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henrycavillisbae · 4 years

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Summary: Logan ‘Sy’ Syverson, returns from his deployment. Maddy is 29 weeks pregnant with their first child, a girl, conceived the night before Sy was deployed. Sy hasn’t seen Maddy or the bump in person and to say he's excited is an understatement. Written in first person.

Pairing: Captain Syverson x ofc (Maddy Syverson)

Warnings: SMUT! Oral, slight MaleDom/FemSub, Pregnancy Sex, Bad Language, bodily fluids and fluff.

A/N: Hey guys! New around here (not really just been lurking in the background) Hope you enjoy this one shot. Got the name ‘Logan’ for Sy from @littlefreya. For the record I am English and this is set in a America soooo... Also, this is unedited and I'm slightly nervous!

I plodded towards the wardrobe and grabbed one of Sy's tshirts before pulling it over my head. It's one of the only things I can tolerate in this Texan heat and being pregnant. I then waddled downstairs to get some breakfast.

I groaned as a rolled my pregnant self over to climb out of bed. This baby makes me need to wee all the time. A second groan left my lips as I stood up and plodded towards the ensuite to relieve myself. Washing my hands I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair resembled a birds nest. I quickly brushed my hair and teeth before making my way back to the bedroom.

I was greeted by Kal waiting for me by his bowl obviously after his breakfast.

"Okay Bear, I'll feed you" I said leaning down and stroking him, "your daddy is home today and Aika will be in a few days" he waged his tail to this obviously hearing the words 'daddy' and 'Aika'. Kal is an Akita who stays with me while Sy is on deployment, Aika is a German Sheppard that goes on deployment with Sy. This is their last deployment as Aika is retiring and Sy is moving to fire arms training. We found out I was pregnant just after he left for Iraq and as soon as he found out he was on the phone to his boss requested to move. I grabbed Kal's meat and scraped it into his bowl. I opened the door to let Kal out after he'd eaten. He quickly rain outside to do his business after he'd eaten. By then I had made a coffee and some toast and was sat on the sofa. As I was eating my breakfast the baby started to wiggle.

"Well good morning to you" I said rubbing my tummy, Kal running in and rested his head on my tummy, “You’ll finally meet your daddy today dot, and I need ti take you out in a bit Kal” I stroked Kal’s head before he got excited and bounced around. Laughed at him as I checked the time in my phone, 08:43. Sy’s plane landed at 12:03 so I had time to take Kal out quickly and get ready to drive to the airport.

After eating my breakfast I grabbed a pair of shorts and slipped my bra on underneath Sy’s Iron Maiden t-shit. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before shoving my phone in the back pocked of my shorts. Kal was already waiting for me by the door with his lead in his mouth.

“Alright boy, I’m coming” I called to him as I slipped my low top converse onto my slightly swollen feet. I clipped Kal’s lead to his collar and shoved my sunglasses on as I left the house. We walked towards the dog walking park near our house. We haven’t had any rain in a while so the grass resembled straw, tornado season had been and gone and summer was definitely here. Kal was already hot so we wont be having a long walk. In the summer the dogs get walked morning and evening. Kal ran round for 10 minutes or so before he decided he was too hot and wanted to go home.

By the time we reached home it was 10:15. My neighbour Hallie was taking her trash out.

“Morning Maddy” she called over the white picket post fence.

“Hey Hallie” I shouted waving back

“Sy’s back today isn’t he” she asked, I nodded in reponse “I bet you cant wait”

“I really can’t” I replied as I unlocked our large oak door, “I’m looking forward to soneone to help me put my shoes on. Thats becoming difficult” ‘I also need sex’ I thought to myself. I laughed slighty, we had sex a lot. By a lot a mean daily, sometimes maybe 2 or 3 times a day. Yup, I need sex.

“How loge do you have left” Hallie asked referring to my pregnancy.

“Around 12 weeks, Sy is having 6 months off before starting his new role in fire arms trainging, so that will be nice” I said resting my hand on my bump.

“Oh gosh” Hallie exclaimed, “Well look after yourself, we’ll have to all get together for a BBQ when Sy is back and settled”

“Yes we must, see you soon Hallie” I called waving to her as I walked into the house. I herd her shout bye back just as I was about to shut the front door. I unclipped Kal’s lead and he ran off to have a drink as I made my way upstairs to get ready.

I pulled out a floaty ditsy floral midi dress that was fitted at the top. The v shaped neckline and think straps accentuated my large swollen breasts. I laid it on the bed and quickly used the toilet before I sat at my dressing table. I decided to apply a light layer of make up, if I wore too much it woud just melt off of my face in this heat. I let my hair out of it’s top knot and ran my fingers through the curls to make it look presentable. I checked myself in the mirror, my blue eyes sparkled due to the brown eyeshadow I had applied. I applied a thick layer of lip gloss before getting up to get changed.

I pulled off my tshirt and shorts and put on a white lacey thong and my white lacey maternity bra. I walked over to my full length mirror and took a picture of my bump in the mirror making sure the my breasts were obvious. I opened up Sy’s contact and attached the picture with the caption, ‘We can’t wait to see you daddy’. I sniggered before pressing send. Sy will see this before he see’s me and I know it will drive him mad. I pulled my dress on over my head before needing to rearrange it over my bump. I found my strappy wedges before sitting on the bed to put them on. Sy’ was a foot taller then me so I needed all the help I could get with my height. I then made my way downstirs again.

11:07

“SHOOT!” I shouted to myself. I rushed around and grabbed my bag throwing the food I had made for us in it along with the ‘Welcome home Daddy’ sign I had made which was rolled up, my phone, purse and bottle of water. I grabbed the keys to our Ford Ranger and rushed out of the house.

I arrived at the airport at 11:45. I managed to find a place close to the arrivals lounge to park. I spotted ‘Ocres’ girlfriend, Jaimie, sitting in the red chairs of the arrivals lounge. I waved and walked over to her.

“Maddy look at you!” she exclaimed standing up to give me a hug. I hugged her back before sitting down next to her, “How are you?” she asked after she had made herself comorftable.

“Fat and hot” I said laughing, “Still have 12 weeks to go roughly” I rubbed my bump slightly.

“You know, rumour has it that Sy said he would never stop being deployed. You must be a special person as he’s chaging his job role” Jaimie said as I grabbed my sub roll out of my bed to eat. I had made Sy his favourite pasta to eat on the way home. I took a bite and wiped sauce off of my lip before replying.

“And now look at me, fat and horny” I replied laughing, “Pregnancy hormones are no joke”

“Well I’m not surprised you’re married to Captain Big Dick, I’d miss that too” Jaimie said laughing. I had forgotten that’s what they called him. His nickname also didn’t lie. His cock stood proud at about 10 inches when erect, it had a good girth to it too. Thinking of his cock did not make my horniness any better. Jaimie and I sat talking until my phone buzzed. It was a message from Sy.

Don’t think they’ll be staying on for long when I get you home darlin, my cock is already desperate to be inside you.

Who says I’m still wearing them? I replied smirking. Jaimie and I made our way to the arrivals gate and I pulled out the rolled up sign as we waited for our men to appear.

We only waited 10 or so minutes before we saw some soilders arrive and their significant others run up to each other. Jaimie then saw Ocre and ran up to him. Ocre pulled her into his enbraced before kissing her. They then walked over to me hand in hand.

“Maddy” Ocre said greeting me, “Congratulations” he said pulling me into a hug. “Sy hasn’t shut up about you or the baby. Quite sweet really, slightly irritating but mainly sweet” I lauged at Ocres comment. I caughte a glimpse of Sy out of the corner of my eye. He was dressed in his military gear which always made my knees go weak. As soon as he saw me he started to jog towards me, i jogged towards him and we met in an embrace where he picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. He kissed me firmly, with his hands on my ass, I felt the faimiliar flutter in my chest of his kisses.

“God I missed you Darlin,” He whispered to me in his thick Texan accent.

"I missed you to bear" I said kissing him again. He put me down and then nealt down and kissed my tummy.

"Hey there dot, hows my little princess doing in there?" He asked my tummy before kissing it again. She did a little wiggle and Sy's face lit up, "that's amazing" he gasped looking up to my. By now my eyes were starting to leak salty tears.

"She wriggles alot" I said as Sy stood up and pulled me into his chest.

"I love you Darlin'" he said wiping the tears away with his thumbs' "You look so beautiful carrying my daughter" he kissed me tenderly.

"I love you too bear" I whispered into he lips before kissing him again. He threw his bag back over his shoulder and held hand as me made our was over to Ocre and Jaimie.

"Miss Williams" Sy said greeting her, "you look well"

"Call me Jaimie Sy, I am well thank you" she replied greeting him back. We stood and chatted for a little while before we decided to head off.

"Right, I'm off to get laid" Sy announced making me laugh and blush at the same time, "Remember what I said Ocre, put a ring on it. It the best thing you'll ever do"

"Roger captain" he replied, "Oh and dont poke your daughter in the eye with that dick of yours" Si flipped him off as we walked off.

"He's only jealous of my big dick" he started laughing, "You made my trousers very uncomfortable earlier with that picture of yours.

"That was the idea Captain" I said to him smirking, "by the way I've made you your favourite meal to have on the way home"

"Thank you darlin', you're my favourite meal though" he replied smirking.

We arrived at the car and Sy chucked his bags in the back before we both climbed in. I grabbed the food out of my bag for Sy and passed it to him before shoving my bag in the foot well of the car. Sy unbuttoned his military shirt and took it off revealing the white tshirt underneath which he quickly untucked from his trousers.

The drive home took half an hour and you could feel the sexual tension in the car. Sy would glance across at my breasts and shift uncomfortably in his seat which in itself make my pussy tingle.

Whe we arrived by home I grabbed my back before walking up the drive to open the door. Sy soon followed with his bags. Kal barked and ran up to us as we walked through the door. He saw Sy and jumped up at him.

"Hey boy" he exclaimed as he dropped his bags in the hallway and made a fuss over him, "Did you miss me? I missed you too"

I opened the back door for Kal to go out.

"Come on Kal, toilet" I called, he left Sy and ran out into the garden. Sy walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around me placing his hands on my bump. He kisses my neck as he pulled me close. I could feel his already hard cock through his trousers. I rubbed myself up against his crotch earning a groan from him. I turned around and kissed him passionately, his hands travelled to my ass and he massaged each ass cheek.

"I need you Maddy" he groaned into the kiss.

"I know Sy, me too" I moaned back. Kal ran back inside and Sy quickly locked the back door before picking up up the same way he did in the airport, which caused me to squeal and he carried me up the stairs.

He booted our bedroom door open then pushed it shut so we wouldn't get disturbed by Kal. He placed me down gently on the bed before he pulled his tshirt off and climbed between my legs. He hitched my dress up to above my bump. He placed lots of soft tender kisses over my tummy.

"Fuck Maddy, you're so beautiful" he groaned as he rubbed his crotch to relieve some of the built up pressure in there. He quickly pulled my dress off leaving me in just my lacey underwear. "These have grown" he growled as he massaged my tits. I moaned and quickly propped myself up on some pillows as I can't lie on my back for very long.

Sy leant down and kissed me hard, he deepened the kiss by darting his tongue in and out of my mouth. I groaned as he rubbed the outside of my thong with his thigh. His kisses made their way down my body and he stopped at just above the top of my thong. He swiftly removed my thong and kissed my mound. I groaned with pleasure. Sy slipped a finger into my cunt earning a moan from me. He harshly sucked on my clit causing me to gasp and moan. He slid another finger into me and started to finger fuck me quickly. He licked circles around my clit with brief sucks and nibbles that he knows drive me mad. I could already feel my release starting to build up. The familiar burn started in the bottom of my tummy, my legs started to quiver around Sy's head and my cunt started to clench on his fingers. Sy sensed this too as he picked up the pace with his fingers.

"Ohhhh fuuuuckk, Syyyyyyy" I moaned as I tumbled over the edge. I felt him smirk into my pussy as a moaned and convulsed under his touch. He finger fucked me until I came down from my high. He moved up me and kissed me. Our tongues fought for dominance, our teeth clashed in desperation of us wanting to feel complete again. Sy pulled away and rid me of shoes. He then stood at the end of the bed and stripped him self of his trousers, boxers and socks leaving him standing there naked. He'd gotten bigger since being away, obviously been working out more. His beautiful cock stood proud begging for attention so I shuffled down to the end of the bed and took it in my mouth.

"Arg Maddy" he groaned as I started to move my mouth up and down his cock. He laced his left hand through my hair and started to fuck my mouth. I gagged as his cock hit the back of my throat. I relaxed my throat to let Sy's cock down. I swallowed against his cock causing him to buck his hips and groan at the same time.

Suddenly Sy pulled away. He wiped away the dribble and precum from my chin. Before kissing me and pushing me back down on the best the best he could without putting pressure on my bump.

"I was about to cum Darlin', lord knows I need to paint your walls with my seed. 6 months is too long" he growled into my ear, "get on all fours" he ordered as he flipped me onto my front. He knelt on the bed and lined himself with my entrance. Slowly he pushed his throbbing cock into my pussy.

"Oh Sy" I gasped as his cock stretched my pussy walls. He stilled briefly as I got used to the size of him again, "Sy please, move" I begged.

"As you wish Darlin'" he quickly unclipped my bra which I threw to the floor, before he started to thrust in and out of me. "Ohhh Maddy, I've missed this pretty little cunt of yours" he groaned behind me.

Sy fucked me quick and hard. The same way that got me pregnant. The new sensation of my heavy tits slapping my bump and my nipples brushing the comforter turned me on even more. Neither of us were going to last much longer. Sy's thrusts were becoming less paced and more erratic. My body started to convulse in his grasp.

"Cum with me Darlin'" he grunted as my cunt started to tighten around his cock. He smacked my ass my orgasm hit.

"Unnggggg Syyyyyy" I moaned my cun convulsed around his cock. I felt myself squirt around his cock and onto his stomach. I could hear my juices squleching around as he fucked me to his release.

"AARGHH MADDY!" He called as I felt him still inside me. I felt his cock throb against my g-spot

"FUCK" I shouted loudly still riding my orgasm. I squirted again as he involuntarily fucked his cum into me causing me to convulse in his grasp. He held he tight to stop my legs from given out as my orgasm shook my body. He hissed as my cunt milked the very last of his cum out of his now sensitive semi hard cock.

I rolled onto my side and lay there panting. Sy collapsed down on the bed next to me. I laughed as my breathing started to become more normal.

"What?" Sy asked pulling my close so I was using his chest as a pillow.

"Nothing, I just love you that's all" I said leaving a soft kiss on his nipple.

"I love you both too" he said kissing the top of my head and stroking the side of my bump, our baby. "I'm never leaving my two girls again, ever" he muttered into my hair. He pulled the thin sheet over us and I felt my eyelids go heavy. We both drifted off into a content afternoon sleep. I think we might knew we would be needing as much energy as we could now Sy is back.

#captain syverson #henry cavill #fanfic #henry cavill x ofc #fanfiction #pregnant #sand castle

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coureirsix · 3 years

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supernatural season 16 episode 4 - “lifeline” | ao3 link

it's roughly 11 PM on january 23rd when dean gets a call from eileen. he'd been out of the bunker with jack and cas for nearly three days; they'd taken jack to an amusement park. something about never seeing one before which reminded dean the last time he'd ever been to one, he was three years old and didn't remember a thing. which was fine, except that jack had wanted to go to six flags. he'd said something about finding old commercials with a dancing old man and the closest one was in kentucky. naturally, this wasn't an issue with dean. he'd driven farther for less, but on the way back he'd begun to realize that as he got older, the drives took more out of him.

they'd gotten back earlier that afternoon and had spent most of the day lounging around until the exhaustion got the better of them at around nine. well, except jack. who could have just driven back to kentucky if he wanted to. cas made sure he didn't want to. so, it's saturday night, cas is breathing deeply beside him, completely asleep, jack is probably watching TV in the dean-cave, and dean has been drifting in and out of sleep for the past 20 minutes when his phone buzzes to the tune of the Call Me Maybe song. it's the tone he'd set up for eileen because, well, she never calls. so, when she does call, it's usually an emergency flare that's followed up with an explanatory text.

dean's eyes shoot awake and he watches the call miss as he waits a second for eileen's message to come in.

dean, sam broke the tub. he can't get the hot water to stop running. SOS. please, my hair is disgustingly humid. his too.

and dean laughs. it was an emergency, but the kind that didn't have him spiraling into a depression. that was... almost nice, he thinks. they have normal people problems now. he leans over to where cas is asleep beside him and cas' trained as well as dean is. he stirs awake with the movement and opens his eyes in a half-awake gesture.

“sam’s in trouble,” dean says with a smile. cas’ eyes shoot open, but dean’s demeanour doesn’t change, instead he follows up with, “he.. broke his bathtub somehow.”

cas squints. dean laughs some more and gets himself out of bed. he’s gotta find the little duffel bag that they’d dedicated to tools that didn’t include weapons of mass destruction. it shouldn’t be too hard to find. the last time they’d used it was when sam actually broke a door off its hinges.

“i’m going back to sleep,” cas says, turning over as dean redresses. and dean laughs again. cas was grumpy when he was exhausted. it was endearing.

it doesn’t take him too long to get ready to leave the bunker. he finds the duffel bag underneath the bathroom sink and before he knows it, he’s pulling out of the bunker’s vicinity in the impala and headed toward sam and eileen’s place. the issue with them is they live roughly 45 minutes away. he texts eileen back, letting her know he’s on his way.

and dean thinks, as he drives over. that it’s his birthday tomorrow. well- he checks his phone, it’s basically his birthday. sunday january 24th, 2021. he didn’t think he’d live this long. he was the answer to the universe now, technically. 42. he looks down at his hands on the wheel. they’re worn. they’re the hands of a tired man who fought multiple apocalypses, multiple archangels, god himself. and won.

he takes a deep breath and thinks about sam. he loves his little brother more than he can ever explain. it’s unhealthy, probably, how much he’d done to save sam from everything. death, despair, sam himself that time he lost his soul. dean was there and willing to bleed for whatever sam needed. and he knew sam would always do the same. it was comforting. and even moreso now that they’d decided to take some time to really asses what was best for either of them. sam let himself want his apple pie life again. and it was the happiest day of dean’s life to see his little brother decorating the house he’d leased with eileen.

dean doesn’t hunt fulltime anymore. he’ll do an odd ghost job here and there, but mostly he mans the phones. he’s now FBI Supervisor Agent Harkness, police chief Richard Grayson, at cas’ request Texas Ranger Dean Swift, and at jack’s request Marlo Bridgers.it’s a living, he thinks. he still helps out other hunters and he passes off the bigger jobs to the younger people that’ve unfortunately ended up in the hunting life.

mostly, though, he and cas have been making up for lost time. they go out on dates. dates, like embarrassing 15 year olds. he’s taken cas to the movies, they’ve gone for walks at the mall. dean held cas’ hand under a tree and it was the most incredible thing in the world.

it’s embarrassing, it’s enough to make himself blush at the memory of it, but it’s also nice in that same breath. it brings him a sense of peace like he’s never fully properly known. because it’s about trust. and not trust in cas, not trust in himself, hell, the trust has nothing to do with either of them. it has to do with the fact that dean has finally let himself trust that things are going to be okay. that no matter what happens, he’s going to be okay.

and that’s what he thinks about when he’s sitting across from cas at the baskin robbins. that they’re safe. that things are okay. because they are, dean’s earned that much through his own tears and blood.

the sound of wind hitting the impala as he drives down the highway closer to sam and eileen is the melody to the memories of his life as it has been since they got rid of chuck and jack put god’s power back into the universe.

he pulls into the driveway of sam’s cookie cutter house. he’s in the middle of the driveway but dean doesn’t care and he knows neither sam nor eileen would care either. besides, the impala outshines the two normal cars they drive. he grabs the duffel bag and heads for the door, waiting for a second before the door clicks and he sees eileen in a crack in the door. he smiles at her.

“dean!” she says, visibly excited. dean keeps his smile on his face and waves, unsure why she’d be so excited that he’s here at practically midnight to fix her bathtub. she reaches out to grab his wrist and pull him into the house. she leads him through dark down the little hall that dean knows leads into the bathroom. dean notices there is no humidity in the house.

“eileen? is everything-” dean starts to ask when the lights flick on, blinding dean for a second before it clicks that it’s a party. it’s a party at midnight for him.

he sees jody, donna, alex, claire and kaia. sam and bobby among several other hunters dean had come to know. it’s a full house, yet dean notices the lack of jack and cas. there’s a stack of presents in a corner behind the kitchen, a cake with a single candle on the table. claire is approaching him with a party hat in her hands and an evil look on her face. dean glances over at eileen, who’s beaming at him. she knows what she did. led zeppelin comes through a little speaker in the corner, not too loud, but loud enough that its ambiance music now.

dean lets himself get wrapped in a hug from claire and then lets her put the hat on him before sam approaches him.

“this your idea?” dean asks. sam grins, but shakes his head.

