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#and not a repressed emotions mess
lovesickeros · 1 year
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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 2 ]
{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ]
This had to be a punishment of some sort – some kind of divine punishment.
She was bored out of her mind just watching the sleeping body – she hadn't blinked once in the past five hours, her eyes were really starting to hurt. Yet they still hadn't moved so much as an inch since she sequestered them away to the only place she had known to be safe.
But it'd been almost a week since then.
The only solace she found was that Teyvat had seemed much less hellbent on collapsing in on itself like a dying star.
That counted for something.
Not much, but something!
..Even if their position was no better then it was a week ago.
There was, after all, still the issue of what to do about the false Creator – the actual imposter – and the Archons following them like blind lambs. The other Archons wouldn't listen if she tried to reason with them, and it would only risk the life of Divine One if she spoke of their location to anyone else.
She also was pretty fond of having her head still attached to her shoulders.
So she avoided them all together. Partially because she wasn't sure she wouldn't have a breakdown at the sight of them..she'd never been a fighter, and fighting an Archon? Easy pass.
Instead she was forced to babysit the sleeping Divine until they woke up while Neuvillette handled taking care of the nation and dealing with the other Archons – and by extension the false Creator.
Really though, she would almost think them dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of their chest.
Though..this also left her with a lot of time to herself. A lot of time to think.
She really didn't like it.
There wasn't a lot to occupy her mind and what little there was only distracted her for a scant few moments before her eyes drifted back to the Divine like she was locked in their orbit, unable to escape.
She closed the same book for the twelfth time – she kept count – and returned it to it's meticulously designed place within her bookcase. A low, barely audible huff of frustration escaped her lips before she could bite it down, her stare boring a hole into the body of the Divine One with a sharp intensity she rarely showed.
She was tired, bored and constantly on edge, fearing that at any moment someone would find out about their presence here.
That, at the drop of a hat, she would be powerless to stop the greatest tragedy of her time play out before her eyes.
Neuvillette would have scolded her for being so petulant, especially around the Divine One, if he were here.
But he wasn't.
He was out running her nation, instead.
And what was she doing? Nothing!
She grit her teeth, nails digging harshly into the palm of her hands as she took a deep breath – now was not the time to think about that. She had..much more pressing matters. Sulking and letting her thoughts spiral helped no one, least of all herself.
Yet her attention was caught by a harsh inhale, the rustle of fabric – were they finally waking up? She was exhausted, but it all vanished at the sudden drop of life within the otherwise deathly still body of the Divine.
Her eyes followed the subtle twitch of their fingers, watching as their brow furrowed and their features twisted in something almost like..pain.
..She wasn't ready.
What was she supposed to say?
Should she even say anything? Would that be considered impolite? Does she wait for them to speak first? Should she kneel? Bow?
She doesn't get much time to find her own answer before their lashes flutter, chest heaving with every strangled breath. Every single thought vanishes from her mind the moment she meets their eyes.
For a long, silent moment she thinks that her heart must have stopped.
Their eyes glow like the cresting of the sun over the horizon, painting the world in hues of gold – yet it also reminded her of the dipping of the moon below the waves, casting the briefest, most gentle of lights upon the world engulfed in darkness. In the depths of their eyes was the birth and death of stars in the infinite cosmos – glittering stars in a sea of empty, blank space that left her feeling lightheaded and breathless.
Beneath the splendor is a spark of recognition in their eyes so vibrant it was like a shooting star piercing through the dark night sky, leaving nothing but the wonder in the eyes of the observer as the only proof it ever existed – brilliant in it's beauty, however brief.
It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.
"Focalors?"
The lilt of their voice nearly made her knees buckle beneath her – euphoria so consuming it left her feeling she was starving swallowed her whole, her mind blanking in a moment of utter bliss. It was..an indescribable feeling that she doubted she could ever hope to put into words – not in a way that could properly express it, try as she might.
She swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her lips – she couldn't make a fool of herself. Not in front of them of all people. She'd never forgive herself.
"Divine One," She rasps, clearing her throat and covering her mouth with a hand to mask both her nervousness and the small smile that creeps across her face. She quickly regains her composure, hand resting on her hip as she puffs out her chest with every bit of pride she can manage. "I am sure you must be confused, but worry not– your most loyal acolyte has seen the truth!"
