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lambourngb · 3 years

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a skeleton of something more [2/6]

previously here. malex wip fic. a short serial leading up the premiere.

spoilers for the trailer and promo, will be instantly AU. If I’m going to the trouble of writing a malex fix-it for the season 3 opener, why not fix 2x13 too?

**** THEN ****

After Alex closed Tripp’s journal, he met Michael’s gaze across the table at the Crashdown.

His golden-brown eyes were heavy with pain, the reminder of how his mother’s story had ended was still fresh between them despite the span of months since the fiery end of Caulfield. What had resulted in being the fiery end of them, even though Alex hadn’t known it at the time. The look of sleeplessness in Michael’s face reminded Alex, that outside of this small piece of Nora, he had the weight of Maria still in the hospital recovering from the pathogen Flint had released. The press of the Deep Sky ring in his pocket warred with the hesitation to place one more burden on Michael, would the abacus of their fragile friendship balance out?

He flashed to that last argument in Michael’s bunker, a disaster of his own making, thinking he could believe in his father, but thankfully harm was averted at Crashcon. That recent memory was motive enough for Alex to decide. Whatever happened next, he needed Michael on the same page with him.

As Isobel moved to leave the table, explaining to Michael that she needed to check on Max, Alex held Michael’s gaze deliberately. Then he folded his fingers down, until the last three fanned out in a downward W.

“After what happened with Maria, maybe you should come with me, Michael. You can help me shake some sense into Max,” Alex heard, tuning back into Isobel’s voice. Her eyes moved back and forth between them, a crease of suspicion wrinkling her upturned nose, as she stopped on him. “It’ll be a good distraction.”

Without looking at Isobel, Michael’s eyes remained trained on Alex’s hand. “No, thanks, I’m good here. I’ve had my fill of stubborn ass people who don’t want to listen to sensible advice from me, so I’ll catch up with you later, Isobel.”

She made a dismissive huff but did not argue, leaving with the barest semblance of a polite goodbye to Alex, but that was typical Isobel Evans. Michael waited until his sister was on the other side of the door, before speaking quietly, his gaze finally moving up from Alex’s hands to his face. “I haven’t seen you flash that sign to me in years.”

“Glad to know you haven’t forgotten it.”

“You, making the ‘wait for me, I want you now’ signal? Nah, that’s been burned into my brain over the years.” Michael said it with a faint trace of bitterness. “I guess news travels fast, Maria only dumped my ass this morning.”

Alex winced and looked down, swallowing the surprise and spark of hope that welled in his throat at that disclosure. It was better to concentrate on the unique talent he had of stepping on landmines around Michael, than wonder about what had happened with Maria. It looked like he was still good at causing harm without intention, judging by the stung bite in Michael’s voice. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have-”

“No, I’m sorry,” Michael cut off his apology firmly with a wave of his hand, calling a time-out. Alex waited, his teeth pressed into his lower lip as Michael rubbed his eyes with a weary half-smile. “I’m being an asshole right now, and that’s not fair to take it out on you. It’s been a shitty day already, and — anyway, … you definitely know how to get my attention, Alex.” He tilted his head, self-deprecation on his face, “for better or worse, you’ve always been good at that.”

It had been the sign they had developed whenever their paths had crossed over the years while Alex had been on leave in Roswell, but it had started that summer after high school. After Michael’s hand had healed poorly from Jesse, the last three fingers had been left frozen in a claw, it had been a shared fuck-you to his dad to use it to form their own secret communication. A three-fingered W, turned upward meant it wasn’t a good time, and he would find Michael later; turned downward, well, that meant it was safe to approach him, and it had often ended in a hurried blowjob in his car. Perhaps he should have used more care in using it now, but Michael wasn’t the only one running on the fumes of insomnia and stress. “Sorry, I needed to talk to you, and I wanted to make sure you didn’t leave with Isobel-”

“It’s fine, really. It’s not a bad memory either, remembering that we had our little secret language.” Michael wiggled his fingers in reassurance, his left hand still wrapped with a bandanna. “I can make that signal a hell of a lot easier now, too. But anyway, what did you need?”

There was still a voice inside Alex’s head that said ‘you’, no matter how long it had been. He shoved that down deep, along with his curiosity about Maria, and concentrated on his purpose. “Your advice on something, and then if it’s not too much to ask, your help.”

“Anything.”

Alex blinked, nonplussed by the easy acceptance.

Michael gestured encouragingly, “seriously, anything, just tell me what’s going on because the way you’re hemming and hawing, it is freaking me out.” Suddenly, all expression washed out of Michael’s face as a horrible thought occurred to him. “Did you get deployed or something?”

“Not exactly, not how you’re thinking,” he winced at the earned glare from Michael as he continued to stall while the words still tripped and fumbled around his mouth, heedless to the mounting frustration between them both. He sighed, and regrouped. Pushing the closed journal aside, Alex dug into his pocket and laid the signet ring on the table before Michael. “Let me start at the beginning, I found this in my dad’s things.”

“Jesse never seemed like a jewelry kind of guy to me.” Michael picked up the ring, examining it closely with a sarcastic smirk. “Other than parading around town with that wedding ring, when everyone knows your mom left him back during the Bush years, Dubya that is.”

“My father is all, was all, about appearances.” Alex placed the photo of the group on the table, sliding it over to him. “That ring marked his membership in this paramilitary group called Deep Sky. Every man in that photo worked at Caulfield, at one time or another.” He tapped his finger over the face of his father, then moved it to the right. “That’s my dad, and that is Ricky Long.”

Michael frowned, pulling the picture closer to squint at the faces. “Wyatt’s dad?”

“No, Forrest’s.”

“Nazi guy? Seriously?” He rubbed at his chin, the stubble longer than usual painting his jawline. Alex dragged his eyes away with effort as Michael considered that information. There was a reluctant understanding in his eyes, having recalled that Forrest Long wasn’t just ‘Nazi Guy’ to Alex, but someone who had expressed interest in Alex. Personal interest. “I guess that’s something you guys have in common then, dirtbag dads.”

He didn’t look thrilled to admit that to Alex, but it was a mark of how far they had both come as friends that Michael had said it anyway regardless. It was kind of him. It was the same type of empathy Alex had extended toward Michael, when he had expressed interest in Maria. Cut open, bleeding under his skin from all the ways he had squandered his own chances, he had said something similar to Michael once upon a time. That was what love was all about. Then he had kept saying it, until he believed it most days because wanting Michael to be happy was the easier ask.

It was a gracious sentiment that was entirely wasted by Michael when it came to Forrest Long.

“It would be, uh, something to bond over, if I hadn’t noticed that Forrest wears the same ring now.”

Michael’s eyes sharpened. “Family heirloom or do you think he worked at Caulfield?”

“I don’t know, but he is an ex-Army vet.” Alex tapped the photo of the members gathered together, “That was part of what I’ve been looking into, identifying everyone who worked at Caulfield right until the end. As for Deep Sky, I don’t know if it’s military service, Caulfield, or a family legacy that ties every member together, I just know that Dad kept in touch with those who were involved at the prison.”

“Makes sense, Jesse was able to get a hold of the atomizer and pathogen that Charlie developed from somewhere. For all of his strutting around at Crashcon with a uniform on, that didn’t look like it was an official use of government property.”

“Right, it definitely wasn’t, and before you tell me to leave it alone-” Alex began, remembering Michael’s response to the investigation into 1947. He had considered Alex’s actions back then to be an act of futility, something that could only hurt by being revisited. The past being the past, unable to be altered.

This time Michael cut him off, “No, I was wrong about that. I, um, I finally realized that just because I don’t see you connected to that place or the rest of your family, doesn’t mean you don’t. And while I wish that you didn’t, Alex, if digging into this gives you some sort of peace over it, then do it.”

Alex looked down, feeling the weight of relief that Michael understood. After his father’s body had been removed, after the questions and lies had been spun, he had spent the entire night sleepless over having been made into an effective weapon to force Michael’s compliance. Helena had known where all the weak spots were thanks to Flint, and had armed herself with a depowering agent. Once Flint was recovered, there was nothing stopping him from employing a similar tactic in the future.

“If anyone’s going to destroy me, it might as well be you.” Michael had once declared with a bold carelessness that had infuriated and terrified Alex at the time, but that was nothing compared to now having a lived experience to back it up. His mind had easily used the memory of Maria’s collapse after the faintest exposure at the Crashcon and had exchanged her with Michael, being torn apart molecule by molecule, by an invisible threat.

Give him an enemy that he could see any day, especially one that bled.

“I’ve been fighting so long, I don’t know what peace looks like anymore.” Alex held out his hand for the ring, and Michael gently laid it in his palm, brushing his fingertips over Alex’s skin. A lifetime of controlling himself kept the reaction off his face as he rubbed his thumb over the raised emblem of Deep Sky. “But I have learned recently that when something seems too good to be true, it is.”

Neither of them mentioned Jesse and his performance from the last few months, but Michael frowned again, “Wait a second, you think Forrest targeted you on purpose?”

“A member of a secret paramilitary organization just happens to ask me out after I was involved in the destruction of Caulfield? You really think that’s a coincidence?” Alex raised his eyebrow skeptically at Michael, before looking out the window to watch the pedestrians on the street.

“I think you’re the hottest guy in Roswell, so I’m not surprised he asked you out.” Michael flushed a little when Alex turned back to stare at him in surprise over the flattering comment. “Seriously, you’re a catch, but I will agree, it’s not a good look that he’s got that ring. But maybe it’s crap he wears because of his dad, and he’s got no idea he’s parading around?”

“You’re being awfully generous.”

“Isn’t that what you want? Because last time I checked, you were the one telling me that I should have faith in people, even if they give me no reason to.” Michael flattened his hands on the table, drawing Alex’s attention to the bandanna on his hand again. That damn fight kept echoing between them to Alex’s dismay, but Michael didn’t let him linger over it, “While I stand by what I said about Jesse, ‘cause he messes us both up, all I know about Forrest Long is that he is way too interested in Nazi history and he has good taste in guys.” Michael wetted his lips, nervously to tack on, “I also know that I trust you, and your instincts, so if you say there’s something not right about him, then I believe you.”

“There’s something not right about him,” Alex repeated seriously.

“Then I believe you, so what do you need me to do?”

“He wants to get close to me for some reason, probably related to what I know about aliens, so I’m going to let him. And I need you to back me up in case something goes wrong, and maybe use that lock pick you have in your brain?” Alex waited until Michael nodded in agreement, feeling the swell of gratitude at his support. Anyone else would probably think he was being paranoid, or that this was a delayed reaction to his father trying to kill them, but Michael, for all of his previous counter-arguments, had never truly believed in the good of humanity. Maybe in a few days, Alex would feel guilty in relying on that. Maybe in a few days, his suspicions about Forrest would be eliminated.

“He’s involved in running the open mike night at the Wild Pony with Maria, so I thought maybe I could perform a song or something? He drives a Prius, and while he’s listening to me sing, you could slip out mid-song and insert this into the code reader of his car.”

On the table was a small device that mimicked a thumb drive, small and black. It was the type of technology that Alex had used in the Air Force, tracking terrorists abroad. It had taken a fair amount of searching to purchase the equivalent stateside to have on hand. Michael picked it up curiously, turning over his hands.

“It’s designed to download the GPS history of his car,” Alex explained, before rubbing the back of his head in thought. “That’s how I uncovered what my dad was up to, first by tracking his movements. If I let Forrest take me home, I can gain access to his laptop and phone.”

Michael furrowed his brow in concern, “You’re really willing to go that far? And what if he is involved in something shady, what then?”

“My father and brother both used me to get to you, there’s really nothing I wouldn’t do to keep that from happening again and if it means playing along with this guy, letting him lead me to the members of Deep Sky? Then I will.” If anything, his words only deepened the concern on Michael’s face, but Alex had been committed for a long time. Since the red level threat. Since the short ride to the recruitment office. Maybe as far back as his guitar going missing in the music room.

“I’ve slept with guys for worse reasons.”

CONTINUED HERE

#Malex #roswell new mexico #malex fic #alex goes undercover #not forrest long friendly #getting back together #Season 3 speculation

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13uswntimagines · 3 years

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I Should Sleep With You More Often (Sam x Reader)

Sequel to Works Like a Charm where Sam and Reader finally get together. It’s a very fluffy piece, with a little bit of late night breakfast making and a surprise kiss.

special thanks to @literaryhedgehog cause this wouldn’t have happened without her.

Hello?”

“Hey, I can’t sleep.” Sam’s voice comes over the phone, getting straight to the point with frustration.

“And you’re calling me about it? At 3 am. I could have been asleep you know.” You huff into the phone, pinning it between your chin and your shoulder.

“Were you?” She asks, and you can almost see her eyebrow quirking up.

You look down at the frying pan where you were about to pour your egg-cheese scramble. “No. But still.”

“Don’t worry, I appreciate the irony of the situation,” she says, with an attempt at humor. “can I come over?”

“Sure. You can split my omelet.” You hum, your tongue poking out as you make sure the entire omelet landed on the plate instead of the floor.

“Omelette?” Sam asked, sounding amused. “I thought you weren’t supposed to --”

“Eat anything after 9 pm I know, I know. But I woke up and was hungry, and couldn’t just ignore it to fall back asleep for two hours. I had to eat something or I was going to get nauseous.” You interrupted her, waving your hand dismissively.

“What?” Sam asked entirely confused.

“You know that feeling, where you’re like, so hungry that you get kind of nauseous?” You tried to explain again.

“No…” She trailed off.

“Oh, well it’s the worst. I like to try to eat something before it gets too bad because otherwise, the food won’t do anything. Anyway, I made enough you can have half of it, just let me know when you get here so I can send down the elevator for you.” You said, whipping your hands off and walking towards the door.

“I’m actually just parking,” Sam’s voice came sheepishly over the phone. In the background, you heard the unmistakable sound of her car being locked. She always insisted on clicking the lock button twice so it would beep, like she didn’t trust it to lock the first time.

You shook your head and left your apartment to buzz her into the building. “You’re telling me that at 3 am, before even checking to see if I was awake, you just decided to come to my apartment because you couldn’t sleep?”

“Yes?”

“You’re insane,” you said, hanging up the phone as the elevator door opened to reveal her tall frame.

She ruffled the hair at the back of her neck, grinning. “I knew you would be awake?”

“Bullshit.” You led the way back to your apartment and grabbed two plates from the cabinet. “You want soy milk?”

“What?”

“Soy milk. I’ve got vanilla or dark chocolate.” For some reason, soy milk helped reduce the insomnia nausea more than anything else most days. Still, the omelet smelled amazing.

“Um sure, vanilla please.” She shrugged, and you rolled your eyes. Vanilla was for the weak.

You pulled out both cartons and two glasses, before cutting the omelet in half and handing her a fork.

“Don’t I get my own plate?” Sam whined, cutting off a piece of the Omelet and popping it into her mouth.

“People who come barging into my apartment at 3 AM have to share with the host. Unless you wanna do dishes?” You raised your eyebrow at her, pointing your fork in her direction, smirking when she emphatically shook her head no.

She quickly changed the subject, avoiding your eyes as she ate. “So how are you liking your apartment, it’s new right?”

“Yeah, I moved in four months ago, you know when I suddenly got traded to North Carolina,” you said, a very bitter edge in your voice. How Mark could let you leave the thorns you would never know, but at least Hinkle was retiring.

You took another bite “So why couldn’t you sleep? At camp, you’re usually snoring like a freight train by now.”

Sam paused mid-bite, fork in the air. She looked like she was debating how to answer then, stuffed her last piece of omelet in her mouth. “I donb snowe.”

“You totally do. Rose even sent me the video evidence if you wanna see it,” you smirked, standing to go get your phone.

“No!” Sam jumped up and you sprinted across the kitchen to get out of her reach, grinning. “You really don’t have to do that, it’s not a big deal.”

“Oh, but I really don’t mind,” you taunted, starting for your phone before Sam tackled you. Well, it wasn’t a tackle so much as a grab, but she had a good foot and a half on you, so same difference really.

“Put me down. This is highly unnecessary,” you sputtered, laughing from Sam’s shoulder. “I’m not supposed to exercise within an hour of bed. My therapist would be unhappy with so much activity.”

“Yeah cause eating an Omelette at 3 am is totally something she would approve,” Sam rolled her eyes, as she tossed you onto your couch.

“Lies and slander. I won’t get the alleged snoring video, but seriously. Why are you here?”

Sam sighs, and slouches onto the couch next to you, dropping her head into your lap. You smile down at her, liking this new angle. While you certainly didn’t mind being the baby of the team, it was kind of nice to do the petting for once.

“I don’t know,” Sam said, furrowing her eyebrows.

“You were never a good liar. It’s why everyone catches you when you try to pull pranks. I hear it helps if you talk about it,” You murmured, using your thumb to smooth out the crease that formed between her eyes.

