#and im gonna try to use it for as long as possible bc that's the goal anyway and also bc i know that shit is NOT reselling for ANYTHING

[tommygotwrittenoff]

i literally do not care about big emergencies on abc's 911. i want to see my characters talk to each other and have stories that are parallels to small, everyday (everyday for first responders) emergencies

[skrunksthatwunk]

did my first ever used car browsing online and there's a car that's like really good on basically every aspect but the color is fucking NASTY. but ive been evolving a bit around it. and so now im like thinking "okay the bit's funny now but would it be funny in like seven years" kinda stuff

[kerorowhump]

saw the discussion about keroro clones,shin keroro dark keroro and the third movie etc just want to add some context to the whole keroro clone thing as someone that reads the manga in Japanese and are in touch with the Japanese fandom:

1. Dark keroro in the movie is a keroro clone created by the kiruru system but in the manga dark keroro is straight up just a version of keroro himself but serious that are controlled by something called the emperor system that is already installed in the keron star or on keroro himself,triggered by tororo’s hacking of the keroro robot .

2.The most prevalent theory in the Asian side of the fandom about what shin keroro is that he is an genetically altered keroro clone and that’s why he possesses traits that normal keronians don’t have and are extremely different (almost opposite in some cases)physically. About why he is only one “born”in a hundred years,you might want to consider that the manga originally is meant to be satirical and the keron society is based on Japan itself during different periods; the military is based on wwII Japanese empire and the culture is based on current Japan.Low birth rate and stagnation in society is a huge problem in Japan. Also considering the extremely long life keronians seems to have(10500+yrs old is considered middle age) him being the only born in a hundred years don’t seem too weird.But the timing of the birth is definitely sus because of the time difference between keron and earth is 1 earth year =300 keron years so he is born after the platoon is dispatched to earth.

3. Shin keroro is sent to earth by the supreme command which is an entirely different organization to the military branch the platoon belongs to,keroro’s commander even complained about how the supreme command sent shin keroro without his permission so there is some kind of infighting ongoing between different factions of the military.

I also want to add some to the discussion about keroro’s potential because the manga canon characterization of keroro is quite different from the anime because of the switch from a satirical adult manga to a kid friendly comedy tv series ;

1. Keroro in the manga definitely knows something about the keron star and how to use it but chooses not to use it for some reason and lies about not knowing what the keron star is straight to kururu’s face ( and like in the next episode he left a note to Moa to tell her to take care of the others before transforming into a dragon to fight black star but pretend to transform on accident; also the silhouette that threatened to overwrite dark star ‘s data speaks in a way unique to keroro in Japanese)

2. The keron star seems to take a toll on keroro’s body and kururu knows it.Keroro also seems to have immunity to mind control effects in general on most situations. He also loses consciousness if he give the keron star away willingly for some reason.Keroro still have the mood swings like the anime but in the manga when he is overwhelmed it seems like he just turns off completely and are void of any emotions(the author has stated in the databook that keroro is hard to read and are supposed to be scary when he have an neutral expression) The consensus of the Japanese fandom on keroro’s character is that he is secretly an extremely powerful and capable character but refuses to show his true aspects in any way other than to protect his friends and plays a character to hide it.

3. The first meeting of keroro and giroro in vol 29 is extremely sus for many reasons;firstly the way baby keroro speaks is just not how a normal child speaks in Japanese, kids are not supposed to speak like high rank military officers when they are in kindergarten (for your reference baby giroro who grew up in a family of military personnel does not speak like that).Secondly the whole thing about how keroro was in a hospital for a long period of time when he seems to be generally healthy as a kid.Thirdly, baby keroro seemed extremely intentional about invading earth and finding people to be part of his team and the fact that the keron army has tried to invade earth tens of thousands of times and failed.Also the fact that earth invasion is one of the most coveted missions in the keron army.Lastly ,the fact that Garuru is there to oversee the interaction,garuru is specifically stated to works for the higher ups and carries secret missions,he also oversees kururu when he is still a kid,so the fact that he just happens to be there when keroro leaves the “hospital “doesn’t seem like a coincidence.

4. Keroro has to be ancient .In one of the relatively newer chapters there is a panel that straight up said there is a version of keroro in one of those ancient robots from the hot spring episode; considering the time difference of keron and earth some version of keroro had to exist hundreds of thousands of years ago.Also the fact that Moa is stated to be 2000yrs old on earth time but have meet keroro as a child when keroro is supposed born 35yrs ago in earth time.

Sorry for the word dump but seeing discussions about keroro lore makes me excited lol

OK SO, HI ANON. You're my new idol, seriously. I've been suffering all day at the lesson, with the burning desire to answer this ask. I'm at home now, eating in front of the computer so I could get to it right away, because you made my heart beat.

Of course, despite my undying love for KG and Keroro, and my attempts to keep track of all lore and be accurate, I am but a mere bilingual italian, non-japanese speaking, haven't even finished the anime+manga, humble fan. So to receive this much information from someone like you, I consider an honor, and a chance to learn. I really do feel honored that someone like you chose ME to talk about this stuff because it makes me feel a bit more confident that I'm at least on the right track...

Kissing ass aside (dkfhskgd) I WANTED to answer you in-depth, so here goes.

"Dark keroro in the movie is a keroro clone created by the kiruru system but in the manga dark keroro is straight up just a version of keroro himself but serious that are controlled by something called the emperor system that is already installed in the keron star or on keroro himself,triggered by tororo’s hacking of the keroro robot" I see. Deeply fascinating. I already knew that the manga and anime have such different canons they might as well be separate works, and I read the Dark Keroro story in 2023, but I don't remember it well, and I haven't watched the movie yet, so this is all new information to me. The wording you use is interesting. If something can be installed on Keroro himself, that would imply that, as I suspected (and briefly speculated about), there is the potential for him to be remotely controlled? And likewise, such a thing could be said if it was installed on the Keron Star anyway. If I'm understanding this correctly.

"The most prevalent theory in the Asian side of the fandom about what shin keroro is that he is an genetically altered keroro clone and that’s why he possesses traits that normal keronians don’t have and are extremely different (almost opposite in some cases)physically." Yeah, that checks out. His reaction to humidity being a dead giveaway that he's far from a natural keronian. Then again, I've been suspecting not even Keroro is a natural keronian and has definitely been messed with in some way, so it would be reasonable that the character that's basically "we're trying to make keroro again part 2" would share a similarity there. "About why he is only one “born”in a hundred years,you might want to consider that the manga originally is meant to be satirical and the keron society is based on Japan itself during different periods; the military is based on wwII Japanese empire and the culture is based on current Japan.Low birth rate and stagnation in society is a huge problem in Japan." I'm aware... the general vibe of the work (borh anime n manga from what I've experienced) appears to me like a satirical take on japanese society, with its strictness and some bits that could be improved, Keron is of course a parallel to that to me... I tend to try to ask the questions in a diegetic sense before I go with the meta one, just to make sure I'm properly combing the lore, y'kno. But I had already considered all of this dhgfg "Also considering the extremely long life keronians seems to have(10500+yrs old is considered middle age) him being the only born in a hundred years don’t seem too weird.But the timing of the birth is definitely sus because of the time difference between keron and earth is 1 earth year =300 keron years so he is born after the platoon is dispatched to earth" You're right, it's not too weird in general... it felt a little weird to me in the context of them (Keron) trying to mess with genetics (especially the aging process) and their obsession with wanting Earth in particular (assuming they need the specific resources or something like that, if there is no other motivation for the Pekopon-craze). I feel like I discovered the difference between keron years and earth years somewhere in the anime already (when they were calculating their age in human years for a gag) but again, different canons, and it's super useful to me to have it laid out straight-forwardly like this.

"Shin keroro is sent to earth by the supreme command which is an entirely different organization to the military branch the platoon belongs to, keroro’s commander even complained about how the supreme command sent shin keroro without his permission so there is some kind of infighting ongoing between different factions of the military" Extremely interesting. Didn't know this at all. Duly noted.

"I also want to add some to the discussion about keroro’s potential because the manga canon characterization of keroro is quite different from the anime because of the switch from a satirical adult manga to a kid friendly comedy tv series" Even as someone who is still basically early in the manga, it's definitely a noticeable difference in some places... I tend to "supplement" the anime keroro using the manga keroro for NOW, just because nothing has felt contradicting between the two (some bits even compliment each other, you've probably seen me talk about keroro using screenshots from both... a lot), but of course that may change. I'm still learning...

"Keroro in the manga definitely knows something about the keron star and how to use it but chooses not to use it for some reason and lies about not knowing what the keron star is straight to kururu’s face" MHM. Yeah, I got that general impression (that he knows) and actively resists it. That second bit though I don't recall seeing (him lying to Kururu's face), I implore you to send me the screenshots/vol number of it, because I'm super interested. Well in general if you could give me the most crucial bits where this is proven, it would save me a huge headache with trying to piece them together by myself later. If that makes sense. "(and like in the next episode he left a note to Moa to tell her to take care of the others before transforming into a dragon to fight black star but pretend to transform on accident; also the silhouette that threatened to overwrite dark star ‘s data speaks in a way unique to keroro in Japanese)" Yep. Yep. 100000% yep. Even as a lowly non-japanese speaker I clocked that the silhouette was Keroro right away lol If I'm not mistaken, what you mean is that he uses dearimasu right here (although he also uses watashi), but if you mean something else lmk.

So my humble take away from this is that the equivalent to all the data inside the keron star is basically its own alive entity, and so that would also explain a bunch of other stuff (keroro not remembering anything of when he uses the star, his "fainting" (? i'll get to that), the star actively taking away from him (oh parasite theory my beloved) and stuff like that...).

