Tumgik
#and more art of these two just hanging out NSA
wifiwuxians · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
'don't touch me.' 'i'm not. (:'
amazing commission i got from @sparklingpixies that i could not be happier with, seriously look at these boys!!!! i can't stop looking at it, it has so much charm and personality and it's exactly what i wanted...
these two and their endless list of possible shenanigans live rent free in my head
123 notes · View notes
Text
“Disenshittify or Die”
youtube
I'm coming to BURNING MAN! On TUESDAY (Aug 27) at 1PM, I'm giving a talk called "DISENSHITTIFY OR DIE!" at PALENQUE NORTE (7&E). On WEDNESDAY (Aug 28) at NOON, I'm doing a "Talking Caterpillar" Q&A at LIMINAL LABS (830&C).
Tumblr media
Last weekend, I traveled to Las Vegas for Defcon 32, where I had the immense privilege of giving a solo talk on Track 1, entitled "Disenshittify or die! How hackers can seize the means of computation and build a new, good internet that is hardened against our asshole bosses' insatiable horniness for enshittification":
https://info.defcon.org/event/?id=54861
This was a followup to last year's talk, "An Audacious Plan to Halt the Internet's Enshittification," a talk that kicked off a lot of international interest in my analysis of platform decay ("enshittification"):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rimtaSgGz_4
The Defcon organizers have earned a restful week or two, and that means that the video of my talk hasn't yet been posted to Defcon's Youtube channel, so in the meantime, I thought I'd post a lightly edited version of my speech crib. If you're headed to Burning Man, you can hear me reprise this talk at Palenque Norte (7&E); I'm kicking off their lecture series on Tuesday, Aug 27 at 1PM.
==
What the fuck happened to the old, good internet?
I mean, sure, our bosses were a little surveillance-happy, and they were usually up for sharing their data with the NSA, and whenever there was a tossup between user security and growth, it was always YOLO time.
But Google Search used to work. Facebook used to show you posts from people you followed. Uber used to be cheaper than a taxi and pay the driver more than a cabbie made. Amazon used to sell products, not Shein-grade self-destructing dropshipped garbage from all-consonant brands. Apple used to defend your privacy, rather than spying on you with your no-modifications-allowed Iphone.
There was a time when you searching for an album on Spotify would get you that album – not a playlist of insipid AI-generated covers with the same name and art.
Microsoft used to sell you software – sure, it was buggy – but now they just let you access apps in the cloud, so they can watch how you use those apps and strip the features you use the most out of the basic tier and turn them into an upcharge.
What – and I cannot stress this enough – the fuck happened?!
I’m talking about enshittification.
Here’s what enshittification looks like from the outside: First, you see a company that’s being good to its end users. Google puts the best search results at the top; Facebook shows you a feed of posts from people and groups you followl; Uber charges small dollars for a cab; Amazon subsidizes goods and returns and shipping and puts the best match for your product search at the top of the page.
That’s stage one, being good to end users. But there’s another part of this stage, call it stage 1a). That’s figuring out how to lock in those users.
There’s so many ways to lock in users.
If you’re Facebook, the users do it for you. You joined Facebook because there were people there you wanted to hang out with, and other people joined Facebook to hang out with you.
That’s the old “network effects” in action, and with network effects come “the collective action problem." Because you love your friends, but goddamn are they a pain in the ass! You all agree that FB sucks, sure, but can you all agree on when it’s time to leave?
No way.
Can you agree on where to go next?
Hell no.
You’re there because that’s where the support group for your rare disease hangs out, and your bestie is there because that’s where they talk with the people in the country they moved away from, then there’s that friend who coordinates their kid’s little league car pools on FB, and the best dungeon master you know isn’t gonna leave FB because that’s where her customers are.
So you’re stuck, because even though FB use comes at a high cost – your privacy, your dignity and your sanity – that’s still less than the switching cost you’d have to bear if you left: namely, all those friends who have taken you hostage, and whom you are holding hostage
Now, sometimes companies lock you in with money, like Amazon getting you to prepay for a year’s shipping with Prime, or to buy your Audible books on a monthly subscription, which virtually guarantees that every shopping search will start on Amazon, after all, you’ve already paid for it.
Sometimes, they lock you in with DRM, like HP selling you a printer with four ink cartridges filled with fluid that retails for more than $10,000/gallon, and using DRM to stop you from refilling any of those ink carts or using a third-party cartridge. So when one cart runs dry, you have to refill it or throw away your investment in the remaining three cartridges and the printer itself.
Sometimes, it’s a grab bag:
You can’t run your Ios apps without Apple hardware;
you can’t run your Apple music, books and movies on anything except an Ios app;
your iPhone uses parts pairing – DRM handshakes between replacement parts and the main system – so you can’t use third-party parts to fix it; and
every OEM iPhone part has a microscopic Apple logo engraved on it, so Apple can demand that the US Customs and Border Service seize any shipment of refurb Iphone parts as trademark violations.
Think Different, amirite?
Getting you locked in completes phase one of the enshittification cycle and signals the start of phase two: making things worse for you to make things better for business customers.
For example, a platform might poison its search results, like Google selling more and more of its results pages to ads that are identified with lighter and lighter tinier and tinier type.
Or Amazon selling off search results and calling it an “ad” business. They make $38b/year on this scam. The first result for your search is, on average, 29% more expensive than the best match for your search. The first row is 25% more expensive than the best match. On average, the best match for your search is likely to be found seventeen places down on the results page.
Other platforms sell off your feed, like Facebook, which started off showing you the things you asked to see, but now the quantum of content from the people you follow has dwindled to a homeopathic residue, leaving a void that Facebook fills with things that people pay to show you: boosted posts from publishers you haven’t subscribed to, and, of course, ads.
Now at this point you might be thinking ‘sure, if you’re not paying for the product, you’re the product.'
Bullshit!
Bull.
Shit.
The people who buy those Google ads? They pay more every year for worse ad-targeting and more ad-fraud
Those publishers paying to nonconsensually cram their content into your Facebook feed? They have to do that because FB suppresses their ability to reach the people who actually subscribed to them
The Amazon sellers with the best match for your query have to outbid everyone else just to show up on the first page of results. It costs so much to sell on Amazon that between 45-51% of every dollar an independent seller brings in has to be kicked up to Don Bezos and the Amazon crime family. Those sellers don’t have the kind of margins that let them pay 51% They have to raise prices in order to avoid losing money on every sale.
"But wait!" I hear you say!
[Come on, say it!]
"But wait! Things on Amazon aren’t more expensive that things at Target, or Walmart, or at a mom and pop store, or direct from the manufacturer.
"How can sellers be raising prices on Amazon if the price at Amazon is the same as at is everywhere else?"
[Any guesses?!]
That’s right, they charge more everywhere. They have to. Amazon binds its sellers to a policy called “most favored nation status,” which says they can’t charge more on Amazon than they charge elsewhere, including direct from their own factory store.
So every seller that wants to sell on Amazon has to raise their prices everywhere else.
Now, these sellers are Amazon’s best customers. They’re paying for the product, and they’re still getting screwed.
Paying for the product doesn’t fill your vapid boss’s shriveled heart with so much joy that he decides to stop trying to think of ways to fuck you over.
Look at Apple. Remember when Apple offered every Ios user a one-click opt out for app-based surveillance? And 96% of users clicked that box?
(The other four percent were either drunk or Facebook employees or drunk Facebook employees.)
That cost Facebook at least ten billion dollars per year in lost surveillance revenue?
I mean, you love to see it.
But did you know that at the same time Apple started spying on Ios users in the same way that Facebook had been, for surveillance data to use to target users for its competing advertising product?
Your Iphone isn’t an ad-supported gimme. You paid a thousand fucking dollars for that distraction rectangle in your pocket, and you’re still the product. What’s more, Apple has rigged Ios so that you can’t mod the OS to block its spying.
If you’re not not paying for the product, you’re the product, and if you are paying for the product, you’re still the product.
Just ask the farmers who are expected to swap parts into their own busted half-million dollar, mission-critical tractors, but can’t actually use those parts until a technician charges them $200 to drive out to the farm and type a parts pairing unlock code into their console.
John Deere’s not giving away tractors. Give John Deere a half mil for a tractor and you will be the product.
Please, my brothers and sisters in Christ. Please! Stop saying ‘if you’re not paying for the product, you’re the product.’
OK, OK, so that’s phase two of enshittification.
Phase one: be good to users while locking them in.
Phase two: screw the users a little to you can good to business customers while locking them in.
Phase three: screw everybody and take all the value for yourself. Leave behind the absolute bare minimum of utility so that everyone stays locked into your pile of shit.
Enshittification: a tragedy in three acts.
That’s what enshittification looks like from the outside, but what’s going on inside the company? What is the pathological mechanism? What sci-fi entropy ray converts the excellent and useful service into a pile of shit?
That mechanism is called twiddling. Twiddling is when someone alters the back end of a service to change how its business operates, changing prices, costs, search ranking, recommendation criteria and other foundational aspects of the system.
Digital platforms are a twiddler’s utopia. A grocer would need an army of teenagers with pricing guns on rollerblades to reprice everything in the building when someone arrives who’s extra hungry.
Whereas the McDonald’s Investments portfolio company Plexure advertises that it can use surveillance data to predict when an app user has just gotten paid so the seller can tack an extra couple bucks onto the price of their breakfast sandwich.
And of course, as the prophet William Gibson warned us, ‘cyberspace is everting.' With digital shelf tags, grocers can change prices whenever they feel like, like the grocers in Norway, whose e-ink shelf tags change the prices 2,000 times per day.
Every Uber driver is offered a different wage for every job. If a driver has been picky lately, the job pays more. But if the driver has been desperate enough to grab every ride the app offers, the pay goes down, and down, and down.
The law professor Veena Dubal calls this ‘algorithmic wage discrimination.' It’s a prime example of twiddling.
Every youtuber knows what it’s like to be twiddled. You work for weeks or months, spend thousands of dollars to make a video, then the algorithm decides that no one – not your own subscribers, not searchers who type in the exact name of your video – will see it.
Why? Who knows? The algorithm’s rules are not public.
Because content moderation is the last redoubt of security through obscurit: they can’t tell you what the como algorithm is downranking because then you’d cheat.
Youtube is the kind of shitty boss who docks every paycheck for all the rules you’ve broken, but won’t tell you what those rules were, lest you figure out how to break those rules next time without your boss catching you.
Twiddling can also work in some users’ favor, of course. Sometimes platforms twiddle to make things better for end users or business customers.
For example, Emily Baker-White from Forbes revealed the existence of a back-end feature that Tiktok’s management can access they call the “heating tool.”
When a manager applies the heating toll to a performer’s account, that performer’s videos are thrust into the feeds of millions of users, without regard to whether the recommendation algorithm predicts they will enjoy that video.
Why would they do this? Well, here’s an analogy from my boyhood I used to go to this traveling fair that would come to Toronto at the end of every summer, the Canadian National Exhibition. If you’ve been to a fair like the Ex, you know that you can always spot some guy lugging around a comedically huge teddy bear.
Nominally, you win that teddy bear by throwing five balls in a peach-basket, but to a first approximation, no one has ever gotten five balls to stay in that peach-basket.
That guy “won” the teddy bear when a carny on the midway singled him out and said, "fella, I like your face. Tell you what I’m gonna do: You get just one ball in the basket and I’ll give you this keychain, and if you amass two keychains, I’ll let you trade them in for one of these galactic-scale teddy-bears."
That’s how the guy got his teddy bear, which he now has to drag up and down the midway for the rest of the day.
Why the hell did that carny give away the teddy bear? Because it turns the guy into a walking billboard for the midway games. If that dopey-looking Judas Goat can get five balls into a peach basket, then so can you.
Except you can’t.
Tiktok’s heating tool is a way to give away tactical giant teddy bears. When someone in the TikTok brain trust decides they need more sports bros on the platform, they pick one bro out at random and make him king for the day, heating the shit out of his account.
That guy gets a bazillion views and he starts running around on all the sports bro forums trumpeting his success: *I am the Louis Pasteur of sports bro influencers!"
The other sports bros pile in and start retooling to make content that conforms to the idiosyncratic Tiktok format. When they fail to get giant teddy bears of their own, they assume that it’s because they’re doing Tiktok wrong, because they don’t know about the heating tool.
But then comes the day when the TikTok Star Chamber decides they need to lure in more astrologers, so they take the heat off that one lucky sports bro, and start heating up some lucky astrologer.
Giant teddy bears are all over the place: those Uber drivers who were boasting to the NYT ten years ago about earning $50/hour? The Substackers who were rolling in dough? Joe Rogan and his hundred million dollar Spotify payout? Those people are all the proud owners of giant teddy bears, and they’re a steal.
Because every dollar they get from the platform turns into five dollars worth of free labor from suckers who think they just internetting wrong.
Giant teddy bears are just one way of twiddling. Platforms can play games with every part of their business logic, in highly automated ways, that allows them to quickly and efficiently siphon value from end users to business customers and back again, hiding the pea in a shell game conducted at machine speeds, until they’ve got everyone so turned around that they take all the value for themselves.
That’s the how: How the platforms do the trick where they are good to users, then lock users in, then maltreat users to be good to business customers, then lock in those business customers, then take all the value for themselves.
So now we know what is happening, and how it is happening, all that’s left is why it’s happening.
Now, on the one hand, the why is pretty obvious. The less value that end-users and business customers capture, the more value there is left to divide up among the shareholders and the executives.
That’s why, but it doesn’t tell you why now. Companies could have done this shit at any time in the past 20 years, but they didn’t. Or at least, the successful ones didn’t. The ones that turned themselves into piles of shit got treated like piles of shit. We avoided them and they died.
Remember Myspace? Yahoo Search? Livejournal? Sure, they’re still serving some kind of AI slop or programmatic ad junk if you hit those domains, but they’re gone.
And there’s the clue: It used to be that if you enshittified your product, bad things happened to your company. Now, there are no consequences for enshittification, so everyone’s doing it.
Let’s break that down: What stops a company from enshittifying?
There are four forces that discipline tech companies. The first one is, obviously, competition.
If your customers find it easy to leave, then you have to worry about them leaving
Many factors can contribute to how hard or easy it is to depart a platform, like the network effects that Facebook has going for it. But the most important factor is whether there is anywhere to go.
Back in 2012, Facebook bought Insta for a billion dollars. That may seem like chump-change in these days of eleven-digit Big Tech acquisitions, but that was a big sum in those innocent days, and it was an especially big sum to pay for Insta. The company only had 13 employees, and a mere 25 million registered users.
But what mattered to Zuckerberg wasn’t how many users Insta had, it was where those users came from.
[Does anyone know where those Insta users came from?]
That’s right, they left Facebook and joined Insta. They were sick of FB, even though they liked the people there, they hated creepy Zuck, they hated the platform, so they left and they didn’t come back.
So Zuck spent a cool billion to recapture them, A fact he put in writing in a midnight email to CFO David Ebersman, explaining that he was paying over the odds for Insta because his users hated him, and loved Insta. So even if they quit Facebook (the platform), they would still be captured Facebook (the company).
Now, on paper, Zuck’s Instagram acquisition is illegal, but normally, that would be hard to stop, because you’d have to prove that he bought Insta with the intention of curtailing competition.
But in this case, Zuck tripped over his own dick: he put it in writing.
But Obama’s DoJ and FTC just let that one slide, following the pro-monopoly policies of Reagan, Bush I, Clinton and Bush II, and setting an example that Trump would follow, greenlighting gigamergers like the catastrophic, incestuous Warner-Discovery marriage.
Indeed, for 40 years, starting with Carter, and accelerating through Reagan, the US has encouraged monopoly formation, as an official policy, on the grounds that monopolies are “efficient.”
If everyone is using Google Search, that’s something we should celebrate. It means they’ve got the very best search and wouldn’t it be perverse to spend public funds to punish them for making the best product?
But as we all know, Google didn’t maintain search dominance by being best. They did it by paying bribes. More than 20 billion per year to Apple alone to be the default Ios search, plus billions more to Samsung, Mozilla, and anyone else making a product or service with a search-box on it, ensuring that you never stumble on a search engine that’s better than theirs.
Which, in turn, ensured that no one smart invested big in rival search engines, even if they were visibly, obviously superior. Why bother making something better if Google’s buying up all the market oxygen before it can kindle your product to life?
Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Amazon – they’re not “making things” companies, they’re “buying things” companies, taking advantage of official tolerance for anticompetitive acquisitions, predatory pricing, market distorting exclusivity deals and other acts specifically prohibited by existing antitrust law.
Their goal is to become too big to fail, because that makes them too big to jail, and that means they can be too big to care.
Which is why Google Search is a pile of shit and everything on Amazon is dropshipped garbage that instantly disintegrates in a cloud of offgassed volatile organic compounds when you open the box.
Once companies no longer fear losing your business to a competitor, it’s much easier for them to treat you badly, because what’re you gonna do?
Remember Lily Tomlin as Ernestine the AT&T operator in those old SNL sketches? “We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.”
Competition is the first force that serves to discipline companies and the enshittificatory impulses of their leadership, and we just stopped enforcing competition law.
It takes a special kind of smooth-brained asshole – that is, an establishment economist – to insist that the collapse of every industry from eyeglasses to vitamin C into a cartel of five or fewer companies has nothing to do with policies that officially encouraged monopolization.
It’s like we used to put down rat poison and we didn’t have a rat problem. Then these dickheads convinced us that rats were good for us and we stopped putting down rat poison, and now rats are gnawing our faces off and they’re all running around saying, "Who’s to say where all these rats came from? Maybe it was that we stopped putting down poison, but maybe it’s just the Time of the Rats. The Great Forces of History bearing down on this moment to multiply rats beyond all measure!"
Antitrust didn’t slip down that staircase and fall spine-first on that stiletto: they stabbed it in the back and then they pushed it.
And when they killed antitrust, they also killed regulation, the second force that disciplines companies. Regulation is possible, but only when the regulator is more powerful than the regulated entities. When a company is bigger than the government, it gets damned hard to credibly threaten to punish that company, no matter what its sins.
That’s what protected IBM for all those years when it had its boot on the throat of the American tech sector. Do you know, the DOJ fought to break up IBM in the courts from 1970-1982, and that every year, for 12 consecutive years, IBM spent more on lawyers to fight the USG than the DOJ Antitrust Division spent on all the lawyers fighting every antitrust case in the entire USA?
IBM outspent Uncle Sam for 12 years. People called it “Antitrust’s Vietnam.” All that money paid off, because by 1982, the president was Ronald Reagan, a man whose official policy was that monopolies were “efficient." So he dropped the case, and Big Blue wriggled off the hook.
It’s hard to regulate a monopolist, and it’s hard to regulate a cartel. When a sector is composed of hundreds of competing companies, they compete. They genuinely fight with one another, trying to poach each others’ customers and workers. They are at each others’ throats.
It’s hard enough for a couple hundred executives to agree on anything. But when they’re legitimately competing with one another, really obsessing about how to eat each others’ lunches, they can’t agree on anything.
The instant one of them goes to their regulator with some bullshit story, about how it’s impossible to have a decent search engine without fine-grained commercial surveillance; or how it’s impossible to have a secure and easy to use mobile device without a total veto over which software can run on it; or how it’s impossible to administer an ISP’s network unless you can slow down connections to servers whose owners aren’t paying bribes for “premium carriage"; there’s some *other company saying, “That’s bullshit”
“We’ve managed it! Here’s our server logs, our quarterly financials and our customer testimonials to prove it.”
100 companies are a rabble, they're a mob. They can’t agree on a lobbying position. They’re too busy eating each others’ lunch to agree on how to cater a meeting to discuss it.
But let those hundred companies merge to monopoly, absorb one another in an incestuous orgy, turn into five giant companies, so inbred they’ve got a corporate Habsburg jaw, and they become a cartel.
It’s easy for a cartel to agree on what bullshit they’re all going to feed their regulator, and to mobilize some of the excess billions they’ve reaped through consolidation, which freed them from “wasteful competition," sp they can capture their regulators completely.
You know, Congress used to pass federal consumer privacy laws? Not anymore.
The last time Congress managed to pass a federal consumer privacy law was in 1988: The Video Privacy Protection Act. That’s a law that bans video-store clerks from telling newspapers what VHS cassettes you take home. In other words, it regulates three things that have effectively ceased to exist.
The threat of having your video rental history out there in the public eye was not the last or most urgent threat the American public faced, and yet, Congress is deadlocked on passing a privacy law.
Tech companies’ regulatory capture involves a risible and transparent gambit, that is so stupid, it’s an insult to all the good hardworking risible transparent ruses out there.
Namely, they claim that when they violate your consumer, privacy or labor rights, It’s not a crime, because they do it with an app.
Algorithmic wage discrimination isn’t illegal wage theft: we do it with an app.
Spying on you from asshole to appetite isn’t a privacy violation: we do it with an app.
And Amazon’s scam search tool that tricks you into paying 29% more than the best match for your query? Not a ripoff. We do it with an app.
Once we killed competition – stopped putting down rat poison – we got cartels – the rats ate our faces. And the cartels captured their regulators – the rats bought out the poison factory and shut it down.
So companies aren’t constrained by competition or regulation.
But you know what? This is tech, and tech is different.IIt’s different because it’s flexible. Because our computers are Turing-complete universal von Neumann machines. That means that any enshittificatory alteration to a program can be disenshittified with another program.
Every time HP jacks up the price of ink , they invite a competitor to market a refill kit or a compatible cartridge.
When Tesla installs code that says you have to pay an extra monthly fee to use your whole battery, they invite a modder to start selling a kit to jailbreak that battery and charge it all the way up.
Lemme take you through a little example of how that works: Imagine this is a product design meeting for our company’s website, and the guy leading the meeting says “Dudes, you know how our KPI is topline ad-revenue? Well, I’ve calculated that if we make the ads just 20% more invasive and obnoxious, we’ll boost ad rev by 2%”
This is a good pitch. Hit that KPI and everyone gets a fat bonus. We can all take our families on a luxury ski vacation in Switzerland.
But here’s the thing: someone’s gonna stick their arm up – someone who doesn’t give a shit about user well-being, and that person is gonna say, “I love how you think, Elon. But has it occurred to you that if we make the ads 20% more obnoxious, then 40% of our users will go to a search engine and type 'How do I block ads?'"
I mean, what a nightmare! Because once a user does that, the revenue from that user doesn’t rise to 102%. It doesn’t stay at 100% It falls to zero, forever.
[Any guesses why?]
Because no user ever went back to the search engine and typed, 'How do I start seeing ads again?'
Once the user jailbreaks their phone or discovers third party ink, or develops a relationship with an independent Tesla mechanic who’ll unlock all the DLC in their car, that user is gone, forever.
Interoperability – that latent property bequeathed to us courtesy of Herrs Turing and Von Neumann and their infinitely flexible, universal machines – that is a serious check on enshittification.
The fact that Congress hasn’t passed a privacy law since 1988 Is countered, at least in part, by the fact that the majority of web users are now running ad-blockers, which are also tracker-blockers.
But no one’s ever installed a tracker-blocker for an app. Because reverse engineering an app puts in you jeopardy of criminal and civil prosecution under Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, with penalties of a 5-year prison sentence and a $500k fine for a first offense.
And violating its terms of service puts you in jeopardy under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1986, which is the law that Ronald Reagan signed in a panic after watching Wargames (seriously!).
Helping other users violate the terms of service can get you hit with a lawsuit for tortious interference with contract. And then there’s trademark, copyright and patent.
All that nonsense we call “IP,” but which Jay Freeman of Cydia calls “Felony Contempt of Business Model."
So if we’re still at that product planning meeting and now it’s time to talk about our app, the guy leading the meeting says, “OK, so we’ll make the ads in the app 20% more obnoxious to pull a 2% increase in topline ad rev?”
And that person who objected to making the website 20% worse? Their hand goes back up. Only this time they say “Why don’t we make the ads 100% more invasive and get a 10% increase in ad rev?"
Because it doesn't matter if a user goes to a search engine and types, “How do I block ads in an app." The answer is: you can't. So YOLO, enshittify away.
“IP” is just a euphemism for “any law that lets me reach outside my company’s walls to exert coercive control over my critics, competitors and customers,” and “app” is just a euphemism for “A web page skinned with the right IP so that protecting your privacy while you use it is a felony.”
Interop used to keep companies from enshittifying. If a company made its client suck, someone would roll out an alternative client, if they ripped a feature out and wanted to sell it back to you as a monthly subscription, someone would make a compatible plugin that restored it for a one-time fee, or for free.
To help people flee Myspace, FB gave them bots that you’d load with your login credentials. It would scrape your waiting Myspace messages and put ‘em in your FB inbox, and login to Myspace and paste your replies into your Myspace outbox. So you didn’t have to choose between the people you loved on Myspace, and Facebook, which launched with a promise never to spy on you. Remember that?!
Thanks to the metastasis of IP, all that is off the table today. Apple owes its very existence to iWork Suite, whose Pages, Numbers and Keynote are file-compatible with Microsoft’s Word, Excel and Powerpoint. But make an IOS runtime that’ll play back the files you bought from Apple’s stores on other platforms, and they’ll nuke you til you glow.
FB wouldn’t have had a hope of breaking Myspace’s grip on social media without that scrape, but scrape FB today in support of an alternative client and their lawyers will bomb you til the rubble bounces.
Google scraped every website in the world to create its search index. Try and scrape Google and they’ll have your head on a pike.
When they did it, it was progress. When you do it to them, that’s piracy. Every pirate wants to be an admiral.