“Fine, I couldn’t sleep because I kept having nightmares. It felt like, I was tossing and turning for hours, and then every time I dozed off, my brain came up with these fucked up images. Like, silence of the lambs shit. I could sell some horror film director the plotlines and make bank, I’m telling you. And since Rose and Wilma moved out, my place has felt so empty. It felt like, the panic attacks I used to have before games. When I had to always bring a bag with me to hyperventilate into before I could get my mind on the game.”

You frowned. “I don’t remember that.”

“Once you became my bus buddy I didn’t have that problem. You got me out of my own head with fun word games and stupid jokes. Remember that time you gave me the sentence ‘The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog?’ You kept grinning telling me to stop stressing out, it would be alright, to just guess a letter.”

“Because whatever you guessed would be right.” You hum smiling down at her.

“You couldn’t take that shit-eating grin off your face, you jerk, but like, it helped me stop second-guessing myself. Sitting on the bus with you, I’ve never felt more calm going into a season. And so I just thought. It’s dumb but I hoped coming here would help.” She shrugged.

“It’s not dumb Sammy. You help me sleep too. Why do you think all the vets insist I sit with you?” You said softly, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

“Because you used to fall asleep literally everywhere and they hoped I could get across the aisle and catch you before you hit your head?” She giggled and you snapped her shoulder lightly.

“Wow. Thanks.” You said in a monotone, “Or maybe it’s ‘cause you’re my favorite teddy bear.”

“If anyone is the teddy it’s you. You’re like half my size,” She giggled.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you muttered, playfully pushing her head off your lap. “Come on you giant.”

“Where are you going?” She asked, allowing you to pull her to her feet.

“To go grab you a toothbrush and a fresh pillowcase for the bed.” You said, your tugging getting a little more insistent. You really wanted to get to sleep tonight. You had been so good lately (ignoring the random omelet you cooked tonight).

“Oh, um. I was hoping we could just watch television on your couch and I would fall asleep,” Sam rambled, eyes wide. “I mean, not that I mind, but I didn’t want to like, invade on your--”

“Just come up to my room. It’s no big deal, it’s large enough for both of us, and I honestly don’t think that couch is even big enough to fit you. Besides, maybe it will help you sleep to be on a mattress actually purchased in this century.”

“Hey, I like my mattress!” She grumbled indignantly, crossing her arms.

“You flip it twice a month because it keeps forming an indention where you’ve slept!” You said exasperated. That sleepover had been a terrible idea and you stood by that. At least your bed didn’t spit out feathers when you turned over too fast.

“Well, I. um. No comment.” you hear her say as you go to take your turn in the bathroom.

When Sam gets back from brushing her teeth you’ve done everything except turn out the lights. You look up from your side of the bed as she pauses in the doorway.

“Is this… Welcome to Night Vale?”

“It helps me ignore my thoughts. Can you get the lights please?”

You had to replay the podcast the next day after Sam left. You couldn’t remember anything after “Wednesday has been canceled due to a scheduling error” because within moments you were asleep.

*****

You thought that sleeping with Sam was only supposed to be a one-night thing, but it wasn’t. One night turned into two, which turned into the two of you usually crashing at each other's places.

If you were being honest, it was the best sleep you had ever gotten. It was nice to have someone there to hold onto, to protect you from the bad dreams. The problem was that your feelings were edging past the line of friendship, and you had no idea what to do about it.

It started with a team party you both went to, where Sam offered to be the designated driver. After she dropped everyone else off, you told her she might as well stay the night at your place since it was already so late and she did. And you both slept great. And then you had your usual Saturday spa night the next night, and you were several shots in and it wouldn’t have been responsible to drive home. And you both slept a solid seven hours.

Not that Sam was a magical cure to your insomnia. You still had nights where your brain was like a train running off the rails, unstoppable no matter how hard you tried. Yet, having her there helped. She made sure blue lights went off when they were supposed to, and your late-night breakfast-making was kept to a minimum. AND after the first few nights, you realized that she was amusingly clingy in her sleep. Which meant that occasionally if you woke up and tried to get out of bed, she would sleepily grab you and hold you in place murmuring about whatever was happening in her dream. Since you couldn’t get up you had to just lay there, which normally might have been boring, but with her was amusing as you listened to her rambling state of consciousness.

You sighed, staring up at the ceiling. You really needed to get your shit together and just ask her out. But what if she said no, and you lost your cuddle buddy? That would suck royally, and if you lost your bus seat it might completely curse the USWNT.

“Alright, I can practically feel the steam coming out of your ears, spill,” Sam groaned, rolling over and throwing an arm around your waist.

“Isn’t it weird?”

“What?”

“Time. Like someone decided that seconds were a thing and a certain number of seconds equaled a minute and there were a certain number of minutes in a day. Like someone just decided it was a thing, and everyone went along with it and now we all have to plan our lives around this arbitrary system. I wonder if that asshole realized that people would use it to put kids in detention and force them to cram so they could regurgitate facts in a specified amount of his made-up system. And like the Romans made a Calendar and the Mayans did one too…” Your rambling was cut off by Sams’s soft lips touching your own in a quick peck before she collapsed back into the pillow. “Just blame capitalism babe.”

You stared at her for a minute, shocked, before she bolted upright. “SHIT. Sorry, I just. I forgot to ask for consent. I just forgot--”

“I consent, yes, more of this please,” you said, leaning over to kiss her again. Your hands cupped her cheeks and her fingers tangled into the baby hairs at the back of your neck.

After a few minutes, Sam broke off the kiss, both of you breathing heavily. “Um, wow. You know, I’m not sure this is helping you get to sleep, love.”

You smirk, biting your lip and straddling her hips before you lean in to kiss her again, slowly. “You’re the one who said you needed to sleep with me more often.”

#uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt x reader #sam mewis imagine #sam mewis x reader #literalhedgehog

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theramseyloft · 4 years

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Pigeon rescue being shut down for “Keeping nuisance animals” needs help finding homes for their birds.

From Tutu.Pigeon’s instagram;

https://www.instagram.com/tutu.pigeon/

Hi everyone, I don't even know how to write this post and my heart aches saying this. Our next door neighbors complained about the availability in our backyard and the Garfield NJ health department came to shut us down.

We have a week to re-home our beautiful rescues and I've been working night and day to find them new homes.

I've been summoned to court for the following violations: 1. Keeping of animals considered a public nuisance, 2. Having a coop that's too close to my home and the neighbor (needs to be 25 feet or more away), and 3. Having a wild bird feeder that is open.

Apparently, we needed a permit to have the pigeons and the city is not allowing me to remedy the situation and apply for a permit.

We do not have enough room in the yard to move the aviary (it has to be taken down) and as renters, our landlord would not be happy about all the pigeons in the home. We are cornered, and it is another reminder that people really do not understand or appreciate pigeons.

How can animals inside their cage bother anyone? We are heartbroken and will do whatever possible to keep Tutu as a pet.

We have been blessed to have people step up to help us, and we are arranging to drive all over the United States to find the birds placement in sanctuaries.

If you would like to support us in any way, please donate to our fundraiser (link in bio) so we can make the necessary trips to Vermont, Oklahoma, and other neighboring states. It will be multiple days of driving but our beautiful rescues deserve another chance.

Thank you all for the love you've shown us and we will continue to run this page as best we can. I think there is much work to be done to fix people's perception about pigeons and so so many innocent animals that need saving.

Our disabled pigeons have been granted temporary asylum upstate NY while they find forever homes. As I write this, Beaker, Doll, Minion, Slate, Ally, Dove, and Farble (our disabled pigeons) are on their way to a new life.

10/3/20

Hi everyone, I wanted to update you on our situation. We are still actively re-homing our beautiful birds. Yesterday, 7 of our disabled/sick pigeons (Beaker, Ally, Slate, Dove, Minion, Farble, Doll) were transported upstate NY to a safe haven while we find permanent placement. The wonderful Sue from @themiafoundation is taking care of "The Jersey Seven" and set them up in their own beautiful room where they are comfortable (pic 9 and video 10). You probably already know of Sue, her pigeon and puppy combo have won the hearts of many! (picture 8). Yesterday were able to find a great home for our beautiful one-eyed Grover with @pidgey.fred. Grover immediately went on her new mommy's shoulder and I believe she's probably still sitting there 😆 We have lined up more permanent homes for our pigeons but still have 16 pigeons that need placement. We are planning our multi-state trip and need your support to make this happen. There are people interested in adopting our birds in California, Washington, Florida and Oklahoma. If you can support us, please donate to our link in our Bio. We appreciate everyone's help and support thus far. You have been so very kind to us. The GoFundMe link is new, specifically for re-homing, so I can share updates on there about our trip. If we can make this happen, you will be able to see pics and videos of our destinations and the Pigeon's new homes. ♥️

10/5/20

Today we say goodbye to our aviary, and the so many beautiful moments we have captured. I'm blessed to have crossed paths with these beautiful creatures and been able to save them. I will keep fighting to secure them a good life, we will not give up on them. Our babies have struggled enough in their early lives and I can only hope they will all find loving homes. Thank you for your donations, it means the world to us. Please continue to support us on our GoFundMe (link in Bio). We are also blessed to have a friend who is taking the aviary and our babies until we can adopt everyone out. This buys us some time. You have all been so generous with us. Even though at moments it doesn't feel like it- the world does have good people and when we stick together we achieve the impossible.

10/15/20

Hi everyone, just wanted to update you all on the aviary takedown and this entire situation. We have successfully relocated the aviary to our friend's home a few hours away. It took us two days of taking it apart, getting some help with the lifting and then reassembling it at it's new location. It was a stressful time for the birds as they spent most of this time in their boxes and carriers. Their new safe haven is quiet and beautiful with lots of other animals such as chicken and ducks roaming in a private yard. If you recall, this is the place we rehomed Sophie (renamed Quinn) when Tutu couldn't get along with him. The last pics and videos show the aviary that Quinn lives in with friends. Our birds are being kept at this location while we secure safe homes for them. Our friend is very kind and is making updates to the aviary to make it more spacious, since the birds are a bit cramped. Here, we had an indoor room that they used as well. In the video you can see that we installed a smaller cage to the end of the aviary which the birds seem to be enjoying. With regards to adoptions, we have secured a handful of new homes and even found a great person in CA willing to adopt most of our babies. Our special needs birds such as Beaker remain upstate and have vet appointments coming up. Dove (the beautiful white wedding release bird) has been successfully rehomed after recovering from her sickness. This week we are planning to rehome in NC and GA and are driving down from NJ. Next week we will rehome in CT. Finally, we still need to raise enough money to take the week long trip to CA.

10/16/20

Hi friends, our babies are being pampered in their foster home. We've installed an extra flight cage to make them more comfortable since they've been a bit cramped in the aviary without their indoor room. Look how everyone is settling in. We estimate that it will be a few weeks before we can make our CA trip where almost all of our remaining birds are being rehomed. We still have 6 birds upstate recovering and not yet ready for adoption. Recently Dove (the wedding release pigeon) was adopted out! For us to make the Cali trip, we need to reserve an RV since it's roughly 5 days of driving each way. It will be quite impossible to check into a hotel with our birds. 😅 We will also need the room for several cages and to be able to clean the cages and keep everyone happy and fed. We need to purchase more cages and pads. The rental costs $200 a day, plus gas/tolls. We have donations saved but estimate we need another $1,700 to make this trip happen. Please help us by donating or sharing our GoFundMe campaign (link in Bio).

10/17/20

Rehoming Trip Day 1: We are driving South to North Carolina today and rehoming some of our turtles in a beautiful pond setup (we've rescued 13 turtles through the years). @tani.turtle. We will then continue down to South Carolina where we should arrive by midnight. We are driving 12 hour days this weekend. Tomorrow we plan to rehome another turtle and also our pigeons in Georgia before heading back up to SC again for the night. Day 3 will consist of driving back home. In the meantime, we have tons of cameras set up so we can keep an eye on everyone at home and so we can talk to Tutu through the monitor. Thank you all for chipping in and help us fund our trip down South. We plan to make a couple trips to rehome more locally in Connecticut and keep saving up for our Cali trip which should conclude our rehoming. From there we will continue to place our special needs birds as they complete their recovery.

We have quarantine spaces open here at The Ramsey Loft, if needed, but they seem to have fosters covered and, understandably, they would prefer their remaining pigeons to go straight to their adoptive homes.

If any one is looking to adopt a pigeon, please contact them via Facebook messenger (https://m.me/yazmin.feliz) instagram page (@tutu.pigeon), or text 646-705-8047

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pinky-the-elephant-room · 4 years

Text

Cerulean

● AN: Thanks to @succulent-momma and @drabbles-blurbs-words for editing this for me. A quick note before reading this Japan doesn’t foster in large numbers. So most orphans or neglected children go to a facility called “Children’s homes”. Also, I wanted to take on the trope of the hero “breaking their lover’s heart to save them” usually it ends up with the said lover being heartbroken for years before the hero finds them again and voila! Everything is fine and dandy after the truth comes out. I really dislike this trope so I wanted to do a prompt to expand more on this.

● Warning: This prompt includes underage sex between two minors, explicit sex, consensual sex, and angst read at your own discretion. For those who are Nana fans I also warn you read cautiously.

● Young All Might x Fem Reader

●●●●●

Y/N frowned at Nana-neesan; her frown became even more severe at the sight of the taller blonde man.

“What do you want, nee-san? You made it clear that you didn’t want me to interfere with your work when you left me here,” she murmured under her breath while keeping an eye on the blonde that was nervously looking from her older sister to her.

Here being the children’s home for abused and abandoned orphans. Yes, she had a living older sister who could have taken care of her but chose not to due to her dangerous job as a Pro Hero complete with a maniacal evil villain.

Nana sent a sorrowful smile towards her.

“I know you aren’t happy with my decision, but I promise I would rather you be alive here than dead with me. You being alive in front of my eyes means everything to me even if it means that I won’t see you as often.”

Y/N had heard this speech over and over again, she should understand her intentions by now, right? She understands that her older sister spends time-saving the entirety of Japan, but all she wants is to go home and see her family regularly. She wanted to see her infant nephew that was only 3 months old. So, she should understand, but Y/N couldn’t help the bitterness bubbling inside of her.

Nana gestured to the man next to her.

“This is my student and successor, Yagi Toshinori. I want you and him to get along. Think of him as your oni-san. He’ll protect you when I can’t,” she told her. The glint in Nana’s eyes showed the pride and joy she held for her student.

That revelation only made things worse for Y/N. What was nee-san doing now? Picking up strays off the street and replacing her real siblings? Sure, she didn’t have a quirk like nee san’s, but it didn’t mean she was worthless. It didn’t mean she deserved to be abandoned at a children’s home.

Y/N sent a vicious glare to the man well more like boy named Yagi.

“He is not my oni-san. I might live here right now, but I have a family. And I don’t remember my parents having a boy,” Y/N growled out and sent one last look at her sister. She seemed to be pleading with Y/N before a resigned look settled in her eyes.

She stomped over to the caretaker and told her that the visit was over. The official just nodded and politely asked Nana-neesan to leave. She only stared at Y/N for a few more moments before heeding the request and leaving her alone again in the facility. It shouldn’t hurt, after all, she had already been here since she was 15 and now her 16th birthday was only a few months away. And yet, to see her sister’s back as she left again, it tore another piece of her on the inside. The worst thing was Y/N should hate her with every fiber of her being, but she couldn’t. She wanted her family and her sister. Not this stranger who upheld the One for All legacy over the cost of her own blood.

So, Y/N hardened her heart and trudged back to her shared room with another abandoned girl who only smiled in sympathy at her plight.

“Ne Y/N, look I bought some snacks from the nearby convenience store with my allowance. Want some?”

She shook her head at the girl’s earnest look and scooted over to her friend. “I thought you were on a diet.”

Her friend only shrugged and held out a chocolate bar which Y/N took a generous bite out of.

“Trust me, whenever these parents or foster people come to check on us. We need this!”

Y/N didn’t voice her agreement out loud but took another bite of her chocolate as the two lonely girls chatted and comforted each other for the sorrows that were beyond their control.

●●●●●

Unfortunately, that last disastrous visit was not the end of it. It seemed Yagi had taken it upon himself to befriend the lone sister of his teacher. He started showing up at the facility even without nee-san. Y/N didn’t ask him if her sister knew what her student was doing. At first, she refused all visits from him, but he left presents for her. Snacks, chocolate, makeup (haphazardly bought but luxurious nonetheless), and even envelopes with small amounts of spending money. Finally, she got fed up with it and confronted him.

“Do you think I’m cheap and easy that you can buy my affections with all this stuff? I told you I don’t want another sibling, nor do I need one,” she huffed angrily at him. The idiotic man just smiled with jubilation in return to her censure. “Why are you smiling? Do you think making me angry and upset is funny?”

He quickly crossed his hands in an X and shook his head. “No! I’m just happy you’re finally talking to me and I get it. I know that it’s weird for someone to come out of nowhere and act like your brother. But that’s just Shishou’s wish for us to get along.”

Y/N could feel her annoyance build up and replied, “well it’s always been about what she wants isn’t it? Never about what I want or what my wishes are. Did she even think about how I would feel when she brought her student to meet me and ask me to treat you like family when she left me here? No, she didn’t! Just like she didn’t consider how all of this is impacting me. Does she even care?”

