#and noire. and the beautiful movie some like it hot

[james-silenthill]

Ohhh I've god to figure out my very own batman verse

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Veronica Lake (I Married a Witch, Sullivan's Travels)—her look is so iconic they used her as a visual model for jessica rabbit in who framed roger rabbit and a bunch of other femme fatale types in cartoons and live action alike. i didnt think i liked women and then i saw her in sullivans travels and said gee i hope this doesnt awaken anything in me! every role ive seen her in she absolutely oozes an aura of "i know people would ask me to step on them" and her EYES bro every photo ive looked at for this submission its like shes piercing thru time and space to judge me <3

Eartha Kitt (Anna Lucasta, St. Louis Blues)—My friend and I have a saying: NOBODY is Eartha Kitt. A thousand have tried, and they've all come up empty and will continue to do so. Everyone knows her for something: from "Santa Baby" to Yzma in Emperor's New Groove to Catwoman to making Lady Bird Johnson cry for the Vietnam War. She was a master of comedy and sex, an extremely vocal activist, and she aged like fine wine... I honestly don't know what I can say about her that hasn't already been said, so I'll stick to linking all my propaganda. Like what else do you want from me. She was iconic at everything she ever did. Literally name another. How can anyone even think of her and not want to absolutely drown?

This is round 5 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Veronica Lake:

Her HAIR, her FIGURE, her VOICE, the way she wore LEATHER AND SANG SONGS FOR NO REASON.

I don't believe there's a person on earth who can watch Veronica Lake in I Married A Witch and not be struck by how gorgeous she is. She had that youthful wonder about her that almost every Hollywood starlet was trying to achieve. Her hairstyle (peekaboo bangs) became an iconic Hollywood style after she popularized it, and made her signature look all the more suggestive. Also, witches are tumblrs favorite!

ICONIC hair sweep

The US government literally begged her to change her hairstyle because it was TOO HOT to handle and women who copied it were getting their hair caught in machinery

Her hairstyle was so iconic and popular that the war department had to come out with a PSA instructing lady ironworkers with ways they could pin their hair up to avoid it getting bound in machinery. [https://veteranlife.com/military-history/veronica-lake/]

She played a lot of femme fatale roles but my favorite is Sullivan’s Travels opposite Joel McRea, which is a comedy. She became famous for her hair style at the time—she wore it long and parted on one side so it would fall over half her face in a very sexy way. They called it a peek-a-boo I think. You’ve definitely seen Bugs Bunny dressed up like her, so I think if she’s being honored in such a way she’s very cool.

look at her

she's GORGEOUS in her little witch outfits that she wore for promos and also in the oversized coats and pajamas she wore throughout the movie...she's got RANGE

My Grandpa supposedly dated her in high school, he drove her to school in his car every day. This is legend in the family.

She has gorgeous hair, has got the smouldering look over the shoulder down PAT, and is just drop-dead gorgeous too!

Schizophrenic icon, popularized the peekaboo hairdo long before Jessica Rabbit

She’s just so prettyyyyy

So much hot in such a tiny package. She was no more than 5 feet tall, and some reports claim as small as 4'9"

If you picture a femme fatale in your head, almost certainly Veronica Lake had a hand in shaping the image you think of. She came to embody the look of the noir leading lady as well as the sound and the performance. Certified Noir Baddie.

Eartha Kitt:

"A hot vintage woman who was not just known for her voice, beauty, poise, and presence, but also her unapologetic ways of speaking about how she was mistreated in the show business as a girl who grew up on cotton fields in South Carolina in the 1930s through the 1940s coming to Broadway first and then Hollywood."

"Have you watched her sing?? Have you seen her face?? Have you heard her talk?? How could you not fall instantly in love. She makes me incoherent with how hot she is."

"She can ACT she can SING she can speak FOUR LANGUAGES she is a GODDESS!!! Although she is (rightfully) remembered for her singing, TV appearances (Catwoman my beloved), and later film roles, her early appearances in film are no less impressive or noteworthy!! She’s an amazing actress with so much charisma in every role. She was also blacklisted from Hollywood for 10 years for criticizing the Johnson administration/Vietnam War, so. Iconic. Also Orson Welles apparently called her “the most exciting woman in the world.”

"She had such a stunning, remarkable appearance, like she could tear you to shreds with just a glance- but the most undeniable part of her hotness was her voice, and it makes sense that it's what most people nowadays know her for. Nothing encapsulates the sheer magnetism of her singing better than this clip of her and Nat King Cole in St. Louis Blues, she pops in at 2:49. Also I know it's post-1970 but her song that was cut from Emperor's New Groove is likely to make you feel Feelings."

Even with as racist as Hollywood was in the 1950s and 60s, Eartha Kitt STILL managed to have a thriving career. She also once had a threesome with Paul Newman and James Dean, and called out LBJ over the Vietnam War so hard that it made First Lady Johnson cry. Eartha Kitt was talented, sexy, and a total badass activist.

[biteofcherry]

What the Doms and subs at Ruby Garden dress as for Halloween?

ah, Ruby Garden on Halloween shenanigans

I once said Cherie would dress up as Dom!Ari and announce she's dressed as the scariest big monster 😂 I also can imagine her dressing up as some sort of pixie slash wicked fae. Obligatory with lots of sparkling glitter! 😆With wings on her back which Ari could grab when she tried to run away after mouthing off. I don't know what Ari would dress as up, but his shirt would undoubtedly be unbuttoned and slutty. Maybe he could be Oberon from Midsummer night's dream?

I'd love Darling in something sexy and beautiful, so she could feel stunning and hot - perhaps some elegant vampire lady or noir type femme fatale. Steve would match her accordingly (if she's a vamp, he's also a vamp, if she's femme fatale he's a fedora wearing mobster).

Perhaps predictable, but I like the classic theme of Red Riding Hood with two big bad wolves for Doe, Bucky and Curtis. They could also go as Red Hood, wolf and huntsman. It fits them and their kinks.

Andy doesn't mind the themes and costume parties, but he's not much into really dressing up himself. So he's gonna be Batman, but in a Bruce Wayne costume 😆 So a nice, expensive suit. And Birdie would be Catwoman - lots of lap worming, being petted, but also more reason to be a bit playful.

I think Lloyd would have fun dressing up, since he's wicked. I could see him in some type of devil costume, with horns and a pitchfork with which he could poke. If he's the devil, then Pumpkin is his caught angel, whom he'll get to torture as he pleases. Though I can also see him dressed up as Gomez Addams and have Pumpkin be Morticia.

See Nick totally surprise Bonbon and melt her heart by getting them high quality, beautiful regency costumes, so they can go as Anthony and Kate from Bridgerton, or Mr Darcy and Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice, because he noticed she loves those books and movies.

[bigoltrashpile]

A Beautiful Dream

Hey there!! I'm back with yet another commission, once again by the wonderful @tkspersonaldump! This is a Butch and Noir fic, no spice this time, lol, just two skeletons being creepy. I hope you enjoy! And thanks again for commissioning!

Thunder rumbled faintly outside, rain slammed against the windows, and the wind howled.  It was perfect weather for a movie night.  Which was exactly why you were curled up against Butch on the couch, laughing along to the shitty movie Sans had picked.

The rest of the skeletons kept shooting Butch jealous glances, clearly mad that he was the one you had chosen to practically lay on top of.  As the night continued, and the storm only grew louder, your laughs became softer, and your yawns happened more often.

Finally, the movie ended, and the rest of the skeletons got up, beginning to clean up the snacks and blankets they had gotten out.  Or, half of them helped clean up.  The others were too busy “supervising.”

“BUTCH, GET YOUR LAZY ASS OFF THE COUCH SO I CAN CLEAN ALL YOUR CRUMBS,” Noir ordered.  He folded his arms and stomped his foot.

“sorry bro, too busy being the best mattress ever,” Butch winked.  “ain’t that right, sweetheart?”  No response.  “sweetheart?”  Butch glanced down at your face, and tried not to squeal.  You were asleep!  You had fallen asleep against him!  Your eyes were shut, mouth parted just a bit.  You looked so, so peaceful.

Now, all the others were much more jealous.  “i would’ve been a better mattress,” Hound huffed.

“I Call Dibs For Next Time,” Papyrus called quickly.

“sorry, can’t help that i’m their favorite,” Butch smirked.  “guess i’ll take ‘em up to my room, cause they picked me to sleep on.  wouldn’t wanna disappoint ‘em.”

With some angry growls and whispered threats (all quiet, so as not to wake you up), Butch picked you up bridal style.  You were so tiny and light, it was like you were made to fit perfectly in his arms.

As Butch walked up to his room, you began to stir.  “‘S the movie over?” you mumbled sleepily.

“yup, ya fell asleep.  don’t worry, ya can crash in my room.”

“It’s okay, I can go home.”  You tried to wiggle out of his arms, but Butch was too strong.

“no can do, doll.  it’s rainin’ cats and dogs out there, ya’d catch something.  or the wind would blow ya away.  i dunno, humans are so squishy and fragile.”

You pouted.  “I can go home, I’m not a napkin!”  Just as you spoke, lightning flashed, inseparable from the deafening crash of thunder.  “...Okay, maybe I’ll stay for the night.”  Good.  Butch didn’t know what he would do if you tried to leave.  “Do you have a shirt I could borrow?”

