#and its the dichotomy of you Will remember me and no one will remember me when they look back like. what the fuck everrrrr pete

[thekidsarentalright]

i’ve got an obsession with legacy

[ahomeboyslife post (august 2010) / centuries / pete journal entry (october 2007) / flu game]

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

mentioned my dad was alive the same time mao zedong died and some guy went 'he must have had a shit childhood then!!!' shut the fuck up.

[raspberryjellybrains]

I've been thinking a lot lately about Delirium and the way she speaks. She talks around a concept, never hitting it head on but glancing off through a series of metaphors and related concepts that explain things far better than wording them straight might. It's very relatable, and I think that's why I like her; that's how I think.

To me, the world isn't composed of precisely defined concepts but a series of interconnected existences which can all, ultimately, be related to each other. I also experience things in the incredibly specific manner Delirium seems to. I have sensitivities largely untethered from aversions, meaning that while I don't often find things deeply unpleasant or intolerable, I still experience them with an unusual specificity which often defies concise explanation. The best way I can convey certain feelings or experiences is through other feelings, experiences, and concepts to weave together a series of approximations that through their similar and dissimilar traits narrow down to what I'm trying to describe. Delirium does this too, and it's treated as a part of her that's no better or worse than any other. There are those that don't understand and those that do, and those that at least try to are awarded for their efforts because finally and most importantly, she genuinely has something to say. Her speech patterns are deceptively rambling because she takes a long time to say what she means to say, while simultaneously saying exactly it.

Delirium is neurodivergent coded in such a cathartic way because of this. I feel her frustration and joy because I know what it's like to be the person trying to explain something that has no words to assign, asking all of the time if there's a word for what she's feeling as a rhetorical and genuine question so that she can explain something without explaining it and call into question why we feel everything must be precisely laid in the place of as few words as possible. She is incredibly intelligent, but loses track of all of what's happening in a far more obvious way than most because there's just so much to keep track of, which is also very relatable as a neurodivergent person. Without putting labels on the experience, she perfectly captures it. I just... I like Delirium quite a lot, and think she'd be very good at post-modern literature.

[gaberoothekangaroo]

oh man. rip. i had Thoughts in the tags. apparently theres a limit to tags. code ate like 2/3 of my thoughts. and i have 0% confidence in fandom participation that id be willing to write those thoughts up and either add them to the post or make my own post. so now i look like a tool with 1/3 of my unfinished thoughts on a small note post. serves me right for being up at 5/6am lmfao i guess

[rememberwren]

A Dichotomy of Thought || 8

Previous/Next Chapters Here

Poker Night

CW: non-consensual drugging, date rape drugs, non-con, dub-con, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, homophobia, slut-shaming, food control, fat-shaming, vomit.

-

He pops the tab on the soda can, the sound of aluminum grating against your frayed nerves. You sit at the table, hands tucked under your thighs because all you want to do is wrap them around yourself, hold yourself, feel a comforting touch, even if it’s only your own. He brings the soda over and sets it gently on the table in front of you.

It is Saturday morning. 

“I know last week wasn’t fair to you,” your boyfriend says, planting both hands on the table, the picture of rationality. “I don’t like keeping secrets from you. I’d like to think we’re past that point in our relationship. Don’t you?” 

You nod, teeth clenched tight around a scream. 

“So from now on—” he holds up a pill for you to see, then slips it through the open soda tab into the drink. He slides the drink forward toward you at the table. “No more slipping things in your drink without you knowing. From now on, you get to make the choice. Don’t misunderstand me. It’s going to happen either way. The sooner you get used to that, the better. What you get to control is whether you have a good time…or a bad time. So what’s it going to be honey? Good or bad?” 

You hesitate for a long moment. Your fingers are numb when you untuck them from beneath your thighs, trembling as you reach out for the soda—

—and tip it over onto its side, a sign of defiance. 

His placid mouth stretches into a wide grin. Soda drips off the edge of the table and onto the floor. Drip, drip drip. 

“Now,” he says cheerfully. “Why was I hoping you’d choose that?” 

-

It is Saturday morning.

He pops the tab open on a can of your favorite soda, pulled chilled from the refrigerator. Warm is best; it helps the pill dissolve faster, more thoroughly. But when the drink is icy cold, you are less likely to taste the bitterness on your tongue. If you try hard, you can pretend that it is your very first Saturday, that you have just been handed a drink by your boyfriend, that you have no idea what is in it. 

“We’ve got extra guests tonight,” he says, sliding the soda can to you. “I want you on your best behavior.” 

“I always am,” you mutter. 

“That’s just not true. Don’t bullshit me, baby. When you bullshit me, you bullshit the best.” He slides the drink toward you a little more, eyes dark and curious, wondering if you will drink this concoction that makes you relaxed and pliable, this drink that makes you enjoy the terrible things that are done to you. 

But Simon and Johnny will be there tonight. You glare up at your boyfriend and slide the soda back across the table. “You wouldn’t. Not in front of the new guys. I’m not stupid.” 

“Baby. You’re dumber than you look if you think I won’t do whatever I want in front of whomever I want,” he says with a laugh. He slides the drink back. “Next time you push that away, I’m dumping it down the sink. Make good choices.”

You almost do it for him. You really do. A part of you is sure that he’s bluffing; it just makes no sense. Why would he put himself at risk this way? But there’s a small frightened part of you that is always ready to be surprised, always ready to be taken to a new low, dragged to a fresher hell by these hands which were meant to love you. Maybe he would do it.

And is it worth it to defy him? You remember that one miserable Saturday after you had dumped the drink over. It had been one of the most painful, humiliating experiences of your life. Your Fridays afterward were often spent agonizing over the decision to come: was it worse to give in and drink? Did it make you wrong to not fight back, to even sometimes find moments of begrudging pleasure in your own rape? Did it make you weak? 

The thought of being like that in front of Johnny and Simon—soft and slurred and slutty—makes you feel…strange. You don’t want to think about it. The other side of the sword is just as sharp: if you don’t drink, you will be painfully aware of everything that happens to you, aware of Johnny and Simon’s participation—or their impending disgust. 

What is worse? 

Reaching out, you take the can with a shaking hand and go to tip it over—then change your mind at the last moment. You drink it down in its entirety, letting it fill your hollow, aching belly, even if the sugar makes you nauseous. 

Your boyfriend pulls a face, like you have pleasantly surprised him. He reaches out and takes the empty can from you and says, “Good girl.” 

You want to be sick.

-

“You’re in a good mood,” Simon says while making breakfast. He was up early this morning, well before Johnny awoke. Usually when Simon wakes first, he’ll take care of whatever business woke him and then lay in bed with Johnny until the other man wakes, but this morning when Johnny’s eyes blearily opened against the sunlight streaming in through the balcony doors, the bed was empty. Trust, he thinks. Simon’s beginning to trust him to be on his own more often 

“Could say the same fer you,” says Johnny with a grin, tapping the fingers of his hand against the table as he waits for his plate. His voice pitches lower when he asks: “Did yeh wake up on the right side of the bed, or are yeh just excited about what day it is?” 

Simon scowls. “Nothing to be excited about, Johnny. It’s not a recreational event.” 

“I don’t know,” Johnny says, leaning back in his chair. “I��m looking forward to it. 

“You can’t kill him.” 

“Heard that line before. Rehearse a few new ones.” 

“I mean it,” says Simon, bringing Johnny’s plate to the table and setting it in front of him. Classic English breakfast. Fuck, Johnny’s stomach does a flip, he’s so goddamn hungry. It’s cut into bite sized pieces, but Johnny can overlook that. It’s a necessary evil for now, until his coordination is a little better—which it is, every day. Next comes Johnny’s orange juice, but just as Johnny reaches for the glass, Simon holds it up out of his reach, a frown in place. “Promise me that this is just reconnaissance. You won’t try to kill him—no matter what may happen.” 

It’s Johnny’s turn to scowl. He lets out an irritated breath through his nose. 

“Gonna starve me if I refuse?” 

“Yes.” 

“Bastard.” 

“I don’t hear any promises.” 

“I promise, I promise. Gimme that.” Johnny takes the orange juice. Simon lets it go, sighing. Though Johnny has told him what he wants to hear, he doesn’t seem comforted by it, Johnny thinks as he tucks in to his breakfast. 

Maybe he can tell that Johnny’s lying. 

-

“How do I look?” Johnny asks. He has buttoned his shirt on his own—a feat which only took him five minutes of careful coordination and deep breathing. Give me a fucking medal, he thinks to himself as Simon comes over to help him button his jeans (which are still too difficult to manage, depending on the pair he pulls on). Simon’s hands so close to his cock have Johnny humming, close to a purr in the back of his throat. 

They still have not fucked since the accident, but Johnny thinks soon. 

“You look like you need a haircut,” Simon says, voice rumbling against Johnny’s back where they are pressed together. One of Simon’s hands brushes through the lengthening fringe of Johnny’s mohawk, and Johnny lets himself shut his eyes at the touch, feeling a satisfied, sleepy urge come over him. Simon presses a kiss to the nape of his neck, and warmth blooms in the pit of Johnny’s stomach. Simon’s been like this all day: affectionate, borderline clingy. Doting. 

It’s a far cry from the way they had treated each other all week prior, and Johnny finds himself grateful for the change of pace. 

But he can’t let himself be distracted now. Not when so much is on the line. Poker begins in less than an hour, and Johnny has promised Simon that he will be on his best behavior. It’s not a promise he looks forward to breaking—but what promise ever is? Johnny plans to keep his mouth shut and his eyes open, taking in intelligence and making plans. 

But if an opportunity presents itself—if Johnny can find a single moment alone with your boyfriend—Johnny won’t hesitate. What a terrible accident it will be, he thinks gleefully. 

He turns in Simon’s arms and must turn too quickly. He stumbles, nearly falling. Simon braces him, helping to hold him upright. He sees the strange look in Simon’s eyes and frowns. 

“What is it?” 

“I need to ask you something.” 

“Alright.” 

“Do you trust me?” 

“Aye,” says Johnny promptly, grateful for an easy question. “With my life. Yeh know I do.” 

“Do you trust me with her life?” Simon asks. 

Johnny sighs a little. Simon has been so obliging today, Johnny should have suspected that he was waiting until the last minute to try to talk him out of any hairbrained schemes. Still, he says: “Yes. Not much I wouldn’t trust yeh with, Si.” 

Simon hesitates. 

“What is it?” Johnny prompts, reaching up with his hand to cup Simon’s cheek. He isn’t used to cupping this cheek, and it feels odd under his palm, almost like touching a stranger. “Go on, get it out.” 

“Will you forgive me?” Simon asks. 

“For our fight? Aye. Water under the bridge.” Johnny leans forward and places a kiss on Simon’s mouth. Now that is familiar: the curve of his lips, the way their noses brush, the scent of him. 

Johnny is nearly out of the room, heading for his shoes (and his crutch, considering how unsteady he is on his feet) when Simon speaks again: “Not for that.” 

Johnny stops and turns. The room turns with him. Simon stands with his back to Johnny, his huge shoulders hunched, hands hanging loosely at his sides. Johnny wishes that he would turn around and look at him, let him see the look on his face—except when he does, there is something oddly recognizable there, an eerie familiarity that he can’t put his finger on but which makes Johnny’s heart pound. 

“For what, then?” Johnny wonders.

“For putting that Oxy in your orange juice.” 

Goosebumps prickle all along Johnny’s arms and thighs. He stumbles again, and Simon is right there to catch him. Johnny is always unsteady on his feet when he’s been taking his pain meds. He stares at his lover blankly, struggling to piece together the what, the how, the why. 

“Need you to be safe,” Simon whispers. “I can’t have you there Johnny. I need you to be safe.” 

“Y’ drugged me?” 

“Just need you to get some sleep. I’ll be back by the time you wake up, and when you do, I’ll tell you everything,” he says, helping Johnny towards the bed. Johnny collapses back against the pillows, weak not from the Oxy but from his own horror and shock. Simon says: “I promise.” 

“Fuck yer promises,” Johnny slurs, eyes misty. Simon sits by him on the edge of the bed, stroking his hair until he begins to snore. 

