#and ive always wondered if she thinks of me too but... i guess this is confirmation she doesnt lol

[5-htreuptakeinhibitor]

nothing feels more despair wojak than having wished your first Real Bff happy birthday since you were probably.. 9 or 10 and not having got one back since a year after she moved away when i wouldve turned like 14 or 15... im 22... and i still send her happy birthday every year...i did not realize this until recently...

[orcelito]

I take back... SOME of my negativity about fe:engage. Now that I'm out of prolog hell I have decided the fun eclipses the annoyances. For now.

[thestarsarebrightertonight]

cinnamon girl // theodore nott x fem reader

"violet blue green red to keep me at arms length dont work"

playlist : cinnamon girl - lana del rey

summary : everyone knows you have a crush on theo , even he knows! so when you randomly start avoiding him one day , theodore cant help but go crazy.

sunshine reader , y/n used , hufflepuff reader

masterlist

"theo!" you called out happily , running to the boys side and catching his wrist to stop his strides down the corridor, "hi, ive been meaning to talk to you!".

he looked at you , seeming displeased and just grunted in response , turning away and not even looking at your smiling face that admired him so softly.

"so you have a match on saturday and i was just wondering wether i should support you or hufflepuff? i always try and do my best in encouraging you but when youre against my house it becomes difficult-"

"i dont care do whatever." he said simply , finally turning to look back at you with an annoyed face.

your expression dropped for a split second , a moment so small it was hardly detectable but for that single second your smile dropped completely. and theo noticed. he thought that was probably the first time in your whole life youve stopped smiling. and the first time youve dropped your delicate hold on his wrist.

but you quickly regained composure , smiling up at him although not as sweetly as before , it almost seemed strained this time , "right , thats fine. ill just see what i can do closer to the time. bye theodore"

theodore. ouch. theo watched as you walked away silently , not turning back at all. he tried not to read too much into you , he didnt want to think he cared enough to, but hearing you call him by his full name and not theo? he hated to admit it stung a little more than he thought it would.

----

"hey!" you said enthusiatically as you sat down besides your close friend hannah , she looked up from the desk and greeted you back.

usually in charms you found yourself sat besides her , talking all lesson or admiring theodore , but you could help but avoid his side of the room like its the plague.

the plague being the pretty ravenclaw girl that for some reason was sat next to him as they discussed something civilly. usually theo sat with mattheo or alone since mattheo wasnt regularly spotted in charms , so to see him sat next to a girl youve never seen him with? you felt your heart shatter right onto the ground around you.

"y/n? are you listening?" hannah tried to ask you until she followed where you stared and saw theodore with the ravenclaw , "oh".

you nodded besides her , forcing a tight smile onto your lips and finally dragging your eyes from them , "its fine , everyone knows he doesnt like me back, i guess i was just in denial about it."

hannah saddened at the forced laugh that you let out , pulling you into a hug and rubbing your back , "he was never good enough for you anyways. youre a whole galaxy and theodore nott is the moon , nothing compared to you."

"i love the moon," you said softly as your eyes began to well up with tears.

hannah pulled back and scanned the room before grabbing your hand , "professor flitwick isnt here yet , leave now and if he asks ill say you were sick. go to our dorms and ill get snacks from the kitchen and we can stay in tonight , sound good?"

you smiled happily at her , "thank you hannah"

she returned the smile with a light nod before handing you your bag and shooing you away , watching as you left the classroom hastily.

failing to feel theos eyes that burned into your fleeting figure.

---

the next few days were odd for theodore nott. something felt missing but he couldnt quite place his finger on it...

that was until he made eye contact with you in the hall and watched in suprise as you looked away and practically sprinted down the corridor , rather than coming up to him with a bright small and a new topic to rant about.

and he didnt like it. not one bit.

for the rest of the week he picked up on the things that you did - or didnt do.

how your smile would drop when you made eye contact with theodore. how youd talk happily to lorenzo and then make an excuse to leave as soon as theo tried to join the coversation. how you stopped sitting next to him in potions and instead sat with hermione , chatting away to her and not noticing the glare theodore sent towards the both of you.

but the one thing that pushed him over the edge was when he flew out onto the quidditch pitch and immediately searched for you in the stands , only to spot you waving at diggory , wearing his jersey?!

theodore had never felt jealous before -lies- but in that moment he held onto his broom a lot harder than before , his whole body felt hotter and his eyes glared holes into cedric diggorys back.

lets just say that throughout the match he made sure to shove diggory with every chance he got , eventhough none of it was necessary as they had completely different roles in the game.

"nott get off diggorys fucking broom and do your job!" adrian shouted at him from across the pitch , making theodore roll his eyes before giving cedric a last shove and flying away.

from the stands you watched theodore in confusion ,along with the rest of the audience , staring as he yet again flew in the path of cedric and shoved him to the side before contiuing to chase the hufflepuff chaser.

"it seems like nott is more concered in giving the golden boy diggory a good push rather than actually fulfilling his job , typical slytherins playing dirty in my opinion-" lees comentating was cut off by professor mcgonagall clearing her throat , "sorry professor."

----

the match had ended and purely because of the rest of the slytherin team , they won , however the poor performance of theodore threw the whole teams goal points off.

"what the fuck is wrong with you theodore!?" draco shouted as the team entered the changing tents , "if i hadnt gotten that golden snitch we wouldve lost AND been the comedic relief of all the other houses!"

theodore let out a heavy sigh before sitting down on one of the benches with his head in his hands , pulling his hair aggresively, "shove off malfoy im not in the mood".

"all this because of some hufflepuff mudblood wearing diggorys jersey-" draco started again , before being pushing harshly by a now infuriated theodore.

"the FUCK did you say malfoy?!" theo screamed in his face , being pulled away by lorenzo who tried to calm the situation.

"guys we won and thats all that matters!" enzo tried to reason with the furious boys.

"barley , berkshire! theo over here nearly fucked everything up because of childish jealousy!" draco shouted back , venom dripping off his words.

"who said i was fucking jealous?" theo shouted back as majority of the team turned to him with disbelief.

"you nearly dropped the quaffle twice because you were too busy figuring out how you could shove cedric on the way to the goalhoops-" mattheo started before being cut off by the curtain of the tent being pulled back.

revealing a girl covered in bright yellow , covering her eyes and trying to walk into the tent without falling, "c-can i look?".

the whole tent gaped in shock before lorenzo finally spoke up , "yeah..yeah you can look y/n dont worry."

you quickly uncovered your eyes and blinked as they adjusted to the light , looking at the scene before you which showed theodore being held back from draco by lorenzo and a disapproving mattheo stood in front of the lockers.

"theodore what are you-" you started before being cut off by the boy shaking his head rapidly.

"stop - stop calling me theodore i cant stand when you call me that."

you stared in suprise as theodore shrugged off lorenzos hands and walked over to you, this was possibly the most emotion the boy had shown to you.

"oh uh right sorry , i just wanted to say well done for the match. i was rooting for hufflepuff but there isnt any other team that deserve it more than you guys!" you smiled awkwardly as the team thanked you a short silence following , "anyways , theres a certain hufflepuff thats a bit gutted about his loss so im gonna-"

"diggory?" theo asked with a sour tone as he stepped closer to you , not breaking eye contact.

"yeah , hes upset but i said if he lost id make him a crochet blanket to make him feel better so-"

"but you only make me crochet things." theodore said coldly as you stuttered again , unfamiliar with this behaviour from theo.

"ha , yeah i do but um , i didnt think you liked them so i thought id just put my efforts elsewhere!" you laughed awkwardly.

"the blanket you made him's on his bed , he takes it home aswell because he cant sleep without it-" mattheos teasing was cut off by a sharp glare from theo.

"shut up riddle!" theo seethed before turning back to you.

"no dont be embarassed theo - its nice to know you love it!" you said , finally regaining a comfort in theos presence at this news.

"i love you." he stated simply as the whole room fell into a dead silence.

your mouth hung wide open , as did his teamates before they were ushered out of the room by enzo , your moment with theo requiring the upmost privacy.

"you- you what?!" you asked in pure shock as the final player exited the tent.

"i love you," theo stated again as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"but- but you like hate me , you dont even reply when i talk or smile at me-" you ranted.

"youre right, i hate you. i hate how you love me more than anyone else has before you... i hate your hair and your perfect smile.... and i despise how you make me feel," he stepped so close that your bodies touched and his hand rested on your cheek firmly , "but theres a very thin line between love and hate."

you gaped up at him in suprise , "theo-"

he quickly took a step back and walked to his locker , pulling out a top, more specifically his jersey that he now handed to you.

"take that god awful jersey off i dont think i can handle looking at it for one more second" he said bitterly , staring down at the yellow top you wore with distaste.

"i love you too." you said , still frozen in place and staring up at him.

"i think everyone knows that princess." he said with a laugh , the first laugh youd heard from him in a long time.

a blush spread to your cheeks , both at his words and the addictive sound of his soft chuckle.

"why have you always ignored me if you love me?" you asked still being slightly unpleased with his random confession.

his smile dropped as he frowned and looked at you sympathetically , "i just thought you were doing it all for fun , maybe to mock me or something. i tried to shut out the fact i like you and it clearly didnt work , i was just ...scared." he confessed in a moment of complete vunerability.

you admired him with care and empathy as he spoke from his heart so purely , before your face cracked into a teasing smile , "you know i wasnt actually rooting for hufflepuff?"

he smirked wrapping arms around your waist and pulling you in closer ,"oh really?"

you nodded and pulled the braid in your hair over your shoulder , to reveal the dark green bow that wrapped around the end of it.

theodore grinned upon seeing this as you both giggled , a sweet first kiss following the heart to heart.

[endlesslycoffee]

well today would be my three year anniversary with my ex

[loliwrites]

IV. Fortitude | Edelweiss

pairing: joel miller x f!reader  rating: explicit, 18+, minors dni  warnings/tags: jackson era!joel, sharpshooter!reader, age difference [joel is mid 50s, reader is early to mid 30s], joel lives forever fight me, switching povs, canon compliant violence, brief description of blood, mention of terrible humans, brief discussion of trauma-induced menopause, SMUT, greenhouse sex [sorry plants], unprotected p in v sex, reader rides joel within an inch of his life, oral [f receiving], gentle choking, praise kink [good girl, attagirl], terms of endearment [sweet girl, pretty girl], semi-somnophilia [joel’s partly awake], mutual masturbation, female reader, no physical description, protective!joel, no use of y/n. word count: 7.0k series masterlist  a/n: we start with joel’s pov in this one. look at the tags, this is mostly pwp

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

“M’not sayin’ forever, Tommy. Just for a while. A week even,” Joel chased Tommy around his kitchen as he moved to prepare dinner. Elsewhere in the house, Maria was feeding the baby.

“When did you sleep with her?”

“What’re you talking about?”

“You’re doin’ that thing you always do, Joel,” Tommy shook his head and threw a skillet onto the stove. “Going in full protector mode after you sleep with a woman. Did it in the 90s. Did it again with Tess. And now with her.” He threw a handful of cut up rhubarb into the pan with butter, “she’s too valuable on patrol. She needs to go,”

Joel clenched his jaw, the muscle by his temple pulsing. “She needs a break, Tommy.”

“We all–”

“Goddammit!” Joel pounded his fists against the counter, “she’s been goin’ out with me six days a fucking week. Six days a week, thinking she’s gonna run into one of ‘em and be dragged back into that nightmare. Get fuckin’ violated on a daily basis for kicks. So excuse me if I’m goin’ full protector mode. I’m out there with her everyday. I have to go into protector mode. And it’s not just ‘cause I’m sleeping with her. You’d do the same thing if you knew what I know. Just…” he shook his head, “stick her in the greenhouse or somethin’. Give her a breather,”

“So you are sleeping with her,” Tommy smirked, pushing the rhubarb around.

Joel stared at his brother with supreme annoyance and rolled his eyes, “Tommy.”

“Okay, greenhouse, fine. Just for a week, Joel. They’ve been coming in closer and I don’t think they’re gonna stop so long as the weather’s bad,”

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

You weren’t sure what you had done wrong. One day you’re falling into a routine with Joel on patrol, establishing a shorthand together that makes the work easier. And the next you’re banished to the greenhouse. Well, maybe not banished. But Tommy had pulled you aside one morning when you arrived at the stables to saddle your horse, and told you that you’d be staying in Jackson this week. That he’d be going on patrol with Joel. If it wasn’t banishment, it sure felt like punishment. As your head hung low and you shuffled back to the greenhouse, you wondered if Joel had said something to Tommy about your entanglement. Maybe he’d regretted doing it and asked his brother to step in and create a little distance between the two of you.

It had been a few days since then. A few days of walking into the greenhouse and seeing Wendy’s perpetual smile and wondering why you weren’t able to do the same. A few days of replaying that night with Joel in your mind and trying to figure out where it went wrong. A few days of not seeing him. It shouldn’t have been like this. It shouldn’t have gone so far for you to be thinking… wondering… about him all day long. It shouldn’t have gotten to the point that you were second-guessing yourself. What if he didn’t like the way you did something? What if he’d been expecting more and didn’t want to deal with your “shortcomings”?

And it was perhaps a little ridiculous for your brain to have gone down this route. How many patrols had you gone on that when Joel got home, all he wanted to do was collapse onto his couch, sip a beer, and try to ignore the pang of hurt in his lower back. Maybe it was nothing. And maybe it was everything.

Between planting, watering, pruning, and harvesting, you found time to hide away in the corner of the greenhouse and admire the edelweiss. It had grown stronger in its time outside. Spending the days out in the elements, while being safely stored inside during the night, had given its root system to dig in. The stems more robust. The flower had found a way of being sturdy enough to survive the world and yet flexible enough to bend with the wind.