Butch’s soul fluttered.  “y-yeah, of course!”  Fuck, the thought of you wearing his clothes made his lower half a bit warm.  Nope, nope, focus.  Can’t get horny right now, then you definitely wouldn’t want to stay.  As soon as Butch got to his room, he set you on the bed before going to his closet.

Digging frantically, he managed to find a clean shirt.  It wasn’t nice or anything, but it was comfortable, and didn’t have any mustard stains, so that was a win in his book.  Plus, it would smell like you soon enough, and that was a huge win.

He tossed it to you.  You tried to catch it, but it just smacked you in the face with a soft fwump.  “Thanks,” you muttered from behind the fabric.

Just as Butch turned to leave, he let out a strained yelp.  You were taking your shirt off!  Right there, in front of him!

Oh fuck, oh fuck, you were so hot.  Your soft human belly looked so nice to squish, your hips had plenty of cushion that he wanted nothing more than to dig his fingers into, and your chest…shit there was no way he was getting out of this without a boner.

Before he could get too good of a look, you had swapped your shirt for Butch’s.  You looked amazing in it, but Butch just wanted to rip it back off.  No, no, he had to hold back.  Self control, Sans.

“Welp, I’m going back to bed,” you yawned.  “Are you sure it’s okay if I sleep here?”

“......yeah, yeah, you fell asleep with me downstairs, might as well continue our lil cuddle session,” he winked.  He hopped into bed, throwing off his shirt as he did.  He didn’t miss the way your eyes widened as you examined his ribs.  A smirk grew across Butch’s face, but he didn’t say anything.

“g’night, doll,” Butch said.  To his delight, you snuggled right up next to him.  Fuck, you were so warm.

“Good night,” you smiled.  You must have been very tired, because just a few minutes later, your breathing evened out, and you were once again asleep.

Butch smiled.  You were practically laying on top of him once again, using him like a big pillow.  He felt his eyes blip into hearts, and didn’t bother to force them back.

Knock knock knock.  Fuck, leave it to the others to interrupt the best moment of his life.  He was about to tell the culprit to fuck off, but the door swung open.

It was Noir.  “Are They Asleep?” his brother asked.

Butch nodded.  “yup.  passed right out.  they must be real tired.”  The shirt had ridden up your midriff, and Butch was gently tracing his phalanges up and down your side as he spoke.  “i dunno how much longer i can share ‘em with the rest of those dumbasses.”

Noir groaned.  “Me Too.  It’s Painful To Watch Them Try To Flirt, It’s Pathetic.”

“i know, they’re so desperate.”  He glanced back down at your peaceful face.  “guess we are too.”

Noir sighed.  “I Can’t Stop Thinking About Them.  They’re So Perfect.  I Just…I Want To Have Them All To Ourselves.”

“what if we just took ‘em then?”

“What?  Like…Away From Here?”

Butch nodded.  “we could get a lil place in the country.  real far away, the others would never find us.  no phones so they can’t call for help.”  A dreamy smile crept onto his face.  “just imagine it.  wouldn’t have to share, we’d have all their attention.  they’d be so dependant on us that they’d never leave.”

Noir let out a wistful sigh.  “That’s A Beautiful Dream…But It’s Just A Dream.  We Can’t Leave.  We Have Too Many Duties Here.”

“i know, i know, just…”  Subconsciously, Butch dug his phalanges into your hip.  You let out a whine in your sleep, and he quickly let go.  “just wanna pretend it could happen.”

Noir gently pushed some hair out of your face.  “I Do Too.”

The two brothers sat in silence.  Outside, the storm raged on.  As it did, the two of them could only fantasize about a life together.  With just the three of you.

[amostimprobabledream]

Colour in my dark side (Homelander x Goth!Reader)

Blame @blindmagdalena for this, ages ago we were discussing Homelander becoming attracted to a goth!Reader who is indifferent to him and this is what spawned. Enjoy!

It’s hellish hot.

The Con is swarming with people, and your all-black outfit isn’t helping at all. This is not your idea of a good time – it’s loud, bright, every fifth person stinks of B.O, and there’s always some kid shrieking somewhere and you’re hungry. Posters and clips of the Seven are playing everywhere – you’re sure if you did a three-hundred sixty degree spin, you’d be able to see a whole movie play out across the whole venue. Honestly, it’s too much. You’ve never really cared all that much about Supes, to be honest. Sure, saving people’s lives is admirable and they deserved every bit of credit and however much money one paid Supes for doing that. That all made sense.

But all this? The tacky clothing lines and toys and comics? The endless ad campaigns and shitty movies and TV shows? It was all just so much. You had no idea how any sane person could bear it, but then, you were pretty biased in that respect. And every one of the Seven except maybe Black Noir were so not your aesthetic – the cheesy grins and spangly suits made your eyes hurt.

So why are you here?

Because your friend Jen practically begged you to come with her. She’d had tickets for SupeCon for months. Apparently, her sister was originally going to come with her, but somewhere along the way, plans changed, things got confused and she couldn’t make it. Jen promised she didn’t expect you to pay for her sister’s ticket and that she’d treat you to lunch, just as long as she didn’t have to go alone. You’d dragged her to some weird events in your time, so you agreed, if slightly reluctantly.

But now you’re here, it’s exactly as bad as you thought it was going to be. And it’s about to get worse.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe the Seven are finally here!” Jen squeals and bounces up and down next to you, while you stand there watching her in befuddlement. No doubt you make an odd pair to anybody watching – she fits right in and you look like a crow amongst a flock of sparrows.

“I mean, yeah, they are scheduled to be.” You reply, in the most deadpan voice you can muster. Jen usually catches onto your sarcasm very quickly, you’ve perfected the art of saying it subtly, but today she’s too excited and it goes right over your head.

The Seven enter with screams of applause that makes you wince, wanting to clap your hands over your ears. Homelander is in the lead, of course, waving to the crowd and even giving a cheesy thumbs-up. Queen Maeve, A-Train, Black Noir and Starlight follow him, not as bombastic but each of them seem to have their fair share of fans too. You don’t know where The Deep is and it looks like they haven’t gotten around to replacing Translucent yet.

Jen is busy snapping pictures of them as they walk to their booths. Apparently there’s going to be a short Q&A later about whatever movie it is they’re supposed to be plugging at the moment. Apparently this one is a big deal because it’s the first one with Starlight in it, but Jen promised she wouldn’t make you stay for that, thank god.

“God, most people don’t look as good when you see them in person, but they’re all so good-looking!” Jen gushes, bouncing on her heels.

“I guess.” You offer neutrally, trying not to sound too critical because she’s here to have fun.

They look a little uncomfortable to you. Well, it’s hard to get any vibes from Black Noir, to be honest, but Maeve has a just-swallowed-a-lemon face and Starlight’s smile has a nervous edge to it. You read somewhere she used to be in beauty pageants as a kid and it shows when she’s in front of a crowd. A-Train and Homelander seem to be soaking in the attention, though, which doesn’t surprise you at all.

“Omg, hey, look this way!” Jen says, suddenly turning her phone the other way and leaning her head towards yours. “Picture!”

“Ugh, do we have to?” you ask, but you dutifully pose anyway, but you don’t smile. The flash stings your eyes and you blink, hard.

You blink several times, eyes watering a bit, but you manage to prevent them from leaking, which is good because you don’t want to fuck up your eyeliner. Now Jen is staring at the rapidly-forming queue, chewing her lip as she deliberates and you fish your phone out of your pocket and start scrolling through it, absent-mindedly.

“Fuck it, I’m going in.” she says, turning to you hopefully. “You wanna come? I know you don’t really like the Seven, but you could at least meet Black Noir yourself?”

"Yeah, I don't think so." you reply without looking up from your phone. "Standing in line for hours just so some Vought barbie doll can bare their teeth at me and give me an overpriced piece of junk with their name scrawled on it is not my idea of a good time."

Okay, maybe that was a bit mean - the heat and hunger is making you snippy, but fortunately for you Jen doesn't mind when you're grouchy so she simply laughs at you.

"Say what you want, Morticia, but I'm going to catch 'em all!" she grins at you. "I can't wait to talk to Starlight, she's the only one of the Seven I don't have any hand-signed merch of yet!"

You glance over at where the girl in question is sitting. Homelander gets the end table, obviously, since they're saving the best for last and if there's an emergency, he needs to be able to get out quickly (he's been known to crash through roofs before, apparently, so he's right next to the emergency exit door), but Starlight's on the table next to his. Between all the other members of the Seven there's something fragile-looking about her, with her dainty white costume and the hair in soft blonde waves. You know that's not true; she has to be tough to have been let into the Seven at all.

But...for some reason you find yourself feeling sorry for her.

"She looks so young." is what you end up saying.

“Yeah, I guess? I just wish she’d ditch that hairband; I had one just like it in middle school,” Jen says, shrugging. “Still love her, though! I’m gonna go get in line now!”

You nod, not really paying attention anymore and glance around, wondering if you should bother buying a hotdog or something – can you last another couple of hours before Jen gets you lunch?

“Okay, I’m getting a slushie. Do you want one?”

