#and miller liked the post too

[barzyhughes]

quinn and brock reposting peteys extension is so special to me

[piningpercussionist]

As densely packed as I could tolerate making it- Roxie doodles! (Vast majority of these are from several weeks ago I'm not gonna lie,,)

[shrublee]

erm- im just gonna leave this here-

[dootznbootz]

Odysseus was afraid the entire year on Aeaea in the Odyssey.

Content warnings: Rape, Sexual Coercion, Sexual assault, Sex Work, power dynamics, this will also be long as fuck as I talk too much. This is NOT a "Circe the Goddess Hate Post". I call her out but that's it. I tried to keep this neutral but still making a point (Let me know if I gotta put more)

Lots of lovely folks on here have written great essays on what Calypso did to Odysseus as it's soooo blatantly obvious there. It literally states how he cried every day and how he flinched from Calypso, very straightforward on how he was explicitly raped.

But I've noticed that a lot of people are always iffy about Circe's situation (understandably so, it's not so in your face.) She's usually always mentioned in the "Odysseus never cheated! He was raped!" posts but then the evidence is only ever given against Calypso, and then mentioning how you can't say no or disobey the orders of an immortal and how it was in exchange for freeing his men.

WHICH IS ALL CORRECT!!! But!!!

There ARE immortal/mortal couples who genuinely love each other. Dionysus and Ariadne, and Eros and Psyche are examples. Apollo and Hyacinthus. Psyche indeed becomes immortal eventually and in some versions, both Hyacinthus and Ariadne do too. But even while mortal themselves, their immortal lovers still remained respectful and loving towards them and definitely doted on them. There are definitely power dynamics at play here but there's some nuance.

Odysseus and Circe's relationship, however, is very different. We all know he slept with her at the very least once. And that was in exchange for his men being returned to humans. That was the only time it was explicitly stated. With Calypso, it tells you every night he was enchanted and slept beside her. It was the narrator speaking but Odysseus is the narrator now and it's his story. If you think he lied, this probably won't change your mind anyway.

But even if it was a one-time thing, (which isn't the only interpretation and I will have points that talk about others) then why did he stay a year? What was he doing?

I'm doing a deep dive into the year he spent on Aeaea based on evidence in Book 10 and then the beginning of Book 12. Step by step, and honestly I'm writing this for Tumblr, not as a thesis so I will be a bit more casual but still using sources. To me, it's very obvious that he was uncomfortable throughout the text simply based on the language that is used. But it's very subtle and not an outright statement of "He's been crying every day."

BTW, just so we're clear, this is not a "Circe is the root of all evil, etc." type of post.

This isn't meant to villainize her. She's an immortal being and in mythology that changes things. Everybody is morally gray. I genuinely think if we were to ask her feelings on it, she'd probably be like "Oh, yeah! Turned his men into pigs! Strange little man he was." I don't think she gave a flying fuck.

I just simply get pissed tf off when people think Odysseus was fine. It honestly disturbs me how often I'll go on other websites YouTube and see everyone call him a whore and a womanizer. It's sexism at its finest because 1.) "MaN AlwAyS wAnTs sEx" and 2.) women can't rape/coerce. THIS IS SIMPLY TO LOOK INTO HIS FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

This is also only for Homer's Odyssey, using different translations. If you want to discuss this, (I'd be happy to! Just be nice!) DON'T BRING UP ANY OTHER WORKS.

With all that out of the way, come yell with me 🤗

I've read multiple translations, as I know there's going to be bias depending on who's translating. And having done so, each one has basically the same situations described the same so that's nice for consistency. Also, there are some parts in the story that are vague and that we'll never have answers to.

Odysseus first simply sees the smoke from her chimney and then sends his men in, after drawing lots Eurylochus leads half of the men to check out the house. I mentioned here vaguely how the 2 immortals he sleeps with are both introduced while singing and weaving, which could be seen as an enchantment (which to me is most likely. They both possess magic and are goddesses). So I'm just gonna move past that. Just take a peek and come back or just know that enchantment was likely.

Next, I'll see people often joke on Tumblr about how

"Odysseus says that Polites is his best friend yet only mentions him once!"

I think Odysseus mentions his best friend, the one to jubilantly go in first, to show WHY he would go through with this. How much these comrades mean to him. That's his best friend, and there are approximately 20 others who are now pigs as well. Could you knowingly leave one of your best friends to live a life like that knowing you could've done something?

[...]Circe—and deep inside they heard her singing, lifting her spellbinding voice as she glided back and forth at her great immortal loom, her enchanting web a shimmering glory only goddesses can weave. Polites, captain of armies, took command, the closest, most devoted man I had: ‘Friends, there’s someone inside, plying a great loom, and how she sings—enthralling! The whole house is echoing to her song. Goddess or woman—let’s call out to her now!’ So he urged and the men called out and hailed her. She opened her gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting them all in, and in they went, all innocence.

(Fagles, Book 10)

In the Odyssey, it's never mentioned why she turns people into animals. I think they were turned into pigs because, throughout the Iliad and Odyssey, Odysseus is often associated with boars. His men are associated with him, therefore: 🐖 Piggy. From what we know, the lads were just eating her food. With how much Xenia and hospitality are a large part of the story, they probably thought they were safe. They were GUESTS. This is especially welcome after the Cyclops and the Laestrygonians. And it literally says "All innocence". They were simply naive.

Then Eurylochus runs back, so terrified that he couldn't speak at first. He then begs Odysseus to just leave the men behind. Odysseus has shown that he does TRY to save his men when it is truly not reckless to do so.