-

It’s all compartmentalized, his feelings packaged into neat boxes and put away in the safest recesses of his mind. It’s remarkably like being on an op, when he would have to triage his own emotions: cannot face that one yet—push it back and come back to it later (or never, if more convenient). He practically feels the mask slipping into place, down over his eyes and nose and mouth. No more Simon, just Ghost. Ghost on a mission. Ghost preparing himself to do and witness terrible things. 

He’s numb to it all. His hand doesn’t even shake when he knocks on the door to 7C. Your boyfriend answers, brows raised with mild, surprised politeness, as if he didn’t truly expect that Simon would show (and Simon didn’t show, Ghost thinks darkly, but this idiot has no idea of that). Ghost holds up the case of beer he bought from the 7/11 down the street and the other man’s mouth stretches into a grin. 

“I’ll take that from you—come on in. Make yourself at home,” he says, slipping the beer from Ghost’s hand. “Where’s your other half?” 

“Sick.” 

“Shame.” 

“He’s no good at poker anyway. Doesn’t have the face for it,” Ghost says. He doesn’t even consider asking about you, isn’t willing to compromise his own position by revealing any favoritism toward you. Moving inward, he comes to stand in the living room. It’s eerie being here, this strange reflection of his own apartment. There are differences: the kitchen and dining room are separate, only one bedroom here as opposed to the two at 5C. It is very clean, rather impersonal, without any pictures on the walls or framed photos on the end tables. 

There are hints of you: your shoes in the rack by the door, your name badge resting by your keys on the table in the foyer. But you are nowhere in sight. 

Two other men are already in the apartment, seated around a square dining room table, dividing out poker chips. Ghost runs an analytical eye over them even as he nods his head coolly in a greeting. They are relatively fit, though neither particularly tall. Likely low risk, though he would be a fool to underestimate them when they have the numbers in their favor. 

Before Ghost can even take a seat, there is another knock on the door and a third one enters. 

“Sorry I’m late,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Leah wanted my help putting the girls down for their naps.” 

“I hear a little whiskey goes a long way,” your boyfriend suggests, shutting the door behind the final straggler. Everyone laughs except for Ghost who merely raises his eyebrows in amusement. 

“You know Leah. She thinks there’s an essential oil for everything; alcohol ain’t it,” the man says. He points to Ghost. “Who’s this?” 

Your boyfriend comes to rest a hand on Ghost’s shoulder. Ghost takes notice of the height difference between them with distant, dim pleasure. “Fellas, this is Simon. He’s in the apartment next door. Let’s all pretend we’re gentlemen so as to not scare him off.” 

More laughs. Everyone takes a seat around the table. Beers are cracked open, and Simon feigns sipping at his as cards are dealt. He is pinned between your boyfriend and the straggler, but his back is to the wall which gives him a sense of security. His knife sits heavy where it is holstered against his lower back, keeping him from fully resting against the chair. 

He wishes that he’d brought a fucking gun. 

“So, Simon,” someone asks. “Are you married?” 

“No.” 

“Simon’s gay,” your boyfriend tells the room, though where he has gotten this idea from, Simon couldn’t say. Is that what you believed? Did you tell him as such?

The straggler beside him visibly shifts away after this news. One of the other ones pulls a face like he has sucked on a lemon. 

Simon has never put labels on himself—finds them constricting as opposed to comforting—but he’s been attracted to people of all genders at one point or another.  It’s good though, for him to be misunderstood. Let their misconceptions about gay men color their representation of him, let them think him weak or soft or whatever the fuck their homophobia believes. It rolls off of Simon like water off a duck.

“Problem with that?” Simon asks the straggler, picking up his cards. 

“No,” the man lies. Coward.

“Maybe your wife has an essential oil that will cure me,” Simon suggests. The table laughs at their friend’s expense, even the one who had pulled a face. 

A round passes; Simon lets himself lose. He listens to the conversations with one ear and to the rest of the apartment with another, straining for any sign of life from you. He hears nothing. 

Until: “So where’s the fiancé?”

When all eyes turn to your boyfriend, Simon realizes that you must be engaged. You don’t wear a ring, and you’ve only ever referred to him as your ‘boyfriend’. Maybe it is a new development—or a development that you don’t agree with. He feels a dim stirring of satisfaction at the thought, dampened beneath his persona. 

Your boyfriend gives a coy smile. “She’s around. You know how she gets around strangers. Shy.” 

“Does that mean no…?” They all share pointed glances. It’s clear that there is something they don’t wish to say around Simon. Ghost leans forward, elbows on the table, waiting for one of them to break and give him a hint. Beneath the table, someone kicks the shin of the one speaking. 

“Think I could use another beer,” one of them says, standing. The others agree hastily. “Simon? You good?” 

“I’m good.” 

The man disappears into the kitchen, but is only gone for a moment before returning. “There’s a goddamn lock on your refrigerator.” 

Your boyfriend laughs. He reaches into his pocket and works free a small silver key, handing it over. “Yeah—keeps the cows out of the pasture, if you know what I mean.” 

The table laughs—Ghost does not. 

“I don’t get it,” he says, sliding his cards toward himself across the oak table and examining them with mild interest. The others fall silent as Ghost makes this moment purposefully awkward. 

“Don’t worry about it,” your boyfriend says with a laugh in his voice. “Just a little inside joke we have around here.” 

Ghost hums. 

Another round passes. The guys share stories about their work, their wives or girlfriends. Some of them have children. Do they know what their friend does to you? Ghost wonders. Could they possibly not know? They occasionally make an effort to bring him into the conversation, but his answers are terse at best, and eventually they stop trying. 

More rounds, chips changing hands. The empty beer bottles begin to stand like silent sentinels around the tabletop. Ghost puts little effort into winning, preferring to perform average at best so as to not attract attention. He keeps a close eye on the clock, a fraction of his energy always thinking of Johnny at home. Johnny who is hopefully sleeping peacefully. 

The next hand has just started when the door to the bedroom bursts open so abruptly that the handle knocks against the outer wall. You stand in the doorway, your face twisted in some expression too complex for Ghost to begin to unravel. 

The table loses it. Shouts of your name, whistles, joyful perverse greetings—a half dozen hands reaching out toward you, like you are the final member of this party and they have only been waiting for you to arrive. Your shoulders are nearly by your ears, you're so tense, eyes flickering around the room from face to face, sticking on Ghost for a fraction longer than the others. 

One of the men manages to brush against your wrist with his fingers and you wrench your hand away as if burned. The knife at Simon’s back itches; he wants it in his hand.

Your boyfriend sighs, laying his cards down on the table. “What is it?” 

“I need to talk to you.” 

“It can wait.”

“It can’t.”

The two of you communicate silently for a moment: sheer stubbornness on your end with mounting frustration on his.  

At last, he stands with a roll of his eyes. “Excuse me guys. You all know how she gets.” 

The two of them disappear into the kitchen. Sensing his chance, Ghost pushes away from the table. “Think I need that beer after all.”

The others pay him no attention, ducking their heads together and talking under their breath to each other like a group of teenagers.  It lets him slip away from the table and linger outside the kitchen doorway, silent as his namesake. He holds his breath, listening, knowing that this is the moment he and Johnny have been waiting for: concrete proof that your boyfriend is mistreating you.

“—isn’t working. I didn’t cheek it, I swear. Give me another, please,” you’re saying quietly, voice thick with tears.

“Not gonna happen.” 

“Please! I don’t wanna—”

“Not gonna happen because there wasn’t anything in that soda, you stupid slut,” your boyfriend whispers softly. The words echo around in Ghost's brain, bouncing off the walls of his skull. Mission successful. “I just wanted to see if you’d drink it. Now go back to the bedroom and stay there until everyone has left. Understood?” 

There is no response. Footsteps are heard—

Ghost has enough time to duck into the bathroom and avoid him—but he doesn’t. He lets himself get caught by your boyfriend, both of them staring at each other, eyes hard and knowing. There’s no reason to keep up the charade anymore, not after what he just heard. 

“Need something, Simon?” 

“That’s no way to talk to a woman,” Ghost says, soft and dangerous. 

Your boyfriend rubs his tongue along the inside of his cheek. “If I were you, I’d mind the business that pays me.” 

“And if I don’t?” 

“Are you—threatening me?” he asks, head tilting in a manner of mild surprise. There’s something in his eyes that Ghost can’t identify, something that looks a lot less like the fear he would hope to see and looks instead like delight. 

“I don’t like that word,” he says. “Leaves behind a certain degree of uncertainty. If I ever hear you say something like that to her again—”

His words are cut off as from the kitchen comes a scream, a wordless shriek of rage followed by the ear-splitting shatter of a ceramic plate. Even Ghost jerks, eyes flickering to the kitchen doorway, but there is no sight of you. A plate careens into his line of sight in the doorway, shattering to bits on the floor where you have thrown it. 

“What the fuck,” your boyfriend mutters. Another dish shatters. He raises his voice, calm but booming: “Alright: everyone out. Poker night’s over.”

-

Simon returns to his apartment with heavy steps, feet nearly leaden with dread at what he is going home to, at what he has done. He opens the door to quiet darkness, steps inside, and lingers there just inside the door, listening for Johnny’s quiet snores. 

He hears quiet sniffles instead. Stomach clenching painfully, he follows the sound to the bedroom and finds Soap on the floor. He has rolled himself off the bed, likely awoken out of sheer willpower and tried to follow after Simon. Johnny looks up at him, pupils blown wide, eyes red and swollen from crying. 

“I’m sorry,” Simon whispers fiercely, kneeling down beside him. “I’m so sorry Johnny. I had to do it. You know I did.” 

“I hate you,” Johnny whispers back, tongue thick. All of the sudden, his face pales and he leans forward, vomiting on the floor between them. 

It is the least that Simon deserves.

[max1461]

Continuing on with my America/Europe dichotomy, and this one's gonna be a doozy. This one's for the real thinkers. Ok so basically, Americas are uh, patriarchal and Europes are Oedipal. Ok. Look. This one, right, you're really gonna have to follow me on this one.

Look. In America, right, we do the whole single family home, like, patriarchal homestead medieval Icelandic family farm thing, the man is in charge of the house, rugged individualism and/or suburbia. But it's patriarchal. American man goes out and gets a hot trophy wife, who looks good and bleach blonde hair and signifies "this man is a Real Man, cause he got a hot trophy wife". Wife is like a fast car, wife is like a ferrari you get, to show off. For the American man. Remember China is also an America. Chinese gucci fuckboy chainsmoking guy needs to own a house, he needs to own a house and make one bajillion dollars to land a Chinese beauty standards thin and swan-necked hot Chinese babe to go with his gucci and his car. JUST like American man. Remember that China only ever had one empress in its million year history. Patriarchal.

In a Europe, right, every man wants to fuck his mom. He just does, I've met European men. They all want to fuck their mom. Italian guys? Fuhgeddaboudit. His wife is NOT a trophy to show of to other guys. He will expect her to cook, clean, wipe his ass. And there's this reputation, I know because I have family members who habitually date European men, there's this reputation where they literally live with their mom who cleans their underwear until they move in with their wife and now she cleans his underwear and pops out sixteen Catholic children. Right? Europe is oedipal. Ancient multi-generational homes... it breeds wanting to fuck your mom wanting a fucking mom-wife. Japan has had nine empresses. Squarely a Europe.

This is the source of all the other differences. They don't mind reusing old bathwater in Japan for the same reason moms don't mind when their kids barf on them... in America we don't mind poisonous chemicals in our food because young men don't care about that kind of shit. This is the fundamental difference.

IDEAL state of affairs, ok, is to be born in a wild and crazy America such as America or China, or maybe Russia (edge case), and then move to a nice and peaceful Europe in adulthood. They're great at walkable cities and shit in Europes, they love that shit. Doing what mommy tells them. And as an American it's a breath of fresh air. But it's important to be born and raised over here, you see, so you have that fuck you attitude, so you don't want to fuck your mom. Have I ever told this story? My grandad ate rat poison once, when he was a kid in the great depression riding the rails. I'm not making this up. Apparently he ate so much that his body didn't even try to digest it and it went right through him. He was fine. 🇺🇸

[koimethehorizon]

Adventure Time and Fionna and Cake Theory: The Victimhood of Simon + How the Series Might End

Prerequisite Watching for this Theory:

Adventure Time: Temple of Mars, Betty, Come Along With Me, Broke His Crown, I Remember You, Holly Jolly Secrets Part II

Gonna start this loaded theory with a bit of a hot take. I’ve never liked how Simon and Betty’s stories concluded in Come Along With Me.