Wendy called out just as you’d wedged your foot between the door and the jamb. Hands full with the tray of edelweiss, you used your body to slink into the greenhouse, saving the flowers from the harsh winter night. She was heading home and suggested you do the same before the storm blew in. Judging by what you’d just endured out there, you figured the storm had already blown in. But after humming a noncommittal response to her, you heard the door open and knew she’d be on her way back home safe and warm. Into the arms of her partner. And knowing that, it put you in no particular rush to get back to your little cottage all alone.

You’d only just arranged the edelweiss tray back on its work table when you heard the door open back up. Maybe it had gotten worse out there. But far be it from Wendy to enter a room without a statement. And not hearing her voice ringing out through the glass walls, you looked up from the work table.

There he was. Walking toward you in no particular rush. It’d only been a handful of days but he looked different than your mind had allowed you to remember. His graying curls looked longer. They cascaded down to his neck and curled around his ears. His beard was a little fuller than it had been on your night with him. His gait so slow you wondered if he’d keep up the momentum to take the next step. You wanted to run up and jump into him – either kissing or swatting at him, you weren’t sure which would come first. With exhibited restraint, you only turned to face him head on; your hands nervously fiddling at your sides. Once Joel was a few steps away, you spotted that not only did he look a little worse for wear, but his clothes did too. His winter coat ripped at the shoulder seam. The sleeve hung on for dear life. And the coat itself looked like it’d been caked in mud, now dried and spattered everywhere. He even had a cut on his cheek that was a couple days old. No longer bleeding, but just by the look of it, you knew it was deep enough to have been one that took awhile to clot.

“Hi,” his voice was far lower than his normal volume. Though you heard him clearly, you lacked the immediate ability to respond more than a nod. “Miss me?”

You shook your head. That was obviously a lie and you figured Joel knew that too, judging by the smile that flickered across his face. He brought his hand up to your chin and used the leverage to tilt your head back, making it impossible for you to look anywhere but at him. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip; eyes being directed to the plush skin.

Then he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours with force. In between deep breaths, he muttered the three little words you’d been longing to hear. The ones that would reassure you he hadn’t been purposefully avoiding contact. “I missed you.” He pushed his tongue into your mouth, finding yours and it elicited a moan from him. He stepped forward into you, crowding you up against the work table. His hands moving around to your back and sliding all the way down to your ass, which he squeezed at the first possible moment. “Missed this,” he mumbled over your lips. One hand lowered between your ass and pressed up against your jeans until he hit the resistance of your entrance against it.

A whimper made its way from your throat and into Joel’s mouth. Your hands lifted to his chest; fingers curled around his flannel and tugged. At the present moment, unsure if you wanted to keep him close or push him away. Not that you’d get too much time to ponder it. Joel lifted a hand to your neck, fingers on one side, thumb on the other. It lacked any real pressure though you remained acutely aware of the feeling.

“How ‘bout you drop your pants and turn around for me?”

“Someone might see us,” you looked out, freezing with hesitation.

Joel’s fingers tightened around your throat by the smallest amount and you looked back up into his eyes. “No one’s gonna see us,” he reassured but it didn’t get you moving. “Drop your pants to your ankles, turn around, and bend over with your forearms on the table,”

The resoluteness in his gaze and voice convinced you he was right. No one would see you. They’d have to be absolutely crazy to be out in the snow flurry. So your hands went to the button of your jeans and undid it. The move to lower the zipper was even slower. Joel nodded to you, yes on the right track. And when you bent forward to push them down your legs, his hand moved from your neck to the back of your head. His massive paw cradling the back of it. Your head was so close to his waist; you figured that’s what his real intent had been. Though your pants were down, instead of returning upright, you got down on your knees and reached for his belt.

“Oh, good girl,” he growled. “Y’wanna suck on my cock?”

Your eyes flicked up to him, not sure if your answer was actually yes or no. Ultimately, you wanted him to feel good. To not put you through the mental torment you’d spent the last few days muddling through. 

“Think you could take all of it without choking?” But Joel took your hand in his and pulled you back up to your feet, “later. Turn around and bend over f’me.”

Obliging, you spun around and faced the work table. Staring at it with wide eyes, you bent over until your forearms rested over the sanded wood like he had asked of you. And looking over your shoulder, you watched as he knelt down (his knees fighting against the action), and he softly stripped you of your underwear; coaxing them down over your legs until they met with your pants at your ankles. He groped at your ass with both hands and spread the cheeks apart, presenting your most intimate areas to him. And without restraint or contemplation, he licked his lips and leaned in to you. Kissed your entrance and quickly followed it up with his tongue. Rimmed your hole and then closed his mouth around you. 

Your head bowed forward, nearly hitting the table. A hum for continuation filled the space between you, and your thighs trembled when Joel ducked lower and slid his tongue to your clit. Fists squeezed in on themselves forming slight crescent shapes in your palm. And just when you didn’t think it could feel any better, Joel shifted back to your entrance, pairing it with his fingers on your clit. While he massaged the sensitive bud with insistent fingertips, his tongue rolled over your hole, urging it open and relaxed.

“Joel,” you gasped, reaching with one hand and making contact with the back of his head. You pressed on it, pushing him tighter to you. To give you more, more, more. “Oh, god–” your legs stumbled further apart. The clinking of a belt buckle rang out and it wasn’t long from there that you heard Joel starting to stroke himself.

His lips and tongue never stopped moving and were matched perfectly to the rhythm of his fingers. Even when he pressed his tongue past your tight muscle, it seemed all part of this dance you were just starting to learn. Cheek now firmly pressed to the table, you moaned and whined for release or reprieve. He could give you either.

The climax snuck up on you again. Just a split second of realization between feeling good and feeling amazing. Your legs trembled beneath you. Had the table not been beneath you and providing your only true support, you’d have been a sobbing heap on the floor. Joel spread his large hands over your quads, rubbing them down. His lips never left your core, lapping up every drop your body was inclined to give him. And only once your legs stopped twitching, did he rise from his knees. 

His pants fell to his feet but you couldn’t bring yourself to use the energy to stand up. Your lungs were still on fire, sucking in deep breaths. Not even fully recovered before Joel wrapped an arm over your chest and hauled you up. Your back pressed tight to his chest; his lips at your ear. But what held your attention most was the feeling of his length pressing between your legs. His hand guided his member into place, notched the head at your entrance, then gripped onto your ass again to give him the space to move more freely. And the hand that was pressed over your chest shifted down to the table, right beside yours. He’d been so cautious the first time. So adamant about taking it slow, about listening to you – about using protection. This was so different from that. So frantic. Almost like them.

“Let’s see if we can make you come all over my cock,” he whispered in your ear.

Before you could respond, he pushed his hips forward, burying himself balls deep inside you in one thrust. You shrieked and tried to wiggle your hips away, but Joel lifted his hand from the table and cupped your sex. Fingertips ghosted over your clit for the time being.

“Where’re you goin’?” He smiled, kissed just below your earlobe, and began thrusting up into you, unintentionally pressing his tip against the opening to your cervix. “Feel how deep I am? Look,” Joel pressed on your lower belly which seemed to bulge each time he forced himself back into you. “All up in you. Look how you fit me so deep inside you,”

He was relentless. Taking as much as he wanted in the moment. And you, already growing sore, were there just to take it. Your ass stung with the slap of his sweat-sheened skin against yours. You wondered if this was just how it went. That all men reverted back to selfishness. That there was actually very little that separated Joel from them. The way your hip bumped into the table told you that you were going to be left with a bruise you’d seen before. You could feel your thoughts slipping away. You were on the edge of disconnecting yourself; quietness replacing the sounds of pleasure. Surely he wouldn’t notice.

Maybe he’d come back to himself. Or maybe he realized you were removing yourself from the act. But Joel’s touch to your clit grew gentler, his thrusts while still chasing an orgasm, were less harsh on your body. And his lips on your neck delivered feather light kisses up the side, back to your ear. With a voice like velvet, he purred in your ear, “oh, sweet girl. I missed you this week,”

That was all you needed to come back to him. Those simple words to remember that there was a great deal that separated Joel from the others. You let out a needy whimper. This one paired with your head turning to the side, searching for his lips. He lifted his head and kissed you slowly, letting each nerve ending feel him there. And his hips slowed to accommodate the tender action. He grinded into you, circling his hips for a continued depth. Another whine and you could feel Joel’s lips stretch into a grin against yours.

“Yeah? Tell me about it,” he pulled back and stared down into your eyes, hips returning to languid thrusts, pulling nearly all the way out and then plunging himself back in until he bottomed out.

“Missed you,” while never breaking eye contact, you lifted your hand and held on to his wrist that was still wrapped around you. His fingers rubbing over your bud like he had no particular plans of stopping soon. “Tommy wouldn’t let me go on patrol. I wanted–”

“I know,”

You silently questioned his words. Did he know what you wanted? Or did he know why Tommy hadn’t let you out past the gates? Everything was put on the back burner when your body clenched around his shaft and it pulled a guttural moan from him. His body smothered yours over the table. His hips stuttered forward.

“M’gonna come,” he pressed down on your back and pinned your chest to the table. “Where–”

“Inside,”

“No,” he argued and was almost undone at the sight when he looked down at his waist and bore visual witness to his shaft moving in and out of you, covered in your slick. “Too soon,”

You reached back as best you could for his hip, trying to hold him place, “doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does,” he pulled himself out. With one hand stroking himself with fury and the other pressed against the back of your head to hold you still, he came over your lower back. Rope after rope of his spend hit the dip in your back and dripped down along the curve of your spine at your lower back. And with a deep exhale, he released his length and let it rest against your backside. 

When he let go of your head, you leaned up on your elbows and looked back at him, “was it good?”

A boyish smile flashed over his lips, “it was great.” He flexed his hips forward into you, “let me find something to clean you up.”

“There’s some rags in the bin by the door.” You watched his progress of pulling his pants back up into place before he went to retrieve a rag. On his way back, you propped your head up in your hand. “Could’ve avoided this if you came inside me,” you pursed your lips matter-of-factly, “not like you’re gonna knock me up.”

He wiped the rag over your back until you were cleaned of his come. “I don’t want you to think I’m only having sex with you so I can come inside you. Ain’t doin’ it like it’s just some kink to fill you up,”

“I don’t think that,”

“I’m not like them.”

Joel tossed the rag onto the work table and you stood up to face him. With your pants still around your feet, it was almost like you were presenting yourself to him. “Definitely not like them. You’ve made me come,”

A flush rose in his cheeks and he hooked his arm around your shoulders to pull you into a haphazard kiss. You leaned in to him as well; your palm pressing into his crotch again. But Joel laced your fingers with his and led your hand away and up to his chest.

“I appreciate you but…” he kissed your forehead once and then took a step back, “it don’t work as fast as it used to.” He tapped your hip softly, “c’mon, let’s get you home.”

You pulled your pants back into place and did them up, whereupon Joel took your hand and led you out of the greenhouse. Just before you stepped back out onto the streets of Jackson, you wondered if he’d drop your hand, or if anyone would see the act. But it all was unfounded because the moment you stepped outside, you knew you wouldn’t see anyone on the street. The wind whipped your hair into your face, and it took almost all your concentration to keep it subdued. 

In fact, you’d never been so happy to see your little, half-dilapidated cottage. So much that you were the one to drop Joel’s hand to run up the porch and furiously shove your key into the lock. The winters weren’t getting any less harsh.

Joel was right behind you, and thankfully didn’t turn away at the entry, but rather followed you in and locked the door behind him. Good. He had plans to stick around for a while.

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

Warm, fed, and curled up beneath a wool blanket on the couch, you watched Joel add a couple logs to your wood-burning stove. He poked them around and once adjusted to his liking, slotted the little door shut and groaned when he got back onto his feet.

You slipped a hand out from beneath the blanket and reached out in his direction. Making grabby hands at him until you were convinced he was on his way over to you to stay. When he lowered himself onto the couch, you wrapped the blanket around your shoulders and scurried over into his lap; feeling almost foolish at the level of closeness you desired. But that feeling only seemed to be one sided because Joel herded you there and wrapped both arms around your waist.

After a quick lean in to peck his lips, you lifted your hand to his cheek where the healing cut was and carefully brushed your fingers over it, “how’d you get this?”

He was staring at your lips but when you questioned him again with a hum, he glanced up into your eyes, “on patrol.”

“Yeah, but how,” you moved your hand down to his jaw and scritched through his whiskers. “What happened?”

Joel knew he wasn’t going to lie to you but he also didn’t want to say too much. Maybe he’d tell you that he and Tommy had run into some more people perceived to be part of your old group, but would leave out that they had another girl with them. Maybe he’d say that they managed to handle the men, but would leave out that when they tried to help the girl – to bring her back to Jackson – she took off running. And he’d definitely leave out the fact that he and Tommy wondered if they should take her out before she had a chance to tell the others about what had happened. In the end, they didn’t, and knew they’d deal with whatever they had to in the aftermath.

“We ran into a couple guys,”

“From…?”

He nodded and eased your hair back, away from your face, “think so.”

“Did you…?”

“They’re not going to hurt anyone ever again,” he set his hand down on your thigh and gave it a squeeze. “I asked Tommy to take you off patrol for awhile,”

You inhaled slowly. A part of you thought this confession would’ve been met with anger, but you felt everything but. Instead you nodded and fiddled with a button on his shirt.

