#and idk why I agreed to three nights like I easily could have come a day later or left early or something but it felt weird in the moment?

[weed-hotel]

staying in a hostel is the worst thing ever invented. actually

[decaflondonfog]

by wand or by knife

rated m (for a v short fade to black moment), <1k

[honestly idk i had this idea and i'm in the trenches due to a long fic that doesn't seem to want to end and this just happened! it's probably pure nonsense]

SIMON

When Baz asked me not to make any plans for today, I didn’t question it. There’s always something going on. A family dinner to celebrate a holiday I never even heard of, drinks with friends I forgot existed that he somehow keeps in touch with, sporting events I am pretty sure are made up until the moment we arrive. I never question it.

Baz could ask anything of me. I don’t know how to say no to him.

I wouldn’t want to, either.

BAZ

I have been doing weird things for Simon Snow for ages now. I’ve decided that at this point it would be weirder to stop.

The idea lodged itself into my brain last week. We were wrapped around each other like we always are: curled up on the sofa together like a creature that separates into two every morning but needs to return to its natural form at night to survive.

The film was rubbish, if you ask me. Simon would probably agree. But he’s easy to ready when it comes to mushy stuff. I always notice when his eyes get all bright and big like that.

I don’t know yet if I’m a grand gesture kind of guy, but I do care a whole lot about making him happy.

SIMON

There are scones for breakfast. When I ask where he got them, he avoids the question and starts talking about research with Penny. When I ask again, he tells me not to worry about it.

That’s not a very Baz thing to say. And they’re just scones. Nothing to be suspicious about, really. Except… they taste exactly like the ones back at Watford.

I put half a dozen away easily, and wash them down with tea he keeps refilling.

It’s a good morning.

BAZ

I tried to remember what I was wearing that day, but I can’t. It was winter, then, so it’s not like it matters, really. It’s too warm for jumpers.

Simon has told me before how much he likes the green shirt, so I go with that. This is not the kind of thing one dresses up for but I don’t know how to not make an effort.

SIMON

That fucking green shirt.

“Simon, come on, I wanna get going.”

I’ll get him going all right.

He’s got the top three buttons open. The green makes his eyes pop, his skin all lovely white marble, peppered with stark black hair. I want to lick all the way from his collarbone and down his sternum. I want to pop all the buttons off on that bloody shirt.

He wouldn’t forgive me for the latter, but I think I can get him on board with the former.

“Snow, for fuck’s sake, now?”

We’re always late when he wears that shirt. It’s not my fault.

“Si— oh, bloody hell, well, don’t stop now!”

Whatever it is we’re doing, we might be late.

BAZ

He’s a bloody demon.

I have to bribe him with food to get him in the car.

SIMON

He better not be joking about getting me more scones. 

BAZ

This is all a bit of a silly plan. I consider turning the car back and taking him out for lunch.

I don’t, for the sake of romance.

SIMON

He’s fidgety. The soft kind, not the nervous kind. I’ve learnt how to tell those apart. There’s definitely something fishy going on.

The music is on quietly, and the windows are down. His hair is up but little wisps of it escape the bobble, flying around his face. It makes me want to reach over and tuck it behind his ear. He fed just this morning, so it should pull a blush out of him, too. I like it when he blushes.

BAZ

“Wait, are we going to…” he trails off.

Finally. I figured he’d get it like twenty minutes ago.

SIMON

My heart is hammering against my ribcage. I check Baz’s trousers for the potential shape of a velvet box through the fabric of his pockets. Nothing, though. Not one thing. No ring.

Why else do people bring their significant others to the spot of their first kiss?

BAZ

“Come on, Snow,” I say, trying to sound more confident than I feel. 

SIMON

I find the place before he does. I didn’t think I’d remember it, but I do. I remember the flames, and the way his lips felt on mine. They feel just as good now, but it’s nice to be less confused about it. And less worried he’ll incinerate himself into a pile of ash, like an idiot.

BAZ

I pull my wand out of my pocket, and then his present. I pass it to him without a word.

SIMON

“I thought you said I was not allowed near knives,” I tell him.

I had a small accident in the kitchen, a few months back. I’ve not tried any knife tricks since then. I have no clue why he’s handing me a pocket knife now.

BAZ

“Come here,” I ask him. He does. I twist him around so he’s bracketed by my body, between the tree and I. “Step forward.”

“Is this a weird vampire thing? Wait, Baz, are you finally turning me?”

“Shut up, Snow.”

He’s still laughing, but it dies down when I mutter the spell and aim at the tree.

The carving is a little wonky, but I’d never used that spell before. His mouth is open and he looks vaguely like he may cry.

He traces the shapes with his fingers when I finish.

SIMON

S+B.

Baz is a romantic fool. I love him so much it hurts.

You’re ridiculous, I want to say. But I’m too scared I’ll cry if I open my mouth. 

“Your turn,” he whispers, kissing behind my ear.

BAZ

He carves the heart around the letters like it’s the easiest thing he’s ever done.

Perfect, magical, incredible Simon Snow. 

SIMON

“I love you,” he says.

And then he kisses me.

[obiwanobi]

Catch me thinking about sith Anakin who got in a fight w/ Palps (did Palps cross a line? Did Anakin decide he had nothing to lose? Idk), barely managed to win and is now seriously hurting and a little freaked out winding up outside Obi-wan's quarters and Obi-wan doesn't have time to draw his saber let alone figure out how a sith lord managed to get so far into the jedi temple unnoticed and Force is that blood? before Anakin's passing out with only a murmered request for help.

LISTEN you can’t keep sending me perfect prompts, how do you know I can’t resist bloody men on their knees begging for salvation, how do you know me so well??? anyway here’s 2.3k of always-a-sith!Anakin who could have been the new ruler of the empire but said ‘no thanks, this is too much responsibility, I would like to be pampered by my favourite jedi now’ (with a bit of Ahsoka as Obi-Wan’s padawan!)

 He didn’t mean to kill him.

Well, not at first.

He didn’t mean to kill Sidious, but pulling his lightsaber from his lifeless corpse only felt like complete satisfaction. A weight on his shoulders he didn't know he carried disappeared, letting him stand up above the body of his master— former master, and gaze upon what was left of him. A shapeless form on the ground. A dark cape around an old man playing at being a god. A begging mess of futile promises when he realised it was the end for him.  

As mindless fury leaves him, his ragged breathing slows down and his fist unclenches around his saber. Sidious is dead. Now that the adrenaline rush is gone, his knees start shaking. His Master is dead. His face is wet with sweat and blood and tears. Dead and now Anakin has no one.

And then...  And then fear.

"You know," Ahsoka groans as the water starts boiling, "I don't understand how you got your reputation of Cool Jedi Master. Other padawans think I'm lying when I tell them you wear the ugliest slippers at home and gets excited by new tisanes."

"You gifted me those slippers."

"As a joke. And you still wear them."

"I'm not going to throw away perfectly good slippers." Obi-Wan wiggles his toes under the red and yellow fuzzy monstrosities, just to see his padawan rolls her eyes. "And they're really comfortable."

"So you're just going to stay there, then? Your whole battalion is out celebrating our first day of leave since forever, but you prefer to drink your tea alone and go to bed at 22:00?"

"No one wants an authority figure around when they're letting loose and celebrating, Ahsoka," Obi-Wan says, pouring hot water in his cup. He raises the kettle towards his padawan as a question, to which she shakes her head. "I thought you would be happy to see me putting sleep before work for once."

"I am, Master, but I thought it could be..." She trails off, fidgeting with the hilt of her sabers. For once, she looks like a typical padawan, just like he was at her age, dying to enjoy one night away from the temple and any kind of responsibilities.

"It's alright my dear," he sighs, "you can join them if you want."

Ahsoka suddenly perks up. "I can?"

"If you're old enough to be sent to the front, I think you can handle yourself for one night on Coruscant."

"Thank you Master! I promise I'll be careful and not come back too late!"

"You do that, and-- wait, Ahsoka," he adds as she's already halfway through the door, "make sure to stay around Cody! And no alcohol of any kind! And don't lose your lightsaber at sabacc again!"

"That was you!" she yells from the end of the corridor, "don't worry, I'll be fine! Don't wait for me to go to bed! Goodnight Master!"

Obi-Wan smiles, blowing on his cup. He already sent a message to Cody earlier to keep an eye on her, so he knows she's in good hands.

He has his herbal tea, his ugly slippers, no reports to read or write, and no immediate Separatist menace to plan for. For once, a perfectly good night to catch up on sleep and meditation.

So, of course, something has to be wrong.

The Force is bright. The Force is lighter than it has ever been for the past few years.

And Obi-Wan can't understand why.  

It's not just him that can feel it: Ahsoka has acted chipper since, more like the teenager she is, laughing with the clones and playfully teasing him the whole fly back to Coruscant. The temple has felt livelier than ever when they arrived, Jedi from all ages going about their day with a new spring in their step, greeting each other warmly in the corridors. Even Master Yoda has taken a few minutes during their Council meeting to note the shift in the Force. No Master could pinpoint the origin of this change, but all agreed that something good happened somewhere in the galaxy, and they were just feeling ripples of the effect in the Force.

Still now, the whole temple feels a bit more like it used to, before the war, and all Jedi are a bit happier without knowing why.

Only Obi-Wan feels like a noose tightening around him. Whatever it is, it's slowing making its way around his presence in the Force. Focusing on him and him alone. Doesn't matter how much Obi-Wan tries to hide himself, it's getting closer and never slowing down or losing interest.

Needless to say, Obi-Wan has a bad feeling about this.

But after almost three years of war, sullen faces and grim expressions, he doesn't feel like dampening the sudden good mood around the Temple just with a few words. He can probably deal with whatever it is by himself.

His tisane is cold when he finally emerges from his meditation. Nothing is clearer than when he started: the Force is deaf to his questions and inquiries, still light as a breeze. An airy unconcern for his restlessness. And yet, a thick pressure still looms around him, getting heavier each passing second now.

His fingers start pulling on his collar.

The clock on the wall indicates that he lied to Ahsoka when he said he was going to bed at a respectable time today. No diurnal Jedi would still be up right now, but he still considers going out to knock at Mace's door. Narrowed eyes and a very long sigh will be his first answer, but Obi-Wan knows that Mace would never refuse to hear him out. Yes, he finally decides when the pressure seems to creep even closer to him, it's worth waking up Mace.

He opens his door, wondering if he should take his robe with him, and instantly stops walking.

There, in the empty corridor of the Jedi Temple, at his door and on his knees, is a Sith. He knows it's a Sith only because he recognises this specific mass of hair, the large shoulders, the dishevelled dark robe. He knows it's a Sith because he has crossed path with this one enough times on the battlefield to recognise him anywhere. Outside of it a few times too. He isn't sure it's a Sith when the Sith raises his head up, bloody and bruised face torn in an agonizing expression, and his eyes are blue.

"I— I didn't know where to go," Darth Vader says quietly, with the kind of voice expected from a lost child. It gives Obi-Wan a second shock to hear his voice, making his presence suddenly real. "You said... You said if I ever wanted to, if I needed help one day, you would— I could—"

Obi-Wan remembers it. He remembers all the times he offered his help. His pleas for him to stop the violence, the appeals to reason, the multiple suggestions of a gentler path. His hand continuously outreached but never taken. He remembers the burning gold of the Sith's eyes too, and his black cape floating above the dead clones at his feet.

His laughter the first time Obi-Wan brought up the idea of lowering their blades and talking around a cup of tea. His sneer the third time Obi-Wan tried to change his misconceptions about the Jedi Order and play-flirt with him in the same breath. The silence the fifth time Obi-Wan asked him his name, his real name, the one a parent gave him.

The tears the last time he gave it to him.

"And you're always trying to save me," Vader adds more forcefully now, like the words anger him, "you're always here, showing up almost every time I'm sent somewhere with your stupid smile and stupid words, and you're always nice, and... and teasing, and disappointed when I kill someone, like you expect me to be better, and I don't understand you, but..."

Vader raises his hand towards him, and it's only this sudden move that shakes Obi-Wan out of his stupor. Before the Sith can touch his leg, Obi-Wan calls his lightsaber to him, ignites it in one fluid motion, half-expecting Vader to be up and swaying his saber in his face by now. But the Sith is still on his knees, and it's only now that the blue light of his blade is above him that Obi-Wan realises the state he's in. His face isn't the only thing bruised and battered: his dark tunic is stained with blood and ripped in more than one place, one of his arms is bent in an unnatural way, and it looks like a cut above his hairline is still bleeding, making his curls stick to his face in a mess of wet hair and burned skin.

"Vader," Obi-Wan says slowly, when his thoughts finally regain a semblance of coherence. A rapid investigation through the Force assures him that no other enemy is around and the calm and quiet of the night in the Temple isn't a prequel for a storm. "How did you get in here? What are you doing here? How—"

Vader's hand, stuck in the space between them, reaches once again for Obi-Wan. Foolishly, Obi-Wan lets him. His fingers twist themselves in the fabric of his pants.

"He made me killed them all.” Vader wobbles on his knees for a second, the hand on Obi-Wan's leg gripping it tighter. “No platoons, no battle droids. Just me. He sent me to the power station and I cut through them so easily, so quickly, they didn't even fight back, and I didn't think that..." he trails off, panting. "Until.... until I saw the electro-whips." 

"Are you talking about Naphtla?" he asks when Vader doesn't seem to be able to continue.

Naphtla. Outer Rim. Barely on the Republic radar until this afternoon, when nearby troops answered a distress signal and found a hidden Separatist power station operated by slaves. A third of them were dead, killed only a few hours before, and the survivors turned to the Republic for immediate support. Slaughtered like animals, the rescue team reported to the Council only a few hours ago, by one single man wielding a red lightsaber. According to witnesses, the darksider cut through the slaves like bantha butter, killing everyone in his path without discrimination, until he stopped for no apparent reason and abruptly left.

"You were the one who killed the people at the station there," Obi-Wan realises out loud, horrified, "the slaves from Zygerria."

Vader snaps his head up and his fingers tighten painfully around Obi-Wan's knee. "I DIDN'T KNOW!"

All Obi-Wan's senses and logical thoughts urge him to back out, put an end to this nonsensical charade, raise his lightsaber between them, get away from the dark, hungry void Vader generates in the Force.

But his eyes are looking up to him. Gripping his gaze with the same intensity as his hand on his leg. Bloodied face and pleading, on his knees. Full of tears.

Obi-Wan doesn't push Vader's hand away.

"I didn't know they were slaves, I didn't!"

"Vader."

"He never said! He sent me without telling him, he knows I don't—" A small noise sounding suspiciously like a sob swallows the rest of his words.

"Vader, who sent—"

"When I came back," he tries again, quieter. Obi-Wan opens his mouth to ask about this he, but Vader's head lolls for a second, too heavy to support, before butting gently against Obi-Wan's leg. Vader makes no effort to move, content to stay there, and after a second, a small, almost timid nuzzle against his thigh sends a series of shivers through Obi-Wan's spine. It shuts him up instantly. "When I came back, he looked at me for so, so long, before saying that he knew, he knew I was going to fail, that I was... just like them after all, and that I could never... And I was so mad, so angry at him, so I... I..."

The last words are muffled by the fabric Vader clings to. Hides into. There's blood on Obi-Wan's pants now.

"What have you done, Vader?" Obi-Wan asks, softer than he intended. "Vader," he asks again when no reply comes, without success. The hand not holding his lightsaber moves, hesitates for a moment, then settles lightly on Vader's hair, mindful not to touch any open wounds. His fingers nudge him to tip his head back, gently, carefully, and settle on his cheek to hold his face up, looking at him. "Anakin." His name, his true name, makes him blink a few times. "Anakin, what have you done?"

"I killed him," he finally admits, barely audible. He looks exhausted, more like a child in need of rest than ever.

"Who did you kill?"

"My master."

"Dooku? You killed Dooku?"

"No," Vader— Anakin frowns, like Obi-Wan should know better. "Sidious."

It's a bit much to process in one day. Another Sith Lord, Vader's master, concealed and kept a secret, now dead, killed by his apprentice —and does that make Vader the ruling Sith Lord now? Do Sith have rulers?— the lightness in the Force the same day, a half-dead Vader begging for help in the middle of the night in the Jedi Temple, and all of that while Obi-Wan is still wearing his ugly slippers.

He's so glad he sent Ahsoka away for the night.

Anakin doesn't let him time to feel the migraine coming.

"I can't do it, I can't be my master, I can't— and Dooku hates me, he will never help me, even if I let him have it all, he will never..." Vader seems to run out of steam, and lets his eyes close as his head falls once again against Obi-Wan's thigh. Closer. "You said you could help me. You said I could come to you at any time. You said you would always be there if I didn't want to... do this, anymore."

"I did," Obi-Wan assures him, his hand lightly petting his hair again.

Anakin lets out a long breath. His fingers tighten on the fabric of Obi-Wan's pants, loosen, and tighten again.

"You're the only one I trust," the Sith quietly tells the Jedi, and it's the saddest thing Obi-Wan has ever heard.

[divinerulerluvr]

Womanizer

Summary - Warren Lipka picks you up after studying to have some fun and buy time.

Warnings - basic smut with a bit of a pain kink, breeding kink, that's the main things idk what else to advise you about.

A/N - I feel we need more warren shit on tumblr since he is arguably one of Evan's best characters outside of ahs. this fic has nothing to do with the plot of American animals so no spoilers ahead.

- - -

Warren’s car comes speeding down the road, skidding to a stop where i stand on the sidewalk.The window was rolled down, letting me see his pretty face. “Hiya there, stranger,” he jokes, a smile on his lips.

Chuckling, i walk around the car and get into the passenger side. It was late at night and i had just finished studying for my exam on Monday and who better to call at two in the morning on a Friday than Warren?

The moment I had buckled my seatbelt, Warren drove off. He always drove like he was in a car chase. It scares me sometimes but we’ve never been pulled over or gotten into a crash.

His music plays loudly, only making him drive faster. He tends to get lost in the moment. “What were you studying this time?” he asks, looking over to me as he pulls up to an abandoned intersection at a stoplight.

“The uh, Stonewall Riot of 1969,” I answer, looking over to meet his eyes. My minor was in Social Justice so of course, the Stonewall Riot was a topic we’d talk about. “Cool. That chick who was like, the leader of the riots was cool,” Warren replies, driving again when the hue of the green light filled the dark car.

I just nod, looking out my window. It was late at night so not a lot of people were out on the roads. The occasional drunk person or car was all you could spot. “Where do you wanna go?” he asks me.

It was always a dreaded question. Warren knew this, that’s why he always hesitated to ask. Sometimes he’d just drive around with no destination in mind because we had nowhere to go or be. I never wanted to go home and neither did he.

“I don’t know,” I say with a heavy sigh. Warren pulls into an abandoned parking lot, screeching the car to a stop and putting it in park. He grabs something out of the cup holder and I see he holds a joint.

He lights it, inhaling it first before offering it to me. “I stopped smoking weed,” I turn down. Warren smiles, a look of playful shock in his eyes. “My god, Y/n. Repenting, I see,” he jokes, taking another hit on the joint.

“I hope you don’t think you’re better than me now,” he comments, leaning back in his seat. He turns down the music a bit, silencing ‘Piano Man’ by Billy Joel. “How's college?” Warren asks me, his eyes studying my face.

The only source of light was from the dim street lamp that Warren had parked next to. I shrug, my lips pressed together. “Fine. Stressful but I can handle it,” I answer, resting my head back on the seat.

“You look tired,” Warren notices, his eyes evaluating my face like I was some complex math equation. I chuckle weakly. “Thank you for that,”

“College is bullshit, anyway. All the famous and rich people dropped out of high school. Let alone graduated college,” Warren tries to comfort. “All you need to succeed is money and charisma. And to be honest, Y/n, you’re already halfway there,”

I turn my head to look at him, a small smile spreading on my lips. “You think I’m charismatic?” I ask. Warren nods, exhaling smoke from his joint out of his rolled-down window. “Charisma is mostly how attractive you are and the other half is being nice so, yeah,”

“That is the nicest thing I think you have ever said, Lipka,” I say, almost surprised by his compliment. He chuckles, shaking his head as he looks away from me. “The weed makes me nice,” he excuses.

“I have to agree,”

“You are very pretty though,” Warren states, his voice lowered with affection. I turn my head back to face him, seeing the forlorn look in his dark eyes as he looks at me. “You’re pretty, too,” I compliment in return, reaching out and twirling a strand of his shaggy, brown hair around my finger.

Warren places his hand on my thigh in return, his eyes heavy on mine as his thumb rubs small circles on my inner thigh. “Third hookup of the month?” Warren suggests.

“That’d be the last one and it’s only the sixteenth,” I reply. He and I had this rule that since we were friends with benefits that we got three hookups a month. It keeps order in our friend group. Warren sighs, a look of disappointment on his face. “So?”

I roll my eyes playfully, feeling his hand creep further up my thigh and closer to my core. “Fine,” I say as if I were tired of arguing but in reality, I really wanted it as well. He leans over the center console of the car, his lips locking with mine without hesitation.

Kissing back, my fingers tangle in his hair as his fingers rub my clit lightly through the fabric of my pants. I moan into the kiss, my free hand going to his dick and palming him through his jeans.

Warren pulls from the kiss first, his eyes dark with lust and his cheeks red. “Backseat,” he instructs vaguely. With a simple nod, I crawl into the backseat, already taking off my leggings and tee shirt as he joins me in the backseat.

I help him take off his shirt, running my hand up his toned torso, feeling his warm skin. He does the same to me, his hand running down my bare leg. He lays me across the seats, pulling my panties off in one clean motion before settling between my legs.

Our lips meet again, my hands on his face to deepen the kiss. The kiss was hot and desperate. Sex with him was always like this. Like he was going to die if he didn’t fuck me in the next five minutes.

Warren was a very impatient man. Which causes for hot and oh so unholy sex.

His hand travels down between our bodies, slipping under my bra and playing with my breasts. I arch my back, my moans silenced by his lips. The car was already getting hot, causing a thin sheen of sweat to break out on our skin.

My hands go to his pants out of habit, undoing the zipper to his jeans easily. Pulling them down, I pull back the waistband to his boxers to let his dick out. I feel him smile into the kiss, impressed with my eagerness. He didn’t even have to make a snide comment about it, I just knew he was thinking it.

His hands move down my body, stopping at my hips where he holds me in place so he can push into me. His lips leave him, his eyes admiring the way my mouth falls agape as I feel his dick inside of me.

My legs wrap around his waist, my nails digging into the skin of his shoulder blades as he bottoms out inside me. He pushes some hair out of my face, stalling any movements to help me adjust.

“You look so pretty with me inside of you, pup,” he says, his lips grazing over mine in a taunting way. I whimper, a shudder running through my body as he moves his hips just so slightly. “Oh, you want more?” he asks teasingly.

I nod eagerly, giving him my best puppy dog eyes to hopefully make him cave. He runs his thumb over my lower lip before pushing it into my mouth. I gladly accept it, sucking on his thumb as he pulls his hips back and thrusts into me roughly.

I screw my eyes shut, my walls clenching as Warren sets a fast and relentless pace right away. My wetness made it easy for him, as he likes to say. Any noises I made were muffled by his thumb in my mouth.

My stomach tightens in knots as pleasure floods over me. Warren pulls his thumb from my mouth, his eyes on mine as he admires his work. Tears gather in my eyes, my skin hot to touch. He caresses my cheek, his hand falling down to my neck where he drags his nails down my neck and trails down to my breasts.

A whimper falls from my lips, my hips bucking to meet his as he continues to fuck me into oblivion. “Warren,” I moan weakly, my voice dripping with submission.

A groan leaves his lips, his eyes closing briefly as he indulges in his own pleasure. “You feel so good, baby. You’re such a good girl,” he praises, his words sending more arousal through my body.

I run my fingers through his hair, our eyes locked. Warren loves to keep eye contact during sex. Says that seeing the look on my face was better than the sex itself.

Already close to my orgasm, Warren runs his hand between our bodies, his fingers locating my clit effortlessly and rubbing slow circles on it to double my pleasure. I moan out, my eyes falling shut again as I bask in the feeling.

Warren removes his hand from my clit, moving to snake under my back so he could flip me around so we were now in doggy style. He quickly resumes his thrusts, hitting deeper inside of me than prior.

I rest my hand on the fogged-up window for stability, my head thrown back. Warren’s fingers tangle in my hair, pulling a handful of it. I cry out weakly, his grip on my hair being painful. Using my hair as leverage, he leans back as he fucks me roughly.

Right on the edge of an orgasm, I hold back knowing that Warren liked to make sex last due to my three times a month rule.

Using every ounce of willpower to repress my orgasm, my walls clench around his dick tightly. “Aww, is my baby gonna cum?” Warren asks in a mocking tone, just his mere words making me want to give up my fruitless battle.

I just nod, a pathetic moan leaving my lips as his fingers dig into my hips. “Go ahead, I give you permission,” he allows. With a sigh of relief, I give up everything and let the pleasure take over. With one last cry of his name, I’m falling apart.

The only way to explain an orgasm from Warren was like being able to sit down after running for days and days on end.

My entire body shakes and I find myself relying on his grip on my hips to keep me up. Soft pants leave my lips as my ears ring, my eyes screwed closed as pressure from my veins releases itself all at once.

Warren fucks me through my orgasm, leaving me a shaky mess as he cums inside of me. Ceasing his thrusting, he carefully pulls out of me, running his finger through my soaked slit to admire his work.

Panting, I sit back down on the seat, pulling my panties back on. “Shit. I gotta get to a bathroom now,” I huff, suddenly very aware of how uncomfortable having his cum in me would be. Warren smiles charmingly, shrugging. “Everything’s closed,”

I sigh, getting back into the front seat and pull on the rest of my clothes. Warren follows behind me, pulling his shirt back on as he puts the car into drive. I lean back in my seat, still catching my breath as Warren skirts out of the dark parking lot and onto the main road.

“Just don’t tell my boyfriend, ‘kay?”

“As always, friend,”

[tabbytabbytabby]

Hiyaa!

just because i came across the fact (idk if it's true. Idc because it's beautiful) that if 2 people look into each others eyes, their heartbeats sync.

i just thought that would be a lovely thing to write about with buddie. Or maybe you already have one like this already.

Just trying to give you inspiration or something.

have a lovely day!🤗

Thank you so much for this idea. I might have went down the rabbit hole and looked into it and it seems legit. I'm pretty fascinated by it, and it really is perfect for them. I hope you enjoy 💜

Also on AO3

-

"Hey, Eds?"

Buck looks around the house as he kicks off his shoes and hangs up his jacket. There's no sign of Eddie, but Buck can hear his voice coming from down the hall. 

Buck doesn't follow the sound, though. Instead, he walks into the living room where two heart monitors have been set up. It's something Buck would expect to see in a hospital, not the middle of Eddie's living room.

"What the hell?"

"Yeah," Eddie says, startling Buck when he appears suddenly behind him. "That was my thought too."

"What is Hen going to do to us?" Buck hisses. 

When Hen had first mentioned needing Buck and Eddie's help with a project for school, Buck hadn't hesitated to agree. Now, looking at the machines, he's starting to wonder what exactly he agreed to.

"She assures me it'll be painless," Eddie says.

"And you believe her?"

Eddie shrugs. "It's Hen. It's not like she's going to drain us of our blood and watch our vitals as we bleed out on my living room floor."

Buck tilts his head as he watches Eddie. "That's oddly specific, Eds." A teasing grin spreads across his face when Eddie looks away. "Have you been watching horror movies without me again?"

"Of course I have to watch them without you." Eddie crosses his arms across his chest and raises an eyebrow. "You hate horror movies. They freak you out."

"Yeah, and they freak you out too," Buck says. "Especially when you watch them alone."

Buck knows that for a fact. He's gotten plenty of texts from Eddie late at night after he decided it was a good idea to watch some horror movie after Christopher had gone to bed. 

There was one time Buck had to assure Eddie no one was lurking outside his house, and when that didn't work he drove over and checked it out for him. Turns out what Eddie had been seeing outside his window was a tree branch. Which Buck only teased him about a little bit.

So yeah, Buck knows what Eddie gets like after watching a horror movie.

"Alright, you boys ready?" Hen asks.

Eddie eyes the wires in her hands warily. "What are those for?"

