#and no im not providing context for the sit on my face thing

[griimbones]

haiiii *goes through a vocaloid obsession*

[freyito]

ᴊᴏʜɴɴʏ ᴄᴀɢᴇ & ᴋᴇɴꜱʜɪ ᴛᴀᴋᴀʜᴀꜱʜɪ + ᴀ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ-ꜱᴛᴀʀᴠᴇᴅ ʙᴏʏꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ

this ones super self-indulgent, simply cause im in a bit of a mood and i need comfort. so why not write little drabbles with my HUSBANDS!!!! sorry im still working on requests! my schedule is packed and thursdays are about the only days i get to myself, so im working on them, i swear!!!

for more context, there's a couple different ways people can be touch-starved and how people react. i know some people seek out touch actively, but im one of the people who has an aversion to it. that's why it's written like the reader doesn't quite enjoy it!

also, this was kind of inspired by Kocham Wolność by Chłopcy z Placu Broni

cw: male reader, just fluff really, bonus, proofread

-Johnny Cage

Johnny's flashy, touchy, and over-the-top. Of course he is, he has to be. With his status, he wants everyone to know exactly who you are and show you off. You're all his, and only his, and he needs every single one of his fans to know.

So when you shy away from his touch, dodge away from his hand, or even keep your distance the very first time, his heart shatters. He doesn't quite know how to handle it. But he doesn't go with the same approach. He doesn't give up, either.

He's a sucker for physical touch, and if he's denied it, he doesn't know what to do with his hands. He quite literally looks down at them and wonders what he can do.

His first thought is that you dislike him, actually. That you hate him. He has a deep-seated fear of rejection, and for his beloved to turn away from his warmth and love, it stings. He overthinks, and he reacts as such.

Johnny is a 50/50 with being logical. It depends where he is and what environment he is in. However, with love, where he is completely and utterly vulnerable, giving his all to his boyfriend, logic does not take place with his emotions. He does not think that you do not seek the touch he seeks, he craves.

But, before he can let that vile, horrid, agonizing feeling in the back of his throat take hold, there's slight reassurance. A soft gaze that mends his broken heart, if only for a moment. That's when he finally rationalizes.

You don't even need to tell him at that point, he silently understands. Besides, he has other ways he can show his love for you. Spoils you rotten, tells you all he loves about you. See, he can find ways to make up for the lack of physical touch!

Johnny makes sure to ask you before any physical encounter. He asks to hold your hand, asks to hug you, asks to hold you, asks everything. And each time you say yes, he has the biggest grin on his face.

One night, while you two were sitting on the hood of Johnny's car by some cliff,- like those stupid romantic scenes in movies- you lean over to Johnny and rest your head on his shoulder. Your arms are touching, his shoulder provides a comfortable pillow. You feel safe. Gazing at the very few stars scattered in the sky, the night sky's beauty stolen by the city below (and by you, Johnny says). Johnny's beaming. He's trying so hard not to show it, he's trying to act cool. But he can't. He's almost vibrating because of the butterflies in his stomach. He's proud of you, he's in love with you, and god, he's so happy. He leans his head on yours, and whisper all sorts of sweet things, 'I love you', 'You mean so much to me', 'You're the most beautiful man I know', and 'Thank you'.

-Kenshi Takahashi

Since Kenshi focuses on touch mainly in the relationship, he has to re-evaluate how he goes about this without touch. He doesn't start off with it, like Johnny does. But he slowly builds up to it. And when he tries to place a hand on your shoulder, feeling you completely dodge him almost feels humbling.

He's at a loss. But unlike Johnny, his first thought is the right one. Perhaps you aren't ready, you aren't comfortable. And that's okay. He's going to think of different ways to seek out your affection, even though physical touch is the only way he really understands love.

But, he also understands. He knows what it's like to dislike touch, after years of hollow touch and forced affection. And he understands if you just don't trust him enough, he's empathetic.

He'll wait for you, however long it takes. He isn't afraid to admit it's a bit disheartening, but he understands and he loves you and he will always wait for you. He still cherishes your time together, and it isn't spoiled one bit. Besides, he can tell you just how much he adores you. He doesn't have to rely on touch every time.

Like Johnny, he will always ask. But he does prefer that you make the first move, at that point. Any little touch, he also cherishes. Even if it's your hand accidentally brushing against his while walking. You always catch a small smile from him when that happens.

He's happy as is, really. The lack of physical touch doesn't take away anything from the relationship or from you. Simply basking in your presence is enough for you. He adores you, and he knows you're his as much as he's yours. That understanding is really the only thing he craves in the relationship.

He relishes in every little touch you give him, however. Simply holding hands is the most intimate thing to him. He isn't big on PDA, but he loves holding your hand anywhere in public. Even if Sento offers slight guidance to him, he loves knowing you're there to guide him.

The night you finally initiated contact, he fell deeper in love with you. It was quiet, alone, still. In your room, you lay next to him, simply enjoying the pleasures of the mundane. You reach for his hand, and gently trace the ink on his hands. He's calm, collected, but inside burns a fire so bright, that you can feel his body temperature rise. He slowly turns his hand, opening his palm to you. For a moment, your fingers linger, tracing the creases in his hand, before finally intertwining your fingers with his. He turns his head to you, a soft and inviting small on his face. He breaks the silence, whispering an 'I love you, so much', before the silence lay over you two once more.

-Bonus! Johnny Cage AND Kenshi Takahashi

They both agree not to smother you and take their time with you and your comfort. Since most dates and activities will always center around all three of you, they're specifically gentle with you, and are rather hands off with both you and each other (as hard as that is for them).

Just because they are comfortable with each other and each other's touch, doesn't mean they are going to flaunt it. Kenshi believes the ideal is to slowly incorporate you into events. To suffocate you with the idea of touch is too much.

And they do just that. Johnny follows Kenshi's lead, really. Neither of them can live without your touch, and the idea of turning you away is a mutual fear.

When you found yourself between Kenshi and Johnny, simply "watching" a movie from Johnny Dearest, you ended up placing your head in Kenshi's lap, and your legs in Johnny's. You were tired, that was all. Just so happens you had the most comfortable men to lay on. Johnny gave Kenshi the most bewildered look, before realizing the man was still blind. But regardless, Kenshi almost shared the sentiment. However, Kenshi didn't waste his chance. He places his hand on your head, scratching at your scalp. While Johnny just revels in the fact that you've finally warmed up to them.

© freyito, 2024 | masterlist | queue | kofi DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN OR USE FOR AI/AI CHATBOTS.

[306saint]

for your free tarot reading 🥰✨

i have a general topic / question: i'm dissatisfied in my current job (due to management/organisational issues, i love my colleagues). i'm thinking about applying for new jobs, but feel hesitant. should i look now? hold off for a few months more to see if an opportunity presents itself?

ouh this is a complex question so i chose a partial celtic cross spread. in the middle is your present situation, on top is the issue you’re currently facing. going around clockwise from the top is what’s crowning you (conscious thought), your future, what’s below you (subconscious thought), and your past.

im not in mind to give u a definite yes or no answer, but i hope the cards can provide some clarity !!

present: king of wands - indicating you’ve kind of done all you can at this job, you’re sitting on your laurels a bit. may also indicate that the leadership you rely on is prone to developing ideas or creating problems and then delegating them to others. it could indicate your desire for more control professionally.

issue: page of pentacles - considering a material change like a job. pretty literal in this context!

what’s crowing you: temperance - this card is all about moderation and patience, so in line with your concerns that you should wait and see what opportunities arise. it’s a reflection that despite challenges, you have remained level-headed and calm and should continue to do so as you choose your next steps.

what’s below you: 8 of wands - accepting change as a result of your choice. i would say that possibly you’ve already decided what you want. what do you spend more time fantasising about — staying at this job and trying to fix things, or being at a different job?

past: 10 of swords - significant pain in your past. failure, being let down or betrayed.

future: the moon (rev.) - the moon is all about illusions and the unknown. there are aspects of this situation that are still hidden from you, but you will find clarity. listen to your gut feeling. try externalising what your intuition is telling you — write in a journal or talk to a friend. research and look for external info.

w the temperance and moon cards in combination im not sure what the outcome is you — whether waiting is a good thing for you personally or if it’s holding you back. i’ll leave that up to you.

thanks for the ask & best of luck to u!!

[deus-mendacium]

"charles, do you think there's truly as much power in words as one believes?"

they had been eating lunch on the rooftop again, occasionally bringing up a rather philosophical topic of discussion, schrodinger's cat, the trolley problem, and eventually, the power of words.

charles hummed in thought, pausing and holding the sandwich he had been previously about to take a bite out of. "i...suppose so? it depends, doesn't it?"

vincent let out a quiet sound of acknowledgement in response, a smile playing on his lips as he spoke again. "does it?"

charles groaned good naturedly, putting down the remains of his lunch and crossing his arms to give vincent a raised eyebrow. this was routine by now, if charles gave an answer that ended in a question, vincent would twist it around and  throw it back at him—a skill that also made itself known in their rare genuine arguments.

"okay, then i change my answer. it definitely depends on context." he rolled his eyes, earning a quiet laugh from vincent that made his face warm with blush. "like, if someone says they're going to kill another person, that doesn't mean they'll grow up to be murderers, let alone actually do it."

to his surprise, vincent only hummed in response, frowning in thought. charles felt his heart stop for a moment, afraid he had upset his companion with his words. as he opened  his mouth to apologize, vincent spoke, in a tone that was odd and out of place.

"i mean smaller things. wants and needs, can and can't. if i tell someone ill give them whatever they need, that means what i provide is restricted solely to that—their needs." he paused, seemingly about to go silent in thought again, but continued. "but, if i tell them ill give them whatever they want, then i am selling my soul to them."

charles was quiet, letting the other's words sink in.  he had a point—even small things like throwaway sentences and words could mean the difference between freedom and slavery, a locked room and an unlocked one. chewing his lower lip, he noted that vincent was glancing at him from the corner of his eye, seemingly waiting for a reply.

"telling someone you'll give them whatever they need isn't very much freedom." he began, and he took vincent's raised brow and quiet 'oh?' as a sign to continue.

"it's like—" he fumbled for words for a minute, absently picking at his gloves. "if you say you'll give someone whatever you can, that's more freedom that saying whatever they need. if you say whatever they need, you're applying  yourself to their boundaries, but if you say whatever you can, you are applying yourself to your own."

vincent gave him a soft smile. "it seems mx.eyler is outsmarting me."

charles couldn't help but smile back, sitting beside him. "only a little. what prompted this, anyway?"

he didn't see vincent's smile drop into a blank stare for a moment, but he heard the reply:

"im only pondering."

charles smile faded, and he carefully rested a hand on the other's shoulder, wincing as he felt vincent tense up.

"if you need to talk..."

vincent gave him a wary smile. "didn't we just speak of wants, needs, and what someone can do?" 

"i can help you. i want to help you." he answered firmly, but vincent silently pushed charles' hand off his shoulder with a sigh.

"you are not the answer to my problems, charles." he spoke quietly, and then his mouth twitched up into a lopsided smirk. "though, i appreciate the sentiment. would your miss warhol approve?"

charles let out a groan. "don't start."

[trans-mink]

Heres that post I said I'd make of my concert experiences in 2022 and my issues with access as a person with hypermobility.

Bare in mind I'd only ever been to 2 pre covid and I managed to get to 4 this year :D. I am still getting used to what works for me in terms of managing my disability in different contexts.

Queen

My first one of 2022 was queen and adam lambert. It was so good, those old men can move, their vocals are still in great nick especially Brian's. The visuals were great too, a lot of lights and imagery from their different eras. Adam on a spinning motorbike for Bicycle, hell yeah. Was hoping they'd perform Innuendo which is my fav queen song but they did not, they did do The show must go on however which is almost as good. Cried a lot at These are the days of our lives.

Can't say much in terms of access cos I was standing (bad decision bcs i hurt like hell afterward but i got that ticket off someone else so)

Carpenter Brut

Honestly wish I'd enjoyed it more but there were several things working against me there. Its the kind of music I listen to while doing other stuff cos its mostly instrumental so sitting and bobbing along kinda didnt cut it for me personally. I think id have had a better experience if I was able to stand up and dance as well as having the option to sit but we werent allowed to do that rip. No way I could have gone in the pit bcs by this point my mobility issues had worsened. That and I was worrying about my nova twins concert the following week bcs my doctor was refusing to provide a disability note for me :^).

In terms of access for that, I did have to go up stairs cos the building doesnt have lifts (listed venues baybeee). Thankfully i dont have trouble with stairs but a lot of people do so :/. The seats were not comfortable at all and my back hurt after 😭

Nova Twins

As previously mentioned I saw Nova Twins the week after and was given a disabled seat despite my doctor being a cunt about it. Very glad I did, the view was good and I was able to stand up/ dance when I needed to (if i sit for too long my hips lock). Got to see the hosts of We wear black pod there so that was great, got their signatures and they said i was pretty :'). The acts themselves went hard, most energetic concert I've been to bar janelle monae it was so much fun. Hurt my arms headbanging off the railing bcs of course I did. Wish they'd done Devil's Face but we move.

Again, this building is listed and has no lift and im unsure if it has ramps. The complain in terms of my own access is that the disabled seats were just benches and when I asked for a seat with a back I was told there were none (fantastic for those of us with back problems, my ass had to get on the floor and stretch out bc of them shitty seats and in the end it was comfier to stand and move around). Chased it up with a complaint email and was told they do keep chairs with back support but this clearly wasnt communicated to the security team. That or the guy I asked just couldnt be bothered which....