Because this handful of companies has so thoroughly captured their regulators, they can wield the power of the state against you when you try to break their grip on power, even as their own flagrant violations of our rights go unpunished. Because they do them with an app.
Tech lost its fear of competitin it neutralized the threat from regulators, and then put them in harness to attack new startups that might do unto them as they did unto the companies that came before them.
But even so, there was a force that kept our bosses in check That force was us. Tech workers.
Tech workers have historically been in short supply, which gave us power, and our bosses knew it.
To get us to work crazy hours, they came up with a trick. They appealed to our love of technology, and told us that we were heroes of a digital revolution, who would “organize the world’s information and make it useful,” who would “bring the world closer together.”
They brought in expert set-dressers to turn our workplaces into whimsical campuses with free laundry, gourmet cafeterias, massages, and kombucha, and a surgeon on hand to freeze our eggs so that we could work through our fertile years.
They convinced us that we were being pampered, rather than being worked like government mules.
This trick has a name. Fobazi Ettarh, the librarian-theorist, calls it “vocational awe, and Elon Musk calls it being “extremely hardcore.”
This worked very well. Boy did we put in some long-ass hours!
But for our bosses, this trick failed badly. Because if you miss your mother’s funeral and to hit a deadline, and then your boss orders you to enshittify that product, you are gonna experience a profound moral injury, which you are absolutely gonna make your boss share.
Because what are they gonna do? Fire you? They can’t hire someone else to do your job, and you can get a job that’s even better at the shop across the street.
So workers held the line when competition, regulation and interop failed.
But eventually, supply caught up with demand. Tech laid off 260,000 of us last year, and another 100,000 in the first half of this year.
You can’t tell your bosses to go fuck themselves, because they’ll fire your ass and give your job to someone who’ll be only too happy to enshittify that product you built.
That’s why this is all happening right now. Our bosses aren’t different. They didn’t catch a mind-virus that turned them into greedy assholes who don’t care about our users’ wellbeing or the quality of our products.
As far as our bosses have always been concerned, the point of the business was to charge the most, and deliver the least, while sharing as little as possible with suppliers, workers, users and customers. They’re not running charities.
Since day one, our bosses have shown up for work and yanked as hard as they can on the big ENSHITTIFICATION lever behind their desks, only that lever didn’t move much. It was all gummed up by competition, regulation, interop and workers.
As those sources of friction melted away, the enshittification lever started moving very freely.
Which sucks, I know. But think about this for a sec: our bosses, despite being wildly imperfect vessels capable of rationalizing endless greed and cheating, nevertheless oversaw a series of actually great products and services.
Not because they used to be better people, but because they used to be subjected to discipline.
So it follows that if we want to end the enshittocene, dismantle the enshitternet, and build a new, good internet that our bosses can’t wreck, we need to make sure that these constraints are durably installed on that internet, wound around its very roots and nerves. And we have to stand guard over it so that it can’t be dismantled again.
A new, good internet is one that has the positive aspects of the old, good internet: an ethic of technological self-determination, where users of technology (and hackers, tinkerers, startups and others serving as their proxies) can reconfigure and mod the technology they use, so that it does what they need it to do, and so that it can’t be used against them.
But the new, good internet will fix the defects of the old, good internet, the part that made it hard to use for anyone who wasn’t us. And hell yeah we can do that. Tech bosses swear that it’s impossible, that you can’t have a conversation friend without sharing it with Zuck; or search the web without letting Google scrape you down to the viscera; or have a phone that works reliably without giving Apple a veto over the software you install.
They claim that it’s a nonsense to even ponder this kind of thing. It’s like making water that’s not wet. But that’s bullshit. We can have nice things. We can build for the people we love, and give them a place that’s worth of their time and attention.
To do that, we have to install constraints.
The first constraint, remember, is competition. We’re living through a epochal shift in competition policy. After 40 years with antitrust enforcement in an induced coma, a wave of antitrust vigor has swept through governments all over the world. Regulators are stepping in to ban monopolistic practices, open up walled gardens, block anticompetitive mergers, and even unwind corrupt mergers that were undertaken on false pretenses.
Normally this is the place in the speech where I’d list out all the amazing things that have happened over the past four years. The enforcement actions that blocked companies from becoming too big to care, and that scared companies away from even trying.
Like Wiz, which just noped out of the largest acquisition offer in history, turning down Google’s $23b cashout, and deciding to, you know, just be a fucking business that makes money by producing a product that people want and selling it at a competitive price.
Normally, I’d be listing out FTC rulemakings that banned noncompetes nationwid. Or the new merger guidelines the FTC and DOJ cooked up, which – among other things – establish that the agencies should be considering whether a merger will negatively impact privacy.
I had a whole section of this stuff in my notes, a real victory lap, but I deleted it all this week.
[Can anyone guess why?]
That’s right! This week, Judge Amit Mehta, ruling for the DC Circuit of these United States of America, In the docket 20-3010 a case known as United States v. Google LLC, found that “Google is a monopolist, and it has acted as one to maintain its monopoly," and ordered Google and the DOJ to propose a schedule for a remedy, like breaking the company up.
So yeah, that was pretty fucking epic.
Now, this antitrust stuff is pretty esoteric, and I won’t gatekeep you or shame you if you wanna keep a little distance on this subject. Nearly everyone is an antitrust normie, and that's OK. But if you’re a normie, you’re probably only catching little bits and pieces of the narrative, and let me tell you, the monopolists know it and they are flooding the zone.
The Wall Street Journal has published over 100 editorials condemning FTC Chair Lina Khan, saying she’s an ineffectual do-nothing, wasting public funds chasing doomed, quixotic adventures against poor, innocent businesses accomplishing nothing
[Does anyone out there know who owns the Wall Street Journal?]
That’s right, it’s Rupert Murdoch. Do you really think Rupert Murdoch pays his editorial board to write one hundred editorials about someone who’s not getting anything done?
The reality is that in the USA, in the UK, in the EU, in Australia, in Canada, in Japan, in South Korea, even in China, we are seeing more antitrust action over the past four years than over the preceding forty years.
Remember, competition law is actually pretty robust. The problem isn’t the law, It’s the enforcement priorities. Reagan put antitrust in mothballs 40 years ago, but that elegant weapon from a more civilized age is now back in the hands of people who know how to use it, and they’re swinging for the fences.
Next up: regulation.
As the seemingly inescapable power of the tech giants is revealed for the sham it always was, governments and regulators are finally gonna kill the “one weird trick” of violating the law, and saying “It doesn’t count, we did it with an app.”
Like in the EU, they’re rolling out the Digital Markets Act this year. That’s a law requiring dominant platforms to stand up APIs so that third parties can offer interoperable services.
So a co-op, a nonprofit, a hobbyist, a startup, or a local government agency wil eventuallyl be able to offer, say, a social media server that can interconnect with one of the dominant social media silos, and users who switch to that new platform will be able to continue to exchange messages with the users they follow and groups they belong to, so the switching costs will fall to damned near zero.
That’s a very cool rule, but what’s even cooler is how it’s gonna be enforced. Previous EU tech rules were “regulations” as in the GDPR – the General Data Privacy Regulation. EU regs need to be “transposed” into laws in each of the 27 EU member states, so they become national laws that get enforced by national courts.
For Big Tech, that means all previous tech regulations are enforced in Ireland, because Ireland is a tax haven, and all the tech companies fly Irish flags of convenience.
Here’s the thing: every tax haven is also a crime haven. After all, if Google can pretend it’s Irish this week, it can pretend to be Cypriot, or Maltese, or Luxembougeious next week. So Ireland has to keep these footloose criminal enterprises happy, or they’ll up sticks and go somewhere else.
This is why the GDPR is such a goddamned joke in practice. Big tech wipes its ass with the GDPR, and the only way to punish them starts with Ireland’s privacy commissioner, who barely bothers to get out of bed. This is an agency that spends most of its time watching cartoons on TV in its pajamas and eating breakfast cereal. So all of the big GDPR cases go to Ireland and they die there.
This is hardly a secret. The European Commission knows it’s going on. So with the DMA, the Commission has changed things up: The DMA is an “Act,” not a “Regulation.” Meaning it gets enforced in the EU’s federal courts, bypassing the national courts in crime-havens like Ireland.
In other words, the “we violate privacy law, but we do it with an app” gambit that worked on Ireland’s toothless privacy watchdog is now a dead letter, because EU federal judges have no reason to swallow that obvious bullshit.
Here in the US, the dam is breaking on federal consumer privacy law – at last!
Remember, our last privacy law was passed in 1988 to protect the sanctity of VHS rental history. It's been a minute.
And the thing is, there's a lot of people who are angry about stuff that has some nexus with America's piss-poor privacy landscape. Worried that Facebook turned grampy into a Qanon? That Insta made your teen anorexic? That TikTok is brainwashing millennials into quoting Osama Bin Laden? Or that cops are rolling up the identities of everyone at a Black Lives Matter protest or the Jan 6 riots by getting location data from Google? Or that Red State Attorneys General are tracking teen girls to out-of-state abortion clinics? Or that Black people are being discriminated against by online lending or hiring platforms? Or that someone is making AI deepfake porn of you?
A federal privacy law with a private right of action – which means that individuals can sue companies that violate their privacy – would go a long way to rectifying all of these problems
There's a pretty big coalition for that kind of privacy law! Which is why we have seen a procession of imperfect (but steadily improving) privacy laws working their way through Congress.
If you sign up for EFF’s mailing list at eff.org we’ll send you an email when these come up, so you can call your Congressjerk or Senator and talk to them about it. Or better yet, make an appointment to drop by their offices when they’re in their districts, and explain to them that you’re not just a registered voter from their district, you’re the kind of elite tech person who goes to Defcon, and then explain the bill to them. That stuff makes a difference.
What about self-help? How are we doing on making interoperability legal again, so hackers can just fix shit without waiting for Congress or a federal agency to act?
All the action here these day is in the state Right to Repair fight. We’re getting state R2R bills, like the one that passed this year in Oregon that bans parts pairing, where DRM is used to keep a device from using a new part until it gets an authorized technician’s unlock code.
These bills are pushed by a fantastic group of organizations called the Repair Coalition, at Repair.org, and they’ll email you when one of these laws is going through your statehouse, so you can meet with your state reps and explain to the JV squad the same thing you told your federal reps.
Repair.org’s prime mover is Ifixit, who are genuine heroes of the repair revolution, and Ifixit’s founder, Kyle Wiens, is here at the con. When you see him, you can shake his hand and tell him thanks, and that’ll be even better if you tell him that you’ve signed up to get alerts at repair.org!
Now, on to the final way that we reverse enhittification and build that new, good internet: you, the tech labor force.
For years, your bosses tricked you into thinking you were founders in waiting, temporarily embarrassed entrepreneurs who were only momentarily drawing a salary.
You certainly weren’t workers. Your power came from your intrinsic virtue, not like those lazy slobs in unions who have to get their power through that kumbaya solidarity nonsense.
It was a trick. You were scammed. The power you had came from scarcity, and so when the scarcity ended, when the industry started ringing up six-figure annual layoffs, your power went away with it.
The only durable source of power for tech workers is as workers, in a union.
Think about Amazon. Warehouse workers have to piss in bottles and have the highest rate of on-the-job maimings of any competing business. Whereas Amazon coders get to show up for work with facial piercings, green mohawks, and black t-shirts that say things their bosses don’t understand. They can piss whenever they want!
That’s not because Jeff Bezos or Andy Jassy loves you guys. It’s because they’re scared you’ll quit and they don’t know how to replace you.
Time for the second obligatory William Gibson quote: “The future is here, it’s just not evenly distributed.” You know who’s living in the future?. Those Amazon blue-collar workers. They are the bleeding edge.
Drivers whose eyeballs are monitored by AI cameras that do digital phrenology on their faces to figure out whether to dock their pay, warehouse workers whose bodies are ruined in just months.
As tech bosses beef up that reserve army of unemployed, skilled tech workers, then those tech workers – you all – will arrive at the same future as them.
Look, I know that you’ve spent your careers explaining in words so small your boss could understand them that you refuse to enshittify the company’s products, and I thank you for your service.
But if you want to go on fighting for the user, you need power that’s more durable than scarcity. You need a union. Wanna learn how? Check out the Tech Workers Coalition and Tech Solidarity, and get organized.
Enshittification didn’t arise because our bosses changed. They were always that guy.
They were always yankin’ on that enshittification lever in the C-suite.
What changed was the environment, everything that kept that switch from moving.
And that’s good news, in a bankshot way, because it means we can make good services out of imperfect people. As a wildly imperfect person myself, I find this heartening.
The new good internet is in our grasp: an internet that has the technological self-determination of the old, good internet, and the greased-skids simplicity of Web 2.0 that let all our normie friends get in on the fun.
Tech bosses want you to think that good UX and enshittification can’t ever be separated. That’s such a self-serving proposition you can spot it from orbit. We know it, 'cause we built the old good internet, and we’ve been fighting a rear-guard action to preserve it for the past two decades.
It’s time to stop playing defense. It's time to go on the offensive. To restore competition, regulation, interop and tech worker power so that we can create the new, good internet we’ll need to fight fascism, the climate emergency, and genocide.
To build a digital nervous system for a 21st century in which our children can thrive and prosper.
Tumblr media
Community voting for SXSW is live! If you wanna hear RIDA QADRI and me talk about how GIG WORKERS can DISENSHITTIFY their jobs with INTEROPERABILITY, VOTE FOR THIS ONE!
Tumblr media
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/17/hack-the-planet/#how-about-a-nice-game-of-chess
Tumblr media
Image: https://twitter.com/igama/status/1822347578094043435/ (cropped)
https://mamot.fr/@[email protected]/112963252835869648
CC BY 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.pt
889 notes · View notes
librarianrafia · 1 month
Text
Aug 2024)
Today's links
"Disenshittify or Die": My speech from Defcon 32.
Hey look at this: Delights to delectate.
This day in history: 2009, 2014, 2019, 2023
Upcoming appearances: Where to find me.
Recent appearances: Where I've been.
Latest books: You keep readin' em, I'll keep writin' 'em.
Upcoming books: Like I said, I'll keep writin' 'em.
Colophon: All the rest.
Tumblr media
"Disenshittify or Die" (permalink)
Last weekend, I traveled to Las Vegas for Defcon 32, where I had the immense privilege of giving a solo talk on Track 1, entitled "Disenshittify or die! How hackers can seize the means of computation and build a new, good internet that is hardened against our asshole bosses' insatiable horniness for enshittification":
https://info.defcon.org/event/?id=54861
This was a followup to last year's talk, "An Audacious Plan to Halt the Internet's Enshittification," a talk that kicked off a lot of international interest in my analysis of platform decay ("enshittification"):
youtube
The Defcon organizers have earned a restful week or two, and that means that the video of my talk hasn't yet been posted to Defcon's Youtube channel, so in the meantime, I thought I'd post a lightly edited version of my speech crib. If you're headed to Burning Man, you can hear me reprise this talk at Palenque Norte (7&E); I'm kicking off their lecture series on Tuesday, Aug 27 at 1PM.
==
What the fuck happened to the old, good internet?
I mean, sure, our bosses were a little surveillance-happy, and they were usually up for sharing their data with the NSA, and whenever there was a tossup between user security and growth, it was always YOLO time.
But Google Search used to work. Facebook used to show you posts from people you followed. Uber used to be cheaper than a taxi and pay the driver more than a cabbie made. Amazon used to sell products, not Shein-grade self-destructing dropshipped garbage from all-consonant brands. Apple used to defend your privacy, rather than spying on you with your no-modifications-allowed Iphone.
There was a time when you searching for an album on Spotify would get you that album – not a playlist of insipid AI-generated covers with the same name and art.
Microsoft used to sell you software – sure, it was buggy – but now they just let you access apps in the cloud, so they can watch how you use those apps and strip the features you use the most out of the basic tier and turn them into an upcharge.
What – and I cannot stress this enough – the fuck happened?!
I’m talking about enshittification.
Here’s what enshittification looks like from the outside: First, you see a company that’s being good to its end users. Google puts the best search results at the top; Facebook shows you a feed of posts from people and groups you followl; Uber charges small dollars for a cab; Amazon subsidizes goods and returns and shipping and puts the best match for your product search at the top of the page.
That’s stage one, being good to end users. But there’s another part of this stage, call it stage 1a). That’s figuring out how to lock in those users.
There’s so many ways to lock in users.
If you’re Facebook, the users do it for you. You joined Facebook because there were people there you wanted to hang out with, and other people joined Facebook to hang out with you.
That’s the old “network effects” in action, and with network effects come “the collective action problem." Because you love your friends, but goddamn are they a pain in the ass! You all agree that FB sucks, sure, but can you all agree on when it’s time to leave?
No way.
Can you agree on where to go next?
Hell no.
You’re there because that’s where the support group for your rare disease hangs out, and your bestie is there because that’s where they talk with the people in the country they moved away from, then there’s that friend who coordinates their kid’s little league car pools on FB, and the best dungeon master you know isn’t gonna leave FB because that’s where her customers are.
So you’re stuck, because even though FB use comes at a high cost – your privacy, your dignity and your sanity – that’s still less than the switching cost you’d have to bear if you left: namely, all those friends who have taken you hostage, and whom you are holding hostage
Now, sometimes companies lock you in with money, like Amazon getting you to prepay for a year’s shipping with Prime, or to buy your Audible books on a monthly subscription, which virtually guarantees that every shopping search will start on Amazon, after all, you’ve already paid for it.
Sometimes, they lock you in with DRM, like HP selling you a printer with four ink cartridges filled with fluid that retails for more than $10,000/gallon, and using DRM to stop you from refilling any of those ink carts or using a third-party cartridge. So when one cart runs dry, you have to refill it or throw away your investment in the remaining three cartridges and the printer itself.
Sometimes, it’s a grab bag:
You can’t run your Ios apps without Apple hardware;
you can’t run your Apple music, books and movies on anything except an Ios app;
your iPhone uses parts pairing – DRM handshakes between replacement parts and the main system – so you can’t use third-party parts to fix it; and
every OEM iPhone part has a microscopic Apple logo engraved on it, so Apple can demand that the US Customs and Border Service seize any shipment of refurb Iphone parts as trademark violations.
Think Different, amirite?
Getting you locked in completes phase one of the enshittification cycle and signals the start of phase two: making things worse for you to make things better for business customers.
For example, a platform might poison its search results, like Google selling more and more of its results pages to ads that are identified with lighter and lighter tinier and tinier type.
Or Amazon selling off search results and calling it an “ad” business. They make $38b/year on this scam. The first result for your search is, on average, 29% more expensive than the best match for your search. The first row is 25% more expensive than the best match. On average, the best match for your search is likely to be found seventeen places down on the results page.
Other platforms sell off your feed, like Facebook, which started off showing you the things you asked to see, but now the quantum of content from the people you follow has dwindled to a homeopathic residue, leaving a void that Facebook fills with things that people pay to show you: boosted posts from publishers you haven’t subscribed to, and, of course, ads.
Now at this point you might be thinking ‘sure, if you’re not paying for the product, you’re the product.'
Bullshit!
Bull.
Shit.
The people who buy those Google ads? They pay more every year for worse ad-targeting and more ad-fraud
Those publishers paying to nonconsensually cram their content into your Facebook feed? They have to do that because FB suppresses their ability to reach the people who actually subscribed to them
The Amazon sellers with the best match for your query have to outbid everyone else just to show up on the first page of results. It costs so much to sell on Amazon that between 45-51% of every dollar an independent seller brings in has to be kicked up to Don Bezos and the Amazon crime family. Those sellers don’t have the kind of margins that let them pay 51% They have to raise prices in order to avoid losing money on every sale.
"But wait!" I hear you say!
[Come on, say it!]
"But wait! Things on Amazon aren’t more expensive that things at Target, or Walmart, or at a mom and pop store, or direct from the manufacturer.
"How can sellers be raising prices on Amazon if the price at Amazon is the same as at is everywhere else?"
[Any guesses?!]
That’s right, they charge more everywhere. They have to. Amazon binds its sellers to a policy called “most favored nation status,” which says they can’t charge more on Amazon than they charge elsewhere, including direct from their own factory store.
So every seller that wants to sell on Amazon has to raise their prices everywhere else.
Now, these sellers are Amazon’s best customers. They’re paying for the product, and they’re still getting screwed.
Paying for the product doesn’t fill your vapid boss’s shriveled heart with so much joy that he decides to stop trying to think of ways to fuck you over.
Look at Apple. Remember when Apple offered every Ios user a one-click opt out for app-based surveillance? And 96% of users clicked that box?
(The other four percent were either drunk or Facebook employees or drunk Facebook employees.)
That cost Facebook at least ten billion dollars per year in lost surveillance revenue?
I mean, you love to see it.
But did you know that at the same time Apple started spying on Ios users in the same way that Facebook had been, for surveillance data to use to target users for its competing advertising product?
Your Iphone isn’t an ad-supported gimme. You paid a thousand fucking dollars for that distraction rectangle in your pocket, and you’re still the product. What’s more, Apple has rigged Ios so that you can’t mod the OS to block its spying.
If you’re not not paying for the product, you’re the product, and if you are paying for the product, you’re still the product.
Just ask the farmers who are expected to swap parts into their own busted half-million dollar, mission-critical tractors, but can’t actually use those parts until a technician charges them $200 to drive out to the farm and type a parts pairing unlock code into their console.
John Deere’s not giving away tractors. Give John Deere a half mil for a tractor and you will be the product.
Please, my brothers and sisters in Christ. Please! Stop saying ‘if you’re not paying for the product, you’re the product.’
OK, OK, so that’s phase two of enshittification.
Phase one: be good to users while locking them in.
Phase two: screw the users a little to you can good to business customers while locking them in.
Phase three: screw everybody and take all the value for yourself. Leave behind the absolute bare minimum of utility so that everyone stays locked into your pile of shit.
Enshittification: a tragedy in three acts.
That’s what enshittification looks like from the outside, but what’s going on inside the company? What is the pathological mechanism? What sci-fi entropy ray converts the excellent and useful service into a pile of shit?
That mechanism is called twiddling. Twiddling is when someone alters the back end of a service to change how its business operates, changing prices, costs, search ranking, recommendation criteria and other foundational aspects of the system.
Digital platforms are a twiddler’s utopia. A grocer would need an army of teenagers with pricing guns on rollerblades to reprice everything in the building when someone arrives who’s extra hungry.
Whereas the McDonald’s Investments portfolio company Plexure advertises that it can use surveillance data to predict when an app user has just gotten paid so the seller can tack an extra couple bucks onto the price of their breakfast sandwich.
And of course, as the prophet William Gibson warned us, ‘cyberspace is everting.' With digital shelf tags, grocers can change prices whenever they feel like, like the grocers in Norway, whose e-ink shelf tags change the prices 2,000 times per day.
Every Uber driver is offered a different wage for every job. If a driver has been picky lately, the job pays more. But if the driver has been desperate enough to grab every ride the app offers, the pay goes down, and down, and down.
The law professor Veena Dubal calls this ‘algorithmic wage discrimination.' It’s a prime example of twiddling.
Every youtuber knows what it’s like to be twiddled. You work for weeks or months, spend thousands of dollars to make a video, then the algorithm decides that no one – not your own subscribers, not searchers who type in the exact name of your video – will see it.
Why? Who knows? The algorithm’s rules are not public.
Because content moderation is the last redoubt of security through obscurit: they can’t tell you what the como algorithm is downranking because then you’d cheat.
Youtube is the kind of shitty boss who docks every paycheck for all the rules you’ve broken, but won’t tell you what those rules were, lest you figure out how to break those rules next time without your boss catching you.
Twiddling can also work in some users’ favor, of course. Sometimes platforms twiddle to make things better for end users or business customers.
For example, Emily Baker-White from Forbes revealed the existence of a back-end feature that Tiktok’s management can access they call the “heating tool.”
When a manager applies the heating toll to a performer’s account, that performer’s videos are thrust into the feeds of millions of users, without regard to whether the recommendation algorithm predicts they will enjoy that video.
Why would they do this? Well, here’s an analogy from my boyhood I used to go to this traveling fair that would come to Toronto at the end of every summer, the Canadian National Exhibition. If you’ve been to a fair like the Ex, you know that you can always spot some guy lugging around a comedically huge teddy bear.
Nominally, you win that teddy bear by throwing five balls in a peach-basket, but to a first approximation, no one has ever gotten five balls to stay in that peach-basket.
That guy “won” the teddy bear when a carny on the midway singled him out and said, "fella, I like your face. Tell you what I’m gonna do: You get just one ball in the basket and I’ll give you this keychain, and if you amass two keychains, I’ll let you trade them in for one of these galactic-scale teddy-bears."
That’s how the guy got his teddy bear, which he now has to drag up and down the midway for the rest of the day.
Why the hell did that carny give away the teddy bear? Because it turns the guy into a walking billboard for the midway games. If that dopey-looking Judas Goat can get five balls into a peach basket, then so can you.
Except you can’t.
Tiktok’s heating tool is a way to give away tactical giant teddy bears. When someone in the TikTok brain trust decides they need more sports bros on the platform, they pick one bro out at random and make him king for the day, heating the shit out of his account.
That guy gets a bazillion views and he starts running around on all the sports bro forums trumpeting his success: *I am the Louis Pasteur of sports bro influencers!"
The other sports bros pile in and start retooling to make content that conforms to the idiosyncratic Tiktok format. When they fail to get giant teddy bears of their own, they assume that it’s because they’re doing Tiktok wrong, because they don’t know about the heating tool.
