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#and just pray i feel better tomorrow
moeblob · 1 year
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(inhales) I'm so sorry I love Schwarz von Lichtenstein Loengram. He's my son now and I'm terribly sorry but I love him so, so much.
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arttheclown · 1 year
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me preparing to finish scream 5 after weeks of putting it off
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julesnichols · 10 months
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Attempting to queue a text to send when it is not 1:30 AM versus my messaging app being a fucking dick and just sending it <<<<<
#about me#praying the person has their phone on dnd and they won't see it till morning#if they do not respond by the time i'm at least half alive i will send a followup#and just lie like yeah haha it was 9 pm when i thought to text again so i queued it for around 1:30 tomorrow but guess. i didn't check that#it was pm and not am :') sorry about that will make sure to pay more attention#bc like. it's someone where they're offering to help me job search#so i am Trying to appear at least semi normal and be respectful etc etc#anyways fuck my messaging app and fuck whoever decided not being able to take texts back was a good idea#these tags are a cry for help btw if anyone has better suggestions. i just feel like#it comes off better if it seems like an oops i was a lil careless and didn't check the timing thing versus#a well i tried to queue this to appear normal and be respectful however my phone fucked up and just sent it thing#ugh idk anyways#i've been out of work a fucking year and i'm desperate so i cannot#afford to be unprofessional in any way :')#not when i've already hit so many networking deadends bc the job market's in shambles#it's going GREAT lmao#every day i get closer and closer to using my state's services to get disabled ppl a job#however there are two reasons i have not#reason one is they dropped me after hs bc they disagreed with me deciding to go to college#which fuck them it was my choice#reason two being they mostly place shit dead end retail jobs#and while i genuinely do like retail#my body physically cannot handle it anymore#however bc nobody will diagnose what is wrong with me/my legs#i cannot get an accom to sit#so y'know. going great!!!
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#i was supposed to spend the last 2 days prepping and relaxing for the start of this big project tomorrow#but ive spent thr last 2 days frantically coding as fast as i could and focusing v hard to get a lot of bullshit done#and ive fixed things since yesterday. the changes i had to make were too too bad bc the thing that went wrong was so fucking weird#but it should be okay by tomorrow. knock on wood. but this does mean ive done fuck all to prep for tomorrow#so we r winging it bby. ugh. just gotta fucking pray that everything goes ok. pls let nothing b broken and let everything seal properly 🙏#i was also supposed to meet with my boss today. probably for her to make sure i dont fuck up this project but apparently their safety hood#was having an emergency... whatever that means. so im sure shes having a week as well. and im free to fuck everything up for everyone#ugh. im so. theres a certain point in burning out where youre not really in pain anymore. you dont really feel anything all your joy and#hope dissolves away and u just exist to be useful. and i feel like its easier to maintain that than trying to b happy#i do not advise that bc its a fucking miserable. wasteful way to live but i dont really have time to try for anything better#god. i really hope my measurements friday dont take a full 8hrs. i dont know if i can handle that. literally i would have stay intensely#focused with my brain being Interrupted every 5min so i can manually record data points. its gonna b agony#so that fun. but maybe it wont. maybe itll be great and fun and ill have a wonderful time. seems unlikely but ya never kno#lets not think abt the fact that having to rush all this is preventing me from being able to do all thr other bullshit i need to get done#to prepare for the future. future? what future? hard to imagine from the bottom of this pit im digging myself#sigh. in a few months i can leave this place and never come back. soon but not soon enough#lol i was literally crying listening to cold play earlier bc idk thats the type of music my parents would put on at parties in summertime#so it evokes a v specific mood. which is i guess me hiding away from ppl at parties haha#back when i didnt have to worry abt things so much and i could just listen to the frogs chirping and watch the fireflies#oh god. now my boss is asking if i reached out for help tomorrow. no. lady i would rather drink bleach than have to direct an undergrad#tomorrow. its 10pm im fucking tired. just let me be sad. did i reach our for help? no my brain is on fire#tomorrow is gonna b a long day ugh#unrelated
