone else's. We built a beautiful relationship of trust and boundaries and I ruined it for no reason. I want to do better. Please let me show you that I can do better.

I found this poem that reminded me of you. I know you like poems and this poem speaks for me wholly.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in

my heart) i am never without it (anywhere

i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want

no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Have a lovely break and I hope to be able to see you after.

Love Harry.

His letter left the girl speechless. He said everything she wanted to hear. Looking at her phone she checked the time.

7:36 pm

Its about 12 am in london.

Without a second thought she opened Harry's facetime profile and pressed the call button.

Ring. Ring. Ri-

“Love? Are you alright? Did something happen?” Harry was quick to answer, looking half awake and flustered. Y/N broke down in tears immediately. “Y/N are you ok, baby?”

“Harry.” She wailed. It was embarrassing but all of the pent emotion she was holding in finally breached. She couldn't stop crying. Harry sat up from his laying down position in bed holding the phone closer to his face to inspect his girl.

“It's ok bubs, whatever it is, it's ok. I promise it's ok.” Harry tries consoling the girl. Her tears reduced to small sniffles.

“I read your letter Harry. It's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I want it all with you too. I've always wanted it with you. Since the day we met Harry.” He let out a watery laugh so overwhelmed with emotions. She wiped her face of tears looking back at the letter next to her.

“Y/N I love you so much. I do. I know I'm not that good at expressing my emotions but I do want a future with you. I'm hurting knowing I hurt the best thing that's ever happened to me.” His tears continued to flow freely.

“It's ok Harry. I'm not mad anymore. I'm not hurt either I promise. I think I was more upset that we were done. I don't want us to be done. I really don't.”

“I don't want us to be done either. I really want to marry you. Maybe not right now but in time I wanna get married.” He paused, wiping his face. “I wanna get married on your farm, maybe put the chickies in little tuxedos.” She giggled at his proposition.

“They would hate you even more if you did that.” They shared a laugh and then some silence. “I guess it's technically Christmas over there huh? Well Merry Christmas H.”

“It is christmas isn't it? Merry Christmas bubs. Did you open the box?” She grabbed the box next to her to show Harry shaking her head. She unwrapped the paper and revealed a box with a logo she wasn't familiar with.

“What's this?” He encouraged her to keep opening the gift. Lifting the top of the box she let out a loud gasp upon seeing a beautiful gold bracelet sitting on a satin pillow. She placed her phone on the phone stand on her dashboard so she could have both hands to look at the bracelet. The bracelet was gold and thin with a nameplate in the middle. Engraved on the nameplate was Harry's name.

“You went silent on me...Do you like it?” Y/N couldn't stop looking at the bracelet in her hand.

“Harry...It's gorgeous. It's so gorgeous.” She whispered. She slid the perfectly fit bracelet on her hand watching it fall in front of her handmade bracelet. The two bracelets adorned her wrist perfectly. “I love you so much H.”

“I love you too, I do. I can't wait to see you in person and talk.” He replies with his heart clenching in a good way, watching his girl smile happily at her gift.

“Om bubby, I'll let you go to sleep. I love you, spend time with your family and then come back to me as the same Harry I fell in love with.” He smiled, whispering goodnight and hanging up.

Going home that night, Y/N’s family watched her come back into the house walking lighter on her feet and looking happier than she did when she came home from school. She showed her bracelet off to her parents as her grandmother made her a plate of food. She smiled at everyone and talked the whole night. Her grandmother watched from afar feeling her heart fill with joy at her granddaughter's happiness.

As Christmas break went on Harry and Y/N continued to keep their relationship moving slowly. Only calling each other once a day and giving each the much needed space to heal with their respective family. Y/N facetimed him on christmas giving him a youtuber esq. Haul of all of her gifts while he laughed at her silliness. He did the same thing with half the enthusiasm.

As move in day approached, Y/N felt herself becoming worried about her relationship. She worried that when she saw Harry, their relationship would slowly deteriorate. Little did she know that she had no reason to be so afraid. Harry was on his flight back to school ready to hug and hold his girl. He was ready to reunite and be the couple they used to be. He was ready to be a better partner for his girl.

“Alright girly, looks like we got everything squished in your car. Are you sure you've got everything?” Y/N’s mom asked sarcastically. Y/N huffed shoving another bag in the passenger seat.

“Yup that should be it.”

“Ok, well you give me a hug and get going.” Y/N rushed into her mom's arms. Her mom kissed her on the forehead and left Y/N and her grandmother to talk on their own.

“Bye grandma, i'm going to miss you.” Her grandmother held her arms tight.

“You get back to campus and see that boy ok? You go and be in love. You too are old enough to know what you want and this relationship is something you obviously both want.”

Kissing her grandma goodbye, she got in her car and started her drive back to school.

It only took Y/N one trip from her car to her dorm to unload all of her belongings. She was able to snag one of the big trolleys to push her things inside. She watched as friends reunited, she even said hi to a few of her friends but her mind was set on one person. She grabbed her wallet and phone from her dorm and left quickly on a journey to get to Harry’s frat.

The air was cool but Y/N felt warm from how quickly she was booking it to Harry. Harry, just like Y/N, immediately left his room to see Y/N. Having not seen her in a month and some of exam week- he couldn't wait to see her. Harry saw Y/N’s familiar face walking down the sidewalk of his frat and he stopped in his tracks. She smiled her bright, beautiful smile before running over to where he stood. Her arms hooked around his neck as his arms adjusted around her waist. He stumbled a bit from the force of her hug but stood his ground nonetheless.

She held him tight, legs bound around his waist, a few stray tears falling from her eyes. He held her just as tightly, hands tightly holding her thighs and back.

“Hi bubby.” She said in his ear, face burrowed in his neck. He set her down and reached for her face.

‘Hi baby.” She blushed at his nickname. They looked into each other's eyes and time froze like it always did between them. Y/N broke theri moment by pulling his face to hers. They kissed like they hadnt kissed in years. To them the time they spent away from each other felt like years. Their lips fit together like puzzle pieces. Pulling apart, Harry stared down at his heart, tears begging to be free. He opened his mouth to say something and she stopped him.

“It's ok Harry. My baby, it's ok. We are ok.”

i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want

no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

Taglist: marlananicole17

[after-witch]

Big City (Yandere Shigaraki x Reader)

Title: Big City [Yandere Shigaraki x Reader]

Synopsis: You’re about to leave for a new university in a new city in a new country. Your friend doesn’t seem pleased. You agree to meet up before you leave in the hopes of keeping your friendship alive.

For request: hi can I request one with maybe yandere dabi or shigaraki (upto you) with a darling who almost barks at them when they get kindapped cause they were about to get into their dream college and were about to fulfill their lifelong dream and now because of the situation its ruined. Like they worked so hard all their life for it. How would they react?

Word Count: 2000-ish

notes: yandere, kidnapping

You mindlessly check your messages for what feels like the tenth time in the last hour, despite knowing what you'd find: no response from Tomura. It was... unusual. A little worrying. But mostly, it was frustrating. You had too much on your plate to deal with managing his moods right now, or managing anything but arranging your flight and your luggage and confirming your schedule for the upcoming university semester.

To say that Tomura had been unusually quiet and unresponsive since you gave him the news would be an understatement. You didn't think it would matter that much. Your friendship was purely online, anyway; he'd shut down the idea of meeting in person, saying he was too shy about his appearance. But you didn't mind. 

You gamed, you texted, you send each other screenshots of people saying ridiculous things online. You talked over the phone about, well, everything. Truthfully, he was your closest friend, though that wasn't saying much. Your family wasn't in the picture, and you found it hard to get close to anyone, found it hard to open up to others.

So when you immediately called him after reading your acceptance letter, gushing about the news, his lack of a response was... deflating. But, you chalked it up to Tomura being... Tomura. Sometimes he got moody or seemed to get annoyed by ordinary things. He gave you a 2-day silent treatment for boasting about getting the autograph of your favorite hero. But you had learned how to navigate his moods for the most part, but it was hard to manage anything when he wouldn't even respond.

You're about to close the app when a message suddenly pops up:

Hey. Sry I haven't been talking. Kind of going through stuff. Since your leaving.... can we meet in person before you go? Just lunch. I'll pay. (Maybe)

Your fingers shake a little above the screen. A first meeting? Now? Right before you leave? You think back to your late night gaming sessions, your conversations, the closeness you feel between you and think--why not?

*You're And...  yes. (NOT MAYBE) Where do you want to go?

**

You lean your back against the brick of the shopping complex and pull out your phone. Tomura had named the time, the place--and asked if you could meet up behind the complex where it would be empty. You agreed, of course. You know that he's shy. Maybe he wanted to meet you without crowds around first. He's a few minutes late so you pull up your messages, thumbing through them without much thought. You're bored. You switch over to your email and recheck your flight schedule, the gate times, the rules and luggage limitations. You've read them a thousand times but each reread brings you closer to a much longed-for reality: an overseas university with a stellar reputation and a practical guarantee of a job in the field after graduation. Sometimes you could hardly believe it.

You're contemplating taking a selfie when a voice suddenly speaks from behind you, distinct and firm.

"Finally."

Before you can turn, before you can think, you feel a sudden grip on your arm--and everything goes black.

**

You wake up some time later. Your head feels fuzzy, your vision slightly off, like you've been napping too hard. Maybe you have, you think, as your vision clears. But you're not in your stripped down bed in your packed-up apartment. 

You blink and blink and take in a bedroom that you've never seen. It's messy, wrappers, cans, paper plates strewn about. The air smells stale. You look down and realize you're sitting on a mattress on the floor. Your hand slips into your pocket for your phone, but it’s not there. Shit. 

Your back is pressed up against the wall which is perfectly fine, because it's then that you see someone sitting on the other end of the mattress.

You jerk back with a start, but there's nowhere to go. The person--a man, you quickly note--is sitting with their legs crossed. Their face is obscured by a dark hoodie and messy hair and you don't even think before you shout out the first words which spring to mind:

"What the fuck?"

The figure gives a chuckle, dry and short. "Sorry. Had to do it this way. Guess you're not used to Kurogiri's quirk, huh."

His voice makes you feel strange. It sounds familiar. It's something you've heard before. On TV, maybe or--oh. Oh.

"Tomura?" The query comes out high-pitched, almost whining. You're in disbelief. It has to be--

Tomura, and his reaction seals it, it definitely is Tomura, practically giggles as he breaths out a sigh. It's an odd sound coming from an imposing figure, but is it really an imposing figure if it's your friend?

He raises his face and the hoodie shifts downward. Your eyes are drawn to his lips, chapped and a bit scabbed over. You want to cringe when he pulls his lower lip back to bite on some of the dry skin.

"Tomura," you say, letting out shaky breaths of your own as the reality of where you are and what's going on begins to seep in, "Tomura, what’s going on? Did I pass out in the parking lot?" He brought you here, maybe. Maybe the blackness was you blacking out and hitting the pavement and that's why your head feels funny and Tomura just brought you to his house because he's so shy that he didn't want to get the attention of the staff at the shop or the police or any random passerby on the street who for some reason didn’t see him dragging you along or--

Your thoughts still race as he snorts. He relaxes a little, his shoulders slumping as he scooches a little closer on the mattress.

"You seriously don't recognize my face?"

You feel your own face scrunch in confusion. Of course you don't recognize his face. Tomura never sent you pictures. He said he was too shy. And, you don't mean to be mean, but you can kind of see why, because--oh. Oh fuck. Oh fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

You get it. And he gets that you get it, because he's got this sort of sour smirk on his face as you inwardly ask yourself what in the flying fuck was going on with your life if a notorious villain secretly befriended you then kidnapped you then brought you to his bedroom of all places.

"I don't..." The fuzzy feeling is back as your neck begins to ache and you swear a migraine is coming on. "I don't..." You don't finish, you can't finish.

"You don't what," he spits out, annoyed and frustrated and whereas before his frustration was something for you to manage and recede with silly pictures or playful chiding, for the first time it makes you nervous and you shrink your shoulders in.

"I don't--I'm not," you finally say, you finally do spit out, "I'm not anyone important. I don't know if you're looking for a ransom or... whatever it is you want, but you know I don't have anyone who will pay it."

He scratches at his scalp and sighs, and you recognize in the tone that he's calmed down, somewhat. At least you have that going for you, sitting in the apparent bedroom of a villain. Speaking of--you eye his hands. He follows your look and shoves them in his pockets before speaking.

"You were leaving." He looks away and itches his cheek. "Going to some fancy foreign school. What would you even need that shit for, anyway?"

You stare at him. This feels like a conversation that could have been had, say... over text, not after kidnapping you from behind a cafe.

"It's my dream. I told you about it all the time. I worked my ass off to get a spot at that school."

The numbness of anxiety has begin to edge away and you cross your arms. You don't want to look scared. Or mad. You try to look normal, you try to think normally, because if there's any way you're going to get out of this situation, you have to remain calm. 

You try to imagine that it's 3 am and you're talking on the phone, having an argument, a testy patch of friendship. But it's hard to ignore that he's a villain who brought you here for some unknown reason; a villain who got you to trust him (but why?) and talk to him (but why?) and fuck, how many private things had you told him in the middle of the night? So many texts and emails and late night conversations.

It suddenly dawns on you that you don't know how long you were out. You have a plane to catch and luggage to finish and you're here instead. You take a breath in the hopes of further steadying your nerves. You look at Tomura, who has been watching you for the past minute with an impassive, hard-to-reach expression. 

He doesn't seem to be... threatening. He didn't try to hurt you or threaten to hurt you. Maybe, maybe this was a case of... you know how things can be online. How people can get obsessively attached. Maybe he thought you were dating. Maybe he had a crush and didn't express it and years of isolation made it impossible for him to just y'know, talk to you like a normal person. He's awkward and shy and inappropriate and okay, okay, okay. You can work with this.  You've had your fair share of online... situations. Like most people. You just have to deal with them with delicacy.

You breathe. You smile, a little. And you scooch just a bit closer to Tomura, whose eyes widen in surprise at your movements.

"So... Tomura?" Your voice is soft and placating and oh so very chill. The kind of voice you've used with him before, when he was being a grumpy ass-hat pissed off about losing to you in his favorite game.

"Yeah--Yeah?" He says, clearing his throat. You want to smile harder because you think oh, good, I've got him here.

You mimic his earlier movement and give your hair a little ruffle, a little scratch. "I guess we can just order delivery for lunch, huh? I have to be home by eight, so I can get my stuff together for my flight tomorrow." You give your lip a little gnaw, in a gesture that probably felt cuter in concept than execution. "Oh! Since I can stay a little later, we can totally game while we eat, right? I owe you a rematch for last time."

Saying all this, being so sweet and kind, acting like nothing has changed, feels really, really surreal. But you push through it because the best course of action with guys like these is to placate them and get them to let you go on your way, then ghost like hell once you're out of their reach. And what better way to ghost than to move to a completely different country?

He stares at you for a moment. You think he must have been expecting you to cry or yell or scream or call him a creeper. Which he probably is, but he doesn't need to know that you think that. At least not until you're safe. You see a quirk of a smile before he flat out begins to laugh. It's a hard laugh, a wheezing laugh, one that has him slapping his thigh. Your skin feels light and numb and your body begins to shake a little in uncertainty and anxiety and just a bit  of anger.

And you can't help it, you have a mouth, you really do--

"What the hell is so funny!"

His laugh tapers off and he wipes a bit of drool from his lips (ew) before regarding you with an expression that seems wild and strange and definitely not the response you were expecting.

"Why would you need to catch a flight? You're not going anywhere."

His answer sends an instant ice-cold knot to your stomach. You huff out a breath. Maybe you can still salvage this, maybe.

“C’mon, Tomura.” Keep saying his name, you think. These types of people like it when you acknowledge them. “Don’t be silly. We’ll still talk and game everyday like we always do, and--”

Before you can think he’s suddenly right up against you, his arm pressed up practically against your ear as he looms over you, keeping you pinned to the wall. His eyes look manic and he’s smiling and it’s not a nice smile, but one full of hidden intentions that make your stomach drop and drop and drop.

“Don’t worry. We are going to talk and game everyday. As long as you’re good, anyway.”

You ignore the implications in his words--what does he mean good?--and try to argue, try to reason.

“But… the school… my degree…” You look up so you can blink away tears. You hate crying. “You know what it means to me. It’s my dream,” you whisper. He’s supposed to be your friend, why can’t he see that?

You instinctively begin to shake as you feel a finger pet your cheek. It’s supposed to be soothing, you think, but all you feel is icy anxiety and fear overtaking your nerves. He practically coos at you as he continues, his rough knuckle scratching you.

“Don’t worry. You can always think of a new dream.”

[softyoongiionly]

Can I Make a Mess Now?

Jungkook’s never had sex before but, after realizing that he’s falling in love with you, he thinks he wants that to change.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Virgin! Jungkook, established relationship au, college au, smut, fluff.

Word Count: 4.8k

A/N: This is a part 2 to Will You Make a Mess Now? Please please please let me know what you think! Love you

Warnings: smut, language, 18+ only please.

Winter break never lasts long enough does it?

A few short weeks of bliss and then-

BOOM.

You’re forced out of the warm and lazy cocoon of holiday spirit and, back into the rigidity of modern education.

It’s not that you don’t enjoy your studies, it’s just that after nearly four years of exams and, group projects that never go exactly as planned; you are starting to feel burnt out.

It also doesn’t help that you spent the majority of your winter break sleeping over at your boyfriends house.

You got used to the weight of his head on your chest.

You got used to running your fingers through his hair; an act that lulled both of you to sleep.

You got used to waking up beside him every morning.

When the semester started once again, the two of you agreed that you’d reserve overnight stays to weekends only.

As encouraging as you were of each other’s success, copious amounts of alone time is a (delightful) distraction.

Especially since the two of you began exploring the boundaries of your relationship.

At the beginning of winter break, Jungkook had revealed to you that not only was he a virgin but, he’s never been touched before.

After a bit of discussion, he decided that he wanted you to change that.

And boy did you…

You still can’t get the images of him falling apart beneath the firm grasp of your hand out of your head.

It’s arguably one of the best things you’ve ever seen.

Jungkook’s room became the safe haven for exploration.

Many cold nights were spent underneath his duvet, touching on each other until things eventually got heated enough for you to take turns making eachother cum.

Happy Holidays indeed.

There was one night in particular that things got a little out of hand.

In the heat of the moment, Jungkook had torn off your t-shirt, leaving the two of you to make out in your underwear.

He positioned you on his lap with a low whine in his throat and, at the feeling of your heat pressing directly into his dick; he almost lost it right then and there.

It took everything in him to keep his hands steady.

To keep them from ripping your panties off…

However, he succeeded and although, it was painful to slow things down, he knew it was the right thing to do.

The only problem is, that night increased his desire to a level he’s never felt before.

He knows he wants you to be his first but; he’s so particular and, so sensitive to his surroundings that he wants to make sure everything is perfect.

Perfection is a concept he frequently struggles with and, although he’s lessened his standards over the years, he still finds himself reverting back to his old habits.

Losing his virginity is a big deal for him.

He can’t help that.

And because it carries so much weight, he feels the need to hold off until the moment is 100% right.

But, how does he define such a thing?

He knows he wants you.

He knows you want him.

He knows he’s falling in love with you…

So, how is a perfect moment established?

Can you plan it?

Jungkook doesn’t know but, he’s starting to believe that he can’t.

His brothers don’t understand his issues.

Seokjin’s been with his girlfriend for two years and, every time she comes to visit, he can hear her moaning through his bedroom door.

An event that continuously scars him.

Namjoon is engrossed in his studies so, he doesn’t make time for relationships.

But one time, when he was looking for his laptop, Jungkook walked in on him getting his dick sucked.

He’s still never gotten that image out of his head.

Hoseok literally attended an orgy two months ago.

Jimin’s dating his childhood sweetheart.

Taehyung stays over at the sorority house at least twice a week.

And, last but not least, Yoongi frequently walks around sporting various love bites and scratch marks after a night with his girlfriend.

Jungkook’s spoken with his hyungs’ regarding sex a few times but, it’s never a conversation he initiates.

He’s far too shy to openly speak about these things.

But from what he’s gathered, sex is top notch.

None of his brothers could think of anything that feels as good, although Yoongi did cite sleeping as a close second.

After a long week of lectures and tedious lab work, Jungkook has finally decided that he wants to lose his virginity.

Or at least…he’s ready to talk about it…

He starts off guns a blazing: he sends you a text trying to appear nonchalant despite the fact that his heart is currently pounding in his chest.

Jungkook: do you want to come over tonight? 

Jungkook: there’s a new season of that anime we started watching :)

His message does the same bit of damage on your heart because, although you two have been dating for quite some time, you still get excited at the thought of seeing him.

You: plzzz

You: this first week has killed me

You: I need to relax so bad

You: my brain cell count has dropped to dangerously low amount.

Jungkook chuckles to himself, shaking his head at your response.

Jungkook: wow

Jungkook: lower than normal???

Jungkook: that’s pretty bad jagi :/

You giggle, already gathering your toothbrush and, various other items needed for an overnight stay.

You:  I know

You: it’s a tragedy : (

Despite the playful banter between the two of you, Jungkook is furiously moving around his room, cleaning every inch of it.

He’s dusting the shelves, vacuuming his floor, rearranging his figurines on his desk.

He feels like a mad man…

Jungkook: lol you’re ridiculous

Jungkook: you can come over around 7 if you’re ready; I’m just finishing up an assignment.

Jungkook: miss you <3

Your boyfriend is literally sour patch kid.

You: miss you too 

You: falling asleep without you sucks

You: 10/10 would not recommend

Jungkook smiles, gripping his phone in his hand, a flurry of emotions stirring in his stomach.

Jesus, he really likes you…

Jungkook: stay the night then

Jungkook: I’ll make sure you sleep better tonight

He feels proud of himself.

He initiated you coming over, he’s holding a playful/flirty conversation with you, and he’s totally not freaking out at the fact that he’s going to have to tell you he’s ready to have sex.

Right?

Okay, the last part is definitely a lie but he’s just gonna go with it.

You: on my way :)

Jungkook receives this text from you roughly two hours later when he’s getting out of the shower.

He deep cleaned his bedroom, put fresh bedding on his mattress, scrubbed every inch of his body and, now he was standing in front of the mirror with nothing but a towel on his hips.

He takes time slathering lotion all over his skin, hoping that you like the vanilla-honey scent before applying a copious amount of deodorant.

He shaved in the shower, taking his time to remove the bit of hair around his crotch because it makes him feel cleaner.

Jungkook’s hair is getting longer too so, he’s been putting leave in conditioner on his ends to keep them healthy and spritzing his hair with anti-frizz serum.

After roughly 20 minutes of primping, he gets another text from you as he’s pulling on his sweat pants.

You: Here <333

Jungkook feels his stomach twist whilst reading your message.

Here goes nothing…

You’re standing outside the door of Jungkook’s house, dressed in a hoodie and a pair of leggings.

Comfy works out for you because, it requires minimal effort and, it’s also your boyfriend’s favorite look on you.

So, it’s a win win.

Given the fact that you and Jungkook usually end up fooling around, you took the time to exfoliate and shave whilst you were in the shower.

You may have also worn a new lacy red bra that had arrived in the mail earlier that day…

But, who knows?

“Yahhh there she is…”

You instantly light up as Jungkook eagerly swings open his front door, quickly pulling you into his grasp.

He smells amazing but, he feels even better and, you waste no time in pulling him close to you.

“I missed you.” You mutter into his hair

He grins, hugging you a bit tighter and, ushering you inside, “Missed you too, are you cold at all?”

Stepping through the threshold of his door, you notice that he’s freshly showered himself, his hair is damp and stringy but, it frames his face perfectly

“A little bit but, I plan on using you for warmth really soon so, I’m good.”

His hand is intertwined with yours as he leads you up to his room and, his face lights up with a smile.

“I got a new duvet on Tuesday, it’s really warm but,” He places a hand on his chest. “,you can still use me though, I missed having you here.”

Jungkook mutters the last half of his sentence, his cheeks warming up at his confession before he pushes open the bedroom door.

You don’t comment on his shyness but, it makes you smile and lean into him a little more.

His room is always clean but, the fresh scent of his disinfectant spray is slightly more pungent than normal. It isn’t a harsh smell; it’s a soft lavender cleaner that he special orders from Korea.

He absolutely hates the scent of bleach.

“It’s a nice color huh?”

Jungkook gestures to the muted grey of his new bedding, which is carefully placed over his mattress.

“I love it, it’s very you.” You smile as your eyes scan the room, “it matches your furniture really well too.”

His eyes light up, “Yeah, yeah that’s why I got it. I knew it would look good with the- um the desk and the dresser and stuff. See, I knew you’d notice that…you always notice things like that.”

Before you can respond he’s speaking again, his tone slightly uneven, “Um do you want to lay down? I know you said you were cold. I can hold you if you want-“ He grimaces at his word choice, not fully understanding why his nerves are taking over already, “not that  I don’t want to or anything. I do, I just…I know you’re cold.”

You touch your hand to his cheek, bringing his wandering eyes back to yours, “Are you ok?”

Jungkook swallows, his eyes locking with yours, “Y-Yeah, I just don’t want you to be cold…”

You’re not convinced.

Although the two of you have only been together for 6 months, you like to think you’ve gotten to know Jungkook really well. He isn’t exactly a closed book and, when he’s nervous about something, it’s fairly obvious.

“Are you suuuure?”

The question is paired with a soft kiss to his lips and, Jungkook can’t help but smile when you do, his posture relaxing slightly.

“I’m sure, I’m just happy you’re here. It was weird not seeing you all week.” He tucks a stray hair behind your ear before, pecking your lips.

Again, you’re not convinced but, you don’t want to pry.

He’ll tell you when he’s ready.

The matter of his worries is dropped and, Jungkook quickly (and neatly) pulls back the covers so, that the two of you can slip underneath them.

Moments later, you’re nestled against your boyfriend’s side, draping your arm over your stomach.

“You smell good…” You mutter against his sweater, nuzzling gently against the material.

Jungkook grins triumphantly, silently patting himself on the back for his choice of lotion.

“Thank you,” His chest vibrates with the sound of his voice, “so do you…”

With that, he tentatively raises a hand towards your hair, allowing his fingertips to brush over the top of your head.  

The anime begins playing but, you’re more focused on the way his fingers feel, as you melt into the soft fabric of his sweatshirt.

And halfway through the first episode, Jungkook’s motions are beginning to take a toll on you.

But not in the way you’d normally expect…

He’s smiling softly, admiring the way you sigh at his touch, taking time to play with the ends of your hair before massaging gently at your scalp.  

“You’re going to make me sleepy…” You mumble contently, a few minutes later and, Jungkook chuckles breathlessly beneath you.

“That’s ok; you can sleep if you need to.”  

He means it.

Jungkook had other things on his agenda but, now that you’re here, all he cares about is your comfort.  

“Don’t wanna sleep-“ You nudge your nose against his ribcage, “I missed you.”

With another chuckle, he traces his fingers over the edges of your hairline, brushing over the shell of your ear.

You can feel goosebumps rising on your skin but, it’s not intrusive or sudden, they come on slowly along with a type of comfort that only Jungkook can provide.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” He soothes, his motions continuing over the arches of your brows before, he traces back up the expanse of your forehead. “I promise.”

You can feel yourself smile as your blinking slows, taking another deep breath whilst your body seems to melt into him.

The heaviness in your eyelids is growing despite your best efforts to warrant off your exhaustion.

You didn’t want to nap, you wanted to spend time with your boyfriend but, when he tucks his fingers beneath your hair and, begins scratching gently on your scalp, the threat of sleep becomes more prominent.

“Sleepy girl…” He teases, a fond smile on his lips as he watches your eyes finally close. His thumb brushes over your cheek, gently pinching at the skin before, returning his hand to your hair.

This warms you from the inside out and, sooner or later you can’t help but, drift off into a light sleep.

Jungkook smile grows and, he slows his movements to a stop before tugging on the duvet until it covers your shoulders.  

He decides in that moment that he really wouldn’t mind spending every night just like this; tucked under the covers, falling asleep in eachother’s arms.  

He changes the show to something you’ve already seen; he doesn’t want to watch the anime without you.  

After some time has passed, you slowly come out of your slumber, happy you’re still laying on your boyfriend’s chest.  

You peer up at Jungkook to see his brow furrowed in concentration as his gaze is locked firmly on the screen.  

A smile immediately finds it’s way onto your lips, your finger reaching out to bop him on the nose.

He jumps at first, not understanding the source of the interruption before he quickly matches your smile, ““Yah she’s awake. Did you have a good nap?” He thumbs over your cheek once more and, you’re overcome by the urge to press a kiss against his lips

He’s willing and able to accept it.

His hands come up to hold you against him and, he slowly begins to move his lips against yours

“Mhm...”

His nose wrinkles with the joy on his face as he presses more kisses to your lips.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep, I just haven’t been getting to bed on time this week...”

An adorable pout comes over his mouth, “Don’t be sorry, I’m glad you were able to get some rest. It’s not late or anything.”

It’s well past sunset but, Jungkook’s vanilla cake candle is providing enough light to illuminate the details of your boyfriends face.  

You kiss him again, just because he’s cute and you can, “What did you do while I was out?”

His head reclines against his pillow again but, he tugs you closer, ensuring that you remain against him.

“I watched a few episodes of Naruto...” He admits, “I’ve seen it a million times but, I never get tired of it.”

Your arms drape over his shoulders as the upper half of your body rests over his chest. The wispy ends of his black hair are too cute to resist so you absentmindedly toy with them as you respond,

“I get it, I have a few different shows that I’m like that with; I swear I’ve seen The Office so many times I could quote it in my sleep.”  

A half smirk curves on the end of his mouth, “Yeah that’s a good one too, Jin hyung watches that show all the time.”

You giggle, tucking a bit of hair behind his ear, “Ah that explains a lot actually, Jin and Michael Scott have a lot in common.”

He chuckles at that, nodding in agreement, leaning his head against your hand.

“Which character do you think you are?”

You purse your lips, mulling it over, your eyes narrowing in thought, “Hmmm that’s a tough one cause like- I wanna say Kelly because, she’s amazing but in reality, I’m probably more of a Kevin.”

Jungkook’s smirk grows, “Isn’t that the guy who dropped his chili all over the place?

With a dramatic sigh, you nod, “God, I’ve never related to anyone more in my entire life...”

A full belly laugh comes from your boyfriends pretty mouth, his body trembling beneath you as he shakes his head.

It’s one of your favorite sounds, especially when it gets all high pitched like it is now.

“Jagi you aren’t Kevin...” He insists, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye, “You are cooler than him.”

“You’re just saying that because you see the best side of me; in reality I am 100% Kevin.” You giggle, tucking more hair behind his other ear.

He still chuckles, shaking his head before nodding to you, “Who do you think I am?”

This definitely gets your brain going.

“I’m leaning towards Jim, you guys have a lot in common.” You nod as you continue to think about their similarities, “Yeah, you both have the same sense of humor and, even though you’re more sexy in an obvious way, you both have the same kind of sexiness?? If that makes sense?? But, you’re definitely hotter than Jim.”

You force your train of thought away from the office- style fantasy that pops into your head as Jungkook feels something stir deep in his gut.

“You think I’m sexy?”

You can’t help but laugh at the surprised look on his face, you swear you’ll never understand how Jungkook doesn’t see how hot he is.

“Duh.” You seal your response with a kiss but, Jungkook surprises you by sitting up and tugging you onto his lap.

He chuckles at the squeal that leaves your lips but, he carries on kissing you, his hands sliding up your outer thighs.

You don’t know what prompts his motions but, you’re not really in the mood to ask.

You’d much rather sit on your boyfriend’s lap and, make out with him.

“Can you-” He whispers against your lips, slightly breathless, “Can you say it?”

Your eyes flutter open to catch the shyness in his, “Can I say what?”

Warmth floods the apples of his cheeks, “Can you say that you think I’m sexy?”

A smirk teases the corners of your mouth and, tentatively you roll your hips against his.

“Are you trying to get hard Jungkook?”

You can hear him gulp, his eyes widening a bit before he nods.

With a smirk still on your lips, you tilt his head back, moving your fingers through his hair as you slowly begin placing kisses up the side of his neck.

His breathing picks up and, god help him, he immediately feels his dick hardening in his sweats.  

Jungkook’s neck is a sensitive area and, you know exactly where his weak spots are.

As you reach the lobe of his ear, you feel his grip tighten on your hips, his mouth parted slightly to make way for his shaky breath.  

“Jungkook?” You whisper in his ear, biting your lip as you see him visibly shiver beneath you.

“Yeah?”

“I think you’re sexy.”  

You nibble on his ear before quickly reuniting your lips, your hands sliding underneath his sweater.

His skin is so soft, so warm beneath your fingertips and, there is a large part of you that wishes you could spend hours just touching and kissing your boyfriend’s body.

Jungkook is eagerly reciprocating your kiss whilst his hands slowly move back up the outsides of your thighs.

His plan to get hard definitely worked because, you can feel him poking against your hips and, you’re already thinking of all the different ways you can make him cum.

“Did you get hard for me?” You whisper against his swollen lips, nudging his nose

Instantly he nods, his hands tugging the hem of your hoodie.

You take the hint, pulling back from him in order to remove it.  

Your plan is to continue kissing him of course but, as Jungkook spots the fire-red lace cups supporting the swells of your breasts, he lets out a tortured sigh.

“Is that new?” He swallows thickly, biting his bottom lip, allowing his hands to trail up your hips before securing themselves against your waist.

All you do is nod, sticking your chest out a bit and, encouraging him to keep touching you.

Jungkook leans in, dragging the tip of his nose between your breasts, inhaling when he reaches the space between your color bones.

“Did you wear this for me?”

His voice is ragged but, it’s deeper than normal, due to the arousal coating his tone.

“I wanted to look pretty for you.” You whisper, running your fingers through his hair.

You can feel him smile against your chest, his wet lips trailing back to tops of the bra, “You’re always pretty but this-” He grows bolder, biting softly at your breast, “this is torture”

A giggle bubbles past your lips, as you roll down against him once more.

“Jagi I-” The sensation of pleasure that toys with his body acts like a truth serum and, in an act of desperation that he definitely didn’t plan, a confession tumbles from his mouth, “I want you.”

But you don’t quite catch his drift, still rocking slowly against him, arousal slowly beginning to unravel you, “I want you too.”

No like,” He pulls away, his eyes glazed over with desire as they lock onto yours, “I want to be inside of you...”

It’s like a punch to the gut really, the way your boyfriend’s voice seems to quake under the weight of his admission.

You cup his cheek, “Really? Are you sure?”

He nods eagerly, licking his lips before turning to press a kiss to the inside of your wrist, “I want you so bad...”  

You’re quick to capture his lips then, kissing into him with more fervor than you ever have.  

