#and let the others tear each other into pieces idc

[star-girl69]

Because Of You

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader

—-

synopsis: years after your rite of passage, the boy who’s heart you broke just won’t leave you alone. clarisse, your girlfriend, quickly decides she’s not a fan.

a/n: should i stop procrastinating and then forcing myself to write shitty fics quickly? probably. but not today!! this is kinda just like an au of dont delete the kisses but… you guessed it… IDC!!!!!!!! from this ask

thank you all so much for patiently waiting i love y’all soooooo muuccchhhhhh 🫶🫶💋 as i mentioned on my acc i have the next week off from school, pls expect more content then!!

Because Of You - Lana Del Rey (Unreleased)

warnings: NOT PROOFREAD, this sucks so bad y’all sorry lolllll, y/n is a year round camper!, starts out very background heavy but i really don’t care 😭, creepy men UGH, ugly bitches not being able to let shit go, im gonna say sexual harassment just incase, swearing, usual demigod stuff y’all know what you’re getting into, jealous!clarisse YESSS, possessive!clarisse ik i screamed!!, protective!clarisse too, slightly graphic makeout scene, i think that’s all, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

When you were young, you were thrilled by the thought of love.

The idea of belonging not only with someone- bodies fitting together like puzzles pieces- but belonging to someone- wrapping around you like a warm blanket.

Later, your half-siblings would describe mostly similar experiences to yours- an overwhelming desire to be loved, wanted, needed. Ever since you ran into camp with a monster hot on your heels and satyr shouting encouragement next to you- everyone’s stared at you. They poke and prod, they act like they’ve never seen a daughter of Aphrodite before.

It’s annoying, but it makes you feel good- but not quite.

Until Alek came along.

You were both 13, you still believed in soulmates, and you wanted nothing more than to be with each other for the rest of your lives.

You were 13, and he felt like the only one for you.

And when you had to break up with him to fulfill your rite of passage- it felt like the world was ending. You cried for days and begged your sister Phoebe to say it wasn’t a true, it was just a mean, mean prank.

But she couldn’t tell you that, and there were more types of love that romantic.

While you longed to hold someone, to be held- you also craved your mother’s approval like you were starving. You wanted her love, you wanted her to visit you in your dreams, you wanted gifts from her, you wanted everything and anything she could give you.

So, it hurt like you had never known hurt before, but you did it. Alek seemed entirely indifferent to it, almost ignoring you and pretending you hadn’t said it- but you felt a warmness around you, a dove flew between trees, you knew your mother was there and she approved.

Breaking up with Alek felt like the sun had exploded on top of you.

Being with Clarisse felt like the sun was wrapped around you.

—-

After Alek’s initial denial, he went through all the other stages of grief, mourned your relationship like you did, and you came out on the other side with a one-sided agreement to forget it ever happened.

Alek got stuck. Or went back. He started to believe that you were still meant to be, that much you could tell.

Until that day at the training fields when your hand slipped at archery and you almost shot Clarisse in the head- and she had glared at you so harshly while you ran over and examined her head, gushing out apologies and fretting over her.

She pushed you away, hand lingering for a second, eyes softening before she quickly looked away.

“Just… be more careful,” she had said, almost like a question, like she wasn’t sure the words were coming out of her mouth.

And, Gods, were you terrified it was all some secret plan. Make you think it was alright only to corner you in the woods and probably kill you, or something.

And when she asked the next day to teach you how to shoot a bow, you agreed with tears in your eyes, knowing of her reputation, and it took a lot of trust and a lot of swapped secrets for her to prove to you it wasn’t all some elaborate plan.

But even if her plan was to kill you the entire time, you fell in love over her fixing your stance, hands brushing as you accidentally grabbed the same arrow, stolen looks across the pavilion.

It wasn’t until a random kid bumped into you, making you fall and twist your ankle. Clarisse had this look in her eyes that was so genuine, so full of love and care for you, softly caressing your leg after she had punched the other kid in the face.

And you realize as she said you were doing great, limping while she helped you to the infirmary, that this was something.

And as much as you hated the violence being committed over you, it was the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, and the warmth in your chest was all you had ever wanted. This was what it was like to belong with someone, to someone, with her, to her.

This was what it was like to be admired. Loved. Wanted. Needed.

And when she softly told you goodbye, you had kissed the corner of her lips and thanked her- turning to walk into your cabin, ankle already feeling better thanks to the ambrosia.

She grabbed you by the wrist and turned you around, pulling you against her tightly and kissing you so harshly like she had just found the secret to the world in her lips on yours, her hands on your hips.

And when she finally pulled away, embarrassing strings of spit connecting your lips, she said she was sorry. Probably the first time she had ever said that to someone, and you smiled.

“Sorry. It’s just… once your lips were on mine, I don’t think I can ever stop. I don’t wanna stop.”

And she kissed you again and it was all you ever wanted out of this life- to love and be loved, to hold and to be held, and it was all because of her.

—-

The welcome back campfire is your favorite time of year.

It’s when the camp comes alive, when the Gods themselves seem to return to this place- even Mr. D is a bit more lively with all the pure infectious energy running through the first few days of camp. Everyone’s getting settled, classes haven’t started quite yet, and the year round campers get a much needed break.

As much as you and Clarisse wanted to keep things private, when she punches someone in the middle of the pavilion for accidentally bumping into you, it’s not hard to figure out Clarisse cares for you more than she does anyone else.

And after one of your younger siblings, Cara, a 12-year-old notorious for staying up late, saw you and Clarisse kissing that first night- it spread like wildfire.

But it was the winter, so it still felt secret, until summer rolled around and Clarisse kept getting more and more annoyed by every camper who entered the gates. She would grab at you in the middle of meals, drag you into her bed, even kiss you in public- do all these things that seemed so out of character for her, but she was a different person when she was with you.

Everyone had been looking at you oddly all night, shocked, confused, even Clarisse has cracked a genuine smile at someone who dropped their drink- squeezing your hand.

Maybe they had all heard the rumors. Maybe they didn’t believe them.

But it’s all cleared up when Clarisse leads you to the best seat, the log not too far from the fire but not too close, wrapping her arms around you and kissing your temple.

Your cheeks heat up, only because Clarisse is never this touchy in public, and never around this many people before.

All of the eyes on you feel weird- they feel so judging.

And you’re not used to that, however vain it may be.

“Everyone’s staring at us,” you mumble, shuffling closer to Clarisse so your legs are pressed together.

She leans her head against your shoulder. “‘S okay. Don’t worry about ‘em, baby.”

You huff. “Did no one ever teach them it’s rude to stare, though? Like… c’mon.”

She sighs dramatically, lifting her head from your shoulder.

“Stop fuckin’ staring,” she says. Not quiet shouting, but her voice is loud and forceful. Her voice carries weight.

And eventually, at the risk of Clarisse’s wrath, all the wandering eyes stop.

A few of Clarisse’s siblings laugh from around you, commenting that the stares were getting a bit ridiculous, everyone just grateful that you all might get a little reprieve from the overwhelming stares and whispers.

But, you still feel uneasy. Clarisse kisses your shoulder.

And while you look around at the faces very pointedly not staring at you, there’s one person who still is. You roll your eyes, open your mouth to comment on it- but your mouth quickly snaps close at the sight of Alek.

—-

You don’t mention it to Clarisse. Maybe because breaking his heart haunts you, maybe what could have been haunts you.

You try not to think of Alek or that night, you try not to think of the entire age of 13. You always knew that Alek never quite let you go. He still sort of believed that the two of you would come back together- subscribing to some abstract belief soulmates.

You don’t think about Alek. Everything you do is because of her, because of Clarisse.

Sometimes, knowing you have secret admirers makes you feel all happy, but now that Clarisse sneaks you into her cabin every night- it makes you feel weird. You really don’t want anyone except for Clarisse, the idea of even being near someone else kinda disgusts you.

But, you choose to believe that maybe he was just shocked, and he’ll get over it in a few days.

You spend your days in the summer sun with Clarisse, holding her hand on walks through the strawberry fields, still using your archery lessons to spend time together, staring at each other from across the pavilion at meals, dreaming about a future together when it gets dark and you’re forced to whisper softly.

Alek is just always lurking. Is it coincidence? Is he stalking you? Every time you’re with Clarisse, trying to enjoy a nice date, he’s there- staring at you like a lovesick puppy.

And if it wasn’t because of her, you would probably be flattered. But you have Clarisse, you’ve moved on, you’re in love and happy.

It’s the late afternoon, you’re trying to enjoy a long moment with her, breathe in the sweet smell and just feel how happy you are, know it’s because of her.

The fields are still crowded with kids who pushed off their chores until the end of the day, so you and Clarisse stay on the outskirts. Not too far into the woods that’s filled with satyrs and nymphs who have grown very hostile towards any two campers who make their way into the woods. But not too close.

You don’t even register that other people are there. You’re going on about your annoying half-brother, she’s pretending to listen intently- but it’s just enough to be here with her, and at least she’s listening to the sound of your voice. At least that brings her some comfort, and that makes you feel good.

“And then, he said-” you trail off, feeling like something’s crawling all over you, practically being able to feel the anger in the air.

“Hm, what?” Clarisse asks, snapping out of her reverie at your silence.

Alek is glaring at you, of course. It just feels so juvenile. You had received letters from him for years- ones that he didn’t sign- but you knew. He said that the two of you had so much more to give together, that a second chance was all he needed to make you forget about the rite of passage, about pleasing your mother.

Clarisse squeezes your hand, leaning closer to you.

You used to like the feeling of getting those letters, of knowing you were loved and wanted. But now, with Clarisse, because of her- it feels wrong.

She follows your eye line and Alek quickly looks away, back down at the strawberries he’s supposed to be picking.

Clarisse’s hand tightens around yours.

“Who the hell is that?” she huffs.

You suck in a breath. “Alek.”

“Al-huh?”

You smile, despite how uneasy you feel.

“Alek, Clarisse. From my rite of passage?”

“Oh,” she nods, nose scrunching ever so slightly. “The one who left you those creepy letters? Has he left anymore?”

“No, no,” you say, risking one more glance at his back- just to assure yourself. Maybe you’re just making it all up. “Not since last summer. I mean, he was staring at us the night of the bonfire too, he’s always around on all our dates- it’s just creepy, at this point.”

“Sounds like the fucker has a death wish,” she drawls. “I’d be happy to help him with it.”

You bump her shoulder with yours. “Yeah, yeah Miss Violence.”

She smiles back, but she searches her eyes and you can tell she doesn’t like what she sees.

“Hey, c’mon. I’ll kill him if he pulls some shit again.”

“Clarisse.”

“Beat him up?”

“Clarisse.”

“Physically threaten him?”

“Clar-”

She smacks her hand over your mouth. “Shhh,” she smiles. “Don’t stress. I’ll take care of it.”

“Clarisse!” you shout, laughing, but her hand is still pressed tight over your moth.

“Oh, sorry, baby, I can’t hear you!”

“Bitch,” you hiss, and she frowns.

“Mean.”

—-

Clarisse, unfortunately, is true to her word.

Alek finally leaves you a note. It’s simple, unsigned, but obviously him. You recognize his chicken scratch scrawl.

All it says is:

I miss you, we could be something

She writes him a note back, a long one- first talking about all of her accomplishments as a daughter of Ares, then detailing all the ways she’ll make him regret thinking about you.

She tells you now, whispers in her bed, she laughs and your mouth hangs open.

“Clarisse!” you gasp, scolding her with a soft hit to her shoulder.

She rolls her eyes and moves closer to you.

“What else was I supposed to do? Ignore it? You don’t know me if you think I could just ignore some random dude flirting with my girlfriend. He’s a fuckin’ weirdo, and hopefully that note will teach him somethin’.”

“I mean. I doubt it will,” you mumble after a moment.

She smiles, your heart squeezes- because her smile is so beautiful- and because Clarisse never smiles like this. It’s bloodthirsty. It’s almost inhuman. It’s Godly.

“Then I’ll have to teach him in… other terms.”

—-

Dinner this evening is slow and relaxed. It’s Friday, so you’ve all made it to the end of the first official week of camp. Chiron let’s the rules fade away tonight, cabin tables have been abandoned and everyone sits where they want.

A few Hermes kids volunteered to start a fire, Mr D is busy trying to get the new kids to sneak him some alcohol- but he’s hard pressed to find ones who haven’t already been warned not to.

The energy in the air is infectious. The promise of a late wake up tomorrow, a fun night, the feeling of the moon and the fire, warmth on your skin- it’s a recipe for lowered inhibitions, for everything to come a little easier.

Clarisse sits next to you a table in the pavilion. You’re surrounded by Silena and Beckendorf, a few Hermes kids, a few Ares kids- a big mosh of random campers squeezed together at this one table- but it works, for whatever reason.

There’s nothing like laughing at someone’s shitty joke and feeling Clarisse laugh with you, pressed close to her so you can feel her chest rumble, feel her arm squeeze around you.

“He did what?!” Silena screeches, looking at you with wide eyes.

You laugh at her shock, at the audacity of Alek.

She sneaks a quick glance at Clarisse, who seems entirely engrossed in her siblings’ arm wresting tournament at the next table over.

“Yeah,” you sigh, feeling sort of complacent with it now. It’s not like anything will change. You’re here because of her, because of Clarisse. Everything you do is because of her.

Breathing, eating, sleeping. Basic human functions and the need to survive has only strengthened with the motivation of staying alive for her.

“Anyways,” you smile. “Clarisse left him back this big, long note. All about how she’s the strongest girl at camp,” you roll your eyes, but you’re smiling too big to be anything but joking. Besides, everyone knows she’s probably right. “And then threatened him a whole bunch. So, hopefully, he’ll just get his head out of his ass and then everything will be good again.”

You breathe out at the end of your small rant, and Silena smiles sympathetically.

“Hopefully,” she echoes.

But, because of Clarisse, because of her arms around you, you don’t feel anything but peace.

—-

Of course, life is not straightforward for demigods.

At the end of the day, you’re doomed to fall in your parents footsteps- except there is no immortality for you to fall back on. You’re vain and you’re proud, just like your parents, and you step too far, jump too high, and you’re as left dust on the floor.

Even though the same path had been left out for you to repeat, doomed footsteps to follow in, you step where they stepped and expect a different end.

The night is pitch black, besides for the brilliant stars and the bright, bright moon. It makes everything feel so private and secret. It makes Clarisse relax, makes her hold you closer but looser.

