#and i'm sorry I wrote a whole essay

[winter-spark]

Do you guys ever think about the amount of pressure and how draining it must be to have been Orange growing up?

No no like seriously think about it, think about it.

When everyone found out that Citron would be next in line for the throne, Orange was dragged into the spotlight with him. It had to have been from the jump that people who didn't want Citron, the son of a commoner, as King latched onto Orange.

"Orange would be a better fit." "Orange should be king." "Why the son of a commoner when the next son isn't one?"

Like Orange probably heard stuff like that all throughout his life, that's a lot. To immediately be put in a box as a better fit for ruler, and you know it was a lot of pressure because he then dedicated his life to proving that point. He had to be better than his hard-working, calculative, already training/set-to-be-the-King older brother, when from the get-go people preferred him.

Sure Citron worked to win over the public's opinion but don't you think that hurt more? So many thought you'd be a better fit and now they're saying your brother is a good fit, that they're happy and satisfied with that? What? Was your hard work not good enough? Were you somehow worse than him? Did you dissatisfy the people?

Orange grew up feeling in constant comparison to Citron. Feeling in the eye of the people. Knowing that if anything happened to lead to Citron not being King, he was next up. And even with the number of people who liked Citron, there were still people who thought Orange should be King instead, including extremists, one of which worked for Orange directly for who knows how long. He couldn't relax, he couldn't quit, he didn't have the room to.

They tell us that Citron couldn't get along with his brothers because the competition for the crown but we don't get to see it from Orange and Navel's perspective much. We know they were curious enough about Citron that they'd copy some things he did, such as reading one of his favorite books. But let's not forget they had a negative takeaway from that book, they didn't get it. Their world, though similar to Citron's, has colored their lenses darker than his, to where they couldn't see the positive over the parts that didn't make sense to them, over the negative. Also, they see Citron as lucky, that he was born under a lucky star. While Citron was the one to say they then must've been born under unlucky stars, they already were somewhat thinking that to point out how lucky Citron is. After all, they had to have been comparing his luck to something to conclude he was lucky.

Being Orange was being bitter and cold and working hard to accomplish a goal. A goal many thought you were suited for, to the point that you believed it yourself, that you had to prove it to your father-- to everyone, that you had to be ready if it ever came to pass. And that's what he did.

He worked hard, and plotted, and schemed, and grew so desperate. And it wasn't even because he hated Citron. Because he doesn't hate Citron. Orange resents Citron, he thinks it should've been him instead, he thinks he needs to prove himself better than Citron, he thinks Citron is in his way. But he doesn't hate him. If he hated him he wouldn't read his favorite book to try and get that bit of understanding. If he hated him he wouldn't care if Citron died, so long as he got the throne. But he did read that book, and he did care that Citron lived, making it clear that he thought just kidnapping him was suffice. So yea, Orange didn't do all of that out of hatred for Citron, but moreso out of (self)obligation, expectation and determination.

It was hard in his earliest years for him not to desire the crown, the comments against Citron likely initially felt somewhat as a compliment. So of course, it became something more something he just had to make tangible. People believed he could, he believed he could, he just had to get there. He'd been convinced from a young age that this was what he wanted. And maybe he really did. But it wasn't easy and all his hard work never seemed to come to fruition.

He worked hard and people grew to like Citron as next in line. He studies to be prince, was days away from his coronation, and Citron shows up for the crown. Orange kidnaps his brother, (says no on the killing of him) to try a last ditch effort of getting the crown because if Citron was coronated he wouldn't get any other chances. But the one person who was supposed to be on his side and listen to him directly, didn't and everything went up in flames, which he didn't want, and he's been stripped of the chances to become king(because he did set up basically an attempted hit on his brother). And his reputation was completely tarnished, being blamed for things he didn't do, such as breaking the translation device.

Of course, Orange's actions are his own and of course he has to make up for the harm he's caused and of course people's view of him was gonna change. But gosh it's so exhausting being Orange, working your whole life for the affection, respect and approval of the people, of your father, and for it all to turn to dust. All that hard work down the drain.

You think he ever wished he was Tangerine? Blissfully out of the race for Crown, able to have time without people looking closely at your actions in comparison to Citron's, able to breathe?

[rin-u-pos]

I hope you know that you bring me great joy and you're one of my favs on here 🥰

A+ tastes in anime husbands, hILARIOUS and I love hearing your thoughts on basically anything!!!

wishing u an amazing day today!! and tomorrow! AND THE DAYS AFTER THAT!!

THANK YOU I HAD SO MUCH FUN TALKING TO YOU TODAY TOO!!! But I had to get back to work. I have to earn money to pay for my figures lol and my teeth. It's so hilarious how a serious contemplative conversation about the acotar fandom got derailed into talking about HUSBANDOS.

I never replied to the last message about KnY but I love Tengen and Himejima too! You have great taste! I think my second favorite pillar is Giyu the depressed water guy. And for some reason I really like Zenitsu too 😅

I never properly shared mine besides Levi, Zoro and Rengoku. I can't share them all because the list would be too long. I think one of my first husbando was adult Trunks in DBZ. Here are the first ones I can think of but it's not all of them.

Death the Kid (Soul Eater), Gaara (Naruto), Toshiro Hitsugaya (Bleach), Hibari Kyoya (KHR), Takumi Aldini (Food Wars), Toshiro Hijikata (Gintama), Shouto Todoroki (MHA)

Thank you for wishing me luck! I have my next dentist appointment tomorrow and I'll need it for sure.

I also want to remind you about how amazing you are and I feel giddy when I see you or your alter ego in my notifications. I hope you had a wonderful day and even more amazing days to come 🥰

[cowboyskeletons]

and sparrow's son loves the world so much and loves everyone around him and how can sparrow tell him that the world is cruel? how can he tell him that love will be punished and that cruelty is the only way to survive? normal's love scares him, he loves his son so much but that love scares him. he would do and has done anything for his son but he knows that it has led to his own ruin. and he loves his son but too much love has only ever harmed him and maybe he can take a model from his own dad and multitask.

maybe he can love his son but he hates him too, hates that normal can love and hates that normal can be loved and hates that normal can be so oblivious to the cruelty around him in a way that he himself lost when the world ended. he wants his son to have everything but loathes that fact that normal'll never try. that he just accepts life as it is. the way his dad did, when sparrow saluted henry and went along with the world's end and turned a blind eye to his wife's infidelity.

he sees himself in normal, maybe. maybe he hates that. because he lost himself, that day he lost his father's care and his mother's respect, and he can't bear to see himself lost again. normal needs to be cruel because otherwise he will be crushed and sparrow can't do that again. can't let himself be crushed again.

[dbphantom]

Hate having adhd went to go work on my fallout modpack, got distracted while going to disable the steam overlay, ended up in the points shop, went to go edit my profile, decided to change my pfp, found a buried folder I forgot existed, found some old Veneer art I forgot existed, spent 45 minutes looking at all the old photos, STILL HAVE NOT TOGGLED ONE SIMPLE OPTION THAT SHOULD'VE TAKEN 30 SECONDS AT MOST

[brown-little-robin]

hi robin :] very random but im watching craft videos while i eat dinner and it got me thinking about ur ceramics. giving u permission to ramble about the ceramics process (or literally anything abt ceramics), if you want to <3 idk anything abt ceramics like not a clue but im very curious and every time u talk abt them i stare at u w sparkly eyes (also i've recently developed a HUGE respect for all 3d arts bc holy shit making it look right at all angles ?????literally how)

👀✨‼️

Hi thank you so much!! staring at you with the same sparkly eyes,,, watching craft videos while you eat that's so cool,,, Also, weirdly enough, I have the same "how???" thoughts about doing 2d art. I have trouble conceptualizing making something look right from only 1 angle; that seems like a lot of pressure. with a sculpture, if something doesn't look right from one angle, I know there's probably some structural problem, and I turn the sculpture around a little bit and usually figure out that the problem is deeper than what I thought. I'm thinking of ears, specifically—how, often, my problem with the outlines of my ears (seen from the front) is that the back of the ear isn't full enough, I need to add clay, and just nudging the clay to fix the outline wouldn't Work. and I wouldn't have known if I couldn't turn the sculpture around. the respect and awe goes both ways

longgg ramble about the ceramics process below the cut :]

okay SO. the ceramics process, huh? Well, I mean, I'm really in love with the sculpting part, where you take wet clay and make it into an Animal with Bones And Muscles. I just love the animal form—I think in a similar way to how you love the human form and the way clothing folds. I do wheel-throwing too (I make cups, bowls, that sort of thing), but I've been sculpting since I was like 8 years old and I'm way better at sculpture. it's one of a few things in my life that I take genuine pride in. I love teaching people about sculpting, too!! nothing better than seeing someone instantly grasp the insight I spent years developing <333 ANYWAY

one thing that often surprises people about clay is that it's very... flexible, water-content-wise. clay is basically made of a bunch of small "plates" of dry material with water in between. the water makes the entire structure flexible, which is why clay shrinks and goes brittle when it dries. and clay is always drying out. small sculptures like the ones I make, especially ones with thin limbs (more surface area for the air to leech moisture out of) dry out within half an hour. I have to add water to the thin parts every so often the whole time I'm sculpting. but of course the clay has to be firm enough to hold the creature's overall shape, so it's a balance. it's always a race against time. it's super exciting. To Me, anyway

it takes a day or two for a sculpture to dry. After the sculpture dries out, that's when I paint it with my special pigments. (pigments that survive 2,000+ degrees of heat!!) Like this:

these are the same sculpture. the first picture was from right after I sculpted the wet clay; the second picture is after it got painted.

Then once a sculpture is made, it sits and dries, right? the water leaves the clay. but not ALL the water. that's why you "fire" the sculpture: you put it in a kiln and heat it up to ~1800°F. EIGHTEEN HUNDRED DEGREES. at that point, all the water boils out and the clay CHEMICALLY CHANGES. the "plates" begin to bond to each other. But they don't bond all the way in the first firing, because you want the clay to still be porous / hydrophilic. you want it to SUCK IN WATER. this is because you want GLAZE to attach to the clay.

