#and now I’m the egg from the ‘your brain on drugs’ ad

[strewbi]

[lady-wallace]

Life Lessons and Knife Wounds (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure)

Another @febuwhump fic for today! Thanks again to @xxcntrs for helping me choose prompts! Hope you enjoy :)

This one is for the prompts: Day 20: “Knife Wound” | Day 11: “Fever” | and Alt prompt 6. “Limp”

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Giorno neglects a wound and fails to see how bad it's gotten until he's on a mission with Abbacchio and everything comes to a head.

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Read on Ao3

Read on FF.net

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Giorno bit back a wince as he pulled his pants on, careful over the bandage wrapped around his thigh.

He'd gotten on the wrong end of an enemy's knife a few days before while their team was on a drug ring bust and it still hurt more than it probably should.

But Giorno didn't have time to worry about it right now—there were too many other things he had to think about. The only reason it still hurt so much anyway was because of the way his trousers rubbed against the bandage whenever he walked.

He chose to ignore the fact that it still burned even when he wasn't walking.

Giorno sighed, finished dressing, and headed down to the kitchen where everyone was already having breakfast. Fighting the limp took quite a bit of effort, especially since his whole body seemed to decide it wanted to ache that morning but he was fine. He would endure.

"Morning! Narancia called to him as he caught sight of Giorno, then frowned. "Did you even sleep?"

Giorno frowned back. "I slept fine." Like a rock, actually. He had been so tired the night before he'd almost slept through his alarm.

Bucciarati looked up from where he was making eggs at the stove, a vague look of concern in his eyes as he too caught sight of Giorno. "You do have some dark circles under your eyes. It might be wise to get a little more rest."

Giorno refrained from sighing as he sank down at the table, barely hiding the wince that crinkled his brow as a fold of his trousers dug into his injury, the pain sharp and burning.

He gratefully accepted the cup of coffee Fugo passed him. Despite his deep sleep the night before, he felt more exhausted than usual.

"What's on the agenda today?" Abbacchio asked, taking a drink of his own coffee.

Bucciarati plated eggs and came over to the table. "The business with Carlotti needs to be taken care of. If he won't pay up, he needs to be made aware of the consequences."

Giorno had nearly forgotten about the club owner who had failed to pay protection for the past two months, begging expense issues and that he 'would have the full amount next time—with interest!' Giorno and Bucciarati suspected he had probably gambled the money away and still wouldn't have any to pay when the next collection period came around.

"I'll go," Giorno said even before his brain could catch up to what he was saying.

"Are you sure?" Bucciarati asked. "Collections aren't really something you are required to do in your position."

"Besides, we could use you to sign papers today," Fugo added.

"It won't take all day," Giorno said, and, honestly, the thought of sitting in the office all day made the nagging headache that had been hiding behind his eyes since he woke up even worse. He was afraid that if he were to spend the whole day sitting at his desk he'd simply pass out from this annoying exhaustion again. "Besides," he added, turning to Bruno. "Carlotti needs a reminder that he won't get away with failing to pay me another month. If I show up there myself he might get the picture."

"Are you sure you're recovered from that last fight?" Bucciarati asked, and the sudden scrutiny directed at him nearly made Giorno squirm in his seat.

"I'm fine—only a little sore," Giorno said—not exactly lying. "If it comes to a fight, my Stand does all the heavy lifting anyway."

Bucciarati pressed his lips into a thin line but nodded. "Alright then. Abbacchio, I want you to go with him."

Giorno and the goth both glanced at each other over the table. Abbacchio rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Fine. I could have just done it myself, though."

"No, Giorno's right," Bucciarati said. "It doesn't hurt to be more involved in business on the ground. And it's better there's two of you if there's trouble."

Abbacchio grunted, but Giorno actually didn't really mind being paired with the taciturn older gangster that day. At least Abbacchio tended to ignore him if at all possible, and Giorno didn't want anyone noticing too much about him that day.

Maybe he was stubborn, but it wasn't like he hadn't hidden injuries before—most of his life, actually. He knew what they felt like rubbing painfully against his clothes, poorly tended to. He would survive this too.

Never mind that his headache started to get worse the minute they began to drive to their destination and on top of that he was also feeling light-headed. The morning sun didn't help, making him a little too warm. He could already feel a sheen of sweat sticking his suit to his skin and stray strands of hair to his face.

He cleared his throat before he spoke up quietly. "Could you turn the air conditioning on?"

Abbacchio glanced over at him, lip curled in what was sure to be a snide remark before he frowned instead. The look passed in another instant, however and he huffed, reaching for the dial. "You can do it yourself, you know," he grumbled.

Giorno closed his eyes briefly as the cool air hit his face. It felt, honestly, a little too cold, but he wasn't about to complain and risk annoying Abbacchio even more.

It was a bit of a drive to their destination and with the morning rush hour traffic, even worse.

By the time they got there, Giorno's head was splitting, making him woozy as he climbed out of the car. He had to grab the roof to stave off a sudden wave of vertigo. It was so distracting that he forgot to watch his limp as he went to head toward the club with Abbacchio.

"Are you limping?"

Giorno froze, schooled his expression and glanced up at the older man. "No."

Abbacchio narrowed his eyes and jabbed a finger at Giorno. "You better not have lied to Bucciarati earlier. I don't need an injured kid, Boss or not, getting himself in trouble during a fight."

"It might not even come to a fight," Giorno responded, not answering Abbacchio's question.

Abbacchio clicked his tongue in annoyance and headed toward the club entrance, Giorno behind him, trying to hurry and keep up with Abbacchio's long stride without limping again. It hurt.

However, after several tries of Abbacchio pounding on the door and Giorno even opening the club up using Gold Experience to manipulate the locks, they found that the place was completely empty.

"Bastard must have known it was collection day and split," Abbacchio growled. "Either that or he's just not here yet."

"Should we wait for him?" Giorno asked half-heartedly. Earlier, the idea of getting away from the house instead of sitting around the office sounded good, but now it wasn't nearly as appealing. In fact, he kind of just wished he could lay down and close his eyes to see if that would help his aching skull.

Abbacchio looked around, seeming annoyed. "That would be pointless. He probably has eyes on the place and wouldn't show up if he knew we were here. I'm going to call Bucciarati and see if he knows of anywhere Carlotti might be."

"Alright," Giorno said tiredly as they headed back outside. The sun pierced his eyes and he felt dizzy again. It was too hot—all of him was too hot. Especially his leg which felt like it was on fire even after only being on it for a few minutes.

He tried to put as little pressure on it as possible as he attempted to concentrate on Abbacchio's one-sided conversation with Bucciarati, but everything just seemed to be getting fuzzier. Exhaustion pulled at his body, threatening to drag him down.

"Hey, I asked if you were ready to go?"

Giorno jerked, looking upward dizzily to see Abbacchio swimming before him. He blinked, trying to clear his vision.

"Bucciarati gave me his apartment address. Kid? Hey, Giorno!"

Everything tilted and Giorno suddenly flailed, realizing he was going to fall. Agony tore through his leg as the heat and pain crashed over him, blinding him until he was forced to fall into the darkness.

***

The next thing Giorno was aware of was nauseating movement, and the sound of swearing and keys rattling. He tried to make sense of any of it, but blinking his eyes open for even a second brought sharp pain with a stab of light and he swiftly shut them again.

The key jangling and swearing stopped, but the movement started up again, something hard digging into Giorno's hip and lower stomach and…

He was upside down—that's why he was so dizzy. He blinked his eyes open briefly again, and saw the swish of a black coat-tail and the heels of someone who was carrying him over their shoulder.

What the hell had happened?

Another dizzying movement had him falling backwards onto something soft. A bed? What was going on? He didn't even know where he was. Everything was blurry when he blinked, trying to make sense of any of this—of who the blurry figure looming over him was. Why was he so delirious right now? Had he been drugged, kidnapped?

New panic settled in when he felt someone's hands searching him until they found the tender spot on his thigh.

Giorno couldn't stop the strangled sound of pain that escaped him, trying to roll away.

More muffled cursing and then the hands moved to his waistband and started to tug his pants off.

Giorno finally had the wherewithal to pull himself into full consciousness, weakly pushing at the invasive hands.

"Don't," he growled in warning, reaching for Gold Experience.

"Don't flatter yourself. Need to see your leg," a familiar voice grunted and Giorno finally managed to focus on his purported captor. It was just Abbacchio.

Not that that was much better, because he was about to uncover the injury Giorno had been trying to hide all day.

He continued to struggle, until the movement crushed Abbacchio's hand against his wound and the pain that ripped down his leg because of it stole his breath away.

He lay limply against the bed as Abbacchio swore again.

"Dammit, kid, just stay still and let me look at this."

Giorno couldn't do much else at this point, resigned and mortified as Abbacchio peeled his trousers the rest of the way off and turned to the bandage that was sloppily wrapped around Giorno's thigh, halfway between his knee and the leg of his boxers. The rusty stain of blood was seeping through it and Abbaccio unceremoniously started unwrapping the bandage, the gauze sticking a bit which made the process even more uncomfortable.

"Shit," he swore again as he finally uncovered the wound, the air stinging it now that it was exposed. "Had a feeling it was infected."

Giorno blinked and finally looked down at the wound.

It…didn't look good. The area around it was inflamed and red, and on top of that, there was discolored discharge. He swallowed hard.

"Why the hell didn't you say anything?" Abbacchio demanded. "You've even got a damn fever!"

Fever? That would explain the delirium. Giorno didn't know what to say, just lay there in what he now figured must be some hotel bed. He felt awful, and honestly didn't have the energy to defend himself right now.

Abbacchio sighed, straightening up and pushing his hair back. "Listen, just stay here, don't try to move around. I'm gonna go get some stuff and when I get back I'm gonna clean that out properly. You better still be in that bed when I walk in the door."

Giorno nodded silently and watched as Abbacchio left the hotel room.

How embarrassing. He honestly hadn't thought the injury was that bad. Hadn't even bothered to fix it with Gold. But maybe he had neglected it a little too much. It wasn't like he could do anything about it now.

He folded an arm over his eyes tiredly. Of course it had been Abbacchio of all people to have found him out. Well, honestly, that was better than Bucciarati. Though he wasn't stupid enough to think that the capo wouldn't be getting the full failed mission report from Abbacchio.

He drifted, still pretty out of it, until Abbacchio came back, drugstore shopping bags rustling in his hand.

He seemed mildly pleased at least that Giorno hadn't moved and headed toward the adjoining bathroom. "I'm gonna clean the tub out and I'll be right back."

Giorno resigned himself to what he knew was coming, swallowing hard as Abbacchio returned.

"Can you stand?" he asked.

Giorno stiffly swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood, gritting his teeth against the pain that shot up his leg. Abbacchio quickly stepped in and gave him an arm, helping him to the bathroom.

"Why don't you sit in the tub?" Abbacchio pointed to the small bathtub on one side of the bathroom. Giorno briefly slipped his suitcoat off, not wanting it to get wet and Abbacchio helped lower him into the tub, bad leg extended as far as it could go.

Abbacchio turned to wash his hands, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. "Alright, I'm gonna have to clean that thing out first."

Giorno nodded, leaning back against the side of the tub.

He watched as Abbacchio grabbed several things he had left out on the counter and came to kneel beside the tub.

"Gonna flush this first," he said, holding up some saline wash. "It's not gonna be pleasant."

"Yeah," Giorno acknowledged quietly, setting his jaw as Abbacchio wrapped a hand around his knee, tilting his leg at a better angle while keeping a firm grip on him and then unceremoniously pointed the squeeze bottle toward the wound.

The pain that resulted was so bad that Giorno felt the coppery taste of impending sickness in the back of his throat. He let out a strangled sound and tried to breathe through his nose so that he wouldn't throw up on top of everything.

Abbacchio swore quietly before redirecting the wash and going at it again. Giorno instinctively tried to pull away, but Abbacchio's grip was firm.

"Easy," he murmured. "This wound's a lot deeper than I thought. How the hell did you walk around on this for the last two days?"

Giorno didn't answer, simply bit back another groan and gripped the sides of the tub with white-knuckled hands. He glanced down, watching as the blood and yellowed discharge got flushed from the wound and washed down the drain, then finally squeezed his eyes shut, unable to stand looking at it anymore.

Abbacchio sighed as he finally pulled back, but only to grab an antiseptic wash. "This will probably feel worse, but I want to make sure it's actually clean this time."

Giorno braced himself, but was unable to keep from crying out when Abbacchio poured the antiseptic over his leg.

"Easy," he said again, tightening his grip as Giorno threatened to pull away, or kick him—he wasn't sure what his intention had been—it just hurt.

"I know it sucks, but that's what happens when you ignore your injuries. I swear you're as bad as Bruno."

Giorno furrowed his brow. "Doesn't he just use Sticky Fingers?" he asked to distract himself.

Abbacchio snorted. "Yeah, exactly. He tries to pass zippers off as valid first aid. All they do is close in all the bacteria. Believe it or not, I've had to do this for him too on more than one occasion and one was already too many. You can't just ignore injuries and expect them to get better. And you definitely don't agree to go on a job that could potentially be dangerous when you have a fever and a festering wound."

Giorno ducked his head, cringing again as Abbacchio made one more pass with the antiseptic before setting it aside.

"I don't care if you think it's showing weakness or whatever shit, if I have to find another one of my teammates collapsing from fever, because they were too damn stubborn to get proper medical help, then I'm going to be the one enforcing some rules around here."

"I'm sorry," Giorno said quietly, biting his lip as Abbacchio dabbed the wound dry with some gauze.

"Don't say you're sorry and then go and do it again," Abbacchio growled. "I know you and Bruno think you have some duty to the rest of us or some shit, but all I want is a little honesty. It's okay to admit you're hurting. Injuries happen—it doesn't make you weak."

Giorno looked aside. Maybe it was the fever, but Abbacchio's words affected him more than he wanted to admit. "I'll try to remember that. I just…that concept isn't really something I'm used to. I've only ever hidden injuries because if I didn't…" He trailed off, knowing he shouldn't even have said that much, but his head hurt, and he was exhausted and woozy, and honestly, he felt safe with Abbacchio.

The goth paused briefly at his words, seeming to contemplate something before he reached for more gauze and spread antibacterial cream over it. "Look, kid," he finally said. "I don't know what shit you went through before you joined the team, but you don't have to worry about stuff like that anymore. You have a support group. And we don't care if you get injured—not like that anyway. All I ask is that you admit it, especially when the wounds get infected."

Giorno ducked his head. "Okay. I'll…work on remembering that next time."

Abbacchio grunted, carefully placing the swatch of gauze across the wound and then wrapping it a lot better than Giorno had. When he finally taped it off, he sat back on his heels and pressed the back of his hand to Giorno's forehead.

"I got some meds for the pain and fever, but you might want to take some antibiotics once we get back home—think we have some lying around for this kind of thing."

Giorno nodded and wearily allowed Abbacchio to pull him out of the tub. His leg still hurt, obviously, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Probably because it wasn't sticking to the bandage again.

"Let's head home," Abbacchio told him after Giorno had carefully dressed and took the promised medicine.

Giorno nodded, exhausted. He really just wanted to lay down and sleep.

Abbacchio cleaned up a little and helped him back out to the car. Giorno sank gratefully into the seat, though still squinted against the sun. It must have been the fever making his head hurt so badly, he realized.

Abbacchio dug around in the car before coming up with a pair of sunglasses that he handed over. Giorno gratefully took them and closed his eyes.

"You can rest if you want to. It will be a little bit of a drive," Abbacchio said.

Giorno was already ahead of him though. Curling up against the window, he pretty much passed out by the time Abbacchio had pulled out onto the street.

***

Abbacchio pulled up in front of the house, glancing over at the sleeping teen in the passenger seat. He didn't have the heart to wake him and instead decided he was going to have to take a blow to his pride to carry the kid into the house.

He got out to do that but before he could, Bruno appeared, anger and worry clashing on his face.

"Where is he?" he demanded as Abbacchio opened the passenger door, careful to make sure Giorno didn't fall out. "Giorno, what the hell—?"

Abbacchio pressed a finger to his lips and Bucciarati stopped and thankfully quieted.

"Kid's exhausted, let him sleep off the fever," Abbacchio said quietly. "Don't worry, I already gave him a talking to. Not like you're in any position to accuse anyone of that sort of thing."

Bruno gave him an indignant look, but it quickly softened as he glanced into the car and saw Giorno fast asleep. "Thank you for looking after him."

"Isn't that my job?" Abbacchio asked blandly as he bent and carefully scooped Giorno up into his arms, pulling him out of the car.

He carried Giorno inside and settled him on the couch in the living room. As an afterthought, he grabbed a blanket from a nearby chair and spread it over him.

"Hopefully next time he'll have learned his lesson," Abbacchio said, and felt pretty confident that Giorno would. Or, at least, he would be ready to keep an eye out for the signs.

Bucciarati gave him a look, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Shut up," Abbacchio snapped.

"I didn't say anything," the other man protested.

Abbacchio sneered. He wasn't going soft—at least not too much.

Though he did adjust Giorno's blankets to make sure he was warm and covered. Just in case.

[eurphoriajunkie]

I did not write this. I did however copy and paste into a doc that i just stumbled across. oops.

WE NOW INTERRUPT YOUR DRUG USE TO BRING THESE IMPORTANT MESSAGES:

THIS IS BASICALLY THE METH AND STIMS SUPPLEMENT ENCYCLOPEDIA: it relates to anyone using stimulants, RCs, and similar drugs>

I’m adding some tips from the site I’m linking as well as some of my own tipssssssss because we are all responsible (?) tweakers right?? :)

1. WATER: keeps you hydrated so your circulation is good, and helps your lungs clear up so they can take more cloudss

2. Vitamin C: it’s needed to synthesize dopamine, clear meth from the body, and acts as an antioxidant

3. B VITAMINS: these help your body metabolize energy, promotes nervous system health, and ensures that your organs and shit are working properly like they should

UPDATE: 7/27/17: stress formula by puritans pride ($5) has all the b vitamins and vitamins c and e!

4. PROTEIN: meat, eggs, dairy, beans, and protein shakes all give you all or almost all of the amino acid family (like l-tyrosine, l-phenylalanine, tryptophan, lysine, etc) and all of the amino acids are important in NEUROTRANSMITTER SUPPORT AND HEALTH. protein = dopamine

UPDATE 7/26/17: l-tyrosine and l-phenylalanine are the main amino acids needed to form dopamine. If you haven’t eaten for a while, you’re probably out of dopamine. L-dopa is also sold, which makes dopamine faster but the whitey longcoats say this may be more neuro-bad for your transmitters. up to you!

5. Magnesium: protects the brain against injury, reducing neurotoxicity (use this shit all throughout)

6. N-acetyl-cysteine (NAC) and selenium: meth depletes something called glutathione, which is important for oxidative stress defense. NAC and selenium replenish glutathione, increasing your meth defense points by like 15

UPDATE 8/21/17: NAC Detox Regulators by Doctor’s BEST: $5-6? 60 pills, each has 50 mcg selenium, 50 mcg molybdenum, and 600 MG OF N-acetylcysteine (NAC)!

7. Yogurt and cheese: both of these are more basic on the pH scale (meth is acidic duh), so it helps our bodies pH level normalize. AND THERE’S MORE: cheese will help your teeth dude. yogurt helps the stomach so you don’t feel like shit

8. Mouthwash and toothpaste: biotene is a good brand that keeps your mouth from getting too dry (dryness = meth mouth = acid eats your enamel) swish that shit every now and then between fatass hits. Water is good too if you’re broke. and what really saves some money is keeping a tube of toothpaste nearby, taking a small pinch, and rising that with water. For toothpaste, you can use biotene for dryness or arm+hammer hydrogen peroxide toothpaste for FUCKING AMAZING CLEANING BUBBLE POWER that helps remove regular and meth type shit that’s lingering. these shits have flouride so best to spit it out like a good girl. oh and don’t brush too hard or with hard toothbrushes. the acid makes your teeth weak

adding: Henry’s alkalizing mouthwash is good to rinse and gargle with for a clean. somewhat expensive though, so if you can’t get that, use hydrogen peroxide or a salt mouthwash. or the toothpaste trick.

UPDATE 7/28/17: remineralizing toothpaste using baby size soft bristle toothbrushes are good. waterpik or flossing is good too. use HOT water.

9. Green tea (the tea or supplement): I don’t really use this but I should. green tee has a lot of phytochemicals which are supposed to mitigate neurogenerative disease

10. Apple cider vinegar (straight or pills): vinegar is really alkaline, so it neutralizes the acidity that meth causes to your beautiful self. Acidity is bad because it ruins your teeth and fucks up almost everything like metabolism and proper nutrient absorption. You can add the vinegar to a mouthwash or your bath too

11. Hot water baths: sitting around smoking meth makes your blood flow and circulation stagnant and you feel like shit. Hot water baths helps with circulation and also pull out toxins. Add bath salts (not the drugs), vinegar, lemon juice, shampoo, soaps, tea tree oil, lavender, and a ton of other random shit like tree bark to your bath to help cleanse.

12. Biotin and collagen: biotin is a vitamin B7 and helps keep your hair, nails, and skin healthy. Collagen does the same.

13. Extra-credit: astaxanthin and acai pills: both are very powerful antioxidants

14. Calcium and vitamin D: calcium prevents acid from leaking too many nutrients from your bones, vitamin D enhances our body’s defenses against dopaminergic damage

15. EATING: lol i almost forgot 😂😂😂 eat big fat meals because you need ingredients to live you know. helps your body regulate itself. Fruits and veggies will help detoxify you. Meats are good bc (read #4).

16. All-around neurotransmitter support/health supplements: will help you from becoming a zombie. These usually have a few of the ingredients above together so that’s pretty cool

adding: examples 1. true focus by now foods: gives you the foundational blocks to keep neurotransmitters healthy 2: true calm by now foods: to loosen any tweaks jitters 3. source naturals’ theanine serene with relora calming complex with GABA: has l-theanine to calm brainwave activity and calms the neurotransmitter GABA. also has magnesium and a few other things.

17. Co-Q10 and SAM-e: both help in the neurotransmitter department

18. NSAIDs: aka aspirin (ibuprofen) - supposed to help with neuro defenses

UPDATE: Advil may be better someone says as Tylenol might add worse liver damage maybe

19. Fans and maybe humidifiers: don’t use fans when you’re lighting up… but when you’re not, fans will help push meth vapor away and maybe outside hopefully. They also keep you cool, because meth is a stim, and all stims cause your temperature to rise. High temps lead to increased chances of neurotoxity. Humidifiers add more moisture to your air because meth makes the air dry and that’s not good.

20. Omega 3s and omega 6s: fish have a lot of these but pills that have these omegas are usually more effective. Omega fats/oils are required for healthy brain function: they can pass the blood brain barrier and are important in neuron plasticity. these are also good for circulation.

21. Skin lotion: helps keep your skin hydrated and healthy

22. Melatonin: good to use 1-2 hours before you want to sleep. It’s also an antioxidant. Kava kava root, St. John’s wort, and lavender/chamomile all help relax you so you can sleep.

23. Try not to drink sugary acidic drinks - they can increase the acid effects from meth and slow your circulation

24. TUMS/calcium chews: helps fight acidity in mouth and settle your stomach

25. Cinnamon: pure cinnamon powder supplements are good for lowering blood pressure and easing circulation, so you’re not wasting hits and making sure more importantly that your liver is filtering toxins out at a steady rate

26. CHEWING GUM: with xylitol and no sugar if possible. this is a lifesaver in the meth mouth department that will keep your mouth hydrated so you don’t start losing your enamel if you forget to rinse with biotene or something. your mouth should never be desert dry.

27. Bananas (potassium): potassium ions are needed by the body for normal nerve cell transmission. same with calcium and sodium.

28. (UPDATE 7/27/17): circulation boosting supplements : l-arginine (amino acid), nitric oxide (not for the weak of ❤️), curcumin (which is also an all around antioxidant, but there’s some debate), omega 3 fatty acids, and niacin (B3). also help circulate your blood flow by getting up to walk and move or twerk. a hot bath ofc too. water and healthy foods benefit as well - burgers and fries don’t.

29. (UPDATE 8/21/17) alpha lipoid acid and l-carnitine hcl: ALA is an antioxidant and helps with neuropathy (protects and repairs nerve damage) caused by diabetes, cancer, and probably meth. It reduces tingling like pain (which can signal fibromyalgia or something else!!). Helps provide insulin resistance. Can protect damage to retina from type 2 diabetes. Helps with dementia. 600 mg at least recommended. L-carnitine helps ALA to better absorb and metabolize for super effective teamwork.

Foods with natural sources of ALA: spinach, brocolli, yams, potatoes, yeast, tomatoes, brusselsprouts, carrots, beets, rice bran. Red meat has a lot too.

