#and like it just represents their whole partnership from the very beginning

[sad-emo-dip-dye]

Idk if it makes sense but to me this is their red string of fate

[aphrostarot]

What Unexpected Blessings Are Headed Your Way?

What blessings do you not see coming your way and what are some messages from your spirit guides to help you better prepare for them?

As this is a general collective reading, some things may not resonate with you or your situation. DO NOT try forcing it to fit. If you would like to book a personalized reading with me go to my profile and follow the instructions on my pinned post.

If you enjoyed this reading and wanted to support me further you can do so by tipping me in the link in my bio or by booking a personal reading with me.

Pile One:

Who are you currently?

The Devil and Two of Swords:

You are currently at a point in your life where you have been indulging in temptations, maybe a bit too much. You are obsessed with the material world and obtaining things that you may have struggled to receive in the past. However, with the Two of Swords coming out to represent you as well, this tells me that you find yourself at a crossroads in your life currently. There is a difficult decision that needs to be made in your life and you don’t know which path to choose. One or both of these decisions may deal with your career or a hobby of some sort.

I am getting strong Libra, Sagittarius, and Pisces energy from this pile. So, some of you may have significant placements in these signs.

What is a blessing you don’t see coming into your life?

Ace of Pentacles and The Lovers:

There is a new cycle coming into your life, specifically in your career or a hobby. Now, I don’t want you to get your hopes up with The Lovers coming out. The Lovers doesn’t always mean a romantic relationship, it can signify a platonic relationship, or even just your relationship with yourself. In your case, I believe it is talking about a business partnership of some sort. Someone is coming into your life soon that will bring blessings in your career. I believe that this will be a new person because Ace’s always signify new beginnings, sometimes however they can signify a new beginning with someone you already know but, in your case, I do not believe you know this person.

Any messages or warnings from Spirit before this blessing comes into your life?

King of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles, and Eight of Pentacles Reversed:

You may tend to rush into things and then once you get there you lose your focus, get lazy, and quit before you finish. To that, your guides are saying that you will embody the King of Pentacles energy with this blessing entering your life. You will be a whole new person with this blessing. You will be much more responsible and reliable. It is worth noting that this person that is coming into your life will help bring this side of you out, so, they may also embody some of the King of Pentacles energy too. This blessing will bring with it a great deal of abundance for you. All you need to do is be patient, which may be hard for you, especially in your current state.

Bottom of the Deck Energy:

The Moon Reversed:

The bottom of the deck tells you the underlying energy throughout this whole reading and having The Moon come out reversed tells me that most of you may be feeling quite anxious in your life or paranoid but, you are hiding this from the rest of the world. I say you are hiding this because The Moon in Tarot deals with deception and all things hidden and because when I was doing this reading I was feeling very optimistic and energetic. So, I believe that many of you are putting up this facade of optimism and excitement for your future when you are not at all feeling that way, or, many of you may have been feeling down for quite a bit now but you are starting to get out of that funk recently, and now you are starting to have much more optimism in your life.

Extended Reading (what is specifically coming and how can you prepare?)

Pile Two:

Who are you currently?

Three of Water and The Star Reversed:

Pile two, you have been feeling lost and in a daze/brain fog for quite sometime now. You are normally a very sociable and joyful person who loves to hang out with people and have fun. However, something changed in your life that caused you to retreat within yourself and because of this, you have been feeling very down and anxious. Your self-image has been depleted, you no longer feel like you are worthy of anything, you think that people in your life no longer like you, and because of this, you no longer go out and have fun, instead, you stay by yourself most of the time now, preferring solitude. I was getting some major hot flashes while I was doing this reading so, many of you may also experience this or may just be a person who is always hot. Also, your guides had a lot to say during this reading so, many of you may not have been reaching out as much.

I was getting strong Virgo and Scorpio energy from this pile. So, some of you may have significant placements in these signs.

What is a blessing you don’t see coming into your life?

Seven of Air Reversed and Council of All Beings:

There is a much-needed change coming into your life soon. As I said above, I believe that many of you have been stuck in a funk for quite some time now and because of this you have not been reaching out to Spirit as much or have been ignoring their messages and warnings. Your guides may be forcing a change in your life but, this is not a bad thing. They see that you are stuck in a rut and they know that a change can be so good for you at this moment, so they are forcing it to happen. This change is going to be within you, not around you. It will bring out a more mature and kind energy within you, a loving energy that you have not felt in quite some time, if ever. This blessing is you learning how to love yourself the right way.

Any messages or warnings from Spirit before this blessing comes into your life?

Craftsman of Air, Messenger of Fire, and Ten of Air:

Your guides want you to prepare before this blessing comes in. Now that you know what it is, you can better prepare yourself by learning the proper ways to implement this loving and kind energy into your life. Make sure you are educating yourself in this time leading up to this blessing coming in because this will allow it to not only come in more quickly but also come in more seamlessly. You may be someone who wants an explanation for everything, reasons for why things are happening, just so you can understand why things are the way they are. But, your guides are telling you that it is time to let this need go. There is wisdom in your heart that is longing to be free whether you are aware of it or not. You’re on a journey to awareness beyond the self, inspired by something mysterious and beautiful that is part of you and greater than you. Let go of your need for control and open yourself up to the messages and wisdom from the universe and your guides. Learn the signs and symbols that your guides use to communicate with you so you can understand them better when they come in. You are just about ready for this blessing to come into your life but the only thing that is holding you back is you not being able to recognize when your guides are speaking to you. Start to pay attention to the synchronicities around you and slowly try and understand what your guides are trying to tell you by sending them your way.

Bottom of the Deck Energy:

Initiation Reversed:

Initiation is the card that handles the unknown, diving into the past, and going within yourself for answers. So, having it come out reversed as the bottom of the deck energy tells me that you are struggling to do all these things. You ignore your feelings as they come and do not like to remember your past because it may hurt you. However, by not dealing with the trauma you have in your past and ignoring it, you are making your present life much harder because you have so much underlying stress and triggers that your system is constantly overstimulated trying to protect you from all these things you don’t deal with. This blessing will allow you to release these things holding you back and make it so you know how to navigate these feelings as they come up. Again, however, educating yourself on how you can do this healthily is needed. If you need help doing this, make sure you reach out to a professional.

Extended Reading (what is specifically coming and how can you prepare?)

Pile Three:

Who are you currently?

Page of Swords, Nine of Swords, and The Empress:

At your core, you are a very nurturing and creative person. You are someone who is constantly educating yourself, driven by your curiosity. You fully embody femininity at its finest, you are very warm, comforting, and inspiring to the people around you. However, all of this being said, you are currently in a place rippled by anxiety, worry, and guilt. You are struggling with some great internal battles. You are in a time of great emotional turmoil at the moment, which is quite different from who you are at your core, so, you may be feeling very lost and confused at the moment because of this.

There is a lot of suppressing emotions with this pile, you are not allowing yourself to feel your emotions as they come. Because of this, I am getting strong Capricorn energy with this pile, specifically Capricorn Moons. This does not mean that everyone who chose this pile has to have these placements. If you were drawn to this pile then it is meant for you.

I am also getting a strong reserve of energy with this pile. It’s almost like you are currently blinded right now and not seeing your life for what it is, however, you may not be aware of this.

There is a lot of contradicting energy with this pile and contradicting emotions. There may also be some fear of change or even a fear of allowing yourself to feel, with this pile.

Many of you could be or have significant Capricorn, Aquarius, or Gemini placements.

What is a blessing you don’t see coming into your life?

Two of Pentacles, Ten of Wands, and The Hermit:

You have been stretching yourself thin for quite some time now and because of this, you are on the brink of burnout. You are at a significant crossroads right now, one path (the one you’re on) leads you to burnout and a very dark place, and the other path (the path your guides want you to take) leads you to a place of rest and rejuvenation. This blessing coming your way is your guides forcing you to take the other path. They know the outcome of the path you are on right now, so they are going to force you to deter. This blessing will force you into solitude, and force you to seek answers from within. It will force you to do some self-reflection, asking yourself who you really are, and who you have been acting like. How do you bring yourself out of these bad habits, and allow yourself to feel again? This solitude will bring along with it much-needed balance in your life that will lead you back to your true self.

Any messages or warnings from Spirit before this blessing comes into your life?

Ten of Swords, The World, and Nine of Pentacles:

Your guide’s message to you here is exactly what I said above. You are currently on a path that leads to a dead end, a destination that is nothing but despair. They are urging you desperately to make this blessing they are sending your way come in seamlessly. Don’t fight this change that's coming in, it is a blessing, but since you fear change your automatic reaction to this change will be to reject it, however, they do not want you to do this. Know that by accepting this blessing into your life, you will be allowing a completion to the cycle of constant suppression of emotions and the cycle of negativity that comes along with that. The journey to a pure self, a self-set on a solid foundation, and one who lives in a healthy mindset is long and very very unpleasant. It brings up a lot of suppressed and long-forgotten emotions and memories. But, this has to happen for you to build a better foundation to live on. As long as you can remember, the foundation you have lived on has been made up of the negative memories and emotions that are going to come up as you start to change, as you start to heal. Do not give up, the negative things have to come up for you to get rid of them and replace them with good. Whether that be them leaving completely, or just reconditioning your brain to view them in a different, more positive light. Either way, your guide's message here is to not fear this blessing, don’t reject it as it comes in, and don’t quit along the journey, for the destination is one of great success and self-sufficiency.

Bottom of the Deck Energy:

Page of Pentacles:

You are at your core, a star student, someone who is consistent in their path to true discovery. However, the negative place you have lived in for some time now has clouded this side of you. Your guides want you to know this side of you is not gone forever, it is simply suppressed. All you need to do is listen to their advice and you will find this side of yourself again, for it has always been there.

Extended Reading (what is specifically coming and how can you prepare?)

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Jewish Song of the Day #32: Miriam Haneviah

Comments:

Shavua tov! I hope you all had a nice, restful Shabbat and that its sweetness lasts you through the whole week.

I love this song, not just because it's Rabbi Deborah Sacks Mintz, but also because it's a feminist counterpart to Eliyahu Hanavi.