“no, actually. i wanted to do it tomorrow morning. show up at the bunker with everyone, but, i know someone with worse intentions than me who said that tricking you into coming here at the moment of your birthday would be something you couldn’t see coming,” sam opens his arms and dean lets himself fall in. he hugs his little brother back and the emotions from earlier come back. he and sam were alive. dean’s greatest achievement in life was keeping sam alive and now here he was, reaping the benefits.

he goes through similar motions with everyone. jody gives him a hug and then leans up to kiss him on the temple. donna squeezes him so hard he swears his insides are flattened.

after a few moments of getting caught up with everyone, sam sits him down at the table where the cake is. dean rubs his hands, ready to light the candle in it when sam makes this “uh-uh” sound. dean looks up at him in confusion when eileen brings over a pie with those large novelty number candles set into it. 42 sure was a year.

dean sits there in the obligatory hot seat as everyone gathers around and sings him happy birthday. it’s awkward, it makes him blush and tears well up in his eyes, although nobody can really see it through the dimmed lights. and he looks around and his smile saddens a bit. he should have told cas to come with him. did sam not think to text jack?

he goes through the motions and cuts the first slice of the pie for himself and passes off the pastry to sam and eileen who take care of passing out the rest of it and the cake that’d been there. dean looks around, hoping cas and jack had been right behind him as sam brings him over a whiskey. it goes down ridiculously smooth. sam mentions he ran one last credit card scam for $3,000 whiskey for this. dean laughs and asks for another.

the night winds down fairly quickly, given it’s nearly three in the morning by the time everyone’s settled down into a less partying mood. dean ends up sitting outside with sam in some lawn chairs from walmart in sam’s cookie cutter back yard. eileen’s gone to bed and most everyone has gone home by then.

“you ever think we’d live this long?” sam asks.

“nope,” dean says without hesitation, “sammy, you died when you were twenty two. i died at twenty seven? twenty eight? god, i don’t even remember.”

“and those were just the first times,” sam says with an incredulous laugh.

“shit,” dean laughs with him, “yeah.”

“and we got out,” sam says. there’s a satisfaction in his voice that makes every single time dean died or did anything stupid for sam worth it. it’s a tone that dean knows means sam is happy. and that’s it, that was dean’s goal.

“we did,” dean agrees, taking another sip of the whiskey, “we beat hell, we beat heaven, we beat purgatory, we beat god.”

“kicked god’s ass,” sam affirms, “we get to choose what we want to do now. we write our own destiny now.”

dean reaches over and outstretches his glass. sam meets him halfway and they toast to that. dean watches sam pull his phone out and send off a quick text message. probably eileen telling him to go to bed.

they sit in silence for a while. and sam’s phone vibrates. dean watches him check it and not respond. trouble in paradise? he doubts it, but he doesn’t really know every single thing about sam anymore.

“i know you’re gonna tell me to shut up, but i do have to say, dean. thank you,” sam looks over at him.

“for?” dean asks.

“for everything, man,” sam has this look on his face like he’s going to cry, “you raised me. you were always there for me. im thirty eight, nearly sixteen years overdue if you hadn’t sold your soul to save me. i’m who i am because of you, and i like to think i’m in pretty good shape. and you, dean. i’m so proud of you. you’re the strongest person i’ve ever met. and i love you, and i’m happy that it was you that i got to have be my big brother.”

dean actually cries, but he turns around so that sam can’t see it. he composes himself in a second and turns back. he doesn’t have it in him to fight sam on the emotional distress this is causing him. instead he says, “thanks, sam. i’m glad i got to be your big brother, too.”

sam’s phone buzzes again. he checks it again and this time does respond. he sighs and looks over at dean again, “i gotta go. eileen says the bed is too cold.”

dean huffs a laugh and nods, “go fix that.”

sam nods and gets up. dean hears the door that leads back into the house slide open and then slide shut. and dean is left with himself at the end of it all. he sighs. he’s happy, he thinks.

and then he hears an unmistakable flutter.

“dean!” he hears jack yell. it’s louder given it’s three in the morning and most people in this neighbourhood are asleep.

“i’m so sorry,” jack says, rushing up to dean’s side, “we were planning to be there for the cake but it wasn’t ready and we kept trying to fix things-”

“fix what?” dean asks, curiously. he’s not mad.

“the-” jack stops short, looking behind dean. and dean realizes the missing piece of his birthday puzzle has to be behind him.

and he is. the angel castiel is standing behind dean on the cement part of the patio a few feet back, wearing one of dean’s old band tshirts under his trench coat. and there’s a book in his hands.

“happy birthday, dean,” cas says, a little smile on his face.

dean gets up. his foot nearly kicks the whiskey glass he set down with the speed he gets up at. and he doesn’t waste any time in grabbing the sides of cas’ face and pressing the most heartfelt, loving, tender kiss dean has ever given anyone in his life. there’s a warmth that always seems to be radiating from cas and dean wants to stick to it like a leech.

when he pulls back, cas keeps the little smile on his face and hands dean the book. it’s a photo album, he realizes, once he takes it and opens it. there’s- there’s baby pictures of him there. things that were surely lost in the fire in lawrence. as he flips through the album, he finds pictures of him and sam growing up. things nobody had ever photographed before, he’s pretty sure. at one point he finds a picture of him at age twelve, lying on roof of the impala.

“cas,” dean asks, in completely disbelief, “where did you get these?”

“i did!” jack says coming from behind dean in an awkward hug from behind, “i can still tap into the power of god if i want to. it wasn’t hard to pop into different points of your life and just take a picture.”

dean turns back and pulls jack forward to pull him into a better hug as he laughs. that’s somehow the craziest thing he’s ever heard.

“happy birthday, dad,” jack says. and he tenses against dean.

“did you just call me dad?” dean asks.

“no,” jack lies.

“right,” dean says, a grin on his face that he looks up and notices that cas shares.

“well, it’s kinda creepy that you existed for a second at different points in my life, but i love it, jack. a walk down memory lane, shit and all. i love it, thank you, son” and he leans down to press a kiss against the top of jack’s head.

“this what kept you?” dean asks cas as jack lets go and says he’s heading inside.

cas nods and he says with a little shrug, “it seemed like a kind gesture. i sort of gave him points to land on. that way he didn’t land in the middle of a hunt or something. i’m sorry, dean.”

dean shakes his head and goes to set the book down on the chair he’d been sitting in and he walks back over to cas. where cas is standing, there’s a cement step between the cement patio area and the grass that dean and sam had been sitting in. it makes it so cas is a few inches taller than dean.

dean finds himself turning around so that cas can come around him, head coming to rest on dean’s shoulder and his arms coming around dean’s middle.

“thought you were supposed to be sleeping,” dean says with a mocking tone.

“and miss your forty-second birthday?” cas asks, turning to press a kiss to the side of dean’s face. they look up at the sky and dean wonders how exactly he got there. there’s a feeling in his chest that he doesn’t understand, but he knows what it is. it’s peace, it’s happiness.

“i have a speech prepared for you,” cas says softly. his hands tap at dean’s stomach and dean brings up his own hands to cover them.

“right, right. something about how my eyes glitter like the moon?” dean asks, his tone is still jokey.

“something like that,” cas says, “and moreso how you’ve been the world’s lifeline and how i’m so happy you’re finally thinking of yourself.”

dean’s heart sinks a little as cas continues.

“you know sam loves you, you know your friends love you. you know that i love you with the wrath of heaven behind me. and somehow that doesn’t compare to the happiness i feel now that i know that you finally love you.”

dean’s face goes completely red. the warmth is different from the warmth of the next kiss that cas places against his cheek again.

“thank you,” he chokes out, voice breaking because he’s started crying again, “i... i don’t have heaven. but i love you with the power of a guy who fought god.”

cas laughs, “and won,” he adds.

dean’s blush comes down a little and he leans back just a little, so he can turn and meet cas full on in another kiss before turning back to look out at the normal neighbourhood sam’s found himself in.

“do you think we could do something like this? cookie cutter house. you me and the kid?” dean asks.

“if you think you’re prepared to let the bunker go, i don’t see why not,” cas responds.

the thought of turning the bunker’s lights out for good makes dean feel a certain kind of way. still, though. now it’s a thought that’s popped into his head. who knows.

for now, he’s content to stand there with his angel, looking out at the other backyards, at the stars while their respective kids sleep in the house.

#deancas #deancasfic #destielfic #HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAN #what's up it's 2 am and ive got WORMS in my brains #but this is cute.. i think.#.txt

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haylanmakesstuff · 4 years

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Day 1 & 2 of my 21 day Skeksis Costume Build

I usually work as a seasonal Interpretive Ranger for outdoor agencies, like National Parks and Forests, and last year when I got back from working all the way across the country from my home, I had less than a month to pull a Halloween costume off! I always make my costumes from scratch (except things like shoes, but I often alter them, etc.)

I wasted about a week of my time debating what I should do. I had a few ideas but I wasn’t crazy about them. I often feel like I need to be CRAZY excited about whatever I make. When I didn’t work during the summers out of state, I would often start my costumes any time between late June and early August depending on how ambitious it was. Now I had less than a month!

I had been watching The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance and was thinking about how since I was a little kid I’ve always wanted to make a Skesis costume. Then I realized – I didn’t have a job or anywhere to be until school started, so why not go nuts and make one in just 21 days? I did just that. I took pictures along the way to be able to show how I did it…now welcome to the first post detailing the experience!

Also, I had posted about this costume on a Halloween Costume Club I used to run as a Facebook group and actually had people being jerks about it. I am not here for your negativity. I am here to share my process and love of crafting with others, and I am happy to answer questions, too. No, you don’t have to make this costume or anything in just 21 days, even I would usually start months in advance and only work on it intermittently for a better product, I just didn’t have that option in 2019. But please, I’m here to share the happiness of crafting, not to hear how stupid you think my hobbies are.

First, the end game:

Now, let’s back up 21 days and start from the beginning. I kept a calendar with notes on what I worked on because I eventually wanted to go back and make this post. Currently (July 2020) I am updating the costume for a second Halloween (if that happens during this pandemic) and those updates will be the last post of this series. Enjoy!

DAY 1: OCTOBER 10TH

Today I worked on the head/face, and eyes. Go big or go home, because if I couldn’t make the most important part of the costume, then the rest is cancelled. I first gathered a bunch of screen shots of Chamberlain from the new Netflix show, googled images of the character, the puppet, and models. I started the head and completed that process before I realized I liked Skekso’s character design WAY more than The Chamberlain. And I had seen Chamberlain done several times before online and realized I wanted to take on a new challenge. That’s why you’ll notice the head shape is that of Chamberlain and not of The Emperor. That morning I went to craft stores and hardware stores and got the stuff I would need to start off. This would mean many trips to these places, and since I live in a partially rural area, it’s a drive for me so I try to limit these visits so I don’t waste all my creating time driving. You’ll see each material listed as we go along.

First, here is Skekso, The Emperor from Dark Crystal; Age of Resistance, so you know what he looks like from the source material. If you haven’t seen this show, obviously I would recommend it, and would tell you start with the show, not the movie from the early 80’s, because the show is a prequel. I think to new viewers the movie may be more exciting if you see some of the back story on why it’s happening.

So now to the build:

1.) I started with plastic craft mesh in white to make a skull shape:

I used a paper pattern so my sized would line up correctly, etc. You’ll notice I’m not only terrible at math, but I absolutely hate it. Not a great quality for a Maker and I have to compensate A LOT for my lack of math love and skills. I missed a lot of school growing up and never actually learned stuff like long division until college, so….make do! Our weaknesses and flaws won’t end us, we just find a way around them.

2.) Once I got the plastic mesh pieces the right shapes, I glued them together with hot glue, very carefully. I cut out a spot for the eyes making sure the future-eyes that were still ping pong balls fit snuggly. Notice all of my shopping and material decisions are heavily reliant on being light weight – I’m only 5’2 and not very strong, I knew I couldn’t pack a 50 pound costume around all night. I can keep my carry-on bags under 20 pounds usually, so I was confident in tricking this costume to be as light as possible.

3.) Next, I used upholstery foam from the craft store (look in the furniture/upholstery section) to coat the mesh skull with without any contours, etc. That will all come later. I also made my favorite 3 ingredient pumpkin cookies that are the BOMB. Let me know if you want the very short recipe.

4.) After I had all the basic forms of foam where I needed them and hot glued on, I started carving out the foam into the various shapes and valleys to look like Skekso. This took a long time and make a crazy mess, so beware if you have pets, roommates, or husbands – you’ll owe them some of those cookies to put up with your bull.

5.) Then, I started on the eyeballs. Keeping it lightweight, I used regular old ping pong balls.

In the background, to the left of this picture, you’ll see a yellowish-hand. During this time I was also making a Halloween Decoration/Party Decoration; a full size Dementor from Harry Potter, for my yard for the month of October, and for November when I have an annual Hogwarts Feast; both of which I will showcase on here later! I liked these hands so much I ended up adapting a fancier version for this Skekso costume, so more on that later.

DAY 2: OCTOBER 11TH

Face, teeth, eyes, and head dress.

1.) Today I continued painting the eye balls, giving a base coat of off white, painting the iris and pupil, and veins. I used acrylic for all of this, but dipped the reds and pinks in water before using tiny brushes and toothpick points to create the veins. I actually glued a part of a wooden skewer (thicker than a toothpick) short, maybe 1.4 inches at most, to the back of the eyeball so I would always have something to hold onto without messing up the paint job. I figured this would be handy when gluing it into the head later, and it was.

I also continued the carving of the foam on the head from yesterday, finally getting it where I wanted it, ready for the next stage.

2.) Next, I drew dark spots of different sizes on the jaws of the head to see how many of what size teeth I wanted Skekso to have. I used a picture as reference and got it as close as I could. Counted how many large, medium, and small teeth there were, so I knew how many to make.

Then, clearly, it was important that I sang him a little song of encouragement. It could be reenacting that scene from Alien 4 that’s so darned sad too, hard to say.

Now I know what you are wondering: What the heck am I wearing on my head? No, I don’t have a mushy skull like a bitty baby, I’m actually preparing myself to get used to the helmet that will be used for the costume later. I am not sure how heavy it will be, so I want to get used to the bike helmet, and you’ll see later I slowly add some weight to it. Yeah, I look kinda crazy, but at least I got to do it in my own home. And I am not superhero Christine McConnell – I never dress in anything but slouchy pajamas for the most part if I’m heavy into a crafting project. I want comfort and not to ruin everything I own because shit gets messy!

3.) Now that I know how many and what sizes teeth I need, time to make them. I bought a shit ton of Crayola Modeling Magic for this costume because it’s lightweight and I am used to using it. I used only white, mold it how I want it, then it dries for at least 24 hours for these little teeth. Anything bigger will add time – you’ll see more made of this later. Here are the little teeth on a pretty platter to dry:

4.) Now time for more work on the head: I painted the mesh inside of the mouth black so it couldn’t be seen once the head is done. The mouth will be slightly open so you can see the teeth. If I had more time, I would have made a tongue, to.

5.) First unexpected fix: when working on the head I noticed I didn’t like how wide part of it was, between the eyes. The head already is Chamberlains head shape instead of The Emperor, so I used a stitch through the middle to pull in the eyes, making the bridge of the nose narrower.

That’s all for today! And it was a lot. Come back for more posts about my journey through the Cliffs of Insanity to build this Skeksis costume in 21 days. Happy Halloween All Year!

#skeksis #skeksi costume #cosplay #costuming #the dark crystal #jim henson #muppet shop #netflix #age of resistance #the emperor #skekso #halloween #halloween costume #haylan makes stuff #craft foam #quick build #maker #crayola #crayola model magic

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bobcatmoran · 4 years

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So that’s the end of week two (plus one day) of teleworking. I’ve been out (as in “have actually gotten in a car and driven somewhere” and not “have gone for a walk down that one weird path by my apartment that I usually don’t take but it’s very wide and almost no one uses it so it works for social distancing”) a whole three times since then — twice to do inspections of agricultural products being exported because, as my old coworker would say, “The trade must flow!” and once to replenish my supply of groceries and sundry necessities such as shampoo and pick up some meds since I was at Target anyhow.

(cut for your dashes’ sake and because this is not Livejournal)

The inspections are…weird. Usually there’s a decent amount of awkward chit-chat with whoever’s exporting the stuff, but these have all been cases where I communicate over email and we figure out “This is where you will leave your shipment of stuff for me to inspect and that is where I will leave your phytosanitary certificate.” So I go into the warehouse or office, don’t encounter another living soul, look at the product to verify it doesn’t have any pests or diseases of agricultural concern, drop off the certificate on an empty desk or shelf, and then leave.

As for the teleworking, there’s been a lot of firsts. First Microsoft Teams experience. First time using the video chat feature of Skype in a business setting. First time signing compliance agreements digitally because magically after years of being told, “No, you have to have physical copies signed in ink,” suddenly digital signatures are ok. First time taking an actual monitor home from the office, which they finally let us do earlier this week, thank goodness. And thank goodness I had to go into the office anyway to get inspection equipment because otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to bring one home.

And first time using Zoom, which I used to video chat with my sibs and my parents, the latter who went to Palm Springs for the winter and had originally planned to be heading home rightas things took a turn for the worse. They’re still there and don’t know when they’ll be back at this point, because they don’t want to travel at this point. One of my sibs is thankfully one of the few food service workers still employed full-time since they work for a commercial bakery that supplies a lot of the local smaller groceries. He can also get me flour, which is AWESOME since I’m the sort of person who’s been baking their own bread for the past decade and a half (if you want any tips or recipes, feel free to hit me up)

Other sib is, unfortunately, in job limbo right now since his new position as a higher-up at an NYC arts institution was supposed to be starting this week. He’s still got the job offer, thankfully, and has a bit of a savings cushion, but his start date has been been pushed forward to ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Thankful I still have a job and probably will for the duration unless all international trade comes to a halt. And it’s actually not the first time I’ve been in a situation like this. My first summer out of college, I worked for a very isolated National Parks Service unit in southeastern Idaho. I was the last seasonal to leave by about two months and there was exactly one person who lived within 20 miles after the other seasonals had left — the park’s sole law enforcement ranger, who had a reputation for being very severe and standoffish. I had no TV reception, no cell reception, no internet unless I went into the office after hours in which case all my internet usage would be monitored because it was on a government computer. And town was 20 miles away. A town with a population of over 1000 was a good 50 miles away.

So, I figure, if I made it through that (I read SO MANY books from the tiny local library and played SO MUCH Game Boy Advance), I’ll be ok with this, where I have a lot more in the way of personal connections.

#life outside the internet #bobcat this isn't livejournal #coronavirus #covid19 #just to be safe

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glaciernps · 5 years

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Interview with a Ranger

By Melissa Sladek

Chuck Cameron with pack horse Siyeh.

Experienced, knowledgeable, dedicated—seasoned. These words float through my head as I spend the day with long-time resource protection ranger Chuck Cameron. I often wonder what it is about Glacier that keeps folks coming back year after year. What is it about this place that creates such dynamic employees dedicated to protecting this landscape and all that lies within? For Cameron, as it is for many long-time Glacier National Park employees, it seems that working here means something more. Glacier’s beauty draws people in, but its essence seems to keep them here.

Glacier does have extraordinary qualities that make it special, but for folks like Cameron, those features are just a piece of the story. Chatting with him, I find that part of what makes this place special to Cameron are the memories—his memories. Memories of youth, memories of special bonds, memories of first-time experiences. This place allows for those memories to happen. For those memories to stand out. For those memories to last a life time. And they provide the fuel for creating the dedicated stewards that Glacier is known for.

Cameron begins his career in Glacier on the park’s trail crew.

Undoubtedly, Cameron is one of those stewards. Arriving in 1982, Cameron began his thirty-eight year career in Glacier on the park’s trail crew. For six years, he served the park and its visitors by clearing and maintaining trails, creating new ones, and even clearing the forty-mile boundary swath that separates the United States and Canada along the Waterton-Glacier border. After attending law enforcement academy, he switched gears and began a nine-year stint patrolling Glacier’s majestic Belly River area as a commissioned backcountry ranger.

He then moved to the Lake McDonald area, patrolling its backcountry for a season before being hired in 1998 to Glacier’s Bear Team—a team of law enforcement officers who dealt with wildlife issues, particularly bear-related incidents. The Bear Team also took care of routine law enforcement work—conducting traffic stops, enforcing rules, writing tickets—but they were given additional training in wildlife management, allowing them to work with bear biologists to move, capture, drug, and collar bears.

In 1998, Cameron joined Glacier’s Bear Team.

For twenty years, Cameron came back season after season, balancing his work in the winter on ski patrol, with his work protecting Glacier’s resources and visitors in the summer. Through the years, Cameron accrued unique skillsets, making him invaluable as a protection ranger. One of those skillsets includes search and rescue—one of the more challenging tasks rangers face. Cameron has been involved in most of the significant search and rescue incidents over the past four decades. He explains that these incidents become a mind game of sorts, piecing together where the lost individual may have gone and why…looking for clues as to their whereabouts. Cameron goes on to state that search and rescues are challenging, not just physically, but mentally—especially when the incident is a body recovery. Often, body recoveries mean family or friends are on scene, and seeing the impact on those who survive a tragic loss is one of the more difficult parts of the search.

I ask Cameron if there is a particular search and rescue that stands out in his memory. He reflects for a moment and begins to tell me a remarkable story. In 2008, a hiker on a solo, ten-day backcountry trip went missing. Once the hiker’s family reported him missing, park personnel and other search and rescue professionals began a search for him. It was quickly determined that the hiker never made it to his first campsite at Sperry Campground. Roughly 50 search and rescue personnel were sent to explore all trails on the hiker’s itinerary, but soon, an area of Glacier known as Floral Park became the primary focus of the search. After weeks of looking, the search was scaled back. And, although for most, the search seemed dead, Cameron informs me that for him, no missing person case is over until solved.