"Can you do it for us Noona?” He croons into your mouth, his eyes darkened with lust as they plead with yours.

A nod is all you can manage at his devasting way of asking you to ride him.

For the first time...

You’re pulling off his sweater, securing your lips to his once more, kissing on them as you lean him back against the pillows.

Your bottoms are removed, leaving you completely naked as you tug his sweats down his legs.

Jungkook’s erection looks painful and, you feel yourself ache at the thought of finally being able to sit on it.

As you sit astride him once more, you lean down to press a kiss between his eyes before trailing your lips down the bridge of his nose to hover over his mouth.

He looks a little emotional, staring up at you as if you hung the moon just for him.

And you would, you’d do anything for him.

“Are you ready baby?” You whisper

He takes a deep and unstable breath through his nose but, gives you a nod anyway as he exhales through his mouth.

Right as you start lining him up with your entrance, Jungkook cups your cheek, his hand clammed up due to his nerves.

“Jagi?” He croaks

You kiss his hand gently, reassurance in your eyes, “Yeah?”

“G-Go slow please...”

You nod, “Of course, tell me if you want to stop at any point ok?”

He returns your nod before, letting out another breath as his head returns to his pillows.

Slowly but surely, you begin sheathing him in your heat, going as slow as possible so he can feel everything.

His body seems to freeze as you sink down on him, his hands tightening on your hips before a gasp leaves his throat.

Jungkook is quite sure he’s in heaven.

That’s the only explanation for the intense feelings of pleasure swimming through his body. He’s never felt anything so hot, so tight-  

So fucking good.

He’s going to lose his mind.  

With wide eyes, he stares up at you in awe, his lips parted as the length of his dick is fully inside of you.

You’re not fairing too well either because, Jungkook fills you up perfectly, nudging against the spot within you that makes your head spin.

“Is that ok?”

“ ‘ss so good...”  His voice is slurred as his hips jerk beneath you, sending a wave of pleasure through your core.

Biting your lip, you thumb his cheek, trying to hold it together, “Can I ride you now?”

You’re asking because, you want to make sure he’s prepared.

You know this isn’t going to last long but, you still want to blow his mind.

“I’m already so close jagi...I’m sorry...” He chokes on the end of his sentence when you start a pace on his dick, “Oh fu- oh my god...”

“Shh...don’t be sorry, you’re doing so good. You cum whenever you need to ok?”  

“Ah- Y/N...”  

His beautiful features are screwed up in pleasure, his hands falling off your hips because, he literally doesn’t have the strength to hold on at this point.

Jungkook’s breathing is growing rapid, as his eyes flit to where you’re connected, “Jagi I’m- I’m really inside...I’m really inside of you...” He marvels, his voice weak with emotion as his hips begin to meet yours.  

“You feel so good inside of me.” You assure him, increasing your pace which prompts his eyes to roll back momentarily.

“Will you kiss me? Please? I wanna kiss you when I cum...and I’m-” His eyes re-focus but, it doesn’t last long as you lean forward to brace your hands on either side of his head, “Jagi I’m gonna cum already...I’m gonna cum so hard. Oh sh- shit...”

You want every wish of his to come true.

You lean down to connect your lips, your hips moving faster and faster, wanting him to cum harder than he ever has in his entire life.

He whimpers into your mouth as his sweaty hands hold you tightly against his body.

“It’s...fuck I’m sorry, I’m sor- I'm cumming.” He chokes out, his grip tightening intensely as his hips weakly jerk with the force of his release.

He says your name as he cums inside of you, trying his best to kiss you properly but, it’s wet and sloppy.

You don’t care though, you ride him through his orgasm, keeping your lips connected.

“There you go, cum for me baby...” You coo, kissing all over his face as the pleasure continues to wrack his senses.

Jungkook knows his never cum harder in his life and, by the time his orgasm settles down, he’s properly spent.

He doesn’t completely register the feeling of you sliding off of him as his whole body is alight with tingles.

You make sure to clean him up, pressing gentle kisses to his stomach as you do.

You didn’t cum this time and, to be honest, it doesn’t really matter.

What you’ve both just experienced was too intimate to measure and, orgasms weren’t really the point this time.

Tucking into your boyfriend’s body you bring him close, tugging the duvet over his shoulders this time...

“Hi” He whispers, tucking his face shyly into your neck, his breathing not fully recovered.

“Hi you...”  

With a smile on your mouth, you press a kiss to his head, holding him tightly to you.

He kisses your chest, feeling ridiculous at how shy he suddenly feels, “I think-” He stops himself to peek up at you, a bit of moisture in his eyes, “I think I’m falling for you.”

Your heart throbs at his confession, kissing his lips once more before whispering, “I think I am too.”

Jungkook knows you didn’t finish and, he plans on addressing that when he settles down but right now, all he can do is hold you.

He thinks he’s finally figured it out:

You can’t plan a perfect moment because, perfection just doesn’t exist.

But as along as he’s with you, it doesn’t really matter.

[baepsaesbae]

Sugar, Snow, and Everything Glows

Pairing— Park Jimin x female reader ft. OT7 

Genre— Fluff, College au, Friends to Lovers, Holiday au

Warnings— None

Word Count— 3.6k

Summary— You’ve gone the entire semester being friends with Park Jimin. Now that the holiday season is in full swing, will things take a turn?

A/N—  This gift was created through @bwcsecretsanta​ event and is for @pjmsdior​. Surprise! I’m your Secret Santa, Winter Bear ❄️🐻  It has been so fun getting to know you and sending fun little asks. Please stay in touch and know that you can always come chat with me! I hope you enjoy my present, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays~

“We only have two days before everyone goes home. Well, I guess it’s more like one and a half now. We gotta make this count!” Jungkook enthusiastically stated to everyone crammed into his tiny dorm room.

“We just finished our last final, can’t we chill out for tonight? We can watch a holiday movie or something,” Taehyung complained.

“That’s exactly why we should celebrate! I heard they’re having a floor wide gingerbread house competition tonight,” Jungkook wiggled his eyebrows.

“Yes, we all know that, Kookie. We literally all live on the same floor and have the same RA,” you reminded him, “Honestly, I’m down to make a gingerbread house. I haven’t done that in forever.”

“Then it’s decided, we’re building edible houses tonight. We still have a few hours to kill so we can watch a movie if you guys want,” Jimin suggested.

With everyone in agreement, all four of you crammed onto Jungkook’s tiny twin bed to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000). Your first semester of college has been a success. You aced all your classes and lucked out on being in a great friend group. You met all three boys at your first dorm mixer. Thankfully, you all came to a mutual agreement that dorm parties were way too crowded and not even that fun if you weren’t completely drunk. So, you all decided to leave together and played ping pong in the lobby. All four of you had been good friends since.

Jimin and Taehyung were roommates and were practically inseparable. For once, it seemed like the random roommate system created a perfect match. Jungkook was the luckiest of all, since his roommate dropped out early on and he never got a replacement one so he had a room all to himself. The other boys joked that he could have hookups any time he wanted but despite his good looks, Jungkook wawa rather shy when it came to girls. He was awkward when you first met, but he easily warmed up to you and now treats you like one of the boys (Jimin often has to remind him of this when he tells him to keep his poop jokes to a minimum). 

You used to get dirty looks from other freshman girls when they saw you surrounded by all the cute boys, but you learned to ignore them. You tried going on dates with some guys, but freshman boys are still just high schoolers disguised as college students. Needless to say, you never found any guy that interested you. 

Of course, no one could blame you for having a tiny crush on Jimin. You liked everything about him. He was extremely thoughtful, very intelligent, and was in fact a very cute boy. However, you kept your romantic feelings a secret because you didn’t want to ruin the group dynamics. 

These thoughts were hard to suppress when you were literally pressed up against his chest. In order for everyone to fit comfortably, Jimin offered for you to lean against him as he put his arm around you. The other boys paid no attention to his move, which you were thankful for because they would have made fun of you for blushing. You couldn’t pay attention to the movie. You were engulfed by Jimin’s scent (he wore a light yet alluring cologne), and your heart was beating so loudly you were worried that he could hear it.  

“Should we wear Christmas sweaters?” Jungkook glanced at the clock as soon as the movie ended.

“I don’t have any,” you shook your head.

“I have an extra, you can borrow it if you’d like, “Jimin offered. 

“Perfect! Tae do you have one?” Jungkook didn’t give you time to reply.

“I have one with polar bears on it,” Taehyung answered.

“That’ll work! Let’s meet back here in 10,” Jungkook stated as he stripped off his shirt.

“Stop showing off,” Taehyung laughed as he slapped the younger boy’s abs, “C’mon ___, let’s go get changed.”

The other boys’ room was just a couple doors down from Jungkook’s. Taehyung went to change in the bathroom while Jimin picked out a sweater for you. You waited patiently while you looked around Jimin’s side of the room. Your gaze stopped at his polaroid collection that hung above his desk. Looking at them made you smile as you reminisce the fond memories from throughout the semester. You saw the boys laughing and smiling, a surprising number of Jungkook shirtless, and a few selfies that only got Jimin’s forehead as he tried to fit everyone in the picture. 

Then you saw one you’ve never seen before. It was a solo picture of you from Halloween. You wore one of your favorite black dresses with flowy sleeves paired with a pointy witch hat that brought the look together. Upon a closer look, you realized you weren’t even looking at the camera. Instead, you were looking away at an angle that made it seem like you were doing one of those classic model poses.

“I didn’t know you took this,” you called to Jimin, who was rummaging through his closet.

“Oh. Yeah, you just looked picturesque in that moment. I’m glad I got to capture it,” Jimin said in an uncharacteristically bashful way, “Here’s my Santa sweater,” he handed you the article of clothing.

“I actually look kinda cute here, so you did a good job,” you teased him as you put the sweater on over your shirt.

“You always look cute, so don’t worry about that,” Jimin smiled softly.

“You guys ready?” Taehyung barged in, ruining the moment. 

“Yep!” you quickly answered and walked out of the room. Jimin was always sweet, but was he purposely flirting with you there?

“Give me a second, I’m almost ready,” Jimin responded with a tinge of annoyance. 

Jungkook was already waiting outside the room, apparently too impatient to wait for everyone to show up in his room. He was sporting a green sweater that was obnoxiously decorated with real ornaments.

“Did you make that yourself?” Taehyung asked in awe.

“Made it last year with my family; they insisted I bring it with me,” Jungkook shrugged, “Let’s go win this thing!”

“Whaddup guys?” your RA, Jin, greeted the group as you entered the lobby. Four gingerbread kits were set up on a table in the middle of the lobby. Jin glanced at his watch and sighed.

“Hey Jin. Ready for the holidays?” you asked.

“Ready to get away from all you troublemakers,” Jin laughed, “Just kidding. You guys are the only ones who show up to my events, so you’re all automatically my favorites. I had to invite a few of my friends to help make it a real competition.”

“There’s already four people here though, that’s all you need,” Taehyung observed.

“That’s no fun. This is a team competition,” Jin explained, “Counting my friends, I think we can split up perfectly into teams of two.”

“I call ___,” Jimin immediately spoke up.

“Dude, I thought we were gonna be partners,” Taehyung looked butt hurt.

“Don’t worry Tae, we’ll kick their asses. Let’s combine our creative juices together,” Jungkook slung an arm around Taehyung.

“Fine. But keep your juices to yourself,” Taehyung sighed.

“What’s good, party people?” an unfamiliar voice shouted. 

“Ready to show these Freshman how to properly make a gingerbread house?” Jin called out to his friends, “These goons are Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok. I’ll pair up with Namjoon.”

“Sope in the HOUSE!” Yoongi and Hoseok hollered in unison.

“Oh, and I forgot to mention that the winner gets a $50 giftcard,” Jin winked, “Ready, set, go!”

You and Jimin quickly got to unwrapping all of the goods. You were in charge of putting the house together as Jimin thought about how to decorate. The icing that held the walls together looked a bit messy, but you could cover that up with even more frosting.

“Wanna start icing the details and I’ll add the candy?” Jimin suggested.

“Yes chef,” you nodded and got back to work.

Jimin delicately added gumdrops and mints to the roof and added licorice to line the windows. You moved on to take care of the front yard. You added candy canes to make an arches along the front walkway, which was lined with kisses. More and more candy was being added onto the house up until Jin’s timer rang.

“Time’s up! Step away from the houses! Let’s start from this side with Jungkook and Taehyung’s house,” Jin announced.

“It’s certainly...avant garde,” Jimin commented. Icing was piped around the house in intricate patterns and candy was strewn across the house with no rhyme or reason.

“We didn’t want to be confined to the cookie cutter gingerbread house norms,” Taehyung said proudly.

“I can’t tell the windows apart from the door,” Namjoon whispered.

“You’re not supposed to!” Jungkook snapped, “Our house is anything you want to imagine.”

“Alright, moving on-- what the hell? Did you guys even try?” Jin shot a disgusted glare at the SOPE team.

“In my defense, I haven’t had dinner yet,” Yoongi shrugged.

“And I thought it wasn’t fair that only Yoongi got to eat it so I joined him,” Hoseok hung his head. 

You stifled your laughter as you looked at their plate. Candies were piled up and the house laid unconstructed with many bites taken out of it. Jin shook his head and continued to present his house, which honestly was not much better than his friends’ lack of a house.

“This one was my bad,” Namjoon rubbed the back of his neck.

The gingerbread house looked like it was struggling to stand up. The walls were lopsided and the icing was messily laced around the entire thing.

“I wanted to go for a White Christmas look and have the roof be completely covered with the icing. But thanks to Namjoon’s sloppy work, it got too heavy and the house started to fall apart--” the house collapsed right as Jin said that.

“___ and I made a picture perfect gingerbread house,” Jimin boasted. It was true. Your house looked like it was done by a professional. The icing was well done and the candies were placed in all the right places. No one else made a front lawn like you guys.

“It looks like we have a clear winner,” Jin nodded.

“Good try guys, better luck next time,” Jungkook stepped up to claim the prize.

“___ and Jimin are the winners,” Jin handed you the giftcard while looking at Jungkook in disbelief. 

“Woohoo! Great job __!” Jimin cheered and hugged you tightly. You once again caught a whiff of his cologne and felt yourself melting in his arms. 

“Boo! Lames!” Jungkook yelled at you both.

“Wait, is it snowing?” Yoongi said as he looked out the window.

Sure enough, white flurries were swirling around as snow landed on the ground. It must have been snowing for a bit, as it was actually sticking to the ground and there was at least an inch of it. 

“Let’s go let’s go!” Jimin took your hand and dragged you to the elevator.

“You too, Jin. I wanna pelt my RA in the face,” Jungkook stuck his tongue out at Jin.

“Oh you’re on, kid. Let’s go boys,” Jin motioned to his friends.

Cold air whipped across your face as soon as you walked outside. You weren’t wearing nearly enough warm layers and the cold chilled you to the bone.You stuck your tongue out to catch snowflakes as you shivered. Jimin wrapped his arms around you, catching you off guard.

“Cold?” he whispered in your ear.

“Maybe a little,” you admitted as you felt your ears warm up. Right as you said that, a small white ball exploded on your chest. Jungkook had his signature bunny smile plastered on his face as he laughed hysterically. He was on a rampage, and you laughed as you watched him chase Jin around with a gigantic snowball.

“Oh, it’s on!” Jimin yelled at him as he started to form ammunition of his own. 

You went to stake your own tiny claim of land to make snowballs in. Taehyung was running around with an arm full, pelting anyone in sight. Endless bouts of laughter echoed outside of the dormitory as you and your friends engaged in an intense snowball fight. There was no clear winner, but no one could feel their extremities by the end of it.

“Alright alright truce! You kids go take a hot shower before you get sick. I don’t wanna get blamed for anyone having an unpleasant holiday season,” Jin finally shooed all of his kids out of the snow. 

“I can’t believe this. Why do my parents have to come pick me up a day early?” Jungkook complained as he sprawled out on his bed.

“Because they love you and are excited to see you, Kookie. Don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of time to partake in more shenanigans next semester,” you patted his ankle in reassurance.

“If you’re leaving, then I’ll probably drive home today too. I miss Tannie,” Taehyung sighed.

“Why? ___ and Jimin are still here. You guys can have fun without me,” Jungkook pouted. Jimin and Taehyung exchanged a quick glance at each other before Taehyung talked about how much he missed his adorable little fluffy companion. 

“I’m telling you, you have to sneak Tannie over here next semester,” you joked. 

“He’ll get too excited and bark. Jin is chill, but probably not that chill,” Taehyung said somberly, “But don’t worry! We can take a field trip to my house next semester for sure. My mom makes the best food.”

“I can’t wait buddy,” Jimin smiled as Jungkook finally got out of bed to start packing. All three of you saw Jungkook off once his family came to pick him up. His mother was sweet and you could tell that he got his charisma from his father. Taehyung hugged both of you goodbye and you watched him drive off.

“Guess it’s just us left huh,” Jimin observed.

“What do you wanna do? It’s not even 11am yet,” you checked the time, “Oh! How do you wanna split up the gift card? It’s a visa so it can be used anywhere.”

“Why don’t we spend it together? That way it’s fair. What do you say to one final outing to commemorate the end of a great semester?” Jimin offered.

“Sounds good! Do you wanna stay on campus or?” you trailed off.

“I have an idea,” Jimin nodded, “But it’s a surprise! Meet in my room after we get dressed? Change into something a little warmer.”

“Fine,” you rolled your eyes.

You showed up in front of Jimin’s door wearing a cozy sweater a couple minutes later. You also sprayed on some of your favorite perfume, but he probably wouldn’t notice. Nor would he notice the extra effort you put into styling your hair. 

“Hey you ready to have some fun?” Jimin greeted you with a smile, “You look...nice.”

“Thanks, you too. Now will you tell me where we’re going?” you asked.

“I’ll tell you on the way. C’mon let’s go catch the train!” Jimin led you by the hand down the hallway yet again.

The way he said that you looked nice made you feel self conscious. He had the same tone that people have when someone really doesn’t look nice but they were too far into the sentence to correct themselves. Now sitting together on the train, you wondered if you were wearing too much perfume.

“How do you feel about ice skating?” Jimin asked.

“I love it. Haven’t done it in a while though,” you answered.

“Perfect! I realize I probably should’ve made sure you enjoy skating before surprising you with it,” Jimin laughed nervously.

“This still makes for a fine impromptu date,” you laughed with him before realizing what you said.

“Date?”

“Sure is weird not having those two around causing a scene!” you interrupted him.

“Um, yeah. They’re good dudes,” Jimin awkwardly agreed.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. You finally get some alone time with Jimin and you’re making it all weird. The other boys always made sure there was never a dull moment during your escapades. You wished they were here right now.

“This is our stop,” Jimin tapped on your knee.

The snow had stuck overnight, making everything that the sun touched glisten. Your spirits lifted as you walked around the decorated town, the festivity of everything seeped into you. Christmas lights were strung up everywhere, and there were big red bows on nearly everything. 

“You good? You seem kinda out of it,” Jimin nudged you. 

“Oh yeah, I’m fine! Don’t worry about it,” you shot him a fake smile.

“Hey, don’t lie to me. I’d like to think I know you better than that. What’s wrong?” Jimin prodded.

“It’s nothing really. It’s silly, believe me,” you replied quickly.

“___,” Jimin said in a serious tone.

“I didn’t mean to say ‘date’. It was just a stupid slip up and I guess I was worried about making this awkward when you’re really just trying to be a good friend and--”

“This is a date,” Jimin stated.

“It--what?” you were surprised.

“The boys and I have been planning this since last month. We figured it would be the only natural way for us to spend time together. Alone,” Jimin blushed as he looked at the ground.

“If you wanted to make it seem natural then you probably shouldn’t have disguised it as an accidental stroke of luck,” you crossed your arms, “And the way you said I looked nice earlier made me feel like I’ve had something on my face this whole time.”

“No no! You really do look nice! I was actually gonna say super cute but I chickened out. Aw, ___, you look lovely. I’m sorry I made you self conscious,” Jimin pulled you in for a hug, “I’ve liked you for a while, but I was scared that you didn’t feel the same way. If this makes you uncomfortable, we can just forget about this whole date thing and just skate as friends,” he whispered. 

“I was scared of ruining the group so I never wanted to tell you that I like you,” you responded once the hug ended.

“I guess we both goofed. So can we call this an official date?” Jimin asked with a hopeful smile.

“Yes, yes we can,” you laughed.

“Sweet. Since it’s a date, can I hold your hand?” Jimin held out his hand and you happily took it. He led you to the ice rink as you both laughed and made fun of each other for being so coy for the entire semester.

“So how long have you liked me?” you asked.

“Would it be cheesy to say since I first laid eyes on you?”

“Yes.”

“Then since I first laid eyes on you,” Jimin was pleased with his answer.

“And the other two knew?” 

“The entire time,” Jimin confirmed, “It was actually Taehyung who came up with this plan.”

“Why didn’t you just ask me out normally?” you tilted your head.

“Honestly, we never thought of that,” Jimin admitted.

“You boys are all so dumb,” you laughed.

“True, but it worked!” Jimin defended, “We’re here! You got the gift card on you?”

After paying for the ice skate rentals, it was now you leading Jimin into the ice rink. It had been a while since you last skated, and you were eager to glide across the ice again. You dragged Jimin behind you as you trudged forward.

“Do you not know how to skate?” you looked back at him.

“I do, but this is more fun,” Jimin smiled. You let go of his hand and took off. You laughed as he struggled to chase you. His version of skating was more like inching forward very very slowly with the grace of a newborn deer. You skated circles around him to tease him. The teasing continued until you both wore yourselves out (and your rental time was up). 

“That was fun,” you announced happily.

“Speak for yourself, I lost track of how many times I fell on my butt,” Jimin rubbed his backside with a sad frown.

“7 times. And you fell onto your knees 3 times,” you informed him, “Do you wanna grab something to eat to make you feel better?”

“Some hot chocolate would smack right now,” he nodded.  

 “Let’s go get you warmed up big boy. Wanna go to Starbucks or something?” 

“I have some hot chocolate back in the dorm. Can we heat that up and watch a movie?” Jimin asked sweetly. You nodded and made your way back to the train station. You leaned onto Jimin’s shoulder on the way back, enjoying your new freedom to be a little flirty with him.

Once back in Jimin’s dorm room, you made the hot chocolate while he changed into pants that didn’t have ice all over them. Both of you snuggled together on Jimin’s bed while Die Hard played on his laptop (believe it or not, that counts as a Christmas movie). 

“Would you say today’s date was a success?” Jimin asked before taking a sip of his drink.

“I’d say so. I think we get along well,” you nodded.

“Well that’s a relief. I can take you on more next semester if that’s okay with you,” he looked into your eyes.

“That’s perfectly fine with me,” you smiled before kissing his cheek. This semester definitely ended on a high note. Tis the season.

Published December 25, 2020. No editing, copying, translating, or reposting allowed. All Rights Reserved © 2020 Baepsaesbae.

[ri-ahhh]

for the win

After dealing with a lifetime of insecurities, Winnie Walker finally gets the courage to pursue her dreams, with a few bumps along the way. But that confidence may not carry over when it comes to a certain hazel-eyed football player who’s had her attention for much too long.

A/N: this was a random inspo that hit me out of nowhere a while ago and I was gonna make it an epic oneshot, but I think I’ll just break it into parts instead. So, hence, this is part one. Hopefully you like it enough for it to be even worth posting more.

warnings: none yet, other than this is def gonna be as cheesy as you think it is

***

Winnie Walker has always considered herself an enigma. Not in that annoying, ‘I’m so cute and quirky’ type of way, but rather in the way that made her someone who never quite fit into one defined space. The kind perfected by years of self doubt, an emotionally distant mother, and the random ebb and flow of confidences and insecurities that always helps her remember that she is, in fact, perfectly un-extraordinary: her face is too round, but she’s always been called pretty; her personality is dry enough that she finds it challenging making female friends, but she fits in well with the boys; and she has a penchant for being the last one to talk about anything she might be feeling until she puts a pen to paper and speaks through the mouths of others.

Sports and writing were her main passions, but it still took until her senior year of high school to decide that she wanted to be a sports journalist. Not just a journalist, though -- more than anything, she dreamed of stepping out into the light as a broadcaster. Shy by nature but an athlete at heart, it once again put her in that enigmatic grey space where she wasn’t sure what the hell she was thinking.

But it’s what her heart was calling for her to do. For the first time in her life, Winnie Walker felt sure about something despite everyone’s doubts -- including her own. She grew up an athlete, and some of her fondest memories as a child were caught between either being in her dad’s man cave with all of his friends, cheering on their team of choice for whatever sport was on, discussing heatedly what plays should or shouldn’t have taken place. Or, on the volleyball court. 

The full ride offer from USC that was presented but never came to fruition because of a devastating knee injury in one of her last club tournaments haunted Winnie in the months leading up to her high school graduation. 

Her mother, Dahlia, was not-so-secretly thrilled. A stage mother through and through, she had always supported her daughter as she made headway in her sport as a star player, but it was an open point of contention that Winnie planned to follow her passion for it all the way to college. She wanted her middle daughter to attend the local university, get a nice marketing degree, and settle into a high rise in downtown Dallas, where she could point at during brunch with her friends and brag about the pretty penny her kid made with her perfectly nice degree she attained in her perfectly nice hometown. 

That’s not Winnie, though, and everyone except Dahlia knew it. No one was all too surprised that she still wanted to escape to California (again, except her mother), even if they were slightly shocked about her decision for a major. The reactions from her friends and sisters and dad had her even more excited as she scanned the email of her academic acceptance into USC. It finally gave her the courage to spill the beans to her mother as well.

Dahlia Walker very much scoffed in the face of her quiet, introverted, hopeful daughter sitting across the kitchen island while she scrubbed at the dishes from dinner.

“Winona, sweetie, you refused to even speak at your sister’s wedding as the maid of honor, and you want to be on TV? With all those... men?”

Winnie cringed a little bit and rolled her eyes at the slightly far-off look on her mother’s face as she no doubt started imagining the sweaty athletes the reporters would stand next to post-game.

“You don’t think I could do it?” she asked flatly, flicking a chip of her nail polish off her finger so it flew across the otherwise spotless granite — her mom hated when she did that. 

Dahlia’s hands picked up their pace again in the suds, slowed down by whatever middle-aged fantasy was going on in her mind. She shook her head, the highlights in her perfectly styled blonde bob shifting under the recessed lights.

“The girls who do that are just so bouncy. Friendly. They curl their hair.”

Winnie bit her lip. She didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. Her body felt deflated. “I knew I could count on you to be supportive.”

“Oh honey, I’m just trying to be realistic with you,” her mother said dismissively. Like she didn’t realize the pang her words caused to spread in Winnie’s chest; it should have been be all-too familiar by then, but the sting was never weakened with age or predictability. “And California? Are you really ready to be so far from home? You hardly ever even leave your room.”

It had taken everything in Winnie to hold back the open scoff she longed to throw at her mother; instead, she just stood up and left the kitchen, along with any childish hope that Dahlia might ever make an effort to really know her middle daughter.

Because anyone that knew Winona Elle Walker could predict just how much she would thrive in California. In the persistent sunshine that never quite reached the peak of being too hot for very long, unlike the nearly six months of 90 and 100-plus degree days of summer she knew so well in Texas. Within close proximity to a beach that didn’t have swamp-colored water washing ashore.

In a place well over a thousand miles away from Dahlia.

And that’s exactly how Winnie found herself in LA: thriving. She made friends easily, enjoyed life on the USC campus while she studied the exact major she had set out for the first day she sat down in her first class -- Navigating News in the Digital Age class -- and it was a relatively cheap flight home if she ever missed it too much. Winnie started feeling less like an enigma, and more like someone whose quirks were becoming more of a benefit to her success than she could have ever imagined.

Now, as a woman in her senior year, nearly 22 and set to graduate in only a few months time, she’s finally up for the most coveted position in her major: being the prime time student reporter at the biggest sporting events of the school’s entire athletic program — the Trojan football games. Reporting at football games was a job always reserved for seniors, and she had been driving her roommate — and best friend in California — Naomi crazy all summer prepping for the spot’s audition.

“Winnie, babe, you know the plays backwards and forwards. You’ve understood more about the rules of football since you were a kid than I’ll ever know as a grown woman. You have all the key players’ and coaches’ names and numbers memorized. You couldn’t be any more prepared,” she smiles, good-natured irritation clear in her eyes and behind the blinding smile that shone from her mocha-colored skin.

It softens some when Winnie stood from the couch, and Naomi reaches over and slaps her retreating ass just hard enough to make Winnie yelp and giggle. “Not to mention those squats are paying off big time, bitch. You’re gonna kill it.”

Winnie rolls her eyes and continues to make her way to the kitchen to refill her wine glass. “The camera won’t see my ass, but thanks.”

Naomi winks. “No. But Grayson Dolan might.”

Grayson Dolan — the walk-on that had stunned everyone when he was thrown into a game his freshman year after two of the starting tight ends had become injured on two consecutive plays. Now a senior himself, he’s led the team ever since in receiving yards, receptions, and TD’s, and is a clear prospect for the NFL in the coming months.

He also happens to be the player Winnie had drunkenly admitted she had a crush on during a girls night last year, and her friends have yet to let her live it down. She had felt ridiculous saying she had a crush as a 21 year-old, but that’s really all it was; he was hot, an extremely talented player, and she barely knew him beyond that one time he had spilled a drink on her at a frat party, and the rather interesting reputation that followed him around campus. There was nothing more to it.

Even if her attraction to him hasn’t died down in the passing time.

Winnie only blushes and pours herself a little extra, blaming the Maison No. 9 when Naomi throws her head back with a cackle and calls out the matching pink in her cheeks.

The morning of her audition, a mere two weeks into her fall semester, Winnie has butterflies fluttering madly in the pit of her belly. Her truer nature of being somewhat shy and timid in these situations has never left, always flaring up in moments of self-doubt and unpredictability. Undoubtedly, however, this audition deserves all the nerves; it’s a clear stepping stone into network broadcasting, and would almost guarantee her a spot as an intern at FOX Sports next semester.

She stares at herself in the mirror for a moment, silently urging herself to get her shit together, and takes a deep breath before eyeing Naomi’s curling iron plugged in by the sink adjacent to her own.

Winnie hasn’t curled her hair once in the nearly four years she’d been in LA. Not for nights out, or auditions, or even a date. A brief moment of madness overtakes her as she stands there staring at the metal device, her hand starting to reach out as words that should be long forgotten ring loud and clear in her head. For a second, the pale beige paint of her apartment bathroom turns the light blue and grey color scheme of her childhood one. Her mom had ‘surprised’ her with the the renovation one year when she decided to redecorate the house while Winnie was at volleyball camp, insisting she had chosen Winnie’s favorite colors, when in reality it simply matched the rest of the monotone suburban house that Winnie secretly couldn’t stand. It was boring, and typical, and...stuck, despite its relative newness.

With that, the fog clears as quickly as it had come, and she sets her jaw determinedly. She hasn’t let Dahlia psych her out for this long; she isn’t about to let now be the first time since she’s been out here on her own.

And maybe Naomi was right. Maybe she’d catch a certain tight end’s eye with a tight end of her own, after all.

The nausea suddenly returns as she shakes her head and reaches for her straightener instead, flicking it on before sectioning off her hair.

“No wonder you’re so fucking single, Win.”

[malfoyfarms]

Behind His Back

maybe a rafe imagine? i get it if you don’t want to write for him :) -nonnie

hi can you do a fluff/angst with rafe pls 🥺🥺-nonnie

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

T/W: couple a swear words

A/N: So I managed to finish three requests bc I’m sitting in the barn waiting for my last three cows to calve... hopefully they’ll all be posted soon! 

You pushed the lobster and pasta around your plate trying to avoid any conversation with the adults who were gathered around you. The polka dotted dress you were wearing was constricting your movement, probably on purpose so you wouldn’t mess up the perfectly pinned back hair. 

Your family had invited the Cameron’s over this evening, celebrating you and Rafe’s one and a half years of dating. To you it felt like a business deal, but all you wanted from your parents was to hear “We’re proud of you,” and if that meant dating Rafe Cameron, then so be it. 

You weren’t one to lie, you had fallen in love with the boy, but things between the two of you weren’t exactly the same as when you had first announced your partnership. Deep down you two understood each other, but it still didn’t completely outweigh the unhealthy behavior. 

“So Y/N, where have you been looking for college? I know your Mom’s an alum of Wake Forest,” Ward asked you from across the large table. Swallowing your bite and wiping your mouth, you prepared your answer. Rafe and I were a year apart, him already attending the university in Chapel Hill.

“It was supposed to be a surprise for next week, but I accepted a position to play field hockey at Dartmouth College,” you responded absentmindedly. You flashed a large smile, feeling Rafe’s hand tighten around your thigh. He hated thinking about the two of you parting ways for college, therefore you never talked about it. 

“Y/N, I thought you were applying to UNC Chapel Hill?” Rafe asked, caught off guard by the response you gave his father. 

“No, not anymore. With double legacy, a first-gen woman at Dartmouth, and a position to keep playing field hockey, I’d be stupid not to accept,” I stated, getting heated. My two older brothers made eye contact with Sarah, John B and Wheezie, knowing it was about to get interesting. 

“It’s beautiful here in North Carolina, why would you want to leave?”

“I can ski in New Hampshire,” I retorted.

“We’re a team, Y/N, I thought we talked about decisions before we made them,” Rafe was turning red. You were challenging him, in front of both families and a pogue. 

“We’re not married, Rafe, I can make my own decisions,” You rolled your eyes. As if anything more could go wrong, your eldest brother threw in a comment about a friend of his he could introduce you to so you can acclimate to the campus properly. 

“I just can’t believe you went behind my back when making such a life altering decision. What you chose affects my reputation,” He was looking down at you, like you were a dog and he was your owner. You were ready to destroy, destroy, destroy, just like Daddy had taught his little girl. 

“Oh, so it’s okay to go behind my back and do drugs with Topper and Kelce, or go around beating the shit out of the kids from the cut?” His eyes were starting to dart around as the entire table kept watching. You weren’t finished though. “It’s okay to go behind my back and take my tip money to pay your drug lord? Rafe, your actions affect my reputation.” You spat with a mocking tone. Everyone was silent. 

You stood up, pushed in your chair and made your way to your bedroom. You hadn’t even had the door closed before you stripped your dress off, replacing it with shorts and a sweatshirt representing your future commitment.

Tears were pricking your eyes due to the scene you had caused downstairs. Your mother would be furious without a doubt, but your dad may let you off the hook, you were his baby girl. All you wanted to do was impress your parents with the academic and athletic achievement, but once again you let Rafe’s words cause actions that took that very moment away from you. 

~

It was going on 3:30 in the morning, when you heard your brother walk down the hall towards your room. Quickly wiping your eyes, and standing up to greet him.