2. "The keron star seems to take a toll on keroro’s body and kururu knows it." YESSSS THE WAY I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS. Well, I've looked into the vol21 raws dialogue for what you mean about Kururu as well (I have the full RAWs to check whenever I need I'm just... well, inexperienced, I might lose nuances. This is 10000000% correct and I already knew it, but feelsgood to read it said by you. "Keroro also seems to have immunity to mind control effects in general on most situations." I'VE NOTICED THIS... WELL, KIND OF. I noticed that he didn't undergo the effects of the keron star when kitty was using it. I can't recall a lot of instances off the top of my head rn. Examples encouraged to build my own mental library. But vaguely speaking, I got that impression, I guess. "He also loses consciousness if he give the keron star away willingly for some reason." When was this? Genuine question because I don't remember this and I want to see it. Unless you mean vol10, where I kinda got the impression that he just got captured because without (well, even With) the star he's pretty powerless. I feel like I'm missing something here. "Keroro still have the mood swings like the anime but in the manga when he is overwhelmed it seems like he just turns off completely and are void of any emotions" I have some... moments in mind... but please do give me examples (BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE IT!!!). To be fair, the anime kinda does the same? He pretty much turns off in ep64. I guess maybe they're more wishy-washy about it. But I think you mean specifically this, right?

I haven't gotten to this point in the anime yet, so no comment. But we 🤝🤝 about noticing how his mood swings are odd in the first place. Hmm... the way he also needs to receive some sort of blow to the head/lose consciousness to more easily access the powers of the Star... (if I have understood the moments right at least... and also, not always. strong emotions also activate it. but even if he knows this... does he actually have a full control on it?)

"(the author has stated in the databook that keroro is hard to read and are supposed to be scary when he have an neutral expression)" And man, he is. Also, which one is the databook? I have all the encyclopedias (I think?). So I was definitely right on the money anyway that the main point of Keroro's allure and even uneasiness (for us) is just how unreadable he is all the time. I kinda touched upon it here but ik you mean something different (when we can Actually see his face). But they go pretty much hand in hand. Shielding Keroro's expression from us or making it completely neutral makes us feel like we can't have a proper look at what his true thoughts and feelings are. Obviously something you implement in a character when they're hiding a big secret from the reader.

"The consensus of the Japanese fandom on keroro’s character is that he is secretly an extremely powerful and capable character but refuses to show his true aspects in any way other than to protect his friends and plays a character to hide it." I see. Checks out with the type of fancontent (fanarts and videos... anyway check this out it's a banger). I think I skew a bit to the side of this consensus. I don't know how to explain it well. I don't disagree, I just think there's even more going on. Some sort of awareness of something that it doesn't seem like he can change. Obviously like he has more experience than he lets on, like "he has done this before", or like he's so in touch with the contents of the keron star and those... unfortunately have some horrific knowledge for him in particular. I don't know if you're the same anon, but I only recently read vol23 and these + these were my takeaways (Just so we're on the same page on where I am mentally at, if I haven't forgotten about a post i made or something). Though naturally, his "sus journey" didn't start with him acquiring the keron star (as you mentioned), I just always felt like he didn't really "earn it" and it was always destined to him anyway, making his struggles with self esteem and lost potential entirely and ironically moot (on purpose). And that it's also something that he thinks he needs (to achieve a goal we're not aware of) but that is actually taking away from him and somewhat like a scam the whole time. If that makes sense? Here's a bunch of posts I made in the past that sorta paint an idea of what's in my brain about this whole thing 1 2 3 4 (sorry for giving you homework). Like, in my head, obviously there's a Reason he doesn't reveal himself/his potential and just bears this cross alone, you know? And on top of that, there must be a reason (besides earth atmosphere shenanigans) of why he used to be so hellbent on invasion as a child, and now he's constantly having sisyphean existential cryses trying to come up with invasion plans (or reverting to "working on them" when he's low enough or feels there's no way out) when it's clear he DOESN'T want to do it and is obviously just stalling. If he's so powerful as they say, why doesn't he do something about it? That's why I "skew" just a bit left of this general consensus. I hope that's clear and I'm not rambling.

3. "The first meeting of keroro and giroro in vol 29 is extremely sus for many reasons;" I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT SO. "firstly the way baby keroro speaks is just not how a normal child speaks in Japanese, kids are not supposed to speak like high rank military officers when they are in kindergarten (for your reference baby giroro who grew up in a family of military personnel does not speak like that)." Insanely interesting detail. For obvious reasons, I wasn't aware. I beg you to go into more details with this, I'd like to know the dialogues and like, a full analysis on why they're weird. "Secondly the whole thing about how keroro was in a hospital for a long period of time when he seems to be generally healthy as a kid." Oh I think about that all the time LMAO. Me having a good peaceful day then all of a sudden I think "what the fuck does THAT mean". As I said in the past, if he's saying the truth... why was he? And if he's lying... why WOULD HE? The way he literally just popped up one day and Giroro had never seen him before. SUS. "Thirdly, baby keroro seemed extremely intentional about invading earth and finding people to be part of his team and the fact that the keron army has tried to invade earth tens of thousands of times and failed." Yes one million percent. I agree and I definitely clocked that as well. Which makes me happy... maybe I'm not as clueless as I thought... "Also the fact that earth invasion is one of the most coveted missions in the keron army. Lastly, the fact that Garuru is there to oversee the interaction, Garuru is specifically stated to works for the higher ups and carries secret missions, he also oversees Kururu when he is still a kid, so the fact that he just happens to be there when keroro leaves the “hospital “doesn’t seem like a coincidence." I see... didn't know this about Garuru yet. Noted.

4. "Keroro has to be ancient." I'VE BEEN SAYING THAT. And not since I read vol23, but since 2023 (when I started the show/manga). It literally just makes sense. And there's just a lot of details that point to it, even early on! Glad to see I'm on the right track!! "In one of the relatively newer chapters there is a panel that straight up said there is a version of keroro in one of those ancient robots from the hot spring episode;" Kermit nod... I see... (which chapter? I wanna check it out). Also that's insane that they brought that back (but also makes sense, they were ancient technology that went unaddressed so...). "considering the time difference of keron and earth some version of keroro had to exist hundreds of thousands of years ago. Also the fact that Moa is stated to be 2000yrs old on earth time but have meet keroro as a child when keroro is supposed born 35yrs ago in earth time." Yeah. Honestly, with the sort of insane speculation I've done in my head, I've even thought that Keroro may be an attempt to bring whatever is inside Keron back to life, if the planet was some sort of living entity/perhaps even an egg, considering they look the same as well. But that's just unhinged talk... EITHER WAY. HE IS ANCIENT. I BEEN KNEW YEAH. But if you have more specific insight on this that I might've missed on account of my lowly bilinguism, please feel free to send.

"Sorry for the word dump but seeing discussions about keroro lore makes me excited lol" I hate keroro lore discussions. Never contact me or send me an ask ever again. I'm literally blocking you. ...KIDDING. Obviously, I love them too. Don't tell anyone but I skipped my lunch of re-heated pizza to answer this as quickly as I could, it took me about 2 hours. Now it's just cold pizza...

Well, um, I guess that's all I had to say about that.

EDIT: As it turns out I did have more to say actually. About that whole "situation he can't change" point I was talking about during the General Consensus bit, see my brief posts on Keroro wanting to be in control of the narrative which you find linked here.

Right here.

Because I feel like it fits too... and might just be the reason he was drawn to the Keron Star in the first place... to protect his friends, and to have control over events/other people's actions. Yes I'm making this point by using the anime... if that's not up to standard I'm sorry... I thought it fit.

[mycological-mariner]

Cool so I get to start training in a forge and welding and steam engine maintenance and fitting on weekends

[emry-stars-art]

@anon-lemon with this ask and the resulting one shot: I also think freshwater merDrew is pretty hehe, the fish I based him off of is a peacock bass (maybe specifically royal peacock bass? With the more blue fin idk) but more dramatic. Like so:

(This is him in perfect nice lighting under shallow water probably but shh he’s beautiful)

Reference pictures I used under the cut

I love mixing and matching references. Idc what I heard growing up, life CAN be a buffet and I CAN a pick my favorite parts to mash together sometimes 😌

[itsrlymine]

i apologize for the really long ask but i really wanted to share my thoughts and i would make my own loa blog but i dont have it in me to deal with anons so i fear i will dump them all on you 😔 first off i want to say THANKKKK YOUUUUUU you literally changed my manifestation journey i used to be really into manifestation back in 2021/2022 and i was trying to manifest my dream face but it never happened no matter how much i affirmed or listened to subs or anything so i was just like fuck it this manifesting stuff isnt real imma just move on with my life and thats how i went about my life until you popped up on my dashboard a month ago and usually i would click not interested on any loa content but i was like you know what lemme give this stuff a chance again bc i did try the non manifesting route and it didnt work out bc when i tell you my life went DOWNHILL i used to protect myself from negative experiences by having the belief that i was simply the exception to terrible stuff but the moment i left the loa behind and was like no thats unrealistic anything can happen well guess what!! so many bad stuff happened in my life the last 2 years its genuinely crazy. so i was like lemme try this again and i went through your blog and really tried to materialize everything you were saying and read it with the attitude that what you are saying IS real instead of the doubting attitude i had towards loa advice/info back in 2022 and things really shifted for me.

so the first thing i learned is that MANIFESTATION IS REAL and more importantly NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE what i went through these past two years was proof to me that manifestation is real because once i adopted that negative mindset and dropped any positive beliefs i had my life became a nightmare and all those terrible thoughts manifested right before my eyes. for example i used to believe that i always looked pretty no matter what, this was just something part of my belief system but when i abandoned the law and everything i told myself no thats crazy i cant mAniFeSt looking pretty its unrealistic if im not pretty then im just not and bro when i tell you i was at my lowest appearance wise I WAS AT MY LOWESSTT my classmates at school would come up to me and tell me i looked so different and so dull even my mom would say the same stuff to me and tell me i changed i also noticed a difference when i looked in the mirror. the reason why i felt like manifestation wasnt real was because it just seemed really crazy to me, i felt like things materializing out of nowhere and appearances changing drastically was just like something fantastical and just not possible here in the real world. well i am here to tell you that is NAWT THE CASE! the world is not logical and im gonna tell you why. most of us here have grew up religious, and whats more illogical than religion? there are so many stories in the bible where illogical stuff happen like youre telling me some guy can turn water into wine? doesnt that sound like something out of a fantasy movie? but it happened, right? you believe in the bible so you believe in all the stuff that happened in it even the magical stuff. and another thing with growing up religious is that we always hear stories about miracles where for example a neighbor who was really sick suddenly woke up completely healthy. and we also were taught that we can ask god for anything and that god can make anything happen. i remember when my dad would teach me about religion he would say that god can make the grass is purple if he wanted to. it isnt just in religion but also in another spiritual communities and stuff they also have their own stories where things that dont really make sense logically happen. this goes to show that the world and humanity were never logical and that illogical things can happen, they've been happening since the dawn of time. people just came up with their own explanations. so get that thought that you cant change your entire face because its too crazy out of your head because it isn't. anything is possible. we literally live on a rock and we somehow move and speak and talk and somehow atoms exist so pls get with the program aint nothing logical in this life and the sooner you come to terms with that the better. nothing is too crazy because existence itself is crazy.