Cameron searches for the missing hiker in the Sperry Glacier Basin.

It is this attitude that allowed Cameron and fellow rangers to finally find closure to this case three years later. Cameron’s excitement level rises as he tells me of the remarkable series of events that occurred during the spring of 2011. Pulled over at Moose Country, an area along the Going-to-the-Sun Road west of Avalanche Campground, Cameron sat conversing with another protection ranger. A visitor who had just been exploring above Avalanche Lake saw the two rangers and pulled over. During his explorations, the hiker found a pair of long underwear along with a piece of blue nylon fabric buried in the gravel of a dry creek bed. Uncertain if these items were of any importance, the visitor asked Cameron if he wanted to see them. Instantly, a light flickered in Cameron’s brain. The location of the items and their description set off alarm bells of the missing hiker of three years back. Cameron took the evidence, and the next day went into the area described by the visitor.

At the base of a couloir, lying 3,000 feet below the top, Cameron and his co-worker found more evidence. More blue fabric (matching the description of the hiker’s windbreaker), cooking gear, sleeping pad—all items matching the contents of the hiker’s gear list. As the snow continued to melt that spring, additional pieces of evidence were found, including some of the hiker’s bones. Cameron surmises that the hiker either fell and died or got hurt and could not be seen by search personnel. But, he adds, “Without a doubt, if the visitor had not picked up the items or stopped to show them to him, this story may not have had an end.” An ending that is invaluable to not just the missing hiker’s family members, but also for those who, like Cameron, never truly stop a search until it is solved.

Listening to the many stories Cameron shares with me, I am transfixed by the breadth of experience and the interesting things Cameron has done throughout his career. But it’s his memories of the place, the wildlife, and the people that stir me. The early adventures of working and exploring in Glacier’s backcountry; the stories of bear captures—when everything went right, and when it did not; the feeling of a grizzly bear underneath his hands; the excitement and relief of finding missing hikers; and the life-long bonds Cameron established with fellow trail crew members during his first years in the park. These memories stand out. They are a part of Cameron, of who he is and why he is still here.

youtube

These days, he is doing what he enjoys most—protecting Glacier’s wilderness. In 2018, Cameron gave up his law enforcement commission and became the Lake McDonald backcountry ranger once again. Instead of traffic tickets and road patrols, his days are now filled with hiking the majestic terrain that caught his attention all those years ago. But the job is more than patrolling the trails. Cameron also maintains backcountry campgrounds, clears trails, pulls weeds, and educates backcountry users on rules, regulations, and leave no trace policies. Each day is filled with a feeling of satisfaction, knowing that his work protects the resources of this incredible place.

****

The last breath of morning falls away to the heat of day as Cameron and I step out from his truck and head toward the horse corral. Here the horses are enjoying their time off, and except for the occasional flutter in activity from those stating their place in the pecking order, they seem relaxed and perhaps hopeful for another duty-free day. Unfortunately for a horse called Siyeh, his number is up.

Tomorrow, Cameron will need him. He’s taking Siyeh and a couple of mules to haul out old campground materials from the park’s backcountry site at Fifty Mountain. Today’s preparation includes loading the manties (big pieces of canvas used by horse packers to wrap supplies in) for tomorrow’s adventure. Not surprisingly, Cameron harbors another skillset—the art of packing. He learned how to care for and use stock in the wilderness while working as the Belly River ranger.

Cameron loads up a mantie with supplies for his backcountry trip.

I watch as he quickly, but carefully wraps the rectangle piece of canvas around odd-shaped boxes and equipment, packaging it perfectly to keep the rain out. Cameron informs me that this skill is a bit of dying art for rangers in the field. With higher visitation, more time is put into managing traffic incidents and problems in the park’s front country, making it less likely for rangers to learn skills such as these. He feels lucky that he has had such a diverse career filled with unique opportunities to help manage the park’s wilderness as he explains, “I’m always amazed that I have this job. I’ve never lost sight of how lucky I am. I’ve gotten paid to do a lot of really cool things in this park.”

After the manties are packed and ready for the next day’s journey, we head into the field. As we drive along the sparsely traveled, dusty Inside North Fork Road, Cameron reflects on his time in Glacier. In a way, his career has almost come full circle. He may not be forging new trails with his crew high up on a mountain pass, but he is still taking care of the park’s backcountry…trails, people, wildlife, and all. And, he is still making memories, not to mention revisiting old ones—of special times he has had with special people in a special place.

NPS Photos/Video

[Top image: Ranger stands next to a horse, smiling for the camera. Second image: Man in rain gear stands on trail holding a shovel. Third image: Ranger squats next to drugged grizzly bear. Fourth image: Man with backpack and ropes stands on a rock ledge. Video image: Ranger looks into camera. Fifth image: Ranger folds canvas material.]

[Video description: Video shows Cameron talking about his career in Glacier along with pictures of him throughout the years.]

#park ranger #search and rescue #bears #backcountry #horse packing #Glacier National Park #glaciernps #manties

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mythologymonsterlover · 5 years

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Male! Akhlut lover Pt.1

A new story about an nonbinary reader who’s a park ranger at some Alaskan park. They lived a casual life until they meet a coworker who needs help, so they do just that. It seems simple enough, right?

Warning: cussing, violence

Nonbinary Reader X Male Monster

The thing about Alaska is that if your trying to camp on your own in Winter, you better be ready for snow. I mean, any local that was born and raised should know this, but today I was challenged with that idea. For five years now, I've been a forest ranger, and I have dealt with blackouts, forest fires, and the occasional bear that gets a little too friendly at a campsite. Yet today, I got radioed in that a man who looked to be in his 70s was running to the ocean but gotten buried head deep in snow. The only reason that he was found so soon was that other rangers saw him earlier in that frantic state, and went after him to make sure everything was okay. I’m near the area, so I decided to help out in anyway I can. It only took a couple of minutes on my ski doo to get their, and as I was able to make out one of the park rangers, I was shocked to see that the other one was bleeding. Feeling on high alert now, I felt for my pistol on the right side of my leg. It was their alright, and I knew it was my last option if anything did go south.

“Thank god your here.” Our head ranger, Frank, said exhaustively as I got off the machine to walk towards him.

“What the hell happened to that guy?” I point to the other ranger only a couple of inches away, still sitting on the cold ground. He looks up at me for a moment but then away again, like his ashamed to be seen like that.

“Ahh, that old bastard we were chasing got all crazy when he saw Yutu, I don’t know why though…”

Frank rubbed his face nervously, and give the other ranger a glance.

Right, the injured ranger was a young man named Yutu.

He only started working at the park a month ago, but seemed to be really sharp mentally, and had an indigenous look to him that made him look native american. His breathtaking to look at, and his onyx eyes don’t let anything get past him. it’s also hard to know what his thinking, since he always leaves his face in a blank stare.

Yet right now, he obviously had a visible look of pain on his face, and groaned while running a hand over the bloody laceration. It was coming from the side of his head, and even though it looked small, a lot of blood was coming out.

worried about that terrible wound on his head, I walk toward him with fast steps, and as I get to him I extend my hand out.

“You alright their? That’s doesn’t look fun to deal with.”

He looks at me with a startled expression, but it dissolves into his blank stare as he grabs my hand.

“Yeah, it‘s not.”

Using my hand as a leverage, he gets up on his two feet again, but wobbles with unsteady legs. Not wanting him to fall, I grabbed his arm and wrap it around my shoulder.

“A-ah..”

“What’s wrong?”

He looked down at the snowy ground, with an absent look that I couldn’t quite read.

I was going to ask if I accidentally hurt him, but he shook his head to confirm that he was alright while leaning against me.

“Let get back to the campground.” He says with a quiet tone, and with that I lead us to the ski doo. It was easy enough to get on, but with the ever growing amount of snow building up my sense of direction was getting distorted by the minute.

Frank must have noticed my slight panic, as he pulled up next to me with his ride and placed his hand on my shoulder.

“Follow me, I’ll get us back.” He says with a slight smirk on his face, as he sped down a forestry path. Feeling a little better about our situation, I calmly followed Frank at a speed that could make Yutu feel safe.

I guess that solves one of our problems for now.

…

It takes us maybe a half an hour to get back to camp, and by that time the snow has turned into a small drizzle.

A couple of the other rangers where startled to see Yutu head was bleeding badly, but I assured them that he was gonna be alright. Frank filled everybody in about what happened to him, and warned them to be careful since the asshole who did this was still out there. I took Yutu to our main office, where I knew for certain that we had a first aid kit ready at hand. I tried to keep him talking, but he didn’t seem to want to speak. he avoided my gaze with a restless expression, and possibly a little of something else.

Hatred?

Or, was it sadness?

Either way, Yutu was like a closed book ever since he got here, he barely talked to anyone and kept to himself if that was possible. When we made it to the main office, I quickly got him fixed up to stop the bleeding. I told him a couple of times that he should just go to a hospital, but he refused stubbornly saying he just needed a couple of hours to rest. I don’t know why his being so stubborn, but I left him in the office with a lot of worry still in me. However, I had a job to do so I went back to my outpost to greet some hikers who wanted to travel up the trails in the snowy mountain. The winter season was merging into spring, so it was quite busy for us when it came to visitors. I had a short discussion with the hikers until I saw Frank walk up to me. He nodded his head lightly as he walked into the outpost to join me. I felt kind of worried if maybe Yutu shape had worsened, so I was prepared to hear the bad news from my old friend.

“Well, is Yutu doing alright?” I asked meekly, not wanting Frank to think I was worried too much. Since, well, I always had a problem with that.

He doesn't seem to have a worried look on his face though, as he sits down while taking his hat off.

“Well, I might as well tell you before anyone else does, that Yutu asked for the rest of today off...He said he was gonna drive home.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Frank winces a little as I stomped over to the chair and tower over him scowling. This is unbelievable, not only did Yutu get a bad laceration on his head, but he seemed emotionally distressed by the whole ordeal. I was ready to give Frank an earful about how he should look after the park rangers with better care, than just letting them go home, but I was cut off as the door clicked open. Frank and I turned to see it none other than Yutu, with a fully bandaged head and his casual clothes on. He seemed to be startled to see us as well, but calmly walked in and headed straight for the coat hanger to grab his keys.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your...conversation.”

I could understand the hesitant tone in his voice since it looked more like I was about to start a full out argument with Frank instead. However, letting myself stop being so tense I stood up straight and face yutu with determination.

“You're not driving yourself home, you hear me?” I say calmly but sternly enough so it sounds like i’m not making a joke.

This is where Frank tries to say something to me, but I shoot him a glare for him to back down. He blinks his eyes a couple of times, but then lets out a chuckle and rubs the back of his head.

“If I were you young man, I would just agree to let them come along.”

Yutu gave me a perplexed look, but didn’t say a word that he disagreed.

“If your really worried about me, I guess I don't mind you driving me back home.”

I smile happily to hear that this is going my way, but before I could grab my coat he puts his hand in front of me.

“Only this once though alright? You don’t need to worry about me again.”

A bit startled by his own stern voice now, I nodded my head once and continue to get ready to go out on the snowy road.

…

After I was done saying goodbye to everyone at the campsite, we headed to Yutu’s car. It was a blue pickup truck that looks like it's been around for long enough. Yutu gives me his keys and looks once behind him, not with worry but with a more quiet look in his eyes, like his saying goodbye to everyone as well.

“You know how to drive right?”

“Sure!” saying happily, I get in the front seat.

He looks at me nervously for a moment but does not further his doubt to me. I know that I can drive far enough to his home, but it's true that I haven't driven for quite awhile since usually Frank picks me up for work. As we both put on our seat belts, I put the car’s keys in the ignition to start this old tin can up. It takes a couple of tries, but soon she cough up to life and I shift the gear into drive.

“Thanks, for helping me get home..” he says softly, and I smile at him. although, my eyes travel to the bandages on his forehead soon after. The wound is still seeping with blood, but overall looks like it's holding up. As I pull on the main road, him and I stay in a somewhat deafening silence that makes me uncomfortable for the most part. Yutu seems to not mind it as he looks out the window to the frostbitten fields of wheat, with eyes somewhat cast down in deep thoughts. Not wanting him to think too much about today however, I decided I should speak up a little before we get back to his house.

“So, Yutu, what made you want to become a park ranger?” I say casually as we head down the main street, where Yutu’s and Frank apartment complex are surprisingly located at.

“I always prefer the forest over people.”

“Oh alright, any other reasons?”

“Not really..”

After that, we again went into silence with only the snow hitting the windshield with the fast ferocity of the car's speed. I really did want to say something else to lighten the mood, but at this point I felt like I was just annoying him. So just like that I kept my eyes on the road, but turned on the radio. All the stations where static except the jazz channel, so I just stuck with that. I was lost in my own little world until I heard Yutu talk surprisingly toward me.

“So, Frank must have told you where I lived?” He says this while looking at me, seeming to be in a more chatty mood now.

“Yeah! Frank told me your apartment complex was just right next to his, and since I know where Frank lives getting you home should be a piece of cake.”

Yutu doesn't say anything for a couple of seconds, but when he does I'm a little startled by his next question.

“Is Frank your father or something?”

I nearly laugh at thinking of Frank as anything like a father figure, but I just shake my head and give Yutu a small grin.

“Oh no, no, his actually a friend of my father’s. But in a way though, it does look like that huh?”

Yutu nods as he says, “Yeah, it made more since that way because well, you know…”

“Oh..?”

Yutu become suddenly quiet as he rubs the back of his neck with a somewhat bashful look on his face, which only further my curiosity.

“What is it?” I urge him to say something now.

He finally look me in the eyes again.

“I thought maybe he was like, your husband?”

I want to slam on the brakes, but don't since I know for certain that it will make us slide off the damn road. So instead, I just look at Yutu wide eyed until I feel like my eyes are gonna pop out of my head.

“Dude, are you serious!?”

Yutu seems startled by my sudden outburst and just nods at me with a look of confusion.

I slap my hand onto my face and just let out a long sigh.

Do I really look that old?

“H-Hey, I only thought that because you two are always around each other..”

“So you assumed that we were dating?”

Yutu was gonna say something else, but out of nowhere, the truck made impact with something solid. The force of it hitting the car caused us to get choked up by our seatbelts, and the vehicle to skid to a rapid stop about three feet from the object in the the road. Everything around me was spinning and when I finally got control over my senses again I looked over to see Yutu rubbing his head with a pain expression on his face.

Oh shit.

“Yutu, are you okay?” I reach over to his seat to examine his well being. He opens his eyes lazily, nodding his head while supporting his hand to it.

“Yeah, I'm fine...how about you?”

I look over behind my seat to the back of the window, where I could make out what looked to be a...deer carcass in the middle of the road.

I swallowed hard as tears build up in my eyes, feeling like a monster for killing a poor defenseless animal. I allowed my body to fall back in my seat, as I brought up both of my hands to my face. I started to feel tears build up before I knew it, but felt a hand touch my shoulder firmly.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Yutu looking at me worriedly as my tears fell down my face.

“Hey, your okay, it's not your fault.”

Reluctantly, he removed his hand from me and opened his passenger door stepping out the truck, in which I did the same. We both went to the deer’s lifeless body to examine the damage.

“I can’t believe I did this..” I whisper bitterly.

Yutu doesn't say anything as he crouches down to the creature. He scans the body but abruptly stops his gaze at the neck of the deer for some reason.

“Yutu, what is it?”

He doesn't respond, so I bend down to the corpse to see what he's looking at so intensely.

It takes a moment for me to understand what am seeing, however when Yutu left the deer’s head off the ground a little, It becomes much more clearer for me to understand.

Right underneath its jawline, there was a huge bite mark that had nearly taken half of the creatures neck off, and the only thing that was keeping the skull intact to the body was only some loose skin.

I fell back from the horrendous sight, and could feel the vile in the back of my throat rise up in my mouth. When I turned to look at Yutu, I could make out a faint look of hatred.

“...We need to go.”

He says roughly while getting up, and he holds out his hand for me to take.

Still feeling somewhat shaky, I calmly tried to grasp my composure. I didn't need to be so freaked out, but there was something about the bite mark that left me extremely uneasy. Yet, not wanting to seem weak, I willingly grabbed onto his hand to stand on my feet again, and looked once more at the poor creature.

“What do you think killed it first?”

He looked at me calmly as we lock eyes for a moment.

“It was dead before you hit it, I’m sure.”

Yutu looked out toward the snowy landscape to his right, and this time he was definitely looking out for someone, or something.

We both hurry back to the car, and I try starting the thing up. For a moment it only makes clicking sounds, but with more force with me pushing the key in the ignition, it started purring again.

Thank you god, I thought quietly.

I looked over to smile at Yutu for reassurance, but he was looking past me with a terrified look I never seen in his eyes before.

Before I could turn to look at what was scaring him so, he grabbed the back of my neck and yanked me down in a crouching position.

I looked at him in confusion, but he only put a finger to his lips signaling for me to stay quiet.

He peaks up again to the right side of the passenger window, but reflexively ducks down in a hurry.

“Shit..” he mummers frantically, and I become more panicked by the second from not knowing what he seen. When I even tried to peak over the windshield to see what was so scary, he yanked my arm bringing my face to his chest. At that instant, I could hear the beating of his terrified heart, and that just left me more confused than scared.

What were we up against? And why wouldn’t he let me see whatever it is!?

“Yutu, what the heck is happening right now?”

“...”

Again, he didn't say a word, and I was ready to lose my temper with him until he brought my face closer to his, which caused me to see a new emotion I never seen before on his face.

Loneliness.

“Take my car back to the apartment complex, alright? I’ll meet you there later.”

“What, why the-” I wasn’t even able to finish my sentence before he walked out of the car door and ran toward the right side of the field he was staring at so intensely. When I looked at the direction to where Yutu was heading, I saw an old man standing there.

He was wearing what looked like a Eskimo jacket, and heavy leather pants that were tucked snugly into firm boots. I sat there in shock, since it was not just snowing like hell now, but because I couldn’t comprehend why Yutu needed to put on such a scared looking expression.

Sure, I didn’t understand why Yutu wanted me to leave, but I knew that I would never in my life just leave him stranded now.

Whether he liked it or not, I was going to stay here and make sure he was gonna be okay.

I kept my legs and arms crossed, while sitting patiently to see where this was headed.

I could tell by the way he looked back at the car that he was frustrated that I didn’t leave, but he presumed to keep heading towards the old man until he was an arm length from the senior.

At first, they seemed to be having a conversation and what not, like they were discussing something trivial…

Yet that shifted fast since in a blink of an eye, the old man began shouting at Yutu, and what he was saying I couldn’t tell you. His old wrinkling face contorted with anger as he started to point and scuff at Yutu, like he was just spat on by him.

Yutu didn't react, and seemed to take in what the old man was saying in one ear and out the other. The old man losing his temper continued until Yutu abruptly turned his back to him and began walking towards the car. I let out a sigh of relief, hoping that we would call the police to take care of this old crazy man walking in the storm.

Yutu was walking up the small hill off the side of the road with ease, and I didn’t look at the old man again until I notice he started running. I froze a moment not believing what I was seeing, but my body reacted faster without my nerves stopping me.

“hey look out!” I yelled, and as quickly as he could Yutu turned towards the man to only be greeted by something, different. At first, the senior stopped running on two legs, but on all fours, and his fluffy coat he was wearing torn off his body as fur grew all over him.

The guy that I presumed to be just an old fart, turn into a terrifying wolf-like monster before my very eyes.

Yutu only having a second to respond, caught the creature by the neck as it jumped up and tired to take a chunk of flesh off his face. They both fell backwards to the ground, and started to wrestle violently. I sat their horrified as the creature took a big chomp on Yutu shoulder, causing him to cry out in agony. Not wanting to see my coworker die from some vile creature, I looked urgently around the truck to find something I could use as a weapon. I become more panicked as Yutu cries become louder and sounded more painful with each passing moment.

Looking so damn hard for something useful, I was only stopped by the sound of a loud, but heart wrenching crack.

At that moment, Yutu stopped screaming.

I felt my insides turn as dread caused new tears to fall down my face. I realized what must have happened and I couldn't bear it.

Holding both my hands to my face, I turn around slowly, and their meeting my gaze was the creature.

in its strong jaws, I saw Yutu’s decapitated hand.

…

No, no not this. Please god not this.

I stared in denial as the creature dropped Yutu’s lifeless hand to the ground and began walking closer to the car.

It’s sleek black fur glisten with specs of snow, and with a long snout and boxed head, lifted up it’s face in the air to give it a short sniff. It indeed looked wolf-like, but on closer inspection, it seemed to fit the description of a...well, a Akhlut.

Those aren't supposed to be real though, since they are only legend well known in these parts. No, it can’t be real, since I must be delusional from the trauma I just saw.

That all it has to be, and now I’m going to die from this illusion.

I’m going to die in this car.