The silence is deafening.
She opens one eye, peaking at the bewildered and almost distraught expression of the Divine.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
That..she was not prepared for. Surely they knew who they were! Surely they knew. They had to– she's been praying to them for as long as she's breathed, she's dedicated every hour of her life to living up to their ideals, they can't just–!
"Lady Furina?"
Neuvillette, thankfully, spares her the embarrassment of having a meltdown in front of the Divine, the gentle rap of his knuckles against the door making her and the Divine pause, the soft lull of his voice soothing her nerves and yet setting her on edge at the same time.
"Neuvillette." She clears her throat again, her steps hurried as she marches to the door and pries it open none too gently, a forced smile pulling at her lips. She wastes no time tugging the man into the room, shutting the door behind him with a short huff. The silence is, somehow, even worse then before as the three of them stare at each other in absolute exasperation.
Neuvillette, for his part, manages to get his act together with a sharp clearing of his throat, bowing so low even she looks unnerved. She steals a brief glance at the Divine, and she's taken aback by the uncomfortability twisting their features into a grimace.
Their expression is schooled back into one of empty apathy when he stands back to his full height, but she saw it – she knows she did! Did they not like their worship? Were they not respectful enough? For a moment, she feared the Divine would smite Neuvillette down on the spot..but they just stared at him like he was a ghost.
"Why aren't you killing me?"
The defeated, resigned tone combined with the way their voice cracks makes her heart ache in her chest – it feels as though her entire world is crumbling down at her feet, and she cannot explain why she feels such emotions so strongly, but it is suffocating. It is almost as if Teyvat itself is weeping, bearing down upon her shoulders like a heavy weight.
She feels the urge to weep herself, but she powers through, gritting her teeth long enough for Neuvillette to take his place at the side of her – though it feels more like their – bed, kneeling like he was going to pray.
"Divine One," He offers a hand with a quiet rumble of his voice, the words slipping off his tongue like honey. It's like trying to soothe a stray cat..though she'd never voice such comparisons of the most Divine out loud. "I..we mean you no harm. I swear on my authority as the Iudex of Fontaine and Chief Justice that you are safe with us."
The skepticism she expected, but the reverence in which Neuvillette must convince them – or perhaps they are simply so tired that they simply did not care any longer if it was all some ploy to drive a knife between their ribs. She didn't expect them to actually place their hand in Neuvillette's.
He didn't either, judging by the way he visibly brightened – not that they'd notice, but she did.
..Not that she could really blame him, her heels clicking against the floorboards as she shifted her weight to the other foot with a nervous energy that was practically bursting at the seams, more then a little jealous of the attention he was receiving. She was the one who found them, she was the one who stayed with them the entire time..but he gets all the attention?
How unfair.
"O-of course! We would never lay a hand on our creator," She adds, her voice a little higher pitched then she would have liked as she placed her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest and brushing off the sting of jealousy. "Least of all I– your most loyal, most devout acolyte!"
She felt baffled when she heard the sound of their laughter, her shoulders hunching and her cheeks flushing on mere instinct – she was expecting mockery, but the look in their eyes, still dulled by a pain she cannot even begin to imagine, made her hesitate.
..It was, perhaps, the most genuine thing she'd heard from them ever since before the hunt began.
She wasn't sure why her heart hurt at such an idea, but it was enthralling to see the beginnings of a half hearted smile on their lips.
For a moment, her mask of theatrics was forgotten as she stared at them in a mixture of awe and adoration– and though she didn't look at Neuvillette, she could imagine he must've shared such an expression.
Had she any doubts that they were her Creator, that they alone were the most Divine..they would wiped clean now. There was no mistaking the way the world itself seemed to grow clearer as they glanced up at her like she was worth something.
For a moment, she realized how cold the false Creators gaze had been now that she has felt warmth so gentle it almost made her knees buckle beneath her. It felt like a pale imitation, now.
Nothing could compare to the warmth that spread through her body at the mere semblance of a smile upon their lips. She didn't even mind if it was her they were laughing at anymore, she just wanted to hear them laugh again.
She'd make a fool of herself, if she had to.
She'd never felt so..ravenous for such a thing, but just the briefest glimpse was addictive.
