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lampoest · 4 years

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by request from @yeessha

Mission Impossible Fallout Thoughts

Like before: cursing and spoilers !!

short logos nice !!

oop starts with lane talking, always a win 😼😼

why does lane have a beard in this dream?

ooh dramatic nice !!

probably one of my favorite openings

this is badass

hhh its my favorite anarchist:)))

ooh cool name

ofc it's about nuclear warfare why not ??

nervous benji = win

sjshsjsgs

that man reminds me of elon musk :\

cant tell if that was tryna be a pg way to say 'fuck off'

where dat money luther ✋🙄🙄

what was that scream !?!

*throws plutonium*

cool car

ooh the shadows on that guys face

man this scene is really good

BENJI STAY WITH THE FUCKING PLUTONIUM WHAT-

well shit-

oh hey that news guy

pulling a sneaky on him

i also love this scene sm

literally everything about the nils delbruuk scene

:0 so cool

benji got to wear a mask >:))))

sjshsjsgsjs they made a bet on it i love that

ethan is very cool

HELL YEAH THEME SONG !!

i can never take hunley seriously

ooh she pretty :))

this movie has great lines

i also love how it goes in depth about moral choices

WALKER YESS :)))))))))) HE SO PRETTY😳😳

also she pretty too :))))

i just realized why former presidents still are protected

i like how they curse more

bro why is walker so :)))))))

btw this is just gonna be me simping literally everyone

the height difference

HALO JUMP HALO JUMP HALO JUMP

ugh fuck off walker you may be pretty but replying with 'crystal' naw fam✋😬😬

yes because we can die

oop they be falling

i dont think that would work but ok if you say so

not even worth it

i couldnt tell what they were saying until i put on captions

although i dont need any captions to understand the french 😼😼

the faint beat in the background v cool

reflexes

breaking things

chekhovs gun

shdhgdhshdjdhdjs why-

dis why you use the needle

damn he beating the shit out of them

ooh its ilsa

ethan why-

ooh she pretty too 😳😳

alright uh badass female is great

that man reminds me of a toddler

strong accusation coming from a terrorist

shsjdgsjs he wearing arm pads like the toddler whos mom is overprotective

WALKER TOO PRETTY:)))))

oop change of plans

LANE LANE LANE LANE

YES MY MAN :))))))))))

motorcycle chase pog

BENJI IN SUSPENDERS BENJI IN SUSPENDERS !!!

well shit-

eyy he killed some dudes

again walker, no one cares

oh dang she has to be careful, her aim is not the best

R U N

vrrm vrrrm

LOVE THIS SCENE YES

you can tell ethan is trying so hard not to punch lane rn

dang lane really flipped the interrogation hats off man

also i lowkey agree with his message. not his method though-

oop pretty ladies

also ethan killed 4 of your men maam

telepathy

SKDHJSJSJSHS YES THIS SCENE LANE SO PRETTY :)))))))))

i love how lane is just standing there vibing while they talk to hunley

benji dont worry youre great

wait i just noticed that benji's outfit is so cool-

skdgdjshs

walker is cool tbh

ILSA !??

this seems awfully familiar

im working on it

its a trap !!!

benjis wtf face there

oop tea ????

im paying attention to outfits so i can recreate their styles

oop i love how it focuses on walker there

true true

sticking up for your friend

no hes just here because they needed more pretty men

waiting for a diversion

in because HE IS LARK MY GOD ETHAN

ALSO THE LITTLE HEAD NOD I CANT-

stole han solos line there

matching jackets😼😼

how did they swap them ??

and how did lane go along ??

chekhovs......knife ??

wow he really fell for it

also more cursing pog

my two favorite characters together :)))))

CHGJFGSJ I CHOKED ON MY WATER KESUS CRISP

....oop i done fucked up

hunley being all cool and shit

benji being all cool and shit

lanes look of dissapointment is 🤌🤌

like damn bro you fell for that !??

lark

he really tryna lie out of it

ooh her-

whyd he say that-

oop betrayal

i love how benji is the first to drop his weapon

so cool

yeah wait where the hell is lane ??

rip hunley

whyd they treat his death like the death of a lover or smth

first wedding crashers, then funeral crashers, what next ?? birth crashers ??

the most tom cruisey sequence ive ever seen. some comedy some crazy stunts and a broken ankle but still finishing the take

chair theft pog

also i love how not just in this scene but before you see helicopters flying around

hes just hanging onto the elevator and the look walker gives him is top notch

ooh blackmail

this feels like the glass box scene. his foes are getting away and there is nothing he can do

its mission impossible for a reason

tea time with luther

ilsa is a good friend

benji is the mvp here

dang im just realizing how pretty ethan is 😳😳

keep your eyes on the road

luther is great, this is all just a luther appreciation post

they-

they all just copied walker's beard

oh no its julia

ah yes one of the bombs

i like how it actually does take about 15 minutes

uhh no❤️ tom cruise why must you feel the need to do this

LANE :)))))

again why does he feel the need-

walker :)))))))

julia is pretty cool

hes just like: what the fuck how- why-

airspeed ah yes the most important part of not dying

this is a julia appreciation post

what was your plan after that? the detonator would just be at the bottom of that lake

the expressions walker makes :))))

hehe bitch

well shit he has a gun

his hair !!!!!

some star wars level action here

bro benji listen to ilsa

sjsgsjgsjsvsjs this shouldn't be so funny

bro ilsa listen to benji

benji stop wasting time

probably last time but, lane !!!!!

found the other bomb

very true statements from walker

other ? bomb ??

no personal space

ooh uhm lane maybe please dont-

the way he just pops his head into frame like: what the fuck was that ?

no sir you didn't survive that. that is false

i love how she clearly has the same fighting style as before

no benji no smooth brain move

mr lane do your shoes need shining ?!?

dey see me rollin-

ofc he gets burnt why the fuck not

uuuhm what✋😀😀 when the hot oil started spraying i felt a drop of what felt like hot oil on my finger. i am in my room and there isnt even water in here. im scared

also how tf is that holding his weight

chekhovs hook

team work makes the dream work

dang keep believing lane keep thinking that ✋🙄🙄

hes still pretty

so close oh no

why do things just magically stop at the edge of cliffs

kesus crisp ethan not again

i love his shoes though -

what if the hook missed though ??

esploded

thats a no from me dawg

his meniachal little smile shdgsjsgsj

its an action film he'll have it

aww lane so sad :((( oh yeah and 1/3 of the world is saved too. good job ig.

THEY PUT MY MAN IN A TRUNK NOOO >:000000

i like how they end as friends not as romantic interests. v nice

i love how this movie highlights the importance of friends but not in a childish way. even as adults friends are important. they are there for you when no one else did. i like that message.

alright thats pretty much it. sorry that its just me simping pretty much. in conclusion this is my favorite movie 14/10 but i can't wait for the 7th movie.

#mission impossible #benji dunn #solomon lane #ethan hunt #unfiltered thoughts #ilsa faust #august walker #luther stickell

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incorrecttwoset · 4 years

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IM-

youtube

ASDFGHJKL- WHAT THE FUCK YES

Im not sure if this warrants a lesson time but fUCK IT IMMA DO IT ANYWAYS

Lesson time with Dani?????

The lesson we all learned here today is... that Davie was nice enough to put in markers. For the vid. So I can judge it better. You win just this once bass... just this once...

Anyways, LETS LEARN SOME LESSONS BOIS

0:00, the beginning (of the end) of the war. This part of the vid was a small teaser of what'll happen later on in the vid and a somewhat biased recount of the war. I'm saying somewhat because i just woke up and this is the second video ive watched today, first one being metling metal with magnets. Nice Dani is very much alive in the mornings... only if given ample time to ready themselves for socializing. oKAY BACK TO THE TOPIC. So after this recount of events, Davie transitions it to section 2:04 of the video with the line "bass is better than violin". And speaking of top 10 things to say if you wanted to be smited down by Ling Ling, lets go to that part.

2:04, they gave up? (Lol nopes) This section starts off with Brett's wonderful voice sightreading rapping to Eddy's lofi beats. (But no srsly, if you watch the vid it becomes sO APPARENT that Brett didnt memorize his LINES AHAHAHA HE KEEPS LOOKING OF TO THE SIDE AND READING IM DYING WHAT A MOOD) Which then goes into the famous transition from movement teo to three with that famous "sIKE" that probably tricked like, at least half the people that viewed. I know i was lol. Also, Eddy calm down with that tongue. You'll decimate half the fandom. But... he probably already did. And speaking of decimation, lets move to the next part shall we?

2:50, phone call. Violin-chan's life flashes before their eyes, wondering how the fuck Davie will end her life with a pizza cutter wHEN SUDDENLY. Ring ring. The phone rings. He answers it. (If you get that reference i love you) Its the bOIS! Just in time for violin-chan too. (Also dear god tHOSE WIGGLY EYEBROWS. EDDY IM A BRETT STAN STOP IT) They then show off a taste of the fruits of 40 hours practice by showing how they got his number and fINALLY legitimately declare battle directly to him. They then goad him into actually proving his worth as an instrumentalist, all for Violin-chan's sake. And we FINALLY ENTER INTO THE INSTRUMENT BATTLE. This is all for you violin-chan, we love you babe.

3:40, battle. Dude. Lemme just say. If they release a vid or a track with just the music from the battle, i will get it and blast it into my earphones all the time. I swear. Also, yt commenter TheVorshevsky was nice enough to get the piece names and place them all in their respective order. So, we'll follow that along with my own, albeit little, knowledge of classical music. Thanks for the help dude!

Pre-movement 1, WA Mozart Rondo Alla Turca AKA Turkish March. This part is short and sweet as it serves as the opening to the rest of the four movement battle. It slightly shows us how the battle will work, with alterations between bass and violin when its musically pleasing. (Dat butt wiggle dow. So cute! Thank you for stealing back my heart Brett) Of course, thats not how the whole battle will go as we blast off into the actual 1st movement.

Movement 1, JS Bach Cello Suite No. 1 G Major. As this part goes on, we see them take th main theme which they played at the start, and slowly add in their own twists and variations to it. And by slowly, I mean immediately after playing the theme. It was basically unrecognizable at the end. And i love it. And Brett showing off his perfect pizz? Oh baby, IVE MISSED THAT SO MUCH. Also, i love how they just ever so casually bUSTED OUT THE ADVANCED TECHNIQUES. LIKE OKAY. FLEX.

Movement 2, Vivaldi Summer. Personally, this feels like more of an endurance test to me. Like, see who breaks first. It would judge it musically but after finally being (slightly) educated on calssical music, I've looked back at all the times I've heard Vivaldi Summer. And oH GOD, IT WAS RUINED FOR ME. Well, not completely but like- its like asking a world class pianist to play Fur Elise. I mean, it's a great piece but its so overused. My music senses did not tingle with glee at this part. Twas only a light hum. Like how it sounded like. No offense. But I did like the intensity it added to the battle. Very epico in that regard.

Movement 3, Beethoven Moonlight Sonata 1st Mvt. I'm still sHOOKT at how they transitioned it from the intense, heart racing, fiery tones of Vivaldi Summer to the calmer, more melancholic melody of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. Like hUH okay. Show off your arrangement skills. Also, is it just me or does the part after they introduce the main theme of the piece sound like the Twoset Concerto Battle??? Because, ive listened to that concerto battle for AGES and honey, i detect some concertos sneakin in this here battle. Also when Davie tried to take over with that simple yet sweet bassline which was complemented by Twoset's violin playing? Ohhhhh we sTAN. Do we stan Davie? Twoset? Both? I dont know, and i dont care because this is probably the best world war ever. And oH JEEZ WHEN EDDY TOOK THAT BASSLINE AND MADE IT HIS OWN WHILE BRETT BOUNCES HAPPILY IN THE CORNER? Ded. I would gush more about this part but we need room for movement 4 babey!!!

Movement 4, Paganini Caprice 24. When you thought that fighting two violin bois was easy but then you were wrong. AKA AnimeBassMe's rETURN. Fuckin hilarious i love it. Lowkey think that AnimeBassMe, Edwina, and Brettany would probably enjoy each other's company. Or ykno. Do the same instrument battle.

And finally, the thing we've all been dreading.

7:00, holy slapp. Not much to say really. Let's all gove a moment of silence for violin-chan. Wherever she is. At least she got to hear the EPIC music from this battle. And that Davie, on some level, respeccs the Twoset bois.

7:36, what happened to Violin-chan? Well, we can only hope that our bois in soft Twoset merch can save Violin-chan. (Also look at Brett's little run off screen im-)

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iris-ymir · 5 years

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Guilty or Innocent - Iris

Asked someone to marry you?

“No. Not mi thin’. The whole... damn idea about marriage and shite? I dunno. Like... spending rest or yer life with the same person? Absolutely! Its just... Dont get mi wrong here! But the whole mess about marriage, and such.. It sounds so damn artificial. Do I wanna live with someone for the rest of mi years? Sure! But I dont need a fockin’ ring to prove it to anyone.. Then again.. If someone was to ask mi to marry her? Yeah, why not? If ya want a damn ring, lets get a damn ring!”

Kissed one of your friends?

“Shite... Well, yeah. About that... I have kissed many of mi friends actually.. And let mi tell ya. It always ends up into a fockin’ mess. One way or another! I... guess I should stop kissin’ mi friends..?”

Danced on a table in a bar / tavern? “You.. happen to know what Im doin’ for livin’? Yeah. Basically that.”

Ever told a lie?

“Just show me a fockin’ person who has not, and I’ll show ya a bastard who’s lying right there, on dat very damn moment! We all lie... Some more than others, but thats not the point, righto?”

Had feelings for someone you can’t have?

“Yeah... Ya remember I just told ya about kissin’ mi friends and shite? Well dat. I messed up real good. Like... the royal mess up! I still have feelin’s for her... Could rip mi damn heart out for her... But I think she just might be lost for mi for good... Im not giving up though! But as thin’s are.. What happened between us... Heck. It might be a lost fockin’ cause.”

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?

“Im... so very much a bean flicker, ya know? Never had interest in opposite sex... Does dat answer yer question?”

Kissed a picture? "No? Seven hells, why would I be suckin’ on some damn piece of paper?”

Slept until 5pm? “Im a night owl.. I wake up sometime durin’ the afternoon. So yeah. I will sleep until 5pm, if you dont come and wake mi up. Which is fockin’ annyin’ by tha way.. Just let mi sleep..”

Worked at a fast food chain / restaurant “Nope.. And dont have a slightest interest in such! ...I would make a fockin’ horrible restaurant worker... Now this.. may sound rather miserable, but my current job is actually mi first real day job ever! ...Or well.. A night job? Anyway.. Yeah.”

Stolen something? “I would say... Try living on streets of fockin’ Limsa Lominsa for good 10 summers, and then... if yer still alive and kickin’, try asking yaself dat question! ...Yes. I have stolen for livin’.”

Been fired from a job? “As I mentioned just a moment ago, this is mi first day job ever... And I have been able to keep it so far! ... And Im about to keep it! I want to see the faces of every poor bastard, who ever said I could not get, let alone keep a job! And well... I actually kinda like mi job, so there’s also dat. And I get a decent money out of it.”

Done something you regret? “... Really? We need to go back to this again? I had.. a really bad week some time ago, ya know. I did.. lot of shite.. The whole thin’ is just.. so foggy in mi head, its annoyin’! But yeah. I think I almost slept with mi friend.. broke lot of stuff.. a damned heirloom notestand.. And in the end, I went and kissed another friend against her will... The... one I fockin’ love.. Damn, I miss her. But it was not mi damn fault!! I had just like the shittiest week ever! ... I dont know... Maybe some of it kinda was.. Can we just go on? I focked up, okai..?”

Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose? “Nnno. Cant remember such thin’. Sometimes a drink has gone like... into mi nose for one or another reason... But actually out of it? I dont think so. Then again, who am I to say! One just cant remember everythin’ ya know?”

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? “No, I have not. Tha Shrimp does it, so.. technically I have? But as miself? No. I have not. On purpose at least.”

Sat on a roof top? “Used to do that in Limsa Lominsa. It was.. an awfully calming feeling, ya know? To get away from all the shite, going on down on the streets. Just... sit alone, watch the ships getting loaded.. Watch them sailin’ away. I dont do it anymore though.. The roofs in Ishgard are fockin’ slippery.”

Kissed someone you shouldn’t have? Iris gives the other a long, dead stare. “... Fockin’ really?! Didn’t I just told ya dat. Ya want some heckin’ details?! Right! So, yes, I was wasted... I shouldn’t have to... And damn yes, it was foolish of mi! Silke. The gal I fancy.. Ya know the type that just... puts damn butterflies into yer tumtum.. rises yer head up to the fockin’ pink clouds faster than anythin’ ya can buy from the streets of Ul’dah.. A damn purdiful fockin’ lass... Damn best thin’ that ever happened to mi... And I focked it up by hecking going and kissing her! So... Ya happy with dis subject now, or are ya gonna poke dat infected wound some more? If so, Im done with dis...”

Sang in the shower?

“Ummm... No.”

Been pushed into a body of water with all your clothes on? “Pushed? I... dont think so! Thrown into water with mi clothes on though... Yes! And I tell ya now! That damn merchant had a heckin’ cart full of those apples! Most of dem would have gone on waste aniway! But nooo.. I get thrown into sea, for one damn apple! One apple!! And it was not even worth it. The apple was dry like Sagolii sand the merchant’s fockin’ muffin-hole was propably full of!”

Shaved your head? "Well, I did not!! Blacksoul did durin’ the time he fockin’ kept mi as his personal damn doll or somethin’.. So yeah! It is growin’ back now, but if it looks like a damn rake-raped crow’s arse to ya, its not my fault!!”

Made a boyfriend / girlfriend cry? “I... dont know, actually! Not during mi time with her, no. We kiinda only had a fleetin’ moment though, so did not ‘ave like... too much time to make the lass cry! ... I guess she still believes mi to be dead though. So its possible she cried for mi presumed death in the hands of her husband’s underlin’s... I hope she did... Yeah.”

Shot a gun? “I did, yeah! Ya know... One of those Ishgardian ones. Loud... lot of smoke... A decent kick. Kinda like a bar night to live for! You know, Im actually even rather decent with guns.. Not my style, though.”

Still loved someone you shouldn’t? “You gotta be kiddin’ me!! ... Oh wait. Someone I shouldn’t? I dont think so... Seven hells, we heckin’ belong together!! ...She has just... yet to understan it... She will! Sooner or later... Hopefully sooner. Fock’s sake, I miss that silly gal and her nice ass...”

Have / had a tattoo? “Yeah, the one around mi eyes. I also have another one on mi thigh... Iris flowers and thorns... Four of dem. For four kinda important people in mi life. From which, I have actually lost... every single one... Fock’s sake, whats wrong with mi?!”

Liked someone, but will never tell who? “Nno. I have... some difficulties in the ‘never tell’-thingie. Im more of a... ‘tell too much’-type o’ person. But ‘ey! Kinda honesty is a good thing, right?”

Been too honest? “If bein’ too ‘onest means kiinda colorin’ the truth a little to make it hit on the mark better. Yeah. I guess so. I just may overact a bit time to time! But den again... Makes the truth more interestin’ huh?”

Ruined a surprise? “No, I hardly part-take in suprises in general...”

Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? “Actually... No. I dont know!! Well, mi first girlfriend did, but did she totally mean what she said? Damn, I dont know... Considerin’ the fact she... most likely kinda sold mi out not too long after, it makes it heckin’ hard to believe anythin’ that ever crossed those sweet crimson lips of hers! I wonder why no-one has ever said it though... Im smokin’ hot!! ... So tell me. Am I beautiful..? Hm?”

Stalked someone? “If we call people watchin’ stalkin’ here, then Im damn guilty as a plague rat! But like... in the creepy wai? No! Why the heck would I do somethin’ like that. Dats just sick...”

Thought about murder? “If someone has just taken a royal shite on ya, sweet damn, thats reason enough to just shank the bastard, and scatter the innards into the sea! Most people are so fockin’ rotten though, I dunno if even damn fishies care for their foul organs... Could always make dem into a bagpipe and gift it to their family and friends... Maybe then they could actually get a taste of whut kinda shitebag they been hangin’ around with...”

How about mass murder?

“... Well, as dey say... Apple does not drop far from a tree, and sometimes those apples are rotten before dey hit the ground. So yeah. The last question in mind, why not?”

Cheated on someone? “No! Think anythin’ you want of mi, but Im fockin’ devoted!! ... Well, I have only had one relationship, that lasted for like... couple of months... But damn I was devoted... Up until she choose her husband over mi...”

Gotten so angry that you cried? “Happens time to time... Cryin’.. cleans the system, ya know. Just... Get into middle of nowhere, and scream yer lungs out!”

Tried to stay away from someone for their own good? “... Im kinda doin’ that right now. Dey will be better off without me. She’s got her damn hero dere, taking care of her... Where does she even need mi anyway? Heck, we barely even knew eachother... ... I think Im better off without dem too.. Shite.. Dey were awfully nice towards mi though.. Do I really miss dem? ... Maybe. But it all went down in flames and bloody sheets, can we talk about somethin’ else?”

Thoughts about suicide? “Sometimes the road just rises up against you... I kinda understand it on some occasions! But overall? Kinda waste...”

Had a girlfriend / boyfriend? “Yes? That one mess I mentioned earlier? Ya payin’ attention to dis?”

Gotten totally drunk during a holiday? “Used to... Especially in Limsa, it was kinda mi way to get over the holidays. Hated to see bastards walking around all merry and shite. So I drowned mi holidays in a glass. Last Starlight was different though.. Blacksoul kinda forced mi to stay sober over the holidays... Well.. Mostly sober... Dont ya go tellin’ the old goat, but I... I think I kinda liked it. The whole Starlight with Blacksoul and Gramps... I had never really celebrated it with anyone... As miself. Heck, I just wanted mi Silke to be there, heckin’ messin’ around... I wonder if she ever got mi gift...”

Tagged by wonderful @mai-takeda!! 🌹 This was lot of fun..