Buck leans over and whispers to Eddie, "Still sure she's not going to kill us?"

Hen rolls her eyes and gestures to the couch. "Of course I'm not going to kill you. This is to help monitor your heart rhythm."

"What are you doing to us that you need to monitor our hearts?" Buck asks.

"An experiment," Hen says. "I can't tell you what exactly that is until after or else it could skew the results."

Eddie nods and moves to sit on the couch, leaving Buck no choice but to join him. 

"Alright, shirts off," Hen says.

Buck and Eddie share a look and Eddie shrugs, stripping his shirt off in one swift movement. Buck has to make himself look away from the newly exposed expanse of skin, and takes his own shirt off.

"Now what?" Buck asks Hen. 

"Now I need to put these electrodes on your chest," Hen says. 

"I can do Buck," Eddie offers. 

Buck almost chokes on his own tongue and he sputters. "What? What do…? What?"

"The electrodes, Buck," Eddie says. "I know where to place them."

"Right," Buck says. Of course that's what he'd been talking about. But then... "If you know what the wires are for why did you have to ask?"

Eddie smirks. "Because you didn't know."

"Asshole," Buck mutters.

All Eddie does is laugh.

Buck isn't sure if he wants to slap him or kiss him. Maybe both. Or neither. He's just going to be cool. He sits as still as he can as Eddie moves closer, one of the electrodes in his hands. He can do this. He can totally sit here and act like a normal person as his best friend, who he's secretly in love with, touches him. No big deal.

He jumps at the first touch of the sticky backing of the electrode in his skin. "Shit. That's cold."

Eddie sniggers. "Sorry. Did I forget to mention that?"

"Thought you would have known, Buckaroo," Hen says, easily placing the electrodes on Eddie's chest. He seems completely unphased. "You've been in the hospital enough times."

"I was never conscious when they put them on," Buck says. "Or you know, I had other things to worry about."

"Fair enough," Hen says. 

Eddie sighs and shakes his head. "This will go faster if you sit still."

"Right," Buck mumbles. "Sorry."

He does his best to remain still as Eddie places the remaining electrodes on his chest. After the first two, it's a little easier since he knows what to expect. Once they’re all on, Eddie clips the wires onto each electrode, and Buck watches as his heart rhythm appears on one of the machines.

"Alright, so what next?" Buck asks.

"Now I just need you two to sit facing each other for three minutes and keep eye contact," Hen tells them. "I'll monitor the time and tell you when to start."

"That's all?" Buck questions.

Hen nods. "Yep."

Buck shrugs. "Okay. Sounds simple enough." He turns to face Eddie better and smiles as he holds out his hand. "You ready?"

Eddie rolls his eyes but returns the smile as he takes Buck's hand. It's not part of the experiment, but Eddie doesn't question it. "Ready."

"Excellent." Hen looks down at her phone and then nods her head. "Alright. Starting on three, two, one."

Buck didn't need the countdown. His eyes were already fixed on Eddie's. He's looked into them loads of times, often found his gaze lingering there. But never like this. Not with Eddie gazing back so intently, his palm warm against his. It's strangely intimate, even with the beeping of the machines, and Hen in the room watching them. All that falls away. All Buck can focus on is Eddie. 

On the flecks of gold swimming among the brown, that until now Buck's never been able to appreciate. Buck could get lost in them. He wants to. 

He leans in, his eyes not leaving Eddie's, needing to be closer. Eddie mirrors his movements. There’s a look in his eyes that never fails to take Buck’s breath away, even he can’t quite pinpoint what it is. He has a feeling if he looks long enough he’ll find all the answers he needs.

"Eds…"

Beep beep beep

Buck jolts back at the sound of the timer going off, but his eyes don't leave Eddie's, even now. Eddie doesn't seem ready to look away either.

"Well?" Buck asks. "What'd you find out?"

"That even science knows how in love you two idiots are," Hen says.

Buck does look away then. His hand drops from Eddie's as he turns to face Hen. "What?"

"Research shows that people who are in love and gaze into each other's eyes for three minutes naturally experience synchronized heartbeats," Hen says. "And you two," she points between Buck and Eddie. "Synced up perfectly. Eddie's heart rate was in the 80's when we started and yours was 78. The moment you two locked eyes both of your hearts started to slow and then stayed at 68. Your respirations matched up too."

Buck's sure his heart isn't slow now. In fact, it has to have shot up at Hen's words. He looks at the monitor to see he's right. He's pushing 80. But Eddie… Eddie's has remained steady.

He glances over at Eddie, to see him looking fondly at him before he starts to peel off the electrodes. "Can you get these off him, Hen?"

"You got it," Hen says. She starts removing the electrodes from Buck's skin, but Buck barely pays attention, too focused on Eddie.

"You don't seem surprised by this," Buck says. "Why aren't you surprised?"

Eddie sighs. "Because I'm not. I've heard of this before. And I…" 

"What?"

"I think this is something you two need to talk about alone," Hen mutters. She tosses the last electrode aside and then stands up. "I'll get the equipment later. You two… talk."

Eddie starts to get to his feet, but Buck grabs his arm, stopping him. "Wait, Eddie."

"I'm just going to get a washcloth, Buck," Eddie says, offering him a reassuring smile. "Trust me, you don't want this to dry on your skin."

Buck winces. "Good point."

His skin already feels gross and sticky. Something he doesn't want to feel when he has this talk with Eddie.

Eddie returns a moment later with two washcloths. He hands one to Buck as he takes his previously vacated seat next to him. Buck smiles when he presses the washcloth against his skin and feels how warm it is. Of course, Eddie would be thinking about comfort. 

When he's done, he puts the washcloth aside and turns back to Eddie. 

"Why weren't you surprised?" Buck asks softly. Eddie looks up at him, before glancing away. Something Buck is used to when it comes to Eddie talking about his feelings. Normally, Buck would let it be. But not today. Not with this. Buck gently tilts his chin up with his fingers and ducks his head to meet Eddie's gaze. "Eddie."

"Because I know how I feel about you," Eddie says. "That's why my heart sped up when Hen told us what we'd be doing."

"But you were calm when it was over," Buck says.

Eddie nods. "Yeah. And you weren't."

"I was afraid I gave myself away," Buck admits. "I didn't want to risk losing you."

Eddie smiles and leans down, pressing a soft kiss on Buck's palm. "Buck, you know the experiment only works if it goes both ways."

"Oh," Buck says. Then, "Oh."

Eddie chuckles and moves down, kissing Buck's wrist over his pulse. "Yeah."

"You love me," Buck whispers. It’s a question. Buck is sure of that. As sure as he’s ever been of anything. Eddie loves him. Buck suddenly understands just what it was he saw in Eddie’s eyes before. Not just today, but so many times over the years, and he never let himself hope. Until now. It’s love.

Eddie sits up straighter until their faces are level. He brings his hand up to Buck's face, his fingers caressing his skin with a softness that matches the look in his eyes. There's no looking away now. "I do," Eddie says. "I love you, Evan."

Buck kisses him, unable to hold back in longer. Eddie laughs happily and kisses him back with matching enthusiasm. "I love you too," Buck murmurs against his lips. And it's perfect. Buck doesn’t need a heart monitor to tell him that. Together in this moment, like with everything else, they're completely in sync.

[duuhrayliegh]

male chivalry

warnings: okay so there is a trigger warning of sexual harassment and attempted sexual assault, language, men being gross, protective!bucky, angst a bit, i think that’s it, if you see anything else let me know

word count: 3230 :)

a/n: idk why it took me so long to finish this, but it’s here now!!! also this is based off this post from @teaboot (just the op bc the rest of it pissed me off :)) i hope y’all like it. i hope it’s what y’all expected idk, i’m proud of it.

i really hope i did the topics justice, if you don’t think i did, please shoot me a message and help me figure out how to do better. <3

p.s.: my requests and tag lists are open! also this is not beta read, so all mistakes are my own.

xoxo ray

ray’s m.list

************************************

It had been about three weeks since Bucky had first met the group of four at the protest. Bucky made sure to check in with Steve and let him know what he was doing. Steve was always worrying about Bucky, which was totally understandable because of everything they had been through.

Bucky’s day was a relaxed one with little to no time to dawdle. Over these three weeks, he had learned more from an eighteen year old than he ever thought he would. It was easier to open up to her, for some reason. Bucky hadn’t fully figured that out yet either, but he wasn’t going to question it.

Bucky had been going to his court mandated therapy with Dr. Raynor, to say they were making progress would be a lie. Honestly, Bucky was making more progress with the new individuals in his life. They knew what he did as the Winter Soldier-- no they know what the Winter Soldier did, Cassie made sure the distinction between the two was crystal clear. Bucky was still a bit cautious around them, not wanting to hurt them or be a burden to them.

It amazed Bucky how open they were with each other. Back in the 40’s, you didn’t express your feelings. Especially if you were a man, for fear of being labeled something unsavory. Even stranger still to Bucky was the encouragement and support that everyone gave to those in hard times. It warmed Bucky’s heart to see Penny comforting Freddie after his recent break up.

“Freddie and Ted had been together a little over six months,” Cassie explained to Bucky one night after the group had dispersed from the dining table. Bucky and Cassie were standing over the sink washing the dinner plates and cutlery. “Freddie was so in love with him. I thought Ted felt the same, but I guess that’s just how it goes, right?”

Bucky shrugged, this was one of his first experiences with modern romance. Dating in the 40’s was very rigid, which was to be expected, but nowadays everything is very fluid. It truly fascinated Bucky.

“I honestly don’t know.” Bucky shrugged as he dried the pristine plates. Just as he began to get lost in thought, Evie pulled him into a subject that he hadn’t thought of in a real long time.

“What was it like with women in the forties, Buck?” Bucky blinked at her and considered his answer carefully. The group had been teaching him how to handle some subjects sensitively.

“To be honest? The last date that I went on was to the World Expo of Tomorrow in 1943, the night before I shipped out to England.” He turned, leaning his weight on the counter behind him and crossing his arms over his chest. “I went with Steve, this was before he was Captain America, so when he was a little ol’ gangly thing. I had hooked us up with two women, one for me and one for Stevie, their names were Dot and Connie, I think.”

“No, no, that’s not what I mean, Buck. What was it like with women?”

Bucky tilted his head in question.“What do you mean?”

“What was it like with them? Like, how were they treated as a whole?”

“Oh, uh I think they were treated well? My Ma always told Steve and I to treat women with respect, so we did.”

“Right, but what about everyone else? How did they treat women?” Bucky was confused by the question and he began to think that he was giving the wrong answers.

“Um, I guess I don’t know. I guess they were treated how they are today?” Both of the girls in front of him released disdained scoffs.

“Well, that’s unfortunate, right Cas?” Cassie nodded at Evie and dropped her head in disappointment.

“Why do you say that?” Bucky asked. He was genuinely curious about what the girls were referring to. “I mean, I get that the treatment of women hasn’t always been good but it’s not that bad right?” The girls shared a knowing look, and then Evie sighed. She hauled herself out of her chair and nodded to Bucky.

“Alright, let’s go take a walk, just you and me.”

“Where are we going?”

“Oh, just a couple blocks away to the Walgreens. Sound okay?” Bucky agreed, grabbing his jacket and waiting for Evie by the doorway. “We’ll be back soon, Cas.”

“Uh, are you sure that’s a good idea, Evelyn?” Bucky had only ever heard Cassie use Evie’s full name when she was getting in trouble.

“Yeah, we’ll be fine, Cas, I swear.” Evie glanced at Bucky, “Besides, I’ve got a Sargent escorting me, so we’ve got nothing to worry about.” She threw a smile to her older sister whose face was just a veil of worry and doubt.

Bucky and Evie exited the apartment building and neither of them had said anything since. Bucky was wondering what this whole exercise was all about, but he wasn’t going to say anything until Evie did. The pair walked up onto a crosswalk, causing them to stop and wait so Evie was able to turn the man beside her.

“So, before we go any further, I just want to set the scene for you.” She took a calming breath and it was now that Bucky realized that this was the first time that she was noticeably scared. His brows furrowed and he nodded as she continued. “It’s ten o’clock on a Wednesday night and you’re in Brooklyn, walking to your local Walgreens because you need tampons.” Bucky huffed out a small laugh as Evie playfully glared at the man.

“Yeah, yeah. The female menstrual cycle is hilarious as is the pink tax that is put on feminine hygiene products. Laugh it up, James.” She shook her head and pulled Bucky closer to the front of a building. “I’m trying to tell you something, ya asshole. So, you see that it’s dark outside because it’s late but you decide to risk it anyway because you have a flight to catch at four the next morning. You leave your apartment and you are greeted with this.” She gestured to the expanse in front of her.

“Alright, let’s go. And just a word of wisdom real quick before we really get going. Women are considered fragile but I’ve never seen anything as easily wounded as a man’s ego.”

“Wow, that’s quite a pearl.” Bucky caught up to Evie as she made her way down the street.

“So being a woman and even more so, being a woman at night, means that you have to constantly be on guard.” As they were walking, a man in a greasy white tank top passed them. The man’s head turned and he scanned Evie’s body.

“Goddamn, that’s a sweet little body there, baby girl.” Bucky’s head snapped around to the man, but Evie kept walking. Bucky looked over to Evie with concern riddling his features.

“Hey, sweetcheeks! Let me talk to you for a while!” The greasy man was now following Evie and Bucky. “I bet I can show you a better time than he can, baby girl. Come on, let me talk to you.” He reached his hand out, gripping Evie’s arm and pulling her to face him.

“Please don’t touch me.” “Get your fucking hands off her, you dick.” The man took a step backwards away from the pair.

“Well, fine you bitch! I didn’t want you anyway, fucking fat ass.”

“Hey, you don’t just get to fucking walk away, you jackass! Apologize to her.”

“Why should I apologize to her? I was giving her a compliment.” Bucky’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. Did this guy just fucking--

“Okay, buddy.” Bucky went to approach the man to settle their disagreement when Evie stopped him.

“James, leave it. Let’s go.” She kept walking and Bucky didn’t want to leave her alone, not after that whole debacle.

“What the fuck was that Evie?” He questioned quickly, she shook her head in response but never verbally responded to him. A few paces later, the pair was about to pass a group of men leaned up against the brick wall behind them. Brown paper bags crunched around bottles were grasped in their hands. Drunken laughter was ringing out through the near empty streets.

“Hey baby! Why don’t you come on over here so we can talk to ya!” One of the men began to step in front of Evie effectively stopping her movement. The eighteen year old took a few steps backwards, coincidentally into Bucky’s chest. His arms came up to meet hers, about to move in front of her in a protective stance.

“Woah, you got a bodyguard baby?” The man tilted his head and stared at Evie. “You know you don’t need him sweetheart.”

“Damn, baby girl. You’re fine as hell.” Another man walked to stand next to the first. “What do I gotta do to get you in my bed?”

“Please leave us alone.”

“No, baby girl I don’t think that’s what’s going to happen.” Bucky stepped in front of Evie protectively.

“I think she told you to leave us alone.” The two men in front of Bucky didn’t waver. Two raised brows and a fit of laughter later, they still maintained their ground.

“Why? You guys going somewhere to fuck? Already got a piece of that ass and don’t want to share it big man?”

“That’s just cold. You gotta share sometime. And it’s just easier to do it now rather than later.” Evie trembled behind Bucky and leaned up so only Bucky could hear her.

“Come on Bucky, let’s just go back to the apartment.” She tugged on his right arm, fingers digging into his soft flesh. Bucky was sure that he would have crescent shaped indentations where her nails laid in because of how much she was gripping him.

Bucky’s eyes flicked up and down the two men in front of him, assessing how much of a threat they were. They were clearly enough of a threat to frighten Evie to the point of wanting to go home. Bucky gave Evie a stiff nod, not taking his eyes off of the men.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going baby? We’re just getting started!” One of them yelled at the pair as he reached out to grab Evie’s forearm. A split second later, Bucky’s left hand balled into a fist and he launched it at the man’s face. A loud crack resounded and a groan left the man’s mouth as he hit the ground. A look of shock fell across the other’s faces as they saw Bucky standing over their fallen comrade. The group took several steps away from the pair, holding their hands up in surrender.

“Don’t you ever touch a woman without her permission, you fucking prick.” Bucky then turned quickly, grabbing Evie’s wrist tightly and hauling her away from the men. Several paces later, Bucky still held a tight grip on the girl's arm.

“Bucky, you’re kind of hurting me.” Evie’s voice broke through Bucky’s barriers. He let up on how fast he was walking and then dropped Evie’s arm.

Worried eyes scanned her body for any bruising, “I’m so sorry, doll. Are you okay?” Evie laughed as she was rubbing her sore wrists.

“Bucky, that’s normal for any woman. Ever.” Shaking her head, she began walking back towards the apartment. “We could’ve kept on going to Walgreens, but I wasn’t sure your fragile heart could take it.” Bucky drew in his brows and a deep frown etched itself into his features.

“What the hell do you mean that’s normal, Evelyn?” He thrust his arm behind them, gesturing to what they just went through. “Nothing about that was normal.” Still shaking her head, the eighteen year old shrugged her shoulders.

“It’s normal for women.” She glanced at Bucky as she continued on her way. “Also, I know that you were probably just defending my honor or protecting me or whatever, but I want you to really think back, Buck. Think about when you were picking up women in the forties, did you ever push when they didn’t want to have that drink with you? Did you continuously ask for them to dance with you?”

“No, I told you. My Ma raised me the right way.” They walked up to the apartment building and Bucky reached for the door handle. Evie began making her up the stairs, Bucky not far behind her. She stopped suddenly, a few flights before Cassie’s apartment.

“What about your friends?” Bucky was taken aback. His memories were still a bit fuzzy about those times, but he could remember clearly enough. Although he wasn’t quite sure what she meant by the questions she was asking.

“What are you getting at Evie?” He huffed while opening the door to Cassie’s apartment. Freddie and Penny were lounged on the couch with an almost empty bottle of wine. Cassie’s head shot up at the sound of the two walking in the doorway. Evie dumped her things off on the granite countertop and turned on her heel to stare at Bucky.

“Did you ever stop your friends when women said no?” The quiet laughter between Penny and Freddie stopped suddenly as Evie’s question hung in the air. All eyes were on Bucky as he gulped and thought back to the times at the bars. Out with Steve and the other Howling Commandos, did they ever do that? He tried to think of a time when they pushed for what they wanted to happen. Of a time when the woman they were pursuing reluctantly gave in because they wouldn’t leave her alone. Evie didn’t wait for an answer, she could see that he was processing everything.

“So why did you stop those guys back there?” Her brows raised and her head tilted in question. Bucky took a deep breath and was about to answer when Evie cut him off. “By punching that guy out there, you’re a hero and we should all thank you and congratulate you for doing the right thing.” She stepped closer to Bucky and the three in the living room understood where Evie was going.

“What do you think would have been said if I would’ve punched him? Sure, you would’ve said something snappy and nice about how I can take care of myself. The general public though? They would say that I overreacted.”

“Easy Evie, he’s still learning.” Cassie said quietly. Bucky was thankful for that, he still did have a lot to learn but it felt like Evie was attacking him. That’s the point, you fucking dumbass. If you had been berating her for putting herself in danger by punching that guy, you would think she was reckless.

“Her point, Bucky, is that the double standard for men and women goes beyond what we expect. Everyone goes crazy for the knight saving the damsel, but everyone hates the damsel for saving herself.” Freddie explained from the comfort of the couch. Bucky nodded, starting to understand the concept. “And her questions about your old buddies. That has to do with the fact that you’re part of the problem.”

“What problem is that?” Bucky was honestly scared to know the answer but he knew to fully learn, he had to get all the facts, both good and bad.

“Stunting the growth of feminism. Being one of the people perpetuating the fact that it’s okay for men to be violent, but not for women.”

“Violence in the form of defending oneself in any capacity.” In Bucky’s line of work, he sees tons of capable and strong women. Natasha, Okoye, Shuri, Sharon, he could think of so many. Then he tried to think of when any of them got the limelight like Steve or himself.

“So it’s like anytime that there would be press releases for the team, and the interviewers would come and ask us questions,” he paused to think how to word what he wanted to say, “they always ask the guys about like super important things like how we’re keeping the city safe and stuff. But when they talk to the girls, they ask about their workout schedule and if they can wear underwear under their suits?”

“Yes, it’s exactly like that Bucky. That’s just a different form of it.” Evie replied quickly. She came up to hug Bucky. “I didn’t mean to attack you or anything, but this is something that we all feel is really important for you to grasp now that you’re back out there.”

“And now that you can recognize when it’s happening, the next important step is to stop it before it happens.” Penny yelled from the living room as she downed the last of the bottle in her hand.

“I’m so sorry, Evie. I didn’t know.”

“I know, I’m sorry too. You’re still figuring stuff out, but I needed you to see what it was really like for women.”

“Okay.” Bucky nodded. “How can I help this situation?” The group exchanged proud looks.

“Well, educate everyone around you. Don’t let it happen when you’re around.” Cassie said as she walked into the kitchen to crack open another bottle of wine. “And just support women. Push our problems into the public’s eye.” Bucky smiled, he could handle that, he was good at that.

Considering he was on his way to becoming a member of the Avengers, he would be able to influence from up high. He could openly support groups that were run by women, for women. He was used to standing in the background for things he didn’t believe in, so standing for something that he did was going to be a cakewalk.

A concern floated into the forefront of Bucky’s mind. He looked down at Evie, who had just recently released him from her death grip of a hug. “You know how to defend yourself right?”

Evie’s brows raised in a challenging manner, “Do I look like I don’t know how to defend myself?” The man shook his head and smiled as the surrounding group laughed. Cassie poured a glass of wine and cracked open a bottle of beer for Bucky.

They all made their way to the comfy couches to snuggle in for a movie night, satisfied with their teachings for the night.

“What are we watching tonight?”

“Well, in the spirit of feminism, we are going to watch Legally Blonde.” Penny commented as she picked up the remote. “And it’s Freddie’s favorite so yeah.”

The lights clicked off as the opening credits ran for the movie. Bucky looked around his group of friends as they giggled at the screen. Evie had her head in Cassie’s lap and she was stretched across the sofa with her feet tucked under Bucky’s thigh. Freddie and Penny were curled up in the loveseat across from where Bucky was. Pieces of popcorn and glasses of red wine were being passed from person to person, with the exception of Evie who was still underage. The energy surrounding the five of them was something Bucky hadn’t experienced in a long time and he wasn’t going to give it up anytime soon either.

A large grin overtook his face, although today was one of the harder lessons for him to learn, he wouldn’t want anyone else to be teaching him.

***********************

@mishaandthebrits

[satendou]

⟼ if you can’t beat ‘em

⍣ clueless chemistry series | next

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢  pairing: bokuto kotaro/f!reader/kuroo tetsuro

⇢ au: clueless chem!au, college!au, poly!au

⇢ summary: you and kuroo have it bad for each other, even though you’re dating bokuto. ignoring it for the sake of your relationships, it turns out bokuto isn’t as oblivious as you think.

⇥  masterlist

⇢  warnings: established relationship, polyamory, smut, double penetration in one hole, blowjobs, fingering, oral, unprotected sex

⇢  word count: 8k

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢  a/n: idk how good this one actually is so we’ll see

The front door opened as you were putting three frozen pizzas in the oven, a deep, amused voice calling out a greeting to you. Your heart dropped from your chest to your stomach, almost dropping the pizza in your surprise.

“Back again? Just can’t stay away, can you?” Kuroo asked, dropping his bag with a muffled thump* by the door. You could hear the sound of his shoes hitting the floor as well, and then it seemed like he was suddenly behind you. “Bokuto home yet?”

“Hey, Kuroo. No,” you answered, trying to keep the nerves singing in your stomach at bay. Had you known he would be here before Bokuto, you might have opted to stick around for Bo’s practice instead. “He should be home soon though.”

As if to prove your point, both your phones dinged at the same time. Kuroo unlocked his first, reading Bokuto’s message in the group chat saying he would be home in ten. 

“How were classes?” you asked as you checked your own texts. Bokuto had sent you a separate text full of heart emojis and an ‘eye love you’, to which you chuckled and typed back. There was a series of texts trying to determine meet up times for a group project in one of your classes, which you ignored for the time being. They would spend the next twelve hours trying to figure it out amongst themselves, so you had time. “The fuckin’ economy professor is killing me this semester.”

Kuroo laughed while you set the timer. His eyes lingered on the way your legs stretched out from underneath Bokuto’s old Fukurodani jersey before he winced.

The last thing he should be doing was eye-fucking his best friend’s girlfriend. He bit his lip and averted his eyes out the window, seriously considering all of his life choices, right down to the choice not to get a drink at the bar the night Bokuto met you.

Ugh, lucky bastard, he snarled in his head, but it was filled with amused aggravation at himself. Jealousy was unbecoming, especially when he was as envious of Bokuto as he was of you. What an awful friend he was. Up until the day Bokuto had met you, Kuroo had kept whatever feelings he’d had for Bokuto in check, refusing to linger or inspect them deeper than as a surface level platonic interest. He was afraid if he looked too closely at them, they would take root and flourish and then he would really be screwed.

But seeing the two of you together had really stuck in his craw and forced those dormant feelings to the forefront. At first, he hadn’t liked you because he was jealous. Yet, the longer he was forced to be in your presence and he saw how unbearably happy you made Bo, the more he just accepted that that was how things were meant to be. When he accepted that, it allowed him to start to get to know you.

And about that was around the time he realized he was actually, really, and truly fucked.

Turning back to you, he found you giving him a soft, pensive look that tugged at the fine strings holding his heart, which he chose to ignore for everyone’s sake. “Yeah, I had him last semester and it only gets worse. He’s gonna give you some insane project about halfway through the semester, so if you need help, let me know. I aced it, after all.”

You had quickly averted your eyes, cheeks flushing a light pink when he caught you staring, but you laughed into your hand. “Thanks, I appreciate that. Not gonna lie, I’m already kinda lost as it is. All the numbers and different...whatever. I need to really study if I’m gonna keep up, ugh.”

The offer to help was on the tip of his tongue when the door opened and Bokuto stumbled in, calling a raucous greeting, causing guilt to flood his system again. There was no reason to feel that way either, he was just going to offer you help, it wasn’t even an underhanded attempt to spend time alone with you, for fuck’s sake. Not that it wouldn’t be a perk but you were dating his best friend. He would reign in his urges for that if for no other reason.

Trying not to read too much into the way you scampered away from him, he watched you smile at Bokuto, who swept you up in a hug. The burning in his chest was a mix of affection and jealousy, and it left a bitter tang on his tongue as he looked away. The sun was mostly gone by that point, and the lights of Tokyo were starting to twinkle. 

For a brief moment he considered going out to find somewhere else to be for the night. Watching the two of you simper over each other all night would be enough to make him puke, and yet he found himself parked on the opposite end of the couch from you, watching Fight Club. Just as expected, you were curled up against Bo’s chest while he told the two of you about practice and classes, and the gap between you and Kuroo felt like a canyon.

“Where’s ‘Kaashi?” you asked at last, when the clock struck ten. The pizza was long gone by then and you were settled into Bokuto’s chest, his hand warm on your back through the jersey you wore. It was abnormal for him to be so late getting home, and you narrowed your eyes at Bokuto’s smirk.

He snickered into his hand, grinning knowingly. It was oddly devilish coming from your light-hearted partner. It did strange things to you, sending chills down your spine, and you shifted closer to him. “He’s out on a study-date, but I don’t think he’ll be coming home tonight.”

Kuroo scoffed on your other side before snickering. “Since when are you so observant, Ko?”

“I’m a lot more observant than you might think, Tetsu.” 

There was a strange, new edge to Bokuto’s voice when he answered, sending both of your hearts racing when you heard it. It set off something akin to alarm bells, and you and Kuroo looked at each other.

When you had first got together with Bokuto, you had been forthright with him. You liked him a lot, but you were someone who liked having multiple partners. Of course, Bokuto being Bokuto it hadn’t made a difference to him. 

“Alright, cool. Not sure I’m interested, but thanks for letting me know. Now how ‘bout we go get some ice cream?”

At the time, you hadn’t believed he truly understood what you meant, but after a few more conversations and hints, he finally got the big picture. And still didn’t seem to care. 