It feels good to feel her arm loose around you. She’s not afraid of you disappearing, because she knows of someone dragged you away you would rise up from the waves and straight back into her, into her arms.

The Apollo kids are playing music, voices hum along, the night is on fire with the crackles and the rising smoke, on fire with the peace, the content.

It feels like nothing can hurt you here.

But you’re a demigod, and life is not that easy.

The seat next to you is abandoned, and you barely even take notice as it’s quickly filled again- but you take notice of the eyes on you, of the body leaning forward to speak softly to you.

The fact that he’s here, the fact that he blatantly didn’t listen- you suppose you could have felt some sympathy for before, craving a life that wasn’t his anymore. Living off of memories made him too hungry.

Your mouth presses into a thin line as you recognize the voice in your ear.

“Y/N, I jus’ wanna talk.”

The rest of the table has fallen silent, and you realize everyone had almost immediately taken notice of his entrance- and you could tell by the way Clarisse’s body was tense against yours- he would regret ever coming over here.

“Clarisse,” you mumble, shifting closer to her.

She hooks her head over her shoulder, shifting completely so she’s straddling the bench, pressed up against your back.

Her tone is genuinely confused.

“Are you, like, okay in the head?”

The table, previously silent with fear, now bubbles with forced laughter.

“It’s not of your business,” Alek says, staring directly into your eyes. You feel like a deer caught in headlights, just completely shocked, too scared to move like it will all become real.

Clarisse puts her hand on your forehead and floats it down across your face, and your eyes voluntarily flutter shut.

“You’re not even worthy of being looked at by her,” and you can hear the smile on her voice. She confidence seeping from her pores- you can feel it all with the way she’s protectively wrapped around you.

“Y/N,” he says again, ignoring her through gritted teeth. “I just want to talk.”

“If you say one more fuckin’ word to my girlfriend I’m gonna kill you.”

There’s no smile on her voice, no edge of a joke. Not even angry. She’s deathly calm. She’s focused, like a 20 pound weight sinking to the bottom of the sea. She cuts through whatever she has to and everything else knows to avoid her.

You don’t know why the hell Alek just can’t let the 13 year old version of you go, why he’s looking something where there’s nothing, and you’re just so done with all of this.

You open your eyes, sitting up, letting Clarisse’s arms fall around you in confusion.

“Alek,” you start, softly. “We dated for a month when we were 13. That’s all it was, that’s all it’s ever gonna be. It’s over, okay?”

“Exactly,” he breathes. “A month when we were 13- and we were that good together? We could do so much more now, I wanna show you.”

“Okay, I’m done,” you mumble, standing up.

And without you in between, Alek finally gets a good look at the daughter of war. She’s pure, streamlined muscle. Every inch of her body has been meticulously trained to kill monsters- Alek knows that killing him would be easy.

Clarisse cracks her knuckles and you almost laugh at how cinematic it is.

—-

You hum as you run the alcohol pad over her split knuckles. Clarisse likes to leave the scars like this, the small ones, let them heal on her own. Even though she winces at the feeling, you know she’ll be walking around, proudly showing off her scabs until they finally fade away. She’ll cross her fingers and hope they scar, probably.

Clarisse watches you with admiration, admiring your movements, your voice, even though you’re really not doing anything special. But, to her, everything you do is special.

“Did you see how bad his face was?” she asks, trying to remain calm, but eagerness slips into her voice.

“I did,” you laugh. “It was real bad, baby. Good job.”

She huffs, as if it’s common knowledge.

“I always do a good job, just matters what level of good I’m on. I think this was one of my best works though, huh?”

She admires her split knuckles and you roll your eyes, finally starting to put some bandaids on the clean wounds.

“You’re crazy,” you mutter.

She shrugs. “You’re the one who let me. You’re the one who loves me.”

“Yeah,” you mumble after a moment, not really wanting to lie to her, tease her right now. She smiles soft and sweet, placing her fingertips against your jawline and leaning forward.

“Did you like watching me?” she breathes, her low voice hitting you right in the stomach, breath against your lips.

You circle her biceps with your hands and run them up and down the tense muscle.

“You know I did.”

“Three months no dessert,” she smiles.

“Three months of sharing with you,” you laugh. She smiles wider before finally, mercifully, putting her lips on yours.

Everything you do is because of Clarisse. It feels so good to be close to her like this- practically in her lap- fo feel how strong she is, to know what she did for you today.

It feels so good to know she loves you.

When you pull away, trying to chase her, she dodges you and kisses your jawline, your neck, and you throw your head back and release the most unladylike sounds as she leaves hickies on your neck, seemingly determined to make them as dark as possible, as easy to see. And a lot of them.

“Jealous?” you say, biting your lip to keep in a moan.

“Just want everyone to know you’re my girl. Want everyone to know who makes you feel good, feel loved, huh?”

You stomach twists and your mind goes blank.

“Huh?” she repeats, sticking her face in your neck to breathe in and out, catching her breath. “Why you feelin’ like this, baby?”

“Because of you,” you breathe. “Because of you, Clarisse.”

—-

y/n walking around the next day looking like she got attacked by a vampire

silena trying to be happy for y’all but also concerned for your health

clarisse just being proud as hell

—-

this was small so idk if y’all picked it up but clarisse was jealous before alek even came along- jealous that there were more campers coming! like? she just doesn’t like unworthy losers looking at her girl 🙄

—-

possessive!clarisse i love you so much baby

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

[rrxnjun]

(im really stupid but i hope u like this fanletter 😭)

hello <3 this is for my favourite writer on tumblr; to the the same writer who does not realise how much their works could mean to someone, the lovely @rrxnjun 🎀 !!!

so, i found your blog at the beginning ot this month– november, 2023, and now that the month's about to end, i have nearly finished reading all your nct works.

to me, this month is the most special one of this year. why? because i found your blog, your stories– some pieces of your mind. i found you through one of those nct fanfic recs, 'take the stairs - njm' being the first work i read from you. it was sweet, it made me happy. and then i read the other two parts of the 'simplify romance' series, which will always hold a special place in my heart.

this year has been the worst for me, with no one for me to lean on to, weird identify crisis shit, and losing myself in this tiring process of growing up. but you know what? you saved 2023 for me. when no one's words could speak to me, yours did. you make me feel a little less lonely.

im a silly teenager, who never read sad/mainly angsty stories before i found you because i was scared, i was confident i'd cry. and i did. i gathered the courage to read angst only because you'd written it, and it was so worth it. ive stayed up so many nights this month just to read your works in peace and privacy, hidden from my family, and then spend the days thinking about how you literally create art, and telling my bestfriends about it. you are blessed. you are phenomenal. no amount of thank yous or i love yous could be enough for me to express my gratitude. you've made me feel so at peace with my thoughts sometimes and you've made me feel like i'm not alone. you have magic in your hands. i owe you so much, i wish i could gift you something, but sadly im still a minor and theres a few years until i finish uni and then get a job, and then i promise i'll get you something, because i am so lucky to be able to read your stories for free. you deserve so much more than followers, likes and reblogs. each one of your fics have made me tear up and all of them are too special for me.

this month ive read all of your nct dream '00 line fics, and my favourite was 'happier than ever' which i finished a week ago— AND I SWEAR THAT FIC DESTROYED ME 😭😭😭 it had me bawling my eyes out for two hours on a school night i love it so so fucking much, i literally think about it daily and i told all my friends about it and im so in love with it, please tell me, for my inner peace that renjun and the reader ended up getting together and being fine because im gonna cry over it for the rest of my life IDC IF THEY DIDNT END UP TOGETHER please lie to me and tell me they did 💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i want you to know, and to remember this whenever you feel even a little like giving up— you have magic, bar, don't ever let go of that magic.

your stories make me want to heal and to help everyone heal. to be loved and to love everyone. to be cared for and care for everyone. your magic helps me survive my days with a little smile. thank you so much for everything you've done for me, without realising you're helping me live.

every single word i wrote here– i swear on everything i have, i genuinely mean it. you are the best thing that happened this year :) i hope that one day someone will love you as much as i love your blog.

(me when i talk about your work)

P.S. permission to take a screenshot of your blog and paste it to my scrapbook by which i can remember my teenage years that your stories mended, please?

thank you for reading, ily ❤️

- your biggest fan (hopefully no one's more dedicated!!) 💘

when i saw this in my inbox i got so emotional i couldnt reply immidiately because i genuinely wanted to sob. this is so so sweet and it mustve taken a long time to type out and i appreciate you a WHOLE lot, not only for this, but also for supporting me sm over the last month. :,)

take the stairs is a very sweet and fun fic and i am glad you found my blog through this one, haha. the simplify romance series holds my favorite fics and i PROMISE to finish jeno's entry at the beginning of the next year!! it HAS to be done. it means a lot to me that you took the time of your day to read my works and that you enjoyed them so much to let me know.

i am happy to hear that my work could help you through some hard times. as a reader on this platform as well, i do know that feeling very well and i could never imagine being that person to someone, but i am glad my words could be there for you when no one else could. hearing this makes all the effort feel worth it, and it's something i'll think of whenever im having a hard time with my work again. i also hope life is nicer to you in the future, and if you ever need someone, my inbox is always open.

having my fics be called art is something i never imagined could happen. it's beyond what i think about my work, but i am honored to hear this compliment, truly. despite being a writer i cant find the words to express my gratitude towards you and your supportive words right now >:( it does mean the whole entire world to me. please do NOT worry about "paying me back" or something, i do this because it's what i love doing and sharing my work with others makes me happy, so an ask like this is more than enough for me. you made me feel really appreciated and i will remember and treasure your kind words forever.

happier than ever is definitely a heavier read, since it's partly from personal experience, hh. i tend to project on renjun a lot so take this as a warning for my other renjun fics LMAO. TT this fic has a special place in my heart and hearing you talk so highly about it makes me all warm on the inside hhhhh my love langugage is words of affirmation stop this or ill cry. i enjoy leaving my fics open-ended to interpretation of the reader, so whatever you feels fits their story is how the story ends for you. <3

i will definitely use this ask as a reminder to not give up when i feel like doing so. it really brought me a lot of strength :) thank you for calling my writing magic. i never imagined someone describing it that way, but it does feel good to hear haha

knowing that my work helped somebody and made them heal and feel all sorts of emotions inside makes me feel at peace. thank you so much. SO much.

also u really make me want to bawl with that scrapbook comment. cant believe im an important part of someone's teenage years :((

once again, words cant express how much this means to me. thank you and i hope my fics continue to be a source of good things for you :) i will think of this often. ily

[anachronistic-falsehood]

I posted 3,054 times in 2022

That's 1,331 more posts than 2021!

453 posts created (15%)

2,601 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hiveswap

@incorrect-hs-quotes

@sinsear-aisteach

@relaxxattack

@tubmax

I tagged 2,465 of my posts in 2022

Only 19% of my posts had no tags

#whiskey yelling into the void - 200 posts

#homestuck - 104 posts

#dream smp - 89 posts

#dsmp - 76 posts

#liveblogging - 71 posts

#homestuck 2 - 29 posts

#moon knight - 26 posts

#hs^2 - 25 posts

#screaming - 23 posts

#whiskey’s word soup - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#(also idk exactly what swimz’s pronouns are but i’ve seen people call swimz he so that’s just what i’m going with pls tell me if i’m wrong)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

grabs pepsicola and fuckimg shakes them around aggressively like a hamster in a sock (affectionate) (insane) i think about them So Much. idc if it’s johndave or junedave or junedove or WHATEVER!! no matter the genders they are just The Ship Ever

like,,,, it’s about the childhood friendship evolving into something that they’re both afraid of,,, it’s about overcoming their prejudice and internalized homophobia together hand in hand and making something precious out of it,,,, whether it’s pale or flushed or just normal human romance it’s so good either way

They’re like the opposite of Dirkjake!! dirkjake is like “let’s tear each other apart and drive each other insane hand in unlovable hand until we both die i hate you i love you i hate you”. Pepsicola is like “I’ve known you for so long i trust you more than anything let’s make something new and beautiful together from the ashes of our fears i love you i love you i love you”.

150 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

#4

reading posts about the tommyinnit love or host on my tumblr dash is like “look at all the weird contestants! there’s so much happening!!! WHY IS HASAN THERE?? RANBOO LOST????” and just having a good little laugh about it. a sensible chuckle

going on twitter to read about it is like. there’s discourse about literally anything and everything, people are calling each other out and everything is in shambles. i feel like a visitor at the zoo watching two lions try to kill each other over a piece of meat

207 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

#3

hey um. u know how Patton said “Passion makes you do crazy things!” in the new sanders sides video and Logan gave him a suspicious Look

now I’m not saying the orange side is going to be Passion but guys. GUYS

215 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

#2

i am desperately hoping that hs2 gets updated tomorrow just bc i want to witness the chaos it would bring

403 notes - Posted April 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Marc “if you touch my wife i will throw us off a cliff” Spector gaining control of the body for one (1) second and using it to punch Steven in the face after he kissed Layla is iconic honestly

769 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ramblesofadreamerofthestars]

Therapy? In The Final Season of  The 100??

It’s more likely then any of us ever thought??????

Spoilers of course for the 100 7.07

Dr. Eric Jackson said “is anyone going to treat Literally Everyone for the trauma we go through” and had to wait seven seasons before giving up and doing it himself. I fucking love him and I Adore that Madi is getting therapy and that they are CONFRONTING WHAT HAPPENED TO A LITERAL CHILD. Jax read one (1) psychology book and decided he was now a licensed therapist and you know what? good for him. 

Someone....let me at Madi’s wardrobe. Babe looks like she rolled up fresh out of Amity from the Divergent movies and like...killing it but What was the inspiration. I am So Happy she gets to play soccer and have therapy sessions and just be a regular kid for what is apparently, the first time in her entire life. I Miss her and Clarke and i wish Clarke was here to see Madi starting to flourish because that dynamic has been pushed So Far to the side this season and I just miss them. I Love that they finally addressed how fucked up it was putting the flame in Madi’s head i seriously love love love it. yes it was necessary but it was also extremely traumatic and not something a child should have to go through and I’m so happy they talked about it (for at least a moment anyway)

Lindsey Morgan and her team said You get to deal with trauma, and you get to deal with trauma, and you - . No but for real, I was pleasantly surprised with the things that got addressed this episode- The flame, Octavia beating up Bellamy, the beginning of Becho. Not as good as Bardo lore but we take what we can get.

