#and jensen is never happier

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

Jensen posts something for Christmas on his social media. Within seconds, he says "Merry Christmas, everybody" within seconds, then laughs at someone standing off to the side.

Immediately, antis makes posts talking about how obvious it is that Jensen's wasted in the video because he can't stand being around his wife.

Me:

Where do you see him being drunk in this approximately 10 second video? And where do you see confirmation that this supposed "inebriation" is because of Danneel being around him?

The reach is unreal

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

girl like you 1

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as kidnapping, marital discord, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: a fight with your husband leads to an unexpected situation.

Characters: Lee Bodecker, Jake Jensen

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself. <3

"Marge," you struggle to keep the exasperation from your voice, "that's not how it works. It's a civil dispute, not criminal--" 

"They signed a contract," the blonde dictator bites back at you. 

"Right, and we're going through the appropriate channels to have there violations dealt with--" 

"Ugh, whatever," she throws the folder at you, "shoulda know better. I heard you never even passed the bar." 

You catch the file before the papers can flutter out. You scowl at her as she pushes her hands out in frustration and stomps her pink heel. You pinch your cheeks between your teeth. You never got to take the bar, you got married. Like her. Maybe you should ask about the dust on her English degree. 

"And that lipstick is tacky. It looks awful with your skin tone," she snarls as she rams a manicured nail in your direction, huffing and spin, taking off like a tornado towards the rest of the doll-like HOA clones. 

You look down as you shuffle the papers straight and shrug. You've never quite fit in. This place is like high school 2.0. You never have the right clothes or the right makeup, and no matter how much you primp, your hair just won't behave. You don't know why you bother. 

Well, it's something to do. A hobby in your mostly empty life. Brock promised you it wouldn't be like this. To his defence, you're the idiot who believed him. 

Your husband hasn't exactly kept his promises, has he? You leave through the gate, not bothering with the niceties. You're certain your dismissal was thoroughly witnessed. Besides, the meeting is as good as done. 

You wait by the curb, a text sent to Brock. Your feet kill in these slingbacks. You hate those as much as you hate the mascara that makes your lashes stick. 

The black car comes down the street and you open the door, dropping inside with a puff. You rest the folder in your lap and roll your eyes back against a repressed yawn. You shut the door and buckle your belt. 

"Hey, honey," you greet your husband. "How was your day?" 

"Busy," Brock answers curtly. 

"Oh, did you have dinner? I left it in the oven to reheat--" 

"Your my wife, you're the one who warms my dinner," he insists. 

Your nostrils flare and you look away. This is exactly what you dreaded the day you accepted that ring. All those years of schooling and you threw it away for an empty vow. 

"Alright, I'll turn the stove on when I get in--" 

"How was it? You're early. You didn't stay for drinks?" 

"I'm tired." 

"So? Five years and what do you have to show for it? Like I wanna hear about those dumb bitches at the barbecue? No, I wanna hear about my wife. About everything she's doing for the neighbourhood." 

"Don't talk like that," your murmur. If he thinks they're dumb, what does he think of you? 

"Don't tell me what to do," he snorts, "you know, you might be a little happier if you put in a little effort. Not like I don't bust my ass so you can buy nice dresses and yet you're still wearing this." 

He reaches over and tugs your skirt. It's one of your favourite dresses. You don't see an issue with it, other than it might be a bit past its prime. Besides, he does make a lot of money but you're the one who counts it and makes sure the bills get paid. There isn't room for you to buy Chanel. 

"Sorry," you mutter towards the window. 

"Don't be sorry, do better," he rolls the steering wheel as he rolls around the cul de sac. 

Your chest sinks and your lip twitches. Do better. You're tired of hearing that. You're tired of trying. You're just tired. 

"Stop the car," you demand as you sit up. 

"What?" He scoffs.  

"Stop the car and let me out--" 

"We're almost home." 

"I said let me out of the car," you snarl, "now!" 

He slams on the breaks so hard, you nearly smack into the dashboard. You hit the button on the seat belt and let it rebel. You grab the folder and throw it on the dash so the pages scatter. 

"You can turn a fucking dial," you snip and push the door open. 

He catches your arm, his grip tight and unbending, "where are you going?" 

"I don't know. Anywhere but here." 

"Don't be fucking stupid, get back in the car," he commands. 

"Let go!" 

"You're being stupid--" 

"Like always, right?" You spit at him and wriggle free, his nails scratching you hotly. "I'm done. I can't make you happy and I'm tired of trying." 

You get out and swing the door shut. You grip the strap of your purse, still hooked over your shoulder, and turn on your heel. You click down the sidewalk as he revs and jolts forward, following you. 

"Babe, get back in the car," he calls through the window. 

You ignore him and stomp on, nearly bending your ankle as you do. 

"Stop PMSing and get in the damn car!" He speeds up, almost driving past you, "don't make me tell you again." 

You keep quiet and march on. His brakes scrape to a halt and the car door opens and closes. You hear him behind you. You speed up to evade him. 

"You always gotta make everything a fucking task--" 

He grabs onto your purse and yanks you back, nearly knocking you on your ass. You cry out and face him, tugging on the bag as you play tug-of-war on the sidewalk. The sudden woop startles both of you and the purse drops to the ground.  

You look over as the cruiser pulls up. You know the car number and the face above the wheel. The same on that patrols the suburb. The HOA buys Sheriff Bodecker a special Christmas turkey every year and several other throughout to mark even the most redundant holidays. He's firmly in the pocket of the Stepford robots. 

"Everything okay over here?" Bodecker drawls as he rolls down his window.  

"Yes," Brock answers in tandem with your "no." 

Your husband sighs, "just a marital spat, sir, you know how it is." 

You grimace and shake your head. You pick up the purse as Brock looms close, "nothing to worry about Sheriff," you stand and swoop the bag over your elbow. "Thanks." 

"Babe," Brock says, "let's go home." 

"No," you retort and turn around, continuing on your way. 

You hear a footstep and another wail of the cruiser's siren, "sir, I'm gonna have to ask you not to follow the lady. She said no. She probably just needs to cool off." 

You shake your head and continue on. Brock's voice croaks but he can't summon words. He growls and backs off. 

As you continue down the block, tires slowly turn on the tarmac and you glance over at the sheriff keeps a light foot on the gas, "ma'am, you wanna get in? I'll take ya to the station to settle your mind." 

"It's fine, sheriff," you say, "thank you." 

"Now, miss, I don't mean to frighten you but I gotta," he insists, "I can't just drive off in case your husband decides to follow. I only wanna get you outta the way do he don't do anything dumb." 

"Sheriff, I--" you stop and your soles aches from the high arches of your shoes, "he wouldn't..." 

"Y'all were pretty heated back there," he says, "I'm not saying what would happen, but I'd feel better knowin' you're not wandering the streets alone." 

You chew your tongue and look back and forth. Brock watches from down the street, leaning on his car. You know he's just waiting for Bodecker to take off so he can do exactly what the policeman suggests. 

"Thank you, sir," you step towards the curb, "I appreciate that." 

"Anything for a good lady like yerself," he nods, "'fraid you're gonna have to ride piggy back though." 

He shifts into park and gets out. He opens the back door and you teeter at the edge of the pavement. You never pictured yourself in the back of a police car but it's preferable to the alternative. 

[thehighladywrites]

— “ me? jealous? of course I am…”

☀︎- pairing: Professor Eris x reader, part 2

☀︎- summary: Your secret relationship with Eris is going excellent, until Professor Jensen steps in and tries to flirt with him. Of course, you go ahead and flirt with your classmate as revenge. What do you do when you’re then caught by the same professor as youre bent over Eris’s desk, getting railed?

☀︎- warnings: smut, jealousy on both sides, getting caught, reader being called whore, public sex, PROTECTIVE READER, professor Rhysand is mentioned👀, Feyre being an amazing friend that helps reader scheme, blackmail, Eris realizing he is in love with reader, fluff, taboo relationships, both are obviously old enough.

☀︎- amara’s note: I loved writing this, reader is literally so hot in this omg, also this isn’t my best work but i really liked it anyways!! if u see any typos, your eyes are deceiving you🤷🏽‍♀️

Part 1

Hmm…

Black miniskirt with a white top or the beige pants with a knit sweater?

Surrounded by clothes, scattered across your dorm, you found yourself stuck between two outfit choices. Both looked good, but as you considered where you'd be wearing them, a mischievous smile crossed your face. Opting for an even shorter skirt, you couldn't help but anticipate the classes ahead.

After the confrontation with Professor Eris, you began meeting in secret, kissing between classes, fucking in locked closets, having lowkey meetings at his house. You exchanged numbers and found yourselves frequently texting too.

Well, sext is more like it.

The exchange of messages, if discovered, held the potential to lead to catastrophic consequences. The risk heightened the thrill and danger of the secret relationship, creating a clandestine affair between you.

There had been nudes and videos, audios and links. There had been some blush inducing texting, his words always sparking something in you. Eris was a true charmer, skillfully making you feel exactly what he wrote with a magnetic touch in his messages.

Dressing swiftly and slipping on your shoes, you and Feyre head to class. The only class you shared alone with him was Advanced Literature, but you also had Philosophy together, with Feyre joining in as well.

“You're glowing, Y/N. Any particular reason?” you heard the playful tone in her voice, suspecting that she must have some inkling about someone special in your life.

Shit, you had to be more careful. Feyre was vicious when it came to solving things, and she was one of the most intelligent people you knew. If you told her about Eris, you knew she'd keep it a secret, especially since she always raved about Professor Rhysand in International Relations. She might be a little weirded out, but she wouldn't judge.

“Okay, fine, I'm seeing someone, but you can't tell anyone, promise me. He's very, um, shy and he doesn't like to be around people. Maybe I'll introduce you guys to him sometime in the future, but it's still so new,” you confessed with a half truth, hoping Feyre didn’t see through your bullshit.

Feyre looked at you curiously from the side of her eye and nodded, promising that she'd never tell anyone.

“Is he at least good to you? I mean, he must be. I've never seen you like this before. You're happier than ever. Just please tell me it's not Ilias. He doesn't deserve you, and he never will,” she expressed, concern and sincerity in her voice as she grabbed your hand.

Squeezing her hand back, you assured her that it was over between you and your ex for good this time.

“I promise, Fey. It's over with him. I actually can't believe I went back to him so many times. I literally saw him yesterday in the cafeteria, and I nearly threw up; he was icking me out. Let’s just say that the guy I'm seeing is a bit older, he's really hot, and he makes me feel super good, if you know what I mean.”

You wiggled your brows, and Feyre threw her head back, laughing at your suggestiveness. You kept holding each other's hands until you got to class, finding comfort in your friend.

——

You insisted on sitting at the front, ensuring a clear view of your little secret. The desks were the perfect height, and when he sat at his own desk, he'd have an unobstructed view of your skirt. Just the thought pulled a sly smile from your lips.

The big doors opened up with a thud, and his steps resonated throughout the entire lecture hall. You looked at him and immediately had to look away before a blush crept up on your face. Eris was wearing black, sleek slacks that hugged his thighs and a crisp white shirt, showing his bulging arms. His shoulders looked so fucking massive,he looked so good it nearly made you drool.

He sneaked a glance in your direction before his eyes dropped to your skirt. He huffed a small, subtle smile and looked away.

———

Every time your eyes met, your stomach turned molten, and your thighs clenched. One look from him, and you'd honestly do anything he wanted. Throughout the entire class, you simply scribbled, pretending to hear a word he said. It felt like your whole body vibrated everytime he asked you a question, finding reasons to keep eye contact without anyone raising any alarms.

However, your little dreamy bubble was burst when another professor came in, her heels clicking against the floor in an uneven manner.

Your stomach sank as she got closer and closer to Eris. Your pen eventually snapped from the force of your grip when she put her grubby little fingers all over his arm, fluttering her eyelashes at him as she smiled and pressed her boobs against him.

But what really pissed you off was that he smiled at her.

It felt like someone was sitting on your chest, making your teeth clench. You were seething inside, angry that someone dared to touch him like this. Even though you had been sneaking around for just over two months, you had grown a bit possessive over him and really didn’t like it when other people got so close.

A pout crept onto your face as you looked around, noticing that no one paid much attention to them. Your fellow classmates took the opportunity to chat, oblivious to the storm brewing within you.

Feyre couldn't help but notice the visible change in your demeanor as your eyes burred into Eris.

The pout on your face, the tension in your shoulders – it all screamed discomfort. With a keen eye, she observed the unwarranted familiarity of the other woman's touch on Eris's arm.

Feyre raised an eyebrow and nudged you gently with an amused smile.

“What's going on, Y/N? You look like you're ready to kill someone.”

Your eyes flickered between Feyre and the scene with Eris, frustration evident in your expression. “That professor is all over him, Fey. It's making my blood boil. I mean, we’re in the middle of class, how unprofessional and disgusting to be flirting with him. And who knows, maybe he has a girl or a wife or something. She shouldn’t just do that.”