Tagging @umbralich (Silke) @sharkycatsifoh @hangedemperor @kyrie-silverwings @under-the-blood-moonlight @alun-ura @isuke-ejinn @ishgard @torr-sceadu @lydha-lran @glorysworn @lavender-hemlock @kazexvoss @glorified-thieves @captainkurosolaire @illia-ast @thefreelanceangel @sdavi-kitanni @kitsune-kirei @violet-warder @desimirffxiv @unatobajhiri @gildedandgolden @eo-sul @robyn-sawyer @eitur & anyone who wants to do it! Cansider yourself tagged!

#the Iris within #guilty or innocent #rp #viera

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autumn-foxfire · 4 years

Note

So like i think its important to acknowledge the context here for some of this. The context being that between chuuya being introduced and us getting chuuyas backstory its been A WHILE. Like for a good while i used to joke that they were really wasting chuuya cuz they had a fan favorite character who we had like no information and backstory on. Like i wanna say its been at least two years between chuuya introduction n backstory but honestly im terible with memory n even worse with time progression so all im gonna say for a very very long time the fandom didnt know shit about chuuyas backstory. The most we got in guild arc was the hint that kouyou was his mentor n of course that he n dazai formed the ace in mafias sleeve n for a long while that was pretty much it. Fans ran wild with that n everybody had their own headcanon n there were a lot of fics exploring his possible backstory. From him being a french (flashbacks to french chuuya era) immigrant/ child trafficked for his ability to him training to work in kouyous borthel (that was a popular headcanon for kouyou but i dont think it has any base in canon) until they discovered his ability and were like oooo this baby dangerous. My favorite was anything that included kouyou just picking up a half feral kid chuuya n being like ahhh im keeping this, mine now. Feral Chuuya gives me life n i still like to read about it. The point being when chuuyas backstory came out it was going to have to contend with A Lot of fan content some of which was really really good.

Anyway i dislike the whole oh there was a god shoved in him when he was a kid bit. I wont stick to this a lot cuz im honestly past the point 'ugh this is So stupid' n to the point 'i dislike it but i also dont really care' but ye, im not super big fan of throwing gods around so randomly cuz i feel bsd isnt really built with that in mind, n i considered that whole part a really boring explenation to corruption and eh, im not gonna pretend that the fanwork didnt influence me n that i might have liked it better if i didnt read so much speculative fanfiction cuz it really comes down to 'its not like in my headcanons so i hate it :/'n thats p much all there is to it n thats no fun to talk about.

I did like sheep parts tho loved dat.

No what im here to talk about is how KOUYOU GOT FUCKIN ROBBED. Like we barely get any chuuya kouyou interactions anyway despite her being shown as his mentor like how mori was to dazai n kouyou herself really only had time to shine with kyouka n like this was the perfect oportunity to explore her more. She was shown as chuuyas mentor from the start, she was included in every fanwork that included chuuyas backstory, if ur gonna do chuuyas backstory you need to have kouyou there she is his mentor after all

Nope nope what do we get instead

FUCKING RANDO SAN

LITERAL GUY NAMED RANDO

Like ok fine u needed a villain for the novel thats fine, make it the person who tried to grab chuuya out good good great BUT WHAT WAS ALL THAT SHIT ABOUT FUCKING RANDO SAN BEING THE ONE TO RECRUIT CHUUYA INTO MAFIA. WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT CHUUYAS FUCKING HAT BEING RANDOS, WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK WAS THAT SCENE OF CHUUYA SITTING ON HIS GRAVE LIKE FUCKIN DAZAI WITH ODA

WHAT THE FUCK

I will not stop yelling

Like honestly it made me so upset. I dont mind fucking rando san as a villain or whatever but i do mind him kinda being pushed into the spot of chuuyas mentor (whos kouyou) or recuiter (whos dazai) n him being tied into his character so significantly like the tradition of a mentor giving their student something is obvs a big thing in mafia what with dazais coat n all n it just made me so upset that chuuyas hat was given to him by some fuckass named rando n not kouyou. Or that rando seemed to impact him so much to be considered some sort of great influence when he p much just busted him out n then dazai did all the work. Like it just made me so upset that this random one but villain named literally rando was shoved as an important figure in a story of a character whos backstory we've been clamoring for so long when kouyou was literally right there like 'hi im here ready to be relevant forever.'

Like we already got a nice view of her with kyouka what with her wanting to protect kyouka but being willing to let her go wgen she sees thats the best for kyouka n that she will be happy n protected with the agency. Like i doubt she would be as protective with chuuya since their age difference is a lot smaller (4-5 years i think) so shed probs view him more as a friend or a younger brother than a literal child she has to protect but like i wanna see that i want them to have a bond, why hint at her being his mentor n then do nothing with it when mori is of such significance for dazai.

Like i think all this comes down to is obe of primary problems i had with bsd n one of the reasons i ended up growing tired with it: bsd really likes introducing new characters n new groups while at the same time doing very little with ones it already introduced if they arent like atsushi akutagawa dazai n sometimes kunikida n chuuya. N like that just gets boring after a bit i dont care about new evil group no 65 i care about the characters i already know so BLS DO THINGS WITH THEM BLS

...I’ll be honest, I didn’t notice that Kouyou was supposed to be Chuuya’s mentor. Did I just miss that in the anime or something? I didn’t know they had a bond at all.

As for Chuuya’s backstory, I also... didn’t really mind it either. I know the god part was a bit random but I also thought it was kind of fitting that Chuuya’s ability, or a part of it?, was born from something out of this world. It really does fit the “corruption” theme too, in my opinion, in the sense that his body has been corrupted by a god and it would also explain why his body isn’t able to handle the body too.

I also thought that the point of Rando being the one who “gave” Chuuya his hat was symbolism of Chuuya finding a piece of his past because of him and that’s why he visited his grave (almost as a silent thanks in a way). Plus I think it was another one of Dazai’s manipulation to get Chuuya into the Port Mafia, he knew he would never accept a belonging given to him by Dazai (he even pulled a face when he heard that Dazai, as his recruiter should be the one to give it) but when he learned it was Rando, a person who while had attacked him but had also helped him learn a tiny bit more about the god inside him, made accepting the hat more easier for him.

At least, that was my take on it.

I am a little disappointed myself about the lack of attention some characters have recieved compared to others (cough Kenji cough) and I wished they were given a little more, but I also understand why new criminal groups are introduced as bsd wants to draw a stalemate between the Agency and the Port Mafia.

I guess this a matter of different opinions XD

#bsd #thanks for the ask!!#thegaygyrus

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just-some-random-blogger · 5 years

Text

The Soup

Super Junior Super Junior x SuJuMaknae!Reader Characters: Super Junior (ot13 [+ SJ-M]) Summary: Just like the way you need to give someone soup when they're sick, this is how SuJu reacts when you need them. Word Count: 1k+ Warnings: CRACK, fluff, humor, gnarlyness, etc.

A/N: i need a pick me up so i made this. It’s low key a part 2 to Secrets Of A Maknae, but not really because, well, it’s not HAHAHHAHA, but hello @farewellkorosensei, i’m tagging you cos u said u wanted a part two and i had a part two in mind but then i lost it so now you have this HAHHAHHAHA im sorry im like this

ALSO A DISCLAIMER

THIS IS FICTION IF YALL somehow THOUGHT IT WASNT

none of this is real bro that’s why its an au ?????? ok like ok

Being the only girl in a coed group that’s basically a boy group is not as bad as one may think

Especially since you're the youngest out of everyone, some people just cannot imagine how you do it

Sure like... being the only female means the testosterone thrown your way can be a lot

And there are just some things the guys can't and will never understand

Like how a woman's mind works

But through it all however

You loved being the baby princess

Because you have 13 knights at your side

anD IF EVEN ONE PERSON TRIED TO HURT YOU WELL

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAH

good luck to them

And in case you were wondering, SuJu is not as sweet as you think

LIKE YES THEY’RE OBVIOUSLY THERE FOR EACH OTHER BUT

here's how each member would react to you needing them

ps yall

dis shiz is HELLLAAAA LONG SO it’s under the cut

Being the eldest meant Leeteuk found everyone as his responsibility

BOY ESPECIALLY IF THEY'RE NOT EVEN IN SUPER JUNIOR LAJSIQBSUHWBSLAIDYLAWUDLKHKK;

and to you, who is in his group, their youngest AND only female member, he would drop everything for

Everyone who's watched korean TV knows this

cos yall do tv show hostings togther

and everybody knows how soft he is around you

like i mean he’s naturally caring towards everyone

and he’s normally high-spirited with others

BUT YOU TAKE THE CAKE

like you + him equals shenanigans like firecrackers

he does 8999+ dad jokes when you’re his co-host

someone save s.korea

but let us not forget is is the EPITOME of gentleman

he always offers his arm to you

he takes of his jacket or gets a blanket for you to cover your legs when you sit

errbody is like “stfu, we get it stop flexing”

you two are just like “??????????????????? bro fLeXiNg whUAT?”

“i get yall are married n in love but like. pls keep it under wraps.”

“BROOOO HAHAHHAHAH WE’RE JUST FRIENDS”

and then ????????????

mmmmhmmmm

we believe you

cos its all we can do tho

and i mean you two aren’t married but are so too tbh

ELF’s call you two the parents of SuJu

and think you two are sO ADORABLE IT HURTS

anyway

He is definitely the most understanding with you through the age gap you have

And even if he finds some of your actions odd due to that age gap, he always works through it and tries to think proactively

"What are you doing????????"

"IM DOING A CHALLENGE OPPA YOU WANNA JOIN?!" you say as you attempt to put on makeup with your non-dominant hand

THE AMOUNT OF TIMES HE'S WALKED INTO YOU DOING SOMETHING WEIRD IS BEYOND FATHOM

But if you need him

He.

Will.

Be.

There.

Doesn't matter if he's hosting 287378 tv shows at the moment

If you call because some loser broke your heart

He's taking the day off

If you call just to check in and he hears even a hint of sickness in your voice

biTCH MOVE OVER. HE GOT SOME PORRIDGE

He would take care of you even if he was also sick

He would find a way to go to you even if you were halfway across the world

You cant even get mad @ him cos you will and have done the same woops

IF SOMEONE EVEN TEST U YOU WILL BREAK THEM 4 LEETEUK

and obvi we have to add

his dog Shimkung prolly loves you more than him, just sayin

She runs to you and ignores Leeteuk when youre around

Because she loves playing with you

And she loves your energy

And the attention you give her

And the treats you bring

And because everyone loves you

And Leeteuk cant even because he loves you too

Woooooops

Yall listen up

If you think heechul is scary by himself

Try bringing up SuJu's maknae up

I dare you

Just mention your name

and he WILLLLLL EXPLODE

Doesnt matter if it's praise

He Will BE TRIGGGGGEERREEDD

there’s literally an entire 20 (and going) part video comp. of his ears steaming when you’re brought up

like the mere thought of you is already to set him off

It doesn't even phase him if the person who spoke of you is younger or older

The death threats he will sputter is limitless

his tongue is sharper than silver

And the deadliest death glare that's thrown may cause a heart attack.

strangely enough though

but knowing heechul, not strange enough

he is ALWAYS THE FIRST to throw you under the bus

during interviews

ESPECIALLY IF THEY’RE LIVE I CANT

and yall always bicker about the dumbest shit

everyone is like, “wait, they’re not the ones that are married?”

the answer is no

but honestly,

He's broken up with someone because of you

Because they were mean to you, i mean

And because he was tired of them too hekhek

and lyk Heechul may be short

But nothing is stopping him from getting into a fist fight with someone 1000+ ft taller than him.

Ok.

That may be a slight lie cos he'd prolly call the rest of the guys and 5672 security guards to be on his side.

would honestly fite anyone for you

any AND everyone to be honest

He's also very picky with your boyfriends

"Ya, he looks like a womanizer."

"Ya, he looks like an idiot."

"Ya, he smells like woman's perfume."

"Ya, he smells like cigarettes."

"Ya, I don't understand what you see in him."

"Ya, I can't believe you're wasting your time with him."

"Ya, why are your standards so low when you know a guy like me?"

"Ya,"

"Ya."

"YA!"

"You can do better."

and you’re kinda just like, “y dont u just look for a guy for me? or better yet, if you think you’re so great, why don’t you just date me?”

“pshhhh, as if, i’m too pretty for you, child”

is what heechul always says

to you and to everyone who asks why you aren’t dating

he also does’t ever answer your calls

cos he’s always too busy with his video games or selfies

so you get really frustrated when you call him to come over and he doesn’t call

but like

he’s somehow already at your house

????

cos you needed him and he knew that

????

idek either bro

he has a sixth sense with ya gurl

HE IS SUCH A DAD TOO

***NOT DADDY

DAD BECAUse

he will baby the heck out of you every moment he gets

but not in public cos his image

also he’s never one to flaunt even with his personality

he CUDDDLESSSS THE HECK out of you

and kinda makes himself clingy for the sake of endorphins

cos he is your happy pill

and your go to man when the world just sucks hard

he gives pretty solid advice

like the ones where you really need some

because he’s never one to sugar coat and will tell you youre a bitch if you are being one

and because of how he is, when he gets soft with you, you know he means it because he’s a broken brick most of the time

he’s also who you normally vent out your problems and burning frustrations to

not that he listens

you mostly just assault him and he takes it

JOKE HE ASSAULTS YOU RIGHT BACK

but somehow that’s therapeutic for both of you ???

smdh

i’d add heechul’s pets

BUT THAT BOY HAS A ZOO

and maybe i’m just shimkung biased lolol

ANYWAY the gist of you and his pets is that you love them and they love you

the end

bro

don’t even get me started on yesung

you know how he likes to think he’s all that

how he’s like really good at singin

wHICH HE IS UHM HAVE YOU NO EARS

but he’s like actin all airy sometimes

whICH IS Y u and eunhyuk havE A BALL MESSIN WITH HIM

EUNHYUK + U = YESUNG CANNOT LIVE

someone save Yesung from his retarded dongsaengs

lol but eunhyuk comes later

anyway, he’s airy

that side of him comes in handy 4 u

because he makes for a gr8 hypeman

letz be real

SUPER JUNIOR together is the loudest bunch of morons that will hYPE YOU DO YOUR DEATH

but you cant keep havin that when you go to award shows

YOU TRIED IT ONCE AND EVERYONE WAS LIKE AWW DATS CUTE

IT’S FKIN NOT BITSH

try havin your ears pierced with screaming every time you’re even remotely related to what the host is talking about

anyway back to yesung

he be your date to eveything

cos he ALWAYS has time to be all that

i mean you bring specific members to the specific events they fit into

u’ll understand laterz

but mostly yesung is your man for the job

cause he’s always available

you know when he’s not touring or holding concerts

whenever you need a date

he puts on all his extra accessories and offers you his arm on the red carpet

or just holds your hand cause it’s easier on his part

AND BOY HE’S ANNOYINGLY LOUD FOR YOU THE ENTIRE TIME

IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTer if it’s for some black suit event

he’s prOLLY GON BUST A MOVE and promote SJ’s black suit while he’s at it what a turd

he’s so loud in fact that you’ve reached a point past embarrassment

ur like, “Yeah, he’s my loud date. problem?”

honestly, yall have to be dumb not to see how in love you two are

there are theories on how you two ARE the one true pair

like the way yesung looks at you when you’re striking a pose

answering a question

thanking someone

receiving an award

laughing at a joke

existing in general

and you RIGHT BACK @ him

only an idiot would

but haha

nope.

just friends too

Y U ALWAYZ LYIN

ye but itz trueeeeee

no matter how fancy you get

or domestic

cos did i mention you two do the lamest things too

like there is no in between

you go buy groceries

tour Gangnam

hand in hand obviously, duh, you do it every time you’re together

as with every member of super junior but yall already knew

i think i strayed too far from my point

point is he’s there to hang out and do nothing

cos thats what both of you are good for anyway

nothing

btw he’s who you bring shopping for clothes

but only like the nice kind you feel me

you’ll get that in a little while too

but like you always go to high-end stores together

never couture tho cos why ??

and YOU GUYS DO MAKEUP TUTORIALS BECAUSE OMG HE’S SUCH A VAIN AND LIKES TO PRETEND HE CAN ACTUALLY DO MAKEUP UGH I HATE HIM

he’s the one you treat like your diary mostly

the everyday stress you have piled up he’s the one you sift through with

like you tell him all the mundane things

and he’d nod uninterested

and then you’d stop cuz you realiized he doens’t care

and then he’d get mad and be all like “Ya, why’d you stop, what happened to the leaf you kicked?”

i think imma stop here cos you get it

yall good for nothing HAHAHH

you and kangin get into the stickiest shit every time your crackheads team up

and being the loyal one you are

you always point and blame him when things hit the fan

and he’s always like “Me?”

and then points right back at you

you’re reactions to each other are fandom memes fml

and you’d think with all the treachery you pull on each other you would never be able to count on Kangin

but that is so DAMN FAR from the truth

cos this boy is insufferably thoughtful when it comes to you

his favoritism shows

like he’ll sell super junior for a 1 cent

BUT YOU ARE NOT PART OF THAT DEAL

he’s usually the one that shoos the guys off when they’ll all up on your ass

he’s also the one to kick heechul when he gets too annoying

or anyone in general

He’s usually your partner in crime when it comes to screwing up SJ’s image

and you havE THIS SIGNATURE ESCAPE ROUTINE WHEN THINGS GO SIDEWAYS

“it wasn’T ME!” you both shout, and then you jump on Kangin’s back and he runs away.

and yes there is also a compilation of you morons doing that for 15 minutes straight in multiple languages

dumb shit

he’s not as big as teasing you as Heechul

but he usually calls you ugly, that’s who you are to him

if you’re texting someone, it’s usually him

you send him ideas for a prank or sm shit

and he’s like imma do you one better

and then you just burn SM to the group bwahahaHAHAHAHAHAHHA

kidding

not kidding

you guys dont actually get to hang out often

but wHen you do there is a warning signal

and idek y yall pretend to be pranking someone else

but yall end up stabbin each other anyway

But there is also those times when you just cry

and he’s there to listen

he’s not as understanding as his hyungs, cos Leeteuk knows what to do, Heechul knows what to say, and Yesung knows how to remember the important things

but he is always there

he tells you as much as he can

and he aint dumb he can say a lot

but he’ll mostly just try to brighten up your day

by telling you a plan to attack one of the members

ANDDDDDDD

PIGGY BACK RIDES

as ive mentioned before, you jump on his back when you skedaddle out of the scene you just caused

which have caused an uproar from many

your company mostly has to fend off rumors of you and him being together the second most

youll find out who soon enough

but back to you an Kangin

he usually offers to give you a piggy back ride

even tho he doesn’t really want to

when you’re down

cos u smol child like to be carried

ew grow up sis

BTW HE WILL FITE ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU THAT

dats all i got fam

you and Shindong work the third most together outside super junior

dats obviously behind Leeteuk

and #2 who will be revealed later

and actually, you two have a very serious and business-like mindset when you’re together

which is why his skillz fly when you collab

you have youtube channel together that’s just u two posting vids you guys want to do

yall fund it urselvs and get some of ur friends to join in

WHICH FANS, ELF AND OTHERWISE LOVE

that’s why you normally go to him when you need help with work

meaning if you’re unsure if you should do a drama he’s going to lay down the points 4 u

he usually acts like your manager

and visits you the most when you’re on set

he’s who de-stresses you when you’re working

and the one who you can count on to back you up when someone at work needs to have a little piece of your mind

he’s who you call up when you want to share an idea or a vision

and is the one to more than others root for you and help you all throughout

whenever works stresses you out,

you two do something fun together

watch a film

annoy one of the other members

etc

you call him up when you have a crazy idea

you call him up when you have a song or plot in mind

you call him up when you are in need of advice

though sometimes his advice is to go to leeteuk or heechul

cos he knows he has limits

which is why you love him

because he’s real and never pretends to know more than he does

with that said though, he does know a lot

and will tell you all he knows about whatever it is you are asking about

you guys do a lot of live streams as well

sometimes its pointless

sometimes its intorspective

but most times its pointless af

and most times yesung is crying in the distant not-so-distant background

cos like i said yall hangout the most

so sometimes shindong gets into the mix

and you do the weirdest shiz in front of camera

the amount of role plays you’ve done that made viewers go ???? is uncountable smh

like like

where you’re an astronaut

and you need to tell the emperor of goryeo he’s going to be assassinated

and then yesung is the emperor’s horse

and yall die of laughter

or that time yall kissed “by accident”

and none of yall were surprised

and everyoNE WAS LIKE I KNEW IT

and you both ended up laughing

and then everyone was like? >?????

