#but even though i told her i was sick that first tuesday she said the doctors note only excused me from the thursday lab

[steviescrystals]

the last post i reblogged just reignited my rage over something that happened my freshman year of college so mini rant in the notes lol

[angel-kyo]

Pay it no mind

Part XVI (kinda? Idk. Explanation in the note.)

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. I would say reader is ooc in this one, or it might feel like that. I don't know. There are also mentions of a difficult family situation (awful father, deceased mother, etc.)... Oh, and this almost makes me look anti-Gojo (I'm not, though).

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part IV, Part XV

----------------------

“Aomori?” you repeated in disbelief. Isn’t that like…?”

Haruki leaned forward on his elbows on the table and placed his head in his hands in frustration. You watched his fingers bury themselves in his brown curls and tug them.

“It’s about a ten-hour bus ride or four hours in the train...” he said without looking at you. His eyes were on the table, and you could only see the top of his head. “That if I’m lucky… Which I am not, obviously,” he grumbled and lifted his head to look at you.

You two were at the coffee shop where he worked, or rather, used to work. He had submitted his resignation the day before.

“That’s far.” You were not sure of what else to say. The notice of his departure was coming in too sudden. Only a few days ago you had been talking about maybe meeting up on New Year’s Eve, and now he was leaving? “For… For how long?”

Ikeda looked outside and shrugged. “He’s transferring me there so I guess he means at least until the end of high school, and then…” he frowned. In fact, he was not sure of what would happen after that. “I’m sure that jerk will come up with something else.”

Haruki looked back at you and, realizing what he had said, quickly apologized for speaking like that in front of you.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t believe he did this behind my back. I knew he could not stand seeing me, but I never thought he would plan something like this and ambush me any other Tuesday.”

He sighed, and you looked at him with sympathy. It was the most distressed you had ever seen him, and the most upset too.

Haruki, who always looked happy and unbothered when he was with you, had only ever appeared uncomfortable, and sometimes even angered, when he spoke about his father. At first, you had believed they just did not get along, but it was more than that; Haruki had told you once that his father seemed to resent him since his mother left.

“I’ve never blamed her,” he told you one day while you waited for his train, “she was sick and he was never at home, but when he was, he was horrible to her.”

He had then showed you her picture. A beautiful woman with long brown hair and bright eyes a few shades clearer than her locks, smiling and hugging an eight-year-old Haruki; he had definitely gotten the looks from her, and it was evident she had loved him dearly.

Due to her illness, Haruki’s mother had passed away just a couple years after leaving her husband, before she was able to fulfill her promise to his son to come back for him. Hence, Haruki had ended up stuck with a resentful father who was almost never at home, but when he was, he was as horrible to his son as he had been to the mother he resembled. And now, he was sending him to live with his uncle in a distant prefecture to attend a new school.

He had given Haruki little less than a week to, and the boy quoted, “wrap up any business in Tokyo.”

Apparently, that included you, who did your best to comfort him, even if there was not much you could say or do.

“I will miss you,” Ikeda said after you assured him it would be alright and that two or three years would sure fly by, and then he would not need to listen to what his father or his uncle said. It seemed his mood had improved a little at that.

“I will miss you too,” you told him, still wrapping your head around the idea of not seeing him anymore.

If only you could see curses, maybe there would be another way out for you, maybe we could have more time.

You pushed that thought away. That was selfish thinking, was it not? Of course, you would not want Haruki to live in gore and pain as a sorcerer. There had to be better, more peaceful options for him somewhere.

“I like you a lot.” His words pulled you out of your head, and when your eyes focused on him, you noticed his face was flushed, but he was looking right at you. “I think I could have loved you. Not that I don’t now,” he smiled softly, “but in the way I wanted to love you.”

There was a tinge of sadness in his voice, but your heart was beating faster as he spoke. Did that mean you wanted to love him too?

“I…” you started, but he shook his head and smiled.

“It’s fine. I thought we had more time, so I did not tell you sooner, but now, I just realized I wanted to let you know in person.”

Haruki had not planned to confess that day. He was only going to tell you he was leaving and ask you to stay in touch but realizing that it might be the last time he was going to see you in, perhaps, a long time, he felt he needed to tell you. He had wanted to tell you since the first time you had accepted going out with him that summer, but he then thought it was better not to rush and just let your friendship take its course.

At the end of the day, people should honor their feelings.

That he believed whole-heartedly. That is why Gojo’s attitude had annoyed him, acting as a jealous boyfriend around you if he was nearby but still claiming to be just your friend. If he wanted more, he should admit it instead of doing whatever he thought he was doing that day he accompanied him to the station.

“Haruki, I like you too,” you said sincerely.

But do you like me as I like you? the boy wondered.

He would not ask you that as he would not ask for more at this point. What could he ask, that you waited for him? He was not that arrogant to believe you had to do it nor that idealistic to make promises he knew time could swallow. Knowing that you had cared about him was enough.

He gave you a closed-eye smile. “I’m so glad.”

***

But saying it had not changed anything. You and Haruki had agreed to staying in touch and he had hugged you tightly before letting you go.

Maybe he knew we would drift apart.

You had kept texting and calling each other after that. Once he was with his uncle, he had given you his address, so you could exchange letters; he even sent you a few postcards with some pretty views around his new city. For a little while, you thought you could remain friends and just live on it, but his absence became increasingly painful, and when you both got busy with school again, and he was barely replying to your messages and his letters felt distant, the realization that maybe you had truly loved and lost was devastating.

It happened slowly but not painlessly. There was just never a good time for a quick call anymore, the messages were fewer and shorter, and you probably did not reply to the last one because there was nothing to say, and finally, the letters. Oh, the letters... Once funny and vibrant as your friend had been, they became nothing but curt and disappointing. It was hard to believe that two people who once had so much to talk about could barely bring themselves to write more than a few lines for each other.

I guess people can enter your life seamlessly, but they can hardly leave like that.

Your friends comforted you to their best, and Satoru made it his mission to ensure you would not feel lonely doing the things you liked anymore. Despite your protests, he attached himself to your hip as he had done it when you were kids, even on the days when you did not want to leave your room.

And when, months after Haruki’s departure, you sat down in front of the training fields, tired of waiting for a letter that would not come, Satoru held your hand firmly as you accepted your loss and stayed by your side unfaltering, the same way you would do for him when Suguru left you all later down the road.

That was how, as the seasons changed, you quietly let go of your friend who had been a child of the spring himself.

----------------------

Note: I almost did not want to include this part? I mean, I felt like the other guy needed some explaining, and as much as I enjoyed it, I would say this is almost a filler, so I'm sorry of it's bad. Anyways, if the next part is not the last one, it will sure bring us quite closer. I've not forgotten where I left Satoru, promise!

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part XVII

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke @allie-jay @username23345 @spin-garden @ashehateaccount @kayzens @blehtotheblehtothebleh @stellasloth @bloopsstuff

[mynameismckenziemae]

In Case You Didn’t Know

Part 8

(previous part here, next part here)

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x You

Summary: Bradley greets you at the airport and you find something interesting while packing up Jake’s apartment.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, this one gets a bit kinkier 😏🥴smut, mutual masturbation, toy use, ass play

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

“How much stuff do you have in San Diego?” You ask as you towel-dry your hair.

“Not much, mostly just clothes. The apartment came with furniture and never felt like getting my own. Guess even my subconscious knew I wasn’t planning on staying there long-term. I asked because I really just want you to come with me and meet the crew.”

“Good, your clothes should fit here, unless you have more than me. I wasn’t sure how we’d fit furniture though. And of course, I’ll come,” you smile. You’ve seen pictures but were excited to meet the people you’ve heard so much about.

He’s stuck on the first part of your reply. “You want me to move in?”

You nod. “I do, if you want to. I love waking up to you every morning. Even if you do hog the covers.”

“Do not,” he argues, snapping you with his wet towel.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Jake: I told her about the job and moving back home. She asked me to move in…like fully move in since I’m already basically living here.

🐓: Nice! Is she coming with you to get things settled here?

Jake: Yes. I ordered the ring today, it should be here by Tuesday. Are you sure you don’t mind recording? My ma will kill me if she doesn’t see it. She’s already mad she won’t be there. 🙄

🐓: I’m sure. I love your mom already.

🐓: Almost as much as your sister 🥵🤤

Jake: 🖕🏻

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Jake brings you a beautiful bouquet of flowers on Wednesday, the day before you leave when he comes for his last appointment to be cleared with Dr. Hayes.

“Oh they’re beautiful, thank you,” you say, kissing him on the cheek, smiling at the blush that spreads over his face.

“Beautiful flowers for my beautiful girl,” he replies. You roll your eyes but smile.

“I think Hayes is ready for you,” you say, leading Jake to his office.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

“Everything looks great, Jake. You’re cleared to get back to it,” Hayes tells him as he signs the forms. “Char told me you’re moving back though?”

“Yeah, after I get everything taken care of in San Diego. I took a position as an instructor in Kingsville, so I should be home most nights, other than short trips for training. The accident not only scared me but made me realize what’s really important,” Jake answers as he puts his shoe back on.

“I’ve never seen her happier. She hasn’t been herself since her mom got sick and then passed away. It’s so good to see her smile again.”

“Yeah, I agree. Can you keep a secret?” Jake asks as he gets off the exam table to sit in the chair by the desk.

“Yes, unless it’s something bad. My loyalty lies with Charlie,” Hayes says seriously as he continues working on the endless forms, but his lip quirks.

“It’s not. I’m gonna ask her to marry me when we’re in California,” Jake smiles.

Hayes drops his pen. “Oh man, that’s great! Congratulations!” He grins, clapping Jake on the back.

“She hasn’t said yes yet, but thanks,” Jake laughs.

“She will.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

The flight to San Diego is uneventful and the first thing you see by the baggage is the uniformed man with a mustache that you’ve heard so much about holding a bright pink sign that reads, ‘Welcome Home from Rehab Jake! Your Sex Addiction Doesn’t Define You!’

“For fucks sake, Bradshaw,” Jake mutters when he’s close enough to read it.

You laugh and meet Bradley in a hug. “I’m Bradley or Rooster. Nice to finally meet you, Charlie.”

“Nice to meet you too, thanks for helping him get to me,” you reply. “I love the sign.”

“Yeah. Real funny. Did you manage to think of that one yourself?” Jake says, cracking into a smile before he hugs him too.

“Nah, good ol’ Google helped me with it,” he grins.

Bradley drives the two of you to Jake’s apartment, helps get your bags inside, and opens the windows to air out the stale space while Jake changes.

“He looks so much better than when I dropped him off at the airport. Not just the injuries, he looked haunted almost. I would’ve flown with him had I known the idiot was going to take an Uber to your house,” Bradley says with a sigh.