30. (UPDATE 8/27/17) SLEEP: I never added this one since it’s sort of obvious but I def don’t get enough of this. I get confused sometimes too prob bc of lack of sleep.

31. Nootropics: Nootropics are smart drugs that supposedly help people focus and learn more. I’m not a pro at this stuff, so if you know more, reblog with a comment and I’ll add info. There’s a research paper about modafinil offering protective effects against meth use, “meth-induced astrocytosis was completely prevented by modafinil.” And their findings support that it exerts protection against meth toxicity. Noopept, piracetam, and others may offer something too. Supposedly these are good if you’re looking to cut back or quit too. +1 for filing that info later.

32. (UPDATE: 10/11/17) Methyl B-12 Vitamin: methylcobalamin is the superior source of b12 over cyanocobalamin by absorption!! B12 supports nerve and brain cells. IT is a very important supplement for harm reduction. Jarrows Formulas makes a nice chewable lemon lozenge of this, 100 of them at 1000mcg b12each!!!!! courtesy @taketherest

33. Bath salts and body detox: EPSOM SALT W/ MINERALS SOLUTIONS ARE LIFESAVERS. this helps pull out toxins in a warm bath while exfoliating your skin and giving your brain and heart a while to relax. This is good for liver & kidney. DR TEALS brand sells the straight salt and bath soap form in many nourishing varieties like milk+honey, lavender, jasmine.. etc = good stuff. @dothemetharound brought this up again.

[yanderepuck]

The walking shit post, Dazai

I don’t know why it took me so long to write about this man

First off, he went into the woods behind the mansion and built a farm.  Comte asks him what he does out in the woods and Dazai tells him that he has a farm, and Comte laughs it off thinking he wasn’t telling the truth

Then Comte found the farm and Dazai is like “Not my fault you didn’t believe me”

He also built a koi pond in the garden, and because the garden is so big Comte didn’t even notice until he fell into it 

Que Dazai yelling at him because it took him two weeks to try to get the one koi out of its hiding spot.

He is an actual Disney princess

He also sleeps naked.  Everyone has learned this the hard way.

He wakes up and stretches . . .still naked

Sebas has walked in more than once.

Bunta sits on his head a lot as he walks around the mansion

He will also sit in trees with Bunta

He has a lot of shower thoughts in the middle of the day

Dazai: our bodies are just ads for our sperm and eggs Isaac: . . .Please get out of my bed Dazai: peeing in your dream and wetting yourself is a dream come true Isaac: again . .  please get out of my bed

Always trying to get the others to eat the food he makes

Some of it they will try.

Dazai is a writer... he doesn’t need to be buff, but he runs away from too many problems and climbs up walls.

If you try telling me Dazai isn’t on drugs I won’t listen

He still has all of his bad habits from when he was alive

June 19th, 1909 Dazai: K.  I’m off to kill a baby Arthur: wait isn’t it your birth-DAZAI NO

He speaks in more riddles than Will

He may have walked out of his room once or twice naked

He forgot clothes

Probably gets really interested in something, and two weeks later is out of it

He can never remember the work aquarium so he calls it a “Fish Farm”

A goat has followed him to the mansion from the farm

Comte was not happy to wake up to a goat eating his tie

Can’t function on more than one thing

Brain will go brrr

Reading and eating??? Nope

If his mind is set on one thing it’ll be set on that thing til it’s finished

Except writing

He writes until his brain goes brrr and he passes out

Can’t be depressed if you can’t multitask

When Comte came to revive him he misunderstood where he will now be staying.

Instead of learning French he learned Spanish

Arthur then told him that Leonardo speaks Spanish

Dazai goes up to him and starts talking and Leonardo is like “I’m fucking Italian”

Then Dazai left for three days.  To no one knows where.  

Can speak fluent French.

Masterlist

[myhockeyworld87]

Not So Dangerous Liaison - Sidney Crosby - Part 11

Word Count: 3,512

POV: Sid’s

Warnings: Maybe Language? But I don’t think so.

Notes: So I thought this was going to be the chapter that there was smut, but it turned out a bit long, so I saved it for the next chapter. Good news, I’m almost done with that chapter. It might just come out early! I’m trying not to put myself on a schedule any more, so we will see. This is just cute and fluffy kind of defining their relationship.

Not So Dangerous Liaison Masterlist

You made your way down to breakfast, Stanley Cup in hand. It was an amazing feeling, but then the past twenty-four had been that. Waking up with (Y/N) in your arms, and that trophy in your room was a high that no drug could replicate. The only thing you missed now, was her sitting beside you, eating breakfast, though you wouldn’t have minded staying in bed with (Y/N) and ordering room service. 

 She chose that moment to enter the room. Was it just you or was her smile a little brighter this morning? You knew yours was. She grabbed a plate of food and then headed over to a table, that was not yours. You frowned. “Something wrong Sid?” Flower asked taking the seat beside you. Only your best friend would’ve noticed the look.

 “No.”

 “Uh-huh,” he answered, following your gaze which was trained on (Y/N). You couldn’t imagine why she was sitting so far away. “Does this mean I’m sitting alone again on the plane?”

 “What?”

 “I see where you’re looking. What happened? Did you piss her off or something?”

 “No,” well not that you knew of. She’d literally just left your bed, not thirty minutes ago. You’d thought everything was fine, well better than fine, at least that’s the impression you got when you kissed her and she kissed you back. Now she had you wondering though. 

 “Your face says something different.”

 “It’s just…” you were afraid to reveal any more, even though Flower knew your feelings for (Y/N). You knew that she was leery about dating you with her job, and there were too many people around to hear what truly happened last night. “I’ll talk to you later about it.”

 “Maybe you should talk to her instead. I’ve always found that it’s easiest just to say sorry, even if you weren’t wrong.” Flower added before shoveling eggs into his mouth. You sat there finishing your breakfast replaying the morning over in your brain, yet couldn’t think of anything that would make (Y/N) mad, that she wouldn’t come and have breakfast with you. It was twenty minutes later, that you saw her heading to the elevators, to grab her bag, or so you assumed as the bus was leaving shortly. You jumped up, claiming to have forgotten something, even though your stuff was already on the bus.

 The elevator doors were just about to close when you stuck your hand between them to stop them. You quickly jumped inside, noticing that it was just the two of you. Being in the elevator with her would forever remind you of when you two were stuck, and you finally realized how badly you wanted her. It was a good memory. As the door slid shut, you turned to her and ask, “Are you mad at me?”

 “No, why?”

 “You didn’t sit with me at breakfast.” She looked at you then giggled; you didn’t see one thing funny about the whole situation and found yourself frowning at her.

 “Are you really upset about that?” You just shrugged, unsure what would happen if you told her you were. “Sid, I didn’t sit with you, because I don’t want people to think there is something going on between us. I’m just trying to act normal, ya know?” Her explanation made sense, the door to the elevator opened and you followed her out and down the hallway to her room. “Where are you going?” She whispered a bit harshly.

 “With you to finish talking.” 

 She rolled her eyes, yet swiped the key card at the door before looking both ways and shooing you inside, then shutting the door behind her. “Sid, the point of me not being at breakfast wasn’t so you could follow me here.”

 “I don’t see why we just can’t, sit together, and stuff.” You ran a hand through your hair a bit frustrated. “You know it’s going to come out eventually.” 

 “But…well…what if we go out and…well you just don’t like me.”

 You pulled your head back, letting her words sink in, before reaching your hands and grabbing her by the waist. “That’s not even an option, because I already do.” You brought her face close to yours. “Unless you’re worried it’s going to be the other way around?”

 “No,” she blurted out, then blushed a cute shade of pink. “I’ve liked you for a while now.”

 “Really? You should tell me more about this.” She shook her head then pulled back, but you tightened your grip.

 “We can’t do this now, the bus is leaving in like ten minutes.”

 “I have a feeling they’ll wait.” She just sighed.

 “For you, yes, but for me. Not so much.” It was your turn to roll your eyes at her. You hated it when she didn’t think she was important to the team. “If I promise that we can discuss this once we’re home; can we please go?”

 “Maybe.”

 “What if I sweeten the deal?” She went up on her toes then and playfully kissed your lips, just lightly grazing them with hers. “Would it help?” You moaned out a yes, and then her lips were capturing yours. Her mouth opened immediately for you to taste her. She tasted faintly of orange juice and something purely (Y/N). You had a desperate need to toss her on the bed and see if the rest of her tasted as sweet. You weren’t sure who moaned first, you or (Y/N) but the sound had her breaking away from you all too soon. “We need to go.”

 You rested your forehead on hers for just a second, before pecking her lips one more time. “I guess that will have to do for now.” You emphasized the ‘for now’ part, as you hoped to pick this up as soon as the plane landed. 

 “By the way, you’re sitting with Flower on the way home.” You went to protest and she held a finger to your lips. “No buts. We are keeping a normal distance for the time being.” A groan escaped you, but you allowed her this one small measure considering that the season was officially over, and she would no longer be able to use that excuse.

 The plane ride home was endless; well maybe that wasn’t the right word. You still had a good time as it was pretty much a party atmosphere on the jet. It just would have been more fun with (Y/N) by your side, not that you didn’t appreciate Flower and all. Once you landed it was complete chaos. Fans were urged not to come to the airport, yet there were still some there. You passed the cup off to Cullen to carry it down the stairs letting the guys share in the excitement. You tried to talk to (Y/N) before she left the plane but it got too hectic and you somehow lost sight of her, until you saw her car exiting the parking lot. 

 It was already decided on the plane that the party would continue at Mario’s that night. This way everyone’s families could join in. Once you were home you shot (Y/N) a quick text. Park at my place and we can walk down to Mario’s together. You only lived a few short blocks away, and if (Y/N) was parked here, there was a good chance of her staying the night again. You’d already given the cup to Mario before you left the airport, so you didn’t need to lug that down the street. 

 Are you sure people won’t be suspicious? She texted back. Your fingers typed out a quick reply. His place is big, but can’t hold all those cars. No one will think anything of it. You waited patiently for her to answer. Good point, see you at 7. Well, that was one hurdle you were over, now if you could just get her to stay the night again.

 She arrived at your gate a few minutes before seven and you quickly buzzed her in. You met her at the car, so she wouldn’t feel awkward coming up to the door. “Is it ok to park right here?” She was in front of one of the garage stalls.

 “Completely,” you told her. Hell, she could park in your garage if she wanted. When she got out of the car, she took your breath away. She had on a long floral print dresses that tied at her side and flowed all around her and she looked like a breath of summer sunshine. The tie from her white bikini was peeking out of the top. “Did you want to come inside for a bit?” Or maybe the rest of the night? You wanted to add but refrained.

 “It seemed like a lot of people were already at Mario’s when I drove by, maybe we should head down. Do you need to get your stuff?” Mario told everyone to bring bathing suits as it was a beautiful summer evening and he knew people would want to enjoy the pool.

 “Nah, I’m good. Just need to lock up.” You went back to the side door and turned the alarm system on, while (Y/N) grabbed her bag out of the back. “You look beautiful by the way. I was hoping to tell you that while we had drinks inside.”

 “Oh…We can. I mean I didn’t…” That damn blush of hers rose up again.

 You snatched her around the waist and pulled her close, abruptly causing her to cease her ramblings. “It’s fine. You’re right we should get over there. There’s just one thing first.” Tilting your head, you let your lips drift over hers. She leaned closer into you and that’s when you deepened the kiss. You could’ve stayed like that forever until your sunglasses slid off your head and interrupted the moment. She gently lifted them back to the top before pecking your lips one last time. “Now, I guess we can go.” You laced your hands together and started down the drive. “So, is it business as usual again or can we mix some personal in it tonight?”

 “Well we are going to our boss's house, so it would probably be best if it were business.”

 “You know I don’t really look at him as a boss right?” She glanced curiously over at you. “Well, he’s more like...I don’t know an older brother. When I lived there, it just sort of developed into that type of relationship.” 

 “Ok I get that, but he’s still technically my boss.”

 “And no where does it say that we can’t date each other.” It was something you’d looked into the moment you realized that you were developing feelings for (Y/N). “In fact, I think if he knew we were dating; he’d one hundred percent approve.”

 “When did we start dating?” 

 “Oh…I just…well, I figured…” You stammered out.

 “Relax, I’m just teasing you.” She smirked. “I mean we haven’t officially gone out yet, but I kind of do feel like we are dating.” You squeezed her hand then brought up your joined fingers to place a soft kiss across her knuckles.

 “Well, I do plan on taking you out.”

 “Yeah looks like it won’t be the day we planned though.”

 It hit you then, that all the celebration of winning the cup was happening on that day. “What about tomorrow?”

 “Don’t you have to go to the ballpark and throw the first pitch?” You tossed your head back in frustration. “They’re going to expect you to stay for a bit, you know.”

 “True, but won’t you be there? We could sneak out early.”

 “I am officially off of team duty, as you shouldn’t really be getting injured showing the cup off.”

 “What? I could be hit by a foul ball and knocked unconscious. You should really be there just in case.” She just shook her head at you.

 “I doubt that would seriously happen.” You were nearing Mario’s place now, and you knew she’d make you let go of her hand and pretend that you weren’t just talking about going on a date. “We can talk about it later. I’m sure we’ll think of something.”

 “Oh, trust me, I’m taking you out tomorrow if it’s the last thing I do.” You went to kiss her one last time but saw Flower and Vero walking down the drive, and (Y/N) pulled away.

 “Don’t let us stop you,” Vero called out as they walked up beside the two of you. “I see you finally came to your senses, Sid.”

  This time it was your turn to blush, for you knew it had taken you long enough to realize that you could have everything you wanted and the girl of your dreams. “Stop giving him a hard time Vero. He’s had a lot of hits to the head with the puck. He’s quite slow on things.”

 “Thanks, Flower. I can always count on you to have my back.” Your sarcasm was not lost on the group.

 Vero looped her arm through (Y/N)’s and headed to the backyard. “But seriously I need to hear all the details.”

 “Well, there’s nothing to tell, we’re just friends.”

 “Please, don’t give me that line. If you’re worried about what people will say don’t be.” Finally, someone who could talk some sense into her. “We’re all just happy that Sid finally realized what a great catch you were and snagged you up in time before someone else did.” She looked back at you then. “You did snatch her up, right? Or was that almost kiss we interrupted something else.”

 “I’m trying to.” You told her. “Maybe you can assure her, that she’s not going to lose her job if she dates me. You are one of her best friends, maybe she’ll listen to you.”

 “Oh pish,” Vero sighed out.

 “What are you fifty?” (Y/N) chirped her, but Vero just continued.

 “You’re not losing anything, by dating that one. I have it on good authority that not only are you irreplaceable, but that one has a pretty good connection with the owner.”

 “Ugh, I swear you are all ganging up on me.”

 “Only because we all love you and want you to be happy.” She looked over at you when she spoke the word ‘love.’ You weren’t quite sure you were ready to go there yet, but it would be easy to see yourself being in love with (Y/N). “Now, loosen up, and let’s have fun tonight. I for one plan on celebrating both the win and the fact that Marc-Andre and I finally got you two together.” 

 Once you entered the party (Y/N) and Vero headed over to where the rest of the girls were, which meant you didn’t get much time with her. Drinks flowed almost as much as the night before. People were jumping in and out of the pool. There were an endless amount of pictures with the cup, even one with all the ladies, including (Y/N), drinking out of straws from it. She looked so damn cute with everyone. At some point, she and Vero were standing over by the edge of the pool, doing shots. “What do you say we go take them for a little dip?” Flower was the king of practical jokes but you weren’t sure how well this one was going to go over. On the other hand, it would be a way to get some attention from (Y/N). 

 “On three?”

 Flower nodded, then counted down. “One…Two…Three.” The two of you went rushing towards the girl, tossing them in the pool with you, drinks and all. 

 You and (Y/N) surfaced at the same time, a look of surprise written across her face. “Sidney Crosby, I can’t believe you just…” You burst into a fit of laughter and she followed you. To say that the four of you had attracted some attention was putting it mildly, for the next thing you knew everyone was jumping in. You grabbed (Y/N) pulling her close so that she was out of the way as Dumo cannonballed into the water. 

 You didn’t let her go, as carried her to a less chaotic end of the pool. “Sorry about throwing you in. You’re not mad, are you?”

 “No, it’s all in good fun, though maybe you should let me go before people notice.”

 “I don’t care, (Y/N) and I wish you didn’t either because I really want to kiss you right now.” She smiled at the comment, yet didn’t come closer for you to put your words into action.

 “I’m just not ready for the whole public thing yet, Sid.” You released her then, a bit frustrated. “Hey,” she called out when you went to turn and leave. She grabbed your hand then and interlocked your fingers, above the surface of the water. “How about we take it one step at a time?”

 “Yeah,” you answered smiling into her eyes. “I can do that.” 

 “Chicken fight!” Someone yelled and you saw some of the ladies getting boosted up on shoulders.

 “So, you game?” you asked (Y/N).

 “Hell ya, and I expect to win.” She said with a wink as you dove under the water, surfacing with her sitting on your shoulders. It was all innocent fun, but the fact that her legs were literally wrapped about your neck, did unspeakable things to you. One by one the girls grappled with each other, most of them falling into the water after a few shoves from the guys underneath them. It was down to you and (Y/N), and Shears, and Jordan. You could tell the young pup didn’t want to offend his captain, and with a few jolts, they were falling down, declaring you and (Y/N) the champs. You swam with her in a victory lap, until someone knocked the Stanley Cup into the water and you felt (Y/N) teeter off your shoulders in an effort to save it. It was no use, as the trophy dove into the pool. “Oh shit!” You weren’t sure who exactly uttered the words, but you burst into laughter, followed by (Y/N) and everyone else. 

 “Well, I guess it floats.” You announced to the group, which was followed by more laughs. The party continued on with the cup just floating around everyone. (Y/N) stayed pretty much by your side, until you’d both had enough of the pool and got out. She was nice enough to share the towel she’d brought with you, even though there were some set out for everyone to use. She headed off to change, then came and found you afterward. 

 To your surprise, she didn’t move away when you placed your hand on the small of her back, as you stood there talking to Horny and Tanger, and their wives. It was a small victory but one you were willing to take. Around one in the morning, the party started to wind down, and you leaned close to her ear and whispered. “Are you ready to go?”

 “Whenever you are.” You went and grabbed her bag for her, telling some people goodbye as you both went in search of your host. You finally found him and Nathalie sitting at a table, sharing a bottle of wine. “Thank you both for an incredible evening.” (Y/N) told them.

 “Oh are you two heading out?” Nathalie asked, glancing down at your joined hands. You thought for sure (Y/N) would pull away but she didn’t. 

 “Yeah, I think we’ve had enough for one night.” You commented. “Do you need me to get these any of these guys out of here for you?”

 “Nah, let them have some fun a little longer,” Mario replied. “We’ll see you both tomorrow.”

 “Oh, no, not me but I’ll be there Wednesday to help with the parade organization.” (Y/N) quickly answered.

 “Really? I thought all the girlfriends were going?” You always knew that Mario had a keen intuition on things. He probably knew you and (Y/N) were perfect for each other long before either of you did. 

 “Um…” 

 “She’ll be there.” You interrupted (Y/N)’s feeble attempt at making any excuse that she wasn’t dating you. 

 “Good, you two have a good night now.” Nathalie chimed in, as (Y/N) tugged on your hand for the two of you to go. You turned, but not before you caught a quick wink from the man who was more like your brother than your boss. 

 As you headed out of the house, you looked over at (Y/N), who was still red from your encounter with the Lemieux’s. “You ok?”

 “Yeah,” she breathed out then chuckled a bit. “I guess I was worried for nothing.” She stopped and then looked you in the eye. “And don’t you dare say I told you so.”

 It was your turn to laugh now. “Would I say that?”

 “Shut up and kiss me before I change my mind.”

 “Well, I’m not going to argue with that.” Your lips were on hers, and you were pretty sure a few people that were leaving saw the whole thing, but nothing mattered whenever you had her in your arms like this. 

[postapocalypsecomedownblues]

Dub Part 2 - Ketaphysics

“Every observer perceives the complex mosaic of reality through a screen onto which gradually more and more personal associations are projected. The transparency of this screen determines the quality of the observation and the opinion that is formed based on this.”

Wim van Dullemen – The Gurdjieff Movements

More from Dub. Someday I’ll get into my own stuff but for now it feels good to let him talk...

7/31/2018 – Tuesday

Tomorrow I go to this clinic in Salt Lake City to begin ketamine treatment for PTSD. I’ve been using cannabis to keep it from flaring up, and things are better than they’ve ever been (and so much better than my nadir in January 2014) but I don’t just want to minimize the symptoms. So here we go.

8/1/2018 – Wednesday

Session 1 is in the can. Dr REDACTED seems pretty knowledgeable and started me off on a series of intramuscular injections. He started me out and set a timer for 30 minutes. I felt the first rush within a few minutes and had a really pleasant half hour – sort of like a super mellow molly high, very much in the body as opposed to how your brain just takes flight sometimes.

After that 1st injection had more or less run its course the good doc loaded me up with 50ccs, adding (a little ominously) “We just doubled your dose.”

Again, the drug took hold in minutes. I remember being relaxed and focused, followed by a sense of “pulling inward” (which I assume is what people refer to as a K-hole).

Okay, first of all – how the fuck did this ever take off as a party drug? I cannot for the life of me understand how anyone uses this for fun and I fucking love drugs. Then again, I’m new to this one.

But that didn’t stop me from meeting Ketamine – an interdimensional hyperintelligent entity who will interface with you, but only because the software is compatible. Ketamine regards you about as fondly as you regard someone you run into online occasionally while campaigning in some MMORPG (admittedly, I know somewhere between Jack and shit about video games but I feel like this analogy holds). That’s the level of attraction or harmonious vibrational output or whatever you want to call it between Ketamine and the human intellect.

Ketamine started out looking like a planetoid sized beige octopus made out of egg cartons, cubicle walls, and those recessed cork tile ceilings, with eyes in the tentacles that shone fluorescently. Upon encountering Ketamine, DVB-13’s K-hole turned into a cocoon, except there was nothing inside the chrysalis. DVB-13 became the cocoon; became a ball of webbing that unraveled and spun apart into an infinitude of strands. These strands danced with the God Octopus Ketamine. That’s how we interfaced, I guess.

Space dancing.

I became aware of somebody trying to reach DVB-13 again. Oddly, this sensation could best be described as a single note that I heard, plucked on the strands that I had become, over and over.

Whoever wrote the script for Interstellar has probably done a fair amount of ketamine.

Long story short, I was hyperventilating. And the person was a nurse, who was trying to get me to breathe normally. I became aware of a plastic bag that I was supposed to breathe into. I was batting it away, while Dr H and the nurse were very calmly walking DVB-13 back out of the K-hole.

At some point I held the bag to my face (this was roughly about the same point “I” and “me” were coming back into focus). Immediately I began to feel worse and dropped the bag so that I could get up and walk around, which I did without falling down or anything, no doubt to the relief of everyone in the room. I went to the bathroom and took a leak, and by the time I was finished, something more or less approximating DVB-13 was approximately more or less at the proverbial wheel.

When I saw Dr REDACTED, he was the one to tell me I had been hyperventilating, and to try to avoid that in the future. I asked him if it was possible that I was doing ujjayi breathing, as it’s something I do during peak experiences sometimes. I don’t mean to, it’s more of a muscle memory thing as I’ve been practicing the Ashtanga method for a number of years. I demonstrated what I meant and he said it was possible, but basically that I should make more of a conscious effort to breathe normally in the future.

This all happened a few hours ago now. I’ve had a nap and some food and cannabis since then – not quite in that order. It’s hard to believe that this all happened in about two and a half hours; having my brain essentially scooped out, examined (washed perhaps; banished?) and stuffed back into my skull. Weirder still, I’m going back under on Friday.

The protocol is for 6 sessions total, spaced out over 12 days.

One other thing – since I can post this TWO PARAGRAPHS REDACTED the Right Hand of Eris. This morning’s layout was –

3 of Wands

Ace of Cups

7 of Swords

The Tower

2 of Wands

I’m not normally prone to precog, but I predicted drawing 3 out of 5 of those cards (these being the 1st, 3rd, and 5th cards drawn). Not saying I’m ready to join Professor X’s school for the middle-aged, just saying it was interesting. Anyway that’s it until Friday.

8/3/18 (Friday)

“This is hell.” A tall veteran mumbles as he fights to get up. One of his headphones has come loose and I can hear that heavy metal remake of “The Sound of Silence” floating tinnily out of the earbud.

I feel ya, buddy. Can’t say we share the same taste in music, but we are simpatico. The veteran has gotten all the way up and is standing in a corner. His wife holds him steady by the elbow. There’s a nurse standing about three feet away. With that distraction out of the way I turn my attention back to the timer in front of me. The timer is a very big deal around here.