Having had enough of the scene in front of you, you stood up abruptly, grabbing your bag with frustration evident in your movements. As you left the classroom, you didn’t spare Eris a single look as you felt his eyes burning into yhe back of your head. Glancing back at Feyre, you cocked your head toward the door, silently asking if she was coming. She swiftly gathered her things, a mischievous glint in her eyes, and skipped over to join you in exiting the classroom.

Feyre smirked knowingly before whispering, “So, you fucking the professor or what?”

Your cheeks heated up, and you stammered, “Well, it's new, and I didn't want to say anything yet, but yeah. And before you ask, no it’s not for the grade. I really like him and he likes me back. We just have to keep it under wraps at school but we’re not using each other. And how the hell did you know, am I really that obvious?”

Feyre chuckled. “Baby, it's written all over your face. Don't worry; your secret is safe with me. Now, how are we going to handle this?”

Together, you and Feyre plotted a subtle yet effective way to make him jealous. Little did you know, your friend was excited to have some drama to navigate, especially involving a professor.

———

Your phone vibrated for the millionth time in the past days. Eris had been persistent, trying to reach out through calls and texts, but you'd been deliberately ignoring him all week. Regret gnawed at you, and anger surged as you recalled how he allowed that girl to touch him so publicly. Hurt and frustration clouded your thoughts, envisioning what could have happened if they were alone.

A sense of unease crept in, wondering if he grew tired of the secrecy and sought someone more mature and available—someone who wouldn't risk landing him in legal trouble. The uncertainty lingered, leaving you with a mixture of emotions.

Maybe you were a bit dramatic for completely ignoring him, but who cares?

You swallowed hard and got dressed, opting for the same skirt you had on the last time. Today, you had a plan—a little revenge against Eris. Your strategy involved flirting with a classmate, and you knew just the person: Ilias's best friend, Alex, who always used to check you out when you were dating Ilias. It seemed like the perfect opportunity.

Entering the hall, you slumped down next to him, subtly rearranging your hair and adjusting your bra, making yourself look absolutely irresistible. The game was on, and you were ready to see how Eris would react to a taste of his own medicine.

He was already there, eyes tracking and narrowing when you slumped down next to Alex.

“Hi Alex, how are you doing?” you asked, tilting your body so that he’d have a nice view of your pushed up tits.

His face turned red and he gave you a shy smile.

“Hey, y/n. I’m good, a bit surprised you’re talking to me.”

Yeah, you were really fucking surprised too.

You sighed dramatically. “ Ugh, I totally understand. I mean, I really wanted to befriend you back then, but you know how Ilias is. Always so possessive. Guess he was really threatened by you. He always thought I'd leave him for you, and if I'm honest, I probably would've. You're really cute.”

Your words hung in the air, leaving a calculated impression as you watched his reaction, wondering how this little act would play into your plan.

His eyes widened in surprise, and a subtle grin formed on his face. “Ilias always had a way of complicating things, huh? Well, I'm flattered, hot stuff. I hope you're doing okay now.”

You leaned in, lowering your voice as you let your breast spill out slightly, knowing that Eris was watching your every move.

“Oh, I'm doing much better now. Free from all that drama. Maybe we should grab a coffee sometime and catch up. You know, properly.”

He chuckled, a hint of mischief in his expression. “Sure, sounds like a plan. I'd love to hear more about your new freedom.”

You blew him a kiss before you left him with a seductive smile, the plan unfolded just as you'd hoped. Now, you anticipated Eris's reaction, eager to see how he'd handle the tables turning.

———

Eris was visibly fuming, shooting Alex murderous glares. Throughout the entire lecture, he directed almost every question to him, knowing damn well that he wouldn't be able to answer them.

“That's the fourth question you've gotten wrong, Mr. Halsted. Are you sure this is the right class for you? Regular Lit with Professor Lunden is on Wednesdays; maybe you've gotten them mixed up,” Eris remarked, his tone laced with thinly veiled hostility. The tension in the room escalated as your revenge plan unfolded.

A small pang of guilt tugged at you as you watched Eris target Alex with relentless questioning. However, any sympathy you might have felt was swiftly replaced by the memory of Alex covering up your ex's cheating. In that moment, you couldn't bring yourself to feel sorry for him, and a sense of satisfaction lingered as the tables turned in your little revenge plot.

As the class finished, Eris dismissed everyone except for you. The lingering tension in the room was palpable as your fellow classmates exited, leaving you alone with Eris. The air crackled with anticipation, and you braced yourself for whatever confrontation was about to unfold.

“I've been trying to reach you for days. Why haven't you been answering me?” Eris questioned, frustration evident in his voice.

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest.

“You did? Must've missed it. And besides, aren't you too busy with that professor? What the hell do you need me for?” Your tone held a mix of nonchalance and defiance, ready to confront whatever explanation he might offer.

“If you're talking about Professor Jensen, then you have it all wrong. I don't have anything going on with her. Unless you’ve forgotten, I'm yours. And you're mine, so just what the hell are you doing asking Alex out for coffee?” Eris's words were a mixture of frustration and confusion as he sought an explanation from you. The tension in the air hung thick, awaiting your response.

Oh. Fuck.

A realization hit you like a ton of bricks. You had let jealousy take over, assuming the worst about Eris without even giving him a chance to explain. Your fear of being played again had clouded your judgment, and now you found yourself in a mess of your own making.

“Really? I thought you were sleeping with her or something. I'm so sorry for not letting you explain. I have some trust issues I need to work on. But why was she so close?” Your admission carried a mixture of relief and remorse as you acknowledged your mistake.

Eris eyes softened as he stepped closer, bringing you into a hug while he stroke your hair lovingly.

“She was close because wants me to go on a date with her. I've let her know I'm unavailable several times, but she doesn't seem to understand. Professor Jensen is married as well, and if I told the dean, he'd tell her husband since they're good friends. The only reason she hasn't tried anything further than to touch me is because I keep threatening her to tell the dean,” Eris explained, his words carrying a mixture of frustration and determination. It was clear he had been dealing with an unwelcome situation, trying to maintain boundaries despite the persistence of Professor Jensen.

Your jaw clenched at the thought of her going after him despite his boundaries. You wrapped your arms around him, silently promising to take care of her.

No one would be making him uncomfortable ever again with you around.

A brilliant idea sparked in your mind. You had overheard that Professor Jensen was coming here between classes, presenting the perfect opportunity to assert your claim on Eris and make it clear who he truly belonged to. Hoping she'd understand and leave your man the fuck alone, you started mentally preparing yourself.

“Let me show you how sorry I am, Er,” you whispered, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him briefly before pulling away. You took charge, grabbing his hand and leading him back to his chair by the desk as you made him sit down in front of you.

Standing between his thighs, you leaned forward, placing kisses on his lips, cheek, jaw, and neck. Your lips traveling over his hot skin. You had noticed how incredibly warm Eris was, it was like his skin was like a furnace.

As you contemplated your next move, the realization of your plan sank in.

You were about to fuck your professor, infront of another professor in an unlocked lecture room.

Anyone could walked in.

Suppose you just had to work quickly then.

Your eyes were on his as you bent forward, hooked your finger around your panties and slid them down your legs. You slowly stripped your shirt off, leaving you naked except for your thigh-high stockings, mini skirt, and bra.

A bit slutty for class, you’ll admit.

But whatever you looked good.

Eris's gaze dropped to your body, his hands forming a circle, signaling for you to spin around and show yourself. Giggling, you spun as you showed him your body, lifting your skirt up a bit before getting closer and plopping down in his lap. Eris’s hands automatically came around your waist, holding you in place as you unbuckled his belt, pulling out his cock.

“You’re so big, Eris. Please can I ride you?”

“What a nasty girl. Sitting in her professors lap, begging for cock. You know what were doing is wrong, yet you’re here, dripping wet, grinding all over me.” His teasing tone made your nipples tighten and stiffen, making you whimper in pleasure.

Before you could respond he lifts you up, flipping you around as he bends you over his desk. You gasp, letting out a noise of surprise at the sudden change. His presence warmed your nude back as he carefully slid into you, making your eyes roll back in pleasure as you let out a moan.

He’s so fucking big and every drag against your sensitive walls made you lose your mind. You’d never been fucked this good, ever.

“ Is this what you wanted? Getting fucked in the middle of class? The doors aren’t even locked, sweetheart, anyone could walk in and see how much of a slut you are,” he gritted out between thrusts.

And as if the universe was working with you, the doors opened and professor Jensen walked in.

She looked horrified and let out a yelp.

“What is going on here?” she yelled at you, stepping closer.

You just smirked around her, fucking yourself back at Eris who had completely stopped.

“What does it look like professor? I’m getting fucked by my man.” you emphasized the last part, staring into her eyes as your hands possessivly grabbed his arms on either side of you as you stood straighter.

She scoffed, looking smug as she approached you. “You disgusting whore, you probably did this for a grade. Poor Eris got played by someone whose only interest is a boost in their academic career. Just wait until I tell the Dean.”

You felt Eris tense at her disgusting words towards you, but before he could snap at her, you started laughing.

“Poor Eris knows I’ve been a straight-A student since his father was teaching the course. Poor Eris fucks me because he wants to. And no, you won’t go to the Dean.”

She narrowed her eyes at you, smirking.

“Oh, really? And why is that?”

It was your turn to smile as you played your trump card.

“Because the second you step out of this lecture hall, I’ll send your husband the videos of you flirting with what’s mine. Yeah, I heard your husband pays for your lavish little lifestyle, and that he’s super big on monogamy, something you’re not apparently. So, you won’t tell anyone about us unless you’re ready to lose your lifestyle.”

Professor Jensen's expression shifted from smug to shocked as your words hit her. She stammered, clearly caught off guard by your unexpected revelation.

“You can't... you don't have any proof!” she protested weakly.

You raised an eyebrow, a sly grin playing on your lips. ���Oh, don't I? You see, I've got quite the collection of evidence, not just a video. Texts, emails, photos—enough to make your husband divorce your old ass in a heartbeat.”

Eris watched the scene unfold, a mixture of surprise and amusement on his face.

“Now,” you continued, “we can all go on with our lives. You won't bother us, and I won't ruin yours. Agreed?”

She hesitated for a moment before reluctantly nodding, defeated by the leverage you held. You smirked, satisfied with the turn of events.

“Oh, and if I hear a whisper of you pursuing Eris ever again, your excuses won't matter—I'll make sure to ruin your life.”

As she hurriedly left the lecture hall, Eris turned to you with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“My, look who has got a knack for theatrics. You don’t actually have any evidence do you, love?”

You smile at him, shaking your head and gasp delighted as he continues fucking you.

“N-no, it was just a bit of intimidation, oh f-fuck, h-harder please.”

Warmth spread through your body as he kissed your neck and check, whispering praises and thanks.

“Thank you, sweet one, you’re such a perfect girl. So good for me.”

He kept pounding harder and harder, pulling you in by your neck as you were held flush against his chest, hands lightly squeezing your throat as your eyes crossed at the lightheadedness.

His dirty words, whispered in your ears made you tighten around him impossibly, and it sure as fuck didn’t help when he angled his hips, hitting that spot that made you cum with just a few strokes as he rubbed your clit, sucking on your neck.

It was all too much and you were starting to get overstimulated, but you still wanted him to cum so you grabbed his fingers and sucked on them as they hit the back of your throat nearly making you gag.

Finally you felt a warmth filling you up as he slowed down, groaning as his hands tightened around your throat.

You both sank into the chair, catching your breath. The air was thick with lingering desire, and a serene haze enveloped your mind, leaving only the soft hum of satisfaction. Eris knew you had reached that fuzzy state where you wanted to be cared for, not being able to make any decisions about anything as you floated in your mind. Glancing at the clock he realized that this classroom would be filled with 200 students in about 10 minutes so he reluctantly pulled out and began dressing you both.

“I’m canceling my last class, sweetheart. Let's head to my place, order some food, and just relax,” he whispered, sealing his words with a kiss. Even if the details blurred in your mind, you held onto him, your trust unwavering.

Eris faced an unexpected challenge; your legs gave out, complicating the journey to the secret alleyway where he usually picked you up.

With gentle care, Eris scooped you up bridal style, hoping the alley would be empty today. Skillfully using back entrances and listening for any signs of intrusion, he made his way to his car. As he approached, he checked for any onlookers before settling you gently in the front seat, which he had reclined for your comfort, its tinted windows offering privacy.

Arriving home, Eris couldn't help but steal glances at you as you peacefully slept in the passenger seat. He marveled at your beauty, cherishing the simple joy of having you close.

You stirred, adjusting to find a more comfortable position. Eris gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, captivated by your peaceful beauty.

“Mm, thanks for taking care of me, baby. I love you.”

Hearing those unexpected words, Eris froze. He had known it all along, the feelings growing within him. Yet, he wondered if you were merely tired, your words slipping out without realizing what you were saying.

In the warmth of the moment, his heart fluttering and butterflies dancing in his stomach, he lifted you up, carrying you into his bedroom. There he laid next to you , nerves nearly making him want to throw up as he whispered back the words he had never heard or spoken before,

“I love you too.”