She simply couldn't help herself from striding across the room and clasping their free hand in her own, her smile wide enough to unnerve as she leaned her weight onto the bed. For a moment, she considered pulling away at the way they startled, but her mind was made up by then – there was no going back.
"Again."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#neuvillette#focalors#furina#dont ask what happened here idk#this was. also supposed 2 be neuvi focused and then i.#dont talk 2 me abt focalors i wont ever shut up#got a 300k word essay on hand abt how i feel abt her character/how i interpret her personality and her story#focalors jsut like me fr fr (cries at the slightest inconvenience or the slightest mean comment)#shes so pathetic girlfail im gonna chew on her#what happens when reader gets stuck with two emotionally repressed french bastards?? hell#neuvi is the “emotionless” flavor of emotionally repressed in that hes HORRIBLE at showing emotions at all#ask him to smile and its incredibly unnerving and theres too many teeth but hes trying his best please call him pretty or he will cry :(#furina is the flavor of emotionally repressed where she makes it up by having Too Many emotions#using theatrics and masks to show everyone what they want to see but inside this girl is a MESS#constant anxiety and panic 24/7#will do random shit and look at you and if u dont compliment her she will think u hate her and cry#compliment her and she'll do even stupider shit to try and impress you more#i love my scrunkly little babies they r so stupid and mentally ill someone get these bitches some THERAPY#i want 2 put them under a microscope#watch this be ooc fr furina when more of her lore drops if shes not girlfail im leaving#anyway see u in a week im going on a trip ill get back 2 u in 6-7 business days
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cookie-nom-nom · 1 year
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“If I win you have to join the Chaperones, right?”
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Hey so I heard it was Taz Sapphic week. Have touch starved Amber realizing Some Things.
Kodiera: hah! You’re so small and easily crushed!
Amber: ……huh……crush….
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connanro · 2 months
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the greatest tragedy of my life is that i do not (and likely will not ever) have an anglo-cath girlfriend
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cybernightart · 1 year
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Gency stuff!
How I imagine a proposal would go
I think it would be really funny it's almost no one knew that Angela and Genji were a couple until they were engaged. People like Cassidy, Lena, rein, (once they joined OverWatch) kiriko and Hanzo would have known and would have known about Genji planning on proposing. But everyone else either never noticed because they weren't very obvious about it, like they didn't do much PDA, and their version of flirting when I'm front of people could easily be mistaken for making fun of each other. Or because they just never picked up on it at all.
Genji probably planned a whole dinner at a restaurant and a whole romantic thing but either in the middle of the dinner right before he was about to ask or right before they left for the dinner and emergency happens and theyre call out to a mission. And once they successfully neutralize the threat and their back on the ship surrounded by their teammates/friends, after Cassidy says something about feeling bad for them that their plans didn't end up happening/got ruined. Genji just goes "you know what screw it", took off his helmet, and proceeds to get down on one knee in front of Angela and give a mini speech proposal that he learned in German just to make it more special(Rein found out genji's plans because he asked if he could help Genji learn to say what he wanted to say I'm German). Angela says yes (even though it was hard to make out through the ugly sobbing) and full on kissed genji as he picks her up and does a cute little spin thing, with everyone on the ship either cheering and celebrating or being in total confusion and shock because they didn't even know the two were together to begin with. So half of them are just jaw dropped, happy but jaw dropped.
For an added little extra bit of drama, Pharah had no idea Genji and mercy were thing and had been a thing for ages now, Angela never told her. And it clicks why mercy did not reciprocate feelings, but still in just such shock that she wasn't told and this is how she found out. She just kind of frozen in place staring blankly at the two with her mouth hanging open.
And back to happy happy, after Genji said screw it Cassidy realized what he was about to do and pulled out his phone or got Lena to pull out hers and made sure to record everything for them.
Additionally this was one of the first times a majority of people in that room had seen genji's face, obviously Hanzo and kiriko had seen his face before same with Angela. But even Cassidy hadnt fully seen his face, as even when in black watch they worked really closely together, if Genji wasn't wearing his metal mask he was still wearing like a surgical mask or something. All the old OverWatch members had only really seen his eyes ,excluding Angela, so with shocking for them but not as much as all the newbies. this was the first time seeing his face at all, haven't even seen his eyes at this point,so it was extra shocking.