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bluesidedown · 1 year
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why did i have to get sick Now when we are going to be like the most short staffed we’ve ever been 😭 like this is the week of work i want to miss the Least
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ienvieu · 1 year
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the irony that is me loving my parents and still them being the two people i am the least honest to and feel the least safe with my secrets
#today was shit#i pray that tomorrow is better#he knows. he understands. he makes me forget. he probably doesnt even know how seen i feel and how much of a breath of air he is to me#he makes me forget when he's nearby even when he's doing nothing and i feel so so safe that he knows#and he's so kind and is so warm-hearted#he is so tender inside and i have seen him cry more than a few times because of things i dont want to mention#and he doesnt push even when he addresses the elephant in the room and i never feel judged#and i only see him thrice a year for a week each time#and those weeks are the highlights of my year#so bizarre how i feel more cared for by someone i barely see rather than the people who raised me#relapsed awfully aggressively when i was months clean and i feel horrible i kept praying for forgiveness. i feel disgusting#mom would it have killed you to just help me#it's been four hours ever since and since then i was distracted by things i had to do but now#then i had to hang the laundry and not having any distractions and being left with my own thoughts made me spiral again#good lord#i just#i wonder if everyone else feels like dying every day like me. she always says that she struggled too and that she stayed up late manytimes#and i know she had it difficult too but our lives have been so different that our childhoods simply can never be compared and i want to#scream and destroy everything but i cant so i can only destroy my own body and im so helpless idk what to do#tw: mental health#i feel so spiteful and i want to show her everything and scream that she did this to me and that it's all her fault#but i love her too much to hurt her like that. it would kill her.#and ig it's all my fault for being a horrible being and for being a failure and turning out ill like this. i just dont know anymore#i think i had an episode of psychotic rage again. everywhere hurts but i still cant get the ugly feeling in me go away
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we finished the twinning last night and oof. Ooof ffxiv really can just hurt like that huh
#the people of the future putting the trust in those in the past#putting their trust in G’raha to see them to a new future even knowing theirs was doomed#and if that him and the warrior of light succeeded that they would be doomed#they would ceases to exist save for in the memories of G’raha#I! wanna! talk! about! G’raha! having! see! the! terrible! future!#he saw the world rip itself apart still ages and ages after the worst of the conflict was gone#it was still Terrible mind you but he saw the world at it’s utter worst#with no hope of someone like the warrior of light saving them bc even this conflict had claimed their life#but still! he worked with these people and hoped and prayed for a better tomorrow#worked to make a better tomorrow by saving those of the past#god the way he had to have stomached the grief and loss of the warrior of light and still carried on#even feeling as if this conflict was beyond him to save. that this was a job for one of his heroes of old#he carried on. he took the grief and turned it into a driving force to save the future#it’s so interesting to think of how the exarch grew from those roots#and the community he built makes sense in that#more than that he built an oasis for people he created this community#just….seeing how much the crystarium is a reflection and extension of G’raha as a person and as a leader is so narratively fun#and the symbolism and weight of that#something something about comparing that to Eulmore or even stretching that to thinking about amarout#Owen plays ffxiv#owen ffxiv spoilers
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poptartmochi · 2 years
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a small + v roughly staged gioier dump! I finally went back and made her normal? pre-death? appearance hehe 😈 i think she looks very Lord Farquad White meme but it’s okay because her hair is so fucking cool, i love this hair! :3 I saw it and was like ohhh. this is either going to fuck really hard or it won’t fit her head correctly and i’ll go insane </3 but luckily for me it fits her sooo well <3 it’s exactly what I had in mind for her when I was making her :D
the second row is moreso for photos where she looks very 😐😶 tbhcore imo.. they are just really funny photos to me. gioia stares indecipherably into the distance asmr. i don’t know what the emotion in her expressions are but man i’ve felt them before lol!