This is Rabbi Sacks Mintz's explanation:

In the 1980s, poet and liturgist Rabbi Leila Gal Berner composed a beautiful poetic midrash on one particular narrative moment we read in Exodus: Miriam’s role in leading the women of her community through the sea from the marginalization and oppression of slavery and into the unknown wilderness of freedom. An exploration of her beautiful poetry must begin with a framing of that very Exodus verse: וַתִּקַּח֩ מִרְיָ֨ם הַנְּבִיאָ֜ה אֲח֧וֹת אַהֲרֹ֛ן אֶת־הַתֹּ֖ף בְּיָדָ֑הּ וַתֵּצֶ֤אןָ כָֽל־הַנָּשִׁים֙ אַחֲרֶ֔יהָ בְּתֻפִּ֖ים וּבִמְחֹלֹֽת׃ “Then Miriam the prophetess, Aaron’s sister, took a timbrel in her hand, and all the women went out after her in dance with timbrels” (Exodus 15:20) Her curiosity with this verse, combined with a desire to see women prophets and leaders recognized more broadly in ritual moments, drove her to compose the poem we today know as Miriam HaNeviah. Written with a rhythmic cadence designed to match the traditional Eliyahu HaNavi melody, her hope was to raise Miriam up in the moment of havdalah. The lyrics to the poem itself highlight Miriam’s leadership as multi-faceted: strengthening the the world’s song through her dance, repairing the world through her song, and ultimately, bringing on the waters of redemption only with the partnership of the broader community. I was deeply inspired by Rabbi Berner, as well as one of my collaborative colleagues Rabbi Ariel Root Wolpe, to continue this process of creative midrash by adding to the story R’ Berner began. She wrote a new text to be sung to a traditional melody, and I wrote a new melody to be sung to that very text. R’ Wolpe herself writes feminist poetry exploring the role of Miriam and, through the context of our hevruta studying women ancestral leaders in prayer and song, unearthed this new melody from inside my own heart and soul. From a compositional standpoint, the chorus is the main event of this song. Reading “bimheira b’yameinu” - quickly, in our days - there is an urgency to the hope and prayer embedded in this poem for redemption, and thus the melody itself mirrors that urgency, ascending upwards on the word “bimheira.” Other compositional tactics I used regarding such manners of word-painting, include a dance-like groove underscoring each verse, in recognition of the repetition of the phrase “tirkod itanu - dance with us.” But by far the most essential creative component of this song is that it was recorded exclusively with women. My artistic team for this recording consisted of Rabbi Ariel Root Wolpe, who I mentioned above, as well as Chava Mirel and Elana Arian, two of my long time musical partners who themselves have dedicated their lives in service to the Jewish people through composing, performing, and leading new Jewish music around the world - as both ritual leaders and as women, wives, and mothers. We all felt a deep connection to the women who came before us - including Miriam, as well as the women rabbis and musicians who have influenced our work and lives since - and poured this inspiration into the project. The lush harmonies in this recording are designed to be representative of the voices of generations of women in prayer, song, and leadership.

And here are the lyrics:

מִרְיָם הַנְּבִיאָה עֹז וְזִמְרָה בְּיָדָהּ בִּמְהֵרָה בְיָמֵינוּ הִיא תְּבִיאֵנ אֶל מֵי הַיְשׁוּעָה מִרְיָם תִּרְקֹד אִתָּנוּ לְהַגְדִּיל זִמְרַת עוֹלָם מִרְיָם תִּרְקֹד אִתָּנוּ לְתַקֵּן אֶת-הָעוֹלָם בִּמְהֵרָה בְיָמֵינוּ הִיא תְּבִיאֵנוּ אֶל מֵי הַיְשׁוּעָה 𝑀𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑎𝑚 𝐻𝑎𝑁𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑎ℎ 𝑜𝑧 𝑣’𝑧𝑖𝑚𝑟𝑎 𝑏’𝑦𝑎𝑑𝑎ℎ (x2) 𝐵𝑖𝑚ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟𝑎 𝑏’𝑦𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑢 ℎ𝑖 𝑡𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑢 𝑒𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑖 ℎ𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑠ℎ𝑢𝑎 (x2) 𝑀𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑎𝑚, 𝑡𝑖𝑟𝑘𝑜𝑑 𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑢 𝑙’ℎ𝑎𝑔𝑑𝑖𝑙 𝑧𝑖𝑚𝑟𝑎𝑡 𝑜𝑙𝑎𝑚 𝑀𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑎𝑚, 𝑡𝑖𝑟𝑘𝑜𝑑 𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑢 𝑙’𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑛 𝑒𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑜𝑙𝑎𝑚 𝐵𝑖𝑚ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟𝑎 𝑏’𝑦𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑢 ℎ𝑖 𝑡𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑢 𝑒𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑖 ℎ𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑠ℎ𝑢𝑎 (x2) Miriam, the prophetess strength and song are in her hands Soon, and in our time, she will bring us To the waters of redemption Miriam will dance with us to strengthen the world’s song Miriam will dance with us to heal the world Soon, and in our time, she will bring us To the waters of redemption

[Source: bandcamp]

[merakiui]

aaaaaah, this is so late but! wowza, your latest rollo fic. i was perplexed, like, how could your brain came with such banger ideas and symbolisms?? (not restricted only for your rollo fic but for all of your fics, that rook one also tho.. chefs kiss)

:O thank you so much!!!!!!!! Rollo activates the part of my brain that works in overdrive when I need to get something done. I wrote the fic and its symbolisms so quickly after looking through Bible verses on obsession/lust. There is just so much inspiration and opportunity for religious symbolism with Rollo!!!

✧ the bible verse about lust and temptation being evil and thus giving birth to death - it's a juxtaposition to what Rollo's doing in the fic: knocking you up when you're most fertile. So then if (by the bible's standards) lust gives birth to death, it will seem so when Reader inevitably falls pregnant (as she didn't want to get pregnant in the first place), but for Rollo this is the beginning of life and all great things. So from his perspective, his lust is giving birth to happiness and fulfillment, but for Reader it causes her immense grief.

✧ the number three (i.e. Rollo doing things in threes like answering on the third ring or knocking thrice) - symbolic of divine harmony and wholeness.

✧ the crow - a representation of death, destruction, and grief in the bible.

✧ the goat - often a symbol to represent satan/the devil. However, goats (and lambs) are often used in animal sacrifices, whether to appease the divine or darker forces.

✧ the winter weather - oftentimes, we associate death and gloom with winter because plant life shrivels, animals hibernate, and it becomes deathly cold and quiet. Yet the friendship Rollo and Reader have is so very warm and wonderful. It's also a fitting backdrop to mirror/contrast their dispositions: Reader is a warmer, happier force that balances Rollo's colder, darker force.

✧ Reader wearing all black (lipstick, dress) vs. Rollo's white (hair, pale skin) - the classic contrast of black (darkness) with white (purity), only the roles are swapped. Rollo thinks you're filthy because you drink and party and allow yourself to be led by your own temptations, while you think he's "pure" because he's been nothing but sweet and friendly to you. This reverses by the end of the story.

✧ wolf in sheep's clothing reference - this is just canon Rollo. He acts kind and cordial, but there's always more hiding beneath the veneer he curates.

✧ cat and mouse in partnership reference - the moral of this fairy tale is that cats and mice are natural enemies who will not change even if put in a dire situation. Though he will forever and always be sweet to you, it won't change the fact that he does (and will continue to do) terrible things.

✧ the orange that's part of Reader's breakfast at the end - sometimes a symbol of fertility and prosperity.

Aaaaaa forgive me for rambling about symbolism!!! orz I'm very happy you can enjoy the symbolism in my Rollo story and other stories as well!!!!! ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡) the Rook story is one of my favorites I've ever written because it's just so dark and Rook is so horrifying in that kind of plot. I'd like to write darker stories with Rollo as well!! There are plenty of ideas and concepts stored within my drafts..... >:)

[itracing]

BMW M4 GT3 to use Colors of Motorsport Partners

The 2023 DTM season will see three BMW M4 GT3s competing in the colours of BMW M Motorsport partners. Reigning champion Sheldon van der Linde (RSA) will be defending his title in Shell colours in the #1 car. His new team-mate at Schubert Motorsport, three-time DTM champion René Rast (GER), will adopt the blue RoboMarkets design and retain the number 33. With his new Project 1 team, two-time champion Marco Wittmann (GER) will be sticking with his trademark appearance: the number 11 and the green Schaeffler design. The second driver and the design of the fourth BMW M4 GT3 will be announced by Project 1 at a later date.  

Andreas Roos (Head of BMW M Motorsport): “We are delighted to be able to present three of the BMW M4 GT3s competing for Schubert Motorsport and Project 1 in 2023 DTM season in the colours of our BMW M Motorsport partners. So many race appearances would not be possible without their support. Thanks for the many years of fantastic support! It will be really special to see Sheldon van der Linde defending his DTM title, sporting number 1 in the classic Shell colours. The connection between Marco Wittmann and Schaeffler with the ‘Green Machine’ has also developed over the years. René Rast will also adopt the colours of the second Schubert car, and will certainly be an excellent representative for RoboMarkets with all his experience and class as a three-time DTM champion.”

Sheldon van der Linde (#1 BMW M4 GT3, Schubert Motorsport): “Only a short time ago, I could only dream of defending my DTM title in the #1 car. I spent the whole winter considering whether to exchange my number 31, which has always brought me so much luck, for the number 1, but such an opportunity does not come along very often. The #1 is the icing on the cake for my Shell livery. I am extremely proud to be going into my fifth season with Shell, my partner from day one. I cannot begin to imagine competing in any colors other than red and yellow.”

René Rast (#33 BMW M4 GT3, Schubert Motorsport): “Both the BMW M4 GT3 and the colours of my partner RoboMarkets are new to me, but I really like blue and I am looking forward to my new look in the DTM. I will do my best to chalk up some successes for BMW M Motorsport, the Schubert team and my partner. It is fantastic that I am able to race with my number 33 again. It has become my trademark in the DTM over the years.”

Marco Wittmann (#11 BMW M4 GT3, Project 1): “This will be the fifth year of the partnership with Schaeffler and we have become friends during that time. We have grown closer during successful periods and more trying times. The fact that we all come from the same region means that we can identify strongly with one another, the fans and the Schaeffler employees. The number 11 is more than just my racing number. It is a brand and has also become a part of my life. The tattoo on my wrist is proof of that. I am proud to be competing again in the DTM with the #11 ‘Green Machine’.”