?????

idek either tbh

or that one time you were a cake

as in a chocolate cake

running away from an orge

which was yesung

and shindong was the exterminator that kept hitting him with a pillow whenever he’d talk

i cant believe

you think yesung’s had enough with you and eunhyuk

speaking of...

eunhyuk + u is quite like u + kangin

ppl pray for you to get separated

like pls

and then when you add DONGHAE

the world wants to implode and delete itself

eunhyuk is your usually your fake boyfriend

joke, he’s the fake love triangle interest

you’ll get that later

anyWAY

you say all the time every time you get the chance to that the reason why you dance half as good as you do now is because of eunhyuk

you make his ego fly through the roof

and he’s always like

dawwwww stop

no keep going

which is why if for whatever reason you need a dancer or a choreographer or anything between those lines

you call eunhyuk

or jung yunho but that’s not the point

point is the world explodes when there is a sexy suju concept

because you and eunhyuk are always paried up

the flexibility and coordination of your bodies

leaves the world thirsty

eunhyuk is pregnant because of you

Dem body rolls

Shimi-shimi

The dehydration is real

you two just do something in sync

AND THE WorLD canNOT

EVEN IF YOU DID IT BY ACCIDENT

and surprise even both of you

the world cannot

whenever you do a show together they make you do so many dances

cant blame them tho, u two be bomb

point is he’s normally your dance partner in almost everything super junior

and 73% not super junior

but beyond that he is also your bestest buddy

and since it’s a package deal, most of the time donghae is there

yall do everything from wacky antics

to window shopping

to roller coaster riding

to just lying around talking about life

actually, yall pranked the world by saying your were going out once

and thE WORLD BLEW UP

HOW FKING DARE

WE KNEW IT ASHKSDHASDHA

but then yall were like “oh we be playin yall”

EVERYONE WAS SO MAD

LIKE YALL EVEN HAD THE MEMBERS BELIEVING

DONGHAE CRIED BECAUSE HE FELT SO BETRAYED THAT HE DIDNT KNOW

HEECHUL CALLED BULL THO

BUT EVERYONE WAS HELLLLLLA MAD BOUT THIS

When you went sikE Leeteuk wasnt surprised

and everyone gave you shit for so long

Ryeowook vowed to kill both of you

kangin thought it was pretty good though

Eunhyuk and you normally go to parties together

and because you are a d U M b fking drunk

he’s always the one who cleans up after you

because you vomit

and cry

and try to kiss everyone

which is why you have safely kissed everyone in super junior when you're wasted

eunhyuk especially

there are pics to prove it

but eunhyuk doesn;t mind

he’d rather be kissed by your vomit flavored mouth than have some ho try to do something to you

he gets really unsettled when other guys come into the picture

he’ll karate chop A morOn

DARE HIM I SWEAR

ya think he be small

but he be strong

those dance moves are his weapon

KA PAW BISH

and we def cant end this without saying

he makes you hangover soup

and all that jazz

when you wanna work out or feel sick

you call eunhyuk

i mean leeteuk loves you but you cant move an inch with that boy

so its eunhyuk

unless you wanna be lazy and need a mom (so leeteuk)

honestly i cheated with that lord almighty part

ARG IM SO SORYY IDEK WHY I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY WHEN I LOVE EUNHYUK SO MUCH

ZHOUMI IS THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE

OR AT LEAST YOU SAY EVERYTIME YOU GET WHEN YOU SEE HIM

which you wish would be a lot more than not

IF you have anything to do in China

it’s zhoumi everyday

he’s who taught you how to speak the language and the one who makes fun of you the most because of your prononciation

but you know obviously its all in good fun

you host some shows together

youve stared in a bunch of chinese mini dramas together

but most of all, you two do a bunch of variety

which people LOVE SO MUCH

liiiiiiiiiike

if you werent so busy with the rest of the world

china would love to keep you for themselves

but anyway back to zhoumi

as i said he be the love of your life

because he’s literally everything you look for in a guy

tall, handsome, smart even though he does DUMB THINGS I CANT BE--

but the only reason why you’re not dating him is

IS BECAUSE YOU ARENT

I have no explaination

you are dating though

like outwardly

it’s like an unspoken thing

where you are dating but youre not and everyone around you agrees

???

kinda

yeh

with all the chinese variety you’ve done

yall have pretty questionable photos and footage together

why is you hand in his mouth

why are you two in one pair of trousers

why are you crying over literal eggshells

why are you laughing at him dressed up in a suit

why is he making heart eyes at you when you;re wearing clown makeup

why is he making heart eyes in general

why are you making heart eyes in general

idk man

what

waht

idek

but what you do know is this

there’s this entire ten page article about how he punch some rich guy in shanghai that tried to get too close and zhoumi threw a punch

yes

out of all the boys in the band who’s said they’d punch a moron on the nose

zhoumi as actually the only one who has had the displeasure of doing just that

It was quite the talk of the town

Honestly many were scared for zhoumi

U and him counted

and the rich moron even threatened to sue

but you pointed out that there was footage in the place and that he’d lose so he should just walk away

of course he walked away

and so yeah

but obviously the sonavbish tried to get rid of any footage

And make it look like an assault

It was to be like an even bigger scandal

but you being a smart bitch that has starred in many dramas with the exact same plot already had a copy and so you won that battle

and zhoumi ‘s career was not ruined

he was even hailed a hero for all the no duh reasons

Yeah he can throw a punch

zhoumi is so soft for you though

and you for him

he’s usually the one who takes your mind off of things

but you hang out the least out of everyone due to sched differences

that doesn’t mean you dont make time for each other though

OKAY NOW FOR EVERYONE’S FAVORITE BB DONGHAE

donghae that knows all your secrets

knows all your dog stories

all your accidental injuries

all your fails

all your successes

it may take a few moments to jump start and access his mental archive

but its there

and Donghae has been your boyfriend on many many occasions

whether or not it be fake or real the world will never know

you guys are the most intimate with each other

like you guys are so casual

and comfortable

that Leeteuk tells you guys off

HeechUL GETS UNCOMFOTABLE

h e e c h u l

even suju separates you on their own will sometimes

and both of you are like

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

donghae is a certified soft boi

and his softness is amplified when you’re together

PDA is second nature to you two

many hand holds

many cuddles

many suggles

platonic?

... sure

and it doesn’t matter where you two are

public

private

interview

korea

japan

america

narnia

nothing stops you from being touchy

people ask you about it all the time

but once again

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway donghae is the go to guy for heart to heart conversations

because he has a heart of gold

the softest purest gold

and he really understands and empathizes

he cries with you over dog movies

and listens to your frustrations

and you listen to him cry

and talk about his feelings

FEELINGS

and you tie it all up by making each other smile

he actually gives really good advice

i mean they all do give good advice at a point

but donghae’s are actually quite on point

even though people think he’s slow

it’s probably because he’s once connected at the hip to you

he’s the one you talk to about boy problems and relationship problems

because he’s the only one that isn’t weirded out about the topic

i mean he’s got a soft spot of you

plus hes really caring

so he’ll listen to whatever topic you want to talk about anyway

he’s really the only who, like, pays attention to all your babbling

most of them tend to overlook that

but never donghae

he’s the guy you call in the middle of the night when you cant sleep

it’s not guaranteed he’ll pick up because i mean duh he has a life

but when he does he really listens

except for when he doesnt

cos he’s tired

and on top of being a cuddly living diary

he’s also your personal massager

like you know those knots on your shoulder

what knots on your shoulders

he massages them away because

youre his ultimate weakness

when you need him he’ll be there in a heartbeat, racing leeteuk to get to you

although he’s not as motherly as leeteuk

he’s more of a brother really

like he is motherly

he does baby you

I MEAN THEY ALL BABY YOU YOU’re THE MAKNAE DUH

but

i can

no actually

i cant explain

because i got nothing

AGAIN WHICH IS FRUSTRATING BECAUSE I LOVE DONGHAE

DHADJ:ASD

YOU AND SIWON ARE THE POWER COUPLE EVERYONE WISHES THEY COULD BE

yall do the most goals things ever

and end up posting it on insta like the aesthetic things you are

he’s the guy you call when you wanna go out and tour

and you guessed it

he’s the second person in super junior you work most with out of the group

can you imagine the power you two hold in dramas

sometimes you do cameos in his shows

sometimes its the other way around

YOU TWO ARE ACTUALLY THE ONLY ONES WITH FOOTAGE OF KISSING

honestly it was a make out but you know

donghae’s fine

Siwon and you travel a lot

in a small scale sense where you just go around on a food trip

or going on a short vacation to another country

dont tell the others tho

YOU DO CHARITIES TOGETHER

and its honestly the cutest thing ever like siwon and his charities ad;hkasd

you two have this meme where its just a compilation of you two lauging

cos yall get WEIRD when you laugh together

your laugh is weird in general

and super junior is weird in general

but you and siwon laughing is just weirder

Whenever you have to go somewhere where you think youre going to die because of the formality

you bring siwon along because he’s the most businessman looking out of everyone

plus he holds a rich man aura

because he is

haha

honestly he should just buy SM wtf

He is also the one you go to for advice

because sometimes crying with donghae isn’t really the way you want to go

he’s normally your outside opinion guy

when you normally have a course of action already in your head

but youre just not sure how to go

he gives solid points

and he’s quite firm with his answers

when you need him he doesn’t come as quick as leeteuk or donghae

but he’s the one who leaves last

because he’s just thorough like that

like if you have a mental break down

he’ll come when he can and make sure to make extra time for you

because he wants to both make it up to you and make sure you’re alright

also

i should add

that on top of being very aesthetic together with your black tie events and whatnot

yall make post memes of each other often on your own accounts SO MUCH

ELFs dig it

iconic really

ryeowook actually hates you

he hates you because you have such a beautiful voic

he hates that youre pretty

he hates that youre talented

HE HATES THE COMPETITION

but it is also what completes him

It adds to his purpose in life

To cruSh u

N remind u who is butter

yall bicker the most out of everyone

yall raise your voices at each other the most

you always attack each other

AND SOMETIMES KYUHYUN PITS YOU TWO TOGETHER AND

it’s too much to handle

but when you catch on that you’re being played

You and ryeowook teamup

AND KYUHYUN PAYS

EVERYONE THAT CROSSES YOU PAYS

BWHAHAHAHAAHHA

the sass is real when you’re together

THE AMOUNT OF SHADE you throw

makes both of your skin visibly darker to a point

he’s mostly the one to call you out when you and kangin are doing something dumb

or when you and donghae start getting cuddly

or when you just show your face to him

because yes he hates you

BUT

if he hears anyone say anything REMOTELY BAD ABOUT YOU

he wILL attacK

if he thinKS SOMEONE’s BEING TOO sarcASTIC

HE WILL CUT THEM

because only HE can be mean to you

which is why they actually think you’re dating

pipe the HECK down if you have something to say

and the feeling is mutual for you

if anyone says anything bad about ryeowook OR ANY OF YOUR BOYS

they’re dead

cold

but sometimes both of you hate super junior together

and theres a bunch of videos of you questioning why you’re both still here

when he’s not hating you though

he’s violently supporting you

VIOLENTLY

have you heard this man scream

HE SCREAMS HIGHER THAN ANY FEMALE FAN COULD

and LOUDER

if you’re doing something live

heS ONLY THERE TO SCREAM FOR YOU

then he’s out

him and yesung are on a roll when you get an award

and on your live performances

theres normally a cut scene to him in the crowd holding a big ass sign that says something mean

like I HOPE YOU TRIP in bold letters

but in fine print is continues IN SUCCESS AND GOOD HEALTH

cheeeeeeeeeezzzzyyyyyy

but that’s ryeowook for ya

Everyone's confused how you are able to be so violent and mean

But also so cheesily soft

Honestly u just weird

And so is ryeowook

when you need advice he fights you first

"How could you be so dumb to have a problem like that"

then,he'll tell you what to do

If he can, he fights your problem

and then solves it for you that way

Thats how it is, violently soft hek

So serious

ANYWAY KYUHYUN ALSO HATES YOU

DUH

but unlike ryeowook he sometimes actually make people end up wondering if youre dating

Cause ryeowook and u be mean but not so lovey dovey

But you and kyuhyun are mean and lovey dovey

he makes sure you suffer

suffer in embarrassment in live television

and will do everything in his power to get you and ryeowook to stab each other

but if you squint hard enough

he acts hella whipped for you to be pretty damn honest

anyone with a brain can put together that he’s basically like a child

a child being mean to his crush because he doesn’t know what to do

EW FEELINGS

but yall know what

even though ya both be also killing each other

THE BALLADS YOU GUYS HAVE

I cannnnOt even

is OFF THE CHARTS TEAR JERKING

any drama that has been blessed with your vocals

----i meaaaan-----

your song can save any drama

becAUSE

and yall do a lot of live performances together

uhm did I mention you’re basically part of the sub-unit KRY

actuallY JK nvm, it’s you and kyuhyun alone actually

just you and him

hitting those notes like no other

AnD theN theRE was This incident

that you had to perform in on a live awardshow

BUT you Got INTO an aCCIDENT

but like a vocal accident

as in you lost your voice

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED

kyuhyun covered for you duh

because even if he wants you to suffer in public

he wants it to be by his hand

and not because you ended up getting sick suddenly

I do have to say he’s not very reliable tbh

for the sole reason he wishes to be the true maknae and to desTROY U

yes

that

and EW FEELINGs

“are you sure you hate her though” -literally everyone

“YES!” kyuhyun would answer without missing a beat

“seem like bull by ok”

THE MEMES YOU TWO HAVE AS WELL

THE MEMES

the there can only be one

i would’ve killed you if the lights were closed

excuse you, trash

i sarangHATE U Bitch

boi i cant wtf am i doin

and again

i cannot stress enough that kyuhyun wants your death by his hand

so if someone else comes for you

he’s going to attack that person more than they have you

whenever people ask him about you to, he gets all protective and scary

in summarry, he wants death but not really

yikes

heNRY IS THE WORST

he’s the only one who actually treats you like youre a child

wtf

like you two are the closest in age

the audacity

the nerve

i cant believe

he literally pulls the Oppa card

every

frikin

wHeRE

LISTEN BOI SHE BE GROWN

he literally holds your hand when you cross the street

he asks you if you’ve eaten

he coddles you, especially around others

he brings you juice on set if ever you appear on the same show

LieK

he’s so embarrassing

he be actin as if he’z ya dad

liIKEEE

get a grip

but as embarrassing as he is

he is also your best friend

and he talks fondly about you everywhere

literally never talks shit about you

unless its true tho lololo

and for real is probably literally in love with you

but is like “I’m her older brother tho so”

acts like an older brother 23/6

and the remaining time like a sweet and ExTreMely embarrassing boyfriend

will do anything for you to be honest

YOU TWO GO ABROAD TOGETHER A LOT AND ARE GOALS

if you and kyuhyun do lame things

YOU AND HENRY LIVE IT UP

yall do weird shit online too

and yall have done questionable things on variety

korean

chinese

wherever

which is why you’ve hosted a variety special before

IT WAS ICONIC

if you ever feel down

or sad

or angry

or frustrated

henry is the guy to call to be reminded of the brighter things

like THIS BOY IS ACTUAL SUNSHINE HELP

nothing is impossible or gloomy with henry

and yall thrive in all the crack-ish things you do together

yes

end

73 notes · View notes

woildismyerster · 6 years

Note

Can you write anything with davey? I love how you characterize him!

Y/N: i need a favor

Davey: Sure, what’s up?

Y/N: you just agreed. no backing out now

Davey: Y/N.

Y/N: meet me behind the school

Y/N: bring a box

“Davey is my best friend,” you cooed into your arms. “If you like me, you’ll like him by proxy. Probably. Hopefully.”

To say that liking you was the same as liking Davey was a stretch, but Davey was winsome. He would be fine as long as he didn’t do anything stupid.

“And there he is,” you said, grinning at him while he approached. His eyes were already on what you were holding. “The life of the party. The VIP. The man of the—”

“That’s a cat,” Davey said, voice going up at the end as though it was a question.

“Well spotted.”

“It looks dead,” he said, nothing questioning about it.

“It isn’t.”

It did look it, though. The kitten was small, patchy, and buzzing with flies. If it hadn’t been walking when you found it, you probably would have assumed the same thing. It had settled into your arms without too much of a fuss, which was probably a universal sign that this was supposed to be the Salem to your Sabrina Spellman.

Davey looked at you, then at the box. “You can’t seriously want to keep that thing.”

You balked. “Somebody has to take care of it. Why not me?”

“Because your parents don’t want ‘anymore living things’ in their house,” he pointed out. “Because you have nowhere to hide a cat, especially if it needs special care.”

“You already agreed to help,” you said with a grin. “No take-backs.”

“You’re the devil.”

“Irrelevant.”

He groaned. “My parents will kill me.”

“Suitable. A life for a life.” You held the cat out to him, hoping that maybe there was a scrap of empathy in him somewhere. “C’mon, Davey. The cat needs help. I’ll do all the work; I just need a place for him to stay.”

“You can’t do all the work,” Davey said, “when it’s at my house.”

“I’ll come over all the time,” you said eagerly. “So much you’ll get tired of me.”

“That’s ridiculous,” he said, a strange look on his face. Maybe it was suspicion. Maybe he was just thinking it through, imagining how he’d have to change his schedule to fit this in. “I could never get tired of you.”

“Please?”

“I don’t even like cats,” he said, defeated. He held out the box so you could settle the kitten in.

“You don’t have to like cats—just the one,” you said, scooping up the box and setting off toward Davey’s apartment.

Davey: If I touch him, I’ll probably get a horrible disease and die.

Y/N: dont touch him then

Davey: This is all on you.

“I feel like a mom,” you crooned.

“The mom of a gremlin, maybe,” Davey said. He’d locked the cat in a cage, both for his own sake and the cat’s. He’d read online that the cat needed a chance to get used to it’s surroundings, so he’d been trying to help it chill out in private. “Or like the queen that gave birth to the Minotaur.”

“Don’t talk about your son that way.”

He snorted. “Believe me, I’d remember fathering this beast.”

You winked at him, and he went a little pink.

“Not like that, you cretin.” He sat on the floor with you in front of the cage, crossing his legs. “We could always give him to a shelter, you know. To people who know what they’re doing.”

“We’ll take him to the vet tomorrow, and we’ll know what we’re doing after that.”

He sighed. “You want to keep him.”

“Of course I do. He’s perfect.”

“He has fleas.”

“He has feelings too, Dave, so watch your mouth.” You bumped your shoulder against his to soften the words, and he bumped back. “I want him. There’s no good reason; I just do. Please help.”

“Sure, sure. You know I will,” he sighed.

You grinned, laying your head against his shoulder. “Isn’t our son beautiful?”

“If you say so, dear,” he said. After a second, he laid his cheek against your head. Even through your hair, you could feel how warm his skin was. Maybe it was just warm in the room.

You weren’t sure there had ever been so many people in Davey’s room before, but cats were a siren call that no rational human could ignore. None of your friends were rational—aside from Davey, perhaps, but even he had succumbed.

“We took him to the vet,” he told anybody within earshot. “They gave us a food plan, and he has roundworm—”

“You’re killing the magic, Dave,” Jack said. “Don’t.”

It had taken a few days for the kitten to get comfortable in his new home, and even longer to reach a point where he didn’t lose his mind around new people. Your squad had been hankering to see him for ages, but Davey had been adamant about keeping the stressors to a minimum.

“I dunno, guys,” Elmer said. “I just watched The Haunting of Hill House, and you saw what happened to the kittens they took in—”

“We aren’t kids,” you said. “Between Davey and I, we can keep one cat alive. The vet mapped it all out.”

“There are probably other scary movies with bad cats,” Race said. He grinned, running his fingers along the length of the cat’s head. “Look out, Davey, the end of days is near.”

“The Black Cat, by Edgar Allan Poe,” Romeo said.

“Lucifer,” Albert said. “‘Cinderella’ didn’t play around.”

“Mrs. Norris,” Crutchie said. He hadn’t stopped smiling since he first saw the cat, and the cat seemed to like Crutchie just as much. No surprise there.

“Or,” you cut in, shooting a sidelong glance at an exhausted Davey, “this cat is gonna be like Crookshanks. That’d be pretty cool.”

“Not gonna lie, Y/N,” Davey whispered later. “This is harder than I expected.”

You grimaced. You’d trust Davey with a cat before anybody else, but you’d never intended to inconvenience him. “I can ask somebody else to hang onto him, if you want.”

“No,” Davey said hurriedly. “No, it’s fine, I’ve got it. I just hadn’t realized how much that would take, before.”

“I could come over more,” you offered. “Bribe you with snacks.”

He smiled, shooting a look at the shoelace the kitten was chewing. “That would be nice.”

You grinned back, warming up to the idea. It was always nice coming to Davey’s house. There was always good food, and anyplace with Davey obviously had good company. “You really will get tired of me, now.”

“Impossible,” he said.

Cat NAME POLL RESULTS:

Muffin Man - 2 votes

Name him Davey so we can replace Davey Jacobs with a better model - 8 votes

Jean Ralphio - 4 votes

Dat Ho - 7 votes

Wilson (Jesus, guys, a normal name) - 1 votes

Tom Hanks - 2 votes

“We aren’t naming the cat ‘Davey,’” Davey the Human said.

“That attitude is exactly why we wanted to get rid of you in the first place,” Race said.

“Use the second place name.”

You grinned. “You know, I thought that ‘Dat Ho’ had a nice ring to it.”

Davey’s glare was withering. “I should stop hanging out with you guys. How hard could it possibly be to pick a nice name? I’m even willing to use a pun at this point.”

Davey the Cat walked across Race’s backpack, claws scritching against the fabric. He slipped, hit the floor, and proceeded to act as though nothing had happened.

“He even looks a little like you,” you said. “Fitting to share a name, isn’t it?”

Race threw an arm over Davey’s shoulders. “It’s a compliment. Bask in it.”

Les sometimes sent you pictures of Davey with the cat. They would read together, or Davey would stay up two hours later than usual because he didn’t dare wake the cat up by standing.

You took a screenshot every single time. After a while, you started setting them as lockscreens on your phone. You had no good explanation when people asked about it.

“Y/N?” Davey rubbed his thumb over his lip while he looked at the chess board. “Are you going to the fridge?”

“Yeah.”

“If you get some cheese, you can give a little to the cat.”

You grinned. “You give him cheese?”

“Davey the Cat loves cheese,” he said, shrugging. “Might as well let him treat himself.”

“You’ve gone soft,” you said. The cat was sitting on the table, looking at that game board with as much interest as Davey was. Seeing it made you feel a little soft, too.

“I still don’t like cats,” he said.

“Just the one, huh?”

Davey said nothing. He rubbed the cat’s head, and the cat leaned into the touch.

You showed Jack and Race a picture of Davey with the cat, waiting for their faces to light up. They smiled, but didn’t seem as taken with it as you were.

“I was surprised when Davey took the cat,” Jack commented on the way to class. “He’s so whipped.”

“What do you mean?”

“Whipped,” Race said, dragging out the word. “You know, when somebody does absolutely anything their lover says. Davey’d jump off a cliff if you smiled at him while you asked him to. Actually, letting the cat in his house is probably crazier than that.”

“Davey isn’t whipped,” you said. “He’s just nice.”

“So’s Crutchie, and he would have at least asked his parents before saying yes.”

“Jack, Davey is your best friend. You know that he doesn’t do anything if he doesn’t think it’s a good idea,” you said.

“Of course it seemed like a good idea. You told him you’d hang out with him more if he did what you asked.”

You cringed. “I didn’t say it like that. He wanted the cat.”

