#and no hate to the listed tropes because they make lots of sense given the context

[imaginepirates]

Every norribeth au ever is either "they lived happily ever after" or "she crushed his heart and soul", and that's good and all, but I propose a different route:

They're in Port Royal. They get married, like they're expected to. They're good friends. The marriage is just a cover, though, because they're both seeing other people (Lizzie with Will, James with Jack) and they cover for each other constantly because oh! The social taboos! The Governor's daughter and a blacksmith? Preposterous! The commodore and a goddamn pirate? Unthinkable!

They're a sassy pair of bitches and can act completely in love when the situation calls for it, but at the end of the day, they're having the last laugh and a fist-bump because they've damn well fooled society into thinking they're the perfect married couple.

[chaifootsteps]

just me or is the whole 'saying this is like fanfic is homophobia' framing kind of frustrating? like just to list out the tropes that have come up so far in HH/HB:

female character is written as an evil shrew who gets in the way of the m/m pairing

relationship that starts with rape/dubcon rewritten into true love (this one is probably more common in bad BL manga but I'm willing to bet there's some overlap)

character is the child of a mob family

portrayals of rape/sexual assault treated as titillating / used for drama

portrayals of domestic violence/abuse used mainly to get viewers to feel sorry for a character instead of making them sympathetic on their own terms

abusers/rapists being all powerful monsters solely to torture the victim as much as possible

characters are either Good or Bad and writing is heavy handed about driving this point home

writers has one character they stan and baby above all others and not only the writing but the world bends around them as they eat up more and more screentime while the actual main characters are shoved to the side

writer has one character they hate and they hate other people liking them so they derail them in the most obvious way possible

writer has one pairing they despise and go out of their way to make them seem familial to shame the fans who ship it

writer has intended pairings in mind but they just kinda happen regardless of how much work has been put in to give them real chemistry

the plotlines jump all over the place with no consideration given to the differing stakes each create or audience fatigue when too much is introduced at once/too many hanging threads are left, similar to what happens in unplanned serialized fiction. consistency and worldbuilding errors abound. conversations/events that seem like they should change the status quo kinda don't but there's so little way to tell which one is which that audiences cannot gauge the stakes and either stop being invested or just take the show as it comes since there's no point anticipating anything being done with a lot of its characters & plot points

too many characters, often some of whom don't serve much purpose but the writer is way too attached to to ever cut out (looking at you, Andrealphus & Vassago)

characters are rewritten on the fly. due to the lack of planning their arcs start and stop or get quietly dropped when the writer tires of them

pervasive attitude of misogyny - female characters are underwritten, bitches, dumb or accessories to the men. The world revolves around the (usually white) m/m pairing/s

the main premise is dropped in favor of shipping drama or character shilling

etc.

There's probably more but those are the big ones - like s1 wasn't perfect but s2 really does feel like it became fanfic of itself. I understand Viv being frustrated if it seems like a broad dismissive brush instead of specific critiques, but there's a couple of problems here:

when people give specific critiques she either misrepresents their points to frame them as bad faith (tacitly encouraging her fans to do the same), complains people keep making the same point or writes defensive threads about how people just don't get it because, for example, the show totally demonstrates Millie has qualities other than Wife and Violent

when people say something 'feels like fanfic' as far as I've seen they aren't immediately using it as shorthand for 'it has LGBT characters'. usually when they expand on their points what they're getting at is a lack of planning and a lack of experience or competency in the writer that gives the whole thing impression of being done by an amateur who's either young or still learning their craft, or both

it's the same lack of experienced hands that resulted in the opening of Hazbin being so amateurish and lacking the sense of having actual episodes until other staff writers were brought in to clean up the mess

like yeah I don't like the implication that 'fanfic=automatically bad' since I've read some good stuff myself and maybe people could be more specific; but usually this critique is coming from people who actually like fanfic, who've read a lot of it and who recognize the tropes from the worst fanfics out there in Viv's work

Viv's little "Um, actually, fanfic is good and queer and so if you use it as an insult towards my shows, you're homophobic" snit is one of the more rancid things she's said. When you lay it all out like this, it really does go to show how her stories embody all the worst, most harmful tropes bad fanfic -- and bad writing in general -- has to offer.

[the-sinful-voice-witch]

Things I love ❤ or I hate 💔 in Powerpuff girls fanfics

Important, this is completely written with my personal preferences and individual taste, is not meant to attack anyone so remember: If you love what I hate is ok and if you hate what I love is ok too. Let's respect each other's individual preferences in fanfics and characters 🫂, also I admit some things that I might dislike are justified to happen depending of the gender of the story whether is dark, or just a bit serious but with comedy, slice of life... Or if the author simply wants to change some aspects of the characters and be creative, no one is obligated to indulge my preferences. (By the way this things could be something I have read so many times in lots of fanfics or it could be something I only read once, either way they're going to the list) :

Bubbles reaching a point she snaps and becomes hardcore and maybe a bit sadist. Love it, the trope of being the cutest🥰 character until you get crossed 🤬 is one of my favorites, all cuteness has its dark side😈. I love part of Bubbles point in fight is being dismissed by villains only to make them strongly regret it later.

Professor Utonium being an overprotective dad and intimidating to the RRB. Hate it, more like hating it is more like if you exaggerate with his overprotection is annoying 😑😑 and the situation where he is able to intimidate the RRB is just hilariously ridiculous and impossible to me🤪😬... Like if he can intimidate the boys what are the girls for in the first place why do they need them then? 🤷‍♀️ It doesn't make sense, also the Professor is a very sweet accepting person and also he has some sense of guilt towards Mojo Jojo who is the responsable of the RRBs, he would probably want to help them going to the right path rather than trying to antagonize them being an "intimidating" Dad.

Bubbles being a weak pushover who is constantly compared to her sisters and needs another character help to get stronger because otherwise she is useless. Hate it, as if she was less than her sisters, I just can't take it if she gets dismissed or bullied and she just accepts it and somebody else has to defend her 😤😤(not in all escenarios thought, I mean certain situations specifically). Bubbles is sensitive but she has a temper, she won't take bullying just like that, she can fight her two sisters at the same time and they never hesitate to call for her help if they are overpowered. There's a fanfic where they have to give up some classes to watch over the boys and Bubbles got the worst part having to give up something she loves, Blossom not bad intentioned but still thoughtless and insensitive says that because of her good grades and Buttercup being a sport star they give prestige to the school unlike her🤡🤡 and Bubbles just accepts this, she never speaks up against this or complains! 🤬🤬What she renounced to caused other students to bully her and she still doesn't stands up for herself, she doesn't even tell her sisters and someone else has to defend her WTF, excuse me?🤬🤬 Nope. Or other fic where she and Butch have a relationship and the whole premise is how useless she is in battle, being compared to Buttercup all the time and needing Butch to teach her how to fight... HELLO??? NOPE.🙅‍♀️

Butch's multiple nicknames for Buttercup. Love it, honestly Buttercup has the biggest amount of nicknames, mostly given by Butch : Butters, Butterfly (they could name their daughter that), Butt-Cup, Butterbitch, Butterbabe, Bitterbitch, Butterbutt... lol 🤣🤣🤣

Buttercup being the sister with the most experience in love. Love it, seriously I just love the irony and contrast of the puff that was the most grossed out about romance and kissing, the known toughest fighter being actually the first one having deep serious romantic feelings and relationships and being first experiencing heartbreak. 😭😭😭

The Blues always having the easiest love story or starting a general RRB-PPG story with them already in love. Hate it, seriously whether you chose to make Boomer a jerk or a super sweet guy you shouldn't make that easy a relationship, I mean where is the good juice? This two get lovey dovey two fast and easy like they can't have a decent funny banter like their siblings!? 😫Trust me they can and they should otherwise is too boring. I specially dislike it when at the beginning of the story they are already in love or even in a relationship, where is the juicy process?? 😐

The greens starting with violence a lot of banter only to become bros, (yes, Buttercup is a Bro) and besties and eventually falling in love and taking a long time to accept it. Love it, oh boy I LOVE it, the only time I like a slow burn is when the characters are like this, the greens are just so entertaining,👌👌 so aggressively in denial and it can get so deep a wholesome! My favorite is in that fanfic where he actually starts obsessingly lusting over Blossom in such exaggerated way that when he starts to fall for Buttercup it created a marvelous deep contrast between the shallow attraction and the hopeless deep feelings of love and is just so beautifully written (even though the reds are terrible and the blues are bland in that fic) , seriously you can feel hard the difference of how he sees the beauty of Buttercup in the simplest and most meaningful way full of feeling😭💗 compared to his constant obsessed shallow remarks towards Blossom's "hotness". It was just too good, I don't know if I ever going to read another fic with the Greens being that good again. 🥺💚💚

Bubbles being the one with the most emotional intelligence. Love it, is just the best when characters around her are used to her being slow thinking and having her head in the clouds to suddenly realize that she picks up instantly others people feelings and understands them perfectly. After all Blossom is the mind 🧠, Buttercup is the body 💪and Bubbles is the heart 🫀of the group.

Butch getting a kick out of fighting Buttercup. Love it, a classic Butch being a masochist per usual, never gets old. 👊😂😂

Boomer being a clumsy macho tsundere. Love it, I'm weak with tsundere characters and I think it fits him, he trying to act all macho but ending up being super clumsy making Bubbles think he is cute. 🥰

Buttercup being described as someone always dressed with chandals, hoodie and baggy clothes... Ect and specially making her wear that kind of clothes because she is ashamed of her femenine attributes. Hate it, because I don't see Buttercup as that kind of tomboy 😕, she would wear skirts or dresses as long as they suit her style (like of course she would hate a princess tutú duh! but denim skirts exist ok) and also I just can't picture her being ashamed of the femininity of her body,😤she is only shy about feelings or intimacy but if she has a worked out body with muscles to show, boobs or not she WILL show off to brag.

Buttercup being popular with girls while being straight. Love it, I like girls fangirling over a good tomboy but I also love that you don't fall in the stereotype of the tomboy having to be the lesbian, lesbians can be also femenine and girly ok?💅💄💋 I also like the jokes about her being a lesbian, because of course if she was actually one then it wouldn't be a joke. 😇😂

Blossom being: too correct, entitled, Mary Sue, cold, party pooper, too serious, too mean, too bossy controlling, too victimitist or sacrificed, too perfect... All this not as a puntual moment in the story but she being like this all the time. Hate it, but ok to be fair is true that Blossom has a lot of attributes that can make characters be obnoxious but I swear she also have other attributes that make up for it and create a good balance: yes she is self-centered, but still caring and supporting to others,😌 yes she is prideful but when her pride is hurt she pouts and that's cute🤭, yes she is bossy but she also knows she doesn't have full control on her sisters and she can be a cool girlboss😎, yes she can be serious...sometimes because mostly she is really silly and likes to have fun🙃🙂, yes she can be all about following the rules but we all know she always ends up breaking them when is convenient to her🤫, she can be selfish or mean but that is not her everyday, she studies a lot but likes comics and video games too... She is a good 3 dimensional character.

Also Blossom being humble and modest like for real not pretending to be. Hate it, she humble?😂 Ja, NOPE. Following my previous statement, she is a bit full of herself despite having insecurities but writers tend to make her modest because loving too much your appearance and brag about it it's seen as a bad thing but there are plenty of pleasant characters that brag a lot about their looks and are lovable like Stella from winx club or Rouge the bat. I like Blossom to be that character that once she notices her beauty gets good reactions she is going to own it and walk through the hall like in a catwalk with her chin up 💅😎(only to more likely crash into a closed door or something because she was so busy enjoying that she didn't pay attention). Trust me, most of the time the excessive modesty ends up being extremely annoying. Example, beach day scene I have read that made me roll my eyes hard: RRB, PPG and some of their school friends, here Blossom is uncharacteristically antisocial and prefers to hide away and read a book while covering herself as much as she can (because of course wearing a swimsuit being attractive is such an indecent thing to do 😑) Instead of playing with her sisters and friends, but at some point she decided to play volley and OMG she uncovered herself and showed her swimsuit!😱 Only to cover herself again fast...😐 Bricks legs wavered like he almost faint... The boys gasp Butch feigns a heart attack blah blah. This was just so meh🙄😬! I would have liked it more if she made a sexy stunt purposely to provoke Brick who is a big jerk here so she could gloat on his reaction without any shame about her body. In fact the opposite when Brick took off his shirt was better and funny, he did it to scape from his brothers who where dragging him and then a horny Buttercup destroyed it to shamelessly look at his abs 🤣🤣(that was a lot funnier than Butch reaction to Blossom) ,I guess is because Brick was only annoyed and grumpy but he wasn't ashamed or uncomfortable with the attractiveness of his body. I'm am being a sexist bitch? Nah, 🤷‍♀️a girl who is uncomfortable with being pretty(with her specific background) and is a teenager acting like a entitled prudish bitter adult lady at the same time😬 is just not my cup of tea... Not my Blossom, this Blossom gives hard slut-shaming vibes😒.... Ok ok I know I roasted her way too much, but I can't help it! Blossom is supposed to look up to miss Bellum and Wonder Woman and I totally think this one would disapprove them showing legs and Cleaveage 😫 DISHONOR that's something only the garbage Blossom from the Garbage 2016 bullshit reboot would do, don't make your fanfic Blossoms do the same!! 😭😭

The boys playing affectionately even as teens or adults. Love it, people don't give credit enough to this kind of scenes and they are so wholesome, I remember one fanfic that had a chapter where Boomer and Butch became dogs 🐶🐶and Boomer jumps on Brick and they start wrestling and the Butch jumps in too! 🥰And they were having fun I almost never get to read this kind of things because they usually write Brick like too cool, grumpy and wannabe a serious adult for this kind of thing.

Brick being a hot eye candy with so much bad boy aura and his brothers being jealous of that. Love it, ok when its about the girls I hate when there's only one super popular so I have to admit I'm being a bit sexist but i can't help it! the bros being dramatic because they don't get the same reaction as Brick from the fangirls is funny😆😆, they are handsome too 😍but Brick has the best brooding bad boy aura, like I can forget Brick being too much of a jerk if it gets me an emotional sibling conflict,👌👌that way I can dislike him but I can like his brothers development. Brotherly jealousy like this gives good boy drama.

Butch being kind of a pervert or a manwhore. Love it, specifically when is the kind of comical pervert that like in the animes gets bonked or smacked or punched in the face any time he tries to be flirty funny and says something gross. 🤣🤣🤣

Buttercup being a tsundere. Love it, just like with Boomer it fits her, we all now she is shy with sappy stuff, scared of having feelings, being defensive, blushing hard... I'm sure Bubbles thinks her sister is cute when she is like this 😍😍

Bubbles being innocently eager and Boomer being too awkward to handle it. Love it, you know that thing when a boy gets cocky and so sure of himself with a seemingly innocent pure girl and when he finally conquers her unexpectedly she gets forward and eager and suddenly the boy loses the confidence and gets awkward? Oh that's a good juice 😏 🧃

Making Brick doing everything Blossom does but better. Hate it, ok like I already said Blossom is so cultured and good at school because she works hard for it and likes studying😤, of course Brick would be as smart and cunning as her but making him out of the blue a genius that gets just as good or even better grades as her and also be so cultured too while being nonchalant about it is a huge NOPE for me🙄🙄, I accept something like Blossom roasting him because of his grades at school and he getting pissed starts to study to get better grades just to get back at her (making her be impressed, but pissed) 😂😂but I need to see the effort and the reason of motivation!😤 Because I don't see him liking studying and I won't take a genius that achieves that just because. The thing they could have in common I could believe are comics and playing guitar, let brick get turned on with her guitar skills please. 😆

Brick having a breakdown and crying. Love it, normally this guy is always the grumpiest or coldest or the most jerk jackass asshole in fanfics so when he actually has emotions and he displays them, and cries is just so satisfying... Love it. 🫶😃

Blossom being always the one sacrificing herself. Hate it, i see this way too often, writers tend to do it because she is the leader and because she is seen as the big sister (that's another one I hate, they popped to life at the same time there's no big or little sister😤) but I'd like to see the other sisters doing the sacrifice and see how it affects Blossom more often, give leader girl a break.

Blossom's sisters seemly being psychological unable to disobey her orders as if she was indisputable and if they disobey is seen as a terrible or stupid thing to do always. Hate it, sorry but that situation fits better with the RRB given Brick's intimidating nature, Blossom leads hers sisters and can get bossy but her sisters will never obey her if they don't agree with her,💪 they won't blindly do whatever she asks always and she doesn't have the right to forbid things to them, no like they will listen just because.😌 Remember the sisters aren't afraid to call her out, their relationship has a more love and trust nature, with the boys is ok because they probably think family love and trust is for sissies. 🤐

One of the girls being the most popular girl in school without a understandable justification. Hate it, in general I don't like when is only ONE of them because the three girls (aside being literal superheros) have enough traits to have their own individual fans but more importantly I need popularity to have a proper believable reason🧐. For example, PPGZ Bubbles isn't at all what I expected for an anime Bubbles but her popularity with boys at school was at least believable🤔, she was a lady like elegant girl, really kind and friendly with everyone, cheerful and that cares a lot about her appearance and that's exactly what you see in the show, for how simple the anime was you could see that she wasn't popular just because "cute". In contrast there is a fanfic Blossom is said to be top most popular girl in the school and the reasoning is: "she is so hot and has good legs"😬 because she dances (there's like an obsession about her legs) but then she has a really repellent insufferable entitled personality 🤬and is not really nice... I mean she is cold polite but not nice nice ☹️☹️(she is even cold and a bit thoughtless with her sisters in general) and apparently doesn't care too much about her appearance, mostly only worries about showing skin...🙄🙄 Someone like that is the most popular girl? I just don't believe that popularity statement. (By the way, I found weird that she was the only puff with good legs when the other sisters also do activities that can get you nice legs too, like being a cheerleader or playing every fucking school sport, so Buttercup's body is all cut and toned everywhere except her legs? Yeah I know I'm being a picky bitch🤐 about this but you get what I mean?)

Blossom being a funny drama queen. Love it, ohhh I love it,😆😆 she often overreacts over not big deals in the show, so seeing her being dramatic because she didn't get a A+ on every subject, or because she lost her favorite bow, or because she laughed so hard drinking a smoothie the drink came out of her nose🤣🤣 and then suddenly is the end of the world is just the best👌. I mean the other sisters are dramatic as well over silly things too but I think Blossom is funnier. But careful because depending of how is written it can backfire and she could become too victimist. 🙅‍♀️

Blossom and Bubbles being sassy bitches (the funny kind). Love it, usually is Buttercup the one who gets to give more comebacks and picks up a fight first and also play pranks but the other two usually have good behavior but then there's those precious moments when they are mischievous and get sassy and savage 😂😂 (remember in the show how Blossom messed with Brick in the boys are back in town? 🤣🤣 or there were moments where Bubbles innocently roasted Buttercup 😂?)

One of the RRB or the PPG overdoing the fight and getting all bloody and banged up and the other worried sick. Love it, oh boy I'm addicted to this kind of thing 👌👌 the bloodiest the better, I think the best one I read was one with the greens that ended with them sleeping together in a stretcher in the professor's lab😫😫😫😭 I'm dying! 💘

CPR situations. Love it or hate it depending of how is written, whether is drama or comedy.

Sick day plot. Love it, just like when they get injured, viruses and fevers are also welcome!😆👌 I prefer the boys getting sick over the girls because boys tend to act like soft big babies 🥺and crave attention and comfort🥰 (sometimes without noticing they are doing that and getting embarrassed later...), I'm so weak for this.

Beach or lake or swimming pool plot. Love it, classic anime episode that is always horny comedy. 😎👙

Bunny being alive. Not completely hate it but is just not my cup of tea, Bunny's existence is one of the few angst things I can take and I do love fics where she is mentioned or where she appears as a ghost or spirit... Those are tears I don't mind shed. 😢😢

Mayor character death. Ok, I'm not going to say I hate it... But most of the time I can't take it, like I become irrational and wish for a deux ex Machina🙃 so the dead character is resurrected... I once read two angst fics, in one brick slowly dies from a cancer and in the other buttercup is dead and butch is mourning her in a extremely mentally painful way for me...🥲🥲 I regret so much reading that, it completely destroyed me. Normally is only if is one of the RRB or the PPG that I can't endure it.🥲🥲😭😭

Sex. Love it or hate it depending completely on the writer skills on this matter. 😏

Princess Morebucks being obsessed with Brick. Hate it, like... I know she thought of them as cool and wanted to join forces but I think after how they treat her she must have a forever super grudge against them😬😬, and she probably looks down on men, being crazy about one of the dudes who belittled you and also get to have superpowers you want and don't have is not believable to me🙅‍♀️, I mean they hurt Princess pride and ego, she is not going to put that behind to pursue Brick, besides is a kind of plot drama that usually is only pointless and annoying soooo... Nope.

The girls being affectionate with each other. Love it, the warm wholesome sisterhood moments are beautiful let's see😫👌🥰, Bubbles sleeping in Blossoms lap, Buttercup accepting Bubbles affection after she did something for her, Blossom crying in Bubbles arms, Buttercup hugging Blossom from behind while she is having a breakdown and one of my favorites was the one that they are teens and sleep in separated beds but because Blossom had trouble sleeping Bubbles joined their beds and later Buttercup joins too! So beautiful! 😫😫👏👏👏

The Ruffs being friends with the Puffs that aren't their love interests. Love it, because they can have interesting relationships, honestly Brick and Bubbles is an underrated friendship, I'll love if she was able to terrify him to defend her sister and boyfriend 🤣🤣👌👌. Butch could ask Bubbles for love advice, Boomer could ask Blossom for help with Homework... Stuff like that 😁.