She smiles and shakes her head, hitching the strap of her bag further up her shoulder.

“Nah, it’ll have melted by the time I’m finished getting autographs. Go on and listen to The Cure or something.”

“Fuck you,” you reply with a smirk and Jen laughs and trots off towards the back of the line, her hair swishing. You’re glad she drove here because she’s going to struggle walking anywhere with all the shit she’s buying.

The line is so long it’s snaking around the room, but the Seven are used to events like this so hopefully she should only be an hour or so. You sigh and dodge a family that nearly steamroll right over you, a mother and father arguing loudly while their kids whine and shriek behind them, the youngest one squeezing an A-Train toy that is already missing an eye. You make a disgusted face as you dodge them – you don’t want their gross sticky hands getting on your clothes.

After buying yourself a slushie that’s so big it’s slightly too large for you to hold one-handed, you dodge endless streams of people until you get to a wall and lean against it. You can’t see any chairs anywhere, which is a shame because your feet are really starting to hurt.

“Fuckin’ hell,” you mutter to yourself, stabbing your straw through the slushie and taking a long, refreshing gulp. A soft sigh leaves you; “Ah.” At least it’s quieter over here. While you nurse your drink and distantly wish you’d brought a flask so you could put some alcohol in this (you feel like alcohol would make time go by quicker), you get this prickling feeling and glance up, wondering if Jen decided she was too tired to wait.

But no. It’s not her. Instead, Homelander is staring straight at you. At first you don’t register that he is, merely that he happened to glance up in your direction, but after a couple of seconds of his unwavering gaze, it occurs to you that he might actually be looking at you. You glance over your shoulder just in case and relax – there’s an enormous poster blown up to the size of a billboard on the wall a foot or so above your head. He must be staring at that.

Right?

A moment later some guy steps in front of him to get his comic book signed and you can’t see Homelander anymore. Realising you’re nearly finished with your drink, you jolt a bit in surprise – did you drink that really fast or did you just lose track of time for a bit?

Something else occurs to you as you slip away from your quiet spot by the wall and toss your drink.

You really, really want to smoke.

That sounds like a great idea, actually. It’ll get you out of this hellhole for a bit, give you a fix you need and there might be a wall or something to perch on and rest your aching feet. True, you’ll be out in the blazing hot sunshine in all black, but sacrifices must be made.

You send a quick text to Jen and disappear out of there – the venue is strictly no smoking but you’re pretty sure if you nip around the back, there won’t be a problem. You can guarantee some of the stall owners find somewhere to get a nicotine fix, running a stand in a crowded, noisy hellhole like this for nine hours straight.

What you don’t notice is eyes tracking you across the room, and you’ve already rounded the corner of the venue when Homelander stands up and claps his hands, announcing the Seven are taking a quick break and they’ll be right back to finish off the signing, folks!

Cheers and groans swell up in equal measure, but before anybody has any time to protest (though none of the Seven seem to mind this announcement), he’s already vanished through the emergency exit.

~

Blissfully, you stretch your legs out as you have another suck on your vape. Your instincts were right on the money – you didn’t find a handy wall, but there’s a staff-only door with a couple of stairs that you’ve sat down on. If anybody comes outside, it’ll probably be people working for SupeCon and god knows they probably need a cigarette break more than you do.

Anyway, it’s not like there are any signs back here that say “No Smoking”. An implication is not a concrete rule.

"Smoking's bad for your health, you know."

You jolt and look around, even though you already know who that voice belongs to. What the fuck?

They say famous people always look smaller up close, but in Homelander's case it's the exact opposite. He looks bigger if anything, perhaps it's the way his cape sways importantly behind him or the eagle epaulettes give his silhouette a severe, angular look, but while a few minutes ago you were alone, now it's like you're in a crowded room all over again. You lower your vape.

What the hell is he doing back here? Somehow you don’t think Homelander wanted to get away for a quick nicotine fix before he returns to his adoring public. You stand up, not wanting to be stuck crouching on the steps while he looms over you.

"They do say that, yeah." you deadpan, rubbing your lips together where there's still a lingering taste of your flavoured smoke.

He's looking at you strangely - though Homelander is smiling, there's something flat about it, like it's just something he does while on standby. There's no genuine feeling behind it at all - it doesn't match the look in his eyes, and somehow despite the warm sunshine bearing down on you, suddenly you feel a little chilly. Perhaps he doesn’t appreciate jokes.

"So." Homelander says, popping his lips. "Not to sound too forward, but I couldn't help but notice you earlier. You, ah, stick out a bit in there, even brooding over there by the wall."

His eyes pointedly run down your outfit, and you glance down reflexively too - you're not the only person wearing black in there, but most of the people who are are the ones dripping in Black Noir merch. You're the only person you've seen who isn't wearing any colour or even a hint of Supe gear. Plus you were standing directly in Homelander's line of vision, even if you figured the hundreds of people inbetween you and him would be more than sufficient to hide you. And he'd been so busy dramatically signing every Homelander-related item shoved under his nose that the notion he'd bother noticing a single person in such a big crowd was honestly baffling to you.

Is he coming onto me?

Yeah, right. Homelander, the most baseball games and apple pie person in existence, the All-American boy himself, hitting on a random goth chick?

"Oh?" you reply, wondering where he was going with this.

He tilts his head, looking down at you and you're reminded of a bird of prey staring down a mouse. It makes you straighten your back - you're free to do what you want, and if you don't want to drink the Vought Kool-Aid everybody else here seems to have, what difference does it make to him? It's almost like he's offended there isn't one person here desperate to bask in his presence. It's not as if you've ever disliked Homelander (though he isn't helping his case presently), it's just none of this is you.

"Not a fan of Supes?" he asks lightly, but there's a mocking note in his voice that surprises you. Normally he sounds as rehearsed as those action figures of his. "Does saving lives bore you? Hm? Is that why you came here, to show us all how different and unique you are? Tickets aren't cheap - seems a lot of money for a normal person to spend on not caring."

"My friend asked me to come." you reply, a little defensively, which is ridiculous. Why should you feel the need to explain yourself to Homelander? It's none of his fucking business. "Look, it’s not that I didn’t get in line because I don’t think saving lives matters or anything, I just-“

“You just don’t want to talk to…what was it? Oh, right, a ‘Vought Barbie-doll bearing their teeth at you’?” Homelander says, and shame prickles your skin to have your own words thrown back at you. He steps a little closer and you can smell him – some fancy cologne that probably costs more than your entire outfit put together, plus a sort of woodsy smell like pine trees. You can’t even detect a hint of sweat – apparently sweating is below such beings.

You make a sound, a sort of scoff of disbelief. This can’t really be happening, can it?

“Look, I’m not…I never said I don’t think what you actually do is important. But this?” you wave a hand in the general direction of the Con. “All the pomp and circumstance? Yeah, not my scene.”

“Too bright for your dark tastes, huh?” Homelander says, and is it you or is his voice pitched a little lower than before? It sounds rougher for sure, like stone scraping against stone.

You press your lips together, because can’t think of anything to say to that. It’s pretty obvious he’s not going to be mollified and you’re not apologising to him – if he can’t let go of a little comment made by a total stranger, that’s his burden to bear. You just want to go home. So, you stuff your vape back into your pocket and turn to leave, blowing tutti-frutti flavoured smoke out of the corner of your mouth. You’re tired and hungry and you just want to get out of here and go to lunch.

Unfortunately for you, Homelander seems to have other ideas.

His hand suddenly shoots out and grabs your wrist, tugging your arm out straight, making you stumble forwards – he damn near yanks you right off your feet. He does it so fast you don't have time to react at first, then your eyes narrow in bewilderment.

"Hey-!" you protest, and try to squirm free, but his fingers lock around your wrist. It's like trying to pull your arm out of a steel door and the most insulting thing of all is that Homelander isn't really trying - it's like somebody effortlessly pinching the neck of a kitten to make them go limp. He looks calmer now that he’s caught you off guard, shooting you an amused little smirk. You go still.

"Looks like you're a fan of ink," Homelander says, his eyes tracing up and down the tattoos on your body. Distantly you remember that he has X-ray vision and heat surges to your cheeks - is he-?

But his next words make you go still.

"Since you didn’t have anything for me to sign…I suppose I can make do.”

Easily holding you still just by one arm, he tugs out a Sharpie that was apparently nestling against his hip, held there by his belt, and whips it out, tugging the cap off with his teeth. You catch a glimpse of the side of the pen - it's permanent ink.

"What the fuck-?!"

He ignores your protests, no doubt your squirms are so ineffectual to him you might as well be trying to break down a door with a feather, and he begins writing on you. He's careful not to accidentally tear your fragile skin with the force of the pen, but a shiver goes shooting down your arm as the chilly tip of the pen glides across your forearm, breaking out in goosebumps. You feel like you’re watching this happen from far away, somehow, disengaged from the situation now that you know you can’t run away.

It doesn't take long, only a few seconds, but for you those moments stretch on, elastic as a rubber band being pulled tight before someone releases it. When he's finished, he lets go and you jerk your arm back like it's been burned.