“Rafe is on the front porch waiting for you. He called me like nine times because you decided to turn off your phone,” he said. “I can make him go away if you want.”

You shrugged your shoulders and silently made your way to your boyfriend. Once you opened the door and took in his appearance as it matched your own. Red-rimmed eyes, runny nose and twitchy hands. 

Here the vicious cycle began again. You’d fight, make a fool of each other, and then run right back to each other. You slid right into his arms, holding onto him as tight as your hands could. This cycle was the only way you knew how to love. You had learned from your parents, seeing many situations such as the one that had just played out between you and Rafe. 

What you noticed was that as you gripped him, he didn’t return the favor. He gently peeled your arms off of his body, then turning away and wiping his eyes. 

“Look, Y/N, after the scene you caused tonight, I think we,” he paused. You knew exactly where this was going. You had thrown too big of a fit this time. “We need to take a break for a little, get ourselves on the right path, then possibly rejoin.”

“Rafe what the fuck, did you just recite that from a script?” he wouldn’t make eye contact with you, proving your theory correct. 

“No, I just think it’s best for us, this way we can figure out what we’re doing before you leave in the fall.”

“Rafe, I leave the second week of May to start practices, we either fix this now, or end it now,” you whimpered, revealing another secret you hadn’t had time to tell anyone yet.

“Goodbye Y/N.”

~

It was the annual Christmas Party at the Country Club, and you were not looking forward to it. All the kook families were going to be there, including the Cameron’s. It wasn’t Ward, or Rose, or even Sarah that you were scared to see, it was Rafe. Ward wasn’t as upset as you thought he would be to find out you had ended things with his son, probably more focused on cleaning the reputation his son had picked up. 

The preppy skirt and sweater combination you had on complemented your new body type, highlighting the now more developed muscles. One semester of collegiate sports had completely changed you. You finished pinning back your front pieces of hair and made your way to the living room where your family and your new boyfriend were waiting. 

His name was Wilder Buchanon, a third year at Dartmouth, you had met over the summer as he was another fellow athlete. Your families adored one another, almost more than the two of you’s attraction to each other.

As you made your way into the venue, all eyes were on you once again. You were flooded with greetings from other kook kids, asking how New Hampshire was, about your studies, and most importantly the man standing next to you. Everything around was a blur when your eyes met Rafe’s from across the room. 

He didn’t look the same. His eyes had dark circles around them, his shoulders were slightly hunched as if he was trying to hide. He overall just didn’t look well.

“Wilder, I’m going to go get something to drink, I’ll be right back,” he nodded in acknowledgement and removed his hand from your back. 

Your feet carried you towards the former lover, and he instantly looked at you. He flashed a soft smile and took in your new appearance. Your y/h/c hair had grown long, you had put on muscle, not in a bad way. 

“You look good kid,” he chuckled softly.

“How have you been doing Rafe?” There was a genuine tone to your voice.

“Better, I’m officially two months sober, and I’ll be going back to Chapel Hill in the spring,” he responded. 

He didn’t expect you to envelope him in a hug, and tell him you were proud of him, but he accepted it greatly. Of course his smile softened when he met Wilder, but he was right. The two of you needed to work on yourselves as the relationship the two of you shared was unhealthy. He couldn’t be mad at Wilder for falling for such a wonderful girl like you. 

“Go back to be with your boy,” he said softly. “Just remember kid, I’ll always be in your corner.” He moved your hair behind your ear, and sent you on your way.

[rosy-wooyoung]

Husband series [6/8] | San

Word count: 6.1k (😳) Pairing: ex-husband! Jongho x single mom! reader x CEO! San Genre: fluff A/N: I love Jongho sm, i really hated writing him like that :( but CEO San,,, yes.

You had lived a good part of your life with Jongho. You met in high school, and you hated each other at first. However, since you had to work in partners in your chemistry lab, you learnt to appreciate each other and became friends. You were inseparable, making everyone believe that you were dating, due to your ways of behaving. The last year of high school was a particularly tough one for you, you were extremely sick and exhausted but kept on going to classes, Jongho being your daily motivation to get out of bed. If it weren’t to get your diploma at the end of the school year, you would’ve stayed in bed, trying to recover from your exhaustion of studying and living so far from your school. 

When you finally made it through, you had only two months of holidays to catch up with three years of poor sleeping and eating habits, when you would have needed years to get back into a healthy way of living. You were still very tired when you started university, but Jongho was here again to force you out of your comfort zone and tag along in lectures that you signed up for. At first, university looked and sounded remarkably interesting, but you didn’t last long. Even when Jongho was giving his best to make you feel happy and loved, your mind was still stronger. You had realised that the university universe and everything coming alone made you hate it. You felt like a failure because all your friends and classmates seemed to be able to make it through, whereas you dropped out after a semester there. Oh boy, you felt so alone and dumb for leaving university when you saw everyone around you was smart enough to pass their first year. Of course, you didn’t drop out because you were numb, - even if that’s what your brain was telling you -, it was just that university wasn’t your future. And there was nothing wrong with changing paths. You didn’t need to go to university to be successful in life, no. You just needed to find something that motivated you to get out of bed every single morning, and that was the toughest part for you.

Jongho was an incredibly supportive friend. He was always there to comfort you or reassure you when you felt at your lowest when you felt worthless and ugly. He took from his spare time to help you get ready for interviews, correct your applications, or just have a quick look over them. When you finally got a job, you looked and felt better. You were smiling more, enjoying life like you needed to, and came to realise something as well.

You were in love with your best friend.

And one night, where you were feeling bold at a party one of your college friends had organised, you got even closer to your best friend as if it were possible. You kissed that night, and you’ve never felt so good. 

“Gosh,” Jongho smiled after pulling away from the kiss, “it finally happened,” he mumbled, and you giggled, looking down to avoid his gaze. “I love you,” you declared, and your best friend almost lost his balance, leaning against the wall behind him, dragging you closer to him. “I think I love you more,” he murmured against your lips before capturing them in a rougher kiss.

And that night changed everything. Jongho made you see life at another angle, brighter and more positive. You felt loved, enough, and smart. He had a way to say things and take actions that made your head spin, still not used of the amount of attention you were getting.  After two, three, four years of dating, Jongho finally proposed and you got married a year later, on your fifth dating anniversary. Your fiancé wanted to make it memorable, so you got married at the beach, exchanging vows as the sun was setting in front of you. You still had butterflies in your stomach when you talked about this special day on the couch with your husband, late at night, not wanting to get up from the couch to go to bed.

However, everything went downhill when Jongho graduated from university and started working. You saw him less and less, meeting only late at night or extremely early in the morning as one came back or left to go to work. Your relationship was barely there, too tired to even get into actions or just make out. But hope started to show up. Jongho had been promoted to another part of his company, allowing him to rest sometimes and be there with you during the evenings. You knew that couples weren’t always on the bright side, there were ups and downs in every relationship, and it looked like you just got out of one down moment. But it was just a sunny spell among black clouds. 

One day, on your way to work, you felt a sharp pain in your lower belly, thinking that you were starting your period. You quickly walked to work and rushed to the bathroom, only to find your panties clean. No blood. You started thinking that maybe you ate something expired, but you remembered cooking things that only came from the store, so you were confused. You took medicine to soothe the pain, and it did. Only to come back twice harder a few hours later, in the middle of a meeting.  You were explaining a graphic on the screen to your colleagues as you began to feel dizzy. You cleared your throat and tried to keep your composure, only to have your boss asking you if you were alright. You didn’t even have time to answer that you blacked out and fell on the floor, your co-workers hurriedly rushing to take care of you.

You woke up a few hours later in a hospital room, a worried Jongho looking out the window. You mumbled his name, and he turned around, a serious look on his face.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” you looked at him, still a bit dizzy and confused as you had just woken up. When you processed his words, you were about to answer him when a doctor burst into the room with a file under his arm. “Miss—” “Ma’am,” your husband interrupted, correcting the doctor with a frown. “Amazing, you’re awake. I have great news!” He looked quite delighted, whereas your husband kept a marble face. It calmed the doctor immediately and cleared his throat, opening the file and readjusting his glasses. “You are pregnant with a little girl, and she perfectly healthy. However, you had an iron and water deficit, that’s why you collapsed at work this morning. You need to drink and eat more, not only for the baby but also for you.”

You were pregnant. You didn’t know if you wanted to burst out in joy or in tears. Should you keep it? Could you even abort, or was it too late?

“For how long I have been pregnant?” the doctor looked at you sceptically and looked at your husband, whose jaws were clenched.   “You… you didn’t know that you were expecting a child?” you slowly shook your head and he stood speechless, his gaze falling on the documents. “Oh for quite a while,” he said as he flipped the pages of the file, finally landing on the blood test results, “for a little over than 12 weeks.” He stated, and Jongho took his head in his hands.

“Haven’t you realised that you were pregnant? No sign of any symptoms?” “No,” you muttered as your gaze never left your husband, “I noticed that I gained a bit of weight, but it wasn’t truly alarming.” “And your menstruations?” “I’ve had irregular periods my entire life, I didn’t think that I’d get pregnant since we always use protection.” You sighed at the same time as Jongho, and the doctor briefly looked at him. “Alright, I’ll let you talk together for a while, but you can go out of the hospital when you'll be able to pee,” he said, and you nodded, thanking him as he left your room.

You could see that Jongho was stressed and mad. You never thought that he’d react like that, he was always happy to take care of children. You remembered the last time you saw his sister, he was the proudest uncle you’ve ever seen, taking care of his nephew, allowing his sister to rest and talk with her parents for a while. Children were safe with your husband, yet you weren’t so sure about yours now. Why did he have to react that way?

“Y/N, do you want this child or not?” he said as he leant on the wall, near the window. He opened it, and you shivered, bringing the thin sheet closer to your chest. “It’s too late to abort anyway,” you said, without looking at him. “That wasn’t even my question,” he spoke, and you looked at him. “Why are you reacting like that? Didn’t you want to have children together?” “It’s too early Y/N, too early,” he said as he dragged a hand over his face. You shrugged, deep down feeling ready to become a mother. Jongho, on the other hand, wasn’t ready at all. “But when you played with your nephew, you looked—” “Y/N! It’s not my child, I only took care of him for a few hours! It’s not the same!” Jongho let out his frustration and started raising his voice, barely recognising him. “Calm down, honey, please,” “How do you want me to calm down? You’re pregnant with my child, and you expect me to react well?” “Well, yes! We’ve been together for so long, you should be ready, right?” “Then no, I’m not. I need to think about it,” he said and stormed out of the room, leaving you alone in your bed. You sighed, beaten, and pushed the covers, walking to the toilet with some difficulties. You had to press the emergency button because you struggled to get up from the toilet seat, a nurse rushing in to help you. You were still quite weak, and Jongho wasn’t there to help you out.

He didn’t show up at your shared house during the next week, worrying you that something bad happened to him. A few days later after your hospital exit, you received a message from your sister-in-law, telling you that her brother was safe and hiding at home, hoping that you were alright. You were struggling alone, to the point where you had to call your good friend Hongjoong to the rescue.

“Where’s Jongho?” was the first thing your friend asked, and you shrugged. “Hiding at his sister’s house,” you said as you grabbed light groceries from your car trunk, only to have Hongjoong snatching them from your grip with a playfully stern look. “Don’t carry anything, it’s bad for the baby,” you shook your head and laughed, unlocking the front door of your house. “I’m not that far into the pregnancy,” you argued, but your friend was having none of it. “Still, you need to be careful,” he returned as he placed everything on the counter, opening the fridge as you changed the topic.

“Your wife is okay about you helping me out?” “She’s the one that pushed me out of the door when I told you that I was coming here,” you smirked at his words and poured yourself a glass of water. “She’s so excited to be an aunt, she’s trying to get me into action too,” you laughed, trying not to spill your drink as Hongjoong closed the refrigerator door with a smile. “Really?” “Yeah, she’s been acting up for quite a while.” “By the way, I was thinking about asking the two of you to be the godmother and godfather for her, what do you think?” “Are you joking? It’d be amazing!” “I just need to speak with Jongho about it, but I don’t think he’ll be against it,” he nodded and softly hugged you, careful to not squish you in his arms. Hongjoong and his wife got married a few months before your wedding, and they were still going very strong, admiring them for loving each other so unconditionally. “He’ll eventually come back to you, I promise,” he said as he softly rubbed your back as you walked him to the door, shrugging at his words. “I hope so,” you said and grabbed your car keys, swiftly putting on a pair of slippers to drive him home.

You had to wait a few more weeks to finally see Jongho showing up at the door. Internally, you were relieved that he was back, but you were also quite mad at him. He reacted quite badly, it wasn’t something usual from Jongho. He was timid every time that you were around as if he was finding a way to apologise. You eventually forgave him, and he was more comfortable walking around the house, helping you out with everything and taking care of you.

You welcomed your daughter Areum a few months later, Hongjoong and his wife paying you a visit as soon as they heard the good news. His wife was head over heels for your sleeping little girl, softly caressing her cheeks with the tip of her finger. Hongjoong smiled but rolled his eyes at her behaviour, earning a soft giggle from you and your husband. You were still quite tired from giving birth, so you fell asleep as your two friends were talking with your husband. Months following her birth were hectic, but you would do it all over again if you had to. Of course, you were exhausted, lacking sleep and energy, but at least your daughter was happy and healthy. Jongho helped you a lot, getting up instead of you when he could, changing diapers and sheets when it was necessary. 

However, you and Jongho started to not get along as well as before. You had different manners and ways to take care of your daughter, which sometimes erupted into arguments and screams through the house. 

“Shouldn’t you—” “What?” you annoyingly yelled another time, voice almost breaking, “what should I do, huh? Tell me about it? Tell me what to do, as if you were the mother. How dare you to give me advice when I almost needed to beg you to come home? You left me alone for over two months, just because you “weren’t ready”. What the hell is that shitty excuse? You left like a coward, and now you think that you can give me advice?” “Don’t get on your high horse, Y/N, it’s just that my sister—” “Your sister, always your sister! If she’s so fantastic about everything then leave and go live with her! I’m tired of constantly hearing about her, you talk about her all the goddamn time! You’re always talking about her, damn it if you want to raise a child her way go impregnate another bitch and leave me alone!” you spat as you took your crying daughter in your arms, eyes welling up with tears. “We’re either in this together, or I do it alone, it’s you and me, not you, your sister and me. I’m your wife, it’s our child, and WE get to decide how we bring Areum up. Not her.” You shushed your daughter in your arms as you made your way to your bedroom, blocking the door right after closing it.

One night, a pretty useless fight broke between you two, almost coming to blows. You really had to protect yourself from exploding, but it was the last straw. Out of pure anger, you looked at Jongho dead in the eyes and threw your wedding ring on the floor, hearing it break on the floor and slide under the counter.

“If you’re not willing to change,” you said, pointing your forefinger towards your husband, trying to keep your composure but miserably failing, “then I’m leaving.” You ended your sentence through gritted teeth, and the last thing that you see is the widening look Jongho was giving you. You grabbed your daughter from her highchair, cleaning her hands and bib before scooping her in your arms. She looked at you with pearly eyes, and you kissed her forehead while whispering reassuring words to her, wiping her tears with the back of your hand.

Jongho grabbed your shoulder with a bit more strength than usual, forcing you to turn around. He was clutching your ring in his other hand, his gaze fixed on you.

“Y/N, we’ll make this work,” “Do you realise how many times you’ve told me this? Mmh? Do you remember how many times we tried, and it still doesn’t work? Have you realised that?” "I do, but—” “No Jongho, I’m done, you’re making everything worse now,” you swatted his hand away from your shoulder and entered your bedroom, locking it behind you. You placed your daughter on the bed and draped her in the covers before sliding down on the floor, back resting against the mattress, and you cried. You don’t know how many hours you spent sat next to your daughter, but you woke up the next morning with your head near your daughter’s feet on the bed, along with a painful backache. She was staring at you, trying her hardest to pat your head from her spot. You softly grabbed her hand and laid a soft kiss on it, placing it on your cheek.

A few months after this last fight, everything was ended with your husband, and you’ve never felt so relieved. Your now ex-husband kept the house as you decided to be the one to move out. You looked at Jongho one last time before entering your car, driving off without looking back. Managing to find a place closer to your favourite couple’s house, who helped you move in and take care of your daughter, you were starting to get even happier. They loved looking after Areum because they could practice for their future potential child. Once you arrived unannounced at their house and noticed Hongjoong’s wife in the garden. She made big gestures to not ring the bell because her husband was taking a nap with your daughter on the couch.

Areum was treated like a princess when she was over their house, they took very good care of her, and it warmed your heart. It was relieving to know that your daughter was safe with your friends, they took their role of godmother and godfather seriously.  When you entered the living room, Hongjoong was laying on the sofa with your daughter on his chest. You sat down next to your friend and took your daughter in your arms, laying a soft kiss on her cheek as she was still sleeping. You placed her head on your shoulder, and Hongjoong’s wife replaced your daughter in her husband’s arms, only to have Hongjoong waking up. You waved goodbye at them after putting her in her baby seat, walked to your car and drove home.

After a few weeks, you managed to take your mark around the neighbourhood and succeeded in finding a job. You’ve heard about this company before when you were still with Jongho. You remembered how great he spoke about it, how hard it was to get in, and you made it just by applying as a secretary.  Your work was quite dense, but you’ve gone through worse in the past. Of course, you had bad days, but it was normal. Even your boss, Choi San, could have the worst days ever.

This man was young, yet one of the most powerful men in the city. He owned three big companies around the neighbourhood, making his wealth expand more quickly than his opponents. And you happened to be his secretary, managing his appointments, meetings and maintaining files. You were also sending emails, answering phone calls, or arranging travelling arrangements, and your boss found you extremely skilled. He was never disappointed in what you did, always here to make his life better and easier. One night, you quickly phoned Hongjoong, asking him if it was okay for them if you came to pick your daughter up a bit later in the evening.

“I have an unexpected meeting to attend, and I can’t miss it,” you said, and you heard your friend chuckle.  “It’s okay Y/N, come over when you're free,” you sighed in relief and thanked your friend before hanging up, rushing back to work. The meeting was in a few minutes, and you still had things to print and arrange.

Fortunately, you stapled the last documents together when your boss appeared from his office. He offered you a smile, and you grabbed the files, leading the way to the conference room.  The meeting went well, but all of your colleagues, as well as the boss, only wanted one thing; to go home. Even your boss started discreetly yawning as his father spoke to him discuss strategies and ways of earning more money. Sitting in front of the CEO, you exchanged quick eye rolls and chuckles as he imitated of his father.

“San,” the growling voice of his father interrupted his little game, making him clear his throat, “a little bit of seriousness, please,” “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, and you pursed your lips to stifle a laugh, trying to stay as neutral as possible.

Once the meeting was finally over, everybody got out of the conference room, only leaving you and San behind. You gathered all the documents and cleaned the wooden table, ready to be used tomorrow.

“Can I offer you a drink tonight?” San suggested, and you almost dropped your files, not expecting this coming out of the CEO’s mouth.

“I think I have plans tonight,” you said a bit hesitantly, and San’s eyes tried to read through yours. “Come with me, I promise it won’t be long.” “Alright,” you nodded, and so did he, walking out of the room with a quick smile.

You swiftly took your phone and sent a message to Hongjoong.

[You] : My boss invited me for a drink, is it okay for you? [Joongie] : Don’t worry about it Y/N, enjoy your “drink” with your boss 😉

You huffed at your friend’s words but went back to your desk anyway, shutting everything down and grabbing your purse. Your boss was waiting for you in the hallway, greeting you with a smile as he called the elevator.

The bar he brought you to was quite chic, I mean, what could you expect from him. You were starting to get comfortable around him, even if his bossy attitude was still present. You started talking about your centre of interests, work, and his father. It didn’t feel ambiguous, and you thanked the gods for that. You parted ways with a handshake near your car, making sure that you were safe and fastened in it before leaving you to go to his.

As the weeks went by, San started becoming friendlier to you, sometimes even at work. You tried to shush him with a stern look, but he simply shrugged. He didn’t seem to care, but you didn’t want your colleagues to start imagining random things or rumours about you and your CEO. He was a handsome man, people would kill to get your post, so they wouldn’t hesitate to intensify the rumours if they were to hear some about you. In this world, everything is allowed, even if it means to spread false rumours about someone to try and get to their job. But San didn’t seem to mind. Of course, he was the big boss’ son, what could happen to him? Nothing, exactly, except if he made a big mistake, but flirting with his secretary wasn’t one of them. It’s not that his flirting was annoying and unpleasant, - rather on the contrary, if you were being honest -, you just didn’t want to risk your job for childish behaviours with your boss. You almost had a few heart attacks when he randomly came at work with a huge bouquet of flowers in hand, gathering everybody’s attention as he walked past your colleagues. You always had to justify yourself that they were on your desk, in a vase, because he was allergic to them and he didn’t want them in his office. Of course, it was for his mother, who would – never – come to pick them up. He apparently loved to see you all blushing and struggling to give an explanation when a co-worker appears at your desk, eyeing the flowers as they saw them in the CEO’s hand a few hours prior. You liked your boss, but sometimes, you hated him. 

This flirting went on and on for the next few months until you reached your first year of working in the company. You were so proud that you’ve made it this far and you truly hoped that you could keep on working there as long as possible. With your income, you managed to move out another time and buy a bigger place, offering a bedroom to your daughter, as well as a small playing room linked to it, you were both in heaven.

“Y/N, at what time do we need to go to the tailor for the next week’s event?” San asked you as you took your breath to speak to him. “At 2pm, sir,” you said with a smile, opening a new tab on your computer. “Will you come along?” he asked and you shook your head, typing something on your keyboard as you looked up at him.  “I need to lead this afternoon’s meeting since you won’t be there,” he slowly agreed, a veil of disappointment showing in his eyes.  “Okay, make sure to keep me updated on that,” it was your turn to agree, and he added, “see you later,” before shooting you a wink, your breath sticking in your throat. You shook your head as soon as he left, getting amused at his behaviour.

The day of the big event finally arrived, and everyone was stressed, especially you. You spent your days driving between the company and the place where the event would take place, coordinating and leading everything to make sure that everything would arrive in time and be well done.  On that night, you greeted people at the entrance, guiding them through the hall, sitting them at a specific table, your colleagues taking the lead. Hongjoong and his wife showed up with your daughter, placing them at a strategic place where you could see them, but San couldn’t. Your daughter looked extremely cute with her pinkish dress and her small ballet flats, softly dancing along with the jazzy music that was played. You managed to free yourself from your boss to come and quickly kiss her on the cheek, happy to see her.

“So that’s San, right?” Hongjoong asked as you hugged them. “That man over there?” his wife asked, eyes glowing. “Yes, that’s my boss,” you said with a shy smile, making sure that your hair was well fixed. “Y/N, you have a very good taste in men, damn,” she said, and you laughed, earning a side glance from Hongjoong. “I need to go, but if you could please keep it on the low, he doesn’t know about anything, and I don’t particularly want to explain everything tonight,” they nodded and kept your daughter close to them. You hugged them one last time as a colleague gestured to come back, waving one last time to your friends before hurrying back to the entrance. 

The event was going extremely well. You were a bit nervous to go on stage with San, you weren’t used to speaking in front of so many people, but you imagined yourself being in a conference room and it went a bit better. San’s presence next to you was reassuring, smiling at your friends as it was his turn to speak. Your eyes scanned the room, recognising a few loyal clients, offering them a warm smile. However, your smile instantly vanished as a familiar figure appeared in your field of vision.

Jongho was here, sat at a table with a few of his co-workers, as well as his boss. You didn’t remember sitting them at a table, and you got confused. You mindlessly applauded along with the crowd as your boss finished his speech, but you couldn’t put your heart to it, your mind too preoccupied with something else. 

You made sure that your boss’ microphone was turned off before telling him about your trouble.

“Tell me, that table n°15, I don’t remember inviting them,” you covered your mouth as you leant towards his ear, his eyes focusing on that said table. “They weren’t supposed to come, but they sent me a text that they finally could. Jihae sat them at this table.” You slowly nodded, and your eyes met Jongho’s, a pang in your chest made it suddenly hard to swallow. “Are you okay, Y/N?” Your boss asked, laying a reassuring hand on your arm. You nodded, but San’s eyes squinted and dragged you away from prying eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong,” his voice trailed, and you took a deep breath, worrying him, “you’ve been feeling bad since we talked about that table. Is there a man around it that made you feel uncomfortable?” “There is my ex-husband, I mean, my ex-boyfriend sat at that table,” you corrected yourself as San’s eyes widened at “husband”, making you look in his eyes. “Your ex-husband?” you nodded, and he sighed, looking up to check if anyone was spying on you. “I didn’t know we were doing business with him, I would’ve told you about it earlier if I knew,” you mumbled, and San shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Are you okay now or do you want to take a walk outside?” “I think I'll be fine,” you said, avoiding his eyes as you weakly smiled. San didn’t like that your mind was elsewhere; he felt like he couldn’t help you, and that’s exactly what was currently happening. You briefly smiled at him as you cleared your throat, slowly walking away from him.

“Y/N?” he asked, and you turned around, your focus finally on him. “Yes?” “Is there something that you’re not telling me?” you almost took a step back but refrained yourself from doing so, but San caught it. You slowly shook your head with a smile, feigning ignorance. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you answered, voice wavering, heels clicking on the floor as you fled from his questioning.

You found solace in your friends’ presence, as well as your daughter’s. It was nice to have them here, but you weren’t as comfortable as you wished you’d be when your ex-husband was on the other side of the hall. Hongjoong acted as a control tower, innocently looking around regularly to see if Jongho would randomly show up.  San observed everything from afar, wondering which one of the three men could be your former husband. He doubtfully eyed them, everything clicking when one of the men and the young child you were carrying in your arms laughed at the same time.

They had the same smile. Both slightly throwing their head back as they laughed. There was no doubt left. It was your ex-husband, and that little girl was your daughter. He deeply sighed as he discovered the truth on his own, a bit disappointed that you didn’t trust him enough to tell him everything. 

“Dad, when you have a rough past, would you say it to your boss?” “Why that question? I’m your boss,” he remarked as he munched on the lobster. San hadn’t touched his plate, his focus shifting from Jongho, your daughter and you, who was sitting at a table not far from him. You were fake laughing with your colleagues and praising the food you had on your plate. He knew it was a fake laugh, because it wasn’t as melodious as it were when you were together. He had the habit to crack a few jokes here and there, your laugh being the most beautiful music he’s ever heard in his life.

“Just asking,” he said as he stabbed the rib steak with his fork, eyes never leaving your table. “I wouldn’t immediately say it to my boss, but I wouldn’t hide it either,” his father said after a few minutes sat in silence, which surprised San. He nodded and thanked his dad, who was suspiciously eyeing him. “You’re mysterious sometimes,” his father said as he shook his head, gulping a sip of red wine from his glass. “I know,” his son mindlessly answered and the father looked at his son as if he had gone completely crazy. San’s eyes never left the table your friends sat at, your daughter enjoying her precious time with your friends.

Areum took so many facial features from you, she looked like a mini version of you. She had traits that he didn’t recognise, probably coming from her father side. She looked well brought up, quiet and shy when people gently waved at her. 

You looked up from your wine glass and noticed San staring on his right, his eyes shifting to you, a light smirk tugging on his lips. You raised your glass with a smile, trying to show him that you were feeling better. He looked deep in thought, and that’s when you realised that he probably understood everything. Slowly, you turned around to look at where he was looking, and you met the sparkling eyes of your daughter, who enthusiastically waved at you with a smile. You winked at her and waved back, sending her a flying kiss. Turning around to look at your boss again, he gestured you by the head to stand up, to which you did. You waited for him to excuse himself from his father and you went together to your friends’ table.

There was no point in hiding anymore.

“Hongjoong, Hyunjae, this Choi San, my boss,” you said as Hongjoong’s eyes widened, swiftly swallowing what he was in his mouth. Hyunjae patted her mouth dry before smiling at the two of you. “And this is Areum, my daughter,” you said almost embarrassed, but Hyunjae looked at you with a comforting smile. San kneeled down to be at your daughter’s level, who kicked her legs in the air, getting shy in front of your boss.

“Hello, Areum,” he quietly said, and your daughter looked up when he mentioned her name, smiling when she saw the grin on his face. “Hello,” she shyly said, you and Hyunjae softly cooing at her behaviour. He shook her tiny hand, and she finally dared to look at him in the eyes, as you had taught her to do when you shook hands with someone. San chuckled at her behaviour and played with her leg, shocking everyone when Areum made grabby hands at him. You looked at Hyunjae, bewildered, and she had a hand covering her mouth. San smiled, scooping her in his arms, standing back up. Areum’s tiny arm was wrapped around his neck, and she looked at the crowd from his height. Your boss softly tickled her belly, only to have her shrieking and sinking her head in his neck. He laughed along with her, and so did you, the nervousness leaving your body as your boss teased your daughter. Hyunjae smirked at you, and you waved her off, trying to get your daughter back, but she refused to leave his arms. 

“She’s the cutest,” San mumbled, and you chuckled, following him as he started walking away from your friends’ table. They motioned you to go along as you weren’t moving, Hongjoong slightly pushing you to get into action. You found a bit strange the path that San was following, but you soon realised that it was strategic. Out of nowhere, he grabbed your hand and made you walk near the exit, your linked hands in a great display to your ex-husband. They stared at each other, yet didn’t say anything, but San made it clear to your ex-husband that there was no chance for him to have you back.

“You’re mine now,” he whispered in your ear, and you shivered, squeezing his hand with a nervous smile. “What? Really?” you said, trying to focus on him and not Jongho. “I think your daughter already adopted me, I have no other choice but date you,” he smirked and, once you were out of anyone’s field of vision, he swiftly kissed your cheek as if he was sealing his love for you, making your daughter laugh, getting tickled another time by your boss.

You couldn’t believe it.

[tory-ben-hi-shelton]

my favourite quotes from exposure

Multiple sets of handcuffs appeared and were applied. Bailiffs began peeling off the dog-pile like layers of an onion. And there, at the bottom of the scrum, was Kit. He was panting like a marathoner, arms still wrapping the Gamemaster's legs in a death grip. He'd clearly been the first to react.

"Oh, man!" Shelton had both hands on his dome. He seemed winded, despite not having moved during the attack. "Things just got real in here."

"Sorry I froze in there, Tor." Shelton frowned as he shirt wiped his glasses. "Not exactly my 'One Shining Moment', huh?" I waved off his apology. I knew Shelton hated how skittish he could be.

I try to hide the eruptions, but the guys can always tell. They do their best to support me even though it makes them uncomfortable. It's very sweet, but teenage boys make lousy grief counsellors.

The previous semester, Ben had been in half our classes, too, despite being a junior. Obviously, he was no longer around. Sometimes it felt like a limb was missing.

"Jason might be there," Courtney chirped. "He likes you."

"Oh." Not a brilliant response. "Yeah, maybe. I might have a thing, though."

Wonderful. Good job, good effort, Tory.

Behind me, I heard Hi fake coughing to cover his snickers

"I should be a secret agent." Hi blew on his fingernails, then buffed them on his lapel. "Or a magician. Maybe both. Someone write that down."

My hands shot for the Ray-Bans, but Ben caught my fingers mid-flight.

"It's not nice to grab," he said calmly.

"I can't handle all this tension," Shelton moaned. "Too much fighting."

Hi nodded, watching Ben dissapear down a side street. "We need to work on our conflict management. Maybe attend a seminar."

"Make your own?" Hi shifted to look at my face. "Victoria Grace, have you been holding out on me?"

"Tell me everything."

"You're not gonna be happy," Hi warned. "Don't kill the messenger."

"Or his good-looking buddy," Shelton added.

"On Saturday Ben and I drove to John's Islands to see Skyfall."

"You did?" Hi said sharply. "Thanks for the invite, jerks."

Shelton raised his palms. "You were at temple. We're suppose to wait around? Plus, you've seen that movie like five times."

"You still could've asked," Hi grumbled. "I don't—"

"Guys!" I clapped my hands once. "The story, please."

"So many gentleman admirers," Hi mused. "Must be tough, being a heartbreaker."

"Zip it. Unless you wanna see a leg-breaker too."

Ella adopted a mock serious tone. "Will you bodyguards consent?"

I giggled. "If Shelton and Hi are my bodyguards, I don't like my chances. And yes."

"See this?" Ben glanced at the mirror and pointed to his chin. "This is my 'couldn't care less' face."

"Boys?" I stood and faced them. "Something to share?"

"It was a secret." Hi aimed a kick at Shelton, who dodged easily. "Ben made us swear not to tell."

I crossed my arms. Waited.

"Tell Kit we're cutting a music video," Hi suggested as we walked. "Something real gangster, so we need to smash-cut our dance routines. Lay down some visuals. We could offer to let him freestyle rap over the second verse."

"Come on, Sambo!" Hi winked. "Live a little. What are we going to do, rob the place?"

The guard crossed his arms. "Wink at me again, Hiram, and I'll throw you to the wolfpack."

"Did I not mention that?" My brain was truly deep fried. "We went together."

"Oh." Hi and Shelton at once. Ben looked away.

"Hey, wait." I leaned closer to the screen. "You guys wouldn't have wanted to go. I took Ella so I wouldn't be paraded around like Whitney's toy poodle." No one spoke. Nonplussed, I decided to change the subject.

I glowered at Ben from the backseat. I'd given Hi shotgun, having sensed this argument was inevitable. I didn't want to be close. The urge to slap might become overpowering.

"Why don't we use our friendly words?" Hi suggested. "Let's take five, and everyone can say something we like about each other. I'll start. Shelton you're super at—"

"Shut up, Hi!" Ben and I shouted, the first thing we'd agreed upon all morning.

"Must be hell to keep the pH balance correct. I know how it is. I owned a goldfish once."

"Once?" Shelton asked.

"It died. Almost immediately."

"Nice work."

"It's a cultural thing," Hi was saying. "I think you're being insensitive."

Hines snorted. "Do you want me to cuff you?"

"Kinda."

"A minute alone, Tory. I'd like a quick chat."

Ben shot forward. "You can stick chat right up—"

Hi waved at me from across the yard, waiting for his mother to arrive. Apparently he'd body-blocked the first cops to chase me through the house. The police were none too pleased. I owe you one, Hi. You bought me enough time.

Entering the Virals chat room, I found all three boys present.

Uh oh.

They'd met there ahead of time, before alerting me. To discuss me.

I glanced up to see Shelton holding latex gloves. Hi had the ziplocks. Ben handed me a cotton swab and stopper. "Anything else?"

Despite the circumstances, I smiled.

Ruth popped her son on the back of the head. "Mind your manners, Hiram."

"Why does everyone do that?" Hi muttered. "And that was child abuse. In front of the police, I might add."

He looked away. The harbour breeze ruffled his silky black hair. My hand found his, almost by its own volition.