“He sure does, I’ve never seen him look the way he did when he showed up on my doorstep. It’s not your fault, thanks for getting him as far as you did,” you smile.

“So tell me about Emma. Jake won’t give me anything, I think he’s just trying to be a protective big brother, but-“

“He’s not. He’s protecting you,” you laugh. “Emma is an amazing woman, but she’ll eat you alive. She’s a large animal vet. She’s wild, fun, incredibly smart, and a fiercely loyal friend but has no interest in relationships,” you smile sadly, remembering how gutted Emma was after her breakup with her high-school sweetheart. Something more had happened but she never would talk about it.

“Hmmm,” Bradley hums as if he’s undeterred.

“I’m good to go, you’ll be okay here for a bit? I’ll ride with Bradshaw but my truck’s in the garage if you want to go anywhere,” Jake says entering the living room.

“No problem, I can start packing for you…” you trail off as your mouth goes dry when you see him in his service khakis.

He smirks when he watches you look him over, eyes lingering where his biceps strain against his sleeves.

“I’ll uh, meet you outside. Not to be a cockblock but Cyclone’s expecting us in 20 minutes. See ya later, Charlie!” Bradley says as he shuts the door, noticing the heat in your gazes.

Jake grips the back of your neck and drags you to him in a rough kiss. “You looking at me like that does things to me, Charlie,” he murmurs against your lips.

“Like what?” You smile at his growl.

“This,” he groans as he brings your hand to palm his erection.

“Mmmm, I’ll take care of this later, I promise. You better go though, don’t want to leave on a bad note,” you say, pulling back from his lips and giving him a final stroke of your palm.

“Yeah, you’re right. Fuck,” he sighs, combing a hand through his hair before adjusting himself and heading to the door. “Love you.”

“Love you too!”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

It doesn’t take you long to get his belongings into boxes before you move to the bedroom to pack his clothes. You smile, even though he’s been gone for several weeks, it still smells of his cologne and a hint of leather.

After you have his clothes put away, you check the drawer of his nightstand. You laugh (and blush) at what you find; a half-empty bottle of lube, tissues, expired condoms, a stroker toy, and a picture of you. It’s from a few summers ago when you went with your mom and his family up north fishing. You’re standing with your back to him at the edge of the dock, in a cheeky bikini, laughing at something he said.

It’s a cute picture, but the crinkled corner and the fact that it was hidden with those other items tell you exactly what he was doing while looking at it.

You take a picture of it, along with the other things you found, and send him a text.

Charlie: Found this picture of me hidden in your nightstand with some other interesting items. Did you use a PG-13 picture of me to jerk off? You do know PornHub is free, right? 😂

Jake: …no comment.

Charlie: I want to watch you use the toy. Like right when you get home.

Jake: Jesus. Okay. How do you even know what that is? From your sex books?

Charlie: You do know PornHub is free, right? 😏

Jake: Thanks for that visual. I’m hard now.

Charlie: 😘

Jake: We should be wrapping up here shortly, see you soon.

Charlie: I’ll be here waiting on your bed, touching myself.

Jake: Fuck. Don’t you dare stop before I get there.

Charlie:🫡

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Jake bursts through the front door exactly 23 minutes later, and you’re nearing your second orgasm as he enters his bedroom, nearly tripping when he tries to get out of his pants.

“Don’t break your other leg,” you smile, sighing when you circle your clit faster, bringing yourself to the edge again quickly as you feel his eyes on you.

“Fuck!” You cry, arching your back as he leans forward, pushing your hands out of the way to lick your arousal, flicking his tongue over your clit. That’s all it takes for you to come apart with a drawn-out moan.

You have to stop him from going back for more. “I want to watch you now.”

His eyes close with a shudder. “Okay.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

“You are so fucking hot, Jake,” you breathe as you watch.

His eyes fall shut with a grunt at your words. His back is against the headboard, his hand fisting his cock. You’re kneeling between his legs, running your fingers over his thick, muscular thighs.

You lean forward like you’re going to kiss him but duck your head right before his lips touch yours to flick your tongue over his nipple. You smile at his frustrated sigh.

You tease his nipples, alternating between them with your fingers and mouth; pinching, biting, twisting, sucking. You commit to memory what elicits the best sounds before pulling back to hand him the lube and the toy.

“Do you want to see my collection when we get back? I haven’t needed any of my toys since we’ve gotten together but I think it’s only fair since I get to watch you.”

“Hell yeah I do,” he pants before he pushes into the lube-slicked toy with a groan

“Feel good?” You ask, biting your lip.

“Not even close as good as you, but yeah.”

Excess lube slides down his shaft, giving you an idea as you collect some on your finger.

“Can I try something?”

“Anything your kinky heart desires, sweetheart,” he replies.

You encourage him to scoot down further and bend his knees. Your left hand cups his sack as your right brushes the sensitive skin below and he jolts when your lubed finger finds his hole.

“This okay?” You ask when you lightly circle the tight ring of muscle.

“Mhmm, just surprised me,” he chuckles, but it turns into a moan when you lightly press.

You continue for a few minutes, circling and pressing, circling and pressing. “Still okay?” You ask as you push your finger in, letting him get used to the feeling.

“Yeah, still-holy shit!” He gasps, gripping the base of his cock to stave off his orgasm. “Wait-just…give me a second and do it again.”

“Found your prostate,” you smile, kissing his knee and rolling his balls in your left hand again until he relaxes.

His back arches when you press brush over it a second time, “Fuck! Please, again?” He rasps, tears are beginning to leak from his eyes.

His head drops back against the headboard as he jerks himself faster, the toy making lewd squelching sounds when you press gently once more. You whimper as you watch him cum with a broken sob.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

A/N: no comment 🥴

As always, any interaction is appreciated but I love hearing what you think in comments/reblogs.

Tagging:

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@dizzybee03

@sweetwhispersofchaos

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@blindedbythelightt

@getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth

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@mrsevans90

[sanyu-thewitch05]

More on Hunter McClaire and Darling in college:

Classmate: Uh Y/n who's that guy?

Hunter:*hugging Darling from behind while putting his chin on top of her head*

Darling: He's my boyfriend

Classmate: He's really clingy huh

Darling: You don't say

I absolutely love this heathers inspired OC. So here’s my headcanons. Also, darling is getting married her first year in college.

Hunter and Darling in college:

They got into an Ivy League school and got scholarships.

Most of darling’s scholarships was from her being in the local majorette team. He tried to pull her out of it, but he enjoyed seeing her in the costumes too much.

Hunter and darling don’t live on campus. He couldn’t handle the fact they’d be living apart. They live in an apartment near campus.

Their apartment bedroom is literally half and half. Darling still wanted her pink and nerd stuff. Hunter wanted his jock and macho stuff. So they compromised.

Hunter and Darling have the same classes. Luckily Darling settled on majoring in business with him.

Little does she know that she’ll be pregnant with Hunter’s baby by her senior year.

Dude has it all planned out. Marry darling by spring of her first year, enjoy two years of marriage, then start a family by senior year. That way he already has an heir to pass the company onto. And his parents can have a grandbaby to spoil.

Though his baby plan is put on hold when he discovers darling has an nexplanon implant in her arm when he gets her hormone results back (long story short, Hunter wanted to know why darling was more moody than usual after that one day he had to travel for a football game. Darling said she was sick and couldn’t make it. He believed her and the minute he hung up, she went to planned parenthood for a nexplanon implant)

He’s not happy. The only protection they use is condoms and that’s all they need. “What if the rod hurts you, babe? How could you be so stupid? This is why I need to attend your medical appointments.” Hunter told her to remove the rod, but darling didn’t. Eventually, he found out she lied and knocked her out. When darling came to, the rod was out.

Heath and Henry are in the same college too. That’s who watches over darling now if Hunter had to leave if it’s not football related. If he had to leave for football, both Heath and Henry, are on the team with him so they’re out. Instead he chains your leg to the apartment bed, and leaves a few sex toys and microwaveable meals.

There’s also a camera pointing right at you. Hunter enjoys watching you do your daily life like you usually would.

When he gets back he’s loving you right. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, seven days a week(I’m sorry for the Seven reference)

But seriously your pelvis is hurting for a while.

Hunter does most things for you like washing your hair( what if you get soap in your eyes?) and bathing you( he needs to make sure you’re not trying to wash his cum out)

You even eat his sometimes sprinkled with viagra and aphrodisiacs food. Admittedly, it freaks you out how he stares at you when you eat his meals.

“Are you enjoying the food, darling?”

“What’s in this?”

“Nothing out of the usual.”

“Ok* sarcasm*”

Hunter cuddles you like crazy. He is always the big spoon.

Which you don’t really mind because he’s big and has muscles.

Unfortunately, that means if he turns over, you turn with him. His grip is extremely tight.

[hangmanbrainrot]

just anything with Jake as a dad!

I generally just love the idea of dad(ddy)!Jake, so this was such a fun lil’ thing to write. Sorry it took so long!

Drabble below the cut!

warnings: excessive fluff, cursing, brief mention of pregnancy, reader has a child, brief mention of deployment & time apart word count: 730 pairing: jake seresin x afab!reader

snow day

The first thing you heard was shrieking laughter, coming from downstairs. You rolled over in bed and took a peek at the alarm clock. 10:03 AM. And your daughter was… laughing, downstairs. On a Tuesday morning. God, you felt sick. How on earth had you slept through your alarm? You swore you set it and your backup and your backup backup. Darting up out of bed, you shoved your feet into winter boots and decided your sweatpants and borrowed t-shirt (Jake’s) would have to do for school drop off. It was bad enough you were late and would have to venture inside to sign her in. Hopefully there would be a different admin at the desk than the last time this happened. It was harder when Jake was away, but you hated sounding like you were looking for pity. You knew what you signed up for when you married him. Time apart came with the deal. Even now, even when you wished you could sleep in, and someone else could get your kid ready for school. But Jake was away, and not due back for another two weeks. Just two more weeks.

So, naturally, when you ventured downstairs and someone was in your kitchen, you let out a blood-curdling scream.

The form turned to reveal your husband — because, of course it was, who else could it have been? You became a light sleeper 5 years ago, you darted awake the moment something in your home didn’t sound right. So, of course your body hadn’t alerted you to Jake’s arrival, your natural defense system on standby because it’s Jake. It’s Jake. 

His green eyes swept over you with worry and concern as you approached, while your daughter, currently coiled around his torso, gazed with amusement out the window. 

“Look, Mommy, snow day!” she chirped, just at the right moment. 

“Yeah, Mommy, snow day,” Jake chimed in, a grin lifting the corners of his lips as he leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead. “Welcome home.”

