#sorry if this is incoherent

[saywhatyouwillbut]

nora going from writing an ace-spec main to a (probably allosexual) bi main, and the difference is so chef's kiss. they're both disasters don't get me wrong, but jean having attraction in his inner monologue even with the trauma he's been through implies to me that neil's demisexuality has absolutely nothing to do with his trauma. hilarious in retrospect because, if i remember correctly, neil in his inner monologue basically blames his lack of sexual attraction on his mother's abuse the few times he kissed girls when he was on the run, but he doesn't have a single sexual thought until andrew lets him in on his feelings in book three,,, meanwhile jean's out here actively fighting his bisexuality like his life depends on it (he thinks it does) (he'll learn it doesn't eventually)

[madame-mongoose]

The thing that makes me the most sick about Fionna and Cake is that I KNOW Simon and Betty won't get their happily ever after. There is no good ending for those two. They are so doomed that it stretches across multiverses. The show is about growing and moving on and finding yourself despite your past. Everything stays, but it still changes. They aren't the same people anymore. They can't love the same anymore. It makes me sick

[the-crimson]

I am just - I am in love with the misdirect of Acceptance on Bad’s stream. Going into it we were all wondering if he was gonna accept the marriage proposal, that the eggs were gone for good, the he would take the happy pills… but no.

(About the character not the cc obviously :D)

Bad has been so incredibly restrained his entire life on the qsmp. Even in his moments of pure calculated rage he restrained his cruelty. He jokes about torturing and murdering people but he’s only gone through with it twice and neither were fueled by cruelty but pure practicality.

When torturing Foolish, he just wanted answers and he knew Foolish well enough that it wouldn’t actually effect him long term. When killing ElQuackity, he and Max were not frivolous but wanted to kill him as quickly as possible. It was practical and for the greater good, not personal pleasure.

Bad is cruel. He knows the depths of his cruelty so intimately that it terrifies him. He has to keep himself on such a tight leash that any slip could be devastating and irreversible.

We saw a glimpse of it when Bad blew up Quackity’s temple. The pleasure of seeing someone in pain. The pleasure of hearing the fear in their voice. The high of making someone else feel helpless.

Today, Bad accepted that in order to find his children and nieces/nephews he has to embrace a part of himself he’s been suppressing for so long. He accepted that he’d have to revert to a version of himself that would terrify his children and the other eggs and probably make some of them hate him.

Torturing an innocent - probably indentured - worker for information they would have no way of knowing.

Bad is embracing a part of himself that he had locked away so far down inside him that most people would never imagine he’d be capable of such a thing but as Bad walks erratically through his house, slowly lighting up the room as the worker stands there trapped and terrified. There is a deliberateness to the way he uses soul torches, a weak light source, to slowly light up the room before stepping into darkness again, placing the last torch at his feet to illuminate himself from below. The cold determination in his voice. Still restrained. Still calculated. But oh so much darker and you can feel the cruelty he is about to unleash oozing out of every word as he speaks

“Let’s try again. Where is my son?”

[frownyalfred]

“I forgot how good it felt to be held by you” is another peak potential Injustice Superbat line. Bruce and Clark somehow embracing in the midst of all the fighting, a hidden moment where they can stop pretending for just a handful of seconds.

[paracosmicparadox]

Can we talk about Andrew Minyard for a second? Specifically the way he talks? I loved Andrew's character for a lot of reasons, but his wit has definitely got to be the primary aspect of his personality that got me hooked in book one. I know that his clever turns of phrase and out-of-pocket references can be partially attributed to his eidetic memory and instant-recall, but the fact that his personality is also just Like That is amazing. As someone who nerds out over interesting vocabulary and witticisms (my friends tell me I talk like a skater boy who swallowed a dictionary), I very quickly grew attached to him?? His story makes me so emotional, book two Messed Me UP, and I swear I would fight for this man tooth and nail in just about any situation if it meant sparing him some of the shit he goes through. Like, he's brilliant, he's witty, he cares so much, and he deserved so much better than the shitty lot he drew in life. I acknowledge that he has his flaws, but y'all I will talk about him for hours if you let me.