Homelander's autograph is still wet with ink, but already you can see the darker spots being absorbed into your skin - it takes up the entirety of your forearm, written in huge, looping scrawl. You can only stare at it in disbelief - how long is this going to take to wash off? Probably weeks, even if you do scrub it every day with soap or a body scrub or whatever the fuck else you might have to use to get rid of it. You look back up at Homelander, who has already put the pen away. He's grinning at you broadly now, but his fangs are bared and you want to step back from him. You only don't because there's a wall right behind you and you have the perverse thought that looking like you want to run away might excite him.

"You know, I always thought tattoos looked a little…trashy." Homelander confides with a smirk, and his eyes travel up and down the length of your body in a way that would be indecent even without knowing he can see straight through your clothes if he so pleases. "Especially on pretty girls like you, even if you hide it under all that. But I guess it's all about finding ones that suit you best, isn't it? Maybe you can get that made into a real one."

Your jaw drops at the absolute fucking gall. If it were anyone else you probably would have thrown hands with him right now, because who the fuck does he think he is?

But you already know that. He's The Homelander. The best-case scenario is you'd break your hand on him. Worst case?

You don't want to think about what the worst-case scenario might be. You might like dark things, but this is different.

“Well?” Homelander nudges and you continue to stare at him, bewildered. “Aren’t you going to say thank you?”

The air seems to shiver with tension and you nervously lick your lips, uncaring that you’re still wearing lipstick. You’re stalling and he knows it.

“Homelander!”

Before you can even begin to formulate some kind of reply that fulfills the requirements without actually having to say the words, a woman in an absolutely hideous pantsuit comes running up to him and he rolls his eyes, turning to her.

“For fuck’s sake, Ashley, what is it now?” he says, and if he hadn’t just forcefully scribbled all over your skin and demanded you thank him for it ten seconds ago.

You recognise an opportunity when you see one and take that moment to beat it, trying not to run, but in the end you can’t help it, holding your arm to your body like you’ve broken it. You know Homelander is watching you – you can feel his eyes on your back, but you don’t turn around.

As you hurry back entrance hall, you spot Jen, who is now laden down with bags of stuff.

“There you are!” she says. “God, my legs are aching from standing around, but I’m all done! I’m thinking Applebee’s…are you okay? You look a bit clammy.”

“Yeah,” you say, dropping your arm and pressing it to your side. The signature is big, but it’s on the inside of your arm. If you take care to keep it hidden under a booth or against your side, hopefully Jen won’t see it. You don’t feel like explaining how you got it. “Just hungry.”

“Same here. Come on, I think I parked in Bay C…”

You follow Jen out, silently sending up a thanks to whoever might be listening that she’s happy to leave now, that she doesn’t think to ask you any further questions. She’s in her little Supe bubble and you’re not going to pop it. Especially not if you know Homelander can hear you.

At least it’s quieter over here. While you nurse your drink and distantly wish you’d brought a flask so you could put some alcohol in this (you feel like alcohol would make time go by quicker), you get this prickling feeling and glance up, wondering if Jen decided she was too tired to wait.

Especially if you know he might still be watching you.

~

“Fuckin’ assholes.”

He popped the top off a carton of milk he had awaiting him in his apartment, not even bothering with a glass as he chugged the stuff down, cool and sweet and delicious against his parched throat. As he drank, the one spot of entertainment of the day floated to the surface of his mind.

Namely, the face of that little goth girl when he’d grabbed her arm, the way she immediately stilled when he started writing his name on her skin. For all the weary sighing and under-her-breath snark, there would be nothing she could do about his name branded across her skin like that. It would fade in time, of course, but he got a distinct fission of satisfaction knowing she’d be thinking of him, whether she wanted to or not, every time she looked down at it.

Even if she covered it with black clothes, they’d both know it was there. Like a little secret.

That was Homelander’s assessment of the day. Oh, he’d smiled for pictures, he’d signed the mass-produced bullshit people pushed at him and he’d answered questions about a silly movie he barely remembered making. Such trivialities that Vought deemed worthy of his time. But anything for the fans, right?

Lazily, almost absently, he started undoing the front of his suit, one-handed, fishing out his already hardening cock. Setting the milk aside, he braced himself against the wall as he started to jerk it in some frantic pumps of his hand, overcome with the memory of her, the whiff of her Vape and the hitching of breath when he touched her. Homelander moaned throatily and threw his head back, imagining how it might feel to put his name on the girl permanently, to ink himself on someone who thought they were o very removed from the world he inhabited – no, not inhabited – ruled. She was just as much something to amuse him as everyone else.

As few more frantic jerks made him come, a hot, pleasing flush after a long, boring day of pageantry and ennui.

“Fuck,” he muttered to himself, with a smile, lashes casting shadows across his cheeks with his eyes closed in bliss.

Perhaps there was something to be said about tattoos after all.

~

The water hisses as you scrub and scrub and scrub, foamy white bubbles dribbling down your arm and splashing back into the sink.

Nothing. The Homelander signature is still there, gleaming starkly in the dim lighting of your bathroom. You’ve been working away at it for hours now, but whatever pen he used is apparently an excellent quality one. You're just thankful Jen was too hyper from meeting her idols to notice you were suddenly doing everything one-handed.

But an idea comes to you as you stare resentfully at your reflection, gingerly patting your arm (which is sore now from hours of scrubbing and soaking it) – if you can’t get it off you and you’ll have to live with it for a couple of weeks, the best thing to do seems obvious.

Namely, improve it.

So you hurry into your room and start fishing through your desk drawers until you find it – another Sharpie, one you have ironically brought to gigs with you before for bands to sign if you can get them alone for a minute. But it will serve another purpose tonight.

Tugging the cap off with your teeth, you lie your arm flat on your desk and hover the pen over Homelander’s name.

Very carefully you make your adjustment, grinning around the cap as you do.

A second later and it’s done. The word Homelander is still there – except that the ‘m’ is blocked out with a black star, so now it actually reads “Ho★elander.”

“How’s that one for trashy, asshole?” you mutter to yourself, a surge of petty glee rising up in you like sap oozing forth from a tree, savagely pleased with your handiwork.

As you flop onto your bed, a line pops into your head, and despite what a long, bizarre day it’s been, you laugh and say out loud;

“I went to SupeCon, and all I got was this lousy autograph.”

[yeahiwasintheshit]

First time watching ‘thief’ last night and, this was a really good movie. James caan is kind of a good actor, he plays intense really well and the rest kinda ok, and in the scenes where he’s intense he pulls it off, but this scene in the gif above, he’s… just… fine. It feels like this scene could have been more impactful, and it was still pretty good, but something just slightly didn’t connect. Idk maybe it was the pace of how we got there or somethin? Idk. Anyway Michael Mann directed this, and he’s best known for the original Miami Vice tv show and directing Heat from the 90s, and he has a pretty particular neo noir stylishness which def shows here too. There’s some absolutely beautiful rain soaked street scenes of Chicago at night, and his use of color and framing, and pulling off some really interesting shots. All of the technical stuff about the movie is really professional and very well done, but the story is what sells it for me. I was invested in this world of being a thief. Mann gets so much detail in about the world caan is living in, about how they crack safes and the language, and the sort of professionalism of that business. These are people who are good at their jobs and know the ins and out of every aspect of what they’re doing and you see it on screen. Maybe that’s part of the reason why the movie isn’t perfect. Maybe caan plays it a little too hot, too intense in too many scenes. Like maybe someone this good at cracking safes and intelligent enough to pull off these really high stakes jobs MIGHT not be the type of person to be so close to the edge all the time, like caan sometimes comes off. Idk. It was a choice and it does work in most parts, but maybe stops it from being perfect. To be fair, they do go into some gnarly detail why caan’s character is this wild and it’s a very compelling story, so maybe that’s enough to explain idk. Maybe it’ll hit better on a 2nd watch. Anyway it’s still really good, and def worth watching. Also Jim belushi is in it, for all his fan out there lol

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 12/19/2022

shambling along towards the new year

listening

cotton heads by caravan palace. i think this has been on every spotify wrapped playlist ive ever had. soft and comforting in a way that’s hard for me to describe. this has been part of the background music in some of the softest times of my life, winter-warm and safe and solitary noodling around on some project that involves a lot of fiddling with tiny pieces on a desk. spotify

-

reading

houston thrift stores are, predictably, awash with cowboy western novels. mostly it’s every louis l’amour or zane grey possible (no thanks)

jake logan’s SLOCUM AND THE YELLOWBACK TRAIL is number three hundred and seventy nine in the series, which is quite impressive. i am fascinated when a book attempts to transplant a cowboy into an urban environment so we’ll stick with it for a bit, despite a truly horrible sex scene describing a “rigid pole”. there were no onomatopoeia sex sounds which is both blessing and curse bc the intel SLOCUM gathered during this sex scene seemed like a completely different conversation totally unrelated to the sex he was having. she simply happened to come three times in three pages while telling him everything he needed for Next Location.

-

watching

saw several very beautiful movies in the last two weeks, one of which i liked very much.