“Hey, that’s my line,” you retorted sourly, leaning your now kissed forehead against his chest.

He laughed gruffly and freed an arm to wrap around your shoulders. “Surprise.”

“What are you two up to? And when did you get in?”

“A few hours ago. I came in and said hello, do you really not remember?”

“Must’ve thought I was dreaming,” you muttered, a flush creeping up your neck. 

“Daddy, the pancakes,” your daughter said almost conspiratorially from her perch on Jake’s hip.

“Shit.”

“Ooh, daddy said a bad word,” she remarked with a giddy laugh as he set her down onto the counter. You were sure her father would deposit a quarter in her pink piggy bank later.

After a moment of two of artful flipping, Jake whirled back around to face you with a bright smile, and it was then that you realized he hadn’t changed since coming home. Just came right upstairs to you and your daughter, and decided a snow day meant pancakes for breakfast.

“Breakfast is both saved and served!” he remarked, clearly feeling self-satisfied. 

As the three of you sat down for breakfast, your daughter filled Jake in on how her first few months at school had gone with startling though sometimes exaggerated detail. He littered her with follow-up questions like a daytime tv show host, and there wasn’t a single ounce of playfulness in his tone. He regarded every single second of every single story she told as the most precious, most important thing he’d heard so far today. Because it was. 

When you’d found out you were pregnant, he was preparing to leave again. You’d been married just weeks prior. It was so early it was still dark outside, but he’d promised you in the low light of your bedroom, still littered with moving boxes, that his free time was yours. Whispering, and sounding like he was on the verge of tears, “I know I’m gone a lot, but I promise to be present when I’m here. I promise I’ll be with you, in every way I can, whenever I can.”

And now, as you watched your husband absolutely dote on your daughter, you were more assured than ever that he was keeping his word.

[bullet-prooflove]

5+1: Part 4: Doing Time (Joe Velasco x Reader)

Tagging: @plaidbooks @misscharlielulu @witches-unruly-heart @shay-o-fiction @kimm4710 @ednastvincent @storiesofsvu @magic-multicolored-miracle @rosaliedepp @cycat4077 @crazy4chickennuggets @cixrosie @themisunderstoodblackswan @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @mysoulisasunflower @kabloswrld @xoxabs88xox

Part One: 5+1: Chokehold

Part Two: 5+1: Ice Pack

Part Three: 5+1: In Sickness & In Health

You’d seen Joe Velasco behind bars once before. In fact, it had been the first time you had met him, he’d been playing the role of Q, an influencer with a taste for young girls. He played the part well; you’d thought he was a complete scumbag when you’d first slapped the cuffs on him. Your disgust was evident when you’d locked him up with a guy that was hurling his guts out from drinking himself half to death.  

Today though, today was for real. He was splayed out on one of the beds in the 2-9, his arm flung up over his eyes in a bid to protect them from the fluorescent light that buzzed overhead.

“At least you get the cell to yourself this time around.”

Joe swung his legs over the ledge of the slender mattress, his hands rubbing over his face in an attempt to rub the grit from his eyes.

“How’d you know I was here?” he asked you, those exhausted green eyes fixating on yours. “I told them not to call anyone.”

“Chavez and me, we go all the way back to the academy.” You told him jerking your thumb back towards the Squad Room. “She knows I work for Manhattan SVU, and she wanted to check out your story.”

“I’m sorry to drag your ass out of bed...” His gaze rose to the clock hanging on the wall across from the cell. “…at two am on a Tuesday.”

“I look like hell right?” You told him, shaking your head. “You’re lucky I didn’t come down here in sweatpants.”

Joe smiled; it was the first time you had seen it make an appearance over the past couple of days. The case with the girls from his hometown was wearing on him, you could see the way it dogged his footsteps. You knew that he was hurting deep inside, that he dreamt about the one he hadn’t been able to save, the one had ended up burned to death on in empty wasteland.

“Nah, you look great.” He told you as he stood up, groaning as the vertebra popped in his back.

He meant it, he liked this version of you. Your hair was pulled back into a messy bun, you were wearing a rumpled t-shirt with a faded blue care bear on the front over jeans you had definitely left on the floor overnight. It was real, domesticated. He liked this insight into your world.

“Is this where you read me the riot act?” he asked you, stepping up to the bars and gripping them in his large hands.

“No.” You told him, your hands coming to rest on his, your fingers settling in the grooves of his knuckles. He savoured that sensation, the tenderness of it. “I understand why you did it. What happened to those girls, what happened to Maribel it shouldn’t happen to anyone.”

His head came to rest on the bars as his gaze met yours.

“I see her every time I close my eyes.” He said softly. “These girls… All they want is a better life, away from the gangs, the violence, the threat of rape. They just want a chance to make it, and then these parasites, they use them up and they spit them out like their nothing.”

“It’s not fair.” You said quietly, your forehead coming to rest against his through the bars. It was a sliver of contact, a speckle of comfort but Joe allowed himself to take solace in it. He had been burning up with rage when he’d gone out on the streets tonight, it had poured out of him as he stalked the streets questioning the working girls because each one had their own story, their own sorrow. His own grief was eating him upside, because he knew if he didn’t find these girls, they would suffer a worse fate than even he could imagine.

“I couldn’t just sit at home, not while they’re out there, having God knows what done to them.”

“I know.” You whispered as his nose trailed along yours until your lips were barely apart. “I can’t break you out of here.”

“Then why did you come here?” he asked you, his forest green eyes fixated in yours.

He knew, of course he did. The two of you had flirted along this line for long enough to know that there were feelings there, it was one thing being partners but the both of you, you were heading in a completely different direction.

“Because I actually give a shit about you.” You answered, edges of your mouth turning up into that teasing smile.

Despite the day he was having, the fact he was behind bars and the knowledge that he was going to get reamed out by Benson in the morning, Joe laughed. It was a wonderful sound, a dispelling of pressure from his lungs, he felt the weight on his chest begin to shift a little and he wondered how you did that, how you always managed to make things seem a little brighter.

“Yea.” He smiled. “I guess you do.”

Love Joe Velasco? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[heavencasteel420]

I probably won't finish the fifth chapter of Tonight, Tonight, the Highway's Bright until Tuesday or so, but in honor of the We Love Jancy Fanfic Event, I'm posting the first bit (Nancy's letter to Jonathan) right here:

Dear Jonathan,

Guess who’s grounded for a week because she disappeared for almost three hours on Thanksgiving Day? That’s right—it’s me! Mom was frantic when I came home, with Dad and all the relatives tiptoeing around her, nibbling on hors d’ouvres. Apparently she’d called Steve (even though he was in Virginia with his grandparents for Thanksgiving) and Tommy (as though I’d spend any time with Tommy on my own) and Carol (which at least makes sense—she was in town and we do hang out a lot, unfortunately). Plus half a dozen other people from school, so everybody’s whispering about how I’ve gone crazy again. I guess I’m lucky, because if I hadn’t broken my hand and screamed at my mom in front of everyone last winter, they’d be gossiping about how I must have been cheating on Steve, or doing drugs in the woods, or going to the Planned Parenthood in Bloomington for a VD test. I’m insane enough that nobody has a problem believing that I’d skip out on Thanksgiving just to smoke cigarettes and listen to The Lexicon of Love in my car by myself.

(Do you like ABC? I bet not. I bet they’re too goofy for you.)

That’s what I told everyone, by the way. I figured you wouldn’t want everyone in your business, even though you don’t live here anymore. I thought about telling Mom, because she always liked you and she’d be glad to hear you were doing all right. She’d probably say something to Dad, though, and he’d let it slip to people at his job. I thought about telling Steve, too, because he’s maybe the only person who seems to think I was acting weird (for me, I mean). He keeps asking why I didn’t just fake sick or go to Carol’s if I needed a break from my family. That’s what he does when things are tense at home, basically: pretend to be too tired from basketball practice and hole up in his bedroom, or visit me or Tommy. Sometimes I worry that he has the idea that I’m cheating, like maybe Billy Hargrove said something to him, but I don’t really think that’s it. He’d be mad at me and Billy, and he’d be hurt, and he’d have every right to feel that way, but he wouldn’t be too scared to ask me if it was true. Because that would be a shitty thing to do—it was shitty to let Billy feel me up that one time—but sometimes normal girls cheat on their boyfriends. He’d know what to do with that—dump me or forgive me or get back at me with some other girl. But I don’t think he even knows what he’s afraid I’m doing.

Speaking of being afraid to ask things, Mom hasn’t said one word about the cobbler. At first I assumed she’d forgotten—there were two pies and cookies and ice cream for the dessert already—but then Dad asked if there were any leftovers of the cobbler on Sunday, and she told him it’d all been eaten up. Maybe it was. It’d be a lot for one person, but probably your roommate ate some of it. What’s he like, anyway? I don’t think I even asked whether you met him through school or work or what. I guess I talk a lot about myself. Did you like the cobbler?

Well, I get out of prison on Saturday. I’m going shopping for winter formal dresses with Carol. I am not looking forward to it. All the girls have been bringing catalogs and magazines to school this week so they can show each other their favorites, but it just makes me sad. Barb and I used to look over Seventeen for hours and talk about what we’d wear to high school dances, when that was still years away. We used to wear matching outfits. Do you remember that? The same styles, but different colors, because I was a brunette and she was a redhead. Like Betsy-Tacy. But you’ve probably never heard of Betsy-Tacy.

Anyway, Carol’s a redhead, too, and she’s mad because pink dresses are so “in” this year. It’s hard to find one that’s any other color. She thinks it’s some kind of fashion law that you can’t wear pink if you’re a redhead, even though all the magazines say that you just need to pick a shade that complements your hair color. She told me that’s just a lie advertisers made up to sell lipsticks. (There’s no way you’re interested in this debate, but you’re going to hear all about it, anyway.) She’s been pissing off all the other girls by criticizing their dress choices. Chrissy Cunningham, one of the cheerleaders, almost cried because Carol said her carnation-pink Gunne Sax gown would made her complexion “look like ass.” And Nicole Evans isn’t speaking to her because she said Nicole could wear anything she wanted, because she “has a face like an angry hardboiled egg no matter what she does.”

(I feel bad for Nicole—her face doesn’t actually look like an egg—but I’d feel worse for her if she wasn’t always talking behind my back about how sad and boring and not-that-cute I am, and how she can’t believe Steve ever looked at me twice. She’s not totally off-base, but I don’t think she should blame me for Steve’s bad taste, ha ha.)