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thursdayg1rl · 2 months
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feel rlly bad for not fasting today
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remmoran-kynvahl · 5 months
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Why can’t i catch a break.
Why is my luck so shit?
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dragonairice · 8 months
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Ignore the tags this is a vent post. I just need to get this out somewhere that's not private
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rafeandonlyrafe · 1 month
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twinkle twinkle little star
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words: 700
warnings: 18+ only, smut, dom/sub undertones, fluffy <3, reader is called kid and stupid, clit rubbing
“rafeyyy.” you whine, squirming underneath the thin blanket covering the two of your bodies.
“baby.” rafe grunts out, his voice deep with what he wishes was sleep. “go to bed.”
“i can't! im trying really!” you complain. 
rafe sighs, tugging you closer, back into his grip that you wiggled away from trying to find a comfortable position.
“just close your eyes, kid.” 
you try. you really do. you shut your eyes, pray for your body to relax, but to no avail as you squirm again, causing rafe to sigh.
“alright. hold on.” he moves, sitting himself up against the headboards, arms open as you crawl into his lap, letting him cradle you in his big arms.
“this better you big baby?” he coos, rocking you softly from side to side, letting out a small groan as your bum moves against his lap.
“mhm.” you nod, resting your head against rafes chest. you close your eyes, sleep is so close, but yet when rafe tries to move you back so he can lay down, your eyes blink open.
“fuck, you're still not asleep?” rafe groans.
“im sorry!” you whine. “im trying, really. just can’t.”
“alright, shit.” rafe moves your body for you, laying your head into the crook between his chest and shoulder, arm caging your body close.
his free hand moves to your chest, massaging your tits through your silk nightgown.
you let out a low moan, eyes fluttering closed as rafe switches back and forth between your breasts, rubbing and massaging them gently enough to allow it to be relaxing instead of just turning you on.
“stupid baby, didn't even realize she couldn't sleep just because she was horny.” rafe coos, pressing a kiss to your forehead. your eyelashes flutter open, looking up at rafe.
“it's okay, kiddo.” he says. “im gonna take care of you.”
his hand moves lower to dive between your thighs, smirking to himself when he feels your flimsy underwear. he has a habit of ripping them off whenever he wants access to you, so you've given up on buying high quality material just for it to be destroyed.
“gonna rub your little cunnie for you, mkay?” rafe makes sure you nod.
his finger strokes over your underwear, right through your center. you try not to squirm around, opening your legs up slightly to give rafe more access. he presses a kiss to your head when you spread your thighs, muttering out a quiet affirmation.
“thats my good girl.”
“i-”
“shh.” rafe pets his finger over your clit before dipping lower, feeling how the wet spot has formed on your underwear.
rafe pushes your underwear to the side, unable to restrict himself any longer from feeling your bare skin. he lets out a hum of approval as he moves his fingertip through your slick.
he continues to hum, soft familiar melodies. rafe is no singer, but if he was he'd be cooing you gentle lullabies as he continues to gently rock you, two fingers now gliding through your folds.
“ohhh, thats it.” rafe hums as your eyes close, unable to keep them open any longer. you're sure to be out as soon as his fingers bring you to orgasm.
he moves up to your clit, wanting to get you off quickly so he can get to sleep himself.
“big day tomorrow, bunny.” he presses more kisses to your forehead and hairline. “gonna take you shopping.”
if this was the first you'd heard of the news, you'd certainly be wide awake and excited, but rafe has been promising you a whole day just the two of you for a while now. shopping, dinner, walk on the beach, anything you decide.
“mmm love you.” you whisper as rafe rubs his two fingers over your clit, your thighs squeezing in closer to his hand as your high builds.
“love you too baby. cum for me then we can get some sleep, yeah?” rafe resumes his humming with twinkle twinkle little star.
you let out soft mewls and moans that are the perfect accompaniment to his song, rafe playing you like an instrument with his fingers on your clit.
you don't need to tell him that you're close, you're certain he knows from the rush of wetness, the way your clit pulses as he rubs faster until your entire body stiffens, then your back arches as you let out a moan.
rafe rubs you through your orgasm until you slump in his arms, high replaced by pure exhaustion, falling asleep before rafe even lays you back down.