As he had said during that first conversation, he showed no interest in dating outside of you, and so it made you feel a bit guilty about going on any dates when he was almost single-mindedly devoted. Then again, it had taken you a decent while to get to the point where you wanted to date other people. Bokuto took up a lot of your time that wasn’t already taken up by classes and work. He was a ball of energy that left you no chance to even consider interest in anyone else.

Maybe that was why you had fallen for Kuroo. Besides Akaashi, he was the friend that you spent the most time with, but you didn’t care to date any of the other people you met. 

No, that wasn’t right. You didn’t date them for long, if one date could be called dating. It was fine--  you weren’t looking for anything. Just, sometimes you would agree to coffee or dinner and then ghost or be ghosted after that.

You still couldn’t pinpoint when you had fallen for Kuroo, either. With Bokuto, you had taken an instant liking to him, with his loud vibrance and undying enthusiasm. His more or less blind optimism and kindness towards everyone didn’t hurt either.

Kuroo, on the other hand, had started out a bit...abrasive. You couldn’t tell what were jokes; he was constantly picking and teasing, and it grated on your nerves for a while. A few of your other friends called him a “master of provocation” and it sounded stupid but you could also see what they meant. He was certainly good at getting under your skin.

Which was why it surprised you when you saw him one day and felt the familiar stir of emotions, your eyes starting to linger on him longer and seek him out. His teasing became less annoying and more endearing, your laughter coming more easily in response to it. You would guess it was around that time that his gaze started lingering on you longer than was appropriate, and that you began to catch his eyes.

The longer it went on, the more you realized a lot of things about Kuroo. How he liked his coffee-- black if he had an early morning class, but with a lot creamer if he wasn’t going anywhere-- and that his teasing was interlaced with a lot of good advice and kindness-- you just had to know where to look. He was smart, top of the class in most if not all the science courses, funny, handsome, and kind. And the way Bokuto talked about him, like Kuroo was some kind of saint with a sarcastic streak, really didn’t help.

It really wasn’t much of a surprise when you considered all that. But he was one of Bokuto’s best friends, strictly off limits. You were definitely not about to go and ruin their friendship because you couldn’t control yourself.

You weren’t going to be that selfish.

Neither was Kuroo, even though he never said as much. It wasn’t something either of you had ever even considered bringing up amongst yourselves, beyond weighing the pros and cons of doing so.

Pros: maybe you realized it wasn’t a crush after all and you could settle into a friendship.

Cons: you fucked up big time.

Pretty simple answer.

But no matter how hard you tried to ignore the feelings and treat each other as friends, it wasn’t that simple.

“What do you mean, Ko?” Kuroo asked, quirking his eyebrow at Bokuto. There was a small smile toying at the corners of his lips, but his narrowed eyes belied his concern.

You admired his ability to sound so calm and collected when your heart was racing so fast in your chest you were lightheaded. The accusatory tone in Bokuto’s voice wasn’t even fair when you hadn’t even done anything--

You remained tucked into Bokuto’s side, head craned up to look into your partner’s face, but you couldn’t get a read on him. Usually he was so open, betraying every emotion he was feeling in a given moment, but besides the narrow, calculating look in his eyes, there was nothing. 

“Ko?” you murmured, tentatively covering his hand with yours.

“Like you don’t know, Kuroo. I’ve seen the way you look at her,” Bokuto answered, slipping his hand out from under yours. You found yourself hoisted further up into his lap, planted sideways across his thighs, and your heart made its way into your throat. Tears burned your eyes as you looked at Kuroo, pleading with him to save this.

Kuroo looked right back at you, alarm evident in his eyes, before looking back up to Bokuto as he shook his head. “It isn’t like that, Ko. You know it isn’t. And she hasn’t-- we haven’t--”

So focused on Kuroo, you didn’t notice Bokuto’s arm sliding around your waist until it was pulling you back slightly, so that you were putting your weight on it. Bracing yourself on your leg wasn’t an option either because Bo had already hooked his other arm under your knee, pulling until you were splayed out before Kuroo, who had a sudden inkling this wasn’t going to go the way either of you expected.

Still, he kept his arms locked across his chest, legs crossed as he kept his eyes firmly on Bokuto’s unreadable yellow ones. He was actually a little concerned about how Bo was suddenly so good at that-- it made him uneasy, not being able to tell exactly what he was thinking. It had been years since Kuroo had learned all of Bokuto’s tells but he was seeing none whatsoever now.

“I know you haven’t, because I trust the both of you,” Bokuto responded, and finally looked down at you. His arm came out from under your knee so he could cradle your face, giving you the first soft smile you had seen since he had first started...whatever this was. It almost* eased the tightness in your chest, but you were still confused. Then he laughed, boisterous and full and loud and both you and Kuroo jumped a mile high. “Don’t worry, guys. I’m not mad. I mean, have you seen her? I’d be more concerned if you weren’t interested.”

You gaped like a fish and Kuroo’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, only making him laugh harder at the utter confusion all over both of your faces.

Kuroo was the first to recover, blinking wildly, and his concern for you was evident. “You mean you aren’t mad? We’ve never even talked about it let alone acted on it so I think we were both confused but--”

“Bro, Akaashi noticed ages ago how the two of you were acting and asked what was going on. Was super concerned but I told him it was cool and that we were open so I didn’t mind,” Bokuto explained, and his arm around you relaxed as he pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. He smiled when you cuddled down into him, curling your knees up so that you were tucked close into his chest. “Sorry, baby. I just wanted to have a little fun.”

You couldn’t help the tears that welled up and spilled down your cheeks, and Bokuto was quick to ramp up his apologies, swiping at the tears with his thumbs while Kuroo chuckled from his seat. When you looked up at him, his pretty yellow eyes were swimming with regret, but you weren’t quite ready to forgive him yet.

“The hell, Ko? I was really scared. I thought you were gonna-- gonna leave me or--” You hiccupped, hiding your face in his shirt. Fingers curling into his shirt, you wiped your eyes on his shoulder, feeling his large, warm hands rubbing your back. You weren’t sure what the or was, but it had something to do with cutting you and maybe even Kuroo out of the picture. 

You were shaking against him and Bokuto was just starting to think he’d really fucked up when you pulled back and kissed him full on the mouth. He could feel your lips quirk up against his, taste the salt from your tears on his tongue, but then you were playfully smacking his chest while you huffed out a laugh.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” he answered, glancing at Kuroo from the corner of his eyes. His friend was examining his perfectly filed nails with feigned disinterest, picking at nonexistent dirt underneath them, and he smirked. “Why didn’t you guys tell me about it, though? Or at least you, _____. You know I don’t mind.”

“Uh-- well--” you stuttered, and looked to Kuroo again. He looked mildly curious, and you realized he didn’t really know about yours and Bokuto’s arrangement either. Probably because Bokuto completely forgot to mention it, if you had to guess. Things like that slipped his mind often when they weren’t pressing. Sometimes even the important things did as well, but you couldn’t blame him. Much softer and a little shy, you continued, “He’s your friend, Ko. I didn’t want to do that. Especially to you and Kuroo.”

The corner of Kuroo’s mouth ticked up, affection for you flooding his system, and the soft look Bokuto gave you only made it worse. He wished he was on the receiving end of anything from either of you, but it wasn’t possible. But he was curious to know what you and Bo were talking about. You didn’t want to do what* that Ko didn’t care about? With him*?

But Bokuto was too busy showering you with affection to notice anything Kuroo was doing, so he contented himself to watch him whisper in your ear and listen to you giggle in return. Why he was still just sitting there was beyond him when he was suffering for it, wanting everything the two of you had. Jealousy flared in his ribs and spread down through his stomach, icy hot tendrils wrapping around his heart until he thought it might burst. He really was such an awful friend.

The couch shifted and you broke from Bokuto to look at Kuroo, who had stood up but was staring with fixed determination at the TV. The look on his face was twisting and turning, changing from anger to resignation to hurt and back again, as if he couldn’t figure out what he wanted to feel.

Scoffing at what was on the screen, he turned towards the hall. It was all well and good that the two of you could make up and move on, but the longer Kuroo sat and thought about it, the angrier he became at Bokuto’s ‘joke’. As if his feelings were just something to amuse him and he wasn’t about to sit here and be made fun of, but he wasn’t about to blow up on the two of you either. It wasn’t your fault he was...feeling like this.

Except it kind of was Bokuto’s but he wouldn’t understand.

“Where you goin’, Tetsu?” Bokuto asked, but his eyes were narrowed in amusement. Over the last few months of watching the two of you, he had learned more about Kuroo’s expressions and tells, things he had missed in the years that they had known each other. The way Kuroo’s eyes would narrow just before he said something he knew would tick someone off, the way his eyes would water just the tiniest bit before he told a joke he thought was hilarious, or how he would suck his lip in and nibble when he was holding his tongue on something-- which was rare-- were just a few.

He had also taken notice of the way he stared at not only you, but Bokuto himself. Now, Bokuto would be the first to admit that he wasn’t the most observant or the smartest, but he knew a wistful look when he saw one and he was the constant target of Kuroo’s. He was probably neck and neck with you, but he couldn’t be sure how much longer he’d been on the receiving end. When he asked Akaashi about it, he had only shrugged, commenting, “Maybe he likes you too. Have you thought of that?”

The answer was no, no he hadn’t. But that had started some weird gears turning in Bokuto’s volleyball addled brain and sooner rather than later he wondered if he hadn’t developed feelings for Kuroo in return. It wasn’t like he was oblivious to how attractive his friend was, but in Bokuto’s mind it didn’t work that way. He liked what he liked and Kuroo had been around for so long that he never thought about how deep his feelings might run. He was just such a constant in his life that it didn’t occur to him there might be more to it, not like when he had met you. His feelings for you were instantly recognizable, but the more he delved into watching Kuroo, the more he realized those same feelings applied.

It was all very confusing to Bokuto, who usually just lived by a run and gun mentality, and tonight he was shooting his shot.

Right now Kuroo was biting his tongue so hard Bokuto was sure it was bleeding inside his mouth, and he laughed again, his answer short and bitten out. “Just going to go to bed. It’s getting too lovey-dovey in here for my tastes.”

Your heart thumped painfully in your chest, knowing that Kuroo was hurting. None of this was fair to him, but what could you do? It wasn’t like it was fair to you either, nor was it fair to Bokuto. You had made your choice-- you loved Bo and that was all there was to it. “Kuroo, I’m sorry.”

Your words caused him to falter, soft and unbearably sweet. It took everything he had to stop himself from turning around because seeing you would just make it that much harder. Sighing, he said quietly, “It isn’t your fault, _____. None of this is anyone’s fault. Except maybe Bokuto’s for bringing you around.”

He snickered at the offended squawk that left his friend who, unbeknownst to him, leaned down and whispered something into your ear.

Your eyes widened in surprise and shock, and you couldn’t find it in you to ask if he meant it, so you just stared up at him without blinking. Was he being serious?

Bo smirked at the look on your face-- it was one he would never get tired of seeing, when he surprised you by telling you something you weren’t expecting and he was very good at it-- and nodded. Helping you to stand, he patted your butt to get you moving when you just stood there for another moment, still staring at him. He was sure you were expecting a trick but if you didn’t get a move on Kuroo was going to leave and make things a lot harder.

Walking as quietly as you could and avoiding that one creaky spot by the corner of the coffee table, you came up behind Kuroo, who was just hovering in the middle of the archway. He jumped when your hand came to rest on his back, but followed your persistent tugging for him to turn around. He was several inches taller than you, which made it a bit awkward, but when he was finally facing you you looped your arms around his neck and stared up at him.

He took in your wide, nervous eyes and the way your shoulders rose and fell far too fast, then looked over your head at Bokuto. He was splayed out and relaxed on the couch watching with a smirk on his face. Kuroo would swear there was lust in those golden eyes, like he was waiting for them to put on a show.

The smirk issued a challenge and posed a question, slowly sliding down to you. Kuroo set his hands on your hips and Bokuto nodded, eyes widening the slightest bit and Kuroo groaned low in his throat. The hell was he thinking? Was he actually offering you? For that matter, were you going along with it?

When he looked down to you, his breath was literally knocked out of him at the open, hopeful look in your eyes. You were so achingly beautiful to him, need and desire shimmering in the depths of that hope. He caved with little resistance, slotting his lips against yours sloppily. You whined, standing on your toes, tangling your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. It was as soft as you had always imagined, though your fingers did get tangled in the strands. He tasted soft and sweet, his tongue gliding against yours as if savoring every second of the kiss. He was a lot gentler than you expected of him, pulling you flush against his body as his mouth moved against yours.

“Holy shit,” Bokuto whispered, drawing you both from the moment. When Kuroo pulled away to look at him, there was definitely arousal pooling in his eyes, and he shifted in his seat. Catching Kuroo looking at him, a smug grin flitted across his face, then he looked at you.

You were still staring up at Kuroo with half-lidded eyes, lips parted and a need for more written clearly on your face. Before he could give in to your begging, Bokuto called for you.

It took you a moment to register, then you were pulling away to go to Bo, stumbling a little on your way and they were both concerned until he took your hand in his. His pretty face had finally lightened up into something you were used to, open and expressive and needy. His rough hands caressed the outside of your thighs, making you squirm with desire. You needed more.

“What’s wrong, princess?” Bokuto asked, catching Kuroo’s eye behind you. Inclining his head in invitation, he watched Kuroo shake his head in confusion. It made him feel a bit bad-- he had never seen Kuroo like this before, so torn up over something, but he was equally amused. He just loved surprising people. To you, he asked, “You need something?”

You flushed red from the tips of your ears all the way down to your chest, twisting the hem of your shirt in your fingers, and shook your head.

“No? Nothing’s wrong?” Bokuto teased, easing your fingers up from their death grip. He lifted your hand to his lips and kissed the tip of each finger. You were biting your lip and looking to the side, tension resting in your shoulders. When he had told you to go kiss Kuroo, the look on your face and in your eyes had been adorable, the sight of the two of you stirring something he hadn’t expected.

It had never been in his interests to have more than one partner, especially because relationships weren’t high on his list of priorities in the first place. You had come into his life like a bright flash of sunlight through the gap in a curtain, blinding him. There had been no hesitation in his pursuit of you, though it wasn’t much of a chase since you had agreed to a date right off the bat. It had been easy with you, for the most part, because he had never lied to you about how important volleyball was to him. After a few months, it became a rhythm to meet up after practice whenever you could, and you made it a point to be there for his games. Sometimes he felt guilty, that he was neglecting you, but whenever he brought it up you would sit him down and promise him you understood.

He was undoubtedly grateful for your support, no matter how fanatical he got about his passion, and it was one of the reasons he didn’t say anything about it when you brought up dating people besides himself. The way you explained it made sense to him-- but your needs were more complex than his, he had to admit. He felt no burden* from your need for attention, but if you needed more than he could give you, he would let you go. 

But you stuck around, and that was more than he could have hoped for given how busy he was. It seemed he might have the solution now, if you and Kuroo wanted it.

“Kotaro, what is all this about?” Kuroo asked, cutting into Bokuto’s pondering. First name use, huh? He was catching on. 

Bokuto smiled at him, happy and light and manipulative, causing Kuroo to sigh. If he was right, then he was going to get his number one wish of the last six months. A part of him was almost scared to find out what would come of it, but the other, louder part of him hardened in his slacks.

Bokuto snickered and urged you to turn around, preening when you did so willingly. Your head was still swimming with trepidation, your heart racing with hope and exhilaration. Kuroo seemed to have a better grasp of whatever Bokuto was getting at than you did, but it wasn’t hard to gather how far he was planning to let this go. His hands were warm on your thighs, sliding up, up, up, underneath his jersey that hung two times too large on your body.

Kuroo gulped, you could see his Adam’s apple bob in his slender throat as inch after inch of bare skin was revealed, and he took it all in with a hungry stare. He wasn’t even pretending he wasn’t interested, not now that Bokuto had all but spoken his consent.

You trusted him enough in that, and you had no interest in stopping him either.

There was an audible intake of breath from Kuroo when you took over pulling the shirt over your head. It hit the floor with a whisper of sound, easily obscured by the low groan emanating from Kuroo.

How many times had he pictured you like this, naked and so fucking willing for him, only to be flooded with shame immediately afterwards? Looking down at him as you rode him or up at him as you sucked his cock, lips stretched around him-- in any scenario you were fucked out and drooling, begging him for more.

There was no shame this time as he stared at you while Bokuto peeked over your shoulder wearing a smug expression that would have pissed Kuroo off in another situation. As it was, Kuroo was just itching to run his fingers all over your supple skin, leaving marks that would remind you of him come the morning. When Bokuto’s fingers started to toy with the waistband of the too short shorts you still wore, he took a step forward, but Bokuto stilled and shook his head.

“Ah, ah, not yet, Tetsu,” he said, and began to slide the fabric down. Your panties peeled away and both men could see the wetness on your folds before you began to rub your thighs together, but Bokuto wasn’t having that. “I want you to watch for a bit.”

He yanked you down into his lap, eliciting a panicked squeak, falling into his chest with your legs spread on either side of his. The silky fabric of his shorts did nothing to hide the erection grinding against your ass and you gasped.

Kuroo relaxed, trying to appear nonchalant as he leaned against the wall, but his eyes were sharp and focused on the way Bokuto’s fingers skimmed up your inner thighs all the way to your core, spreading your slick lips. “Since when are you such a tease, Ko?”

Bokuto gave his signature smirk, just one side of his mouth turning up as he rested his chin on your shoulder. “I’ve learned some things, Tetsu. Enjoying the view?” You squirmed with embarrassment in his hold, head turned to the side but it did nothing to hide the red flush on your cheeks. You were leaking all over his shorts as his thumb found your clit, swiping over it and you mewled. His other hand came up to cup one lush tit, tweaking your pretty nipple, and you clenched around nothing.

Kuroo could see the way your hole twitched, spread as it was by Bokuto’s fingers, slick dripping down the curve of your ass. He had to fight to resist the urge to palm himself, just to relieve something, and he swallowed thickly. Yes, yes he damn well was enjoying the view, and when one of Bokuto’s thick fingers slid into you, he moaned with need.

You jerked in his hold, eyes locked on Kuroo, who looked like he was going to collapse at any moment. His eyes were bright with arousal, the tent in his pants obvious though he tried to appear calm. It looked painful, but with Bokuto’s finger curling inside you while his thumb toyed with your clit, you weren’t in any position to help.

“Feel good, princess? Want another one?” Bokuto asked, snickering when you nodded mutely. The slick noises your hole was making filled the room, your head on the verge of falling back onto his shoulder, hips rocking ever so with his thrusts. When another finger was added you moaned, eyes fluttering closed and legs trying to squeeze closed around his. His lips blazed a trail up the side of your neck to underneath your jaw, teeth nipping sharply as he listened to you. “Tetsu, how does she look?”

“Breathtaking.”

The word tumbled out without thought, unable to look away from you. Though his cheeks flushed he absolutely meant it and he watched your head snap up to look at him with wide eyes. He was almost afraid he was dreaming, watching Bokuto pump his fingers in and out of you while you squirmed in his lap. Your eyes were glazed and needy, lips parted in a silent ‘o’ when he curled them up just right, your nails digging into his forearm in a white-knuckle grip. 

You whined when Bokuto pulled his fingers out of you, covered in your slick, lifting them to your lips. Bokuto perked up when Kuroo moaned, pinning him with an amused stare while your lips wrapped around them, lapping and sucking the taste of yourself.

“Want him to taste you, pretty girl?” he asked, loud enough that Kuroo could hear just to watch him perk up. There was no hesitation when you nodded, reaching out to him and he went in an instant, falling to his knees before you.

He grabbed you by the knees and pulled you down further, slinging your knees over his shoulder as he dove in. His tongue lapped at your outer lips to tease, your thighs tightening around his head every time he came close to your clit only to miss. When he looked up, your head was back on Bokuto’s shoulder, tits being fondled by your partner as he watched Kuroo eat you. 

He groaned, drinking in the taste of you and when one finger teased your entrance, you spasmed, jerking your hips up seeking more.

“Tetsu, please,” you whined, reaching one hand up into Bo’s hair while tangling the fingers of your other in Kuroo’s, urging him forward, and who was he to deny you when you asked oh so nicely?

Wrapping his lips around your neglected clit, he sunk in, moaning at just how fucking wet you were. You parted so easily for him that he dipped a second in and you squeezed his head between your thighs, moaning his name again.

“Fuck,” Bo whispered, voice hoarse as he watched Kuroo eat you out. He let go of your breasts to grip beneath your knees, holding you open and Kuroo glanced up, catching the way Bokuto stared with undisguised desire. “Why did we not do this sooner?”

Pulling back, he let loose a smug grin, his thumb replacing his lips around your clit. “Didn’t take you for a voyeur, Ko,” he said, thrusting his fingers up and grazing the soft spot inside you. 

“I wasn’t until just now,” he muttered, holding your trembling legs tighter. Your fingers were tugging at his hair harder, so he knew you were close, your juices leaking all over Kuroo’s hand and filling his ears with slick noises.

You gasped, feeling the coil tighten, ready to break and you let them know, eyes fluttering shut as you rocked your hips into his fingers. “Please, Tetsu, please, I wanna cum--”

“Then cum, pretty girl,” he growled, circling your clit harder. He could feel you fluttering around them, squeezing tight and your lips parted, a moan ripping out of you as heat washed through you, legs fighting against Bokuto’s hold. Kuroo kept it up as you cried out, riding you through it until you relaxed into Bo’s chest, panting. “Fuck, I knew you’d cum so pretty, kitten,” he rasped, pulling his fingers from you. 

Before he could lick your essence off of them, Bo grabbed his hand, drawing it slowly towards his mouth. Their eyes locked and you watched as Bo hesitated for a split second before drawing them between his lips, lapping at the pads of his fingers and further.

“Holy shit,” Kuroo whispered, eyes wide at the sight of his best friend swallowing his fingers. The look in his eyes made his cock twitch with want, imagining them wrapped around his thick shaft, lapping and sucking. Unable to handle it, he ripped his fingers away, carding them through his hair as he asked, “Can I-- Can I kiss you, Ko?”

Bokuto hummed, eyes thoughtful as he cupped his chin. Kuroo could tell he was teasing and quirked a brow at this new side to his friend.

“I’ve never kissed a dude before. Never really wanted to either,” Bokuto admitted, though he didn’t look or sound ashamed. In fact, he sounded curious, and Kuroo smirked.

“Not much different than kissing _____, though you might like it more,” he teased, guiding Bo’s head to hover just beneath his lips, caging you between the two of them. He waited, letting him make the decision and with his usual tenacity, he dove right in, sweeping his tongue across the seam of Kuroo’s lips. They parted and he was overwhelmed by the aftertaste of energy drinks and cherry chapstick. He had always imagined kissing Bo would be an experience, especially with how many times he had watched him makeout with you, but it was entirely different now. Kissing Bo felt like he was drowning in him, leaning in for more even though he wasn’t holding anything back.

When they pulled apart, Kuroo was panting, pupils blown wide. He followed after Bo, wanting more, but was stopped by a hand on his cheek. 

“I didn’t know you were so needy,” Bokuto said, and it was impossible to ignore the deep timbre giving away how affected he was. “I say we continue this in the bedroom, hm?” He looked down at you, and you nodded, still looking a little fuzzy from watching them kiss. “Good, let’s go.”

Kuroo helped you to your feet, drinking in the sight of you proudly naked, while Bo took your other hand. He pulled off his shirt as soon as your bedroom door was shut behind Kuroo, who almost choked at the sight. Bo was built like a Greek god, all bulky muscle; he couldn’t even think about moving without flexing. 

He felt fingers on the hem of his own shirt and looked down to find you tugging at it, and he let you pull it up and over his head, stooping down just so you could. Bokuto had already kicked his shorts off towards the laundry basket, missing by a mile while you undid the button of his pants. His cock throbbed when your fingers grazed over it as you pulled them and his boxers down, falling to your knees while they pooled at his ankles. 

A loud moan ripped from him when your hand gripped his base with your soft hand, head thumping back into the door. You started with light touches, nuzzling and kissing his cock like you were worshipping it and, when his eyes finally opened again, he found Bo staring, licking his lips. His hand was around his own cock, pumping slowly as he watched you take Kuroo into your mouth at last, and then he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore.

His fingers tangled in your hair, just holding it back as you bobbed up and down his length, tongue tracing the vein and swirling around the head, not really giving him enough to cum but damn if it didn’t feel good. When he looked down at you again finally, he found you staring up at him, eyes bright and teary, and then Bo’s hands were on your cheeks, pulling you off of him.

“‘M startin’ to feel a little jealous, babe,” he whined, though Kuroo could detect no hint of it in his voice. If anything, he sounded antsy as he pulled you to your feet and kissed you, delving his tongue between your lips. Backing you into Kuroo, he hooked his arms underneath your knees and Kuroo took the hint, helping him lift you up so that your legs were spread wide, Bo’s length sliding against your wet slit. You weighed nothing to him and he often liked to use his strength to trap you, bouncing you on his cock at his whim. This time was no different, your whines music to their ears as he prodded at your slick hole.

“There’s something I’ve always wanted to try,” he grunted as he filled you, splitting you around his thick head. You were so tight, sucking him in and mewling in his ear for more, tugging at his hair as he seated himself fully inside of you. Kuroo watched the whole thing with a slack jaw, touching his cock just to ease the ache of watching you beg for Bokuto’s cock. “Think you could take both of us, baby?”

The noise of agreement you made went straight to Kuroo’s cock, his hand suddenly not enough for him. When you turned to look at him, yanked your head back by the hair and slammed his lips against yours. Breathless, he asked, “Are you sure? You don’t have to, we can wait--”

You cut him with a whiny plea against his lips. “Yes, yes, Tetsu, I want you both to fuck me.”

Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined this outcome, but as your cunt stretched around him, whining and clawing at Bokuto’s shoulders as you let him in too, it was his new favorite fantasy.

“Fuck,” he groaned when his hips met yours. You were crying, pussy fluttering around them at the fantastic stretch, and he stilled inside to let you get used to the feeling. You were limp between them, your head resting on Kuroo’s shoulder while they held you up. “So tight, princess, shit.”

You knew he had a filthy mouth, but hearing him now while he praised you made you whine, and Bokuto snickered.

“She just loves being told how good she feels, how pretty she is when she’s being fucked. She’ll do anything if you do, won’t you, baby?” he said. His hips began to rock, testing if you were ready, and your mouth opened in a silent cry when the crown of his cock ground past that sweet spot inside you. He couldn’t have missed it if he tried, and when he pushed back in, Kuroo pulled out.

They set up a steady rhythm, pounding into you so you were never empty, sometimes pushing back in at the same time just to hear you cry out. You could only let them use you as they wanted, nails perpetually digging into Bokuto’s broad shoulders and a litany of cries and moans fleeing your lips.

The heat was building up in your stomach and every time Bo’s hips met yours, he ground into your clit, forcing his cock just a little bit further. His fingers had a death grip on your ass, squeezing and kneading the flesh like Kuroo was doing to your tits, plucking and pulling your hard nipples as he whispered how good you felt into your ear.

“Ko, please-- Tetsu, I’m gonna--” you cried, tightening your thighs around Bokuto’s hips but you only spurred them on further, their hips slamming into yours at a faster pace. Your back locked, forcing your tits out and Bokuto’s eyes locked on the way they bounced, licking his lips.

“Come on,” he grunted, using some of his brute strength to make you bounce, your breasts jiggling with each hard thrust. When Kuroo’s hand slid down your ribs and over your stomach, your breathing hitched, the coil wound so tight it was painful. It snapped when his fingers grazed your clit at the same time they buried inside you.

You clapped your hand over your mouth to hold in the scream, hips jerking and twitching in their hold as Kuroo continued to assault your clit. He pulled out of you, leaving his cock achingly hard but it was worth it to see you ravaged by Bokuto’s insane pace when he set your back to the wall, your toes curled as he pounded into your overstimulated pussy. You were crying again, wailing his name until he stilled inside you with a grunt, massive frame curled down over yours as he spilled inside your cunt.

Panting, he pulled back to see Kuroo working his hand up and down his shaft, using your slick as lube with his lip pulled between his teeth as he watched you.

“Think you can take care of him still, baby?” Bokuto asked, setting you on your feet. 