The last part ruined her and the lump in her throat caused her voice to break as she voiced out her deepest fears to the guiltless boy in front of her. Yagi stepped in front of her and grabbed both of her shoulders. Y/N let out a gasp when he pulled her close and she could see the depth in his ocean eyes.

“Gomen. I can’t say I know everything that happened between Shishou and you. I can see that her sacrifices have hurt you and nothing I do will ever erase those hurts. I won’t ever replace the family that you had nor the sister you want. But I can be the friend you need.”

His eyes shined brightly with resolve and she wanted to believe him. Y/N was so tired of this past year, everything that could possibly go wrong had gone wrong. Y/N tried to slip out of his strong grasp and separate herself from his expectations.

“Please,” he urged softly.

Y/N looked back into his eyes and felt her trepidation crumble.

“Fine. We can try being friends, but the second you act out of line. You will stop visiting me.” She warned him.

Again, he sent a delighted smile her way and brought her in for a tight hug. Y/N felt her cheeks heat up and tried to push him away from her.

“Thanks! I promise you won’t regret giving me a chance.”

Y/N scoffed and pushed against his strong chest even harder. “I already do,” she murmured to herself as the overly joyful man finally let her go.

●●●●●

Over the next couple of months, Toshinori made good on his promise and she saw him more often than her sister. She saw him after he got accepted into U.A. and he shared his elation with her. She saw him as he failed several times to defeat someone named Gran Torino. She even stayed and listened to him as he babbled on about her nee-san’s ideals of saving people with a smile. They grew closer than she ever thought possible. And so, it wasn’t a surprise that closeness evolved into something else.

“Here you go, Y/N-chan!” he handed over a gift wrapped up nicely. Her 16th birthday had included well wishes from the caretakers within the facility, her roommate, and her too often absent sister. But Toshinori had held off the celebrations until he was able to get a reprieve from U.A. to visit her.

She read the card first, it was a sloppily written card with her name on it. Y/N snickered at the butchered Kanji rather than the expected elegant calligraphy from her sister’s protegee. Finally, she took apart the present. It was a picture of kittens with bows on it. She felt her eyebrows twitch and sent Toshinori a glare. He knew how badly she wanted a pet, but the facility wouldn’t allow it.

She took the frame out and held it up to hit him with it. “You jerk! How could you do this on my birthday!”

“Wait..Wait! It’s not what you think!” he yelled out while avoiding her hits easily.

She huffed and said, “explain now! Before I beat you senseless with this cute frame.”

“Do you remember that kitten you saved from the streets and brought them to the nearest vet? Well, one of those kittens are him and the rest of those kittens have all found homes. They were going to be put down in the shelter due to limited space and because they were FIV positive. However, I’ve spent time and money to ensure that all of them found homes.”

Y/N looked down at the frame and sure enough one of them resembled the orange fluff ball she rescued from a storm drain.

“I know it’s not the pet you wanted. But until you can get one for yourself. I hope this is enough.”

She stared at him unblinkingly and he started getting unnerved with the way she was insistently staring without uttering a word.

“It’s a bad present, isn’t it? I’m sorry I thought it was a good idea and I’ve never bought a gift for a girl before. You know what? You can keep the frame and we can go out for dinner instead. My treat- Mprrh!” His rambling was cut off by her lips capturing Toshinori’s.

He didn’t waste a second, tugging her into his arms, and responding with fervent enthusiasm. He felt so warm, she couldn’t remember the last time someone just held her. First, she had lost her parents. And then her nee-san increasingly disappeared on her heroic crusade until she finally dumped her at this facility. It felt so right in his strong arms and a sigh of content escaped her as his tongue traced her lips as if asking for permission. She granted it and fell into a deeper escape. For the last few months, since she had gotten to know Toshinori, everything felt lighter. And the fact she was forsaken no longer weighed heavily on her being. He was the first good thing to happen that was entirely hers. Y/N’s feelings only grew more severe when she saw the depths he would go for her. But she feared that his kindness was something he shared with everyone or that he only cared for her because of nee-san. But now she could feel his tongue explore her mouth with zeal, tempting her body to respond with needy whimpers. Y/N was sure that her fears were unfounded. They only separated when air became necessary but even then, they stayed engrossed in each other. Toshinori rested his forehead against hers. She was unable to look away when he looked at her with such unrestrained and open adoration.

“Is it .… always like that?” he asked as he gasped for breath.

“I’m not sure,” she admitted, afraid to let him know that he was her first kiss.

He only stared at her with starry eyes and no judgment as he brought her into another kiss and another; until she could no longer spare time as curfew forced her to return.

The rest of the year was spent with them sneaking out to meet each other whenever it was possible. Her nee-san seemed suspicious at the newfound familiarity between her imouto and student. But at the same time, she was relieved to know there was someone else to look out for Y/N. She never did suspect that the way Toshinori and Y/N were spending time was hardly in a way that normal friends ever attempted.

●●●●●

One particular weekend Y/N found herself at Toshinori’s apartment. He stayed there whenever he wasn’t training or was at U.A. It was a fairly decent apartment. It lacked any personal items only containing the necessity. She waited patiently in the apartment while the blonde went to the restroom. She couldn’t help herself when she went exploring through his space. Opening doors and peeking inside whatever that was unlocked. Y/N always did have a habit of being nosey and a sneak, so she didn’t think twice when she came to Toshi’s room and swung it open. Though, even his bedroom wasn’t much to look at; except he had a nice large bed instead of a futon. She was just about to leave disappointed when she spotted a sparkly gift bag tucked away on a desk.

Now normally going through people’s gifts and precious items was going too far even for her, but that gift bag’s logo was familiar to her. It was the bag of the most famous lingerie brand in Japan. She didn’t buy lingerie for herself, but she did buy regularly their bras and panties whenever necessary. So, the fact that her boyfriend had something from them in his room and she didn’t know about it, well she felt justified to look through said gift bag.

Y/N sifted through the purple wrapping paper and a receipt before coming across a babydoll lingerie. She breathed a sigh of relief when she realized the garment still had its tags on it. Did that mean Toshi bought it for her and had yet to give it to her? She had to admit his taste in lingerie was very tasteful. It was sheer mauve with black trimmings on its edges and with a matching panty. Though the amount of lace on the fabric was kind of surprising, he didn’t seem like the type of guy who would like lace.

“Hey, are you in here?” Toshi yelled out when he came into the room only to let out a strangled gasp when he saw her standing there with the babydoll in hand.

Y/N only raised her eyebrow meaningfully at him.

“It’s not what you think!” he stuttered trying to find an excuse as to why he had that in his room. “Ok. It’s exactly what you think….. I like lace?.... And I thought you would look pretty in it?”

See if she didn’t know Toshinori as well as she did, Y/N would have thought he was lying. But she knew it was the truth; from the way he looked directly in her eyes and the fact that every time they got intimate, he acted angsty. Like he wanted more. She waited for him to ask permission to go further but he never did. Maybe this was his way to suggest it without putting too much pressure on her.

She looked at the soft revealing garment in her hand and his panicked face. Y/N started unzipping her hoody and let it fall to the floor.

His breath hitched and he murmured, “w-what are you doing?”

“Well, you bought it for me, didn’t you? Don’t you think I should try it on?”

Keeping eye contact Y/N unbuttoned her jeans and tugged them off too. She then reached over and pulled off her tank top and added it to the pile. Toshinori on the other hand had his entire face flushed red. His eyes wildly moved from her face to her body as if he didn’t know what to savor first. She reached behind and unbuckled her bra from its hook. She made sure not to look at her boyfriend while she shed her panty. Her last piece of clothing as she didn’t want to lose her nerve. Grabbing the babydoll she pulled it over her head and the slick material slid down her body. It barely covered her butt and her nipples strained against the material.

“So, what do you think?” Y/N asked with a nervous smile.

His nervous composure disappeared, and he confidently strode towards her. He touched her hair and loosened the bun she had pilled her hair in. Her long hair fell in waves and framed her face delicately, he smiled at the sight she made.

“Now it’s perfect. You look beautiful,” he said as he reached down to kiss her.

She didn’t know how they got from standing and kissing softly in the middle of the room and to his bed. Toshinori somewhere along the way had shed all his clothes, settling his hard body against her soft curves. Her first time was everything she imagined, the love in his eyes as she trusted him to take care of her. The horror stories of how much it hurt weren’t true in her case because all she could see was the exquisiteness of the ocean in his eyes. Did he know how expressive they were? They told so many stories from just their azure hues. She had seen them in sadness, fear, and joy. But they never shined with such brilliance until she stared above at him caging her tiny body protectively.

“Toshi.. hnggg~..” she whimpered out as he roughly palmed her breasts over the mauve intimate apparel.

He wouldn’t let her take it off, preferring her in it. Saying he liked the way her body appeared so sinful and tempting while she blushed and squirmed underneath him.

She let out another gasp when his cock slid in with the exact angle she needed, and her body arched accordingly. She spread her thighs more and hooked them around his waist so that he could move in easier without many obstacles. It felt like a warm entity had entered and filled her up just when she needed it. She felt Toshinori’s large hands secure themselves around her waist and lift her entire body. She let out a yelp and then a loud moan when he slammed her back down.

Y/N could vaguely hear his praises amongst his groans, the sounds of the bed slamming against the wall and the obscene wet sounds of their sexes intermingling. He told her how gorgeous she looked and how much he loved her.

She could feel herself spiraling before she lost it again and again. Y/N realized with frustration that Toshi was purposely changing his rhythm and speed.

Once again when her pleasure stopped midway, she let out a sob.

“Please, baby. I c-can’t.”

“Not yet. I promise I’ll give you what you need. Just wait,” Toshinori crooned as he ragdolled her body with his powerful thrusts.

Her short-bitten nails dug into his skin when she felt him lap at her perky cleavage. The thin soaked fabric clung to her body lewdly and it only encouraged his explorations. She grabbed the back of his head and encouraged him to suck the other neglected breast. When she felt him gingerly lick the fabric that covered the taut nub before sucking deeply, she finally lost it. Her muscles started squeezing around his member and the flutters started pulsing. The pulses came faster and faster as he helped her ride it out.

The base of his cock felt heavy and tight. Toshinori slipped out of her surging cunt and spilled more of her juices onto his bedsheets. Keeping her thighs together, he used her thickness to stimulate himself and spilled his cum. He watched captivated as his sticky fluid ran down her thighs.

The two lovers drifted off to sleep after their exertion. And when Y/N returned to the Children’s home the next day only to be punished for staying out without permission, she couldn’t help but think it was worth it.

●●●●●

Y/N ran through the hospital at top speed, trying to dodge oncoming patients and nurses. She spotted Toshinori standing next to a curiously short man.

“Toshi! Are you okay? I heard you and nee-san were involved in something big!” Y/N asked in a panic looking over his bruised and bandaged cheeks.

She looked up at him worriedly when he cupped her face gently.

“Y/N, Nana-shishou is… She’s gone.”

It felt like her entire life came to a standstill. “Gone where? Toshi, that’s not a funny joke,” she observed his face looking for any signs that he might be kidding, only to realize he wasn’t.

“No! That can’t be true. Nee-san was strong there’s no way!” There were no tears or anything that might qualify as grief. Instead, she felt anger.

“Of course! She left me here all alone! All for what??! A country that doesn’t even know her name? She’ll be forgotten like the rest of the heroes! Nobody’s going to remember her and what about Kotaro? Did she even for a second think about what would happen to her son?” Her rage growing more incense by each sentence.

“Now listen here, girl! I don’t care if you are family, but I will not let you belittle her sacrifice!” The old man butted in.

“Who the hell are you? And why are you butting in my business?” She snapped at the Oji-san that barely came up to her hips.

The old man lifted his hand like he was about to hit her when Toshinori stepped in.

“Gran Torino, please Y/N’s shocked right now. There’s no need for that.” He grabbed her hand and took her away from the hospital.

They both stood outside as the cloudy weather and humid air swarmed to create a gloomy atmosphere. She sobbed in his embrace as he hugged her close.

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault. Shishou was protecting me. If only I was stronger then I could have saved her.”

Y/N could have blamed him, but there was no point because taking it out on her boyfriend would not bring her older sister back. So, she only hugged him tighter as if she was trying to prevent him from leaving her too.

●●●●●

Although, she should have known in hindsight that people who were meant to leave always did regardless of what you wanted. A month after nee-san’s death, Toshinori stuck close. But as timed passed, he no longer could afford to as he had to up his training to fight the villain that caused her last remaining family’s death. He was drifting farther and farther away despite her clinging to him. She felt helpless.

So, imagine her surprise when she saw Toshinori waiting for her at the Children’s home as she returned from school.

“Toshi! You’re here! This is a surprise!” she squealed with happiness and kissed his cheek quickly.

She looked around to see no one in the garden behind the facility and so she pressed her lips against his in haste.

“I’ve missed you so much,” she murmured only for him to relinquish her hold and step back. His action caused her to flinch and her heart to clench. Y/N had a terrible feeling, was someone else dead now too? Was it Kotaro? She only knew that her nephew was given up to adoption.

“Toshi? What’s wrong? You’re scaring me.”

Toshinori only stared at the ground for a few minutes, his bangs hiding his face.

“Y/N, you and I have been together for a year and a couple of months, now right?”

She hummed an affirmative and shuffled closer to him only for Toshi to step back further.

“When I first saw you, I didn’t think we would make it this far. It wasn’t my intention. But we’ve come to care for one another. And I can’t lie to you anymore. I once told you I love you. And you told me the same, even now you look at me with expectations and love. I just can’t do this anymore. It would be wrong of me to lead you on like this.”

The words weighed upon her like someone was compressing her chest. Y/N suddenly felt like she couldn’t breathe, her heart racing out of control.

“What are you saying? This doesn’t make sense just a few months ago you were telling me you loved me. Toshi, why are you lying to me? And why won’t you look at me!”

He looked up from the ground to reveal his vulnerable eyes. The same eyes that would showcase how much he cared for her. Now they were filled with fear, only to harden with determination.

“I’m not lying. I did love you months ago. But now that Shishou is gone and I’m left with her legacy. I need space and I need to grow. I don’t need someone who will cling to me and expect me to solve all her problems! You’re suffocating me and I can’t breathe around you. When you needed me months ago, I felt like I could make everything better for you. But now I know the truth that even heroes can’t save everyone-“

She interrupted his tirade with a choked sob and his face twisted with agony.

“Get out,” she whispered.

Just like all those months ago when Nana-neesan left her behind at this lonely place, Y/N hardened her heart once again.

“I said GET OUT! I don’t want to see your face again!” She screamed.

“Y/N, I—” He reached out to her.

“Don’t! I never asked for your help. I never asked for you to come save me. I was fine by myself then and I’m going to be fine now. So, I’m giving you your freedom. Get out, Yagi Toshinori.”

She waited a few minutes for him to leave, only he wasn’t. He kept staring at her with torment.

“Fine, I’ll do you one last favor because in the past we loved and respected each other.” With that, she left him in that back garden only to keep walking until that facility was out of sight.

●●●●●

Y/N realized years later that the people who leave and those who you leave behind don’t really disappear from your life. The experiences and memories she retained left their marks on her like a blueprint. So, she instead decides to fill those spaces with new passions and loves. Y/N graduated from college and eventually went on to become a teacher. She figured that either she could despair about the circumstances she was dumped with or she could turn it into an opportunity.

While remaining under the custody of the prefecture she was able to get financial help to further her education and make something out of her life. All the while searching for her last kin, Kotaro. There were a few paper trails as to who exactly adopted her nephew, but they lead nowhere; she kept an eye out for any information regarding him.

As she moved on and created a life for herself, he eventually came back to Japan. Bursting into the scene as a top hero, it was hard to see him at first. But even that ache disappeared as his face cropped up on every single piece of merchandise possible. She even reluctantly bought an All Might ramen only because that was her favorite flavor and it happened to be endorsed by him.

But she never did expect to meet him face to face years later.

●●●●●

A villain cackled as the hostages and Y/N waited anxiously for a hero to rescue them. She was just minding her business, trying to deposit her usual check when this unfortunate incident happened. However, she didn’t realize that the more frightening individual was the man coming to rescue them. Not the low tier criminal. All too soon she heard his joy-filled laugh, it uplifted the spirits of those surrounding him and flooded her up with more regret.

‘I should have just stayed home. This could have waited till tomorrow.’ She couldn’t help but think.

When everyone else was rescued, she kept her head down trying to escape before he noticed her. There were like 50 other hostages hopefully they won’t notice. But luck was not on her side as an EMT called her over and began checking for signs of distress. Y/N only scowled with annoyance at the pestering man who seemed to realize she wasn’t too happy and was all too eager to let her go.

Unfortunately for her, she also got stopped by an officer who wanted to take a statement. Regrettably, Y/N couldn’t intimidate the officer into letting her go and with reluctance, she started answering her questions.

“Name, age, and occupation. And what you were doing at the bank?” The officer drawled.