Upon hearing those words, you pulled him closer, resting your head on his chest and placing gentle kisses where his heart beat. Intertwined, you both repeated those three words, reassuring each other that this love would endure forever.

Eris had no doubt in mind, you loved him as he loved you. It was a gentle reminder for someone who hadn’t experienced love before.

[deangirlsstuff67]

It worked

Jensen Ackles x Reader

Warnings: none

Summary: You decide to surprise Jensen at a convention with the help of Jared and Cliff.

You told him you couldn't make it to the VanCon this year. Said you were busy with work and just couldn't afford to have the time off. Building your company from the ground up was hard but rewarding, though it took sacrifices.

Jensen understood like the amazing man he was. You couldn't be happier to call him your man.

He understood but you could still see the sadness in his beautiful green eyes. It had been 2 months since you'd last scene each other. Your business and his acting career made it hard to be together.

Phone calls and texting just weren't enough.

Thank to Jared and the rest of the cast of supernatural you hatched a plan. You were going to surprise your baby at the convention.

Of course, the staff were thrilled to help you. Got you in line for questions in the J2 afternoon panel.

You just had to stay out of sight before then.

-------------------------------------------------------

Hey baby I know you must be busy bur I just wanted to say I love you and I can't wait to see you soon.

The message made you smile. It was torture to stay in the convention center but not go see him.

Large hands grab your shoulder from behind. Turning you come face to face with Cliff, the boys Bodyguard.

"You ready sweetheart?" The older man smiling at you. Cliff and you have had a father daughter relationship from the very beginning. He always looked out for you and made sure to check in a couple times a week.

Returning his smile you nod your head before following him to the hall they were going to be occupying.

Cliff made sure to place you close to the front but out of sight. A couple of the fans in line recognized you and asked for a photo. You'll never get use to people wanting to know you just because of who your boyfriend was.

Robby came on stage with Rich and you laughed along with the crowd at their jokes and act. Before long your man waltzes on stage with Jared not far behind.

Man, he looked better than the last time you'd seen each other if that was even possible.

You watched on as the boys answered question after question. A couple times Jared had to answer them because Jensen was staring at a spot on the floor in front of him and not listening.

Three fans later and you were up next. Jared seen you and winked. Jensen was head down again.

Time for your grand entrance.

"Yeah, I was just wondering if Jensen knows I secretly recording him falling off my horse the last time he was home?"

You could have fallen over just by the look of shock and awe Jensen had when he whipped his head in your direction. No words could describe the love you saw shining in his eyes.

"Yeah Jensen. Do you know this? And y/n I'd like to see this footage." Jared laughed into his mic.

"Over my dead body that ever gets out." Jensen grumbled into his microphone before getting up and making his way to the end of the stage.

"You just going to stand there beautiful or are you going to come see me."

You go running into your man's awaiting arms. His cologne hits you like a brick wall and you feel at home again. You knew he was the one a month after you began dating but this just confirms it.

He takes you hand and leads you back to the seat he was occupying moments ago, "I hope ya'll don't mind if this pretty lady joins our panel."

The crowd goes nuts. Everyone showing their love for us. The smile beaming on your face couldn't be wider.

-------------------------------------------------------

Fan after fan ask the boys questions and shower them in love. You now know why Jensen loves coming to these. It's truly amazing to witness.

The next girl comes up to the microphone and asks her question, shockingly it's for me, "y/n I was wondering what your version of the story goes when it comes to how you and jensen started dating?"

On cue both the men on stage with me burst into laughter remembering the story. Jared hands me his microphone so I can answer.

"I'm not sure what he told you guys, but I know he left out the embarrassing parts. I was out with some friends in Austin on a mini vacation. We were dancing and drinking the night away. As you know I'm a country girl and horse lover so of course I was dressed in jeans, a flannel, and a ball cap. I was at the bar getting another round when I felt someone take my ball cap off my head and replace it with a tan cowboy hat. I whipped around to start yelling at this stupid guy when I came face to face with those gorgeous green eyes."

I look over at the 2 guys with me and they are smiling ear to ear listening to me talk.

"Well hot texan actor or not I wasn't going to put up with it. So I looked him dead in the eyes and told him if he didn't give back my hat I was going to lay him out. Luckily Donna taught him right and I was given back my hat. He told me to keep his, I wore it better. And he wasn't wrong haha. Anyways, the night goes on and we take a smoke break outside. Wouldn't you know this one..." you point back your boyfriend.

"Comes out with some buddies. He walks straight up to me and wraps his arms around my waist. Tells me I can lay him out anyway I desire to so long as I agree to have him take me on a date. Then the guy plants a kiss on my lips."

The crowd is crying from laughing so hard at this point. Who can blame them. Between Jensen and I, we weren't acting in any sense of rational that night.

"Stunned into silence. I agree to this date. When in Texas right. Plus, come on, it's Jensen freaking Ackles. But that's not the best part. These goofs hang with us the rest of the night. At some point Jensen got it in his mind him and I should have a drinking contest. Whoever drinks every shot of whiskey gets to kiss the other. Classy. I win and totally wipe the floor with him, collect my prize. This dumb dumb then proceeded to get on his knees in front of me and ask me to marry him with a ring he had on. No joke. This rest the night he referred to me as his wife."

Everyone is laughing at this point. My boyfriend is red in the face from embarrassment and joy as he remembers our first night together, "hey it worked didn't it."

"Yeah baby it did. Ever since I've been with this crazy wonderful man and I haven't regretted a minute of accepting the drunk proposal."

Just then Rob and Rich come back on stage woth tears in their eyes. Rob gets on his mic, "I've never heard the story told that way before."

Laughing I smile over at my dear friend, "that's because he barely remembers it after all the whiskey."

"Hey I remember. How could I forget. Jared showed me the video the next morning. I was so embarrassed, like great now she thinks I'm some creeper."

"Do you still have it?"

You hold up the hand that Jensen's ring sits proudly on your finger, "never taken it off. I didn't know fully, but I had an idea that he was going to be the one."

Jensen comes up beside you and kisses you softly. When you break apart he leans in close so only you can hear, "Oh baby girl, you're getting it good and hard tonight."

"Promise daddy."

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Part 2 coming...

Taglist:

@syrma-sensei @nancymcl @yvonneeeee @foxyjwls007 @lessons-of-red @senjoritanana @leigh70 @tristanrosspada-ackles @maggiegirl17 @neii3n

[lightofraye]

i don't blame you for being jealous of Danneel, she's so lucky!

she gets to snuggle on Jensen's arms whenever she's sad.

she gets to caress his hair and massage his shoulders when he's tense.

she gets to have raspy kisses with beard and soft kisses without it.

she gets to make him feel better and cook for him, and watch him eat her food.

she gets to wake up besides him and love him, in the exact way he needs it.

you will never experience those things, you know it and it pains you.

because Jensen is so kind, so sweet, so unlike that asshole who abused you.

i really don't blame you for hating the one who owns his heart.

Hi anon.

Wow.

Just… wow.

So you think the reason I “hate” Danneel is because… she has Jensen? That she’s in the position I want?

What position is that?

The one where the husband stays far away from home as much as possible, avoiding his wife (and sadly, his kids, in the process)? The one where the husband is berated, put down, emotionally neglected and unsupported? The one where the wife spends and wastes his money because she has next-to-nothing to fill her life with? No interests, no hobbies, no enjoyable things because she’s vapid, shallow, a user and abuser? The one who is so cruel and excuses it as “I’m just being honest!” and “I have no filter”?

That one?

Oh, honey… no.

I would never be jealous of her. Why would I? She doesn’t have that fiction you paint. The fiction you clearly inserted yourself in and dream of, but not me.

I wouldn’t want that loveless marriage. I wouldn’t want the one where the husband had admitted the marriage works better when they’re apart. Where he has ‘told’ on himself time and again that they aren’t together except in name only. Where he has painted a picture of a wife that he despises.

I bet you thought you were clever when you decided to bring up my abuser. That little clever jab amidst your fantasy. And it wasn’t clever. It was too obvious. I mean, really. You AAs… you Jenneel stans… you keep trying, but… tsk.

You keep trying to make it look like I’m lying, but you haven’t come up with any concrete evidence that what I’ve said is wrong. (And no “what about Jensen’s stories at conventions?” doesn’t count. Precisely because those stories are too generic and without heart. Even the ones about the kids, which is tragic.)

So you try to hurt me by bringing up my abuser.

As if me living my best life isn’t the best kind of revenge on him—showing him I’m thriving without him, happier without him.

Nice try, though.

[castielsprostate]

taylor swift coming home from a long day of deploying Co2 emissions, she shrugs off her blood red coat and takes off her heels as she skitters into the kitchen. she grabs a beer from the fridge, sits down in the singular chair in her mansion, perfectly placed in the middle, and props her feet up on a stuffed misha collins footrest as she yells slurs as jensen ackles who's hung from the ceiling. a tear rolls down misha's face, he's never been happier.

[seenthisepisode]

we deserved a scene where cas is about to leave at the end of an episode for unknown reasons again and as he turns around and starts climbing the stairs we see dean look up at him, fists clenched eyes teary jensen's microexpressions on his face and looking completely miserable. and he should close his eyes and whisper "stay" and he is surprised because he wasn't meant to say that out loud. but he did. and castiel stops, shocked and turns to dean and looks down, questioning. and dean's head hangs low and he feels he is about to cry. and he says something like. "please stay man. just stay. i mean why are you even leaving, cas. don't you want to stay" and he is about to explode because what if cas just doesn't want to be around and its his own fault for telling him to leave that one time as if he doesn't have regular nightmares and all consuming guilt about it. and cas on the other hand looks absolutely wonderstruck, eyes wild, not noticing his breath and heartbeat getting faster. and finally he dares to ask quietly "i... suppose i could stay? what do you need me for dean?" because he will not let himself believe dean doesn't need anything. and dean does this little hurt laugh of his and says "cas i don't need anything man i just don't want you to leave. you can stay can't you just stay one damn time" and cas starts carefully going down the stairs as if not to scare dean or something. and he stays and dean sees him in the morning and looks happier than ever. and this is the first step to cas staying which later leads to long movie nights and even longer talks and dean falling asleep curled up next to castiel feeling safer than ever. and one morning when dean slowly wakes up cas realizes, horrified, that he stayed all night next to dean in his bed but he also spent all night playing absentmindedly with dean's hair. he is terrified that dean will be angry or something but dean wakes up and says he never slept better. which later leads to soft kisses and also amazing sex but i will stop right there because there are children present on this webbed site

[agirlwithdemonblood]

The Celebrity Next Door: Chapter 5 - Crossroads of Feelings

Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Chapter Summary: A little drinking and bonding has never hurt anyone right... Right?

Series Masterlist here!! & Main masterlist here!

It's been two weeks since I went to Jensen's for coffee, and since then, we've been growing closer. We meet up every few days for coffee and casual conversations about anything and everything, and the chemistry was defiantly building, with long gazes and subtle touches every so often, it felt like a slow burn.

I often spot Jensen walking down the street with his kids, and when he sees me, he waves, and I wave back. It was nice seeing him out and about, looking lighter and happier than when I first met him. It's all very neighbourly. Katie, his daughter, sometimes stops by when I'm checking the mail just to say hello. These small interactions have become a regular part of my routine.

But over the past few days, I've noticed less of Jensen. He'd wave when he saw me outside, but once he was back indoors, it felt like he vanished.

Well, not from my mind. Thoughts of him seemed to occupy my every moment, replaying his words and the way he said my name. It was frustrating because I found myself missing him. I didn't like being home without his presence nearby.

I started lingering longer at the office, arriving at 7:00 am and leaving at 6:00 pm. Even at home, I fought to keep myself busy with calls and contracts, trying to distract myself, to not depend on him, but nothing seemed enough.

I hated the affect he had on me already.

Today flew by faster than I wanted, and before I knew it, I was driving back to my quiet house as I did every evening. As much as I was starting to love my new life in LA, I missed having friends. I missed having people to talk to, to laugh with. Making friends here felt near impossible to me, and I didn't know where to begin.

Pulling into the driveway, I froze when I saw Jensen sitting on my porch, a bottle of wine in hand. What a nice surprise.

I smiled and stepped out of my car, making my way towards him. When he saw me, he stood up and greeted me warmly. "Y/N.. Any chance you'd like to have a drink?"

I laughed and nodded, moving to unlock my door and invite him inside. He looked around the house with genuine interest, as if he's never seen a house before, which warmed my heart.

"Wow, this place is beautiful." he commented.

I chuckled and shook my head at his compliment. "Jensen, you don't have to be polite. Compared to your house, this is just an apartment."

He shrugged with a smile. "Maybe, but mine doesn't feel like home. It's just walls and windows. Yours, though, it has this Y/N vibe all around."

"A Y/N vibe?" I repeated, amused. "I like that."

Grabbing the wine glasses, I returned to Jensen, noticing him studying a photograph on my wall. "This is cute. Who are all these people?"