“M’tryin’ to protect you. I don’t want you to have to keep remembering these guys,” 

You nodded again. No matter how much disappointment you may’ve been feeling about it all, it paled in comparison to the empathy you had for him. It was never going to be easy for you, but you understood how hard it must’ve been for him to watch you be affected. You pushed your hand back through his hair with something resembling love, “I want to be useful and that’s the best way I know how. If it’s too much, I can ask for a different partner.”

The look of pseudo-betrayal on Joel’s face took you aback. “No. If you’re going out, I’m the one goin’ with you,” he leaned in for another kiss, both hands now cupped around your face. He tilted his head to the side and parted his lips but in a flash, pulled away and gave you the more incredulous of looks, “goin’ out with someone else... You must be crazy,”

Heat emanated throughout your body. Slowly but surely, it was happening. Joel Miller was making you his.

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

At some point sleep would befall you, right? Wrong. It seemed less than restful, but at least Joel was sleeping. Sometimes on his stomach, limbs all outstretched. And sometimes – like now – on his back with one hand on his chest and the other flung out, hanging off the side of the bed. You wondered if he was dreaming about anything in particular, or if the semi he was sporting was the doing of something more involuntary.

Rolling over onto your side into him, you set a gentle hand on his stomach, waiting to see if that would be enough to wake him. No luck. “Joel,” you whispered into the ether. Then just slightly louder, “Joel.”

“Hmph,”

You tried shaking him but it didn’t rouse him any further. At least not to the point of having him open his eyes, “Joel,” you whined a little louder. And when that didn’t work, you let your hand drift down from his stomach and to his crotch.

A stronger exhale came from him and figuring you were on the right track, you curled your fingers around his covered shaft and gave him a soft squeeze. He stretched out the tiniest amount so you inched in closer to him, your lips now at his neck, suckling on his skin while your hand began moving up and down the underside of his covered cock.

“Joel,”

“Hmm?”

You bit into his neck with more purpose, “I need you.” And now rolling your hips into his side, “you made me all sore and achy.” Even in the darkness, you swore you saw his lips twitch into a smirk. “Want you to fill me up,”

He took a deep breath and slowly blinked awake. Then turning his head on the pillow, he looked over at you. His voice low and gravelly, “yeah? You think you can take it right now?”

In this moment, you didn’t care how eager you looked, nodding wildly at him.

“How do I know you’re wet enough?” Joel reached forward and undid the first couple buttons on his flannel that you now wore. Enough to see your breasts; nipples perking up in the cool night air. “Show me,”

Hesitancy washed over you, hoping you’d do this correctly. Unsure of what he was expecting, you removed your hand from his length and slid it beneath the sheets and between your legs. Two of your fingers running down your slit and circling around your core. Embarrassingly wet, you thought. You never broke eye contact with Joel but when you pulled your hand out from beneath the sheets, you again grew unsure of what he was expecting. 

Out of the darkness, “set ‘em here.” The moonlight coming through the window silhouetted his face in the most beautiful way. Beyond the outline of his features, you could see he’d pursed his lips.

You brought your fingers closer to him and when they were nearly there, Joel opened his mouth. A clear invitation to resting your fingers on his tongue. He moaned at first taste and you could only watch in awe as he sucked reverently at your fingers and reached down to cup his manhood. His tongue worked over both fingers together, up and down the length of them, being sure that no part went un-licked. And when he started slowing down, you slid them out of his mouth, still staring at him in awe.

“I don’t think you’re wet enough,”

An exasperated whimper. “Joel,”

“C’mere,” he nodded his head to the side, ushering you nearer. “Get on top of me and show me how nicely you touch yourself,”

No other coaxing was needed for you to scramble on top of him, being careful to straddle him completely instead of kneeing him in the dark. Only you didn’t exactly realize how far you’d have to straddle. Almost painfully so. Your quads and hamstrings put in the work to keep yourself up enough so you could perform the act he’d asked of you. 

Joel pressed his hands to your ass to guide you forward, up closer to his bellybutton than his cock. One hand remained there but the other drifted away. You figured to his shaft, and were proved right when you felt the head of his cock bump against your ass, at the mercy of his frantic strokes.

“Go on. Let me see,”

Slowly, you let your hand snake between your spread legs, somehow not losing the courage to maintain eye contact with Joel despite the fact that something like this had never happened with anyone before. Deft fingers circled over your clit and you added pressure to your knees to lift yourself off of him enough to slide your fingers back to your entrance. When you returned them to your clit, the slick you’d gathered helped your fingers slide easier. Head bowing and chest heaving, you released a low, reverberating moan.

The muscles in Joel’s stomach flexed and he pulled his hand away from his length, bringing it up and underneath his head. With the other, he reached up and nudged his flannel off your shoulders. The fabric fell to your elbows, freeing your upper half from anything to conceal it. Finding Joel’s eyes on you, they seemed to twinkle upon having an unobstructed view of your breasts. Couldn’t even keep himself from taking a handful of your flesh, tapering down to his index finger and thumb around your nipple. You dropped yourself to his waist and grinded yourself against him.

“Look at you, pretty girl,”

There was unadulterated admiration in his eyes but you found it hard to look in them for very long. No one had ever looked at you like that for this reason. Sure, with your rifle, people you’d come across had all given you a similar type of look. But nothing like this. And with your fingers on yourself, you thought you could see stars in a way like never before. Joel had other plans for you though.

A firm squeeze on your hip got your immediate attention. “Ready to go for a ride?”

“What?”

Joel lifted his hips off the bed and up into you to get his point across. “Get after it,”

It was all you had wanted. When you rolled over into him and set your hand over his member, your intent had been for him to fill the void he’d created within you. So despite the nerves, once you understood the objective, you (as Joel put it) got after it. Lifted yourself up onto your knees just as much as was necessary to reach back between your legs and grab onto his length.

You stared directly in his eyes when you notched it at your entrance and slowly lowered down on him. His jaw fell slack; glassy-eyed and partially still fighting sleep. And the moment you were fully seated on him, his eyes drifted shut. The hand on your hip tightening around the curve there.

Oh he felt good. Molded out of something heavenly and fit inside you like a puzzle piece you didn’t know had been missing. And like this – sitting on top of him, feeling like you had every bit of control you desired was something beyond new. It almost made you wish that all the other times had been like this, while simultaneously so relieved that the first time it was like this was with Joel. 

Rocking back and forth on him at your own speed was divine. Each slight movement provided the perfect amount of friction to your clit. Better than fingers could do. Better than the way his body had rubbed against you when he was on top. You could press down on him as hard as you wanted to. And you did. Grinded down on him and circled your hips. Almost as if you were using him in the same type of way you had been used all those times before. Judging by the look on his face, you doubted if Joel cared about being used for this. His hand remained ever present on your hip and whenever the rhythm started to falter, his fingers gripped into you and helped you along. A steady pattern of movement returning to you.

“Fuck me,” he growled, voice lowering in timbre. His eyes were glued to where your bodies met. The sight of his length thrusting up into you and then coming back into sight, covered in your arousal, was almost more than he could bear. In his ascending age, he surprised himself in even being able to last as long as he had. “Squeezin’ me so good. Like you’re made for me, huh?”

A hum and a feeble nod was all you could manage. The feeling that your voice would be insufficient at the given moment was growing more real. Was this how it was supposed to feel? Decidedly, yes.

But Joel, a man not easily satisfied, wouldn’t take that for an answer. Wouldn’t let you get away with something so noncommittal. He lifted his hips clear off the bed, pushing up into you until you shrieked at the pressure of the head of his cock pressing against your cervix. “Say it,”

You threw your head back and stared up a the ceiling, desperately dragging your core along him. “M’made for you,”

“Again,”

Eyes lowered back down to Joel, capturing his face in the glow of the moonlight. Despite the immense pleasure you were getting from him, you wanted to smack him. What was he doing to you? “M’made for you,”

A smirk slid over his lips, encapsulating all of his features, “again,”

“Joel,” you whined, burying him back inside you to the hilt. You circled your hips again, keeping him deep and somehow needing him even deeper.

“Say it again and I’ll give you what you want,”

A growl rumbled in your throat. Frustration in you that only made him smile harder. “I’m made for you,”

You didn’t know it was possible for his smile to get even wider. And as promised, he set forth to give you what you wanted. A strong arm wrapped around your back, and one moment you were on top of him, and the next, you were being whipped around like a ragdoll. Body hit the mattress with force. Joel reached between and guided himself back inside you. A whisper of a moan floated out of his mouth and into yours when he pressed in for a kiss. Lips parted and tongue reaching for yours, you took everything he gave.

Knowing you were fully distracted by his lips, Joel hooked his hand beneath your knee and brought your leg up along his chest. Your foot dangled over his shoulder, and you pulled away from his kiss and looked up at him with a furrowed brow and a wince. He replaced his hands to the bed on either side of you and rocked his hips forward again, causing a deepening of your frown.

“Too much?”

“No,” you closed your eyes and made the conscious effort to allow your body to take in everything you were feeling and assign elsewhere but pain. “I think I like it,”

“Attagirl,” 

Had your eyes been open, you would’ve found Joel beaming. Oozing satisfaction. If he had known this was what was going to happen between you two, he probably wouldn’t have held a gun so steadfastly to your face when you first met a few months back. Now he let your leg fall from his chest into a much more natural position, and lowered himself in between your legs. Your thighs the perfect cradle for him. His thrusts changed from a long, deep, sweeping motion into much shorter presses inside where his shaft stretched you to capacity; your body stinging in pleasure. 

He buried his face into your neck and suckled at your skin with passion while your hand snaked to the back of his head. Fingers tangled in his curls and gave them a generous tug. You could cry out at the feeling of his length rubbing against your front wall, and very nearly did, except that the sound of his voice, all playful and gravelly, rang in your ears.

“Like how I feel in ya’, babygirl?”

All you could do was whimper and nod. It wasn’t lost on you that Joel’s lips stretched into a smile. You could feel it on your skin. 

“Y’think you can come like this?” He nibbled your earlobe softly.

Again, you could only muster a nod. This one paired with a needy moan. You certainly wanted him to make you come like this. It was all building in your lower stomach like it had when he’d gone down on you. But that was where the similarities ended. You had felt that orgasm coming in practically every nerve ending in your body. It was everywhere. Pure ecstasy. This felt much more concentrated to your core. All of it, right there where you were connected. It wasn’t not ecstasy. Just different. 

“Good fuckin’ girl,” he whispered, administering a slightly rougher bite to your neck. “Let me feel you soak me,”

“Joel,” you cried out, an actual tear falling from the outer corner of your eye.

“Yeah?” He pulled his head back away from you and nodded, encouraging, “give it to me. Show me how good I make you feel,”

In this moment of extreme vulnerability, his eyes on you felt like they were piercing your heart. Ripping away your armor and leaving your soul bare to him. It was almost too much.

Joel felt the way you tensed and strained beneath him. It wasn’t just the muscles squeezing his length, it seemed like it was every muscle in your body. He shook his head kindly, “so pretty like this. All stretched open and stuffed full of me. Takin’ me so well. You were made for me, babygirl,”

Your fingers yanked at his hair harder. It was the only thing you knew to do with the feelings going on inside you. Thankfully it appeared he knew what that meant and he didn’t change a thing. Not the speed, the force, the rhythm. Kept everything exactly the same. He was going to be the first man to get you to finish like this. 

Legs squeezed tighter around his hips. Biceps and abs flexed and held tense. Your entire body stiffened as the coil in your stomach snapped. A flash of white blurred out your vision and the ringing in your ears started thereafter. And then, the trembling began. It started in your legs; thighs basically vibrating against his hips. Then the shivers moved up by way of your spine until you were just a spasming mess beneath Joel. He, of course, took it all in stride wearing a proud smile. His thrusts softened but didn’t stop completely.

It was actually how you realized he was about to pull out to finish. He’d been steady through everything. Not evening the clenching of your core had made him switch up his pattern. But when his backward pull was longer than the rest had been, you knew he was about to pull out. The airy groan that came from him was also a pretty good indication.

“No,” you lowered your hands to his ass and dug your nails into his flesh. “Inside, I want it inside,” you tilted your head back, panting, but still had the power to nip at his jaw. “I earned it,”

He laughed. A quick exhale of air but in his current position, was not in the state to object too vehemently anymore. It only took one more. He simply pressed himself back into you balls deep and began painting your insides with his spend. Joel let out a deep, labored moan and settled down on top of you. The weight of him kept you present in this moment; always keenly aware that a man had just came inside you yet it was one you had asked that of. 

The feeling of him softening inside you riled you enough to lift your hand back to the side of his head, tucking a curl behind his ear. A well-placed kiss to his temple got him moving, too. “Still with me?” you mocked, scritching his head.

With a tone of feigned hurt, “I’m not that old.” As if to prove that point, he pushed up on his hand and lifted himself – almost got out of your octopus grip before you held on to keep him in place. He glanced back down at you with a boyish grin, “just gonna grab something to clean you up.”

“I don’t need to be cleaned up,” you dared to look him right in the eye. All the walls were down now. While he rolled onto his back, you turned into him, head in the crook of his neck, and rested your hand on his chest. “Do you have nightmares?”

“Sometimes. You?”

You nodded and looked up at the ceiling, thinking about how when you were a kid, your bedroom ceiling was riddled with glow in the dark stars and planets. The one above you now was pitch black. “What’re they about?”

Joel looked up at the ceiling too. He wasn’t sure he wanted to go down a long, dark path about the night of the outbreak. About Sarah. Wasn’t sure he was strong enough to relive it in consciousness. Reliving it in his subconsciousness was bad enough. “Usually that first week of outbreak. Unfortunately all those things are real and not just somethin’ my mind made up.” He glanced back over at you from his periphery, “how ‘bout yours?”