But then comes the day when the TikTok Star Chamber decides they need to lure in more astrologers, so they take the heat off that one lucky sports bro, and start heating up some lucky astrologer.
Giant teddy bears are all over the place: those Uber drivers who were boasting to the NYT ten years ago about earning $50/hour? The Substackers who were rolling in dough? Joe Rogan and his hundred million dollar Spotify payout? Those people are all the proud owners of giant teddy bears, and they’re a steal.
Because every dollar they get from the platform turns into five dollars worth of free labor from suckers who think they just internetting wrong.
Giant teddy bears are just one way of twiddling. Platforms can play games with every part of their business logic, in highly automated ways, that allows them to quickly and efficiently siphon value from end users to business customers and back again, hiding the pea in a shell game conducted at machine speeds, until they’ve got everyone so turned around that they take all the value for themselves.
That’s the how: How the platforms do the trick where they are good to users, then lock users in, then maltreat users to be good to business customers, then lock in those business customers, then take all the value for themselves.
So now we know what is happening, and how it is happening, all that’s left is why it’s happening.
Now, on the one hand, the why is pretty obvious. The less value that end-users and business customers capture, the more value there is left to divide up among the shareholders and the executives.
That’s why, but it doesn’t tell you why now. Companies could have done this shit at any time in the past 20 years, but they didn’t. Or at least, the successful ones didn’t. The ones that turned themselves into piles of shit got treated like piles of shit. We avoided them and they died.
Remember Myspace? Yahoo Search? Livejournal? Sure, they’re still serving some kind of AI slop or programmatic ad junk if you hit those domains, but they’re gone.
And there’s the clue: It used to be that if you enshittified your product, bad things happened to your company. Now, there are no consequences for enshittification, so everyone’s doing it.
Let’s break that down: What stops a company from enshittifying?
There are four forces that discipline tech companies. The first one is, obviously, competition.
If your customers find it easy to leave, then you have to worry about them leaving
Many factors can contribute to how hard or easy it is to depart a platform, like the network effects that Facebook has going for it. But the most important factor is whether there is anywhere to go.
Back in 2012, Facebook bought Insta for a billion dollars. That may seem like chump-change in these days of eleven-digit Big Tech acquisitions, but that was a big sum in those innocent days, and it was an especially big sum to pay for Insta. The company only had 13 employees, and a mere 25 million registered users.
But what mattered to Zuckerberg wasn’t how many users Insta had, it was where those users came from.
[Does anyone know where those Insta users came from?]
That’s right, they left Facebook and joined Insta. They were sick of FB, even though they liked the people there, they hated creepy Zuck, they hated the platform, so they left and they didn’t come back.
So Zuck spent a cool billion to recapture them, A fact he put in writing in a midnight email to CFO David Ebersman, explaining that he was paying over the odds for Insta because his users hated him, and loved Insta. So even if they quit Facebook (the platform), they would still be captured Facebook (the company).
Now, on paper, Zuck’s Instagram acquisition is illegal, but normally, that would be hard to stop, because you’d have to prove that he bought Insta with the intention of curtailing competition.
But in this case, Zuck tripped over his own dick: he put it in writing.
But Obama’s DoJ and FTC just let that one slide, following the pro-monopoly policies of Reagan, Bush I, Clinton and Bush II, and setting an example that Trump would follow, greenlighting gigamergers like the catastrophic, incestuous Warner-Discovery marriage.
Indeed, for 40 years, starting with Carter, and accelerating through Reagan, the US has encouraged monopoly formation, as an official policy, on the grounds that monopolies are “efficient.”
If everyone is using Google Search, that’s something we should celebrate. It means they’ve got the very best search and wouldn’t it be perverse to spend public funds to punish them for making the best product?
But as we all know, Google didn’t maintain search dominance by being best. They did it by paying bribes. More than 20 billion per year to Apple alone to be the default Ios search, plus billions more to Samsung, Mozilla, and anyone else making a product or service with a search-box on it, ensuring that you never stumble on a search engine that’s better than theirs.
Which, in turn, ensured that no one smart invested big in rival search engines, even if they were visibly, obviously superior. Why bother making something better if Google’s buying up all the market oxygen before it can kindle your product to life?
Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Amazon – they’re not “making things” companies, they’re “buying things” companies, taking advantage of official tolerance for anticompetitive acquisitions, predatory pricing, market distorting exclusivity deals and other acts specifically prohibited by existing antitrust law.
Their goal is to become too big to fail, because that makes them too big to jail, and that means they can be too big to care.
Which is why Google Search is a pile of shit and everything on Amazon is dropshipped garbage that instantly disintegrates in a cloud of offgassed volatile organic compounds when you open the box.
Once companies no longer fear losing your business to a competitor, it’s much easier for them to treat you badly, because what’re you gonna do?
Remember Lily Tomlin as Ernestine the AT&T operator in those old SNL sketches? “We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.”
Competition is the first force that serves to discipline companies and the enshittificatory impulses of their leadership, and we just stopped enforcing competition law.
It takes a special kind of smooth-brained asshole – that is, an establishment economist – to insist that the collapse of every industry from eyeglasses to vitamin C into a cartel of five or fewer companies has nothing to do with policies that officially encouraged monopolization.
It’s like we used to put down rat poison and we didn’t have a rat problem.Then these dickheads convinced us that rats were good for us and we stopped putting down rat poison, and now rats are gnawing our faces off and they’re all running around saying, "Who’s to say where all these rats came from? Maybe it was that we stopped putting down poison, but maybe it’s just the Time of the Rats. The Great Forces of History bearing down on this moment to multiply rats beyond all measure!"
Antitrust didn’t slip down that staircase and fall spine-first on that stiletto: they stabbed it in the back and then they pushed it.
And when they killed antitrust, they also killed regulation, the second force that disciplines companies. Regulation is possible, but only when the regulator is more powerful than the regulated entities. When a company is bigger than the government, it gets damned hard to credibly threaten to punish that company, no matter what its sins.
That’s what protected IBM for all those years when it had its boot on the throat of the American tech sector. Do you know, the DOJ fought to break up IBM in the courts from 1970-1982, and that every year, for 12 consecutive years, IBM spent more on lawyers to fight the USG than the DOJ Antitrust Division spent on all the lawyers fighting every antitrust case in the entire USA?
IBM outspent Uncle Sam for 12 years. People called it “Antitrust’s Vietnam.” All that money paid off, because by 1982, the president was Ronald Reagan, a man whose official policy was that monopolies were “efficient." So he dropped the case, and Big Blue wriggled off the hook.
It’s hard to regulate a monopolist, and it’s hard to regulate a cartel. When a sector is composed of hundreds of competing companies, they compete. They genuinely fight with one another, trying to poach each others’ customers and workers. They are at each others’ throats.
It’s hard enough for a couple hundred executives to agree on anything. But when they’re legitimately competing with one another, really obsessing about how to eat each others’ lunches, they can’t agree on anything.
The instant one of them goes to their regulator with some bullshit story, about how it’s impossible to have a decent search engine without fine-grained commercial surveillance; or how it’s impossible to have a secure and easy to use mobile device without a total veto over which software can run on it; or how it’s impossible to administer an ISP’s network unless you can slow down connections to servers whose owners aren’t paying bribes for “premium carriage"; there’s some *other company saying, “That’s bullshit”
“We’ve managed it! Here’s our server logs, our quarterly financials and our customer testimonials to prove it.”
100 companies are a rabble, they're a mob. They can’t agree on a lobbying position. They’re too busy eating each others’ lunch to agree on how to cater a meeting to discuss it.
But let those hundred companies merge to monopoly, absorb one another in an incestuous orgy, turn into five giant companies, so inbred they’ve got a corporate Habsburg jaw, and they become a cartel.
It’s easy for a cartel to agree on what bullshit they’re all going to feed their regulator, and to mobilize some of the excess billions they’ve reaped through consolidation, which freed them from “wasteful competition," so they can capture their regulators completely.
You know, Congress used to pass federal consumer privacy laws? Not anymore.
The last time Congress managed to pass a federal consumer privacy law was in 1988: The Video Privacy Protection Act. That’s a law that bans video-store clerks from telling newspapers what VHS cassettes you take home. In other words, it regulates three things that have effectively ceased to exist.
The threat of having your video rental history out there in the public eye was not the last or most urgent threat the American public faced, and yet, Congress is deadlocked on passing a privacy law.
Tech companies’ regulatory capture involves a risible and transparent gambit, that is so stupid, it’s an insult to all the good hardworking risible transparent ruses out there.
Namely, they claim that when they violate your consumer, privacy or labor rights, It’s not a crime, because they do it with an app.
Algorithmic wage discrimination isn’t illegal wage theft: we do it with an app.
Spying on you from asshole to appetite isn’t a privacy violation: we do it with an app.
And Amazon’s scam search tool that tricks you into paying 29% more than the best match for your query? Not a ripoff. We do it with an app.
0 notes
darkwritingsnshit · 5 years
Text
Living the Dream
Tumblr media
Chapter 1
Steve didn’t understand why you were so upset. This was what you wanted. He had heard you tell Nat and your brother when you would hang out and chill on the couch. This was your dream. Married to someone who loved you, the two of you would have kids, and you would never have to work, Steve would make sure of that, he would take care of everything. He would always take care of you. So why were you reacting like this? He did not appreciate your attitude.
 Your brother worked at Stark Tower, he was a soldier, that’s all your family had been told, that he had special clearance and that he worked for the government, mostly overseas. You hadn’t been close until your mother and father died, and for some reason your brother felt like it was his fault. It most certainly was not, but he made sure you two had a closer relationship after that. He was a soldier, yes, but his government position had him on secret missions, taking government issued “enhancements” and working with superheroes. Not exactly NSA stuff, but not strictly Army either.
Either way, as you two became closer he let you know more about him. It wasn’t your job, but he would occasionally ask you to the Tower, you helped Bruce and Tony with coding and electronics. Your father always had a garage full of half functioning radios, circuit boards, satellite pieces, cables and cars, and out of boredom you had become pretty good at figuring out how to take things apart and put them back together. When you had enough money saved up, you even convinced your father to let you buy one of the first computers that could fit inside the garage, so you could yank it to pieces, just to rebuild it. Most of the Stark tech was far more advanced than you could comprehend, but there were a few things you could tinker with and help Bruce and Tony get into working order.
You weren’t close with people there, but what seemed like workplace friendships developed, and once a week or so you would hang out in the common areas with your brother, movie nights and takeout, and everyone would fall into a pleasant conversation together.
“You know this isn’t my day job, right?” You asked your brother when he called, yet again, and asked you to come give a different perspective to Tony and Bruce. “I have other things to do between 9 and 5, you know that right?”
“Yes, I know that, but this is important. Will you come down after work?” He asked over the phone. “I’ll buy you dinner.” He was trying to bribe you.
“Okay fine, but I’m not going to enjoy it at all. I’m going to complain the entire time.”
“Deal! See you after 5!” Your brother ended the call before you could mutter out another snappy response.
At 5, you ended your last therapy session for the day, and headed towards the tower. Even though you promised your brother you weren’t going to have a good time, the thought of working with your hands made you a little bit happy. You loved your job but getting covered in engine grease and making things whirr had always been a hobby you’d enjoyed.
 When you arrived at the tower, your brother didn’t greet you as usual, but instead Steve Rodgers did, Captain America, the self-righteous, stand up guy himself. Steve was always nice to you, but his holier than though attitude rubbed you the wrong way. Not to mention it seemed incredibly hypocritical given that his best friend was a mercenary who spent the last 70 years murdering people for sport. But whatever, he was always kind, and seemed to be politely interested in your life. Hardly the worst person to greet you.
“Hey! Good to see you! You know, you really don’t come down here often enough, we all miss seeing your face around here.” Steve welcomed you with a smile.
“Hey Steve, it’s good to see you too. Do you know where my brother ran off to? He asked me to come over after work but he’s not answering my texts.” Your brother was a godawful communicator. You had told him multiple times that you didn’t understand why he even had a cell phone if he never used it to answer calls or texts.
“Yeah, he and Sam went out on a call. They should be back late tonight or tomorrow morning. He didn’t tell you?” Steve looked confused. But it figured, after all, this was not the first time.
“Well there goes my free dinner.” You huffed. Steve laughed.
“I’m 110% sure that Tony has enough pocket change to get you some dinner. You do a lot of free work for him, he does appreciate it. You want me to help you strongarm him into making a dinner order?” He offered, as the two of you started walking downstairs to Tony’s state of the art laboratory.
“Nah, that’s okay. I’ll just tell him I won’t do any work until he places an order for pad Thai. I’m pretty sure Bruce will join the labor strike, he has a soft spot for spring rolls.” You joked. Steve smiled as you peeked through the glass to see what Tony and Bruce were tinkering with as you approached.
“Hey, will you stay for a movie after you guys are through with your new toys? Nat and I got a couple new releases that we couldn’t see in the theater, we’d love you to join us, like I said, we don’t see enough of you.” Steve looked eager, and almost nervous.
“Sure, depending on how late Tony wants to play with his toys,” you replied, “if it’s not too late I’ll stick around.” Steve smiled so wide you were surprised it didn’t hurt his face.
“Great! I can’t wait- well we can’t wat to see you, the movies are supposed to be good.” Steve waved goodbye as you walked through the lab doors, shrugging into a lab coat, tying your hair up so it didn’t get singed off again by some “toy” Tony neglected to make sure didn’t start fires.
“Okay, what’ve we got today?” Both Tony and Bruce looked up from the bench, happy to see you again.
  It wasn’t actually that late, hardly 8pm. You, Bruce and Tony had been able to work out whatever bugs there were in a very short amount of time, and there was a whole mess of Thai food about to be delivered to the Tower. You headed up to the common area, kitchen that opened into a comfy seating area. This is where you came to hang out with your brother, large TV and fast wifi. It was pretty great. Steve and Nat were sitting on opposite couches, bickering about which movie to choose.
“What do you think? You get to choose, you’re the one who’s been getting exploited for your talent down in that lab, you to choose tonight.” Nat piped up once she saw you enter the room.
“Hey, I’m down for whatever, I’m just waiting on my dinner. I’m not getting in a fight over a movie.” You were grateful when Tony came in holding three bags that smelled delicious, and began to get plates out for everyone.
Once they had finally decided on a movie, and everyone had food, you situated yourself on a couch. Steve had decided to encroach on your space by getting far too close on the loveseat you had meant to sit on alone. His thighs pushed against yours as you tried to eat and watch the movie you didn’t really care about paying attention to.
Halfway though, Steve decided to stretch out his arms, which you now found slightly around your shoulders. You didn’t notice how his face darkened when you leaned forward, and you tried to ignore him when he pressed even closer as the movie dragged on. You were annoyed that he was taking up ¾ of the space on the loveseat, but technically this was his residence, and you were a visitor. Besides the movie was almost done, and you were ready to go home, have tea, and collapse into bed.
As you put the dishes in the dishwasher and gathered your things, Steve walked up behind you. This man seemed to be oblivious to the term ‘personal space’ as he was again too close for comfort.
“So, what did you think of the movie?” He asked from behind you.
“It was cute,” you said, “it’s everything someone hopes for, you know? The perfect millennial pipe dream, wonderful and unattainable.” The thoughts of your future were jaded.
“How so? It seemed great to me, perfect, but not unattainable.” Steve replied. You laughed.
“Steve, not a single person I know could have that. We’re millennials. A happy marriage is something only lucky people manage, and the mother not having to work after two kids? Wild. I mean I’d love that, but I could never afford something like that. A beautiful house in that kind of neighborhood, with two kids on a single income? Like I said, it was a good ending, just not something I can see happening in this day and age.” The movie had been good, but the ending lacked substance. Having everything tied up with a bow, a happy marriage, happy kids, happy life, that was just a cop out as far as you were concerned.
“Call me old fashioned, but that’s how it used to be. Mom didn’t work, dad took care of everything. Nuclear family.”
“Shit, yeah, that would be nice. But I don’t know anyone that would actually work out for, certainly not for me.”
“Hey, never say never.” Steve said with a smile.
“Yeah, I guess.” You weren’t too concerned with the nuclear family you were sure was not going to happen.
“It’s dark out there, maybe you should just crash in your brother’s room.”
“I’m okay,” you replied, “I like my own bed.”
“Can I drive you home at least? It’s an eerie city once the sun’s gone down.”
“No, thank you though, I’ve got my own car. I appreciate it.” You had spent enough time in the tower, it was time for rest and relaxation- alone. Too many people and not enough alone time made you uncomfortable, being alone in your cozy apartment always soothed you.
“I’ll, uh, I’ll see you tomorrow then, yeah?” Steve asked. You weren’t sure why he was hanging around so much, everyone else had left.
“Yeah, if they need some help. We’ll see what my schedule looks like. I’ll probably be around.” You were waving and walking away, over the conversation, over the night, just ready for some peace.
170 notes · View notes
chuckepisodes · 4 years
Text
Chuck vs. The Tango Part 2
Tumblr media
Chuck and Casey were working at the Buy More today and you stopped in to discuss the plans tonight with them quietly. And luckily it was your day off today. "So, dress attire for this evening-- uh, sneakers, or are we classifying this as more of a shoe event? " Chuck asked. "I rented you a tux. And Sarah got Y/N a dress." "She did?" you asked. "Oh, that's very nice... how did you know my size?" "NSA-- they have records of your rental information from prom night. And that's how Sarah figured out your dress size too." You and Chuck looked completely confused. " I checked the suit in your closet. And Sarah just looked at you and knew what size you were." "Okay, this is our first foray into major undercover spy work, so you could ease up on the sarcasm. That would be great. And how are we supposed to recognize La Ciudad? Is there a picture or something?" Chuck asked. "If there was a photograph, why would we need you?" " What did we just talk about? " You said. "I'm sorry. We're hoping something in the event triggers a flash." " See, that's all you had to say." You said crossing your arms staring at Casey. "Now, uh, hand-to-hand combat-- in all seriousness, if it comes down to me or Y/N and La Ciudad in some fisticuffs or something, is there, like, a 20-minute tutorial you can take us through?" "Don't worry. You guys are going to be fine. Nothing's going to happen to you. Assuming you know how to tango. " "Seriously?" Chuck asked looking a little scared. " Oh, I don't joke about your life."
All of a sudden Morgan appeared in front of you and Chuck. "Hey Sarah is here!" You and Chuck turned around to find Sarah waiting by the entrance. You walked over to Sarah as Chuck began walking the other way with Morgan. "One minute, I have computers to fix." Chuck said calling out to the both of you. "Don't worry about it. We got it. There's only a few left. " Anna said. "What? Are you sure?" "Yeah go spend time with the girls. But you cover for me next time I get to hang out with two gorgeous women." Lester said. "Okay. Great. Thanks, team. I'll see you tomorrow." Chuck said quickly turning back around and heading towards you and Sarah. "Where are you lovebirds headed along with Sarah?" Morgan asked. " We're actually going to an art auction at the Wilshire grand." " Swanky! Yeah, I like it, man. But kinda weird since you still have yet to tell Y/N how you feel and you have her best friend coming along with you guys again. Dude! You got to tell her!" Chuck then turned around and grabbed Morgan by his shoulders. "Listen, it's not that easy okay? She's been my best friend since we were little kids. I want to find the perfect time to tell her okay? It may take some time but it will come." "Alright man... Just don't take too long because you are killing us here." "Yeah thanks Morgan." Chuck then turned back towards you and Sarah and you gave him a big smile. You then linked arms with both Chuck and Sarah and walked out of the Buy More.
You were now all sitting outside of Weinerlicious on one of the patio tables, going over some details. "The idea with a cover is to keep it as simple as possible without revealing true personal detail. Any thoughts on a name guys?" Sarah asked you two. " Charles Carmichael? Simple, dignified." Chuck answered. " Easy to remember and not far off from..." Sarah started. Then Chuck went off. " Graduated with honors from Stanford. Runs a hugely successful software company. Semi-retired and is considering entering America's cup." He finished. You raised your eyebrows, amazed Chuck already came up with all that. "Have you done this before? " Sarah asked impressed. "Let's just say, uh, Mr. Carmichael and I share a small kinship." "How's that?" you asked turning towards him. " When I first entered Stanford, it's kind of where I envisioned myself being by now, except for the sailing part. I don't really know where that came from. But he's where most of my class already is." "So, what happened? " Sarah asked. "My life took a little detour sophomore year when our old friend Bryce Larkin discovered stolen tests under my bed, and was kind enough to alert administration." "Did you steal the tests?" "I thought it was kind of implied that I'm a decent person." "Well, we all make mistakes." " And I made plenty. That just wasn't one of them. But, hey, then Bryce sent me a whole database of government secrets that are now locked in my and Y/N's brain, keeping me in a constant state of fear, danger and anxiety, and I'm sure Y/NN feels the same so I'd say we're even." You looked at Chuck and placed your hand on his arm and rubbed it gently. You remember that night when he called you telling you what happened, upset clear in his voice. You remember driving from UCLA down to Stanford to pick up Chuck and take him home and stayed with him the whole night as you tried to cheer him up and to just be there for him. "What about you Y/N? Have you thought of your cover?" Sarah asked you. "Honestly? I couldn't think of anything. I'm not as good at this as Chuck is apparently." Sarah looked at you and gave you a little smirk. "Well I have an idea. Since you two are always gonna be together on missions to get info, you could go as Y/N Carmichael. Charles' wife." You and Chuck both looked at Sarah shocked. "Oh uh...I mean... I uh..." you started. You started blushing furiously just thinking about going undercover as husband and wife with Chuck. Chuck then spoke up. "I mean... I would be okay with it." Chuck said looking at you with a knowing smile. "And it does make sense." "Ummm...okay. Sure!" Sarah could see you still blushing like crazy and smiled. She knew you had it so bad for Chuck. "Perfect! And don't be worried about tonight. No reason to be nervous. I won't be leaving your sides." She said placing her hands on your arms. "Me nervous? Never." Chuck said. "Your hands can get a little moist Chuck." you said looking at him. " It does that when I'm freaking out." He said looking between you and Sarah.
You followed Chuck down to his place. Neither of you knew how to tango and you were both curious if Ellie knew anything at all. "Hey sis!" "Hey Ellie!" "Um... do you know how to tango?" Chuck asked. " No, why?" "Oh, no reason." you said waving it off. "It's just this outing we are going to go to with Sarah." "You two are tangoing  along with Sarah? Well, that's definitely new territory. What kind of hangout is this?" Ellie asked. "A real fancy one." Chuck said. "Did someone say tango?" Devon said coming out of the bathroom, wearing just a towel around his waist. " No, thank you, captain awesome, I'll look it up online. Would you please put on something, a robe or something?" Chuck asked feeling uncomfortable. " Did a semester abroad in Buenos Aires. Spent many nights tangoing my way into señoritas' pantalones."
Devon took Chuck out into the living room and set up some tango music. "Oh this I have to watch." you said standing beside Ellie. "Y/N you are going to tango too you know? Why aren't you getting in on this?" "Oh I'll be fine! I learn better by watching." you said giving Chuck a wink. You and Ellie stood off to the side watching Chuck and Devon tango together. You were both trying so hard not to laugh. Chuck was looking so uncomfortable the entire time. Once they were done Devon looked over at you. "You want to try Y/N?" "No I think I'll be good. I got it." you said still trying not to laugh.
It was the night of the art auction. Chuck was at home getting his tux on and trying to tie his bow tie. You were once again driving down to Chuck's place where Sarah  will pick you two up along with Casey. Ellie was busy trying to button up the sleeves on Chuck's shirt when the doorbell rang. Ellie ran over to grab the door knowing it would be you. "Hey Y/N! Wow! You look stunning!" She said looking at you. "Aw  thank you!" Chuck was looking over at the door and his jaw dropped when he saw you. You were wearing a long sleeved maroon gown that had a slit on the right side that went up to you thigh. You wore hair down with waves and had natural eye makeup with a dark red lipstick. You noticed how Chuck was staring at you and you began to blush.
Tumblr media
"Y/N...Wow... you look...wow." "You don't think it's too much?" "Too much? No! Are you kidding. You look... perfect." You looked down trying to hide your blush once again. "Thanks Chuck." You then looked back up at him and noticed how handsome he looked in his tux. "You look real good too." Ellie stood to the side watching you two and hoping you two would hook up soon. It was killing her watching you two act like that and not be together yet. You then heard Casey knock on your door and a honk from outside. "Well. That must be them. Let's go." Chuck said and you both linked arms as you walked out. Ready to do your first real mission together.
5 notes · View notes
ironwoman18 · 4 years
Text
The Worst Third Date Ever part 24
Chapter 24: We have a hostage situation part 2
Max took some pictures with her phone, trying to not be obvious about it. She decided to sent them to Prentiss.
Before she sent them, she added some information like adding a Russian on the man who was leading the operation and then a Spanish flag to let them know he must speak that language.
She sent it and put her phone back in her pocket. She just prayed it help them a little.
Back with Spencer and Ashley they were looking every list of the Interpol looking for someone.
"Hey Reid" he looked at her "I know how you feel, once my ex boyfriend got kidnapped and my unit saved him bit them... well he started to get nervous because of my job even though I'm not a field agent so I ended it up"
Spencer smiled softly "yeah this job is tough, especially for our loved ones" Reid saw a picture of a man and something clicked "this guy looks familiar. Who is he?"
"Nikolai..." she made a dramatic pause and said "...Krasinski! He is the big brother of Ivan, both are from Saint Petersburg and their parents were members of the KGB and they are part of this terrorist organization since 2017 causing troubles around the world" she read excited.