(Also shout out to Ms. Morgan for an incredible directorial debut, what a talented queen) 

I Loved Octavia saying outright how fucked up it was that she beat up her brother It’s been 84 years too many seasons of waiting for it, her growth this season? Incredible. That being said, literally What The Fuck was that comforting scene between her and Echo I’m. “You’re my family too” bitch Where. I understand Octavia trying to comfort someone she knows her brother cares for, and I know that Octavia saw how lost and angry Echo was, and this is just my own thoughts but probably recognized something in Echo that was reminiscent of her when she lost Lincoln, at least in her eyes, but it came out of no where?? These two have Never had a good relationship and while part of it is obviously Octavia’s growth the scene felt a little stilted. 

So. Echo. First thing right off the bat (as always, this should literally be the expectation but for the people in the back) THE ACTORS ARE NOT THEIR CHARACTERS, THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE, AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GODS LEARN TO SEPARATE THE TWO. I have so much respect for all the actors and crew who are trying their absolute best and making this show something I look forward to watching.

I had Such high hopes for Echo. And honestly the tiny little rat part of my brain that never lets things go still wants to hope for a satisfying end to the spy’s story. I Want her to reach a point where she can look at herself with clear eyes, and come through to the other side. I Want her to have happy ending where she understands that though loyalty is admirable, there has to be more in your life, that you cannot dedicate yourself to one person entirely. The realistic part of my brain that has watched this fucking show for years knows better. Tasya Teles is doing an excellent job of Echo’s continuing downward spiral, 10/10 choices. But all the lighting and framing and crazy intense gaze do Not bode well for Echo’s sanity and her carving the Azgeda marks into her face was I think the point of “no return”. Which makes me sad, to see this end for the character, but it is a path I can see Echo going down, as much as it sucks.

“We got shaved Bellamy but at what cost” makes me cackle but honestly, I liked the Ring flashback. Setting aside how late it is to be Doing ring flashbacks, I think it was a Very interesting look at Becho. Echo on the ring is so cute sorry not sorry, like I Love seeing that girl happy. Her and Bellamy’s little banter reminded me of their earliest dynamic which I enjoyed seeing because I do think those characters have an interesting relationship. Also, Bellamy using his own experiences of the dangers of blind loyalty to try and help Echo, love to see it but her “it’s not real” right before he kissed her...the implications. They knew what they were doing and I think it was a needed perspective into their relationship because we have barely anything except for people saying things about it which is Not The Same Thing.

Moving On! HOLY SHIT Y’ALL HOPE AND DIYOZA I FUCKING LOVE THEM THE ACTRESSES WERE INCREDIBLE, THE DYNAMIC WAS AMAZING, BEST STORYLINE OF THE  EPISODE BY FAR. I seriously just Loved watching their scenes, their relationship is So Good and I loved them trying to figure out the new dynamics they have to work through and the way they don’t really know how to act around each other in the beginning but at their core they’re still mother and daughter and Hope’s broken “they took my mommy” almost had me in tears seriously These Two Y’all. 

Hope thinks of Dev as her father...I’m soft :’)

I’m tired of Nikki. That’s literally all I want to say about her this episode like I’m so tired of the Sanctum storylines and I just do Not care about her little revenge plot. Nelson joining her side is stupid but he was in a very emotional place at the moment so I Guess. 

Emori tried So Hard to make things better on Sanctum and I want to give her all the things it’s what she deserves what a queen. (Luisa d’Oliveira an actual goddess I’m so happy she got a chance to shine this episode). Memori consistently being cute and domestic af love that for them, seriously these two fit so well together “ besides, you’ve been worshiping me for years” when I tell y’all I screamed. Also I’m not like, super convinced about the Emori is pregnant theory and don’t really know how I feel about it but “maybe it’s the palace life giving you that glow” was a...weird choice of words. 

Sheihedea shut up forever challenge. Seriously why does anyone let him speak?? The bitch is so dramatic when he starts going on his “I can give you want you want” speech just walk away from him?? Like what’s the bitch going to do start yelling after you?? And let everyone know how desperate he is to get people on his side and also that he only has one real strategy of getting people on his side?? I think the fuck not. Honestly though, he has one (1) method of getting people on his side and it’s psychoanalyzing them while they play chess which goes on ForEVER btw (like this post w h o o p s) i’m so tired of him. Murphy calling him on his misogyny was certainly a highlight of the episode though, good for him.

And Finally, that ending though. Wow I’m super shocked that the shepard is Bill Cadogan. What a surprise. Never saw it coming. I thin the ‘plot twist’ still worked ish mostly because everyone fucking forgot about his existence but idk it was what I expected and I just Don’t Care? You have crystal giants outside and you want me to care about some musty ass white man who’s been in the freezer for thousands of years?  

I genuinely thought (because I’m a dumbass) for half a second that the old dude in the freezer coffin was Bellamy because I though Anders was going to do some dramatic reveal of where he was stashing our king and the rage I felt in that split second when I thought they really had the audacity to do that. But no it was just Another Plot we get to explore :)))))

ALRIGHT CLOWNS YOU MADE IT TO THE END SO. HOW ABOUT THAT BELLARKE CRUMB WE GOT. Can’t believe I Still can’t retire my clown makeup, please just Give Them A Break. Ms. Morgan really did that though, the framing close up of Clarke, the Bellarke theme in the background, all the other characters looking right at Clarke as she breaks on the inside ( and holy shit kudos to Ms. Eliza Jane for that scene, the sheer heartbreak and almost feral desperation in one expression was Everything). I know I said I love parallel’s and who does parallels better then them but I feel like the “they do this every year” audio, just let them be together for more then Five minutes without some new crisis blease. 

Next episode will be a prequel (?) set up (?) which will be...interesting. Going to be real honest I don’t really care about the premise but Becca scenes are always a plus. More of the Diyoza women please, Clarke and Octavia deserve to have a (better) moment grieving over Bellamy together thanks, let Miller say more lines, and p l e a s e let Bellamy and Clarke be on screen together soon I miss them. 

Friendship ended with Gabriel now Levitt is my only friend

[sunookkii]

hii can i get an E2L with jake please <3

YESSS!! Thank you so much for requesting,, I really hope you like it 😋

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Jake Sim x Reader

Genre : enemies to lovers

Warnings : some swear words here and there.. a little scene where main character almost gets assaulted at night

Word Count : 2.4K

Requested : yess <3

(Warning : It kind of sucks, I’m not really sure if this is e2l PLEASE I TRIED MY BEST ANYWAYS)

❀ You and Jake were enemies since birth, you two supposedly hated each other’s guts since diapers. It didn’t help that your parents were really good childhood friends and would always hang out together forcing you and Jake to try and get along. Though it didn’t work.. Jake would always picked on you, weather it was calling you stupid nicknames, tripping you making you fall and land on your face or bothering you every time he had a chance. You were always his main target. To him your reaction to his mean jokes were always so entertaining. You absolutely hated him, how cocky he was, how annoying he was, how handsome, charming he was, and how he was always better than you at everything. And the list goes on.

“I hate history why do we even need to learn it” you thought to yourself. Tapping your pencil back and forth not paying attention to the lesson that was taught on the board. Out of no where you feel pieces of paper being thrown at you from behind,,,, it was from Jake. You thought that he would stop throwing pieces of paper at you after awhile but oh you were wrong. Jake laughing silently to himself thought he was sooo funny. He kept throwing pieces of paper at you until you finally had enough, you turned your body facing him and started giving him a whole lecture forgetting that there was a lesson being taught right at this very moment.

“JAKE CAN YOU STOP, YOU’RE BEING SO FUCKING ANNOYING AND IMMATURE!”

“JAKE CAN YOU STOP, YOU’RE BEING SO FUCKING ANNOYING AND IMMATURE!”

You yelled at him a bit too loud causing the teacher to hear,,”Ms. l/n and Mr. Sim OFFICE NOW!”

You groaned at your teachers words, this is all Jakes fault, if he hadn’t bothered you, you two wouldn’t have been in trouble. At this point all the teachers knew you weren’t really fond of Jake, because every week you two would always be in detention together after school.

J: “This is your fault” you turn around to look at Jake, furious, body filled with hatred and anger

Y/n: “ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU WERE THE ONE THROWING PAPER AT ME, (you breathe in and out trying to calm yourself down) if you hadn’t thrown those stupid pieces of paper i could’ve been at home right now.”

J: “woah woah calm down..” he said, that didn’t help one bit

You decided to ignore him this once because there really is no winning when arguing with him. You two finally arrive at the principals office waiting for yet again another detention slip.

P: “I heard that there was a bit of a ruckus, during history class? Care to explain why you used such vulgar language during school?”

Y/n: “it wasn’t my fault sir, Jake was bothering me and wouldn’t stop.”

P: “Mr. Sim is that true?”

J: “no sir I was simply minding my own business, until she started yelling at me for no reason.” He lied through his teeth,

Y/n: “SIR HE’S LYING” you pointed at the boy smirking at you knowing what he just did.

P: “well it seems to me that there’s a little bit of a problem and someone is lying. Whoever is telling the truth can be excused from detention”

J and y/n : “sir I’M telling the truth”

P: “Well since no one is stepping up I guess I’ll have to put both of you into detention, here is the detention slip for both of you. Remember after school until 5, if you miss it you’ll get detention for the whole week. Got it?!

Y/n: “*sigh, yes sir”

———

Y/n’s POV :

The bell rung indicating that school was over, well not for me at least. I still have to show up for detention since well you know... I arrived at the detention room that read room 206. Walking towards an empty desk, I sat on it and lied my head down.

J: “so how was your dayy :)” knowing that this was all his fault he had the audacity to ask me how my day was??

Y/n: “shut up.”

J: “ooh someone’s grumpy cuz they got detention” he laughs annoyingly at me.

Y/n: “you’re in detention too idiot.”

J: “at least I’m not alone stupid” he rolls his eyes moving away and pushing back his dark brown fluffy hair,,

Why was that kind of attractive? Wtf why am I thinking like that get out of my head!

———

❀ The bell finally rung and we were dismissed, it felt like ages~

Walking towards the the exit I see myself accidentally walking besides Jake. I quickly realized and distanced myself, the sky outside was pitch black. Forgetting that I’m terrified of the dark I quickly walk home by myself so I don’t have to be outside any longer. As I was walking towards the direction of my house I sense someone following me, my pace got faster as I was scared what could happen this late at night. I ran quicker and quicker then all of a sudden I feel someone grabbing my wrist hugging me pushing me towards the corner of a house. I try and let out a loud scream right before they cover my mouth with their hand. I open my eyes only to see Jake.

J: “boo!”

I push him off, why is he holding me in his arms like that?

Y/n: “wtf Jake! Why are you following me?” I said kind of mad that he scared me thinking I was being followed.

J: “some guy was following you when you left school and I didn’t want anything to happen to you so I kinda followed you home..”

Y/n: “oh well you can go now... I don’t need your help..” feeling a little bit awkward that he kind of cared..

J: “are you stupid or something?” He said angrily “you should take better care of yourself! The man could’ve done something to you if I hadn’t been there!”

I had no words to say, how could someone I hate so much care for me? I guess he isn’t bad after all.. but my stubborn self obviously had to snap back,

Y/n: “IDC I DIDN’T ASK FOR YOU TO FOLLOW ME, WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE IF I GET HURT OR NOT!”

J: “I DON’T, YOU KNOW WHAT! WALK HOME BY YOURSELF”

Y/n: “YOU KNOW WHAT, I WILL!”

❀ ❀ ❀

I’m not gonna lie to you I kind of regret saying that to him, it’s not really fun walking home alone when it’s pitch black outside. It was all silent walking home untill I heard something walking towards me, I assumed it was Jake so I turned around getting ready to yell at him, but to my luck it was a random man who came walking up towards me, he came over touching my waist giving me a creepy look, making me feel uncomfortable.

Stranger: “hey baby girl you look beautiful tonight, you want to come over to my house? We can have lots of fun” He winks creepily at me. Does he not know I’m a minor?? Gross.

Y/n: “get away from me!” I tell him as I walk faster pushing him off of me, he quickly grabbed my wrist and started touching me “you’re not going anywhere!”

I start to panic, not knowing what to do, I wish Jake was here I thought to myself as I’m about to cry feeling hopeless not knowing what I could do. Suddenly I hear something running towards me, a tall figure with dark brown hair, is it Jake? The familiar figure punched the creepy man leading him to fall on the ground groaning. He grabed my wrist “lets run!” He held my hand tight as we were running, his hand was soft and fit perfectly in mine.

J: “are you okay” he looks at my scared face holding my cheeks in his palms. I nod feeling a hard lump in my throat as I soon burst out crying tears. “It’s okay, it’s okay I’m here you don’t have to be scared anymore” he held me tight in his arms. Embracing me, his arms and chest were so warm something I really needed. Never in a million years did I think I’d be hugging my enemy like this. I continue crying in his chest as he strokes my hair in reassurance that I’m safe. “Y/n you’re so stupid, you could’ve gotten seriously hurt.”

y/n: “I’m sorry” I continue crying

———

He walked me home safely still holding my hand, I look at him weirdly looking at him then looking back at our intertwined hands.

J: “oh right.. sorry”

Y/n: “how did you know I was in danger?”

J: “oh well it’s kind of silly actually, I was mad at you so I decided to do a mean prank to get you scared, but then that’s when I heard you scream so I ran up to you”

Y/n: “oh, well thanks for helping me I guess...” I said looking down at my fingers feeling ashamed.

J: “uhm anyways I’m gonna go home now.. gn loser” he said before he ran off putting his hood back on.

“Goodnight” I whisper, thankful that jake was there with me that night.

———

❀ The next day of school I went to my assigned seat which was in front of Jake. Then suddenly a non familiar boy comes inside the class, was he new?

T: “Class! Listen up.. we have a new student attending our school, and I would like for you to pay attention as he’s about to introduce himself.”

S: “Hi! My name is Sunoo Kim! Please take good care of me :)”

Who’s this new guys Sunoo he’s kind of cute....

T: “Sunoo you can sit next to y/n over there, y/n please raise up your hand so he knows who you are!”

S: “Hi!”

Y/n: “Hi I’m y/n, and your Sunoo right?”

S: “yess.”

The cute boy gave me a cute cheeky smile, I could tell we’ll become good friends. Class was over and it was time for lunch, I could tell that Sunoo didn’t have much friends since he’s new, so I asked him to have lunch with me. Sunoo and I talked about everything! It felt like we knew each other for so long, as if we were best friends. Jake passed by us giving us a weird glare. That’s weird I thought, he never usually glared at me like that, well I mean we’re enemies but he usually gives me a stupid teasing smile,, hmm that’s odd maybe he’s just in a bad mood.