First Aid Kit

First concert I'd been to completely alone and I'm super happy I'm at a point where I can do things more independantly. Their Support Lola Kirke was good, amazed that this woman was able to jump around and play guitar with her nipples only covered by stars, if I did that I'd hit myself in the face.

First aid kit themselves were so fucking good, I went in without having listened to the new album (got a signed copy while i was there tho hehe), it was a good gamble cos I cried the instant they walked out on that stage and performed Palomino. Visuals were my second fav after Queen's, they had shots of horses, fields, ocean, stuff like that it was super pretty. Cried at Lion's roar and some other songs, think thats the most ive cried at a gig so far. Enjoyed it so much more than I thought I would holy shit. That bitch was packed to the rafters and everyone lost their shit it was so fucking loud!!!

I had a seat in circle with a pretty good view considering I was kinda late into getting tickets cos i had no idea they were touring until about a month ago jkdbfvjhbhjb. This time the seats didnt make my back hurt which is a plus :D.

Final thoughts

I'm happy that I got to see everyone I did this year bcs it helps me work out what I like and dont like and what works for me. I wish venues would not make people prove theyre disabled just to get a fucking seat (particularly if its an a standing venue!!!) and doctors stop restricting access to shit we clearly need like I wouldnt bother asking if it wasn't essential :^). Your accessible seating is not accessible if it doesn't provide basic support lol!!!!

[lamnwar]

Hi dearest! It's me again! This time Im going to spoil the both of us requesting a Midorima scenario/story (you decide!).

I'd prefer to be with a girl (she/her), fluff and comfy! I really loved your headcanon with tall girl so... Unleash your fantasy and simp! Love always!

Hey you 💕 thanks for requesting some Midorima fluff because I literally melted writing this 😭 it's short and really it's just me fantasizing but yeaaah hope you like it! (Also my timing for this one is really on point, because Midorima's birthday and mine are only a day apart, so I'm treating myself with this one while also celebrating my favourite green boy <3)

Sunkissed // Midorima Shintarō x Fem! Reader

Context: in which you want to spend an afternoon at the beach with your boyfriend.

Warnings: none! pure fluff because I can't help but be a romantic and having my characters be absolutely in love with each other 🥰

“Shin-chan...”

Your boyfriend’s eyes lazily move from the book he’s reading to your figure, slightly bent towards him with your arms behind your back. He knows that position and that face all too well – those big eyes and those fluttering eyelashes, this seemingly innocent smile on your face. He isn’t fooled, this demeanour is far from innocent; you want something from him.

“What is it, sweetheart?”

“We should go to the beach.”

He hums, closing his book. You’ve known him long enough to know that he won’t say yes to your request easily, not till you provide him with a good enough reason. You’ve anticipated this situation – not much is straightforward with Shintarō, it’s almost as if he enjoys himself while he has you battling to convince him of something.

“Look at this” you point out of the windows, “it’s so beautiful outside! And I need a tan too.”

You move aside the strap of your dress, showing off your fading tan lines. He watches, a soft smile on his face.

“Isn’t it too hot outside, though?” he argues.

“It’s fine, we’ll be in the water anyway!”

He doesn’t reply, seemingly in reflection. You sigh dramatically, jumping on the bed next to him. He cannot say no to you when you look at him so adorably, that’s one thing that you know for sure.

“You wouldn’t be a true Cancer if you don’t want to take a swim” you tease him.

“I haven’t said such thing.”

“So, is that a yes?”

He once again leaves you in complete silence, giving the feeling that you haven’t managed to break through his barrier. But a quick look at his eyes and you know, he’s just putting up a front. He indeed cannot say no to his lovely girlfriend. He finally nods slowly, putting the book aside to pull you closer to him.

“We’re going to the beach, but I choose which one” he tells you as you smile like the happiest person on Earth.

You land a kiss full of love on his lips before leaving his side, getting ready for your day out.

 

It isn’t a long drive till you reach the beach, the soft sun of the afternoon laying its gentle rays on your skin as you get out of the car. Your boyfriend’s insisted on taking you to this remote beach that you’ve thought for the longest time to be a private one, till he explained to you that it is just an impression people generally get because of the luxurious villas around it. You almost rush to the turquoise water, carrying your bag in one hand, while the other holds Shintarō’s. You pull him with you, feet deep in the sand while you look for the perfect place to sit your things before you finally take a dip in the sea.

“Aren’t you excited, baby?”

“Not as much as you, but I’m glad to see you enjoy yourself” he smiles.

You can’t deny that you are overly enthusiastic to be here at this very moment. The beach has always been one of your favourite places to go – tender memories of your childhood holidays attached to it, as well as all the time you’ve spent there with your friends, pulling teenage hood shenanigans. You are truly grateful to have grown up on the shore, always surrounded by your favourite element. When meeting your boyfriend, who is a proper city boy, it has taken a lot of convincing to have him move out to your hometown. Ultimately, seeing how much you enjoy being near the sea was all Midorima needed to leave the hectic life of the city, and settle here with you.

“Shall we go swimming?”

The green-haired man doesn’t reply, not because he wants you to wait for his answer like he usually does, but because he is currently not in a state to reply. You stand before him, your swimsuit revealing your gorgeous body to his amazed eyes. A tint of red shades his cheeks, and when you take notice of it, you can’t help but laugh a little.

“You’re cute when you look at me like that, Shin-chan” you purr.

He tries to respond, but instead stumble on his words which has you laughing even more. In all honestly, he is really cute when he acts that way – completely flustered by you, as him and you haven’t been dating for years. You often catch these moments where he looks at you, looking like a schoolgirl in front of her crush. It never fails to make you feel good, that’s for sure.

“Can you put sunscreen on my back?” he asks once he’s also removed his clothes to find himself in his swim trunks.

It’s your turn to blush, seeing him in something else but his usual shirts and pants. You nod, taking the sunscreen and getting ready to splatter it all over his large back; not before you leave some kisses on it, though, just to see his entire face turn red. You chuckle softly, spreading the product on his soft skin, enjoying the outlines of his back muscles at the same time. Afterwards, you ask him to do the same to you, body jittering when you feel the water calling for you.

And then comes the moment where you can finally go in the water. You almost run to it, tripping on the sand while Shintarō watches with an amused smile on his face. He soon enough joins you when you are body deep in the fresh water, couple of fish swimming around you while you take a moment to appreciate the feeling of being submerge.

You let the gentle waves crash against you, moving your body to their will. It feels so nice to be here right now. You go underwater, getting a couple of strokes before coming back up to the surface, facing your boyfriend. There’s no sight like you at this very instant; as the sunrays hitting the water drops on your body give the impression that you shine, you have the most beautiful smile drawn on your face. You look truly happy, here in your element, and Shintarō can’t help but feel his heart beat slightly faster.

 

While you may be the first one to get in the water, you are also the first one to get out of it. Before the sun sets, you should seize the opportunity to catch a tan, retrieving your usual summer glow. You lay on your towel, body drying under the late afternoon rays while your boyfriend swims a little bit more. You look at him, the most tender smile on your lips. When you first met, he wasn’t much of a beach guy, preferring the mountains. It was a bit hard to understand for you, given how you’d never imagined living your life anywhere but next to the sea. Seeing how he’s made the effort to move out there with you, just so he can see that look of joy on your face every now and then, makes you love him even more.

He comes out of the water after a while and as he approaches you, he raises an eyebrow.

“What are you smiling about?” he asks, laying his towel next to yours.

“You” you simply reply.

“Me?”

He seems intrigued, for all he knows, he’s done nothing to make you smile in this particular moment. Your grin widens seeing how confused he looks. You lean towards him, looking straight into his pretty green eyes.

“Thanks for taking me to the beach, baby.”

“I love seeing you happy” he responds in all honesty.

You melt under his words, reaching to cup his face in your sandy hands. You reach further, salty lips kissing him softly. His hand grabs yours against his skin, as he pulls you further in the kiss, taking in as much as he can of you, like you could suddenly disappear if he doesn’t.

“Well, I love you” you whisper against his lips.

And you really do, you really love Shintarō probably more than you love the sea.

[not-reagan]

milf: man i love forests

pairing: deforester boo seungkwan x frat boy mirror demon han jisung (side pairing reagan x rainbow)

genre: crack, strangers to friends to lovers, non-idol au

warnings: cursing, brief supernatural elements, i don’t know if this applies but all lcase, and i listened to christmas music and abba while writing this

word count: 2.7k

authors note: happy birthday @miyuuraiura !! i am so sorry about this monstrosity being your birthday gift but you asked for it so it's your fault entirely. i was gonna include some context on this story for those who are not rainbow and i but actually i don't think i will.

seungkwan did what he could to get by. he loved nature, he really did, but sometimes you have to make moral sacrifices to survive. he was a college kid strapped for cash, and when he saw a sign reading “GET RICH QUICK, INVEST IN DEFORESTATION” in the summer going into his freshmen year, he jumped at the opportunity. sure, he would have rather been a freelance singer, hired for bar-mitzvahs and children's parties, but that job market was flooded at the moment.

jisung, on the other hand, had no care for nature. actually, he didn't care for any human things, apart from “banging parties, booze, the boys™, and bitches”. he hated quite a bit about earth, the worst of all to him being college. as a demon, he had no reason to attend university, but after he was summoned in the bathroom of a frat house by the school’s power couple; rainbow and reagan, he felt obliged to follow the two around and keep them company.

for seungkwan, his main job rarely required in person work. he usually just chose plots of land to demolish, and sent plans to local managers. the only time he actually had to knock down any trees himself was during his summer break. he has a part time job of course, but it didn't provide him enough cash to survive. for someone with a job as a deforester, he truly did do what he could to save the environment. he joined his schools environmental club, becoming vice president his sophomore year because of his work with them. he kept his job a secret, not even telling his parents where the influx of cash was coming from. he kept a low profile and went through the motions of life. he didn't have much of a social life, with his small amount of friends being from the environmental club.

han jisung found joy in witnessing his professors and fellow students lose their minds over his lack of effort in class. he did the bare minimum and still passed with flying colors. most of all, it angered his seatmate in earth science, who happened to be none other than boo seungkwan. seungkwan was a hard worker in everything he did, particularly in school. he didn't get the best grades, but by no means was he the worst. averaging a steady B+, seungkwan spent most of his nights studying or working, rarely going to parties and enjoying himself only through one person karaoke rooms.

this fact upset jisung. he didn't know why, but seeing seungkwan so tired every day made him feel sad(? jisung wasn't sure what it made him feel. it was an emotion he had never experienced before. rainbow told him it meant he had a crush. to this he threw an empty soda can at them). not to mention seungkwan’s upsetting karaoke addiction, which he knew all about the danger of because of reagan, who spent most of her weekends drunk and singing. jisung didn’t know why he took such a liking to seungkwan. what he did know was that he was ecstatic to find that they would be paired together for a project. a project that required quite a bit of teamwork, and a lot of after school work sessions.

seungkwan liked to think that he didn’t hate anyone. he hated evil people, like hitler and stalin and jyp, but he didn’t really hate anyone besides the worst of the worst. that was until he experienced jisung. he wasn’t sure why jisung always talked to him when he was trying to take notes in class. he especially wasn’t sure why he was so excited to be partnered up together for the project that was worth 25% of their grade. seungkwan was less than happy to have to cooperate with jisung for an extended period of time, and he was not looking forward to letting him into his dorm room, or going anywhere near jisung’s frat house. seungkwan had no idea what he was pushed into.

they planned to meet at the cafe on campus at 5:00 pm after class. seungkwan was less than happy. jisung was thrilled. when jisung arrived seungkwan was sitting at a table drinking an americano and working on an english essay. he wasn't sure how to approach him, slowly walked closer before tapping on his shoulder. seungkwan jolted in his seat.

“jesus fuck jisung. you scared the crap out of me,” seungkwan gasped. jisung’s ears flushed as he brought his hand to the back if his neck.

“sorry,” he started, pausing for a second before starting again, “why don't we get started?”. he swung his bag down to the ground as he took a seat. seungkwan offered a small, non genuine smile before pulling out the project’s guidelines.

“let's try to finish this as quickly as possible. im pretty busy and don't have much time to fool around.” seungkwan said. jisung felt his heart drop. did seungkwan really think that little of him? granted, he always dozed off in class but he got his work done on time and in an orderly fashion. he felt his mind begin to wander. if seungkwan felt this way about him now, how would he feel when he found out that jisung was a demon. would seungkwan start to like him if he knew him better? jisung couldn't figure out why he cared so much about how seungkwan perceived him. he had never had an issue with others opinions of him before, so what made seungkwan so different? for some reason, jisung felt the need to connect with seungkwan. if not for himself, then at least to help him let loose.

after working silently on each of their portions of the projects for 3 hours, jisung finally spoke up. “do you want to maybe come to my party next month? well, it's not my party, it's for rainbow’s birthday. i know you're not one for social interaction but it would be cool to see you there. i’ll give you the details if-”

“i’d love to go,” seungkwan cut off jisung’s rambling. to be honest, he wasn't exactly sure what he was agreeing to, but he knew it would shut jisung up, and seungkwan valued his peace and quiet. part of him also just felt downright bad for the other. he seemed to be trying awfully hard to become friends with seungkwan, and he wouldn’t admit it, seungkwan had started to warm up to the boy. he really wasn’t as much of an issue as he had thought before, and was actually really respectful of seungkwan’s wishes. maybe i’ll give him a chance, seungkwan thought before going back to his work.

over the next month, jisung and seungkwan continued meeting to work on their project. seungkwan was less short with the other, and jisung was still red faced every time seungkwan decided to talk to him, which became quite frequently over the next few weeks. jisung was starting to realize that the feelings he had for seungkwan were not simply platonic, and that he didn’t just want to be friends with him. with the help of rainbow and reagan, he had come to the conclusion that he really, really liked seungkwan, and that he was going to do something about it. remembering that he had invited seungkwan to the party, he devised a plan to not only tell seungkwan about his whole “i’m actually a demon” thing, but also about his true feelings. it wouldn't be easy, but it was what he had to do.

a month later, seungkwan still wasn’t exactly sure why he had agreed to go to jisungs frat house at 9:00 pm on a saturday night. yet there he was, standing on the front porch of a large house, wondering if he should bite the bullet and walk in, or spare himself and leave right then. he didn't get a choice, however, as rainbow and reagan stepped out of the house giggling while clutching onto each other. both stopped in their tracks when they saw seungkwan. the couple and seungkwan stared at each other for a good minute before seungkwan shook himself from his trance.