I couldn't be mad at Ben anymore. It was like being mad at my left arm. And right then, I needed my arm back.

A smile quirked on my father's lips. "And you, Mr. Blue? Ready for a good ol'-fashioned backyard barbecue? My daughter will be there."

Ben's uneasy smile was his only response.

Ben reached up from where he was lying with his eyes closed. Smacked Hi's dome.

Hi rubbed his head. "I'm getting pretty tired of that move."

"Then quit being a dope." Ben's lids remained shut.

"Hey, sure. No problem. I just need to—"

Hi lunged for Ben, intending a flying body slam. Ben caught Hi in midair and tossed him downhill in one quick motion. Hi tumbled, rolled, and dropped over the berm of the sand.

"That was dumb." Hi informed the blue sky.

Ben started talking about Wando High. I countered with news of Bolton. Before long, we'd exchanged stories, catching up on the last five months of each other's lives. I hadn't realized how much I missed Ben. How badly I wanted him back at Bolton.

He was right, of course. I was keeping several secrets from Ben. Like how comfortable it felt to be alone with him. How much I'd missed his reassuring presence. His quiet strength.

Ben removed his shoes, plunged both feet into the lapping salt waters Then he leaned back against a post, sighing contently. The little-boy maneuver brought a smile to my face.

"You're staying out here?" Shelton asked. "Alone?"

"No big deal. I don't want Kit to see what I'm up to."

"I don't like it," Ben said. Behind him, Hi looked uneasy.

"No one knows this place exists." I pointed to the other room. "And there's an 85 pound predator in there that loves me. I'll be fine."

...

"Text me when you get home." Ben requested. "Please don't forget."

I hid a smile. "Will do. Bye, guys."

I sat forward at the table. "Okay, so ... like, don't freak out."

That got their attention.

"About?" Ben took the seat across from me, next to Hiram.

"There was an incident last night." Oh so calm. "I'm perfectly okay, but on the way hone someone attacked me on the beach."

"What?!" Three stunned voices.

"That's why you didn't text," Ben muttered.

Ben shook his head in wonderment. "Incredible. It's nice having a genius around."

"It's only genius if it works." But I flushed at the compliment.

I squeezed Ben's shoulder. "Who's the genius now?"

He snorted, looked away.

"You let her go alone?" Ben scolded, slowly working his way down to where Hi was beached. "That defeats the whole purpose!"

"I'm aware of that, Benjamin." Hi tried slinging a leg onto the riverbank, but it flopped back into the rolling current. "But she'd figured out you sent her away from the mine on purpose. You try telling Tory what to do when she's pissed."

"I'll pass."

"How's the leg, detective? Or did my wolfdog bite you in the ass, instead?"

"Hey, at least it's not your birthday. Worst one ever, by the way."

His fist came up. I dapped it with mine.

"For Tory," Shelton said.

"For Tory." All jokes shelved.

Coop was rolling in the leaves, pinning someone beneath his massive bulk.

Ben dove on the tangle with a voice-cracking whoop.

I was no longer alone. The Virals had found me. Ben was beaming, unable to hide his relief. He turned quickly, wiping his glowing eyes. Shelton darted forward and crushed me with a hug. Coop was dancing and bucking, his tail wagging so hard he had trouble keeping balance. My boys. My heroes.

"Do you confronted the twins alone, without waiting for us?" Ben couldn't keep the anger from his voice. "After making us promise not to do anything like that?"

"We can discuss my impulsiveness another time—"

"Oh, we will." Ben assured me.

I ejected the spent clip from the HK45, slammed the new one into place, then worked the slide to chamber a round. Then I held the weapon loosely at my side, barrel pointed toward the ground.

"I'm terrified of you right now," Hi said wide-eyed. "And in love. Take me shooting with your aunt Tempe next time."

"Take the SUV and go. I'll stay with Ella and handle the fallout."

"Out of your mind." Ben said immediately.

"We could drive away without anybody knowing."

"I'm not leaving Tory to face this alone," Ben insisted. "Get serious!"

I spoke softly. "The cops will eat you alive, Benjamin Blue. You have to go."

Ben tensed, ready to argue.

"Detective Hawfield died. This is going to get serious. It's way too much heat for you. Please be sensible."

Ben hesitated. Then his shoulders slumped.

"Maybe you're right." Deep breath. "But you're taking away the other possibility, too."

"I don't understand." I glanced over my shoulder at the approaching vehicle. "What other possibility?"

He smiled wanly. "Ben Blue, The Hero. That kinda would've been nice."

I paused, at a loss for words. My heart broke for him.

"But that's okay." Ben dug keys from his pocket. "After all, we're Virals, not heroes. And that's fine. Plus, I'm not really the hero type."

He turned to leave.

Impulsively, I grabbed Ben's arm. Pulled him close. Smashed my lips against his. The kiss only lasted a second, but also an eternity. Then I stepped back an shoved Ben towards the Explorer.

"Of course you're the type." I was grateful the darkness hid my blushes. "Now go."

Ben stared, stricken, thunderstruck. Hi and Shelton watched, wide-eyed with shock.

"Weirdest birthday ever," Hi whispered.

"Corcoran will survive," Ben commented sourly. "He always does. We crack the case, he gets to be the hero."

My head whipped to Ben. Was that bitterness?

I saw no trace. Ben was smiling, relaxed for the first time in days. Maybe months.

As my father strode away, Shelton and Hi both unleashed dramatic yawns.

"Welp." Hi stretch his arms over his head. "I'd better go check on various things that aren't right here. You coming, Shelton?"

"Oh you know it." Hiding a smile. "Stuff to do. No time to waste."

I descended two steps.

Stopped.

Shot back up.

Wrapped Ben in a bone-crushing hug.

Startled, it took him a moment before he hugged me back.

"He didn't say anything to me," Hi repeated. "And if Shelton were sick, I'd be the first to hear about it. At length."

"So what's the plan?" Ben asked.

"Go inside. Look around. Improvise."

"Brilliant." Hi stroked his chin. "Quick question: Is having no plan the same as having a terrible plan, or are those different categories?"

[slightlymore]

Pride | Part 2

Pairing: CollegeStudent!Doyoung (main), Y/N, CollegeStudent!Johnny  Genre: Series | Smut | Angst | Crack | Prob fluff if you wear magnifying glasses Warnings: Swearing | +18 in general Words: 4.9K

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |  Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 |  Part 8 THE END

Doyoung couldn’t believe he actually said that. 

You were standing there, with your lips slightly parted as if in awe, looking at him, incredulous. He didn’t know who looked the most shocked between the two of you. He felt like an idiot. You obviously didn’t want to go on a date with him. Why did he say that? Why was he like that? What was going on with him? “I mean, to hang out” he added quickly as if correcting the previous statement. It somewhat became even worse. As if he was begging you to hang out with him. 

“Ah,” you said after a little while, still unsure. Doyoung felt like hyperventilating. Your face transformed into that face one makes when feeling sorry or when about to reject someone. Why would you want to hang out with him? You were probably the type of person to accept just to not be rude and he hated it. What the fuck was he thinking? “Or not,” he said after a moment finding it unbearable to wait like that, in front of you.  He has never done anything like that before. It was terrible. He has promised to himself to just let you go and stop thinking about you and now there he was, asking you on dates. For fuck’s sake.  But then he saw your lips move. You were about to finally open your mouth and reply. In the same moment, your phone ringed. Doyoung saw how your eyes widened a little and he could almost feel your impatience to go and pick that up but compelling yourself to stand there. “You can go and take that,” he said and he didn’t even finish the last syllable that you were already almost running to the living room. His heart stung. “I’ll call you, Doyoung!” you said as a goodbye. “Sure” he replied, but you probably didn’t hear him. “Call me” he added in a whisper even though you never exchanged phone numbers. 

You knew it was stupid. It was even more stupid to show it to Doyoung after he saw your condition the day before. But you couldn’t help yourself. Johnny was still your friend. Thanks to the morning clarity you could see how badly you reacted yesterday towards him sleeping with another girl. What was the problem? It’s not like he was in love with her. He would still be by your side as he was always had.  “Hey” you said after breathing in and out to calm yourself. “Heeey” Johnny said. He was in a good mood. You smiled. “Are you able to stand?” he chuckled. You rolled your eyes even if he wasn’t able to see. “I’m perfectly fine. I didn’t drink that much” you explained.  “Good. Doyoung took good care of you,” he said.  Your smile flattered a little. “You knew he was taking me home?” you asked.  “Duh. What kind of friend would I be if I let you be taken by random people without worrying about you?” he asked. 

You felt confused. That’s why he didn’t call or text. He didn’t need to. He already knew and didn’t need to worry too much. It’s not like he was too busy. He thought about you and your safety first. Then he thought about that girl. Doyoung made it look as if Johnny was unaware of your whereabouts and didn’t care about you. He lied. You felt your guts starting to boil a little. “I thought Doyoung did it all by himself” you commented. “Oh no” replied Johnny, “he actually didn’t want to do it and I asked him to. He did me a favour” he explained. You nodded. It was obvious. You felt stupid. It was so obvious that your best friend would care about you more than about his hookup partner. It’s not like he forgot about you.  Johnny looked after you and worried that you arrived home safely. Doyoung made it seem as if he was a hero when in reality he didn’t even care about you at all. What a dick, you thought. Going on a date my ass. What was that? A cruel manoeuvre to laugh about you and make you feel stupid for having an unrequited love? You were getting mad. You were so ashamed that you thought badly about Johnny with a stranger as if Johnny hurt you. He didn’t hurt you at all. He just loved you as a friend and it was enough for you. You were just being dramatic about it. You and Johnny were still the most important people for each other. He still cared about you more than other girls. You didn’t call nor you texted and Doyoung wasn’t surprised at all. It was the first day of the new semester and he did his best to just stop thinking about you. Why did he even like you in the first place? He had no real reason. Your interactions were like one and a very bad one, to say the least. There was nothing, in particular, he liked about you. Next time he’ll see you he won’t look twice. This time for real.  But then he actually saw you. 

His heart did a whole gymnastic routine. For fuck’s sake. He had to close his eyes for a moment and breathe yet again. What a moron.

When he opened them he understood that you were coming towards him. “What you did was vile” you accused him when you got close enough.  He blinked a few times looking at you. Your expression was scary and your eyes furious. “What are you talking about?” he asked, trying to not comment on your word choice.  You crossed your arms on your chest and puffed your cheeks. Doyoung knew that you wanted to intimidate him but he found it adorable. He tried hard not to chuckle.  “You painted Johnny as the bad guy that doesn’t care about me and acted as if you wanted to take care of me when Johnny basically begged you for you to accept” you explained. 

Doyoung expected absolutely everything to come out of your mouth, besides that. “First of all”, he began with a low voice. 

“Also you didn’t tell me that he knew where I was or that he was worried about me” you talked again. “You made it sound as if he didn’t give a fuck, making me think badly of him” you added. “Let me speak” he replied. He was starting to get irritated as well. You scoffed. “First of all, I never painted him as the bad guy. I have no idea where you got that from. Second of all, it’s not true that he begged me to take you home and I refused” he said trying to keep his voice down as some curious eyes and ears started to get a little too invasive. “I talked to him. He said that” you interrupted him. “Let me finish” he warned you again. “And third, he actually didn’t give a fuck about you yesterday, okay? He was not worried. He didn’t know where you were, what were you doing and with whom. I said to him that you needed to go home and he just gave me the address. I didn’t refuse to do it. I was just shocked that he was so eager to give you off on the hands of a stranger so easily” he finished. You gulped a few times as he spoke. Your throat was dry. “Yeah, but he did warn you to be careful. That means that he does care and that he was worried. He told me that. He still cares about me” you talked again. Doyoung didn’t reply to that and just looked at you. His expression was a mask of disappointment. “Why are you doing this?” he asked you, this time softly. It threw you off guard. His eyes looked as if reading your mind and soul and you hated it. “What do you mean?” you asked as well. Doyoung tightened his lips in a line and crossed his arms on his chest as well. “Why are you trying so hard to convince yourself that he cares about you in a way that is beyond friendship?” he asked. When he saw your eyes get wide, as big as to almost see his own reflection in them, he knew that he hurt you irremediably. But could he just shut up and let you suffer like that again? He wasn’t even doing it for himself anymore, was he? It was just ridiculous to see you still so attached to someone that wasn’t interested, defending him and lying to yourself that he actually cared about you in ways he didn’t. “I’m not trying to do that” you replied. “You just painted him as a bad friend, which he is not, and I wanted to make sure that you knew that” you added. Your eyes hurt as if trying to hold in tears. You weren’t about to start crying in front of this dude. Not again. “He wasn’t a great friend though, was he? He left you alone the whole night while getting his dick sucked. If he were a good friend he would have let that girl go, and took you home by himself instead of asking the guy who took care of you the whole night and that actually offered himself first making sure to let your friends know your condition and your whereabouts” Doyoung spurted out. 

He was being cruel. He knew that. But he couldn’t just handle this situation in a more diplomatic way. Putting Johnny under a bad light wasn’t his intentions at all but he couldn’t agree and say to you that he was an amazing guy and just encourage you to continue crushing on him that way. “I thought that after yesterday night, you would have decided to change something about this situation” Doyoung added. You wanted to slap him. Only because he assisted at one of your breakdowns it didn’t mean he could just butt in and tell you what to do. It was mortifying. Your rational side of your head knew that he was right and you hated it. “Mind your own fucking business” you warned him as you finally found your voice. Then you just turned around and left. Doyoung looked at your back going further away until you turned a corner. He felt like dying. 

“What do you think if we went out tonight?” Johnny asked you as you were walking to grab lunch. He didn’t know about your fight with Doyoung and he didn’t have to. You would need to explain too many details that you’ve done your best to keep secret all of this time. You imagined him laugh at your worries. Of course, I care about you, Y/N. I didn’t worry much because I know that you and Doyoung like each other and I thought you were having fun, there was no reason for me to butt in, he would say. I don’t like him, you stupid idiot, I like you! you wanted to scream. “On a Monday?” you asked, even if you didn’t care about not sleeping a whole night if it meant hanging out with him.  “We have an afternoon class tomorrow” Johnny explained. “Also, I want you to meet someone,” he said after a moment with a smile. He looked almost shy. You stopped. He walked a step ahead then stopped as well. “Are you dating that girl?” you asked with a feeble voice. Johnny smiled as a reply glad that you understood so easily. “I mean, it happened all very fast and I don’t want to talk too soon, but…” he didn’t complete the phrase. “What’s wrong?” he nudged at you with his elbow seeing you shocked and silent. “I’m sure you’ll like her. She’s great. We’ve talked about you a lot and she’s excited to meet you”. You felt like crying. You felt like falling on the ground and screaming. You were sure she was very great indeed if Johnny, the mighty Johnny, Johnny fucking Suh, decided to date her. And that was the most painful thing. The fact that she was probably amazing and you had no reason to hate her. She deserved Johnny and he deserved someone like her. It finally happened. You lost him.  Johnny sighed as you wouldn’t crack a word. “We can bring Doyoung along as well” he tried to talk you into it, assuming you were just nervous.  You wanted to break something.  “Yeah, sure, why not?” you tried to smile. 

You didn’t expect Doyoung to show up. “Are you here to laugh at me?” you asked him while walking towards the local McDonald’s. It was a weird choice but the girl smiled so brightly when saying she craved fast-food that no one had the heart to object. She was just as you imagined her to be. Johnny asked you, whispering, what your opinion was, but you felt so empty inside that you couldn’t comment the way she deserved. “She’s just perfect, Johnny” you simply managed to say, because that was what he wanted to hear. He smiled sweetly, glad that you approved and turned back to her. You ended up walking behind them, forced to stare at how he wrapped her shoulder with his arm and how she wrapped his waist with hers. Doyoung was silently walking with hands in his pockets beside you. He didn’t reply to your question. “I’m sorry for yelling at you” you talked to him again after a while. “It’s alright” he replied. 

You sighed. How many times have you apologized to him already? Doyoung saw the worst in you in just two days and you already had a full-on fight, you had to thank him multiple times and apologize to him and it was the most you’ve done with basically a stranger. “I’m sorry as well. I should have chosen my words more wisely” he added. “Yes,” you agreed. He rolled his eyes at you. “I was right though, wasn’t I?” he asked, comfortable enough to lightly joke around. You saw how nervous he looked while approaching you, sure that you were still mad at him. You felt sorry. He didn’t deserve any of this.  “Yes, but you were still a dick about it” you replied with a little smile. “I still think you have no right to give off opinions” you added lifting up your chin at him. He looked at you for a second then smiled back and went silent again. You didn’t expect that. You felt like bickering with someone. You were trying to stab him a little but he didn’t care about your darts at all. He was feeling weirdly distant and sad. What was he so sad about? “Are you alright?” you asked him. He looked at you again, slightly surprised. “Yeah, why?” he asked. You shrugged. “Just checking” you replied. You walked a few steps in silence. “Are you alright?” he asked. It was the first time he alluded to the Johnny situation. His voice went a little quieter and deeper. He had never asked you how you felt before, not on the swing, not while carrying you home, not the morning after. Maybe because it was obvious before. “Do I look alright?” you asked him. He analyzed you thoroughly even if it was a rhetorical question. “Objectively, yes,” he said. “You’re good at hiding” he commented. You smiled at him as if guarding a secret you both were aware of. “I’ve learned from you,” you said. I’ve learned from you. You learned from him. To hide. To hide feelings. You could see his feelings? You knew he was hiding feelings? What does that mean? What was that? He was panicking.  When Johnny called him, Doyoung thought he wanted to fight or something. Then he asked if he was free tonight and Doyoung thought he wanted to beat him up in a parking lot. But then he mentioned a double date and Doyoung felt something he couldn’t describe with words. Shock, happiness, agonizing pain thinking about you, relief, anxiety.  “You good?” Doyoung heard Johnny’s voice at his right. “Yeah” he replied. He realized everyone was eating their food while he just stared at it. He grabbed his burger and bit down. He was not feeling hungry at all. Looking at you, he realized he wasn’t the only one.  Johnny seemed like a pretty smart guy and Doyoung couldn’t understand how oblivious he was to the situation. You were so depressed trying to eat your almost cold fries what he felt like screaming. Why didn’t you even confess your love to Johnny? What if he would have dated you? What if Johnny secretly liked you and never said it because you thought you didn’t like him back just the way you were thinking? Doyoung hated the rational part of himself that only thought about the best objective outcome instead of his own desires but he hated seeing you like that more than he hated his own unreciprocated feelings. Because even if it looked like Johnny wasn’t a problem anymore, he still was since you were so in love with him. That’s why Doyoung couldn’t feel joy at all, because nothing changed for him. He knew he could easily just insert himself into your life but would that be fair for both of you? Would it be positive to make you forget about your love so forcefully? Would he be able to stay with you knowing that you were thinking about another man? He felt nauseous. And you probably did feel that way as well as you suddenly got up. 

"I’m going to the bathroom,” you said, walking hurriedly. 

Johnny looked at you surprised. 

“Do you think she’s okay?” he asked to no one in particular.  Doyoung sighed.  “Maybe her stomach is a little upset,” said The Girl. 

“I need to go and wash my hands,” Doyoung said getting up as well. Johnny looked at his clean hands and raised an eyebrow but couldn’t make a comment since Doyoung was already walking through the bathroom doors. 

He stopped in the little corridor and peeked inside the ladies restroom. A woman was standing in front of the mirror. She looked at him as if he was a pervert. “Do you need help? The men’s one is behind you” she said. Doyoung ignored her.  Were you really having an upset stomach or were you just dramatically crying on the toilet? 

Fuck it, he thought while stepping into the bathroom. 

“Hey, young man!” the woman from before said to him. He ignored her again. 

“Y/N” he called. There was only one occupied toilet. You didn’t reply but he could hear some sniffling. 

“I’m going to call someone to take you out if you don’t-” the lady started to talk again. 

“Just shut up for a second” Doyoung replied without looking at her. “Y/N, let’s go home” he added talking to you.  He waited for a few seconds.  The door then opened slowly revealing your red nose and eyes. Doyoung sighed.  “I can’t believe you came to the ladies restroom. What are you thinking?” you commented getting out, trying to be snarky, as if you weren’t crying for the Nth time in front of him.  Doyoung was about to reply sarcastically as the only way he could communicate, especially in those types of sad and awkward situations, but the words died in his throat. 

Because you suddenly hugged him. 

Well, it wasn’t really a hug, you just grabbed his waist, almost knocking him down, and hid your face on his hoodie, sobbing. Doyoung blinked a few times not knowing what to do with his arms. He was T-posing in a McDonald’s ladies’ bathroom while a girl was crying on his chest. It was almost funny. Slowly, though, he touched your back and patted on your shoulders to calm you down. 

“Let’s go home” he whispered again. 

You sniffled and separated yourself from him. Then you blew your nose with toilet paper and looked up at him. 

“I’m a mess,” you said looking briefly at yourself in the mirror. 

“Yeah” he replied even if he thought you were cute. “It’s fine though, let’s go,” he said grabbing you by your arm. You let yourself be carried away. 

“Hey” you heard Johnny as you approached the table. Doyoung took your jacket and made you wear it. 

“What happened?” Johnny talked again. He looked very worried and it made you feel even worse. Even his girlfriend looked preoccupied. 

“She has very painful cramps right now” Doyoung answered for you putting your bag on his shoulder. “I’m taking her home,” he said. 

You looked at Doyoung at the same moment Johnny looked at you. 

“Damn” he commented. “I’m so sorry,” said the Girl. “Yeah, that sucks, Y/N” added Johnny. 

“It’s fine” you played along. “I just need some rest” you nodded as to convince them and they nodded back.  “Get well soon,” The Girl said. “See you later, ” added Johnny.  “Okay, bye,” Doyoung said, not being able to stand himself the situation. You walked away quickly as he dragged you, then you remembered that you had to act as if in pain and slowed down a little. Johnny stared at how your fingers were intertwined with Doyoung’s ones until you left. 

_____

You were still holding hands. There wasn’t any reason to do it but it gave you some emotional support so you didn’t let go. Doyoung looked as if it didn’t bother him either. 

The night was cold but the weather was good enough to have a slow walk. 

“About that date” you started. 

Doyoung winced. “Don’t worry about that. I was joking” he said. 

“I mean” you added, “maybe we can hang out tonight” you went on. 

Doyoung didn’t say anything for a few moments and just walked staring at the dark sidewalk. 

“What I wanted to say is that if I go home my roommates are going to ask questions and I don’t feel like talking right now” you explained. You didn’t want to seem as if you were begging him to hang out with you. 

Doyoung raised his gaze. “Yeah, alright” he replied. 

You sighed awkwardly. You were still asking him for a favour. Since you met him he’s only been doing stuff for you. 

“But I don’t want to be a burden. We can go separate ways if you want to. You don’t have to-” you started to mumble as to excuse yourself. 

He tugged at your hand as to make you shut up and looked at you. 

“It’s fine. I want to” he explained. 

“Ok,” you whispered. 

Then you walked in silence. What a depressing night, you thought. 

“We can watch a movie” you talked again after a while. 

“Yeah” he agreed. 

Then silence again. 

“Are we going to the cinema, or-?” you asked as you were walking towards the opposite direction from where the movie theatre was. 

“We’re going to my apartment” he commented as if it was obvious. 

You blushed and hoped he wouldn’t see. You had no reason to feel shy about it but just the wording made you feel embarrassed. Doyoung didn’t look like the type of guy to try and kiss you or worse (!) without you being comfortable and definitely not after seeing you cry about another man, but still, you’ve never been alone to some guy’s house before, besides Johnny’s. But Johnny was your best friend. Doyoung was a stranger.  Okay, not true. He was an acquaintance. Alright, you could even call him a friend. But he was still a guy. He did ask you on a date, didn’t he? You weren’t that naive. What, you thought, what if you ended up sleeping together? God. You found yourself feeling a little hot.  But then you thought about it for a moment and something inside of you shifted. Or for lack of better words, died. And you didn’t care anymore about anything. So what if you slept together? So what?

His apartment was very nice. Like, very very nice. You walked in slowly and looked around in awe.  “So,” you started. “you’re rich?” you asked while he took your jacket.  He chuckled then breathed in as if not knowing what to say. “I guess you could say that” he replied.  “I mean, you even live alone as a student. That must be great” you commented while looking at his shelves. A few books, family photos, some knick-knacks. He went away then came back with some water. He handed it to you.  You looked at his hand and laughed before accepting the glass.  “Why do you always give me water?” you asked. But you knew the answer to that. Because you were always crying. How embarrassing. 

“What do you think of her?” you asked following him to the couch. His eyes got shiny as he turned the TV on. 

“I don’t have any opinion. I don’t even know what’s her name” he answered. You knew that he probably thought you were pathetic but you really needed to talk about it with someone.  You sighed tucking yourself under the soft blanket he retrieved from his side of the couch.  “You always say you have no opinions but I can see how judgemental you are. You can be honest about your thoughts with me” you commented. It was meant to be a light joke but Doyoung looked at you with a weird gaze. 

“You’ve said that before as well” he replied. “That I hide stuff” he added. 

You looked back at him and shifted your body weight to make yourself more comfortable. 

“I mean, I am very transparent, aren’t I?” you asked laughing. “Like, embarrassingly transparent. You’re just very reserved. You could be angry or depressed right now and I wouldn’t be able to tell” you explained further. 

Doyoung didn’t comment on that. 

“That’s a skill that comes handy in situations like before” you talked again with a smile. You didn’t mean to offend him and you wanted to express that you thought it was cool. 

“I want to be like that as well,” you said. 

________

Doyoung’s heart was about to burst. He was still holding your hand and you were holding his, and you didn’t indicate as to wanting to let go and for a moment he let himself think that you were on a date together. He saw you shivering a few times and rationally he could tell it was kinda cold but his body felt so hot that he felt like taking his clothes off. He didn’t expect you to actually follow him. He imagined you getting out of that place and just go home. But you held his hand and just walked into the direction he took. It was definitely because you couldn’t think straight. You were overwhelmed and confused. But he didn’t have the heart to be like “I’m going home right now, where are you going?”. 

So he just walked. 

Then you asked him to hang out with you. Were you really in the mood to spend time with him? Was it to just not think about Johnny? He was comfortable, you said before, and he was there. It was just natural for you to use him to your own advantage. He didn’t blame you for that.  He thought about how he would have been hurt by that outcome in other circumstances but at that moment he was feeling so tired about everything that he didn’t have any energy to be hurt anymore. Use me, he thought, just use me and get better. I don’t care. You were holding his hand and walking with him, not with Johnny and not with anyone else, and that’s what mattered. 

He was feeling pretty good while you chatted away on the couch, the movie long forgotten. Your whole attention was on him and even if a part of himself knew that it was your own coping mechanism to not think about Johnny even if for an hour, he let himself think that you were actually interested in what he was saying. That you chose him specifically and not because he was happening to be there.  And then when he saw you smiling at him that way he found himself not having any more words to say. He just stared at you staring back at him. You smiled even brighter sawing him suddenly silent.  “What?” you asked chuckling. But then he saw your pupils widening slightly and he knew that you understood. His breath grew a little irregular as you leaned in slowly and stopped as close as to let him breathe in your scent.  “Y/N” he said, almost whispering. It was meant to warn you. He wanted to stop whatever you were trying to do. But it probably sounded more like a prayer. Doyoung wasn’t sure himself what he meant with that. 

You looked at him in the eyes. His chest was aching so much. He was feeling as if underwater and your kiss was the only occasion to drink in the fresh air. 

And so you kissed him. 

It was weird but he couldn’t be present in the moment as much as his heart wanted. He felt like dreaming. It wasn’t real. He felt like grabbing air with his hands and trying to run when your feet were deep buried into the soil. 

You started off gentle, almost afraid, but that delicacy soon enough turned into something more. When he sensed you getting closer to him he didn’t stop his hands from sliding around your waist and you moved again. He heard you panting against his lips and his head was empty empty empty. 

When you straddled him he lost it. He probably whined when you sat on his lap and pressed your lips on his neck. You were warm and soft and he hugged you tight against him, wanting you closer and closer. He let you take off his hoodie, place your hands on his chest, bit down on his skin, and then, he finally looked at your face again. 

And he stopped. His breath suddenly calmed down. His head got clear. 

You looked back at him with empty eyes. He saw the moment when you understood that he caught you. 

“Is it a problem for you?” you asked. “Is this too much big of a favour to ask?” you added. 

Doyoung tried to breathe in and out. Of course. 

He knew. 

He knew until a second ago, until he felt your lips on his. 

God. 

He let himself go this way. He felt sick. 

He did think to himself that it was okay for him to be used but not this way. 

No, this hurt too much. 

How could he sleep with you when you were thinking about another man? 

“You don’t want this, Y/N. It’s not the right way to get over him” he whispered. His voice came out very gentle for once. You frowned. He could tell you were embarrassed and probably on the verge of tears. 

“I just want to get over it as soon as possible” you whispered back. 

“I know it’s wrong and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry” you added getting off him and sitting back on the couch. “I’m sorry” you apologized again. 

“It’s fine,” he said. He has been saying that for a long time now. 

But he wasn’t feeling fine at all. 

[amarauder]

Criminal Girl Relates to Garfield - Percy Jackson x Reader

                                005. criminal girl relates to garfield 

PAIRING; High School AU!  Percy Jackson x Reader

REQUEST; Not Applicable

GODLY PARENT; Not Applicable

DATE; June 12th, 2020

WORD COUNT; 8053

WARNING; Bruh so freaking much. friends and families being dicks, panic attacks, crying and pubic humiliation, you're gonna read this and just keep cringing because of reader's dumb ass.

A/N; I think I like High School and Soulmate AUs too much. This isn't a soulmate AU. It was going to originally be but it just didn't match with the plot so I didn't. Still this is my first one and I had so much fun writing it. I think I just related to this reader more than normal. I think this is my favorite one shot to be honest. I'm so happy, I feel like I've fallen in love with writing again. The last few one shots I've just had the best time writing them and it's been difficult to stop writing.

TRAILER; Reader is Percy Jackson's soulmate, potentially a criminal and more than kind of cute.

REQUESTED BY; Not Applicable

-

Y/N was more than ready for this week to be over. It had started out horribly and only got worse as the days ran their course.

On Monday her Aunt's insane dog, that she had been forced to dog sit, had torn up her favorite shirt. On Tuesday she had forgotten her entire binder at home and received zeros on all of her assignments, and then one of her exams for being blamed for talking when it had really been the kid behind her. On Wednesday, Y/N was supposed to be presenting one of the most important projects of the entire semester in her first period only for her car refusing to start. Of course, when her Dad came home it ran perfectly. Thursday she had found out her position as President of the Economics Club had been handed over to some kid she didn't even know, despite how long she had been working for it. Friday, she had found out her best friend since kindergarten had lied to her face and was hanging out with a girl she loathed.

Her best friend ditching her had hurt her the most. It left an ugly slimy feeling in her chest that felt like some kid attempting to learn CPR for the first time, except she was the mannequin every time she thought of them hanging out together. Despite the chest compression, her self-depreciating thoughts never seemed to leave her. It was like she was trying to torture herself which didn't hurt any less.

To say the least, Y/N was completely drained. Blinking took way too much effort, and yawns seemed to be effortless. The kind of tired that took over after crying too much, so stress relieving that the tightness in her chest released, leaving her slap happy.

After grabbing two boxes of mac and cheese and a huge jug of orange juice, Y/N was on her way to her car. The bagger asked her if she needed any help carrying everything to her car.

She stared blankly at him for a few seconds before looking at her three items. He smiled sheepishly and Y/N felt fortunate to have been blessed with more brains than him.

It wasn't until she reached her car and caught sight of her reflection that she wondered if he had asked because she looked so miserable.

His so called thoughtfulness really didn't make her feel any better. In fact she felt worse. It was like when her Mother's wine group would come over and compare stories of who had been more disrespected. From grocers deciding they were age appropriate to buy wine without asking for an ID to being called Ma'am instead of Miss, Y/N had heard it all. Somehow it all had to do with old age and the grocery store. The wonders of Motherhood in the suburbs.

Placing her groceries on top of her car, she tried to unlatch the trunk. It wouldn't budge.

Hmm, Y/N was pretty sure she had left her it unlocked. Whatever. She wouldn't put it past herself if she had forgotten to lock it.

But when she tried to unlock it, nothing happened. Her car didn't beep or flash it's stupid lights, or anything. The battery in her key had been flickering on and off all week, it was the reason her car wouldn't start on Wednesday morning. But her Dad had said it had at least a few months of life left, not three days.

Her stomach dropped and she felt unshed tears build up in her eyes. Not now, not today. She had enough this week.

Her thumb hovered over the unlock button once more. Y/N almost didn't want to press it, because that would mean finding out her fate and she just wasn't that kind of girl.

She did it anyway. And the old piece of junk sat there like it was ready to retire to the car graveyard. Y/N wasn't ready for her freedom to retire so quickly.

Feeling her tears build up again, more rapidly this time, she dug the palm of her hand into her eyes and leaned against the car. Her throat tightened. She promised herself she wouldn't cry anymore today. She promised...

"You're okay, you're okay, you're okay," she whispered to herself, her voice to low to crack. Face screwed shut and her toes curled to will the tightness in her throat away.

The tears eventually made it through which only made her want to cry harder. She was so embarassed. Thoughts ran wild, making her panic harder to control.

How was she going to get home?

How was she going to pay for her car to be fixed?

She really didn't want to go back to walking.

Wouldn't her parents be mad?

What if this was one of those stupid kidnapping schemes that she had seen during a school assembly?

Don't be stupid. Calm down. Focus.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a lady with her dog, eye Y/N warily. A man sitting in his car with his feet propped up on the dashboard and a cigarette hanging between his finger laughed at her despair then ended up in a coughing fit. A woman ushered her child away, who was pointing at her, and gave Y/N a dirty look.

Y/N remained like that until her Mother's advice that she never took to heart rang through her, "Pick yourself up. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Life isn't that hard."

She was right and Y/N wiped her tears away hurriedly.

As the knots in her stomach washed away, a new one settled it self in her chest. She was pissed. Furious at life for making her feel like shit, betrayed by her best friend, grades flustering down to nothing, and a position she worked harder than anything in the world for was snatched away before she could even think of savoring it.

It was just shit and completely unfair.

Wiping her tears, Y/N turned towards the driver's handle and pulled on it so hard, that her feet started to slip and she fell on her but.

She could have screamed, but instead she started to curse loudly and kick her car still laying down. She just about to kick the car for the sixth time when someone said behind her, "Uhh, hey, it would be really cool if you could stop trying to destroy my car? I don't know what he did to you, but at this point I think you're in danger of giving him PTSD."

Turning around, she noticed a blurry figure. Tears were still in her eyes making it hard for her to make out who it was but she could tell closing her eyes that he felt awkward. Hell, her guardian angel, no devil at this point, probably felt awkward.