For this second go-around I had three injections. The first two were administered into my right shoulder, the third into my left.

First of all I have to thank REDACTED for the suggestion to bring music along. This was an absolute game-changer in terms of reducing the overall stress, at least with the first two shots. The third one kicked my ass up and down the block several times over, but I’ll get into that one in a minute.

So, we did X and x+10 widgets again, and then capped it off with y. Y seems to be a threshold amount for me.

“Is this the abyss, this is the abyss, right? It’s got to be the abyss. Well, it’s an abyss anyway. The abyss being language, and beyond language, our capacity for association. Saturn is the mother of form, our mother in terms of our human power to name things. Saturn is beige – all shades of beige, streaked through with purple cobalt lightning bolts that stretch thousands of miles. They sound like nuclear bombs when they go off.

Our sphere is Earth, that’s where we live and fuck and pay bills but we are connected to levels of consciousness on different spheres as well. On the sphere of Saturn there are far fewer souls. They all behave like proper desert wizards. They move slowly like trees but live for millions of years in their version of time. We honor the mother Saturn by decorating our offices and low income housing in differing shades of beige. Beige curtains festoon hospices. Beige cinderblock walls greet every new inmate to our private prisons.

We may act like we have forgotten the old ways…

The gate to the abyss is guarded by the demon CHRNZN and he is an absolute motherfucker. This is language itself – when the first few primates experienced a basic understanding of language they must have bashed their brains out with rocks to try and get rid of it. We are beings compelled by multigenerational language algorithms that span thousands of years.

If the Dalai Lama feels like this all the time I feel really sorry for that guy.

The timer is a very big fucking deal.

Except when you’re really out there, well you guys know what happens to time, right? So, we can just step out of time whenever we want. All you have to do is get your brains scrubbed out by a shaman residing in the back of a freaking office complex. This world is fucking crazy.

“You’re a good man, Dr REDACTED.” I tell him, as the timer begins to move again. De La Soul’s Spitkicker.com fades into Livin’ Astro by Kool Keith. I spent some time on this playlist and it helped.

And just like that, time and effort mean something again. I think maybe it’s the loss of meaning that I’m struggling with at those limits. To experience limitless consciousness is to shed the idea of everything, both good and bad. So you get unfettered of your bullshit, but you also forget the actual meaning of concepts like family bonds and working towards a goal.

There are points beyond words, and I guess that’s what I’m running into here. There’s a reason I waited to post this, I wanted to see if I could clarify this any further after a solid night’s sleep but this is about as good as I can manage for the moment.

Thanks REDACTED Session 3 of 6 is tomorrow.

[violetwolfraven]

From the prompt ask any era #25 and #29 for javid, with a hint of sprace

Our mutual friends set us up.

and

I didn’t realize I was gay for you until someone else pointed it out and I’m a dumbass but can I be your dumbass?

Modern era it is! I don’t write enough of that.

...

“Y’know, this is on us,” Davey admitted, “We should’ve known Race wouldn’t want to show us an empty barn.”

Jack nodded in agreement, “We’re stupid. Yeah. So, how’re we gonna get out of here?”

Davey had no idea, honestly.

He didn’t really know why Race and Spot had decided to buy a farm out in the middle of nowhere, but it was useful for the yearly 4th of July party. There was enough space for everyone, and fresh eggs were definitely better than the store-bought kind.

And there was a big, empty barn that Spot and Race had supposedly been fixing up so they could get a horse, which conveniently already had doors that locked to keep coyotes out.

And no cell service, given that the barn was out of the WiFi’s range and the farm itself was in the middle of nowhere.

They really should’ve known that Race wouldn’t show them an empty barn as if it was exciting, even if he and Spot had been working pretty hard on it.

Long story short, Davey and Jack were locked in a very sturdy barn with no way out.

“So,” Davey said, looking around, “Why do ya think they locked us in here?”

“Does it matter?”

Davey shrugged, “Chances are, Spot and Race are listening somehow. They won’t let us out until whatever it is they’re hopin’ for happens. And I have no idea what they want, so you probably do.”

Jack looked like he was thinking, and then realization flashed across his face.

“Those little shits.”

“What is it?”

Jack laughed in a terrified kind of way, then shouted to the rafters, “You can just let us out, Race, cause it ain’t gonna happen!”

“What ain’t gonna happen?”

“Spot, I expect this shit from Race, but from you it’s just disappointin’!”

“What is it?” Davey asked again, “What do they want?”

Jack sighed, “It’s nothin’, Davey.”

Davey punched his best friend in the shoulder lightly, “It’s clearly not nothing, so what is it?”

He didn’t answer.

“Jack.”

“Look, it’s none of your business.”

“They ain’t gonna let us out unless we talk about whatever this is,” Davey pointed out, “So just tell me what the problem is.”

“I can’t.”

Jack wasn’t meeting his eyes, which was... weird, to say the least.

Whatever this was, he was nervous about it. He thought Davey would disapprove of... whatever it was?

Of course, that made a million scenarios pop up in Davey’s brain, and he had to push away ideas of drugs, gang activity, and a bunch of other horrible things Jack might think wouldn’t end well if he tried to come to Davey for help about them. He had to have more faith in his best friend than that.

“Jackie, look at me.”

Slowly, clearly reluctantly, Jack did.

“There’s nothing you could say that would make me leave ya,” Davey said firmly, “You’re my best friend. Whatever it is Spot and Race think it’s so important for me to know, I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

Jack snorted, “Oh, I don’t need help on anythin’. My secret ain’t the dangerous kind—it’d just make things weird.”

“What things?”

“You and me. We live together, Dave. We work not a mile apart from each other. Hell, we ain’t been apart for more than a couple weeks at most since middle school. We got a good thing goin’, and I don’t wanna mess that up.”

“Well, being locked in a barn messes it up a bit, don’t ya think?”

Jack snorted, but he was still staying quiet.

Honestly... it kind of hurt, that he’d kept some secret for what sounded like a long time. They told each other everything. Or, at least, Davey had thought they did.

But that had taken years, hadn’t it?

Jack’s childhood had been pretty messed up. He’d been failed by a lot of people, one way or another, and even being type where pain made him want to make sure nobody else ever got hurt, it had given him intense issues to work through.

Davey had met him in 7th grade and it had taken until their freshman year of high school to get him to drop his guard even a little. And after that, it had taken the rest of high school—months of proving he wouldn’t break his trust, hours spent holding Jack while he cried but still couldn’t bring himself to tell Davey a thing—and only after all that came a night not a month after they moved into their college dorm.

It had been a bad night for Jack, around the anniversary of his biological mother’s death, and he’d told Davey he trusted him more than anyone, with everything he had.

That was almost two years ago. Davey didn’t see how he could have missed that Jack was holding back one more secret. One bad enough that he was worried about it ruining their friendship.

“Jack, whatever it is, it’ll be fine,” Davey promised, “If you want, after you tell me, I’ll just pretend you never said anything. Just... tell me so we can get out of here?”

Jack was still hesitating, and while it was frustrating, how Davey didn’t know what more he could possibly do to prove he wouldn’t hurt him, he didn’t blame Jack. He’d been hurt enough times that being overly cautious made sense.

“Well... I can’t promise I’d stand by you if you killed someone,” he reasoned, trying to lighten the mood, “Unless they really deserved it.”

Jack laughed, “Okay, Davey.”

“Or if you play holiday music before Thanksgiving behind my back,” Davey teased, “Or if you secretly pull the wings off grasshoppers for fun. Or if you—“

“Stop,” Jack laughed.

“I’d leave you if you mowed the lawn at 3:41 in the morning every Tuesday while blasting Metallica from an old boom box on the porch.”

“That is oddly specific.”

“My family used to have an old man neighbor who did that,” Davey explained, “We moved to Manhattan for a reason. Anyway...”

“I’m in love with you.”

Jack looked almost as surprised as Davey as he blurted that out.

“I have been,” he added, after a good ten seconds of silence, “Since like, 8th grade. I just never said it cause... I dunno. I knew ya weren’t homophobic or nothin’, but it was just easier if nothin’ changed either way ‘tween us. I liked what we were doin’—I still do.”

Davey was still kind of frozen.

Jack was in love with him? This was a pretty big thing.

It made him feel kind of stupid, a little bit like a bad friend, for never having noticed.

Looking back, it wasn’t especially obvious, but it wasn’t not obvious, either.

“Race has been pressurin’ me to make a move since 10th grade,” Jack said awkwardly, “Crutchie, too. And Romeo. And Spot, and... well, basically everyone. Race actually used to say he was gonna lock us in a room until I confessed, but I thought he was joking. They all insisted you felt the same, but I always told ‘em, ‘I thinks I know my own best friend best.’ I know you...”

Jack was still talking, but Davey wasn’t listening. Instead, his mind was zeroing in on the last sentance he heard.

They all insisted you felt the same.

Davey had... never thought about it. About loving Jack like that. He’d never even considered the possibility.

He was probably stupid for that, but he just... hadn’t. Davey had known he loved Jack as a friend for years—how could he not?—but he’d never even thought about the possibility of being in love with him.

Was he in love with Jack?

They pretty much did everything couples did, already, besides the kissing and things like that. Davey would die for Jack. He would dedicate his life to making Jack happy. He trusted him with his life.

Did that mean he was in love with him?

...holy shit.

Jack was still rambling.

“Jack,” Davey said quietly, hoping he’d stop.

He did, wearing a frown that was meant to hide his fear.

Davey could see right through him, but he pretended he couldn’t.

“Have you really been in love with me since 8th grade?”

Jack shrugged, looking at the floor, “At least. That’s when I realized it. In hindsight, it mighta started even sooner, but...”

He trailed off as Davey took a couple steps closer.

“Jackie,” Davey said quietly, “It’s been... damn, it’s been 7 years, and I didn’t see it. I’m a dumbass.”

“Says the ‘double major, plays 3 instruments, 3.8 GPA’ student,” Jack pointed out.

He... was not wrong about that, but that wasn’t valid.

“Book smart and life smart are two different things.”

Jack snorted, “Is ‘street smarts’ another one?”

“Jack.”

“Sorry.”

Davey sighed, “What I’m trying to say is that... I’m oblivious for not noticin’ your feelings, but...”

He took a deep breath. He’d realized this approximately a minute and a half ago, had no time to process it, but telling him was right in a nauseating, terrifying kind of way.

“I’m a dumbass because I didn’t notice mine.”

Jack’s mouth dropped open in shock.

Davey smiled, then shouted to the rafters.

“Race, you can let us out now!”

To both of their surprise, it was Spot who opened the barn door, less than 5 minutes later.

“You idiots have issues,” he declared.

“Who convinced ya to make a move with my little brother again?” Jack asked.

Davey laughed. Maybe it was several years late, but better to get a late start than not to start anything at all.

[imjustthemechanic]

The Price of a Soul

Part 1/? - Agent Russel Part 2/? - The Letter Part 3/? - Miss Lake

Peggy and the real Agent Russel look into Miss Lake’s apartment, and find an unusual apology.

-

Both Peggy and Russel spent their mornings with a sketch artist, getting their memories of the mysterious woman’s face down on paper so they could be compared.  When the two drawings were finally placed side by side, Peggy was not at all surprised to see they could very well be the same person.  The woman who called herself ‘Kay’ had a pleasant oval face with a short, turned-up nose, the flawless skin Russel had already mentioned, and full lips that she accentuated with dramatic lipstick.  She was, Peggy observed, not so much strikingly beautiful in herself as somebody who knew her own good best features and how to emphasize them.

Dottie had been very much the same.

With that done, Peggy was finally able to stop by at a diner for some breakfast, though it was nearly lunch time and her stomach was growling fiercely.  Russel went with her.

“You’ve been eating all morning,” Peggy reminded him when he ordered the breakfast platter – bacon, eggs, sausages, potatoes, tomatoes, pancakes, and toast.

“I was in the trunk of my car for twenty-four hours, Agent Carter,” he replied.  “I could eat a horse.”

“I think you already did.  Have you called your wife?” Peggy asked.

He looked sheepish.  “I asked one of the police to do it for me.”

Mrs. Russel had probably loved that.  “How did that go?”

“I don’t know yet and I’m not sure I want to.”

“Mmm,” was all Peggy said.  It was a strange thing… men often treated their wives as foolish annoyances, yet at the same time they could be utterly terrified of them, as if women were less people than they were forces of nature.  “Well, perhaps you can consider it a learning experience.”

“Damned right,” Russel said.  Peggy wondered what he thought he’d learned.

“I suppose I’m going to have to go over the whole story of my interactions with Miss Underwood again,” Peggy remarked, as the waitress set their breakfasts on the table.  Oddly, it seemed less daunting now… as if telling it to the spy had been a reassuring practice run.

Russel cut himself a large square out of the edge of his pancakes and dipped it in syrup before stuffing it in his mouth.  “Save it for the next guy, Agent Carter,” he said around the mouthful.  “Call it a hunch but I think I’m about to be taken off this case.”

At least he was a realist, Peggy observed.  She sat quietly for a moment as he devoured sausages whole, then reached into her bag and took out the envelope.  “Agent Russel,” she said, “I believe our mutual friend may have given this to me.  Did she get it from you?”

He looked up at the envelope and frowned.  “I don’t think so.  What’s in it?”

“A piece of paper with six numbers on it,” Peggy replied.  “Seventy-nine, forty-seven, thirty-five, ninety-five, twenty-five, three.”  They had burned themselves into her brain.  She would never forget them, any more than she would have forgotten her own name.  “Does that mean anything to you?”

Russel shook his head.  “A code?” he suggested, and thought for a moment.  “Latitude and longitude?”

“It’s an island in Northern Canada, I already looked it up,” Peggy said.  “There’s nothing but sea ice for miles.”  Would that mean anything to him?  Did he know of her association with Steve?

He shrugged.  “The only thing I can suggest is call the Canadians and ask them to take a look.”

Not his, then… and he hadn’t known the name Olga Barynova.  Had the latter been a slip, or had ‘Kay’ deliberately fed her information?  And what in the world could be the meaning of the coordinates coming from a likely Soviet operative?  Before she placed any long-distance phone calls to Canada, Peggy really needed to find this woman.  The only question was, having done so, would they be able to get any information out of her?

Peggy had told Daniel where she’d be, so it wasn’t a surprise when one of the policemen came into the diner and approached their table.  “Agents?” he said.  “We traced that phone number.”

“Yes?” Peggy perked up.  She wouldn’t be surprised to find out it led to a pay phone, but that could at least be dusted for prints.

The man handed Agent Russel a piece of notepaper.  “It belongs to a room above the Botticelli Gardens nightclub on Hollywood Boulevard.  Some of the waitresses live up there.  The woman who keeps the records, Mrs. Lowe, said room four was rented to a woman named Katherine Lake.”

Agent Russel opened his mouth, but Peggy got there first.  “Did you show her the sketches?” she asked.

“That’s what I was going to ask,” said Russel.

“Not yet,” the policeman said.

“Then I’ll head over there at once,” said Peggy.

Russel nodded and held up a hand.  “Waitress!”  He snapped his fingers.  “Can I get the rest of this to go?”

“I thought you were being taken off the case,” Peggy reminded him.

“I’ve got a personal interest now.”

“Is that a personal interest in apprehending this Miss Lake, or a personal interest in avoiding your wife?”

“Bit of both,” he admitted.

He probably thought Peggy would need help with the investigation, she observed.  She just hoped he wouldn’t get too much in the way.

- 

The Botticelli Gardens was a located in a three-storey building designed to look from the outside like an Italian Villa, with red roofs, decorative columns, and a pair of under-watered cypress tress flanking the front doors.  At this time of day they were not yet open, so Peggy and Russel went around the side to the staff entrance and knocked.

The door opened to reveal a plump middle-aged woman of mixed racial ancestry, her frizzy dark hair only just contained in a bun at the back of her neck and a pair of cat-eye glasses perched precariously on her short nose.  Both Peggy and Russel held up their badges.

“Ned Russel, FBI,” he said.

“Peggy Carter, SSR,” Peggy added.  “Are you Mrs. Lowe?”

The woman heaved a sigh that suggested this was not the first time law enforcement had shown up on her doorstep this week.  “Yes, I’m Gladys Lowe,” she said.  “Now what?”

Peggy held up the sketch of Miss Lake.  “Do you know this woman?”

“Yes,” said Mrs. Lowe, not even surprised.  “That’s Kay Lake.  Arthur hired her about a week ago, but she didn’t turn up for work yesterday evening.  What’d she do?”

“Besides drugging me, robbing me, and leaving me locked in the trunk of my car?” asked Russel.

“Impersonating an FBI agent to gain access to classified information,” Peggy added.  “And possibly more, we’re not sure yet.  May we have a look at her room, please?”

Mrs. Lowe’s eyebrows rose and she whistled.  “She’s ambitious.  Most of them settle for petty theft.  Come in, she’s room four.  Are you going to impound her belongings?”  She was probably hoping to sell them.

“That depends on what we find, Mrs. Lowe,” said Peggy.

Mrs. Lowe showed them upstairs.  The second floor of the Botticelli Gardens was private party rooms for the VIP clientele, but the third was set aside as living quarters for the staff.  The rooms were tiny and cramped, with only one bathroom and one laundry for the lot of them.  Mrs. Lowe unlocked number four and Peggy followed Agent Russel inside.

It was empty.  There was a tiny bed, a nightstand, a small wardrobe, and a smaller vanity under the one grubby little window.  All the drawers and cupboard doors were open, to show that there was nothing in any of them.  The bedclothes were folded at the end of the mattress, so it was easy to see that there was likewise nothing under the bed.  The only thing in the room that would not have been there when Miss Lake moved in was a large brown paper bag on top of the folded sheets.

Peggy and Russel exchanged a glance.  “Mrs. Lowe,” said Peggy.  “Do you have any idea what might be in that bag?”

“No,” was the reply.

Russel edged forward and knocked it over.  It lay quietly on the mattress, showing no signs of being dangerous, and Peggy realized there was something written on it.  In block capitals, somebody had written: SORRY.

“Let me do it.  I have gloves,” said Peggy.  She pulled them out of her purse and put them on, then very carefully unfolded the top of the paper bag.  The first thing she saw inside was a leather folio… was that the one Lake had with her the other day?  Peggy pulled it out and opened it, and found it did indeed contain typed pages summarizing what was known about Dorothy Underwood.

“That’s mine,” said Russel.

“I expected as much,” Peggy put it on the bed and looked into the bag again.  “It appears your wallet and badge are in here, too, and a gun that I suspect is your service revolver.  We’ll have to get these dusted for prints.”

“Agreed,” Russel said.  “I’ll take them back to…”

“Ah-ah,” Peggy interrupted.  “I’ll take them back to the SSR and have it done there.  You’ve been taken off the case, remember?”

“Not officially yet,” he pointed out.

“But you’re sure it’s coming.”

Russel looked her over.  “Are you always this… intense, Agent Carter?”

“Always,” Peggy assured him, with a practiced deadpan.

Peggy called Daniel, and soon after the SSR arrived in force to take a proper, more thorough look at the room while Mrs. Lowe stood there frowning disapprovingly and threatening horrible fates on anybody who damaged the furniture.  Men covered everything with fingerprint powder and rapped on the floor, walls, and even the ceiling looking for secret hiding places.  They found none of the latter, but were able to obtain a reasonably good set of latent prints from the various drawers and the bedposts.  The size of these suggested they were a woman’s, or at least belonged to somebody with small hands.  There were also a couple of blonde hairs on the bedclothes.

Unfortunately, they had no suspect to compare these to.  Miss Lake probably knew that perfectly well.  They would have to actually capture her before they could prove anything.

While they were busy bagging the evidence, another policeman arrived, looking for Agent Russel.

“We’ve had a call from your office,” he explained.  “They want to talk to you.”

“I’m surprised it took them this long,” Russel sighed.  “All right, I’ll head over.”  He retrieved his hat from the hook on the back of the door of room four, and put it on.  “Good luck with the case, Agent Carter… and with Miss Underwood.”

“Thank you, Agent Russel,” said Peggy, and realized she actually felt a bit sorry for him.  It was true he’d been a terrible fool, but he’d never tried to deny that or pass the blame on to anybody else, and while he wanted to put off the consequences for as long as he could, he seemed to realize they were inevitable.  That was more than Peggy could say for a great many people she knew, male or female.  It was certainly more than she could say for herself in this mess with Dottie.

“Good luck with your wife,” she told him.

“Thanks.  I’ll need it,” he replied ruefully, and left the room.

Back in the SSR offices that evening, Peggy found an opportunity when nobody seemed to be watching, and brushed fingerprint dust over the mysterious envelope.  Several prints developed, and Peggy pulled out her own employee file so she could eliminate which ones were hers.   Quite a few of them were… but there were others that were not, and when she examined the actual page with the numbers, she found a print of the side of a hand where it had rested while drawing the star and circles, and a palm in the upper left corner where the other hand had steadied the page.

The prints were partial, and Peggy was not an expert… but the left thumb bore a set of four interrupted lines that looked very much like a thumbprint that had been taken from one of the drawer knobs in room four.

That seemed to settle it: the envelope had indeed been left by Miss Lake.  It had nothing to say, though, about the question of why.  Was this a trick, an attempt to send the SSR off on a wild goose chase so that Miss Lake could track down Dottie herself without their interference?  Or did the Soviets actually know where Captain America was?  And if they did, what were they planning to do about it?

[greenygreenland]

Birds of a Feather Pt 1: (platonic) Scrooge McDuck & Reader

-i usually do star wars buuuuuut I'm becoming multi-fandom

-the original was deleted

-thanks a LOT technology. Three hours of hard work, down the drain

-comments will really help my mood, so please tell me if you like this

-happy father's day

Important note: You’re cursed with immortality, so you’re forever the age 15

Summary:

Scrooge has been hiding a secret from you for over two decades. You two argue and your relationship becomes rocky.

A week before

(Y/n) was seething in anger. Her chest heaved and her fingers curled into fists so tight that Scrooge worried she’d draw blood. “Twenty--no, thirty something years, Uncle Scrooge. I can’t believe you’ve hid this from me since the day you found me half-dead! How--how dare you?” 

Scrooge couldn’t stand the way (Y/n) was looking at him. Her eyes were ablaze, filled with hatred and sorrow he could not place into words. Seeing (Y/n), the girl who wasn’t so little anymore, look at him like that made his battered heart burst into little pieces. “(Y/n), I didn’t mean to--”

“No, I don’t want to hear it! You told me my family was dead! You said that I was the only one who survived that assassination.” (Y/n) stuffed a pair of trousers into her suitcase and zipped it shut. “You lied to me for decades! Why?” Scrooge’s lips withered into a frown. “I was trying to protect you!”

“’Protect me’?” (Y/n) echoed. She heaved her suitcase onto its quad wheels with a scowl. “Oh yes, because the wee little duckling who knows martial arts needs help despite surviving countless near-death experiences, adventures as your side-kick, and defeating archenemies. Yes, yes, I’m powerless, aren’t I?” Scrooge’s brows knitted together. He knew full-well that (Y/n) could take care of herself. She survived being stuck on an island as well, being swallowed by a gold-hunting dragon, and so many other things that could have ended her life for good. 

But this? It wasn’t that Scrooge thought she was weak. No, no. It was only that he knew she couldn’t handle the truth. The Eider family were an absolute nightmare. Besides the fact that they were abusive, they were greedier than the greediest ducks, and more power-hungry than the worst of kings. They believed themselves to be the best of the best (which in itself was not a lie), but because of their arrogance, their enemies spread father than the deepest oceans.

Funnily enough, that was what got (Y/n)’s parents killed.

She was a smart lass, Scrooge gave her that, but the one thing she could never seem to do was let them go. During the years Scrooge hid the true story from her, she never gave up in researching and looking into what happened to her parents. It was as if that were the only reason she existed. 

And now that she knew the truth, Scrooge worried what she’d do when she actually got back in contact with her family. Although it looked like she forgave them for ruining her life, abusing her, and for being absolute blockheads, it was clear as daylight to him that she held a deep grudge against her family. “You’re not going back to them are you?” he quietly inquired. 

(Y/n)’s glare made him feel as though he were the dust on an old book. “Guess again, Scroogey.” His expression hardened and the air thickened like jam. “Lass, you are not going back there.” (Y/n) made her way to the door, a tight frown on her face. “I don’t have to listen to you, liar.” 

Scrooge’s jaw unhinged. “I’m your guardian!” 

“Only because my parents died.” 