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kerorowhump · 9 months
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god the writing in KG is just impeccable and it does NOT get the credit it deserves because i can put any two characters from the main 5 together in a pair and they'll have some interesting contrasts and points in common that they don't have with the others
#txt#dororo and kururu#dororo and giroro#dororo and tamama#were the three i was rotating in my brain#dororo n kururu: the two most left behind. arguably the smartest so they get along. one's order/calm the other chaos. both very observant.#also selfless vs selfish#dororo n giroro: ive already said but. peace vs invasion. earth vs keron. anger vs sadness. expresses emotions vs represses them. both loyal#and faithful. both dedicated to their cause. also childhood friends#additionally. the way they feel about keroro is a foil. dororo looks up to him but a tiny part of him resents him. giroro is always -#shit talking him but actually deeply respects him#dororo and tamama: similarly. they are very much foils esp about keroro. ive mentioned this previously. present tamama is like past dororo#with being rich and looking up to keroro. they're both very emotional and they both crave keroro's undivided attention#but tamama stands up for himself and is very loud and secure whereas dororo is insecure and doubts himself#ok I'll try to do more pairings (/p) mm#keroro and kururu well theyre constantly paired bc of how much they have in common. scheming and selfish. secret keron stuff.#plus keroro literally runs to him to ask for help when natsumi beats him or like IN GENERAL.#also again. keroro is supposed to come up with plans but struggles. kururu is supposed to be chaos oriented but he's always fixing messes#tamama and kururu is another fun one because one's perception is ''the sweet one'' and the other is ''the sinister one''#tamama may look dumb at times but hes actually bright. kururu is deeply intelligent but often gets lost in silliness#they both have a dark side#this is fun but theres many combinations for 5 members so im not gonna be here all day writing abt what they all have in common and contrast#but it's so fun to think abt bc the show is actually well written they all have lil tidbits that make their relationships (/p) unique#i didnt even get into keroro much bc god knows i could not stop talking there#this subject is worth making a whole post abt ... maybe one day#musing
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basingstokemercury · 7 months
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Very cool of Bonanza episode A House Divided to let a thirty-year-old grown man have a full-on verge-of-tears acting irrationally breakdown because he's scared of hurting his baby brother and doesn't want the issues between them to escalate further
Does he clearly make the wrong choice? No question.
Is he trying to justify to himself what he knows on some level is wrong and saying some pretty stupid things in the process? Absolutely.
("Use your head, not your heart" to Ben when he's the one acting on emotion and trying to convince himself it's the logical decision? Brilliant writing.)
Is it jarring to see the calculated voice of reason fall apart like that? Yes. But that's probably the point.
I really want to see more exploration of what gets Adam to break that unflappable composure, so many great writing and acting opportunities there.
You know what? I feel a multiepisode analysispost coming on...
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isfjmel-phleg · 1 year
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Sometimes self-care is letting yourself cry and acknowledging that it's a valid emotional response
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scattered-winter · 2 years
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ok winter...it's my turn now: jaykyle. i am intrigued, and i'd like to know as much as is feasible to tell me. (it's killing me to send something this open-ended but i feel like i don't actually know enough about them to be more specific.)
TEEHEE <3333 SOOOO GLAD YOU ASKED BECAUSE I CARE THEM <33
jaykyle is a ship between two of my favorite dc characters, jason todd and kyle rayner. they're both sooo fascinating on their own AND as a pairing and I just <3333 this is gonna get long because 1) they both have very long and complicated stories that's gonna take a bit to unpack and 2) I love them <33 and I love to talk about them <333 a bit of forewarning, but comics storylines are RIDICULOUSLY complicated and pretty much every single character has more origins, timelines, and personalities than you can shake a stick at. in the comics fandom we take marie kondo's words to heart because if we tried to stick to What Canon Says, we would be running in circles all day because everything contradicts itself. everything is canon and nothing is canon and if it doesn't spark joy, it isn't true <3 I'll explain everything to the best of my ability but it's gonna get Real Complicated Real Fast
tw for death (child and otherwise)
jason todd (playlist) is part of the batfam (group of vigilantes associated with batman) and he's also part of the wayne family (by adoption). I looked everywhere for the panels to show how he was introduced because it's objectively the funniest way to introduce any character but alas, they have eluded me so I'll just tell you: he grew up in the poorer parts of gotham city with his parents, catherine and willis todd. willis got caught up in two-face's gang (because gotham city as a whole has a trend of eating its people alive/forcing them to do crime because they're desperate and have no choice etc etc) and ended up getting killed because of it, and catherine died of an illness, leaving jason to fend for himself on the streets.* he is brought into the story by jacking the tires off the BATMOBILE, and getting caught by batman himself. in response to this he hits batman with a tire iron, calls him a big boob, and runs away (and in the process making bruce laugh out loud in the same place his parents died which makes me SOO OUGHOUGHOUGHOUGH)
*catherine and willis both loved jason very much, but recent comics have portrayed willis as abusive/catherine as neglectful, which doesn't spark joy for me personally so I tend to ignore those ones and stick to the others where they were genuinely loving parents who fell on hard times.