I moved closer, the way his breathing hitched making me smile, "That's my dad, my mom, my sister Christina, and my other sister Stephanie, and of course me in the middle."

He smiled widely and nodded, "What a beautiful family."

Though it was a simple compliment, it meant the world to me. The word beautiful has never really been used to describe me, or my life.

"Thank you, Jensen. I haven't talked to them much since moving here, so it's been tough. But this picture always brings a smile to my face."

He frowned slightly, sipping his wine as he took another glance at the photo. "Why don't you visit them? Or have a housewarming party and invite them here?"

I laughed sadly as we moved to the couch, Jensen sitting beside me. "My parents aren't in the best financial situation so taking a flight would be hard on them, plus driving is like 41 hours so that's out."

His expression softened, eyes fixed on mine with an intensity that surprised me.

"My dad does odd jobs like painting and electric work," I explained, "My mom works at a local diner. They manage, but money's always tight. Even though their divorced, they still live together because neither one of them can move out. That's partly why I moved here, hoping to send them money to help out each month."

His expression was different than I've seen before, his eyes filled with admiration and tenderness, his usual charm replaced by a heartfelt sincerity that caught me off guard.

He was silent, and I started to feel like I said something wrong. I quickly gulped the rest of my drink and stood up from my spot, "I'm sorry, that was probably too much information. I didn't mean to turn this into a pity party."

His hand gently gripped mine, shaking himself out of his trance. "No, not at all. It's just... surprising to hear is all."

"Why?" I questioned, sitting back down beside him.

His hand remained on my arm, gaze locked on mine. "You're different from people around here. Kind, generous. I feel like people here are constantly expecting things; but you give. Like when you came to my place about Katie and the broken window, I half expected you to dance home thinking about a huge payday. That's how people usually are."

I scoffed, shaking my head. "I hate that. My parents never asked for money, and neither have I. When my window broke, I went straight to my boss to make sure you wouldn't have to pay."

He smirked, squeezing my hand. "Was it covered, though? You said it was."

I bit my lip nervously as my gaze dropped, "Doesn't really matter, right? It's fixed."

"Please tell me?" He asked softly.

I sighed and brought my gaze to his, smiling nervously. "It wasn't fully covered, actually. To file a claim, I needed your information. But I didn't know if many people knew you lived here, and I didn't want to expose you over a broken window."

Confusion flickered across Jensen's face as he looked down, his hand still holding mine. "But you didn't even know me. Why protect me, put me ahead of yourself?"

"It didn't matter who you were." I replied softly. "I wouldn't have asked for money. I only came to your house to make sure Katie got home safely; everything else was a surprise."

He froze, his eyes meeting mine with a mixture of passion and affection, his gaze drifting to my lips. His hand slowly moved to my cheek, causing my breath to hitch. Before I knew it, his lips were on mine, hands tangled in my hair.

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer as we lost ourselves in each other. His knee moved between my legs and I shivered. He groaned against my lips when I scratched his back.

It felt like we were falling apart together, all our defences crumbling around us. We breathed each other in, falling into each other.

But then everything changed.

He pulled away from me unexpectedly, his expression filled with shock and fear as he looked down at me. "Shit, I... I'm sorry." he whispered.

Confusion and hurt blended in my chest. "You don't need to apologize."

He stood quickly, helping me to my feet and moving towards the door with regret in his eyes. "That wasn't supposed to happen. I didn't want that to happen."

His words hit me like a slap in the face, my heart sinking into my stomach, breath catching in my throat. "Oh... right. It was a mistake."

He halted, guilt engraved on his face. "Oh... no, Y/N, that's not—"

Forcing a smile, I opened the door for him, holding back tears threatening to spill over. "It's okay, Jensen. I should go to bed anyway. Have a good night, okay?"

He froze, shame evident on his face, trying to meet my eyes, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

I felt embarrassed for assuming we were on the same page, that there was something between us. Now, I was left with a broken heart and a bruised ego, wondering how I could ever face him after this.

Jensen walked away from Y/N's house with a knot of anxiety in his stomach. Guilt weighed heavily on him as he replayed the evening in his mind. He cared about her deeply, but it wasn't supposed to happen like that. He wanted to kick himself for not handing the situation better, for hurting someone who had been nothing but kind to him.

Back home, he paced the living room, unable to shake the feeling of regret. He knew he had hurt her, and the thought pained him. Y/N was special to him, different from anyone he had met since his divorce. She was genuine, caring and he felt a connection he hadn't felt in a very long time. Yet, that very connection scared him.

He ran his hand through his hair, and sighed. He couldn't stop thinking about her, her warmth, her smile, and the way she had opened up with him in a way that nobody had since his life became a whirlwind of schedules and public apperances.

He grabbed his phone several times, fingers hovering over her contacting, wanting desperately to reach out and apologize, but each time, he hesitated, unsure of what to say or if she even wanted to hear from him.

As he got into bed, he made the decision to give her some time and than make things right. He wanted to explain everything, apologize for how he handled the situation and for hurting her, hoping that when he did, she would understand but the fear of losing her was anxiety inducing, he didn't want to lose the one person who made him feel alive again.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 6 coming soon stay tuned!

Like, comment, and reblog, feedback is my fuel 💕

[pickledpascal]

Long Story Short, It Was a Bad Time

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Castiel

Warnings: transphobia, homophobia, horrible parent john winchester, homophobic language, implied past prostitution, based on 14x13, angst with a happy-ish ending

A/N: in this, dean is trans and visually looks similar to another of jensen's characters, beau arlen.

Word Count: 4.8k

Jensen Ackles Masterlist

Dean Winchester had known he was a boy since he could talk. Hell, before he could talk. 

He wasn't aware he wasn't a boy until after his mother died and every single teacher in every single town they went to called him a girl and separated him into the girls' lines instead of the boys. It got increasingly mind-numbing as he entered his pre-teen years. His first period came around and his dad wasn't sure what to do. Pads were one of the most expensive supplies he had to buy and he never failed to make Dean feel bad about it at every turn. 

“Suck it up, Deanna.” 

“Don't go tellin’ anyone I don't do anything for you, Deanna.” 

“You better clean the garbage out when I get home, Deanna. I don't wanna see that.” 

The name itched him like a bad rash. Made him want to scream. But all he could do was cry. After John was gone and Sammy was asleep. 

His boobs were growing in and everything about his body felt wrong. He was glad he was naturally tall and that he was able to gain more muscle the more John let him go on hunts but it wasn't the same. His shoulders weren't as broad as the other guys in his class, his hips jutted out too much for his liking, and he hated his long hair. 

Dean cut it on his sixteenth birthday and told his father it was under the guise of wanting to be safe. Unpullable hair meant one less thing he had to worry about when it came to monsters. John looked at him suspiciously. He must have known. But he didn't blow up like Dean expected him to. That made the wrenching feeling in his gut twist more. There had to be a catch. 

He came out two weeks after that.

“Thank God.” Dean blinked at the reaction. “I thought I was gonna have a dyke of a daughter. Now, I have another son. You going by another name?” 

Dean wanted to throw up. Somehow, that made everything worse. His father would rather have a son than a lesbian daughter? He didn't want to think about the fact that he still liked boys just not as much as girls. 

He had a few mishaps, he'd look at a few guys as he passed them with John at his side. Dean didn't think too much of it since nothing came of it. Why would John punish him for something as simple as a glance? 

Then his seventeenth birthday came.

Dean's first hunt by himself, specifically curated by his father. He watched the fire in the hole he dug earlier with his hands pushed into the pockets of his jacket. The two bodies were as intertwined as they could be for rotting skeletons. 

The heat was nice. But bittersweet. He was close enough that it could burn him. Dean would've loved to burn to a crisp as well but he had a brother to protect. 

Dean swallowed thickly and gathered up his supplies.

Message heard loud and clear, Dad.

Dean's top surgery was one of the things he remembered the most about his more medical transition. He couldn't get testosterone as much as he wanted to with forged signatures and documents but Bobby offered something else. 

So Dean was laid down on a steel examination table asleep on some anesthetic Bobby was able to get off the black market. Bobby didn't have much experience being a surgeon so it wasn't the best but it was as sterile and safe as it could be. But Dean couldn't have been happier. His chest was flat. That's what he cared about. Even if he had to be at Bobby's for weeks. He was just glad Sam was there too instead of having to leave him alone with John. 

Time passed. Dean leaned hard into his masculinity after John died. A little too hard. 

“You are way out of my brother’s league.”

“Guess how many of these cheerleaders are legal.”

“She's a bitch.”

“Fucking bitch!”

“Bitch!”

Part of it was his frustration with nearly being killed every day of his life, not even by monsters, the other part was the things John beat into him at a young age. If Dean wanted to be a man, he had to be one at John's discretion. He had to like girls but not enough to actually settle down with one. He had to look out for Sam even if that meant he would die. 

So he did. 

Made a deal. Went to hell. 

Except he didn't expect to come back. 

That gas station would forever stay in his mind. He walked for hours to find it. His whole body felt a little different. Jumbled around but he could tell his body was still his. He immediately went for the water bottles and broke the seal, downing it in one go. 

Dean caught a glimpse of a mirror out of the corner of his eye. He walked up to it and licked at his bottom lip, staring at himself. He noticed his sharper jaw decorated with stubble, his hair seemed to be less chopped, his shoulders more broad, and… he had bowlegs? He looked down and then back up. 

Intrigued, he lifted his shirt. His lips dropped open. The scars under his pecs were still there but they were different, no longer botched and scary-looking, but smooth. And his chest. It wasn't completely flat like it was before. His pecs looked more natural, protruding a bit. Like a “real” man. Dean let his shirt drop as he breathed. The handprint on his arm was there too and, for a moment, he knew something cosmic had to be the reason for this, but something inside him felt so happy. Giddy. 

He snuck a peak under his jeans. And, yeah, no he still didn't have a dick but he didn't particularly care about that anyway. One of the only things about his body that didn't matter as much. Well, at least now he felt comfortable in himself even if it came at a price. 

Over and over again. He was reminded of what he “really” was. 

“Daddy's blunt little instrument.”

“Daddy's little girl.” 

Hell, half of it came from himself. As a joke. Not one he particularly wanted to be true.

“I've been re-hymenated.” 

“Ever since I was a little girl.”

“You got anything that’s real?” “My boobs.”

As Dean grew older, he started to shed those kinds of ideals. Not only did it get too heavy to bear but he started not to care anymore. John was dead. Mary was dead. Who did he have to impress? So he didn't mind talking about the fact he didn't have a dick and indulging himself on some things that may be seen as feminine. Like a few satin panties tucked into the bottom of his drawer or the few times he painted his nails—it never lasted long when he went on a hunt. 

Although Dean still thought of his body as a tool, something he could use against their adversaries, it was a little easier to live in when he was in control of what he could do to it. When it was the kind of body he always wanted. So he got more tattoos to cover his body—they were mostly covered by his layers of denim and flannel except for one that creeped onto the side of his neck—his nipples got pierced and he nearly forgot he actually had nerve endings there when it happened, he grew out his hair a bit—not nearly as long as Sam’s but enough that he could style it better—he started wearing earrings and rings again. Not many and usually not during hunts because he had a feeling any monster, or human for that matter, would take advantage of it and tear his ear in half.

Sam and Castiel didn't mention it. Ever. And Dean wasn't sure if he should be grateful for it or not. 

“Why did you…” Dean breathed, glancing up at Castiel. He didn't want to finish the rest of his question. It was right after Mary came back and she had locked herself in some random room in the bunker to process something. 

Dean was no longer her beautiful, young four-year-old daughter Deanna. He was a grown man with shorter hair, a sharp jaw, and stubble. He knew it would be a shock for anyone, especially someone dead for so long but he didn't expect it to reopen a wound he thought had healed years ago. People had only ever thought of Dean as Dean. A man. 

Even the very few women he got with after transitioning still thought of him as a man afterward. 

Castiel’s eyes softened at Dean. He could sense the turmoil inside his head. “I was given liberty to rebuild you in the way I thought would prepare you for Micheal,” He admitted softly. He could see Dean was holding in a breath. “I decided to give you the body you wanted. The one you deserved. I had never seen a soul shine as bright as yours as you looked at my handiwork in that gas station. I knew then, I made the right decision.”

Dean's cheeks flared with blush, averting his gaze to look at anywhere but Castiel. He never quite thought about him being there, watching him admire himself. He knew that was Cas, of course, he did, but to Dean, it wasn't Cas just yet. The Cas he knew was so different from that grinding, high-pitched noise he remembered hearing.

The Cas he knew was safe. His best friend. The closest thing to family he had beside Sam. He was able to be open with Cas in a different way than Sam. 

More and more shit came and went. More and more apocalypses. But Castiel was a constant. Even if he died a few times. Even if he left a few times. He usually came back. Dean wanted him to stay. For good. But even if he was more open with being a transgender guy and liking girls and guys, he still wasn't that open about his feelings. His more complicated feelings. 

“Sam? Deanna?”

That fucking pearl. 

