#and ny friends put a dog bed on me

[hauntedfoxhut]

Insomniac!Miles Morales x streamer!F!reader

Pronouns: She/her

You as a simple streamer meet the cutest boy in Brooklyn, Miles Morales son of Rio Morales and Jeff Davis, you had meet a couple of times, randomly bumping on the street, neighborhood parties and once time in particular when you found him with a black eye and a bloody nose, so you helped him, after that you became great friends, but you started to fall for him.

English is not my first language so I’m sorry for any writing mistake, hope you enjoy this one shot🫶🏻

⚠️Warnings⚠️

Blood citation, curse words and mention of death

The rest is pure romance

Dialogue colors

Y/N-blue

Miles-red

NY City, Brooklin, Y/N apartment, 02:30am

The live was doing great, I decided to play the sims, a simple challenge, now I just got 4 more subscribers, that really helps a lot, they literally pay my bills, I was planning to cook the dinner but I just decide to buy some sushi, I drank a dr. Pepper, totally healthy.

“ Well guys, thank you for your time, today we ended a bit late but I hope you all enjoyed the live, I’ll cut and post on YouTube for those who missed some parts, bye bye see you next live” I send a kiss to the webcam, and then… it’s over, I needed to stop that live, staying awake till late it’s not good, drinking monster all day, eating junk food, when was the last time that I felt the sunlight, I’m living a bat…

*knock…knock…*

“What the fuck??” I spin the gamer chair to the window, I saw Miles, i get up and open the window for him, the cold wind from the winter entered your bedroom giving you chills.

“Hey mami how you doing?” He hugs you tight, lifting you up and taking your feet off the ground, he simply ignored the cold wind coming from the outside, “Mileees the window!!” “Sorry Y/N” he instantly let your feet reach the ground again and turned back to close that window closing the curtains too, when you focused on his face his nose was bleeding and his right cheek was red almost purple, and he realized that you noticed, he just hide his face under his hands.

“Again Miles? Really? How? What’s the story for today?” “I… got into a fight, with a jock but I…” “I got punched and I fell downstairs, same story from last week so don’t lie to me” “can we just ignore this” he points to his face “ I came here just to forget about all that stuff”

He just lay on my bed, taking deep breaths, he’s been passing through a hard time after loosing his father, getting into fights in school, moving to Harlem now all we got is a couple of hours together once or twice a week, I seat near to him, putting my hand on his head, I start to caress his hair, which was very short making he looks so cute. “You know that you can always count with me right? I’m here for you, ever since the day that we bumped near to the Central Park because I was running to get that dog” “I remember that you started crying because the dog stole your bracelet, was funny” he chuckles “No it wasn’t! I was so sad that day and that dog just made it worse” “I miss you, a lot, all that shit that’s been happening is making me mad, I’m sorry for leaving you, I just couldn’t leave my mom alone”

His eyes, are just like a window to his soul in pain, pure sorrow, I lay on his side holding him to cuddle, my heart beating faster, being near to him like this is good but it still make me blush, “I wish I could have you near me, now I’m feeling lonely at Harlem, you can spend a week there, my mom wouldn’t mind” “Miles i would love it… but…” “but ?” “ never mind haha, I’m free next week, I would love to spend the week with you”

He hug me back and now we’re laying face to face, I only can stare at his lips and same for Miles he just been staring my lips for almost 2 minutes straight, his hand holding my cheek, he looks so hypnotizing, I’m lost in his face, I can only feel his hand is on my cheek, now he’s approaching, so close, so so close, he kiss me, a soft and simple kiss but very meaningful, I just kiss him back, the butterflies on my stomach, “can I stay? It’s too late and I miss you so much” his puppy eyes, staring at me, I can’t resist, “of course you can” “can I sleep with you?” That question caught me off guard, now im the one who hide the face under my hands but his hand that’s on my cheeks try to take my hands off, “c’mon it’s not the first time that we slept together, why are you so awkward about it?” When your face is not covered anymore you can see a slight blush in his cheeks, “I just… like you, that’s why I came here, I was planning to text you but that would be so dishonest, I needed to do it face to face” “Miles just shut up” I instantly kiss him, softly holding his cheeks that are a bit warm, at first he got shocked but one second later he just kiss me back.

We stopped the kiss because we needed to breath, now his hands are around my hips, making imaginary circles with the fingers, “so mister Morales, may you please let me get up so I can get a blanket for us?” “Of course you can my pretty girlfriend” “girlfriend?” I can’t hide that little smile in my face, I’m feeling so happy right now, but I still tired needing to sleep, so yeah, I just loved the idea of sleeping with him. “Yup, girlfriend, or do you want a nickname like, mi vida, cariño, Hermosa, honey, you can choose.” I yawned feeling my eyes getting heavier, “can I choose one later I just want to sleep right now…. Get the blanket please” I can badly keep my eyes open, he kiss my forehead and leave the bed to get the huge blanket in the closet, he come back to the bed and when he realized you’re sleeping, a little shrunk because of the cold, but tight on sight he covered you with warm blanket and sneaking to sleep with you.

That night you sleep so well after almost a week of bad sleep, he made me relax, holding my body with his big hands and long arms, making me fell safe, now that I’m dating him I already have everything that I need, but now I’ll have to move to the Harlem to live near to him.

Translations

Mi vida- my life

Cariño- dear

Hermosa -beautiful

[restforthe-burdenedsoul]

august 4

I initially woke up with really good intentions for the day. Today was gonna be a better day (and it still has that potential since it’s only 9).

I overslept and had nightmare after nightmare about the dog peeing on the carpet or escaping her crate and peeing on the carpet (can you tell this stresses me out?)

I finally pull myself outta bed and clock in but I still have to take the dog outside. But it’s trash day. So she comes out of her crate and immediately runs under my desk so I have to drag her out to put her harness on. She’s literally shivering from fear and won’t cooperate. I finally get it on and she won’t move. She’s only 15 pounds so it’s not like I can’t physically move her but she’s fucking traumatized and then I feel like a monster trying to move her small shaking and panting body.

Then I get this total overwhelm feeling because I’m so.tired. of dealing with her day in and day out. I’m so tired of being stuck in my house all the time with this dog who is afraid of everything and makes going outside with her so hard. I’m so tired of being alone in this house and having to handle her on my own.

I took her out last evening, M was already home and showering and was gonna take her out but she was sitting at the door (her non verbal sign for “I have to pee RIGHT now take me out or I will pee on your carpet this is an emergency) so I take her out. She literally gives no other signal and that is the last train to outside potty.

The neighbor dogs come out ( a golden and some kind of medium fluffy white dog) I didn’t notice. Next thing I know the leash is giving me leash burn. I always have a tight grip on the end of it so she didn’t go far, but was FULL ON CHARGING at these dogs.

And I can’t do it anymore. And we can’t afford training right now. But I can’t do this on my own.

M is only home from like 9pm and we go to bed at 11 so he can’t really do much. It’s dark outside. And she is perfectly fine inside with the exception of peeing when we miss her silent potty alarm. Which I admit is happening more often because I’m so overwhelmed with the thought of taking her outside every 4 hours.

Work didn’t approve M’s requested schedule for the quarterly schedule change. He requested Monday-Friday 8-5 so he can actually be home with me now, but they put him Wednesday-Thursday 8-5, Friday 10-7, Saturday 8-5, Sunday 8-5. So now we can’t go to church together and he works the weekends when I am off. His mom is off weekends, so he’ll still have to be at their house to take care of his grandmom on mondays and Tuesdays, so I still won’t really see him.

And I still have no fucking friends in the area and he’s the only person I get to do stuff with now. I have one other friend in Florida and she won’t drive to me because I’m 2 hours away. I admittedly stopped making the effort because I got tired of being the only one making the trip. My other friend moved to NY and my other one just disappeared after the ex came back.

I wanted today to be a better day but it’s 9am and I’m already sobbing on my couch because I am tired of this. Im tired of feeling so lonely.

—-

One more week until the summer is over and I will at least be at schools 3 days a week. And I hope that helps. It’s still really only talking to children but it’s better than talking to the dog all day. Who spends most of her day hiding under the bed anyway.

—-

M said he was open to moving, and that his mom would probably follow, I know my parents wouldn’t but we barely talk now anyway and they want literally nothing to do with M.

The idea of moving back to Jersey is floating around in my head. I wanna be by my friends again. Because I know we always make time for each other. Even if we’re too busy, we just go grocery shopping together or whatever mundane task you have to do. Because it’s important to us to see each other often. And then I’d only be a weekend trip away from my best friend again. We saw each other every other month and alternated who drove to who. So yah, I can’t get a friend here to drive two hours to me but my best friend and I coordinated 8 hour drives to each other 6 times a year. So. I just don’t believe the excuses here.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #125

What is your favorite middle name for a girl? It totally depends on the first name. I don't have a set favorite.

Which insect annoys you the most? Gnats.

How many proms have you been to? Two.

Do you prefer hard rock music or soft rock? I like both, but I prefer hard rock, generally.

Did you ever own a Furby? Yes.

What is your favorite type of dance? Modern. It's a hard type to really describe if you've not done or seen a lot of it, but I think the best way to put it is it's a very story-telling, emotive sort of dancing.

What was your first concert? Alice Cooper. Stiiiiill the only one I've ever been to, I want to go to more so badly.

Have you ever dressed up as a fairy? I don't think so, but for years now I've totally wanted to do a fae-esque photoshoot 😭

What is the most significant health issue you have been dealing with lately? I guess being pre-diabetic. I have no idea how that's changed since my last tests, but it's absolutely affected how I'm living and what's basically a fear of eating like, anything.

What was the name of the first guy/girl you dated? Aaron.

What was the name of the first guy/girl you went out on a date with? Jason.

When was the last time you had a headache? I'm quite positive I actually had a migraine last night. I was basically immobilized in bed by ~6PM and stayed there for the rest of the night, sleeping but waking back up multiple times, and I noticed it didn't respond to the maximum dose of Ibuprofen I took (at least, judging by how quickly it NORMALLY works), only sleep after a good number of hours. I was miserable, and this morning I didn't even wake up 'til around 10 despite lying down super early.

Do you get migraines? They're not a regular thing for me, no, thank fucking goodness. But I've definitely experienced them.

Have you ever had to go to a neurologist? Ye.

How many people do you know who work as hairdressers? List their names. I don't want to reveal the one I've seen since basically being a kid because her name is just really unique, but I also know one my mom sees named Anita. My friend Summer is also good with hair, and Chelsea was (I say "was" because I have no idea what she's up to these days career-wise), too.

Have you ever filmed any TikToks? No.

Have you ever filmed a video for YouTube? DON'T REMIND ME OF THIS LASKDJFAL;KSJD;LKAWJELKR

If you could meet any one YouTuber, which YouTuber would you choose to meet? Would you believe me if my answer was Markiplier lmfao

Do you have any stomach issues? Yes, basically all the women in my family have gastrointestinal issues, oddly enough.

When was the last time you had pizza? It was a good few days ago when my late grandmother's husband was driving through and stayed the night here as a midway point. He's a New Yorker, so we got (really shitty haha) NY pizza. It was super uncomfortable, they weren't married long and we don't know him well at all, like he's not family to me, but it helped that Girt was actually staying that night too so I felt safer. ... I should mention this 90-something y/o man is not a threat to like, ANYBODY, it's super obvious, but still, I didn't like a man I barely know whatsoever sleeping in the adjacent room from me.

Which name do you like better: Felicity or Fiona? I like both, but I think Felicity.

Can you see a teddy bear from where you’re sitting right now? Yeah, the big one Girt got me for Valentine's, haha. It sits on this chair in the corner that's always in my sight when I sit here, along with the Squishmallow he got me and the plush dog his mom gifted me.

Is anything on your body sore right now? My legs, actually. I think it's because I walked a long way (including up a slope) yesterday during PT progress tests.

Does anyone in your family have diabetes? It runs super heavily in my family, so yes. Mom does, as well as her mega shitty brother, and I'm entirely positive there are others, too. I just don't remember them.

When was the last time you went on a date with someone? Many months ago, Girt and I really don't go out much.

… and what was the name of the person you went out with? Girt.

Does your hair have natural highlights in it? Yeah, slightly lighter browns.

What is one type of fruit that you’d like to try that you’ve never tried before? Dragonfruit. It looks so weird.

Have you ever lived alone? No, and I absolutely, positively never want to. It would be SO unhealthy for me.

Would you rather live alone or with someone? Someone, obviously. I'd be horrifically depressed living alone; I literally already struggle on bad mental health days when Mom isn't home just for most of a single day.

Who was the last person who came to visit you? Girt.

Do you have family that you wish you could see more? Yeah. I basically never see my extended family, ever. I don't even know most of them. My mom's family is primarily in NY and Dad's is in Ohio/Michigan, and only my parents, us three daughters, and Ashley's kids live here in NC. My brother's family is in Tennessee, but you have to keep in mind that NC and TN are very long states, with mountains to traverse between them, so it's not exactly easy or quick to get there.

What was your first job? Sales associate at GameStop. I was the worst salesperson imaginable, lmao. Did not last long, and yet it was the longest job I had anyway.

Have you ever gone to the emergency room having a severe allergic reaction? No, thank god.

Who was the last music artist you listened to a song by? oh you know,,,,,,,,,,, this band I'm REALLY normal about,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Have you driven anywhere today? Nah. It's been super gross out today anyway.

Where did you get your favorite pet from? My favorite pet of all-time? Teddy came from the friend of a family friend, whose dog had a massive litter of puppies and needed homes. Lolita knew my parents were looking for a puppy for the family.

Have you ever called animal control on anyone? No.

What are your plans for the coming weekend? I'm certain we'll go to Ashley's for Easter, watch the kids do their egg hunt. I know Mom has baskets for the kids, too.

Is there someone who would support you no matter what? I mean, I would HOPE nobody. I don't want my loved ones to be supportive of me like, committing a murder. I don't believe in unconditional loyalty.

Is there any actual chance you could be pregnant right now? No.

Do you still get carded when you try and buy things you’re old enough to? It's super rare I try to, but I haven't been carded for a drink at a restaurant for a few years now, I think.

What was the last movie you saw in theaters? My answer to this has been The Black Phone for... holy shit, I think nearly a year now. I can tell you I am ABSOLUTELY dragging Girt to see the Barbie movie when it comes out though lmfao

Do you think the drinking age in the US should be lowered to 18? No.

Do you know anyone fluent in a really uncommon language? Quite sure no.

Would you rather visit Iceland for a week or Rome for a day? Ohhhhhh don't ask me that!!! I'm a TOTAL sucker for Roman architecture, and there are so many places there I want to see, but I still think Iceland wins. A day is just too short and besides, in general, I find Iceland prettier.

What were you doing at this time yesterday? At the time I'm answering this question, fighting to sleep in bed to get away from that migraine.

Do you believe most people are good people deep down? Most? Yes.

Who was the last person to see you cry? Girt. Not because of something he did, I was just having some personal problems. He was wonderful about it and helped me out of it.

When was the last time you slept in a bed with someone else? A few nights ago when Girt was here.

When was the last time you slept in a bed not your own? A couple months ago or something like that when my mom was doing something with my bed. I slept in hers, and she used the couch pull-out one.

When was the last time you slept on something other than a bed? Months ago on Ashley's couch while babysitting with Mom. I try mega hard to avoid that, because by like, the next day I will be so sore.

Who do you look more like, your dad or your mom? I've heard both, depending on who you ask. I don't know who I look more like, personally.

How do you feel about the last person you shared a kiss with? I love him with all my heart and hope I get to for the rest of my life.

Have you gotten the COVID vaccine? I got the first two doses of Moderna, but not the boosters, even though I should.

Who in your family is or was a marine? I know I have now-deceased men in my family who were, but idr who they were...

What is one thing you wish you hadn’t seen? Certain things Sara has called me since I ended our friendship that had already been dead for months. A couple things she said about me are unfuckingforgivable by me, and even though I know in my core they're false as shit, haunt me anyway because I have a subzero amount of self-esteem.

What is one thing you find serene? Birdsong. I don't get those people that hate hearing birds in the morning.

What are three things you disliked about being a teen? The political and religious morals/values I held then are #1, and then I also DEFINITELY got hit hard with mental illness and its symptoms, and I hated my acne, too.

For support, on whom do you lean? The primary people are my mom, Girt, Mazzy, and Tez. Others do occasionally, but not nearly as regularly as those four people.

Which color do you like better: tangerine or aquamarine? Aquamarine, I actually really like that color.

What is your favorite foreign cuisine? I suppose Italian, although granted I really haven't tried much foreign food.

Do you like the smell of gasoline? No, it actually gives me a bad headache.

Do you prefer towel drying, blow drying, or natural drying your hair? It's a mix of towel-drying and letting it dry naturally.

Have you ever been sledding? Yeah. There was a hill by my old house where our neighbors, my sisters, and I would use for that purpose. I also vaguely remember sledding down a really big hill when we visited my dad's family in Ohio.

Have you ever flown a kite? Yes, I loved to as a kid.

What’s your favorite milkshake flavor? Eh, I suppose chocolate is what I generally go for. But it varies with my mood.

How long can you balance on one foot? I really don't think I can do that yet because of my legs. We're getting there.

Do you have any scars? Yeah, at the very base of my spine (look it's literally at the top of my asscrack lmfao) from a cyst removal; that's probably my worst one, but I can't see it, so. I also have one on my chin, from when I fainted onto the bathroom floor directly onto it. I might still have faint scars on my shins from how I used to scratch them entirely raw after shaving, but I haven't shaved my legs in so long that I don't know and can't really tell with how dark and thick my hair is.

What did you want to be when you grew up? They ranged from paleontologist, vet, author/poet/artist in general, movie director, game designer, wildlife biologist, I had a super brief guitarist stint at the start of high school and an even shorter (and I mean VERY short) music video editor goal, and then the one that's stuck with me is a photographer. I think that's all of them.

How often do you buy new clothes? Extremely, extremely rarely.

Can you solve sudoku puzzles? I know how to play, yeah. I used to like it quite a bit.

What’s the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Who knows, honestly.