When she blinked her tears away she saw him look suprised, and stumble back a few steps as if her presence shocked him. Which was stupid because unless there was some other person trying to break into the car, she didn't know why he was acting like she had come out of nowhere.

"This is my car, dude."

The teen scratched his neck, then pressed his car keys and suddenly the piece of junk came to life. She blinked hard, trying to comprehend what had just happened in front of her.

A flash of heat surged up her body that couldn't have came up from the exhaust pipe right next to her. She couldn't have been more aggravated and embarrassed. The guy seemed to realize that, because he shifted his weight to his side as he glanced at her. He was right, she was an idiot.

Quickly mumbling an apology, she ran off into the parking lot. Her car had to be around here somewhere and Y/N had never been more than ever determined to find it, or maybe just determined to get away from this situation as soon as possible.

She found it in the exact same spot, just a few rows away. Her brain kept replaying and replaying her embarrassing moment over and over again, leaving her to cringe and try to shoo it away.

If there was a list for the most embarrassing things Y/N had ever done, this would be on the top of the list. She could imagine herself years later, watching her husband struggling to change their kid's diaper as she laughed and talked about this. But right now all Y/N wanted to do was forget that she even existed.

It almost funny the amount of relief she felt just to have her car unlock. Her car, her piece of junk did it's little half-hearted beep, but it sounded rejuvenated as if it knew what she had gone through just for it.

She started the engine, and then let her forehead rest against the wheel in relief. At least that went well.

She was in the middle of her breather when a knock on her window startled her. Y/N took a few more seconds to herself before looking up and seeing the boy from before looking more awkward than when she he was before.

She rolled down the window, and right when he opened his mouth to speak the engine died.

"No," she whispered to herself, her stomach sinking, "No, no, no."

"Um, here's your groceries?" the boy said with a smile, but Y/N only opened the engine after getting out of her car. He stood there for a second before setting them inside the drivers seat and following her. He leaned over the hood and started to hack violently. The engine was fuming and Y/N wanted to cry for what seemed the millionth time that day. "Did you beat this one up too?"

She gave him a look but he only smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, it just slips out sometimes."

"It's okay... You're a boy."

The boy smiled. Did she just notice now? "Nice observation."

"Do you know anything about cars?"

"I know they aren't supposed to smell like that."

Pursing her lips, she rolled her eyes, "Thanks, so helpful."

"I try."

Letting out a laugh of disbelief, she leaned against the car and groaned. What was she going to do know? Even though breaking into the guys car was one of extremely embarrassing, she had been filled with a little bit of hope. The shitty day would end and she could go home. But now... There was no decent solution.

"Umm, would you want a ride in my car?" Y/N raised an eyebrow and he tried to hurriedly explain, "It's just I saw the sticker on your back window and we go to the same school. My Mom would kill me if I just left you here, so..."

-

The car ride home was so awkwardly silent, Y/N had even asked for his name.

"Percy Jackson," he said and flashed her a smile that she didn't return. She was too tired, and this guy was too happy. He probably shit out sunshine rays and Y/N just... was not about that life. Plus, his name sounded irkingly familiar, as if he had been in one of her previous classes.

"Nice to meet you," she said after a while, her imaginary Mother shaking her fist at the girl during that silent moment, "I'm Y/N L/N."

"Y/N," he repeated, and she almost looked for that feeling that all her friends talked about. The one where their stomachs churned pleasantly and it seemed that they don't even remember what happened before and after seeing him. All the memories from that day were separate. The life they knew before and after her friends met the one. But there was nothing, no shocking realization or fireworks. She could have just met Zeus himself and Y/N wouldn't be able to tell the difference. "Nice name."

"Thanks," she whispered quietly and played with the hem of her shoe. She had originally placed it on the dashboard but Percy sucked in a harsh breath and then the foot was back balancing on her thigh.

"Ya," and then it was awkward silence again.

Inside her mind, Y/N was cringing. This boy was nice, way too nice, and probably the most good looking kid she had ever seen. It was a wonder how she had never noticed him, or at the very least seen him around her school. Now, she had murdered his car, almost broke into it, screamed at him about her engine, and he decides to drive her home because well, she didn't know. It shouldn't matter because she was just repaying him by being awkward.

"Umm, why are you being so nice to me?"

What? God, why was she such a nerd? And an introvert. She needed to go out more.

"Uh," he said and glanced at her as she pointed to the left and he put his blinker on, "I don't know what you mean."

"I beat up your car, probably would have made the stupid alarm go off if you hadn't stopped me and then you follow me to give me my groceries that I had forgotten. My car doesn't start and you offer me a ride home even though you don't know my name." Y/N finished with a huff. Surprisingly, she felt better as if she had just finished crying and got it all off her chest.

"So?"

"So? It's not very high-school boy of you."

Percy laughed, "Well, I'll try harder to be more high school boy if you want."

"No, I like whatever you've got going on here," She said and waved her hand at him.

"Good. I don't feel like pulling over and dropping you off at a random street. Besides, Mom would be pissed at me. When I tell her what happened today, because I'm sorry but I have too. She's going to wonder what took me so long. But, umm," he paused for a second to collect his thoughts, "When I tell her what happened, she's gonna ask if I brought you home or not, and this way I won't have to lie."

He flashed another smile at her and she felt a slight tingle on her face that her friends talked about. But then again, maybe it was her nose going numb from the air conditioning. It was like this boy secretly lived in Alaska. "I'm a shit liar, by the way."

"Couldn't have guessed."

"What gave me away?"

Y/N stared at him for a second before laughing, "You said it."

He had the audacity to look embarrassed, yet please at the same time. "Well, you looked like you needed some cheering up."

Her laugh died from her eyes as the words sunk in. It was not the first time Percy put his foot in his mouth, sometimes he wished he could actually think before he would speak. He would try, but it's not socially acceptable at his age for long periods of silence in between conversations to take place so he can run over his words.

She huffed and crossed her arms, and it felt like Percy's insides were crushed between the space of her chest and twisted limbs. His hands tightened on the steering wheel. He gave her a gentle little thing that somewhat resembled the corner of his lips titling up.

Percy didn't know her at all, but she seemed like the girl that was disappointed with the world. Y/N was too pretty to be disappointed. Percy's Mom had always told him that the prettiest people in the world were dreamers, and the world never held up to their expectations.

Percy didn't really like that for Y/N.

She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, her face never wavering from the road ahead.

"Umm, what's your favorite animal?"

He took Y/N so off guard that she answered, "A cat."

"Why a cat?"

Y/N hesitated, who questions their favorite animal? "Umm, because I relate to them, I think."

"Why because you like lasagna and are scared of accordions?"

"I'm sorry, what?" He had her full attention now. She wasn't even trying to pretend to be mad at him. Her entire body, despite the restrictions of the seatbelt, was turned towards him.

"Have you never heard of Garfield?"

"Of course, I have." Y/N answered, "Who hasn't? But I thought Garfield was scared of scales and diets."

"He is. But he's also scared of accordions. I have to impress you with my extensive Garfield knowledge somehow right?" Y/N snickered, her fingers massaging her forehead. This boy was something else, she liked it.

"Well, do you relate to Garfield?" he asked a minute later.

Y/N laughed so hard that the back of her head hit the seat and she snorted, which only set her into another laughing fit. "I'm sorry," she said still giggling a little bit, "It's just who relates to Garfield?"

"A girl who tries to break into cars, I guess."

Y/N didn't think Percy had it in him to be so sarcastic. After spending a little under fifteen minutes with him, she had judged him as the boy who apologized despite doing nothing wrong and had fallen in love with his best friend but would never tell them. The boy who lived next door type.

He was sweet, and funny, and so incorrigibly cute that Y/N was shocked that she had been able to have a decent conversation with him.

So, she did what she did best with cute boys: pretend she wasn't attracted to them.

She shoved his arm even though he was driving, ignored him after with a fake pout, and even refused to say goodbye to him as she got out of the car. He had laughed at all of her antics and kept repeating his goodbyes over and over, getting louder and louder with each one.

After the door was shut, she snuck over to the window where the curtains were drawn and peeked through. He was still there, staring at the door. She watched him until he drove off.

A surreal giggle peeked through her, her smile seeming unable to wipe off. Her body thrummed with energy. For the first time in a while, her chest felt light and airy, as if drugged with hope.

-

The magical energy in the form of Percy Jackson had worn off by the time school started that Monday. She had gotten to school as late as possible that day, her stomach twisting and turning itself. The last thing Y/N wanted to do was see her best friend. Y/N had ignored her the entire weekend, all her calls and texts had gone ignored. Her own actions had almost been surprising to her, she had a knack for forgiving others who didn't deserve her mercy. Y/N supposed she had finally had enough.

Fortunately, she had gotten through the entire first half of the day without seeing her by ignoring her texts and calls, dodging her attempts at meeting Y/N at her own locker, and even purposely coming into Y/N's class with the excuse of office aid.

It was now lunchtime and Y/N was lucky enough to have her first meeting of the Environmental Club scheduled today. Her best friend would never even think of stepping in here, Y/N had too many good friends who would love to give her a good shove.

Even though she was thankful to have somewhere to hide from her friend, Y/N was anxious to enter the classroom. Her nerves felt fuzzy from toes to her hairline, which only made her more nervous. Y/N had a habit of stumbling over her words when she was nervous, and she did not need that today.

The meeting room was just an empty classroom with her biology teacher from freshman year eating a sandwich in the corner of the classroom. Y/N was almost 100% sure he was a biker version of Santa Claus. Sure, he was a lot less generous with his grades, but he looked exactly like the Santas at the mall just with tattoos and a tommy bahama shirt.

The turnout varied. There were the usual, Y/N, Triton the President of the club, this random freshman named Tyson, Grover and his girlfriend. That was about it. Sometimes it was just them. Other times, usually when there was pizza, a lot more people showed up.

Today was one of those days. A group of giggling freshman girls eyed Triton appreciatively, while a girl named Ella and Tyson went over notes in the corner. Grover smiled and waved from the pizza stand and Y/N grimaced but waved back.

Gods, this was going to be at the top of her list of embarrassing moments, right next to having a mental breakdown with Percy's car.

Triton started off the meeting with his usual greetings of putting Y/N in charge. He grinned down at her menacingly once he announced she would be taking over the rest of the meeting. She had never wanted to flip off someone so much that Y/N pressed her hand against her thigh and flipped him off secretly.

Triton moved off the stand and sat on his phone by Tyson and the freshman girls, they giggled and moved closer to him.

She rolled her eyes and smiled at everyone from the platform despite her trembling fingers and her tongue feeling as if it weighed tons.

Y/N tried to focus on the light from the windows lighting up dust like tiny stars and the way the crank from the air conditioning reminded her of boring days in this classroom where there wasn't the threatening future looming over her.

Triton expected her to announce her own failure. She wanted to cry.

Triton was the biggest asshole she had ever met. He had been held back so many times that no one truly knew how old he was, and nobody dared to ask. The one thing he somewhat cared about was this club. He had been President for the past how many years he had been here despite that he did nothing.

As it was her Senior year and Y/N had never worked so hard to keep a club going, she decided to run for President. It turned out that Triton was finally graduating but it never occurred to him that he would have to give up his position. Y/N had never seen him so mad in her life, and he decided to punish her for his graduation.

She took a breath and smiled at everyone. She could do this. "Hey guys. So thank you for coming today. Pizza will be served at the end of the meeting, as per usual." She said and leaned against the podium. Her voice was shaking but Y/N had to pretend she didn't realize for her own sanity. Looking more casual would hopefully calm her down. Maybe looking around the crowd would help. "Umm, today we are revealing next year's President which is really exciting-" As people started to clap, she choked on air, and suddenly she was stuck in a coughing fit struggling to catch a breath. Percy had been sitting in the back. They had made eye contact and then she had forgotten how to breathe.

Hands were on her back, and she was guided outside the classroom then sat down by the lockers. The feet left and she coughed some more but it died down. The tickle in her throat felt like someone was itching her throat with a feather. Y/N had to clear her throat multiple times to try to get it to go away but nothing worked. Her lungs burned as she filled them with air. She felt her hands shaking violently again and she leaned her head against the lockers.

She hadn't even gotten to the announcement part.

A water bottle was handed to her but she didn't move to open it. Pretty, tan hands did it instead, she watched them languidly.

"I think I have a knack for creating your breakdowns," Percy said with a smile. She looked up at him with her hand still against the locker. Her lips felt too heavy to give him a real smile, so she settled for a shuddering breath and closed her eyes. "I don't know about you, but sleeping in the hallways isn't really ideal."

Y/N snorted and her chest fluttered. She sat up then and took the water. Her throat was so parched it burned as the water went down.

"Ya, I'm not one for naps on floors that haven't been cleaned since the school opened either. Just when I start yacking so hard, you have to bring me outside."

Percy laughed and it was so contagious that she caught herself giggling with him.

"How's Garfield?"

"Garfield?" Y/N questioned.

"Ya, you know," Percy said and stuffed his hands into his hoodie. She wondered how often he did that. "Garfield, your car."

"What?" Y/N said laughing as she looked at him. He was already looking at him and Y/N hurriedly turned towards the lockers in front of her again. Yay, now she made things even more awkward. But Y/N couldn't help it, he really liked eye contact and Y/N didn't. End of story. "I've never named my car anything."

"I had a feeling. You don't seem the type, so I named him for you. Garfield in honor of your favorite animal."

Y/N hit him with the water bottle. If any other person had done this, then they probably would have remembered to put the cap on. It was too bad she was a world class idiot. However, to her horror, Y/N had only realized that would happen once it did.

"Shit, I'm so sorry." Y/N scrambled around for anything to dry the water with but all she found was a disgustingly dirty straw wrapper and a dried piece of gum. Y/N didn't know him that well, but she figured he wouldn't want to use that. She settled for using her own shirt instead.

Percy was laughing the entire time, and was pushing away her hands. It was like Percy was made just to embarrass her, as if baby bunnies were going to die everyday if she didn't embarrass herself every time he was around. "Y/N, Y/N," he repeated, grabbing her hands and placing them in his lap, "It's fine." She wouldn't look up at him and continued to look at their hands. He was so close to her that her focus had gone out the window. Her hands were abuzz and Y/N felt another coughing fit coming along.

It was just like her friends had explained. Oh god, it was exactly the same. Her tirade of a crush smashing Y/N with the weight of it.

"Y/N, I don't care honestly," her heart pounded in her throat and Y/N started to laugh nervously. She was screwed. "If anything it will just piss off Octavian which makes this even better." Percy said, mistaking her panic for spilling water on him. Gods, he probably thought she was a freak.

Fortunately, Grover came into the room. She had never been more thankful for him, Y/N had a feeling that if Percy spend anymore time this close to her she was going to either faint or have another coughing fit, maybe even both. "Come on, Percy. Triton just announced that you were President, he wants a little speech."

"Speech?"

Grover shrugged, "That's what he said. Although, I have a feeling that you could tell him that the world was dying and he would be crying tears of happiness."

He patted Y/N's head, and she tried to engrain this feeling into her brain. "You'll be fine right."

She nodded, and his hands left her. It was like a light switch had turned on and suddenly her brain started working again.

Y/N grabbed Percy's wrist before he left, "You're the President."

Percy nodded and Y/N muttered a little, "Oh," under her breath. She didn't know quite how to feel anymore. How had she not noticed before? It must have been why his name sounded so familiar, but she couldn't put a finger on where she had remembered him from.

Percy went to kneel next to her again, but Grover cleared his throat. He looked torn, and looked at Y/N then Grover and back again before leaving with a hand on her shoulder. She didn't shy away but wouldn't look at him either.

Just as they crossed the threshold Y/N heard Grover tell Percy that Y/N was supposed to be President. Her lip quivered, but she pressed them together. She could practically feel Percy's glance at her. She wanted to hit Grover in the back of the head and also wanted to run away. If she wasn't so emotionally drained she probably would have.

-

Y/N met her fate at the end of the third period. Her next class was a free period, fortunately. It gave her just enough time to wait in line for the food line.

"Hey, criminal girl," someone whispered into her ear. She just about jumped four feet.

She turned around to see Percy. Her chest hurt a little, and she wasn't sure it's from the scare or Percy giving her all of his attention. Y/N settled for both.

"Umm, hey," she said and eyed the two boys behind him. The pair looked almost identical, except for their different sized scars on their face, and the one on the left was taller. They were giggling like elementary school children and making suggestive faces at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Hoping to cut in line with you," Percy says, a plea in his voice.

Y/N meant in a general, in a what are you doing here talking to me? kind of way. If Y/N were Percy, she would have stayed as far away from his as possible. But then again, she knew that wasn't true. Percy could have told her he was half god and the son of the god of fish poop and Y/N would have swooned.

"What are you doing here?"

She gave him a look when he started to snicker, then marched past him and threw out her hand with a smile, "Y/N L/N."

Both boys looked shocked that she had started to talk to them and Y/N couldn't lie. She was just as surprised by her actions. Fortunately, they didn't seem to mind and kickstarted into action. The taller one of the left with a faded scar running down the side of his face said, "Luke Castellan. Nice to meet the girl Perseus hasn't stopped talking about for the last few days."

"Your name is Perseus?" Y/N asked a shit eating grin creeping up her face. Percy looked like he just found out Gaea was coming after him. She turned back to the Luke kid who had turned red from trying not to laugh, "I want to personally thank you for that information. It's priceless."

Percy grumbled.

"Hey Y/N," the other one said. She was surprised he knew who she was. Jason was less boisterous than the other two, but still just as mischievous. He had a a type of quiet confidence and grace to him that made her want to hang onto every word she gave him. Y/N also spent a day with him each month, trying to figure out the balance of money she could spend on the club. "So, you're the girl who tried to steal the piece of junk."

"Hey!" Percy exclaimed, "Leave Blackjack out of this!"

"Blackjack?" Y/N questioned.

"My car," Percy said softly to her then scratched his neck.

She laughed quietly, then studied the three boys. "Are you two related?" Y/N asked and pointed to Jason and Luke.

"Nah, I'm dating Jason's sister but Percy and Lightning Skull over here are cousins."

Y/N nodded, processing this information. How had she not seen Percy around? Jason Grace was the Senior Class President, she had to attend monthly meetings to go over the Environmental Club treasury.

A voice cut through their conversation, making Y/N look over Luke's shoulder to see who it was. Piper McClean, the TV anchor and Speech and Debate finalist was walking over with a smile. Her grin was directed at Jason, but just being in the crossfire felt like a gift.

It seemed Jason felt that way too because he suddenly straightened up and turned red in under 2.5 seconds. He walked away with a halfhearted gesture that could have passed as a wave goodbye.

Luke snickered then pointed towards the potential couple with his thumb, "I'm gonna go find Thals while the idiot is love sick."

The line had moved up while Y/N had been distracted, and she flashed a smile at her fellow seniors then ran up to join Percy. He was already forking out some money to pay for whatever food he wanted.

"They seem nice."

"Hmm," Percy said, not looking up from his wallet, "Oh, ya. I've known Jason since Summer and Luke for even longer."

"I thought you and Jason were cousins."

"We are," Percy said and smiled triumphantly when he found a ten dollar bill. She couldn't help but bask in her contentment. Her breaths were coming in deeper and easier. She felt like she had fallen into Sally from Spongebob's little bubble house, there were no threats to take away this short-lived happiness at the moment. "My Dad and my uncle don't get along. Besides, my Dad left when I was young. It wasn't until Jason came over the Summer after meeting at Summer camp and my Mom hugged him for longer than normal that she told us."

Y/N didn't know what to say. She was fortunate enough to have all her family members with her, it wasn't perfect and her parents seemed to really adore fighting. But something is better than nothing. "Shit," she paused, "I know we don't know each other too well, but I'm sorry, Percy."

Percy shrugged with a smile. His hands were buried deep into his hoodie. He looked like the main protagonist in some cheesy coming of age movie, where a cheerleader decides to scoop up the hot but oddball kid in her Shakespeare class. "I mean, you can't really miss something you never had."

Y/N tilted her head from side to side and considered his words, "I never thought of it that way."

"That's why I am known as a secret genius in these halls."

Y/N laughed, "Known? My ass." She was impressed with herself. Y/N hadn't embarrassed herself yet, and she even had introduced herself to one if his friends.

"No one's gonna know the new kid."

Now, that took Y/N by surprise, "You're new? That makes so much more sense." She leaned her head against her hand which was resting on the sill of the window as they finally reached the front of the line.

It was why she had never noticed him before, why Jason and Luke were hanging out together, why Percy knew Jason. It just all seemed to connect under seconds.

"Hey Rachel!" Y/N grinned, perking up from seeing her old friend. Rachel had been on her sports team freshman year. Y/N spent most of her time on the bench, still did, but Rachel had been there along with her so it was okay. She was a good friend and an even funnier person. Rachel had no licensee, which left Y/N's sophomore season screaming the entire way to their away games.

"Hi," she smiled and Y/N wanted to laugh. Rachel's smile was incredibly contagious, something about it being too mischievous to be anything good. "What can I get for you two?"

They ordered and Rachel nor Percy wouldn't let her pay. "It will make your payment easier for breaking into my car. Then you can drive me home and buy me lunch. Maybe even a little beating up the car sesh."

Y/N looked at Rachel wide eyed. Her heart picked up at the thought of spending time with him outside of school. "You never said anything about a repayal." She objected, and tried to swipe food from him.

He pivoted and held everything over his head, out of her reach. She crossed her arms and glared at him. His green eyes twinkled, and she marveled at how shockingly handsome he was. It truly wasn't fair. If she had his beauty, she would have used it to her advantage but then again, he probably does.

"Well, you kind of beat up my car, criminal girl. I was hoping for at least a thank you."

Y/N rolled her eyes. He had this way of backing her into her own corners. He turned his back and continued his purchase, shooting a victorious look over his shoulder as the receipt printed out.

Y/N stood alone by the cashier for a whiplashed moment. Jesus Christ. What the fuck was going on? She felt like she was meeting Percy over again. He acted so differently than when he was in the car.

It was like she'd been sucked into a tornado, tossed around, and then spit out alone in the front of the lunch line.

He threw away the cover at the trashcan and Y/N reluctantly walked up next to him, the condiments were right next to the trash can. He grinned at her and she struggled not to return it. "We're going to spend a lot more time together, so you're going to have to turn that frown upside down."

Y/N snickered and elbowed him. He grinned and leaned against the trash can. She eyed him and wrinkled her nose. So disgusting.

He quickly got off it, as if he hadn't realized what he was going. Percy brushed off the sleeve of his hoodie then smelled it. It only made Y/N laugh harder and shake her head. "What do you mean spend more time together?"

"Well, one you owe me," he said and shot her a look. The smirk on her face made her wary. "And the Environmental Club rulebook states that co-presidents have to spend loads of time together."

He was walking backwards and Y/N couldn't lie she was impressed until he stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk. "Well, it's a good thing I'm not co-President then."

"What if I told you, you were." Percy said, studying her. Her head shot up so fast, her vision blurred. It was as if an airplane from the sky had just dropped a bunch of wooden skewers right on her. They didn't hurt her, she was more shocked than anything. "Grover told me what happened and I just thought it was entirely unfair what Triton did to you. And you're fun to be around so during my speech I said that you were co-president but couldn't come in cause you were still coughing. Everyone seemed to believe it, so."

Y/N was quiet. She had never been so touched in her life. Being everyone's second choice sucked, but Percy had just admitted he thought she was fun. For a lot of people it wouldn't seem like such a big deal but Y/N felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

"I mean, you don't have to do it, if you don't want to. I can always tell everyone it had been a mistake. You're just a cool person and stuff. I would have a better time being president if you were doing it with me."

"I'd love to, Percy."

"Really?" Percy looked up from where he was tracing the sidewalk with his shoe. She had never seen him so happy yet shy. Y/N bit her cheek to keep herself from smiling too big. She felt tingly all over, it was stupid but she liked it. It wasn't electricity like how her friends had said they felt with their boyfriends, Y/N had never been electrocuted so she didn't know how it felt. But somehow she knew that Percy was more than just tiny shocks.

-

They were assigned their first project together a week later. Co-Presidency was a lot more fun than she had thought. Percy had used the excuse of inviting Y/N over to his table for lunch to 'discuss tactics'. Y/N knew that wasn't what he meant but she didn't mention anything.

Her best friend had asked to speak to her when she was studying with Percy. It was more like Percy whining about how senior year was supposed to be easy and how his life was so hard, while Y/N asked him questions from her stack of flashcards.

But the second Percy saw the panic on her face, he had asked her politely if she could talk to Y/N later because he had a test next period and really needed the help.

Y/N had thought he was bad at lying.

Once she left, Percy had put an arm around her and brought Y/N closer to him. He whispered into her ear, "I got you, criminal girl."

She smiled at her lap, and risked a glance at him. He was staring at her as if she was some question on a test he couldn't figure out. He held her intimacy of being understood in his hands.

She leaned into him.

-

At the end of the day, Percy met Y/N by her car. Their cars were amongst the last few left, except for some of the athletic representation and staff. Her shoes squeak against the pavement, but he doesn't even flinch; he just smiles at her.

She knocks his hat down as a makeshift greeting and a way to distract him so she doesn't see her double-checking it is in fact her car. Y/N already made a fool of herself before, she didn't want to do it again.

Unfortunately, he notices because he snickers behind her and jabs her sides. Her heart leaps into her throat then drops down to her feet, like some rollercoaster ride. She has to lean against the car to calm her racing breath. He laughs even harder at that and grabs her keys from her purse before getting in the passenger seat.

Once Y/N feels confident enough that she won't have a stroke around him, she gets in the car. Percy already has plugged his phone into apple car play and is playing some dumb song from his playlist. She faintly recognizes it as some song from the Little Mermaid.

"I don't think I needed the keys to get in here, did I?"

Y/N laughs and starts it, fortunately Garfield doesn't stall, "Probably not." She is about to pull out when she remembers that Percy is still in her car. "Now, get out. I have to go home."

"To do what?"

Y/N huffs and feels embarrassment climbing up her spine like the slimy snake in Adam and Eve, encouraging her to make up some lie so she can look cooler. But unlike them she doesn't fall into that pit, "I dunno."

"Okay, so no plans for the rest of the night then."

Y/N gives him a look that lets him know he isn't even a quarter as casual as he thinks he is. Percy takes it in stride, since Y/N answers his question despite his glaring obviousness. "I mean the only thing I planned on was going home and finishing my book, unless someone has a better idea."

She hopes Percy supposes he's supposed to be that someone, but sadly, he hasn't thought this far ahead into the conversation. He fumbles, stammering out little nonsensical half-sentences, but Y/N is blissfully unbothered. "Don't we have to work on the project?" His head is leaning against the headrest and Y/N wonders how someone stuttering can look so casual, and composed, and pretty.

He lights up then, and Y/N smiles unconsciously. Her heart beats a bit faster when his eyes met her own. She doesn't look away, and she feels this pull. The rest of the world turns into white noise, non-existent and unimportant. Y/N wants to reach out and touch him, just feel his skin against her own. It's addicting and exhilarating. "Ya," his voice comes out deeper than normal, and he has to clear his throat before speaking again, but even then it comes out softer than normal. He's doing this thing with his eyes, it makes her stomach flutter. And even though she shouldn't, she wanted to kiss him. "That's a good idea."

They stared at each other unapologetically as they sat there. Her eyes traveled from his aqua green eyes that resembled the ocean so much that she felt a serene feeling wash over her, as if she had just taken a whiff of salt water. Then, she realized that it was just Percy. Something about knowing how he smelled made her heart pound. She wondered how he kissed, whether he liked to go fast or slow. She knew that with him it wouldn't matter to her. Her eyes moved down to his throat and watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. She saw the tilt of his lips and a flash of a dimple, the dip of his collarbone, the rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing.

By the time she looked back up, neither of them moved, even though Percy had just admitted that he wanted to leave.

And then suddenly he was moving. He put his phone in the cup holder, and his fingers brushed against hers in a split second of what felt like life. Then he slid across the seat and slipped her cheeks into his warm hands, his fingers raked through the back of her hair, and Percy kissed Y/N.

He barely touched her. Just a light brushing of lips against hers, the slightest feel of his breath on her face.

It shot through her in milliseconds. Even though it was just a press of lips, her breathing was ragged.

His hands were still stuck in her hair, and he was still so close to her. It made her a little breathless.

They stayed there, just taking each other in, neither moving or breaking eye contact. He looked at her like it was work not to look at Y/N. It's silent until it's not.

"You know those people you just sort of... vibe with?" Percy whispered, his eyes closing as he leans his forehead against hers. Her breath shudders.

She was glad he asked the question before invading her personal space again, her focus always went out the window. "Vibe with?" She giggles a little at the choice of word.

But Percy doesn't, he looks at her with a kind of seriousness that silences her immediately. Then, she thinks about his question, really thinks about it. Y/N was familiar with it. There are some people that when you meet you just click with, their vibes just vibe with yours. Those are the people you want to keep in forever because at the end of the day, they are who you want to be and Percy is more herself than she is.

But instead of staying that she just nods, and their noses brush. His lips quirk up. "Well, you are that person for me, I think."

Y/N smiles, and plants one of him. When she peels herself away from him, he chases her lips and she lets him. Choosing instead to murmur against his, "You're that person for me too."

[ghost-in-the-hella]

I hope it's cool for me to drop another one, you just write them so well. Z: “Zip me up?” PriceMarsh

Absolutely! Prepare for a near-lethal dose of pricemarsh fluff.

CW for referenced homophobia and implied internalized homophobia. Also references to Rachel’s death because I can’t not at least mention that.

---

There’s no reason for Chloe to feel so nervous. It’s only prom. She’s never been one of those girls who considers their high school prom to be a pinnacle of her life to be surpassed only by her eventual and inevitable wedding day. Before she and Kate started dating, Chloe would’ve laughed at the idea of even going to prom. She was way too cool for all that mainstream, cliche high school shit even before she dropped out.

But here she is, sitting in the cab of her truck in the parking lot for the girls’ dorms, sweating through her tuxedo shirt as she tries to work up the nerve to go meet her prom date. Nervous. She and Kate have been official for a few good months now, but they’ve never done anything this, well, official. Chloe bought a corsage and everything. She’s wearing her dad’s old powder blue tuxedo from his prom, taken off mothballs for the occasion (lucky for her he was a total beanpole when he was in high school; Joyce barely had to take it in at all). It’s fucking go time.

She flicks her lighter a few times to steady her nerves. God, she wants a cigarette. But she knows Kate hates the smell even though she tries not to complain, and she wants tonight to be perfect. Not for herself, of course - she’s still too much of a hardass punk to care about going to prom, much less about having it be some kind of magical experience - but for Kate. Because Kate cares about going to prom, and Kate deserves a perfect night. She deserves, at the very least, a prom date who doesn’t smell (and taste) like an ashtray. If Kate’s going to risk outing herself to her family with prom photos of her with an obvious lesbian on her arm, well, Chloe’s going to be the best goddamn arm candy she can be.

She tosses her lighter into the glove box and switches off her stereo, silencing the pump up mix she’d been playing to get psyched. She takes a deep breath to ground herself. Okay. Okay. Now it’s go time.

She grabs her tuxedo jacket off the passenger side of the bench seat and slings it on as she opens the door and hops out into the parking lot. She pulls out her phone and texts Kate. 

Me: im here

Me: u ready to wreck shit up w ur hella hot prom date?

Kate: Almost :)

Kate: I need your help with something. Can you come up?

Chloe suppresses the instinct to shout NO EMOJI and restricts herself to a polite: sure

She checks herself out one last time in her side mirror. Her hair’s freshly dyed and combed to a silky sheen, every strand perfectly in place. She’s got a tasteful amount of eyeliner on, like any good pirate, and it makes the blue of her eyes pop. The tux looks surprisingly good for something that’s been packed up in the attic for longer than she’s been alive, and it accents her hair and her eyes both. 

“Your father would be so happy for you. I wish he could’ve seen you.”

Chloe swallows down the sudden lump in her throat. She already sobbed her eyes out enough when Joyce was helping her get ready; she’s not picking up her prom date with raccoon eyes if she cries her eyeliner into a mess (again). She adjusts her lapels (what was it with the late seventies and ridiculous lapels?!) and her blue butterfly boutonniere and strides toward the dorms. 

There are several people standing outside, copping a last smoke before prom. Victoria Chase is one of them, flanked by two girls Chloe only vaguely recognizes. She’s pretty sure the bottle blonde smoked her out once at a Vortex party after she’d lost track of Rachel, but she’s not sure they ever exchanged names. Victoria flicks some ash off her cigarette as Chloe nears, but she pointedly avoids Chloe’s gaze rather than engaging her. So, still kind of an ice queen but maybe she’s learned a modicum of civility in the wake of the absolute clusterfuck that was last semester, between her best friend getting arrested along with her favorite teacher for a gross assortment of sex crimes. And murder.

Chloe’s stomach twists violently at the memory. Fuck, last fall was a shitshow. She’s pretty sure she wouldn’t have survived learning about Rachel’s murder (officially “death by misadventure” because the Prescotts have lawyers out their ass, but Chloe’s nobody’s fool) without Kate’s shoulder to cry on. Chloe still doesn’t believe in god, but if she did she’d say that Kate’s been an absolute godsend.

Chloe spares the girls by the door a quiet nod in greeting as she passes, and two out of three return it (fuck you very much, too, Unnamed Brunette Sidekick). She climbs the stairs to the second floor and hustles to Kate’s door. Her whiteboard is blank today, so Chloe takes a moment to draw a cartoon heart on it before she knocks.

“Chloe?”

“The one and only,” she replies.

“It’s open; can you let yourself in? Alice is being a handful.”

“Ooh, bunny shenanigans!” Chloe opens the door and slips into the room, closing the door swiftly behind her in case Alice is in danger of escaping. Alice’s cage is, indeed, empty, and the bunny is nowhere in sight. What Chloe can see, however, is about half of Kate poking out from beneath her bed. She shouldn’t laugh. She really shouldn’t. She does anyway. Kate’s legs just look so formal as they stick out from beneath her bed at awkward angles, politely wrapped in dark tights and the jumble of what is clearly a very pretty dress that deserves better than to be mangled and coated in dust before it can even get its moment in the spotlight.

Kate giggles, so at least she’s aware of the ridiculousness of the situation and probably isn’t mad at Chloe. “She just will not go back in her cage! Can you help?” Kate flails out a hand in Chloe’s general direction.

Chloe crouches next to the bed and takes Kate’s hand, helping to slide her out from under it. “Hey, bun-bun,” she calls softly to the bunny beneath Kate’s bed. “Your favorite person is here! Come say hello!”

Kate gasps in mock offense and swats Chloe’s arm. “Her second favorite person, thank you!”