[texasjen13]

Hey, I love your blog and you're my favorite on all of Tumblr.

Can we get a full reading on Chris's FS situation? How is she handling all of this? I truly believe they're already in contact and suffering together through this whole mess.

I think Chris is juggling to get her to be patient and wait for things to end with Alba.

I really believe Chris's girl is already around, at least in the virtual world.

First card out is :

the queen of coins reversed- What this card means is that a romantic interest or partner may be feeling insecure or possessive or maybe projecting those emotions. It can also mean that future spouse needs to focus on her and her goals.

The clarifier card is:

7 of coins- which means that in a romantic relation, it represents fostering, patient and development, which is essential to a long-term partnership

The next card I have is :

the 6 of pentacles reversed- which means that there is an imbalance in the relationship there could be lack of equal given future spouse may feel like they’re being taken advantage of and the other person meaning Chris on the other hand may feel that they’re holding back. And if they’re not careful it could potentially turn into resentment in the long run.

Now, as the clarifier card we have:

Justice now the justice in upright in a love reading, says that future spouse should treat Chris Fairley and honestly just like how she would wanna be treated

The next card we have is :

the 4 of coins-which means in a love relationship again it may have some jealousy or possessiveness it may be fueled with jealousy or possessiveness kind of like the queen of pinnacles reverse. They may struggle with insecurities and fears. Not only future spouse, but Chris may have that about her as well, but this is basically how she feels at the moment

The card that is the clarifier is:

The hierophant- which means that future spouse is ready for serious commitment like getting married to Chris after this shit show is ended. And Chris may be feeling the same way once this show ends.

The next code we have is :

the high priestess- Now, with the high priestess in a love reading, talks about duality, they could view each other as their other halves. It could indicate soulmate or twin, flame energy, and on the other hand, they could also be a karmic relationship from a past life. The high priestess, as a love reading, is a sign of spiritual union, future spouse, and Chris are either mirrors of each other or polar opposites. Now they are opposite. It means that they complement each other and the card is a statically associated with the moon which governs intuition, and they could be very well in tune with each other, and when the other half is upset without telling them.

And for that clarifier, we have :

the four of wands- Which means that Chris and future spouse have a strong bond, built on trust, support, and understanding, and this signifies a harmonious and loving partnership.

This is where it gets interesting because I have both the queen and the king of pentacles in reverse meaning that there is a soulmate connection here they’re both a divine pair, Chris and future spouse.

What the king of coins represents is a person who is stubborn and materialistic. So I’m assuming that might be Chris since he’s in the limelight and it’s a divine masculine. Because the divine female is the king of pentacles, and we already saw her at the beginning of the reading.

So wrapping it up, there is a lot of pentacles meaning that Chris’s future spouse is definitely a Virgo because the queen of pinnacles represents a Virgo and then you have the other coins that also represents earth signs, but since we have the court cards, the king and queen of coins.

She’s definitely a Virgo and Chris does have Virgo in his chart. It may be his north note or something like that but the sign is a Virgo and it’s not AB because AB is a cancer. Plus check out the Bonus reading

That indicates the lovers card and you could see there’s two women and one man

[decepti-thots]

I’m trying to imagine the history of Meso and Prowl. Because Meso basically becomes obsessed with Prowl and I want to know why?

I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS I WROTE A FIC ABOUT JUST THAT

ok, shameless plug aside, it's a really interesting question, isn't it? i know roche has said on a couple panels that he very deliberately didn't consider mesothulas' backstory when writing sins, because he thinks over-focusing on unnecessary backstory can be an impediment to writing, which is true but also leaves a very fun gap if you want to do fanwork about it.

i think with what tarantulas does say about it himself we get something of a clue as to not the specifics of what happened, but how that whole relationship came to be so obsessive, though. when he talks about what happened after he was pushed into and escaped the noisemaze, he discusses how coming back to his wrecked lab was awful; that it was the place that represented the 'fullest' version of himself, and to see it destroyed was, to him, seeing a part of himself destroyed too:

i think the degree to which mesothulas became obsessed with prowl is probably linked to prowl giving him all that. he let mesothulas isolate himself away from the world and study it as an indifferent observer as he so badly wanted to, and provided the means for mesothulas to do basically anything he might desire with it. his whole self conception seems to revolve around his autonomy and isolation from the rest of the world. prowl basically enabled that point of view and made it possible for him to embody it completely. he sees his partnership with prowl as intimately, irrevocably linked to his work, which in turn is what he defines himself by.

i can absolutely see it as being that mesothulas didn't initially see prowl differently to anyone else, but that intense isolation combined with prowl constantly providing whatever he wanted to do his work, no questions asked, changed that over time. some of it was probably that he saw something similar in prowl to his own amorality that is more interested in results than questions of 'should i really do this', but a lot of it is probably that prowl provided what he wanted whenever he asked, and no idea was too big or too dangerous. at least to begin with. mesothulas links his self-realization to his partnership with prowl, and he liked being that version of himself. so prowl perhaps became the first person to really impact on his life as an individual, and intrinsically linked to him in a way that simply by virtue of being the sole person to do so, would have to wind up... horribly codependent. i mean, if you get a taste of that, you want more of it- and if there's only one person who you think can possibly provide it, of course that's going to wind up. uhhh. gestures at tarantulas. Like That TM.

(obviously as per my linked fic, my favourite headcanon is that i like to imagine they met when prowl tried and failed to defect to neutrality, but i can absolutely see a version where he approaches mesothulas as an autobot; mesothulas agrees thinking whatever, i'll take your cool shit if it gives me what i want even if i don't care about politics, and accidentally gets in way too deep. very terrible man makes his first friend and reacts extremely badly.)

[such-a-fellow]

You can't just drop "oh my queer theory read of Breaking Bad" and then not elaborate

Oh I will gladly elaborate! This is mostly compiled from thoughts I had while discussing Breaking Bad with my partner while I watched it for the first time recently. [NOTE: this is VERY LONG and disjointed, it ended up being almost a whole shittily structured essay. I have no idea if it makes any sense and I have edited nothing. bear with me.] anyway, i am so sorry, but here you go:

Because Breaking Bad is such a conventional tragedy with Walt's relationships (and how he wrecks them) as the series' emotional core, it's easy to read into the "why" of the choices he makes and consider if other unseen factors could contribute to his whole.......everything. Walt sucks, right? He's shitty and snappish at best and manipulative and abusive to the point of literal murder at worst towards pretty much everyone in his life; his enemies, his associates, Jesse, his kids, and most centrally Skyler, are CONSTANTLY on the receiving end of this stupid man's destructive spiral and rancid personality. Obviously, nothing excuses the depths the guy descends to, but his surface motivations are simple enough. He's terminally ill! His career has fizzled to a depressing dead end! He has an accidental baby on the way! Being embittered by the run-of-the-mill suckiness of him and his family's circumstances has led him to chase this grand unattainable ideal of perfect, conventional family life that he never can really achieve. The harder he tries to force his life into that perfect shape, the more he hurts those around him.

This is the first point of my idea that reading Walt as a closeted, very unhappily unaware bisexual can add a really interesting depth to the show. It would be easy to interpret Walt as gay and miserably closeted. He’s dissatisfied, he CLEARLY isn’t really in love with his wife, and he keeps pursuing this life of crime represented by the men he's caught up with (Jesse and Gus in particular). However, I think that simply reading him as gay misses an opportunity for extra complexity. Textually, Walt is caught between two lives and is never satisfied with either. No amount of money or accomplishment is ever enough for him. His white picket fence delusions and insistence that he loves Skyler even though it's extremely clear that what he loves is the idea of Skyler is one side of the coin. That's the ideal of conventional heterosexuality, which he always falls short of. The other side of the coin is his fight for power in the criminal world and his attraction to men, which I think is best analyzed through his all-consuming jealousy of the power and perfect security of Gus, who is known to be gay, and his relationship with the heavily queer-coded Gale.

This is mostly symbolic/subtextual interpretation, but again bear with me. In my mind, the narrative of Theoretical Bisexual Walt goes something like this: Walt begins to realize he's attracted to men through his initial partnership with Jesse. That relationship, however based in manipulation and overall shittiness, is one that Walt is drawn to because he sees Jesse as a gateway to the criminal world he wants to enter. It’s also his gateway to this new possibility of attraction which he had never considered and cannot avoid, even if he doesn’t want to confront it. Indeed, he's only forced to confront it later, specifically when Gale (artistic, scientific, opera-loving Gale) extends a hand of understanding to him. Gale is happy and content! HE has reconciled any parts of his life that might be disjointed. He deeply admires Walt, and openly presents him with the promise of friendship or more. Central to this, obviously, is his close association with the poetry of Walt Whitman and gift of Whitman’s Leaves of Grass to Walt. Walt Whitman is believed by most scholars to have been bisexual, as evidenced both by the relationships he had in life and by his poetry where he praises the beauty of men and women alike. The lightness and freedom and wonder at the universe expressed in the tones of his poetry fits Gale perfectly, and this is what Gale is offering Walt. Choosing to reject Gale is ultimately the thread which unravels Walt entirely in the end, because he’s rejecting not only Gale but any option to find joy in his new work beyond what money it can make him. This extends, in my opinion, to rejecting anything positive he could gain from his attraction to men.

As Walt is going through this slow realization, part of what drives him to despair is his persistent belief that what he really wants is still the same secure, middle-class, heterosexual family life with Skyler. More specifically, the thought that if he is attracted to men, then he cannot possibly HAVE that. This is why I like to analyze him as bisexual rather than gay; the way he can’t be happy anywhere at all, with either part of his life, is at its most complex and tragic when (like the Walt on the surface of the show) he absolutely could have had both if he hadn’t pushed so hard, if he hadn’t been so selfishly caught up in his own tragedy. If Walt is bi and accepts that, he CAN be happy! However, as we know all too well, Walt is a narrow-minded disaster. Internalized homophobia compounded with his “main character syndrome” hold him back from even trying to give himself space to explore his newfound attraction. Throughout this section of the story Walt is clinging harder and harder to that crumbling façade of happy heterosexuality. He’s more and more abusive towards Skyler and refuses to cooperate when she tries to divorce him. He even flounders through a lame attempt to have a heterosexual revenge fling when she cheats on him. I’d hesitate to reduce this to compulsory heterosexuality, because I think any percieved choice between the two here is entirely in Walt’s mind. To Walt, everything is binary. He can have a family life without deception and die in obscurity, OR he can stop at nothing to become the world’s most powerful druglord. He can be attracted to men OR he can be in a happy straight marriage. Like I’ve said, this is NOT a man who could ever concieve of both. This is where Gus becomes a bigger factor in Walt’s terrible horrible no good very bad sexuality crisis.

