#and it genuinely breaks my heart that we may never see it play out the way DJenks intended

[xoxoemynn]

Really missing the gay pirates tonight, lads (gn).

I've got nothing clever or meaningful to say.

I just really miss them and wish we knew we'd be getting them back.

[stop4death]

confessions

note: i'm not a good writer i apologize in advance. but i have challengers brain rot and can't stop thinking about it so i had to write this. thinking about writing fem!reader x tashi next (reader is lowkey in love with tashi as well in this one in my mind) lmk if u like this and maybe i will

pairing: stanford!art donaldson x fem!stanford!reader

summary: since you started at stanford, you’ve been avoiding your close high school friend, art, and you’re pretty sure he’s been avoiding you, too. when he shows up to the tennis courts while you’re playing with your roommate and asks to talk, some confessions are made.

warnings: nsfw 18+ (MDNI!), smut, sub!art donaldson, soft dom!reader, angst, fluff, grinding, hand job, praise, aftercare (reader loves art sm), art is pathetic (in a good way i love him), please lmk if i forgot anything

word count: 1.9k

posted: may 27th 2024

It’s been a little over a month since you started at Stanford. With the stress of all your classes, homework, club meetings, and private out-of-season training for tennis, it feels like you can never catch a break. To make things even worse, you’ve been actively avoiding your close high school friend, Art. You promised each other you’d stick together at school while your best friend, Tashi, and her boyfriend, Art’s best friend, Patrick, are touring. Now, you haven’t heard from him, and haven’t tried to reach out to him either. When your roommate found out you’re a tennis player, she asked if you’d be willing to teach her how to play. You happily agreed, so you’ve been going down to the courts and playing with her once a week. Today, your heart jumped out of your chest and you almost dropped your racket when you were teaching your roommate how to backhand and Art walked in, sitting down in the stands.

“You okay?” your roommate asks, concerned by your sudden change in demeanor. She looks back to where you were looking and sees Art, then turns back to you confused.

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine” you say unconvincingly, and serve the ball. She doesn’t press any further, so you continue with the lesson, trying to ignore the knot in your stomach.

You can’t help but keep glancing up at Art. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since he got there. Once you finish up her lesson, you say goodbye to your roommate and nervously walk up to the stands where Art is sitting.

“Hi.” you say softly, scratching at your palm anxiously.

“Hi. How have you been?” he asks, seemingly genuine.

“Um… I-I’ve been good. How about you?” you stutter, your heart racing.

“Can we talk?”

“Yeah, sure.” you sit down next to him, but he shakes his head.

“Privately?” he looks around at the few people who are on the tennis courts, including your roommate who’s still slowly packing up her bag and glancing up at you confoundedly.

The knot in your stomach twists even tighter, but you nod your head in agreement, standing up. You follow him out of the tennis courts and towards one of the dorm buildings. He unlocks a door on the first floor, gesturing for you to enter. As you walk into your friend’s dorm room for the first time, you look around. Your lips curve up slightly and you feel a warmth in your chest when you notice a photo of yourself with Art on a wall of photos of his friends and family. Your apprehensive look returns when you turn back towards the door as he shuts it behind him, standing awkwardly in the middle of his room. You’ve never been a fan of confrontation, but you should have prepared for it when you decided to completely ghost one of your best friends with no explanation.

“You can sit down, you know.” he says casually.

You glance between his desk and his bed, ultimately opting for the desk chair. You face the chair out away from the desk and sit down. He sits down on his bed, facing you.

“Nice room.” you say awkwardly, desperate to break the uncomfortable silence.

“Why did you stop talking to me?” he says plainly. You suddenly feel like you might vomit at any second. You would rather be six feet underground than in Art’s dorm room having this conversation right now.

“I didn’t mean to, I’ve just… been so busy with classes and clubs and training I guess I haven’t gotten the chance to text you.” you lie. And he sees right through it.

“Can you be serious… Why haven’t you talked to me since we got here?”

You take a deep breath, and look down at your hands. Trying to think of any other way you can stretch the truth and not have to tell him what you’re about to tell him, but your mind has gone blank. You look back up at him, realizing you have no choice but to be honest.

“Art I-” you try to find the words, your heart racing even faster. “I, um… back in high school, I had this… huge crush on you." Your cheeks flush with embarrassment as you stutter through the confession you've held onto for years, and you continue awkwardly, “And I knew you had a thing for Tashi, and it hurt because obviously who could ever compete with Tashi. She’s literally perfect. So over the summer, like a week before school started, Tashi and I were drunk and I decided to block your number. I thought maybe it would help me move on, start fresh, you know? I didn't want to keep being just friends and feeling, I don't know, awkward around you." You shift uncomfortably, the weight of your words heavy on your shoulders. "Honestly, I forgot I even did it until now. I thought maybe you were avoiding me, too, or… I don't know, I guess I just didn't think it through. I'm sorry, Art. If you don't hate me now, could we maybe try being friends again? I've moved past that crush, I promise. I won’t let it get in the way again.”

You try to make the last part sound as convincing as possible. You don’t think you’ll ever be over your crush on Art. He just sits there and listens as you talk. His expression is unreadable, and for a moment, you fear you've said too much. You look down again, fearing his response.

“Why didn’t you tell me before… that you had a crush on me?”

“Cause you liked Tashi. Like everyone else.”

“Tashi was always just a friend to me. I liked you.”

You look at him as if he must be lying, searching for any hint of irony in his tone or facial expression.

“I still do.” he says softly, and the knot in your stomach is replaced with butterflies.

You stand up from the chair, and Art looks at you with concern, thinking you’re about to walk out. You take a few steps forward and sit down next to him on his bed, your knees brushing together.

“I still like you, too.” you whisper and put a hand on his cheek. You slowly lean closer to him, and press your lips against his. His lips are soft and they taste of cigarettes and watermelon lime ChapStick, his favorite. You’ve dreamed about this taste for years. He places a hand on your thigh, deepening the kiss. You quickly move to straddle his lap. Your hands twist in his soft strawberry blond hair as you kiss him sloppily, as if you were trying to consume him. You feel his erection growing under you and grind your hips down against him, making him moan softly into the kiss. You tug at the hem of his shirt and he quickly removes it, tossing it carelessly across the room, then smashes his lips back against yours hungrily. His hand moves up your thigh to the waistband of your skirt.

“So impatient.” you say with a smirk, moving your head down to kiss his neck and taking his hand in yours, moving it away from your waistband. He whimpers at the feeling of you sucking and nibbling gently on his neck. You kiss up his neck and jawline then back to his lips quickly before pulling away. You move off his lap and sit further back on his bed, spreading your legs slightly and patting the space between them.

“Come sit here.”

He looks at you a bit confused, but he obeys. He sits between your legs on the bed, his back to you. You move your hands slowly over his arms and chest, kissing his neck from behind, bringing back the sweet sounds of his whimpering. He closes his eyes and leans his head back on your shoulder, giving you better access to his neck. He moans softly, reveling in the feeling of your lips and hands on him. You tease him, moving your hand slowly down his abdomen and stopping just before his waistband, then moving back up slowly. You do this a few times before he can’t take it anymore and his hips buck upwards, begging for your touch.

“Such a pretty boy… you want me to touch you?” you tease, speaking softly against his neck and driving him insane. He whimpers, nodding his head eagerly.

“Use your words.” you whisper in his ear. His hips buck up again, a needy whine escaping his lips.

“Please,” he gasps out, his voice soft and needy, “please touch me, I want you so bad.”

You smirk and move your hands to the waistband of his pants, tugging down gently. He wastes no time pulling his pants and boxers off in one quick movement.

“Good boy.” you say softly, sliding your hand down his abdomen. A strangled moan leaves his lips as you wrap your hand around his cock and start to stroke him. His hips jerk up, desperate for more friction.

“Fuck” he gasps out, his voice a husky whisper. You continue to stroke him slowly, your other hand wandering over his chest and abs, kissing his neck occasionally.

“Love hearing your moans… such a good boy for me.” you say softly in his ear. He can’t contain his whimpers as you continue.

“Feels… so good.” he chokes out through moans, leaning his head back on your shoulder again. He lets out a low moan as you kiss his neck again, panting heavily.

“Such a good boy.” you emphasize, playing with his hair with your other hand.

“Yes, I am… such a good boy for you.”

You can tell that he’s close to the edge.

“You gonna cum for me, baby?”

“Yes… yes.” he gasps, his eyes squeezed shut as he breathes heavily. You stroke faster now, and he lets out a loud moan as he finally lets go, cumming hard on your hand. He pants heavily as he leans back against you, trying to catch his breath. “Thank you.”

You move your hand up to your mouth, licking some of his cum off and swallowing it, then moving your hand to his mouth. He knows exactly what you’re asking of him. His breath hitches at the sight, and he leans forward to lick the rest of his cum off your hand. He swallows then closes his eyes and leans his head back against your shoulder.

“You did so good for me, angel. My good boy.” you wrap your arms around him, holding him close and rubbing his stomach as he recovers. He lets out a contented sigh as he leans back into you further, his body still trembling slightly. He puts his arms over yours, holding onto you tightly as he catches his breath. You let him lean on you for a few more minutes, still rubbing his stomach, before the two of you lay down, you still holding him from behind. He turns over to face you, his lips curling into a smile. You smile back at him and put a hand on his cheek, stroking it gently.

“I missed you so much. Please, don’t ever leave me again.”

His words are like a shot to the heart. You still feel like a horrible person for the way you hurt him, but one thing about Art is he could never hate you, no matter what you do. You pull him close, stroking his hair gently as you whisper, “I won’t. Ever. I promise.”

[thranduel]

some facts about astarion that i find very cute/meaningful :)

i wanted to share this so more people can learn about him and appreciate who he is deep down, behind the mask he wears. before cazador turned him, he was just like any other person; he had hobbies, passions and emotions. those things are still there, but they’re just hidden amidst all the darkness. he was so young when he first turned that he barely had a chance to enjoy life or figure himself out. so many people miss out on the complexity of his character due to only focusing on his physical appearance or labelling him as a cruel villain, but in order to see that he’s so much more than that and he’s capable of growing as a person, all you need to do is show him a bit of love!

- he loves embroidery and poetry

- he approves when you pet the owlbear cub because most people view it as a monster (the same way people have always viewed him). it’s like he finds comfort in the fact that you can love and care for something that most people are afraid of, and it gives him hope that you may feel the same way about him too

- if you put a flower on his grave, he smiles and says "cute"

- he comes up to you in camp just to thank you and tell you how grateful he is that you allowed him to make his own decision (after you defend him and don't force him to drink the drow's blood) because he is so used to being told what to do and he was forced to use his body for so many years

- in that same scene, he will hold your hand whether you choose to stay in a romance with him or be friends instead, because he loves and appreciates you no matter what, and any sort of relationship with you is so important and meaningful to him

- if you try to romance karlach and astarion at the same time, he tells you to choose karlach over him, even if he loves you and it hurts him to do so, because he can see that karlach loves you too. he says that normally an arrangement would work for him, but after everything karlach has been through and how fragile her heart is already, he doesn’t want to get in the way or see her hurt

- if you try to romance halsin and astarion at the same time, he just wants you to do what makes you happy, even though you can tell it hurts him if you choose halsin. he’s also worried that you’re unhappy because he hasn’t slept with you (he should never have to worry about that ☹️), so he doesn’t want to stop you from enjoying yourself. in this situation and the one with karlach, you can see that there are moments where he puts others before himself and thinks about their feelings more than his own

- if you’re playing as the dark urge and you’re trying to resist it, he is so incredibly comforting and tries to give you strength and encouragement. one of my favourite astarion lines is this: “you’re not alone in this, none of us are.”

some more lines that i love:

“i don’t hate you. because this is not you. but whatever it is, you’ll get through it. and i’ll be here to make sure you do.”

“whatever it is that’s controlling you, we can fight it. i know that better than anyone.”

“this thing won’t have you. it won’t win.”

“easy now, darling. you’ve got this. and i’ve got you.”

- when you try to break up with him because you’re transforming into a mindflayer and you tell him you’re becoming something horrible, he gets so upset that you would even think that way and tells you that you’re wonderful and he doesn’t care about what you look like. then he says he would get more stares walking down a street than you to try and make you feel better

- if you love and care for him and remind him that there is still good out there, he genuinely wants to grow, be a better person and break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago

- he approves when you help people that are considered outcasts or "freaks" because he has felt that way too

- he risked his life and got punished for letting a man go instead of luring him back to cazador because it’s implied he cared about him in some way and he couldn't hurt him (not entirely sure about this one, this is just how i interpreted it based on his voice and mannerisms when he was talking about him)

- he approves when you give an orphaned child food (act 3)

- he becomes vulnerable, honest and more gentle with you once you start treating him like a person, because for the first time in his life, he actually feels safe with someone

- he's extremely insecure despite the mask he wears at the beginning of the game and he doesn't believe he is capable of being genuinely loved for who he is as a person. when you get close to him and tell him you care for him and give him a hug, he is taken aback at first, but then he believes you and hugs you back. also, when you're playing as the dark urge, you get this line: "you like him for more than his looks, but he will never believe that." this is proof that astarion is so used to being reduced to his physical appearance after what he was forced to do for so many years, and he thinks that's the only reason why people like him. he struggles with intimacy and forming strong emotional bonds, so that's why it makes your relationship with him even more meaningful when he realises that you truly do love him for who he is, not just for his looks and body

- when the drow you met at moonrise shows up in act 3 and tries to make you drink something, astarion tells you to say no, because the only thing she's offering is pain and he doesn't want to see you hurt

- if you romance him, stop him from doing the ritual and help him defeat cazador, he tells you that you are the only person he's ever truly cared for

- if you defeat cazador without him and tell him you just wanted to protect him, he gets upset at first because you left him behind without telling him and he wanted to take revenge himself, but then he becomes understanding and says “maybe this is what’s best? the kind of power that ritual offered could ruin a person. even me.” this shows how much he’s grown and matured as a person and he’s aware of the consequences of too much power. the scene also ends with him telling you that he’s grateful for something that you did to help him (again).