“Strangely enough, all the recent ones have been about not returning to… here. Been a long time since my nightmares were about losing home,”

He turned and lifted his head enough to kiss your forehead. When he settled back on his side, he flung his arm over you and pulled you in closer to his broad frame, “luckily here’s not going anywhere.”

Soon Joel’s breathing started to even back out; a reminder that you’d woken him out of a dead sleep. You turned away from him, scooting back as delicately as you could until your back hit his chest. In an early stage of sleep, his arm squeezed around you. Although it hadn’t started this way, after your eyes had drifted shut, it was the first stint of restful sleep that you’d had in a long, long time.

[paiges-1vur]

from across the crowd pt. 2… and as always enjoy loves <3 🏀⚡️🪩

“you probably have a boyfriend.. right?”

I heard what she had said, but it was like the words didn’t register in my head for another minute. i blush for a moment, and look down before looking back at her, smiling. “no..” I say giggling slightly. why am i acting this way? Tiff lock in. she seems genuinely surprised, but before surprise another emotion crosses her face that i cant decode. “a beautiful girl like you must have a boyfriend, though” she says in total surprise. she must think im lying. “no.. no boyfriend haha” I say trying to calm my nerves. why am i so worked up right now?

“well im sure your ex boyfriends regret ever leaving you, or letting you leave” she says, flattering me. i tense up for a moment. how do i put this? “ive.. never uh- had a boyfriend” i say shyly, slightly embarrassed. i can tell my cheeks are red, but i cant do anything to hide it. “no way..” she says quietly matching my volume. she pauses before speaking again. a smirk spans over her face and she puts her hands in the pockets of her sweats. my eyes flicker down to them for a minute. my breath catches in my throat. im suddenly brought back to reality by u the sound of paiges voice, louder this time. “did you hear me?” i look up to see paige a little closer than before, hovering over me. a smirk that can only be described as devilish on her face. shit. she saw me. “uhm, im so sorry, what did you say?” i say hurriedly, my face even redder than before. nice going tiff way to be nonchalant. “dont worry about it” is all she says in reply.

she looks back down, into my eyes. “whats your name, pretty?” she asks me intently, looking down at me. “my name is tiffany but my friends just call me tiff” i reply, proud of myself that i didnt forget my name. “tiffany,” paige says it again. “even your name is cute huh” i cant help but blush and look away from her for a moment.

theres silence for a minute. but not necessarily awkward silence. just us co existing with each other. i decide to say ‘fuck it’ and be bold. when is the next time im ever going to talk to a hot basketball player, who by the way seems to be very into me. i break the silence. “paige, if you want to know anything, just ask me” i say in a low voice. i could tell something was puzzling her. she knew i had never dated a guy, so im sure she was wondering if im into guys at all.. she looks down at me, her voice dropping an octave. she moves a little closer to me, and we are still in the tunnel towards the locker room so its just us still there at this point. she leans into my ear, and whispers “so no boyfriends.. hm” i can smell her scent even stronger than from her sweatshirt and it’s intoxicating. my eyes flutter closed, breathing her in. she pauses for a moment and i can hear her breathing, “no..” i reply my voice breaking slightly. just when i think shes about to question me farther she leans away from my ear. “just wanted to make sure i heard you right.” she says smirking at me.

she then reaches down next to her and grabs her bag. she puts it on and grabs her glasses, also putting those on too. i secretly hope this moment never ends. “so, will you be out celebrating the win at teds tonight?” i speak up and ask. her eyes flicker to me, still in her hoodie and she smiles. “will i see you there..?” she asks looking at me. gosh. how is she even more sexy with her glasses on. “i guess so” i reply, biting my lip.

she looks me up and down one more time. i can tell seeing me in her hoodie is making her think of a lot of different scenarios right now. “i need to go find my friends,” i finally speak, “but it was really great to meet you paige… i guess i’ll see you tonight.” I say smiling, trying to process everything that just happened in the last 20 minutes. she smiles back at me “here, let me walk you out” she walks over to me. we walk out of the stadium and i look over and up at her. she really is big. my croatian genes may have made me a lethal face card, but in the height department they lacked. heavily.

I spot my friends car and stop walking, before looking at paige. this was a sight. she had pulled on pj pants after the game and had her keys hanging out of her pocket. she had also pulled the hair from her ponytail into a messy bun. i also never would have guessed that paige had glasses. but then again, i had only known the girl for less than an hour. i move closer to her and pull her into a hug. “it was so nice talking to you, ill see you tonight paige.” i say, making sure the hug stays somewhat friendly. she bends down to hug me, and her scent floods my senses once again. “bye tiff, ill see you tonight love” I walk over to the car before really thinking about what she said. before i get into the passengers seat of the car i look back at paige. shes standing with her hands in the pockets, and her stance looks quite intimidating. as soon as she sees me get into the car safely she turned around and walked to her car.

i sit down in the passenger’s seat of madisens car. i buckle up before i look up to see everyones eyes on me. their mouths are wide open and theres silence.

“what?” silence.

“TIFFANY KAY TELL US WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK JUST HAPPENED”

[amourjins]

✦ LATE NIGHT WALK? — k.mj

summary. a late night walk with your best friend, minji! ..except, theres a twist.

pair. non-idol!bsf!minji x fem!reader

content ahead. fluff, (best) friends-to-lovers, wlw, GAYS!!!!, theyre both silly, just a small bit of texting!

notes. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA who couldve guessed! surprise !! take this while you wait for tg…cause ive been procrastinating it a LOT…. (not proofread as we all know.. i proofread on a good day [which is never])

you lie awake in bed as the time read 12:37. you sighed, you didnt want to go to sleep, but you didnt have anything else to do, either.

until, that is, you felt your phone vibrate—a notification. you first shrugged it off, thinking it was some random app you didnt use anymore, but was way too lazy to delete it. after a few seconds, you decided to see what it was, and to your surprise, the notification was a text from your the one and only, kim minji! aka your best(est) friend (ever).

you could feel your tiredness just disappear all in the span of that minute.

you immediately got up from bed once you hearted the text, turning the lights on as you walked to your closet. you didnt want to keep minji waiting, so you figured you would just keep it casual with a shirt and jeans or something.

once you finally got ready, you did some finishing touches before grabbing your phone and bag, and dashing out of there excitedly. when you exited your apartment complex, there she was, in all her glory—minji!

“minji-ah!” you whisper-shouted as you swore she turned her head to you in the blink of an eye. she took her hands out of her pockets and waved at you, smiling brightly. you rushed over, embracing her in a hug as she froze, blushing a little.

“hi!—” she giggled before hugging you back tightly. you let go after a few seconds, making her pout. you didnt notice, though. you were too busy looking around the streets of seoul, wondering where you two should head first.

“mm, follow me!” you spoke, which caught the tall girl off guard, but she immediately followed after you, catching up as she walked beside you. the night sky always had you mesmerized.. but there something—someone else that had you even more mesmerized.

and it was minji.

maybe you started to develop feelings for her over these past few months with her…

you were pretty much certain that she didnt like you back. and as much as that hurt, you had to deal with it. being best friends with her is enough already, and youre grateful. but at the same time, what if she liked you back? it would.. yeah itd probably hurt to confess. but it was now or never, right? now just seemed like the perfect moment.

“crosswalk, idiot!” she reminded as she halted your movements, making you snap out of your thoughts. “oops!.. sorry,” you looked away in embarrassment as she scoffed jokingly.

you silently turned your head back to her. she was looking at the sky, and the scenery around. god, she was insanely pretty. prettier than the scenery around. prettier than anything around.

you tapped her shoulder to get her attention once you were able to cross as you two crossed the street together. your hands suddenly brushed against each other slightly, and even that made minji blush.. you were both equally down bad for each other!

once at the other side, minji’s fingers crawled on your palm before she interlocked her hand with yours, the action making you stunned, but, you werent complaining. who would?

“all the stores are closed.. aw,” minji sighed, pointing at the stores to your left as you two walked past them after a few seconds. “but you know, the convenience stores are still open.” you spoke, as she let out an agreeing “oohh..” followed by a nod. “lets head there then? hope you dont mind the walk though..” she smiled. “as long as im with you, i wouldnt mind at all!” you grinned.

after a short 12 minutes of walking and talking, you guys finally arrived at the convenience store while still holding hands. minji was the first to step in as you came in right after, greeting the staff that stood at the register.

“so, yn..i have, uh,, something to tell you.” minji explained as you two walked out of the convenience store. you and minji spent a decent amount of time in there, talking while having snacks. you two had a great time, and she even paid for everything.. and when you thought you couldnt crush on her more than before.

“oh,” you gulped, suddenly nervous and sweat was trickling down your forehead as you nodded, “i have.. something to tell to you.. as well?” you questioned—yourself. she took a deep breath before continuing, “lets say it at the same time?

“yeah. same time.. same time,” you breathed.

“on 1, okay?”

“3 - 2 - 1–”

“i like you, yn!”

“i like you!”

“wait, what?” you awkwardly giggled, raising an eyebrow at minji. she had her head turned, obviously away from you. her face was bright red…and so was yours.

“..y—youre for real?” minji muttered, not daring to make eye contact. she was looking everywhere but your direction. “what do you think, idiot?” you joked.

“so,, were dating now, right?”

“yeah.. yeah!”

“ill walk you home then?”

“thats absurd, kim minji! spend more time with your new girlfriend, will you?”

“g-girlfriend.. right! yes, okay.”

a/n : 😁😁 send in asks interact with me maybe! ill be answering asks later

[i-smoke-chapstick]

‘WILDFLOWER AND BARLEY,

-GOTHAM!EDWARD NYGMA X READER-

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; Sometimes you don’t think you deserve him….other times, you think it’s for the best that you stay.

⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!riddler x female reader. SMUT AND ANGST!! reader is toxic, but eddie is too, so its ok. eddy being vanilla but also strangely dominant. guys this fic is FILTHY. also,, part 3 to gotham characters eating you out. takes place with like season 2 eddy, post kringle. Did i write a fic inspired by a Hozier song that isn’t even released yet? yes. readers taking advantage of eddy. but also, eddy is more than willing to give. kind of a character study. im so sorry if i made reader too mean ive had this idea for a week😭

fic requested by @clementine-writes-things <3

♫ “My coffee black in my bed at 3 / You’re too sweet for me. You’re too sweet for me.” Wildflower and Barley by Hozier

You’d fucked up, majorly.

God, what were you thinking?

Edward Nygma, the quirky forensics guy. The loon, as your fellow officers eloquently put it. And you didn’t necessarily disagree. He was certainly a peculiar fellow. He had always a thing for…what was her name? Kristen Kringle. That was it. You’d been working with him for years, watching him moon after her. You could…understand the appeal, you guessed. She had a sexy sixties librarian type of thing going for her. She kept to herself. Maybe you should’ve done the same. She’d dissapeared a few weeks ago.

You somehow landed yourself in the bed of Edward Nygma. You’d been hooking up…For the past two weeks in a row. No judgement, yeah?

It started as a joke. You and the other officers, chatting with beers and obnoxious comments towards the other tools in the GCPD. Jim Gordon…Harvey Bullock. The way the men couldn’t seem to keep their mouthes shut, especially Jim.

Well, you’d gotten plenty tipsy, staying after work. You pummled those beers back like it was your last night alive. And hell, living in gotham? As an officer? It very well could be.

They were all drunk and laughing out of their minds. Anything anyone said seemed overly funny. Especially when one of your fellow cops brought up the name, “Nygma” like the name was it’s own disease.

“You think Y/N could sleep with him?”

“Yeah, Y/N, go fuck the loon. I wonder what it’s like.”

“You think he says riddles when hes cumming?”

“Whats long, hard, and has ‘cum’ in the middle?”

The numerous voices of your “friends” rung out, and in the moment, drunk out if your mind, you too thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

“I could do it.” You affirmed, alcohol giving you the liquid courage you wouldn’t typically have. After the “oooooo”ing from some of your coworkers, you decided, fuck it. Edward was tall, had nice cheekbones, and was smart. You could do worse than a one night stand.

So you confidently marched into that forensics room, high on the dare the other cops had given you.

You found him, looking into one of the forensics mirrors. He was muttering to himself and you snorted. Weirdo. Oh well.

He pushed up his glasses when you two made eye contact. He was sweating, for some reason, in that lanky labcoat and rubber-gloved hands. He stood up straight and went rigid when he saw you.

“Ms. L/N-“ He was about to question, when you rammed your lips onto his. You remember it like yesterday- how hesitant he was. The way he parted for air, breathing wildly at you. He kept trying to ask questions the whole time you were eagerly undressing him. But he didn’t seem to mind your fowardness.

Well, just your luck, that one night stand was the best fuck of your life. The way his cock fitted perfectly into your body, like it was made for your cunt alone. You two fucked on the forensics cabinets, your coworkers in the next room over, and it was exhilarating. Especially when the usually reserved Ed got unusually rough, pulling your hair and smacking your ass just right.

By the time you two were done…you were fucked out of your mind. Pleasantly surprised.

Since then, you hadn’t been able to get away. You told the cops it was vanilla, and reveled in their dismay. But…you came back for seconds. And then thirds. And then fourths. And then you couldn’t remember the last time you woke up in your own bed.

And just as if you were Kristen…he started following you. Your coworkers snickered. You’d see homemade cupcakes left on your desk. You’d catch him staring at you from the other side of the precint. You writhed under his gaze. For a man with not much expirence, he was obnoxiously good at sex. And he was even more obnoxiously good at not understanding the meaning of coworkers with benefits, and not a relationship.