the second thing i learned was that MANIFESTATION IS NOT A PROCESS. i used to hear this all the time back in 2022 and it never made sense to me i was always like what tf are yall talking about???? my understanding was that manifestation is the act of trying to get something, but i was so so wrong. everything changed for me when i started approaching manifestation with the attitude that i was reminding myself of what i have, not trying to get what i want. basically stop thinking of manifestation as manifestation if ykwim. to really understand this im gonna have to talk about the whole "decide that you have your desire > affirm that you have it > keep presisting" thing and break it down.

so what do people mean when they tell you to decide that you have your desire? does it mean saying out loud "i have __" and then a few seconds going "alright wheres my ___?" no. it means you in your mind decide that its ALREADY YOURS and that you ALREADY GOT IT. i dont know how to word this any differently because its so simple its literally in the words. im gonna try an example. im assuming that youre reading this with your eyes so you have eyes. are you trying to 'manifest' having eyes? when you say "i have eyes" are you using an affirmation to get eyes? is having eyes a desire youre trying to 'manifest'? no because you literally already have eyes bro how else are you reading this with your bootyhole??? so when you say "i have eyes" you arent manifesting via affirming, youre just saying it to remind yourself because well you have eyes. you arent trying to manifest eyes because you already have them. thats what it means to decide that your desire is yours. it means to stop treating what is yours as a desire because its literally yours. stop seeing it as something youre trying to manifest because you already have it, wtf do you need to manifest for? do you get it? don't think of doing this as you tricking your mind into thinking you have your desires because AGAINN you arent tricking anything you literally already have it. when you say "i have eyes" and you have eyes are you trying to trick gour brain? no. that sounds silly. im sorry that this is so repetitive but its literally that simple idk what everyone else is doing complicating the most simple thing ever.

and now, what do people mean by affirm that you have it? does that mean using affirmations to manifest your 'desire'? (i put desire in quotations bc you already have it since you decided you do) no. it simply means reminding yourself that you do. ill go back to the eyes example. if you were to say "i have eyes" right now would you understand that as some woo woo manifestation affirmation technique? no because you already have eyes. what youre doing is simply stating a fact and reminding yourself of it for funsies. you arent trying to manifest anything because you already have it. affirming doesn't mean tricking your brain or your subconscious that you have your desire or whatever, its just you reminding yourself.

and finally, what does it mean to persist? does that mean fighting for your life trying to convince yourself that you have your desire? no. because you already have it. it simply means that everytime you ask yourself "oh why isnt this showing up in my 3d?" you tell yourself "bro what tf are you on about were not manifesting anything we already have it are you crazy?" that's all. going back to the eyes example, you know you have eyes, so if someone came up to you rn and was like "hey did your eyes come in yet?" you'd probably think they hit their head or something because your eyes are literally right there its how youre seeing their dumbass. that's the same attitude you have to have towards your 'desires'. stop thinking of your 'desires' as desires, stop thinking youre trying to manifest anything, stop thinking you have to wait for anything to show up in the 3d or that the 3d is lagging behind or whatever, stop seeing manifestation as manifestation, stop imagining yourself sending in success stories asks when you get your desires, basically just stop dawg. you already have it. "dont contradict yourself" (although again you arent contradicting anything bc you already have it im just running out of ways to simply something thats already so simple). thats what it means to manifest instantly.

anyways thats all i wanted to say. im so sorry for the horrendously long ask i would make it even longer by talking about my success now but i think you would beat my ass if i did. bye bye love u

!!!!! you ate this whole thing up. y'all better come read this.

[mimiruuna]

Can you write the tuplar crew with a s/o who can't control their volume in bed (🔞 nsfw)

ofc ofc!! thank u for ur request lovely anon!

(afab reader, she/her pronouns, nsfw under the cut!!)

anya ۶ৎ

gets very flustered when you won't shut the hell up

esp on the tulpar, will try to gently remind you to stay quiet while she's beneath you

and if that doesn't work, she'll slap her hand over your mouth and finger you a bit more roughly

its a bit different when you're riding her face, however

like before, she'll give you a small warning by squeezing your waist

and if you're still loud, she'll dig her long nails into your hips and thrust her tongue into you

...which is kinda counterintuitive but oh well

now, if you two are on earth and in the comfort of your shared home, make all the noise you want!!

she totally gets off to it

'no way im making someone as beautiful as her feel this good...'

"hey, shhh, keep it down a bit, yeah?"

curly ۶ৎ

regardless of whether or not you're typically loud during sex, you're going to be loud w curly, because man is he BIG

he knows you're gonna be loud so he usually fucks you in the cockpit or utility room, where it's a bit more soundproof

but of course he's gonna ask you to quiet down regardless bc who knows who could be lurking??!

he'll either tell you to bite your hand, cover your mouth, or he'll rip off your panties and shove them into your mouth

none of them work

for the rare times he'll take you in his room, he always has you face down and screaming into the pillows

he wants to see ur pretty little face scrunched up in the most blissful expressions, but goddamn he just dicks you down too well

a small (huge) part of him really just wants to fuck you anywhere and let everyone hear you scream his name

"fuck, princess, that feel real good, yeah?"

"god, so loud y/n."

daisuke ۶ৎ

it just swells his ego, tbh

he's just like, "wow, i'm making her make these sounds?!"

so cute

of course, he still wants you to hush, but isn't sure how to get you to without being mean

he'll try to be as sweet as possible, he'll run his hand up and down your waist or press his thumb to your lips while whispering little praises in you ear

"you feel so good, but please keep it down before we get caught!"

starts to get a little scared when you keep moaning and squealing at an excessive volume, genuinely has no idea what to do 😭

like curly, will also try to take you to more closed off places, mainly the utility room because it's not odd for him to be in there anyway

it's hilarious how panicked he gets when you two are fucking, one time he took off his hawaiian shirt and shoved it into your mouth

and surprisingly it did the job!!!!

"am i doing good? i must be..."

jimmy ۶ৎ

he totally gets off to it

so much so that he won't even do anything, he'll just let you scream

it happens so often that curly has to talk to the two of you about your volume

he even separated you two for a day, not like that was gonna do anything beneficial

like daisuke, but on a way worse level, it inflates his ego to no end

you'll be moaning loud as fuck and he's just there grinning in your face

he's not very used to women actually enjoying his dick as much as you do, they're typically just cheap whores or girls he's taken advantage of

but you?? coming and clamping around his cock as you moan into the air?? without being forced??

it makes him come like a thousand times quicker

"ooh, you like that dick? i know you do."

"yeah, let everyone else know who's pussy this is."

swansea ۶ৎ

he knows how to deal with youngins like you, after all, he has tons of experience from his wife

he gives your ass harsh smacks when you don't hush, and if that doesn't work he'll pull his thick cock out of you and chastise you while smacking it on your cunt

he's definitely a pussy slapper/clit pincher

orgasm denial orgasm denial orgasm denial

will also just straight up slap the fuck outta you if you keep on

he's so mean i kinda need him

he literally doesn't understand you, its so easy to shut up to him

prefers to have you ass up face down so you can make all that noise onto whatever surface he's fucking you on

dw he's super sweet afterwards, will gives you kisses all over and whisper praise and hdjidissk

"damn woman, can't be that good..."

"make a noise like that again and i'll leave you high and dry young lady."

[rosenclaws]

Headcanons for each Logan in regards to the following please: 1. You're a virgin, he's about to be your first. 2. How he comforts you when you're upset. 3. First words and actions towards you after he rescues you from a kidnapping.

OO yes i love all these ideas If you don't mind I'm gonna split them up into 3 different posts! so this will be the first one!

(also if anyone wants to request specific logans to add like 70's or like an AU logan plz feel free. Im adding 70's to this bc it's perfect for him lol)

It's not full smut but I'll still warn for spice and ask that Minors DNI!

How the different Logan's would react to being your first

Origins Logan -

Ugh he would be so damn sweet and careful for your first time. I think he'd be a little hesitant as well because he's worried he's going to hurt you but he totallyyyy talks you through it. He also does a whole date before hand to help you relax. I'm talking a candlelight dinner into a nice relaxing bath into making out on the bed. Once he has you fully relaxed he makes sure you're okay and then he'll spend all night showing you just how you deserve to be treated.

Trilogy Logan -

Oh man his ego is relentless. He would be grinning from ear to ear like a total jerk when he hears you're a virgin. In the least creepy way possible it makes Logan so damn excited. He's a little worried about tainting you with his mess but fuck you're so sweet and you're trusting him of all people with this. Now just because he's cocky doesn't mean he's a total asshole about it. He will always make sure you're comfortable but he will tease you about it till you're too flustered to think. Of course he offers to be your teacher in ever aspect and will happily spend hours answering all your questions.

DOFP!Logan (gray hair) -

He feels guilty but also very intrigued. Like he's an older man now who should not be messing around with pretty virgins but he can't help himself. He may be wiser and kinder but deep down he's still the man he was all those years ago. He also guides you through it for sure like origins logan and just. Mmm fuck. He def grabs your face and checks in on you during it too to make sure and he absolutely demands that you call him sir and promises to teach you everything he's learned over his long life.