"Excellent, we have the name of the man who spoke with Prentiss now we need the rest of his team. I will tell Emily and Rossi" he said "you keep looking Dawson" she nodded and he left.
He walked in the trailer "Emily, Dave..." he said and looked how they were focused on her phone "what's up?"
"Max" Emily looked at him "she sent us some pictures from inside" Spencer walked to them "apparently there are four members of this terrorist group. And she put a Russian flag on this man and a Spain flag on this other"
"I think that's mean this man is Russian and this other speaks Spanish" said Spencer looking at his supervisor's phone "Dawson and I found out who the leader of the team was. Nikolai Krasinski"
"Like the man we have in our office?" He nodded "we finally have some advantages today"
"Let me speak with him. Maybe with the new information I may get him to negotiate with me"
"Spencer..."
"Trust in me, Emily, you know I'm completely focused in the case. Yes my fiancee is in there but I'm a professional and I won't risk 132 life there because of one person"
"I know Spencer but first... we need something to negotiate. Ask Dawson to look all the people who work in this school" he nodded and walked out.
Meanwhile Max was helping the kids to remain calm singing softly some of there favorite songs.
"Sir I'm worry, the FBI is so calm outside, shouldn't we negotiate with them?"
"You never watched those Americans films? The moment we accept a deal, the will fool us and them... prison... dead penalty"
"And what are we gonna do?" Asked the guy at the other end of the room "wait till they decide to kill us? I bet you watched Captain Phillips. They kill the pirates on a ship... moving... we aren't better dudes" he sounded American. So they have a Russian, a Latin kid and an American. There's only one guy who has not spoken yet.
She informed this to Emily. Via WhatsApp, she put her phone back in her pocket, one of her coworkers noticed this and looked at her shocked and Max put a finger on her lips saying to her to stay quiet.
Her coworker nodded and looked as the men kept fighting about negotiate or not.
At the FBI camp outside the school Ashley found something important "Reid... come over" the young doctor walked to her "I found something important, Darcy Johnson is a teacher in that school, she has type 2 diabetes and if she does not have her insulin in time, she may die"
"That's perfect for our negotiations" said Spencer, then he walked to Emily "Emily, Dawson found there's a teacher with diabetes in there"
"And inside we have an American citizen" Spencer lifted his eyebrow "Max heard him, and she informed me"
"Ok. Emily I think we have something to negotiate with them"
"Yeah but we don't have anything they want" said Emily looking at Spencer.
"We have Ivan, maybe we can use him" Prentiss made an unsure face "Maybe food? They had been there like an hour and thirty minutes"
"Let's see if this work" he looked at her and nodded "I know you want it to work somehow but use that logical brain we all love and want to work at it's full speed"
He sighed "I just... can't lose Max, I wouldn't forget myself if that happens again" he looked at her "let me talk to him, I will block my emotions"
After some minutes of silence Emily nodded "ok Spence. But if I notice any indication of anger or frustration, I will give the order to hang out the call. Is that clear?" He nodded "ok good".
They walked out the trailer and Prentiss ordered to call the kidnappers again and she handed the phone to Spencer.
He decided to speak in Russian, he worked on his pronunciation and now was perfectly fluent in the language. He called him by his name and the man sounded surprised.
Then Spencer explained there was a woman in there with diabetes and she will soon need her medication also he asked for any person who may be hurt. They know a teacher had some bruises thanks to Max but he never mentioned they already knew.
The man said yes and Spencer started to negotiate. He said they will send food and drinks for the kids, teachers and theirselves if they released the two teachers that needed medical treatment.
"Ok Doctor Reid, we have a deal but only if you come here, unarmed" said him with his thick accent.
Emily looked at Spencer "Deal... I will go in" then they hung out.
"Spence... why did you do that? I won't send you there unarmed, with four unsub alone"
"It's the only way we can get the critical hostage out of there" he said looking at her "I know you think I didn't use my logical brain but I did and that's the only way Emily"
"I will thrust in your decisions Spencer but if some go the wrong way, I will have the judgment of the NSA and the politicians"
"I understand" he nodded "and I won't let it happens" he turned to Ashley "did you find something else?"
"Yes the same day Nikolai Krasinski and his brother arrived, a flight from Colombia arrived, a man called Carlos Ramirez got in the country. He was accused to work with the FARC- EP as a drug dealer. Never used a gun and the authorities of Colombia forgave him for saying the authorities everything he knew about the narco traffic. That's why he walked in our country so easily" she said "and the Krasinski brothers and Mr. Ramirez had several chats with Andrew Davis, an American citizen who was anti capitalism and all the antis you can imagine"
"They met here to cause a riot in the nation and also kill an opponent in the inclusion of Crimea in the Russian territory" said Emily "killing two birds with one stone"
"Yeah but we need one more name, because according to Max picture, there's one more person in there" added Rossi.
"I know but I'm not sure how we will find him. Because they only test between them" said Ashley looking at her computer.
After that they made the call to ordered the food and water for the negotiation also ordered some ambulance to take care of the two patients.
"What make you think everyone is safe in there?" Asked a man from the DCPD.
"Normally if there's not a murder, it's mean the men inside don't want to kill and we will have some good negotiations" explained Spencer "now what's bothering me is that they haven't said their demands"
"Like?"
"Like 'we can 10 billion dollars without marks' or 'we want an airplane' they haven't asked for anything"
"What would that means?"
"They don't have a backup plan and this was improvised, which turn this into a trap or it's just a fail"
"Let's hope it's the first one"
"Yeah..." that makes Spencer's brain works. He was happy his brain was a lot better from his nearly death experience and could think faster.
"I can hear you thinking kid... what's up?"
"This hostage situation isn't normal. They haven't kill someone or even shot, like when Will got in the bank and got shot"
"Don't remember that Spence" said JJ "I still have nightmares"
"They haven't set their demands or ask to make public statements about their cause" Spencer opens the website of this group "see this? They have an agenda and I can't see that in this situation, they are a political group that caused troubles around the world and now they haven't made it public?"
"You are right but what's their plan?" Said Rossi.
"I don't know..." said Spencer. His brain was working as fast as usual.
The team tried to make connections when the food arrived. And Spencer call Nikolai to let him know he will approach them with some people of his team to help him with the food. He was a little reluctant at first but then accepted.
Inside Nikolai said "ok who will be a good human shield for me?" He looked around "um... what about pretty art teacher?" He points Max "come here you will be my protection if they want to shot me"
Max stood up shaking and walked towards him then the man walked to the main door with another guy from his group.
When they reached the door she could see Spencer with JJ and a woman she did not know, maybe the new girl bringing each woman some boxes of pizza while he carried the bottles of water.
She could tell he already saw her, she could read his eyes but his poker face remained still to not give information to her kidnapper.
"Well... well... well... Dr Reid bring two beautiful women with him" he laughed checking out both of them. Max felt disgusted "pretty art teacher, before he gets in, check if he doesn't carry a gun" Max did it shaking.
"He doesn't have any gun" Max said using her poker face too, the same that fouled Cat Adams.
"Good" then Nikolai said "since you most know my conrad's name... Ramirez check him just in case miss pretty art teacher didn't want to say the truth" the Latin boy did it.
"Nothing Nikolai"
"Ok let's go so you check those women you wanted" Spencer nodded to JJ and Ashley and they handed a box to Max and the other to Ramirez then they walked inside the gym.
They put the food on the floor and Spencer checked the two women and with his eyes tried to find a way out or a way to hit them with hurting the children or the teachers.
"I will take them with me. This woman needs her medication and this other needs medical attention"
"Yeah she was very rebellious and Anderson got... violent" Spencer had to close his fist tight and count to ten so he did not punch him.
"Let's go" he looked at Max from the corner of his eyes and she looked back then he lifted the two women and take them out of the gym.
On his way to the door one of them said "so you are Max's boyfriend right?" He nodded "nice to meet you, we were asking for her to bring you here but she said 'no yet' and now a very unpleasant situation brought you here"
He laughed softly "yeah I think this is my way to meet her family and friends" he looked at them "maybe some other day I will come over" they reached the door and there were his coworkers waiting.
JJ helped him with one of them and Ashley helped with the other.
He explained what he saw to them and Ashley said she will call for some drones. Maybe they could attack by surprise.
They took the women to the ambulance to get help them went back to work. Spencer told the rest of the team what he saw.
"Why did he pick Max as his human shield?" Said Spencer getting a cup of coffee.
"Spence... relax they don't know your connection with her, so I doubt they did it on purpose. Maybe because she is pretty and they thought she might distract you. That man is misogynist and I bet he hates women so he got comfortable when you volunteered to be the negotiator"
"Sounds logical" she nodded and held his hand softly.
"We will catch them"
"Thank you JJ" she smiled "I really appreciate this"
"You know I will be there for you Spence" he smiled and squeezed her hand "take a little break here, clear your mind and you can continue" he nodded.
"Ok, mom" he teased her and she laughed softly and hit him gently.
Then she left him in the trailer, a DCPD brought him some pizza and water for lunch and then he walked out to meet the team.
"Do we have something new?"
"No, the forth man is still a mystery for us"
"And he haven't talk cause Max hasn't heard him to informe us" he nodded as Emily talked.
"There's something that keeps bugging me... they haven't give us their demands" he looked at them "that's always something we can expect from this kind of situations" they all nodded. Then Spencer started to drop facts about other hostages situations where they all asked from very important requests to absurd requests.
"You are right Spencer, but we are in an dead end" said Emily "our witness can't say anything because those men covered their faces so we can identify them. But then we found a conversation between them. This is so weird"
That's when something clicked in Spencer's head "where is Mr. Dyatlov?"
"He's with Agent Flanagan. Why?"
"I want to ask him something"
"Come with me" Emily could hear his brain working so she took him with the NSA agent "Agent Flanagan. This is Dr. Spencer Reid and he wants to talk with Mr. Dyatlov"
"Sure, we have a private room here" he lead them in and they sat down.
"Ok Mr. Dyatlov I would like to know, what are you going to say in court?"
"Well I'm going to talk about corruption in Ukraine and I also provide information about the Crimea case. The government is making a deal with Russia to give them money in exchange for their silence"
"Ok and why are you attacking your government with this kind of scandal? The world supports Ukraine, right?"
"Yes but our president is corrupt"
"Ok I understand" then Spencer says something in Ukrainian and the man looked confused.
Spencer read his expression and smiles a little and talked in Russian and Mr. Dyatlov got pale.
"You see this man isn't from Ukraine. He faked his identity. He is from Russia. The thing is, the Ukrainians won't be agree about Russia took part of their territory. Something they fought for after their independence from the Soviet Union, not even if they are opponents of the government"
"I...I..." the man was speechless.
"You put the life of thousands of kids, 32 between teachers and administrator members... for what?"
"I... I was looking to get into the witnesses protection system. I wanted the United States to think I was an important target to Russia. I hired this guys to create a distraction and if the thing went wrong then 'fake kidnap' my son. They sent a manifesto attacking your president and I would end up being a victim of the Russian government"
"You used this kids to have protection?" He nodded and agent Flanagan signed "I'm sorry agent Prentiss and Dr. Reid... I will put this man under arrest"
"But first we need him to call the kidnappers and tell them to surrender" said Emily. Dyatlov nodded and got out his phone and contacted them. He spoke in Russian, Emily and Spencer noticed he was giving the order and then the agent cuffed Dyatlov and left.
Spencer and Emily sighed "good job Spence" she patted his back.
"Thank you Emily" he smiled.
They walked out of the NSA tent and they could see how everyone walked out of the school the SWAT team got the hostage takers.
Spencer walked to one of the ambulances and saw Max helping some kids. He smiled and walked towards her.
"Hey" he said softly touching her back gently. She turned and hugged him he hugged her back "are you ok?"
She nodded "y...yes, I'm still a little shocked but good" she rubbed his cheek with some tears in her eyes.
He rubbed her cheeks "good, do you want to leave?" She nodded and hugged him tightly with her head on his chest "ok let's go"
OOooOOooOO
That's all for now, I was a little stuck with this one but I read a lot about negotiations, also I had the plan to make Dyatlov the real unsub. So I had to look on internet if the Russian and the Ukrainian languages were different from each others.
And I found out they are. Like Spanish and Portuguese or even English and German. They came from the same language family but they added different words or even meanings of the same word. It was quite interesting but I'm rambling, sorry.
Thank you for reading. I think the next chapter should be their wedding, don't you agree?
This little plot came to me when I was in the kitchen and I hope I did it well.
We will read in the next one.
3 notes · View notes
ebola-kun · 5 years
Text
How PRIVATE YACHT fed their old songs to the equipment and acquired a great new cd|Ars Technica
Tumblr media
The band YACHT, called for an unexplainable indication observed in Pdx around the turn of the century.
YACHT/ Google.com I/O 2019
PRIVATE YACHT's Claire Evans takes show business not to shake out, but to chat out the band's brand new album leveraging expert system as well as device discovering.
Google.com I/O 2019
Cd art for Chain Tripping. Listed here's the Spotify link.
The dancing thug band LUXURY YACHT has actually constantly felt like a relatively techy act due to the fact that debuting in the early 2000s. They notoriously tape-recorded crucial models of two earlier cds as well as made them offered for artists under an Imaginative Commons permit at the Free Popular Music Repository. Post-Snowden, they composed a track phoned "Party at the NSA" as well as donated proceeds to the EFF. One cd cover of their own can simply be actually accessed via facsimile in the beginning (sent with a Web application LUXURY YACHT created to ID the closest facsimile to groups of supporters; OfficeMax must've adored it). Performer Claire L. Evans practically created guide () on female trailblazers of the Internet.
When Evans revealed up at Google.com I/O this summer months, our company knew she wasn't just bring in an advertising look ala Drake or The Foo Fighters. In a talk labelled "Popular music and also Artificial Intelligence," Evans instead strolled an area loaded with creators via a quite cool available secret that waited for popular music supporters up until this weekend break: LUXURY YACHT had been actually spending the last three years composing a new cd referred to as(out yesterday, August 30). As well as the procedure took a moment because the band wished to do it along with what Evans got in touch with "a machine-learning generated composition method."
"I understand this isn't the technological means to reveal it, yet this allowed our company to find tunes hidden in between tracks from our back catalog," she stated during the course of her I/O talk. "Listed below's what the user-facing edge of the model appeared like when our company captured the cd last May-- it is actually a Colab Laptop, certainly not the example performers generally bring right into the workshop."
Enlarge / An examine YACHT's partner with MusicVAE Colab Notebook.YACHT/ Google.com I/O 2019 LUXURY YACHT had long possessed an enthusiasm in Artificial Intelligence and also its own
prospective request in music. The band tells Ars it had not been till lately, around 2016, that the principle of performing a total album using this approach appeared possible. While investigation companies had actually long been actually exploring along with AI or artificial intelligence and enabling personal computers to autonomously produce music, the end results experienced extra science venture than albums ideal for DFA Records (house to labelmates like Hot Potato chip or even Liquid Crystal Displays Soundsystem). Inevitably, a slow trickle of streamlined apps leveraging AI-- deal with swap apps felt massive around then; Snapchat as well as its powerful filters climbed to prominence-- finally offered the band the tip that right now might be the moment."Our company might be an incredibly techy band, yet none of us are actually programmers, "Evans says to Ars."Our experts often tend to come close to stuff coming from the outdoors appearing in as well as make an effort to
identify how to control and also bend over tools to our unusual particular reasons. AI felt like an almost inconceivable point, it was a great deal advanced than everything our experts had actually coped with ... As well as our company wished to use this to certainly not simply practically accomplish the goal of creating music-- so our company can easily claim, 'Hey an AI wrote this stand out tune'-- somewhat our team desired to use this specialist to produce LUXURY YACHT popular music, to make songs our company relate to and also we think originates from our team."Taking a Colab Laptop to a rock workshop Possessing the concept to utilize expert system to in some way create music was actually one point; performing it proved to become another thing completely. The band started by taking a look at every thing accessible:"Our company messed all around along with every little thing that was publicly readily available, some devices that were actually simply confidentially available-- our company chilly emailed each and every individual or even facility or provider teaming up with AI and creative thinking, "as LUXURY YACHT founder Jona Bechtolt puts it. But no singular existing service pretty used the mix of premium and ease of utilization the band had actually anticipated. Therefore, they determined to ultimately create out their personal unit through borrowing bits as well as items coming from across, leveraging their whole entire back directory in the process.One equipment newsworthy Appearing through the lining notes for "A ton of these popular music making devices immediately are actually made by designers that really love music, however they are actually created through designers,"Evans includes."So they frequent passion with the arithmetic by doing this that does not ultimately take into account that the audio outcome of these tools isn't objectively extremely remarkable. You can possess this amazing item of specialist that utilizes sophisticated ML methods to split the difference in between pair of different sounds, yet supposing the outcome seems like a fart?"Essentially, LUXURY YACHT created it benefit all of them by taking advantage of that, emergency room, fart-iness. ("The NSynth for us, our team presumed it drew initially,"Bechtolt acknowledges.)Rather than thinking of the NSynth as one thing that can duplicate or switch out a typical guitar or maybe synth within
an arrangement, the band accepted its strangeness as well as found even more results. Bechtolt notes songs has a long tradition of this particular sort of repurposing-- the 808 drum device didn't appear like true drums, yet its special audio inevitably gave rise to many brand-new genres. Though the band doesn't see the NSynth possessing that tradition."It's bad at what it is actually attempting to do; it's good at one thing it really did not laid out to perform-- that's what's appealing, "Evans includes."It appears rickety, reedy, lo-fi, and also sort of shitty, however in a manner that communicates to us as lo-fi, Do It Yourself performers. ""We understood we will must base whatever on some type of dataset, so beforehand
, our team believed,'Suppose our experts used our rear catalog?"Bechtolt states."Our team naively presumed it would certainly be actually one thing like Shazam, where our company might throw uncooked sound at a protocol. That isn't truly feasible ... "" Or, at the very least, not within the arena of our computer capacity,"Evans adds."So we needed to notate all our tracks in MIDI, which is a laborious procedure,"Bechtolt continues." Our team have 82 tracks in our rear directory, which is still not actually enough to qualify a total style, but it sufficed to work with the devices our experts possessed. "Keeping that MIDI records, Bechtolt as well as
long time partner(bass and also computer keyboards gamer)Rob Kieswetter began through identifying small portions-- a specific guitar riff, a voice tune, a drum norm, anywhere from 2 bars to 16 clubs-- that might be looped, incorporated, as well as essentially gone through the band's simplified AI and also ML version. The band relied heavily on Colab Notebooks in
a Web internet browser-- particularly, the MusicVAE design from Google.com's Magenta crew-- manually inputting the information and afterwards waiting (and hanging around )for a particle of outcome coming from this process. And that AI/ML-generated piece, of training program, was nothing at all greater than data, additional SKIRT information. Evans told I/O the band managed pairs of those loopholes through the Colab Note pad at various heat levels"loads, or even manies opportunities to create this large body system of ariose info"as source product for new tracks. From there certainly, it came to be the humans'turn."It still could not make a tune only through driving a button; it was not an effortless or enjoyable flow to work through, "Bechtolt mentions."So after 3 times, our team were like,'OK, I think we have enough stuff. 'By that aspect our experts possessed a couple of 1000 clips in between two-as well as 16-bars, and also our experts merely must contact it gives up eventually."" It had not been something where our team nourished one thing right into a version, hit print, and had songs," Evans includes.
"Our experts will must be entailed. There would certainly must be actually a human involved at every measure of the procedure to essentially create popular music ... The larger framework, verses, the relationship in between lyrics and also structure-- each of these various other factors are past the modern technology's ability, which is excellent."Providing picture through PRIVATE YACHT/ Google I/O 2019
This content was originally published here.
1 note · View note
lpdwillwrite4coffee · 6 years
Text
Get to know me tag! Thank you @edourado <333 
1. how tall are you?
I’m anywhere between 5′8 and 5′9 depending on who you ask (I always say I’m 5′8)
2. what color and style is your hair?
My NATURAL hair color is strawberry blonde, but it’s currently dyed dark magenta :) the style is a short asymmetrical bob, and my hair is naturally very thick and straight so I often have fun styling it with sea salt spray to give it texture. 
3. what color are your eyes?
Blue green, and my left eye is more blue and my right is more green. It’s actually pretty noticeable in the light
4. do you wear glasses?
I do! I have terrible vision without them as well, so I wear them at all times
5. do you wear braces?
I have never needed braces
6. what is your fashion style?
If the goth girl in your high school grew up, matured a little, decided to like some color, and learned how to style her body instead of just buying things that fit. OR if a mermaid came up on land, was a little cold so she bought a bunch of sweaters, had an affinity for chunky knits and soft fabrics and vintage jewelry, and lived in a cottage on the sea. OR if the off beat step daughter in a second chance RomCom worked in a coffee shop but sang in a grunge band on the weekends. OR if a soul from the 50s got reincarnated and missed the silhouettes of the dresses and the high-waisted jeans, but loves progressive feminism so she wears a rockabilly skirt to the polls when she votes.  Just depends on the day.
7. full name?
Haha, have to be smarter than that NSA! 
8. when were you born?
I’m old enough to remember the sounds of dial up, and how it feels to hang up on someone with a land line phone. And I remember when Nickelodeon cartoons were good.
9. where are you from and where do you live now?
I’m from North Carolina, and I live in Massachusetts now 
10. what school do you go to?
which one and when?
11. what kind of student are you?
I was a really great student by teachers standards, I was a decent student by my mother’s standards, and I was a fuck you student by my own standards.
12. do you like school?
I did until I didn’t. And then I bounced.
13. what are your favorite school subjects?
English and Art. 
14. favorite TV shows?
Hahahaha how much time do you have?
15. favorite movies?
I feel like my favorites change based on where I’m at in my life. I think the movie that changed things for me and made me fall in love with fun story telling was The Mummy
16. favorite books?
How about you try to get me to pick a favorite child?? (lol jk I don’t have kids, but the sentiment stands). Books I recommend that I’ve read recently are Children of Blood and Bone, In the Lies of Men by IR Harris (who is also my friend and I adore her and her work), and LA Noir for you history folks <3
17. favorite pastime?
I..... I don’t know if..... I have...... “pasttimes”........ Cuz my favorite things to do are..... also my work???? I’ve been getting into macrame lately, and made my “headboard” and a driftwood wall hanging that I’m really proud of. But my favorite weird thing to do is get in the car and drive somewhere and just explore. I like finding new places, I love the beauty of back roads and snippets of people’s lives that I get to witness through my car windows.
18. do you have any regrets?
I have plenty but honestly I’m thankful for them because they taught me so much and got me where I am today, so I wouldn’t change anything.
19. dream job?
Exactly what I’m doing-- Writing and creating stories.
20. would you like to get married someday?
I would! I don’t want a normal wedding though. Two words... Surprise Wedding. I want to have a big ole party and then surprise everyone by going “hey guess what! We’re getting married TODAY.” And watch everyone lose their minds lol.
21. would you like to have kids someday?
I very much want children, either my own or adopted. 
23. do you like shopping?
N OOOO OOO OOOO O O O. I hate it. I get in, get out, then get a coffee to reward myself for being in public for so long.
24. what countries have you visited?
I’ve been to the UK (England, Scotland, Wales.) I lived in England for 6 months for study abroad. I’ve also been to Paris, France, and I spent a month in Ireland.
25. what’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?
Probably the one when I was a kid, where I was stuck in a white room with a giant spider and I couldn’t leave to find my mom, and the spider caught me and spun a web around me to trap me like it wanted to eat me. And then I woke up.
26. do you have any enemies?
I dunno............ DO I???
27. do you have an s/o?
Not yet! Feel free to apply though ;)
28. do you believe in miracles?
I do, indeed <3
tagging @kteague @asnowballschance @priya212 @purelyfueledbycaffeine and anyone else who wants to do this! 
6 notes · View notes
Text
Notes on “Crisis in Mid-Life! & Other Stories” Issue 1
Tumblr media
So I had the pleasure of reading this comic and Issue 2 yesterday (and by yesterday, I mean the day I started drafting this post) after I returned from the mall. Honestly, I was expecting them to arrive later. Literally, as I drove out, I noticed a flat package on my front porch, backed up, pulled back into my driveway, and kept them in the car until I got home. I was excited to read them and was not disappointed.
There are two variant covers you can buy for each issue and I choose Gurihirus covers because I found them far more appealing. J Bones variations reminded me of the Boom Studios comics.
Each issue has three little stories. Two continue through other issues and one is a small adventure with Jack-Jack.
Anyway, here we go.
An * indicates potential canon information that can be helpful in writing fanfictions.
There are spoilers down below, so if you prefer to read the comics to learn what happens, steer away from here.
Crisis in Mid-Life! Part One
First, I’d like to say that I LOVE Gurihirus art style. By far my favorite and the characters look adorable. 
We begin at a black and white flashback with young Mr. Incredible.
He’s performing the classic ‘hit a mode of water transportation with a champagne bottle’ bit.
It was the nations first ‘Swordfish-Class Nuclear Submarine’ at Munciburg Naval Base*
A piece of scaffolding crumbles and the submarine starts to fall.
Mr. Incredible is able to hold the vessel up until everyone is able to get away, then he is able to place it down without sustaining any damage.
This moment is remembered in history as his “Greatest feat of strength.”* 
Fast forward back to the swinging sixties.
The lady interviewing Mr. Incredible says she was in Kindergarten when that happened.