To even things out and to really drive home trajectory he’s set himself on, Gus has Gale killed. I think there’s definitely a portion of this that is escalated by the presence of Gus in Walt’s mind. Gus is everything Walt wishes he was in more ways than one. He’s rich, powerful, successful, clever. He carries himself with awe-inspiring gravitas. Now, as the audience learns, Gus’ primary motivation in becoming all of those things is vengeful grief over his lover’s murder. It is made clear to the audience in Breaking Bad (and expanded upon in Better Call Saul) that Gus is gay. For this unaccepting Bisexual Walt, the presence of this man who he percieves as above him in power and influence and who is also perfectly obviously gay and entirely secure in that is completely impossible to cope with. He’s past the point of letting himself consider options here, of course. He is jealous of Gus. All-consumingly jealous, just as he’s jealous of the Schwartzs’ wealth and happy marriage. Walt’s drive to remove Gus from the picture, then, becomes a conflation of not only his lust for power, but also of his self-imposed sexuality impasse.

In the end, the discovery of Gale’s Leaves of Grass gift—that quiet, friendly offer to Walt from a man who understood a part of him that he could never bring himself to try and confront—is what undoes the whole charade.

[nyx-b-log]

Leech by Hiron Ennes - Review

read: nov 2022

goodreads link

rating: 4 stars

content warnings: depictions of emotional and physical abuse, non-consensual sex, death, dead bodies, body horror, dissociation, graphic violence including against an infant, pregnancy, graphic birth, lack of bodily autonomy, toxic relationships.

plot summary:

In an isolated chateau, as far north as north goes, the baron’s doctor has died. The doctor’s replacement has a mystery to solve: discovering how the Institute lost track of one of its many bodies.

(copied from the goodreads page)

opinion:

double check those content warnings before you continue!

y’know, this would have been excellent to read in october asdfghjkl

set in a large, creepy, practically desolate chateau in a frozen wasteland where the train often can’t even make it all the way to the station, having to turn back before it even gets close, this is the perfect setting for a novel like this. a mysterious pathogen (in this case parasite) spreading in ways the main character can’t work out with an unknown number of infected, surrounded by a tiny town with a tightknit history; it’s all very gothic.

i actually went into this without fully reading the genre tags - i just read the description and thought hey, horror, queer, perfect – so i had no idea that this was a sci-fi book! and in my defence, it only really goes harder into the sci-fi elements at about the halfway mark (everything before that is just kind of allusions).

but, despite not expecting it, i was completely drawn in by the world-building. the places (verdira as well as other places that get mentioned, such as inultus but especially satgarden), the hints at wider catastrophe, the folklore stuff that we get from the priest (my personal favourite bits), it’s all fantastic. soft and slow-building, suiting the horror themes perfectly.

i'm not gonna spoil the plot at all (anything past like, chapter one is spoilers asdfghjkl), but the focus of the plot shifts partway through, and though i felt kind of weird about it as i was reading it, i appreciate it much more now, with a few days for it to settle in my brain. it’s subtle to begin with, but very cleverly done, especially with how it tackles the abuse which is present throughout the book.

the characters all feel very fleshed out, from the minor characters in the town (notably the priest), to the members of the household (notably helene and didier), to ofc the main characters. a lot of emile's development gets squashed in at the end (see gripe below), but it's all very well written imo, and it recontextualises a lot of the stuff he was doing earlier in the book.

my only real gripe with the book is the swapping back and forth between past and present. it's fine to begin with, with world-building and whatnot, but when the climax arrives and it's still happening, it kind of distracts from the tension that the present stuff is building up. the past stuff is all great, same for the present stuff, they just don't always mesh together very well.

(oh and kind of the twins. i like them, and i get what they represent, but they also don't always mesh with their surroundings very well. which is part of the point, ig, but for me they didn't really add a whole lot to the book as a whole.)

in terms of representation, for anyone interested, there's (imo well-written) depictions of disabled characters, a trans man character, non-binary experiences, a complicated mlm partnership (see toxic relationship content warning), and a lesbian couple (who are great and i adore them).

on the whole, i really enjoyed reading this. it's difficult to talk about in any level of detail without spoilers that i think would lessen the impact of a lot of the twists and turns, so if you're in the mood for that kind of book (and can handle some gore and ick) this is the book for you!

[uniform-master]

Sports Jersey Customization and Personalization.

Sports jerseys are not just garments; they are the very essence of team spirit and identity. Whether it's a professional athlete representing their nation, a youth soccer player playing with friends, or a fan proudly sporting their team's colors, sports jerseys hold significant meaning. In recent years, customization and personalization have taken sports jerseys to a whole new level, allowing individuals and teams to express their unique identities. This article explores the art and science of sports jersey customization and personalization, from design choices to technological innovations.

The Evolution of Sports uniform

Before delving into customization and personalization, it's essential to understand the evolution of sports jerseys. Uniforms in sports have come a long way from their simple and functional beginnings. Early sports jerseys were primarily designed for practicality, featuring basic colors and minimal adornments. Over time, the role of uniforms expanded beyond functionality to include identity, branding, and fan engagement.

Uniforms have become a canvas for artistic expression, conveying a team's history, values, and aspirations. The rise of customization and personalization in sports jerseys has accelerated this transformation, enabling athletes and fans to play a more active role in defining their team's look and feel.

Customization Options for Sports uniform

Names and Numbers: The most common form of customization involves adding the player's name and number to the uniform. This personal touch helps fans identify their favorite players and creates a sense of attachment to the team.

Team Colors: Customizing the colors of a sports uniform can be a powerful way to create a unique identity. Many teams have alternate or special edition uniforms with color schemes that differ from their primary jerseys.

Logos and Graphics: Teams can incorporate customized logos and graphics that reflect their history, culture, or regional identity. These elements can be placed on the jersey, shorts, or other parts of the uniform.

Patchwork: Patches and badges can be added to commemorate special events, achievements, or partnerships. For example, a championship patch or a tribute to a beloved coach can be added to the uniform.

Design Elements: Custom design elements, such as stripes, patterns, and paneling, can be used to create visually striking uniforms that stand out from the competition.

Special Features: Modern sports uniform can incorporate special features like moisture-wicking fabrics, mesh panels for ventilation, and ergonomic designs tailored to specific sports.

The Role of Customization in Team Identity

Customization plays a pivotal role in shaping a team's identity and fostering a sense of belonging among players and fans. Here's how:

Unity and Camaraderie: When players don uniforms customized with their names and numbers, it reinforces the sense of belonging to a team and encourages camaraderie. Each player becomes an integral part of the collective effort.

Fan Engagement: Customization extends beyond the field to fans who wear jerseys with their favorite player's name or their personalized designs. It creates a stronger bond between fans and the team.

Brand Building: Sports teams are brands in their own right, and customization helps reinforce their brand identity. It allows teams to convey their values, culture, and history through their uniforms.

Recognition and Legacy: Customized elements like championship patches or special logos can serve as reminders of past successes and contribute to a team's legacy. Fans and players alike take pride in these symbols of achievement.

Technology and Innovation in Uniform Customization

The advancement of technology has greatly expanded the possibilities for uniform customization. Here are some innovative ways technology is transforming sports jerseys:

Sublimation Printing: Sublimation printing allows for intricate and vibrant designs. Colors and graphics are heat-transferred into the fabric, resulting in high-quality, durable prints.

3D Printing: 3D printing technology is increasingly being used to create unique elements in sports jerseys, such as textured patterns and logos.

Augmented Reality (AR) Integration: Some sports teams are experimenting with AR applications that allow fans to customize and visualize jerseys in real time through their smartphones.

Sustainable Materials: Technological advancements have also led to the development of sustainable and eco-friendly materials for sports jerseys, aligning with the growing demand for environmentally conscious products.

Wearable Tech Integration: Sports jerseys are now incorporating wearable technology for performance monitoring. Sensors can be seamlessly integrated into the fabric to track vital signs and performance metrics.

Responsive Fabrics: Fabrics with responsive properties, such as moisture-wicking and thermoregulation, enhance comfort and performance for athletes.

The Fan Experience: Customized Sports Jerseys

For fans, customized sports jerseys are more than clothing; they are a tangible connection to their favorite teams and players. The ability to personalize jerseys has transformed the fan experience in several ways:

Fan Empowerment: Customization empowers fans to take an active role in supporting their team. They can choose their favorite player's name and number or create unique designs that reflect their passion.

Identity Expression: Customized jerseys allow fans to express their identity and individuality. They can add personal touches, such as names, nicknames, or messages, making the jersey truly their own.

Collectibility: Personalized jerseys often become cherished collectibles, passed down through generations. Fans take pride in owning jerseys that represent their history as loyal supporters.

Gameday Rituals: Wearing a customized jersey has become a gameday ritual for many fans. It's a way to show allegiance and create a sense of unity with fellow supporters.

Gift Giving: Customized jerseys make for thoughtful gifts. Whether it's a birthday, anniversary, or special occasion, personalized jerseys are a unique and meaningful present.

Challenges and Considerations

While customization offers numerous benefits, there are challenges and considerations to keep in mind:

Cost: Customized sports jerseys can be more expensive than standard jerseys due to the added personalization. This cost can be a barrier for some fans.

Authenticity: Ensuring the authenticity of customized jerseys can be challenging, especially when purchasing from unofficial sources.

Design Constraints: Some leagues and teams have strict guidelines on jersey customization, limiting the extent to which fans can personalize their jerseys.