“Davey didn’t want the cat,” Jack snorted.

“He literally told you that he doesn’t like cats,” Race said. “You need to listen better.”

You scowled at them. “Davey wouldn’t have taken Davey the Cat in if he didn’t sort of want him, a little bit.”

“He didn’t want the cat,” Jack said, as though you would only understand him if he spoke slowly. “He just wanted to make you happy.”

“I call BS.”

Jack put his hands on your shoulders. “Listen to me. Davey thinks you’re great, and wants to make all of your dreams come true, yada yada yada. You needed help with the cat. He could help with the cat. That’s all there is to it.”

“Please,” you said. “This is Davey we’re talking about.”

“Exactly. Why would Davey do something if he didn’t want to? Because what you wanted mattered more than what he wanted. It isn’t rocket science.”

It sure felt like rocket science. Actually, rocket science would probably have made more sense.

So, maybe had taken in a cat because you asked him to. That wasn’t so crazy, right?

It was a little crazy.

The real problem, the big thing that plagued your mind for days, was the guilt. You should never have asked him in the first place. When he hadn’t seemed interested, you should have backed off. Here he was, stuck with a cat, because he maybe sort of probably would have done anything to make you happy.

You called Jack one night, hoping that talking about it without seeing him might make it easier to ask questions.

“Has he ever told you that he liked me?”

“No,” Jack said immediately. “Davey’s not really like that, you know. He’s not really chatty, and he really doesn’t tell people things if he doesn’t want everybody knowing them.”

You knew that, of course. “What makes you think that he did this because he’s whipped, then?”

“Y/N, don’t be an idiot. You have eyes. You know how he is. If he didn’t want the cat, it was for you. If he had you come over to help, it was because he wanted you over. He can take care of a cat on his own. He likes you.”

You hugged your pillow. “Okay.”

Jack yawned. “Is that it? Can I go to bed?”

“One more question. Why did I ask Davey to take the cat in the first place? I knew that Davey didn’t really like cats.”

“Don’t get mad at me for saying so,” Jack said, “but we all assumed that it was because you like Davey back.”

“Oh.”

“Looks, it’s just—it’s always the two of you. It always has been. I’m not saying that you guys can’t be regular friends, but I’m not sure that either of you would be good at that. Not with each other.”

“Davey,” you said.

“Y/N.” He carefully peeled his string cheese to each strip was around the same size.

“You don’t have to keep Davey the Cat anymore,” you said. “Crutchie offered to take him on.”

Davey blinked at you, surprised. His hands dropped a little, his snack forgotten. “Oh.”

“You didn’t want him,” you said.

“I know.”

“Now things can go back to normal.” You didn’t want Davey to be unhappy because he thought it was better for you. You weren’t sure what to think of Davey liking you—or the possibility (certainty) that you liked him back—but you could try to make life easier for him, at the very least. “You can have evenings to yourself again, now that I won’t be coming around.”

“Oh,” Davey repeated. There was no emotion on his face at all.

You grinned, a little too large to be real. “You were probably getting tired of me, after all.”

“I wasn’t,” he croaked. The emotion was there now, and you wished you’d talked to him before talking to Crutchie. “I really wasn’t.”

“You’ll be happier once everything is back the way it was,” you tried.

“I’m not sure that’s true.”

You winced. “Look, I know that this was all for me. You don’t have to do this anymore.”

He went a little pink. “That’s ridiculous.”

“I talked to Jack—”

“Never listen to Jack. He’s had too much paint water to drink to be sane”

You half smiled. “Maybe, but he knows you pretty well.”

“No,” Davey said.

“Yes.”

“Maybe.”

“So,” you continued, “I’m going to make this right.”

“I want the cat,” Davey said forcefully.

“What?”

“I want the cat. I like the way my life is, now. I like Davey the Cat. I like having you over. I like that I’m your lockscreen, and I like coparenting, and I like—”

You kissed him, and everything else was far away. Sure, you were conscious of everything happening around you. You heard his food hit the floor. You heard cars honking outside, and the light tapping of rain against the window. You were aware of many things, but none of them mattered as much as Davey’s hands going to your waist, or the sharp inhale right before he started kissing you back.

“I, ah, really like coparenting with you,” you said after pulling back.

Davey smiled, baffled. “Okay.”

“I’ll tell Crutchie that you’ve changed your mind about the cat.”

“Okay,” he said again. His hands were still on your sides. “What—why’d you—”

“I’m just not tired of you yet,” you said.

Davey was grinning, still confused but incredibly happy. “I’m so confused right now.”

You kissed him again. That would illuminate some things.

TAG LIST:

@bencookisagod, @albertdasillva, @broadwayandbookblog, @races-erster, @simplyvictoria-93, @theapexpredatorr, @paigedapotato

#Newsies #newsies fanfiction #newsies x reader #davey jacobs #davey x reader #davey jacobs x reader #Ally writes

251 notes · View notes

reallyautomaticvoid · 6 years

Text

Calling It: Where's the Beer, Replacement?

Character: Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Bart Allen

Summary: Jason stops by to have a beer. Tim is not prepared for this.

Warning: some angst, swearing, reference to alcohol

Thump.

Tim groans and nestles deeper into his pillow. His bed is warm. The world is cold. He’s not getting up unless there is an alien invasion. Even that is a coin toss.

“Normal,” an overly chipper voice bore into Tim’s skull, “I’m all for you sleeping. Especially when you’ve been up for a week straight and don’t think we don’t know about that, dumbass.” A being leans close to Tim’s ear, “we have eyes everywhere.”

Tim snarls, pulling a pillow over his head. “Fuck off, Bart.”

“Any other day, I would, fuck knows you need the sleep, but unfortunately, today isn’t your lucky day.”

Bart pulls Tim’s blanket off of him before stealing his pillow. Tim blinks at the sudden bright light and cold air.

Glaring at Bart, Tim shivers. “What?”

“Okay, so, you know how you love me and stuff?”

“Not at the moment, no.” Tim tries to snatch his cooling blankets from Bart, but speedsters.

“Okay, great. You know how you want the Tower to stay standing?”

Tim’s eye’s narrow. “What?”

Instead of answering Tim’s question, Bart took the opportunity to pick Tim up (Bridal style because Bart’s an ass sometimes) and speeding them from Tim’s room to the kitchen.

“Get him out of my kitchen, or I’m calling Con,” Bart mutters in Tim’s ear before running off. Probably to call Con.

Tim blinks at the back of a person, in a leather jacket, who was digging through the fridge. The only two people in the Tower are him and Bart.

So, who the hell is digging through their fridge?

And why the hell didn’t any of the Tower’s security go off?

Clearing his throat, Tim watches, as the person—man—didn’t jump. Or flinch. Or stop his search of the fridge.

Instead, the man turns to arch a brow at Tim.

Jason—Jason fucking Todd— was digging through his fridge.

“Replacement.” Jason turns back to the fridge. “Where the hell is your beer?”

“Beer? What are you talking about? How the hell did you get passed security?”

“Dont’ worry about it and yeah, beer. You know, the stuff ya drink.” Jason pulls out a container of what was Thai food. Popping the lid before sniffing it, Jason jerks back his head. “Whoo, what the fuck is this?”

“Pad Thai. Jason, what the hell are you doing here?”

Wrinkling his nose, Jason says, “This is not Pad Thai. This is a new life.” Turing, Jason dumps the Pad Thai in the trash. “I’m lookin’ for a beer.”

Sighing, Tim says, “you came to Titans Tower to look for a beer? Jason, there are liquor stores in Gotham. So, really, what are you doing here?”

This time when Jason turns to face Tim, he closes the refrigerator. “I’m here checking on ya, Replacement.”

Tim stares at Jason who stares right back.

Fifteen seconds. Jason blinks.

Thirty seconds. Tim twitches.

One minute. Jason scratches his nose.

“No, seriously, Jason. Why are you here?”

“What? You think I can’t worry aboutcha and that I’d come by and check on ya?”

“I think it’s more likely your here for the beer. Do you need intel or something? Because I’m busy.”

Jason snorts. “Yeah, I can tell. Nice boxers by the way. I like the little hearts.”

Blushing, Tim looks down because, yeah, he is in his boxer shorts. Just his boxer shorts. The ones with the little hearts all over them with little cuties sayings all over like XOXOXO and BEE mine written all over them.

He’s going to kill Bart.

Slowly.

“No, asshat. I don’t need anything. Ya missed your last two call-ins and haven’t answer any my emails.” Jason looks Tim up and down. “You don’t look dead so what the fuck?”

“I’m almost nineteen, Jason. I don’t check-in anymore.”

“I’m twenty-one. What the fuck does our age have ta do with checken’ in?”

“I don’t check-in with the Bats anymore. I’m not their responsibility.”

Jason stares at Tim for a moment before cackling. “Oh, please, please let me be there when you tell Bruce this. Or, better yet, Dick, let me be there when you tell Dick.”

Tim controls the flinch that threats to overtake him when Jason says this.

“Jason. I haven’t check because they don’t care anymore. I’m just the IT guy or an extra body for when the apocalyptic is threatening to blow shit up. They don’t care anymore.”

The more Tim says, the more Jason looked pissed.

Great.

“Since when has dis been a thing, Replacement?” Jason’s voice was low and dangerous and all Red Hood. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Since Dick kicked me out as Robin without so much as a good job kid, we’ll be seeing you around. Since Damian had come out in his Robin uniform without Tim getting so much as a ‘hey, heads up, this thing is happening now’. Since Damian had made it clear that there wasn’t any room at the Manor for him anymore. Since I brought Bruce back and I didn’t get so much as thanks for the assist, kid.

Since he was flying without a net.

“Since I became Red Robin.”

Jason sucks at his teeth, sizing Tim up.

Tim’s muscles began to tense. Tim took a half step back, subtly trying to get into a fighting position just in case.

Jason clicks his tongue at Tim. “No need for that, Replace—Tim. Really,” Jason rolls his eyes at Tim’s cocked eyebrow, “we’re not gonna fight.”

“Really?” Disbelief dripping from every pore in Tim’s body.

“Really, Tim.” Jason’s voice is warm and soft; the tone normally reveres for hurt young children. Not one of Red Hood (Jason’s) normal tones. Not a tone for Tim. “I’m not gunna hurtcha, kid.”

Right.

“I’m not,” Jason repeats causing Tim to jump, wondering if he said it out loud. “Nah, kid, yer just easy to read. Remember, I did quite a bit of time studying you.”

“You were trying to kill me.”

“Semantics. Besides, that’s how I show I care.” Jason cracks a grin and Tim, to his great surprise, is suppressing one himself.

“Next time, I’m fine with flowers.”

“Not chocolate too?”

“Nah, I cut sweets out of my diet last year. It’s not good for you, you know.”

Jason snorts. “Nether is vigilantism. Gunna give dat up too?”

“Never,” Red replies.

“Cool dat. Now, listen, Tim: I wantcha to check in with me every now and then.”

“I don’t need—” Tim starts, but Jason cuts him off.

“I know you don’t need to, Replacement, but I wantcha to. I’ll take a ‘not dead’ every month or so, ‘cause really, I know ya can handle your own business but since ya help me out last month with pit visit,” Tim flinches at the memory of trying (and somehow succeeding) in talking Jason off that very murdery ledge. Nobody (including Jay) wanted a revisit from that Red Hood; the one that would shoot you as soon as help you.

Jason clears his throat. “Anyways, I’m…concerned about your welling being now.” Jason wouldn’t meet Tim’s calculating gaze now.

He could mean it. Jason could really be holding out this olive branch. Tim wants to believe in him. Wants to believe in his Robin. Wants to believe in that. But his gut on the other hand—

“Are we going to hug now?” Tim lightly asks, trying to breaking the tension. “Because, I gotta warn you, I’m not much a hugger.”

Jason snorts. “Hell, no, Replacement. I’d say we should drink beer, but you don’t have any.”

“Jason, I’m eighteen.”

“So?”

“It’s not legal for me to drink in California at eighteen.”

“Again, so?”

“Or to own alcohol.”

“Didn’t Bruce teach ya to make fake IDs?”

“Not for buying alcohol.”

“Aren’t Garth and Raven over twenty-one anyways?”

Tim splutters. “I mean, yes, technically.”

By this point, Jason has a massive shit-eating grin that Tim has ever seen on his face. Or anybody else's face.

“Replacement, I’ve seen the movies. I know what eighteen-year-olds get up ta. And do you honestly expect me ta believe that a much of Metas—who regularly fight to prevent the end of the world can’t get their hands on some booze?”

And Jason—Jason fucking Todd—just stares at Tim.

And—fuck.

Sighing, Tim finally relents. “There’s some PVR in the meat drawer.”

"PVR? Shit, Replacement, I thought you had class."

Thanks for reading!

AO3 link here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18140963

#Tim Drake #Jason Todd #Bart Allen #swearing #reference to alcohol #angst #brotherly bonding #one shot #dick grayson (mentioned)#Bruce Wayne (mentioned)#tim drake is red robin #Tim Drake-centric #jason todd is red hood

24 notes · View notes

low-budget-mulan · 6 years

Note

1-155

This is going to be long. So it’s going under.

1: Full name

Sara [REDACTED]2: Age

22 1/23: 3 Fears

Caterpillars, rolly pollies, idk?4: 3 things I love

my niece, my job, my friends5: 4 turns on

nice, caring, strong, able to cook6: 4 turns off

any of the guys I have been in relationships with lol7: My best friend

I have many. Brandon, kelsey, renee8: Sexual orientation

straight 9: My best first date

I mean. All my first dates were ok? Like the last 2 guys I dated I had a lot of fun. We ate and laughed and talked about memes. 10: How tall am I

5 ft 6 in11: What do I miss

My niece12: What time were I born

*was idk like 2 pm?

13: Favourite color

purple14: Do I have a crush

nah fam. Aint nobody got time for dat 15: Favourite quote

”be not afraid” 16: Favourite place

Mammoth/june mountain, disneyland, yosemite17: Favourite food

My grandma’s cooking. Always. 18: Do I use sarcasm

Nooooo. Why would I do that (i was being sarcastic. And yes) 19: What am I listening to right now

Slime rancher home screen music 20: First thing I notice in new person

face21: Shoe size

1222: Eye color

brown23: Hair color

^24: Favourite style of clothing

hobo with a job 25: Ever done a prank call?

yes27: Meaning behind my URL

brandon insulted me. I agreed

28: Favourite movie

Totoro, book of life, home, Christopher Robin29: Favourite song

idk??30: Favourite band

WAL31: How I feel right now

Sleepy after getting off a 38 hour shift32: Someone I love

My niece33: My current relationship status

Married to my job I guess. 34: My relationship with my parents

There is one at least35: Favourite holiday

CHRISTMAS36: Tattoos and piercing i have

Be not afraid on my arm. No piercings 37: Tattoos and piercing i want

Verso L’Alto, and some others38: The reason I joined Tumblr

neighbor made me one

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

I don’t hate him. I am hurt. But he decided to not want to be friends at all. I would have still loved to be friends with him, even though we didn’t work out. 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

no41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

My cousin? no

42: When did I last hold hands?

idk? many moons ago 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

depends if I shower. If I shower then 30 mins. If not then 10

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

No I don’t have to shave my legs. 45: Where am I right now?

in bed46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

My friend renee. But I have never been drunk before because I am not a lightweight and I also know how to say no. Why would I intentionally want to make myself sick. 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

depends where I am and how I am feeling

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

yes, because I make minimum wage as a first responder and can’t afford to live on my own. 49: Am I excited for anything?

Not being on night shift anymore XD currently dying from it and need a break.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

Brandito51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

Whenever a patient or random person starts creeping on me. 52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

I hugged My niece so many times today 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

I would tell him to go away. But like that’s just because I am mad at him. He can kiss whoever he wants. I don’t care. I don’t own him. He is his own person. 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

My friend Sam 55: What is something I disliked about today?

not sleeping all day 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

idk?57: What do I think about most?

My niece and how much I miss her. and wanting to move out 58: What’s my strangest talent?

I don’t have any 59: Do I have any strange phobias?

caterpillars and rolly pollies 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind 61: What was the last lie I told?

idk? Probably something I said to a patient? 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

online63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

no64: Do I believe in magic?

no65: Do I believe in luck?

no66: What’s the weather like right now?

sunny 7767: What was the last book I’ve read?

Emerald Dodge’s battlecry Series. 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

makes my physically sick69: Do I have any nicknames?

Low Budget Mulan, Sa’a, Scara, Hoe70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

uhhhhhh My back? and also my wrists and neck. But this is all from work and having to lift heavy patients. 71: Do I spend money or save it?

both. But I need to start saving more

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

yea73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

bubble gum tape

74: Favourite animal?

idk75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

working.76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

doesnt have one 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

idk78: How can you win my heart?

memes, food, money79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

”guess I’ll Die”80: What is my favorite word?

idk81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

i don’t have any 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

Ambulances are not a taxi service and your stubbed toes are not emergencies. Pay first responders more. 83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not that I know of. 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

super sarcasm probably? idk? flight? invisibility? super strength?85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

this one 86: What is my current desktop picture?

default picture87: Had sex?

no, just waffles88: Bought condoms?

no89: Gotten pregnant?

no90: Failed a class?

many91: Kissed a boy?

yes92: Kissed a girl?

no93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

cant remember94: Had job?

many95: Left the house without my wallet?

yep96: Bullied someone on the internet?

just my sister97: Had sex in public?

no, just waffles98: Played on a sports team?

yes99: Smoked weed?

no100: Did drugs?

crack is wack101: Smoked cigarettes?

ew no102: Drank alcohol?

heck yea103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

no I dont hate myself104: Been overweight?

yes105: Been underweight?

no106: Been to a wedding?

yes107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

yes108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

yes109: Been outside my home country?

yes110: Gotten my heart broken?

ye111: Been to a professional sports game?

I’ve worked them 112: Broken a bone?

yes113: Cut myself?

yes114: Been to prom?

no115: Been in airplane?

yes116: Fly by helicopter?

no117: What concerts have I been to?

Many118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

no119: Learned another language?

pig latin120: Wore make up?

ye121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

no122: Had oral sex?

ew no 123: Dyed my hair?

yes124: Voted in a presidential election?

yes125: Rode in an ambulance?

Bruh. I work in one. I drive that bitch126: Had a surgery?

yes127: Met someone famous?

Many famous sports people and some others 128: Stalked someone on a social network?

every day 129: Peed outside?

yes130: Been fishing?

yes131: Helped with charity?

yes132: Been rejected by a crush?

no because I never make the first move. And I never tell someone I like them unless they have said they liked me first 133: Broken a mirror?

lol ye134: What do I want for birthday?

money135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

many. Idk?136: Was I named after anyone?

no137: Do I like my handwriting?

sometimes138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

furby and my doll139: Favourite Tv Show?

idk140: Where do I want to live when older?

yosemite, june mountain, mammoth, japan 141: Play any musical instrument?

no142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

on my hand, My mom poured hot caramel on me. 143: Favourite pizza toping?

pepperoni144: Am I afraid of the dark?

no145: Am I afraid of heights?

no146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

no 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

My whole life148: What I’m really bad at

everything149: What my greatest achievments are

nothing150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

some stuff my mom has said 151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

move out and buy a house and save the rest 152: What do I like about myself

nothing 153: My closest Tumblr friend

brandito and kelsey 154: Something I fantasise about

having a family 155: Any question you’d like?

rood

3 notes · View notes

balancedpluto · 6 years

Note

All arcana asks ;)

I hate u so much Hayden. Putting it under a read more cuz HECK this is a lot. Also u can clearly tell Rose is my most fleshed out apprentice lmao. U can also tell when I started to burn out lol. THIS TOOK ME ALL DAY HECK

1. Name? Surname?Rose LaFontaineAaron (???)Lyra (???)

2. Any Family?Rose: she has a sister who’s 10 years older than her named Yvette, she’s a pirate. And her mother still lives in Fantasy France.Aaron: SO MANYLyra:….she doesn’t like to talk about it

3.Any Familiar?Rose: A bull mastiff named Mika who can change in size (so she can fit in a pocket or be the size of a horse, at her will)Aaron: A bearded dragon named Sir Slappy Skiddaddly the Third Lyra: A cute little rat named Pixie

4.Asra, Nadia, or Julian?Rose: JulianAaron: AsraLyra: Nadia

5. Best strength in magic?Rose: IllusionsAaron: Fire magic. Anyone who follows Eereree saw this coming.Lyra: the creation and manipulation of light

6. Favorite color?Rose: Maroon or light pink Aaron: Red. Surprise surprise Lyra: Purple

7. Favorite number?Rose: 69Aaron: 420Lyra: HOW DID YOU TWO ANSWER THAT SO FAST??? Uhh, 7?

8. Sexuality?Rose: BiAaron: PanLyra: Lesbian

9. Weird hobby?Rose: not really weird so much as unexpected for her, but she likes to sew and knit.Aaron: Weed lmaoLyra: Buying books but never actually getting around to reading them.

10. Favorite season?Rose: SpringAaron: FallLyra: Spring as well

11. Favorite weather?Rose: Sunny, but not hot.Aaron: Thunderstorms Lyra: Drizzly

12. Favorite place in Vesuvia?Rose: The Raven, or Mazelinka’s place. She loves that lady like she was her own grandmother.Aaron: The market. That pumpkin bread thoLyra: The palace library

13. How does their laughter sound like?Rose: Sober, its a soft almost teasing giggle. Drunk, loud cackling. Both are very charming in their own way.Aaron: LOUDLyra: giggling and soft snorting

14. How do they look like when they cry?Rose: She doesn’t cry often so when she does its…a lot. Loud gross sobbing often accompanied by yelling. Its not pretty.Aaron: Ghibli tears. You can’t convince me otherwise.Lyra: A lot of sniffling

15. What do they like to wear?Rose: Long dresses/skirts with low cut tops. Her brests are her best asset and she’s gonna show em whether you like it or not.Aaron: Tits out. That’s all u need to know.Lyra: Long, modest cut dresses with a corset. Very simple, but she always looke nice.