“hey rainbow!” seungkwan started, “and reagan too. i know we aren’t super close, but jisung invited me and i thought i’d just drop by and wish you a happy birthday.” he passed her a birthday card filled with $50 bucks and then turned to leave. “i’ll leave you guys now. have a great birthday!” before seungkwan could get very far, however, rainbow grabbed him by the arm.

“hey, i’d love if you’d stay! at least go say hi to jisung. i’m sure he’d like to see you,” she said, silently making note to have jisung pay her back for being a great wingwoman.

“he’s probably hiding in the second floor bathroom. if you don't see him in there, just say his name three times in front of the mirror. he’ll appear.” reagan explained. seungkwan thought she was joking. how wrong he was.

following his entrance to the house, he had to refuse not one, not two, but three different people who were looking to give him bottles or cups of something which seungkwan presumed to be various types of alcohol. navigating through the house was difficult, reaching the stairs to the second floor only after running into numerous people borderline fucking on two large couches in the living room, a smoke circle taking place in what seungkwan assumed to be a dining room, and a very aggressive makeout session against a wall. once he finally reached the second floor, he had some difficulty finding the bathroom, accidentally walking in on reagan and rainbow, who had miraculously made it upstairs faster than he had.

“if you don’t stop shitting constantly i am going to break up with you! also, stop taking feet pics! it’s weird!” he heard rainbow shout.

“at least i can eat seafood! how does it make your head hurt? you’re the weakest link! that fucking seafood platter was delicious. and you know what, i’m glad i didn’t have to share it with you!” reagan responded. seungkwan quickly shut the door, not wanting to get involved in whatever drunken argument was going on there. after a bit more searching, he finally stumbled across the right room. knocking first to see if anyone was in there, he entered, and to his surprise, nobody was there. jisung was nowhere to be seen. seungkwan reviewed his options. he could a) leave the party, or b) continue to look around the packed house. but there was another option. he thought about it for a second.

“what's the harm in trying,” seungkwan thought out loud, before staring directly into the mirror.

“han jisung, han jisung, han jisung.”

nothing happened. that's what seungkwan thought, until a minute later the lights in the bathroom flickered off and the mirror began to glow. “what. the. fuck,” seungkwan managed to squeak out before falling backwards into the tub. first a leg emerged, then two arms, and finally the rest of jisung’s body.

“i feel like the genie in aladin every time i have to get into a fucking mirror,” jisung complained before seeing seungkwan toppled over. to that view, he jumped down off the counter and moved to help him up. seungkwan, aside from falling, seemed to be reacting well to the whole situation, at least in the sense that instead of freaking out he seemed to be in a state of shock. jisung took this as a good sign, and lifted the motionless body up onto the toilet seat.

“hey seungkwan, you there?” jisung waved his hand in front of seungkwan's face as he slowly came to his senses.

“what kind of twisted party trick was that?” seungkwan asked, pretty seriously. jisung just laughed.

“you summoned me from the mirror. i’m like a funny version of michael jackson except i'm a demon and not a man in the mirror.” jisung explained. seungkwan just stared. “are you ok kwan? do you want me to get you some water?”

“it was… kind of sick.” seungkwan stated. he didn't know why he wasn't scared. under any other circumstance like this one, he probably would have shit his pants. for some reason he felt comfortable around jisung. he felt warm. he felt seen. it was something he hadn't felt before. that's when he realized. he wondered why it took himself to long to figure it out. he never hated jisung. he just didn't know what to do with the fact that he made him feel special, and that he felt as though he belonged when they were together. it had hit him why he was so nervous the whole night, why he had wanted to make such a good impression, and why he was willing to embarrass himself by calling out jisungs name as opposed to just choosing to go home. it was because he loved him.

“can i tell you something?” both of the boys said at the same time. jisung giggled and seungkwan flushed red. **authors note! bonus starts here**

“you first,” seungkwan offered. he wasn't exactly sure he would be able to make it through a sentence without getting any redder than he already was.

jisung took this opportunity to finally get his true feelings out into the air, “i like you… uhh like, i like like you. i have since we first became seatmates. well, i think that's when i've liked you since. i knew whe-”

“you're rambling again,” seungkwan told him. jisung flushed a dark shade of pink. “it's a habit of yours. i think it's cute actually.” seungkwan wasn't sure where his sudden surge of confidence came from, but he was glad it came. he was standing up now, holding jisungs hands in his. jisungs heart was racing a mile a minute as he looked down at their intertwined hands and them back up, catching seungkwan looking directly at his lips. “can… can i kiss you?” seungkwan stuttered out. jisung couldn't find his words, so he opted to just nod.

when their lips connected, seungkwan could have sworn he heard fireworks. he did later find out that someone was setting off a firework in the back yard, but it was the thought that counted. their lips melted together perfectly, and seungkwan wondered why it took him so long to admit his feelings to himself. he could have been kissing jisung for a month before this.

once they finally parted, seungkwan spoke softly, “i like you too. i think that's pretty obvious now but just in case you didn't know.” jisung had the dumbest, most confused face on, and seungkwan had the brightest smile he'd ever had. seungkwan had rendered jisung speechless, for once in his life. not long after, they started kissing again, content with their emotions and their new relationship.

seungkwan was never one to believe that good things were permanent. he was overdramatic, stubborn, and hated interacting with people outside his small social circle. that was until han jisung came along. he was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, he could let someone else into his life.

jisung was a simple man. well, not a man, but he was simple nonetheless. he liked banging parties, booze, the boys™, and bitches. well maybe there was one more thing he liked. he knew for sure he liked boo seungkwan. maybe he loved him. maybe seungkwan even felt the same way.

-fin

**BONUS**

reagan and rainbow leaned up against the door to eavesdrop on their matchmaking work.

“holy shit!” reagan gasped.

“what is it?? tell me what happened. you're hogging up the door!” rainbow hissed.

“our boy is so grown up,” reagan pretended to cry. “put your goddamn ear up here.” rainbow felt her ear connect with the cold door just as jisung confessed his feelings.

“i like you… uhh like, i like like you. i have since we first became seatmates. well, i think that's when i've liked you since. i knew whe-” his next words were cut off on the girls side of the door as reagan squealed.

“shut your mouth! seungkwans saying something!!” rainbow said, obviously annoyed that reagan was obstructing her ability to hear the exchange.

“can… can i kiss you?” they heard seungkwan say. both looked at each other in shock.

“oh. my. god.” was all rainbow could say.

“i think we should give them some alone time,” reagan suggested as she tugged rainbow down the hall.

“i think we need some alone time for ourselves,” rainbow said as reagan pushed her into a random room and locked the door behind them.

[pizzaboat]

So I've seen alot of people give their theory's and opinions on what's going to happen to Lilith in season 2 of the owl house, whether or not she's forgiven, where she's going to stay and how she'll act I guess, and the major thing being if she's redeemed or how redeemed she is.

I'm just going to throw my own thoughts out there and say that obviously there's still alot to do with her character. I also have no intention of bashing her character, I actually enjoy when she's on screen. I do like her but she's still problematic. So buckle up this is a long one.

To get my thoughts straight I'll break what I have to say down into parts, cause I get distracted easily.

First up im going to say I think she is far from redeemed. My impression of her is that she regrets cursing her sister, but she also finds some sort of sick pride in it too, as shown in agony of a witch when she screams " then why were you so easy to curse!?".

She also has no problem hurting literal children to get what she wants either, but that's another issue I'll discuse.

Lilith seems to resent her younger sister to an extreme, unhealthy degree. I could sit here and theorise about her child-hood and teen years wondering what could have created such insecurities in her, but im not going to. That is irrelevant to the point im trying to make. What's important to keep in mind though is that she was "perfect prissy Lilith"- the covention growing up, Eda was good at almost everything, and that Lilith cursed Eda to secure a spot in the emperors coven when Lilith was 18-19 and Eda was 16-17.

Is she redeemed ?

No i don't think she is even half way there. She cursed Eda in her sleep to win a fight. Lied for over thirty years to Eda about that curse. Mocked Eda for the symptoms of a curse she put on her "Why don't you go home and rest wouldn't want you breaking hip"- sense and insensitivity . she kidnapped Luz to use her against her sister, used Luz as a human meat shield in her and Eda's battle during agony of a witch, was generally quite rude to Luz when she wasn't dangling her over a pit of spikes, and also SPIKES.

Taking on half of a curse she put on her sister in the first place doesn't begin to cover the trauma and pain she's caused in the name of healing her sister, enforcing the emperors laws and joining said emperors coven.

I would also like to point out that she had a way to elevate her sisters pain all this time but she didn't. I've seen arguments like she trusted the emperor to heal her sister but I can already point out so many things wrong with that.

even if she did trust him, no normal person could sit by and watch any family member they claim to care about suffer, if she trusted the emperor so much she would have split the curse sooner, (providing Eda would have let her of course) and had him heal her or Eda both.

But she didn't do that she lied to her sister for years, partly because she was scared of losing Eda and also Eda's reaction which was, and would always be unbridalled rage. but also to an extent it suited her, it suited her to be the successful sibling, the sibling doing things "right" Lilith seems to be as I said before extremely insecure, and I think that just going off the episodes she was in and the impression the show puts forward.

If what I've noticed is correct, Lilith has spent her life in her sisters shadow, bullied in school as revealed in the end of something ventured something framed, nobody took her seriously due to her appearance and probably being a late bloomer in a lot of ways. She would have jumped at the chance to be given the same respect that Eda and other talented witches or well off, higher up witches recieved.

In other words the emperors coven fed Liliths' battered ego, telling her what she wanted to hear.

It makes sense that she wouldn't want to let that go, but in the context of what has happened and the fact she seemed to still try and stick with the emperors coven before Belos sent her to be executed along with eda and king.

She isn't redeemed, she probably doesn't see much wrong with how she's behaved up until now(besides cursing Eda) and there's still alot of work for her to do. She only split half the curse because her expulsion from the coven forced her to address a mistake she made for once.

Season 2 and maybe more seasons looks like where she'll be earning her redemption. Hopefully she'll be forced to face more of her flaws and short comings and work on them.

Will she be forgiven?

Lilith from what has been shown has hurt;

Eda Luz, King, Amity, Willow and Gus. They all have different reasons to be hostile towards her.

Eda

She cursed Eda and almost subjected her to a faith worse than death, lied to her, mocked her. Kidnapped her apprentice and almost got Luz killed a number of times,using her as a sheild. She dragged Luz into the whole messed up rivalry. I don't think Eda will forgive her emediatly, after all, even if she can forgive Lilith for what she did to her, she would also have to forgive her for what she did to Luz.

She essentially kidnapped Edas' surrogate daughter, Eda was much angrier about Luz's suffering than her own "you hurt luz, you cursed me. before anything turns me to stone I'm going to tear you apart!" - young blood, old souls

Yeah Eda was fit to murder her sister, taking some of the curse probably only got rid of her homicidal desire towards Lilith, thats it.

Luz

I've seen some people make fan content in which Luz immediately forgives Lilith or comes round eventually to her when Lilith acts nice around the house.

That seems super out of character for Luz, sure Luz is characterised to be kind and sweet but if the final proves anything its that she has a ruthless streak that comes out when she tries to protect the people she loves, her family. Lilith has threatened the people she cares about. I don't see Luz letting that slide, and she would probably still be on guard. Luz may have accepted her help in young blood old souls, but that was only because she wanted to save Eda she told Lilith she didn't like her "whole deal" and she meant it.

Lilith would have to prove she's really changed for the better for luz to begin to for give her.

King

I like the idea of King and Lilith becoming friends simply for comedy perposes, if King were to forgive her and I think he'd be one of the closest to it out of the main characters.

They'd be a force of sheer stupidity and ego they'd be bad and good for each other, King weirdly enough would be more emotionally mature since he's learned things like you can't be posesive over people in really small problems it's a lesson Lilith needs to learn since she seems to resent Luz to an extent, thinking Luz was taking her sister from her "Edalyn is with her family, her real family. Go back to your world human this one is ours" - agony of a witch

Of course before this she needs to also earn his forgiveness, he wasn't there for agony of a witch but he did experience the fear and worry of losing eda in young blood, old souls the only person he had up until then was Eda " King and I, we don't have much in this world. we only have each other"- A lying witch and a Warden. Lilith helping rescue Eda might have helped improve his opinion of her, but Lilith would have to get over herself first to begin her redemption.

Hooty

I don't think Hooty would hold a grudge, mostly because he's comic relief and weird. Since I personally think no one in the owl house would be bothering with her, and I see her being forced to live In the shed. I think Hooty would be her only company and I think it would be unexpected and really funny if he's the first person/bird thing to open her eyes to her awful behaviour. You gotta start somewhere and Hooty is it.

Amity, Gus and Willow

I think Gus and Willow will be stand-offish until Luz and King forgive Lilith.

Once Lilith has developed more as a person she owes Amity an apology for how she behaved as a teacher. Amity would be mad after the covention episode, but almost killing her crush would make her protective of Luz, and wary of her in general.