Glaze—at least the kind of glaze that I use—is basically DIY glass. It's a lot of very fine silica (sand) with other stuff (like powdered metals) in it to give color. The sand-metal-powder is suspended in water to make it usable, and I stir up the glaze in its liquid form and dip my sculpture in it, and the super dry clay goes YAY WATERRR I'M SO THIRSTY and GRABS the glaze, and the powdery part is left on the surface of the sculpture while the water goes into the clay. it feels funny on your skin when you hold a sculpture in the glaze; you can actually feel the dry clay accepting the water. it feels like... have you ever dropped water on a bone-dry wooden board and seen the water spread out in the direction of the wood's grain? it feels like that.

the sculpture is left looking white and powdery and generally not very attractive. unfired glaze is just... thick white chalk.

THEN I fire the clay a SECOND time. The heat varies, but I always fire to at least 2,244° F. >:D >:D >:D and the sandy glaze actually MELTS INTO GLASS. and I open the kiln, which has the products of about a year or two of work in it, and I WEEP IN JOY because everything has COMPLETELY TRANSFORMED. firing is always risky. some of the sculptures always fail somehow—they break in firing for various reasons, or the glaze runs onto the shelf, or the glaze color turns out different than I thought. but some of them always come out BETTER than I imagined. and it's always a process of discovery, slowly unloading the kiln, layer by layer... the objects still warm from the heat of their firey transformation... hot enough to burn, if you're unloading before they've cooled enough, which I usually do because it's just so exciting...

and my glaze shrinks slightly more than the clay does. imagine that: a thin layer of glass shrinking more than it can take. you can actually hear it breaking. little quiet "plink! plink! plink!" as the glass shatters just a little under the stress. we call it "crazing" and it leaves little cracks in the glaze, like so:

you can also see tiny bubbles in the glaze on the rabbit's inner ear!

I just. (physically shaking) I just love ceramics so much. The sculpting part feels almost like meditation. it's almost a form of worship, for me, it's religious, it's a little version of creation, a way to look at bodies and try to express how they work. For the simple sculpture, I just make them from memory, but I work from references for my difficult sculptures—for instance, here's the little pile of images I collected to make my recent tiger:

the painting part is just plain fun, putting cool designs and stuff on a 3-d object in a low-pressure way. and then the two firings are pure magic. pure delayed gratification. it's incredible. you're telling me this thing I shaped with my mortal human fingers survives TWO THOUSAND DEGREES OF HEAT? you're telling me I get to MAKE COLORED GLASS? out of SAND and METAL? you're telling me after all that, I get to open up the kiln which has put these things through immense heat and see these beautiful objects and go I made those?????

YEAH. SCREAMS.

thanks for reading, I hope you had fun <333

[djsangos]

//who are THESE fresh squids?? (made here)

okay these guys might not get a mention on this blog for a while- if ever- so i'm gonna talk about them now bc i've been rotating them in my mind for a while

these are captain's siblings! the ones they left behind when they were 14 to run away to inkopolis. captain certainly isn't proud of leaving them behind at ALL, in fact the one thing they wish they'd done differently is taking them with them, even if it would've been damn near impossible to take care of 2 younger siblings all on their own away from home when they were already struggling to take care of themself. they have no idea how their siblings fared with their neglectful ass father after they left, but pierce (right) was only a year or 2 younger than them, so they hoped he'd be able to leave soon too- taking harper (left) with him

so yeah harper (left) i think is probably around 16 or 17 now, having been 7 or 8 when captain left. since she was pretty young she didn't really know exactly why they left, and they didn't tell her either, so i'd say she probably resents them for it. she's a hotheaded edgy teen, classic rebel, you know the deal.

and then there's pierce (right), who's around 21 or 22 now, so he would've been 12 or 13 when they left. even if they didn't say a word to him before packing their bags and hopping a train at the asscrack of dawn, he knows exactly why they did. because being a kid and not only growing up, but having to parent your 2 younger siblings in your father's place, is hard. he basically had to take on their role as caretaker of harper when they left, being the second oldest, and that's how he realized. he doesn't resent them exactly, but he does wish they'd at least said goodbye. he's an outwardly chipper guy, and puts on a brave face even at the worst of times.

and they both did eventually get out of that house- pierce didn't leave as soon as he turned 14 like captain did (though cod, he wanted to) but when harper was old enough to be left home alone he got a job and saved up what he could to get himself and his younger sister out of there. and then when harper was 12 and he was 17, he got them both out of there. they might have gone somewhere else first, but i wanna say they probably ended up in splatsville, living in an apartment together with pierce doing what he can to support harper through school, and she does some turfing herself to help with rent and save up her own money so she can get her own place eventually.

i feel like the reason they probably haven't run into captain is that captain lives in inkopolis and only really goes to splatsville to visit rookie, and the last time they saw their siblings, neither of them were fully transformed yet, and they aren't so easy to recognize anymore themself. so if they've happened to pass each other on the street, it'd take more than just a cursory glance to realize just who they're passing. so it could definitely, and likely will, happen eventually. who's to say.

[potato-elf]

personal posting in the tags again beware

[jslittlebirdie]

First of all, please excuse my message being so late again. Today was once again a busy day for me. And I'm warning you in advance that my babbling is suuuuuper long and everything, pfft.

I'm so happy for you. Fluffy feelings are the absolute best. I hope it stays that way for you, my friend. He loves you so much and he'd do anything and everything to protect you. You're his safe haven. And inspiration for writing too? That's so so amazing, darling. I hope you get to write down all your ideas. Heh, I'm excited and all ears if you ever want to share a little with me. That is if you can. I love how your mind works, darling. He's the bestest muse ever.

Again, reading your gush made me smile so big omg. The love you have for him is so wholesome and wonderful and adorable. It gives me all the fluffy and warm feelingsas well. I could listen to you guys forever. And I mean it. I wish I could give you a longer and more detailed answer, I wish he could give you an answer, but yeah... Maybe he isn't this good at telling you, but he loves the way you care for him so deeply. All the tenderness and kindness you give him. All the gentle and soft touches. The kisses, whisperd declarations of love and shared affection. It makes his heart melt. He finally found someone he can trust, someone who doesn't hurt him, someone who accepts and loves him for him, someone who really cares for him and wants the best for him. Maybe you can't change his past, but you can make sure that his now and future will be better. Together. (Excuse me while I'm making my silly heart ache with love and sadness at the same time. I'm sure you know what I mean.) He is forever grateful that he has you and he will always hold onto you. He's yours just as much as you are his. One of my all time favorite couples. You really are made for each other. Thank you for loving him and for letting him love you. Well, I could gush about you forever.

Oh my, thank you for all your kindness. And yeah, you always remind me of my days omg. I'm so endlessly grateful to you for that and all your love. Pffft I just noticed that Eddie and I will have an anniversary on my birthday in June. Anyway. Thank you for all your patience, I'm glad to hear that you still want to read it when I'm done with it. And yes, I was thinking something similar. I've been thinking about the best way of posting it. I will totally keep that in mind, my dear friend. Yeah, I understand it... You're my friend as well and I love you very much too. It was...something to say the least. We both know... It still breaks my heart to read all this. Please promise to take care of yourself? Your loves won't leave you, ever. They're always there for you to help you and love on you. Trust me. They can't be without you for long. Especially with their chaotic selfs, right? Hehe. And I'm still here for you if I can, I promise. I know it wasn't your intention and you don't have to tell me anything. As long as you're okay I'm happy. I care about you a lot and just wish you all the best. Please don't be too hard on yourself. We're still good, I love you lots. I hope one day everything will work out for the better, my friend.

As for your vent. Please never think you're bothering me or anything, you aren't. Never. I'm here to listen and maybe even help a bit from afar. Talk, vent, or gush away. This offer always stands, my friend. I'm here for you. You're important to me and you're not alone. And I'm so incredibly proud of you for trying, for doing your best and that you keep going despite everything. And I want you to know that you are enough. Please don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're amazing. You're hardworking, talented, kind and smart. You really are smarter than you think you are. I think I know how you feel. It's a bit similar for me. There's always so much to do, new stuff keeps coming up, but the day only has so many hours. But you are right, one step after the other. One day after the other. A very wonderful girl told me to eat the elephant one bite at a time. You're doing your best and your best is always enough. Stress sucks and so do all the other things. It's not fair of people to say these things and treat you this way. Unexpected things happened and it is human to react this way. Your feelings are valid. Just between the two of us, I probably would've reacted similarly. It would've been better if they explained things to you in a calm voice and comforted you. I'm sorry you had to experience this. And talking to yourself is a good way to ground yourself and it is indeed some kind of coping mechanism. And you're very much allowed to do this in private, darling. It's way better than bottling up all your feelings. Oh, and you're right. I hope it's not inappropriate for me to say that, but they should be more understanding. Forcing you to talk when you don't want to and can't is not okay. Maybe they mean to help you, but it's not helpful at all. You will talk when you're ready. After this whole situation you need some time to decompress. And like I already said, understanding and communication is the key. Well, I'm sorry, sweetheart... Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought they are, but your feelings are still valid. You know, your boys would never do anything like that. They love you and they care about you. Deeply. They understand and they are there for you to help you. You're not a burden or pathetic or whatever. If you need to cry, they will hold you and try to comfort you. If you want to talk, they will listen. If you just need their closeness, they won't go anywhere until they know that you're better. Lots of cuddles and kisses. You don't upset them, darling. What does upset them is when you are sad and stressed. They want to help you and give you their love if you just let them. And of course they would try to cheer you up, because your smile is the prettiest thing they've ever seen. Lots of silly and goofy jokes, I bet both of them are really good at that, pfffft hehe. I really, really hope that your next days will be better. You don't deserve any of that. Please try to be as gentle with yourself as you can. You're absolutely wonderful, inside and out. Here, take all my hugs and strength. I'm rooting for you. And I'm always here for you.

Well, and a bit more happy thing. Thank you very much for your recommendations. I mean it. I'm really interested in everything. This is some random babbling, but I started a playlist for Eddie a while ago. Songs I believe he'd like, songs that make me think of him etc. And I always add new things. I really like Metallica now. And Iron Maiden. Ha! I already added some of the Metallica songs you mentioned, thank you very much. And I will totally listen to all the other ones. Oh my, you're right. The Unforgiven made me think of J too. And Fuel is perfect for him, hehe. Personally, Nothing Else Matters always makes me think of my loves. Secret. I saw a record of the Foo Fighters a few days ago and it totally made me think of you because you mentioned it. I love you lots my friend. It means a lot to me that you share these things with me, I adore your taste in music and I'm always happy to learn new things. And your reminders always give me the fluffiest and bestest feelings, I'm so endlessly grateful for you. To know you and be friends with you.