“mmm, that's my girl.” rafe kisses your head once more as he readjusts you in bed, eyes sliding closed now that you're content and asleep in his arms.
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dex0s · 4 months
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—♡DOUMA X MALE READER WARNING: smut, non-con, cannibalism?, douma, reader having a huge chest, thoracic area called boobs/tits, daddy kink, face sitting, breeding kink, semi-public?, incest?, cliffhanger ending (only because I’m lazy), not proof read
A/N— okay I know I was gone for like 2 months but um— yeah
You were a member of his cult and your older sister got sick to the point she had to stay in bed instead of praying to your demon lord. For the past couple days you had been asking your lord to heal your sister. And at first DOUMA was uninterested or just ignored you but then he got a full look at you. (H/c) hair, beautiful bright (e/c) eyes, nice face, well shaped body, and lastly YOUR CHEST. Oh and how he was so in love.
“Oh look a new play thing. Just. For. Me~ and ONLY me~”
After that you notice changes. One, Douma would ONLY look at you if you in the room but the moment you leave his face becomes disinterested (even if he doesn’t have emotions he feels like his life just decrease by a life time). Two, you ALWAYS feel like you’re being watched no matter what you doing or where you are, there are always RAINBOW EYES watching. And three, when you go and pray to your lord you can notice the lust in his eyes like a predator eyeing their next meal.
“I can’t believe I haven’t noticed you sooner… I wonder if that man will let me keep you~ who know maybe I will quit bugging him~”
Knowing damn well that man can hear him
One time you went to douma and asked for his blessing so your sister could get better and by pure coincidence your sister gotten better and could move around better then before. You thanked douma for the blessing but even tho it was a complete coincidence douma wanted more than just a thanks. He gave you his blessing and healed your sister. He wants more and he will get want he wants whether you want it or not .
HaAh~ Oh you tastes Sooo~ good~ Your so good—Fuck! for daddy~
Grinding your hips into the pillow while Douma is thrusting in and out your ass. “Ahh~ you look like dog when you do that~” Douma said, moving his hand up your body and stopping at your chest. “W-wait~AH!” Slamming his cock back in he starts to grope your chest. “Hmm! What a— good boy you are, so good— for daddy” you start to feel yourself about to release and you try to warn your lord but all that came out was babbles. Douma seem to notice this and started to go even harder on you hearing your gummy walls take him in and out and all the noise you were making made him even more hard then white sticky cum came out your dick but that didn’t stop Douma in fact he decided to switch it up a lot bit.
He lifts you over his face, your legs are shaking then slams you down on his face. Taking his long slimy tongue starting with kitty licks, suddenly roughly gripping your thighs and full on eating your ass like there’s no tomorrow. When the door opens (you didn’t even notice at first) it reveals your sister. Your sister was in shock, she didn’t know you had a side like this. Hearing your moans and the licks your sister can feel a wet spot in her undergarment. While your sister was standing there Douma could smell her wetness and started to get upset.
“Why is she here.”
“She needs to leave can’t she see I’m playing with my plaything.”
“It’s her fault he’s in this situation”
“She shouldn’t be so selfish and get sick”
“You know what… It’s show time”
Taking out his tongue from your ass, he moves you to his lap. Picking you up with your legs wrapped around his waist Douma starts to walk to your sister. “You know it’s rude to stare” using one of his free hands and roughly grabbing your sister’s chin forcing her to look at his rainbow eyes. “W-what are you doing to my brother!” Yelled out your sister that was trying to force Douma’s hand off of her and trying to reach for you, when Douma grabs the hand that was reaching for you and pulling it off her body. Finally snapping out the trance you hear a bloody cuddling scream. Turning your head around to see your sister on the ground clutching her shoulder but before you can say anything you were placed on the ground on all fours in front of your sister.
