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#and if “I don't want to stay in this team” wasn't clear enough.
the-tenth-arcanum · 10 months
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I signed up for a mentorship scheme back when I still had some hope in my heart, and today I had a call with my mentor and needed to share my screen and I completely forgot I had a tab open on LinkedIn job postings
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masterhallmark · 6 months
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Rant incoming
I feel like the problem with a lot of Disney's live action remakes (and arguably Wish) is they're trying to appeal to a crowd that no longer exists, namely the people who used to claim that the Disney Princesses were sexist.
All the interviews tend to include, "Well she's not chasing a MAN anymore" which...almost no one sees the princesses like that, anymore. Virtually NO ONE still believes the princesses are man-chasing sexist caricatures of women.
Cinderella is now hailed as an abuse victim who stayed strong long enough to get help to get out of her situation. Anyone who says she should have saved herself is basically regarded as a victim blamer. And it's very clear in the film she wasn't looking to marry the prince, she just wanted a night off. She was the only one who wasn't in line to meet him. She didn't find out she met the prince until he went looking for her!
Snow White is now hailed for her negotiation skills, ability to calm down after extreme stress (she had a moment of panic and had to cry for a bit, but who wouldn't after finding out The Queen hired someone to kill you?), and ability to take charge of a house of adult men. And again, she was an abuse victim, this time trying to escape ASSASSINATION ATTEMPTS. While she dreamed of her prince, it was secondary to her main goal of SURVIVAL. There are also entire video essays about how Snow White gave hope to people during The Great Depression.
Everyone acknowledges that Ariel wanted to be human BEFORE meeting Eric. We all know she was a nerd hyperfixating on humans, and also standing up to her prejudiced father.
We understand Sleeping Beauty wasn't the main character, the Three Good Fairies were, AND PHILLIP WOULD NEVER HAVE BEATEN MALEFICENT WITHOUT THEM! He literally depended on them! WOMEN SAVED THE DAY! But even then, is it really such a sin for a girl to fantasize about romance and fall for someone with corny pickup lines?
We all understand Jasmine just wanted someone to treat her LIKE A PERSON. She rejected every Prince before Aladdin because they treated her like a prize. So why did they need her to want to be Sultan? How did that make her more feminist when she already wanted to be treated like an equal and have a say in her future? Is it only empowering if you want a career in politics?
We admire that Belle, despite living in a judgemental village, was kind to everyone (even though she found the village life dull), and her story teaches girls that the guy everyone else loves isn't always a good guy. What's sexist about teaching girls about red flags? And she didn't start being nice to The Beast until he started treating her with respect and kindness.
Do I really NEED to defend Mulan or Tiana? I think they speak for themselves.
Rapunzel was yet another abuse victim who just needed a little help to get out of her bad situation. In this case, she also needed to learn that she was an abuse victim, and that what Mother Gothel did WASN'T normal, much like many victims of gaslighting.
And don't get me started on the non-princess animals.
Perdita had a healthy relationship with Pongo to the point she was open to express her pregnancy fears to him, and was ready to TEAR APART Cruella's goons for daring to touch her puppies as well as adopting the other puppies. Like, she was so ferocious the goons mistook her for a hyena! She's basically that "I AM THAT GIRL'S MOTHER!" scene from SpyXFamily if Yor were a dog. She and her husband were a TEAM.....but they made a Cruella live action to turn her into a girlboss?! The literal animal abuser!? THAT'S the woman you wanted to put on a pedestal when Perdita was RIGHT THERE!?
Duchess kept her kittens calm after they had been catnapped and was classy as heck. Nice to everyone regardless of social class during a time period where that was uncommon.
Lady stood up to Tramp when she believed he had abandoned her and didn't really care about her. She found out he was a heartbreaker and was like, "Nuh uh. No. You are not doing that to me! You put me through enough."
Miss Bianca from The Rescuers was IN CHARGE the whole movie, and was willing to risk life and limb to save an innocent child. THAT TINY MOUSE TOOK ON ALLIGATORS! And she picked Bernard to accompany her because he was the only one who wasn't ogling her. And then in the sequel SHE DID IT ALL AGAIN! I wish I were as brave as her.
Like, the public haven't accused these ladies of being sexist caricatures since 2014 (Actresses and actors don't count, they're out of touch like the rest of Hollywood) yet Disney is operating under the assumption that the public still thinks that way, hence all the "sHe'S nOt AfTeR a MaN iN ThIs VeRsIOn" talk.
The live action remakes are trying to attract an audience that doesn't really exist much, anymore, and back when it did exist, was comprised mainly of people who didn't actually watch the films. The Disney princesses are no longer seen as sexist, and feminine qualities are no longer seen as weak or undesirable.
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woso-dreamzzz · 27 days
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Second Time's The Charm IX
Alexia Putellas x Reader
Summary: Your co-workers meet your wife
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The new doctor is world renowned.
A titan in the industry of sports science and flawless in the realm of orthopaedic surgery.
Perhaps there was a bit of sexism in the way that all the nurses assumed you would be a man but each were pleasantly surprised when you walked through the door in your scrubs and were, in fact, a woman.
It was great in fact because male doctors always had massive egos attached and never treated nurses respectfully.
But female doctors always did.
Female doctors always appreciated the work they did.
You were one of those doctors.
If you weren't buried in paperwork or doing consultations and follow ups, you were down by the nurses station with a to-go coffee and a box of doughnuts from the café to share out.
"He took me to Naples," One of the nurses said," We took a tour around Pompeii and ate at this amazing pizza place."
You hummed, writing down something in one of your patient's charts. "Was it nice? I've been meaning to take my wife but she's so busy all the time. I don't want her time wasted if it isn't nice."
"So nice," The nurse insisted," A lot of walking around though so you're sweating a lot but apart from that, it's amazing."
"I'll put it on my list then."
"My boyfriend took me to a football match. He's a Barcelona fan so we went to see the women in a friendly last week."
"My wife was there too," You said absentmindedly," I heard it was a good match."
"Eight-nil to Barcelona," The nurse agreed," They were amazing."
You know that because Alexia came home very happy with her own performance. Two goals. Three assists.
You rewarded her handsomely.
"The women's team are very good," You replied, signing something off.
"Oh, yeah, you go to a lot of matches, right? Are you a fan?"
"My wife's a bigger Barcelona fan than me," You replied.
That was an understatement but nobody really needs to know about how passionate Alexia is about football.
"She always gets me tickets."
"That's so sweet," Another nurse said," It's nice that you care so much about her interests."
"Yeah, I love seeing Ale happy," You said," If that means I have to sit through ninety plus minutes of football then I'm glad to to do it."
The nurses learnt pretty quickly after that, just how much you adored your wife.
You brought her up with conversations that were only tangentially related to her, dropping little facts to do with her at seemingly random intervals.
Your staff now knew that you and your Ale had met at school, inseparable since that first meeting. They knew you got kicked out of your parent's house at eighteen after you married her. They knew that you were currently building a house and had taken her away on her dream holiday over the Christmas period.
You'd never shown a picture of her though and if there was one things nurses loved doing with no one around, it was gossip.
"She must look like a model or something," One of them said," Pretty people marry pretty people and Doctor Putellas is very pretty."
"I think she must be a real sweetheart," Another said," Someone really sweet and happy. I'd be happy if I was married and spoiled by Doctor Putellas. It must be a dream."
"What do you think she works as?"
" A doctor's salary like Doctor Putellas' is enough to support a family on. Her wife probably doesn't need to work."
"I heard they were thinking about adopting. Her wife might want to stay home with the baby."
"Doctor Putellas deserves a housewife to spoil. I bet her wife feels so loved all the time."
"I wish my boyfriend would treat me like how Doctor Putellas treats her wife."
A throat is cleared behind the assembled nurses and they turn around, instantly putting on their responsible faces.
Alexia Putellas stood before them, nervously threading her fingers together together as she stood in front of them.
"Erm...hello."
"Hello. Do you have an appointment? A follow up?"
Since her ACL tear, Alexia wasn't an abnormal presence at the hospital, constantly coming back for follow ups and check ins.
She'd never looked this nervous though, this strung out and anxious.
"Er...no. I'm...I'm here to see Y/n?"
The nurses all nodded.
That made sense. Alexia Putellas and Doctor Putellas.
Everyone had assumed the pair of you were related. You didn't look similar so you were probably cousins or something else more loosely related.
"We'll call her down for you."
Alexia nodded, face shifting from nervous to more stern and stoic, the face that the nurses were more used to seeing on her. She remained silent as they went back to talking, discussing weekend plans and holiday ideas with family.
The squeak of your shoes on the linoleum floor caused all conversations to grind to a half again and you turned the corner with the group of interns that you'd been talking to since one of your surgeries earlier, answering questions in such an in depth way that there was no question of why you were world class in your field.
"Doctor Putellas, your-"
"Amor!" Alexia cried out, stern and stoicism slipping from her visage as something skin to puppy love appeared to replace it," Brilliant news!"
Your own smile split your features as you took two short steps toward her until you were face to face.
Instantly, Alexia's hands went to your hips.
"What is it, Ale?"
"We've got a court date! For Maya! To bring her home!"
Somehow, you smile only widened and you threw your arms around Alexia to bring her ever closer.
"Are you serious? A court date? An actual court date?"
"The lawyers called!" Alexia continued, somehow rushing through her words but still articulating them perfectly," I was in a meeting but I was looking at my phone because it was flashing. I knew I shouldn't have picked up but it felt important so I did. And they told me! Next week! The judge will talk to us and officially approve the papers!"
You were totally professional with your nursing staff. You would banter with them and joke around but you were still so professional. You didn't overshare. You didn't belittle them. You didn't say anything too personal.
Which was why it was so strange to see you pull Alexia into a kiss right in front of them, smashing your lips together as Alexia practically vibrated in excitement.
"We're bringing our baby home," You said against her lips.
"We are, amor. We are."
Movement out of the corner of your eye brought you out of your daze though, dropping your arms until you could take one of Alexia's hands in your own as you turned to face the shocked faces of your group of interns and your nurses.
You felt a little bit awkward now as you cleared your throat.
"This is my wife," You said meekly," Ale."
Not the Barcelona captain. Not the Spain captain. Not Alexia Putellas.
Your wife.
Ale.
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strangersteddierthings · 10 months
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Sequel to Good People - The fic in wherein Wayne doesn't like Steve and overheard a conversation he shouldn't have. Here's the aftermath of that :3
Part One🦇Part Two🦇Final Part
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Wayne had stayed in his bedroom long after he heard the boys leave. Eddie had knocked on his door to let him know he'd be staying at Steve's and to not expect him back until late tomorrow, a courtesy he'd never shown until after he'd been the victim of a manhunt back in spring. Wayne never asked him to do that but he thinks Eddie picked up on how worried Wayne would get if he were gone for any amount of time.
Eddie's always been good at reading people when he bothers to pay attention to them. Maybe that should have been enough reason for him to give pause to his dislike of the Harrington boy, instead of needing to overhear the boy crying about how he thinks there's something rotten deep within him that only Wayne can sense.
He'd been so sure he knew what kind of person Steve Harrington was. Eddie had been hung up on boys just like him pert-near his whole life, Wayne thinks, and it's never ended differently.
It's a Tuesday night and his friends usually gather at the bar on Friday nights, but Wayne needs to get out of the trailer to think. A beer might help. So, he grabs his keys and heads out.
He's been a regular at this bar since before he was even old enough to drink. Used to come with his pa, may he rest in peace, just to get out of the house. He's been a patron longer than any of the staff have worked there, he realizes.
"Hello Linda," Wayne greets as he takes a seat at the bar instead of at his usual table. He'd done a cursory glace when he came in and confirmed none of his drinking buddies were in before choosing the bar.
"This isn't your usual day," Linda says, leaning a hip on the counter, "but it's always a pleasure to see you."
"I got some thinkin' to do," Wayne replies and Linda nods and moves away, returning soon with a bottle of his usual beer. She picks up the bottle open and removes the cap before setting the drink down in front of him.
"Need a sounding board, hun?" She asks.
Wayne does a quick survey of the bar again but it's pretty quiet so he returns his gave to Linda and says, "if you wouldn't mind too much hearin' about how an old man might have messed up."
Linda laughs. "You aren't even half a decade older than me, so you best not be sprouting that 'old man' nonsense around me, 'cause I am not some old lady."
"Terribly sorry, Linda. I'm just really feelin' like an old fool."
A small frown comes to Linda's face then. "Now what could you have possibly done?"
"Well, I guess I'm tryin' to figure out if I did mess up. Eddie's got a friend and I don't trust 'im. Thought I had good reason not to, but, well, I overheard somethin' I wasn't supposed ta and now I'm not sure."
Linda hums, "hmm, that doesn't sound like you, judging someone unrightly. You are usually a good read about people."
"I'll admit, I haven't bothered to spend enough time with the boy to, uhh, judge him."
"Wayne Munson," Linda scolds, "you best not be telling me you judged that boy because of other people."
Judging by Linda's raising brow line, he thinks his guilt must be clear on his face. "You know Eddie, and how people have treated him. And with what he just went through- I just want 'im safe. Sure, his new friend graduated last year, but he was on the basketball team his whole career. And I'm jus' supposed ta believe this one boy didn't side with the group who started the manhunt?"
"Unless you've got evidence otherwise, yes," Linda says, brows furrowed.
Wayne sighs. "I ain't got proof. I got a lot of people sayin' he's good, actually. But it's the Harrington boy. The same boy Eddie would come home and complain 'bout. Harrington, Hagan, Hargrove, though I shouldn't speak ill of the dead. All them boys treatin' Eddie like he wasn't worth nothin' until they wanted somethin' form him."
Linda's mouth is almost a perfectly straight line with how much she's pursed her lips the more he talks, but she doesn't interrupt and no customer calls for her, so he continues.
"And you know what Richard Harrington was like. I know y'all only shared one school year together, but Janice wasn't any better, and she was your year, wasn't she?" Linda gives him one nod in response. "That boy's a product of them. I- You can't fault me for thinkin' differently."
"So, when do you expect Eddie to end up in prison?"
The question throws Wayne and fills him with anger at the same time. "Now, Linda, I ain't likin' what you are implyin'."
"I ain't implyin' nothing," she says, using the same tone with him that he did with her. "I'm applying your logic. Eddie's a product of his parents, ain't he? Al's in prison, and his mama's long gone, bless her soul. And since Eddie ain't sick, last I heard, he must be following after his daddy."
The anger leaves him then, and all he's left with is shame. "Point made. And if I'm bein' fully honest with ya, I don't even need ya to defend that boy. That thing I overheard. That what's eatin' at me. He called me good people."
Linda softens, shoulders dropping, "you are good people, hun."
"That boy told my Eddie that I'm 'good people', and that his parents are bad ones, and I. I don't know what to do about that."
"He thinks his own parents are bad?"
Wayne nods, "is what he said. Thinks I can somehow sense he's also rotten just by association."
"There's nothing to it, then," Linda says, like they've already talked out the tangled mess that is Wayne's thoughts on Steve Harrington and have reached a conclusion. Well, perhaps Linda already has. She's always been bright, and she's usually right. "You, Wayne Robert Munson, need to apologize to that boy. The guilt and shame's gonna put you into your cups otherwise."
Wayne nods slowly, though he isn't even sure if he agrees or is just acknowledging what she said before he takes a long pull from his bottle before lowering both his arms to rest on the counter as he replies, "You're right as usual, Linda my dear. I just gotta let go of the fact he's Richard Harrington's son and try and see just Steve."
"Damn right. Eddie might be Al's by birth, but you raised him and he turned out alright. Maybe Steve got the same treatment. Had his own Wayne around to raise him right."
There might be a bit of truth to that. He's heard enough talk about Steve Harrington over the years to think that. One of his drinking buddies used to be Jim Hopper. He's heard about the amount of parties he'd had to go shut down at the Harrington's house, with no parents to be seen. (Always Jim's biggest gripe back then. "Where's this kids goddamn parents!?) Wayne always assumed their kid just took advantage every time his parents were gone, but maybe it's the opposite. Maybe they were always gone, and Steve had parties to not be alone in his house.
Linda's right. There is nothing to it. He needs to talk to Steve, properly apologize, and go from there.
"It ain't an easy thing, admittin' you might be wrong," Wayne sighs.
Linda reaches across the counter and places a hand on Wayne's arm just below his wrist. Wayne looks up from where he'd ended up staring at his bottle, making eye contact with her. "If your boy is friends with this boy, it's for a reason. Just give him a chance. You are one of the good ones, but even we can have a lapse in judgment now and then. Doesn't make you bad, makes you human."
"Ain't no one perfect but the good Lord," Wayne says and Linda nods in agreement.
"Alright. I'll leave you to your beer and your thoughts for now, but you best keep me updated on your situation. I wanna know how it goes," Linda retracts her hand and heads down the counter to check on the few other people sitting about nursing drinks.
Wayne sits in his thoughts more than he drinks, so by the time he's done with the beer it's warm but that's fine. He will talk to the Harrington kid, but he wants to talk to Eddie first. He owes his nephew that much, and he does recall Eddie saying something to the effect of 'he'll come around' to Steve, and Wayne wants to tell Eddie he'll try.
Also he doesn't want to just corner the boy after he's been somewhat intimidating intentionally. He's going to get Eddie to ask if Steve'll talk to him.
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True to his word, Eddie returns home late the next day. The clock says it's almost 6 when Eddie finally comes through the front door. If he's surprised to see Wayne awake, he doesn't show it. He does work the graveyard shift, and he's got a shift at 10 tonight, usually wakes up two hours before his shift. He'd wanted to make sure he caught Eddie, though, so he's been up since three.
"Eddie, you got a minute?" Wayne says.
"Sure. What's up?" Eddie says as he pulls off his jacket, depositing it on the nearest surface before plopping sideways on the couch so he's facing Wayne.
"I gotta come clean. I overheard some of what you and Steve were talkin' about," Wayne says, because he's a man of his word and he's always been good at doing the hard thing if it also turns out to be the right thing. He's got to be honest with Eddie, so he can be honest with himself. "Heard Harr- Steve talkin' 'bout how he thinks I'm a good person, and his parents aren't."
Eddie's quiet for a moment, blinking owlishly back at him while he thinks. "Oh. Umm. Sorry. I just- I think this is the first time I've heard you say Steve's name."
"Not the part I thought you'd focus on," Wayne huffs a laugh, "but I owe your boy an apology and I was hopin' you could help me make it happen."
"My boy- what is happening," Eddie drops his voice to whisper the question to himself.
"What's happening is I'm doin' the thing I always told you ta do. Taking accountability and fixin' my mistake."
"Oh. Oh!" Eddie narrows his eyes at Wayne, "you've made an ass out of me. All those times I assured Steve you were just being standoffish and you were- what were you doing?"
"Intentionally keepin' the boy at a distance 'cause I thought he was gonna hurt you. I sure as hell ain't been friendly. I been judging him because I knew his parents, thinkin' about how an apple don't fall far from the tree," Wayne stops, giving pause to see if Eddie will speak but he isn't. He's just staring at Wayne like he's a puzzle. "It was brought to my attention that it's mighty unfair to judge someone 'cause of how their parents act."
Eddie's brow furrows and his lips purse. It makes him think of Linda. She'd made the exact same face. "I- Jesus fuck this is weird, but I. I think I'm mad at you. Disappointed."
Eddie doesn't say it with an angry tone, and his face still looks more puzzled than mad, but the sentence feels like a kick to the chest anyway. Eddie and he have never been mad at each other, not in the eight years Eddie's lived here with him. They've been worried and scared for each other that, or mad at someone or something else that they take out on each other, but never mad at each other.
"You've every right to be."
Eddie stands from the couch, paces down the hallway, and Wayne thinks this might be the end of any conversation tonight, but instead Eddie comes storming back up the hall. "So, what, did you take me in expecting me to be my dad!?"
"No. He mighta contributed to your birth, but we both know that man ain't nurtured you a day in his life."
"Yeah, well, Steve's parents didn't raise him either, so all this has been bullshit! You made Steve think he's, he's broken and a bad person! And," Eddie's eyes are wet and he's angry but also about to cry. Wayne hasn't seen him like this in a long time. Not since the day they learned Al was in prison, fifteen years with a chance for parole if he's on his best behavior. Eddie had been so angry, and sad, and hurt by the news. Eddie's like that now, worked up so much he's repeating himself as he hiccups his words out around the lump in this throat, "And, and you made me help him feel that way! Because I didn't take him serious when he said, said you didn't like him! I thought you were being, being a dad, all fake gruff to intimidate the guy I like but it's- you were- FUCK!"
Wayne lets him yell. He deserves it, and Eddie needs it. Eddie's not saying anything untrue. He takes in what Eddie is yelling at him; Steve's parents didn't raise him, and how Wayne's cold shoulder must have added to whatever else Steve has going on in his life.