The sight of his father. That's not what Dean wanted. That wasn't his deepest desire. Hell, he didn't even know what his deepest desire was. And that name. He hadn't heard that name in years. Mary caught on quickly that Dean was Dean and that was it. But, of course, his father wouldn't. Even if he liked having Dean as a son more than a daughter. 

That fucking pearl was supposed to get Micheal the fuck out of his head and kill him for good measure. Instead, it brought him the one thing Dean hated more than anything in his life.

On autopilot, Dean locked himself in his room. He nearly fell to his knees but he braced himself on the wall and had half a mind to punch a hole in it. He winced as that banging in his mind got louder. Micheal screamed. Dean slid down the wall and pushed his hands into his hair. His breathing was harbored and he felt suffocated as if something was weighing down his chest.i

Why did that pearl do that? Dean was happy without him. As happy as he could be with an archangel in his head and tonnes of baggage. 

A soft knock brought Dean back to reality. Cas. He pushed himself off the ground and opened the door. 

“Sam told me about your father,” His tone was deathly serious. Dean hadn't heard Castiel sound like that in a while. He was grateful for it. “Would you like me to smite him?”

Dean swallowed. The offer was tempting. “Jesus, Cas, no. I—” Want him gone. Dead. Obliterated. Erased from his memories. Back in Hell. Gone from Heaven. Tortured to be forgotten. “I need you. Here. With me.” His shoulders slumped after the admission. 

“Of course, Dean. Whatever you need.” Castiel's voice softened as his eyes did as well. It was so truthful, said with such fondness Dean nearly cried. 

Dean sat at the end of his bed and motioned for Castiel to do the same. The angel obliged. He knew there was this thing between them. Obvious enough Sam started to call him out on it, never in front of Cas to save him from the embarrassment, but it was always on his mind when they were alone together. He wasn't sure what to do with it. All his feelings. Everything was so complex. Yet simple. It was a strange dichotomy. One he wasn't sure he wanted to admit out loud. 

But the fact that Castiel had only ever seen Dean as a man helped. Drove it into his thick skull what this thing was. Love. Castiel spoke to him so reverently. Spoke his name like a prayer. One Dean desperately wanted to hear over and over again. 

“Hello, Dean.” 

“Of course, Dean.” 

“Good things do happen, Dean.”

“This is a good thing, Dean.”

“He called me Deanna,” Dean admitted softly, eyes focused on his boots. He was naturally tall, even before resurrected by Cas, but the boots gave him an extra inch or so to not look as small next to Sam. He could feel how tense Castiel was after his words. “It's… funny,” He let out a dry laugh, “For years, I've been fine. Been good in that area. But that's just—” Dean took a sharp breath. “People see me as a guy now. At least, they do until they get in my pants. But Dad—John, I fucking look like this,” He gestured to himself, “And he calls me Deanna? Fuck me.” He scoffed. 

For a second, he had a feeling John only humored him when he was younger. Called him Dean, got him a binder before his surgery, just because it was easier. If Dean became a man then he wouldn't look as much like Mary anymore and then maybe he wouldn't see her in his eyes or his face. 

But John still did. This was proof of that. 

“Your father, for lack of a better term, is a bitch.” Castiel said shamelessly. “You are so much more than a man born in the wrong body. It's a shame your father is too blind to see that.”

Dean's breath caught in his throat. And then he laughed. Hard. Hard enough his lungs started hurting and he had to gasp for air. Hard enough that tears started to form at the edges of his eyes and a few even rolled down his cheeks. He didn't register his hand on Castiel's thigh until he set his hand on top of it. 

Dean pulled it away. Or tried. Castiel held it in place. “Your soul…” He murmured. “It shines so bright when you laugh.” 

His voice. So soft and reassuring. Dean screwed his eyes shut. He couldn't help the fluttering in his chest. For the first time in a while, Micheal was silent. It was just him and Cas in the middle of his bed. Safe. Outside his room might be different. 

Dean's eyes lifted to meet Castiel's. They were a brilliant shade of blue he couldn't quite place. Nothing matched it. Sure, he could compare them to the ocean or perhaps the sky but even those didn't come close. Without thinking too hard, Dean let himself go. 

His free hand pulled Castiel close as he brought their lips together. The surprised noise the angel made was cute and Dean could feel him melting into the kiss. Castiel's lips were chapped, Dean chalked it up to him not caring for his vessel much, but everything felt so right. Their fingers intertwined while Cas threaded his free hand through Dean's hair. 

A cough. And suddenly Dean and Cas jumped away from each other. It was Sam. Dean took a breath, thankful that it was Sam and not John. Sam smirked as his eyes flickered between the two men but it was quickly wiped off his face. “Mom and Dad… they want to have dinner together.” He explained, focusing on Dean. 

There was still a lot Dean didn't tell Mary about John. About their life before the Men of Letters bunker. What Dean did to survive, to make sure Sam could live as comfortably as possible, to put food on the table and get a bed to sleep on, even while John was still alive. Bathrooms in gas stations on his knees, in the back of bars, dingy motel rooms. 

John never asked where the money came from, he took it anyway. 

If Mary knew, Dean knew she would look at John in a different light. A part of him didn't want to tarnish that for her. Even though it took some adjusting, she had accepted Dean wholeheartedly. Hell, she only messed up on his pronouns a few times, that was a lot better than when Sam first found out. 

“Dean, do you want…?” Sam didn't finish his sentence. He didn't know the full extent of what John did to him but he knew Dean intentionally took the brunt of the abuse for Sam. And he could never take that back. “He's asking about you. Saying you—you finally look like a man. Wondered what kind of work you had done. Thinks you're…” Sam wasn't trying to guilt trip Dean, quite the opposite. “Thinks you get a lot of girls. Asked if you had a wife or something. Asked if you,” He coughed, “Got a dick yet.” 

Dean’s fist clenched as his face contorted into disgust. Out of the corner of his eye, he could feel Castiel getting frustrated as well. 

Screwing his eyes shut, Michael crept up in his mind again. The screams. The banging. It came back tenfold. “What does he even want? For us to be fucking normal?” Dean huffed.

“Yeah,” Sam said simply. “Dad… he's from 2003. That's what he does best. Act normal when nothing is.” He smiled sadly. 

Dean stood up from the bed and rolled up the sleeves to his flannel shirt. He wouldn't—couldn’t—let his father undo everything he had ever built in the last fourteen years of his life. The small little family he made. Sam, him, Mary, Cas, Jack, and Claire. That was his family. Not John. 

Castiel looked at Dean, concerned. “Are you sure, Dean?” He could see that little boy inside him, still scared of what his father could do to him. But he could also see the grown man he came to be, unafraid of his father because he could likely overpower him now. 

Before he could think about it too hard, Dean nodded. “C'mon, sunshine. I'm not letting him fuck with my head again.” His leg bounced slightly. Not from nerves. 

Dean, Sam, and Cas made their way into the war room where John and Mary sat at the map table. John’s head lifted to look at Dean. Fully look at him. Take in his new appearance. When he appeared, Dean didn't stay long enough for John to get a good look at what he had become. The last time he'd seen Dean, he was twenty-five, wore too big clothes, had a skinner frame, and his hair was short and was never styled. This Dean… was not that.

He grew into his height, broad shoulders, visible muscles under his flannel—John would have never guessed Dean was born a girl. That he was his daughter. 

“Deanna.” John breathed. 

“Dean.” The man corrected. “You're… here.” He wished he wasn't. 

John’s eyes narrowed momentarily. Normally, he would've slapped him for something like that but he wasn't stupid. This Dean had a few pounds on him. “I am. Sam and your mom caught me up on everything that went down,” His eyes shifted to land on Castiel. “That the angel that pulled you out of Hell?” 

“Hello, John.” Castiel greeted, void of any emotion. Dean glanced at him. He knew the angel inside and out and he knew Castiel was getting increasingly annoyed simply being in John's presence. 

Mary sensed the tension between them and coughed. “I was thinking we could have Winchester Surprise?” She suggested softly—ever the peacemaker. 

Dean cocked an eyebrow at his mother. He knew Mary was desperate to have John, they didn't have much time together and she was still very much in love, but no one else wanted him there. Dean didn't and neither did Sam and Castiel was so close to stomping John into a curb. 

“I'm not sure that's a good idea, Mom.” Dean finally said. As much as he wanted to protect her from the real John, the one who was hiding behind a loving façade, he had to break the news to her. There must always come a time when the veil gets taken away from someone’s eyes, showing them the truth.

John tilted his head and Dean couldn't help but feel it was condescending. “Why not? We're all family here. We can be normal for a night,” He stared at Dean a little too hard. “As normal as we can be.”

“We were never normal,” Dean ground out. It took all his self-control not to just yell at him. Mary looked at Dean worriedly. She'd seen Dean mad, specifically at her, but nothing like this. His shoulders were tense and his nose was drawn into a snarl. 

“You–You don't get it. Never will. You suck for a father. I had to raise Sam myself. You'd fuck off to who knows where drunk half the time and make me, a four-year-old watch over a fucking baby. And you liked me better as a son than a girl who liked girls? What the fuck?” Yeah. Fuck that self-control. Dean’s jaw set in place. “Guess fucking what dad? I like girls and boys. And I could care fucking less what you think of—”

Dean's jaw throbbed. Surprise shivered down his spine. John flexed his hand as he stared down at Dean as he cupped his face.

“John!” Mary yelled.

Castiel nearly jumped John before Dean did. With a single right hook, John was out cold on the floor. He flapped his hand afterward, feeling the soreness immediately. It had been a while since Dean had to punch someone, usually, he had a gun or knife when fighting, he was a little surprised at how effective it was. 

“Dean!” Mary huffed as she went to John's side.

Dean bit the inside of his cheek. He decided he might as well come out with it. “Fuck him, Mom. He was never my father. He never tried to be. I was the only person who watched over Sam. A tool in his life while he was dead-set on revenge. We could have been normal. If he never went on a rampage.” He looked down at the pitiful heap that was his father with disgust. He glanced at Castiel over his shoulder. 

Mary shook her head, trying to reason with Dean. “We're a family. We don't give up on family.” She whispered. 

“Sometimes you do,” Dean huffed softly. As much as he and Sam fought, as many times as they took turns dying, it never got so bad that Dean thought he hated him. At least, not for more than a day or so. “I'm good with who I am. Dad isn't. I don't want him in my life. I don't think I ever had but… this is my life now. I get to live it. Meaning I get to choose who's in it,” He swallowed thickly, knowing what he was about to admit. “In ten years time, it's not with him. Never was.” 

“Dean, you don't mean that.” Mary sighed. Pleading. She wanted to keep John, make up for lost time.

Sam took a step forward. “Mom, you don't get it either. The shit John put Dean through—put both of us through—no kid should have to go through that.”

Mary huffed, “Then tell me. You can't just expect me to know.” 

Castiel stared at her. “Your sons don't have to say anything they are uncomfortable admitting.” He said it as if he was stating the weather forecast. 

Dean pursed his lips. Hurt. He knew Mary wouldn't understand but he didn't quite expect this. He turned on his heels and made his way back into his room. 

Eventually, everything was as it was. John was sent back after Sam destroyed the pearl and Dean could breathe a little more comfortably afterward. Mary shut herself off from them but he had a feeling that would get resolved as much as the gut-wrenching feeling in his stomach told him it wouldn't. He never wanted to see or think about John ever again. Hadn't wanted to for years after the shit he's gone through. 

Dean heard a knock on his door after he got ready for bed. Hell, he was halfway underneath the covers when it happened. He grumbled under his breath, not thinking to put on a shirt or a pair of pants as he opened the door.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel said softly. As soft as each time before. Dean was suddenly very aware of how bare he was. “Do not be alarmed, it's nothing I haven't seen before.” The angel stepped inside his room, closing the door behind him. 

Castiel's words did nothing to ease Dean's beating heart. It felt like a hammer against his chest, wanting to tear itself out of him. 

Castiel’s eyes never wavered from his face, studying it as if it were a work of art. He lifted a hand to Dean's cheek. Dean felt as if the air was punched out of him. “I want to know if you're okay, Dean.” Those blue eyes—they never looked at him in pity, never. They looked at him with wonder and understanding. 

Dean didn't register the single tear that rolled down his cheek until Castiel's thumb wiped it away. “Not really, Cas.” He breathed. Admitting it didn't feel as bad as he thought it would. 

“Why—” Castiel took a breath, saddened by how destroyed Dean's eyes looked. “Why do you think the pearl… gave you John?” He asked softly as he and Dean sat on his bed. 

Dean glanced at the corner of his room, lip trembling with a mix of rage and sadness. “Maybe the pearl thought I wanted a Dad. Someone who could love me unconditionally. But I—” He paused sharply, eyes finding Castiel's all over again. He wanted to memorize his eyes as if it were the first time he saw them. Or the last. “I have you.” He breathed. For the first time, Dean hadn't been compelled to add Sam at the end of his sentence. 

“You do,” Castiel smiled. And, god, Dean's heart wrenched at the sight. Cas didn't smile, not often. “You always have.” 