For Simon, I’ve always had trouble considering Simon and the Ice King as the same person. Holly Jolly Secrets and I Remember You, the pinnacle of depicting the dichotomy of the two characters is built on us seeing Simon as suffering irreversible memory loss and how his loved ones can grow to accept that. The context is most apt when viewed as a metaphor for dementia, Alzheimer’s, or simply old age.

The scenes in which Ice King reacts so superfluously to characters desperately wishing for his old self to return are striking because of the cruel finality of his condition. Alternatively, the ones in which his loved ones hang around with him despite his condition are sweet in their own right.

One of my favorite Ice King scenes is in Broke His Crown where Marceline invites her girlfriend to meet her surrogate father.

Bubblegum: What's this?

Ice King: It's a present, to bribe you for coming over!

Marceline: You don't have to bribe us silly, we're here because we WANT to hang out with you.

Ice King: No one has ever said that to me before.

*snatches present*

Ice King: You didn't say no takebacks.

There was a real poignancy to depicting an old man with memory-loss slowly having people come to accept him and realize that he’s still a swell guy to hang around. It may be depressing to see this good person who was once so unconditionally caring into a buffoon who could forget your name so easily and turn on you in the flip of a coin.

But even he deserved love from others. And in time, as a result of that love, he did improve.

Which is why, even in Fionna and Cake, I find myself still disturbed seeing Simon in his normal state and Ice King completely erased from Ooo. It kills me that Betty and in extension, the show itself could not accept Ice King as he was and felt that his best course was to undo it all.

All of his experiences for 1000+ years all of a sudden no longer matter, and the acceptance of his peers no longer mattered as well. He's just back to who he used to be in a world where everything he's known is gone.

Happily ever after

Even worse, however, is remembering the wish that allowed Simon to be cured. The person who sacrificed her individuality to get that good person back, because she couldn’t accept reality as it was.

And I’m going to put a second hot take. A spicy one. Simon needs to take the fault in Betty's fate and Fionna and Cake (the show not the characters) seems aware of this.

Throughout Adventure Time, Simon Petrikov was never developed as a character. As far as the audience and the characters within Adventure Time knew, the only traits about Simon that mattered were: that he was intelligent, he was a kind man, and he loved Betty.

This wouldn’t really be a compelling character on its own, but when juxtaposed with the Ice King it’s a tragedy that he lost these traits. The compelling part of Simon was his victimhood to the ice crown and not really him as a person.

It’s why Obsidian’s version of Simon feels somewhat empty, he’s back to his intelligent, kind self but there’s no real hints to how he’s mentally adjusting other than that brief glimpse in Ice King’s robes again.

And he looks really weird in this special too. Color me surprised when Simon Petrikov reads out the problems I've had for years about his ending while also making Simon into his own person. In many ways it just completely redos what we see of him in Obsidian.

He's still a kind man but even he can't handle being so maladjusted to a world so beyond his time. He's still intelligent but his passions aren't reciprocated, and that seems to have always been the case even in the past. Rather than a guy who doesn't take shit from guys like Marceline's ex or a first responder to his daughter's problems, he's a normal guy unable to handle the threats of Ooo's world even after 12 years of living in it. Rather than singing to large communities in bliss, he's a lonely alcoholic who can't even relate to his fellow humans anymore. He loves his adopted daughter but there are even some days he can't muster the courage to be honest with her. And most importantly, he doesn't seem to know how to live beyond his curse or his loneliness.

His mutual obsession with Betty is the only character trait of his that's ever had some distinct flaw and with this new show, the writers must have finally found a way to tackle the subject further. Betty is ultimately a greater victim than Simon. She ends up in a far worse fate than Simon has ever been in. Perhaps more disturbingly, she willingly chose to strip herself of her individuality.

Fionna and Cake brings a contradiction to light about Simon and Betty’s seemingly perfect relationship. Simon and Betty's love is real and they do make each other happy. But there does exist a co-dependency that has worsened throughout the series as a result of their insecurity of letting a bad memory conclude their relationship. Betty's patterns are pretty clear throughout her tenure as Magic Woman but not too much with Simon. Not until now.

In Jerry, Simon stops Betty from pursuing her dreams because he didn’t want her goodbye to be his last memory with her.

In Betty, Simon rewrites history and inadvertently summons her to Ooo because he didn’t want Betty’s look of contempt to be his last memory of her.

And through all of Fionna and Cake, Simon has turned into a suicidal man willing to resummon GOLBetty regardless of the reasons she can’t see him again. All because he didn’t want her sacrifice to be his last memory of her. Despite the fact that Betty’s final wish was to keep Simon safe.

There's also this uneven power dynamic between the two. Simon was far more accomplished as a professor with PhDs even if no one took him seriously. Betty was just a student offering some help, knowing she wouldn't take any credit for helping.

I’ll preface that Betty is a consenting adult in the relationship and made many self-determined rash choices that Simon would never approve of with full context. We’ve enough scenes to show that Simon actively refuses Betty’s help if it means endangering her.

However, Simon’s perception of Betty and his own inadequacy did influence her personality for the worse. Fionna questions Simon on two occasions about how strange it was for “someone she just met to drop everything to go with you”. Even within the flashbacks Betty verbally describes her internal conflict between her individuality vs. her infatuation with Simon and the guy never picks up on it.

Whether he’s aware of it or not, Simon always ends up becoming the center of attention during Betty’s greatest life-changing events because he’s always suffering in some way. And sadly in-character, Betty always prioritizes him first because of how sorry she feels for him.

Simon: Just hold my hand to your face, this will be my… last sensation.

Betty: Don’t be a wimp, Simon!

I don’t want to be too hard on Simon, his suffering is cosmologically depressing. An undeniable tragedy that no one deserves to be alone on. It would be unfair to say he’s being dramatic about something most if not any human would ever go through. He’s not a leech for desiring help, especially from his significant other.

But I do think it’s important to point out that he does have a major flaw in not reflecting on the consequences of Betty’s choices.

Fionna: Damn, that’s romantic. So, you got on the bus with her?

Simon: Yup. Uh what? No. No. Why would I-

This is the reason this post exists. This is the show explicitly telling us that Simon has never really thought about what Betty lost because he thinks his love was greater than the passion Betty once had.

Let's go back to Betty once again for what is honestly the most justifiable takedown you could make of Simon's character prior to the miniseries.

As stated earlier, Simon opens a portal to ask for Betty's forgiveness with a few seconds on the clock. And in that time, he essentially just unloads a giant drama bomb, trauma dump of his suffering leading Betty to ask what she can even do without him. And if the plan went as it was, Simon would've just left her a hundred questions that she'd never have answered for the rest of her life.

Simon: Just know that I love you and I forgive you for leaving me. Author's Note: I dunno, isn't there something a bit off about how he worded this?

Now Simon didn't ask for Betty to jump into the portal, but he certainly was asking for it subconsciously. How else would he have expected a person who loves him dearly to act after this?

Taking any measures necessary and finding a way back together obviously. That's what he's doing too!

And reiterating again, this is the reason why Betty goes on her ego-suicidal quest. This is Simon's greatest mistake, his greatest moral failing as a person and he doesn't seem aware of this.

He’s not wrong that Betty lived happily with him. In spite of losing her dreams, Betty and Simon did love each other unconditionally. But he’s missing the bigger picture about how he could’ve been self-centered in deciding Betty’s fate for himself.

And maybe to stretch somewhat, I think even the quest to become Ice King again is somewhat motivated by his inability to live as anything more than a victim. Some of it is because the citizens of Ooo were being a bit inconsiderate about how much they liked Ice King yes, but Simon should be perfectly aware that Marceline, Betty, and now Fionna would be extremely concerned about him for doing this. Yet, he doesn’t really consider their feelings too much on the matter. He’s too used to the suffering.

Please have one scene with Marceline, I'd be sad if we don't get to see at least one.

This leads me to how I believe Fionna and Cake may rewrite Simon’s ending.

The key is in the episode Temple of Mars.

Upon rewatching the episode, I’m convinced that the Adventure Time cast had a greater plan with the Betty and Simon arc that just never came to be due to production constraints. A lot of Betty’s history and the deconstruction of her relationship with Simon in Jerry are surprisingly details that have already been told.

I thought it was an animation error that Betty’s glasses were different in Jerry but it turns out the continuity director is just that good.

The trip in six months, Simon stopping her, and the realization that Simon superseded her identity. Seeking independence from Simon is the lesson that Normal Man was trying failed to teach her.

Betty: I’ve spent so much time dedicated on Simon that I’m not even sure if there’s any “me” left anymore.

But the most telling detail is how Betty passes Normal Man’s test.

Finn: Even if you are a lost cause, she is not!

Betty: No, Finn’s right. You’ll thank me for this later past Betty.

In an alternate pocket reality, she changes her trip to the day before, preventing Simon from stopping her. And I think Simon will have to change fate once again to do the same.

If Simon comes to realize that he was the one who set Betty to her terrible fate, that all this time his rose-colored lens of their relationship had been detrimental then he could give her identity back. But it can’t be as simple as changing the moment Betty turns into GOLB or Magic Woman or even bringing her through the portal in Betty.

He needs to let Betty go on the bus. Alone.

It’s the only way for Betty to have her life back. If not for his Betty, maybe at least to save one in the multiverse doomed to the same fate.

They both need to cherish their time on the Enchiridion trip back when it wasn’t too late for Betty to go on the trip. Back when they were both equals and not tied to Simon’s needs.

Jerry is absolutely setting up something big with Simon and Betty’s relationship for next week and now that we’re going to the GOLB dimension, we’ll see how he remembers these moments again.

Personally, as someone who has been skeptical about Simon's peace for years, Fionna and Cake's second episode was like a sigh of relief. Simon hasn't found his ending yet, and my hope is that this epilogue will help me see the man happy without having to relive Betty's sacrifice for the rest of his life. Just like the rest of Adventure Time, it'll have to end with him cherishing the time he had with Betty regardless of the inevitability of losing that relationship.

PS. Isn’t quite strange that at one point in time, Simon sought after magic objects that ostracized him from the normal world and now, he lives in a house full of 1980s-1990s objects that ostracized him from the magical world? Maybe he was never really satisfied with where he was in the present.

PSS. I really wanted to write something on Fionna for the Ep 3-6 releases, and I still have the idea, but I couldn’t make it coherent due to how much my brain overthinks everything to the point of cognitive collapse. If there’s enough interest, I’ll go back to write it again.

[perseidlion]

I'm new to the KAOS fandom, and I honestly love the way the show is riffing off myth.

I've seen some rumblings of some people thinking they're changing too much. But, uhhh, the show definitely never promised they'd be sticking close to myth by its whole *gestures broadly* deal. Also like...WHICH version of the myths? There are so many and they changed, sometimes drastically over time. KAOS is just really continuing the tradition of remixing these characters and the stories.

I feel like the people who are saying this takes it too far probably have a superficial understanding of Greek and Roman mythology. Cause if you really dig into it, these stories are weird, contradictory, raunchy, violent and tragic.

I was a Classics major for two years (before I decided I couldn't learn Latin or Greek which was required to study primary sources, so I switched majors.) And let me tell you, KAOS is VERY accurate to certain portrayals of the gods. Not all, of course, but many.

Zeus is absolutely a horndog dick who sleeps with all sorts of people and spreads his seed everywhere. I mean, he straight-up disguised himself as other people to have sex with their partners. Animals, too!

Hera is incredibly petty and vindictive and transforms people into all sorts of things as punishment. She was especially hard on any of Zeus' lovers she caught, or his kids from different mothers.

Everyone was doing adultery all the time.

Hades wasn't a meek corporate type, but he also wasn't a devil analogue as he often gets interpreted as in pop culture. He's definitely a big ole grump and doesn't seem to have a soft side, but he's not often portrayed as evil. Zeus is not God and Hades is not Satan. That's really applying a Judeo-Christian framework to Greek mythology.

The myth of Orpheus and Eurydice was always more about grief and not being able to let go than about the power of true love.

The gods gained obedience and worship through fear. They absolutely punished people who didn't worship they way they wanted them to.