But I shot back, ‘Eurylochus, stay right here, eating, drinking, safe by the black ship. I must be off. Necessity drives me on.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Then the famous warning from Hermes. I've seen folks bring this up when talking about this. YES, he is literally commanded by Hermes to not refuse her if he wants his men back in basically every translation. It sounds like Circe was warned as well. When? We don't know, but it sounds like Hermes didn't pick "sides" here.

Strange that he was still like, "Sleep with each other" to both, because he could've been like, "Circe, there's this guy named Odysseus. When he comes to this island, change his men back." But who knows, maybe it was Circe's idea from the beginning and Hermes went along with it. Just food for thought.

Now here’s your plan of action, step by step. The moment Circe strikes with her long thin wand, you draw your sharp sword sheathed at your hip and rush her fast as if to run her through! She’ll cower in fear and coax you to her bed— but don’t refuse the goddess’ bed, not then, not if she’s to release your friends and treat you well yourself. But have her swear the binding oath of the blessed gods she’ll never plot some new intrigue to harm you, once you lie there naked— never unman you, strip away your courage!’

(Fagles, Book 10)

But that doesn't explain why he was there for a year afterward! Nor if he himself was okay with it, which is what I'm trying to delve into as he wasn't.

Also the knife thing? She's still immortal. It was meant to startle her. Her dad is Helios. Odysseus would've been toast, literally.

Also note this exchange wasn't a "Yippee! Hermes says I'm going to get laid!".

...just approaching the halls of Circe, my heart a heaving storm at every step, paused at her doors, the nymph with lovely braids— I stood and shouted to her there. She heard my voice, she opened the gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting me in, and in I went, all anguish now …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Another translation by Ian Johnston, (they all say the same thing essentially but trying to make a point.)

I continued on to Circe’s home. As I moved on, my heart was turning over many gloomy thoughts. After I had walked up to the gateway                                                of fair-haired Circe’s house, I just stood there and gave a shout. The goddess heard my voice.                      She came out at once, opened her bright doors, and invited me inside. I entered, heart full of misgivings.

HE👏WAS👏SCARED! The tone is solemn and suspenseful. He was just told that without Hermes' help with the root, he wouldn't be able to survive and bring back his men. Circe was dangerous.

He made her swear not to harm him.

Straightaway she began to swear the oath that I required—never, she’d never do me harm—and when she’d finished, then, at last, I mounted Circe’s gorgeous bed …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Please note that she NEVER promised that to his men. His comrades did NOT have moli in their systems. He had no way of truly ensuring their safety in any way from Circe.

He then refuses to eat or speak, literally "lost in grim forebodings". If he "just got laid", then why isn't he happy? Not many men can say that a goddess CHOSE to have sex with them. He did it to get his men turned back. It was an exchange. I don't think Circe is "Evil" so maybe it slipped her mind. Or yes, she could've thought, "Hey, I got what I wanted. He's handsome enough. Homer never shuts up about how hot this guy is He hasn't brought up the pigs yet. I'll just let this play out. Maybe HE forgot. I don't have to do anything." We don't know. But Odysseus probably felt like he got deceived.

"Hey, I did my part of the deal. I slept with you. Now do yours."

She pressed me to eat. I had no taste for food. I just sat there, mind wandering, far away … lost in grim forebodings. As soon as Circe saw me, huddled, not touching my food, immersed in sorrow, she sidled near with a coaxing, winged word: ‘Odysseus, why just sit there, struck dumb, eating your heart out, not touching food or drink? Suspect me of still more treachery? Nothing to fear. Haven’t I just sworn my solemn, binding oath?’

So she asked, but I protested, ‘Circe— how could any man in his right mind endure the taste of food and drink before he’d freed his comrades-in-arms and looked them in the eyes? If you, you really want me to eat and drink, set them free, all my beloved comrades— let me feast my eyes.’ So I demanded.

(Fagles, Book 10)

He doesn't trust her despite what she had told him that he should when they sleep together. He has figured out that while she will not hurt him, his men were not a part of that oath, the men he was trying to protect in the first place.

She is then moved by how they rejoice when they see one another again. While turning people into animals for funsies isn't cool and coercion is fucked up, I think she comes to see this group as not quite friends but I think she did find them entertaining in a way.

This is very strange but I've seen some folks say that since Odysseus was pissed at Eurylochus for still not believing him about Circe is proof that "Oh he was trying to defend her!". Which??? Uh, Eurylochus was literally questioning his leadership as a whole. Calling him reckless and shit. He is captain and he's the King, he can't let that shit slide. The text literally says "Mutinous". Also if I had to sleep with someone I did not want to especially if it was to save my friends and I got called names afterward I'd get fucking pissed too.

Only Eurylochus tried to hold my shipmates back, his mutinous outburst aimed at one and all: ‘Poor fools, where are we running now? Why are we tempting fate?— why stumble blindly down to Circe’s halls? She’ll turn us all into pigs or wolves or lions made to guard that palace of hers—by force, I tell you— just as the Cyclops trapped our comrades in his lair with hotheaded Odysseus right beside them all— thanks to this man’s rashness they died too!

They stay a year. Again it's never stated that Odysseus slept with her that whole time. You could interpret that. (Honestly, I feel Circe would get bored with him? She's a goddess, she's got more important matters than mortal men. And she definitely doesn't love him.)

His men DO have to bring it up that "Odysseus has forgotten his native land." Maybe they thought they could sneak out without her knowing??? I am fucking REACHING but hold on as Telemachus did because he knew Nestor would well, be Nestor and try to coax him with "Have a meal with us! Let me tell you about how badass I used to be in my youth." But to sneak away from a goddess? Without her permission? That won't end too well. Aeolus in the beginning kicked out Odysseus when he tried to ask for another bag of wind. If she didn't want him around, she could literally boot him out. While she didn't force him to stay like Calypso did, she didn't "release" him either.