Conclusion

Lilith hasn't been redeemed in my opinion, there's still alot of growth she needs to go through, she's made alot of terrible mistakes and decisions, its what makes her so interesting. I like her but she's a sh*t person, but she can learn to be less of a sh*t person.

I'm aware this is a kids show and she probably won't get all this development or she could get different character development and that would be awesome, its just my thoughts and opinions and I'm really excited for season 2.

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

(GASP YOURE TAKING ASKS AGAIN *shaky eyes*) 4, 5, 6, 11, 14, 23, and 30!

I SURE AM 😤💛 the semester is over and i am ALIVE 🙌

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

i have been on an ml fic binge the past several weeks bc i finally caught up with season 4 of miraculous so they're all ml (adrienette) fics ajdsdjsdks:

Trust Falls by PitViperOfDoom; Chasing the C/h/atwalk. by Inkkerfuffle; and Operation Mega-Sleepover by InTheWild

(also these are all complete! there's some wips i adore rn, too, but i don't want to link them in case i lose interest bc then i'd feel terrible 💀)

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

if a fic has no paragraph breaks, i cannot read it. and hey, i was guilty of it too when i was in middle school, but it's a dealbreaker for me 😂 also commas. if a fic has too many OR not enough commas, i probably won't be able to read it. and i can be a bit picky with characterization? but that depends on the fandom, the story's context, what character we're even talking about, etc. etc.

6. How do you find new fic to read? Where do you primarily read fanfiction?

i get recs from friends, i read my friends' works, i literally just go to ao3 and read from the most recently posted fic, and occasionally i sort by kudos. i primarily read fanfic on ao3!

11. How do you come up with your fic titles?

song lyrics, a significant motif/line/etc. in the fic, occasionally im inspired by quotes i hear or read, and sometimes im just like "this sounds cool, that'll do" 😂

14. Do you have a personal word minimum that you hold yourself too? Why or why not?

i used to not like having fics shorter than 1k, but i have since matured and realized that a fic is only as long as it needs to be. sometimes that means im encapsulating a small moment in only a few hundred words, and that's a-okay! 😌

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

ooh, good question 🤔 honestly i just love emotional hurt/comfort, which isn't really a trope, per se, but it's the closest to one i can provide for this question 😂 a lot of my fics involve some aspect of a character study, so i think my enjoyment of emotional hurt/comfort makes sense adkjsdsks

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

i've been posting context-less snippets for the past three days, this ain't nothing new 😂

“Our dining room is right over here,” she said, stepping in front of the two and gesturing to her left. “You can sit—” Allison was abruptly cut off as she ran face-first into a navy blue men’s dress shirt.

“You can meet my husband, actually,” Allison corrected herself with a wide grin, turning around to extend introductions. “Sharona, Mr. Monk, this is my husband, Joe. Joe, this is Adrian Monk and Sharona Fleming.”

“I have heard great things about the both of you from Allison,” Joe said, shaking Sharona’s hand and then Monk’s. “She says that without you two on the case…” He trailed off, brow furrowing as Monk snapped for a wipe.

“Don’t worry, he has a thing about germs,” Sharona reassured Joe as she handed Monk a towelette from a fresh pack in her purse. “He’s like this with everyone.”

“It’s true, I am,” Monk said, wiping his hands. Sharona dropped the wipe back into her purse when he was done.

There was a momentary pause, but Joe shook off his confusion and picked up where he left off. “Allison tells me your help has been instrumental with the current case.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say we—” Monk was interrupted by a snicker from Sharona, who waved her hand apologetically when he frowned at her.

“Sorry, sorry. I just”—she snickered again—“instrumental. Y’know, they’re all musicians?”

A laugh escaped Allison’s lips, too, while Monk’s frown only deepened.

“I don’t understand.”

Sharona sighed, patting him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, boss. Your funny bone will heal eventually.”

Monk shifted his shoulders at her touch. “Doubtful.”

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Pirate AU Masterpost

Different ships captained and crewed by different hermits, maybe some could be normal sailors too? Or maybe even some could be sirens? There could be a pirate ship, a pirate hunting ship/law-keeping ship, some random shipping vessels, some sirens or sea monsters, or whatever else! I envision Doc as a pirate captain and Xisuma as the law enforcement captain, but it's open to whatever changes! (@-shadeswiftdraws.)

Headcanons to start us off:

-Bdubs is a fruity sailor.

-Cub and Scar sell things to both pirates and the law enforcement. They only take the aide of profit.

-DocM threatened Bdubs into joining him. Whether it worked is up to the 'what gets popular' Gods. If not, he probably just holds Bdubs hostage or something.

-Hypnotizd's bandana has a skull and crossbones on it, as does Etho's headband.

-False is feared by Doc.

-Grian has a parrot that always sits on his shoulder. Doc keeps telling him to get rid of it but Grian refuses.

-Iskall wears an eyepatch.

-Hypnotizd has scurvy.

-iJevin makes maps and sells em to pirates to keep them off his back. Did he bury the treasure? I dunno.

-All of ZIT collectively own a boat. They like to pretend its a yacht and have fun. Sometimes they just use it to relax, sometimes they just go fishing. Sometimes they scare each other with stories of pirates and massive storms.

-Joe Hills is scared of the water because he nearly drowned as a child. But when he ends up accidentally stowing away on the ZIT boat, his worst fears happen.

-Keralis is Xisuma's second in command.

-TFC is a retired sailor that knows too much.

-VintageBeef and basically all of the NHO are with Doc.

-XbCrafted grew up by the beach and likes to collect shells. One time he found a fossil of a dinosaur. What will he do? I don't know. His childhood friend, Hypnotizd, left to be a pirate. Xb hasn't heard from him since (he promised he'd write letters,) and fears the worst.

-ZombieCleo is a dead zombie captain. Her and her crew (the gals, and maybe some co,) are out to get their revenge on Doc. Her second in command is Stress but her main muscle in False.

-Mumbo is usually the one who works maintenance on the ship. (He's with Xisuma.)

-Rendog got stuck on an island he's called 'Loser Island' and has been there for at least a year. He's found by Doc.

-Stressmonster makes people fear her through her name, but they usually laugh when they see her because she's really unintimidating.

-Welsknight hoardes cool swords.

-Everyone underestimates Stress when they see her but those who have faced her in battle have realized their mistake. She is slowly but surely gaining the reputation as one of the most feared pirates of the seven seas. She’s still very sweet if you get to know her tho - 🌙

-At some point while attempting to leave the ZIT crew's yacht, Joe somehow ends up with Cleo and the gals in the middle of the ocean, who take pity on him. Because they help him with his fear and take care of him on the way back to land, he decides to stick with them for good. The Navy and a lot of other pirates don't believe that Cleo can be the captain of such a feared vessel or that False can be that deadly and decide that Joe must be doing it all. He takes joy in deferring to Cleo whenever he can, and the whole crew gets a laugh out of his combat attempts. He mainly handles navigation and stuff, though he does record their adventures and anonymously submit them to newspapers and/or publish his accounts. (Don't want to skip the Joe+ZIT stuff, just love him and Cleo and need that dynamic :-) )

-Half siren/merman grian? - Frost Anon

-Different anon adding to the Merman Wels idea, he's a siren but instead of stealing your life he steals your swords and shinies. Some pirates may be on good terms with him and gives him swords occasionally and ask for directions or just hang out with him and be nice (I'd think Ren would sing with him and Jevin would hang out and steal shinies with him landing both their crews on good terms with him. He may even follow them around as it can be lonely in the ocean)

-Mumbo never meant to be a pirate. There was just a mutiny of the last captain he was under and everyone liked him enough to keep him around.

-Some loser thinks that joe is the muscle of the group and asks for a duel. cleo decides fuck it and just pushes joe into a fight with them because thats how she be sometimes. (False is on standby so joe doesn't get creamed)

-https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/619926302710956032/another-take-on-the-pirate-au-concept

- At some point, Cleo's ship begins picking up stray orphaned children. They are kept safe below deck during battle and are taught by the crew how to run a ship and fight, but Cleo also teaches them stuff like how to read and do math. The crew is very protective of the young'uns and the ship eventually becomes known for the fact that they take care of kids. Most other ships, upon learning this, respect that and don't attack them. If a ship does, they will find that the Rotten Corpse is viscous, and has many powerful friends who will back them up. If Doc or X come across Cleo's ship, they will give the kids gifts and stay close for a bit to provide protection. As the kids grow up some go back to shore and build legitimate/legal lives (including opening an orphanage) but a group of them go off and become their own pirate crew! Their ship's name? I don't know, I'm not clever.

-In a tavern someone's just like "im gonna sail to this island." Tfc, sitting nearby "you wont find anything" a little while later that ship goes missing. No one actually knows what tfc found in his sailing days. But my god does he know where to avoid

(All above in red are from our community's lovely Anons!)

-The ZIT boat is a bit of a disaster because each person always thinks it's the other people's turn to maintain it. Joe probably saw it on an evening beach walk and thought it was abandoned, decided to explore it, and accidentally fell asleep in the hold. He wakes up to the ZIT boys arguing about what to do with him.

-Xisuma has a reputation for being strict and disciplined and running a very tight ship, but if you're actually on his crew you'll know that's a front for intimidation purposes. In reality he is organised but extremely forgiving, and he will often sit down with crew who are new or going through something stressful and talk it out with them.

-Iskall is with Cleo's crew, he appears just as driven as the rest of them but he's mostly just there to make sure Cleo and co don't go too overboard with the revenge thing. He just doesn't want them to do something they'll regret....

-Wels can be a merman! He hoards cool swords as souvenirs of the surface world and dreams of two-legged adventurers and explorers.

-The "incident" that put Cleo on the path of undead revenge was partially accidental. Doc's goal was to raid the ship and get away with no casualties, but things escalated way too quickly. He is haunted by what happened, but Cleo doesn't know that and is determined to hunt him and his crew down.

-Pirate singalong nights! Doc's ship definitely has a singalong under the stars every night, where everyone can gather together and relax and let loose. It's fun to think about who would be good at it, and who would be bad at it but sing anyway ☺️

-Grian starts off on Doc's ship (with his parrot), but he gets washed overboard in a storm. Siren!Wels rescues him and gives him siren magic.

-I got tired of referring to "Xisuma's ship" and "Doc's ship", so: X's ship is called the Voidrunner, and Doc's vessel is the Black Goat. (Cleo's is The Rotting Corpse -Anon.)

-(I did a submission mentioning ConPost earlier, so look at that for context) The ConPost boys don't sail, but they're very knowledgable about sailing supplies and even ship repair. Cub does bookkeeping and negotiates big deals. Scar likes to wander the docks checking stock levels, with Jellie napping in piles of rope or following close behind.

-https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/619819577428279296/for-the-pirate-au-cub-and-scar-own-a-supply

-Xisuma is feared and respected by pirates because his ship is one of the first/only steam powered vessels at the time. Mumbo is his engineer; he maintains the mechanics and is constantly testing ways to make the ship faster and more efficient.

-If you ask Iskall why he wears an eye patch, you will get a wild tale of adventure and heroic battle that may take an hour to relate. However, the story is different every time. He actually lost his eye in a completely non-pirate related accident as a child. It just sounds cooler the way he tells it 😂

- About Joe moving from the ZIT crew to Cleo's ship: Joe really wants to be taken back to shore, and the ZIT lads understand his fear of water and try to take him back as soon as possible. However, they get caught in a storm, and the boat isn't in great shape to weather it. The boat is not quite wrecked, but badly damaged, and Joe is washed overboard. Cleo's crew finds him and pulls him aboard to save him (maybe siren!Wels helped bring him to her!)

-As a pirate Etho is known for his skill in boarding enemy ships. It doesn't matter how many ropes you cut, how many pirate grappling hooks you throw into the sea in an effort to keep them from your decks. Even if there's no possible way across, Etho will just sort of.. . End Up on your ship, and you will end up in Davy Jones' locker. (Based on the creepy teleport thing with Grian, and just Etho's general cryptid-ness)

-The sea spray and the general ocean humidity is horrible for Doc's arm. Ren helps him keep it as clean and rust-proof as possible, but it still probably squeaks a lot and stiffens up sometimes.

(-@shadeswiftdraws.)

-ZombieCleo's gal (& co.) crew includes Iskall. [More info pending for when I finally get around to watching s6 and see the infamous Iskall & Stress duo in action] (-@basaltdragon.)

-Inspired by shade: Cub is an ex-sailor, and Scar grew up in a family of fishers. Cub was really good at ship maintainence (he just got sick of the politics), and Scar loved keeping stock of the fishing nets and what sort of fish were caught, how much they might sell for, though he's not as good at repairs.

-For the Pirate AU, Mumbo telling Siren/MerGrian stories of the surface world and (secretly?) making a way for Grian to see it for himself. (-@shiniestumbreon.)

-Pirate au: one day there is a really bad storm that destroys all of the hermits boats except for one of them. So now all the hermits are all on one boat that’s really far away from land. (Angst part) some of them went over board (I’m thinking the captains maybe) so the remaining hermits are either grieving them or looking desperately hoping that their crew mates are still alive and clinging to wreckage. Who they find, if they do find any of them is up to the reader for now. (-@lookitsspacekween.)

- Mumbo, being the spoon he is always forgets where he buries his treasure. (-@xxpzmistxx.)

-Mumbo, as the Voidrunner's engineer, has so much to work on that Xisuma will sometimes take over the maintenance so poor Mumbo can get some sleep. This leads to the hunt for a secondary engineer and maybe that's how Mumbo and Iskal end up meeting. (-@my-cat-is-a-bastard.)