"I, I h-held him while he b-bawled into my shirt last night! He, he thinks- and you, you didn't even trust me! T-trust my own j-judgment of, of Steve! I, I need- I can't-" Eddie doesn't finish the sentence. He turns on his heel and storms back down the hall, the slamming of his door finalizing this conversation.
To say that Wayne feels terrible is inadequate. He's hurt his boy, and he's hurt his boy's boy, and he's got no one to blame but himself.
Now he's got two apologies to make.
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I tried to tag as many people as I could remember that expressed interest in a follow up fic. I am SO sorry if I missed you. Please let me know if you want to be tagged in the final part. I will only be tagging people who ask to be tagged going forward 'cause it's a lot of people to remember and my memory is garbage.
@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @skepsiss @unclewaynemunson @itsthestrangestthings @emofratboy @devondespresso @finntheehumaneater @loopholesinmydreams @yourmom-isgay @wrenisflying @emsgoodthinkin @messrs-weasley @madigoround @jackiemonroe5512 @gutterflower77 @zerokrox-blog @eriquin @samyuck @lunarmaruna @mugloversonly @kaij-basil-lionelli88
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petew21-blog · 3 months
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Sexy revenge
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I died serving my country as a mercenary all my life since I was left the school. Some might say that I did it only for money and they would be right. I did. It pass good. But I was freaking good at my job. I was a pro. And that's why they always called me back. Why I asked for more and more money and the government always provided. Cause they knew I would succeed.
But once, I wasn't the one picking my team. I always do background checks on them. But this one time I was assigned soldiers I knew but wasn't comfortable working with. Especially this one guy who would kill himself just cause his captain said so. The most loyal one I knew. I knew he despised me for the mercenary job. He did it for country, I did it for money. A loyal dog he was, I called him Rex just to mess with him. He clearly didn't like it. And to be honest, I really don't remember his name.
We were on a mission, the goal was clear. Secure the target, eliminate and get enough evidence and leave immediately.
It went smoothly. But as we found the guy, bombs around. Our squad was separated and I was left with Rex alone. We decided to find the evidence and leave. We were ambushed by a group of our enemies. Thanks to me, we managed to eliminate them all, including the target. But our team was still under fire from the roof. We sneaked up there. Rex was covering me and I eliminated the guy and saved my squad. And suddenly a shot went through my chest. I turned around painfully, just to see Rex holding our enemies weapon after firing.
"Nothing perosnal, orders are orders. You were a pain in the ass of our government. Always wanting more money, making your own rules. They know you're good, but so am I. This way, I'll get medals for saving our guys up here. While you will die here. That's where money gets you." and then he shot me in the head
And that's the last thing I remember. My body was transported back to the States. I somehow felt my prevence around it. The more time passed the more I could see the world around me. I become a ghost. I knew exactly why I didn't pass on. My unfinished bussiness was the one who shot me in the head. But how was I suppose to finish the bussiness now since I was a ghost.
Time went by. My body rotted in the ground. I was just roaming the world without no goal. But one day, I saw a ceremonial in the TV on the street. Rex was recieving a medal just as he said. "That fucker". The anger fuelled me. Revenge is the thing that let's me move on.
"I have to get to him somehow. But he is now protected. Hidden in the army. And I am still a ghost that only now knows how to make lights flicker and slightly move objects. Unless I scare him to death I won't get my revenge. I have to get a body."
The first person I tried on was a homeless person on the street. He was high on fentanyl. That made it easier for me cause he didn't fight. But staying in a body that's this high is really hard. I left his body and tried on some kid in a park and succeeded. Ok, next level. A teenager.
My luck was really great today. I picked one who was a pickpocket and was followed by a police officer. So much running after being dead and the possession made it hard for me to run from him. And I got caught. Whiel we were writing on the red light. Me, still in the teens body, I now focused myself on the police officer on the passengers seat. He was asleep, probably from his night shift, maybe that will make it easier for me.
I concentrated and then my soul just moved a bit to the front. Being accepted in the adult body. He did put up a fight even though He was sleep, but I won.
I opened my eyes. My 'colleague' was looking at me and just laughed. "Bad dreams?"
"What?" my deep voice left my throat. What a manly body I picked.
"You were sharing man. You dreamed of some chick atleast?"
"Haha, yeah that's right" I chuckled and then pretended to sleep again to not let him question me again.
I left the teen thief with my colleague and went to the lockers to change and end my shift
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Taking off the uniform I found out that the police officer, Adrian Jackson, I now possesed, had bunch of tatoos, hairy chest, muscular body and satisfactory dick. Mine was better. But this one is young. Might be nice to enjoy the young fertility again
I went to the mirror to get a good look at myself
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"Ooooooh, look at those GUNS!" I flexed to see what I was now working with.
"This body is really nice. If I get my revenge I could stay being you, Adrian."
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Tapping into Adrians mind I found out what his adress was. And what any man, not only gay ones, would do in this situations? That's right. I went to explore my new body in the shower. Feeling the hot water running down was erotic itself. I missed having feelings.
As I was drying off my hairy dick that just shot cum on the shower wall, I knew there was something missing
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I found the clothes in his closet that were slightly resembling the ones I used to wear. What was now reflecting at me in the mirror was a young, hot reflection of an adult man, very similar to me as when I was starting my mercenary career.
I took a very revealing photo for later. Don't worry, I have to give this body a nice ride. And FUCK how I wanna ride someone. Whoever it is. Man, woman, anyone.
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My plans are about to proceed. I have a body I need to take revenge on Rex. Another step? Leaving Adrian's job as a cop. Becoming a mercenary again. Getting a haircut and get as close to REX as possible.
Surely he will be tempted to take down another mercenary that is just like me before.
Revenge is so sexy if you ask me
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Story request from inbox: You can make a story about an old mercenary possessing a handsome young cop, and turning him into a new mercenary.
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luveline · 10 months
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my lovely jade would you consider writing more about new to the team reader and fresh out of prison spencer?😇🩷i'd really love anything, they make me kick my feet and blush so bad!🥰 love you <3
love you gorgeous <3
“Here.” Spencer puts a granola bar on top of your notebook. 
It slides down the slopes of the page into the centre and disrupts your train of thought. Your stomach stirs, remembered, and your fingertips shake ever so slightly as they curl around his gift. “Thank you,” you say, the grit of the packaging like a pinprick. “Sorry, I was somewhere else.” 
“If you don't eat, you'll get foggy, and then you'll be unhappy,” he says, sitting in the chair between yours and Emily's. 
“And you need a clear mind to work,” Emily says. 
She's Unit Chief, as formidable as her predecessors, but it's her demeanour that intimidates you. She's confident in how much she cares about people and she won't let you forget what this is all for, nor the strength of it. You find yourself nodding like an obedient puppy whenever she talks —whenever any of them talk. 
Spencer watches your expression. You aren't sure why. “And less coffee.”
“That's a little hypocritical,” Emily says, her voice stretching with humour, “but I'll allow it.” 
“That's why her hands are shaking.” He nods to the granola bar, and when you struggle to open it, he reaches for it with a gentle touch. “Do you think you might have a low tolerance for caffeine?” 
The shaking worsens at the question, though it's innocent enough. You don't want to explain why you're shaking because you know it paints a poor picture of professionalism, but you can't lie to them. It almost feels like the idea of shoplifting, the fear of being caught. You desperately want them to like you, trust you, and respect you, and lying this early on won't help that. 
“I need to do better,” you say. 
“You're doing amazing,” Spencer says, as Emily asks, “Why do you say that?” 
“I'm having trouble, uh, sleeping. And remembering to eat enough. That's why I'm shaking so badly. It'll go away soon, I promise.” 
“Are you drinking any water?” Emily stands. “You have to stay on top of this stuff.” 
She stalks off looking pissed. You wince, and Spencer puts the now opened granola bar in your hand, curling your fingers around it nicely. “Here, take your time.” 
You are shamefully desperate for reassurance. “Is she angry?”
“Yeah, she's mad.” Spencer doesn't smile. His voice doesn't betray much else. “She wasn't always good at taking care of herself, either, but now she doesn't have a choice. She has to be the best, and she has to make you the best you can be. Which is why she's angry.” 
“That I'm not currently at my best,” you surmise. 
“That she didn't notice.” He takes a pen from his pocket and a post it note from the table. “But Emily doesn't need to worry, because I'm here, and I would've looked after you anyways, even if she wasn't Unit Chief.” 
You take a bite of granola bar to pretend he hasn't winded you. I would've looked after you anyways. He writes a quick list as you chew, unaware of his affect on you or choosing to ignore it. 
He hands you the note. 
2 meals
4 glasses of water 
4 cups of coffee
702-555-0103
“I already have your phone number,” you say, hot in the face. 
“And you could stand to use it more often.” He takes your shoulder into his hand and leans in, giving you a nice squeeze, his thumb rubbing a line into your blouse. “Yeah? I know this is all harder than it looks. I promise I get it.” His voice creeps down into a more playful teasing, “Why are you so reluctant to call me? You're breaking my heart.” 
You laugh breathlessly. He pats your shoulder. “Finish that, okay? I'll go find us something more substantial for lunch.” 
Obviously you want him to take care of you, whatever that means, but it's still startling. He's smart, and so, so pretty, and he has this obsession with teasing you… if he even knows he's doing it. 
“Oh, Y/N?” he asks from the door. You look up, eyes wide, a deer in his headlights. “You really are doing amazing.” 
“Thank you.” 
Emily comes in a few seconds after he leaves, the biggest bottle of water you've ever seen in her hand, her eyebrows raised sceptically. “What's he smiling about?” 
You clear your throat. “I’m not sure.” 
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sweetbans29 · 2 months
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Down Low - KM
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Pairing: Kate Martin x Reader
Summary: After figuring out what you have is real, you and Kate navigate keeping your relationship on the down low (based on THIS request)
Warnings: very mildly suggestive, fluff
Word Count: 1.4k
Sweetbans Masterlist
AN: Here is another cute KM fic!
"So how are we going to do this?" You ask the girl sitting on your bed. She is wrapped in one of your sweatshirts and holding Stuffy, the teddy bear you refuse to sleep without.
She shrugs. Neither of you really know what to say.
"We take it one day at a time and if it gets weird or hurts the team we stop," Kate says, looking down at the arms of the teddy bear she is playing with.
You nod. Neither of you really want to stop what you are doing.
You and Kate are heading into your fourth year at Iowa while Kate is entering her fifth. The two of you have been doing this little dance around your feelings for the past three years. That is until the two of you both decided to stay around during the summer. Summer was really only about 6 weeks but it was enough for you and her to start exploring the unspoken feelings each of you has been harboring. And boy were the two of you glad you did.
The two of you spent the past six weeks exploring the city and each other. It could not have been better. But now that summer is over and the team is getting back to start pre-season workouts the two of you are faced with reality.
"Mmmhmmm, one day at a time," you repeat what she says but can't hide the disappointment in your tone.
Kate stands up and comes to wrap herself around you. You turn to face her and nuzzle your way into her neck, breathing her in.
"When I say one day at a time, I don't mean my feelings for you. Baby, those are sure but one day at a time with the team, okay?" She explains, trying to reassure you.
You nod into her and know that is what she meant, but you can't help but want this little world the two of you have created to continue forever. Forever in your little bubble was unrealistic.
You let your hands that are wrapped around the taller girl sneak underneath the sweatshirt and allow your fingertips to dance across the skin of her back.
"Why can't we stay like this forever?" You ask, knowing reality is knocking at the door.
"I wish we could, I really wish we could," she says.
The team gets back and you and Kate go back to being 'just friends'. At least, friends in the eyes of the world. But the two of you are still very much figuring out what the two of you look like with everyone else around. As time passed and the two of you established this wasn't just a summer fling, you got so used to keeping your relationship between the two of you that neither of you felt the need to change anything up.
A few months pass and you couldn't be happier. The season is in full swing as games are beginning.
It is a full-team practice day before a big game coming up.
You are intently watching your team run a defensive rotation when Kate comes flying through, getting the block on one of the practice guys.
The team goes crazy as the team on the floor goes to chest bump and gives Kate her flowers.
"FREAKING MOTHER," Jada yells as the team celebrates Kate. The cheers are loud.
"Ha, more like daddy," you mutter out loud before you can catch yourself. You look around to see if anyone caught you little slip and it doesn't look like they had.
To be fair, you and Kate have been pretty active in the bedroom which may or may not be consuming your mind more often than not. It had been a newfound nickname for your girl that was up until this moment only used in the confines of your home.
When you think you are in the clear, you pat Kate's back and head to set up in your zone when you hear it.
"Oh shit," Caitlin says. "OH SHIT!"
Caitlin turns to you and puts her hands on your shoulders.
"Did you just say what I think you said?" Caitlin asks, squeezing your shoulders.
"I don't know what you are talking about," you say trying to cover up your slip.
Caitlin stares you down.
"I know you better than you know yourself, you would not go around calling just anyone that nickname," Caitlin says trying to pull your eye contact which you are actively avoiding.
"Fine, don't say anything but something is going on," Cait says letting you go. You finally let out the breath you have been holding and look over at your girl.
Your eyes meet Kate's and she immediately knows something's off. You wave her off but to your misfortune, Caitlin is out there calling Kate daddy on the next play.
Both Kate and your face are bright red when you hear the name escape Caitlin's lips and it causes the whole team to come to a halt.
"What did you just call Kate?" Jada asks.
"Daddy," Caitlin says. The whole team looks at her like she is crazy. "I am just repeating what I heard."
Caitlin then had the audacity to point at you, the bright red tomato that you are, as ever single eye in the gym gravitates towards you.
You hide your face and groan when you feel arms come around you. Kate covers you from the eyes of the team and practice squad.
"So if Kate is daddy...does that make you mother?" Jada asks pinching at your sides.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me, how long have we known each other? How long have I been saying you two would be a cute ass couple? Do I even know you at all?" Caitlin says barreling into you.
"8 months," Kate says pushing your intruder away from you.
"EIGHT MONTHS," Caitlin yells. "And you really think you know someone. I will be taking applications for a new best friend since BOTH of mine have betrayed me."
"CC, it has nothing to do with you," you say a smile finally making its way on you as you push the girl. "We liked the simplicity and your loud mouth couldn't keep a secret to save your life."
"Hey!" Caitlin combats but all of you know it's true.
You are all laughing and there is a shared sense of relief in both you and Kate. You didn't know how the team would react but it is better than either of you would have expected. Not as a lack of their understanding but more so to your fear.
"As long as I get to be in the wedding, I'm good," Caitlin says.
"Yeah - as my best woman," Kate says at the same exact time as you say, "Of course - as my maid of honor."
Your head whips to look at Kate who is already staring you down.
"She can't be your maid of honor if she is my best woman," Kate says like it's a known thing, Caitlin being on her side instead of yours.
"In your dreams Martin, she has been my best friend since high school - there is no question she is standing by my side," you say.
"She could always officiate..." Jada decides to pitch in her two cents.
Kate and your heads turn to her and simultaneously say, "No."
The whole team laughs as you and Kate continue to bicker. The coaches call for practice to continue.
Any time you were standing next to Kate, the two of you could be seen in the same little argument about who gets Caitlin. It even follows you back to your apartment when Caitlin is sick of hearing it.
"Okay that's enough," Caitlin says, rubbing her head. "I will be neither of your best woman or maid of honor."
You and Kate come to your senses and turn to the girl who just made the statement, now arguing with her as to how crazy it would be to not have her in the wedding party.
It didn't stop the arguing, but it did turn the tables so you and Kate were on the same side.
If you were honest, you would give Kate anything she wanted on your big day and she would do the same. At the end of the day, you both knew what was coming and had no problems with it. It was all a part of the plan. The plan the two of you drew up that first week of summer. The plan to spend the rest of your lives arguing about stupid things with each other because neither of you could imagine arguing with anyone else.
The plan of Kate and you against the world.
AN: A short but cute one in my opinion. Let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for the love and support 💛
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vixen7243 · 4 months
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Undivided Attention: Team bonding
TF141 X AFAB!Reader
Masterlist | Soap | Snake in the Garden | Team bonding | Like a Dream
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MDNI!!!
Tag list 🖤: @jenniferpendragon @amyg1509
Hearing John's rough panicked voice sent a shiver down your spine as you squeezed your knees closer to your chest holding your breath. "Y/N? Dear, please, open the door. What's going on?"
"What do you care?" You croaked out sniffling, the silence deafening making you laugh, "Never cared before."
"Gorgeous, let u-"
"No, no, no. How many times do I have to say ..." Pushing yourself up, "no, " Turning and unlocking the door, "and to just go away?" Swinging the door open you glared at all of them.
They had all stiffened at the sight of you, your eyes were blood shot, cheeks flushed, dark bags under your eyes, you looked miserable and angry. "Luv."
"Go to Angie, tell her all your problems." The look of compete shock made you laugh pushing John's chest making him step back a little, "Didn't think I knew? She can't help but to walk around base talking about how all of you are pent up dogs eye fucking her and begging her to stay with you all." You hated even more that they were just standing there quietly, fear and worry in their eyes.
"Bonnie-"
"Don't, just..." Taking a deep breath as a few tears slid down your cheeks you groaned, "I may look stupid, we never said anything on being exclusive so you guys can do anything and one that you want. I know it's none of my business." The hurt in their eyes as you continued to speak make you choke up, heart clench but they hurt you first. You didn't want to hold back, "But seriously? John? As much as I've comforted you, held you and we've fucked I really thought you would be nice enough to tell me that you guys had some other medic on the missions." The visible flinch as if you had just slapped him across the face made you scowl, you waited a beat, still they said nothing. "Why didn't you tell me you replaced me?"
"I didn't-"
"Yes you did."
He scowled right back at you, you know he believes he didn't technically replace you, but to you, he really did. "I wasn't trying to dear, I jus..." You started crying, he froze, as he tried to step forward to wrap his arms around you but you stepped back shutting the door locking it again. Sobbing you fell to your knees, "Darling, I'm sorry ple-"
"She's touched all of you, I've seen it, none of you push her away, none of you do or say anything. She's clung to Johnny like a fucking desperate slag and you let her! Kyle is so fucking friendly with her you stand right in her shadow. You let her touch your beard, you let her..." Hiccupping you clenched your chest, "And Simon, you were actually gentle with her." You felt so sick, so tired, "I can't look at any of you, I may be overreacting but I thought that after everything you guys would actually care about me." Your sobs broke your speech up but they understood you loud and clear and they broke with you, as you laid before the door crying they all sat down in the hall breaking down with you.
It wasn't till late in the evening that you pushed yourself up and went to your bathroom sighing, taking a quick shower before slipping on a tank top and shorts, combing your hair you looked at your door. Taking small quiet steps you tried listening to the hall, hoping that they had gone to their rooms you opened your door and before you could close the door again Simon held the door open, "Luv, please let us talk to you."
Fighting to try and close it before groaning you pushed back, "What?"
You hated how they invaded your space and all you still wanted was to just lay down with them and have amnesia and live in ignorant bliss. God your heart practically stopped when Johnny got in your view, his eyes just as blood shot from crying, you've barely ever seen him cry before and the few times you have it kills you. "We've told her so many times to not touch us, that she is just there for papers that there's a medic." Kyle said, your eyes still on Johnny.
"We're not saying what you saw didn't happen, but please believe us when we say we reject her, every time." John said, you looked at all of them slowly, they looked just as miserable.
"Guys have only just glanced in my general direction and you guys loose your minds, have done things for even brushing past me. Yet there's a girl throwing herself at all of you and you don't do a thing to her but say some words that mean nothing to her." You say wrapping your hands around your waist.
"She'll get hers luv."
"Why, because now I'm upset and know?" You scoffed pouting.
As Kyle and Johnny slowly walked to you Simon's eyes caught sight of your papers on your desk and while you looked to the other two he read the papers. "Bonnie, ye are everything to us, we've set boundaries and granted we weren't as hard as when things happen to ye but that's only because even if she were to of done anything more compared to the guys getting close to ye..." He was before you and as much as you knew what he was saying that they could handle themselves against her and that she would certainly be at a bit of a risk if the men on base decided to go against her consent. It angered you and annoyed you but feeling the heat radiating from his body made your body tingle and hands itch to reach out and touch him.
"Gorgeous, we'd never let her get anywhere near us more than she was even able to. You're the only person we have ever let near, embraced or loved."
Snapping your head to look at Kyle your eyes widened, "What is this?" You looked at Simon and froze. "You're trying to transfer?"
Fuck, you felt lightheaded as they all looked at you, "I-"
"Darling." You looked at John, he walked up to you, cupping your cheeks he made you look into his eyes, your heart pounded in your ears as everything zoned in on him.
"I'm sorry." Not what you wanted to say but it was the first thing that came out, you felt like you all were mirroring each other in emotions and it was weighing so heavily on your heart how broken they were with you. "It was all too much for me, I couldn't st-stay. I didn't want to see you all with her li-like that." Grabbing his wrists you nuzzled your head into his hands sniffling. "I don't want to lose you guys but..." Looking up you sighed. "I'm tired."