———

School was over and it was time to walk home,

S: “Y/n!! Let’s walk home together, where do you live?”

Y/n: “oh I live near this block,, what about you?”

S: “OH really??!! I live here too, we live close to each other, lets walk home together sometimes!”

He’s so cute, charming and extroverted, we just got to know each other but I feel like we’ve been friends forever, is that weird?

Y/n: ok!

———

❀ Many weeks have passed and me and Sunoo became really close friends! Though Jake has been acting strange lately..

School ended quickly today,, Sunoo suddenly called out my name

S: “lets wak home together today!”

Y/n: “alright su-“

As I was about to finish my sentance Jake came over and grabed my hand intertwining his into mine.

J: “ahh sorry Sunoo she can’t, y/n’s mom told me to walk her home today.”

R: “ahh ok.. bye y/n I’ll see you next week!”

Y/n: “wait but but!” I wasnt able to finish my sentance since Jake already pulled me to the opposite direction. His hands... were in mine? Why am I feeling all sorts of butterflies in my stomach.. this is new, I never felt this way towards Jake before. It was kind of quiet during the walk home until the tension was broken and Jake said something as he stopped walking.

J: “lets go to the ice cream shop, just you and me.”

Y/n: “dont we hate eachother?”

J: “just shut up and come with me.”

He grabbed my hand forcing me to follow,

Y/n: “okay but you’re paying”

We arrived at the pretty ice cream place which was bright and pretty chilly. Jake went to go order the Ice creams while I looked around since I never been here before.

J: “two chocolate ice creams please”

He’s always been so polite towards everyone but me, his fluffy dark brown hair right about his eyes. He’s so cute.. why am I feeling this way towards him? We’re supposed to hate each other but here I am falling head over heels for Jake? No it can’t be, do I have a crush on him? How did he know I liked chocolate ice cream?We sat down at the near table, the place was super cute, perfect for a date. WAIT IS THIS A DATE?

Y/n: “Jake why did you take me here?”

J: “I needed to tell you something but finish your ice cream first”

Y/n: “oh uhm ok-“

J: “AW FUCK IT I CANT WAIT ANY LONGER Y/NILIKEYOU!”

I stool there frozen like a popsicle, did my enemy Jake just confess to me, this seems crazy but I think I like him too.

Y/n: “Jake I like you too..”

J: “iknowyoumightnotlikemebecausethewayItreatedyouwhenwewerekidsbutpleasegivemeachanceisweari’ll-“

Y/n: “JAKE! I said I like you too”

J: “what- really you mean it? You like me back” it was cute seeing him nervous because of me.

Y/n: “yeah I guess you’re not so bad..” I said teasingly

His worried face quickly turned into a big smile, we quickly finished the ice cream and walked outside of the ice cream place side by side. He stoped walking and looked at me.

J: “you have something on your lips” he said pointing

Y/n: “what where” I rubbed my mouth looking for the leftover ice cream”

J: “here” he grabbed my face leaning in for a deep kiss. “There all gone!” he runs away laughing like a little kid.

Y/n: “JAKE SIM I DIDN’T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO STEAL A KISS FROM ME!” I said chasing him, I guess you could say our relationship turned into an enemies to lovers type of thing.

[jujutsubabe]

Warm

Gojo/Reader

Tw: mentions of death, angst, idk what else to add

A/n: I uhm,,, wrote Gojo angst bc it kept proddding at my brain until I wrote it. I didn’t proofread but idc I cannot see thru tears in my eyes.(jk it’s not that bad I’m just sensitive.......)

“Ah merry christmas.” He squatted down, playing with one of the flowers in his hands. “I know you said you didn’t want anymore gifts, but I couldn’t help it, It’s too hard to not spoil you.”

He sat back and rubbed his neck as he was met with silence. The wind whispered against his face and he felt his hairs rise, it started to get windier the longer he sat out there.

He crossed his arms, huddling in as much warmth as possible, “You wouldn’t like this weather. It’s too cold for me and you always forget your sweater.”

The engraving of your name only stared back, hollow and sharp. How could he talk when something so emotionless replaced you.

You always had something to say, or a face to make at him whenever he talked. Something he could stare at for hours, it made his heart leap whenever he could see you smile, or throw a soft hit to his chest whenever he said something cheeky.

He quirked a smile. It was easier to pretend you were listening, like you were actually sitting beside him instead of him talking to this thick piece of cement.

Today wasn’t full of the joy that all of those commercials promised. All he saw were gifts he could have gotten you, and smiles he wouldn’t see again.

The gift giving and holiday cheer went by so slowly, he couldn’t help but torture himself by watching couples hold onto each other as they walked the streets.

———————-

He remembered the last Christmas you had, where the two of you laid together intertwined and jumbled together watching some cheesy Santa movie.

You had gotten a cold, forcing the both of you to stay in and avoid getting you any colder. To make up for the missed opportunity to walk the city, you settled on holding onto him on the couch, half way asleep.

He rubbed your shoulder, pressing a kiss to your temple and smiling when you pointed to your cheek. “One more.”

He complied.

“Another one here too,” you held up your hand to his face.

He grinned, placing a kiss on each knuckle and all over your hand until you laughed. By the time you did his lips were pursed onto your palms, taking them from his lips he leaned down to kiss you.

You wrapped your arms around his body, so full of love for him. Your arms were so lightly placed onto him, if he didn’t see it he wouldn’t have thought you were holding him.

He remembered the way you would pull away and hold your hand out waiting for his to reach yours halfway. Your silent way of saying ‘I love you.’

He connected your hands together, leaning his forehead onto yours, “I love you too.”

—————————

The wind whipped him from the warmth of his memories. A quick, silent reminder the past would only stay in his memories. He couldn’t hold you again, or feel you love him.

He placed the flowers, slipping his hands together the same way you did. “I miss you.” He smiled down at his hands, “This isn’t really the same.”

It was a silly sight, someone holding their own hand when no one was there. Someone talking to themselves, pretending there was a person listening to him. Imagining was the only way he could face the quiet presented to him.

It’s the only way he could distract himself from how cold that stone is compared to your hand. How much smaller your hands were compared to his.

It so unfair. That all of your warmth would be buried deep beneath him. Not listening to a word he said, as he mourned the person who used to be.

It was unfair that your belongings still covered every corner of his house. Your slippers neatly placed by the door, a reminder of you expecting to see another day. You expecting to come back home and sleep one more time.

There were lists of things you wanted to do together filling all kinds of drawers and cabinets, the first time he saw those notes since your passing he shut the drawer and didn’t open it since.

There were too many things you were going to do, so many tedious things he saw that hurt because no one thought you would go. Water bottles half way full, movie lists, unfinished projects you were so excited about.

They all taunted him every time he entered that house, but he didn’t have the strength to throw anything away. He could barley walk past your room without a sharp pain entering his chest.

What hurt was that your death wasn’t something he could control. It had nothing to do with curses, murder, or causes of other’s accidents. Nothing he could blame anyone for, nothing he could put all of his anger onto.

Due to health conditions, your heart stopped. Health conditions. There was nothing to prevent this, no warning just a drop to the floor and a funeral the next week.

It all went by so fast, he was still processing and he couldn’t grasp onto the idea of no one being the cause of your passing. That there was no one to blame.

Here he sat, out in the cold hard air trying to tell you all of the things you would do together some other day.

He swallowed back his tears so thickly he could feel a rumbling in his ears. It was starting to get cold and he still didn’t give you your present.

“Oh, right.” He pulled out a small wrapped gift. “I don’t know why I wrapped it.” He scratched his head.

He tore away at the paper until he revealed a tiny music box, he twisted it letting the keys pop and sort themselves out to play a soft song you always hummed.

“It gets quiet here, so you can play it when you get lonely.”

The keys continued to play as he placed he box next to the flowers. “I bought one for myself too, so don’t worry about when I’m by myself.”

He stood, giving the stone a light pat before placing a small gentle kiss. “I’ll see you later then, Goodnight (Y/n).”

[tojikai]

Strong emotions can be binding, but it can also be the caused of an unhealthy bad obsession. Which what Rie and Gojo in my opinion has. These type of emotions are short lasting and are very easy to break. They are in a honeymoon phase, but it won't last. Its like how twin flames are, they can be strong but that does not mean it is healthy. Besides they are both feeding each others delusions, Rie feeding Gojo that him and her hadn't done anything wrong while Gojo keeps feeding into the "i love you so much" bs with Rie even though he is constantly lying to her.

Poor Rie, she is just another victim of a manchild's game. Her emotions got the best of her as she has stoop so low for a man who does not even know if he loves her or loves someone else. Rie and Y/N reflects the song of Amy Winehouse "love is a losing game" as sadly both woman are being played by a man who has no respect for either both of them. A man who only truly cares about himself and his own needs and wants.

Gojo is only keeping both woman for the sake of guilt and pleasure. He has no signs that he can even truly love or genuinly love a person. He is confused and his confusion is the cause of his own downfall. To me no matter how many tears falls from his blue "angel" eyes, I believe he is just one selfish man who thinks he can have options. He cares about his own comfort. He does not want to let go of Y/N for he thinks he should be forgiven, he keeps Rie for his pleasure and also to have someone to run to when everyone else leaves him.

Y/N is the perfect example of being too nice is dumb. Im sorry, we love Y/N but at some point you really need to stop and think about yourself. Y/N at this point is just asking to be hurt. Y/N is the perfect example of why you shouldn't give your whole self to someone else and to leave love for yourself as well. A person who is too dependent on someone who can disappear just like that, is truly a person who is bound to get hurt, used, and crushed. And im sorry to say this, I hope she fr does not end with anyone. She needs to heal and find herself by herself. Her depending on someone will just be another cycle of heartbreak. To realize your own worth is far more rewarding than someone stating your own worth.

And Suguru going for Y/N is low blow. He knows how much she has gone through and how bad it has been. For him to not even get through his head that oh maybe my own pleasure shouldn't matter would be ehhh idk bad? I just feel that instead of trying to get with her, he should just be there for her while she tries to heal herself from what has happened to her. The whole idea of a new rs for Y/N is just so iffy. Realistically with how bad Y/N got, another rs could just ruin her more as she does not have a clue how to love herself first. It is quite obvious she is still very much dependent on Saturo.

Suguru and Shoko really aren't great of a friends tbh. How can you watch a friends bf cheat and not say anything about it? If it was to protect her it is such bs. They knew what has happened and they decided to hide it from her. Like what other anon said bystanders are just as worst. They watched her be stupidly inlove with Saturo, while watching him cheat on her as well. And what did they do? Nothing. They all a sudden became "saviour" besties when her life was so fucked up. Now they want to protect her? When they were also a piece that caused more damaged to her. They want to remove Gojo, when they were also actively letting Gojo destroy her by watching him cheat and hiding it from her. News flash, if you want to be good friend. Speak the damn truth, idc who you are protecting. People who are being lied to deserves to know even if it hurts or not. People who hide the truth, are again just as a big of liar than those who tell lies.

In P.M, everyone has guilt. And theyre all just competing to be the better person. Everyone in this story so far, has played on why Y/N's life got destroyed. And now all of her friends, gojo, rie has guilt as they all were a piece played to destroy Y/N's whole self.

i definitely get this, i see where you're coming from with the gojo and rie thing. she's craving love and affection and since she thought satoru could give it to her, she went for him despite knowing that they'd be trampling over someone's feelings and hurting them. it's really pitiful. and omg love is a losing game is one of my favorite songs by amy winehouse, i like how you compared their situation to it. and yn yes, she's too good for her own good, but she'll come around. we have to see how she'll handle herself when she gets out. as for suguru, it has not been clarified yet what his intentions with yn really are. about the cheating thing, they never really saw it happen. they just found out when satoru told them everything and since he told them that he explained everything to yn, they assumed that yn already knows and was just avoiding the topic, it was explained in chapter iv. all in all, wow i love this analysis, unbiased and rational. thank you so much for this, nonnie ~ !! i hope you're doing great <33

[ickymichi]

𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐔𝐏 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐒!

what’s this?: hcs of the scouts living together!

warnings: like 1 slightly nsfw one mentioned nothing serious, swearing, crack fic, modern au.

note: these hcs r probably the only thing keeping me going sidbsj. so wanted to share them with you guys, might make a more detailed part two who knows n e way, hope you enjoy! reblogs are greatly appreciated <3

© k1ttykawa 2021

first off this house will be the loudest, most chaotic place you’ll ever witness.

like they should have their own reality show.

so who’s in this hell hole?

well we’ve the two trios, eren mikasa & armin and jean connie & sasha.

six people in a house is gonna need a house cleaner to come over twice every week, and that mans name is levi. he usually doesn’t mind his job but when it comes to this house, he questions his life choices.

anyway! yeah what goes down? well let’s go through every room!

first off we’ll start with eren cause :p his room is like every other guys, sports achievement trophies on his shelf’s, signed jerseys hung on the wall and the same checkered sheets that he hasn’t changed in a while.

it’s always somehow always messy.

he does spend a considerable amount of time in their just playing on his play station, probably only comes out to get food.

and ofc he has l.e.d.s 🙄

next is armin! his is so quaint i love it

it just screams armin. books after books along his floor to ceiling book shelf, desk with every stationary you could think of. and is bed is always made and not a spec of dirt on the floor.

doesn’t spend too much time in his room and spends more time downstairs with the others.

mikasa my love <3 when i think of modern au mikasa, i think of goth!mikasa </3

her room is just such a viobe

so many plants!! and tapestries! she reads manga okay idc :( she has so much tho! her fav is romance </3 also has leds and a really funky full length mirror she found at a local store!

jean bo’s room is acc so nice. it has to be for all the girls he brings over

but yeah posters galore of his favourite anime (one piece, naruto, beck, death note etc) manga collector also!

also has his favourite band posters. he really likes posters k? doesn’t like to have plain walls

has those open wardrobe things, as well as an actual wardobe cause he has so much clothes.

and ofc, he got the leds

also he has this big ass tv and plays his music really loud off it.

connie my luuvvv!!

somehow, god only knows, mf got the biggest room when they were picking. really he just got the longest straw

anyway, his room pls, big ass bed, big ass tv, big ass wardobe AND he got a whole en-suite!

jean and eren and soo fcking jealous of his room pls.

he spends a lot of time on the play station with eren and jean. loves that he can hear eren screaming through his headphones and down the hall.