Girl... That's a lot of text between statements... I'm so sorry 😅😅 who knows if I'll think of more things and make a part two... 😅😅🙃

[castlebyersafterdark]

ok this is so cool youre a gay man! so what would you say needs work most in spicy byler fic land, speaking as a writer who aims for realism...

less reliance on the classic 1-finger-2-fingers-scissor-anal penetration trope... that is too cliche and doesnt account for how difficult anal sex can be?

or is it the emotion? does it read as too much being written by female in terms of the emotional attachment or worldview?

and lastly i keep hoping for a t!will fic where he is transitioning from male to female cos i've never seen it and think it could be such a nice thing in regards to sex organs and roleplay!

(This ended up more general fanfic thoughts, not solely unique to this fandom. But certain things definitely apply.) Under the cut cause I'm bored at work and I rambled:

It's all about the details? Sometimes things read a bit formulaic, like you mentioned. Like fics are running down a checklist because a lot of other fics in every single fandom do the same, so everyone just copies each other. It's fanfic sex. Sex isn't very often... like that. It can be, but ehhh. Depends on what's being written. Is this a hookup? Established sex between a couple in love? First time between an inexperienced young gay couple w few resources? Based on the scenario, things can sound off. Like, the classic 'according to the story, they've only made out w each other before and now they're going right into anal?' Oh this isn't it. I just find a lot of the time the better depictions consider foreplay foreplay foreplay, and not follow that kiss 123 finger then fuck formula, falling into that as a crutch instead of writing something more out of "order." (lol even 3 is a little unnecessary wasting time mentioning if you fuck a lot or write good foreplay or this couple is very comfortable w each other. Consider: the body knows what it wants or doesn't want yet. Relaxation/arousal. It just reads sometimes like, well that's the next step, right? Repetitive.) OR maybe the character is nervous/not relaxed and the preparation process is difficult, that's soooo interesting to write scenes working through that, but I find that kinda rarely depicted because maybe writers don't think it's sexy? It can be, pleeeaase. That's accurate and realistic, too. Do these characters like each other, are they into each other? Actually turn them on! Switch it up, what is happening to the body.

You know know that scene in Friends where Monica is listing off numbers as locations on the body and to vary the order attention is given to each?? That's great, love that no matter the gender haha. And what exactly are the fingers doing in there, sometimes I read stuff and it's like, the ass or the hand does not work like that - just massage and thrust and and find the prostate hahaha. And don't skip the lube or era appropriate substance esp for inexperienced characters! Since a lot of this specific pairing focuses on the early relationship stages. "Just use spit" honey NO he's seventeen and nervous and he's gonna hate that. They're not isolated in the woods or fucking a stranger in a club bathroom (maybe they are, but most of the time they're just in a bed or a couch haha) And that's just a different situation. The scenario honestly just has to make sense and the details all kinda make the story what it is. It's mismatched vibes that throw something off more than any sex act in particular. (these virgins immediately falling into strict dom/sub roles, calling each other degrading names or ill-depicted bdsm right from the beginning of their relationship - has the writer only watched a certain type of porn for reference? Do they think all gay sex is inherently kinky in that specific way?)

I also find that a lot of people in general are uncomfortable writing/depicting rimming so its omitted entirely where in the progression of the scene it would make sense (and I've seen writers across fandoms talking about specifically not wanting to write it) and I guess I get it to an extent, but you're reading/writing gay characters, it's important! Bypass the taboo. It ain't. 😝 Sometimes more helpful than just fingers, to be honest. Strictly focusing on penetration isn't the be all end all goal or only way to write men fucking. (Or women and men or any combo to be quite honest)

I also also find just things that seem kinda silly to me especially when writing young guys - this mostly happens when I'm reading a sfw fic that juuuuust almost goes there but stops before dicks get involved. And I find it really funny because clearly the author doesn't want them to be but based on what I just read - they already are involved, you're just uncomfortable mentioning it for some reason even though you've chosen to ship gay men. It's totally ok to not want to write smut but there's definitely a 'read between the lines' vibe I get sometimes where I can tell the author NEEDS you to know 'hey! Reminder I'm one of the good ones NOT thinking about these characters actually having sex!!' Hmmm. "We should stop before we get carried away" and it's like ok cool but they're already totally hard based on what was previously written. You could have just not mentioned anything but the way things are written sometimes it feels like a fic is inserting a flashing sign at a certain point saying 'STOP! DO NOT THINK ABOUT SEX IN THIS FIC!'

They're teenagers (and I know everyone is different blah blah), and I guess I see a lot of times an unrealistic time frame over the progression of a physical relationship. I think sometimes people want to avoid having characters 'rush into it' and make them wait and maybe the story is playing with themes of repression/unlearning shame, which in this fandom definitely can be an engaging theme, but I read stuff and just feel... these boys wouldn't be waiting as long as implied to actually get physically intimate. There's no way. Hormones and how much they're into each other, its happening. Embrace that. Teenage or young adult guys. Be honest.

Idk there's a million ways to depict sex and I'd honestly worry less about the mechanics of what everyone else does and just... let the story and ideas take you there. Even as someone with a lot of uhhhhh practical experience haha I'll read back my own writing like, ok who fucks like this though? LOL. And it's fine. Fanfic does lend itself to having a fantasy lens, its not always hyper realistic, and i don't think it really needs to be one hundred percent meticulous. Translating actions and feelings and sensations into prose can be soooo awkward to word and strange to describe. If you had fun being creative the writing shows instead of 'well I guess I'm writing a sex scene and I'm embarrassed about it so I'll just copy what everyone does' nahhh. Have fun, get things wrong, get weird with it. The oddest little detail changes and adds a lot. 😘

[cinemaocd]

Jenny's ongoing list of films watched 2024

January

RRR (2023)*

Peter's Friends (1992)*

The Lady Eve (1941)

How to Get a Head in Advertising (1988)*

High Fidelity (2000)

Frieda (1947)*

Oh...Rosalinda! (1955)

The Quick and the Dead (1995)*

The Barefoot Contessa (1954)*

The Life and Death of Col. Blimp (1943) Commentary Track (2012)*

Rhubarb (1951)*

The Birds (1963)*

House of Yes (1997)*

Cassandra Cat (1963)*

Foreign Correspondent (1940)

The Long Goodbye (1973)

Night of the Comet (1984)

The Day the Earth Caught Fire (1961)*

For Me and My Gal (1942)*

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

The Small, Back Room (1949)

House of Games (1987)

Water (1985)*

The Ballad of John and Yoko (2023)*

The Meaning of Life (1983)

Track 29 (1988)*

*New to me

Thoughts on the New to Me films:

New Year's Eve we watched RRR, a lot of fun, energetic, bright and action-packed. I enjoyed the way that little attention was given to the British characters. They were straight up villains in ill fitting ahistorical costumes, kind of like the way Indian/Asian characters are treated in Western films most of the time...$$$

New Year's Day we watched Peter's Friends, a drama/comedy from the early 90s starring all of the famous Cambridge Footlights. Big Chill-ish film set in a country house over the Christmas holidays. $$$

How to Get a Head in Advertising was weird and also really good. Had a similar vibe to Withnail and I (possibly because of Richard E. Grant, but also possibly the mixture of the surreal with the realistic). Quite stage-y in some ways but clever and savage in it's satire of life in the 80s. $$$

Frieda: Oh I loved this! Weird World War II melodrama about a German girl marrying a British boy and all the trouble it causes with his complex family situation. Such a stellar cast including the late, great Glynnis Johns. $$$$

The Quick and the Dead: I set my expectations quite low for this and was pleasantly surprised. I liked Sam Raimi's comic book-y take on gunfighters and esp. loved Sharon Stone's character. We love to see a female action hero with no love interest. A nice twist on the Man with no Name trope. Excellent cast as well with Russell Crowe, Gene Hackman, Roy Scheider and Woody Stroud in his final film. $$$

The Barefoot Contessa: Joseph Mankewitcz is one of the geniuses of old Hollywood but this ain't it, chief. Just kind of all of the place melodrama that makes no sense and relies too much on Ava Gardner looking amazing in technicolor in the South of France. A bit of a commentary on Grace Kelly who a few years earlier married minor royalty on the Riviera. Even Rossano Brazzi can't save this mess for me. $

Rhubarb: Two genres I usually kind of hate (family-friendly animal centered film, sports film) combined into one and it's actually a lot of fun. Ray Milland and a bunch of classic character actors as the baseball team (also Leonard Nemoy has a tiny part as a mobster) in this slight/ predictable romp. $$

The Birds: Woah, shit this was good. I should have known. Amazing tension created and Hitchcock just sells the surreal horror with lots of rear projection...so. much. rear. projection. $$$

House of Yes: How about House of NOPE. Ugh what a mess this was. Some good performances and intriguing story, but it was very stagey and I don't know why the 90s couldn't make a story about adult children and their parents without reducing everyone to cliches and stereotypes but this and Six Degrees of Separation are definitely guilty of that, but the latter is just a better film. $

Cassandra Cat: Takes a long time to get to the cat which given that this was a family film from the 60s might be a problem for some viewers, expecting a more cat-centric movie. Interesting riff on fairy tales from the Czech New Wave. Beautiful Demy-esque technicolor and settings make this 60s nonsense fly by. $$

The Day the Earth Caught Fire: 60s nuclear panic disaster film that really just shows the earth as it is now in the throws of global warming. Yikes. Thoughtfully written and well acted by a bunch of folks I'd never heard of. $$

For Me and My Gal: Directed by Busby Berkley and starring Gene Kelly and Judy Garland and set in the 1920s on the Vaudeville circuit, I was expecting a lot more fun, dancing, color, costumes etc. This is actually more of a black and white war time melodrama with some music shoved into it and the dancing is very rudimentary. (I think this is probably because Garland esp. at this stage wasn't in the same league with Gene Kelly and I think it would have been too noticable...). Filmed at the entry of America into WW2 this was quite a deliberate propaganda piece. $$

TLADOCB Commentary: I've watched this movie 20 times at least but the commentary really made me think about a bunch of things differently. Can't say I recommend unless you are fanatic though as it's obviously pieced together from interviews Michael Powell and Martin Scorcese $$

Water (1985): If you smoke the exact right strain of sativa and ignore some of the more dated aspects of this 80s comedy, that reads as if Local Hero were a Cheech and Chong film--this is a total classic. Irreverent Michael Caine just straight up breaking character the minute he turns into a guerilla fighter in the jungle and being far too competent and cool, and then snapping back to sweetly shy, inept British Civil Servant, finding he actually loves his hated backwater post (the invent Casara part Caribbean, part Devon Jurassic Coast) while having to actually do his job. Political satire and fully both barrels to Maggie Thatcher and Reagan. Good on em. Filmed in St. Lucia, the movie has a zany heart and little taste, hoovering up vast quantities of competent TV players from my youth: Herman Munster and Reginald Perrin to name but two. Awkward love story and some uneven acting from Valerie Perrin and Brenda Vaccaro. I enjoyed myself, heartily, anyway. $$$

The Ballad of John and Yoko: Technically a video essay with amazing production values (the licensing alone was epic) dragging together disparate topics around the central theme of women being blamed for bad things happening to infantalized male geniuses. Is it the most coherent argument? No. Does it absolutely tap into many unexpressed or implied ideas that have been floating around since me too? Absolutely. $$

Track 29: This was some of the worst casting I've ever seen in a film. When I think of Texas nurse who is into trains and spanking, I don't automatically think of comedian Sandra Bernhardt. When I think of an actress of that era who was old enough to play Gary Oldman's mother, I don't think of Theresa Russell who is the same age as Oldman and looked every bit as young as he did in the film. Maybe that was the point? I'm not sure. The story was weird, like a Southern Gothic melodrama/black comedy ala Flannery O'Connor, but there was something off about the whole thing.

[pikahlua]

I'm not the same anon but I feel like asking, did you always enjoy the relationship between Bakugou and Deku? I like Bakugou and I hated the relationship (still don't like it and I wanted to see Bakugou caring for Kaminari and Kirishima or even Uraraka instead, it would've been much more enjoyable to me), I don't think how Bakugou's benefiting from being one-dimensionally only focused on Deku. Hori's ruining him imho, even if Bakugou gets a powerup his potential is still wasted

One-dimensional and primary focus are not the same thing, anon. I wish you had given me a little more to go on here, because I don't understand what is being "ruined" about him or what "potential" of his is being wasted by your standards. I'm left with only the option of explaining what it is I get out of Katsuki and why that so deeply ties into his relationship with Izuku (regardless of shipping!) to give you an opportunity to point out where you and I are diverging in thought. This is the only way I can answer your question about whether or not I always enjoyed their relationship together.

So, you know, buckle up, kids. It’s time for...

What the Fuck Does Pika Even Like About Katsuki Bakugou and His Relationship with Izuku Midoriya?*

*this post is not an exhaustive list

Did I always like the BakuDeku dynamic? That’s a hard question to answer, because there’s a period of time in the first chapters/episodes of the story I would like to call “buffering.” It’s that time frame after I’m first introduced to the characters and still evaluating the story’s themes and coming to conclusions. I have to take some time to formulate my opinions before getting a grasp on where I think the story is going. I would say the proper timeline on my opinion forming looked something like this:

Beginning through Deku vs Kacchan Part 1:

This was pure buffering. I wasn’t fully invested but had committed to watching the show through the end of what was released (season 2 at the time). As something of a shounen veteran, I recognized a lot of familiar tropes but also noted how they were being played around with, I just didn’t have an idea of what that meant yet. Katsuki Bakugou at this time represented to me my LEAST FAVORITE shounen trope (the stubborn lancer rival character), so I didn’t have high expectations. I related a lot to Izuku Midoriya, but as we got into the childhood backstory of these two, I did uncannily relate to both Izuku and Katsuki as children, and so I was most captivated by Horikoshi’s depiction of that part of their relationship.

Katsuki’s Starting Line:

This was the first episode that took me completely off-guard. Katsuki’s speech at the end demonstrating the logical conclusions he comes to in order to achieve his biggest dream is something that still shakes me to this day. Why? Because it’s the first time I’ve seen a character like this learn his lesson so quickly AND maintain that character development in the story without any regression. All his actions following this speech make perfect sense with respect to his goal. This is the point where I began forming my initial hypotheses about the story and its characters to use as a lens for the rest of the show.

USJ arc, Sports Festival, and Internships:

With my new lens, I engaged in a lot of focused observation and information collection during these arcs. I particularly noted how Katsuki’s words often did not match his actions. The first instance of this I consciously remember is how Kirishima interprets Katsuki’s attitude at the USJ to be one where he trusts their classmates to take care of themselves. From there on, I was dedicated to wrapping my head around Katsuki Bakugou’s character.

I also explicitly noticed how the narrative was rewarding Izuku for imitating Katsuki, so I kept an eye out for moments like these going forward. This was probably the most intriguing aspect of the show to me at the time as I wasn’t yet sure why the narrative was doing this.

Final Exam Arc:

This was the epiphany arc. Katsuki Bakugou Origin is probably my favorite episode of the whole show. Because of my previous lenses and hypotheses I was using, I was able to understand this episode’s implications in full the first time watching it. Before the episode had even ended, my brain came up with the prediction that at some point Izuku was likely to give One For All to Katsuki (Heroes Rising was a wild ride, let me tell you). I can say with confidence that I was consciously enjoying Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship from this point on.

Little manga-only tidbits:

With season 2 finished, I went to the manga and discovered the manga-only scenes where Katsuki tells Izuku he should have killed Shigaraki at the mall and where Ochako tells Katsuki she thinks he’s afraid of Izuku and she wants them to be friends again. Those cinched it for me that yeah, Katsuki fucking cares and he’s just hiding it or unable to express it clearly. A+ 10/10 would tsundere again. (Yes, I’m aware he’s not a straight-on tsundere trope character, I'm just using the term for convenience.)

Summer Training Camp and Kamino:

OH MY HEART. I loved all the kids at this point, but Katsuki Bakugou rose so high in my esteem from this part of the story.

License Exam and Deku vs Kacchan Part 2:

100% sold!! Katsuki Bakugou is king and all other characters shall grovel before his supremacy!

Overhaul Arc:

Long and boring as fuck (it played better in the anime, at least). Sorry, but I don’t need another shounen story about a kid learning how to beat bad guys in a fight. Like, I get it, it works with the structure of the story where Izuku is learning to win while Katsuki is learning to save, but it was LOOOOOOONG and pretty tedious without Katsuki hanging around. I became more of a casual fan at this point.

Remedial Course:

Final confirmation that if Katsuki Bakugou isn’t in-frame the story is probably boring. I fucking love this mini arc.

School Cultural Festival:

Vastly underrated arc. Wait, are you telling me Katsuki Bakugou’s character development has been happening subtly in the background of every arc and keeping this whole story together? Holy shit, time to reread the whole manga!

Joint Training Arc through Christmas:

Absolutely zero character development happens for Katsuki in this arc, and if that’s a surprise to you, let me explain. I predicted 100% of everything that happens in this arc and confirmed to myself I’m absolutely keyed into Katsuki Bakugou’s character progression. It all comes down to DvK2. Katsuki challenged Izuku to beat him someday. Katsuki also represents victory to the whole class, and he has consistently demonstrated a desire to grow and succeeds each time he tries. With All Might’s advice to him at DvK2, it was very obvious Katsuki would kill it in the JTA. Katsuki always wins, so the next stage of growth would be to win while saving people (his team). That just makes the most sense with the story. And Izuku, if he truly has been working hard and growing since DvK2, has to meet Katsuki’s challenge--which means he has to win his match. Anything less and their characters would both have regressed.

My Villain Academia:

Neat concept, boring execution (there, I said it).

Endeavor Agency Arc:

Finally the story’s getting back to what makes it great! (aka Katsuki introspection and personal growth into a hero who saves.)

Paranormal Liberation War:

“All my predictions are starting to come true and I don’t know how to handle it.” In particular, my early hypothesis that Katsuki, in his journey to become a hero who saves, would have to save Izuku--and potentially fail at it, because he’s still got a lot to learn and room to grow, and failure would demonstrate that.

In other words, I got sucked back into the fandom from this point, and everything became about Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship as the rest of the story revolved around it.

So why is the dynamic between Izuku and Katsuki so important to the story for me?

Well, first I have to start with the major theme I think the story explores. To me, the best stories center around a question and then explore it from multiple angles. Whether or not the story offers a conclusive answer to that question is irrelevant (although usually such a conclusive answer feels preachy, reductive, and often detracts from the story). With that in mind, I think the question My Hero Academia explores is:

What is a hero?

The setting is integral to exploring this question, because instead of a story about a hero in a society of normies, the story is about a normie in a society of heroes. The hero society, at first, seems to have this question all sorted out. But as the story progresses, we learn that the superhero society has thought the least about this question, and we see the seams slowly tear apart with time. A society that demands heroes also demands villains for those heroes to face, and so the society assigns the “villain” role to people based on arbitrary factors in order to meet the hero demand.

And the lens through which this society is scrutinized is in two young boys who by all means SHOULD have been great friends but were torn apart by the expectations of their society. As Izuku and Katsuki grow up and navigate this corrupted world, their heroic spirits guide them to their own answers of what true heroism is. Their noble hearts cleave apart the obfuscations of their society and lead them back to each other. It’s a slow burn because they have so much wool placed over their eyes to clear away little by little. The fact that they restore their friendship is a testament to what great heroes they are. And each time they learn a new lesson or achieve some heroic epiphany, they put a piece of their friendship back together.

So to say something like the focus on Katsuki’s relationship with Izuku ruins his character or wastes his potential feels extremely backwards to me. The opposite--a story where Katsuki does NOT focus on or have those interactions with Izuku--would utterly miss the mark and fail to explore the themes of the story. Sure, it’s fun to watch Katsuki interact with other characters, and that sort of “filler” is the detail that helps give a story style. But to remove the interaction with Izuku would be to remove the foundation of the story itself. Katsuki’s growth as a character and a hero uses Izuku’s growth as a jumping off point all the time, and it’s not bad writing to do so (I would argue that’s exactly how Izuku as a main character often holds the story together, by allowing the other characters to learn from and contrast with him). It’s not taking anything away from Katsuki if Izuku is intricately tied into the epiphanies he has. Everything he learns and does and fights for is still just as heroic. I want him to interact with (or just internally consider) Izuku because I know that’s where he’ll achieve the most growth--and that’s where I’ll find the most to chew on. I like all his other interactions as well, but my primary goal is to analyze the story and characters. Literary analysis butters my toast and brings me joy. I want to see how far Katsuki as a character goes, and Izuku owes him a long toss through the air to the finish line.

[kitkatt0430]

Thoughts on Passengers (2016)? I personally loved it. Chris Pratt is problematic though.

I think I'd have liked it better if Aurora hadn't forgiven Jim. I get why she did - she accepted that she was stuck with this guy and had to make the best of it. On some level she did a cost benefit analysis for what her future was going to look like and decided that it'd suck less if she let go of her rightful anger and resentment towards him and made the best of things.

Considering who she was at the start of the film was the sort of person who abandoned her life and her loved ones for a year of colony experience and a novel that wouldn't be written for over 400 years, I do see where Aurora ends the movie as character growth. She's learned to live her life as it is instead of abandoning what she has for what might be.

Jim, though... it's hard to see him sympathetically to be honest. There's a lot of things he could have done differently and should have done differently before resorting to waking up a fellow passenger for company. And it's hard not to view his decision to wake up Aurora as particularly creepy given that he basically forms something of a para-social relationship with her before deciding to wake her up in hopes that they'd form a real relationship. He very much fits the 'predatory nice guy' trope that, having encountered enough 'nice guys' who stopped being interested in being my friend when they realized that a romantic relationship 'upgrade' was never gonna be on the table... I find that kind of character hard to enjoy.