70's Logan (I'm adding him bc i just couldn't ignore him with this scenario)

He's so fucking filthy maybe you should never have told him. He fucking smiles like the grinch when you tell him. He's mocking when he tells you not to worry, that he'll take real good care of you and fuck you dumb until you can't even remember your name. He takes sooo much pleasure in know he's your first and being the one you trust with this just makes his ego go crazy. You beg him not to be so mean and he coos like the nice man he is and tells you he'll be on his best behavior. He does love it if you cry though but only because of how good it feels. He's also the guy to be like "make sure that whatever dick you sleep with next does this" and just like takes you apart so easily to prove he will always be the best man you've ever been with.

Old Man Logan -

He feels so horrible but he can't say no to you. He tries to talk you out of it. Like tells you he's not the man you should trust for this and to find someone who's less broken and can treat you like you need to be treated. He almost sees you like a fragile glass doll and he's a sledgehammer. But you refuse to budge. Trying to convince him that he's not going to break you and that you're an adult and you know what you want an you want him. He's not as athletic as he used to be so its much slower than he would like but he does everything he can to make sure it's a memorable experience. (It totally is)

Worst Logan -

Oh man so I said he was a shameful perv and I meant it. It should not turn him on as much as it does and he beats himself up for it mentally every time he so much as looks at you. You're innocent and kind and he's mean and old there's no way he can be the one to take that from you. He's like an animal though and when you look at him with those cute eyes and beg him to take your virginity he just breaks. He is a weak, weak man. He checks in on you a lot and makes sure he's not doing anything wrong. Almost too much because you just want him to hurry up with it at some points. But Logan is whining and panting as he shows you everything you've been missing. He does feel guilty but fuck it he'll repent later.

[firingstars]

neighborly advice | ch. 7

bucky barnes x female reader

summary: bucky prepares for your date, while you deal with the fly.

warnings: mdni, eventual smut, timeline is somewhere around the middle/end of fatws, language, alcohol, slapping, arguments, bucky blushes

word count: 3.8k

a/n: smut coming soon i promise yall… im tryna decide if i wanna give u guys a 6k long chapter for #8 or split it up ;; i also dk how long this series is gonna be i might start writing a one shot in the middle of this bc i have smth i wanna do rq

previous chapter | next chapter

Bucky was essentially on cloud nine as he got ready for his date. He slept early without any nightmares, which was a pleasant and welcome surprise, and woke up refreshed. It was the first time, in a long time, that he had been able to rest so well. After his little chat with his date on the fire escape, he went back inside to complete his planning of the night ahead.

There was a drive in movie that would be playing some sci-fi film. That was his plan, he decided. She was smart, and she seemed to enjoy reading about lots of different things. Plus, it filled him with some sort of childish excitement. It felt like he was going to Stark’s convention with Steve all over again. Since receiving his pardon and being reintroduced into the normal world, he actually hadn’t had any chance to go out and do things because he wanted to. It didn’t feel right for him to enjoy life, as sad as it sounded. It still felt slightly wrong, but he was doing it to make her happy. He just happened to enjoy the same things. Bucky accepted the loophole with open arms.

He pulled out a soft blanket and spare pillows from his closet to bring down to the parking garage in preparation for the movie. Bucky would set it all up in advance, get everything pretty and ready so that there would be nothing that she needed to worry about when the time would come. She just needed to enjoy herself. Bucky would make it his personal mission for her to enjoy herself.

While he was out of the apartment, he decided to go get some snacks for the movie, too. Bucky had full intentions of bringing her to dinner before the movie. It was no good to watch a movie on an empty stomach, but what if she wanted to snack on something?

At the store, he realized he had no idea what her preference for anything was. All he knew was that she possibly liked muffins, and she had chocolates and blueberries in her house. He felt like this was a repeat of the flower stand as he stood in the aisles. Then, he found himself consulting Google for the first time.

After gathering what he decided was a smart array of snacks and different things for her to choose from, he made one more stop at an actual florist shop. He’d already gotten her flowers, but those were apology flowers. He needed to get her date flowers. Something with more intention behind it. Roses were still a good symbol of romance, right?

He picked the reddest roses in the shop, and had the florist carefully tie a pretty bow around the stems. Bucky didn’t remember the last time he had been so gentle with something as he walked down the street carrying a bouquet of roses and a bag full of different snacks and things.

“Dinner would take us maybe an hour or two,” he murmured as he pushed open the door to his apartment. He took his shoes off, lining them against the door like she had done before as he continued to run through his mental checklist. He didn’t know if this was something cultural to her, or if she just liked shoes off in the house. Either way, he easily started adapting it in his own routine. “It will take about thirty minutes to drive to the movie– what kind of music should I play?”

Bucky found himself sitting on the couch, angrily glaring at his phone as he frantically searched for songs to play. He knew 40s music. Would she like 40s music? He hadn’t heard music played from her side of the wall before. Should he try to find a station in his car that played music that was trending now?

He was giving himself a headache and needed a breather. He closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them, he checked the clock. It was already three thirty. Shit.

Bucky rushed to the shower. He took extra care to scrub the body wash that she said she liked into every pore in his body, and made sure the cologne he used stuck to his skin properly. Fuck, he even made sure his arm was shining and polished even though he knew he would have it covered and gloved for a majority of the night. In the off chance that she would see the vibration, he wanted to make sure it was clear of any potential smudges. Maybe she could even check her makeup in his arm if the shine held long enough.

Then, he stood in front of his closet. He didn’t have that much of a selection to choose from, and he wanted to kick himself then punch Sam’s face in– for no reason other than the fact that his head was floating around in his mind reminding him that he had once said that Bucky needed variety in his closet.

So, he settled on some clothes that were less worn than his others. They looked newer, a little nicer. He had changed three times before finally settling on this. Simple dark washed jeans, fitted shirt, and a nice jacket. Nothing too crazy, but he also didn’t know what was the fashion trend these days.

By the time he was fully ready, two hours had passed. He would wait another thirty minutes before he would go over and knock, asking her if she was ready for their date. He decided to brush his teeth one more time and–

“Get out!”

Bucky froze in his place.

It had been louder on the other side of the wall since he had gotten home. He couldn’t fully discern what the noise was, since it sounded like his neighbor was playing a show or movie, but also had a podcast on? But this— this was her voice. Then, he heard something shatter.

He moved, going to her door, knocking rapidly. Loudly. Calling out her name. The shouting on the other end got louder and he finally tried the doorknob. His heart sank briefly— it was unlocked. The worst scenarios raced through his mind as he pushed the door open.

The sight on the other end made him freeze in his place.

A resounding slap filled the air, and an angry red mark was starting to form on her face.

You finally called Leah, after contemplating it for another twenty minutes. You really didn’t need her coming here, nor did you want to talk to her face to face. Your day was going so fucking well and she didn’t need to ruin it.

“I already called off for the rest of the day, so if you’re gonna tell me to not come, then don’t,” Leah said on the other end of the phone. You glanced at the time. It was almost three thirty. “I’m already on my way.”

“Leah, seriously. I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Then when are we going to talk about it?” she spat at you. You could only let out a deep sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose as you felt a headache come on. “I have a spare key to your apartment. If you don’t answer the door, I’m going to come in.”

Shit.

Leah hung up without letting you respond, and didn’t answer your next follow up calls. If she was coming from Izzy’s, you had another twenty minutes to yourself. You decided to just get dressed comfortably. She didn’t need to know you were going on a date, much less with Bucky. You didn’t have to explain anything to her after the way she was acting with you.

A small part of you hoped there was something wrong, that maybe she was just testing Bucky. Maybe she was trying to see that he was a good man, capable and worthy of you. You hadn’t dated anyone in a long time, you haven't shown any interest in someone else in a long time. It was always work for you. There was never time for a relationship or romance. Maybe she was looking out. You could only hope that this was her angle– that this was her play.

A deeper part of you realized that you would be arguing with her. She was coming at you with enough hostility to start a war. There was nothing friendly about the conversation that was coming ahead. At this time, almost all of the families were home from school or coming home from their jobs. You turned on the TV and radio to make some sort of white noise, to drown out whatever argument you and Izzy were about to have.

The single mom next to you was known to be a gossip. She loved to spread rumors down in the laundry basement. You didn’t need the entire apartment building knowing about your personal affairs.

You waited anxiously for Leah’s arrival. You managed to speed through your makeup routine. All you needed to do was get dressed when it was time for your date. You stared at the flowers Bucky gave you last night. A small wave of calm washed over you as you looked at the flowers. They were pretty. At the very least, after Leah left, you would be able to spend the rest of the night with Bucky and forget about the storm she would bring.

She didn’t even knock. The door just opened swiftly. Leah didn’t even remove her shoes as she came in, and you frowned at the sight.

“Are you going to explain why you’ve been ghosting me for an entire day?” Leah demanded, arms crossed over her chest. She had an accusatory look on her face— almost as if she was trying to say you’d killed her precious childhood pet, not ignored your phone.

“I’m sorry, am I not allowed to have a life outside of you?” you asked with raised eyebrows. “I wasn’t aware that I was at your beck and call whenever you wanted me to be.”

“What are you even talking about? You don’t even have a job right now! Your lab? Your research? You have none of that and that is your life– so what life are you talking about?!” Leah exclaimed and you stared at her for a second, mouth agape. Leah froze, the weight of her words hitting her as well. She said your nickname softly, “Wait. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No. That’s enough. You don’t get to come into my house and start screaming at me. Get out, Leah. I’ll talk to you when I’m ready, not when you decide that you want to,” you said, standing up from your spot on the couch.

“What? We’ve been friends for years! You’re not just going to kick me out!”

“Yeah? Watch me. Give me back the spare key otherwise I’m calling the fucking police, Leah,” you threatened. Her eyes widened, but her hand tightened over the piece of metal.

“You’re insane. Over a man, really? You’re not even dating him!”

“It’s not even about the man at this point!” you shouted at her. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you! You’re someone entirely different– a few days ago you comforted me when I lost everything, and now you’re taking the one thing from me that I found comfort in!”

“Oh wow, woe is you!” Leah exclaimed sarcastically. “Rich girl forced into self-poverty cries about losing everything. Oh, grow up! You have everything. Do you realize how privileged you sound right now?”

“What the hell are you talking about, Leah?”