We don't know if they've been asking for a long time. Odysseus does say to Circe that they have been begging him nonstop, but he could also be saying that to try and convince her. He's good at persuasion. I think while he knew he could rely on her for food, shelter, and good advice, he still didn't feel...SAFE with her. I think he was possibly avoiding her personally.

I think HOW he asks her to leave is important to know as well.

...but I went up to that luxurious bed of Circe’s, hugged her by the knees and the goddess heard my winging supplication: ‘Circe, now make good a promise you gave me once— it’s time to help me home. My heart longs to be home, my comrades’ hearts as well. They wear me down, pleading with me whenever you’re away.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Throughout all of Homer's works, the characters grasp another's knees when they are desperate and are literally at the other person's mercy. Priam did when begging Achilles for Hector's body back. The man who literally killed his son and was defiling his body by dragging it around. Leodes grabs Odysseus' knees to beg for his life before Ody kills him. If he saw her as a friend, and not a captor, WHY DID HE FEEL THE NEED TO BEG IN ORDER TO LEAVE?! No one, who is in a healthy relationship, has to BEG for permission to leave. Or to "Break up", if you interpret them as still sleeping together.

And even Circe acknowledges that he is there against his will!

‘Royal son of Laertes, Odysseus, old campaigner, stay on no more in my house against your will.

(Fagles, Book 10)

[...]Odysseus, man of many resources, scion of Zeus, son of Laertes, don’t stay here a moment longer against your will

(A.S. Kline, Book 10)

This is probably another reach that you can ignore but the whole "they wear me down", could be trying to appease her. "Look, you're REALLY cool, it's actually my crew that wants to leave hahahah please don't kill them"

I mentioned before how Telemachus snuck away from Nestor but that was simply out of necessity because he needed to go home now. Not rest for the night. NOW. Nestor is just everyone's grandpa. Menelaus kind of talked more but Telemachus is very straight up in "Please I have to go now" and Menelaus immediately got things ready for him. He never has to beg and clasp his knees. Telemachus was never afraid. Menelaus is a fun uncle and Helen is your cool auntie.

Back to Circe! She tells him instructions for the underworld, they were in her bedroom. But that might've been the only way to speak with her. As even Penelope is usually away from the suitors when they are in her halls, Circe may have done the same. The text never states she played hostess physically. If she was hosting in the halls during the day, why did Odysseus wait until night to talk to her? He could've just asked her while she was on her throne in front of everyone. (He did so with the Phaeacians)

Or maybe he went alone because she only swore an oath to not harm him and so he didn't want his men near if she decided she didn't want to let them go. I could be missing something here so feel free to say something. Idk if this was a pride thing on how "I don't want others to see me beg".

She has info he needs in order to go home as well. She tells him to go to the Underworld.

She gave him new fine clothes and put on pretty clothes herself but that doesn't mean they had sex. Nausicaa gave him nice clothes as well but he never slept with her.

Then he leaves. Immediately. Not even doing a headcount as he didn't realize one of his men had died. (That was negligence on his part but he wanted out) He booked it, to the UNDERWORLD BY THE WAY. Circe even had to sneak the animals he needed for the sacrifice. Odysseus even basically said "She's a goddess. She can do things mortals can't" at the end of the book. And it almost feels...Numb? Solemn? Neutral? Gives a "It is what it is" vibe.

But Circe got to the dark hull before us, tethered a ram and black ewe close by— slipping past unseen. Who can glimpse a god who wants to be invisible gliding here and there?

(Fagles, Book 10)

She’d slipped past us with ease, for who can see a god move back and forth, if she has no desire to be observed?

(Johnston, Book 10)

She's a goddess. She has magic. She can do whatever the fuck she wants.

NOW ON TO BOOK 12!!! That was long! GET A SNACK AND WATER! LUCKILY THIS'LL BE SHORTER!

In Book 11, Odysseus swears, upon all his loved ones in Ithaca, to Elpenor that he'd give him a proper burial as he's been "unwept, unburied". So in Book 12, he sails back to Aeaea to fulfill his promise.

But you know what's funny to me?

He didn't tell Circe he was there.

He didn't even go to greet Circe himself. He sent his men to go get Elpenor's body.

The biggest clue that he didn't love/trust her is that if she was his "Affair partner" then why not go see her for "one last night together"?

SHE came out herself and pulled him aside to know what happened and then gave more advice.

I dispatched some men to Circe’s halls to bring the dead Elpenor’s body. [...]

Nor did our coming back from Death escape Circe— she hurried toward us, decked in rich regalia, handmaids following close with trays of bread and meats galore and glinting ruddy wine. [...]

But Circe, taking me by the hand, drew me away from all my shipmates there and sat me down and lying beside me probed me for details

(Fagles, Book 12)

In every translation, it talks about how he sits, and she lounges/lies down. That's not sex 🙃 In some translations, it even says he tried to be with his shipmates but she pulled him away!

So we lay down and slept beside our ship’s stern cables. But Circe took me by the hand and led me away, some distance from the crew. She made me sit, while she stretched out beside me on the ground. 

(Johnston, Book 12)

Then, she gives advice about the sirens, Charybdis, Scylla, and her father's Cattle. He tries to ask if he could save all his men. She scolds him for even thinking he could try. He again books it out of there.

I think we all know it wasn't "love". But I think a lot of people think Odysseus was willing and happy with whatever this was. "Friends with Benefits", if you will. I guess you could see it that way but I will say that makes me feel itchy with the whole power dynamic and fear. I don't think folks who have that arrangement have to beg on their knees to ask if they can leave though.