About the only girls who are still talking to Carol are me and Heather Holloway. Heather has black hair and looks gorgeous in pink, so Carol couldn’t really insult her. (She couldn’t insult me because I didn’t tell her my dress idea—I want one like Ariel wears in Footloose, pink and off the shoulder—but I’m sure she’ll do it on Saturday.) But Heather’s mother is taking her shopping in Indianapolis, so it’s just me and Carol at the downtown J.C. Penney’s…and Mike. I don’t know if Mom’s still punishing me by making me chauffeur him—he shot up a few inches over the summer and seriously needs new pants—or if she’s just desperate to get him out of the house. Honestly, though, he’s not going to make the trip worse. Carol will be annoying about it, but she’s always kind of annoying. Plus she’ll talk the whole time, so I won’t have to figure out what to say to Mike. He’s so quiet nowadays. I worry about him sometimes.

By the way, don’t think that you’re getting out of meeting me at the mall in Indianapolis. Your time is coming, because the selection at the J.C. Penney’s downtown is never good, and I still want my dish back.

Love,

Nancy

[ejzah]

Can you do a fanfic where Kensi is finally ready to ask Deeks on a date, but chickens out at the last minute (obviously pre-Densi)

A/N: Oh my, this one has been sitting in my inbox for ages. Set sometime after “Unwritten Rule”, but before “Recovery”.

***

All the Chances that you Miss

Kensi checked her reflection in the small mirror above the sink in the women’s bathroom. Her hair hung in loose curls around her shoulders and her cheeks bore the slightest hint of blush. She’d considered lipstick, but that seemed just a little too much. The blouse in a teal blue Deeks once complimented one time would have to be enough.

“This is the day, Kensi Blye,” she told her reflection. “You’re going to ask Deeks to go out with you.” A frisson of combined fear and anticipation tightened her stomach at the thought.

This was what she wanted. If Kensi was honest with herself, she’d had feelings for Deeks for years now, though something always seemed to get in their way. First from their own stupidity and fear, then the horrific events last May. Deeks hadn’t been in any shape for a relationship, so she’d taken a step back and supported him instead.

Finally, finally, everything was in place. Deeks was back to himself for the most part and they’d found that perfect balance of flirty, teasing, and competitive. It was the perfect time to make her move.

Hence the slightly too dressy attire for a regular Tuesday and why she’d arrived at work an hour and a half early.

In the last few weeks, Deeks had started working out before everyone else arrived. Based on her calculations, he should just be leaving the locker room in a few minutes. An image of Deeks, wet, soapy, and naked, briefly filled her mind, and she shivered.

Yeah, she needed to do something before she jumped Deeks in the middle of the bullpen.

Looking herself in the eye once more, Kensi took a breath for courage, shook her hair back, and spun around before she could find a reason to stall.

As she stepped out into the hall, she caught the back of Deeks’ familiar golden curls disappearing around a corner. She waited a few seconds and then followed him.

“Hey, morning partner, you’re here early,” Deeks said, glancing up briefly from his computer when she walked in.

Kensi’s eyes lingered on the tufts of damp hair slowly drying into soft, natural curls. She could imagine how they’d feel beneath her fingers. Actually, she didn’t have to imagine. She knew from the undercover case when she’d kissed him, from the dozens of times she’d playfully tweaked a handful of grabbed his hair while sparring.

Forcing her gaze away, Kensi shrugged, even though her heart was beating unsteadily and she felt slightly sick. “Eh, I had some expense reports from last month. You know how terrifying Nell gets about late paperwork.”

“Oh, tell me about it.” Deeks laughed knowingly. “The tiny ones are always the scariest.” He squinted at something on his computer screen. “You know, if you want any help, I’m pretty caught up,” he offered.

“Thanks, but um, I actually wanted to ask you something,” Kensi began. She threaded her fingers together, standing directly in front of Deeks.

“If it’s who took the last crueler, definitely wasn’t me,” he joked, clearly expecting Kensi to threaten murder or demand compensatory pastry. Instead, she only managed a forced laugh, and squeezed her hands even tighter.

“Are you ok? You’re acting kind of strange.”

“I’m fine. I just think that takeout might not have been the best idea last night.”

“Yeah, a double cheeseburger, fries, and a chocolate malt aren’t exactly the best midnight snack,” Deeks agreed.

“Ok, enough about my eating habits, Mr. Yummy Yummy Heart Attack,” Kensi said, rolling her eyes.

“Sorry.” Folding his hands together, Deeks gave her his full attention, the deep blue of his eyes nearly distracting her again. “Please, continue.”

“Ok, so a friend of mine was going to go Cabaret, but she had something come up at work. So she gave me the tickets,” Kensi explained, just like she’d practiced. She inhaled shallowly. “I thought maybe we could go together.”

Deeks stilled, one of his eyebrows arching up. “You mean like a date?”

Kensi opened her mouth, intending to say yes, but something in her froze up. Her pulse raced again, her palms instantly growing sweaty as she imagined everything that could go wrong. A ruined friendship, the end of their partnership. “No, of course not.” She forced another laugh, the sound harsh to her own ears. “I just thought you might want to go.“

“Oh. Yeah, no, I’d love to,” Deeks answered, a tinge of disappointment in his voice. “Sounds fun.”

“Right. Well, I better get that paperwork done.” Kensi pointed over her shoulder. “And just for the record, you totally owe me a donut.”

Deeks grinned, and they were back to the status quo. Turning around, Kensi pressed her lips together, burning with regret and anger at her own cowardice.

***

A/N: I hope this is alright. As someone who frequently makes detailed plans or commitments to myself, and then chickens out at last second, I tried to convey that through Kensi.

[darkleysgarden]

Before the Obey Me prequel comes out, I want to wrote out what I think Solomon's whole connection is.

Go read my first theory on this first. This is mostly a play-by-play. My actual reasonings and all are put there. Though, I've kinda changed my mind a little and do think they were more than friends.

WARNING: SPOILERS!!!!!

So, Solomon's important. The game takes place after the Celestial War. And at this time, Solomon shouldn't be relevant. So, why is he?

Here is my little story:

A young, naive Solomon meets a beautiful young girl named Lilith. He is instantly charmed and falls in love. The two go on to date. This whole time, Lilith is hiding the fact that she is an angel. Though, unbeknownst to her, Solomon has this natural magical ability inside him. He isn't fooled but doesn't mind that she is angelic. In fact, it interests him as a smart, curious young man. She sparks a lot of his creativity and interest in magic. He begins to practice magic, and even becomes decently well known to the point that Michael recognizes him.

As you all know....this doesn't last. Solomon gets sick and is given a magical fruit by Lilith that allows him to live longer. Then the war, her death, you know this one.

After her death, Solomon is struck by grief (reasonably). His sorcery becomes much more crazed after losing someone so important to him. He makes demonic connections he never even would've considered making before. Eventually, these connections lead him to Barbatos.

Barbatos holds control over time. Solomon found this out and was hopeful that he could impress the demon somehow and get the one he loved back. He summoned Barbatos. And this is not just a regular Tuesday for anyone. Present-day Asmodeus calls him insane for doing this. Any normal human would have died. He was on the brink of death. Barbatos shows up and is decently impressed at his survival. Because of this, he is willing to make a pact with Solomon. Though, not before laughing at Solomon and chewing him out for making such a "foolish request" (which is what I believe to be his request to bring back Lilith).

Solomon is disappointed that he cannot do anything to get her back. He enters an era that he isn't proud of in the slightest. He is sucked up into his experiments and constantly makes new pacts. He is ruining himself in the process. This is when he even manages to make himself immortal.

Barbatos is finally like, "Dude, I'll help you a little. This is depressing." So, Barbatos arranges for him to meet Asmodeus. Now, Barbatos has said many times before that their meeting is no accident. When he says this, Asmo brushes it off unknowingly, and Solomon seemingly wants to hide that fact. Barbatos orders Solomon to sit in the bar to talk with Asmo to help get the man up onto his feet. Talking to Lilith's family. Lucifer is the ONLY one who ever met Solomon. And, you know Lucifer, he kept it quiet and never told anyone. That's why Solomon is intrigued specifically by Lucifer. He knew him. The two make a pact and inevitably become close. And this is where the secrets start.

Lucifer is already hiding everything about Lilith and Solomon. He doesn't like associating with Solomon for this reason. Solomon doesn't want Asmo to know about the fabrication that was their first meeting. Because, truthfully, he now really cared for Asmo and his brothers. He didn't want to harm them any further when they were so sensitive about her fresh death. Then, he just couldn't say anything. It was far too late.

I think that this makes a lot of sense for his overall character and his relationships with others. The secrecy around his past mainly. He keeps so quiet about the people he used to love, his meeting with Barbatos, the meeting with Asmo, because it all connected back to Lilith. And he doesn't want to tell anyone about her.

Bonus: He met Thirteen around this time too. He was trying to get her to bring Lilith back. And I belive that Diavolo enlisted her help to get Lilith reincarnated. Therefore, Thirteen was just there thinking, "Damn, this girl is popular."

[everythingsf1ne23]

𝐒𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐞 (𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟓) | 

𝘔𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘦𝘭 𝘒𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢 & 𝘞𝘢𝘺𝘯𝘦 𝘔𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘯

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 🎀💕:

@yarrystyleeza If you want to be added check out my pinned post! 

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 💌:

ooh the action is really coming through in this chapter but the next chapter is gonna be even better hehe :) ~Jess

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 📝:

in which, her gang gives a visit to Michael’s house 

𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳’𝘴 𝘗𝘰𝘷:

I ended up leaving the pharmacy early on Monday after pretending that I felt sick,

I admit I feel bad leaving Molly for probably the whole week but I have to go through with the boys’ plan.

It’s now Tuesday night, I suggested having an early night so I feel less anxious tomorrow, the two of us were in bed at 9p.m.

“Are you feeling okay gorgeous?”, Wayne asks me and I nod,

“Yeah I’m fine, just what if something goes wrong with the plan?”, I turn in our bed so that I’m facing him. 

“Everything is going to be fine, 

they won’t let anyone hurt you, 

remember they promised”, I feel Wayne gently caressing my hair, which is something that he always does before 

we go to sleep.

“Yeah I’m sorry, I’m just being paranoid”

I respond and Wayne looks directly

 into my eyes,

“It’s okay to be scared, I understand that”

“Well as long as I have you,

I’m sure that I’ll be grand, you honestly make me feel so safe Wayne”

“I’m glad that I do, I’ll always protect you”, 

He wraps his arms around me and the two of us fall asleep almost instantly.

The next morning, I’m woken up by my alarm at 8a.m, Glen said that they would be here between 9:30 and 10:00 so now I have plenty of time to get myself ready and make breakfast,

After turning off my alarm, I turn over and gently poke Wayne trying to wake him up.