“My name is L/N Y/N and I’m 26 years old. I’m an elementary school teacher and I was going to deposit my recent check when this event happened.”

The officer continued with her bored composure writing down the answers before letting Y/N go with a bow.

She sighed with relief and was about to step away when at the same time she saw All Might turn around after talking to a detective. The two looked across each other through the mayhem and made eye contact. Even from far away, she could see the way his eyes widened, and his jaw dropped in surprise. Her face paled and she quickly took off in any direction trying to avoid the man she hadn’t thought about in years.

Y/N ran for blocks, hightailing it in her heels. The awful shoes pinched and dug into her feet. But when she stopped to see no one pursuing she relaxed and thought that the pain was worth avoiding the awkward past.

Only for All Might to come flying through the city and landing unceremoniously in front of her.

‘This just isn’t my day is it?’ her thoughts spiraled as she longingly eyed the street behind the robust hero.

“Y/N! I’m so glad to see you! I’ve been looking for you, but you disappeared after graduating college,” he began.

“Well, that’s what happens when you don’t want people to find you. Toshinori, why were you looking for me? We aren’t friends and we didn’t end on a good note. There’s no need for happy reunions now are there? Excuse me,” she replied trying to bypass the hero.

He grabbed her hand to prevent her from leaving.

“Wait! That’s what I want to talk about. When I left, I said some horrible things to you and despite everything, I still care about you. I never should have said any of it to you especially knowing what you were going through.”

Y/N paused and listened to his words; she licked her dry lips nervously and wondered if his words held any merit now.

“Back then you lied, didn’t you? You were leaving for America and so you decided to pick up on my nee-san’s bad habit of lying and misleading people to protect them.”

She turned around to face him, the man that broke her heart all those years ago.

“H-how did you know?”

Y/N let out a weak chuckle. “I tracked him down. When we broke up and I eventually lost my pride. I came to find you and convince you to give us another chance. But the Oji-san told me you already left for America. And that’s when I knew you were lying. I suppose you learned from the best. She never told me the truth, you know? I never knew about the burden of One for All and I never knew about All for One. All this time I was kept in the dark and I had all these questions running through my mind. I’m not sure if the answers would have made me happier but I would have eventually understood. And she even took that away from me.”

Y/N finally took a close look at Toshi and noticed all the hard edges to his face. He was more mature, and his body was rippled with muscles. But his eyes were still the same. Those ocean eyes she loved so much.

He looked at her sadly and bowed deeply. “I’m sorry, Y/N. Please forgive me. I just wanted to keep you safe. I lost Shishou and I couldn’t lose you too.”

She felt embarrassed at the reverence Japan’s biggest hero was showing her, a nobody.

“Please, there’s no need for that. I’m not mad anymore. I’m happy for you, Toshi. And I’m happy for your success.”

He straightened up and gave her a wobbly smile that didn’t suit All Might. Y/N decided this emotional reunion was getting too much for her, she stepped around him once more. He once again grabbed her hand to prevent Y/N from leaving.

“Where are you going? We just met after so long.”

Y/N only smiled sadly at him.

“I’m tired of people lying to me and I’m tired of waiting for people to come back.”

He only looked confused and tried desperately to reassure her.

“I’m right here in front of you and I’ve come back.”

She placed her hand on top of his and slowly unraveled his fingers and his tight grip.

“You didn’t come back for me. Go become the symbol of peace like she wanted. I’ll be watching and cheering you on. Safe and sound from afar like you wanted, but just not with you.”

Toshinori was speechless for the first time since he appeared in front of her. His eyes’ shine now seemed a bit duller and suspiciously wet.

Y/N repeated his earlier gesture and bowed deeply to him with respect.

“Thank you so much and goodbye, All Might.”

He didn’t try to stop her that time and let her leave. As Y/N walked down that empty street and looked above to see the crescent moon shining brightly, she couldn’t help but think to herself that she was all grown up now and no longer needed Toshi or nee-san to feel whole.

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synoxshots · 3 years

Text

The Master KOTFE Adventure

My latest project has been playing through KotFE on master mode.

Why ever would you want to do that? you may ask, and I have asked myself the same thing. In short, it was a mix of having a light sided empire toon that I didn't want the autocompletes on, and the fact that he is also the best geared character I've ever had and the discipline I've had most experience playing. And I've run through KotFE quite a few times so, freshening it up I guess?

So this is how it went. This isn't a guide - more, a record of my experiences as I went through. As ever, some things I found easy others might find hard, and (more likely, lbr) vice versa.

The gamer:

I play a Rage Jugg, wear Descent of the Fearless set, gear level 306 with a full set of 286 augments. So - very well geared, but not fully optimised stats wise. Experience wise for this - I'd done a few chapters on vet mode before with a Guardian (Focus) and Powertech (Pyrotech) though not always at max gear (probably in the 290s when I first gave it a go), and I like trying to solo group content like vet fps (master for Red Reaper only) because I don't love myself, I guess. A smidge of ops experience. I'm reasonably competent as a player but also prone to stupid, I don't claim to be great by any means.

Chapter I

All went smoothly, died on the last fight against the BD-148 elite skytrooper - but that was just because I forgot about heroic moments existing, given that half the chapter is spent without a companion. Used my enraged defence a few times but never really felt at risk of dying. Apart from the one time when I did, obviously. Marr goes up to 28 influence automatically. Lots of mobs can be skipped as they're already engaged in fights.

Chapter II

Quite a few mobs you can skip around. Valkorion heals you though he's not a companion so no heroic moment. Last monolith did get me close to death sometimes, so there was a bit of running away so I could heal up a bit more, and making good use of defensive abilities. But no deaths on this one!

Chapter III

I died twice on this one, both were easily preventable. The first was against the Ground Assault Walker (massive droid before the bridge) and pretty much because I hadn't raised Lana's influence yet, so I upped it to 20 before starting the fight again and cleared it very quickly. Sidenote: a while back I bought a bunch of Spiced Aric Tongue from the Jawa scrap peddlers as I didn't know what else to do with all that, Lana accepts it so it's a nice quick way to up her level (Koth likes it too, a lot, which is handy). Second death was against like, a handful of skytroopers when I was shutting down the reactor and really it was mostly because I wasn't paying attention properly, though Lana died both times at this point. There's another fight where these prototype skytroopers keep swarming and I was a bit nervous because there were kolto stations there and I couldn't entirely remember how intense it got. The answer was...not intense at all and I definitely didn't need them. The final fight on this one is the two Zakuul knights but they didn't cause me any problems. All in all I'd say the deaths I've had so far have all been my own fault.

Chapter IV

This...did not go as well. And I'm not entirely sure why, just bad play on my part I think mostly, sometimes there are days when I just play like trash *shrug*. Not timing things like enraged defence, heroic moments and so on very well which meant I died a few times to wildlife - twice the larger bosses, twice mobs of normal/strong ones. Yeah... Kept upping my companion influence so all three (Lana, Koth and HK by this point) got up to 27 but I think even higher than that may be needed as they just didn't seem to be healing well.

Chap V

I was a bit wary heading into this one, as it was one I'd run before on vet mode and remembered having trouble with the skytrooper waves. I was less geared then though, and had less companion influence doing that, having now taken everyone up to about 32. I didn't record any deaths on this though had a near miss - but I had saved my enraged defence/heroic moment and so on and hit them at the right time. Hey, I'm playing smarter!

Chapter VI

I found this chapter easy when I'd run it on veteran not long before, but that was not the case on master. Died the first time against Oggo, that was my own fault though, although he does have one particular ability that hits very hard. Then came the Scions. Ohhh boy. The first two you face killed me, fair enough I hadn't had a chance to raise Senya's influence yet. The second two, Venat and Berusal, caused me pain. The good thing is that when fighting the pairs and you take one down, if you die the other doesn't respawn. The other good thing is that Venat and Berusal can be pulled separately, the bad news is I found this out after a few attempts. And Berusal still killed me on his own the first time. I was not having a fun time. And then you face Heskal without a companion. It takes a bit of tactics. I tried to damage him whilst he was doing Debris Storm, though still had to avoid the red circles. Turbulence gives a lot of damage, so had to hastily get out the way/interrupt it. He also stuns you which isn't fun. Valky pops up and offers you an out after the first phase, unfortunately I decided to stay true to character and not take it. Bad times were had. I went to lunch. I asked a friend to help. My internet got switched off before that could happen. I found out I was able to summon a companion...I know I'm not supposed to story wise, and I'm not sure if you can normally (there's a lot of times when companion summon buttons are greyed out due to story restrictions) or if this was only because I'd previously logged out...but suddenly the fight became a lot easier. Funny that. Sigh. Moving on...

Chapter VII

Honestly not much to say about this one, nothing that caused me trouble. A lot of it is in the open world so regular difficulty rather than scaled to master.

Chapter VIII

This one wasn't much trouble either, did die once when stuff was on cooldown, once in the final Arcann fight. Kiting him over and hitting the conduits there is a big help as they stun him, that is probably very obvious but I've literally never bothered with them on story or vet mode. We're halfway there!

Chapter X

This one also gave me a Time. The problem I had was when you come up against Faedral and Zaamsk. My first thought was the difficulty was because I hadn't raised Kaliyo's influence (oops, but you get her on the spot and I didn't have gifts handy...or at least the ones I thought she liked she didn't actually) (this is how I found out that agent!Kaliyo and alliance!Kaliyo have different preferences, apparently this will also apply to other - but not all - returning companions). But I raised her to 28 and still kept dying. It's a bit of a nasty fight honestly, and the guide I looked at said that juggs...aren’t ideal for it. Crowd control and interrupts are very handy. I kept getting really close to getting one of them down and dying just before I could, super annoying because it's another of those where if you take one down and die, you only have to face the other one. I took a break and read the guide more closely, watched some videos, and ultimately just decided to bring someone along to avoid the pain, or maybe share in it. I still died but we got through them. The fight against Tayvor Slen, the boss fight of the chapter, took a couple of tries with two of us - the first time I got stuck in a red circle and pretty much insta-killed. There was a bit of a close call on the second attempt but it was under control really. The achievement then comes through for chapter completion, all you have to do then is get out of the Overwatch, all things rosy right? Oh how wrong they were. A bunch of Zakuul Knights came along and literally just slaughtered us, full on, one-shotting us both - it was hilarious and extremely confusing because why?? how?? Did the bonus mission to get the prisoners to escape (look out for the glowing terminal, it says 'Overwatch Prison Logs' when you hover over it) - they one-shot a few Knights but then disappeared on us too. Who knows. But we got through it.

Chapter XI

A much nicer one though still had a handful of deaths. Where you meet up with Havoc Squad there's ambush of Skytroopers, followed by a couple of walkers - and the walkers beat me. They cast circles that I just couldn't get out of in time to save my health, even with my defensives. I'm not sure if they were the type to follow you or a sort of stamp move (I should have looked at the cast bar, come to think of it) - I suspect though it was the latter and so it wouldn't be an issue on a ranged character. The fight though does continue around you if you die so you don't lose the progress you make, just use the med probe, revive and rejoin. I only took Jorgan to level 7 because that was all the gifts I had, but most of the mobs were just regular trash, typically 3 at a time, which was no worry. When you attack the base the Knights are a bit harder - there's one round the back that does stealth strikes and that's a difficult one to face. I died - the respawn to medbay actually puts you inside the part with the forcefield you're supposed to take down, and then you can't get out of it...I maintain that I did find a way past the forcefield but it doesn't work as a cheesing method. Use your med probe, otherwise it's quick travel out and re-enter your phase. The final battle is a big droid (I forgot the name of it). It spawns a bunch of smaller droids, just ignore those and go for the boss - I didn't the first time and that's why I died - I lost Jorgan, I had two Knights chasing me whilst the droid put up shields, it didn't go well - second time I did it in less than a minute whilst using a heroic moment.

Chapter XII

This one you don't have a companion for, though it's not a big deal - for the most part my main enemy, as tends to be the case on this chapter, was the map. I think the regular mobs are scaled down a bit for playing without a companion. You can pick up an animal to help you as well, which you may as well do as things just die quicker. It runs off in caves. Valkorion does take your health down a fair chunk before he gives you his beat down but it wasn't so bad. Vaylin though took quite a few attempts. You can't interrupt her so you have to be on the ball with your defensives and timing them all, which includes the shield and medpac given in your temporary bar for the chapter. Really the medpac isn't that effective so don't count on it. There's a lot of running around as she casts red circles. Probably easier with a character with more self heals. I got through it after a few efforts, after getting close a few times, though even then I was still low on health by the end.

Chapter XIII

Yeah, this one was no trouble really, and that was with Gault at only level 4 influence. If things get hairy whack a bit more on him, there's no real mechanics to pose problems. As ever, good practice to stay out of circles on the boss fight, you have Vette there as well so a bit of extra damage going and yeah. Nothing to worry about.

Chapter XIV

Another that was nice and simple, I didn't even have any gifts to give Torian so was wandering around with him on level 1. Just a matter of timing defensives and heroic moments in that case. Lots is open world, too. Final boss fight was no problem at all.

Chapter XV

Reading guides for this put the fear of god into me, so I was pleasantly surprised to find it better than expected. The bosses were the toughest parts. The first is the Skytrooper Constructor, that one does spawn adds after a while as well. It killed me a couple of times but really I'm not sure what the best strategy was so I just went for the classic, burn it as fast as I possibly can and making use of heroic moment/defensives as well. The GEMINI droid at the end had me worried. That took 3 attempts (maybe 4, I think it was just 3 though), one of those my heroic moment was still on cooldown and Senya died quickly on it too. It was really just about managing defensives effectively as well, running away when she has the red cone in front of you, using the heroic moment for extra speedy damage. It was a close call in the end but my enraged defence came off cooldown at the perfect moment, thank you Grit Teeth. I wouldn't say this was an easy chapter by any means so quite proud of myself for getting through it on my own! The other thing I would say is watch out for the lasers - they don't do lots of damage on story mode, but on master they one-shot you if you get caught in them! The other various traps I probably got through easier than I have on the lower difficulties which may just be a testament to this being like, my fifth complete kotfe run at this stage haha.

Chapter XVI

The final chapter...and the one I was the most scared of. Took Lana up to lvl 50 in preparation...she duly died early on in the first boss anyway. KJ-931 is the first boss - I say first boss, there's still a high rank enemy immediately before that I died to a few times anyway and needed a heroic moment to beat. First attempt against KJ I actually came really close. Stay out of the aoes - there's a white circle and a yellow cone, as well as a big red laser thing where you have to rush to the corner and if you can - micromanage Lana well enough that she doesn't get caught up in them too. So I learnt that I am not good at micromanaging companions like that. Take the turrets rather than the shields, definitely - apparently the shields also have limited use, the turrets pull aggro as well as giving you damage so they're very handy. Sometimes on this fight I got one-shotted very quickly, others I managed to hold on a bit - but it was the first attempt that was my best run until I actually did it. Honestly I can't say what the trick was to finally getting it right...just a lot of blind panic and luck. Second boss is Dara Nadal - I found it easier to just go for the intense burn on her - put down the turrets, use a heroic moment, set Lana to damage as well and burn. Still took a few attempts on her but each time I was getting very close so I knew I would get there.

And then came Arcann. Ooooh boy. I'd been reading guides and watching videos in preparation but there's still a lot to keep on top of. I decided to use the Marr & Satele Special Saber rather than my usual one - having the benefit of being able to run around quickly was handy, and the other ability reflects damage from his saber attack. This took many attempts - some that went very quickly, some that got him to his final phase. Rather than going into specifics I'm going to link to this video as it probably explains what to do best (it’s handy for all the bosses). You really have to watch for the moment he gets to ~25% and stands in one spot - if you aren't able to do the shield whacky he will kill you straight up. My first time running towards him with the shield in that very last phase I died on the way up. It took me a long time and a lot on repair bills but this is another one I was very proud of for getting through on my own as there were times I didn't think I would.

General stuff:

I would say doing this is not for the light-hearted but it’s certainly possible! Apart from one chapter where I grabbed a friend I got through them all on my own

Some classes fair better in certain chapters than others. I went with my Jugg all the way through, but if you have the characters geared and you know them well enough - and you're doing this for the cheevos rather than going through the storyline - you're likely better off mixing and matching as you go. There were many occasions I wished I had range.

You will die to trash mobs. It is a fact of life. It feels embarrassing in the early chapters, you come to accept this and move on.

Companion influence helps a lot. Koth, Lana, and Senya all like delicacies (especially Koth, that man can eat) - you can grab these from the Jawa vendors in the cartel bazaar on fleet.

Med droids are also a booming industry thanks to the amount I've spent on repairs in the course of this.

There are more mechanics compared to story mode, and some that exist in story mode that you just notice more on master. But apparently the difference between vet and master is just artificial - more health and hitting harder.

Going Commando is another good resource for their experiences playing through.