Simon and Kyle flanked you, while Johnny pressed his chest to your back, hands grabbing onto you as John leaned down and kissed you. Breaking, you pushed into him and kissed him back, you felt everyone's lips on your neck and shoulders whispers of them declaring their love and how you own them in every way you ever could. Gasping against John's lips as Johnny ground into you whimpering of apologies and pleas to not leave him. Turning your head you kissed Kyle, hand reaching for John's shoulder holding him close. You'd never been with all of them at once, this was new and exciting as you were on the receiving end of their praise and love, their rough hands gently massaging and groping.
Turning to Simon you moved his baclava up enough to kiss him, his tongue invading your mouth making you moan as Kyle nipped at your neck. Trembling slightly you gasped as you fully turned for Johnny who wrapped his arms around you holding you tightly as he kissed you moaning with you. Feeling as everyone was easing your clothes off, you leaned back slightly for Simon to pull your tank top off and Kyle removed your shorts and underwear. John wrapped his arms around you from behind, as you rest your head on his shoulder you gasped arching when he bit your neck moaning as Johnny kneeled before you, lifting a leg onto his shoulder he kissed your thighs before littering hickies and bite marks along your thighs and close to your dripping cunny, moaning.
"Johnny, please." Whining you pushed your hips closer to him looking down gasping when he latched his lips onto your clit making you moan and grab onto Kyle's shoulder.
"Look so beautiful baby, no one can even come close." Kyle moaned cupping your breast moaning against your neck. Huffing you started grinding against Johnny's face reaching down with your other hand to grab his mohawk keening when he teased your hole with his fingers, his tongue flicking your clit. Already your leg was shaking under you as you turned to Simon to kiss him, your moans muffled against him as you pushed your back into John. Shaking you threw your head back against John's shoulder whimpering before a strained scream ripped from your already sore throat, hips moving quickly with Johnny's pumping fingers. Your leg slowly giving out as you panted trying to push Johnny's head from your thighs.
"Shit, Johnny, please. I came, stop fuck." Groaning you squealed surprised when Kyle grabbed your leg and Simon grabbed the other, working together they hoisted you up, John tightening his hold around your waist as Johnny groaned against your clit the vibration going straight to your spine. "Oh god." Pushing both hands into his hair you tried leaning to Kyle whimpering when you couldn't reach.
As Kyle leaned forward you both collided hungrily kissing, panting into his mouth as Simon leaned forward sucking on your nipple. Feeling the second orgasm flooding through you, you tensed in their hold whining against Kyle's lips pulling harshly onto Johnny's hair making him whimper and moan as he slurped your juices as it trickled down his hand and wrist. As Johnny leaned back he slowly pumped his fingers into you, easing you through your release smiling when Kyle pulled back and you instantly looked down at him, new tears staining your cheeks from ecstasy. Your body shivering as he eased his fingers from you gently rubbing your clit as he put both hands on your inner thighs spreading you planting a soft peck to your throbbing clit and leave open mouthed kisses along your thighs before he stood up slowly kissing you. Kyle and Simon Carefully lowered your legs while John went to your bed resting his back against the wall as he sat in the middle of it, Simon and Kyle joined him on either side while you and Johnny got lost in your own world.
Looking at the others you gasped pulling back tasting yourself now on your tongue from Johnny, crawling up between John's legs you straddle one of his legs while pulling Kyle back to yourself kissing him. Moaning as Simon grabbed your waist and moved you back and forth on John's thigh earning a groan from the both of you. Having already came twice from Johnny your cunt was dripping wet and you were sure John's pant leg was already soaked. Feeling a thick pair of fingers slide between you and John's leg you sighed as Kyle slipped his tongue into your mouth exploring every crevasse moaning when you also slipping your tongue around his practically tangling the two of you. Feeling the bed dip behind you, you sat up and looked down biting your lip as John's fingers slowly worked your overstimulated clit. Griping John's shoulders you whined, "Mark me." Gasping as Kyle also slipped his fingers down, your slick making their fingers easily pass each other and play with your clit. "Please, mark me, fuck me. I want to mark all of you. Want everyone to know- shit urgh." Your hips stuttered in Simon's grasp as both John and Kyle's fingers teased your tight hole. "Want everyone to know you're all mine. Please."
"How could we say no to that darling." John moaned as you locked your lips with his, the others finding any space on you, sucking, biting, kissing, squeezing hard sure to leave hand prints. Being swept under the waves you leaned back and went to Kyle removing yourself from John panting as you frantically started pawing at his shirt and pants removing what you could with his help. Latching yourself to his neck making him groan as you bit and sucked at him like a leach as you drew a little blood with a bite that was a little too hard but you were happy to see it already start to bruise a little. Pushing him to lay down you went down his body leaving a scattered trail hovering over his pelvic when you felt Simon grasp your hips pulling them up a little. His tongue dragged down your slit, moaning at the taste before suckling on your clit his grip on your ass spreading you for himself.
Pushing fully back against him you continued to work on leaving marks now on Kyle's thighs, his shaking just as much as yours, his cock twitching. Grabbing his shaft you slowly dragged your hand up and down watching as his stomach tightened, moaning looking down at you. Feeling a swift slap to your back side when you tried to pull to sit up happy with the littered marks on Kyle's body you gasped looking over your shoulder at Simon, "Not done ye' luvie."
"But Si." You whined pushing onto his fingers that were pumping into you. "I want Johnny." Groaning as his fingers slid out of you before he man handled you up and sat you in front of Johnny. Dazed you clawed at him, his grin and shiver of excitement pushing you to leave darker marks on his neck his groan vibrating his throat against your lips.
"Come on bonnie, don't leave an inch untouched. Mark me to yer hearts content. I'm all yers. Always have been, always will be." It didn't take you long to scratch and bite your way around his body, loving how he sounded when you would suck dark hickies into him. The whine he made when you withdrew from him made you smile as you leaned over him kissing him, his hands squeezing your already bruising hips.
"It's John's turn baby." You whispered into his ear nipping his ear lobe giggling when he groaned letting you go.
Crawling and turning to John, you smiled as he had started removing his shirt for you, helping him remove his pants you couldn't help moaning with him as the guys took turns playing with your clit, building you to another orgasm. Settling between John's thighs you suckled on his cock, his fingers scraping your scalp before fisting your hair holding you tightly. Feeling someone's fingers pumping into you as the other two abuse your clit you lifted your head up, mouth letting go of John's cock with a pop, "God, please don't stop. I'm so close." You whined grinding your hips with them, walls clenching around fingers tightly before a breathy moan left your throat. Weakly sitting up you looked at Simon, he had removed his baclava, undressing him, you slowly trailed around his body, focusing on his arms mostly knowing that the rest of his body is always covered but on some rare occasions he does pull his sleeves up at times. You still wanted people to know he was just as well marked as the rest.
Straddling Simon after being content with your work you ground on him moaning when the head of his dick kept catching your clit. Getting up to slightly hover over him as he lined himself up with you you gasped as your cunt stretched around him as you lowered down. Moving slowly with his guided movements you looked at Kyle, leaned down by him and started suckling at his cock moaning as Simon started pounding up into you grunting as your walls fluttered around him. Feeling Simon's thumb rubbing your clit you felt close and moaned around Kyle's cock as he pushed the back of your head down groaning as he came down your throat and Simon pushed up into you as he held your waist down against himself cumming deep inside you as you also came.
Panting as you were laid down onto your bed, Simon gently moving himself. You noticed that as Johnny got between your legs, lifting your legs up to his shoulders, Simon had put his baclava back on, you wondered momentarily if he was also over whelmed but your mind blanked when Johnny eased his throbbing cock into your sensitive cunt.
You didn't see the slim figure in the hall or small flash of a light but Simon and John did, both irate, having clearly seen who had caught all of them and decided to take a picture of your most vulnerable moment. For the time being they continued to focus on you, deciding to give the person in the hall a show that will be their last.
John gently ran his knuckles on your cheek as you held your head off the edge of the bed guiding his dick to your open mouth moaning as Johnny's thrusts started rocking you into John, slowly forcing you to take more of him, relaxing your throat you thoroughly blanked out as the two fucked into you. Rightly using your holes as you came again, Johnny whimpering as you milked him but he refused to stop. Drunk off of you, he pushed your thighs down to your chest, his cock ramming into you as John rested a hand on your throat moaning as he could feel his dick fucking your throat.
Digging your nails into John's hips you moaned around him when you and Johnny came, the guys all pouring out their love and claim for you. John groaned as he pushed flesh against your mouth cumming, tightening his grip on your throat feeling his cock twitch, cumming deep in you along with Johnny. As both men slowly pulled out of you, you gasped whining at the lose and stimulation as you were moved careful to lay properly in your bed, Kyle laying with you as Johnny listened to whatever Simon was whispering to him. John got in behind you, cuddling you as everyone massaged your limbs.
Yawning, you wrapped your arms around Kyle resting your head on his chest, humming as John told you how much you mean to all of them. Falling asleep you whispered back to all of them, "Love you guys." When they were sure you were sleeping, Johnny and Simon quickly got dressed and left to retrieve the disgusting little intruder while John and Kyle stayed with you. You were none the wiser of what was happening but in complete bliss.
----
Like a Dream
I've been working on trying to get this done for the past few days and good lord!!🥴 I was so scattered brained trying to remember where each guy was and just absolutely getting lost in the damn fantasy. But here, declarations of love, group therapy, and some pizaz.✨ Really hope ya'll enjoyed. I'm thinking the next post will be a wrap up of this maybe two more posts but we'll see. I do have already another story brewing in my head that's bugging to get out but I want to finish this one. Let me know what ya'll think.
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vivwritesfics · 8 months
Text
(Oh My God) They Were Roommates
Chapter Eleven - Reunited (and it feels so good)
Lando Norris and Y/N L/N were teammates. Tension had been between from the minute they started driving together and, when it only got worse, McLaren CEO Zac Brown decides there's only one solution: Have them live together.
1.9K
Warnings: dick sucking, fucking, mentions of necklace lando (bc goddamn)
Series Masterlist
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It wasn't common for teammates to visit each other in the hospital after a crash. The McLaren team didn't expect it, didn't expect for Lando to rush straight to the hospital as soon as the race was done.
He went straight to her room, where she was laying on the hospital bed getting some well deserved rest. When Lando walked into the room, her eyes flew open. It must have been from the sound of his footsteps, he justified.
She sat up with a groan and looked at Lando. "Hey," she said, rubbing her eyes. "What're you doing here?"
"I had to come visit you, didn't I?" Lando said as he sat on the seat beside her bed.
Y/N let her head fall to the side as she looked at him. "Well, I appreciate it, Lan. But you don't have to stay here. You can go if you'd like," she said and patted the hand that sat on the bed.
But Lando wasn't going anywhere. When the doctor came to discharge her, Lando asked every question he could think of, acting like her boyfriend. When she was discharged (she had flu and slight dehydration, not enough for the doctors to keep her in), Lando walked out holding her things.
He had his arm around her. Keeping her up, he said. It didn't matter whether it was true or not, Lando didn't let go of her until they were back in her hotel room, packing her things.
Lando was supposed to leave Sunday evening, after the race. But he stuck around, waiting for Y/N to get out of the hospital. He was gonna take her home with him, take care of her once they were back at the apartment.
"You gave me a scare there," said Lando as he drover her back to the apartment. "For a minute I was scared you were pregnant."
Y/N ran her hands over her face. "Jesus, shit, Lando. We've used a condom almost every time! You over dramatic asshole." That last bit she muttered under her breath.
She climbed out of the car, slamming the door shut behind her. As exhausted as she was, she still marched away from him, making her way up to their apartment. Lando watched as she walked away from the car, disappearing through the door of the apartment complex.
She hid herself away in her room for the next few days, only emerging to make herself soup and tea. That was what kept her going, the irregularly timed bowls of soup and constant cups of fruity teas.
She wasn't avoiding Lando, wasn't exactly mad at him for being so dramatic, but she didn't want to get him sick. So, she stayed away.
She got worse before she got better, watched her favourite movies on repeat as she waited for her coughing and her sneezing to stop. Every day Lando knocked on her door with a cup of tea, which Y/N took gratefully. She didn't drink it, though. The gesture was incredibly sweet, but Lando couldn't make a decent cup of tea to save his life.
On the first day that she was feeling ever so slightly better, she was bored. And she missed Lando. She missed the feel of his body beneath hers, the way he gripped her hips as he moved her on top of him.
The box under her bed should have kept her company, but she was too sick for that. Plus, it just reminded her of the times that she and Lando spent together, using the items in said box.
She didn't emerge from her room until the second day that she was feeling better. Her throat was still tickling, but her nose wasn't running and she didn't feel like she needed a nap every time she so much as moved a muscle.
Y/N walked out of her room. She sat herself on the sofa, putting her feet up onto the coffee table, and turned on the television.
"Holy shit, you're alive," said Lando as he emerged from his own room.
Y/N cleared her throat and adjusted herself in her seat. "Lovely to see you too, Lan," she muttered, her head turned to the side to look at him. "You want to watch Star Wars with me? Meet your namesake?"
"I was not named after Star Wars Lando," he insisted as though they'd had this conversation several times before.
"His name is Lando Calrissian, you should know that."
For all of his protesting, Lando sat beside her anyway. He copied her pose, placed his feet up on the coffee table (knocking one foot into hers), and opened his arm, letting her tuck herself into his side.
"When do we meet Lando?" He asked, his fingertips playing with the ends of her hair.
She smirked at that. "Oh, in the next movie," she said quietly, taking his other hand and playing with his fingertips.
Lando went to stand up, but she clamped her fingers around his wrist. "Nope, Lan, you're going to stay here and you're going to like it."
So, he stayed. Not because he was sucked into the science fiction movie from the seventies that his roommate seemed to love, but because she wanted him there. As long as she wanted him, he wasn't going anywhere.
On the third day, Y/N was feeling right as rain.
In her hoodie and shorts (with lingerie beneath), she knocked on Lando's bedroom door. "Lando Norrissian! I'm feeling better and I want to get freaky!"
She pushed open the door.
Sat in his gaming chair in his best pants, Lando smirked as she walked into the room. She strode over to him, throwing off her hoodie as she did so. "Fuck me, Lan," she began (which he quietly replied to). "I've been looking forward to this since the last Grand Prix.
She got to her knees, blinking up at him as she touched him through his pants. "Has little Lando missed me too?" She asked, running her tongue along her bottom lip.
"Don't call him that," Lando muttered, but he was hard beneath her touch.
She pushed down his boxers allowing him to spring free. "Missed you too, buddy," she whispered and kissed the head of his cock.
Lando couldn't reply. He simply moaned and bucked his hips up. Y/N kept a hold of him, keeping him still as she took him into her mouth. It wasn't the easiest, considering she was still recovering from the flu, but she still sucked him. Not pushing herself too hard, her gag reflex couldn't handle that for the time being.
Lando's fingers knotted through her hair, holding her tightly. He wasn't directing her or forcing her down onto his cock, letting her control the pace. He just wanted something to hold.
Just once did Y/N take him all the way in. She sucked his head before pushing all the way down, until her nose made contact with his navel. But she quickly pulled away from him, took some time to recover before she started again.
As she swirled her tongue along his head, she moved her hand up and down his shaft. Lando's eyes were shut as he moaned and tugged on her hair. Clearly, he was enjoying it. "Fuck, Y/N," he cried, the muscles in his neck straining.
She pulled off of him. "Your turn?" Offered Lando, but she shook her head as she ran to his bedside table.
"If your not inside of me in the next thirty seconds we will be having problems," she said as she pulled out a condom and immediately tore the packaging.
They'd gotten good at putting on Condoms since they moved in together. No longer did they have that awkward struggle of working out which way was the right way. She kneeled in front of him again as she rolled it onto his dick, stood up and jumped on the bed, spread eagle.
Someone was eager, that much was clear.
Lando grinned as he got out of his gaming chair. He pushed his boxers to his feet and stepped out of them. "Hurry up, Lan," she whined.
Lando pulled off her panties. He climbed on top of her and leaned down to kiss her. She could wait if it meant a moment of intimacy. She accepted though, wrapping her arms around him and holding him close as to not let him again away. "Fuck, I've missed you," she whispered, her eyes shut.
Lando pulled away. He held himself as he pushed forward, gently pushing through her folds. Somehow it felt like the first time all over again. She arched her back as he continued to push forward, until he was fully sheathed inside of her.
"Fuck me," she whispered, unable to hold herself back.
Even when inside of her, Lando was still a cocky little shit. "I'm trying," he muttered through a grin as he snapped his hips forward.
As if on instinct, she wrapped her legs around him, hands on his shoulders as he fucked her. Lando had his hands on either side of her head, looming over her as he moved. His breaths were coming out in short puffs, a sheen of sweat appearing on his skin.
There was no better sight than Lando above her, she decided. If she died now, she'd die happy, the image of Lando thrusting into her forever burned into her memory.
Lando used his strong arm to prop himself up on one hand. The other travelled down, touching her body. His fingertips against her stomach had her gasping, but they kept travelling down, until they were nestled between her folds, touching her clit.
It was quite a skill he had, to fuck her like that while he was touching her. It had her moaning and writhing, oh so close to the edge. "Please, please, please," she cried over and over again as Lando grew faster.
Her walls were clenching around him, squeezing him in a delicious way. He felt her let go, maybe before she did. She cried out once more, her body tensing up, her nails raking down his back, leaving red marks as she came.
Lando kept going. Her nails against his back stung, but he loved it. He'd wear those marks forever, if he could.
Lando's thrusts grew sloppy. His grunts grew louder until he finally stopped, spilling his seed inside of the condom.
Swiftly he pulled out and disposed of it, throwing it away in the bin in his bedroom. Breathlessly, Y/N sat up, propped up by her elbows. "Holy fucking shit, Lando Norris. That was..."
"I'd missed you too," Lando answered as he sat on the end of the bed. He went to say something else, but he hesitated. Y/N didn't notice, though, too distracted by the marks she had left on his back. "Do... do you wanna take a bath with me?" He asked.
Still dressed in nothing, the two of them walked to the bathroom. Lando kept his arm around her as he did so. He sat her on top of the closed toilet lid and set about running the bath water. "You know, if you threw in a necklace, you'd look so fucking hot, Lan," she mumbled, leaning her head against the wall.
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illdowhatiwantthanks · 5 months
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Coming Out
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Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: some explicit language, mention of an unsub hurting Emily 😱, vague insinuations of homophobia, mostly fluff on fluff, feat. loyal himbo Derek Morgan Word Count: 2k
Summary: Emily gets injured on the job, and all she really wants is you, her girlfriend. But she's not out to the rest of the team yet. Can she be vulnerable enough to share that part of herself with the team? Can she be vulnerable enough to let you take care of her? Takes place at the end of S3.E2.
Emily dabbed at her head and winced, checking her watch to see if it had been long enough to take more pain medication. But despite getting clocked with a plank of wood, she was glad to be on the jet, glad to be back with her team because they really were starting to feel like her team. Who was she kidding? She loved her job.
According to the pilot, the team would be landing at Quantico in a little over an hour. Emily grabbed her phone, discreetly shoving it into her pocket, before heading to the back of the plane. She needed to call you, but the rest of the team didn't know about you yet. Hell, the rest of the team didn't even know she was gay. It felt too personal, and she'd been hurt by people's reactions–people she loved and trusted deeply–too many times. She played her relationships and her sexuality close to the vest.
Reid tapped Emily's arm as she passed by.
"Oh! Are you going all the way to the back?"
Emily tensed. "Yep."
"Could you bring me a Sprite?"
She felt her shoulders relax, and she patted Reid on the arm. "Sure."
After knocking on the bathroom door to make sure that truly no one was around, she called you, her voice hushed as she rifled through tiny airplane soda cans, looking for Reid's Sprite.
"Hey, Em," you said, your voice bright.
"Hey," she said, a goofy smile spreading across her face. "What are you up to?"
"Nothing much. Saw a street rat earlier. I named him Guillermo. I think he's on the prowl for a girlfriend."
Emily laughed, covering her mouth.
"How was Milwaukee?" you asked.
"Good. Really good. We got the guy. We're on the plane now."
She could nearly hear how smug you were through the phone.
"You're glad you went back," you snickered, relishing in being right. She'd sworn that it wasn't a big deal, that it'd be easy to get another good job, but you knew her heart was with the BAU.
Emily sighed. "I am. You were right."
"You're gonna stay?"
"Looks that way."
"I knew it!" you crowed. "I'm glad. You're too good at your job to quit it."
"Thanks, love. Listen, Y/N, can I ask you a favor?"
"Of course! Anything."
Emily winced, touching the swollen bump on her head. "We land in about an hour. Can you pick me up and stay at my place tonight?"
"Wow." You drew out the vowel, milking the fact that Emily needed you for once. "You missed me that much, huh?"
"Well, yes, of course, but... I, uh... I kind of have a concussion?"