-A cat scratched out Iskall's eye as a kid, and he's too embarrassed to tell anyone. He's still a bit afraid of cats, so you'll always see him keeping a close eye on Jellie when he's at the dock. (-@12u3ie.)

- i dont really know much about pirates but ima try!! ok so, cleo is human, but she gets the nickname "zombie cleo" because she faked her own death. people thought she drowned, and her old crew along with her. most of them went to live normal lives under different names, but cleo missed the sea and eventually returned to being a pirate, eventually becoming the capitain of a new ship. (i hope this makes sense lol) (-@bakubakunyanyaa.)

-Pirate headcanons! As someone said before Ren and Wels are friends and like to sign together. I can imagine Wels telling the Black Goat that there is a treasure burried in Loser Island to get Ren rescued. Also! People think Ren is halve siren/has siren magic as he is really good at singing and the melodies he hums are similar to the ones sirens are said to sing, turns out just a bit of siren magic and Wels singing style rubbed on Ren during all the time they spent together singing.

-More pirate hc cause i have no self control and they are not a lot of them: Doc gives shiny stuff to Wels in exchange of him warning them when X’s crew is on a port. Iskall is also a great engineer and is working to make the Rotten Corpse Steam powered too. He insist Cleo to let him take a peek on the Voidrunner to see if he can copy Mumbo’s work, the gals agree this is the most dangerous idea Iskall has.

(-@ivi-prism.)

-Ship AU! Hypno originally joined the ship's crew with his friend, Jessassin. They became a swashbuckling duo, and still sometimes work together, despite Jessassin's inactivity from pirate duties. (-@calmshejaguar.)

[zigsexual]

various yule ball shenanigans (trr hogwarts au)

drabble about yule ball drama and dumb idiots who can’t communicate for the trr hogwarts au. in a perfect world, there would be some prior context for how this all came about, but an au drabble is an au drabble and i need to stop obsessing over making it into a full fledged fic lmao.... hope this tides u guys over until i finally post my mawell fic aslkdfj im a rat sorry lov u all!!

They’re sitting in the common room when it happens. It starts innocuously enough, Drake practicing his levitation spells for Charms (still failing) while Maxwell watches and provides exactly zero helpful input. Riley has only just entered, nose pink from the cold, unwinding a scarf from around her neck.

“Hey Riley,” Maxwell calls as she passes by the both of them, heading towards her room. “We’re meeting up tomorrow afternoon for extra bludger practice with the alternates. Just confirmed it with the Captain.”

“I can’t tomorrow,” she says, breezing past in an unusually casual way.

“Hold up.” Maxwell makes a face at her. “What do you mean, you can’t? You don’t have other plans. I would know.”

She pauses, turning around to look at him in annoyance. “You don’t know everything about me. And as a matter of fact, I do have plans. I’m going shopping with Hana for a Yule Ball dress.”

“You’re going to the Yule Ball?” Maxwell raises his eyebrows. “I thought you were protesting.”

“I was,” Riley seems to savor answering, looking him square in the face while she does. “But then Liam asked me.”

Drake drops his spell immediately, the tea falling along with it, but Riley merely raises a hand and deftly redirects the mug to a nearby side table. Maxwell, meanwhile, is outright staring. 

“Liam?” He says, flabbergasted. “Drake’s Liam?”

Riley bristles. “He’s not anybody’s Liam, he’s just himself. And he asked me, so I said yes.”

“Why?” 

“Because I wanted to.” She frowns, folding her arms across her chest. “I don’t see either of you asking me, anyway.”

“When did he ask you?” Drake says, too taken aback to even bother with Maxwell’s line of questioning. “Today?”

“It was a few days ago, actually.” Riley is clearly trying to act casual about the whole thing, fiddling absently with her wand, yet the furtive glances she keeps sneaking at the two of them are anything but. 

“A few days?” Maxwell repeats. “You never said anything!”

“I’m saying it now, aren’t I?”

“But... why did he ask you?”

Her eyes flash. “Is it so hard to believe I’m likable?”

“That’s not what I meant—“

“I’m going to bed,” Drake says, standing abruptly. He doesn’t meet Riley’s eyes, only sweeps up his things from the table and moves briskly towards the sleeping quarters. He can feel their eyes boring into him as he leaves, but it’s better than having to spend one more second in that room wondering how on earth he could’ve been such an idiot. 

Riley. Of course it would be Riley. Spunky, intelligent, athletic Riley, with her long dark hair and ever-present laughter. Why else would Liam spend so much time with them, go to their matches, stay for holiday? He’d probably asked Hana to introduce them in the first place. 

Drake tosses his bag on the ground next to his bed, sitting down on the mattress with a sigh. He stares across the way for a moment, eyes unfocused, before falling back onto the comforter. 

He can’t even be mad. She’s his best friend. 

Maxwell finds him like this not too soon after, barging into their room in that unceremonious way he always does, instantly taking up space. “Can you believe that?” He says, as though they’re merely continuing a conversation from seconds ago. “And she’s not even lying. I checked.”

“Why are you upset?” Drake rolls onto his side, watching as Maxwell splays on top of his own bed across the way. “It’s not like this affects you.”

“I’m not upset,” Maxwell counters, frowning up at the ceiling. “I’m... it’s on your behalf. I’m upset for you.”

“I don’t need your manifested pity, but thanks.”

“How do you have any friends, Drake? Seriously.”

Drake lifts his head up to frown in Maxwell’s direction. “Aren’t you supposed to be cheering me up or something?”

“No, I came in here because I’m upset.” Maxwell pauses, seemingly realizing what he’s said a moment too late. “Upset for you. You made me upset.”

“Sure.” Drake falls back down against his pillow, closing his eyes. 

“It’s just so weird that she didn’t tell us,” Maxwell continues, seemingly oblivious to Drake’s disinterest. “I mean, that’s big news, right? You’d expect her to tell us, wouldn’t you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you think she likes Liam?” Maxwell sits up at this realization, looking over at Drake with wide eyes. “What if she’s going with him in like, a romantic sense?”

“Christ, Maxwell, I don’t know.”

Maxwell bites his lip, looking out into the distance, suddenly pensive. “I just don’t get it. I don’t get why she wouldn’t tell me. We tell each other everything.”

He goes quiet, still staring at nothing in particular, brow furrowed. The silence stretches on long enough for Drake to actually hazard a glance over in his direction. As much as he loves moments of solitude, they’re few and far between where Maxwell is concerned. 

“You okay?”

Maxwell looks down at his hands, twisted together in his lap. “I don’t understand girls.”

---

At Quidditch practice the next morning, Riley sidles up to Drake before their huddle, resting a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry,” she says, her voice as gentle as a whisper, and equally as soft. “I don’t know why I didn’t say anything to you, I just…”

He focuses intently on his broom, not quite ready to meet her eyes. “You don’t have to apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But it feels like I did, you know?” She frowns, looking down at her hands. “I owe you more than to act like that.”

Drake shakes his head. “You don’t owe me anything. You’re my friend.”

“I owe it to you because I’m your friend,” she insists, “It was shitty of me, okay? It was.”

He isn’t quite sure what to say, so he just nods.

She sighs, running her fingers through her hair, somehow leaving it even messier than before. “If it makes any difference, I don’t feel that way about him. I’m not that much of an asshole, I promise.”

“I know,” Drake says, “but... maybe he feels that way about you.”

“It would be stupid of him. He doesn’t even know me, not really.”

Drake shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets. “He doesn’t know me either.”

Riley turns to look at him, jaw set in determination. “Well, he should. Because I know you, and I think he would be lucky to have that privilege.”

He shoots her a small smile. “Thanks, Brooks.”

“I’m serious. You and Max are some of the only people who’ve never judged me for where I come from, not for a second. Maybe you don’t think that’s a big deal, but when you’ve never had a family and then you get the chance to go to this incredible place filled with actual magic, only to be called ‘mudblood’ by half a dozen assholes before you’re even off the train…” She sighs. “It means a lot, okay? It means everything.”

“Riley—”

“Look, I’d never jeopardize our friendship for anything. I’ll tell Liam I can’t go.”

“No, don’t do that. It’s okay, really.” 

He can tell by the way she looks at him that she doesn’t believe him, which is fair, because he doesn’t believe himself either. “You’re sure?”

The Captain interrupts before he can answer, perhaps a saving grace in itself. “Brooks, Walker — if you’re quite finished?”

[katsukisblackteddy]

EM !! i saw a tiktok where a lady was talking about how white feminists only talked about their problems as a women but never address the fact that their also white.

i saw a comment that said something along the lines of ‘ yes , you can be lesbian , a woman living in america and a part of the 97% , i’m not invalidating any of ur problems at all but PLEASE understand that if you were a woc or poc these problems would be completely different. ‘

I JUST WANTED UR OPINION WHAT DO WE THINK BECAUSE IM HAVING A CONFUSING TIME TRYING TO MAKE AN OPINION AND I NEED UR SMART ASS TO HELP TYTY

ilysm <3

OK SOOOO I realized that I have yet to talk about this issue and your question has given me the opportunity to do this.... And I sincerely apologize to the AAPI community for not making a post about this issues sooner and educating my followers. I need to do better and I realize that now. <3

The fact that you actually brought this up is so ironic for me because I just recently (like last week) went to a town hall/ forum at my university regarding AAPI hate crimes and just racism in general and what my school can do to make minority students (in this case specificially AAPI) feel more safe. 

My dean decided to speak and despite the conversation being about racism and AAPI experiences, she said that she could partially understand what they were going through because she had acknowledged her own biases against men...YES you read that right. My dean, a white woman (i say this because it provides context), decided to change the conversation to focus on her apparent sexism against women while we were talking about racism. One of the Asian students who had been doing the majority of the talking because once again, our dean was horribly unprepared to actually lead this discussion and it fell on said Asian student to basically lead this whole discussion while dealing with the stress of experiencing this himself. He actually had to remind HER that this was a discussion on racism that minorities and AAPIs face. 

Personally, as a WOC, I did understand where he was coming from but I also understood that while we shared similar experiences regarding racism, this whole discussion was not about black specific issues or about me, and my goal was simply to show that I, as a fellow person of color, supported him and his community. 

The main take away if you don’t read all of this (lol) is that you can’t talk over the most important voices surrounding these issues (rn AAPI). You actually have to listen to what they share even if it makes you uncomfortable, because imagine how they feel. Even though it might be hard for you to understand, imagine how scary it is to constantly worry about your grandparents, friends, and family going out to the store, or going on a walk, or getting home from work because there are crazy racist ignorant people out there who would throw acid on them, spit at them, beat them, KILL them for just looking the way they do. 

And to those of you out there that can sit in blissful ignorance, it must be nice, but you can’t do that anymore. If you consume asian culture whether it be anime, food, music, etc. you have a responsibility to support the AAPI community. Even if you don’t do any of those things, you as a morally sound person have a responsibility to support the AAPI community. 

AND SPECIFICALLY TO MY FELLOW BLACK PEOPLE: You have a responsibility to support the AAPI community. They supported us through BLM, they mourned the lives that were lost in our community at the hands of police brutality and racism. Now it’s our turn to do the same. 

We can’t invalidate other’s experiences because they make us uncomfortable; and please my non AAPI followers and anyone that reads this,  PLEASE PLEASE continue to amplify their voices, their stories, and their experiences.Continue to educate people on the harm that the “model minority” stereotype has against the AAPI community. Make a conscious effort to continue to educate yourself and those you interact with on these issues. 

Change rarely results from comfortable conversations. 

[mainstreamelectricalparade]

2020 Voltron Rewatch Commentary

a few things before we start:

i do ship klance but im not really going to be focusing on the ship or watching with rose-tinted lenses

i am going to be using female pronouns for pidge

there will be sarcasm aplenty in this post, as well as a lot of gushing, because i've watched voltron before so i already know the characters and have my personal favorites

sometimes my commentary will get a little. off-topic. bear with me. i've been known to ramble.

also this one is obvious but a warning for voltron spoilers!

this is just for fun! i've seen people do commentary posts before and i decided i wanted to try my hand at it. all praises, criticisms, jokes, and thoughts are just my own opinions and/or headcanons, and i hope at least someone thinks this post is maybe a little bit entertaining :)

here we go! strap in, fellas, this is a long one.