Alice hops tentatively out from under the bed and wiggles her perfect little nose at Chloe. “Ah-ha!” Chloe reaches down and gently picks her up. “Got you, you little rascal. Were you making life difficult for your momma?” She gives Alice a nuzzle.

“She’s been such a naughty bunny tonight,” Kate sighs. “I can’t tell you how many times she tried to nibble my dress. And poor Alyssa! Alice got half her corsage before either of us figured out what was happening.”

“Aww, I missed Alyssa?”

“Sorry; she had to finish her own makeup. She did mine, too. Is it too much? I haven’t gotten a chance to check.”

Chloe looks over at Kate and nearly topples over onto her ass, bunny and all. Kate looks beautiful, but that’s nothing unusual; she always looks beautiful. The subtle makeup that Alyssa’s used on her sets off her natural beauty perfectly, understated but lovely as always. Her hair’s in a braid with loose tendrils framing her face, which is a style Chloe’s never seen on her before and definitely could get used to seeing. And her dress is… Well. It’s a lovely dress; Chloe’s no great authority on dresses - she hasn’t worn one willingly since she was about four - but she can tell that much. It’s definitely picked up some dust here and there from Kate’s adventure under her bed, but it’s still obviously a nice dress. Tasteful, of course, or at least it would be if it were zipped in the back.

Which it definitely isn’t. 

On anyone else, it would still be a modest look. But on Kate… This is by far the most of her that Chloe’s seen in months of dating. Kate’s very much a “take it slow” kind of person, and even though historically Chloe’s tended to be more of a “take it as soon and as often as I can get it” kind of person she respects Kate’s boundaries and is happy to let her girlfriend set the pace. So getting an eyeful of Kate’s naked collarbones, the round curve of an exposed shoulder, the suggestion of a bared back is basically the Kate Marsh equivalent of a nip slip.

“Um.”

“Oh, no, is it too much? I asked her not to do anything too excessive…”

“No, no, makeup’s fine. Great, even. You look… amazing.” Chloe wobbles onto her feet and holds out a hand to help Kate up. She presses a kiss into Alice’s soft fur and walks her over to her open cage. “Okay, cage time for bunnies. No more mischief tonight.” She tucks Alice inside and locks the cage door behind her.

“You’re so good with her,” Kate says, wrapping her arms around Chloe’s waist from behind. Normally she’d burrow her face into Chloe’s back, but she restrains herself and Chloe appreciates the effort to preserve the integrity of her suit even as she misses the contact. “This is the best behaved she’s been all night.”

“What can I say? You’re her mom; of course she’s going to rebel. Me, I’m more like the cool aunt.”

“Hmm. Cool step-mom, maybe.”

Chloe’s face warms with blush. She reaches down to place her hands over Kate’s and gives them an affectionate squeeze. “You, uh, you almost ready to go, babe?”

“Almost.” Kate pulls back and Chloe turns around to face her. It’s a struggle, but she keeps her eyes fixed on Kate’s face even as they long to trace the delicate, graceful line of her clavicles. Then Kate turns her back to Chloe, glancing back at her over her shoulder with a soft smile. “Zip me up?”

Chloe blinks stupidly for several seconds before she answers with a silent nod. Her mouth is too dry to speak human words. She has to close her eyes and collect herself for a moment when Kate turns her head away again, waiting patiently for her assistance. Her hands are actually shaking as she reaches for Kate, which is stupid. She’s literally stripped women before. She’s just helping one put more clothes on. Her hands shouldn’t be shaking over that.

She tenderly sweeps Kate’s braid aside with one hand, draping it forward over her shoulder to keep it clear of the zipper. Her fingertip barely skirts against the bared skin of Kate’s back, but she can feel her warmth like a brand. Chloe takes a deep breath in and blows it out slowly to steady herself as she reaches for Kate’s zipper pull. It’s only when she sees Kate squirm slightly that she realizes she’s released her breath directly against Kate’s exposed back. She freezes.

“It’s okay,” Kate says when she feels Chloe tense up. 

Chloe tries to force herself to relax. She attempts to ease the zipper up and it catches within the first inch. Tentatively, she reaches to brace one hand against Kate’s hip for leverage. The zipper slides free and Chloe delicately zips up the back of Kate’s dress. It traces the elegant line of her spine up toward the perfect points of her shoulder blades (Chloe notes two small birthmarks on Kate’s left just above her bra and suppresses the urge to lean down and kiss each in turn). 

Chloe reaches around to gently guide Kate’s braid back to its rightful place when she’s done. She leans in boldly to press a kiss to Kate’s (still bare) shoulder, pausing millimeters away to give Kate time to signal her yes or no. Kate gives a small but unambiguous nod and Chloe kisses her shoulder firmly. Kate reaches her other arm across to tangle fingers in Chloe’s hair, holding her there gently for a moment.

Kate gives a contented sigh when Chloe pulls back, slipping her fingers free from Chloe’s blue locks. “Sorry if I messed up your hair.”

“Worth it,” Chloe tells her with a grin. She steals a quick moment to check her hair in Kate’s mirror, prompting a knowing giggle from her girlfriend. The damage is minimal; definitely worth it. She tidies it with a few quick sweeps of her hands. 

Kate steps into the frame and slips an arm around Chloe’s waist. Chloe reciprocates with an arm around Kate’s shoulders. “What do you think?” Kate asks. “Prom Queens?”

Chloe wrinkles her nose. “I’ll be happy as long as they don’t dump pig’s blood on us. Anyway, I think someone would have to stuff the ballot box pretty hard for me to get elected anything at Blackwell after I dropped out.”

“A year after you left to pursue other options,” Kate corrects her. “Now that you’ve got your GED, I don’t think you technically count as a dropout.”

“Aww, but it’s my whole identity,” Chloe teases. She dips her head to drop a light kiss to the top of Kate’s head as Kate scowls playfully.

“Guess you’ll have to develop a new one, then.” She squeezes Chloe’s hip hard enough to shut her up. “You look really good in that tuxedo. I can’t wait to show you off.”

Chloe raises her eyebrows. “Yeah? Not still worried about what people are gonna say when they see our prom pictures?”

“I’m still concerned,” Kate says thoughtfully. “But I’m more excited. I never thought I’d get to have this.” She turns to look at Chloe, and there’s so much warmth in her eyes that Chloe feels a sudden threatening prickle of tears in her own. “My mother and aunt fed me so many… bitter thoughts about what being gay might mean. All the things I’d never get to do or have because I didn’t think that gay people were allowed them. I never thought I’d get to love someone so much. I never thought I’d get to be loved in return. I never thought I’d get to just be a normal, happy girl on prom night, getting ready with her prom date to go and dance with her friends and have fun like anybody else. But look at me. Look at us!” She turns back to the mirror, leaning into Chloe’s arm. “We’re doing this. I’m going to the prom with my girlfriend, and we look amazing together, and we’re going to pose for stupid pictures and dance until our feet hurt and celebrate with our friends, and at the end of the night you’re going to walk me back to my room and kiss me goodnight because I won’t have to worry about my lipstick anymore and it’s all going to be perfect. And even if it isn’t perfect, it’s going to be ours.”

Chloe feels like she’s going to shake apart she’s so close to crying, eyeliner be damned. “H-hey, Katie?”

“Mm?” Kate turns to look at her sweetly, and god how did Chloe get so lucky to end up with this incredible girl.

“How much do you really care about the lipstick thing? Because I really want to kiss you right now.”

A dimpled smile breaks out across Kate’s face and Kate goes up on tiptoes, touching Chloe’s face lightly as she tilts up her face to kiss her. Chloe does her best to kiss her back like a normal person and not like a drowning woman. “Not as much as I care about you,” Kate answers when they pull apart again. She wipes a stray tear from Chloe’s cheek. “Are you okay?”

“I’m so fucking okay. I might be the most okay I’ve ever been in my whole stupid life.” Chloe plants another kiss on Kate’s forehead. She’s about to start leading Kate to the door when she realizes she’s forgotten something important. She fumbles the corsage out of the inner pocket of her dad’s jacket and presents it to Kate. “Come on, let’s finish getting you suited up so we can light up the fucking dance floor and give all the haters the middle finger. The metaphorical middle finger,” she amends when Kate starts to open her mouth. “Not gonna get myself thrown out of your prom; don’t worry.”

Kate holds out her wrist and Chloe has to bend to slide the corsage into place. There’s a surreal moment when she’s holding Kate’s perfect hand in hers and gently guiding the corsage into place, practically down on one knee to get the proper angle, where she wonders if this is what it might feel like to propose. She can see it so clearly in her mind’s eye: getting down on one knee, probably wearing this same tuxedo because that way it’s like her dad would get to be there, still holding Kate’s hand, still looking up into her beautiful and shining eyes as she gazes down at her with more love than any human heart could hold, Gramma Price’s ring resized to fit Kate’s finger…

Chloe wobbles, suddenly lightheaded, and Kate reaches out to steady her the way she always does. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Kate asks again, brow furrowing slightly with concern.

Chloe presses a reverent kiss to Kate’s knuckles and rises back to her feet. “I’m good,” she says, trying not to sound as dazed as she feels. “I’m great. I’m fucking amazing. You’re amazing. We’re amazing. Let’s go show all of Blackwell how fucking amazing we are.” 

Kate nods, grinning. “Yes, please.” She holds out her hand and Chloe takes it. Before they can make it all the way to the door, Chloe’s phone buzzes in her pocket. With an exaggerated sigh, she pauses to check it.

Mom: Chloe Elizabeth Price, don’t you dare forget to send me pictures!

Kate reads over her shoulder. “Maybe we should show your mom how amazing we are first?”

Chloe grumbles and rolls her eyes but obligingly opens up the photo ap on her phone. As annoying as Joyce can be (seriously, wtf with the Mom ESP?!), Chloe knows that Kate relishes this kind of maternal approval and that she’s never going to get it from her own mother. Joyce has her faults - fucking hell does she have her faults - but even Chloe has to admit that she’s been pretty awesome with Kate. She’s all but adopted her, honestly.

Chloe holds up her phone and lets Kate nestle under her arm. A perfect fit as always.

“Say ‘prom night!’” Kate says, grinning giddily.

“Prom night!” Chloe says without taking her eyes off of Kate, and she takes the picture.

[raleighcarrera]

different

the royal romance | drake walker x mc (riley brooks)

~16.9K | mature language and themes/suggestive scenes (18+)

if we'd met somewhere else… anywhere else. at a club in new york, or in an airport, or at a party…

...do you think things would have been different?

drake and riley meet at a frat party in college. they’re not, like, dating dating, okay? they just... party together, and study together, and sleep together every night. and he thinks about her a lot. and then there’s an assassination attempt on his best friend, and drake has to go back to cordonia. a fluffy look at scenes from a drake x riley LDR that becomes just a plain old R when he invites her to spend the summer with him at the palace.

*

someone was banging on his door. impatiently, the knocks increased in volume and frequency, until it was an almost continuous stream of thump - thump - thump, ruining his morning. it was too early for this. it was sunday, for chrissakes, and they’d been out so very late the night before. resolving to ignore whoever it was, drake shoved his face further into his pillow, grimacing when the movement stuffed his mouth full of long, curled hair. from beside him, riley groaned loudly.

“i will kill whoever that is,” she threatened, elbowing him in the arm. drake winced; her voice was low and gravelly, but it still made his head throb. “if that’s fucking simmons and pierce trying to be funny i will kill them, drake, and i won’t feel bad. make it stop.”

he heaved a loud sigh and slowly sat up in bed. the movement made his head spin, and he wondered if riley felt as deathly hungover as he did. if she was suffering even half as badly as he was, it was a miracle she had the presence of mind to threaten anyone like that -- but that was his riley. a multitasker.

drake stumbled to the door in his boxers, flinging it open with irritation. “what?”

it wasn’t simmons and pierce. it wasn’t anyone who lived at the frat house.

it was leo.

drake gaped at him, completely in shock. “hello, drake,” he said, which, on its own, was already a lot to process. drake wondered what time it was, and if he’d managed to get more than four hours of sleep since the record-breaking keg stand he’d pulled off the night before. 

before he could say anything, riley strolled up beside him, the sheet from his bed wrapped around her. her eyes were squeezed shut tightly, one hand holding up the sheet and the other fumbling for the door frame. “we don’t want any breakfast,” she huffed, “it’s not even eleven yet, what the fuck is wrong with --”

“riley.” drake put his arm out, stopping her from slamming the door in leo’s face. he glanced nervously at liam’s brother, flushing when he saw that leo was looking back and forth between the both of them, his grin wide with delight. 

finally, she opened her eyes. her mouth dropped open into a round o of surprise, and drake grimaced as she adjusted the sheet under her arms. “what’s going on?”

this was not the conversation he wanted to have now, when it already felt like his head was going to split in two. “it’s kind of a long story...”

“indeed,” leo said grimly, stepping into drake’s bedroom and closing the door behind himself. riley managed to look both confused and pissed off as she walked to drake’s dresser and bent low towards the bottom drawer. 

leo arched an eyebrow at him as she dug around inside of it and then stepped into the bathroom. drake was silent as she turned the shower on, feeling his whole face go red. “i didn’t give her the drawer,” he felt compelled to defend, “it was empty and she noticed and put her stuff in it. it wasn’t like -- i didn’t say, here, have a drawer.”

the expression on leo’s face looked as though he was doing everything he could to avoid smiling. “we can talk about that on the plane.”

plane? “is everything alright? what are you doing here, anyway?” his stomach sank as he considered all the reasons why leo, of all people, might show up at his college. “did something happen to liam?”

leo sighed, and for the first time, drake noticed how tired he looked. “everyone is fine. but... something did happen. look, you need to come back to cordonia. tonight.”

*

riley watched him shrewdly from his unmade bed as he frantically stuffed his suitcase full of clothes. she was eating a burrito, but for once, he couldn’t be bothered to tell her off for doing it in bed. it’s not like it mattered if she got crumbs in his sheets anyway, after today. “give it to me one more time,” she said between bites.

he sighed with obvious frustration. “liam is the crown prince of cordonia,” he explained, as though he were talking to a toddler. he looked at her over his shoulder and waited for her to nod before he continued. “cordonia is where i grew up. liam is my best friend.”

“and the guy who was here is his brother.”

“yes.”

“but he’s not important.”

“he’s -- leo abdicated awhile ago. he’s important enough.”

“so the person who got shot --”

“no one actually got shot,” he interjected, pulling out his sock drawer and emptying the entire thing into his suitcase in one go. 

“then why do you have to go?” 

drake turned and met her eyes. god did she look pretty, sitting in his unmade bed in just one of his t-shirts, her hair wet and curling over her shoulders. he could see the smooth skin of her thighs peeking out from beneath the hem and let himself yearn, for a moment, to stop what he was doing entirely and crawl back into bed with her.

was it so selfish, if he didn’t want to go? 

“because liam needs me. he’s always been there for me, and now i need to be there for him.”

“okay -- sure,” she said, in a way that definitely meant that she didn’t agree with him, “but -- withdrawing from school? in the middle of midterms? so you can go do -- what, exactly? what’s your role over there?”

drake rubbed at his forehead with annoyance. “i don’t know, riley, professional best friend? does it matter?”

“don’t get mad at me,” she snapped, glaring at him, “you’re the one who never told me about any of this.”

“because i wanted to be normal!” riley frowned, her eyes still narrowed from her position on the bed. “i didn’t want to be prince liam’s friend. i didn’t want anyone here to know. and i didn’t realize i had to share my life secrets with every sorority girl i hook up with.”

his eyes shut as soon as the words left his mouth. he regretted them instantly, and he didn’t want to see what her face was doing. “riley...”

drake dared to let himself look at her. she’d stopped chewing, and she was staring at him as though she’d never seen him before. hurt flashed over her face lightning fast and then disappeared. “go to hell.” 

“riley, listen --” she stood up and angrily started getting dressed in her own clothes, whipping his shirt over her shoulder so fast he had to duck out of the way. “i didn’t mean --”

riley turned around and threw what was left of her burrito at him, hitting him squarely in the chest. drake watched as it fell down into his open suitcase, sighing at the perfectly round circle of guacamole she left on his shirt. “have fun in budget greece.”

her voice sounded tight. drake winced as he jogged to follow her out of the room, racing down the stairs after her. several of his fraternity brothers politely averted their eyes as she rushed through the hallway and out the front door. 

“riley!” she stomped off down the sidewalk without hesitation.

leo was waiting beside a black town car idling on the curb. he hung up his cell phone as drake slowed to a stop next to him. “ready to go?”

“yep,” he grit out, “just -- one second. i’ll be right back.” 

he ran down the block to catch up to her, grabbing her arm to stop her from getting any farther. “okay, i deserved that,” he allowed, catching his breath, “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean that, i don’t know why i said it.”

“is that how you think of me?” she demanded, her eyes shining in the low light of the street lamps, “some sorority girl you hook up with?”

“no,” he answered emphatically, “this is just -- the weirdest day of my life. please cut me a break, i have no idea what i’m doing.”

she pursed her lips, and then nodded once. “you know, you don’t have to go back there if you don’t want to.”

drake sighed, running a hand through his hair. “yes, i do. i don’t expect you to understand.”

“well, i don’t.” she looked and sounded more upset than he’d ever known her to be, even after last semester when her favorite literature professor tore her critical analysis of great expectations to shreds. “i think it’s bullshit. of course i want you to stay.”

he reached out and put his hands on her arms. “hey, it’s not forever.” without realizing it, his voice had dropped to a reassuring timbre. “the semester will be over in eight weeks. you could come to cordonia for the summer.”

riley exhaled shakily, averting her eyes. fuck. “please don’t cry.”

“i’m not going to cry,” she insisted, sniffling dramatically. “but i just -- i don’t know. it’s going to be weird, not having you around.”

“it’s going to be weird not being around. but it’s barely two months, and then...” his hands rubbed slowly up and down her arms. “you could spend the summer at the palace with me. i’ll take you to the beach, teach you how to ride a horse... show you off to all of my friends...” he could see her softening. “you could work on your writing. think about what a good story it would be.”

riley sniffled again. “that’s true...”

“see? it’s not that bad. plus, you’ll be so busy with your schedule you’ll hardly notice i’m gone.”

she shot him a look that let him know he shouldn’t push his luck. “come on,” drake needled, “smile, brooks.”

she just bared her teeth at him. “a real smile.”

instead of doing what he’d asked, she threw herself at him for a hug, sudden and fierce. drake’s arms tightened around her, and he lifted her up off her feet. she always liked that.

predictably, riley laughed. when he set her back down, she was gripping his shirt tightly in her hands. “don’t be a stranger, okay? get the international cell phone plan.”

drake smiled back at her. “i promise.”

*

to his credit, leo waited until they were almost back to cordonia to ask about riley.

the trip felt longer than he remembered, even with all the comforts of flying private. it felt like he couldn’t get his thoughts in order -- he went from being worried for liam, to annoyed with the situation, to missing riley already so quickly it made him nauseous. 

fortunately, leo had provided a distraction by going over every detail of the assassination attempt with him. drake had peppered him with questions until he’d heard everything twice, and then there was nothing left to do but dwell. 

“i just can’t believe someone would do something like that,” he said again, for what must have been the fourth time. “i can’t imagine how liam must feel.”

“i know. it’s awful.” leo shook his head. a long moment of silence passed between them. drake stared out at the dark void of the sky through the airplane window, cringing when he heard leo start, “so...”

drake was pretty sure he knew exactly where that sentence was headed. “oh, we don’t have to do this.” 

“we really do.” he grinned at drake from his seat across the plane. “come on, i was almost murdered earlier this week. indulge me.”

“fine, but you’re not allowed to do that again for the rest of the month. it’s... not that serious. honestly.”

leo looked at him in disbelief. “she has a drawer.”

“she pulled a hostile takeover of that drawer.” again, his voice was defensive. he sighed. “we met at a party in august, at the start of last semester. we were at the house, in the backyard... she bumped into me. we got to talking... stayed up all night...” he trailed off meaningfully, shrugging at nothing. he could feel his face turning red. “one thing led to another, and now it’s... seven months later and... she’s always around. in a good way.”

“then i’m happy for you, drake.” leo’s smile faltered. “i’m sorry it had to come to this.”

“don’t be. you know i’d do anything for liam. college is terrible, anyway.”

“mmmm.” leo seemed not to believe him. at any rate -- “looks like we’re landing.”

as the plane touched down on the tarmac, he pulled out his phone. his fraternity group text immediately rushed back to life with dozens of incoming text messages, but he ignored it in favor of his thread with riley. she’d texted him hours ago, after they’d already taken off. have a safe flight. don’t do anything stupid

he was already smiling. just landed. tonight’s probably going to be crazy. call me after class tomorrow

as she always did, riley answered nearly immediately. isn’t there a time difference?

he wondered what she was doing. riley always insisted on getting a good night’s sleep on sundays, and they usually parted ways after dinner so she could make her way back to her own apartment to get ready for the week. he’d often found himself blowing up her phone, pestering her for attention while she caught up on the homework she’d neglected over the weekend, holed up in the library or inside her bedroom. 

privately, he let himself wish he were back in boston with her, just for a moment. i’ll wait up.

*

it was hours before he and liam were finally alone. despite the somber mood that filled the palace, everyone seemed... happy to see him, and he spent far too long letting liam get him reacquainted with everything, even though it hadn’t been that long since he’d been home in cordonia, last summer. 

after a final security briefing and one last drink, bastien left them alone in drake’s old bedroom.

“it’s really... good to see you,” liam sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face. “i’m glad you’re here.”

suddenly, he felt guilty for ever missing boston -- for even entertaining the thought of not coming, for even one second. “of course. i came as soon as i heard, i... would never not be here during something like this.”

liam nodded, his gaze out the window and in the courtyard. “when do you have to go back?”

drake’s brows furrowed. “liam... i’m not going back.”

that startled him. “i thought you had another year before you could graduate?”

he did, but... “it doesn’t matter. i’m not leaving you.”

as he said it aloud, he realized it was the right decision. earlier, when he’d been talking to riley, he hadn’t been so sure, but after tonight... he knew it was his only option. he couldn’t believe things for liam at court had gotten so bad -- that everyone around him had let things get so bad. and now -- an attempt on his life? what kind of best friend would he be if he left liam now? drake knew instantly that if their roles were reversed, liam wouldn’t even hesitate to do what he was about to. 

“you don’t have to do that.” drake watched him pretend like he wasn’t pleased. “i’m fine.”

“well, it’s too late,” drake shrugged simply, “because i already withdrew and moved out all my stuff.” liam still looked uncertain. “hey -- ride or die, right? what did you think i was going to do with a degree in world history, anyway?”

liam barked out a laugh just as drake’s phone buzzed in his hand. it was riley. just wanted to say goodnight

drake mentally tried to calculate the time difference between cordonia and boston, unable to stop himself from from picturing her burrowed into the twin bed in her apartment. there was nothing he loved to complain about more than that stupid, tiny bed, but at that moment, he would’ve given anything to be crammed in it with her. 

liam smiled at him. “is that your girlfriend?”

drake flushed as he put his phone away. “she’s not my girlfriend.”

“that’s not what leo said. come on, i’ve seen her on your pictagram. dark hair? brown eyes?”

drake gave in and nodded. “her name’s riley.”

“i assume you told her... about all of this?”

drake hesitated, then slowly confirmed... “yeah. i invited her to spend the summer here.”

“drake, that’s amazing! i can’t wait to meet her.”

liam’s excitement was infectious. maybe it would be good to have brooks here, after all. she could be a distraction for... all of them, from this mess. she was good at that. she was the only person drake knew that could effortlessly pull him out of one of his sulking bad moods, just by being herself. so -- around this place? she’d be a welcome breath of fresh air.

he nodded, finding that he couldn’t wait, either. 

remembering her text, he pulled out his phone again. night, brooks.

*

“drake,” maxwell practically screamed from the other side of the room, “get. off. the phone! we’re about to start a dance off.”

drake ignored him. riley had sent a photo of herself pouting at a sig chi pregame. i hate hanging out here without you

he bet she’d already had a few too many, despite the fact that it was still early in boston. below that text, she’d written, come homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

miss me that much already? there was no denying how good that felt. 

the party going on around him hardly interested him. he was only here for liam, after all, and at maxwell’s insistence -- drake hardly thought that something as chaotic as a beaumont bash was what his best friend needed right now, but liam had wanted to come, and so -- there they were. 

the sight of riley’s downturned bottom lip in the photo was drawing him in. missing that hot bod, she’d written back. he snorted.

maxwell had jogged over to where he was standing. “come on, you can talk to her later. she’ll still be awake in a few hours. don’t you want to spend time with your friends, who’ve missed you?”

not really. he wanted to lock himself in the beaumont study and call riley before she left the house for a bar. he wanted to reach her now, before she was too drunk to know she was even talking to him. 

“maxwell, i’m here, aren’t i?” with great self restraint, he slipped his phone into his pocket. “what do you want?”

maxwell slung his arm around drake’s shoulders. “i want you to take some shots with your friends. is that too much to ask?”

he heaved a heavy sigh, pretending to consider it. back in boston, at this hour, riley would already be slamming on the bartop wherever they’d wound up, demanding another round of tequila shots. his lips quirked. he should really have a drink or two in her honor. “alright, alright. lead the way.”

*

it wasn’t long before maxwell had him ridiculously, wonderfully drunk. “okay -- okay. one more.” maxwell had his chin on drake’s shoulder, looking down at the phone between them. “this is her at the a-e-pi luau after she won the hula hoop contest. it was on fire.” 

maxwell gasped as he swiped left to the accompanying video of riley swinging her hips. “that’s so badass.”

there was pride in his voice. “i know, right? she’s the coolest. she’s so good at everything, it’s honestly annoying.”

“i want to meet her!” maxwell exclaimed, as drake continued to swipe through his camera roll. a majority of the photos he had were of riley doing something ridiculous, drunk and pulling silly faces at the camera. drake pointedly sped up as he reached the selfies of the two of them she’d insisted upon late one night on the roof of his house. 

without thinking too much about it, he called her on facetime. it seemed simple enough, to his addled brain: maxwell wanted to meet her, and he wanted to talk to her. more than that, he wanted to look at her. 

riley declined his call, though, making him frown. a second later, she’d texted one sec !! lemme go outside !!

her beautiful face came into view within moments. behind her, drake could see the main street lit up with activity, the college bars they’d used to frequent coming alive in the distance. riley was grinning -- she had glitter on her cheeks. “babyyyyyyyyy!” she exclaimed, throwing her arm up. she was drunk.

“hey, you.” maybe he was too drunk for this, too. “don’t you look nice.”

riley beamed, pulling the phone in close. “i miss you.”

from his shoulder, maxwell sighed. “awwww, stop it. i’m going to get a cavity.”

“riley, this is maxwell. maxwell, riley.” he angled the phone to let maxwell in frame. immediately, he waved wildly at her. 

“hi! drake seriously does not stop talking about you. it’s so cool to finally see you!”

riley smiled widely at him. “he talks about me?”

“oh, yeah. every five minutes, he’s all -- riley would love hiking here. riley’s read that book, she said it was good. riley’s the reason i had to stop drinking vodka. it’s seriously --”

“okay, that’s enough.” he put the phone back on his face. “i might’ve mentioned you once or twice.”

maxwell scoffed loudly from beside him, but all of his focus was on the way riley giggled from the screen. his heart was pounding. they’d talked on the phone every night for the last four weeks, but this was the first time he was seeing her outside of photos or social media. for the life of himself, he couldn’t understand why they hadn’t done this sooner. 

“you staying out of trouble, brooks?”

“well, duh! my partner in crime totally ditched me!”

maxwell was waving his arms beside him. “hey, liam! riley’s on the phone! drake’s girlfriend!”

drake reached his free hand out to push maxwell away. “shut up.”

riley was laughing wildly on the screen. “is that what you told them? that i’m your girlfriend?”

he rolled his eyes. “more like that’s what they told me.” his gaze softened. “i can’t wait until you get here.”

“me too, drake walker. you have no idea how much this place is starting to suck.”

suddenly, liam appeared behind him. “is this the riley we’ve heard so much about?”

she gasped theatrically. “you must be liam. you look like a liam.”

liam grinned, leaning down closer to the phone. “got it in one. it’s great to meet you. you’re every bit as pretty as drake said you were.”

riley laid a hand on her heart, miming like she was swooning. drake elbowed liam good-naturedly. “hello, i’m still here.”

riley winked at him. moments later, maxwell crowded in on drake’s other side, squishing into the frame. “riley, when you get here, we’re going to party so hard,” he promised. she seemed to like the sound of that.

“you guys are so lucky drake’s there hanging out with you,” she sighed, pouting into the camera again, “he’s the world’s best drinking buddy.”

maxwell’s eyes looked like they were going to bulge out of his head. “drake? our drake? this one right here?”

drake rolled his eyes, but riley didn’t seem to pick up on his sarcasm. “yeah! we’re unofficial beer pong champions at sig chi. and i’m not playing with anyone else until you come back. we’re not gonna be dethroned that easily.”

he winced, aware of the look maxwell and liam were exchanging behind his back. so -- he hadn’t exactly told her, yet, that he wasn’t planning on coming back for his senior year. but he was going to, okay? he just thought it was a conversation they’d be better off having in person. 

he scoffed with false bravado. “as if any of those clowns could dethrone us, anyway.”

“i’m saying,” she agreed, spinning around on the sidewalk. he watched as she slowed to a stop at the corner, and then sighed. “will you walk me home?”

drake nodded, looking around the ballroom for a quiet corner. “you sure? it’s gotta be pretty early there.”

“i want us to be alone.” instantly, he could feel his face flushing. maxwell and liam laughed from beside him.

“i think that’s our cue,” liam said politely, reaching out to grab maxwell’s arm and pull him away. “nice to meet you, riley.”

“yeah -- get over here soon!” maxwell shouted, waving enthusiastically again. 

drake was already heading off towards the study. he slipped inside, unnoticed, and closed the door behind him. riley was humming as she crossed the street, the signal and the darkness making her blurry on his screen. “did you have fun?” he asked, “where’d you guys go? sam’s?”

she nodded, the glitter on her cheek reflecting in the moonlight. “uh huh, but it was beat. the pregame was way better.” riley wrapped her free arm around herself, pulling her jacket in tighter. a moment of silence passed between them. “it’s weird not sleeping at the house.”

“i know. i think all the bruises i had from you kicking me in the shins every night have finally faded.”

riley laughed loudly as she ducked inside her building, tapping her id card to unlock the main door. “shut the fuck up. i only sleep-kicked you because you were a blanket hog.”

“we both know that’s honestly just not true.” her building was loud as groups of students prepared to go out, the night early enough that people were just now thundering down the stairs and heading for the door. he watched riley stab at the elevator button with amusement. “seriously? you live on the second floor.”

“mind your own business,” she snarked back at him as she slipped inside, “this elevator is for people in boston only. if you want to have an opinion, you’re going to have to leave europe.”

god, did he miss her. “you got your flight info, right? i gave liam your email so he could set it up.”

she nodded slowly as she stepped out into the hallway. drake watched her wobble adorably towards her front door, and heard her fumbling with her keys. “uh huh. m’already counting down the days. ‘til you pick me up at the airport and i can jump on you.”

drake sunk down into one of the leather armchairs in front of the bookshelves. “is that right?” 

riley moved out of frame briefly as she struggled to get her jacket off. he heard the telltale sound of her kicking off her shoes, and then she bounced down onto her bed, making the old mattress creak. her face finally lit up as she leaned over and turned on her bedside lamp. 

“yup.” her excitement was contagious. “i can’t wait to see you in person. ‘cause i can’t believe it’s been a month already and i haven’t gotten a single picture of you.”

“you want pictures, eh?” he grinned, mentally flipping through the catalog of images riley had been sending him. he’d hardly had time to wonder what she was doing, her selfies had been so thorough. “like the ones you’ve been sending me? because i’m a lot less exciting than you are, brooks. liam and i spend most of our time here doing nothing.”

“noooo...” she laid back against the bed, flopping down against the pillows. “i want you to be naked.” 

drake barked out a laugh, shaking his head at her. “i am not sending you a nude from maxwell’s house.”

“why not?” she whined, batting her eyelashes. “i want to see your abs. i forget what they look like.”

he smirked at her, leaning back in the armchair. “now you know how i feel about your boobs.” 

her eyes narrowed. drake swallowed hard -- he was very familiar with that particular glint in her eyes. deliberately, riley pulled her shirt up and over her head. 

she was wearing a simple, lacy white bra. drake stared at her as she sat up and reached behind her back to unclasp it. “brooks...” he said warningly, his voice low. “i’m at a party.”

“so go home.” she mimicked his voice in a way that made him roll his eyes at her, just like every other time she busted out her winning impression of him that, in drake’s opinion, sounded nothing like him.

“i can’t, we’re all staying over.” and if she got him hard in the beaumont study he didn’t think he’d ever be able to come back in here again. he’d have to find a new place to hide out from the rest of court.

“then go to your room,” riley countered, shifting like she was going to wiggle out of her skirt. 

drake averted his eyes desperately, trying to think about anything else. he was officially too drunk for this. “can’t we just talk about something else?”

riley groaned. when drake dared to look at her, she was frowning. “why?” she demanded, “why can’t we get each other off? don’t you miss me?”

“brooks, of course i miss you.” he sighed. sometimes it seemed like over the last few weeks he’d done nothing but miss her. he couldn’t help but to imagine every mundane detail of the summer ahead of them, from camping out under the stars to getting lost in the hedge maze together. 

but riley still looked hurt. “well, it seems like you don’t.”

“riley...” he was trying not to stare at her. “come on. everyone here is fucking sick of me because i’m always either on my phone, talking about you, or annoyed because i didn’t get enough sleep because i was talking to you. these people know more about you than they know about me.”

that shut her up. after a moment, she asked, “...really?”

“really. and i can’t wait until you get here. i want to show you... everything. i want us to wake up in the same place again.”

riley smiled at him. it was the same soft, sleepy smile she used to give him just before their last kiss goodnight. “you should go back to your party. i bet your friends miss you, too.”

he nodded, making no move to hang up or stand from where he was sitting. “you’ll call me tomorrow?”

she yawned, her nose scrunching up childishly. “uh huh. goodnight, drake walker. cutest boy in cordonia. probably.”

the affection he felt for her in that moment was almost overwhelming. drake covered it up with a laugh. “sweet dreams, brooks.”

*

the next four weeks dragged on at an agonizingly slow pace. drake did everything he possibly could to fill his time, but he was hyperaware of every minute leading up to riley’s arrival. it only got worse as the end of the semester drew closer, and he knew that most of his friends were growing tired of him, but couldn’t seem to find it within himself to stop.

he needed to get it together. he had never been so hung up over a girl before, and definitely not one that he wasn’t even dating. 

but... riley was riley, and if she wanted his attention, then she deserved all of it. for some reason, she’d decided to give up her summer for him, and drake wasn’t dumb enough to convince himself she was interested in being in cordonia for any reason other than spending time with him. as scary as it was to admit to himself, he knew the situation would be the same if he’d gone back to texas and she went back to new york at the end of the semester -- just with a cheaper cell phone plan.

so that meant he had to find a way to show her a good time.