Dean let out a shaky breath, leaning into Castiel's hand as it caressed his cheek. He sniffled slightly. “Cas, please…. Please promise me you'll stay. Even—Even if I push you away. You,” He was full-on crying now and Castiel was looking at him as if he was the most beautiful thing in the world. “You'll stay. No matter what.”

“I will.” Castiel whispered light as a feather. Two simple words but it was a promise that meant so much to Dean. 

It was a promise Castiel never intended to break. Why would he? Especially when Dean seemed so desperate. So distraught. He could never leave Dean. Not again. 

“Kiss me.” Dean whispered. Pleaded. He wanted to memorize everything about Cas. The strange body heat he gave off, the tilt of his head, how his lips pressed into a thin line when he was only minorly frustrated by Dean, the roughness of his stubble. Everything. 

For the first time, Dean saw a smirk grace Castiel's lips. “Whatever you want, Dean.” He brought their lips together with a sigh. 

They kissed for a while, pausing for breath in between kisses but they didn't go past that, ending up with Castiel in bed with Dean after he shed his trenchcoat, shoes, and tie. Dean dozed off, peaceful enough to fall asleep in Castiel's arms. 

Even with a fading grace, Castiel didn't sleep much. His body ran well enough on it that sleep wasn't needed. So he stayed up, playing with the hairs on Dean's neck as he watched over him, soothing him as much as possible when he sensed a nightmare coming on. 

“You think you're cursed sometimes Dean,” Castiel cooed on deaf ears but he didn't mind. He had to get it out. “That hate is the only thing that drives you. That you're not built for love. But you are. I think, sometimes—no, I know—that’s all you're made up of. And I–I promise we will find a better way,” Cas lifted his hand to Dean's shoulder, positioning it right above his scar. The scar he burned on his skin. “I love you, Dean.” He whispered into his ear.

For the rest of that night, Dean didn't have nightmares. For the rest of that night, he burrowed himself closer to Castiel. For the rest of that night, Michael was quiet.

[themoodyestj]

Hello, my beloved.

today i bring you a list of stuff you can try to not be so bitter and miserable all the time.

1. breath slowly, in and out, relax.

2. take a nap

3. eat a cookie

4. listen to some music

5. touch some grass

6. get laid ( if no one wants you, hands and a picture of Dee are valid too!)

7. hug your pet ( or a cactus if you don't have a pet)

8. practice acceptance (Dee is the Queen and you're never going to be her and Jensen is never going to fuck you)

9. find someone you actually like and admire, and fan over that person (not some guy you think is a mediocre actor and a pushover who can't stand for himself and needs idiots from the internet to defend him from his wife)

10. remember that i love you, and this is not hate, just constructive criticism because i want you to be better.

❤️ your secret admirer

Awww, my secret admirer again. :D Does that mean I'm getting flowers everyday now? So happy to see you, honey. Thanks for all the advice, I take them to heart. Although, sadly, I have to say I'm not as bitter or as miserable as you may want me to be. I do have a family, two cats and a dog, and a career. I do get laid quite often and im a fierce advocate of lone intimacy. Super healthy, I do it all. But also, I have an opinion. One that ruffles many many feathers, but in case you didnt notice, I don't quite care. But hey, if it feeds your delusion that all people who disagree with you are sad and lonely, by all means, stick to it. We dont want you having a psychotic breakdown, do we? Lets try to avoid that at all costs. I gotta say, number 8 sent me. We don't all have the same aspirations in life. Perhaps you'd like to sleep with Jensen (cause honey, the projection is strong here) and you use Dee as a heavy self insert, but I honestly dont want to. It is perfectly ok to like someone (and at the same time critique someone) and not want to sleep with them. I know, mindblowing, right? Such a complex concept, Im sure you find it hard to grasp. But just because its hard for you to understand, it doesnt make it less real. I bet a lot is really hard for you to understand, so...

Danneel being a queen? Of what exactly? Honey, I don't want to be her, I wanna be me. Should i aspire to be someone, it would be a woman who in fact has a flourishing career, and not someone whose assets are basically marrying someone. I'd aspire to be someone with talent, inteligence, gumption. Not someone who still rides on the small parts she played in the past because she knows there isnt much really going on for her. Someone who overpriced her pictures at Wales Con expecting to have a great reception only to find a very small line for her and feeling desperate enough to take pics with her kids insteadto feel relevant. You know, Id actually be less critic of her if she was more honest about herself. If she wasnt so fast to take jabs at her own husband when she herself has very little to offer. But hey, if thats your Queen... By all means. She definitely isnt mine. I dont think Jensen is mediocre. I think he let himself go a little. I think he was happier in SPN days and I miss that light, to be honest. Maybe ill see him improve in his next projects and ill be the first to applaud him for that (and ill post about it too, so stay tuned). As of lately... Ive seen a man who plans a concert with no AC, struggling to sing, I see a man who's tense next to his wife, I see a man who seems to be self medicating to cope and that worries me. I do hope he improves, I wish him no harm. But of course this doesnt help your delulu, so i know your brain will totally ommit what i just wrote. Ok, this is all the attention youre getting now. Im starting to think you do actually love me, cause this was fun! You delulus never fail in giving me a good hearted laugh! See you soon, secret admirer!

[aflo]

Not me being fandom hatecrimed and passive aggressively dog piled on THE fandumb website tumblr dot com by a dumb bitch with a cowboy url and an even dumber bitchass OP with Gigi Studio Ghibli Icon and even stupider tacky shitass tungle.hel pride badge that this self proclaimed "cunt" OP of a shitty tumblruniversitycore shit post willingly put on her blog to match and you two wanna act like you're the ones who better than me for daring to vague about Hazbin Hotel on tumblr dot com on a post that was already about some dumb fandumb discourse about a tungle.hell demon show and feeling safe enough to just tag what I was talking about because I thought that I could trust an even more basic bitch than anyone, not to try to be a fucked up little snobby bitch acting like they hold some kind of higher fandumb ground than anyone else on a post where that bitch OP with a fuckass anime icon is whining about apparently dragging her musty, crusty, ugly, greasy, McMemeShitPoster skinny Leah Michelle Gleeky (since you fave poor taste enough to actually like Supernatural That Much) Funny Tumblr Girly ass to a musty crusty Supernatural Convention that was probs just dashcon (because you know you be suckin' tumblrs whole blue veiny dick when you willingly put a tumblr badge on your blog cause you're that basic), to get willingly hatecrimed by your favorite Live Action Tumblr Blorbo TM, Mr. Jensen Fucking Under House Arrest Stubbed His Toe on Rusty Nail and Died Trying to Remove His Ankle Bracelets or Whatever...

Gurl I could never have taste that mediocre I'm sorry you ether don't eat, or don't eat anything but McDonald's cause you thought that meme was so funny.

And to think I wasn't gonna put this shit on my blog or try to add anything I just knew I was gonna get some nasty, hypocritical, passive aggressive tag typing, shitty memed up response to my addition because originally my only knee jerk response in my head when I saw this was "... Not the #Supernatural Discourse, though...Be kind to yourself.... Don't even lower yourself Sweetie ... Don't look, don't even look at them ... You know Hazbin already has a much sweeter, saner, queerer, kinder, safer fandom environment than the Death by Rusty Nail CW Show.... Just don't!"

But I did... And now I guess I can say for certain that Supernatural Fans TM are just as Mean Spirited and Crusty as their Infamous Shows ending! But It was probably like your entire personality for a while there so what more could I expect? :D

Like I'm sorry your own fandumb etiquette needs an oil can and you're obvi limegreen jelly because vivziepop fans have the power of Mara Wilson, Jinkxx Monsoon, Kesha Rose, John Waters, and probz soon Lady Gaga on our side and all you have is your anime cat icon from an overrated studio and that tacky ass tumblr badge while you forgot what it was like to have your fandom be everyone else's punching bag for a hot minute and you're feeling insecure and treating me like you must've been treated, just for adding to your post about an obnoxious experience with an actor in a tumblr fandom, sharing my own obnoxious experience with an actor in a tumblr fandom. which ultimately was a harmless thing for me to share on a post on the fandumb website that means nothing ...

But it turns out having a much happier fandom experience than yours is what I get when my shows have an actually queer show runner and a bunch of queer icons doing actual queer representation, and admittedly annoying and well meaning alleys that show actual passion about their projects like I'm sorry that your taste is so poor you actually wanted to fuck Dean Wince Emotionless or were queer baited by him or whatever but I'm different, and apparently, the only Actual Cunt on this post right now is me, being brave enough to have The Nerve.

So OP, the next time you feel so holier than thou to make fun of a person on tumblr dot com talking about their experience with a show about demons, while you're also talking about your experience with a show about demons, please consider closing out the Cringe Fandumb Website we're both using right now, touch your feet to the grass, and while you're on that grass, please touch your feet to the same exact rusty nail your Precious Ankle Fuckboy did and die. :D

And if you're too lazy to do that much, at least get your little cowgirl over yonder in the tags who mumbled at me for demon fandom discoursing on your post about demon fandom discourse, to have her little Striker Helluva Boss Moment and try and track me down and assassinate me for you by feeding me cookies with rusty nails in them. Since you'd apparently like me to disappear so badly. ;)

Because I think that's the only way to get me Shut The Fuck Up Hazbin Hotel Fan TM. Us Hazbin Hotel Fans aren't gonna be shutting fuck the up anytime soon. Not sorry. ;)

Also not sorry to break it to you OP, honey.... But you know being a Supernatural fan making fun of a Hazbin Hotel fan is like you're Toby McGuire Spider-Man and I'm Tom Hardy Venom over here, right?

Same Thing. Same Concept. Almost cut from the same cloth. Only my cloth is a little bit more high quality, a little more flashy, a little more fashionable, certainly more explicitly queer fashion, and again, just a little more comfortable to be in because it's made by people who actually have a heart, soul and passion to put into their work. Too bad the people cutting your cloth didn't have a heart and neither do you or your friends now . ;) ♥ X.O

😨

[callalillywrites]

An Accidental Eavesdropping - A Their Sweet Omega One-Shot

So, I was in a strong angst mindset when I wrote this. Poor Steve (and a little bit of Ransom, too) is an easier target for it, and he'll bear the brunt of the angst in this story. It's also a good glimpse into this AU and how the hierarchy is built between Alphas, Betas, and Omegas.

But yeah, I was in a certain mood, and this is the result. We'll see what our Alpha has in store next week from these events. (FYI: He's going to have some help, too.)

Catch up on this trio here.

Relationship: Alpha!Jake Jensen / Beta!Pre-serum Steve Rogers / Omega!Reader

Word Count: ~2150

Summary: Steve, like everyone, has certain insecurities. While he can usually work through them on his own, he's not quite prepared coming face-to-face with one of his worst fears when he overhears something he shouldn't.

Warnings: angst, insecure Steve, panic attack (Steve), stress-induced asthma attack (Steve), worried Omega and Jake, Bucky is the best of best friends, happier ending

A/N: It’s proofread but all mistakes are my own.

I do not give permission for my work to be copied or posted on other sites or fed into an AI machine.

*****

The day is a big one for Steve.

He’s completed his 1,000th commission.

It should be a time of great victory and achievement.

Yet, those feelings are overshadowed when Ransom of all people reaches out to Steve. Ransom doesn’t want to worry Omega, but he’s not doing so well. He’s been out with another potential pack when he overhears the omega telling her friends that Ransom is just a Beta. That Ransom will never be as important to a pack as either the omega or the alpha.

The rare show of vulnerability is something that Steve can understand and empathize with. He doesn’t have the feelings often, but it’s not like those insecurities go away, either, when you hear those same words often enough.

He’s grateful he has Omega and Jake. They really are the best, and he knows he’s lucky to have them in his life.

That is until he steps out of his art studio, and everything shifts on its axis for him.

He doesn’t realize that Omega is entertaining someone in the living room of their shared home. She has hired this other omega to help plan the surprise party for Steve and his accomplishment as she’s so proud of him. What she doesn’t realize is that this omega is the same one Ransom just went out with and said all those nasty things.

Well, that is until the party planning omega drops their professionalism and says, “This is something amazing you’re doing for your Beta. I mean, he’s just a beta. It’s not like his accomplishments could ever amount to the same as your Alpha. When it comes down to it, a beta is always the expendable one in a pack.”

Omega herself ends up repeating the words, which is what Steve overhears.

He doesn’t hear the inflection in her voice or see the way her entire being shifts into the most feral she’s ever been.

All he knows is that he’s hearing the last words he ever thought to hear out of her mouth. Right after doing his best to console her friend, Ransom, too.

It’s enough to have him backtracking to his studio and closing the bond between him and his Omega (and by extension, Jake). His thoughts are racing at the implications of what he’s heard, and he finds himself needing to get away. A small thread of panic is setting in, and he doesn’t want to make things worse by having Omega see him like this.

Grabbing up his phone, he sends a quick message to Bucky, begging to come over.

Bucky is quick to extend an invitation.