- he becomes more self-aware, straightforward and honest over time and he doesn’t pretend like he’s perfect. he tells you that you were by his side through all the bloodlust and pain and misery, despite all of his flaws and mistakes. you remained patient with him and trusted him even though it was an objectively stupid thing to do, but he is so grateful for it because you believed he could become a better person (and he did)

- this is sad but he remembers some of the names of the people he had to lure back to cazador and even the memories he shared with them. you can see this during the scene with sebastian, and it’s clear that he actually cared about him (not sure how many situations were like this, but there was definitely more than one)

- if you say “i’m sorry we couldn’t save the other vampire spawn”, he says:

“we could have tried. we could have given them the same chance i had. i was able to go out into the world and make better choices. to go against my nature and become more than a blood-sucking monster. maybe they would have done the same. or maybe not - but did we have the right to take that choice away from them?”

this scene shows how much astarion has grown and how compassionate and empathetic he can be towards others. he understood what it felt like to have his own freedom taken away while cazador made all his decisions for him, so he didn’t want to put the other vampire spawn through that too (especially because he still feels so guilty for luring them there in the first place)

- if you romance him and he stays as a vampire spawn and you choose to help him look for a cure so he can stand in the sun again, this is revealed during the epilogue scene:

“one night, he tells you that these last six months of happy memories are the counterweight to two hundred years of misery.”

he’s finally truly happy and free, and the short time he’s spent with you is already so incredibly powerful and important to him. being with you has positively impacted his life in such a massive way that it makes all those centuries of pain and misery feel so much smaller

- another sweet line from astarion during the epilogue scene after he tells you to go catch up with your other friends and see how they’re doing:

“i’ll be here when you’re ready. i’ll always be here, my love.”

THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND GROWTH 😭🫶🏼 he’s become so kind, loving, respectful, genuine and sincere. i’m so proud of him 🥹

[kryannoy]

Hii! Can we have another yandere Andrew graves x reader?

genre: (i don't know what to call this)

character: yandere!andrew graves x reader

warnings: manipulation, gaslighting, andrew traumatizing/scaring the reader, obsessive, possessive

He's cruel. So cruel.

But he loves you madly. Dearly.

And he wants you only for himself. No one can get you.

And the only way to make sure you understand that, is by breaking your heart and rebuilding it himself.

You and Andrew have been friends for quite some time now. In high school, he was the quiet kid with few friends and you were you, just living your life. He would never have noticed you if it weren't for when you made him realize that some kids were bullying him with running a few errands for them. It opened his eyes when you smacked him with a statement; "You know they're just using you to their advantage."

Call him dumb, yes, but he sincerely thought they were just asking for help. He didn't mind it and maybe that's because he's so used to running errands for his younger sister, despite being the older sibling.

Ever since that day, he stopped accepting those "helps" and you decided to approach him more often. You both talked so much and learned so much of each other that he fell in love with you without you realizing. Andrew has always been a chill and nonchalant guy so you often overlook his emotions, not including the times that he can be sassy. But his demeanor makes it easy to talk to and you enjoyed it.

When you started to hang out with Andrew, some of the kids took it as you were showing pity to him. Or you approached him with a trick up your sleeve. Be it all those rumours, Andrew didn't care. He knows you're not that kind of person from all your conversations, your behavior, your gestures. They were all genuine.

After you both graduated high school, he still wanted to keep in touch and you didn't mind. Both of you meet up at your free time and when college starts, he 'coincidentally' got into the same university as you. And how excited was he to see you and the thought of seeing you every single day.

But how awfully mad was he to find out you liked some guy at your part-time workplace.

Andrew tried to keep you from coming to work, or convince you that guy is just another flirty guy who's playing with your feelings. But of course, his efforts went in vain as you somehow landed a date with your crush.

"Y/N, he's not taking this seriously! Don't go on that stupid date."

"Andrew, I understand you're worried. But what if you're wrong?" You say as you keep rummaging through your wardrobe for what to wear. Fancy? Cute? Casual? "Besides, I'm not a kid and you're not my mother, Andy."

He rolls his eyes at the nickname. He felt a sting at your little comment. You really don't see him as someone more than a friend, huh? How is he going to change your mind?

You hold up two shirts in front of you and show them to Andrew so he can choose but Andrew isn't looking at you anymore. You notice the small pout he has on his handsome face and immediately you put down your clothes. You sit next to him on the bed and pull his face to you.

"What made you so mad, hmm? Is it because of my little comment?"

He raises an eyebrow with an unbothered look.

"Because I called you 'Andy'? Or because I'm not listening to you for still wanting to go on a date with him?"

". . . All of it." He may be upset with you right now but he still savours your warm touch on his cheek before you let go.

"Andrew," you sigh. "Look, I know you mean well but relationships are never going to be like a fairytale. It needs trial-and-error. So, let me go on this date and see how it goes, yeah?" You smile that sweet smile so he can change his mind instead. Gosh, he wished he could kiss you right now.

"And if you end up crying?"

"I'll come to you and you'll be my shoulder to cry on?" You giggle at this.

Oh, he will. He will make sure you come back crawling to him and never disobey him again.

Andrew tickles your sides and you shrieked. You hear his chuckle indicating his mood has changed for the better a bit. It changed because he has a plan set up.

"And I would have the right to say 'I told you so'!"

-

The day of your stupid date has come and he's all set. He's nervous whether the plan will work or not, but in everyone's right mind, anyone would be heartbroken to see their crush kissing another person that's not them.

You were all dolled up it made his expression dark and deadly. Anyone walking by would be running after their lives.

He allows you to have fun with your date to let you have high hopes for something you would never get in the first place, just to be crushed and make you disgusted by that boy. He brought along his little sister, Ashley, for the plan.

"You're so weird, Andy," Ashley provoked while waiting for the perfect time to move. "You're letting your dear little sister kiss some random guy just for a girl?"

"As if you're not a slut with your boobs always sticking out," Andrew spits back. "And don't call me Andy."

Ashley rolls her eyes as she mutters under her breath, "Goes to show that you have been ogling at it like a weirdo."

"She's leaving. Go, now." Despite the little comment, she still obliges her brother and went after the boy you were dating. Andrew wasn't sure where you're going but the plan was once you return to your date, you'll be seeing a big surprise.

And surprise it was to see your dream boy talking to a girl, smiling and laughing and ending up kissing. Ashley notices your return. Thinking that this was enough sight for your sore eyes, she stuck her tongue out into the boy's mouth and pressed her boobs more into his chest.

Andrew admits he felt really bad for you but this is the only way to get you and make you understand that you don't need anyone else but him.

When the two parts themselves, you can see the boy's eyes filled with want before changing into guilt and fear once noticing you. And you really felt disgusted. You walked up to him and slapped your anger across his face.

"Oof, didn't know you had a girlfriend," Ashley says to act it out.

You heard your name being called by the boy after you left them and ran back home. In your room, miscalls and texts are lining up in your phone but you ignore all of them. There's no way you're going to let him explain what happened. There's no explanation to that evidence. The only person you want to calm you down is one tap away. But then, he would say "I told you so" because he was right and he claimed it. Gosh, you should've listened to him.

Your thumb hover over Andrew's contact but you hear a knock at your door. It must be one of your parents. You wipe your tears and suppress your anger.

"Yeah?" Before you could even tell them to come in or go away, the door opens and reveals Andrew instead. There goes the first person yet the last person you want to see. "Andrew?"

"I'm here." He walks in, closes the door behind him and engulfs you into an embrace. His warmth, his reassuring hug without saying anything, his presence; it all made you burst into tears once again.

"I should've listened to you," you sob into his shoulder, wetting his sweater. He's glad you couldn't see his face because he was smiling widely from his successful plan. He's sure, with this you'll be traumatized to find another man, traumatized that you might be disappointed again. And from here on, he'll have to make sure he'll always be there by your side whenever you need. Be it running errands for you, buying snacks that you can get yourself, or when you're lonely and sad, he'll be there for you to show that he's the only guy who would never betray, never cheat, and never make you run away.

All of these thoughts excite him that he didn't realize he kissed your head. Thankfully, you didn't push him away in disgust. That's the first step.

"I told you so."

[gietterbug]

Spy x Family Code: White - Highlights

*This post contains spoilers. Scroll away if you still need to watch the movie. **Reposted because it didn't show in the tags.

Since the movie is out and has been circulating on the internet, I would like to talk one thing or two about it. I'm overjoyed about the release and have watched the movie numerous times. So here are some highlighted scenes, or at least the ones that have become my favorites and lingered in my mind for way too long.

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First off, this scene. It's just a small gesture of Loid because apparently he's worried about Yor's mouth due to the "irritating" lipstick she's wearing.

But tell me, what kind of man would give a woman such a pleasant little gift if he did NOT love her. It's not like, "You're nothing to me. Here's a new lipstick for you!"

Loid is not going to declare "I LOVE YOU" explicitly; the hell is he going to, but we have eyes, and we see. Your small gesture and little gift say everything I need to hear, and I won't take your for the mission excuse anymore, Loid Forger.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I'm fully aware that the "Yor getting jealous" trope is becoming redundant nowadays. Some people say they're overdoing it and no longer find it interesting to talk about. But I beg to differ. I'm still on the Yor's jealousy bandwagon because it's become a crucial element in her and Loid's relationship. Yor does not necessarily have the right to get jealous and upset about the idea that there is someone else in Loid's heart. Heck, I dare say she can't pull out the "wifey" card because we know it's all fake.

But that's not that.

For me, to say that Yor is jealous there might be another woman in Loid's life is an understatement. It's not to say she is being greedy, but she does want Loid, and only him, not just because she's technically his wife—her genuine feelings for him are growing, and we can see that. She does not want to lose him, let alone to be out of the picture. It's Yor being true to herself. It's Yor fighting for her love and affection for Loid.

Extras:

Yor's heart is already shaken at the possibility of Loid cheating. And HE does not help by throwing such flattery and complimentary comments about his wife. This dense man…

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I liked what Anya did in this scene.

Afraid of her family falling apart, she tried everything she could to prevent that, and that is... through her parents' flirting 😏

She's still a little kiddo, but being the telepath that she is, she still wants her family to stay intact. Anya pushing Loid and Yor together to have some kissy-kissy time never gets old, to be honest. I always enjoy it every time she does that. Anya recollecting what Becky said about divorce and the "supposedly" bloodbath also added some comedic sense to the scene.

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This has got to be my #1 favorite.

The only physical intimacy in this scene is just Loid putting his hand on top of Yor's. Nothing more. Okay, we may have moved past that episode where LoidTwilight pulled a honeytrap on Yor, AND we can't dismiss the fact that maybe, there's a definite chance that he just used her.

But this time, he is determined to keep Yor around for real. He even restated his granade proposal to stick with each other—basically their wedding vows—and had no intention to break that promise. What's this smell? It's a whiff of peak romance.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

This scene made me feel warm and fuzzy.

What came to my mind when I was watching this scene was that although Twilight is the best and most renowned spy there is, he's still lacking some things. One of them is, for sure, parenting, which we saw from the earlier episodes of the series, he picked it up from books.

Yor always plays along with Anya to keep her entertained, and it's also one of her ways of parenting that some people may have dismissed. Yor arguably does better in this field than Twilight from her own experiences, the big chunks of which were from when she raised little Yuri. This should eliminate the questionable discourse of Yor "unfitting" for the mother role.

This scene got extended to when Yor told Loid that it was a family trip, that Anya was looking forward to this trip, and that they all should go together.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

This may be the last for now: the Forgers walking hand in hand at the end.

I couldn't imagine the hardships this family went through throughout this movie. (Ok, I know some were absurd, but let's move past them for the sake of this post.) Despite being a fake family, they still came as one and worked hard together to put things back in their place and resolve all the problems. Like... they didn't have to do that; their family is a pretend. But they did. They're complete, and it's so beautiful to see ❤

[junnieverse]

— TAEHYUN AS YOUR BOYFRIEND ! 💭

➙ boyfriend taehyun thoughts

pairings: kang taehyun x gn!reader

genre: fluff

request: " Hello <3. Kang Taehyun as boyfriend ? Don't overwork yourself pls "

warnings: lowercase intended, not proofread

a/n: hi anon, thanks for this request and cute message, make sure you follow it too. this got much longer than I intended but we all need some tae in our lives, what an angel <3

he would be such a dreamy boyfriend

but then again this just may be me projecting but who wouldn't be completely smitten over taehyun

he's smart, funny, kind, talented, stunning and the best of all, he can cook!

definitely the type of boyfriend to prefer stay in dates because he wants to cook for and/or with you

gatekeeps how he does his magic tricks but he shows you a few of the easy ones he knows

all of his FULLY shirtless pictures he takes go straight to you and then he crops them to post for fans (sobs hysterically)

taehyun remembers every little thing and detail about you that you've told him, he's like a (y/n)-pedia, sometimes he even remembers things that you forgot

massages

just thinking about it has me screaming into a pillow swinging my feet

taehyun will give you a massage whenever and wherever you need one

was slouching the entire day studying? he's going to massage your back and shoulders

had to walk in heels the entire day? not only will he carry sneakers or flat shoes for you but he will also give you a piggy back ride and then massage the tension away in your feet

where do I order my own kang taehyun?

not overly affectionate in the sense of giving especially in public but he loves receiving it from you

hug him, cuddle with him, kiss him all over, doesn't admit it much but he loves it

if he's not holding your hand then his arm is around your waist

he loves head scratches :((

so whenever he sees you relaxing he'll join you and lay his head on your lap and your hand automatically plays with his hair

definition of 'ask and you shall receive'

if you ever so mention something you've been wanting or you thought it looked cute, best believe he is going to get it for you even if you didn't actively ask for it

tyun is very much dominant and a provider sort of man in my opinion, in that aspect of wanting to take care of you and get you whatever you want

all he wants in return is your love, he will do everything else to shower you with his love in every way that he can

he almost never actually gets mad at you

he does that cute little thing where he puffs out his chest and has his hands on his waist and playfully scolds you acting all serious

because you find it so cute, you end up laughing and he breaks character

but in the rare cases where he is upset or you both do fight, he is definitely the type to talk it out because neither of you can go to sleep angry

if you do try to leave angry at him and tell him you're sleeping on the couch, well best believe he will sleep on that couch with you

if you both have similar music tastes then there's definitely multiple shared playlists you have and you always recommend new songs the other should listen to

girlfriend privileges are real

let's you win during play fights and when you catch on he lies claiming you won fair and square so you get bragging rights that you're stronger than him

oh new txt album and songs coming out? you've heard them even before they were released

he will carry your shopping bags, all you have to do is buy whatever you want to your heart's content and he will carry everything and pay for it too

he always goes out his way to show his love to you with big and small gestures but he brushes it off like it's nothing

bf who listens and maybe the s/o who talks alot trope?

genuinely such a great listener and support system

he makes sure to listen to all your vents or just be a shoulder to cry on when you're feeling down

quite sentimental with the gifts he picks out for you so it'll often times be something that holds a certain memory or it just reminds him of you

"Just saw this and picked it up along the way." he would say as if it were nothing special

despite seeming tough around everyone else, that is your squishy marshmallow

tyun gets so soft around you

his favourite way of kissing you would be cupping your face in his hands before he leans in to kiss you

the most obvious one, the best girlfriend privilege of dating kang taehyun, he sings to you all the time

[ariicandy]

Me llama su ángel, pero juega con mis demonios

Translation: He call me His angel, but he keep plays with my demons

About — Aventurine being the teasing man himself, you can’t help but think if he’s playing with your love for him or does indeed love you too

Song — Pensamientos Intrusivos by Kali Uchis

Note — guys the urge to write 4 him is so strong yk I must!! I honestly wrote this off of the line as it mainly inspired me to write!! Divider credits to @/cafekitsune P.S ooc!aventurie I haven’t gone too in-depth of his character so warning!!