Are you much of a gambler? No, that is behavior I never even want to try.

If your parents hated your current lover would you ditch him? My parents love him, but even if they didn't, no.

Do you prefer liquid soap or bar soap? Liquid, I hate bar soaps.

Who was the last person to knock at your door? Uh I think it was the guy yesterday who was doing something with our fire alarms and ceiling fans.

What’s the last thing you took a picture of? The azaleas growing beside our house. They're gorgeous.

Which is better: Mario or Sonic? Mario; I was never a Sonic fan. I'm not big into Mario either, though.

[wouldnt-it-be-hilarious-if-i]

1 am thoughts

currently listening to: never grow up by taylor swift

i'm sitting in my room for the last(ish) time before i start my last first day of undergrad, and i just got full on body slammed into a heart wrenching sob session while listening to this fucking song that broke my heart when it first came out when i was like fourteen, and hurts worse now that i truly understand it.

"Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home Remember the footsteps, remember the words said And all your little brother's favorite songs I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone."

the truth is that i was a military kid who never put down roots anywhere in her life before the age of eighteen. pieces and fragments and memories of the little girl and moody teenager and immature young adult that i was (and still am) exist all over the country.

i have a singular photo of one childhood room that i had as a four year old living in watertown, ny just a stones throw away from the canadian border.

i have selfies of myself from nine year old me in front of my god-awful cotton candy pink and blue walls from when we lived in oahu, hawaii.

i have memories of the bedroom i had in south carolina with all the flowers on the windowsill and my giant care bear collection that took up my entire room and my bright pink princess tv and the closet i'd read until the wee hours of the night inside of

i have memories of the wall of posters i had in my 7th grade bedroom where i cried to paramore nightly and never slept

the bed where i had my first kiss with a girl whose skin was so fucking pale it was illuminated in the moonlight and made her look like an angel

and i can't forget the bunkbed era in my third house in georgia where my niece and i developed a pully system to send secret encoded messages back and forth to each other in the middle of the night, or the big window in my high school bedroom where i used to watch the neighborhood and sometimes stand naked in front of the window in the middle of the night because i knew people couldn't see inside, and even if they could, they probably wouldn't be believed if they said something or would be considered pervy for watching a 15 year old "undressing" in her bedroom

all of these pieces of me exist in the houses that raised me and the people who knew me

and yet they are not roots quite like this house that drives me so insane everytime i come home to it

they don't pull at my heart the way this house does. the way my pretty blue room with the orange and yellow themes and butterflies on the walls and flowers in every corner

i'm realizing right now that i may never experience coming home to one of the houses that truly built me ever again after my senior year. my childhood dogs will not always be around (one is already gone). my best friend won't always be forty minutes away. and my mom won't always be here to throw things at my door when i wake her up in the morning

and that's a different type of hurt

it's a different type of hurt from the first time you leave home because it's real now. it's so real. you make plans to leave the country and not come back for a few years, and it occurs to you that you are going to be a real adult with a job and bills, studying in a university that predates your fucking country, and it all becomes so scary in both the most heart wrenching but exciting way possible.

it's a different type of hurt because i'm ready for it this time. i'm not sure what to expect from this year. i'm not sure what to expect from my mid-twenties. i'm not even sure what to expect from being two years out from having a fully developed adult brain.

but i'm ready and im okay with that fear i feel.

it's all scary and it's all so hard. and yet i feel so much more prepared than i ever have before, despite knowing i'll never really be prepared for a single thing in my freaking life. my life is full of curveballs that fucking look down at the earth and go, "yeah, idk her but fuck her in particular."

god, who knew 23 was gonna be such a big year for me? it's only just started (and more than half of the lessons i learned were when i was 22 lmao) and i've already learned so much

i'm so different from how i was in january, and yet so similar to how i was at fourteen. crying over the same songs, regularly writing in a diary again for the first time since i was seventeen, unlearning the lessons i had force myself to learn to survive, reconsidering weather or not i've outgrown my dolls (i return to this every five years or so), wondering what im really going to do for the rest of my life

i've grown so much in my understanding of who i am and what i stand for. in being okay with not knowing everything and admitting when im wrong and letting things be well with my soul and not caring so much when the effort i put in isn't returned.

things are going to move really fast now, and i deserve a moment to stand back and applaud the universe and the little brooklyn that carried me here.

what a production the show has been so far, right?

i can't wait for the third act to start. but while i wait, i think i'll stick around here for a bit and cry some more.

i don't have to really move on until im good and ready.

[skjeinon]

savior complex - sidney crosby (part 2.)

sidney crosby x reader

(please read part 1)

warnings: 18+ , smut, mat barzal is a bad boyfriend, older brothers best friend, age gap, swearing, a little bit of crying.

reader is like 23/24!!

words: 5900

summary: y/n mackinnon, star players younger sister works for the NY islanders. falling for Mat Barzal, she's caught off guard when it comes out that he's cheating on her. she goes back home at the back end of the season and is finding herself remembering teenage years when nathan and sidney both come home for the offseason.

my hand on sidney’s cheek urged him to come closer, his free hand coming down to land on my bare thigh before the sound of a door unlocking began to rattle through the house.

quickly, he pulled away, our hearts pounding at a similar pace, as i opened my computer again, staring down my screen.

“hi honey, hi sidney.” my parents spoke as they walked into the house. the two of us quietly smiled and waved. it was late but my parents knew i was doing work and they just assumed he was here for support or to keep me company. they walked past us and into the kitchen, putting some things down before walking upstairs, saying goodnight to the two of us.

a sigh of relief washed over us. i turned back to sidney, my face flushed red. a smile formed on his face before he let out a gentle laugh.

“shut up.” i spoke, closing my laptop again before placing it on the coffee table.

“do you want sheets to sleep on?” i said, getting up. trying to ignore the broken tension between us. he nodded, holding back his laughs.

as i walked out of the living room to the linen closet, i could hear some shuffling of movement in the living room but i was quick to ignore it. reaching for some of the sheets on a higher level, i let out a strained noise before i felt his taller figure against mine. his hand reached past mine and grabbed them. i turned around to see his face. he was staring down at me and all i could do was burn, cheeks flushed red.

“if you slept with me , maybe i wouldn’t need a pillow ..” he spoke.

“wow. someone’s let that couch moment get to his head.” i said, pushing past him. i had to put on an act, just like i did with every guy, just to get away from that feeling of embarrassment he would create in me. but this time it wasn’t embarrassment or an ick. this time it was me genuinely trying to avoid being turned on by him. i just wanted to not think about it, not act on it. we had almost kissed.. and i knew i still wanted what i asked from him but it felt wrong, especially with nathan sitting upstairs.

i walked back to the living room, grabbing my laptop, he followed behind , almost like a lost dog.

“i’ll go grab you a pillow, we have blankets in that basket over there.” i spoke. he nodded.

running up the stairs with quiet ease, i stepped into my room, quickly grabbing my pillow. it smelled of my hair product and perfume.. perfect. i quickly made my way back downstairs, leaning over the couch to hand it to him.

“here you go.”

“thank you.” he placed the pillow down, pulling his little bed he created together. the two of us looked at each other momentarily before looking away. i realized maybe it’s time i go to bed also.

“well um. im gonna go to bed- sleep well sidney.” it was awkward. the flirting had almost died down immediately and i realized how hard it was gonna be to see him tomorrow morning, the awkward tension laying between us.

i padded my way up the stairs, falling into my bed. i inhaled sharply before i started kicking my legs , screaming into my pillow. I thought about how he almost kissed me, how gentle he was. his words- OH MY GOD.

i rolled over, holding in a scream as i kicked my legs again. i kicked my legs out, my arms spreading out beside me.

“oh my goodness.. i almost kissed him…” i covered my mouth, the smile on my face not fading until i finally rolled over and fell asleep.

———

it felt like ages had passed since this night, tension lingered between us over the next few days. it ended in me not seeing him for 2-3 days, due to just avoiding each other. i’ve been going out with home town friends, seeing them and avoiding my brother and his best friend.

i realized one day, amongst my thinking that i needed to call mat. i had been looking through stats and while finding that the new men brought on weren’t doing good with chemistry, and i saw mats name.. i wanted to tell him that i was done but i couldn’t just dive in yet.

friends and family had told me i needed to leave him but i just couldn’t do it .. not yet.

a soft sigh left me, grabbing my phone to see missed texts and a call i would ignore before i chose his number, reluctantly bringing my phone to my ear.

“hello?” his voice came over the phone, gruff. he sounded tired.

“hey mat.. can you talk right now?” i moved my arm, placing it under my arm that held my phone to my ear, getting comfortable.

i could hear the shuffling of him on the other side of the phone before he gave a small ‘mhm.’ followed by “yeah.. what’s up?”

i looked to my ceiling, taking in a deep breath. this was hard and it took everything in me for tears to not well in my eyes.

“well.. i think that we should maybe take a break, mat. i’ve been gone for over a week now and you just have barely talked to me, called me, reached out ?? i didn’t think it would work out but i really don’t know now. i just want to call it quits for a little bit…”

the words fell from me like a waterfall, my eyes threatened to do the same thing with tears.

“i understand, y/n. i’m sorry this really isn’t working how either of us wanted.” as if it wasn’t his own fault. “i um, i have to go..” he mumbled. i could hear a faint shuffling in the background of his voice.

“yeah.. okay. i’ll talk to you later..” pulling my phone from my ear, i ended the call.

in and out in and out.. breath. don’t cry don’t cry…

my body betrayed me as the tears fell from my eyes. i rolled over into my bed, grabbing my pillow and stuffing my face in as i began to sob.

it felt like i was alone and the way i had isolated myself to avoid that awkward confrontation between me and sid didn’t help. my body shook, heavy breaths and cries filled my room until there was a gentle knock.

“c-come in..” my voice shaky, i sat up and tried to wipe my tears. Nathan opened the door, looking at me through a small crack before walking in.

“y/n, what’s wrong??” he walked over, watching as the tears began to prick in my eyes again.

“i-i called mat to tell him i wanted to take a break from us..”

nathan leaned down, taking me into his arms. i kept my eyes covered by my hands before i could placed my face in his shoulder as i sobbed. he pulled me closer to him.

“oh my goodness.. i’m so sorry..” he mumbled , placing his chin on the top of my head. brotherly love always helped when i went through something hard, but it just didn’t help enough.

sitting there, i cried until the tears stopped coming. my breathing slowed and he finally could let me go.

“i’m sorry.” i looked up at him, trying to apologize for sitting there like a pathetic dog.

“don’t be sorry, i came in here cause i heard you crying. it’s my job to help you.” he looked down, seeing the wet spot on his shirt. “dang, you cry like how a faucet runs.” he teased.

a smile formed on my face, a weak laugh leaving me.

i looked around, my laptop had gone black from being timed out and my phone had been jumbled with texts but i ignored it.

nathan got up, walking to his room to change his shirt before he came back.

“what are you doing tonight?” he asked, looking at me as i wiped my face with tissues i had laying on my bed side table.

“nothing.. why?” my voice was quiet as i concentrated on wiping my face.

“me and sid are gonna go and hangout with some old friends , i was wondering if you’d wanna go? you can hangout with us.”

the offer made me smile, but the idea of really being with sid scared me. i was scared about the tension between us, but i wanted that time with my brother since i hadn’t been hanging out with him much recently.

after thinking for a moment i decided ‘how bad could it possibly be…’

“sure.. i’ll come. what time?” i looked up at him, my brain filling with the idea of sid again.

“around 6, we can get something to eat on the way, okay kiddo?”

“yeah that sounds good… thank you for inviting me.”

“thank you for spending time with me.” he said before he walked out, gently shutting the door behind him.

i collected myself in the time passing, putting away my laptop and picking an outfit that showed enough skin to tease someone but not too much to the point where i looked like a disaster. the shower i took was glorious. as soon as i stepped out, i checked the time and realized it was later than i’d hoped, causing me to only throw a bit of makeup at my face and essentially go with what stuck before i pulled on a skirt and another shirt i had found lying around. a sun dress felt too obvious but some big shirt over tiny shorts wasn’t obvious enough. maybe he’d notice the skirt… he ? sidney.

i left my room, meeting nathan downstairs before we left. he didn’t make a comment but i could see my moms face twist, holding in a comment about my outfit. something she’d spew to my father before she saw us again.

getting in the car, i brushed my skirt out before staring out the window, humming whatever song played over the radio while nathan drove.

we had stopped and grabbed something to eat, talking over fast food and silent overplayed tunes.

‘don’t make a mess in my car’ moms voice rang in our ears before we went to meet nathan’s friends.

i icked when i realized we were meeting an old group of friends from his high school. unlike crosby, this was someone who was actually my brothers age while i grew up. he always bullied me and not in the way i ever wanted. i was 18 and still being bullied by him at the local coffee shop until i moved.

at times i wish i had fallen for one of nathan’s younger friends. i mean him and i were only 2 years apart and his friends , if they were younger, they were closer to me in age. i could see us dating… but noooo.. i had to faun over the one and only, sidney crosby.

“yknow.. he’s got a pretty nice house now.” i chirped, getting out with nathan. nathan nodded before he walked over to his friend, giving him a hug. he had been waiting outside for us and other friends resided inside.

i walked up next to nathan, so called friend looked at me

“hi y/n.. long time no see. how’s new york been treating you?”

“awfully.” i spoke, glaring at him before we walked inside.

“she’s kidding!” nathan said, placing his hand on my shoulder to urge me forward.

“no i’m not!” i shouted back, being pushed ahead of the friend until nathan had gotten me inside.

getting inside, in the living room there was a collective of old friends sitting there, including sidney. he was looking down at his phone.

he sat against the couch, an arm laid across the back. his shorts were tight to his thighs, riding up his legs every time hed move. he wore a black button down, three buttons on the top undone, sleeves were rolled up to the crook of his elbow. his chain shining against his skin , falling into the crevices of his collarbone.

i swallowed hard before i looked back around, avoiding sidney’s eyes as he looked back up to see me and nathan. my eyes wondered the house until nate urged me to sit down, sitting next to sid.

the rest of the night, a lot of the guys just chatted.. they talked amongst beers and music playing over some speaker in the other room. sidney only butted into the conversation every now again, his gentle demeanor taking over him. he sat next to me with no protest, never said a word about it. but as i sat there, almost leaning into him, staring at my phone, his eyes began to wander. seeing how my thighs slowly became exposed under my skirt, then momentarily facing defeat when i would pull it back down.

i opened instagram, staring at posts through my feed before i opened DMs to respond to people who i had blown off earlier in my crying frenzy.

sidney was tired of the silence between us, he wanted to talk to me.

“how’s it been with you an mat?”

sidney leaned down close, speaking against the shell of my ear, quiet and to not draw attention to them.

“it’s fine.. i called him today and told him i wanted a break..” i spoke, aimlessly responding to a text.

“oh really? that mean you got time for me now?”

the typing against my screen stopped, my cheeks turned red as i turned to look at him.

“excuse me?” a scoff left me.

he stared down at me, moving his head back to get a good look at my face.

“nate, your sister and sid are flirting.”

the two of us who had been basically ogling each other all night both looked at the culprit before looking at nate. me and sidney awkwardly scooted away from each other..

“no we’re not-“ i mumbled, pushing my face back into my phone.

eventually, out of boredom and maybe a little idea to adventure the house, i got up. walking away in the area of the kitchen. no one raised any alarms so standing in the large kitchen , i rummaged the fridge, finding an unopened coke can.

i sat in silence while i stared at my phone. i opened DMs from fans of Mat, the usual. and i opened twitter to see others criticizing my work even though the playoffs for the islanders were long over.

hearing the padding of foot steps, i looked up, my eyes meeting sid’s.

a smile formed on my face as he walked over, standing against the counter next to me.

“sorry that he did that.” he laughed, knowing i had been embarrassed by one of his friends.

“it’s fine.” i shrugged, clicking the button on my phone, turning it off. “yknow, sometimes you men are ruthless.”

a laugh left the two of us as he came closer, our arms brushing as he stared out in front of the two of us, then turning to meet my eyes.

“if you’re bored.. i could take you home?” he said, noticing my phone was nearing a low battery. “maybe even stay..” he whispered. my face turned to see his, our eyes searching each other for a cue or something to say. no one interrupting this time and it felt like it was all crashing down before i uttered a short.

“sure.”

and suddenly the tension fell like rain drops from the sky. he moved away with a cocky smile on his face.

“okay great.. go tell your brother. i’ll grab my keys.”

a sigh left me as i stepped away from the counter, dragging the drink in my hand with me. i slowly passed back into the living room, walking up to Nathan.

“sidney is gonna take me home, he offered and i’m bored.”

nathan nodded and looked up at sidney as he grabbed his keys.

“me and y/n are heading out, i’m gonna go drop her at home…”

i drowned sidney out with the hammering of swarming thought in my head. oh god.

one of the guys eyed me and as our eyes met, he wiggled his eyebrows. i tried not to cringe as i felt sidney’s hand against the small of my back.

“cmon.” he whispered and i waved my goodbyes, walking out the door.

(funny little narrator pov switch)

getting in sidney’s car, the two of you would talk every now and again but if anything you were just trying to get back home. you prayed your parents were asleep by now.. or at least in bed. it would be too hard to sneak sidney to your room if they were in the living room. it seems significantly easier to explain everything to nathan than it does your own parents.

(okay welcome back)

sidney pulled to the side of the road, not wanting to hinder anything if he pulled in the driveway.

“let me go inside and check if my parents are up, i see their bedroom light on but there’s no telling.” i felt like a teenager as i got out and ran to the door, gently opening it to walk in and see no parents. i walked to the stares and couldn’t even hear the TV. they must’ve had an early night. it was only nearing 9-10 when we had shown up at the house, but for my parents that had seemed normal.

i poked my head back out the front door, staring at him from across the lawn and nodded for him to come inside. he took his keys and ran across the front lawn before stepping into the house with me. as i closed the door, he began to urge me upstairs.