Wow, this post is giant, but I had to tell you. Well if I could I'd say even more, but we both know. I love you and I'm hugging you right now. I hope you are doing well. I'm thinking of you and I'm here for you whenever you need me. Thank you so much. As always, get you some more cuddles and kisses, and please keep them close. They love you so so much.

[lifemod17]

thoughts on 'Unaired EP'

IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-

below the cut in case you don't want spoilers <3

Nobody's Soldier

THE FUCKIN FALSETTO IS DRIVING ME INSANE ITS LIKE HE LACED THIS SONG WITH CRACK

"Benzos and gasoline" line is WILD (it is so hot for no reason wtf Andrew)

the little break that happens at 1:43 with. i don't even know what that is? like a sort of distorted / reverbed guitar bend / riff? either way, LOVE THAT.

also lets give it up one time for the organ, that is SO GNARLY, YOU CANNOT DENY IT!!!

hearing the live version vs. this recorded one is different, I literally went "OMFG WHAT IS THIS PART" starting at 2:53 when he gets all whisper-y WHY IS IT SO HOT

Listen man, I am a sucker for a good pause, and that pause after the bridge has me UNWELL.

SLOWING IT DOWN for the ending will never not be iconic. you don't see that happening a lot!

the intake of breath on the outro??!! tumblr user lifemod17 is NOT FARING WELL

July

so full of hope and promise and really just about having that thing or that someone to look forward to. The definition of "postpone that funeral"

THE SYNTHS??? FORGIVE HIM FATHER FOR HE HAS SYNTH!!!

"JUST KNOWING THAT'S GETTING ME THROUGH"?!?!?!? I wanna throw up. that is a Tonee-ass line. yeah 'July' is DEFINITELY taking the crown. This is my favorite from the EP.

i WAS right! he says 'prada' because it just made so much sense with the 'wore me out' line.

the whole second half had me in SHAMBLES. the lyrics were already insane but also throw in his soft voice mixed with the FUNKY & GROOVY beat?? I fear it is so over for me (I was genuinely screaming into a pillow and needed to sit down even though I was already sat and also I didn't know what to do with my person so I was just laying there and looking up at the ceiling while fighting off tears. I was SHOOK.)

It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and makes me want to roll downhill a field and pick flowers to give to strangers

Have I mentioned the pen game? Because it is on level 9000. His pen was on fire when he has writing this

B A S S O U T R O GOT ME ACTING TF UP

That You Are

I was not expecting the lyrics to be "that I'd be anywhere that you are". im sorry but that is devastatingly beautiful and rips my heart out brb sobbing

my wig quietly and peacefully ascended from my head.

it's a lot more raw, production wise. the vocals aren't super clean, but I actually really like it this way!!! it makes the song that much more precious, gentle, intimate

Bedouine's vocals NEVER DISAPPOINTS!! She always has a way of transporting you with her music- makes you feel like you're floating above water

I needed to sautee the yearning for this one, its so pretty but hits you right in the feels

The fact that this is speculated to be the contender for the spot of 'I, Carrion (Icarian)' I'M GONNA CRY AGAIN Andrew please do an EP breakdown cuz I need to know!

that little instrumental interlude towards the bridge is so lovely and the entire song really! I think they did a good job of splitting the vibe 50/50 <- I say this because I listen to Bedouine a lot and the vibe of her songs is definitely here. it just really shows that they both wrote this together. its not a feature, its a collab

We're all gonna cry and then afterwards we're all gonna hug cuz this song just inflicted so much emotional damage upon all of us

[sunkeji]

Heyyy can i ask for tsukishima and sakasu were them and the reader try those periods simulation things! The reader is all fine and chill while the boys are screaming bloody murder and asking how the reader deals with these on a monthly basis! Separately please! Thank you!!!!

Period simulator ft. Tsukishima & Sakusa

a/n: I'm sorry I got to this late!! I didn't like how I wrote it originally so I scrapped the whole thing and redid it. Hopefully you like this (⁠^⁠^⁠)

Warnings: curse word used in sakusa's part, not proofread, if taken out of context it sounds pretty weird,it feels like i wrote a descriptive essay.

Imagine you make a bet against your boyfriend that if he was a girl, he wouldn't be able to bear the pain of period cramps but he says otherwise. So after that conversation with him, you purchase a period simulator to try during the weekend with him. Sitting on the couch side by side with the period simulator between you two, he steels himself for what's about to come while you are brimming with anticipation.

Tsukishima Kei

He was super confident at first that he would be able to withstand the pain. Not because he undermines the pain of period cramps but because he thinks he has a high pain tolerance. But little does he know...

At the first setting, it was still alright. It was uncomfortable, but still bearable. He brushed off your teasing comments, telling him that it's okay to back out now if it was too painful. He merely rolled his eyes and quipped back, saying he could go to sleep at this setting.

You crank the pain to level 3 and you see Tsukishima jolt. You give him a teasing smile and he quickly says that it was just very sudden and how he didn't expect it and blah blah blah.

You don't even give him a minute to get use to it when a mischievous smile makes its way to your face and you switch it to the highest setting.

Just as quickly as you switched its setting to the highest, you hear a quiet whimper come out of him. The both of you freeze and time seems to have stopped save for the ticking of the clock in the living room.

You hit him with the:

You open your mouth and are about to say something but he quickly interjects in a quiet voice; "no, keep it to yourself, I don't want to hear it" all while avoiding eye contact. You know he's not being mean, just a bit embarrassed or sulky maybe 🤔 so you don't take it to heart.

After that whole fiasco, he made you promise to not utter a single word to anyone about this. And one more time you bring up the fact that the great Tsukishima Kei had actually whimpered, he might actually strangle you for real this time.

Jokes aside, He's left speechless that you actually have to deal with this each time you get your period. He's much nicer to you now when you're on your period, You get less sass from him when on your period and he's more understanding of your situation now.

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Can’t believe you actually bought it. Scolds you for wasting your money but since you’ve already bought it, might as well try it. He pretends like this whole thing is a nuisance but he is actually very curious.

He’s kinda nervous because from what he’s seen with you on days where your period cramps are really bad, it looks like you’re suffering from an unknown stomach disease that’s plagued the entire female population in the world and you are just another one of its victims.

Some very tiny part of him wants to be tough and show you that he’s strong but in actuality, he’s in for a rude awakening. He takes level 1 and 2 like a breeze but when you turn it up to level 3, beads of sweat are rolling down his forehead and he’s gripping the armrest of the couch and the veins in his arm are visible.

You glance at him, waiting for another reaction but when nothing else happens, you feel a tad bit disappointed and tell him you’ll put it to the highest setting now. He’s about to protest and reaches out to grab your arm but the intensity of the period simulator takes him by surprise and instead he ends up grabbing your thigh and squeezes it hard.

Now the both of you are screaming profanities and are thrashing around. If he doesn’t let go, you can’t adjust the setting of the period simulator. And if you don’t adjust the settings of the period simulator, he can’t let go because it hurts like a bitch. It’s a whole never ending cycle.

So its a few seconds of the two of you thrashing around before you reach under his shirt and yank the wires and simulator off of him. Then, it’s just the sounds of the two of you heavily breathing and trying to catch your breaths. You turn to him and your eyes go wide when you see he actually has a few tears rolling down his cheeks as he stares at you blankly.

Now you’re left wondering what’s the appropriate course of action. Do you start cackling like a maniac because you never thought he’d start crying then console your boyfriend or do it the other way around? Well you didn’t have to think about it for long because a few seconds later, his head fell ontop of your lap with his arm covering his eyes.

You ask him if he’s feeling okay with a goofy smile plastered on your face from the event that had previously unfolded. You hoped your boyfriend wouldn’t move his arm now otherwise he’d pinch you for smiling at his misery. He mumbles softly about how he just needs a few minutes to recollect himself and then he’ll be good to go. So in the meantime, you brush your fingers through his hair. After a few minutes or so he asks you with a sigh; “You’ll never let this go will you?”. You laugh and plant a kiss on his head “Nope!”

You remind him how it feels even worse by adding the nausea, dizziness and low blood pressure you may get. So now he takes extra good care of you 🫶 he feeds you lots of red meat, refills your water bottle and even gives you massages anywhere you're feeling sore.

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

ok so ive been rewatching psychoville and saw on the wikipedia that there were a bunch of websites made for the series (they were all written by reece and steve btw) which i've been looking through cos they are genuinely SO fucking funny & also just amazingly creative lol!

anyway i know people in the fandom probs already know about this (since the show came out literally 15 years ago pfft) but i thought i'd share some of my fav bits (but honestly would just recommend just checking them out if you haven't i have been crying with laughter for literally hours lol)

i will say that a lot of the media (videos, games, etc) no longer work on the archived sites rip but i'm sure people have uploaded some of the stuff (vids especially) to yt or other places lol

so a) i love that we get some background stuff on jelly and 2) 'captain CRACKERS' bernie clifton's dressing room reference question mark ??????? (ofc bcdr was AFTER this but i know love the idea that mr jelly trained under len pfft)

what that red raw stump do though 👀 (sorry pfffft)

mr jolly's website wasn't that interesting soz tho i did like him comparing being a doctor to being a clown lol

the comment about fag bears did make me wheeze i'm afraid lol i also loved the blurry photos of lomax's commodities lol (kinda reminded me of the bit in tlog w/ that terrible old photographer guy lol)

when i tell you i DIED with laughter at the 'now known as hull' bit like u just know reece wrote that bit pfft

not really a funny thing but this poem written by david honestly kinda breaks my heart lol... i think it also a lot of additional context to david's guilt when he thought he'd killed his father(faver) because perhaps he felt guilty about NOT feeling guilty you get me? like, it felt to me that when maureen told david it was SHE who killed her husband, it didn't feel like he was mad at her for doing it, but more that she kept the fact from him. it's about... the mutual oedipus-coded obsession with one another that couldn't even be destroyed in death and in this essay i will....

ghoul_lass23 is just like me but about tumblr lol fr

nothing feels more cursed than the phrases 'the river minge has burst its banks', 'crying creamy tears' and 'fleshy rapunzel' (which i've just noticed they misspelt lol... don't think that was intentional lol?) so if i had to read this so do you <3

the way that i kinda wish this actually existed tho pfft... also, it does kinda remind me of that video where jenny nicholson talked about that insane reality show 'opposite worlds' lol