The gods were a giant, powerful, highly dysfunctional family with lots of petty grievances and grudges.

The Greeks had no concept of gay or straight. They conceptualized sex and sexuality as acts, not an identity. They were more concerned about who was the passive person in a sexual encounter (for reasons of class and manliness) rather than what gender their partner was. So it makes sense that this modern retelling would have a similiarly open an undefined concept of sex and sexuality.

Greek myth is full of people who change genders or who swap back and forth through magic or prayer, or were both male and female at the same time. Caeneus in the show, is based on a real myth of someone AFAB who wished to become a man.

(sidenote: Misia Butler is so damned charming and handsome.)

It's also important to remember that the religion of the ancient Greeks lasted a very long time and changed over that time. There was also this really interesting dichotomy between the gods of plays and myths and the gods they worshipped in a religious context. That was one thing that is really hard to wrap your head around when you're studying Greek and Roman myth, especially when you're studying it alongside plays and epic poetry.

The gods of the stories who were being vengeful and petty and the gods they sacrificed to and worshipped were not the same - and they were. Sort of imagine it like Christian peoples' perceptions of Jesus vs Jesus in pop culture. Like, if you studied Dogma or Good Omens or something alongside the Bible and didn't distinguish between religion and pop culture, you'd definitely be confused.

So there are all these competing stores, some benevolent and holy, some raucous and scandalous. KAOS very ably continues in that tradition by remixing and recontextualizing the source material for a new audience.

They do some reaaalll weird thing with timelines, though! They squish together myth and pick and choose different versions and inspiration. But honestly that doesn't bother me because it's all done deliberately and not out of ignorance. They're changing what they've changed to serve the story.

Plus it's great fun. It's one of the most creative shows I've seen in ages. Go and watch it! As a bonus, it's also hella queer.

[physalian]

8 Signs your Sequel Needs Work

Sequels, and followup seasons to TV shows, can be very tricky to get right. Most of the time, especially with the onslaught of sequels, remakes, and remake-quels over the past… 15 years? There’s a few stand-outs for sure. I hear Dune Part 2 stuck the landing. Everyone who likes John Wick also likes those sequels. Spiderverse 2 also stuck the landing.

These are less tips and more fundamental pieces of your story that may or may not factor in because every work is different, and this is coming from an audience’s perspective. Maybe some of these will be the flaws you just couldn’t put your finger on before. And, of course, these are all my opinions, for sequels and later seasons that just didn’t work for me.

1. Your vague lore becomes a gimmick

The Force, this mysterious entity that needs no further explanation… is now quantifiable with midichlorians.

In The 100, the little chip that contains the “reincarnation” of the Commanders is now the central plot to their season 6 “invasion of the bodysnatchers” villains.

In The Vampire Diaries, the existence of the “emotion switch” is explicitly disputed as even existing in the earlier seasons, then becomes a very real and physical plot point one can toggle on and off.

I love hard magic systems. I love soft magic systems, too. These two are not evolutions of each other and doing so will ruin your magic system. People fell in love with the hard magic because they liked the rules, the rules made sense, and everything you wrote fit within those rules. Don’t get wacky and suddenly start inventing new rules that break your old ones.

People fell in love with the soft magic because it needed no rules, the magic made sense without overtaking the story or creating plot holes for why it didn’t just save the day. Don’t give your audience everything they never needed to know and impose limitations that didn’t need to be there.

Solving the mystery will never be as satisfying as whatever the reader came up with in their mind. Satisfaction is the death of desire.

2. The established theme becomes un-established

I talked about this point already in this post about theme so the abridged version here: If your story has major themes you’ve set out to explore, like “the dichotomy of good and evil” and you abandon that theme either for a contradictory one, or no theme at all, your sequel will feel less polished and meaningful than its predecessor, because the new story doesn’t have as much (if anything) to say, while the original did.

Jurassic Park is a fantastic, stellar example. First movie is about the folly of human arrogance and the inherent disaster and hubris in thinking one can control forces of nature for superficial gains. The sequels, and then sequel series, never returns to this theme (and also stops remembering that dinosaurs are animals, not generic movie monsters). JP wasn’t just scary because ahhh big scary reptiles. JP was scary because the story is an easily preventable tragedy, and yes the dinosaurs are eating people, but the people only have other people to blame. Dinosaurs are just hungry, frightened animals.

Or, the most obvious example in Pixar’s history: Cars to Cars 2.

3. You focus on the wrong elements based on ‘fan feedback’

We love fans. Fans make us money. Fans do not know what they want out of a sequel. Fans will never know what they want out of a sequel, nor will studios know how to interpret those wants. Ask Star Wars. Heck, ask the last 8 books out of the Percy Jackson universe.

Going back to Cars 2 (and why I loathe the concept of comedic relief characters, truly), Disney saw dollar signs with how popular Mater was, so, logically, they gave fans more Mater. They gave us more car gimmicks, they expanded the lore that no one asked for. They did try to give us new pretty racing venues and new cool characters. The writers really did try, but some random Suit decided a car spy thriller was better and this is what we got.

The elements your sequel focuses on could be points 1 or 2, based on reception. If your audience universally hates a character for legitimate reasons, maybe listen, but if your audience is at war with itself over superficial BS like whether or not she’s a female character, or POC, ignore them and write the character you set out to write. Maybe their arc wasn’t finished yet, and they had a really cool story that never got told.

This could be side-characters, or a specific location/pocket of worldbuilding that really resonated, a romantic subplot, whatever. Point is, careening off your plan without considering the consequences doesn’t usually end well.

4. You don’t focus on the ‘right’ elements

I don’t think anyone out there will happily sit down and enjoy the entirety of Thor: The Dark World.  The only reasons I would watch that movie now are because a couple of the jokes are funny, and the whole bit in the middle with Thor and Loki. Why wasn’t this the whole movie? No one cares about the lore, but people really loved Loki, especially when there wasn’t much about him in the MCU at the time, and taking a villain fresh off his big hit with the first Avengers and throwing him in a reluctant “enemy of my enemy” plot for this entire movie would have been amazing.

Loki also refuses to stay dead because he’s too popular, thus we get a cyclical and frustrating arc where he only has development when the producers demand so they can make maximum profit off his character, but back then, in phase 2 world, the mystery around Loki was what made him so compelling and the drama around those two on screen was really good! They bounced so well off each other, they both had very different strengths and perspectives, both had real grievances to air, and in that movie, they *both* lost their mother. It’s not even that it’s a bad sequel, it’s just a plain bad movie.

The movie exists to keep establishing the Infinity Stones with the red one and I can’t remember what the red one does at this point, but it could have so easily done both. The powers that be should have known their strongest elements were Thor and Loki and their relationship, and run with it.

This isn’t “give into the demands of fans who want more Loki” it’s being smart enough to look at your own work and suss out what you think the most intriguing elements are and which have the most room and potential to grow (and also test audiences and beta readers to tell you the ugly truth). Sequels should feel more like natural continuations of the original story, not shameless cash grabs.

5. You walk back character development for ~drama~

As in, characters who got together at the end of book 1 suddenly start fighting because the “will they/won’t they” was the juiciest dynamic of their relationship and you don’t know how to write a compelling, happy couple. Or a character who overcame their snobbery, cowardice, grizzled nature, or phobia suddenly has it again because, again, that was the most compelling part of their character and you don’t know who they are without it.

To be honest, yeah, the buildup of a relationship does tend to be more entertaining in media, but that’s also because solid, respectful, healthy relationships in media are a rarity. Season 1 of Outlander remains the best, in part because of the rapid growth of the main love interest’s relationship. Every season after, they’re already married, already together, and occasionally dealing with baby shenanigans, and it’s them against the world and, yeah, I got bored.

There’s just so much you can do with a freshly established relationship: Those two are a *team* now. The drama and intrigue no longer comes from them against each other, it’s them together against a new antagonist and their different approaches to solving a problem. They can and should still have distinct personalities and perspectives on whatever story you throw them into.

6. It’s the same exact story, just Bigger

I have been sitting on a “how to scale power” post for months now because I’m still not sure on reception but here’s a little bit on what I mean.

Original: Oh no, the big bad guy wants to destroy New York

Sequel: Oh no, the big bad guy wants to destroy the planet

Threequel: Oh no, the big bad guy wants to destroy the galaxy

You knew it wasn’t going to happen the first time, you absolutely know it won’t happen on a bigger scale. Usually, when this happens, plot holes abound. You end up deleting or forgetting about characters’ convenient powers and abilities, deleting or forgetting about established relationships and new ground gained with side characters and entities, and deleting or forgetting about stakes, themes, and actually growing your characters like this isn’t the exact same story, just Bigger.

How many Bond movies are there? Thirty-something? I know some are very, very good and some are not at all good. They’re all Bond movies. People keep watching them because they’re formulaic, but there’s also been seven Bond actors and the movies aren’t one long, continuous, self-referential story about this poor, poor man who has the worst luck in the universe. These sequels aren’t “this but bigger” it’s usually “this, but different”, which is almost always better.

“This, but different now” will demand a different skillset from your hero, different rules to play by, different expectations, and different stakes. It does not just demand your hero learn to punch harder.

Example: Lord Shen from Kung Fu Panda 2 does have more influence than Tai Lung, yes. He’s got a whole city and his backstory is further-reaching, but he’s objectively worse in close combat—so he doesn’t fistfight Po. He has cannons, very dangerous cannons, cannons designed to be so strong that kung fu doesn’t matter. Thus, he’s not necessarily “bigger” he’s just “different” and his whole story demands new perspective.

The differences between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi are numerous, but the latter relies on “but bigger” and the former went in a whole new direction, while still staying faithful to the themes of the original.

7. It undermines the original by awakening a new problem too soon

I’ve already complained about the mere existence of Heroes of Olympus elsewhere because everything Luke fought and died for only bought that world about a month of peace before the gods came and ripped it all away for More Story.

I’ve also complained that the Star Wars Sequels were always going to spit in the face of a character’s six-movie legacy to bring balance to the Force by just going… nah. Ancient prophecy? Only bought us about 30 years of peace.

Whether it’s too soon, or it’s too closely related to the original, your audience is going to feel a little put-off when they realize how inconsequential this sequel makes the original, particularly in TV shows that run too many seasons and can’t keep upping the ante, like Supernatural.

Kung Fu Panda once again because these two movies are amazing. Shen is completely unrelated to Tai Lung. He’s not threatening the Valley of Peace or Shifu or Oogway or anything the heroes fought for in the original. He’s brand new.

My yearning to see these two on screen together to just watch them verbally spat over both being bratty children disappointed by their parents is unquantifiable. This movie is a damn near perfect sequel. Somebody write me fanfic with these two throwing hands over their drastically different perspectives on kung fu.

8. It’s so divorced from the original that it can barely even be called a sequel

Otherwise known as seasons 5 and 6 of Lost. Otherwise known as: This show was on a sci-fi trajectory and something catastrophic happened to cause a dramatic hairpin turn off that path and into pseudo-biblical territory. Why did it all end in a church? I’m not joking, they did actually abandon The Plan while in a mach 1 nosedive.

I also have a post I’ve been sitting on about how to handle faith in fiction, so I’ll say this: The premise of Lost was the trials and escapades of a group of 48 strangers trying to survive and find rescue off a mysterious island with some creepy, sciency shenanigans going on once they discover that the island isn’t actually uninhabited.

Season 6 is about finding “candidates” to replace the island’s Discount Jesus who serves as the ambassador-protector of the island, who is also immortal until he’s not, and the island becomes a kind of purgatory where they all actually did die in the crash and were just waiting to… die again and go to heaven. Spoiler Alert.

This is also otherwise known as: Oh sh*t, Warner Bros wants more Supernatural? But we wrapped it up so nicely with Sam and Adam in the box with Lucifer. I tried to watch one of those YouTube compilations of Cas’ funny moments because I haven’t seen every episode, and the misery on these actors’ faces as the compilation advanced through the seasons, all the joy and wit sucked from their performances, was just tragic.

I get it. Writers can’t control when the Powers That Be demand More Story so they can run their workhorse into the ground until it stops bleeding money, but if you aren’t controlled by said powers, either take it all back to basics, like Cars 3, or just stop.