he also is a manga fanatic! but doesn’t have as much as jean yet! also don’t tell jean, but he stole a few volumes of bleach and he’s waiting for the day he noticed

also has his favourite artists and anime posters, won this really cool rengoku figure that he has in a glass case with his luffy and sukuna figures. yes, he loves collecting things.

as well as that he has an alcohol stand that has just bottles of beer to the most expensive tequila.

he has this speaker that quite literally shakes the floor and never doesn’t have music playing. even if it’s 2am that things going.

obviously got the leds

sasha </3 her room is just, you’d want to live in it that’s all i can say.

has like three mini fridges, two beside lockers all full of snacks and drinks.

her bed is the comfiest in the whole house, everyone comes into her room just to lay in it for a while.

has this really soft rug that she loves to lie on when watching tv or her laptop.

binges a lot of shows so she doesn’t come out of her room unless she wants to watch it downstairs with the others

got the leds‼️

now that we’ve seen all the bedrooms, what actually goes down in the facility?

connie or jean definitely went viral for those videos like these, they’re always on my fyp and i love it so he makes these like every few nights and they probably look like this:

armin is probably either studying or watching whatever’s on netflix

eren is most likely in his room on the ps or napping. gets annoyed every time connie comes in to record the tiktok -_-

sasha is either in the kitchen making something she saw on tiktok or in her room binging shows

mikasa is probably cleaning her room or a different part of the house or doing her make up/hair with her music v loud ofc <3

and jean and connie are either in each others rooms or fixing jeans car that keeps breaking down. with vv loud music ofc.

during the day though is like the same except the boys are probably out in the back garden playing basketball while mikasa and sasha watch on the grass catching some rays 😎

music is a reacquiring theme here bc there’s always someone blaring music.

also, jean is always bringing girls home from when him and eren go out and sasha n armin will just watch him run upstairs with her like 🧍‍♀️ 🧍 there goes another one

connie is forever scaring anyone and recording it. he has about 10 montages on tiktok of him hiding in a cupboard or even just around the corner and scaring someone. most times it’s jean cause he a scaredy-cat. did it to eren and he gave him a black eye out of ‘reflexes’

they love spending nights together sitting on the couch and watching different movies or just sitting together and talking.

dinner is spent at the table together every night and it’s honestly everyone’s favourite time of the day.

omg cleaner levi who comes to clean twice a week, connie gets on his nerves soo bad pls😭 he’s always asking him questions and being like “yo big man you need a hand?”

jean and connie spend a lot of time in each other’s rooms just sitting on the bed and scrolling through tiktok and sometimes eren joins and though the two won’t admit it, jean and eren love it when he does cause they have suuuch laughs pls i’m talking tears and sore sides.

[blushnote]

↳ requested | 1.6k words

↳ dom!wonwoo smut

a/n: HELLO. i’m sure everyone is wondering what’s going on and WHY i’ve been absent for a few months. put simply: things got hectic and i needed a break! i’m not saying i’ll jump back into being completely active again, but that i’m going to come on as often as i can! (which might be every few days or so! i apologize!!)

as a treat for everyone - this features rich girl wonwoo! <3 

wonwoo stands at the street pole, conversing with his friends. the bar is unusually crowded. mostly likely because it’s a friday and there isn’t much else the townspeople would rather do than get plastered, forgetting the atrocities of work. his friend extends a box of cigarettes to wonwoo, offers him one, but he shakes his head.

since getting involved with you, wonwoo has attempted to forfeit smoking. it has always been something he’s done to pass the time at the street corner. plus, he likes the idea of blowing a big, stinging cloud right into someone’s face when they give him attitude. 

instead wonwoo suckles on a lollipop that tastes like an artificially sweet strawberry, pushes up the bridge of his glasses, and folds some silvery hair under his beanie. he knows it’s about the right time for you to be returning from that dinner party your parents forced you into attending.

as wonwoo’s friend exaggerates a tale about getting into a fist-driven confrontation at a bus stop last week, someone strutting by on the packed street bumps wonwoo’s shoulder.

“choose a better place to stand.” the stranger rumbles, agitated.

wonwoo flicks up his middle finger indifferently. “fuck off.” he grunts, the fog of his breath appearing in the night air.

he’s feeling sort of agitated himself. your parents have tethered you to a leash lately, forcing you to all these fancy gatherings and opening ceremonies and dinners. to put it frankly – wonwoo misses you. your laugh, your eyes, the texture of your skin, your voice in his ear. he’s been wanting an excuse to get his hands all over you. every single inch.

that’s when he hears the ding in his jacket pocket. looking away from the dramatic enactment involving his friend driving a fist into his palm, wonwoo checks his phone to see a text from you. a series of images.

23:28 // JPEG.1034

23:28 // JPEG.1035

23:28 // JPEG. 1036

the three pictures load. he chokes on his breath.

23:28 // i know u don’t like when i spoil my lingerie but.

23:28 // don’t i look so cute :( so fuckable?? im srry but I had to :(

his teeth crack the strawberry lollipop into sugary shards in his mouth. that lace is squeezing your flesh in all the right places. the picture with your fingers splayed teasingly over your underwear, hiding your core, it’s enough to make him shudder, salivate even. he’s officially ignoring his friend’s story by tapping a reply, fiddling with the thin stick in his mouth.

(ww) 23:30 // u free now? head to my place.

he receives an answer immediately.

23:30 // hmmm why?

(ww) 23:30 // u know why. don’t act like such a brat.

already, wonwoo can sense the desire form inside him. pounding almost. like a second heartbeat. you’re usually compliant and bending to his carnal whims. maybe all this time away from each other has you forgetting just how well wonwoo can fuck that stubbornness out.

23:30 // it’s new. i don’t want u ripping anything!!

(ww) 23:30 // idc.

23:30 // so mean!! not even gonna let u touch me now :-)

(ww) 23:30 // yeah. ok. we’ll see about it then.

after sliding his phone back in his pocket, wonwoo glances briefly in through the bar window. he sees a bartender pour a glass full of ice cubes before sloshing in a surge of alcohol. at that, wonwoo gets an idea. when his friends question about why he’s leaving so suddenly, he smirks.

“need to teach someone how to behave.” wonwoo shrugs before jogging quickly across the street.

“i’m not gonna tell you again. keep your fuckin’ thighs spread nice and wide for me or else i won’t let you cum – not even once. you understand?”

a harsh dip in your stomach suggests the breath you just inhaled. after a moment of silence, he hears you comply, and watches with his hungry, intent gaze as your legs part open for him. wonwoo has been teasing you with a bowl of ice cubes. at first, he held them to your nipples, had you whimpering into his mouth while he simultaneously rubbed his tongue against yours. but the real fun began when he introduced the ice cubes to your lower region. it was a very different punishment compared to his past endeavours, a tantalizing one.

wonwoo returns the cube to the nook of your inner thigh, then creeps it slowly toward your core. you’re beginning to tremble with the restraint required to not snap your legs shut. the ice cube ghosts transiently up your slit, a contact you had yet to experience, and a beautiful gasp tears from your lungs. he swears that you leak even more onto the sheets.

he takes the cube away, then drags his warm tongue from the bottom of your pussy right to the top, delivering a slow, flat lick which tastes sweet and cold and makes him so unbelievably dizzy with how much he loves it.

“w-wonwoo, please, pl-please keep going.” you stutter, opening your thighs even wider to invite his tongue.

he shakes his head. “what else did i tell you? don’t ask me to do anything. you’ll lie there and you’ll fuckin’ take it.” smiling, wonwoo issues a tight grip on the ice cube and presses it right into your clit. you whine sharp and loud, your hands traveling all over your body in confusion, not sure if it’s more pleasure than pain, or a hot mix of both.

“or are you still interested in acting like such a brat, hm?” wonwoo utters in his deep voice. “ like a smug little princess who thinks she can tease me whenever she wants and she’ll still get my cock all the way inside her? nice and full, just how she likes it. is that it, babygirl?”

he feels the ice melt under his fingers. you can hardly piece together a response, just a very incoherent, “no wonwoo” as tears start slipping down your cheeks. wonwoo takes the cube away, then massages your clit with his thumb, warming you up slowly. a few jolts pass through your body. he can tell you’re falling apart inside with how badly you want to cum, though wonwoo had strictly told you to hold it. he rubs and rubs and rubs, barking at you to control yourself, your pussy so slippery with arousal that it’s running all down your skin and wetting the bed.

right when he feels you’re about to snap, wonwoo completely removes his touch. you wail at that, suckle in a shaky breath and cry his name.

“please, wonwoo! i-i’m sorry, m’soso sorry! i’m sorry for acting so bratty and sending those pictures, t-teasing you like that! but i just c-ccan’t take this anymore. treat me however you want, but please let me cum!”

he’s truly missed the sound of you begging for him. his cock twitches in his pants, reminding him of how hard he currently is. each time you cry the boy’s name in such a lewd manner, there’s another surge of pleasure and he aches even more, to the point where he could cum just from touching himself over his clothes. still, wonwoo must ensure you’ve really learned your lesson. so, he offers you a deal. he’ll get to watch you pleasure yourself with the ice cube until he cums.

and so wonwoo sits in a chair based at the end of the bed, a hand stuffed down his pants, watching you swirl an ice cube at your sensitive core. he guides you every now and then: “hold it right there, pretty baby. let it melt all the way down. that’s it, sweetheart. n-now rub it, okay? f-finger yourself too. nnrgh, f-fuck. fuck you sound so wet. m’gonna c-cum—”

his strokes lash faster until wonwoo’s head rolls back against the chair, his eyes blinking shut while he chases his high. he hears you continue to whine as he cums, his cock throbbing in his hand, still so hard and heavy. in fact, wonwoo requires a moment just to breathe and let the heat circulate properly through his body.

with his fingers covered in the sticky mess of his cum, wonwoo approaches the bed again, fingering it as deep as he can inside you. he’s unable to remove his gaze from the filthy sight. there’s something so raw and intimate about watching his own seed getting pumped into you that sets his whole body aflame. he decides to let you orgasm as well, stimulating your g-spot consistently, letting you clamp down tight and ride his hand until you’ve got a full fix.

wonwoo supposes he’s done his job.

“i don’t think i’ll ever be able to look at an ice cube the same way again.” you laugh, sitting back against the headboard, tucked into his t-shirt.

drawing a warm washcloth between your thighs, wonwoo blinks at you, a very sly grin forming on his mouth. he plants a kiss on your nose.

“good. means it worked.” the boy says.

he folds the cloth over and finishes the last of his cleaning, ensuring there’s nothing more of his fluids that are still leaking out or anything sticking from your orgasm. grabbing your overnight bag off the floor, wonwoo pulls out a fresh pair of underwear and helps you slide into them. your lingerie sits in a pile off to the side, a few lace straps ripped.

“sorry about your little outfit.” wonwoo apologizes, staring at you earnestly. “it was pretty. you look good in everything.” he squeezes your hip and presses a soft kiss to your lips.

“it’s okay.” you murmur. “i’ll order something even better. and i’ll surprise you with it. maybe for your birthday. sound good?”

“mmhm.” wonwoo purrs, pulling you down with him to cuddle up close for the night.

“as long as i can take it off you, sweetheart, i’m fine with that.”

[ameliasbitvh]

ahhhh! thank you all soso much for the 300 followers! i just hit 200 last week?! how are there 300 of you? i honestly don’t know, but i started this account as a place to just read smut and then i decided to post on here. the reason why my first post was angst was because i was being a slut for angst to feel something in those few moments- okay i’ll stop myself right there. for this milestone i’m going to do mutual appreciation for the moots i’ve interacted with the most so far! (if we’re moots and u wanna interact pls do, i’m not scary!)

okayy first up,

@underappreciated-spoon-321

i love you so much bby, i could not believe it when you followed me. i was legit crying happy tears and i specifically remember you followed me after i posted “needy” random lol.

your writing is immaculate, absolutely lovely. ur smut *chefs kisses* i love that you put up with my shit photos that i send you and that you actually ask for more- but it baffled me when you first interacted with me, this was my reaction

*deep breath* “omfg! (ur username) just interacted with me, wtf do i do?!” also ur nick name reminds me of belly from dear, draco.

i’m not writing a lot, bc for your sleepover i wrote you a damn paragraph 😭 but i love u sm belly!! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

@dracoskinks

ARI! i love talking to you, bc i can talk about anything and when i say anything i mean anything. like kinks, porn, random draco scenarios, etc… you are one of the funniest people i have seen on this app.

ur blunt and funny at the same time, it just makes it more fun to talk to you. ur smut is soso good, bc i don’t find a lot of smut with a dom!reader and sub!draco.

i remember you followed me, so out of curiosity i checked out your blog and saw your piss kink fic and that did it for me. after that i followed you back and we became moots ajnwja. when ur first account got terminated you scared me so fucking much, because i thought you were going to leave tumblr forever. don’t. ever. play. like. that. again. i’m glad we became moots bc i fucking love you <3

@opalsheart

I LOVE YOU SM! i think u were the first moot that i interacted with in direct messages, bc you had tea to spill, and ever since than we’ve been #4lifers. you send me edits and hate on t*m felton with me on instagram. you were the first mutual to know what i looked like lmaoo. u r an absolute goddess, bestie, like what- i know that you can pull anyone you want, so stop playing when you talk about someone.

even though we have a fucking 12 hour time difference, we still find time to talk to each other. it is so fun talking with you and the fact that when we talk it’s night for one of us. you let me send that stupid tik tok of ed sheeran and t*m felton to you and it probably haunts your dreams now ajnwajsj-

i appreciate that you study ur MF ass off for your exams, bc i could never. and you even send me those cute memes when i wake up- also we better be watching those true crime documentaries, bc i’m still waiting. idc if we have a time difference :) anyways ILY SM ELLIE !! <3

@laceycallisto

okay- where do i even get started with this. we first interacted when i reblogged that draco fan fic and we reblogged talking about how desperate we were trying to find that iconic fic. and i forgot that the creator could see all the reblogging we were doing- you texted me directly about adding my name into your tags, which obviously i agreed to. then we just started talking about random shit like how we were superior because we were june geminis. or how we talked about being in love with remus lupin.

i have vivid flash backs of how your remus fic hurt me. i cried my false lashes off proof reading janajaj- bestie- you’ve seen me cry ajnwja- your writing is ethereal, i don’t know how you can see that? your so nice too, like girly u gave me ur netflix within like a day of knowing each other 💀 we watched bridgerton in two mother fucking sittings. we ate that bridgerton hoe up!

all ur input on the scenes were so funny like the “with child” and “dicking” comments 😭 i love how it’s so easy to talk to you about everything, like how dumb i am- even talking about the privilege of being poc and not burning in the sun. bruh u even let me tag u in dumb tik tok videos, like what?! and i think your the only mutual i have that’s in the same time zone as me… also we better binge the next season. but ily sm, ur like my older sister, even if u say ur life is shitty 😭 <3

@dracomalfoys-wh0re

honestly, kacia. i owe a lot to you for my account being “found” or whatever, bc you reblogged a fic of mine, i’m pretty sure it was “common room” and that’s when i started getting notes and followers najajwjwj- you might not know that but i do 💀 i will forever remember that.

you literally were one of the first accounts ever- to follow me. and i won’t lie, i went crazy when u followed me because i love your fics so much! you are so funny and blunt too i swear 😭

and can we talk about your tom riddle fic? like?!the fact that you really showed tom’s true personality and character. every world had me enthralled further into the fic, the way you wrote him is exactly how i think tom riddle would act towards his s/o. his toxicity and gaslighting is too accurate.

moving on from the discussion of your fic, which is amazing, ily sm babe!!