16. What are their fears?Rose: Fears? Don’t know her. (Actually death, which is…ironic considering the circumstances)Aaron: Abandonment. And cockroaches.Lyra: Rejection. The dark.

17. What do they like to do Friday night?Rose: put on fancy lingerie, get wasted, and play card games.Aaron: Blaze it lmaoLyra: (cuddling with Nadia) Reading

18. Do they use makeup?Yes. All 3 of them.

19. Favorite food?Rose: Mama LaFontaine’s crepesAaron: Spicy Vegetarian ChiliLyra: Cookies (technically not FOOD, but sweets are her big weakness)

20. Favorite drink?Rose: Rosé wine. Sounds redundant considering her name, but thats why she likes it. Growing up she thought it was named after her.Aaron: Just water, surprisingly.Lyra: Green tea

21. Zodiac sign?Rose: CancerAaron: Cancer Lyra: Aquarius(I dont care i have two apprentices that are the same sign leave me alone)

22. Day of birth?Honestly haven’t even thought if that lmao

23. Favorite movie?Rose: Heathers. She loves a bad bitch movie.Aaron: Shrek. Lyra: Not really a movie person tbh. She likes Disney stuff tho.

24. Favorite music genre?Rose: Classic rock or indie. Also has an interest in things involving old or obscure instruments.Aaron: Pop PunkLyra: Soft indie or video game soundtracks

25. Favorite song?Rose: Over the Hills and Far Away- Patty GurdyAaron: It’s Never Sunny in South Philadelphia-The Wonder YearsLyra: Youth- Daughter

26. Favorite TV show?Rose: Likes to watch cooking shows cuz its usually the only thing good onAaron: Doesn’t really do TVLyra: Also not really into TV, will put on like, QVC or something for background noise tho (im guilty of this)

27. What is their style?Rose: Like i said before. Long skirt, tits OUT.Aaron: Lazy but somehow manages to look hot? How does he do that???Lyra: Simple and modest, but always in pretty colors.

28. Any mental health issues?Rose: She has some anger issues, along with a tendency to bottle everything upAaron: hrrhgghh i haven’t gotten that deep with him WHOOPSLyra: Really bad anxiety

29. Any health issues in general?Not really?

30. Are they human?Yeah….or are they dancer?

31. Favorite book?Rose: She honestly can’t remember the last time she had time to read for fun.Aaron: Wtf is a book lolLyra: Don’t make her choose for the love of god

32. Favorite book genre?The person writing these questions assumes I know books lmao

33. Favorite time of the day?Rose: SunsetAaron: Early afternoonLyra: Like, really early morning. My sweet child why are you awake this early

34. If they weren’t a magician, who would they be?Rose: A pirate like her sister. Unless this is meant as like a modern AU then she’d probably sew and knit cute things and sell them online.Aaron: Probably a video game youtuber tbhLyra: Not much different, only she’d run a little mom and pop knick knack/ book store instead of a magic shop

35. Do they believe in ghosts?Yeah

36. Do they believe in aliens?Kind of?

37. Do they like sports?What is this…sport you speak of?

38. How do they look like?Sexy

Rose:

Aaron:

Lyra:

(art by @willowwish64 )

39. What is their biggest motivation to solve the Lucio’s killer mystery?Rose: To clear Julian’s name Aaron: To make sure it wasn’t him and he just doesn’t remember. I mean…fire is kinda his thing, so…Lyra: To put Nadia’s mind at ease

40. What do they think of Lucio so far?Rose: “He’s an asshole.”Aaron: “Goatman! Fuck you, goatman!”Lyra: “I can never look at a goat again without feeling terrified”

41. What do they think of Nadia so far?Rose: “She’s the kind of woman I strive to be. I have so much respect for her.”Aaron: “A smart, capable woman. Also really hot like wowie.”Lyra: “She’s so amazing and so beautiful and i don’t know why she likes me so much, I’m so dull compared to her and-” (this can go on for hours)

42. What do they think of Asra so far?Rose: “A great friend and mentor. I’d do anything for him.”Aaron: “He’s like…a human sheep…but really skinny…imagine hugging cotton candy filled with bones…its amazing. Also dat ass.” (He loves him but he’s bad at serious answers)Lyra: “A close friend to whom i owe my life”

43. What do they think of Julian so far?Rose: “Oh, Julian. How do i begin to describe how i feel about him? I’ve never met someone who’s so smart and witty yet so dumb? And he’d do anything for you but doesn’t think he deserves the same, even though he does. And, well, i could go on but the long and the short of it is, I love that idiot.”

Aaron: “He’s like a taller, hotter version of me AND IM SO PISSED”Lyra: “he sure is…something”

44. What do they think of Portia so far?Rose: “My future sister in law???? I love her so much! ”Aaron: “She’s…so small…my god im surrounded by small people”Lyra: “She’s so lovely!! She’s like my best friend!”

45. What do they think of Muriel so far?Rose: “He…doesn’t like to talk much does he? And he’s so…TALL. Makes you wonder about…things.”Aaron: “Him big. ”Lyra: “He…kind of scares me a bit? ”

46. Do they like animals?OF COURSE

47. Are they allergic to anything?Nope

48. Do they have any talents (except magic)?Rose: Again, she’s really good at sewing/knittingAaron: He can lick his elbow. And he shows off his “skill” to everyone. Charming i know.Lyra: She’s really good with animals

49. Do they get drunk easily?Rose: No, she can hold her liquor pretty well. She usually just gets tipsyAaron and Lyra: YES

50 .What is their personality type?*fart noises*

51. What is their worst negative quality?Rose: She tends to dodge any question that’ll make her show any negative emotion. Being with Julian is kind of helping her with that, since he needs her support and she feels okay talking about this stuff with him. Also she tends to be kind of overly sexual. She doesn’t really mean to, it just happens.Aaron: He tends to take serious things as a joke sometimes.Lyra: She likes to just, avoid people. She’d rather just be alone by her own choice than face rejection.

52. What is their best positive quality?Rose: She’s like a mom? You wouldn’t think that on the surface, but she’s actually really warm and motherly.Aaron: So fucking funny.Lyra: She has a heart of gold

53. What is their position to fall asleep?Rose: She likes to fall alseep with Julian resting his head on her chest and petting his hair. Motherly instincts, i guess. Also it’s the only surefire way of making sure he sleeps. If she’s alone, on her stomach or side with her arms under the pillow.Aaron: Starfish. Asra just has to deal with it, i guess.Lyra: Curled up with Nadia. It’s where she feels safest.

54. The most uncomfortable moment they ever experienced?Rose: (spoilers) Finding out she died. Considering death is her greatest fear, it was especially hard for her to swallowAaron: When his brother found out him and Asra were fuckin…and he found out his brother and Nadia were fuckinLyra:…..

55. Their happiest memory?Rose: When she first came to Vesuvia. It was kinda scary, but there’s SO MUCH TO SEE!!Aaron: Getting Slappy. Lyra: Finding out Nadia likes her back. She nearly fainted.

56. Do they blush?Rose: Not really, if she does its hard to tellAaron: SometimesLyra: YES

57. Are they clumsy?Nah

58. Do they like jokes? Of course, they’re people, arent they?

59. How do they flirt?Rose: VERY direct. She’s not afraid to let people know what she wants.Aaron: “Hey cookin’, what’s lookin’?”Lyra: oh god she’s so bad at it help her

60. Favorite fruit?Rose: StrawberryAaron: Orange Lyra: Kiwi

7 notes · View notes

smellycinnamonthundahfudge · 6 years

Text

tumblr fweinds

a year ago, i was tagged by @suplosers on two questionnaires and it is only now, a year later that i was able to answer em. i’m so sorry it took me this long but yah i’m just glad to get thru dis milestone, answering the first tumblr get to know ya post i was @ at... yaayyy ^^

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

I tag: tbd haha i still have to dig thru meh notifs to see which ones apparently took an interest in me so i’d like to take an interest in as well haha but oh @you-guys--are-losers, ur doing this whahaha hope it’s not too much of a bother, no presh watsoever ;3

the last

1. drink: ughh it's dis shitty stuff called hydrite w/c is basically salt water cus im sick rn and it's supposed to rehydrate ur shts or something hahaha

but dat was like a week ago... as of da moment i posted dis, it’s coffee from mini stop dat i drank at like 530 in da morn while i waited until i could enter the school cus i had to commute 3 hours w/ lil to none sleep

2. phone call: my father or one of my best friends

3. text message: the last one i texted was my sister and the last one i got a text from was dis org in school about the location for recruitment/auditions/interview

4. song you listened to: billy jean by michael jackson and i listened to it for meh tomdaya fic hahaha. But i also listened to halo by beyonce, untouchable and dress by taylor swift, and some other songs magmt mentions in her tomdaya fic hehe a week ago

rn, a metal cover of toxic by our last night

5. time you cried: haha i don't actually remember the context of it (i could find out tho haha cus i sent da pic to my best friend) but i took a pic of it while i did it which was on... july 16 hahaha. Oh but w8 oh sht i think i cried after that fudge w8 i don't remember the date (i think i can find this out too hahaha) but i wrote a sortof goodbye confessions letter to one of my dear friends and i wrote there that i externally cried (b4 i just said internally haha) so i'm not entirely sure i cried but i think im pretty sure i teared up hehe

6. dated someone twice: hahaha i haven't even had a legit love interest yet 😆😂 buuutt my best friend and i have "dated" as in spent entire days together w/ just the two of us, we even went to mcdonalds for valentine's day and got each other gifts hihihi aahhh gosh i miss her :'(

7. kissed someone and regretted it: haha im not even sure if dis happened and i have no plans on asking her about it but i remember when i was a kiddo, when my sis came home for some reason i kissed her on the lips hahaha dont remember if accidental or i just brain farted heck i aint even sure if it happened but das all i can answer cus well like i said, see #6 😆😂😆😂

8. been cheated on: hhmmm probs not, i have no idea if ive been cheated on in an unromantic way hahaha but in da romantic way, like i said, no love interest hahaha

Oh w8 does being someone's crush (i aint sure but it seemed like it) and crushing on dat dude but dat dude crushing on someone else too count as cheating? 😆😂😆😂

9. lost someone special: yes, all of my grandparents are dead. I've also lost pets, and i fear i may lose some of my friends due to the distance among us in this time of our lives

10. been depressed: i always wanna be careful over how to define depression. Like wat constitutes it... but yes, i think i have. Not sure, mind you, but yes, at the beginning of gr 7 i was really alone, i think i was bullied and i think i was depressed and going thru a really dark phase of my life back then. But then again, i have to say, i'm not sure.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: hahaha nope. I'm looking forward to getting drunk tho. Im currently underage so im not allowed to drink dat much yet but yeah i wanna know my limits hehehe i hope im da kinda gurl who can handle her liquor but i have drank and i have to say it made me all loopy and weird and just like woke or high or something hahaha so yeah man im excited to get trashed on my 18th bday hahaha (hopefully i get to do this tho huhuhu)

3 favourite colours

12. Pink

13. Blue

14. Gray

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: yyeeesssss and i'm so glad i have hihi. I have made friends w/ a select group of my blockmates and they're awesome and weird, i hope to strengthen our bond in da future hehe. Ooohhh and i sure hope that you guys are losers is my friend cus she's been rlly great :')

16. fallen out of love: i guess the closest i've come to falling out of love in a romantic way is moving on from da heavy crushin on meh crush. But i dunno, i still think he's a unicorn n pretty special to me so i dunno hahaha.

But bro, i do think i have fallen out of love. With tv shows, with characters. Like i used to be so passionate about a few shows and characters but now all i have towards them is regret heck i cant even remember wat dey are but i know dat der was love lost. I know it.

17. laughed until you cried: hahaha yaasss i think so. It's either when i was with my best dearest friends or during the class of dis really cool and funny as heck joker teacher who makes us laugh in EVERY SINGLE CLASS hahaha ahhh das guy's so cool

18. found out someone was talking about you: oohh yah yah i think so. Either from my best friends or from a few of my old classmates i care about and had gotten close with. Da best friend ones was about something in my past/history (g7) and the classmates one i think was just dem talking about me and they told me about it ooohhh i think it was my crush hahahaha. They told me dat my crush actually admired me a lot hehe. There was one time my friend (the one who told me about dis) was putting make up on me for a school film, and my crush was da cam guy and he told my friend i looked pretty. Sooo im pretty lucky dat- oh sht w8 i dunno if it's dis year but oh w8 no, it was on my bday last year (dec 20) and da same friend said she was sorry cus apparently da bois make fun of me or something and she was sorry cus she laughed along too hahaha but i didnt mind cus i know im weird and i dont even know what dey say about me in da first place hahahaha. Ok das it im done, i think ive overshared now hahaha 😆😂😆😂

19. met someone who changed you: my best friends. Ive thought about it based on wat sup losers said about change for da better and i dont rlly think of change as something dat happens quick, i think it happens over time and u dont even notice it. So ok oh sht i think im wrong cus i met my best friends 4/6 years ago hahaha but for reals tho, i was in a dark place and if it werent for dem i think id still be lost lonely and sad. Uuhhmmm in regards to answering the question correctly, i guess my blockmates count since they inspire/challenge me to be better. OH SHT W8 i def think you guys are losers and dead end street and tomdaya receipts and tout de suite have changed me hehehe. Da first 2 in dat dey inspired me to write more hehe. Da 1st one inspired me to do this so i think this counts as change hehe. And da last 2 changed me in dat bcus i met dem, i became OBSESSED w/ tomdaya hahaha.

20. found out who your friends are: yes, i have actually. And it's all because i am now currently a college freshman as well as my friends.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: hahaha my fam i guess hahaha. But no one in a romantic context.

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: hhmmm i guess id say about 200 since i know 4 sections of around 40 ppl and da rest is like fam and ppl ive met once/twice or have passed by haha

23. do you have any pets: yaaaassss 3 doggos: albie, juju, and biggie girl. Juju has a pupper named tchalla called dat cus he black hehehe and biggie has 2 biglets named mermer (meredith) and crissy (cristina) cus they're sisters 😍😊😊

My fam have also had a buncha dogs n puppers before but they were either given away or passed away. My bro also has dis cat named bob and i think he counts as a semi pet since my bro's home is a fam home.

24. do you want to change your name: uuhhh i wish i had an alliterative name like superheroes. Buutt im pretty happy w/ my name :')

25. what did you do for your last birthday: oohhhh i think i was at my section's christmas party it was pretty nice n emotional and i spent da rest of da day w/ 2 of meh best friends who bought me cake n food when my own fam didn't 😆😂😆😂

26. what time did you wake up: 4 am to shit cus im sick, but fell asleep again and officially got up around 730 or 8ish

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: haha tryna stay awake cus i had to drink meh meds and failed oh so much and i think i was asleep by midnight hahaha

28. name something you can’t wait for: tomdaya content, chatting/being w/ my best friends, watching da stuff i wanna watch, tumblring, reading sht i wanna read, vacation, writing fanfics, learning how to do a buncha stuff (write screenplays, make films n gifs, draw better), my bday when i hopefully get to do wat i want haha, avengers 4 and smffh, and captain marvel and antman and the wasp too i guess haha oh and the incredibles 2 and httyd 3 😍😍😍 oohhh and crazy rich asians

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: on monday which was when i was at home and not at my dad's n sis' n i's apartment in manila for school/work

31. what are you listening to right now: commercials on da tv as i answer this long ass questionnaire hahaha

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: hahaha i had to think about dis one but yah i have actually haha he was my gr 8 class mate n i like to think semi friend back den at least haha. Oh w8 but he doesn't go by tom tho, it's just thomas haha

33. something that is getting on your nerves: myself hahaha my shitty lazy ass procrastinating self hahaha 😅🙍

34. most visited website: fb specifically messenger, youtube, and tumblr

35. hair colour: hmmm black w/ a bit of brown i guess (ASIAN, YO! 😆😂😆😂)

36. long or short hair: neither, medium i guess haha. I like how long hair looks but it's such a bother n hassle haha. So i def would prefer short hair on a practical standpoint hahaha (im actually thinking of shaving the hair above my nape, yknow on da back of my head hehe)

37. do you have a crush on someone: well i dont have dat much of a crush on da crush i mentioned before, like i said haha. I have a crush on tomdaya, does dat count? 😆😂

38. what do you like about yourself: hahahaha nothing 😆😂😆😂🙍

Naahh uhhh i guess i like how much i love tv shows, i love meh fangirl self, and i like how diff n unique n weird i am, how i stand out, n dat i think my dreams are noble n worth tryin out. N i like how supportive n nice i am n im just chill on da outside haha. N sometimes i like meh face hehe. And i think dat im hilarious n weird n ppl should appreciate me more hahaha das y i crave for more validation dan consulting researchers hahaha (no one laughs at dat jokes and it's like im da only one who finds it funny and come on, man, i managed to make a research joke. Cant ya give a girl a break?)

n i guess sometimes it's good how much i care but sometimes i wish my feels could just chill for just like a minute pls

Thanks, man. I usually just focus on meh bad qualities so thanks for dis question, man :')

oh and i like dat i can swim hehe

39. piercings: i have holes on my ears for earrings but i don't really wear dem

40. blood type: a, i think?

41. nickname: sam, sab, and i rlly want to be called smells cus it's like a more me version of mels from melody hahaha

42. relationship status: single, yo. Oh w8 but i am married to my bed and fandoms so dey always come first. Plus i love my friends 😍😊

43. zodiac: sagittarius i think but i dont rlly know/care about zodiac sht. Tho it's nice if it does match up hehe

44. pronouns: uhhh i dont know wat to put here but i assume dis refers to wat i wish to be referred by ssoooo she, her, and a genderless pronoun in my language siya

45. favourite tv show: ughh i cant choose. Friends, grey's anatomy, phineas and ferb, avatar: the last airbender, black mirror, doctor who, and all of michael schur's stuff, and modern family, grimm, person of interest, pushing daisies, scrubs, happy endings, forever, how i met your mother, gravity falls, sherlock, and yknow wat? Yah, supernatural too and the httyd shows and suits :') oooohhh w8 and how to get away w/ murder and i guess big bang theory as well 😃 the end of the fucking world, legends of tomorrow, crazy ex-girlfriend, the good place, timeless but it’s kinda depressing so speaking of w/c game of thrones and west world and a series of unfortunate events and stranger things and scorpion and lost in space and for anime, let’s go with yakitate japan and boku no hero academia

46. tattoos: none, but i rlly want one and even have a list of tattoos i want (pretty minimalist), i just have to think of da perf place tho (both where to put it and where to get it) and find out if i can still donate meh bod if i have tattoos, but one of da ones i rlly want is smileys on meh fingers hehe

47. right or left handed: right, but my ma says im kinda ambidextrous n i kinda wish i could develop it hehe

48. surgery: haha nope, never. But in terms of an interest, i love grey's anatomy 😆😂

50. sport: ooohh my main sport is swimming cus my siblings are all swimmers so i am too. But i have played other sports for school like badminton, table tennis, volleyball, some water game i dont remember haha, and a combat sport in my country called arnis

51. vacation: christmas vacay and i cant wait huhu

52. pair of trainers: uhhh are trainers rubber shoes? I have a couple, i guess.

GENERAL

53. eating: my dad (who cooked our meal), sis, and i ate afritada (chicken dat's tomatoey basically) for dinner

54. drinking: just water, but ugh i have to drink da hydrite sht again 😑😒

55. I’m about to: finish dis questionnaire n fall asleep haha

56. waiting for: sleep n happiness

57. want: to sleep n write n tumblr n watch n read n for all my problems to disappear

58. get married: yeahhh... but i think it's highly unlikely, man. So i aint counting on it but i do want it to happen, it seems nice having someone to spend da rest of your life with :')

59. career: hahaha i'm still just a college student, just a newly minted freshman actually. But i like to consider myself a fulltime fangirl hahaha

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: well, i havent rlly made out with anyone yet so im gonna have to say hugs i guess w/c ofc i love haha but i wish someone bigger than me could cuddle me for once in my life 😢

61. lips or eyes: lips cus they just seem so soft and sensual hehe. Plus i dunno man, eyes are kinda gross with muta (da sht in da corner of ur eyes when you wake up, it's a filipino word) and sht. And ya have to wear glasses/contacts if dey weak so it's just such a hassle. Tho i do recognize their importance n stuff 😊

62. shorter or taller: ugh TALLER. im a pretty tall gal so for once id like to be da lil spoon for once, for someone to be able to carry me and ya know all dat jazz. But i wouldnt give up my height for anything, makes me feel confident and better than everyone else mwuehehehehehehe

63. older or younger: uuuhhh for now i think it's a bit weird to date someone younger dan me, but for me personally, wat age i'd like to be, YOUNGER ALL DA WAY. it was just way less stressful and innocent back den, id give anything to go back 🙍

64. nice arms or nice stomach: haha nice arms if it means i can swing around them and they can carry me whahaha. But i do like em abs, i wanna feel wat abs feel like just once in my life hahaha

65. hookup or relationship: ooohhh i guess i fancy myself having a relationship for now hehe. Havent even had one yet haha.

66. troublemaker or hesitant: i am a hesitant troublemaker whahahahaha. Like i have all these ideas of thangs to do n sometimes i do dem but sometimes da situation n context scares me into not doing it like a wuss hahaha

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: haha nope.