the original robin, dick grayson, recently moved on from the mantle and went to live somewhere else,* so bruce adopted jason and started training him as the new robin. he was a very bright, very loving boy who enthusiastically went to school and read books and loved bruce so so much and bruce loved him because that was his KID.**
*I can't remember if he went to live with the titans or went to gotham's sister city, bludhaven; but in any case he ends up in bludhaven eventually and operates there as nightwing
**In more recent comics, jason's robin days are portrayed as him being brash and violent (new drinking game: take a shot every time a comic describes robin jason as "angry" or "reckless" smfh) and of course while being a vigilante involves violence, and being a well-rounded character, jason did indeed have moments of anger, I strongly dislike this way of thinking because it takes so much away from his character and you'll see what I mean by that in a minute.
however, the happy days weren't gonna last. jason discovered that catherine todd wasn't his biological mother, and he had found some evidence pointing to who his birth mother was. (I think it was a birth certificate that was partially damaged so he couldn't see the whole name but it's been a while since I've read the comic where that happens so don't quote me on that) but regardless of how he found out, jason set out to find his real mother. he'd narrowed down the list of possible mothers to a few different women, so he found them each in turn and ruled them out as he went. he ran away from home to go on his little self-discovery mission, and the only reason bruce didn't go after him was because the joker had a big scheme with a nuclear missile that kinda took precedence. but by pure happenstance, they ran into each other and decided to work together for both their goals (stopping joker AND finding jason's mom). eventually jason and bruce narrowed the list down to one woman: sheila haywood. they travelled to ethiopia to find her, and jason actually did, but moments after meeting her, sheila betrayed him and handed him over to the joker, who proceeded to beat jason within an inch of his life with a crowbar while sheila watched.
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(batman: a death in the family)
he then tied up sheila and left them both to die in the warehouse because he rigged it with a bomb. jason, despite being betrayed by her literally minutes before, stopped to untie her to get her out instead of saving himself. but the bomb went off with them both inside, just in time for batman (who had been frantically rushing to the warehouse as soon as he heard that jason had been captured) to see the explosion <3
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(batman: a death in the family)
and the thing that REALLY fucks me up is that even after everything she did to him, jason still used himself as a human shield to try and protect sheila. these two panels have literally caused me lasting damage
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(batman: a death in the family)
this is also why the narrative of jason being reckless makes me so angry. he didn't die because he was a reckless idiot who rushed into danger without a thought, he died because he tried to save a woman who nearly got him killed. he died shielding her with his own body even though she betrayed him literally a few minutes earlier. some comic writers have rewritten the scene to take out sheila entirely, but that takes away a huge part of the story!!!! jason didn't die because he was reckless!! he died because he was trying to save someone!!!! I will literally fight people on that to my grave smh
bruce brought jason's body back to gotham and buried him, and was never really the same after that (but that's a topic for another ramble because this is about THE BOY <3)
this is where things get a little trippy <3 first thing you gotta know about comic books is that death is RARELY permanent. the exact details are lost on me since I tend to avoid the big crisis events (and the headache they give me) but basically superboy-prime punches the fabric of the universe and kinda .. breaks some things. and jason wakes up in his coffin (slightly zombified), six feet underground. after clawing his way out of his own fucking grave, jason gets hit by a fucking CAR and is then taken in by talia al ghul (one of bruce's past lovers, daughter of ra's al ghul [leader of the league of assassins]). talia put jason in something called a lazarus pit, which is basically a pool of green bubbly goo that can resurrect someone (ra's al ghul is hundreds of years old and keeps himself alive with the pits). jason came fully back to life and stayed with talia for a time, during which he travelled the world to be trained by some of the best/most notorious fighters and assassins all over the globe. at this point, he'd been dead for quite a while (a year AT LEAST) and so when he finds out that the joker is still fucking ALIVE, it's .... a shock, to say the least. it's a very