[warmficsforyou]

I feel like hawks is most definitely playful (at times) ESPECIALLY with you so here's like a little fanfic thing about it (I wrote this in gym class)

You had expected to see your boyfriend he'd told you day prior that he'd be taking his lunch with you today which is very special because he's usually too busy to even leave work for lunch having to order in most days

Maybe he was lying but–you swore you heard the door open brow furrowed you peak your head into the living room curious softly cooing out puzzled"Kei—" you yelp before the words can escape your throat being hoisted over your boyfriends back blood rushing to your head your only view being his jacket you let out a gasp but your not surprised at his playful antics that all to familiar smug grin on his lips making your heart sting almost enough to make you let it go and not scold him..you do though or try atleast "Keigo! put me down what are you doing?" You pout and before you can scold him anymore or even finish speaking he chuckles quietly a low happy sound wrapping his hands around your waist pulling you down and into a tight hug spinning you in the spot you stood making you suppress a soft giggle head feeling dizzy you sigh because how can you stay mad? Stay mad at that petty grin of his? Of the fond look in his eyes as he teases you? How can you stay mad when his hands slip under your shirt lovingly grabbing at your hips rubbing your skin and how can you stay mad when his lips his soft lips are up against yours as if it's the only thing you both need as if your the oxygen he needs to breathe how can you ever be mad when he loves you so wonderfully

You love him

Love him regardless of his teasing and playfulness because he's so incredibly intoxicatingly sweet to you

You need eachother

[nose-coffee]

okay, everyone's being really vague on my timeline discrepancy post from earlier, and idk if anyone else has made a post/theory abt this, but i also don't care. i'm gonna rehash this, mostly for my own benefit, but everyone is welcome to also come have a look and tell me if i'm missing smth. this post does contain spoilers for htn, so reader's discretion.

so, timeline clarifiers, per htn subheadings. let's start easy. this is the earliest date given in htn in its entirety:

parados (act 1) is the chapter where Harrow talks to Ortus in River bubble Drearburh. it's the second (chronological, not linear) chapter we read in the book at all. it's set 13-12 weeks prior to leaving for Canaan House, per gtn timeline details. it is the first time Gideon's name is explicitly redacted (or as i like to call it, Ortuscorrected).

if we ignore the (upcoming) discrepancy's date, the next earliest subheading date following parados's is, conveniently:

epiparodos (act 5) is the chapter immediately preceding/following Harrow's lobotomy, as told from Ianthe's perspective. while the setting is not explicitly stated, per Harrow's narration from chapter 45 (act 5) and the Upon Coherence letter in chapter 4 (act 1), we can glean that Harrow lobotomised herself 3-4 days following Gideon's death on the First House, which would mean they are still on the Erebos (and would argue that the Heir's stay at Canaan House lasted roughly three weeks to a month before Cytherea was killed).

the next (linear) date subheading:

chapter 1 (act 1), nine months. in this chapter, Harrow is stated to be on the Erebos, in a hospital wing. she has been given Gideon's longsword and is battling the awful psychic powers Wake's revenant (inside the longsword) is using on her, likely as an attempt to kill her so she can follow the thanergetic link into Harrow's body and use it for her own means (killing John) (this is mostly conjecture, but i see no other reason for the sword to have this effect on her, bar her lobotomy sparking a vomiting response as opposed to an intercranial hemmorhage response to the memory of Gideon). in the few chapters following this, Harrow is told about Resurrection Beasts, hears the Body speak to her for the first time in eight (estimate) years, recieves the Upon Coherence letter from Ianthe, and is nearly smothered in her sleep (or so it seems). at this point in the narrative, the only OG lyctor she's met is Cytherea, who is dead. she meets Mercymorn as she's being rolled onto a shuttle bound for the Mithraeum. it is only once on the Mithraeum that she meets Augustine and G1deon. during G1deon's entrance, he informs them bluntly that Resurrection Beast #7 is "just under ten months" away.