I mean the entirety of Book 10 gives me the vibes of "Laughing uncomfortably because you don't want to upset the other person". To just grin and bear it.

A lot of this was just putting the text here and picking it apart step by step. What you do with this is up to you. It's rambling while banging pots and pans together.

Maybe you see him as drugged the entire year and still sleeping together, as the moli "wore off". Even then, just because her magic can't affect him, there are plenty of natural concoctions that can be created that can affect mortals.

Maybe you see the entire year as sex work in exchange for shelter and food.

Maybe he was just alongside his men the whole time under her roof and was avoiding her after the exchange. After he got asked by his men to finally leave, he would start to walk up to that room only to freeze and turn around, thinking "One more day won't hurt. Should wait until I know she's in a sympathetic mood".

I beg of you, however, PLEASE understand that there was fear and coercion throughout his entirety on Aeaea. He wasn't staying to get laid. While there is so much going on and too many things that are left vague to really know exactly what happened, it is consistent that he was scared/numb. Lots of people go through with things they don't really want to do just to appease others. There are plenty of situations of sexual trauma where one person goes through something and the other has no idea the other person isn't okay. ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE CAN HARM THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT AT ANY MOMENT!

Sexual trauma is a very complicated thing and while he was scared, he definitely wasn't as traumatized by her as he was by Calypso. Calypso was a torturous hell while Circe was a year of walking on eggshells. Not comparable but I still think it should be acknowledged. It's wild because I read the Odyssey and kept thinking "Y'all are calling the sex slave a cheater? The guy who slept with a goddess to get his men back? The ultimate simp apparently doesn't love his wife??"

Things I'm adding that shouldn't affect the argument as it is not in the Odyssey but I want to mention as it's a "fun fact": Odysseus' dad was an Argonaut. Laertes probably met Circe as well, (or knew of her) with the whole purifying thing and maybe Odysseus heard his dad tell stories of her. Later myths also have Circe with the habit of turning her crushes (or their lovers) into something with Scylla and Picus.

In conclusion, Yeah, he was afraid of her. At least to an extent. And don't pull the whole "Ancient men didn't get raped". Male victims exist and deserve compassion for what was done to them and women are capable of sexual abuse. If you think otherwise, you are not a true feminist and Fuck you. I said in the beginning this'll be casual and I don't wanna write a fancy ending. You can still think Circe is neat but you have to know that this was fucked up.

If you think a lot of this is bullshit or wanna give more context or wish to yell with me but still know he wasn't alright on Aeaea, cool. If you want to point out mistakes or something I should keep in mind with interpretations then feel free to say so but give text evidence. If you try and bring up the Telegony and/or Madeline Miller's Circe, fuck clean off. This is Homer. If you call Odysseus a whore and not the malewife he canonically is I'll start biting. 😤

[crossthread]

Okay I swear to God I hope the directors of avatar (the alien movie) sees this post somehow but the whole reason the way of water flopped so badly is cause it was written over 10 years ago. So I like avatar. I thought it was a cool concept and good characters and overall a solid action movie. But the characterisation is just a dacade old man. It's really outdated. It instantly turned me off when Jake was seen to be a 'hardass' to his kids, and having them call him Sir, and have Neytiri taking kind of a secondary role as the 'peacekeeper' parent who goes 'but your dad loves you, he just wants you safe' bullshit trope that's just really not what this generation is looking for rn.

Emotionally mature parents is what's on topic rn. Dad's that step up and know what they're doing and don't have the 2000s 'military hardass emotionally distant' bullcrap. Just look at all the other movies and shows with family themes that did really fucking well. The Last of Us. Ultraman: Rising. Nimona. Even Maleficent, which I think is one of the earliest movies of this trope that's well known. They did well for a reason. You can't make Jake Sully a bad father and think the current audience will dig it. All of his kids, one way or another felt the pressure of living up to their dad's expectations, and im sure, whether he really loves them. And I assure you for all intents and purposes it felt like Neteyam died thinking he wasnt enough. You can't have those 'your dad loves you but he just doesn't know how to show it' bullshit anymore and expect the audience to like or even relate to that character cause a lot of us don't take that shit anymore from our own parents. A lot of millennials are actively trying to be present and good parents to their kids. So yeah. The way Jake Sully, and to a certain extent, Neytiri were characterised is probably one of the biggest reasons this entire movie flopped. It could have been great. But it isn't. And I kind of hate it actually.

My point is: if there's gonna be a third movie, the best bet to make sure it doesn't follow the way of waters footsteps is to overhaul a lot of the characterisation and plot. See what the audience wants rn, and what they audience relates to. It was clear the writing to that movie was old as balls and gen z or gen alpha don't take that shit man. Give us good parents

Edit: okay as someone pointed it out it wasn't actually a 'flop' flop because they grossed by over a billion or smth in the box office I think but to be fair half this post has been sitting in my drafts for like 2 years and I wrote this soon after I watched it back then, and a LOT of people werent that happy with it. But yall know what I mean. I waited for this movie for 10 years and all I felt was this low simmering disappointment because it could have been so good, but it wasn't.

[itsokbbygrl]

Proper Education Masterlist A Dark!Joel x reader/OC Saltburn Inspired AU

Prologue:

Our tale begins in a far off land, under the burning heat of a Texan sun. Two lives irrevocably changed—one by love, the other, obsession.  The dangerous naivete of youth combusting when exposed to the fire of envy,  A flame fueled by privilege, ineffable wealth, beauty, and lust so consumes  Our star-crossed pair, until all that remains is this— Is there such a thing as fate? Or merely the calculated hunt of a greater predator?

Inspired by this song and written to this soundtrack.