complicated issue because batman's deepest-rooted rule is to Never Kill, and there were a lot of underlying circumstances preventing him from killing the joker right after jason's death (despite really, really wanting to) but the thing is. the joker just keeps killing and hurting people, and he gets put in arkham asylum, and escapes and kills more people, then gets put in arkham again, and it's just a vicious cycle where the joker just keeps hurting more and more people. and like. jason got murdered by the joker and the guy is still fucking alive and murdering more people. so he heads off to gotham with a huge plan to confront bruce and make him choose once and for all: kill the joker, or let jason die. this whole arc is my very favorite comic book of all time, batman: under the red hood <333 basically jason becomes a crime boss called red hood (which was the joker's old alias before he became...well, the joker) and plots CIRCLES around bruce, joker, and the other crime bosses. they're literally his pawns the entire time <3 but this all comes to a head when jason traps batman, the joker, and himself in a room where he finally reveals his identity to batman and gives him an ultimatum: kill the joker, or kill him. he had the whole place rigged with explosives so that no matter what bruce chose, they would still blow up (as a form of insurance? as a form of suicide? who knows!)
I'd like to point out the obvious and say that jason was NOT in a great state of mind during this whole thing. like. this post highlights it very well imo, but tl:dr jason didn't really...make a plan for after the showdown. it was clear that he had a single goal in mind, which was facing off with bruce and the joker once and for all, and it was also clear how it would end because he knew deep down that bruce would never kill the joker. so he knew he would die going into it but he didn't really care. he did in fact die at the end of under the red hood, since he was originally meant to be a one-off character, but he was so popular that dc sorta erased his death at the end of utrh and established him as a main batfam player.
jason's post-resurrection characterization is REALLY inconsistent, but really at his core, he's deeply traumatized and angry, and his driving motivation is to save gotham in what he deems is the "right" way: killing criminals so that they're no longer a problem. which, considering how many times supervillains break out of arkham and wreak havoc, isn't really that far of a stretch. but because of batman's firm moral stance on killing, the two have a very .... complicated relationship. but regardless jason has one of the coolest designs in the entire batfam in my opinion <3
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(batman: three jokers)
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(red hood and the outlaws) (I hate this comic for what it did to the other characters but the art was pretty at least)
sometimes he's drawn with a white streak in his hair (a side effect of the lazarus pit) which is one of my FAVORITE looks for him <33 and he's a regular contender for my icon because he's my blorbo bingus blob boy <3333
BUT ANYWAY <333 ON TO KYLE <333
disclaimer: I haven't been reading kyle's comics as long as I have jason's (jason was my gateway character who first got me into comics in the first place so I had a lot more time to really dig into his comics and characterization) and there's a lot of info about each character that's kind of...absorbed over time. because there's so many different stories and comics about each character, it's hard to find everything they appear in, and since I haven't been reading kyle for as long, I don't consider myself an expert on him in any way but I'll do my best to talk about him because he's my favorite green lantern <3
(playlist) in order to explain kyle, first I need to explain hal jordan. he's the Original green lantern (meaning when you think of the dc superhero green lantern, he's probably the one who comes to mind despite there being more lanterns than I can count. he's the most well-known by FAR) but basically, the green lanterns are an intergalactic military/police force led by the guardians (a bunch of really tiny blue guys). they use green power rings that are fueled by willpower, and so only someone with a lot of willpower (specifically, the will to "overcome great fear") can be a green lantern. (there's a ring for every color on the spectrum, but that's another ramble for another day). hal jordan had been losing faith in the lantern corps for a long time, but the last straw was when his hometown, coast city, was destroyed. hal basically went into a massive grief spiral and tried to bring back the entire city and didn't have enough power to do that, so he took on the name parallax and murdered pretty much the entire corps, and most of the guardians to absorb the main green power source to get enough power to Resurrect The City. but one guardian managed to escape to earth, where he found kyle rayner and gave him the last green power ring.