@yoooespinosa

we’ve interacted a few times and when u texted me directly saying that you thought i was sweet, i literally went, “omg- people think i’m sweet” in a good way, not bad jkwajjw- can i just get started on your writing, because oh. my. fucking. god. it is the most captivating and heart breaking thing i’ve ever seen- the emotions that you put into every word completes the entire fic. every angst piece that you have written, made me cry or made something inside me just twist with sadness. it is truly lovely and magnificent.

how do ur fics not get thousands of notes? because everyone should see what you write, it’s unfair that others haven’t seen your fics. when u explained your dream to me, i swear you practically wrote a whole fic 😭

i remember u said that you wanted to do a face reveal, but we’re scared. bestie what are you scared of? you look like an ANGEL!! and if anyone were to disagree, they are obviously blind. but ily bestie <3

@o-rion-sta-r

BESTIE BAE ORION i love you so much!interacting with you is honestly so fun. and i remember like literally yesterday we were trying to figure out ari’s time zone and we were freaking out. you, ari, and me all have a fucking time difference 😭 it sucks so much!

at least every day you ask me how my days been and i think that’s so sweet, because before i got on tumblr people didn’t ask that question. i appreciate that you ask me that and just random questions in general, because i love interacting with you so much. and you should start writing bby! i will reblog anything you write, also ily sm <3

@ilygw

we don’t talk a lot, but you seem like a fun person! i love seeing all the edits you post on here, bc honestly i need more ferret boy content. i know there is a lot, but i feel like i’ve seen all of them. until i see you posting a new edit and i’m like, “okay… i guess i haven’t seen every draco edit” but that’s all i have lol, ly!!

@arcaneslut

to be honest, you seemed so intimidating to me. i know you said you’re not, but to me you seemed really scary even though i knew you weren’t 😭 i just interacted with you recently and you are so sweet i swear! i love all ur fics, especially “and then i felt nothing” because when i read this fic you better believe i was crying so hard- to the point where i couldn’t breath- everything was written so beautifully, i couldn’t believe it.

i love how one thing we share in common is losing our phones 💀 but i just wanted to say thank you for explaining the whole sleepover and celebration things to me! even tho we just started interacting i already love u!!

moots bc i’m in love with all of them: @just-a-smol-spoon @dreamy-clousds @dracoskinks @unedibledaisyduck @thatsassyhufflepuff @a-aexotic @l0vely-lupin @gothboutique @wolfstar4lifee @littlemissnoname13 @deatthfairy @arcaneslut @ladyvesuvia @laceycallisto @dracossweetprincess @the-lonely-poet-loves-to-weep @realityblocked @harmqnia @yoooespinosa @opalsheart @lilscloud @cupids-crystals @mellifluousart @lunas-kisses @malfoysmainb @klauscarolove @crystxlss @beforeoursunsets @marrymetheonott @queeriacs @electriclocean @dlmmdl @o-rion-sta-r @sfdlm @ilygw @desiredmalfoy @underappreciated-spoon-321 @draco-and-tom @hellounicorn @mugglesthesedays @dracomalfoys-wh0re

if i didn’t tag u it’s bc i can’t tag more than 50 blogs :(

[lvlyhao]

『127′s ideal type』

headcanons, NCT 127

A/N: je suis back~ in these headcanons i talk about the type of person i imagine each member with, along with some of the traits i think they wouldn’t be too fond of. i did NOT include physical traits (ex: “would like a short/tall/blonde s/o”) because i really don’t know them??? lmao also that kind of thing could be a bit damaging to someone’s self esteem, and i want yall to know ur perfect & beautiful so

mark and hyuck will be included in dream’s version of this, and sicheng will be in wayv’s :)

today’s gif theme is just random gifs i like bc idc, there’s no aesthetic

as always, this is gender-neutral

IF YOU LIKE MY WORK PLEASE REBLOG IT AS WELL AS LIKING IT T^T

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡) and if you squint really hard angst (❆) bc of some REALLY small things that for me are not actual angst but oh well

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: i think none?? if you read this and find something you think should be here let me know please!!!

word count: 1.5K

pairing: nct 127 members x reader (includes taeil, taeyong, johnny, yuta, doyoung, jaehyun, jungwoo)

disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Taeil

I see Taeil getting with someone who’s not only mature (personality-wise, actual age doesn’t matter) but also very determined and decisive. He’d like a person that doesn’t change their mind about things too often, learns well from their mistakes and is just all-around balanced. Other traits that I think he’d look for: politeness, a MUST; grounded; good at giving advice. Pretty much a twin-flame of his.

I think he’d find it cute if they think in a detail-oriented way and appreciate the small things in life. A positive, grateful mentality would be SO attractive to him, I swear. 

One of his deal breakers would most likely be excessive jealousy and possessiveness. He trusts you and your love for him, and I think he’d feel distraught if you were constantly questioning the relationships he has with other people (friends, co-workers, fans, etc.)

Last important thing: needs a person that can take a hit. He’s probably looking for someone he can spend the rest of his days with, so a quitter just isn’t good for that. There will be difficult moments in the future and he needs to know they won’t give up on him and on the life he chose.

Taeyong

I think Taeyong would like a calm person that knows how to take control of the relationship. He probably feels tired sometimes from leading a group of 23 people, so I can imagine he’d be thrilled if he was able to not worry at all when he’s around his partner. He trusts they’re capable of dealing with any problems that may arise and keep their feet on the ground. Bonus points if they have a good relationship with themselves.

By that I mean: you know how people say you can’t truly love others until you love yourself? Yeah, that. He’s a person like any other, and there are times when he struggles with self-love, but he needs someone that doesn’t hate themselves, or he’ll simply go crazy. With his career come so many rumours and moments that tear at his confidence… he just doesn’t need a person that has to be convinced every single day that they’re worthy of the good things in life. 

I’d say, in general, all he asks for is someone that can watch out for themselves. He’d take care of them too, but he’d like it SO much if just for once in his life he’s the one being cared for. Would just melt on the spot if you have that caring, almost parental instinct in you. Gods, yes. That’s all I can say.

Johnny

I can see him being with a very bright, smart person. He’d like someone that comes from a different background so he could learn more about their life—whether that means the country they were born in or their field of work. I think he would appreciate a very laid back person that doesn’t get stressed too often and won’t make fun of him for his bad jokes. Also, doesn’t like people that try to play him. Honesty above all.

He’d like it if they are super curious and creative, too. Picking up new hobbies and interests is something he’d be up to anytime, and it doesn’t matter what it is either. He’d give anything a try—from knitting to marine biology, no questions asked.

Something he’d dislike is if the person is too materialistic. It’s not like he’s a completely spiritual being and lives with 0 detachments to objects but he’s a firm believer in what Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said: what is essential is invisible to the eye. And, you know, what you truly find essential is up to you; it can mean family, friends, love, hope, all of that… he just wants you to love life itself as much as he does.

Yuta

He’d probably like one of the two drastic variants: a very gentle, sweet person or someone who’s on his level of flirtatiousness and boldness. Wouldn’t mind any, but he needs a strong personality, either way, you know? No blandness here. 

Something very attractive to him is being involved in social issues and caring for the world around you. Very sexc, yes, and also likes people that make others smile.

Something that would make him quite literally give up on someone is the excessive fear of change, or just the will to remain in their comfort zone at all costs. He earns for a person that wants to live life to its fullest. If not they’re not ride-or-die to that level, then he hopes they at least accompany and support him in all of the things he wants to do. 

One thing that is very tied to that is his dislike for know-it-alls. He lives in such a diverse scenario that it’s just dumb for him to think someone would ever be capable of knowing every piece of information on everything that’s out there. He’s fine with people making mistakes, but if they can’t admit to that or admit they don’t know something he just gets pissed off. So, yeah, he’d avoid stuck-ups.

Doyoung

He’d like someone very loyal and fair, who treats people with respect but calls them out if they ever have to. I think he’d prefer a person that is naturally a deep thinker and wouldn’t lose their mind over small disagreements. 

Much like Johnny, he likes that intellectual side of yours, and when I say that I don’t mean like “ah, he’d want to date a math genius” or something. No, no. I’m referring to all types of intellectuality and intelligence. The thing for him is simply using your brain and being proud of it. He would just dislike a person that kind of lives life on autopilot, you know?

He’d like it if they’re interested or professionally involved with music somehow and would consider their opinions in his career. He wouldn’t mind if their taste is hugely different from his, though. It’s alright if pop music is not your favourite or if you have no idea who EXO is (lol). All he wants is to see the world through your eyes too, in all aspects of life including this one.

Will also love you forever if you side with him when he’s being teased by the others, because, c’mon, it’s always 22 people against poor, defenceless Doyoung. Please don’t join them, he’s begging you—

Jaehyun

This is very, very clear to me but he needs to be with an independent person. He’s quite sentimental and he has his more romantic moments, sure, but he wants someone that can give him the space he needs when he needs it. A person that’s constantly begging him for attention would be way more of a burden than anything else.

Also, he’s 100% alright with someone that has a very explicit and loud love language (like saying “I love you” 300 times a day) but he’s not like that, and he needs them to see that. Jaehyun could NOT be with a person that doesn’t appreciate the love he shows in the little things, like making coffee in the morning, and if they ever question the way he feels… yeah, not good. He’d feel misunderstood and that’s a big no-no.

He’d find it cute if they’re bubbly or just very youthful but is also capable of falling for an old soul that shares his interests in things like classical music and vinyls. I don’t think he’d ever get with someone that's kind of a tech addict, though, idk why but that’s quite clear to me. Always being on your phone or caring too much about social media would probably make him feel like you’re not grateful for the things you have around you, in real life. So, yeah, not attractive, bestie.

Jungwoo

Jungwoo is a very, very, very sweet person and he needs someone who’s also like that. He wouldn’t care if that’s there for everyone to see, in the sense that they’re not shy about it, or if it’s a part of them that only a couple of close people know. As long as it’s there, he’s happy.

Aside from that, I think he’s fully capable of falling in love with quite literally anyone. He can see the beauty in all types of people, from all places, backgrounds, races, and just—anyone. He’s just so full of love for people, ah I can’t even. He’s too good for this world.

Some things that could, however, push him away from getting to know someone: a negative way of thinking, being too traditionalistic, and too much scepticism. He’s fine with people that like to honour the past and their roots but like, you’ve gotta keep up with the world you live in and accept that things change. I think that’s very tied to how much he likes defying masculine standards, too. 

The scepticism thing is quite simple: he can handle teasing just fine but if they’re constantly making fun of him for wearing his heart on his sleeve or being a bit goofy, he’d feel kind of betrayed.

---

final notes: this is the 3rd nct work i’m posting here and i’m already writing more, so i think it’s time i set up a masterlist, a fic rec blog and a tag list. if you want to be tagged in my future fics, let me know (dm, comments, anything) :)

[mx-barnes]

Soulmate Au 2/?

Bucky x F!Reader

Summary: When you turn 18 you get the name of a song on your wrist. That is the song you and your soulmate share. It is also how you can communicate with them.

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: None really.

A/N: Sorry I know it’s short. I have been experiencing a lack of ambition to write. I also felt like I had a duty to post something cause I haven’t posted in a while. Ok I also know the song wasn’t out in the forties but idc ok it’s an amazing song and it reminds me of Bucky and if I am having trouble sleeping I listen to it. Feedback appreciated. All my own writing. Gif not my own

Chapter 1 Masterlist

The alarm clock on your end table reads 6:30 am 30 minutes from before your alarm is supposed to wake you up. It’s not that you didn’t welcome the fact that you were up early than usual but you silently curse yourself hoping to fall back into the pleasant dream you were having. Although you had wanted to meet him in real life, not just the dream world you knew that it wouldn’t happen. If he had stayed hidden from you for this long don’t think you are going to find him in a day. You wish you just had something to go off of. Pulling you out of your thoughts is your cat needling into you. Although he was annoying Alpine loved you. You remember the day you got him. It was soaking rain and you had found a box on the side of the road. You decide to pull over to pick up the garbage lying around on the ground. You pull over the road and go to lift up the box and it was unusually heavy you check inside. To your surprise, there was a small white kitten looking at you with blue eyes. From that day on he was the only man in your life he probably senses that your soulmate is in the picture now so he is being an even bigger attention whore.

You may want to go back to the dream realm but your adult life calls. You roll out of your bed and wrap a small blanket you had at the end of your bed because although you had to get up it didn't mean you didn't have to be warm. You treck your way out of your bedroom and into the kitchen. With your blanket draped over your shoulders you silently make your breakfast. A simple bowl of cheerios. Nothing too extravagant but a simple meal. People may say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day but you have always disagreed with that statement. Give you some coffee and you are good to go. Although that was very particularly healthy you started eating actual food at breakfast. Once you finished your bowl you put it in your sink to be later washed. You walk back into your bedroom and enter your bathroom. You strip and step into the shower. Ket the warm water flows down around your back as you listen to music and sing along. Quietly f course even though you wanted to scream the lyrics. Once you had finished your shower you exited wrapped in a towel and changed.

Slipping into a white low v cut shirt and some beige pants. Walking back into the bathroom quickly dry and straighten your hair leaving just a little bit of wave because you can't fully straighten it. You pull your hair back into a high ponytail leaving two pieces out to frame your face. Quickly, you grab your purse, phone, and keys. Turning to wake towards the door you lock the door and leave to work.