His shoulders tensed and he slammed the door shut. “You listen here and you listen well!” He yanked (Y/n) away from the door. “Me lying will never compare to how terrible your family treated you. You want the truth so bad? Well, your rubbish aunt hired a hit man to assassinate your parents! There! That’s the truth! Are you happy now?” (Y/n) slapped Scrooge’s hand off her shoulder, but he didn’t pay any mind. 

The two had a silent stare-off that may have lasted for an hour if it weren’t for the knock on the door. “(Y/n)?” Scrooge eyed the door as (Y/n) made her way towards it. She cracked it open just enough to peek out at the little girl before her. “Sorry Webby, I can’t play right now. I’m a bit...”

“Busy?”

“Yeah.” (Y/n) offered an apologetic smile, to which Webby frowned and twiddled her thumbs to. “Okay then. I’ll be in my room.” She made her way down the hall. “Alone.” (Y/n) frowned. “I’m sorry Webby, promise I’ll make it up to you in two weeks time. How about we get ice cream?” Webby froze, eyes wide. “You mean it?”

“Promise.” (Y/n) said. Webby smiled. “Okay.” 

Once (Y/n) was sure Webby was gone, she closed the door behind her and turned on Scrooge with a dark glare. “I’m done arguing with you. I’m leaving.” she announced. Scrooge folded his arms across his chest and seized (Y/n) by the collar. “Oh no you don’t!” He reeled her away from the door and kicked her suitcase out of her hands. “You are staying right here.”

“I’m not a kid anymore Uncle Scrooge!”

“You’re fifteen. Still a kid.”

“If you add the years after I was cursed by you--”

“It was an accident!”

“--I’m about thirty-five years old.” (Y/n) finished. Scrooge ruffled her hair with a roll of his eyes and a light-hearted chuckle. “You’ll always be my kid in my eyes. I suggest you reschedule with Webby to tomorrow.” There was a good pause before he added, “You don’t need to see your sad excuse of a family anyway. They’re nothing but trouble.”

Present

“Lauchpad, please try to stay on the road!” exclaimed (Y/n). The large man-child sped through Duckburg as if he were in a NASCAR race. Speed-bumps and pot-holes caused (Y/n) to slam into the door and Scrooge at least fives times in a row, and since he had a long day of meetings, the old man’s patience ran thin. “Eyes on the road McQuack!”

“Sorry Mr. McDee, (N/n).” 

(Y/n) wanted to be nice to Launchpad, but her stomach did flip-flops and her head ached. She should have expected this, because it was always like this, but her being her always held onto the sliver of hope that Launchpad would miraculously learn how to not crash a car. Scrooge took a good look at (Y/n), a short sigh escaping his lips. “Every dent in this car is coming out of your salary!” 

“Absolutely. Hey, hear about that crazy snow storm on the Drake Barrier Reef? I’d hate to fly into that one. You see, I’m a bit of a pilot--”

Without looking up from his newspaper, Scrooge pressed a button on the door. The glass divider slowly rolled up and forced Launchpad to keep his eyes where they should be: on the road. 

(Y/n) lied down on the seat with a sluggish frown. “I’m just gonna...close my eyes.” Either Launchpad forgot how brakes work, or he had zero brain cells left, because he continued charging through the city until he came to the manor’s gates despite Scrooge’s protests. The limo came to a screeching stop. If it weren’t for Scrooge, (Y/n) would have flown into the windscreen. 

“Why aren’t we moving?” demanded Scrooge. (Y/n) harshly swallowed and sat up. The impatient beeping of the limo’s horn didn’t help her spinning head, and neither did Scrooge’s yelling as he hopped out of the car. “Hey!” he shouted. “Jettison that jalopy from my driveway, ya deadbeat!” 

Who was he even talking to?

“Donald Duck.” 

Oh. 

“Uncle Scrooge.”

Oh.

(Y/n) didn’t care to listen to the arguing. All she wanted was a good cup of tea and a bed. 

“Jettison that jalopy from my driveway this instant, ya deadbeat!”

“Oh, here we go again, giving orders like he’s the richest duck in the world!”

“I am the richest duck in the world, now move!”

(Y/n) couldn’t take the arguing anymore. Her head spun, she felt like she’d throw up, and she really craved that cuppa probably waiting for her in the dining room. “Can you both shut up?!” A pair of footsteps made their way towards the open car door. Through the disgustingly bright sunlight, and the splitting headache, (Y/n) made out the angry face of Donald Duck.

“What did you do to her Scrooge?!” he shouted. Scrooge let out a large gasp, a clear sign he was beyond offended. “What did I do to her?! It was Launchpad’s driving!” 

There was some more chatter before three identical children piled in the limo. (Y/n) didn’t care who they were, and it seemed like the feeling with Scrooge was mutual. When the gates opened and they arrived at the front door, Mrs. Beakely scooped (Y/n) in her arms and brought her to her room. “My, my, was it Launchpad’s terrible excuse for driving again?” 

(Y/n) wordlessly nodded as Beakley set her on her bed. She poured a nice warm cup of tea and handed it to the car-sick girl. “I suggest you rest for a little before you get caught up too much excitement again.” Mrs. B. said. 

A little rest, Mrs. B. said. It would be good for you, she said. Only after waking up did (Y/n) realise she had been drugged by the one-and-only housekeeper. It was obvious she knew (Y/n) wouldn’t get a wink of sleep because she had a tendency to lay awake in bed until three in the morning, but in her eyes, that did not justify her actions, especially after all the action she missed out on. 

That morning, she stood in the dining room, PJs on and mouth agape as three identical triplets bombarded her with an arsenal of crazy questions.

"Aren't you Uncle Scrooge's famous sidekick?"

"Isn't your family crazy rich and extremely prestige?"

"How do you still look the same after so many years?"

"Botox?"

"Water from the Fountain of Youth?"

"No, plastic surgery?"

(Y/n) sent Scrooge a silent look for help, to which he shook his head with a warm smile. "Boys, don't be rude." he merrily said. "She's just cursed is all." The blue one's eyes widened, and for a second, (Y/n) thought he had chocked on his scrambled eggs. "You're cursed? How?"

"Uh..."

"Actually, I have a better question, how did you meet Uncle Scrooge?"

(Y/n) swallowed a bite of toast. Her gaze nervously snapped towards the old duck, to which he folded his newspaper shut and said, "Alright, boys. That's enough. I think it's a bit early for all these questions, especially for her. She hates mornings." (Y/n) smiled a little. "Yeah, I do." She returned her focus on the faces of the three kids. Each had large, bright eyes, extremely large smiles, and loud personalities. Which also happened to remind her of...

(Y/n) leaned over to Scrooge's ear and subtly face-palmed. "They're Della's kids, aren't they?"

"You just figured that out now?"

"I was tired, what do you expect?"

Scrooge rolled his eyes. "Besides that, we're going to Atlantis tomorrow." he nonchalantly announced. (Y/n) almost spit out her tea. "Wait, you're serious?"

He nodded, a sparkle (Y/n) hadn't seen in a while shining in his eyes. (Y/n) couldn't help but feel grateful for Scrooge. If he hadn't stopped her from seeking out her family, she'd probably be dead. (Y/n) Eider didn't belong with a bunch of prestigious, scholarly ducks. She was an adventurer, an explorer, who walked through every corner of the Earth.

But most importantly, she was Scrooge McDuck's one and only side-kick.

[nobody-wants-ice-cream]

Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 7, The Day That Was.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

Run Boy Run

Extra Ordinary

Man on the Moon

Number Five

The Day That Wasn’t

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

I would also like to add that normally you wouldn’t watch a show this way. I am purposefully looking for mistakes, easter eggs, and other things that we’re not supposed to notice. I am watching not with the goal of entertainment, but for analysis. So most of the things that I sin, I am seeing for the first time.

Also, no I can’t do better. I am in no way qualified to give this level of criticism about anything.

[Look out for the fic challenge at the end! I’m tagging @tehmoonofficial @seven-misfits @princenewton @tua-koffee and anyone else who wants to try it. Tag other people if you would like!]

The Day That Was

The use of “One is the Loneliest Number” by Three Dog Night implies that this is Luther’s birth. I know that that isn’t what they’re trying to convey so this is a very weird song choice. It would be way too on the nose if it was Luther, but it would fit so well. In fact, before Pogo said that it was the culmination of a normal pregnancy, I thought it was Luther when I was first watchin it.Point is, scoring is important. +1

No one is attending to this mother which is why she dies. Seriously, if just one person in that room was with Harold’s mother then any problems would have been noticed far earlier. I know this show likes to kill off women to further the plot, but this one happens to be excessively stupid. +2

There’s a woman in scrubs who doesn’t appear to be sterile in the room. Even Harold’s father is sterile. For those who don’t know, I’m talking about a lack of germs. +1

Harold playing with the Umbrella Academy action figures is adorable and makes sense. However, why the hell would his abusive father buy these for him? Something doesn’t add up. Where did he get these from? Did he steal them? In that case, stealing is bad. Sin still stands. +1

Dr. Terminal better appear in season 2. -1

Ben’s action figure includes the horror. This makes sense, but then how did Ben pose for this? Did he just sort of stand like that and let the sculptor take liberties with what the horror looked like? How were these modeled and designed? +1

“Put those stupid dolls away and go get me a beer” obvious abusive father is obvious. +7

Also, abusive fathers. +7

I didn’t notice that Harold’s house is the same as Leonard’s house when I first watched it because of the change in angle and lighting. This is clever. -1

Has anyone taken a good look at the Klaus action figure? That thing looks ridiculous! +1

Harold stops to look at a comic now and not later when his Dad isn’t demanding a beer. Then again, I am questioning the logic skills of a thirteen-year-old. So this sin is once again for the abusive dick for for not letting Harold be a child. +1

Seriously, where did Harold get all this stuff? Merch is expensive. And so are suit jackets. And tape. And a whole bunch of his supplies. +1

Seance seems pretty popular. Good. I love Klaus. But there is no indication that he did anything during missions, so why do these people love him? Show me his charisma or something? Give young Klaus a scene that shows why the people love him. +1

Are these barriers only there after missions? And if this is normal enough that there are barriers, then why aren’t there more people hounding the academy when Five runs away for example? How famous are these kids? +1

Harold you poor child. He even packed a bag and everything. Reggie is not better than your abusive father. Sin for Harold’s father and for Reggie. +2

No one stops Harold from jumping over the barrier. Not even the other fans saying something like “dude don’t do that”. Nothing. Who is enforcing these barriers? +1

Luther walked out of the car first and now he’s behind Allison. Since when does Luther have Five’s power?+1

Allison looks really uncomfortable. How many grabby fans has this young girl had to deal with? +1

Eden Cupid plays this really well. -1

How many grabby fans has Eden Cupid had to deal with?? +1

Reggie orders Harold behind the barricades. So is it Reggie enforcing it? Or what? +1

If it’s the academy enforcing it through Reggies orders then why didn’t Diego, Klaus, or Ben stop Harold? Or does this not matter because Luther was in front of them? This is confusing. Where is everybody? +1

Reggie is a dick. “You have no power”. Is that really the best way to deal with the situation? A better man may have said something like “You may not have powers but that doesn’t mean you aren't special. Run along now.” But then again, this is the same dick that drugged his daughter because he couldn’t control her powers so yeah. Fuck you, Reggie. +3

In the wide shot, Harold’s suitcase disappeared and some policemen magically appeared out of thin air. +1

Why are all these people laughing at Harold? After what Reggie just said there should be outrage? What the hell, people? +1

Some of these people include grown ass adults. +1

Reggie manhandles Harold and no one questions this. +1

Second hand embarrassment and shame. I really feel for this kid. -1

Where are the little umbrella mounts that the action figures are supposed to be standing on in this establishing shot of Harold’s collection? We see them on the collection in the academy. Is this supposed to imply that Harold stole them? I am confused. +1

We can see a piece of paper that has the words Klaus and Harold written on it in different colored crayon. Set designers, you win this one. -1

Why are the action figures going by their names instead of their hero names? It’s been established based on the posters the people had behind the barricades that “The Seance” and “Spaceboy” exist. So why the real names? If it’s because Harold is desperate for friends then the sin also applies. +1

In a close shot we can see that Harold must have taken those platforms off and glued them to this construction paper based on a weird deformity on Five’s foot. Sin still stands because Harold ruined those. In fact, I’ll add another sin, because this doesn’t explain how he separated them. If it was an exacto knife then sin for letting a child handle that. +1

Harold makes collages of the academy kids faces. Cute and a good set design choice. -1

You can see the moment when Harold decides to kill his father. That is some great acting, Jesse Noah Gruman. -1

You know, for all we rag on Harold for killing his abusive father, there are a surprising amount of fics in which the Hargreeves siblings kill their abusive father. Either we’re cool with killing abusive fathers or we aren’t, fandom. +1

Speaking of, we often use “cool motive, still murder” to describe this scene. But no one has a problem with the amount of people Five killed. +1

Harold got twelve years in jail even though there were signs of abuse. He had a bruise on his face! Any lawyer should have been able to get Harold out of jail. Even a public defender can’t deny this evidence. Harold should have pled guilty and he would have gotten a lighter, if no sentence at all. [I am not a lawyer, do not take this as legal advice. This is based on various crime shows and some law youtube channels. Also, don’t kill people.] +1

Why was Harold following Klaus? Popular theories include wanting to kill him or use him the way he uses Vanya. I am sinning this because it remains unclear. +1

The Leonard/Harold reveal is beautifully executed. This is how you do a plot twist. -1

Reggie refers to Klaus by name and by 00.04 in his journal. Why the inconsistency? If you know his name, why not use it all the time, Reggie? +1

In 2001, the kids were twelve. Reggie locked Klaus in the mausoleum as young as 12 and probably younger if the credit for 8 year old Klaus is anything to go by. +4

Reggie’s notes say that Klaus is resistant to this. No fucking shit, a child is resistant to facing their greatest fears with no support. +4

Title screen is on the umbrella in Reggie’s journal. Classy. -1

Five tosses Allison’s coffee behind him when he’s done with it. This goes back to his Apocalypse days, but you would think that sort of thing was frowned upon in the Commission. Or was really obvious during any missions he had as an assassin. Why is he doing this? +1

At the end of episode 6, Five slurps the coffee but here there is no slurp after “Who the hell is Harold Jenkins?”. +1

Leonard hears Five saying that he [Harold] is responsible for the apocalypse. This does not alarm Leonard in any way and he continues stealing Hargreeves’s action figure. +1

Also, Harold Jenkins happens to be in the academy right now as they’re talking about trying to find him. Choke on that irony. +1

Repeat scene shows no indication that the information Harold just got changed his reactions in any way. You would think that he would show a little fear or something? +1

Five isn’t treating his injury despite the fact that it’s causing him obvious pain and he has access to Grace and an infirmary because plot? They could easily have this chat in the infirmary while Five is getting stitched up. Five has been shown treating his injuries and does seem to possess more than half a brain cell, so not taking care of the shrapnel wound is a weird deviation in his character. +3

Speaking of brain cells, thank goodness Allison has one because she is the one asking relevant questions here. -1

Klaus and Diego are still pissed at Five for getting drunk while Hazel and Cha Cha attacked the mansion. Good job with the consistency in character motivation, writers. -1

“Temps Commission.” Maybe season 2 will give us the Temps Aeternalis. +1

Aidan Gallagher’s delivery is okay, but not stellar. I think it’s the tone that’s off. I think I’m judging him too harshly. This is hard to deliver because it’s an exposition dump seven out of ten episodes in. So this sin goes to the writers for making these paragraphs- not lines, paragraphs- that deliver information the viewer already knows. At this point, cut the scene short or show Vanya and Leonard again so we can skip the second Commission lecture. +1

And the reactions that Diego, Allison, and Luther have are so varied because they have such different levels of understanding. Allison, who knows the least, asks “What do you mean, protect time and space?” This level of info dumping this late is dumb. +1

“I look like a thirteen year old boy.” No you don’t. Real thirteen year olds do not look like fifteen year old Aidan Gallagher. For example, look up what Gallagher looked like when he was actually thirteen. +1

“Klaus talks to the dead” oh so we’re just stating the obvious now. Who wrote this scene? +1

How does Five know Claire’s name? Just one shot of a magazine in his apocalypse bunker was all we needed. The magazine that says Patrick and Claire are doing just fine without Allison would have made perfect sense. +1

If we don’t get Five and Claire meeting at some point istg. Sin until they meet.+1

Once again, Luther the moon and the apocalypse are connected, just not in the way you think. Reggie, you suck. +1

“Klaus you’re with me.” Diego and Klaus make a great team. -1

Five’s face when Klaus says he’s feeling under the weather. Considering Five’s injury, this makes sense for the character. -1

Five gives that look to Klaus. Five, you’re hiding a life threatening wound for no reason. You don’t have room to judge. +1

The old man walk looks ridiculous. Five is so obviously injured and Allison and Luther, who watch as Klaus, Diego, and Five walk away, don’t notice this odd walk. +1

We follow Hazel instead of Cha Cha because their story in this episode isn’t affected by Five’s time travel decision. However, the only part of this story we need is the part at the end of the episode. +1

Diego is driving, Five has shotgun, and Allison is in the back. They totally fought over who would sit where. That scene would have been way more interesting than the Hazel and Cha Cha repeat scene. Also, I kind of want to write about that fight now. You know Five wanted to drive. And that when Diego insisted on driving so he and Allison wouldn’t get in trouble for letting a minor drive or something like that, Allison and Five fought over the passenger's side seat. Well adjusted or not, fighting over that seat is what siblings do. +1

Allison, you could just waltz in there and ask for it. Don’t suggest that plan if you aren’t going to do that. +1

Five’s power or Allison’s power would be very useful, yet Diego choses to get the file himself. This wastes valuable time. And Five is okay with that. +1

Five refers to his powers as “blink” not “jump” which is what the fandom has been calling it. +1

Five has not slept at all in a couple days. And he’s making decisions about the end of the world. +1

Diego “made a call. That’s what a leader does.” But the call he makes is fucking stupid. This is a grab the thing and get out mission. Two people in the academy have powers that would work wonderfully for this type of mission. And they happen to be right there. Even with Allison refusing to use her power, it’s stupid to not have Five just blink in and grab it. Diego is a shitty leader. +1

Beeman just tells Diego that he is the prime suspect in Patch’s murder. This is so dumb on so many levels. Sigh. +1

Beeman has already said shit that would make him lose his job. At this point he’s arguing with Diego to pad the episode’s run time. +1

Whoever did Emmy Raver-Lampman’s makeup for this scene screwed up her brows really bad. Or maybe just her brow highlight is messed up. Or the blending on her eyeshadow. +1

Five is just sort of standing there and leaning against the wall. This is supposed to be another hint that he’s injured but it just looks stupid. +1

Allison’s heartfelt message to Vanya shows remorse and a genuine want for connection. -1

See! This cut where Allison doesn’t explain to Five and Diego who Leonard is because the viewer already knows and this can therefore happen off screen is good! Use this more if you’re going to do episodes like this. -1

Luther turns to alcohol because he doesn’t feel like he has any support. I’m sad now. Poor Luther! -1

And my sympathy disappears when Luther starts choking Klaus. That is some fucking bullshit. +1

I understand that Luther is drunk and not capable of complex decisions right now, but this seems excessively cruel. I think this is on the writers and not necessarily on Luther himself. +1

Why isn’t Ben seeing this? Later on, it’s like Ben didn’t see what Luther did here. This sin makes more sense later on in the episode. +1

Klaus is genuinely trying to make Luther feel better after Luther just choked him. Klaus is a good brother. -1

Klaus suggests going to find Allison. It’s like he knows what happened last episode. Oh, show. And yes, you can argue that Klaus knows that Luther and Allison were close. Then my counter argument would be that Klaus knows Allison is off saving the world. Yes, helping Luther is important, but Klaus can do it. Klaus needs more faith in himself. +1

Luther’s smile when Klaus calls him Number One and starts quoting poetry at him. “O captain, my captain.” -1

This immediately transitions into crying. My poor babies. +1

Klaus attempts to say “that’s not true” but can’t because he knows that Reggie is the type of person to send someone to the moon so he doesn’t have to look at them. Reggie is a dick. +7

Luther looks so lost and broken and sad. Tom Hopper, you asshole. I am actually crying a little bit. I’ll take a sin off because Tom Hopper made me feel emotions. -1

Robert Sheehan is an excellent actor. -1

Luther shoves Klaus out of the way with no regard to where he lands. What if Klaus’s head hit that furniture! +1

The Hazel and Cha Cha scenes would have been stronger if we left them in the last episode. Maybe one or two establishing things to show that they aren't affected by the time change and that’s it. All we needed was the order to not terminate Five and one of the messages. That’s it. +1

Hazel has a birdwatching book which shows that he wants to learn about Agnes’s interests. Cute. -1

They are trying to imply some kind of relationship between Hazel and Cha Cha! Cha Cha having feelings for Hazel doesn’t make sense. +1

“So do most serial killers and mass murderers. I mean look at him” “Thanks.” The delivery of “thanks” always bothered me. It could have used a little more sarcasm. +1

Diego doesn’t wait for Allison or Five to open the door. Nor does he let them offer suggestions. +1

Diego doesn’t even test the doorknob. Dumbass. +1

Diego seems like one of the competent siblings until he does this mission with Five and Allison, who have the family brain cells. This is amusing, but also makes me question the badass Diego moments. +1

If we don’t get more Five and Allison in season 2 imma riot. These characters work so well together. +1 

The way they make fun of Diego together is peak sibling culture. -1

“You need to see this.” Please just stop giving Allison these bullshit lines. +1

Five’s run is weird. He’s lifting his knees really high. This is one of those things that I shouldn’t have noticed. +1

Bottom left poster. Klaus hit the woah sixteen years too early. +1

Harold had time to scratch their faces before going to jail or Leonard did this at some point as an adult. Creep. +1

He also mangled the action figures even further. +1

Five isn’t looking so hot because the plot demands it right now. He was perfectly fine cracking jokes with Allison earlier. +1

Looking closer at the wound, we can see that Five not taking care of it right away is total fucking bullshit. That looks serious and like it could get infected easily. Five, who grew up in an apocalypse, would know to take care of shit like that. If he didn’t then he would have died in the Apocalypse.+1

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Diego would be excellent at cinema sins. +1

Five doesn’t answer this question because the answer is “The writers needed a convenient way to get me out of the picture for a couple hours.” +1

Harold’s father took him fishing. I don’t want to know why. +1

“We don’t have to stay here. We can just get a shitty motel or something.” Or ya know, go back to your apartment, Vanya. Or is Vanya’s apartment like Five’s injury in that it only exists when the plot needs it. +1

Off topic, but why is Vanya talking about chord progressions with her beginner violin student. Chords and violin don’t go together when you first start learning. This is a weird example. +1

Leonard is a manipulative bastard. He knows exactly what to say to make Vanya bend to his will. +1

We aren’t even halfway through the episode and I have been doing this for over two hours. This says a lot about the kinds of sins this episode has. Right now we’re at the end of page 6. +1

Vanya followed Leonard to a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere. They’ve known each other for less than a week. I wouldn’t trust some of the people I’ve known for years the way Vanya trusts Leonard. +1

Hazel has known Agnes for less than a week and now he wants to run away with her. +1

Agnes is willing to run away with Hazel despite knowing him for less than a week. +1

Hazel and Agnes are using the “Life is short” thing, which it is, especially with the impending apocalypse, but that doesn’t change that they’ve known each other for less than a week. +1

“Her job’s her life.” so why don’t you show that, show? Cha Cha’s motivations make no sense. +1

Hazel and Agnes theme! I love that piece. -1

The way Hazel is holding her looks really funny. I am amused. -1

Ben pressuring Klaus to help Luther despite all the physical harm Luther did to Klaus. I am sinning this again. Why didn’t Ben see this? Or does he just not care? This is either a sin for the show for not remembering where Ben is or a sin for Ben for not caring about his brother. +1

Ben creates a shadow but he is supposed to be invisible. I don’t think that’s how light works. Is Klaus the only person that can see Ben’s shadow? Is Klaus sober enough that he’s starting to make Ben corporeal? How does this work? +1

Right now if anyone looked in that alley, Klaus would look fucking crazy. +1

The guy walking past doesn’t care that Klaus is talking to nobody right now. +1

“You weren't ready to die violently at a young age” yeah. Seventeen, based on the portraits. Why does Ben’s ghost not look bloody? And why does he look like he’s in his late 20s? Ben should still look seventeen right? If Justin Min, age 29, is meant to be playing a 17 year old, then I have some issues. +1

Can Ben sweat? +1

The “if you were in trouble” line is delivered really well. Nice. -1

Ben’s tough love is more of a pep talk now. I like this version of Ben. He’s a little misguided, but he sort of gets the spirit. Heh spirit, Ben, get it? -1

“We should have taken him to the hospital” Allison would be excellent at cinema sins. +1