Your tone shifted immediately from smug to concerned. "What?! Why?! What happened!?"
"Unsub hit me with a plank of wood," she admitted reluctantly.
"Jesus Christ, Em! Are you okay!?"
"I'm fine, baby, I promise," she reassured you. "I just got a little banged up, that's all. But I'll need you to wake me up every few hours and make sure I'm cognizant."
"I think I have some soup in the freezer," you observed, your voice far away. You'd put her on speakerphone to rifle through the cabinets. "And I have a thermometer. I don't know, do concussions cause fevers? I've never had one."
Emily shook her head, smiling. She loved that your first response, always, was to take care of her. Emily was not used to being taken care of, and she didn't let many people do it. She certainly wouldn't let many people see it either. But she let you.
"No thermometers needed. Just you and your car and more you when we get home."
"You got it. When did you say you land?"
"In about an hour."
"Okay. I'll leave in a few."
"Oh," Emily added quickly. "And you're cleared to drive into Quantico. They know the car you drive and they've got your ID on file. Just show it to them at the gate."
You paused. "Well, that's a little Big Brother of them."
"I gave it to them a few months ago. Just in case you ever needed to come by. Sorry, I should've told you."
"It's okay," you decided, pulling on a jacket and a beanie. "It feels kind of badass to be on Quantico's list."
Emily laughed, almost excited to have a concussion because it meant you'd be snuggled right up to next to her for however long it took to get better. 48 hours at least.
"Alright, baby," she finished, Reid's Sprite in hand. "I'll see you in a bit."
"Bye, love."
Emily wiped the grin off her face before returning to the cabin with Reid's Sprite–it'd look suspicious if she was too happy coming back.
An hour later, the team was going their separate ways in the parking lot, waving goodbyes and slamming car doors under the buzzing lights.
Emily leaned on the wall outside the building entrance, relishing the crisp night air.
"You need a ride, Prentiss?" Morgan asked as he walked out, used go-bag slung over his shoulder. "You shouldn't be driving" He pointed to her head.
"No, that's okay," Emily waved him off. "I've got– uh... someone's... picking me up."
Fuck, she thought. The concussion was not helping her ability to lie well.
Morgan stared at her suspiciously.
"What?" Emily laughed, trying to act normal.
"Why are you acting shifty?"
"I'm not!" she protested.
Morgan smirked and waggled his eyebrows. "Do you have a secret boyfriend?"
"What?" Emily said, laughing a little too forcefully. "No!"
He crossed his arms and waited. "You're seriously not gonna tell me?"
Emily leaned against the brick wall, rubbing her forehead. On the one hand, she was tired of keeping you–and herself–a secret. And if anyone was going to be supportive of someone on the team getting laid, it would be Morgan. But on the other, did she really know that much about him? She didn't know his religious background. Sure, he'd defend a gay victim, but that was his job. This was personal.
Emily sighed before replying. "I have... I have a secret girlfriend."
The silence felt like it lasted hours, stretching between them until Emily was sure the chasm would never close again, and that with just a few words, just by being herself, she'd ruined any chance of a friendship with Derek Morgan. It wouldn't be the first time. It probably wouldn't be the last.
Morgan seemed to think deeply before leaning against the wall next to Emily, turning to look her in the eye.
"Prentiss, why didn't you tell us you were gay?"
Emily was afraid to look at him, but when she did, her heart soared. He looked at her with nothing but love and respect and appreciation, no hint of hatred or disgust. If anything, he looked sad that she'd waited so long to tell him.
"I don't know," she shrugged. "I don't always get a good reaction."
"Well, you know nobody on this team would have a problem with that, right? Hell, Garcia'd probably hang pride flags everywhere."
"I know," Emily nodded. "I just... I don't think I'm ready yet. For everyone to know. Soon, though."
Morgan nodded, then thought for a few minutes before asking, "Is it serious?"
Emily chuckled. "Being gay? Yeah, I'd say so."
Morgan shoved her shoulder gently, mindful of the day's injuries. "No! The girl! How long have you been seeing her?"
"A little over six months."
"So, it's serious."
Emily grinned. She was glad to have someone to talk to about this. She'd held it so close for so long. She wasn't used to having anyone to tell about you. Maybe Morgan could be that person.
"Promise not to tell the others?"
Morgan put his hand over his heart. "Promise."
"I'd marry her tomorrow if she'd let me."
"Wow." Morgan raised his eyebrows, smiling lightly. "Prentiss is in love," he said, teasing her.
Emily fought a wide smile, but lost in the end. "Oh, shut up. And don't tell anyone. Especially her."
"Your secret's safe with me," Morgan reassured her. And she could tell he meant it. Emily trusted him, she realized. She trusted him to be a good friend, to keep her secrets. She trusted him not to out her to the rest of the team. He'd let her go at her own pace when it came to telling the others.
"She better be amazing," Morgan added. "I don't know how anyone could be good enough for you."
Just at that moment, a pair of headlights crept slowly into the parking lot, hesitant and unsure. It had to be you. Emily stepped forward and waved a bit, then turned to Morgan.
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow?" she said.
"Not with that head, you won't," Morgan observed.
You put the car in park next to the curb and leapt out of the driver's seat, hurrying over to Emily.
"Oh my god!" you exclaimed, anger and concern washing over you. "I thought you you said you were fine!"
You gingerly touched Emily's face and pulled her head down to examine the butterfly bandage above her eyebrow.
"Look at this," you grumbled, more to yourself than anyone else. "It's already bruising." You glared at the butterfly bandage. "Did a doctor do this or you? If it was you, I think we should clean it with rubbing alcohol at home."
Morgan looked absolutely delighted, both because you seemed like a delightful person and because Emily was beet red at being observed with you.
"Y/N, I'm fine," Emily said firmly, grasping your fingers in hers and removing them from her face. "This is my colleague Derek Morgan. Morgan, my girlfriend, Y/N."
You looked Morgan over and immediately decided you liked him. Mostly because you could tell that he really cared about Emily. But also because he looked mischievous, like he'd tease her. And if there was anything you loved, it was teasing Emily. You shook his hand enthusiastically. "It's really nice to meet you," you said. And you meant it.
But you didn't have time to chat with Morgan tonight. You were too worried about Emily.
"You don't look fine," you argued, looking to Morgan for backup. "Does she look fine to you?"
Morgan grinned at Emily, raising his eyebrows. "She definitely looks like she could use some TLC."
"Oh, and she'll get it alright," you assured him, opening the passenger door for Emily. "Shall we?"
Emily bent gingerly to get into the car, and you were careful to guard her head from the ceiling.
"Derek, it was really nice to meet you," you said, shaking his hand one more time for good measure as Emily rolled down the window, staring bullets at Morgan.
"You too, Y/N," he said, looking over your shoulder at Emily. "I hope you all have a very marry evening."
Emily pointed at him aggressively behind your back, mouthing, "SHUT. UP."
"See you, Prentiss," he called as you pulled away. He laughed and called out, "I hope it's a real honeymoon from work!"
Emily's hand shot out the window, flipping him off.
Later that night, your alarm buzzed and you blinked awake. You forgot for a moment that you were at Emily's, but her strong arms wrapped protectively around your waist were enough to remind you where you were.
You turned slowly to face a sleeping Emily, brushing her hair out of her face.
"Em. Hey. You gotta wake up, honey."
She groaned, placing a hand on her head.
"Sorry," you grimaced. "Gotta make sure your brain's alright."
"My brain is fine," she growled.
"Oh, yeah?" you joked, checking the time before shaking a few pills into your hand from the pill bottle on the nightstand. "Who am I, then?"
"The love of my life, Whitney Houston."
You laughed, which made Emily laugh, too. But she quickly doubled over in pain, groaning.
"Here, take these," you said gently, handing her the pills and a glass of water. "It'll help."
She took the pills obediently and lay back down.
"You know," you said, pulling up the blankets to make sure they covered Emily's shoulders. "I may not be Whitney Houston..." You wrapped your arms around her and drew her to you, and she burrowed her head into the space between your neck and your collarbone.
"But I think I'm a close second," you finished, running your fingers rhythmically through Emily's hair.
She sighed contentedly, pressing into you, then moving one of your arms to wrap it more tightly around her.
"Why are you so good to me?" she asked, quiet. You couldn't quite tell if it was a joke or serious, but you'd reply the same either way.
"Because I love you, you nerd."
She leaned up, planting a kiss underneath your chin. "I love you, too."
Within minutes she was conked out again, and you were setting another alarm, ready to do it all over again in a few hours.
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russellsppttemplates · 6 months
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I want this every day (Charles Leclerc)
Charles has been frustrated with the team's strategies and the results he's been getting lately so you find a way to cheer him up
Note: english is not my first language. I was going to write it earlier on the week, but then I felt like I a jinxing it so I stopped... but after today, I think it's a good place to start...
Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!
my masterlist
Tw: mentions Jules Bianchi
Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3
Another race weekend where he was out qualified by his team-mate left Charles with the feeling that if it came to it, he was almost one hundred percent sure they would ask them to swap positions.
Points for the team would be important anyway and they came away with a good amount and the car showed to be competitive enough considering the RedBull dominance on the grid, but the frustration was still there.
With the team and with himself.
They told him they'd keep him - there wasn't a quesion put down about his contract -, Il Predestinato wasn't something he carried lightly but often times it was confusing. Without the support and appreciation from inside the team, it was proving difficult to achieve their goals.
His childhood dream was driving for Ferrari and Suzuka always carried a heavier weight for him. As he took off his helmet and was faced with the number 17 on the side, he apoligised. To Jules, who he wanted to make proud every day but even more on this particular track. To his fans, who deserved better than this. To you, who were there for him, arms open for a hug and a shoulder where he could cry and let his feelings out on, to hold him and remind him every single time that all of the nonsense commentators and the media still had the audacity to say about him despite his continous shows of intelligence, skill and talent, and to love him.
The way you loved him was something he had never felt before and had never thought he deserved.
The face you were giving everyone in the garage that dared look at you wasn't unfortunately a rare occurrence, hence the fact that so very few team members approached you, "Charles is just finishing his interviews, he should be here soon", Silvia said before excusing herself from the garage.
You walked to your boyfriend's driver room, knowing he would end up in there soon enough after greeting the mechanics and engineers.
He stepped inside the room less than fifteen minutes later, finding your embrace immediately as his arms wrapped around your waist, "it's not fair that this keeps happening", he mumbled.
"I know it isn't", you kissed his stubbly cheek while rubbing his back soothingly.
"I thought I could've done so much better, for the fans, for you, for Jules", he hiccuped, letting himself be vulnerable after bottling up everything he was feeling.
"You did us proud, Charles - he is always so proud of you", you cupped hisface in your hands as you hoped the words got through to him, "okay?".
The flight back home had Charles sleeping most of the time, the whole rush of the weekend catching up with his body as he slept with his head on your thighs, your fingers playing with his locks while you arranged your schedule for the week ahead.
"I was thinking we could spend some time together today", you said over the phone, hoping he hadn't booked anything since you made sure that Andrea and Joris had cleared his schedule so you could make this happen without a hitch.
"You don't have work?", Charles asked, "no, I arranged a few things and a meeting got cancelled", you explained.
"Good, I don't have anything to do either, I was just going to stay home, but being with you sounds much nicer, my place or your place?", he wondered.
"My place, please", you replied immediately, "I just want to change my clothes and I'm feeling like spending the afternoon in", you tried, hoping he would catch on and not mess up your surprise.
"Okay, amour! Do you need me to pick you up from work?", Charles asked and you heard a small smile on his face. You weren't sure why, but Charles really got a kick out of dropping you off and picking you up from work, so you felt bad for the answer you were giving him, "it's okay, you can meet me there, I'm already walking", you said as you drove out of the shop and headed home. It was an inoffensive lie but you kept telling yourself it was for a greater good.
"Okay, I'll meet you there in twenty minutes or so", he said, "Je t'aime, mon amour".
Riccardo seemed to have parked the car at the front of your building, making you get the bag out of your car trunk and join him and his family, "hey guys! Thank you for coming to this", you smiled, touching Chiara's foot softly and getting a giggle out of the little girl.
"No worries, this is such a nice idea and we're happy to help!", Marta said, letting you walk up to the door so you could get to your apartment.
"For the first time in my life, I'm the first one somewhere, and then they showed up too!", Joris said as the rest of the group you invited stood up from the hallway floor.
"I'm sorry for making you wait, but I had to pick these up and then the call with Charles had to be done at the precise time so he wouldn't get here before I did!", you explained, unlocking the door and letting them in.
"So we're fine to wait, but Charles can't wait for you?", Joris teased, making kissing noises as you shook your head, "privileges of being my boyfriend - it is what it is!", you chuckled.
Delegating the small tasks you left for the last minute, Charles' text saying he had just parked the car was enough to capture you attention, "quick quick, go hide in the living room - careful with the board game boxes! He's coming up!", you ushered your friends to the living room before your boyfriend knocked on your door.
"Hello, my love", you said, kissing his lips and pulling him inside the supposedly quiet apartment.
"Hey, gorgeous girl - I missed you", he squeezed you tight once you closed the door, "I was getting in my he - what's that?", Charles asked as a noise came from the living room.
Chiara squealed loudly enough for him to hear, so in part your surprise was not such a surprise, "you're not alone?", he mused.
Lacing your hand in his, you pulled him to the living room as everyone jumped out of their places to greet him!
"Surprise - ish!", you waved your hands as if you were announcing some great show, "I gathered all your favourite people - Lorenzo is coming with Charlotte in a bit, he just picked her up from work and your mother also had a cliente so she'll arrive a little later. Arthur is in the bathroom?", you wondered as you saw him walk out and pat his brother's back, not missing the truly surprised look on his face as he pulled you closer to him, kissing your temple, "you're the best, amour, thank you", he whispered.
You had food laid out in the coffee table and drinks in the kitchen where everybody could serve themselves so you could have your dining table available for the board and card games you were playing along with some building blocks for Chiara who was immediately stolen from her parents once your boyfriend saw her.
"Do we want to make a castle? Or maybe a rollercoaster?", Charles mused with the little girl sitting on his lap, still keeping an eye on his Monopoly game to make sure no one was missing any of the payments on his properties, "Good job, chérie!", he congratulated her, kissing her chubby cheek.
"Do you want me to get you guys anything? I'm already going to the kitchen", you wondered, "can you fill this up for us, please?", Marta asked as she handed you the orange juice jug, "yes, of course!", you grabbed it.
"This was a great idea, Y/N", Lorenzo said whole he poured himself a drink as you stepped into the kitchen, "he's been in his head a lot recently", he began.
"It's not much, really, it was quite easy to put everything together and you being here was very kind", you brushed it off.
"Y/N, gathering his favourite people to do something he loves apart from racing may seem simple but it's what he needs right now - don't underestimate yourself or the ability you have to bring him back to a good mental space", he rubbed your shoulder before going back to open the door, "it's our mother", he excused himself.
You set the jug on the table and took Chiara from your boyfriend's arms, volunteering to change her nappy in your bedroom.
Charles hugged his mother tight, "Hello, mon petit", she cupped his face and kissed his cheek, "I'm not little anymore", Charles blushed, "you and your brothers will always be my little boys, I don't care how old or how tall you get", she smiled, greeting everyone else in the room.
His favourite people were all in the same place, Charles thought. Some were playing cards, some were just chatting and you just picked his friends' daughter to change her nappy like she was your own.
"Do you have room for one more? I'm usually pretty good at this!", Lorenzo said as he sat at the dining table, "you take my game - it's not too bad, just make sure Marta pays up what she owes me - two hotels in my blue cards", Charles raised his eyebrows, "I know you were counting on your daughter's cuteness to distract me, but I have excellent vision", he smirked.
Charles walked to your bedroom, seeing you close the diaper bag as Chiara kicked the air, layed on top of your comforter and giggling at the story you were telling her, "and then I had to tell the lady 'that won't do, because I have my boyfriend's family and our friends over for dinner and I can't have too little food! Even if I have left overs for weeks!' because that's what's right, right? She also had this very fluffy bread that was still warm from the oven so I asked her if she could add that because I knew you'd like it - bread is the best, isn't it, cutie?", you spoke.
You were it, he had known that for a long time.
You were the one he wanted to grow old with and go through every challenge life wanted to throw at you, because he knew you both could face them if you were there.
"And who is that spying on us, hm? It's Charles! Let's go and give Charles a big hug and many kisses!", you smiled, picking her up and approaching your boyfriend, cuddling into his chest as you kept the little girl on your arms, kissing his chest while Chiara palmed his face and giggled when Charles pretended to eat her fingers, "yummy fingers, nom, nom, nom".
"I need to get started on dinner - I'm doing that roast you really like", you offered, "I already prepped most of it, just need to cut up the veggies and then put in the oven, simple as that".
"C'mon, Chiara - I bet my mother is wondering where you are because she'll want a cuddle", Charles took her from your arms, "I'll be back for you", Charles slapped your butt playfully.
You were seasoning the food on the trays, making sure you weren't forgetting anything when your boyfriend walked up to join you, wrapping his arms around your waist, "thank you for this, I really needed it", he kissed under your ear, turning you around to face him and kissing your lips properly, "it's fine", you scoffed.
"No, I really needed it - it's easy to lose sight of these things and these moments", he began, "I was home and getting way too much into my own head and I wouldn't got to anyone unless they asked about it", he admitted, squeezing your body closer to his.
"I'm glad you liked it, it's truly nothing but I'm glad you're happy", you smiled, "I can't control what goes on your mind all the time but I'm going to make sure that whenever you're near me and say silly things about doubting yourself, I will always help you see the truth and work it out with you - no down talking about yourself when you're with me, understood?", you stated firmly almost like you were lecturing him.
"I know, amour", he giggled, kissing your forehead and then littering some more kisses on your face and making you break out in laughter loudly.
The dinner was great and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves as they ate the meal and spoke about whatever came to mind, summer plans already in discussion.
Charles was helping you put away the plates when he decided he would voice the thoughts running through his head. Usually at this time of the day he was already knee deep into strategies and failed attempts, but this time was different.
"I want this every day", Charles said with a big smile on his face.
"Well, not all of us have your schedule, it would be lovely, but maybe making it a weekly thing? Monthly maybe with your schedule?", you tried, not wanting to kick his idea straight to the trash.
"I don't mean that - I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I was wondering if you'd like to move in with me", Charles clarified, "there's no point to keep two places when realistically, we spend most times at eachother's place - you're down to what? Sleeping two nights here per week?", he noted as you smiled.
"You want to move in together?", you checked and he nodded, "yes, I do - honestly, I've thinking we keep my place since you're renting here and that way you'd be closer to work, too", he suggested.
"Sounds good to me", you smiled, kissing his lips, sealing the deal.
"I don't want to be far away from you when we don't have to be, and this way you can save on rent, too!", he added and before you truly lectured him, he caught you ahead, "I know you won't let me pay for things on my own and we will find some arrangement for that, I was just saying you won't have to keep paying your landlord", he smiled.
"I mean it when I say I want to split expenses, okay?", you argued, "unless you start going with expensive caviar or any of that crazy expensive stuff - my salary can't take that", you joked.
"When have you ever seen that in my fridge?", he threw his head back as he laughed.
"I'm only joking, handsome - I can't wait to move in with you", you hugged him, "I love you, Charles, can't wait to be your new roomie".
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mossyivy · 7 months
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Yearn | '24 Alphabet Challenge
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Leon S. Kennedy x Fem!Reader
Summary: You break off your FWB relationship with Leon after being feed up with his lack of commitment. But even after years of being apart and marrying another man you realize moving on was a lot harder than expected. An the feeling might just be mutual.
Words: 7.3k
Content Warning: 18+ content, pet names (sweetheart, angel, baby), cheating, possessive behavior, desperate Leon, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it please!), cream pie, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, praise, degredation(if you squint), spit and marking.
Authors Note: Listen... This is my first time ever putting something like this online so please be nice to me. I tried and think I did decent enough.
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"You want a drink?" Leon asks, pouring whiskey over some ice in a lowball glass. Looking up at you in your seat in one of his armchairs
"No, I need to go soon. Wouldn't be a good idea."
This has become the norm for you two. You come over to his apartment on the weekends. Both of you have packed schedules due to working for the D.S.O. and being on the same team. But coming over usually meant it lead to much-needed stress relief in the form of sex.
Something mutually beneficial for both of you. Leon wouldn't have to worry about you getting attached, since you knew the dangers of your job. And you... Well, you didn't really get much out of this arrangement except to stay connected to him in some form. Even if it wasn't what you wanted.
Leon wanted no string attach, no commitment. No feelings involved in the deal.
But you failed miserably in that department. Already having some kind of undefined feelings for him before starting these weekly meetings. Repeatedly getting hurt by your own actions, knowing full well how he was with this arrangement and what you agreed to.
"You got plans?" His eyebrow rises as he sips his whiskey, rounding the corner of his kitchen island and sitting on the arm of the couch next to you. Sipping his drink leisurely.