Chapter 1: Fair is Foul, and Foul is Fair Chapter 2: coming 3/22 at 7pm CT Chapter 3: Chapter 4: Chapter 5: EPILOGUE:

follow and click "get notifications" at @itsokbbygrl-notifs for updates sent via push notification. new chapters to be published every other friday around 7pm CT as real life allows. this story will be 18+ and consist of mature content and dark themes. reader beware. additional warnings will be added as published.

tagging some mutuals who may be interested in reading: @swiftispunk @5oh5 @merci-killing @javierpena-inatacvest @mermaidgirl30 @sawymredfox @joelsgreenflannel @tightjeansjavi @netherfeildren @survivingandenduring

[skishie]

drew @hydatiid ‘s versions of them,,,, 

[jetlaggingbehind]

listen to me. in a swap au ramona's knives would NOT be matthew. matthew got over his heartbreak fairly easily once he had his own musical to perform on and knives does not have that kind of emotional resilience in the face of scott's shittiness she is seventeen years of age. matthew would more likely be like kim or something. he's hiding stuff and he never got closure but at least he has a healthy outlet for his emotions which helps him come to terms with it in some sense. knives would be ROXY. heartbreak central.

[toxickeyboard]

Gay freaks 💙❤️ /aff

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

No, but it does give you back some control, Kaz. Which honestly is an understandable feeling to want to have. But thinking about it, what’s gotta be worse than being both grounded-and in excruciating pain with much less function than he had previously?

Loss of control.

Even if I go with my headcanon of the capture being an organized thing between himself and Ocelot-that doesn’t mitigate it being traumatic or bad.

(Which obviously, is just a headcanon/theory: nothing I say in any of these posts is 100% proven canonically, this is just my own thoughts after all from context we receive within the game).

Anyway.

Taking aside the other factors (artificial limbs aren’t a guarantee that it makes things better, or easier. Extra weight, difficulties etc) thinking of the kind of personality Kaz has; that of a high-strung man eager to find his place and exert power over others (and if not power, then something akin to it, or mingled with other elements) a core element in that is control.

Being the one in charge. Someone who has enough of a position of authority to exert his will unto others. Whether that word comes from himself or Snake, he’s at the helm somehow.

After Kaz is rescued, he’s open about exactly how he’s feeling-

And honestly, a single look at himself, or even just how much pain he has got to be in on a day-to-day basis would tell him that he really doesn’t need to focus on that in order to remember. Frankly, I think he’d have a much harder time forgetting. After all, it’s been 9 years since the attack, and he’s still fueled so strongly by hate and revenge that it’s on his mind 24/7. Nothing else occurs to him, ever.

Angry enough that even after weeks in captivity, he’s fuming and chomping at the bit to get going again.

Sir the only thing you should be right now is unconscious.

But there is really only so much vulnerability a single person can take. Let alone someone like him.

Kicks help away.

If he’s in pain, it’s more than just a reminder. It serves as the one thing he has left to master. To be in charge of. Pain meds wouldn’t take all of it away. But it would ease it. Bionics wouldn’t take all of it away, but it might (or might not) help him. If he says ‘no’ to all of this, then he’s the one with the final say. Logically, it doesn’t make the most sense. After all, you can’t think or function properly in pain the way you could out of it.

Believe me I know.

I rely on aids myself, from time to time. I was a daily cane user for most of university.

A wheelchair for another trip. 

And there’s absolutely an argument to be made, that if he did take assistance. Help. That if he did get himself in less pain then he’d actually be exerting more control in the situation because now he’s the one that’s got a handle on it. He’s the one that took it back and brought it back to himself. Into a place where it no longer dominates him, but he dominates it.

But the longer he’s in pain, the angrier he can stay. Not to mention it provides an excuse for the anger. Now he’s not just in control of himself (so he thinks anyway, I’d argue the point with him myself if he was a living thing I could speak too) but kept mad and spitting. Mad enough to kill Skull Face, mad enough to keep going and going. Fueling his fire with self grown coals.

Because without that pain, that anger. Also comes loss.

Grief is one of the central themes to MGSV (a whole other post to be honest).  Grief and anger often times go hand and hand. Kaz isn’t a good person with good morals at the end of the day. A man who was so eternally displaced with his position in the world from the day of his birth, and really until his death that his solution was things like nation states and war economies. But you don’t have to be a good person, or a saint, to have been wronged in some fashion.

He's never been shy about admitting exactly what kind of person he is (in this regard, anyway)

And is there not, end of day, a large element of control rooted in things like this?

These are the sorts of ideologies Kaz holds: in his own words.

Like this:

Or this.

His lead, and Kaz's. (Since it's Kaz talking here that is not what is outright stated, but it's clear enough what Kaz might want, within these situations).

(One could also argue this is just morally corrupt people taking care of other morally corrupt people but that’d be a derailment. Another post would have to delve into that as well).

When he lost everything-his home, his limbs, he lost key elements of his control that he worked so brutally to build. Whatever scrap of it he can cling to and maintain, he will.

Obviously, Kaz is in a different place (and undoubtedly frame of mind by the 90’s) but in the 80’s, he’s holding strong to pain, grief, anger, and loss. Because if he lets go of the things that keep him fueled and furious, then all that’s left is all-encompassing grief.

And that must feel a whole lot harder to deal with to him (I’d think anyway) than being raging and fuming.

[the-acid-pear]

Send these to my ex and captioned them with "look at these parallels, boy 😈"

[blackberrydeer]

[mal-lay]

Ezekiel😁

This is a few months old probably like 5 months. 😵‍💫At first I was going to make all of the characters do it in elimination order but I change my mind because I forgot about it and this is the only drawing I’m actually proud of. Or this was probably a comic idea.