#swtor #kotfe #master kotfe adventures #ro goes achievement hunting #fun fact: completing a master chapter counts for completing the vet chap too #also fun fact: 20 cartel coins each for completing it all on master and vet #pls congratulate and validate me lmao

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simp-for-mha-men · 4 years

Text

𝕔𝕒𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕟 (𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕒 𝕒𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕩 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣)

Request by @hermionie-is-my-queen: Hey! Not necessarily a request, and kind of a scenario proposal: but imagine aizawa and reader adopted a cat a while back together, and the cat gets sick, or has to be put down, and it’s just some comforting fluff? Idk if this falls into the category of no angst so if it does instead maybe visiting a shelter to adopt a new kitty? Tysm anyway! Soft aizawa and soft kitties are my fav

A/N: Yes, yes, and yes! I am so in love with this whole idea. I took a little bit of inspiration from the English voice actor’s Tik Tok and from where I live for this one. School just started back up, too, so I’ll now be taking a bit longer to reply to requests. Sorry! Anyways, I really hope you enjoy it!

Genre: fluffy times with a rescue cat and your boyfriend, angst in the first half due to animal death 🌧️💜

Word count: 2.7k

♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥

It had only been a month. One month ago, you lost your precious siamese cat, Willow. Your boyfriend, Shouta Aizawa, had given her to you once you moved into your first apartment together. She was a gift that kept on giving, whether it was hairballs or purrs. She kept you company through the day while your boyfriend was teaching his students, and you both would welcome him home with kisses and cuddles every day.

Aizawa loved Willow just as much as you did. You were both the lights in his life, and without you, he would feel incomplete. After the worst days at U.A., he could come home and feel at peace due to the loves of his life. It tore him up inside that Willow was gone, but he knew the loss broke you apart even worse than it did him.

He adopted Willow when she was 11. The shelter he went to, usually just to browse, was going to put her down just because of her age. Aizawa formed a bond when he looked into her ocean blue eyes. He knew that she would be perfect not only for him but for you as well. In a matter of minutes, the adoption papers were signed and finalized. A beautiful forest green bow was placed around her neck, and she was on her way to meet the better half of her new owner. The three of you were inseparable when home. Midnight cuddles and afternoon snacks were always a favorite among your little family. Despite you and Aizawa never talking about kids in your future, you felt like Willow was your daughter. It was true perfection and bliss. Sadly, it couldn’t last forever.

When Willow turned 13, she started acting strange. She began hiding around the house more, throwing up whenever she ate, and losing an excessive amount of weight. You decided a check-up was in order, and Aizawa whole-heartedly agreed. Praying for a fluke incident was what you did, but deep down, you knew that wasn’t going to be the case no matter how much you wished it to be. Her vet told you both that she had cancer and wouldn’t live much longer. This caused your world to come spiraling down.

How someone handles the five stages of grief depends on the person. For you, Willow was absolutely fine. You were in absolute denial. Over the two years you and Aizawa raised her, she was always healthy. There was absolutely no way that she could have cancer. Healthy cats don’t get cancer, right? You went about your life with Willow as if everything was normal. Aizawa tried to knock some sense into you, but you blocked it out. A week later, a certain piece of information triggered the second stage of grief.

Aizawa told you that he would be staying home to take care of Willow with you, since she was living her final weeks. Saying you were furious would be an understatement. You took your boyfriend onto the balcony and yelled at him for 15 minutes about how Willow was completely normal. You told him that everything was fine and that she would live longer than what the vet said. Seeing you were too stubborn to change, Aizawa refused talking to you about the matter but still took those extra days off. It lasted like this another week before another trip to the vet.

Once you got home that night, you found yourself on your knees next to the bed. You were praying to whatever deity was in the sky or under the ground to save Willow. You didn’t know if bargaining with the immortal was a sane idea, but you had entered the third stage. Aizawa watched you do this every hour of the day, it seemed. He heard you muttering to yourself in your sleep, begging for Willow’s safety. None of this worked, though. Two weeks after the visit, Willow was back at the vet to be put down for good.

The last month had gone by agonizingly slow. Your boyfriend was back at work, leaving you alone to your own devices. The depression had been the longest stage. You wondered to yourself if you would ever get to the acceptance part of the five stages. Nothing you did to try and clear your mind worked. You tried to write, draw, sing, and dance, but nothing seemed successful. Most days, you were confined to your side of your shared bed, sobbing your eyes out until they looked unusually red and puffy.

Losing an animal shouldn’t hurt this much. You had a cat when you were younger, and when she was put down, you were only upset for a week before understanding it was time to move on. Why did losing Willow hurt so much. The question plagued you day and night. You racked your brain trying to figure out why this pain wouldn’t subside. Why did it sting so badly? Why did the tears keep falling?

When you were starting dinner one evening, your boyfriend came home. He seemed to be in a good mood, which was strange for someone like him. He came around, gave you a quick peck on the cheek, and leaned against the counter next to the stove.

“How was your day, babe?” you asked, mustering up as much fake happiness as possible.

You flashed your lover a quick smile, hoping it hid the pain better than you thought it did. However, you had been dating this man for 3 years. He knew you all too well. Willow’s death had affected you so much, which caused him to mull over it for longer than expected. An animal’s death was, of course, sad, but people usually got over it quickly. Why was it taking you longer?

“Are you alright?” your boyfriend questioned, placing a hand on your upper arm.

Sighing, you answered, “Of course I am.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

You both began a waltz to avoid each other. You stood on the opposite side of the island, setting the places on the table for the both of you to eat. Right as Aizawa met you, you sauntered off back to the stove to turn off the burner. It went on like this for much longer while your words went at each other.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“(y/n)...you’re not.”

“Just shut up, ok?”

“Listen to me...”

“SHUT UP!”

Suddenly, a bright flash of lightning struck outside. The deafening boom from the sky sounded next. In a matter of seconds, a downpour began outside and inside the apartment. Your eyes were filled to the brim with tears. Aizawa froze, giving you time to finally realize why Willow’s death meant so much to you. It was right in front of you the whole time, but your ignorance caused blindness. Just as your boyfriend began to approach you, the tears and truth spilled over.

“She was like our baby,” you began. “Once I moved in with you, I was so scared that you would break up with me. Willow brought us together. No matter what had happened on a bad day, she would fix us back up. It’s like I lost a part of our relationship, Shouta.”

Aizawa was shocked to say the least. In actuality, Aizawa was completely caught off by your statement. He never knew you felt this way about Willow. He knew you had developed a close bond with the feline, but he should’ve noticed sooner the parental role you took for her. He felt like a terrible boyfriend. He felt like he should’ve found a way to keep Willow alive longer. He felt like her death was his fault.

“(y/n), I’m sorry I should’ve--”

“Meow.”

Both of you came to your senses. Did you really just hear a meow? Had Willow come out of her grave to come back to you both? Aizawa looked at you, causing your tears to stop for a moment. Another flash of lightning struck, followed by the familiar thunder. Then, you heard it again.

“Meeeeow.”

Your brain was going crazy. You were already running on endorphins due to the sudden outburst you had at your lover. Now, you felt your fight or flight responses kick in. There’s no way there was a cat at your apartment. Sure, you lived in an area where an animal could get lost, but a stray cat would never be near your complex.

“Meow.”

Taking a deep breath in, you tried to calm your nerves. Silently cursing your boyfriend’s senses, you heard him shuffling over to you. He placed his hands on your hips and kissed your forehead. Aizawa felt guilty. He knew that a cat wouldn’t be outside in this weather, especially if it was a stray. It was just his mind playing tricks on him. His guilty conscience was in full force, or maybe it wasn’t?

“Meeeeow.”

“Ok,” you said, slowly tilting your head up to meet your boyfriend’s gaze. “Please tell me you’re hearing the meowing, too.”

“It’s real?” Aizawa asked, gazing at you with confused eyes.

Shaking your head, you slithered out of his arms. Despite your mind telling you this was a bad idea, you decided to stick with your sudden plan. You were going to check outside. You didn’t know what you would find, but it was worth the risk. Wherever this cat was, you had to find it. You weren’t doing this for you, however, but for Willow.

Placing your hand on the front door knob, you unlocked it and slowly opened it just a little bit. That’s when you saw it. A beautiful tabby cat sat on your front mat, meowing to its heart’s content. It was drenched, laying against the door in search of some warmth. The poor little angel was shivering, but it looked up upon sensing your presence.

“Well, hello there,” you greeted, opening the door wider.

“Meeeeow.”

You bent down and sat on your knees, cooing the little creature forward. Taking your invitation, it sauntered over to you. Once your hand made contact with its back, the cat began rubbing its wet body all over your leg. Laughing slightly, you turned to look at Aizawa.

He was staring at you with true adoration in his eyes. He knew from the moment he met you that you were the one, but this tender moment between you and a stray cat solidified that even more. It was perfect. You were perfect. Despite the past month, he realized what this new stray would mean to you immediately. Willow sent him or her as a gift from heaven. That much had to be true. It was her way of saying that everything would be alright.

“I’ll get some food and water for the little one,” Aizawa said, walking over to first close the door.

“Make sure to get a towel first,” you replied. “I don’t want this poor baby getting sick from being to cold. Right, sweetie?”

The cat gazed at you with thankfulness in its eyes. You felt much different than you had just a few minutes ago. You were no longer sad about Willow. Instead, you were happy her pain had ended when it did, even if it wasn’t in the best way. Somehow, this little stray just happened to choose your doorstep. Your heart was starting to feel whole again. That’s how you came to a simple conclusion: this was fate. The stage of acceptance was finally in your sight.

You and Aizawa resumed your waltz around the kitchen, but this time, things were much different. It felt like the day Aizawa first brought Willow home. You immediately took on the role of the parent, watching your new friend’s every move to make sure it didn’t hurt itself. Once Aizawa brought you a towel, you sat on the couch and began drying off the cat. You discovered during this that you had found an adorable little boy, proud and frisky from his recent adventure.

Aizawa set the food and water out, luring the tabby out of your lap and to the kitchen. He lapped everything greedily, only further confirming that this was indeed a stray. Walking over to your boyfriend, you stopped once you reached his side.

“I’m sorry,” you began, lacing your fingers with his.

“Oh, don’t be,” he replied, smoothly changing the position you both were in so he could snuggle your neck. “I should’ve taken off time from work and been there for you. It was wrong of me to think our lives would go back to normal.”

“But, still..”

“(y/n)...just let me hold you.”

You did what he asked. You let him wrap his arms around you as you both watched your new boy. Unspoken between the two of you was what was going to happen with your newfound cat: you were going to keep him. Of course, he would need to pay for his shots, a proper bath, and new amenities, but that was a thing for the future. Aizawa knew you would bring it up tomorrow morning, worrying about it profusely, and you knew Aizawa would tell you to stop worrying so much, peppering your face in kisses as a distraction.

Once the cat was finished eating, he walked over and began rubbing himself against Aizawa’s leg. Realizing he needed to be warmed up, you reached down and picked him up. He clearly enjoyed being showered in attention and didn’t pull away when you both began talking to him.

“What do you think?” Aizawa questioned.

You knew what he was talking about: his name. Despite only finding this cat outside of your doorstep 20 minutes ago, you both knew this was his new forever home. The name was an important part of claiming a pet, which you made sure to educate Aizawa about before naming Willow. This, however, wasn’t a tough decision like Willow’s name.

“I was thinking Thunder,” you replied softly, gazing into your lover’s eyes.

He hummed in response, alerting you that he liked that name. You purposely chose that name due to the circumstances you found him in, but you also had an ulterior motive. You eventually wanted to get another cat and name it Lightning. Why? Easy answer: why not?

Suddenly, your boyfriend let go of your waist. Turning around, you noticed he began walking off to the bedroom. It was only 7:30, but, of course, your lover was already exhausted. That was one of the qualities you loved about him, though. He could always fall asleep easily.

“You didn’t eat dinner,” you called after him.

“I know,” he replied in a low voice, “but wouldn’t you rather fall asleep with the man you love?”

His words made you blush, but he wasn’t wrong. With Thunder in your arms and dinner long forgotten, you made your way over to your bedroom. Upon entering, you saw your boyfriend was already laying down and waiting for you to join him. You placed Thunder on the bed and went to lay down next to your lover. He placed his arms around you, making you fell safe and secure before someone interrupted you both.

Thunder began slowly crawling up to lie in between you. Chuckling, Aizawa left a little bit of room between your bodies for your new baby to curl up between you both. It felt natural. It felt like home again. It was just you, your boyfriend, and your cat. Willow, you could tell, was smiling down from heaven. You knew she could be fully at peace now knowing you were happy.

“I love you so much,” you mumbled to your boyfriend, allowing your eyes to close.

“I love you, too, kitten,” Aizawa replied, drifting off to sleep and allowing your breaths to match one another.

This was home. This was family. This was perfection for the both of you. Now, Aizawa went to bed with a single question on his mind. It was quite simple but also heavy. When was he going to place that wonderful ring on your finger?

#bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha fic #bnha scenarios #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #mha imagines #mha aizawa #mha fic #mha scenarios #mha x reader #mha #shouta aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa #shouta aizawa headcanons #shoto aizawa #aizawa x reader #aizawa imagine #bnha aizawa

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perriewinklenerdie · 4 years

Text

Taking my heart by storm (Ethan x MC)

Open Heart, Ethan Ramsey x MC

A/N: Hi guys! How are you guys doing today? It’s da weekend, bby. I’m back with another Friday fic. The idea for this one came to me when I was driving my cats to the vet and the storm was going on. We can all thank Mother Nature and her breakdown for that one entirely :D Also, the real MVP Naveen makes an appearance in this, because PB is hiding him and that’s some serious bs right there.

Summary: Ethan and Claire share a kiss in the rain in the greenhouse after storm cuts the lights out.

Enjoy! <3

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Since noon, the clouds have been crowding the sky, prompting the storm that was coming. Ethan’s shift has just ended when the first sound of a thunder rolled through the walls of the hospital. It was a hectic day, a wave of flu bringing more people to the free clinic and slippery ice sending many people tumbling to the ground, sprains and broken limbs overpowering the cases doctors had to face.

Unsurprisingly, Ethan couldn’t wait to get home. Especially since he knew for a fact that tonight, he wouldn’t be alone. Claire has accepted his invitation earlier that day, smiling every time she saw him, vision of them going home together never too far away from her mind. That smile of hers was what he thought about fairly often, and for the past few weeks, he was admitting it both to himself and to Claire. And with each day that he opened up to her more, it became easier to let her in.

The last time he saw her was two hours ago, when they finished consulting for a patient of the team. Since then, they communicated through texts, much to her amusement, and he had no doubts that she would be teasing him about it, like she always did. And he always would tell her that she’s lucky he cared about her, or he wouldn’t let it slide this easily.

He grabbed his bag and closed the office behind him, taking his phone out to text her once again, asking where she was. Not a minute later, he knew where he was supposed to go, aiming his steps towards her. No nurse or doctor dared to stop him, one look at his tired form letting them know it’s best to steer clear.

The entrance to the garden was tucked away from the view, and not many people knew about its existence, not even people working there. For that reason, the hall leading up to it was empty, as was the garden itself. The bench in the middle of the room was occupied.

Claire was lying down, the tips of her hair brushing the ground. Both hands resting on her stomach, moving up and down with every breath she took. Her eyes were closed, face a picture of complete calmness, a stark contrast to the angry wind that shook the trees outside and smacked raindrops against the glass of the orangery.

Ethan placed his bag on the ground by the entrance, then leaned against the doorframe, watching her silently. It’s a very rare sight for him lately, to see her so blissfully relaxed and detached from the issues of the hospital. Of course, when they were alone, it was fairly easy for both of them to forget about their problems. At work, though, the fatigue and dread followed them like their own shadows, never too far behind.

With the next breath of his, she stirred slightly, her eyes fluttering open, feeling that she was being watched. She took a moment to let her eyes readjust to the brightness of the room, a small moan escaping her lips. Ethan reached for the switch, dimming the lights a bit to make it easier for her, giving her a clear sign that she wasn’t alone anymore. Her head turned towards him, the corners of her lips going up at the sight of him.

“Hi.” She muttered, her voice raspy and deep. Her body didn’t move, not even an inch, as he walked towards her slowly, keeping his eyes on her firmly.

“I thought you left, with how long ago I last saw you.” he mused, keeping a bit of distance between them, just in case someone was to walk in on them, however unlikely it was. Claire grinned, raising her hands above her head to stretch. Her words were strained when she spoke again.

“I have plans for the evening. Maybe even for the night if things work out.”

Despite them both being still in the hospital and having it hanging over their heads, Ethan couldn’t fight the smile nor the acceleration of his pulse at what she was alluding to. “I assure you that whoever invited you has similar things on his mind.”

Slowly, she sat up, her hair falling over her shoulders and framing her face and neck. With a slow and controlled move, she beckoned him closer, crooking her finger and looking at him with a sultry smile. It was dangerous, how fast he reacted accordingly to her wishes, without stopping for even a second to think about what they were doing. When he was close enough to hear her low whisper, she found his gaze with hers, her eyes darkening slightly.