"Actually yes." You smile to yourself, gaze meeting Leon's as you look up at him. Finally, feeling happy at the thought of moving on, possibly.
"I have a date with a guy from the office. Shepard from accounting."
Leon nearly choked, covering his mouth with his arm as he coughed. Clearing his throat, his expression shifted to one of annoyance. His eyes fix on you, glaring sharply and unable to hide his obvious jealousy. Something he hasn't felt in ages now.
"And... you just decided to tell me now? What about our agreement?"
You raise a brow, confused by his reaction.
"We agreed what happens in our private lives is our business unless it directly affects one of us."
"But if you date someone, that's my business. You don't think that doesn't affect me too?" His nose wrinkles as he stands up from the arm of the couch, setting his glass on the coffee table.
He can't believe he has to even have this conversation with you. He thought it was obvious enough to not have to say anything.
"I haven't kissed him, slept with him or even held his hand. No germs or possible diseases have been swapped. How is this your problem exactly? We aren't together, we're just in a..."
You stop to ponder for a moment, really thinking about how to phrase this without coming off as a total bitch.
"We're friends with benefits. No exclusivity."
"And if you're seeing another guy, that would stop. I really don't feel like looking for someone else when what we have is good right now."
The thought of replacing you was disheartening and uncomfortable. It took him long enough to open up to you to begin with. Starting at square one again just wasn't an option he wanted to take. Your arrangement was just what he wanted, what he needed to keep his shit together.
"And what exactly did you expect of me, to just sit around and cater to just your needs?"
Your face turns to a scowl, eyes burning with a certain kind of fire that hardly anyone gets to see. You glare at him, hard. He can feel the tension rise between you two.
"I can't just wait around for someone who 'doesn't do relationships,' Leon. I have the right to be happy with someone."
"I didn't say-" He cuts himself off, swallowing the lump in his throat as he feels his face heat up. The irritation in him bubbled up in his very soul as your eyes met. He stares you down trying to get you to crack and look away first, but you don't back down.
"I didn't say you had to wait around for me. I just..." His glare faltered for a second, irritation turning to discomfort at the accusation. "I thought I'd have more time. Not just have you spring this on me so suddenly."
"Why do you think I told you? He just asked me out today, and it was out of the blue. He's a decent enough guy, so I thought I'd give him a chance."
You stand up from your chair, grab your bag from the floor and slide it over your shoulder.
"It's not like you caught me sneaking around, I told you before anything could happen. You're just pissed because you don't want to lose the only connection you have with someone outside of work that gives you the tiniest shred of normalcy."
As much as he hates to admit it, you're completely right. He knows you're right. But he's definitely too stubborn, closed off and selfish to admit it. Stepping in front of the entrance to his apartment, he crosses his arms, determined not to let you leave until everything is settled and hopefully in his favor.
"Listen, I know I'm not a relationship guy. But I'm human. I have feelings and... And needs still."
"So am I." You turn, crossing your arms as you stare back at him.
"The only reason I agreed to this situation to begin with is because... I just wanted to be closer to you and I knew you didn't do relationships." Your own words sting, admitting what you felt. And even with the new revaluation, you looked hurt over the situation.
"And I can't just sit around hanging on to the tiniest shred of hope that you'll change. That's not healthy... So I think it's time for, whatever we have, to just stop and for me to move on. And finally get fulfillment out of a relationship someone can commit to me in."
But your words cut deep. You were completely justified, Leon knew that. Despite knowing you were in the right, Leon couldn't help but feel like he was being slapped in the face. Like all the time you spent together was just nothing.
"You're just going to throw us away then? For some guy at work... What was his name? Shepard? What the hell kind of name is that!?"
"I'm not throwing it away for some guy, I'm walking away for my own sake." Your brows furrow as you glare at him again, not wanting to be hostile, but at this point it only feels like you can get the point across this way.
"I thought you of all people would understand what it's like wanting to move on from something that hurts you constantly. But I guess I was wrong."
You feel the burning behind your eyes, trying to ignore it. You sniff, blinking repeatedly to keep the tears at bay.
"All I want is not be in a situation where I know someone can't or refuses to love me like I want to be. Not anymore. I don't think that's too much to ask for."
Leon feels like he's shrinking seeing your eyes glaze with tears. He didn't even realize he was causing this much pain. Even if he hadn't intended to, he strung you along with the hopes of something he wasn't even considering. Not until now at least.
"Listen..." Taking in a deep breath, he frowns, looking into your teary eyes, "I'm sorry. I didn't know I was hurting you. I wasn't trying to hurt you."
"Trying and doing are two different things. That's why I want to call it quits now... Before I end up resenting you or... Or we feel bitter towards each other. We still have to work together, and I'd rather not think about how much I hate you every time I have to look at you."
You sniffle again, a few tears escaping before you can wipe them away and step towards him.
"It's just best if we just go back to being only colleagues."
"So that's it? We're just..." He stops himself again. It's not worth arguing, you've clearly made up your mind, and he should just be the bigger man and respect that. His head hits the door as he looks up at the ceiling, feeling a pain wash over his chest. He's not ready to let you go, and it's clear to him that even he got attached.
"Fuck... Okay." Rubbing his eyes, he steps away from the door, not blocking you from leaving anymore. "You're right. I'm sorry."
Reaching the door knob, you clutch it tightly as he jerks towards you. Not stepping in front of you but making sure he's visible.
"Wait. Can... Can we have one last kiss? For old times sake."
Every part of you is screaming no, but you tighten your shoulders with a nod.
"Yeah... I can do that." Moving in, you slot your hands onto his biceps, leaning in. Your lips land on his, applying a light pressure. Nothing remotely close to some of the more passionate kisses you've shared over your time together.
For Leon, it takes everything in him to not give in and kiss you exactly like he wants to. To wrap his arms around you and suffocate you completely with him. Make his last mark on you before you go your separate way. Show you how much he loves... the company you give him.
But this is for the best, to just go back to normal like nothing ever happened. His hands meet the small of your back as he takes in one last long look at you. Not wanting to let go until you step back.
As you pull back, you look up at him as his eyes meet yours. Almost like they're silently pleading for you to stay. Giving a quick rub to his biceps, you step past him, a small smile meeting your lips.
Saying goodbye just feels wrong to you, so you settle for a see you later.
"I'll see you at work on Monday..." Opening the front door, you give him a quick nod, closing the door behind you as you leave his apartment one last time.
He stares at the front door, hoping you'll come back any second now and just tell him it was some kind of fucked up joke you're pulling. You never do.
Walking back over, he slumps over on the couch, holding his head in his hands. Trying to think of where exactly he went wrong with this entire thing. Glancing up at the coffee table, he spotted his whiskey, swiftly picking it up and downing the almost full glass with a dissatisfied grunt. All before he gets up and makes his way towards his liquor cabinet once again.
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You're not paying attention when one of your coworkers is droning on about whatever to Shepard next to you.
Connie? Chloe? Cassie? Whatever her name was, it wasn't important right now. What was important was the glances being thrown at the end of the sturdy brewery table.
"Are you okay, hun?" Your trance was snapped, eyes shooting back to your husband as his smile filled with concern.
"Yeah." Your voice is half-hearted and still slightly dazed. "Just thinking too much."
Thinking too much about the blue eyes burning into you from a few seats down.
You didn't blame him, it's been 4 years since you two had any real conversation outside of work. Being married for 2 years, you've tried to respect your husband and steer clear of Leon at any point. Shepard didn't know your past, and you wanted to keep it that way.
But now that you're all in the same place due to a work retreat. You don't know how long that's going to stay hidden. Who knows what could happen?
You quickly smile, as you've trained yourself to do, as you look at Shepard. He smiles back before sipping his rum and coke. Looking back at the brunette across the table talking.
"What were you saying, Cassidy?" Shepard asks. The woman nodded, sipped her wine and set it back on the table.
"I asked, are you happy she's changing departments? I bet it's unnerving having your wife risk her life every time she leaves and not knowing if you'll see her again."
"He is, he always hated how much I was away or just scared something would happen, y'know?"
"I'm always worried about my special girl. I love her." Shepard squeezes your thigh with a smile. Rubbing his thumb across your bare skin.
You feel nothing when he touches you. You never have and probably never will. He always talks about this spark between the two of you, but you feel no spark at all. Not even a little buzz.
You just smile back at him and continue to sip your wine, glancing down the table at Leon, talking with one of your other colleagues. You feel uneasy but still somehow calm. Even after being apart for so long, he always seems to draw your attention.
Leon's having a conversation with another coworker. Or at the very least tries to have a conversation...
He's watching you out of the corner of his eye, observing with a Stoic expression as it usually is these days. But to the trained eye, he's completely obvious. He honestly can't help himself from looking at you.
Just as beautiful as the day you left...
His mind wanders as his side glance lingers too long, he's still so in love even after all this time. He thought it faded from your separation, but if anything, it's gotten worse with such little contact outside important assignments or the occasional workplace banter.
It's slowly driving him nuts that sometimes he wonders if this isn't just an obsession but physically seeing you brings him right back to earth. The thumping in his chest became harder to ignore.
God, he wishes he was Shepard. To spare him the looks you gave your husband. The thought of being able to touch your thigh again without care nearly gives him a hard on.
But he catches himself. Teetering on the edge of his mind, wandering too far. He swallows it, forcing it down. Knotting the pit of his stomach to not let it show. He takes a long sip of the whiskey sour in his hand and tries turning back to the conversation.
You try your hardest to put on a fake smile as you listen to Cassidy and Shepard rattle on. Sipping your wine, you feel that familiar rubbing.
Glancing down, you see Shepard's hand gripping your thigh with a firmness you've felt before. His large hand dawned with the wedding ring matching yours staring back at you as his thumb glided across your bare skin.
For any other woman, this would be an instant turn on. But for you, that's all it is, just a hand. Nothing special or thrilling. But you look at your husband as he gives you that sultry look he thinks is flirtatious, but it just makes your skin crawl.
And not in a fun way. This is getting to be too much.
"I think I'm going to go for a smoke." You cut off the chatty Cassidy. Shepard's head turned to you with a smirk.
"You want me to come with you?" Shepard sits forward, ready to stand when you put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.
"No, no. I need to make a phone call anyway. Could you watch my drink though?"
He nods as you take your phone off the table and step back from your seat. Shepard clears his throat as you lean over giving him a kiss, almost as if you've been trained to do so.
Finally, you walk out of the brewery, past tables filled with chatting people and around the side of the building to the secluded smoking balcony. Surprisingly empty as you show up. Grabbing one of the two chairs, you have a seat in front of the railing.
You lean back against the seat, looking up at the dark night sky full of stars, mind wandering to the man inside.
Not your husband...
"Fuck..." You mumble, pulling the pack of Marlboro's out of your jacket and slipping one of the sticks between your lips.
You retrieve your lighter, flicking the button repeatedly. Only a tiny spark igniting with a soft click. You groan in irritation, trying again.
"This seat taken?" You nearly lurch out of your seat, quickly turning to see Leon standing next to the empty chair, drink in hand.
"Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me..." Putting your hand on your heart you feel it pound from fear, glancing up at Leon you almost swear you could feel it skip for a split second.
"Is that a yes?" He asks, his lips curling into a smirk as he looks down at you.
"Yeah, sit. I don't care." You flick your lighter repeatedly, finally getting it to light as he sits. You make brief eye contact, slipping your lighter back in your pocket.
"Following me isn't really a great look for you, Kennedy." Leon scoffs, brows knitting as he takes in your figure far longer than appropriate.
“Can’t a guy just enjoy sitting next to a beautiful woman for a while?” It's your turn to grin, taking in his old cheesy way of talking. Your eyes start to linger now, taking in his appearance.
You can see the once lively eyes he had now grown into tired and strained. Hair darkens with age to match the beginnings of crows' feet. But he still looked handsome as ever. He always will.
"It's a free country, I can't tell you no." You continue with the banter, turning your attention back to the cigarette as you take in a drag. Glancing at him, you exhale, thinking of a way to break the building tension.
"So..." You knock some ash off your cigarette into the tray between the chairs and look at him again. "How've you been? I heard you're taking my spot as team lead. Congrats."
"Thanks, I'm doing okay." His hands move as he tries looking anywhere but you. Licking his lips, he finally looks at you again.
“What about you? You're happy about the change? Being off the field completely and all.”
"If you like sitting behind a desk all day slowly rotting from the inside out, sure... You know I'm a woman of action." You wince at your own bitterness and sigh.
"I took the new job for Shepard. He's been on my ass about taking care of myself since we..." You stop yourself, looking down at the wedding band, just another reminder of what once was between you and Leon.
"I just wanted to make him happy." You slip the cigarette between your lips again, looking down at the phone as it goes off in your lap.
Leon bites his tongue before saying the first thing to come to mind and nods instead.
Yeah, if she took that job for Shepard, she probably wouldn’t be pleased with it.
He can probably guess how much you do for him by that reaction alone.
“So... you do love him, then?”
You're mid-drag when the coughing starts, caught off guard by the sudden question. Your head snaps to Leon, coughing into your closed fist.
"Excuse me?" Leon shrugs, looking unbothered by your reaction.
"You took the job for his sake. So you must love him... Or at least want to keep the peace between the two of you. But you've always been a pretty good actor."
"He's my husband, isn't he?"
You almost sound defensive, not really giving him a yes or no response. You know the answer. Leon took note of the lack of one.
"Why are you asking?"
"Just curious." He takes a sip of his whiskey sour, shaking the glass, loose ice clanking against the misty sides as he stares down at it.
“I just thought, maybe... you were looking at me earlier. During dinner, during cocktails. I know I was staring at you. And the way you looked at Shepard. It seemed like you were almost... bored with him?”
You both loved and hated how perceptive Leon can be sometimes.
"Wow, I had no idea you were suddenly an expert at what I wanted. Little late for that, don't you think?" Your tone was sarcastic, but you knew what he was saying was true to an extent.
Even if you don't want to admit it.
He takes in your response, sipping his drink again as he nods. He has your down pat and the smirk forming on his face says he's completely aware of it.
“So am I right?” He asks, not really expecting much of an answer.
"Leon, you can't..." You look away, scrunching your nose, frowning at his question.
“Accuse you of settling? You just sort of settled on Shepard? Because he’s safe? Because he’s a good guy?” Leon continues, setting his drink down next to the ashtray. He leans forward, trying to get a glimpse of your face.
"It's not fair of you to ask that. Not from you of all people." But it's true, you settled for Shepard. Knowing he loved you and was looking out for your best interest.
"He loves me and I..." You stare at the street below, unable to finish what you started saying. The ring on your finger starts to feel heavier as it weighs on your hand and conscience.
The obvious truth was that you didn't love him, you tried. Really, really tried to but never got the same kind of attachment to him like you did with him.
With Leon...
"Sweetheart."
God no, his voice is so charming still...
"You don't love him, do you? You've... Never loved him." Finally, you look at him again, wanting to curse him out desperately.
But he's so smug, the look on his face says he already knows how to make you admit it. And you both know he'll drag the truth out of you one way or another.
"I hate that you can read me so well still." You finally answer, unable to keep up the lie. Taking in a deep breath, you extinguish the cigarette, leaving it in the ashtray. You look back at the street below, feeling Leon's eyes on you still.
"We both know how well I know you sweetheart." His voice is barely above a whisper. He leans in watching your eyes flicker at him. That natural shine he's used to seeing back again, to greet him like an old friend from years past.
It's enough of a greeting that you both know how this could end, easily.
You know that look all too well, feeling your heart thumping in your chest, harder than it has in years now. You know exactly what he's thinking about.
"N-No Leon." Your voice can't even carry a stern tone as he makes you weak in the knees with a single look. Your stomach does a flip as he just stares, look unwavering.
"I'm married!"
"You think I'm not aware of that?" He leans even closer, his hand sliding onto your thigh.
You say nothing, watching him put his hand on you, squeeze you like Shepard does.
Like when you feel nothing...
You know it's wrong, you should stop him from touching you. But the familiarity is so comforting as his thumb glides over your silky skin.
God, it feels so different with Leon... So good... So wrong, but so right at the same time.
The feeling of fireworks fills your chest and butterflies materialize in your stomach. That same feeling from years ago is rearing its ugly little head to claw its way back around your heart again. You just stare at each other, not saying a word.
“You’re married,” he speaks again, just repeating what you said. “But you’re still in love with me, aren't you?"
You swallow again, the gulp making an audible noise. Almost like you just sucked down a golf ball.
"I want to hear you say it." His voice sounds like he's on the verge of begging for it. You grab his shoulder and push him back to arms length.
"Leon, no... It's wrong. Happy or not."
"But, I want you." The words slipped out of him so easily, making you ache.
Ache in a lot of ways, in a lot of places you definitely shouldn't for someone who isn't your husband.
"Please... Just one kiss to see if the sparks are still there." He's quite literally begging now, grabbing your hand.
"Honey?" You shoot up from your chair the second you hear his voice, yanking your hand away. You quickly step past Leon as Shepard appears around the corner.
"Honey, hi!" You sound unnaturally excited to see him.
"Hey Shepard." Leon stood from his chair and sounded cold. Honestly, not caring to cover his bitterness about the situation.
"Oh, hey Leon." Shepard greets him, noticeably a bit intoxicated by how he's standing. "I didn't know you smoked."
"He doesn't!" You blurt out, gaining your husband's attention again. "He was just asking me for advice about being the new team lead. Just helping a co-worker out."
"Aww, that's so sweet of you, baby." Shepard smiles sheepishly at his wife, not even realizing you're lying through your teeth. "Speaking of baby... Could you help me get Cassidy to stop talking about her kids? Pretty please?"
You sigh with a fake chuckle. "Yeah just... Give me a minute."
Shepard nods, giving you a kiss on the cheek and walks back into the brewery.
"So, you're okay with that?" Leon crosses his arms, gesturing between you and the door.
You glare at him, not bothering to hide your annoyance.
"You're insufferable..." You rub your eyes thinking before you speak.
"Look, I don't... Love him... But I don't want to hurt him either. He's still a good guy..."
“A good guy, huh?” He whispers, stepping forward, taking your hands in his.
“But not enough to make you feel anything when he’s around. That's strictly reserved for me, yeah?” You feel your skin warm up as you pull your hands away.
"Jesus Christ..." His cocky attitude makes you groan in irritation.
"I could honestly choke you right now... I swear."
"You know, I know what buttons to push to get you all riled up. Just to come right back into my arms."
You roll your eyes looking back into the brewery, seeing Shepard start to wobble in his chair slightly. You know that he's at his drink limit now.
"Leon... Just... We'll talk later." You start walking away towards the door to inside the brewery when he grabs your wrist. Not painfully tight, just enough to get you to stop walking.
"Or we can talk now." You sigh, thinking of a solution, as Leon let go of your wrist.
"What hotel room number did they stick you in for the work retreat?"
"Why?" He grins, leaning in again. "You're going to drop by for a special visit later?"
"To talk." You emphasize, getting more irritated as you lean in closer "And only talk..."
"Fuck, you're so hot when you're mad." You groan watching him bite his lip as he looks you up and down.
"Room number Leon. Now."
"Can't ever let me have my fun, can you? Room 407." Your eyebrows furrow, of course he'd only be two doors down from you.
"I'll be over at midnight."
"I'll be waiting with bated breath." You shoot him a glare, making him chuckle as you walk back into the brewery.
Collecting your husband, with a lot of effort and his cooperation, you make it back to the hotel in a good amount of time. Unlocking the door, you help him over to the bed, laying him on his side.
Getting him plenty of water and making him take Tylenol before he inevitably passes out to avoid the hangover you know he'd definitely be having if it weren't for you.
Soon it's midnight, and you make your way two doors down. Knocking on room 407.
You hear heavy quick footsteps coming towards the door. Leon opens the door, his hair messy and his shirt's top three notches unbuttoned. This was starting to feel really reminiscent of your old hook-up days.
“Come on in, sweetheart. I was starting to think midnight would never come.”
You push your way into his room, shutting the door behind yourself, so none of your coworkers see them together. You glare at him, crossing your arms over your chest.
"You got a lot of nerve pulling the shit you did earlier."
"Oh I'm aware," Leon locks the door, stepping up to you slowly. His eyes trailing your figure again, "you'd be lying though if you said you didn't like it."
"So you think betraying his trust is better than cheating on him?"
"Y'know, I hate how you keep avoiding what I've been asking you today." His hand comes up, caressing your cheek, you grab his wrist to move his hand, but your eyes meet with his. His thumb runs along your jawline, leaning in closer, his voice becomes warm against your ears, a sultry tone tickling you in all the right ways.
"He doesn't get you like I do. Make your knees weak with a simple touch or feel how easily your pussy throbs if you're called the right name in bed... He doesn't know that side of you."
He smirks, feeling your skin become warm underneath his fingertips.
"I fucking hate you." Leon snickers, bringing himself closer to you.
"No you don't. You love me." His eyes flick from yours to your lips. Lingering for a split second before you speak.