But…mornings like these? You can’t complain.

Taking yourself back to the present, you awoke in his bed. The sunlight of the open windows bled through your eyelids, and you felt yourself smack your lips. You blinked yourself awake, same as you always did. You shifted underneath the covers, which had been neatly adjusted over you. It was infuriatingly comfortable. You let a yawn escape your lips.

“Ah, good! You’re awake!” You heard his voice chime, far off in the kitchen. You looked up, seeing his tall frame. He stared at you adoringly, and you felt your heart pang.

He carried a tray of coffee and breakfast. You sat up. It was the usual morning routine. He made the most exquisite breakfasts for you.

“A necessity to some, a treasure to many. I’m best enjoyed among pleasant company. Some like me hot, some like me cold. Some prefer me mild, others prefer me bold. What am I?” He spoke the riddle quickly.

You blinked at him, tired. You shrugged nonchalantly.

He made his way over to you, swiftly and delicatley placing the tray in your lap.

“Coffee.” He looked a bit dissapointed at your lack of answer, but brightened back up instantly. “Almost black, not quite. 1 Sugar. No cream. Just how you like it.” He noted, and it was in this moment, you felt the weight of your actions. He’d memorized everything about you. Whatever records you liked, he’d play softly. He’d learned your favorite flavor cupcake, and how you took your coffee. Gods, he’d even bought the brand of toothpaste you had at your house, so it was familiar brushing your teeth in the morning.

You squinted, adjusting yourself to the sunlight of the room. Golden. You felt the weight of the tray, and met his gaze. God, it was intense. The way his big, puppy dog like eyes harrowed in on you. Like you were the world.

He was practically wagging his tail, watching you take a slow sip of coffee. He wanted praise, as though perfected it, finally.

He was too sweet for you. You didn’t deserve any of this. But selfishly…you couldn’t resist.

You gave him a small nod in approval, letting the liquid glide down your throat. Damn it, The coffee was perfect.

He positioned himself next to you on the bed, sitting, legs crossed. He looked at you almost creepily, eyes never leaving as you finished your breakfast and coffee. You didn’t say a word to him, but you did listen to him ramble quite a bit. Every now and then he’d ask a casual question, and you’d stay silent, or give him a one worded answer. You’d see his smile falter, but he’d continue.

When you were done, he’d grab the tray from your hands. You let him do the work for you. You liked his bed. He came back, eyes big and bright. He sat once more, looking at you expectantly. You furrowed your brows.

“…What?”

He shrugged, giving a slightly nervous, manic giggle. You cringed a bit, but faltered when you felt his fingertips glide across your thigh.

Oh. Thats what.

“…We have work in an hour.” You replied. The mantra played in your head. You don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve him. You felt guilty.

“I’ll be quick.” He affirmed, peeling the covers back. Oh, fuck it. Who were you to deny him?

He didn’t lie, he was fast. The covers exposed your skin, still undressed from the previous night. You felt the cool air on your thighs and pussy, and couldn’t help it. You caved.

In an instant, he was worshipping your legs, working his way up. He kept eye contact with you, laying gentle bites and pecks into the plush of your skin.

He kissed his way up, tonguing the bite marks he left in his wake. You shivered when his lips hovered over your pussy. He wasted no time. No, he didn’t tease you, he needed to please you as quickly as he could. It was a need for him.

His tongue came into contact with your pussy lips, and you shivered. Instinctivley, you threaded your hands through his morning messy hair, and shoved his face into you. He reciprocated instantly, wanting nothing more than to make you feel good. He licked up and down, tongue flicking gently on your cute little pearl of a clit.

He circles it and taps it with his tongue, saliva dripping and mixing with your juices. His movements are quick and calculated, and he indulges you, body and soul. He hums in pleasure when you arch your back up into him uncontrollably. It’s almost uncharacteristic- the way he switches from being so soft and gentle, to practically making out with your pussy. You feel his fingers dig into your thighs, like he’s a whole different person when he’s mouth fucking you.

Your moaning and shaking, saying his name over and over. Somehow, your getting off to this. To the idea you don’t deserve him. That he’s such a nicer, better, smarter person than you. And although he doesn’t vocalize it, you wonder if he strangely shares the sentiment.

It’s almost like he knows. Like he’s self-aware- of all your selfish thoughts. Like this, him eating you out, him on his knees for you, making you breakfast in bed- is some sort of revenge.

He knows what he’s doing. He’s making you feel awful, guilty for your mistreatment of him- by giving you more and more of him. And you find yourself cumming in his mouth at the thought.

He greedily laps at your swollen clit, overstimulating you. You let out a loud yelp, and he keeps going, only for a few more seconds.

It’s weird. He’s weird. But as you sober up from your orgasm, shaking underneath him, you brush those strange thoughts from your head.

You look into his gentle eyes again, watching him ramble off apologies. You two will most definitely be late to work. You scold yourself. Why would you think such an odd thing? No, he’s a complete sweetheart. Not a degrading bone in his body. You think.

Yet…you still feel the bruises forming on your thighs. And the burning guilt of using him.

You left his aparment in a hurry, driving yourself insane. You seem to convice yourself it was a weird orgasm thought, maybe you’re more kinky than you thought; for some pseudo pyschological self degradtion.

You go to the precint, just as you do every other day. The work is effectively still just as boring and your peers are still just as insufferable.

You’re given a few files by some mysoginistic cop you haven’t aquainted yourself with, who obviously assumed you were the new record keeper. You snort, but decide to take it. You browse over the files, snooping. They are forensic files, and your heart drops. Ah. You’ll have to give these to him.

You enter the forensic room without knocking- at least, you’re about to. But you hear him mumbling to himself, and decide to listen in for a moment. Curiosity getting the best of you.

“You’re too good to her.” You hear him argue with…himself? “You need to show her whose in charge.”

“I am!” He retaliates to his own voice.

“By making her coffee?” He snarls, and your brows furrow. He smashes a file cabinet closed loudly. You jump.

“Yes!” Ed’s voice growls out, fed up. “If you were smart enough to understand-“ He begins, and you’ve heard enough. You enter the room.

Ed looks at you bewildered, and you look at the same. He’s sweating, and his hair is in dissaray. You two make eyecontact and you grimace. What the hell?

You hardly register what he was actually saying, and more that he was having a seemingly very heated conversation with himself. You watch him fumble with his glasses.

“…Ed?” You question, and he snaps.

“What are you doing here?” His voice is quick and sharp. Thats uncharacteristic. You wince.

“Uh, files.” You nod to the papers in your hands, and he blinks, standing up straight. He clears his throat.

“Right.” He recovers, quickly. You narrow your eyes at him, and hum, giving them to him. He’s about to speak, but you rush yourself out of the room, heart pounding.

He is weird. He is a freak. You chime. Your coworkers have been right.

Any shred of pity you had for him has dwindled significantly, and you mull it over in your mind.

Maybe you do deserve eachother, You think. You’re the best he’s going to get.

[piastri-lover]

who would have guessed; alex albon

summary: in which you and alex are dropping hints about your relationship, and yet no one seems to be getting the hint

pairing: alex albon x celeb!reader

author's note: i fucking love alex albon and this prompt!! icl i dont know he's so underrated but i enjoyed making this sm xx

INSTAGRAM

yourusername 📍tulum, mexico

liked by pierregasly, zendaya and 17293057 yourusername summer time x view comments

-

user1 i love y/n so fucking much

user2 wife

user3 are u kidding i was lit in mexico two days ago and NOW the queen is here -user4 lit flew out this morning i could have met my wife

zendaya having fun? ;)) -yourusername don't know what u mean by that --zendaya ill keep my mouth shut

user5 after 3 months of oppenheimer filming y/n prob needs a break -user6 she slayed as jean though --user5 100%

user7 mexico is my country and i'm so glad u love it liked by yourusername -user7 omg y/n liked my comment im done

user8 whos she with -user9 idk but someone def took that 3rd photo

user10 why is pierre in the queen y/n's likes?? -user11 i bet he forgot to switch accounts and liked without thinking --user12 ariana what are u doing here

~~~

TWITTER

~~~

~~~

INSTAGRAM

yourusername 📍tulum, mexico

liked by sydney_sweeney, landonorris and 32017295 others yourusername thank u for the restuarant reccomendation, we loved it xx view comments

-

user13 mother is mothering

user14 she's so fit -user15 that scene in oppenheimer changed me as a person

user16 THERES A BOY -user17 omg omg omg this is not a drill

sydney_sweeney y/n... -yourusername ill call u later and fill u in babe

user18 first pierre, now lando -user19 the entire grid is simping for y/n and tbh i don't blame them

user20 the soft launch is beginning -user21 im so ready to analyse every screenshot to try and work this out first

user22 i need that dress

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

alex_albon replied to your story:

alex_albon ur fans are going wild on twt rn

yourusername really?? i haven't checked

alex_albon mhmm like they havent stopped speculating for hours im sure i saw someone ship u with fucking lando

yourusername he is kinda cute...

alex_albon oy

yourusername im kidding we still going out for dinner tonight??

alex_albon yup its me and you, george and carmen and lando lol

yourusername all good

alex_albon pick u up at 8?

yourusername counting down the minutes baby love u x

alex_albon love u more x

~~~

landonorris

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 4103549 others landonorris my fave couples (im so alone) view comments

-

user23 umm

user24 lando babe i dont feel like u were supposed to post this

georgerussell63 he's passed out and i dont know his password idk what to do -user25 george are y/n and alex dating??? --georgerussell63 no lando was just feeling a bit silly

user26 george trying to defend alex and y/n when we obv know they're dating

alex_albon i let him take one photo and ofc he does this -yourusername at least we look cute --alex_albon we always look cute baby

user27 i wasnt sure about alex but look they're so wholesome

user28 im j wondering how tf alexander albon pulled the y/n -user29 me too --user30 like nothing against him but y/n is... well y/n

landonorris wait i thought this was my private

landonorris so so sorry -yourusername ur buying me a drink when we next go out --landonorris done and done ---alex_albon my girl has expensive taste lando u have completely shot urself in the foot

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

tagged: alex_albon liked by zendaya, pierregasly and 51294856 othersyourusername lando ruined my softlaunch(🖕🖕) but anyway i kinda love him so be nice xx view comments

-

user31 no bc theyre acc cute

user32 i hate to have to share my wife but it would be with him

landonorris ive apologised 1000 times idk what more to do -alex_albon she had the entire thing all planned out but no lando norris had to intervene --yourusername honestly im heartbroken i might need another bottle of champagne... ---landonorris fuck off y/n the last bottle was like £1000

alex_albon leng -yourusername appreciate it bro

alex_albon the last photo❤️❤️❤️-yourusername love u big man

user33 omg i hope we get to see her at a grand prix soon -yourusername im def coming to spa and we'll see after that

williamsracing already saving a seat for u -yourusername i cant wait xx

user34 dont know whether i want to be alex or her

user35 bi awakening -user36 fr

user37 sleeping on the highway tonight -landonorris ill be joining u --user38 landos so real for that

[miranyx1337]

Alastor x Angel reader

FEATHER chapter IV

Tags: fluff (for now ) enemies to lovers, kissing, being protective, cuddles, sleeping problems, flirting, possesive reader is an angel, fem reader

As a young angel, I perceived love as something exceptionally beautiful. I believed that everyone deserves to meet their soulmate and it’s waiting for me too. With the passing decades, my enthusiasm waned. More failed relationships, disappointments. My mother said, 'That's because God has someone special for me. I sought blame in others, later in myself, and my frustration grew. I became bitter, jealous of others happiness, and desperate to kill the feeling of emptiness.

Until I gave up. I accepted loneliness, tried to love myself anew, and embraced the surrounding reality—the "Paradise" from which there was no escape. Hello?! We are in heaven; everyone is happily in love with their loved ones and families.

I found my peace but never stopped wondering if God, in the grand miracle of creation, had perhaps forgotten about my kindred soul.

Unexpectedly, the delicate lips of a sinner, a demon, brushed against mine.

Alastor stepped back, reopening my old wounds. I should only blame myself for playing with fire. When I learned that the radio demon's weakness was closeness and affection I thought getting rid of him and his quirks would be easy.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, he kissed them away, as if they were a cure for the dying.

Soon, I found myself in his arms. There was something in his touch, as if he held an incredibly precious thing, and I surrendered. Even if it's only for tonight.

Jazz music flowed from the demon's enchanted radio

"When I was a child, my mother always told me a bedtime story," Alastor said, adopting a dreamy expression. "Do you maybe like criminals, sweetheart?

It's not a very popular genre in heaven, but I guess hell has plenty of bestsellers." I replied with laughter

His grin expanded.

"Oh, let me tell you a classic. It started in high school, a young man from disgustingly rich family, didn't spare injured birds, lost dogs, and worse, cats roaming on their own paths."

Hearing about young Alastor's first murders gave me shivers and curiosity at the same time. I wanted to know every detail, every motive. To understand what hides behind that smile and piercing gaze

Alastor's POV:

She fell asleep unusually quickly. I wish I could lock her away like a feather in the radio tower, but this time I opted to carry her to bed

I sat beside her and observed with. I could never comprehend addictions until I tried angelic energy. my magic felt to return with every sip from her essence. With clawed hands, I combed through strands of her silvery-white Hair

The memory of her hands tightening on my coat. The sweet-salty taste of tears, though my lips wanted to return to another place. Fuck, I'm really on the edge of madness.

.

.

.

Pixelated smile widened on TV with complete satisfaction.

"The regret will come sooner than you think."