Sustainability: As customization options expand, there's a need to consider the environmental impact of producing personalized jerseys with unique designs.

Conclusion

Customization and personalization have transformed sports jerseys into more than just functional garments. They are now powerful symbols of identity, unity, and fan engagement. From names and numbers to intricate designs and innovative materials, sports jerseys have evolved to reflect the unique character of teams and individuals.

As technology continues to advance, the possibilities for sports jersey customization are limitless. Fans will have even more opportunities to express their devotion to their favorite teams and players in creative and meaningful ways. Ultimately, sports jerseys will continue to be a canvas for the expression of passion, pride, and the enduring spirit of sport.

[alyjojo]

Advice to Work on Yourself 👩🏻‍🎓 in April 2023: Sagittarius

9 Wands - Knight of Swords - Strength - 4 Swords

Regarding: The Magician

Stop fighting everyone Sag 🔥 That’s it, that’s the whole message, have a nice day. There’s one of you out there like okay then…I hate reading, we’re done here 😆 The Magician is a powerful energy to represent you right now, but you’re kind of your own worst enemy too, because of Ace of Wands. This is a card of inspiration, an active new beginning, one that is exciting and charged with energy, passion, and because this is passion, and in certain cases, this can be a hothead or someone’s temper. Yours.

I don’t get the feeling you’ve already done this, some of you have, either side is tempted. Knight of Swords shows you rushing in with fact checks and communication, putting people in their place (probably), teaching and preaching, but being kinda harsh with what you say. This Knight nor Sag anything minces their words, there is no sugar on TRUTH. That behavior or your words may be seen as disrespectful, for some of you this is regarding a boss at work, for some this could be a relationship. Or both, both are here. You’ve gone though a lot of difficulties, you could have a bit of foot in mouth syndrome or being too brash, and all it’s doing is hurting your chances of success. Which is what you want, why you do it in the first place.

You’ve created heavy burdens for yourself and could feel alienated by others due to them feeling they have to have their guard up with you. 10 Swords could be a warning if this is a boss, or it’s showing you killing your chances at being this Emperor by how you act more often than not. You may not have support simply because of behavior or *how* you do something, maybe proving points. Communication. If you want to be an Emperor, you have to act like an Emperor, which is what your artist card says. Dress the part. Wake up at 7:15 every day and water the petunias at 7:20 and shower for precisely 10 minutes before grabbing some weekend pre-packed healthy lunch etc. No nonsense, no excuses, always on time because you’re the leader. Doesn’t have to be THAT rigid, and it’s not easyyy for Sagittarius to BE that structured for long periods. so give yourself breaks and switch it up, while still embodying this role you want to play.

Strength & 4 Swords are similar, you’re needing to restrain “The Beast” inside of yourself, because you want victory, simple as that. Controlling your temper, impulses, reactions, and mouth are all very important. At least if you want respect, which The Emperor does. 4 Swords is taking a break, stepping back, healing toxic patterns in yourself you may only just now be realizing are a problem. Because it’s stopping you from achieving your goals. 2 Cups and 5 Wands rev is healing your connections, whether it’s work related or partnerships, friendships, however this applies. You have to be nice, make connections with people, ask them how their weekend was, actually smile when you talk to them & make them feel good just by being around you, or safe, they can trust you to handle things, like you’re a good friend of theirs. Not guarded, hesitant & wary. It’s a rut you have to see to change.

Animal Oracle: Kiwi 🥝🐦

“Do a walking meditation each day for the next week.”

Most of the time, walking is a way to get from Point A to Point B, often in a rush and without regard for what’s going on around them. Meditation is typically viewed as something people do while sitting cross-legged for several minutes; however that’s only one form of meditation. Walking with awareness and intention is another. Find a place where you can simply walk for for 10+ minutes each day for the next week. Walk more slowly than you usually do. Be aware of the sights, smells, and sounds around you as you walk, as well as the breathing in your body. Whatever pace you set, be sure to breathe consciously and consistently with full awareness. Doing this makes walking a meditation.

Artist Oracle: GILBERT & GEORGE

- Be the art you wish to see in the world.

- Your work should not be selfish.

- Dress the part.

Advice:

- Advance Your Career

Charms:

Peace ☮️ on 4 Swords could show you needing to get into habits of taking periodic time outs, if knee-jerk reactions are a thing for you. Decompressing after work is very important, using things like yoga or meditation can help balance your mind. Or anything more fitness related even, especially for a fire sign, moving & exercise can be more of a stress release than just relaxing. Most of all, recognizing these things and consciously healing them, working on them, will allow you to create the opportunities you want in your life.

Starfish ⭐️ on Advance Your Career shows nothing is beyond repair, and growth is available to you. Right now even, this message may be a heads up of “This needs to be worked on right now, because the universe wants to move you higher & it’s time.” Once you work on yourself, put more into you and methods of controlling you, only you can, there’s an energy of things moving effortlessly. Spirit wants you to win, but not if you’re just gonna mess it up popping off or acting without thinking first.

[annoying-probably]

It's here! The Cinema dissection because I adore this song specifically right now!

I absolutely adore the event songs really, I love songs relating to characters and what the music itself can represent. I was actually between this and RAD DOGs because that is. Filled with character in the music alone but ! cinema is my brainrot.

I'm going to be using the choreography from both the colourful live and the in-game MV, aswell as the lyrics from Cinema's official vocaloid wiki translation! Do note! I wrote the lyrical analysis first then added on the choreo stuff afterwards!!! So when I start to talk about the MV || will show the start of it! || Is going to be the start of the 3dmv/colourful live! But there are parts where I don't talk about them because either I couldn't think of anything or it had no discernible meaning.

Everything's below the cut! :D enjoy!

Really, this is fairly long!

Forgive me for trying to keep up with lyrics and like three different videos at the same time! I'll add where is appropriate!

'suddenly everyone started up' makes sense to be sung by Kohane BC lmao protag things and being thrust into the limelight. The other lyrics here start of the cycle of repeating things over and over again. || The MV shows everyone slowly joining in, Akito being last, staring at a screen. (Presumably.) For now, they're staring without any doubts or hiding away. || The boys are facing down in the beginning, with the girls already facing ahead with Kaito, probably trying to show that they've made progress as a partnership, while Akito is falling behind, and by extension Touya.

'Road full of mistakes, going in circles' - well the roads are full of mistakes he keeps repeating, and refuses to find a new path cus it's all he knows.

"what's bad about that? Is there anything bad about that? If there is go on and tell me." From Kohane and Touya, direct dialogue with partners, trying to see where they think they're messing up, because to them, they're perfect. Followed by An and Akito telling them to find out where the issue is. To me, it seems like An and Akito singing it is meant to be a jab? Like 'its so obvious where I'm wrong. Just tell me already ' which does come up later! || Here we can see how each pair works, with one side (Kohane and Touya) trying to push the others to try, by how they like quite aggressively turn to each other and point, trying to almost call them out.

'A delusion of dawn, precious escapades, A misunderstood hero play-pretend' to meeeee sounds like Akito talking about his relationship with Touya? delusion of dawn, possibly being the sorta 'new day/new sun' he would see upon seeing Touya sing. Precious escapades reminds me of kids sneaking away, obviously very precious to the both of them- playing the hero of a misunderstanding, to Touya- he is the hero of that whole thing, saving him from such a horrid misunderstanding with his father about loving music and what brings happines. || At this point, we start to see everyone covering their faces- hiding away, they're trying to escape and ignore anything like their shortcomings, I believe. It also flashes past everyone's face, which reminds me of like snippets of everyone's life? Why i think it supports the theory of the past of those two and stuff! || Akito and Touya switched places, which I'm choosing to think is trying to show how, before, they were in each others shoes; Touya falling behind and Akito helping him.

'Traffics already jammed up now. Oh well, nothing I can do about that.' I'm not quite sure what to think! It's Touya sung, so it makes it sound like he's saying that no matter what, they're together, even if he can't fix the situation himself. Also could be a nice reference to traffic jam idk

ahh direct dialogue my love.

"it wasn't supposed to be like this."

"What was it supposed to be like, then?"

Is such a wonderful line of dialogue between Akito and Touya. Because in the way it's phrased- Akito sounds panicked. I believe it's meant to be coming from this stray bad dogs card!

With Akito quite visibly pissed off. Telling himself he messed up. It wasn't supposed to end this way. Only, to be snapped out of that by being asked what was meant to happen. It really sounds like Touya is sassing him tbh. Asking him how it was meant to be- because Akito doesn't know. To him, anything is good as long as he is.. winning; because if he isn't winning he is failing. If he's failing? He's not good enough. Touya sounds like he's trying to make him think, wonder what he really wants like this. He keeps striving for success with nothing in-between and no plans and gets annoyed when he fails, building a bridge with no supports. Touya is trying to help! || The MV shows them as being the same whole figure, cut down the middle and showing each half, which I think is nice to show how, as partners, they're one.

Which is immediately followed byyy 'The more I thought that..' which actively shows that fucking shocked Akito, to be suddenly hit with the realisation, other then RAD WEEKEND, he has nothing in mind. || So! They quite literally all fall into the chorus, with it being meant to be startling, like the process of falling or falling into a bad mindset of anxiety or paranoia.

Chorus time baby!

oh boy I love this chorus so much it's so caTCHY BUT HEY

It's.. it's Akito's panic, really.

In Stray BAD DOGS, we understand what Akito is like- if he doubts something, even once. He'll drop it and never look back, because he thinks if he doubts himself even once, he isn't on the right track.

"No it can't be this- not this. This is a bad fit for me. I'm not suited for it. Should I quit now, or-" Is the beginning of a turning point!

"But that’s not right, right!"

Up until this this point, the chorus is being led fully by Akito, with everyone else coming in to just make it more powerful, to me sounding kinds like intrusive thoughts, screaming together to stop. Or the other way around, screaming to help. But! When Akito says he wants to quit- everyone cuts in- they aren't letting him. Akito isnt allowed to just drop it and move on because this is so goddamn important to all of them. When he starts to doubt himself, other then nothing, he has people around him lifting him up and helping him. It's entirely new for him, in this manner! || And here, again, we see everyone start to cover their faces and shy away.