being practically the only green lantern left, kyle had to defeat parallax and restore the corps practically by himself. and the thing about kyle is that he's the GOOFIEST guy on the planet (affectionate). upon finding out that he's now a superhero he proceeds to immediately go tell his ex-girlfriend about it (alex <333) and they have a photoshoot of him in his suit. I fucking love them <333
but alas!!! happy days don't last <3 kyle leaves alex alone for literally only a few minutes to go be a hero, and while he's gone, one of green lantern's biggest enemies breaks into her apartment and murders her. kyle comes back to find her dead body stuffed inside the fridge (fun fact: that's actually where the term "fridging" came from <3) and he proceeds to. torture and almost kill the guy who did it. we love an unhinged icon <3
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(green lantern #55)
it's been a while since I've read his origin comic, but kyle eventually defeats parallax. further down the line, he becomes a white lantern (mega-powerful because it has the powers of all the colors in the spectrum, not just green) and in my personal favorite comic, also becomes ion (basically the living embodiment of green lantern power. also basically a god) and tbh it's his BEST look of all time
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(ion: guardian of the universe)
like I said, I don't really have as clear of an idea of kyle's timeline since there's a few gaps in my reading, but the essentials is that he literally can't keep a girlfriend because they keep dying, and he continuously gets the power of a literal god and is so humble and heroic about it that it never goes to his head. but he also consistently tortures and kills without really showing any remorse whatsoever <33 he has the range <33
BUT. AT LAST. WE GET TO JAYKYLE. THE THING YOU ASKED ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE. there's only ONE comic that I know of where they actually interact on-panel, and that's countdown presents: the search for ray palmer. it's tied in with countdown to final crisis, which is one of the biggest dc events of all time, and I haven't read it and probably never will because the big crises always give me SUCH a headache to try and understand </3 but I HAVE read search for ray palmer because <3 of them <3
essentially it's a story where the atom (ray palmer) gets lost in the multiverse and so 3 people who are already kind of...Outside the Mainstream Timeline embark on a multiverse journey to find him. those 3 people? jason todd, kyle rayner, and donna troy. jason is only alive because the timeline shattered, kyle was literally a time-and-reality-altering god not just once, but multiple times, and donna troy has also died and come back and like. is the only comics character with Self Awareness (remember when I said every comic book character has a gazillion different origins and reboots? donna remembers ALL of them <3) and so all three of them are affectionately referred to as "cosmic mistakes" because. they're literally irregularities in the cosmic timestream. and I love them for it <3
the reason I'm a jaykyle truther is because. they're so fucking funny in that comic. they argue in pretty much every single panel they share, but their internal monologues are....very, very homoeretic.
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(kyle, about jason) (countdown: search for ray palmer: wildstorm)
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(jason, about kyle) (countdown to final crisis #33)
and honestly, it's about how fucked up they would be together. they would tear each other apart and also tear apart everyone else and it would be a horrible time for everyone involved <3 there are ships for cute cuddles and then there are ships for fucking killing each other and jaykyle is the second one <3333
#i kind of. ran out of steam by the time it came to talk about jaykyle which is. funny. given that it's what you Asked about#but listen. they're so so messed up. it compels me <3#i wrote a lot of fic for them and tbh i didnt really lean into the fucked up-ness of their relationship as i could have <3#but like. they do care about each other in their own ways but they're both so headstrong and almost...Too different that it wouldn't last#like. jason is Very repressed. my mans is batman's kid he's learned from the best when it comes to Not Feeling Emotions#and kyle has literally mastered the entire emotional spectrum to the extent that he could wield the white ring.#you have one guy who's ruled by his emotions because he can't express/truly feel them on one end#and you have a guy who's ruled by his emotions because he wears his heart on his sleeve and follows his heart with everything he does#and factor in how they're both so stubborn? and how they're both so damaged and traumatized in their own ways??#they're a disaster <3#anyway. i lomve them <3#tysm for asking this literally took me hours to write but it was the BEST few hours of my life#typing with the biggest goofiest look on my face <3#jaykyle#leo 🌻#jason todd#kyle rayner#fun fact! for a while i was one of the top jaykyle blogs <33#probably not anymore since my 911 blogging has kinda taken over my dc blogging for the moment#but still. for a while there i was winning <3#there are also quite a few mutuals of mine who definitely could have explained this better but alas.#very very glad you came to me with this it made my day <3333333
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In a move that may surprise some of you, I've actually voted for Carla in round 2 of my poor little meow meow poll. Reason being that while Yui is by far the character who deserves the most sympathy in the series, I would argue that anyone dubbed a poor little meow meow should be at least a bit pathetic and I would not have said Yui is.