—

Sometimes taking your established characters and throwing them into a completely unrecognizable story works, but those unrecongizable stories work that much harder to at least keep the characters' development and progression satisfying and familiar. See this post about timeskips that take generational gaps between the original and the sequel, and still deliver on a satisfying continuation.

TLDR: Sequels are hard and it’s never just one detail that makes them difficult to pull off. They will always be compared to their predecessors, always with the expectations to be as good as or surpass the original, when the original had no such competition. There’s also audience expectations for how they think the story, lore, and relationships should progress. Most faults of sequels, in my opinion, lie in straying too far from the fundamentals of the original without understanding why those fundamentals were so important to the original’s success.

[everythingcanadian]

Marvey: domestic vinyl disco

If anything threw Harvey off it was what happened when Mike officially moved in.

The small amount of boxes they unpacked didn't worry him, he knew the whole story. The one full box of video games and a console and controllers didn't bother him, he rarely watched tv anymore. The ripped jeans didn't even cause him to blink.

What did throw him was the notebooks. Each with a year and date timeline on them. Mike had smiled as he put them away in a little fabric basket he'd put into the larger shelving unit they bought together. "Memories and idle thoughts." Mike had said.

"You write in diaries?" Harvey had teased. And all he got was a shrug and a cheeky smile. Harvey snorted in acted annoyance, squatting down and kept shelving the books Mike had packed.

A list had fallen out of one of the notebooks and was loose in the basket, so Harvey pulled it out, itching to open the flimsy lined paper and devour what his partner wrote. Instead, he called out, "Mike! Something slipped out of your diaries. I don't know which one."

It's a few moments before Mike comes out of the guest room turned home office. He holds put his hand for the paper and Harvey gives it to him. The dichotomy of their stance mirrored that of last night, except Harvey wasn't on his knees and Mike wasn't against the wall.

Mike's face lit up as he looked at the title of his own note. A small laugh coming out. "Oh- yeah I remember this. The first Christmas we actually were going to spend together and I was trying to think of things to get you." He hands over the page.

Harvey looks up at Mike before looking at the paper and taking it back. He frowns at first but as he reads past the fourth line he smiles in disbelief and then a full sunny grin. "Vinyls." He gives a huff of a laugh.

"Ones you had looked at online or in stores as we passed." Mike says bashfully, a light pink coming to his cheeks. "It's- become a list of records I'd get you randomly."

"Just because?" Harvey's face shifts into that of soft awe, the one he has when he melts inside from anything Mike does.

Mike nods, "just because."

Harvey looks back at the page and his brown eyes soften. "You have a few crossed out."

"Because they're in your shelf already."

"What?" Harvey looks to his home collection of records.

"Here and work." Mike says proudly. "I said I was sneaky."

"No you didn't."

"Oh but I did. Said I'd find ways to surprise you."

"I-. I didn't think you meant things like this?" Harvey looks at the list as he stands, seeing one he knows he didn't have here at home. He walks his shelf and looks at the A's. He grins and laughs when he sees it. Pulling it out the black and gold record sleeve is bold and bare. "Would you care for a dance?"

"To disco?"

"Mmhm, with me?"

Mike pauses and his whole body lights up with glee. "Yeah, yeah put it on. We deserve a bit of a break anyway."

"Yes we do." Harvey is reverent in slipping the black record out, the band's name emblazoned on the center with all the songs. "Do you have a preference for a side?"

"Start from the beginning."

Harvey's smile softens, the meaning of those words pulling his heart strings. "We can do that. We'll just change records when it ends." The little ritual of putting on a record is something almost sacred to Harvey, and Mike watches his delicate movements with his hands. The opening static and then a blast of piano and catchy notes fills the condo with delightful and cheesy music.

"ABBA, not something I'd pick for myself. But it does have its moments." Harvey comes over to Mike and grabs his hips, leading them to a more open space to move. His laugh is full of life as he watches Mike dance a shitty attempt at Travolta. "Oh my god. Come here." Harvey kisses him softly, smiling too much for it to be proper, only to join Mike in being a dork.

[glitterslag]

anthroponymy in the bear

Apologies if someone's done this already, but I've been thinking a lot about the names of the characters in The Bear, and how almost nothing in this show is accidental. It's led me to wonder whether the names chosen are also intentional and if they can tell us anything about the characters and their journeys.

Firstly, we have Michael. The name is derived from a Hebrew phrase meaning ‘who is like god’ (often posed as a question). It’s fitting in my opinion. His character certainly is a godlike presence, his influence and love felt but not seen in The Beef. As the eldest sibling, he’s presented as a leader, and Carmy and Richie worship his vision. 

There’s a creation aspect with Mikey. He plays god from beyond the grave, literally breathing life into The Bear through the money he stashed in the tomato cans - we have him to thank for its establishment. 

The tomatoes remind me of the bible story of the feeding of the five thousand. In this miracle, Jesus is able to feed five thousand hungry people from just a few loaves of bread and a few fish. In ep 1.08, a humble tin of tomatoes - just as much a symbol of modesty as a loaf of bread - is opened to reveal a wad of cash. From this money comes The Bear, which hopefully will go on to feed just as many hungry mouths, if not more! 

Interestingly, 'michelin' is a diminutive of 'Michel', an alternate spelling of Michael. I wonder if there's a connection there? Maybe the key to The Bear earning its Michelin star will lie with Michael? A recipe of his, or a piece of advice he gave Carmy? (Sidetracking, but I just think it’s cool!)

Next, we have Carmy, who’s full name is Carmen. I’ve looked at a few sources, and there seem to be a couple of different meanings for his name. The Latin meaning comes from the word for a song or a poem. The Hebrew meaning is garden or vineyard. 

‘Song or poem’ to me reflects Carmy’s creative nature, his love of cooking and drawing. ‘Vineyard’ is interesting, considering that Donna is an alcoholic, and that as far as we know, Carmy is either sober or drinks very little. 

Carmen is also a gender neutral name. For me, one of the significant themes of the show is masculinity, and how different ideas of masculinity are warring with each other. To me, Mikey and to an extent Richie represent one particular masculine ideal, one that’s maybe a bit toxic. Carmy meanwhile is not painted as the stereotypical masculine guy. Richie often insults Carmy’s masculinity, jeering at his culinary training, being homophobic, making fun of his lack of experience with women. 

There’s so much I could say about this dichotomy, even right down to the dishes that are associated with each character. Richie’s idea of The Beef serving ‘food of the working man’. The sandwiches - their red meat fillings. Mikey’s spaghetti, in its simplicity, its earthiness, its history as a staple food of the working class.  To me, it’s a masculine, down to earth dish, very at odds with the fancier, more elegant dishes we come to associate Carmy with. 

Then we have characters such as Luca and Marcus - both of whom are associated with baking. You don’t have to be a genius to know that baking is seen as a feminine art. Luca and Marcus arguably don’t fit the macho man ideal either - both of them being depicted as a lot more gentle, calm, and creative types.

Next - Sydney. It’s an Old English name, and there are a few different interpretations of it that I could find. One is ‘wide meadow’ or ‘wide water meadow’. 

When Syd breezes into The Beef in ep 1, she’s literally a breath of fresh air. She’s a meadow! Her vision for what the restaurant could be, both in terms of the food served and the way the kitchen could be run (i.e. mutual respect, a smooth chain of command, no psycho bosses) is an idealistic vision, a utopia, a garden of Eden type image.

This brings me to the link with Carmy’s name:

Remember how one of the meanings of Carm’s name was garden? In my opinion, this similarity only reinforces the writer's intentions for us to see Syd and Carmy as kindred spirits. Gardens, meadows… both peaceful, calm, beautiful places. To me, it tells us they’re each other’s peace. It also tells us if they learn how to work together, they can create that ideal vision for the restaurant that they both crave.

Another interpretation of Syd’s name is that it means island or island dweller. This brings to mind the phrase ‘no man is an island’, which to me perfectly summarises her character’s central struggle. The phrase means that humans need each other. We need support, and we can’t do things alone. I think Sydney is shown as someone who can be prone to bottling things up, and maybe finds it difficult to ask for help and to be vulnerable. She’s not shown as having many family and friendship connections, and we see a lot of scenes where she’s alone - eating in restaurants, on the train, cooking at home. In that sense, she is a bit of an island, and I hope we see her become able to rely on others a little more in seasons to come (and hopefully Carmy gets his act together enough for her to trust him to be her support!). 

Next up: Jimmy. Short for James, a derivative of the Hebrew Jacob, it means ‘supplanter’. A supplanter means someone who takes the place of something else, like a usurper. Now, in ep 2.06, Jimmy and Donna’s dynamic was a little suspect, and I think a lot of people would agree that we’re supposed to infer something was going on there, with Cicero figuratively and perhaps literally taking the place of Bear senior. My theory is that there was an affair, and that Jimmy is actually Mikey’s father. JAW and Abby Elliott look pretty alike I’d say, while John Bernthal has quite different features. Was this intentional? Who’s to say, but I think there’s definitely a case to be made for there being two different fathers. Equally, Mr Bear could be Mikey’s dad, while Jimmy could be Nat and Carm’s true father - he has their lighter hair and eyes, so who knows!! 

In Genesis, Jacob supplants his twin brother by buying his birthright. In the show, Jimmy attempts to buy the restaurant, which of course once belonged to Carmy’s dad. Although the show doesn’t give us the full story of the pair, we gather that Jimmy and Bear Sr. were old friends who were almost more like brothers, until a feud ruined their relationship. Interesting for sure!

Next is Tina. Short for Christina, which means ‘follower of Christ’. Her last name, Marrero, is interesting. Deriving from Spanish, it means stone-breaker or hammer, reflecting her strength of character. She’s a single mother, an immigrant, and has been working in male-dominated kitchens with all these shitty, angry men for years. As far as we know, she was the only woman at The Beef pre-Syd. She dealt with Mikey and Richie’s shit for years. You’d have to be pretty fucking tough. 

On the other hand, T is so warm and kind underneath it all and seems able to penetrate through the other character’s exteriors relatively easily - Richie, Carmy, Ebra, Syd. They can all be pretty grumpy, but they all have SUCH a soft spot for Tina and only Tina. She’s the stone breaker to their stony surface! 💖🥰💖🥰

Okay those are the main ones I wanted to talk about, but here’s a few more in brief:

Richie: short for Richard, which means strong or brave ruler/leader. In the final episode, we see Richie leading expo and doing a great job. He’s finally living up to his name - literally finding his purpose.

Donna: means lady in Italian. Madonna, or ‘my lady’ is another name for Mary, Jesus’ mother. The ‘mother of victory’ referenced in the prayer that Carm, Nat and Richie say before the soft open is the same Mary. Whilst Donna definitely doesn’t share many characteristics with Mary, I think the comparison is useful in showing the bear kids’ conflicting view of their mother. They of course still love her and crave her love and her blessing for the restaurant in return.

Natalie: means ‘birth of the lord’, literally, ‘Christmas’. There could be a connection here to the Fishes episode, which takes place on Christmas.

Pete: short for Peter, it means rock. When Jesus made the disciple Peter the first Pope, he said, ‘on this rock I build my church’. Pete is Nat’s rock and I think that’s beautiful!!!!!!

Ebra: short for Ebrahim, an alternate spelling of Abraham, which means 'father of many'. He’s a father figure for The Bear!

I know there are a couple I've left out from the main cast, one being Marcus, whose name means 'follower of Mars', the Roman god. I'm still figuring out whether there's a significance there - I'm sure there could be. Maybe I'll do a part two with the rest of the characters!

Anyways I just think it's neat how fitting a lot of the names are... and I really don't think a lot of them were accidental!

Pls feel free to add on and/or correct me if I got anything wrong!

[bl00dlight]

Ooh I just saw the ask you answered about if Aemond genuinely cares about people and what not, and I loved your answer, very succinct. But it got me thinking, just food for thought really; if Aemond were to meet someone who genuinely loves him back and shows him this love, in a sense that he perhaps would know this person wouldn't betray him/wouldn't hurt him (be it a romantic partner or otherwise). How do you think he would react then? Do you think that, if he knew this person cared for him the same way, he then would allow himself to be vulnerable and trust the person enough to open himself completely?

I won't say similar because it's not that kind of relationship that I mean, I mean an actual real one, but kinda like the vulnerable we see him being in the brothel with the madam? Because there he looks fairly comfortable letting his walls down.