Mr. Incredible is back to do the same thing basically but to a ‘Sunfish-Class Submarine’
I had to look up ‘sunfish’. Seriously. Here’s what they look like.
Tumblr media
Google it and you’ll find weirder pictures.
When the reporter, Brenda, asks Mr. Incredible if it feels like old times to be back again, he answers, “It’s really about our brave men and women who serve on these submarines.”
Mr. Incredible is about to begin, when the ceremony is interrupted by Bomb Voyage.
Has Bomb Voyage not aged at all or is his makeup covering his wrinkles? He looks the same.
Oh, but he can speak English now. Guess they didn’t want to squeeze subtitles into the bubbles.
He blows up the support of the submarine, and basically, history repeats itself. 
Mr. Incredible catches it. However, he feels outweighed. He is unable to wait for civilians to run so he can put it down. It falls on him.
He’s under there for ten minutes before bff Frozone comes to his rescue.
Bomb Voyage got away. Again.
“Typical of his diabolical escape plans. He knew I’d catch the sub and save those people instead of chasing him. He must also have known this model’s heavier than the last one.”
No one got hurt, which is good.
The submarine captain tells Mr. Incredible the Sunfish-Class Submarines are three tons lighter than the Swordfish.
Reporter Brenda runs back up to Mr. I and goes, “Is your age finally catching up with you?”
Mr. Incredible claims he’s in the prime of his life! 
Frozone is Mr. I’s best bro and gently pulls him away from an uncomfortable interview by claiming there could have been other reasons why he couldn’t hold the submarine up.
He also tells his bro, “They’ll forget about this in a few days.”
Low and behold, guess what makes the front page of Munciburg Herald.
‘Is It Time For Mr. Incredible To Hang Up The Tights?’
Supers were just made legal again and poor Mr. Incredibles power may be declining.
Bob and Helen are at the Nation Supers Agency Medical Center.
Apparently, the NSA has a clinic/hospital for superheroes only, as I had believed they did.*
And Bob and Helen are there in civilian clothes, no masks, so it doesn’t look like they need to suit up to get examined.*
Helen is making him go to make sure he’s not sick. Bob thinks they’re wasting their time.
Doctor tells him he’s in good health.
“See Helen?”
“You’re aging though.” says the doctor. “You can’t expect to do everything you could in your prime.”
“But I’m in my prime right now!”
Helen is just like
Tumblr media
The doctor tells Bob he’s not in his physical prime.
Bob is like
Tumblr media
Back at home, Helen is trying to reassure him that he’s not all washed up, all while telling Dash not to run around the table, making sure Violet remembers her backpack, Dash remembers his jacket, and telling Jack-Jack diapers don’t go on heads. 
“You don’t need to qui-- VIOLET! YOUR BACKPACK!”
Bob decides to see Rick because he might have dealt with aging superheroes before.
Ricks is back with the NSA, out of retirement. Shortest retirement tbh.*
“I’m not in the best shape either,” he says. “But I’m wiser.”
He shows Bob a framed picture of his son, Rick Junior.
That’s right. Dicker has a son and his name is Rick Junior. He even has his fathers nose.* 
Junior graduated from the Academy (what academy you ask, I don’t know) with Honors.
“I look at him and I know I’ve passed on my knowledge... He’s my legacy and that makes it all worth it.”
Lightbulb goes off in Bobs head as he remembers he’s got three legacies.
Back at the Parr home, Dash is making Violets room messy after she just cleaned it.
Her walls and drawers are white. Her bedsheets are purple. She’s got clothes, books, a bag of chips, and some stuffed animals including a bunny which I bet is named Mr. Skipperdoo. 
Violet traps him in a force field and demands he cleans her room back up.
Pride leader Bob steps in.
Instead of telling Dash to clean up Violets room, he’s like, “You’re doing it all wrong. You want to mess up someone's room so they’ll have to clean it, mess it up like they would.
Uh... what the hell Bob. Dash is gonna start doing that now.
Then Bob advices Violet not to step on clothes when she’s invisible or people can see the indents of her feet.
Violets got Captain America socks. I think she’s low-key a fan.
The kids are all, 
Tumblr media
Downstairs for family bonding time.
“Experience is the difference between a good hero and a great one.”
Basically, he tells the kids he’s gonna start training them and they’re pumped.
Helen is a bit concerned though.
Violet tells her it’s a family bonding experience. Dash adds that she mentioned how important it is to learn to use powers responsibly. 
Helen gives in, thinking in the end that it’s not a super bad idea as long as Bob behaves, but she’s still a little worried.
Bedtime Story Part One
When Jack-Jack shapeshifts after dinner, his tummy gets upset.*
He’s in his demon form jumping on Bobs bed. Bob says he’ll tell him a bedtime story if he behaves.
Jack-Jack becomes a baby again.
Bob goes into Story Mode. “This is the tale of the hero who saved the rest of the heroes.”
Superheroes in the Glory Days had an annual conference called “The Summer Crossover” and it was held at this swanky hotel called the Chez swank Hotel.*
It’s across the Metroville Bridge.
“We’d have seminars on subjects like super/civilian balance, secret hideout feng shui, and escaping the deathtraps in your own mind.”
Secret Hideout Feng Shui
Escaping the Deathtraps of Your Own F****** Mind
That sounds metal af.
So in the panel, I see Psycwave, Blazestone, Macroburst, Dynaguy and Plasmabolt but who is the other guy? He literally looks like a walking shit. Could it be...?
Tumblr media
The main villain of this story is Baron Von Ruthless. We get to see a little of him.
So Big BVR was in a giant robot with lasers that sucked all the powers out of the supers except one. Any guesses who?
No?
Why, none other than Mr. Incredible of course!
Bob mentions here that there’s a super named ‘Junior Sidekick’.
Bob claims he took out the giant robot with one punch.
Dash and Violet barge in, calling bs on their dads claims.
And Bob is like, *gasp*. ‘I’m so offended you think I made this up.’
The kids start pointing out what’s wrong with his story/
Bob goes, ‘Ok, so I left out some parts. You think you can handle the real thing?’
“Could be a scam to trick us into some forced family bonding time...” says Violet, still loaded with sass.
The kids take their place on the bed to listen to dads story.
A Relaxing Day at the Park
This is the Jack-Jack story.
So, as we all know, the Parrs live in a nice house. Unsurprisingly, there’s a nice children's playground nearby.
Bob puts Jack-Jack in the sandbox then sits on the bench to chill.
JJ is playing in the sand and having such fun when he sees an animatronic turtle with a bunch of balloons. There’s a baby about as big as he is, trying to get these balloons but he can’t reach.
So the baby resorts to crying.
Jack-Jack sees the turtle as a bad guy that stole the balloons and decided he must take action!
His laser eyes blow up the turtle and somehow, the balloons don’t float away. JJ gives them to his new pal.
Bob only closed his eyes for a second and Jack-Jack had wandered off.
He sees the blown up turtle and goes, ‘Yikes. We’re not coming back here.’
So those were my notes for Crisis in Mid-Life & Other Stories. I will try to get to the second issue soon. 
41 notes · View notes
extasiswings · 6 years
Note
Hey, just curious because I kinda made a Tumblr late (literally just to actually participate in the Garcy-tags after lurking forever) so I am not sure if you have ever shared your thoughts on the scene where Flynn is telling Wyatt how his family was murdered. I love the lighting/positioning in that scene. Wyatt is shadowed & Flynn is soaked in light. It always felt like foreshadowing to me or at least that it had a deeper symbolism. I love your metas btw, you're a gift to the fandom. :-)
Ack. Well, first of all, thank you, that’s a very sweet thing to say. I came to this show late, watched the whole thing in a few days just in time to watch 1x15 the day after it aired, and I loved it. But being so active in a fandom is a new experience for me and I still have many moments where I’ll be writing meta or fic and feel like “shut up, chapel, no one cares” (although that feeling was much stronger when I first started and it seemed like @qqueenofhades and I were hanging out on this garbage life raft mostly alone, as in there were a grand total of 11 Lucy/Flynn fics on ao3 when I wrote my first after the finale) which is why I haven’t written that much about S1 other than a few of my absolute favorite moments and a handful of scattered character analyses. If people want to read all my many and increasingly emotional thoughts, well, who am I to deny them?
So, your ask. I have not written specifically about The Watergate Tape other than referencing it in other things, but I do have thoughts and (to the surprise of no one) many, many Feelings about the scene in question. I have and will continue to make all the jokes about “This is not how you make friends, Garcia” re: the fact that Flynn decided the perfect time to bond with Wyatt was when he had him tied to a chair after incentivizing Lucy and Rufus by threatening to kill him (and wow, I cannot believe the amount of Garbage in that one sentence, ffs, honey), but it’s a great scene. Both this one (Flynn talking about the murder of his family) and the next (confronting Wyatt about Jessica’s death) are just…honestly, they’re like art. 
It’s interesting because I don’t think Flynn necessarily cares about Wyatt. He’s a mildly irritating obstacle for the most part. But at the same time, where Flynn is so alone and still waiting for Lucy to join him, while also losing faith that she will, it makes sense that he would turn to Wyatt. Because if there’s anyone who should be able to understand exactly where Flynn’s head is right now, it should be Wyatt. A fellow soldier. A fellow grieving widower. 
These two scenes are Flynn holding up a mirror to Wyatt and saying “Look, we’re the same” and he’s not wrong. And that makes Wyatt viscerally uncomfortable. You can see it in his face in between his snarky comments while Flynn’s talking about what happened to his family. He’s listening, but he’s also in his head, trying so hard to maintain his narrow worldview while Flynn’s thoroughly fucking it up. Because if he and Flynn are the same, what does that say? And how can he justify killing a man who is his mirror image? There’s a lot that goes into all of Wyatt’s snark in these scenes, but I would argue a major part of that (and a lot of Wyatt’s snark at Flynn in general) has to do with the discomfort of being forced to confront his own double standards and grey morality. 
Also, fuck me directly the fuck up with everything about Flynn here. Because here’s the thing: I don’t think he’s told that story. Thought about it, sure, but he hasn’t told it. Not even to Lucy. But he tells Wyatt, even though he clearly has his doubts about the authenticity of Wyatt’s “Make me understand.” And I also don’t think Flynn realized how hard it would be. Because when he originally starts, he’s still pretty cocky. He’s still in control of the situation. Laying out the facts of how he found Rittenhouse in the first place, that’s easy. He pretty consistently makes eye contact with Wyatt throughout the beginning…until he doesn’t. Until he starts to get lost in his head. Remembering. 
It’s around “I flagged these transfers to my NSA contact” that he starts to spiral down. His eyes go distant, totally lost in memory. When he gets to the actual night, he gets shaky. His voice breaks, stutters. And then there’s Wyatt’s “You didn’t fight back?” and Flynn’s freeze before he tips his head, and you just know that he’s wondered about that every single day. If there was more he could have done. If maybe he should have stayed and died with them. He speeds up then, rushing through the end of the story because he can’t. He can’t talk about it anymore. “It was all Rittenhouse,” is the point he was trying to make from the beginning and he latches onto that like a lifeline to pull himself out of the depths of his grief before it overwhelms him entirely. And yes, then Flynn does get a little snippy, because he’s raw and vulnerable and Wyatt a) questions all of it with “If any of this were true” and b) implies Flynn’s not doing enough, trying hard enough, etc in “Why don’t you just go back and save your family?” As if it’s that easy. As if that isn’t exactly what he’s been trying to do this entire time. 
I agree with you completely about the composition of these shots. The lighting of the room to begin with is an absolutely stunning choice with all of the shadows, cut through with a few beams of light. It’s always hard to know how much of certain things is intentional, but to me, yes, it absolutely highlights the fact that both of these men are simultaneously light and dark. If they’d wanted to, they could have put Wyatt in a sunbeam and Flynn in shadow, but they didn’t. In fact, Wyatt’s barely lit at all in this scene. Meanwhile, as soon as Flynn starts talking about his family, he’s backlit. Nearly half of his face, his hair. My favorite shot is the “You didn’t fight back?” moment because Wyatt’s in the foreground, filling most of the frame, but clouded in shadow, while Flynn’s in the background with this near-halo of light. It’s incredible. And I do think there’s something to be said about the use of lighting here to, again, highlight the fact that these men are incredibly similar while we’re also getting that implication through the text. At the same time, I think it also highlights the fact that Flynn…is not a bad man. That his actions may be questionable, but his motives are pure. That he’s flawed and broken, but he’s far from evil. That he’s being honest here and we, as an audience, should believe that. 
I’ll stop there because this is getting long (shocker), but yes. This is an incredible episode and scene and it reveals so much about Flynn as a character and is also one of the reasons my need for more Wyatt/Flynn scenes is so great because their parallels are SO INTERESTING and their interactions bring so much out of one another and ack, I just love it all.       
19 notes · View notes
vmfx · 4 years
Text
#1 ANSWER.
It was my first week into my new job that I meet Barney. It didn’t take long for me to realize how much of a low-art asshole he was. One thing they didn’t tell me about being hired to work in this place was to not be myself or have dissenting views.
Only a couple of weeks went by and I started to see how bullish and intrusive Barney was. Ordinary conversations became interrogations. Barney became easily fascinated when he asked me about myself, my point of view, or what my stance was on certain people or subjects. So fascinated that it got annoying real quick. For instance, my co-workers were talking about this since long-forgotten reality show The Jersey Shore. As usual, I could care less about pointless things. I was minding my own business doing my job until I was caught in his crossfire.
“So, tell me. What do you think about Snooki?”
“No thanks.”
“What?You’re kidding me. Tell me you wouldn’t want a piece of Snooki.”
“No.”
“What?! You’re serious!”
“No. I don’t care for her.”
“C’mon! You’re serious, right? Everyone thinks Snooki is hot! You don’t think Snooki is hot?”
“I don’t.”
“So…you’re saying that you don’t find Snooki hot.”
“No.”
“C’mon. What are you? A homo?”
Let’s take the time and run through this. Barney asked me a question and I gave him an answer. Simple as that. He wasn’t happy with my answer because he expected me to say what he wanted to hear. I shattered his expectations. Instead of letting it be, he kept on persisting me for re-assurance because his small implosive mind couldn’t take it. He also assumed to speak for everyone that some non-factor was hot, confusing opinion with fact. When I ultimately refused to give in, he insults me. As the old saying goes, ‘the television is always right’.
Because of this, Barney the One-Trick Pony™ constantly (and falsely) accused me of being gay. He went as far as trying to set me up with one of his lady friends. He even went further in lecturing me on why I needed to be married and why I should carry on the family name.
That was my mistake. I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I leave myself open to this and Barney turns into this Long Island ‘muthuh’ who endlessly criticizes others because they don’t live up to their standards. But he was no normal muthuh, he was a six-foot-three 350-pound 45-year old has-been who lived alone, had no girlfriend, and was very much into queer jokes, six-packs of beer, and phone sex which he openly disclosed to me while I was having lunch.
Perhaps if I criticized Barney on wearing an old, faded, crackling football jersey because they’re pathetic legendary losers who consistently fail to make the playoffs, he would be greatly offended. But I don’t do that to people. Unlike him, I have some sort of respect for others. I also can’t imagine if I called him out on his low-brow world of 1-900 numbers, bathroom stall writing, and online porn; because no one should ever put another person’s manhood in question of someone who watches sports, guns down a twelve pack, and relies on cheap obvious women. God forbid.
**********
Another Sunday, another weekend to disrupt my life and throw away beautiful blue skies, green grass, and white clouds to go to work; to deal with the curious public and an even more curious group of co-workers. When I mean curious, I mean ‘violating my privacy to the point it’s disgusting’ curious.
As usual, anything and everything about everyone working behind the counter is mined, revealed, sensationalized, and talked about for weeks if not months at a time. Whereas cameras are everywhere where I work; their plastic domes, tinted lenses sophistication, and inability to talk have absolutely no effect. But human nature is so cunning and so complex that my co-workers are an even bigger threat. They do everything they can to make other certain co-workers uneasy and destroy whatever sense of boundaries, privacy, space, or etiquette they were supposed to have all for a laugh or two. Our. God. Given. Right.
Elvis, who is best friends with Barney, is one of the most insipid, obnoxious, and mentally bankrupt individuals I have ever met. He always seems to strike up random conversations with me at the worst possible moment, which is usually when I’m working. If it’s not about something I’ve gotten over or experienced days, weeks, or months ago, it’s always the same stale repetitive boring questions. “So, how’s your dad? Is he still staying home? Still watching Maury? Does he go out? What does he eat? Do you guys go out? Where do you go? Do you have fun with your dad?”
Sometimes as I’m having lunch alone in the break room in complete silence, he would sit down with me, uninvited of course, and start asking me those rapid-fire series of pointless questions that are below me because I moved on from that game decades ago. “So what’s in today’s paper? What happened? Anything good? What’s this headline say? Hey, would you fuck Amana Bynes? You wouldn’t? Why not? Are you OK? Why are you feeling annoyed?”
This is pretty much the level of stupidity I endure every day working with Elvis. As if I don’t get enough unwanted unsolicited dumbstruck comments and unneeded questions from customers, I end up having Elvis’s display of genius come to me. It’s very hard to avoid. We’re only a few feet from each other at all times but somehow dumb is so generous where I live that there’s always more to go around and share. It wasn’t until very recently that a red card was pulled right in front of my face that made me dismiss him and write him off totally.
One Friday morning before work, I took Cath- to a salon to go get her cut for her sister Cheree’s graduation in Pennsylvania. My assistant manager Alphonso gave me a very rare Saturday off. It would have been ideal for both Cath- and I to get together for Saturday but it wasn’t possible because that was Cheree’s graduation day. Take one in the loss column. The following busy Sunday at work, Elvis once again pitches for conversation towards me.
“So, uh, how was work yesterday?”
“I didn’t work yesterday. I was off.”
“Oh, really? Off on a Saturday?! How did you end up getting off on a Saturday?”
“I don’t know. Alfonso just scheduled me off for Saturday, I guess?”
“Really?”
“…yeah.”
“So what did you do on your Saturday off?”
“Well, nothing really. I just went to the gym then stayed home for the rest of the day to relax.
“Wow, you went to the gym and that’s it?”
“Yeah, it was miserable out. Then again, all that didn’t matter as my friend was in PA for a graduation.”
“Was your friend a guy or a girl?”
“…it didn’t matter. Nothing really happened that day.”
“Was your friend a guy or a girl?”
“Why are you asking me this again? Why does it matter who I hang out with?”
“Was your friend a guy or a girl?”
I shook my head at Elvis, exhaled, and walked away from him. Next week we will play this game again, but for now I just saved myself from another round on endless embarrassment and unwanted humiliation.
That is why I can no longer talk to people anymore. It mattered so much to this fucking stumble. Elvis was looking to once again take something personal of mine and turn it into a front-page headline for the entire department to throw around, make fun of, and blow up as the workplace news story of the week. Because we’re so needy for excitement and self-gratification that we have to know every little thing that goes on in other people’s personal lives, in this case for my co-workers to use it against me.
This seriously took off on me. Our own mini-NSA-in-training Elvis was really that fascinated as to what gender my friend was. That meant so much to him. He really wanted to get off on the fact that I spent time with a female since the only things that take up real estate in his mind are getting plastered on weekends and “hot girls”, according to him. OK, so what else does he want to know? Did I sleep with her last night? What was she wearing? Was she a Ginger or an Asian? What positions did we do? How long did it last? What exact words did she scream out? Was it good? And did I kiss her goodnight, make her breakfast, or just get dressed and run out of her house? Do I get $100 for every correct answer?
How would Elvis like it if I would stop his world every five minutes to ask about his everyday mundane life of nothing? Would he appreciate it if I would distract him endlessly with pointless questions and ‘yes’ and ‘no’ answers? Would it annoy him to no end if I intruded into his personal life only to ridicule it along with all of the other co-workers around? Should I ask him about the photos his friends took when they drew cocks on his head while he was plastered drunk at a party? Or when was the last time he touched a girl or when had any female gave him eye contact? I wouldn’t think so, either.
**********
Questions. I gave up on them. I no longer have the time, care, or patience to tend or answer them anymore. I don’t deserve to stand in one place with my life being put under a microscope as undeserving people around me are dying to know a lot of things about me that will never pertain or affect them.
I mind my own business doing what I need to do for the day. I only focus on the bigger, more important things at stake. They stand there and start asking me questions about my personal life as it is so special or urgent. It’s not, really. It’s just a little different than others. What could I tell them? They feel unusual enough to stop at every answer and act like they’re so surprised. Really, what is such a big deal about the mundane things in my life that catch them off-guard? Obviously they’re un-accepting and shallow-minded, the blinders they wear have not been widened.
I had gotten tiresome of their interview sessions. I stay away and I do, but only for a while. I have been told to ignore them, to not answer them. I do take the advice but these downturns push harder. They ask and ask and ask and persist to no end until I give up and hopelessly answer because I know they will never stop if I don’t. Somehow my answers complicate things even more for them so the hits just keep on going. It’s a lose-lose situation.
The difference between me and them is that I understand and they don’t. I respect people for who they are because I understand. I have it all figured out so I don’t need to ask any further. Barney and Elvis’s child-like fascination with my life want me to “get with the program” because they don’t get it the first time. Conversations aren’t worth having with certain masturbatory people when they clutch and pull themselves over the answers they are given.
I’m not a celebrity and I never asked to be one. I never asked for them to make me special. I never asked for a circus surrounding my life and I never asked to be put on the hot seat. I don’t need them questioning every move I make in my life when there are better things during the day I need to focus on. I don’t have to answer to anyone if I don’t want to. I don’t need to pay attention to the feeble-minded and uneducated to constantly disrupt my day and waste my time. I have way more important things to worry about other than to satisfy simple minds who can’t figure it out and worry about things that have nothing to do with them. They truly don’t deserve the attention, therefore they will be forgotten about.
1 note · View note
Text
Chapter 1
I have some ideas about the Future, post-pandemic, which keep me up at night. They have to do with biological warfare for population control, nano-RFID’s implanted into critical mass via a vaccine, and Morpheus coming to a brain near you via 5G. Are you ready to go down the rabbit hole? 
Welcome to my next mind dump - Chapter 1. Back in 2010 when I hacked the Musion Holographic Stage and teleported Second Life Avatars to the real world (they appeared on-stage as life-size holograms), I was already being contacted by certain people sending me their research papers and asking for my insights.
Let’s just say that prior to going to SU at NASA, I had read a paper published in 2009 that had to do with RFID human implants. Why was I into researching this technology? Well, my friend “F” confessed to me that he had been “chipped”. He showed me the place on the upper part of his arm and asked me to “feel it”. I pressed my fingers down on his skin and could feel something hard, then I traced the rectangular outline of the chip by feeling around it, eventually using my thumb and pointer finger to grab it and move it from side to side. 
Needless to say, I was shocked but not surprised. Prior to my friend getting chipped, he had a completely different personality. I should know, we used to hang out all of the time. Then he left to Florida to work on a project with a Doctor who then convinced him to get chipped, and when he came back he was a different person. How so, you ask? In two instances during road trips and with different groups of friends, “F” would wake up in the middle of night in trance, speaking some weird language that no one recognized, and would then jump up and look at us, but did not see us. It was almost as if he was looking through us. He did not respond to our questions either, but was fully awake with eyes wide open. He would then would run to the window and look out in a paranoid manner saying out loud that aliens were coming! Imagine having to explain that to him the next morning when he had no recollection of what happened. I red pilled on the subject trying to understand how someone could have changed so much. Other friends noticed it too and there was no explanation outside of the breadcrumbs “F” would drop on me in his few moments of clarity. He asked me to research the future RFID chips, not the ones the size of a grain of sand, but the Nano chips that could travel to the brain. 
A few conversations later with some military and Raytheon types who admired my avatar and holography work (one said it was “cute” that I made art with a laser they used as a weapon in his industry),  a research paper made its way into my inbox that shed some light on what was to come. In a nutshell, a certain lab managed to successfully implant mice and achieve behavior modification through hacking the implant.
Fast forward to SU at NASA in 2011. The head of the security team took a special interest in me and began to share case scenarios for me to “review” in my free time. They had to do with future crimes in the virtual world, “aka” cybercrimes that involved real money laundering using multiplayer virtual worlds and virtual currencies. The cherry on top of the cake was reviewing the case scenario for a virtual pandemic that could potentially spread from the virtual world into RFID human implants. Coincidence? 
At one point I was offered a job in D.C. if I decided to stay with the Security team. I did not, mostly because after a conversation with my buddy, who then worked with the NSA, I was told to be careful because the people I would be researching were “people who could track me down and do something bad to my family”. Maybe if I had been single, with no family and a recluse...alas, that was not my path.
What did stay on my mind and continues to bake my noodle is the question of how to microchip critical mass? It’s not like millions of people would want to WILLINGLY be chipped, for many reasons ranging from religious beliefs (the mark of the beast), to privacy issues (not everyone wants to be tracked 24/7), to potential security issues pertaining to chips being hacked. As it is now, people with heart implants are at risk because their monitors can be hacked. If someone wants you dead, and you have an implant, it is NOT GOOD.
So let me ask you, in a pandemic scenario, would millions of people run to get vaccinated? If implants were included in the vaccine and there absolutely had to be a disclosure about that, would ID2020 (microchips for a cashless society) be a factor in pushing legislation to make implants mandatory?
I do not agree with all views expressed in this video, but after what I experienced and just wrote about, the following does make you think...more so because it was published only 3 days ago! To put it into perspective, the story above took place 11 years ago.
https://youtu.be/QRYByDGaur8
Again, this is a mind dump. I don’t have time to spell check or edit, so spare me the comments on that. 