Sorry this chapter is much shorter but i had exams this days. I hope you enjoyed it and are ready for more.

the story is just about to start ☺️✨🔥

[brogatory]

Dear Mr Strider ,

Im very sorry to hear of your [nessasary] yet unfortunate death! And im sorry your struggling to adjust to the afterlife. Ive heard dream bubbles can be tricky, especially for the uninitiated.

If you happen to be taking questions, I have a few. Only if your up for them of course. I understand death is stressful.

I was wondering if you ever reached any aspects of the game while you were alive? The medium, your own potential powers? Or if you ever felt any special connection to time, like your Beta counterpart.

Speaking of which, have you ever met any other daves?

Also, this may be presumptuous of me, but maybe try speaking to Beta!Dirk about my little pony? I remember it was something Alpha!Dirk enjoyed. Hopefully you could forge mild tolerance of eachother with this?

Anyway I apologize for speaking so long, curiosity tends to get the better of me!

Best wishes,

ChthonianConversationalist

Damn lemme try my best to answer these

[You should read the tags.]

Dear Mr Strider , Im very sorry to hear of your [nessasary] yet unfortunate death! And im sorry your struggling to adjust to the afterlife. Ive heard dream bubbles can be tricky, especially for the uninitiated. If you happen to be taking questions, I have a few. Only if your up for them of course. I understand death is stressful.

Oh god youre adorable

I dont know what dreambubbles are but thanks; death has been... okay so far. I actually really appreciate yalls questions; gives me somethin to fuckin do round here even if youre all nosy lil bird bastards

I was wondering if you ever reached any aspects of the game while you were alive? The medium, your own potential powers? Or if you ever felt any special connection to time, like your Beta counterpart. Speaking of which, have you ever met any other daves?

Ive never met another dave nah. Unfortunately (Lord knows id dote on the lil guy)

As for... powers... Idk much about the medium

I know mostly what Ro could tell me

Growing up I always knew the exact time, i guess; Down to the second, yknow? Pissed my foster families off something fierce; could never fuckin answer "What time is it?" or "How long?" without being a smartass about it. Literally could not help it.

And...

Well...

[You see him pause.]

I guess i can talk about it... It's hella long though

I used to be able to rewind time. Not very far. When i was little i could only go a few minutes

But i got better at it once i realized what i could do cause i started trying

I could go back a day by 18. Or two, if i tried hard enough (and was fine with bleeding for a while from wherever the universe decided i should bleed from)

But...

I lived to be 37

For a lot of those years i held a lot of bottled up shit close to my heart n that translated to using my powers irresponsibly for even the smallest shit

Theres a reason i think this is a punishment

I don't like talking about it

...

Anyway

Rose actually found me that way; me reversin time all the time gave her wicked headaches from all the way on the east coast, so she meandered her rich goth ass over to Texas

Unfortunately it didnt stop me from usin my powers; she just got used to it, cause bein close to me made it less painful for her

Coincidentally every time she got a vision Id go fuckin blind and it lessened when she was nearby (Actually straight up ruined my vision; My shades are prescription lenses put into the Stiller Frames)

Kinda like when you get up too fast yk

I also get feelings when things happen in other timelines that feel important; Think thats the role of "Guardian" in me plus the time shit; Like i felt that big ol green bastard start existing, felt the fuckin Green Sun start existing

But lemme tell you feelin The Scratch happen was wild cause it already happened to make my dumb ass exist

But it was currently happening and also has not happened yet right now

Makes my head hurt thinkin about it

Also, this may be presumptuous of me, but maybe try speaking to Beta!Dirk about my little pony? I remember it was something Alpha!Dirk enjoyed. Hopefully you could forge mild tolerance of eachother with this?

[=>]

[itsgrimeytime]

The Nurse (Part Ten) || Rick Grimes (TWD)

Part: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten...

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Taglist: @strnqer @1985bitch @curlycarley @imaginemyfavoritefics @t-uroboros @crazytxgradstudent @addisonnie @whos6claire @taylvvrr @quicksilversg1rl @catt-leya @1tsk1tty @pascalshearts @hopefulatrocity @xoyouronlyamorrxo @fuseburner @idkseraphine @all-for-kpop @carlgrimeskisser @emo-potato-virgil @timotheesrealgf @mcuclintasha @8crazy-freak8 @peepeepoopoobutt @crazyunsexycool @moneyoverl0v3 @alixxhere @allthetroubleiveseen @dxrkymxrchy

Summary: Before all this, you were a nurse. A nurse who had patients, one of which was a man in a coma. A sheriff, you think, it was all kinda fuzzy now. When it all went sideways, you set up what you could for the man - but had to leave. You’d always wondered where he’d ended up; until in your search of shelter, you run into a familiar face.

TWS: Blood, gore, angst, mentions of death, gun violence (just violence in general), gunshot wounds, swearing, coma mention, and all things typical of TWD.

[[A/N: This gif is was SOOOO hard to find. But the vibes properly address this newest part. Sorry for the cliffhanger, but it was necessary. Hopefully, this will make it better :) Thanks for reading !!!]]

"I win!" Carl grinned, crossing through the x's on the grid with a sort of satisfaction -a brightness in the otherwise dim room, curtains drawn and machines beeping.

You hummed, peering over the paper with an exaggeratively questioning brow, "Did you, really? Let me see-"

"Fair and square," he spoke -defensive and puffing up his chest ever so slightly.

Handing the paper to you, your eyes slinked over the grid -tucking your pen back into the scrub pocket with a soft smile, "Hmm, I guess you did! Fair and square."

Carl smiled to himself, running off to Shane -who stood by the door, eyes laid heavy on the hospital bed. He was eagerly pointing, and nearly jumping up and down -Shane with ease knelt down to get a good look at what he wanted to show him.

"You-" Lori spoke, suddenly at your side -her mouth hidden behind her hand, "-You'd tell me, if it wasn't good, right?"

You took a glance at the IV, making the note to replace it soon, before turning to the woman -lowering your voice, "Of course, Mrs. Grimes. It's just. It's too early for any news at all."

"And the-" she started, swallowed, as her voice echoed shakily, "-the fluttering behind the eyes?"

"It's something pretty run of the mill," you answered -regretfully, "-patients in a comatose state can have some instinctual movements, muscle spasms, it's not... It's not conclusive."

"Right," she echoed -exhaling a sort of shaky breath out of her lungs, "-I guess I just- I don't know what to do. What... What would you do?"

"Ma'am-"

"Please," she voiced -tone thick but intentional, "-call me Lori."

"Lori," you corrected -heavy and trying to guide her, "-I can't make that decision for you. But-"

You turned her attention to her son, as he seemed to be recounting the game of tic-tac-toe to Shane -all happy, bright, hopeful energy, "-It's too early to let him lose what he has."

"Hope," she answered -a little desolate in tone, and you could tell she'd already lost it but Carl... Carl hadn't.

"And," you added with a bit of a laugh, "-if Rick's as stubborn as you say, I'm sure he wouldn't go down without fighting."

Lori smiled, hand tender on his -fingertips rubbing at the ring that stayed there, "He wouldn't."

"So, hold on for him," you echoed, placing a single hand on her shoulder, "-okay?"

That evening, when the visiting hours closed, you checked up his room -quickly switching out his IV and running through his vitals. You don't remember when it had started, but you'd begun talking to him -maybe it was because of Carl, the bright boy that was so sad. You weren't sure.

Flipping through his clipboard, you spoke, "Looking good, Grimes. Let's keep you breathing today, hmm?"

Roaming closer, you watched the beating of his heart -steady and consistent. Noting that you moved over to another monitor -one with his brain activity. It was a bit of a confusing sight to anyone who couldn't read it, but there was a spike -good. Never dipping.

"Dreaming well?" you smiled, scooting back and taking him in -laid completely motionless, and the flowers by his bedside still vibrant. It was always a sight that twisted your heart, even after the times you'd seen it before.

Something so desperate about the dark room and the beeping machines -lights a mere flicker. It was lonely, most of all, and part of you wished he'd had warm dreams. Cliche meadows, smiling, and family memories-

"Rick," you echoed, sitting into a chair -the one right next to him, "-I just want you to know that you have a wonderful family waiting for you here. But I-"

His chest moved in a rhythm, up and down.

"-I don't know how long they can wait."

Part of you wished to see anything different upon his face, anything, but there was nothing. He was still the same, curls tenderly brushed to the back of his head, and ring glimmering in the lights of the monitors.

"So," you cleared your throat -wiping at your eyes (this job never got any easier), "-just try and wake up soon, yeah? For them."

There was a whiteness that took over your mind then, bright beyond belief, and a sting flushing over your skin, hurt -dousing it in what felt like ice-cold water. Like you'd fallen to the ground, the concrete ground-

"Hey, hey-" there was a voice, one you recognized, brown eyes and long hair -Daryl, "-ya with me?"

There was a searing pain in your shoulder (the right one -your mind meekly noted) so overwhelming that it felt like your mouth couldn't work. It was like the sting of a million bees, nerve endings firing off -you couldn't see straight.

"I-" you tried, but it broke off -curling into some sort of slurred speech as it peaked in pain. Was this what it felt like to die?

Something in your brain was firing, as you tried to gather your words -fighting against the instinct, blinking back tears, "He... missed...?"

It was all breathy, and slurred, but you saw them pass over an understanding on his face -still somehow able to understand, "Yea, just- just hit y'er shoulder."

"Fuck," you echoed, flinching as the words seethed through your teeth, "-does not feel like just my... shoulder-"

Daryl merely looked over you, hands lifted and suddenly so bloody -it made your head spin. You were used to it, but not to yourself. You weren't usually the patient, not like this-

"I don't see anythin' else-"

"O-Okay," you swallowed back a groan, maybe even a scream, "-can you just put-"

Without a warning, his hands came to your shoulder -pushing (stopping the blood, something in your head remarked). You bit your lip so harshly that you tasted iron, "Shit, maybe warn me next time-"

"'Sorry," he retorted, fairly bland -but you could see the panic in his eyes.

You laughed, even though it hurt -each exhale met with a harsh inhale, "No you're not."

Daryl let out the smallest of smiles, and you counted it somewhat as a win. Even then, until your ears focused in, honed in on an extra voice.

"Shoot me, sheriff-" he echoed -grating on your ears, "-shoot me."

"What's-" you started -breaths heavy and eyes woozy, "-where's Rick? What's happening-"

"Breathe-" Daryl echoed, tone gruff and straightforward, "-you can't move like 'at."

"What's..." you took a deep breath in -quick and rushed, "-what's happening? Daryl, tell me-"

The world was getting spotty, white splotches smeared in your vision -it seemed so easy to sleep then, to rest your eyes. But your heart was racing against your chest, heavy beats echoing even larger than life, was he okay-

It wasn't worth it, if he was hurt -had he been shot? You couldn't stand it-

"Hey, hey, sweetheart-" a new face detailed in your face, blue eyes -you inhaled a gasp, "-I'm here, I'm here."

"Are you-" you spoke through ragged breaths, "-are you... okay? Are you hurt-"

Rick sighed -tears were in his eyes, you could see them, "I'm fine. 'Should be worryin' 'bout yourself."

You inhaled -a shaky sort of breath, as Daryl's hands stayed pressured -the sear of the pain so stinging that your head spun. But you stayed, trying desperately to stay present, to stay with him.

Distantly, you felt this might be it. You didn't want to miss him now -not now.

"Bandage," you spoke, through the heavy breaths -labored, working so hard to merely speak, "-somethin', something to wrap it with. Bleeding... stop the bleeding-"

"I kno'," he responded, quick as his hands moved to the ends of his shirt, "-I kno'. Just stay with me, 'kay? Keep y'er eyes on me."

He was rushing, a distant rip echoing through your head -he was using his shirt, you guessed. You merely followed the movement, eyes languid on his face -memorizing the push of his brow, the pull of his mouth. Despite the pain, something so wonderful about him being there -right in front of you.

"I missed you," you spoke -slurred and oh-so tired. But it felt necessary, built up deep in your chest -wonderous feeling busting at the center of your ribs.

Rick, who was busy with the fabric of his shirt, turned his eyes to you -blue eyes set upon you like you were the only thing in the world, "-I missed ya too, darlin'. Let me help you for once, 'kay?"

He mumbled something to Daryl, replacing the pressure with the tight wrapped fabric -your breath hissed out, flinching ever so lightly at the shift in feeling. Rick flicked to you for a second, eyes doused in a sort of deep concern -gently smoothing over your skin.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. 's gonna hurt-"

"I kno'," you spoke, muffled and murmured. You were so tired.

"Hey, hey-" he started, tiltin to meet your eyes -hand soft against your skin, guiding, "-stay with me."

"Rick," you hummed -pain a mere deafened noise in the back of your head, "-just so tired. I'm tryin'-"

"I kno', I kno', sweetheart," he echoed, a beautiful sort of thrum against your skin, "-just a lil' longer. Why don't you tell me somethin', anythin'-"

"I remember you, in the-" you interrupted, tone limp but still there, "-in the hospital. I used to talk to you then-"

"Did ya?" Rick responded, moving around and you could feel it. It all blurred to the background, "-what about?"

"Depends," your eyes scattered along his face, "-sometimes told you to wake up, and other times just complainin' 'bout somebody. There used to be- There used to be this lady, came in everyday. I'm so sure she hated me-"

"Really, you?" he hummed, "-Imma pick ya up, okay? Get you where you can get some help-"

"Tried to complain that I was flirtin' with 'er husband," you murmured -the shake of your head as he gathered you up, pulling you close to his chest, "-was jus' bein' nice."