It’s always been the same, he’s always messing you with small tricks he pulls to catch you off guard. Pulling off a small dime from your ear, placing a hand around your shoulder or waist. They never fail to surprise you everytime even if aventurine does this everyday, they always give you a sudden flush of blush to your face whenever he walks up behind you and places an arm around your waist. Aventurine knows he can always catch you off guard from a surprise trick he does to you. He uses it against you to have some fun, seeing the shocked face you make always makes him want to smirk more. He can’t help but love that face you make everyday but never says anything as you might just see his movements as his personality than him gesturing his liking of you. Ohh how you love and hate him at the not really, same time.

Every time he would get a reaction out of you being shocked from his surprise moves, his cocky smirk shows more, laughing from making you this sate you hated him further that. But you also like every time he encounters you anywhere in penacony, he would always talk to you no matter if he an important meeting very soon, he will pretend that meeting wasn’t a thing when he starts chatting with you. The way he always likes to start by knowing how your day was not even caring if you didn’t do anything “exciting, fun” thing today. He likes hearing your voice, it brings him such smoothness to him like a deck of cards, it may be perhaps the reason he likes to bring you to casinos as your voice is like gift of luck. It is like a package in one! His adorablecrushing on friend and a lovely voice of luck hanging out with him!! He always says to you, “You know, [Name], we make an amazing pair. With your luck and my skills in the casino we will be unstoppable.” With a smirk of a smile and places a kiss on your knuckles.

Meanwhile you, on the other hand, cannot identify if what is he saying is true and doing is true or just him trying to remain his poker face by doing something to get into it. It’s conflicting with your mind and heart trying to think and also believe what he is saying is very much true. A small blush only appears visible on your cheeks that aventurine can see, his mischievous smile appears that makes you realize your face betrayed you showing your emotion. You only then clear your throat and focus your attention on the match/round aventurine is busying in. Soon after leaving and returning to your home, aventurine decided to break the small moment of silence after you stepped foot in your home. “[Name], I hope you do know, I do enjoy having your company with me everywhere, have you thought about what I have told you of us being an unstoppable, amazing pair together?” You turned around to face him with seeing a genuine smile on his face that he is allowing you to see. Hesitated you decided to speak, “Aventurine are you messing with me again? I thought you had your fun at the casino?” You didn’t think he actually mean that, he would have told you genuinely- “I’m not messing with you [Name]. I do enjoy having you with me, you are an embodiment of what needs in luck, a person to have around.” Starting to move closer to you, becoming mere inches away from each other’s faces, he continued. “You always have this thing of soothing me whenever you talk, it hypnotizes me to listen to you more and forget whatever I needed to do.” He then leans in to place a kiss on your lips, one hand under your chin so he can kiss you, and the other behind his back with a small card ready to be handed to you. Aventurine breaks the kiss and looks at you seeing how you feel, he then shows his other hand that was behind his back to your hand and winks at you leaving you completely speechless from that. Ohh, he is so paying you back for suddenly confessing to you and just playing like it was nothing when you catch up to him running at him.

[rowretro]

ℂ𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 ℂ𝕚𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕤

✧taglist✧: @eclipse-777

✧warnings: F-boy Sunghoon so mentions of sex ig, may be a lil suggestive, possessive hoon

❁synopsis: The campus hottie, was practically perfect, smart handsome talented and rumour has it among the girls, good in bed. The male is a fuck boy, a jerk face, never once wanted to fall in love after having his heart broken once by an unlucky bitch. Heck he believed he'd be like that forever, until he came across the new girl. Yang y/n.

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

✧❁PART 2/???❁✧

Y/n was simply having lunch with Danielle, the two talking about random things, changing the subject every 30 seconds. Not too far from them, Sunghoon harshly rejected a girl, saying he was in love with a girl, looking over at y/n with lovestruck eyes in hopes that the girl would feel some sort of trust seeing this. She didn't even care. Smiling as she sipped on her cherry flavoured drink with a smile.

Hell even when walking to class, she had Sunghoon running after her, the way his fangirls ran behind him. Fuck the girls were pissed. How the fuck does an average girl like that have the most stunning man wrapped around her finger? in their eyes, she wasn't even pretty, all that he was seeing was makeup, cakey makeup. Sunghoon didn't care about any of that though.

He fell in love with her for a different reason. See in his eyes, she's all the beauty he needs. He fucking loves her that's all they need to know. When he wakes up, he wants to wake up knowing she's safe in his arms. He wants his heart to flutter at her genuine smile. He wants to hold her hand and take her out on romantic dates. Fuck he just wants to be the reason behind her smiling like an idiot. Is that too much to ask for?

"Why are you in love with me?!" y/n asked as Sunghoon froze. "What reason should I say when there are so many?" Sunghoon asked as Y/n sighed "Tell me every single reason. There can't possibly be a whole 10-paged essay of reasons that you need to read out to me" y/n added with a scoff as Sunghoon just snickerred.

Sunghoon just stared at her, lovestruck, "How could I not fall in love with you?... Your lips, how they form into a genuine smile, your cheeks that I so badly want to pinch, your eyes that I just can't ever stop staring into, it feels like I've known you for years though we just met, you tend to say so much about how much you hate your nose, but I don't see why you keep complaining about something so perfect, I envy you for it." he started as y/n's eyes met his.

"When I look at you, I just want to hold you in my arms, to be the reason behind your warm smile, to run around in the rain and eat ice cream, whisper so many cheesy sweet nothings into your ear, spoil you with affection, to spill all my secrets, my fears, everything to you, I want to be able to be vulnerable around you, fuck I just want you. your love, to know that after a rough day, I can come home to you." Sunghoon said. He was so goddamn genuine.

Heck, even Danielle saw how genuine he was, he was being honest. Any one could turn to see him and immediately say that's a man in love. Everyone was shocked. The playboy has never said such cheesy things to a girl before. In their eyes he was doing everything to take his virginity, very few realized the playboy is no longer a playboy. Some girls were just jealous, whichever one it was, they hated that he treated y/n like that.

Y/n just stared into his eyes, clearly captivated by his words, but then she blinked, looking away, she bit her lip as she stared down. "Wow... you sound so cheesy. I can't believe you thought I'd fall for a stunt like that. Everyone knows what you want Sunghoon. Once a playboy, always a playboy. Only in a netflix cringe drama would we be possible." She simply said as she walked off, dragging Danielle with her.

Sunghoon was not going to give up, not now not ever. He saw her eyes, fuck he almost had her. She's playing hard to get but he'll break the ice. She needs way more than love she needs commitment, and he can give her more than anything she could dream of.

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

✧❁PART 3❁✧

[etherealising]

One more request/ask this time for aiekoy 🍑/🐻/🧡 could you write something on if baby and carm would get together if Mikey were still alive? Or just if they would cross paths and still never say anything? If you’re up to it if not no biggie- again congrats on 1k!🥳

ohhh i love this so much, giggling because i get to play with aiekoy cannon and i am living for it. gonna be honest i don’t even remember writing most of this but it is chaotic and i actually kinda love it.

this was going in so many different directions before this became my final thoughts, thank you for requesting and please enjoy!! 🫶🏽

warning(s): addiction | violence |

mikey lives, does barby?

in this scenario the only ‘aiekoy’ chapters that would still be canon are ch. 1-3, interlude 0-1 and any pre-aiekoy lore that i may not have published yet 🫣.

and for the sake of consistency, we’re throwing all ‘the bear’ canon out the window!

but now is where we start to change things, so we’ll say baby moves back to Chicago beginning of 2019 Christmas showed you just how much you missed being around your surrogate family and so we kiss the west coast goodbye.

and with baby back in town the trio (baby/nat/richie) with all the time they spend around mikey begin to realize like he needs serious help. his deterioration is so clear to anyone who looks at him that if things don’t change soon we all know what’s gonna happen.

it's a bit of back and forth cause mikey is stubborn as hell and he definitely doesn’t take kindly to his addiction being called out. man is feeling cornered right now.

i don’t think mikey would just agree to rehab out of nowhere, growing up as the man of the house i think he definitely has some underlying issues with toxic masculinity.

something big would have to happen for him to see the error of his ways like baby finding him just strung out in his office at the beef pills scattered everywhere and of course, it hurts you to see him this way.

so you begin like trying to dispose of the pills, searching his office for anything more and lecturing him because you love him ya know. obviously reasoning with an addict hardly if ever works.

sadly to say i think it would get a bit physically violent like mikey kind of just lashes out just like grips baby by the arms, and pins you to the wall so hard it alerts the staff.

and it's an ugly scene as richie pulls him off of you. you’re just standing there glued to the wall scared shitless as richie holds himself back from beating the shit out of mikey.

nat gets wind of the whole situation i feel like tina would definitely call her because wtf is going on with mikey?

a few weeks later baby’s distant with mikey, richie is genuinely physically disgusted anytime he’s around his best friend, and nat bless her heart is just trying to keep the family together. she explains what happened to mikey between the two of you because his memory is spotty and the man just breaks down like heaving sobs as he asks nat to help him get better.

they decide a long-term stint in rehab might work best, considering how long he’s been using and the toll his psychological state has taken we’ll say a 6 month program that as it progresses the whole gang will be involved in family counseling sessions.

baby and richie obviously go with nat to drop mikey off setting aside their issues with him (you obviously haven’t forgiven his transgression yet but you want to be there for him) and the whole thing is so emotional i’m talking group hug full of sobs and snot this shit is heartbreaking. but mikey’s adamant that he wants the help.

baby definitely thinks someone should tell carmy but both richie and nat are iffy about it and they table that conversation for the time being.

fast forward a few months mikey is in rehab detoxing and participating in counseling sessions, they aren’t allowed to contact him yet but they do get weekly updates on his well-being.

baby is in new york for work profiling executive chef alex johannes (he didn’t have a name in the show so now he does) about his work ethic and michelin stars or some shit.

he invites you to the restaurant hours before the dinner service so you can observe him and the kitchen during prep and this man is laying the charm on thick!

he’s definitely scummy and you’re genuinely fed up with him so you tell him you need to walk around to get a feel for the kitchen but you just want to be rid of him.

you’re doing your cute journalist thing taking notes, trying to talk to chefs about what the kitchen environment is like working under alex but these people are giving you nothing!

there’s a commotion at one of the prep stations and you’re obviously curious the whole kitchen is trying to pretend they aren’t watching this shit go down.

and you’re just listening to this poor chef get verbally abused as they’re working on their prep, jotting all this down in your little notepad.

but the sight of the chef slamming a cutting board against the counter has you flinching and you just can’t let that happen irritation radiating through you at this bully you’ve been assigned to profile.

you’ve seen enough stepping up to defend the poor chef with a few choice words to the older man ultimately getting in a verbal argument with him and being sent out of his kitchen, but not before he makes the poor chef join you, and whatever bravado you had to rip that asshole a new one is gone as carmen fucking berzatto begins walking in your direction shoving past you to get to the staff lounge.

what are the fucking odds that you end up at the same exact restaurant carmy works at after being ghosted by him again that one christmas. (I’d say they’re great since I’m writing this)

you’re standing there in shock for a minute before turning on your heel to find the man.

he’s pacing back and forth hand pressing into the space where his heart lay. as soon as he sees you he’s hurling questions your way; “what the fuck are you doing here?” “why the fuck couldn’t you just mind your business?” “he didn’t need your fucking help.” blah blah blah.

your anger from earlier is back and you’re just like alright bet “guess it’s still fuck me right carm?” grabbing your bag and getting the fuck outta dodge.

you don’t make it far before carmy finds you, the man doesn’t apologize but he asks you to stop by when he gets off.

you’re a loser for carm so you do. he’s takes you back to his place, it’s awkward as fuck but you finally give in and tell him about what’s going on in Chicago, mikey’s addiction, the “fight” you had with mikey at the beef, him being in rehab.

and carmy is surprised as fuck, to say the least, he tells you that he’s miserable in new york. feels like the restaurant might kill him before his anxiety ever could.

neither of you are sure how any of it happens but the next thing you know you’re naked under him giving into pent-up desires, promises whispered into each other’s skin.

you can’t stay in new york forever but the both of you decide it is for the best not to start anything with all the distance between you.

you try talking carmy into moving back to Chicago and homeboy actually gives it some thought.

after that the two of you are in constant contact like not a day goes by without a phone call or text.

you’re back in chicago mikey’s been doing good in rehab, the family counseling sessions are going well. next thing you know his 6 months are up and he’s out.

you talk carmy into visiting for a bit, he and mikey def have things to work out.

surprise surprise, COVID hits carmy gets stuck in Chicago (man is not complaining though if that means he gets to see you)

you get a roommate who doubles as a lover and everything goes from there!!!

a/n: reading this is so chaotic it actually made me giggle. on a serious note in no way am i saying all addicts are violent or have violent tendencies but from my experiences that has been the case. also i think canonically (7 fishes ep) that mikey did have violent tendencies whether it be the drugs or not.

[evstostuff]

Sundress

Pairing: Pierre Gasly x Reader

Warning: 18+, language, unprotected sex, little bit of nipple play, lots of fluff, public sex, bit of dirty talk, outdoor sex, French petnames

Word count: 3,512….may have gotten carried away with the story on this one

Summer in Britain was hitting different this year, the heat was suffocating. 

“You will definitely be feeling the heat throughout the week as we are potentially going to be experiencing a thirty five degree heatwave.” 

A sigh left your lips as you switched the news off. 

“Mon chéri" Pierre’s French accent laced one of the many pet names he had given you. 

The frenchman wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his head on your shoulder. You wanted to lean back into him but with the temperature already high and the extra body heat, your body began to sweat. 

“Too hot baby.” You muttered as you shuffled out of his grasp. Pierre huffed, annoyed at the climate.

“Are you ready to go to the airport?” You questioned looking at the suitcase Pierre had put at the front door. 

“Yeah, just missing you.” Your stomach felt uneasy from the guilt of lying to your boyfriend.

Pierre’s parents always held an annual family bbq where all the siblings, their partners and their families would get together for the week at the holiday home in the South of France. It was always held the second week of the F1 summer break. Last year was the first year you went with Pierre, being introduced to his entire family as his girlfriend. The week was filled with amazing food and a massively warm welcome to the family. 

Unfortunately, this year your boss hadn’t authorised the time off from work. Pierre was gutted. You felt extremely guilty and felt like you had let your boyfriend down by not securing the time off. It wasn’t till a few days prior that one of your colleagues had over heard you talking to Pierre on the phone telling him your boss was still unwilling to give you the holiday, that they came over and said they’d be willing to cover all of your hours that week. Both of you approached your boss and discussed the proposal. Much to your surprise your boss went with it and allowed you the time off with the catch you’d be working overtime for the next couple of weeks.