“We gotta get the shrapnel out.” Yeah, but that is not priority one right now. Is there any pressure on the wound right now? +1

This repeat scene with Diego and Grace makes sense because it’s at a different time. -1

“Seven bars, three strip joints, and a laundromat.” Why the laundromat? +1

Ben’s shadow is even more pronounced now. +1

Convenient rave girl talking to herself about Luther with a good description is convenient. +1

“Holy Shit” said in unison. Nice. -1

Ben and Klaus wouldn’t know about Luther’s monkey transformation, so the reaction checks out but not the description. Maybe “big” was why they decided to check it out? +1

Rave girl thinks Luther is a furry. This is funny. -1

Luther offers Klaus drugs. That’s nice, I guess. -1

Offering your newly sober brother drugs. +2

Ben is honestly a life coach from hell. “Stay strong don’t give into temptation.” Remember your mantras. Meditate. Drink lots of water. +1

Though, that does make sense. A dead guy would be a shitty life coach. +1

What’s with the weird light on the pill that Klaus threw? Is that a secondary power? Being able to find drugs? +1

No one steps on or trips on Klaus, who is crawling around on the floor in a room full of high/drunk/whatever people. +1

Klaus’s flashbacks. Putting my boy through trauma. +1

Dave turns into the pill because the pill symbolises everything holding Klaus back from summoning Dave. Symbolism. -1

Grace is treating Five’s shrapnel wound in his room instead of the infirmary. +1

“Receptionist at her music school” wait. Vanya has another job teaching music? She has three jobs? How in the hell did she have time to do any of this stuff? +1

Allison’s face when Diego says Luther was right. That was amazing. Emmy Raver-Lampman, you genius. -1

The City has no people around right now other than Diego, Allison, and the cops. +1

“Why would you ask that about me?” because you carry pointy things and throw them into people, Diego. That’s why Allison asks if the police are right about you murdering someone. +1

Allison would be excellent at cinema sins. She reiterated my last point. +1

Why did they send that many cops to go arrest one guy? Did they expect the entire academy to fight them? +1

“You killed a cop, asshole.” Rodriguez did the police academy teach you nothing? You can’t say shit like that to a suspect? +1

Finally, someone reads Diego his Miranda rights. Doing the bare minimum is impressive for these cops. +1

Diego, you edgy bastard. Spitting on the ground? Great. Make these people even more pissed off then they already are. +1

Vanya’s power is mostly destructive and Leonard should know this based on the book. So why is he trying to get her to summon a boat? Or destroy a boat? This doesn’t make any sense. +1

“I watched everything my brothers and sister could do ruin their lives.” The Umbrella Academy in a nutshell. +1

Also, if you saw this, then why the fuck did you want powers, Vanya? +1

“Do I stare really hard? Am I supposed to point my fingers?” Actual conversation Ellen Page had with the director somehow made it into the show. +1

This scene is so underrated. It’s so funny watching the music swell and nothing happen. -1

“I look and I feel ridiculous. I have no idea how they did this stuff with a straight face.” -1

“You are so invested in this.” Yeah, girl. Red flag. +1

Convenient burning not obscuring the words of the “terminate Hazel” message is convenient. +1

Do we really need the repeat of Cha Cha getting the message? +1

Cha Cha doesn’t notice Hazel behind the curtain despite being a trained assassin. This is why Five was the best. +1

Hazel doesn’t kill Cha Cha. +1

Netflix subtitles have Ben saying “Oh shit, Luther” when it’s clearly Klaus saying that line. +1

Klaus’s desire to help his brother is stronger than his need for drugs. -1

For whom the bell tolls? The bell tolls for Klaus. +1

Little Girl on a Bike God takes her lines directly from the comics. -1

She plays the pronoun game with Klaus despite Her being all knowing. Or She does this to be an asshole. +1

The barber shop looks like a little barn from the outside. Clever misdirection. -1

“Nite Owl Barber Shop” -1

“Barber banter may offend” no kidding. With Reggie working there, need I say more. -1

The pictures of Luther, Diego, Reggie, Dave, Five, and possibly young Ben on the wall. -1

Five’s hair looks really dumb in the photo aslkdj;gaf. -1

Artful close up shot of Robert Sheehan’s face. -1

Reggie is a dick. “What in God’s name took you so long?” Maybe he didn’t want to see you, asshole. +1

Was Colm Feore actually shaving Robert Sheehan? +1

I am going to sin Reggie being a dick in advance here so I don’t have to sin every line. +20

Klaus brings up an interesting point. How did Reggie know about the apocalypse? +1

Klaus is crying when Reggie says that he killed himself to bring them all back together. On some level, Klaus cares for this man. Empathy. -1

Just as Reggie starts to say something important, he disappears because of course he does. If the characters actually spoke to each other about important things then there would be no plot. +1

Klaus was dead and now he’s not. Why didn’t he wake up in the apocalypse? +1

Kenny’s mom sighting. She’s at the rave. +1

Leonard pays these guys to beat him up. Did he also give them a script? +1

Vanya’s powers activate when the rain starts but only become visible when she fears for Leonard’s life. Good choice. -1

Hazel doesn’t kill Cha Cha. Killing her would help him out in so many ways, yet he doesn’t do it. Or remove his tracker. Or her tracker. Or anything. +1

“I’m in love” You’ve known her for a couple days at best. +1

“Wake up and smell the coffee.” This is part of the reason why I headcanon Five’s coffee addiction came from the Commission. +1

Hazel can’t bring himself to kill Cha Cha after she threatens him and the woman he “loves” because of years of friendship in a job he hated? That she loved? I’m confused. +1

Allison is going after Vanya alone. She is going to this cabin in the woods alone. Horror Movie 101, Allison. +1

Now Ben looks concerned. All it took was Klaus’s literal death. +1

Luther and the rave girl are both too high to consent? I don’t like the vibes. +1

Diego is in jail because of his own stupidity. +1

The police didn’t give him back his sling. The man is walking around with a gunshot wound, assholes. +1

The shot of the eye before the camera focuses on Five symbolizes Five putting the apocalypse before everything. -1

Vanya looks so scared in the hospital. Excellent acting. -1

The shot of the eye also reminds us that the eye exists at all which makes the eye reveal more dramatic. -1

Overall Review:

Okay, so if episode 5 is where the viewer truly learns what’s going on, then episode 7 is when everything truly comes together. All the loose plot threads fit themselves together in this episode. In fact, you could argue that the Leonard/Harold eye reveal is the most important reveal after the whole Vanya has powers reveal. The eye makes sense now. 

You know what? I challenge all the fic writers who read this to write a “watching the show” style fic, but only using this episode. Drop this episode on them in the middle of one of the early episodes and then have them try to stop the apocalypse based on it. Tag me when you’ve posted it and/or gift it to cherriesareneat on ao3. I will probably be writing my own version of this at some point. 

There are a ton of great moments in this episode. The important beats being the Harold/Leonard reveal, Five’s injury, Luther at the rave, Klaus’s death, Reggie’s reveal, Vanya’s powers reveal, and the eye reveal. These were mostly well executed with the exception being Five’s injury. 

Also, let me know if you prefer the long sins/short analysis style I’ve been trying out recently. 

Total: 152

Sentence: What is character motivation? Where am I? I am confused.

[staycatcher]

Cursed 001

Member: Kim Seungmin x Femme Reader (she/her) (Jisung is also in this, we love wingpeople)

Au: (Dorky/Pure) Frat Boy! Seungmin x Baddie! Reader + Unexpected Soulmate AU [in the same universe as Anguish, no need to read it though!]

Genre: Crack, Angst, Fluff? (she’s all over the place, partner🤠)

Rated 14? for too much swearing, kind-of-stranger danger, getting into mentioned kind-of-stranger’s car (don’t do what y/n did!!), suggestive themes & jokes, hangover & leftover tipsiness, cringe, promiscuous bisexual reader, nothing explicit though!! Also, Jisung is too much I’m sorry

Word Count: 4.1k

Notes: special thanks to @staytion-nine for being a bro and reading & critiquing my full shitty drafts and @strayneoculturekids & @hyunjinssmile for thinking my crack parts were good & somewhat funny way back when I wrote them ilyssssm🤗💞💛

ps, I hope you readers liked/found my easter eggs!!🥴

“Your heart began to sing, sing triumphantly as if you broke some sort of curse- Curse? Wait, hold up. Hold the fuck up. I think he’s my soulmate?! But I can’t possibly have one-”

Cursed series 1/?-  ~001~  😈🤓😳~

Growing up, not a single day passed without your single mother reminding you that meeting your soulmate wasn't going to happen for you. The odds were not at all in your favor, not her’s, not your grandmother’s and not even your great grandmother’s mom; being the youngest girl of the youngest in the family made you carry such a burden. The streak that your family had going on for generations was too strong to break at this point. It’d be a miracle and a half if you ever heard of your soulmate for a fraction of a second. You started to accept by the time you learned how to read, that a life with a soulmate was frankly not in the cards for you. 

To say you were completely and utterly blind-sighted when you met your soulmate, would be the understatement of the century. You lived your whole life with no fear or any expectations of long lasting relationships whether it’s with a soulmate or not. You lived the life you knew many people with soulmates or obsessions with commitment couldn’t live. You lived a life of freedom, focused on yourself. 

Now, it's been three months at this university; three months, and you already have a reputation that precedes you. Contrary to popular belief, you don't like the attention. Yet somehow the spotlight seems to follow you. Though, you would argue you weren’t as charismatic as you were careless. Your carelessness seemed to be your charm and charming you seemed to be.

A groan tore out from your throat when as stretched over to snatch your boots. Jelly legs hobbling all over the place as you scrambled to tug them on, stubbornly not zipping down the zipper which only made it harder for you in the long run. Once on, you trudge on forward, not giving a shit if things were inside out or not, all that mattered to you was going back to sleep in your own bed. You have to remain careful though. You don’t want to go too fast and have stomach acid erupt out of you in aggravation, ruining the Sorority’s carpet and your morning. So, you watched each and every wobbly step as you did your best to navigate your way out of the crowded, trashed halls of the post-party filth. Fortunately, it seemed you’ve risen before anyone else, no conscious creatures for you to deal with. 

The clock struck six o’clock as you strut down Greek row, your steps more firm now, waking you up more with each step. However, waking up meant more hangover symptoms, though you weren’t exactly sober. You made it about four more clumsy steps down the sidewalk before a car slows down next to you. This has happened to you more times than you can count, but never when the birds were fucking chirping. You huff out in irritation, walking faster, thus, less firm as you tried to remain calm. 

Who the hell pulls up to you when it’s fucking sunrise?! Unbelievable. 

You only make it two more steps before the right next to you. Even though you tell yourself not to, your head swivels to look at the driver on instinct. He looks vaguely familiar, you’ve seen those cheeks somewhere but his name is lost on you. You acknowledge him with a questioning look as he rolls down the window.

“Want a ride?” He offers like you’ve known him for ten years and your pets were best friends. You were expecting a catcall but his voice was full of awkward sincerity and a bit of reluctance that couldn’t be faked.     

“I thought chivalry was de-ad.” You choked, giving a nudge with your words to test his sincerity.

“I thought you liked girls more and don’t believe in it anyway.” He dished back. Okay, fair. This guy’s a real one. 

“Touché... Ohhh what the helll-” You huffed, “I’ll take it.” You vaguely recognize him and he seems to know you too so what can hurt; that’s at least how you look at it in the buzzed moment. 

His unimpressive car comes to a smooth stop, you hear the doors unlock and you sluggishly yanked the door open and groan as you slide in, kindly ignoring the mess because you’re not much better. 

 “Did you not party last ni’?” You blurted, looking over at him with a dry smile. As you do, you can really take him in. His dark, messy hair and his cute over-expressive face, topped with a pair of doughy cheeks. Despite the cuteness, there’s not a doubt in your mind this is some frat boy on the college team, though you’re not even sure what team is in season right now. One thing was for sure though, his guns were proudly out of a cut out muscle-t like a living, breathing fuckboy starter pack. Infuriatingly, he pulled it off, he looked too attractive for this time, on the weekend especially. With all that being said, he seriously looks like the kind of guy that should be as fucked up as you are right now. And yet, here he is, behind the wheel looking as sober as a slice of bread.

“Nah,” He starts, getting his foot off the brake and turning back into the road, “me and my soulmate stayed in ‘cuz coach is making practice earlier than usual.” 

Well, that train left the station. “Ahh, that-that's too bad.” You heard yourself pettily trail off. 

“Nah, ‘zall good. I think coach is taking it out on us ‘cuz his wife found out he’s doin’ drugs and gambling again-“

“Do ya have any friends like you?” You blurted out again. 

“Huh??” 

“Do ya got any friends that do things like this?” You grumbled, resisting the urge to facepalm at yourself. Fucking hell, Y/n.

“That go to practice this early? Yehh. The whole fucking basketball te-“ 

“No!” You hiss, head pulsing, his voice is too goddamn loud. “Gentlemen!” clarifying and sulkily leaned your head against the cool window. 

“Ohhh!!~” Then he belts out laughing like a blaring fire alarm, making your entire brain rattle.

“Shhhh!” As you turn to glare at him, you realize your turn was coming up. “Wait!! Turn here!!” 

He hissed and stepped harshly on the breaks. “This one?” 

“Yeah!!-“ it was already too late when you unnecessarily clarified, so he had to turn around and go turn in again. Thank god the streets were dead at this date and time. You’re sure he broke at least four traffic laws.

“Shit, man!! You can’t say that and then expect me to make the turn, I got too excited!!” He was beaming, far too excited for your dumb question and not at all concerned about his chaotic driving. 

“What the fuuck?!?! You’ got a soulmate-“

“No, dumbass!!” He whines like you just missed the best play in the whole game, too bad there aren’t instant replies for day to day conversations. “I have a bro who we’ve been trying to get laid.~” And now he makes the turn, good job buddy. 

“Okay, two stops from now you’re gonna turn left.” It is then that you realize the last part of what he just said. “Huh? Li-like frat bro?”

“Yeah, dude. He’s so pissy I don’t think his hand is doin’ it for him anymore.” The dude laughed at his own joke, elbowing you in the side. Normally you would have joined in and punched him but for some reason, your little fucked up heart started to warm up hearing about this cute frat boy.

“Ahhhh.” And then you laughed a little too late, his wingmanning ass didn’t notice.

“Yeah! And he says books are better than pussy so that’s how we know he’s becoming a lost cause. We’re placing our bets that he won’t get it on until he finds his soulmate.” 

“What a swee-eetheart.~” You hiccupped with dazed eyes and chapped smile. You had to admit, you were endeared. You never heard about a dorky, innocent fraternity boy before, and you never would have thought that it would appeal to you.

“Is it this one or the next one?” 

“This one. So whoo’z this friend of yours-“ Unfortunately you were caught off by a ringtone blasting at the fullest volume making your brain wail in pain, for the second fucking time this morning. 

He just snickers. “Sorry, gotta answer this… Yuh~?” You just huffed and closed your eyes, deflating a little bit. 

“Seungmin?!?”

For some unknown reason, that name made you jolt back up into your seat. ‘Seungmin’, why does that sound so familiar?! 

“Well, speak of the devil!!~” He got too excited and looked at you, and gives you an over-enthused wink. You’re assuming this is the frat bro. “Your car won’t start??~~” This dude, you still don’t quite remember the name of, was really playing this up. For possibly the same unknown reason, him talking to this dude has your full attention. Normally you’d eavesdrop half-heartedly but this time your whole heart started to beat a way it never has before, begging you to soak up as much of this half conversation as possible. 

“Of course I’ll drive my wittle brother!!~... -fuck off a few days totally does count!!- Whatever!! Anyway, fair warning, I became a fucking uber this morning, I’m driving this girl too so prepare yourself!!... Shhh, it’s not a joke! And she’s really hot; make sure your heart and dick are ready.” 

You were about to beat this dude before you vaguely heard the muffled voice on the other line chew him out for you. You couldn’t hold in your smile before you realized; even though you were abnormally giddy, now is not the goddamn time to meet this kid. You looked like you were run over by three different military-grade vehicles and you’re more than sure you had lipstick marks from last night smeared in various places all over you. But most importantly, you were in a limbo of drunk and hungover. You needed way more rest and sustenance before you should interact with anyone of importance. You opened your mouth to scream at him but you were cut off yet again. 

“...Yeah, yeah. Anyways, I’ll turn around now, just for you.~ I’m pretty sure we’re close to her dorm but who cares how late I’m gonna be for practice! I’m making shit happen! See ya in a sec, muah!” If you weren’t high key starting to panic, you would’ve laughed at this dude’s unending ridiculousness. There is no way in hell you’re gonna meet this familiar stranger‘s friend that he’s setting you up with at six fucking a.m. in a frankly disgusting state.

“Do not turn around or I swear to fucking Rupaul-“

“No can do, bro. Besides, you seemed interested in him so why not!?! Be grateful! I’m gonna have to run double the fuckin laps cuz a’ this.”

‘“Why not’?!! I just got outta’ a stranger’s bed and I’m still drunk and somehow hungover too and my dorm is just around the corner-“

“Listen; bros before hoes. Frat legacy.” And with that, he chuckled as he turned the car around for the second time today. You take back the gentleman comment you gave him earlier, he’s a pile shit. 

“I’m gonna fucking jump out of the car-“ you groaned with a bluff, tugging at your smeared face and he smugly locked the doors before you could finish. “Cmonnn!~ It’s too fucking early for this shit, man! Why didn’t I just keep walking or just stayed-“

“I'm doing you a favor!~”

“Dropping me off when and where I asked you to is doing me a favor! That’s literally why I’m in your messy ass car that smells like rancid fuckin’ cheesecake in the first place!!”

“Hey, now you’re just being mean!”

You groaned and glared out the window, opting to ignore him now. This argument had you sobering up. This just really wasn’t it. You resisted the urge to pull down the mirror and see how bad you really looked but, you would rather not know how bad it is. Knowing your past morning afters, you’ve looked a hell of a lot cuter every other time. 

It seems like you’re just gonna have to grin and bear it and let this one go. There’s plenty of bitches in the sea. Bitches that never made you heart skipped like this before- and without you even meeting them-

All you could think about how embarrassing and fucked up this whole thing he’s pulling is as you glare at the passing sidewalks and cars parked at the side of the roads. You wish the passing textured and crumbly neighborhood sidewalks could swallow you up. It’s not often that you felt so burdened at an awaiting social encounter these days. You hated this.

“And we’re here!!” He stops and proudly puts the car into park. “Okay, Siri, call ‘Noodle Bitchass’.” 

The fuck-

-“I’m sorry. I didn’t get that. Would you like me to search the web for ‘Nude space app’?”-

“Ughhhhh. Fuck you!! I said, ‘Call~ Nooo-DiLL BiiiiTCh AAAssss’~~!!!”

 -“Okay. Calling Noodle Bitchass nerd emoji, middle finger emoji in medium tan’.”- You were about to cry in shocked laughter but the guy answered too soon so you had to snort into your hand and curl in on yourself. 

“Yah!! Han Jisung!!” Holy mother almighty, his voice is pure sunshine and honey. Your body slowly uncurled back up on its own. Fuck, okay it’s on speaker. Shit, I can’t even breathe, can’t make a sound.

“We’re here, man.” 

“Hhhhh… she’s not still with you is she?” Is it possible to be attracted to a voice? I think I’m attracted to a voice. 

“Hell yeah, she is! Suck it up, bro. You’re already making me late and she’s fine~!!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Jisung-“ Oh, good lord. Him swearing really just--

“Get in or I’ll leave you here and set her up with Innie instead.” You just heard the guy sigh and the sound of a facepalm, you’re guessing, before the line went dead. And finally. You could finally howl with laughter, or perhaps it was more like manic screaming in infatuation.  

You have never, in all your years of living felt like this because of a person. Is this what it feels like to be whipped? Fuck, fuck, fuck- It’s like I’m at a concert- but not really and-

You were still in the thick of it when a door ripped open. When you reflexively looked over, all the air that was left in your lungs pathetically wheezed out of you like a sad balloon. 

Then the sensations all hit you.

Wow, okay the drunkenness and hangover is gone? I feel good? I feel alive, I feel the cool late autumn air? I feel feelings; feelings I’ve never felt before? You were light as a mother fuckin’ feather and astounded as all burning hell. You were openly experiencing so many intense emotions, something that hasn’t happened in so many years. 

At that moment your mouth and his gawk right open at the exact same time, not that the two of you noticed. Without any volition, your eyes immediately drown in the other. Okay, he’s actual artwork? He was dressed so cute like he was ready to take some cute aesthetic photos for a dumb little blog. Oh god, he smells like a cup of tea in the forest after it rained?! That’s so specific- but. He smells so lovely. 

His hair was pure angelic fluff and his skin was a light, silky caramel. You watched before your tired, dry eyes, the caramel in his cheeks rise into the purest shade of pink and his eyes widening into adorable little saucers. When they met yours, they were sparklier than any ring on any finger; you swear to god herself, you felt electricity crackle in your veins like wood to the fire.  Your eyes couldn’t pull away, you felt like a giddy little kid again. Whirling with excitement and curiosity as you looked at him all bundled up for the late fall weather. Your heart began to sing, sing triumphantly as if you broke some sort of curse- 

Curse?

Wait, hold up. 

Hold the fuck up. 

I think he’s my soulmate?! But I can’t possibly have one-

That’s when your entire body began to heat up in question. None of this made sense to you. 

How is this possible? How is this fucking possible?! The only thing your brain seems to produce in reaction is unending, spiraling questions. For each and every one of them, whether rhetorical or not, you didn’t have a sensical explanation or possible answer. This didn’t make any sense, it went against everything you ever knew to be true. 

You couldn’t have a soulmate, your maternal lineage fucked that up for you, it was what you were born into without a choice. A perpetual heartbreak, something that started out as merely coincidental to grow into a family burden that carried on precariously. How can it be that for generations, the youngest daughter in the family never got to meet their soulmate until now, until you? You were on the brink of a fucking existential crisis. 

Seungmin seemed shocked as well, though leagues and leagues below the ballgame you’re dealing with right now. He looked shocked; appearing delightfully surprised. Shocked as if he wasn’t expecting to be surprised with a present on a random and unimportant Wednesday, not shocked as if he just broke a generations-long family streak. 

Before you can continue these heavy ass thoughts, Jisung blasts out an interruption yet again.

“I CAN’T FUCKIN’ BELIEVE THIS!! I THOUGHT I WAS JUST HOOKING UP MY BOY AT ASS CRACK IN THE MORNING!! BUT NO!! I FUCKIN’ FOUND HIM HIS SOULMATE!! AND IT’S Y/N OUTTA ALL PEOPLE!! Y/N?!? SEUNGMIN?!? THE UNIVERSE REALLY PAIRED THESE PEOPLE TOGETHER?!? OUT OF-” 

“Jisung, shut the fuck up.” To your surprise, it was Seungmin who interrupts ‘Jisung’ and not you, as he gets the rest of the way into the messy car. His put-together ass looks completely out of place in this shitty car, it made you try to hold in a smile as closes the door with barely restrained enthusiasm. 

Before he turns back, you force yourself to face forward and try to calm the hell down and calmly reassess the situation. 

Alright... You met your not plausible-soulmate, out of all places in time and space, in the car of a kinda-stranger who offered you a ride home in the early-ass morning after getting laid at a sorority party. 

Okay. Great. This is great.

You cleared your throat and tried to remain cool. “O-okay, awesome. Where ar-are we heading to first?” Okay, that wasn’t entirely cool but maybe you can blame it on literally everything else wrong with you in this situation. 

“I don’t know, man. I deadass wanna just skip practice altogether and-” Jisung was interrupted by the sound of a camera’s shutter. You instinctively whip your head around towards the sound, only to be met with Seungmin camera-handed. He has the fucking nerve to take two more in the time it took for you to whip around. 

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?” Your voice ripped out of you, croaking out like an enraged toad. He then takes the final picture as you’re screeching at him. This just kept getting richer and richer. First, Jisung’s bullshit, then life-altering realizations that you broke some sort of generations long streak of not having a soulmate, and now your seemingly miraculous soulmate taking unexpected, embarrassing photographs of you in the worst state you’ve ever been in?

“Taking your picture.” He grinned with a shrug, no guilt or shame to be seen nor heard. You could not hold in squawks of disbelief. His pride and excitement seemed to only grow at your bewilderment, he had the nerve to do a precious ‘hehehe’, the kind that little kids do after they steal a cookie from the jar. 

“Give me that!” You sneer as you go to savagely rip it right out of his perfect hands. However, the two of you seemed to be matched in more ways than one; neither of you would budge, equally as strong as the other. 

“No way! You’ll delete them!!” 

“Yeah, exactly!! ‘No way in hell will I let you keep pictures of me like this!” 