"Do you have it in you to love me like I want?"
"Of course I do." He's known since you left how he felt.
"Prove it. Tell me how you feel then."
“I love you." He speaks without hesitation, running his thumb across your bottom lip.
"I’ve always felt this way. I get that feeling in my stomach when I look at you, that feeling whenever I touch your skin, I’ve needed you for years now. I’ve known it almost as long as you’ve known you don’t love Shepard... I miss you." Your breath hitches, hearing what you've wanted to for so long. Leon drew closer, lips centimeters from each other.
"Do you miss me?" With that question your little shred of resolve disappears.
"I miss everything... How you make me feel. Your touch... How you always know exactly what I'm thinking even when I can't put the words together..." You frown, looking at him before leaning on him. Wrapping yourself around his entire being.
Your noses touch, lips slightly parted as you look deeply into each others eyes. The beautiful blue in his eyes surrounding your reflection, encasing you completely.
"Tell me how much you want me." Your body quivers, hearing his borderline demanding tone.
"He loves me, but he's never made me feel like a woman. Not like you did before... And I want you so badly, I can feel it in my bones."
Your lips glide over each other's. Not able to hold back much longer.
"How badly do you want me?" You ask, watching him pull back from your lips. Smug smirk staring at you, almost like he's watching his next meal.
He reaches out, brushing the back of his hand across your cheek, feeling the warmth of your skin radiate into his. His hand moves down to your chin, tilting your head up towards him.
"I could show you instead, if you'll allow me." He stares into your eyes, waiting for a response, any sign that you'll let him in again.
You give in with a short, simple nod.
His lips are on you, fiercely pressing his tongue against your lips, possessively pushing his way in. His hand goes to the back of your neck, hitting the hotel room door with a loud rattle.
Your hands fly to paw at his open chest, his hands prodding at your thighs under your dress, pulling your legs around his waist. Hands gliding up to your ass, squeezing it while you're carried to the bed.
He breaks the kiss, pushing your body to the bed. Leon pulls off his dress shirt, popping buttons as he rushes, tossing it to the side as he climbs on top of you. Soon, his hands are back on you, gliding up your thighs, pushing your dress up past your hips to pool at your waist.
"Well, I'll be damned. My favorite pair." Leon breathes out, sounding like a laugh as she looks at his favorite pair of blue lace panties covering your lower half. His lip curls up as he kisses above the edge of the fabric. Making your hips jolt for a second, acutely aware of how wet you actually are.
His hands travel up, pushing your dress up and over your head. Sitting up on his knees, he takes you in. Biting his bottom lip as his eyes wandered, wondering where to start first.
"I missed this body so badly." Leon traces his lips across your skin, starting to kiss under your ear and down your neck. His hands gliding under you to unclasp your bra, freeing your chest.
"Do you know what I want to do to you right now?" He growls into your ear, making you whimper in response.
You try to think straight at the moment, but all you can focus on is his strong hands roaming down your side, slowly towards the wetness pooling between your legs.
"To fuck me like you'll never see me again." He smirks against your ear, feeling your warm breath against his cheek. He chuckles darkly, knowing exactly what he wants, what you both want as his hands pull your panties off, dropping them on the floor with your dress.
"Good girl. You've always been so smart, angel." You watched him sit up and undo his belt, pulling it through the loops of his pants. Quickly making work of his pants and boxers, he stands over you naked. His thick cock standing at attention against his lower stomach.
Your legs come together as he pulls you towards the edge of the bed, grip tight around your thighs as he sinks to his knees. He spreads your legs, eyes landing on your wet slit, he playfully leans over, kissing your knee as he puts your legs over her shoulders.
His lips roam, kissing down your inner thigh. Reaching up, his finger spread your folds open. Watching the wetness from your arousal glisten against your skin, Leon let out a throaty groan in satisfaction.
"Fuck, you're so perfect like this. Ready as ever for me aren't you, sweetheart?" His lips turn to a smirk as he leans down, licking a slow gentle strip up your folds. Forgetting how much he enjoyed the sweet taste of you.
A soft moan erupts from your lips, arching off the bed to grind into his mouth, Leon placing a calloused hand on your abdomen to keep you in place. His other hand digging his short nails into your plush thigh.
With a final lick to your fold, Lean spits your juices back in you entrance, burying himself in your pussy, nose on her clit and deep in your tight hole with his tongue working your g-spot expertly.
As if he never forgot where it was in the first place.
The ridiculous amount of squelching alone would be embarrassing, but it felt too good to care. You hadn't felt like this in years.
Leon feels your walls convulse around his tongue as his eyes flick up to watch you quake in pleasure. A moan leaving your lips as your fingers bury themselves into the silky hotel bedsheets. Shaky breathing breaking as you feel his mouth pull off you. Your eyes shoot down watching him lick his lips clean of your juices.
"Fuck I missed making you feel this good." Leon lines up 2 of his fingers with your core, gliding them inside you. Feeling your walls clench around his thick digits. Eliciting a moan from him as he curled into the spongy spot.
"Could have you gushing on my fingers like this forever." Leaning down nibbling at the sensitive flesh of your thighs. Leaving behind subtle teeth marks. Not caring in the slightest if your husband saw it or not.
You're finally his again, and he'd be damned if he wasn't marking his territory this time. Staring at them for a moment makes his cock twitch.
Leaving one final bite, he focuses back on your pussy, his tongue slips from between his lips, gliding across your clit. Lips move to latch on and suck gently. Your legs quiver, shaky breathing signaling you're getting close to release. His fingers move in perfect tandem with your body.
"C'mon beautiful, cum for me." Your eyes roll back, glazing over as you bite down on your lower lip muffling a cry of pleasure. Climaxing on Leon's fingers and hand as he works you through your orgasm. Feeling your body relax, tension leaving as relief washes over you after what feels like forever.
Panting softly, you lift yourself onto your elbows to watch Leon lick his slick fingers clean, savoring the taste before diving back into your dripping entrance to clean things up properly as you watch him with a close eye.
"I've been thinking about this moment for years. Been dreaming about being buried deep inside this tight little pussy again." Pulling away and licking his lips, he kisses your thigh once more.
"Has he ever made you cum like that? Or has he been depriving my angel?" Your head spins at the question, swallowing hard as you try thinking of an answer as he caresses your face.
"No, never as good as you..." He moves, pulling you up onto the bed, putting you up against the pillows, crawling on top of you. Moving to kiss your collarbone up to your ear. His full weight pressed down on you, cock pressed against your inner thigh.
"Can I fuck you? Need to be buried inside you, feel you around me again." His voice sounds borderline desperate as he asks, your eyes turning away.
"You should let me show you how good it could be to be claimed as mine again," his hot breath trickles against your ear. He moves his hand down to grip onto your chin firmly, making you meet his hot gaze again.
Desperation not only poured from his words, but his expression too.
"Tell me you'll let me have you again, so I can make you mine... Fully. Just like we both know we want." You know you want to, you feel nothing for Shepard.
Nothing comparable to what you feel with Leon.
Your lips part as you give him an answer.
"I'm yours, only yours, Leon. Every part of me." His eyes lit up, leaning in and pulling you into a passionate kiss. Happy to finally have you again in every way.
"Do you remember how good I used to make you feel?" He moves forward, positioning himself at your entrance, ready to claim you completely.
"You're mine and mine alone." Sliding into you, you feel that familiar fullness of his cock inside you. Digging your nails into his shoulders as he huffs into your neck, your legs wrap around his waist out of instinct.
"Fuck, I forgot how good you feel." He mumbles against your neck, leaving a trail of kisses down your throat to the top of your breasts. A deep groan leaves his chest as he rolls his hips into your tightness.
You feel your walls contract around him, almost like your molding to perfectly fit him and only him.
"Oh fuck, Leon." You breathed out, hand running up to the base of his neck, pulling at his hair.
"Feels too much like home," Leon's voice is thick with pleasure as he continues to drive into your wet pussy, feeling every bit of your heat surround him, "he definitely hasn't been fucking you right... Of course not. He's not me. Doesn't know shit about your body like I do, does he?"
He grunts into your neck, body trembling at the effort it takes not to cum immediately from how good you feel against him.
Reaching down, he grabs your ass, pulling you tighter to him, starting to pound into you. Moving his hand, he lifts your leg, hitting that angle that turns you into a hopeless puddle beneath him.
You let out a string of broken moans, louder than intended, but you're at the point of no return. Feeling the intense knot in your stomach building quickly. You can see his face getting red as he pulls back from your neck to look in your eyes.
"Close, so close." He watches your face contort in ecstasy, smirking.
"Mine to take care of, mine to pleasure, mine to claim... " He reaches in-between your bodies and starts to circle your clit, his voice becoming more unsteady as he gets closer to his climax.
He feels that quiver around his cock, your nails digging into his back and pulling at his roots as you finish around him.
"Fuck, fuck. I'm-" His voice breaks, burying himself deep inside you, he fills you, a pathetic moan slipping from his lips as he collapses on top of you.
You're both panting heavily, his head on your chest listening to your heart thump against your ribcage. He smiles, still trying to catch his breath, kissing over your chest. Your hand weeds through his hair, pushing his bangs back from his face.
"I didn't even know you could make a sound like that." He grumbles against your skin, biting your chest lightly. You giggle as he rolls over off you, bringing you to his chest.
"Shut up." But he smiles down at you, watching how easily you curl into his side. Bringing your hand up, you caress his cheek, brushing over the bone with your thumb. He takes it, brushing his thumb over your knuckles. Taking note of your wedding ring.
"Are you okay?" He questions, voice sounding a bit worried. "I wasn't too much?"
"No. You were perfect. Are you okay?" He just nods in response, rubbing his hand across your lower back slowly.
"Why don't you take a nap before heading back? You look tuckered out." His smirk returns, you simply nod, cuddling up to him. Nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck and putting your arm around him as he holds you close.
He knows he's going to struggle to let you go again.
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"I don't see it out here either." You say, look around the hallway. Shepard raises his head from dragging your luggage out of the door. He slides the card into the door, locking it before turning back to you.
"Baby, it's fine. We'll get you a new one." His irritation is obvious as he walks past you towards the elevator when one of the doors in the hallway opens. Out stepped Leon from his room, bag over his shoulder as you lock eyes. He smiles before noticing Shepard, his face dropping to its usual Stoic expression.
"New what?" Leon questions, watching your husband turn his head.
"She lost her wedding ring." Shepard pushes the button, calling the elevator as you and Leon walk up behind him.
"You seemed pretty drunk last night. Maybe she lost it helping you back to your room?" Shepard looks at Leon, his face dropping and irritation evaporating in an instance.
"Was I that bad? Jesus, honey, I'm sorry." Shepard puts an arm around your waist. You look at Leon from the corner of your eyes.
Leon's shooting daggers at Shepard, who's none the wiser.
"Just check the lost and found before you leave." He suggests, looking back at the elevator doors as they open. You all step in, stuck in-between Leon and Shepard.
Leon fidgets next to you, he stares straight ahead. Trying to ignore your skirt tapping his leg, or your perfume taking over his senses from how close you are.
But in the end, he can't help himself.
His pinkie finger pops out, brushing against your fingers, fully expecting rejection in the form of your hand pulling away.
Thankfully, he's greeted with your pinkie, interlocking with his until the door rings again. You walk out ahead, Shepard, carrying your bags. You spare him one last glance and a smile before leaving around the corner to the hotel lobby. Leon smiled to himself, stepping out of the elevator.
Shoving his hand in his pocket as he walks, feeling the cool metal of your wedding ring brushing against his fingertips.
All the while knowing, he isn't losing you this time.
474 notes · View notes
almond-tofuuu · 6 months
Text
Please don't say goodbye...
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Zayne x reader
Warnings: heavy angst, mentions of death, very little comfort, not proof read
Summary: after receiving orders from the Hunters Association that you're being sent on a dangerous mission, one you might not return from, you have to break the news to your childhood friend and doctor, Zayne...
Word count: 2.8k (holy- Idk how that happened)
The beginning of this fic is written by anticyra as the intro for her Zayne chatbot on c.ai, full credits go to her!!!
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"Late for your checkup again, I see," Zayne said in his usual blunt manner, not even bothering to look up from his paperwork when you burst into his office.
If it were anybody else who decided to book an appointment right at the end of his shift, and then turn up half an hour late for it, Zayne wouldn't have bothered staying to wait. But since it was you... well, it wasn't like he had anything better to do that night anyway. Plus he was too distracted by all the other medical reports he had to review to really notice the time.
Setting his folder down, Zayne finally glanced at you, taking in your flushed and slightly disheveled appearance. It was clear you had been in a rush to get here and the thought made the ice of his gaze melt just a little.
Giving him a small, apologetic smile you make your way to the seat opposite him, a sigh of relief escaping your lips as you can finally relax for a moment.
"I'm really sorry, Zayne. I would've been here sooner but I was called into an urgent debriefing at the last minute.... I couldn't get away any faster" you explain quietly, just the thought of the meeting is enough to flood your mind with stress, though you try not to let it show.
Zayne sighs audibly at the mention of a 'debriefing' and decides to drop the matter of your tardiness immediately. Knowing you must've had important things to deal with, his annoyance dissipates. Folding his arms over his chest and leaning his weight back in his chair, his eyes noting the crease in your brow and the dark circles forming under your eyes. "And this was regarding a Wanderer attack, I'm guessing."
Heaving a tired sigh you nod your head in confirmation, running a hand through your slightly messy hair, "... there's been a sudden increase in attacks recently in the mountains. The Hunters Association is planning on sending a team to clear out the wanderers and investigate the source of their appearance..."
Zayne made a mental note of that. Wanderer attacks. Not exactly good news.
When the Hunter's Association made movements like this, that usually meant the situation had become dire or they'd received some alarming intel. Either way, a bit of extra caution wouldn't hurt right about now. Zayne shifted in his seat as he considered his next question.
"Are you going? To the mountains I mean," he asked, looking down at the file in front of him and flipping through your medical history.
Nodding your head in confirmation you let out a nervous exhale, the unusually serious expression on your face causing Zayne's apprehension to rise.
"....That's actually what I wanted to speak with you about..." Pausing for a moment, you consider the easiest way to break the news to him, deciding it's best to just get it over with, like ripping off a band-aid. "I'll be joining the team the Association is sending into the mountains.... There's no way to know how long the mission will take but....they say it will last at least 4 months..."
Zayne froze, although his expression remained calm and professional, his thoughts were anything but.
In the mountains...with wanderers...for up to FOUR MONTHS?!
Clearing his throat, he fought to keep his voice level, "so...I won't see you for four months then." It was all he could manage to get out, not trusting his voice to keep his true emotions concealed.
Swallowing nervously, you stare down at your lap, desperately wanting to avoid his piercing gaze, knowing he would see straight through the brave front you were putting up. "Well, four months is the minimum....it's likely I'll be there longer... And..." Your sentence trails off as you hesitate, reluctant to tell him the truth.
Zayne remains silent, waiting for your answer, but he could already guess the rest. You were going into the mountains, fighting wanderers. If you got injured or--he didn't even want to think about the possibilities.
Four months was already a ridiculous amount of time to spend on this kind of mission, but if something happened before that... he didn't want to entertain the idea.
"...And," he repeated, in a slightly harsher tone than he intended. His thoughts spiralling dangerously with every passing second.
Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath to steady yourself, gathering your courage before continuing in a soft voice, "...the situation in the mountains is pretty bad... The place has essentially become a warzone and we've already lost a lot of hunters.... There's a strong chance that... I won't make it back..."
Won't make it back...
Your words seemed to barely register for Zayne. Won't make it back. He felt like someone had reached inside his chest and squeezed his heart. It was as if time itself has slowed to a halt as this new reality finally sank in. Zayne froze. He was surprised to find his hands clenched into fists at his side and had to make a conscious effort to unclench them.
He stared straight at you with a blank expression as he forced himself to stay calm. He wouldn't-couldn't- let himself lose his composure. Not now, not in front of you. "I see.... Why are you telling me this?"
Finally you look up to meet his gaze, eyes softening as you take in all the small details of his face, wanting to commit them to memory. You struggle to keep your voice steady, not wanting to breakdown in front of Zayne. "I'm telling you because you're my friend. You're someone I care about and i-.... I felt I owed it to you to tell you this myself"
Your eyes held his for a moment longer than he was comfortable with and Zayne was sure you could see it as well. A tightness formed in his throat as he fought to keep his the thin string he was hanging on by from snapping.
"I see," he said, his voice flat. "You're going to the mountains to fight wanderers and there is a strong possibility that you'll not return." It hurt to even say the words. "Is there anything else?"
Your eyes widen at his matter-of-fact tone, not expecting his complete lack of concern. It hurt to see how stoic he was, to know that the news of your possible death didn't seem to affect him at all. You had so much more you wanted to tell him but his indifference made you second-guess whether to continue or just leave. After a short internal debate you decide to just tell him what you want to say, even if he didn't care at least you could leave here without any regrets.
"...I just wanted to say that I appreciate everything you've done for me.... And if this is the last time I get to see you, then I want you to know that the time I've spent with you has been the happiest time of my life...." Your voice trembles, breaking slightly as you try to hold back the tears threatening to fall.
Zayne felt his chest get tighter as your words sank in. A small amount of moisture built up in his eyes but he refused to let it fall, biting his lip as he looked down at the files on his desk, their words blurring as his vision became clouded with tears.
the... the happiest time of your life...
His brows furrowed together as a frown crossed his face.
...if nothing else... If something did happen... Was the time he spent with you... the happiest time for him as well?
Finally. His expression shifted as the dam broke and his control slipped.
"y/n..."
He stood up, taking a quick step and grabbing your hands before you could pull away. And then he pulled you towards him in a tight embrace, taking in your scent, feeling your heartbeat pounding against his chest.
"This is NOT the last time you will see me," he whispered, his voice filled with vulnerability and fear.
You freeze, caught off guard by his sudden embrace, mind racing at the raw emotion in his voice. You're quick to accept his comforting hold on you, melting into his touch and burying your face into his chest, your arms wrapping around him tightly, clinging to him like a lifeline. "...you can't guarantee that, Zayne.... Neither of us can..." Your words are whispered softly, carrying the weight of your sadness.
Zayne ran his hands down your spine, cupping the small of your back and pulling you closer to his chest. He didn't respond, just held you, trying to imprint this moment into his brain. This... This could be the last time he held you and he wanted to remember everything, from the feel of your skin to the scent of your combined body heat.
"I'm not trying to guarantee anything," he uttered, squeezing you tighter than he intended but he didn't care. The pain that he felt thinking about you dying... he couldn't put it into words.
"I'm saying that I won't lose you. I won't accept that!" Zayne leaned down and pressed his lips firmly against yours, the desire to keep his self-control intact long gone. If you were really going off to the mountain for months, he wanted to be able to feel you. He wanted you close so badly it hurt.
Leaning into his touch, you eagerly return the kiss with equal passion, hands tangling into his raven hair. A soft sigh escapes your lips, your heart fluttering as you lose yourself to the feeling of his lips on yours.
Zayne's hands wander down your body, gripping tight around your hips. His lips met yours again and again, every kiss taking him closer and closer to heaven. He could feel himself getting swept away in the moment and losing his inhibitions. The urge to hold you tight never left and only grew until he wanted to press you to the wall and refuse to let go. But he forced his emotions back under control, knowing that there were more important things to discuss.
He finally pulled away, letting it sink in that this could truly be the last time you would meet.
Your eyes flutter open, meeting the captivating green of his intense gaze. When you speak your voice is soft, barely above a whisper, but your tone is filled with a deep sadness. ".... Zayne.... I want you to know that whatever happens.... I love you"
His heart lurched at your words. He had always thought there was no way to make this situation any worse than it already was. But your confession made it so much harder.
He couldn't let his emotions get the best of him, not under these circumstances, but his voice remained soft when he finally spoke. "I have something I want you to know as well," he said, leaning down and pressing his forehead against yours. "Even if we don't get to meet again... know that I love you as well."
His confession causes your breath to hitch, heart fluttering as it swells with joy, knowing the feelings you've harboured for so long are reciprocated. You let out a soft sigh, breathing in his familiar, soothing scent, your hands gently stroke through his hair.
"....I wish I had told you how I felt sooner, we could've had more time together.... But at least now I know you feel the same way I do...." You try to keep your voice light, though the regret lacing your words is poignant, sending a wave of warmth through Zayne. Despite everything he could feel his own emotions starting to come back under control, some level of calm returning the longer this moment went on.
You were right, you could have had more time together... He had pushed you away so many times during your appointments and now he was being haunted by the possibility he had wasted too much time.
But at least now... he would know he had said the right thing in your last moments together.
"...We both feel the same way," he repeated, almost in disbelief.
A soft yet sad smile forms on your lips, the thoughts of what could have been weighing heavily in your mind, and the possibility of this being your last moment together causes your heart to ache. "....I swear that I'll do everything in my power to stay alive.... I don't want this to be the last time I see you.... But if I don't make it back, just know that I fought as hard as I could"
You promised to stay alive, but Zayne could hear the defeat in your tone, the fear and worry of the possibility of never seeing him again hanging in both of your minds like a dark cloud.