Coming for Chapter 2 is the story of the eye implants that enter the body through the mucus membranes of your eyes and my eye incident at NASA. Stay tuned!
youtube
0 notes
wehaveallgotknives · 7 years
Text
american gods credits breakdown/analysis
bc why not? full of weird speculation about the intentions of the creators, but basically they mash up a lot of the things that made/make america what it is - both what it’s proud of and what it’s not.
warning: this has like 30 images. i am not an american, or a god.
buckle up, comrades, and feel free to argue.
Tumblr media
so we open on a root system - we got yggdrasil world tree vibes but as we all know, america is home to some of the oldest/largest trees/forests in the world - i read the redwood forests can communicate through their root systems
Tumblr media
but you pull up to the tree and it looks dead - fruitless, barren, unable to support life (very possibly a hanging tree, which is obviously relevant)
but
Tumblr media
that’s fine because it flickers into fibre optics! which will never die! rather than light being turned into energy for us to eat like with plants, light is turned into information to keep us plugged in!
Tumblr media
and we come up on our first actual figure: a slain medusa, her snake hair electrical connections. remember that medusa was killed by hero pegasus and the disembodied head was used by athena, goddess of war/wisdom as a shield decoration. the symbolism of the medusa head is a sign to ward off evil. she flickers blue and green - serpentine yet inorganic. (freud, unsurprisingly, had a whole thing about decapitation=castration and medusa being the mother you wanted to fuck and kill and were afraid of - a man looks on her and stiffens! i only mention it because it might link to the next imagery.)
Tumblr media
pull up on a statue of some sexy ladies - faceless, touching each other the way women in pornos do - no man in sight, no pubic hair in sight, a pose clearly designed for the voyeur, not the woman’s pleasure, women to be looked at - particularly to be looked at through a lens.
Tumblr media
BUT THESE WOMEN LOOK BACK!!! all of them have a single cyclopean camera eye in their foreheads. the surveillance state and the pornography industry: two great tastes that taste great together. we are all voyeurs! the nsa can watch you masturbate and cry through your laptop camera!
Tumblr media
cut to: a menorah! they used a hannukah menorah instead of a temple menorah? is that significant? but it’s all midi cables and that - i can’t work out what the reference here is? maybe there’s a thing about the lamp no longer serving as a lamp? someone who knows more than me about judaism and/or midi cables please chime in.
the fucking co-exist wallpaper up there does my head in too - judaism, christianity and islam are all of an abrahamic lineage, so i get putting them together - but they’ve just chucked in the yin yang symbol? is it meant to stand in for buddhism, and this is like the big four major players? i always associated it with taoism? i mean this whole frame might just be dumb! 
Tumblr media
here’s a another suggestion of a pretty lady though!!! she’s like bernini’s veiled sculptures
Tumblr media
which are marble (i kno right?) and are mostly one of the marys from the bible. but this one’s draped in circuitry that resembles a map. i’ve decided she’s saint siri.
Tumblr media
laughing buddha! who isn’t the buddha you’re thinking of. fat/laughing buddha is actually budhai, different dude, chinese folk god, said to be a monk all about being content in poverty. i mean, similar enough to the stoic parts of gautama buddha’s philosophy for no white people to really care. but the abundance/contentment available to the poor here in america is DRUGS. i bet some those DRUGS come from ASIA. i bet the people who made these credits weren’t sure which part of asia this laughing buddha is from. i mean, if they were going for a nirvana/ecstacy joke, they kind of got the wrong buddha? but also, almost no one in the west can tell them apart, so. BUT there’s also like one long close up of a pill with a star stamped in it, which might be symbolising china, where budhai is from, BUT i also might be reading too much into it. MOVING ON.
Tumblr media
cut from the joy of drugs to a bullet???
Tumblr media
oh no it’s fine it’s a jet engine! those have definitely never killed anyone!!! certainly not whole cities at once!
Tumblr media
keeping in the pointy/deadly symbology, there’s this sort of centrifuge/hypodermic needle thing that i thought, first time around, was more recreational drugs - but! the centrifuge vibes made me think it was more the medical drug industry? which could be supported by the face that it’s right underneath...
Tumblr media
ganesha! god of science, learning and art! ganesha! many handed and wise! ganesha! shaped like a friend!ganesha, my friend, what’s that you’re holding? traditionally it’s an axe, and something delicious, or some letters which represent intellect, or - 
Tumblr media
oh you’re holding smart phones. the smart phones are scrolling infinitely  - so this could still be an arts/science thing, but i’m assuming it’s a critique and not a celebration of the technology/its infinite uses.
Tumblr media
ok this might be the lamest one, because that is an aibo robot dog, and they aren’t even from america? but he is in front of a pyramid, which might make him anubis. the glowing top is pretty good - there’s a story that the pyramids at giza had, once upon a time, golden capstones that caught and reflected light. if they existed, those capstones were absolutely melted down at some point in one of the wars. but, now the pyramids with the glowing tops are at vegas, where the gold is pre-stolen.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
and we’re back to tits! these ones are attached to some weird robot legs (pistons suggesting horse power, steam engines?) and this fucken face
Tumblr media
which is possible in pain, possibly orgasmic, possibly drowning in oil. she’s in front of this neon machismo
Tumblr media
and her head is poised at his crotch, cool cool cool
but it’s when you pull out you see the extent of this fuckery
Tumblr media
she’s his ride
this one could be a cool comment: the cowboy in neon is clever, because it sort of suggests that he’s an illusion - the myth of the wild west does rest on the back of horses, but also on unnamed women and people of colour, on mechanical industry that gets left out of the stories?
but this is all speculation. it’s a fucked up centaur sculpture.
Tumblr media
we have next an angel - but you can already see that along the wings are automated weapons and on the angel’s head
Tumblr media
night vision goggles.
Tumblr media
like seal team six wore. fuck this might even be a joke about how the cherubim are covered in eyes!
Tumblr media
then we have some muscle cars, a bloke in a vr headset carrying a missile like it’s lunch, as you do. i think this is about production lines and automation - the model t ford, the drive in fast food restaurant and the military industrial complex all use the production line. the vr headset is sort of plugged into this
Tumblr media
confusing, slightly organic carving thing - the cables down the bottom resemble roots or tentacles, and the obelisk shape at the top could be from any temple, from any time, any continent - but as it lights up, it comes together
Tumblr media
it’s the goddamned space program - all the firey gods we send into the sky to look down on us, to carry our prayers.
Tumblr media
but all great religions need sacrifice, as the show will tell us over, and over - and you must sacrifice the best, the most beautiful, the most beloved
Tumblr media
i mean they go out with a bang, don’t they
Tumblr media
and finally, the only piece of remotely indigenous imagery - the bald eagle as the thunderbird, topping the totem pole (looking, at this angle, a little like the chrysler building’s gargoyles, but let’s say thunderbird)
Tumblr media
the whole strange stack of it, under the flickering neon signage that america didn’t invent, but they may as well have, for their widespread and tenacious adoption
which is probably a metaphor!
let me know if you have opinions about any of this?
34 notes · View notes
andreagillmer · 6 years
Text
Bob Moriarty’s Outlook on 2019
Source: Maurice Jackson for Streetwise Reports   12/11/2018
In a wide-ranging conversation, Bob Moriarty of 321 Gold discusses with Maurice Jackson of Proven and Probable geopolitics, economics, Bitcoin, precious metals and more.
Maurice Jackson: Joining us for conversation is Bob Moriarty, the founder of 321 Gold and 321 Energy.com, and also the author of two of my personal favorite books, “The Art of Peace,” and “Nobody Knows Anything.” Mr. Moriarty, welcome to the show, sir.
Bob Moriarty: It’s very good to talk to you today, and it’s very funny because those are two of my favorite books, too.
Maurice: Sir, it’s always an honor to have you on our show. I would like to begin our discussion on your outlook for 2019. What are some topics of interest that we should focus on beginning with the political and economic landscape of the United States?
Bob: You’ve got to separate those, and we can do that, from an economic point of view. The trade war is a total disaster. It can only do damage. It already has done substantial damage. I think the everything bubble has popped, and we could see some real fireworks in 2019! The stock market has either topped or will top soon. Gold and silver appear to be bottoming. Platinum is the lowest relative to gold it has ever been. So, I’m literally buying platinum and I’m buying silver right now. I think that we may have a few more weeks of tax loss silly selling in the gold shares. But, I think that resources look good for next year, and everything else looks bad.
Politically, there’s just no predicting what Trump will do. Every day I get up, I look, I shudder. I’m not sure Trump knows what he’s doing. But, you and I were talking off mic, and one of the things that I said was, everybody needs to own some gold, they need to have some liquid cash, and they need to have a passport. The world is very precarious. Certainly you can see from the riots in France how swiftly things can go bad, and that all has to do with government spending money it doesn’t have and increasing taxes to pay for it.
Now, the problem is, governments across the globe have spent so much money that they can never tax the people enough, and the people are getting very tired of the cost of living go up and taxes going up, and they know the government is at fault, and they’re going to start hanging politicians here, very soon, and 2019 could be a lot worse than 2008 ever dreamed of.
Maurice: Speaking of that, let’s shift the focus here a little bit and talk about it on a global context here. Regarding geopolitics and the world economy, you somewhat reference it here, but what has you concerned the most?
Bob: Trump.
Maurice: Which will suffice in and of itself.
Bob: Trump is not dealing with a full deck, now to the extent that I’m glad he was elected president, because Hillary Clinton was far worse. But, Donald Trump is not dealing with a full deck. We have a coup d’état in progress. It’s been going on for several years where the FBI, and the DOJ, and the CIA, and the NSA are all trying to over throw Trump, and that’s a very bad thing. That’s not a good thing. It’s a bad thing. Have you ever been in a riot?
Maurice: No, sir, I have not.
Bob: Well, for 20 years, I flew small airplanes all over the world, and there were a couple of times that I got caught up in riots because things just started getting crazy. I was in Pakistan, and the locals decided they would start breaking up all the places that sold liquor, and when a mob forms, you see people at that very worst. When the banks close, when people can no longer cash checks, when their plastic money doesn’t work, Americans are three meals away from chaos, and it’s going to be bad, and I’m serious as a heart attack. Everybody should have a plan for getting out of dodge.
Maurice: And again, that plan is for our audience, a passport, physical precious metals, and some cash. And with regards to cash, would it be in a particular currency?
Bob: Whatever the local currency is. If you’re Canadian, you need Canadian dollars, and if you’re American, you need American dollars. Here’s the flaw. If the banks close, and the U.S. dollar goes to zero, you still need dollars because that’s what people are used to doing trade in. I’m not saying you need dollars because dollars are going to be more valuable. You need dollars because that’s how you conduct trade. I’m quite serious everybody needs a plan B. When everything goes to shit, I’m going to get out of dodge.
Maurice: Moving on to resource companies. Who has your attention now and going forward into 2019?
Bob: Miramont Resources Corp. (MONT:CSE; MRRMF:OTC) is absolutely one. They’ve just received a drill permit. It’s a Quinton Hennigh company. They have two world-class projects in Peru. They will start drilling in January. I expect to start seeing results in February or March. I think they will be world-class results. I think the market will recognize it. The company has gone from 13 cents, 10 days ago, to 26 cents (CAD) now, and that gives a market cap of about CA$13 million. Could they be CA$150 million in six months or a year? Absolutely. They’ve got plenty of money. They’ve got CA$6 million in the bank, so there’s no risk whatsoever with them going out, doing a big financing; and I expect to see solid, good results in the next two to three months.
The second company would be Irving Resources Inc. (IRV:CSE; IRVRF:OTCBB). Same story there. You and I were at Irving. We looked at CA$25,000/ton rock. We looked at the sinter. They will start drilling the sinter in January, and you can expect to see results six weeks, two months later. And, when you drill through $25,000 rock, you get a meter or two, and you’re going to have a stock that’s explosive. Irving was $1.10 a share two weeks ago, and it’s $1.80 right now, and it’s still cheap.
Maurice: How about Novo Resources Corp. (NVO:TSX.V; NSRPF:OTCQX). That’s one of our favorites as well.
Bob: Who?
Maurice: Novo Resources.
Bob: I’ve never heard of them. I’m going to be a little bit cagey here. I mean, that’s a terrible thing for me to say. Novo is, literally, having their AGM as you’re doing this recording, and I don’t want to say anything about Novo, until I hear the results of the AGM. But, I was there a month ago, Nova has an extraordinary future ahead of them, good management, tons of money in the bank. Quinton Hennigh is an absolute genius. Everybody hates the stock now, and how many times do I need to say, “You need to buy things when everybody hates them, and you need to sell them when everybody loves them.” And, you got all these people at the chat boards whining and crying, “Oh my God, Novo’s at a new low,” and I’m thinking, “Why did they not see that as an opportunity?”
Platinum hit $790 an ounce today. Why would you whine about that? That’s an opportunity. My God, it hasn’t been $790 an ounce in many, many years. It is so cheap. Buy stuff when it’s cheap, sell it when it’s expensive. It is not complicated.
Maurice: You’ll learn that in a book written by Bob Moriarty entitled “Nobody Knows Anything.” Bob, we’ll get to that in just a second. Before we leave here, full disclosure, Miramont Resources, Irving Resources, and Novo Resources, all three are sponsors of both 321 Gold and Proven and Probable, and by the way, unbeknownst to you, Bob, I will be interviewing Bill Pincus, CEO for Miramont Resources, this coming Friday.
Bob: Good. That’s going to be a must listen to. I talked to him a few days ago. I was nibbling at the shares at 13 and 14 cents, and, obviously, word was getting out because the stock, literally, has doubled in 10 days. They have a brilliant future ahead of them. Peru can be a difficult country to deal with. Bill Pincus has it totally under control. They should have been drilling six months ago, and they didn’t, and it’s no big deal, and they will be drilling shortly.
Maurice: Moving on to physical precious metals. You wrote a piece, recently, which is a must read, entitled “These 113 Analyst Believe Gold Will Go Parabolic to Three Thousand or More.” What compelled you to write this piece, and why now?
Bob: Well, here’s what’s very funny. I didn’t write the piece. The piece came out in 2011, okay. Now, I had been contacted in 2011, and the woman who wrote the piece wanted to know my prediction for gold, and I said, “Well, I’ll be happy to give you a prediction for gold.” “Tell me what the dollars going to be.” And she said, “Well, I have no idea what it’s going to be.” And I said, “Well, how can I tell you what gold’s going to be if you can’t tell me what the dollar’s going to be, because gold is the inverse of the dollar now.” We forget this, and we shouldn’t because it’s so basic. Anytime you’re talking about the price of any commodity, you’re talking about the commodity, and you’re talking about the currency it’s quoted in. Now, the funny thing is, gold had been up 12 years in a row, and everybody in the industry wanted to come out with an outrageous price.
Do you happen to know what the price of copper is today?
Maurice: $2.85 per pound.
Bob: From a mathematical point of view, if you wanted to predict the price of copper six months from now, from a mathematical point of view, what price should you predict? Because everything has to do with probability and permutations. If you know the price of copper, it’s $2.85 today, and you want to predict the price from six months from now, mathematically speaking, ignore your opinion, what price should you predict? $2.85.
Maurice: And that being because?
Bob: Everything goes up. We know that. And, everything goes down. And that fact of the matter is, all prices wobble up and down, and we forget that because we think, “I really like gold. I really like silver. I really like platinum. Therefore, it should go up every single day.” Well, markets don’t work that way. “Well, if it doesn’t go up every single day, it’s proof somebody’s manipulating it.” Well, actually, everything’s manipulated, so it’s not proof of anything.
What we forget that all of this variation in price has nothing to do with the commodity, and everything to do with the value of the dollar.When you include inflation, the value of the dollar changes every single day. Between noon today and noon tomorrow, the value of the U.S. dollar will change 10,000 times. Now, that’s actually insane from an economist point of view. If you’re a Martian and you came to earth and you found out the currency changed its value 10,000 times in a day, the Martian would say, “You know, you guys are all nuts down here,” and he would be correct.
But, in 2011 everybody watched gold go up 12 years in a row, so they thought, “well, mathematically, if it’s gone up 12 years in a row, that means it’s going to go up another 12 years in a row.” And they forgot things go up and things go down. It’s very funny because you look at those predictions seven years later, and we’ve got $1,200 and something gold, and you realize that people were being silly in their predictions. There are no experts, and there are no gurus, period.
Maurice: But, Bob, there is a way to navigate and make the value proposition, actually, work better for you, and I want to ask you this here. So, regarding physical precious metals, can you share with us, and you already have, but tell us why? What are you buying right now? You’re not buying gold.
Bob: No, as a matter of fact I sold gold here recently. This goes back to my basic thesis, and it’s the heart of the book, and it’s very important to understand. You buy things when they’re cheap and you sell them when they’re expensive. The ratio of silver and gold has varied from about 16:1, to 101:1 over the last hundred years. For 50 of those years, the price of gold was fixed. And for 50 of those years, the price gold and silver was variable. So, that should give you a good idea of the range. Now, the average over the last 100 years been 54:1; silver has gotten very cheap, else it has, literally in the last week where it was 86:1, and you go back to 2011, it got down to about 32:1 where silver was very expensive.
Everybody makes investing way too complicated because the first mistake they make is they listen to people who feed their fantasies. Okay. Would you vote for an honest politician?
Maurice: My answer is, I would.
Bob: If you voted for an honest politician, how many votes would he get in total?
Maurice: It sounds like probably would just be myself.
Bob: That’s correct, one vote. Politicians, television preachers and most financial analyst make their money, get their power, by feeding people’s fantasies. They tell people what they want to hear, and you’re always comfortable. If you got a certain belief set, if you believe that Catholics are horrible people, you want to go into a Baptist Church and listen to them talk about Catholics. If you think Muslims are horrible people, you want to go into a Catholic church and hear them talk about Muslims. We have prejudices. We have biases, and we listen to those people who feed those biases. I listen to TV preachers, and I’m sitting here thinking, how the hell could anybody listen to that unadulterated horse shit and send their money to these fools. But, the fools are the people in the audience throwing hundred dollar bills at people for telling what they want to hear.
And when you look at the state of politics in the United States, my God, it’s embarrassing. I mean, I can tell you because I spend a lot of time outside the United States, the rest of the world’s looking at the American political system saying, “You know, those people have gone off the deep end. They’re all crazy,” and they would be right.
Maurice: You know, what’s very important for our audience to understand here, is again, you didn’t say that silver is going to a certain numerical value. You just looked at the ratios between that and gold. Completely different perspective. I can share prior to me entering the public domain, I would listen to someone that would feed my paradigm, but silver is being manipulated, at the time, this is me 10 years ago entering the precious metals industry, and that silver’s going to hit this parabolic number of $150 to $200 any day now because of the Federal Reserve. And, that was my reasoning for purchasing physical silver, and then, I had the opportunity to be introduced to the likes of your work, and I shifted that paradigm, and took a more responsible approach, and I appreciate you so much sharing that. It’s a lesson that we all can learn from, and again, to learn more about lessons like that, the book that you’re referring to is “Nobody Know Anything.”
Bob: But, it’s as simple as you should buy what’s cheap, and you should sell what’s dear. Right now, silver’s cheap, gold’s expensive. Now, I’m not predicting $50,0000 silver. I’m not predicting $200 gold. I’m not predicting anything. I’m taking facts. The ratio has been 16:1, to 101:1, over 100 years. That should be the parameters. The average has been 54:1. Silver has spent less than 1% of the time over the last 100 years above 86:1. All investing is based on mathematics at its heart. A mathematical point of view, the chances that you’re profiting by buying silver and selling gold is 99%, and those are good odds.
Now, do I give a damn if silver goes down tomorrow? No. Okay. Same thing with platinum. My God, platinum’s the cheapest relative to gold it’s ever been in history. Yesterday, it was $460 an ounce cheaper than gold, yet for most of history since it was discovered in the 18th century, platinum’s had a premium to gold. So, buy platinum and sit.
Maurice: That’s exactly what we’re doing. We’re purchasing, very aggressively, both of those metals. May I ask you this as well? When you’re looking at buying your silver, are you looking at 100 ounce bars? Do you like government minted coins? Do you like rounds, junk silver? Tell us what you’re buying.
Bob: It’s funny you say that. I am cheap. Okay. Silver is silver is silver, and somebody contacted me and he had a good deal on 100 ounce bars. So, I bought 100 ounce bars. But, I would buy whatever is cheap. It’s all the same silver.
Maurice: Much agreed. I know some people have a certain perspective on getting government minted coins versus rounds, which are private minted coins, and I didn’t know if you had a particular interest in either one of those two.
Bob: It’s probably a good idea to have a variation. You can buy a tank of gas with a one ounce silver coin, but you can’t buy a tank of gas with a 100 ounce silver bar.
Maurice: True indeed. Bob, let’s shift our focus a little bit on something you and I both like to discuss as well, and let’s compare precious metals now with a different type of coin, bitcoin.
Bob: No. No. No. No. No. You mispronounced that word.
Maurice: I certainly did. Please share with the audience. What is the appropriate name for this.
Bob: Bitcon.
Maurice: And how rare is Bitcon, by the way.
Bob: How rare is salt water in the ocean.
Maurice: Well, I would say there’s a number of variations. Could you share with us, how many variations are there of Bitcon?
Bob: 2,513, roughly.
Maurice: And, isn’t that part of one of the big marketing aspects of Bitcon is that it’s supposed to be rare?
Bob: That’s not rare. You can’t have 2,513 variations and be considered rare.
Maurice: A year ago we had you on our show, and I believe at that time, we were looking at a $13,000 to $14,000 in U.S. currency on Bitcon, and today, we’re looking at $3,400. Is that correct? And, your analysis at that time, it was going to go its intrinsic value of zero. So, it appears to be heading that direction.
Bob: Allow me to ask you a question, because actually, we’re lower than $3,400 right now. If people would take the knowledge that they have, and their common sense, and some logic, they wouldn’t need to listen to experts. They wouldn’t need to listen to gurus. What is the value of a 99 cent stuffed toy?
Maurice: At the current market price, then it would be 99 cents.
Bob: Okay. What is the value of a Beanie Baby?
Maurice: Assuming that is the same toy that you’re referring to, then I would say 99 cents.
Bob: Everything, eventually, returns to its real value. Beanie Babies were going for thousands of dollars because, supposedly, they were rare, and it was this everybody wanted to jump in and everybody wanted to collect, and they thought they were valuable because they were rare. They were 99 cent stuffed toys.
Bob’s Wife: And we collected them.
Bob: That’s my wife and Mr. Brown.
Bob’s Wife: We got to them.
Maurice: And, introducing into the conversation, Bob, who do you have there with you?
Bob: Oh, that’s my wife, Mr. Brown, her pet stuffed sheep.
Maurice: And, Mr. Brown, is he valued at 99 cents as well?
Bob: No. He’s valued a lot higher than that. If my wife had the choice to get rid of me or get rid of Mr. Brown, it’s like no choice at all. Let’s go back to Bitcon and Beanie Babies. Which of those have value?
Maurice: Assuming for a child, they have some type of intrinsic value, but to someone purchasing it, I guess the current market price.
Bob: Well, no. Current market price could be absolutely incorrect.
Maurice: That’s correct because the value at one time was significantly higher.
Bob: Correct.
Maurice: Bob, you make a good point there.
Bob: The strange thing is, when Beanie Babies were selling for thousands of dollars, it was because they were mispriced because everybody was chasing the fear of missing out. You’ve must have Beanie Babies was the narrative at the time. The key here is, at the very worst, Beanie Babies still are 79 cent, or 89 cent, or 99 cent toys. So, let’s take that over to Bitcon and the 2,513 variations. What real value did they have? What intrinsic value is there there?
Maurice: I don’t see one.
Bob: Well, yeah. I see one. I know exactly what the real value is.
Maurice: And what is that?
Bob: You can too if you think about it.
Maurice: Alright, please share with us, sir.
Bob: Zero.
Maurice: That was my point.
Bob: You said you didn’t see it.
Maurice: My apologies, I was inferring, zero.
Bob: I went through and I re-read some of what I was saying last December. I did conducted a number of interviews because I was totally convinced Bitcon was at the top. I sought every measure that you would use to call the top of a bubble in December, but there were only 1,300 or 1,400 variations of Bitcon a year ago. That’s almost doubled, yet the price of Bitcon has gone from $20,000 to $3,400. Bitcon gone down over 80%, but is there anything preventing it from going to zero? Actually, the only thing preventing it is the number of fools in the world who still believe there is some value there.
There is no value there. There is nothing now. There was nothing a year ago, and there’s going to be nothing 10 years from now. Bitcon doesn’t have the value of a Beanie Baby, and this electronic Beanie Baby made of bits and bytes of no particular value, and the mere fact that it’s the biggest bubble in world history, okay, should tell you something. But, over $700 billion disappeared into Bitcon heaven.
Maurice: It’s important to note, as you were speaking here, I’m thinking, Bitcon, and a con artist tries to emulate and fool. When I look at every image I ever see of Bitcon, they make it look like a gold coin.
Bob: They make it look like a coin and the funny thing is, there weren’t any coins. There wasn’t anything.
Maurice: Absolutely. And, then they also use mining terms, like you’re mining bitcoin. That’s what imposter does. An imposter, as we’re referencing it appropriately here, Bitcon, the name fits very well.