I held my breath as it put its massive paws on the car’s door window, and began to shake the entire truck violently back and forth. I covered my ears and began to scream, wanting so badly to be rescued from this nightmarish situation. Yet when I opened my eyes again, I felt the car lift off the ground and to my horror, roll down off the side of the road. Still being inside I was completely upside down, laying there trying to keep consciousness. I knew it was pointless to have hope that I was going to survive this ordeal, but I couldn't imagine being ripped apart limb by limb, so with so little strength left in me I unbuckled my seat belt as fast as I could, and broke the windshield to my right using my foot. It was hard to turn my body around, but I managed to crawl on my stomach out into the snowy ground. I didn’t allow myself to rest, and immediately got up to run.

I only made it by a step until I got pinned down again to the ground. I turn my head to meet the creature looking at me furiously, as it curled back his lip to show me it never ending razor sharp teeth. I knew I wasn't gonna make it far based on how strong this creature was, but I was hoping to make it as least a couple of feet before my death.

It raised it head up high, and open it jaws wide ready to bite down on me.

I didn’t fight, and closed my eyes to end my torment so it could kill me like it did to Yutu.

As I heard it unleash one last unholy roar, I heard another much deeper one right beside me go off.

Startled, I opened my eyes again only to see another nightmarish creature of hell taking it's look alike off my small body.

The other new Akhlut-like creature was much stronger looking, and the one that was ready to kill me didn’t even have a second to recover before the mighty one jumped over me and tackled it to the ground. I laid my face buried down in the dirt, and covered my head with my hands. I didn’t want to see this, and I didn’t understand what was happening anymore.

I laid there shaking uncontrollably as I heard snarls, barks, and loud roars come from these monsters as they fought to the death. I finally opened my eyes to turn my head slightly to this scary sight, and the Akhlut who saved me at that moment bite down on it’s opponents neck, and with a single yank of its head, ripped the others creature’s throat right off.

I kept my eyes wide open as the victor sat on it’s opposing foe lifeless body, and let out a single roar to exclaim it’s victory as the winner of the bloody battle.

#monster love #monster boyfriend #nonbinary reader #exophilia #human/monster #human reader #monster x human #akhlut #male monster x reader #monster x reader

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ayankun · 4 years

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Ok, if you haven’t already (I say this to be polite, I know you haven’t) go put your eyes on this episode synopsis first. Why? Because it’s a good time. But mostly because I want you to be tangentially familiar with certain topics so I can better explain what happened to my brain while watching this one.

oh, right, this post is a synopsis of the VR Troopers episode 2x13 “Kaitlin Through the Looking Glass” btw

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Now that you’ve got this far, here’s some housekeeping before we start:

I watched this show sporadically as a kid and have very fond memories of it “being better than Power Rangers” but really didn’t know anything about it at the time. I am watching it as an adult partly due to nostalgia but mostly because I genuinely enjoy it. Not necessarily because of the reasons they intended, but, you know.

As an adult, with a different understanding of the world than when I was seven, I willfully misconstrue the main characters as being in a polyamorous relationship. OT3 baybee

On a similar tangent, Ryan “Trooper TRANSform” Steele is obviously trans. (transgent??)

Hell, maybe they all are. The more the merrier amirite.

They all call the Professor “Puhfessor,” so I will, too.

Still with me? Let’s begin.

(first up, though, the title sequence is over a minute long, when really they only needed like, maybe 15 seconds to get the point across. there is also a ton of footage used that portrays events that never occur and also the song is not catchy enough to warrant any of this and I love it)

So in Ryan’s flashback intro, he muses about how, as a kid, he felt the need to prove himself. He expresses this to his dad by asking when he’ll get a black belt, and his dad is a good supportive dad who tells him:

“It’s not the belt that’s important, son,”

Ryan’s dad says trans rights.

Ryan’s VO goes on to say "My dad taught me that it’s not outward appearances that really count, and that was an important lesson that would come in handy time and time again.”

Ryan really loves memories of his dad.

Which I think is a sweet lesson to learn when you’re young and other youngs (and olds) are going to give you crap about how you look, but it’s also hilariously phrased considering how superficial the concept of “outward appearances” is to this episode.

So we jump into things down at the ... Voice Underground Daily idk what the newspaper is called, I’m just trying to read the sign on the wall tbh. We’re at Kaitlin’s place of business, and Woody (I think his name is Woody LOLOL how many episodes have I seen) shows Kaitlin this front page article which appears to have the headline:

ZIKTOR DEFEATED AT CITY HALL -- NO TOXIC WASTE DUMPING AT CROSS WORLD PARK

Ok, a couple of things.

Kaitlin and Percy are just ... chilling out at the copy machine like they’re friends and this is where the cool kids hang out.

Which can’t possibly be true because the actual cool kids are there in the back, just reading newspapers like Actual Cool Kids do.

They’re an indie paper, right? How can they afford to print headlines that verbose? ... Or full color glossy, for that matter

THEY ACCIDENTALLY PLAYED THIS LIKE THEY WERE EXCITED ABOUT THE NEWS ITSELF AND NOT ABOUT KAITLIN DOING A GOOD JOB ON AN IMPORTANT FRONT PAGE PIECE

Environmentalism was No Joke in kids’ media in the 90s. I specifically remember learning the word “toxic” from a Power Rangers episode where Billy tested the lake water. I literally had to look it up.

and they say you can’t learn nuffink from tv

Anyway, part of the excitement is that this article is the follow up to an expose of Ziktor, also authored by Kaitlin, which inspired the city officials to veto his waste-dumping proposal. So we’re proud of Kaitlin for doing a good job at journalism and for protecting the world!

JB does what JB does best and attempts to arrange a date.

The line is, “Hey, let’s celebrate! With lunch! At Hamburger Hutch” but I guess someone at Netflix got lazy for a second.

I forgot to mention, in my HC he’s our token ace (as my favorites often are), so he tends to go overboard with the romance. You don’t have to compensate for anything, JB!

Kaitlin appreciates the gesture.

But then Woody interjects and I let my adult sense of humor get the better of me...

come on, the man’s name is Woody I can’t be the only one with my mind in the gutter can I

Also the line is “I don’t want you boys filling up my star reporter” so what am I supposed to thINK

--WITH JUNK FOOD. Dodged an FCC bullet there.

So I just now gave it 2 seconds thought and the discrepancies with the subtitles probably have something to do with the expectation that children would be watching this show and can’t read that fast. BOY DO I NOT FIT THE DEMOGRAPHIC

Ok well.

Where Woody’s going with this is that he wants to impose a health shake on Kaitlin for godknowswhy. But it’s all good because as he todders off to get started on what will surely be a monstrosity, we get this ADORABLE moment where Kaitlin tries to get JB to come to her rescue.

She just runs up and grabs him. I’m all a-flutter.

But JB is of no help. Instead, he calls dibs on her fries.

There’s a weird, under-baked joke going on here that seems to be rooted in the idea that if one is dieting then others benefit from this self-sacrifice by gleefully picking up the slack? Anyway Kaitlin’s not on a diet? This vitamin shake angle literally came out of nowhere? Is against her will???

Just one burger, please. Protein style :<

et tu, Jeb??

Anyway, this weird exchange just passes the time to get Woody all set up. He turns on the blender and THE WHOLE WORLD STARTS SHAKING.

Percy runs over to be the hero, demanding Woody turn the blender off, while everyone else just rumbles around looking distraught and not practicing anything resembling safe earthquake response. Percy manages to get a hold of the blender, lifting it off the counter, and -- you guessed it -- the lid comes off and purreed-carrot-baby-food-looking goop gets all over his nerdy white button up.

The shaking stops. Percy’s very proud of himself (and disdainful of the others who didn’t come to his heroic conclusion). End scene.

I’ll be real. At this juncture, literally thought that the blender HAD caused a natural disaster, and it was just a wacky 90s gag that went on for far too long.

More on this story as it develops. We’re moving on.

How many cities in the world do you think have ominous buildings in them that aren’t secret headquarters for supervillains?

Our good buddy Karl Ziktor is reading -- wait for it -- Kaitlin’s article. It has a headline so long they had to dedicate the full front page for it. I’m pretty sure that’s not how newspapers are commonly formatted.

That is literally just a couple of newspaper clippings taped to a big piece of paper.

Oh he’s mad. He tells Juliet all about his evil plan for revenge, which is to “steal her virtual image and create a second Kaitlin Starr [that serves him]”.

Same, Juliet.

Off that yikes, a henchwoman comes in to appraise Ziktor of the status of phase one, which is underway. A so-called Stingbot is “in the basement of the Underground Voice” so that’s what the paper’s name is, anyway.

Anyway so Stingbot was the one responsible for the earlier tremors. And, yeah, I mean I know they were new cobbling stories together from old footage, but What The Hell do “sting” and “earthquake” and “outward appearances” have in common?

And that is how a Stingbot do.

My question is partially answered, in that Stingbot’s earthquakes are a distraction so that some skugs can plant the “Virtual Mirror Transmitter” on Kaitlin, which is the nefarious device that will create the aforementioned Kaitlin-2. Bold of him to assume that just because Kaitlin’s a woman that she 1) carries a purse 2) stores a mini pink mirror in the purse 3) will look at herself in the mirror unprovoked.

It’s such a wildly twentieth-century concept. Here in good ol’ 2020, I, for one, have not looked in a mirror in months.

Ugh more gross than this use of outdated stereotypes is this weird tongue thing Ziktor does while almost literally salivating after his upcoming revenge. You’ll have to go see it for yourself, I’m not going to watch it again to cap it.

(This guy gives his 200% to this role, though. What a legend. RIP Gardner Baldwin)

So Ziktor blue-skadoos into his virtual stronghold and gets an update from his generals. There’s this new guy that I’ve already also forgotten the name, and since he has a human face, there’s a lot of awkward cuts between him and his Japanese counterpart in the footage that’s already ten years old at the time. It probably looked great. I was an adult before I found out that Rita Repulsa was the original Japanese actress in the original dubbed Japanese footage.

Anyway, he looks great.

I think I read that for season 2 they had access to and/or recreated the costumes used in/matching the source material, so there’s a noticeable uptick in cool-looking sets with American actors wearing cool-looking costumes, like this one.

You said it.

That’s about it for this scene, but before we go to commercials, Grimlord says this nonsense: “I will destroy Kaitlin Starr with the one weapon she cannot defend against -- herself.”

Confirmed: Kaitlin is a deadlier weapon than, say, a homing missile. (she can defend herself from those)

Ok we’re back at the Underground Voice and there’s still an earthquake going on. Also, and let me tell you this with a large amount of regret of my life-choices, I’ve been sitting here for just about two hours and we are only five minutes into the episode (and that includes the minute long opening credits.)

Let’s roll!

JB gets off the phone with who knows who, having learned that there’s no earthquake registering anywhere, it’s a localized mysterious incident. Ryan recommends they clear the building “just to be safe.” My boy, why wasn’t that everyone’s first thought? Are they really just standing around waiting to be told? We had drills for this for a reason!

(Actually, I’m not sure where Cross World City is located. Maybe they’re not on a fault line and do not actually do drills)

In any case, there’s a brief PSA where Woody wants to collect his valuables to take with him, and everyone has to inform him that that’s ill-advised behavior in an evacuation scenario.

He responds in classic Woody nonsense, by putting on a captain’s hat and insisting he’ll go down with his ship. AND OUR BOY JB SAYS

He’s still thinking about that date.

LOOK. There’s no rule that says asexuals can’t make dirty jokes. Because we can and do. Let me have this.

So our heroes herd everyone out of the building and then stay behind to call the Puhfessor. Just as they get him on the computer, the earthquake stops.

It’s not all good news, though. The Puhfessor taps into some kind of impossible CC feed and they watch Stingbot undermining the structural integrity of the building. Stingbot, by the way, has one of those creepy child laughs that is insane. It’s so good.

Ryan decides to check out the basement himself while Kaitlin and JB keep everyone else outside. He finds some creepy janitors down there, and they head on up like creeps normal janitors.

Maybe they were just hotboxing down there.

Stingbot’s also in the basement! Who knows what he was doing down there, because

Murder hornet, colorized, 2020

Which is a weird thing to say until you remember the slight, throwaway “yummy!” he says earlier while drilling into the building. I had forgotten it in the 40 seconds it took for me to get from that moment to here.

Ryan insults Stingbot’s outward appearance, which is odd because I thought he learned that lesson as a kid. Either way, it’s time to

WE ARE V R

Only to spend about half a second on recycled footage just to have Stingbot go “lol, later loser.” Because those perfectly normal janitors are upstairs swapping Kaitlin’s purse mirror with the evil thing.

Can you imagine trying to pull a stunt like this today?

Outside, things have calmed down enough that JB thinks Ryan’s got it under control. He’s gonna go back in “to see if the building’s safe enough to reenter.” I know he knows it’s not a real earthquake, but also I don’t think I’d trust a non-professional to assess my office’s structural integrity.

Kaitlin’s going to join him, which causes Percy to pipe up, Pavlovianly ... just to chicken out and stay put. GOOD JOB PERCY. USING YOUR HEAD FOR ONCE I SEE.

(kids, don’t volunteer to check that a building is safe after an incident where its safety may be in question. it is not cowardly to leave it to Someone Who Knows What They’re Doing)

So JB and Kaitlin come back in to find the Normal Janitors shadily stealing a floppy disk from Kaitlin’s desk. (kids, a floppy disk is a real object that looks a lot like the “save” icon) BUT OF COURSE THEY’RE SKUGS SO JB AND KAITLIN HAVE TO THROW DOWN.

Let’s just say there’s a good thing they have an earthquake to blame all this property damage on.

JB’s a little snippy.

All he wanted was to go to lunch with his girlfriend and boyfriend.

The gold skugs do their fusion dance thing and turn into the oni-mask skug variant, which I’m assuming is a constraint of these later episodes where they used footage from a show that did not have the gold ones in.

FLIRTY BATTLEFIELD BANTER UGH I SHIP IT

Once that’s handled, we find out what Ryan’s been up to in the basement by himself this whole time.

Um. I’m not touching that one with a 10-foot ... wait.

Ohhhh

Ryan heads back up and swaps notes with JB and Kaitlin. Stingbot said that its work was done, so what exactly was it trying to accomplish? Ryan then runs from there outside to check on everyone else.

Kaitlin then decides she needs to freshen up, which is something I don’t recall her ever needing or wanting to do after any other natural disaster/fight portrayed on this show.

But look how cute they are with their mutual post-fight shoulder-pat. JB even gives her this cute little look as she darts off. He is smitten.

He is smote.

Kaitlin gets her mirror out of her purse, as planned, and checks herself out. You know. Like how woman do.

She gets it.

This is it! Grimlord’s chance to strike! He will have his revenge, Juliet, just you wait!

for great justice

We are treated to a brief bit of delightful 80s Japanese sci-fi, all flashing lights and chonky beep boop buttons. It works! A tastefully gendered laser light shoots out of Kaitlin’s mirror and STEALS HER FACE OFF HER FACE

FACE/OFF

The experience seems highly unpleasant, but she’s mostly ok...

But wait, who’s this ...

It’s not really the Mirror Universe unless someone gets a goatee.

Kaitlin’s freaked out, but we don’t have time to see her process what it was that just happened. More beep boop 80s lights (seizure warning much), and the virtual replica Kaitlin is 3D printed in Grimlord’s lair.

lol he’s got a play date

So this Kaitlin is the same exact person as real Kaitlin, with one major difference.

So this got dark, right? This is different from that time they cloned Ryan, because that was just a DNA clone man baby with evil sunglasses; this is actually Kaitlin, the person, just with some programming differences, who’s gonna go back out there and hurt her boys herself.

Needless to say, Grimlord is delighted.

Check out that disgruntled wall snake, tho. “I thought I was your lovely child”

Now Grimlord’s plan is to send Kaitlin into the wild with a device called the “fissicator” which is a “sTUn ray!!” (you have to hear him say it, it’s so good) as well as a thing that will reprogram the Trooper’s “contact disk.”

I didn’t mention it earlier, but that’s the disk that the janitors skugs were trying to steal, and it was also how Kaitlin called up the Puhfessor on her work computer. I’m pretty sure we’ve never seen it before and we never see it again. It’s Not A Thing.

So Kaitlin goes to Tao’s, where Ryan’s just chilling there by himself. I guess everyone was okay after the earthquake, then. (It is unclear how much time has passed) Maybe it’s been hundreds of years, because Ryan acts like he’s not sure who she is.

Wait, hold on. I did NOT pay close enough attention the first time, but -- either it’s much later the same day and/or they missed a scene. They’re still wearing the same clothes ... and Ryan says he thought she was heading (back?) to the paper ... and then she says ....

Ryan.exe has stopped executing

Wait so WHAT. What workout. We have not been to Tao’s yet this episode. ???

It’s really just a ruse to get Ryan to fight her, though. But also. Why need ruse? Evil clone? Just attack tho, right?

But also no NO. DONT attack. We’ve already seen JB be beat up by his evil clone boyfriend. It’s rough. (spoiler alert, this one’s gonna be rough, too)

So Ryan tries to let her down easy by saying he doesn’t have time -- and I can’t tell with this video quality, but I don’t think he’s wearing a watch but he does the “look at wrist” technique and it’s p good.

Kaitlin-2 refuses to be let down easy.

Them’s fightin words

Ryan ends up splayed out on the desk but seriously, now is not the time.

He rightfully wants to know what’s up, but she keeps taunting him to fight her. She takes the first shot, which he dodges and blocks before disengaging. Remember, kids, just because somebody picks a fight with you doesn’t mean you don’t have any other options!

She won’t stop coming for him, though, so he gets her arms pinned so he can try talking her down again.

This technique backfires.

no more mr nice kaitlin

So in the other clone episode, this scene was staged in a room full of people, and even though JB was blindsided, he and Ryan are ostensibly evenly matched. It wasn’t nice for JB, but at least someone was there to break up the fight.

This time though, Ryan’s been gently if firmly trying to diffuse a confusing situation where someone without his training is behaving irrationally and is going to get both of them hurt. So far his attempts to de-escalate have failed, and there is no deus ex intervention incoming.

AND THEN she goes and plays the superpowers card on him. Black belt or no, the whole point of having the Trooper alter ego is that they come with amazingly OP combat powers capable of defeating all manner of monsters.

And Kaitlin, a very very very dear close friend has just walked up out of nowhere and dropped a nuke on him.

Okay, so she throws him over a table, it’s the principle of the thing.

This overkill maneuver knocks him out cold. She lifts Ryan’s Trooper communicator (so he can’t call for help when he comes to -- omg this is so chilling) and then uses the fissicator to call Grimlord for further instructions.

Gotta catch ‘em all

New Kaitlin, who dis?

So he now wants her to steal the disk, reprogram the disk, and use the reprogrammed disk to break all the Trooper computer stuff. She reads his order back like

Close enough, I guess.

She gleefully moves on to her next task, leaving a helpless Ryan struggling and failing to regain consciousness. :<<<<<<<

At the paper, real Kaitlin gets a message from JB on her little Trooper video phone and secretly Trooper TRANSforms out of there from inside the darkroom. This was the point where I realized they had different ones! Hers and JB’s are red and white, while Ryan’s (that just got stole) is red/blue.

Also, you can just see under all those crayons, but that’s the “contact disk” that Kaitlin-2 is coming for. (how many crayons does a professional journalist need, anyhow?)

So there’s a joke in there were Percy sees Kaitlin go into the darkroom and then Kaitlin-2 walks in, and then also when he checks the darkroom, it’s empty.

Oh, so that means Kaitlin-2 successfully steals the contact disk, btw.

Back at Tao’s, Ryan has woken up and some how his backpack has, like, crawled down to see if he’s okay? Which is helpful because that’s how he is able to quickly identify that on top of assault, there’s been a robbery.

I hope she doesn’t delete my save files

And this was the moment (right now, doing the caps) that I realized the little phones are called VRVTs!

But seriously, imagine being knocked out cold by a loved one, with no reason, no hint at an explanation, and not only has she left you for dead, she’s taken your phone so you can’t call for help. He has no idea that she’s an evil clone!!!! This is a real tragedy of a thing. A gutting betrayal.

It looks like Ryan has his own contact disk, tho? And he uses this on Tao’s PC to call up the Puhfessor.

spelled it rong

Just as a note, this subtitle comes up WAY too soon, so for a couple of frames it just looks like some kind of meme. A++

Ryan starts to relate his traumatic experience to the Puhfessor, but luckily he’s cut off with the good news that his “sensors” somehow correctly identify Ryan’s assailant as Kaitlin’s virtual double.

geez, you guys, look at how Ryan deflates hearing this. I mean, it’s not great that he was probably concussed, but it’s a relief that his world still makes some kind of sense.

poor bb

Also, you can’t tell as much here, but there’s a really subtle punch in as the moment progresses, bringing us closer and making the moment more intimate as he grapples with this new information. There’s a lot of dumb half-assed stuff in this show, but I gotta call attention to the stuff that is excellent for any era.

Also it’s so efficient from a time-management perspective. Just look at the opening shot, which was a medium type establishing shot so you can picture Ryan in the space, but the PC’s right there for both the viewer and Ryan to reach. Then we slowly zoom in, which serves double duty in that it provides the appropriate emotional impact, and at the end we’re on a nice close up of Ryan as he jumps into action. Three shots with just one set up (and probably done in one take, with room to splice the PC shots in)! I’m very pleased with this.

Down to brass tacks

The Puhfessor ominously tells him that they have their own troubles and we go straight from there into some source footage of them fighting some skugs and what I think is General Ivar.