S1: E1 "The Rise of Voltron"

im just gonna come right out and say this i love the kerberos team i really truly do but the opening scene is absolutely terrible

"iSnT tHiS iCe SaMpLe AmAzInG sHiRo"

i get that its supposed to provide context for the entire premise of the show but i just

its so bad

"we could be the first people to meet aliens" congrats pal u just jinxed it -

"wHaT iS tHaT" what does it look like samuel

beam them up scotty

LANCE

poor hunk omg lance go easy on him

the entire simulator scene is so chaotic

really sets the tone for the rest of the show, huh

"-against crew recommendations-" the shade from this child

LANCE DID YOU REALLY NEED TO MAKE THAT FACE WHEN YOU SAID THREAD THE NEEDLE

"nice work, tailor -_-"

dhsdfgsd lance has 100% been covering for pidge's backtalk probably daily since they became a team, you can't convince me otherwise, he cut in so fast

OK YES THE ONLY REASON LANCE IS IN THAT CLASS IS BC KEITH FLUNKED OUT BUT WAIT TIL HE GETS HIS EAGER LIL MITTS ON BLUE'S CONTROLS, HE D E S E R V E S THAT RANK

how dare iverson put that look on lance's face honestly i would have sicced pidge on him for that, alone

ok ok ok but like pidge looks and probably is about 14 years old and lance's idea of team bonding is really "hitting the town and meeting girls"? lance... buddy... team bonding is playing mario kart and stuffing ur faces with junk food until u all pass out in a dog pile on the floor

I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY ARE ACTUALLY HIDING IN RECYCLING BINS

FORESHADOWING-COLOR-CODED RECYCLING BINS

"you come up here to rock out?" lance don't you know you should never sneak up on someone who's wearing headphones it's NEVER A GOOD IDEA

pidge could have fallen off the roof smh

awww her lil sheepish face when lance asks about kerberos

"STOP TOUCHING MY EQUIPMENT" tech gremlin pidge emerges

pff i love that hunk just flops over after he gets yelled at, that's exactly what my golden retriever does when i tell her to stop biting herself

so im sure pidge's notebook is supposed to be like... scribbles of notes and things that she picks up when she listens to the radio chatter but also she doodled a ladybug underneath the word "voltron" so i think it's just doodles that she does when she gets bored and that's really adorable

also i love the shot where lance grabs pidge's binoculars to look at the approaching ship and pidge just... dangles from them. even though lance is sitting down. she just. really is that short, huh.

lance y'all are having a team bonding moment now is not the time to be ogling pretty women

poor hunk fdhsdf he just wants to get a snack and go to sleep. honestly mood

poor shiro ;-; he's really going through some stuff

"i hate to be the voice of reason, always -" no u don't

OK BUT WHO ELSE IS CURIOUS ABOUT HOW KEITH CAUSED THAT EXPLOSION

my absurd cartoon logic brain immediately thought "dynamite" but no one in their right mind would sell a sixteen year old dynamite, even in a futuristic cartoon world

right

right?

right

i mean he's got that bike he probably lit smth on fire with fuel, that's flammable

i'm thinking too hard about this

moving on

"IS THAT THE ALIENS? ARE THEY HERE? THEY GOT HERE SO QUICK!!!" i mean... t e c h n i c a l l y . . . it isn’t....... not............. an..........

"i'd recognize that mullet anywhere" aww, how sweet

KEITH'S 👏 EYES 👏 ARE 👏 PURPLE 👏

lance now is really not the time to be a drama queen

keith looks so confused hsdfhdfh

"do you mind if we catch a ride with you?" keith, internally: oh god please don't i haven't spoken to another human person in months i can't handle the pressure of making small talk with three- keith externally: ...

"we could toss out some non-essential weight" "oh, right!" ... "okay-" these two, good gracious

"NONONONONONONONONO-" "yup :)" "NONONONO" KEITH THIS IS NOT HOW YOU MAKE FRIENDS

ok im once again stating the very obvious but shiro is McRipped

also that is not what shiro was wearing when he crashed, he was wearing the galra prisoner rags, how and why did keith just randomly have clothes that fit shiro perfectly sh**th shippers DO NOT interact i dont want to hear it

keith's conspiracy board i love him

honestly i understand why everyone loves conspiracy theorist keith so much and honestly same but i also love skeptic keith theyre both so funny

ok shiro 100% recognized pidge immediately because she couldn't look any more like her brother if they had been identical twins and the fact that he didnt call her out when she introduced herself (or when everyone kept using he/him pronouns for her) makes me love him so much, he probably thought she was transitioning or smth and didnt bat an eye

hunk is so stressed oh my goodness someone help him

dhdfhsdf i forgot about hunk going through pidge's stuff oh no

"hunk, you big gassy genius!" hunk is so smart i love him

theyre ALL SO SMART

blue senses lance's presence :DDDD

THEIR FACES OH MY-

"IS THIS THE VOLTRON"

pidge and hunk definitely thought the lion was leaning down to eat them

their faces when hunk is stating the obvious fhsdgdfg like "wow, are we really in an alien cat robot? none of us had noticed"

i love hunk

shiro and keith look impressed by lance's skills and the lion hasnt even left the ground yet

two seconds later: YOU ARE- THE WORST- PILOT- EVER

"why don't we just give the lion to the aliens?" "theyre gonna kill us all"

"be careful, man, this isn't a simulator!" "well, that's good, i always wreck the simulator..." LANCE THAT'S NOT AS REASSURING AS YOU THINK IT SOUNDS

zarkon is so creepy like dude did not age well

keith why are you staring at the back of lance's head so intensely you look like you're angry with his bean sprout

"guess we're all ditching class tomorrow" and for the rest of your lives

pidge omg this child hunk: vomits "i'm just surprised it took this long"

what is the name of that planet again? arusia? yeah whatever it is its really pretty

LANCE THAT IS SO GROSS

YOU WERE JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT HUNK'S BREATH, OBJECTIVELY A FART IS WORSE

he looks so proud of himself smh

"AHHH I KNEW IT WAS GONNA EAT US" *hides behind shiro because that will totally protect him if a giant effing metal space cat decided to eat them for lunch* "...ohhh, the door is open..."

shiro really just does not know how to deal with the fact that he just got launched back into space to another alien planet... but this time as a glorified nanny to four increasingly ridiculous teenagers

ok but why did the ID scanner just decide to accept that these five random humans that have never set foot inside this castle before are totally harmless and not a cause for alarm

does the lion have a telepathic connection with the castle too

did blue tell the castle "these guys arent in ur database but they busted me out of the cave on earth so they're chill"

shiro and keith have identical "exploring an alien castle running on like ten minutes of sleep" pouts they really are brothers huh

ALLURA

hsdfhashsdf i will never get over lance's goofy "prettygirlprettygirlprettygirlprettygirlSYSTEMFAILURE" face

or the flirty one he makes right after that smh child now is so not the time

SHE'S NOT EVEN INTO IT, ABORT, MAN, SHE THINKS UR EARS ARE HIDEOUS

pidge peeking over the top on the console to see how the tech works ;-; i love her shes so cute

ENEMY COMBATANTS! good morning coran

im... what... are they doing

"man, these guys are good" hunk please tell me youre talking about the futuristic computers and not whatever that just was

the flashback scene ;-;

CORAN'S FACE when she says their solar system was destroyed 😭

ooh sparkly holographic crystaly things- AH that immediate segue into haggar's gasping dead-looking face was very abrupt and very startling and very unwelcome-

watching the early seasons of voltron is so trippy when you've seen at least most of the later seasons and have backstory and context for a lot of the "reclaim what's rightfully ours" "alteans are a foul race" mumbo jumbo

lance: 10,000=1,000+10 keith: 1,000x10 lance: shut up

hunk's face when he's eating the food goo gshsdfgd

and then he keeps eating it anyway

honestly we stan

yours truly could never, it looks disgusting

awwwwww space mice!! babies!!

lance how can you possibly blame keith for the galra-

this child i swear

"i'LL sTiCk YoU iN a WoRmHoLe"

what. are you doing. lance. lance put your arms down.

coran doing math on his fingers is me

sdfhsdf pidge looks so alarmed when hunk's belly rumbles after he eats all that food goo she's like "pls dont throw up again im too young to die"

ok that thing allura does where she turns the whole room into a galaxy

thats awesome

can she do that to my room i want a galaxy nightlight on my ceiling

"LOOK AT YOUR PRIMITIVE SYNAPSES FIRING AWAY IN THEIR LITTLE BRAIN CAGE" I LOVE CORAN he can never say anything in simple terms

born leader in control at all times............. great idea giving that job to the escaped war prisoner with ptsd, not like its gonna make it worse or anything, not at all

PIDGE IS SO CUTE WHEN SHE GETS ASSIGNED THE GREEN LION SHE LOOKS SO DELIGHTED

lance's frickin

sparkly teeth

i sigh

don't make that face dude

also his eyebrows are very thin

like

this isn't news to anyone at all

but while we're talking about his face

are they just like that or do u think he gets them done

idk

idk

moving on

"you will life the team up and hold them together" yes hunk you shes looking right at you the lion hologram is right in front of your face

coran already busting out the terrible dad jokes i love him

shiro. shiro you know keith. you know keith very well. you should know better than to tell him to do a potentially dangerous thing like going off to find the red lion all by himself. he should not be left unsupervised. do you know what happens when keith is left unsupervised. DO YOU. BECAUSE I DO.

"if you get stranded don't worry, they're nice relaxing places to live out the rest of your lives K BYE" "waIT-"

dfhgsfdgsd pidge jumping on shiro's back like a spooped monkey

shiro did not flinch at all under her weight, dang. like, obviously he flinched, alien sloth buddy nearly gave our guy a frickin heart attack, but being climbed does not affect him at all

i love the little three-eyed pikachu caterpillar bunny things

"i wonder if hunk and lance are having as good a time as us"

*hunk and lance screaming halfway across the universe*

hm. i'd say probably not.

"I THOUGHT CORAN SAID THESE PLANETS WERE PEACEFUL." "MAYBE PEACEFUL MEANS SOMETHING ELSE IN ALTEAN."

"what if i start crying? TOO LATE I'M ALREADY CRYING" me during social interactions

he yeet

sdfhfdsgsd hunk's mutinous grumbling is such a mood i love him so much

pidge babbling for the entire canoe ride is me writing this post and shiro and the alien sloth buddy looking at each other is anyone unfortunate enough to have made it this far probably

"what if my feet don't touch the pedals? WHAT IF THERE AREN'T EVEN PEDALS?!?!?!?!" me learning how to drive

;-; shiro calming pidge down by intentionally repeating advice that her own father gave is so 🥺 he is a Big Brother

pidge's big grin before she runs off to get the lion ;-; she's so cuTE

shiro is so proud ;-;

HUNK SAVES THE DAY!!

dfgsdfs and immediately gets sick to his stomach

"i almost puked out there. i felt like hunk!" "think how i felt. i am hunk."

"finger counting is more of an art than a science" i felt that

arus! the planet is arus! not arusia. my bad.

"girl, you've already activated my par-" *tired dad voice* "lance" lance what does that even mean what were you trying to say do i even want to know

ah. yes. voltron. the fearless snake-worm warrior.

"STAYING" "LEAVING" "STAYING" "SNAKE"

oh my gosh this episode is so long ive watched the equivalent of two already and there's still 22 minutes left this is a movie im watching a movie

allura and her dad ;-;

i love that nobody in the show ever addresses the fact that none of them signed up for this, they just got yote into space in a blue lion right into the middle of an intergalactic war and the first alien they met happened to be a princess who said "ok y'all are my army now" and they were just fine with it

not like they had anything else to do

like school

or whatever keith was doing

dfgsd hunk's face when he sees how skinny the armor looks on the mannequin. i feel u my dude.

"aww, you got a cute little baya-"

pidge omg

"that's a pretty big ship" yeah there are a lot of ships in this show that that sentence is applicable to, buddy

"you made fun of me for that" "and i'm proud of that, but-" these t w o

pidge just wants her family back ;-;

"patience yields focus" oh boy

space mice save the day!!

pidge's immediate attachment to rover is so cute im gonna cry its her lil buddy

omg its one of those caterpillar things like slav but orange ehehehehe

man, little does shiro know...

keith pouting and yelling at the red lion sfhsdfgdsfg

"I'M BONDING WITH YOU"

"you're not getting this lion" keith... sweetie, they... they already... they already have it... you're the one trying to get it...

YEAH SEE OK WHEN LEFT TO HIS OWN DEVICES KEITH LAUNCHES GALRA TROOPS INTO SPACE AND ACCIDENTALLY FALLS IN HIMSELF, HE SHOULD NOT BE LEFT UNSUPERVISED AT ANY TIME EVER HE IS SO LUCKY RED WOKE UP AND GRABBED HIM

so like am i the only one who imagines the lions to have like feminine/maternal consciousnesses

ik keith and hunk have referred to red and yellow as "he" and shiro doesnt really refer to black as anything but like ive read so many fics where the lions have maternal instincts toward their paladins and stuff that its just become canon for me

ok so that ion cannon looks terrifying, 10/10 would not want to be on the wrong side of that thing

"i'm nodding. is everyone else nodding?" "yes." fdshsdfhsdf

fdhsdfsdfjhgsfjdhkmmjfa

hunk's lion: slams into keith's lion from the side

hunk: COMBINE

keith's lion: topples over

keith: ?????

hunk: ...

lance's perfectly normal response to getting stuck in an alien tractor beam: what the cheese

form voltron!!!!!

this sequence is still really cool, i love the animation

i will admit tho the face peeking out of black's mouth has always kinda weirded me out a little

"I'M A LEG!!" yes u are u funky little paladin

kaboom

dfhsdfgsdf imagine if voltron's formation was actually powered by hunk's screaming that would be hilarious

theyre all so concerned dfhsdf i love them

"defenders of the universe, huh? that's got a nice ring to it."

.

.

and *cut*

GOLLY GEE THIS EPISODE IS FINALLY OVER I CAN STOP TYPING AND HIT POST I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO EDIT THIS MONSTROSITY YOU GET THE BLUNT UNPOLISHED FIRST DRAFT HERE YOU GO why did i do this

[theresa-of-liechtenstein]

3, 7, 19, 20 for the writer ask thing!

sure!! here you go <3

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

The incredibly cheesy ending scene to the epistolary novel I’ll never write (which I described here), which is the only scene that will be written in anything other than a text message, a handwritten note, or otherwise. i will not provide any context x but yes this is a coming-of-age story. it’s supposed to be a subversion of the usual archetypal american high school story tho

Seeing that her parents and Lucas’ were most likely gearing up to converse for the rest of Time itself, Lou decided to traipse around the field for the last time.

Excusing herself, she stepped away from the group. For a fleeting second, she watched Lucas in animated conversation with Martin. [nothing to do with cabin pressure martin, may i remark; it was just a conveniently two-syllable name] There would be time, at least in the next few months or so, for them to talk about what came next.

Tonight would not be that time.

Adjusting her mortarboard cap, she walked away, heading for the bleachers. She hadn’t spent time here for the last four years. As she climbed the metal steps and chose a seat high above the field, she realized just how far she’d come since then.