A few phone calls were made to Pierre’s mum and Charles to complete the secret plan. This year Pierre had invited Charles and Charlotte as his mum had been asking how little Charlie had been getting on. You had yet to meet Charlotte, constantly missing each other at race weekends and never being able to get your schedules to match up when the boys spent time together outside the race track.

The plan was to give the illusion that you were still going to work but you were dropping Pierre off at the airport beforehand but instead of going to work you’d be driving back home to get changed and to be picked up by Charles and Charlotte.

“We better get going Y/N or I’ll miss my flight.” Your boyfriend huffed and made his way to the door.

“Pierre you know how sorry I am that I can’t come.” You pleaded with him.

“I know mon coeur, it’s just not going to be the same without you.” 

You wanted to tell him then and there. His eyes held a genuine sadness to them, it was really pulling on your heart strings. Silently you both walked to the car.

The journey to the airport was pretty quiet, just the low hum of whatever radio station you had on. Normal car rides with Pierre consisted of him taking control of the aux and you both singing along to whatever playlist he had put on. 

“I’m going to miss you.” The Frenchman hugged you extra tight.

“Once you get there and see everyone, you won’t even realise I’m not there.” You sighed into his chest.

“Don’t be silly Y/N, you consume my entire being. You are on my mind twenty four seven whether you like it or not.” Pierre had moved you away, hands resting on your hips.

He moved his fingers to grasp your chin as you both looked at each other. You were captivated by his eyes, the bright blue orbs capturing you body, mind and soul. He moved his lips closer to yours.

“I love you Y/N.” The words fell from his lips and then they were on yours. The kiss was deep, full of emotion. You knew Pierre meant those words with all of his heart. You laced your fingers into the hair on the back of Pierre’s head, bringing you both closer together. 

You both pulled away and rested your foreheads together. A sigh left you lips, satisfied with the kiss but also yearning for more. 

“I love you too Pierre.” You placed your hand on his cheek and gently ran your fingers through his stuble. 

You gave him one last hug and waved him into the airport.

The wave of guilt hit you again as you texted Pascale letting her know Pierre was at the airport and to expect him within the next couple of hours. You headed back to the car and drove back to your apartment, ready to pack and wait for Charles to pick you up.

Manically, you threw everything you could into your suitcase. The excitement was bubbling up inside you are you got ready. You had purchased a beautiful navy blue and white sun dress. It clung in all the right places and complimented the shape of your breasts with the love heart neck line. You’d be arriving late afternoon to the Gasly’s holiday home so wanted to look nice for the first night of the family get together. 

Your phone pinged.

Charles: We’re ten minutes away, see you soon!

You smiled at the text, noticing the other notifications you had missed due to packing and getting ready. Several texts from Pierre.

My Love: Just landed baby, will text you when I arrive at the house xx

My Love: Hey, at the house. Everyone is asking where you are and is sad that you couldn’t come xx

My Love: Hope work hasn’t been too stressful, text me when you can. I love you xx

You heart ached at his words but excitement soon replaced that as you knew in just a few hours you’d be surprising him. 

You: Hey baby, sorry been busy today! Tell them all I say hello and that I’m gutted I can’t be there. I love you too with all my heart xx

Putting your phone down, the door bell echoed through the apartment. 

“Come in Charles!” You shouted.

“Hi Y/N, you nearly ready?” Charles asked coming into your room.

You ran to him wrapping him in a hug. Noticing Charlotte behind him, you opened your arm to her.

“Hi Charlotte, I’ve heard so much about you. Lovely to meet you. Now get in on the hug.” You all giggled as Charlotte joined in.

You let go of the pair and went to put the finishing touches to your hair and make up. You had opted for light coverage makeup with a baby pink lip and soft curls throughout your hair. 

“Look at you. Pierre is one lucky guy.” Charlotte gushed at you. A small blush crept up your cheeks.

Charles grabbed your suit case and put it into the car as you and Charlotte made your way down. You couldn’t help but giggled as you saw the car. Clearly a rental and nothing close to the luxury of his personalised Ferrari he was dying to get back to in Monaco. 

“Y/N don’t you dare say a word.” Charles grumbled causing both you and Charlotte to burst into a fit of laughter. 

The journey to the airport couldn’t have gone quicker. Eventually, after going through security you were sat in Charles’ private jet. Your phone pinged a couple of times.

Mummy Gasly: How long do you think you’ll be sweetie? Pierre isn’t at all his usual self, he’s really missing you.

Mummy Gasly: *Picture message*

Mummy Gasly: Have a safe flight sweetie, Charles has just text me. See you soon xxx

You smiled at her words. Opening the picture message you were greeted by a picture of Pierre sat on the porch on his own. He looked relaxed in his shorts and oversized white shirt. You looked at the picture a bit closer, seeing everyone else in the background laughing and playing together further into the garden. Sighing you locked your phone getting ready for take off.

Throughout the flight you were in and out of sleep. The co-pilot had come out to say that touchdown would be within the next ten minutes. You turned to look at Charles to see if he was awake. Neither Charles or Charlotte were, both snuggled up together. Charlotte’s head resting on Charles’ shoulder whilst his head rested on hers. You couldn’t help it, you snapped a picture of them and sent it to Charles. You opened the other chat with Pascale.

You: Ten minutes till we land. Should be with you within the hour xxx

You locked your phone and smiled. You couldn’t wait to see the look on Pierre’s face. The plane landed. Both Charles and Charlotte stirred from their deep slumber.

“We’re here?” Charlotte stretched.

“Yes now hurry up, I feel lonely with how cute you two are.” You giggled at the pair as they blushed and smiled at each other.

“Thanks for the photo Y/N.” Charles brushed past you giving you a warm smile.

Luckily for Charles, the rental car from the airport was far nicer than the one in London. You all got in and made the journey to the Gasly’s home. 

Mummy Gasly: We’re all in the garden, let me know when you’re outside and I’ll come fetch you xxx

You: It says we’ll be five minutes. See you soon xxx

You recognised the scenery as Charles drove through the small French towns. They were all so beautiful and authentic, it’s what caused you fell in love with the place last year when you and Pierre were out exploring all the towns close the family home. 

Charles turned into the drive to the house. Your belly in bits from the nerves. The car pulled to a stop. Pascale was stood at the door waiting with a massive smile on her face.

Pierre noticed the lack of presence of his mother. Curious he moved into the house to try and find her. He heard the voice of his best friend, Charlotte and then another muffled female voice. He made his way to the front of the house, the voices getting slightly louder. Pierre was greeted by his mother, Charles and Charlotte. He hugged his best friend. 

“I’m so glad you guys could make it this year.” Pierre was happy to see Charles but he just couldn’t shift how lost he felt without you. 

“Come on mate, lets go grab a beer.” Charles wrapped his arm around his best friend’s shoulder, leaving Charlotte in deep conversation with Pascale as they followed them out.

You had gotten out the car and ran to hug Pascale.

“Hello sweetie.” She cooed as you both rocked side to side in the embrace. 

“Why don’t you go round the back, Pierre is in the garden.” Pascale suggested whilst brushing a few strands of hair out your face.

“Hello Charles, Charlotte. Lovely to see you both.” Pascale embraced them both.

“Right time to surprise Pierre.” You smiled, unable to hide how excited you were.

Making your way round the back, you opened the gate and walked into the garden. You could hear the giggles of Pierre’s nieces and nephews as you got closer. The nerves were getting worse, your palms were starting to get a bit clammy. Your eyes darted around to find the man you were looking for. Where was Pierre? Pascale had said he was outside. Franticly your eyes darted around, worried about where he was. 

“Y/N?” Pierre’s dad stood in front of you.

“Hi!” You giggled as the man brought you into a big embrace.

Everyone started to notice your presence, one by one coming over to greet you. The love you were receiving was beyond what you expected. Pierre’s nieces and nephews tugging at your dressing begging you to come and look at what they were creating in the sandpit. 

“Do I not to get come see being your favourite uncle of all time.” There was the voice you wanted to hear most.

You turned around to be face to face with your boyfriend. He was in awe of you, of how beautiful you looked. You were in awe of him, his whole presence had consumed your mind. Neither of you could help it, smiles on your faces as you wrapped your arms around each other.

Pierre was simply intoxicating. 

“I can’t believe you are really here.” Pierre brushed a piece of hair away from your face. His fingers traced your jaw line as his eyes flickered from yours to your lips. The tension between you growing.

“Just kiss me already.” You demanded as you wrapped your arms are his neck pulling him closer to you.

In that moment everyone had disappeared, it was just you and Pierre. Your lips moved perfectly together as you both heard an applause erupt with a few wolf whistles and people fake gagging. Neither of you could help giggling into one another as you pulled away. 

“Come on, let’s go get a drink.” Pierre’s hand rested firmly on your lower back whilst he guided you towards the drinks table.

“I like these colours on you.” Pierre smirked at you as he mixed you a drink.

“I thought you would baby.” You couldn’t help but look Pierre up and down, taking him in. 

Pierre around his family was a new level of relaxed. His white shirt slight unbuttoned revealing a small amount of chest hair and that gold crucifix necklace he always wore. You knew you were staring but how could you not. The man was a god. Pierre turned his back to you and you couldn’t help but drool at the way the material of the shirt clung to his back muscles as they moved. 

“Mon ange, you are staring.” Pierre purred as he handed you a drink. He knew exactly what that pet name did to you, the way it slipped off his tongue and straight to your core. 

You both took a seat round the fire pit, joining Charles and Charlotte. Pierre’s hand found it’s way onto your thigh, just resting there torturing you as you wanted it to be doing much more.

The night was filled with laughter, lots of food and Pierre whispering sweet nothings in your ear. He couldn’t stop admiring how stunning you looked and how that the sundress was testing his restraint. 

Charles and Charlotte had taken themselves to bed, leaving just you and Pierre in the garden. It was quiet apart from the crackle of the fire. You had cuddled up to your boyfriend, situating yourself between his legs leaning back into his chest. Pierre grabbed the blanket and laid it over the pair of you.

Pierre ran his fingers up and down the outside of your thigh under the blanket sending shivers through your body. You let out a hum of appreciation to your boyfriend's movements. Taking that as a hint, Pierre moved the hair off your shoulder to expose your neck. His lips left gentle kisses up and down on the sensitive skin. You wanted more from him, you wanted all of him. As if Pierre had heard your thoughts, his fingers traced over your panties feeling the growing dampness.

“Mon ange I haven’t even properly touched you and you’re already getting wet.” Pierre cooed in you ear, nibbling your lobe gently. 

You tried to piece a sentence together but it was no use, Pierre’s fingers had your full attention. They were taughting you with the agonisingly slow brush of his fingers over where you needed him most. You pushed your hips meeting Pierre’s finger tips. A small moan left your lips.

“Is that what you want huh?” Pierre was enjoying how you were putty in his hands when it came to sex. You always reacted so well to his touch and the delightful sounds you made as he pleasured you alway made him go insane.

Pierre had moved your panties to the side and his finger was circling round your entrance feeling how wet you were for him.

“I’m going to need an answer mon ange.” 

“Please Pierre.” You uttered.

That was all Pierre needed. His lips working on you neck, nipping at your sweet spot as he pushed his fingers inside you. With every curl of Pierre’s fingers your moans where getting louder and you were getting closer to your climax.

“Y/N look at me.” Pierre demanded.

You tilted your head back and locked eyes with Pierre. His eyes were no longer their usual bright blue, they were dark and lustful. Pierre’s free hand came up and gripped your neck, pulling your lips to his. Your moans were muffled by Pierre as your tongues danced with each others. The knot in your stomach was close to unraveling. You tried to pull away from Pierre’s lips but he had captured your bottom lip between his teeth. The slight pang of pain was enough to send you over the edge. Your head fell back as you moaned Pierre’s name. Pierre continued to curl his fingers inside you, helping you ride out your orgasm as you imprinted nail marks into his thighs.

“Take your panties off now, I’m fucking you in that sundress right here.” Pierre clearly very frustrated.

You removed your panties and frantically helped Pierre unbutton his shorts and pull his boxers down. His cock was rock hard and begging to be inside you. The site of Pierre so desperate for you was enough to send you into a frenzy. Pierre pulled you onto his lap and put the blanket around you both so neither of you were too exposed.

“You have been teasing me all day in the bloody dress. My team colours and this neckline showing off how perky your tits are.” Pierre’s fingers traced along your bust.

“Pierre I need you.” You whimpered as his touch left goosebumps along your skin.

“Need me where mon ange?” Pierre moved himself underneath you. The tip of his cock perfectly lined with your entrance.

“Inside me baby, I need you.” You pleaded.

Pierre gave you what you wanted, plunging right into you, earning a moan from both of you. Your lips were on his, tongues battling with each others, both of you enjoying the rushed movements and desperation for one another. Both of you were getting closer to your releases. Pierre took over from you riding him, pushing his hips up into you. He could feel you clenching around his cock indicating you were ready to cum. 

His lips left yours and made their way down your neck to your chest. Before you knew what was really happening, Pierre had pulled the straps of your dress down your arms, leaving your boobs exposed. Pierre latched onto your nipple, swirling his tongue around the bud.

The roles had changed again and now you were in charge of riding both yourself and Pierre to climax. Your fingers ran through Pierre’s hair whilst you watched him play with your nipples. You could feel the tension, you were ready to let go.

“Mon ange cum for me.” Pierre watched you in awe as you relaxed and let the pleasure take over you.

Pierre’s eyes never left you as he watched you come undone on top of him. The sight was enough to push him over the edge. He released his load into you as he moaned your name. 

You rested your head on Pierre’s shoulder as you caught your breath. He ran his fingers up and down your back as you both sat there.

“You look so beautiful like this Y/N.” 

You just hummed in appreciation. Everything was perfect, you were exactly where you needed to be. Both of you stayed there for a few minutes, you listening to Pierre’s steady heartbeat.

“I love you.” You mumbled against Pierre’s chest. 

Pierre lifted you off him and placed you back on the sofa. He sorted him self out and then came over with your panties, helping you put them back on.

“Come on baby, lets get to bed.” Pierre whispered in your ear as he easily scooped you up into his arms.

You couldn’t help but let the tiredness take over. Your eyes shut whilst you listened to Pierre’s heart. 

“You are my forever, you have my heart Y/N.” Pierre looked down at you asleep in his arms. In that moment he knew that he was done, he wanted life with you and that was it. He didn’t know what was going to happen in the future, he just knew that he would do everything in his power to keep you in it.

[fxchild]

The Switch

Miles Fairchild x fem!reader

Chapter seven: So now you're back?