You nodded, falling to your knees-- your legs weren’t going to hold you up anyway-- and beckoned Kuroo over to you. He stumbled in his haste to get to you, resting his arms against the wall above your head as you swallowed his cock in one fluid motion.

You were making the most obscene noises as you choked, working him down into your throat as fast as you could without hurting yourself, and Kuroo watched it all with wide, needy eyes. The sight of your nose burying in his curls was what did it, and he choked out a curse as he came down your throat. You swallowed around him and he thought he might lose his mind, gathering your hair up to hold you down until he was spent.

Helping you to your feet, the three of you stood there for several moments gathering your breath, staring at each other with amused wonder.

“Well, that was fun,” Bokuto said, the first to recover. He looked far too self-satisfied for Kuroo’s liking.

You snorted in amusement, limping over to your drawer to pull out another shirt, since the one you had been wearing was still out in the living room. You were in desperate need of a shower and sleep, and you had to hurry before Bo got a second wind.

“So what now?” Kuroo asked, watching you with a raised brow. There was smug pride in his smirk and it must have shown because you turned to glare at him.

“Dunno, what do you want?” Bokuto asked, sliding his boxers back on. He fully intended to join you in the shower, so he fetched a fresh pair from his own drawer, giving you a cheeky grin when you made a face. “If you want a relationship, I’m down.”

They both looked to you then, and you rolled your eyes. “I’ve liked Kuroo for ages, so you don’t even have to ask me.”

“Then it’s settled,” Bokuto said, clapping his hands. “Besides, I like the idea of her not being lonely, since I’m so busy with volleyball and all. And I know I can trust the two of you together.”

He said it with such confidence that both of you were filled with warm affection and happiness, knowing that he believed you wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. And you wouldn’t-- you both loved him too much.

“Alright, shower and then bed. I’m exhausted,” you said, punctuating it with yawn. You stretched your arms over your head and heard an intake of air and, when you opened your eyes, you found them both wearing predatory expressions. “No, no no no. I am sore and tired and--”

“Awe, just one more,” Bokuto said, voice cajoling, and Kuroo nodded in agreement, following Bo as he crowded you against the dresser.

“I have class in the morning, I won’t be able to walk,” you whined, even as you let them pull your shirt back off. It hit the floor and was promptly forgotten as fingers danced up your thighs and over your ribs, more prodding your already abused hole still dripping cum. 

Kuroo snickered, his fingers sliding into your pussy again and you shuddered against him, still sensitive. “Ko can carry you, it’ll be fine*.”

“Oh fuck me,” you whined when Bo’s lips latched onto your nipple, and you tugged at his hair in a futile gesture. You were already gone and everyone knew it.

“That’s the plan, princess.”

⇥  masterlist

⇥  taglist: @sluttony​, @visaintes​, @yunhosblackgf​, @super-noya​, @byebyes-world​, @newfriendjen​

[myherowritings]

All That Ass

— One night at the gym, you see a handsome guy with so much ass, you take a picture on the sly and send it to your number neighbor, Bakugou, to freak out over. But what you don’t expect is for him to reply with a picture of you from the same gym.

pairing: bakugou katsuki x f!reader word count: 1,876 genre: number neighbor au!!, fluff

a/n: this is a bonus “what if” scenario based on these asks i received about baku and y/n meeting at the gym while he’s doing leg/butt day LOLOL,, just to be clear, this isn’t a canon part of the nn-verse! it’s just a hypothetical oneshot answering the question “what if they had met this way” AND I THINK IT’S SUPER CUTE!! i hope you enjoy and pls lmk what you think !! xx

“So… Does anyone want to go to the gym with me?” you asked cheerfully, sending a pointed look Shinsou’s way.

You knew Midoriya had already gone this morning (though, if you asked, there was no doubt in your mind he would go again), and Todoroki had just come back from swimming laps at the pool, so your roommate, Shinsou, was your best bet.

Too bad said roommate would rather stay home and play outdated games than workout with you. 

When he didn’t reply for a solid five minutes, you poked him on the bicep-- How he actually had muscles considering how lazy he was would undoubtedly remain the world’s biggest mystery. 

“Hello? Earth to Shinsou?”

He slowly tore his gaze away from the television, looking up at you from his seat on the couch. “Did you say something?”

Giving him your best smile while fluttering your lashes, you sang, “Does the best roomie in the world want to go to the gym with me?”

“No.” Shinsou hardly blinked. 

Your mouth formed a small ‘o’. “Wha--? That’s it? You’re not even going to give an excuse?”

“Nope. Just go by yourself,” he dismissed. “You always talk about how you’re a ‘strong, independent woman’, correct?” 

You scratched the back of your neck-- A habit you picked up from him over the years. “Well, yes…”

“And strong, independent women should be able to go to the gym by themselves, right? 

The only way you could respond was with an incredulous nod. 

“Glad we could agree,” said Shinsou with a wry smile. “Have fun at the gym, then!”

“I… Thank you…?”

And with a slightly confused expression you grabbed your keys and duffle bag and walked out of the door to the recreation center near your apartment, vaguely hearing Shinsou chuckling in the background.

It wasn't until you felt the chilling breeze of the outdoors that you snapped out of your trance. 

“Dammit,” you muttered under your breath. How was he always so persuasive? Sure, at times you could be the slightest bit gullible, but regardless, his skills were almost inhuman.

You huffed, shaking your head as you entered the reception area of the gym. After showing the workers your membership and brushing your hair out of your face, you headed upstairs to do some cardio. 

“Excuse me, are you done with the StairMaster?” you asked the blond-haired guy wiping down the only open machine. 

A bead of sweat trailed down the side of his face to his neck and you had to avert your gaze before he could catch you gawking. 

“Just finished,” he said, his voice a gruff timbre that was surprisingly pleasant to the ear. He finished wiping down the handles and nodded your way. “Go for it.” 

You beamed, setting your water bottle and phone on the machine to get situated. “Thank you so much!” 

He huffed. “Yeah, whatever.” 

That wasn’t exactly a warm ‘you’re welcome’, but you shrugged it off with a small smile, stepping on the stairs and starting a light warmup. 

You placed your earphones in and played some music to set the mood, ready to work up a sweat. Cardio was a pain, but it was worth it if it meant having a nice butt. (As well as making your heart stronger and increasing your lung capacity, you supposed, but those were mere seconds to the booty gains.) 

As you upped the speed and got into the swing of things, you felt your eyes wandering around the room to your favorite part of the gym-- The squat and deadlift area. You noticed a handful of people were littered among the equipment and after your short inspection, you hummed to yourself.

Yup, things were definitely looking good there.

Absentmindedly, you saw your screen light up out of the corner of your eye and you unlocked your phone, briefly checking your messages. Or rather, checking for a certain message from a certain someone.

Still no reply? you sighed, placing your phone back on the StairMaster and trying to distract yourself by looking back at the students doing some leg exercises.

Almost instantaneously, your eyes were drawn to the blond who was using the cardio stairs just before you came. 

StairMaster plus squatting what was easily 75 kilograms within ten minutes? You had to stop yourself from practically swooning on the spot. That was some serious gluteal strength he must’ve had.

He was finishing up his current rep of back squats, cheeks flushed pink and hair sticking to the sides of his face with sweat. Not only did he look unfairly handsome, but he had a hot body as well. 

His arms were toned with a nice amount of muscles on his biceps and triceps--oh, goodness, his triceps were really something else--and he had impeccable posture as he squatted. (Not that his posture was the first thing you noticed about his squat, of course.)

You were staring so intently at this beautiful specimen of a man that he himself noticed, pausing briefly to try to find the source of the laser beams he felt on his behind. Before he could catch you gawking, however, you tore your gaze away and grabbed your phone, trying to pretend you were on it this whole time. 

When he looked away, you sighed in relief, opening your camera app and peering at him through the screen.

You weren’t sure why, but you had a gut feeling your number neighbor, Bakugou, would’ve loved to share this beautiful sight with you. He seemed to be having a bad day and you figured a nice booty would be just the thing to cheer him up. So, really, you only wanted to take a picture of the hot gym guy out of the kindness of your own heart. 

After snapping the photo, you sent a quick series of texts freaking out to your ‘bakubestie’ along with an attachment of the image of the blond guy’s backside.

Y/N: *Attachment: 1 Image*

Y/N: HDJSJDJD IK I’M LIKE QUADRUPLE TEXTING RN AND I’M SORRY (but rly what’s new)

Y/N: BUT I THOUGHT YOU WOULD APPRECIATE THIS PIC IDK WHY DON’T QUESTION MY IMPULSES OK

Y/N: i’m at the gym and this hot (albeit a lil bit of a grumpy grump :/) guy is here and woW

Y/N: like i’m just trying to work out in peace but his ass is all “hi there (       )(       ) how are you (       )(       )” AND I FEEL SO ATTACKED,, how is one person allowed to have all that ass? save some for the rest of us pls bro

After getting a good percentage of your thoughts and thirst out, you let out a sigh of liberation, upping the intensity of the StairMaster to further get your jitters out.

As you continued scrolling through your phone to check for texts from your roommates, you heard a bark of incredulous laughter from the other side of the room. You distractedly looked up, but after seeing nothing out of the ordinary other than the hot guy grinning at his phone, you shrugged and placed your cell down to get back to your workout.

The intense climbing only lasted for about three minutes before you got a text message from Bakugou (which you knew only because his text tone was ‘It’s so fluffy!’ from Despicable Me while everyone else’s was the default chime). A bright smile made its way to your face as you lowered the speed once again, taking a drink from your water bottle to cool down before eagerly glancing at your screen. 

bakubestie: *Attachment: 1 Image*

Curiously, you took a look at the picture Bakugou sent. It was one of someone in the gym that looked quite similar to the one you were in, wearing the same workout clothes you were currently wearing… In fact, it looked like the photo was taken just now from inside the room, right next to the squatting area… 

bakubestie: Too much ass, huh? I could say the same about you

You blinked, taking a few moments to process just what exactly was happening before you yelped in surprise. “What the--?!” 

Your face fumed, head snapping up from your phone so fast you lost your balance and tripped on the incoming stair of the machine. Losing footing, you barely had time to let out a brief, “Oh, shit!” before falling down the StairMaster and onto your butt on the hard floor. 

“Ouchie…” 

There was a moment of silence before a booming laughter was heard from the opposite side of the room, and a mixture of dread and excitement filled your stomach.

Dread because if your suspicions were correct, the guy from the gym you were thirsting over to your number neighbor was your number neighbor. And excitement because--hello--you were finally going to meet your number neighbor! (That was, of course, if he didn’t run out of the gym at the very moment.) You were so excited that you couldn’t even dwell on the utter embarrassment any normal person would probably be feeling.

The scuffling of footsteps moved closer as you rubbed the side of your hip that landed on the ground. 

“Tch,” you heard from above you. You looked up to see an amused expression on the blond gym guy’s face as he extended a hand out to you and checked for any injuries. “You really are a dumbass.” 

Your heart skipped a beat at his all too familiar tone, and you winked cheekily at him while accepting his hand and standing upright. “And you really have a nice ass.” 

Bakugou rolled his eyes as he fought off the blush on his face, your compliment catching him off guard. “Okay, well-- Now I know for sure it is you.”

With an excited grin, you jumped up and down on the balls of your feet. You were filled with nerves and butterflies and you wanted nothing more than to tackle your number neighbor into the biggest hug you could muster.

“You are okay though, right?” he asked, the smallest hint of worry in his features. 

The little crinkle between his brows was so adorable that you just couldn’t help yourself. Your grin widened even more and your face began to hurt from smiling so much. You were certain you looked like a fool, but you didn’t care. 

Before you could second guess yourself, you stood on your tiptoes and threw your arms around his neck to tackle him into a proper bear hug. Bakugou was still a bit sweaty and warm from working out--and you most definitely you weren’t looking any better yourself--but that didn’t change the fact that he felt cozy and safe and smelled faintly like your favorite caramel treat at the candy store. 

“Yes. I’m better than okay,” you murmured into his shoulder. “It’s nice to meet you, bestie.” 

Bakugou froze in shock before letting out a breathy chuckle, slowly wrapping his arms around your waist as you shifted so your head rested against his chest. His hand lingered on the small of your back as he peer down at you with what looked like a smile of his own and you wished you could capture that moment in a frame and relive it forever.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Y/N.” 

[squishneedsahero]

Not So Typical. Weird.

All or Nothing

Part 1 of 1

Word Count: 2930

Uhhh idk y'all I have cravings and just need to get them out. As always no smut cause we sex repulsed up in this house babes. Anyways this is a Loki x Bucky x Reader imagine. And also the reader is a werewolf.

Like I said it's a lot and idk but I needed it to be written

Weird. Weird was the only way you could describe your life. First off was the fact that you were a werewolf. Yes like a full on werewolf, a night with a full moon? You completely lost ability to control yourself, you had to chain yourself up to protect everyone in the vicinity. The rest of the time you were mostly fine, at night you could take your werewolf form by choice and control yourself, it was only nights with a full moon that left you deranged. The rest of the time you were just you, a person, with an unusually acute sense of smell and some other wolf like traits.

The nights you chained yourself were the worst. You'd fall asleep a good while before it got dark, always bored by the fact that you were stuck and didn't want anything you could tear to shreds near you. Then hours later you'd wake up, on the floor feeling worse than hungover, and have to slowly unravel the chains from around yourself, pick up anything you had broken, patch the inevitable holes in your wall and place the rug Mack over the torn up flooring.

At least, it had been this way for years, more recently you'd found a good use for all of this werewolf stuff. One night you'd gotten out of your chains and had been causing horror in the forest surrounding the small upstate town you lived in. You had caused enough problems that the Avengers were called in to keep you from murdering anyone.

Finally when you changed back to yourself and woke up they talked it out with you. It wasn't any different to them than Hulk getting out of control, but it wasn't safe for you to keep living in your ruined apartment where no one could keep an eye on you on those nights. That was how you'd found yourself forced to move into the Avengers compound.

It wasn't all bad, you had a secure room you could tear up on nights of the full moon, and plenty of attractive heroes to spend time with. For a while you lived there as more of a guest than prisoner until at some point some idiots decided to attack the compound. That's when you finally revealed you could make controlled changes other nights. You had been an amazing addition to their team and that was how you'd become an avenger a couple years prior.

Your life had only gotten better from there, it was like you had a family. You hadn't had one of those before, moving from foster home to foster home until you were 16, when you had somehow become a werewolf. You had no idea if you'd been but or if it was just in your genes and finally activated but it was what it was. You'd run for it at that point, able to survive on your own until you were 18, thanks to the fact that being part wolf allowed you to just live in the forest and not have to worry so much about what you ate.

Your life was going smoothly up until about a year ago. That was when, a few weeks apart some new members joined the team.

First there was Loki, he hadn't paid you any attention until that first night you transformed when he was around. Something about the way you couldn't control your actions in that form and the fact that you could change, it fascinated him. He had slowly begun to spend more time with you, asking questions about your abilities and so on. It was through all of this that you had grown close to him, probably the only person he was close too and would let get close to him.

The second one to come was Bucky, Steve's childhood friend. He had been rescued from Hydra and rehabilitated, you'd just been being friendly, making sure he was comfortable in the compound since you'd been in that spot a few years prior. The both of you had become fast friends, having a similar sense of humor and enjoying laughing at Steve.

The three of you would hang out together, watch movies as you caught the both of them up on earth culture that they'd have no idea about. It was behind your back during these times of all of you hanging out that Loki and Bucky would be glaring at each other, making rude comments to each other when you left the room and competing for your attention.

The two were good at hiding it from you, but not the others, especially not Thor and Steve. Thor and Loki were brothers, and Bucky and Steve might as well have been brothers. They could easily see how they would restrain themselves from lashing out at each other in your presence, forcing themselves to simple glares and stealing your attention from the other.

This competition made it awkward for anyone who was in the room with the two of them when you weren't there as well. Which had lead to the three of you spending more time alone as no one wanted to get in between the two when you weren't there.

It went on for months, and you were oblivious, until, one night with a full moon. You'd warned them that you wouldn't be able to join them that evening as you needed to lock yourself up. It was an especially rough night for you, and the two idiots hadn't been able to keep themselves away and listen to your cries from outside the cell.

They'd both burst in, wanting to comfort you, and you unable to control your actions attacked them. You'd always been starving those nights, ravenous for any game you could hunt down. Human or not it made no difference to you, it was as you lunged that they realized their mistake. They had to work together to restrain you, leading to the three of you laying on the floor of the cell together as they held you.

You had struggled all night, and as always when you changed back you instantly passed out from exhaustion. The two were also tired out from having to hold you down all night to prevent themselves from dying. It was then and there that they had silently agreed that they would work together to protect you at all costs. They didn't get up, and neither did you, that day the padded floor was your bed.

When you woke up the two of them were wrapped around you, fast asleep. You were trapped in their embrace, since you were only human when you weren't a wolf and the two of them had super strength. They had slept for a while longer, keeping you trapped there for long enough to come to the realization that they'd been competing for your attention for months.

When they did wake up and realized that they were cuddling not only you but also each other they jumped away from the embrace. Leaving you to suddenly flop to the floor since you'd been being supported by the two men. You groaned and sat up to stretch, looking at the both of them as they, embarrassedly, avoided eye contact.

"I hope the both of you know you're idiots. I'm going to have to make sure the others keep you out of here from now on, I don't want to hurt you."

Bucky mutters something about it being worth it to keep you comfortable.

"I'm Asgardian, even in your wolf form you cannot harm me," Loki protests.

Bucky laughs, "yeah, keep telling yourself that. I'm pretty sure she would have torn you to shreds had I not also been here."

You sigh and shake your head as you get up off the floor, letting yourself out to go find something to eat and leaving them where they were on the floor.

They must have figured something out that night, come so some sort of conclusion about their shared feelings for you and wanting to keep you out of harms way. The two approached you while you were eating practically everything you could find in the kitchen. They both then and there admitted their feelings, and asked you to choose, they didn't want to be fighting over you anymore.

You'd silently looked at the both of them as you finished your food, not giving a response after you'd gotten up to get your second cup of coffee. "I'm not choosing," you state simply, and when they both open their mouths you continue before they can interject. "You two are my best friends, and I've realized I have been oblivious to both of your advances. But you cannot make me choose between the two of you, I won't loose a friendship over this... plus I don't think I could choose if my life depended on it."

They were both completely confused at this point, not having a single clue where you were going with this.

"Look," you say firmly, "both of you like me. I like both of you. I'm not loosing my best friendships over something as dumb as choosing one man over another." You pause, deciding to just say what you were thinking, "if the two of you can overcome your differences the three of us could be together. All or nothing. If you cannot do this then I suggest the both of you get over it and know we will be nothing more than friends. I'm going to go shower and get changed and the two of you can come find me when you've talked it out."

With that you walked out of the kitchen and to your bedroom, leaving them to stare at your back and then each other in shock. You go and take a nice long shower that is much needed, sure, you were worried about how they'd react. If they'd both start ignoring you and you'd loose those friendships after all that, or if maybe the three of you could be something more together. Sure you had thought about it before that point but you'd been oblivious to their advances and you hadn't wanted to start a love triangle. But then, as you were lying on the floor in both of their arms you'd come to the realization, if they were willing to give it a try why couldn't you all be together.

It would keep you from having to choose, hopefully keep from jealousy and maybe the two could see they didn't need to fight over your attention. But who knows, maybe the idea disgusted them, and would just scare them away. You shake the thoughts from your mind and relax the rest of the time you're in the shower.

You exited your bathroom fully dressed, with a towel in your face as you dried your hair. It wasn't until you dropped your towel in the laundry basket and turned around that you saw both Bucky and Loki standing awkwardly in your room waiting for you.

"So?" Is all you can bring yourself to ask, the courage you had last time you'd faced them was all but gone.

They share a glance with each other then look back at you, "we're willing to give it a go, for you," Bucky says.

"Yes, we are," Loki confirms. "It was rude of us to try and make you choose, we have no right to demand that of you, and we would like to apologize."

"We aren't exactly sure how it'll work out... seeing as we haven't done anything but see each other as competition but we'll give it a shot to make you happy," Bucky concludes for the two men.

You can't stop the huge grin that breaks out across your face as they speak, running over and hugging them both tightly as soon as they finish. "Thank you- thank you for understanding-" you look at the two, who only have their arms around you, but that's fine.

You look at them, wanting to kiss the both of them, but how to go about that without jealousy with who you kiss first you had no idea so you just saved that problem for later. "I'm still exhausted from last night... I'm going to take a nap, would you like to join me?"

They both agree to it, Bucky had changed since you'd shredded his clothes the night before. Loki had used magic at some point to either protect or change his clothes so he was already good to go. The three of you climb into your bed and it's comfortable, one of them on either side of you, and you expect to fall asleep quickly.

Things don't always life up to your expectations though. The two men were obviously still tired as well and they fell asleep before you. Even in their sleep they were fighting over you as though you were a blanket they had to share.

It was kind of cute and made your heart flutter, but you'd never be able to sleep like this. You aren't quite sure how you manage it but you get them to come closer together, throwing a leg over Bucky and using his chest as a pillow while Loki acted as your big spoon. After you get into this position the two seem content, and finally stop tugging you back and forth, and you fall asleep in their arms.

This cuddly tug of war had gone on for months. But slowly the two realized that the other wasn't so bad. There was less bickering and they even seemed to enjoy the other's company at some moments. Everyone noticed and wondered how the hell you'd tamed the two.

You kept the relationship quiet, not mentioning it to anyone since it was still kind of just a trial period. You had no idea how long they'd be able to stand this situation so you were going to make the most of it. At least that was the plan until one day things just kind of flipped. Suddenly you'd enter a room and they wouldn't be sitting apart as they waited for you, but they'd be sitting next to each other, sometimes even hugging. It all became real when you'd walked in for one of your planned cuddle sessions after a night of a full moon, to find the two men not only waiting on your bed for you but they had started the kissing without you! Needless to say after you arrived all of you had some fun that day despite your exhaustion.

Yet, things were quiet about the three of you being together. Sure they had ideas of what might be happening but no one had any proof. At least they didn't until one night the three of you were watching a movie together and had fallen asleep towards the end. The next morning they'd found you three on the couch, with Loki and you sandwiching Bucky between you. Loki's tall slender form was the big spoon, with one arm clearly wrapped around Bucky's waist. Then there was you, somehow wrapped around the two men, a leg thrown over theirs arms around their shoulders and hands in their hair. Bucky had his arms tightly around you, holding you to his chest and Loki's other hand had found it's way to act as your pillow.

After this, there were no doubts, money might have been exchanged to settle bets. But also the three of you never heard the end of it.

"You three should get a room."

"Aww it's cute Bucky and Loki decided to let you be their teddy bear."

"So which one do you love more?"

That last question was the first and last time anyone tried to ask that. The death glares from you and Bucky, plus the fact you had both whispered something to Loki and he'd glared for a moment longer before a mischievous smile flashed across his face. Yeah, there was still plenty of teasing but none of them made comments like that anymore. Who knows what you and Bucky would have let Loki do if they had.

The three of you are still practically inseparable, you had always been close to each other before this started but now Bucky and Loki were close as well. Things were perfect, except for the fact that they still tried to sit with you through the full moon nights. You'd had to make absolutely sure with Tony that neither of them could get into that room. Magic, technology and everything was put into preventing it. You tried to convince them that it wouldn't be so bad to just cuddle each other on the nights you could be there. They didn't like it, and would whine when you had to leave them but the promise of plenty of cuddles after while you recovered your energy as enough to keep them from finding a way to break into the cell.

So yeah, things were weird, but a good weird. You, your two boyfriends who kissed you and each other. It wasn't normal or typical but the three of you were happy. Misfits who had hurt people in their lives and come to regret it, who'd found each other and helped each other be better. All of you had bad nights with nightmares but with two people who loved you to hold you as each of you went through it, things became bearable. Things were far from perfect but they were your not normal, not typical weird that to you was everything.

[janetbrown711]

“I’ve got you. You’re safe” yakko to Wakko after there parents.... um yeah idk like nightmare in orphanage I hate myself

Yakko was eight years old, but somehow he already knew he had seen more than others should in a lifetime. 

Yakko had never liked the idea of war, but his father never failed to reassure him that it wouldn’t come to that. He said wars were better fought with words than death and destruction, and that their kingdom and castle were strong and nothing bad was ever going to happen to them. Yakko had believed him, but asked too many questions. His father had sent him off to play with his siblings. 

His mother had just set Dot down for bed. Wakko was playing in the playroom while Queen Angelina II sat and smiled at Wakko fondly. Yakko had complained when Wakko said he wanted to play with him. His mother scolded him softly, whispering that she’d give him a treat later if he and his brother got along. He had agreed to play, though he had been disagreeable most of the time, though the four-year-old didn’t seem to notice. 

There had been a loud crash, windows breaking. The Queen had jolted to life, having been practically asleep by then.

“What was that mummy?” Wakko tugged on his mother’s sleeve. 

“Yakko, watch over your brother. I’ll be back in a moment, I promise,” She smiled, but Yakko could see the panic and worry in her eyes. His mother hugged her boys tightly and kissed their foreheads. 

“I’ll be back in a moment, I’m just going to check on your father,” She had said, trying her best to hide the negative emotions behind her kind eyes. she turned to Yakko and grabbed his shoulders. 

“If anything should happen, I need you to grab Dot and exit the castle using the servant tunnels underground. Don’t stop until you reach Acme Falls, understood?” She asked. Yakko couldn’t say he really did; She was going to come back, right? Still, he nodded. A tension seemed to release from Angelina and she smiled again. 

She went to leave but stopped hugged the boys once more. 

“I love you boys so very, very much,” She said. She kissed their foreheads again and ran out into the unknown.

Yakko hadn’t liked that. There was another crash, and Yakko heard shouting and fighting. He felt Wakko cling to his arm and look up at him worriedly. 

“Is it okay?” Wakko asked. Yakko cringed. 

“I don’t know,” Yakko admitted. They waited and sat in there for what felt like an eternity. The noises didn’t go away and only got louder and closer. Yakko felt a sense of dread crawl up his spine. 

"I’m gonna check on mom,” Yakko decided impulsively. He hadn’t liked it. He hadn’t liked it one bit. 

“Mummy said not to split,” He pouted, then added- “I wanna see dadoo.” Yakko had wanted to refuse but knew his mother knew what was best and took him along. 

Yakko had only been with Wakko for an hour, and the castle changed into an entirely different place. Broken glass was on the floor, tapestries taken down, muddy footprints were upon the once spotless marble and carpets. Wakko gripped tighter on his arm, and even kept his tongue in his mouth. 

Yakko had heard voices down the hall: angry men. They had someone. The voice was female. They were coming closer, so Yakko panicked and grabbed Wakko and went into where the maids kept the cleaning supplies. Wakko had complained, but Yakko quickly shushed him as the voices got louder. 

“What are they saying?” Wakko asked. Yakko leaned against the door and shook his head. He hadn’t been able to hear from within the closet and the voices were getting farther away. He bit his lip. 

“I’ll be right back- I’m gonna get Dot,” Yakko said.

“Why? Mummy is gonna get Dot,” He frowned. Yakko didn’t have it in him to tell his little brother why he doubted. 

“Just... stay right here. Don’t move. I’ll be back, got it?” Yakko pointed to emphasize the seriousness. Wakko nodded. 

Yakko had crept out of the closet and saw a swarm of men with torches. They were shouting at someone. Yakko took a deep breath and tried to see who it was, but was struck frozen when he saw that they had his mother, just like he had dreaded. 

“I’m not telling you where they are.” Her face was bruised and her fur was disheveled and she was bleeding. Yakko wanted nothing more than to run and to protect her, but he couldn’t move. 

“We’ll find them either way, Angelina, so how about you tell us anyway? We already killed your husband, we can kill you just as easily,” One man pointed a gun right at her head. Yakko had felt the floor drop out from under him. 

Dad. 

Dad was... was...

No. He couldn’t think about that. He had to save his mom. He had to save her. Somehow. 

He looked around for something he could use as a weapon, a sword, a large piece of wood, something. Yakko knew he wasn’t strong, especially not strong enough to take on four adult men in armor. His mind scrambled to think. 

Unfortunately, he didn’t have to. He caught eye contact with his mother accidentally, and the man threatening her noticed and saw him immediately. 

“Seize the boy,” He ordered.