“you haven’t even kissed me.. do you think i’m just gonna let you lay your hands on me?” i whispered, walking away from him, walking to the kitchen.

he practically chased after me, and as i stood in the fridge doors, staring at the contents inside, i could feel his fingers spread across my sides, his palms placed against my hips.

inhaling sharply, i could feel his head on my shoulder.

i blatantly ignored him while i grabbed a bottle of water. i grabbed one for him as well.

“here. take this-“ and pulling a hand away,

he grabbed the bottle, allowing me to turn myself in his arms. “i’m easy, but i’m not that easy..”

i placed the bottle down on the counter behind him before i wrapped my arms around his neck, a hand finding the curls of his post season hair.

his hands met my hips again, wrapping around my waist, his hands resting against the curve of my body.

tension was so thick, it filled the room, drowning us in it.

“y/n..”

“yeah?”

“can i kiss you now?”

i nodded before he came closer, our noses brushed against each others before our lips met.

it was quick, but coordinated. from then on it became longer, and got messier each time

our lips met. my hands moved up into his hair, soon a hand came down, placing on his cheek, urging him to come closer. he placed his flat palm against my back, pulling me flush against his body.

“sidney..” i mumbled against his lips, our bodies intertwined, finally breaking the gap between us. the gap that’s been been pushing us apart since i was 18.

“cmon..” he pulled away from my lips. “let’s go to your room.”

i nodded, reluctantly pulling away from him, my hands leaving his hair and his hands away from my hips made me feel unsatisfied.

he teased me quietly as we walked up the stairs, and as we walked into my room, he saw everything he had missed when i was a Teen. players and photos of old bands and old tim hortons promotional hockey cards, specifically crosby, scattered my room.

old hockey sticks laid against the back of my wall and the effeminacy of my room reflected of a teenage girl. the hockey memorabilia would clash but it just showed how deep my own roots fell.

“wow.. a big crosby fan, eh?” he laughed as i closed my door

“shut up.. you know i’m like your crazy fan.” our laughs almost synced as i walked up to him. his eyes met mine again as i pulled him down to kiss me again, my hand against his cheek, dragging my thumb over his stubbled cheeks.

his lips landed against mine, a short whimper left me as he placed his hands against the curve of my ass. he picked me up, placing me on my bed.

“are you sure you want this??” he spoke , his nose nudging mine as he asked for my approval.

“yes…” came out in a hushed whisper as he moved down, placing his lips on the soft skin of my neck.

he praised my body with just the few kisses to my neck, and as a whimper left me - feeling him place a kiss on that one spot - i covered my face.

“shh. don’t cover your face..” he spoke, pulling away from my neck. “if you’re a good girl, you’ll be able to hold it in and be quiet.”

my eyes widened, feeling butterflies in my stomach fighting with my body to get out.

“cmon, let’s get some clothes off of you.” he moved on like he hadn’t made me just almost cream my pants with his own words.

he placed his hands under the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head.

i could hear his breath hitch in his throat as he stared at my body, taking his lower lip between his teeth before he moved his hands down to my legs, hands on my hips before he slowly unzipped my skirt, pulling it from my legs.

connecting the dots under the haze of tension, he saw the set i wore matched, dawning a lacy black pattern.

“sorry it’s nothing special, i didn’t expect you to be in bed with me tonight.”

“don’t worry baby..”

the pet name drove me crazy. this is all i wanted from the time turned 18, graduated, moved to new york, started dating mat..

my hands came up, unbuttoning his shirt with ease, unlike the awkward, slow unbuttoning he’d perform. i inhaled through my nose, pushing the first off his shoulder before he pulled it off completely. sidney moved down and put his lips against mine again, pushing his hand down my body, feeling the skin down my abdomen before he neared my hips… down my thighs and between them, i shuttered.

“are you okay?”

“y-yes…” i mumbled against his lips.

his large hands grasped the inside of my thighs, squishing the skin against his palm before he moved closer to my cunt.

“please.. don’t tease me.” my hands came

up and fingers tangled in his hair as his fingers came down over my covered cunt.

“you’re so wet.. i didn’t realize i turned you on so much.” his cocky demeanor made me feel small.

“you have no idea.” both of us giggled quietly, our eyes opening to see each other as the laugh washed over us. his fingers pressed against me again, my giggle turning into a whimper.

“god baby.. you’re so pretty.” he spoke, pulling away. sidney grabbed my legs, moving me further onto my own bed, the bed dipping as he sat down on the plush sheets.

as he moved down , he had me sit up, quickly unclipping my bra before he let me lay back down.

he pulled it from my arms, my hands coming to my face to cover my eyes from embarrassment.

“stop it..” he whispered, uncovering my face. “you’re my beautiful girl.” he leaned down to place a kiss on my forehead before his hands came down, fingers hooking in my panties before he slowly pulled them down off of my hips.

i shuttered, feeling the cool air of my bedroom hit my cunt. i bit my lip, holding back a gasp while he threw my panties to another part of my room.

“you’re still okay, right?”

i nodded, a smile formed on his face. not ofc cockiness or arrogance but of comfort, in the fact that i was okay with him.

his hand came down, his fingers dragging through my folds, collecting the slick on my fingertips. he hummed in satisfaction, staring at his fingers.

“you’re so wet..” he took his lower lip in between his teeth, watching as i held back a whimper. he moved his hand back between my legs, pressing his fingertips to my clit, gently rubbing over the bud of nerves. at the touch, my hips bucked into his hand.

“sidney-“ his name fell from my lips, quiet and innocent.

sidney moved his fingers down, pressing at my entrance before he slid his fingers in me. my hand came over my mouth, knowing i wouldn’t be able to hold in my noises. his thumb pressed against my clit , causing me to shutter again.

sidney took his free hand, grabbing mine and pulled it away from my face.

“cmon .. i know you can do it. i know you can stay quiet for me~”

he took my wrists in his hand, holding them above my head as he began to thrust his fingers into me. arousal drowning me , the gentle squish every time his fingers met my pelvis.

my teeth dug into my lower lip, feeling like it could draw blood as i held back every noise my body wanted to let out. i had to stay quiet for both of our sakes and it was so hard, especially when the bitter taste of cooper filled my mouth.

breathing became heavy as his strokes over my clit became more disorganized, trying to make me cum on his fingers, but i protested. trying to speak in a low whisper as he continued to play with my cunt.

“nhh.. sidney, i want to cum on your cock..please..”

a short laugh left him, coming down to place a kiss on my lips. “so needy” he mumbled ,

my pants and short moans falling against his lips.

“i know.. fucking ugh~ i’m just..” incoherent sentences left me, too overwhelmed with his body against my own.

he slowly, excruciatingly slowly, pulled his hand away. the thought that he probably would end up not leaving was scary but i was too clouded to not even think about it. i would rather feel this now and deal with nathan later than this end so nathan didn’t know.

sidney sat up, placing himself between my hips, his eyes dragging down my body, splayed out on the bed for him, my hands on either side of my head.

“pretty girl..” he mumbled, leaning down to kiss me again as he used his hands to undo his belt and pants. he pulled himself from his boxers and i reached a hand down, my hand feeling his cock. he was thick and heavy in my hand.. god.

our movements were slow and heavy, he held my hips up, pressing himself against my slit. soft pants leaving the both of us, heavy breaths and slow breathing filled the room. the need to stay quiet holding us by the throat as he pressed the tip against me.

“you ready?” he whispered.

i nodded, biting my lower lip, ready to hold in whatever sound would leave me.

sidney’s head fell forward, holding in a grown as he slowly entered me.

“god..fucking hell—“ his voice was gruff. “you’re tight..” keeping himself composed, he pushed even further and finally bottomed out. he looked at me again and i had tears pricked in my eyes.

holding back every noise in me had me biting my lip to the point of bleeding.

“are you okay, baby?” he moved a hand to wipe my eyes.

i nodded. “yeah.. you’re just big-“ a soft laugh left me, trying to not be embarrassed over the tears in my eyes.

we sat there for a moment, taking each other in. his eyes dragging over my body again. it was dark and the only thing lighting the room was the bright moon in the window which surprisingly was a good light in my room, but he wanted to see me.

“can i turn on a light?” he said, looking over at the lamp on my bedside table.

nodding, he reached over, turning the light on, a short noise leaving me as he moved his hips against my own.

turning the light on, he looked down at me, seeing my face red.

my skin , painted with a soft shade pink. my shoulders warm with blush, my knuckles white from gripping the sheets and corner of my eyes stained with the former home of tears.

he watched my chest rise and fall with the shorts pants, the way my lips fell open before my tongue shot out to lick my lower lip.

sidney was mesmerized by my body , reaching his hands down to grip my thighs, his fingers pressing my soft skin watching as my thighs squished against his fingers.

“do you think i can move now, baby?” he squeezed my thigh for approval.

i nodded.

“words. use your words baby.”

“yes.. you can move” i looked up at him, with doe eyes waiting for him to move. he held out for a moment before he moved back, snapping his hips against mine. i wasn’t ready for it, slapping my hand over my mouth with the fear of someone hearing the cry that left me.

his head fell forward, holding back a groan as he slowly began to thrust into me. my breaths were heavy and rough, jaw clenched. skin met skin and the noise filled the room, lingering with strangled moans and gruff groans.

“s-sid.. you feel so good.. it’s so - ngh..” my words trailed off, hardly being able to hold a low voice.

Sidney placed his hand on my calf, moving my leg up on his shoulder. he moved over me , placing his hands on either side of my body. he leaned down and placed his lips against mine before he let a groan out into my mouth.

“you’re so good.. you’re such a good girl.” he mumbled, leaving open mouthed kisses on me.

our bodies were intertwined, noises were quiet but sounded loud to us, the fear that someone would hear was overwhelming but that just made it all better. nathan would be home soon but i just needed sidney to take me once.. to let me be his, once.

the way he had edged me on his fingers left me close to climax so i wasn’t far behind when his hips began to press against mine a little harder everytime he thrusted into me.

“sidney… fuck.. i’m close..” i strained as i spoke, biting down on my lip again in order to keep myself quiet.

“god.. i can feel it baby. can i cum inside?”

in a haze, i nodded. my brain was cloudy with arousal.

“cmon baby, i got you. cum on my cock , baby girl.” he mumbled, holding me closer as my climax washed over me, my hips bucking into his as i pulled him closer,

biting into his shoulder.

“fuck..” he said, groaning against the shell of my ear as i bit into his skin.

coming down from my high, he wasn’t far behind. overstimulation left me sensitive as he sent himself into me, thrusts disorganized before he finally bottomed out in me, his cum spilling into me as he pushed his face into my neck, moans spilling out against my skin.

i brought my hand up, putting my fingers in his hair while he came inside of me. he sat there for a moment, body becoming heavy against my own.

“s-sid..?”

he nodded with a small sound of acknowledgment.

“you’re kinda heavy..”

he took that as a sign to sit up, looking down at me. my cheeks still flushed pink.

“you’re so gorgeous.. god..” he kissed me again, smiling against my lips.

sid sat up, finally pulling out. as he did , a gentle gasp left me before he finally was done. i sat up after he did so and laid against my headboard.

“do you think nathan’s home?” sid asked as he stood up, walking across the room to my bathroom to get a damp washcloth.

“i’m not sure.. i’ll go downstairs in a minute to see..”

sidney came back and spread my legs, a look of embarrassment washed over me as he wiped down my thighs and my cunt. biting my lower lip, he let out a soft chuckle when he realized i was holding in another noise.

“maybe next time we should do this somewhere so i can hear you..” sid got up and threw the cloth in a pile of dirty laundry.

“do you possibly have a shirt or something i could take?”

slipping out of the bed, i walked to my closet with him next to me, his hand on my lower back. i found some panties, shorts and a hoodie for me to wear while i found an old t-shirt for him.

“this good?”

he had pulled on a t-shirt and cleaned up the clothes scattered in the room as i slipped out of the room and down the stairs. the house was dead quiet but the car pulling into the driveway made me almost curse myself.

“oh god-“ stumbled back up the steps before i looked at sidney coming into my room.

“he’s back!! you have to go downstairs and we need to act like you’re just spending the night again.”

he nodded and we practically ran down the stairs. sidney threw himself on the couch while i ran off to find more sheets, turning the light on in the other room.

nathan walked in and me and sidney were in place like it was some movie.

“ah, i was wondering why your car was still parked outside.”

sidney laughed a little, terrified of what nathan could even possibly be thinking had happened between me and sid.

the two of us laughed a little while putting the sheets down.

“yeah. y/n just wanted someone to talk to for a bit- about mat and stuff.” sidney looked up at nate and he gave a thumbs up before walking to the stairs.

“okay, goodnight guys.”

And just like that, facing Nathan was over. easy peasy. Me and sid finally finished putting his little bed together and i went to get a pillow for him, coming back down he was laying against the back of the couch. i leaned over the back of it and gave him a small, unexpected kiss, handing it to him. he placed his hand on my cheek, feeling my soft skin before he pulled away from the kiss.

“i’ll see you in the morning..” he whispered against my lips. a smile formed on my face and i kissed him one more time before i said goodnight, turning off the lights.

(part 3?? lmk, also tom wilson fic coming soon)

[whumperooni]

what’s mine is mine

Pairing: Touya Todoroki x Sister!Reader

Tags/Warnings: tw incest, tw breeding kink, scumbag squad, drugs and drinking, possessive behavior

Word count: 5.7k

A/N: This is in response to a big brained nonny! I’m so sorry it took me so long to get to it!

“Touya-nii, do you want some- oh. Sorry, nii-san, I didn’t know you had guests over...”

Touya lifts his head from his phone to find you standing in the doorway- a curious tilt to your head and hands clasped behind your back. On the couch across from him, his shitty friends are looking at you- just as curious but with a look in their eyes that he doesn’t appreciate.

There’s a reason he doesn’t have them over when you’re home.

“Woah, Todoroki- who is this? Don’t tell me that’s your little sister. Where’ve ya been hiding her?”

Touya huffs as Keigo grins and you flush- teeth digging into your bottom lip, eyes lowering to the floor under the attention, a tiny smile threatening to form that Touya is very unhappy to see.

“C’mere, little birdy, let us see ya. Come say hi.”

The scowl that breaks across Touya’s face only makes Keigo smirk. Your eyes dart to Touya- seeking his approval, your face flustered- and Touya huffs again, rolls his eyes whenever Jin raises a brow toward him.

At least Tenko’s already gone back to playing his game- head bowed and bloodshot eyes only flicking toward you whenever Touya waves you over to him and you hesitantly enter the room.

He doesn’t like the way three sets of eyes run over your legs and he really doesn’t like the way Keigo’s smirk grows whenever his own eyes narrow.

Fuckin’ bastard. He’s nothing but scum.

Touya grabs your wrist as soon as you’re close enough to him to do so and he yanks you down onto his lap, ignores the squeak that leaves you whenever he wraps his arms around your waist and hooks his chin over your shoulder, rests a hand on your thighs.

“Asshole friends, this is my little sister. Sis, these are my asshole friends.”

“Yo.”

“Hey.”

“...mmm.”

“H-Hi...”

Keigo coos at your shy voice and Jin smiles a little- expression hazy from all the weed he’s smoked. Tenko glances at you- pointedly at your legs, between them- and Touya scowls, squeezes your thighs and pulls you even closer against him.

“Hey, baby, why don’t you come over here with us? If you want a lap to sit on, you can always use mine or Jin’s.”

“What about mine?”

“No one wants to sit on yours, weeb.”

“You can sit on mine,” Jin mumbles, barely audible over Tenko and Keigo’s squabbling. “I don’t mind.”

Your head moves with a shake and your fingers curl into your skirt- cheeks flaring as you press back against Touya. Something relaxes in his chest with that and he hugs you a little closer, smothers the impulse to lay his lips to your neck.

“N-No, thank you,” you mumble to Jin- so polite, so shy, so very good with your refusal.

“Didn’t want you to anyway.”

Touya snorts at that, just shakes his head when you look back at him in confusion.

Out of all of them, Jin’s probably the least likely threat. Tenko would be if he didn’t have a habit of staring and sneaking photos of any and every girl he can- he wouldn’t ever actually try anything on you, but Touya doesn’t want upskirt photos of his lil sis on that perv’s phone.

Keigo’s the worst by and far. And Touya will be damned if he lets his little sister get anywhere near that jackass with his sickly sweet charm, shit eating grins, and groping hands.

No way- you’re his.

“Nii-san,” you whisper, looking back at him with your cute little flushed cheeks and shy eyes. “Nii-san, I just came down to ask if you wanted some dinner. Natsuo-nii said he’d pick up some take-out...”

Natsuo? What the fuck are you doing hanging around Natsuo? That little shit should be on some cheesy date with his squeaky mouse of a girlfriend instead of trying to weasel in some time with you.

Touya doesn’t know which he hates more- the thought of his sleazy friends trying to flirt with you or the thought of you hanging out with your older brother, his younger brother.

When he only scowls in response, your face falls. You turn on his lap until you’re sat facing him- fingers curling into his shirt and brow furrowed, your bottom lip jutting out into one of those cute pouts of yours that you like to wear when you’re worried about him.

Over your shoulder, Touya can see Jin’s confusion and Tenko’s cocked brow, Keigo’s narrowed eyes. He flashes them a sneer that you can’t see and settles his hands on your hips, looks back down at you to see what’s got you bothered enough to forget your shyness.

“Onii-chan,” you start- voice tilting with a soft whine, something almost lecturing creeping through the words. “Nii-san, Natsuo-nii was just being nice. And you need to eat.”

Your hands run down his chest and your expression grows softer as you look up at him through your lashes, your voice gets quieter as you whisper to him,

“I worry about you, nii-san. You’re so skinny...”

The tips of your fingers press into the spaces between his ribs and Touya sighs as concern fills your eyes, ignores the stares of his friends from across the room.

“Fine, whatever,” he grumbles. “Get something for me and put it in the fridge. I’ll eat it later.”

“You promise?”

A huff leaves him and you pout whenever he rolls his eyes, but a nod of his head gets your lips quirking up with a pleased little smile all the same.

“I’ll get you some low mein,” you chirp, hands smoothing down his chest. “And I’ll have Natsuo-nii get you some beer too!”