“‘No fuckin’ way will I let you delete them!”

You gritted your teeth. “Then let me take pictures of you!!!” And then you can sneakily delete-

“Yeah and then you’ll delete yours.” How the fuck did he know-

“Seungmin, just give her the goddamn camera so I can drive and drop your hormonal asses off before coach murders me.” 

There was a raging fire in Seungmin’s eyes as he slowly and painfully let go of his forsaken camera so you could tentatively take it. Upon retrieving the camera your fingers accidentally grab unto Seungmin’s. Resulting in a little static shock zap, startling you and heating up your cheeks immediately with a jerk and a hiss. Seungmin reacted similarly, blinking like pink dust blew into his eyes to land on his cheeks. Your hand yanks it back towards you before you even realize it. Jisung was far too excited to watch this drama unfold right before his wide eyes. 

 If this was a normal day for you you’d jump to delete those humiliating pictures of yourself immediately, looking nothing short of the cheshire cat. But this was evidently not a normal day in any sense of the word, so, what you did was unlike you. You huffed out a breath to encourage yourself before slowly raising the camera to your dominant eye and focused the lense as best you could. 

At least I can photograph how irritatingly handsome he looks at this hour. 

You took the first picture, zooming in on his now grouchy, but still stupidly handsome face. Then you zoom out as far as possible, hoping to take in this entire scene in front of you, his angry posture in an adorably preppy outfit, this messy, disgusting car and how out of place he looks in it.

“Only two more.” Seungmin huffs with an eyeroll and by some divine power (perhaps the same divine power that made this odd miracle happen in the first place), you clicked fast enough to get some of that petty behavior visually documented. You pressed down twice, sadly that was your limit you agreed upon.

You didn’t even look at the pictures you took nor the ones Seungmin took so that you wouldn’t be tempted to delete them. It felt like you were committing a saintly act; as if simply taking his picture like you said you would, without deleting anything made you pure and free of sin. Perhaps this twisted reality of somehow defeating the ancestral odds had you feeling undeservingly self-righteous.

“You better not delete yours either.” You sneered once more, before jabbing the camera back into his sweatered chest. This time you were determined not to turn around again, you couldn’t risk him taking any more pictures. You also aren’t entirely sure you could handle seeing his stupid perfect face once more. This was an outrage and this was your way of protest. Also, an unspoken miracle, but enough of that.

You swiveled your head away from Jisung and Seungmin, fully leaning into the cool window and began to count the street lights and stop signs. As the grueling seconds ticked by the more concentrated you tried to be. Soon enough the concentration turned sleepy and before you knew it, you were knocked out. All your adrenaline fueled energy depleted.

All through your protest-turned-snooze, Seungmin couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off of you. He couldn’t help but find it endearing how you could be an absolute riot only to pass out three minutes later. It hurt how cute he found you, no matter how scandalous you seem to be. You seemed so genuinely shocked, it made him want to cry. And he’s also fairly certain that this isn’t new to you, you not only partied all night and regularly. And judging from the markings on your skin, you might’ve done a little bit more than party last night. In fact, it might’ve even enticed him, might’ve gotten him a little hot under the collar. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that he already whipped and he hasn’t even caught your name.

[100storiesin2020]

a Chainsaw in Fox Tower: Chapter 4

Come read on AO3!

*****

Blue closed the door gently behind her as she left the dorm, breathing a sigh of relief. She liked Renee so far, and Dan and Matt both seemed very nice, but today was going to be a lot of change at once and she was relieved to have Gansey here with her. She did hope, however, that he had decided not to bring his model town of Henrietta. She’d managed to talk him out of it before she had left, but he had a tendency to return to his impractical ways when she wasn’t around to make him be sensible. She started toward the elevator just in time for it to open, revealing Mr. Gray.

“I’m back,” he said as he spotted her, holding up a ridiculous number of takeout bags. “I’ve got enough Chinese for you, the boys, and a couple of roommates.”

A door opened just as Blue walked past, revealing a tall boy with Hispanic features. “Did somebody say Chinese?”

He was quickly shoved into the hallway and followed out by a short blond boy. “Move it, Nicky. I want to go find Katelyn.”

“Don’t be rude, Aaron,” Nicky said. He looked at Blue. “Hi! Are you one of the new Foxes?”

“Yes, I’m Blue,” she replied. “Blue Sargent.” She reached out for her customary handshake. “I’m the new striker.”

Nicky’s already happy face lit up even more, if that was possible. He shook her hand excitedly as Mr. Gray reached them, and Aaron entered the elevator. “It’s good to meet you! Neil’s going to be excited. He picked you himself, you know.” He turned and knocked on the door adjacent to his own. After a pause he knocked again. “Neil! I know you’re in there!”

The door swung open to reveal a copy of Aaron with a blank face and armbands. “Nicky.”

“Oh, hi, Andrew.” Nicky peered over the short boy’s head. “Hey, Neil! Your new striker is here!”

Andrew rolled his eyes and stepped to the side just in time for a redheaded boy to barrel out of the doorway. “She’s here?” Neil spotted Blue and smiled. Then he froze. He had noticed the man standing next to her. “Mr. Gray.”

“Hello, Junior.”

Several things happened in the next few seconds. 

Neil’s face paled and a look of pure terror crossed it. He turned and started to run. Andrew grabbed his arm and pushed him into the bedroom. By the time Nicky had finished saying, “What the /fuck/” Andrew had drawn a knife and shoved Mr. Gray into the wall. Before any damage could be done, he stopped, and the knife clattered to the floor.

Blue was holding his wrist in what she knew appeared to be a delicate and intimate way. In reality, she had targeted some pressure points in his wrist that had forced him to drop his knife. He stared at her, clearly shocked that he had been disarmed. Before he could turn on her or draw another knife, she dropped his wrist and took a small step back. “Let’s not threaten my stepfather,” she said quietly.

“I’m not your stepfather, Blue.”

She shrugged. “Close enough. Less arguing, more explaining.”

Mr. Gray sighed. “I worked for the kid’s father several years ago. Before Greenmantle.”

“What. The. Actual. Fuck.”

“Shut up, Nicky,” said Andrew. “You worked for the Butcher?”

Blue was very grateful that the hallway was still empty.

“Several years ago. I left their organization shortly after the boy and his mother ran off. We had… a disagreement.”

“He’s retired now,” Blue added helpfully.

*******

Matt and Dan had just hashed out the details of a bet when they heard loud noises from the hallway. Matt brushed it off as moving drama right up until he heard Nicky yelling, “What the /fuck/.”

He looked at Dan, who raised an eyebrow right back at him. “Should we check out what that is about?” 

Matt shrugged. “It’s probably fine.”

“What. The. Actual. Fuck.”

He sighed. “Okay, I’ll make sure everyone is alive.”

Dan pretended to swoon. “My hero!” He laughed as he stood up, and moved to pop his head out of the doorway.

He blinked. /what the literal fuck/ was right.

The new striker girl was standing almost toe to toe with Andrew. They were an interesting picture, that way. She was slightly shorter, though her hair more than made up the difference. She was decked out in a crazy rainbow of an outfit, and he was dressed all in black. Nicky and some man in a gray suit were watching the two of them, the former one shocked and the second one intent. There was a knife on the floor between them, and they had identical murderous expressions on their faces.

It looked like Dan owed him twenty dollars.

“What’s going on, guys?” he asked. “Andrew, did you-”

The girl waved him off. “It’s alright, Matt. We have it settled.”

“But-”

She interrupted him. “This will not be a problem.” That seemed to be directed at Andrew rather than him. The blond boy gave the barest of nods and his face relaxed back into its unsettling blankness.

Well, he was going to have to take her word for it, especially since the monster was apparently backing down. He closed the door and moved back to the couch with Dan.

“What was that?” she asked.

“I have no idea.”

****

Blue continued to stare Andrew down. She hadn’t ever lost a staring match with Ronan, and this boy didn’t even have the advantage of height over her. There was no way she was backing down, but she knew she owed him for this scare.

“What do you need from me?” He blinked, which was the most reaction she had seen from him yet. “To prove that this isn’t going to be a problem.”

He didn’t skip a beat. “Come with us to Columbia on Friday.”

She nodded. “I’ll be there.” Andrew retreated to the bedroom.

After an awkward pause, Nicky spoke, making Blue jump. She had forgotten he was there. “Can I ask a question?”

“Only if it’s related to Chinese food,” Blue replied. “I’m sure I’ll end up explaining the rest later. Also, please don’t tell anyone about this.”

“You can buy my silence with egg rolls,” Nicky replied.

Blue smiled. “I’m sure that will be useful information.” She took a few bags from Mr. Gray and led the way back to the girl’s dorm. 

Matt was speaking. “-to Columbia,” he was saying. He cut off suddenly as the door opened, looking very guilty.

“We’ve got Chinese,” Blue said, eyeing them warily.

“You will not BELIEVE what just- AAHH!” Nicky was stopped by a package of egg rolls which Blue had forcefully and accurately thrown at his face.

“Silence for egg rolls!”

“Okay, Okay!” he exclaimed, pickup up the package. Out of the corner of her eye, Blue saw him mouth /she’s scary/ at the others. That was fine. It looked like she would need a reputation to survive with this lot.

“Enjoy, y’all. I’m going to go find Gansey now.”

****

Neil was desperately packing his duffle bag. His heart was pounding and his brain was calculating escape routes and his mother’s voice was telling him to /run, Abram, run/ and he had too much stuff to fit in his bag and -

He was brought to a halt by a familiar hand on the back of his neck. "No running, little rabbit."

Neil sat down on the bottom bunk and drew his legs up to his chest. Andrew kept his hand in place, staring at Neil, and he started to breathe again. They sat there for awhile, until Neil's brain slowed and left the panic loop.

Neil started to talk. He and Andrew rarely played their truth for a truth game these days. Somehow it was okay, now, to share what needed to be shared.

"Mr. Gray was the deadliest of the hit men," Neil began.

"Neil." It meant /are you sure./

He looked Andrew in the eye and continued. "My father preferred the crazy kind, the ones like Lola and Roman. Mr. Gray was not like them. He was deadlier, but to him it was a job, not a life."

Andrew nodded. "He won’t be a problem," he said with all the certainty in the world.

Neil nodded back. "He won’t. He had no loyalty to my father."

"Then stay, rabbit."

Neil shrugged. "I'm not running anymore."

They sat in silence, the silence that was never awkward between them. It was a silence of understanding, the silence of home, of knowing where they stood and where they were going.

After a few minutes Andrew spoke. "She is coming to Columbia."

Neil's eyes flashed to Andrew's. "No drugs." Andrew regarded him blankly for a moment, and Neil could tell he didn't understand. "The Moriyamas are not our problem. She is a puzzle, not a danger." He paused. "I'm not risking breaking up the team before we have had a chance to come together."

"Fucking junkie." Andrew poked Neil's cheek to turn his face away as Neil smiled. He'd won. "We go on Friday."

[86-was-his-year]

Ink and Rose Petals  | Lee Jeno | Smut

Summary: The classical good girl falls for the bad boy but the bad boy is smart and she needs help with studying. He offers help and rewards you for every question you get right.

Warnings: Oral (Female and Male receiving), Orgasm denial, edging, dirty talk, hair pulling (female and male receiving), Swearing, Bisexuality? (Really isn’t a warning) all these peeps are 18 so yeah. (Such vulgar language fam), and a dash of Dacryphilia 

A/N: This boi is legal so don’t come after me or I’ll be sad. If you don’t like it just keep scrolling. Thanks, bros. <3 But like I listened to Stay Alive (Reprise) and It’s Quiet Uptown from Hamilton cause like I just found this amazing show and like it doesn’t fit the mood at all but I love these songs.

The beige halls were noisy and filled with the squeaking of shoes and conversations of other students. My friends conversed behind me and I couldn’t begin to care. After looking at my new schedule for the new term I knew I was screwed. All of my hardest classes were in this one term and I knew that I won’t get through this without help from someone. 

“Y/N are you okay?” Irene grabbed onto my shoulder and stopped me from walking straight into someone in front of me. 

“Yeah, it’s just,” I took a breath and ran my hand through my hair, “I can’t do any of these classes. I’m not smart enough.” I put the schedule back into my pocket and looked around the halls. 

“You can always go to the counselors and switch your classes.” Irene stopped talking and waved to her friends walking down the hall. 

“Then I’ll have to make that up next year and then I can’t graduate early.” I ran my hand through my hair once again and smiled at Irene before going to my first class. The classes were hard but went by quick and before I knew it I was at the last class of the day. Algebra 2 the one school subject that I sucked at. Math was the worst of my knowledge meaning I didn’t know anything at all. The teacher Mr. Kristy was nice enough but he always assumed that the children immediately knew what he was talking about 

“Good afternoon students. Good afternoon.” He smiled and we took random seats, mine being a row before the goons in the back. 

Na Jaemin, handsome and incredibly smart when it comes to academics. While on the other hand, his choice in friends is less than smart. They haven’t pulled down his grades or forced him to drugs as far as I know. They aren’t necessarily hurting him but I fear for his safety sometimes. 

Huang Renjun, Nothing particularly wrong with him he just eggs bullies on and keeps his mouth shut after. I have heard a few rumors about him beating people up and even a drug trade but those were just rumors, nothing has been proven yet. 

Lee Donghyuk, now this man is dangerous. He’s been with almost everyone in this school, boys included. Although he was open-minded and people liked that he broke the hearts of everyone he slept with, telling them that he would call them back or keep in touch yet, surprise surprise, he never did. 

And last but never least Lee Jeno, the baddest bad boy in this school according to legend. He’s notorious for kicking ass and taking names. His jet black hair looks like it was gelled with a concrete mix but most girls rumor that it is softer than a cloud. Many rumors go around about how he is a king in bed or how he truly was the best lay but then again, as I have said before. Those are just rumors. 

Their voices were loud and unable to be ignored as I got all the materials needed for the class. I looked around the room and watched as more and more obnoxious kids filed in to get a good seat. Thankfully no one was brave enough to sit next to me or the gang of Bimbos that sat behind me. Guess it’s my resting bitch face for the win again. 

“Okay then kids, You’ll find a syllabus on your desk, make sure you get it signed and return it by the end of the week. Failure to do so will be an F for that assignment.” I zoned out and watched him write different instructions on the board. Something about a review packet due at the end of the week and we have to have partners? 

“Which one of you lovely ladies or men would like to pair up with me?” Donghyuk leaned back on his chair and put his hands behind his head as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

“Thank you for the charity case Donghyuk but I believe your partners will be random. I want you fellas to meet new people. You guys never reach out and mingle with each other. I’ll have the ladies come to the front and pick one of the men’s names out of the cup!” Mr. Kristy shuffled the cup around and waved us forward. 

I rolled my eyes and stood up. I was going to get one of these hormonal, drooling, stupid boys as my partner and that would be no help to me. The only boy that would help me with the review is Jaemin. He was possibly the smartest boy in our class. He would most definitely help me understand the stupid concept that is math. 

“Donghyuk you’re my partner!” Some girl shouted from the front of the class and groans from the rest of the girls followed.

“Alright, sweetheart. Get up here.” Donghyuk grabbed his stuff and moved a couple seats down. I released a breath of reassurance as the girl grabbed her stuff and bounded up the stairs to his table. One less goon to possibly have as my partner. I stopped counted how many people were left and who they were after I heard Jaemin’s name being called. The hope for my math grade was dwindling by the second until I was the last person and there was only one more piece of paper in the cup. At this moment I wish I had kept track of who was left and I swallowed hard before putting my hand in the cup and opening the paper.

Lee Jeno

“Alright fantastic. I’ll hand out the packets and you and your partner can get started. The packet will be due on Wednesday. We’ll go through it in class then. The rest of the time is yours.” I threw the paper away walked back to my table to find Jeno already there with a pencil and paper in front of him. 

“Hi.” He said and his eyes smiled at me. His teeth were white and his skin was tan providing a look that was most pleasing to the eye. I shook my head and smiled back to him. 

“I’m Y/N.” I got out my pencil and grabbed two packets from Mr. Kristy and handed one to Jeno, flipping through the packet only to find that I knew none of these concepts. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose out of stress. 

“Are you okay?” Jeno’s voice is soft and quiet, not wanting to alert anyone of my issues. 

“Yeah, it’s just I honestly don’t remember anything from Algebra and I passed that class with a low D.” I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep shuddering breath. 

“Hey, don’t stress about it. I can help you if you want.” Jeno scooted closer and opened my packet. 

“I’m sorry but aren’t you like terrible at academics. You’re supposed to be like a ‘bad boy’ and can’t like do school?” I asked and looked at him with worried eyes. 

“Ha very funny. I’m actually amazing at school and passed Algebra with a high A. I can actually help you pass this class.” He smiled and his eyes turned into crescents again. He turned his own packet and looked through some of the problems, nodding to himself before beginning to explain it to me.

“Okay,” The hour of class went by and I still couldn’t understand much.”This comes from this number?” I pointed at the lone three in my paper in confusion.

“Yes. That’s right.” Jeno had taken off his leather jacket now and was in a plain white shirt, the least bit distraction while I was trying to concentrate on the equation at hand. 

“But where the fuck does it come from?” I closed my eyes and put my pencil down, cracking my stiff knuckles. “I’m sorry but this is hopeless.” I closed the packet and stuffed it in my folder, looking at the clock to find that there is only five minutes left. 

“It’s not hopeless. Here,” He tore a piece of paper from his packet and scribbled something on it. “Go home, try to relax and when you’re ready text me and I’ll come pick you up.” He packed up his stuff and smiled before going back to his original table to reconvene with his friends.  I sighed for the millionth time and grabbed my bag before walking out of class when the dismissal bell rung.

The halls were noisy once again, proving distasteful for my growing headache. I smiled at Irene and the rest of my friends as I passed them but didn't walk over, in fear that they would try to strike a conversation and my brain didn't feel like trying to converse with them so, I waved and kept walking.

I got in my car, taking off without a care in the world. I didn't want to wait for anyone, I didn't want to wait for my friends, and I certainly didn't want to wait for Jeno. I'm glad he didn't suggest going after class because I couldn't handle all that in a row. My headache would get worse and even thinking about it know caused a growing pain in the frontal lobes of my brain.

The clouds had covered the sun and I silently thanked the people above for this action. I flipped the radio on and turned it to CD mode, letting the sweet notes of 'It's Quiet Uptown' fill the once silent vehicle. I opened the windows and let the cool air cool me down. The song was more relaxing than I could have hoped and it seemed to ease my stress. I quietly began to sing along to the song, expressing my stressed feeling with the song.

Little did I know that Jeno was next to me in his shiny black car with his windows down, smiling ad he listened to me sing.

"You're pretty good." I jumped at the sound of his voice and turned to the side. He looked at the red light before looking back at me. "Where's that from?" He leaned closer to his right a little more, moving to hear my response.

"H-Hamilton. It's a musical." I nodded and watched as the light turned green, taking my foot off the brake, ready to get out of there as soon as possible. He disappeared in my rear view mirror as he turned the opposite direction, thankful for my escape I turned the radio up and listened to the song quietly.

The house was quiet after I let myself in, assuming my sister was out and my mom was busting herself at work. Sometimes she did a little too much despite herself. After setting all my things in my room I gathered everything for a shower and started the water. Before going to Jenos I wanted to really relax a bit so turning the water to a warm setting I stepped in and sighed as the water hit my aching muscles.

After washing with lavender body wash and rubbing my head lightly I got out of the shower, already feeling refreshed and ready for the ready of the day. The only thing left to do was text Jeno that I was ready to be picked up. I dug his wrinkled note out of my previous pair of jeans and entered it into my phone changing his name to 'Evil Jalapeno'.

'I'm ready to be picked up. My address is xxxxxxxxxxx."

I sent the message and continued to get dressed. Jeno wasn't anything special so I threw on a pair of black sweatpants and a black t-shirt. I packed everything in my bag and was scrolling through my phone when my phone beeped.

"I'm here."

His text was simple yet it was exciting. Never have I been picked up by a boy. Even if it was for school purposes it was nerve-racking. I walked out onto the porch while thinking all these thoughts and I locked up before turning to my driveway, finding Jeno in his sleek black car. His leather jacket covered arm was hanging out of the window with a cigarette hanging from his long fingers.

"Please don't dump that on my driveway. My mom will be pissed." At the notice of your arrival he opened his door and walked around the the other side of the car, sticking his cigarette in his mouth before opening the door, motioning you to get into the car.

You got into the car and he took his cigarette out of his mouth. Taking a puff before blowing it out into the air. The look of death never seemed more enticing. I knew it was killing his lungs and turning them to nasty black things filled with tar but I couldn't seem to care. He looked so amazing as he lifted the cigarette to his lips and I found myself begging him to take another puff of the cancer.

"Don't worry. I'll throw it out once we’re in the road. Your house actually isn't that far from my own." He stuck the cigarette in his mouth again and put his car into reverse, pulling it out of my driveway in one swift movement. I watched as he expertly put the car into drive and pulled away from my house.

The smell in his car was something else. Usually when I walk by someone smoking I cover my nose discreetly or I try to hold my breath, in fear of getting that nasty into my lungs but now in Jenos car I couldn't get enough of it. With his cigarette almost done he flicked it out if the car and I found disappointment in the action. The way it smelled along with his earthy, minty scent drove me mad. I wanted him to light another cigarette. I watched him for a while before turning to the road, afraid of getting caught checking him out.

"So, I took the liberty of listening to this 'Hamilton' soundtrack and I'm pleased to say that it was very good." He turned to me to gauge my reaction and I found myself smiling. "So good that I bought the whole soundtrack. You can pop it in if you want.” He handed me the yellow case and I opened it, finding the CD still in it’s case. I put it in the player and turned it up immediately going to my favorite songs, singing at a low volume.

I could feel his gaze on mine but I couldn’t get the strength to care. I looked out the window at all the different houses and kept singing. Lin’s voice flooded my ears and soon enough so did another. Jeno’s voice was almost as hesitant as mine and as he got louder I got louder causing us to be locked in a full on duet. Him playing Alexander and me Eliza, it almost seemed right for us. 

“I didn’t know you were into Broadway.” I smiled and turned to look at him. The World Was Wide Enough was playing in the background and we had both stopped singing, choosing to talk to each other instead. 

“I used to be into them a lot and I still am but I haven’t been to a musical in a long time.” He chuckled as if he was recalling a fond memory of his childhood. 

“Wow that a fact?” My utter disbelief was evident in my voice, he laughed and turned into his driveway turning off the radio and turning to me.

“You ready to get this over with?” He asked turning to me with a large smile on his face.

“As ready as I’ll ever be I guess.” I answered and he opened his door, jogging over to mine before doing the same for me. He grabbed my bag and slung it over his shoulder like it was nothing. Usually it takes good effort for me to even pick it up, he did it like it was the easiest thing in the world and for some reason that made my thighs heat up. 

“My room is the first door up the stairs and to the right. I’ll meet you there in a second.” He opened his door and his house wasn’t what I had expected. To be truly honest I expected a crack house. With the way he behaves and his over all look I’d say that his mother was a dead beat and his dad was out of the picture. This was obviously not the case.

His living room was right out in the open with a decent sized flat screen TV along with white fluffy rugs, and expensive looking coffee tables. The portion of the house that I could see had been all dark hardwood floors and the winding stairs had the fluffy white carpet that adorned the living room floor. I took my shoes off at the mat and followed his instructions up to the top floor, turning to the right and into his bedroom. 

His door was a nice thick oak wood and the fluffy carpet followed all the way to the room. His bedroom was also not what I was expecting. A couple of posters littered the walls but that was about the only abnormal thing in his room. His bedspread was white and had a hint of baby blue stripes at the end, his pillows matching the baby blue color, making it pop out. His desk was right next to his bed and it was filled with pictures and papers. 

“Planning an escape route?” Jeno asked from the doorway and I found myself jumping at his presence. I put my hand over my heart and turned to him. He had two sodas in one hand and two apples on a plate in the other. 

“Jeez, no. Just looking around, getting a feel for the place.” As I spoke I looked him over. He had changed into grey sweatpants and he kept the white shirt on he had before. Glasses also stationed themselves on the bridge of his nose and I mentally smiled to myself. My black backpack was still slung around his shoulders and I marveled at the way his biceps seemed to flex against it’s weight. Seeing Jeno this way was weird and unfamiliar but at the same time it was a fresh new look and I happened to like it. 

“Alright well have a seat then. I’ll cut these apples up and then we can start working. I already finished my packet so I can just help you with yours today.” He smiled and sat down at his desk. He pulled a knife from the plate and began cutting the apples. “You don’t need to stand the whole time.” He pointed to his bed with the knife and I found myself sitting immediately. I should’ve been afraid or at least the littlest bit anxious at the sight of him with a knife but it didn’t scare me all that much. 