That said, I do think he genuinely came to like Aurora for herself and not for the idea of her he built up in his head before waking her. And the situation he was in at the start of movie was genuinely unfair to him so I can understand why he made a bad decision out of desperation from his isolation - there is a reason solitary confinement is legally considered a form of psychological torture. So I don't hate that she forgives him or anything like that. I'd have just found it more interesting personally if she hadn't forgiven him.

Honestly, I do think it's well acted. It fits well into both of the main actor's wheelhouses. They're both good with science fiction plots, they had better onscreen chemistry than I expected, and the overall plot falling out the way it did made a great deal of sense to me. Most of the plot holes I've seen people complain about are down to the same kind of human hubris that led to real world events like the sinking of the Titanic and programming/mechanical errors from a very real world tendency to push code and hardware into production before they've been fully tested.

I've only watched the movie once back when it first came out on dvd (I think I rented it? or someone rented it anyway, might have watched it with my mom for a girl's day) so I don't remember it super strongly and I did wind up refreshing my memory by looking up a plot recap. I do remember that I did overall enjoy it - I'd certainly watch it again (though it's low on the re-watch priority list). But I think that's in part because it pings my love of science fiction and my enjoyment of certain flavors of psychological horror (I'd have probably enjoyed it more if it played more deliberately into that particular interpretation of the story) than because I found it to be a good romance movie. In fairness, I'm aromantic and so a lot of romance tropes are unrelatable to me; if I'm going to enjoy those tropes then I need them to hit differently than a lot of professional romance writers (of books or film) write them.

I do remember it having trailers that pushed the 'both of them woke up accidentally' angle which made me super not interested in watching it in theaters. The actual plot line turned out to be a whole lot more interesting and enjoyable for having Aurora's waking not being an accident. And Jim's arguably not being accidental either, but a case of programming errors in the ship's AI. It's one I'd likely recommend if asked and would enjoy re-watching with a friend.

As for Chris Pratt (he who lives up to his last name), he's definitely played into why I haven't re-watched the movie since what was probably 2017 (pre-pandemic years melting together effect). I've kind of reached the point where when a new movie is announced that I'd usually want to watch, him being in it is almost guaranteed to immediately kill that interest (such as the Mario movie). Which has had the unfortunate knock on effect of making me less likely to rewatch movies I have previously watched and really do enjoy... but have him in it.

[codylabs]

now presenting in no particular order

Science Fiction stories that have affected my own work very greatly

1. Star Wars

I mean, this is an obvious one. Much of America grew up on these six, because everybody's dad loved them, to the point where meeting somebody who's "never seen star wars" is an oddity, and, well, neither me or my dad are exceptions. They're good movies, with good lore, good plots, strong characters, writing and dialogue that's all across the spectrum, and exceptional action scenes. What's there more to say?

They're very much your "bread and butter" scifi, in the sense that it sets its stories within a world of cool-looking spaceships, quirky robots and wacky aliens, but doesn't examine or elaborate on much of it, but rather treats it all as a given, as a backdrop for the human stories. (Contrast against, say, Star Trek, which makes the scifi concepts themselves its focusing interest.) As a result, there's nothing terribly revolutionary to be found in Star Wars. I can't and won't call it generic, of course, because although it very much is a 'generic scifi world', many of the tropes we associate with 'generic scifi worlds' were codified here, and there's a lot going on behind the scenes, both on the political side, in the extended universe, and in ol' Georgie's brain.

And to call them creatively bankrupt would be a big enough lie to warrant legal repercussions, since there are a LOT of cool scifi ideas here, even if they aren't necessarily the story's focus. Repulsorlifts, Coruscant (I spelled that right first try), Podracing, the Sarlaac pit, Droidekas, the Death Star, cloud city, the VERY sufficient excuses for using swords in scifi, the list goes on.

In terms of how the franchise affected my work, I really couldn't give an estimate. I love space, and spaceships, and space battles, and have them often enough. Many of my stories focus on the human aspects, I seek out excuses for melee fights, I like generic goodguy-y heroes and I like strong personalities, but whether any of that comes from Star Wars or is a part of me, I couldn't say. Maybe there's no difference. I saw them as a youngling, so very long ago.

2. Republic Commando

Now I read these when I wasn't quite so young. These are good books, and they are very much Star Wars disillusioned. This is Star Wars separated from the main cast and the main plot or the black-and-white morality of simple stories. This is a squad of elite child soldiers suffering through the trenches of a war, getting hurt, going rogue, falling in love, shooting people in the head, while the adpoted father who trainedraised them tries to arrange an escape for his boys to a new home far away, until it all comes crashing down when you the reader knew it would but nobody in galaxy did, in Order 66. And then the series keeps going. It should have gone on longer but the Clone Wars TV show changed canon so much that the author quit. But you can tell it's still Star Wars because they mention Kenobi like twice and there is one (1) scene with Darth Vader.

In terms of scifi they're just Star Wars again, speeders and space battles and laser guns and stuff. Stories unconcerned with the concepts and the worldbuilding. But I think it goes a step beyond what the movies did, by abandoning any semblance of big-picture-ness or any of the large-scale plot, and focusing only on bit characters, while the larger story from the movies continues elsewhere. The series is ALL OCs. There is nobody here who would warrant a mention in any of the movies, and nobody here who influences galactic history. They influence each other. They love each other, hate each other. They feel real. The war feels real. And I think that's beautiful.

I think that smallness and ruggedness is what lasted into my work. I've never worldbuild-ed the names or histories of wars into my works, but I've liked writing about career soldiers struggling with peace. I've never made diagrams or specs for the weapons that they use, but I've written about the heat of a shell just ejected from a launcher. I've never written strategies for fleet movements, but I've written about spacers scrambling past a closing pressure door as the air leaks out of their room. And I've written about lesser species caught in the crossfire, I've written about jungles and dirty streets, and much of it ties back to this, I think.

3. Starship Troopers

This may very well be the first 'adult' book I ever read, and you should read it too. It was written in the 50s. It's about people in power armor who get dropped out of a spaceship. It's about a man rising through the ranks, learning the meaning of responsibility and leadership. It's about war, how 2 tons of flying robosuit can't save you but your friends and a timely dropship can. It's about duty, mankind become a warrior race to defend themselves in a savage galaxy. It's about honor and discipline. This story invented the concept of power armor, coined the term 'starship', inspired a dozen franchises. It forces the characters and the reader to think about the nature of war, the necessity of sacrifice and duty, the price of security, the nature of freedom, the shortcomings of democracy.

You should read it. It's peak scifi. It's exciting. It's thought-provoking. It's imaginative. It's incredibly, noxiously fascist. It's so so good. You should read it.

I've always loved power armor and jet packs and alien bugs, my stories have them all, and it's this book's fault. Certainly a lot of my really early work was based on it, but I never outgrew a good bug or a good robosuit.

I have never seen the movies, but there was a 1999 TV show that had the Worst CGI ever, and my brothers and I used to love it. However, no adaptation of this book has ever gotten the power armor right except the 1988 anime.

4. Blame!

Too many millennia ago to count, the automated construction drones stopped listening to orders to stop. The Earth, the moon, every piece of matter in the solar system and who knows how far beyond, have been disassembled, all proceeds going to grow the City. The City is all. The City has no end. The characters do not know the meaning of 'land'. The security system of the godlike internet is spawning exterminator drones to destroy all humans who lack the net terminal gene. Clutish transhumans who thrive in the chaos have made it their duty to render the gene extinct. The only hope of stopping the City's growth and shutting down the security system is to issue the internet an order, which requires a human with the gene. The gene may be extinct. Our main character, an immortal cyborg who has been climbing stares for hundreds of panels and thousands of years, is still searching. He has a really cool gun. His girlfriend is an 8ft tall hacker girl who does not have a cool gun and dies like 5 times. His arch-nemiss has a cool gun too. There are... Monsters.

I didn't read this comic until much later in my life, but the setting and the art and the ultra-high-concept action affected me deeply and greatly. If I could, in my entire life, write a single story even 20% as cool, as wonderfully illustrated, as packed with thought and concepts and sheer unbridled IMAGINATION as this one, I would die of pride. This comic is an endlessly-inspiring emblem of what scifi storytelling can be, an ideal I've been striving for since I first read it. If you ever see a massive maze-like spaceship in my works, any abandoned megastructure, any messily-detailed cyborg torso, any unreasonably-powerful weapon, and most of all any BIG OL' HONKIN GANGLE OF PIPES, (and I guaratee if you follow me you WILL see such things) know that it came from this comic.

5. Flatland

Okay, so this one is the reason I actually started this list. Apparently something in the Book of Bill that just came out was based pretty heavily on it, so now a bunch of people are rediscovering it and referencing it in the year of our Lord 2024. But that led to me rewatching the 2007 film, and realizing some of my work has taken from it pretty heavily.

The idea of the book (and its various adaptations) is that there's this oppressive, closed-minded society of 2-dimensional beings living on flatland. One day a circle comes to visit from spaceland, and shows our square protaganist all the wonders of a higher world beyond the one he can see. At its heart, the story is (A) about the dangers of closed-mindedness against possible higher truths, (B) an exploration into how 2-dimensional creatures would function and how higher-dimensional beings might interact or fail to interact with those of lower dimensionality (C) honestly not really scifi at all but I left it on this list because I've used some of its concepts here and there in my universe, and I find it all so very fascinating. If you see any of my characters navigating a 5-dimensional hyperspace or see any creatures evolved to inhabit the surface of a neutron star, know that the unlikely father of such ideas was this story from 1884.

6. Metroid

Well duh. Many of my followers probably know me as The Metroid Guy. Heck I know me as the Metroid guy.

I am the Metroid guy.

Metroid is about this lady in a suit of tank armor wandering around on lonely alien planets filled with monsters. She's a genetically-altered cyborg who was raised by an ancient society of aliens. The environments in Metroid are sometimes harsh, sometimes serene, sometimes ugly, sometimes beautiful, sometimes all at once. The music is captivating. In the first-person games you can see the rain making drips on your visor. When you stop moving she rests her hand on her gun as if relaxing. Nothing in the scary universe scares her, thus, neither does it scare you the player. The games do an excellent job of immersing the players in a faraway land.

I adore this series not for the scifi concepts (as many of them are either half-thought-out nonsense, made purely to look pretty, or derived straight from whatever videogamey gimmick the developers thought would be easy to implement) but for the feelings of confidence, wonder, exploration, and lonely peace. I have several future projects inspired by these parts of Metroid, and they are very dear to me.

In my studied opinion, if Samus was the protaganist of Blame, we would see a marked increase in the number of audience members dying from Peak Fiction.

7. Alien

Long-headed monkey made of pipes is having a Grand Olde Time on this rusty spaceship, what an insane concept 10/10 I wish I was made of pipes.

My dad told me the plot of this movie when i was like 8 and traumatized me, as he should. If in my stories you ever see any rusty spaceships, folks made of pipes, or involuntary pregnancies in the wrong part of the torso, blame my dad.

[lesbiansanemi]

I know you said you will spare everyone from your essays, but I kind of want to read them (specifically the demon slayer ships that are popular [giyuushino,obamitsu,zenezu,tankana, etc])

Obviously, you don't have to write the essays, but if you were to write them, I would be the first one to read /nf

☀️🌻

Oh yeah! Sure! I'll take any excuse to get up on my soap box lmao

I want to preface this, as the ships you've specifically listed are popular m/f pairings among the fandom, and three of which are actually canon, that I am very picky with m/f ships. I don't dislike them by virtue of being m/f, but it does take an extremely interesting dynamic to get me to like them, and for them not to feel like people are just smashing the characters together because they're a guy and a girl and they should be together literally just because... they're a guy and a girl.

I'll start with Obamitsu and Tankana as I'm a lot less critical of them than Zennezu and Giyuushino

To be honest, I don't actually dislike Obamitsu. I just... don't really care about it, and I find that most people who ship it don't seem to care about any of the more interesting or nuanced aspects of it. They get boiled down to "mean angry man is only soft for his sweet bubbly gf" which is... not a trope I'm super fond of. I think there's a lot of interesting aspects to explore with the ship, like the angle of Mitsuri initially wanting a stereotypical masculine man to take care of her and provide for her, eventually falling in love with a physically smaller and weaker man who doesn't know how to function in society at large, leaving her the much more "competent" of the two, forcing her to examine gender roles and her own internalized sexism as well as her supposed preferences. There's also Obanai's fear and trauma regarding women, and the fact that Mitsuri is about as stereotypically feminine as you can get. I think these are somewhat interesting things to explore, but most people (and the manga itself) never explored these things and wanted to paint them as a very straight forward cutesy (and tragic, but only in the sense that they both die young) romance like "look! Obanai can be nice and soft sometimes! And Mitsuri fell in love like she wanted!" with nothing else. The relationship makes sense to me, writing wise and why people would enjoy it, but ultimately does not do enough to make me genuinely care about it beyond going "yeah it's okay I guess." All this being said, it becomes a lot more fascinating if you add the angle of transfem Obanai, or add Shinobu for Obashinomitsu, but obviously this is not canon nor what ppl want or expect with the ship at large

Tankana is kind of similar in the sense that I just find it really boring. Kanao is a very layered and fascinating character to me. Given her childhood and trauma, I get why she would latch onto Tanjiro and admire him in the way that she did. She was a character who never experienced kindness or even being treated as a human being until Shinobu and Kanae found her. To be honest, I think her relationship with the Kocho sisters is incredibly complicated, and immediately being entranced in the Corps lifestyle also affected her in an extreme way. To meet someone like Tanjiro, who is so unabashedly kind and genuine and immediately sees her as a person with agency (not that the Kocho sisters didn't do this, but that Kanao has had more time to adjust and process her trauma by the time she met Tanjiro so he's more... separate, in a way), like I said, it makes sense to me that she would latch onto him.

So it makes sense, and I don't hate that they became canon, but again, it's just a bit boring to me. I also personally think that Kanao and Nezuko's storylines and personalities compliment each other a lot more from a writing perspective, so I much prefer Nezukana. So yeah, it's a ship that makes some sense to me, I can understand why people like it, but I don't care about lol. And it does have a little bit of the "they get together because they're a boy and girl omg" angle, though it is a little less egregious than some.

And oh boy alright here we go

So Zennezu. The ship's only basis in Zenitsu's overplayed crush on Nezuko. I already don't like ships like that, where the whole thing is "one of the characters has a crush on the other for shallow, usually physical, reasons the entire series and the other character never acknowledges it/returns it until suddenly they do at the end of the series." Like, imo, that's one of the laziest ways to write a romance ever, and also just feels very unrealistic. Maybe that's the aroace in me, but "crushes" portrayed like that are just not realistic or compelling to me.

Beyond that, I think the ship kind of negates a lot of Zenitsu's character arc and development. He ended up in the situations he did because of his obsessions with women and wanting a wife, and a lot of him needing to learn to live and do things for himself, not because he wants the stereotypical image of a wife, and not letting his anxieties control him. Instead of getting that development, seeing him settle down with Nezuko at the end of the chapter feels... idk, out of place? Odd? I can't think of the right word, but just for a character development perspective it just doesn't make sense to me. Also. Nezuko deserves better lol

And for Giyuushino.... Yeah. The epitome of "guy and girl get together because they're a guy and girl and stood in the same frame so that means they're canon." (Because no seriously, I would be less bitchy about this ship if the shippers could acknowledge it has no canonical substance or backing but so many of them fully act like it's based in some kind of canon feelings or implications)

I just truly don't understand what is so entertaining about two characters who work together, who, conceivably, if they were ever going to even be friendly with each other, would have done it already. One of their few interactions is Shinobu telling Giyuu how much everyone hates him, and also Giyuu really never gives an indication whatsoever that he wanted to be close with Shinobu. He treated her the same as he treated all the other Hashira

Also Shinobu is a lesbian and anyone who disagrees just fundamentally don't understand her sorry not sorry she hates men

But yeah! That's the gist of it! Idk, I just tend to really dislike popular m/f ships as I hate the way ppl as a whole approach m/f shipping and the dynamics they go for for it. So much of it is "mean and/or emotionally stunted guy really likes girl and she fixes him and also we'll ignore a lot of the female character's nuances and flaws" but. You know.

[romaine2424]

Daily Blog July 3, 2023

Not feeling chatty today, too many errands and chores to do. At least I don't have to buy fireworks this year for the 4th of July. They were just outlawed last year where I live. Before that, we were all out in the street shooting of aerials and and lots of other things. Neighbors around the corner always put on quite the show. Had a few scary moments over the years. But it was all fun until the clean up!

What I'm reading:

Oh wow Everybody Hates a Tourist by anon for the @hd-wireless fest definitely earned it's right to open the fic portion of the fest. It created quite the atmosphere in Brighton were we find one Draco Malfoy living the gay Muggle scene for the last 8 years.

Summary:

On a stag do in sunny Brighton with the Gryffindor lads, the last person Harry expects to run into is Draco Malfoy. After a glimpse of Malfoy’s Muggle life in Britain’s gay capital, Harry’s curiosity gets the better of him and he finds himself returning to the seaside again and again, drawn to the city, drawn to this new version of Malfoy that Harry barely recognises from school. Meanwhile, Draco’s just trying to live his big and best queer life: working for the weekend, chasing hot men, getting lost in Brighton's nightlife, and making friends with the neighbourhood cats. Why does his former school rival and crush have to show up and spoil everything?

There was so much to enjoy about this fic given the summertime atmosphere and just hanging out in the pubs, having some smokes, and eating bits of this and that. Harry in this fic is going through some changes in his life but is still on solid ground physically and mentally. We think Draco is too, but there is a vulnerability there and, of course, Harry wants to fix it. One of my favorite things about this fic is Harry's innocence but also sense of adventure. Draco introducing him bit by bit to his lifestyle and the atmosphere of Brighton and Harry is wide-eyed but also enthusiastic. Very cute. Oh and asking for gossip about fellow classmates was a riot. Poor innocent Harry. :) A lovely feel-good fic with definite moments of seriousness. Read and definitely give MA some love with comments!

Everybody Hates a Tourist on AO3

Drarry Tumblr Fic/Art Resources

I know most of you are probably already following @thedrarrylibrarian, but not everyone goes to the home page of someone's Tumblr site. This is a must for @thedrarrylibrarian because there is so much packed into a few links. The first thing you should do is read the FAQ on the home page before you get started. Especially if you're looking for a type of fic. Some fic genres and tropes aren't covered. Also, if you're looking for a specific fic, this is not the place as noted. That is @lostdrarryfics, another great drarry fandom resource.

What is on here is a Card Catolog, which gives a plethora of subject matters to find fics under. Like Beach Reads, or Spy!Draco or Raising Teddy. And even better, they are being continually updated.

Also there is the Reference Section, which is extremely helpful. Here's a few examples: How to Tag your Fic, How to Gain Friends & Friends Writing Fanfic, and How to Write Fanfic Summaries!

The last category, I've mentioned before and that is Friends of the Library, which is a list with links to the collaborations with other writers/artists/reccers/friends, which includes The Happy Hour events.

And finally, you can always ask for a type of fic(s) to fulfill a certain want or need. :)

A lot of work has gone into the site. It's very easy to use, which I particularly am a fan of. So go play around and see what you can discover in the @thedrarrylibrarian!

Tomorrow is a holiday and I'm not sure I'll be making a post as we have some family plans. Hope everyone enjoys their week!

Rom

[liquidstar]

hey! i’d love to learn about re:zero! well, not learn exactly but i’m thinking of maybe getting into it so i dunno, i’d love to know what sorta stuff you enjoy about it and everything 🤧 also, same anon who sent you that ask about wanting to be mutuals! so, hello!

Omg hiiii anon! It’s nice to see you again! Please feel free to send asks or even message me any time ^_^ I’m sorry I took a while to get to this but I didn’t have time to type a lot earlier and  was on mobile… but i would SO love to talk about what i like about the series (and a little bit of what i dislike, its got its fair share of understandable turnoffs but ill get to that part later- ill make a little tw list too)

But first i totally wanna share what about it i find compelling and fun as a story. I’ll put it under a cut here so I don’t clog ppl’s dashes tho hehe. I wrote... A lot actually. Like a lot a lot. Sorry .-. You can just kind of skim it if you want I don't want to make you feel like you have to read this fucking novel I wrote lol but here it is

First of all i think what made me agree to watch the series despite my preconceptions of it as a typical isekai harem was that its actually a deconstruction of that genre. “Deconstruction” often gets misused in anime circles to just mean “a genre but with a dark twist” so at first i thought it might just be a typical isekai harem but slightly edgier… but no it actually is a proper deconstruction! It takes the typical tropes of its genre and breaks them down, exposing the issues with the genre and its viewers (i.e. nerdboys wanting escapism). 

The premise on it’s own is relatively simple, it’s about a boy who gets transported to a fantasy world and discovers that he has been given a power that lets him reset time every time he dies. It gets a bit more complex from there, there’s some really cool lore that makes the world feel like it existed before subaru came to it (many isekai cant do this). And the themes of the series are actually pretty dense, which is a LOT of fun for me and the main thing i like about it tbh. So im going to talk about each one of the major themes here (and try to keep it as spoiler-free as i can!)

Escapism

One of the most important themes of the series is fantasy vs reality. Subaru, as the main character, is set up exactly like the typical nerdboy getting an isekai powerfantasy harem, and he’s genre-aware at that. When he first gets transported to another world, he instantly picks up on what's happening, and he thinks its going to go a certain way for him. 

In fact, because of the media he’s consumed in his life, he thinks he’s ENTITLED to an isekai powerfantasy and feels robbed when things end up being much more grim. For the first few arcs he can come off as annoying, he’s trying very hard to act like his idea of a “main character” and he has a tendency to reduce the people around him to tropes. He projects his will onto them, he does what he thinks a hero would do regardless of what they say. In the 3rd arc he becomes borderline unlikable (intentionally so) after a fight with emilia, and the real turning point of him as a character is whether he chooses reality or fantasy in this arc. He could go back to escaping, or he could face whats real. 