“Aw, ain’t she just the sweetest.”

Keigo’s croon has you blushing and Touya huffs again once your head ducks- lips twitching with irritation as you squirm on his lap and the blonde across the room bares his teeth at him in a grin.

Fuckin’ dick.

“I, um, I- I should go tell Natsuo-nii,” you mumble, cheeks still flared up and voice dipping shy again. Touya just grunts and he squeezes your hips before giving one a little smack.

A press of soft lips to his cheek and then you’re off- Keigo, Jin, and Tenko all watching as you hurry out of the room and out of sight.

As soon as you’re gone, they look to him and Touya’s eyes narrow when a low whistle sounds from Keigo.

“Shit, Todoroki, and here I thought your whole family was just a bunch of dogs.”

“Oh fuck off,” Touya snaps, reaching for the blunt wraps with a scowl. “Don’t get any fuckin’ ideas, birdbrain.”

“Ideas?” Keigo laughs- grin still in place, turning sleazy. “Now why would I have any ideas about your cute lil sis and her cute lil tits.”

“I said fuck off.”

“She is pretty cute,” Jin mumbles, fingers scratching along his chest and lips holding a dazed smile that only has Touya scowling darker. “Like her ass...”

“Bet she cums like an ahego whore,” Tenko throws out without even looking up from his stupid fucking game. “Looks like a dumb slut.”

“Think the weeb’s right,” Keigo sneers. “Hey- she got a boyfriend, Todoroki?”

“I don’t know- you got a black eye?”

“Aw, cute- he’s protective.”

“Virgin then,” Tenko pipes up. “Bet she’d cream herself if she got kissed.”

A growl rips from Touya and the three bark out some laughs- Keigo and Tenko smirking while Jin’s dumb little smile grows.

He’s gonna fucking kill these assholes.

He knew they’d be nothing but scum when it came to you- he should’ve made sure you’d be out of the house before he let these three dicks come over for a smoke sesh.

Touya scowls and his friends keep up- slinging lewd comments and jeers as he smokes and stews.

◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾

Two in the morning and Touya’s buzzed.

Buzzed and fucking pissed.

Those assholes didn’t let up all night. Every other sentence out of Keigo’s mouth was about fucking you, getting you on your knees, making you drunk and stupid so he could wreck your ass. Tenko kept comparing you to characters from his ero games and Jin kept mumbling how he wanted you to sit on his dick, warm his cock while he smokes.

Jin was bareable, kind of. But Tenko and Keigo?

It’s a goddamn miracle he didn’t break their faces.

Touya scowls as he watches his so called friends head out and narrows his eyes at one last jeer of “kiss your sis good night for me” tossed out ny Keigo.

Those fuckers need to learn some manners. Those fuckers need to learn who you belong too.

Scowl deepening, Touya heads toward your room- feet stumbling and teeth gritting.

You’re asleep when he barges in- face peaceful, blanket twined between your legs, fingers curled into the sheets. He looks over you for a second, runs his eyes over bared thighs and cotton panties, and then he walks toward the bed, climbs onto it.

As soon as the mattress dips, your lashes flutter open and you stir with a sigh. You don’t do more than give a sleepy blink when he brackets himself over you, offer him a fuzzy, drowsy smile.

“Touya-nii...? What...what time is it?”

“Two.”

A hum and a yawn, another sleepy little blink. You’re cute like this and usually Touya would just crash beside you, but he’s got other plans right now- stupid, drunk, dumb plans but plans all the same.

“Hey- hey, don’t go back to sleep.”

There’s a huff from you, a furrowing of your brows. But you obey him as you always do; you sit up with another yawn and rub at your eye with a loose fist, let him tug the covers off of you without a fuss.

“Nii-san...nii-san, what is it?”

Touya ignores you and he grabs onto your still sleepy face, pulls you closer until he can kiss you, make you whine and moan. You jerk, just a bit, at the way he bites into your bottom lip and then you’re melting into his touch, looking up at him through half-shut eyes whenever he breaks the kiss and runs his drunken gaze over your flushed face.

“Nii-san...?”

Touya grunts and thumbs away a dribble of spit from the corner of your lips, ignores the quiet confusion written all over your face. You press into his touch and he watches you blink, reaches over to flick on the lamp without looking. He almost knocks it over but he ignores that, too, and kisses you again- not caring if you’re blinking rapidly to adjust to the sudden light or if you’re still thrown a little off kilter by his mood and his lingering scowl.

This kiss is rougher- his fingers snarling into your hair and his tongue forcing its way into your mouth, his grip tightening on your head. You whimper with it and Touya growls, doesn’t pull back until he feels you tremble and shake. Your lips part with a question, quivering and plumped up from his bites, and Touya huffs before it can sound, grits out his own.

“You love me, right?”

Your eyes snap open, you breathe in sharp and fast- bewilderment all over your face and any lingering traces of sleep evaporated in an instant. Your hands fly to his face and his lips twitch at the touch, he presses into it even if it’s a fucking weak little move.

“Touya-nii, of course I love you! I love you with all my heart!”

Sweet, a little hurt, absolutely sincere- you say it with wide eyes and so much concern that it makes him want to scowl even deeper, punch himself for being so stupid to even ask.

Of course you love him- he’s your nii-san after all.

Touya huffs and his shoulders relax a little, his tongue darts out to wet his lips as your brows scrunch together in worry.

You’re a good little sister. He doesn’t have anything to worry about- never will.

But fuck he’s still pissed.

“I wanna do something,” he half-growls out. “You’ll be good for me, yeah?”

A flush, a squirm. You nod, though- brows still furrowed and eyes scanning his face in search for some answer to your confusion.

“Of course, nii-san,” you whisper. “I- of course. What-”

“Take your clothes off. All of ‘em.”

A soft noise slips from you and you breathe in shakily, but there’s no hesitance in the way your hands rise to tug off your shirt.

Touya watches for a moment and then he gets up from the bed, walks over to the door and closes it, locks it.

You’re naked by the time he comes back- flushed but not embarrassed, bruises littered everywhere your clothes can hide them. Touya eyes the bruises, those marks he’s put all over his dear, sweet little sister, and his lashes lower, something hungry and greedy starts to grow inside of him.

You’ve never belonged to anyone but him.

He touches your cheek- soft in the moment, rough edges hazed over by your adoration. A tap to it has your lashes fluttering, a press of his thumb to your lips has you shuddering.

“We’re gonna make a lil movie,” he rumbles out. You startle, eyes flying wide open once again, but you don’t protest or tell him no even if unease has your fingers curling tight into the sheets.

You never tell him no.

“I...okay, nii-san...”

The compliance has him humming- thumb dipping past your parted lips so he can press it down against your wet tongue.

It’s sweet how you agree, satisfying- more satisfying then the beer he threw back all throughout the night and the weed he smoked away.

A lick to his lips and Touya pulls away, starts to strip away his clothes- hands fumbling, clumsy as he tries to undo buttons and zippers. You watch him silently- cheeks heating up and thighs pressing together- and your teeth find your bottom lip when he starts to tug down his boxers, when his cock springs free.

“Turn around,” he orders. “Get on your knees, put that fucking pretty face against the bed and raise that ass up for me.”

Shivering, you obey- a mewl slipping from you as you do.

Touya grabs his phone from his pants and he kneels by the bed, pulls up the camera and hits record.

You’re wet and it’s easy to see even in the lowlight, even on the shitty phone screen. When he grabs onto your ass with his free hand and spreads your cheek, your hole clenches- tightens and spreads and makes him smirk.

“So fucking wet for me,” he half-sneers, a laugh sounding through the words. “Look at this pretty lil cunt all soaked and eager.”

“T- Touya...”

He huffs at your little whimper of a whine and brings the phone even close, records the way your hips twitch and your cunt sucks in his thumb when he presses against it.

“So fuckin’ wet and warm. So tight,” he hisses. “All for me, baby- right?”

“Y- yes. It’s all- all for you!”

Touya snorts and he slips his thumb out so he can spread your pussy open again, presses his palm against it and then lays a wet smack to your ass that has you yipping, arching your hips even closer to him.

“You ever been with anyone but me?”

The sheets rustle as you shake your head and Touya grips your ass tight, digs his fingers in deep and makes you squirm, whine. When there’s no verbal answer, he spanks you again in warning and you whine even louder, press your thighs tight together.

“N- no! Just you! Just Touya!”

“You want anyone else?”

“No! Never!”

Touya grins and the restless anger in him quells, just a little, at your mewled loyalty.

A fucking good little sister indeed.

Touya aims the camera at the red blooming across your ass and then he stands, moves it over to capture your arched back. He runs his hand over your side and you shiver a little, press your hips back against him until his cock nudges at your soaked cunt.

“You wanna get fucked, sweetheart?” he half taunts- the words coming out sickly sweet, rough around the edges.

“Please!”

Your moan is even sweeter than his question- hips bucking back against his cock, fingers fisting the sheets tight in your hold.

“Think you can do better than that,” he huffs, leaning over until he can tangle his fingers into your hair. “Tell me how bad ya want it.”

A whine sounds- pathetic and flustered, pitching up sharp as he yanks your head up from the bed. The tiniest sob slips from you as he forces your head back and you stare up into the camera- cheeks flushed, eyes glittering, an undeniable need flourishing across your your face.

“Please, nii-san,” you beg, nearly breathless and so fucking sweet. “Please I want- I want you to fuck me! I want- want your cock!”

“Only mine?”

Another whine and you nod, whimper as your hair gets tugged and pulled by the movement.

“Only Touya-nii’s!”

“Good girl.”

A gasp from you and a cute little mewl- the praise has you flushing darker and a tremble wracking through your body, your lashes fluttering and falling half-shut.

“Nii-san, please...”

Touya grunts and the camera shakes in his hand for a moment before he steadies himself. He rocks against you, has you whimpering, and then he grips his cock, lets you bury your face back into the sheets as he starts to push his way into your eager little cunt.

You clench around him, so fucking eager as always, and Touya groans at that, lowers his phone to show off the way his cock slides into your plush little pussy with ease.

“So fucking wet, baby,” he praises- taunts- in a growl. “Ain’t never had a cunt like yours. So fucking tight and sweet. You were made to take my dick, weren’t cha?”

A shuddering moan wracks through you- body trembling and cunt clenching around his cock so tight it makes Touya hiss and claw his nails into your hips. You whimper at the sting and he doesn’t have to see your face to know you’ve got tears in your eyes, doesn’t have to hear any mewl or whine to know that you love it.

“I- I was made- was made- oh, nii-san!”

Touya snorts at your moan, tilts his head back with a groan as he sinks even deeper into your silken, squeezing little cunt.

“Throw those fucking hips back,” he snarls, orders. “Fuck yourself on me.”

A mewl and you do just as he says- rocking your hips back like the obedient girl you are and whining as his piercings drag along the throbbing walls of your pussy. Touya rolls his head back forward so he can watch and he angles the camera so he can capture the way the soft flesh of ass jiggles each time it meets his pelvis.

“So fuckin’ good,” he mumbles. “Takin’ it so well- best fuckin’ pussy around. No one fucks like my lil sis.”

It’s more to the camera- to the future audience- but you still whimper and grind against him, drags your nails over the sheets with a soft little whine.

“Nii-san- Touya-nii, please!”

“What? You gonna come already?”

“Please!”

Touya huffs and he lays a spank to your ass, drags out a moan and has your hips stuttering against him.

“Come on nii-san’s cock then. Come nice and pretty like a good girl.”

A whimper and then you’re trembling, whining as your cunt clenches and flutters around his cock. His teeth grit with the squeeze of your cumming pussy and Touya has to dig his nails back into your hip so he doesn’t moan- lips pulling into a growling snarl as he tries not to cum with you.

“Nii-san! Nii-san!”

He lets you moan and writhe and mewl until you limp beneath him and then he leans over you, presses his chest flat against your back and curls his fingers into your hair, jerks your head to the side and shoves the phone in your face.

He wants them to see your flushed face and muddied eyes. He wants them to see your fucked out face and fluttering lashes. He wants them to see your face as he cums inside of you, as you cum on his cock again.

Touya fucks into you- movement shallow, his cock still driving in so fucking deep- and you moan, shudder whenever his teeth scrape over your shoulder.

“You like nii-san’s cock fuckin’ deep inside you?”

“Oh- oh, yes! Love it nii-san!”

It comes out whiny- so fucking needy. Touya grunts when your cunt pulses around him and he fucks into you rough, makes you mewl out his name.

“Nii-san’s gonna fuckin’ fill ya,” he snarls. “Fill your tight lil cunt. Gonna fuckin’ breed ya! Breed my sweet lil sis- fuckin’ shit- gonna cream that cunt!”

“Please! Please! Touya- nii please!”

You beg so fucking sweet. Touya snarls and he fucks into you rough, pulls your hair tight as he shoots his cum deep into your needy little pussy, fills you to the goddamn brim with his seed. You cum, again, with him and you moan as you do- so loud and cute.

Whimpers rip from you as he humps his cum deep inside you and you shudder when he grinds into your cunt, coo dreamily whenever he lays a kiss to your flushed cheek.

“That’s my girl,” he murmurs.

A mewl as you nod drowsily and Touya snorts at your sleepy smile, turns the camera to his face and sneers before ending the recording.

He drops it in the groupchat before he slides out of you and sits back on his knees. You nuzzle into the covers as he runs his hand through his hair and Touya huffs, snorts as you yawn.

“C’mon,” he tells you- maybe quietly fond in a way he’ll never admit-, “let’s crash.”

You hum and you nod and Touya lets you shuffle under the covers, follows after you and pulls you close.

He clicks off the lamp and the two of you drift off to sleep- satisfaction filling Touya as his phone goes off and a happy smile on your face. 

◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾

Tenko is the first to watch the video.

He gets the notification in the middle of crushing up some pills. His first instinct is to just ignore it, but impulse has him reaching for the phone, has his thumb clicking the play button before he can really think about it.

His brow arches, but he’s not too surprised by the smut dropped into the chat- between Keigo and Touya it happens on the weekly and he’s more than used to it.

He could use new fap material, anyway.

Tenko settles back in his chair and takes his cock out, gives it a stroke as he eyes the cunt filling the screen.

Wet, cute- he’d like to fuck it, fill it.

Why the fuck does Touya always get such sweet pussy?

A scowl twists his lips, but his hand twists along with it- pumps along his shaft as he enjoys the sight of arched hips and a cute ass.

He’d fucking wreck that ass given the chance. Slam his dick deep inside and makes this bitch moan.

“You wanna get fucked, sweetheart?”

“Please!”

Fuck- what a good lil cunt.

Tenko grunts as he rocks into his fist, but then he fucking moans when he sees just who Touya is fucking.

Shit- fuck.

He knew the bastard was twisted but goddamn.

Tenko almost laughs, but he’s too busy jerking himself off even faster- eyes narrowed and teeth gritted, a pant sounding from him.

“Yeah, shit. Fuck that little sluts’s cunt. Breed your lil sis you fucking dick.”

He should be disgusted, probably. Horrified at the very least.

But fuckin’ hell this is hot and he’s been jackin’ it to shit like this for years anyway.

And, fuck, this is real- this is hottest shit he’s watched all month. All goddamn year.

Tenko cums before the clip is even over and he keeps fucking his fist even after, replays it with a hissed curse.

Touya better drop more after this. He better let them see this in real life- Tenko needs to see this slut’s fucked out face in the flesh, needs to shove his fingers into your moaning mouth and make you choke.

Tenko licks his lips and he saves the video- saves it a second time for a back up.

Just in case.

◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾

The second person to see the video is Jin.

He’s home- drunk, high, smoking a cigarette and watching reruns of Doraemon.

He’s feeling fuzzy, good. The night had been chill and he had liked getting a glimpse of Touya’s little sister- you’d been real cute, real sweet. He had wanted you to sit next to him- maybe in his lap like Keigo had teased- and he had wanted to hug you close, get you just as high and fuzzy as him.

He might have a lil puppy dog crush on you now- how could he not with you so shy and sweet?

Jin hums as he thinks of you, scratches his stomach and grins sleepily- one laugh leaving him as he watches Nobita fail once again.

His phone buzzes and Jin fumbles a hand over until he can pick up, blinks and raises a brow when he finds a video in the chat.

Someone fucked or someone did something stupid.

Or fucked someone stupid.

A snort leaves him and Jin takes a draw of his cigarette, lounges back and presses play.

It’s the usual shit- hot and boasting and showing off a cute lil wet cunt, a soft and sweet ass. 

He’s a bit jealous, maybe. (Definitely)

He’s a bit too relaxed and heavy to get off on it, maybe. (No he’s not)

Eyes drawing half-shut, Jin reaches a hand down his sweatpants. He strokes himself lazily as he watches Touya spanks his mewling, whiny little slut and he smokes as he does, too- humming whenever he hears the plea to be fucked.

Cute. (Hot)

Whoever this is seems like a good little girl. (A needy little whore)

A small grunt leaves him when he watches Touya tangle his fingers into hair, but a gasp of “shit” leaves him whenever a head is jerked back and he sees a cute, flushed face that he definitely knows.

“What the fuck?”

He has to pause the video, bring the phone up to his face and squint at the screen.

He’s not seeing this right- can’t be seeing this right. He’s too drunk, too stoned. too fucked up- his vision is betraying him. It has to be.

...right?

Jin stares at the screen. He stares and stares and stares. His thumb hovers over the screen, hesitating, and the ashes from his cigarette fall onto his bare chest while he tries to decide what to do.

Touya wouldn’t really...he’s not really fucking his little sister is he?

No way. No fucking way.

(Yes fucking way)

Jin blinks and his thumb hit the screen, he swallows as he watches you beg for your big brother’s cock.

Fuck, that’s sick. That’s disgusting.

(That’s so fucking hot.)

His cheeks flush and his eyes widen, draw back down to lazy slits. His fingers twitch along his cock, tighten back around it when he gets treated with the sound of a whimper, a moan.