“So, I don’t think I’m going to get any better with Math. In all honesty.” I broke the silence and looked down at my feet as they swung back and forth. His bed was quite tall and I couldn’t help but feel so small while sitting on it. 

“Alright before we start all the negative talk I want you to eat and drink this first. I’ll bet anything that you haven’t eaten today.” He gave you the plate of cut apples and then sat back in his chair. I shrugged and smiled, taking a slice of the fruit and putting it to my mouth. As if on cue my stomach growled like an angry animal and I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. 

“Sorry.” I continued to snack on the fruit and drink the sugary soda as I watched him work on his other homework for the week. Watching Jeno work was a privilege and shouldn't be taken lightly. His face looked so soft as he looked through his textbooks to find the answer. It was like he was finding the cure for cancer. 

“Aright Y/N are you ready?” Jeno took the plate and empty soda can and set them on his desk. “So, you kept saying that you will never get this math concept down but I think you can.” He folded his arms together and swirled back and forth in his chair, reminding me of an interrogation that the FBI would present. 

“But how? I can’t seem to get them to stick in my brain.” I brought my hands to my mouth and began to chew at the smooth fingernails that grew back. Another nervous habit of mine. 

“I’ve taught you most of what you need to know in class today. Do you remember anything from that time?” I strained hard and nodded. 

“I remember some things clearly but others I can’t remember well.” He nodded and looked at me with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

“So I was looking for things that might recall your memory and help you on a future test.” He smiled and looked up at me. His expression seemed unsure and in turn I found myself feeling unsure of what he was about to propose. “It’s a little wild but I thought you might like it. Now, you’re free to say no and we can just study a regular way but I think this will be exciting to try.”

“Okay, what is it?” I could feel my leg start to shake in nervousness. My mouth turned dry and my eyes looked around the room. 

“Have you ever had your pussy eaten?” He spoke right out and was not ashamed of his foul language. The words shocked me and my cheeks began to heat up heavily. I could feel the heat travel to my neck and ears, making it impossible to hide how I felt about his question. 

“Pardon?” I definitely heard what he said but I wanted to make sure it was real. Not that I’ve had dreams about these moments with him before but it just was a shock to hear a boy talk about me like this. 

“Have you ever had your pussy eaten before, Y/N?” The way he said my name had my stomach flipping with butterflies. I pushed my legs together as the severity of his question took place. 

“N-No. Why?” My arms came to my stomach to calm its unstable state. It was flipping and the pit of my stomach had an aching feeling that I didn’t hate but didn’t enjoy. 

“Well, I read an article and it says that oral helps as a reward system so when you get one wrong and you get nothing it causes you to work harder to get one right.” 

“And if I do get one right?” The question hung in the air like a noose. Daunting, yet inviting to the right person. 

“Well, I give you the reward of course. This is only if you want to though Y/N. You can most definitely say no.” His nature turned concerned and understanding, which I was thankful for. It made me feel like I had a way out if I wanted one. 

“Yes.” My response was quiet but my feeling were loud. I wanted this more than anything at the moment and if it would help me with math at the same time it’s like killing two birds with one stone. 

“What was that?” He put his hand up to my ear and leaned towards me. He was being cheeky and I blushed even more. 

“I would like to try this. Please.” He smiled and took his glasses off, setting them on the desk. He took my packet out of my backpack and set it on the bed along with a pencil and a calculator. 

“Now let’s get you out of those pants.” His words set into my mind and I forgot about having to be naked from the waist down to do this. “I can help you if you’d like.” He picked up his chair and brought it over to the edge of the bed.

“Sure. I can leave the shirt on though, right?” I pinched the fabric between my fingers, wanting it to stay where it was. 

“Yes, whatever you like.” He smiled and trailed his hands up my legs, stopping at my thigh. I could feel that they were lightly shaking and I guess he could too because he chuckled and rubbed them gently. 

His long fingers went under my shirt rubbed calming circles on my skin. His fingers were cold and soft creating a relaxing sensation on my taut skin. He hooked around the edge of my sweatpants giving a good tug, making my lift my hips for him to get them off easier. He pulled them off and let the fall to the ground without caring where they went. My black underwear were nothing special or pretty but he smiled at them and he looked at them like they were.

“Are you sure that you want to do this?” His soft hands were rubbing my thighs lightly and it calmed me down even more. My heart was still racing a little too fast but it was just the nerves taking over my body.

“Yes, please.” After his light touches and rubs I was more than anxious to get started, even though I’ve never done this before. 

“Alright, lift up for me.” His command was sweet and gentle, coaxing me to do as he asked. He pulled down the black underwear and tossed them somewhere else as well. I was on full display for him and he seemed to enjoy that. He grabbed under my knee and put my feet on his bed frame, my legs spreading due to the action. My consciousness told me to shut my legs and not let him see what awaited him but I kept them open, only twitching once or twice. 

He chuckled and held my legs open, “Aren’t you a brave little girl.” His praise had me swallowing thickly. The throbbing below my legs was unbelievable and I couldn’t wait any longer for him to get started. 

“Can you please do something?” I asked politely. My voice sounded desperate and we hadn’t even done anything. I didn’t even know if I would like this yet. 

“It’s all up to you my dear. Pick up the packet and work of the first problem. If you get it right you’ll receive a reward.” His hands took to rubbing my thighs to soothe me. His  veiny arms rested on the side of my legs as his long fingers drew random scribbles over the plane of my unmarked thighs. I huffed a sigh of anxiousness and picked up the packet laying next to me as well as the pencil. 

I cleared my head and looked at the next problem. I had done three already in class with him and I grabbed the calculator plugging in some number before working on the rest of the equation. His words from before seemed to come back to me in bits and pieces but with the promise of reward it had me working harder. I took form the first three problems and used them to help me solve the fourth one. I turned the packet around and showed Jeno my work. He took the packet from my hand and scanned the numbers before nodding. 

“That’s correct. Now,” I let out a sigh of relief and waited for his words. My heart was thumping and I could feel my face on fire. I was more that ready for this to happen. “you can lay back or sit up. It’s up to you but it feels better when you lie back and relax.” He flipped up my shirt a bit and spread my legs a bit wider. I could tell that I was wet and throbbing and by the way he looked at it he could tell too. 

His fingers ran down the length of my stomach and spread my lips to get a better look at what he was dealing with. The simplest of touches from him had me gasping for breath. I took his advice as laid flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling awaiting his next move. His soft lips came into contact with my clit and I gasped for air before holding my breath. He chuckled again before flattening his tongue to lick a broad stripe from my entrance to my clit. He kissed it and ran his tongue along it.

“Fuck, Jeno.” I looked down and found his black hair resting on my pubic bone, moving along with the movement of his face. His tongue was warm, wet, and felt like heaven on earth. My fingers would never compare to this moment right now and as he sucked my clit into his mouth I felt as if I would cum right there. 

“Alright, next problem.” He gave my clit on last kiss before sitting up in his chair. 

“What?” I was breathing fast and my heart was missing and adding beats to it’s new rhythm. “No, why did you stop?” I sat up and looked at him with desperate eyes. 

“It wouldn’t be much of a motivator if I let you cum just on the first problem, now would it?” He smiled and picked up the packet before putting it in my hands. I huffed and nodded before clearing my mind. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down so I could easily get the next problem done to get my sweet reward. Again, I recalled his words form previous hours and looked at the earlier problems to help me. 

I looked at him and he smiled. His lips were lightly drenched with my wetness and I found my thighs wanting to close to alleviate the throbbing pain that he put upon them. He shook his head and pulled them back apart. 

“I’ll give you what you want. Just be a good girl and finish the problem for me.” He rubbed the inside of my thighs and I began to focus again, like he asked me to. I finished the problem and gave him the packet, confident in my skills and ready to get what I wanted. He frowned and shook his head. 

“Why?” My desperation got the best of me and I found myself whining at the unfairness of it.

“Just a minor miscalculating error. Put the last line in and double check your negatives. It should be right then.” I huffed and erased the last line, finding that it was a simple error and I fixed it before turning the paper to him. He nodded and I laid down again. 

His tongue came down on me again and I relished in the pleasure it gave me. He wasn’t being gentle with me and sucked my clit right into his mouth swirling his tongue around me. I cried out and went for something to grab. My fingers tangled in his hair and planted there. I didn't want him to leave and it felt like this was the only way I could get him to stay. I was almost there, the edge ready for me to fall of but he grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand from his hair, taking his mouth off of me. 

We went though this process over and over again until we had the first page finished. I could feel my release right in reach, his tongue bringing me the satisfaction that I needed. He had his tongue on my once again, going a little longer due to the fact that I finished the first page with little to no help.

“Now, Y/n. I have a deal for you.” He sat up in his chair once more and smiled at my fucked out expression. “If you finish this packet in one go I’ll let you cum without stopping. Does that sound okay baby girl?” He was rubbing my thighs once more and I found myself nodding hysterically. I picked up the packet and sat up looking at the questions before picking up the pencil. 

After failing so many times and getting my orgasm denied I had a new-found passion for math. With the rewards I was getting it was making it all worth it and I found that the subject wasn't that hard if you paid attention and made an effort to understand it. Jeno just sat there licking my juices off his lips as if he actually enjoyed it. My thighs twitched and a fire shot through my body that had me shivering. 

“I know baby. Hurts doesn’t it?” He put his hands on my twitching knees and held them open, letting me focus on the problems in front of me rather than having me focus on keeping my legs open for him. 

“Yes, Sir.” As soon as those words came out of my mouth I knew my secret was out of the bag. I stopped scribbling and looked at Jeno with wide eyes. He was just smirking, something at made more heat roll through my core. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to come out.”

“It’s okay. Desperation makes us do crazy things you know?” His hands made their way up my thighs and onto my pubic bone, drawing circles and other things occasionally going almost to where I needed him most before bringing his hand right back up. It was his way of giving me more of a motivation. Telling me that I was so close to what I wanted yet, so far if I took too long. 

As I did more and more problems I couldn’t help but breeze through them, quickly figuring out the pattern and knowing where to put what and where things came from which was my biggest issue when we started this. It turned to the third and final page, my clit throbbing even harder as I thought about the end of these four problems. After this he wouldn’t stop anymore and I felt my thighs shake with excitement. 

“Poor little girl, so excited for me to make her cum. But, what if these problems are wrong and you get nothing? Will you cry? Gonna show me those pretty tears?” Jenos words hit a different level and I actually began to think about these problems being wrong. After being so confident in what I’ve done there is a possibility that it could be wrong and then I would get nothing, my crappy hand would have to finish the job. I took a breath and continued working having a small doubt in myself that I didn’t have before.  

“What if they are wrong?” I finished the packet but held it up to my chest.

“Don’t worry princess. I’ll give you something for the ones you got right.Your pussy tastes too good to let it go to waste.” He took the packet with a little bit of resistance from me but he assured me that it was okay if I got some wrong. It was only my first time understanding the concept and he said he would be proud of me anyway.He flipped through the last two pages and shook his head. 

“How did I do?” The anxiety was practically burning a hole through my heart. He set the packet on his desk and smiled. 

“You are such a good girl,” He put his hand on my stomach and laid me flat on the bed. “You only got two wrong and for that I think you deserve to cum.” I felt tears prick my eyes and I exhaled.

“Thank you.” I felt genuine gratitude fill my heart and I spread my legs wider for him. 

“Now, I have one rule. We have this bid house all to ourselves I want to hear you.” Jeno grabbed onto my thighs and pressed light kisses to them as he began to start again. I guess he wanted to tease me a little longer but my impatience was getting to me and I felt my hips raise off the bed, trying to get something from him. 

“Please, Jeno. Please let me cum.” He chuckled and just got straight to work after that. He wasn’t holding back anymore and I grabbed at his hair instantly. He was sucking and licking and kissing as if he hadn’t found anything better in his whole life and it made me whimper and cry out for him. With the promise of being able to cum I felt as if I didn’t have to hold back anymore. I didn’t have to wait for that stupid packet to be done and he wouldn’t be stopping this time so I just let myself go like he asked me to. My moans sounded like cries and I tugged on his hair more and more the closer I got to my orgasm. He moaned into my clit and that was it, the feeling of heat washed over my body and my eyes rolled into the back of my head. 

I could hear my moans and it was unlike anything I had ever heard. They were so raw and natural that I couldn’t think of any other way to describe them than the product of pure pleasure. Jeno seemed to enjoy them too because he helped me ride out my high generously, not stopping until I was twitching and pushing his head away. Even then he was still trying to get every last drop out of my, enjoying the way I tasted. 

“Wow, fuck you’re beautiful.” Jeno looked at me in the bed and I smiled. I was breathless and sweating but the compliment felt genuine. like he really thought I was beautiful and that made me feel even better than I did as I was knee deep in the bliss he supplied me with. I sat up and immediately saw his tent in the sweatpants he was wearing. It was thick and large if I was being completely honest. And I was.

“What about you?” I scrambled on the bed and put my feet on the fluffy floor, my knees not holding me properly. I collapsed to my knees and just laughed. Jeno’s face was concerned but as far as I was concerned I was exactly where I wanted to be. The bulge in his pants looked even better than before when I was up close. My mouth watered at the thought I tasting him as he had tasted me. 

“I’ll probably just take care of it later. You don’t have to.” he shifted in his seat and I could tell that it was going to be a problem for the rest of the ride home so I decided that I would help.

“But, what if I want to?” I put my hand on his thighs and tentatively looked up at him It seemed as if I belonged here. On my knees for him as he was for me. Like we were two puzzle pieces waiting in the bottom of the box, just to touch and be right for each other. 

“Well, I’m not going to say no.” He yanked down his sweats and I was met with one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen, minus his face. The head was the same hue as his lips, just a little redder due to the lack of attention it was getting. The vein protruding from it gave it a beautiful natural look that none of the guys had in porn and it made me question if they had it this good. I wrapped my hand around it and found it was quite soft for looking so hard, I have it a light squeeze trying to test the waters when he hissed between his teeth. His head was back and he looked like he was relaxing.

“Did that hurt?” I asked shyly, taking away the pressure that I had just given. 

“No, not at all just be a good girl and suck me off, can you do that for me?” He looked down at me and his eyes were way darker than they had been a few minutes ago. 

“Yes.” I was gong to begin when he lightly grabbed my hair.

“Yes, what?” His words shocked me and I immediately knew what he was asking for. My little slip up earlier had caused him to figure out what i liked and he was using it to his advantage. 

“Yes, Sir.” He smiled and lead my head to his angry cock. I slid my tongue up a vein that ran up the bottom of it and he hissed again pulling my hair slightly, telling me how bad he wanted it. I finally decided that I could do this and put his cock in my mouth hollowing my cheeks before slowly moving up and down, trying to get a feel for what I was doing. The porn made it look so gross but looking up at him now, his head back and his mouth wide open releasing beautiful noises, it didn’t seem as gross as I thought.

I kept my teeth tucked under my lips and my tongue flat against his cock, like I had heard Irene say when she was talking about her recent sexual adventures. She said it drove a guy wild and I guess it did because not before long I felt him thrust up into my mouth making the rhythm I had built up move faster. 

“That’s it. That’s my good girl.” With his words I took him deeper causing him to take a big breath and his stomach started to shake under his shirt. He began to hit the back of my throat and although I gagged many times I couldn’t care. Tears and drool ran down my face and it felt disgusting to be honest but it was who I was with that was making it all worth while. 

“Can you swallow it?” His question was fast and breathy but I could hear was he was saying. I hummed and went a bit fast for him, non-verbally telling him my answer. He also went faster and after about four thrusts he unloaded in my mouth. It fell down my throat and on my tongue and I couldn’t help but taste it. The salty liquid felt creamy in my mouth but it wasn’t that enjoyable. I swallowed for him and whipped my mouth with the back of my hand. 

“Did you like it?” I sat back on my heals and waited for him to catch his breath. 

“Very much. You’re such a good girl for me.” He put his hand on my cheeks and wiped away my tears before tucking himself back into his sweats. He handed me my underwear and sweats before turning on the TV. He laid on the bed and told me to do the same and we stayed there all night just watching TV with each other. 

[alltingfinns]

A Scandal in Belgravia

So I’m back on this.

The swoosh on some sped up footage in the previously, don’t remember noticing that.

This episode’s start gets so much funnier if you read some of the fic written between this and the previous episode.

Silly song now becomes more dramatic in TRF.

What did Irene offer Jim to get him so riled up? If it’s the plot plane plan that would explain why Sherlock is needed alive. But his emotional reaction... maybe he’s already been trying to get it on his own. Indicates possibly that Jim has been looking for a way to get to Mycroft.

“You’re typing a lot.”

This montage is nicely done.

Arguing about the blog.

The pouncing on the title.

He’s so hurt. He knows ash!

“We do watch the news.”

“You said boring and switched the channel.”

First time where “people” = John.

And the hat.

“It’s time.” I never thought about the waiting period.

Ehh, Hudson called up to the next floor so John’s room? Boys?

Ha cool, a SAAB. An old one too. I’d guess a 900 model from the early nineties.

Lestrade probably makes these calls a lot.

I get Sherlock’s confusion, he’s just in a sheet it’d make sense for him to be humiliated.

Their silent conversation + John’s acceptance of the absurdity.

That was a pretty long look on Sherlock’s lap and then asking about pants.

The Swedish subtitles on Netflix just referred to John as ”kronans gosse” I love it!

John took the queen liking his blog as a point in their argument.

I always like looking at John during the sheet bit.

Mycroft and John conversing in subtext that you need to remember their original conversation from a whole series/three episodes ago. And people think johnlock is too subtextual.

They made “the woman” a work title clearly to explain why Sherlock would refer to her that way. A bit harder to work in the context from ACD canon. It would be weird if Sherlock in modern times went “a credit to your gender” for defeating him.

Sherlock’s reaction Mycroft’s veiled assertion settles the question, I think. He’s making a “damn, he’s got me there” face. Mainly because John’s presence, if we considers his previous statement. If it were just him and Mycroft he’d just say “just because I haven’t done it doesn’t mean I can’t understand it!”

Btw, in case you think my typing speed is phenomenal I am hitting pause when something gets really interesting to me.

The parallel of checking the pictures have the “obvious” reading of romantic set up. But Sherlock is still learning details of a case he has been given so another reading is that while he’s targeting her she’s targeting him.

My reading is backed up by Sherlock’s immediate demeanor. His interest in her didn’t really appear until he found out she didn’t ask for anything. Blackmailers are a dime a dozen, but someone making a point of threat against the reputation of the BRF without asking for direct compensation? That’s someone with a plan and someone who can give him the kick he feeds of from casework.

John getting the last word in only for Sherlock to get the laterer word in.

Pinching an ashtray from the aforementioned BRF, whom himself mentioned as his first client with a navy, just to make John laugh? Some things are priceless but for everything else there’s MasterCard.

Okay, I had to back up a bit but: I don’t know who’s getting these pictures for Irene, but the last one that makes her smile is focused on John. She sees Sherlock more naked in the pictures where he’s fully clothed in the back of a cab than when he was in just a sheet on the pavement.

More parallels. This is really about their similarities. Could still be considered romantic foreshadowing “they’re made of the same cloth” type.

Ah yes, punch me.

That little dialogue snippet about “punch me” usually being subtext is what got me to first watch this show.

In general I have a lot of issues with how they handled Irene. But I especially don’t think I get the nudity in this scene. It reveals to Sherlock immediately that his ruse was all in vain since she either a) knew he was coming anyway or b) usually greet priests in distress while stark naked and might therefor just be stark raving.

Unflappable John Watson. Oh dear, my flat mate who I just beat up is sitting in front of a naked dominatrix with his vicar collar between her teeth. “I’ve missed something, haven’t I?”

He doesn’t like being a third wheel either. “I had tea too! Just so you know. In case you thought Sherlock got tea at the palace by himself. I was there too. The tea was lovely. Just the right temperature.”

Dammit.

Now I want tea.

Wait wait wait! When did John put his “date” shoes on? Only time it makes sense is when Sherlock was looking through his disguises. (He definitively wouldn’t wear them to traipse around the muddy crime scene.) Maybe they’re part of his “battle uniform”? Also obviously Sherlock can only “deduce” date because he knows what shoes John wears on dates. This isn’t really clothed people are easier to deduce.

How is he not deducing the heck out of her make up and ear piercing? Is it because she’s acting so extraordinary that her indicators become harder to contextualise?

Or is that whole thing just a plot hole?

And her comes her actual opening chess move. Nudity and banter was just setting up the pieces.

“Somebody loves you.” She pressed John’s big red “DO NOT PRESS” button right away. Later she says Jim told her how to play the Holmes brothers, but he definitively gave some pointers on John as well.

There’s something about John’s facial movements when Irene says he knows exactly where to look. Hard to compare with the sheet scene because of the different angles. But yeah, John is bi.

“You do borrow my laptop” with such an angry glare.

Wait are Irene’s shoes those shoes that are expensive because they’re red on the bottom? (I do not care enough to google their names.)

And it’s when John starts to smile that Sherlock does his verbal keysmash. Officially Ben said it was because Irene was paying attention to John instead of him, but she does that a number of times previously and has had quite a moment of getting cosy at John. But up until then John has been a bit standoffish. Of course you can only take so much of a pretty lady flirting with you before your smile reflex gets activated. Also he whips his head immediately at Sherlock in medical concern for his friend and Sherlock can speak clearly again.

Sherlock thinks he knows her game now as he makes his move getting her to confirm that the pictures are in the room.

Imagine the egg on his face if John hadn’t managed the smoke alarm in time.

“Amazing how fire exposes our priorities” should be part of a collection of lines that are only said once but thematically repeated throughout the show.

Some would argue maybe “I really hope you don’t have a baby in there” could be added but I don’t think it could be considered as repeated enough thematically.

Sherlock being his usual demanding self about turning off the fire alarm. The fool! Doesn’t he know how hard fire alarms are to turn off? (Maybe just a problem for me...)

Okay sure, easy enough with a gun, but impractical as a long term solution.

Umm, excuse me why does he go “no disrespect but you were clearly born in the 80s” in an episode from 2012? The most she’d be is 32, so clearly she looks at most like that then. Why would she be insulted by that? Also he earlier called a dude unhealthy, stupid and with bad breath in front of him without clarifying level of respect. So basically he’s needling her by adding that. That’s the most positive spin it can get.

John apologising for not stopping /forewarning about a whole bunch of trained killers sweeping in? That is diehard loyalty.

She’s staring hard at him as fire exposes his priority.

She actually does give him a clue by looking down the moment he looks at her. Never thought of that.

He heard something click wrong, looked at her for additional clue so she looks to the side “get out of the way”.

I love that John’s priority is medically inclined in the action scene, checking the vital signs of the guy that got shot.

“Observant?” “Flattered?” Honestly he shouldn’t be so surprised by the first bit as it was obvious some kind of observation + deduction got Sherlock the code.

As usual Sherlock gives zero fucks about gun safety. I feel John at some point is going to tie him down and lecture him about it. “We do not scratch our heads with the barrel of a gun, and we don’t call for the police by shooting in the air!”

You know if you’re knocking him out cold regardless, you don’t need him to drop the phone first. You just wanted the beating to be literal.

“He’ll be fine. I’ve used it on loads of my friends.” Yeah no, tell the doctor what chemical knockout drug you just put in a former drug addict!!

I wonder how much of dream Adler is actual Adler speaking to a drugged out Sherlock.

Could be nothing with the only real part being “hush now, returning your coat”. Would make sense for a dreaming brain to jumble the two cases together.

Start of series 2 we get to see Sherlock’s bedroom while John’s remain a mystery after 4 series.

John is not on the top of his game this episode. “What woman?”

And so it begins.

Mycroft does not have “shut up Hudson” privilege.

That whole phone noise discussion is punctuated with embarrassment.

Ah the gaping jaw that set the sails for the lestrolly ship.

“Christmas is canceled!” I love when John banters with Sherlock.

Sherlock is mean to Molly, but to be fair she kind of blundered a bit with the others and Sherlock complaining about John being away was clearly something he told in confidence. Telling Greg and John that their loved ones are betraying the trust put in them is general misanthropy, but Sherlock probably feels justified in needling Molly about a crush that he figures none of them know anyway.

Oh John’s look there. Greg clearly knows too what is coming but John has the recognition factor.

“Oh shit. It was me. Still me? She still has a thing for me?”

For a sort of dramatic moment it still has one of John’s absolutely funniest facial journeys. “Wait, you apologised? You know what an apology is? Are you feeling well?”

Obviously Irene’s text signal gets a lot of funny moments, but nothing will beat the timing of this one. And now I am imagining Jim with a pair of binoculars sitting across the street and telling Irene “now, send it now, it’ll be fucking priceless!”