"I wonder, when will I get to be the star of this show?" Seeing everyone he cares for telling him to keep going, all he does is ask himself when he gets to be like them, get his breakthrough moment. Kohane got everything; becoming friends with An by chance. An was born into a family why she has been able to cultivate talent all her life, and she found the partner she needed. Touya finally got to break free of his chains holding him back and can sing properly now, with his own voice. || Akito is in his stray bad dogs outfit, wondering when he gets to be the star, staring blankly ahead, preparing to presumably do a show he can't put his everything into, because he fell behind. || Have to be honest, of the stage show, I can only understand Akito turned to face the audience, hand outstretched, asking them when he gets to be the star.

They all left Akito in the dust as the supporting, even if they'd never see it that way. But to him? He's falling behind.

Character specific lines!!!

'Laughing every time I fall short..' From An! Which makes sense, she's always been known to pick up and dust herself off when she falls, she knows how to deal with a mistake light-heartedly!

'Crying every time I count my growing baggage' Kohane sweetheart do you need a hug!!!this poor group is traumtizing her-/j it's probably more just like her learning and trying to grow with more responsibilities!

'Feeling disappointed when things aren’t as I planned' Very much Akito, yeah. He hates things not going his way.

'I can’t even blame anyone else, and it bothers me' since Touya is likely used to blaming his father for his shortcomings in music, I believe it's referencing that? || On stage, with everyone singing their parts one by one, they join in in cannon, adding their own parts to the dance like how they add their part to the group itself.

In essence these four lines are to point out flaws or struggles this group has with failure. An can laugh it away, Kohane has to cry to get it out, Akito gets disappointed and Touya gets annoyed at himself. It's character building, showing their flaws and letting them be emotional teens still navigating failure.

'The lights of the brilliant shining city' apparently that's a direct yuurei Tokyo reference but I've never listened to the song and can't comment on it whoops

'Passing by my defeated expression' Akito is starting to work past his mistakes. However he's doing this by overworking himself and forcing himself into training every hour he can because if he isn't improving and catching up, In his own eyes, he isn't anything.

'The time to start is now! Yes, that’s right-! let's try again...' Right! I think this is in correlation to the show's they all put on at livehouses and things, because before they say they do it all a thousand times and stuff! Akito is trying to swallow his worry and move on, saying he's going to try again.

And we're back to the chorus!!!! I love this so much.

So we basically get a repeat of last time! Despite trying, Akito starts worrying again, following the same anxieties that even at his best, he's still falling behind. Yet, this time we see a change!

'This can't be right, right. This is a bad fit for me. I’m not suited for it. I could stop now but, It kept repeating thousands of times.' Here, Akito is, like we said, going over the same worries -until- he starts fighting back on these worries. Saying he could quit, but now the thing repeating a thousand times was the things his friends have said; pushing him to keep trying, to not give up.

' I’ll just keep hoping for tomorrow.' Now, he has some hope. That maybe it'll be better, or it could be that maybe he has the strength to give up. But I do think he's trying to find the strength to be on level with everyone else, in his own mind! || This MV pattern follows the same as the last chorus I don't need to add on!! it's the same meaning different place :)

So we go back to the same delusion of dawn thing, which is probably there to show the whole essence of everything repeating over and over again! However it's now very slightly different!

This time, we get Touya talking about something he drew..? Honestly I'm not quite sure what that means.

"When was it that I…?" However is a line I can identify! This is Akito, again, questioning when he started questioning himself, when he started to feel like this is what he wants to do, no matter what. Even if he doubts himself, even if he wants to quit. He'll keep moving forward with it, no matter what he would have done as a kid.

And, like everything repeating over and over again a thousand times...

We go back to the start of the reel of film, with An starting to do the narrating.. but it seems a bit different, now...?

'Suddenly everyone started up, onto a nonsense scenario. ' Once again, starting to Nonsense. || An and Kohane look into the cinema first, watching the show now a row back, not shying away, just watching.

"What are you playing at? Who are you trying to be?" Well, that's different! We're back to Touya trying to push Akito in the right direction again. He knows he can't force him, he has to find it himself, so he's pushing him- asking him what he even thinks he's doing, basically. This is probably carried on from earlier, but going from the next line it could very much be Akito imagining this to push himself, predicting what his partner would say to him if he started to aim for goals he doesn't know again. || Following An and Kohane, Akito and Touya are watching, too.

"There’s no way you could be that, right?"

So, I'm definitely going with Akito imagining this, since this line is said by him. He's finally making that push forward, probably mid show;

"It's not enough..." This time, Akito isn't alone. It's him, Touya and Kaito. He knows he isn't alone. Even if, from here on out, he's imagining what everyone is saying, it doesn't matter.

"We’re not there yet, yet" Touya is yelling for him again, for him to keep going. He knows they aren't done yet, it's like he's reaching out his hand. || Also show by the fact the first thing we see of Akito trying to push forward is Touya smiling, looking ahead.

"This can’t be the end, so, If you’re not suited for the role-

Then just rewrite the script!"

I love this line. so. so. so much. Sung by Kaito, who I believe was manifested from Akito's unwillingness to be carefree, especially since Kaito in other sekais seems to portray a more carefree side of someone they may hide away(I'm going off WxS and MMJ since I p much believe Kaito in L/n sekai is meant to be Saki's manifestation of Tsukasa? Could be wrong have no clue). He's reaching for him to understand his true feelings, to get his true potential by letting go a bit- forcing yourself to be perfect never works! That's why he's being told this from these two specifically! Also An and Kohane are backing them up what queens! || Kaito starts everyone on reaching up, clawing their way out of a hole, reaching for a light.

"Look, for the most part, I’m sure it’ll always just be me-" funnily enough, this is sung by everyone, but led by Akito. I think it's him imagining his friends there backing him up. He's talking about it just being him because now he isn't trying to be some perfect figure, only himself. He cares less about failing now, because failure will ultimately lead to success.

"The leading star will only be me!"

And there it is! Akito is able to let himself be free of his own shackles holding him back. Even if he's fighting for the main spotlight on a stage, he's always going to be his own protagonist! So now instead of pushing against something currently unbeatable, he's pitting himself against his team, which makes everyone else fight harder, too! All in fun of course! It really does sound like a childish deceleration of war! || This shows Akito punching a first forward with a smile and wink, which reminds me of something like a shonen protagonist, taking his spot in the spotlight. Everyone else is turned to face downstage, pointing across at him to make that artificial spotlight! Showing the audience where they need to look- at the current star.

"Someday it’ll be bye-bye, when the end comes. Smile for the curtain call and the applause." This is just as it reads, one day they know they will reach their goal, no matter what. So for now? They practice, taking their bows and smiling to their audience today. || Everyone creates a circle, facing outwards! I believe this is meant to showcase the sort of cycle they get stuck into of repeating everything over and over again, with everyone at some point taking the centre stage, or someone falling behind. It can also show them being a coherent unit, working together no matter what. Kohane is also very behind on her bow- which is nice characterization!

"The future I wanted to change has come." So this line is sung by everybody, but it's quicky followed by Touya (including him taking centre stage) and it creates an interesting point for Touya's general motives I'd never noticed- he's always reaching for a future. Hell he manifested a whole song from it which went over him finally finding a future where he can smile and laugh with everyone- this? This is the start of it for Touya. But at the same time, it's saying that the future that everyone wanted to change has came, meaning the end of a show! || Everyone's back in the cinema, looking back on their past selves, now after they've grown, watching how far they came. || Even in a song about Akito, it still has to show that him and Touya have each others backs, Touya running in front first so Akito creates the wall to lean on like he did when they met- supporting Touya from the start. Suddenly, Touya flips it on him, like he did in the event itself, trying to show Akito that he will always have his back and that he should rely on him a little more. Akito looks back, knowing his partner is there, now. Before he goes back to taking his own spotlight.

"Whatever you like, however you like it,

This is it. I made it here, all the way from the bottom.

Just like a movie, this is my story."

And Akito signs everyone off, saying that no matter what you think, this is his underdog story, nobody elses, even if he has help.

Last thing we see before the Cast list, is Akito standing alone smiling ahead, being the star of the show, like he said!

[multific]

Our Design

Hannibal Lecter x Reader

Request: Is it okay if I request an imagine for Hannibal? The Reader and Hannibal are both serial killers, though with completely different “calling cards.” Once, we copy the Chesapeake Ripper’s technique in order to cover up a murder. Intrigued, he copies ours and we go back and forth for a bit until meeting in person. Then, we form a bit of a “partnership” that eventually turns into a romance.

This has been going on between you and the Ripper for a long time.

First, you copied him to cover your tracks, in fear of getting caught, but now, now it was a game.

Although your style from his was very different, he managed to copy it perfectly, and so did you with his design.

The Lonely Heart Killer is what they called you since you always took the heart of your victims out. It was a sign for your past lovers and to represent your currently lonely life. 

You hid your true identity very well.

You were a professor, specializing in psychopaths, as you like to say, takes one to know one. 

You were in the middle of teaching a class when Jack barged in, asking for your help. He explained that Will was not fit at the moment to be on the field, so you filled in his place with a doctor.

This is how you met Dr Hannibal Lecter.

And you knew, from the moment you looked at him. You knew who he really was.

He was tall, handsome, sophisticated and smart.

As he does, he invited you for dinner.

You also knew that he was aware of who you were. You saw it in his eyes, the moment he realized that he finally met the person who is able to copy his design so well.

Just as you suspected, he was careful. Every sentence he formed was well thought out. Even his breathing was strategic.

And you liked it.

Hannibal was certainly a very interesting person and you wanted to know more. Not just about his methods, but about him as a whole.  And you knew just the way to do that.

You copied his design down to every little detail, leaving little hidden messages only he would understand. But of course, one Will saw it, he knew that it wasn’t truly the Ripper.

After that you dinner’s at Hannibal’s became more regular and open. You started opening up to one another about your lives. You formed a sort of partnership.

You flattered Hannibal with copies and so did he.

In a way, you saw this as a form of flirting. Each body representing a new bouquet of flower.

He started hiding things in his design, for you.

“He is sending massages to the other killer?” asked Jack.

“No, he is courting.” explained Will.

It always amazed you how quickly Will was able to read you and Hannibal.