Bob: But, here’s what really funny. There were two arguments. One is, that it’s some kind of electronic money, which it’s not. And the other is that it’s rare, and it’s certainly not rare, not with 2,513 variations of it. People are starting to wake up. But, it has been fraud from the get go. It was a bubble. The current bubble right now is marijuana. And, I’ll go you one better, and you’re going to have to guess at the answer here. What’s going to be the big bubble in 2019, or 2020, and 2021?
Maurice: Big bubble. You’re putting me on the spot here.
Bob: Damn straight I am.
Maurice: Let me ask you this then. Are we referring to a natural resource here, by chance?
Bob: Yep.
Maurice: For some reason, my initial instinct is saying lithium.
Bob: It’s already been on the bubble.
Maurice: Alright. If not lithium…
Bob: This new bubble is absolutely the equivalent of Bitcon and marijuana. We’re going to have a bubble that’s just going to go sky high. Everybody’s going to jump into, everybody’s going to think it’s the greatest thing in the world, and everybody’s going to buy it, and they’re going to drive the price up right to the root. What is it?
Maurice: Then, if it’s not lithium, then how about vanadium?
Bob: How about gold?
Maurice: Gold. Interesting. I was thinking more of on the base metals side here. Okay.
Bob: Here’s what’s crazy. Can you name a commodity that is incapable of going in a bubble?
Maurice: No, sir.
Bob: We’ve had stock market bubbles. We’ve had real estate market bubbles. We’ve had Bitcon bubbles. We’ve had marijuana bubbles. We had a silver bubble in 1980. Gold is going to have a bubble. Period. But, the purpose for me writing the book “Nobody Knows Anything” was to allow people to learn that they’re capable of thinking for themselves. There is going to come a time when gold’s expensive, silver’s expensive, platinum’s expensive, palladium’s expensive, rhodium’s expensive, and what do you do when they all get expensive?
Maurice: You should sell.
Bob: You better sell.
Maurice: Bob, as always, thank you for sharing your insights. Last question. What did I forget to ask?
Bob: You forgot to ask me about the book, “How to Invest In Natural Resource Companies.”
Maurice: Absolutely. What can you share with us?
Bob: What book?
Wife: What book?
Maurice: The book on “How to Invest In Natural Resource Companies.”
Bob: I think that’s a great idea. I think somebody really needs to dig in, get to work and start writing the book.
Maurice: Can you give us an update on that person who might be writing that book?
Bob: You’re coming in really broken. I’m having a hard time hearing you.
Maurice: Bob, you’ve got fill us in here. You’ve shared with us over a year ago that you’ll be writing a book, and a number of speculators have been waiting.
Bob: I can see your lips move, but I can’t hear anything you’re saying.
Maurice: For audience members, he’s pulling my leg here, and pulling your leg as well.
Bob: I have all the intentions in the world. I’ve started the book. I will do it.
Maurice: And you want to leave it at that? How about for 2019? Is that on the outlook there? Is that something on the horizon that. . .
Bob: Yeah. Yeah. 2019’s good. It give me a lot of time to come up with new excuses.
Maurice: Okay. Well, before we leave here, I reference Bob Moriarty’s two books, “The Art of Peace,” and “Nobody Knows Anything.” You can order your copy under our education tab. Proven and Probable does not receive any financial for selling or advertising. But, we see these books as a must have for your library. We’ve benefited financially from applying the axioms in the book. Bob, for someone listening who wants to get more information on your work, please share the websites.
Bob: 321 Gold, and 321 Energy. They’re free sites, and they are valuable.
Maurice: And, if you’re looking to sell or buy physical precious metals, we welcome a conversation. Please email me at [email protected] or call me directly at 919-274-5680. And last but not least, please visit our website http://www.provenandprobable.com where we interview the most respected names in the natural resource space. If you would like to have a discussion regarding precious metals, please contact us at [email protected].
Bob Moriarty of 321 Gold, and 321Energy.com, thank you for joining us today on Proven and Probable.
Speaker 4: Thank you for joining us today on Proven and Probable. Remember to like and subscribe for more conversations with the most respected names in the natural resource space. Check out our website at https://ift.tt/2cu8Q6B. The information presented on Proven and Probable is provided for educational and informational purposes only without any expressed or implied warranty of any kind, including warranties of accuracy, completeness, or fitness for any particular purpose. The information is not intended to be and does not constitute financial, investment, or trading advice, or any other advice. You should not make any financial, investment, or trading decision based on any of the information presented without first undertaking independent due diligence and consultation with a professional broker of competent financial advisor.
Bob and Barb Moriarty brought 321gold.com to the Internet almost 16 years ago. They later added 321energy.com to cover oil, natural gas, gasoline, coal, solar, wind and nuclear energy. Both sites feature articles, editorial opinions, pricing figures and updates on current events affecting both sectors. Previously, Moriarty was a Marine F-4B and O-1 pilot with more than 832 missions in Vietnam. He holds 14 international aviation records.
Maurice Jackson is the founder of Proven and Probable, a site that aims to enrich its subscribers through education in precious metals and junior mining companies that will enrich the world.
Sign up for our FREE newsletter at: www.streetwisereports.com/get-news
Disclosure: 1) Bob Moriarty: I, or members of my immediate household or family, own shares of the following companies mentioned in this article: Miramont Resources, Irving Resources and Novo Resources. I personally am, or members of my immediate household or family are, paid by the following companies mentioned in this article: None. My company has a financial relationship with the following companies mentioned in this article: Miramont Resources, Irving Resources and Novo Resources are sponsors of 321 Gold and/or 321 Energy. 2) Maurice Jackson: I, or members of my immediate household or family, own shares of the following companies mentioned in this article: Irving Resources and Novo Resources. I personally am, or members of my immediate household or family are, paid by the following companies mentioned in this article: None. My company has a financial relationship with the following companies mentioned in this article: Miramont Resources, Irving Resources and Novo Resources are sponsors of Proven and Probable. Proven and Probable disclosures are listed below. 3) The following companies mentioned in this article are billboard sponsors of Streetwise Reports: None. Click here for important disclosures about sponsor fees. 4) Statements and opinions expressed are the opinions of the author and not of Streetwise Reports or its officers. The author is wholly responsible for the validity of the statements. The author was not paid by Streetwise Reports for this article. Streetwise Reports was not paid by the author to publish or syndicate this article. The information provided above is for informational purposes only and is not a recommendation to buy or sell any security. Streetwise Reports requires contributing authors to disclose any shareholdings in, or economic relationships with, companies that they write about. Streetwise Reports relies upon the authors to accurately provide this information and Streetwise Reports has no means of verifying its accuracy. 5) This article does not constitute investment advice. Each reader is encouraged to consult with his or her individual financial professional and any action a reader takes as a result of information presented here is his or her own responsibility. By opening this page, each reader accepts and agrees to Streetwise Reports’ terms of use and full legal disclaimer. This article is not a solicitation for investment. Streetwise Reports does not render general or specific investment advice and the information on Streetwise Reports should not be considered a recommendation to buy or sell any security. Streetwise Reports does not endorse or recommend the business, products, services or securities of any company mentioned on Streetwise Reports. 6) From time to time, Streetwise Reports LLC and its directors, officers, employees or members of their families, as well as persons interviewed for articles and interviews on the site, may have a long or short position in securities mentioned. Directors, officers, employees or members of their immediate families are prohibited from making purchases and/or sales of those securities in the open market or otherwise from the time of the interview or the decision to write an article until three business days after the publication of the interview or article. The foregoing prohibition does not apply to articles that in substance only restate previously published company releases.
Proven and Probable LLC receives financial compensation from its sponsors. The compensation is used is to fund both sponsor-specific activities and general report activities, website, and general and administrative costs. Sponsor-specific activities may include aggregating content and publishing that content on the Proven and Probable website, creating and maintaining company landing pages, interviewing key management, posting a banner/billboard, and/or issuing press releases. The fees also cover the costs for Proven and Probable to publish sector-specific information on our site, and also to create content by interviewing experts in the sector. Monthly sponsorship fees range from $1,000 to $4,000 per month. Proven and Probable LLC does accept stock for payment of sponsorship fees. Sponsor pages may be considered advertising for the purposes of 18 U.S.C. 1734.
The Information presented in Proven and Probable is provided for educational and informational purposes only, without any express or implied warranty of any kind, including warranties of accuracy, completeness, or fitness for any particular purpose. The Information contained in or provided from or through this forum is not intended to be and does not constitute financial advice, investment advice, trading advice or any other advice. The Information on this forum and provided from or through this forum is general in nature and is not specific to you the User or anyone else. You should not make any decision, financial, investments, trading or otherwise, based on any of the information presented on this forum without undertaking independent due diligence and consultation with a professional broker or competent financial advisor. You understand that you are using any and all Information available on or through this forum at your own risk.
( Companies Mentioned: IRV:CSE; IRVRF:OTCBB, MONT:CSE, NVO:TSX.V; NSRPF:OTCQX, )
from The Gold Report – Streetwise Exclusive Articles Full Text https://ift.tt/2EsRvKz
from WordPress https://ift.tt/2BiJvaS
0 notes
goldcoins0 · 6 years
Text
Bob Moriarty's Outlook on 2019
Source: Maurice Jackson for Streetwise Reports   12/11/2018
In a wide-ranging conversation, Bob Moriarty of 321 Gold discusses with Maurice Jackson of Proven and Probable geopolitics, economics, Bitcoin, precious metals and more.
Maurice Jackson: Joining us for conversation is Bob Moriarty, the founder of 321 Gold and 321 Energy.com, and also the author of two of my personal favorite books, "The Art of Peace," and "Nobody Knows Anything." Mr. Moriarty, welcome to the show, sir.
Bob Moriarty: It's very good to talk to you today, and it's very funny because those are two of my favorite books, too.
Maurice: Sir, it's always an honor to have you on our show. I would like to begin our discussion on your outlook for 2019. What are some topics of interest that we should focus on beginning with the political and economic landscape of the United States?
Bob: You've got to separate those, and we can do that, from an economic point of view. The trade war is a total disaster. It can only do damage. It already has done substantial damage. I think the everything bubble has popped, and we could see some real fireworks in 2019! The stock market has either topped or will top soon. Gold and silver appear to be bottoming. Platinum is the lowest relative to gold it has ever been. So, I'm literally buying platinum and I'm buying silver right now. I think that we may have a few more weeks of tax loss silly selling in the gold shares. But, I think that resources look good for next year, and everything else looks bad.
Politically, there's just no predicting what Trump will do. Every day I get up, I look, I shudder. I'm not sure Trump knows what he's doing. But, you and I were talking off mic, and one of the things that I said was, everybody needs to own some gold, they need to have some liquid cash, and they need to have a passport. The world is very precarious. Certainly you can see from the riots in France how swiftly things can go bad, and that all has to do with government spending money it doesn't have and increasing taxes to pay for it.
Now, the problem is, governments across the globe have spent so much money that they can never tax the people enough, and the people are getting very tired of the cost of living go up and taxes going up, and they know the government is at fault, and they're going to start hanging politicians here, very soon, and 2019 could be a lot worse than 2008 ever dreamed of.
Maurice: Speaking of that, let's shift the focus here a little bit and talk about it on a global context here. Regarding geopolitics and the world economy, you somewhat reference it here, but what has you concerned the most?
Bob: Trump.
Maurice: Which will suffice in and of itself.
Bob: Trump is not dealing with a full deck, now to the extent that I'm glad he was elected president, because Hillary Clinton was far worse. But, Donald Trump is not dealing with a full deck. We have a coup d'état in progress. It's been going on for several years where the FBI, and the DOJ, and the CIA, and the NSA are all trying to over throw Trump, and that's a very bad thing. That's not a good thing. It's a bad thing. Have you ever been in a riot?
Maurice: No, sir, I have not.
Bob: Well, for 20 years, I flew small airplanes all over the world, and there were a couple of times that I got caught up in riots because things just started getting crazy. I was in Pakistan, and the locals decided they would start breaking up all the places that sold liquor, and when a mob forms, you see people at that very worst. When the banks close, when people can no longer cash checks, when their plastic money doesn't work, Americans are three meals away from chaos, and it's going to be bad, and I'm serious as a heart attack. Everybody should have a plan for getting out of dodge.
Maurice: And again, that plan is for our audience, a passport, physical precious metals, and some cash. And with regards to cash, would it be in a particular currency?
Bob: Whatever the local currency is. If you're Canadian, you need Canadian dollars, and if you're American, you need American dollars. Here's the flaw. If the banks close, and the U.S. dollar goes to zero, you still need dollars because that's what people are used to doing trade in. I'm not saying you need dollars because dollars are going to be more valuable. You need dollars because that's how you conduct trade. I'm quite serious everybody needs a plan B. When everything goes to shit, I'm going to get out of dodge.
Maurice: Moving on to resource companies. Who has your attention now and going forward into 2019?
Bob: Miramont Resources Corp. (MONT:CSE; MRRMF:OTC) is absolutely one. They've just received a drill permit. It's a Quinton Hennigh company. They have two world-class projects in Peru. They will start drilling in January. I expect to start seeing results in February or March. I think they will be world-class results. I think the market will recognize it. The company has gone from 13 cents, 10 days ago, to 26 cents (CAD) now, and that gives a market cap of about CA$13 million. Could they be CA$150 million in six months or a year? Absolutely. They've got plenty of money. They've got CA$6 million in the bank, so there's no risk whatsoever with them going out, doing a big financing; and I expect to see solid, good results in the next two to three months.
The second company would be Irving Resources Inc. (IRV:CSE; IRVRF:OTCBB). Same story there. You and I were at Irving. We looked at CA$25,000/ton rock. We looked at the sinter. They will start drilling the sinter in January, and you can expect to see results six weeks, two months later. And, when you drill through $25,000 rock, you get a meter or two, and you're going to have a stock that's explosive. Irving was $1.10 a share two weeks ago, and it's $1.80 right now, and it's still cheap.
Maurice: How about Novo Resources Corp. (NVO:TSX.V; NSRPF:OTCQX). That's one of our favorites as well.
Bob: Who?
Maurice: Novo Resources.
Bob: I've never heard of them. I'm going to be a little bit cagey here. I mean, that's a terrible thing for me to say. Novo is, literally, having their AGM as you're doing this recording, and I don't want to say anything about Novo, until I hear the results of the AGM. But, I was there a month ago, Nova has an extraordinary future ahead of them, good management, tons of money in the bank. Quinton Hennigh is an absolute genius. Everybody hates the stock now, and how many times do I need to say, "You need to buy things when everybody hates them, and you need to sell them when everybody loves them." And, you got all these people at the chat boards whining and crying, "Oh my God, Novo's at a new low," and I'm thinking, "Why did they not see that as an opportunity?"
Platinum hit $790 an ounce today. Why would you whine about that? That's an opportunity. My God, it hasn't been $790 an ounce in many, many years. It is so cheap. Buy stuff when it's cheap, sell it when it's expensive. It is not complicated.
Maurice: You'll learn that in a book written by Bob Moriarty entitled "Nobody Knows Anything." Bob, we'll get to that in just a second. Before we leave here, full disclosure, Miramont Resources, Irving Resources, and Novo Resources, all three are sponsors of both 321 Gold and Proven and Probable, and by the way, unbeknownst to you, Bob, I will be interviewing Bill Pincus, CEO for Miramont Resources, this coming Friday.
Bob: Good. That's going to be a must listen to. I talked to him a few days ago. I was nibbling at the shares at 13 and 14 cents, and, obviously, word was getting out because the stock, literally, has doubled in 10 days. They have a brilliant future ahead of them. Peru can be a difficult country to deal with. Bill Pincus has it totally under control. They should have been drilling six months ago, and they didn't, and it's no big deal, and they will be drilling shortly.
Maurice: Moving on to physical precious metals. You wrote a piece, recently, which is a must read, entitled "These 113 Analyst Believe Gold Will Go Parabolic to Three Thousand or More." What compelled you to write this piece, and why now?
Bob: Well, here's what's very funny. I didn't write the piece. The piece came out in 2011, okay. Now, I had been contacted in 2011, and the woman who wrote the piece wanted to know my prediction for gold, and I said, "Well, I'll be happy to give you a prediction for gold." "Tell me what the dollars going to be." And she said, "Well, I have no idea what it's going to be." And I said, "Well, how can I tell you what gold's going to be if you can't tell me what the dollar's going to be, because gold is the inverse of the dollar now." We forget this, and we shouldn't because it's so basic. Anytime you're talking about the price of any commodity, you're talking about the commodity, and you're talking about the currency it's quoted in. Now, the funny thing is, gold had been up 12 years in a row, and everybody in the industry wanted to come out with an outrageous price.
Do you happen to know what the price of copper is today?
Maurice: $2.85 per pound.
Bob: From a mathematical point of view, if you wanted to predict the price of copper six months from now, from a mathematical point of view, what price should you predict? Because everything has to do with probability and permutations. If you know the price of copper, it's $2.85 today, and you want to predict the price from six months from now, mathematically speaking, ignore your opinion, what price should you predict? $2.85.
Maurice: And that being because?
Bob: Everything goes up. We know that. And, everything goes down. And that fact of the matter is, all prices wobble up and down, and we forget that because we think, "I really like gold. I really like silver. I really like platinum. Therefore, it should go up every single day." Well, markets don't work that way. "Well, if it doesn't go up every single day, it's proof somebody's manipulating it." Well, actually, everything's manipulated, so it's not proof of anything.
What we forget that all of this variation in price has nothing to do with the commodity, and everything to do with the value of the dollar.When you include inflation, the value of the dollar changes every single day. Between noon today and noon tomorrow, the value of the U.S. dollar will change 10,000 times. Now, that's actually insane from an economist point of view. If you're a Martian and you came to earth and you found out the currency changed its value 10,000 times in a day, the Martian would say, "You know, you guys are all nuts down here," and he would be correct.
But, in 2011 everybody watched gold go up 12 years in a row, so they thought, "well, mathematically, if it's gone up 12 years in a row, that means it's going to go up another 12 years in a row." And they forgot things go up and things go down. It's very funny because you look at those predictions seven years later, and we've got $1,200 and something gold, and you realize that people were being silly in their predictions. There are no experts, and there are no gurus, period.
Maurice: But, Bob, there is a way to navigate and make the value proposition, actually, work better for you, and I want to ask you this here. So, regarding physical precious metals, can you share with us, and you already have, but tell us why? What are you buying right now? You're not buying gold.
Bob: No, as a matter of fact I sold gold here recently. This goes back to my basic thesis, and it's the heart of the book, and it's very important to understand. You buy things when they're cheap and you sell them when they're expensive. The ratio of silver and gold has varied from about 16:1, to 101:1 over the last hundred years. For 50 of those years, the price of gold was fixed. And for 50 of those years, the price gold and silver was variable. So, that should give you a good idea of the range. Now, the average over the last 100 years been 54:1; silver has gotten very cheap, else it has, literally in the last week where it was 86:1, and you go back to 2011, it got down to about 32:1 where silver was very expensive.
Everybody makes investing way too complicated because the first mistake they make is they listen to people who feed their fantasies. Okay. Would you vote for an honest politician?
Maurice: My answer is, I would.
Bob: If you voted for an honest politician, how many votes would he get in total?
Maurice: It sounds like probably would just be myself.
Bob: That's correct, one vote. Politicians, television preachers and most financial analyst make their money, get their power, by feeding people's fantasies. They tell people what they want to hear, and you're always comfortable. If you got a certain belief set, if you believe that Catholics are horrible people, you want to go into a Baptist Church and listen to them talk about Catholics. If you think Muslims are horrible people, you want to go into a Catholic church and hear them talk about Muslims. We have prejudices. We have biases, and we listen to those people who feed those biases. I listen to TV preachers, and I'm sitting here thinking, how the hell could anybody listen to that unadulterated horse shit and send their money to these fools. But, the fools are the people in the audience throwing hundred dollar bills at people for telling what they want to hear.
And when you look at the state of politics in the United States, my God, it's embarrassing. I mean, I can tell you because I spend a lot of time outside the United States, the rest of the world's looking at the American political system saying, "You know, those people have gone off the deep end. They're all crazy," and they would be right.
Maurice: You know, what's very important for our audience to understand here, is again, you didn't say that silver is going to a certain numerical value. You just looked at the ratios between that and gold. Completely different perspective. I can share prior to me entering the public domain, I would listen to someone that would feed my paradigm, but silver is being manipulated, at the time, this is me 10 years ago entering the precious metals industry, and that silver's going to hit this parabolic number of $150 to $200 any day now because of the Federal Reserve. And, that was my reasoning for purchasing physical silver, and then, I had the opportunity to be introduced to the likes of your work, and I shifted that paradigm, and took a more responsible approach, and I appreciate you so much sharing that. It's a lesson that we all can learn from, and again, to learn more about lessons like that, the book that you're referring to is "Nobody Know Anything."
Bob: But, it's as simple as you should buy what's cheap, and you should sell what's dear. Right now, silver's cheap, gold's expensive. Now, I'm not predicting $50,0000 silver. I'm not predicting $200 gold. I'm not predicting anything. I'm taking facts. The ratio has been 16:1, to 101:1, over 100 years. That should be the parameters. The average has been 54:1. Silver has spent less than 1% of the time over the last 100 years above 86:1. All investing is based on mathematics at its heart. A mathematical point of view, the chances that you're profiting by buying silver and selling gold is 99%, and those are good odds.
Now, do I give a damn if silver goes down tomorrow? No. Okay. Same thing with platinum. My God, platinum's the cheapest relative to gold it's ever been in history. Yesterday, it was $460 an ounce cheaper than gold, yet for most of history since it was discovered in the 18th century, platinum's had a premium to gold. So, buy platinum and sit.
Maurice: That's exactly what we're doing. We're purchasing, very aggressively, both of those metals. May I ask you this as well? When you're looking at buying your silver, are you looking at 100 ounce bars? Do you like government minted coins? Do you like rounds, junk silver? Tell us what you're buying.
Bob: It's funny you say that. I am cheap. Okay. Silver is silver is silver, and somebody contacted me and he had a good deal on 100 ounce bars. So, I bought 100 ounce bars. But, I would buy whatever is cheap. It's all the same silver.
Maurice: Much agreed. I know some people have a certain perspective on getting government minted coins versus rounds, which are private minted coins, and I didn't know if you had a particular interest in either one of those two.
Bob: It's probably a good idea to have a variation. You can buy a tank of gas with a one ounce silver coin, but you can't buy a tank of gas with a 100 ounce silver bar.
Maurice: True indeed. Bob, let's shift our focus a little bit on something you and I both like to discuss as well, and let's compare precious metals now with a different type of coin, bitcoin.
Bob: No. No. No. No. No. You mispronounced that word.
Maurice: I certainly did. Please share with the audience. What is the appropriate name for this.
Bob: Bitcon.
Maurice: And how rare is Bitcon, by the way.
Bob: How rare is salt water in the ocean.
Maurice: Well, I would say there's a number of variations. Could you share with us, how many variations are there of Bitcon?
Bob: 2,513, roughly.
Maurice: And, isn't that part of one of the big marketing aspects of Bitcon is that it's supposed to be rare?
Bob: That's not rare. You can't have 2,513 variations and be considered rare.
Maurice: A year ago we had you on our show, and I believe at that time, we were looking at a $13,000 to $14,000 in U.S. currency on Bitcon, and today, we're looking at $3,400. Is that correct? And, your analysis at that time, it was going to go its intrinsic value of zero. So, it appears to be heading that direction.
Bob: Allow me to ask you a question, because actually, we're lower than $3,400 right now. If people would take the knowledge that they have, and their common sense, and some logic, they wouldn't need to listen to experts. They wouldn't need to listen to gurus. What is the value of a 99 cent stuffed toy?
Maurice: At the current market price, then it would be 99 cents.
Bob: Okay. What is the value of a Beanie Baby?
Maurice: Assuming that is the same toy that you're referring to, then I would say 99 cents.
Bob: Everything, eventually, returns to its real value. Beanie Babies were going for thousands of dollars because, supposedly, they were rare, and it was this everybody wanted to jump in and everybody wanted to collect, and they thought they were valuable because they were rare. They were 99 cent stuffed toys.
Bob's Wife: And we collected them.
Bob: That's my wife and Mr. Brown.
Bob's Wife: We got to them.
Maurice: And, introducing into the conversation, Bob, who do you have there with you?
Bob: Oh, that's my wife, Mr. Brown, her pet stuffed sheep.
Maurice: And, Mr. Brown, is he valued at 99 cents as well?
Bob: No. He's valued a lot higher than that. If my wife had the choice to get rid of me or get rid of Mr. Brown, it's like no choice at all. Let's go back to Bitcon and Beanie Babies. Which of those have value?
Maurice: Assuming for a child, they have some type of intrinsic value, but to someone purchasing it, I guess the current market price.
Bob: Well, no. Current market price could be absolutely incorrect.
Maurice: That's correct because the value at one time was significantly higher.
Bob: Correct.
Maurice: Bob, you make a good point there.
Bob: The strange thing is, when Beanie Babies were selling for thousands of dollars, it was because they were mispriced because everybody was chasing the fear of missing out. You've must have Beanie Babies was the narrative at the time. The key here is, at the very worst, Beanie Babies still are 79 cent, or 89 cent, or 99 cent toys. So, let's take that over to Bitcon and the 2,513 variations. What real value did they have? What intrinsic value is there there?
Maurice: I don't see one.
Bob: Well, yeah. I see one. I know exactly what the real value is.
Maurice: And what is that?
Bob: You can too if you think about it.
Maurice: Alright, please share with us, sir.