An Analysis Of Aemond Targaryen: Relationships, Romance, Cluster B Personality Disorders, Avoidant Attachment and How Childhood Trauma and Family Dysfunction Fucked His Ass Up.

I've written a psychology paper for you.

I have not proof read this. Idgaf about typos.

Also obviously as I say later, when I talk about this shit - it's in the context of me talking about a FICTIONAL, exaggerated character who has ungodly levels of power. Not your average traumatised irl person. So please do not come for me, I'm analysing AEMOND not you/others irl.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Answer;

I think it would be a nightmare.

I don't think he is capable of a stable reltionship. Just like many men in our world, Aemond needs CBT and like maybe a prescription for vallium to help him chill the fuck out.

This isn't a call out by the way, thank you for your question its a genuinely interesting one that Ive thought about alot. But I think fanfiction can start to feel like accurate interpretations of characters. So alot of the idea of Aemond being this soft baby boy on the inside who just needs a woman who loves him to fix him is a completely false dichotomy.

So here is why -

ATTACHMENT ISSUES? PROBABLY.

Aemond didn't actually really care about the Madame. We know that because he walks out and basically says 'A whore is a whore.' In his mind she is just a means to an end - he feels comfortable with her because she is familiar, but ultimately she is still below him, still what he would consider immoral and dirty. Remember he is paying her, he is buying her silence, her discretion and her submission. This is a consensual relationship, she isn't CHOOSING to do these things. He is buying her out.

The reality is, Aemond wouldn't be any different to Daemon. He would neglectful and likely alot less redeemable than Daemon - because ultimately Daemon's wounds are far more surface level, because Daemon is loved and has known compassion/warmth/supportive family etc.

Aemond hasn't. His ENTIRE identity is fractured. For example, take how he treats Alicent and Helaena - two people he knows both genuinely love him and cares for him (in there own dysfunctional ways) and he reciprocates this love and care. Yet look at how he treats them when he is triggered by something (feels weak, scared, confronted, vunerable).

Most people who come from dysfunctional families and have attachment issues or personality disorders or whatever other labels you want to give to trauma. Espeically for men who mainly become more avoidant or anti-social as a result.

They don't lean in to the people who genuinely care for them, they pull away. It's easier for Aemond to give in to the Madame, because she is familiar, but she's also distant. He has all the power. He can be vunerable because she literally cannot hurt him at all, she can't use that vunerablity against him, she can't abandon him etc. Why? Because he can do whatever he wants to her. He could just have her killed if she fucks him off. He doesn't actually care about her, there is no risk for him in being vunerable with her. Ewan Mitchell basically said it himself:

" 'Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.' That’s the code his character utilizes so he’s able to maneuver around this world without getting caught by Al Pacino.Aemond has a similar code that stops him from being hurt like he was as a kid. That’s why he’s able to walk out on the madam in that scene. He’s humiliated by his brother and all his crew, and it’s like this switch flips. The madam is no more. All of these people in front of him? They mean nothing. He stands up, he owns it. 'Yeah, I’m bulletproof. Anything you say, it will not work.' "

He isn't attached the Madame. He CAN just get up and leave because the dynamic is risk free. He has the power. But with Alicent or Helaena for example? Notice how he easily he crumbles? How he desperately wants/needs things from them. Comfort, validation, support, love? And when he feels he is being denied that - he shatters.

The trouble is, Aemond would never know someone isn't going to hurt them. If they are choosing to be there willingly, from what we've seen from his characterisation so far - that wouldn't make him less likely to hurt that person. It would make him more likely to hurt them. Which is standard practice with people who have been abused, they repeat that abuse onto others.

Genuine love, genuine vunerable is a fucken huge risk for him. A HUGEEE risk. That's why he kicks Alicent from the council - he can't be around her because she makes him feel vunerable and when he is in the council room he can't afford that. He'd rather convince himself the other person is weak/useless etc, then actually admit it's him who is the problem.

Again... look how he talks about Alicent and Helaena when they deny him, he calls both of them weak.

I legitmately think the Balcony scene is the perfect example of what you're asking about. Aemond does trust Helaena, and he does know she cares. He even thinks she won't hurt him. I mean she is the only one who HASN'T abandoned him. Look at how he approaches her, he is gentle and unknowingly manipulative. And when he feels those feelings become too much, the fear, abandonment, vunerablity etc, when he is rectifying with his own guilt the fact that he might have pushed away the last person who he had- he is literally about to cry. He didn't cry over the Madame that's for damn sure. He just gets up and leaves?

But Aemond doesn't leave at all. She denies him help over and over again, denies him validation and calls him out, and instead of walking away, he stays and threatens her in the hopes she'll give in. He is trying to maintain power over her, even though he knows he is completely powerless. That he can't do anything to stop her from walking away.

That is exactly what it would be like if he knew someone truly cared/loved him. He would be distant to maintain control most of the time, he would probably seek out alot of validation, he'd likely be gentle to some extent/ want to gain their approval - but once he has all those things, it would be an endless back and forth cycle and when he feels them pull away he would crumble and try to manipulate them back. And if they didn't give in, he would probably go back to threatening or abusing, just like with Helaena and Alicent.

Dont ask why but I know ALOT about attachment issues/personality disorders. He reminds me of a former narcissist I had a thing with, whom also had a raging avoidant attachment style.

BPD? Probably.

Now if we were to diagnose Aemond, I'd go down the bpd with narcissistic/anti social tendencies line of thought. Insert this tweet I found the other day:

There is really no fixing Aemond, the closer you are to him to more likely he would fuck you up basically. Because think about it? If he can be legitmately vunerable with you, if he ACTUALLY cares/loves you? There is a greater risk involved for him. It's harder for him to just up and leave when he needs to.

I mean we see him LITERALLY stay even after Helaena walks away. And then we see how he has another one of those shut down moments, his tear dries up, and he gets them cluster b shark eyes, like he did in the brothel.

Ewan Mitchell is unknowingly giving one of the most intensive, exaggerated yet nuanced depictions of a SERIOUSLY dysfunctional cluster B mf. Forget American Psycho or Girl Interrupted - Aemond Targaryen

And by the way, when I talk about this- just know I have alot of bpd friends, so I've had personal experience with them and they are some of the most deeply loving, insightful people I've ever met. All of them are trying their best to heal, which most borderlines really do try and want to get better. I also speak from a place of similar attachment issues and trauma - and believe me, my ass don't behave like Aemond at all. So I always speak with the knowledge that, I'm talking about fictional characters and not real people. And fiction is always exaggerated.

99% of people with bpd or dysfunctional attachement styles dont have narcissistic or anti social tendencies to the extremity Aemond does. It's a TV show, and Aemond is more comparable to the cluster B' s who are fascist leaders/cult leaders/serial killers/criminals etc then your average sufferer. So that's important to note.

I'm applying real world ideas to fictional characters to get a better understanding of how they tick. Aemond was written basically as a sociopath in the book. That's why I stress that his relationship with Alys is NOT a good one.

But in the show, the writers have 'humanised' Aemond which is code for "let's make his eventual villainy rooted in deep familial trauma and neglect, but also make it so he is capable of love, care - etc" So basically you've given him untreated, festering BPD which as a result of the fact he is male, a Prince and a rides Vhagar: he develops narcissistic tendencies as a result of a superiority complex compounding with the fact he can only get validation when he achieves things/ feels powerful when others feel inferior ON TOP OF THAT in s2, the lack of familial support/abandonment is installing an even deeper lack for empathy for those he views below him. He is also validated by Targaryen supremacy and subscribes to the idea that he is more deserving and entitled to power and a Targaryen legacy. He thinks being vunerable is a weakness because thats what he is taught. He thinks you get power via violence. Thus why he idolises Daemon who is his parallel.

Daemon also might be a tad bit cluster B. But, significantly less. He probably falls more into the line of general male fuckery and an unhealthy attachment style.

Aemond is sort of leaning into the Anakin/Scarlet Witch line of psychology more so then the typical American Psycho or Joker or Ramasy Bolton, Joffery Lannister etc etc; chaos for chaos sake.

In fact I think Aemond's greatest parallel isn't Daemon - it's Visenya Targaryen. Which is no doubt WHY Vhagar chose him. And Visenya too devolves into a total state of genocidal mania too. Probably why Jace told Rhaenyra not to idolise her.

Visenya was extremely stern, powerful, dutiful and most importantly: believed DEEPLY in Targaryen supremacy and loved her siblings fiercely. She was basically the one who got shit done, who was the driving force of the conquest and was able to whip Aegon into shape. She didn't fuck around, and she didn't like being fucked around. She even pulled a knife out on Aegon to prove his guards were slow and shit - thus establishing the King's Guard.

But she devolves into chaos and rage after Rhaenys dies and ESPECIALLY when it's Rhaneys' son who is Aegons heir not Mageor - WHOM ALSO IS A PARALLEL TO AEMOND.

But we won't get into that.

DOES HE HAVE WOMAN PROBLEMS? PROBABLY.

So basically as I said, Aemond has woman issues. Not just mummy issues. He has WOMAN ISSUES.

Number one he is a teenage boy. He wouldn't be some daddy dom sex god. Espeically since he has zero experience outside of the Madame where... it seems like he just cuddles with her.

As Ewan said, Aemond finds substitutes for the love he couldn't find in his mother/family. Ultimately, no matter what - that's what he is after. He wants the love of his family. And so any outside source he gets it from is disposable, because it's a substitute- because it will never not be a power dynamic for Aemond. He is the most powerful mother fucker in Westeros. He literally tried to kill the KING and didn't get in trouble for it. He wants to be in control of the world around him, he wants to as Ewan said 'Be the Daddy' of his family. He wants to make THEM rely on HIM.

And isn't that funny? Isn't that funny... how desperately Aemond wants the throne, how he'd sacrifice anything for that power. Why do you think that is? Because it means his family has to answer to him. They can't ignore him, can't invalidate him, and they can't deny him love/respect. He'd have total power over the people he feels powerless against.

And look at what happens when Helaena for example denies him, she's the Queen and Alicent reminds him of this. That she doesn't BOW to Aemond. And it shows, it shows because he begs her to help him, because he knows he holds no power over Helaena.

In a weird way, his desire for the throne is the closest he can get to being a baby. Baby's hold a lot of power over those around them. And being King well? Basically everyone does everything for you. You can have what you want, you can do what you want and everyoneeee HAS to love/adore/admire you or its treason.

Think about how valuable that is for a man like Aemond, who wants that comfort, that adoration. He was literally being held by the Madame like he was JESUS.

I think Ewan is right in saying, Aemond doesn't have 'mommy issues' - as I'm watching him, I don't think he wants to submit to woman or be dominated by them. I think the whole coddling/adoration etc IS his version of dominating them.

It's his version of power. Of having a mother dote over you. It's not a humiliation thing, Aemond doesn't want to be humiliated or made to feel inferior or at the mercy of anyone ESPEICALLY NOT A WOMAN. (Again look at what he does to Alicent and Helaena. He legit tells his own mum to go back into the kitchen.)

He wants a woman to make him feel special and validated. To not see any wrong in him or make him feel othered. And even the Madame does this, she validates him by TELLING HIM THE BLACKS SHOULD BE SCARED OF HIM. And that he isn't a boy anymore, he is a man.

It's alot more trauma based and psychosexual then some pornified kink. He isn't really getting off on it. And we see that because when she goes to kiss him, HE PUSHES HER AWAY. If he wanted to be dominated then he'd let her do what she wanted?

It's very specific to show that. He is in control. Again, he isn't taking comfort in the fact he can feel like a helpless little boy. He is being comforted because he feels empowered.

And I think ultimately that dynamic would play out in what you're asking. That genuine love/care you felt for him would be weaponised into him basically siphoning validation from it. It would be a very.... transactional thing, why? Because that's all he knows. His whole life has been transactional. He's been taught that love IS conditional and love IS synonymous with power.

He is looking at Aegon and thinking??? Look at how much attention he gets from Alicent? It's not because Aegon is more worthy of being King, it's because Aegon has power? Aegon has been given everything already just for being born first.

I think Helaena files into that. He WISHED Alicent had given him Helaena as a wife. Why? So he could prove himself worthy. So he could outsource all the love/validation he could from being given that power.