The next bodies were found in a tower. All of their hearts ripped out and hung up like a chandelier. 

“This is... bon bons.” said Will. Surely the kind gesture made you feel special.

In the end, you and Hannibal started dating officially. Still sending messages through the dead, and spending every night together.

It was a working relationship, the best one you ever had. 

Will was shaking, he suddenly turned to look at Jack.

“This...They are together, The Chesapeake Ripper and The Lonely Heart Killer.”

Hearing the two names mentioned in a sentence like that with such a context, everyone felt a shiver run down their spine. 

Looking at the man, sitting at the table, his heart out in his hands as he was holding it. 

Everyone knew, this body was only the beginning. 

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[trashgalactica]

So I finally got around to watching the Killing Eve finale and...hoo boy. I have some thoughts. Buckle up because this is gonna be a whole essay.

I knew going in to the finale that the ending was likely to be...not good. The mishandling of the Eve and Villanelle’s relationship, the meandering plot and subsequent rush to tie off all the loose ends did not exactly fill me with hope. I had avoided all spoilers and discussion of the finale online, which meant swearing off Tumblr entirely, but still I felt the rumblings of people’s displeasure and thought, oh, this is going to be BAD. Even then, I could not have prepared myself for just how profoundly they botched the ending. It honestly beggars belief. To somehow make a worse, less satisfying ending to this show than what we got, I feel would take genuine deliberate effort. Some part of me expected Ashton Kutcher to pop up after the credits to tell me that I just got punk’d.

I think it’s important to explain WHY this ending was so bad, because already I’m seeing smug responses to the controversy asking why anyone should expect anything but death for these characters when its been clear from the beginning that this isn’t a story with a happy ending. There’s a real ‘I told you so’ vibe coming from these kinds of takes and its frustrating to me to see people upset about the finale being painted as naive petulant children who are mad about their toys being taken away from them, because I think it fundamentally misunderstands the source of  (most) people’s ire.

The issue isn’t really that Villanelle died. I think the majority of us knew, going in, that one or both of Killing Eve’s leads dying was a very real possibility. I honestly would have been surprised if they hadn’t killed at least one of them off, despite the way the books go, because much of the shows length was spent foreshadowing that outcome and showcasing Eve and Villanelle’s mutually destructive behaviour towards each other. The issue is that they executed her death so INCREDIBLY poorly. I’m not a person who thinks you can never kill a queer person in a film or TV show- the rate at which popular media does so given how few LGBTQI characters of significance are represented on our screens is of course a concern- but I do believe it is possible to have a queer character die without invoking the bury your gays trope.

BUT.

You have to EARN it. If you’re going to kill a character off it has to make narrative sense. It should fulfil that character’s arc in a satisfying way without feeling like they’re being punished for their queerness. Villanelle’s death achieves none of this. The show spends its run building up to some final showdown with the 12 only to have Villanelle easily dispatch a bunch of faceless randos in the last five minutes of the show, while Eve is dancing at a wedding (???) I guess (???), and then have another (offscreen) rando dispatch her with a sniper rifle. The End. Literally- that’s the title card. It’s abrupt. It’s pointless, sloppy. It doesn’t tie into any of the thematic elements of the previous seasons. And it does so after it spends an entire season not knowing what it actually wants to do with its leads and wasting much of the run with new characters and subplots which ultimately serve no purpose.

It’s possible to imagine an ending where our leads die but it feels like the right narrative choice. Perhaps instead of resetting the board after season 3 and have Eve and Villanelle once again on opposing paths (the writers never did seem to know what to do with Villanelle and Eve once they actually were in the same room together, preferring instead to use the tension of their cat and mouse game to see them through the wobblier sections of the show), we actually see them trying to make a partnership work from the beginning of the season. Maybe, despite knowing that they will ultimately lose, they decide to take on the Twelve together, who, in this alternate universe, are actually a real threat instead of some mooks on a boat. Imagine, Eve and Villanelle- hand in hand, each with a smile and a gun, preparing to infiltrate some grand estate, knowing they’re hopelessly outnumbered but believing it better to go out in a blaze of glory than live long and dull empty lives or submit to the control of someone else. Fade to black. Or maybe they end up killing each other – the weight of everything that they’ve done to to the other too far a gulf for them to actually overcome, their collective darkness bringing out the worst in each other leading to their ultimate demise. Either of these options would be narratively consistent with what the show had built up until now, and provide some emotional weight to their deaths and close out their arcs in a coherent way.

Instead they fell into exactly the same trope that so many films and shows do which is to have these characters consummate their relationship at the Nth hour and then kill one of them off to wring an unearned sense of pathos out of the shock value. That’s not some shakespearian tragedy like Laura Neal seems to imagine it is. It’s just lazy writing. It’s like the episode got written at 9pm on a Friday night and everyone just wanted to get it over with so they could go to the pub.

Worse, it’s obvious that the showrunner FUNDAMENTALLY misunderstands who these characters are and what they want. To frame Eve’s survival at the cost of Villanelle dying as a ‘rebirth’ and that now she can ‘move on from their toxic and obsessive relationship’, to ‘rediscover what the normal world has to offer’ as if Eve hasn’t spent the last four seasons making it clear that she was miserable in her old life, that she felt trapped and isolated, and that Villanelle was the one person who she truly connected with- seems laughably tone deaf. And given how soon it occurs after Eve and Villanelle actually get together, frankly homophobic. Much like other examples of Bury Your Gays, this framing- consummation of a queer relationship, followed shortly thereafter by death, the implied return to the status quo, makes it feel like Eve is being punished for stepping outside heteronormative boundaries, especially with that brutal hard cut ending. Villanelle, as the ‘instigator’ and clearly the more ‘deviant’ of the two is killed as a lesson to Eve about what happens when you follow in her path. It implies that Eve’s growth over the show isn’t her embracing her true nature, but rather a corruption of it. Its Hays code era messaging, even if that’s not what Neal intended. As Eve herself says- somehow I survived, but for what? Everyone is gone- Villanelle, Niko, her friends. Carolyn betrayed her. It’s remarkably cruel and yet Neal frames this as a triumph.

It’s honestly like she didn’t even watch her own season. Some of the things she says seems fundamentally at odds with what we see on screen. Yes, Eve and Villanelle’s relationship to each other has been toxic and obsessive and destructive, but it feels to me that the show has spent the last two seasons exploring how their relationship has grown out of obsession and into something resembling genuine connection, even if the way they relate to each other and the world is warped. It asks the question- can these two fundamentally fucked up people form a relationship without ultimately destroying each other?  Now it’s okay if the answer to that question is no, but if that’s the direction you’re going in you need the rest of your narrative to support the conclusion. If you want your audience to go with you when you say clearly this relationship is destructive, that it doesn’t work and can never work, maybe don’t spend the only episode where they do get together, demonstrating how well it IS working. As the writing maxim goes, show don’t tell!

The mischaracterisation of Eve this season is probably the most egregious, but nobody comes out of this season unscathed. Villanelle’s growth over the previous three seasons is thrown out almost entirely, Carolyn, though charmingly mercenary in previous seasons, is downright sociopathic here, and her constantly flip flopping allegiances and unclear motivations- while I think meant to demonstrate her lack of loyalty and capacity for betrayal- end up just making her seem silly and incompetent. The Twelve, a mysterious far reaching, dangerous and seemingly unbeatable organisation? Turns out you can find them all just hanging out on a wedding boat, and despite their importance and the fact that they are surely aware that somebody is killing a bunch of them off, it’s super easy to get on board by pretending to be a celebrant!

So to conclude this rant, like most of those criticising the show’s ending I’m not angry that they killed Villanelle. I’m angry that they squandered the incredible potential of this show, the talents of its actors and insulted the intelligence of its collective audience by killing her in the most cheap, lazy and unsatisfying way possible. Sandra Oh and Jodie Comer are incredible actresses and they did an admirable job with what they had, but I’m devastated for them that the show went out this way. No real resolution, or sense of thematic closure, just a rushed hack job by someone who doesn’t understand the characters that she’s writing. Laura Neal, may you spend the remainder of your miserable days haunted by angry, shitting seagulls.

[stedebonnetsbignaturals]

So I just finished my reread of Interview with the Vampire and a rewatch of the movie, and along with all of the middle school nostalgia and realizing just how racist they are, I’m also having some thoughts about Guillermo and why he has such a strong feeling about Armand.

This is not thought out in any order, I should be asleep, I have work in the morning.

IwtV really is about catholic guilt. Louis doesn’t need crosses or holy ground to torment him about his sinful soul, he does that to himself. As for Armand, of course there is the obvious connection of seeing a Hispanic vampire for the first time (Mamá de la Cruz probably was not letting her kid watch From Dusk Till Dawn I’m sure), but there’s also what Armand represents in the narrative. Guillermo must be screaming at Louis throughout the text. He hates this gift that Lestat gives him, he survives on rats until finally caving and feeding on humans, he clings to his misery and his memory of human life.

The other vampires either do not recall human life (Claudia, Armand) or they just don’t give a fuck about it (Lestat). Armand in particular is old enough that he’s discarded whatever has been human about him once. And with that comes freedom. The choice that Louis is given when Armand asks for his companionship is this: will you shed your regret, your hatred of yourself and what you are, and decide to love your life/undeath and embrace it? Louis decides not to, he decides that he will be brooding forever, and Guillermo must hate that so much. Guillermo wants that choice so badly, and he wants to go with the hot foreigner with the long black hair and shed all of his shame and self-hatred.

Armand’s view of vampirism is what Harvey has said about it: that it’s freedom. It is the escape from the society that will pin you down and make you feel less than whole for not conforming to it. Armand says: this is what we are. Heaven and Hell do not matter, because we are immortal and will never see them. We have power if only we will take it, and we are free to love each other and live our lives how we please. It’s a very queer point of view.

I was 13 or 14 when I first read it. I couldn’t quite pick up on a lot of the queerness the time, which is a little bizarre because I was already a queer little weirdo. But there is something, even if you’re too immature to read into all the nuance, that speaks to a queer kid who feels othered. IwtV is full of male partnerships that are without a doubt erotic, even without on page/screen sex. The vampire society seems kind of built on partnerships or family groups that are extremely queer. So not only is this the first Hispanic vampire Guillermo has ever seen, he’s a dashing older man offering to be a gay life partner and travel the world with the protagonist.