“Your life!” she shouted, taking a finger and pointing it at your chest roughly. “You grew up in an affluent home,” another jab, “you went to private schools with tuition that I could never dream of seeing in my bank account,” a third jab, “and you come to New York and try to sell your sob story to everyone that Daddy hates you? Shut the fuck up, seriously. People have bigger problems than you.”

“Who is saying that I am the only one with an issue?!” you shouted back, slapping her hand away from you.

“You act like you’re the only one with a problem!”

“Get out, Leah,” you told her, glaring. “Get out of my house.”

“You have everything you want in your hands, and you could have even more if you stopped being so fucking stubborn. Do you know what I would do to be in your shoes?”

“Is that why you try to go after the one thing that I don’t have? A guy?” you asked with a fake laugh. “Really? Is that all you can do?”

“Yeah, and he really liked me on that date,” she smirked. “Went home with me. You were right. He kisses really well. Did he do that tongue thing with you like he did with me? I mean, not on my mouth. Other lips.”

You raised your eyebrows at her. Fucking liar.

“Get out, Leah,” you repeated, keeping your voice even. You had nothing more to say to her.

“Jealous?” she asked, looking satisfied with herself. No. You weren’t jealous. You were fed up. Tired. Angry.

“Get out!” you shouted at her, pushing her by the shoulders. “I’m so sick of your shit! Get the fuck out of my house!”

“You’re seriously letting a man get in between us–”

“You’re the one who got in between us! You’re insane!” you cut her off. She was pushing back against you, not letting you push her out of your apartment. Briefly, you lost your footing, and slammed the side of your leg into the coffee table. You let out a gasp, watching as the vase with Bucky’s flowers toppled over and shattered on the floor. You didn’t even have time to mourn over it.

“Leah, I’m warning you. I’ll call the police,” you said slowly, jaw clenching.

“Do it, then. You’re just a crazy bitch who wishes you had real problems.”

“At least I don’t go after the men my best friend has interest in like an attention seeking whore,” you spat back.

Then, you were a little disoriented. The stinging sensation came a few seconds later as you blinked, trying to properly figure out where you were again. You stumbled back a little bit, bringing a hand to your cheek. It was throbbing, red and hot.

“Wait,” she whispered your nickname. “I didn’t mean to—“

“That’s enough,” you said, cutting her off as you turned to look at her. “I’m done. I’m… I’m done.”

”Please. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry. Just hear me out—“

”Alright. That’s enough,” a lower voice cut her off.

You looked beyond her, startled for a moment. You didn’t even hear the door open, but he was there at the threshold. You watched as he quickly took his shoes off and crossed into your space. He looked angry, upset.

“Bucky,” you whispered, and he reached for you. He gently cradled your face in his hands, checking over the damage on your face. The frown on his face deepened the longer he examined you. Bucky let out a low, deep breath.

“Can you grab your things, doll?” he asked you, voice lowered to just speak to you. It was soft. There was a contrast in how he looked. He was clearly trying to control himself, despite the fact that he was clearly upset with the situation at hand. “Whatever outfit you were gonna wear for me tonight, your phone. Just grab whatever you need.”

You blinked, then nodded. He let his hands fall from your face, and you turned to your room. You still didn’t have the perfect outfit chosen for the date ahead. and you needed to get some makeup to cover up the redness. Actually shit. When you glanced in the mirror, you saw an angry red line forming. Leah ended up cutting your cheek with her nail.

You shoved down the anger you were feeling. The frustration. There were too many things happening all at once, and there was only one of you. You grabbed the things that you thought you needed and came out of your bedroom, finding Leah trying to reason with Bucky, telling him that the situation isn’t what he saw. He just stared at her. Bucky didn’t give her a single word.

When he heard you step out of your room, he turned to you. He took your things from your hands, placed another hand on your lower back and started to lead you out the door.

”You can finish getting ready at my place, doll,” he murmured to you. You nodded quietly, allowing him to lead you away. You ignored Leah as she shouted your name, trying to follow the two of you. She came out into the hall as Bucky pushed open his own door and let you into his house first. Then, he used his entire body to block Leah from taking a single step forward. He slammed the door shut in her face without acknowledging her.

You slumped into his couch, exhausted. You closed your eyes, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to come forth.

Is that really what she thought of you? This entire time, she just thought you were a brat with no real problems? Is that how you came across to everyone else? Leah had been there with you through thick and thin, through the worst parts of your life. She had kept you awake at night when you had deadlines to meet and you were running on nothing but energy drinks and protein bars, and would bring you food and make sure you took the chance to sleep even for thirty minutes. When there would be a chance she could help you, she would. If you just needed copies to be made for a presentation, she would be the first one to rush to the store to make those hundreds of copies. She would sit there and listen to you practice your presentation and give you pointers, tell you where she thought you could be more emotional and more impactful.

She was your friend, and you were hers. You thought so, at least.

Something cold pressed against your cheek lightly and you opened your eyes. Bucky was in front of you, sitting on the coffee table with an ice pack in his hand, pressing it to your face.

”It’s not regenerative nanomeds, but ice brings down swelling,” he said softly.

You could only stare at him for a few moments before releasing a trembling breath. You watched as his eyes softened for you as your tears slipped down your face.

”What the hell just happened?” you whispered to him, letting out a soft sob.

”I don’t know, doll,” he answered honestly, shaking his head. “You took that hit like a champ though.”

A laugh slipped out in between your sobs, catching you off guard. The ice was moved away from your face, replaced by flesh and metal hands cupping both sides of your face. You looked at him, watching as his eyes slowly traced over every single one of your features, as if he was trying to burn you into his memory. Then, he slowly, gently, brushed his thumbs under your eyes, wiping away the salty tears that kept falling.

”You’re so pretty,” he said in a whisper. You frowned, a slight pout on your lips.

”I’m a mess, no doubt.” You were sure of it. With the tears and the condensation of the ice on your face, your makeup was ruined. Your mascara was running down your face now, and your eyeliner must have crumbed off by this point. “Flattery won’t get you anywhere right now, Sarge.”

”Hmm,” he hummed, tilting his head slightly. He looked at you, thoughtful. Bucky smiled at you. “It’s the truth though?”

The butterflies in your stomach hadn’t fully died, it seemed. No, they had a second life to them, and they were even stronger now. You could feel your pulse racing, and with how he was holding you, you were certain he could feel it under his pinky. There was no way that he didn’t know how badly he affected you and how much just his words and how he looked at you made you feel. In an instant, your perception changed. Maybe you weren’t a mess. You couldn’t look that bad, not when Bucky was staring at you like you were the most beautiful being in the universe, as if you had personally hung up all the stars in the sky and lit up every night for him.

”Swelling’s going down,” Bucky said, and pressed his metal hand against your cheek once more. The coolness of his hand felt better than the ice. You leaned into his touch, and you swore you could hear his breath hitch just slightly. Either way, he kept his hand there.

“How’d you get into my apartment, Sarge?” you asked, finally meeting his eyes. He paused, like he had just been caught doing something he shouldn’t be. You raised an eyebrow at him, and you decided you wanted to tease him a little. “Is this part of your job, too? Breaking into my apartment?”

“Hey, now. Why don’t you lock your door? I was knocking, like a gentleman, trying to pick up my girl for our planned date. I just happened to try the door, and it gave. That’s not my fault,” he quickly told you with a frown that you could immediately tell wasn’t real.

Ah. Leah didn’t lock the door when she entered.

Bitch.

You pushed her out of your head. You had other things to focus on right now. Like what he just said.

”Your girl?” you repeated the words to him, watching his brain freeze in real time. You never thought you would ever see this man with a blush on his face, but here he was. It was subtle, but it was there. A light dust of red against his cheeks, but his ears was where all the color was.

Bucky cleared his throat and stood up quickly, trying to create space between the two of you. You could only smile as he accidentally bumped into the coffee table behind him, miscalculating the amount of force and space he took around him.

”So,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “You can uh— You can get ready for our date here. Take your time. When you’re ready, we can head out. Unless, of course, you’re no longer up for it after all of that.”

You let out a laugh, shaking your head. “Where’s your bathroom, Bucky? Let me wash my face and touch up. We’ll go after I get dressed.”

next chapter

taglist: @iyskgd @falconxsoldier @1967barracuda @retrxgreyde @lemonpiegurll

[lasirenatarot]

What you need to hear right now.

/general messages, timeless/

🌟PAC READING🌟

Pick a perfume:

NOTE: some messages are quite specific, but might help someone who needs to hear them❤️ so keep that in mind, not everything will resonate for all, it is a general reading after all.

Pile 1:

Poison girl.

Cards that fell; 3 of pentacles, ace of pentacles, 4 of wands reversed. Gift, pleasure seekers cards from an oracle deck.

- I think you might loose a sum of money or you recently have lost some, another case may be that your financial situation might have not been the best recently and you kind of felt helpless? (Idk why im getting that). However, your financial situation has a huge potential for improvement as you may get a present (either an item or a sum of money from someone) which may ease your financial worries. This present may even help you enjoy your life more as you will not have the « weight » of worrying about the near future and how you’re gonna make ends meet.

- Another possible scenario instead of getting a gift may be getting a higher salary than anticipated which can help you make up for the recent times of struggle.

- be focused on whatever you are working on ( studies, job, sports etc.. ) DO NOT loose your focus, this may make you miss a big opportunity if you are not consistent. AND the opposite: if you continue on working, being consistent and putting in the effort you may receive better things/opportunities than you have even imagined. It all depends on you.

- for those who have recently met or have started having hopes of starting a relationship with a romantic interest: this person may not have the intetions of being in a serious relationship with you at this point of time. Be careful and seek your OWN best interest, not theirs.

Pile 2:

Baccarat rouge.

Cards: 10wands, 8wands, 5 wands reversed, judgement reversed.