“Why don’t we put a show on for your sister~ hmm dear~”
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marcsburnerphone · 3 months
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And they were roommates
(Captain John price x F!reader)
Summary: that captain wants somewhere more homely to settle down and when an offer like yours comes alight on Zillow he must take up on it.
Warnings: none yet
Part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4
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“John Price, military captain, heavily decorated, and unmarried.” you read off of a printed sheet of paper. He’s the third person you’ve seen today that wants to rent the room available. You were praying this one would be a success. You weren’t looking to house the married couples or the rowdy in love teenagers you’d seen earlier on today.
“Yes ma’am that is me.” He says looking down at you, not metaphorically but physically he’s inches above you. You’re far younger than he imagined, beautiful and so awfully well spoken that he’d assumed you’d be either his age or older.
“If this is your job and you’re not married and don't have kids I’m sure you get paid well. Why do you need a roommate?” You say hoping you don’t sound rude but with a job like that this man could afford much better.
“I’m not home much and basically live on base but for the times I do briefly return home id like it to be in a place like your home, beautiful, deserted, quiet.” The last few places he stayed in were apartments and he wanted to settle into something he actually cared to return to, not just someplace that could hold some belongings.
“Well then Mr.Price let me show you the rooms and house, follow me.” You lead him into your home through the halls and the living room simply showing him around making small talk about your job and hobbies.
“If you don’t mind me asking why is it you need a roommate?” He later returns the question, you halt in your tracks and stand still for a second making John hope he hadn’t overstepped.
“I was in a long term relationship that ended two years ago and when we broke up he left me the house or I technically demanded I keep it and um bills have been hard to keep up with.” You Look him in the eyes and smile softly, relieving him of the anxious feeling he’s holding.
“Sorry for asking.” He sincerely apologizes.
“Don’t worry about it, I think it's better you did because this will lead us to the next thing.” You reassure him and continue walking through a pair of French doors.
“This will be your office, I’m sorry about the boxes, they're a little too heavy for me to carry through this house and throw away.” You point to a fair amount of them pushed into a corner.
“No, don't worry about it, I'll get them out.” He replies kindly.
“And then right through here would be your bedroom.” It's exactly to the right of his office, a huge room which must be the master. He wonders if this had been the room you shared with your ex and by the look that covers your gorgeous features, he’s right.
“It has its own bathroom and a walk-in closet. If you want to live here, I’d like the home to be treated as if we both own it, not like you just rent a room, especially for the price.” You explain and truly that is your hope. He’s the perfect tenant and on his submission form he’s looking for a long term place which would mean less worry about the future bills on your behalf.
“When can I start moving in?” He turns to look in your hopeful eyes.
“Immediately if you want it of course.” You say with excitement. The mortgage payments have been a burden and this was a huge relief.
“Is it okay if I have some of my mates help me take these boxes out?” You nod enthusiastically with a quiet
‘of course’.
“I'll be back here early in the morning, Thankyou for inviting me into your home.” He says turning to make way back down the path you took to the room.
“Thankyou Mr.Price.” You offer your hand as a settlement.
“Call me John please.” He shakes it politely.
“I'll see you tomorrow john.” You say walking him to the door and bidding him a goodbye.
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“Be honest captain, is she cute?” John had the unfortunate situation of having to haul soap with him in his car while the two other men drove the moving truck that he only rented to get rid of the boxes you had.
“She’s nearly a decade younger than me.” He answers hoping that’ll lay it to rest.
‘That doesn’t answer my question.” Soap never chooses peace.
“Yeah she’s stunning.” And really you were.
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“Hi good morning, come in.” You say opening the door letting the cold air sweep into your warm home. Eyeing the huge men that stood in the doorway.
“Good morning this is soap, gaz, and that's ghost if you couldn’t tell. This is my task force and certainly my best mates.” John replies quickly giving them an introduction.
“Nice to meet you all.” You say trying your hardest to not sound intimidated.