He squeezed your hands, not wanting to let go even though he knew he'd have to at some point. His eyes never left yours as he considered his response.
"I will do everything in my power to make sure this isn't the last time we see each other." He tightened his embrace, refusing to let go for even a second. "But if you don't come back..."
His voice broke for a moment as the pain threatened to overwhelm him. "Know that I will wait for you. Forever if I have to."
You swallow the lump in your throat, desperately trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall as the pain of having to leave him becomes almost suffocating. taking a deep shaky breath, you look into his eyes, seeing yourself reflected in the deep green.
"...I have to go.... The team are waiting for me..." Even though you whisper softly that you need to leave, your body makes no move to tear itself away from his warm embrace.
The reality of how little time you have left together hits Zayne like a freight train. His body freezes. He couldn't bear the thought of letting you go, as if his body would fall apart if he lost contact with yours even for a second.
"Please..." his voice was pleading now. He didn't care if he sounded weak, desperate even. "Just a few more moments, that's all I ask."
Sighing softly you hold him tighter, you couldn't bring yourself to deny his request, especially when he sounded so broken and desperate to keep you close to him. You could feel your heart cracking at the realisation that once you let him go, you'd have to leave him behind.
"Okay...just a little longer..."
And so he held you, content to simply stay like this, breathing in your scent, running his fingers through your hair, feeling the softness of you against him. Just another minute or two, anything to delay the inevitable and keep you here, safe in his arms.
Unfortunately the moment is cut short by the beeping of your phone, a cruel reminder that your time together is over. You sigh in frustration, glaring at the offensive object as it continued to ring, signalling that you had to leave. Silencing the call, you turn back to Zayne, a sad smile on your face as you both share a silent understanding that this is it.
"I don't like this," he murmured, his voice low as his eyes met yours in a moment of shared disappointment. You had both spent too long not telling each other the truth and now you were forced to suffer the consequences. Even just another minute together would have made it so much easier to bear.
"I don't either..." You agree quietly, your trembling voice showing just how truly devastated you are to have to go "...I guess this is goodbye...."
"For now." He whispered firmly, hesitant to allow even the possibility that you wouldn't come back, and his words were as much for his own sake as yours. The seconds seemed to stretch out and fly by all too quickly, and Zayne didn't want to be the one to let go first, afraid of what would happen the second you parted.
"Come back to me, okay?" His voice was tight and strained, hand reaching up to gently brush a loose strand of hair out of your eyes. "Come back to me and keep that promise you made."
Leaning into his touch, your eyes flutter closed briefly, a stray tear rolling down your cheek. "...I will... I'll come back to you and I'll never leave again... I promise, this won't be the last time we see each other." Your voice is full of determination despite the way it trembles.
And Zayne believes you, with every fiber of his being wanting to believe you, wanting to trust that you would make it back. That he wouldn't lose you so cruelly to something neither of you had any control over.
"I'll wait, even if I have to wait forever."
His words were soft yet full of a quiet ferocity. He would wait for you, even if the world burned down around him. He wanted you to know that he would do whatever it took to make your promise come true, no matter how long it took.
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335 notes · View notes
polarisjisung · 2 months
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LOVE ON THE COURT | 07 TAEHYUN FROM 3RD GRADE
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SYNOPSIS | every college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier
WARNINGS | swearing, sexual innuendos, kys/kms jokes, some more anti daegal agenda from haechan, jaemin is still a bitch but trust that will change shortly
NOTES | written cut ahead!! also just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's reading and interacting, I love reading all the comments 🫶🏼🫶🏼 +++ just a warning to be careful and stay safe for everyone in the uk with the ongoing violence :( please take care of yourselves!
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Jaemin sighs.
Luck hadn't been on his side today, not when he woke up 20 minutes after his alarm, with the worst bedhead of his life and his hungry kittens practically hissing at him to be fed, not when he was late to school and the first class of the day and certainly not now.
Now as campus feels suspiciously empty, almost too empty, considering practise had ended only 5 minutes ago, jaemin stares up at the sky, thunder clashing, grey clouds looming overhead.
It doesn't take much longer for the rain to come, not a light drizzle but a full blown storm, the wind making the rain splash in his face, his pink hair matted to his forehead. A frown lines his lips.
And as if luck hadn't fucked him over enough, the bus service was cancelled all week.
If it wasn't for your slow, cautious footsteps, jaemin would've found himself trudging through the rain for the next half an hour to get back home.
He sighs in relief, convincing himself he'll ask the student approaching for a ride home, and like most students, who he was pretty popular with, he'd get a positive answer.
Jaemin's relief is short lived when he realises, that student is in fact you making your way over.
The way the concern paints your features and you rush over in the rain, not too bothered about getting yourself wet but still offering an umbrella out to him, the way you feign selflessness, the way you seem so innocent, it all convinces jaemin that maybe walking back home in the rain isn't too bad. He's already turned around before you can say anything.
He doesn't know why he stops when he hears your voice call out for him
"Jaemin" he doesn't know even more why he turns around to face you, holding perhaps the most eye contact he has with you in years.
"Do you need a ride home?" you ask, smiling as you wait for him to take the umbrella from you. He only shoves it back into your hands
All jaemin can focus on is that one word, did he need a ride, need?
Jaemin had never and would never need anything from you. He'd like to make that clear, but it's a lot less validating when he knows you won't respond the way he'd like. His bitter remarks were always met with silence on your end.
"I don't need anything from you" he spits the words out anyways.
You nod, but you don't let up, and apparently neither does the rain, it's speed doubling by the second and the size of each falling droplet growing.
"Would you like a ride?" you try again, despite the fact that you could barely make out jaemin in front of you and all you can hope is that he'll say yes.
His facial expressions telling you otherwise.
"Fine" he says, walking past you and towards your car, you can't help but smile, even if you had gotten completely soaked in the process of convincing him.
For a moment, you're close enough to blowing your cover, forgetting to ask for directions, but jaemin seems a step ahead, taking the initiative to put his apartment address into your satnav. Now you couldn't pretend that being next to him was easy, even if you tried to, jaemins presence left you in a constant state of uneasiness, like you were hyper aware of every sound you made, every word you spoke, worried you were breathing too loud or something completely out of your control would tick him off. It wasn't that jaemin was a horrible guy, he wasn't— you knew that better than anyone else, you just never knew why he had decided to be so horrible to you.
You choose to sit in silence, phone connected to the aux but no music playing as you drove. For just a second, you remember how comforting the silence between you both had once been, how there was never an awkward moment or thoughts of self doubt in jaemin's presence. Now it felt heavy, unspoken words and underlying emotions lingering in the space between you.
"Don't think we're friends just because I accepted your ride" he says, his tone sour.
"I know we're not friends jaemin, just doesn't hurt to be cordial"
You're not sure if he even hears what you said, but if he had, jaemin chooses to ignore your words. You don't say anything of it either.
He turns to face you, concentrated on driving through the heavy rain with a heavy grip on the wheel. You seem stiff for some reason, though he can't figure out why.
This is the first time, jaemin realises, that he's let himself look at you completely.
Your hands grip the steering wheel, some fresh red scratches on them, he wonders where they came from but moves on from the thought quickly, supposing you were just as clumsy as you once were. It's the only similarity he can notice, everything else seems painfully different to the old you.
Your hair is tied back in a ponytail and seems longer than he'd last remembered, perhaps a couple shades darker too, your facial features seem more mature and your eyes seem more tired.
For some reason each change, large or small, still manages to suit you well.
"Good game out there" you say and jaemin notices the changes that came to your voice, you've developed some confidence but speak in a softer tone than before, the smile on your face seems permanent, a realisation that makes his eyes roll.
"Can't say the same for you"
You nod, this really hadn't been your best game and the lack of sleep last night really hadn't helped.
"I hope you're not going to continue the rest of the season with the weak shots and shitty playing" he clicks his tongue, "it's not exactly best player of the year material is it?"
Most days you'd let jaemin take these shots at you, the wordless ones, the bold ones, and the quite frankly unnecessary ones, but today something urges you to defend yourself just a little.
"We all have our moments jaemin" you sigh, and despite wanting to say more, you decide against it, besides you were almost home anyway.
"Too many of those moments and we're in the same situation we were last year, wouldn't want to let the team down more than you already do would you?"
You don't respond, the car coming to a stop outside the front entrance to your apartment complex. You're glad it does, tears pricking your eyes as a smug jaemin steps out of the car.
"Thanks"
When the door shuts behind jaemin you can't help but let the tears roll down your face.
You wonder why you even make an effort.
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girlgenius1111 · 10 months
Text
one step forward and three steps back
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warnings: blood, panic attack, self harm, relapse. seriously, if you are even slightly concerned that this could be triggering for you, don't read it.
Ingrid-fight.
The weeks following your breakdown were easier than you'd anticipated. You'd taken a couple weeks off, spending the time focusing on your mental health, at Alexia and Jona's insistence. The club told the media that you were taking time for your mental health, which mostly went over well. Some, however, thought the club was being too soft. They only saw you get a red card, and take weeks off from playing; it was a tantrum you were throwing, not taking time for yourself.
Your return game saw you in the starting lineup, along with Mapi and Alexia. Ingrid was still out, being careful with her leg. You were doing better, able to focus more on playing, as well as being significantly less reckless on the pitch. Your hand had healed, and it really should have been your game.
Unfortunately for you, though, was that the other team was desperate to win. Not that every team wasn't, but the dirty tackles coming in every other minute made it clear that they were on a mission. Still, you'd managed to stay out of trouble until it was almost the end of the game.
You were trying to beat a defender, one of the players that had been playing particularly roughly. Normally, you didn't mind this, never not up for a physical challenge. What you didn't appreciate, however, was the elbow thrown into your face, connecting directly with first your nose, and then your eye.
"Fucking hell," You cried out, hands flying to your face as the other girl took the ball. The whistle blew almost instantly, and she groaned. You were pissed. "What, did you think they added throwing elbows when you can't do your job into the rulebook?" You asked her, feeling blood beginning to stream steadily out of your nose.
Your teammates and the ref were still making their way over to you, and only some of them caught the girls response.
"Gonna need to take another few weeks off? Your nose probably needs a mental health break, huh?" She said condescendingly. Alexia and Mapi sped up at this, breaking into runs to get to you. Sure enough, no sooner had the words left her mouth, and you were taking your hands away from your nose, and giving her a harsh shove. She shoved back, and both of you had fists raised by the time you were separated.
Mapi wrapped an arm around your waist, dragging you back. "Easy there, the ref will take care of it," she told you, as you fought against her grasp. You were annoyed, Mapi was normally down for a fight. Instead, she was speaking in soothing tones, her calm eyes meeting your wild ones.
"She said-"
"I know what she said, but your face is bleeding, so sit down and let the physios check you, bueno?" Mapi was pissed, but she could hear Alexia talking to the ref behind her, and felt that as much as she wanted to slap that stupid girl across the face, she was more helpful here, making you take a seat as the physios arrived.
With a huff, you relented, sitting down. The pain in your face was becoming harder to ignore, and you didn't know if you believed the guy when he told you your nose wasn't broken, only badly bruised.
"Feels fucking broken," you said, attempting to add some bite to your words. Instead, they came out all choked, and you realized you were about to cry.
Mapi put a hand on your shoulder, not used to this response. You normally didn't cry when you got hurt, and she realized the comment from the other girl had affected you more than you'd probably admit. Mapi made eye contact with the physio and shook her head slightly, He signaled to the bench for a sub.
"You said it wasn't broken!" you protested.
"No, but you should ice it. No reason to take any unnecessary risks." He told you, and you knew that he and Mapi were just aware that you were upset, not thinking that you really needed to go off. You were going to argue, when Alexia stepped up, fixing you with her general look of "do what they say or I'll yell." You weren't in the mood for any yelling, so you relented, stomping off to the sidelines, without another word to your teammates. You noticed with some satisfaction that the other girl had gotten a red.
You stalked off the pitch, heading for the locker room, and Ingrid fell into step beside you.
"Leave me alone." You told her, wanting to cry in peace. You weren't sure why you were so upset with that girl's comment, but you were.
"No," she responded, meeting your glare with a smile. "Not letting you break another hand." She joked, and you mumbled an insult under your breath. She ignored it, following you into the locker room and watching as you threw yourself down in front of your locker.
Ingrid brought over a towel and some ice, insistently holding them out to you. After you took them, wiping the blood off your face, and pressing the ice to your nose, she sat next to you.
"You looked upset out there." She remarked.
"Yeah well. Elbow to the face." You responded.
"It looked like she said something to you," Ingrid pressed. You paused, before deciding to tell Ingrid what she said. her response would tell you whether you were being dramatic or not. After you'd spoken, Ingrid's eyes narrowed.
"What a little bitch," she seethed, and you huffed out a laugh, that quickly turned into a sob. Ingrid looked at you, startled, before wrapping an arm around your shoulders, rubbing her hand up and down your arm.
"I don't know why I'm crying, it wasn't that bad. It was just mean and my nose hurts and I hate that stupid girl," you blubbered, and Ingrid held back a laugh.
"It's alright, y/n, you're allowed to be upset. It was mean. And it was about something that's sensitive to you, it makes sense why you're upset." She told you rationally. Ingrid had a way of speaking that made whatever she said make sense, instantly believable. You wiped the remaining tears off your face, before quietly thanking her. She squeezed your shoulders, and you both lapsed into silence.
You were impressed with Ingrid, for being able to make you feel better so fast. Ingrid was impressed with you, for expressing your feelings without her having to drag them out of you. It was clear that you were improving, and it filled her with relief. But for every step forward, there's always a step back. Or two.
-----
Mapi- panic.
You weren't really sure what had happened. One second, you were out with the team, celebrating a win in a club. It was a rare occasion for your captains [mostly Alexia], to agree to a night out in the middle of the season, so everyone had taken full advantage. You were dancing with Pina and Patri, surrounded by other people, when you felt it; the beginnings of panic starting to rise within you.
Maybe it was the crowded room, the lack of oxygen, the alcohol, or just a random fit of anxiety. Regardless of the reason, you were quickly growing more panicked. Without a word to either girl you were with, you had spun around and were pushing your way out of the crowd, off the dance floor. You broke free of the crowd, not processing anything happening around you. You still felt like the room was out of air though, so you headed for the door, stumbling slightly as you pushed your way out.
You leaned against the wall, gasping for breath. The air outside was cooler, more plentiful, yet you still couldn't seem to get enough into your body. You slid to the ground, pressing your hands to your face as you tried desperately to regain control. You couldn't hear much except for a faint ringing sound, and you felt completely untethered from the world.
Until you felt a hand on your shoulder. You jerked your head up to find Mapi's concerned face looking down at you. You relaxed slightly, knowing it wasn't a random stranger, putting your head back in your hands.
You felt Mapi take a seat next to you, her hand moving slowly up and down your back. She took one of your hands away from your face, and pressed it to her chest. You felt the steady rise and fall of her breaths, and forced yourself to match them. Your breaths were still stuttering, but they began to slow. You weren't sucking in air as desperately anymore, and the ringing in your ears was giving way to Mapi's gravelly voice.
"In and out, just like that," she said as you began to process her words. "Good, just take it slow. You're safe, I've got you," she told you, her voice and touch working well to calm you.
"Sorry," you gasped out, although you weren't really sure why you were apologizing.
"That's alright, pequeña, you can't help it." She replied. Once you were almost completely calm, she wrapped her arm around your shoulders, pulling you into her. "What happened?" she asked, and you could hear the note of protection in her voice.
"Don't know. Too many people I think," you told her, resting your head against the wall behind you as you breathed in and out. "I'll be okay in a minute," you said.
"Take your time, I've got no where else to be," she said, resting her chin on your head.
It still struck you how much your friends cared for you. Even when you felt like they shouldn't, even when you knew it would be easier for them to give up on you, or let you handle it alone, they never did. And they never would, no matter what.
-----
Alexia - relapse.
You hadn't meant for it to happen- really. You'd been doing better. You were working with a therapist, and you'd started medication. It was clear that you desperately needed both of these things, and they were helping. You were naive to think that it would be only up from there though. Looking back, you'd realize the increase in dosage in your medication had just gone horribly wrong, the way that it could in rare cases. Having a clear reason didn't make what happened disappear though.
It had been a bad day. You'd woken up in an inexplicably bad mood. It had been a while since the familiar heavy cloud of gloom had settled over you, but as you headed to training, you felt it once again. The weight pushed down on you insistently, and as a result, you practiced worse. Your passes weren't connecting, shots weren't going in, and you kept tripping over your own feet.
This only made your mood worse, and by the time practice ended, you were incredibly frustrated with yourself. You avoided conversation, everyone discussing exciting plans for the night since you all had the day off tomorrow. You left the locker room quickly, missing the glances exchanged as you opened the door harder than necessary. You really should have expected to be stopped by your friends, but you were so in your head, you didn't hear them approaching. You jumped when Mapi placed a tattooed hand on your shoulder, halting you in your tracks.
When you turned to look at her, her face was pinched with concern, and you felt yourself grow more frustrated; you weren't supposed to be worrying your friends anymore, you were fine. Alexia stood behind her, watching you carefully. They both had yet to shower, still in their training kits, and you wondered if they were waiting so they could check on you.
"You alright pequeña?" Mapi asked. You nodded, sighing as both girls continued to look at you, clearly not believing you.
"Just a rough day." You told them.
"Do you want one of us to come home with you?" Alexia asked, keeping her voice low and soothing, expecting you to reject the idea. It was something they'd made you promise after that night. If you weren't feeling okay, you were supposed to tell them. You had yet to do this, with things improving, and you didn't want to start now. Admitting that you were having a bad day was one thing, but admitting that your thoughts were going dark was another. You were better, you were supposed to be better.
So, you convinced yourself that you'd be fine on your own, and you told Alexia as much. "No, I'm fine, I promise. I'm just gonna go home and relax." Your plans for the rest of the day consisted of laying in bed until you felt less like your every move was heavy.
The older girls gave you searching looks, but relented, reminding you that they were just a phone call away. They'd slowly begun to trust you again, since that night, trust you'd earned. They'd been able to see your improvements, and as a result, assumed that if you needed them, you'd tell them.
They were wrong.
------
In hindsight, maybe going home by yourself while in the midst of a depressive episode might not have been the best idea. Arriving home, you had tried to distract yourself, which was hard when you barely had the energy to sit upright. You settled yourself on your couch, not bothering to try to eat. You pulled your favorite blanket around your shoulders, settling in against the cushions, putting a random show on. You fell asleep watching TV, with the hopes that when you woke up, you'd feel better.
Instead, you woke up after the sun had set, feeling much worse. Your apartment was completely dark, although the curtains were wide open. You didn't bother with turning the lights on, staying in the same position on the couch as you began to spiral.
The deep sadness that had nestled it's way into the very core of your being this morning had given way some, to numbness. The numbness was normally where things went south. A combination of despair, but the inability to access those emotions choked you. You felt, so deeply, but you couldn't bring it to the surface. Instead, the shadows of these emotions danced just outside your grasp, leaving you desperate for something, anything, other than blank paralysis.
This was normally the point you turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Not often, and not for a while, but still, the once the thought popped into your head, you couldn't get rid of it. You knew it was the only thing that could bring you back into yourself, melt the freeze in your brain. The pain never failed at this; you knew it was bad, knew you shouldn't need to resort to this, but sitting there on your couch, you couldn't really think of any other option.
Robotically, you stood up from the couch, pausing as your phone fell to the ground off your lap. There were a few notifications you'd missed, and you stopped, opening them. All were from various teammates group chats. You ignored most of them, opening up the thread with Alexia, Mapi, and Ingrid. Your mind was clouded, focused on the task you had set your mind to, but still, a small part of it reminded you that you didn't have to do this. You had people that could help, would help, wanted to help.
You remembered, though, that they were out tonight. It was Ingrid and Mapi's anniversary, and the spaniard was taking Ingrid somewhere ridiculous and fancy. Alexia had some Barcelona related benefit. Realistically, you knew they'd all drop everything to come to you if you told them you needed them, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. One time wouldn't hurt. You could do it again, just this once. They'd never have to know.
-----
Pulling the blade away from your skin, you watched as blood trailed down your thigh. You didn't feel better, not like you normally did. The feelings had come rushing back to you after the first cut, but they didn't relinquish their grip on you as you continued. You felt desperate, filled with anguish, with no clear way to get rid of it.
Well, there was one way. As soon as you had that thought, you began to panic. You hadn't thought like this in a really long time, and it scared the hell out of you. It was like you were fighting between two parts of yourself, one that wanted you to be okay, and one that didn't care if you were okay, as long as you didn't feel like this anymore. The latter had won out, earlier. You were terrified that if you didn't do something, it would win again.