- Sadly for this pile we are starting a bit negatively; you may have recently experienced a burnout or you are quite overworked due to having too much different stuff to do and take care of. What you need to know at this moment is that not everything is your responsibility: people’s actions, their poor life choices or how they live their life. You might be a person who (not exactly likes, but more of feels the need to help others at the expense of your own mental well being/emotions/mood even. You may simply just be used of being the “problem solver” & emotional trashbin for others) likes helping others, always be there for them and listen when they have struggles, but what you may not see is that by always being there for others u may create in them what I’ve read psychologists call “learned incompetence”. Basically by doing a task for someone (that was not yours to begin with) and letting them vent nonstop u’ve made them incompetent to deal with their own issues bc they may think you will always be there to fix it for them. Main message for this pile; prioritise yourself even if this means cutting ppl off because they drain you emotionally, not every person deserves explanation for how you decide to react to their behavior. Don’t be part of confrontations.

Extra message: beware of people who try to play “saints” in your life, such who have victim complex and always have a problem with everyone.

Everyone gets what they deserve in the end.

- After a tough emotional period your situation may quickly turn to positive and joyful. You may meet new friends.

Good luck🙏🏻

Pile 3:

Lost cherry.

- Very soon you might receive news you’ve been waiting for a long time. May be in a form of email/letter or a friend telling you. You may have felt like you’ve “lost yourself” a bit recently and after receiving these news you will definitely feel more at peace. Some may have been thru a breakup recently, you may finally start feeling better and more like yourself.

- you may meet a potential love interest soon or if you already have someone concrete in mind you communicate with (don’t be delulu having random crushes) you may actually begin a romantic relationship with them ( the energy I get is quite positive).

- you may need to follow “tradition” or already tried methods or consulting with a wise person if you need help with someting. (Or simply a tip)

Pile 4:

Hypnotic poison.

- You may reunite with an old friend soon. (Im particularly getting one you may know from school, but may not applicable for all)

- You may end or will end soon a chapter of your life in order to make space for better things to come.

- You may find understanding/help from someone you have not expected, while at the same time be dissapointed of someone you had trust in and expected to be there for you.

- No matter the circumstances try not to be too cocky and egoistical. You may currently be very motivated for success and have recently gained a lot of confidence due to something in your life. Keep yourself grounded and do not forget where you come from.

That was all from today’s PAC. I apologise for not including the name of the cards which fell for all the piles but I accidentally put them back in the deck and forgot to write them lol..Hope you enjoyed it tho!!

Photos are from pinterest; all credits to their respective owners.

Leave a comment/feedback if it resonated, share and follow for more.

- La Sirena💋

[slightlysaltysometimes]

latest jay post got me thinking: i went on these one depression meds and theyre the only ones who worked and i started eating more cus i felt well enough too but put on weight and immediately dropped them. or like im so busy working in the medical field and with adhd i just often dont have time, so imagine moving in with jay and he cooks for you and makes sure you now have a good eating diet instead of few snacks and ton of caffiene for the day so naturally you put on weight and he just is FROTHING at the mouth.

this ask has me frothing at the mouth. i’m going to marry you anon

reader starting to gain weight bc jay cooking for them…

(content warnings for weight gain, AFAB body but no pronouns or gender mentioned, dress used as a plot point, swearing, 2nd person POV, very suggestive near the end, pet names used: ma, sweetheart, baby)

Starting to live with Jason is a dream.

You thought he was a near perfect boyfriend before (well, at least perfect for you), but now?

He’s a househusband. You mean it in the most affectionate, positive way possible, but he genuinely insists on cooking and cleaning entirely by himself. You compromised with him by agreeing that you’ll put away clean laundry when it’s done, but he doesn’t allow you to finish any more domestic labor with your work keeping you so busy.

It’s been a long shift, being on your feet and working for almost 14 hours. So, getting home at 8:39 PM, you expected Jason to have just ordered some takeout or pizza for dinner due to your absence.

Your keys jingle as you unlock the front door to your shared apartment, yawning as you step inside and toe off your shoes. “Jayce, I’m home!” You call out, hanging up your keys and setting down your bag.

But he doesn’t come out of his office our your shared bedroom. He’s in the kitchen, an apron around his waist and a grin on his lips.

“Hey, ma.” He murmurs as you drape yourself over his back and nuzzle between his shoulderblades. “Long day?”

“You have no idea.” You grumble, pressing the smallest of kisses to his spine. “You’re cooking? You could’ve just ordered takeout earlier, you didn’t need to wait up for me.”

“I wanted to.” He replies, almost scoffing. “I’m not gonna let you eat a granola bar and call it dinner.”

You can nearly feel your heart melting in your chest.

“You really didn’t have to.” You reiterate. “But thank you.”

You two haven’t said ‘I love you’ yet, but you’re incredibly tempted. Jason is so easily spooked by love. So you show him with your actions, instead. The gentle kisses and caresses, the gentle nights and even softer mornings.

And by the way he cooks you your favorite foods after long shifts and hard days, you’d wager he’s doing the same.

———

Recently, you’ve noticed a small trend in your clothing.

Some of the smaller items you have are a little too tight lately. Plus, you can’t wear your bra on the tightest setting anymore, and your usual hole on your belt is a little too restrictive when you fasten it.

Jason is helping you clip your bra when he notices.

“Don’t you wear it on the other hook?” He murmurs, clipping it on the second. “I know I’ve helped you with this before.”

You hum, turning around and pecking his lips as a thanks for the assistance. “Yeah. I might be gaining some weight recently, it might be the new medication I’m on. Might need to do more cardio or something.”

Jason frowns. “You’re already doing more than you should. You are not gonna try and push yourself even more.”

You roll your eyes, huffing. “Whatever. I probably won’t gain much more weight, anyway.”

———

You were such a fool.

Over the next several months living with Jason, you’ve had to go up a clothing size, up a bra band size, and up a half-size in your shoes.

But every time you bring it up with Jason, he brushes it off, just reassuring you that it’s normal for hormones to cause weight fluctuations and that you’re perfect the way you are.

Finally, you’re trying on an old dress when you can’t quite fit into it, and you break. You can’t just let him ignore it anymore.

“Jason.” You sigh, calling him into your bedroom. “Come here.”

Jason is there in just a few seconds, grinning when he sees you in the dress. “Hey, baby. Feeling nostalgic or somethin’?”

You roll your eyes. “Try and zip it up.”

He quirks an eyebrow, but he does. And it doesn’t get any further than your mid-back.

“This fit me fine a few months ago.” You say, sounding equal parts confused and annoyed. “Loosely, even.”

The rest of your words fade into the foggy background as Jason’s mind runs wild.

You only notice when his hands move and he starts to unzip the dress, then slipping his hands into it and caressing your sides.

“You’re so beautiful.” He mutters, voice thick with… Something. “Look at you. You were so thin before, remember? You didn’t even eat two full meals a day. Maybe 1000 calories on a good day.”

“That’s an exaggeration.” You scoff.

Jason noses against your neck, mouthing at the soft, sensitive skin. “Barely. Fuck, you’re so pretty. Stunning. I love cookin’ for ya, you’re actually eatin’ right now. Your body is catching up. Your metabolism is slower ‘cause of your diet before, and now you’re actually getting the shit you need.”

You sigh, realizing he’s right. “Damn it.”

He frowns, biting gently at your shoulder. “This isn’t a ‘damn it’ moment, baby. Look at you.”

His hands start to wander. One caresses your stomach as the other wanders up to your chest. “Fuck. Sweetheart, haven’t you noticed? Your bra’s too small.”

You frown. “No it’s not, I just got a new one.”

He smirks, thumb ghosting over where your chest almost spills from the cups. “Yeah, it is. You went up a cup size.”

———

After that day, every time you tried to start a diet or new workout routine, he would vehemently disagree until you gave in.

This morning, though, he’s staring.

You’re in just your underwear, and he’s staring as you stretch and dig through your wardrobe for something to wear.

“You’re off today, right?” He asks, voice rough from sleep.

You don’t even hear him until he’s right behind you, his large hands on your hips.

“Yeah, I’m off.” You respond, suspiciously eyeing him when you turn around.

He’s shameless in his ogling, not even bothering to warn you before he picks you up effortlessly.

“Wha- Jason!” You exclaim, holding tight to his shoulders. “Put me down!”

He smiles wickedly, plopping you down on the bed and pulling you flush to him as he leans down and captures your lips with his.

“Fucking gorgeous.” He murmurs, biting your bottom lip and making you gasp. “You’re so soft. You know how hard it is to stop myself from practically groping you all the damn time? Your hips, your thighs, your stomach….”

You don’t even have the opportunity to think before he’s squeezing your hips and pulling back to look at you properly. “Can I have you, ma? Please? I’m hungry, baby, and I really want those pretty fuckin’ thighs around my head.”

These changes to your body are new, but maybe not as bad as you thought.

[krispdreemurr]

ok we're into the "ill post things behind read mores" phase of the spoiler policy. starting with some more coherent(?) thoughts on the whole thing

as you may have guessed from the two posts I couldn't resist making before the embargo ended, I am like... captivated by the whole carol and kris situation in the worst way. apologies to the Carol truthers who i doubted, but I don't think anyone called Kris being manipulated by her into trying to kidnap their mom and a cop, so,

it's just like. so. i had truly thought our presence in Kris' life was the worst thing, but it turns out we're the much more manageable source of overwhelming control.

(sidenote: hey remember all the reasons we already knew spamton triggered Kris? well now consider that spamton was being given phone calls by a mysterious entity w unknown orders and then when it got sick of him he was left to die,)

my current theory on what's up with all the Existentially Dubious Kris things and such btw is that to make room for the soul Kris' dark world self was deliberately killed or deleted or something, leaving a living body and mind that would need an external motivating force. kris can't go to the dark world without us because they don't exist there any more without us to form a dark self. this of course puts them in a worrying situation regarding the prophecy and someone possibly needing to die

but speaking of the prophecy and its ending um. susie. dear God Susie. emotional fucking Heart of the game. her being confronted with the horror aspects of deltarune over and over and every time being like Fuck You I Have My Friends was just beautiful. her relationship with notGerson was incredible. the healing arc and the piano arc and how those intersected in her learning it's ok for her to try and improve and get better even if someone else is better already... (did like Everyone pick the "if Susie plays too" option btw bc I haven't seen anyone say anything else fjkgkgk)

and god of course the Kris and Susie friendship. everything in church. them saving each other again and again tower climbing. the Susie award. kris leaping in against notnotGerson. sitting by the lake together after a long night. wuah

i also did warm up a lot to ralsei, yeah. it turning out that he was so smiley and benign and overprotective because he wanted every moment before the horror to be Nice for the two made him a lot more understandable to me. he's just fucking going through it. im glad kris hugs him willingly

the secrets this time... well. ch3 being "not applicable, but" because you do the whole weird route again but in video game form was pretty fucking ominous. the fact that freedom is now being even more strongly tied to the capacity to break things and do violence isn't ideal. i liked Susie coming in at the end and if Kris says they didn't have fun she's just like "so stop playing?" message to all weird route players: you don't gotta.