After about three seconds of that, we cut back to the lab, where Ryan busts in on Kaitlin-2 just as she’s hacking up a storm.

im in ur base, haxxoring ur mainframez

Kaitlin-2 shows him the contact disk, which is now “encoded with a self-destruct program” that she’s going to use to overheat the lab’s power core and destroy like all the things. Ryan is noticeably concerned, but Kaitlin-2 points the fissicator at him to get him to stay in line.

Ok ok ok ok so here’s where we get to the point where, when I watched this today, I fully turned away from whatever it was I was doing to go wwwwwwwwwwwwtf

Kaitlin-2 has a disk that will blow up the lab -- and there’s nothing Ryan can do to stop her--

huh

bruh what are you

bro srsly what

is happening

You’re trying to tell me that Ryan “killed his own clone with no ragrets” Steele is trying to make an emotional appeal to this clone in order to undermine her sense of purpose?

...did she ever think that Grimlord cared about her? As a person? I feel like that wasn’t in the contract when she was 3D printed with the sole purpose of serving her dark master, and she shouldn’t have any emotional reaction to this assumed expectation being challenged.

And .... did they ... did they read my other post? The one about wanting to keep the clone around ..... ??????

what is happening right now

Ryan leans hard into this “embrace your humanity” tactic and has the Puhfessor show them a live feed of JB and Kaitlin’s fight.

“...She sure could use our help...”

wait for it

When she balks, he gives her one last over the top inspirational blurb that despite of whatever it was Grimlord did to her, she’s still the same (good) person as Kaitlin.

It starts to sink it.

(also just check out these sweet eyelines, you can tell that the screen they’re watching is slightly to his left, sort of behind her to her right, which makes sense!)

He keeps at it.

Looks like it’s working? She starts to reconsider her whole existence ...

...considers Kaitlin’s ...

... moment of truth ...

And it works!

BUT IT DOESN’T STOP THERE YOU GUYS

“NOW GO HELP HER” RYAN COMMANDS

AND

OMG

CLONE KAITLIN-2 IS ALL

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess, I mean, obviously Ryan’s evil clone did that whole thing where he stole Ryan’s virtualizer and started flying the Skybase, so if this Kaitlin is the same as the other Kaitlin then obviously she’d be able to do this, too.

But like! She was the main villain until like four seconds ago, somebody who did Ryan dirty. Just another of Grimlord’s nefarious tools of warfare. And Ryan, a man who’s killed his own clone before, who took a beating from her only hours prior, is suddenly the bigger man who is capable of seeing past all that in order to turn an agent of his enemy. And to go do his job, no less!

This has never happened before. This show’s always been kill or be killed. There’s a good reason for this, and we’ll get to that in one moment.

But I like to think Ryan learned from his mistake. He didn’t even try to to connect to his evil clone. He just got beat up and went back for revenge. (I’m looking back at my caps for that episode, and it seems it was the Puhfessor’s idea to kill the evil clone, and maybe there was a MacGuffin reason why it was The Only Way, I forget.) Maybe he thought long and hard about the repercussions of his actions -- maybe he thought that, had he been able to better understand his evil self, that maybe that shadow version of him would have liked to have been given the benefit of the doubt?

At the end of the day, I can think whatever I want. But why we never get any other reformed villains until now is only because

It’s almost like they recycled footage from a different show(s) and just had to roll with the punches.

So then JB and the Kaitlins fight some skugs and there’s a big explosion and a lot of jumping. JB and Kaitlin get caught up with the SparkNotes version of who tf extra Kaitlin is and then they fight Stingbot, teleport to a quarry, you know, all the everyday stuff.

Back at the lab, Ryan’s feverishly trying to undo Kaitlin-2′s handiwork and keep the core from melting down. Can he do i-- well yes. He can and he does do it. Then he TROOPER TRANSFORMs away and ... flies off to fight ... some jets ... I guess?

pew pew pew

In the quarry, JB is going toe to toe with Stingbot. Stingbot has some cute little wasp drones that electrocute everyone. They’re having a good time out there.

it’s super effective

Ryan shoots some more jets ... JB dislodges his wasp and slices one off a Kaitlin with a sword ... the third one just .. pops off on its own *shrug*

Stingbot shoots some acid (oh he did that before, too, in the basement, but it was irrelevant) which evaporates a boulder ... Kaitlin goes back to her battlefield quips but they’re not nearly as flirty as the last time ...

JB gets out his lightsaber and GOES TO TOWN on the remaining bad guys. That thing makes the BEST wvungwvungwvung sounds, just btw.

And that’s it!

Almost.

Grimlord spends his obligatory seven seconds ruing the day he ever met a VR Trooper and swearing revenge.

ya it’s called being a parent

Turns out he still hopes that the two Kaitlins will destroy each other! Very optimistic guy, our Grimlord.

Back at ol’ HQ, JB and the Kaitlins stroll in and explain the sitch to Jeb. Kaitlin-2 seems fully reformed!

yee gurrl

But oh-hoho, does the Puhfessor HATE clones.

buzzkill, emphasis on kill

So it turns out, and I quote, “two Kaitlins cannot exist in the same reality.” I guess technically she’s not a clone, but a virtual double from the mirrorverse/VR land, so that kind of makes some sort of sense. This dimension is too small for the both of you!

The stakes are that if the two Kaitlins are not rejoined within 24 hours, both Kaitlins will byte the dust.

Oh no!!

This was the point where, having a pretty good internal clock as well as a refined sense of story structure, I literally smirked at the screen thinking “soooooooo what. you have like two minutes left and you’re gonna fix it in time for the credits. overdramatic stakes are overdramatic.”

AND

THEN

THE

KICKER

OH-HOHO

I WAS

SO WRONG

SAME THO?1

#VR Troopers #V.R. Troopers #episode synopsis #guys #I know this isn't the trendiest thing to do #but I love talking about things I love #and I love television #and nobody watches any of the things I watch #so I have to ramble here #don't expect me to stop any time soon #might as well unfollow now #also this literally took like 6 hours #what am I doing with my life

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celestial-leaves · 4 years

Text

Underwater

Section I/AO3 Link

The house broke on a Sunday.

The electricity fizzled out first, with it went the small space heater. And the land line. The radiators. The stove. The hot water tank. The local phone lines went last, his cell flickering piteously as its bars dropped to zero. The ankle deep water in his basement had been the final straw.

Ever since the storm had first been announced, Mag had been suggesting that he relocate to Northwood. At least until the “worst of it passed,” she’d said. Albern had held firm, citing his duties to the forest as too important. Which was true, someone needed to safeguard the woods, but that was not his whole reason for staying. The city where Mag lived did not sit well with him. There was something about the atmosphere that muddied his senses and left him feeling slow. Never a good experience for a ranger to have. The lack of cellular service did not bother him, should the need arise he had other means of communication. However, the lack of heating was another issue entirely.

Sighing, he locked the basement door and etched the containment sigil into the wood with his pen knife. The pentagram flared brightly before fading back into the surface leaving behind only the faintest etchings. Albern retreated up the hall, crossing the small main room that doubled as his living area and kitchen to retrieve his field bag from the table. He checked its contents - Oku’s food, his archery supplies, prosthetic - before swinging it on. Oku bumped into his side, pushing his head up under his arm.

Albern scratched behind the dog’s ears, gave the space one more look and stepped out on the porch. The door shut with a heavy thunk, the swollen wood necessitating a firm tug to drag it into place. Oku darted ahead to the car with his head tucked low.

“Sorry, boy. This way,” Albern said and walked into the trees. There was the rapid pitter patter of paws and then the wolfhound caught up, tail wagging halfheartedly. The rain slipped through the canopy, pin balling off the leaves to land on the ground with a steady sound that muted everything else. Albern enjoyed walking through woodlands - be it rain or shine - it was part of why he loved his job. The heady scent of wet mulch and mud was a constant, promising new birth once the skies calmed their fury. Oku slunk along beside him, occasionally giving a desolate shake that served him little.

As Albern walked, his thoughts ran rampant flitting between meal plans to patrol schedules. Regularly checking on the woods would be imperative. Though the park had been closed since the weather turned foul, there was no accounting for poor decisions. He’d been called to retrieve some lost tourist too frequently to expect a peaceful break. The fact that there hadn’t already been an alarm sent out was a miracle.

Automatically, his hand drifted up fingers tapping against his necklace. The beads remained cool to his touch, not-transmitting. Should his help be required they would warm, alerting him to the coordinates via an embedded voice.

Oku barked.

Albern spun, turning slowly to eye the underbrush but all he saw was his dog dashing off, his tail held high in a 'follow-me' gesture. Albern ran after him, skidding on the wet ground and tripping over various roots. He caught up as the ground rose, the wolfhound having paused at the top of a gully. "Hold Oku!" Albern called, “hold!”

The dog, muscles bunching as if he’d been considering scrambling down the embankment, looked back at him. Albern dropped his bag and rushed over, grabbing hold of Oku’s harness. Oku settled immediately. Crouching, Albern gazed over the edge. Where normally a stream ran dancing amidst the stones the water now rushed sending up a constant spray.

He saw it then. A flash of red through the trees. A color out of place for both the location and the season. "Tiss," he said softly, and eased closer to the embankment, shielding his eyes with a gloved hand. The red flash came again, moving erratically through the trees. It was heading in his direction, he noted, if it kept going that way it would run into the gully.

He frowned, turning his attention further downstream, where he knew an old bridge to be. He stood, collected his bag, and made his way along the gully; Oku followed behind, a large lump of sopping fur that occasionally let out displeased woofs.

To his great relief, the bridge had not yet flooded although the water lapped threateningly at its underbelly. The wooden planks were slick beneath his boots, the railings too gross to touch even with his glove. Eyes narrowed against the increasing rainfall he pressed onward, seeking any sign of the red flash, but it was nowhere to be seen. There was a stillness in the air that hadn't been present earlier. The hairs on the back of his neck were standing up. He adjusted his bag, sliding it down onto one shoulder and eased forwards.

Oku barked. Loud and jarring. Albern dropped. The dog cleared his back easily, a bristling mass that stood in front of him. Keeping low, Albern took shelter behind a tree and peered out. It took a moment of careful searching but he soon spotted them. Three figures, the smallest of whom wore a red coat. The other two stood unnaturally, bent near double so that all four of their limbs touched the ground. Yet, they did not appear to be animals for their coloring and stance was like nothing Albern had ever seen.

"Quiet, Oku," Albern said, setting his bag down. The trio remained focused on each other. The creatures appeared unwilling to engage the figure in red, shifting their weight about yet not advancing more than a foot. With deliberate slowness he unzipped his bag and leaned the top portion against the tree. Eyes never leaving his targets, he withdrew a handful of arrows, grasped them gingerly with his teeth and strung his bow.

Thus armed, he picked a position that gave him a clear line of sight on all three and shoved the arrows into a tree trunk. The situation did not clarify itself despite his new position. The largest of the beasts - fur like a tiger’s but possessing three tails too many - lurched forwards suddenly.

The cloaked figure dove out of the way with an inhumane speed. Albern fired. The creature landed, spun and leapt again only to stagger. An arrow protruding from the back of its head. It wobbled, swayed and collapsed in an ungainly sprawl of limbs.

Without pause, Albern snagged an arrow, slotted it and fired once more. The projectile flew true but the second beast moved faster, a barbed tail batting the projectile aside. It caterwauled, an ear ringing sound, and skittered forwards. Its feet seemed to dance across the ground.

Albern took advantage of its inattention and reloaded. The creature was still stalking the figure in red. Albern inhaled slowly, bit the leather strap firmly and fired on the exhale. The arrow skidded across thick scales, leaving an indentation that promptly began to ooze black gunk. The creature turned its head - 360 degrees - and moved.

Calmly, Albern yanked an arrow out of the tree, lined his shot and fired. Once. Twice. Thrice. The creature tanked the first two hits, barreling through them with terrifying determination. The third caught its bulging eye and carved a path along its face. It cried out, slowing slightly. Snarling, Oku moved forwards.

He grabbed another arrow, straightened up and the world went white. Cursing, Albern dropped his bow and rubbed at his eyes. He could hear Oku whimpering, could smell the scent of burned flesh and the sudden warmth of sunlight dispelling the rain. Blinking - eyes watering - he looked about. The whole area was awash with daylight and though the rain still fell it glittered like miniature diamonds.

Oku was nearby, rubbing at his own snout and whining. A few feet from the dog lay the scaled beast, smoke drifting off its corpse. Frowning, Albern adjusted his bow and approached. “Well aren’t you just the ugliest thing,” he said. It looked almost like an armadillo with its hard scales if said armadillo had had an abnormally large growth spurt. Curled up as it was, he could not tell its full size but even that length was longer than Oku’s. “What dark hole did you crawl out from?”

The creature did not provide a satisfactory answer, neither did its compatriot -patterned like a tiger - but more humanoid in appearance. “Or science experiment,” Albern muttered.

Albern tapped his necklace thoughtfully, animals did fall under his jurisdiction but these were not regular animals. A groan attracted his attention. “Oku,” Albern called and walked towards the noise. The daylight still covered the area, a spherical surface that screamed of magical interference.

The groan came again more articulate this time and sounded frustrated. He saw it then, the figure in red, slumped at the base of a tree. Even as Albern approached, it moved - standing up only to collapse onto its knees - coughing. And that was Trade. Human then, Albern decided.

“That was an impressive display of magic, friend,” he said mildly.

The head snapped up, rain slicked white hair, tanned skin and oh. Albern re-evaluated rapidly. Not human then. At least not entirely. “First time seeing creatures like that all the way out here,” he continued. “Smiting them seems to be pretty effective.”

“It is.” Tone dry. Voice raw like it had been used a little too frequently.

“Impressive,” Albern said again and smiled.

"Not particularly,” said the other, finally making it to his feet and staying there. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here, friend. What are you doing in these woods?”

There was a faint narrowing of the man’s eyes, and pointedly with a visible slowness, he looked around. Albern rolled his own eyes, “not here specifically. Just in the area.”

“I see,” was the reply. The man stepped forwards, limping a little and approached one of the creatures.

“What are these then?” Albern asked. Three strides brought him parallel with the man, on the other side of the body. Closer inspection revealed the red fabric to be a trench coat -ripped and muddied - but still serviceable.

“Carcasses.”

“You don’t say,” Albern dead-panned. “And what type of carcasses might these be?”

“That is little concern of yours.”

“Considering that I killed one of them, I would disagree.”

The man gave him a look, thoughtful almost, but before long he sighed deeply and spoke. “My apologies. It would seem that I have been presumptuous and acted discourteously in turn.”

“You’ve been quite rude,” Albern agreed. “The creatures?” He nudged at it with his boot. “They look like some grad student went at it a little too hard for their final exams.”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” the man said. “It was by accident that I encountered these two.” He knelt and rolled the carcass over. Two eyes - devoid of life - but visibly human stared up at them. Albern swallowed, turning away. He spotted Oku sniffing at the scaled creature, and whistled.

The wolfhound perked up and came over, tail wagging. “Good boy,” Albern said quietly. “What a brave boy you were.” Oku pressed against him, demanding affection with careless delight. Affection that Albern was more than willing to bestow.

“Handsome dog you’ve got there,” the man said. He’d abandoned the body but appeared disinclined to stand up. The light shone on his skin, highlighting the sweat that coated it and giving him an unhealthy sheen. Albern grunted an agreement, giving Oku a firm pat. The dog left his side, sniffed the carcass inquisitively - abandoned it and shoved his nose in the man’s face. “Hello to you as well,” the man said. He chuckled and something shifted in Albern’s stomach at the sound. Resolutely, he forced his attention elsewhere.

There was an ‘oof’ from behind him as Oku knocked the man over and proceeded to clean his face. Albern left the dog to it, retrieving his bag and storing his bow away. When he returned, the man had made it to his feet though he was still bent over, Oku seated before him and clearly enjoying the thorough ear scratching.

“Do you have a cell phone?” The man asked, intent on his task.

“No.”

That drew him a concerned look, “you live all the way out here with-”

“It died,” Albern interrupted. “Yours?”

“Woefully misplaced,” the man said, “Is there a phone booth or landline nearby?” He gestured to the bodies, “I should call these in.”

“Phone lines are down,” Albern said, “your best bet would be to head city-side and call it in from there.”

“You have no means of communication?”

Concern was seeping into the man��s tone again and Albern bristled. “I am well equipped to deal with the woods,” he said sharply. “This is not the first storm that Oku and I have weathered.”

“Of course,” the man said although he still looked dubious. Albern ran a hand through his hair, shaking out the rain. His hood had fallen back sometime during his run, leaving him with little protection. The sunlight was beginning to fade, the sky returning to a muted gray.

“You’re still several miles away from the city,” he said, “Not an unreasonable distance but who knows what might happen to these creatures while you called it in.”

The man nodded but said nothing so Albern continued. “My cottage is closer. It would be possible to contact HQ from there.”

“If it’s not an imposition,” the man said, “I would prefer not to leave these carcasses unattended.”

“No imposition,” Albern said. He eyed the two bodies and after a moment moved to the armadillo. The scales were unpleasant to the touch, warm and slimy like a worm’s skin. Nausea rose in his throat but he fought it down and hoisted up the creature. It remained a partially curled mass that dripped down his shirt and blocked his view.

“Would you prefer the other?” The man asked.

“No,” Albern grunted and whistled for Oku. With the addition of the carcass, retracing his steps became harder but Albern had been blessed with a good sense of direction. There was little spoken between the two. Albern could feel the man’s gaze fixated on his back - assessing him no doubt. It was off putting. The people he usually encountered in the woods were either grateful to see him or angry. He suspected that his lack of right arm might be responsible. He’d considered putting on the prosthetic when he’d departed but ultimately rejected it, rainwater tended to gum up the system. Albern rolled his shoulders as best he could and walked a little faster.

Up ahead the old bridge still stood, water splashing over the surface. Oku - brave soul - did not hesitate to run across. He skidded a little, tail pinwheeling but arrived on the other side safely. Albern was more careful in his crossing, placing each foot down with care. The man did not appear to have the same apprehension, walking so closely on Albern’s heels that he could hear the trench coat swishing.

The trail continued for some time, seeming to draw out for much longer than it had on his exit. The rain seeped through his outer clothing, soaking his undershirt and running in rivulets down his neck. Albern shivered. Oku had run on ahead, barely visible through the gray sheet of rain. His fingers had gone cold and he was losing feeling in his feet, water sloshing with each step. Belatedly, he remembered that the lack of electricity meant that the cottage would be frigid. He doubted that the fireplace - something that Albern had never needed to use since he’d moved in - would magically fill itself with dry lumber.

“Almost there,” he said, more for his own benefit than his shadow’s. The cottage came into view. A stout one-story building possessing a wrap-around porch and slanted eaves. On its eastern side, a stone shed had been built and it was to this that Albern brought his quarry. He deposited it roughly by the door and bent over, breath coming rapidly and strained. His glove and sleeve were coated in the creature’s blackish blood, it stuck to them like a particularly distasteful asphalt.

Groaning, Albern straightened up and slid the door panel open. The man - appearing unbothered by the weight of his own carcass - stepped past him and set it down in a corner. The same twisting feeling from earlier returned, and Albern frowned shoving the armadilloesque creature inside.

Oku was waiting in front of the door looking for all the world like he was trying to open through sheer will power. “Alright alright,” Albern said - laughing a little, “Scoot over.”

He unlocked the door, needing to give it a firm shove when it remained stuck and stepped inside. Oku barreled past him, making a beeline for where his food dish lay. He let out a truly tragic howl when he discovered it missing. “It was packed away, remember?” Albern said, adding “don’t look at me like that,” a moment later.

“Cozy place,” the man said.

“It has its perks,” Albern agreed. He shoved the door back into its frame and forced the various locks shut, before turning to his guest. “There’s a bathroom to your right, second door at the end of the hall. Just leave your wet clothes outside, I’ll hang them up.”

“And what shall I wear in the meantime?” The man asked, eyes glinting. In the building’s interior they appeared to glow more than they had outside.

“I’ll loan you something,” Albern replied. He eyed his glove miserably for a long moment before using one of the deadbolts to pull it off instead of his teeth. Freed of the filthy item, he set his bag down and tiredly began to unbutton his own overcoat.

“You will?”

Albern looked over. The man was smiling. With the same deliberateness that he had surveyed the woods earlier, the man’s eyes slid down and then back up. It took a second for the gesture to register, but when it did Albern felt his cheeks heat up, both from embarrassment and from the subsequent image that had appeared.

“You’re not that much taller!” Albern exclaimed. Face burning he spun away, tugging roughly at his coat. It fell to the ground, adding to the ever growing puddle of water. His shirt and undershirt were next. There was a strangled noise, and he looked back to find the man hadn’t moved . “Bathroom!” Albern ordered, arm flailing in what he hoped was a menacing manner.

“Right,” the man said looking rather distressed. “I’ll be going-” He disappeared down the hallway.

Muttering a few choice words, Albern retrieved a towel from the kitchen and called for Oku. The dog was more than willing to wriggle his wet and stinking body under the cloth. “People these days. No sense of courtesy,” Albern told him, pressing his still heated cheeks against the dog’s coarse fur. “You wouldn’t do that to me, would ya boy?”