“Similar things, huh? Are you sure?” she hooked her little finger with his thumb, then released it so she could slide her hand up his arm. Each time she touched him, a wave of heat ran to the very core of him. She traced the shapes on the skin on the inside of his elbow, all the while looking at him with the intensity that he’s seen countless of times before. “Why don’t you show me what you’re thinking about right now?”

He cupped the side of her face with his other hand, stroking her cheekbone softly, his mind giving up the fight with each move their fingers made. Getting down on his knees, he slid his palm down the side of her neck, squeezing her shoulder on his way, until, finally, he let it linger on her thigh. He opened his mouth to say something, but before any words could form, a harsh roar of a thunder interrupted him. Moments later, the lights flickered and then went out, drowning them in darkness.

“How long until the backup power modules begin working?” Claire muttered, as though the atmosphere dictated how loud they could be. Ethan listened to the hum of the rain before he answered.

“The power kicked back in immediately, so all the machinery is still working. As for the lights, though, it can be a few minutes.”

“How long?” she asked again, leaning towards him blindly, knowing only the general direction in which she should be heading. Lightning struck, bringing their sight back for a short moment, raindrops casting shadows on their faces, enhancing the lines of their features.

“Give or take, ten minutes. Why?”

“No reason.” She shrugged, pulling on his hand and bringing him flush against her, their lips brushing together. This close, she could almost see the hint of light, reflecting in his eyes, though she could have been imagining things. His hands found their place on her back, keeping them close together. He could argue that it was to keep them both safe, prevent possible injuries if one of them were to move and trip over something, but he knew damn well that his one and only purpose was to feel her warmth. To smell her perfume. To feel her arms wrap around him and keep him close.

With the next lightning, he focused on her lips. How the corners remained turned up, just as they were before the power went out. How the shape of them fit his too perfectly for their meeting to have been an accident. The pull towards her he felt was too strong for him to fight, and yet, for so long, he tried to resist it. Only to, in the end, dive into the storm that she was, slowly letting her consume him whole.

When the darkness came back, he pulled her into the kiss. It’s slow and light, unlike the quick kiss she gave him before she left his apartment that morning. Unlike the ravenous kisses they attacked each other with the night before, right after the door to his home closed behind them. There’s no heat, no desire other than that to keep the other close and not let go. There’s no doubt, either, just pure certainty, warmth and care, evident in the way his arms held her tightly and in the way her grip on his shoulders was secure.

Water continuously fell from the sky, drumming against the glass ceiling of the greenhouse, almost entirely masking the quiet sounds they were making. Claire wouldn’t have been able to notice how he hummed against her lips if it wasn’t for the gentle vibrations it was causing, teasing her nerve endings.

Ethan leaned away eventually, using a glimpse of light to look at her again. His heart hammered in his chest, his cheeks must have been flushed and he was sure that he looked positively infatuated. Staring at her in the dark, he could see with his memories how she glanced at him in moments like these; flickers of happiness in her eyes and a soft smile lighting up her face, brighter than any source of light ever could.

“That’s as close to the kiss in the rain as we’ll ever get.” Claire giggled quietly, moving her hand to stroke his cheek with the back of her fingers. He welcomed the sensation, leaning into her touch. She couldn’t possibly see his teasing smirk, but he had a feeling she knew it was there.

“Who knew such an idiotic idea could be so pleasant.” He wondered out loud, waiting for a reaction of hers. And he got just that. She scoffed, punching his arm playfully before falling into his embrace again with a sigh as the storm raged outside.

----------

Naveen slowly navigated the long halls of his hospital, flashlight in hand, searching for people caught by the darkness. So far, he managed to guide three lost patients that went on a walk and couldn’t find their way back when the power went out, and that prompted him to go on.

Knowing that not many of his colleagues were even aware of the existence of the garden, he decided to go there himself. How was it possible that people worked there for years but not know about all the locations in their workplace was beyond him, but he didn’t have time to wonder about it in that moment.

He called out loudly as he walked, listening in for any signs of voices, but there was no answer. No sound other than the angry howls of the storm outside. His flashlight shone rays of brightness onto the walls and the floor, and once he reached the greenhouse, it pierced through the glass and reflected in the leaves of many plants that grew there.

Upon entering the room, he called out again, moving the flashlight around slowly. “Hello? Is anyone here- oh.”

Naveen stopped abruptly, taking in the sight in front of him. He expected a lot of things, and a lot of people, but no matter how many times he blinked, the picture didn’t disappear. It was very much real.

Ethan sat up faster than he thought he could at the sound of his mentor’s voice. Some time has passed since the lights have gone out, and when kisses transitioned into a tight embrace, he pulled her onto the ground, both of them lying down so they could watch the sky as the clouds went by, lit up by lightning strikes from time to time. It almost felt like it could have been their first date, but neither of mentioned it.

When Naveen found them, Ethan’s hand was running up and down Claire’s arm, their bodies pressed close as the low hum of the rain almost lulled them both to sleep. Upon interruption, Ethan, and shortly after Claire, sat up, both immediately awake and aware of how busted they were.

They stared at each other for a long while, unsure what were the words that were supposed to be said. Eventually, Naveen broke out of the trance, nodding his head slowly in acknowledgement. In the darkness of the garden he couldn’t be sure, but he was pretty much certain that Ethan’s cheeks were taking on a bit of a darker color. It was Claire that confirmed it for him when she eventually cut the silence.

“Go easy on him with the teasing.”

Ethan’s head turned towards her in record time, his face spelling out mock betrayal, which made her laugh even more than she already was. She patted his shoulder with her extended hand, muttering ‘there, there’, a joke that he was clearly not amused by. Naveen watched them with a growing grin.

“You two are adorable.” His words caused the pair to look at him with surprise in their eyes. He walked towards them, extending his hand in Claire’s direction to help her up. She accepted it, standing up and pulling Ethan right along with her. “The lights are going to be gone for at least another hour, so you two should go home.”

Ethan’s annoyance was crystal clear in the way he spoke. “I can literally hear you smiling, Naveen, what’s got you so amused?”

“I’m just wondering, how did you wear him down, Claire? I’ve spent years trying to get him to go fishing with me and he wouldn’t budge.”

She laughed, squeezing Ethan’s arm before she walked towards the exit with Naveen by her side, telling him her strategy as though it was a well-kept secret. Ethan stayed in the garden for a moment longer, watching their silhouettes go with an easy smile before he followed them back towards the hospital.

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#open heart #ethan ramsey #choices #my writing

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wifeofkimtaehyungofbts · 3 years

Text

Chapter 6

Pairing: Jimin x Y/N

Synopsis: How do you help someone with their emotions if you don’t feel emotions? When your brother’s best friend dies in a tragic car accident and he spirals downwards in depression, you devote yourself to helping him out of his misery. But when his other best friend becomes suicidal following the loss, it isn’t merely about helping them. It’s about saving them.

Word count: 1400+

Previous / Next

*****

Hard.

The only word that can explain my situation.

Sleeping is hard.

Pretending to be okay is hard.

Breathing is hard.

Staying alive is very hard.

Every passing morning I wake up, I wish I didn’t. Waking up to an eerily quiet apartment, walking down the over crowded streets feeling alone and pulling through the day with all the energy I have is mentally and physically exhausting.

My therapist was kind, too kind for my liking. A young, dynamic woman interested in helping those who came to her. She suggested a lot of changes to my lifestyle that would help me move on.

I appreciate her efforts, but she did not see the bigger problem. It wasn’t that I was unable to move on, I refused to move on.

I was afraid of getting comfortable in a world without him.

The idea of waking up one morning, brewing myself bitter coffee that he hated, hustling through work and going for a walk in the park on a Tuesday evening with a smile on my face pretending like I’m alive and kicking made me sick. The day he died, I did too. The only difference between my dead best friend and I is that his body died too, whereas mine survived.

It survived when I tried to cut myself open, the pain on my skin barely felt against the pain in my head.

Watching the thick blood gushing out through the wounds I’ve inflicted on myself using the shiny kitchen knife was less horrifying than watching his wooden casket lowered to the ground.

My body survived the multiple drug intake that would’ve killed anyone else. Feeling my face hit the cold bathroom floor before the lights in my head went out as I blacked out was less scary than going to bed that night knowing every tomorrow then onwards would be a day away from our last day together.

I don’t know how long I was unconscious on the floor as the drugs attempted to slowly took my life before Jungkook found me in my apartment. I don’t even know how the guy let himself in. He probably used the spare key Taehyung let him borrow.

Taehyung.

The name pierces my chest. My mouth feels dry, my cheeks sunken in. If pain was a taste, it would be all-too-familiar for my hallucinating tongue.

I hate him for leaving us. But I hate myself for putting him in a situation where we lost him. I hate myself for being the first one to wake up in the toppled car that day. I hate myself for looking over at him and helplessly watching him draw his last breath. I hate myself for crying while my best friends were bleeding to death in the burning car.

By a miracle Jungkook and I survived. Neither of us sustained any injuries to the head, fortunately. Jungkook fractured his left arm and broke a few ribs. I broke a few ribs and fractured my right leg. With the help of a cast and rest, we both recovered in 3 weeks.

The doctors kept telling us we were lucky ones, to heal from such wounds in such a short period of time. They told us we were lucky enough to have survived such a crash.

The car had collided with an oncoming truck carrying wood and rolled 18 meters before coming to a stop.

It had been crushed from the side he was seated on. Paramedics said the car door had to be removed from his body. His insides were like water, his guts shapeless.

The blunt force of metal crashing against him had cracked his skull, causing internal bleeding. Doctors said he died a very painful death and I asked them why.

Why did Taehyung suffer that way? Why did Taehyung go through so much of pain?

The guy who plays with children on the street, the guy who helps the blind man cross the street to the bakery around the block every weekend, the guy who rescues stray cats and dogs and takes them to the vet, spending on their treatment with his own pocket money before taking them to adoption centres. The guy with the golden heart.

Why him?

The world is full of shitty people; murderers, rapists, abusers. They roam the face of the planet with blood on their hands and sin in her souls and Taehyung was taken away painfully?

I open my eyes to wake up from the thinking, to end the painful conversation I always have with myself.

Opening my eyes slowly, I take in the silent room. A slit of sunlight tears through the dark, not enough to illuminate the room.

It was very kind of Jungkook to take me in and as much as I love the guy, I wouldn’t say I am entirely comfortable sharing his space.

I want to be alone, to remember and regret.

The whole accident... I didn’t have enough time to process it with the funeral happening too soon and my mind poisoning me with guilt.

I keep telling myself there was absolutely nothing I could’ve done to save him, he died before help arrived. Had he survived by any miracle, he would live a miserable life; a half dead vegetable rotting away on bed till his body gets too old to live. We all know Taehyung would’ve hated that.

But thinking of all the things we could’ve done differently, like other ways we could’ve spent that day instead of drunk driving, sends a cold jab through my windpipe, not allowing me to breathe setting my lungs on fire.

I get out of bed, pushing away the dark sheets that cannot engulf me in enough warmth. I trace my fingers along the wall looking for the light switch.

Finding it I switch it on.

Blinding white light fills the room, my eyes squinting against the amount of sudden light.

It all happens too quick.

The light.

The dull silence of the room.

It all takes me back to the hospital room.

Bright white light. Too bright for me to fully open my eyes and take in the people silently rushing around me.

The only sound the beeping of my heart monitor.

My ears pick up inaudible voices. Someone with a deep voice. Someone with a raspy voice. A female voice.

“He was dead when they got there”

“..... they had to remove parts of the car from him. The entire door was jammed into his side”

A few gasps echo in the room.

“...... internal bleeding [inaudible] painful last moments”

More murmuring.

“He’s stable I just checked”

He, who?

Dead?

Stable?

Breathing was hard. I need air.

The beeping got louder, scarier.

Words were thrown across the room.

“Patient is crashing!”

“Get the doctor!”

“Oh my God his vitals are dropping”

Taehyung.

Jungkook.

Where are they?

I was screaming but no one seemed to hear.

The insides of my head were throbbing, my lungs begging for air and fear wetting my eyes.

I need them.

My friends.

Someone please tell them I’m calling for them.

I’m scared.

I feel heavy and light at the same time. I can taste bile in my mouth. I have a nasty gut feeling.

Why are people panicking around me?

I should be the one panicking! I’m all alone chained onto a bed that’s not mine with tubes inserted through multiple cuts in my body and I don’t see any of my friends next to me!

“Charge at 200 volts!”

“Push the tray this way!”

“Ask Henry to immediately get his ass in here!”

Static. The sound of a walkie talkie being turned on.

“Henry you are required in the theatre. It’s an emergency!”

Shut up shut up shut up somebody please make them shut up!

The voices make my ears bleed. My brain hurts trying to process what they are shouting to each other.

Taehyung! I scream.

Where’s my voice?

Why did no sound come out?

The light is too bright. I can’t open my eyes.

Jungkook! Taehyung!

Where are you?!

“Jimin hyung!”

Jungkook?

“Jimin hyung look at me!”

Why are you shouting Jungkook?

I feel someone roughly grabbing my arms. Pulling me down. Sitting me down on the wooden floor. My bottom shivers when it comes in contact with the cold floor.

“Hyung! Look at me”

Why do you sound so desperate Jungkook?

Where are the doctors and nurses who were here just a minute ago?

“Hyung, hyung! Just look at me”

Jungkook’s weak cries turn my face towards him. I blink as I take in his broken expression.

Why does Jungkook look so sad?

I look around the room.

I don’t see the hospital bed. Where is my heart monitor?

A girl with a horrified expression pasted on her pretty face looms over me.

I look at my friend confusingly.

“Jungkook, where’s Taehyung?”

I watched as a light go out in Jungkook’s eyes.

Where is Taehyung?

#bangtan sonyeondan #bts #bts fan fic #bts fan fiction #bts fanfiction #BTS jimin #park jimin #park jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #park jimin x reader #park jimin x y/n #jeon jungkook #BTS jungkook #bts jungkook fanfic #Steadfast #BTS v #kim taehyung #bts taehyung #taehyung fan fiction

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fruitquake · 4 years

Text

The Feeling Is Mutual

Remus considered turning around and taking the stairs as soon as he saw Sirius Black. But he knew from experience that getting down those stairs on crutches was even harder than it looked, and he really didn’t have time to end up in the hospital with another broken limb.

No, he could survive the elevator ride with Black. It was only a few floors, after all.

It wasn’t that he hated Black. He just strongly disliked him and the sight of his face made Remus’ blood boil. Okay, maybe he did kind of hate him, but he knew the feeling was mutual.

He avoided making eye contact as he entered the elevator, holding both crutches in one hand to press the button with his free one.

“Good afternoon, Lupin.” Sirius’ voice, however charming, was as annoying as ever.

“It’s 8 am,” Remus replied coldly, not looking anywhere near Black, though he didn’t have to to know that Black was looking directly at him, a smirk on his stupid face as he leaned seductively against one wall of the elevator. What a fucking prick.

The doors of the elevator finally closed and it began its descent towards the ground floor. Only for less than a minute, though, before coming to a halt with a series of concerning mechanical sounds.

“What the fuck?” Remus tried pressing on the button again and when that didn’t make the elevator move, he just tried pressing every single button, still to no avail. “It’s stuck or something,” he muttered.

“Let me try,” Black said, pushing past him and beginning to press every button, just as Remus had just done.

He glared at Black. “That doesn’t work. Something must be wrong with the elevator. I’ll call someone who can fix it-”

Oh, nevermind. No cell phone service. Remus swore loudly.

Black just laughed. “Looks like we’re stuck here together, then,” he said.

No. No no no. This could not be happening. “Fuck,” Remus swore, leaning against the elevator’s wall and letting himself slide down onto the floor. Not only had he woken up late so he’d had to skip his morning coffee to leave in time, but now he was stuck in a elevator with his literal mortal enemy. If Black spoke to him, he was going to hit him with one of his crutches.

“So how’s your cat?” Black asked, sitting down at the opposite side of the elevator.

Fucking hell. Remus’ crutches were perched against the wall, just out of his reach. Another time, then.

“I’m not talking to you,” he replied.

Black sighed. “Suit yourself,” he said. “I just thought since we’re gonna be stuck here for a while, we may as well try to put our differences aside so we don’t go mad.”

“I’ll go mad if you say another word to me,” Remus said coldly.

He looked down at his own hands, fiddling with a loose thread on his sleeve. It seemed that Black was actually leaving him alone, which should gladden Remus, but now the elevator was so… quiet. He looked up, only to find Black looking right at him, head tilted slightly to the side like a curious dog.

“Oi, stop staring at me, you creep!” Remus felt his cheeks heat up.

“I wasn’t staring at you!” Black said, putting his arms up in defence. “Believe it or not, Lupin, but you actually are slightly more interesting than these grey, empty walls.” He looked up, gaze wandering over said walls. “They should really put a painting or something up in here.”

Remus crossed his arms and looked away from Black. While he really didn’t want to give Black the satisfaction of being right, he knew that was the case: they would go mad if they had to sit in silence for who knew how long.

“My cat is doing good,” he said, finally answering Black’s question. “How’s Snuffles?” Snuffles was Black’s stupid dog, who had more than once ruined Remus’ pants by peeing on him.