the next subheading is both chronological and linear, even though the exact placement in the timeline is somewhat unclear:

chapter 12 (act 2), six months. at this point, Harrow, Ianthe, and John have been on the Mithraeum for an unspecified amount of time. Harrow has killed twelve planets. she and Ianthe have been being tutored by Augustine in swordsmanship and understanding the river. in chapter 13 (act 2) Ianthe makes a crack about Harrow making it to her room from the docking bay without being assassinated. Harrow spends the next four chapters giving basic biographies for Mercymorn, Augustine, and Ianthe, as well as speaking with the Body, and revealing the truth of her conception to John.

now comes the discrepancy. the next timeline clarifier, per chapter subheading, is chronological, but oddly not linear:

chapter 19 (act 2), ten months. TEN.

this would place chapter 19 (act 2) prior to Harrow's lobotomy (nine months and twenty-nine days before; per epiparodos, act 5), which doesn't make any sense, because chapter 19 is the chapter where G1deon's first attempt on Harrow's life is recounted. he attacks her in the kitchen on the Mithraeum, quite clearly stated to be only a few days after she arrived on board, and she only narrowly survives the attack because Mercymorn intervenes, to her apparent disgust.

now, could it be that the attack in the kitchen is not explicitly specified to be the initial attack in question? could it be a sleight of hand on Muir's part to say that the first atatck came before Harrow even arrived on board teh Mithraeum, and then recount a completely different one? could the first attempt on Harrow's life actually be the attempted suffocation on the Erebos from chapter 4 (act 1)? i don't believe so. the suffocation is a bookend to the Upon Coherence letter scene with Ianthe, and there isn't even any scene break in the chapter to indicate shifting time between Ianthe's exit and Harrow's subsequent discovery of the fingernails she embedded in the wall in her attempt to defend herself against her attacker, mid-suffocation.

every other timeline clarifier in htn (of which there are nine remaining) makes sense and follows the narrative both chronologically and linearly - apart from the subheading of chapter 45 (act 5):

chapter 45 (act 5) is the River bubble scene where Harrow and Ortus rehash their guilt to each other, and Abigail announces her intention to exorcise Wake's revenant from the bubble. the subheading is vague where no other heading has been, stating only "an amount of time", despite the chapter preceding this one linearly (chapter 43, act 5) having this subheading:

logically, there should be very little time passing between the scene where Harrow comes to fully inside the bubble and sees it for what it is, and reuniting with Ortus properly. the only connection I can see between chapter 19 and chapter 45's discrepancie's is that both chapters make use of the Second House crest, 19's in reference to G1deon being the one to attack Harrow, and 45's no doubt being in reference to Harrow's realisation of G1deon's real name and the as yet unconfirmed connection he has to Gideon herself.

so, what's the fucking deal then? is it a woeful editing mistake? is it a cipher of some kind? is it a product of Harrow's canonical schizophrenia? I certainly don't know, but it's bothering me so much, and I just had to make sure I wasn't making it up in my head. anyway. woe, conspiracy theories on a book published three years ago that likely someone has already talked about be upon ye. whatever.

[houseswife]

wilson is like one of those bitches who puts nicotine patches on their partner in their sleep so that they’ll subconsciously crave their presence and associate their time together with the gratification of it. except instead of doing it sneakily, he openly (even reluctantly) exists as the main source of house’s vicodin prescriptions, not only providing him with the high but maintaining this pavlovian dynamic where he actively contributes to house’s pain relief & survival. he’s essentially his lifeline. and for the most part, he doesn’t even do it on purpose!!! because aside from the literal drug connection, that’s what his friendship is to house, too. what bonnie said about how wilson just tries to be a Good and Normal friend but ‘once you’re the subject of all that attention, it’s addictive’. in season 8, he says “I cannot be responsible for the happiness of gregory house.” and then has the audacity to look shocked when foreman replies, “You are responsible, though.” it’s like he’s painfully aware of their fucked up codependency but simply turns his face away from it. he’s even in denial until the very last moment, until it’s not only his upcoming death on the horizon, but the knowledge that they’re both free. I always found his smile after ‘I’m dead, wilson’ a little chilling. because it feels like he knows what that means — the larger, lethal implications of house disregarding any worry about his own future — and only then is he done fighting it.