'cross between seven and glee' is honestly sending me pfft

also on this part there was a script from stinkfinger (which is a show mentioned on the show) which sounded suspiciously like a reference to tlc lol

the less said about swastknickers the better

(will say i did nearly piss myself laughing at the nazi section of the hoity toity website lol which wasn't a sentence i thought i'd type today lol)

i just love these kinds of jokes pfft

also the whole biography sections of each of the pantomime cast are fab lol tho i AM kinda pissed they made debbie from yeovil and yet didn't give her a west country accent lol!!! (i guess they thought it'd be a bit much w/ joy being bristolian but i'm still mad about it lol)

also i know people have probably already pointed this out but i do find it funny that brian in the in9 episode last night of the proms is a closeted gay guy who likes watching drag was probably a reference to brian in this show that was a drag queen like... is anything these guys do NOT a reference??? u know those gaylor fans who obsessively look for clues in her songs about her apparent secret sexuality? all i'm saying is that i think they'd really like the extended reece shearsmith & steve pemberton universe pfft

all three of these made me cry with laughter lol

ohh this is interesting lol so obviously they suspected that some people might be all 'um why didn't the sprinklers go off during the fire at ravenhill? plot hole much!' so they wrote this into one of the websites so they could be like SEE! WE'RE ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU DUMBASSES lol

both the jeremy kyle reference (remember when that was a thing? yikes... my mum used to watch his show CONSTANTLY...) and nurse kenshington's thoughts on david and maureen are interesting lol.. also there's a reference to the serial killer top trumps in this bit lol! (do people still play top trumps?? man i LOVED top trumps lol...)

the entire sunnyvale care home section is so fucking funny (both the website AND in the show lol mrs wren/mrs ladybird face is unironically probably my favourite character on the entire show) these were just some of my fav gags lol...

ok but why is this the SECOND reference to a guy punching a child who was apparently looking at his dick lol!??!! did this happen to one of you ??!!?!? reece did you punch a child ??!???!?!??

&&&& that's it lol

there were a few websites i didn't spend long on or generally weren't that interesting (coughmidgetgemscough) but honestly? i was really captivated with just how funny and well put together all these sites were! you can tell they had a lot of fun making it and i'm sure fans at the time LOVED being able to have this semi-interactive element of the show lol

there was just something so wonderfully late 00's about these websites lol i genuinely don't think i've laughed this much at anything in literal months and all of this is just solidifies that psychoville is a criminally under-appreciated masterpiece lol

[menlove]

i saw on some of your posts that you say you aren’t an india truther, out of curiosity what do you think caused john and paul to have a fallout? do you think the resentment was more gradual and happened over 68-69? im sorry if you’ve answered this before but i love hearing about people’s theories of what happened in india and the aftermath.

sorry I totally forgot to answer this but for me.... hm. tossing under a readmore bc it got long oops

I think it was more gradual. like the way they act w each other in the get back sessions & just in general speaks more to something more unspoken happening than some big dramatic break up or rejection, at least to me. esp given how john & yoko lived with paul for a while in the summer of 68 (and talk about the world's worst throuple)

I wouldn't say I don't think Anything happened in india, but imo it seems more like.... I saw someone talking about how up until that point they were all on a lot of drugs & india was them getting off them for a minute & they sort of looked around and went "what the fuck are we doing? do I even know these people?" and that rings the most true to me I think.

some of the bigger reasons I have my doubts abt india being some huge thing where they fucked for the first time and paul rejected john are a) they still got along after that. things were weird but not much weirder than they'd been after brian's death b) paul wrote "i will" in india and I've talked before about how I'm 100% convinced that's about john and to me "will I wait a lonely lifetime, if you want me to I will" doesn't sound like the words of someone about to do any rejecting c) the infamous blowing the mic scene in get back is way too lighthearted and makes paul blush and giggle like they're just referencing fucking as a part of their relationship that happened enough to not be disarming. doesn't seem like john is being bitter or trying to egg him on and paul isn't reacting like someone that got called out for fucking john and then rejecting him. it reads more, to me, like just two lovers slyly joking around about a time they fucked that no one else can know about

which brings me to d) I'm also a "they had a sexual relationship" truther (which would be a whole other essay tbh) and so For Me Personally that just doesn't jive w smth big and dramatic happening in india. I just don't think they ever talked about what the fuck was going on between them, whatever it was, and then the typical band breakdown reasons coincided w a breakdown of their personal relationship as well. like just sort of dying out without much fanfare which can honestly be worse than some big rejection or breakup. and then ofc john goes full in with yoko and paul flounders around trying to settle down with a woman and marry her in such a weirdly frantic way. like that quote where he asks if he was supposed to be a 26 year old queer that never got married....... I would wager, imo, that things breaking down w john & then jane would've lead him to a bit of a Crisis about all that. but he found linda and went all in w her and she wound up pregnant so there you go.

which would lead them to a really weird place by the get back sessions, which I at least feel like is reflected pretty well- this awkward tension, paul's nervous desperation, nostalgia for the old times, lingering sexual tension. but not the attitude like they hated each other yet or had some big breakup or rejection. they're still joking and flirting, it's just awkward. the Big Moment would've been something else after that imo, probably john announcing he wanted a divorce but could've also been something more private that would go a long way to explaining why they were basically not on speaking terms at all by the abbey road sessions

again this is all Purely Speculation. mostly based on my more conflicting view from the fandom at large that they did have a sexual relationship and paul isn't as repressed/clueless as he puts on. so w those Two Beliefs in mind, this is sort of the trajectory that would make the most sense to me!

of course, without those two Core McLennon beliefs of mine I can see why people would point to india as the game changer if they think paul is a repressed bisexual who thinks he's straight while john pined over him. like it would make sense in that scenario if that's where the tension snapped & it was just a mess after that. but I very firmly and adamantly don't believe that so it's just hard for me to see the india theory as anything solid when there's a lot of other explanations for why india was such a shitshow

but all that is just me personally! don't have shit to back it up beyond what I can bring up about the evidence of a sexual relationship and paul being closeted that then lead me to these speculations based on that but yeah lmao

(and fun fact lmao whenever we publish it this is gonna be like half of the story of "i need you" so yall will get to see my fully baked opinion there mixed w just what I think would be fun or angsty dbshsjss)

[sanccharine]

the way everyday goes | ty

christmas au

pairing: tzuyu x gn!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 7k

warning: again so sweet it'll rot your teeth ;-;

summary: your bank account may be crying, but that doesn't matter when you spend money on the people you love most

a/n: this year (last years rip) christmas fic, would anyone believe me if i said everything was ready to be posted ?? i just got lazy, i'm sorry HAFGDHSKFH thanks to @eternallyghosting my human spelling and grammar check but ngl tho, i wrote this fic very weirdly, so expect some things to not add up, but yeah !! happy new year !!

When Tzuyu opened the door to her studio, she seemed the furthest thing from happy to see you. Though that was often the expression she wore when dealing with the likes of you. 

You, on the other hand, wore a wide grin, shaking a large bag of chips in one hand and a bottle of iced coffee in the other. 

She was dressed in her usual garb. The one she wore when she locked herself in her room for an ungodly amount of days. An extra large sweatshirt that fell to her thighs with matching sweatpants in black colour. The only indicator of her tension is the frayed hem of one corner, no doubt picked at the seam while she reads all of her essays and articles and textbooks.

Tzuyu was unamused, but you were used to that. No harm done. Scoffing at her deadpan look, you shoved your way into her small house. When she didn’t step to the side, your back clipped the door frame, while all she did was watch you with her owlish eyes. 

“Good morning,” you said, throwing another grin at her over your shoulder as you made your way straight to her study desk. Tzuyu had barely moved, holding the door open and just watching you run around her home as if it were your own. “Come on, why do you look like that? Catch!”

And you threw the chips packet at her. 

Your smile only widened as Tzuyu watched the packet fly across the distance between you and let it fall to her feet. She looked at the packet and then at you and then back at the packet. With a sigh, she closed the door behind her. 

You expected as much from her and shrugged. “Have fun with your crumbs,” you said, observing her study desk. 

“Oh, I will,” she mumbled and bent down to pick up the fallen treat.

Exams are over. Results were coming out soon for the semester. And best of all, your holidays have started. The campus is closed for a whole week until New Year’s, truly there was nothing to frown at. Yet, there you stood scrutinising Tzuyu’s desk. 

Her laptop is open on some unit site, codes and words that meant nothing to you. Her notebooks were strewn open with loose sheets, all highlighted and annotated with multicoloured pens. Sticky notes infiltrated every part of your vision. It overwhelmed you. Though, you supposed a student like Tzuyu could only function as such. 

“What—What is all…” you gestured loosely at her table, “this?”

Tzuyu, still at her place in front of the door, tilted her head to the left as she opened the chips packet. Her blank stare was just a touch away from a glare as she decided not to grace you with a response. 

You were used to her tricks. Same as she was to your taunts. 

“You know the semester is over right, like, you can rest now,” you say, but Tzuyu scoffed.

She made her way towards you and headed to the cupboard behind. But not before offering you some of her chips, you tipped the crumbs into your mouth.

“I have to prepare for postgrad,” she said, “you know that.”

“Oh, what postgrad?” you asked, feigning cluelessness but Tzuyu just sent a scathing glare over her shoulder. “Do you mean the postgrad that starts in September of next year?”

“Second week of October,” she said, as she pushed hangers out of the way as if they’d personally offended her. 

“Oh, even worse,” you sighed dramatically, throwing your arm over your forehead though she didn’t turn having seen this routine so many times. “That’s what? Only like a year’s worth of time—”

“It’s only ten months.”

“Oh sorry, only ten months, that’s truly so little time,” you said, purposely standing in her way when she turned to lay out her pick on the bed. Tzuyu liked to visualize her clothes. 

“That time will pass in a flash—get! Get out of my way!” she shoved you to the side and walked to her bed before continuing. “Before you know it, the semester will start and you’ll be wondering how you’re already behind on assignments.”

That was such a fatalistic belief that only a student like Tzuyu can hold. Even when she, herself, has disproved such thinking. 

“Yeah, but you did promise to take a break for a while,” you said, a bit of seriousness slipping in but you caught yourself. Shrugging exaggeratedly for effect and took a moment to consider. After a pause, you clapped your hands together. “Like how we said we’d go out and celebrate today! Remember that?” 

“Can’t say I do. Is that why you’re up so early today?” she said as she moved back and forth pulling out pieces to complete her outfit. Tzuyu then returned to her cupboard, shuffling something around in there. You’d say that she was trying to figure out how to complete her look, but knowing her, she’d probably planned her outfit for the day. 