“Yakko, run.” Angelina ordered. Yakko came back to life and booked it down the opposite way. His heart pounded in his chest and wind roared in his ears as he heard shouts and the clanking of armor behind him. He turned a corner and heard his mother cry out in pain, shouting things at the man, and then-

A loud gunshot rang through the hall, and his mother’s voice was silenced.

Yakko felt a sharp pain followed by a wave of numbness overtake his body and he quickly began to cry, but his pace didn’t let up. His mind throbbed, as did his chest as he lifted his heavy legs as he ran. 

He did know one thing: He had to get Dot. But he couldn’t let the men find her or Wakko. 

After running for what felt like miles, he jumped under a table and the men continued running on, even after it was apparent they weren’t chasing anyone anymore. Yakko kept a hand over his mouth and didn’t move a muscle for what felt like an eternity and his mind did it’s best to avoid thinking about what had just happened. 

Gunshot. His mother’s cries. Her pleading-

No. 

He couldn’t think like that. He had to get his sibs. 

Eventually, the hall he was in fell utterly and painfully silent and Yakko ran with all his might back to the closet where Wakko was still waiting, thank god. 

“Yakko! You’re back!” Wakko threw his arms around his older brother and Yakko couldn’t help but hug him back. 

“We have to get Dot and then get out of here,” Yakko said. Wakko didn’t argue, but it was clear he didn’t get it and was scared. Yakko bit his lip, but couldn’t think of anything comforting. He grabbed his brother’s hand and together they walked back, gingerly stepping over torn curtains, broken glass, and other destroyed furniture. Yakko couldn’t get himself to look at the half-burned painting of their family. 

He could hear Dot crying by the time he reached the nursery. 

“Yakko, I want mummy,” Wakko pulled on Yakko’s pant leg as he approached his sister’s crib. 

“Mom can’t help anymore,” Yakko said as he picked up the crying infant and tried to soothe her. 

“Why? Where’s dadoo?” Wakko pressed. 

“I don’t know Wakko. We have to go,” Yakko half lied. It was true he didn’t know his father’s location, but...

“Why?” Wakko frowned. 

“Because we aren’t safe here. We have to go to Acme Falls,” Yakko said. 

“But that’s so far!” Wakko groaned. 

“Then we better get going.” Yakko snapped at him. Wakko froze before looking at the ground and muttering to himself. Yakko had sighed as Dot’s cries ceased. 

“We just... we have to go. It isn’t safe here and mom said we have to go Acme Falls,” Yakko explained. 

“I don’t wanna go. I want to see mummy and daddy...” Wakko sniffled. 

“We can’t Wak... We have to go,” Yakko felt tears threaten to spill, but he knew he didn’t have the time, and swallowed down the pain. 

“Come on... We have a long way to go,” He offered his free hand to Wakko and the four-year-old prince took it. 

The three of them successfully got to the bottom floor of the castle, and got to the servant's quarters without a hitch. They made their way through the dark and poorly lit tunnels leading to Acme Falls, and by the time they reached their so-called “safe place”, it was morning. Wakko had all but passed out the moment they sat down in an ally outside the bakery. Dot had been asleep almost the whole night. 

He still couldn’t get himself to cry. He couldn’t admit what had happened. Even when the townspeople recognized them as the royal children and wondered what happened. Even when the town crier had come the next day to announce that the kingdom and the castle had been overtaken. Even when a nice blonde lady had taken them to the orphanage and they explained to Wakko what had happened. He hadn’t cried. He still couldn’t believe it. 

That’s where he was now. It had been three days since the attack. Yakko was sitting up in his bed, still unable to sleep, his mind stuck replaying what had happened. Wakko was making attempts to sleep and Dot was in a crib next to Yakko’s bed. 

However, just like the previous nights, Wakko had shot away and began to cry. Yakko had been waiting for that, and immediately opened up his arms to his little brother, who hugged him and sobbed into his shoulder. 

“I’ve got you Wak, you’re safe,” He soothed.

“I-i want mu-mum-mummy and d-daddy,” Wakko cried. 

“I-i know Wak... I want them too,” Yakko bit back tears of his own. 

“A-are... are they really gone Yakko?” He asked, looking him in the eyes with his own, which were red and puffy and leaking with tears. Yakko couldn’t look away, no matter how hard he tried. He knew the answer, he had heard her cries and the gunshot. He knew. 

“Yes, Wak. They’re... they’re gone,” He answered truthfully, feeling tears finally begin to stream down his face. Once they began, they didn’t stop. Wakko’s hug tightened around him and the two brothers held each other until both of their tears had run out and reality had truly set in. 

Their parents were dead, their home destroyed, and they only had each other.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

[peeterparkr]

perennial;tom holland|thirteen.

chapter thirteen: heleniums

↳ flower meaning: comfort.

chapter summary: ‘very Tom and y/n’

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: Cherry, angst, fluff if you squint, smut (?, idk if there was any it’d be after the *), this hurts, but...rollercoaster

word count: 12.3K

SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE THE CHAPTER:

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previous chapter next chapter   perennial masterlist.

perfidy  ( series masterlist)

wanna be tagged?

Hi, I’m back, super hard chapter to write, honestly. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it, happy new year. 

There were, with certainty, and exactly, three things Tom had regretted the most from that night, which, had they been avoided, he would’ve not had this mess. 

That night, not being y/n’s birthday, but the night before he slept with Cherry. It had led to the next day, and the next night, and to this mess. 

Tom had been confused, that is to say, he can’t be blamed for being confused. What had been something very, very innocent had turned into his worst nightmare. The background on his head was the peculiar reasoning behind the big decision that led to his first regret. 

The day before he slept with Cherry Tom had read the script. Not all of it, just part of it. Again, the part which had led to his broken heart. Tom regretted doing that, because the mind is such a dark place when it wants to be. Our minds are our biggest enemy, because who else knows what hurts the most than ourselves. 

Because Tom knew that the words written on that script hadn’t come from nothing. It’s what bothered him the most, is that every single word written there was completely and utterly true. 

He had been a monster. 

He regretted that, but we already knew that. 

He then had read over and over y/n’s last letter. Her telling him it was him, and no one else. Then why had she left? Why had he let her go? There was his mind telling him, being reasonable, telling him she’d left for the script, because she had. But then there was that one thought flying through his mind. She’d left and fall in love with Tim. She had once, why not twice? Y/N was vulnerable, and vulnerable hearts are easy to shape. Ghost haunting Tom’s mind, fearing he’d be buried deep in y/n’s mind. How much can a heart take? How many wounds until it finally dies. 

A flower can only bloom when it’s watered. 

He knew she’d end up forgetting him, that’s what the script said. But the letter said they’d be infinite. Would they? How many pieces were left out of the puzzle, making it unsolvable. Was she trying to get over him? 

Did he have to move on? He’d said that. She’d said that. Because it had made no sense why she left so suddenly when he’d needed her the most, to take her home and just listen to her, like she was an old song. She’d left when Tom had needed her the most,when he needed to make sure that they were supposed to love each other, to make sure he was the one. 

The second thing he’d regretted that night had been answering Cherry’s call, and accepting her offer to go out for a drink. He had been well aware of her flirting. And he’d give in because it felt like a cheap love , and he couldn’t afford for more at time, and it was easy, so unbelievable easy. Like she was giving in to him, without any ‘buts’. Without any built in walls, without any prejudice. 

He would’ve never known that he was so stupid. 

Tom had been lying when he said he hadn’t seen the next night coming. Because he’d made the decision the night before, at that one pub, with the warm beer that gave no entertainment, listening to a laugh that sounded like hers, some pair of eyes that if you tried hard enough, you could see hers. Someone so close, so near hear. And after a few more drinks, familiarity is what we all need. The hearts make the eyes see what we want to see. And if your mind is wild enough, he could pretend it was her. 

The third thing he regretted from that night, it had been leaning over to kiss Cherry, thinking that the alcohol would blind him enough to make him believe her lips were y/n’s. But when it’s not hers, then you’ll never be satisfied. 

He hadn’t been, but the lips had been welcoming. It had been him. He knew that. He’d fallen under the spell that Cherry was. 

Cherry, honestly, was a dark omen with raving hope. Tom had been a victim. Because Cherry had known what she was doing. 

But Cherry had also fallen under the lie that Tom was. Cherry, deep in her heart had known that y/n, her cousin, whom she barely knew, had something to do with Tom. She couldn’t map what, she knew they were enemies. Was there something else? He had shown up with flowers. 

Y/N when asked by Cherry, had once said only a fool would fall for Tom. 

And Cherry had been such a fool. Cherry, just like Tom, had gone through a heartbreak. An awful one, the one that makes you think that you’re not supposed to love. Cherry, had heard y/n say heartbreaks can be felt, and she agreed. Her ex girlfriend had broken up with her because she’d decided that Cherry just ‘wasn’t what she wanted’ Cherry wasn’t ‘enough to make her happy’. 

‘Cherry, you’re a season, and I need a year.’ 

It hurts. Cherry had known about it, how she was like a flower, only blooming every now and then. Not all year long. Cherry, most people said, was someone who people used, for a night. She’d known it long enough. Though Cherry is now the villain in our story, she can’t be blamed. Hearts are never easy, and hearts are vulnerable. 

And vulnerable hearts are easy to be shaped. Everyone thought Cherry was perfect, she’d hear it said, by other people, ‘oh, you’re the kind of girl that steals every glance in the room’, ‘you’re the one girl everyone wished they were’. Yet, she was never loved. 

So when Tom, trying to search for something so familiar to the one he loved, he’d made Cherry believe that she could be loved. 

She had tried not to, at first, but when Tom had kissed her that night, with those eyes he gave to y/n, but only with hopes of trying to find y/n there. And Tom hadn’t been disappointed, and he had kissed Cherry again and again. 

And while Tom was trying to find what he was looking for, not finding it, Cherry had found the one thing she’d searched for, her entire life, someone who wasn’t getting tired, someone who asked for more. 

Complicated. 

Cherry had heard it then, how Tom had left. And she was left again with those thoughts in her mind, what had she done wrong? 

James had come and told her he was forbidden territory, that Tom and y/n had a lot of story, that Cherry couldn’t go there. That she couldn’t go to Tom because he was forbidden. But how could he be? Her secret in a crowded room, how easily had she fallen for him, because he was oh, so easy to love. 

She remember the night he’d kissed her, first silence, no patience. How desperate the kiss had been, and how the whole world had stopped, because he kissed her like he loved her. 

He didn’t, but Cherry didn’t know that. Because it’s easier to believe that he wanted to take off her dress, to kiss her soul. It didn’t make sense, and she’d hidden under the lie that it’d be a rebound, a mutual agreement, but how hard had she tried to keep her hands to herself because she only wanted his hands to touch her. 

And she’d dream about him, all night long. If he’d kissed her that way, it meant he had feelings, too, right? 

What a fool Cherry had been, used as a ploy. He’d come the very next day, and there were his lips again, on her. So desperate for her. 

But Tom knew that though he had tried to kiss her like she was y/n, she wasn’t. But who wouldn’t fall for someone who is kissing you like your the love of their life? 

People can’t be replaced, we are all unique, and Tom had only realized it after Cherry’s hair was against his neck, after mistaking pleasure for passion, and after confusing lust with love. 

Problem was Tom hadn’t told Cherry, not exactly. He’d said the wrong words. 

Maybe Tom did regret a fourth thing, saying those words. “It’s the most similar thing that it’s to love, but one can’t pretend enough.” 

Cherry hadn’t understood the meaning behind that sentence. She thought he meant he loved her, while he, actually told her it wasn’t enough to be love. 

Then, gone. Gone. 

And then, y/n’s birthday had come around, and he was there, it was her time, because y/n and Cherry aren’t so different. They both wanted a fairytale. She had, indisputably, and after been told a lie, she had so foolishly tried to look for Tom. 

Love blinds us and makes us see what we want to see, and she hadn’t seen Tom and y/n. She’d seen y/n and Tim, and she’d seen Tom here and there, not with her. And she’d told her cousin, how she was deeply, madly in love with Tom and couldn’t get him out of his head. 

James had said: “you’re drunk, Cherry, dear, you can’t be in love.” 

Who was James to tell her her feelings were not hers? And she’d heard it again, from that one guy, Josh, ‘how she was the prettiest that night’, yet he’d kissed Emma. He had heard it from Tim, ‘you look stunning’, yet his eyes had been on y/n. 

And she’d been rejected, just when she’d kissed Tom, how he’d run to y/n.  Leaving Cherry, confused and heartbroken and not feeling enough, because though she’d given Tom everything, she still was not… enough. 

It had been a rough night. To everyone, really. The moment y/n had left the club, it had seemed things had turned out to be worse than imagined. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” and that sort of questions had rained over Cherry. “Tom’s y/n’s boyfriend!” 

“He is dating your cousin!” 

“You’re a slut!” 

Was she? 

Maybe she was. 

And she had reached for Tom, and she’d found him, right outside the bar, with a hand on his waist, and the other one pinching the bridge of his nose. His eyes, tired, pale and sad. 

“Tom-?” She’d said, with fear. 

Tom had flinched hearing her voice. 

Tom knew he was to blame for a lot of things. 

But not this one. Not this particular one. 

Sure, he had been angry at the statement Timothée had made but he hadn’t really known anything. As far as he could recall the events that had gone through quickly, he didn’t even remember when Cherry had approached him, honestly he was too drunk and too busy staring at y/n. 

Cherry had said something to him, she wanted to talk. She said she really wanted to talk. He didn’t. 

“Tom?” She’d asked, again. 

“What?” He had snapped. “Can’t you--Can’t--Why did you do this?” He sounded desperate, angry, hurt, enraged. 

“I… didn’t know-” 

“You didn’t know?” He asked. “You didn’t know that I’m dating-Or was dating or whatever… you didn’t know that your cousin--- you didn’t know she’s the love of my life?” 

“I didn’t,” she snapped. 

James had walked over. “You knew.” 

“I didn’t,” Cherry said, or she’d chosen not to acknowledge she did know. When you’re in love you can become the most stupid, selfish and stubborn you can be. 

“Still why-would you do this?” Tom asked. “Fuck now-Now she’ll think-Fuck, I don’t even know what she thinks.” 

Cherry watched him. She had fucked up, and judging by how everyone was coming out just to yell at her, and Tom. 

Cherry had been drunk, honestly. Everyone had been, and maybe that had been the only courage she had needed. She’d seen Timothée approaching Tom, they were yelling at each other, Tim had pushed Tom, but Tom had easily pushed him off, harder. Yelling, cursing. James trying to separate them, were they fighting? Cherry couldn’t figure out whose fist had gone to whose face. Emma still asking why she’d done it. Sam asked about it. 

Cherry was feeling sick, and she felt like she was about to vomit.  Being asked about it, over and over and over. Why she’d done it, why had she been such a bad cousin, a slut, or whatever they were saying. How Emma kept yelling at her. 

No, she wasn’t going to vomit, but Cherry wished that what had come out of her mouth had been that instead. “Because I love him!” Cherry had said. 

And suddenly the chaos ceased. And then, Cherry knew, the blame was on Tom now. No one dares to question a woman in love. Because of course, if she was in love with him, it had been something Tom had done. 

Tom hadn’t answered. He only looked at her as if asking her how she dared to be in love with him, as if he didn’t believe her.  He had only cursed to himself, he was defeated. 

He didn’t care for her, not right now. But he did feel guilty. Because Tom had been the one to listen to her heartache. 

Cherry and Tom were not so different, either. How they both feared they were not right for the person you could love. 

It’s stupid, to think that. But Tom didn’t know how to apologize to her, but honestly, he thought Cherry would get it. He hoped she did. 

He had told her, how he had had his heart broken by someone who knew how to hurt him on his open wounds , and yet she hadn’t used the one weapon to create a new one. 

Why hadnt Cherry connected the dots? Was it not too obvious that Tom’s heart belonged to y/n? Was it not expressed enough? Did his eyes stutter when seeing y/n?

Tom had only pushed Tim before getting into a car, James had gone with him. 

“Are you going to kill me?” Tom had snapped. 

“No,” James said. “I saw what happened.” 

Tom only clenched his jaw, he was stressed, angry. “I didn’t—I swear I— I wasn’t—“

“I know.”

“And now she left—“

James nodded. “With Harry.” 

Tom thought he had already erased his fears with Harry. There was that thought in his head, quietly still roaming around, loud enough but tender to be just a faint sound. Could y/n catch feelings for Harry? Because when one is vulnerable, the head can easily be molded, and shaped. He’d learned that with Cherry, he knew that’s why y/n fell in love with Tim and there was that possibility. What if this was just the only straw y/n needed? 

And why was he even thinking about that? He’d broken her heart and there was no possible way of solving this, this had been the worst outcome from all the possible scenarios that could’ve gone down, this had been the one horrible ending to y/n’s birthday. 

“Before you freak out,” James interrupted Tom’s thoughts as soon as they’d arrived to the flower shop, where Tom thought y/n would be. “It’s the best thing that could’ve happened to you.” 

“She’s not here, fuck it,” Tom said, stressed out. Had she gone home? He ordered another car. 

“Her leaving with Harry,” James said. “He’s the only one she opens up to.” 

Tom sighed. “I don’t know,” he said, staring at his phone. 

“Harry will be able to calm her, they are best friends and they haven’t-talked in a while,” James said. 

“They have, they’ve texted,” Tom snapped, knowing damn well his brother had been in touch. 

“They’re not going to fall in love,” James said. 

Tom gulped down, “How do you know that? What if-what if she’s supposed-I-” 

“Stop fucking sabotaging yourself.” 

“I-” 

“She loves you,” James said. “That’s the least fucking thing you should be worrying about, you broke her heart, she just bloody saw you kissing another woman who happens to be our own cousin, you realize that, right?” 

“Yeah-yeah-But I didn’t-” 

“I know, Tom, but she knows the background, it wasn’t the kiss, it’s what the kiss meant, y/n had been avoiding this long enough and the glass just broke down, alright?” 

Tom only cracked his fingers, one by one, nervously listening to him. “I fucked up.” 

“Yeah, you did, so let’s-” 

“Should I-call her?” 

“That’s up to you,” James said. “Why are we even here?” 

“I thought she’d be here,” Tom admitted. “The flowers calm her down,” he said. “I-I dunno, I-- she wouldn’t go back home-I mean to her place, because- or would she? If she did then--” 

“No, because then she’d face Timothée and I’m sure Harry wouldn’t let her,” James said. 

“And she wouldn’t go to my place-” Tom was shaking, but it wasn’t cold, yet he was freezing. 

“You can ask Harry,” James suggested. 

Tom knew, in his heart, that he shouldn’t call, as James had said, Y/N could only completely open with Harry, he knew that, when it came to Harry, y/n didn’t have any second guessing or she didn’t stop and think, she just blurted everything out, and maybe that’s what she needed, to let it out, calm down. 

Besides, he knew that she wouldn’t answer if he dared to call. 

James didn’t know what to tell him either, it’s not that he was on Tom’s side. James was always team y/n, but James was so bloody empathetic to Tom, they were best friends and honestly, he knew Tom didn’t mean any wrong. Besides, James had learned from Tom that he was not so bad for y/n, so similar in some ways, different enough to always have an argument but realize that they were both so incredibly similar that it was what bothered them when children, ‘how dare my enemy agree with me’, and Tom had a weak heart, not like y/n’s who could have multiple rocks thrown at her heart and she’d be fine, but Tom’s heart would break so easily, James also remembered Tom had said, a while ago, when younger, to him:“Y/N looks like the type of girl you never forget, you can’t get over her, never move on. Like that one heartbreak time can’t heal.” 

How many years had gone by since y/n had broken Tom’s heart and he probably hadn’t healed? 

And James had seen Tom, how incredibly anxious and worried he was about y/n’s birthday being perfect, and how he had, against his will, invited Timmy, because he knew that not inviting him would make y/n mad. And how he’d chosen every little aspect thinking of her.

James had underestimated Tom, and y/n. Y/N did seem to let go so easily when she was around Tom, probably because they’d seen each other’s worst and now they wanted to be the best versions of themselves. 

James had seen that. 

But Tom was so, so bloody scared of screwing up, and he kept being haunted by his actions. Tom was so sure he’d fuck up, but not this way. Not in a way that was, though partly, not entirely his fault. 

“Or—what if you call her?” Said Tom, knowing she might answer him instead. With a sort of plan to take away the phone and try and talk to her with hopes of not being hung up. 

James did, and y/n didn’t answer.

Tom did ask Harry, only to know if she was with him, and if they were safe. That’s all he needed to know for now. 

He finally decided to go home, knowing that calling her was a big risk and that she wouldn’t answer and if she did what would he say?

James had asked Clark and Sam to find elsewhere to stay. James was anxious that Clark would get scared and run away from the mess his family and friends were. 

James had tried to reach for y/n. But then he realized that a friend needed him that night. 

“What am I supposed to say now?”

“That you’re sorry for starters, tell her the truth?” James suggested matter-of-factly. 

“She’s going to think that I had feelings for Cherry,” Tom said. 

“And she did have feelings for you,” James stated. 

Tom scrunched his nose. “I didn’t know that, but is that-?”

“Your fault?” James shrugged. “Dunno. Depends.” 

“I didn’t do anything thinking she’d fall in love,” he admitted. “I-I-I thought it was clear it was--She even said it herself,” Tom said. “This is a rebound, yes, not my proudest moment and I regret doing that but-” 

James shrugged. “Honestly, Tom, you have to tell her the truth, that’s it.” 

Tom sighed, eyes closed as he shook his head. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen-” 

James only watched him. 

“I’m-” Tom took a deep breath. “I… And here goes, I hurt her again, I’m just-How can I be so stupid to keep hurting her, how did I let this happen? I… can’t be what she wrote there, I was supposed to change or give some backstory or try and mend it. It’s like- We are not going to make it. And now I hurt wounds that hadn’t been healed, I don’t know what I’m saying, it’s like the more I’m talking the more I try to mend it the less I understand the more I hurt her.” 

James kept quiet, knowing Tom needed to talk. 

“How can I hurt her so much when I love her? And yet more plan wrecked and she’s going to tell me she wants me out of her life and I don’t know what’s different from last time?” 

“That you want to solve it.” 

“I always wanted to, yet I ended up hurting her again.” 

Tom was in misery, all night, trying to find the right words he’d say. Guilt was killing him, and he saw something very familiar, he saw how Tom and y/n weren’t that  James watched Tom, and he saw someone who really was trying. James wanted to call y/n, and he wanted to know how she was doing, but he knew that he’d get no answer from her. How was she doing? 

Probably not better than Tom, who at some point had left James alone, to only remain quiet in his room. James was sure Tom was crying but he knew he didn’t want to be seen crying. 

It was a long story, between Tom and y/n, and though James didn’t understand it, he couldn’t stop himself from trying to figure it out. What happened with them that they were so drawn to each other? Did the happiness really outshine the bad moments enough to forget it? Why did they love each other so much? Because James knew why he loved Clark, but Tom and y/n? Who were they when nobody was watching them. 

Tom was never one to shut everyone out, Tom was never quiet so who was this Tom, thinking to himself, quietly, sadly. He’d never seen him like this. 

James thought Tom was preparing for a heartbreak, one he would be guilted for. James also wanted to suggest he call her, but he didn’t know what was right with y/n. He felt guilty for not calling his sister, and he only texted Harry, who told her she was as fine as she could be. 

The next morning, Tom had woken up-or maybe he was still awake from the night before, he probably hadn’t slept. James had heard him talk to Harry. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take a shower and I’ll go talk to her.” 

Then Tom had called Sam, who wasn’t happy with any situation. 

James had called Clark. 

“I’m sorry you were in this mess,” he said. 

Clarke sighed. “It’s alright, I mean--” 

“How bad was it after I left?” 

“Let’s say there was a--plot twist,” Clark said. 

“Plot twist?” 

“You’ll have to deal with later, but--” 

Someone was knocking on the door. 

“I’m sorry-- someone is here,” James said. 

And there, he saw y/n, the most broken he’d ever seen her. He had expected her to cry and sink to the floor immediately. She didn’t. 

And she had yelled and she was angry, desperate. He’d never seen her so decided before. Without any hesitation she rushed past James. The woman had enough anger and decision, so James feared she’d kill Tom. 

“I’ve seen his fucking dick James, I don’t bloody care!” Y/N had burst into the bathroom, only to find a lonely and broke Tom that was trying to soothe his mind under the hot water, James had tried to stop her but she’d slammed the door shut. 

“Y/N!” Tom could only say with surprise. 

“What is wrong with you?” She asked, with anger as Tom turned the shower off and quickly reached for his towel. “No, seriously, what is wrong with you? And you didn’t call!” She yelled once again. 

Tom could see how she was wearing the dress from last night, her makeup was very messy, and so was her hair, the princess that once stood on a dance floor was a broken girl with a bouquet of yellow flowers

“Y/N I’m—“He tried to speak as he walked out of the shower, covering himself with the towel, water still streaming down his body. 

“You slept with her, Tom!” She yelled. “And here are your bloody yellow flowers!” She’d thrown them at him, sloppily. “And why—What are you going to do? Was it your plan again? Is this a prank? Like last time?  Is that what you’re going to say that I’m not your type and that you’d never dare someone like me and that this was all a prank and I should’ve seen it coming?” Her voice was loud but sounded broken, trying so hard not to break.”Why—why didn’t you call?” She spoke quickly and loud. 

“No, no, y/n, please calm down I didn’t mean for this to happen!” Tom said. This wasn’t how it wasn’t supposed to go. But honestly, Tom didn’t know it actually was supposed to go. 

“Oh, that fixes everything!” She snapped. 

“No, I-” Tom closed his eyes. “No, no, I’m sorry.” 

“If you are—Please tell me it was not a prank please—and you didn’t—“She wasn’t speaking coherently. She couldn’t speak, for that matter, he could see her struggle as she was breaking down, trying to fight the tears from falling down. “Please, please tell me it wasn’t all a prank like you did after that club night-” 

“No, y/n, y/n,” and he would have to follow James’ advice to remain calm, he approached her and gently took her hands. “No, I’m sorry—“ 

“Tell me—“

“It’s not a prank,” he said. “I love you, it’s not a prank this is not Rome.” 

That’s what she needed to listen to. 

She was still angry, but she leaned against the bathroom wall, defeated. She didn’t look at him. She caught her breath, slowly, looking up at the ceiling, 

“Please, y/n, look at me, it was not a prank, I love you,  it was a mistake, very—stupid mistake.” 

“You kissed her.”

“I—didn’t,” Tom said. “Please, look at me.”

She did. Slowly looked up to see him, her eyes were surrounded by bags and they were puffy and red. She’d been crying all night. 

“I’m sorry,” and he meant it. 

She looked away, she seemed furious. 

“Talk to me, please-”

.“You kissed—“

“I didn’t kiss her—She kissed me. I know, it doesn’t-But, please look at me, y/n, I’m—there’s a lot to talk but I didn’t kiss her. Please—look at me.” 

She looked again “I’m looking at you but I can’t see you—“she sounded tired, but not from her lack of sleep, tired from him. “Why didn’t—why didn’t you call?” She repeated, she wasn’t stopping the tears now. 

Tom felt so heartbroken only from watching her.“Would you’ve answered?” He asked as he tried, slowly to clean up her tears. 

“You didn’t call,” she stated, voice breaking. 

Tom had made a mistake by not calling, he knew that now. 

“I know, I regret it now,” he admitted. “I—just didn’t know what I was supposed to say.” 

“That you’re—“

“I am sorry, I know, you don’t believe how much I regret everything but you have to know that I didn’t kiss her last night, but I know being sorry isn’t enough.” 

She seemed as if she had a million things to tell him but couldn’t come around to say them, the words shaking and fading as soon as she opened her mouth. She crossed her arms and looked away. “Please tell me she’s not here—” she spoke as if her words were stabbing her, hurting her. “I know you wouldn’t be stupid enough to have her here, but please tell me she isn’t.” 

“What? Why would she?” 

She glared, “dunno,she’s not at her mother’s.” 

“You thought she’d be here?” Tom asked. 

Y/n didn’t know how to answer. “I knew she wasn’t but had to make sure.” 

She knew, at least. Tom thought. 

“I’m sorry,” Tom said. 

She didn’t say anything, but finally let the quiet tears slowly stream down her face, Tom couldn’t look her in the eye, not with this guilt. 