Experiment in Terror (1962, dir. Edwards) has one of my favorite Mancini-composed pieces of music but i had never seen the movie it was from. a neo-noir man with an asthmatic rasp puts pressure on a bank teller and her teen sister to rob the bank by terrorizing them through various means. however, despite successfully playing on a lot of Womanly Fears (unexpected phone calls, driving at night, being alone) the fbi. this is perhaps a bit snide since it is extremely good at keeping the tension up through most of the runtime, the leads all did a good job imo— a letterboxed reviewer pointed out the villain played by Ross Martin has a certain chameleon-like quality from scene to scene and it is really arresting, he pops up in some unexpected places to great effect. a well-shot movie, just a hair longer than i wanted it to be, i don’t think any movie could survive the hype i built up in my head after loving than mancini piece so much, and was not quite the vibe i was looking for on the afternoon i finished it.

in a different noir with an important scene during a baseball game, Stray Dog (1949, dir. Kurosawa). everything you could possibly say about this movie has already been said. mifune is such a fucking joy to watch as a somewhat hapless young cop with a bad case of the scruples. gets his fully loaded pistol pickpocketed on the tram, sending him hither and yon during a brutally hot summer tracking down every bullet. widely available for free. fucking beautiful work of art. deeply annoying when widely acclaimed movies are actually really good

-

playing

nothing new to report, nothing i want to play has been a free epic game lately. very excited that a character ive been waiting for is dropping in genshin on…uhhhhh…tomorrow? she has sunglasses. she has a gunbrella. she can call in heavy cannon bombardment. she’s just so cute

-

making

one of the purposes of the tuesdaypost is to remind myself to expand the selection of things i do and my brain partially feels like sludge bc of the time of year and partially bc i haven’t fucking done anything more complicated than scrambled eggs or cleaning things in like two weeks

[ozonecologne]

So, I love animation history, and I've been watching a lot of forgotten animated films for the last couple of weeks...

Fire and Ice (1983): the rotoscope thing is very interesting. I love Darkwolf's design and how hot Teegra is in those early scenes, but not much else. It looks too much like He-Man and the plot drags. 2/10

A Troll in Central Park (1994): charming at the heart of things. Especially with Dom DeLuise as Stanley -- what a comforting voice from my childhood. "Anything that's real starts with a dream." I do very much wish I could live in an underground garden paradise like a little socially awkward troll. 4/10

The Princess and the Goblin (1991): a little bizarre and not very compelling, but I love the bits with grandmother Irene. The way that the attic is animated to transform into an Edenic homestead is so beautiful. 4/10

Quest for Camelot (1998): have you ever wondered what Sinbad would have looked like if they had like half the budget and story? Eric Idle is going to hell. I want to fuck the griffin. 3/10

The Ringing Bell (1978): it's considered a classic for a reason! The idea that you create what will destroy you, and love it for doing so... the idea that when you force yourself to grow up you can never go back... There will come a time when you don't fit into your old life anymore, and you did that to yourself. You destroyed what part of you was innocent and belonged here, but you've also turned your back on the world that changed you. So where do you go? What are you now? What good is a strength that requires you face the world alone? 9/10

The Sea Prince and the Fire Child (or, The Legend of Sirius) (1981): a Romeo and Juliet retelling that kind of dragged, to be honest. I love the way that the fire is animated and the underwater backgrounds; they're whimsical but there's a real primordial quality to them that I like, because the ocean is weird! The sea god design is excellent and there are some sea creatures that are truly delightful, like the bunny fish and whatever Mabuse is supposed to be. Sirius is offputtingly noodly though, and he's 80% of the movie. Didn't love this one. 5/10

Faeries (1981): I cannot believe how they pronounce "Niamh" in this. The folklore designs are really cute though. 2/10

Freddie as FR07 (or, Freddie the Frog) (1992): terrible. I should make a video essay about this film because it is batshit insane in like the worst way. Completely not worth your time but I'd love to tell you about it sometime. 0/10

Felidae (1994): what is it about violent cat series that get at me!!!! A gory noir film made about cats solving a series of cat murders? Some of the imagery really was wild here; I loved the nightmare with Mendel and the puppet corpses. Trauma and eugenics and vengeance at the heart of this one too, the villain was without a doubt a monster but you still felt for them anyway. Decently scary and well-paced, a great tribute to the source material. Also, uncomfortable cat sex scene. 7/10

The Last Unicorn (1982): all of my female friends apparently decided to watch this one at the same time, and we all got weirdly emotional about it. To escape a fetishized genocide your body is violated and turned into something that will no longer interest the conquerers. You do not want this change because this is not your body. Every day is a torment knowing that you slip further and further away from what you know you are. Every day you forget more and more of what you used to be. Eventually, you wouldn't want to go back even if you could remember. Even if you are not happy, you are safe. You are alone, all alone with the ghosts that haunt your footsteps. 9/10

The Plague Dogs (1982): GOD ok. These poor things. These poor dogs haunted by pain that they don't deserve -- "I'm a good dog." "I don't think they're doing it because they think you're a bad dog." -- and are just trying to live a good life once they escape their captors. One of them even remembers life before the torture, when he had a comfortable home and love. But now he thinks it's his own fault he's lost it. They wander the wild, hopeless, unloved except by each other, and what can they do? The world is so much bigger than them. Every decision that shapes their lives is out of their hands, and has nothing to do with them. They're cursed by the narrative. They didn't ask for this. They don't even know what they're doing out here, or where they're meant to go; they have no purpose and no reason to keep fighting for their own survival except that it's the only thing they know how to do. You start this life treading water and you end it treading water. The water swallows you all the same. 10/10

Rock a Doodle (1991): Elvis chicken???????? 5/10

Happily Ever After (1989): truly one of the most bizarre films I've ever seen. A sequel to Snow White that quite literally no one asked for and no one saw coming. I am forever haunted by "dwarfelles." I do love the prince's grubby little creature design though, he's so cute! 1/10 for him only.

Once Upon a Forest (1993): I remember so vividly watching this one when I was home sick from school one time. I don't why it stuck with me; it's not very good. 3/10 because cute animal designs

Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland (1989): gorgeous. adorable. such beautiful paintings and incredible character design! there were so many people connected to this project and it's such a labor of love. it has such a ghibli style and feel about it even though that's not technically the studio that produced it! 8/10

I also tracked down some of The Animals of Farthing Wood (1993-1995), but I'd love to watch the whole thing sometime. The Redwall series is also on my list, I loved those books as a kid.

Definitely taking recommendations! Have you seen any weird animated films you need to inflict on others?

[glittergroovy]

Post Directory: Lana Del Rey Unreleased / other

1949 / Afraid / All Smiles / Angels Forever / Architecture / Axl Rose Husband /

Baby Blue Love / Back To The Basics / Backfire / Bad Boy / BBM Baby / Be My Daddy / Beautiful Player / Because Of You / Behind Closed Doors / Ben / Bentley / Big Bad Wolf / Big Eyes / Big Spender / Blizzard / Boarding School / Bollywood Hawaii / Break My Fall / Breaking My Heart / Buddy’s Rendezvous / Butterflies / Butterflies (Part 2) /

C U L8R Alligator / Catch & Release / Caught You Boy / Children Of The Bad Revolution /Come When You Call Me America / Criminals Run The World / Crooked Cop /

Damn You / Dance For Money / Dangerous Girl / Daytona Meth / Delicious / Disco / Dragonslayer / Dreamgirl / Drive / Driving In Cars With Boys / Dum Dum / Dynamite /

Earthquakes / Elvis (Demo) / End Of The World / Every Man Gets His Wish /

Fake Diamond / Find My Own Way / Fine China / For You / Fordham Road / Freak Like Me / French Restaurant /

Gangsta Boy / Get Drunk / Ghetto Baby / Girl That Got Away / Go Go Dancer / Golden Grill / Goodbye Kiss / Greenwich /

Hangin’ Around / Hawaiian Tropic / Heavy Hitter / Hey Blue Baby / Hey You / Hit And Run / Hollywood / Hollywood’s Dead / Hot Hot Hot / Hundred Dollar Bill /

I Can Fly / I Don’t Wanna Go / I Must Be Stupid For Being So Happy / I Still Love Him / I Talk To Jesus / I Want It All / I Was In A Bad Way / If I Die Young / In The Sun / In Wendy / Is It Wrong? /

Jealous Girl / Jesus Is My Boyfriend / JFK / Jimmy Gnecco /

Kinda Outta Luck /

Lake Placid / Last Girl On Earth / Let My Hair Down / Life Is Beautiful / Lift Your Eyes / Live Or Die / Looking For America /

Maha Maha / Making Out / Match Made In Heaven / Meet Me In The Pale Moonlight / Melancholia / Methamphetamines / Midnite Dancer Girlfriend / Moi Je Joue / Money Hunny / More Mountains / Motel 6 / My Best Days / My Song 57 /

Never Let Me Go / Noir / On Our Way /

Ooh Baby /

Paradise / Paris / Party Girl (St. Tropez) / Pin-Up Galore / Pink Champagne / Playground / Playing Dangerous / Prom Song (Gone Wrong) / Puppy Love / Push Me Down / Put The Radio On / Put Your Lips Together /

Queen Of Disaster /

Resistance / Roses / Run Motorcycle /

Scarface / Serene Queen / Serial Killer / She’s Not Me / So Good (Summer Bummer Demo) / So Legit / Some Things Last A Long Time / Starry Eyed / Stoplight De-Lite / Strange Love / Summer Of Sam / Super Movie /

Teenage Wasteland / Television Heaven / The Happiest Girl In The Whole USA / The Man I Love / There’s Nothing To Be Sorry About / Tired Of Singing The Blues / Trash (Miss America) / Trash Magic / True Love On The Side / TV In Black And White /

Unidentified Flying Bill / Us Against The World /

Velvet Crowbar /

Wait / Watercolor Eyes / Wayamaya / Westbound / What’s A Girl To Do / Wild One /

Yes To Heaven / You & Me / You Can Be The Boss / You Must Love Me / You’re Gonna Love Me / You, Mister / Young And Beautiful / Your Band Is All The Rage / Your Girl

SEE HERE for directory of her released music

[wisefoxluminary]

INT - BLACK NOIR'S APARTMENT- DAY

Noir is lying on the floor of his ninja dojo apartment in the far reaches of Vought tower, fast asleep. Snoring loudly as his chest rises and falls with each exhausted breathe. His mask rests at his lap. The blood on his hands carrying its heavy weight as he drifts off to forget it all.