A note from Fxchild ! Hi hi so ya I am not dead ! My phone lit broke and I totes forgot my email for this acc but now I'm back and my writers block has never gone away so quickly ! I'm so excited for new chapters to b out soon ! In the meantime while you r waiting for chapters, if you have one shot ideas for characters Finn Wolfhard plays I would b more than happy to write those so you guys aren't waiting forever for a new chapter ! So...finally heres the well awaited chapter seven ! I hope you enjoy this <3

It's the first day of May. It's also been three months since Miles left again. I keep telling Flora that he'll be back soon but I feel my heart break every time I lie to her. I don't think he will be back until I leave for the summer and then he'll leave again when I come back. I feel so guilty..Flora doesn't have a brother that lives with her because of me. But was it all really my fault? He treats me like shit and expects me to tolerate it. Never mind. I don't give a flying fuck about him anymore. He can do whatever he wants, if something happens to him, oh boo hoo not my problem.

It was finally Friday which means I have tomorrow off and I only have to teach Flora a little today because the weather was perfect for horseback riding and I'd promise to let her out today. Today I wore a dark red top with dark grey jeans with black high top shoes. I put my hair in a half up half down clip and did minimal makeup because I was planning on recording myself for an upcoming interview I have for a summer job.

Today I planned out a written test to see Flora's knowledge on geography. I would give her a half an hour to finish up on review and two hours for the test. The test was fairly easy so it shouldn't take her more than an hour or so.

"And begin." I smiled at Flora, setting my timer on my desk which is right across from hers. She immediately begins to read and write down answers while I look over her past work to grade.

Around 45 minutes into the session we hear the front door open. Flora pays no attention to it, I assume it's Ms. Grose coming in from cutting grass or buying groceries so I ignore it and go back to reading old assignments. Around a few minutes went by when I heard footsteps coming to the room. Expecting Ms. Grose I take my feet off the desk and fix my posture without looking at the door. I pretend to be in deep thought with grading when I hear someone clear their throat and hear Flora shout,

"Miles!" She screeches and jumps from her seat running over to hug him. I immediately turn my whole body in my chair with wide eyes. His hair slightly longer and he looks a little taller. He still has the same smirk and dead eyes I saw the night he left. He had on a black coat that ran down to his knees and two bags in his hands that he must have taken when he left. He engulfs Flora into a hug and smiles down at her. I've never seen that smile before. Unlike the ones he had given me this one was warm and loving. I think I had given him that smile before but I wasn't sure. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, he looked up at me and smiled. It was genuine, his eyes brightened. I knew it was real because it wasn't that same old smirk he put on with confidence, he looked painfully awkward and his eyes kept darting between me and the wooden floor. I didn't smile back. I rose up from my seat and walked over to him.

"Flora, why don't you take Miles bags and put them in his room for him sweetheart?" I smiled down at her while patting her hair. She gladly accepts and runs off with his bags. Miles smiles at me again nodding opening his mouth to speak but I cut him off.

"How you been Miles? Where'd you go this time huh? Was it fun?" I say with a sarcastic fake smile, he could tell I was mad.

"Well I-" He begins as I slap his face.

"You scared the shit out of me! Do you know how upset Flora was? She cried for almost a week, blaming herself, poor girl!" I say gritting my teeth with my eyes starting to tear up slightly.

He stared at me with pursed lips before sighing and answering. "He told me to."

I scoff and look at him dumbfounded. "He? Wh-who the hell is 'he' Miles huh? What are you schizo?" I roll my eyes annoyed

"Nobody-nothing. I just..had a dream that's all." He shakes his head staring down at the floor with shame.

"Whatever Miles." I roll my eyes and walk over to Flora's desk to pick up her finished test. "Better go find Flora. Told her she could get out of class early to go ride the horses." I say looking through her test without looking up at Miles.

"You're not gonna come?" He asks quietly, nodding his head to the side, scratching the back of his neck.

I chuckle quietly before placing the test back on the desk. "After the last time?" I walk over to him, picking a pine needle off his jacket. "No thanks." I fake smile before walking out of the room to my own. When I reach my room I fall flat onto my bed before letting out a loud sigh into my pillow. A few minutes later I look out the window. I see Flora and Miles running to the stables and shouting happily. I turn to look at my Calendar, 30 days until I leave. I got sick of sitting in my room bored and decided to go do something, anything in his boring place.

I walk into the kitchen hoping there's an apple or some food sitting out but instead of being greeted with food, it's an unbearable Ms. Grose. I smile at her but she crosses her arms and frowns at me.

"Why are you being so unpleasant towards Miles?" She grits her teeth. "What are you talking about?" I ask trying to pretend I have no clue what's going on. "Talking to him in such an arrogant tone, not accepting his offer and you still wonder why he left? You should be shamed." She spits at me coldly. My face dropped as I start to feel tears in the corners of my eyes.

I quickly ran back up to my room and slam the door. Tears start to stream down my face as I grab my backpack and start shoving stuff into my bag. By the time I zipped it up I hear the front door open again. I quickly put my shoes back on and started heading down the stairs. Walking towards the door I'm wiping my tears, Miles blocks my path.

"Woah woah! Where are you going?" He asks with a concerned look on his face, his hands falling to my shoulders. "Out." I reply while sniffling trying to push past him.

"Um okay, when are you coming back?" He lets go of me, now following me out the door. "I don't know..like..tomorrow? Sunday maybe?" I continue to walk away from him to my car. "Tell me where in case you get black out drunk again and need me to pick you up." He scoffs grabbing onto my wrist.

"You know what Miles? You won't have to worry about me anymore! I won't bother you. It's clear I make you want to leave and you hate me so I'll just leave you alone okay?! Is that what you wa-"

He cuts me off by pressing his lips against mine. It was soft and quick, like he was trying to shut me up and this was the first thing he thought of. He lets go of my wrist and stands up straight looking at me sternly. My cheeks are burning red as I attempt to say something but I can't seem to speak, like there's no air in my lungs.

I lean up against my car door for a moment staring at my feet trying to decide whether to leave or not. I finally look up at him, his head in staring at my feet too. His hands are in his pockets and he's biting his bottom lip nervously. I smile up at him.

"Hey..I'll be back in a little while. I promise I won't make you pick me up this time. Want me to grab you something?" I softly smile, hoping he won't hate me. He shakes his head no with a small smile on his face before letting me get into his car. He watches me drive off before heading back inside.

'29 days..' I whisper to myself as I head into the nearest town, smiling to myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was extremely rushed so my apologies if it wasn't as great as one of my last chapters ! I promise the next chapter will b better and have more of a plot than this one. Hope you guys liked this and r excited for the next chapter!

[allmoshnobrain]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

part 33 of 35 | masterpost

word count: 2597 | ao3 link | fic's playlist

I could feel his heart tapping against my fingertips, a bit quicker now, a subtle blush coloring his cheeks. His blonde eyelashes looked almost see-through in the sunlight, his blue eyes sparkling and locked onto mine, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. I brought my hands up to his face, running my fingers over it slowly. He let out a sigh, lightly shutting his eyes like he'd been waiting for my touch his whole life.

✦ on this chapter: dave mustaine x female!oc, james hetfield x female! oc, oc is cliff's cousin, +18, language, slice of life, angst, romance

✦ a/n: Hi, everyone! I posted this chapter a little later than usual because I was too busy today, but it's here! Sorry for the delay. Also, some of you may have already seen this, but: I missed writing about Dave and Nore happy together a lot these last few days, so I posted a small extra chapter set somewhere between chapters 16 and 17 for all my Dave and Nore enjoyers 🖤 You can read it here. Hope you liked reading, feedback is welcome!

✧ you don't have to leave, you could just stay here, with me / forget all the party police, we could find comfort in debauchery ✧

“I should've been there with you,” James's voice, annoyed and concerned, crackled through the phone pressed to my ear. “You shouldn't have dealt with this on your own. I should've been right there beside you.”

“James, it's alright,” I mumbled, sparking a cigarette, propping myself against the payphone stand. It was late afternoon, and I’d dialed James to tell him all about my disastrous mission in Los Angeles. If I wasn't in tears at the moment, it was only because I'd already exhausted my supply in the hours before.

“Of course, it's not okay!” he burst out, matching my frustration. “Did you check with the neighbors? Wasn't there some dude you knew living downstairs?”

“Yeah, Ellefson. He bailed too. Apparently, they moved out together last week. Left no trace for anyone to follow,” I finished the sentence with a tremor in my voice, eyes burning with fresh tears, but I wasn't going to break down now. Not while James was on the line, his concern clear in every word he spoke.

“Fuck. What a mess,” he muttered. “Hey, it's gonna be alright. I think I've got his mom's address; I can try reaching out to her. We'll find him, Nore.”

“Thanks, James,” I said, feeling a bit better knowing that even if the day had turned to crap, he still had my back.

“I'm sorry about all this Pat shit. Had no clue she'd pull a stunt like that.”

“It's fine…”

“No, Nore, it's not. You know, you said the right thing to her. I never want to see that girl again. But I can hop over to Los Angeles if it means making her apologize to you,” he declared, his voice carrying a slightly menacing edge that hinted he might have wanted to go beyond a simple apology.

“James, you really don't have to do that. It'd be just playing into her drama,” I let out a heavy sigh. “All I want is to find Dave and sort this mess out once and for all.”

“We'll track him down, Nore. I promise. Everything's gonna be fine,” James tried to assure me, and I managed a small smile. There was something kinda sweet about how he was going all out to cheer me up, genuinely putting in the effort to help me out, just because it'd make me happy. 

James was just impossible not to like.

“I know, Jamie,” I replied, letting the warmth of my smile show in my voice. “Thank you.”

The rest of February breezed by quickly; I suddenly realized that the one-year anniversary of my move to San Francisco had quietly passed. It seemed pretty wild how everything that had unfolded in the last few months had managed to cram into a year, shaping me in more ways than I could express. It was like I'd been a part of the boys’ life forever, like I couldn’t quite picture who I was without them in the frame.

March rolled in, bringing the end of winter closer and closer. As the days lit up and warmed, James and I kept our long-distance communication going. The phone calls from San Francisco to Long Beach, initially a bit spaced out, soon became almost a daily ritual, and I found myself eagerly anticipating those moments in an entirely new way. Sweet words of affection began to find their way into our conversations more frequently. I had to admit, I missed James more than I'd care to confess — not just the tour moments but also his touch, the sound of his voice and laughter, the blue in his eyes, and even the warmth of his kisses and the feel of his body against mine.

Being back at my parents' house had its perks: with no job on my plate and studies yet to kick in, I found myself drowning in free time. I dedicated most of it to diving into my studies and building up a solid portfolio in visual arts, gearing up for the application grind at the San Francisco Art Institute. The prospect of being in the same city as Cliff and the guys again had me stoked, but in a genuinely good way — I could barely contain my excitement for things to click into place.

Another thing gobbling up my time was my newfound camaraderie with Charlotte, one of my old high school friends. She’d been pouring her heart into her debut starring role in a theatre play, and I'd been chipping in as an unofficial production assistant, giving me a reason to hang out with her and break free from my parents’ house for a bit. On a bright Wednesday morning, the moment I stepped into the auditorium where the theater troupe was fine-tuning their craft, Charlotte threw me a curveball with an unexpected ask.

“Nore!” she squealed with excitement upon spotting me, rushing over and grabbing my hands in hers. Her green eyes looked almost teary, and her lips formed a small pout. “Thank goodness you're here. Everything's going haywire today, and I'm not sure if we can sort it out!”

“What’s going on, Charlie?” I inquired, intrigued, as I shrugged off my jacket, tossing it onto one of the chairs in the vacant audience area. “Did the dressing room light decide to bail on us again? You know I'm useless with those things.”

“Of course not!” she retorted, indignant, and I released a low chuckle.

“Just pulling your leg. What's up?”

“I need you to act in the play.”

I blinked, puzzled, furrowing my brow as I crossed my arms.

“You... Hold on, what? Charlie, the play is in two weeks.”

“I know!” she sighed, slumping into one of the chairs, defeated. “Why do you think I'm so desperate? One of the actresses can't perform anymore. And now the director wants to cancel the play because we won't be able to find a replacement on time!”

“And you want me to step in.”

“Yeah!”

“In a play that's premiering in fifteen days?”

“Nore, you've always been fantastic in our school's Drama Club…”

“No way, Charlie! How am I supposed to pull that off?”

“Nore, please, please, please?” she clasped my hand in hers, her eyes pleading. “It's my first lead role, I've been rehearsing for months! I promise to help you with the lines, I'll do anything!”

I sighed, resigned.

“Fine. But you owe me one,” I replied, and she let out an excited squeal before hugging me.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! You won't regret it, I promise!”

Well, she was right — I didn't regret it. Actually, practicing for the play turned out to be a lot more fun than I thought. Plus, scoring some free tickets to hand out to my friends and family made me care a bit less about the crazy deadline to cram all those lines into my brain. Charlie and I basically lived in that auditorium for the next few days; I'd roll in there in the morning and wouldn't bail until way into the evening.

When Saturday rolled around, I decided to escape to San Francisco. Stuff for the band was picking up speed after those European shows. After snagging a deal to record the second album at a studio in Denmark, the guys figured a bash was in order to toast to the good news, and obviously, I had to be there. I arranged with my parents to spend the weekend over at Cliff's place with the boys. Luckily, they had some San Francisco business on the horizon, and agreed to drop by and give me a ride back to Long Beach when it was time to head back home.

I let out a sigh as I hit the old house where I used to live with Cliff, Dave, James, and Lars. It was like nothing had changed, memories still stuck in every nook and cranny; the first chats with the guys, James getting less shy as we got tighter, my first kiss with Dave, the first time we slept together, drinking together, smoking together, laughing together, loving together. And it stung, a sharp and dry ache deep in my chest, with the gut feeling that things would never, ever be the same again.

I mixed with the crowd, strolling into the living room; the first familiar face I bumped into was James', whose eyes lit up seeing me, a grin breaking out. He hustled over, grabbing my face and planting a surprise kiss on my lips, leaving me gasping, my face heating up in a flash.

“James!” I blurted out, pupils dilated in shock as I took a step back.

“My bad. Was that a no-go?” he mumbled, a persistent grin suggesting he had no regrets about the kiss. “Just damn happy you showed up.”

“I’m happy to be here too,” I whispered, my face still warm from his gentle touch.

“Geez, you two are such a clingy couple,” Cliff chimed in, coming over. I blushed, pulling James's hands off my face and avoiding eye contact.

“We're not a couple, Cliff,” I muttered, voice low, his comment knotting something strange and uncomfortable in my chest. “Excuse me, I need a drink,” I spun around, heading for the kitchen.

“Nore, hold up,” Cliff tagged along, standing by my side as I raided the fridge for a beer. “What was that just now?”

“Nothing,” I grunted, popping the kitchen door open and stepping into the backyard. Cliff sighed but joined me, leaning against the porch railing.

“Nothing? Seriously? You're not gonna start keeping secrets from me now, after 19 years?” he came closer, tilting his head to be right in my line of sight, impossible to ignore. I sighed, rolling my eyes at his persistence. “Hey. You and James weren't, like, a thing or something?”

“It's not like that,” I grumbled. “It's just... There's just too much going on, Cliff...”