He took a deep breath. “Look I need—I need to get dressed alright? I was taking a shower and I was going to look for you. Harry told me you’d be at the hotel.” 

She looked away. “Yeah I’m not anymore I came here.” 

“Yeah. I can see that.” 

She only looked up at him. 

“Why did you come?” He asked, only then noticing she was still wearing the necklace he’d given her. 

“Because I—I don’t know—Because you didn’t call and I-” 

“I’m sorry,” he said, and took a deep breath. 

She only tried to avoid his gaze. 

“I’m going to get dressed,” he said, calmly. “Uh-do you—want to take a shower too? Borrow some clothes? Or do you want to talk right now?” 

“No—I guess—I need a shower.” 

Soon enough she was in the shower and Tom was dressed, he bumped into James as he walked out of his room. 

“She’s going to breakup with me,” Tom said. Because he knew she would, honestly he didn’t expect any less. He deserved that… But did he? 

“I thought she was going to murder you,” James admitted, but judiging by Tom’s look, he regretted it right away. “Bad time to joke—” He cleared his throat. “Look, she came here okay? Knowing y/n, it’s a first, she is never the first to ask for something face to face, she usually writes a letter and—” 

Tom sighed. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” 

“I’ll go out with Clark and Sam all day, I—look, you fucked up before but I know this—” 

Tom squinted. “Why did she have to kiss me? Why did this all have to blow up before we could even talk-” 

“Look I don’t know, I—no, I do know why she kissed you,” James stated. “And you know it too and you have to tell that to y/n.” 

“How am I supposed to tell her that she is in love with me? She’ll freak out and say I’m in love with her.” 

“Probably,” James agreed. “But you have to remain calm, even when she yells, listen to her she’s in her right.” 

“Yeah.” 

“And just to calm you down, she came here to you, not to Tim alright? That’s an advantage,” James reminded him. 

Tom hadn’t thought about Tim, and that thought hadn’t gone to his head. But now, it would linger. Not that it mattered but-”How do I know he hasn’t called her?” Tom asked. 

“Because she went to Harry and your brother wouldn’t let her do that not because of you but because it would’ve been stupid,” James stated. 

“What do I say?” 

“The truth, for starters and don’t—Dont bring the Tim thing up,” James said. 

“Yeah, I know.” 

James left, knowing a storm would be coming to that place. 

Tom didn’t know what to do, or wait, how had they postponed the fight like this, not only today but since he’d arrived. How and why had she avoided it? And why hadn’t he told her? He should’ve. 

She had to make sure that Cherry wasn’t there, she’d said it: I don’t think she is. Did she trust him? He hoped she did. 

Tom wished for patience, how hard he had tried not to explode and burst back the Tim thing. It seemed like y/n had tried hard not to explode. 

Though this was hard, Tom knew in his heart that this was both of them either trying to work it our or finally giving up completely. The latter option being so terrifying. Lost in his thoughts. But he knew that the stray and venomous thoughts were not going to get him anywhere, maybe a whirlwind. 

Eventually, y/n had walked out, dressed with his clothes, a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, as she dried her hair with the towel. She seemed so calm. Terrifyingly calm. 

“Thanks for--For the clothes,” were the only words she’d said. 

Tom only watched her. “I’m sorry.” 

“I know… I knew.” She knew? “I’m sorry I came in yelling like a crazy person,” she apologized. 

“You’re in all your right,” he nodded. 

“No, I’m not,” she sighed before walking over to sit beside,he only watched her. 

“You knew,” Tom said. Knowing what her words from before meant. 

“Yeah,” she sighed.

“Who--How did you--?” 

She bit her lip, and shrugged. “I know you,” she admitted. “And she posted a picture, she--Posted several pictures of you guys together.” 

“But you assumed-” 

“No, I saw that one picture with you kissing her cheek, and I knew,” she gulped. 

“How?” 

“The way you looked at her?” Y/N’s voice was shattering, her eyes had began to water down. “I-” 

“I don’t-” 

“You looked at her the same way you looked at me, and-” She was tearing down, trying to avoid and ignore she was. 

“I didn’t-” 

“You did,” she gulped down. 

He had, for that matter. But not for the reasons she thought. 

“I slept with her,” he admitted. “But-” 

“But?” 

“But it didn’t mean anything.” 

“She’s in love with you,” y/n stated. How did she know? How in this world? “It means something.” 

“How-?” 

She shrugged. “I happen to be an expert on knowing how it feels to love you and not being reciprocated.” 

Tom took a deep breath. 

“You’re not easy to love,” y/n said, standing up. “Contrary to popular belief and how easy it seems I do it, you’re not easy to love, you’re so…”She couldn’t finish her sentence. “So I could see her, last night, she looked like such a damn fool, and she-She’s an idiot, for falling for you, no one in their right mind would fall for you, guess it’s a family thing,” she poisoned, as she sat back on the bed, near the headstand, crossing her arms. “But--” 

“I don’t have any feelings for her,” Tom said, still at the edge, not facing her. 

“Yeah, I know, but it still is my cousin you decided to sleep with,” y/n said with venom. “You fucking slept with her  and then you kiss her on my birthday right fucking in front of me.”

“She kissed me.” 

“And then you let me go, you didn’t even explain anything you didn’t try to stop me, you just stood there…. and then you didn’t call and I can’t believe I let you break my heart again I can’t--” She was running out of breath, though he could hear her anger, her voice was calm. That was scared. “I don’t want to beg for your love, Tom, I don’t want to be broken again and I don’t want to say goodbye again.” 

“I don’t want to-either.” 

She glared at him. “How was it?” 

“What?” Tom turned to see her. 

“Was she good?” 

Tom blinked. “I— don’t—understand.” 

“Answer me, good? How many times did you-?” 

“Just once,” Tom answered. He tried to crawl to her but she stood up, arms crossed. 

“And how was it?” She asked with poison, her words stabbing Tom. 

He didn’t know how he was supposed to answer. “I don’t even know I was thinking about you the whole time.” 

“Oh,” she scoffed. “How refreshing, you were thinking of me while making love to my cousin,” she snaked. 

“It was a mistake,” he said. “I didn’t-”

“Ah, yeah, you tripped and your dick fell into her,” she snapped. “A mistake.” 

Tom heard it, he closed his eyes. “It didn’t mean anything.” 

“Sex has to mean something,” she said. 

“No it doesn’t,” Tom snapped. 

“It does.” 

“Fine if it does it means I broke her heart because I did the one thing she hates about people,” Tom snapped. “I used her to try to get you out of my mind and it only- 

She clicked her tongue. “Made it worse, buddy.” 

He plopped on the bed stressed. “Can we please talk about this?” 

“Well, go on, tell me, everything,” she pleaded, arms crossed. 

“What?” 

“What happened with her.”

“You want to know what happened with Cherry? Tom asked.

She nodded. “Don’t spare any detail. You said you wanted to talk.” 

 What would he tell her? The truth. 

And so he did. So he told her, from the very first moment he met Cherry, how clueless she was. And how heartbroken he was but how Cherry, being clueless was the only damn thing he needed. Someone who didn’t judge him, someone who didn’t know any of the drama. Not about the script.  Not about y/n and Tom. How Tom could take a breath, and how he found a friend that would ease his mind. How he had searched for y/n in every face but failed to do so. A distraction he needed, and that it had presented itself. How Cherry had been a friend, a friend that didn’t feel like anything more. How Tom did have some sort of feelings. Not love, but he cared for her. 

How Cherry did flirt. How he didn’t. At first. 

Y/N didn't show any reaction, still quiet. No yelling, no eyebrows furrowed, just listening.  Cold staring. 

But Tom continued, connecting the stories he’d already told her about how he missed her, and how much he wanted to call and how he always tried to not think about her. How he had been heartbroken, and how her most than anyone should understand how broken hearts leads us to do something stupid. But how it was because he missed her, how he’d gotten used to her lips, and how he missed waking up beside her. To the night he decided to kiss her. 

“Why did you kiss her?” She finally interrupted. “The first time.” 

“I thought— I—I would— I don’t know what I thought, I… No, I do know, I do know why I kissed her,”  he sighed. “This is going to sound so stupid.” 

“Try me.” 

“I—well—It might make you feel worse.”

She took a deep breath. “Go on.” 

“I—you left, y/n, to get over me,” he explained. “You—“

“What?” 

“I—“ he looked over in his drawers. “You give me this letter and then you left— you said—“

“Yes I know, I meant every single word there—“

“And I was hurt okay? You left and you were living with Tim.” 

“Is that why—?”

“No,” he said, “it wasnt—I just missed you so much—I felt—how you’re feeling right now.” 

She finally snapped out of her calmness. “How I am—no, no, you don’t understand what I’m feeling,” she growled. “Not even half of it, you broke my heart and I—I” she stood up and walked around the room. “And this was the first time I was hoping—I thought you wouldn’t and then you just—I didn’t come here to get over you, it was never like that, I gave myself time to heal so I could love you without any hard feelings and without any—So I could love you completely but then—I knew it just from that one picture I knew you had slept with her, because the eyes—-They way you were fucking looking at her.”

“I know, It’s the way I look at you alright?” 

“I know, I fucking know, don’t you think I was heartbroken?” She asked. 

“I thought that if I looked at her that way eventually I would move one—“

She took a deep breath before asking, “and why did you want to move on?”

Because he thought she would, for starters. But he wouldn’t bring Tim up. No, he couldn’t 

“I didn’t—I—I didn’t—I never felt anything, I—searched for you?” He continued. 

She scoffed. “With my cousin Tom? Was that the most familiar thing?”

Yeah, he heard it. It was so stupid. 

He sighed. “I’m not proud of it.”

“Well I hope you aren’t—You don’t get it, I was ready to—call you that day, the day I found out,” she gulped and sat back down, far from him not facing him, “I was doing better, and I wanted to call you so we could—try again and I remember going back to social media and I was—going to call you alright? See how you were doing,” she spoke quietly. “And I saw the picture and then I knew it—no one had to tell me, and then it was days and days going on and I tried to move on and the sky was just grey, no silver moon suns, I couldn’t sleep I couldn’t feel anything I just felt insignificant and like an idiot because—“

“I didn’t love her,” Tom said. 

“It’s not only that Tom, whatever you did, whatever you said...whatever you—you made her fall for you,” y/n said. “Because you looked at her—You looked at her like you—looked at me and I—“

“No, I didn’t mean it,” Tom said before rushing over to her side, trying to reach for her hand. She snapped it away. 

“Oh, and that fixes everything,” she rolled her eyes. “All good now, you slept with her but you didn’t mean it!” She stood up. 

“I slept with her because I couldn’t call you,” he explained. 

“You couldn’t hold your dick for five seconds?” She hissed. 

“You—look I’m not trying to—You also slept with Tim,” he stated. Finally throwing the bomb at her.knowing he shouldn’t have but he couldn’t hold it anymore. She blinked, watching him. “No one told me,” Tom answered the question he knew was going through her mind. “No one had to, at first. I assumed you had, and then he confirmed it. But did you?” 

“I did,” she said. Now the blame was not entirely on Tom. But he hadn’t brought it up because of that. 

“I’m not trying to blame you for it,” Tom said. “This is not a war, y/n, I’m just—I am pretty sure the reason you slept with him isn’t as far as the reason as to why I slept with Cherry.” 

She remained quiet.

“I slept with Cherry because I was lonely and I couldn’t find you, I thought that by pretending it was you, it would eventually be you but I was wrong because she’s not near you, and it’s not in her. It’s on me because I am deeply in love with you,” he explained. “My heart felt extremely lonely, and I thought that by pretending to love someone only for one night it would make it feel less pain, I was wrong, it hurt even more.” 

“He told you,” she said. 

“Last night yeah, but but but—I didn’t-“

She shut her eyes closed. “Is that why you—fucking kissed her?“

“I didn’t kiss her, she kissed me,” Tom reminded her. “This is not a war, y/n.” 

“You keep saying she’s the one to kiss you, but I remember clearly that I told you a kiss is always asked, at least with a glance,” she recalled. 

“I didn’t want to kiss her, and I’m sure you saw me push her off.” 

Y/N didn’t say anything. She only paced around the room again, her hands crossed above her chest, barefoot and silent trails. Tom watched her, wanting to know what the hell was going through her mind. She always seemed to always have a thought, usually they were dreams untold and secrets waiting to be whispered. Not now. He knew her mind was slowly deciding whether or not to destroy each other. 

Tom hoped they both had the same mentality. This is not a war, and it seemed to be like that. 

“You’re saying,” she started. “That you didn’t want to kiss her even after Tim told you we slept together.”

“Yes.” 

“You’re saying you didn’t do it to get back at me.” 

“I didn’t do it because—“

“Because you felt guilty,” she ended his sentence but not with what he wanted to say. 

“No, because I don’t want this to be another battle in a war where neither of us wants to win, because we both know it shouldn’t be a war.” 

She stared at him, she wanted to believe him. 

“I did sleep with him,” she stated. “Days after I knew you’d slept with Cherry,” she said. 

Tom felt a punch right into his throat, knowing he would be unable to word out his pain. 

“And I—he had been flirting, we both know he’s in love with me,” she sat beside Tom. “He usually knows how to mend my heart when it’s broken, and I am well aware of that, and—That’s what I needed, someone who would love me, because I felt like shit and he made me feel loved,” she gulped. “That’s the difference, you searched for someone you could love and I searched for someone who could love me.” 

Neither of them said anything.  Both of them assimilating, being careful enough of their words. 

“It’s only fair to ask this question,” Tom said after a while. 

Y/N only glanced. 

“Was he good?” Tom questioned with poison, getting an eye roll from y/n. 

“You see, the reason I asked that question wasn’t the same reason as why you’re asking it,” she pointed out. 

He shrugged. “What was your reason exactly?”

“I don’t want this to be a fight between us,” she continued. 

“What is this, then?” 

“It’s us against the problem, not you against me, Thomas,” she fumed. 

He nodded, “are we finally on that page, then?” 

Y/N didn’t know how to answer. She didn’t know how to handle him, not that he had to be handled but the situation was tarnishing her heart. She had, however, learned well enough that this wasn’t supposed to be them fighting and fighting. She’d thought about it, and though she was enraged, she wanted to solve it. It wasn’t a matter of what, it was a matter of how. The incomprehensible thoughts in her head were roaring too loud for her taste, but her heart, though hurt, wanted to try to get through with this. 

He had remained calm, too, so it didn’t matter for her. 

“Well, I am,” she said. “Or-I don’t, I just don’t know-” 

He watched her. “What do you want?” 

“It’s not simple, Tom, I’m heartbroken but I understand it but then again, of all people it was my cousin, and I don’t-I just showed that I am still not over the whole prank thing.” 

Tom looked away. 

“And I don’t want to go over that, you know? We’ve grown, we’ve-Yes, we’ve broken each other’s hearts, yes, we were idiots, we know that, but we also had feelings for each other--You were my first crush, first kiss, first love, first broken heart, and I don’t know, my reason tells me to let go, but-” 

“But your heart?” 

“My heart doesn’t know, part of it wants to leave and just give up on everything because god knows I can’t have another heartbreak and the other half--very stupid half believes in us.” 

“I believe in us.” 

“I’m not sure I do, look at us,” she sighed. “And I’m angry and I’m-” 

“May I just- we were not together while-” 

“Don’t bring that up,” she quickly interrupted. “No, we weren’t together but--It’s--It’s my cousin! You know what, I’m leaving I can’t-” She headed to the door, but Tom quickly followed after. 

“No, no, let’s talk about this, please,” he said, taking her hands trying to stop her. 

She stopped and turn around. “What can we even talk about this, Tom? We slept with other people who-” 

“We weren’t together,” he said. “You told me to move on-” 

“I didn’t, Tom!” She retorted. “I didn’t, you were the one to say you wanted to see other people, you were the one to suggest moving on.” 

“You left.” 

“I didn’t leave to get away from you,” she said. “You know that, I knew I had to be away, from you, from Harry- and you-” 

“You left with Tim.” 

“No, I didn’t, besides, I didn’t--” 

“Cherry means nothing,” he said. 

“She meant enough to jeopardize us,” she stated. 

He sighed. “I didn’t think there would be us again.” 

Y/N stayed quiet. She knew what he meant. But somehow didn’t know if he meant it by then or if he meant it now. She was tired, though they hadn’t talked as much, it was… exhausting, draining, going over this yet again.

“I know—That’s why I had to go search for someone else’s love because I thought I didn’t have yours anymore,” she said.

“I-well,” she coughed. “I’m not-I don’t think you understand why I’m angry.” 

“I think I do-” 

“No, you don’t, it’s not-that it was her, though yes, she’s my cousin, you really… couldn’t have fucked up more when choosing a rebound,” she said. “It’s--the fact that you thought you could replace me, the fact that you wanted to move on so quickly and I’m not--It’s not the fact that I didn’t want to move on, it’s just that-- You thought she could be me, and--” 

He shook his head. “I wasn’t trying to-” 

“No, you were,” she said, her eyes were tearing down and though he was trying to stop himself from crying, he let some tears fall down too, quietly. 

“I was an idiot,” he said. “But I didn’t think I’d be replacing you--Only a fool would think you’re replaceable.” 

She took a deep breath, avoiding his gaze. “I think that’s what I’ve been--What I’ve always tried to tell you, with… Timothée,” she said, no nicknames needed to be used. “It’s… though I… It’s never been him,” she said. 

“I never used him to replace you, though he was a good distraction, and I needed to… feel… Not replaceable.” She crossed her arms. “However, I’m still pissed off it was my cousin.” 

“Had it been anyone else—?” 

“Don’t go there,” she warned. “It would’ve been just as bad considering the situation. It makes it worse, yes, but you—Looked at her the way you looked at me,” she emphasized. 

He sighed. 

“Yeah, it’s not the same,” she pointed out. “Though I know that had I slept with anyone else you wouldn’t have cared as much.” 

Tom clenched his jaw but nodded defeated. “Yeah, I guess.” 

“Do you want me to explain—?”

“No, I don't need any details, I know enough,” he ranted. “However—I can see you didn’t go to him.” 

“I didn’t.” Y/N didn’t want to go over the details.

“I—have to be honest, kinda got into a fight with him last night,” Tom confessed. 

“I know, Emma told me, and she told me he was okay, that you only pushed him away,” she explained. “I didn’t ask any further but I didn’t ask you because I knew you’d be okay.” 

Tom stayed quiet, not knowing how to proceed. 

“Can we get out of this one?” He asked. 

“Dunno,” she admitted. “ I just know I still love you with every piece of my heart.” 

“I love you, too,” he admitted quietly. 

“I need a break,” She stated. Without any other warning. 

Tom didn’t like the idea, she could tell as he closed his eyes and took her hands. “No, no please, I--If we take another break then it’ll be definitive and-” 

“No I meant—a break from fighting I just—I have a headache I can’t,” she pushed his hands away and walked back. “I just-” She walked past him and headed to the kitchen. She hadn’t lied, she did have a headache, probably from the slight hangover and the lack of sleep, and added the stress and her heartache. It wasn’t her best ime. 

Tom  only followed after her, quietly watching as she poured herself a glass of water. It felt quiet. It was but it felt even more quiet. Y/N went through all the scenarios not sure which was the worst. They all hurt, some more than others. She wished she could erase every thought in her head. 

Tom opened the fridge, there was still cake that remained from two nights before, when they were still better. He took it out, and without thinking about it, he took out two plates, serving each a slice. She gave him a silent thanks, and then, they both remained on opposite sides of the kitchen. 

Though y/n usually found his hoodies warm, her skin was freezing. There had never been that much space between them though they were only feet apart. Because, though it was even what they’d done, they both knew that there was not much to do. Y/N would love to snap her fingers, hide all her pain and kiss him. To assure him that she loved him as much, wondering if their broken pieces of love was enough. 

“Where’s James?” Y/N asked, hating the sound of the cutlery hitting the plates. 

Tom looked up, “He left, he’d spend the day with Clark and Sam.” 

“So he’s on your side,” y/n pointed out. “Though there’s not really a side here.” 

“He’s not on my side.” 

She shrugged. “He said you had an awful night.” 

“I did but, so did you.” 

“Yeah.” 

He watched her. “In any case my brother is on your side.” 

She looked down at the cake. “He is.” 

Tom let out a dry chuckle. “Hey, I thought there were no sides.” 

“No, but he is on my side,” she said. 

Tom only scoffed. 

“I feel sorry for him actually, I think he was just leaving to go home to sleep and I made him stay up all night with me,” she admitted. 

“Yeah but it’s you so he doesn’t mind,” Tom said. 

She shrugged. “Emma kissed Josh,” she mentioned. 

“She did?” Tom blinked. “Wow, that must have hurt him.” 

Y/N only watched him with irony. 

“I mean,” Tom closed his eyes. 

“No, I know, but yeah, he was,” y/n commented. “I feel bad, I crushed his m&m’s.” 

He chuckled. “What?” 

“I-well, we had some m&m’s and I… crushed them,” she admitted with a tired, half smile. 

“Why?” 

“I was having a breakdown alright?” She chuckled. “And he went all ‘I wanted m&m’s” 

Tom took a deep breath. “Should get him some.” 

She gulped and saw Tom hadn’t eaten anything either, they were just pushing around the cake. 

Tom watched her, too, still noticing how she hadn’t taken off the ballerina hanging from her neck, and maybe it was the only sign he needed, he left the plate on the kitchen island and walked over, standing right beside her, leaning against the counter. Their arms were against each other’s, and eventually her head fell against him. He didn’t hesitate before wrapping his arms around her, she gave in to his touch, slowly and then hugged him back. Snuggling to get some kind of warmth. 

“You looked pretty last night,” he pointed out. 

She crooked into his neck. “You mentioned it.”

Tom glanced down. “I—yeah, I did.” 

Quiet again. He took a deep breath, and held her close again, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Do you hate me?” He asked. 

“No, that’s the weird thing,” she said, letting him go and taking her spot back beside him. “I can’t  hate you.” 

He grimaced. 

“Being angry doesn’t make me love you any less,” she said. “Do you hate me?” 

“No. I could never. I love you.” 

She bit her lip. “Are we really--?” 

He turned to her. “What?” 

“Or are we just being stubborn enough to not want to give up?” She asked. “I… don’t know.” 

“I don’t want to lose you and the thought of it scares me enough,” he gulped. “And I… Before I run out of time to say the things I want to, I just need you to know that I’d choose you, though there are no other options, it all comes back to you.” 

Her eyes brightened up, just slightly. “It’s hard, Tom, I don’t know, but I don’t want to give up, but-” 

“I know,” Tom looked at her. 

It was so unbelievably hard. What if this was really their last time, that’s what they were both thinking but neither had the courage to ask it out loud. Love is so cruel. 

“Yet after everything, I’ve never loved anyone like I’ve loved you,” y/n said, mostly to herself. “And I am sorry I left in the first place.” 

“No, you had to, we had to…” He sighed. “We both made questionable things.” 

She didn’t want to break up with him. She didn’t want her days to run out of breath again, to see the streets full of garbage and she didn’t want to water any flowers that he hadn’t given her. And she wondered if they’d dare to call it off yet again life would find a way to bring them back together. 

“I don’t want to go back to… that feeling, when we were apart,” she finally said it out loud. She wouldn’t regret saying it, right? “Nightless and sunless days, and how time never stopped or it never kept going, it was just eternal… numbness.” 

Tom blinked, watching her. 

“But I also,” she sighed. “I don’t want this pain.” 

“Were you expecting it?” 

“What?” 

“The heartbreak?”

“I wasn’t, maybe that’s why it hit that hard… I guess I… Maybe I did, I just postponed it, thought that if I ignored it for long enough it would disappear.” 

“What will happen, then?” 

“I don’t know, these are relentless times, for now, try and haunt for reasons to make me believe I am still alive,” she gulped. “It sounds so dramatic but last night I just…” She felt that pain across her chest again. “I thought I had stopped breathing I…And it wasn’t the kiss really.” 

“What was it?” 

“The fact I remembered you had slept with her,” she said. “And that picture—“

He bit his lip, “I didn’t… You are the love of my life.” 

She chuckled softly to herself. “See? People only say that when they’re apologizing.” 

He sighed. “But-” 

“But you are mine, too,” she admitted. “Better or for worse.”

She didn’t know where he had gotten the courage to do it, but he had finally leaned over to kiss her. And it wasn’t idyllic, it wasn’t a happy kiss, but it was the reminder they needed, as if the kiss was only to remind why it was worth trying again. Y/N knew she was being an idiot, honestly. 

But only another fool would stop kissing him, and so she didn’t stop, because she knew this could be the last time. Tom probably thought so, too. Knowing about a last kiss can make it last longer and can make them both never letting go. Y/N just needed one last reminder than though her heart was aching and it had finally been ripped apart, she still had to believe that he loved her. Because he’d said it, right? And he was proving it to her with each kiss, caressing her cheeks, cupping her face, so delicately and so passionately. 

He didn’t want to let go, either. His hands went to her waist, pulling her as close as he could. Their lips were going so, very slowly. He pulled away once, only for her to keep kissing his chin, cheeks and finally his lips, so slowly, her arms around his neck. Neither of them were desperate, each stroke was measured, taking their time. As if they were dawdling and postponing the thoughts in their minds. Soothing their most probable goodbye. 

Y/N kissed him as if they were going to be infinite. As if no matter what would happen, they’d always be there. The kissing started to seem careless at some point, as if it didn’t matter how they were kissing anymore, it just mattered to have their lips connected, getting sloppier as his hands travelled under her-his sweatshirt to touch her skin, so cold. His hands landed on her waist. 

“You’re cold,” he pointed out in between kisses. 

She only pulled away, as if only then she realized what they were doing. He didn’t stop, his lips kept trailing its way all over her face, small, slow and soft kisses sweet enough for her to close her eyes. Gentle pecks, trying to gently cover each and every spot on her face. Y/n knew Tom had never been good with his words, he was more of actions, always being impulsive, and this showed it, his tender lips against her skin was his way of apologizing, of making her feel loved. 

However she had to back away. She had to be rational, she couldn’t let him just kiss her and forget about everything. 

She did back away. Because her mind couldn’t stop. It kept going back to him. To Cherry. And even to Tim. The latter being as if asking why she had done it herself. 

And she only tried to untangle herself from his grasp, he didn’t force it. He understood as she slowly walked her way back to his room. A place where she felt safer than in the kitchen. Not sure why. 

He stopped her mid-halfway, his chocolate eyes begging her again, pleading for an apology. Y/n couldn’t help it, his eyes were her biggest addiction. And so she gave in to him again, because though she loved using words and she knew it was her most powerful weapon, this was no battle, and so she’d kiss him to speak her truth. 

He slowly pressed her against the wall, his fingers traced her figure, sides, top and bottom, gently as if trying to memorize her shape, but as if his fingers already knew the path. Her breath halted as his lips brushed against her neck, soothing her cold body. He pressed his whole body against hers, and his hands found their way back inside her hoodie, fingers firmly pressing against her waist, threading lightly. She felt like they could be infinite if they tried to, if they wanted to. And just for that moment as his lips were finding their way back to hers, she forgot about her pain. 

His lips were meant to be with hers. There was no other way to say it. 

Somehow he managed to get her to his room, she was uncertain if she should keep kissing him. But there's something about each kiss that made them both not want to stop. Y/N had closed the door, though, Y/N felt like this was the last time. Did he think it was too and was that why he was being so delicate?

Pining for each other as he gently laid her down, he looked at her the way someone looked at the sky at night, as if he had first seen the stars for the very first time and was wondered by her. They were sharing a secret, they both knew. 

Desire was beyond his eyes as his hand travelled from her covered ankle, shriveling through her legs up all the way to her covered chest. She longed for his skin to be once against hers. But he was taking his time, trying to make sure she knew she was the only one he wanted to kiss. He then proceeded to take the same path with his lips as if he had meticulously painted it before. Placing soft pecks or running his lips against the covered skin. Y/N closed her eyes, as an inescapable  soothing pleasure washed her, not lust, his gentle poke sprinkling her with delight. 

He finally glanced up to her, his thumb gently rubbing circles on her cheek, his eyes linking with her, his eyelashes going up and down, pouring directly at her lips, her eyes. 

“I love you,” he stated, not expecting an answer back, as if it was merely an observation he was making to himself. One of those thoughts that escapes the mouth and dares to be said out loud.