The thin yellow robe was no shield for the chill setting in. Gathering it about her as she sat, she sighed and propped her feet up on the metal seat in front of her.

Her thoughts flew over the past four years. Much had remained the same. She still saw herself in the mirror every day. Her integrity had never been compromised; for the most part, she was fundamentally the same.

But in others, she was not and never would be—and those changes would be difficult to quantify.

She sighed again.

“Thinking deep thoughts, Lou?”

Lou whipped her head up and gasped. “Otto Rhee!”

He stood next to her, silhouetted against the setting sun. He looked supremely awkward in an ill-fitting shirt and tie. Lou hadn’t seen him in about a year. To her great relief, her friend, had managed to stay just the same as before, as always. At least in appearance.

“Congratulations, Lou,” he said. “You’ve made it.” As he usually did, he sat next to her without asking. Lou made room for him on the bleacher, adjusting her voluminous outfit as she did so.

They looked out over the field in companionable silence, and somehow Lou knew that Otto—Otto who could have been a brother to her, Otto who was a brother to her in all the ways that mattered—was seeing the same things on that field. Four years of elongated snapshots, a moment stretched almost too long. UN conferences and dinners in fast-food joints, honors history class. Standing in the deserted road, where the weeds grew between the cracks, and screaming at the sky. And in every microcosm [it was literally midnight, i couldn’t be bothered to use that word properly] there they were. Always the three of them. Otto and Martin and Lou, racing down empty hallways, biking to Cassidy’s around the corner, scaring each other when they stayed too late at school, the lights gone out and everyone else gone. Significant looks, texts sent across the room.

The way all three of them—Otto to Lou to Martin and back around—when they had asked what they shared in common.

Lou looked sidelong and Otto, and Otto at her.

The spell broke, and they were sitting together again—just Lou and Otto, Otto and Lou.

They stared at each other once more before simultaneously saying, “Martin!”

And indeed, Martin was running up the bleachers towards them, his black robe billowing in the breeze. Lucas pounded up the steps, not far behind.

Lou and Otto rose to meet them, and they all smiled.

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

Detail-oriented. I have to describe everything or it just doesn’t work. “Show not tell” was always my least favorite rule (though I have always tried my best to follow it!) because I’m telling you a story, not making a movie! Oral storytelling made up a lot of my childhood, and I should hope it shows in my style.

also my dialogue feels kind of punchy sometimes, I rarely have people talk in drawn out sentences bc im the only person i know who talks that way unless it’s important they do so.

i’m not making it up, people have told me these things in some form or another (mostly in the form of getting penalized for telling rather than showing)

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

I have a habit of using fragments far too often. And em dashes. i also can never leave out the wind. if i don’t talk about the wind at some point, consider it a forgery /s

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

i wrote a novel about power as a little project earlier this year to distract myself >.< and it was a lot of practice at negative character development; I mean where the character ends up becoming worse at the end of the narrative instead of better, but I don’t know if there’s an actual word for that haha. it didn’t cross my mind until after I’d written it, though!

that novel was about the price of selling off your soul in order to obtain power. it was set in a political setting to push that point. the protag started off with a humble beginning. but spoiler alert, the protag gets the power she desires at the end of the novel. the clincher is that she does so at a steep cost. nobody respects her anymore; they only fear her. her best friend, sister, and younger brother distance themselves from her and she’s basically alone at the end of the novel, except for the people who have the same thirst for power as she does. the methods that she’s used to gain that power are also INCREDIBLY ethically questionable, and the only way she managed to wiggle free of those was her privilege (as my favorite character pointed out while submitting a resignation letter, which is one of the more satisfying scenes I’ve ever written)

it’s also a cautionary tale because the protag and her closest cronies check all the boxes for what people of a certain ideological bent would consider an “inclusivity win.” sure, she ends up in a really high position of power, but it’s not really a win after all because of all the heads she had to step on to get there. again, i really didn’t think hard about it until i had finished and started re-reading (and even now it sounds like the novel is much cooler than it really is: it was written over the course of three months and it shows!) and once i sent it off to some of the people who asked me to read it, it was immensely obvious how echo-chamber-y the discussion of representation and power can get. for example, one person immediately assumed i was holding the protag up as the very inclusivity win she is not (this person literally asked me, “Did you base Aileen’s leadership off of yours?” HELL to the NO! i was literally bout to SCREAM. as a person aileen is pretty decent and i could vibe with her, but as a politican aileen is morally bereft!!) but that could just be the weakness of my writing in retrospect

but i want to close with two extracts from robert bolt’s A Man for All Seasons, which I couldn’t put in the epigraph because it isn’t in the public domain and it also might be too long.

MORE: In matters of conscience, the loyal subject is more bounden to be loyal to his conscience than to any other thing.

CROMWELL: And so provide a noble motive for his frivolous self-conceit!

MORE: It is not so, Master Cromwell—very and pure necessity for respect of my own soul.

CROMWELL: Your own self, you mean!

MORE: Yes, a man’s soul is his self! ...

MORE (Looking into Rich’s face, with pain and amusement): [...] Why Richard, it profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world... but for Wales!

[villanevest]

"You're Her Type": Anna and Eve and the Garden of Evil (+ how Eve and Villanelle learn and love)

hello everybody i have had more wine so now you're going to be subjected to my Opinions. today, we are going to be talking about eve and anna, specifically in the context of their respective relationships with villanelle. i believe that, as we wind up to another season finale, and our characters make some pretty defining choices about one another, this is a comparison that killing eve invites -- it's no coincidence that after six episodes of relative radio silence on the matter, konstantin returned anna to the show's discourse in 2x07. so buckle up. a little signposting: first we're going to break down how eve and villanelle engage with the idea of love, then contrast anna and eve's moral frameworks, and then finally explore how anna and eve have gone from almost mirror images of one another to completely divorced in villanelle's mind, and why that's a good thing. i will try and keep this shit concise, but y'all know how these turn out.

now as i've mentioned before, killing eve is a precarious cantilever of parallels. eve/villanelle are obviously our most important and riveting example of this -- initially, they have their resemblance, but we watch as they slowly and softly kill their old selves until they complement each other seamlessly. but eve/anna is a crucial secondary parallel because it contextualises the primary; it situates villanelle and eve's mutual obsession. 

i believe that as we progress through our formative years, the people around us provide us with experiences and patterns that teach us how to love, and what to expect from love. this can sometimes set us up for life (leaving us with a model that drives us to seek out healthy and productive dynamics), but sometimes, it means we don't know how to recognise or cultivate genuine affection, and we get trapped in damaging cycles. i've said before that i think eve sits on the psychopathy spectrum, but i also think that growing up, she had strong examples of relationships, which is why she is such an accomplished long-term chameleon -- she was able to maintain a marriage and friendships. yes, this was partially through self-repression, but at a base level, eve has the formulae to pass in these typical emotional environments. 

villanelle, on the other hand? anna tells eve that villanelle's father was a drunk, and her mother passed away. i doubt that villanelle had ANY actual relationships, let alone good ones, with family. she's exceptionally intelligent and a very fast learner (which anna asserts and we have confirmed on-screen almost every episode), and she's versatile. this is why she's able to craft and adopt the perfect character/personality for a particular situation -- she's built up a repertoire of dialects, micro-expressions, cue responses, etc. that allow her to smoothly navigate short-term interactions (e.g. with Sebastian, with Gemma). but prior to anna, villanelle has no people she can invest in and expect a returned investment, so she's never had the opportunity to develop skills beyond the superficial. she gets what she wants through charisma, a calculated blend of innocence and sex appeal, and transactions (i do this, you do that). 

but then villanelle meets anna, and undoubtedly forms an imprint on her of some kind, as her first "reciprocal" relationship -- the first adult to treat villanelle like she has value. obviously, the ethics of student/teacher affair are EXTREMELY dicey, but getting into that discourse will take us outside my intended scope. so here's how eve and anna differ. 1) proximity. villanelle and anna are together all the time, and this gives rise to their relationship. villanelle and eve, in the first season, are almost always apart. initially, their fascination is at least partly driven by mystery. it's not a "crime of opportunity". this is pretty much the most difficult long-distance mess imaginable. essentially, villanelle and eve both take an active role -- they pursue each other deliberately -- rather than a passive one. it's not a matter of convenience. 2) commitment. for anna, villanelle was an avenue of tourism, a compartment kept self-contained which anna could visit to re-explore youth and sexuality. but villanelle was not allowed to bleed into the rest of her life; anna wanted to keep job-husband-image just-so while also having villanelle when desired (cake had and eaten too). eve's whole life, however, orbits villanelle. her husband, her friends, her job -- these are discarded as acceptable sacrifices on the path to villanelle, rather than prioritised. while anna (potentially due to guilt) idealises the memory of her husband, eve considers niko disposable, and is a clearer iteration of herself without him.

3) psychology. anna is inarguably fucked up (she had an affair with her STUDENT), but i don't think she registers as a psychopath. she displays empathy, remorse, reticence to cause harm. eve? villanelle kind of nailed it with the "like us" thing. and this brings us to how anna and eve each fit into villanelle's life, and way of life. im making an absolute reach of a biblical reference with my title, but if for a minute we did position anna/eve as adam/eve, we end up with two items of real relevance. firstly, that eve is the one who takes the bite of the apple, and secondly, that eve is created from anna/adam. the apple as we know is symbolic of the temptation of sin. eve eats, and is cast from paradise forever. what i love about this, though, is that our eve isn't cast from paradise, she's cast from prison. eve's boring office job in witness coordination, her stale marriage, her enactment of normality day in, day out -- it isn't a utopia, not by any stretch. and i think that's only really starkly apparent to eve after all those trappings are gone; once she feels "wide awake", she realises exactly how long and how deeply she's been asleep. but anna? anna doesn't give in, or rather, she doesn't give in enough. she sleeps with villanelle, and spends time with villanelle, but when she's confronted with villanelle's capacity for violence, she retreats. she calls the police and cuts villanelle out of her life (which im obviously not going to criticise her for; it's a justifiable response), although it's too late by then. she's stranded in this halfway purgatory -- a woman whose adolescent lover murdered her husband; a woman who isn't good but won't commit to being bad, CAN'T commit. anna is undoubtedly morally grey, but (and bear with me here, because i can't think of a better way to articulate this) anna is kind of weak. she never had the guts to look at her situation for what it was, to bother to try and see villanelle beyond what she wanted her to be. she was using villanelle -- someone she could feel good about helping while simultaneously bringing excitement to her mundane life -- and set her back down when villanelle became too much trouble. what we and Villanelle learn from this is that certain parts of who she is are attractive (irresistibly so) to other people, and others are repellent. 

which obliquely brings me to the second point, that eve is created from anna. as early as 1x02, we have our attention directed to the physical similarities between anna and eve, which is perhaps part of the initial draw to eve for villanelle, but we also have their differences immediately emphasised. eve is unique from the outset, because these repellent qualities -- the enjoyment of destruction, the dramatic flair, the violence, the efficiency -- are what excite her about villanelle in the first place. villanelle's beauty/charm/off-beat humour/loyalty all come into the picture later. at the beginning, there's just a string of bodies, and that's what sucks eve in. don't get me wrong, i think it's very much villanelle's personality that eve is obsessed with -- we could see her professional but  lack of personal interest in the Ghost -- but she has always understood villanelle in the context of her darkness. it never surprises her, only intrigues her. in 1x08, we have a number of direct comparisons between anna and eve, or at least, the show recreates the same situations with each of them and watches them respond entirely differently. 

we have anna pulling the gun on villanelle. the entire time, villanelle is relaxed, stating outright that anna doesn't have what it takes to shoot. she waits her out. she has no intentions of killing anna, even though she tells irina, "i don't love her anymore." we'll come back to the significance of that statement. 

later, in the tea room, eve has a gun levelled at villanelle, but again, villanelle is certain she won't fire. eve admits that no, she can't use the gun, but rather than turn it on herself as anna did, she makes villanelle an offer: come with me; it can be just the two of us, and we can talk. in a high stress environment, eve's response is to treat villanelle like a person, not a weapon or a thing. 

so villanelle runs. and that brings us to their final interaction of the season, when they meet in villanelle's paris apartment. as they lie together on the bed, eve pulls the knife, and villanelle tells her, "you can't."

this is where eve cleaves distinctly and irreversibly from anna in villanelle's mind. like i said, a fraction of eve's initial appeal is her similarity to anna, although it's also obvious that villanelle is very much attracted to eve in her own right (in 2x03, she calls the woman she sleeps with "eve" and not "anna"). but then in 1x04, eve gets out of the car to face villanelle, and villanelle has dinner with her in 1x05, and eve begins to overwrite anna in villanelle's mind. how can we be sure of this? because in 1x08, when villanelle is sneaking past anna and irina in the apartment, she pauses and stares, even though it's vital that she get to her passport quickly. what's notable about this particular moment is that this is the only shot where anna could easily be mistaken for eve. this is what prompts villanelle to linger for that extra beat. 

so we have that initial similarity, then a merging, then an overtaking. but when eve stabs villanelle, she becomes removed entirely from anna in villanelle's mind. she goes from "you're like anna" to "you're more interesting than anna" to just "eve". because along many other things, eve has the capacity to surprise villanelle. she doesn't take the easy or the expected choice. not only does she understand villanelle's language of extremities and violence, she speaks it. this is what villanelle means by "like us" in 2x07; she and eve are more similar than they are different. 

and now we're circling back to villanelle's defence to irina -- "i don't love her anymore!" obviously, this line carries all kinds of implications, but the most critical is that villanelle conceptualises herself as someone capable of love. she doesn't say "i don't like her anymore" or "i don't want her anymore" or "i'm not obsessed with her anymore". she chooses and uses "love". 