“Good morning handsome”, 

I notice his eyes opening.

“Morning gorgeous”, Wayne replies and I couldn’t help but smile, he truly is the perfect person for me.

“Is there anything specific that you want for breakfast?”, I ask him.

“Can I have pancakes please?”

“Yeah of course you can?”, I made the pancakes within 20 minutes and the two of us sat down at the table,

I begin eating my pancakes and I notice Wayne staring at me,

“Do I have something on my face?” I question and he chuckles

“No you don’t, I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you 

like you’re so beautiful”, I feel my heart almost explode with happiness.

“Aww well I’m ever luckier to have you”

“I’m glad that you chose me”

“I would have always chosen you”.

After breakfast, I got changed from my pyjamas into a white tank top, a black hoodie, black jeans and my leather jacket.

I hear a beep from a car outside so I knew that it was the boys,

“Bye my love, you stay safe”, Wayne tells me and he gives me a kiss.

“I will, I love you”

And with that, I walk out to Glen’s car.

I greet them, “Hey guys” 

as I get into the backseat.

“Well”, was all Clayton said and Glen asked me how I was.

“Oh I’m good”

“That’s good to hear!”, Glen replies as Clayton speaks up again

“So the plan is that now we’re gonna go get the guns from Glen’s Mam and then we’ll go to Michael’s house, Glen is gonna try see if he’s there and you’re his backup as always in case anything happens”

As we got to Glen’s house, the first thing I heard was the dog barking from inside his inclosure, we walk up just as Glen’s Mam told the dog to “shut up”, I’ve met her before and she’s the exact same as my Mam used to be, always annoyed at something and greedy for money.

“We should also go after Viking, 

he deserves a bullet in the head”, Clayton tells us and I nod in agreement while Glen’s Mam hands me a gun along with Clayton 

“They’re giving the most money for getting Michael so you go after him first!”

“He’s a cagey fucker though” Glen says and I add, “Also wouldn’t it be difficult to get Michael?, I mean he’s so careful”

She glared at us,

“It doesn’t matter, you know where he lives and where his young one lives, just fucking find him”

Glen’s Mam, Nellie pushes the gun into Glen’s chest and he gives her a dirty look as he checks the gun to see make sure it won’t seize up. 

“And where the fuck did you go after? Everyone around though that you had died”, Nellie asks me.

“I was in America, being a dj with some friends if you must know”, I respond with attitude as I didn’t particularly like how she was treating Glen, she said nothing back so the three of us went back to the car.

Clayton starts up the engine and the car is silent for a while until I speak up,

“God your Mam is the exact same as when I left, actually maybe even worse now”,

I tell Glen 

“Tell me about it, I don’t even trust these Turks but all she cares about is the money we might get”

“We might get? Jesus Glen, I sure hope that we get that money anyways”, Clayton complains 

“Stop whining! Clayton I wouldn’t trust them either to be honest, I don’t know why Wayne agreed to being partners with Hamza”

Soon enough, we arrive up near Michael’s house,

“This is Michael’s gaff up here”, Glen says and I pull up my balaclava along with pulling my hood.

We check our guns to make sure that they won’t seize up once again.

“Don’t even wait until he opens the door, shoot through the glass”, Clayton warns as Glen pulls up his balaclava and hood.

“I know”, was all Glen replied and we got out of the car, I walk up quickly behind him.

Glen knocks loudly on the door and he puts his gun up, I admit I feel nervous but I couldn’t back away now. 

I hear Glen breathing heavily as he knocks once more, after a few moments, it doesn’t seem like Michael is there.

“Come on before someone sees us!”, Glen exclaims and I run after him.

I hop back into the backseat and Glen gets into the passenger’s seat.

“What’s the story?” Clayton inquires.

“He’s not in there, let’s go”,

And with that, Clayton drives us away.

[dolliebabydoll15]

You Belong With Me: A Roudise Fanfic

decided to write a roudise fanfic with T.S references from her song, "you belong with me" bc it fits them sooo well. <3 where all my swifties and bob's burgers fans at? 🫶🍔

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Louise was groaning with impatience.

It was the last 10 minutes of class, and Rudy still hadn't come. Where had he been? Did he have an asthma attack? Did he get lost? No, no, that's not right. He always knew his way around. The whole class did not twitch, not even Ms. Labonz. Just then, there was a knock at the door. Ms. Labonz opened it, and in came Rudy, not looking very happy.

"Rudy, where have you been? You're late." asked Ms. Labonz.

But he was far to upset to respond. He plopped his things down on the neighboring desk to the left of Louise.

"...stupid Chloe Barbash..." "...who does she think she is?..." "...can't even *wheeze* take a joke." he muttered aggravatingly.

Louise was shocked. She didn't usually see her pal outside of his happy-go-lucky self (well, unlike that one time he asked her to leave after she called him a weenie). She quickly grabbed an index card that was supposed to be for Ms. Labonz's assignment, and quickly wrote down a brief sentence, and passed it to Rudy. Even though Louise knew she couldn't pass notes, now didn't seem like the time for rules.

"you okay rudy-rudes?" the note read.

Rudy immediately wrote back and passed it.

"tired of drama."

the conversation on paper went on for a few more minutes.

"sorry :( what happened?"

"chloe wanted me to ditch class with her so we could hang out together. we were having so much fun, and i made a joke asking her if anyone ever told her if she looked like a female rupert grint from that one wizard movie. she got all mad and decided to go off about what i said. i didn't like it at all. but hey, she'll cool down eventually. i guess i was probably overreacting.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE HER! YOU'RE RIGHT, WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?"

"eh, i'll be okay, louise. if i'm being honest, chloe will definitely go back to being the nice girl she is."

Nice? Please. Chloe Barbash was far from nice. Louise had no idea why Rudy still liked her. Chloe didn't get Rudy's humor the way she did. Plus, she never even bothered to give Rudy his first kiss. Like, come on, where was the credit? For some reason, Louise didn't know how it happened, but something gave her the nerve to write, "i love you." on another index card. She was about to pass it when the bell rang. Louise turned sideways to pass the note, but Rudy was gone. Suddenly, a wave of disgust ran over her.

"SICK! Oh man, Louise Belcher, you are SICK! WHY were you about to do that?!" she thought.

~~~~

Later that typical Tuesday night, Louise began to listen to the kind of music Chloe didn't like to let out her anger over her with the cassette she had stolen from Tina's room.

🎶"I-I will keep your secrets, I'm so interested in youu..." 🎶

Ugh. Boo Boo. The one person who could comfort her during these drastic times. Although Chloe Barbash was a big fan of Boyz4Now as well, this was the one song she hated the most. Louise was still stunned after hearing what she said to Rudy.

"Why can't he just get over her? Why can't he just...no, no, NO WAY! Too cliche for me."

Louise scoffed to herself as she thought of that. But really, there's no way she could like-like him. Chloe wore short skirts, and Louise wore T-shirts. Chloe was cheer captain, and Louise was on the bleachers. What had she got to offer him anyway? She wasn't really that special. Ugh, no, it was fine. Louise had better things to focus on anyway. Still, at the same time, she was dreaming about the day Rudy would wake up and find that what he was looking for had been here the whole time.

"If only he could see that I'm the one who understands him, and that I've been here all along too! So why can't he see that he belongs with me?"

~8 Years Later~

"...calculus? More like 'crap-ulus'." Rudy joked.

Louise threw her head back in laughter, knowing she hadn't laughed like that in a long time. High school had been hard lately, and she couldn't veer away from the stress. As she walked in the streets with Rudy and his worn-out-jeans, she couldn't help thinking this was how it ought to be. They sat down on a park bench, with Louise thinking to herself,

"Hey, isn't this easy? We're just two friends on a pleasant day, nothing more..."

As Louise looked at her best friend as they talked, she couldn't help but notice that he has a smile that could light up the whole town, even brighter than the Wonder Wharf could. She hadn't seen it since Chloe Barbash brought him down.

"...Chloe's been great too, even though she still gets mad at me if I don't call her back in 10 minutes instead of 15. You know, I sometimes wish she wasn't so mad all the time, but that's just Chloe. Gotta like her for who she is."

"You sure you're okay with this Rudes? I don't really think she's a good girlfriend, or a good person in general."

"I'm fine, Louise. You don't have to worry about me." Rudy replied, smiling. But it didn't really comfort Louise as much. She knew he was better than that. Hey, what's he doing with a girl like that anyway? All of a sudden, a pink convertible pulled up. Louise immediately recognized it as Chloe's.

"Rudyyy, get in Cutie-Bear! We're gonna be late for the party!" Chloe called in a fake sweet manner.

"Coming, babe!" Rudy shouted back. He turned to Louise and waved goodbye. As he got in the car, he and Chloe hugged affectionately, but as they did, Chloe looked over at Louise with a smug stare. Louise just blankly stared back, because at this point, she could do nothing about Rudy's obliviousness to how cold Chloe was. After all, Louise couldn't compete with her. Chloe wore high heels, and Louise wore sneakers. Chloe's status as the cheer captain was still going strong, and Louise still remained on the bleachers. She still dreamt about the day when Rudy wakes up and finds that what he's looking for had been here the whole time.

~~~~~

Louise was watching the near end of Rudy's football game. She snickered, watching him stumble one too many times. She remembered begging him not to join, because that sport required a lot of air, which didn't accommodate to his health. Rudy didn't care, as long as Chloe could cheer him on. Redirecting her thoughts to the football game, Rudy was surrounded by the enemy team. He tried to escape, but he ended up slipping and tossing the ball into the air. But that slip up resulted in his teammate catching it and making the final touchdown. The whole school cheered, especially the cheerleaders with their passionate spirit for the school. Rudy and his football team cheered, running toward the outlines of the field. As Rudy went to celebrate with his girlfriend, he spotted her flirting with another guy.

"Chloe...what are you doing? Why are you talking to him?"

Chloe glanced back at him in annoyance. "I can talk to whoever I want, Rudy. Stop being so dramatic."

"I'm not being dramatic if you're...I don't know, ALREADY DATING SOMEONE?" Rudy retorted.