You sound so fucking good. (You sound so fucking whiny)

You’re so cute- you probably have such a tight, wet little pussy. (You probably have such a sloppy, fucked out cunt if Touya fucks you like this on the regular)

Shit, he wants to know how your cunt feels. He wants you on his lap, wants to feel you clench around his cock like a good little girl.

(A good little whore)

It’s too much to watch- too much to handle. Jin closes his eyes and tilts his head back with a groan, jerks himself to all the mewls and growls and groans and begs that sounds from the phone.

He comes along to the sound of you coming and he shudders after it, drags his hand over his cock and wipes the mess over his sweats.

...fuck. He shouldn’t have done that- he shouldn’t have watched that. He’s not going to be able to look you in the eyes if he ever gets to see you again.

(Fuck your eyes- he wants to look up your skirt, see that cute little pussy again)

Jin frowns and he runs his hand through his hair, tosses his burnt out cigarette into the ashtray before lighting another.

On the tv, Doraemon laughs. On his phone, Touya kisses your cheek and smirks at the camera- at Jin.

Fuckin’ dick. (Lucky bastard)

Jin shakes his head and he closes his eyes again, takes a draw and blows out a plume of smoke toward the ceiling.

...he’s got some fucked up friends. (No more fucked up than him)

A grimace and then Jin looks to his phone, taps on the screen and watches through heavy lidded eyes as his friend fucks his sweet little sister.

◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾◾

Keigo’s the last to see the video- he finds it in the chat after he’s sent the neighbor girl back home, after he’s gotten some head and drawled out promises of feelings that he’ll never feel for some dumb little whore with aspirations of home in the ‘burbs and a passel of brats.

He snorts when he sees it, thinks it’s just some busted bitch that Touya talked into coming over so he could rail his anger out.

Touya’s always been a touchy little shit.

He stills plays it, though- drops down on to his bed and kicks back, takes a swig of beer.

It’s a pretty little cunt that gets flashed his way- wet and eager, nice and snug looking. Keigo rolls his eyes whenever Touya’s fuckin’ voice sounds, but he’d be lying if he didn’t enjoy the sight of that cute cunt sucking in a rough thumb, the sound of a little whimpers and mewls.

Not a bad pussy, not a bad voice- maybe this slut isn’t that busted?

Or maybe she’s just a butterface.

A snort and Keigo lazily works his hand down his chest, underneath his sweatpants. He strokes him even if he’s just half hard and he lets his gaze drift to something half-lidded, amused and lazy.

“So fuckin’ wet and warm. So tight. “All for me, baby- right?”

Fuckin’ show off- as if this one ups the coed Keigo had last week, as if this one ups the way he had fucked her throat raw in the library and came all over her dumb face, all over her fat tits.

“Y- yes. It’s all- all for you!”

Wait a second...

Keigo blinks and his brow arches as he watches Touya lays a smack across a cute little ass.

That voice sounds kind of familiar. Someone he’s fucked before? Did Touya snag one of his sloppy seconds?

Fuckin’ maybe- fucker is stupid and petty enough to do that.

Not that Keigo cares, though- he’s never fucked anyone that he’d get jealous over.

It’s more funny than anything, actually.

Keigo snorts, again, and he pumps his cock with a sneer.

“You ever been with anyone but me?”

Yeah, you’ve been with someone better. Will probably come crawling back to him, too, when you’re left dissatisfied by Touya’s weak ass stroke game.

“N- no! Just you! Just Touya!”

...what?

“You want anyone else?”

“No! Never!”

What?

Who the fuck is this bitch?

Keigo scoffs as he hears a beg to be fucked sound, rolls his eyes as he watches skinny fingers tangle into hair.

Maybe he’ll have to hunt down this slut and wreck her, shove it in Touya’s face right back.

Keigo drags his palm over his cock right as Touya jerks a headful of hair back and Keigo damn near crushes his dick whenever he catches sight of just who Touya has caught in his clutches.

Oh that fucking bastard. That son a bitch.

A slew of curses hisses from him and Keigo snarls as he takes in your teary, needy face, as he hears his creep of a friend’s little sister beg to be fucked by Touya.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

The growl spits out of him and Keigo is barely aware of it- can’t fucking care about it as he watches Touya nail his cute lil sis.

This is absolute fucking bullshit. He can’t believe that fucking prick is railing his sister. He can’t believe that petty fucking asshole is dumb enough to show it off.

What the fuck? What the absolute fuck?

Keigo’s hand moves faster and he snarls as he twists his wrist, as pre-cum spills all over his fingers.

Touya doesn’t fucking deserve that cute lil pussy. Touya doesn’t deserve to rail you with your sweet ass and mewling moan and hot little whines. Touya doesn’t fucking deserve you at all.

It doesn’t cross his mind for one moment how wrong the whole situation is. It doesn’t cross his mind that he should be disgusted over a brother fucking his little sister, that he should be disgusted over the way Touya hisses promises of fucking breeding his little sister’s cunt.

If he’s disgusted it’s only because he’s not the one fucking you- that Touya got to you first.

Oh, Touya is going to fucking regret this.

He’s going to fucking ruin you.

Keigo hisses as he cums and he growls as Touya’s stupid fucking lips quirk into a smirk on the screen, snarls and throws his phone down onto the bed as his hips jerk and pound against his fist.

“Fucking bitch! Stupid fucking whore!”

No wonder you were so goddamn shy. No wonder you didn’t sit in his lap like you should’ve. It wasn’t him- it was you; it was Touya.

The beer bottle gets swiped to the floor and Keigo growls as he rips his hand from his pants and scrubs the cum on his sheets.

Touya’s going to fucking pay for this.

Keigo saves the video and he scowls as he does- face dark, teeth gritted, stormy plans of revenge brewing in his mind.

[blogevaawrites]

BIG DEAL

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: smut, cheating, angst

Summary: After being away of you boyfriend for three weeks, you come to Chris’s  house after he had thrown a party where you met a girl you haven’t see ever. The beginning of the relationship was unconventional so you couldn’t do anything else but suspect.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Epilogue

“It’s not fair” the voice from de other side of the phone was deep, he was slurring his words. I did recognize it, it was hard to forget it, but it was quite odd hearing him like that, so drunk that he couldn’t speak.

“Chris? It’s 3:00 am. I was sleeping.” I said sitting on the bed better.

“Oh yeah? How does that feel? You know what? I was doing it fine. I let you go; I was getting you out of my head. Why it's so fucking easy for you to get into it?” he sounded sad and mad at the same time.

“Chris, I’m sorry if what I told you hurt your feelings, it was mean, I know. I'm really sorry. Your personal life is not my business anymore.” He didn’t let me finish. He wasn’t interested in my apologies.

“I wanted everything of that with you. I wanted a wedding, I wanted to find a fucking house together, a big fucking house to have a big fucking family. I made up my mind to have kids, adopt two and maybe have one, because that was your dream family. And fuck! I wanted it so much, I wanted to be part of that fucking dream so much. I don't want it if you aren't in the equation. Why it's so hard to believe for you? Why don't you want everything of that just with me? It's not fucking fair, why are you still in my head? How can you be so collected?” his words brought me back to the time I told him my dream.

He was staying in my apartment after being away for a couple weeks, he couldn’t sleep because of the jetlag and I wasn’t tired either, he was happy for my sleeplessness, he hated being alone in somebody’s else house. We went to get a few donuts, one of the perks of living in NY was, no matter what time is it, you can always find some food.

I remembered we walked the entire night, just talking, enjoying each other’s company.

He told me about his family, about his relationships with his parents, with his siblings and he explained to the adoption’s process of his sister. I told him about my workmate who thought that adopting a child and having a baby was not the same, that he wouldn’t take care of a someone’s child. He was so absorbed in his donut that he responded without looking at me.

“Sorry, if he’s your friend, but he’s an idiot. Being a parent is about loving, taking care of and protecting a child, not a biological relation.” I saw him in a different way, in that moment I realized I loved him. He continued in his unawareness and asked me about my family, and my dream family.

I told him about what kind a family I wanted. I wanted to have a big one, a big house, a couple animals and a house in the woods. He laughed “I would never have said you were like that.”

“What? Why?” I tried to look offended, but it wasn’t the first time I got that. “I don’t know, you love living here, your tiny apartment and your demanding job.” he was right, I loved that, but I had always lived by my own, I was used to it. “My apartment it’s not tiny.”

“Honey, you don’t have a dog because of it.” He spoke. “It’s a standard-sized apartment in NY” I defended “That is just another statement in my favor” he laughed.

“Are you okay?” I asked coming back to the reality.

“I thought I was until I saw you. How can you be so happy? Why can you live without me when I’m not able…” he blurted out all his inside feelings, I knew him, I knew he wouldn’t tell me those things if he was sober or calm. He is so impulsive. I knew he was going to regret it later. “Chris…” I interrupted him but he didn’t stop. “Fuck, I miss you and I don’t want to.”

“I’m sorry” I said calmly. He didn’t respond. The line was alive, but he was in completely silence.  “Chris?” and I didn’t hear nothing else.

I put my phone back on my nightstand while the conversation came to my mind. I don’t usually come to L.A, but I was Linda’s birthday, and we came to celebrate it. The club was new and kind of exclusive, I shouldn’t have been so surprised of finding him there.

He was chatting with a girl; I couldn’t see her face, but I could see him. He was so close to her, caressing his arm and touching her face. I wasn’t sure if I was on his vison, but it hurt me a bit he didn’t notice me.

The night went fine, I tried to forget about him and enjoyed the rest of the night. At some point, I went out to smoke a cigarette, I wasn’t a smoker but sometimes it feels good.

“Can I have one?” he said, I recognized his voice, I could feel his presence. I turned around to face him. I handed him one cigarette, trying to look calm. “Thank you.” He said with a smile. We stared for a few minutes until he spoke. “You look gorgeous. Your hair in that way, it has always been my favorite.” I give him a little smile as a thank you. “You look...taken.” I said, I shouldn’t have, he was free to do what he wanted. I had to admit that it bothered me, I got jealous. He didn’t look bother, anyway. He shook his head with a shy smile. “Well, you’re wrong. I’m completely single.”

“Is she aware of that? It doesn’t work if one of both doesn’t know it.” I said, he didn’t look hurt or annoyed by my words. He looked cheerful. “Ouch! Low blow. She is, don’t worry.” He said, looking at me right into my eyes. He is so flirty with a few drinks. “We are just friends. I’m not very good at relationships.” He spoke.

“I wouldn’t say that you’re not very good at it, you just miss the monogamy part. I thought you were ready to settle down. I guess they’re right, talk is cheap.” I threw out my wasted cigarette and was ready to say goodbye, but his face changed. He looked mad then, he didn’t say anything, but I noticed his mood wasn’t the same. I went too far. He got inside the club before me, without a word.

In the morning, I checked my phone. He didn’t call me again, but he did send me text.

       “Sorry about last night, I shouldn’t have call you I was drunk and being an asshole. I`m so sorry. I won’t bother you again. Take care of yourself!”

After the day he left, we didn’t talk for three months. We didn’t have a tough conversation since then. He sent me flowers with a simple note for my birthday but nothing else.

“Hey girl! Why are you up so early?” Linda spoke, entering the room. “It’s 1 p.m.” I said joking. “Whatever! It’s my birth-weekend, if I said it’s early it is” she said with a big smile. “Why are you awake? We needed this, enjoy it and go back to bed.” she asked again.”

“I saw Chris last night” I said simply. “Where? At the club? I didn’t see him. Are you okay?” she got worry.

“Yes, at the club. And yes, I’m okay. We talked and I was being mean and kind of a bitch. He got mad and called me later. It was weird.” I responded.

“Why were you being mean? Did he tell you something?”

“He was with somebody. I don’t know, I got jealous.” It was hard for me to admit that I wasn’t like that I was completely against that but couldn’t help it.

“It’s normal, you were deeply in love with him.” He said before kissing me head.

We walked around the city and get lunch at a very nice and modern place. I didn’t think about him for the rest of the day.

“I know he lied and cheated but he is so fucking good looking.” Lucy commented suddenly. All of us got confuse until I turned around to see what she was staring at. A big billboard promoting his new film. Indeed, he was hot but in the picture he was breathtaking.

“Isn’t a shit that he is everywhere? I mean he is your ex.” Vanessa asked eating his meal.

“Yes. I guess.” I said simply. The topic of the conversation didn’t last long.

I didn’t realize he was everywhere until she mentioned it. The rest of the day he was in everything, Instagram, TV, even in the street.

I couldn’t take him out of my head.

“You are on every-fucking-where. Your face is all over this place.” I laughed, entering his house, he was filming something in L.A and I got a few days off to be with him. He was the face of a new fragrance so pictures of him were everywhere. For the first time in our relationship, I realized how famous he was. L.A was the place where I was with an actor and the rest of the world I was just with a guy. We were getting home from a night out. We were kind of drunk, not too much but in a very happy mood. “Oh! Shut up!” he said laughing. “Oh! Sorry sir, I don’t want to bother a such an important person. I will be a good girl.” I mocked, before I could do anything else, he took my face to his. “Will you?” he asked seductively, he kissed me deeply, holding my face firmly. His touches were always like that, comforting, protective and loving. I nodded smiling, unable to say anything with his mouth on mine. “Even L.A is a nice place when you are here.” He muttered against my cheek. His hands flew to my thighs to pick me up and take me to his room. Slowly, he took off my dress and helped me to get out of shoes. Just in my underwear, he smiled at me, and rubbed his gingers through my collarbones, the middle of my breast, my stomach and played with the band of my panties. “Haven’t you come out of my dreams?” he said. I moved my arms up to cover myself, laughing at his comment. “Alcohol makes you sappy.” I spoke. He took my hands to bring me closer to him “It makes me honest.” He kissed me and continued “Not even alcohol makes you speak. You’re such a cold heart chick, aren’t you?” he joked, I knew he was playing because he was smiling and kissing me but that wasn’t the first time, he insinuated something like that. “Chris…”

“I’m just joking, relax.” I let it go because I knew he was kind of right, I’m not a very affective person, or someone who loves to talk about love, but I was working on it.

At night we went to another club, it was a chill night, so we didn’t drink, we just talked and ate. When we wanted to go back to our rented house, we took a taxi but in the middle of ride I realized I left my jacket at the wardrobe’s club.

“Don’t worry! Get inside! I will be back in a couple minutes.” I said while the girls got out of the taxi.

I went back to the club, looking for my jacket. I asked the girl in charge of the wardrobe for it, she looked at me for a little bit too long. She handed my jacket and asked. “Sorry for question, but your face looks so familiar to me. Weren’t you Chris Evans’s girlfriend?” I got uncomfortable and she noticed. “I don’t want to bother you, it just I remember your face from where I used to work in. I worked in a restaurant in NY for a long time, and you and Chris used to go there, quite a lot.” She explained, I remembered her then, it was one of our favorite restaurants, and she was one of the waitresses. “Oh, yeah I remember you, Hi.” I spoke.

“We weren’t allowed to talk to our costumers there, I just wanted to tell you that you both make such a good couple, me and the other girls were in love with you guys.” She made me smile. We said goodbye and I left the place with him in my head.

“Okay, I’m ready. We can go.” I said to my driver, he was nice enough to wait for me to get my jacket. “Back to the house, right?” he asked turning on the engine. “No, can you take me here?” I asked, showing him the address on my phone.

I didn’t want to think about it twice. I wanted to see him.

As soon as we were near to his house, I realized I didn’t know where he was, he doesn’t come to LA until he has to. He was here yesterday but that was all I knew.

I got out of the taxi. “Do you want me to wait, or should I go?” the driver asked. For a few minutes I didn’t know what to do, and I saw the driver’s face was sightly impatient. “You can go, thank you.” I answered quickly, I wanted to see his face.

I rang the bell; I held my breath and I hoped he was there.

I waited for what I thought it was an eternity, but it was just two minutes.

I hear his voice on the intercom, and I blocked. “Who is it?” I couldn’t talk. I forgot how to speak. He waited not long before turning on the camera. I saw the red light and I knew he could see me. I didn’t say anything, and the sound of the door opening brought me back.

I walked to the house, and I just could see his silhouette because of the darkness.

“Are you trying to get even?” he joked, “Sorry to tell you, but you’re not as much intimidating as I can be, you can’t scare me”.

I didn’t respond, I kept walking in silence until I was at his door. Face to him. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?" he asked, suddenly worry about my state. I guess my expression was concerning.

“I’m sorry.” I just could say.

“Don’t worry, you can come whenever you want.” He spoke.

“I don’t mean that. I’m sorry…” I wanted to explain but he interrupted me.

“Hey! If this is about the call, don’t worry. I was being irrational, please! Just ignore it.” He looked shy.

“Can we talk?” I asked, I was feeling uncomfortable being outside. Before he could speak a woman’s laugh sound from inside the house, I realized he wasn’t alone. I blocked again. Him not being at home was an option, but I didn’t imagine that he could be with someone else.

“Oh! Shit! I should have called. I’m sorry,” I said, and I started to walk away. He looked confused for a few seconds before getting my arm. “Holy crap! No! Stop! It is not what you think! It’s Tara and Scott” he yelled.

I turned around and he continued “I had a few meetings here and they are spending the weekend here.” I felt the embarrassment going over my body. “We can go inside but they will be around. We can walk around the neighborhood, believe me it’ll be more private.” He suggested. I doubted for a second, but I nodded, he was right we’ll have more privacy.

“Okay! Wait a minute! I need my shoes.” He said before going back inside the house.

I started to regret, I wasn’t sure why I was there, what I wanted or anything. Before I could make any decision, he was back. He closed the door and started to walk by my side.  

We walked for a few minutes, in completely silence. Our appearance was kind of odd, he was wearing sweatpants, an unmatched hoodie, and a pair of sneakers. In another hand, I was wearing a midi black dress, my shoulders were free and my feet in super high heels.

“Aren’t you cold? It’s kind of chill, isn’t?” he asked, breaking the silence, and starting to unzip his hoodie.

“No, I’m fine.” I knew he was trying to start a conversation, but I just didn’t know what to do.

“Great.” he said awkwardly. The silence came back. We just walked around the houses, there wasn’t many, but they were big enough to get us tired.