While this is going down, Omega has already tossed the other omega out of the house with a few choice words about their prejudice and treatment of betas. She makes it clear that she’ll never tolerate anyone saying anything disparaging about any betas, especially her sweet Stevie, in front of her.

After she’s gotten rid of the horrid omega, she heads towards Steve’s studio, needing to love on him and show him some appreciation. She wants to wipe that other omega’s words and thoughts out of her mind, and what’s better than loving on her sweetest Beta.

To her surprise, Steve brushes past her when she reaches his studio’s doorway. He says he’ll be back later, but he doesn’t give her any other information. There’s the fear that he’ll spill everything and cause a fight when he’s not sure he wants to fight. Yeah, he knows he should stay and talk it out with her, but he can’t make himself listen to her verify his worst fears.

Omega knows something’s off, especially when she can’t feel Steve through their bond. It worries her that he’s cut her off. She even goes so far to reach out to Jake and see if he can sense Steve. The fact he can’t either is enough to really worry her, but she’s not sure what to do to help or fix it without Steve letting her in.

Meanwhile, Steve is stumbling his way to Bucky’s place, nearly collapsing from his overexertion upon reaching Bucky’s front door.

Bucky lets him in and immediately sits him down. He’s always been Steve’s protector since they met in childhood. Seeing Steve upset is never a good thing, especially when he’s halfway between a rare panic attack and a stress-induced asthma attack.

“What’s going on, punk? What’s got you so worked up?”

Between heavy breaths, Steve manages to tell Bucky everything. His breathing doesn’t ever get easier, either, as he recounts his story. His stress doesn’t calm down, and he’s soon fighting to breathe. Tears are filling his eyes and spilling down his cheeks as he gives into the panic and the worry that’s darkening his mind.

Bucky listens to the tale, but he doesn’t believe it for a second.

He’s seen Steve’s omega and Jake enough times over the last several months. They’ve been nothing but supportive and encouraging of Steve. Bucky can’t honestly think of a better pack for Steve than those two. So, he knows something else is going on.

It takes him almost two hours to calm Steve down and get those horrid voices to shut off inside Steve’s mind.

The stress does induce an asthma attack, but Steve thankfully has an inhaler with him. It helps though he’s beyond exhausted at the end of it.

Because Steve loses focus during an episode, his bond renews itself with Omega and Jake during this time.

Both are quickly texting all their friends, trying to track him down. Their urgency would be reassuring if Steve was around to see it.

Bucky gets Steve comfortable in his guest room, promising to check on him soon.

It’s only after that he checks his phone and sees the worried messages from Steve’s Omega and Jake are the top ones on his lock screen.

He sends them both messages back, telling them Steve’s with him. In his message, he makes it clear they need to talk when they get there. He’s going to make sure they’re both aware of what’s happening. His promise to Steve be damned at that point. They deserve to know.

Omega arrives minutes before Jake does.

When she tries to rush to Steve’s side, Bucky stops her and pulls her into the living room.

There he asks, “Is there a reason why you would say Steve’s just a beta?”

That stops Omega in her tracks, but she quickly shakes her head.

“Steve isn’t a just anything,” she declares. “He’s everything to me as is Jake. Why are you asking me this?”

The question is barely out of her mouth when she realizes where Steve might’ve heard her say that. It makes her sick to her stomach that he overheard her and mistook her astonishment and mounting anger as something else entirely.

“Oh, if I ever get my hands on that other omega,” she seethes, then gives Bucky a rundown on the awful omega she hired to help plan Steve’s party. She doesn’t stop until she says, “No beta deserves to ever feel lower than an alpha or an omega. Betas are precious, especially Steve. I tossed them out like the trash they are.”

Jake’s arrived by this time and listens to Omega’s story. His hand is rubbing soothing strokes up and down her back. He’s just as angry as she is that there are those out there who would believe and say such things about anyone based on their designation. The thought does occur to track this omega down and mess with them and possibly their alpha for the trouble they’ve caused Steve.

Bucky drops the other bomb on them as he asks the omega’s name.

When Omega gives it to him, he sighs. “Angel, that’s the omega Steve told me said the same thing about Ransom to some of her friends. He wasn’t supposed to blab about it, but it all came out. Since Ransom’s your friend, I think you deserve to know as well.”

Well, that cinches it in Jake’s mind.

While he’s not that close with Ransom, he knows their Omega is (and Steve has made some strides in that department as well with Ransom). To hurt her best friend is not something Jake will tolerate. He doesn’t quite know what he’s going to do, but he’s going to do something and do it soon. To have that hatred also touch Steve is the icing on this anti-bullying cake he’s currently building.

If Omega wasn’t spitting mad before, she’s beyond livid now. Not only has this omega hurt her Beta, but they’ve gone a step further and hurt her best friend. She’s going to make this omega feel pain.

Feeling her anger through their bond, Jake presses a kiss to her cheek and says softly, “I’ll handle the omega, Angel. They won’t know what’s hitting them or their alpha until it’s too late. Right now, let’s check on Stevie. We should probably try to get him home.”

“You can stay here. No sense moving him until he’s a bit stronger,” Bucky says and motions towards the guest room. “In fact, I insist you three stay the night. It’ll be nice to have some decent company again.”

Neither of them needs further prodding before they’re making their way into the guest room of Bucky’s apartment. Omega quickly settles on one side of Steve, wrapping her arm around his waist while the other reaches up to play with his hair. Jake settles on the other side of Steve and mimics her motions, wanting the connection as much as she does.

They don’t leave his side until Bucky pulls them away with the simple but delicious meal he makes for them. Seeing Bucky doing his best to care for Steve and Steve’s pack has Omega wishing Bucky had the same for himself. She knows he’s a good alpha and deserves to have his own omega and beta to spoil.

Steve doesn’t wake up for several hours.

When he does, he’s a bit disoriented and more than a little embarrassed at himself for doing this to himself. He’s more so because Bucky had to take care of him while his Omega and Jake worried about him. He doesn’t like making them worry about him.

Omega is the first to speak, rushing to apologize for ever making him think she would ever say or believe something so awful. “Stevie, I love you so much. I would never. Please, believe that if nothing else.”

“I do, Angel,” he says, his voice rough with emotion and sleep. “I usually do. I don’t know why I let my insecurities get to me. They’re not your fault. I should’ve talked to you, but I couldn’t. They were screaming at me, you know?”

“We do,” Jake says this time. “I think we all have those nasty voices that can get the best of us at times. But you can’t cut us off, Steve. Let us in and let us help, okay? That’s all we can ask, right, Angel?”

Omega nods at that.

“When you’re feeling better, we’ll show you how much we cherish you. You are our Beta, now and forever. Our pack doesn’t work without you.”

Bucky soon brings them extra clothes to sleep in and settles them all for the night. He leaves them to it from there, happy to see them fixing things back to where they should be.

It’s another day before Steve is well enough to return home where he’s spoiled rotten over the next few days by both Jake and Omega. They make sure he knows just how much he means to them, erasing those awful thoughts from his mind for a good long while.

Over the weekend, Omega goes ahead with the surprise party they have planned for Steve, knowing it’ll also help boost his confidence again.

All their friends show up at the gallery Jake managed to rent where Omega and some friends have hung up some of Steve’s best pieces for them to admire. They even gain a few party crashers who come in to enjoy his pieces as well, taking his business cards with them for future commissions.

The pinnacle of the party is the cake Omega’s ordered from their favorite bakery. It’s a similar cake to the one Steve helped her create for Jake’s promotion. Instead of a gold trophy though, it’s a blue that matches Steve’s eyes. The lettering spells out his tremendous achievement, but it’s the “Congrats to the Best Beta Ever” underneath that really cinches it for Steve.

He’s never felt more loved and seen than in that moment as they celebrate him.

When they get home that night, Omega and Jake make sure Steve continues to feel that love as they make good on their promise of cherishing him until they’ve ruined him for anyone else.

*****

Main Masterlist

Tag List: @thezombieprostitute

[littlebeelife]

Daily J2 Breakdown

Day 46

Tom Welling to Jared and Jensen: "You guys, the show is you guys together.”

Smallville @ 20: Tom Welling Opens Up About Nixed Season 1 Suit-Up, Batman Ban and Our 'Best CW Show' Tourney

By Matt Webb Mitovich / October 17 2021, 7:30 AM PDT

As Smallville marks a full 20 years since its premiere, Tom Welling says that he now is in a “much happier” place when it comes to his relationship with the superhero origin series.

Having struggled back in the day with his responsibility as the lead of the popular WB-turned-CW series (and the demands put on him), “As time goes on, I am enjoying Smallville more,” Welling shared in a new TVLine Q&A pegged to this Tuesday’s release of Smallville: The Complete Series on Blu-ray for the first time ever. “I wish I could go back [to my 2001 self] and just say, ‘Take a beat, and appreciate this.'”

In the interview below, Welling also revisits the not-so-super limitations Smallville contended with at the time, reflects on how the series set an example for the eventual Arrowverse, and he has a thing or two to say about how TVLine’s “Best CW Show Ever” tournament played out.

TVLINE | I don’t know if you’ve heard, but TVLine recently conducted a bracket tournament to determine “The Best CW Show Ever”….

I didn’t get the invite.

TVLINE | Readers chose 32 shows to send into a bracket tournament, and Smallville beat One Tree Hill to get into the Final Four—

Thank God.

TVLINE | In the Final Four, Supernatural beat Arrow, and Smallville beat Vampire Diaries.

F–k yeah.

TVLINE | The final was then Supernatural against Smallville. There was lots of drama, lots of voting, and…. Supernatural won, 77 percent to 23 percent.

Yeah, I can kind of…. Unfortunately, I can kind of see that. Is it because it lasted longer?

TVLINE | Could be. You guys had a good run, though — 10 years versus 15.

Yeah. I mean, we were more watchable. [Laughs] No, I love those guys, they’re buddies of mine. I like the way that [tournament] trickled down, though. It made a lot of sense. Especially with, like, [Smallville against] One Tree Hill and Vampire Diaries? Like, come on.

TVLINE | When Supernatural rolled around, did you get a sense that it was going to have some legs?

You know what, I did — probably more than I did about Smallville, to be honest. Because with Smallville, I was in it. I was trying to tread water every minute, every day, trying to keep it going. Nobody tells you that you’re going to be successful, even when you are successful. No one tells you that you’re going to be there for a long period of time, but knowing Jared [Padalecki] and Jensen [Ackles] and then watching Supernatural, from the outset I could see where the two of them made that show. And there was a point in that show where they started separating, and I was like, “You guys, the show is you guys together.” Like, that’s what it is.

It was obviously a different show than Smallville, but you’re right, when I saw Supernatural, I was like, this show’s going to work. I could never look at Smallville that way, only because maybe I didn’t want to let myself feel that way, perhaps. I didn’t want to, like, get comfortable.

-

The whole interview can be found here.

[canonicallysoulmates]

Another year has come and gone, and y’all know what that means, it’s time to look back at some of the j2 moments 2022 has given us. 

We start the year with the boys excited at the opportunity to work together again, with Jensen set to join Jared on the Walker set to direct an episode! When asked about it during Dallascon in February Jared said that he couldn’t wait, and that the most exciting part for him was going to be getting to introduce a lot of the cast and crew to one of the people who helped him grow up and helped him learn how to do what he does, and that he would be showing Jensen off on set. And show him off he did! But let's not get ahead of ourselves...

March and April were packed with j2 goodies from the Walker set!

We got the boys in matching shirts ❤️:

Some social media husbandness:

"You can direct me any time" We know, Jared. We know 😏

The cute fun of Jared getting Jensen a different chair back for each day he was there directing:

When asked what it had been like to work together again the boys were sweet and sentimental answering, that it was like they never stopped.

And Jensen saying about his shorthand with Jared that: "There’s nobody else I can do that with. He and I have that, and we’ll always have that. That’s not something that fades away."

Y'all know I'm not gonna forget to mention that Jared gave the cast and crew a whole speech, on Jensen's birthday, telling them about how important Jensen has been in his life! 💕 

March also gave us not one but two public date nights! One to a UFC fight:

And the second when Jensen took Jared to The Boys EW party!

Before we continue I feel like I'd be remiss to not take a second to mention that April ended on a scare because Jared did have a bad car accident which we found out about through Jensen, who is the person Jared gave permission to reveal the news. So, let's take a second to be thankful for our boy's health and well being🙏

Continuing on to happier things, and the rest of the year....

We got matching husbands at the CW Upfronts:

So handsome 😍

We love a supportive hubby:

In Jared’s third appearance on Rosenbaum's podcast he gushed about Jensen saying the most beautiful stuff like:

About introducing Jensen to the Walker cast and crew:

Making it clear that he loves and belives in Jensen:

And these are just snippets, this man gushed about Jensen several times, and for like 5mins and he would have done it for longer if Rosenbaum hadn't stopped him.

During the gold panel of Orlcon Jared was struggling with the heat so Jensen got him a fan for the main panel:

He's always taking care of his boy 🥰

He also had some lovely things to say about Jared producing his own show post-spn, saying that he doesn’t know many people in their profession personally that is more well equipped than Jared to do that job and he’s doing it now with grace and dignity and talent and success.