Louise heard the whole conversation from above on the bleachers. She shook her head, seeing now that Chloe's showing her true colors. She couldn't imagine how it would go during junior prom, yet to come in 1 day.

~~~~

The next day, during the final class of the day, everyone was buzzing with excitement. Tonight was the night that all juniors had awaited. It was the night of the junior prom. Louise simply didn't see a care in that event, because, well, she just doesn't feel the need in dressing up. Without notice, Louise spotted Rudy pass a note from the corner of her eye.

"you going tonight?"

"no, studying."

"i wish you were though! parties aren't fun without you."

Louise smiled at him. Even though she wasn't going, at least Rudy would have fun.

~Later That Night~

Louise laid in her bed, thinking about how idiotic of her it was to not go. She really wasn't studying, it was just an excuse for her not to look at Rudy while he's with Chloe Barbash. It pained her far too much. She remembered that time he walked to her house in the middle of the night when he was unhappy about his parents' dinner. Louise was the one who made him laugh when he knew he was about to cry. She knew his favorite songs, and Rudy told her about his dreams. How long will it take him to know who he belongs with? She sighed, and picked up Kuchi Kopi. But just then, she noticed the index card beneath him. She picked it up, and saw the words from 8 years ago written on it.

"i love you."

Maybe it wasn't too late for him to know. Maybe this could be her chance. Louise opened her dresser and dug for a fancy piece of clothing to wear. After minutes of searching, she found a long sparkly lime-green dress that her sister, Tina, gave her for her 17th birthday. She hadn't intended on wearing it, but she wanted to make Tina happy, so instead, Louise shoved it in the far back of her drawer.

"Oh, Tina, you beautiful beast." she satisfyingly whispered underneath her breath.

~~~~

Rudy was waiting for Chloe to come back from hanging out with her friends, when he turned around and saw the most gorgeous girl in the whole world. Louise strode through the crowd in her best dress. Her dark, curled hair fell down to her hips, and donned a pink headband. Rudy stared at her in wonder. How could a girl look so beautiful in one moment? He was still in his euphoria, coming toward her, when Chloe returned, grabbing his arm.

"Hey, Rudy-Bear, don't you wanna come dance with me? I don't want you looking at her."

"Chloe, don't you call me that. You are one of the most heartless people I have ever been with. I can't do this anymore." He pushed her aside, and kept walking toward Louise.

"WHAT? Rudy, come back! PLEASE!"

It's go time, Louise. She pulled out the notecard, finally confessing her love from so many years.

"i love you."

Rudy stood there, blushing in his navy-blue tuxedo. He grabbed a notecard from his pocket, and it also said, "i love you." Louise was wonderstruck, not believing he felt the same way.

"Really? Y-you too?" she asked in surprise.

"Yeah. I've had feelings since 4th grade and...since forever." he chuckled.

"Even after all those things I did to you 8 years ago?"

"Of course. I know you still care."

Louise put her arms around his neck. Rudy was amazed.

"Is it happening? Is this really happening?"

"Yep...it took you long enough anyway."

Rudy rolled his eyes and laughed. Then, they both leaned in for a perfect kiss, just as overwhelming and delightful as their first. This time, they both were well aware of each other's love, no one else in the way. He finally belonged with her, and she belonged with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OKAY...this has got to be one of the most romantic fics i've ever written. AND IT'S ONLY MY 3RD 😭 i'm a roudise geek, and "you belong with me" basically screamed louise and rudy. i suggest you look at taylor swift's songs every once in a while, i think they make up for a good listen! <3 btw, if anyone wants to create some art out of this fic, please do! tag me, bc i'd love to see it 💕

[darsynia]

This afternoon is a TRIP. Just hit a follower milestone 💚 ty for following!! 💚 right after getting back home from DRIVING AROUND FOR THE SECOND DAY IN A ROW LOOKING FOR MY CHILDREN.

Rant about the school and my kids lying to me under the cut.

At the beginning of the school year Youngest's teacher and I held multiple conversations about dismissal, and during none of them was I told a family member had to make eye contact with the teacher (2nd grade) to dismiss Youngest. This only became an issue a few months ago when Middle Kiddo was sick and didn't walk home with Youngest, Oldest forgot to pick her up after being reminded, and so Youngest just... played on the school grounds instead of coming home for funsies.

Then I was threatened by the school about following the handbook (there's nothing in the handbook about dismissal), told I would need to have a WRITTEN PERMISSION SLIP for my older daughters to walk Youngest home (also not actual policy they made it up because they were mad), and finally everything was worked out because the Vice Principal was embarrassed that I knew what I was talking about and called her out on the gaslighting. So we agreed that one of the two sisters had to pick up Youngest every day. They worked out a schedule.

Yesterday, I found out that Middle Kiddo has been running away and leaving Youngest to walk home alone for weeks now, and just slowing down when she gets close to home so they walk in the door at the same time. This after some random old guy (we live near a thriving main street) gave Youngest twenty dollars and wouldn't take it back. So you know, already some danger there.

So I said we'd have to have me come in the car every M W F because Tuesdays and Thursdays the Oldest walks Youngest home. Except Oldest was sick today, so we agreed that Middle Kiddo would do it. Oldest felt better, walked up to say bye to friends, and when she got there, she said Middle Kiddo was looking for Youngest. The teacher said 'oh, Youngest told me her mom was picking her up so I let her leave.'

Guys.

The school THREATENED ME and said I had to have WRITTEN PERMISSION for even the OTHER SIBLINGS to pick this kid up. But the teacher just let her go? (I should add, on the first day of her kindergarten, all 3 kids were set to wait for us to walk home with them, and the teacher just let Youngest leave with her siblings against policy because they looked happy to see each other. The three of them proceeded to get lost and it took us 90 minutes to find them. Which, HILARIOUSLY. HI LAR I OUS LY is why there's stricter policies on letting kids leave with siblings now. It's because of that. Which they just did. Again. To the same kid.

I CANNOT.

Anyway, Youngest just walked her ass home without looking for me or her sisters. And my husband just said 'I don't think you should try to get her teacher in trouble again.'

I never tried to get the teacher in trouble! The VP asked me how I was under the impression that second graders could leave of their own free will and I said that, you know, I'd stood there for 2 school years picking her up at Kindergarten and First Grade and NEVER SAW SECOND GRADERS EVER WAITING. Also I read the fucking handbook. Which doesn't even have K-1 supposed to be escorted but whatever. Apparently the VP went to talk to the teacher and the teacher was like 'whoops yeah I was supposed to tell her' but ME NOT KNOWING THAT IS NOT GETTING HER IN TROUBLE.

I'm just.

I have parking anxiety. It's my biggest stupid fear. I hate it. I used to leave for the school an HOUR EARLY so I didn't have to struggle to find parking. I REJOICED when she hit 2nd grade so I didn't have to park and walk up and pick her up in person. I was CLEAR about that to her teacher (I actually just... incidentally mentioned it to her teacher. Who didn't tell me 'actually I need you to come this year too' even though we had multiple convos where she could bring it up). So for this to STILL BE A THING in MARCH.

I am going to have to go every day and park and pick her up. Cause I can't trust the school, I can't trust the kids, and I just... don't want Mr. 'here kid here's $20' guy to turn out to be malicious.

BONUS STORY:

When Oldest was in kindergarten, we had bussing because actually the street that kiddos have to cross is huge and dangerous. So dangerous that they required us to bus even though we're close. Now that they don't have funding for busses after covid, they just have them walk across it anyway with no crossing guard but WHATEVER. The bus picked our kids up last and dropped them off first.

But! It had a little dogleg kind of route it took and sometimes the bus driver was lazy. This meant that instead of dropping my kid off at the first bus stop, she just got to sit there in terror and watch as the bus drove farther and farther away from her house, OR tell the bus driver he forgot OR just get off and make her way home instead of being in trouble for still being on the bus when it skipped her stop.

Oldest usually chose option #3. So there I am, I've got a 2 year old and I'm 9 months pregnant, and it's pouring down rain, and there's no Oldest at the bus stop. She's 5. I call the school. They call the bus driver. Bus driver is confused, says he'll just swing by when he's done with Oldest.

We wait 25 minutes in the rain.

Bus driver drives up. Shrugs. No kids left.

We start driving around looking, and finally decide well heck maybe she figured out how to get home--and yep SHE DID.

So yeah this school and dismissal... it ain't great. They did that to her about 5 more times that year. She thought it was fun.

[plant-dad-sulu]

Back in April on a Tuesday morning I got a call from my dad

He asked me if I’d gotten an email from my aunt and when I said no he told me that my uncle was sick. He had gone into the hospital feeling unwell and on Monday they had diagnosed him with cancer and hospitalized him. It was liver cancer they said, he couldn’t tell me what stage just that it was terminal, had already spread by the time they found it. He had tumours in his kidneys and lungs.

I had to work that day so I thanked my dad for telling me and got on with my day. I told one person that my uncle was sick, no one else knew.

On Wednesday I drove to Hamilton for work, or maybe Catham I can’t remember which came first. We spent a week there setting up our show, rehearsing, performing, striking, something we’d been doing every week for 6 months, it was easy by then. I worked and tried not to think about it. I’d already lost family and friends to cancer, I knew what to expect. I told one more person. She told me about her grandparents who had died of brain cancer. I didn’t feel like I had any room to feel sorry for myself so I didn’t bring it up again.

On Monday night I got into my hotel room past midnight, it was Tuesday morning now, we’d just struck the show and I was sore and exhausted and ready to sleep. My coworker I was sharing a room with was already sleeping in the next bed over. I got changed and collapsed into bed and I checked my email before going to sleep. I had an email from my aunt saying my uncle had died.

It took one week.

Seven days from him getting diagnosed to him dying. I’d never known anyone who’d died that suddenly before, everyone else I’d known who had had cancer had had a slow decline, months or even years, sometimes with a remission or two just to give you hope first. I didn’t have time for hope with my uncle. I hadn’t even been home.

We drove back to Toronto the next day, unloaded the trucks, returned them, took the bus home. I didn’t tell anyone he was dead, I didn’t know how. When I got home that night I told my friends I had gotten bad news and needed to talk to someone. One person was free. I told him what had happened and I didn’t know what else to say about it. I just needed someone to know.

He asked if I was close with this uncle. I said no. He asked if I was sad. I said didn’t know. We hung up pretty quickly.

The next email was to tell us there wouldn’t be a funeral or memorial. We couldn’t because of covid. She told us they would hold a “Celebration of Life” once it was safe. We still haven’t done it. We’re doing Christmas this year though, it’s safe enough for that. I’m not going.

After he died, weeks or months, I started to learn about what happened after he’d died. My dad had been helping my aunt, his sister, clean up all my uncle’s stuff, and they found out he’d been hiding a spending problem. His office was full of stuff he’d bought for hobbies he’d lost interest in. Unopened boxes and unplayed guitars - lots and lots of guitars. They found extra credit cards too, ones my aunt didn’t know about. They found so much debt.

My uncle, when he was alive, was one of the only good people in my family. That side of my family isn’t happy. They’re all angry or depressed or tightly wound, they were all on edge around each other, none of them were ever happy when I saw them, not for long, but he was. I loved him for that, I thought he was one of the only people worth the miserable Christmases.