Anyway I’ll probably not like the way I’ve phrased this in the morning but here’s what I got right now. Also I have not read past about halfway through TVL yet so I’m sure there’s like. Stuff I’m missing from the rest of TVC. This is the beginning of the big Anne Rice read/reread

[starseed-twenty]

Houses determining an 'age stage' 🔮

Okay, so this is a random long post, but.... do you ever think that perhaps the houses in our charts represent the stages in our life? From birth to death? Cause I do.

So basically... the first house (the ascendant) is our energy as soon as we leave the womb. But through life and its dynamic changes, our energy can change into the traits of the sign in the following house because circumstances drive us into having that sign's traits/vibe.

Personally, I'm starting to believe that each of the houses in a person's birth chart holds a stage or period of time in your life where your energy is more focused in that area/house. That's why you'll hear for example "if your 4H is in Sag, you most likely grew up in a carefree home"... cause at the time you were growing up, your energy was focusing on the 3rd and 4th house. And so you transcend into Sagittarius energy because it is in your 4th house.

For example, a person with a Capricorn Ascendant. At birth, they're calm, reserved little babies, who tend to get upset pretty easily. Until they get a little older (around 3 years old) and start developing these Aquarius traits/energy because of their 2nd house [unless Capricorn is in both 1st and 2nd house]. But once they get to an age where they're making sense of the world and developing a sense of being and being aware of the things they have, this is their 2nd house age stage activated.

Okay, so let me put it like this:

1st house age stage [birth to around 3 years]: Since the 1st house is the house of 'self' and revelation (or showing yourself) to the world, this is how it correlates to birth and being a newborn. 1H rules beginnings, the body, and approach to life. The sign you have in 1H is the sign you act as in your approach to life from the beginning to the end. [Side-note: This is because every house you enter that stage in is carried on with you until you're old and die. So you don't necessarily let go of the house because you're in a new age stage, but it merely becomes dim. It's there, but it's not ruling like the age stage you're currently in].

2nd house [around 3 to 6 years old]: This is the age or stage when you're making sense of the world and develop a sense of being and becoming aware of the things you have, as I mentioned. So you're basically becoming conscious about yourself, whilst adapting to the values, possessions, and skills you have. So the sign you have in 2nd house is how you handle that. For example, if you have Capricorn, you're more stern, careful, and calculative about all the possessions and skills you hold. You normally put those things at a high standard, and it can take a while for you to attain certain things because Saturn (Capricorn's ruler) encourages you to earn all that you have.

3rd house [7 to 10 years old]: At this point, you know who you are, what you have, and how you normally approach life. In trying to develop yourself a bit more, you look around you at who the people around you are. 3rd house is Gemini's house, and Geminis are very conscious beings; of people, things to learn, and their word (a bit too conscious, and that's where the 'two-faced' cliche comes in). So this age stage then comes with using the mind a lot. Learning stuff and getting ideas, speaking about them, knowing what friends are and being close with siblings, if any, and sharing stuff. The sign you have there is how you acted through all of this.

4th house [10 to 13 years old/puberty]: This is when you start grounding yourself and knowing where you come from, who your real family is, the foundations of your soul's intentions (life path), and where you feel secure.

This, I would say, is the basis or core of a person and who they eventually become at their peak or in the public eye. So if they grow up in a home that isn't too stable, they grow to oppose that to become more stable in order to bring balance [because 10th house is the 'aftermath' that's opposing of the 4th house]. So the sign you have in this stage is the sign you live out as [e.g, Sagittarius 4th house had a more free-spirited way of living in their pre-teen age].

5th house - [14 to 18 years old]: Now this is where a lot of us begin our adolescence age, and this is because the 5th house comes with this 'being a teenager' energy. 5th house is about creativity, hobbies, exploring, romance and love affairs, self-expression, and drama. A whole lot of drama. We dramatize the things we go through, our bodies and its changes, things that happen at school and at home, and sometimes the 'situationships' we're in. Everything's just such a story. And that is 5th house energy in act. The sign you have in 5th house is how you'd find yourself going about all of these things.

6th house - [19 to 24 years old]: At this stage, you've seen the world from your perspective and played around with your interests & hobbies, so you come to a point of either wanting to capitalize/profit from those hobbies or talents, or settle on simply trying to make money to become stable because now 'you're an adult'. So with that, you're more focused on working, routines, productivity, and self-improvement. For some, body changes also occur here because the 6th house is also about health and body.

Now the sign you have in your 6th house is most likely how you'll make that money or what your career will be like. For example, a person with Gemini in 6th could pass off as a Youtuber, Instagram Influencer, perhaps a Tiktok star, or anything in a field of communicating to people and spreading ideas or trends in a cool way.

7th house - [24 to 27 years old]: After developing yourself, your career, and your financial health, you then find yourself wanting to settle down romantically and start creating a home. So here come relationships becoming more serious, sharing stuff (your ideas & values going forth, your assets, and your whole life) with someone, and basically getting the real feel of marriage or long-term pairing. But the 7th house doesn't only rule love, it also rules partnerships, contracts, and alliances. So how you are one-on-one with people and merging with them is your 7th house influence at play. The sign in your 7th house is how you present yourself through all of this.

8th house - [27 to 30 years old]: The 8th house is a pretty complicated house, but nonetheless it's very good for growth [through changes]. At this age, many experience events that bring depth or deeply felt peak experiences. It's as if it's this rebirth of some kind where you rediscover yourself. From another standpoint, this is where there's more depth in a relationship/marriage, joint ventures or goals coming together, inheriting some money or assets, and also perhaps feeling really sexually liberated or just simply getting to the point of procreation (and this why most people have or picture having kids at this age). From any of these standpoints, the sign you have in the 8th house is what comes out the most as your energy.

9th house - [31 to 35 years old]: This is the age of you finding the true meaning of life and what your beliefs and values are contrary to what you've been taught, but really establishing your own and sharing them with your significant other or/and children.

This is when you're most philosophical, and have a bit of time for journeys, travel, expanding your knowledge, your taste/style, your beliefs, etc. This is why when you look at a lot of people at this age, they're a bit more settled down on who they've become and there's more of a visibility of what their life is about. The sign you have here manifests as the vibe you give out. For example, a Cancer 9th house more or less has nurturing and maternal energy at this age. They have this motherly or homey vibe towards their expanded mental state in a way where they feel like they have a lot to teach and it comes from a compassionate perspective.

10th house - [35 to 42 years old]: Once you're at this age stage, you're pretty much at the peak of your life because this is when all that you are, where you come from (your roots and home), who you've established yourself as and everything you've worked for reaches its final stage and becomes the real end phase of who you are. Anyone who starts knowing you at this stage can navigate the type of person you are (from your past) and not have a reason to think you'll still change into new characters. There's nothing much to come up with after this as you're practically done creating yourself. All you do now is mainly enjoy the fruits of your labour whilst simultaneously working on the career you been building, and also maintain the public image you've established. Your authority, your power, and your achievements are at their peak here. So the sign you have here is how you show all of this.

11th house - [42 to 50 years old]: This is when you're growing old and out of your peak. You're still a valuable part of the world and play a good role in people's lives, but you're basically leaving that zone of only focusing on yourself and you instead focus more on helping the community or leaving a legacy. The 11th house is about humanitarianism, social/global awareness, the community, social groups, end goals, and the future as a whole. So as you're more focused on these things because you're at the age where there's nothing much else to do but help out and be a great member of society for your final years. The sign you have here though can determine how you act out in all these instances. Cause if you have a Sagittarius 11th house for example, then you could be quite youthful and lowkey a rebel against societal norms. So in you helping out the community, you let people to see this vision that's a different version of norms. Like normalizing stretch marks or bringing a new genre or idea of music or wearing clothes that are weird at first but end up being quirky and cool.

12th house - [50 years old to death]: And at this final age stage of life, you're about to transcend out of your body and purely to your soul, so your soul innately/naturally starts feeling connected to its end stage where it's about to retreat from the world. This could be through last acts of service to humanity, deep connections with spirituality, healing, contentment, confinement, self-reflection, understanding karma, and dreaming. These all occur the most once you get to this age. Depending on the sign you have in this sign, you could experience a deep or light transcendence when you get to this age stage.

BUT - huge disclaimer:

The ages vary according to the maturity of a person's life. So for example, for one person, Cancer is in their 6H but they only start developing into their Cancer age stage at 21. At 19 or 20 they still present their Gemini age stage, because everyone differs, including the maturity of their age stages. So they feel more Cancer at an older age.

So... it depends on your life.

But this is most of the route or path of life many people go through.

Also, I'm starting to believe and see that wherever Cancer is in your house is where you feel pretty maternal/paternal, or you're just really loving and caring towards the people around you.

And wherever Leo is in your houses is most likely your shining point or prime of your life; things work out for the best for you at that Age Stage.

For example, Beyonce has her 10th house in Cancer and right now she's pretty much experiencing her 10th house age stage cause we can see how she's pretty maternal and motherly. Cancer is also pretty emotional so we've seen that after the whole cheating saga, she released all her emotions through an entire album. And Angelina Jolie has Cancer in her 1st house, and like I said 'the sign you have in 1H is the sign you act as in your approach to life from the beginning to the end', we can see how she's always felt pretty maternal, so that's why she's grown to have a lot of children (by even adopting some).

Another example, Rihanna having Leo in her 5th house, that's when she was practically discovered (16). And Kim K, she has Leo in her 9th house and that was when she was at the peak of her fame, from 2013 onwards, when she was beginning her 30's. And Ariana Grande has Leo in her 8th house, which I'd say is the age stage she's in currently, considering how she's the female pop singer that's topping charts the most lately.

So, conclusively, this is why I'd really think Age Stage in the houses is a thing.

And if you are trying to understand why your life is going hella sad and boring for the past 4 or 5 years, try and look at the sign in which your Age Stage is at in the houses. Cause it could be Pisces, Scorpio, or Capricorn. [Their rulers] Saturn, Pluto and Neptune can bring tense and deep energy that can make life pretty hectic. But, there are also profection years, so you can look at those too.