...and let her know that he wouldn’t be going back to boston with her in the fall.

easy peasy. sure.

step one was simple enough: all he had to do was pick her up from the airport. 

maxwell had volunteered to drive, which left him with idle hands as they rode out of the capital. he checked his phone restlessly, alternating between staring out the window and up at the ceiling of the car. after he’d sighed for what had to be the fifth or sixth time, maxwell finally said, “drake. relax.”

“i am totally -- relaxed.” he didn’t even sound convincing to himself. “this is... perfectly fine.”

“what could you possibly be nervous about?” maxwell asked. he sounded irritatingly amused. “you already know she likes you.”

“it’s complicated.” over the last two months, he’d done his best to avoid filling in all the gaps regarding their... relationship, if that was even what he would call it, despite maxwell and liam’s persistent questioning. “even if brooks was my girlfriend, or whatever... it’d still be weird, bringing her here.”

“why?”

he really didn’t want to get into it, especially not with maxwell. no one needed to know that he was wildly anxious about bringing a girl he liked around liam, who girls had always preferred over him for pretty much their entire lives. he was comfortable with harboring that insecurity alone until the end of time, thankyouverymuch. 

“i just think that all of this is a lot for anyone to take in. i don’t want it to change things between us.”

there. that was vague and generic enough, while still not being an outright lie. he was worried about things changing between them. he wasn’t sure he could stand to watch riley grow to prefer liam to him.

shaking his head as if to clear it, he looked over at maxwell in time to catch him rolling his eyes at drake. “if anyone knows how to not let this change them, it’s you. i think you’ll be fine.”

drake shrugged silently. maxwell drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

“besides, it’s too late now. she’s already here. so help me find a parking spot.”

drake let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. okay. he could do this. they were still only on step one. 

he stared at maxwell when he got out of the car, too. “you’re coming in with me?”

maxwell looked at him like he was the biggest idiot on the face of the earth. “uh, duh.” he shot finger guns at drake from across the car. “moral support, baby. now come on, stop dragging your feet.”

*

she was taking an inordinately long amount of time to get off the plane.

drake watched as passenger after passenger filed out of the door and into the airport terminal, heading to their next destinations. surely, she was doing it on purpose.

maxwell kicked his ankle, jolting him out of his thoughts. “you need to calm down.”

what was happening to him? he couldn’t recall ever being this nervous, not even around any of the literal royalty or supermodels that seemed to be perpetually following liam (and by default, him) around. maxwell was right. he needed to get a grip.

but then he saw her.

she hadn’t noticed him, yet, so he had a moment to watch her as she stepped out into the airport and looked around curiously. she was struggling with a giant, overstuffed duffel bag, and the sight of her jacket tied around her waist and her hair pulled up off her face made him think that maybe he wasn’t alone in his nerves. she always overheated when she started to panic.

riley turned and saw him, and her face split into a brilliant grin. drake started to make his peace with the fact that it was the last thing he was going to see before he had a stroke and died. as far as untimely demises were concerned -- there were definitely worse ways to go. 

“oh my god,” maxwell mumbled from beside him, “this is so cute, i’m going to cry.”

she pushed through the crowd and rushed the rest of the way up to them. without a word, she dropped her bag on the ground and, as promised, launched herself directly into his arms. 

drake laughed as he caught her, lifting her off her feet. no one had ever told her to act like a lady in case there were photographers around before, so riley wrapped her legs around his waist and held on tight. 

“you’re here,” he said dumbly, hugging her in close. the longest eight weeks of his life had officially come to an end. his throat felt suspiciously tight. “it’s really good to see you.”

riley’s hands were on his shoulders, and she pushed him back enough that she could look at him, still smiling that stupid, goofy grin. her eyes swept his face, and then she leaned in and caught his lips in a hungry, desperate kiss.

drake stumbled briefly, but recovered quickly enough. he squeezed her sides encouragingly, and riley shoved her hands into his hair, kissing him as though they were about to be ripped away for war at any moment.

maxwell coughed pointedly from beside him, breaking the spell. her legs dropped abruptly to the ground with a thud, and then she stood up straight and laughed. she didn’t look embarrassed in the slightest. she took both of drake’s hands in hers and squeezed them. “you have no idea how much i missed you.”

“i think everyone here has some idea,” maxwell mused. “it’s nice to finally meet you in person, riley.”

“likewise.” she turned her unabashed grin on him, then. to his credit, maxwell smiled right back at her. “thanks for taking care of drake while he’s been here.”

maxwell laughed. “trust me, no one here has been taking care of drake. we have a lot to fill you in on.”

drake rolled his eyes as he bent down and hoisted riley’s duffle bag onto his shoulder. he couldn’t quite bring himself to be bothered by maxwell’s remarks, now that she was here. 

riley leaned over and laced her fingers through his as they headed towards the door. huh. she hadn’t done that in... awhile, even back in boston. fuzzy, alcohol-addled memories reminded him that it was halloween, the last time she’d slipped her hand into his, just to lead him around a party.

“this is freaking me out,” maxwell said, as they made their way back to the car. “riley, just so you know -- drake never smiles this much. i don’t think he’s smiled this much in all the time i’ve known him.”

“what? drake totally smiles,” she argued, squeezing his hand. “he smiles all the time.”

“it’s true,” he agreed, completely deadpan. “a man can smile if he wants to, maxwell.”

he opened the door for riley when they reached the car, and she took her bag and slid into the backseat. before he could close it, she reached out and grabbed his shirt, pulling him into another kiss. this time, her lips were much sweeter and softer, and she kissed him like they had all the time in the world to get reacquainted.

maxwell was pretending not to notice as he texted from the front seat. “you’re going to have to stop doing that,” drake murmured lowly, his lips still brushing hers with every word. “or we’re never going to make it back to the palace.”

“hey, you can’t blame me for finding you irresistible.” her fingers hooked in the belt loops of his jeans. “it was a long eight weeks. of course i’m hard up for it.”

he bit back a shiver, swallowing the groan that was threatening. “you can’t possibly imagine what i’m going to do to you later tonight,” he promised, the words spoken lowly into her ear. 

riley’s eyelids fluttered prettily at the same time that maxwell started the car, the sound of the ignition turning over shattering the silence between them. drake shot her a smirk and closed the backseat door, joining maxwell in the front. 

riley immediately slid into the space between the two front seats, leaning over the car’s center console. “so, what’d i miss? you guys have to tell me everything. maxwell, make sure he doesn’t leave anything out. drake is the worst storyteller.”

*

“liam, it was like something out of a movie. you should have seen him.” maxwell’s voice was insistent, and the only reason why drake was tolerating the direction the conversation was going in was because of the way riley was giggling beside him as she rotated her marshmallow over the fire. “it was like aliens replaced drake with a pod person. they made out at the airport.”

liam was laughing at him, too. drake leaned over and threw a marshmallow at him, sighing as he turned his attention back to riley. “look what you did. you’re ruining my reputation.”

she pulled her marshmallow from the fire, blowing on it to extinguish the tiny flame that’d caught on one of the charred edges. she didn’t look sorry when she slid her gaze over to him. “oops?”

he sighed again as he held a graham cracker out to her. it was worth the inevitable teasing that would follow when riley beamed as she slid her gooey marshmallow off the stick and onto the cracker, leaning over him to fish around for the chocolate on the far side of where he was sitting. 

“riley, you have to tell us more about what drake is like at college. it’s honestly like you’re describing a totally different person.” 

drake glared at maxwell as he set himself up with a new marshmallow. “it’s really not,” he said, though all three of them acted like he hadn’t spoken.

“well -- for the most part, he’s always been really nice to me,” she shrugged, “but he was pretty drunk when we met.”

“i wasn’t pretty drunk,” he argued, “i was... regular drunk.” again, the three of them ignored him.

“i bumped into him at a party -- like full-on smacked into him and spilled my drink -- and i remember exactly what he said. he looked me up and down and was like, i would remember if i’d ever seen you here before.”

“actually, i think it sounded a lot cooler than that.” his protest fell on deaf ears. liam and maxwell leaned in closer to the fire, hanging on her every word. 

“and i was like, uh, i kind of make it a point not to hang around in gross frat house backyards, and i swear to god he actually said -- so what if we went upstairs instead?”

“i think i’d honestly be okay with dying right now,” drake said, though he doubted anyone heard him with the way liam and maxwell were howling with laughter. 

“so -- did you go with him?” 

“yeah.” her smile softened, and she shot drake a fond look that made him feel perfectly at peace, being the butt of the joke. “drake’s room has a really cool balcony. we stayed outside all night talking and watched the sunrise together. then in the morning it started raining, so we ran inside... and he asked if i wanted a towel but i just kissed him instead.”

“and then?”

“you really don’t need to --”

“honestly, i didn’t know if i’d see him again after that,” riley shrugged, glossing over the part he was desperate to keep private. “it’s a big campus, you know? and he didn’t even ask for my number. but i... kept thinking about him. so i asked around, and i figured out which of the girls in my sorority were dating guys in sig chi.”

that was news to him. “what? you did?”

“uh, yeah?” riley laughed, as though it should have been obvious. “how else would i have known about that pregame you had before the homecoming game?”

he was stunned. it’d never occurred to him before that seeing riley again might’ve been anything other than dumb luck. “i don’t know.”

“so -- that was what happened. i went to the pregame and it was pretty small so obviously he was there and we saw each other right away, and i couldn’t have cared less about the homecoming game so...” a grin spread slowly across her face. she shrugged. “we found something else to do with our time.”

his brain was still stuck on the part where she actively sought out seeing him again. when he first started hooking up with her on a semi-regular basis, drake had assumed riley was just killing time with him between classes and parties -- she was so obviously out of his league that it seemed ridiculous to think anything else. drake spent most of the time he was with her trying to make her laugh or come so he could convince her she had a reason to keep coming around.

but... she liked him. since the first time they’d met. she didn’t need any convincing.

“then i just kept bugging him and dragging him to stuff he didn’t want to go to -- study groups, movies on the quad, bar crawls in the city, red sox games. i kept waiting for him to say no, but -- he never did.” 

she was staring at him in the moonlight, biting down on her bottom lip. riley looked suddenly... shy, or as shy as she could look with thready gobs of marshmallow stuck to her fingertips. he had no idea what to say.

“you and i remember that... very differently,” he settled on finally, hardly able to believe she was serious. she had to be embellishing, right? telling the story in a way that’d make it more interesting for liam and especially maxwell, whose eyes were so wide as she talked that drake was actually concerned for him. 

“is that right?” 

“yes,” he said emphatically. “first of all, i felt like an idiot for forgetting to get your number. i thought i totally blew it, and i couldn’t believe my luck when you showed up at the house again. i’d kind of just been hoping we’d have a class together or something and i could figure out how to talk to you then. and after homecoming i was the one to ask you out.”

“asking me to meet you at a bar you were already at is not asking me out,” she laughed. “you said ‘come to tri-bar, there’s a lot of people here.’ is that how you guys would ask a girl out?”

liam and maxwell both obligingly shook their heads no. traitors.

“i was the one who asked you to come home with me, and then when we got there, you were like -- ugh, a twin-sized bed? i didn’t even think you liked me. so then when i saw you at the student union and asked you to go to the marina... i thought you were going to say no, honestly.”

maxwell interrupted before he could think of something to say. “so you asked drake out? twice?”

“i asked him out, like, a hundred times,” she laughed, “most of the time i figured he just said yes because he was bored.”

“okay, you are out of your mind.” it felt like he was living in an alternate reality. “i mean, i was definitely trying to play it cool, but i couldn’t have been that cool.”

“it would be incredibly out of character for him,” maxwell mused.

drake ignored him. “i was always following you around. i couldn’t believe a girl like you would even look twice at me.”

riley frowned, like she didn’t understand what he was saying, either. 

it was hard to pinpoint exactly when things started to change. gradually, they’d just become... two people who were always together, constantly in contact, never without their next outing on the horizon. she’d started to spend every weekend sleeping over at the house and he’d memorized her coffee order and her class schedule so he could have a few extra minutes of her time walking around campus together. 

when he and savannah had gone to texas to spend christmas with his mom he’d made sure to text her every day over the holiday break. he’d gotten back to boston earlier in the day the sunday before the spring semester started, and went to pick her up from the train when she got in later that night. it was snowing, and she was freezing cold when she hugged him tight. 

drake still remembered the way she’d said i was worried you would forget about me. at the time, he’d thought she was joking.

“so -- assuming that drake planned absolutely nothing for the entire summer, i have a list of everything you have to see in cordonia before you leave.” maxwell broke the silence, pulling out his phone. reluctantly, riley looked away from him and back across the fire. liam shot him a look before drake averted his eyes, too. 

“sounds fun,” riley smiled. “i’m ready for a summer full of adventure.” 

she stretched, making a show of giving the biggest, most fake-looking yawn he’d ever seen. he stifled a smile. “i’m pretty exhausted now, though. it was a long flight.” riley turned and looked directly at him. “will you walk me to my room?”

*

she held his hand as he walked her back up the stairs. “so,” she started, looking around at everything, “how come we don’t get to share?”

share a bedroom? as if. he snorted. “this isn’t exactly that kind of place. plus, i figured you’d want your own space. but you’re right across the hall from me, so... i’ll be close.” 

she nodded. he couldn’t remember another time she was so quiet. “are you okay?”

riley squeezed his hand. “yeah. just taking it all in. i can’t believe you really grew up here. i mean, you’re so -- normal. is this weird for you?”

“very. but you get used to it. savannah adapted a lot better than i did.”

“you said she’s with her friends, right?”

“yeah -- a few of the girls from court went to paris for the weekend. i think it was one of their birthdays. they should be back in a couple of days, and then you can meet her. maxwell said something about having a big party.”

“i can’t believe i actually scored an invite to an infamous beaumont bash,” she mused playfully, “it’ll be nice to finally have some idea of what you’re talking about.”

“honestly, there’s tons of other things i want to show you first. tomorrow i’ll take you on a real tour of the palace -- show you all the secret spots i’ve found. stuff you’d never read about in history books.” he couldn’t wait to see her face when he showed her the view of the courtyard.

“that sounds nice.” but riley looked distracted, her thoughts somewhere else. he waited patiently for her to get around to it, and she did. “can i ask you something?”

“anything.”

“why did you invite me here?” he looked down in surprise and found that she was already staring at him. “i mean -- for the whole summer? aren’t you worried we might get sick of each other?”

he shook his head. of all the things he’d worried about and agonized over, that was one thought that had honestly never crossed his mind. “not at all.” he slowed to a stop as they reached the door that said ms. riley brooks in looping script. 

“i invited you out here because i wanted to spend time with you,” he said honestly, for once unafraid of saying something that might scare her off. since the moment they’d met, it’d been an annoyance in the back of his mind, the thought that she might decide she’d had enough one day and walk away. tonight, it seemed like riley was doing everything she could to make him feel secure -- so he tried to let her, just this once. “honestly, when i knew i had to come back here... at first, i didn’t want to.” 

he felt guilty to admit it, but pushed through anyway. “because of you. the thought of not being able to see you every day... made me not want to go. i didn’t -- i could never forgive myself if that’s how i left things with you. and i could see how you would think that maybe i just said you should come in the heat of the moment or whatever, but... that’s how i always feel when i’m with you, so. it was a no-brainer. i feel like if none of this ever happened, i still would’ve invited you out, or planned a trip to new york or... something. those three weeks i didn’t see you over christmas break were awful. i don’t know if i could do a whole -- woah!”

he cut off abruptly as riley shoved him hard into the wall beside her bedroom door. before he had time to ask what she was doing, she pushed up on her toes and kissed him forcefully, gripping his shirt tightly in her hands. drake tangled his hands in her long, dark hair, kissing her back just as aggressively. 

god. had they really not done this in eight weeks? 

drake heard riley fumble with the doorknob to her room and shuffled to help her get them both inside without breaking their kiss. the door to the hallway slammed shut as she pushed him back into it again. 

on any other night, he might’ve teased her for her impatience -- reminded her that they had no where to be and then dragged it out for as long as possible. but tonight, he felt her urgency. he pushed forward and walked them both back towards her bed, leaning over her until she finally laid down onto it and dragged him on top of her. 

in between kisses, he pulled off his shirt, doing his best not to actually rip any threads of riley’s clothes as he tugged at them in turn. once he’d slipped her out of her jeans, he almost choked on his own tongue when he saw what she was wearing underneath.

“did you have that on all day?” he demanded, his voice cracking in the middle of the sentence. her bra and panties were lacy and see-through, in matching dusty shades of pink. 

she grinned at him, completely pleased with herself. “uh huh.”

he groaned as he looked her over, his gaze trailing down her body. “jesus christ, riley. warn a guy next time.” 

she lifted one leg to hook around his waist, pressing him closer with her heel at his back. he exhaled slowly, giving into the urge to grind his hips forward against hers.

if it was at all possible for riley to look any more smug, she managed it. “where would be the fun in that?”

*

he was still panting as they laid side-by-side under the canopy of her bed. the sheet was pooled low over the both of them, but for as hot as he knew they both were riley still cuddled in as close as she could get, leaning her head on drake’s chest. his arm wrapped around her, stroking her shoulder mindlessly as he worked to get his actual thoughts back on track.

she was the one to speak up first. “i want you to sleep in here with me.” the tone of her voice implied she thought he might actually say no. 

“okay,” he answered breathlessly, glancing around the room that would be hers for the next three months for the first time. she’d hardly had time to unpack before liam and maxwell had monopolized her afternoon, but her things were already scattered around the room in a way that reminded him of her apartment back in boston; riley had a few t-shirts already spilling out of her half-zipped duffle bag, and her curling iron sat on top of the vanity next to her phone charger. 

for some reason, the sight of her things around here -- in a bedroom at the palace, where he’d grown up and spent so much time feeling completely alone and out of place -- made his heartbeat speed up arrhythmically. 

“i really am so glad you’re here,” he murmured, feeling inexplicably tender towards her. “i know this has to be weird for you. but it means a lot that you’d do this just so we could hang out.”

“i would literally walk from new york to cordonia if it meant we could spend an hour together.” she nudged her nose against his sternum, and he wondered if she could feel how hard his heart was pounding. 

he covered up the rush of affection he felt for her with a joke. “you would literally walk across the atlantic ocean?”

“i would figuratively do it just so i could literally kick your ass.” 

drake chuckled, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes so he could smile down at her. “riley... seriously.”

“i’m being serious,” she insisted, “you always act like i don’t like you as much as you like me, but the truth is that i like you more. it’s like you haven’t noticed that i’ve been the one chasing you around since junior year started.”

he scoffed. “what? that’s not true.”

riley pushed up onto her elbow, frowning at him like he was a complete idiot. she usually reserved that look for what she considered to be ice cold takes of his, like meat lovers is objectively the best pizza in existence or they should have never cancelled heroes, the plot was just starting to get good. “drake -- it is true. if i weren’t always, you know -- showing up at your house or dragging you out to stuff we’d probably never see each other. i think you inviting me out here is the only time you’ve ever made a plan for us to do something.”

“no way,” he argued, racking his brain for an example of a time he planned a date. there had to be at least one. “what about when we went to that concert at fenway park?”

“i got the tickets from work,” she reminded him. he frowned.

“how about when we slept over on that houseboat in the marina?”

“that was daniel’s dad’s boat. i asked him if we could borrow it.”

“i took you to that early screening of the last most wanted movie.”

“you needed an american express card to access the pre-sale. i sent you the link and asked you to do it. drake -- it’s not a big deal. i’m just saying --”

“hang on, what about all those times i made you dinner? i invited you over, i cooked for you. those were dates, weren’t they?”

riley shrugged. “sure. look -- forget i said anything, okay? the point i was trying to make was that... i like you a lot. and you don’t have to worry about that.”

but he barely heard her, his thoughts somewhere else. “well, i did plan stuff for us to do this summer. there’s so much i want to show you. it’s going to take us the entire time to get through it all.”

“and that sounds great.” she smiled at him reassuringly, but he couldn’t help but feel like he’d somehow majorly fucked up. 

there was so much more he wanted to say. he needed her to understand just how crazy about her he was -- how insane she made him feel, how he never stopped thinking about her. he’d never known anyone who single-handedly had the ability to make or break his day. 

and he’d never had a girlfriend before. he’d never even wanted one. but... riley was different. she made every day so much better, just by being around. 

so why were the words that would let her know that stuck in his throat? 

“okay,” he mumbled finally, still frowning at the ceiling. 

she was already dozing off against his chest, seemingly content, but he knew it would be a long time before he fell asleep, too.

*

it only took a day before they settled into a routine. riley always preferred running to being in the gym -- especially with him -- (“drake is so annoying about his workout” she’d not-whispered to liam when he’d invited her to train with them) so she’d spend the morning jogging laps around the palace grounds in an infuriatingly small sports bra and shorts while he and liam made use of the palace gym.

he tried valiantly not to stare at her when she ran past the bank of windows that looked out into the courtyard, but she drew his gaze every time without fail, to the point where he was mentally timing her laps, perking up when he figured she’d be coming around again.

he and liam were taking turns hitting one of the heavy bags lined up in the corner of the gym as he complained. “she thinks i’m not thoughtful,” drake insisted, even though riley had never said that -- at least not in so many words. “she said i’ve never planned a date for us. i didn’t even know that was something i was supposed to do.”

liam gave him the same look riley did when she thought he was being wildly out of pocket. “you didn’t think... you were supposed to take your girlfriend out on dates?”

“i didn’t even think she was my girlfriend,” he admitted helplessly. “we never said -- i mean, i never thought...” he sighed in frustration, and liam wordlessly switched positions with him so drake could be free to hit the punching bag they were sharing. “we’re always together. it wasn’t like -- we had a saturday where we weren’t hanging out and she was waiting around for me to ask her to do something. i swear i spent more time with her than i did in class.”

“look, she obviously likes you,” liam pointed out, holding the heavy bag steady as drake punched it again, hard enough to rattle the chain hooking it into the ceiling. “the way she talks about you... it seems clear she’s crazy about you just the way you are.”

“yeah,” he sighed, “i just want to make her feel special. she deserves it.” 

while he’d definitely made a list of everything he wanted to show riley before she left cordonia, he knew then that he needed to translate it into solid plans. he was determined to show her how much she meant to him, so if riley wanted dates, then she would get them -- so many she’d be sick of him by the end of the summer. 

riley popped her head in, then, grinning and flushed. “god, it’s hot out there. you didn’t tell me a cordonian summer would be this hot.”

“it’s been unseasonably warm,” liam agreed, moving to the cooler to grab riley a water. “you know you can always run in here with us, right? there’s plenty of treadmills.”

“thanks, but i like being outside. you two should try keeping up with me.” she drank deeply from the water bottle in her hands, eyeing drake’s shirtless torso with the same interest he was paying her. 

they were just about ready for the next part of their routine --

“shower?” riley asked him, inclining her head towards the stairs. her lips quirked up into a grin.

“definitely.” 

the three of them would have breakfast together before whatever adventure they’d decided upon for the day started. liam wasn’t always able to join them -- sometimes bastien put his foot down if drake suggested something too far or dangerous -- but maxwell would tag along on occasion, and sometimes they’d spend the day blissfully alone. 

over the next few weeks, he showed her... everything. they went to the beach. to the woods. to the mountains. he took her to the stables and showed her how to ride a horse -- really ride, like when he first learned in texas -- and they broke into the kitchens late at night to make snacks together, sneaking around with whispered voices so they wouldn’t wake anyone else up.

he took her camping, and hiking, and fishing, and tried to teach her how to navigate the hedge maze. that one was still taking her a few tries, but riley took to everything else with natural grace, being as infuriatingly good at everything as she always was. drake showed her all the secret spots of the palace he’d always wanted to share with someone, and brought her into town, and stuffed her full of every single apple-related snack she could handle. 

they had sex just about everywhere he thought they could manage to get away with it. as it turned out, that was... a lot of places. 

he introduced her to savannah and the members of the king’s guard that felt like family to him, pleased when she charmed them as easily as she’d charmed everyone else. savannah thought she was just about the greatest thing she’d ever seen, and bothered her incessantly about everything from life in new york to what college in america was like to how riley braided her hair. 

life felt pretty much... perfect. now that he knew what it felt like to have riley’s eyes light up when he brought her somewhere special, drake constantly found himself trying to outdo their last day out, chasing the high that came when she gave him her sunniest smile and bounced happily on the balls of her feet.

he found himself doing and saying things he never thought he’d do before, like talking about his dad, and growing up at the palace, and even opening up about how nervous he’d been to bring her around liam...

but riley never judged him. she never made him feel stupid, even though most of the time he thought he sounded pretty stupid. 

she always listened. she was patient and thoughtful and she just got him, in a way he hadn’t even realized he’d been looking for until she made it happen so effortlessly. the more time he spent with her, the more he was amazed at how well they really seemed to mesh. in boston, they’d been friends who got along swimmingly, but here... they felt like a team. like partners. like something more... solid, and real.

they still drank and went to parties and snuck out early to find somewhere quiet to make out. by the third or so time, maxwell had started collecting bets on when they would make their leave together -- not that he cared, as long as they found that quiet spot.

but it felt like they had an understanding, now. so much so that he barely even noticed he’d started introducing her to anyone who looked their way as riley, my girlfriend.

eventually, things started to wind down. august snuck up on them before he had time to prepare, and drake found himself face-to-face with the reality of time and the guilt of knowing that he still hadn’t told riley he wouldn’t be flying back to boston with her at the end of the month.  

it wasn’t like he hadn’t tried. it was just that... other things always seemed to come up. to take precedence.

he’d been lying on her bed while she flipped frantically through the clothes she’d brought along with her, whining, “i didn’t bring anything i could wear to a ball. you didn’t tell me there was going to be a ball.”

drake shrugged apathetically. “we don’t actually have to go. everyone will be in the ballroom, so -- the rest of the palace would be pretty much ours. or we could drive out to the beach... camp out under the stars again...”

“of course we have to go. in fact, your sister specifically said make sure drake doesn’t skip this one.”

“you know, i didn’t introduce you guys so you could team up against me.” riley smirked at him over her shoulder. “the end of summer ball is, like, the lamest one, anyway. we wouldn’t be missing anything.”

“we’re going,” she said firmly, “i just need to find a dress. maxwell said something about a boutique?” 

drake nodded. “i can show you where it is.” he drew in a deep breath. now was as good a time as any, right? “actually, there was something i wanted to talk to you about...”

she hummed encouragingly from where she was still bent over her bag, rifling through her things. 

“well... it’s about --”

“riley!” the door to her room banged open abruptly. drake sighed as savannah burst in. “you have to come with me to the boutique. i put three different dresses on hold for the ball this weekend and i need you to tell me which one i should go with.”

“you know, you could knock,” drake said pointedly, glaring at savannah from behind riley’s back. he was trying to let her know about the important talk she’d interrupted with just a look, but savannah didn’t seem to pick up on it, her brow furrowing at him with confusion. 

“you can’t blame us if you walk in on something you don’t want to see,” riley teased, finally standing up and dusting her hands off. she smiled at savannah, and then turned back towards drake. “i’ll see you in a bit?” 

as if it were possible to feel any guiltier, drake found that he was actually relieved they’d been interrupted. “yeah,” he answered weakly. you are the worst. she is going to freak out. “definitely.”

*

riley was adamant about getting ready on her own. she said something about wanting to surprise him when she’d shoved him out of her room and told him to meet her at the bottom of the staircase before the party. drake spent his newly discovered free time resigning himself to a night spent in his one suit, carefully avoiding the nobles he had no interest in talking to.

he was barely dressed before savannah came barging into his room, squealing and clapping her hands excitedly. “drake! come on, come on. it’s time to go downstairs.”

“savannah, the ball isn’t going anywhere.” neither was this little song-and-dance they somehow managed to perform before every single party. usually, she let him drag his feet for at least a few more minutes than she was tonight.

“i can’t wait to see the look on your face,” she grinned, reaching for his arm and dragging him out of his room. “you are going to die.”

“what are you even talking about?” they descended the stairs together and stopped at the bottom. the foyer was chaotic, with guests arriving and greeting each other, the doors to the ballroom open just beyond the hallway. he could already hear the music that was playing. 

“riley, stupid,” savannah said, elbowing him in the side. “she looks amazing.”

he rolled his eyes at her. “riley always looks amazing.”

“i’ve never wanted my phone more than i do right now,” she sighed, “you’re going to look like a complete idiot in 3... 2...”

maybe she had a point. riley appeared suddenly at the top of the stairs looking like an angel, holding the long skirt of her dress in one hand. the gown she was wearing was grey and low-cut, with sequin detailing and a simple cinch at the waist. when she started to walk down the stairs, he could see that there was a high slit in the front, exposing flashes of her bare legs to him as she moved. 

as she got closer, the dainty necklace that dipped tantalizingly into her cleavage caught his eye. his mouth felt very dry. 

from beside him, he could distantly hear savannah say, “this is the best thing ever,” but she felt very far away.

it felt a lot like riley was walking towards him in slow-motion. she was like something out of a fantasy, and while he knew he was gaping, drake couldn’t quite bring himself to care. finally, she stopped at the bottom of the steps, right in front of him.

she shot him a wide, sunny smile. “hi.”

drake released the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. his gaze slid down her body again. he couldn’t remember ever feeling so tongue-tied in his entire life, and riley had dressed as catwoman for halloween.

“hey. you look amazing.” there. that was more or less what he’d wanted to start with. “that dress...”

“yeah? you like it?” her grin let him know she already knew his answer.

“i think it’s going to look amazing on my floor later.” 

“aaaand, that’s my cue,” savannah said abruptly from behind him, her face contorting with distaste. “i’ll see you in there.” he hardly noticed as she walked away. 

“seriously, riley.” now that he’d found his voice, he wasn’t sure if he was capable of talking about anything else. “you’re gorgeous.”

and he was in love.

wait --

no, he was. he was certain. that feeling -- that thing that he always seemed to be overtaken by whenever riley was around, whenever she smiled at him or he made her laugh or she kissed him -- that feeling that made him want to tell her things, anything -- that was what it was. he was in love with her. oh, god.

he tried not to let his revelation show on his face as she inclined her head towards his own outfit. “thanks. you look really handsome, too. i didn’t even know you owned a suit.”

her teasing made him feel more like himself, and drake managed a genuine smile as he leaned down to press a brief kiss to her lips. the contact calmed him down enough to pretend like the earth hadn’t just completely shifted on its axis. “a man has to have some secrets.” he offered her his arm, and she stepped up to his side. “ready for the lion’s den?”

“it can’t be that bad.” 

he snorted as they stepped into the ballroom. a quick glance of the room confirmed that riley had absolutely no idea what she was in for. the place was crawling with nobles and a majority of the faces he recognized were people he had absolutely no interest in talking to -- girls who were desperate to get on liam’s radar now, before he started courting for a queen, and pompous dukes and earls who’d want to pretend to be his friend for a spot in his inner circle once he became king. not a single one of them had ever had a polite word to say to him.

“let’s at least get a drink,” he settled on, resting his hand on her lower back to guide her towards the bar. hopefully he could keep most of the nastiest people here away from her.

unfortunately, riley was hardly dressed to lay low. drake noticed every eye in their path following them as they made their way across the room, whispers breaking out behind her back from both men and women. it hardly surprised him. if he had seen her for the first time tonight he was sure he would have been one of the people staring, too. 

as they got in line at the bar, she swiped a glass of champagne from a passing tray, lifting it to her lips. drake glared at a man staring at her from over her shoulder until he held up his hands and walked away. “this is really fancy,” riley noted, looking around the room. “is this what your summers are usually like? all these balls and parties?”

drake shook his head. “honestly, i try to avoid stuff like this unless liam really needs my support. savannah likes it, but most of this... isn’t my scene. in a few years, when liam starts looking for a queen -- it’s going to be awful. there’ll be a ball like this every week, and an international tour, too.”

“oh, no,” riley said sarcastically, “a free trip to other beautiful countries? it sounds terrible.”

“traveling with the royal court is hardly a vacation,” he sighed. “the security alone makes it impossible to do anything fun. it’s basically exactly what we do here -- crowded dinners filled with pretentious people and tiny portions of fancy food -- except that you’re jet-lagged and tired on top of it.”

she shook her suddenly empty champagne flute at him before setting it down on the bar. “at least there’s alcohol.”

“that one, i’ll give you.” he gave both their drink orders to the bartender, passing riley her vodka soda -- three limes -- with one hand and drinking deeply from his whiskey with the other. riley leaned up against his side as they stepped away from the crowd, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders to pull her in closer.

she surveyed the people filling the ballroom with interest. “okay, so give me the rundown. who’s who?”

“most of the people here are cordonian nobility,” he explained, “their parents run duchies throughout the country. you know -- like how maxwell’s brother runs his?”

riley hummed, nodding her head. she took another sip of her drink. “and is being really, really pretty a requirement of coming to these things? because most of these girls look like supermodels.”

draked laughed. “most of the girls here are some of the meanest people you will ever meet.” his fingers drummed on her bare shoulder to catch her attention, and he lowered his voice as he inclined his head to the far right of the room. “that’s madeleine. she was engaged to leo before he abdicated. now that liam’s set to be king, she’ll be all over him.”

riley’s face displayed her disgust. “after she was engaged to his brother?”

“it was never really like that, for them. i’d be surprised if she and leo ever even kissed, outside of public obligations.”

“that’s kind of sad, don’t you think?”

“yeah. especially because she’s pretty much the favored choice for liam, and... not a very pleasant person to be around. i hope he picks anyone else, honestly.”

a flash of red hair caught his eye, and he looked across the room to see olivia and liam dancing together. he grimaced. “well... almost anyone.”

“who’s she?”

“olivia nevrakis, we grew up together. her family has a long history in cordonia. she’s been in love with liam for... pretty much our entire lives. ever since her parents died, she’s been running their duchy alone, in lythikos.”

“ahh.” recognition dawned on riley’s face. “that’s the place maxwell calls the elephant graveyard.”

“what? why?”

she looked at him like he was crazy. “from the lion king? it’s the place simba isn’t ever supposed to go. because... of the hyenas? have you seriously never seen the lion king?”

maxwell appeared beside them suddenly, two champagne flutes in his hands. he passed one to riley. “did i hear someone say the lion king?”

she clinked her glass against his with a grin. “drake’s never seen it! isn’t that insane?”

drake nodded at the glass in maxwell’s hands. “don’t worry, i didn’t want one.”

he scoffed. “you already have a drink! riley’s was looking low.”