After this point in the story he begins to truly develop more as a character too, seeing the people around him as PEOPLE makes him more complete as well, and on a meta level this is also where we start to get his real backstory and characterization outside of just being the “isekai guy.” It’s like the story is telling him that he earned it, but it doesn’t feel like a sudden shift. If anything it feels like everything else about him makes MORE sense in retrospect.

But one thing that was always made clear was that subaru hated himself. A lot. He was a shut-in loser with terrible depression and anxiety, he used to get panic attacks just at the idea of going to school. He preferred to escape in his bedroom and avoid it all, and although his parents loved him very very much, deep down, he always thought they should just hate him instead. He thinks everyone should just hate him instead, which is why he tries so hard. It can be cringy to watch, but knowing where this energy of his comes from as a character makes sense…

He never really learned how to deal with people, he’s selfish and entitled to what media promised him. In this sense the story is screaming at you that NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU USE THESE POWERFANTASIES TO ESCAPE, REAL LIFE PEOPLE WILL NOT TREAT YOU THIS WAY. THEY WILL HAVE THEIR OWN LIVES AND WILLS THAT YOU CANT CONTROL AND THEY DONT OWE YOU ANYTHING JUST BECAUSE YOURE NICE TO THEM!!

This theme is even moreso evident when it comes to the woman in subaru’s life so lets talk about…

Gender 

subaru’s habit of projecting his own desires onto other people makes him place the girls around him into obsequious roles, he objectifies them, treats them like tropes in a video game. The message that the story wants to convey is fairly obvious, that you can’t treat real life women the same way you treat your fictional characters. And that they don’t owe you anything just because you’re nice to them. This is partly what emilia and subaru’s aforementioned fight was about, and it’s important that she only accepts his love after he treats her like a human being. She doesn’t want special treatment or to be placed on a pedestal. This theme kind of went over a lot of nerdboys heads because they wanted to jerk off to rem, who actually presented the “fantasy” ideal- kind of ironic…

On the flip side too, subaru tries very very hard to fit into masculine ideals of heroism (often emulating his father who was an athlete). He thinks he has to be a certain way and act a certain way. Though once he breaks out of this shell he actually ends up being more… Just himself. He’s not afraid to let emilia be the hero, he even compliments her for being “manly” (which she doesnt take as an insult and they have a cute laugh about) and in the ln takes up dressing femininely as something he was afraid to do in earnest before- previously seeing it as a joke.

Whats also notable about emilia is that shes one of the five dragon priestesses thats running as a candidate in the royal selection- that might have just been word soup, but what it basically means is that she and four other girls are running to become ruler of the country. The title that they earn is actually KING of legunica, not queen. This serves as a nice contrast to the room emilia was locked in during her childhood, the princess room.

Its a fantasy story so archetypes like kings and princesses and knights are all present but its more so about what those archetypes represent. The knights are the heroes, that masculine ideal subaru wanted to live up to. He claims to be one without earning it, which gets him beat the hell up by a real knight, julius. Whos also an interesting character in this regard, he’s the “knight of knights” and puts a lot of pressure on himself chivalrous, and subaru is incredibly jealous. Though eventually they grow closer and idk they’re kinda… hm. Anyway there’s also reinhard, another knight who is so ridiculously overpowered that its a joke. Like, one of his powers is he’s blessed to never eat anything too salty. He IS the overpowered isekai protagonist that subaru wanted to be, but unlike julius, subaru kind of admires reinhard (they got off on a better foot). But reinhard himself… the truth is hes so very isolated and trapped, he grew up with a terrible family and because of his powers the kingdom pretty much owns him, he has no freedom. This aspiration is a leesh.  

Mean while other candidates are all interesting in their own ways and also all represent some different ideologies (incase youre wondering the emilia camp is. communism.) but the ones most relevant to the gender theme is probably the crusch camp because… actually its kind of a lot, not all of it depicted well, but not necessarily horribly either. The basic idea is that crusch and ferris are two characters who “swapped” gender performances, though the series may still posit that their actual identities are still their agab this isnt exactly that simple (especially in the ln) and i personally think its a case of a cis author not really knowing how trans people work. Crusch behaves in a more masculine role until their memories are wiped and suddenly starts to behave like a “regular girl”- this is meant to be strange and upsetting because its NOT CRUSCH so i actually think thats well done enough. Ferris is… well, not a character i want to speak as an authority on, i think they could have been handled better, but it could have also been worse. I do like that in the ln they directly dispute the notion that ferris “dresses like a girl” to attract/trick men, at least. 

The series does genuinely seem to want to pick apart some gender norms though, and though i am critical of the ways it fumbles the ball i do enjoy the themes, especially as a deconstruction story. Its NOT perfect and i think one of my biggest gripes with it is that despite this “dont objectify” theme, a lot of the female characters designs are pretty sexualized! Mostly not to an absurd degree, i actually think the maid outfits are cute, but sometimes i feel like it can detract rather than add. You could make the case that its saying “even if theyre dressed like this bla bla” but i think thats a reach… at the very least though theres not that much fanservice despite the outfits, things arent usually framed weirdly just to get tits or ass in frame and all. I think the most the was was a scene in the ova where emilia and rem hug and their boobs touch

One way that the themes do come full circle though is with the emilia and subaru’s first kiss. Their first fight was about subaru denying emilia her personhood by ignoring her will in favor of his own. They have another fight that calls back to this but this is AFTER subaru has character development and one way that he proves to her that he loves her is by getting explicit consent for the kiss (verbally and physically) beforehand- it wasnt just an example of “a kiss solves all the problems” but a demonstration of how far hes come as a character, not assuming that playing out movie tropes alone will fix stuff but actually caring about what she wants.

Memories/Identity

Speaking of losing memories, that’s also a huge theme in the story. The idea is that your memories are your identity isn’t exactly unique, but what i like a lot about how the series does it is how OTHER peoples memories of you matter just as much as your own. It’s what i call “self-recognition through the other.” 

Your identity is molded through how people around you perceive you, and how you perceive those perceptions in turn. Not just about how you see yourself, but how you see other people seeing you. That’s why there are two types of amnesia in the series, one where you forget your own identity and one where people forget who you are. Those are the two things that make you… you! So when a character loses one, they lose half of themselves. When they lose both… they stop existing. They enter a comatose state and are just a “null”- something that never was and yet is right here.

The theme of subaru projecting his will onto other people has to do with this- subaru hates himself so he can only bare to recognize himself through the projection.

The show especially has a LOT of shots of characters being reflected in each other’s eyes, making it clear that whats going on here isnt just a character being seen, but also a character seeing themselves through another person.

One example, heres a scene where subaru is yelling at emilia, he screams at her and calls her useless and tells her she cant save everyone. Throughout the entire scene we dont see subaru’s face, only emilia’s reaction, and when she starts to talk she just says “why are you crying?” and the scene changes to a close up of her eye, subaru reflected in it, crying. He wasn’t really yelling at emilia, he was yelling at himself through her.

Another way memories come into play is because of subaru’s return by death power. Its an isolating power, because when he dies and resets the timeline… his friends forget about him. From subarus perspective these are people he was close with, people hes been friends with for at least a month (in total) but who have no memory of him. Its part of why he blows up at emilia, hes frustrated that his friends cant remember such important memories because to them.. THEY NEVER HAPPENED!!! These are things that only subaru will remember. In arc 2 when he grows close to rem and ram over time and they just keep forgetting about him… it hurts him a lot because his friends just suddenly stop seeing him as a friend. Its not their fault, but its not his either. And they can never fully help him through the trauma because he cant tell anyone the shit hes been through, the power wont let him.

But from THEIR perspectives… its scary. Its scary when some guy you dont know acts so familiar, acts like you OWE him something when you have no idea what hes talking about. Something you cant remember. Of course emilia is horrified when he starts lashing out, she has no idea whats going on! 

Whats interesting is that the SAME THING happens to subaru later on… through the witch of envy. She claims that she loves him, in fact thats all she says, “i love you, i love you, i love you” but subaru doesnt know her. He has no idea who she is, hes terrified of someone who loves him so much for things he doesnt remember. Yeah, doesnt feel so good huh?

7(+2) deadly sins

Each arc of the series actually focuses around subaru making a choice that’s centered around overcoming a deadly sin, and there are also several characters representing the deadly sins, including the two that pope gregory got rid of (vainglory and melancholy). There are the witches of sin, as well as the archbishops that represent those sins. What I find the most interesting is how these sins relate back to the theme of identity through the way their powers are represented as well as the ways their respective arcs are handled.

Gluttony is the most obvious, it’s framed as a sin where you “consume” another person's identity for your own sake, or take it on completely, without regard for them and how they’ll get dulled or lose their own sense of self devoid from you.

Greed is about a desire for connection, which in moderation can be a good thing, but it can also become possessive and entitled. It’s literally objectifying, treating someone else like your possession. On the flip side, placing that desire above all else can also lead to the detriment of your own well-being as well as those around you.

Lust doesn’t just refer to the sexual connotation, but about love in general. Specifically about using love as leverage to take advantage of and manipulate people, even by force, and even down to their sense of self. 

Wrath also isn’t just about anger, it’s about intense emotions in general, and what happens when you project these emotions onto other people, and how this can become a cycle of amplifying these emotional projections back and forth until the person’s identity has been consumed by them.

Sloth can be taken as being slothful in your relationships, not just romantic ones but to the people around you. Neglecting or abandoning them when things get hard, especially if they really need you. Choosing escapism over reality.

Pride seems to be about the arrogant assumption that your perspective of another person is the correct one, and treating them the way that you see fit based on that. You’re in the right, so if you decide they deserve to be punished then it must be justified.

Envy is also about the possession of others, similar to greed but with a much more targeted and controlling nature. The jealousy that comes with it is one that forces the object of desire into being isolated, lonely and unfulfilled, unable to form any true bonds with others.

Melancholy is the one we’ve seen the least of, but it seems to be about forcing your negativity onto others, hurting not just yourself but also other people through your own depression and apathy.

Vainglory is gaslighting. Despite being as mysterious as melancholy, the metaphor is obvious. It’s manipulating another person's entire perspective and reality to fit your narrative, to manipulate them into what you want them to be.

Basically because of the series's themes of identity and projection, the biggest sin you could commit towards another person or even yourself is warping that.

Suicidality

Suicidality is present throughout the entire story. Of course it is! Our escapist mean characters superpower is to fucking die! But it’s more than that… Subaru hates himself. He wants to die. He didn’t consider himself to have a life before, and now he sees himself as an even bigger loser for all the trauma hes gone through and all that hes lost. Even in reflecting on the person he was. In the 4th arc especially he makes it clear how little he values his own life, especially because of how much he cares about his friends (at this point, yes, he sees them as people and loves them more than anything). But hes so traumatized, so down on himself for all his failures, and he cant die no matter how hard he tries.

This theme isn’t limited to him, in fact the same exact thing is true of beatrice, an immortal spirit girl who was abandoned inside a library for 400 years. They actually end up having a very very sweet sibling dynamic later on, but whats more important is that theyre both hypocrites. Subaru wants to save beatrce, he doesnt want her to die. Beatrice doesnt want subaru to die and repeatedly saves him, which he screams at her for. Beatrice begs him to kill her, he wont do it. They both want to save each other from each other but dont want to be saved themselves.

Rem is also an interesting example of suicidality- shes not as outwardly suicidal as beatrice and subaru but she does have a very very very severe inferiority complex, and very intense feelings of guilt and shame for never being enough, only being a replacement for her displaced sister, the literal reincarnation of a god. Rem falls for subaru because he sees her as her own person, for the first time ever (the only other person to do that is ram, but rem feels too guilty to see it) but what makes her feelings interesting is that she sees subaru as her “reason to die”. NOT LIVE! Rem only sees herself as someone worth discarding, if she can die for subaru than she would die happy. Its her excuse. What many many many people overlook about rem is just how unhealthy her ideas about love are, shes so mischaracterized! And its sad because of how interesting and thematically important her arc is… boiled down to a love triangle! Augh!

Stars

I love star themes in stories!!! This is honestly pretty obvious given that I have my own set of star-themed ocs, but i’ll try to put them aside for rn to talk about this lol. First of all subaru loves stars a lot, its something I like about his character too- he’s not just a typical nerdboy who likes anime and games, he has other unique personal interests like mythology and astronomy! Of course he does, his name actually comes from the stars, that’s where his love of them comes from. Subaru is the japanese name for the pleiades star cluster and the individual stars of become relevant later.

Beyond subaru there are plenty of characters whose names come from the stars, though not always directly. 

For example all of the witches of sin (aside from one) are named after astroids. Echidna, Minerva, Sekhmet, Daphne, Typhon, Carmilla, Pandora, and Hector. The exception to this rule is Satella, the witch of envy, who was always an odd-one-out. Her name could mean either star or satellite (like an asteroid!). And all the sin archbishops are also named after stars, and the names of the stars actually directly correlate to what their powers are.

There are also plenty of other ways characters names often tie into stars and mythology, but not always- sometimes theyre just puns. For example, emilia comes from the latin “emilius” which means… Jealous.

Other stuff

Re:zero actually has a lot of different content, one of the coolest to me, because of how they expand on the series’ themes, are the what:if routes. I didnt talk abt them in the above bc i thought it would get too confusing, but theyre basically alternate routes for the story. What WOULD HAVE happened if subaru had made the wrong choice, if the thematic sin of the arc won. So far, and in order, there’s 

Pride:if

Wrath:if

Sloth:if 

Greed:if

Gluttony:if 

There will probably be more in the future, whats funny is that theyre written and posted on april fools day… aka subaru’s birthday!

Theres also ovas which i think are important to watch before season 2, and one that takes place mid-season-1 so my watch order rec is actually

Season 1 episodes 1-11

Memory snow ova (lighthearted and fun!)

Season 1 episodes 12+

Frozen bonds ova (emilia backstory!)

Season 2

Theres also a directors cut version of the show but its basically just two episodes stitched together w some mild animation improvements and ONE scene added at the end (Which gets repeated in season 2 anyway) so which one you watch doesnt make a difference

After that, if you want, you can pick up the light novel at arc 5. Arc 6 s the best one imo but i havent read arc 7 yet (bear that in mind for the tw list)

Anyway now that i talked about the themes, and before i get to the tws, i want to talk about

The characters!!!!

Easily one of the best parts of the series. I feel like I’ve mostly talked about subaru and emilia here but thats because if i were to get Into It with each of these characters on their own we’d be here all day (and this is already so long!) they all have a lot of personality and are genuinely very complex and interesting characters so ill just give little blurbs to explain them here

Subaru: I’ve talked enough about here. I want to say that i genuinely like him a lot as a character, after his growth and development he’s so likable and fun and you just kind of want to protect him

Emilia: A silver-haired half-elf, she’s hated for looking like the witch of envy, a figure from history so repulsive people won’t even say her name. People call her a half-devil, say that she doesn’t deserve to live, that her birth was a crime. But emilia is a kind girl, she wants to change the world so that everyone is equal and no one is treated like she is. She’s also very strong, her ice magic is incredibly powerful and so so so deadly in some really cool and creative ways.

Puck: Emilia’s spirit! He loves emilia so much that he would literally kill everyone in the world and then himself if anything happened to her. For real.

Rem: So mischaracterized by the fanbase! Poor rem! She’s both sweet and also not afraid to cut a bitch at any given point. But for the most part she also kind of hates herself, seen as the lesser of the two oni sisters, she could never live up to ram. One day though, the tables turned, and rem had to take ram’s place, though she only felt guilt and shame for it. Seeing herself as nothing but a replacement, time stopped for her the fiery night her sister’s horn was cut off.

Ram: Also often mischaracterized as being “tsundere” though thats far from the truth- She’s actually just a straight up cunt. Her main character trait is that she’s bluntly honest no matter what, so when she’s being a bitch she means it. She used to be the reincarnation of the oni god (and technically still is) but when her horn was cut off she lost the ability to control these powers. She often gets seen as being “lazy” by other characters, but the truth is that she’s in constant pain because of this. Despite that, she was a little bit happy too when she was finally released from the pressures of a god.

Beatrice: The guardian of the forbidden library, she was abandoned there a long long time ago. Now she only sits and waits for someone to find her, save her, kill her. She can come off as being bratty, but the truth is that she’s very lonely and also afraid to let people in.

Roswaal: The margrave of the estate… He’s so very fucked up in the head… There’s not too much I can say without giving away some major plotpoints but that make-up isn’t there for nothing, he really is a fucking clown.

Otto: A merchant that eventually joined the emilia camp. He spent the first decade of his life completely mute, saying that the world used to be a hellish place of harsh noise for him. Eventually this changed- when he gained his divine protection of spirit voice. Meaning he can talk to animals! And other things. After some loops he ends up becoming a very very devoted friend to subaru, someone he can always confide in.

Garfiel: Sort of a wildcard, but despite everything he actually does have a heart of gold. And everything about him actually makes more sense when you learn he’s actually fourteen. He’s can also transform into a tiger which is pretty sick. And he has mommy issues!

Frederica: Garfiel’s older sister, she works as a maid for the roswaal estate but has taken a leave. She’s very sweet and motherly, especially to garfiel and petra. And she can transform into a lion which again is pretty sick.

Petra: A child from the village who ended up joining the emilia camp as a maid-in-training. I’m not going to lie I think she’s only there so there’s a cute kid that needs protecting and so that we can be devastated when she dies in any given loop. It kind of works

(now onto non-emilia-camp-members)

Anastasia: Don’t let her cute appearance fool you, she’s a cutthroat capitalist through-and-through. A former merchant looking to become the next king of legunica. 

Julius: Anastasia���s knight, the knight of knights. Everything about him screams “chivalry” but in reality that’s a weaning facade. He and subaru don’t get along much at first, but eventually they end up with a really close bond. Subaru is kind of tsundere about it though lol

Crusch: The most militant of the royal selection candidates, crusch is sort of a hard-ass through and through… In fact they’re pretty much just looking to run a meritocracy, and subaru himself calls out the fact that crusch would be a good leader if not for abandoning the weak.

Ferris: Crusch’s knight, Ferris is playful and sometimes a smartass. Also granted the title of “blue” for their status as the best healer in the country.

Wilhelm: Crusch’s butler. He seems like just some old man but in reality he’s badass lol

Reinhard: The current sword saint, and wilhelm’s grandson. He’s the most OP man in existence, but he has so so many family issues, growing up with a terrible family situation and being blamed for his grandmas death. On top of that he lacks freedom and choice, being bound to being a knight for the kingdom. Making it fitting that he’s representing the candidate looking to abolish the current system, Felt.

Felt: A former thief from the slums, she was selected as a dragon priestess and chose to run in the royal selection… Because she wants to destroy the structures in place. She hates the nobility, she hates the knights, and she’s going to burn it all down. She wants anarchy and she’s got my vote.

Rom: Felt’s grandpa <3 well, adoptive, but still. Their cute little found family is actually adorable and I want them to be so happy. He’s also a giant.

Priscilla: She’s such a bitch. But like, it’s also really funny how much of a bitch she is. She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, and her powers of luck make it so that everything always works out for her, no matter what. Basically she’s just aiming for totalitarianism, for all her whims to always be obeyed

Al: Priscilla’s knight, he’s pretty much just there to give her whatever she wants whenever she wants it. What's the most interesting about him though is that… he’s from earth. Like, our earth. Subaru isn’t the only one. In fact there are at least two historical figures that are also from earth. 

(now for antagonists)

Elsa: The first real threat subaru encounters, elsa is a vampire and assassin who’s been granted the nickname of “the bowel hunter” because of the way she… Well, she rips people’s guts out and loves to watch them die <3

Meili: Elsa’s little assistent, they actually see each other as sisters and care about each other. She’s also more than okay with a little murder despite being like 12, because that’s all she knows. And she has control over monsters which is awesome.

Petelguese: sin archbishop of the witches cult representing sloth. He’s actually out of his mind… But. There’s some legit backstory. All i will say is that his voice actor has some fucking range i swear. Also the way he’s animated is both horrifying and hilarious. Uncanny in just the right loony toons way

Satella: AKA the witch of envy, she’s sort of mysterious, sort of a contradiction.

Echidna: The witch of greed, an amazing manipulator. All she wants is to know everything, her greed is an insatiable thirst for knowledge and she has no morals. 

Minerva: The witch of wrath. What makes her angry? The injustices of a cruel world, pain and suffering, hardship and strife. She’s angry because she cares so much.

Sekhmet: The witch of sloth, she drove a giant dragon (basically deities in legunica) to the other side of the great waterfall (a barrier considered impenetrable, no one knows whats beyond it) just so she could nap.

Daphne: The witch of gluttony, she created all the monsters that inhabit the world. Why? So that no one ever has to go hungry ever again. But she thinks it’s unfair to not give the monsters a chance to eat too.

Typhon: The witch of pride, the young daughter of an executioner. Watching person after person be put to death, she childishly and cruelly began to judge people’s lives on her own. She might be a kid but she’s horrifying. 

Carmilla: The witch of lust, though not in a purely sexual sense. A vampire who was worshiped in her life- people went to war over her. She has no interest in love herself, however she does recognize how important love is and wants to help people realize it too.

Hector: The devil of melancholy, he’s a bit mysterious but the make takeaway is that he has depression.

Pandora: The witch of vanity, and THE most broken character in anything ever. Her powers are literally just speaking shit into existence. She’s like somesort of goddess, and like her namesake she’s trying to open a box right now…

Anyway. 

Trigger warnings

Re:zero is a dark show with some heavy themes, and despite being a deconstruction its also not immune to some of the grosser things abt the isekai genre. Heres my list of things to be weary of (Aside from stuff that wasnt already mentioned) so…

A not insignificant amount of gore. Its not corpse party or anything, but there are guts and eyeballs flying out, as well as plenty of examples of limbs getting cut off or in one case twisted until they break. In the light novel the descriptions of the gore are more graphic. Subaru dies in all kinds of fucked up ways.. As well as the people around him really.