Oku licked his nose.

Albern released him, laughing despite himself. He hung the wet clothing on the drying rack. He glanced towards the bathroom and saw that his guest had done as bid. Swiftly, a little nervously, he retrieved the stack of sodden clothes - neatly folded as if that would help - and hung them up as well. He heard the shower kick into gear with its usual stutter, and clambered up into the loft.

When he had first moved into the cottage - nearly a decade ago - the loft had been a dusty storage area replete with rat chewed documents and a horrid stench. It had taken some time to make it habitable, but now there was nothing to prevent him from collapsing onto the mattress that took up most of the floor. The sheets were icy. With a foul word, Albern rolled across the surface to his dresser and rooted about inside.

Years ago, Sten had given him two muscle tees - souvenirs from a trip he’d taken with Mag - which Albern primarily used as sleep shirts. Either one of them would fit his obnoxiously tall -but shorter than Sten - guest. Albern snorted disparagingly and held up the first muscle tee; the stylized ghost adorning the front stared back at him. “Yeah, no,” Albern muttered tossing it aside. The second - a lovely black shirt with PRIDE stenciled on the front - received the same treatment.

There were precious few other options, but eventually he came across one of his old k9 unit sweaters. Not as baggy as the shirts perhaps, but not as blatant either. He collected it, a pair of shorts, and his own change of clothing before returning downstairs.

“Ah,” the man said, looking up and Albern froze part-way down. “I hope you do not mind, but I took a quick shower. Your hot water appears to be not-functioning.”

“I - I heard,” Albern replied, caught in the uncomfortable position of not knowing where to look. Dressed in a trench coat, stooped under the rain and liberally splattered with mud, the man had not appeared that stunning. Now though, clean and lacking any garments other than Albern’s towel, he found the man to be more akin to a bronze hero of olden times. Albern swallowed, once and then twice for good measure, gaze fixating on the ceiling. “Sorry about the hot water. It failed awhile back.” He shifted on the ladder, realized his own state of undress even as he made to hold out the spare set of clothing, and recoiled.

“Are you quite alright, friend?” Somehow the man managed to sound concerned, amused, and smug simultaneously. He took a step closer, head tilting inquiringly.

“Ye’P’. All good. We all good,” Albern said, the floor was no more appealing than the ceiling had been. Feet appeared in his line of vision, and then a hand - oddly warm - pressed gently against his forehead.

“Are you sure?”

The man truly had no business sounding that compassionate. As if he had no idea of the effect he was having. “Truly, I’m well,” Albern said haltingly. He lifted his gaze and immediately regretted, for he saw that they were now of an even height. Up close the man’s eyes were truly mesmerizing. The voice that lived in the back of mind - it sounded awfully like Mag - insisted that he should shove the clothing at the man and make his escape. The rest of his brain though, thought that would be a shame.

“I do not think that hu - ah.” The man stopped and then to Albern’s simultaneous relief and despair backed away, his hand returning to his side. “Do you know when this storm will calm itself?” The man asked, no longer facing Albern but the window instead.

Albern didn’t dignify that with an answer, too busy burying his face into the pile of clothing. When it felt as if he could breath without embarrassing himself, he climbed the rest of the way down to set the clothing on the table. “Weather reports have been inconclusive,” he said.

“Clothing’s on the table, they should fit even your build.” The man nodded, without turning and Albern retreated to the hallway, grabbing his flashlight on the way. Knowing the basement to be flooded, he left his own spare clothing outside and unsealed the door.

Water lapped at the stairs, splashing high enough to hit his toes. Albern groaned sweeping the flashlights beam across the surface. It was at least knee high, perhaps more for the floor was not flat. Sighing he made his way down the steps, wincing as soon as he breached the surface. The com - protected by a metal box - was where he’d left it, hovering mid-air and smack in the middle of the room. Albern had always been told that the com should not leave the basement so as to keep its functioning optimal, but he was not about to spend who knew how long standing in waist deep water.

The box fit in the crook of his arm, deceptively heavy for its size and he nearly dropped it, transferring the flashlight over. He returned to the main room, where his guest now sat, and plunked it on the table. “Com line. Just input 1-20-5-12-6-5-17, and it should activate,” Albern said. “Hang on, let me write that out.” He looked around but a hand covered his own, and he stilled.

“1-20-5-12-6-5-17,” the man repeated. “Thank you.” His smile, Albern decided, could light up a whole room. “You’re cold,” the man added a moment later, “perhaps heating the water for a bath would be advisable.”

It was a valid suggestion but the sight of the man wearing Albern’s clothing was doing odd things to his innards. A cold shower was rapidly becoming a necessity. “I do not mind the cold,” he replied instead.

“I can see that,” said the man. Albern blinked down at him, caught sight of his own bare flesh and through sheer force of will overturned his instinctual grimace into an arched eyebrow. “That said,” the man continued, “it is inadvisable to wander around open areas with little protection. I would hate for my savior to catch something.” So saying, he squeezed Albern’s hand gently between both of his own. The sheer sincerity in his expression, the faintest furrow of his brows, and that damnable smile were all combining to chase Albern’s common sense out there door.

“Unless you’re offering to heat that water yourself, I’m afraid that I must decline for I’ve run out of firewood,” Albern said and after a breath freed his hand, “though your concern is noted.” He trailed off, brain short-circuiting for the third time that day. “I’m afraid that I must apologize, friend, I’ve quite forgotten to ask you your name.”

The smile transformed into a smirk within the span of a heartbeat. “It is polite to introduce oneself first,” the man said. The glint in his eye was rapidly veering towards devious.

“You’re wearing my name,” Albern said, and because he hadn’t been granted the common sense that the gods had given squirrels leaned forwards to poke at the embroidery.

“A. Teeel-fer?” The man shifted under his hand, leaning back to tug at the sweater. “A. Aaron? Axel? Abrahim? Alexander?”

Despite himself, Albern chuckled and straightened. “Albern Telfer, that lazy pup over there is Oku.” He gestured towards the corner where his wolfhound was curled up.

“A courageous hound to go with a noble man,” his guest said and stood up, holding out his hand. “I am Jordel of the family Adair, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Pleasure’s all mine,” Albern answered, shaking his hand. “And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m in need of a shower to scrub this grime off.”

#The Nightblade Epic #Underrealm #Jorbern #jordel adair #albern telfer #Who gave me a pen?#someone please save me from my poor life decisions #in today's issue of how many times can i change the plot #Plot: flirt?#me very ace: what is flirting?

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skunky2 · 5 years

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Top 11 Worst Cartoons of the 2010′s!!

We had so many great cartoons introduced in this decade and while I haven't seen every last one I can say this decade was one of the best for animation in general! Sadly for every good animated show produced in this era there are also some bad apples in the bunch the following cartoons are some of the worst I have seen but please remember this is only my opinion if you like any of these shows then that's great continue to enjoy them don't let me stop you!!!

Now let's get this list started!!!

11. Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs the series (2017-2018)

Ok before we talk about the show I want to make one thing clear I don't hate the films in fact I actually find them enjoyable even going as far as calling them guilty pleasures the show on the other hand is a huge flop compared to the movies were the films had creativity and fun humor the show lacks that in fact this is by far the most boring show to be based on a freaking film about an invention that makes it rain food!! The other problem I have with this show is it's set before the events of the films so Flint hasn't even become an inventor yet but instead it's about him in high school and apparently him and Sam knew each other already did they even watch their first film!? Also the mayor is the principle because why not seriously this has got to be the worst show based on a hit animated film it's so painfully unfunny that I question how kids found it entertaining to begin with!!!! Not every movie needs a tv series and this one proves it!

10. Total Dramarama (2018-ongoing)

Oh the pain to see the Total Drama series downgraded to this especially since the original Total Drama Island took a ton of risk for a show aimed at kids also how did we go from a series that spoofed reality shows to a bad Muppet Babies rip-off!! What's really sad is that creators have no desire to produce a new Total Drama series they just want to work on this. On the plus side it's still not as bad as other shows your going to see later on the list.

9. Super Noobs (2015-ongoing)

Other then the "how do you do fellow kids" title I wasn't expecting this show to wow me considering it was brought to you by the same dude that brought us Johnny Test aka the original most hated cartoon of all time I got the DA pics to back me up! The worst part is this show has a very interesting concept but it's ruined due to the bad humor and characters. The show is about a group of outcast middle schoolers who receive super powers in the form of power balls from aliens who then become their mentors and how they must save the world from an evil virus that threatens the world sounds like an awesome plot too bad it's not pushed further.

8. Almost Naked Animals (2011-2013)

Yes this is a children's cartoon not a title for an X rated film. All I can say about this show is why? Why would anyone greenlight a show about an animal nudist hotel not only is it disgusting but those character designs yikes!!!! They look so ugly looking no one wants to see something that looks this hideous!! Not to mention the humor is just as terrible as the art design.

7. Breadwinners (2014-2016)

You know when you feature twerking in your show you automatically fail. The best way I can describe this cartoon is it's just awful first off the two idiot main characters who I'm not going to refer by name since they are some of the most stupidest names for characters seriously SwaySway and Buhdeuce!? Anyway the show is about these two "ducks" I say ducks like that since they look nothing like ducks they look like frogs or aliens or something. Try to make your character if they are an animal try to look as close as possible as the species they're supposed to be so it will make it easier for you audience to identify them. Well they fly around in a rocket car or something I really don't care and deliver bread to stock-image ducks which brings me to another problem they can't even draw background characters they just go on Google find a duck photo and photoshop cartoon eyes and whatever on it how lazy a can you be!! Also I found out a long time ago your actually not supposed to give ducks bread yeah it can use malnutrition and illness to them so this cartoon is spreading the wrong message to kids.

6. Brickleberry (2012-2015)

You know why I despise most adult cartoons because most of them are either trying way to hard to be quote on quote "adult" with overuse of swearing, gore, shock humor, and sex jokes and guess what this show is full of this!! Not only is the animation similar to that to Family Guy it's just as disgusting and offensive!!! The show revolves around these park rangers and their everyday lives at their jobs and the characters aren't very good either they are pretty much all assholes, stereotypes of usual characters you see in adult animation, and your typical characters that are just there to offend you! In fact the little bear cub character is pretty much the shows answer to Brain from Family Guy with the personality of Cartman from South Park. Now I haven't seen this show in a long time but I just remember it wasn't a pleasant experience if you want to check it out just be warned it's not for the faint of heart. Also the creators of this show produced another show for Netflix that is just a carbon copy with cops instead of rangers and I though that Seth McFarlane was lazy when it came to plots!! It's called Paradise P.D. btw

5. Teen Titians Go! (2013-Ongoing)

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah you've heard it all before this show is garbage, a disgrace to DC comics, stupid etc. The animation community has tore this show apart so there really isn't much to say that already hasn't been said but I will say this I never intended to hate this show as much as I do in fact I was fine with it when it fist came out I mean the original Teen Titians cartoon from 2003 will always be better then this show in every possible way but I wasn't one of the fans to jump on the hate wagon when this was announced I mean I had nothing wrong with it just focusing on comedy if you remember correctly the original had eps that were just as silly and bizarre. The main reasons why this show is so high up on this list is for the following reasons the first is I've never seen a show like this disrespect a fan base this much it's like the creators have it out for the original fans and they get joy out of mocking them with all these pathetic critic call out eps they do it also shows that they can't take criticism at all!!!! Second is how the creators view their show and animation in general they literally came out in an interview and said the reason why they made the show so stupid is because it's for children you do know kids aren't stupid right guys they deserve shows that don't try to talk down to them!!!! But the main reason for my anger towards this show is how they made an episode awhile were the moral literally was that cartoons are only for kids and told the original fans to grow up!! Mainly the creators themselves have this warped mindset that I honestly wish would just die out that only children should be allowed to watch cartoons and that their show should be immune to all the hate since it's for kids so they use the "just for kids" excuse for their show being like it is. It's hard to believe they would even have a mindset like that when they are adults themselves making an animated cartoon show. I didn't mean to rant this long but I mainly hate everything this show stands for and sadly it's going onto to get 300+ eps. Personality I really think it's time for this show to officially Go not because I don't like it's mainly because it's showing signs it's on it's last legs and with that Sixth Titian thing they pulled this summer and repeating episode plots is starting to show that the writers are becoming burned out this show was never good but I think it's time it ended. There are tons of other reasons this show is bad but I rather not go into them this has gone on long enough already.

4. PPG 2016 (2016-Ongoing)

Well TTG isn't the worst reboot/spinoff Cartoon Network produced in this decade the honor has to go to this piece of trash Powerpuff Girls 2016!! Why was this made simple CN wanted more money so they made this show to sell toys yes that was the only purpose of this reboot to sell merchandise too bad the show sucked so hard that the target demo along with the fans of the original Powerpuff Girls hated it! There are tons of problems with this reboot that have already been explained such as god awful animation errors, bad writing, and let's not forget the memes those outdated memes. Not to mention they removed the character Ms. Bellum since the creator thought that having a beautiful, warm-hearted, motherly, intelligent and strong-willed woman on the show was offensive to the new generation! Not to mention they got rid of breast but they did allow the girls to twerk tho!!! Yes because having an intelligent good-looking woman with boobs is bad but kindergarteners doing a sexually explicate dance is fine!! Seriously I feel so bad for Craig McCracken it was bad enough he was screwed over by Disney but to have his show turned into this!!

3. The Problem Solverz (2011-2013)

If you want to know my opinion for the worst animated show Cartoon Network has ever made it would be this one! Not only is the show ugly to look at but it uses enough bright colors to make your eyes bleed. The show is about these detectives who solve problems in their home town too bad they cause 90% of the problems they need to solve. These characters are so nasty to look out we got this ugly fish-like man, some robot, and a big nosed hideous lipped Domo wannabe. It was cancelled from tv but ran it's final season on Netflix. I still feel pain for any child that had to sit though this.

2. Pickle and Peanut (2015-2018)

Ugh this show!!!! If you've never seen it you may guess this would be something on Adult Swims line up since they're more known for wired shows like this but no it's not from Adult Swim in fact you'll never believe who made this Disney!!! Yes Disney Television Animation produced this the very same company that bought us shows like Gravity Falls, Phineas and Ferb, Star Vs. and so on made this garbage. There are several problems with this show first off the animation remember when I said that Breadwinners was lazy for using stock-images as background characters well this is the same damn thing but in reverse they couldn't even animate a pickle and a gosh darn peanut this is a peeve I have with most modern cartoons if it's not for a joke then why use stock-images it just makes your show look lazy! Second the humor it sucks it's mainly is "trying" to be Regular Show since both characters are slackers and get into bizarre adventures. Also this show loves to show gross-out shots like the ones in Spongebob for example but unlike Spongebob these are not funny and just plain disgusting like how is this show fun for kids to watch I mean I can understand why kids love cartoons like TTG but I can't see any child liking a show like this!!! Finally we have to talk about the god awful theme song it's not even a theme song but a random robot voice listing off things adults think that children are into so pretty much they're trying way too hard to appeal to kids just like with PPG 2016. There really isn't much more to say about this show it's just awful and it's still hard to believe Disney had a part in making this.

Now it's time for the cartoon from the 2010's that I believe disserves the crown as the worst show from this decade. Out of all the shows I've seen this year none of them of completely disgusted me more then this one it pretty much has everything I despise in modern adult animation it makes Brickleberry look tame in comparison!!! It comes to us from our friends at Adult Swim may I present to you the cartoon that I consider the worst!

1. Mr. Pickles (2013-Ungoing)

I honestly don't know where to start on this one it's just god awful!! First it's got all the things I despise in adult animation shock humor, sex jokes, violence for the sake of it, and ugly character designs!! The show is about a family who owns a dog who is either the devil himself or one of his loyal followers and the dog does extremely messed up things to people stuff I rather not try to remember let's just say this show is MA for reason. If you have a faint heart please stay away from this show at all cost!!!

So there it is my opinions for the worst shows from this decade I hope you all enjoy it since I worked really hard on it.

I didn’t include Big Mouth or Paradise P.D. because I’ve never seen them but yeah I know they’re bad.

#top list #cartoons #my stuff #just my opinion #I'm going to make a best list soon #worst cartoons #ttg #cartoon network #nickolodeon #adult swim

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newstfionline · 5 years

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Living paycheck to paycheck is disturbingly common: “I see no way out.”

By Danielle Paquette, Washington Post, December 28, 2018

“Inescapable.”

“It’s a constant stressor.”

“I see no way out.”

What do professors, real estate agents, farmers, business executives, computer programmers and store clerks have in common?

They’re not immune to the harsh reality of living paycheck to paycheck, according to dozens of people who responded to a Washington Post inquiry on Twitter.

They’re millennials, Gen Xers and baby boomers. They work in big cities and rural towns. They’ve tried to save--but rent, child care, student loans and medical bills get in the way.

National data on the paycheck-to-paycheck experience is flimsy, but a recent report from the Federal Reserve spotlights the prevalence of extra-tight budgets: Four in 10 adults say they couldn’t produce $400 in an emergency without sliding into debt or selling something, according to the 2017 figures.

The partial government shutdown, which began last Friday and is temporarily halting pay for some 800,000 federal workers, has touched off a heated discussion on Twitter about what it means to get by in the United States. (President Trump warned this closure could “last a very long time” if Congress doesn’t meet his demands for billions of dollars for a border wall.)

Even brief income lapses can spell disaster for some households.

“My husband is a Park Ranger in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, and he had to sign his furlough papers,” one woman tweeted. “We have a 4 yr. old and a 4-month-old, and we don’t know when his next check will come. Mortgage is due, Christmas 2 days away.”

“Broke my lease to accept new fed job for which I have to attend 7 months of training in another state,” another Twitter user said. (He later deleted the tweet). “Training canceled with shutdown. Homeless. Can’t afford short(?)-term housing/have to work full-time for no pay/returning Christmas presents.”

These and other #ShutdownStories took off online after U.S. Rep. Scott Perry (R-Pa.) suggested last week that a gap in wages wouldn’t be so bad.

“Who’s living that they’re not going to make it to the next paycheck?” he asked reporters, adding that most of those impacted would qualify for back pay.

According to economists: A lot of people.

“It’s astronomical what people need just to make it month to month,” said Heidi Shierholz, a former chief economist at the Department of Labor who now studies how middle-class families spend their wages at the Economic Policy Institute, a Washington think tank that is funded by foundations and unions. “Given the high cost of transportation, housing, health care … There is often no wriggle room.”

About 2,000 custodians, security guards, housekeepers and other federal building workers are losing money this holiday season because of the shutdown, according to 32BJ SEIU, an East Coast labor union--and because such staffers are employed by contractors, they won’t be eligible for makeup checks.

“My supervisor told me we won’t be getting paid,” one State Department cleaner told The Post last week, “so my bills won’t be getting paid.”

Beyond the federal labor sphere, workers across a variety of professions struggle to make ends meet.

Sol Smith, chair of liberal arts at a Southern California college, said he landed his job after earning three degrees. But with four daughters and mounting health care costs, he said, saving just isn’t possible.

“I see no way out,” he wrote in an email to The Post. “I am 40, have built a strong career, have 17 years experience, and if something were to happen to me, my wife and kids would be homeless within a year when my life insurance ran out.”

Lani Harrison, 43, said she and her software engineer husband have trouble buying groceries after paying the $2,249 rent on their two-bedroom Los Angeles apartment. They’re raising three young kids and rely on her husband’s income, she said. Her work as a certified car seat installer earns her $40 per appointment, but the work isn’t steady.

“Each month, we have to stretch his paycheck to make things work,” she said. “We really don’t have any savings. Many months we go under.”

Dillon Holt, a housekeeping assistant at a Nashville hotel, said he’s down to one piece of chicken in his freezer. His checking account often hovers around zero, and he is unable to put away any money for the future or an emergency.

“I make $12.50, work 40-50 hours a week,” he said. “I still don’t have a savings account.”

Emily Webb, 38, said she works full time as an arts administrator in Columbus, Ohio, and waits tables on the side. Staying afloat each month, she said, is a precarious dance.

“It’s a scramble at the end of a paycheck to deposit my tips and make sure none of my automatic payments bounce,” said Webb, who has master’s degree but cannot make her student loan payments.

She’s grateful to work in her field, though, and loves her job. One big financial boost, she said, awaits her at the end of 2019.

“I can finally pay off my 9-year-old car,” Webb said. “The plastic part of the back bumper was slowly sliding off the back of it. I got rear-ended by an uninsured driver 2 years ago, so I reattached it with zip ties.”

#government shutdown #living paycheck to paycheck

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frederator-studios · 6 years

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Adrian Thatcher: The Frederator Interview

From Nelvana’s studio in Toronto, Adrian Thatcher has been expertly steering the Bravest Warriors Space Whale from the Director’s chair. We here at Frederator have had as much fun watching Adrian’s work, as he's had creating it! Here, Adrian discusses his windy path toward directing animated TV, and the many awesome shows and films he’s contributed to along the way. I’ve gotta echo Adrian on one BIG point: bring Clone High back!!

Did you go to school to study animation, or anything else?

I went to Sheridan College in Ontario. I applied for almost every artistic course I could think of: Illustration, Graphic Design, Industrial Design, and of course Classical Animation. I ended up taking one year of Illustration before switching to Classical Animation.

When did you know you wanted to work in cartoons, and what inspired that choice?