“thanks, maxwell,” she said primly, leaning her head briefly on drake’s chest. “don’t be so grumpy, you.”

drake rolled his eyes. “i’m just saying -- we’re going to need about a thousand more of those, if we’re going to get through tonight.” 

“aww, come on. this is pretty fun. i love that you have all the gossip.”

he sighed heavily, his gaze drawn back to where olivia seemed reluctant to release liam, even as the song changed. “i need to go rescue liam. will you be okay for a few minutes on your own?”

riley nodded, waving him off. she set both of her empty glasses down on a passing tray. “yeah, i’ll be fine. go save the day.”

“i’ll introduce you to some people,” maxwell offered, “maybe we can even teach you the corodnian waltz.”

*

it was longer than he would’ve liked before he made his way back to riley again. he’d seen her out of the corner of his eye, dancing with maxwell, talking to savannah, meeting some of the other ladies from court. whenever he glanced her way, she seemed to be handling herself remarkably well -- better than he ever had. he was impressed.

he came armed with another drink for her when he finally appeared to pull her away from maxwell and the girls she was talking to, assuming she’d need it. surprisingly enough, the small group that’d gathered around her actually complained when drake pulled her away. 

drake led her out onto the balcony and handed her her drink. riley accepted it gratefully, laughing when he said, “it looks like you’ve made quite the impression.”

riley shrugged, holding the cool glass against her flushed cheek. she’d probably danced more tonight than he had in his entire life. “most of them aren’t so bad. but i do see what you mean about olivia. she’s a nightmare.”

he laughed. “what -- no way! american, commoner, here with me? you should have been her favorite person at this party.”

she grinned out at the courtyard below them, bracing her hands on the balcony’s railing. “she’s lucky we’re here and not at school, or i’d slap that stupid smirk off her face.”

drake whistled. “someone’s feeling feisty.”

riley shot him a sideline look. if he didn’t know any better, he’d almost think that she’d been out there defending him. after a beat, she said, “you didn’t tell me you had admirers here.”

his eyebrows arched high as he took a sip of his own drink. “probably because i don’t.”

“hmmm.” she pursed her lips and then turned around, leaning her back against the railing. drake followed her gaze back into the ballroom and found that she was looking at kiara. “she likes you.”

drake rolled his eyes. “that’s not funny.”

she folded her arms under her chest, turning back towards him. “i’m not laughing.”

“she doesn’t even know me. and i’m not interested in her.” 

riley sighed. he wondered if there was something else he should say -- but before he could start to overthink things, she leaned in for a kiss. 

drake pulled her close and kissed her deeply, the way he’d been wanting to all night. he’d been thinking of this moment and this moment alone since she’d descended the grand stairs, and he swept her into his chest, carefully weaving his hands into her hair so he could tilt her face up to kiss her harder.

riley wound her arms around him in turn and shivered as their bodies met, humming happily against his lips when his grip tightened. the muffled sound of the party behind them faded away as all of drake’s focus centered on her and the crazy way she made him feel. 

when they finally broke apart, he tipped their foreheads together, staring down at her. riley was breathing hard, her lips swollen and her cheeks pink. she looked so happy.

before she could speak, he said, “i have to tell you something.”

she held his gaze. it was now or never. in a moment, she wasn’t going to look this happy anymore -- she was going to be so fucking mad at him.

he shut his eyes with a sigh. her hand was sweetly stroking his side under his jacket and over his shirt, her voice gentle and encouraging when she asked, “drake? what is it?”

“i’m not... going back to school with you, riley. i have to stay here.”

he could feel her freeze in his arms, tensing up. the words hung in the air between them, creating distance that was unavoidable, even though she didn’t move. he opened his eyes.

“you’re... what?”

“i’m not going back to boston,” he said again, his voice low. “i’m sorry... but i can’t. liam needs me here.”

predictably, she looked upset. drake watched as a series of emotions flickered across her face before her expression set into one of stony resolve. he didn’t try to stop her as she pulled away, taking a step back from him. “when did you decide that?”

he knew his answer wouldn’t be popular, but at least it was the truth. “as soon as i got back.”

she flinched. “and you didn’t think it was important to tell me before now?”

“riley -- i wanted to tell you,” he rushed to explain, hating that everything out of his mouth sounded like an excuse. “but it never felt like the right time, and --”

“that is such bullshit.” it felt like the ground was falling out from beneath him as angry tears sprang into her eyes. “you knew all fucking summer you were just going to ship me back there by myself and you acted like we were -- and then what? what was supposed to happen for us?”

“hey, no. that’s not what i -- riley, we can still... be in a relationship. of course i still want that. i know the long distance thing isn’t easy but i thought we could... try. and then after you graduated -- i don’t know, maybe -- you could move here, or... we could talk about it then? i don’t know. i didn’t get that far.”

“so those are my options?” she looked like she wanted to throw something at him. he couldn’t blame her. “move to cordonia, or break up with you?”

“no,” he emphasized again, trying to pinpoint where, exactly, this talk had gone horribly wrong, “that’s not what i want. i want you to be happy, riley. and these last few months... it seemed like you were really happy.”

“of course i was! because you were acting like -- like --”

“like what? help me out here, please.” he knew he sounded desperate, but if he could just understand what exactly was making her so upset, maybe there was still a chance they could fix this.

riley sighed. she looked devastated. “you’ve been acting like you’re in love with me. of course that made me happy, drake.”

the world slowed to a stop. he didn’t say anything -- he only stared at her in surprise. finally, he found his voice. “riley... i’ve never been ‘acting’ around you. everything i’ve said -- everything i’ve done... all of this has been because i am in love with you.”

that seemed to be the absolute last thing she ever thought he would say. “what?”

drake couldn’t hold back his laugh. “brooks -- riley. did you seriously not know?”

her eyes went wide. “no! how was i supposed to know?!”

“well --”

“oh my god. drake.”

he’d lost the ability to tell whether this conversation was going terribly well or just plain terribly. it felt like his grip on the situation was deteriorating rapidly. confusion clear in his voice, he asked, “are you still... mad at me?”

riley smacked his shoulder. “yes! i can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were staying here sooner.”

drake winced. “i know... and i’m sorry. you deserved to know as soon as you got here, but... i didn’t want it to ruin our summer. i wanted to give you the time of your life.”

she heaved a loud, long sigh. he watched as she looked out over the courtyard, and then up at the stars. before he could apologize to her again -- and really start groveling -- riley rushed forward and kissed him.

he held her waist to keep her steady, decidedly going with it. even though he still wasn’t exactly sure what was happening, he was cautiously optimistic that he hadn’t ruined everything beyond repair. it didn’t feel like a ‘goodbye’ kiss.

she was stroking his cheek when she pulled away, cupping his jaw in her hand. the warm glow from the party still going on behind the double doors lit her up like a dream. it felt like the only explanation for what the hell she was still doing here, with him -- he had to be dreaming.

“drake... i love you, too.”

he yanked her in and pressed their lips together again, crushing his mouth against hers. riley moaned as he lifted her up off her toes and held her as close as he possibly could, spinning around to press her against the balcony’s ledge. it felt like forever before he managed to drag himself away from her -- like maybe they kept kissing until the party ended or even beyond that, into the next morning. 

riley was smiling widely at him. “you’re such an idiot.”

he nodded, still marveling down at her in wonder. somehow, the amazing girl in his arms loved him. him. the giant fuck-up that he was -- riley loved him. “i know. you’re gonna have to go easy on me sometimes.”

“oh, this isn’t going to be easy,” she promised, lifting her hands to his face. she seemed to be just as in awe as he was. 

“that’s fine, too. you know i like a challenge, brooks.” his hands slid down her back, over the fabric of her gown. he hoped she wouldn’t be too angry with him for tearing it off of her as soon as they could make their way back upstairs, piece by piece. “and i promise i’m going to do everything i can to make you happy. not just next year. but forever.”

her fingers brushed softly through his hair. riley’s gaze was warm as it searched his face. whatever she found there kept her smiling. “you don’t have to try so hard. i’m happy with you just the way you are.”

*

the rest of august flew by in a flash.

in the blink of an eye, it was time for riley to leave. they stayed up all night on her last night in the palace, talking about everything and nothing, kissing until they were short of breath. 

so she looked tired, when she finally started packing her things, even after they showered together for the last time -- something that usually filled her with seemingly boundless energy. 

the mood was somber as she triple-checked her room for anything she might’ve forgotten. drake sat on the bed and watched her walk around in silence; the room looked bizarrely bare without her t-shirts and hair ties and underwear thrown all over it.

she stopped silently in front of the bed and cupped his face in her hands, tilting his chin up so he would look at her. 

“you’re pouting.”

he was. “i’m not pouting. this just sucks.”

riley’s lips twitched. “you’re sulking.”

“no,” he answered petulantly, “i’m rightfully sad that the best summer of my life is coming to an end.”

she sighed, stepping closer in between his spread legs. “yeah.”

riley dropped one hand to his wrist, which she lifted to eye-level so she could look at his watch. “i should probably start saying goodbye, if i ever want to make my flight.”

she’d said a round of goodbyes last night, to everyone -- doling out hugs and then hugging everyone again, exchanging her number with anyone who hadn’t already gotten it and swapping social media handles, promising to visit at christmas break. but he knew they wouldn’t let her sneak out so easily. she was riley. she’d wormed her way into each and every last one of their hearts.

“i could just refuse to let you go,” he mused, balling his hands up in the back of her shirt tightly. “keep you stuck up here forever.”

she hummed as though she was actually considering the idea. “what would we eat?”

“i would bring snacks.”

“you would leave to go get them?”

he leaned forward and buried his face in her chest. “so i haven’t worked out all the kinks yet. but the core of the plan is solid: you stay here forever.” 

riley ran her fingers through his hair. “it won’t be so bad, you know. christmas is only a couple of months away.”

“i feel like i should be the one doing this for you. when did you turn me into this?”

she laughed. it spoke volumes to how upset he was that it couldn’t lift his mood, not even a little. “you won’t even have time to miss me,” she murmured. he squeezed her tighter. “i’ll be texting and calling you constantly. and you’ll be busy being a professional best friend.”

he finally lifted his head, standing so he could hug her the way he wanted to. “riley, there isn’t going to be a single minute that i’m not thinking about you until you get back here. i think you’re seriously overestimating just how busy i actually am. i might do nothing but miss you.”

riley managed to look both surprised and delighted at the same time. “promise?”

“i promise.” 

he carried her bag downstairs and stood around while she said one last goodbye to his friends. despite how sad he was, there was something he loved about seeing all the people he cared about -- liam, savannah and even maxwell -- hug her so hard, like they were going to miss her as much as he would. 

drake drove her to the airport, trying to pretend like everything was fine. if he allowed himself not to think about it for a few moments, it was almost like they were back in boston and on their way to dinner or a movie or the grocery store -- though riley always drove when they were at school, because she was the one who had a car. 

reality started to set in when he walked her inside. he found that he hardly wanted to hand her bag over to her -- if he did, then this was real. she’d be leaving. 

he swallowed hard as she threw herself at him again for another big hug. drake squeezed his eyes shut tight and tried to memorize everything about her -- exactly the way she smelled and felt in his hands, the soft thump of her heart beat, the small noise she made into his ear. tomorrow morning he was going to wake up without her stupid hair in his mouth, for the first time in months. 

when he set her back down on her feet, he was eternally grateful to find that she wasn’t crying. if she started, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to actually do it -- to say goodbye.

but her voice did wobble precariously when she said, “hey, i’ll be back before you know it.”

drake clenched his jaw, trying not to let himself get too emotional. he bent down and scooped her up into another tight hug. “i don’t think i can do this,” he admitted, tucking his face into the juncture between her neck and shoulder. “i’m sorry. you’re going to have to stay.” 

she laughed, kicking her feet until he put her back down. he stared intently at her as she wound her arms around him. “thank you for the best summer of my life, drake walker.” the sad smile on her face was breaking his heart. she was so beautiful -- it wasn’t fair. none of this was fair. “don’t forget about me, okay?”

“it’s gonna take a lot more than this to get rid of me.” he reached out to stroke his fingers across her cheek, hardly able to stop touching her. this was the last time he would touch her for the next fifteen weeks.

riley reached up and wrapped her hand around his wrist. “i’ll hold you to that.”

he exhaled heavily. his chest felt tight. there was so much he wanted to say to her. he needed her to know how much she meant to him -- how he could never forget her, how he could never have even a hope of forgetting just one thing about her -- but he’d never been good with words. he’d always had much better luck showing riley what he meant than telling her.

drake pulled her in close and pressed their lips together. he meant for the kiss to be soft and sweet, but riley kissed him that same way she had when she first arrived in cordonia: desperate and hungry, passionately moving her lips against his. she kissed him like this was the last time they’d ever see each other -- like she wanted him to know the way she felt, too. without her having to say a word, he understood. 

he was breathing hard when they broke apart, and he silently bent down and grabbed her duffel bag, helping riley hook it onto her shoulder.

“i love you,” he said, squeezing her free hand once before letting it drop. “have a safe flight. call me when you’re settled.”

*

+1

“look!” riley’s voice was filled with wonder, as though this wasn’t already the fifth time she was exclaiming so. “mistletoe.” 

drake’s eyes followed her pointing finger to the ceiling above their heads. sure enough, there it was. “you know, you didn’t need to plan this. i’ll kiss you whenever you want.”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” riley shrugged, like she and maxwell hadn’t been on ballroom decorating duty. he arched an eyebrow at her, but she stayed resolutely silent.

maxwell walked past them in a santa hat, a long rope of garland draped across his shoulders. “you know, it’s bad luck not to kiss.”

riley nodded solemnly at drake. “he’s right.” 

“you’re acting like i didn’t let you bring me to all the other spots you hung it,” he huffed, but obligingly leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, anyway. riley hummed happily as he did so, winding her arms around his neck. seriously -- it was the fifth time he’d kissed her in the last ten minutes. “are you going to be able to make it through this party?”

she shook her head. “no. i almost didn’t even make it through my flight. or my finals. do you know how hard it was to make it through my finals?���

“you might’ve mentioned it once or twice.” that was an understatement. he was sure he had permanent hearing loss after listening to riley scream over the phone for the last month. 

not that it mattered, since she was here, now. and he had her all to himself for the next three weeks. 

it hardly felt like enough time, but it was better than nothing. he’d been hoping the distance would get easier, the longer they were apart, but he missed riley more and more every day, with everything he had. 

“i can’t believe i get to wake up with you on christmas,” she beamed, pulling him out from under the mistletoe and continuing their walking tour of the room. “that’s going to be the best gift ever.”

“as long as you don’t let it slip in front of my mom that we’re not each staying in our own rooms.” because she’d be here, too. in just a few days, she’d be meeting riley for the first time -- and they’d all get to spend christmas together. everything he’d ever wanted would be in one place. it was hard not to feel tremendously lucky as he considered his good fortune.

“us? sleep together? in the same bed? no way,” she declared theatrically, her face twisting into an over-exaggerated grimace. 

he was so distracted by the way she looked that he didn’t even notice where riley was leading him.

“drake, look!” she exclaimed again, prompting him to roll his eyes.

“let me guess. mistletoe?”

he swiveled his gaze upwards. sure enough, the sprig of mistletoe stared back at him. 

he sighed. “you’re lucky i kind of like you.”

the look on her face spelled trouble. “like me?” she repeated, “you looooooooove --”

before she could finish teasing him, drake bent down and kissed her, hard enough to shut her up. he knew that when they broke apart she’d be dazed -- that she’d pull him right back in for another kiss.

not that he minded, since it was tradition and all. he assumed she wouldn’t, either.

just kissing her felt like an early present. having her here was the greatest thing to ever happen to him, and he couldn’t stop himself from picturing a series of christmases exactly like this one...

...and his mom would be bringing his grandma’s ring with her...

...and riley had no idea. she smiled at him when he pulled away, already tugging on his hand to lead him to the next sprig of mistletoe she and maxwell had hung up earlier. 

drake spared a brief moment, as he followed her to the other end of the ballroom, to reflect on all the crazy events that had led them here. for once, it felt good not to think about something he would’ve done differently. 

[ruewrites]

We’re Blooming Together Chapter 6: Sweet Dreams

AO3

Ships: Solomon/Asmo, Diavolo/Lucifer (implied)

Word Count: 4010

Warnings: Drinking Mention

Chapter 1-Chapter 2-Chapter 3-Chapter 4-Chapter 5-Chapter 6-Chapter 7-Chapter 8-Chapter 9-Chapter 10-Chapter 11-Chapter 12

Asmo was exhausted when his alarm went off. It wasn’t the normal morning grogginess. He probably would have been mildly tired no matter what this morning. Mammon hadn’t gotten them back from their stakeout until near one in the morning. Honestly he was surprised Lucifer hadn’t  been up in the living room and ready to reprimand them. They were all adults sure, but Lucifer never seemed to move past the idea that they were all still six years old.

Actually… Lucifer wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Asmo had just come down from his routine and into the dining room like he always did, but there was no Lucifer… Beel and Belphie were in their normal spots, but the coffee pot was left completely unattended. “Did Lucifer leave already?” he asked, turning towards the twins. The fact that Lucifer wasn’t there threw him off a bit. It just… wasn’t like him.

Beel shook his head, “Not that I’m aware of, we haven’t seen him.” Asmo nodded and turned back around to get his breakfast together and pour himself a little extra coffee. Normally he would wait until he got onto campus, but he was going to need a little extra boost today.

“Asmo?” Beel asked as he put his bagel in the toaster. “I’m sorry we read your letter. The more I thought about it… The more I realized how much we upset you. We really shouldn’t have done it.”

Oh sweet Beelzebub. Always his darling younger brother.

Asmo sighed and leaned against the counter. “Well, there’s nothing we can do about it now… But thank you Beel,” he said. At least one of his brothers still kind of respected both his privacy and his personal life. Of course it wasn’t okay that it happened, but how could he stay mad at Beel? Especially when he had the sweetest puppy dog face he’d ever seen. He was just so innocent.

He’d let Beel and Satan meet Secret first. It would be an excellent way to steal his nerves for when he had to introduce them to Lucifer. After all, Lucifer’s approval was the one that he really needed.

“Do they make you happy?”

Asmo stopped for a moment and stared at the wall in front of him. “Well of course, I love getting letters from them, but even then, even if they do, it doesn’t matter unless they get Lucifer’s stamp of approval,” he sighed, picking up his bagel from the toaster as it popped up.

Beel was silent for a while, turning to look at a snoring Belphie who was slumped against his shoulder. It was almost as if he was contemplating waking up his twin to confer with him before speaking again. Then he turned back to Asmo, “I don’t think Lucifer would have a problem.”

He had to stop himself from laughing. “Really? You don’t think so? Are we talking about the same Lucifer?” he asked, “The same Lucifer has a little talk with anyone that gets brought into this house? You know, the one where some people come out looking like they've met Death? The same Lucifer who compares everything to ‘a case he had one time’ to explain why it would end bad and why we should just forget about it?” Honestly Asmo could go on. Lucifer was strict and  overprotective. He’s always been. Should he have had to raise them? No. But they were all adults now, and he didn’t have to be so…. Lucifer all the time. Of course he adored his big brother, he always had, but sometimes even he thought he could be a little ridiculous (especially when it came to him wanting to have fun). He’d broken some of his rules before and come out completely fine. He’d snuck out of the house and nothing bad happened.

“Well, you said they make you happy, and Lucifer just wants what’s best,” Beel reasoned, “So… he shouldn’t have a problem. If you’re happy and safe, that’s all that matters.” He was always so optimistic, Asmo honestly wished he wasn’t worried about what Lucifer would say. He wanted to believe he'd be happy for him, but he could also see the worst in Asmo’s Secret… It made a knot form in the pit of his stomach.

“Maybe…” he sighed.  Honestly it would be so nice and easy to believe that Lucifer wouldn’t be difficult about it, but he wasn’t that delusional.

“It’s almost like you’ve never met Lucifer,” Belphie murmured, eyes opening only slightly.

“I mean, he could-”

“Do you really think so?”

There was a silence between the twins for a moment. Asmo felt like there was a conversation going on between them that he couldn’t hear. Sometimes it was creepy.  He wasn’t sure if he’d really ever understand it.

Finally Beel broke the silence, “Yeah, I do.”

Asmo wished he had that certainty…

******

He felt Solomon nudge him after Demonology. He wasn’t normally one to fall asleep in class. He hadn’t even realized that he had dozed off. Had the professor seen him? He hoped not. Honestly he hoped that (for once) no one noticed him. It was embarrassing him. “Are you alright?” he asked, “Usually you do your nails when you’re bored, not fall asleep.”

He looked genuinely concerned, and if made Asmo forget his worries for just a moment and smile.

Asmo stretched out over his desk before standing up, still trying to get his wits about himself. “My brothers ,” he yawned, “They were so sold on this stakeout thing… I didn’t get home till late last night. Or I guess early this morning if you want to get technical.” What he wouldn’t give for a nap. If only he had the confidence to curl up in one of the common rooms and stay there like Belphie did. He was actually close to giving in and just finding a spot where no one could see him. Why did he have to be so self conscious about everything he did?

“So you need coffee.”

Oh Solomon knew him so well. “Can it be a double shot today? Just to make sure I’m awake,” he asked, bumping into Solomon’s side as they exited the classroom. Other students bustled around them, some sprinting to other classes and others laughing and chatting with friends. It really could be any of them… Anyone one of his fellow classmates could be sending him the letters, anyone of them could be Secret, anyone of them could have captured his heart. Of course Asmo had his preferences, but the thought alone-

The chilly fall air snapped Asmo back to his senses and sent a shudder through him. How far were they into the semester again? Where had the semester gone? Would Secret continue to pursue him after this if he never found them?

Time was so fickle. One minute it was drudging by barely making an effort to move, and in the next instant a day passed by within a single second.

Asmo was never aware of time passing by when he was with Solomon. In a sense, every moment with him was magical.

“What’s up?” Solomon asked.

“Just… Just a lot on my mind is all… I just need my coffee.”

The campus cafe had a rather mellow atmosphere. People were chatting, working on projects, or just enjoying some alone time. Light filtered in from the large windows on the walls and espresso filled his senses. Plants also hung from hooks on the ceiling. All in all it was a nice place. He and Solomon were sitting in one of the booths, bloomed flowers hanging next to them and had dropped a few soft, bright petals onto their table. Asmo enjoyed picking them up and carefully playing with them between his fingers. They still felt crisp and smooth, not yet wilted or withered. They were pretty too. He should really get some more flowers for his room.  After a few sips of coffee, Asmo found himself able to form some more coherent thoughts. He still wanted a nap, but at least his head no longer felt like static.

“We were all crammed in Mammon’s car. Levi and Mammon didn’t even have a plan . We just sat there staring at nothing! I have no clue how Belphie was sleeping in the back. We were all crammed together! It was awful, just awful,” he huffed, setting his coffee down, “Like, I can kind of get it, but why can’t they just let me handle this in my own way? I’m an adult, they don’t need to be in my business.”

Solomon’s smile was telling. Of course he didn’t think the night was as horrible as Asmodeus was saying. “Sounds like a nice time out with your family if you ask me,” he said.

“You would think so. It’s a wonder we even got past Lucifer.”

Asmo swore it was all because the universe had lined up perfectly just to spite him.

But how could he be mad at Solomon? Solomon who had such a wonderful smile. The sunlight created a lustrous glow around him, and who’s eyes he could absolutely become lost in. Solomon who was so smart, and considerate, and cunning, and-

…..

Maybe taking a break from the dating scene had been a mistake. Sure his last relationship had been an absolute dumpster fire, and sure he had Secret’s letters… But this time alone was starting to awaken feelings inside him that he’d prefer to stay down. He’d only get hurt… He knew that Solomon didn’t think of him that way. Yet his thoughts always drifted to the what ifs. What if Solomon actually liked him? What if Solomon wanted to touch him like he did in his dreams? What if Solomon was Secret?

He really needed more self restraint. He needed his old crush to stop already.

“Oh! I almost forgot to tell you about my letter,” Asmo chirped, then he let out a dreamy sigh, “It was absolutely divine . I didn’t think it was possible for one person to say so many wonderful things to me in a letter.”

No one had taken the time to write him one before…

“Oh? So you liked it?”

“Is that even a question?” he asked. Of course he loved it! It was so sweet, and wonderful. “It was so kind… You know people usually focus on my looks, and I mean they should . I am drop dead gorgeous after all.”

Solomon snorted at the dramatics, as Asmo struck a pose and flipped his hair back ever so slightly (and it landed perfectly ), but let him continue on about his letter.

“But, they also focus on other parts of me, you know, the nonphysical things…” he stopped for a moment. How did he express how it made him feel? “It’s… It’s just so- It really… so… so-”

Solomon’s smirk disappeared, and his eyebrows furrowed together. Asmo couldn’t understand why until he found himself sniffling and his vision becoming blurry. Dammit he wasn’t about to let his makeup smear. Solomon passed him a napkin and Asmo carefully dabbed at the underneath of his eyes.

“So-?”

“ So sweet .”

Was it simple wording? Yes. Did it come anywhere close to describing what he was feeling or Secret’s wonderful way with words? Absolutely not. But it was the only thing Asmo could think of. The only words his mind would allow him to use to explain Secret’s love.

And in no way was it enough.

Was there even a word to describe how he truly felt?

Asmo was embarrassed about how he was tearing up in public. It was just so… so wonderful. Secret was so wonderful. Just thinking about that last letter unearthed so many emotions within him. It was silly. He’d been in relationships before. He’d had nice things said to him before.

Why was this so different?

Well, he knew why, but he was afraid to admit it.

It was time to change the subject. He couldn’t spend the rest of his day with blotchy, red tinted eyes. “Maybe you could take some handwriting lessons from them when we find them when we find them,” he chuckled, still dabbing at his eyes, “You could finally make that chicken scratch you call notes into something legible.”

“I think my handwriting is legible.”

“So it’s legible to other people.”

“Are you saying you can’t read my notes?”

“Not unless I’m sitting next to you so you can read them to me,” Asmo snorted, and Solomon’s smile returned to his face. Although Asmo couldn’t get the odd weight out of his chest. It felt like someone took  a rock and dropped it inside of him, weighing him down despite his want to float above it all.

Solomon grabbed his things and started to move from his seat, “Well, maybe I can write a book to help you read it better. You could nap at the apartment while I work on it if you’d like.”

“Oh how gentlemanly of you,” Asmo laughed. That same bell like laugh that Secret adored, “Mmm, but a quiet place to have an uninterrupted nap is incredibly tempting.”

As Solomon helped him out of the booth, Asmo’s phone went off.

…

Odd.

“Hello?”

“No sign of suspicious activity. Over.”

“ Levi ?” His brothers rarely called him when he was still on campus. Furthermore, it was usually to either tell the twins something, to ask him to pick something up on his way home, or to inform him of last minute family plans. They were never weird like this.

“You didn’t say over. Over.”

“Levi what are you talking about? Where are you?”

“Omg Asmo just say over. Over.”

Asmo let out an annoyed sigh and rolled his eyes in Solomon’s direction. This was ridiculous. “ Fine. What do you want?”

Silence.

Levi’s pout was palpable through the speaker

Asmo groaned. “Over.”

This was dumb, but Levi now sounded pleased.

“We’re continuing our stakeout like we said we would. Mammon had me and the twins to scout out your campus today. I’m rotating out with him and Satan. Over.”

“You can’t be serious. At my school ?”

“You forgot to say over,” Solomon mused, leaning into Asmo’s phone. The warmth of his breath caressed Asmo’s skin. He suppressed the shudder that desperately wanted to run through him and shot Solomon a look. All Solomon did was laugh in response.

“Beel tells me that there’s no one by the snack bar,” Asmo heard,  Levi sigh, “And I think Belphie fell asleep on his phone. Unless this keysmashing is a new form of code. Over.”

“You really don’t need to do this…. Over.”

“Oh but we do! Just think about all of the implications this has! Remember that manga I was telling you about? It has the greatest ending once they find out who it is and I can only imagine-”

“ Perfect . Great . Listen, I’m sure you have some work to get back to and Solomon and I are busy and have plans so goodbye Levi! Love you! See you later! At home. Not on my campus .”

Click .

Asmo needed that nap.

*****

Solomon’s bed was comfortable. Not that Asmo’s wasn’t, but a bed in general had never felt more heavenly (and Asmo had been in a lot of them). It smelt like him, and it was oddly comforting. Like a candle that had just been snuffed out, or like a distant fire. It was wrapped all around him and lulled Asmo into a sense of security. Everything was safe and secure and alright. He was alright. He’d woken up to more of Luke’s treats and hot chocolate and a warm greeting from Simeon once he stepped out of Solomon’s room, and Solomon working on his latest project on the couch. The sun fell on him in the most perfect of ways. Asmo couldn’t help but stare. He wondered only for a moment if Simeon noticed him, but that thought didn’t last long before Solomon invited him to join him for a bit. He asked him about his nap, if he felt better now, if he’d like him to walk him home once more.

It felt wonderful.

It was perfect.

It was nothing short of peaceful.

This was what absolute bliss felt like, and it  kept relaying in his mind long after he got home.

What he wouldn’t give to have this be his day to day life.

Especially after he found the next letter.

Perhaps it was over optimistic of him to believe that Solomon wrote it, but he had been with Solomon all day and he hadn’t noticed anyone else. The thought of Solomon made his heart flutter as he read over it. He felt so incredibly stupid giggling and wiping away stray tears as he read and reread the words over and over and over again. This was what Secret did to him… Or… Well...What Solomon did to him he supposed. He made him feel so wonderful, like he could float on air. No one had ever made him feel quite like this. Something was blooming within Asmo. He wasn’t sure what it was quite yet, but he loved it.

A Crush? Love? Adoration?

It didn’t matter. What mattered was that it was Asmo’s, and that he never wanted it to end, and he never wanted it to stop making him feel so wonderful.

If I could rewrite the past for you and give you the life you deserved

I would

If I had any say in how things went

I would make sure you had the most pleasant dreams when you slept at night

I would rip every star from the night sky and weave you a crown if I were able

I would go to the gates of Hell itself and back

And face off against the devil himself.

I would do it all for you

Because everything about you is wonderful in my eyes

I want to give you the best,

To take care of you,

And give you everything I have

Until there is nothing left to give.

Because you deserve every good thing this world has to give

I adore you.

I love you.

I want to be closer to you.

I’ll never leave you.

For as long as my heart beats

It belongs to you

And no one else.

You are my everything

My eternity.

An existence without you is not one at all.

You haunt my dreams and my thoughts

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

You deserve so much in this life,

And in any other.

I will give you everything I have until there’s nothing left.

My Darling, Think of Me,

Your Secret

It made him melt, just like the pink, heart-shaped candies in his mouth. Maybe Solomon had improved his penmanship after all.

The words plagued his thoughts long after he put the letter down, towing with the idea of texting Solomon in reference to the letter. Should he send something playful? Something flirty? Of course he wanted to be creative. Solomon had put so much into his little gifts and letters. The living room TV played quietly in the living room as he sat on the couch. For once the room was quiet and absent of anyone else other than himself and Cerberus who was laying on the floor contently. Every now and again Asmo would read down to scratch his ears or pet his soft fur. It was an odd feeling, but after being harassed by his brothers, it was welcomed. What made it even sweeter was the mood going to Solomon’s had put him in.

However, the silence also brought his attention closer to the creaking door opening and closing, and Cerberus’ head perked up. Lucifer came in rubbing his temples and for a moment the two brothers made eye contact. Lucifer looked completely thrown off and his clothes from yesterday were slung over one arm. The clothes he was currently wearing were definitely not his. They were too big, too loose, too comfortable . It definitely was not a Lucifer look.  It was an odd sight, and it took Asmo a while to process. Then it hit Asmo and his jaw dropped. He’d always joked and pressed about it, but really?

“Asmodeus,” Lucifer warned, eyes boring into Asmo’s very soul.

“No, you didn’t .”

“Asmodeus, do not.”

“Did you really-?”

“ Asmodeus .”

“You spent the night!” the last bit came out as a squeal and Lucifer rubbed his temples.  

Asmo couldn’t believe it.Had he been right? Did his brother and Diavolo have a thing going on? He always thought it was obvious but-

“Someone drank a little too much when we went out and I couldn’t leave him,” Lucifer huffed, “So I made sure he was alright.”

“I drink a little too much sometimes and I’m able to come  home and be by myself alright. Hypothetically.”

The only reason Asmo added that ‘hypothetically’ was because of the look Lucifer shot him. Of course, his darling younger brother would absolutely never go out and get trashed only to wander back to his room (or to Solomon’s) and crash. He was always fine though, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Asmo could take care of himself.

“Come on, you can tell me! I love hearing all about romance, you know that,” Asmo begged. Was he being a hypocrite on multiple levels? Absolutely. Did he care? Nope.

Lucifer sighed and shook his head, “I like to keep my private life private Asmodeus. I do not speak on my relationship with Diavolo because I do not want to. That is that.”

“You could bring him over more…”

The two stared at each other once more. Both were withholding information that neither of them were willing to discuss.

“Don’t start spreading my personal matters to other people. I allow you privacy with your relationships, I only ask the same of you.”

Asmo huffed and fell back onto the couch. Yeah, Lucifer didn’t want to hear the juicy details of his relationships (which were always Asmo’s favorite part about hearing of other people’s relationships) only when things went wrong. Which… Asmo wasn’t completely mad at him for. He didn’t snoop around like some of his other brothers, and he had gotten Asmo out of a few rough patches with other partners. Sure, he could be a little overbearing at times and parental to a fault, but at the end of the day he cared. He didn’t want to see them hurt.

But Asmo could also take care of himself. Even if something bad happened. He could take care of himself.

After a moment, he nodded reluctantly and slumped down a bit, “Fine.” He watched Lucifer circle over to pat Cerberus’ head before heading off to his room, Cerberus in tow. “But can you tell me a little bit? Later. On your own terms?”

He still wanted to know… Lucifer always seemed happy with Diavolo….

Lucifer stopped and for the third time that night, a silence settled between them. Had Asmo gone too far? He was just about to slink away to his room and forget about his question when Lucifer turned his head to look at him. “Perhaps… We’ll see. Goodnight Asmodeus. Sweet dreams.”

And then he was gone.

Sweet dreams indeed .

That night, Asmo found himself surrounded by Solomon’s smokey aroma in his dreams. It was comforting and wonderful. He could help but think about how Diavolo and Lucifer had most likely been curled up together, and Solomon did the same to him in his dream. He held him closer than any partner had ever held him before. He allowed Solomon to take Secret’s place. To let those honey-laced words pour our in Solomon’s smooth, even voice. It was perfect. It was all beyond perfect. This was what Asmo wanted. Fuck his self restraint. He’d let his heart run wild. After all, it had to be Solomon. It just had to be . He couldn’t understand how it couldn’t be him. Besides, Solomon’s presence was welcomed, and a wonderful one to fill  his dreams.