I told him everything then: how James and I had decided to give in to our feelings during the tour, how I’d tried to find Dave after coming back, how everything went wrong, and now I had no clue where he was. And maybe involving James in all this was a mistake because, frankly, with each passing day, I found myself liking him more while still stuck on my feelings for Dave.

“Well, that sucks,” he remarked after I spilled my story, prompting a nervous little laugh from me. “So, you do like James, then?”

“Of course I like him,” I replied, with a resigned sigh.

“You like him, and yet you were upset because he kissed you just now?” he pressed on, and I rolled my eyes.

“Cliff, it's not that simple…”

"No, I get it ain't," he said, sparking up a joint, taking a slow drag before locking eyes with me, dead serious. "I get you still love Dave. I get you're on this quest to find him, and I'm betting it's gonna happen, Nore. You and him, you'll cross paths again 'cause I know you're head over heels for the guy. I'm pretty damn sure you two will work things out. But..." He hesitated, and I shot him a puzzled look. Cliff usually had his words lined up tight. It wasn’t like him to be unsure about anything.

"But?" I prodded, curious. He let out a sigh.

"But things are changing at warp speed for us, Nore," He handed over the joint, and I grabbed it, taking a slow drag. "We're growing up, for crying out loud. I mean, we're about to cut an album in Europe, can you believe that? A year ago, who would've thought? Things are moving quick, do you really wanna skip the chance to catch some happiness along the way? You don't know when you'll stumble upon Dave. No idea how long it'll take to straighten things out with him. Are you gonna keep dodging happiness till then?"

"Cliff, what are you getting at?"

"What I'm getting at, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but fine, what I mean is maybe you should quit fighting what you feel for James. I mean, you liked him before, but let's be real, you rolled back from Europe completely in love with him, didn't you?"

In love. Those words set my face on fire, my heart doing a marathon, and a zillion butterflies doing somersaults in my stomach. My first instinct was to argue with Cliff, but deep down, he wasn't totally off, was he? If I already had a soft spot for James before, now it was more like a full-blown obsession. It felt like a hunger, like I needed him to fill some kind of void inside of me. And somehow, this crazy feeling coexisted with the love I held for Dave, for the empty space he’d left behind. Everything was so damn new that I could barely wrap my head around it, let alone figure out how to handle it.

"I'm not in love with him," I mumbled weakly, and Cliff chuckled, giving me a shoulder hug.

"You're a lousy liar, you know that?" he said, and I rolled my eyes.

"Hey," a familiar voice called, and I glanced up, blushing when I locked eyes with James, propped against the door frame with a beer in hand. "Nore, everything cool?"

"I'm gonna find Lea," Cliff announced, sidestepping and shooting me a suggestive look before leaving me solo with James. I watched him saunter away, feeling my face heat up, and then turned my attention to James, his blue eyes zeroed in on mine.

"You alright? Sorry about that kiss earlier. Didn't mean to upset you," he said, his voice low, stepping close enough for me to sense the heat of his body. His attentive eyes studied my face, as if trying to decode my feelings from my expression. I sighed, my heart racing in a totally new rhythm when he gently cupped my face, resting my hands on his chest as he leaned in.

"James," I murmured, my voice shaking, almost like I was saying his name for the first time. He gave me a slight smile, his gaze zeroing in on my slightly parted lips with poorly disguised desire.

"What?"

"I don't want you thinking I'm here with you just 'cause I haven't tracked down Dave yet."

"I'd never think that," he whispered, edging even closer.

I could feel his heart tapping against my fingertips, a bit quicker now, a subtle blush coloring his cheeks. His blonde eyelashes looked almost see-through in the sunlight, his blue eyes sparkling and locked onto mine, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. I brought my hands up to his face, running my fingers over it slowly. He let out a sigh, lightly shutting his eyes like he'd been waiting for my touch his whole life.

"James," I murmured again, almost like a prayer, and the way I said his name seemed to light up something hungry in him. He yanked me closer, his mouth crashing onto mine with a deep, needy moan. I sighed, trembling, my fingers tangling in his hair as I surrendered to his kiss, the dawning realization that I couldn't resist him any longer.

Actually, that I didn't want to.

He backed off, peppering soft kisses on my lips before resting his forehead against mine. His hands clung to my waist, tugging me close enough for our bodies to touch.

"I think we should head to my room," he murmured, flashing a smile. I chuckled softly, throwing my arms around his neck, and pulled him into another kiss.

✧ if you'd like to be tagged on the next parts, let me know and I'll add you to the tag list! ❤ ✧

tag list: @killazilla777 @whatsupvic @70srogah @genswine9

[royalberryriku]

Kingdom Hearts: Character Analysis — Kairi and Fear

Okay. I think I need to get this off my chest; I actually really deeply love Kairi's entire character and think her lack of strength and action is essential to the themes she embodies (and starting to literally break out of).

While I 100% agree there are some parts of her character that play off of the outdated archetype of "damsel in distress", I genuinely don't think it was the intention for Kairi to embody only this trope, but to embody the opposite of Riku as a character; specifically, his curiosity and lack of fear towards the unknown. To elaborate further, I believe Riku and Kairi are the two extremes that are supposed to contrast to Sora; Kairi's extreme desire for safety and Riku's extreme plunge into danger.

//Note: this will contain spoilers for the entire series, including Melody of Memory, Re:Mind, and every other game that came before it.

The Main Trio

Our initial introduction to Kairi is on dry land, safe from the wave that swallowed Riku and Sora. Sora himself arrives on shore after escaping, while Riku stays within the waves, beyond reach. While this is excellent foreshadowing, I also believe this is symbolic of each character's thematic role when compared to one another. Kairi (meaning ocean) is safely on land, meanwhile Riku (meaning land) is in the waves of the ocean, standing within danger unflinchingly. Sora is tied between the two; between the safety of land (home) and danger (exploration).

In Kingdom Hearts, land is portrayed as "worlds"; the homes of those who live within them, while "ocean" is used to describe the connections between them. From the start, the premise is to build a raft to explore. But the cast all show they have different feelings about this. Namely, Riku and Kairi. Riku is excited, unfazed and unafraid to explore. He's curious, adventurous and confident that they can handle whatever's out there. He believes the ocean beyond and between the undiscovered lands he wishes to explore to have no dangers. Kairi, on the other hand, is his polar opposite; she's unsure if they even should go at all (note: I'm not saying she's against it at all, she wants to go, but she's unsure). Her "laziness" in building the raft, her anxious laugh when Riku says it's because of her he wants to explore what's out there, her telling Sora "I was a little afraid at first, but now I'm ready!" and, most telling of all, one of her first bits of dialogue in the series: "Well, I'm happy here." While she wants to know where she came from, to see it, she has clear reservations about leaving her home behind; the safe place that holds no danger. She's shown being afraid far more than either Sora or Riku.

Sora is in the middle of the two. He wants to go and doesn't understand Kairi's hesitation, but he's also much more relaxed than Riku. Sora follows the two of them and shows both excitement and nervousness to a degree, but never enough to really sway him in the adventure he wants to have with his friends.

"Sora, don't ever change", when compared to "Riku's changed", really puts even more perspective into why she's a scared. Later, we discover Kairi's past may have led to her understanding of the world's dangers, unlike Sora and Riku who didn't have such experiences to go off. That being said, I think another aspect of this fear (perhaps a subconscious fear born from those experiences) is her desire for things to stay the same.

Strength in Change

Kairi isn't going on this journey to go on a life changing adventure, she's just a little curious and wants to stay with he friends. Of what we see of our interactions with her, as the audience, is that she wants the safety and for things to stay the same. The thing is though, as we see with Riku and Sora, change makes people stronger; it challenges our flaws and makes us face our own thoughts and feelings. Change is needed to grow and Kairi is terrified of the thing needed for that. It's not until Kingdom Hearts 2 that she realises that this way of doing things just isn't helping her or keeping anyone (including herself) safe. She's actually harming herself by trying so hard to not allow change to happen. "This world is too small", but Kairi herself wants it to stay small; discovered, known, safe.

While Kairi isn't weak of a person by any means, in fact she's very strong, she is held back. Not by others, but by her own fears and desire for simplicity. She may be strong to start with, but she's unable to become stronger. She is stuck, left behind, as Riku and Sora embrace change and move forward without her as she stays waiting for simplicity and safety to return.

I think the end of Kingdom Hearts starts to push this realisation a little as well. Whether Kairi likes it or not, change has happened already. She can't go back and undo what's been done, she can only accept it or ignore it. The problem is, she's still used to the habits she herself created; wait, don't rush in, run away, hide. She's used to allowing her fears to lead her back into safety, into light and warmth, while not allowing herself to grow as a person. She's clinging desperately to this desire to stay where it feels happy, safe and warm all the time. But the thing is, that's unrealistic. Bad things happen. Sometimes, you encounter things that challenge you and change your, for better or worse. Kairi's weakness itself stems from her resistance to any change that may actually be good for her because she's so afraid of the bad.

She doesn't want to grow, to be an adult, or acknowledge the scary parts of life that are a part of growing up. It's even more telling how she ends up in Neverland of all places when she's thrown off Destiny Islands. She is the most childish of the three, not because of how she acts, but because of her fear of aging into an adult. She wants things to stay simple and pleasent.

It isn't until Kingdom Hearts 3 that she really realises just how impossible it is to cling to not changing. She realises that she needs to face her own fears of change to grow; to become stronger and catch up to Sora and Riku who embraced what she couldn't until now.

Princesses of Heart

There is also another matter I need to bring up; what is a Princess of Heart? It is consistently noted that these are the purest of hearts, but it isn't really stated that this requires them to have absolutely no darkness in their heart whatsoever. I think it's easy to forget this since Maleficent said "Her heart is filled with light—not the slightest touch of darkness." But considering the implications from the rest of the series and the reinforced notion that light cannot exist without a tiny bit of darkness, I believe this was more of a mistake on Maleficent's part, perhaps born of envy for Aurora? It could also easily be a mistranslation, although I do not know Japanese well enough to know whether or not this is a translation issue. Regardless, it's important to remember that "there is darkness within every heart" is a constant theme pushed in this series. There is no person capable of not having any flaws or fears, not even a princess of a heart.

This also goes for Kairi, who we see has clear fears and flaws. Many of which have directly led to her being unable to obtain the strength she sees Sora and Riku having due to them not being held back by the idea that change is inherently a scary and dangerous thing. It's also another interesting opposite to Riku who represents the light within darkness, while Kairi is a heart of light with a lot of darkness deep down.

The Three Questions

At the beginning of the first Kingdom Hearts game, Sora is asked a question from 3 people within the starting dream, each having 3 answers. While it is true that gameplay wise it's there to effect stats based on what answers you give, I think there's a possibility of some foreshadowing as well. Though that's more just speculation on my part. Here are the questions and answers for those who don't remember what they were exactly:

Tidus: "What are you so afraid of?"

"Getting old."

"Being different."

"Being indecisive."

Wakka: "What do you want outta life?"

"To see rare sights."

"To broaden my horizons."

"To be strong."

Selphie: "What's most important to you?"

"Being number one."

"Friendship."

"My prized possessions."

"Getting old", "to be strong" and "my prized possessions" all remind me of Kairi. Her fear of change, her desire to not be helpless and gain strength and, finally, her using objects to project said fears and self doubts onto.

Memories and Objects

As noted in the above, Kairi often uses objects to cope with her fears. Primarily, her good luck charm made of thalassa shells. Although she does also use other items as well; her necklace (memento of her past in Radiant Garden), poetry, letters, etc. These are all great ways to connect and to keep memories close to her using a physical object for this, but they also could be a sign she's also afraid of losing what she has and feels more at ease making physical reminders of the people, places and things she loves.

It's also possible this stems from forgetting her memories of Reading Garden and, as a result, she may fear forgetting those she loves. This could also explain her development in Kingdom Hearts 2, perhaps "remembering" Sora pushed her past her fears upon realising that staying in her safe place (the Islands) and holding onto reminders didn't protect the memories she wanted to cling to.

The first thing she says after things calm down and she's able to talk to Sora is "this is real". It could be that she was afraid that her own memories weren't real enough and she needed that physical reassurance. It's also why she needed to hug him, to understand that it isn't false and it hadn't been taken away. Despite everything, she hadn't forgotten those important to her again.

Interestingly enough, Ventus also shares the exact same coping mechanism, which makes sense given his similarities to Kairi and his own amnesia. This likely lead to him subconsciously seeking reassurance in the same ways Kairi does. This will likely be a huge part of the two's development, or at least, I very much suspect it will be. Ventus was able to grow past it due to his journey and curiousity, but Kairi is still growing and only recently realised that change is okay. Their friendship will likely be what pushes Kairi to become the strongest version of herself and mature into herself.

Journey of Agency

Kairi's hesitation to take control of her own situation and return to the safety of what she knows has unquestionably left her hindered in her desire to stay by the side of Riku and Sora. However, since her memory of Sora being lost and returned, her realisation in Kingdom Hearts 2 and then at the end of Dream Drop Distance and in Kingdom Hearts 3 with her introduction into the same dangers and change she's actively avoided, Kairi has grown. She's realised that waiting and allowing herself to just be led around because it's what been safe before now doesn't mean it'll work when she's being left behind and others are getting hurt trying to protect that self imposed safety. She has to run into danger herself and learn what it means to be independent if she wants to stand by the side of those she loves.

And finally, at the end of her journey in Melody of Memory and reclaiming her lost memories of Radiant Garden, she finally faces exactly that which scares her most; her memories of "Ansem" or Apprentice Xehanort who used her, forced he to lose everything once before and most importantly caused the fear that began everything for her. She's no longer just taking steps now, she's facing what caused it directly. This is probably the most powerful of any development for Kairi, it's what may define if she is able to break free of that fear or become defined by it.

It's also a stark reminder that she's still not where she wants to be, she's still defined by the weakness of being left behind due to her own fears. That's why, at the very end when she chooses to start training with Aqua, it's shown that Kairi finally chooses to change. She finally wants to become more than what she's limited herself to; she's finally ready to face her own weaknesses and grow.

Kairi's development could very well lead her to being the one to really push the narrative with the coming arc. While Sora and Riku are struggling with their own flaws (which I'll explain in a different post), Kairi will start to move forward. That being said, I think it's only because of the slow development of learning that what she was doing was harming her and ultimately leaving her behind and alone. I think this will also be a vital theme in the current arc where the main villains goal is to destroy darkness; Kairi's realisation that her own pain and fear were part of her growth may very well be the key in stopping him. Though that's just my own suspicions, not what canon has presented us with at this stage.

Conclusion.

Regardless, I for one am excited to see where Kairi's development goes. Her self discovery is fascinating and her arc is very different to the character arcs I've seen. Her entire story is compelling and I think Kairi's depth is something easily overlooked because of its starting atypical themes and structure (running from change and thus being weaker, rather than growing in strength after adversities). I think her journey of how to even start growing stronger when you're stuck frozen in fear is an important and powerful message, it's also just extremely interesting. I love Kairi so much and I hope this helps people look more closely at her characterisation.