You looked at your wrist, there was no watch. “Yeah, getting up before twelve was a real struggle,” you said and you moved right by her as she finally picked out a manuka winter coat. She ignored the way you clung to her side, though you didn’t miss the small smile she wore. Donning a smile of your own, you continued. “But you know those are the sacrifices I make for our relationship.” 

“Oh, is that right?” Tzuyu asked, following along with your playacting. 

“Oh yeah, I’ve been waiting all week for this day. All month even, you could say. Just for this, this very special, oh-so-jolly day. All only to get some time to spend with you, my—” You had just opened your arms to cage Tzuyu from moving around but she’d stopped you with a hand to chest. 

“It’s not that serious,” her words were clipped but she was smiling. “Calm down, now.”

“Now, why would I do that?” you asked, arms still outstretched, you jutted your chin at them, waiting for your hug. 

Tzuyu rolled her eyes but still relented. 

She giggled when your arms closed around like how a claw machine would around a toy. And similarly—

“Don’t—” her words ended in a squeal as you lifted her up and spun her around, a little wobbly on your feet just to mess with her. 

You dragged her down to her bed, crumpling her perfectly set up clothes on the way, and burst into giggles. All the while Tzuyu grumbled her distaste at being lifted up while struggling to get away from your hold. 

“Stop laughing!” she shrieked, pushing herself away as giggles escaped her lips as well. “Seriously, seriously! I’ll go get ready, let me go now!” 

You just hummed and rolled away as she hurriedly got off the bed. She straightened herself up before tugging at her clothes from beneath you. All you did was watch her, a cold sensation climbed up your arms. 

“You’re unbelievable,” she was flushed when she said it, but grinning ear to ear as she made her way to her bathroom.

By the time the pair of you had reached the bus station, you had finished both the packet of chips and your bottle of iced coffee. Swiping her card quickly, Tzuyu made her way to the back of the bus and picked a two-seater. This early in the morning and this far out of the city, there was barely anyone on the bus. She shuffled herself next to the window just as you took a seat next to her. 

The bus had already moved from the station when Tzuyu pulled out her phone and earphones from her pockets. Without even looking at you, she handed you the left earphone after putting the right one on. When you accepted, she pressed play and leaned back with her eyes closed. 

You watched her for a second, a reprieve from when she wasn’t studying you back. You heard a chime somewhere in your vicinity, but you didn’t turn away, your stop wasn’t up until a while.

Tzuyu often looked perfect. 

Of course, that was simple to say because she was beautiful. There was no doubt about it. 

But it wasn’t so surface-level. It bled into how she carried herself and practically built her facade. 

She’d said it herself. 

“Repetition leads to routine, and practice leads to perfection. It’s monotonous but it brings order. They set a standard,” she paused. “And that’s something I can’t afford to give up.” 

Granted, when she had uttered those words you’d found her in the same awful set of lockdown-sweats. A manic look in her eyes and her hair was frizzy from having a hand run through it so many times. She’d stayed up all night writing her draft of an essay that was worth nearly fifty percent of her grade. She’d barely eaten, surviving on instant black coffee and cereal bars. 

In those types of moments, she reminded herself of those words. She repeated them when her motivation dipped beyond recognition and staring at her screen made her eyes dry up. She had a sticky note of the same words written in a hasty scrawl in her line of sight, just above where her laptop sat, so it was always on her mind. She’d apologise because she was not one to bite her tongue, but she’d tell you the same words. And sometimes it motivated you, seeing her excel, you wanted that for yourself too. But most of the time, the weight of working so hard crushed you straight into the ground. 

It was worrying but she never really let herself stay down. And maybe, that’s where you came in. 

When she’d tired herself out, you’d bought her dinner to make sure she had a proper meal before she slept for a whole day. You provided the snacks when you both holed yourselves in the library. You dragged her out by planning days such as this. You were her reprieve. 

And by that time, you’d figured her out. 

You saw her past the perfection she so delicately manufactured. Past the painted nails. Past the crisply ironed dress shirts. Past the curious gaze. 

It wasn’t as if she completely removed her imperfections. If you knew where to look, you could find it. The fraying insides of her cuffs from picking at the threads. The flimsy collar barely holding its shape after being pulled at for so long. The flyaway strands that came undone when she played with her hair. They were always there, always humanizing her. You just needed to look at her long enough to know they existed. 

When you saw the muscle in her cheek twitch, you were brought back to the sensation of the moving bus, rumbling beneath you. She knew you were watching, but decided against confronting you about it. The thought brought a smile of your own as you picked up your phone to check when you needed to stop the bus. 

That was your duty. Your role in this relationship. One you took with pride. 

Tzuyu was comfortable enough to let herself take a step back and allow you to drag her wherever you’d planned, no questions asked. The entire day was scheduled on your phone, even allowing for late buses and trains. You’ve travelled enough on public transportation to account for this sort of thing. 

So that's how the trip to the central business district went. From bus to subway, from station to station, and one line to another—Tzuyu stuck by you. 

Her earphones, still connecting you. Your hand, always holding hers. 

You knew this city like the back of your hand. That happens when you spend nearly four years travelling back and forth, finding part-time jobs, going out, and attending events. 

Yet you were still noticing new things from time to time. 

As soon as your train stopped in the main district, you headed straight for the restaurants to load up on snacks. You still had time to kill before you needed to go where you needed to be. So you let Tzuyu drag you around, gawking at books she wants to read, playing around with fabrics of sweatshirts she already owned, but most importantly, you bought her almost everything she asked for when it came to food. 

Though she did threaten to leave when you first proclaimed loudly at the counter. “Don’t worry, anything for my pretty princess.” 

That was how you ended up holding two special collectable bubble tea cups, a take-away bag filled with free samples, and an inviting half-eaten honey cake which the pair of you left for later since it was too sweet. 

From time to time, you pestered Tzuyu to take photos of you. Although she whined about it, once the camera was up, she was striking a pose. Her, always so prim and proper, and you, always with your arm above her or around her or holding her. Always gazing at her.

“Tell me you didn’t,” though you weren’t facing her, you could imagine her gawking. 

“Well, I kinda did,” you shrugged, before throwing the clerk a smile as he went in to grab your shoes. 

“How much was this—”

“I told you, money is not a problem! Anything for my sweet little schnookums—oi! That actually really hurt!” you leaned on the counter, a groan escaping you as you held the bicep that was harassed. “Unbelievable, unbelievable!”

Tzuyu just stuck her tongue out before grabbing her own shoes and heading in. 

“Real mature,” you grumbled with a smile as you grabbed your pair of shoes and followed after her. 

You’d dumped all your belongings except your phone into a locker and took a seat by Tzuyu to put on the ice skating shoes. For some reason, the fit was never perfect. Sometimes it felt like it was biting into your toes, or placing pressure on your ankle, but then it felt too loose when you tried to stand. While you were doing and undoing the laces, you missed the way Tzuyu just watched you with a smile.

With a groan, you tried again, hoping to get it down this time. “Honestly,” you looked up for a second at the rink. “I didn’t expect it to be this packed.” 

“Oh, you’re telling me you didn’t expect one of the biggest ice rinks… in the city… to be busy… on Christmas Eve?” Tzuyu asked, her voice dripping with more derision with every statement. 

“Okay but is it really Christmas Eve if it is, like, eleven in the morning?” you asked with a sigh as you finally finished tying your shoes. 

“The whole day is the Eve,” she sent you a look as she stood, not wobbling at all on her blades. “And it’s almost two.”

“Is it?!” you asked, pulling out your phone. She was right!

Not according to schedule, but you expected as much. You could work with this. 

“That’s fine,” you said and pocketed your phone before trying to get up. Tzuyu’s hand was already in your vision, and without hesitation, you took it. “Thanks.”

When you were stable, she let go. 

“Okay, you can do it,” and with that, she took two steps and was on the rink already merging with the moving crowd that circled the border. 

“Chou Tzuyu, are you serious?” you screamed, even getting some looks, but you weren’t bothered. 

Even with the crowd, and the blaring Christmas tunes, you could hear her laugh once you spotted her. Tzuyu had her head thrown back, eyes crinkled close, and her right hand gripping the railing so she didn't double over and eat ice shavings. If she wasn’t having so much fun, you’d have been mad at her for laughing at your expense. 

Tzuyu moved along but slowed down a bit so that you could catch up. It’s not as if you’ve never skated before, you have. After all, you were the one to book this outing. You just hoped you would be a little bit more graceful. Of course, after a few rounds, the lack of practice and confidence will disappear, but for the moment, you longingly stared at the children gleefully making circles in the middle of the rink with their penguins. 

“Oh, come on, let go of the railing,” Tzuyu taunted, skating smoothly by your side, while you were hunched over the railing, basically walking on ice. “Come on!”

“Yeah, I don’t have a death wish,” a child giggled as she passed around you with a penguin aid. You’re sticking next to the railing too, kid!

“Why did you book this if you’re not even going to skate properly?” Tzuyu had the gall to pout. 

“Because it’s in theme! Winter, holidays, snow, Christmas—!” you let out an ugly squeal as the blades slipped from underneath you. For a moment, you flailed. You imagined you looked like those cartoon characters just as they teetered off a cliff, hands winding around like a propeller to stop themselves from plummeting. Thankfully, the railing was your shining knight in armour and your wayward legs had stopped fighting you.  

Tzuyu had stopped skating. But once you looked back at her, both elbows over the railing while huffing and puffing, she just broke out laughing. Maybe you’d admire how free she looked when she laughed like that if you weren’t glaring at her. While she did that, you pulled yourself into a standing position. 

“I’m fine,” you huffed out as you were standing and facing the rink again. “Thanks for worrying, by the way.” 

Still chuckling, Tzuyu came closer to the railing. And then she did something insane. 

Pushing herself with one foot, she spun around and came to a stop in front of you. 

When did she have the time to learn all of that?

“No need to show off.” Tzuyu rolled her eyes as she extended her arms. 

“And no need to be killjoy,” she retaliated before jutting her chin at her hands. “Come on, take it.” 

You made quite the show of how much you did not want this, though it was hard to suppress your smile. She shared the expression when you took her help. With a nod, she pushed off and moved backwards, pulling you with her. 