[irlfelixcatton]

TALK ABOUT THE TRANSMASCULINE ALLEGORY!!! i want to hear your thoughts

ok. the long awaited oliver quick transmasculine allegory post.

to be so real it is mainly me doing 2 (two things)

-projecting

-using insanely obvious prompts from the text to pull shit out of my ass

i do think that oliver quick's character COULD. MAYBE. be either headcanon'd as trans (BOOORRRINNGG) or a lot of his actions in act one can be closely tied to very common trans experiences.

my biggest thing on 'common' trans experiences as it relates to saltburn, is meeting a cis man and latching onto him with every fiber of your being, because you can't be friends with him, you need to *be* him. the first thing that really prompted me to look at saltburn from this lense was when farleigh goes "[you're almost passing as] a real human boy!", though it's clearly about oliver wearing a rental suit, it's a phrase that i've heard a million times over and over again, and i think that oliver, within this transmaculine concept of his character, dances CONSTANTLY on this imaginary line of "real boy" to "weirdo freak" that i think a lot of trans people can relate to. (i will touch on 'real boy' again later)

theres also an aspect of this incessant watching and dissecting cis men, what they wear, how they talk, how they fuck. and with all of this watching, there's this part of melding your identity into what you're watching, which we see starkly with oliver. at the beginning, when he's this oxford kid, a freak if you will, but he's more or less himself, version A. once he meets felix, he ditches the glasses, the button up shirts, the uptight manner, and turns into this entirely different version of "himself", version B. version B is the version he's taught himself that society will like much more than version A, so it consumes him entirely. version A wasn't someone that girls would fuck, felix would love, and quite frankly be 'enjoyed' by the rest of the world. version A is pre-transition, and version B is post. (all this to say, in relation to irl transition, neither version A or version B are right, good, or bad, they're whatever you want them to be. beauty is in the eye of the beholder)

THIS PART IS JUST WORD VOMIT AND DOESN'T NECESSARILY PERTAIN TO MY POINT OF TRANSMASCULINE ALLEGORY. SCROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK.

for me, another piece i think about a lot is the “you’re just so real” (venetia) but that’s a bit more of a stretch. the reason i think this relates to the main point, is so many trans people have to work and rework their personality so that their 'transness' is socially palatable, real. the catton's have no general perception of a real person, they surround themselves with fake, upper class socialites who lie and cheat. but even if they met a real person, they wouldn't know it. and they don't lol. so when oliver comes around, who isn't this upper class socialite, the initial thought is that he's this "real" and "grounded" person. however, the only reason that the catton's (general society in this case) find oliver (trans people) so "real" and more or less worth accepting into their family is because he has worked and reworked his identity to be so similar and likeable to felix's.

there's also the conversation on cattonquick being a really good representation of what a mlm cis/trans relationship can feel like so much of the time. but i'll only really expand on this if any1 is interested lol. anyways pls dm me or comment on this i really want to talk more about it more.

[coeluvr]

(Genuine question and sorry for the word vomit in advance) the faq said that having a child consort in universe is considered not normal/acceptable. Will we get to see more people talking about that what luceris did was not okay? So far from the asks it seems like the in universe attitude is c'est la vie ish (or that it's secretly some weird adoption situation but idk my memory might not be right)? Like MC is a child married to an adult but things could be worse (like dying)? Idk if it's me missing some things but no one else seems to have a violent reaction except lancelot (maybe the council but that feels more like because luceris strongarmed them into doing what he wants)? Luceris also seems to have a decent enough popularity (enough to at least stabilize a whole other country), so does that mean people in universe are willing to accept him marrying a child if it meant food or better living conditons? Or just be okay with a child spouse?