with anna, though, it never could be a mutual, reciprocal love, because she and villanelle don't mean the same thing when they use that word. they have fundamentally different understandings of what love means. so even though, ostensibly, it seems like villanelle broke her learned pattern by seeking anna out, she actually perpetuated it -- anna is another authority-position adult who discards villanelle, who misunderstands her and pushes her away (again, fair enough; villanelle is very complicated and dangerous). but eve? look at eve's initial constructions of love. she loved bill, but remains infatuated with his murderer. she loved niko, but when he questioned her rather than supported her, she discarded him too, and went from upset to acceptance in a matter of DAYS after what was presumably a 15yrs+ partnership. 

and then look at her with villanelle. it's not conventional or healthy, but they have a much more compatible interpretation of interpersonal relationships. they're both quite manipulative, but they don't see this as an issue -- the manipulations are a means to the end of helping the other. villanelle is very transactional (she sends eve clothes and perfume, wants to make her favourite recipes), but eve responds very well to the expressing affection through gifts and gestures; far less well when niko and kenny try to show care by giving eve instructions or suggestions. they each romanticise eve stabbing villanelle ("i think about it all the time"), yet neither of them believed villanelle would go through with the hit on eve, because violence plays a deliberate, rather than random, role in their dynamic, which they both comprehend innately. eve stabbed villanelle to assert their equality; she probably did it because villanelle's first response was to say, "you can't", and eve needed to prove she could. but they're on different terms by the time they meet again, and harming each other is no longer a productive currency, no longer has purpose; instead, they hurt others, and help each other, as a way of affirming the growth of their connection. 

for eve and villanelle alike, the other represents a deviation from their established learned patterns, but an important choice for them personally. eve isn't going for the stable, normal relationship that she's been brought up to seek out; instead, she's gravitating towards the possibility of someone who embraces her complexity and darkness, and will give her space and means to explore and express herself. and villanelle isn't recreating a nonreciprocal relationship where she is used/enjoyed and then discarded; she's chosen someone who has the potential to be longer-term, who genuinely cares about her holistically. 

from where we're standing before the finale, it looks like they may learn to "love" each other, in the way they are each capable of. villanelle and eve aren’t a relationship that can exist in heaven, because they’re not people of paradise; whether they’re the apples or the snakes or the gods in this equation, the pertinent fact is that are each other’s gateways into a world that fits them, and gives them what they need. is that fucked up? absolutely. is it kind of nice? I think so. it’s certainly gripping as all hell to watch.

xx. see y’all on the other side if we survive tomorrow’s episode.

[daddyzarc]

Hot take: The Barians are the only innocent creatures in all of yugioh

You’re probably wondering what I mean by this, but I have a perfectly sound explanation.

Look at these comparisons. 

Notice anything peculiar? Let’s look a little closer.

That's better.

For those unaware, you may notice that the Barians lack a “mouth”. A mouth is “the opening in the lower part of the human face, surrounded by the lips, through which food is taken in and from which speech and other sounds are emitted.”

Why is this important? Well, because a mouth is an essential piece of the body part to engage in the act of Vore. Since Barians lack the ability to vore due to their own anatomy, they are unable to vore ever. In fanart or in the show, these angels are incapable of being involved in any of that stuff. They’re completely in the safe zone, they’re untouchable as far as the show puts them because you can’t do anything with these guys in THAT specific situation.

BUT WAIT, i hear yall typin away with a rebuttal

With the the introduction of Vrains, there exist another species of creatures without mouths—the Ignises. 

Examining the images above, this other unique species also lack these crucial mouths, so you could argue that there are 2 Yu-Gi-Oh groups that are entirely sinless. And this is a fair argument without the context of what the Ignises could do.

But could that could they do exactly?

These images say it all. They could absolutely do that within the canon of yugioh.

So without a doubt, Ignises have the wholly ability to vore other creatures with ease. And this isn’t a one-off thing either, like they did it once and that was it. Ai is shown to have done this on multiple occasions within LINK VRAINS, his homeworld, presumably in a natural form. It is safe to assume that the Ignises absorb data and dismantle prey like this.

Knowing this, Barians ARE the only creatures incapable of voring.

But I hear you screaming. “But Dyzarc, you cranky dragon you, whadda bout anal vore? Cock vore? Absorption! Plus they have HUMAN forms, too. WITH MOUTHS which means the Barians are fully capable of eating! Theyre no different than any other ygo char!”

You could make those arguments, but I also have several points to refute this.

First, the human forms.

You could say that their human forms exist so that they can vore in that sense. That’s a very reasonable assumption.

And yes.

Yes, they could do that.

Yet, human form isn’t really Barian. It’s kind of off-canon, in a sense. They only took that form because Earth is hazardous to their bodies and they cannot maintain their true forms in that unnatural state. Within the closed system of their own environment (or Barian World), which is what I care about, the Barian species does not naturally have a mouth or a human body and therefore cannot partake in that act, canon or otherwise.

Furthermore, if a person wants to draw or write vore involving a Barian  as the predator, they simply cannot do it. They must turn the Barian into a human or face the simple fact that Barians cannot vore (or a third option*).

*Theoretically, you could slap a mouth onto them or imply that a mouth exists underneath their muzzle, which only reveals itself when the Barian needs it. However, this is no different than giving a snake tiddies or putting legs on a shark just to fulfill a kink.

Secondly, I’ll focus on the other vore methods by showing pictures of some raw Barian crotches.

Now I may be blind as an olm, but they are clearly naked around the groin area. They lack any visible extremities that could be considered an anus or a cock too. Unless their anatomy works similarly to reptiles as in these organs are hidden behind a thin layer of rock around their crotch and only protrude when it is needed, they lack any organs that can perform cock or anal vore. 

Excluding their physical appearance, Barians are canonically born from a circumstance other than, say, laying eggs or live birth or asexual reproduction. Meaning if they DO have those body parts, it’ll be a vestigial structure with no other purpose than to sit there and look stalactitey, probably kinda gross-looking considering what they are. 

Of course a “cock” could function like the giant claw of a fiddler crab, where it’s mainly just for show to prove who has the biggest one (and so deserving of their territory, which is why Nasch is the leader. I’ll get into this later on why this could be the case) as well as to help them fight, find a mate, or exert their dominance.

Also, although I do not believe this image represent the entirety of Barian physiology

It is most likely that their insides consist mainly of veins and a... heart?? A star fragment, ball of spike? Whatever the case, I don’t see a stomach pouch nor do the Barians have a reason to have such a thing. The lack of a mouth and stomch makes sense in the “overarching picture” of how a Barian functions. Think about it from a human perspective. Why do we eat? Humans require food in order to produce energy to survive, grow, and reproduce, plain and simple. 

Barians, on the other hand, live in a toxic environment void of life other than themselves. They do not need to eat for there is nothing to eat.

My personal theory is that they don’t require energy through consumption of food items like humans do. They either get it from photosynthesizing since their sun appears to be very close to their planet

Or maybe the "heart” is some sort of radioactive material that supplies them with an ample amount of energy. This powerful energy surges through the body through the help of the “roots” and essentially fuels them with life without the need for the consumption of food. My assumption is that the Barian itself is the roots and hearts, while everything else is just a rocky mass separate from the actual thing (im not gonna go super in-depth into the mind-body dualism thing btw. Just think about as a hermit crab with a shell with the “shell” being made of minerals)

And if we bounce off the idea that the shell is composed of minerals, or a rock, thus being very susceptible to erosion and damage as seen in how Vector broke pieces of his body during one of the duels

They most likely naturally regenerate their body parts by burying themselves deep into the ground so that the Rock Cycle 

can repair and grow their forms. See, this process does not require food (which fits into their biology very well) and instead mandates that the Barian digs deep enough to begin the process of melting down its old, damaged body. The heart and roots will remain above the metling point of course; in fact, they play a crucial role in getting the Barian back into its proper shape. After reforming a new shell, the Barian emerges from the ground like a bunch of baby sea turtles, completely healed as long as the “molt” wasn’t disturbed. 

Furthermore, this molting cycle could explain the presence of any “cocks” found within the Barian. Molting is extremely energy-consuming and time-consuming; rushing a molt will result in an imperfect shell or other impurities, or death if the impurity is life-threatening. The hardness, body structure, addition of any extra parts, and safe resurfacing, or preventing their new bodies from being damaged as they emerge from the ground, also depends on how well the Barian could alter the temperature and pressure of its surroundings magma (molten rock) to result in the best possible shell. This means that the Barians with poor molts are young and inexperienced while Barians with the best molt are old and experienced. 

(hey can u find a better pic, this one isnt a good example)

This also works with how a big “cock” (in an abstract sense) could show their dominance over the other Barians. Or, in this case, the cock is actually extra formations to show off what they are capable of. Regular and large racks, for example, showcase a Barian’s skill at creating a new shell, with the larger and more angular the rack, the more powerful or experienced they are. This is especially difficult to do at a consistence rate, so the Barians capable of carrying it off tend to be on top of the pecking area. Nasch’s abilities to create so many horns means he’s deserving of his spot as the leader. 

The Barian pecking order probably goes down the list on how complex—in that they managed to form a perfect, angular rack—their composition is. 

Obviously, the chart simplifies what makes a great Barian. The Barian pecking order is much more complex than this.

For example, Mizael, despite the complexity in parts of the body like the face “mask”, is lower in the hierarchy than expected. Why? There is a lot to dissect about Barian physiology, but a peculiar detail is their carapaces. Unlike the rest of the body, which consist of a rocky formation, Mizael’s mask is a carapace. This could be easily seen when Nasch was briefly seen without these carapaces in this scene.

As seen on bodies of these Barians, they appear to have many carapaces which are separate from their main bodies, such as: 

These carapace could be involved in the pecking order. The fineness and sharpness of the carapaces gives the illusion of strength (notice that Nasch is covered in carapaces while Durbe practically has none) as well as adding to their maximum size.

But they could also play another vital role...  Defense Mechanism

It may sound strange, but I believe that Barians are built solely for defense.... 

Let’s take a look at a creature whose behavior and structural patterns mimics the Barians, the noble Hermit Crab.

I like to compare these two species due to their essentially parallelism in terms of “form follows function” such as:

(Marine Hermit Crab adding extra defenses to its shell using a venomous sea anemone; similar to a Barian adding sharp carapaces to its already tough, rocky exterior)

Comparing the likeness of the two, it could be assumed that the carapaces provide extra protection over the Barians’ main defense (rocky shell). The carapaces aren’t involved in the molting cycle, of course, due to their complicated build. It’ll be a massive waste to destroy them. Since a Barian could remove them at will, they most likely store the pieces above ground (or above melting point) and molt without them. After they finish molting, they retreive the carapaces. Again, very similar to the molting process of a hermit crab.

It may feel like I am going on a tangent of Barian anatomy rather than focus on their ability, or thereby lack of, to vore, but these details can be used to explain why Barians cannot vore from a historical standpoint.

They cannot vore because they are built like a prey. 

Like hermit crabs, they are “bottom-feeders” with no prey of their own—mostly in part due to the absence of food on their home planet. Instead of being designed like a predator with the capability to vore, a mouth, they are the exact opposite in that they have only the defensive capabilities to defend themselves against a predator.

So following this, if there is a strong need for defensive pressure, who is the offensive pressure? A creature cannot be so defensively driven (thick shell, regeneration, armor, etc.) without the presence of a harmful force.

If it isn’t obvious, their predator are the aqueous Astral Beings. 

Astral Beings are the perfect Barian predator (perhaps co-evolution played a part in this, or y’kno eliphas just said fuck those guys, lets kill em). 

Moving along, not only are they armed with mouths, water is one of the natural forces that could heavily erode rocks, as seen along beaches, rivers, and cliff-sides, into a pile of sand and mud. Barians, with their outermost covering consisting of rock, are especially vulnerable to being broken down by the Astral Beings, exposing their sensitive cores to a likely death. 

Their main defense against this is either: 

(1) Regeneration, they can drop limbs and endure damage to their shell without fear of death, then repair any injuries during their molt

(2) Armor, the sharp carapaces (made of metals that can withstand water) can ward off potential attackers

A third defense that follows the how Astral Beings vore Barians in a predator/prey relationship could also be seen in the habitat of the Barians, or the presence of the Sea of Ill Intent. 

Instead of being made of water, the sea is made of a very strong acid. Why is this important? For any of you that took a chemistry course, the proper technique of mixing acid and water (i.e the Astral Being), you must add acid into the water in that order. The flow of acid into water mixes the two better, preventing a reaction to occur. Adding water into acid, on the other hand, causes the water to react with the acid due to poor initial mixing, causing it to boil and potentially explode.

For this case, the rocky exterior of the Barian allows them to be submerged into the acid without risk of immediate death. Unless the Astral Being wants to harm itself by going into the acid to pursue its prey, they most likely will abandon the prey. If the acid starts to dissolve Barian’s shell (say, the Astral Being attempting to stakeout the Barian) they could regenerate the broken pieces during their next molt.

So not only Barians cannot vore, but they are hapless prey at that! 

They are far from helpless prey—in the same way a Rhinoceros is considered a prey animal—but there is plenty of evidence that lead up to the fact they are indeed a prey species. 

And the fact that they are the bottom of the barrel scavenger, harmless, unable to be a fearsome predator, only a potential prey at best...

They’re just innocent.

Now you say “Kay Dyzarc, ya made me read a longass analysis on the biology of a bunch of space rocks to prove some sickass vore fantasy of yours. Now what. What was the point.” 

Welcome to Zarc n’ Pals, installment 1 baby, strap in for a wild ride