When she tugged you close, you let out another yelp, and she had to press her lips thin to not burst out laughing again. She moved slowly, helping you find your footing on the ice while you navigated her away from bumping into people. Maybe if you weren’t so busy with maintaining your balance, you may have taken your chance to press a kiss on her nose, only to watch her scrunch her eyes shut and blush to her ears. 

Once you’d done a round like that, Tzuyu decided to be brave and pushed herself back to your side. Although she was still holding one of your hands, leaning down, she picked up pace and so you followed her. Before you knew it, you were skating again. Like you used to, the few times you visit. Right by her side, competitions and bets came up, but at the end of the rounds, you were just finding ways to hold Tzuyu’s hand again. 

When you realized that the rink’s Christmas playlist had looped, you decided it was time for a break. For you, at least. Stopping at a corner near the entrance to the rink, you leaned on the railing as you watched Tzuyu make easy rounds around the rink, even daring to skate between people. Like any other person, you picked out your phone and started filming her fly across the rink. 

There was one particular move where she skated backwards and manoeuvred into a slow spin that made her laugh when she executed it perfectly. However, she’d almost run over a child who barely reached her knee in the process. Instantly, she was on her knees on the ice, even though the kid kept shaking her head to convey that she was fine. That was how you had another video of Tzuyu, skating hand in hand with a little girl as she taught her how to do a little circle. 

You were on the seats with your shoes already in your hands when Tzuyu plopped herself down next to you. 

“Happy?” you asked, tilting your head to watch her. 

The grand clock chimed to mark the start of a new hour. 

She nodded, eyes scrunched close again as she grinned. “Very.”

By the time you’d collected your things and finished up the rest of your leftover snacks, it was already time for dinner. You made your reservation just in time. When you entered the restaurant, the first thing the maitre d’ did was judge you. Well, you couldn’t be sure of what was going through his head, though you're sure he wasn’t supposed to stare at you for so long. 

Granted, you and Tzuyu had sprinted the last few steps because it started snowing hard, and were huffing and puffing like some steam engine. 

“Welcome,” his voice pitched high before he corrected himself and tried again. Instead of bursting out laughing, you and Tzuyu just shared an amused look before following him. 

He guided you through the main lounge of the restaurant and to the private rooms you’d booked. Most places had flashing lights, a horrifying mixture of green and red covering every surface to get in the spirit. However, you loved how this restaurant had decorated the places. The whole place was dimmed, so only the fairy lights by the curling and candles on the tables twinkled. Each table had its own bouquet with flowers you couldn’t name, some adorned with miniature ornaments and some with paper-crafted reindeers and bells. Dinner plates, champagne glasses, and table mats had little accents of red and green, nothing too daring. 

You supposed such simple elegance was expected of a high-end restaurant, but that also meant their clientele was of a different calibre too. Most of those at the tables were couples in expensive clothes and greying hair. Some seemed younger, but even they held an air of authority that you doubted you held as you trudged your way through the place. 

Not that it mattered though. The waiter introduced the pair of you to your room and informed you how you could ring for help before closing the door behind him. With just you and Tzuyu in the room, you made yourselves comfortable. 

Tzuyu pulled up the menu while you shrugged off your coat and hung it over your chair. “Are you sure we’re in the right place?” she asked before turning the menu and showing off the price of the dishes. 

“Well, seeing as my name was on their list and they haven’t kicked us out. I think, yes,” you replied and picked up a menu for yourself. “Order anything. Whatever you want.”

You said a bit more genuinely than the last few times you did. 

“Are you sure?” Tzuyu asked, still scrutinizing the prices. 

“Of course,” you nodded, scanning for a dish that was worth the price. “My treat, remember.”

Tzuyu’s (and your own, really) inhibitions about the price had disappeared once you had your first bite. The food was absolutely divine. The pair of you had ordered two different dishes and then swapped halfway through, and then ordered one more dish and a dessert to end it with. 

Tzuyu was scraping the bottom of her bowl when you asked her. “What do you think about marriage?”

The scraping stopped. 

You’d have laughed at the little smudge of chocolate by her lip if her eyes weren’t so wide. 

“Like, you mean, us?” she asked slowly. 

A small chuckle escaped you as you moved the ice cream around in your own bowl. “No, like, in general.” 

“Is this about Sana?”

That was the name of the second person in Tzuyu’s ginormous friend group who had gotten married over the summer. You never really knew the woman personally, or any of her friends really, but you’d heard enough about them and visited two weddings to know what they were like. And especially how much they mattered to Tzuyu. 

“Sure, I guess,” you shrugged and Tzuyu returned to her dessert, although much slower this time around. “I don’t know, it just feels so daunting, you know?”

Tzuyu waited in silence. 

With a sigh, you continued. “They’re so young and they got married,” you admitted. 

It wasn’t just Tzuyu’s friends. You’ve heard stories within your own lectures, of people discussing marriage plans and getting engaged and dream weddings. And if not that, they were settling down, in relationships that seemed to promise security more than momentary pleasure. You’re not one to give that sort of thing too much thought, but you’d be a liar if you said you’ve never thought about it. 

Tzuyu studied her bowl, apparently, there was still quite a bit of dessert left. “They know what they want…” 

That was a simple enough answer. 

Did you know what you want?

Your hand stopped spinning your spoon around as you studied Tzuyu. 

Bells. That’s what you heard when you looked at her. Not like the deafening sirens you set as your morning alarm or the jingles you’ve been hearing all day. A soft melody filled with dulcet notes, building as your heart rate increased. It must be a sound you’ve heard before if your mind can come up with it… right? But you just couldn’t place the sound, it didn’t sound like any song you’d heard and if it was, you wouldn't recognize it. 

You heard it every time you glanced at her, it arose in the strangest of moments. The pair of you had just pulled an all-nighter, the sky was losing darkness and turning into a dreamy blue, and when you turned to Tzuyu, you found her face pressed onto her textbook. She was out cold, the right side of her face completely smashed and her mouth hanging open as she slept. You had to clasp a hand over your mouth from laughing at yourself and waking her up. 

And then you heard it when she first made instant noodles her way for you and added a concerning amount of cheeses. Then, it was when she suggested visiting a new cafe in the city and you’d agreed without question. Or when she’d bought you a random trinket from a street vendor solely because it had reminded her of you. So many trivial moments, filled with a soundtrack of your own making for your very own love story. 

Because it was one. There were no two ways about it. 

People often say falling in love is magical, perhaps that holds some truth to it. The fluttering in your stomach that you couldn’t differentiate from nervousness, the beating of your heart hammering away as if it were to burst, the shiver that runs up your neck, that same sense of suffocation you feel when you’re out of breath. How gooseflesh rises on your skin, but you feel so warm inside. And when you look at her, it's a sensation of relief that you feel. The tinge of positivity when she looks back at you, a twinkle in her eyes to let you know you weren’t the only one feeling this way. 

You wanted to ask her and you have asked her.

Were you supposed to do something right now? In the moment? What would happen if we didn’t address it? How could we plan anything? How many times could we tell each other that it’s not fear? That we’re not scared? You’re not scared? But you are, you really are. It was overwhelming. 

Are we falling behind?

She’d always denied it. 

And she was right, of course. 

But it didn’t always feel like it. 

There were only a handful of people you considered true friends from your university. Not because they’d done anything to you or whatever, some people just click and stick with you forever and some don’t. It was simple. It was normal. And the former was true of Tzuyu. 

It was so true, sometimes it brought tears to your eyes when you thought about it in the middle of the night. It really is so overwhelming just how much you felt for her. Perhaps this was love, or it was something else, you’ve never felt at this intensity before. You really couldn’t name it. And that might sound strange but it was true, nothing could really encompass what you felt, or heard even, when you looked at her. 

“What are you looking at?” Tzuyu’s voice broke you from your reverie. 

Your mouth made the shape to enunciate the word. 

“And don’t say, you,” Tzuyu groaned as she pushed her bowl away, she’d finished her treat. 

She knew your tricks all too well. You’ll need to change it up. 

“Don’t freak, but there’s a bug on your—”

“What?” Tzuyu freaked out. “Where? Where is it? Tell me!”

Freezing up, all she could do was glare when you just chuckled. “I was wondering if I should just slap you to hit it,” Tzuyu’s eyes widened and you couldn’t help your laughter. “Or just leave you at its mercy and run, I didn’t want its attention on me–”

“Just get it off!” 

“–but you know, sudden movements and things. I can’t die, I have too much to live for—” she shrieked your name, pleading as her hands gripped the table. “Okay, okay, come here.”

Gesturing for her to move forward, you leaned over the table to wipe away the smudge of ice cream by the corner of her lips. The smudge was long gone, so she should have guessed so was the 'bug' but you just held her chin. You, watching her. And her, watching you. 

Having lingered long enough, you pulled your hand back with a smile. 

“Thanks,” she mumbled after clearing her throat. 

You just nodded before showing her your bowl of melted ice cream. “Do you want to finish this off too?”

“Yes, please,” she said, “but I also have something for you.”

You tilted your head in confusion, every single plate on her side of the table had been wiped clean. What did she have to give you? 

You were just about to voice those words when she pulled out a small package from underneath the table. A gasp had barely left your lips when she spoke.

“It’s not a ring.”

“I’m heartbroken.”

“I’m sure you are,” Tzuyu placed the package next to your bowl and took the ice cream. “Open it.”

Following orders, you opened the package and you started second-guessing her claim of this not being a marriage proposal. Of course, you knew it wouldn’t be, you’d talked about as much. But you guessed somewhere you’d like to hear such news. 

You sent her a glance when you felt the velvet inning of the box, though she just shook her head. 

What was in there, when you opened the box, was a necklace. 

A loud snort escaped you that you had to clasp a hand over your mouth. 

When you looked up, Tzuyu was shovelling ice cream into her mouth but still grinning. She was doing anything to avoid looking at you. 

The necklace barely matched its packaging. The first thing that caught your attention was an amulet, it was discolored and its design eroded, by wear that you could barely make out what it used to be. But you knew. And you remembered.

Four years ago, during some university-wide event, the amulet had caught your attention on some stall. But at the same time you’d reached for it, so had Tzuyu. The bells. That’s where you could track them back to. Some busking artist that had been performing at the time, providing a melody that you’d come to associate with Tzuyu herself and the love you have for her. 

Tzuyu had been very adamant about having the amulet, and you, well you couldn’t care less. So you’d said the opposite and asked her to buy you the very expensive, very sugary, glazed doughnuts from the foodtruck down the line. And she’s just said yes. 