It wasn't a long drive to your job. You worked at Stark Industries. It wasn't the same after Tony died but you still appreciated working there. You and Pepper had become quick friends after bumping into each other in the hallways one day. You were ecstatic for her when she got promoted to CEO. Almost as her first act, she had you instated as her assistant. She gave you fair hours and you didn't mind. There wasn't ever any awkwardness in be between the two of you. Pepper never acted like she was better than you and thank god for that. She was one of the best people you knew she was having a hard time dealing with Tony's death but that was understandable. She had lost her husband and became a single mother. She had the avengers and Happy but it wasn't the same. She had offered for you to meet them time and time again but every time you declined. It's not that you didn't want to meet them. It's just sometimes it's better to never meet your heroes.

By the time you got to the office Pepper was already locked away in her office. You knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in," a voice from behind the door says.

You walk in and notice Pepper sitting at her desk as she normally does but her cheeks are tear stained and her eyes are red. "Hey, you are not supposed to be here before me. You should be at home with Morgan."

"Happy has her. I just couldn't be in that house anymore. Hell, I can't even be in New York without thinking about him. He saved this city. He saved the world. I know that it's silly and selfish of me to hide away from my daughter but I just... I look at her Y/n and I see him. I see his smile, his curiosity, I see the playboy he was before he settled down. All I see is him in her and I-"

"Hey, we can get through this together. Me and you." You walked up to her and hugged her. She hugged you back her arms not letting go. You rub her back soothingly. "It's okay it's all gonna be ok."

"You're right. You're right I just got to get this done. Power through this. This feeling I am experiencing will pass."

You hesitate not knowing what to say. Finally, you figure you should tell her. "I saw him."

"Him? Who him?" She straightened up as she questioned.

"My soulmate. I don't know what made me. I was even planning on it but then I got this feeling that I should try it and well I saw him."

"What'd he say?"

"He said he was sorry. He was sorry but he couldn't love me first. I was desperate so I tried again the next night last night. He said..." You were on the verge of tears "He said he was sorry. That he didn't want to hurt me. That he would agree to see me. Only in the dream realm for right now but it's better than nothing. God, he was gorgeous. His eyes sparkled like ice. I just wish I wish I could prove to him how much I love him even if he doesn't want to let me in. I want him to know he deserves all the love in the world.”

“Y/n you got to tell him. You remember how I was when I found out that my boss was my soulmate,” Pepper's eyes dropped sadness filling her eyes. “Listen it doesn’t matter how cold it closed off he seems you need to make the decision if you want to keep him in your life. If all he wants is the dream world then you move on you’ve got to be the one to make the first move.”

“Your right. I should be allowed to be happy.”

<~>

You were a dream come true. After he pushed you away from you you accepted gratefully back into your arms.

Bucky would spend the rest of his life making it up to you. He couldn’t believe his luck. Back in the 40s when he first tried he couldn’t find you then he was shipped off to war so he decided not to try again just encase but here he was almost 80 years later with this gorgeous soulmate. God, he was a sap. He was ready to change for you.

He had told you that you couldn’t meet him yet and that he only could see you in the dream realm for right now. He knew it was the right call even if it hurt him. Even if he wanted to hold you in the real world but he couldn’t not yet. He needed to fix himself before he let you in. He couldn’t let his past hurt you. You were far too important to him. That’s what he did.

He started taking his court-mandated therapy seriously. He needed help and he couldn’t do it on his own. So when he went to meet you that night he told you about it. He went over to his record player and search for the record. Finally, he found it. A picture of Harry James on the cover he slid the disk out of its paper case. Carefully get placed on the record player and dropped the needle. He knew there were better ways to play the song but he found comfort playing it on vinyl like he had many many years ago.

He practically ran back to his little spot on the floor where he slept and slowly the feeling of falling began to happen.

Once the feeling stopped he looked around to find his childhood home once again. He called out still a bit queasy “Hello,”

No response. That was weird. So he called out once again “Hello,”

Again no response he started to panic. Maybe you didn’t come tonight. Maybe you decide he wasn’t worth it.

A voice broke the anxiety building. “Hey, sorry it took me a bit longer today.”

“Yeah no that’s fine I understand.” He smiles slightly.

“So how was your day?” You asked. God, there was something so intoxicating about your voice. It was smooth and angelic. He could listen to it for the rest of his life.

“I mean it was good. I decided to start taking my therapy more seriously I want to get better for you. How was yours?”

“That’s great. My day was ok I guess I mean I was real busy at work.” You moved closer to him his heart picked up.

“Yeah, yeah I guess it good,” Bucky stuttered. I mean you were incredibly gorgeous but he felt safe in your presence not wanting to lose a second of time with you. Slowly his head started spinning and being brought back to reality “Listen I don’t have much time left we meet here again same time tomorrow. Deal?” His voice hopefully searching your eyes for any sign of rejection to his great fortune there wasn’t any.

“Deal.” you stepped up closer to him kissing him on the lips before he was rudely pulled back into reality. He sat up with a start (like gif).

Groaning and grumbling about how it was too soon to be pulled out of and if he only had more time with you.

Chapter 3

Taglist:

@oceanmermaidwitch

[wokestraightpuffy]

Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡

YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p

as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D

ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)

* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3

* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol

* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing

* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment

* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable

* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself

* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER?  the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3

* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D

* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.

HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd

* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before

* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics 

* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever. 

* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO) 

* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3

 * she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm

* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3

* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D

* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc

* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot. 

* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj

* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask

* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns

i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U

if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj

[skiller0dani]

Lovebirds | Five Hargreeves

M A S T E R L I S T TUA Masterlist

fluff requested requests info

In case you missed this post, I wanted to say I will write for Five. But it’ll be Imagines, blurbs, but N O T smut. Aiden Gallagher is underaged, and I most definitely am an adult and have no interest in writing about him in sexual situations. So request things. I’ll write fluff, angst, long pieces (10,000 words plus even), short pieces, idc! As long as it’s not sexual I will write it for Five. 

For most of my Five writings I am aging him up to 16, unless I say otherwise. 

You didn’t hate him, even if it really seemed like you did. 

You actually preferred Five believed you hate him because in reality you had an enormous, ridiculously intense crush on him. While you may be 16, you didn’t behave like a 16 year old girl. You weren’t reading GQ magazines to look at ‘cute guys’, you weren’t painting your damn nails and preparing for prom. Instead you were sat in the Hargreeves mansion with the resident Seance, watching as he drank himself to unconsciousness. You were an orphan, or so that’s what you told everybody. Truth be told both of your parents were drug addicts and drunks, you haven’t lived with them for nearly a year. Clearly they haven’t noticed as the police have yet to be called. You were on the streets for a while before someone stumbled upon you, literally. Klaus literally tripped over you. He decided to take you in, and so far the Hargreeves siblings had been quite welcoming. Well all except for one. 

You and Five seemed to butt heads since the first day you moved here. He greeted you with nothing more than a curt nod as he brushed past you and up the stairs. Five had been nothing but distant, cold, and borderline cruel from the very second you arrived. You tried not to let it bother you, but it did. Vanya told you that this is just how he is, and despite his cruel behavior and decided hatred of you, you couldn’t stop your heart from racing when he came in the room. You couldn’t stop your palms from sweating when he looked in your direction, even if it was nothing more than a brief glance. When your eyes connected with his it felt like fireworks were erupting in your chest, and you almost always flushed under his gaze. You usually covered it with a scowl before he could notice the blush on your cheeks. 

Five was always so damned indifferent about everything, and he always evaded questions regarding his emotions. He almost pretended he didn’t have feelings, the only thing he outright admitted when it came to his emotions, was that he loves his siblings. In truth, you think a therapist would have a field day with him. You leaned back against the couch opposite of Klaus, with a lazy smile on his face. The sun had set hours ago, “what’s with you and Five? Jesus most days I’m worried you’re going to kill each other one of these days,” Klaus grumbles, shuffling around on the couch causing the alcohol to spill a little. You giggle as he groans, wiping his wet hand on the back of the couch. “We just don’t get along.” You shrug, you honestly have no idea what his problem is. You always tend to get hostile when your heart is involved almost like a defense mechanism. 

“We don’t get along because you’re a reckless know-it-all with a big mouth and absurd opinions.” Five chimes in from the doorway. You grit your teeth at his smug smile. “You know, I always thought being an entitled narcissist was a choice, but when it comes to you I think it’s the default option.” You snap back, with a victorious grin spreading over your face. Five’s smile drops and a look of utter annoyance takes it’s place. His hands are slid into his pockets as he stands over your sat position on the couch, “Y/N you’re projecting your daddy issues on me again.” He says, feigning a look of pity. You slam your hand on the arm of the couch as you stand, and Klaus curls into the couch, bottle in his hands as he watches with his eyebrows raised. “Saying I have daddy issues is assuming I give a shit about him. Which I don’t.” You hiss, feeling anger beginning to boil under your skin. 

“Actually, I think you need to have a dad to have daddy issues with. You’ve been gone for what? 10 months? And no word from either of your parents? Doesn’t sound like they care.” Five says with one of his indifferent shrugs. Feeling emotion rush up on you, you raise your hand and firmly slap Five across the cheek. Tears spill over your cheeks as he stands in shock, “I already know that nobody on this planet loves me. Thanks for the reminder.” You snap through tears before you quickly exit the library. Klaus pinches the bridge of his nose as he looks at Five, “you’re a jerk.” Is all he says before taking another drink from the bottle in his hands. Five turns out of the library, his cheek stinging and his heart becoming swallowed by guilt. 

If he were to be honest with you and himself he would tell you that he doesn’t hate you. Quite the contrary actually, as he’d been harboring a massive crush on you from the moment Klaus carried your sleeping body into the Academy. You looked so beautiful and delicate asleep, you looked like an angel. Klaus had brought you into his bedroom and Five watched as you snuggled into the mattress, he could barely take his eyes off you. It was in that moment that Five decided he needed to put as much distance between you two that he could. Caring about someone is dangerous because of the life he lives. The commission has tried to kill him on multiple occasions and The Handler would absolutely have a field day if she learned of someone Five was in love with. Five never let himself fall in love, so when your eyes fluttered open and landed on him, he turned tail and ran. His heart had seized in his chest the second your eyes connected with his. From then on he decided it was safest to get you to hate him, so you would want to stay away from him, no matter how badly it hurt him to do so.  

Five knew where you would be, so he made his way down to the kitchen, finding you sitting at the table talking to Grace. Her hand was rubbing your back and Five swore he felt his heart splintering into pieces as he listened to you cry softly. Hearing a knock you lifted your head from the table, quickly wiping your tears when you see Five standing in the doorway. “Mom could you give us a second?” Five asks, and Grace smiles and stands from the table, brushing a stray hair out of his face as she passes by him. You sit at the table, your eyes red and swollen as you keep your gaze firmly away from him. The silence stretches on forever, and eventually Five clears his throat, “listen Y/N-” He starts but cuts himself off as your watery eyes look up into his. 

Five takes another step towards you, “I’m sorry.” He says finally and your eyebrows raise in surprise. Five never never apologizes, at least not to you. He apologizes to his siblings all the time. “People love you Y/N, I know Klaus certainly does.” He states matter-of-factly. His hands push into his pockets and it’s now that you see the tint of pink dusted over his cheeks. Is Five blushing? You don’t know what to say, so you stay quiet as Five shifts from foot to foot. “We have terrible coffee here, do you want to go get a cup from Griddy’s?” He asks, startling the hell out of you. Did Five just ask you to go somewhere with him? Just you two? You shrug as you wipe away the last stray tear, “sure.” Five smiles softly and even holds the door open for you as you both step out onto the dark sidewalk. 

There is silence at first, but it’s not awkward, or filled with anger and tension. It’s a comfortable silence. Your arm accidentally brushes against his as you two head to the park to cut through it to Griddy’s. “Five can I ask you something?” You ask, coming to a halt in the park. Five turns and looks at you, waiting for you to continue. You swallow a thick lump in your throat, trying to steel your nerves for this question as you lock eyes with him. “Why don’t you like me? Since the first day I got here you’ve been distant and mean. What did I do wrong?” You ask, and you don’t mean for the tears to begin to well in your eyes but they do. Five shakes his head as he takes a few steps towards you, so that he’s now standing directly in front of you. “I don’t hate you Y/N.” You shake your head, you need more of an explanation than that. Your watery eyes are wide and confused as you stare up at him. 

“I’m so mean because I’ve fallen in love with you Y/N. Me being who I am, there’s a huge target on my back and really dangerous people try to kill me on a daily basis. I can’t care about anybody the way I care about you, it’ll put you in danger. Just being here with me right now is putting you in danger. I was so mean to get you to stay away from me, I was trying to protect you from-” You wrap your arms around him and press your lips against his, effectively shutting him up. Five stumbles back as you practically throw yourself into his arms, but he quickly recovers and wraps his arms around your waist to keep you from falling. Your lips move against his for a few moments before you pull away for air, a smile on your face and a startled look on his face. “You don’t have to protect me, I know what I want and how I feel. I love you Five.” You say, breathless. Five smiles before pressing his forehead against yours and then suddenly you hear clapping from nearby. 

You pull away from him to see Klaus and the rest of Five’s siblings clapping from behind a tree. A dark blush covers Five’s face as he reaches up to flip them off, “did you seriously follow us?” He asks, one of his arms still wrapped around your waist. Allison places a hand over her heart, “you two are so cute!” She coos and you turn to hide your face in Five’s neck from embarrassment. “Well to our defense, we wanted to make sure you didn’t kill each other.” He shrugs and you see Five grit his teeth in frustration. You lean up to whisper in Five’s ear, “if they want to watch, let’s give them something to look at.” A smile stretches across Five’s face before he presses his lips against yours once more. 

[mothandwolf]

so tlou3....