Theres some pretty graphic depictions of self harm, particularly finger mutilation by one of the antagonists. Subaru also has a habit of biting his lip until it bleeds and in the ln its very heavily implied that he cuts himself. And again plenty of his deaths were suicides. 

It’s really not shown on-screen, but one of the antagonists says that when she was a child she was molested by a man while seeking shelter in a snow storm. She killed him though so theres that

Theres also a pretty gross scene (intentionally so) where echidna, a witch character, finds a young roswaal who had literally JUST THROWN UP and starts to… make out with him. Its literally so gross. On multiple levels. In-universe it was supposed to be to help heal him, but on a meta level i think it was just showing us how their dynamic was a bit... yeah. (Also if vomit in general grosses you out, subaru throws up a few times during the series… understandable. He is so so traumatized)

Speaking of roswaal, hes like, 100+ years old now, and ram is 18. and he burned down rem and rams entire village and took them in to work for him when they were kids. And ram STILL has romantic feelings for him. Girl you have stockholm syndrome!!! But at the very least roswaal doesnt reciprocate (as of rn. Hopefully never) and the other characters straight up tell her she has bad taste lol

Also just in general animals and children will die, sometimes brutally, and even though its usually reset it can still be upsetting to watch.

The series also isnt afraid to depict subaru has having Mental Issues. It can be assumed he developed PTSD from the Everything Going On. and its not afraid to show disassociation, especially in arc 6, he more or less develops DID (though a little misdescribed) but with like some fantasy aid. You could also see emilia as having repressed memories but again theres fantasy aspects to it. I dont think depicting these things is bad obviously but i know they can cause some ppl to have episodes. (I dont have DID or anything but for some reason after i read inside mari i was like completely disassociating for days it was weird). 

But what i find the most unpleasant to watch is the “loli” characters in the show. For the most part i dont find it to be that egregious, so i can handle it. but i think the worst example by far is liliana… i honestly dont know if ill be able to watch arc 5 when she’ll actually be on-screen and ill have to look at her like… eugh. Shes 22 but looks like shes 12 and shes in a relationship with a grown man who the other characters call a lolicon. Its genuinely something i hate about the series but like everything else enough that i dont look directly at it (doesnt mean im not conscious and critical though, please dont mistake that as what im saying lol)

There’s gotta be more so I’ll add on if I remember but that’s all I can think of off the top of my head.

Despite all the things that I dislike though you gotta believe me when I say there's stuff I like.. I mean that's what this entire novel was about. This wasn't a an analysis or critique of the show in ANY way, despite how much i wrote i actually feel like i'd be doing it a huge disservice in that regard. No, it's just all the stuff that I like, and on a somewhat surface level too because I didn't want to give EVERYTHING away, though I know I still said a lot!

So yeah! :thumbs_up: if you wanna check it out and the tws dont make you too uncomfortable I say go for it. I understand it's not for everyone and thats okay ^_^

[ksficrec]

Hi! I just wanted to say that I love this blog, and I also wanted to take the opportunity that so many Kakasaku stories are shared here to express some frustrations I have when I’m reading a fic.I wonder if maybe there’s somone out there that share the same opinions so that’s why I’m here with a little list of things that bother me in a Kakasaku fic:

1- The “Sakura-Chan” thing. Kakashi does NOT call her like that, and frankly it only makes sense when Naruto says it. Kakashi calling Sakura like that is very ooc and not cute AT ALL for me.

2- Ino always being portrayed as the “sex expert”, pushing Sakura to dress sexy or whatever as if Sakura was a virgin prude with no sensuality of her own. It pisses me off, like why humiliating Sakura like that?

3- Sasuke being portrayed as a villain in OU fics: Sasuke suffered a lot of trauma and was heavily manipulated by Itachi, Orochimaru and Obito, but even if he was rude to Sakura sometimes, it was because he felt he had to push people away so he didn’t loose loved ones again. He deeply cared for team 7 so in OU fics, there’s a lot of ways you could write a good Kakasaku without having to bash Sasuke because canon Kakashi and Sakura understand Sasuke very well, it doesn’t make sense for them to hate him.

4- Last but not least, let’s be clear about what is slow-burn: slow-burn is when the relationship and chemistry are being constructed gradually, not rushed or urgent. They go slow with respect to each other’s limits. Writing a scene when the couple is about to have sex and then something/someone comes up and gets in the way is NOT slow-burn!!

Anyway, I just needed to take some things out of my chest because these little details really bother me when reading a story. Thanks for the attention, and keep up the good work!

Hi! Firstly, thank you 💕 Then,

This is where I realised I forgot most of canon and most of my Naruto knowledge now I think is purely from fics because I don't remember at all if Kakashi calls her Sakura-chan in canon or not! I don't mind it so much in fics, plus when it's used there is always a moment when feelings happen and he stops calling her -chan, so I don't so much mind this one. But I also prefer when he doesn't call her -chan, but instead sees her more as an equal in the field also (but idk if this is maybe a wstern bias I have and perhaps am not interpreting the japanese suffixes quite right).

I don't like the shy virginal Sakura portrayals either anymore (I think I did when I was a teen because I could relate to her that way). But also given the age difference and that in many fics Sakura is 18-19, I get the shy angle. But I just don't like reading that anymore, give me bamf, confident, sexually secure Sakura any day. However the flirty Ino is a trope I LOVE in fics.

(What does OU mean?) I get this but also I never really liked Sasuke too much. As an adult I understand that all his problematic behavior stems from being hurt and manipulated like you said, but the way he treats Sakura in canon is still very poor, traumatised or not. I get where it comes from but it's still not good behavior. Anyways in fics I also prefer when he is not such a bad guy, but a more sort of complicated situation. I also like the fics where he is dead but Sakura has only lovely and loving memories of him, which also complicates the situation

I am not sure what the actual fandom definition of slow burn is?? I am realising?? Because when they keep getting interrupted it's slow burn for the reader cause you want it so bad but it keeps getting delayed... but yea that's not so much slow burning feelings tha tthe characters have. While what you are describing is also friends to lovers (alt enemies to lovers) which is its own tag... so idk!! I'll take your word for it tho

I love this ask, you are all welcome to sending this kind of asks!

[chateautae]

maybe i do | kth. I

➵ summary :  maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.

↳  part of the high-class series!

➵ pairing : taehyung x reader

➵ genre :  arranged marriage!au, ceo!tae, s2l!au, eventual smut, fluff, angst 

➵ rating : 18+

➵ word count : 11k

➵ warnings : swearing, alcohol consumption, anxiety, lots of feels about marriage, a stupid ex (reader’s), mentions of bad sexual experiences with ex (there’s consent, just bad sex that makes the reader feel shitty), does ceo tae count as a warning? 

➵ a/n: hello my first fic of my favourite trope arranged marriage, AND with kim taehyung?? yes pls !! this will be a series and I’ll be actively working on it so you don’t have to wait too long for chapters, i hope you can follow this series with me <33

chapter one : “my forever’s falling down”  

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“Another one, Father? I thought I told you my secretary would be handling marriage profiles from now on. Stop concerning yourself with who I marry.” 

“But I do, son. Trust me, I know this girl, she’s the daughter of a trusted friend and I think she’s a good match.” 

“Father, everyone you choose for me I dislike and it’s distracting me from my work. I don’t need this right now.” 

“She’s different, Taehyung. I personally know her and I’m certain you won’t say no.” 

“And why is that?” 

“There’s something about her you won’t refuse, son, you’ll notice it when you meet her.” 

“I don’t want to meet her, Father. Like I said, I need to work.” 

“I just knew you’d act this way. Want to know something, son? I’ve made her part of a business deal, you can’t back out of this.”

“What? You made her part of a business deal?! Why would you-”

“Because you wouldn’t have given her a chance otherwise, you haven’t been giving anyone a chance since I’ve been setting up potential partners for you and I’m sick of it. You said you were open to an arranged marriage, where’s that attitude now?”

“Because, Father, I have a company to run and that’s-”

“No. I will not allow you to reduce your life to just this company. There are far more enjoyable things in life than a business.”

“But Father-”

“No, Taehyung. One thing you need to learn is balance. If you don’t give anyone or anything a chance you will live a lonely life behind your desk. Even in this cutthroat world of business where you can lose money or be betrayed by anyone at any moment, the most painful thing to suffer is loneliness, and I won’t let you live in this world alone.”

“Dad-”

“You will meet this girl, Taehyung, end of discussion.” 

“Dad! I told you I want nothing to do with your company, how could you let me get dragged into this?!” 

“Y/N-ie, I know you value the life you have without any of my help, but let me help just this once, especially with finding a husband. I’m being offered the deal of a lifetime and I can’t refuse, he just happens to be part of it. I need this for the company, please.”

“But Dad, I don’t even know him. And if he’s the CEO of some rich company he’s probably an asshole, I’m not doing this.” 

“Y/N-ie, trust me, I know his son. He’s a sincere, hard-working man, I promise.”

“Yeah, right. Even if that’s the case, I still don’t know him, let alone love him, Dad. How can you make me marry someone I don’t love?”

“Because you can learn to love him. There are no rules concerning the way two people should fall in love, love doesn’t always need to come first.”

“But Dad-”

“My daughter, I have not asked you for many things in my life, but this is one thing I must ask of you. Please, just meet him, don’t say no without even trying.”

“Dad, I don’t know-”

“Please, Y.N, do it for me. If not for the company or money, please do it for me.”

And here you were, fidgeting with the tips of your nails, tuning in and out of the present world and overthinking every aspect of your life that somehow lead you to this moment. Sitting on a Leather Italia couch in what was described to be Mr. Kim’s study; listening to your father’s incessant, albeit wholesome chatter next to you with your future in-laws across. 

And next to them was their suave, unreadable son sitting in a relaxed manner, flipping his attention between your fathers’ conversation and anything else in the room.

You on the other hand, were utterly high strung due to the fact that your father failed to mention your future fiancé’s identity until 30 minutes before arriving here, having done a quick search in the car to unveil who he exactly was.

And that’s when it hit you. You weren’t marrying just anyone, you were getting married to Kim Taehyung. The infamous CEO of Kim Enterprises—Korea’s largest software development and manufacturing company, rivaling to be one of the largest in the world. He was part of Seoul’s most prestigious circle of businessmen, having made multiple Forbes international lists of Most Successful, Youngest, Richest, and is even one of Korea’s most eligible bachelors, not just Seoul.

If this wasn’t already taking you out, then it was definitely the fact that his photos through a measly Google search did him absolutely, utterly and completely no justice. They simply could never capture the truth of just how handsome Kim Taehyung was in real life. You couldn’t deny it, he wasn’t just good-looking, he was stunning, gorgeous, seemed as though God had created the universe, heaven and hell in 6 days and left the 7th just to create him. 

He was like a work of art, worthy of being placed in the finest of museums and left untouched, unsodden by the ugliness of humanity. It made you feel extremely inferior to him in an instant. It was sickening, he was sickening, intoxicating, and quite frankly, intimidating.

It was his look, his undivided stare when he eventually settled his sight on you. It didn’t matter his dark hair that landed and perfectly curled above his eyes, the way he occasionally licked his plush lips or how his long, tall legs spread out before him, it was his look that made you want to turn tail and run.  

It seemed to reach into your soul, peer straight through whatever façade, walls or defense mechanisms you could spend years building only to have his simple look tear it down in minutes. He was alluring, captivating, left you wanting to cower into whatever hole you could dig yourself into or discover all the secrets he hid behind those enchanting eyes.

Kim Taehyung was many things you couldn’t quite wrap your head around, though you assessed your priorities and decided they didn’t just include him, but mainly the significance of the current meeting taking place right now. 

It wasn’t a mere one-time business deal to discuss a project, it was a meeting that entailed the partnership of both your family companies and would define the next however many years of your life. More specifically, spending it with the exact same man that looked at you without a single readable expression on his face. 

You distracted yourself by trying to observe as many useless things as you could, flitting around the room many times before suddenly glancing at Taehyung’s index finger coming up to rest against his lips.

You zeroed your vision in more. 

Is that a cut on his finger?

“Jae-in, of course! This is just as important to me as it is to you, your son is a remarkable CEO, and I’m sure he’ll make an amazing husband.” 

“Aish, Namhyun, you flatter me too much. My son may be handsome, though your daughter is even more beautiful. I’m very sure she will make a wonderful wife.”

“Yes, Namhyun, your daughter is absolutely gorgeous! Just as gorgeous as her mother. I know she wasn’t able to make it, though may I ask where your wife is tonight?” 

“Ah, unfortunately, she’s out of the country. Though I was hoping my presence would be enough to fill in for her, am I doing a bad job?” 

Laughter erupted from the parents in the room, meanwhile, Taehyung couldn’t help but notice the way you immediately winced at the mention of your mother. Something he definitely wouldn’t miss with the way he found himself examining your every move. 

It was habitual to him, something born out of his roots in business, only for the purpose of calculating and reading people like an open book. 

He knew you’d also become victim to that habit, though oddly enough, he found himself quite interested in observing you. He had already figured you out; you hated business, there was a clear disconnection between yourself and your father’s company and you reeked of a sense of independence that funnily contradicted the antsy way you bounced your leg. 

Your way of speech, however, mannerisms, gestures, your look; it was all professional enough you clearly have some sort of background in business. You seemed like an heiress to Taehyung, which you were, though you oddly had no interest in business?   

All these details piqued his interest, curious of just who you exactly were, but he was mainly intrigued by the mysterious claim his father made upon mentioning you for the first time. 

‘There’s something about her you won’t refuse.’

That had raked Taehyung’s brain consistently for the past hour now, crossing his legs loosely and his arms folded over his chest, contemplating over and over again as he looked at you, what’s so damn special about her? 

‘You’ll notice it when you meet her,’ the words rang in his ears.

That was the driving force behind his calculation, observation, near inability to take his eyes off of you as he learned new things nearly every minute and led him closer to understanding his father.  

He could tell you were an anxious person, though hid it behind a persona of false confidence. You had a tendency to stick close to your father despite observing you don’t rely on him for much of anything, even less your mother. The softness behind your every movement despite being from a business background where you should be harsh, rigid, rough around the edges, and yet you seemed entirely different.

Taehyung then realized how inherently dissimilar you were to many of the other women he met. They were all relatively of the same cut and look. Cold, sharp, cunning. All women of pure business; daughters, granddaughters or straight CEOs of wealthy companies, simply interested in marriage as a deal or an advantage rather than a commitment. 

And there was absolutely nothing wrong with that. Taehyung was a man of business himself, married to his work, his home behind a desk and the company the only thought occupying his mind 24/7.

But with you, you were interesting, unlike the others and it made him curious.

Taehyung also couldn’t help but notice you were...pretty. You weren’t too overly sexy nor too innocent, you were pretty. There was an elegance to your looks, features like your hair and eyes complementing you as a whole, and he couldn’t miss that you felt oddly...warm.

Taehyung found himself beginning to understand his father’s original viewpoint, considering the possibility he could’ve been correct. 

You just seemed different. 

“Ah, that seems to be everything. Exact details about the wedding have already been put in place by us.”

“Yes! We’ve been waiting for our TaeTae to get married for so long. We’ve had plans for months now and we can finally move forward with them! You and Y/N don’t need to worry about anything!” 

“Mom, did you really just call me that in front of my future fiancé?” 

“Oh, let it go, son. It won't be long before she calls you that, too!” 

Taehyung could only playfully roll his eyes at his overly excited mother, you scrunching your nose at the embarrassment.

“That’s incredibly generous of you, Mr. and Mrs. Kim, though my conscience is not one to let such things go. My family should contribute to the wedding in some way. Y/N and I would be happy to do so.”

“Why don’t we discuss that outside? I believe we should give the future couple some time alone, shall we?” 

You and Taehyung exchanged a quick look before standing up and respectively addressing either’s parents, Taehyung shutting the door behind them once they exited and having turned to look at you, an awkward silence piercing the air. 

There it was again, his look. It was irrefutably the one reason you avoided eye contact with him, you felt he would swallow you up if you shared even 5 seconds between each other.

“So...” Taehyung suddenly broke the ice, eyeing you.

“So...” 

“Marriage, huh?” 

“Yeah, marriage. Never done that one before.” If there wasn’t a time you vehemently hated yourself, then it was undoubtedly now. You internally facepalmed at your dumb comment, adding a laugh at the end in embarrassment only to look away. 

“Uh..yeah.” Taehyung laughed awkwardly. “Me neither, if you didn’t already know.” He tucked his hands into his pockets and looked away, you fidgeting by the couches everyone previously occupied. 

A beat of silence passed as you both exchanged looks between objects in the room and each other, either of you pursing your lips or blowing light raspberries to cut the awkwardness. 

“I wanted to ask you something.” 

“Hm?” You turned towards him, lips just a pout as your doe-eyes awaited him. 

Taehyung didn’t miss that at all. 

“Um, your mother. I apologize if this is intrusive of me, though I couldn’t help but notice I’ve never actually met her. May I ask where she is?” 

You let out a dry chuckle before answering, another detail that didn’t slip Taehyung’s attention. “Trust me, Taehyung, one thing you’ll never have to worry about during this entire ordeal is my mother. She should be the last thing on your mind.” You assured him with what he could tell was your fakest smile, distracting him from the realization you’d said his name for the first time.

“Are you sure? I’ll be meeting her at the wedding so-”

“You won’t. I don’t think you will. Even if she does make it, it takes very little to impress her, just be yourself and she’ll love you.” You stated with a sense of finality, as though the topic should be dropped. 

“Be myself? I’m one of the best businessmen in Korea. It’s my job to get people to like me, easy stuff.” He casually gloated. 

“You don’t only have to be a businessman to do that,” you paused and looked at him, “you can just be Kim Taehyung, too.” You spoke nonchalantly, eyes lingering with his for longer than 5 seconds and he, in fact, had not swallowed you yet. 

Taehyung instantly furrowed his eyebrows, taken aback as if your suggestion was something outlandish, absurd, maybe even offending.

Nobody has ever said such a thing to him, not throughout the entirety of his life. 

Taehyung tried his best to recover, searching for another topic of conversation before he was cut off by your rather soft voice, he noticed. 

“Oh, I wanted to give you this.” You stepped towards him, reaching into your purse and retrieving something Taehyung couldn’t quite see. You strided over and extended your hand, Taehyung finding himself even more confused.

“A bandage?” 

“Mhm. For the cut on your finger. You should probably clean it and apply something before putting this on.” You stated nonchalantly once again, offering him a small smile whilst holding out the bandage. 

“Uh...” Taehyung started but couldn’t complete his sentence, lost on how you even observed something as small as his cut and spoke of treating it like it was an actual injury.  

After his struggle to form a sentence, you grew bold enough to gently remove his hand from his pocket and place the bandage in his palm, looking back up at him. You shared a momentary look with his chocolate eyes, instantly scrambling after realizing your hand was still in his.

He has really big hands. 

“We should um...probably go.” You avoided his eyes, stepping aside quickly to pull the door open.

Taehyung’s mind felt displaced, eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the fact that someone had actually left him with nothing to say, an extremely rare occurrence in his book.

He was even more displaced looking at the measly wrapper in his hand, then at the cut on the side of his finger, playing through the last 5 minutes of what just happened.

He scoffed to himself.

‘There’s something about her you won’t refuse.’

It had been 3 weeks since that meeting, not having seen Taehyung once as you wasted your time enjoying single life luxuries before you prepared for one of marriage.

It still felt odd to say such a thing, marriage, because it didn’t even feel like one, or a real one at that. It was forced, fake, a pressured one out of convenience. It felt more like a deal, something Taehyung and yourself had to settle for in order to keep your parents’ minds at ease.

That thought racked your brain all those 3 weeks; Taehyung had to settle for you, he didn’t choose you, just as much as you settled for him and didn’t choose him either. You both had ultimately agreed to the marriage only in an effort to optimize your parents’ happiness, not your own.

You had no clue how he felt, a mystery as much as the Bermuda Triangle, knowing he most certainly had a grand pick of women to choose from and you were most definitely his worst option.

You knew you were suddenly dumped on him, leaving him no choice in the matter as you learned your marriage entailed a beneficial business deal between your fathers’ companies, and Taehyung couldn’t really refuse you with so much on the line.

You had already felt inferior to Taehyung since the moment you met him, though your insecurities seeped further into the crevices of your doubtful mind the more you thought over that sad fact, contemplating a married life with him. In your opinion you were pretty much undesirable to him, Taehyung probably kicking himself knowing he had to unwillingly call you his wife for the rest of his life. 

You just knew you weren’t good enough for him, you would never measure up no matter how hard you’d try and that utterly terrified you. You were confident and independent when it came to yourself, though wedding a near perfect being regarded as one of Seoul’s finest in terms of a CEO and a man? 

Confidence be damned, this dude was intimidating. 

These were the feelings that swarmed your head as you sulked at your over-the-top engagement party, set up in a prestigious buildings’ gorgeous 37th floor riddled with baroque styling and embellishments, classical music gracing some of Seoul’s wealthiest patrons as their flutes clinked and snobby chatter filled the hall. 

It was all extremely high-status, reeking of upper class supremacy and quite frankly, it made you want to throw up.

You distracted yourself by bringing any and all types of alcohol to your lips, trying to focus on anything but your daunting thoughts.

The entire night you hadn’t talked to Taehyung, both of you having been too occupied with the numerous amounts of people meeting and congratulating you. This became a genuine nuisance as you’d mentioned before, this marriage was of convenience, one that brought families and companies together merrily and constituted hundreds of people attending your engagement party you didn’t really know.