And then you talked. You exchanged your numbers. And the rest well, was history. 

Tzuyu never came around to wearing the amulet, and one night she admitted that she only bought it for its aesthetics, but could never find a moment to properly wear it. And if she did, she found herself wrapping it around her wrist so she could play with it when class was boring. The same night you admitted you just used the necklace to get yourself free doughnuts. From then on, she made it very obvious to wear it whenever you were around.

And now, it has returned to you. Having lost all of its aesthetic appeal. 

“Oh this, this is priceless,” you said, giggling and tugging it from the box, already putting it on. “Thank you.” 

“I thought you’d like it,” she said, finishing the last of your ice cream. “Now, where’s my present?” 

You know she was asking to be cheeky, but you still entertained her. “Oh, like the whole day I planned and spent with my hard-earned money wasn’t a present?”

The train ride back was longer than you’d expected, but it gave Tzuyu some time to nap. Once again, you were connected by your hands and her earphones, as she lay her head on your shoulder. 

Seeing as how late it was, buses would take longer to make their last rounds. Which is why you left Tzuyu at the bus stop, so you could quickly rush to the general store behind it and get some more snacks. Hot chocolate seemed like the right choice at a time like this, the perfect ending to the day. The scene would be magical, being seated together at a bus stop, illuminated by a warm lamppost, surrounded by flecks of snow as you sipped on hot chocolate. But also, you were craving more ice cream. Dealing with a cold will be your future you’s problem. 

So you grabbed two cones and a hand warmer and swiped your card. 

The streets seemed empty, even though it wasn’t even that late. Well… by a student’s standard, it wasn’t that late, seeing as it was nearing eleven in the evening, perhaps it was late. 

“I got our snacks,” you said, holding up a cone in each hand. Tzuyu just chuckled as she took one from your hand. She struggled for a moment to peel off the wrapping with her gloved hands, but when she did, she bit a large chunk of the ice cream, and you just gawked in awe. 

The bus had arrived by the time you finished the cones. Just as your stop arrived, Tzuyu’s music stopped. Someone was calling her. 

“What time is it?” she asked, pulling out her phone, you missed the caller’s name. 

“Like, almost midnight,” you said, getting up and guiding her out as she answered the call. 

“They’re an hour early—”

“Tzuyu-ah!” Sana’s voice shrieked into your earphones, you had to pull it out. You thanked the bus driver and wished him a good night, ignoring the way he squinted at you. 

“Do you still want to go—” Tzuyu just threw a thumbs up as she matched Sana’s voice in greeting. 

Letting her catch up with her friend, you guided her to the park you often visited, usually near midnight like tonight, and always at the children’s playground to the small swing set. 

When you helped Tzuyu into her seat, so engrossed in the call, she started taking the seat as soon as the swing hit the back of her legs, she'd have landed flat on her back had you not helped her into the seat. 

“It’s nice to see you again,” you looked up to see Sana’s son wave at you. 

“Oh, oh, hey, kid,” Tzuyu sent you a look over her shoulder as you made sure she was not going to slip off the seat. “It’s good to see you again! How’re you doing, kid?” 

“I’m good, how are you?” he asked, and you parrotted the same answer, a little breathy from slouching over. 

“Sit down, will you?” Tzuyu pretended to groan, pushing your face away from her shoulder. 

The seat was made for children, so it was very very low to the ground and tiny. You had to balance yourself on your things to not flip over the seat, a moment's distraction and you could be swinging from your knees. Holding on to the chains, you pushed yourself close to Tzuyu so your face was on camera again. 

“No, seriously, how are you?” you asked again to get past the surface-level answers. “What have you been up to?”

With a wide grin, he started speaking about a recipe he had just mastered and while he did more of Tzuyu’s friends joined. Most of which you were familiar with now, having met them at two weddings and conversed with some over calls. Though you were most glad to see Sana’s son again. You’d only met him face to face once. It was at Sana's wedding during the summer. Both you and Tzuyu had been taken with him when you first met him last Christmas. Tzuyu had taken you back home with her last year, and you finally got to meet her beloved dogs, and so had Sana’s son. He’d remembered to even ask about Tzuyu’s dogs during the wedding, you spent the better part of the event showing him the videos you had. 

Ever since you’d gotten him a gift, he’d grown quite fond of you both. Now usually, it was tradition to get gifts mostly for those to be wed, but you and Tzuyu had instead decided to gift their son. You’d heard how much he loved the Percy Jackson books much like you had, so you decided to buy him the Kane Chronicles. thankfully he hadn’t read or gotten them yet. Besides, seeing as both you and Tzuyu were neck deep in student debt and as broke as they come, you weren’t really in a place to buy the newlyweds a washing machine. 

Tzuyu waved to others, while you kept him talking. “Have you read the Kane Chronicles yet?” 

The boy had an affinity to reread the same book over and over again, even if he wasn’t completed with a series. At the wedding, he’d been attached at the hip to the Son of Neptune, which was understandable. But also, the next two books are easily the best of the series. 

“I did start them!” he said, eagerly leaning away from the camera before bringing the second book in with him. “I really like it,” he said, flipping through some pages and turning the book to show it. You didn’t have the heart to tell him it was too blurry to see anything but a blank white page. “But it’s not as fun as you said it would be, I still like Percy Jackson better than this series.” 

Oh.

Now, you’re at a stage in your life where you didn’t go around picking fights with children, though you will say it was a difficult urge to ignore. But something about appreciating children having different opinions from you or whatever. 

“Um, yeah, no, I—”

“Please, don’t pick a fight with a child,” Tzuyu said with a groan and the call erupted with a cacophony of laughter. You’d missed when everyone had joined. You had been hogging the call. 

“I wasn’t going to! The kid had the right to his own opinions,” you said, looking scandalized but then mumbled under your breath. “Even if it’s wrong.”

Tzuyu shoved you with a smile and you let the swing take its original spot. With a smile of your own, you let Tzuyu catch up with her friends, only waving and greeting people when she turned the phone to face you. After some wishes of Merry Christmas and farewells, the phone call had been cut. With every passing year, it was harder to meet, even during holidays when everyone was supposed to be free. In-person meetings seemed like a faraway dream, and planning a call seemed just as hectic, but somehow Tzuyu’s friends found a way. But you know Tzuyu ached to meet her friends again, some time where it wasn't a life-changing event that brought them together or where disaster didn’t strike. Just to be with them for a moment. 

You hadn’t even realized you were pushing yourself towards her, let alone kissing her on the cheek. Only when your swing recoiled back to her place and Tzuyu let out a small noise in question, did you realize what you’d done. 

“What was that for?” Tzuyu asked, her hand caressing the place where you’d kissed her. 

“I don’t know actually,” you said wistfully. “Just because.” 

Tzuyu hummed in acknowledgement as blush coloured her cheeks. You thought maybe she’d chastise you, even as a joke. But then, she did something shocking. 

Her hand pulled on your swing chain and pulled you close. 

It wasn’t the smoothest kiss. Your noses bumped into each other and the angle was wrong, but none of it really mattered because soon both your hands went to hold her as close as possible. She giggled into the kiss, no doubt, shyness creeping in as she comprehended what she’d just done. 

If it were up to you, maybe you would’ve stayed there until sunrise. 

Unfortunately, your leg, which was strained to hold you in place, slipped just as Tzuyu gently pushed you away. While you swung sideways, Tzuyu hid her face in her hands. 

A giggle from her earned from you. And before you knew it, the pair of you were laughing, hunched over and swinging lightly. 

Many things are changing, but your days will be all the same. Especially with Tzuyu by your side. And she wasn’t leaving your side any time soon.

any feedback is much appreciated.

a/n: people really need to read kane chronicles, its literally perfect but yeah, hope you enjoyed this ! again happy new year !!

tagging: @someone-who-likes-broccoli

[frownyalfred]

Hello! A random and specific question has occurred to me, and I think you might have some thoughts, if you're ok with answering!

So, most of the time Judaism is passed down matrilineally. I know there are some exceptions, and some groups that believe Judaism can be passed down through either parent, but generally it's just through the mother. This is how dc accidentally made Bruce Jewish.

However, is it the birthing parent who makes a child Jewish? Or is it strictly the mother, regardless of if she gives birth to the child or not?

I know that sounds like I'm asking about trans Jewish people, but I'm actually curious how this would play out in a world where mpreg is normalized, like in an abo alternate universe. For instance, if Bruce is Jewish and gets pregnant as an omega, would his kids also be Jewish? I did look up perspectives on trans Jewish people having kids, and unsurprisingly views are divided but it seemed like people mostly consider the birthing parent being important, i.e. a trans Jewish man would have Jewish children regardless of the other parent. What are your thoughts on this, if you're open to sharing?

(This ask got longer than I meant, sorry I wrote you a whole essay lol. Also I really hope this doesn't come across as rude, and I sincerely apologize if it does. Tone is difficult on the internet!)

Oh, that's a very very interesting question. Another one I'd like to ask my rabbi if I ever work up the nerve.

I'm no scholar, so if someone else wants to correct me on this one, feel free. But here's my best guess:

The gist of matrilineal descent is that it emerged from a time when the only way you could guarantee that a child was Jewish was to witness the birth from a Jewish mother. Rape, missing fathers, etc all made it a grey area, and back then, it was the only way to be "sure" that a child was halachically Jewish.

The interesting thing is, this was a change from patrilineal descent, but people still argue about when that change happened. Depending on the denomination, matrilineal descent is very very important beyond just determining Judaism, or it's a vestigial practice that has stuck around because it's, well, tradition.

Now, origin and existence are two different things. While it might have emerged for certain reasons, modern standards have obviously changed. We can do DNA tests and other rituals. But a lot of major denominations will turn away patrilineal Jews or hold those with Jewish DNA at arm's length until their Jewishness has been determined. That's only changed recently, and even then very slowly.

So, now that that's out of the way -- how does this relate to omegaverse? I suppose carriers in a/b/o universes would be considered de facto mothers, because they give birth. From my (limited) understanding, the core of most strict matrilineal arguments are 1) we've always done it this way post reception of the Torah 2) it was the only way to ensure someone was Jewish and 3) there are inherent attributes to mothers/the feminine that Rabbis argue are metaphysical and important to consider.

But it depends on how you write omegas. Are they defined by their ability to birth? Are they dual sex or single sex? Do they have the ability to sire offspring in addition to carrying them? Do they serve a "motherly" role in addition to giving birth? All things to consider.