“And you as well, gorgeous.” Soap says gripping your small hand in his own.
“He’s a flirt, don't worry about him.” Gaz says, shaking your hand next.
“Nice to meet you.” Ghost offers you his gloved hand giving you the softest handshake he thinks he’s ever given in his life.
“Well you boys can get too it there is pastries on the counter and drinks in the fridge if you need anything i'll be in my room that’s down this hall.” You say smiling at all of them then reaching into the pocket on your paint stained overalls fishing out a pair of keys.
“Oh and before I can forget John these are yours, this one is too your office and bedroom door and this one is too the house door.” You say handing them over on the pink keychain you’ve kept them on all this time.
“Thank you.” He says before you walk away.
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“That little lady does not know how to pack these. They are insanely heavy, how'd she ever expect to get them out.” Soap says picking up a box from the office room that’s filled with papers.
“I don’t think that was her main concern.” John says as he also picks one up walking them outside and into the U-Haul he rented.
“She’s a true stunner though, how will John Price be able to resist?” He teases his captain.
“I’m with soap on that one.” Ghost surprisingly grumbles throwing a box down on the gravel.
“Should’ve seen the way she was looking at you captain.” Gaz enters this pointless conversation out of breath gently setting down more boxes.
“I actually think you're the only one here whose age is appropriate for her gaz.” Gaz makes a sound of disagreement.
“Captain 8 years isn’t what you’re making it seem, don't you remember when soap had a girlfriend like 13 years older than him.” The memory flashes through all their minds and ghost has to keep himself from giggling.
“And don’t you remember how it ended.” It was ugly, soap found that when time passes people get older and being 37 with a 50 year old wasn’t what he thought it’d be.
“All I’m saying is I think some romance with a pretty lady like that could do you some good. I mean your living in a home together tension will get to you at some point.” John rolls his shoulders back and sighs.
“Shut up and get back to work, all of you.” The captain says demanding as they all hurry back inside.
But what if?
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“Wow, I don't know when’s the last time I've seen these rooms empty.” You say walking into the office.
“Was it all his?” John says giving you a one up at the change in clothes. You're wearing your pajamas which consist of shorts and a big shirt.
“Yeah it was, when will you be bringing in your own stuff?” You reply quickly changing the topic.
“I actually have all my stuff in my truck, only three boxes, I’m not a man of many possessions.” He laughs Gruffly swiping a hand over his mouth.
“I have clean sheets in my closet if you’ll be needing some.” You offer politely.
“Please.” He says and you nod, turning to go get them.
“I’ll just be bringing in the rest of my belongings.” He says walking down the opposite end of the hallway.
He brings the boxes in one by one, setting them in the office not paying mind to where you could have gone till he brings the last one in and hears you humming in the bedroom putting what were to be his pillows inside pillow cases.
“Oh love you didn’t have too. I've been making my own bed on base for longer than my memory goes back.” His deep voice slightly startles you.
“Sorry, it's just a habit.” You apologize softly and he wonders if it came off the wrong way.
“No, Thankyou is what I really mean.” He says slightly smiling at the floral print sheets that now adorn his bed.
“Sorry these are actually the least feminine looking ones I have.” You smile realizing how silly it looks for a man as manly as the one who stands before you to have blue and pink flower sheets.
“No worries love.” He nods to you.
“Well I'll see you in the morning, goodnight.” You say giving him a small pat on the shoulder and leaving to what he could only assume to be your bedroom.
He got changed for the night, ready to settle into bed. As soon as his head hit the pillows the scent of lavender and a perfume that had to solely be you was invading his senses. Something so feminine and warm and good, god was it good. He turned his head slightly more into the pillow taking a deep breath in and out enjoying it. The more he focused on it the easier the sleep had come and before he knew it he was sleeping like a bear in hibernation.
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I’m ready for a new story.
Comments and reposts and greatly appreciated<3
If anyone has thoughts or ideas on how this should go please send them in.
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