[boosaot]

While not a perfect person I dont think Jieun deserves to be painted as a horrible person,,

(the real villains of SfH are Jaeho and Goeun 😤)

Long post sorry 💀 hope it makes sense

I’ve seen people imply that she’s a bad gf because she’s leading on Jaeho, rude when Jongwoo tries to reach out for help/support, selfish and what not,,

She has a boss that walks over her, invites her to after-work dinners and gossips about her behind her back, forces her to pick up her bf’s calls as some sort of power play and singles her out by watching her like a hawk for any mistakes she can scold her for.

She’s far from respected and she thinks that maybe it’ll get better if she just keeps her head down and is cooperative. However foolish that line of thought is what else can she do? Quit? Im sure finding a new job is easy-peasy /sarc.

I do agree that her lashing out at Jongwoo isn’t appropriate behaviour but if my memory serves me correctly I do think she apologizes to him for it.

-

I find it extremely unfair for people to assume Jieun is reciprocative to Jaeho’s affections in anyway. He’s just a manipulative bastard who uses Jieun’s worry and love for Jongwoo as an excuse to hang out with her. Him making gross comments about Jieun to Jongwoo isn’t her fault either.

I truly believe that from her P.O.V Jaeho is a friend of Jongwoo who is worried about him and wants to be there to help. She doesnt know that Jaeho is trying to emasculate Jongwoo by trying to make it look like Jongwoo can’t provide the support Jieun needs.

Jaeho’s snide comments and manipulative behaviour are too subtle for Jongwoo to call it out without it looking like he’s reading too deep into it. Same goes for Jieun and her boss Goeun.

During the scene above i can see how it may look like Jieun is trying to get Jongwoo to concede to Jaeho but Jongwoo is truly acting aggressive. Jieun is genuinely worried about his sudden change in behaviour.

I don’t blame Jongwoo for getting mad at Jaeho whatsoever. Jaeho conceals his true motives and feelings under the guise of wanting to help Jongwoo. He only does this because it makes him look better because hes “standing by his friend despite his anger issues, look he even gracefully got him a job”. Everything Jaeho does for Jongwoo is something that can boost his own ego and public perception.

-

From Jieun’s perspective she might assume that Jongwoo is stressed out from moving from the countryside to Seoul and is on edge in a new environment. She tries to reassure him but I will admit that it comes off as dismissive on his end because we know the reality of his situation.

Let’s be real here, its not like you see people move into apts full of murderers every day. It’s such an inconceivable concept to Jieun that she assumes Jongwoo is just sensitive due to stress.

Even after being warned about them she still goes in the building and sees for herself that “hey these people aren’t so bad” because they’re putting on a front to her.

The only way that Jieun could fully grasp how evil the people at Eden are is if she lived there but never in a billion years would Jongwoo want to endanger her that way. He wouldn’t want to have his gf hurt just to make a point.

-

If I look at it from Jieun’s perspective I 99.9% believe that she’s within her right to be behaving the way she does.

-

However i do think that their relationship would’ve started to decline anyways as soon as Jongwoo moved to Seoul. Moving put him in a bad financial situation just so he could be closer to Jieun.

Jongwoo would most likely feel inadequate due to being unable to take her out on proper dates and do couple things. This wouldn’t be helped by Jaeho’s behaviour and snide comments.

The lack of communication and time for eachother would most likely be the downfall to their relationship.

-

(However in my heart they break up and Jieun gets to be all happy and frolic in a field while Moonjo gets to keep Jongwoo’s crazy-ass)

[stars-and-clouds]

Why Astarion Will Not Betray Tav

Spoilers for all of Baldur’s Gate 3, EA, patch 8:

Note: This post was written in Oct ‘22, patch 8 Early Access of Baldur’s Gate 3.

This post started as a 'Astarion isn't as bad as you might think' post but turned into an analysis of him xD

I have found a lot of people thinking Astarion would be the evil one of the party down the road but I really disagree. I made this character analysis to see how likely he is to do so and/or break your heart. If anyone, it is probably Gale or Wyll who will betray us, in my opinion, or at least not a high approval Astarion. I tried being as objective as I could while also not trying to be outright dismissive/having opposition bias. Hope this helps people understand him a bit more, and do respectfully correct me if I have made an error.

So here is why I think Astarion will not end up breaking your heart, but it is plausible that he may leave you through your own choices in the story, especially related to his part in it:

Emotional Character Sketch

Astarion's honesty and vulnerability-

“Oh please, you think I’m the only one with secrets? At least you know there’s something I’m not telling you.”

Out of all the companions so far, Astarion is the one who has been the most open and vulnerable with us. He told us he's not only a vampire but a vampire’s slave, he told us his master's name, where Cazador lives, he was vulnerable with the hunter and he trusts you with the situation (who you can actually set lose on him. So, you can put his life in danger with the knowledge he has given you. No one who has a grand scheme of betraying you does that), he showed you his markings which is something deeply traumatic for him, and he let you in about one of his insecurities- his appearance. Imagine being vain and insecure and then being unable to do anything about it because you can't look at yourself. He shared that with you. Compared to this, the other companions share precious little, nothing big enough to put their life in your hands. You can't betray any of the companions so early on in the story, but you can betray Astarion. If anything, he comes off as a red herring to me.

Astarion is honest about his transgressions and openly enjoys evil acts like murder and malicious trickery, even if it leads to people being seriously hurt. Unlike Gale and Wyll who constantly try to come off as good guys, almost like they're trying to convince everyone around them (and themselves) that they're noble-hearted. Astarion is openly greedy as well. My point is, he is more honest about his shortcomings than anyone else, the only one like this is Lae’zel. So, even in the event that he does decide to leave you, it will not be a betrayal, you'd know it's coming because he would not hide it. Think about it, the guy straight up attacked the gur hunter mid-conversation when we could've sneak attacked him like, you know, a rogue. He is too on edge all the time to play the sneaky, slow game. He never feels safe enough to sit and scheme about.

Feelings for Tav-

"I want to know what the world sees when it looks at me. (in a small voice, looking sheepish) What you see."

He really wants to know if you find him attractive in the mirror cutscene. Almost seems hesitant at first, brushing you away but then pleading you to stay and push himself to ask for your help and opinion. That entire sequence seems like a long winded way of him sneakily asking you if you find him attractive or not. He really cares what you think and if you're attracted to him.

Part of me thinks he genuinely does like Tav and has liked them ever since they met. He says it (at least to my knowledge) three times in three different instances that he thinks there is a connection between them, a spark and he knows we have felt it too. This is why when he says he's been 'waiting to have (Tav),' since he 'first set eyes on (Tav),' before they make love for the first time, he really means it. (Or it could also be that he is very very good at seduction, something he learnt over two centuries by working for Cazador). He holds himself back to not lose control and hurt you when you make love for the first time, he also says he doesn't want bite you without your permission, he just wants to have fun and feel good together.

I reckon what he appreciates is Tav's intelligence (as he likes to outsmart people himself) and survivalist abilities (compliments it twice, 1. saying Tav is ‘quite the ally’ and 2. how Tav has survived everything that has come so far, which has impressed him) as he is extremely survivalist himself (as shown by his disapproval of choosing to take the poison from the druid healer). He wants to live, no matter what and take revenge on Cazador.

Astarion, Tav and Sex:

(Speculation) 

As I wrote in my sexual character sketch of him, I don't think he takes sex lightly either, he likes to show that it isn't a big deal to him (as he does with everything else) but I doubt sex is just another fun physical activity to him. I don't think he's had the chance to be sexual in the past two hundred years and you're not only his first non-bestial feed, but also his first proper sexual partner since he's been a vampire. Maybe he was molested as a slave, I don't put that past Cazador, but molestation does not equate to sexual experience. So, I don't think he has even had sex in the last two hundred years or so he's been Cazador's slave. It is possible that he was involved with other slaves I don't know of them or what their 'social life' would have been like, if any. Maybe he did have sex with other slaves, maybe Cazador made him do sexual things to others, I don't know; but to conclude, I really doubt he has had a choice in anything sexual in the last two centuries and fast forward to his first taste of freedom, he meets us. Doubt he had time for sex between then and now.

(Not speculation) 

He values sex, especially with Tav, because he is also genuinely annoyed when you tell him you're sleeping with someone else during the party, telling you sarcastically to enjoy your fun and to 'piss off,' while grimacing and looking away, while in the same breath saying he's not jealous. It comes across as if he is really offended and hurt that you chose someone else, not him. Especially if he really believes you share a special connection (that is not just the tadpole lel); he is upset that you didn't feel the same way he did because he certainly had hopes. It could also be that his pride is hurt.

Another reason I think he doesn't believe in the 'it's just sex,' philosophy is that when you tell him 'it's just sex, nothing serious,' he will reply by saying, 'serious or not, it's something,'. Also, he does not assume that having sex for fun won't change anything. He will start calling you 'lover' after your first time together and if you offer sex while you're called for by some other companion he would say 'we'll end tonight as friends,' because to him, you'd stop being friends and change into, well, lovers if you have sex. He clearly thinks there is value in the activity and he cherishes it, hence drawing you in, making you wait for it instead of just shagging you in the bushes (another idea he throws shade at indirectly when you refer to having sex with Shadowheart). He can be sentimental it would seem. 

His sentimentality-

"Will this little adventure of ours be over?... Good. I don't want you to run off just yet"

Very early on in the adventure, he will start questioning what it will be like when you get rid of your tadpoles, as he looks at the stars. He questions if you and he will go their separate ways after that and it's clear he doesn't want to, either for practical reasons as he says you're a powerful ally and he 'still has need of (Tav),' or he's attached since he is lonely and you've shown him the respect that he hasn't been given in a long long time.

When you give him your blood he says it is a gift, a gift he will not forget.

He doesn't even consider killing you and the companions when the book of necromancy asks him to. The second remark about 'well, maybe, (companion name),' seems to be one of his jokes because he doesn't act upon it, especially if he says Shadowheart’s name as they both don't seem to get along at all, but it seems like a sarcastic jab more than a threat. A vampire, who is usually a lawful evil, would have done whatever the book said on principle, without question.

Someone who does betray you is Gale and might do so even going forward, a good guy who is really just hiding secrets that could harm everyone. If you don't give Gale artefacts to consume, he will go ahead and make a deal with Raphael without any prior discussion or hinting at it to you and then shit-talk you like he is throwing a tantrum whilst threatening to leave your party. Astarion himself is tempted to make the deal with Raphael on the fever night but he doesn't, he goes to ‘bed’ without doing so despite how extremely he believes in not dying. He probably does it because he considers it the same thing as being with Cazador, but the point here is he lets you know he was even thinking of it, Gale did not. Especially when Gale approves of you not taking the deal IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Astarion will be offended when you say you want someone else to end you if the tadpole takes over. He’ll say, 'Oh, I see how it is,' with an angry face. The guy is offended you don't trust him to do it well and that you chose someone else over him.

Despite himself, Astarion constantly wants safety and comfort, another reason he wants to be in the group is because there is safety in numbers and Astarion is extremely survivalist. He wants to hope but due to his abusive past, he cannot let it happen, actively pushing you away, saying 'I don't need anything from you,' when you try to comfort him. This is usually a cry for help from abuse victims. It is the feeling of being torn between needing help to get out of your bad situation and also fear of being betrayed by those you trusted.

He is not mindlessly cruel-

He has a very clear line between who should and shouldn't be hurt. Which is strange for a vampire. He does not want to hurt innocents (he disapproves when you want to hurt the entire world i.e innocents with your tadpole power; he also earnestly says he won't harm an innocent while trying to feed, only bandits and our foes as they were going to die anyway). 

Anyone who digs their own grave can die suffocating, according to him but if helpless or 'innocents,' are hurting he wants to help them. I think he truly believes he was innocent when taken slave and is salty that no one came to help him, (”The strong had two centuries to pluck me from torture, but no one came”) which is why he supports helping Mayrina who was tricked by a hag, and not the tieflings who seem more than capable of helping themselves. One could say that he really did dig his own grave by choosing to be Cazador's spawn but he said that he did not know what accepting his offer of vampirism entails (i.e being a half-vampire slave), like a deal with the devil only the devil seems like a helpful samaritan- this would put him in the exact position as Mayrina's. Even if that isn't the case, what matters is he believes he's innocent and doesn't want others to go through what he did. The only exception to innocent argument, in my opinion, is that he is racist towards Goblins and other humanoid creatures, he considers Ogres and Goblins disgusting and won't risk his skin for them (but racism against them seems to be quite prevalent throughout this world amongst everyone, so this isn’t special to him).

"We killed some Goblins to save some tieflings. The tally of the lives didn't change much."

Another thing I'd like to address is the argument of how he enjoys the goblin path more than the tieflings’ path is because he is evil and hurting tieflings brings him joy. But, he enjoys killing in the tiefling path as much as the goblin path. There is no difference according to him because the body count remains the same, as he says. In my opinion, it was all the tiefling blood he could drink (he can actually get drunk off blood) and the open hedonism (vampires are hedonistic by nature) at the party with the goblins. Whereas the tiefling path was clean, no blood to drink and he was being lauded as a hero, which he hates. He hates virtue signalling. He wants to come off as evil with a devil-may-care attitude because he thinks that is what true power is, that is the only power he's known all his vampiric life through Cazador. He thinks truly powerful people can do anything and get away with it, “you can’t look at the world and tell me I am wrong”. This brings me to his bravado.

Astarion's bravado-

He wants to come off as a suave, smooth-talking, selfish rogue who cannot be trusted. He tells you that he would be disappointed in you if you trusted him, but he already trusts you himself. When you sell him out to the gur hunter, he is genuinely surprised and seems to be a bit torn up that you betrayed him. This could just be an expectation of one-sided loyalty that most narcissists have but Astarion is not a narcissist.

He is a massive liar, but his face always gives it away. He lies about having an enticing dream when he actually dreamt of Cazador having found him and recounting his commandments to him. He lies that he needs your blood because he is weak, but he actually needs to feed on a thinking creature to check whether or not he can break his master's command of 'thou shall not drink of thinking creatures'. He is elated not only from the taste but also that he can actually disobey his slaver. All of these are things he is scared to admit because he is wary of being taken advantage of.

He tries avoiding the past instead of thinking upon it, he does not like brooding but it clearly affects him every waking moment. He gets mad at us exhuming his past when he is still defined by it. He likes to show, or perhaps even think himself, that he has moved on from it and looks to the future but all of his actions are only about taking revenge. Revenge is always about being stuck in the past.

He will shirk off all of your attempts to console him while appreciating at the same time when you suceeed a pursuation check to pursuade him to share details about himself (another characteristic of lonely and cynical people, they want to be sure the person really cares and thus want to be encouraged to talk about themselves).