“So, how have you been? I heard about your promotion, I know you were trying to get it.” he asked, he knows if I was nervous, he had to keep up with the conversation.

“I’ve been fine, and yeah I got so excited for the promotion. Linda threw a party.” I told him. “I know, I saw a few pictures on Instagram.” He said quickly. Letting me know he had been stalking me. I looked at him in the eyes and he got what I was thinking about. He wrinkled his eyebrow trying to think how get out of judgment. “Okay! I could say you were suggested by the logarithm but, whatever, I was just curious. I have the normal curiosity of an ex-boyfriend, of a non psycho ex-boyfriend.” He explained shyly. He made me laugh and that made him smile. I felt more relaxed then.

“I’m sorry for being so mean at the party.” I spoke. His smile vanished and he started to shake his head slowly. “it wasn’t my business…”

“Hey! No! it’s fine, I was being too sensitive. I know you were joking. Don’t think about it. My call was completely out of place.” He spoke.

“I wasn’t joking, I was having an attack of jealousy.” I told him the truth. I had had a few with being his girlfriend but I didn’t admit it so I was a big statement for me.  

“Well, you shouldn’t have…” I knew he was being nice enough not to make me feel even more humiliated. I interrupted him.

“I know, I know you’re free to…” I tried to explain but he spoke over me.

“You shouldn’t have because she is just a friend” he saw in my face a smirk that got him know what I was thinking about he used to have a lot of just-a-friend‘s friends. “A normal, regular, simple friend. We have been friends for years. Actually, I think you know her, she was Jessica, do you remember her?” I nodded, we used to go out with her when we were in L.A but we didn’t come very often. He didn’t like it and I was more than happy to be in N.Y.

“Great, can we pretend I didn’t say I was jealous? I feel ridiculous now.” I joked, he smiled at me and guided me to sit in a bench. “Now we’re even, you have my mortifying call, and I got your brutal honesty.” It was weird how I felt around him, after all that time, he could make me feel butterflies. I was still in love with him.

“I was being completely serious when I told you I was ready to settle down with you. You don’t understand how fucking different everything was with you, and when I realized how important you were to me, it was too late. I know I don’t have any right to be upset because I was the one who fucked everything up, but these past months I have been irrationally mad at you. I felt that you were taking my future with you away from me” he said laughing at himself. I was surprised by his words.

“I know, it’s a shitty though.” He continued when he saw my unbelieving face. “but these couple months have been awful, I haven’t felt like this before. I went to therapy and I realized that I’ve been sabotaging my relationships for a very long time. I didn’t think of it as a problem but then, I lost you and our relationship, and everything changed.” I kept quiet, astonished by his words.

“Chris…”

“No! Please, let me tell you something first. I’m sorry, for everything; for making you go through all of that, for not loving you how you deserve to be loved. I’m going to regret what I did for the rest of my life. I just want you to know that I truly loved you. Fuck! I’m still in love with you, I guess this kind of love doesn’t go away so easily.” He said, making my eyes get wet.

“Why didn’t tell me anything of this before?” It was everything I could say.

“Because you were right; what we had, wasn’t going in the right direction. You deserved better. And to be honest I was afraid to see you again, I wanted to leave you alone as you told me and even now, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to do that.” His speech left mute. I didn’t know why I came and now I wasn’t feeling any better.

I got up, and without a word I started to walk back to his house; I could feel his anxiety for my silence, but he didn’t say anything.

“It wasn’t all bad, was it?” I said in a try to cool off the situation.

“You were the best part of my life, honey. Of course, it wasn’t all bad!” he said uncomplainingly. That took every word off of my mouth.

After a big deep breathe I said, “I’m sorry for being so cold in our relationship.” He tried to stop me, but I didn’t let him. “I’m not very good at showing love, I know it hurt you in order of how you are, but I really tried to make it better.” I knew he hate that about me, not just avoiding the word -I love you- but I used to avoid expressing every feeling. I was a very lonely person so I didn’t know how to do it.

“I love every aspect of you, honey. You shouldn’t feel sorry for anything” he said. I knew he was right but I couldn’t help it.  

“I should leave, it’s getting too late. I’m sorry for bothering you.” I said, he looked confused, but he didn’t say anything. We walked back to his house silently.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked when we were getting close to his entry’s house. I nodded “Why you came? It’s not like I don’t love to see you or know about you, but it was unexpected. And I don’t believe you came to say sorry.” He commented.

I didn’t answer right away. I didn’t have a reason to come.

“I honestly don’t know.” I said after a couple minutes. ”I saw a billboard announcing your new film. I remembered you. I started to think about you, about us. I just felt the need to see you.” I explained. He nodded and opened the door. “Give me a second, I will give you a ride,” before I could say no, he was inside the house.

I waited for him, getting close to his car and I remembered the first time he brought me to this house, I just moved to NY at that time, and we weren’t anything more that friends. He was being so talkative during our way to this house, which it wasn’t odd, but something told me he was overexcited.  We spent literally every minute of the week together, he was a fun guy to be around, and the sex was explosive. The last night, he set up a romantic dinner in the garden and showed me what he was so excited about.

“What’s this?” I asked surprised, holding the little box he handed me.

“It’s a gift.” He said simply, smiling at me. “Come on! Open it.”

It was a pendant, the one we saw in London, when I was visiting him while he was filming. After our first date in the airport, we kept in touch by texting, when he had to fly back to London for work, he asked me to visit him. We went for a walk one day and we passed by an antique jewelry store. I realized it was similar to one pendant my mom used to wear, I didn’t know he was paying me attention.

“It’s beautiful!” I just could say.

“It is! Just like you.” I wasn’t sure what was the meaning of the gift, that weekend in London was months ago. He saw my expression and kept talking. “I knew this was going to make you happy. I want to make you happy. Just you.” He was asking for exclusivity, and I wanted the same thing. I couldn’t say anything because he spoke” You don’t need to say anything right now…” I kissed him deeply before he could continue. I straddled him “Should I assume you want the same thing?” he said between kisses. I nodded smiling while he moved us to the seat next to the outdoor fireplace. He rolled my skirt up in my waist, leaving my butt free just covered it by his hands. He felt my uncomfortableness and said, “Don’t worry, nobody can see us.”  I looked at him questioningly by his conviction. “I promised. Trust me.” he said kissing my neck. ”Do you trust me?” he asked again. I did, I trusted him, I’ve sent him nudes, told him my deepest secrets or my filthiest thoughts. “I do” I simply said.

Trusting him became our biggest issue, maybe our only one, but it was enough to break us.

I missed him.

In the car, he asked me where I was staying, and he drove us through L.A’s midnight.

“Are you seeing somebody?” he asked suddenly after I quite long conversation about my promotion and his new project. “You don’t have to answer. I’m sorry if it’s too nosy.”

“No.” I answered, and a little smile appeared on his face. “Are you happy about my loneliness?” I joked, he chuckled.

When arrived, I said goodbye and got out of the car. I didn’t hear him getting out too.

“Hey” he called. Holding me from my arm. “Is it too bold to ask you out?” he saw my surprising face and kept on “Maybe when you are back in NY, I could go and have a date.” He spoke rapidly.

“Do you think it’s a good idea?” I wasn’t sure about what to say, I wanted to yell yes, but leaving him was the most painful thing I’ve done. I couldn’t handle it again.

“I don’t know. To be honest I just really need you in my life again. I feel completely empty without you.” He spoke. “You don’t have to answer right now. Just think about it. Okay?” He said, I nodded, and he started to walk back to his car. Before he could leave me again, the words just came out of my mouth without any warning. “Yes”

He turned over to see me again “Are you sure?” he looked surprised. “Yes”

“I can wait.” He said with a big smile in his face. “I don’t think I can.”

TAG LIST: @breezykpop @calwitch @firoozehmoon @moonlacebeam @denisemarieangelina

[buffymilkovich]

KENNY AND NESS @lethargicmick

CHAPTER 19 MY BELOVED! Wow wow wow, thank you so much, I cannot help but gush about how heartwarming this was, I appreciate it so much. This story has been so great, I just get more and more excited each update! This fic is definitely on my permanent reread list along with TIPDIG and CG.

I also just want to say that I am obsessed with Ben and Aria, Mickey deserves good and loyal friends that are there for him through thick and thin. My top fics have always have original characters that are almost just as important to me as Ian and Mickey and this is no exception! Still crossing my fingers things will work out for NELKINS!

Any chance we can have a glimpse into the Owen Christmas? So Benny and Aria get to sleep in the same bed? What do they get each other for Christmas?

This update was so worth the wait, you both are extremely talented and hope you both feel really proud of this work! Thank you thank you thank you!

ANNA 🥰♥️🥺😭❤️‍🔥🕺😍🤕😪☹️☺️

thank you SO much for this message are you kidding!!! you are so freakin’ sweet and your support literally means the world! i am obsessed w u!!!!!!

likewise we are disgustingly obsessed with ben and aria. mickey deserves incredible people around him that hype him up - we all deserve a ben and aria!!

omfg okay ness and i had WAY too much fun talking about the owens’ christmas:

The Owens’ are kinda like the Weasley’s. Very warm and welcoming. Just with less kids.

His parents are Nancy and Thomas, and they’re still disgustingly in love after 39 years of marriage 🥺

Ben has two older sisters who fucking adore him. They LOVED dressing ben up to act in little plays with them in the living room when they were kids 😭

Everyone is obsessed with Aria and her accent. She fit right in from day dot.

Nancy puts out handmade stockings for everyone with their initials on it, and she made Mickey one for his first Christmas in NY 🥲 He got VERY emotional

They spend Christmas Eve in Manhattan doing fun, touristy stuff. The evening is spent carolling around the neighbourhood, and Ben secretly has an amazing voice and has a great time, before they eat takeout and chat and drink back at their house in Greenwich

Nancy gets everyone matching PJs that they all have to wear on Christmas morning. She gets a pair for Mickey, too, which Ben brings back with him

Christmas is very chill. It’s Home Alone in the morning, followed by presents around the tree, and a big ass lunch with every kind of meat, and afternoon naps, and making snowmen in the front yard, and leftovers for dinner, and board games in the evening that often turn very heated

After one too many eggnogs, the three kids put on a little play for old time’s sake, and Aria films it and sends it to Mickey and him and Ian laugh to the point of tears

Ben gets Aria a Buffy sweatshirt and tickets to the Olivia Rodrigo tour

Aria gets Ben a few video games and a custom blanket with his dog’s face on it. Their family dog died a few months earlier and Ben cries when he gets it

Aria and Ben’s sisters get high together after lunch and Ben grumbles that she loves them more than him and they all agree

Yes, Ben and Aria sleep in the same bed in Bed’s room!

thank you again anna, you are just the best!!!!! ♥️♥️

cc: @lethargicmick

[absolutelyfizzing]

No flirting

Sam Wilson x Bucky's relative!reader

Description: Out of timeline! Reader is Bucky's great niece (his sister's granddaughter) who he found when he got to NY. She is staying in the tower for a week or so to take a sort of vacation. While she is there, she meets a certain flying man of the south and she starts to fall for him, much to her uncle's dismay.

Warnings: fluff? Sort of old fashioned Bucky, maybe a little ooc sam? I tried but idk if it went okay. This is awful writing, it was late and I don’t know how to write dialogue!

Word count- about 3000

MASTERLIST

You pulled into the parking garage of the avenger tower with a smile on your face. It had been a couple weeks since you had seen your uncle, well your grand uncle, because he had been off on a mission with Steve and the Falcon. You'd never met Sam Wilson before, only hearing about him from Bucky and Steve, but you figured he had to be pretty great to be an avenger.

You got your bag out of the trunk after you parked and began to make your way to the elevator. You had a room that remained pretty empty when you weren't there. Because of your closeness with most of the team, it had been offered to you permanently. You declined in favor of having your own place in Brooklyn and just staying at the tower whenever you needed a break from work or your friends or something. You waited patiently for the elevator doors to open on the right floor excitedly, knowing FRIDAY probably alerted Bucky you were on you way up. Your suspicions were confirmed when you were tackled in a pile of super solider as Steve and Bucky hugged you tightly. Steve had become family as well to you, just as much as Bucky was. You loved them both very much but at the moment they were squeezing the life out of you.

"Excuse me, I am a non enhanced person." You gasped out "I need air please."

At this they let you go, dopey grins on their faces.

"How is my favorite niece?" Bucky asked with a smile on his face, knowing it bothered you a little bit. You saw him as more of a friend than an uncle so being reminded that he was related to you and also was 100 and something years old was a little exhausting.

"Oh shove off. I'm great but I'd love some help getting this to my room?" You hinted while lifting your large bag.

Steve didn't hesitate to pick it up, absolutely no sign of effort on his face as he did so which frustrated you to no end.

"Thank you Steve" you chirped as he smiled kindly back at you and the three of you began to make your way to the room you would be occupying for the next week.

"So how's your mom?" Bucky questioned genuinely.

"You mean your actual niece? She's good, struggling to enjoy retirement at the moment." You smiled at the mention of your mom.

"I would have thought she would be enjoying it. Teaching always seemed like an exhausting job to me." He mentioned.

You agreed but then remembered "Says you, you've been on the job for over 80 years."

He gave you a side glare and then grumbled, "Touché"

You had arrived at your room, it was just the same as the last time you saw it besides the sheets having been changed, the room vacuumed, and the bed made. You smiled lightly. Tony was as softhearted as they come.

Steve put your bag down and they looked at you waiting for you to do something.

"Well come on! I wanna go say hi to the team!" You gushed as you grabbed their hands and started hurrying towards the living room of the floor where you knew most of the team members would be found on any given day.

As you walked in you heard multiple squeals and you were hugged by two redheads. Natasha and Wanda both loved you as you were about their age and were a little less jarring than most of the men they spent the day with. "I missed you guys." You whispered to them as the hugged you, Bucky and Steve having moved off to the couch to chat while you caught up with everyone.

"You missed us?! We have so much to tell you! What has taken you so long to come back here?!" Wanda whined a little.

"Buck wasn't around for the last couple weeks, he was away!"

"So? We are here and you're welcome any time, you know that!" Nat scolded. You knew she was right but you didn't want to intrude.

"You could never intrude." Wanda responded and you glared that she read your mind. She gave an apologetic look but you knew it was mostly fake. You were then pulled away from them by a rather large hand, when you turned around you saw the blond god who you were so fond of.

"Lady Y/N! How great to see you! So glad I was here when you were visiting." He said merrily. You wrapped him in a hug, it was a rare occasion that he was actually here when you stopped by. Other than them there was only one other person in the room, someone you presumed to be Sam Wilson. He was smiling at you already, waiting his turn to introduce himself. When you pulled away from Thor he walked over and you took a moment to admire him. He was tall and strong looking but his eyes were gentle and he looked like he gave good hugs and made people laugh. He stuck his hand out to you.

"Y/N, right? I'm Sam." He smiled. You smiled right back and shook his hand.

"No no no, no flirting." Bucky called from the couch, glaring daggers at Sam in front of you, your hand still holding onto his as you both looked over.

"Buck I didn't even do anything!" You whined, slightly embarrassed as you blushed. Sam noticed and just smiled again but let go of your hand.

"So you’re the Bionic Man's niece, yeah?" You smiled and nodded.

"Great niece, technically. My grandma is his little sister." You smiled and Bucky groaned.

"God that makes me sound so old."

"That's cause you are old!" You countered and Bucky just grumbled under his breath something about how he could still kick it with the kids.

You made eye contact with Sam again but looked away shyly and moved toward the kitchen in the common area to get yourself a cup of water. The conversation around the room buzzed and the only person who wasn't occupied was Sam as he followed you over to the kitchen.

"A shame I haven't met you before, I’ve been missing out." He smirked. He seemed a little cocky but you didn't mind. In fact you found it kind of attractive as it complimented your shy personality pretty well.

"Well don't worry I've heard all about you, Bird-Man. My relative has a grudge." You smirked as you sipped your water.

Sam rolled his eyes, "Oh he's just grumpy cause I can beat him in a fight."

"That sounds about right. I can't imagine what else he could be holding against you."

"Pretty soon he's gonna be mad at me for trying to flirt with his niece but I don't think I care much." He smirked.

Your eyes widened but you couldn't hide the smile he gave you very well.

"Oh Sam, I think he would kill us both."

"A worthwhile death." He continued.

"You're gonna have to step up your game then cause from where I'm standing, I don't wanna piss of my uncle with a vibranium arm over just anything." You challenged, wanting to see if he was serious. He smirked at you.

"Challenge accepted." He said and then he didn't leave your side for the rest of the day. This was much to the frustration of Bucky but you were an adult and he had other things he had to do anyway so he left it be besides the constant glare at the man who always seemed to be beside you. He followed you around like a lost puppy as you said hello to the avengers you hadn't seen yet, including meeting Peter for the first time. By the end of the night he was already through your shell and you were conversing with him with no effort. You could feel that this was not going to go well later but you couldn't help yourself.

"You know I'll take you up in that flying lesson sometime, sounds like fun to me." You smiled at him and he beamed back.

"That's why I offered it, I'd love an excuse to spend some more time with you."

"You don't need an excuse, you know. You could just hang out with me." You blushed and he did a little bit too. Without another word you headed to the room he had just walked you to and opened the door.

As soon as you closed it you smiled giddily and slid down the door, you could see Wanda and Nat talking to each other before looking at you. You had planned to have a sleepover the first night you were back and they had been waiting for you for like a half hour.

"Spill!" They both shouted at the same time.

You grinned before telling them about how Sam was being so sweet to you and that you were starting to get feelings for him.

"But it's only been a day, why do I already feel like this?!" You complained

"Y/N, he's been all over you all day, I'm sure he's in the same boat!" Wanda pulled you up from your spot on the floor and brought you over to the couch in your room.

"Yeah he's been following you around with puppy dog eyes. And it's really starting to piss off bucky too, as if they need another thing to hate each other over." Nat sighed.

You felt doubt start to creep in, Bucky was your family and you didn't want to go against his wishes. But Sam was so sweet and arrogant at the same time and the thought of him made your heart pick up speed.