68. drank hard liquor: haha nope but am looking forward to it hehe

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: thankfully i havent needed any yet whew

70. turned someone down: uhhh i guess the closest i came to "turning someone down" was being awkward around my crush haha but to be fair i think he was awkward too hahaha. And in an unromantic sense, i turned down a blockmate who offered to be my partner in an assignment becus i already had a partner hahahaha 😅

71. sex on the first date: haha havent experienced it if das wat ur askin. Maybe imma be dat kinda person after ive had a couple of relationships but for now i'll settle for someone actually being interested in me hahaha

73. had your heart broken: yes, by tv shows, and by da crappiness of life in general 🙇

74. been arrested: hahahaha nope but dat would be CRAZY hahaha

75. cried when someone died: yes, whether in real life or in tv shows, i have cried bcus of death 😢

76. fallen for a friend: look, man, my best friend's probably the most important person in my life who i couldnt bear to lose. I love her more dan anything in da world so i dunno if our friendship is something more dan da "typical" best friends i just know dat i love her n dat i dont wanna lose her n dat our bond's nothing like any other relationship ive ever had

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: hahahaha not rlly 😅 im pretty unreliable tbh and i make tons of mistakes and ill never be enough ever and just in general hate myself and have 0 self esteem hahaha 😅😅😅😓

But there's a chance i could improve tho, a very very VERY small tiny chance... but i guess i'll take wat i can get :/

78. miracles: hhmmm not in da way most ppl think about miracles in dat, it's da impossible event. I like to think it's a miracle that i have the family dat i have, da friends dat i have, and da life dat i have cus honestly i think i'd be dead w/o em. It's a fucking miracle i have things im passionate about and things that i love and im surrounded by ppl who i love and who love me as well. So yeah, i guess i believe in those kinds of miracles :')

79. love at first sight: hahaha not rlly. Look, man, im a fat girl who doesnt rlly care dat much about looks so unless a person manages to fall for someone while dat someone was doing something dat was a huge indicator of their personality and thus it's not only da appearance dat da person "fell in love w/", den i rlly dont believe in love at first sight. It's just infatuation, bruh. Love at first sight is cheap and u dont rlly know any thing about dat person other than the fact that they're pretty (why they caught ur eye in da 1st place imo) and nothin, zilch. Unless, like i said, they were doing something important to dem n indicative of deir personality. But even then, it wouldnt be love. Like i said, it'd be infatuation cus imo love is deep and takes time and cant just HAPPEN just cus u looked at someone and thought he/she was pretty 😒. True love would mean knowing dat person to deir bone but wanting to know more about dem. So to conclude a ted talk from a bitter person w/ a non existent love life 😆😂😂😂, love at first sight doesnt exist, is cheap, and is discriminatory to "ugly" ppl.

80. santa claus: hahaha i know he probs doesnt exist and is u know basically just capitalism n marketing hahaha. But i dunno, man, i kinda wanna believe he exists just cus it's more fun n childlike n innocent 😍

81. kiss on the first date: hahaha yeah i guess so but i think i probs would have had to known dat person for a while before we decided to date. I havent had a first kiss yet sooo i aint just willin to give dat out to someone i just met/knew for like a day or something hahaha (i have no idea how dating works) 😆😂😆😂😆😂

82. angels: huh... i like to think guardian angels exist cus dat means there are like angels of pure light sent down from heaven to protect us from any harm w/c is just nice to think about, yknow? Hehe. But angels in da catholic sense... i dont think i do, bruh. Sorry :/ *shrugs*

OTHER:

84. eye colour: uuhhhh brown, i guess? Like i said, i dont rlly care much for eyes hahaha 😅 ooohh but da purple eyes thang ive seen on da internet sounds cool hahaha

85. favourite movie: aaaahhhhh there's just so many good movies thoo

But agghh fine. Ive come to notice dat my genre's pretty lighthearted w/c is nice actually hehe

Spider-Man: Homecoming, Rogue One, 10 Things I Hate About You, Moana, Coco, Mulan, Avengers: Infinity War, White Chicks cus it's just so goddamn funny and iconic 😆😂😆😂😍, i'm not- ok you know wat, da Pixar movies in general ok? I mean, how can ya not? Oh which reminds me, Tangled, and The Princess and The Frog, oohh The Avengers is also a pretty solid movie, ooohhh Love, Simon, godhs dat was just such a wholesome sweet n nice movie :'), oh and den i freaking love the Scream franchise, man. It's so good :'), oooohhh w8 maybe The Dark Knight cus heath ledger was just da fuking bomb in dat movie, oohh and About Time's da sweetest time travel movie :') w/c reminds me dat the Back to the Future franchise was just such a classic, man :') oh and yknow wat? Unbreakable's actually pretty fucking cool, man. I get shyamalan know haha. Oh and yknow wat? 100 Tula Para Kay Stella is da 1st filipino film i actually liked so it has a special place in meh heart :')

ooohhh and Black Panther, man, gods how can one not bring up Da King™? WAKANDA FOREVER :') 😄

Oh and hey yknow wat? I have a sweet spot for the Sorcerer's Apprentice. It's kinda a guilty pleasure of mine hehe 😅

Whiicchh reminds me... the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON FRANCHISE HAS GOT MY HART WHIPPED 😭😭😭

Oh and i also rlly like when harry met sally hihi :') and i guess the OG Star Wars trilogy's got a special place in my heart even if it is da way dat it is now 😢 :')

oh and i can't forget meh guardians :') Guardians of The Galaxy is such a solid film, bro. I loved it :') ooohhh and yknow wat? I actually rlly like Ready Player One, Baby Driver, and The Mummy (the brendan frasier one, who ya kiddin 😑)

oh and yknow wat? The Wedding Singer, 50 First Dates, and Music & Lyrics has got a special place in my heart, man. Gotta admit it :')

aawww and amelie, and begin again, and flipped and hercules, and room, and spotlight, and shape of water, and ladybird, and the princess bride, and the iron giant, and the lobster, and we're the millers, and what if and man up and shrek and kimi no na wa and a quiet place and inception and the lion king and to all the boys I’ve loved before and oooh tim burton movies are pretty cool, the animated ones, and I did spend a good amount of time obsessed w/ dis one so I guess cap civil war, and then big hero 6 and wreck it ralph, and the martian and inside out, and gone girl, and the lion king and forrest gump and spider-man 1 and 2, and les miserables and the devil wears prada and the book of life and the intern and the princess diaries and miss congeniality and aladdin and confessions of a shopaholic

And ok, ok, i think im done. Hahaha das it das my list of meh all time fav movies and i feel like rewatching all of em now hahaha 😍

#jazzessments

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willgayers · 7 years

Note

i havent been COMPLETELY thru your list of reddie fics so if youve already done something similar ignore this but. what about a sickfic where richie is sick? also maybe eddie just like, forgets about germs to take care of him and then ends up getting sick too and blaming richie and richies jus like, dude, were you here

i changed it a little but only the part where he blames richie and richie wonders if he was there !!! hope u like it :-)

again,,, sorry for the length?? but i cant write these short?? also again. IT IS WORTH IT

so obviously eddie is TERRIFIED of germs and every time one of the losers has even a little flu he’s not gonna touch anything they touch and will stand 5 feet away from them and honestly in the end will probably just be that one friend who’s gonna say

“my mom said no”

just so that he won’t hurt his friends’ feelings even tho he really just doesn’t wanna be anywhere near them bc hey he could get it too and it could turn into something more dangerous like leper obviously

but then one tragic time… richie gets a flu

and eddie’s very torn bc he doesn’t wanna be with richie cause ???? he isn’t clean

but then again they were supposed to hangout

eddie is thinking whether he should ditch richie or not

“jesus i’ve been sneezin since 8am”

yeah eddie is not gonna go there

the gERMS ARE FLYING and just the thought makes him shiver

he’s thinking that oh well maybe tomorrow he’s gonna be ok again

spoiler alert: he’s not

so eddie suffers thru the day bc its boring at school without richie

they talk on the phone later that day and eddie’s like hey r u feeling any better

“i am nod” richie answers with a stuffed nose

eddie just sits on his bed with a facial expression that is nothing other than :(

then the day after that ,,, eddie goes to school in hopes of that maybe richie had a miracle healing last night and now he’s gonna be there

LMAO YOU THOUGHT EDS

now eddie is just gettin pissed off bc how dare his boyfriend be sick for this long

so again that night they speak on the phone

“richie jesus christ when are u gonna HEAL”

“i am do dorry eddi-spageddi bud i am just so sig”

eddie is gonna turn into hulk soon from the conflict bc he REALLY misses richie

should i stay or i should go™

(nice stranger things reference)

ok maybe eddie is gonna give it one more day.

so it’s friday and richie has missed school for almost the whole WEEK

“wow eddie you’ve been without richie for almost the whole school week how’s that feel must be a new record huh”

“shut up stan”

don’t be mean stan

eddie’s heart is breakin

again,,, he goes home from school and calls richie immediately

“ARE YOU,,,,STILL…. SICK?????”

“yeah i— *LEPER COUGH* i ah-ah-AMh *cough*”

eddie cringes because ???? oh my gosh he is turning into a zombie

“oK THATS IT”

eddie has had it

he hangs up and stomps out of the house and rides his bike to the grocery store and buys all kinds of stuff like non-caffeine tea ((bc he knows for a fact that it helps better than regular)),, some ice cream and chicken soup in a can even tho eddie thinks it’s disgusting and fights with one of the workers

“YOU DONT HAVE NORMAL,,, READY CHICKEN SOUP IN THE FRESH FOOD SECTION????”

“yeah not today”

“my bOYFRIenD haS bEeN SiCK!! FOR A WEEk and i hAVE TO BRING HIM A CAN????”

eddie shakes his head in disbelief and curses the store as he walks away

then he finally arrives at richie’s house

he knocks on the door first just in case his terrible excuse of parents are home but they aren’t

so he leans down to grab the key from under the doormat and opens the door

he walks in and stiffens his upper lip as he glances around at the sight of empty beer cans and liquor bottles and there’s just the smell of old booze and cigarettes in the air

like it’s normal (and eddie hates that it’s normal) but richie’s SICK and he should be breathing fresh air not the literal definition of the breath of a drunken bum who’s been living in the gutter

this wasn’t what he was expecting bc he figured that richie’s parents would at least open the fucking window because their son is sick inside the house

so quickly eddie makes his way to richie’s room that is at the end of the hallway and he knocks on it softly before opening the door

he finds richie sitting in his bed ,,, burrito inside blankets and he’s watching something from his laptop

his eyes are red and his face is a lil swollen and nose also v red

eddie wants to cry bc he looks so bad

“eddi???”

“yes,,, eddi to the rescue” he mocks his boyfriend’s stuffy nose voice a little

richie is literally starstruck bc ???? EDDIE IS THERE ???? EDDIE , IS THERE , WHEN HE IS SICK ????

“whad de fug edz u should go befor u ged dis doo”

“i’ve been to school without you for a week now richard im done”

richie wants to cry

eddie is still just staring at him bc he doesn’t know how to approach him since he’s still a little disgusted at the situation this is all new for him ok but he really wants to help his bf

“i bought u some stuff”

richie starts to smile wide

“BUT” eddie starts

“before i give u any”

“????”

“you’re gonna leave this house”

richie looks at him like he’s crazy

“r u serioud eddi every pard of ma badi hurts”

eddie feels so bad for him

“you don’t even have fresh air here richie so i am serious”

richie can’t take the fact that his boyfriend is such a knight in shiny armor

eddie leaves the bag for a moment to grab richie inside his blanket burrito and pull him up.

“ur gonna have to get rid of this blanket tho”

“no:(”

eddie looks at him

“srsly richie i can’t give you a ride on my bike you’re gonna fall down and roll down the hill”

“:(”

“i will give you my blanket once we’re there”

richie throws his blanket down way too fast and he starts feeling nauseous

the bike ride isn’t very aesthetic™ for him either bc his head is spinning and all of his muscles hurt and oh my gosh he’s doing his everything not to throw up on eddie’s back rn

eddie’s mom isn’t home so eddie can easily sneak richie in

he’s not sure how he’s gonna explain him living there until he’s healthy again tho

but he’s not gonna worry about that now

(fast forward;

i donT CARE THAT HE’S SICK AND INFECTED MOM,, i LoVE HiM!!!!)

so now they go into eddie’s room ( he’s basically holding richie up )

and richie settles down on eddie’s bed and eddie wraps him inside a blanket and richie is just smiling at him the whole time

“r u comfortable”

“very” richie says. the blanket smells like eds and he is in eddie’s bed. ofc he’s comfortable

“here’s my laptop”

eddie hands him his macbook and goes to the kitchen to prepare the chicken soup. in the can. which eddie still thinks is unacceptable as he heats it up

“here”

richie is about to cry bc “did you really mage me chiggen soub”

eddie nods with a light frown like wtf obviously that’s what you eat when you’re sick

“there’s also ice cream”

“ice cream???”

“yeah it’s for the throat…???

eddie is kinda confused bc how can richie not know it helps

then it occurs to him that

richie doesn’t know, because

no one’s probably ever taken care of him when he’s sick????

i REPEAT, NO ONE’S EVER TAKEN CARE OF RICHIE TOZIER WHEN HE IS SICK

now eddie wants to cry

“scoot over”

he wants richie to be on the side next to the wall so he can lean his head on it if he wants to it’s more comfy

with a lil trouble richie does move and eddie cuddles up next to him

literally cuddles

richie is SHOCKED

“are you sure u wanna do dat”

“100%”

richie wants to marry eddie

“wad r we watchin”

“kill bill”

“waid a minude… isn’d dis-”

“yours. yeah. i never watched it and i never gave it back so”

“u never watched dis?? oh my god eddi—”

“eat ur chicken soup and watch this movie with me now oKAY” eddie is a pissed off knight in shiny armor bc talking is just gonna exhaust richie more and he needs to get WELL

richie eats his soup and they watch the movie in silence,,,, glued to each other and at some point eddie realizes richie’s fallen asleep with his head resting towards eddie’s

eddie can’t move because he knows if he does he’s gonna wake up richie

but thankfully after like 15 minutes richie wakes up and he’s like “shid where am i”

“you’re with me”

he turns his gaze down at eddie and he remembers that yes,,, he is in fact with eddie and he just feels: ️️️️️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

well the weekend goes by and eddie goes hardcore nurse on richie and literally by sunday he is already pretty healthy like his voice is back to normal and so on

but… Oh… no

eddie and richie are eating in the kitchen

richie goes;

“baby can u pass me that ketchup”

“sure—”

SNEEZE

eddie’s eyes widen and he freezes in shock

richie looks at him like o'shit he done caught the flu

but then he starts to smile

“WELL I GUESS I WON’T BE GOING TO SCHOOL FOR ANOTHER WEEK”

“what do you mean?!?!?!”

“because obviously im gonna take care of u”

eddie is 😨😭💘😓😭💕😨😭💗

then later they tell the other losers why they’re both missing school and stanley uris wants to comment again

“so eddie u went to richie’s house??”

“yesh”

“and i thought i was romantic letting bill choose dinner”

@nopetaking @xbell22 @donthateonk8 @stenbroughbros @reddiebrekmyheart @itsgreywaterrichie @donvex @blueeyespurpleskies @ageorgymi @oh-youre-the-worst @eddiekaaspbraak @whipashwhipash @rissyq @richietoaster @edskasqbrak @waterlouis @wyattghouleff@urtury @bukiminajimu @kcutieeesblog @stansmansuris @adorefack@reddieaddict @icyeyes102@denbroughbill @graveyardshipper @taletellingsir @anxiety-freak-yuuri @rheddie @queertrashmouth

#richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #reddie #hcs #it 2017 #it fanfiction #reddie headcanon

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fearofaherobrine · 6 years

Text

Roleplay Server Log #321

“Pinwheel and Crim, Wolf Heads, MissingNo is Healed, Scuttle Is Annoying”

[Pinwheel] Is chasing some flitters-

[Crim] - is lounging in the branches of a tree, half asleep -

[Pinwheel] Starts scrambling up the tree to catch a flitter-

[Crim] snores softly, completely unaware -

-The flitter lands on Crim-

[Pinwheel] Launches herself at the flitter-

[Crim] - is suddenly wide awake as Pinwheel lands on him. In a blind panic, he goes limp and falls out of the tree -

[Pinwheel] Falls on top of him- Oof

[Crim] - wraps all six legs around Pinwheel - Whys? Is better ways to wake me up.

[Pinwheel] - Was chasing flying thing, it land on you

[Crim] - looks around and spies flitter, still up in tree - Dat thing?

[Pinwheel] - Uh huh

[Crim] - groans, letting go and rolling to feet - Is just little thing. It no bite, no sting, not like other buzzing ones.

[Pinwheel] - But it challenge

[Crim] - watches flitter wander away - Yes, can be. It getting away...

[Pinwheel] - Gotta chase- Starts taking off after it

[Crim] - snorts smoke watching her chase after the poor flitter - Flap fast little thing.

[Pinwheel] Lunges and catches it, starting to pull it apart-

[Crim] No! - jumps up and rushes over - You not need to kill. You can't eat it, play yes, but not hurt.

[Pinwheel] - Why not?

[Crim] - sadly picks up a piece of the flitter - Cause, not nice. Not good. Hunt to eat, yes. Play yes. Protect, yes. But kill for no reason, bad.

[Pinwheel] - But these fun to tear apart! And yellow glowy eyes just makes more

[Crim] - frowns as flitter pieces despawn - Yes, but still not nice. Hurting others not nice, even little flapping things.

[Pinwheel] Sticks tongue out at Crim-

[Crim] - sighs sadly - This why others 'fraid.

[Pinwheel] - I don't care

[Crim] turns away and starts walking - You should Pinwheel. Alone is not nice. No fun, no safe, no friends, no happy.

[Pinwheel] - Not alone, have you

[Crim] - stops and looks back - What if something bad happens to me and I gone?

[Pinwheel] - I no let that happen

[Crim] - shakes head - You can tries, but there are nasty things out in world.

[Pinwheel] - But here is safe, at least, that what Splendy say

[Crim] Safer, but not always. Friends help protect, help watch to keep safe. The more friends, the more safe.

[Pinwheel] - But our bites protect us

[Crim] My bite works once, then I need to hunt spiders to do again. I can't breath fire right, I can't fly. You has limits too, water bad, right. Friends would help keep safe, help hide from rain or heal ouchies.

[Pinwheel] - But... But...

[Crim] - turns around and comes back over - I no wants Pinwheel ever hurts, but I know things happen. Bad things, that we can't stop. I... Couldn't help siblings, so was left alone. I dont want you to be alone Pinwheel, Evers. So, I try to make friends so I will always not be alone, and so others can watch you too.

[Pinwheel] - Siblings?

[Crim] - frowns & nods - I knew I had siblings, we could talk through eggs to each. But... They suddenly were afraid, then silent. Then I alone.

[Pinwheel] - I always alone, had nobody

[Crim] - goes over and flops down beside her - Not anymore. You has Crim, you has Tall Happy. Others here do cares about you, even if you no want.

[Pinwheel] - I meants to be alone, I know that

[Crim] - shakes head - No, You make choice.

[Pinwheel] - No I knows, Splendy tells me my egg found by itself, no signs of anything else

[Crim] I hatched alone, in dark cold cave. Then am I to be alone?

[Crim] And they found your egg... You didn't hatch alone did you?

[Pinwheel] - You said you had siblings, so no. I hatched here, by Splendy

[Crim] Had. They... Weren't... Only bones and cracked shells. I was alone.

[Pinwheel] Huffs and flicks her tail a bit in irritation-

[Crim] I had no ones. No one to feeds me, keep warm, keep safe. I almost got eats many times.

[Pinwheel] - But then you taken to other seed

[Crim] I hatched there.

[Pinwheel] - Oh, I thought big ones were supposed to keep all of you safe...

[Crim] - shivers - I hunted by other big ones. They.... Not nice. Crim was very very small. Big protectors not see to protect

[Pinwheel] - Oh... I just bit everyone who got near

[Crim] I not have poison then. Too small. After I grew some, I... Had trouble finding good rocks. So I hunted spiders, then I get good bite.

[Pinwheel] - But then you came here!

[Crim] - nods and smiles - Yes. I made friends with Docs, with White Lie, and others. - boops her nose with his - Met yous.

[Pinwheel] - And then you bits me!

[Crim] Well, you bigger and scared me. I fear you wanted to eats.

[Pinwheel] - I was nots bigger!

[Crim] Bigger is bigger. Everything bigger before tried to eat Crim. I didn't know and wasn't used to others. I was afraid.

[Pinwheel] - I was just curious

[Crim] Yes, but I didn't know. Is sorry I bite you.

[Pinwheel] - No, is okay, you first to bite back

[Crim] - giggles - You did looked surprised.

[Pinwheel] - It hurt, but that's okay

[Crim] And that's why sorry, not wanted to hurts, just not get eats.

[Pinwheel] - Is okay- She leans against Crim

[Crim] - starts purring & putting off heat - So see, friends is good. I like being your friend. And, even if you not want, others are your too.

[Pinwheel] - No, only Cri

[Crim] Nope. I wants Pinwheel safes, so others are & will be. It makes Crim happy to make sure you safe.

[Pinwheel] Annoyed sound-

[Crim] - nuzzles her, cranking up the purs - You want Crim happy, this make Crim happy.

[Pinwheel] - No promises

[Crim] Is start. Not say go play with them, just no mean to them.

[Pinwheel] - If they stay away, I no bite

[Crim] Is start...

[Pinwheel] - I sleeps now

[Crim] - yawns - Yes, sleeps and me watches.

[Pinwheel] Curls up into a ball of feathers-

[Crim] - shifts to curl around her, but still sitting up -

[Pinwheel] Is soon sleeping away-

[Crim] - is just purring away and notices another little flitter wander over toward them -

-There's a little whuff of air as something orange flies by low and fast-

[Mb] Don't go too far! - Is stomping along in a bit of a huff-

[Celine] Circles back around and does a graceful roll in the air just above the treetops before winging in a curve to get lower-

[Mb] Eyebrow at the pair in the grass- Well you got bigger, little red.

[Celine] Wheee!

[Crim] - nods - Aye, Grumpy. So did she - watches Celine flying -

[Mb] Yeah, still a little small though. I like the new scales.

[Celine] Flaps slow and catches onto a tree, flumping upsidedown like a bat- Such a pretty day!

[Mb] Yeah yeah.

[Crim] Yes, Big Red took me to nether. Helped get rid of old, Pinwheel helped too. Hi Celine.

[Celine] Crim! - She drops down and bounces in the grass a bit awkwardly - Oh... - She gives Pinwheel a pointed look- Why you with little meanie?

[Crim] Cause she my friend. She naps, I watch over.

[Mb] Oh Gk? Heh, nice to know the big nether dragons softened up to the idea of another male around.

[Celine] But she's mean. She'll bite you!

[Crim] - shakes head - No, I bites her. She not mean, just like to be left alone. Others.... Pester her and no listen to her.