"Were you? Flirtin'?"

"No," you stressed, a little defensively, head leaning against his chest -the deep thrum of his heart rumbling against your skin, "-no, you kno' that."

"I do," he echoed -tone fond and it sent something warm down your spine, "-don't I."

And maybe your head was a little woozy, but you couldn't hold it back then -all slurred words and white splotches in your vision. The thrum of his heart beating you a lullaby, your eyes found themselves is a bleary haze.

"I love you, you know 'at."

And maybe he said something in response, you felt the rumble in his chest. But you... you hadn't felt safe enough to sleep in awhile, and gathered up in his arms -a familiar woodsy smell surrounding you, you had. It was like a bubble there, all cooped up with the pain a distant thrash, and somewhere deep in your head, you knew he'd keep you safe.

With that final thought, your eyes drifted shut.

[cider-est]

The full lineup is almost done!! (just needs some touch ups and a Chunsik design👍) FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APRECIATED!!

Design process under here (whole lot of yapping)

General thoughts: Ive given them in my previous design sheet (you can find it in my blog)(tldr: designs match characters but still childish, 8-12 years old). Only thing different here, is that these eggs were eggs who I had less of a clear idea of what I wanted to do with them (though I still really liked where I ended up!!)

Empanada: Didnt want to go for the full sweet lolita route, mostly because I thought it'd take away the "little kidness" of it all, but something that still resembles the aesthetic. She's wearing "carneirinhos" (idk the name in english) which is very cute little girl to me, and shes also a demon! Her tail resembles a frying pan!! Though I might change her fringe (it was supposed to be baby hairs but now that I think about it, her type of hair probably wouldnt have them) and put some argyle pattern in her sweater vest. I just forgor💀 to do that...I also wish I had made her shorter, but unfortunetely I drew this before the eggs did the height check (YES ITS BEEN THAT LONG).

Sunny: My beautiful baby girl. She means the world to me. I love this minecraft egg with all my heart. Shes wearing Light up sketchers and some fairy wings like Pomme, and shes actually wearing a swimsuit, she just put a tutu over it. The diamonds they're always holding are rings, they have a "terere" in their hair (idk name in english😭😭) and the beads were inspired by an artist on twt (@\BLUETOMATOSODA). Also if you are wondering why her hair looks like tentacles, its because I had originally made it puffy, but changed my mind after doing the lineart, so i had to get creative with me covering it up. Just pretend she has a fan, shes a star after all!

Pepito: Basically, he is very smoll. Chiquito even. He has strawberry hair and MASSIVE glasses that take up his entire face. Hes wearing a swimsuit aswell (dont ask how it works idk either), and has floaties since he cant swim. Hes got crocs, since flip flops hurt his toes, with a spider man charm on them! Also hes got a sunhat, mostly cause I wanted some other accessorie but didnt want to go with gas mask since it'd kinda kill the whole swimming vibe (since his model is wearing a swimsuit). sorry if its not too accurate to his character. Side note: Him, Em and Sunny all have freckles! Him and Sunny all over their bodies while Em just has on her cheeks.

Leo: Cute sporty vibe, love her shorty spiky hair. Wanted to try to make her face spiky aswell, for the whole shark dad thing. Shes got a necklace with a shark tooth (I guess she got it from Foolish??). He changes tshirts randomly, and opens and closes his attack on titan hoodie depending on the tshirt's expression (basically my version of Leo changing her player heads constantly). His trainers have dragon wings and also: whealies!!

Dapper: Im gonna be honest: did not expect to like his design THIS much. The colouring really elevated, with the long blue hair (the same colour as the ghosties!). Wanted to make them, y'know, dapper, so I had to sacrifice some of the "little kid vibes" unfortunetely, but I think it fits her still. The hat has part of the helmet that they used to wear a lot, demon horn to match Pomme, and a suit that is VERY inspired by Death the Kid from Soul Eater (very fitting for a reaper in training imo). Might be my favourite design!

Ramon: Jesus fuck you'd think designing your fav egg would be easy BUT NO. I struggled long and hard. Again, he doesnt have that much "little kid" vibe whatever man😭😭 Im just happy that I even managed to make SOMETHING. Hes got Create googles, his meathead is a massive hat that completely hides his hair. Very simple, very Ramon, though I will probably end up making a version with an ugly sweater just like he likes instead😔. I still like it but. man...

ANYWAYS IF YOU READ ALL THAT MWAH, YOURE A REAL ONE, THANKS FOR ENTERTAINING MY THOUGHTS🫶🫶🫶

[veemunson86]

I see you everywhere

Pt 3, love of my life.

Series masterlist

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

it was Steve's idea, to write a letter to Eddie and burn it. you thought it was cheesy but decided to give it a shot. the heavy weight your heart felt for him ached more and more every day which was causing unwanted stress. going  into the 8th month of your pregnancy began to become unbarable without him. all you wanted was to feel him holding you late at night, but he couldn't, and that alone was a crushing feeling. at first you thought it was a horrible idea, but when you were missing him extra one day, you finally found the right words.

" my dearest eddie, today marks almost 8 months since you left me. it still hasn't gotten any easier. everyone says it gets better, but when? i miss you like crazy. i still wear your ring, but its too big for my hand so i have it on a chain i swear around my neck. i wonder what our wedding would have been like. i wonder how you would have raised our beautiful baby girl, would you have played her music to help her sleep? everywhere i go, its like you're here with me. i see you everywhere around the house that would have been ours. i wake up to what would have been the side of your bed, and its like sometimes i envision youre laying next to me... your hair a big frizzy mess. i find myself doing that a lot, thinking youre here with me, that maybe, just maybe you'll come back to me. but you wont, and that's when i snap back into reality. you're gone. its still hard to say out loud. our baby is growing so fast. she has a strong heartbeat. i remember when i would lay my head  on your chest when we would be on the couch, or laying in bed. it was my favorite thing to listen to. that day when i held you, i felt your heart slowly give out, and a part of mine died with you that day. everyone here says ive changed, and the truth is i have. the y/n i was died when you did, now I'm just the shell of the girl i once was. the shell of a girl who lost the one person she truly loved. but i wanna change, that's why in writing this. i wanna change for our girl. i wanna be the best version of myself i can, for her. it scares my thinking about having to do this alone, but i know I'm not alone. i have the kids, and steve, nancy and robin to help. they go with me to every appointment. i know she is gonna be so loved by them, and that makes me happy. i decided on a name. remember when we talked about a family of our own one day? we wrote down names that we would want for our kids. i found that notebook when i moved your stuff in here. our house. just like we wanted. 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom. big backyard, with a small swimming pool. it wasn't easy, but i had help. my parents and your uncle helped me until i could get up on my feet. i moved your stuff here, part of my thinks youre gonna show up one day. our bedroom is perfect. we both have a nightstand, i have pictures of us together o your side. i know it all sounds stupid, but its comforting. i have a few of your shirts in the closet, they still smell like you. i always loved that smell, like cinnamon and weed. it makes it feel like youre still here. i open up our closet and that's the first thing i smell, it smells like home. like you. i picked our girls name, i decided on Amelia. shes gonna have your last name. i set up her nursery with the help of steve, dustin, and max. her little room is adorable. i have a light pink crib, and above it there is her name smelled out in wooden letters. there is little ducks on the wallpaper, as when i went through my first nesting phase i didnt know the gender yet. there is a fuzzy white rug right by her crib, and a rocking chair so i can feed her in there. i wish you could be here to see it, but alas, youre not. so i guess this is my final goodbye to you. steve said writing this and burning it would give me piece of mind, and i think hes right. so goodbye my love, i will love you forever, please watch over me and our baby. i love you."

and with that, you folded the paper in half, throwing it in the fireplace, watching as it slowly turned to ash.

Tags:

[louellaby]

FORGET-ME-NOT

REPLACED!MC AU

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

W A R N I N G

May contain bad grammar, limited vocabulary, and OOC characters. Please mind that English is not my first language, and it takes a lot of courage for me to post due to my anxiety and paranoia.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

taglist: @books-and-catears @owl778 @yourlocalgrass @kaiserkisser

PROLOGUE | CHAPTER I | CHAPTER II | CHAPTER III | LOUE'S LETTER | CHAPTER IV | CHAPTER V | LOUE'S LETTER | CHAPTER VI | CHAPTER VII | CHAPTER VIII | CHAPTER IX | CHAPTER X | LOUE'S LETTER | EPILOGUE

C H A P T E R V I

「 A Chat Under the Stars 」

A beautiful night sky blessed the grand ball being held at the Demon Lord's Castle. The sky had a darker colour, mixed with purple and blue hues as if it were painted by the most skilled painter. The stars did their best to outshine the beautiful glow of the moon, illuminating the whole realm. It was certainly a wonderful sight to behold.

After the prince's and his butler's welcoming speeches, everyone was left to their own enjoyment. Chatter filled the room as everyone met up with the people they knew. But you? You stayed in place; back against the wall, and an empty glass in hand. It was previously filled with the most exquisite Demonus, but before you knew it, you already chugged it down. Not one drop remaining. You thought you would enjoy the party, maybe even get the chance to talk to your demons again, but somehow Soley was always there to take them away just before they could even notice your presence.

You previously arrived at the castle with three angels and one sorcerer, but they got swept away from you by their adoring crowd. You watched as Solomon laughed along with other sorcerers and witches. Simeon was with Luke, discussing Devildom food with the other angels who were invited, and Cassiel was nowhere on the floor to be found. The more you watched, the more lonely you felt. You already tried hard enough to catch everyone's attention, but enough was enough. To calm your aching head, you stepped outside for a while and into the quiet gardens you ventured. You were hoping to be alone, to do some thinking, but there you found Cassiel, along with Leviathan. They seemed to be in the middle of a conversation, something you didn't mean to listen to.

"I already told you multiple times, Levi. You don't need to act like that around me just because we technically aren't brothers anymore."

"A-Are you sure...? I just th-thought that you would be disappointed with me. I know it was a long time ago, but I... I did fall..."

"... Are you saying all this because you feel guilty falling with your brothers?"

"What? O-Of course not! No matter where they go, I'm always there to follow them!"

"Then stop acting all sad whenever you see me. That's not the look I want to see whenever we meet, you know. No matter what you become, Levi, you'll always be my brother. You and your brothers will always be family to me, and I'm proud of all of you."

"C-C-Cassiel...!"

"Wh-Whoa, hey, don't cry!"

A smile slowly appeared on your face as you watched the Avatar of Envy cling onto the angel in front of him. He sobbed so loudly that you couldn't hear what Cassiel was telling him, but you know that he was trying to comfort the demon. The moonlight illuminated both of them in their embrace. It was a beautiful view. Until Leviathan's D.D.D. rang, and he answered the call immediately upon seeing the ID.

"I-I'll be right there...!" With him only saying that in return, the caller hung up on him. You already had a feeling who it was, and apparently Cassiel did, too.

"Let me guess... the little princess wants you to pick up the toy she purposely dropped?"

"Cassiel... th-that's..."

"I'm sorry, Levi, don't mind me. Go on ahead and help her. I'll be staying here."

"Thanks...! I'll see you again later!"

As soon as Leviathan ran off back inside the castle, Cassiel cleared his throat and turned your way, looking at you straight in the eye. "It's quite rude to eavesdrop, you know." Despite him saying that, he had a gentle smile on his face. "Step into the light with me, MC. You'll be able to feel its warmth."

"Does the moon emit warmth?" You questioned with an innocent twinkle in your eyes, heading towards him and taking his outstretched hand. He was slightly taken aback and chuckled at your question, covering his mouth with the back of his free hand as he looked at you.

"Well, no, I don’t think so. But tonight's special, so it might? Maybe you can stay here with me long enough until we feel it. What do you say?" He was looking at you with gentle eyes. With his question, you felt like he was holding his hand out for you to take even when you were already holding it, so in return, you gave his hand a light squeeze, which he appreciated. The two of you found a place in the garden where the moon shone the brightest. Cassiel pulled out a blanket out of thin air and laid it on the grass before ushering you to sit down next to him.

"How did you do that, Cassiel?"

"Someone I know has always been fond of picnics since he was a child, so I taught myself how to conjure up objects such as this. It's quite handy for such occasions, isn't it?"

"Yeah, that's amazing!"

"Oh, it's hardly that. You're a sorcerer yourself, MC. Surely, something like this is elementary for you."

"I, well, I didn't learn something like that yet... Oh, but I can summon my pact demons whenever I want!"

Cassiel raised his eyebrow at you before slightly nodding to himself. "You mean the seven brothers, right? You must have a lot of power and influence on them to be able to summon them whenever it suits you. I'm glad that it's you who has that power over them and not..." He trailed off, eyes wandering to the lake that rested in front of you both. He watched as the water rippled with every leaf and flower petal that fell onto its surface. You already knew what he was trying to say.

It looked like Cassiel didn't like Soley. Maybe he still didn't get over the girl's first impression on everyone. But your first impression of Cassiel himself wasn't a nice one either.

"To be frank, and I mean no offence to you, Prince Diavolo, but I never wanted to attend this school. A place crawling with demons is not a pretty sight for me, but I have a duty to uphold. It is the very reason for my presence here.

Please do not misunderstand anything."

You laughed at the thought, wondering how Cassiel changed in only a few months. Whenever you saw him at school, talking with demons, he had a smile on his face. It wasn't a forced smile out of politeness, no. It was genuine. He really was enjoying himself.