"I'm not gonna act on it yet. I don't wanna make Buck upset over nothing. I'll wait till the end of the week and if it's still a thing I might consider talking to Sam about maybe going on a date." You said, getting quieter and quieter with every word. Both girls yelled out their excitement and began planning your outfits and actions for the next week so you could "keep him interested" in you. You went to bed exhausted but ready to take on the week of figuring out if your chemistry with the superhero was real.

The next week was torturous. Sam was just as flirtatious as he had been the first day and he got bolder and bolder as the week went on. He had asked you out a number of times, each time you responded with some non answer to try to buy more time. Bucky was getting progressively more frustrated about the flirting between you two until day 5 of your stay.

You and Sam were watching a movie together, you told yourself it was just as friends. You were on opposite ends of a couch and you could feel yourself getting more and more tired. Eventually you fell asleep during the movie and Bucky happened to walk by as you did. Sam noticed you asleep and smiled at the sight before he wrapped you in a blanket. Bucky sighed quietly and made his way to the kitchen to get water, not having been noticed by Sam yet who was too occupied with you. As Sam lifted you off the couch and began to carry you to your room, Bucky found it harder and harder to believe that the mans intentions were anything but pure. And he had never seen you so smitten. He begrudgingly decided he would not stand in the way of you two and he might even have to convince you to ask Sam out if you kept up the shy act.

The next day you awoke in your room. Not knowing how you got there you looked around. You remembered falling asleep on the couch while you were watching something with Sam. There was a note on your nightstand so you reached over to pick it up, heart rate increasing as you read the note.

"Didn't want to wake you, I hoped you slept well

- Bird Man"

You smiled as you read the note and began to make your way out of bed. You noticed there were socks on your feet even though you were sure you hadn't put them on. You almost got lightheaded at the realization that Sam put socks on you feet last night before you went to bed so that you wouldn't get cold in the night. The thought made you blush at how domestic it was but you wanted to thank him. You made your way down the hallway, still in your pajamas pants and hoodie you'd worn last night and you knew your hair was a mess. Still when you got to the kitchen and made eye contact with sam, his eyes brightened a bit and a smile came across his face. 

"Thanks for getting me to my room last night." You blushed shyly. You could feel your heart going faster and faster as you looked down at your socks.

"I would happily do that every night if it meant I got to take you out on a date." He smiled, already expecting you to avoid the implication again. You smiled at him and then glanced over at Bucky who was already looking at you. He winked and nodded and you knew what he meant.

You made eye contact with Sam, "Tomorrow night at 7, you can take me to dinner." You said while looking into your mug of coffee you had just poured. You looked up at Sam to see his reaction as his face fell neutral before he grinned. He quickly corrected his face too look like he was less excited.

"I knew I'd get you to crack eventually" he pointed out. You rolled your eyes before turning to walk toward the couch.

"I can take it back" you began before he interrupted you.

"No no, no need to do that, I have a great place in mind for dinner." He quickly said and you just smiled up at him lightly. The rest of the day was spent daydreaming about your date tomorrow.

The next night you were getting ready for your date, you had a flattering dress on and had your makeup done up, just finishing before there was a knock on your door. You checked the time and sure enough it was 7:00 sharp.

You mentally prepared yourself and took a deep breath before opening the door to reveal a fidgety Sam Wilson. The sight made you laugh a bit as he had never looked so nervous. It made you feel a bit better that he was nervous too. You took a moment to look each other over. Sam's eyes drifted south until he reached your legs and then back up to your lips. His eyes stayed there for a second before moving back up to your eyes. You had just finished gazing over his built frame that was squeezed perfectly into his suit. You nearly swooned. He had a bouquet of your favorite flowers ready which you shyly took and put into a vase in your room, thanking him quietly. There was a single moment of nerves before you broke the silence.

"You look very handsome." You smiled as you made eye contact with him, your hands fidgeting.

"I can't even believe I managed to get a date with a girl as pretty as you." Sam smirked before offering his elbow to you, which you promptly took. When you reached the elevator you both saw Bucky standing there with his arms crossed.

"Have her back by 10:30. No funny business." He glared at Sam before looking at you. "Have fun sweetheart, you know how to throw a punch if you need to." He smiled at you as Sam gulped. You gave Bucky a peck on the cheek before you and Sam both entered the elevator and it was on it's way down.

You ended up having dinner at Sam's favorite southern food restaurant in the city. More specifically, Louisiana barbecue. You loved the food and you didn't even feel pressure to eat pretty as you and Sam were having such a good time. You both were wildly overdressed but that was part of the fun. He payed for dinner and you promised to get the next one which had him smiling like a fool cause it meant you would go on another date with him.

After dinner he took you out to a dancing bar, but it wasn't fast paced or gross like many seemed to be in the city. Instead they played slower songs and it was less loud. You were grinning ear to ear as you slowly danced together, pressed together as close as you could be. At about 10:00 you began to head back to the tower. You decided to walk there because you didn't want to get home too fast and it was such a nice night out. You had never felt safer than with Sam at your side either.

When you made it back up you the residential floor of the tower, you saw Bucky sitting in the common space with a glare on. He made eye contact with you and when you smiled at him he winked and made his way to bed, not missing a chance to glower at Sam on his way by. You could feel Sam growing nervous next to you as he walked you back to your room. You turned around to face him and his hands were fidgeting. You took a deep breath to gather your courage before leaning up to him and kissing him deeply. He responded immediately and wrapped one of his hands around the back of your neck. You kissed until you had to come away to breathe and you both made eye contact. He smiled at the event that just happened and he took your hand in his before kissing it.

"I think that was the best date I've ever been on." He smiled.

"Well you're gonna have to top it next time." You smirked. He looked back at you and had a faraway look in his eyes. You said your goodbyes and you went to bed with cheeks that hurt from smiling so much.

He did indeed top it next time, and every date after that.

[petalsmooth]

Ok.

Let’s talk Lili.

First off we only know what stars put out about themselves or other people say about them. We are not friends with these people. We are not in their homes. We don’t usually hear what they say in unguarded conversation. What we know is what is out on social media with some highly distorted soundbites from chats or DM’s with her mother that were exposed.

We were initially presented a portrait pushed by her and her family no less of a middle class family with the standard girl next door hit it big narrative. Down to earth, relatable, somewhat quirky. Strong two parent supportive household. All that was missing were the apron and pearls.

This girl came out of the gates talking about a modernized Riverdale with two girls who would be actually close and not vying for the same redhead. Feel free to add/or correct along the way of course...especially early on when not following as closely.

We got very little in the way of insight into Cole and Lili because they were trying to keep it quiet even if there were hints together. Mostly during this period what fans were fed was that she was slightly awkward socially, maybe not the most intellectual but nice and harmless. She spoke of empowering women, independence, she constantly shut down the idea of Barchie and praised Bughead. Along through the year’s she would speak to social bullying or bullying in general. She would openly talk about struggles with mental health. She’d talk and show her cystic acne and share photos not all airbrushed in ode to body positivity. She’d talk about not having an hourglass figure, and cellulite and often go out in ratty shorts and a bun sans makeup. You see she’d talk about it then follow through by showing lived the walk or calling out photoshops done of her.

Again this is “relatable girl next door quirky Lili” we told was the REAL Lili.

She would frequently talk and post about her family and dogs at home and how much she loved and missed them...though oddly not so much her older sister.

At a certain point it became undeniable Cole and Lili were together to even the hardest deniers. Of course also the Met gala eventually made official for media.

We get have her liking posts such as Miley’s about how lucky she was to have a man who checked off all the boxes. But at times there were glimpses all wasn’t kosher. People have mentioned various cons where she’d be caught flirting somewhere else, or she’d be in a bad mood giving Cole a cold shoulder. We recently saw an old video of them walking and her basically demanding he drop the fans and attend her. We have the con were Camilla is sexually harassing Cole everywhere and Lili doesn’t shut it down until Camilla tries to grind on him. It was so bad even Mads intervened. We have the interview where she is talking over him or rolling her eyes and basically being the unprofessional brat her fans claim she is not. Even though it’s ON CAMERA. Snapping at your co worker/boyfriend and rolling your eyes during a professional interview is not deniable.

Flashforward to the trip to Italy because for me there was always something off about that. That trip was obviously planned far in advance. Clearly Lili was supposed to be there. Her fans quickly blamed Cole because Lili was working. Lili didn’t have to work. It wasn’t a career changing move to do that film. It did not do well. I’m not entirely sure what was happening around that time but I have the sense Cole was disappointed/a  little angry she prioritized it over him accepting very likely the offer AFTER the trip was planned.

Lili spirals during this time. Cole comes back to clean up mess. They are quiet on social media for a long time then slowly emerge again and eventually get the photo booth shots, the wedding and her mingling with NY friends for once. Turns out close to the end for them.

I don’t want to make this a Sprousehart post though although some relevance to bring part of it up. The point is Lili put her career over her relationship. It was a calculated decision. It was also the wrong decision. Her fans talk about her being this warm giving person but that was a cynical call and a pretty lousy thing to do to your boyfriend of several year’s. I’m all for supportive partners but there are time’s where you make sacrifices if you really care for someone and this was a special trip planned long in advance. She blew it off. If I’m the partner she does this too, I question why I’m putting in the effort if it doesn’t mean to them what it means to me. 

TBH I think the bad choices she made there is why tried to make it up by meeting with his friends, the wedding etc...

Something than clearly happened because by January they were done. Not sure we’ll ever know but it looked like they were trying to fix things given the happiness hadn’t seen on Cole’s faces in a long time in those booth pics and then...it was done. We didn’t know at the time, but this is timeline Cole gave. There was a brief attempt at reconciliation where she babysits him at a photo shoot and posts a photo of them in bed and then shortly after...Cole calls it off. 

He heads to LA, she follows him there but not without making sure to shove Casey’s face into her chest to post and rent a place close to where he is staying. She posts weepy messages about the world ending etc....and weird new photos mimicking old shoots with him so naturally people think this means whatever happened they worked through. Around same time she and hers manipulated her fans to try to cancel him earlier because she misunderstood a picture of Kaia....although flat out if he had been with Kaia he was SINGLE and it was no longer her business.

She tries to walk back the firestorm she unleashed on him by “defending” him from a lesser twitter trend after realizing misconstrued the Kaia picture, All summer she weirdly seems to be trying to avoid the topic if they are together or not despite saying once if they weren’t she’d tell people. She finally puts her foot in her mouth one two many times' and Cole confirms they broke up which she doesn’t acknowledge. Because she doesn’t want to be broken up.

As we know know it wasn’t all rainbows on the set even before all this happened as in the musical she’d launched an object at him hard enough to have the crew concerned. Lili fans keep saying Cole is abusive but the only evidence we have of abuse is her towards him. We also had her suddenly doing a 180 from past 4 year’s and excusing cheating with Archie and promoting everyone in her live recaps except Cole/Jughead.

Back to the events following Cole’s post....then we get a sudden string of interviews taking shots at Cole, doxxing him, implying he could have strayed (just to resurrect hate against him) but can’t say he actually did because she has no proof. We know this because in those chats admit it was just suspicion and paranoia and never did have any names.

We learn that Lili has been funneling news and gossip and photos to keep her mother’s hold on the fandom in check and her mother in turn has been bullying people who would stand on Cole’s side. They sought to ruin him. This is not debatable.

For year’s people had made fun and called Bree out for being an obsessive stalker unable to let a relationship go, then Lili starts doing the same. We know she has tried to copy Ari’s style, her mother made a snide comment about breast size, Lili tried to taunt Ari from on set and Ari shut her down. A girl who almost never was in the line of sight of paps suddenly is snapped everyday following break up even before the public new. That doesn’t just happen. She wanted the attention.

I’m not going to go into all of it, you all know it. Suffice to say revealing she has a bitter vindictive attitude she has submersed herself in ever since Cole made it clear no reunion. She won’t even broach the topic of Bughead/Jughead unless forced. You can spin all you like but the split screens was not an artistic choice by RD. It was spurred by need to keep them apart.

Lili last summer was doing precious little other than a post or two of Black Lives matter and then when Cole gets arrested suddenly she jumps on the me too and sets up impulsive lives. Maybe she meant well but a part of me thinks she did it to attract his attention. Notice once she got praise for it and the initial protests faded she more or less doesn’t bring it up anymore. Cole never intended to get attention, it just happened because he’s a star and got taken in to a jail cell. He never put himself on camera for notice. 

Lili also co-opts the murder of a girl to flaunt she thinks she looks good naked. Completely tone deaf. 

Lili very rarely is seen in fan photos, only usually when she’s getting flack for it online. She, a girl who talks about bullying, went on a  midnight tirade against a guy who dares to critique or poetry setting her fans on him. Then deleted it probably because publicist in her ear.

She first said poems not about Cole, than said you could read into what you wanted to sell them. Now she doesn’t want to talk poetry or sequels because it flopped and was critically panned.

There are constant rumors about Lili on sets of productions to point they even had someone on her newer movie try to downplay. Yet we see in a video the cast barely talking and looking tense on a boat. 

The girl who used to talk about body positivity now lets them airbrush abs onto her.

The girl who used to talk of therapy and mental illness now promotes OTC supplements for $ and cults.

If she mentions cellulite she uses other tik toks of people showing not her own. 

She said she would never be on tik tok, yet now has her own and post old videos that aren’t funny.

Lili once tired to attack Cole by talking about losing yourself in drugs or alcohol or sex yet we’ve seen her drug paraphernalia because she advertises. Her friends post and laugh over her being drunk. She was in an off and on relationship with Wallis that doesn’t seem to be about anything but sex.

We were told Coles friends are bad influences but Taylor is out there solicitating questionable clients and making videos slamming LILI’S COWORKER as a bad actor and his brother,

The majority of Lili’s posts no longer feature Sunny or her family/Addy. 

She insulted Vancouver, compared to a prison, and made it clear her creature comforts were of more importance than a pandemic. Not quite the attitude of an empath. Which she claims she is with intention to be a master which require sucking more gullible people into the cult.

She brags about being a “rich man” without understand the context. She went from artistic photos to modeling pinups to fuel her lack of self esteem.

She’s in her mid 20′s, claims she had grown and matured in the last year but there is no evidence of it. Still can’t work with her ex without buffers which still influences show direction though her fans deny.. Still lives off junk food and hangovers. Those glasses aren’t just for sun. Her timeline is mostly an ode to her vanity with pictures of herself and then her dog. She doesn’t seem to have any causes she’s deeply involved in on the side apart from her cult. She’s still stalking Cole as her impulsive makeup tutorial showed. She said she cut out of her life anyone who doesn’t service her. I highly doubt she is receiving quality therapy on the regular right now. She still does not seem to possess the ability to own her mistakes and apologize when warranted, rather deflects or erases when heat becomes too hot.

The content she puts out about herself post break up is very different than the bill of goods fans were sold before. She is a far cry from that quirky girl next door that stood FOR something more than vanity and shallow affirmation. So no, I don’t see what you see in her stans. Everything that once seemed to distinguish her from other spoilt princesses has long faded. 

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Manhattan Sunsets

Pairing: Arvin Russel x Fem!Reader

Summary: Arvin gets stationed in Brooklyn after a tour in Vietnam but had never really gone into the city before. When he does, he meets Y/N, who makes it a point to get this small town boy to see the city. (Requested by @euphoriaoxygen​)

Warnings: Brief mentions of PTSD from the war

Word Count: 3950

A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out. I killed my computer, had to buy a new one, and then I had to catch up on school but I’m hoping to get more fics out. 

________________________________

When Arvin left Knockemstiff, he had no idea what he was planning to do with his life. What could he do? He murdered four people. The idea alone left him feeling sick to his stomach but he knew that at the end of the day, that was exactly what had happened. It wasn’t that he regretted any of it. Preston Teagarden had to pay for his role in Lenora’s suicide and the harm of who knows how many other girls. Carl, Sandy, and Sheriff Lee were all going to kill him first. He knew at least the last three were self-defense, but what did the police think? 

A few weeks had gone by since he left Knockemstiff, traveling to Cincinnati with that nice fella that had given him a ride. Those weeks had given him time to really sit and think about his future. That was when he realized that he didn’t really have plans. His entire life, he told himself he’d get out of Coal Creek eventually. The last thing he wanted to do was die in that little God forsaken town but, beyond that, he didn’t really know. He honestly figured that his life would begin whenever his grandmother and Uncle Earskell passed away so they didn’t need him to care for them anymore. That was all out of the cards now, though, knowing that he’d endanger them just by going back. 

On Tuesday of the third week, he found himself at a recruiter’s office in Fort Thomas, Kentucky, enlisting for the army. If he was being honest with himself, even as he signed the papers, he knew he didn’t want to go overseas. The Vietnam War was one that practically nobody supported, including Arvin. He never understood why the U.S. felt the need to be involved in a battle that had literally nothing to do with us but the army came with a bed to sleep in, food to eat, a paycheck, and some benefits after (if) you got out. All of those were things that Arvin desperately needed. 

Basic training was a breeze. He’d been hardened by years of manual labor, both around his grandmother’s farm and doing construction around town. The other men had initially poked fun at him for his accent and his seemingly smaller stature compared to some of the 6’0”+ giants. That all stopped though the first time they saw him shed his shirt, revealing a rippling six pack of abs beneath taught skin and arms that had definitely seen more work than half of these bigger men. 

After basic training, he found himself stationed at Fort Hamilton Army Base in Brooklyn, NY. The army life was pretty close to what he’d imagined: rigorous, demanding, exhausting. Shortly after “settling in” at Fort Hamilton (if you can call being there for two weeks “settling in”), he was deployed across seas to fight in the battle of Ia Drang Valley before returning shortly after. 

It was a Saturday morning and Arvin found himself picking through his food like he did every morning. With a heavy sigh, he set down his meal pack. 

“You alright?” Willard Kast, one of his friends that had survived Ia Drang with him, asked from across the table. 

Arvin began to nod but it turned more into a head shake, “Ya ever just feel like everythin’s the same?” 

Kast laughed, “Well, yeah,” He said as if it was obvious, “They don’t exactly have us here to have fun.” 