I have like 100 art styles lol. I’ll probably do all the gen 1 total drama characters in my style a different way.

Smiley. Happy Ezekiel !!😁

[dootznbootz]

I went on tiktok to just watch some silly Odysseus videos but then I mostly saw people going like "Yeah, maybe Odysseus cried on Calypso' island every day but honestly he had that coming after what he did Achilles and Patroclous/Circe!!!" and "Everything that happens in Odyssey is deserved cuz he took Patrochilles to war!!!" and "I feel so bad for Circe and Calypso and Penelope, they deserved better!!!"

For fucks sake I beg you, read anything different from Millers bs and like educate yourself- And please stop goddamn saying that rape victim. deserved it.

Circe probably didn't give a flying fuck, Calypso is a rapist and abuser and Penelope deserved everything she wanted and SHE WANTED ODYSSEUS

I think I've had enough internet for today, imma go wash my eyes with bleach. Anyways sorry for ranting here, i hope you don't mind it lmao

It's alright. I absolutely understand the vents about the whole thing. :'D No one deserves to be a victim of such a thing no matter WHAT they've done. I hope your eyes are okay after the bleach

Like Odysseus does so many fucked up things but Calypso and Circe? He is the victim. Period. It's very clear that Odysseus is in extreme distress on Ogygia. And Circe wasn't some sort of FwB situation. There's fear and numbness in the language he uses when talking about it. There's so much victim blaming and it SUCKS.

Even then, Odysseus' journey was kind of about "temptation" or just straight up "Die or get out of my sea." From Poseidon. "I don't want you in my waters so I'm gonna try and give you things that will keep you on land or just kill you."

Immortal goddesses wanting you would be many people's dream come true but not for Odysseus. And I think that's the point. His determination, how he clawed his way back into the arms he never wanted to leave in the first place, is incredible. Many people would've given up and just started a new life but he never would because no life he could ever create would compare to the life he had before. Even if it's different, it's what he's always wanted.

He literally tells Calypso "I'm not stopping until I'm home. I don't care if I suffer more until I do. I'm going home."

“Mighty goddess, do not be angry with me over this. I myself know very well Penelope, although intelligent, is not your match                                          to look at, not in stature or in beauty. But she’s a human being and you’re a god. You’ll never die or age. But still I wish, every moment to get back to my home,                                                       to see the day of my return. And so, even if out there on the wine-dark sea some god breaks me apart, I will go on— the heart here in my chest is quite prepared to bear affliction. I’ve already had so many troubles, and I’ve worked so hard                                  through waves and warfare. Let what’s yet to come be added in with those.”

(Book 5, Johnston)

Circe's a goddess and what happened is nothing like Dionysus and Ariadne and Apollo and Hyacinthus for example. Circe never gave Odysseus a crown of stars and he would never go out of his way to kill 120 people for bothering her. They did not love each other and he can't refuse as she's a goddess.

If you interpret them sleeping together the entire year,(It's only explicitly said that they had sex once so that's what I go with personally.) that doesn't mean he was happy with it! Even then, the whole situation is not what a healthy FwB should look like! I'm asexual and even I know that no one in a FwB situation should have to BEG in any way that basically says "Please let me go or kill me" with supplication!!! The fact that he leaves so quickly he forgets one of his men? The fact that during Elpenor's funeral, he doesn't greet Circe himself? He was avoiding her. Wouldn't he want to get "one last night together" during Book 12 if they were fwb? 🙄

It's bonkers to me that people hate him for being a "cheater" when A.) having multiple lovers wasn't uncommon in Ancient Greece, and B.) the two people he is explicitly said to have "cheated" with, weren't his choice. He wasn't actively searching for pretty women either!!!

As mentioned, while it was common for men to have many lovers, Odysseus never had any listed unlike some of the other men. (not bashing any of them. I'm just making a point in comparison.) He also has no other children besides Telemachus in Homer's works. There's no evidence of him having other lovers other than speculation. (funny enough, I once read somewhere that the reason why Odysseus is so mean is because he doesn't "bond" enough with the other soldiers. 😂)

Does that mean he didn't have other lovers? Technically, Nope! It's just never explicitly stated either way. He has slaves but none were ever said to be concubines or that he sleeps with them. He has deep bonds with his fellow soldiers but that doesn't mean he sleeps with them. That doesn't mean people can't write or talk about him doing so even though it's not mentioned! Just like it also means that someone can write him not doing so as there's nothing that says it either way in Homer's Works! :D

It's fucked up when people say "He didn't try to leave Calypso enough" or something of the like. It just tells you how A.) they didn't read the Odyssey or have piss on the poor reading comprehension or B.) ...you should probably stay away from that person...

With Circe though??? I can understand the confusion but digging deeper and looking at the text, he wasn't having a good time. Or at the very least was walking on Eggshells the whole time. I hate bringing up that essay over and over again but like...I literally wrote everything there.

I also don't like how people take Circe's morally gray-ness away from her. Let her do something fucked up to be fucked up!!! Let her traumatize Odysseus!

Idk, I kind of hate that I'm "known" for this but I relate to this idiot asshole a lot and it means a lot to me that his story, despite what happens to him, has a happy ending :'D

[honeyforbees]

"In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood like a hundred golden urns pouring out of the sun."

[morning-star-joy]

a stranger's heart without a home

chapter 13 sneak peek

Pairing: Friends with Benefits Joel x F!Reader

Summary: Joel gets a little jealous when he sees you on a date.