Your friends were excited, over-the-moon you bagged a man like Taehyung and chastised you for not having told them about your engagement to him earlier. Your relatives similarly scolded you, pinching your cheeks and praising Taehyung like he was a God while they scrunched their noses at you for concealing him.

How could I tell you when I didn’t even know myself?, you thought.

It was funny they praised your ‘choice’ of a fiancé, positive nobody was saying the same to Taehyung without at least lying. The public only knew of you as your father’s daughter, never having seen you due to your vehement absence from anything remotely related to his company, and much of the business world in general. 

You weren’t part of that world, a world of greed and money-driven lunatics. It just wasn't you. It never suited you, left you with a bad taste in your mouth you constantly grimaced at and thought maybe you were the insane one for not understanding its flavour. As you grew older, however, you came to realize it simply wasn’t the path meant for you, someone who valued the independence and achievement of earning something for yourself, by yourself.

Ever since the inception of that principal, your young teenage self resolved you didn’t want to rely on your father’s wealth, especially not his influence or power to achieve your own place in life.

Your father had worked determinedly hard for years in order to stand as high he does now, warranting your acute admiration for your role model of a father, his now successful architecture business landing him a few buildings part of the Seoul skyline.

And after finally achieving his dream, it suddenly morphed into your own aspiration. His hard work drove you to want your own design part of Seoul’s breathtaking scenery as well, by means of your own effort, your own hard work. You didn’t want your father’s help. It felt wrong, like you were cheating if you used him to gain your place and so you condemned your life to one that separated yours and his. 

So you lived, worked and earned money without any of his influence.

You worked for an average architecture company where you felt comfortable, happy that you were away from the suffocating high-status business of your family. And although your detachment left your identity a mystery to many, your situation on the other hand was an extremely infamous one.

‘The-runaway-heiress’, was your staple trademark. The judgmental comments about your choice of life and the insults it warranted were never-ending, subjected to that criticism all your life.

There was no doubt Taehyung was hearing all of that, people probably warning him to step out of the marriage before it was too late. You weren’t like Taehyung, who was perfect, desirable, someone everyone either wanted or wanted to be. It left you glad and quite frankly, proud to be wedding a man of such caliber and incredibility, though left you wondering why in God’s name he would ever agree to marry someone like you; average, average and well, average.

“That’s your 5th shot, Y/N, slow the fuck down.” Your best friend Hana’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, snatching the shot glass from your grasp. “It wouldn’t be cool if you were trashed at your own party, dummy.” 

Her sudden appearance brought a smile to your face. “I know, I just don’t feel well.” You sighed by the counter of the bar, seated atop a stool as you circled an empty shot glass mindlessly. 

“I get you, there’s like, hundreds of people here and you’re probably hearing a lot of different shit.” Hana appealed to you, having read your emotions like an open book. “Speaking of people, I wanted to ask, what’s up with Taehyung and his stare?”

You stifled a snort, looking at Hana’s incredulous face. “It’s just a habit of his. He stares at everyone.”

“Okay... sure, but I didn’t mean everyone, I meant you.” Hana emphasized, comically pointing.

You furrowed your eyebrows at her, arm leaning against the bar’s counter as you questioned, “What do you mean?”

“He doesn’t really stop staring at you, which is kinda weird. Unless you like that, I don’t judge people’s kinks.” Hana mockingly held her hands up in surrender, gauging a reaction out of you. 

You instantly grimaced, “It’s not a kink, Hana. Nice joke by the way, wanna sign up for SNL with that one?”

“I’m serious! I’ve been catching him just looking at you and I don’t know if it’s weird or hot.” Hana informed as you became more puzzled, her becoming oddly excited, “Awh, maybe he’s concerned with how much you keep drinking! That’s so romantic.” She chimed, looking off into the distance dreamily.

“Shut the fuck up, he wouldn’t do that.” You smacked her arm, snatching your shot glass back from her. “Besides, you’re one of the rare people who knows this marriage is fake, you know he doesn’t care.”

“Jheez, way to kill romance?” Hana rolled her eyes, smacking your arm in rebuttal before continuing. “I’m serious, though. This may be fake but he really does keep looking at you, and I don’t know what it means.” Hana speculated, contorting her lips as if in thought.

“It means nothing, Hana. You’re just seeing things.”

“Then why has he been staring at you depressed by the bar for the last half an hour?”

You nearly spit out your drink, “What?”

“Are you clueless or just dumb? He’s been talking to someone for 30 minutes but most of the time he’s been looking at you, and he still is, how haven’t you noticed?”

You creased your eyebrows in surprise as you slowly lowered your shot glass. You turned away from Hana to scan the small crowds of people mingling, eating, drinking in the hall.

You searched the room, drink still in hand until your eyes caught tall, dark and handsome in his finely pressed suit, casually standing with a drink in his hand by a table speaking to someone. You nearly jumped when your eyes locked with Taehyung’s, every cell in your body caught off guard.

What made your heart specifically race was the way he didn’t even look away from you. He held your gaze, casually conversing with the person in front of him, eyeing you until he finally cracked a small smirk before turning back to his companion.

Your eyebrows practically shot up to the sky.

“See, weird or hot? Am I even allowed to say hot?” Hana blurted as she reveled in your reaction. “And you really thought I was joking. You don’t believe anything I say, I could tell you the world’s ending and you wouldn’t believe me. I could tell you aliens finally invaded the planet and you wouldn’t believe me until the green motherfuckers knocked on your door themselves and-”

“Hana, shut the fuck up.” You cut her off abruptly and made a face at her. “Why did you even come here?”

“Grumpy, aren’t we?” She flashed you a sarcastic look before sighing. “Your dad wanted me to find you. You and Taehyung have to meet someone important, so you should stop drinking like an alcoholic, dumbass.” Hana informed hastily as she grabbed the shot glass from you and downed it herself.

“Your dad’s by the entrance, go before he gets mad!” She shooed you away, pushing you up until you whisper-yelled and smacked at her to let you go. 

You began stepping towards the entrance, smoothing over your dress and this was the moment you realized you may have drank a little too much. You were quick to reprimand yourself, cursing your unprofessional behavior as your inner equilibrium became slightly woozy, senses drowning out a bit, every sound hazed over with a buzz in your veins.

You sucked in a breath to pull yourself together, knowing your dad valued this person enough you and Taehyung had to meet them together. 

Taehyung.

You decided to glance in his direction, lips pursing seeing he wasn’t in his previous spot. You chose to ignore it, walking along until you felt a looming presence behind you, almost having time to acknowledge it before a hand suddenly touched the small of your back. 

“Looking for me?”

You nearly squealed, jumping with a hand ready to punish before calming down at the sight of Taehyung, sighing with relief. “Jheez, could you use my name? I thought you were a stranger.” 

“Well, hello to you too.” Taehyung quipped sarcastically. “And why would a stranger touch your back? Of course it’d be the only man in this room marrying you.” Taehyung narrowly eyed you, scrutinizing your reaction with his hand still pressed to you.

“People do a lot of whatever the hell they want, Taehyung.” You responded turning away from him, heels clacking as you continued to pace towards where your father stood. “W-why’d you do that, anyway?” 

Taehyung furrowed his eyebrows. “Because we’re engaged?”

“It’s not real, though.”

“It’s as real as it gets.” Taehyung finalized, making it a statement to smile at everyone you passed, to which you realized just how many pairs of eyes glued themselves to you. “This may not feel like a real marriage to us, but to the rest of the world it is.” 

He then suddenly leaned himself down to your height and lowered his tone, breath just ghosting your ear. “Y/N, we have to make this seem real, it’s the only way we’ll survive.” Taehyung was the closest he’s ever been to you, and the deep baritone of his voice as he called your name did absolutely nothing but manifest butterflies in your chest. 

Why was his voice so deep?

You shook the thought out of your head, ultimately choosing not to say anything because he was in fact, correct. You grinned widely continuing to mask the truth of your arrangements, leaning into him more as you settled for his hand on your back.

You’d noticed it before, but his hand felt particularly large against you now that he was so close. You glanced at his other hand resting by his side, impressed by how masculine they appeared; long fingers with running veins and a roughness to them, sculpted so well you were sure they deserved to be referred to as art. It tickled your giddy side for a second when they seemed to perfectly contrast your more feminine and smaller hands. 

It was kinda cute. 

You neglected your thoughts once you neared your father, warm-heartedly conversing with a well-dressed man you just about recognized. 

“Ah, there you both are!” Your father cheered, reaching out his arm so he could envelop you in a side-hug, returning Taehyung’s bow and addressment.  

“Dad, I heard you wanted us to meet someone?” You perked up in a superficial tone, at least attempting to act as though everything was fine and dandy in your life; maybe owing it to the alcohol to endure all the falsehoods.

“Yes, Y/N-ie, I wanted you to meet Mr. Won. Chang-in, my lovely daughter and whom I guess you already know, her fiancé and CEO of Kim Enterprises, Kim Taehyung.” Your father proudly presented you both.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Won, Kim Taehyung.” Taehyung was the first to address the man, extending his hand and bowing as he greeted him. You were almost taken aback by how polite he could be, the way his charming smile graced his features and attractively displayed his perfect teeth. His manner of speech and etiquette were all refined with a high degree of professionalism as well, internally gawking at his duality.  

Wasn’t he acting all entitled with you just now? 

“Nice to meet you as well!” You collected yourself and cheered, a little baffled as to why Taehyung still rested his hand against your back. “I’m hoping my father has only said good things.” You earned a laugh from the group, Mr. Won responding by receiving your hand with a firm shake. 

“Ah, Namhyun, you forgot to mention how beautiful your daughter has grown, and your future son-in-law has me jealous! What a handsome and accomplished young man, the perfect match, the two of them.” Mr. Won praised you both kindly.

You and Taehyung both smiled and thanked him humbly, feeling some heat collect in your cheeks upon Mr. Won’s words. You two? The perfect match? Unless he believes a rock and a Greek statue belong together, then he’s absolutely correct. 

Other than that, you chest swarms with butterflies thinking you’re now referred to as ‘two’. 

Taehyung for some odd reason encircles the curve of your waist suddenly, pulling you closer to him. You last minute sputter at the intimate action before leaning into him, one arm nervously encasing his torso as the other rests against his chest. 

You feel him tense underneath you. 

“Aish, you’re such a flatterer. Y/N-ie, do you remember Mr. Won? My friend from university? You haven’t seen him in a while.” Your father rested a hand on your shoulder, trying to jog your memory. 

“Oh, you mean Mr. Won from SNU?” You suddenly remembered, looking to your father for confirmation. 

“Yes, so you do remember!” 

“Of course I do, how could I forget!” You smiled brightly and returned your gaze to the familiar man. “Mr. Won used to sneak me ice cream when you wouldn’t let me have any, Dad.” You scolded him with a playful jab to his arm, inviting more laughter. “I apologize for not recognizing you right away, it’s been a long time, Mr. Won, forgive me.” You solemnly apologized, Mr. Won giving you a look of understanding. 

“Ah, forget it, Y/N. Don’t worry about it, although since it’s been a long time I hope you remember my son? He should be here somewhere..” Mr. Won trailed as his eyes fished over the grand hall, scanning around. 

“Your son..” You repeated to yourself, realizing there was a familiar connection itching at your mind, he was your age actually-

Wait. 

Oh God, not him. 

Anything but him. 

You felt raw panic seep into the spaces between your ribs, your chest filling with a constricting feeling of anxiety you couldn't shake off. Your heart picked up speed and the alcohol coursing through your veins didn’t help your judgement or memory at all, mind fogged over with the poison we dare call alcohol.  

You felt stupid, so utterly stupid. How could you forget Mr. Won and who his Godforsaken son was? 

You felt an anxiety attack riddling you, shifting your weight on your feet as you tried to bite back your uneven breathing. You just couldn’t see this man, especially in a situation where you were standing next to your husband-to-be. 

Taehyung wasn’t so invested in the conversation before him, mindlessly nodding along before he felt you physically freeze next to him, his glance to the side confirming your pale look, watching as your panicked eyes faltered to the floor and revealed... fear? 

He registered your odd shifting and your failed attempts at plastering a smile, confused if you knew this guy and if you did, why were you freaking out so much?

Were you in love with him or something? 

The thought minutely bugged him until he watched you turn straight up uncomfortable, horrified when Mr. Won called out his son’s name. 

“Kiseok-ah! Come here!” 

You stopped breathing when you heard the name, eyes going wide as you avoided eye contact with anyone in the group, but caught Taehyung’s undivided attention. He grew curious when Kiseok sauntered over to the group, your hand on his chest suddenly squeezing his suit as the mysterious man greeted everyone respectfully.

Taehyung watched as his intrigued eyes locked on you, eyebrows perking up amusedly as his lips curved into a smile Taehyung honestly couldn’t admit to liking. 

“Y/N? Wow, long time no see. It’s been what, a year?” The man Kiseok called out happily, like there was absolutely no problem occurring here but as Taehyung felt your hand clutch onto his suit, lips just about quivering before you forced a smile, he knew there was most certainly a problem. 

“Yeah.” Your voice was weak, small, and Taehyung found himself wondering how a courageous person like you was all of a sudden cowering. 

He’d heard it all night, all the accounts of your other life away from the business world. He wasn’t going to lie, he heard a multitude of opinions concerning you, many of which including either looking down on you or telling Taehyung there’s many other, more powerful women in business he could’ve been marrying instead. 

But Taehyung didn’t care for their opinions, he found you the most powerful woman he could ever marry, and agreed to do so because of that very prospect. Sure, you were estranged from the business scene and practically abandoned any role you’d play in your father’s company in order to pursue your own personal aspirations, but if anything, Taehyung found it highly commendable. 

Taehyung knew it took guts to do what you did, a bold and daring act that no other heir or future heir of a wealthy company could ever think of doing, including himself. 

What he found to appreciate most was your unwillingness to give in, where you had to have heard all the back-handed and snobby comments, yet you still held your head up high, remained rooted and adamant in keeping your current way of life. It instantly signaled to him you were courageous, fearless, unable to be stopped in your tracks.

So when he watched you become smaller and smaller the more you stood in the vicinity of this Kiseok, he knew something was sincerely wrong. 

“Ah yes, it’s been quite some time. Why don’t we step away from you three? You could do some catching up.” Your father urged as he motioned Mr. Won to step away with him. You lightly addressed them only to have your hands neglect Taehyung entirely and start fidgeting, attempting to calm your nerves as the alcohol inebriated your system and magnified your anxiety by tenfold. 

“Ah, yes, Kim Taehyung, CEO of Kim Enterprises. I’ve been meaning to meet you.” Kiseok extended his hand as his voice irked you with every syllable, trying your best to seem like absolutely nothing was wrong. 

Taehyung reached out his hand in response uneagerly, giving a small shake while wondering why you let him go. “That’s news to me, nice to meet you.” Taehyung responded, already feeling an intense aura of discomfort and tension between you both, sensing he was missing out on something that seemed 6 ft deep. 

“Likewise. Y/N..” Kiseok suddenly turned towards you, making you wince. You painted on your smile as you lifted your vision. “Kiseok.” 

“How’ve you been?” 

“Better than ever. You?” 

“Marvelous, just wondering what your life’s looked like since I haven’t been in it.”

“I believe I said better than ever, didn’t I?”

Kiseok scoffed unamused, “So a year, huh? In all that time you suddenly found yourself a fiancé, and Kim Taehyung at that?” Kiseok seemed to be making light-hearted conversation to anyone outside of your group, though you knew deep down the hostility behind his words.

“Yeah, I did. It just happened.” You shrugged, gaining the confidence to counter him. “And you? Plan on putting a ring on any of your girls? Maybe the 5th or 7th one you liked?” You sarcastically questioned, furrowing your brows in mock contemplation. 

“No, you know I’ve always had my eye on one girl when it came to marriage.” Kiseok eyed you knowingly, purposefully, like he was trying to make it obvious.

You snorted and glared at him, “If I remember correctly, your attitude said otherwise.” hatred began boiling under your skin. You felt yourself growing angrier by the second, memories between you two coming back in flashes. You didn’t even realize you were shaking until Taehyung’s hand suddenly entangled with yours, pulling you towards him almost defensively. 

You were surprised, looking at your connected hands and back up at Taehyung. He returned your look, peering down at you as he smiled warmly, affectionately. 

“I’m sorry, Kisook? Was it? My future wife and I have plans for tonight. May you excuse us?” Taehyung didn’t even let Kiseok respond before he was pulling you away, in complete shock at his first lack of manners you’d ever seen. You were only left to watch Taehyung as he lead you along, gaining the timely opportunity to realize he was taller than Kiseok, and in fact significantly taller than you. 

Taehyung was a large man in general, you noticed. His shoulders looked broad from behind, accentuated by the fit of his suit which also emphasized the expanse of his chest, tastefully exposing his sculpted neck. His legs were long, proportioned perfectly in accordance with the rest of his model-like figure, which was ideally fit and contained just the right amount of muscle. 

Dear God, you took your time with this one. 

You didn’t even realize Taehyung had pulled you into a secluded hallway or that you were ogling him when he suddenly stopped, turning in your direction and snapping you out of a near fever dream. 

Yeah, alcohol was not a good idea tonight. 

“Who the fuck was that?” 

“What?”

“That douche, who was that?” Taehyung inquired slightly pissed, in need of the asshole’s identity after watching whatever shitshow he didn’t pay for. 

“Nobody, Taehyung, he shouldn’t concern you.” You looked away from him, pouting in a way that made Taehyung momentarily notice the plush of your lips. 

Again?, was all he could think, first, your mother, and now this guy? Just how many people did you have bad connections with and he needed to ignore? 

Why were there so many intricate pieces to you? 

“Are you kidding me? He concerns me now, your mother I can understand but this guy? Nothing to me. I could step on him.” Taehyung proclaimed confidently and stood up broader, conviction written all over his face.

You couldn’t help but giggle at his remark, resembling the thought you had earlier. “I was just thinking, you’re a lot taller than him.” 

Taehyung couldn’t help but bite back a smile, watching you giggle like a shy high schooler and his ears gladly welcomed the soft sound. “Damn straight I am.” He adjusted the jacket of his suit suavely. It was then he remembered what his other hand was doing; still holding yours. 

His eyes suddenly gleamed with mischief. 

He squeezed your hand a little tighter and yanked you towards him, bodies just centimeters apart as you crashed into him, all up in each other’s personal space.

Your eyes widened in complete surprise. 

 “So you were thinking about me, huh?” Taehyung teased with a stupidly lowered tone, a smug grin decorating his face. 

You ignored the electricity shooting through you, rolling your eyes and playfully sneering at him. “Shut up, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see you’re taller.” You forced space between you two and tried snatching your hand from him, but his grip transformed into an iron lock. 

“Says the one who was thinking about me.” 

“Taehyung, shut-” You almost huffed out but as soon as you stepped away, your copious consumption of alcohol suddenly attacked you all at once, vertigo making you lose your balance until Taehyung reached out to steady you. 

“Jheez, did you have to drink tonight?” Taehyung chastised you as you fell into him, head spinning with disorientation and growing flimsier by the second. “You’re probably a lightweight at your size.”

“I am not a lightweight. You don’t even know how much I drank, it was a lot.” You bit back in rebuttal, hooking onto his taut forearms as he supported you. 

“But I did see.” He voiced barely above a whisper, causing you to snap your vision up at him incredulously. “What?” 

“Nothing, it shouldn’t concern you.” Taehyung mocked, though still tried to fix you onto your own footing.  

You didn’t even get to scrutinize him further when you felt another round of dizziness plague you, balance faltering again. Taehyung huffed out and finally flanked you on his side, arm encasing your shoulders as he adjusted you. “Okay Miss I’m-Not-A-Lightweight, you should eat something.” He fit you beside him, beginning to walk you towards the main hall. 

Taehyung in this moment didn’t understand what he was doing, utterly clueless as to what was fueling his actions. He was uncertain why he found himself.. caring? He didn’t even know you, yet he couldn’t help but become a little concerned when he watched you down drinks like it was New Year’s Eve. 

How can all that alcohol fit into one tiny person?

What was he even thinking when he dragged you away from that Kisuk guy? Why did he feel like protecting you all of a sudden? A near sense of possessiveness? He wasn’t even your real husband. 

It started giving Taehyung a headache. This was all strange, a foreign concept he wasn’t familiar with and he didn’t know if it was the result of his considerate personality or only manifested solely because of you.

The same way Taehyung dealt with his inner turmoil, you dealt with yours; you were always so adamant on independence though ironically found yourself leaning on Taehyung.

Oddly, you let him carefully guide you back into the hall with no protests. 

It was the day of the wedding. 

You wish you could recall your emotions throughout the day, certain there would be at least a sliver of a positive one. Though as you remained unmoving, nearly catatonic, unresponsive to your surroundings, you knew there wouldn’t be a single happy memory in the tsunami of sorrow that attacked you today. 

Emotions of grief plagued consistently as you realized the loss of everything you valued most in your life. Your happiness, your freedom, your ability to choose. The stripping of all those bundled into an stifling wad in your chest that left you in a perpetual state of wanting to cry.

The sting in your heart when you realized your mother didn’t bother to come, the excruciating smile you forced onto your features when Taehyung’s mother delicately placed the veil atop your head, the secret tears you shed after adorning your body with a wedding dress you didn’t even choose; it all left you internalizing feelings of utter agony. 

And none of it was your real choice. 

Even the flowers at the wedding weren’t your favourite. 

This day was horrifying. You couldn’t believe you prided yourself on your independence, refusing to give in despite numerous challenges and never taking a word of what anyone said to you. Even when someone begged you to change or come back to your old life, you always chose for yourself. You never allowed someone to push you around, seldom coerced into anything solely based on the wishes of another. 

Yet here you were, standing just before the grand doors of a wedding you never asked for, having easily followed every word of your father’s and sacrificed your deepest principles in order to make him happy, to appease and live up to his expectations that weren’t your own. 