And what is that? Well Aemond tells us as a kid, 'To keep the Valyrian bloodline pure'. Which is what? Power. That's a big reason why Targs marry each other politically is to reinforce power. Had Aemond married Helaena, that would grant him power. Not only from the fact he's basically been provided a wife the point of heirs/politics - but it also because a wife is supposed to love and be dutiful to her husband. A wife is supposed to tend to her husband, even over her children, her duty is to HIM.

So in conclusion - I don't think anything could truly replace that for Aemond.

But I think the fact he views Helaena and Alicent as equals to him, makes it worse. In a weird way as a woman, the more he cares/loves/views you as an equal- the more likely he is to lash out against you because you have the power to hurt him.

He has to actively PUT DOWN his mother, when speaking to Helaena. He literally mentioned that ALICENT IS NOT LIKE US, SHE DOESN'T GET IT. In order to distance himself further from her, and distance himself from the pain of being abandoned by her.

IN CONCLUSION

Can you fix Aemond? No.

Would he become better just if he was shown love/care? No.

Is he capable of love/care. Yes.

Is there a chance at a healthy relationship with him? No. Not without him going to therapy which doesn't exist in Westeros.

Would he be a nightmare? Undoubtedly.

And remember there is a big different between not being capable of feeling love and care VS being capable of it and only being able to express it unhealithly because that's your experience with it.

It's a really tricky thing, because we are taught that abusive people and ABUSIVE MEN in particular are basically psychopaths. And absolutely, they are a section in the vast range of abusers.

But the nuance and unfortunate truth to abusive relationships and why in particular they are so dangerous and AEMOND would be so dangerous - is because many abusers aren't psychopaths. They aren't innately evil or want to hurt you sadistically at least.

Alot of abusive people, are simply reliving their familial trauma. When love/vunerablity/care become weapons, become points of abuse - you don't know any better. And you view them as weaknesses. Because well? They are. They risk you being hurt, you being traumatised. Or for Aemond 'being that scared little boy again'.

So the unfortunate reality is, the closer you get to Aemond in terms of genuine love/care the darker it becomes. Because it would become a source of pain for him - which would trigger all the nasty things we see him do to Alicent and Helaena.

The only way THE ONLY way you could bypass it, is if you basically lost all sense of self and completely submitted to whatever he wanted. As long as you validated him in some way, or comforted him in some way - then it might work. But i don't think that would mean he would turn into a loving and warm man. I think the extent of how gentle he would be is how he is with Alicent and Helaena. And notices how quickly that switch is flipped and how easily he pushes them away when he feels he is getting too close.

And it's not like you could talk to him about it, it's not like you could point that out and say - because he'd view that as you challenging him, making him feel less then, small, inferior, bad, unworthy.

Again... cough cough. Helaena and Alicent? When they call him out for him burning the village and trying to kill Aegon? What does he do? He gets ANGRY. He pushes them away further. He even outrightly LIES to Helaena. Like poing BLANK LIES and tries to accuse her of treason.

Yall see? There would be no winning. If you did everything he wanted, and he loved/cared about you the relationship would still not be loving or warm or fulfilling because he is scared of his own vunerablity in it.

And if you tried to fix it or God forbid had your own desires/free will - he'd threaten you and feel abandoned and do what's called 'spiltting'.

He is black or white. He doesn't know the grey scale. He can temper himself only to the point and only when it benefits him, just so he can strike later. He is calculating. He didn't flip out on Aegon at the brothel. He waited and when he had an opportunity, he took it. Aegon was dead to him already.

So you'd be walking on egg shells. Your best bet if you wanted him to be soft and vunerable with you, is to be the Madame. Meaning he don't give a fuck about you and you'd have no say at all about what actually happens to you. And he holds all the power via money.

But this is just my analysis based on his character SO FAR. It might change as the seasons change because... lord knows his characterisation has been all over the place as everyone's have.

[incorrect-riordanverse]

watched ep 3 & 4 of the pjo show. here are random thoughts:

ep 3

ive said before that ive put off watching the pjo show after episode 2 because the pacing seemed like a rush of getting from story checkpoint to story checkpoint and it never sat in one place long enough to actually grip me. episode 3 started off like that too, before the trio went on the quest. i only started to really like it when they were on the bus together and more of their dynamic was shining. theyre so funny bru.

i like all the acting but leah jeffries and aryan simhadri are CARRYING SO HARD. its like they took annabeth exactly how i imagined her out of my head and plopped her on screen and im so shocked at the accuracy??? her attitude and side eyes and sass is perf. and simhadri’s grover is insane because (dont come for me) i actually like the show version of him better than i did in the book 😭 perhaps reading him was rocky and i interpreted him wrong but seeing him on screen makes me SO attached to him. like in the books he always seemed like a sort of third wheel and annabeth and percy were outshining him so much but he’s actually slaying the show. i love him lots.

i like the dichotomy between percy and annabeth. their dynamic is already so juicy, especially with how they view both their godly and mortal parents. you can see some of their fatal flaws already shining through UGH i love them

i like medusa WAY more in the show. she seems so menacing yet classy and much more multifaceted. my only complaint was that she died way too quickly. there was so much build up in tension only for her to get one-tapped and it was honestly disappointing.

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA SPOTTED 🫵🫵

dialogue was great in this episode, btw.

ep 4

dream sequence went so hard -> “just breathe mummy ☺️ you’ll always be here 😁” *cuts to percy alone on a desolate plane where she is, in fact, not here*

sighhh sometimes i forget these kids are just twelve and theyre literal BABIES and percy just misses his mum 🙁

annabeth exposition time. a comment on all the exposition— there’s always something each episode but i think the show is doing a well enough job of not dumping everything in a way thats spoon-feedy to audience or in a way that makes viewers feel overwhelmed. theyre breaking information up nicely (imo).

echidna is slaying so hard. sorry but the villains are actually eating the whole dish up. mwah no balls.

its giving “im not a monster, im a mother” 🔥

fight scene annoyed me again but at least the mother of all monsters wasn’t ONE TAPPED. but i was annoyed because the monster was not thrashing him around as much as it had the opportunity to and it was giving plot armour im so sorry. might be cause of budget or target audience/rating though idk. the commentary of the show seems more mature however.

anyways yurr those are my observations. i like these last two eps more than the first two so maybe i should let this series cook.

remember to pirate this show if ur gonna watch it!!

[otaku553]

Hello! I saw your recent art of sabo, and in the tags you mentioned the big 3 of Shounen. I know it’s One piece and Naruto, but what’s the third? How come you like the character? Lovely artwork, it’s candy for the soul!! Thank you •u•

Ah thank you!!! The big three of shonen (for I guess the previous generation?) are Naruto, One Piece, and Bleach. Naruto and Bleach have already ended but it seems like One Piece is still going quite strong, despite the new generation of shonen anime (including Hero Aca, Demon Slayer, and the third spot is still debated! Probably JJK is my guess though that falls into its own sub genre of shonen dark fantasy I suppose)

Here are my favs! I’ll put the reasons why I like them in the read more because it’s quite long :)

Despite watching Naruto first I could never actually finish it because it was so long so I kind of just osmosed the later parts of shippuden through fanfics and other such media ^^; I think it’s pretty difficult to pick a definitive fav for Naruto because I feel like it tends to fumble a bit of its character writing? I think if I had to pick one maybe young Kakashi but still kind of eh. Maybe I just didn’t watch far enough to get attached

As for Bleach, I picked it up years ago around middle school and then dropped it after the first hundred episodes or so because filler got boring for younger me but then I picked it up again in high school and managed to at least get past aizen! And then I dropped it there because I wasn’t interested in any continuation after what seemed like an already pretty strong ending.

Toshiro is my favorite because he falls into all niches of character tropes that I enjoy including but not limited to: child genius who acts responsible but is still somewhat immature, cold personality along with ice powers but fierce loyalty to close relationships. I especially enjoy child genius characters for the contradictory dichotomy of what is expected of them in terms of maturity and knowledge and the amount of pressure these kinds of characters face and how they handle it! That said, I enjoy him more for the tropes that he falls into and my personal interpretation of him rather than canon writing for him. I think that though canon is an alright base, he doesn’t get much time to shine (character-wise instead of combat-wise).

And Sabo. Oh my goodness I am brainrotting so hard over Sabo right now. The ASL siblings in general have a vice grip on my heart and really are not letting go. There is so much tragedy in the way that they are written, that works because there are three of them. Ace and Luffy spend so much effort trying to save the only brother they have left in the world not realizing that if they go they’ll be the first to go actually because Sabo is still alive, and Sabo could have done so much and changed so much if only he had regained his memories sooner. Why didn’t he remember sooner? I can only assume it’s because he didn’t want to remember, because he grew out his hair to cover a scar he wasn’t proud of, because he was running away from his origins when he lost his memories and maybe that stuck with him. I don’t even remember when Sabo was introduced as a character because I don’t think he was mentioned during Marineford? But he’s such a compelling character because he does so much to save the world and yet is unable to save his own brother! And he’s written to fit with Ace and Luffy incredibly well, being the voice of reason where they can’t be.

[kaledya]

I LOVE dark fantasy, (vamp/creepy gods) deep political drama and families and the steampunk vibe on it. The cherry on the top ! I'm probably more of a Edwardian era girly that Victorian era girly but love both of them.

For your story, its a nice start for the differences in social hierarchy, it's a classic. I am not familiar of Brandon Sanderson's (did I write the name right?) Books because they're not really well translated in my language, in my opinion. But I can help with some refs if you want !

For exemple, if you are new in writing this type of worlds, I would recommend "soft worbuilding and big on vibes". With visuals (anime) : Violet Evergarden, Howl's Moving Castle. Both are fantasy soft steampunk-y. You can see on the concept art, props, machinery that are not too complicated to make and design. Jules Verne's works/drawings are a basic for the steampunk theme! Of course.

Then If you want something more deeper for the construction of society, Arcane (the show) is a very good dichotomy of rich and poor. If you want to have nice victorian clothes searching, you have the manga EMMA from Kaoru Mori (beautiful drawings!)

I know steampunk fantasy books but I don't know if they are translate in foreign languages ??

ANYWAY ! I need to stop! Because this message will be longer than any human life spend ever ahah!

___

Also yes I have started my own AU before I know your art. Just "how would I have written Hazbin Hotel ?" I did a full redesign of mostly all the characters, have OCs and deeper lore on Eve/Roo/Lilith part of the story and a ALL deeper lore on Alastor, Alastor's backstory. Its the focus of it.

Its very demonical hierarchy, bureaucratic kind of vibe ? Like :

Character : "I will postponed my duel. We need that information... and this file?" Other character : "Let me call this president... yes. I need a new weapon for... what do you mean half of my legion is fucking dead ?! WHO is training them ?! I need an advocate." (Hell have presidents) Character 3 : "What the hell is the Order of the Flies ? What do you mean Satan had a revolution in mind ? I need a coffee. No. Kill me."

I just think its so funny that demons have a human hierarchy, makings calls and just dying under paperwork. Its chaotic. For exemple, Charlie has brother and sister, one just left Hell to chill in Earth, the other is kinda married to her uncle ? Its just wild. But demons !

I paused it to write fully Arencha Amendable! At the beginning, It was HARD for me to remember that your prince of Hell (Constantine) for exemple, is not my prince of Hell (In my AU) or the fact Alastor as a daughter too in my AU who is NOT like Serenity at all ahah. So I really work on knowing your SS AU to be great at it !

I would be happy to show it to you but not in public.🌸🌸🌸 In case I want to write it on ao3 one day, in another timeline or something ahah

____

I forgot to say that I love Lackadaisy too ! My favorite character is the Cajun cat girl... Sérafine ? Mordecai and the 3 main. The others characters are adorable! What's yours ?

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Yes I just love your art. Stop making me cry damn it *take gently my hamster back* thank you 🌸🌸

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Berserk is very great manga. I understand! When you said you have a t-shirt Berserk I look at mine and I was like (its a pastel t-shirt with a white cute bunnyon it) "slay !"

___

And yes of course the beginning of Constantine and Serenity friendship is difficult ! And slow ! Like Hell is not a good place to have friend at all, and then Constantine is really not approachable for Sinners normaly and Serenity even if she is kind of a show girl (a greatest actor!) She is also someone discreet in her ways of doing things. I think ? Trust is complicated to built !