Warnings: Language, Jealousy, Alcohol Use, References to Sexual Situations (full work has Explicit Smut 18+)

Wordcount: 2.3k

A/N: I hit 100 followers on here so I figured I'd post a little scene from the next update of my Joel x Reader fic. Full chapter coming on ao3 this weekend!! (and I'll post the second part of this scene here when I update!)

part 1 || part 2 || full chapter || masterlist

Full work on ao3

Joel glared half-heartedly at his brother as he was dragged by the younger man to The Tipsy Bison, his brows furrowed at Tommy’s cheerfulness that almost left a bounce in his step as they walked under the streetlights.

“Is there a reason why you’re in such a good mood?” Joel drawled, though his tone was teasing as he arched an eyebrow at Tommy’s annoyed huff.

“Just doing a little recon,�� Tommy muttered with a sly smirk, which only increased Joel’s cautious curiosity when they walked through the doors to the bar.

Joel had only made it a few steps into the bar when Tommy’s hand clamped down on his shoulder, pulling him to the side, maneuvering on the outskirts of the room to find a table in the back.

“Now you’re just being weird,” Joel muttered, to which Tommy rolled his eyes as he sat at the small table and got the attention of a nearby waitress, greeting the woman by name and exchanging a few pleasant words before ordering their drinks.

“Been that way for a long time, big brother,” Tommy replied smoothly, sending a wink towards Joel at the older man’s annoyance, to which Joel scoffs.

“Yeah, sure,” Joel mumbled, his brows still furrowed as he glanced away out towards the room, as if he could ascertain why Tommy had been so eager to come out tonight.

The bar was less busy than it was during the height of summer, but there were still a fair amount of people out tonight. They were probably trying to catch those last warm nights before autumn fully arrived, and Joel’s fingers tapped against the table as he scanned the groups and individuals for anything out of place.

His search was interrupted when the waitress returned, placing glasses filled with familiar amber liquid in front of them. Tommy thanked them kindly, and Joel’s nod and quiet murmur of “thank you, ma’am” was followed by a blush on the waitress’ face, her gaze lingering on Joel a bit longer than necessary before she left to the next table.

Joel noticed it, but he ignored it, lifting his glass to his lips for a sip, even as Tommy smirked at him.

After a moment where Tommy’s smirk didn’t waver, Joel sighed, glancing up at his brother with an annoyed, “What?”

Tommy shrugged, leaning back in his chair as he lifted his own glass for a sip.

“Nothing, nothing…” Tommy brushed off, and Joel shook his head, deciding to ignore his brother’s cryptic smirk until the younger man spoke again, “I mean, you gotta know that the ladies around town are curious about you, right?”

“Shut up,” Joel replied bluntly, taking another sip of his drink as Tommy let out a bark of laughter.

“Come on, I’m being serious!” Tommy grinned, leaning in to rest his elbows on the table, meeting Joel’s unamused expression with one of pure entertainment at the topic. “Maria has heard them whispering. They think you’re hard to get, and some see that as a challenge.”

Joel scoffed, shaking his head again as he glanced away from Tommy’s gaze as it became curious at Joel’s quick dismissiveness. 

“Well, they ain’t gonna win that one,” Joel found himself muttering, his grip tightening around his glass as a familiar face flashed through his mind, and he stiffened before taking another large sip of his drink.

When he turned back, Tommy had only grown more curious, but Joel cut off whatever his brother was about to say quickly as he asked, “So what exactly are we doing recon for tonight, baby brother?”

Tommy scoffed, muttering an annoyed “pendejo” under his breath, but his tone was affectionate before his gaze sweeps across the room.

“Ah,” Tommy exhaled, a satisfied smirk spreading across his face as he looked back at Joel, gesturing with his head in the direction of whatever had caught his attention as he muttered, “at your three o’clock.”

Joel’s frown grew, suddenly feeling uncertain at Tommy’s clear smugness as he followed the direction given to find whatever his brother had been looking at.

And when he saw it, his entire body tensed up, grip tightening around his glass as his blood ran cold.

Joel didn’t know what he had been expecting to see, but he certainly hadn’t expected it to be her.

The crease between his brow deepened as his eyebrows furrowed, gaze flickering over the small scene that was almost unnoticeable in the grand scheme of the bar that night; but now that Joel’s attention had been brought to it, he couldn’t see anything else. 

Her back was almost completely to him from where she sat at a small table diagonally opposite from their corner in the bar, holding a similar glass to his own in her hands, her gaze focused on the person opposite her. There was a small smile on her face as she nodded at something they said, her legs crossing under the table, the movement drawing Joel’s attention to them, and he froze.

Joel’s gaze slowly dragged up her bare legs, to where the skirt stopped just above her knees, and he felt a sudden flare of an emotion he never thought he would feel again at the sight.

He quickly looked away, straightening in his seat as he glanced back at his brother, thanking God that Tommy was too focused on the pair himself to catch Joel’s reaction.

It’s not like Joel hadn’t known it was coming; she had told him about the situation she had gotten herself into earlier that week, during one of their usual midnight calls. 

“She finally let you set her up, then,” Joel found the words slipping out of his mouth, and he cursed himself for it, lifting his glass to busy himself with drinking so he wouldn’t say anything else stupid.

“Yup. She had to, once I finally got her number,” Tommy said confidently, leaning back in the chair and draping his arm across the back of it, his stance casual and confident.

Joel looked back at him, finally lowering his glass. “What do you mean?”

Tommy took a long sip from his own drink, looking far too smug for Joel’s liking, and he finally began to understand what she had meant when she had accused the men of having a ‘stupid, smug Miller look’.

Finally, Tommy lifted his glass to gesture towards her with it, and Joel’s gaze flashed back to her, his hand on the table clenching into a fist as he saw that she was still smiling.