Will there be more discussion within the story about the impropriety of Luceris' actions?

Yes.

Are the people in universe willing to accept him marrying a child if it meant food or better living conditons? Or just be okay with a child spouse?

Yes but only in this situation because MC's parents weren't the best rulers and with everything going on it almost felt like it was MC's price to pay since their family wronged both the public and Luceris and MC was the only one left alive.

I wouldn't say they (vesphirians) worship the ground Luceris walks on because he takes care of them better but it's like "yeah at least now we have this, poor kid but shit they have much more than us even after everything" because most people have so little (monetarily) that they automatically view the world in a materialistic way.

This kind of ties with that one post I made a few days ago in which it was basically saying how people fail to view that even if MC has "everything" they don't have what mattered to them.

Some do view it as an odd adoption scenario because it's clear to anyone who sees Luceris and MC that they don't actually have THAT type of relationship.

I think they just use that excuse when they run out of "reasons why this is fine" 😭 most people don't think it's fine or normal until someone questions it like "how come everyone accepted it so quickly for some bread and juice huh" then they feel the need to make it acceptable so they don't start feeling kind of bad.

[vldsideblog]

Thinking about Keith being a martyr again. Most of his life he relied completely on himself, and when he found people that cared about him he lost them. With Shiro he found a brother, but Shiro kept disappearing, and then he came back different. Almost like a different person.

Keith was alone in the Blade, he thought Voltron didn’t need him. And if no one needed him no one could possibly want him around. He’s a tool in his own mind. A defender, a fighter. He does what he needs to in order to keep the war efforts alive, and doesn’t regard himself as anything more than a piece on a chessboard.

So he risks his life when he doesn’t have to. He trains excessively. He doesn’t try to make friends, cause to him this isn’t something that’s going to last. If any of them survive he’s just going to go back to his shack, maybe spend some time with Shiro or Adam if they all live through this. But ultimately, Keith doesn’t think he’s going to survive the war, and he can’t think of a brighter future than dying on the battlefield.

Naxzela should’ve been a wake up call, something to remind him that he is still alive. But no one ever brought it up.

He’s been a martyr since the beginning. And I think about that a lot

[youwerebeautiful08]

the way i can picture the marauders dancing in the dorm to queen (don’t stop me now if you will). i’m talking breakfast club dancing. sirius and james would start it, bouncing around the beds, screaming the lyrics like the fanboys they are and peter would follow suit u already know. he’d pretend he wasn’t embarrassed and join in, and he’d realize he liked it. even if he did think it was a little odd, he was having fun with his friends!! who cares. remus would take persuading at first. he’d roll his eyes and pretend to be enveloped in his book but sirius and james would be all come on moony 🥺 the marauders need you 🥺 and he’d give in yk cuz who’s he to refuse his friend. remus would be awkward and tall and gangly but he’d end up killing that shit. they’d be all so happy together 😭😭😭😭 and they don’t even know what’s coming!!

[gayvampyr]

the fact that people think anxiety disorders and ADHD are being over-diagnosed and it should therefore be harder to meet diagnostic criteria and obtain accommodations despite the fact that the apparent “surge” in diagnoses is due to the fact that these disorders not only have more awareness but are becoming apparent as we look at how modern society affects the human psyche and how it functions in respect to a well-oiled capitalist machine is fucking insane to me

[existentialeggdogg]

ok so the new tmagp episode, huh?

i have been loving all of the theories about the fears being desires now, but what if they coeist? what if they've always coexisted?

i feel like in tma we saw the fear/victim's side of things for the majority of the podcast, but i feel like there were still moments where the fears actcted more like desires, especially with some avatar statements such as jane prentiss.

now in tmagp, we're mostly seeing the side of desire with hints towards fear, especially with episode 6. needles desires fear. and all the other statements so far have been mostly about the subject wanting something and something bad happening to them because of that but this statement was different and i think that's very interesting.

essentially, i think we're just seeing the other side of the story here, which is so cool if that's true!!