During Torcon Jared was all emotional, and he even cried, and at one point somebody in the crowd shouted at Jared to not start crying again so Jensen jumped to his defense saying he could cry if he wanted to.

Because of work Jared was not able to join Jensen at JIB but distance is not gonna stop these two and we still got some lovely moments like how Jared described Jensen: Jensen’s loyal, strong, and kind like a lab. He’s not as boisterous but he’s down for anything and he can do anything. He’s always up to work hard, he’s a loyal friend, a loyal family member. So he’d be like a lab you can count on him, he’s always gonna be there for you. 💕

And Jensen saying that Jared completes him 💞

Which he tries to play off and acts all bashful about yet a minute earlier he was talking about Jared's farts saying how he doesn't miss them and then going “maybe a little bit”. Its been months and I still haven't been able to process this because do you know how much you have to love someone to miss their farts? This is both cute and gross.

September gave us date night!

x

There was this soft moment during Kansascon:

Jensen shared that he has told the story of how he and Jared met on the Big Sky set 🥺

This is not really a hat thing but I'm really proud of them for this so I'm taking a second to include it, they got honored by the former mayor of Lawrence, Kansas! They were presented with a proclamation that Lawrence, Kansas is the official hometown of Sam and Dean Winchester, and they even got license plates with Jared’s saying Lil Bro and Jensen’s saying Baby.

Jared got sick with covid, again, so he was not able to attend Vancon but Jensen was thinking of his boy 😭:

During Phoenixcon we got a glimpse as to how they handle their currently long distance relationship with the boys answer basically boiling down to them being used to having to be away from loved ones and having to go long stretches without seeing someone they hold so dear but when they are together they are present in the moment.

We end the year with flirting, heart eyes, fondness, the boys making each other laugh and this:

Btw, this was Jared's reaction to a fan saying that men who choose Ryan Gosling - which Jensen did - tend to be more romantic.

We also got the reminder that Jared and Jensen share underwear😏

And that my friends are some of the j2 moments 2022 gave us!

Much like years prior, I hope this post acts as a little beacon of positivity and a reminder of the love that these two men continue to share. May 2023 gift us with even more wonderful moments💌

Happy New Years! 🥂

[lightofraye]

I’ve had a number of followers ask me, more than once, if Jensen was so miserable in his marriage, why does he stay?

I usually respond that there are many variables that we just don’t know. It may be Danneel is using the children to hold him hostage, as many an abuser have been known to use children to manipulate their victims. (And if no children, pets are also used.)

It could be too costly. I have no idea if they have a prenuptial agreement in place (I hope he does but I doubt it…)

He may be waiting to establish residency in Connecticut as the state law requires being established for a year before allowing a divorce filing. We know that’s approaching soon.

He may just be resigned to it. Just because a couple stays together does not mean—in any shape or form—that they’re happy. Trust me, folks, staying together is not proof of being happy.

He may be waiting for the kids to be grown up. That’s a mistake many a couple make—children are incredibly perceptive and can tell when their parents aren’t happy or in love.

They may already be informally separated (meaning no legal filing of separation on file). Certainly the ice cream story sounds heavily like a father who was seeing his kids on visitation.

Then I came across this Buzzfeed article where they quoted some comments from Reddit. The Reddit topic was about insights in their unhappy marriage. The whole article and Reddit post are absolutely worth reading, but several caught my eye and I wanted to publicly share.

This one is tragic: “I am stuck in my marriage because he is blackmailing me saying he will reveal my past to family and relatives. If I argue, he becomes violent. I don’t want to be with him, but there is no one to help.”

Or this one: “Depending on your personality type, you can tend just to resign yourself to things over time. I am in a marriage where we feel more like friends than anything. Our strengths/weaknesses don’t really complement each other. I also somehow end up doing a solid 85%-90% of the work around here (I am in charge of finances, I take care of the dogs, I’m the one who knows how to fix things around the house, and be the one who would take the time to hire the right person to do it when it’s beyond me). I admit I resent it sometimes. But over the years, I don’t really bring it up anymore. I’ve just gotten… used to it.”

This one breaks my heart: “I am so ready to leave, but taking that first step feels so hard. Just finally sitting down and saying the 18 months of therapy and ‘work’ haven’t been working. I dislike the person he has become, and I see no future with him. It’s really the fear of the unknown that keeps me here. I keep reminding myself that I know ZERO divorced people who said they wish they hadn’t divorced, and most say they just wish they hadn’t waited so long. My kids are young enough that they won’t remember, and there is a long road to go on for new, better, happier memories to be made. It’s just finally saying I want to divorce, and I just can’t get it to come out of my mouth.”

And this one: “I work for a guy that has been married 60 years. He said he works 60 hours a week so he doesn’t have to be home with his wife.”*

*This one sounds familiar, no?

It’s never easy. Period. Abused or not, it’s never easy.

[misschanadlerbong]

Chapter 9 - Vous ne Cesserez Jamais de me Surprendre

A/N: If you guys know French then ofc you would know what the title means and if you don't then read to find out :)) (moreover, this is my first attempt to write something close to smut so please be generous ^^)

Warnings: smut-ish

Pairing: Clay Jensen x Reader

Genre: Lime Smut, nothing explicit

Word Count: 1.7k

<;Previous | Next>

Clay on hearing the door creak immediately turned his attention towards your ears breaking the kiss and said, “So you got your ear pierced recently?”

You were so confused but understood what Clay was trying to do.

“Yeah, how are they?”

“Pretty,” Clay answered.

Both of you turned your attention to the door and saw Clay’s mom standing in suspicion. But she let it go and informed Clay that she and Clay’s dad would be heading outside for their dinner date.

“Honey, do you need me to make you anything for dinner,” she asked.

“No, mom don’t worry. She brought some drinks along with her when she came, and we got the pizza money. Enjoy your date.”

“Aren’t you generous,” said Clay’s mom looking at you.

You smiled back and she left the room and this time she shut the door completely maybe intentionally, unintentionally, who knows?

“Smooth Jensen!”

You grabbed Clay’s t-shirt by his collar and straddled his waist and started kissing him more passionately. Clay broke the kiss and said, “Wait, I don’t see Zach anywhere nearby. Why are we kissing again?”

You gave him a cold yet innocent stare and whispered in his ears “I have been meaning to kiss you for a long time now Jensen, Zach was just an excuse.”

His eyes had a spark it felt like nothing more could make him happier. He eagerly started kissing you. Your lips traced his perfectly built jaw, and his hands gripped your waist tightly. You could feel his arousal under you. He broke from the kiss and asked running out of breath “Is... uh this okay?” You nodded and he gestured towards the bed.

He took his shirt off while you positioned yourself on the bed. He climbed onto you and asked again “Is this okay, Y/N?”

“Yeah...!” you whispered.

He pulled the hem of your shirt and looked into your eyes for consent, you nodded and let him take the shirt off.

There you were lying under Clay Jensen almost naked. As he took your t-shirt off, he gleamed as he saw you and exclaimed “You’re so beautiful Y/N.”

His calling you beautiful in his husky voice hit a different nerve. While he was glancing at your body your eyes met, and you looked at those ocean-blue eyes and wanted to sink deeper and deeper into them.

Clay was going down on you, and you held onto his arms to stop him and asked “Clay, do you um… have a condom?”

Clay panicked as he did not have any and you asked him to grab your backpack and check in the back pocket. He finally found it and climbed back onto the bed, “These days you just don’t know right? You have to be prepared for everything,” you chuckled softly to fill in the awkward silence while he was struggling to open it.

He rested each of his hands beside your waist and positioned himself over you. Asking “Is this, okay?”

You grabbed the back of his neck to pull him closer and gave him a deep kiss. “This is perfect Clay.” You reassured.

 As he thrusted in you, you let out a minor groan in pain.

“Hey, did that hurt? We can stop anytime you want to. As we can stop right now, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Yeah, that kinda hurt. But I don’t want you to stop. Can you uh…hold my hands, please?”

He held your hands passionately. It did hurt for the first couple of minutes but eventually, you both felt nothing but pleasure. He held your hands as if he will never let go of you, and hid his face in the crook of your neck while he thrusted in.

You found it hard to believe that you were feeling vulnerable, but you enjoyed this vulnerability because deep down you knew that Clay would never hurt you.

Clay lied beside you on the bed and you put your hand against his cheek and whispered, “Thank you, Clay.”

“Thank You!”

He seemed concerned and asked, “By the way did you finish?” He was so considerate about satisfying you. You loved it.

You smiled and replied “No Clay, I didn’t. It was my first time what do you expect? But did you?”

“Yeah, but wait this was your first time?” He asked raising his volume a little.

“Yeah, why? You seem surprised…”

“Didn’t you like to date, Zach?”

“Yes, I dated Zach. I wasn’t on a sex contract with him. Yeah, I have been to the second base but never had sex. And you probably think I am slut. Wow.” You sighed in disbelief “Okay, this makes everything much less awkward. I think I am gonna go.”

As you raised to get out of bed Clay pulled your hand and said “No, Y/N. I don’t think any of that. Trust me, I was just a little insecure, but now I realize that talking about exes in bed, is not a great idea.”

You giggled at his innocence and lied back to him.

“I am just glad that I am your first and you’re my first.”

“No way in freaking hell! Clay that was your first time?” you exclaimed.

“Uh… now why do you seem surprised”?

“Oh. My. God. Wow. I have heard that it’s not that long the first time.”

“Yeah, I’ve been practicing,” said Clay awkwardly.

“Vous ne cesserez jamais de me surprendre”

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“Well, someone’s missing his French classes, It means you never cease to amaze me, Clay.”

You ran your fingers in his dark brown locks and he said “I always wanted you, like not only for sex you know, like to be with you and hang out with you. But you were always busy looking at other guys, so I had to shut my feelings down.”

“I don’t know Clay; it has been, so easy with others. But with you, I feel vulnerable. I had all these insecurities that you will judge me, or you’ll just want to be with me because” you rolled your eyes “well, because I am hot, and you would only want from me what other guys want. I was always worried about various other things. That is why I never asked you out.”

Clay kissed the top of your head and brought you closer to hug you. Clay made you feel safe and loved at the same time. It was for the first time that you were experiencing these emotions but you felt good, sometimes it is just easier to bring your walls downs and let people in and Clay was just the person to do that for.

“Y/N I would have never judged you or anything. I always wanted to be your boyfriend. I mean no pressure; you don’t have to be my girlfriend or anything. We can keep this completely casual and keep having sex, wait that sounds wrong I didn’t mean it that way…”

You chuckled at his innocence and cut him off “Stop talking Clay, you’re not making this any better and for the record, I would love to be your girlfriend.”

You both cuddled for a while until you drifted off to sleep as you had a pretty long day. You woke up suddenly and panicked, your phone suggested that you were extremely late. You had a mother waiting for you to come home under the curfew timings. You got up putting your pants on. Clay was still in his sleeping mode “Hey, stay a little longer, please.”

“I wish I could Clay, but I have to go. I got a mother whose orders I have to respect.”

You gave a quick peck on Clay’s lips telling him bye and he pulled you back and gave you yet another peck. You couldn’t help but blush.

“You know what, as you always wanted you can borrow my hoodie.” Offered Clay.

You grabbed one of his maroon hoodies “Thank you so much Hoodie!”

As you walked out of the door you heard Clay’s parents coming into their house from their date and you certainly didn’t want your first impression as Clay’s girlfriend to be sneaking out at this hour of the night when your sole purpose was to study. You went into his room again “We have a problem.” You announced.

Clay got out of bed and started thinking of a plan to get you out without being noticed. As you both were thinking your eyes pondered upon the window of his room and then you looked at Clay.

“No no no no no, do not even think about it. That’s a bad idea. You can get hurt and I do not want that, there has to be a better way, let me think.”

“Oh, come on Clay. How high can this be? I can easily do it.” You questioned what you just said inside your mind, but you had to be at home in time and there wasn’t much left. “See Clay, I have to reach home in time otherwise my mum will ground me. Trust me I can do it. You just go downstairs and make sure none of your parents are in the backyard and none of them sees me jump or fall and yes please take care of my jacket it is my favorite one.”

“Okay…” you could hear the skepticism in his voice. He pulled you and kissed you “Okay.” Said his husky voice. His husky voice always got to you, and it seemed so sexy at that time, but you did not have time for this. You opened the window and made your way to the roof figuring out a way to jump in a way to get the least hurt.

Meanwhile, Clay was downstairs distracting his parents, you finally jumped though the landing wasn’t so smooth, you were alive and in one piece. Clay peeped through the window as you waved at him and he watched you go away. It was a hell of an experience, you always wanted to sneak out of your house like that someday but how does it matter if it was your boyfriend’s house or yours? On your way back home, you smiled like a freak, but you couldn’t help. Being a hopelessly romantic rom-com girl, you realized that your experience was nothing like movies. It was better because it was real.

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