It was utterly frightening, appalling. As if you had lost the one true commendable feature of the intricate character you were, suddenly lost the acclamation of others even if they didn’t know the true nature of your marriage. 

But what disgusted you the most was truly, that you had lost respect for yourself. 

These grim thoughts were the ones that attached themselves to you as you hesitantly hooked your arm with your father’s. You used every ounce of strength to not flee, to remain here, to still walk down that isle with your head held high like you always have despite abandoning every foundation of the character you’d spent years working on.  

You didn’t care that your eyes watered, masking them with the facade of happy tears from the blushing bride. You didn’t care when your father looked incredibly concerned and wondered what was so wrong, you didn’t care how sorrowful you may have appeared to anyone at this ironically glamorous event. 

Though what you did care for was that you couldn’t hold your head up as you walked down the isle, vision fixated on the ground as your tears betrayed you, spilling out at the traumatizing feeling of not being able to stand tall like you always did, something stripping you of your self-reassurance, your strength, your confidence.  

It all spelled the requiem of your soul as you reached the end, dwelling in the impossibility this was happening to you until you felt the touch of Taehyung’s fingertips, guiding you up the stairs. It was then confirmed to you this was in fact real, part of your new reality you had no choice but to accept. 

You suddenly felt eternal gratitude for the veil that now covered your face, hiding the tears you cried at mourning the loss of everything you worked for.

While the priest’s words were read, you didn’t exchange a single look with Taehyung, knowing you’d only want to evaporate into the air, to run away at light speed or have someone in a turn-of-events suddenly take your life, just so you didn't have to face the humility of giving up the life you’d spent blood, sweat and tears building if you looked him in the eye. 

You felt the weight of your unknown future crushing you, pushing you towards the precipice as you gripped Taehyung’s hands harder to ground yourself. 

You were to rely on Taehyung, to share a bond with him you had never spent time cultivating, expected to live a life next to him while never being able to truly understand him, know him, love him. The natural process of falling in love now tainted with the coercion of a pressurized marriage, losing the opportunity to achieve any true sense of love. You’d never experience finding the one anymore, your soulmate, the other end of your red string of fate. 

That realization made your tears spill harder, disconnecting your hand from Taehyung’s to prevent your choked sobs becoming audible, holding your palm against your quivering lips. 

To anyone beyond you and Taehyung, it would look as though you were crying tears of happiness, joyously weeping at your matrimony with the love of your life, though as Taehyung felt the shaking of your hands, your refusal to meet his gaze as you reluctantly walked down the isle, the agonizing pain he could see through the sheer of your veil, he knew you were far from happy. 

He couldn’t help but purse his lips together tightly, knowing you were probably swallowing insurmountable torment down your throat because of this marriage, and tears pricked at his own eyes finding himself able to relate. 

He wasn’t just upset for you or himself, it was the entire situation, quite frankly the fucking world. The fact that the universe planned this as your destiny, his destiny, that the happiness of your parents and two companies came at the expense of both yours and his.

He knew you didn’t hate him, that he wasn’t the reason just as much as you weren’t the reason either, it was the arbitrary nature of the arrangement. That whatever version of true love and happily ever after you and Taehyung had separately dreamed of, it could never come to life. 

Even if the company meant everything to Taehyung, his CEO position more important than whatever position he’d play as some husband, seldom having time to consider love and relationships, he still harboured the same wants and desires any human would. A partner, a companion he truly loved with whom he’d start a family eventually, create a life for them and himself defined by love and comfort.

Though Taehyung only knew now you would both die with your decision-making capabilities robbed of you, bound to each other forcibly without the ardor of real love. 

Taehyung’s every thought was proven correct when the two of you exchanged your vows in near strangled chokes and shaky tones, appearing as happy emotions to the guests of the wedding though only you two knowledgeable of each other’s suffering. 

Your vision finally met Taehyung’s once you heard the rawness in his voice, your miserable emotions doubling when you registered he was just in the same pain as you. It was in that moment the priest’s words became audible and rang loud in both your ears, suddenly grounding you two to earth and reminding you of your reality. 

“You may kiss the bride.”

Both of your eyes grievously locked for a moment of horrified realization; that you were seconds away from going through with this, throwing each other’s lives away for the utilitarian benefit, abandoning any sense of choice in whom you both would spend a lifetime with.

Taehyung swallowed thickly as he removed your veil, feeling his eyes fill with tears again when he laid them upon your utterly devastated, tear-stained face. You were using every nerve in your body to stop yourself from sobbing and caving into the ominous thought of fleeing the ceremony.  

Taehyung’s sight wondered to your lips as they still quivered, nearly swollen red at the intensity in which you bit them, awaiting the kiss you were certain would be filled with frustration and hatred, hatred for the mud you were dragging him through, hatred for pressuring him into suddenly valuing something more than his work and his company, to suddenly become a husband to you. 

Though as he watched the terror flashing through your eyes, tears watering your lash line, he knew he could never feel anything so ardently negative towards you, remembering exactly what he was stripping you of. 

The life you built on your own, defying any and everyone’s expectations of yourself, cursing your heir status to hell, your strength, your independence. Now? Your life was bound to his, bound to one where you were obliged to sacrifice yourself for your father’s company and the upper class cesspool you’d spent so long trying to run away from. 

So as Taehyung began closing the gap between you two, nearing your shaking figure, he resolved he wouldn’t make this hard. He would try, try to accept that his life now entailed you, would try to work towards the balance his father insisted he needed, try to understand that you were now part of his priorities and could never simply ignore you.  

He glided his thumbs against the back of your hands that held his pacifyingly, leaning down until he was just inches from your lips as you squeezed your eyes shut. He unexpectedly spoke quietly, meaningfully, seconds away from sealing the deal of an uncertain future, though, remained certain of this one thing. 

“I’ll take care of you, Y/N, I promise.” And he kissed you in a single breath, no haste, no pressure, only the gentle touch of his lips as they met yours, soft and light. 

Maybe Taehyung didn’t know the exact feelings behind his promise, but he knew the meaning; that no matter the arrangement, the non-existent feelings, the loss of choice, he would at least take care of you like any husband would, a good husband.  

He at least owed you that.  

You were left shocked at the nature of his kiss, Taehyung’s warm lips connecting with yours tenderly. You were convinced the tears you saw in his eyes were enough to assert he hated this, frustrated he had to sell his soul, wishing to only rush the kiss so he could call it a day and ignore you for the rest of his life. 

Though what you never expected was the promise he made, or the way he kissed you with such intimacy you found yourself melting into his touch, reciprocating. He kissed you like you were fragile, locking your lips in a way that solidified his promise, as if out of all the empty vows you spoke today, this was the one, true vow he would keep. His lips felt plush against yours, catching his mouth just a little more before the bittersweet disconnection. 

You and Taehyung exchanged a poignant look, small smiles decorating both your faces with a mutual understanding swimming in your eyes as you gripped each other’s hands. You let his promise permeate the air between you two, finding solace in his words as the applause of everyone attending the ceremony filled the hall.   

Maybe it was the warm way Taehyung always pressed his hand to the small of your back when you spoke to others the whole night, maybe the way he veered you away from excessive amounts of alcohol with a light-hearted scolding considering that last time you drank, or maybe even the way he gently held you during your first dance..

Maybe it was all these considerate, kinds act that made you view Taehyung in a less negative light and rather a favourable one, that maybe he wouldn’t be the asshole CEO you’d first accused him of being.  

You would also be an idiot to not mention how completely and utterly handsome he was, looks carved by the Greeks themselves, quite possibly the hottest, most attractive man you’ve ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. 

And maybe all that accumulated into your assured opinion that when it came to consummating your marriage with Taehyung, you’d have no qualms or worries whatsoever. You would be absolutely willing, ready to take the night on and maybe even have some fun for yourself with whom you could tell was a really, really nice guy.

Though as Taehyung walked calmly in front of you towards your hotel suite, reaching into his suit pocket for the card key he’d retrieved at the front desk to swipe against the lock, your chest clogged with a crushing feeling of anxiety you couldn’t subdue. 

These weren’t the same nerves of maybe being not pretty enough, body insecurities or fear of what to expect from Taehyung, no, these nerves came from the utter panic of having to experience sex with another man.

Especially since your last partner. 

It always started with your permission, that wasn’t the issue, Though what left you afraid, so utterly frightened with the thought of spending a night with a man like this came from the treatment you received from that partner. 

Safe to say, you weren’t treated kindly. Far from that, actually, you were treated as though you had no needs or were a means of simple use. Your last partner was the opposite of giving, he was selfish, self-absorbed and only concerned himself with his own pleasure, going on and on only until he was satisfied and neglected you in every sense of the word, sometimes even refusing to listen to you if you protested. 

To make matters worse, he wasn’t faithful. 

You knew he slept around, a lot, it was the number one reason you never agreed to actually date him, never make things official. 

But the reason you would end up sleeping with him was because of the most perfectly imperfect concept among the human race; love. You believed every time with him was a new chance to make that love real, that it was the genuine manifestation of your feelings for one another, thinking maybe he wasn’t the asshole he always portrayed himself as and could man up enough to love you unconditionally. 

And he completely reeled you in, made you fall in love too quickly and made you believe he was capable of love. This grew exponentially when you were often described as ‘the different one’, the one he always came back to, that you were special. You clung onto those words as much as you could, convinced each time you were in fact the one for him, that maybe one day, he’d wake up and abandon his fuckboy lifestyle and mature.

But everyday that went by, every promise that was never fulfilled, every word that wasn’t met with an action, and especially after every hook up that resulted in nothing new, you began to understand you were everyone’s favourite role in a Shakespearean play. 

The fool. 

You were a joke to believe anything he said, the most naive person on earth to think you were any different from the others, when every night simply ended in rough fucks, virtually no orgasm and miniscule aftercare.

It left you essentially scarred, traumatized that every man in the world was built like this. It didn’t help that whenever you look back, many of your ex partners were of the same cut, the same trope of assholes that don’t seem as bad but end up being exactly so. 

It was what made you swallow thickly as Taehyung opened the door to the suite, holding it open as he moved aside to let you enter first. You walked forward and unintentionally brushed against him, realizing how much smaller you were in comparison to him all over again. 

He towered over you, and it made you more nervous. 

You looked up at him momentarily and quietly thanked him as you stepped inside, setting your sights on the large, king sized bed situated on one side of the room, a lounging area with couches to the other side which lead to a bathroom. Seoul’s breathtaking skyline was visible in the dark of the night through wall-to-ceiling windows opposite to you, covered by flowy, sheer curtains. 

You took a deep breath, trying to remind yourself Taehyung was not the same. Not all men are the same, you can’t inflict the mistakes and wrongdoings of one man onto another, categorize them into one kind. You wanted to think this way, and you knew it was the humane way to think. 

But as the memories of those heart-aching nights filled your head, the empty words, the lack of care or concern, the neglect, the feelings of pure abandonment and use only caused your heart to beat profusely in your chest, clutching onto the neckline of your dress to breathe. 

What if Taehyung really was no different?

It then suddenly hit you you didn’t know him. All you knew of Taehyung was that he was a fiercely successful business man, sitting atop Seoul’s most prestigious with Godly looks and a stare that could kill a man. You remembered your initial feelings about him; his stare in fact intimidated you, quite frankly all of him intimidated you, he was the epitome of perfection and you were far from that very notion. It left you thinking you didn’t measure up, and that he could view you in a dissimilar light than you viewed him; an unfavorable one. 

He could simply not want you, but is forced to.  

You’d observed his kind behavior and actions over the odd two days you met him, though that was exactly the inculpatory factor; you had only met him twice. You didn’t know what he would be like alone, when it was just the two of you, when there weren’t eyes scrutinizing him and cameras snapping shots of his every move. 

You didn’t know how he would be like in the bedroom, either. 

Your mind raced as you conflicted with yourself, trying to understand that Taehyung could be different, though apprehensive with the miniscule knowledge you actually had of him. 

You discerned after that last asshole of a partner you needed the love and care of a real partner, someone who would tend to your needs, adore you in the midst of their actions, be a giver and not just a receiver.  

And you didn’t know if Taehyung would be that partner. 

“Y/N...” Taehyung called out to you rather softly as he removed his suit jacket, the rustling of the cloth signaling he had indeed done so. His footsteps were hard to miss, the soles of his shoes sounding against the hardwood floor as he neared your lonesome figure standing in the middle of the room. 

Your breathing quickened with nearly every step he took, attempting to resolve the civil war you were battling within. You were trying to convince yourself Taehyung would be a nice man, a nice husband; though couldn’t help but feel deflated by the fact it was all mainly coerced out of him.

Your thoughts overwhelmed you as Taehyung finally stood behind you, mere inches from your back as he watched you from behind, unbeknownst of any feelings or thoughts currently riddling you.

He hesitated, though gently placed his hand against your bare arm, the sudden warmth of his hand against your skin causing you to flinch. He peered down at your smaller self squarely focusing in front of you, anticipating your response. He grew slightly soft when you tentatively looked over your shoulders, clearly teary-eyed. 

Taehyung couldn’t miss how scared you seemed, and he his heart inexplicably stung at the thought you were afraid of him. 

“We don’t have to do this.” Taehyung’s voice was low and resembled warm honey, reverberating in a way that made you ease up. 

You worked towards a stable voice. “W-we don’t?” 

“No, we don’t” His voice held no disappointment, only the intention of seemingly wanting to assure you, firm and oddly comforting. 

“I’m sorry, Taehyung. I’m really sorry.” It was hard to keep your tone leveled, clutching your hand over your mouth as you swallowed your emotions. 

“Don’t be sorry, there’s nothing for you to apologize for.” 

You strangely felt the desire to hold his hand that rested against you, though you ignored the urge and simply stepped out of his touch, clutching your chest tightly in an effort to cower away from him. But it was here you suddenly remembered that he kissed you, and the way he did so. 

It made your cheeks fill with a rosy blush. 

“Do you mean that?” You’d finally turned to meet his eyes, his face only visible by the moonlight illuminating the room. He seemed to have retracted his hand and stood with both tucked in his pockets, relaxed. 

This became the first time you noticed just how ravishing he looked tonight. 

His dark hair was slicked back loosely and left enough pieces to fall as a comma, graciously exposing his forehead, his Tom Ford suit attractively hugged his model-like body, watch and accessories accentuating his expensive look. 

His features were casted over by soft lighting, somehow adding to his beauty as the glow made him appear... less intimidating, dare you say warm or inviting. 

His expression was funnily enough, one that you could actually read. He held no contempt, no impatience or anger, only a hint of consideration as his calm eyes looked at you. His face may have been predominantly blank, void of a smile, though certainty held a form of reassurance.  

“Of course I do, why would I do anything with an unwilling person?”

You scoffed lightly, “Not a lot of people would say that.” Your eyes faltered from Taehyung’s and clutched yourself tighter, expression completely telling of trauma.

Taehyung instantly picked up on it, eyebrows slightly furrowing at your words though softening once registering their weight. He felt an overwhelming sense of apology take him, thinking of his next sentence before his mind oddly flashed back to the night of the engagement party.

“Y/N, did Kiseok..?” Taehyung trailed hesitantly. 

You winced at his line of thinking, “No, no...not what you’re thinking,” you immediately denied. “Just, shitty experiences.”

“Shitty, as in...?”

“As in only seeking self-satisfaction, neglect, lies, infidelity. Can we go to sleep?” You deflected with a heavy sigh and a hand at your temple, the day’s events catching up to you.

Taehyung nodded in agreement, “Yeah, sleep. We both need that.” His eyes then landed on the bed, registering even if it were large enough you two could sleep apart, he still opted for caution. 

“Um.. you can take the bed, by the way. I’ll sleep on the couch-”

“No, don’t do that.” You replied quickly. “I can’t sleep on a king-sized bed all by myself, it’s huge.” You side-eyed the massive mattress and laughed a little, lightening the heavy aura casted over the room. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to be uncomf-”

“Don’t worry, Taehyung. You don’t make me feel uncomfortable.” You smiled at him lightly and received a small one from him, both your eyes mirroring the same sense of understanding you exchanged at the altar. 

“I’ll let you wash up first, your overnight bag should be in the bathroom closet.” Taehyung informed, pointing towards the direction of your things. 

“Thank you.” You voiced with an amount of warmth that made Taehyung want to genuinely smile, though crushed the weird urge and nodded agreeably instead.

You began walking away from him until a nuisance suddenly occurred to you, cursing yourself as you came to a full stop. “Um, Taehyung.. I forgot but could you..?” You angled your back towards him to call out to the ribbons tying the back of your dress, knowing you would’ve taken 20 years just to untie your bodice yourself. 

The fact that you weren’t looking directly at Taehyung made him feel relieved, glad he wouldn’t embarrass himself with the his eyes slightly widened. He was quick to reprimand himself, it’s just a woman’s dress, why the hell are you shocked? 

Taehyung swallowed dryly before replying, “Uh, yeah I’ll--I’ll do that.” He walked towards you sparingly and positioned himself behind you.

He’d noticed it before, but you were relatively small compared to him in size and it continued to poke at his brain, maybe even momentarily think it was cute. 

Cute? When have I ever found a girl cute?

Taehyung exhaled before his hands carefully made for the silk ribbons, his tentative fingers fiddling with the ties until he eventually began loosening each one. He started unlooping your bodice, breathing out considerably when each loop began exposing your back inch by inch.  

Taehyung’s sweet, hot breath fanned your skin, tensing each time as your every nerve went haywire feeling just how close he was. His slender fingers brushed against your bare skin here and there, making heat collect in your face.

You grew even hotter when your kiss with him suddenly crept back into your mind, unknowing of the reason why excitement and electricity shot throughout your body because of it. The way his soft, full lips met yours, mouthed at you tastefully repeated in your head, making you extremely nervous at how much a measly kiss from him was occupying your mind; it was just a kiss. 

Taehyung found himself tensing by the intimacy of the moment, remembering the way he so boldly kissed you. He found that he liked the plush of your lips, the way he had to bend down to your smaller height to lock lips; and it made him feel strange. 

How the hell was he taking interest in something other than his work? No, this isn’t interest, Taehyung thought, and would spend however long denying it. 

He’d finished the task throughout all his thinking, unrealizing of how proximal he was to you. He oddly hated that the moment was over, coming back down to Earth.

“There you go.” He cleared his voice and stepped away from you. 

You held your bodice up against your chest, realizing Taehyung had a full-access view of your back and you grew 10x hotter. You gulped at the thought before hastily turning around to thank him, quickly disappearing into the bathroom for a moment of reprieve. 

You shut the door and instantly breathed out a breath you didn’t remember holding, looking at your hot mess of a face in the mirror trying to cool down, reliving the last 10 minutes of what just happened. 

You took a deep breath. 

Maybe Taehyung is different after all. 

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[absolutebl]

Hey! I have two questions to ask you if you don't mind! Sorry for pestering you with kinda stuff but you are real insightful and help me to sort out my own internal feelings on things!

Is it just me or do very, VERY few BL's ever manage to stick an engaging,solid ending?

Out of all the BL's I've watched, the only ones I can name that truly nailed the ending imo are:

- HIStory 3: Trapped (imo. I know the ambiguity isn't appealing to you.)

- Bad Buddy

- My Beautiful Man

- His (The Movie)

- Blueming (The series itself is rife with pacing issues to me, but I think it stuck the ending really good.)

- Gaya Sa Pelikula

Some can come close enough for me;

- Theory of Love (yeah, yeah, I hate Khai too but the ending was nice imo)

- ITSAY/IPYTM

- TMS1 (suffers a bit from the HDS's consistent struggle with pacing towards the latter end of all her work )

- Old Fashion Cupcake (so close!!!)

- Restart After Come Back Home

- Cherry Magic

Most BL's introduce nonsense conflicts towards the end of the series with the Epsiode 11 drama (shivers in 2gether). I can't stand it when the final conflict comes out of LITERALLY nowhere instead of having been a continued issue that is resolved towards the end (think Cherry Magic, Utsukushii Kare, Bad Buddy, etc.)

Going further, they never seem...satisfying for whatever reason and I can't pinpoint why that is. I'm not necessarily left wanting more but feel like what I was given was unsatisfactory. Think a more subtle version of the feeling of seeing Vee/Maek end up together in the En of Love version (or Khai/Third for you I guess).

I wonder looking at it now if my hatred for the seme/uke trope has spoilt so many couples for me that I find any ending where they get together as unsatisfactory (I love The Effect btw. Can you guess why lmao?). All the shows in my best list are either very low on Seme/uke dynamics or have a very soft seme archetype (Blueming) / very unique seme archetype (MBM).

God I should just get over this contempt of seme/uke fuckery. Its ruined so much for me (from WBL, to UWMA).

Know how? Also, is there any particular reason you see as for why BL's fail to stick the landing? Or am I making this up?

Second question is simple. Why do BL couples often become boring when they get together and are happy? Is it just that the chase is over? And if so, what can be done to keep such a story engaging if anything at all?

Now that I read this back, it definitely isn't two questions as much as a set of compound ones but eh, here goes nothing.

Is my unhinged ranting coherent at all?

Honestly you named a lot of ones that I dinged points specifically because I didn’t like their endings. Old Fashion Cupcake and Cherry Magic would probubly have been 10/10 for me if the characters had just kissed at the end. And I say this totally aware of Japanese cinematic traditions that dictated why they wouldn’t, I’m just grumpy. 

To answer the second question first:

Why do BL couples often become boring when they get together and are happy? Is it just that the chase is over? And if so, what can be done to keep such a story engaging if anything at all?

Yes. This is the problem every romance series contends with. This is why most romances end with the couple getting together (sex, engagement, marriage), This is why I don’t like second seasons, they usually have to separate or break up the couple to give the story tension. 