I'm happy you liked the Constantine/Verdelet little short story ! Your little dialogue was SO FUNNY ! Because that's a good resume :

V : "come on..." C : "I will not have sexual intercourse..." V : "Lesson time !! Look at this fleshy heart !"

I reread it just to laugh again at your dialogue ahah.

___

Ahaha ! And I'm so ready for the Con and Lolicia fanarts ! 😭 all if your drawings. But don't worry if you don't have a lot of time to do it now.

Remember. I'm not going anywhere. Your studies/exams first🌸🌸

___

I'm glad you like Abaddon !! And the short stories with Azrael and him !

AND I TRIED FOR DRAWING AZRAEL ! he was more complicated than I expected?!

And thank you for blessing mine eyes!!! What do you mean ? Ahah.

Have a great day too 🌸🌸

Yes, these themes are seriously awesome! I'm so glad to hear YOU loved it TOO!

And the Edwardian Era is also a very interesting Era, and its aesthetics are very beautiful.

And yes, you pronounced the name correctly, and don't worry, I just read the 1st book of Mistborn in English because they did not translate it well into my language too! (I had a headache from translating it).

I'm also thinking of reading the book called The Way of the King. I often see Sanderson being praised for his universe building! Inspiration is inspiration.

----

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS And seriously, I have always loved the art design and environmental design of Violet Evergarden, it was also an anime that I loved in terms of story factors.

And YES! I definitely get a lot of inspiration from Arcane. In general, the Runterra universe is a universe that inspires me a lot.

Thank you again for your advice and resource suggestions, I will look into them all! Information is information!

The length of the message is really not a problem, I love reading what you write!

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WHATTTTTT!!! Luckily, I would really like to see your design for the characters and the lore you have in mind for the characters! And your version reminded me of the politics-based structure of the first 4 seasons of GOT Series where this type of dialogue dominates are truly perfect for me. And I think that the hierarchy of hell is a really important and interesting topic, and it's really nice to include these parts in the story.

And Yes lmao Imagine, there are papers lined up like mountains in front of the important figures in hell, and they have to read and deal with them one by one.

____

Lmao I would 100/100 be the brother who goes to the world and has fun. Paperworks wastes people's lives.

And I really understand, after watching House of Dragons, I started to dont judge(dont think about so much) such events in such fictions And yes, it is hell, anything can happen there!

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I seriously find your AU interesting and if you come back to write it one day I look forward to reading it! And I was really happy to learn that we were considering similar concepts for AU snow!

And how is your AU prince and alastor's daughter's personality and story on ice! I'm seriously curious about your perfection!

---

And lackdaisy is seriously amazing, I'm still surprised when I see the drawing quality of the comic, the illustrator is a very talented person!

Cajun Cat? I can't remember exactly, but I choose Mordecai and the main trio, they all have unique personalities. And I love that although Mordecia is shown as the most grumpy person, on the otherwise is the one whose facial expression you see the most.

My favorite? Hmm I guess my fav is Zib, the depressive musician cat who is fed up with life.🤌

--

Yes, but it's still your decision whether to add this friendship factor to the story or not. You can do whatever you want, I'm okay with both options.

--

And I seriously love the interactions between Verdelet and Constantine, they are two fun people to read! And I'm so glad you liked the little dialogue I wrote!

---

And thank you so much for being patient and understanding!I'm really excited to draw them both together!!

-- And of course I will love Abbadon, I really loved his design and personality and I say again, your fanarts are really beautiful!

-----Episodes comments--

First of all, I read it up to date and I liked all the chapters you posted. The activities to unite the team were really well thought out, Sir Pentious warming up to the team. Trust activity after he arrived

In general, the activity held among the hotel residents was really great, everything was thought out in detail, I really loved it!It was really nice to have the team interact with each other or to read Lolicia's reactions to some events. Alastor's dialogues are also really fun to read.

In the short stories, the vee's stories were really nice, reading all of them was both fun and I think it gave the reader a different perspective, it was a really smart decision and in those short stories...introduced OCs caught my attention, I'm already curious if we'll see them again in the future!

And I wasn't expecting to see the Constantine cut at the end of the Vee episodes. It was a really nice surprise and I really loved the way you showed him in the story. Again, it's a very Epic shot.

And your drawings were great, as was the short with Verdelet. The design of the succubuses in Story was very nice, and the designs of the other versions of Abaddon were very good. I really like your designs!

And The fanart you drew of Verdeletand Constantine in the past was VERY BEAUTIFUL, THANK YOU SO MUCH, MY EYES ARE BLESSED AND THE YOU DRAW CLOTHES ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL. (Verdelet gives me the material girl Vibe💅)

Thank you again for the fanart.

AND WE SEE A SECTION OF LOLICIA'S PAST. WHAT DOES THAT SCENE MEAN? WHAT HAPPENED TO HER? MANY QUESTIONS BUT NO ANSWERS!

*starts hanging pins and clues on the wall*

AND ABBADON AND THE ROO/EVE SCENE I REALLY DIDN'T EXPECT THIS WHATTTTTT????

But the way the scene was written and described was really great. I really loved the way you handled Eve and Roo. I already loved Abaddon. I can't wait to see more about him now.

I'm seriously curious about what route the story will take after the warm-up arcs are over!!

And PRIDE MONTH FARANT I seriously think you drew the characters very cute and beautifully, they all looked great, I really liked them, thank you for bleesing my eyes again!

I hope I haven't forgotten any detail, if there is, please let me know, I don't want to miss anything!

And I apologize for the late reply. I haven't been on Tumblr for a long time and the my ınbox was really full. I saw your message recently!

Thank you again for taking the time to write this fanfic and draw fanart. It makes me so happy to read your fanfic! But please don't tire yourself out and get plenty of rest, you deserve it! ❤️❤️🫂🫂🫂🫂

[amywritesthings]

SILVER UNDERGROUND / deleted scene 02.

the first face i saw. :: an alternate version, aka the first draft, of that forest moment in chapter nine.

welcome to my segment of deleted scenes, levi's pov, and alternative 'almosts' that didn't quite make the published cut. this scene was the very first thing i wrote for this story! this is the earliest know blurb of SU. originally it was quite abrupt, and i much prefer the buildup that ended up happening in the story. may this be a lesson to writers: write the dang thing, don't agonize about a perfect scene, because when you go back to edit the epiphany of how you really want the scene to go will just come naturally! this is unedited. 1.2K words / explicit language, fighting. :: please remember: this is additional deleted content, not tied to the current canon of the story.

“I’m not going back.”

Levi is expressionless, but there is a hint of anger in his clipped question. “So you’re disobeying direct orders?”

“You didn’t order me, sir,” you reply. “You only suggested I go back. There’s a distinct difference.”

“Don’t be a smartass.”

Except the murmur is a thinly-veiled threat and nothing more. Somehow you’re confident enough about it that you take a few steps forward into the wide gap between you.

“You need the numbers,” you urge.

“No, shithead, what I need is for you to leave.”

“Why?”

“Disobeying orders and questioning your superior. Are you trying to rack up all possible offenses in one night?”

“I am trying to understand why you’re so adamant about giving the squad one less body in the lineup when we’ve already lost so many people—”

“Enough.”

“—and back-up would be at least a day away on horseback, which means we’re sitting ducks until we work together to get out of the forest with as many people alive as we—”

“I said enough, cadet,” Levi barks, and something ignites in you.

Something toxic that leads you to take another step forward, teeth bared.

“I’m not a fucking cadet, Levi, so stop pretending I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

The swear is not as surprising as hearing his first name on your tongue. If you didn’t know any better, then you would swear Levi is just as surprised. A tick of his brow is the giveaway: both move from their typical neutral position, and suddenly the air feels thick around you.

“Do you?” he challenges, low and dangerous as he mirrors your step forward. “Because last I checked, you were just some dumbass with a fucked up memory.”

The insult stings its intended target. You wince, but hold your ground.

“I was once on this squad, sir.”

“That doesn’t mean shit in the present.”

“It does to me,” you confess. Your voice raises to shout. “It matters that I fought! It matters that I’m here. I don’t know why you hate me so much—”

“I thought it would be obvious by now,” Levi flatly interrupts.

You trudge closer towards your captain, but he minds the gap for you: one step of his boot and he’s eye-to-eye with you, here, in the middle of this clearing.

The green flecks in the gray of his eyes bring some sickening softness to your belly, quelling a fraction of the fire within. It reminds you of summertime and darkness. A dichotomy of things you once loved — and things that once scared you.

Levi stares head on, seemingly disinterested in your shouting.

Yet when your eyes drop to his arm, you see the most obvious tell of all: his fist is pale, fingers gripped in a white-knuckle ball of restraint.

So you ask the first question that comes to mind:

“Then why do you want me to live so badly?”

By the sound of his breath hitching in his throat, it’s safe to assume your question has caught Humanity’s Strongest off guard. Painfully earnest, the words are woven in a confusion threatening to choke the life out of you. And Levi — Levi is four shades of enraged, glaring straight through you.

“I don’t give a shit if you live,” Levi corrects with a snarl.

“You don’t?”

“No.”

“Then allow me to stay.”

“No.”

Your chin tilts. “Then why—”

“Why do you want to die so fucking bad?” he snaps, his spit hitting your cheek. “Why bother waking up in that fucking rubble if all you wanted to do was throw away your second chance?”

His anger almost leaves you speechless.

Almost.

Except this feeling, this mindless fight, is the most familiar with the world as you’ve felt since waking up in that hospital. As if you like shouting, ready to throw fists.

As if you enjoy Levi yelling at you.

“Yours was the first face I saw when I woke up, sir,” you bite in response, forcing his jaw to clench. “I didn’t receive the recommendation for reinstatement out of thin fucking air. I went through modified training. I watched you visit the camps between missions. You didn’t have to check up on me, but you did.”

Levi’s mouth twitches.

“For someone who claims they don’t give a shit if I live you sure have a mighty big hand in the pot to ensure my safety, so what the fuck is the real reason behind ordering that I go back to the Walls?”

You manage to relay your monologue of grievances uninterrupted. Something dark brews behind Levi’s stormy eyes, stuck on your wide-eyed gaze.

“You’re insufferable, you know that?” he asks, low and steady, but there’s a glimmer of something else in his voice.

If it was anyone else, then it might have been something close to fondness, but it can’t be.

“Yeah?" you challenge. "Well, trying to keep up with your snarky ass, I couldn’t—”

You're pushed back by the sheer force of his lips.

His...

Your eyes open, then widen, at the sight of Levi Ackerman pressing a kiss to your mouth. Your body responds before you even understand why -- you drag him closer, hands buried in his hair, and respond in kind.

Everything feels too hot and too cold. Everything feels... good. You kiss back with such intensity that you feel his teeth.

Your world goes blank.

.

.

.

.

“What was that all about?” Petra’s voice comes out monotone, awaking you for a moment of dissociation.

Truthfully? You wish you had an answer.

You barely remember Levi telling you to go back to camp to rest.

You can't think of anything else except that:

The tingle of his lips pushed against yours lingers long after he’s departed.

There is a haze in your brain that takes over the fog of your amnesia, settling on a feeling beyond all else: warmth.

Even if you nearly went fist to fist with the Captain — a stupid, costly mistake — everything in your body is warm in the cool midnight air.

Maybe it was a mistake.

No, it was a mistake.

(One that the squad cannot know about, for both of your sakes.)

“We fought,” you provide just as flat.

“I know,” she says. “I heard. You used to do that a lot.”

You turn to study the glow of green on her back from her cloak.

“Argue to the brink of a fight,” she clarifies. “With Levi.”

When you say nothing, she cranes her chin over her shoulder. Although she doesn’t smile, her tone is melodic. Cheery, like there’s something funny between the lines.

“Before, you didn’t mind getting in his face if you two disagreed. I’ve never seen Levi get so angry. It’s a wonder he never punished you.”

So this was a common occurrence.

Did he always end it with a kiss?

Your warmth begins to fade as Petra’s words catch up to you, and you squeeze the fist at your side. “How much did you hear?”

“Don’t worry,” she assures, poking the dying embers with a stick. “I didn’t eavesdrop.”