"You must be wondering what changed me, mustn't you?" As if he could read your mind, Cassiel gazed at you with a slight smirk. His head rested on the back of his hand that lay on his bent knee. Your surprised face made him laugh before he sighed and turned his head back to the water, adjusting his glasses and resting his chin on his hand. "To be honest, I didn't actually change. I was just lying when I said I didn't want to attend this school. In fact, it was me who begged Michael to let me participate as an exchange student for the new school year."

"Then why did you lie on the first meeting?"

"Well, I... I was scared." You felt the angel's hand twitch as he spoke. He chuckled to himself before shaking his head. "But it turns out I had nothing to be afraid of. The brothers still treated me the same way they did before the war, so I thought that I could stop pretending and just be honest with them. I still love them as my family, even when most of the angels don't anymore."

"Did you... Did you wish you fell with them?"

Silence met both of you as the angel wandered in his thoughts. He tried to pick the right words to say, but what exactly were the right words for that question?

Yes, he wished that it was different. He wished to have followed the brothers down into the Devildom, but fear stopped him from taking that first step. And because of that fear, he kept regretting it to this very day.

"That's enough about me," he said with a shaky sigh before fidgeting with his glasses a little and taking you in his sight once again. "Tell me how you've been, MC. I'm sorry I haven't been able to spend time with you at all, but you always seemed so busy with the others."

Was he jealous? But why would he be? You two haven't even exchanged many words until tonight. You averted your gaze and tilted your head up, admiring the shine of the stars out of your reach.

"Have you..." You paused to think, trying to gather your thoughts into clear sentences. "What would you do if... if you don't feel welcome at a certain place anymore? Like, I mean, what if that place was something you love because your, uhm, family was in it?"

Was that too obvious?

As you hoped he wouldn't understand the meaning behind your words— or maybe you did, you kept staring at the night sky, which turned out to be embarrassing to keep your face visible, so instead, you hung your head low. You couldn't see Cassiel's expression, so you didn't know that he actually got your message. He stared at you, wide-eyed as he was surprised. He already saw how close Soley was getting to the brothers. He didn't like it either, but the fact that they were pushing you aside just for her? He was furious. How could they?

In the Celestial Realm, they kept receiving news about how you were making the brothers' lives better; how you were helping them see the light in that deep, dark pit they dug themselves into. So to see you in this state, arms wrapped around your legs and face buried in your knees while you tried to keep yourself from crying; Cassiel was fuming. But because you tried your best to hide your feelings, he felt like he needed to respect that. He knew you didn't deserve any of what the brothers were doing to you, so he said something that he thought might be better than the current treatment you were getting.

"Why don't you leave the Devildom?"

"MC! There you are!"

You just entered the ballroom when someone called out to you. You turned your head to the side and found Soley running your way. When she looked at what you're wearing, she paused for a moment, the clear hatred on her face showed before it disappeared within the blink of an eye. She clearly wasn't good at hiding how she felt. At least not at first.

"Soley? Do you need something?" You asked, your voice pulling her back from her thoughts, and she shook her head in response.

"I'm just looking for Cassiel. Have you seen him?"

You studied the girl's face and movements, barely processing her words as you remembered what you talked to the angel about.

"You don't like Soley, do you? You always seem upset whenever she's in the conversation."

"Ahaha, you're quite perceptive, aren’t you, MC? Well, you're right. I'm not really fond of her even when she's a human. I try my best to avoid seeing her."

"MC?"

"Oh uhh, n-no, sorry. I haven't seen him. He disappeared as soon as the ball began."

Soley looked at you in disbelief as if she knew something that you were clearly hiding. You became curious at what that look meant, but she brushed it aside and went off on her own way. Where to? Right, back to the demon brothers.

You took another glass full of Demonus, hiding yourself in the lounge that Diavolo and Barbatos prepared specially for you just in case you needed it. You plopped yourself on the soft couch and let your shoulders release the tension they built up. You let your mind wander until it reached that very question once more.

"Why don't you leave the Devildom?"

「 LOUE'S LETTER | CHAPTER VII 」

[awingedinsect]

-Flood me like Atlantic-

Chapter 9

Word count: 2k

Warnings: slight past trauma, cursing, the briefest of allusions to SH again, III is mean but he’s getting softer. I swear.

“Are you really okay?”

His eyes peeled off the keyboard, growing instantly unfocused as she opened the door and stared at him. He sat crossed-legged on the bed, the slats of the window shades casting him in stripes.

“What?” His fingers fidgeted with the loops of a big, prominent white bow stuck on the corner of the instrument. His sleeves fell to his wrists. “Of course I am.”

She stood silently for too long, brows knit. His heart struck up a quicker beat.

“You know, you don’t have to lie to me.” She said. “I want you to talk to me. I’m your mom, for god's sake.”

“I’m fine, I swear.” He said, trying to look assuring. “Just tuning this thing, right now.”

His eyes met the carpet at her feet. She was thinking about it too, he knows. He’d memorized the crimson trail on it, now faded a dark meaningless brown that even his sisters eyes follow sometimes.

Even his sisters.

He swallowed, lashes fluttering. “…I’m gonna take her to the beach.”

“Sure you don’t wanna come?” II’s eyes wander back to him one last time as he stands in the doorway, IV holding it open with a set of keys in his hand. He waits patiently as Vessel shoves his hands in the front of his hoodie, swaying casually on his bare feet. “It’s gonna be a good time, and I know Matt would love to meet ya!” He grins, a laugh in his eyes. “Pretty sure he thinks we’re making you up.”

II has brought his friend Matthew up a couple times now. An old friend from school, now playing drums in his own garage band. The three of them were gonna go bowling today, and of course both II and IV had asked him to come along. But he politely refused. Today is the day he’s gonna take the bandage off of his forehead, and maybe talk to III about the upcoming gig, since he’s still not positive he’s even involved. Though by the end of the conversation he might need a couple new bandaids.

“I guess he’ll have to keep wondering.” Vessel says, a soft smile on his lips. He truly does love the drummer, and he hopes he’s not too disappointed. “I’m not really feeling it today, man. But next time for sure.”

“Well, try and have a nice day around here.” II says, taking a step further out the door and nodding over Vessels shoulder into the house. “You got mister grumpy pants all to yourself, bruv.”

Vessels not sure whether the look II and IV share is sympathetic, amused, or just generally deeper than he understands. But they both have stupid smiles that make him wish he was in the know.

But instead of questions they finally step outside, crunching down the gravel path as he waves them off.

He locks the door behind them.

It’s not what he was expecting.

He holds his bangs up off of his forehead, dropping the cloth into the sink and turning his face slowly in the overhead light.

To be fair, this isn’t the first time he’s taken it off. He’s been showering and waking up to it on the floor beside the sofa, making him wonder just how much he tosses and turns these days. But he always puts it back on before the mirror can beckon him.

There’s something that terrifies him about the whole thing. About the gap in his memories of that night, in which the damn thing must have been carved into him in the first place. The voice in his head feels like it hums from behind the simple scrap of cloth. And the idea of his reflection also being part of the same nightmare in his head would truly prove that, whatever this is, it’s something that won’t leave him.

His shaking fingers graze the raised flesh, following a perfect line that crosses and knits with a few others. He’d say it was a burn, if he didn’t so clearly remember the blood dripping into his eyes. He doesn’t know what it means or what it says, but the meaning is clear;

Mine.

It means that he is owned.

Swiping the hair back into his face, he gives himself a final inspection. You can barely tell it’s there now, and there’s a definite relief at the sight of an otherwise regular bloke in the mirror. With the last few weeks, the dodging his reflection and the ever growing estrangement from his own body, he’d almost forgotten he’s not a monster.

He looks nice.

He almost looks good.

“Alright then,” he says, brushing some lint of his hoodie and picking a dead flake off his lips. “Alright then.”

He treads quietly toward the door at the end of the hallway. There’s not a sound in the house, apart from the faint shuffle of his jeans and a distant flicker that he can’t place. He’s almost scared to breathe wrong, so he really doesn’t at all.

His knuckles rap three quick taps on the door.

His tongue presses the roof of his mouth, mindlessly preparing a “thhh” after he’s met with nothing but silence for a few seconds. But when his weight shifts on the floorboards in what must be the most obnoxious noises known to bassist he hears a quiet “bloody hell” on the other side, followed by a “come in.”

He turns the knob, almost embarrassed by his timidity. Why the fuck is he so nervous? He’s been carried completely naked and unconscious by this guy, he’s been poked and prodded and felt his hot breath on his tear-stained cheeks. he’s been punched in the eye hard enough to floor him and he’s made stupid fucking sounds while quite literally being bathed. So why in god’s name is standing like an 6’4” shadow in the same man’s doorway about the most awkward thing he’s ever been through?

“Um… hello.”

III’s bedroom is about exactly what he expected. On the smaller side, eclectic piles of knickknacks, clothes and colorful decorations all around, not to mention enough incense to knock a person out. There’s a record player spinning lazily by the window, the needle scratching the middle of the vinyl like it’s been forgotten for hours. And on the floor- crossed-legged with his back to the door -is III, hair sprawled all over his head like it hasn’t seen a brush in days.

“What are you doing?” Vessel asks, shoulders getting less tense as he stands curiosity drinking up the sight. He stares at III’s closed eyes in the floor-length mirror.

“Shhh.”

“Meditating?”

“Shhhh.”

“Why would you tell me to come in if it’s a bad time?”

A distressed groan comes out of III and he turns his head, spindly body twisting around to lock him in a glare. “You need something, blud?”

Vessel looks at his feet for a minute, gathering his thoughts. III’s face is bathed in the colors of the several stained glass ornaments in the window, sifting through his long lashes and glowing in his stern eyes. There’s a few candles flickering around the room.

Instead of answering, Vessel decides to just walk in and sit down on the bed. Not something III was expecting, proven as he twists around and straightens fully to eye him. Vessel pulls his feet up onto the bedspread, sitting like an obnoxious cat while still retaining a bit of uncertainty. And it gets just the right reaction out of III.

“I wanted to ask about the gig. II told me one’s coming up and I… was curious about my role.”

III’s eyes are boring into him relentlessly. But again, it feels like a challenge over anything else. Vessel stays put, meeting the stare. A hard swallow tugs on his throat.

“You hoping we’ll let ya sing?”

Vessel’s face flushes, and he can’t help but break the eye contact for a second. He dismisses it by picking at a loose thread in his jeans. “Well I’ve got an extremely flexible schedule. And I’ve been singing with you all, now, for a bit.” He says, offering an awkward sort of smile. “I thought maybe… I was official.”

“Official.” III rolls the word around his mouth, tasting it for a second out of courtesy. But it’s obviously a bit sour. “You think you’re number one all the sudden, blud?”

That’s definitely not what he said. That’s definitely not what he insinuated. God, having a conversation with this man is insufferable. And here he was trying to be polite.

“Well I have been pouring my heart and ass into performing for you guys these last few weeks, crazy to think it wasn’t just for shits and gigs, right?”

III stands up to his full height at that, casting a long shadow down the bed that makes Vessel question his choice of words. “You’ve been fuckin crashing here, you twat.” He bites. “Hiding from the cops on my fuckin sofa and havin fun with a borrowed mic in the meanwhile. You’re welcome, by the fuckin way.” He rests his fist on a sharp hip, throwing a gesture of Vessel’s head. “Looks like you're good as new, now. Ready to go home.”

Oh, hell no. None of that. Vessel’s mouth twists in a scowl, since he’s not sure how else to react to that slew of shit. His throat tightens.

Home.

“First of all, the fun I’ve been having with you guys could of got me enough money by now to call that goddam motel home for another fucking month, if I wasn’t up here singing for the damn squirrels. Second I didn’t ask for any of this shit, I didn’t ask for the fire or these new scars, or any of the things you’ve blamed me for. I’m just fucking tired, man.” The knot in his throat is no idle threat anymore, and he goes quiet, staring up at those deep, frozen eyes. “…Why do you hate me?”

III is silent for a long moment. His lips form a thin line, hair shadowing his features as he bows his head and contemplates something. Most likely, just how he’ll murder him.

He steps closer. And then he fucking shoves him in the chest, knocking the air out of his lungs. He thuds back on the springy mattress, arms falling at his sides and gripping the quilt awkwardly as III towers over him like a goddam predator.

“You’re a bloody good singer.” He says, watching Vessel’s mouth fall open with some short breathes. “The boys like you.”

Each word seems carefully chosen; a gift he only has half a mind to give. The bassist sighs long and hard out his nose.

“You can get up there with us on one fucking condition.” He says. “Cover your fucking face. You might say your innocent, but until I get a whole story and some proof out of your ass, none of us fucking know you. Understand?”

Vessel nods against the bed, something serious in his face now. He doesn’t want to be seen.

“I need a keyboard.” He says, moving on impressively fast from the demand. There’s simply something atrociously fitting about the idea of a mask.

“And there’ll probably be one, too.” III says. “Just make a half decent sound either way.” He moves towards the door now, lifting a weight off of Vessel, who props up on his elbows and watches as he leaves.

“Don’t fuck up.” III says, locking him in one last stare. “Anything.”

He doesn’t have to mention II or IV to make his point. It’s clear as day, and so is Vessel’s resolve to prove that yes, he can be trusted. He can be liked. It doesn’t matter if he’s wearing a mask or not; he wants to be authentic and knowable. Something he’s not sure he’s ever been before.

Besides, the mask will cover up the scar.

It’ll keep the voice inside.

He’s suddenly left alone in the bedroom, unsure of what to do. The record player keeps scratching and the candles keep flickering, and slowly he gets up, wandering to the window. He picks the needle up gingerly, setting it on the rim of the vinyl.

The static is such a familiar sound.

“Clock strikes, upon the hour, and the sun begins to fade…”