Like a lot of people in animation, I didn’t even realize that working in cartoons could be an actual career. Drawing was pretty much the only thing I did as a child, so I knew that I’d have a career in something creative. But animation probably would have been very far down the list—I really enjoyed graphic design and advertising in high school. I didn’t make a conscious choice to pursue animation professionally until about halfway through my first year of college. The industry was booming and it was in the news a lot. Jurassic Park, Toy Story, The Mask. It didn’t take long to discover that many Sheridan graduates were key players in some of these films. These were people that went to the exact same school I did; I thought, “I can do that!”

So that was my first concrete inspiration, from a career perspective. But I had early brushes with animation as a kid. My big brother showed me how to make flip books. The subject of which mainly consisted of a little stick-man skateboarder doing tricks before falling off of cliffs, smashing into walls or onto a bed of spikes. Inspiring stuff as a kid, seeing your drawings move, but not exactly something that I thought I could turn into a career.

What shape did your path through animation take, position to position?

Great question! Let’s see, a walk down memory lane. My first job was at Walt Disney Animation Canada. Yes, they had a Canadian studio. Two actually: one in Vancouver, one in Toronto. I was hired onto the pre-production crew for Hercules II after my second year at Sheridan. The first job I did was inbetweening for Sylvain Chomet (The Triplets of Belleville) on development animation for a new Hercules villain. I enjoyed that but also wanted to explore my options, and pre-production was great for that. I did a little character, location, and prop design, as well as storyboarding. After Hercules II, we began Peter Pan: Return to Neverland; by then I’d narrowed my focus to location/prop design. I learned a ton from lead designers Ted Collyer and Dermot Walshe. From there I moved into production layout on Little Mermaid II, Lady and the Tramp II, Jungle Book II and a few smaller projects. For those films, I moved to Walt Disney Animation Australia for two years. Sydney was awesome and I learned a lot from the people down there, even if I didn’t know it at the time.

When I returned to Toronto, I started my 16+ year career with Nelvana as a location/prop designer on Clone High. A couple production layout gigs at Nelvana followed and then I was given my first art direction job on a show called 6teen after doing the development location designs in full colour. I loved the job even though I’d never planned on being an Art Director. I don’t think I even knew what an Art Director did until I started! I remember going home after being offered the job and searching the Internet for information about being an Art Director. I must have found the right stuff, because after that, I art directed Ruby Gloom, Willa’s Wild Life, and Scaredy Squirrel before getting my first directing job on The Adventures of Chuck and Friends. I even managed to win an Emmy award for Outstanding Individual Achievement in Art Direction on Willa’s Wild Life. After Chuck and Friends I went on to direct Oh No! It’s an Alien Invasion, Ranger Rob and then….wait for it... BRAVEST WARRIORS!

Ahh ye-ah! Since you've done everything from layout to design to art directing, do you have a favorite role? Was directing your goal?

I think that my favorite job has to be directing - it’s definitely where I’m happiest. At times it almost feels like that first week on the job at Disney, where I could choose what I wanted to do. Directing allows me to have a hand in many areas of the production. I still design some characters and locations, like the Slumber Sisters (BW, “Chained to Your Side”) and the Techno-Cavern (BW, “Whispers in the Morning”). I’ve even storyboarded a little! Ted Collyer and I teamed up to board the new Bravest opening. My favorite part of directing is working closely with, and having the support of, so many great people. People like my Assistant Director Campbell Bryer, who can step in and handle production details when my schedule gets crazy—and it often does. Marc Sevier, who keeps an eagle eye on the animation; Davian Bobrowska’s amazing art direction. Everyone on the team, really. I never chased directing: I just focused on learning as much as I could in the role I was in. Once I felt I’d learned enough in the role I was doing, I wanted to learn more, and that’s what really led me to directing. I’m still learning more every day.

What qualities are most important for a Director in animation to have?

Wow, there are so many and they all feel of equal importance. But a few in no particular order: I think that you need to remain humble. Having a big head as a Director will not serve you well. The ability to listen to the ideas of others and to collaborate is paramount. And having a sense of humor, of course!

If you weren't a Director of animated TV, what would you be?

That’s easy. I’d be a general contractor. For some reason I really like mudding and taping and I can cut in with a paint brush like a pro… I kinda wish I was kidding. Either that or a very low paid singer/songwriter. Yeah, I play a little guitar. No, not a ukulele. I mean I play guitar a little.

Do you have a favorite project ever, and why?

I’d have to say that I’m currently experiencing it! Directing Bravest Warriors here at Nelvana and getting to know all the great people at Frederator over the last year and a half has me in a permanent state of happy.

Aww, yay! What do you like best about the show?

Making Bravest is a blast. I get the biggest pleasure from the writing and humor. It has a great balance of weirdness and intellect. Benjamin Townsend (Story Editor) has done a fantastic job of guiding the writers through the Bravest Multiverse. He’s very well read and a student of culture - it shows through in every script. We’re lucky to have him on the team.

Who is your favorite character on Bravest, and why? Do you have a favorite episode of the current season, so far?

My favorite character changes every day. I think it might be Danny…or Wallow…but then there’s Beth. Arrgh, this is tough. I think I have to say Danny. John (Omohundro) brings so much to the role. He’s a super funny dude! And my favorite episode? That’s even tougher. So far, I’d have to say it’s episode 416 “Nothin’ Stays the Same” by Ryan North. It’s a great Beth episode with a Groundhog Day theme. I really like the fast pace of that one.

How was it to work on Clone High - do people still tell you how much they love it? (I love it, so that counts as one).

HA! Clone High. I still love it. Yes, I still drop that name and get great reactions. Even now we quote Clone High on a daily basis here at Nelvana. Interesting fact: when I got the Bravest Warriors job, the very first person I contacted was Ted Collyer (Director of Clone High) to be part of the Bravest storyboard team. Lucky for us, Ted was just finishing up another series and accepted. Ted has been a huge part of Bravest; he was my teammate in boarding the opening. Clone High definitely deserves a reboot! Bring it back! Bring it back!

What were your favorite cartoons growing up, and what are your favorite animated shows or movies?

My absolute favorite cartoon growing up was the Bugs Bunny Road Runner Show. Sooo many iconic characters, and I loved the short formats. I think a show of the same format and structure would do well today. Of course The Simpsons. For animated movies, I’m a bit of a Disneyphile. My favorite of all is Aladdin. Toy Story II is right up there too. And, even though it’s not animated: Back to the Future. I’ve watched that movie too many times to count.

Thank you for the interview Adrian, and the awesome work on Bravest Warriors! Which everybody can catch up on riiiiiiight here :)

- Cooper

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ittybittypbandj · 6 years

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The Internship - Chapter 3

We’re 3 chapters in, team! Halfway there and things are about to get real!

So buckle up, let’s keep going with this multi-chapter Bittyparse fluff-fest, now featuring special guest Angst. 5 chapters, weekly updates. Also on ao3. <3

Fic Summary:

Eric Bittle arrived in New York two weeks ago, newly single and ready for a fresh start. This internship was just what he needed to jumpstart his life.

Kent Parson loved his life in New York. He was at the peak of his NHL career. He had friends, the world’s greatest cat, and everything he thought he needed.

He never expected a small Southern blonde to burst into his life and turn everything on its head.

“Okay, brah, so what happened after that?”

Bitty rolled his eyes and adjusted the laptop resting on his knees. “C’mon, Shitty, I told you this part already. He grabbed my arm so I wouldn’t fall and then stared at me for a minute.”

Shitty cupped his chin in his hand and sighed longingly at the screen. “Fucking love at first sight, my man. Like a scene out of a queer-positive, alternate universe John Hughes movie.”

“You sap,” Lardo snorted, and shoved Shitty’s shoulder. “So what will you do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you obviously want to bone him and have his hypothetical babies, so what’s the plan?”

Bitty sputtered. He could feel his cheeks blushing and he covered his face with his hands to hide the evidence. This was embarrassing enough as it was.

“I don’t know, guys…I don’t even know if I like him like that.”

Lardo arched one eyebrow.

Shitty leaned offscreen briefly, then reappeared with a joint between his fingers. He waved it at Bitty decisively. “You can’t fool us, little brah. You look super glowy for a dude who just spent two hours with another dude he didn’t like.”

Bitty sighed. He knew it was fibbing to say that he didn’t like Kent. But what was he supposed to do? He didn’t want to lie, but the situation was a mess. Kent was his client. And Jack’s ex. And a hockey player. Apparently Bitty had a type, and his type was Closeted Top Scorers in the Eastern Conference.

He was pretty sure Kent felt something for him, too. He may not have a lot of relationship experience, and goodness knows it took him and Jack long enough to sort out their feelings, but he also wasn’t born yesterday, and Kent’s winks and smiles and lingering stares…well, he could read between those lines.

“Earth to Bitty…hellloooo?”

Bitty looked back at the screen, where Shitty was waving his arms at the camera.

“Look, I like him. Okay? I want to have his – lordy – his hypothetical babies. But he’s Fancy Feline’s client. Isn’t that illegal or somethin’?”

Shitty stroked his mustache. “It could be problematic, I’ll give you that. But it’s only a conflict of interest if it affects the business relationship. As long as you keep it on the DL and don’t, like, grab his ass in meetings – although, the guy does have a handful of handsome ass…maybe a couple handfuls…”

“Shitty!” Bitty cried. His cheeks were seriously going to catch fire.

“Sorry bro. What was I sayin’? Oh, as long as you keep it professional and don’t let it affect your business decisions, I wouldn’t sweat it. Besides, if they transfer you to another department when your internship ends, you’re golden. You can grab all the hot hockey ass you want.”

Bitty leaned his head back against the headboard. What did he even want? He didn’t want to jeopardize this job, goodness knows he needed it for his resumé. But he also wanted Kent. Lord, how he wanted.

Bitty tried to remember the last time he was this infatuated with another person. It was obviously Jack – he and Jack had circled each other for two years before making a move. They’d wasted so much time that they could have spent together. Bitty didn’t want to make that mistake again.

He didn’t have the luxury of time with Kent. At the end of September, his three-month internship would be over. That was only a month away. What if the company didn’t extend his contract? The Rangers’ season would start in October, and it’s not like Kent would have loads of free time. If Bitty didn’t give him a reason to make time, they might never see each other again.

Lardo leaned in and eyed the screen as she said, “You’re thinking awfully hard, Bits. Care to share?”

Bitty nodded to himself, decision made.

“I’m gonna go for it.”

Shitty whooped and Lardo smirked.

“Shitty, you’re right. I reckon we can keep it professional, and I don’t wanna lose my chance by waiting. If he’s interested – and that’s a big if.” Bitty pointed at the camera for emphasis. “If he’s interested, I want to give it a shot.”

_/_/_/ \_\_\_

Kent’s phone buzzed for the fifth time in an hour. It was from Eric, another chirp about the episode of Chopped they were both watching. Kent grinned and tucked his toes under Kit’s couch cushion as he typed a reply.

Somehow, ever since their meeting in the café, Kent and Eric had gone from business acquaintances who occasionally texted, to text acquaintances who occasionally talked business. Kent was totally down for the shift. He hadn’t seen Eric in person since then – his schedule had gotten crazy and he knew Eric was swamped with his job – but he was already imagining the things they would do the next time they saw each other.

It was super lame to be crushing this hard on someone he hardly knew. He was almost thirty, for god’s sake, and he probably should have wised up a decade ago. But you know what, fuck it. He’d wasted most of his twenties pining after a teenage heartbreak. He was a grown-ass dude now and he could do what he wanted.

Kent: i found where we should go to our next meeting thingy

Eric: Our monthly touchbase? That’s great! Where?

Kent: i’m not telling. it’s a surprise

Eric: Ok lol, how am I supposed to get there?

Kent: i’ll pick u up

Kent: lambo or r8?

Eric: Bless you

Kent: cool, r8 it is

Eric: [puzzled emoji]

Kent: [sportscar emoji] [thumbs-up emoji] [sunglasses emoji]

Kent set his phone on the table when it became clear Eric wasn’t replying right away. He snuggled further down the couch, and Kit stretched out on her cushion like she was trying to protect her space from his feet. Kent’s legs were sore from a grueling practice today, and it felt good to relax at home.

Kent’s phone buzzed and he grabbed for it. That would be Eric, chirping him about his flashy cars.

Jack: Hi Kent. Ready for pre-season?

Definitely not Eric. That was cool, he could roll with the punches.

Kent: hey zimms

Jack: When is your first game?

Kent: next saturday at home, then leave for a 2-game roadie in cali

Kent: u?

Jack: We play the Isles next Friday

Kent: cool

Eric: how on earth you justify TWO sports cars in NYC, I’ll never know. smh.

Kent’s stomach did a little flip at seeing Eric’s name on the screen.

Kent: three

Kent: sports cars, that is. if u count the beamer

Eric: Lord, where do you even park them?

Eric: Also what day is good to meet? How 'bout Saturday?

Jack: Would you want to meet up this weekend? We’ll be in New York until Saturday afternoon.

Jack: It would be nice to see you.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Kent muted the television. He needed to think right now, and he couldn’t do it with Ted Allen describing kumquat soup in the background. Fucking hell. Of course Eric and Jack wanted to meet on the same goddamn weekend. Kent’s life was basically a Lifetime movie. He scrubbed his face with his hands and weighed his options.

He really wanted to see Eric. That was a given. Eric made him feel weirdly happy. It was the first time in forever that he’d felt this optimistic about someone.

And Zimms…Kent hadn’t hung out with Jack since the doomed frat party of 2014, not unless you counted the small talk at galas and awards ceremonies. He didn’t even know what they had in common anymore other than hockey. It might be totally weird, but meeting up was part of his Being-Friends-With-Jack Master Plan, and he still wanted to be friends, even if it required super awkward hangout time.

A niggling part of Kent’s brain was worried that seeing Jack would dredge up old feelings. Kent was doing fine now, doing great actually, but when Jack had called him ‘Kenny’ last month, his brain had gone totally haywire. What if seeing him was like that, but a million times worse? What if he fell hopelessly in love again?

Kent flopped across the couch and onto Kit, trapping her with his arms and nuzzling his face into her side.

“Tell me what to do, baby girl.”

Kit twisted like a goalie blocking a wraparound and jumped free of Kent’s arms. He watched her disappear into the bedroom.

“I see how it is!” Kent called after her.

His phone buzzed. Crap, he probably should have texted Eric and Zimms back like five minutes ago.

Eric: I'm also free Thursday or Friday

Kent’s stomach swooped. Before he could answer, his phone dinged again.

Jack: I’m sorry if that was overstepping.

Jack: I understand if you don’t want to meet up.

Kent noticed that his stomach didn’t do any swoopy-feelings at seeing Jack’s name on his phone. Huh. That was a good sign, right?

Eric: Basically I have no life yet in this city........ :/

Kent felt the swoopy feeling again. Yep, he definitely only felt it for Eric. Taking it as a sign from the Lifetime movie gods, he replied,

Kent: how's thursday? gotta get my beauty sleep friday and saturdays the game

Eric: Thursday's great! 6pm?

Eric: Y'know, can we make it 7pm instead?

Kent: 7 is perf. text me ur address

And to Jack,

Kent: sure zimms, let’s meet sat morning

Kent unmuted the television and stretched his legs along the full length of the couch. The upholstery was warm where Kit had been sleeping.

Now would probably be a good time to tell Jack and Eric about each other. He was pretty sure adults were supposed to tell each other about being friends with exes, although he’d never been in that situation. It seemed like an upstanding thing that a real adult would do.

But what would he say to Jack that wouldn’t scare him away? And more importantly, what would he say to Eric that wouldn’t be a total buzzkill for whatever feelings Eric potentially had for him?

He stared vacantly at the TV. If he told Eric about Jack, and then Jack decided to ghost him again, he’d ruin his chances with Eric for nothing. His and Jack’s track record of being friends wasn’t exactly stellar. Hanging out with Jack might be awkward and he'd bail after an hour. Surely that wouldn’t warrant telling Eric about. And if it went well, Kent would have plenty of time to tell him later. Right?

Kent nodded at his own logic. He would wait to tell them. It would be fine.

Everything would be fine.

_/_/_/ \_\_\_

“…I’ve been here all night….I’ve been here all daaaay…and boy you got me walkin’ side to side…”

Bitty swayed his hips and sang along over the hairdryer.

He’d been looking forward to this meeting all week. If he was being honest, it was a work meeting only in name. He’d transferred his work files to his phone so he wouldn’t need a laptop. He’d pushed the start time to 7pm so they wouldn’t hit happy hour. He wanted to have the luxury to take things slowly, to suggest dinner or more drinks without the pressure of happy hour ending at seven.

He stepped back from the mirror and gave himself a come-hither look. Should he add eyeliner?

He grabbed his phone off the toilet back.

Bitty: eyeliner??

Lardo: yasss

Bitty: [blowing kiss emoji]

He closed one eye, stuck out his tongue in concentration, and started to apply.

At 7:05, Bitty’s front door buzzed. Kent was downstairs, leaning against a royal blue Audi. He flashed Bitty a smile as he opened the passenger door, then walked to the other side and slid into the driver’s seat. When he pressed the ignition, the powerful engine settled into a deep purr.

“You ready to start your New York education?”

As they crossed the Manhattan Bridge and drove into lower Manhattan, Bitty’s leg bounced restlessly. He forced himself to sit still and squeezed his fingers together in his lap. Kent was right here, and he was so much hotter than Bitty remembered. It was hard to be around him without staring; everything about him felt electric. Eric willed his dick to ignore the observation. His skinny khakis wouldn’t exactly hide an erection.

They pulled up to a swanky hotel and a uniformed man opened Bitty’s door. Kent gave instructions to the valet and handed her a folded bill.

“Is this where we’re going?”

“Nah, we’re just parking. The Dominick does good valet service.” Kent grinned and motioned for Bitty to follow him down the block. “You’ll see. We’re going to a real New York institution.”

The location Kent had picked for their date (meeting, Bitty scolded himself) turned out to be a 1960’s tiki bar that had been in business for fifty years. Kent peppered Bitty with details about local history as they made their way to the bar.

The interior of the bar was dark and hazy. The ceiling was completely covered with autographed dollar bills pushed into the ceiling with drink umbrellas; Kent pointed out his own name, and Bitty politely pretended he could see it in the mass of bills. Surfing movies played on a TV in the corner, vintage posters covered the walls, and everything was covered in a fine film of dust.

Kent ordered drinks – two variations of something fruity and blended, garnished with pineapple – and he let Bitty try both and pick his favorite. They slid into a mostly-hidden back booth. Bitty noticed the bill Kent slipped the bartender, and the ‘Reserved’ sign the bartender removed from the tabletop before they took their seats.

Bitty couldn’t help feeling a little bit awed at the way Kent spent money. Jack and Kent both made a lot of money playing hockey (Kent made two million more, not that Bitty’d checked, that wouldn’t be polite). But they spent it so differently. Jack was reserved and cautious, investing in real estate and vehicles with good mileage and safety records. Kent spent money like it was water. He seemed to view money as a means to solve problems and enjoy himself. After years of coexisting with Jack, Bitty found Kent’s largesse exciting.

As they sipped their drinks, the conversation was light and easy. Bitty leaned into Kent’s space and listened to him describe his favorite New York restaurants. They traded stories and chirps until their glasses were empty and Kent hailed a waiter.

“Another?”

Bitty grinned and nodded. His limbs felt loose and warm. Lordy, he couldn’t even taste the rum in these drinks.

When their refills arrived, Bitty leaned forward to taste Kent’s drink and used the movement as an excuse to shift his knee so that it pressed against Kent’s under the table. Kent glanced up sharply. He didn’t move away. Bitty’s stomach did somersaults.

The thing Bitty loved about conversations with Kent, is how he felt like an equal in them. He didn’t feel young or inexperienced or like an object of adoration – although watching the way Kent’s eyes tracked him as he talked, maybe there was a little of that, too. But he felt like an adult and an equal. Bitty had as many stories to share as Kent did, and Kent seemed genuinely interested in them. He asked follow-up questions about Bitty’s job. He whistled at Bitty’s recounting of the Jam Fiasco of 2015. Bitty thrived on the attention.

By the time they finished their second drinks, Bitty had his hand on Kent’s forearm as Kent regaled him with an embarrassing story of him and his old teammate, Jeff Troy, at a state fair. Bitty gasped as Kent concluded the story by miming a bin of stuffed animals falling on top of them.

“Oh my!” Bitty exclaimed. “Thank goodness y’all were alright.”

Kent looked down at Bitty’s arm, opened his mouth to say something else, closed it again. Bitty was suddenly very aware of the places their bodies were touching.

Feeling brave, he traced his finger down Kent’s arm to his wrist, following a vein just below the skin. Kent inhaled. He watched Kent’s lips, parted slightly with his breath. Bitty wanted to kiss him so badly. He felt invincible from the alcohol and Kent’s attention.

Before he could lose his nerve, he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to Kent’s.

The kiss was gentle and lasted only a few seconds. Kent moved his lips against Bitty’s, hesitantly, chastely. To an outsider it probably looked innocent enough, and before Bitty could lose himself in the moment, Kent pulled away.

“Not here,” he breathed.