Black had seemed excited to get an answer out of Remus, but quite suddenly, his expression changed to one Remus had never seen on him before… sadness, concern? He couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“Snuffles is sick,” Black answered, looking down at his hands. “I took him to the vet a few days ago, but there’s nothing they can do... “

“Shit,” Remus said. “I’m sorry, that must be horrible.”

Black let out a shaky laugh, probably to not cry. “I’ve had him since i was 17,” he said. “Got him when I moved out, and the thought of him not being here is… yeah, it’s horrible.”

Remus couldn’t explain why Black’s sadness was so painful to watch. He wanted to hug him, to comfort him… but he’d want to do that to anyone, even if it was someone he hated. This had nothing to do with Black specifically.

“You moved out at 17?” he asked, half out of curiosity, half to kind of change the topic.

Black nodded. “Got kicked out at 16, lived with my friend and his parents for a year, but…” He shrugged. “I didn’t want to be an inconvenience to them so I got a job and bought a tiny, shitty flat. I remember it was overrun by rats and cockroaches, and the water was always cold… This place is definitely an upgrade, even if my neighbor is a twat.”

Remus got the feeling Black had only insulted him to keep a bit of dignity, surprised at how much he’d shared with him.

“Why’d you get kicked out?” he asked, before realizing what a personal question that was. He hurried to add, “you don’t have to answer that.”

Black shrugged. “Technically, I ran away,” he said. “But you could say I was forced to…”

It didn’t seem like he was going to go into further detail about it, so Remus hurried to change the topic. “It’s weird we know so little about each other, isn’t it?” he asked. “Considering we’ve been neighbors for, what, 3 years?”

“To be fair-” Black said, looking at him with his piecing grey eyes. “You’ve never seemed very keen on getting to know me.”

Oh. Remus tried to stop himself, but before he could, the words just flew off his tongue: “I want to get to know you now.”

Black seemed taken aback by this. “Really?” he said. “I thought you hated me.”

“Yeah, I thought so too,” Remus mumbled. “I guess I just… I dunno, it’s been a weird day.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Black muttered.

Before either of them could say anything else, Black’s phone buzzed. His eyes lit up as he fished it out of his pocket. “Oh,” he said. “My friend is calling me. Finally I have a fucking signal.” He answered the call: “Hey, James. Yeah, I know I’m late. I’m kind of stuck in an elevator... Yeah, if you could help get a hold of the maintenance guy? I don’t have his number, no, but he’s usually around. How far are you from my place? Oh, excellent. Thanks, mate.”

He hung up and put down the phone. “Looks like we’re getting out of here!” he said. “My friend will be here in 5 minutes or so.”

Remus knew he was supposed to feel relieved. He would finally be free, and even without being too late for work but… For some reason the most prominent feeling was disappointment. It felt like a special bond had been formed between him and Black in the time they’d spent in the elevator and what if, once they got out and continued their normal lives, that would disappear? How could he tell Black that he didn’t want to go back to the way things had been?

“Uhm…”

“Yeah?” Black said.

Remus hesitated, heart beating just a little faster than usual. “It’s just, uhh… can you help me up?” He let out a nervous laugh, gesturing to his broken leg.

“Oh, of course.” Black got up and walked the few steps over to Remus, offering his hand to help him up.

Their hands touching sent a warm tingly feeling through Remus’ body, something he couldn’t quite explain. He let Black help him up and… oh.

Their faces were so close he could feel Black’s minty breath on his face and see every tiny detail of his eyes - from up close they had a beautiful blue tint that made them look softer, deeper…. Remus didn’t know who initiated it, but suddenly they were kissing.

He could feel the tension being released as he kissed Black, deeply, with passion. He hadn’t realized how much he had wanted this.

They were both startled as the elevator, with a clanking metallic sound, started moving again. Confused, they broke apart, staring from the elevator doors to each other. Black let out a breathless laugh, running a hand through his ruffled hair. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

Remus’ eyes widened. “Really?” he asked.

Black nodded and looked like he was about to say something more but before he had the chance to, the elevator stopped again. For one nerve-racking moment, Remus thought the elevator had stopped working again but then the doors slid open and they were greeted by the maintenance guy and Black’s friend.

Black stepped out of the elevator to his friend, who grinned at him. “What dirty shenanigans did you two get up to while trapped in there together?” he asked Black, who laughed and shook his head.

“Oh, you don’t want to know,” he said in a teasing voice.

Remus grabbed his crutches and quickly exited the elevator before the doors closed again. He looked at his phone. One missed call from Lily, his friend and coworker. She was probably pissed off at being left alone on their shift. Remus only hoped she would forgive him when she found out why he was so late…

“Ready to go?” he heard Black’s friend ask.

“In a moment,” Black said. “There’s something I need to do. Just wait in the car?”

His friend nodded and walked to the stairs and Black turned to Remus. “Hey, uh,” he said to grab his attention.

“Yeah?” Remus said.

Black seemed careful to look anywhere but at him. “I know you hate me,” he said. “And I know that, er… it was just a kiss and it probably didn’t, y’know, mean anything, but…” He seemed nervous, unsure of himself, something Remus had never seen from him before.

“Well, I don’t know,” Black muttered. “This is stupid but do you think… would you want to get coffee sometime?”

Remus was taken aback by the question. “With you?” he asked.

Black bit his lip, carefully glancing at him. “I understand if you don’t want to,” he assured him. “We can just forget all of this ever happened and-”

“No,” Remus cut him off. “No, coffee sounds great.”

Black’s face lit up in a smile and Remus felt his heart miss a beat. “Great,” he said. “That’s, uh… That’s great.”

“Yeah,” Remus said, smiling as well. “Anyway, I really have to go. I’m late for work.”

Black quickly regained his composure. “Of course!” he said. “Yeah, I, uh… James is waiting for me, so I better go too.”

Remus nodded. As he watched Black turn around and leave, he couldn’t help but wish he’d said something more, like “I don’t think i hate you as much as I thought” or “To me, it wasn’t just a kiss”, but before he could gather the courage to do so, Black was already out of sight. There’s plenty of time, he told himself.

Perhaps he could tell him later, over a cup of coffee.

#guess who's back #well i never left but #i haven't written anything in uh #a while #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfic #wolfstar fanfiction #muggle au #enemies to lovers #fanifc #fanfiction #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #lily evans #marauders

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simsucculent · 4 years

Photo

(this is supposedly one of the few photos that were taken successfully before girls were interrupted)

So... here we have...

Alice Olsen for @bakersimmer‘s Bachelor Challenge

27 years old girl from Brindleton Bay.

Traits: Dog Lover / Ambitious / Unflirty

Aspiration: Soulmate

Skills: Veterinarian (7) / Logic (5) / Cooking (4) / Wellness (3) / Pet training (3) / Charisma (3)

Alice shares an apartment in Brindleton Bay with her best friend Abigail and works at the vet clinic. She has a mother who lives not far in the country. Due to health problems, she doesn't work, so Alice has to provide for them both.

As a result, Alice often works overtime (and maaybe she's also a little frugal). Thankfully, she loves working with animals, so she doesn't mind it much.

That leaves her little time for pursuing relationships, but, as her friend suspects, overworking's not the main problem here. Alice has some admirers both among her colleagues and her clients, but she's very reluctant to accept other people's feelings. The moment she suspects someone hits on her, she tries her best to avoid that person. Also public displays of affection make her very uncomfortable.

Abigail hopes that Martin can pull Alice out of her shell while Alice just wants Abigail to leave her alone, since she hasn't stopped nagging her ever since she saw that Bachelor advertising.

(But secretly Alice hopes to find her true love too, that's why she, usually quite stubborn and independent, gave in in the end. In fact, she won't ever openly admit it, but she'd love to have some exciting romantic adventure – that would be a nice change from her dull life that mostly consists of work and home chores, she thinks. That's why she promised Abigail she'll try to behave less like an Ice Queen with Martin.

Let's hope she'll keep that promise.)

She loves long walks on the beach and watching old movies, and she would love nothing more than to live in her own house near an ocean with a bunch of dogs and maybe with her soulmate.

#lets join the bachelor challenge with an unflirty sim nothing's wrong with that right 🤡#the sims 4 #sims 4 #ts4 #s4 #MartinsBC #my head is killing me but i'm so happy i did it

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what-if-rpg · 2 years

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Welcome to the family, BROOKE! Your application to BROOKLYN STERLING (FC: Emily Osment) was accepted. We’re really happy to give you your second character! Make sure to read the beginners checklist, and remember, have fun! We can’t wait to roleplay with you! Have fun!

IN CHARACTER

CHARACTER NAME: Brooklyn Elise Sterling CHARACTER AGE & DATE OF BIRTH: 28/February 5 OCCUPATION: Vet Nurse at Central Pet Clinic in NYC, NY FACE CLAIM: Emily Osment HOMETOWN & CITY WHERE LIVES NOW: Born in Columbus, OH, now lives in New York City, New York SEXUAL ORIENTATION & GENDER: Pansexual, CIS Female RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single POSITIVE TRAITS: Upbeat, Positive, Compassionate NEGATIVE TRAITS: People-Pleasing, Reserved, Anxious CHARACTER QUOTE/LYRIC: "Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel like you're less than fucking perfect." -Perfect by Pink ANYTHING ELSE?: N/A

HEADCANONS

Growing up a Sterling always afforded Brooklyn more opportunities than many others may have had. Her family name and her parents' visible positions within society meant that she and her brother were expected and required to maintain certain attitudes and images during their time in the public. She was always taught to be presentable, to be humble, to be graceful, and to be collected.

Brooklyn always did well in school growing up, bringing home straight A's. She has always had a love for learning, a thirst for knowledge, and a drive to do well in order to make her parents proud, and to set herself up for success. Since a young age, she has always had a fascination with animals as well, and knew from childhood that she wanted to work somewhere in Veterinary Medicine.

Though her family was always very loving, the expectations they placed upon Brooklyn often left her feeling anxious and stressed. She does know how to deal with stress and pressure well, though in private she often feels overwhelmed and anxious. She worries about under-performing, as well as about things not being up to her own standards of perfection.

Brooklyn moved to NYC after graduation from college at 20, and has lived there ever since. She shares a two-bedroom apartment with a roommate, who is a teacher. She has one dog of her own, a chihuahua/terrier mix named Barkley.

CONNECTIONS

PARENTS: Erin and Gordon Sterling met during their time in law school together, both attending Harvard as legacy students. They fell in love quickly, and were married less than a year after beginning to date. Though some thought their relationship to have moved too quickly, the two knew they were absolutely in love, and saw no point in waiting. After three years of marriage, Erin gave birth to Jeff, and four years later she gave birth to Brooklyn. Though Erin stayed home with her children until Brooklyn was four, she eventually returned to her position as one of Ohio's best Defense Attorneys. The Sterlings had returned to Ohio (where Gordon was from) only a year after Jeff had been born, after he decided he wanted to get into politics. After five years back in the state, Gordon ran for Senator and won. The Sterling family was always loving, caring, and supportive, with their children being given anything Erin and Gordon could give them in order to ensure their success. SIBLINGS/OTHER IMPORTANT FAMILY: Jeff Sterling is Brooklyn's older brother, she is four years younger than him. The two have always been very close, with Jeff being very protective of his little sister. Brooklynn looks up to Jeff a lot, and views him as being the best big brother she ever could have asked for. During her teenage and young adult years, when Brooklyn was secretly experimenting with things and testing her boundaries, Jeff protected and supported her on more than one occasion. They are close, and Jeff is her best friend and secret keeper. BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: None currently. She was in a 3-year-long 'relationship' with a Veterinarian who worked at the clinic, but unbeknownst to Brooklyn, he was married. When his wife found out about the affair, he quit his job and she hasn't seen or heard from him since. CLOSE FRIEND: Julie Price is the name of Brooklyn's best friend, she is another Vet Nurse she has worked with for several years and has become very, very, very close to. OTHER: N/A

#Brooklyn Sterling #Emily Osment #RP #RPG #Glee RP #Glee RPG #Accepted

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selfmadesuperhero · 4 years

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i’m very much not okay

and i’ll probably take very long for me to explain why

i don’t know how to write this. i don’t know where to even start. i’m here because i just don’t have anywhere else to go. i can’t afford therapy. i no longer have any close friends other than Mabu (gf).

it’s getting pretty bad inside my head

i know most people’s lives are hell this year and i’m not special. i know that. to me, this year is feeling like the last nail in my coffin because 2019 had already chewed me up and spit me out.

i kept my last job for eight years. after my first year there, another developer came in, and we became friends. we worked side by side less than 4 feet apart for six years. our hours were flexible but we always agreed upon our schedule just so work would be more bearable, because we both hated it and often had to team up against our boss’ downright abuse. it was a very small company (at its biggest we were only 7 employees). we were also going to graduate at the same time from the same school (different majors), so we had a bit of a pact to leave our shitty boss once we’d graduated and start developing our own, way less shitty games.

at the start of 2019, he got an excellent job offer. i was thrilled for him and told him to of course get out of that hellhole we hated so much, we were only there because the pay was decent and the hours were flexible so we could get our degree, you know? it stung, but i was happy for him. on the last day i gave him a ride home (which is also something i did almost daily), he surprised me by hugging me and telling me i was like a brother to him and our plans weren’t going to change.

i believed him, and went back to work. he was soon replaced, obviously, by a junior developer because that’s how capitalism works. but suddenly, i no longer had someone to take a stand with me against my boss - there was no one left that i knew, everyone had resigned or been fired and i was the oldest employee. you’d think that’d earn me something, after eight years being dedicated to the same company, right?

(shortly after, my grandma passed, after years and years of agonizing in a wheelchair. we lived together)

fuck that

the first months were fine. i was being the senior developer and teaching the junior constantly, so my boss stayed out of my way. but see, this is where he started to get ansty. the more the junior stopped being a junior and was actually useful for something, the more that piece of gigantic ass just started thinking only about our salaries. i started in that company in 2012 making little more than 3 bucks/hour (remember i live in a third world country, but it was still specialized work), but by 2019, my salary was pretty much double of what the junior was making, and every penny extra i got during those years was a CONQUEST. i also worked six hours while he worked eight, so.

my boss basically started treating me even more like shit. he wasn’t nice to be around before, but he was bearable in small amounts. suddenly it was obvious to everyone that he was really fixating on me and my performance, and to me it was obvious he just wanted me to walk away too so he could replace me with TWO junior developers instead of just one measly charlie.

then, the nationals elections began. oh boy.

this probably wouldn’t read as news to anyone, but i’m a huge leftie, obviously. if you’re at all interested in politics, read about what socialist policies have done for uruguay during the past 15 years and how they turned us into AT LEAST a developing country, but i digress.

the people that sat in my office even shared my political views or whatever, but my boss is actually part of the conservative party and started actively campaigning. every time something involving politics happened, he made a point to come barging in the office and telling me and specifically me about it like i was personally running against his party. i actually recorded him once to have proof of him at least screaming at me, so i could check if i was crazy for thinking he had something against me. he frequently called me communist and just mocked my views. if you’re wondering, yes, this is illegal, but nothing happened.

then, two big things happened at once: we lost the election, and my recently adopted puppy was diagnosed with distemper. yes, it happened on the same that and it’s a day i’ll never forget.

my girlfriend and i had talked about getting a puppy once we moved in together. we’d named him like two years before it actually happened. we moved in together on may 2019 and on september i found the most precious boy for adoption on facebook and i was innocently all like “oh i’ve had to put rescue dogs for adoption before, let’s give back!”.

on october 27th, he had a seizure and the vet told us it was likely we’d have to put him down because only 20% of dogs survived, and it was even less for puppies.

when i went to work, i had to put up with my boss laughing and mocking me for winning the election “against me”. i guess i missed my running for anything?

this post is already too long for me to get into details about my dog’s disease. for months, every day we looked after him constantly. i read everything there was to BE READ about distemper online, spent thousands of pesos on medicine and treatments just in case he had a chance. good news is he did! this is the only positive note in this post.