[Pinwheel] Ruffles feathers a little in her sleep-

[Celine] Listen to her what? She just says no.

[Mb] Yeah last time I saw, that was the only word she knew.

[Crim] - cranks up the purs again - No, she talk more now.

[Crim] Angry no one understand and made her upset.

[Mb] Then poke her. Lets see what the puffball has to say.

[Crim] - stops purring and growls - No. Let her sleeps.

[Mb] Whatever.

[Celine] Okay. You sleeps then. I'm gonna go play!

[Crim] - nods - Has funs !

[Mb] Huffs-

[Celine] crawls up Mb who is basically clawed and poked as she does so, and then launches off his head.

[Mb] Grumbling and a little bit of bleeding.

[Crim] - tries not to giggle - She fly very goods.

[Mb] With a little help. I hope she gets bigger. She needs stronger legs to get a lift up-

[Crim] She will, I think she'll get bigs enough you can flys with her.

[Mb] I can already fly with her. Just not... on her. - He looks down and rises off the ground in a creative hover.

[Crim] I knows, I means on, Grumpy. - sighs - Must be nice to fly.

[Mb] You could always hitch a ride on one of the big dragons.

[Crim] No no no. Some of the bigs are goods, but... I stay on grounds. Been dropped before, not good.

[Mb] How the hell did you get dropped?

[Crim] When little, bigs hunted me. One caught and fly up, but I bite and they drop. Hurt several feet.

[Mb] Dammit, the big ender dragons were supposed to watch the little ones. We got three adults over there. There weren't that many eggs. Shit.

[Crim] - shrugs - Crim was very very little when hatch.

[Mb] What a bunch a bullshit.

[Celine] whisks by - Master said a bad word!

[Mb] COME ON.

[Crim] - giggles -

[Pinwheel] Huffs a little, her feathers flaring out where her breath hits them-

[Celine] Zooms by and messes up Mb's hair-

[Mb] Muffled cussing-

[Crim] - purs softly and curls tighter around - Shush Grumpy, no wakes.

[Ryan] -is walking through the trees when he come to the group the three heads all talk- hello

[Mb] What the fuck?

[Celine] from above- BAD!

[Crim] - sits up blinking, startled but still wrapped around Pinwheel - Hello, hello, hello.

[Ryan] dragons like me want to play?

[Crim] Play is good, but I watch friend sleeps. Sorry sorry.

[Ryan] oh sorry should be quiet?

[Crim] - nods - Yes please. Thanks.

[Celine] Swoops low and Mb sticks out an arm, there's a little bit of blood as she glooms on him to stop but he just ignores it-

[Ryan] -loafs on the ground-

[Crim] - smiles at newcomer - I Crim, she Pinwheel, who you?

[Celine] Bobs her head around like a chicken, not sure which eyes to look at- I'm Celine!

[Ryan] I'm Ryan

[Mb] Where's your Herobrine kiddo?

[Celine] Hi Ryan and Ryan and Ryan!

[Ryan] Herobrine I has no Herobrine only stevenson

[Mb] Eyebrow - You belong to a Steve?

[Ryan] yes he super nice but I wanted to explore so I here now

[Mb] Mutters - fricking Steve with a dragon, what the fuck..

[Pinwheel] Her tail flinches a little in her sleep at all the noise-

[Celine] Dances around a little- You a neat dragon! Pretty eyes!

[Ryan] this is second time he raised me

[Ryan] thank you celine

[Mb] Another one in a regeneration cycle. Hmmph. I never even heard of that shit until coming here. Do you get bigger each time too?

[Crim] - curls up and lays head over Pinwheel's back, purring and being warm and calming -

[Ryan] stevenson said my egg glitched back to him after I died when the world fell apart

[Crim] That sounds scary.

[Ryan] I don't remember it but it does

-Out in the real world-

-It's night and very foggy. The streets are quiet apart from the barest chilly breeze. Under a street light something staggers, it's fuzzy and smoky and barely there apart from a small object in it's center. It falls to all fours and snuffles in phantom pain, trying with all it's might to just exist. It manages to make it into a nearby yard, covered by the fog and practically crawls up the short steps of the bungalow. With it's last gasp of energy it ejects the tiny artifact and the stone carving rolls onto the doormat and comes to a stop with a small click at the base of the door. The shadowy figure reaches out a barely defined hand for it, but the smoky fingers slip through it's stone surface. It's a carved wolfs head, with a bitter, slavering grin. Cut crudely from plain gray rock. The intruder begins to unravel, just fading away into shadows with a single pitiful cry. It sounds like an infant in distress and it's meant to rouse the occupant of the house on this bitter, dark night. Officer Licht, someone has left you... something...

This message has been removed.

[Silver] Is washing Lapras' shell while his other pokemon all relax in the sun-

[Liz] -Jogging with Buff-

[Buff] Is jogging along the coast at a loping pace with a big smile. He's shirtless with a towel on his neck- What a great day!

[Lapras] Turns to look at them as they draw nearer-

[Silver] Climbs on Lapras to get at a more difficult spot-

[Sky] -Walking after Buff and Liz. It's a bit of a fast walk-

[Buff] Slows down to look- Wow! Your dragon looks great all buffed up shiny!

[Silver] - Huh? Oh, um, thank you...

[Buff] Turns to check on Liz and give hir a little scratch- It's a great morning to be out and about with friends! Hey Sky! You're never gonna work up a sweat just walking!

[Sky] That's fine by me!

[Liz] -Prrrrrrr-

[Espurr] Toddles closer to them, a bit curious-

[Buff] But it's good for you! - He does a little flex with his free arm and his bicep muscles roil around -

[Liz] -Leans down to sniff Espurr-

[Sky] So is walking, Buff.

[Silver] Starts working on Lapras' neck- Easy now, I know this tickles a little

[Buff] Pokes Sky with a thick finger- You should punch trees, work on that upper body. You're skinny as a rail!

[Espurr] Goes to pap Liz-

[Sky] -Exasperated arm wave- I'm an ENDERMAN!

[Liz] -Lightly noms Espurr's paw-

[Espurr] Lets off a psychic blast as a warning-

[Buff] So? Spend more time carrying blocks! You gotta LIFT bro!

[Liz] -Lets go of Espurr's paw and hisses-

[Silver] - Espurr be nice!

[Sylveon] Jumps around happily in the shallows-

[Sky] Endermen aren't mean to look like anything other than twigs, Buff.

[Buff] But you could try! And it feels good to gets your hearts rate up.

[Sky] -Crosses arms- No.

[Zweilous] Is a bit agitated as it starts huffing and stomping around a bit-

[Silver] - Zweilous?

[Buff] Notices Zwelious- Aww. It's a little dragon! With two heads? Whats the matter little guy?

[Silver] - I don't know... I know he's been fighting mobs lately, but he shouldn't be agitated

[Buff] Maybe he's hungry?

[Liz] -Bats Espurr-

[Silver] - He shouldn't be, I just fed all of them

[Buff] Scratches his scalp- Maybe he needs a haircut? It seems like his fringe is covering his eyes?

[Silver] - He's supposed to be like that, it's how he is as a pokemon

[Espurr] Jumps around Liz's paps-

[Buff] Oh... I don't know. Maybe he just needs some scritching? - He reaches to rub the creatures fringe like it was one of the servers dragons-

[Zweilous] Tries to bite Buff-

[Silver] - Zweilous!

[Buff] Whoah! Snippy little thing. Naughty! - He wiggles a finger at Zwelious.

[Zweilous] Continues trying to attack-

[Sylveon] Makes a concerned noise-

[Buff] Just pats his face away each time it gets close-

[Zweilous] A slight glow begins to surround them-

[Buff] Is too focused on parrying to notice-

[Liz] -bat bat-

[Silver] - Um... Buff? You might want to step away...

[Espurr] Grabs Liz with it's telekinesis-

[Liz] -Yelps- No! No! Do not grab!

[Espurr] Gently puts Liz back down-

[Buff] Huh? Um... - He backs off quickly-

[Zweilous] Is soon enveloped in the light and suddenly grows much larger-

[Silver] - Oh no...- He's reaching for his pokeballs

[Buff] What's going on?!

[Liz] -Hunches close to the ground before turning to look at the freshly evolving Hydreigon- Why it glow?!

[Silver] - It's evolving!

[Buff] Is that okay?

[Hydregion] Roars angrily, Silver has once again lost control of this particular pokemon-

[Sylveon] Darts to hide behind Lapras-

[Liz] -Scoots hirself between Espurr and Hydreigon-

[Buff] WHOAH! It's huge, and kinda floral?

[Silver] - Hydregion please! Calm down!

[Buff] Should I grab it for you?

[Silver] Fumbles for the correct ball- Hang on, I should be able to at least get it in it's ball-

[Buff] It's okay, I can get it. It's no biggie- Strolls right up to the hydregion-

[Hydregion] Snaps at Buff, aiming for his head-

[Buff] Just ducks and dashes between the pokemons legs-

[Hydregion] Is focused on attacking Buff-

[Silver] - Buff move! So I can catch them

[Buff] It's okay! I've got this! - He reaches up and just picks the Hydregion up from underneath-

[Hydregion] Uses one of it's attacks, becoming more angry-

[Buff] Just bounces the pokemon up a little to get a better grip on it. It's having a hard time snapping at him around it's rotund belly-

[Liz] -Now fully flat on the ground watching Buff try to disable Hydreigon-

[Buff] Gives a big huff of air and squat thrusts up, flipping the pokemon into the cold shallows-

[Hydregion] Roars using tackle as it charges forwards-

[Buff] Just braces himself and lets the Hydregion run smack into him, his feet furrowing deep grooves in the sandy shallows.

[Silver] Finds the right ball and throws it-

{Buff] Is shoved over with a big splash-

[Hydregion] Is caught by the ball, angrily shaking it once inside-

[Silver] - Oh dear, are you okay Buff?

[Buff] Yeah! Just a little wet. That was fun!

[Silver] Sighs- Now I'll need to probably get another badge...

[Buff] Badge? What for? Do you need to arrest the dragon?

[Silver] - No, in my game you earn badges to prove that you're a good trainer and certain badges help you control other pokemon

[Liz] -Slowly stands back up- What badge for? -Shi starts to move toward Buff and Silver, only to turn and nose Espurr toward them too-

[Silver] - To help me control the other pokemon- He pulls out what badges he does have

[Buff] Those are neat! You're a real boy scout! Should put em on a sash.

[Silver] - We have special cases to keep them in

[Espurr] Goes to check on Sylveon-

[Buff] Pokes the ball, - are ya just gonna keep him squished in there for now?

[Liz] -Trots up to them and sits beside Silver, looking up at him-

[Silver] - He's not squished, the inside of pokeballs are miniature environments perfect for the pokemon inside-

[Buff] Oh... okay. Well if you need anything else wrestled, just call me!

[Silver] - I'll let you know

[Buff] Yes! I'm Buff by the way. Doc's NOTCH, and this is Liz and Sky!

[Silver] - I'm Silver...

[Buff] Well you look snazzy with all that gold. I bet you've got a solid handshake- put er there! - Offers a hand-

[Liz] Hi!

[Silver] Hesitantly takes his hand-

[Sky] -Totally didn't teleport away when the Zweilous evolved into Hydreigon... Nope. He didn't just come back, either, no sir.-

[Buff] Shakes firmly but gently and lets go- You've got lots of cute pets.

[Silver] - Thanks, they're all dear to me

[Buff] So where are you from?

[Liz] -Blepping up at Silver-

[Silver] - A different game, a glitched version of it at least...

[Buff] So does that mean you're going to have to go out to get a new badge? I haven't been out much. Kinda fretting because my Herobrine stepped out for a while.... feeling idle... Anyway!

[Silver] - Yeah, but I have to figure out which badge I need first

[Liz] Why not get all badges?

[Silver] - Because I only needed all the ones from my game. Those I have, but Hydregion is from a different game so I need a couple different badges

[Liz] But get all badges? Wouldn't be useful? Get them all in one go and not need anymore, right?

[Silver] - You have to go through a lot of fights to get all of them Liz

[Liz] Oh.

[Liz] But you're strong, right? Must be no problem?

[Buff] But... If you've got all the badges from one game that means you're already a high level, right? Don't all the games start you out from nothing?

[Silver] - I'm not the strongest... And yeah, but I just use my pokemon instead of trying to train up a new team

[Buff] Shrugs- Makes sense to me.

[Liz] Isn't that cheating?

[Silver] - No?

[Liz] Supposed to start with new but use old. That isn't cheating?

[Silver] - No, you can bring your team from game to game legitametly...

[Liz] Oh, okay!

[Silver] - I... I should probably go check on Missingno

[Buff] Missingno? That's an odd name. What does it look like?

[Silver] - Currently? A ball of glitches... But I'm working on it

[Buff] Is a pokemon brine?

[Silver] - No... It's from the very first game, nobody is really sure what it is...

[Buff] Can I see? I'm just curious now.

[Silver] - Sure, if it wants to come out that is...

[Buff] Uses the towel to dry himself off a bit and waits patiently. - Okay!

[Silver] - Wait here, I'll see if I can find them- He goes off, trying to find Missingno

[Silver] Returns after a few moments with a glitching mass cradled in his arms- Here we are... See? Outside isn't so bad...

[Liz] What is? Is that Missingno? -Tries to sit up to look at the mass-

[Buff] Well hello there! You're so fuzzy!

[Silver] - Yeah, this is Missingno

[Missingno] Tries to pull away from Buff's loud voice-

[Buff] Oh sorry- speaks more quietly- It's so little. Where did it come from?

[Silver] - the original game, I'm not sure which version. But Doc was the one who found it and gave it to me

[Liz] Can touch? Is it okay with touch?

[Silver] - I don't know Liz, you can try...

[Buff] Ah, they're here to heal. That's not suprising. - Smiles warmly-

[Liz] -Scoots closer and arches up so shi can reach a paw toward Missingno-

[Missingno] Makes a panicked and loud noise at Liz's touch-

[Liz] -Retracts paw- No, no! Shhhh. Is fine. Won't touch again, am sorry!

[Silver] - It's okay Liz, I know you didn't mean to scare it

[Liz] Is it like sibling? Not used to touch? To everything?

[Silver] - Yeah, pretty much

[Buff] Aw... Maybe it needs a little ring of swatches like Alan got?

[Silver] - I think we need to take care of the glitching first...

[Liz] Can go get it's ring! If we need!

[Buff] Do we know what caused the glitching? Did someone try to delete it?

[Silver] - We don't know...

[Buff] Hey... what about the healer lady? Traveler told me they fix glitches! I think her name is Bessie?

[Silver] - What healer lady?

[Buff] They live on TLOT's seed. Some kind of priestess that's sweet on NOTCHs.

[Silver] - I mean, I can open ways... Not as quickly as BEN or CP, but I can...

[Liz] Skee can open all sorts of things! What are we opening?

[Sky] -Slightly embarrassed look-

[Buff] I'm not sure where it is... I'll ask Steve! -starts typing-

[Silver] - A way to a different seed I think...

[Buff] Got the numbers!

[Silver] - Wait, we're going right now?

[Sky] Might as well, Not like any of us have any other plans.

[Buff] We are? This'll be fun!

[Liz] Field trip!

[Silver] - Okay, he tosses out most of the balls and calls them back into their balls except Ponyta and Sylveon

[Buff] Let's go! - Starts heading the direction of the cage-

[Silver] Starts following the large NOTCH-

[Liz] -Scuttles after Buff, Sky walking behind hir-

[Buff] It doesn't take them long to get there and he leads the way down into the cage- Oh... I don't know which one it is?

[Silver] - Ummm...

[Buff] One in three chance... you pick!

[Silver] - Ummm... Middle one?

[Buff] Go ahead then, I don't think they're protected from people going in and out

[Silver] Starts concentrating and slowly an opening forms-

-A little snow blows in from the hole-

[Buff] I bet that's it! Steve said it was snowy!

[Silver] - Well, good thing cold doesn't bother me...

[Liz] -Goes barreling in yelling SNOW-

[CP] - FUCK OFF!

[Sky] Liz---

[Buff] Cp?

[Liz] THAT'S A NAUGHTY WORD!

[CP] - Go away! We're busy!

[Liz] No! You said a naughty word! Apologize!

[Buff] Whoops... we're looking for Nessie!

[CP] - Wrong seed dumbass!

[Buff] Sorry! You have fun playing in the snow then!

[Liz] -Butts hir head against CP's leg before turning to dash back out-

[CP] Flips off their retreating forms-

[Buff] Comes back out into the cage- Sheesh... It's my turn, let's try this one. -points-

[Silver] Closes the other portal and works on opening the new one-

[Sky] -Pats Liz's head as shi plunks beside him to wait-

[Silver] Gets the new one open-

-There's a bit of a crackle as Buff interferes to get the portal to open at the right spot. It's cold on the other side, early morning in a spruce forest biome.

[Silver] - Is this the right one?

[Liz] Is this one right now? -Scoots over to look inside-

[Buff] Yes! We just have to walk up the ridge a bit. It's some kinda temple.

[Silver] Steps through with his two other pokemon following-

[Ponyta] Snorts as they feel the cold, sending up a cloud of steam around them-

[Sky] -Folding his scarf up over his head for safety reasons. Totally not prepared for snow hell or the resulting injuries it'll cause. Nope.- Lets go Liz. -Shoos Liz in and Looks around as they do-

[Silver] - Do you think you'd be better off on Ponyta? I could try and convince them to let you hitch a ride...

[Buff] If not I could carry you. I bet you don't weigh anything at all.

[Sky] I'm fine! Don't worry.

[Buff] If you're sure....

[Silver] - Okay...- Silver shuts the way behind him and holds Missingno close

[Liz] -Snuffling around at everything-

[Buff] Tromps into the woods following the F3 positioning numbers on his heads-up-

[Sylveon] Wraps a tendril around Silver to comfort him-

[Sky] -Walking along behind Liz, herding hir after Buff-

-There's the sounds of some shuffling in the surrounding foliage and some monks step into the path with bows drawn-

[Monk] Halt intruders!

[Buff] Oh Hi!

[Silver] Shrinks back a little-

[Liz] -Sniffs at the monks-

[Monk] Wait? Are you a NOTCH?

[Other monk] Sniffs the air- That's one stinky glitch...

[Buff] They can't help it! They're broken!

[Silver] - Um... We were... Um...

[Sky] We're looking for someone.

[Liz] -None too sneakily scooting closer to the monks, sniffing all the way-

[Buff] We need a healer! The best you've got!

[Monk] Scoots away from the dragon.

[Other monk] We have many healers...

[Missingno] Makes a scared noise-

[Liz] -Scoooots after the monk, tongue starting to hang out-

[Monk] Points an arrow at her tongue and lightly pokes it with the point- Back dragon!

[Other Monk] We should take them to Lady Nessie...

[Liz] You smell nice.

[Monk] Looks a bit disressed- I am pure! Unglitched! As I should be!

[Sky] Liz, let them be.

[Liz] But Skee! Things that smell nice must be licked!

[Monk] Throughly weirded out-

[Ponyta] Snorts and bucks a little, not liking all the snow-

[Silver] - Easy Ponyta...

[Other monk] Follow us please.

[Monk] Scoots after him quickly to avoid Liz-

[Buff] Follows cheerfully-

[Liz] -Trots after, trying to stay close to the Monk shi was going to lick-

[Sky] -Follows group-

[Silver] Quietly follows-

-The monks lead them to the temple and past another pair standing guard. One of them runs to get Lady Nessie and the others lead them into an anteroom with a fire and couches-

-The three that stay are sniffing the air and casting glances at the Missingno-

[Liz] -Darts to the fire and plops beside it-

[Silver] Holds Missingno a bit more protectively-

[Lady Nessie] Strides in with a slight twist in her expression and stops. It's clear she was expecting TLOT or Doc or even Lie, and Buff catches her totally off guard. - Who are you?

[Silver] - Um... Hi?

[Liz] You smell nice too!

[Nessie] Crosses her arms - Thank you? But I mean it, who are you?

[Buff] I'm Buff, and this is Silver, Sky and Liz!

[Sky] -Waves-

[Nessie] Points at Missingno - That is one of the worst glitches I've ever seen.

[Buff] Can you fix it?

[Nessie] Perhaps... if only to clear the air.

[Sylveon] - Syl?

[Liz] -Slowly scoots away from fire to watch everyone else-

[Sky] -Stands by Liz before sitting and basking in the warm air-

[Silver] - Um... If you could... It would be appreciated?

[Nessie] Do you know what it will be?

[Buff] A pokemon!

[Silver] Shakes his head- No... We don't know what it should be...

[Nessie] I will fix it, but you have to take it elsewhere. Are we in agreement?

[Silver] - Uh... Yes...

[Nessie] Removes a plant from the top of a block- put it here then please.

[Silver] Carries and tries to put it down, but it makes frantic noises as soon as Silver tries to pull away- Ummm...

[Nessie] Just waits patiently-

[Silver] - Hey, calm down, I'll be right here...

[Missingno] Long sustained noise-

[Nessie] Stand close if you like, but it will be dangerous to touch it while I work.

[Silver] - Um... Okay- He pulls away and Missingno reacts badly- It's just for a minute...

[Nessie] reaches out and gently probes it with her delicate long fingers, feeling out it's shape - easy child. I will not harm you.

[Missingno] Loud screech-

[Liz] It doesn't like touch.

[Nessie] If it wants to be healed it will need to endure this.

[Silver] - PLease calm down... It will be over fast...

[Nessie] Is focused now and moving over it faster, almost as if typing onto it's fuzzy surface, as she moves it's becoming more well defined in it's outline.

[Buff] Wow...

[Silver] Watches nervously, a bit of ice spreading at his feet-

[Sylveon] Tries to comfort Silver-

[Nessie] Gives it several small pokes in key areas and steps back as the small shape becomes a ball of light-

[Buff] Is it gonna evolve?

-The light receeds and the little creature falls back onto the block with a loud wail. It's brown with a thick tail, clawed feet and little hands. It's eyes are dark and it's got stubby horns on it's head-

[Silver] - Hey there...