“I love you,” he said again, now less as an observation but as a reminder to him, as if he was scolding himself. 

Her hands went to his face, brushing his cheeks. She wanted to say it back, too, but something stopped her. 

But she was thinking about it, she knew that. She felt it. 

But her heart didn’t want her to say it, as if saying it would be a sin. Why was she letting him kiss her? She could stop him. 

She didn’t want to stop him, that is. But her mind was so loud she could barely focus, and she didn’t have to focus.  

But then again, he was part of her own skin, her faith, her—everything. And though she knew this could be a mistake, it could be the last time and she wanted to make it last. Something to remember because they didn’t have anything to cling to. 

She waited for him, like the moon waits for the night, as his thumb then caressed her lips, preparing them only to tamper them with his. It was no secret that each kiss he gave her was unique but he had kissed her like never before. 

*

Though it was so familiar, the way she knew what he was going to do next as his hands went down to toy with the hem of her hoodie, shyly asking for permission just to go beneath it. But slowly he was pulling it up, with her help and then proceeded to take off his. Though slow they were both desperate to be against each other’s skin, the clothes burdened them and they both slowly decided to take them off, they looked better on the floor anyway. 

Y/N didn’t feel cold anymore though she was bare, only with her underwear  as Tom repeated what he’d done before, kissing his way from her thighs to her neck, burying himself there. She tried to turn him around so she could kiss him just as fine but he didn’t let her, his hand searched for hers as he linked them. 

She finally managed to push and roll him, now it was she’d time to memorize his own body, her fingers tickled him as she sat on top of him to watch him, they gently brushed against his stomach, his chest, barely even touching, just a tender grasp. His hands landed on her waist as he watched her, her hands exploring his body, all the way to his arms, he only gulped watching her as she felt the bulge grow beneath her, she hummed a chuckled before bending down to get his lips back to hers, delayed movements as she grinded against him, his hands went down to cup her ass, helping her rock and he bucked his hips to her. 

They had absolutely no hurry though their bodies were indicating the exact opposite, hiding their gentle moan against each kiss. 

“I love you,” she finally had whispered to him, but it sounded more like a goodbye that Tom didn’t want to hear yet. 

With his hands now going to her back, he turned her around, him on top as he reached to the nearest drawer. 

The unspoken words they both hid were agonizing but they knew they had to be kept unspoken. 

For now, at least. 

As he opened the drawer y/n could see the inside of it. She caught a glimpse of the letter she’d given him. But he finally found the condom and wrapped it on the hard that his boxers had been no help on hiding. 

Y/N only watched him position himself as he then looked up asking for a sort of permission, she only bit her lip as she tuck her hands behind her and finally took off her bra, he licked his lips and tooka deep breath, staring at the ballerina necklace in between each breast, he teased her with the tip and she arched her back. 

She bit her bottom lip, he slowly inserted into her, she let out a gasp with fascination as he filled her up, her hands landed on his back bringing him to her, nails digging crescent moons on him, he closed his eyes, throwing his head back. 

He draped her breasts with his hands before slowly rocking against her, their breaths fanning against the other, but it lingered and she wrapped her legs against him, toes curling with each  very move as she bucked herself against him, not holding back any moan and now as he sloppily tried to kiss her, not getting it and just lazily pecking her chin, her neck, sucking gently. Hands gliding up and down. She managed to get a grip of him as she bit his lower lip, so intoxicated by each other it’s almost pathetic. 

And their horrible thoughts had finally ceased—for a bit because they only needed each other, knowing that though what had happened had angered them, they belonged to each other, tangled into one, with sloppy kisses and messy movements, hearing their moaning as if they were a melody they could never get tired of. Soft grunts, struggling to keep any other kind of thought as they’re washed with pleasure. 

Thrust after thrust, lackadaisical at points where they’re not even caring, finger pressed to each other, vibrating each time, impossible for y/n to keep still as he drove in each time deeper. Hands still gentle but he is burning intensely against her, her irregular movements against his hip drive her close to the edge. 

He even had to clench to the headboard to get a steadier rhythm, but his other hand deliberately made sure that no part of her body remained untouched. The friction on each movement made y/n moan his name breathily. 

Tom groaned at his name and went in deeper, saying her name, in a faint whisper, fearing he’d run out of chances to say it again, and then his tongue connected with her flesh. 

“I can’t lose you,” he confessed breathily, tainted with love, finally saying what they’d both been thinking the whole time, but proud enough and—probably horny enough not to say it. 

The only response she can give him is a truthful “I love you, so much.” Because there was nothing more to it. She wasn’t sure if they were going to lose each other. “I don’t want to lose you,” she sentenced. Because that was another fact. 

Somehow that makes them go faster and more desperate, his hand stretching to go over where he needs him to be. Gasps, groans, grunts and moans combined with other words of praise to each other, senseless confessions of love that are enough to keep them going. 

Y/N didn't even realize with what push she finally reached her high, but with pleasure he kept going as she had let out a bright moan that had perfectly spelled his name. He followed after not so long, crashing against her one last time before he had to stop and not twitch against her, not pulling out as he plopped above her. Chests shimmering with sweat as they’re synchronizing their breathing, halt panting as she finds a hand through his hair, curling up with sweat. He finally pulled out and plopped right beside her. 

**

It gave her time to think then, right beside each other, quietly hearing each other breathing, covered in each other sweat. He pulled her close to him as her hand landed on his chest. She kept her lips pressed against him still, and his own lips were pecking her forehead. 

Neither of them wanted to say anything because they both knew that talking would lead to somewhere where they didn’t  want to go. Because talking had been all they've done before that and there had been no “I love you”s and there was no “I don’t want to lose you.” Talking meant they did want to lose each other and talking meant they still were angry. 

But they had to. And y/n was there, confused as how easily she gave up to him, hours ago she was crying and yelling, and her heart still ached but she was still sure she couldn’t keep herself from him. Plus, there was the fact he was directing her script. The one film she had dreamed of and now was a nightmare. What was she supposed to do? 

End the relationship? 

Weren’t they supposed to be infinite? 

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[katytheinspiredworkaholic]

WIP Wednesday

Title: Extraordinary

Pairings: HotchReid (more to come)

Summary: League of Extraordinary Gentleman/Vampire AU;

Within the FBI there is a specialized team full of an elite selection of people. Unique individuals with very particular skill sets. And their job is to take the unusual cases: the ones that need to not only be solved, but are undetermined if the unsub is human, or something else entirely.

In a world filled with Vampires, non-human creatures, and subspecies unknown, there is only enough information to have them vaguely regulated. Rules that are so easily, and violently broken, all while hidden in plain sight among the unsuspecting public. Unrivaled for eons.

That’s where the BAU comes in.

Official Posting Date: October 2021

Links: (Masterpost) (Snippet 01) (Snippet 02) (Snippet 03) (Snippet 04)

(TW/CW: dead body/crime scene, blood and bite wounds talked about in detail, hypnosis/compelling someone to do something against their will, overall discussion of murder (basically what we see in every episode of the show))

(the story so far/what you need to know for this clip at least: Absolutely nothing you don’t already know, this is legit from the first chapter. Hotch is a Vampire (although the LEOs don’t really know that), Rossi is a priest, Morgan is so empathetically telepathic he can touch the auras in the air, and Reid is Reid. I know I’ve been giving you the juicy HotchReid stuff but here have some case stuff too, to see what you’re in for with the plot and everything. This is FIRST DRAFT so it’s terribly unpolished, first part is generalized POV (hence the more professional titles) and the second is within the team dynamics so they get more familiar. idk my first drafts are messy and indecisive, enjoy anyway. 💕)

–

They approach the body and Rainer shoos away his pestering, hovering officers and --- winces once again at the sight of the bloodied woman. “This is the third body in two days; a jogger found her about 6 am. Coroner says she thinks she’s been dead for about 6 hours; killed in the middle of the night, just like the others.” 

“Closer to five hours, I think,” Dr. Reid says, crouching down to look closer. All long legs and his gun looking too big on his belt next to his FBI badge. “Could still be within the Witching Hour, though.”

“Do you have accurate time of death estimates for the other two bodies?” Agent Morgan adds on, already picking up the train of thought Dr. Reid has started on. The detective pulls out an old-school flip notebook book and looks through it before answering.

“3:15am the first night, 9:30pm last night and now this.”

“Well that rules out hex, sacrifice, and spell gone wrong,” he concludes, as the other agents surround the body to inspect it from all angles. “So what are we thinking?”

“It’s a frenzied bite,” Agent Hotchner points out, looking from where he stands and not having to get as close as Dr. Reid to inspect it accurately. His eyesight is better than any microscope. “Shows multiple entries, it couldn’t get a good enough hold to rip her throat. Or she struggled, so it wasn’t strong enough to keep her pinned down.”

“The boys think it’s a Vamp,” Detective Rainer points out. “Maybe a baby one, still learning the ropes?”

“Vampire changes are regulated and no sire would allow whoever they turned to do this,” Agent Hotchner says, a colder flint to his voice that matches the way his dark stare cuts up to the detective. “No one has been turned in the United States in the past twelve years.”

“It’s not a Vampire bite,” Dr. Reid agrees, putting on latex gloves to further inspect the body and test the bite radius. “And it’s not a werewolf bite, either.”

“...Werewolf?” the detective says with a winded sound, eyes wide and looking to the three agents who didn’t even blink at the word. “There’s -- there’s such thing as werewolves?” 

“Detective, I think you should let my team and I work, we will come to you with our findings and then help you track down your killer.” Agent Hotchner doesn’t leave room for argument, his dark brown eyes looking pitch black in the early morning light, and Detective Rainer… suddenly feels the overwhelming urge to walk away. Like he can’t breathe if he doesn’t comply; he fights it, tries to fight it, and feels his will crumble beneath him like a sand bank giving way under his feet. He turns, even that small gesture lessening the pressure crushing his chest, and takes a step away from the group, air swept into his lungs like a riptide. He makes a hasty retreat after that, winded as if he just ran up a flight of stairs and the sweet taste of oxygen being his only reprieve. He doesn’t know what happened, and wouldn’t upon further inspection until much, much later.

-

“That wasn’t very nice, Hotch,” Rossi points out with a look of glib reprimand towards their team leader. “I thought compelling feeble minded beat cops was for those who have no skills to avoid it.”

“My patience was running thin, and we need to move faster on this case before our unsub kills again. He’s escalating.” That much is obvious, by the timeline alone, but Father Rossi still gives him a side-ways glance that says he finds far too much amusement in the undead’s antics. “Reid, are you sure it’s not a werewolf bite? It would explain the lack of control and precision.”

“I’m sure,” Reid says with finality, and no one makes a mention on why. He had done more research than any human possibly could in the past few months on werewolf transformation and the after effects of attacks. With what happened to one of their former agents mere months ago, no one doubted his newly learned expertise. “It’s also not a shifter, or a ghoul. We can rule out ghost and poltergeist as well, no residue or temperature shifts.” 

“Demon possession?” Morgan asks, looking to Rossi just as he does his customary Sign of the Cross at the mere mention. Can’t help the gesture, after his own past experiences. Giving anything the power of a name, even arbitrary, can be a dangerous thing. 

“We can’t rule it out,” he admits. “The teeth marks are human, someone possessed would still have a hard time biting that deep and doing that much damage. Cannibalism is only reserved for the amusements of level three demons, however they aren’t usually powerful enough to reach the mortal plane or take possession of someone’s body. They would need help.” 

“You really think someone would weaponize a demon like that?” 

“We’ve seen people do worse things, as has history, but I’d like to hope it wouldn’t happen in my lifetime.” 

“We need more information,” Hotch concludes, arms crossed and watching as Reid stands up and removes the blood stained gloves. “Morgan,” his gaze cuts to the tall man in his deep blue suit. “Can you walk the scene, tell us what you see?”

“Not with this many people around,” Morgan shakes his head, eyes glancing to every person within a twenty foot radius. “Too many readings, the aura field here looks like an oil spill. The only thing I can latch onto is…” his gaze is back on the ground, hovering over the dead woman, who would have no aura to speak of at all and therefore a blank canvas. He replaces Reid’s space, crouching down to touch the air over the bite wound. Fingers spread wide, less than a foot from her but not touching, palm suddenly curving as if over an invisible shoulder, the place where someone had once been not so long ago. It could have been the coroner, or the crime scene photographer, but with it being so close to the body -- chances were it was the unsub.

“They were crouched down, half on the ground, no… human thoughts that I can hear,” he says, closing his eyes and letting his hand glide through the air a little more, following the curve of someone’s spine and up their neck, resting where the head would be. “They have a fever burning them up, hot as a furnace--” he keeps his hand there too long, suddenly jerks it back as if it had physically burned him, then stands up again. Shaking off the aura reading still sticking to his fingers and the forefront of his mind. “Sound like anything you’ve heard of, pretty boy?” 

Reid shakes his head, sharing a glance with Father Rossi. “We might have to go through some of your demonology books.” The older man grins wide.

“You just want to get your hands on them, at this rate you’ll have them memorized by next week.” 

“Dave --” Hotch says slow, a reprimand of his own.

“Fine, fine, I’ll have Garcia send us some scans. If the Vatican knew I was putting a book like that in his hands they’d strip me of all my titles.”

“Didn’t they already do that?” Morgan teases with a grin.

“Ex-communicated. I got to keep the dog collar, the honorifics, bless the holy water, you know -- the party tricks.” 

–

((if you want to be apart of the taglist just hit me up via comment, reblog tag, DMs or asks 💕))

[watchmegetobsessed]

Forgiving - Tom Holland

alright so this was vaguely based on a dream i had? idk how to feel about it, but i felt the need to write it bc it’s been on my mind for two days so here we are.

summary: You and Tom like to experiment sexually. After having your first ever threesome with him and an unknown guy you realize it was not what you wanted but you’re afraid to come clear to Tom. 

word count: 2.3k

warning: slightly sexual? kinda NSFW, not too detailed threesome, some emotional stuff going on i reall don’t know

masterlist

Sex has always been about experiments for you. Ever since the beginning, your curiosity has been driving you along to try more things, find what you like, expand your boundaries. It has been all about being pleasured and to pleasure. Through the years you can easily say you’ve tried more than the average, explored unknown territories from time to time, mapped your own body, figured out what works best for you. It was all just about satisfaction, not too much about the emotions, until you met Tom.

The shy smiles he sent you at the pub that night, keeping his gaze fixed on your while his friends were trying to catch his attention, he surely caught your eye. He luckily worked up the courage to talk to you, ending up talking with you for hours before it was closing hours. The two of you exchanged numbers without hesitation and the rest is history. It’s been almost an entire year and you are confident to say you are completely and utterly in love with him. You found the person who doesn’t just clicks with you on the field of humor, interests and passions… but he shares your curiosity about undiscovered levels of sex.

You still remember the open and honest conversation you had with him just two months into the relationship. You felt nervous to bring it up, a little scared about his reaction, but he seemed just as excited as you, interested to try out things you’ve already did. It took the two of you some time to catch up with each other and get to the part where new things were unexplored by the both of you.

Experiencing these things with Tom made it all way more intense than before. The trust and love you’ve been feeling since the beginning turned it into something so much more intimate and memorable. See him grow, delving into sides of himself he hasn’t connected with and just be there for him, with him, makes you feel fulfilled. It surely brings you another level of satisfaction you haven’t been able to experience with anyone else.

You don’t think anything into it when the idea of having a threesome comes up. It has surely been a thought you played with, but didn’t feel ready yet. However, when it just casually comes up between the two of you one evening, you are surprised to see how interested Tom has been too.

“Definitely thought about it,” he hums to himself, glancing up at you from his phone while you lie next to him, tugged under the covers comfortably.

“In which setup?” you question, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip.

“Both,” he confidently answers. “But I have to admit, I thought more about the two women one man version,” he smirks and you smile back at him.

“Yeah? Had anyone in mind for the third party?”

“Not specifically, no,” he truthfully admit and you believe him. An agreement has been made in the beginning to be open and honest about anything regarding your experiments and you trust Tom with keeping his word as you do the same.

“How about you, Darling?”

“I have a few celebrities in mind, but that doesn’t count,” you smirk at him coyly before bringing back the seriousness into the conversation. “Would you want to give it a try?”

Tom thinks about it, clearly chewing his answer before he nods shortly, his eyes returning to yours.

“I think yes. But only with a person we would never ever meet again.”

“I agree,” you smile at him.

Somehow, in the upcoming weeks, the situation progresses fairly and quite steadily. Following a few more discussions you end up choosing to have another man participate in your intimate session and the two of you reach out to a professional party, wanting to make sure you don’t just fetch someone up from the street. You choose a guy based on three photos and a short description. His name is Lucas and he seems like a genuinely nice guy, it all seems like it’s going to go smoothly, he is even up for signing and NDA, something you both agreed would be essential in your current situation.

You don’t feel particularly nervous that evening you and Tom head to the hotel where you booked a room for the occasion. It was evident you wouldn’t let the third party into your bedroom, so Tom was quick to look for a room.

Holding hands, you arrive and check in, Lucas texts you that he’ll be arriving in ten when you walk into the elegant looking room. The bed is huge, could easily fit three people and you bet Tom paid extra attention to this detail.

“Hey,” Tom catches your attention when there’s still a few minutes until Lucas arrives. His hand slides into yours, squeezing it gently. “Whenever you want it to stop, just tell me, alright?” he softly tells you and it warms your heart to know that he just wants to make sure you’re comfortable with whatever happens.

“Same goes for you,” you smile at him. Leaning down he kisses you lovingly, murmuring a quiet I love you before letting go of you.

All your past experiences in sex couldn’t prepare you to what a threesome would bring to you.

It all starts just fine. Lucas is just as likable as you thought, completely open to anything you had in mind. Tom has one rule that he makes clear in the beginning: Lucas can’t kiss you, that’s just for him. And that’s a rule you easily agree with.

After a short round of do’s and don’ts you finally get down to business. Right from the beginning there’s a slightly numbing feeling in the back of your mind that you just can’t put anywhere and you are not even paying enough attention to it to figure it out. One thing follows the other and you are so focused on what’s in front of you that you are too overwhelmed to analyze your own feelings that keep just piling inside you, pushed down inside your guts until they finally erupt.

It’s happens when Lucas is inside you for the first time. Immediately, you think it must just be the unfamiliarity that you are too used to Tom, so you keep going, focusing on your boyfriend who is kissing you in the meanwhile, ushering his hand to his erection. You’re eager to please him first and utmost, but each time Lucas slides inside you, it’s like something breaks in you.

You don’t want him to be inside you. You don’t want anyone else either, just Tom. It doesn’t feel right, you want to stop it, but then you get scared, because it seems like Tom is enjoying himself and you don’t want to ruin the experience for him. So swallowing your tears you keep going until your body refuses to continue. As you get off of Lucas, you try your best to make it look like you just want a change, your hands eagerly pull Tom with you, urging him to take Lucas’ place and when you finally feel him inside you, you still can’t enjoy it the way you’d want. Clinging onto him, you are breathlessly praying to forget what it feels like to be touched by someone else than him, but the foreign, burning feeling of Lucas’ touch still stains your skin and you wish you could just shed it, get rid of it. Burn it.

Drained. That’s how you feel when the night eventually ends. Lucas doesn’t stay any longer, he thank you both that you chose him and wishes you a great rest of the night before he takes off. Lying in bed, you are still fighting your tears back, feeling nothing like yourself. You hear Tom making his way back to the bed, but before he could see the torn expression on your face, you quickly jump out of bed and lock yourself up in the bathroom. With no clothes on, you don’t waste any time to stand under the hot water, hoping it would wash away this restless feeling. Sitting down in the walk-in shower you take some time to figure out what you really feel.

You remember clearly the lustful look in Tom’s eyes, the way he seemed to be enjoying it fully. And you just now realize that’s what hurt more. That it didn’t affect him the way it affected you. Feeling another man do things only Tom does to you made you want to scream, it simply didn’t feel right and you wanted it to end. While it seemed like he didn’t. Like he didn’t mind seeing you with another man and it makes you question if he loves you the same way you love him.

Didn’t he feel jealous? Did he like seeing you like that? Didn’t he want it to stop? The questions flood your mind entirely, making it impossible for you to think about anything else.

Time is completely forgotten as you remain seated on the ground, the water flowing down your face, mixing with your salty tears. You didn’t even realize the bathroom door opens and Tom walks in.

“Y/N?” he calls out and your eyes snap up at him, meeting his gaze that’s filled with despair and confusion. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asks, immediately getting inside the spacious shower, kneeling down, his arms going to wrap around you, but you move away and he freezes as a sob erupts from you. “Fuck, baby, please talk to me! What’s wrong?” he begs, desperate to figure out what’s gotten you so shaken up, but you don’t feel like you are able to talk. You just cry and cry and he stay right there until you feel like there are no more tears to shed.

“I fucking hated it,” you breathe out eventually, not even daring to look him in the eyes. “I fucking hated that he wasn’t you. I didn’t want anyone else, just you.”

“Why didn’t you tell?” he asks and you can tell he is getting mad now and he has every right. He told you to speak up if something doesn’t sit right with you, yet you chose to keep your mouth shut about it. You sniff before daring to look into his eyes again, feeling smaller than ever, like you were nothing in that moment.

“Because you liked it. I didn’t want to ruin it for you,” you admit truthfully and Tom exhales sharply through his nose. It feels like eternity until he finally speaks up.

“I didn’t,” he simply says and your mouth falls open.

“What?”

“I didn’t like it.”

“Really? But you looked like… I thought—“

“Darling, you always seem to forget that I’m an actor. I pretend for a living,” he states matter-of-factly.

“How would you pretend to have a fucking erection?” you snap, letting your arms to fall from around your knees. Tom lets out a soft chuckle.

“My imagination was proved to be stronger than I expected. I wished he was gone the whole time. Fucking hated seeing someone else touch you like I do.”

“So then why didn’t you speak up?” you ask the same question he prompted just a few seconds ago.

“Because I thought you were enjoying it.”

His eyes are soft on you and most importantly: forgiving.

“We were proper idiots,” you breathe out, hands reaching out for him as you finally let him scoop you into his arms, your head lying on his naked chest.

“Seems like we both broke out rule,” he mumbles, his hands continuously brushing up and down your bare back and arms.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you. I just wanted you to enjoy it, I love knowing that I get to give you all these new feelings.”

“I’m sorry too, baby. I was afraid you’d think of me different if I didn’t go through with it.”

Lifting your head up you look into his eyes as you cup his face in your palms, your thumbs gently caressing his cheeks.

“I could never see you differently, Tom. I just want you to be happy and satisfied with me.”

“I am. Always.”

Pulling him down your lips meet his and you are finally able to kiss him without feeling any guilt. He kisses you back passionately, as if he is trying to strengthen the words he just spoke.

“I have a new rule,” he says out of breath when he pulls back.

“What is it?”

“From now on, sex is just about us. No third party.”

“Tattoo this on me, I don’t want to live by any other rules,” you blurt out making him laugh and you smile seeing him with that wide grin.

“Alright. Come on, I think we both need to sleep it off,” he tells you as he helps you up from the floor.

Though you’d love to replace your bruised feelings about sex with some new experiences with the only man you love, for now you still just want to lie in bed with his arms around you and that’s exactly what happens.

Not bearing to stay in the hotel room any longer, the two of you quickly pack everything up and go straight home. Stripping from all your clothes you’re quick to climb under the covers and make yourself comfortable in the safety of your own bed that still only holds the sweet mixture of your and Tom’s scent. He wraps his arms tight around you as you nuzzle against his side, a hand lying flat on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat under your palm.

“I love you,” you whisper quietly, pressing a kiss to his abdomen as he squeezes you gently.

“I love you too,” he mumbles, already half asleep, but you know his words hold the truth.

-

general/forever taglist for Tom Holland

i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Tom taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Tom fics!

@zaahidahhh​ @shawn-youth​  @wildflower-cth​ @imaginashawnns​ @haute-shawn  @learning-howto-be-myselfx3​ @cutepenguin1​ @madatmendes @harrysleftchelseaboot​  @bookwormmusiclover15 @dontworrysunflower​

if you’d like to be taken off or added to the list, please let me know!

[imagines-r-s]

sticking it - j. farabee

chapter 7

a/n: besties, it’s here. this is so wholesome, i swear to god. i don’t really have much else to say, but i do plan on continuing writing fics for the ‘sticking it’ universe?? (idk if that’s the right way to word that) so if you have requests for fics that still follow y/n and joel after the olympics or even throughout the series, i will gladly accept those requests. feedback is welcome, please enjoy

taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland​ @lovenhlboys @sortagaysortahigh @hockey-racing-fubol @oopsiedoopsie23 @iwantahockeyhimbo @dreamsndior

warnings: high school musical, an annoying amount of fluff, maybe another your mom joke, bestie adrian

sticking it masterlist

wc: 3.0k

(gif not mine)

As soon as the boys got back from the roadie, everyone was ready to go home and sleep in their own bed. Winning two of the three games during the trip, most of the guys had been running on adrenaline, but were ready to crash. 

When Joel entered his apartment, still in his suit, ready to go to bed, he was shocked to see that some of his lights and his tv were on. He knew that he had double checked to make sure that they were off, but when he saw a pair of crutches leaning near where his couch was he quickly figured out why. 

He took note of the way you had fallen asleep on his couch, still in one of his jerseys, and with your phone still in your hand. “Hey, babe, wake up,” he spoke softly which caused you to simply groan in response and turn around, “y/n/n, c’mon.”

Turning back around to face him, you smiled, which quickly dropped seconds later as you realized you had intended to stay awake to see him, “oh my god, I was supposed to stay awake to surprise you.”

“Aw, don’t stress it. Seeing you here was a really good surprise either way.”

“Bee, can you do me a favor?” you asked, starting to get up. He simply hummed in response, “do you think you could step outside, act like you haven’t come in here yet, and act shocked once you get back?”

“You’re so dramatic, I swear.”

“Ah, ah, ah, I just want to know if you’ll walk back outside,” you said, smiling as he rolled his eyes before turning around and walking out of the door, “make sure you close the door for even more dramatic effect.”

Joel simply rolled his eyes once more before walking back into his apartment, “oh my gosh, babe, what a surprise to see you here. Never expected that one, that’s insane.” 

“Thank you,” you yawned, “I kinda missed you, not gonna lie.”

“Kinda?”

“Yes, I will not admit to anything more.”

“Ok, I missed you,too. C’mon, let’s go to bed though,” he grabbed your crutches from beside the couch and brought them to you. 

“I’m fine just going home,” you said, but once you yawned again, you knew he would immediately reject that idea. 

“You are way too tired to drive right now.”

“I have physical therapy tomorrow and if I stay here-”

“I’ll take you there tomorrow or at least just make sure you’re up in time, don’t stress it. Now, c’mon, you need some sleep,” he said, ushering you towards his room. As he started walking, he paused halfway through the hall, “wait, how’d you get in here?”

“I took a locksmith class once,” you said, shrugging, which only left him more confused. 

 “Um, alright,” he said as the two of you made your way towards his room. As you entered, you noticed the various pictures and hockey related things in his room. pictures of the team, along with pictures of his friends and family, pucks from his first nhl goal and his first hat trick sitting on one of the shelves. 

As you glanced around his room, you took note of how his room wasn’t a mess, but it wasn’t completely clean either. taking a seat on his bed, you set your crutches off to the side near his bed. “As much as I love seeing you in my jersey, I don't think it’s the best thing to sleep in,” Joel said, throwing you one of his shirts. 

“Awe, pretty boy. That’s very sweet. as much as I love seeing you in your suit, it might not be the best thing to sleep in. Might I suggest just sweatpants?” you asked, smiling sweetly. 

“Just sweatpants?” he asked, looking for confirmation that he heard what you said correctly. Taking the nod he got in response as confirmation, he grabbed a pair of black sweatpants from his dresser, “I’ll be back in a sec, you need anything?”

“No, I’m okay, but thank you, Bee,” as soon as he left, you got ready for bed. As soon as you laid down, you tried to stay awake to talk to Joel about his games, but sleep soon overtook you. 

When Joel got back, he smiled at seeing you asleep in his bed. After setting down the water bottle he got you, even though you said you didn’t need anything, he got into bed. Turning on his music, he turned towards you and wrapped his arms around you with his chest to your back. 