And then I learned that he wasn’t really that. He was someone who hid his spending from his wife and left her in deep debt with closets worth of junk to show for it. He didn’t consider her when he kept getting cards to hide the problem or tell her when things got bad. And I know that’s not his fault, I know it, but it also was.

And suddenly he wasn’t the person I remembered anymore. I remember his smile so clearly and his polo shirts and his little rectangular glasses and the way his whole body shook when he laughed. But now I also had this other understanding of him. And this resentment for how he left things. And resentment too that I never got the chance to say goodbye to the wonderful, lovely, happy man I saw every year at Christmas and Canada Day, who made it worth enduring the other relatives and the crappy turkey stuffing and the decorative nutcrackers that watched you in the bathroom. I didn’t say goodbye before he became a man I didn’t like.

And it’s not his fault. He was always that way and I just didn’t know, nobody did. But I hate him for it. And I miss my uncle. And I’ll think of him anytime I see that guitar in my dad’s office, the one my aunt gave to him because she was in too much pain to sell it. And I’ll think of him at Christmas when I’m not there because as long as I’m not there he is.

Just like I’ll always think of my other aunt whenever I see her daughter. Or my friend Ryan when it’s our birthday. Or Dana when I go to Niagara-on-the-Lake or wear sweatpants on the bus. Remembering them all, too, at the strangest times. Thinking sometimes, by mistake or even when I know it’s not true, that they’re alive.

And it’s almost Christmas and I won’t see that side of the family this year because I’m seeing my mother’s family instead on the west coast. And I don’t know if I’ll ever see that side of the family again at Christmas, those unhappy people. I don’t know if I could stomach seeing that he really isn’t there. If I’m not then maybe he is.

It took one week.

[patronsaintofteachercrushes]

12/6-12/9

very little has happened honestly which is why i haven’t been updating so much.

i talked a few times with G but not about really anything special, just things in passing. today he made me guess valerie by amy winehouse, too easy i said and he laughed.

i finally talked to M ! i’m not gonna be at school monday and tuesday so i’m gonna miss my math test so during lunch i went to his room to ask if i could take it with him. he said he’d email G right away and that was kind of the end of the conversation, but because i’m so damn stubborn (and a little delusional), i told him about how good i did on my history test. even though it was like 2 weeks ago now. he said, “oh my gosh, ximena ! that’s amazing !!” and gave me a fist bump. i really wanted to kiss him then not even going to lie. i like the way he says my name too.

i think my feelings for L are slowly started to resurface. when i see him, he still makes me feel a little sick, but when i think of him i smile. am i just jealous ? was i jealous of my friend ? on thursday, my friend made me wait outside L’s class with her because she needed to talk to him but he needed a minute or something idk, and when he walked out of his classroom to tell my friend to come in, he saw me first. and he was visibly taken aback. and a big huge pang of guilt and hurt and love and shame hit me like my chest had been slashed open. i said ‘ok’ to my friend quietly and walked away. i nearly ran away. do you guys think he knows ? you can be totally honest. or do you guys think he just didn’t expect to see me instead of my friend ? i really hope its the latter but i’m so scared that he’s figured me out by now. and when i walked away and took a deep breath, i felt happy that he had noticed me. seen me and really looked at me again. and without glaring. either i never really stopped liking him, or he will always just have a very small piece of me with him, and in me a big piece of him. i might always feel this tenderness towards him, like the kind of tender you feel when you press on a bruise. hurts so good.

sorry if this is like dramatic and cringe lol i just feel very poetic and sappy whenever i talk about my tc’s.

[missywritesfor7]

🌺 Promise Flower | PJM 🌺

Synopsis: Jimin is a popular dance student and the best one at his university. Mina is a photography student and has known Jimin since high school. An idea for a photo project finds Mina getting closer to him than she ever has before. She learns how big his heart is, but also learns how closely he guards it. Every time she thinks he'll let her in, he pulls away again. Is it even worth the trouble?

Pairing: college student!Jimin x fem!oc

Warnings: depression, anxiety, panic attacks, alcoholism

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|| Ch. 12: Bloom ||

“Have you talked to Jimin today?” Tae asks editing photos at my dining table as he typically does.

“No,” I say stealing a few of his chips from across the table. Jimin and I haven’t spoken since I left his place on Friday. I wish I could say that I’m unbothered and I haven’t thought anything about him since, but that would be a huge lie. I haven’t stopped thinking about him all weekend. I haven’t stopped crying about him all weekend, and I feel foolish.

“Still?” Tae asks. “I heard he didn’t go to class today. I thought maybe you had talked to him by now and would know why.”

“He didn’t go to class?” I shouldn’t care so much, right? I shouldn’t be worried that something happened to him. He couldn’t be bothered to apologize to me all weekend, so why should I care whether he went to class or not?

“That’s what Taylor said. They have a class with Hoseok and he mentioned Jimin not going to class today. Maybe you should reach out?”

“Without him apologizing to me first? I don’t think so.”

“You want to know why though, don’t you? He’d probably tell you.”

“No he won’t. He doesn’t seem to want to tell me anything, but he’s ok with kissing me and flirting with me. Ask Taylor to get more info from Hoseok if you want to know.” He’s not wrong, I do want to know why. But I’m not going to reach out to him first, that would only make it seem like I’m ok with how he’s been leading me on and not apologizing for it, and I’m not.

“Don’t you need more pictures? You can’t avoid him the rest of the semester.”

“Yes I can,” I say stubbornly. “I have enough pictures, I’ll be fine.”

“If you say so,” he chuckles. “So are you just going to pretend like you don’t have feelings for him?”

“What else am I going to do?”

“Talk to him, crazy.”

“Not until he decides to apologize. He needs to know that he can’t just toy with me like that.” I take a deep breath and let out a deep sigh. “Why won’t he apologize?” My lip begins quivering and I try my damndest to keep from crying for the thousandth time since Friday.

“You’re asking the wrong person.”

He’s right. I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten sick of me going on about Jimin all weekend, or maybe he is but he’s too nice to say so.

Tuesday the word on campus is that Jimin still hasn’t shown up for class. Everyone assumes he’s sick, and I’m sure that’s what he may have told them, but I’m thinking he’s not sick at all. If everyone else knew what went on between us then they would know he’s not sick. I’m not sure why he’s skipping class like this, but I assume he’s trying to avoid me. Why go to such lengths though?

I wish I didn’t feel the way I feel about him. I wish I didn’t care as much as I do. I wish I wasn’t sitting at home staring at my phone debating whether I should text him just to make sure he’s ok. However, to my surprise a message from Jimin pops up as I’m staring at the screen.

[Jimin]: I know you’re still mad at me and I’m really sorry. Can you come over tonight? I want to talk to you.

Part of me wants to say no out of childish stubbornness. It took him this long to say something, why should I hear him out now?

[Me]: Yeah I can come by.

But it wouldn’t be fair to not hear him out. I’ll give him three minutes to give me a good apology and then I’m out of there.

It would be kind of nice to see him too…

When I pull into the parking lot I have to take a moment for a few deep breaths. My heart is pounding and I’m nervous but I have no idea why. He should be the nervous one, he needs to apologize to me.

I go up to his door with a shaking hand and knock, desperately trying to calm myself down. Seriously, what is my problem?

“Hey,” Jimin says answering the door and inviting me in.

“Hey,” I respond dryly stepping in and instantly getting taken aback once I smell whatever is going on inside his kitchen. Did he cook?

He certainly doesn’t look sick at all. He looks like he hasn’t slept much, but not sick. I can tell he’s nervous, his hands tremble a bit when he gestures for me to have a seat at the table. He hasn’t said a word since I stepped inside and the silence is suffocating.

I watch as he prepares a couple of bowls of what I now realize is ramen. Not just ramen, but he’s also included some cuts of pork and other veggies to the soup. Is this some sort of bribe or something? I’ve mentioned to him before that I really enjoy his ramen. A lot. Does he think if he makes me delicious food that I’ll magically no longer be mad at him?

I’ll be honest, it almost worked when he set the bowl down in front of me and I nearly dove in head first.

“I’m not really good at this,” Jimin says sitting across from me and nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “I know I messed up and I upset you a lot and I’m really sorry. I was afraid of making a mistake but I did anyway. I should have been more open with you.”

I remain silent as he struggles to get his words out. His bottom lip is poked out and his hands are fidgeting as he tries his best to say whatever it is he’s trying to say to me. His nervousness shows me that he’s truly trying and I can appreciate that.

“My grandma would always apologize to me by making my favorite foods. She always made them with her heart and soul and that’s how I knew she really meant what she was saying.” His gaze darts, and for a brief moment I swear it looks like a tear is about to fall from his eye.

“My grandma meant the world to me,” he continues. “I’ve never been close to anyone like I was with her. I loved her with every fiber of my being.” He sighs searching his bowl for words, or strength, or something. “Mina, when I told you I was afraid, it’s because I know what it feels like to lose someone that holds my entire heart. I never want to feel that pain again, so I told myself not to let myself get too close to anyone because it would just hurt me in the end. The one time I tried I was humiliated because Nikki wasn’t the person I thought she was.”

He’s been fighting a heavy battle as he speaks. Fighting the tears that are clouding his vision, biting his lip so I can’t tell how much it’s quivering, hiding his hands under the table so I can’t tell how much he’s fidgeting.

“What I’m trying to say,” he sighs. “The closer I get to you the more scared I am. I care a lot about you,” he pauses looking up at me losing the battle against his tears. “Losing you would mean I feel that hurt again, but it’s too late to cut my heart off from you because I’ve already let you in. I really realized you had feelings for me when you got mad at me, and although I tried, it’s too late for me to pull back. I’m sorry that I upset you. I’m sorry that I can’t give you more to show how much I want to fix things, but this is the best I can do. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Jimin…” my voice cracks and I feel like I’m about to join him in losing the battle against tears. “Of course I forgive you. All I ever wanted was to support you. I just want to help you with whatever you’re going through. I can’t read your mind, and that’s frustrating. I had no idea about your grandma and all of the hurt that you’ve been holding on to.”

“I thought you would think I come with too much emotional baggage.”

“Dealing with the heartbreak of a loss isn’t ‘emotional baggage’, you’re not the only one that’s lost a loved one. Even if I may not have experienced that level of loss, I can understand it, and I can be here for you to be a shoulder to lean on. That’s all I want. I care about you too and I don’t want to see you suffer alone.”

He buries his face in his hands and begins sobbing. I’m just as emotional as tears roll down my face while I watch him breaking apart right in front of me.

“I’m sorry for being so stupid,” he says between sobs.

“Jiminie,” I get up from my seat and walk around the table to hold him in my arms. “It’s ok.” He looks awful and completely torn up right now. All I can do is hold him until he gets all of his tears out. Just looking at him is heartbreaking.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeats.