Bob: Zero.
Maurice: That was my point.
Bob: You said you didn't see it.
Maurice: My apologies, I was inferring, zero.
Bob: I went through and I re-read some of what I was saying last December. I did conducted a number of interviews because I was totally convinced Bitcon was at the top. I sought every measure that you would use to call the top of a bubble in December, but there were only 1,300 or 1,400 variations of Bitcon a year ago. That's almost doubled, yet the price of Bitcon has gone from $20,000 to $3,400. Bitcon gone down over 80%, but is there anything preventing it from going to zero? Actually, the only thing preventing it is the number of fools in the world who still believe there is some value there.
There is no value there. There is nothing now. There was nothing a year ago, and there's going to be nothing 10 years from now. Bitcon doesn't have the value of a Beanie Baby, and this electronic Beanie Baby made of bits and bytes of no particular value, and the mere fact that it's the biggest bubble in world history, okay, should tell you something. But, over $700 billion disappeared into Bitcon heaven.
Maurice: It's important to note, as you were speaking here, I'm thinking, Bitcon, and a con artist tries to emulate and fool. When I look at every image I ever see of Bitcon, they make it look like a gold coin.
Bob: They make it look like a coin and the funny thing is, there weren't any coins. There wasn't anything.
Maurice: Absolutely. And, then they also use mining terms, like you're mining bitcoin. That's what imposter does. An imposter, as we're referencing it appropriately here, Bitcon, the name fits very well.
Bob: But, here's what really funny. There were two arguments. One is, that it's some kind of electronic money, which it's not. And the other is that it's rare, and it's certainly not rare, not with 2,513 variations of it. People are starting to wake up. But, it has been fraud from the get go. It was a bubble. The current bubble right now is marijuana. And, I'll go you one better, and you're going to have to guess at the answer here. What's going to be the big bubble in 2019, or 2020, and 2021?
Maurice: Big bubble. You're putting me on the spot here.
Bob: Damn straight I am.
Maurice: Let me ask you this then. Are we referring to a natural resource here, by chance?
Bob: Yep.
Maurice: For some reason, my initial instinct is saying lithium.
Bob: It's already been on the bubble.
Maurice: Alright. If not lithium…
Bob: This new bubble is absolutely the equivalent of Bitcon and marijuana. We're going to have a bubble that's just going to go sky high. Everybody's going to jump into, everybody's going to think it's the greatest thing in the world, and everybody's going to buy it, and they're going to drive the price up right to the root. What is it?
Maurice: Then, if it's not lithium, then how about vanadium?
Bob: How about gold?
Maurice: Gold. Interesting. I was thinking more of on the base metals side here. Okay.
Bob: Here's what's crazy. Can you name a commodity that is incapable of going in a bubble?
Maurice: No, sir.
Bob: We've had stock market bubbles. We've had real estate market bubbles. We've had Bitcon bubbles. We've had marijuana bubbles. We had a silver bubble in 1980. Gold is going to have a bubble. Period. But, the purpose for me writing the book "Nobody Knows Anything" was to allow people to learn that they're capable of thinking for themselves. There is going to come a time when gold's expensive, silver's expensive, platinum's expensive, palladium's expensive, rhodium's expensive, and what do you do when they all get expensive?
Maurice: You should sell.
Bob: You better sell.
Maurice: Bob, as always, thank you for sharing your insights. Last question. What did I forget to ask?
Bob: You forgot to ask me about the book, "How to Invest In Natural Resource Companies."
Maurice: Absolutely. What can you share with us?
Bob: What book?
Wife: What book?
Maurice: The book on "How to Invest In Natural Resource Companies."
Bob: I think that's a great idea. I think somebody really needs to dig in, get to work and start writing the book.
Maurice: Can you give us an update on that person who might be writing that book?
Bob: You're coming in really broken. I’m having a hard time hearing you.
Maurice: Bob, you’ve got fill us in here. You've shared with us over a year ago that you'll be writing a book, and a number of speculators have been waiting.
Bob: I can see your lips move, but I can't hear anything you're saying.
Maurice: For audience members, he's pulling my leg here, and pulling your leg as well.
Bob: I have all the intentions in the world. I've started the book. I will do it.
Maurice: And you want to leave it at that? How about for 2019? Is that on the outlook there? Is that something on the horizon that. . .
Bob: Yeah. Yeah. 2019's good. It give me a lot of time to come up with new excuses.
Maurice: Okay. Well, before we leave here, I reference Bob Moriarty's two books, "The Art of Peace," and "Nobody Knows Anything." You can order your copy under our education tab. Proven and Probable does not receive any financial for selling or advertising. But, we see these books as a must have for your library. We've benefited financially from applying the axioms in the book. Bob, for someone listening who wants to get more information on your work, please share the websites.
Bob: 321 Gold, and 321 Energy. They're free sites, and they are valuable.
Maurice: And, if you're looking to sell or buy physical precious metals, we welcome a conversation. Please email me at [email protected] or call me directly at 919-274-5680. And last but not least, please visit our website www.provenandprobable.com where we interview the most respected names in the natural resource space. If you would like to have a discussion regarding precious metals, please contact us at [email protected].
Bob Moriarty of 321 Gold, and 321Energy.com, thank you for joining us today on Proven and Probable.
Speaker 4: Thank you for joining us today on Proven and Probable. Remember to like and subscribe for more conversations with the most respected names in the natural resource space. Check out our website at www.provenandprobable.com. The information presented on Proven and Probable is provided for educational and informational purposes only without any expressed or implied warranty of any kind, including warranties of accuracy, completeness, or fitness for any particular purpose. The information is not intended to be and does not constitute financial, investment, or trading advice, or any other advice. You should not make any financial, investment, or trading decision based on any of the information presented without first undertaking independent due diligence and consultation with a professional broker of competent financial advisor.
Bob and Barb Moriarty brought 321gold.com to the Internet almost 16 years ago. They later added 321energy.com to cover oil, natural gas, gasoline, coal, solar, wind and nuclear energy. Both sites feature articles, editorial opinions, pricing figures and updates on current events affecting both sectors. Previously, Moriarty was a Marine F-4B and O-1 pilot with more than 832 missions in Vietnam. He holds 14 international aviation records.
Maurice Jackson is the founder of Proven and Probable, a site that aims to enrich its subscribers through education in precious metals and junior mining companies that will enrich the world.
Sign up for our FREE newsletter at: www.streetwisereports.com/get-news
Disclosure: 1) Bob Moriarty: I, or members of my immediate household or family, own shares of the following companies mentioned in this article: Miramont Resources, Irving Resources and Novo Resources. I personally am, or members of my immediate household or family are, paid by the following companies mentioned in this article: None. My company has a financial relationship with the following companies mentioned in this article: Miramont Resources, Irving Resources and Novo Resources are sponsors of 321 Gold and/or 321 Energy. 2) Maurice Jackson: I, or members of my immediate household or family, own shares of the following companies mentioned in this article: Irving Resources and Novo Resources. I personally am, or members of my immediate household or family are, paid by the following companies mentioned in this article: None. My company has a financial relationship with the following companies mentioned in this article: Miramont Resources, Irving Resources and Novo Resources are sponsors of Proven and Probable. Proven and Probable disclosures are listed below. 3) The following companies mentioned in this article are billboard sponsors of Streetwise Reports: None. Click here for important disclosures about sponsor fees. 4) Statements and opinions expressed are the opinions of the author and not of Streetwise Reports or its officers. The author is wholly responsible for the validity of the statements. The author was not paid by Streetwise Reports for this article. Streetwise Reports was not paid by the author to publish or syndicate this article. The information provided above is for informational purposes only and is not a recommendation to buy or sell any security. Streetwise Reports requires contributing authors to disclose any shareholdings in, or economic relationships with, companies that they write about. Streetwise Reports relies upon the authors to accurately provide this information and Streetwise Reports has no means of verifying its accuracy. 5) This article does not constitute investment advice. Each reader is encouraged to consult with his or her individual financial professional and any action a reader takes as a result of information presented here is his or her own responsibility. By opening this page, each reader accepts and agrees to Streetwise Reports' terms of use and full legal disclaimer. This article is not a solicitation for investment. Streetwise Reports does not render general or specific investment advice and the information on Streetwise Reports should not be considered a recommendation to buy or sell any security. Streetwise Reports does not endorse or recommend the business, products, services or securities of any company mentioned on Streetwise Reports. 6) From time to time, Streetwise Reports LLC and its directors, officers, employees or members of their families, as well as persons interviewed for articles and interviews on the site, may have a long or short position in securities mentioned. Directors, officers, employees or members of their immediate families are prohibited from making purchases and/or sales of those securities in the open market or otherwise from the time of the interview or the decision to write an article until three business days after the publication of the interview or article. The foregoing prohibition does not apply to articles that in substance only restate previously published company releases.
Proven and Probable LLC receives financial compensation from its sponsors. The compensation is used is to fund both sponsor-specific activities and general report activities, website, and general and administrative costs. Sponsor-specific activities may include aggregating content and publishing that content on the Proven and Probable website, creating and maintaining company landing pages, interviewing key management, posting a banner/billboard, and/or issuing press releases. The fees also cover the costs for Proven and Probable to publish sector-specific information on our site, and also to create content by interviewing experts in the sector. Monthly sponsorship fees range from $1,000 to $4,000 per month. Proven and Probable LLC does accept stock for payment of sponsorship fees. Sponsor pages may be considered advertising for the purposes of 18 U.S.C. 1734.
The Information presented in Proven and Probable is provided for educational and informational purposes only, without any express or implied warranty of any kind, including warranties of accuracy, completeness, or fitness for any particular purpose. The Information contained in or provided from or through this forum is not intended to be and does not constitute financial advice, investment advice, trading advice or any other advice. The Information on this forum and provided from or through this forum is general in nature and is not specific to you the User or anyone else. You should not make any decision, financial, investments, trading or otherwise, based on any of the information presented on this forum without undertaking independent due diligence and consultation with a professional broker or competent financial advisor. You understand that you are using any and all Information available on or through this forum at your own risk.
( Companies Mentioned: IRV:CSE; IRVRF:OTCBB, MONT:CSE, NVO:TSX.V; NSRPF:OTCQX, )
from https://www.streetwisereports.com/article/2018/12/11/bob-moriartys-outlook-on-2019.html
0 notes
Text
The Present (Wedding 1/3)
A TAJWASH Story by Shannen Michaelsen
Happy Valentine’s Day! I was going to wait and post this at a reasonable hour but here we are.
Sherlock didn’t get Eliza a bridal shower present.
Which was fine. Like, totally fine. Like, who even cares about presents, right? She didn’t get Violet a present either. Violet wasn’t technically getting married, but she was part of the ceremony and besides, Violet didn’t want presents. Violet didn’t even want a bridal shower, so it made sense why Sherlock wouldn’t get her a present, but why didn’t she get Eliza a present?
It probably meant nothing. She’s Sherlock! She’s not even that good at picking out presents.
Besides, she would probably get her a present for the wedding. Or the bachelorette party. Or both! That’s two presents to look forward to.
Eliza had asked Jamie, “She’s going to get me—I mean, all of us a present for the wedding, right?”
“Uhhhh,” Jamie had said.
Okay, so she crossed her fingers and waited for the bachelorette party.
They didn’t have a maid of honor or a best man, because Violet would be standing next to them both for the ceremony. So Wendy and Jamie were in charge of planning the bachelorette party, and John’s friend Frank was in charge of the bachelor party.
Which of course meant Eliza tried to plan them both.
“Remember,” she had told Wendy and Jamie, “homemade cake. And I don’t want any of that gross penis jewelry or whatever it is they have for bachelorette parties. And no drinking—I know, I know, but it’s the night before the wedding and I don’t want to get hungover…okay, one drink each! And let’s just play some party games and watch a movie. We can play that game where we see which one of you guys knows me and Violet the best! And Sherlock can’t play this time, since she beat my mom at the bridal shower and that made her upset. And then we’ll open presents!”
“Presents?” Wendy had said. “Are there usually presents at a bachelorette party?”
“Well why wouldn’t there be?” Eliza said. “Oh! And the most important rule. No boys.”
“No boys,” Jamie repeated.
“It’s a bachelorette party,” Eliza said. “No boys.”
“What about Stanley?” Jamie asked.
“He’s a boy!” Eliza said.
“But he’s our friend—”
“He can go to John’s party.”
“Okay but Wiggins is allowed, right?” Jamie asked.
“Is Wiggins a boy?”
“No—”
“Then Wiggins is allowed! I just said no boys.”
“What about a stripper?” Wendy asked.
“I wouldn’t object, but Violet would.”
“Fine, no male strippers—”
“No female strippers either!”
“Fine, no strippers, no boys,” Wendy said. “I’m okay with that.”
Eliza went to Frank the next day. She let herself into his apartment because John used to live there and she still had a key. Frank had been sitting in the arm chair, staring at the door, as though he had been expecting her.
Before she could even speak, he held up a hand and said, “Say no more, Lizzie McGuire. I know what I’m doing.”
“You don’t, Frank,” she said. “You really don’t.”
“I do,” he said.
“Then what are you doing for the bachelor party?” she asked.
“Nerf gun fight.”
She thought about this.
“Acceptable,” she said.
“And of course, the strippers will accompany us to the Nerf fight—”
“No!” she said and grabbed the front of Frank’s shirt. “No strippers. If I don’t get a stripper, neither does he.”
“I got you, girl,” he said. “No strippers. Done deal.”
“Unless, like, it’s a dinosaur stripper, that would be funny, but I don’t think you’re going to find one of those.”
“I would hope not.”
She let go of him. “And you have to invite Stanley.”
“Who?”
“Exactly,” she said. “Small boy, very loud. Good friends with John.”
“All right, he’s in,” Frank said.
“Also!” she said. “Do not Nerf fight in Moor Gate Park. Because that park will chew you up and spit you back out. Although honestly, I wouldn’t be sad if it did, Frank Lin.”
“Where has all this animosity been hiding, Liz?” Frank said.
“In the closet where I’ll be hiding your body if you mess this up.”
“Whoa.” He held up his hands. “Okay. No strippers, yes dinosaurs, I’ll invite the small boy, and no Moor Gate Park. Am I missing anything?”
“Cake—”
“There will be cake and it will be good,” he said. “I promise.”
She could trust no one.
The boys claimed John and Eliza’s apartment as their home base, which was fine because the Watson-Wiggins-Hooper-Holmes townhouse had more space for a sleepover anyway. The bachelorettes were: Eliza, Violet, Jamie, Wendy, Sherlock, Wiggins, Charlotte Parker, Laura Lyons, and Alice Beech.
The festivities began at seven o’clock sharp.
Jamie and Wendy had taken the games suggestion to heart and there were piles of tabletop games in the living room. They played Twister, which Violet was the best at. The played Cards Against Humanity, and every time Wendy lost, she insisted they play again, until they were six rounds in, and she finally threw in the towel when Wiggins won for the third time in a row. They played some game called One Night Ultimate Werewolf and had to give up after four rounds, all of which Sherlock won. They played an interesting version of Uno which was also a drinking game, led by Charlotte, and Eliza suspected it was just her way of getting around the one drink rule.
Eventually, they were all curled up on the couch and floor, watching a romcom that Eliza did not pay attention to because she was too busy thinking about how John’s bachelor party was going. She laid with her head in Violet’s lap and stared up at the ceiling.
“I should’ve made him a cake,” she said. “I can’t trust the boys to make him a cake. And even if they did, it wouldn’t be good. They wouldn’t think to shape it like a dinosaur, and they wouldn’t even be able to do that, I have the dinosaur cake pan and they didn’t ask to borrow it. Do they all know his favorite color is green? Are they going to theme everything correctly?”
“Frank knows his favorite color is green,” Violet said.
“Are you sure?” Eliza said quickly.
“Yeah, I told him,” Violet said. “And they wouldn’t want to make a dinosaur cake, you know how he can sometimes be about the idea of eating a dinosaur.”
“You’re right,” Eliza said. “He does freak out about weird things like that. He just gets so anxious sometimes…”
Violet looked down at her.
“He gets anxious?” she said.
“Um, yeah?” Eliza said. “What are you trying to say?”
“I’m saying you’re freaking out,” Violet said, running her hands through Eliza’s hair.
“Uh—psh—who—me? No!” Eliza said. “I have nothing to freak out about, excuse me. When are we opening presents?”
When the movie finished, they gathered around the coffee table, where everyone had piled the presents that Eliza had told them they did not need to bring, and Violet had told them they absolutely did need to bring or else Eliza would be disappointed. Wendy had knit them hats to go with the scarves she had given them at the bridal shower. Jamie’s name was also on this gift, even though Eliza knew she had nothing to do with it, but that was fine. Charlotte and Laura gave them an X-Files DVD boxset. Wiggins gave them a space-themed postcard set they had gotten discount at the Challenger Museum.
“So, uh, you can send us postcards from your honeymoon or whatever,” they said.
And Alice gave them a photo album that was full of pictures of all of the friends hanging out over the years.
“I got them all from Facebook,” she said, “I hope that’s okay.”
“Awww, look,” Violet said, pointing at a picture of her and Alice. “This is outside the courthouse after you won custody of Cooper!”
“Uh. Yeah,” Alice said.
And Sherlock got them nothing.
Which was fine. And Eliza wasn’t going to say anything. It was okay.
But then, Sherlock stood up in the center of the room, and cleared her throat.
“I know this is a bachelorette party and therefore very feminine coded,” she said.
“Yes, and I apologize for that,” Eliza said. “Go on.”
“I was hoping you wouldn’t mind if one man joined us,” Sherlock said.
Eliza narrowed her eyes and looked at Violet sitting next to her. Violet just shrugged. Eliza looked back at Sherlock.
“Is the man a stripper?” she asked.
“No.”
“Okay…is it Stanley?”
“No.”
“Good…is it you?”
“No.”
“Oh, then…is it John?”
“Eliza—”
“Fine, I’m out of guesses, who is it?”
There was a knock on the door.
Sherlock held up one finger, then left the room.
Eliza shot across the room to the window, sending tissue paper flying.
“Eliza, oh my god!” Wendy said, swatting some wrapping paper off of her. “What’s up?”
The others joined Eliza at the window and tried to see who was standing in the doorway, talking to Sherlock.
There were two men, only one of whom was in their clear line of vision. He was wearing a suit and didn’t appear to be talking.
“FBI?” Violet said. “CIA? NSA? Secret service?”
“Why would the secret service be here?” Laura said. “Do you think the president is visiting?”
“I hope not, but either way, we should probably go—”
“No, no, Vi, wait,” Eliza said, grabbing Violet’s arm so she wouldn’t escape out the back door.
The man in the suit turned around to face the street and the light from the front hallway vanished as the other man entered and the front door closed.
“They’re coming!” Alice said.
“Everyone act normal!” Violet said.
Violet dove under the coffee table, dragging Wiggins down with her. Alice sat on the table and grabbed the photo album, as though she was looking at it. Charlotte and Laura dropped onto the love seat. Jamie lounged across the couch. But Eliza stood in place by the window, Wendy standing right behind her. They all stared at the doorway.
Sherlock entered, and immediately narrowed her eyes at the scene before her. She looked at Violet and Wiggins under the table.
“Subtle,” she said.
“What agent have you brought into our home?” Violet asked.
“Not your home,” Wendy said.
“What agent have you brought into our home?” Wiggins asked, smirking.
Sherlock rolled her eyes and stepped aside.
Arthur Selden slowly peeked around the corner. Then he stepped into full view.
“Sorry I’m late,” he said.
“Art!” Eliza yelled.
“Hey, Lizzie!” he said.
Eliza flung her arms around her brother and he hugged her back.
“Never say I didn’t get you a present,” Sherlock said.
“Oh my god!” Eliza said. She let go of Arthur to throw her arms around Sherlock, who stiffened.
“Whoa, dude,” Wiggins said, wriggling out from under the table. “I thought you were gone for good.”
“Wiggins!” Arthur said. “Come here.” He gave Wiggins a quick hug.
Alice closed the photo album. “Wait,” she said, “who’s Art?”
“Like, Arthur?” Charlotte asked. “Your brother? This is your brother?”
“Yeah!” Eliza said, spinning around. “Everyone, this is Arthur! Arthur, this is everyone!”
“Nice to meet you,” he said, awkwardly waving his hand.
“Hold on, then who’s the guy outside?” Laura asked.
“Oh, uh, that’s my handler,” he said.
“Handler?” Laura repeated. But she didn’t get a chance to ask more questions before Violet had popped out from under the table and pointed an accusing finger at Arthur.
“How do we know it’s the real Arthur?” Violet said. “They make excellent clones these days.”
“It’s really me, Violet,” Arthur said. “And it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Even if you are real,” she continued, “how do we know you’re not a spy?”
“I am a spy.”
Violet was taken aback by this confession. Nobody had ever admitted to such a thing. She looked around the room and everyone looked back at her with confused and surprised expressions.
“Wait, did you not realize that?” Arthur asked. “Eliza, have you not told them?’
“Well, I didn’t know what was a secret and what wasn’t,” she said. “And it’s kind of hard to explain that your brother was arrested for trying to sell government secrets…”
“I’ve got this thing—” He pulled his pant leg up a bit and they could see an ankle bracelet. “—but I’m working with Ms. Holmes’ department now.”
“Please don’t call my sister Ms. Holmes,” Sherlock said. “But yes, Mr. Selden carried out his sentence and rehabilitation and is now working with the…government.” She said government like it was a particularly nasty word.
“You know, like Frank Abagnale Jr.,” Arthur said, grinning.
“You’re not that cool, Art,” Eliza said.
“I am so that cool!” he said.
“So the guy outside is here to make sure you don’t run away?” Laura asked incredulously.
“Wow,” Wendy said, “so Violet was actually right when she thought he was a government agent.”
“I’m always right about these things, Wendy,” Violet said.
Wendy and Jamie exchanged amused looks.
“You really haven’t told them anything?” Arthur muttered to Eliza.
“Nope,” Eliza said. “Let me introduce you to each of them!”
She grabbed his arm and pulled him to each person.
“You know Wiggins—”
“I do. Hi again.”
“And Violet. We’re getting married.”
“Yes.”
“That’s Jamie, we used to be roommates. She’s a famous vlogger.”
“No,” Jamie said. “I’m not—”
“And that’s Wendy! She and Jamie are dating. She made Vi and I these hats. And that’s Charlotte!”
“I remember Charlotte. The hound, right?”
“Right! And Laura, too. They’re also dating. And Alice!”
“Nice to meet you, Alice.”
“She and Violet are friends. And Sherlock! You know Sherlock.”
“Yes, she arrested me.”
Sherlock shrugged.
“It happens,” she said.
“Oh, I’m so glad you’re here!” Eliza said, hugging her brother again.
“And you didn’t want any boys at this party,” Jamie said.
“Oh, that reminds me,” Arthur said, sitting on the table. “I actually had a mission tonight.”
“I knew it!” Violet said, pointing another accusatory finger. “He’s a spy.”
“I already told you, I am a spy,” Arthur said. He pulled out his phone and Eliza sat next to him. “My mission was to check up on someone for you.”
He opened the photos and Eliza’s smile grew wider (if that was possible) as Arthur showed her pictures from John’s bachelor party.
“This is why I was late,” he said.
“I knew you would be obsessing about how John’s party went,” Sherlock said. “So I sent Mr. Selden over there to make sure things went well.”
“I think it would’ve gone fine without me,” Arthur said. They all leaned in to look at a picture of John sitting in a tree, a Nerf gun in his hands, and a focused look on his face.
“Aww,” Eliza and Violet said at the same time.
“Did he win?” Eliza asked. “Everyone let him win, right?”
“Yeah, he won,” Arthur said.
“Good,” Eliza said. “But wait, you were playing in the woods? What woods?”
“Not Moor Gate Park!”
They all let out a sigh of relief.
“Well, it looks like it was fun,” Eliza said. “Are you…are you going to be at the wedding?”
Arthur’s smile faded and he looked up at Sherlock for an answer. Sherlock tapped her foot and looked at the floor.
“Big place, lots of people,” she said, “very easy to lose track of someone.”
“I’m not going to run away,” Arthur said.
Sherlock gave him a look that made it clear she did not believe him.
“Right,” she said. “Well…maybe I can swing something…get you to the wedding, but not the reception…of course, if you were to run and you simply…went to the reception…I doubt there would be major ramifications.”
Arthur smiled and Eliza squealed. “Thank you, Sherlock.”
“Of course, I know how to get that anklet off without raising alarms,” Violet said.
“No, you don’t,” Sherlock said.
“You don’t know me!” Violet said.
They decided to play one more board game before going to bed, even though it was well past midnight. After much debate, they settled on “a quick game of Clue,” as Wiggins put it, though they were smiling in a slightly scary way. Eliza should have known that Clue was not a good idea, but she was too happy about her brother’s presence, about her wedding in the morning, and about her wonderful presents, to think about how a game of Clue might go with present company.
They never did finish the game. Though, when Eliza was curling up on the air mattress next to Violet a few hours later, she could hear Sherlock and Arthur at the front door, arguing over why exactly one would choose a lead pipe as their murder weapon if a revolver was available. It was Wendy who finally kicked Arthur out and Jamie who got Sherlock to shut up.
But just before she fell asleep, Eliza heard Sherlock, ascending the stairs to her bedroom, say, “Good night.”
“Good night,” Eliza whispered, to nobody in particular, as Sherlock was already gone. She looked at the living room full of friends, smiled, and said, “Thank you.”
8 notes · View notes