it still wasn’t easy. he made us cry at least three times a day. we really thought he was dying, and we’d made the mistake of naming him 2 years before he was even born. we’d taken PERFECT care of him while he was unvaccinated, but the vet told us it was most likely he was already infected before he came home to us. i’d never seen such a small puppy so sick. he hallucinated constantly. if you don’t know, distemper is a neuro/digestive/skin/bone/HELL disease that’s really nasty. he’d have seizures almost daily and poop and pee himself. he stopped being able to control his body other than his two front legs, which he didn’t even have full control of. when he stopped being able to walk, he started crying constantly, it really tore the heart out of my chest

we called another vet, a dog physical therapist, so she’d tell us how we could help him. she told us to make him stand as long as possible, so every time he had a meal, i’d bend down with him and hold his hips - so he’d be able to stand, and slowly gain back some muscle mobility. every day we massaged his legs and flexed his joints, even his tiny toes, so he’d avoid atrophy. and we did it!! as i’m writing this, he’s one year old now, he’s no longer sick even if he’ll carry with him plenty of lifelong sequels, and he walks and runs and barks like the best of them ♥ i wasn’t going to plug anything but if you wanna see his progress, it’s on instagram @hamiltonthefighter

okay, i guess i ended up talking at length about his disease in the end, sorry. his walking again had a price to pay for me: my own back. for two or three months i was bent over this dog, you know? i still can’t get out of bed without help sometimes lol around december it got really bad but i just kept popping pills because joy oh joy, i was doing my thesis and i didn’t really have time or money for anything else. my job was basically paying for our rent, my university classes including the thesis course which was ridiculously expensive, and our dog had given me credit card debt out of desperation (we even had to buy those rubber things used for yoga to place on our floors so he’d have something to use his nails against instead of constantly slipping on the floor, we tried every medication that might help, we gave him CBD oils, all kinds of vitamins, constant vet visits where during the first two weeks he got like three different shots every day, etc)

i’m rambling, and i’m sorry, but i don’t really think anyone will read this. i started this post crying my eyes out and writing about my dog at least has been calming, because even if he’s a drooling mess now, he’s still the same he ever was and i love him very much and he’s sleeping soundly next to me and he’s finally close to fine.

remember the friend i talked about like half an hour ago? the one that worked with me for six years? nothing changed between us during the first months. for my thesis, i was going to develop a videogame with Mabu, but we were allowed to have external coding help because it was about GameDev, not the actual coding. i knew how to code, obviously, but Nico (the friend, guess we’ll give him a name) was also part of our project so he was gonna help us code so i had more time to focus on art and 3D modelling. the idea was kill two birds with one stone, make something we all liked, mabu and I were going to graduate with it and then we’d keep working on it during 2020 as we’d always always talked about.

by december, even if nico and i still talked regularly, i could tell he had just moved on with his life. he’d said he’d help us, but he was doing his own thesis, so i told him not to worry at that time, our final due date was in february. he asked us to forgive him during december and promised us he’d come back in january to DEVOTE himself to the project. i started coding the project besides working on the art and i was thankfully able to meet all the deadlines, so it was really fine, of course i understood where he was coming from.

then, on january 7th, Mabu’s grandma passed away. she was scheduled for a heart surgery that supposedly only had 1% risk, and she passed on the table because of a doctor’s mistake. the surgery was here in the capital, but Mabu’s family lives five hours away. she comes from a very big, very loving family, and her grandma (being the mother of five children) was very much the center of it. i also loved her. she’d replaced my grandma the second she passed and every time i saw her she hugged me like i was a lost grandson.

when my girlfriend called me during her surgery, i immediately left work because i just knew she would be crying if things were okay. this was a nightmare come alive for a family of 20+ people, and most of them were 5 hours away from their own house. my mother in law was (and still is) devastated by the lost of her mother because she was the one to encourage the surgery and she still thinks she killed her. i drove my her, my girlfriend, her sister and her sister’s boyfriend on my mother’s in law van for five hours while they all cried or slept and i had to really, really pinch myself because i was EXHAUSTED but what else could i do?

logically i missed work the next day. LOGICALLY. i had the service to attend and i was 5 hours away from the office and i didn’t even have my own car with me. i told my boss to discount the day, since i wasn’t entitled to the mourning day by law because it wasn’t my grandma. he didn’t even reply - he almost never talked to me by this point unless it was to berate me for something. i went back to work the day after the service.

now, remember we were doing our thesis and it was due in february? it really wasn’t great timing for anyone to die, but i was trusting Nico’s promise that he’d have more free time and he’d make up for not helping us code sooner. i told him the news about Mabu’s grandma, and then basically had to tell him to say something to her for her loss because he was supposed to be her friend, what the fuck, why aren’t you at least sending her a text.

let’s just say, january wasn’t a great month for Mabu and myself. two weeks after the passing, we still hadn’t had news from Nico. Mabu didn’t even have time to properly mourn because we had to turn our thesis in like, little over a month. i wrote to nico just downright ASKING if he was gonna be able to help us or WHAT, to which he said to me...

he’d never promised anything because he was really busy with his own stuff and he didn’t want to bring it up sooner because he knew Mabu was mourning and things were hard for us at the moment?

like that’s great pal, thanks for telling me at the last POSSIBLE second you were just dropping out altogether, what the actual fuck? it still baffles me that someone can be so thick headed, but he kept saying he had made no promises and both Mabu and I knew that was a lie and i honestly just couldn’t deal with someone so selfish he couldn’t at least give a heads up sooner

the icing on the cake during the beginning of this year is someone i haven’t even mentined: MY PIECE OF SHIT BROTHER. talking about him may deserve another post, because this is already so long and convoluted and i haven’t even talked about his involvement in my misery during 2019-2020. i’ll try to make the story short if anyone’s still reading this far:

a lot of years ago, our maternal grandmother moved to uruguay from russia and bought a tiny shitty house here next to my mother’s. my mother still hasn’t talked to me since 2013 because i’m trans, but that’s neither here nor there. i tried to keep in touch with my brother (we don’t share dads so he was no relation with my side of the family), and around 2017 i finally succeeded in making friends with him. or so i thought, clearly.

that grandmother passed... sometime. i don’t really know because they cut me off. she didn’t speak to me either, she was literally a crazy old nasty woman and i didn’t even care when i heard she’d died, to be honest. she was such a nasty woman, she’d put her tiny shitty house to my and my brother’s name just to keep her own daughter out of the inheritance when she bought it.

that also meant i was inheriting something for the first time ever, even if it was shitty. BUT my brother had his own fake grandma (the woman who looked after him his whole life instead of our mother) who was very old and frail and asked me if he could house her there. i said yes because again, i didn’t give a shit about the inheritance or the house or anything regarding my mother’s side of the family (other than him obviously), so for years this woman occupied the house. my brother basically took all existing furniture and appliances because he was moving in with a girlfriend and i even loaded up my shitty car with his stuff. all i wanted to inherit was the couch set, which had come all the way from russia and everyone had promised me since i was a wee lad, but he started whining about his fake-grandma not having a living room set and nowhere to sit and i didn’t even live by myself yet so i let them have the fucking couches, too.

oh boy this is already too long but now i’m too lazy to make a separate post

anyway, sometime during 2019, the woman moved out to an old folks home because she could no longer take care of herself. i immediately asked about the couch set with hope in my heart that it could finally be mine, but my brother told me our mother didn’t want me to have it.

he wanted to rent the house to make a profit, which sounded good to me because of that dog related credit card debt i talked about. and here’s where you might think i’m not that there in the head, but all my life i didn’t want anything to do with that house until my mother was in the ground - not out of hate but because i thought it was a shitty thing her own mother had done to her, and the inheritance should have been hers. she doesn’t have a degree or a stable job because she’s a russian translator so hey, whatever, they needed it more than i did. but then my brother starting getting ideas about improving the house so we’d make more money, and how we should do it together, and... i think i might have mentioned already why i didn’t exactly have time to redo a house? i was doing my thesis? about to graduate? my boss was constantly on my case? my dog was about to die?

i helped as much as i could at first, but then december came, and then january, and my brother just kept nagging me about the house like i was purposefuly sitting on my ass doing nothing, because oh every day it’s not rented it’s money lost. no amount of explaining how stretched thin i was seemed to suffice, not even when mabu’s grandma died and nico left us hanging with the thesis and i had less than a month left to code the whole project by myself while ALSO taking care of the art.

by the end of january, i was so stressed, i called a doctor after a panic attack. he gave me a weeks rest because of my back, because i wasn’t even able to get up without help at that time. it wasn’t much of a rest because i still used that time to sit at the computer and code 15 hours a day at LEAST, but hey.

it was the first time in 8 years i’d taken medical leave of ANY kind. i didn’t even get medical leave when i got my chest surgery. it happened on a friday and i was back to work the next monday. i’d never skipped more than 2 days of work at best when i had a bad case of the flu or something, but that was it.

when i went back to work, my boss immediatelly called me to his office. he started berating me about my performance again, bringing graphs comparing the amount of lines of code i’d written next to my coworkers. i didn’t mention this, but the graphic designer had also quit during 2019, so i was also covering that workload and no, that didn’t exactly translate to lines of code. i also had to spend HOURS every day tutoring the junior because he was too much of a cheap shit (didn’t use those words) to hire an experienced developer. i’d even WORKED AS A GRAPHIC DESIGNER FOR MEDIA CONTENT FOR HIS POLITICAL CAREER, EVEN IF IT WAS AGAINST MY BELIEFS AND NOT AT ALL RELATED TO MY JOB. he denied everything. EVERYTHING. he stuck to the narrative that i was just lazy and the proof was i’d just taken AN ENTIRE WEEK because “my back just hurt a little” and i had the audacity to skip work for someone else’s grandmother dying

i’m not exaggerating, i swear to anyone who might be reading this. that day was brutal and i’m still not over it half a year later, i don’t care if that makes me sound like a wuss. i worked eight years of my life in this fucking place.

this argument lasted for hours, but i kept my head down because i couldn’t afford to lose the job, specially not then. i even apologized for any loss in performance and tried to explain my point of view and what i was going through (which i’d already done to another superior weeks ago anyway). but just when i thought i’d MAYBE be able to keep my head above water, he told me he was denying my the request i’d made to take two weeks of holiday days before the thesis final due date.

i had already explained everything to him. everything, even nico dropping the team and my having to do everything by myself. i broke down and i told him he was forcing me to leave my job, i’d just have been certified by a doctor and i was asking for leave for SCHOOL (all things that are protected by law here), but he just kept repeating i could either walk away from my job or show up during those two weeks. he just wanted me gone, but he couldn’t fire me right away without having to pay me THOUSANDS because of my seniority (by law). he knew what he was doing to me and he didn’t care about it. he didn’t even let me TOUCH MY COMPUTER, he told me he wasn’t the one pushing me away, that i was doing this to myself, and he’d ask for a lawyer to check my computer for any “inconsistencies in my activity”, even. i really have a hard time just thinking about that day and how utterly humilliating it was. i lost a lot of personal files, because i sat at that desk for eight years and of course i had personal files because sometimes i stayed after hours before going to class.

imagine for a second a sixty year old man, rich as shit, political candidate, standing in front of a computer, disconnecting the mouse and keyboard so i couldn’t touch it, yelling at me i was doing this to myself and i was losing my job because i had the audacity to ask for two weeks leave to finish my fucking school thesis.

and yeah, i lawyered up. i didn’t have actual money to AFFORD a lawyer, but mabu’s cousin’s girlfriend was a lawyer and lived one block away and i immediatelly told her everything there was to tell. she brought me to the firm she worked in and they guaranteed me i had a pretty strong case and i was at least gonna be able to walk away with something.

that put things in hold for a while because the “trial” or whatever wasn’t gonna be held until after the thesis, so i tried to forget about it. my boss even owed me my untaken paid vacation days, which i told the lawyers because i was pretty sure he’d just forgot, but i wanted to know if it made a better case against him. they agreed, and i left it at that.

but you know who was still making my life miserable even when february began and i had less than three weeks to finish our project right? MY SWEET BABY BRO. he was constantly nagging me about having to do all the work himself, like I’D ASKED ANYTHING FROM THAT HOUSE TO BEGIN WITH. but see, the nastier he started getting, the more apparent his lies began to appear. he got nasty to the level where ON THE DAY I WAS TURNING THE PROJECT IN he kept calling me demanding MONEY for stuff he’d paid for the house without checking in with me. i was honestly baffled by his level of selfishness, i was already sleeping three hours a day tops and he expected me to what, paint walls? he was FIERCELY against having to wait for my project to be done even if it was two weeks away and he was asking and asking for money when i’d just told him i’d lost my job without a penny to show for it. nice guy, really.

suddenly, the following lies became clear:

my mother didn’t care if i took the couch set, he told me that because he was moving again and he was planning on taking the couches himself. (he ended up doing just so, too). he lied to me with the thing that hurts me most in the world: my mother hating me. he had even made a joke about it, because my mother had bought a new couch not long ago, and he didn’t “get” why she “didn’t want me to have anything”

years ago he’d told me he had refinanced a tax debt the house had, and i gave him money for it. now that the house was about to be put up for rent, he pretended that had never happened and suddenly started talking about how we needed to take care of that

he wasn’t planning on splitting the rent three ways between him, our mother and i. he was gonna keep two thirds, and i later even found out my own mother had given him the idea.

then poor mabu confessed to me once, two years ago, she’d wore a skirt one time visiting my brother and his then girlfriend, and he had told her nasty stuff to her year upon saying goodbye and she had never said anything because didn’t want to hurt our sibling relationship

talk about final nail huh?

i confronted him and he denied everything, obviously, he instantly played the victim card, how dare i think that way about him, how dare i break his dreams of reuniting the family again. he said things to me i’ll also never forget like, apparently, it shows that i’m a shit person because i have no friends and no one wants me around, unlike him that has so many. he told me i thought the world owed me when i was shit and i believed anything anyone told me before believing him. no one told me any of his lies, i caught them all by myself, but whatever. he cursed me and told me he never wanted anything to do with me because i was rotten and i only cared about money and i was so so selfish. this must have been around march and i still don’t know anything from him, or care.

what do i have to do for that side of the family to leave me alone, i wonder? all i ever wanted to do was be his friend

the “trial” against my boss came and suddenly every lawyer that worked at that firm was taking a fucking holiday except for the one that was supposedly leading my case - except suddenly, i didn’t have much of a case at all. i walked away with less than 2 thousand dollars and that was WITH the vacation days i hadn’t taken. the agreement was the lawyers were gonna keep 25% of however much i made but THAT vacation money wasn’t supposed to count because it didn’t come out of the “trial” thing, you know?

well, it did. the lawyer screwed me over too. but hey, at least he’d gotten me unemployment for a couple of months (you only apply for unemployment if you’re fired, not if you walk away from a job, and my having been fired or not was what was being contested), i still tried to be optimistic, i had a few months to figure things out while i looked for another job, and at least i was able to finish paying for school with that money.

yeah, this was late february, beginning of march. joke’s on me for being optimistic at all

my own brother plotting with my own mother against me has done a number for my mental health. i already had baggage aplenty, like every trans dude or girl whose parents would rather see them dead than be a dyke/fag (my mother’s own words, ladies and gents)

my boss of eight years kicking me to the curve at the worst moment in my life in the most humilliating of ways while blaming me for it has left me feeling so worthless to people in general. i’m getting better with time, i think, but i’m still all not there. i have a really hard time thinking my work is worth anything at all.

i keep thinking my brother was right, and i’m a shitty friend, and i don’t deserve anyone around. my only real friend at the moment is my girlfriend, which makes it really hard to have any arguments because i start feeling like my life is ending because she’s pretty much all i have left and she’s the most important thing in the world to me because i wouldn’t have survived all this shit i’m writing without her by my side. i would walk to hell and back for her. but nico also left me behind without a second thought, after telling me i was like a brother to him, no matter how many times i invited him to hang out or anything to keep in touch. i’ve been a shitty friend to a lot of people, but not him, and he still didn’t care about me at all, so i just stopped trying.

but now social distancing has got me all fucked up. i can’t trust people. i can’t go outside. everything is scary to me, i have at least two or three panic attacks per WEEK and they get nastier and longer every time. i know i need help, but i can’t even afford rent, let alone therapy. Uruguay has the worst unemployment rates since 2006 now thanks to our baby-Trump right now. i look for jobs daily even if the notion of having a job even SIMILAR to the one i had before gives me the shakes. programming isn’t as hard as some people may think, but the workplaces are usually VERY toxic because you’re valued by the amount of lines of code you write, and i’m so so tired. i’m still looking because I NEED. TO. PAY. RENT. but not because it’s something i want in life, at all. i’d much rather be poor and just do freelance work instead, but i’m failing.

i thank the people that have helped me or commissioned me these past few months from the bottom of my heart. i’m sorry i’m not more active, i’m sorry i’m still rusty and can’t draw faster, i’m sorry i sometimes spend half a day crying my eyes out because i just don’t know how to move forward. i have a week left, i still haven’t made enough for rent, let alone the bills or food. mabu used to get plenty of art commissions on etsy, but she hasn’t sold anything since march either and she’s younger than me so our financial struggles have an even deeper impact on her

i’m just so, so tired. i’m lucky to have mabu, and that is about it. i honestly don’t think i could have survived this year without her. for months the future has looked like a black screen to me. i can’t even trust the vegetable market in front of my fucking house because some piece of shit spread the rumor that i’m trans and now i can’t even open the door to my front house without getting stares sometimes, it’s ridiculous. i wish i could trust more than one person in the world so that everything wasn’t on her shoulders.

i’m not okay. we’re not okay.

that’s about it. i’m sorry i can’t end this on a more positive note. at least we graduated with an excellent score. not that we had a graduation, obviously. thanks corona.

thank you for reading if you read this far ♥

#this is literally 5k+ words of how my life went to shit :)#trying to write down feelings like i used to do seven years ago when i was transitioning because i have no other outlets #sorry new followers #(sorry old followers)

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