“She’s been seeing someone,” Tommy said simply, and Joel’s eyes widened a fraction as they flashed back to his brother. “For a few months, apparently. She denies it, but…”

He trailed off with a shrug, looking back to meet Joel’s gaze just as the older man managed to put his guard back up, revealing no hint of how much the words had thrown him off.

“How d’you figure?” Joel asked, forcing his tone to remain neutral, his posture casual as he watched his brother’s expression closely over the top of his glass.

Tommy only smirked before cryptically replying, “I have my ways.”

Joel tried to suppress the chill of trepidation he felt at that response. He told himself that it was fine, that Tommy hadn’t caught on to the fact that Joel was the one seeking her out. 

If Tommy had figured it out, Joel was sure his younger brother would be jumping across the table by now to strangle him for fucking his closest friend.

“I think she likes them, though,” Tommy spoke softly, and Joel had to lean forward across the table to hear him clearly over the loud conversations surrounding them in the bar.

The words caused a strange feeling to stir within Joel’s chest, but he ignored it for the time being in favor of continuing his line of questioning, caution be damned in that moment.

“Why do this, then?” Joel asked, jerking his chin towards the table where she sat. Her head was tilted to the side now, her chin resting in her hand with that small smile still on her face, and Joel’s stomach twisted unpleasantly before he looked away again.

“Well, either it’ll weed them out…” Tommy started casually, glancing around the room as if he expected to find whoever was the culprit of capturing her attention when, unbeknownst to him, that person was sitting across the table from him now, “...or it’ll confirm my suspicions.”

“Suspicions?” Joel repeated in confusion, glancing back to the man seated across from her, and Joel’s gaze shot back to Tommy as he said in disbelief, “What, Mike? You think she’s been seeing Mike?”

Tommy shrugged, looking over at the serious patrolman who was seated across from her now, a rare smile over the man’s face as he talked to her.

“Well, he’s kind of a hardass, which falls in line with her type,” Tommy chuckled, and Joel stiffened as he looked back down at his cup.

“I suppose based on whatever her…” Joel trailed off, hesitating as he turned the glass in his fingers, “...previous relationships are, you’d know best.”

“Relationships?” Tommy repeated with a laugh. “No, no, she doesn’t do relationships.”

Joel’s brow arched as he glanced back up, his attention now fully captured.

“I only know from her flings,” Tommy explained, waving his hand dismissively. “I know she’s had a few here and there, but she doesn’t pursue anything serious. She’s goddamn stubborn on that matter. Probably left more than one broken heart in her wake”

Joel slowly shifted his attention back to her at the words, his gaze moving along her body as that old familiar feeling stirred again at the revelation that she’s had flings here in town.

When was her last fling? Joel found himself wondering, his grip curling around his glass tighter and tighter as his line of thought continued. How recent was it? Who was it? Did he know them? Has she had one since they started their arrangement?

“Yeah, she likes them too serious for their own good,” Tommy sighed, pulling Joel’s attention back to his brother, and he quickly loosened his grip on his glass as he realized he was starting to hold it so tight that it was close to fracturing. He lifted it for a sip right as Tommy’s next teasing words hit him out of nowhere, “You know, like you.”

Joel choked on the alcohol, coughing loudly into his fist as the glass clattered back down onto the table. He looked back at Tommy in surprise, fear flooding his body as he wondered if Tommy had actually finally put two and fucking two together to figure it out, but he was merely laughing at Joel’s expense in a way only a younger sibling could.

“Relax, I’m fucking with you,” Tommy finally managed to get the words out between his cackling, and Joel scoffed as he sat back in his chair with a hard glare. “Hell would freeze over before you two stood in the same goddamn room together by choice.”

Joel’s gaze flashed back down to his cup, a frown flickering onto his face even as he muttered, “Yeah.”

Tommy’s laughter came to an abrupt halt after that, the man quickly shifting in his seat to face the other way as he hissed under his breath, “Shit, look away.”

“What—”

“Look away!” he repeated in a harsh whisper, staring at the opposite wall, and Joel shifted with a frown.

Despite Tommy’s urgings, Joel did what any true older brother would do, which was the opposite as what their younger sibling told them to do.

Glancing back at the table, he saw her gaze was honed in on them, and Joel quickly shifted, his head whipping around to face the opposite wall with Tommy after making eye contact.

“Fucking hell,” Tommy mumbled, glaring at Joel from the corner of his eye as he accused in a harsh whisper, “you looked, didn’t you?”

“Shut up,” Joel hissed, glaring daggers at the wall ahead of them, both their bodies turned away from her table as much as they could, but surely it was pointless.

There was no doubt that she had seen them now, and Joel was sure both he and Tommy now dreaded whatever hellfire she was about to rain upon them for snooping on her date.

Joel half-expected her hands to come slamming down on their table any moment, her glare deadly as she faced them down from above, but nothing happened.

After another long moment, both brothers shifted awkwardly, glancing at each other nervously before looking back towards her table.

She was gone.

And so was her date.

They began looking around the room, trying to figure out where the pair had gone, when Joel caught a glance of the fabric of that goddamned skirt flaring out from the corner of his eye.

He shifted slightly, following the movement to where she was striding towards the doors, not looking back once as she exited the bar with Mike’s hand on her upper back.

Joel’s blood had run cold by the time Tommy sighed, and he didn’t look back at his younger brother as the man mumbled, “Well, she’s gonna have it in for me for at least a month, now.”

Yeah, Joel couldn’t help but think to himself with a wince, even as his stomach continued to twist uncomfortably while he stared at the now empty table where she had been sitting, smiling, laughing in a fucking skirt on a fucking date. 

Yeah, that probably made two of them.