And now... your unhinged ranting!

It makes perfect sense, and I think you either 

don't really like 3 act structure (did you watch a lot of anime growing up, per chance? maybe not so much (or really dislike) Disney stuff?) or, 

more likely, you don't actually like romance.

Not the idea of romance, but the classic romance novel beats and pacing. The Taiwanese and Thai stuff in particular tends to stick to that consistently. (Hence the ep 11 crisis of doom, AKA the unnecessary break up.)

Korea has a western romance aesthetic but they often shoe-horn in 4 act structure, which is why we get that (to me) super weird disjointed thing in Kdramas where they break up the couple (or separate them with time/distance) in the last 1/3 of the final episode and the rush this odd reunion thing in the last 10 minutes. I find this maddening, but it does mean that their non-BL billed and early gay short stuff might appeal to you. 

You don't mention it but Thousand Stars is probubly the most classically paced and executed romance novel in BL form that we have ever gotten. How’d you feel about that ending. I’d also be interested in your thoughts on Seven Days (of course) as that’s Japan’s version of the perfect love story. 

I think you probubly like more experimental narratives and arthouse cinema styles. I’d encourage you to check out short form BL, especially those from Strongberry (Korea) on GaGa. Also Dark BL depending on your squick factor. 

But honestly from what you said it seems like you’re a prime candidate for the following:

Moody Arthouse Smackdoodle

Your Name Engraved Herein (Taiwan 2020 Netflix) - this movie is fantastic but it is also seriously depressing, it’s a self acceptance journey, but if you wanna wallow in high quality acting and serious gay drama, this’ll do it. It’s nto a super sad ending, it’s not happy either. 

Goodbye Mother AKA Thua Me Con D (Vietnam 2019 Netflix) - like YNEH this is a great movie but it deals openly with homophobia, bashing, family trauma and social acceptance.

The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese AKA Kyuso wa Chizu no Yume wo Miru (Japan 2020) - obsession, cheating, breakup, reunion, then break up again, explicit, grey characters and grey concepts including morality. 

Pornographer movie series - AKA The Novelist, Mood Indigo, Pornographer Playback (Japan 2018-2020) emotional manipulation, cheating, obsession, seduction, May/December (age gap AKA younger/older), kink, touch of necrophilia, explicit, complicated but ultimately... not sad.  

Method (Korea 2017) - May/December, actor idol pairing, that should have been everything I wanted in life but it’s more about the actor cheating on his wife and their weird “artsy” relationship and frankly, I hated this. And I don’t say that lightly. The chemistry and acting can’t be faulted though and the story is... interesting. 

His the series AKA I Didn’t Think I Would Fall In Love (Japan 2019) - boy goes to visit his absent father ends up kinda homeless on the beach gets adopted by local family falls in love with the boy working and living with them. Lots of long drawn out glances. Wistfully pretty. 

Innocent (Taiwan 2021 GaGa) - mental health, childhood trauma, actually kinda sweet.

Does the Flower Bloom? (Japan 2018) - this is a May/December romance about an artist student and the house he inherits from his recently dead parents and all the people around him who are obsessed with him, including an older man. 

Dark Blue and Moonlight (Taiwan 2017) - maybe? You like some of my least favorites, so this might be your thing. I sure as shit wasn’t mine but also it HAD ME HOOKED even though I didn’t want that. It’s the warped version of a CEO romance. 

Also the “it’s a BL but I make no case for it” category: 

Life: Love on the Line (Japan) - you would probubly NOT like the directer’s cut (which I prefer, of course) that ending is too saccharine, so go for the original. 

Silhouette of Your Voce (Japan) You are one of the few people I think would really like this one. 

Not Me (Thailand) - you don’t mention it but I assume you’ve seen it 

Manner of Death (Thailand) - same 

3 Will be Free (Thailand) - same, if not, watch this next  

What Did You Eat Yesterday? (Japan) - there is not plot, so yeah, maybe that’ll work for ya? 

Long Time No See (Korea) - SO GOOD, but edgy and twisted too 

DNA Says Love You (Taiwan) - maybe. This one is... odd and oddly paced. 

Joujou Pure Heart (Japan 2010) 

Great Men Academy (Thailand) 

Oh right and the bromance dirty half dozen:

Untamed

Word of Honor 

The Guardian 

Devil Judge 

SCI Mysteries 

All of these have ambiguous ends, and ambiguous (cough cough not gay)  relationships. 

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 9 “Trapped In The Closet” [Episode List] Following the most blatant sit-com tropes you can think of, Dave decides to spy on his girlfriend, Dana, because he thinks she’s hiding something. Tim reluctantly decides to join his friend, but the two end up stuck in the girl’s closet, which will eventually turn into a gas chamber.

Trapped In The Closet

“Yeah Dana. Sure. No problem.”

Tim was working on some college tasks, but couldn’t help but to eavesdrop Dave’s conversation with his girlfriend, Dana, on the phone. He could only hear his friend’s replies, which being only the 50% of what they were talking about, it didn’t make a lot of sense. Not that he was interested: Dave was simply hanging out in his room because he had nothing better to do during that warm Summer evening, apparently, and so he simply showed up to Tim’s place with a couple of beers and a remarkable amount of procrastination powers.

Despite being relatively hot outside, Dave was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of long, grey levi jeans, kinda loose as usual. Something that Tim hated about his kink is how quickly he checked his friend’s outfit, something that he always did since Dave is now basically his “fart bud”, against all odds.

“Yeah… yeah… I love you. No… I love you more!”

Kinda funny how Dave, 24, would revert back to an awkward teenager at times whenever he and his girlfriend were on the phone. They probably even acted like that on purpose, because love is doing stupid things together after all.

“Tim. Car. Now!”

Dave hung up and turned weirdly serious, got up and walked downstairs, saying something about getting in the car.

“Wait, what?” Tim asked, questioning whether his friend was being serious or not, but he did follow him to wherever he was going.

“We don’t have much time, Tim. Dana will come back soon. She’s out with her own friends and we have… like… 15 minutes.”

The two walked outside and headed towards the girls’ house, actually only a few blocks away from Tim’s. Tim himself reluctantly followed his bro into this, knowing that, at best, it may turn into a funny mishap to tell to their other pals while being drunk and laugh about it.

“I’ll just pretend your words make any sense, like I usually do…” Tim chuckled, sarcastically, but still following his friend.

“I think she’s hiding something.” Dave explained, walking at a fast pace, Tim right behind him. “She’s been strangely elusive lately and I want to check her room for clues.”

Tim just chuckled in response. “Dave, you do realize that this is not a 90s sit-com, right? Her room? Really? What are you hoping to find out, exactly, anyway? That she’s having some kind of affair behind your back?” he asked, trying to reason with him.

“An affair? You think I’m that kind of guy?” Dave answered, looking surprisingly offended by Tim’s question.   “I just want to make sure she’s fine. She seemed worried about something and she’s like this organized haf-woman/half-machine hybrid who keeps sticky notes in her room to keep an eye on her busy life.”

“Oh…” Tim replied, rather sarcastically.   “Now that makes a lot of sense.”

“Leave your sassiness for later, dork. Can we take your car?” Dave asked.

“Why? We’re already right in front of her house…”

Dave realized that he was so worried that they did, in fact, walked for a couple of blocks and found themselves stepping in Dana’s backyard without even noticing. He just laughed a bit about it.

“Sorry. Love makes me blind.” he joked, knowing that it was a rather silly thing to say anyway.

“Not the words I would have used, but ok.” Tim answered.

“Come on, let’s get inside.” his bro said, with a smirk.  

“Alright… but please, let’s keep a low profile and no awkwa-”

But as they approached to the girl’s house, Dave awkwardly started muttering some kind of theme song that was oddly reminiscent of the Mission Impossibile’s most iconic soundtrack. This guy has a girlfriend, everyone.

“So much for keeping a low profile, Ethan Hunt…” Tim joked.

Dana’s room, following the usual   “average american house tropes” that the writer of this story grew up with in the 90s, was on the second floor. Luckily, the house was empty, so both Tim and Dave could easily climb it without fearing of someone noticing their totally legal actions.

“Look at Tim, such a rebel! Such a fast climber!” Dave whispered, noticing how good Tim was at climbing the girl’s house.

“Thanks. I learned it when I visited your mom.” he joked.

“I thought you’d prefer my dad, you know.” Dave played along, with a rather noticeable reference to Tim’s homosexuality.

“Just… just let’s get done with this.”  

After some awkward climbing, the two found themselves in front of a window leading to Dana’s room. The duo was sitting on a small portion of slanted roof, wondering how to get inside.

“Alright. I could just punch through the window and open it. But you know I don’t like violence against windows.” Dave said, somewhat joking, but really trying to come up with a way to get through this final obstacle.

“Never mind, it’s open.” Tim said, as his hand passed right through the window.   “Or, you know, I got ghost powers all of the sudden, but I doubt it.”

“You’re so funny I forgot to laugh.” Dave commented, as he got inside his girlfriend’s room, making sure no one was there, immediately followed by his sassy friend.

The room was fairly big and messy, books and magazines scattered all around the floor and the bed. Dana was a busy woman: she got a degree in economics but, given the tough times, she had troubles finding a decent job lately. Dave actually suspected that this was the reason she was being nervous about, well, everything, understandably.

“Why don’t you just ask her instead of acting like the perfect boyfriend material that you are?” Tim stated, in his usual snarky tone, noticing Dave basically rummaging through Dana’s more personal stuff.

“Just… let me do my thing ok?” he was serious again, trying to find something that could be clue, deep down knowing that all of that was quite non-sense and even ridiculous, but his stubbornness was showing.   “Wait…”

Something drew his attention. A red (therefore important, according to Dana’s code) sticky note on the nightstand. Something was written on it.

“Oh… I guess I was right…” Dave whispered, eyes glued on the note.

“Something about her job?”  

But Tim didn’t get an answer, as they heard someone coming from downstairs. They probably were so focused on their mission that didn’t even notice how someone got inside the house minutes after them. They went silent and tried to listen to the person’s footsteps.

“Yeah. I’ll keep you posted.”

They heard a muffled female voice getting closer, probably talking on her phone. A voice that was very familiar.

“Fuck! It’s Dana!” Dave whispered.

The two looked around, looking for a quick solution or a place to hide, blatantly ignoring the window they used to get inside in the first place.

“The closet!” Dave said.

Without even questioning whether this was a good idea or not, the duo sneaked inside Dana’s closet and closed themselves inside just as the girl came into her room, still talking on the phone about something.

Tim and Dave managed to mess things up however, as they ended up in a very small section of that apparently big, spacious closet, so they had to arrange themselves in a weird position. Dave was standing up, towering over Tim, who found himself sitting on the floor instead, right behind his friend… with his face perfectly aligned with his loose jeans butt. As his eyes got adjusted to the dark, Tim started to distinguish the seams and texture’s on Dave’s jeans ass, and the tiny red Levi tag on the right back pocket. He couldn’t help but take a look, which he felt really unnecessary, given the context.

“So… this is where you lived for most of your life…” Dave joked, looking around, as if the closet was some kind of fancy mansion.

“Haha! Another gay joke! Great timing, Dave!” Tim muttered instead. The last thing they had to do was talk.

The two waited for a couple of minutes, hoping that Dana would just leave again or even just go downstairs, so they’d have enough time to get out of there in the hopes that Dave didn’t leave any clue of his presence.

“As long a we remain silent…” Tim whispered.   “We have nothing to worry about.”

Only moments after saying that, he felt a very familiar sound greeting his face. It was a long, rumbling sound coming from Dave’s denim ass. It was one of his usual, well-known loud farts, a fart that he was desperately trying to keep as silent as possible. Luckily, Dana was too busy with her phone to even notice the weird noise coming from inside of her closet.

“Dave! What the fuck?!” Tim hissed.

The gassy friend tried not to laugh, realizing how idiotic the whole situation was.   “I’m sorry dude.” he murmured.   “You know what happens when I’m nervous!”  

The smell was unbearable already. Being in a such small space didn’t certainly help. Those were probably some of the smelliest farts Dave ever managed to rip in Tim’s face, although this time was, against all odds, more like an accident.

“Tim…” Dave whispered, carefully placing his butt closer to his friend’s face.

Another fart erupted, sounding dangerously louder than the previous one. The rough surface of Dave’s denim gently caressed Tim’s nose. The blast of gas then turned into something much more subtle, but still otherwise bubbly. Tim felt his nose burn, as really he had no choice but to breath all of that in.

“Dave I swear. If you don’t stop, Dana’s gonna–”

But another   “slow-paced” rumbly fart cut him off. Dave was seriously trying to contain his well-known farting abilities. Tim, instead, was trying to remain calm, feeling like the Universe was somehow messing with him. That was an insane situation: he certainly wasn’t new to Dave’s farts, but in that context, it felt almost like one of his weird dreams about his fart fetish.

“Tim I’m sorry, at least I know you don’t mind… I hope”

Funnily enough, despite the slightly amused tone in his whispering voice, Dave sounded genuinely sorry. Yet he was right: Tim was insanely enjoying it, but knowing that Dana was out there made the whole thing almost surreal. And, once again, as much as Dave always proved so chill about this stuff, he couldn’t help but feel somehow awkward about having his friend face-farting him so non-chalantly.

And yet another   “ninja” fart was ripped all over his face.   Being nervous really turned Dave’s stomach into a messy cloud of gas, and Tim’s nose was there to vacuum it all up, completely defenseless, standing before the sheer power of the gassy friend’s powerful denim-covered anus.

Even though the situation was absurd, Dave couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. After all, the smell hit him too, and it was getting insane even for the farter himself, whose gas just didn’t stop building up.

“Sorry bro… I have to do this.” he whispered.

Tim felt Dave’s hands gently grabbing the back of his head, holding it still, as he pulled him in the clutches of his denim butt. The warm fabric of the jeans was soaking in that unbearable smell. The sniffer then felt the weight of his gassy friend almost crushing his skull. Despite being dark, Tim realized that Dave was basically sitting on him, using his head as some kind of human stool.

The fart was directly ripped in Tim’s mouth at that point, that rumbly sound once again renewing the already destructive stench. It was supposed to be loud, so loud, that Dave had to basically use his friend’s face to deadpan its impressive thunderous noise. The gassy bro was trying to rip it in the form of a long series, hoping that Dana would fail to hear (or even recognize) his well-known gross, but rather impressive talent.

Tim heard his friend’s sighs of relief after each, rumbling fart, but Dave was also trying not to burst into a laughter that could blow their cover. Fart fetish or not, he couldn’t help but to find it more hilarious than gross.

As much as the lack of space in that closet wouldn’t really allow it, Dave even lifted his right leg a bit, while still   “sitting” on his stool-friend, as a way to facilitate the impressive amount of gas gushing out from his anus. It’s not like he had to worry about Tim passing out or finding it too gross, anyway.

That fart itself was lasting longer than both of them anticipated. They lost count of how much time passed, probably a full minute. Tim’s face was warm and sweaty now, still trapped in the clutches of his gassy bro’s denim butt, directly living in person that thin line between Fart Heaven and Fart Hell.

A final sigh of relief, followed by a louder toot and a chuckle.   “Sorry, bud.” Dave muttered, hoping that his plan worked.

Indeed, Dana didn’t hear a thing. She hung up and left the room, her footsteps slowly turning into a far, muffled sound, until silence announced that the duo was now free to get the heck out of there, especially considering how they were almost both choking on farts.

Tim forgot what fresh, non-fart air felt like in his nostrils and so took a deep, refreshing breath the moment he stepped out of that gas closet. Ironically, Dave did the same, maybe even wondering how would Tim even endure something as overwhelming as his farts, but he didn’t really mind anyway. Despite everything, that was oddly hilarious, as the two stared at each other and then bursted into a laughter.

“Now let’s get out of here…” the farter suggested.

But before the two could even walk towards the window, Dana showed up again in her own room. She didn’t even startle.

“What are you two doing here?” she asked, sounding more like an inquisitive mom than an angry girlfriend. She was fairly mature, after all. “I don’t know what you Dumb and Dumber are up to, but I swear if you–”

“I heard the news, Dana. We were just outside your window…” Dave explained, slightly tweaking the truth. “We wanted to play a stupid scary prank but then I heard it, while you were on the phone you know…”

Dana shook her head and laughed a bit. She hugged her boyfriend and kissed him.

“Yes! I got the job!” she giggled. “Sorry I’ve been so cold lately. The job interview made me so nervous…”

“It’s fine, Dana. You’ve always been stone-cold anyway!” Dave joked, earning a playful slap on his chest by his girlfriend.

“Yes, that’s a very import–wait what’s that smell?” the girl asked, sniffling loudly the air around him.

Tim’s heart almost stopped while Dave did his best to not just laugh like an immature prankster. His hair, clothes, skin, were completely “soaked” in his gassy bro’s gas, so naturally he’d himself smell like flatulence.

“Never mind. It must be you, Dave. He farts like crazy when he’s nervous, Tim, I swear.” she said, disgusted but slightly amused as well.

“Ow… it’s part of my charm, babe.” Dave replied, using what he would have considered an irresistible flirty tone of voice, which was super awkward instead.

“And yeah. Tim’s very aware of my skills, right?” he joked, winking at him, like the big teasing bastard he’s always been since he found out about his fart kink.

Tim just shrugged, faking a disgusted look, his heart racing fast, knowing that all he had to do after that was take the biggest shower in the hope that such unbearable stench didn’t fuse with the atoms in his body.

“Well, it’s gonna be a wild ride!” Dana exulted, happy about her new job offer.

“How about a round of beers to celebrate?” Tim suggested. “It’s on me, no worries.”

“Great idea, but I’m paying. I got the job, you dumb-dumbs get to drink!” Dana replied. She was in a very good mood.

“It’s fine, Dana! It’s the least we can do after-“ but Dave interrupted him.

“Come on Tim, stop living in outdated gender roles and let the pretty girl buy you a drink.” he said, faking a serious tone.

The girlfriend simply rolled her eyes and left the room “Just… meet me downstairs when you’re done saving the world, ok?”

As Dana was nowhere in sight, Dave simply turned to Tim and let another huge, long one rip.

“Shhh. Just tying up some loose ends here.” he said, shushing the gay friend, blasting what was left of his gas out.

“Are you finish-“ “Not yet” he simply said, as if he was making sure no particle of gas was left behind.

With one high pitched final note that was met with some immature laughter, Dave sighed in relief.

“With that said” he chuckled “You might want to take a shower.”

Tim simply nodded with an unamused expression.

“Oh, and you might want to leave the other closet you’ve been hiding.”

That was out of nowhere.

“No pressure bro, just know that we’re all always more than happy to have a beer with you.”

“Thanks Da-“

“Despite your bigoted views on gender roles of course.”

“I’m going to punch you now.”

The duo then headed downstairs and no one got punched luckily.

Tim thought about his friend’s words and how it was probably time to leave that metaphorical stuffy closet soon or later, not that he felt forced or anything.

Dana’s closet, however, that’s probably the only one he enjoyed being trapped into…

End of Episode 9

[with-my-murder-flute]

The Old Guard is a great fandom for learning old shit like Latin. Do y'all know what "ad hominem" means?

I've seen the exposé going around of a well-known TOG fan who frequently writes about antiracism. Rather than going after her arguments on that, they're attacking her identity as a POC and member of marginalized groups, claiming that she's faking oppression for clout and is actually a horrible person.

And you know, normally I'd just be like, "Not sure I agree with all your conjectures there, but anyway, yikes overall, rip to people who liked her," and move on because it has nothing to do with me. Except apparently, the point of the exposé isn't actually "she's a horrible person".

Somehow the point people seem to be taking away from the exposé is, "And therefore all antiracism in TOG fandom is made-up, malicious nonsense."

Uh... sorry, what?

I'll be honest: I disagree with a lot of what the exposé's subject says on a regular basis. Not all the time, but there are some important issues that she and I have night-and-day different opinions on. So I'll admit that I was very willing to believe bad things of her, and yet I came out of the callout going, "Okay, and???"

The exposé's strongest point is, "Her Internet persona now is inconsistent with her persona 5-10 years ago, and back then she tweeted some TRULY shitty beliefs." If that means all the things they conjecture it means, that still doesn't address whether her arguments about racism hold any water. And it doesn't reflect at all on the people in fandom who agree with her about racism! "Someone stood next to this person, who we have now revealed is Bad, so they are also Bad," is a deeply nonsensical argument.

Although, well, a lot of people who hate TOG's antiracism movement seem to think "Calling me racist makes me feel bad, therefore you're completely wrong about racism" IS a valid argument, so um...

So yes, for the record, denying genocides like the Ukrainian Holodomor is absolutely bad. But I encourage all you history buffs out there to go learn about Stalinism, which will teach you about that genocide AND why expecting people to instantly denounce their colleague and friend for fear of guilt by association is a Bad Plan. I imagine some of the people whose ~silence~ has been ~noted~ over the issue have pulled their friend aside to privately say "WHAT the FUCK" before posting to Tumblr about it.

There are so many issues I do believe there's room for debate on in TOG fandom, like how to treat people whose takes you dislike or what circumstances under which it's okay to single someone out as problematic. (Apparently it's not okay to list someone's fic as containing a problematic trope, but it is okay to expose someone's personal info and then pretend you're a super good person for not sharing their legal name and the names and employers of their family members? Make that make sense.)

There are also real ongoing problems that have poisoned fandom profoundly, like the year-long plague of shitty and abusive messages sent to people on all sides of the debate that suddenly disappear when people disable anon asks. That's an issue reported so universally by everyone, antiracists and... not antiracists? alike that I would require exceptional amounts of proof to believe that any given person or "side" is responsible, and no such proof has tied her to that.

But "ad hominem" means an argument "at the person". It means to argue that because a person is bad, their argument is bad. And that's a logical fallacy, babes.