But the quiet goes away when Noir jolts awake. Hot Blooded by Foreigner suddenly begins to blares loudly through the walls. He twists his head to find Soldier Boy sorting through his drawers, slugging down a bottle of whisky.

Black Noir: "Shit!!!!"

Soldier Boy: "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!"

Black Noir: "How the fuck did you get in here?! I thought Homelander was keeping you on lock down...

Soldier Boy: "Well Homelander ain't doing shit...I make my own rules now okay...which means I keep an eye on all the freaks you wanna get in my son's blowhole...

Black Noir: "Wait...Hold on- Homelander's your son..."

Soldier Boy: "I know right...lucky me, we're all one big happy fucking family...which means I'm gonna play neighbourhood watch around here. Which means you're all gonna report to me"

Soldier Boy sorts through the drawer and takes out the poster to Cirus De Vought. He looks at it amused.

Soldier Boy: "So this is the freakshow you get your balls fondled to? When you could get swatted by the big leagues as easily as a fly...

He dumps the poster on the floor and pours whisky all over it. He is about to set it alight when Noir rises to his feet and interferes.

Black Noir: "Whoa...Whoa.. whoa...I know you're trying to get dirt on me and shit!"

Soldier Boy: "Noir's dead...and they've got some nobody hiding behind the mask....so yeah of course I wanna know who you are? Cause I can't look at you without being reminded of that backstabbing motherfucker...."

Soldier Boy points an incriminating finger at Noir. He keeps his distance.

Black Noir: "You know man...before the Russians radicalised your ass...I was your biggest fan. I used to watch all your movies. I was an actor and I wanted to be like you..I wanted action in my life...I wanted danger, mystery, love, all these things....I practiced your Ghost of Hanoi monologue in the mirror every day before I went for an audition. But playing Noir I don't know what the hell I'm doing...they left me with nothing and now I just gotta not talk and stay silent all the time. I have been forced to kill people...I hated it but now it's starting to feel good. These sensations I'm going through...I don't understand what they are...it's like I want more...you know what I'm saying...my dick just goes hard every time I-"

Soldier Boy waves his hand in Noir's face, not wanting to hear another word.

Soldier Boy: "Your point?!"

Black Noir: "My point is...you knew Noir, you were teammates...Payback was the raw deal back in the day. I don't know what I'm doing. I feel I'm trying too hard. You're the only one that knew him...so what was he like? What does he have that I don't?!!

Soldier Boy: "You really wanna fit in with the cool kids around here, you gotta lick the semen out like a rosemary tart...

Black Noir: "The fuck?!"

Soldier Boy: "I'm saying you gotta stop being like him. You are never gonna be him. The Noir I knew....he was a fuck up...an attention whore who only wanted to steal the money and fame I had. I put him in the fucking ground and you know where that got me....I got locked up and treated like a lab rat! I see what you are...you're weak...you're hungry for power...to all the rest of them, you're just bait for the fucking alligators who want a piece at ya...someone they can use to clean up their messes...you step one foot out of line and they're gonna kick your face into the fucking curb when they're done with you. It's kill or be killed. Survival against the fittest and this world is gonna be at the chopping block of it all..."

Soldier Boy puts his glass of whisky down and stalks towards Noir, who stands there tense, watching in fear as he approaches. His hands grip tight onto his shoulders, almost bleeding into the seams of his costume. Noir is pinned against the wall. Soldier Boy's gaze pierces through him like he is threatening to cut him down at any second. Unwavering and scaring the living daylights out of Noir. Maybe some part of him is turned on by all this.

Soldier Boy: "So I'm saying if you wanna get the respect and love you deserve...you gotta get your hands dirty...you jerk off to someone getting their spine torn out...that's your call...Don't show them how weak you are, you act like a man and you tell them to back the fuck off...you show them a little wraith and you make them kiss your ass...cause' you need to show them that you're something you're not. You will no longer be an actor. You are a killer and you will make them fear you...the blood on your hands...it just makes you stronger..and that...that is how you're gonna bring this world to its knees...I'll be there to help you show them your rage..cause eventually everyone will leave you and I'll be the only person you've got. Call it method acting if you will...we'll show the word what real man we are....

Black Noir: "Show me....what can I do to impress you?"

Soldier Boy: "How about you don't be a bitch and put the fucking mask back on?! we'll go on a little hunting trip..you and me... you kill how many people you want...hell, we'll give it to those who have got it coming. I'm fair game if you are?

Black Noir: "yeah..yeah...I am..."

Soldier Boy: "That's my boy...come on! Let's mark our eagle's nest...make your country proud"

Soldier Boy pats Noir roughly on the back as he makes his way towards the elevator. Black Noir rushes hastily after him, slipping on his mask as he runs head over heels for Soldier Boy. For the first time, he feels understood.

Blackout

*end of scene*

[astarionsknife]

Just saw the MLB movie so here are some of my first thoughts!!!

Warning for spoilers ⚠️

So first things first, it was beautiful. The style and animation looked gorgeous and I'm so happy for this upgrade. It was a joy to look at. The new models and sceneries are amazing and it really felt more like Paris. I so wish we could've had the series like this but I understand how expensive this would get so I don't blame them.

Secondly this is clearly an alternate version. It doesn't follow the canon from the series and has a whole different plot. Personally I loved this. The issues that the series has story wise got kinda fixed. Mostly the pacing and the relationship square. I also love how they handled Gabriel/Hawkmoth here. He felt like a decent villain but also a hurt and lost man. And yes he was very hot.

My main complaint with he movie would be it being a musical. The musical parts were very hit or miss. Some parts were beautifully done and really added to see the characters emotions. I saw the movie in my native tongue (Dutch) which made the music songs kind of cringe but I imagine that in English and French it definitely sounds better. Some songs felt too filler like and didn't seem to move the story along. Or were at moments that just didn't fit.

Idk how they'll handle the sequel now that Marinette and Adrien know they are ladybug and chat noir plus they ended up together at the end. We do seem to get a possible sequel based on the ending scene with Nathalie in which I assume she will be the next villain using the peacock miraculous.

To talk more about the characters. I very much lived for Alya. Her screentime was limited but she still managed to steal the show in every shot she got. I even felt like they did Chloe's character much better here. She is still a meangirl for sure, but with Marinette standing up to her much earlier it felt much more balanced. I hope in the next movie we'll get to see the others more cus now it was very limited. The focus really was on ladybug and chat noir. Barely even Adrien tbf.

Lastly I have to say that the score of the movie was very good. It takes a lot for me to notice a score without having to pay attention but they made it really fit in and still let it shine without seeming too bombastic or over the top.

All in all I think the movie was a good move from Zag and I hope they continue this. It seems they are heavily planning to go the superhero franchise route with having different universes based on our heroes. This movie was a solid 8 for me but ofc I've been a fan of the show since the first trailer ever released. So take it with a grain of salt.

Really hoping to see more like this from Zag in the future. Thomas really redeemed himself in this movie.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Joan Bennett (Man Hunt, Scarlet Street, The Woman in the Window)—Joan Bennett has everything you could ever want in a hot vintage dame of the big screen, She has gorgeous big green eyes that are so expressive both when they're filled with tears or with scorn or lust. Despite being a whole five foot barely anything she brings a presence that makes her feel larger than life. Never letting any scene partner take away from her and she was up against some heavy hitters like Spencer Tracey, James Mason, Michael Redgrave, and Edward G Robinson just to name a few.. She went from being an adorable blonde to a deadly and sexy brunette. She's THE femme fatale to end femme fatale and I will not take any criticism. Her voice is distinct, her look her own, and not even her shitty husband shooting her agent in the dick stopped her; finding success in theatre and hit TV show Dark Shadows. (Screw Hollywood for being sexist but shout out to Humphrey Bogart for insisting she stay in 'We're No Angels') She should've been nominated for an Oscar for Scarlet Street. She made Fritz Lang relevant again with her amazing performances. She made noir NOIR, her influence can be over stated. She's beautiful as hell, she was a genuinely kind person despite all nonsense she was put through and though she didn't think much of the films she was in she was doing it for the LOVE of film making. I just have lots of feelings about her. She's a blorbo.