(and having seen the ch4 weird scenes I. may not. gotta)

also both the egg rooms were worrying in different ways. kris art therapy moments real

i'm just... so excited to see where things go from here. we already fought a fucking titan and won, what is even left to escalate. is kris going to be okay. is Susie gonna be okay.

and thank God I have only a year to wait!!!

[sillyjpeg]

BOOK OF BILL WEBSITE CHANGE

this contains MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE WEBSITE CHANGE. if you want to find shit urself, dont read this!!!

also this is part one of probably many bc i cant fit everything in here. curse you image limit

i wont be going over alot of the not as important stuff, but still go explore the website for it because i got alot of good laughs!

RIGHT OFF THE BAT. In the top right corner of the screen when the lightning flashes, there are words revealed carved in the wall. it reads: VALLIS CINERIS. when this is typed into the computer it gives this video:

haunting. really giving me analog horror vibes. wasnt sure what else to do with this though.

I also noticed that on the candle in the right side of the desk, there is a code

this is decoded used the rune code, and translates into CURSED. when put into the computer, this is what is given back:

interesting.

One of the first things me and my friends did was go through the main characters names. the most interesting one of these for me is definitely Stanley, but i want to go over Pacifica first because Stanleys is LONG.

When you type in Pacifica you get this:

I love her signature btw. BUT if you type in Platinum Paz, you get somethin very, very interesting.

This may not be in the right order so forgive me, but at the end of that code, if you use a shift decoder (im so smart sue me)

it says: "STAY AWAY FROM HER CIPHER. SHE HAS THE PROTECTION OF THE LUMBERFOLKS SPIRITS"

pacificas character development has always been special to me, and this was honestly chilling. in the book of bill we see that she has nightmares about the lumberjack, and this shows how much guilt she carries. her finally finding her peace with what happened made me smile :)

but as nice and heartwarming as this is, were moving on to STANLEY PINES! and oh BOY are the stanley lovers having a field day. so first of all, if you type in Stanley, it will take you to a few different links. including gold chains, brass knuckles, an 8 ball cane, a fez, and a colonel neck tie. funny right? if you keep entering his name, this pops up:

Below this is a bunch of things with the label of being shameful. one of them is very interesting but im gonna put some lighter stuff first for the sillies.

i need alex to show us the photos from the hunky drifters catalogue alex can you hear me please i mean WHO SAID THATTTT WHO SAID THATTTTTT

ALSO NO ONE COMING TO HIS FAKE FUNERAL EXCEPT HIS MOM :( she loved her little free spirit stanley

ALSO- him stripping for flour in Tijuana, again, i need photographic evidence.

his ex wives list also made me giggle. he was MARRIED TO OLD GOLDIE????? also Marilyn being Eda made me giggle, i love the fact that they got married at some point. get them back together please. also stan having smaller hands than ford and being self-conscious about it stan i love you mwah mwah mwah

ALSO FILBRICK TRYING TO SELL STAN FOR GETTIN AN F- PLEASE

anyways now onto the section at the bottom of the Wheel of Shame page!

Its titled : HOW HE BEAT ME. im not adding a photo bc ur guy is running out of room :(

you have to click on this repeatedly to get anything good out of it, so i took the liberty of milking it for all it had!!! i didnt take screenshots of everything because some of it was redundant, but here are the interesting and or funny bits:

just reiterating, this is not all thats in there, im just putting parts that stood out to me. please take the time to go through all this urself bc its a TREAT.

now into the crazier stuff

hes obviously having some sort of breakdown, just like we see at the end of the book of bill. the last page i decoded myself, and i got this using all the different decoders:

"THROUGH LQS SFSE CN EVERYONE IVE EVER"

for "LQS SFSE CN" i used the original bill cipher code, and im not sure why it gave me this. a smarter, better decoder probably has the answer.

i can theorize a few different things on what this could possibly mean even with it not being all decoded. the one that comes to mind is "I can still see through everyone ive ever met" maybe knowing too much? but without the middle part decoded i cant say much. if you have the solution for this please leave a comment as any help would be greatly appreciated. this all did drop a few hours ago so i doubt many people are working on decoding all this.

UPDATE!! I TRANSLATED IT WRONG.

IT SAYS “THROUGH THE EYES OF EVERYONE IVE EVER”

this makes alot more sense. bill can see through others eyes so it most likely is refering too how he possesses people and sees through their eyes. In the book of bill he shows how angry he is having to watch the Pines family be happy.

It says that when he closes his eye, he can still see through the eyes of everyone hes ever…possesed? probably. So can Bill still see through Ford, or maybe Dipper, and he cant turn it off. Whenever he closes his eyes he is haunted by the happy life he failed to destroy. To see through their eyes.

This poem using gambling as a way to describe Stan's life choices really struck me. the more i thought on it the more it made sense. he gambled that Ford's project would probably still work, gambled with all of his sham products. His entire life has been a betting game. The most interesting thing about all this is the end of the poem. It reads

"IM STILL ON YOUR MIND"

this has been a theory for awhile in the gravity falls community that if stan got back all his memories, including ones about bill, wouldnt bill come back? for me this confirms the theory, and opens up a whole new can of worms which i will talk about later.

I have reached my image and video limit, but expect more posts!

stay weird yall :)

[haza1ll]

animation for THE NEON VOIDD BABYYYY

this post is for @sugarpasteltmnt

‼️‼️MEGA YAPPING AHEAD PLEASE BEWARE‼️‼️

this might end up being really long and rambly and sappy but maybe not who knows.( it was) (and also featuring numerous spelling errors i am way too tired to fix and i am not re reading what i just wrote) SO. yknow how when chap idek..25(?) came out and i was all like “yeah so i made this animation for TNV and ill drop it when the fic ends” in your ask box? so. I FINISHED IT RAHHH. technically it has been finished since i sent that ask but ohhh my goodness did it need polishing. i haven’t animated in 4 years before that and omg it felt so good getting back into it but IDFK SOMETHING IS STILL NOT UP TO MY STANDARDS. i feel like i could have done so much more with it and i deffo wanted to but as soon as i told myself “oh yeah this is basically done” art block literally sucker punched me in the gut out of NOWHERE. I COULD NOT PICK UP MY I PAD. I COULD NOT DRAW. I WOULD STARE AT THE WIP ANIMATION AND BE UPSET BC I DDINT WANNA WORK ON IT AHH. that goes with saying. i kept having this thought in the back of my head “you need to finish it. you have a wip sitting. finish it. go do it. what are you doing are you STARTING ANOTHER PROJECT??? anddd yeah i got super distracted with other stuff and other projects and then i started spending my free time rewatching 2012 turtles and omg this summer has been a mess. i have all the free time in the world and i choose to be the least productive as possible with it even though i have a job that lets me literally sit on my phone and do whatever i want if no one is there. (i’ve brought my switch to work numerous times ☠️) what i was trying to get at is the fact that TNV has inspired a lot of the old me to come back and i lowk missed her. i really missed the point in all those words up there but im here now so whatever. BUT. TNV made me make a tumblr account, i got back in to animation AND digital art in general, got back into longfics that are ongoing, AND it also helped kickstart ideas for writing. i’ve got so many stories now!! you are such an inspirational person pastels i just- every time i read a new chapter of yours it made me wanna go get up and do something. i wanted to create something. because at the end of each chapter, i would think- “woah. a person out there just wrote this. they just sat down one day and committed. i wanna do that” so i did that. just huge thank you and shoutout to you pastel. like damn. idk no words from me here. just a bunch of platonic hugs and kisses and thankyouthankyouthsnkuou for this lovely heart wrenching but also sweet story. i love this fandom (tmnt) so SO much and i think it’s so awesome how interactive you are with your own personal NV fans. crazy how we’re all here because of a bunch of turtles. 

STUFF ABOUT THE ANIMATION:

okay i really like to talk and if you let me, i will run my mouth. this is the internet so im gonna do just that. so more words for you to read 😁. AHEM. so like i stated before in the genuinely scary mess of words up there, i haven’t touched animation in a while, like, 4 years a while. yes i’ve done digital art here and there along the years, i haven’t been doing it nearly as much as i need to to use some programs to their full potential. layers are still confusing, and don’t even get me started on multiply and all that jazz. shading never comes out right on digital for me, i gotta work that one out. so, for this animation, i decided to go with a very rough style. nothing needed to be perfect, i just wanted to live my little life of trying to experiment with a bunch of different things all at once in one short animatic. I wanted to do that little ball bounce thing all animation artists start with (i kinda included that with the key). i also wanted to have a go at lip sync (no hate it was my first time) and also timing the animation with the music. i wanted to see how smoothly i could move a figure in and out of and out of the screen as well, which honestly, i think that part might be my favorite. i think i did a good job, and thats what matters. the animation itself lost a bunch of quality on importing it- no clue how it happened but now the ending is grainy af. ignore that pls lol- but it was sitting in my flipaclip for god, i dont even know, 3 months now? i kept going back and forth on if i wanted to share it or not, so im throwing it to the wolves and i guess whatrver happrns happens and im good with that. yay. im actually rrwlly tired now sooo *leaves this absolute pile of words with a video attached at your feet and stumbles away quickly*

also i’ve genuinely never posted anything so i’m learning how to use tumblr too ☠️

[reachouttouchfaith]

PHANNIES: IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR DISABLED/VULNERABLE COMRADES, PLEASE MASK AT THE TOUR!