And Greg “wait really?” When you’re not sure what your consultant can do to surprise you next.

I believe I made a post about it earlier but Jeanette’s boyfriend just said he’s been keeping track up till 57 on text messages that his platonic flat mate gets where the signal is a woman moaning.

“Do you ever reply?”

Jeanette starts working on her break up speech about then, I believe.

Molly nervously gulps a drink. Now Molly is everyone’s favorite John mirror. Medical professional with a crush on Sherlock, and whose favored type of outfit involves knitwear. John usually takes a drink at emotionally difficult times. Is this Molly handling her rejection, or showing what John is doing/will do without showing John?

Mycroft. If they passed a new law why would Sherlock know about it before you?

“How did Sherlock recognize her from... not-her-face?”

Mycroft answers with a smile and leaving the room.

“I got plans”

“No” I know you. If it’s a date you’ve probably bungled it already. Regardless if it is or isn’t you’ll still prioritize my brother because you always do.

John really goes for the superconfident strategy when dating, huh? “I always thought I was great.”

“I’ll even walk your dog!”

“I don’t have a dog!”

“No, because that was the last one...”

Always thought you were a great boyfriend, huh?

When even your landlady who got out of her marriage through execution thinks you bungled it, you probably bungled it.

Think I’ll break here and continue the rest of the episode tomorrow.

[adderallforsale25-blog]

Parents Need certainly to Know About These Detrimental Aftereffects of ADHD Drugs

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD is currently conceived to be experienced just among children. Actually, suffering from ADHD in early stages of living may take the value to their examination among adults. Ergo, young ones who're struggling with ADHD need quick treatment in order never to continue the illness through adulthood Adderall For Sale .

With that, lots of the instances of ADHD are put under particular medications. To effectively manage, get a handle on or improve an ADHD patient's behavior, health practitioners generally turn to drugs. Adderall is one of the most used and frequently given drugs that are generally found in treating and managing ADHD.

Adderall is really a drug that has been established successful in handling the symptoms of ADHD among kids and person patients. With regards to the dose, the useful aftereffects of the drugs include improved academic performance among individuals of college ages, better behavior, and over all improved performance. The drug was actually stated to be much more potent than any drugs applied to control ADHD as it was seen to have a longer time effectiveness specially in reduced dosages.

While many people benefit from adderall drugs, you can find several cases of slight to serious adderall area effects. The symptoms of the drug's negative effects usually are modest and can very quickly be treated with a healthcare provider.

Adderall is really a clinically tried and established efficient drug. But, through its group of medical screening, numerous its unwanted effects have been documented. Popular Adderall side effects include lack of appetite leading to weight reduction, trouble asleep, abdominal suffering, high body stress, mental improvements, nausea, throwing up, dizziness, diarrhea, improved heartrate, fever and center burn.

Individuals with center issues and other wellness situations should get caution in using adderall medications. Among kiddies, there is a documented event that adderall treatment has caused temporary slowing of growth, particularly in weight. Further study have discovered improved cardiac defect as one of the drug's rare area effects.

To reduce the danger of Adderall unwanted effects, drugs are usually given at strictly managed dosages. Patient's who're provided such treatment for the very first time will undoubtedly be directed to take low dosages just to see if you have any indicator for area effects.

The extent of the drug's unwanted effects varies from patient to individual given that they depend on the person body's reaction to the composition of the drug. While Adderall unwanted effects are typically modest, worsening or untreated'minor'negative effects create significant health risks especially among patients with heart problems and high body pressure.

In January 9, 2005, the Heath Canada chose to hold the revenue of Adderall XR as a result of its manufacturer, Shire Pharmaceuticals, obtained studies that connected the drug to the 12 unexpected death instances of American young ones have been below adderall medication. Afterwards, the bar was raised due to the limited evidence encouraging the claim.

Nevertheless, a very important factor is clear- Adderall is never an ideal drug that'll solve every patient's behavioral queries and the long run ramifications of Adderall aren't known. Thanks to contemporary science, ADHD people get more alternatives for treatment. Now, with better, powerful and less intrusive methods to behavioral therapies, individuals can perfectly avoid the risks that mental drugs such as for example Adderall have.

Studies demonstrate that oftentimes ADD has been linked to diet, which include food allergies and natural deficiencies. The first step in a diet for ADHD is changing your child's consuming habits. You are able to start with eliminating specific foods or adding other food items to the ADHD diet that might minimize indicators or eliminate them altogether.

In accordance with Dr. Joe Lawlis, a healthier diet is essential for children and adults. Consuming the proper foods may maximize attention and guide learning capacity. A diet for ADHD that includes healthiest ingredients can straight away reduce ADD signs in many cases.

The next meals have now been investigated and discovered to possess bad influences on kids' health: Artificial shades and additives; carbonated drinks, diet soda pops, and artificial sweeteners; processed dairy and dairy products.

Different ingredients to reduce or eliminate are crap foods, sugars, fully processed foods, eggs, candy, and melted foods.

There are numerous ingredients and products that you could include in an altered ADHD diet. Both foodstuffs mentioned by several reports are protein and flax seed fat, or some fish oils are good as well.

Protein is very good for the ADHD brain. Doug Cowan, Psy.D. proposes a good quality protein dust that is found at a wellness food store. He claims, "Get protein grains which are mostly protein and very little carbohydrate." He implies building a protein move and including it with breakfast and another move in the late day around 3pm.

Protein Move

Diet for ADHD, create a cup of coffee. Fill the warm espresso in to a blender with about 6 ounce of ice. Switch on the mixer for a bit. Put in a top quality protein powder. You should buy a protein powder with vanilla flavor for additional flavor. Add between 15 and 20 grams of protein to the cold espresso in the blender. Start the blender again.

Another choice is to use Normal Mills'Global Coffees, or something that way, with a quality that you or your child will like. Doug Cowan, Psy.D. says "Sure, I know I am breaking my very own principles here, as these coffees have dried dairy and some sugar, but I'm hoping to get your child to really drink the one thing, and also get some coffee mixed with the protein."

Coffee can have some part effects. If your child has issues with the coffee in the espresso then do not make use of the coffee in this diet for ADHD. Generally, nevertheless, the coffee in the coffee helps anyone to focus better. The protein helps to feed the brain.

Flax seed and flax gas are the most effective source of omega-3 important fat. When organizing everyday ingredients, mix about a spoonful into ingredients, or enhance salad dressings, etc.

Produce number mistake about it. A diet for ADHD is the best way to produce a positive development along with your health. Your ADHD diet can include different organic solutions for maximum benefit. It's one of the many choices you can make whenever you examine alternative solutions for ADHD.

[crue-sixx]

Hungry Like A Wolf

Title: Hungry Like A Wolf

Author: tiddly-winx

Fandom: The Dirt (Motley Crue Movie)

Summary: The reader is bitten by a big dog, but she's in for more than just an infection.

Warnings: Swearing, Blood, Gore, Sickness, Smut. Animal Death, Werewolves

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was Halloween, the band's favorite holiday.  You guys went all out, decorating the apartment, making your costumes with whatever you could find and throwing them together last minute.  Of course you stocked up on candy-both for you all to eat and to pass out to the kids in the building.  You and your boyfriend Tommy were handing out the candy, and when the trick-or-treating hours had concluded, the real tricks would start.

Nikki had bought five dozen eggs a month ago and let them rot, planning on having you all throw the putrid stink bombs at adult passerby who happened to be roaming around.  You all had it planned out-two on the left, two on the right and one sitting in a tree or on the roof.  You were with Tommy on the right, Mick and Vince to the left and Nikki up high.  You bombarded a few groups of teenagers who were bullying younger kids for their candy.  The little bastards deserved it. 

The stink exploded on impact, causing the pizza faced boys to gag and scatter.  "That's what you get for bein' mean to little kids, assholes!" Nikki shouted from up top.  The teenagers all cursed and vowed revenge, but you all knew it was an empty threat. 

When all the eggs were spent, you kissed Tommy on the cheek and said "Go on back to our room, Babe" you said winking "I gotta go pick something up for your treat tonight" he grinned, knowing full well that he was getting a special sex session tonight.

"Why didn't you just have it delivered or pick it up earlier?" he whined, not wanting to wait for his Halloween Treat.

"Because" you eyed them all "Most of you guys like to try and ransack my drawers for my underwear" except for Mick, they all nervously laughed and glanced down.  "And I didn't want the surprise to be spoiled" you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him tenderly.  He of course returned the gesture with aplomb.

"Hurry back, Y/N" he said, not wanting to let you go but he had to.

"I will, Tommy" you blew him a kiss, to which he caught it and sent it back.  Nikki and Vince made mock gagging gestures and Tommy laughed at that.

You were on your way to the shop that was open late tonight when you had to cross the park to make a short cut.  It was like Central Park in New York, but considerably smaller.  You could see your destination just on the other side when you heard a rustling in the bushes.  You turned and saw a rather large dog, you didn't think anything of it and tried to go on your way, but a supernatural force pulled you back to stare into it's eyes.

Your heart rate slowed down and you entered a dreamlike state.  The dog's eyes were yellow and looking at you like you were it's next meal.  You were in a trance, the creature having reared up and walking on two legs like a human.  You knew you should have been terrified and run off, but the power keeping you there made that impossible.

You could smell and feel it's hot steamy rank breath as it exhaled on you.  It's fangs were dripping with saliva and you could see it's mouth twisting into an ugly snarl.  It then howled and lunged at you, knocking you over.  The sudden movement snapped you out of the trance and you screamed for help.  The thing clamping down on your arms with its jaws and scratching at your belly with claws so sharp it could cut diamonds.

It would have killed you if someone hadn't blown it's brains out just as it was going in for the kill.  Your neck was exposed and it was about to bleed you dry when you heard a crack of thunder and then a pink misty cloud of blood and brain matter splattered the white rose bushes, painting them a brilliant red.  The shooter stepped forward, a young teen boy right after him. "What should we do about 'er Pa?" asked the boy in a nervous tone.

"Let's put 'er outta 'er misery" the older man cocked the shotgun and pointed it at you.

You had tears running down your face as you tried to speak "Please no..." when you heard more people coming your way with flashlights.

"Damn it!" the older man cursed "Grab the beast boy and hightail it outta here!"  The son did as his father bade, and they left you to bleed.  It wasn't long however when a group of police officers came to your aid and radioed for an ambulance. 

In your blood loss induced state of delirium, you asked "Why did they paint the roses red?  They're gonna lose their heads..." before you finally passed out.

Back at the apartment, they were all getting worried.  They knew where the sex shop was-they all frequented it for condoms and various other sex novelties.  It didn't take two hours to get there and back.  Tommy was pacing around in circles cracking his knuckles."Where the fuck is she?" he felt the worry puke coming on.

"Relax" Nikki tried to reassure him "Maybe there's a long line at the check out counter or something..."

Then the phone blared.  An ominous pressure filled the room as they all stared at it.  When the phone rights at two in the morning, nothing good ever happens.  Tommy picked it up and said "Y/N?"

"No" an unfamiliar voice answered "Is this Tommy Lee?"

"Yeah" he had to steady himself on the table.  From the expression on his face, they all knew it couldn't be good.  They waited in uncomfortable anticipation for more information "Who're you?"

"I am Doctor Finkle from L.A. General.  Do you know a woman by the name of Y/N L/N?"

"Yeah she's my girlfriend" his voice cracked "Is she okay?"

"I cannot say exactly" the sound of papers shuffling "from the police report, it states that she was attacked by a large animal in the park and was just bought into our operating room for emergency surgery.  Please get here as quick as you can..." it sounded like you didn't have much time left, and Tommy bolted for the door without even hanging up the phone or putting shoes on.  The rest of the guys followed him and he filled them in on the way in the car.

When they finally got there, Tommy ran in, knocking over a nurse with a cart full of medicine.  "Y/N L/N!" he wheezed, out of breath "Is she still in surgery?!"

The receptionist typed in your name and your status was stated next to it "Yes, she is.  The O.R. is on the fourth floor.  Please fill out a visitors-" he wouldn't let her finish, him sprinting to the elevator and pressing the buttons repeatedly.  His rational mind knew that pressing the same buttons over and over again wouldn't make the damn thing go faster, but his emotional side was nervously twitching.

"Come on, damn thing..." the others caught up to him as the doors opened and he went in, repeating the previous motions of button mashing the fourth floor button.

A passing orderly was unfortunate enough to be within reaching distance of Tommy's arms.  He grabbed the poor unsuspecting young man and shook him violently "Y/N L/N!  Where is she?!  Where's the fuckin' doctor?!"

Dr. Finkle heard the voice he had spoken to fifteen minutes ago and came out in scrubs, fresh from surgery "Mr. Lee?"

Tommy's head snapped to him and he said "Dr. Finkle?!"

"Yes, that's me.  If you'll stop terrorizing my orderly I can fill you in on your lady friend's condition" Tommy let the trembling man go, offering him an apologetic look.  "The consultation room is this way" he motioned with his hand to a small room that could only fit two maybe three people.

Tommy went in and sat with him while Mick, Vince and Nikki watched from the waiting room trying to read their lips.  Dr, Finkle looked haggard, he had been working all day on idiotic drunkards who had gotten themselves into ridiculous situations.  Most of them were minor injuries, cuts and scrapes that the patients INSISTED were broken bones.  But this woman was the real deal, her blood tests showed no alcohol or any other substances in her system.  She was just a poor soul in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"How is she, Doc?" Tommy's voice cracked, on the verge of tears.

"She's stable" the doctor answered.  Tommy breathed a sigh of relief.  "She lost a lot of blood, but we were able to stop the bleeding and replace what she lost.  She'll be alright, she just needs a few days in here to recover and to make sure she didn't get any diseases of whatever animal attacked her" he took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes.

"What's the damage?" Tommy wanted to be ready for what he was going to see.

"She has extensive bite marks on her arms-most likely defensive wounds-some deep.  She also has claw marks on her chest and abdomen, but those are superficial.  They're not much concern at this time."

Tommy swallowed hard and asked "When can I see her?"

"In about ten minutes.  She's being settled into her room right now.  The anesthesia may last longer than that, but that's to be expected" he took off his glasses and added off the record "you can stay as long as you want.  I recon that you'll be the first person she wants to see when she wakes up..."

"Thanks Doc" he was very appreciative and shook his hand "For taking care of my girl..."

"She's in room 509 on the recovery floor" the doctor added.  She should be settled by the time you get up there" they then parted ways, Tommy grateful for the man who saved his lover's life.

The others got up when they saw him come out, the waiting game being too much for them "How is she?"

"She'll live" Tommy said flatly "Go on back to the apartment, I'll stay with her" they looked at each other uneasily and agreed.

"Do you want us to get you anything before we go?" Mick asked, being uncharacteristically empathetic.

"Nah, I'm good.  I'll just have the shitty coffee and snacks to hold me over" he tried to smile, but it was very weak and unconvincing.  They reluctantly left but they knew he needed alone time with his girl.

You were still in your drugged sleep when he came in.  He thought he'd mentally prepared himself for what he might see, but he was wrong.  Most of your upper body was bandaged up like a mummy, but your head was still visible.  He let out a few whimpers before breaking down like a lost child.  "Y/N...Baby..." he took your hand and held it.  "I'm so sorry...I never should have let you go alone..."

You were starting to wake up then, saying "Don't beat yourself up, Tommy" he jumped, startled at your quick recovery.

"Y/N!" he was both happy and perplexed "How are you awake so soon?!"

"I heard you crying and thought I'd wake my lazy ass up and see what's going on" you smiled at him, still groggy from the drugs.  He was just so happy that you were okay, that he leaned down and gave you the sweetest, softest kiss he ever did.

"I love you" he confessed through his sobs, snot dripping down his face.

"I love you too, Tommy" you reached up to try and clean his face, but you were seeing triple and couldn't tell which Tommy to wipe.

"I got it, Babe" he laughed and wiped his face.

All the tests came back negative for any animal borne diseases, and you were clear to go back to the apartment.  Tommy was there by your side all the while, the guys bringing him clothes and toiletries so he could be clean.  He hated being able to smell himself and it was nasty.

The guys had a small party when you came home, just the five of you and a little welcome home cake.  You thanked them and had a few beers, Tommy leading you away from them to make love to you in a proper fashion.  He gingerly touched your scars and kissed them, You tried to shy away from his touching them but he insisted "They're a part of you now, and I love everything about you..."

"Tommy..." you sighed a ragged breath of carnal desire.  "Fuck me..."

"Don't gotta tell me twice"  you were already so wet from just him touching you that he didn't need to do anything like oral or fingering.  He was rock hard too, so he just slid inside easily.  He let out a gasp of pleasure and commented "Oh fuck baby you're tighter than usual..."

"Well, I have been out of practice for a week" you whispered into his neck before kissing it.  You then felt a strange savage second nature begin to wash over you.  You smelled his blood pumping through his veins.  You wanted him.  His flesh.  His meat.  You were able to push the urge down and he continued to fuck you.

"Jesus Fuckin' Christ" he moaned into your mouth "You feel hotter too..."  he grunted loudly "my dick's on fire...fuck" he had you against the wall, holding onto you tightly.  You turned your ass to him.

"Do me from behind Babe" you groaned and dug your nails into the plaster.  He happily obliged, liking this new angle.  You could hear his balls slapping against your ass gently, serving to draw the both of you closer to your climax.

"Oh God" Tommy gasped, bucking his hips wildly "I'm gonna fuckin' cum..." you quickly pulled away from him and took him into your mouth, deep throating him as he pumped his seed down your gullet.  He held your head in place, his own falling back in exhausted pleasure.

After you had swallowed his semen, you looked up at him and said "Was that hot for you baby?"

"So fuckin' hot Y/N" he was panting "I could feel your nose against my stomach..." he gulped hard "I love it when we try new stuff in the bedroom..." he picked you up and kissed you tenderly.  He was spent, but you hadn't finished.  You didn't care about that, you had your man with you and that's all that mattered.

The next morning, you smelled the sweet aroma of frying meat.  It lulled you out of bed and into the kitchen where Tommy was making breakfast.  "Mornin'!" he greeted, but you didn't answer.  You smelled the raw bacon on the counter and couldn't take your eyes off it.  Your mouth began to water, just the thought of tasting fresh meat driving you mad with ravenous hunger.

You scooped up the raw meat and tore into it like a wild animal, your teeth making it easier to shred than before.  Tommy watched you in amazed horror, then put a hand on your shoulder to stop you from eating raw meat.  You snarled at him, your eyes full of pure rage at having your meal interrupted. "The fuck you want?!" your voice wasn't just your own, but a deep throated. rolling growl.  You were so pissed that he'd interrupt your meal like that!  You imagined ripping out his esophagus and making his intestines your meal but you realized how fucked up that was and calmed down.

He was actually scared to respond at first but he said "Dude, you're eating raw meat...that's got bacteria in it..."

"Erm...right..." you put down the raw meat and looked down "sorry..."

He gave you a strange look, but let it go.

Things went back to normal for a few weeks, then exactly one month after the attack you fell ill.  First, you were burning up and sweating buckets.  Then the vomiting when you had nothing in your stomach.  Everyone thought it was just the flu and they stayed clear of you, Tommy bringing you soup and some crackers.

Then your insides started burning, and the vomiting turned more violent.  It was when you saw blood in the toilet that you started to panic.  "Tommy!  I need-" a new round of blood vomit came but this one actually hurt.  It was then your skin started to itch-like tiny bugs were crawling all over the surface.  You started scratching.

Tommy had heard you call for him, and when he came in the bathroom, he saw you clawing at your arms "Y/N, what the fuck?!" he grabbed a towel "You're bleeding!"

"I'm just so itchy..." you brushed him off and continued to scratch, drawing more blood from your body.

"Fuckin' stop!" Tommy grabbed both your hands to keep you from doing more damage.

"Tommy what the fuck's going on in there?!" Nikki shouted.

He didn't have time to answer, you had stood up, whipped your head back and headbutted him, breaking his nose.  Nikki and Vince burst through the door when they saw the carnage.  They stared speechless, Tommy knocked out on the floor and you bloody with your muscle meat on display.  "T-Bone!" Nikki went to his fallen friend, and you had thrown up blood all over him.

You were then on the ground twitching.  They thought you were having a seizure and Tommy was trying to help you, but then they saw your features begin to change.  Your bones began to break on their own, your skin tore away from your frame, the largest organ of the body unable to contain the new growth.  In it's place, coarse fur and animal skin grew.  Your nose elongated into a snout, fangs protruding  where your teeth once were.

Nikki and Vince didn't wait around to see what was happening next, instead grabbing Tommy and dragging him out of the apartment and hauling ass out of there.  You-or whatever version of you that was followed them down the hallway on all fours.  "Holy shit!" Tommy had woken up and was staring a behemoth of a dog in the face.

The thing had leapt up, ready to completely devour them all when a soft whistling was heard, then a yelp from the animal and then the thing skidded across the floor.  They looked up and saw Mick with a hunting rifle, but a tranquilizer dart in the animal's thigh.  "What the fuck was that?" Tommy asked.

Nikki and Vince looked at each other, unsure to what to say.  They knew what they had saw and weren't on anything that would make them see that.  Mick spoke up and said "That's Y/N.  She's a werewolf" as easily as saying "Pass the fuckin' potatoes".

"What the fuck?" Nikki whispered.

"How do you know?" Tommy looked at Mick.

"Shut up and watch, Drummer" he said, and you started shrinking back to normal size.

"H-how is this possible?" Tommy stumbled back, his broken nose the least of his worries.

"It was on Halloween when she was attacked.  A few of my buddies heard about werewolf activity in the area and decided to check it out" he pulled the dart from your thigh, you giving a small yelp of pain as he did so.

"How do you know all this shit?"  Vince questioned "Werewolves and all that crap are just myths!"

Mick took a long while to respond, but when he did "There are things that go bump in the night, boys.  I'm one of the ones who bump back" he grabbed you by your foot and began to drag you across the floor.

Tommy got up and shouted "Hey!  Where you takin' her?!"

"To a place where she can turn and not hurt anybody" he took you down the stairs, being careful not to smack your head against them.

"You're not takin' my girl anywhere without me!" Tommy grabbed a hold of his arm, but Mick gave his signature glare and he backed off.

"You really want to be around the thing who just tried to eat you?" he asked sarcastically.

"She's not a 'thing' Mick!  She's my girlfriend!"

"Get that nose looked at first, then I'll come back and take you to her.  I promise..."

Tommy let him go, Nikki and Vince having been shell shocked into silence.  After he got cleaned up, Tommy waited for Mick to come back,  When he did, he kept his word and took him to the police station.  "Mick why the fuck are we here?"

"To see Y/N" he gave an unfamiliar hand gesture to a guard and he let them in a secret passage.  At the end of the passage, there was a group of fortified cells with all sorts of giant dogs in them of varying colors and ferocity.  Then at the very end, they saw you in your human form, still knocked out from the drugs.

"What did you shoot her with?" Tommy asked, caressing your face.

"Wolfsbane" Mick answered "It reverses the transformation and makes them sleep it off.  Too much will kill them though" he slipped a freshly dead goat into your cell, to which Tommy gagged.

"How do you know about this Mick?  I mean really?"

"My family have been monster hunters for generations"  he washed his hands of the blood "Going all the way back to Abraham Van Helsing and Dracula" he loaded his shotgun with a round of silver bullets and waited.

"Hey, what are you doin'?" Tommy protested.

"If she wakes up and turns again, then there's no hope for her.  I'm going to put her out of her misery" he cocked the gun.

You woke up a few hours later, still your normal self.  You were confused about your new surroundings.  "Good!  You're awake and you!" Mick smiled warmly.

"What happened?" you asked "Why am I in this dank cell?"

They had explained what happened, you not believing them until you talked to Vince and Nikki, then seeing the damage of the bathroom for yourself.  You certainly didn't want to die or kill anyone, but you couldn't resist the transformation.  "What do I have to do?"

"Keep track of the lunar cycle and lock yourself up in the cells when the full moon comes around" Mick answered "eat all the raw meat you can get to control the hunger."

You looked at Tommy and started to cry.  "Baby what's wrong?" he hugged you close to him.

"I tried to kill you guys" you sobbed into his shirt "I can't be around normal people anymore!"

"Are you breaking up with me?" Tommy whispered quietly.

"No, but I understand if you want to break up with me..."

"Babe, the thought never crossed my mind" he pet your hair.

"You sure?"

"Of course!  If I wanted to leave, I'd be gone by now!" he smiled down at you.  "We just got to get used to the new you..." he grinned into a kiss.  You remembered how great the sex was the last time you did it with him, and that seemed to quell the beast inside you for a moment, but you knew that at any time, your inner wolf could strike and you counted on Mick to put that silver bullet in you before you could harm anyone.