I let him cry everything out, he apologizes a few more times, and when I feel he’s all cried out I return to my seat at the other side of the table.

We finally begin eating and he tells me more about the relationship between him and his grandma. I had no idea that she passed away right before we started high school. My heart hurts for him as he recounts finding her in her car unresponsive. He gets choked up some more when he explains the last promises they made to each other. I keep shoving noodles in my mouth as he speaks in an attempt to keep myself from crying again. How has he been carrying this amount of hurt for so long? Not only that, but he’s been dealing with it all alone.

Before I know it we’re done with our food and two episodes into a new drama enjoying snacks on the couch. The air between us still feels a bit foreign but I think we’re on a good path.

I still have many questions like where do we go from here? Do we remain friends or do we try to take things a step further? Should I encourage him to go to counseling? I feel like his grief is something he hasn’t fully worked through so maybe that could help. I want to be here for him, but I’m not a licensed professional, which is what I think he needs. Perhaps I should let him work through that before I start asking about where we should take our relationship. I feel like right now he just needs someone to lean on for support.

We get midway through the third episode when I get a call from Taehyung. It’s a bit late and I’ll see him in class tomorrow so I have no idea why he’s calling me right now. I apologize to Jimin and pause the show to answer the call.

“Mina where are you?” Tae asks as soon as I pick up. “I need to stay the night at your place.”

“What? Why? Did something happen?” I ask concerned.

“Not really, but Taylor’s roommate has some…company over and we need a place so stay.”

“What’s wrong with your place??”

“You know I hate it there! That’s why I’m always at your place! Please, Mina! I can’t take Taylor back to my place for the night with my shitty roommate being a shitty person!”

“Well I agree that you have a shitty roommate…” that’s an understatement. His roommate is messy beyond measure, rude, intrusive, and highly intolerant of anyone that may have differing views on anything. I can fully understand why Tae wouldn’t want to take Taylor back to his place.

“Please, Mina just one night.” I can hear his pout through the phone. “Taylor will sleep on the couch and I’ll set up camp on the floor. I’ll pay you back any way I can!”

“Dammit Tae…I’m not even at home.”

“I know, we’re sitting outside and you didn’t answer the door. Where are you anyway?”

“I’m at Jimin’s place,” I sigh.

“What?!” He gasps. “Did you two make up? Oh my god you have to come home now and tell me everything!”

“Seriously?”

“I’ll see you when you get here! Thank you! Love you, Mina!” He ends the call before I get a chance to protest further.

I turn to Jimin who’s looking at me with a raised eyebrow. I sigh hating to have to cut things short in the middle of the episode.

“Taehyung?” He asks pursing his lips.

“Yeah. I’m sorry, he-“

“It’s ok,” he says cutting me off and shaking his head. “When Tae calls you have to go.”

“I-“

“We can watch it another time.” He closes out of the show and turns the tv off.

“I’m sorry.” I grab my purse and try not to let his passive aggressive tone bother me. “I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah,” he nods stiffly. “Talk to you later.”

I leave and get in my car cursing Taehyung for pulling me away from Jimin like this. Regardless of what I told Jimin before, it’s clear that he doesn’t fully believe that Tae and I are and have only ever been just friends.

Could he be jealous about how close we are, or does he really feel like Tae and I have feelings for each other? He’s going through a lot mentally and emotionally, maybe it’s nothing. I’m sure he’s just a little down that I left before he expected me to and I don’t blame him, I’m a little down too.

When I pull up Tae and Taylor are sitting in front of my door like a couple of kids hanging out watching videos on Tae’s phone.

“Took you long enough,” Tae says bouncing to his feet.

“Shut up.” I look at Taylor rising to their feet with a big cheesy smile on their face. “Hi Taylor. I hope you don’t like Taehyung that much, because I actually might strangle him.”

“Love you, Mina!” Tae says with his boxy smile.

“You owe me.” I open the door and let them inside.

Taylor isn’t quite as wild as Tae can be. They have shoulder length dirty blond hair and long legs to match Tae’s height. They’re a bit soft spoken and we’ve only spoken a few times before here and there, but they’re always nice. Taylor is one of those art students who seems to pick up any art form and excel. They’re a dance major with a minor in visual art, that alone is more than enough for Tae to become completely enamored.

“What am I going to tell Jin when he gets home?” I ask as I pull a few blankets out of the closet and toss them towards the two of them on the couch.

“He said it was ok,” Tae smiles. “We saw him on campus and asked him first. He thought you were home so he told us to go ahead. You weren’t home though,” he says with a look of suspicion.

“So anyway,” I say sitting in the opposite end of the couch. “Explain to me why you need to stay the night here.”

“Well,” Taylor starts. “Someone got into a bit of an argument with his roommate…”

“I just asked him to clean up,” Tae says.

“You threw a sponge at him.”

“Sponges don’t hurt!”

“Anyway! My roommate has company and he’s always so ridiculously loud and inconsiderate so I wanted to stay with Tae Tae, but he’s got his own roommate problems.”

“Enough about that,” Tae says leaning close to my face. “So you were at Jimin’s? Did you two make up?”

“I didn’t know you and Jimin were together,” Taylor says with an eyebrow raised from behind Tae’s big invasive head.

“We’re not,” I say pushing Tae’s head to the side.

“That’s not how Tae Tae makes it seem.”

“You’re going to have to learn to stop listening to him.”

“Hey!” Tae says pouting. “You wouldn’t stop talking about him, I just shared facts.”

“I didn’t talk about him that much.” I roll my eyes knowing that he’s not wrong, I just don’t want to admit it.

“So what happened?”

“Nothing,” I sigh. “He apologized with food and we watched a few episodes of our show until someone interrupted me and called me home.”

“He apologized with food? What did he get you? Fancy steak? Or delicious pasta?” Tae seems way too interested and eager about this when nothing even happened.

“He didn’t get me anything, he cooked some ramen.”

“Ramen? You mean…the ramen you said he was so good at making?” He closes in on my face again. “The ramen you wouldn’t shut up about for an entire week?!”

“Yeah, I mean it’s just ramen, it’s not a big deal.”

“Mina! He cooked. You. Ramen. Your. FAVORITE RAMEN. That is a big deal! It’s so-“

“Romantic,” Taylor whispers completing Tae’s sentence.

“Jesus Christ, you two really are made for each other,” I say chuckling. In all honesty I think the two of them are cute together. I can tell Taylor shares the same love for any and all types of romantic gestures as Tae.

“I know, we even have our ship name already,” Tae says beaming from cheek to cheek with Taylor mirroring the same expression.

“Ship name?”

“We’re TayTae!” He says with pride. “T-A-Y-T-A-E!”

“Oh my god, you two are awful,” I tease with a smile. “I’m going to bed. Please don’t do…whatever it is that you do…on my couch.”

I leave the two of them in the living room and go into my room to finally lay down. I can’t sleep just yet though. My mind keeps telling me to text Jimin. I don’t know why, and I’m not sure what to even say when I just saw him. I’ll probably see him tomorrow, I need to get some rest so I don’t miss my class in the morning.

My eyelids get heavy and I start to drift off, but not before giving in and sending Jimin a text apologizing again for having to leave so suddenly. I tell him we can finish watching our show tomorrow if he’s free. I also thank him again for the food and remind him that I’m always here for him if he needs anything.

Then I finally fall asleep.

[wenevergotusedtoegypt]

I am livid.

For those who may not remember, my father’s precautions against covid are basically non-existent. He only reluctantly got the J&J vaccine (and never followed up after that first shot) because we weren’t going to let him visit us if he didn’t get vaccinated and he’d already been begging for months to visit before getting vaccinated was even an option. He only wears a mask when absolutely forced to and will take it off at every opportunity for as long as he can possibly get away with. He never really took any precautions regarding indoor gatherings and the like. (My mother is double-vaxxed and boosted and masks.) 

By some literal genuine miracle above and beyond the rules of nature, he’d never gotten covid. Even though my double-vaxxed husband (boosters weren’t available at the time) and my double-vaxxed and boosted MIL and my double-vaxxed and I think maybe even double-boosted at that point FIL, who all wear masks, each got breakthrough infections at different points.

You probably see where this is headed.

My parents got into town Tuesday afternoon. Monday morning they came over as I was about to leave for work because they were going to take my son to daycare. My father said, “I’m not going to hug you because I woke up with a cold this morning.” When I told him he needed to stay away from my son as well in that case, he asked, “How am I supposed to do that?” as if he genuinely thought that it was just totally impossible for him to stay away from his grandson, but if my toddler gets sick I would be able to do so as the mother?? Literally why even bother not hugging me if you think you can’t take any measures to avoid infecting the child who will be all up in my face all day if he gets sick. WTH. Anyway, my mom said she would keep an eye on their interactions and try to keep my dad from getting too up close and personal.

This morning my mom and my sister (who came last night after work and is staying with my parents during their visit) come over to take my son to daycare but say my dad is in bed resting at the Airbnb because he’s not feeling well. I give my mom a rapid test to take back to him.

Positive. Shocker.

So now he’s sick in bed, my sister headed right back out the door to her place to avoid any further exposure so we won’t get to spend time with her, and my mom, husband, son, and I get to sit around and wait to see if he got us sick. 🙃 My mom is making him stay in a separate bedroom and use a separate bathroom (thankfully the Airbnb is 2 beds 2 baths), but if he became symptomatic yesterday, she’s already been thoroughly exposed before now. I am 33w4d pregnant and already 6 months out from my booster. If I get covid the best case scenario is that it’s a mild case with no lingering impact on me, my baby, or the placenta, which would still likely result in my gestational diabetic self having absolutely out of control blood sugar numbers for several days based on the evidence I’ve seen in my GD Facebook group. My son is only a few days out from his first dose of the vaccine and only several weeks out from the full resolution of the impacts of his last case of covid, 8.5 months ago. My husband is in the middle of an extremely intense class that he already failed once last year and will get kicked out of his program if he doesn’t pass it this time. He did fantastic on his first exam yesterday, but he cannot afford to get sick right now and still be able to keep up with the work.

If my dad was properly vaccinated and cautious with his mask in public spaces and somehow still got covid like my in-laws did, fine. Fine. Of course the risk with them visiting would not be non-existent, I’m not under any illusions about that. But he didn’t even freaking try. He couldn’t be bothered. He was too pigheaded and selfish and brainwashed to do the most basic things to protect himself and others, even knowing that his daughter is pregnant and that his grandson’s previous recovery from covid took months and his grandson still isn’t as protected as he could be from another round. I’m so angry. I don’t even know what to say to him at this point.