Lucille Ball (Beauty for the Asking, Two Smart People, Go Chase Yourself)— important propaganda: lucille ball in ziegfeld follies bedecked in pink feathers and cracking a whip at a horde of catgirls [video below the cut]

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]

Joan Bennett:

She was THE leading woman in TWO famous “the woman in xyz location” films which is very funny. Fritz Lang loved her and he was correct (as always). Slayed on Dark Shadows and in Suspiria. Slayed as a blonde. Slayed as a brunette. So pretty. Excellent voice. Big sad eyes. Talent. Elegance. She’s every woman.

The epitome of a femme fatale, just look at her

Blonde, brunette, this woman can do it all

Lucille Ball:

THE girlboss of all time

Before she was a prolific producer or television actress Lucy was a Hollywood starlet. Check her out with her blonde hair before she always had an updo.

A powerhouse of comedy!!! Funny people are hotter, I don't make the rules

[alienelvisobsession]

Thirst Watch #1: “King Creole”

Semi-serious thoughts on the first Elvis movie I ever saw.

“If you’re looking for trouble… you came to the right place” It’s sort of a musical noir. I can’t think of another movie that combines these two genres, but it’s a great idea. More of this please! I’m a big fan of film noir, so I really liked the gritty themes and the shadows in the night scenes. Some of the shots on location were very charming and New Orleans is beautiful.

Danny’s character was written for James Dean, but it’s perfect for Elvis as well. They both straddle that bad boy/good boy line so well, but the resolution to that conflict is a tricky thing to accomplish.

The excuses for Elvis to sing at the beginning are a bit ridiculous, but the songs are great. Craaaaaaaaawfiiiiiiiiish…

Elvis pierces the screen with his charisma, but when he starts singing it’s pure magic. His acting is still a bit stiff here and there in the dialogues, but in the scene where he’s in the hospital and he has to cry I thought he was good!

I love that thing he does with his hands when he first starts singing “Trouble” and he’s a bit nervous. Also when he asks Nellie out and he stutters a little. 🥰

Carolyn Jones who played Morticia in “The Addams Family” is fantastic in her role of a pseudo femme fatale. I loved that old 60s TV show: as a child I used to watch old reruns of it all the time. She throws herself at the feet of flunk-boy Danny so soon, OMG, ahahahahah, so embarrassing, but understandable! He’s so damn cute! KING OF FLOPPY HAIR! 👑

I love all the silly faces Elvis makes in the movie, especially when he sings. So rare to see such a beautiful man doing that. They’re usually too busy trying to look hot, but not him! He was such a goof! 🤩

When Morticia drops Elvis at school, she wants to be kissed. I didn’t understand at first that she was a prostitute. His classmates make fun of him and it bothers him so much that he has to punch one of them. A bit exaggerated, but OK, they have to show that Danny can throw a punch or two.

Why on earth did they cut “Hard Headed Woman” from the movie? That song slaps. 🎸

SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER When Elvis brings the other girl directly to the hotel room…. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Are you dumb, EP? Couldn’t you see that she’s a like a church girl? Nellie is kind of a meh character anyway and I didn’t care for her or for the cop-out ending where Danny is like “well, I’m not sure what I want to be”…

SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER I think I would have preferred if Danny had ended up with Ronnie (Morticia) in the end. Also, now I’m imagining a parallel universe where Elvis Presley guest stars in “The Addams Family” and tries to woo Morticia while Gomez tries to chase him away! Look at that kiss! 🔥

You can totally see that Elvis is not really strumming the chords of his guitar, punching or stabbing anybody, lmao, it’s so obvious.🤦🏼‍♀️

Overall, pretty good movie, directed by Michael Curtiz who made “Casablanca”, but I bet the script has been touched upon by executives. I’d be curious to know how the novel ends. The music is great, I have listened to the soundtrack many times. ELVIS IS FREAKING HOT, BUT WE KNOW THAT ALREADY!

[averseunhinged]

i am once again sick af and unable to do any of the things i want to do this weekend. so, here's a consolidated record of watch all the things 2024, one of my new year's resolutions, because i'll forget them otherwise, and there's no way i'll sift back through an entire year of blsky chatter to find anything.

saltburn - the best movie ever. you kind of have to understand what you're getting into with it. like if you don't recognize the title sequence font at the beginning and the way it's shot, you might expect too much from it. it's salacious and sleazy and creepy and weird. those are features, not bugs.

true detective: night country e1-4 - love the vibe, love the characters. far north snow horror is a lot of fun and iceland is mind-bending beautiful. writing's a little uneven. sometimes it's clunky and contrived and the dialogue doesn't help the actors at all. sometimes there's a scene that's so well-written, i'll probably think about it for years. also, if you've been tracking christopher eccleston's attempts at an american accent, this is probably his best one yet. it still doesn't sound quite right, but it's better.

rap sh!t - s1e1. this is just not for me. it's structured around a lot of the things i hate about social media. i do think it has something valuable to say, tho, and it's a shame it's been cancelled.

dungeons & dragons - didn't finish this. the way it's written is interesting (probs more so for ppl who have a better understanding of/actual experience with ttrpg), but it's just not for me atm.

the devil's hour - my favorite thing i've watched in a long time. it's very well-written and the way it's structured is fascinating. it plays like horror for the first three episodes and then the back three are just straight unhinged sci-fi mindfuck. the acting's compelling, for the most part, or at least everyone's doing their level best with what they were given. nikesh patel is good, but he kind of suffers from having to be in the same room with jessica raine and peter capaldi, who are acting their faces off, a lot. phil dunster is appropriately hot. benjamin chivers is sympathetic while doing and saying some legit creepy, chilling things. barbara marten is moving as lucy's mother. i'm thrilled it's been picked up for two more series.

perry mason - s1e1. had some moments i was really into, but most of it was meh. full disclosure, this was heavily influenced by the sound sucking ass. there was a lot of mumbling in true noir style, but if your actors are going to make that choice, you really need to back off on the music and ambient noise. granted, my hearing is shit, and i use captions anyway, but if i can understand other things without looking at the screen, it's not 100% a me problem.

the outsider - s1e1. exactly what i want to watch rn. similar vibes to night country and the devil's hour. i'm not up to date on the stephen king universe at all, so i might be missing a lot, but you don't need to know the background to understand it.

[mercurygray]

So, I was naughty and asked Mr Juno for two random numbers between 1 and 50. And he gave me 22 and 41.

Tongue and Peach 🤣 its all his fault. For any character of your choice (although I dare you to do Dick or Lewis for this one)

Juno xx

I realized I hadn't written anything for Lew in a bit, so here we have a little postwar naughtiness for him and Eileen.

Los Angeles was beautiful at this time of year.

At least, that's what people kept telling him, the cab driver and the production assistant and the director, but Lewis was beginning to have some doubts that he'd ever get to see any of Los Angeles at all, at the rate movies got made. And there wasn't much to call beautiful on a studio backlot.

The woman he was here for was still in makeup. That's what people also kept telling him, as he arranged and re-arranged himself on a studio chair. Someone had brought him a cup of coffee, but coffee was the last thing on his mind - or the supposed beauty of the city of Los Angeles.

What he wanted was Eileen.

"Oh, Miss Hammond? She's still in makeup, sir."

Sadly, however, the rest of the world now wanted her, too - Eileen Hammond, the darling of the camera, contracted to Paramount for the next ten years and however many pictures they could put her into, ready to make all that good press sing for them. At this point it seemed like she'd played everything with everyone - a comedy? Done. High drama? With flying colors. A war picture? She'd done several. Noir? No one could do femme fatale like Eileen.

Today's offering was some sword and sandals epic, the men tanned and armored, the women in long, flowing Roman dress. He wasn't sure what Eileen would be wearing in this scene - she was, as people kept reminding him, still in makeup.

"Well, hello, handsome."

Here she was, finally - the woman of the hour, finally out of the artist's chair. And what a picture she was. Dark hair styled into an impossibly high wig, decked with fake jewels and purple and pale silk - designed to be noticed and dressed to be seen. "Hello yourself," Lewis said, rising from the chair to greet her only to be gently pushed back into it.

"I'd kiss you, but then I'd spoil the look," she said quietly with a smile. "But I'm so glad you could come." She turned back to the waiting crowd of technicians. "All right, Fred, your Empress is here. Where do you want me?"

The assistant gestured. "Just here, Miss Hammond."

Miss Hammond, Miss Hammond, Miss Hammond. Never 'Eileen' or 'hey, you.' She was a god here, and it showed. There was an air of effortless command - the certain knowledge that she was a star.

She took her mark on the fake stone pavement, a small fan slowly blowing the oyster silk of her dress forward, against the back of her legs, and throwing everything into sharp relief, the small of her back and perfect peach-rise of her ass.

God, her ass. Lewis quickly and strategically removed his hat and rearranged himself in his chair. Hot, here, was it?

He couldn't hear a word of what was said - he was too distracted. When the director called cut and everyone moved again, Lewis rose from the chair and met her behind the camera. "Miss Hammond, I need you to know you are putting me in a bit of a bind, wearing that thing."