[exporius]

Favoritism and uncomfortable choices

Pt 1 of a moon x reader x sun

"So... who's your favorite?"

The question made you snap your head to look at moon, your brows furrowing as if you didn't hear him.

"What?" The blanket you were folding gets put down on your lap, forgotten as your focus shifts to the animatronic beside you. He doesnt respond for a second, doesnt even look at you as he stares into the blanket he himself was folding.

"Who's your favorite?" Moon asks again in a sterner tone, red pupils flashing up to look at you. "Sunny or me?"

"Oh!" Your posture straightens and your gaze on moon falters. "I dont have a favorite, yknow? I like you bo-"

"Both equally, i know." As he finishes your sentence, he goes back to folding, a frown on his plastic face, as if the answer he was given wasnt the one he wanted to hear.

This, obviously, doesn't make you feel happy. You always hated that question, always hated picking sides. Sun and moon had their own sets of ups and downs, but you've liked them equally, loved them even. Youd never say that part though.

A deep sigh escapes your lips and you turn your whole body to face moon, making him go rigid as he begins to regret breaking the silence in the first place.

"Who's your favorite?" Moon pauses, looking up at you as his faceplate tilts ever so slightly to the side. If it weren't for the loud metalic clicking and the glow of his eyes, you wouldn't have seen the action done in such darkness.

"What?" It was now his turn to be confused. "My favorite?"

"Yes, your favorite." A smile creeps upon your face and you finish folding the blanket before discarding it into the ever growing pile beside you and moon. "Sunny or me?" You echoed his previous queries, making him chuckle a little at how silly this all was.

"You." He grins as he answers bluntly, earning a flustered hesitance in your smile. The answer came so quickly you almost missed it.

"Me? Really?" Theres a look of disbelief on your face and moon takes it in like a reward, snickering at your confusion. "But you and sun have always been hip to hip. Lovers in arms or something like that." You earn another sharp snicker.

"Still, you're our-" moon pauses and looks away, the back of his faceplate facing you. "My favorite." He finishes, quieter, shyer. The sound of his internal cooling systems shifting to full power makes you smile as you too look away, giggling with a red face.

The both of you just sit there for a moment, marinating in the shared embarrassment as moon finishes folding the last of the blankets. Then, he turns to you, an unreadable smile that makes your skin crawl.

"You should decide soon," his voicebox rumbles out in an ominous tone, limbs clicking as he begins to stand up, taking all the folded blankets in his arms as he turns his back to you. "Sunny expects a real answer."

And with that, a long wire rope descends from the ceiling and attaches onto the metal hook on moons back. He glances back at you for a second with a smile, then gets lifted into the darkness above.

You sit on the foam floor of the daycare with an uncomfortable silence surrounding you, confusion stewing in your chest along with another feeling.

[lizzardson]

I've been thinking about the way robin hobb writes complex trauma and it's. I think so many authors focus more on the Thing That Happened. the Big Event that explains why the character is the way they are but with fitz especially she demonstrates so well that the Thing isn't nearly as important as the person it's happening to. the thing that makes fitz such a sad character isn't that bad things happen to him, it's that he never had the tools or the support system to be able to process it. it's not tragic because of The Events it's tragic because you see exactly how it affects fitz and how these things stay with him throughout his entire life. trauma compounds and the things he went through as a child become the things he tries to protect himself with as an adult. it's isolation and denial and not giving others the chance to hurt him and not giving himself the chance to hurt others. he's so viscerally human and with ever poor decision and every person he's hurt you get to see exactly what led up to him making those choices. there are no therapists in the six duchies