i know a lot of us here have various disabilities, illnesses and intersections and so it is very important for us to be masking when we go to this tour (and everywhere)! here is a great guide (link if you don’t have twitter) as to why you should still mask. it can be expensive, but chances are you can find a local mask bloc or obtain some from a friend! (link to a mask buying guide) when i go in november i will try to bring extra masks because this is important to me but i always feel like im forcing it on people. the more people are masking, the more effective it is and the more safe the space becomes. guys! covid is not over just because we have stopped seeing the numbers on it. large events like these have the possibility to become super spreaders and even effect people who were not at the event. the sheer level of harm long covid can cause to your body is being compared to aids. our governments do not care and we must protect ourselves- this is the best and easiest way to do it! there is also the growing threat of h5n1, monkey pox, rpv etc. especially those of you who are going to many tour stops and traveling a lot- PLEASE mask! i plan to make this my prerogative the entire tour until it catches on so thanks for reading and please rb😄

edit: for those talking about taking ur mask off for m&g id honestly not recommend it bc dnp are literally gonna travel the world and inevitably be sick when they meet you or have just been sick- and also you could get them sick w something their bodies may not be prepared for! i get wanting your face to be in it but i feel the idea of masks ruining pictures kinda just sets us back a little idk i personally like the reminder i was putting the effort in. but it’s your life do whatever

[moldy-flowers]

Izuna x Tobirama au in which Izuna or Tobirama is kidnapped by the others clan and held captive but Tobirama slowly comes to the horrifying realisation that izuna is a yapper

(RELATED TO THIS POST IN WHICH I TALK ABOUT AN HC THAT ALL UCHIHAS ARE SECRETLY YAPPERS BUT ONLY TO LIKE, ONE PERSON)

See, now Tobirama doesn't know about the whole "there's only one person they'll be comfortable yapping to" and he thinks that this may be some weird tactic to get information out of him.

Like Tobirama, kidnapped in enemy territory. He's thinking through every situation possible. He could get out. Except someone with equal power to him just walked through the door, he closes his eyes and looks away, as long as he's looking away they can't get him. He knows who he is just by the way he walks, the way he breathes and the way his heart beats.

Ba-bum, Ba-dum.

He stops approximately a metre away from him.

Ba-bum, Ba-dum.

He crouches down, getting eye-level with Tobirama.

Ba-bum, Ba-dum.

Tobirama would not submit. No matter the torture he be put through by the Uchiha before him. He had danced with swords in the midst of the evanescent flames with Izuna, he felt the burn of the fire and the cool sweat dripping down his temple. He knew all of that Bastards tricks, how to counter them and how to block them.

Ba-dum, Badum.

Izuna opened his mouth to speak, pausing for a short moment to collect his thoughts. 'I will not yield, I will not yield,' Tobirama chanted to himself silently, mind racing he of every angle he could go at this. He knew Izuna well enough to know what his counter would be. But he knew Izuna would be thinking of ways to counter his counter attack.

"Do you know the breed of dog that's native to the mountains in the East? The small ones with the fluffy coat."

Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum.

"...What?"

Oops went on a bit of a writing spree whoopsie daisy's!!!!

But ANYWAYS you get the jist. Tobirama sits there really really confused while Izuna talks his ear off. Like Izuna cannot physically control himself from the yaps. Like their convos are 25% Izuna angrily insulting Tobirama for some sort of information and 25% is him Snarkily yapping about anything that interests him and 50% willing him to open his eyes in silence, like way to close to Tobirama's face. (It's a scare tactic, obviously!!)

Tobirama is originally upset confused and pissed off till Izuna brings up Madara. Tobirama is like "This is my chance im gonna learn all their weaknesses" Izuna complains about how Madara idk is way too strict with routines or something and Izuna was just a little tiny itsy bitsy bit late and he got chewed out. Its not like Izuna did it on purpose‼️ Usually he's very punctual (kind of) but a bunch of suitors kept bothering him‼️ oh uhmm btw bc he's like 19-20 (he was like 24 when he died i think) now and bunch of people of the clan want to get married to him bc Madara has made it clear he won't be taking any wives and threw them all on Izuna, anyways isn't it so rude for Madara to be mad at that like its his fault anyways that Izunas late and omg you'll never guess what he said during training too.

So Tobirama has technically picked up some good information but not really like what he was expecting? He knew that he'd have to read between the lines to try and actually get any actual info that would help him but he just really doesnt know what to do with what he was told. Like he didn't want to know that Madara keeps getting into arguments with the lady that trades fruits in the North East East centre of the Uchiha district over how 1 watermelon should not cost 26 apples. But uhh... its nice to know??

At some point Izuna storms into the room and yells at Tobirama cause Izuna assumes that Tobirama has used that weird idiot fucked up brain of his to make a jutsu that forces Izuna to yap. Like, Izuna can be a little yappy sometimes but it's never this bad and NEVER to a prisoner what did that bastard do to him‼️‼️

This whole time Tobirama actually assumed that it was some stupid tactic to make him talk, but apparently Izuna is under as much stress as he is. Well, not really but he's in an amount of stress that is not insubstantial

I cant think of anything else for this one someone do it for me!!!!

OR if we go the Senju kidnapped Izuna route it could just be Tobirama trying to get information from Izuna and all Izuna will talk about is random bullshit that's kind of relevant and maybe a little helpful but like only really specifically. Like the Senju are totally prepared to fight that one Uchiha with the three ponytails who snores, not loud, but really squeaky like.

They think Izuna is just immune to intimidating tactics but in all reality they're working, but working in a way that he's like "If I'm being interrogated cruely here then what's happening to the Uchiha what if they're all dead omg oh no omg" he just misses his home and he doesn't know if Madara or the clan is okay without him there he is literally in the worst state of his life and when hes anxious he starts to yap and its especially bad when he's with Tobirama. Like the words are just flowing out neither he nor Tobirama can stop it. Like at some point Tobirama isn't even trying to use scare tactics anymore he just sits there and listens to Izuna anxiously waffle about literally everything. Like just when Tobirama thinks he has spoken about literally everything that can be spoken about but somehow Izuna just keeps talking.

And like at some point Izunas throat is a little raw bc he has been speaking non stop for like two weeks and he's trying desperately to keep quiet, he's like spaced out multiple times and not realised what he's been saying for all he knows he's told Tobirama all of his clans secrets and hes getting more and more anxious and just when Izuna manages to stop his 1 hour rant about the bird that used to follow him around and shit on his food there's just like a minute of silence that Izuna desperately wants to fill with the rest of the story about the bird (He still has yet to tell Tobirama about the bird somehow projectile shitting onto lamb he had yet to trade, but bc of the crap on the meat nobody would take it and he swears he heard that bird laughing he KNOWS it!!!!) And he's tweaking trying to keep quiet, till suddenly Tobirama starts talking!! He's lowered his guards!!

Ofc Tobirama isn't going to like tell Izuna all of the clan secrets, but he tells a short tale about Hashirama gambling his shoes away to a six year old child and having to walk home shamefully while Tobirama stared on in silence. Izuna, who has only seen Hashirama in the most serious of circumstances, almost crys from laughter (his vocal cords are DYING) Izuna, after getting a drink of water then tells a story about Madara getting a squirrel tangled in his hair, and not noticing the crying critter for about 5 hours. After this event there was then a game among clansmen, "How many things can we put in Madaras hair before he notices" Tobirama thinks this is hilarious of course, and the both of them bond over their brothers being absolute fucking idiots.

And in like a meeting where everyone wants to know what information Tobirama is getting, and he, who is still on a high after sharing a good laugh with his prisoner, tells everyone about the game. Now- they have word that there will be a battle in the land of ice quite soon, (why? I don't know why are you asking me) and Hashirama feels all left out,,, he wants to stuff random crap into Madaras hair too!!!!

Madara, of course, is so not happy about this WHERE the hell is his brother he is tweaking the fuck out and this battle will be the one where Hashirama dies. The clan has literally been in the worst panic ever since ever and nobody is okay. Even the mean fruit lady looked upset!! They have seventeen different invasion plans and all of them are gory and very sort of glass half empty situation. Like everyone genuinely believes Izuna is either dead or dying and has been traumatized on every level.

Hashirama however has different plans (apart from the plans to put feathers in Madaras hair) see he's a smart lad and he's noticed that Tobirama is a lot more chipper than he used to be. And being the good brother is, he spies on them both. And it was heartwarming!! I mean it was a little mortifying hearing his beloved brother and Izuna laugh at the time Hashirama tried to cut his own bangs and absolutely tear him to shreds but after he got over that he was absolutely giddy!! They're just like Him and Madara were back then frfr!! This could be their chance for peace!!! I mean, out of all of them Izuna was the one who was the most against a peace treaty!!! He doesnt seem too against it now seeing as he's comfortable enough to have general banter with Tobirama!!! Oh well they're quiet now, wait no they're not, holy shit are they making out wait what no maybe its not like him and Madara uh oh maybe he should leave this feels a little private um. Uh..

I don't really want to think of the details on how Izuna actually gets out cause that sounds boring so like Hashirama probably assured Madara all is well or whatever and said some talk-no-jutsu shit to calm Madara down and bring him to some peace grounds or something and get Tobirama to get Izuna back. Which Tobirama doesn't want to do but despite Tobirama being funny and interesting and so cool Izuna really really wants to see his brother and clan mates again and he will chew through Tobirama if it means getting home.

Anyway I'm thinking the war ends with like Izuna getting sent from the Uchiha to marry Tobirama as like a peace offering or smth. The Uchiha are like really sympathetic towards Izuna like "Oh we're so sorry it had to be you this must be so hard for you I saw how you were like totally interested in the women of the clan" and Izunas like "Ikrrr its so terrible I'm sooo totally sorry i couldn't marry any of the girls of the clan boooo :("

Happy ending, TobiIzu are together, Izuna can yap freely, bc of the newly opened trade paths the price of watermelons has lowered to 14 apples, Madara has multiple caterpillars in his hair and almost all of both of the clans have lost respect for Madara and Hashirama and now treat them as those silly guys and not powerful political figures.