I envisioned tlou3 to focus both on ellie and abby; abby in her role at the new firefly location, after everything she’s been through she feels like she can start over and she’s actually hopeful again and more conscious of her actions and unfortunately way more demanding of herself, she’ll take on way too much whether to distract herself or compensate or prove to herself that she was worth making it that far, the firefly facility will come off surprisingly great, with idealistic leaders and hopeful members and abby/lev will get a lot of peace and purpose there in their beginning 

then ellie is alone, I’d love for it to start in Winter and we see how she’s straggling because she has a lot in her head and it can appear she’s aimless or has given up, but she’s really trying to work out what she feels compelled to do, I think of her getting night terrors of her immunity and the virus and I’d love for an element of the virus to be sensory, like how fungi can communicate, it’d be interesting if her immunity has mutated her infection to be able to sense other infected more than the element of Listening but she uses that as her guidepost to go where she feels she has to go, 

and we get to cohesively see abby and ellie on their journey to their own Aftermath and concept of redemption and it can be revealed slowly that this charismatic leader of the fireflys really does want a vaccine. really wants other things with it. and abby, through her desire to be able to be actively supportive of her father’s work is blinded by this leader’s ambition. he doesn’t want a vaccine*, he doesn’t want a cure*, he wants a super serum. and he’s been experimenting on that development with the only individuals fit enough for it: other immune individuals. and slowly abby starts to resistantly piece together why her dad had cut this guy off, why she never knew him, and he views her as his replacement to prove his own ambitions to abby’s dad, 

so now abby has the conflict of feeling like she needs to stop this man, needs to stop this man who reminds her so much of her father, but it’s not the same because he wants something bad... and he’s hurting people, but abby is obviously exhausted from this mindset, so she first tries to manage it, and lev is flourishing but perhaps he says something nonchalantly that’s another aspect abby has to question and it’s all leading up to abby discovering the underground of the firefly base, and finding the experiments, and upon almost getting killed by this hybrid super soldier cordyceps (r.i.p. shredded abby), it stops attacking her, and the leader reveals that he’s able to control it. and she sees the growth on himself, actually corrupting his body, but he’s been immune this entire time which grants him the fungi connection. but she stares at him and he looks insane and she knows all he wants actually is to infect the world with this hybrid virus and it can shine a light (pun) that the cordyceps present has achieved sentience.... or it’s this human’s ambition blinding him. bit of a guesser there they don’t have to pick. humanity, nature, it’s all good.

(there’s like, three different new infected enemies right there like immune individuals infected where the hybrid doesn’t take, the controlled hybrids, and then the defective controlled hybrids idc)

and abby manages to get out of there. and on her break-down stagger outside the facility she runs into. ellie. but only when there’s firefly guns on her. and abby freezes because trauma~ and ellie sees her and freezes because trauma~ and abby does something neither of them expect and says wait. I know her. and vouches for ellie.

and the way it’s shown, you don’t know whether abby is so conflicted with all that’s happened, does she want to give ellie to this place? knowing she’s immune? knowing what it would do to her? that’s what she wanted for so long, and even longer when you splinter abby’s drive towards avenging her father, and right when you think it’s a trap, and ellie still isn’t entirely present emotionally, like she doesn’t care if it’s a trap but more so she feels so compelled (her cordyceps nature or her joel nurture who knows! wink) to be here that if she dies here then maybe she always was supposed to, even before she got infected, didn’t she really just want* to die* for the fireflys*? so right as they’re checking ellie in, it’s like ellie is about to reveal to them that she’s immune, and abby speaks for her. and abby says nothing about immunity. 

and you see them both just stiffly unknowingly watch each other, not knowing how the other is reacting but waiting. and watching. and each caught up in their own thoughts. and abby quickly tells ellie, no she just needs to tell the Leader* obviously, it’s just too dangerous, while abby knows of the immune experiments, ellie still believes she’s the only immune person, but ellie listens. 

and for the shortest bit of time abby is just observing ellie, because she actually knows that look ellie has in her eyes, she knows that brokenness after vengeance, so it’s not an instant trying-to-kill-you reunion but a surreal kinship that feels awkward and way too complicated and actually better off avoided, and abby has lev and of course he invites ellie into their group and they talk a little bit and lev would mention it and abby is just. seeing the person ellie is. and ellie is seeing the person abby is.

and abby goes up in the ranks and oddly it’s like ellie is trying to have her own pre-immunity restart and she’s just proving to everyone how capable she is and boof, team scouts, and then the leader maybe puts deliberately puts ellie in danger because he’s looking for original clicker vs controlled clicker and figures the new recruit is just neater to experiment on and he secretly infects her but ellie. and he just sits there grinning. abby did tell him how good friends they were. and ellie because of her own cordyceps, kinda... feels something is off about this man. but doesn’t know about her mutation so she ignores it. and ignores the fluctuating presences of infected beneath the building. (cos she’s exhausted too!!!!)

so now because of the infection that’s further worsening to his denial, he’s even more paranoid and aggressive. and wants to essentially set a scene where ellie is viciously attacked by infected and abby just stumbles on this, and he’s surprised, and ellie’s surprised, and abby’s surprised, to watch as abby scrapes and tears to save ellie from this. (whether to keep her secret or y’know. save! that! lost one!) she saves her a little too hard. and then boom. awkward conflict tension that ellie had when she saved abby in tlou2 and abby is like. I didn’t save you because -- and basically lets slip that this leader is infected and immune and experimenting and then ellie reacts to believe that abby was trying to trick her or some melodrama like that idc, that abby wanted her final act to ellie would be to corrupt ellie’s immunity* and it’s this dumb weirdly familial fight of “you don’t understand!” storming off crap, and lev just looks at abby like .... “well go after her”

(and I’m sorry but the leader takes lev and deliberately infects him to win abby back to his idea that this hybrid can cure, and woo. doesn’t work. this adds another “..fuck” pain to abby because like. wouldn’t she have done everything to save lev from this had she known and guilt there but also an underlining joel recognition. that that is why, emotionally why, he did what he did, because ellie would’ve died and what if it didn’t even work) and there’s a failsafe for the island to blow up because of all the crazy infected they just. keep there. so it blows and ellie/abby end up on a boat away and ellie is able to sense the leader and his hybrid horde he controls and then it’s ellie looking out for abby and abby being able to recognize that although resist it at first and it’s just this unfolding dynamic of we have done so much fucked up shit to each other but can we actually stop something worse with each other. 

and it ends with ellie almost jumping to sacrifice herself, or try to take control of the horde and that’d be a fun mechanic of like. using the mutation to sense and reroute infected and being able to upgrade it enough to make clickers think you’re an ally instead? and the inner turmoil of ellie tapping into the infection and all of the grief it gave her to try to utilize it............mwah

and abby just stares at ellie like. she believes in her. and why doesn’t she believe the man who reminds her of her dad, why does she believe the girl* who reminds her of... herself. and there’s just so many different emotional components weaving together , and new ellie cordycep mutation mechanic and new hybrid bad guys that mean you have to be hyper hyper aware of your surroundings in relations to where the controller of the infected is or whatever idc and ellie having to explore her immunity and her conflict with her purpose and guilt and abby’s hope having to be realized it has to keep growing itself.

that humanity and the chances we give each other to keep going, keep trying, keep protecting, and keep caring, is worth it. that our lives aren’t just a perilous part 1 or a traumatizing part 2, but we deserve to see it through to our restorative part 3. 

also I just really want them to keep helping each other and just staring like. “this doesn’t mean I like you. it just means I need you. don’t make it weird. here I got you some water.”

whether or not ellie/abby die at the end I’d prefer they didn’t, or they’re just laying there naruto/sasuke style like “we made it this far.” “yeah. we did.” because the fact they’re really just the same just at different points in their life hits me like a train. their humanity bringing out humanity bringing out humanity bringing out humanity. 

maybe abby beats the leader’s hybrid horde and ellie beats the leader by cross-control the cordyceps but starts to lose it to the sentience of the cordyceps and abby is standing there like. fight it. you are you. fight. it. you don’t give up. you’ve never given up. don’t start now. you don’t get to fucking tap out before this all ends. and ellie opens her eyes like. weakly says. “you just like to hear yourself talk, wolf” 

and maybe idc because ellie had been experimenting with sensing and influencing other infected it’s less corruptible than the leader who deliberately infected himself idc whatever 

(gratuitously I also want ellie waking up to abby and abby made sure ellie survived and boom magic happy ending idc but outside abby’s dad and joel’s ghost are just standing there smiling goodbye)

and abby just looks at ellie and ellie looks at abby and it’s like. no one else will have to go through this. we (the children of this traumatized world) are. the last of us. and they smile, crying.

[goosewithasaxophone]

Attack On Titan seasons 3+4 Spoilers (and 1 if you haven’t started it or gotten halfway thru it yet)

EVERYONE LISTEN UP OR DONT IDC BUT I JUST FINISHED EPISODE 8 OF AOT AND I HAVE AN IRRELEVANT HEADCANON THAT HELPS ME FALL ASLEEP AT NIGHT

Levi says to the kids (i guess they’re not kids anymore 😭😭😭😭) “Don’t die on me” and i just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA it got me thinking how fuckin TIRED THIS POOR MAN IS of LOSING HIS FRIENDS

he lost his mom as a young child, his squad in s1, Kenny, Erwin and almost Hange (TOO CLOSE MOM TOO CLOSE) in s3, now Sasha in s4 ??? he needs a BREAK !!!!!!!!!!!!

so here’s my headcanon that i think about nonstop ☺️☺️

Levi is alone in his office after they return from the fight between Eren and the other titans. Sasha is put to rest with her things gathered and folded nicely on Levi’s desk to return to her family (are they alive ?? whatever i don’t remember).

He’s sitting at his desk writing a letter to go with Sasha’s things when they’re given back to whomever. Hange walks in, she’s exhausted. They both are. She stands in his doorway watching him. He tells her to come in, his tone gruff and assertive and his voice low and tired. His eyes are dark, even under the light of the lantern on his desk, shedding a low warm glow around the little room.

Hange steps closer and stands behind him where he sits, reading over his shoulder at the letter he’s writing. Beside it, she sees another letter, in fact, it’s a small pile of letters. Each paper has his scribbly writing inked and smudged and aged. She glided her fingers across the sides of the top page in the pile, trying to read them under the dull light. She sees the name “Erwin Smith” appear several times in several variances throughout the letter. Her heart twinges at the heartfelt words in the letter. Underneath that one she searches for other names in the other letters. She sees Petra, Oluo, Eld, and Gunther throughout the other pages.

By the time she finishes reading final letter in the pile she snaps back into the moment and notices Levi writing more aggressively on Sasha’s letter. His pen is taking the pressure from his hands and almost tearing through the paper. Hange has to place her hand on his wrist before he goes too far. He resists and tears a hole in the paper.

“Fuck,” he curses aggressively under his breath. Hange is about to say something, she opens her mouth to try to say something, anything that will reassure Levi that the tear in the page is nothing to fret, he can write another copy. But she knows she can’t say that because his words are authentic and to write another copy would be replicating a feeling already felt. That’s dwelling in the past and Levi doesn’t do that.

So she says nothing, and instead places her hand on his back. If she presses her palm flat against him she can feel his breath grow shallow and rigid. His breathing becomes audible.

Levi does not show emotion. He stares straight ahead and speaks monotonously no matter the situation. He uses his actions as expression and displays loyalty through his behavior.

Unless he’s alone with Hange.

Moments pass and Hange thinks he’s pulled himself together, so she takes a step back. Just as her fingertips lift from the man’s back he slams his fist on the desk and drops his face into his hands. Hange swoops down and throws herself over him like a protective blanket. She snakes her arms around him as far as they’ll go and squeezes tightly.

Levi curls forward from within her embrace and continues to try to control his breathing. He’s failing, they’re both aware, and neither say a word. It’s not until Hange realizes he isn’t going to immediately pull himself together that she takes another action. Shuffling her feet until she’s directly in front of him she brings her arms underneath his and raises him so he’s standing. She can hold him much closer this way.

“Fucking shit,” he sobs. Despite the lack of context Hange knows exactly what he’s talking about. It translated to “Why do I keep losing people?” She says the only thing she can think to say in the moment.

“Not me,” she whispers, feeling her own tears begin to sting her eyes. “Never me.”

“You were too close,” he mumbles. “Don’t ever fucking pull some shit like that again, he growled, remembering back to the sight of her being slammed against the trees, the sound of her voice shouting in pain as she hit the hard surfaces on her way down after her gear failed to suspend her. “That was too fucking close.”

Hange chuckles weakly. “I’ll do my best.”

“No you won’t. Your wreckless ass can’t stand not being at the center of danger.”

“What do you expect, that’s how we learn about things. From the center of them.”

“You’re fucking stupid.”

“I know.”

He brings his arms around her waist and pulls tightly. She knows he doesn’t mean the things he says. She knows he doesn’t think she’s intellectually stupid. He just doesn’t want to lose her too.

“You’re not gonna lose me, but I can’t lose you either, okay?” she said, trying to take a more encouraging turn. “I can’t handle those stupid kids on my own. Someone’s gotta be around to kick the shit outta them and keep ‘em in line, okay?” He nods against her chest and keeps his face buried in her.

It’s late evenings like these, when they return from some sort of mission, after Levi has changed out of his bloodstained clothes and Hange has restored her messy ponytail and everyone else has settled in for a long awaited rest, that Levi finds himself emotionally more vulnerable. It’s late evenings like these that when Hange is around and they’re alone, he can let himself be vulnerable. She’s his closest remaining partner.

It’s the pile of letters on his desk, never sent out, only ever growing with every additional squad member’s death, that Hange sees Levi’s true colors in. He’s not the cold, distant, abusive caption that everyone fears to anger lest they experience his wrath. He’s the damaged, healing, fragile captain that is so goddamn determined to keep his squads alive because every single time a member dies, another small piece of him dies with them. When the kids came into the picture he had never felt a greater weight on his shoulders. Every boy containing Farlan’s eyes and every girl containing Isabel’s, though no one saw it but him. He had to keep these stupid, wreckless, impulsive kids alive, because if he didn’t, who would?

But now the kids weren’t kids anymore. They were growing up. They were maturing. They were seeing things that toughened their skin and their hearts. They were taking control of their lives and realizing the real important things in life.

Levi was glad he could see them grow up and become wreckless adults instead of their old wreckless selves. But it also scared him, because he used to be that fresh new wreckless adult. And now he was the only one left. Him and Hange.

And that’s why he puts up an emotionless front. Because he and Hange are the last two left. The kids may think they are on their own, but Levi keeps an eye out. He watches and observes and takes pride in their enthusiasm on the good days and stays quietly sympathetic in the defeated hope on the bad ones. He’s watching because he cares so much. And that is what makes him so afraid.

Anyway that took me a half hour to type out because the more i thought about it while writing it the more developed it got. So there’s my big detailed headcanon, probably some misinformation in there but that’s because i don’t always understand what’s going on in the show and i’m far too behind to start the manga now. hope y’all enjoy and can suffer through the rest of the season along with me <3