Carla, on the other hand, is both royalty and hideously powerful and yet in all routes but his own and a couple of bad endings nothing has gone well for him in his entire life.
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vampireloverz · 1 year
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hamlet really did love ophelia btw if u think he wasn’t full of love, to the point where it made him insane, you’re absolutely wrong
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whimsicmimic · 6 months
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once again absolutely fucking inconsolable in the club over my most beloved of beloveds, my friday night dnd character ms tamara bhatt. shes lizard.
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trashbatistrash · 1 year
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,
#hanahaki brainstorm while half asleep🤘#working on two ideas at the same time because that’s just how my adhd ass functions#platonic familial hanahaki you know I’m thinking either Bruce or Jason#(when have I thought about anyone else honestly)#getting over unrequited love hanahaki. I’m thinking one sided superbat that’ll probs bleed into hopeful future polycule potential#because I’m a sucker for both polycules and sweet endings#unrequited love being a type of mourning is literally the only way I can relate to romance unfortunately OTL#I’m a morbid motherfucker 😭#getting over unrequited love hanahaki for Jason tho#idk who he’ll have a crush on but he’s perfect for the repressing emotions thing too#unfortunately a big fan of body horror#and Jason whump so that might be a thing too#platonic familial hanahaki where it’s both Bruce and Jason struck by it#post red hood era grief and mourning#your son’s alive and love blooms painfully within your lungs but everything’s a mess and you can do nothing about it#your family doesn’t want you the way you are now parading in the skin of someone they once loved#you don’t need them don’t need (your dad) /him/ most of all#you ignore the taste of flowers and blood blooming at the back of your tongue#suffocate on the perfume of it alongside the part of you that still hopelessly pitifully loves them#unrequited love Jason with the story ending without him confessing to the person that he loves#it ends with him thinking about them and the time they spent together and that he doesn’t regret falling in love with them#it ends with him admitting his feelings to himself and getting over them#they don’t have to be entangled that way to be in each others lives and he’s more than content with that#ooof okay I think I channeled a specific type of fanon royjay for the last few tags so maybe that’s how I’ll proceed 🤔#I keep projecting qpr on royjay or just Jason in general OTL this time accidentally I must add 😭#I’ll try to brainstorm the superbat turned cloisbat one later as a challenge to myself to just remember what romance is#*slapping myself with a slipper*#ramble#fic ideas#eepy so I go sleepy for now
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the only way to be truly normal is to not be deeply repressed. the rest is golden.
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castielmacleod · 2 years
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Moments where Cas shows emotion even subtly are always deeply and severely heartbreaking in their rarity but I also sometimes imagine if Cas should have struggled with emotional regulation more. “For the first time I feel” I mean let’s see it then. Let’s have it where everything’s the same except Cas doesn’t repress the hell out of his emotions and in fact feels things VERY strongly. He tears up every time Dean yells at him or mocks him or judges him. He tries to yell back at Dean and then chokes off because he can’t push back against the man he’s in love with without feeling just completely overcome with sorrow and frustration and heartbreak and his own perceived failure and worthlessness. He has more than one on screen panic attack, both before and after the one he has in season 11. He has break downs from stress and guilt starting as far back as season 6 and onward, in front of Sam and Dean, in front of Crowley, in front of Mary, literally whoever. And then idk maybe if this was all more externalised, if the show let this character react physically and strongly to the things he goes through, then more of the audience would more easily recognise just how fucked up and miserable his situation actually is.
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petrichorvoices · 2 years
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why are we so scared to like. ask for attention, or to vent, like, i’ve had to hype myself up for quite some time to even make a post saying that we’re struggling and i know we’ll probably end up deleting it but like. why do we not let ourselfves ask for attention when we need it? why are we so scared to ask for help in general, or to even accept it when offered?
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