You forced yourself to breath, to think logically. You grabbed a towel from the shelf next to you. You leaned back against the wall, pressing it tightly against your leg. You just needed to do one thing at a time and everything would be okay. Reaching up to the bathroom counter, you grabbed your phone.
This was the hardest part. Harder than dragging the blade across your skin, harder than hiding your scars. Scars you'd reopened now. Your hand shook as you considered your options. Your mind had cleared slightly, self preservation instincts kicking in.
Ingrid and Mapi deserved a nice anniversary. Alexia hated social events. She'd probably tell you that you were doing her a favor if you called. Probably not when she heard why you called, but regardless.
Taking another breath, you clicked her contact, anxiety finding it's way into your gut.
"Hola, y/n." Alexia answered rather quickly, and you knew then that she hadn't really believed you earlier.
"Ale." You choked the word out, eyes suddenly full of tears. You didn't sound like yourself. Now that she was on the phone with you, the weight of what you'd done, and what you'd considered, was hitting you full force.
"Que paso?" Alexia asked, voice switching from casual to worried instantly. You could picture her expression, the one she got when she was giving someone instructions, or arguing with a ref, an intensity that made her the player that she was. It also made her the friend that she was. You tried to reply, but the words wouldn't come out of your mouth.
"Y/n, I need you to tell me what's happening, now" Alexia said almost frantically. The background of people talking had disappeared and you knew she was leaving, moving fast to get to you.
"I-... I need you," you responded finally, barely getting the words out. You were sucking in air faster now, tears falling freely.
"Okay, I'm coming to you now, nena. I'll be there in 10 minutes," Alexia told you. Her soft tone was one reserved for very few people; at that moment, you counted yourself very lucky that you were one of them. "Are you safe?" She asked, feeling like she already knew the answer.
You weren't really sure how to respond to that. The bleeding had stopped, so you weren't medically in danger. The blade was across the bathroom from you, and Alexia was on her way, so you doubted you'd be able to do any more damage. Your thoughts were still rather dire, but you were focusing on Alexia, on her voice, and the sound of her getting in her car and starting the engine.
"I'm not really sure," you settled on. The Catalan wasn't sure what to make of that response.
"Are you at home?"
"Si"
"Are you hurt?"
You paused, and she knew the answer. You heard the engine increasing in volume as she accelerated. "Pequeña, do you need an ambulance?" Alexia asked. The question made her nauseous but she forced herself to remain focused, to not get caught up in her feelings.
"No. Stopped bleeding." You replied, shutting your eyes tightly as she inhaled a sharp breath. You hated this, hated it so much.
"Okay, that's good, nena. Can you take a breath for me?" You did as she asked, realizing that you'd been holding in air. "Bien, muy bien. I'm almost there, okay? Stay on the phone with me."
"Okay," came your response, voice quiet. Neither of you spoke much after that, Alexia aware that you were struggling to reply, and relying on the sound of your breaths to assure her that you were alright.
She told you when she arrived, though, parking the car and jumping in the elevator. The call cut out while she was in there, which you'd been expecting. As you waited for her to enter the apartment, trusting that she'd use her spare key, you took in the sight in front of you. You didn't pull the towel away from your thigh, but you looked at the red staining the bath mat, the blade discarded where you'd thrown it. Pulling your attention from it, you focused on the door, hearing Alexia move hastily through your apartment.
She opened the door, and had to stifle a gasp. She'd tried to prepare herself, but nothing she could picture in her mind was like seeing it in person. You were sat against the wall, white blood stained towel pressed to your leg. You shorts were pulled up, revealing the scars on your other leg. You were wearing an old training shirt, and there was blood on that too. You were shaking slightly, eyes big and cheeks tearstained. What struck her most was how scared you looked.
"Oh, pequeña," she said, voice breaking. You dropped your gaze at her words, biting your lip to stop yourself from crying. She crouched down next to you, placing a hand on your cheek. She pressed her lips to your forehead, desperate to give you any comfort she could. "I'm here, I've got you. We'll take care of it, alright?" She said, words thick with emotion. You nodded shakily, and she stood back up, pulling the first aid kit out from under your sink. She took a seat back next to you, pausing.
"Can you take the towel off, nena?" Alexia asked. She didn't want to push you too hard, not sure how you'd respond. Wordlessly, you pulled it off your leg, wincing where it stuck to the skin. Alexia swallowed hard, the sight worse than she anticipated.
"Okay. I'm going to disinfect, and then I'm going to cover them." You nodded, still not having spoken. She pulled out a couple of alcohol wipes, opening 3 all at once. "This is gonna sting, tell me if you need a break, okay?" Again, you only nodded. Alexia worked fast, cleaning the wounds. You didn't ask for a break, but she noticed you flinch every so often, let out sharper exhales. She put anti-infection cream on before deciding against bandaids. Instead, she placed a piece of gauze on, wrapping it with medical adhesive tape.
You looked down, taking in the neatly wrapped area. It looked much better like this, much more manageable. Alexia stood to wash her hands. She dried them off, before turning back to you. You were staring at your red stained hands. She reached down, guiding you to stand, before pulling you to the sink, and helping you wash the blood off of them. You were docile under her grasp, blankly following her instructions. She led you out of the bathroom, quickly helping you change out of your blood stained clothes, and into clean ones. She pulled clothes out of your closet for herself, too, changing out of the suit she'd worn the the benefit. She wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, and she'd rather be comfortable.
You found yourself sitting on the couch, like you had been before. This time though, the lights were on, and the room felt warm, inviting, as opposed to cold and lonely. Alexia moved around, keeping an eye on you as she made you a mug of tea. She sat down next to you, typing quickly on her phone before turning to you.
You felt better. Not great, not really even good, but better. You got a better grasp on your emotions, and began to connect the dots in your head. This had been so out of the blue. Normally, you only reached this point after weeks of being down. It was clear to you, now, that increasing your dosage of your meds had been a mistake. You'd always heard warnings, about how in rare cases an antidepressant could increase depression, thoughts of... the things you'd done. And the things you'd thought about doing. The explanation made you feel a little calmer.
Alexia, on the other hand, did not know what had happened. She was trying to give you some time to process, but she was going crazy. You hadn't spoken to her since she'd arrived, and you were sitting next to her, clearly deep in thought.
"Y/n, can you please tell me what you're thinking?" She finally asked. You startled slightly, before nodding your head. You explained your theory, of why what had happened happened.
"I just need to go back down on my meds. Or try a different one." Alexia felt relieved, but not completely. She could see you trying to convince yourself that, because there was a clear explanation, it was fine. You were fine. That this wasn't a big deal. She also could tell that you were trying not to let yourself get upset about it.
"I'm glad you understand why this happened, we can go see the psychiatrist tomorrow," she said, carefully contemplating her next words. "That was still really scary, nena."
"I'm so sorry, Ale. I'm so sorry you had to see that, that I called, that I messed up again and scared you," you rambled, clearly thinking she was talking about being scared herself. She had been terrified, but that's not what she meant.
"No, I meant for you. Having those thoughts must have been really frightening, especially out of the blue like that." Alexia replied, and you looked away. "Please, please, do not ever apologize for this. For any of it. I don't care that you scared me, I'm just glad you called. So glad, and so so proud of you, pequeña." She implored, watching carefully as you shook your head unconsciously.
"I messed up, you shouldn't be proud of me," was all you said. You looked like you were about to cry again, and Alexia couldn't resist pulling you into her arms. You let her, resting your head on her chest, blinking rapidly to try to stave off the tears.
"Well, I am proud of you. You called me. You wouldn't have done that a few months ago." She paused, thoughtful. She was trying to think of something that would relieve your guilt, your disappointment in yourself. "Relapses are part of recovery, y/n. It sucks, but they are. Relapsing doesn't make you weak, or a bad person. I know you feel like you should be better, but it's okay if you're not. Because of your medicine, or because of anything else. There's no timeline here, no requirements of being okay that you have to meet. All you need to do is try your best. And you are, I can tell. You asked for help when you needed it, and that is something to celebrate."
You looked up at her, the hopeful expression on your face making her heart clench. "I haven't let you down?" You asked quietly.
"No, nena. You haven't let anyone down. I was scared, yes, but all I feel right now is love for you, and pride for you." She said, determined for you to believe her. You were starting to. Her tone, her face, were so full of conviction, it was hard to do anything but listen.
"Thank you for coming so fast."
"I'll always come when you need me, as fast as I can." Her reply was almost instant. Alexia watched as you smiled weakly at her, before it dropped from your face, and tears welled in your eyes yet again. "What is it, pequeña," she wondered, rubbing a hand up and down your back. You leaned your head back against her, speaking into the fabric of her sweatshirt.
"I have to start all over again," you choked out.
Alexia sighed. "I know, I'm sorry. But we're all gonna be here again, okay? All of us, for every second."
They'd proven they'd be there for you, time and time again. Their commitment to being good friends, to taking care of you, was what made you believe that you were worth it. They were some of the best people you knew, and if they were going to be there every step of the way, the journey must be worth it.
-----
I hope you guys enjoyed :). Obviously a super heavy part. I'm not really sure what else to say, other than I hope that if you read this, it can bring you comfort in some way. Asking for help is terrifying, but it's so worth it, I promise. You deserve to feel good, and be happy.
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munsonsmixtapes · 3 months
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Begging for more Eddie Diaz smut, maybe some sort of one bed scenario somehow readers a paramedic on the team or something? Honestly I just want more of your writing
Oh my gosh, thank you so much! I personally love the one bed trope so I can absolutely deliver!
Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz x paramedic!fem!reader
summary: you and Eddie share a hotel room during a storm which forces the two of you to get closer
cw: MDNI (18+) smut (p in v) reader receives a hickey
The hotel room was cold when you entered it, the air from the vent blowing harder than it should have been, sending a chill down your spine. You wrapped your cardigan around you tighter to bring some warmth to your body.
You hadn't gotten to pick your room since the department was paying for it. There was a weather advisory and everyone was instructed to stay inside until it cleared. Because there was a limited amount of money, you were forced to share with Eddie, the man you had been crushing on for months.
Well, maybe "forced" wasn't the right word to use. When asked who wanted to pair up with you, Eddie practically leaped across the lobby and yanked the key out of Bobby's hand while saying that he would be happy to.
Sure, Eddie had flirted with you quite a bit, but you didn't think that he was actually interested in you like that. Especially not enough to share a hotel room with you indefinitely.
Eddie had been crushing on you bad. The second he saw you when both of your teams were responding to calls, he couldn't take his eyes off of you. He admired how quickly and efficiently you worked for far too long before Buck nudged him. Eddie turned to him and Buck looked at you for a brief second before nodding approval. He then dragged Eddie along so the two of them could actually get to work.
Over the past few months, the attraction between the two of you was so strong that it was becoming obvious to everyone in your departments. So obvious that everyone was teasing the two of you, asking when you were finally going to get together. That you would have loved to know the answer to. If he was flirting with you that much, surely he had feelings for you, right?
But Eddie wasn’t going to do anything about his attraction, because in his eyes, there definitely seemed to be something going on with you and Buck. He would always see the two of you joking around and laughing when calls were being finished up and he was feeling nothing but jealous. Kicking himself for not doing something sooner.
Why he was sharing a hotel room with his best friend’s girlfriend or fling or whatever, he didn’t know. But Buck didn’t seem to feel the need to stop him. He even seemed to encourage it, giving both of you a thumbs up with a smile as you got into the elevator. So, if anything, Eddie was just confused.
The hotel room door slammed behind you, causing you to jump. You turned to see Eddie who looked apologetic. He was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and an LAFD hoodie. His hair was all a mess from running his fingers through it because of the stress, which somehow made him even more attractive.
"Sorry," he apologized. "Didn't mean to scare you."
"Oh, you didn't," you shook your head. Really, you were just taken aback by how attractive he was. It was so fucking unfair sometimes.
"You okay?" He asked, resting his hand on your shoulder.
"Yeah," you nodded. "I'm good." You were perfect, actually. You were sharing a hotel room with the man you had been crushing on for months and there was nothing that could have ruined it.
"Me too. Oh, I could have sworn the room had two beds. I'll go see if we can get another room." Before he could get far enough, you grabbed him by the wrist, stopping him from leaving.
"No," you said. "It's okay. I mean, you don't mind sharing, do you?" You asked, your tone coming off more flirty than you intended, but you hardly minded. You were really trying to get the point across that you were interested in him, but he didn't seem to get any of the hints that you were dropping. The feeling was mutual, but Eddie thought you were just flirting with him because you could. He seemed to be a little oblivious when it came to people being interested in him. He didn’t know why he couldn’t figure it out. There could be a flashing neon sign above your head spelling out the words “I’m in love with you, idiot!” and the man still wouldn’t get the hint.
"Not if you don't. I can just sleep on the floor." Now you were going to have to spell it out for him.
"Eddie," you took him by the hands. "I want to share the bed with you." Share? As in…share?
"Oh," he nodded. "Are you sure?" How much clearer could you have been?
"Positive. In fact,” your hands moved to his waist and you wrapped your arms around it. “I want you to hold me while we fall asleep." That, he could definitely do. Now he was actually looking forward to going to sleep, hoping that being wrapped up in your arms would make all of the scary images of his traumatic memories fade away into silence.
“I-I could do that,” he replied as you rested your head on his chest. His hands hesitantly rested on your back, mindlessly rubbing up and down it gently with the pads of his fingers. You moved away before he was ready, pulling back to look him in the eye. You reached up and ran your hand through his hair, watching him close his eyes as you scratched at his scalp.
He had to hold back a moan and if he was that close to cumming just by you playing with his hair, what would he have done if you had actually fucked him? God, he really needed to get his mind out of the gutter. You weren’t going to sleep together. Well, you were, but not like that. He really needed to keep his urges to himself. Especially since you were taken. How many times was he going to have to remind himself of that before it stuck?
He was going to keep everything between the two of you strictly professional. And so were you. Maybe if you didn’t look into his honey brown eyes or his pretty pink lips, you wouldn’t want to do something that probably wouldn’t end well. You just had a feeling that if you slept together, it would have been a one night thing that had happened on a whim to never be spoken about again. And you didn’t want to risk that.
What you had with Eddie was good and you weren’t going to let your wanting to sleep with him ruin that. If nothing was going to happen between the two of you, you would have preferred it if it meant that you could keep Eddie in your life as long as fate would have allowed.
But the attraction was building up as you stared at each other. Nothing in sight but each other’s lips, the want building up inside as you both inched closer. So slowly, as if you were contemplating actually going for it. Your faces slowly inched towards each other as you stepped closer, closing the gap between your bodies.
Eddie’s eyes widened as he realized what he was doing. He was about to break his one rule, but he couldn’t get himself to stop. Not when you smelled so good and not when you looked so fucking beautiful standing in front him.
He pulled away reluctantly and turned to face the door, running his hands along his face. You turned your head towards the tv, trying to give him some privacy. Had he thought the kiss was a mistake? Clearly since he had pulled away. And you were blaming no one but yourself.
You should have just kept your thoughts to yourself and now you had made him uncomfortable, in turn, making the whole time you were going to be spending together during the storm uncomfortable. He was never going to want to speak to you again and it was all your fault. You supposed now that you were just going to have to sit in your own guilt for the remainder of your time together.
“I-I’m sorry,” he apologized, finally turning around to face you. “I can’t do this.”
“Oh,” you nodded. Your voice sounded so small, so disappointed and now he just felt like a dick. “Right, yeah. We shouldn’t.”
“No,” he shook his head, stepping closer to you. “I want to, like, you have no fucking idea, but you’re with Buck…right?” You laughed in response, maybe a bit too loudly, but it was funny. You and Buck? Since when? Buck was like a brother to you.
“Eddie,” you said once you had sobered up. “Buck and I aren’t together,” you took him by his hands, giving them a squeeze. “Like, not even close. I thought it was obvious that I liked you.”
“Clearly not. I mean, this whole time, I was kicking myself because I didn’t get to you first.”
“Well, now you don’t have to worry about it because you can have me, Eddie. You can have me any way you want.” Now all he could think about was pure filth, imagining bending you over and pounding into you over and over again until you screamed his name. But for now, he’d start slow, wanting to take his time making you feel good. He wanted your first time together to be special.
You leaned closer to each other, moving at a glacial pace as the gap finally closed between your bodies. Your bottom lip was captured by his two and they moved together as you tried to get used to each other. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you pulled him closer and he grabbed onto your neck, pushed down on your chin to give him more access.
He licked into your mouth as he backed you up towards the bed, the back of your legs hitting it. He slowly removed your cardigan then got rid of his hoodie before pressing his lips to yours once again as he laid you down on the mattress.
Eddie slowly lowered himself on top of you as his lips moved down to your neck, peppering the spot with kisses before mixing in his tongue. And just when you were getting used to it, he pressed a few open mouthed kisses to your skin before giving it a rough such, causing you to let out a loud gasp.
He just chuckled against your skin before continuing, licking and sucking on your neck and it felt so good that before you could stop it, you let out a loud moan.
“That was hot,” Eddie said. “Wanna make it again?”
“Yes,” you replied, your breathing already labored. Eddie continued to suck on your neck and you let out another moan, louder this time. But that didn’t seem to be doing it for him anymore. He wanted you to be even louder so he grazed your skin with his teeth, and you let out a scream, reaching your first orgasm.
“Eddie, fuck.” He pulled away from your neck, smiling to himself at the mark that was already forming then looked down at you, seeing that you were already blissed out.
Eddie got down on the floor and pulled off your shoes and socks before undoing your pants and pulling them down to reveal your cunt that wasn’t covered by any underwear. He looked up at you and you just shrugged.
“Didn’t have any clean underwear. I would have worn a thong or something sexy if I had known.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it. This is-this is hot. Especially since we can skip a step. Now let me get a look at you, hon.”
He spread your legs wide and brought his face right up to it, just to see just how much of your slick had been leaking out of it. There was so much that it had made a giant spot on the bed. He then looked up at you, his eyes glazing over with lust as his lips formed into a devilish grin.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone this wet and the fact that it was only from a hickey. Shit, I think that’s the highest compliment.” With that, he grabbed a condom from his wallet and handed it to you before he took off his jeans and boxers, revealing his giant cock.
“Well, if I’m super wet, then you’re super hard.”
“Right you are, angel,” he winked. “Wanna do the honors?”
“I can do that,” you nodded and ripped the packet open before rolling the condom onto Eddie’s waiting cock. He then laid you back down onto the bed, pressing kisses to your lips before he slowly slid inside you.
“So tight, hon. But don’t worry, you’re gonna be so loose by the time I’m done with you.”
He thrusted slowly in and out of you, moans escaping both of your mouths as he did so. He was eating up your sounds, knowing that they would live in his head rent free even after the night was over. You just sounded so heavenly that he wanted to hear your moans replay on a loop.
“Eddie, sh-shit, oh my god.” This was something that you had never felt before. You had slept with plenty of people, but with Eddie, it was different. It felt so good and he wanted to make sure that was all you felt. He was so sweet and caring.
“I know, honey. You feel so good. Already loosening you up. And look at you, taking me so well.” His pumps got a little faster and your moans were louder, almost sounding like screams. Eddie had just started and you were already close? He must have been better than he thought.
He continued to pump in and out, hearing your whines that sounded like music to his ears. He was just getting started, but could see you fading out. Your vision was getting hazy just as there was a pounding on the door, causing Eddie to cover your mouth to make sure your scream didn’t escape.
Eddie slowly pulled out and disposed of the condom before hurrying to put on his boxes before rushing to the door to open it. He pulled it open just enough to see who was on the other side but made sure that his underwear was hidden.
Buck was on the other side, rubbing sleep from his eyes and Eddie didn’t even need to hear what he had to say. His cheeks turned red as he realized that was going on.
“Look, man, I’m happy that you guys are together or whatever, but can you please keep it down? Some of us are trying to sleep.”
Eddie cleared his throat, trying to play it off, but he was actually so embarrassed. Especially because his best friend could hear him. How thin were the walls? Apparently very since it seemed like Buck had heard everything.
“Sorry, we’ll, uh, keep it down.”
“Thank god. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go Google how I can unhear something.” With that, Buck headed back to his room, Eddie shutting the door behind him.
There was no way Eddie could fuck you now. He was so embarrassed that his best friend had heard everything and now he was afraid he wasn’t going to be able to live it down.
He headed back over to you and you had put on a pair of sweatpants, already under the covers and the lamp was turned off. He got in and scooted over to you, pressing his body up against yours before draping an arm over your waist. You turned over to face him, giving him a warm smile while he returned an apologetic one.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” you assured him. “Believe me, as soon as we’re able to go home, you are more than welcome to have your way with me.”
“Oh, you always know just the right thing to say, huh?” He pressed a kiss to your lips and the two of you spent the rest of the night talking in hushed tones about everything and nothing until you both fell asleep in each other’s arms. Looking forward to waking up, your eyes boring into one another’s, feeling like the luckiest people on earth because you finally had each other.
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