Bitty leaned back. Oh lord, how had he forgotten? Kent was famous in this city and he wasn’t out. There could be cameras anywhere. Kent could be outed on Deadspin tomorrow and it would be so awful for his career. Bitty pressed his hands to his face. Goodness, he’d been so selfish.

Kent looked at Bitty with concern. Bitty could feel the flush of embarrassment rising in his cheeks.

“It’s okay,” Kent whispered, “I…I want to, just…later?” He cocked his head to one side and asked in a normal volume, “How about we get some food?”

Bitty nodded, still feeling horrified. Things had been going so well, and he totally messed it up with his stupid recklessness.

They closed their tab and walked outside into the warm September night.

_/_/_/ \_\_\_

“So, uh, is pizza okay? I had a place picked out, but we could find somewhere else if pizza after Mai Tais is a no-go.”

Kent looked at Eric hopefully, wishing he could turn the dial back ten minutes and put the wide, happy grin back on Eric’s face.

“Pizza’s fine.”

Kent tried a new conversation topic. “Got any plans after your internship ends? It must be soon, right?”

Eric nodded. “I think they might give me an offer in a different department, outside the Pet division. I’ve had a couple interviews.” Kent nodded as Eric got into the rhythm of the conversation and started to sound more like himself. “Of course, I want to move to the magazine – Home Cooking, they sell it in supermarket checkouts?” Eric glanced over and Kent made a noise like he’d heard of it, “but it’s so darn competitive. I don’t know where I’ll end up.”

Kent half-smiled. He was happy for Eric, even if it blew that he wouldn’t work with Kent and Kit anymore. He’d known from the beginning that Eric’s internship was temporary. He wondered if it would be appropriate to send a letter of recommendation to someone about the food magazine. He’d seen firsthand how good Eric was at his job. The company would be crazy to let him get away. He filed the thought away for later.

“Will you stay in New York?”

Eric nodded and looked around him in a way that made Kent imagine he was assessing the worthiness of all New York City.

“Yeah, the city’s growin’ on me. The company’s based here. And I’ve made some friends,” he turned and met Kent’s eyes, “I’d feel like I missed out if I left now.”

They lingered over pizza at the little restaurant Kent picked out. Eric perked up after a slice of margherita pizza and a coke. He asked Kent all about this year’s team and how Kent felt about their chances in the preseason.

Kent couldn’t stop looking at Eric’s eyes. They looked fucking beautiful, warm honey brown ringed with dark lashes, and it was all Kent could do to keep his hands to himself. He wished they were somewhere private so he could kiss him again. He wanted to feel Eric’s fingertips on his arm again, to lean into his kiss instead of having to pull away. Would Eric be down for it if Kent asked him to come back to his place? What if he was hella offended? He was Southern, did that make a difference? He should have googled this shit beforehand.

Kent waited until they were back on the sidewalk, strolling away from the restaurant with no particular destination, to ask the question.

“Uh, so, I only live a few blocks from here. It’s a nice night…do you, um, maybe want to walk back to my place and leave the car? I can hire you a ride back to Brooklyn whenever you want.”

He could see Eric blush in the yellow light of the streetlamp. It hadn't been his smoothest line, and he hoped he’d read the situation right.

“I wouldn’t be a bother? Don’t you have early practice?”

“You could never be a bother.”

Kent cringed. Welcome to Cheesy McCheesetown, population him.

Eric smiled tenderly, apparently not noticing Kent’s total lack of cool.

“Well, then. I’d love that.”

Kent grinned. His chest felt lighter than it had in months. Eric liked him. Eric wanted to spend time with him and kiss him and come back to his place and hopefully do other things with him. He felt like he’d won the fucking lottery.

They started walking. Kent looked quickly behind them to see that the street was deserted, then reached out and traced his index finger down the outside of Eric's hand. Eric moved his hand closer and pressed their fingertips together. Kent's face felt warm. He felt like a giddy teenager walking home after the homecoming dance, not that he'd ever had a homecoming. He briefly squeezed their fingers together.

When they reached his building, Eric casually put his hands in his pockets as he followed him inside. He stood off to the side, typing on his phone, as Kent asked the concierge to retrieve his car from SoHo; and Kent remembered that Eric had done this before.

Eric knew how to date a famous athlete in the closet. This wasn’t his first time looking unobtrusive in the lobby of a condo building. It was a very specific skill set, and Kent wanted to fight every homophobe who'd made it so Eric needed to learn those skills in the first place. He deserved so much better. Although he had to admit, not many people knew how exhausting it was for guys like Kent and Jack to keep up the bro-ey pretense of heterosexuality, and it felt really fucking good that Eric understood.

Kent nearly vibrated out of his skin as they rode the elevator up to Kent’s apartment. He kept his hands shoved in his jeans pockets, trying not to look nervous.

As soon as the apartment door closed, he turned to Eric and gingerly took his face in both hands. Eric stared up at him, eyes dark.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

Eric grinned without answering, then leaned forward and pressed his lips against Kent’s. Kent tried not to moan at finally getting the contact he’d wanted all night. He brushed his tongue inside Eric’s mouth, relishing the hot wetness. He ran his fingers up through Eric’s hair and smelled his coconut shampoo.

Kent hummed in encouragement as Eric wound his hands around Kent’s back and down over his ass. He squeezed playfully, smiling against Kent’s lips, then pulled away just enough that Kent stopped and looked at him questioningly. When Eric seemed satisfied that he had Kent’s attention, he pushed Kent backward with more strength than Kent would have expected, pressing him against the wall of the entryway and bracing him in place with a hand on each of his hips.

“This okay, hon?” Eric asked through his lashes.

Jesus fucking Christ. “More than okay.”

Eric kissed him again, deep and filthy. A shiver ran down the whole length of Kent’s body, and he instantly felt himself go from mildly aroused to hard as a fucking rock.

A small chirp sounded from behind them. Kent groaned.

He turned his face away from Eric’s lips and grumbled, “Go away, Kit. I’ll feed you later.”

Another chirp. This time Kit came right up to them and butted her head against Kent’s shinbone, annoyed. Kent wondered if locking her in the guest bath would be considered animal cruelty. He sighed and relented.

“Sorry, Eric, I forgot. I usually feed her right when I get home.”

Eric gave him an amused little smirk. “You’d better get on that, Mister Parson. She looks mighty displeased.”

“I’ll be back in two minutes.” He leaned forward and kissed the smirk off Eric’s face with quick, silly, closed-mouth kisses. Eric laughed and squirmed away.

Kent ran to the kitchen and proceeded to set a land speed record for preparing cat food. When he finished, he found Eric in the living room with all the lights turned off, watching the city from the wall-to-wall windows. The night skyline of Manhattan lit up his face in a warm yellow glow. Kent stood behind him and circled his arms around his waist, resting his chin on Eric’s shoulder.

“Amazing, isn’t it?”

Eric half-laughed, half-sighed. “If you’d told sixteen-year-old me that in a handful of years I would be living in New York City, making it on my own, enjoying dinner and drinks and this,” he gestured pointedly between Kent and himself, “with a hot NHL star...I would’ve said you were downright crazy.”

Kent smiled and trailed little kisses down the back of Eric’s neck, feeling pleased with himself when he felt Eric shiver. “C’mon,” he whispered into Eric’s ear.

“Hmm?”

Kent slid his hands over Eric’s torso, brushing the exposed skin at the waistband of his khakis. “Come with me. I know a few things we could do that would make sixteen-year-old Eric blush.”

Eric snorted. “Oh my god, Kent, that line was awful.”

Kent grinned. “Did it work?”

Eric just laughed, full and throaty, and pulled Kent in the direction of the bedroom.

“Uuuugggghhhh.”

Kent groped around on the bedside table for his phone. Why the fuck was his alarm going off? It was so goddamn early. How was anyone awake at this ungodly hour?

He turned off the offending alarm and reached out for Eric, but the bed next to him was empty.

Kent was immediately awake. He sat up.

When had Eric left? Oh god, had he done something to offend him? He tried to recall what would have upset Eric enough for him to leave, but nothing stood out. The last thing he remembered from the night before was both of them crawling under the sheets, post-orgasm, and Eric laying his hand on Kent's chest as they passed out.

He scrubbed his hands over his face and looked around. A little yellow sticky note sat next to his phone.

Kent,

I had so much fun last night.

I left early, needed a shower & clothes before work.

Kick ass in your game.

<3 EB

_/_/_/ \_\_\_

Bitty scrambled for his phone when it buzzed, praying it would be Kent. He’d had two false alarms already this morning – a good-morning note from his mama and a string of eggplant emojis from Shitty.

Kent: my pillow smells like you

Bitty: [blushing emoji] you got my note?

Kent: i did

Bitty: Sorry I had to run, I forgot we had a team meeting at 8 and I kinda needed a shower

Kent: heh yeah

Kent: i mean, if you’d let me swallow like i was planning to

Bitty: Oh lordy

Kent: but nooo, u wanted it on my abs

Bitty: Kent Parson

Kent: and then it got everywhere

Bitty: We are not having this conversation while I’m sittin’ in a SHARED cubicle

Kent: [smiling devil emoji] [winking kiss emoji]

Bitty swiveled his chair so he faced away from his cubicle-mate. He hunched over the screen and reread Kent’s texts, beaming like an idiot.

Bitty: Will I see you before your roadie?

Kent: probably not

Kent: we have practice & team photos today, game tmrw, then hit the road right after

Bitty: :( :( :(

Kent: I’d love to meet up next weekend after i’m back

Bitty: I’d like that :D

Bitty: Btw you earned serious baked goods last night

Kent: i live to please [cherub emoji]

Kent: and my favorite flavor is blueberry

Blueberry. Hmm. Bitty had all sorts of blueberry recipes he could bake for Kent. If he stopped by Whole Foods on his way home from work, he could whip up a batch of blueberry mini crumbles easy-peasy. Or maybe the blueberry brie tartlets the boys had been so fond of at the Haus? He opened his browser to research recipes.

It was a bummer that Kent couldn’t hang out until next week. Bitty had no plans tonight and baking would take his mind off the excitement of the last couple days.

That’s alright, he could wait until next week.

He could wait.

If he stopped on his way home and picked up some blueberries, surely that was alright.

If he washed the blueberries and set the butter out to room temperature, that was just smart preparation.

Well, as long as everything was out, he might as well make a little somethin'.

Two batches of mini crumbles, two batches of tartlets, and one batch of sweet potato cat treats later, Bitty finally felt calm enough to crawl into bed. He knew Kent would be busy tomorrow, but he could drop by quickly and give Kent the baked goods and a good-luck kiss. He wouldn’t even have to go inside. It would be sweet and perfect.

The next morning, Bitty tied two bakery boxes with twine and a little note; presentation was important. Kent had said their practice was over at 10, so at 10:30 he skipped up the front steps of Kent’s building and set down his boxes in the lobby.

Bitty: Hi hon, are you home?

Kent: hi what’s up?

Bitty: I have a surprise for you [winking kissy face]

Kent: ??

Bitty: Let me up and I can show you [winking emoji]

Kent: how about I come downstairs to u?

Bitty: Oh don’t you worry, this won’t take but a minute

Bitty: I don’t mind makin’ the trip

Kent: that’s ok you don’t have to

Kent: i can come down

Kent: i don’t mind

Kent: eric?

Bitty hopped into the elevator with a woman holding a Pomeranian, pushing the button for Kent’s floor after she’d swiped her keycard. He smiled in what he hoped looked like a friendly-not-intruder way. Kent was so silly. He didn’t mind coming up at all. No reason Kent should have to interrupt his routine for Bitty.

Bitty knocked on Kent’s door and Kent opened it right away, like he’d been waiting for him. He had on basketball shorts and a Rangers t-shirt. His hair was sweaty. He didn’t invite Bitty in.

“Hey Eric, I didn’t expect you today.”

“Oh honey, I was just in the area and thought I’d drop off a little somethin’ for the boys on your roadie.”

Bitty handed Kent the packages and Kent smiled as he sniffed appreciatively. He turned briefly to listen to something in the other room, and his smile faded. He turned back to Bitty.

“That’s really cool, man. Thanks.”

Bitty started to wish him good luck, but he stopped when he thought he heard…was that footsteps?

Kent jumped in, “Sorry I couldn’t hang out today, I just–”

“Parse, where are the bowls?”

A tall, dark-haired man in running shorts and yellow sneakers walked into the entryway holding a box of cereal. He froze when he saw Bitty.

Bitty’s heart stopped. “Jack?”

“Bittle.”

Bitty backed away, clutching his phone to his chest. What was happening? He couldn’t breathe. Why was Jack here? From somewhere far away, he heard Kent saying his name.

He turned and ran.

#bittyparse #eric bittle #kent parson #kit purrson #jack zimmermann #omgcp #omgcp fic #omgcp fanfic #kent plays for the rangers #parsepositive #i'm posting all of this because i'm too excited to wait #hope you like it!

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fox-and-benedict · 6 years

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[Fanfic, 100% Orange Juice] Favourite Customer

Series: 100% Orange Juice/ QP Shooting ‘verse Words: 1737 Characters: QP, Aru, Arthur, Syura Originally Posted: Janurary 20th, 2017 (blogspot version) A/N: This is is still one of my favourite humour pieces. Although I feel like I’ve drifted away from this style since, I would like to reprise it or reincorporate it into future comedy stories -- nothing that produces the phrase ‘pew pew windmill’ can be bad. This was also the start of my QP/Aru shipping.

Aru's ears drooped. Despite being a functional killing machine equipped with the powers of flight, seasonal gifts, and spewing bullets out of her face, she was still beholden to her lapine nature. Some part of her would always dislike loud noises, unnatural tastes and arguments, and the look on Arthur's face told her that an argument was well on the way. "Hey, Mr Shopkeeper. Give me a cola, with plenty of ice," Syura commanded. Syura was petite, redheaded, and completely unaware of her own particular place on the food chain. There was a certain smugness about her that screamed Stage 1 boss, in Aru's opinion. "Do this look like a grocery store, kid?" Arthur growled, his eye twitching behind his dark glasses. The butt of his cigarette, held loosely at the corner of his mouth in defiance of all smoking laws, crumpled as his jaw begin to grind. "We don't stock cola." "Who cares if you stock it? I asked for a cola. A real, hot-blooded merchant would see this as an opportunity," Syura replied, half wheedling, half scolding. "Oh, believe me, my blood is boiling right about now. I'm a businessman, not an errand boy. How about you take a little walk around the block and get a cola yourself?" "Hey, I'm doing you a favour, businessman. You know how much time and money real businesses spend on analytics to figure out what their customers want? I just told you for free. It's my first time in this shop, my frenemy is showing me around, and I want a cola. Make it happen," the girl said, puffing out her somewhat unimpressive chest. "Of course, I'll pay you extra for your time. I'm not an unreasonable lady." "That's just because you ain't a lady," Arthur sighed. He stubbed out his cigarette in a cheap ashtray on the shop counter, and blew a leisurely ring of smoke. "...How much extra we talking about?" Syura smiled a catlike smile, and launched her negotiations in earnest. She was a veteran of videogame bartering systems and economics; she knew how much a broadsword was worth and how much an adventurer could expect to be paid for slaying their first novelty giant-sized rat. Arthur, on the other hand, knew how to use his stern looks and rough voice to gouge a price. It ought to be a close contest, Aru thought, but it was better than an actual fight. Assured that she would have no need to administer some concussive diplomacy, she turned her attention to QP. QP was a regular customer at the Rbit Room. In fact, she was the regular customer. Not everybody had the temperament, discipline or desire to learn the ancient arts of the battle bunnies. In fact, the general, uneducated consensus was that these arts did not exist, which was a definite problem when it came to paying the bills. Yet QP would wander into the shop after school like clockwork, clutching her allowance in her hands, carefully inspecting musty tomes on rabbit warfare and then asking if the contents could, perhaps, be summed up in the form of a limerick or a haiku to help her understand them. Aru was not particularly good at either, which lead to memorable offerings like: Glimmer of power, You are the pew-pew windmill What up, it's Orbit Regardless, the dog girl always seemed to appreciate the effort, because, as she said, it came from the heart. She had a talent for seeing the best in everybody that Aru, as a result of her own duty to peer into the hearts of children across the globe and pronounce a select portion of them to be naughty in the sovereign eyes of Santa, had difficulty fathoming. QP did not, for instance, see Arthur as a grizzled, chain smoking, questionably ethical merchant motivated only by raw greed and the fear of Aru's retribution. In fact, her opinion of Arthur seemed to stop at "tall", which was a small mercy for all parties involved. "What brings you here today, QP? We're always delighted to see you, but are you looking for anything in particular?" Aru asked, ignoring the intense economic debate going on between Syura and Arthur. QP scratched her nose. "Well, uh... Actually, Syura was just being really weird, and I needed an adult. The closest thing to an adult I know is a big bullying cat who throws darts around everywhere and leads an evil organisation dedicated to taking over the world, so I decided you were my next best bet." "You keep such interesting social circles," Aru murmured. "I don't really keep them. I'd throw them back into the ocean if I could. I just keep running into strange people and they stick to me," the dog replied mournfully. Ah, so she's acquired a quirky stable of friends she doesn't really like that much, Aru thought. She's finally begun to mature as a shoot 'em up protagonist. She left that unsaid, and tried a different tack. "I'm happy for you to hang around as long as you like, but I don't really understand... Syura is your friend, right?" "Kind of." "Kind of?" "It's ambiguous," Syura said proudly, having paid Arthur four times the going rate for a cola and sent him on his way. She was flush from what she no doubt considered a victory. "Nice to meet you, by the way. I'm Syura, embryonic developer of videogames. One day, I will hatch into a beautiful game dev swan!" Aru fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Very interesting social circles, indeed. What exactly was she doing that was so weird?" QP opened her mouth to talk, but Syura beat her to it. "I wasn't doing anything weird. In fact, I was being generous, and telling my unemployed friend here how I'd give her a job when I get my studio all set up." "She wants me to wear a maid outfit," QP added, mournfully. Syura shrugged. "Well, of course. Your head is full of pudding, so I can't let you handle any of the code. All you'd need to do is flutter around the studio, bring me tea, address me as master, let me rest my head in your lap and massage my temples whenever I get tired of looking at the computer screen, and then occasionally do some light debugging. It's a cushy gig!" "The rest I could deal with, but the debugging is too much! It's sexual harassment! Tell her, Aru!" the dog said, and clung to Aru's arm like it was a anchor against a flood of madness. Aru, however, had transcended her mortal form and was roaming in the magical world of her own imagination. A girl with dog ears and a maid outfit? Surely it was too much power for one mortal to have. The amount of money and popularity that she could amass in the hidden circles of the world was astronomical. A very small part of Aru -- the part that mourned as it watched the Rbit room go into decline, the part that wanted to eat quality food instead of economy rice day after day after day -- whispered in the back of her head, telling her that she should harness that power. Another part of Aru had gone in an entirely different direction. QP was her favourite customer, but she'd rarely ever seen her wearing anything but her school uniform. Putting aside the maid cosplay, which was too dangerous to think about in public, she wondered what her friend would look like in more classically feminine clothes. "Aru? Earth to Aru? You zoned out for a little while there," QP called, waving her hand in front of the rabbit's eyes. "While drooling," Syura added helpfully. "Yes, well, um, shop harassment is against sexual rules. I mean, sexual harassment is against shop rules!" the rabbit replied, feeling a trickle of sweat wind its way down her forehead. There was a moment of silence. Then there was another moment of silence, consecutive to the last. Moments of silence began to shunt into each other like minecarts on a crowded track. Overpopulation of moments of silence began to threaten the national ecosystem, and local government authorities sent out an all-points bulletin to park rangers announcing the sad necessity of a cull. Then, at last, Syura spoke. "Fine. I'll allow it. You go on ahead, QP. I want to actually look around this goofy little shop and drink my cola." QP, anxious to escape and run home for a cup of well-earned pudding, seized the chance and trotted out of the shop. Syura watched her go, a wide smile on her face. After the dog had been gone for a good few seconds, she turned to Aru, and grinned. Aru blanched. "...Were you looking for any merchandise in particular?" she tried. "No," Syura replied, shrugging. "I was just thinking that maybe we share some interests, you know? We could be great friends. Hey, hey. Take a look at this for a moment." She produced a phone from her pocket, and began pressing buttons faster than Aru could comprehend, her fingers no more than a blur passing over the screen. Before long, she had found what she was looking for, and presented the phone to Aru, her chest puffed out with pride. On the screen was a picture of a maid uniform. It was high quality, dyed sumptuous black with a pristine white apron. It was also very short. Aru felt breezy just looking at it. "So, let's skip the formalities and get down to business. I think that with enough prodding, I can get QP into this thing. How much are you prepared to pay for pictures?" "...Make me an offer," Aru said, making a steeple of her fingers. "20 apiece?" "20?! Listen, friend, I asked you to make me an offer, not make me angry," Aru growled, warming to her part. Arthur was a hard nosed, occasionally crooked businessman. Aru kept the Rbit room in business and still had enough left over to buy toys for the world's children at the end of the year. Negotiating was her strong suit. "For 20, I'd want fifteen minutes of lap pillow and the skirt would need to be at least two inches shorter." Syura looked at her, blank eyed. Then, slowly, she began to smile. "You know what, Aru?" she said. "I think we're gonna get along great."

#fanfic #100% orange juice #Aru #QP #Syura #Arthur #Comedy #QP Shooting

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