Me personally, I'm a big proponent of accepting all Jews as they are, as long as they're not proselytizing or cosplaying as Jewish from another religion. It's a closed practice but we're also dwindling in number, so turning away people because their father was Jewish and not their mother is bizarre to me. Especially if they were raised in the religion -- at that point it's a technicality, but many rabbis will still make you go through a conversion which is wild to me.

I would throw out there, for the sake of omegaverse -- if the carrier is Jewish, generally, in most cases, the pups are Jewish. That makes sense to me.

[floppydiskettess]

Hello! I was wondering if you could do headcanons for the valorant agents: Gekko, Neon, Yoru, Phoenix with sova and chamber or whoever you feel with an s/o that when they’re in danger is able to kill whatever or whoever’s endangering them wether it’s like 15+ people or so (like Millie with moxie from helluva boss)

hi anon! tysm for the request!!!! this was a blast to write ahhh!!! :D (also i love helluva boss omg)

but i hope i wrote this right!!!

Gekko

the two of you were on a mission at bind, it was simple. you go difuse the spike while he was assigned to watch your back.

he had to walk a few feet away to pick up wingman for five minutes, you would be fine right?

once he picked up wingman, he heard a loud bang behind him and a loud celebratory woop

"oh fuck."

he turned around and saw the familar wild colours from raze's showstopper.

"no no no! shit you good?" he called through the smoke

he hated the silence he recieved back. as the smoke cleared he saw your paint covered and burnt body.

"...cariño?...shit, wingman, go get the others. i got these guys."

he pulled out his customized spectre as he prepared to fight. he detained as many as he could before swiftly wiping them out one by one.

when the team arrived with wingman, sage quickly rushed to your side to aid you.

once he finished taking care of the enemies, he ran to your side

"i am so sorry...i thought i could go grab wingman but you got hurt...i am really sorry.."

Neon

a/n: this is small bc i wrote a whole ass essay for neon and it deleted....im so mad...im just trying to summarize it

"HOY! IM PISSED."

that was the last thing before you felt a sharp pain in your stomach as your vision went black.

you don't know what happened, but somehow yoru had gotten behind you. it was supposed to be a quick and simple mission. neon took A-site and you took B-site. unfortunately, right when neon approached B-site to check on you. she saw it.

red. the snow was covered in a beautiful shade of red. and it wasn't from your attacked. neon could feel electricity enter her fingertips as she lost control of her abilities.

you felt neon carrying you before falling uncomcious.

neon carried you to the jet and brought you to sage.

"im sorry...when i saw them like that i just...lost control of my abilities.."

"its ok, you did it to protect them. you saved them."

Phoenix

he was just returning from his "run it back" when he opened his eyes to see the enemy phoenix staring back at him, aiming his ghost at his own forehead.

he went to grab for his ghost but he found an empty holster.

"ah shit."

"you really thought i wouldn't just take your weapon? i'm not as foolish as you are."

phoenix braced for impact as he heard the gun fire, but the shot never came. he nervously opened his eyes to see you standing infront of him, a gunshot hole through your shoulder as you pushed the enemy phoenix away.

"dear?! what the-"

he watched as your limp body falls to the ground, feeling worry and rage overtake him.

"oh fam...your gonna regret that." he says to the opposite phoenix as the rest of his team approaches for backup.

when skye arrived at the site to treat you, she did not expect to see 5 charred bodies sprawled across the ground.

"mate...what happened?!"

"they ambushed us. (name) saved me cause i made a dumb mistake. go heal them, i am fine." he said with a dark tone to his voice

when skye healed you and you awoke, you were immediately greeted to the smell of burning. you turned your head towards phoenix as you saw him crouch beside you.

"thank god...why would you do that?! i'm sorry if i had checked my surroundings better you would have-" he rambles

you cut him off with a kiss as you feel his tired body begin to relax.

"no. i should have thought of a better plan. i am sorry i worried you."

for the next few days of your recovery, he will be by your side assisting you with anything you need. both of you content to try and ignore what happened that day.

Yoru

prior to meeting you, he was an extremely anger filled person. he still gets angry easy, but not as badly as before. you taught him how to control his emotions

but if he were to see you ganged up on in a mission, he would just lose control.

he was over at A-site at haven preparing to extract the radianite, before hearing your frantic voice shout through the comms for backup.

his heart dropped, he realized why his site was so empty along with the others. they had five-stacked onto one site. you had gone to C-site all alone. shit.

he immediately threw the spike towards Astra who had accompanied him to the A.

"stay here. i will go provide backup."

"alone? alright...stay safe."

he quickly teleported to your C-site to be met with a shocking sight. your battered and blood covered body lying down on the rough ground. burns and scratches littered your arms and legs. phoenix..

he looked up from your body to see the enemy phoenix, jett, chamber, astra, and skye staring at him with bloodthirsty gazes. they had teamed up on you because you were alone... how fucking sick could they be to attack a helpless sentienel.

he felt himself snap as he caught the enemy phoenix's cocky smirk. the cunt was proud of what he did.

when you regain conciousness, you are lying on the ground surrounded by the shredded corpses of the omega agents, a stained red yoru standing above them with his famous butterfly comb stained.

"...ryo?"

he turns around and immediately runs to your side.

"shit...thank god you are awake. don't move. help is coming ok?" he softly whispers while carressing your blood matted hair.

"are they...?"

"don't worry about them, you are safe now darling..."

when you make it back to base, you find out he took them all down on his own. when astra arrived at the site she had to practically tear yoru off of where he was mauling the corpses of the omega agents bodies.

he was ordered to talk to sage about his anger, but he never regretted what he did. he did it to save you and all that mattered was he had you back with him.

Cypher

he is used to killing to protect those he loves, this is nothing new to him.

he might be a cold killer, but you always knew he would never hurt you.

if someone was threatening you, he would keep them away using blackmail, but if it was more serious, he was prepared.

he sat waiting at the doors for the agents who had gone on your mission to come back. he was ready to greet you but he never thought he would have seen KA/YO holding you slung over his shoulder covered in blood.

he immediately freezes as he watches KA/YO rush to Sage's office. but he quickly recovers and follows quickly behind silently.

when sage caught sight of your body, she grimaced knowing it was bad. she ordered everyone out and allowed her space to work.

cypher was left with no answers as to what happened, as he sat anxiously outside Sage's office he hears KA/YO's robotic voice informing Viper of what happened.

"they went to go flank A alone, but their cypher must have seen her coming. when we arrived at A-site they were gone with the spike, they must have ambushed y/n and left her there for us to find...it was..bad. skye was able to help a little bit but...when we got there, they were missing their hand. im pretty sure they were awake when they did it."

"bastards..."

cypher could feel his blood BOILING. it was one thing to knock someone out, it was another to mutilate someone while they were awake. that wasn't fighting, that was mere torture.

he knew in this job people would get hurt. but he never thought they would ever go this far.

he was greatful you had lived, but he felt a burning feeling in his body.

as viper walked by, she stoped and turned to simply say.

"i know she was special to you Cypher, but don't do anything stupid. we don't need two people to revive."

he stood in place before walking to his room, he would make sure they couldn't hurt you. EVER again.

at the peak of night, he slipped out of his room and headed towards the armoury. he grabbed a ghost and a phantom before quietly walking towards the loading dock. he would make them regret ever hurting you.

.......

in the morning, you were awoken to a tired looking sage.

"welcome back my child. you sure gave us a scare there. how do you feel?" she smiled wistfully

as she filled you in, you couldn't help but wonder where your partner was. typically he was by your bedside until you woke up.

"Ling...where is Cy?" you softly asked

she grinned at the nickname "don't worry, he is in brimstones office. your little boyfriend pulled a stunt to avenge you."

"oh god, is he ok? what did he do?" you sigh

"oh don't worry, he is fine! the agents who ambushed you on the other hand.."

you and sage converse for a while, before you see cypher nervously walk into the room

"my darling! how are you feeling? do you need anything?" he asks worriedly

"i feel good amir. don't worry. sage is taking good care of me!" you chuckle

he sighs in relief, he may have gotten a lecture (and maybe some cleaning duty...) but it was all worth it to see your face again.

☤ Sage ☤

full battle sage mode

she would grab an odin off her copies body and just start spraying.

"you will not kill my allies!"

the second the enemies were down, she rushes to your side to heal you.

she will work all night if she has to, as long as it brings you back to her

"please wake up dearest...i can't live without you."

sorry idk what to write for sage HELP

a/n: aaa tysm for the support on my last posts!! im so glad that people are enjoying these! :) im currently working on some other requests so stay tuned ^^!!

also i apologize for the delay!! i have kinda had a lack of motivation lately so i struggled to finish it...

[jennyfromthebes]

What other live alt lyrics do you like! I like the switch in pronouns for "you speak in smoke signals and I answer in code" even though its such a small thing

Ohhh that's such a good one. I am, similarly, really fond of negations and ifs to whens (as mentioned in my post lol) and tense changes. Some favorites right now, in no particular order:

Water Tower - "small hopes are seen to not be small ones" is always one of my very favorite alt lyrics. The negation changes the entire thing and it's so so good. this is a frequent line change, not always but at least half the time!

From The Nebraska Plant - "searching in the snow for someone in the distance" and "let the scavengers proclaim what its bones are worth". The change to someone makes the whole song more impactful, and "what its bones are worth" vs "how much it was worth" is something I forever have thoughts and feelings about. What its remains still are worth vs what it on the whole used to be worth...I could write an essay just about this one line change.

Only One Way - basically every live performance of this one has different lines (one time he joked "I hope someone is taping the night I finally get all the verses right", and to my knowledge it still hasn't happened), which I absolutely love, but a specific one I wrote down (from 2024-04-12) is "you're gonna learn to listen for the thunder / you're never gonna hear it in time". what a hell of a line oh my god.

No Children - "I hope you blink before I blink at you", which to my knowledge the only recording of that alt line is 2014-06-15, but that's been a favorite of mine for almost a year, and then at the Cleveland show in July he did that line again!

Alpha In Tauris - I know this line from 2014-04-20 but I know it's been done more than once; "yes I'm the model of composure out there / and I'm not even sorry later on!" With the original line being "but you oughta see me shaking later on", it's just a really really good contradiction/unreliable narrator moment and I love it.

I know there's more that I love but I haven't been listening to tapes as much lately so I'm blanking on more of the common alt lines. Thank you for asking this though!! I will come back and add more when I think of them!!!