[Missingno] Leaps for SIlver who catches and cradles the small pokemon-

[Buff] AWWW it's so cute!

[Silver] - Th... Thank you...

[Liz] -Scuttles closer to examine- Different now!

[Nessie] Nods in satisfaction- now please go.

[Silver] - Uh... Yes ma'am...- He turns and starts heading out with his pokemon following

[Buff] Thank you! - Heads out as well.

[Monks] Carefully avoid Liz and hir tongue-

[Sky] Back into the cold? Dang.

[Buff] We can go home now. A good days work I think!

[Liz] -Tries to lick any monk that doesn't move as shi leads Sky out-

[Silver] Creates another opening-

[Buff] Hops through happily - What are you gonna do now Silver?

[Silver] - Get this guy settled...

[Buff] Pats Silver on the head - Good for you!

[Sky] -Steps through with Liz and puts his scarf back to normal-

[Silver] - I... I'll see you around?

[Buff] Heck yeah!

[Silver] Hurries off-

[Sky] Well that was eventful...

[Scuttle] Is shoving bread under BEN's door-

[Hyrule] Is laughing as he gathers the bread-

[BEN] - Hyrule what are you laughing at?

[Scuttle] Runs out of bread and shoves a fish under the door-

[Hyrule] Goes running past BEN with the bread- Dada look!

[BEN] - Where are you getting that?

[Scuttle] Is laughing on the floor outside the room-

[Gem] -is outside look up at the bridge scuttle is on- what are you doing?

[BEN] Is trying to catch Hyrule-

[Scuttle] Noooothing.

[Gem] don't make me come up there where you doing

[Hyrule] Drops the bread and goes to get the fish-

[BEN] - Hyrule don't touch that!

[Scuttle] Putting stuff in the slots, or playing, or having tea!

[BEN] Kicks the fish away and picks Hyrule up befopre opening the door-

[gem] -flies up to look at scuttle-

[Scuttle] Flops on the floor and wiggles all four feet in the air like he's pedaling a tandem bike-

[BEN] - The fuck is going on?

[Scuttle] Revolution!

[Gem] he glitched with my world and he still scares me some times he is just being werid

[BEN] - He was shoving stuff under our door...

[Scuttle] I was not!

[Gem] -flinches at his loud voice-

[Scuttle] Gets himself upright again and starts playing with a piece of spider string-

[BEN] - ... Am I allowed to stab him?

[Scuttle] Has made a kind of mobile and is attaching random things to it-

[Hyrule] - Dada I play!

[BEN] - Inside Hyrule

[Gem] no he technically is my notch so I am in charge of him.

[Scuttle] Notices the kid and gets tangled up in the mobile-

[BEN] - Yeah well we don't need him giving Hyrule anything that could harm him

[Gem] what did he show under the door?

[Scuttle] Gets mostly undone and gets out a piece of paper, waving it to get Hyrule's attention-

[BEN] - Bread and then a fish

[Hyrule] Looks at Scuttle-

[Scuttle] Folds a paper airplane and sends it flying around in a sharp curve so it sticks in BEN's hair.

[Gem] well that seems mostly harmless they are food.

[BEN] Growls and burns the paper with his lightning-

[Hyrule] Giggles at the lightning- Dada! Sparks! Sparks!

[Scuttle] Claps - And for his next trick!- Makes a ta-da gesture at BEN

[Gem] hyrule seems to like him but do you want me to get him out of here BEN?

[BEN] - Yes! I know so far he's shoved harmless things at Hyrule, but I doubt he knows what's okay for babies and what's not

[Gem] okay come one scuttle lets go down stairs

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merlesbians · 7 years

Text

merdred D/s filth and crack

disclaimer: i’m not a writer but the one that collaborated with me is.

this one is about this fanfic series

Most of Mordred's searches on porn websites are orgasm denial. Merlin thinks it's cute. -

"Milk or sugar?" "Both." "That a thing now?" "I LIKE MY MAN LIKE MY TEA. FULL OF MILK" "MORDRED NO... I like mine sweet and not too strong." "Yea." - Merlin texts Arthur when Mordred leaves. 'You think I look kinky?' 'Only when you're stressed and biting your lips' 'I do this all the time' 'Really?' 'Oh.' -

Mordred was obviously a first timer because he had no idea how to say no to people he wasn't interested (after all being a sub doesn't mean being held by the first dom that claims him). Merlin saw him all unconfortable with some guy, then approached them "excuse me but this boy is mine, aren't you?" to which Mordred thought THANK YOU MY LORD AND SAVIOR but just answered "Yes Sir. Sorry Sir". Arthur was at the club too, but he was probably too far gone with a femdom and public whipping. Merlin asked if that was ok because he noticed Mordred wasn't comfortable with the guy and Mordred just said that all he needed that moment was to be taken care of.

Mordred noticed Merlin's lips and cheekbones because "THIS LIGHTNING FLATTERS YOUR ANGLES, SIR" "My room is pretty clear and I want to see you whole and properly, boy"

"You a top or a bottom?" "I'm what you want me to be" "Fuck, boy. Can I make you come twice tonight?" "You don't need permission. Sir. And if I try hard we can make it three." "I like you"

Merlin makes Mordred finger and blow him to avoid him touching himself. Then he blows Mordred until the adge, then rides him (and he comes again and just says 'now you broke me' and sleep again). And Merlin makes him tea and biscuits.

Mordred tells his age QAF-like.

After the first night/dat/afternoon WHATEVER Mordred is getting ready to leave but the mess in the room is absurd and he can't find his underwear. Merlin finds it while cleaning the room and it smells like strawberry (lube, maybe? Did he go ready to bottom to the club?) and Merlin dies a little. -

Merlin always gets paranoid about consent when they drink, but one time they end up having the most vanilla sex to ever vanilla. (Except the biting, Merlin can't help himself) (And hair pulling because PLEASE) Later he discovered that Mordred held his own breath because he can't vanilla (he actually can and it's quite lovely how long it takes for him to come).

- Merlin wants to buy something for Mordred. Morgana tells him to buy leather. He does. A jacket. And a choker. - When Merlin's friend Will meets Mordred, he says "I wonder how this one behaves in bed" because the boy is always ready to explode. Merlin laughs. "He's quite obedient, actually." - Mordred has a lovehate relationship with morning sex because he fucking loves the way Merlin takes care of his mmorning erections, but he has trouble focusing on classes in the morning. - Whenever someone makes a joke to Mordred about him and Merlin, he agrees and grins. "I even call him daddy." - Merlin got in bed too late and too tired because of work things, and Mordred was fast asleep already. When Mordred woke uo, got the sight of Merlin and couldn't wake him up, so he decided to wank in bed watching him. He was halfway through it when Merlin sleepy spooned hims and Mordred and he was all like of fuck and came between their bellies. - "Mordred, the sheets. I can't do laundry every day." "I'm s-" "I'd love to clean you up if you make a mess of yourself." "Mer-" "I can clean myself up too." - Mordred every now and then suggests shower sex. Merlin avoids it because, in some way, it seem s a too intimate thing he'sw not ready to. When they become closer and start thinking about moving together aqnd sheit, Merlin doesn't quite asks it to Mordred, just throws a waterproof lube. (It's also the first time they go bareback) - "I got a cockring to deal with your 17yearoldness." (Mordred didn't dare to make the joke about having a dildo to deal with Merlin's 30yroldness. He would suffer enough already.) - "Where were you?" "Dining with Uth--" "ASDFGHJKL TELL ME MORE" "-er and Arthur." "And were you boys all serious talking about business using your reading glasses?" "Will you ever stop" "Nope" That night: "I'm leaving my tie. And the glasses. You leave the hair pins, boy." Merlin managed to put the pins on Mordred's nipples. He was a begging mess that night. (More than the usual). - Once, Merlin invited Mordred for a Star Wars marathon - but his real intention was to get the D. Mordred was way too excited by the movies to even think about sex. By the end of Return of the Jedi, Merlin was already boiling in arousal and when Mordred said "this is just too exciting!" while Leia's escape, Merlin just screamed FUCK THIS SHIT THEN and procedeed to blow Mordred while getting himself off. Mordred's eyes never left the screen - but his grip on Merlin's hair was saying he was enjoying it thank you very fucking much.

Mordred returned the favor while showing Pacific Rim to Merlin. - Mordred likes the idea of having sex in front of Arthur because Arthur is the only other that has Merlin's heart and still, Arthur would never have Merlin the way he does. - One time Merlin finds Mordred crying at home. Turns out he had had a fucked up dream. Merlin kisses his whole body until he falls asleep again. - Merlin wants a dog. Mordred wants a cat. They get two fishes, called Puppy and Kitten. (Puppy stays at Mordred's and Kitten at Merlin's - until they move together - because they remind them of each other.) - Mordred starts calling Merlin "Emrys" when he wants to show respect. - When Mordred moves in and Merlin has work trips, Mordred sleeps wearing Merlin's clothes. Before he moves in, Merlin notice the clothes he thought he'd lost getting back to his wardrobe. Mordred swears he has 0% guilt on it. "I think the cleaning lady is stealing my clothes" "Hm" "But she's been working for the Pendragons for years, I don't know..." "They must be dirty" AT UNI: "WOA MORDY U LOOK GREAT IN FANCY SHIRTS" Mordred once got off in a Merlin shirt and brought it back without cleaning. - Arthur called Merlin late one night, and while babbling, Merlin was sure Arthur was getting of with his voice - but he never asked if it was truth fearing the answer would be no.

Mordred actually calls Merlin quite often to phonesex. Mostly while he's at Uni, and the classes are too boring. Those little escapades are the highlights of the week - until they're actually together. (Mordred also records himself getting off if he can't talk with Merlin, then sends the audio file to him) - At first, Mordred couldn't swallow so he would take off his mouth. Two times Merlin came on his hair, but he always washed it later. - Very often Merlin would arrive home stressed and tired, but if he could see that Mordred wanted something, he'd get the boy off. - Merlin showed Mordred how to deepthroat with practical demonstration. "Come on, give me your wrists. Yeah, good boy. Gonna show you something now." - Merlin likes to ride his boy because it's the best way to have him undone. One time Mordred drifts off so bad, Merlin thinks it had something to do with the breathplay. - Merlin wants to submit quite often, just to change up things a bit - but he can't refuse Mordred anything (and every single time what Mordred wants is to be taken to the edge) - Phonecall: “yes mordred please come but you‘ll have to put up with drunk Arthur again. Yes. Its football, what can I do?“

“MORDRED IS COMING?“

“Yes.“

“NICE. Mordred is fun.“

“He sure is.“

“That why you‘re not d drinking?“

“Kinda.“

“BUT WE ALL SHOULD DRINK YOU CANT LET ME DRINK ALONE“

“You promise not to creep on us?“

“Mãrlin, please.“

“so you can really take all of merlin‘s cock?“ “I have dreams about merlin and your father.“

“Oh, me too. Someday they might kill each other.“

“... kinky dreams“

“why are you telling me this, christ mordred“

“Dunno, they‘re both hot, thought you‘d agree“

“MY FATHER, MORDRED“

“sorry. Merlin would fuck the bitterness out of him, tho.“

“he would, wouldnt he?“ *frustrated noises because merlin* (Kidding, merlin/uther is not happening)

Merlin, while fingerfucking a tied up mordred and about to suck him off: “Go on with your poetry, then. You manage to finish it, I fuck you. Bare. If you stop, I stop. If you say anything more than the poem, you‘ll be tied all night and I‘ll just have a wank by myself."

That night, before they collapse in a very deep sleep, Merlin kisses him and tells him how good he is. With a lower tone, he says “love your voice“ by Mordreds ear, then kisses his neck, “love you“. He didnt know if Mordred could hear it, but then the boy started holding him harder and he couldn‘t tell if Mordred was going to collapse or just smile. ----

Mordred keeps asking what they‘re doing when he graduates. Merlin cant think of something special that they haven‘t done yet “MY SEXTAPE“

“mordred stop“

“PRETTY PLEASE“

“what if you lose it, what if your computer is stolen, what if, I dont know, my mother finds it“

“I‘ll cook you dinner for a week. A month. Wearing panties.“

“Deal.“

Said month:

(Merlin and arthur entering) “You said Mordred would make dinner? gonna say hi-“ “DONT“

Too late. Arthur caught Mordred making orange juice, sweating and wearing light blue panties. hih ----

Merlin starts a system to make Mordred study.

- "You finish this paper before 9, I let you bite me." - "If you don't miss any classes by the end of the month, I will wear heels." - “You make valedictorian, I wake you up with you already inside me.“

- “You pass, we fuck in lingerie for one week.“

Nobody understands how frustrated Mordred gets if he doesnt do well at uni.

“Mordred y u sulking u probably gonna work with Pendragon as soon as possible your grades are great“

“BUT NOT HOW GREAT I NEED THEM“

------

Merlin had to travel because of job stuff, and he doesn't see Mordred in two weeks. In the meantime, Mordred left his beard grow just because he didn't care about shaving, and by the end of the time away he goes meet with Merlin at the airport. 'Holy shit, Mordred.' 'Hey! Missed me?' 'If I knew you'd look so hot with facial hair I'd order you so much earlier to keep it' 'So you like the too-lazy-to-shave look on me?' 'Enough to be thinking about letting you welcome me with a bathroom blowjob right here' 'I thought you weren't into public display' 'We can lock the door. Come on.'

#merdred #some arthur #I'd change mordred's age to 18 so things aren't weird #this was some time ago....

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roccoroks · 7 years

Text

VOLUME 6 DAG FILES GATHER ROUND FUCKERS.....ITS THAT TIME AGIAN! ITS STORY TIME WITH ROCCO!!!! its been a long fucking week, elevator took a shit, roof blew off and the Indians are back from cherrokee and all of this in one 18 hour period, not to mention i have a desk clerk that thinks he is supreme overlord over the internet systems and security systems and he is not. thats my job. i am to supreme pizza as he is to cheese pizza but he has yet to figure this out. anywho (count down to when someone photoshops dicks into that gif) to day started out harmless enough, bird chirping and shit, sun was out, it was like 80 degrees but that was the highlight of my day. see i was being called in because we could no longer remote view our security systems because Lord WiFi fucked up the routers again. 10:30 am i arrive at the motel..... IN MAH NEW TRUCK MIGHT I ADD! *phone rings* me: hello (bleeeeep) how my i help.... dag: YES I WOULD LIKE TO BOOK ONE OF THOSE ROOOMS, THEY GOT DAT JACUZZZZZZZZI IN EM me: (MOTHER OF FUCK COULD YOU TALK ANY LOUDER!!) YES MAM, WE HAVE THOSE (MEETING HER VOLUME EQUALLY AS LOUD) dag: HOW MUCH IT BE FO 1 NIGHT? me: just one second.....( rack rate of 59.95, 10 dollar fee for destroying my hearing in everyway possible and the 5.00 i hate you fee) mam? dag: WHAT? me: huh? oh it will be 89.95 (i rounded up) dag: last time we stayed there... me: (oh for fuck sake, here we go) dag: it was 29.45 and tax me: was not, it has never been that rate.....ever dag: it was to me: was not, i know for a fact it wasnt, our minimum rate is 49.95 not 29 (oh shit im being a asshole and jill said i wasnt allow to be a dick anymore) you may have us mistaken with another motel mam dag: i dont like your tone me: (i dont like you) im sorry mam but the truth is that our rate is 89.95, now if you stay 3 nights i can give you 10.00 off dag: (yells to here husband) HEY! RICKYBOBBYJIMBOB BASS HE SAYS HE WILL GIVE IT TO US FOR 10.00 OFF IF WE BOOK 3 NIGHTS OR MORE dags husband: SHEEEEEIT THATS ALMOST 40.00 OFF *heard in the background* me: O.o (you no math what good) dag: OH YEAH WE TAKE THAT, THATS A GOOD DEAL 10 OFF A NIGHT! me: (i seem to have made the screaming mongoose happy) ok i just need some info from you and we can get your reservation in place, when are you coming? ( i swear if you say as we speak and start moaning that the last person did, i will commit suicide) dag: uuhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... me: ( WAS THAT A FUCKING MOAN) mama? dag: HOLD ON, IMA THINGKIN (say it just as i spelled it) me: ........ *begins making the universal jack off sign* dag: oh! WE IS COMING TODDAY ME: (REALLY.....HOW CAN YOU BE THIS STUPID AND NOT KNOW WHEN YOU ARE EVEN COMING IN.....WHEN ITS TODAY!!!) *A SHORT SERIES OF QUESTIONS LATER* me: ok i need your zip code please dag: ******* (its cherrokees zip code) me: (fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.... you people always cause problems) ok mam i have your reservation right here and i will see you soon! *dag hangs up with out further conflict* -12:4.....something pm IDK- -there is a nasty storm moving is and the wind is cutting about 60 mph in straight lines and shit getting crazy up in hurr- *struggling with printer, trying to refill the paper tray* me: *grabs multiple sheets of paper* yes, take my load of white paper *wont fit, grabbed to much paper* me: how about now *still no beuno* *removes more paper* me: now? *begins shoving paper into tray at maximum force* *still to much!* me: I WILL DESTROY YOU HP LASERJET P1101W! *phone rings* me: *throws paper in fit of rage, paper now covers 95% of the desk* .... O.e FML!! hello how may i help you? Jill: rocco? me:.....what jill: the cameras still dont work, i cant see shit on my phone me:......no shit? that might be because i have yet to get to that problem.... jill: dont be a ass just fix it me: why does this need to be delt with right this moment, im in the fight of my life with this stupid printer.... jill: i need to be able to watch everyone work... me: ......pervert.. jill: blow it out you ass me: you would like that wouldnt you...*heres her hang up the phone*...PERVERT! *TURNS AROUND TO SEE A LARGE LADY STANDING IN MY LOBBY* ME: hello what can i do for you? Dag: yeah hunneh wez gotza reservation widjall (good luck reading that shit) me: oh ok, whats the first name .....*notices she has what looks like a cross tattoo on her right shoulder*....thats a interesting tattoo you got there dag: oh this old ting? hunneh thats from a long time ago... me: oh is it tribal? (she indian so must bee) dag: sweety child no thats a pork chop... me:..........(BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH WTAF!) *snicker* uh...how come *pfssssss* i mean to stay *choking back tears* what pork chop dags husband: *from the couch in the lobby* BECAUSE SHES A FAT ASS! me: e.o.....(ho god ho god ho god! i cant do it! i just cant do it) falls in the floor laughing my ass off dag: mothafuck i told you not to speak! bitch you want to eat tonight dont you! me: (oh shit!) snaps to attention dags husband: pfssss wtf ever you know who wears the britches in this relationship! me: (shut up dude, this bitch has the size and capacity of a small bread truck, you may never be heard from again) here are your keys enjoy your stay (please dont eat me) *dag leaves, phone rings* me: hello how may i help you? jill: rocco me: now what jill: moms dog is sick me: i dont care jill: oh and bobby is sick, you have to cover third shift tonight, we have 3 late reservations coming in and you need to take care of it *loud noise heard in parking lot* me: OH SHIT NIGGA! THE ROOF JUST BLEW THE FUCK OFF AND LANDED ON A CAR! JILL: WHAT?! *hangs up phone and runs outside* me: *see that part of the roof has blown off and landed on one of the maids cars* OH THANK GOD, its just marys car thats distroyed. mary: OH YEAH BECAUSE THATS SOOOOO MUCH BETTER! me: meh.....*goes back inside while mary rages out* -12 am now...things are quiet.... to quiet... me: *le derpin on the omputer* *loud thud heard from outside* me: maybe its just thunder and it will go away. *more more disturbing louder noises heard from out side* me: please be thunder! please? please?? *yet another loud noise followed by muffled cussing and a loud clang!* me:.....my suspicions are now aroused..... *phone rings* me: front desk customer: yes we are in 304 and there are some people fighting on the balcony. me: yes sir i will get right on that! - it was that this time all hell broke loose- me: *looks out in the parking lot to see not one not two but all, yes all of my patio furniture from third floor laying in the parking lot and just then i see a tv fall to the ground* HOLY FUCK! *runs out the door* *screaming that i could hear running up the steps to 3rd floor* "your a piece of shit! i cant brelieve you would smoke my last cigarette you boofalo fuckin squirrel shit eating ass clown" me: holy shit! porkchop is fucking pissed! *arrives out of breath to 3rd floor* HEY HEY HEY! YOU TWO NEED TO KNOCK IT THE FUCK.... *pork chop throws a ash tray at me, just as it passes me i hear it break the sound barrier* me: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! *DUCKS* WTF! LOOK YOU BEST STOP OR IM GOING TO CALL THE COPS! *porkchop is now ignoring me and is attempting to throw her husband off the 3rd floor railing, yes they are hammered drunk* dag: "ima kill you, you sorry fucker! how dare you smoke my last cig!" me: *calls the cops" 911: 911 whats your emergency? me: yes my name is -------- and im at the --------- and there are two indians beating the shit out of each other on my patio 911: sir? me: SEND THE COPS! THE FAT ONE IS TRYING TO EAT THE LITTLE ONE! 911: ok sir units are dispatched and on the way me: *hags up phone and hides in ice room* -about 29 seconds later, two squads show up- me: oh thank god! -by this point the husband was locked in the bathroom narrowly avoiding being eaten, and porkchop was dragging out all the furniture on to the patio saying all the while " your ass can live outside just like that chicken of yours!" me: wtf does that even mean! - cops arrive on the balcony to find me hiding in the ice room and porkchop the great white grizzly bear destroying the room- cops- mam, your under arrest for destruction of property and DIP (drunk in pubic) dag: *grabs a remote off the table and squares up to fight.....i shit you not...* cops: *circling the enraged wildebeest, one goes in for the kill and nails a lucky blow to the back of her knee and she drops like a 900 pound bag of booze, shit and regret* your going to jail! me: oh snap! 20 mins later after filling out a report cops: ok have a nice night. me: wa....wait, whos going to help me clean..... cops: no me... *leaves* so there i sat, parking lot covered in furniture, 3rd floor could legally be turned into fema for government aid and 302 completely destroyed. me: *looks around......locks the doors and goes home*

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