Why he is not just manipulating and seducing you-

If he was manipulating you, he would approve of even the choices you make that he disagrees with. He would not say he doesn't want to sleep with you, even on low approval, because sex is one of the surest ways to manipulate people and that will ensure a place for him in your party and your support. He seems to make a choice of it depending on how much he likes you, so I don’t usually agree with the theory that he is seducing you because he needs you.

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Other Miscellaneous Notes:

He is not a good boy-

All of this shouldn't suggest he is a nice boy. He's sensitive but still a bad boy. I am still new to D&D so my knowledge isn't as extensive, but I know the vampires in forgotten realms are inherently evil, they can't help it. Astarion simply doesn't have a choice but to perform and revel in the evil things he does, it's in his nature. He enjoys cruelty, murder and hedonism. I would place Astarion as a Chaotic Evil at his worst and Chaotic Neutral at his best.

note: I would like to mention, alignments are only guidelines however and no real person ever acts only inside their alignments in any story, that makes them boring and Astarion is the best-written character in bg3 so far. He is very conflicted between a lot of his own aspects and that includes going against his nature.

Romance going bad-

If I imagine a typical evil vampire romance, by textbook definition, he will get possessive and jealous over Tav. He will forcefully convert them to a vampire or spawn so that he doesn't have to spend eternity alone if they die. He will become extremely paranoid over their safety and might suffocate them with extreme affection and obsession. Dark Desire does that to vampires, it twists every emotion for the worst and extreme. 

note: But we have already seen that Astarion doesn't completely follow these attributes. Maybe they work differently in a story than in a campaign (I do not know anything about BG1 and BG2). (see- vampire lore v/s Astarion’s character conflicts below)

Can he be redeemed?-

I am usually not a big fan of redemption arcs but I do like some of them when the characters having it makes sense for their stories. Does it make sense for Astarion? It's too early to tell to be honest. 

But so far, he has shown signs of not liking that he's a vampire. In fact, I think he really dislikes it.

Some examples are below:

He says eternity is much longer than he expected it to be when you ask him about his past.

He gets sad when he says he can't even remember his face, having never seen it since he became a vampire, his face is just a dark shape in his past. Then he gets angry, throws the mirror away and says, "...another thing I've lost"

When you’re in the underdark, he cites appreciation for being in the sun saying, "I'd much rather be outside, with the sun on my skin." 

He misses his home or is at least curious about his past life (ref: the mirror in the cellar).

He also says he misses being able to look at himself, “Preening in the looking glass? Petty vanity? Of course, I miss it.”

He misses the taste of wine, it can be assumed he had a great love for fine spirits as he compares the taste of different blood types to different alcohols, which also shows he likes reminiscing upon his past. 

In contrast to this, he has never shown to have pride over being a vampire. He appreciates the power that comes from it but there is no passion or pride in him for being an undead.

How I think he can be redeemed (if possible)-

"Vampires are usually the result of a dark pact and while the mortal may not make the deal with the goal of becoming a vampire in mind the dark powers they've negotiated with cares little and only seeks to sow as much evil and strife within the world as a result of such a deal."

So, what if Astarion is promised to some entity by Cazador and that is what his marks are for? They are written in infernal. What if we can bargain with the entity for Cazador instead and bring Astarion back to life through other means? This could be a path to possibly ‘redeeming’ Astarion and making him a human again. 

Monster Manual page 295 has a sidebar "Player Characters as Vampires" that explains that vampirism is reversed in two ways:

-A wish spell

-Killing the character and bringing them back to life through revivify. (source, Reddit comment)

So if a situation arises that gives us the opportunity to do either of these things, I suppose we can bring Astarion back to life and make him an elf again. That is how I think he can be ‘redeemed’ because I do not see any other way for him to be a good vampire within the lore constraints, which may not be entirely an issue to be fair. (see- vampire lore v/s Astarion’s character conflicts below)

I also think, the book of necromancy he is so keen on reading will reveal him secrets about making Cazador alive again and hence weaker than him, or he will himself want to become alive after defeating Cazador.

note: I admit I think this would put a damper on people wanting to be his vampire queen/king but being a vampire in this world is not as romantic as it is in other fantasy worlds. The D&D guides even go as far as saying playing as a vampire is difficult because you truly have to be evil and make evil choices, that you should start as a spawn and then move on to becoming a true vampire over the campaign as it would be a very difficult being to play.

Astarion’s Past (Speculation according to 5e lore)-

Reference

note- Vampirism lore from The Forgotten Realms seems to be scarce but Astarion seems to follow some of the 5th edition rules so I'm assuming this reference is cool for theory crafting.

According to vampire lore, he could have been an okayish person in his life, not too good, not too bad. Maybe he was a true neutral.

"When a vampire comes into being they don't behave like the people they were in life. They are inverted, the chaste becoming temptresses, the kind becoming cruel, the once holy now finding glory in perversion. All their once positive qualities are specifically inverted to form a more personalized evil."

According to this description, it is viable to believe that he was true neutral as an elf because I think he is chaotic evil/neutral as the undead. That would be its evil inversion, would it not?

I have issues with this description as it is very vague and weird as ‘inverted’ suggests the good will become bad, bad will become good and neutral might stay neutral.

note: again, I would like to point out that alignments are just guides, no character or person truly ever acts only within their alignment.

- Conflicts between vampire lore and Astarion’s behaviour in-game:

"Inhuman, merciless, and uncaring about their earlier life."

This is very curious to me because we already know Astarion longs for his home and when we ask about his past life he gets sad, saying he doesn't remember. As stated above, he does already miss being a human and seems to dislike being a vampire.

“The vast majority of vampires are lawful evil, and none but the greenies attempt to maintain their inner humanity and remain even a neutral, let alone a good one.”

This is interesting because according to him, until Tav, Astarion was a greenie as in he didn't feed from thinking beings. (Did we lead him down the bad path? Lol). So he could have actively tried to retain some of his humanity and morality while under Cazador for all those years.

"Greed can be considered to be the warped form of charity. A generous cleric who becomes a vampire may acquire a taste for the blood of those whose mouths they once fed out of their own pocket. Luring them in with their known charity only to drain them of their lives and possesses."

This is interesting because Astarion is extremely greedy. So perhaps he was a generous noble?

(Spoilers for unreleased content): 

The above speculation seems unlikely because, from the PAX East Gameplay Reveal, we know that he was a corrupt magistrate. He would pass out false sentences to feed people to Cazador for money. Seems that his greed has passed down from his real life to his vampiric life too. This seems to be a big oversight as 5e D&D guide has a table on how each good attribute is twisted in the afterlife for the worse.

It seems that Astarion is not a typical vampire and may not follow all the evil requirements of being a vampire. It could also be the tadpole but he exhibits behaviours that seem to be coming from a deeper sense of self formed over years and not just a new personality developed within days since the tadpole's infection.

End note:

Warning- here be big spoilers for Dragon Age: Inquisition characters.

I do not want it to sound like Astarion will never leave your side or that he'll support you through anything because he won't. He already doesn't, he openly disapproves of your noble choices. But he will not backstab you like Solas or Iron Bull did in Dragon Age: Inquisition. If he decides to leave you, it'll be through either your own betrayal (like setting the hunter upon him) or you both having differences in goals. Astarion's only goal is beating Cazador, if you don't support that, he will leave you. I really think it will be that simple. If anything, it might be like Sera leaving the inquisition upon differences in ideals.

Another way he could leave is through the inability to control the tadpole or his markings or Cazador somehow having control over him again.

[shinestarhwaa]

I've noticed the very up-beat and positive, horny prompts you've been receiving lately and I'm here to ruin that with my dark, mysterious and jaded presence.

Can I pls request...

dom!hongjoong+ sex after breakup+ dacryphilia (crying during sex)+ 'please, just give it to me for tonight'

Do your best to shatter my heart, I'm looking forward to it :)

Oh my my my, you and your dark requests...haha jk, I thought this was very interesting so I hope I did well and made you enjoy it sweetie &lt;3

ONE LAST TIME || KIM HONGJOONG

Genre: Smut, Angst

Pairing: Hongjoong x Fem reader

Word Count: 1.5K

Tags/Warnings: soft dom!Hongjoong, dacryphilia, sex after breakup, fingering, unprotected sex

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @1-800-shedevil @glintneon123

ENJOY!

It had been a rough few weeks on your own. Hongjoong moved out and collected almost all of his stuff. It was wrecking you that things didn't work out between you but him leaving was for the best; right person wrong time as they say.

It was 8PM and he was coming to pick up the last box of his belongings and you were dreading it, wondering if it would be the last time you'd see him. Just as you stood up to just wander around again the doorbell rang. He was here.

You rushed into the hall and opened the door, revealing your ex-boyfriend Hongjoong. He looked annoyingly gorgeous. He dyed his hair brown and he had his selfmade jacket on, the jacket you've worn so many times before. But you never would again.

"Hi," you spoke, opening the door further so he could step in, into his old home. "Hi, Y/N," he said softly. There was a weird kind of tension between you two and it was clear you were both still not okay after your break-up.

"Your hair is brown," you noticed as you fidgeted with the anti-anxiety ring on your finger. The ring he got you for your anxiety a few months ago. Did you have to throw this out now too? His gifts?

"Yeah, yeah it is, I dyed it 2 weeks ago," he nodded, taking off his shoes before walking into the livingroom. You followed him and pointed at the box of his belongings. "That's it, I believe, I checked the house," you stated. Hongjoong looked in the box and nodded. "Yes, that seems about right, thank you."

"If I may ask...," you began, hesistance in your voice, "where do you live now?" "I... I am still sleeping on Seonghwa's couch," he confessed, seemingly embarrassed, "but I'm trying to find my own apartment actually."

Your heart broke a little, wishing you could take him into your arms and take care of him again, but there was no use, your relationship was as dead as a withering flower. It hurt you so much, and you knew that would last for a while. You did not want your relationship with him to be a lesson, you wanted it to be love.

"Do you want some coffee?" You offered after being silent for a while. He hesitated but then nodded and sat on the couch. Maybe it was stupid, taking care and keeping him in your old shared home, just for a little longer, just a little longer before saying goodbye. It was hard saying goodbye to a person you had never imagined to say goodbye to.

You poured coffee into Hongjoong's old mug. It was originally yours, the blue one with graphic lines on it, but when you got a house together it was his standard mug. Some things never change.

Hongjoong smiled and thanked you when you put the mug on the coffeetable in front of him. Was he being genuine? Was he okay? You kept wondering and asking yourself what was good, what was right to do, but you decided to play dumb.

"I can't believe how quickly we went from everything to nothing," he remarked, startling you. Your heart started to beat loudly in your chest as you looked him in his eyes.

"I wouldn't say we went to... nothing," you spoke softly, "feelings don't just disappear just because it didn't work out." Hongjoong nodded. "You're right."

"How have you been?" He asked, brushing a hand through his hair. "Shit," you admitted as you sat next to him. "I don't wanna say it but I do miss you, I miss what we were and I hate sleeping alone."

"Me too," he nodded, "I get cold." You nodded. He used to call you his personal heater when he got cold at night. You weren't anymore.

"I still crave you," you sighed. "You crave me?" He asked, looking into your eyes. "We went from loving every night to nothing... there is nothing I miss more than your body on mine."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you thought of the fact that he'd never touch you again. He'd never make love to you again. What a tragedy. "I miss that too," Hongjoong admitted. You sighed deeply and shook your head. "Stop saying that Joong."

"But it's true... I do miss it... I miss the way your skin felt on mine... the way you sound... the way you clenched when you-" "Don't say it," you stopped him, closing your eyes and biting your lip. "The way you clenched on my cock, when you're cumming," he continued, "the way your breasts bounced when you ride me, the way you looked up at me when you got on your knees for me, the way you got so wet for me when I-"

Hongjoongs' hand slid over your thigh and cupped your crotch, making you shiver and tremble. "When I moaned out your fucking name... Y/N," he spoke in a voice way too sensual for a broken up couple. You shouldn't do this, you knew that, but how could you slap that hand away, when it was making you feel so good between your thighs?

"Please, give it to me, just tonight," you whimpered. "What did you say?" "Use me again, give it to me, one last time, and fuck me, hard and deep, make me yours one last time," you said, tears nearly rolling down your cheeks. Hongjoong nodded as he worked his fingers into your panties as your skirt rode up your thighs. Your cunt was damp from just feeling his fingers, how embarrassing.

His middle- and index finger pumped inside your cunt the way they always did and it was good; so good. Hongjoong made you feel things no one ever could, no lover ever made you cum in this shaky, toecurling way. He knew your body like no one else did and he wouldn't forget it. Never.

"Hongjoong!" You moaned out as you arched your back. You leaned against the soft cushions on the couch that Hongjoong once bought. His fingers moved rapidly and found your g-spot, hitting and massaging it repeatedly as his fingers curled just right.

"That's right baby, cum on my fingers," he smirked as he felt your pussy clench. You hated to admit how fast he made you cum, every time. His body worked magic, you were sure.

You clenched hard and came, came loudly, his name rolling off your lips like a mantra. He took his fingers out of you and licked them off before taking you to the bedroom that you once shared. You both took off your clothes as you shared a heated, messy kiss.

Hongjoong felt the familiar sheets on his naked body when he laid on top of you. It smelled just like it always had, but the picture of you and him in the forest had disappeared.

He pumped his rigid cock a few times before sliding it into your awaiting sex, legs spread for him like always. Hongjoong moaned out your name when he felt your walls welcome him, and he swore he didn't wanna leave. Your hands ran over his back, feeling his soft skin underneath your fingertips.

"Please," you whimpered, begging him to move his cock inside you. Hongjoong listened and rocked his hips into yours, cock sliding in and out of you at a fast pace. Your whines and groans got louder gradually as his thrusts got more rough.

The grip of his hands on your hips nearly hurt, but it hurt so good. The pounding of his cock into your pussy made the most sinful squelching and clapping sounds anyone's ever heard, breath heavy and rough.

You felt tears roll down your cheeks this time, no longer able to hold in your sadness. Hongjoong kept ramming his dick inside you, making you moan loudly for him as the bed shook violently.

"Hongjoong!" You cried, sniffling and holding onto his hovering body. "I got you, I got you," he breathed out, but it was a lie. He didn't have you. He threw you away, even.

Why did you have to choose suffering? Why didn't you send him away? Your heart ached while your body felt so good, and before you knew it you were coming hard, clenching roughly on his cock.

Hongjoong moaned out and came as he felt your body tremble. He rode out your orgasms and pulled out of you, admiring the mess he made on your pussy, just for a little while.

He then stood up and put his clothes back on. You cried in your pillow, not wanting it to end. "Y/N, I..."

"Go, I said ...just tonight... one last time... please... I... just go," you whispered. There was no point in pretending it would ever work. There was no point in him pretending to care.

So you send him off, with an ache in your chest. Maybe you deserved better, a true lifelong lovestory. But you wanted him. What a tragedy.