He quickly moved his arms when he felt you turn, only to smile when you wrapped your arms around him with your face nestled in the crook of his neck, “goodnight, Bee.”

“Goodnight, babe,” seeing as you had already fallen back asleep, he quietly whispered, “I love you.” 

When Joel woke up to an empty bed, he tried to avoid the assumption that you had heard what he said and had left him again. He knew it was bad to think, but that was the first place his mind went.

Getting out of bed to go to the bathroom, he heard music coming from the kitchen. As he walked closer to the kitchen, he heard the familiar soundtrack of High School Musical 3 playing, you singing along as you cracked an egg into the frying pan. 

As you listened to the last part of ‘A Night to Remember’, you didn’t even notice Joel standing in the doorway watching you. You were in your own little world. As you used the spatula as a microphone, you did a turn and you shrieked as you noticed him leaning on the doorway, “god, Bee, what the fuck are you doing just standing there?”

“I didn’t want to interrupt your karaoke session,” he stated, pushing off the wall to walk closer to you. 

“You weren’t supposed to see that.” 

“Don’t be upset, it was adorable.”

“I’m not trying to be adorable,” you scowled, turning back to the eggs that were still cooking. Feeling Joel stand right behind you, holding onto your hips as he dipped his head to kiss your neck, “better watch yourself, Farabee.”

“Babe, I’m just messing with you. Whatcha making?”

“Well, right now I’m making eggs and I was about to start the pancakes,” you said, listening as the song changed to ‘Just Wanna Be With You’, smiling as you heard Joel mumbling the words into the crook of your neck. 

“Babe, c’mon, it’s a duet. So you have to ‘do it’, you know?” he said, taking a step back from you, grabbing onto your waist once more to spin you around to face him, as he started obnoxiously singing the words. 

“Maybe you should stick to hockey, Bee. Singing is not your forte,” you said, laughing. 

“You’re ruining the moment, sweet pea,�� he said, spinning you around. You joined him in the singing and dancing, laughing whenever either of you messed up the words. As the last words rang out, his lips met yours, you smiled into the kiss as you heard ‘The Boys Are Back’ start to play. 

“You guys should listen to this in the locker room, I think it’s perfect for game days,” you smiled, double checking the eggs once more. 

“Oh, yeah? I’ll make sure to mention it to them.” 

The two of you ate your breakfast in comfortable silence before getting ready for your PT appointment, you borrowing another one of Joel’s shirts to wear with the leggings you had worn the day before. 

“I want to warn you,” you started as Joel parked the car, “Adrian is kinda a handful. He’s super nice, but he’s, uh. He’s Adrian.”

“Got it, alright,” he said, genuinely unsure of what was about to go down. 

Lacing your hand in his, you led the way to Adrian’s office, walking right in as you saw that his door was open, “ooh, it’s my Olympic Superstar,” he said, quickly glancing behind you, “ooh, and the hockey superstar? Okay.” 

“Hi, Adrian,” you sat down on the bench, Joel sitting in the chair beside you, “ this is Joel Farabee. Bee, this is Adrian Michael.”

“I see why you were super nervous to text him, he’s pretty,” Adrian said, removing your knee brace, “she literally threw the phone right after texting you one day, it was so funny.”

“Adrian, your face is right by my leg, if I kick my leg hard enough, I could easily do some damage.”

“Awe, babe. Don’t be mean. Adrian, what else happened?” Joel said, smirking. 

“Oh, I like him, I approve,” Adrian said, glancing up to see you hiding your face with your hands, “I told her she was a dumbass for not talking to you about how she felt, but I’m assuming she did that since you’re here right now.” 

“Yeah, I agree, she is kinda a dumbass at times,” Joel said, trying not to laugh.

“You’re a dumbass, too, so don’t even,” you said, shooting a glare his way.

“Alright, kids. I can tell you’re the perfect match for each other, but good news is your knee is getting better. I can tell you actually listened to what I told you to do this time around,” he said, grabbing some athletic tape,” I know the two weeks aren’t exactly done, but you only have two days left, so I’m going to wrap up your knee for now. But you can start training, minimal pressure on your legs , no hard landings, no vault or tumbling,  you know the deal. But keep up what you’re doing, you’ll be all set to start training as soon as a week.”

“Wait, really?” you smiled as he nodded in response. 

“But you have to be smart about your training. Stick to mainly conditioning and drills for right now, only do pit landings if you need to work on any dismounts, actually use the athletic tape, and if you feel any pain, you let me know ASAP.”

“Ok, cool,” you smiled, ready to go to the gym now. 

“Knowing you, you’ll be at the gym later tonight, but don’t do anything dumb,” Adrian said, rolling his eyes, “and keep her line, pretty boy.”

“I’ll try my best,” Joel said, smiling. 

“Alright, you should be all set then. Good luck, superstar.”

“Thanks, Adrian,” you said as you walked out the door. 

…..

Joel knew that you wanted to go to the gym to at least do something since you were finally able to, so he took you to your apartment to get your gym bag right after lunch. As soon as you got there, you asked Michelle and Marcus if you would be able to have some time in the back gym - which was essentially the same as the main gym, it just held some of the older, but still safe, equipment. 

Setting your bag down, you decided to start on floor with basic skills, just to get in the groove of doing actual skills again. Stretching first, you made your way to the floor to get started. As you got back into doing some easy skills - with no harsh landings, obviously - you made your way to beam and bars, knowing that vault would be too hard on you right now. 

You were able to work on some of the skills that you had done for years now, there were only a few things that you couldn’t work on that weren’t dismounts or tumbling. You were just happy to be back to where you felt most at home. 

As you did your cool down workout, you had gotten your phone out, scrolling through twitter to see the usual mentions that you would see on the daily. But recently, there were a lot more negative things said, more comparison to your teammates and competitors, and people doubting that you deserved this. 

Joel quickly saw the way your face fell as you looked at your phone, he could only assume that you had seen something that had completely ruined how happy you were. He reached over to grab the phone from your hands, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Bee. Don’t worry about it,” you said, trying to grab the phone from his hand. 

“y/n/n, I know something is up, what happened?”

“Just people saying shit, it’s nothing.”

“See, on any regular occasion, it would be nothing. You block whoever, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we’re talking about the Olympics here, babe. Everyone here supports and believes in you, so what you do is, you go out there and you prove to those people that you deserve your spot. The only opinion that matters is yours at the end of the day,” he smiled, “so, are you going to let them get to you? Or are you going to prove them wrong?”

“I mean proving them wrong is probably the better option, you know,” you said, jokingly. 

“Let’s try that answer again. Which one are you going to do?”

“Prove them wrong.”

“That’s my girl,” he said, leaving you stunned for a moment as he helped you get your gym bag together. When he noticed you still standing there, he quickly turned around, “are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. You just said ‘my girl’, I just - I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Did I just make the y/n y/l/n flustered? Awe, and she’s blushing. Oh my god, are you guys seeing this?” he yelled out to the empty gym, “Hm, and there for a minute I didn’t think you felt anything.”

“Shut the fuck up, Farabee,” you said, rolling your eyes. 

“And we’re back to our regularly scheduled programming,” he said, mocking an announcer’s voice. 

“You’re an idiot, Bee.”

“I’m your idiot, though,” he said simply, leaving no room for debate. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you smiled, the two of you walking back towards his car with your hands intertwined. 

…..

As the days passed on, since you still had limited practice time, you were able to attend games and team celebrations as the Flyers got closer to the playoffs. Karly even convinced you to sit with her and the other WAGs at a few games. 

“Hm, it’s almost like I told you that you would end up sitting up here with us one day,” Karly said, rolling her eyes. 

“Yes, Karly, you did indeed say that,” you grumbled. 

“Awe, Sunshine, it’s okay to admit that you’re wrong sometimes.”

“I strongly disagree,” the two of you made your way back to your seats, smiling when you saw Joel messing around with Phil during warm up. 

“You are so in love with him, it’s crazy,” Ryanne said as she sat down beside you. 

“What? No- not today. I tolerate him more than I tolerate most people, but I don’t love him,” you rushed out, still in shock from what you had just heard. 

“Just because you don’t say it out loud doesn’t mean it’s not true, you know,” Karly added. 

“Yeah, but- that’s kinda scary,” you sighed, looking out onto the ice as you saw Joel laughing at something Nolan had said. 

“Love is scary sometimes, but with the right person, it’s super easy to do. It happens, but you better not run away from it this time. You both deserve it and you’re both happy, so don’t run,” Ryanne said, holding Gavin on her lap. 

You didn’t say anything in response, simply watching as the game started. This game was the last game that they had before the playoff games, so you could visibly see the tension rolling through the team as the game started. 

By the second period, the game was tied - Joel, Nolan, and Claude having scored . Third period was their make it or break it moment, so everyone in the stands was watching intently as the period started. As the period progressed, both goalies were doing a great job of keeping goals from being scored, meaning that by the end of the third period the score was still tied. 

With no points being made during overtime, a shootout was set to happen. Karly quickly gripped your hand as the two of you watched as Nolan skated onto the ice. “Nolan, c’mon, you got this,” you mumbled mostly to yourself. Watching intently as Nolan started skating towards the goal, watching as he made his way towards the goal, pulling his stick back and hitting the puck. Right into the goal. 

The whole arena erupted in cheers as the boys celebrated, you and the other WAGs smiling as you watched the team that had grown so much this season make more progress towards their main goal. As spectators left the arena, you made your way down to the tunnel to wait on Joel. 

You waited anxiously for Joel to exit, your eyes glued to the door every time you heard it open, “you watching the door isn’t going to make him leave any faster. Trust me, I’ve tried,” Ryanne said, smiling. 

“Yeah, I’m still going to try it though,” you laughed. 

“Figured.” 

You spent some time holding Gavin, trying to get him to sleep, so that Ryanne wouldn’t have to worry about it, “you know, you’re really good with kids.”

“Ah, ah, ah. You already brought up me being in love with Bee earlier, I’m not having this conversation,” you said, looking up to see Ryanne watching behind you. 

“You’re in love with me?” a familiar voice said from behind you, causing you to almost give yourself whiplash as you turned around. 

“Uh, hi, Bee,” the tension in your body immediately dissipated when you saw the smile that was now on his face, “yeah, Bee. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he said, softly before his lips met yours gently. “I don’t think this day could get any better.” 

“It would be a lot better if you didn’t kiss her in front of me, Beezer,” Kevin’s voice boomed from the other side of the hallway. 

“What was that, Hayesy? It almost sounded like you said something, I don’t know for sure though,” Joel said, wrapping his hand around your waist. 

“I’m proud of you, babe. You did it,” you whispered, leaning into his side. 

“Dude, imagine. ‘Stanley Cup Champion dating Olympic Gymnastics Champion,’ I like the sounds of that.”

“Hate to break it to you, but it would definitely be ‘Olympic Gymnastics Gold Medalist dating Stanley Cup Champion. You know the Olympics are kind of a big deal.”

[silkylious]

Safe (Kaminari Denki x Reader)

Warnings: slight angst/insecurities, comfort, fluff Pairing: kaminari denki x reader Prompt: #58 “You make me feel safe”

A/N: idk why but i hc that kaminari is actually very insecure but jokes around and shit as a coping mechanism. can you sense the self projection here. hope you enjoy this, it was very fun to write!

You sprung forward, eyes wide awake with alarm. Your mind struggled to catch up with your body; phantom sensations still lingering on your skin, static scenes of vibrant blue flames scorched into your brain as your heavy breaths died down into a slightly more regulated rhythm. This was the fifth time this week. It’s been two full months since the training camp, two full months since you’ve moved into the dorms and you still weren’t over it yet. The nightmares just wouldn’t stop.

You plopped back down on the mattress, exasperated and thoroughly annoyed at having your precious slumber cut short. Again. Honestly, for such a prestigious school, U.A. has probably the worst counseling team you’ve ever seen­– or haven’t seen, because despite several of your classmates showing painfully obvious signs of trauma, the school staff has barely stepped in. You huffed at the administration’s incompetence, turning on your side to glare at nothing in particular. A ping interrupted your train of thought, drawing your attention to the device laying on your nightstand. You snatched your phone, unlocking it and immediately squinting at the brightness before checking the time. Three in the morning. Who the hell would text you at ass o’clock in the morning? You knew who.

Pika pika⚡: [image] [image] [image]

some maymays for when you wake up 😌😌

You: they’re called memes ffs

Pika pika⚡: you’re awake??👀

You: no.

The message was left on seen, though the interface of the messaging up was replaced by that of an incoming call. You rolled your eyes, though a slight smile stretched your tired features at the picture of you and Kaminari grinning at the camera. You accepted the call.

“Why are you up?” His voice came through mildly distorted but still as loud as ever, too loud for three in the fucking morning.

“Can’t sleep,” Your answer was slightly muffled by a yawn, betraying just how exhausted you were. The silence that proceeded was deafening, neither of you uttering a word, but you could faintly hear his even breathing. It was oddly calming. You sigh, lids blinking to fight off your drowsiness.

“…You’re still having nightmares?” Words tinged with worry, his voice was much quieter now, gentler. If anything, Kaminari was a great friend. He’d proven that to you time and time again. He was the only one that could tell when you were drowning in hushed misery, seeing through your well-constructed front like it was second nature to him. For someone so astoundingly moronic, he was extremely socially intelligent, and even observant when he wanted to be. And for the umptieth time, he’s showing you just how easily he could pick up on the small traces of discomfort in your voice, the silent plea left unspoken from your lips.

“Yeah…” The reply didn’t come out as resolute as you’d wished it would have been. But it couldn’t be helped. No matter how hard you willed yourself to level your tone in hopes of fending off his concerns, you knew it would all crumble at some point. Go figure your strong façade would fall apart in front of him. It’s always been him. For some reason unknown to you (yet), confiding in him just felt right, secure.

More silence ensued.

Denki was a natural at detecting people’s emotions, but that’s as far as his expertise would go. Sure, he knew how to encourage others, pushing them past their insecurities was as easy as breathing to him. With bright, golden hues and an obnoxiously dorky grin, all he had to do was utter a few optimistic words and that would get the job done. But comfort? Vulnerability? That was so far beyond the shallow waters he’d grown accustomed to. Sentimentalities weren’t his thing, he simply didn’t posses the wisdom and eloquence needed to deal with such situations. His immediate reaction would be to crack a joke, fruitless attempts at lightening the mood but he knew there was a time and place for jests, and this wasn’t one of them. Awkwardness and half-hearted jabs were his immediate reaction… because that’s how he dealt with his own problems too.

“Hey… can I come over? We can play animal crossing or something,” You sure as shit wouldn’t be able to sleep, not in this state. You needed a distraction. A friend.

“What if we get caught?”

“Would you even care if we got caught?”

A light chuckle. “No,”

“Exactly. I’ll be there in a bit.”

The line went dead, he stared at the blank screen of his phone before flopping onto his back. Why you’d be so open with him of all people when he saw just how uneasy around his other classmates, he didn’t know. The list of people he thought were more deserving of your trust was almost unending, and he wasn’t even close to the top of it. One thought brought forward another, each one getting progressively more deprecative, and the sloppily sewn patch over his self-doubt started to tear, ripped off its poorly embedded stitches. He was confident in himself, until he joined class 1-A that is. He just felt… there compared to his peers. His body was nothing to laugh at, but his build was still considerably lean compared to the people he was around. The fact that such a talented, hardworking person had taken interest in him was frankly baffling. He wasn’t as flashy as Todoroki, or as powerful as Bakugo, or as brainy as Midoriya. He was just him. Lackluster, average him. It only added insult to injury when he’d witnessed how they looked at you. They pined for you, and he couldn’t blame them. He craved you too. But god, the nagging thought that you were wasting your time hanging around someone like him, that he was stealing you away from people who were (in his opinion) glaringly more worthy of cherishing you than him, it just wouldn’t go away. You had so many stronger, smarter, better options out there that he couldn’t help but be reminded of how lacking– inadequate he was compared to seemingly everyone else. And yet you chose to get close to him. In a superhuman class full to the brim with prodigies and workaholics, you picked him. It didn’t make the slightest bit of sense.

He was fished into reality and away from his sea of self-doubt when he heard three consecutive knocks on his door. Just how long had he laid there, wallowing?

The door creaked open and you were greeted with the glorious sight of Kaminari in a Pikachu onesie, a ruffled (adorable) tuft of electric, blonde hair peeking out from under the hood. You snorted.

“Nice pj’s,”

Denki blinked, looking down only to realize that he hadn’t changed out of his onesie because of his overthinking session. An embarrassed chuckle escaped him as he scratched at the side of his cheek, a lopsided smile and a cherry tint creeping up his complexion.

“What can I say, I always have to be on brand.”

You loved that about him. He seemed so laid-back, uncaring, willing to roll with whatever punches were thrown at him, playing off jocular comments and rude insults alike with practiced ease. Giggling past him, you situated on his bed, ready to forget about your nightmares and just have fun with your friend. And if Denki was a genius at anything, it was having fun.

Hours flew by at the pace of minutes, it was now six in the morning, the sun had begun to show its yellow glow and you’d spent the entirety of dawn kicking Kaminari’s butt at Mario kart, sharing laughs and fleeting touches. He liked this, you liked this. Despite knowing that he wasn’t by any means the best suitor for you, he couldn’t halt the need to monopolize you. How could he, when your very presence (unbeknownst to you) shoved his insecurities unceremoniously into the backseat in favor of enjoying the moment with you? He hadn’t a clue how you did it, but you always managed to shoo away his doubts just by being there, and he selfishly couldn’t (and wouldn’t) let go of that. You immersed him in riveting ventures of the now, miles and acres away from his overbearing thoughts. All without even trying, without even knowing it.

It was the weekend (thank fuck) and sleeping in sounded like heaven on earth right now. If it weren’t for your nightmares. The fear of recounting those horrid memories in horrific detail again barred your eyes from sleep, regardless of how spent you were. Apparently, Denki’s spidey-friendship senses kicked in again, because he immediately noticed the apprehension on your face, the stiffness in your movements as you were preparing to leave. He knew exactly what was up with you, and he couldn’t let you leave like that, it would eat him up for days. He grabbed your wrist as you turned for the door.

“Do you wanna stay?”

Maybe it was your exhausted mind finally turning into mush, or maybe it was the softness in his voice, the docile concern in his eyes that made you agree on staying. Your compliance surprised you both, honestly. You were both very aware that you wouldn’t have accepted the offer had it been anyone else. But in retrospect it seemed rational. After all, throughout the whole night, not once did you think back to the horrors that would visit you in your sleep, not once did you feel the crippling anxiety clawing at the frayed edges of your psyche. Instead you felt secure, sound. Safe. And you came to an epiphany. Maybe it wasn’t the idea of sleep that scared you, maybe it was the impending loneliness, isolation and uncertainty that you’d often experience without him.

“Yes,”

You laid there, facing each other, a considerable distance between you. No words exchanged, yet you could tell there was a lot on his mind. He decided to voice it all in one question. He knew you were smart enough to catch the underlying self-doubt in his vaguely worded inquiry. Whether you pointed it out or not was entirely up to you, however.

“Why did you say yes to me?”

The articulation caught you off guard, you’d never seen him so… unsure before. Your mind raced with the different possible implications behind his wording, though you decided to quell them all with one single sentence. You smiled, soft and lazy, moving closer to seek out some of his warmth.

“You make me feel safe, Denki.”

And he really did. Even though you came to the revelation mere minutes ago, you accepted it swimmingly, it felt right to do so. It startled you how ready you were to embrace the newfound feelings, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Kaminari was stunned, to say the least. He hadn’t expected that response from you and he honestly still couldn’t rationalize it completely either. But for now, the budding feeling in his heart trumped over his ever-present uncertainty, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[of-house-atreides]

This article is breaking my brain

Have you read this article ?

TW: mentions of suicide and also I’m an angry petty bitch

Yes I know this article is from like three weeks ago but I just found it... and I have things to say.

I swear I can’t handle this anymore...

“But today, Loki steps out of his brother’s shadow”... to step in another one. It be the TVA or Sylvie, just... take your pick.

“resuming his role as the God of Mischief” um where? when?

The comedy part is debatable but fine, whatever... I must have missed the noir crime-thriller bit maybe it was between two scenes of Loki getting his ass kicked by literally everyone in this show.

Yeah you forgot that end-credit scene showing Loki alive and well in IW/Endgame.

And no, alternate/variant Loki doesn’t count, he’s not the same person/character.

Because of course when you think of Loki you instantly think his story should take place in a “bureaucratic nightmare” -

And why not hire competent experienced people for Multiverse of Madness and Loki? Is this Marvel’s way of telling us they don’t really care about these projects?

Kevin really said “no experienced writers on this project, let’s just hire whoever” - or maybe it’s a budget thing? Less experience means less zeros on the pay checks?

Wow, ok.

So not a fan of the movies nor a fan of the character, just a fan of the genre, that explains a lot...

“what was really important to me was stripping away all the fantastical elements” ... ?? I’m sorry?? What?? So removing all the fantastical elements from a show titled after who is supposed to be the main character who is a GOD and a prince from another realm/planet was what was important?? The Trickster God of Mischief, magic wielder, master of illusions NEEDED to be stripped from his FANTASTICAL ELEMENTS???

ffs

“find the heart of this story” - is the heart of this story Loki becoming best friends with his (mental and physical) torturer after what? 2 days? Was it falling in love with the ‘superior’ version of himself after only 13 hours together? I’m still looking for the heart of this story.

“what is the relatable message at the center?” - well apparently it’s ‘you can be a God and a warrior with magical powers but still get your ass kicked by literally everyone all the time and never use your strength and skills to fight back’. Or it’s the power of love, idk -

Oh wait, is it falling in love with the female version of himself? For a weird ‘love yourself’ metaphor? That must be it.

Or maybe it’s jet skis.

Ah yes, the ‘you can be good, actually’ message of this series that is so subtly presented to us...

They really missed the whole fucking point of Loki.

They missed it so bad they made him call himself a narcissist (which he isn’t btw).

For the record, Loki is a prince of Asgard who learnt one day he was adopted and in fact taken from one of Asgard’s worst enemies, the King of the Jotuns, aka Frost Giants “the monsters parents tell their children about at night”. He found out he was not only adopted but also abducted and not out of love. He feels not only betrayed but he thinks he understands now why Odin always favoured Thor and why he’d never have the same love from Odin that Thor has had his whole life. He thinks of himself as a monster and wants to be worthy of Odin’s love. So he tries to get it. And sure, he doesn’t do it in the best way, and yes, he is the villain of that story. But Loki isn’t a villain. He doesn’t like to make people suffer, he did it out of pain, out of hurt. The events in Avengers was after he was thoroughly tortured and coerced by Thanos to invade Earth. There is even a moment in the end when Thor asks him if he thinks this ‘madness would stop under his rule’ (or something along those lines) and he looks unsure and regretful. But due to the fear of Thanos and insecurity about himself (love is weakness or whatever) he keeps going. He redeems himself in Dark World, again in Ragnarok and yet again in IW and he was thrown in the trash for it.

Yes, Loki’s story is complex, but it really isn’t that complex... So maybe Loki is a “scared little boy” but his way of acting out makes sense and there’s a legitimate reason for it that was not explored in the show. And his backstory is probably what she called the “bells and the whistles”... 

“we literally delete his universe” - and apparently you deleted his personality too

“it’s a story of reinvention ... can Loki find goodness in himself?” - again, you’re missing the point. Loki is insecure, but not about his ability to do what’s right, but about whether or not he is worthy of love! Finding goodness within himself comes AFTER!

“Loki’s journey, to me, is really about acceptance of himself” - several questions here, um, first, what about himself does he need to accept? That he’s a Jotun? The show never mentions it. That he’s done bad shit and should forgive himself for it? Give him a reason to. Self-love doesn’t come after being mentally and physically tortured by some guy who acts like he’s your best friend after 2 days of working together and being yelled out that “he can be anyone he wants, even something good”.

Show, don’t tell, isn’t that the point of your job?? The job you begged for??

Loki’s journey should have been about self-love and no, falling in love with the female version of yourself (who keeps saying they have nothing in common (because they don’t!)) doesn’t count!

“a more mature and darker path” ...

well this is interesting... was making Loki a clown and the butt of every joke part of making the show mature and dark? Were the terrible attempts at humour? Him being beaten up every two seconds? Having him say lines he’d never say in a million years just to be funny but since it’s out of character for him it fails completely? Was making him incompetent and a complete idiot part of that attempt of making the show mature and dark?

Is that why there’s no magic? You cut off the magician so your show would be more “mature and dark”?

Having him cry every episode doesn’t make your show mature and dark.

Loki from Thor, Avengers, the Dark World and even IW is mature and dark. Your Loki from your series is just a pathetic clown.

“don’t give viewers the story they are expecting” - I personally wasn’t expecting any story, I just wanted Loki, you know, in this Loki series, supposedly all about Loki, and you guys couldn’t even do that.

So this is the author of the article speaking here, I’m guessing, and I think they’re giving a summary of the show so far, so let’s break this down:

“This is Loki as we’ve never seen him before” - I 100% agree -

“Stripped of his self-proclaimed majesty” - ok, first of all, Loki is a prince, that’s a fact, he didn’t make that up, and for the few years he was King of Asgard disguised as Odin, he seemingly did a great job, so...

“but with his ego still intact” - ah, yes, his ego, you know, because he’s such a narcissist... oh wait -

yes he has an ego, but he has a regal one, not misplaced entirely either - his ego in the show is basically him underestimating the TVA and Mobius (as well as the Time Keepers) - his ego is him getting offended by the variant: the ‘superior Loki’ - his ego in the show is used as a weapon to humiliate and belittle him.

“he faces consequences he never thought could happen to such a supreme being as himself” - he literally tried to k*ll himself in the first Thor - literally a result of his own actions - when he returned to Asgard in Dark World, he didn’t try to pretend he hadn’t fucked up. He didn’t try to hide what he had done (he tries to deny to Mobius in episode 2 that he was manipulating them at the fair) - he sacrifices himself in IW... but sure, Loki from the series is indeed surprised that he is powerless (even when he doesn’t need to/shouldn’t be)

“there is a lot of humour ... he is taken down a few pegs by the TVA” ... he is humiliated by the TVA - definitely not what we were expecting, I’ll give you that.

“sentenced to a lifetime of bureaucracy” - definitely did not expect that either

and here comes my favorite quote: “it’s a sad Loki without any mischief”

yes - yes - yes

that is a good summary of this goddamn show, a sad, pathetic, powerless Loki without any personality 

“fallen God” - yeah that’s definitely not what I was expecting either from the Loki series so good job on subverting expectations I guess...

“who is going to win out in this match between them?”

there is no match - Loki is powerless - he’s been turned into a pathetic docile harmless wet dog - Mobius literally mentally (episode 1 and 4) and physically (episode 4) tortures him, both time in an attempt to have Loki do his bidding - Loki is the dog and Mobius is the master - even when Loki ‘tries’ to manipulate him it fails because he’s underestimating them (by overestimating himself) - he uses obvious techniques to manipulate the TVA (episode 2) and nobody buys it because it’s not subtle at all! Loki is smarter than that, he is a TRICKSTER GOD FFS!

“there is an interesting dynamic between them that maybe you haven’t seen with Loki in the Marvel movies” - yeah, maybe there’s a reason for that... like... he wouldn’t... submit so easily... he’d be wary, cautious, cunning... he’d be... himself...

Sans déconner ?

It’s like whoever wrote the series didn’t actually know shit about Loki... like that wasn’t fucking obvious...

And those lectures were apparently done after the script was written so... again, no surprise there... we can see that

Well...

“we wanted the show to be imbued with mischief” vs “sad Loki without any mischief” choose your fighter

“Loki has this very sensitive, damaged, broken heart with an enormous capacity to feel emotion on the biggest scale.”

Are surprised that only Tom so far has portrayed and talked about Loki accurately?

“loneliness, sadness, anger and grief and loss”

I love this man.

I do wonder what Mr. Branagh thinks of the show...

I’m of the people who see a vulnerability beneath those layers of charm and playfulness. I love Loki because he’s smart and cunning and regal, and elegant and sophisticated. I love him cause at the end of the day, he just wants to be loved, and he deserves to be loved.

And in the end, the only Loki I can’t stand is the one from the series.