Eileen looked down at her dress like she'd only just noticed it. "Oh, am I? How nice to hear, Mr. Nixon, when you've been putting me in a bit of a bind by phone three nights a week."

Well, she had him there. But phone sex was one thing and real sex was another, and he'd been dreaming about that ass for the entire plane ride here. "Maybe we can find some time later to work that out? You know, amidst your other appointments."

She smiled, a private expression just for him. "Why do you think I had them put your chair there? I'm going to require it." She leaned in, her voice a whisper mere inches from his ear. "There's a line I was doing yesterday with William about finding better uses for his tongue and I couldn't stop thinking of you."

Words momentarily escaped him, and the only thing he could manage for a moment was a small noise of delight, which seemed to please her. She looked up at another passing assistant, the Empress once more. "Dora, can you be a dear? I expect Mr. Nixon needs some ice water. He's looking a little hot."

"Of course, Miss Hammond, right away!"

He could only glare as she carefully flounced away, back to the cameras and the director and the whole mad whirl, waiting with her back still strategically to him, his hat still strategic over his pants, while the chirpy little co-ed came back with the water. "Have you gotten to see much of Los Angeles yet, Mr Nixon? It's beautiful this time of year."

Lewis resumed his review of Eileen's ass and tried to play it cool. "Yes, it rather is."

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this Week # 152 (Year 3/Week 48):

7 more with gorgeous Belgian actress Virginie Efira:

🍿 Continuing with the rest of Justine Triet's work, In bed with Victoria was a study for Triet's later 2 films. Like 'Sybil' and 'Anatomy of a fall' it is fascinated with the process of elaborate legal machinations, a strong women's sexuality, great kid performances, intellectual analysis and delightful sensuality.

Virginie Efira is a single mom and a powerful criminal lawyer here trying to balance her work and love life, but she is confused, and so is this movie. Still, they are both a delight to watch. 5/10.

🍿 A boilerplate, fast-paced romantic comedy of a hot "cougar" falling for a 19 year old boy, It Boy, predictable and formulaic, but she's such an eye candy, it's impossible to hate.

🍿 An Impossible Love, my second challenging film by Catherine Corsini (After 'Summertime'), 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. A difficult and elusive drama about a beautiful woman who passionately falls in love with a dashing young man. But as soon she becomes pregnant with his child, he leaves her, and refuses to take responsibility for their daughter. What starts as a romantic fairy-tale, turns in the course of 30+ years, into a nightmare of cruelty, abuse and heartache. The dynamics of a horribly narcissist father and his hold of the women who wants to trust him are very hard to watch. Beautifully sad and brilliantly dark. 9/10.

On the other hand, in every one of the 8-9 movies that I've seen with her so far, she always have some 'steamy' sex scenes (but they are usually perfunctory and all are similar in style). I am absolutely not complaining, but is it part of her contract?

🍿 Just the two of us, her most recent film from 2023 is similar in parts to 'An impossible love'. This one too is about a gaslighted, terrorized wife, whose cruel, possessive husband is a disgusting, hard to watch abuser. For some reason she plays here a double role of twin sisters, and her laugh (when she does) lights up the screen. But this was an ugly and unpleasant experience.

🍿 Night Shift, my second by Anne Fontaine (After 'Adore' with Naomi Watts), It's a police procedural, a somehow-updated, French version of Hal Ashby's 'The last detail'. 3 police officers must escort an illegal immigrant from Tajikistan back to his country, knowing he will probably be killed there. I did not expect it to be so captivating. 9/10.

🍿 Paris memories, my second by French director Alice Winocour (She co-wrote the Turkish award-winner 'Mustang'). Efira plays a lovely woman traumatized from having survived a mass-shooting in a Parisian bistro. Going through similar mental agonies as Jeff Bridges did in 'Fearless', this one felt like banal film-making with no real depth. Some moments of pathos when the POV shifted to a couple of the other characters. (Photo Above)

🍿 Because I'm a completist (and sometimes a masochist), I checked out one episode (S2 E1) of Call my agent, a fast-paced French serial of the Netflix kind (i.e., slick, shallow, "funny" with constant muzak in the background). It's about a Parisian entertainment talent agency, and each episode stars a real celebrity. 2/10.

🍿

Young Picasso, a simple British documentary about the early years of the 20th Century's greatest artist. From his birth in Malaga to 1907, when he created Les Demoiselles d’Avignon, "The first modern art masterpiece". Absolutely riveting. 9/10.

🍿

2 by Alexander Payne, both starring Paul Giamatti as an unsuccessful teacher with an unfinished manuscript in his drawer:

🍿 The holdovers, Alexander Payne's 8th feature, and my favorite of all of them (Even more than 'The Descendants'). Absolute pleasure from the very first chords, like listening to Simon and Garfunkel for the first time. 10/10.

🍿 "...If anybody orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I'm not drinking any fucking Merlot!..."

Rewatch: Sideways, the film that helped cause a real growth in pinot noir sales worldwide. I forgot how wonderful it was: It really got better with age... With "Gretchen Schwartz" as Miles' Ex-wife.

[It reminded me of one of the happiest summers of my life, in 1974, when I worked the grape-picking 'vendange' season in the south of France. I started in Perpignan, and together with other free-spirited hobos, hitchhiked north every two or three weeks to a different vinery, and ended up in Champagne. We were housed in worker's quarters, worked long hours in the field, were fed fantastic rustic French food, and received (beside the meager wages) two bottles of red wine each - every day.]

🍿

'The Holdovers' was a modern adaptation of a 1935 French drama, Merlusse, directed by Marcel Pagnol. It also tells of a reclusive teacher assigned to watch over some pupils over the Christmas holidays. And he also has a glass eye, and stinks of codfish, etc. The new version was much superior.

🍿

Re-watch: Umberto Eco, A Library of the World, a wonderful documentary about the private library of the Italian medievalist, philosopher, semiotician, novelist, cultural critic (and flutist).

Roaming through the many rooms hosting his vast MIlanese library of 1,200 rare books, and 50,000+ newer ones is any bibliophile's masturbatory wet dream.

It features the same Carl Orff cover that Hans Zimmer adapted to 'True Romance' under the name 'You're so cool'. 9/10.

Now I want to watch an adaptation of Foucault's Pendulum if there ever was one. Or at least re-watch his 'The name of the rose'. I also wish there was a movie about Eco's favorite writer, Athanasius Kircher.

🍿

So instead of reading all of Borges books again, I was looking for movies based on his stories. Bertolucci's The Spider’s Stratagem, made in the same year as 'The Conformist', is the first that came to mind. An operatic web of truths and lies, symbols of murder & betrayal. "Athos Magnani arrives at the sleepy town of Tara, where years ago, his father—also named Athos Magnani—was assassinated by Fascists while attending a performance of Verdi’s opera Rigoletto." Memory, identity, stagecraft, a trip to the kingdom of the dead.

🍿

From a recent list of '30 best mobster movies', The Traitor, an epic Italian saga about Tommaso Buscetta. He was the first Sicilian Cosa Nostra boss to turn informant, and whose collaborations were used at the big anti-Mafia trials of the 80's. Not as great as 'The Godfather', but a solid entertainment piece. 7/10.

🍿

I struggled with the new disjointed psychodrama May December, my 5th film by Todd Haynes. I found it pointless, confusing and lacking emotional focus. Not close to the pathos of his two earlier masterpieces, ‘Carol’ and ‘Far from heaven’. Natalie Portman was an unreliable narrator, and Julianne Moore‘s family was unconvincingly flat. It felt unnecessary. 3/10.

🍿

The platform is a cruel Spanish horror / science-fiction story, with an unusual hook: Prisoners are held in a 300-floor vertical tower, two to a cell. Once a day they receive food lowered on a platform to their level, and they have only two minutes to eat as much as they can, but the lower you're in the system, the less you're left with. This is not something I usually enjoy, and indeed I despised this unpleasant, disgusting parable of inequality.

🍿

First watch: I kept reading that the sequel Hot Shots! Part Deux was better than the original, but really not by much. A few funny jokes in otherwise lame and lazy spoof. 3/10.

🍿

4 more documentaries:

🍿 Innocence, a painful Israeli documentary by Guy Davidi about Israel's compulsory military industrial-cultural complex. How it indoctrinates, brainwashes and overwhelms (nearly) all its children to become cogs in the war and oppression machine. Told from the prospective of some soldiers who had committed suicide while serving in the army, it's a depressing, evil and unjust story. But it is told in an irritating 'poetic' voice-overs, and I hated everything about it. 3/10.

🍿 Memories from Palestine, a Danish documentary about a tiny museum in the refugee camp of Shatila, Lebanon. It’s a rather small, decrepit room, where the elderly caretaker Mohammeds had been collecting some old keepsakes from 3 generations ago.

🍿 Coded, a lousy documentary about gay illustrator J. C. Leyendecker. The famous commercial artist cloaked his sexuality while producing popular magazine covers for 50 years. 1/10.

🍿 Bob and Don: A Love Story, a light 20-minute documentary by Judd Apatow, about the friendship between the two comedians. Not much meat on it, but OK.

🍿

Summer in Tyrol, a 2010 Danish short about an old couple who argue with each other, even as the old lady dies in a hospital room.

🍿

(My complete movie list is here)