“Yeah, but I… I don’t know. Guess I just sorta feel like my life is going on around me but I’m not goin’ with it.” Arvin was never known to be the person who actually spoke about his feelings. For some reason though, this war had just brought out a sudden mortality crisis of sorts. Every time he thought back to those memories of everyone he’d lost, whether it be his mother, father, dog, sister, or war buddies, the dead, blank eyes that stared back at him only seemed to be ghosts of lives still unlived. He didn’t want to be haunted by those same spirits. 

Kast smacked Arvin’s arm and beckoned for him to stand up, “Alright, you, up. Now. You’re getting off base today.” 

“I don’t even know where I’d go if I left.” Arvin huffed, standing up. 

“That’s the fun of it. Just go! Get out of this God forsaken place. See what you find.” Kast had always been oddly upbeat, especially compared to all the people Arvin had ever known growing up. Maybe it was the fact that anything Arvin had ever done felt like an accumulation of negativity so that it felt like there was no “fun in it” as Kast would put it. His friend noticed his hesitation before adding, “You do know what fun is, right?” 

Arvin chuckled a little bit, “Honestly, I don’t know if I do.” 

Within the hour, Arvin found himself dressed in civilian clothes for the first time in a while, a plain white t-shirt with blue jeans and some old, beat-up, black converse with his denim jacket slung over his shoulders. It was getting into autumn now and, though the sun still shone, there was a chill in the breeze. 

Once he stepped off base, he started on his aimless wandering down the streets. Arvin looked up in awe at the tenements and office buildings, sometimes built over restaurants or drug stores. Even though he'd been stationed in Brooklyn for a little while now, he'd never actually taken the time to explore the city. This small town boy was almost overwhelmed. 

Horns of vehicles beeped occasionally and trains roared overhead on raised tracks. On many streets, kids played with balls or some version of baseball with a busted off plank of wood instead of a real bat. Some others were running around just playing tag. A small smile upturned the corner of his lips as he watched them laugh out of the corner of his eye. He wished he'd had something like this growing up. Friends.  

Off to his left, a drug store caught his eye and he dipped in to grab a pack of cigarettes. They didn’t have anything fancy, not that he needed anything that was. Just a pack of the most mediocre selection they had was what he’d left with, lighting one up as he continued his stroll down the street. 

He kept his baseball cap down low, trying to blend in with the rest of the passerby. Arvin had never been one for calling attention to himself. Even in a new place, like Brooklyn, he figured passing through unnoticed would be the best way to go. 

“Mother fu- Just work!” 

Arvin hadn’t had his curiosity piqued by much on this stroll through the city but the disgruntled groans of a girl definitely drew his attention. He slowed his walk just slightly and looked around for the root of the complaints. There was a group of kids playing jacks to his right on the steps leading into a tenement but it was clear that they weren’t the angry woman in question. 

Just ahead, to his left, a car was pulled off to the side of the street and you popped up from the front right side of your car, an annoyed look on your face. You pressed against the car and leaned back, stretching your back out for a moment, before kicking what he assumed to be the tire with a frustrated outcry. 

“Okay, okay…” You breathed, trying to calm down, an almost hysterically frustrated smile on your face, like when you’re so mad that you have no choice but to laugh because, if you don’t, you’re going to punch a wall. Again, you disappeared, crouching back down. Arvin couldn’t see what you were doing but judging by the dragging of metal, he assumed you were trying to fix a tire. 

Arvin approached the back of your car to see you knelt down, the knees of your flare jeans rubbed black from the pavement. You were leaning with all your might onto a bar that curved and hooked onto the bolts on your very flat tire. However, he was impressed to see the jack placed properly and already up in the right position- not that it was a woman thing…. He’d just seen plenty of idiots place the jack in the wrong place. 

“Sorry to bother but you look like you could use a hand.” Arvin offered politely, stepping closer. 

You turned to look at him with a start, not expecting anyone to speak. Arvin couldn’t help the small smile that crept on his face when he noticed the smear of grease across your cheek. Hair stuck up astray in a few places from you brushing it back and out of your face. 

It had always been a goal of yours to not need a man. You’d seen plenty of women in your life dependent on their husbands, daddies, and brothers to do everything for them and then seen them lose everything when they realized all they could do was cook and clean. Not to discredit cooking and cleaning as valuable life skills, because they absolutely were, but you were not going to be some damsel in distress whenever you needed an oil change or got a flat tire. 

But, as much as you hated to admit it, these bolts were giving you a run for your money. After having been at this for nearly twenty minutes to no avail, you sighed in defeat, “I mean, if you wouldn’t mind giving it a try, that would be real nice. I’ve been working at it for nearly twenty minutes and nothing.” 

“Here,” Arvin reached his hand out for the pull bar and you stepped aside to allow him room. He notched the socket over the bolt and pushed, trying to crack the bolt. You definitely weren’t exaggerating. Whoever put this on had done a number tightening it. Arvin tried again, leaning into the bar. The denim of his jacket tightened around his flexing muscles as he did so until, finally, it cracked loose and the bolt gave way, twisting. 

With a wipe of your hand across your face, you sighed. It took all your might to (unsuccessfully) not imagine the way this man’s muscles must have been bulging beneath his jacket as he cranked the bar. 

Once it cracked loose, it was easy work to get the bolt off. By the time Arvin had arrived, you’d already managed to get all but two bolts off so he continued to work on the last one without you asking. 

“Oh- I can get that!” You interjected, leaning down to go to grab the bar back. 

Arvin stood up and shook his head, “No, no, it’s no problem. I’m glad to help.” 

When he returned to turning the bolts, you took a step back, brow cocked and arms crossed, “You’re not from around here, are you?” 

The bolt clanged to the ground with a metal clink and Arvin knelt down to shimmy the tire off, “Is it that obvious?” He chuckled, looking up at you as he rolled it to the side. You’d already had the spare ready to go right beside the old one and he grabbed it, wiggling it into place. 

You chuckled, “People don’t really go out of their way to help strangers here. And I like the accent. It’s cute. You from Tennessee or something?” 

Arvin froze up. Should he tell you? What were the chances of you knowing anything relating to the issues of his past? “Ohio.” 

“I didn’t know you guys had accents back there.” You leaned against the side of the car, watching him work on the tire for you. 

He tightened up the bolts all within the tire, “Depends on where you live, I guess.” Arvin pressed himself up, wiping his hands on his jeans as he did, “There ya go. You should be all set.” 

You stood up straight and ran your hands on your striped brown, black, and white turtleneck, your face contorting in annoyance when you realized you smeared grease on your favorite sweater. Arvin smirked a little when he noticed the action. 

You were pretty cute. Arvin felt a little confused. Girls back in Coal Creek had never really caught his eye. They were all so similar, just slight variations of each other. There were the hyper-religious good girls but they all reminded him too much of his sister. Either that or they were the girls who hung out with boys like Gene Dinwoodie and that was just a whole crowd that Arvin had no intention of associated with. 

“You really didn’t have to do all that… but thank you for the help.” Your hands rubbed together, the faint black debris marking your fingers. “I have a few bucks. Let me buy you a coffee or something as a thank you?” 

“Oh, no, you don’t have to do that.” Arvin readjusted his hat on his head. 

“Please, I insist. You just changed my tire.” You pressed, tucking your hand into your back pocket and crossing your ankles as you leaned against the car. Arvin stood a little closer to you, still a polite distance away, but there was a way he looked down at you that just made butterflies go through your stomach. 

Maybe this was what Kast meant. Maybe this was some of that life he should be living, that adventure he should be having. “Alright. But I don’t really know where anything is around here so….” 

“Don’t worry, I got you.” You smiled, “I know a place a few blocks away if you’re up for it? They have some pretty good pie too. Oh, and I’m Y/N by the way.” 

Nerves bubbled in Arvin’s stomach but something made him nod his head, almost against his will, “Arvin,” He nodded a small greeting, “And, yeah, that sounds nice.” 

With a smile, you tapped on the hood of your car and nodded your head over to the passenger side, “It’s not too far but it’s kind of cold. I’d rather drive personally but we can walk if you’re more comfortable with that.” 

The offer took Arvin back to his time hitchhiking his way out of Coal Creek and Knockemstiff. There had been a few bad experiences with handsy truckers and women who’d picked him up but they didn’t erase the memory of his first pick-up with Carl and Sandy. We all know how that ended… 

But he’d made it out of all of those situations, even if just barely, and he honestly didn’t feel uneasy around you. There was an endearing, hardworking, down-to-earth yet friendly energy you gave off that managed to put Arvin at ease. Before he knew it, he was sitting in the front seat of your car as you sped off down the road. 

The day had passed quickly with you and before Arvin knew it, it was already almost sunset. Coffee and pie had turned into a two hour long stay with the two of you talking about life which had in turn turned into a stroll through the city. 

He’d told you about how he had some family issues growing up and left his hometown to join the army. Your exact response was, “I’d say thank you for your service but I don’t exactly support the war if I’m being honest.” 

Arvin sipped his coffee and raised his eyebrows exasperatedly, “Neither do I.”

You told him about how you had been born and raised in Brooklyn, working at a local record shop to save up for a place of your own. You told him all about your career goals and how you wanted to find somewhere you felt like you really belonged. Brooklyn was your home, it always would be, but you felt like there was something else out there for you. 

Talking to you was easy- easier than anyone since Arvin’s mother. He couldn’t explain it but the quiet, secretive boy found himself at ease with you, not only willing to but wanting to open up to you. Maybe it was the adorable way you made it a point to smell your coffee before you drank it, taking in the comforting, rich scent, or maybe it was residue of grease still on your shirt. Arvin couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but he was attracted to you in a way he hadn’t been attracted to anyone in his entire life. 

“Hey,” You perked up, “You said you’ve never really left base, right?” 

Arvin nodded, self-conscious about his lack of adventurous spirit, as Kast would put it, “Unfortunately.” 

“You need to do all the stupid tourist things in New York.” You hit the countertop excitedly, as if the grandest idea anyone had ever had had occurred o you. 

Arvin’s face scrunched up and he shook his head, looking away, “Nah, that ain’t really my thing.” 

“C’mon,” You pressed, holding onto his forearm enthusiastically, “I’m not saying you gotta go stand around and get mugged in Time Square or anything but I think you should experience the city while you’re out here!” 

Sightseeing had never interested Arvin. Hell, he never really even thought he’d make it out of Coal Creek, if he was being honest with himself. Even if he did, he just expected to end up in some other shit hole town that was the same with different people. He never really put much thought into what he wanted to do. His mind had just been so consumed with what he needed to do. 

Arvin swivelled in his chair to face you, “Well what would you suggest that a newcomer go see here?” 

It didn’t take you long at all to think up an idea, “Can you stay out till sunset?” 

_____ 

Manhattan was definitely a different feel from Brooklyn. Arvin felt almost anxious here with all the cars and people and whatnot. He thought the army base was crowded but that was nothing compared to the bustle of the heart of New York City. Skyscrapers dwarfed neighboring buildings, casting shadows that somehow made Arvin feel miniscule in comparison. 

“Here we are!” You exclaimed excitedly, disappearing through the revolving door of a classy looking building. Arvin followed you inside, meeting with you in the large main room. There was a window with a man behind it that you approached, “Two tickets to the top please.” You dug into your small white purse and pulled out a few bills and handed them to the man in exchange for tickets. 

“Wait, what’re you buyin’?” Arvin stepped over to you, about to interject the transaction. The last thing he wanted was you spending more money on him.  

“Tickets.” You said as if it were obvious.

“To what?” He asked, confused. 

You turned around, two tickets in hand, with a smile, “Do you not know where we are yet?” Arvin slowly shook his head, wondering why he was supposed to. “We’re at the Empire State Building!” 

Arvin had heard of the building, even seen pictures of it in a history book one time, but he really didn’t know much about it. Big cities had never been his interest but seeing the way your eyes lit up with excitement to show him made all reservations melt. 

The elevator ride up was nerve wracking to say the least. It wasn’t severe but Arvin had developed minor PTSD from the war. He’d seen many men get killed or trapped, dragged away and unable to escape. This metal death box traveling up hundreds of stories made him feel trapped. He hadn’t noticed that he started rocking back and forth on his heels, gripping his own biceps, until you put a gentle hand on his arm, “You okay?” 

With a shaky breath, Arvin nodded and put on a smile, “Yeah. Elevators just make me kinda nervous.” 

The elevator stopped at one level but you dragged him up several flights of stairs to get to the very top where you could stand on the balcony. 

It was fairly busy but not unenjoyably so. “Okay, come over here!” Yet again, Arvin found himself being led by you to the very edge, leaning on the high railing. “What do you think?” 

It was breathtaking, beyond anything Arvin had ever seen. The sun was now setting, casting a warm orange-pink hugh on the city. The buildings and streets were illuminated with tiny lights, creating a sea of little flickering stars. In the far distance, the ocean stretched on for miles. Even the sky was beginning to try and match the city, though the few stars that were beginning to peek through the sunset were nearly drowned out by the light of the city. 

“It’s amazin’.” Arvin sighed out, almost overwhelmed. So this was the world outside of Coal Creek?

“Isn’t it something?” Arvin glanced down to see you looking down at the city with such adoration. A warm, orange glow cast across your face, accenting every beautiful feature. But then you turned to face him and he nearly stopped breathing. He knew from the first moment he met you that you were an attractive woman but you looked absolutely radiant now. 

Tension began to rise when you realized how close you were to the man. Your hips were almost touching as you stood side by side. Your hands were mere centimeters apart on the safety railing. 

Arvin could have gotten lost in your eyes but you tore your gaze away, returning it to the city. Instead, you slowly inched your hand towards his until your fingers touched his, testing the waters. He tensed up, looking down to see your fingers nudging his. He glanced back over at you to see your eyes flick questioningly to his. 

Arvin closed the gap between you, intertwining his fingers with yours. Your heart fluttered out of your chest when you felt him pull you ever so slightly closer to him. Your head rested on his shoulder and your free hand came up to grab his arm. 

“Y’know, if changing strangers’ tires is gonna turn out like this, I’m gonna have to start doin’ it more often.” He teased but his voice sounded sincere. Of all the possibilities that today had, this was not one that he had imagined when he left base this morning. Holding onto a beautiful girl at the top of the Empire State Building seemed like something out of a movie, not something that happened to real people. 

The sun fully set and the stars came out, rivaling the city lights in a display of firework-like sparkles. The full moon acted almost as a spot light in the dark sky, drawing your attention. Arvin had no idea how long the two of you had been standing there but he felt like he could stand there for forever. 

Eventually, you shifted against his side and your voice popped up, soft and quiet, “Hey, Arvin?” 

“Hm?” 

“Maybe we can see each other again?” You twisted in his grasp, which had now traveled to be around your shoulders. Now you looked straight up at him, faces only a small distance apart. 

The corners of Arvin’s lips turned up, “I’d like that.” 

Your arms were wrapped around his torso and his arms were encasing your body, resting on your upper back. Arvin’s eyes flicked from your lips to your eyes and back down again, as if asking for permission before going in. Both of you slowly inched towards each other before your lips touched in the middle. His lips were surprisingly soft and gentle against yours in the sweet, slow kiss. 

When you pulled away, neither of you opened your eyes for a few moments, just resting your foreheads against each other. “Call me a fool for falling for a girl I just met but I think I like you.” Arvin admitted with a satisfied smile, pulling you closer to him. 

[coralsgrimes]

Hi! Just curious, what was the deal with meganne young? Were they together?

I’m like Bennys Tumblr Encyclopedia LOL so lets just put all them girls out at once, shall we?

(yesss, there were some more famous names involved pre2016 but that is history for sure and most of the gossip from back then is mostly he is gay and they are hags)

The almost complete timeline, a dossier of the fuckups ye may say...

Mid 2016 - 2017; the 22 yo model in NY. They went to see Hamilton together, she posted some pics hinting at them, one of her friends posted that they had a lovely brunch date. Different friend of hers posted a whole fucking video of a karaoke night where Benny Boy was singing Champagne Supernova. I said I liked the times but still those were the Chris D'Elia times, being fuckboy times… ALSO absolutely hilarious, one of Ben's SAB co-stars liked a couple of said model photos earlier this year. Small world ain't it?

2017 - 2018; another NY model but way less proof, might never actually happened but apparently there were pics of her sitting on his lap (like the baby she was) and another one of hers wearing Punisher crew t-shirt.

Also at the same time Meganne was part of his LA friends group it seemed? She was clingy as fuck in public which we know Benny Boy does not like at all, his private friends cannot interact with him on social media. Some say they were never a thing, other than they were but she was pushing to go public too hard so he dropped her. She posted a pic of them in April 2017 and that's when they seemingly were together. She also posted a late pic for his birthday in 2018 but they were most probably over by then. He never liked any of the posts despite being tagged/mentioned. Some also suggested she was blowing the shit out of proportion to gain popularity (seems familiar?? 🧚🧚🧚) As I said, no one in the fandom/sleuth paid her much attention...

2018 - 2019; Peyton. I already posted about her here.

Also 2019; one time papwalk lady with a dog, she might have been named Lily? Some small time actress I think, but they were deemed friends and she had a BF of some sort? Nothing important anyways.

2020; The Twin Flame Era. Jules got his support and papwalks company (thanks dlisted!). Were they together? Well Jules' niece name dropped him in the Leo is bad in bed TikTok so here's that lol. Montana?? Whatever else they have been up to xddd If ye asked me in July I would say that they just ended things (the husband shopping trip, Jack unfollowing her) but then the emojis went on and on and 11:11 turned out to be a Bulianne anthem. No idea what the endgame is… Dunno if I want to know…

[stuckylibrary]

Group Ask 181

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Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

agustdynasty said:

Hello you lovely lovely people, I’m looking for a fic that I was in the middle of reading but couldn’t finish because one of those annoying “you have a virus” webpages that it would not let be back out of . It took place during the war and I believe that the commandos knew about stucky’s relationship. There is a scene in a church where an orphan child I believe asks them to put on a performance of Snow White and Bucky and Steve have to kiss since Bucky is Snow White. Thank you so much!

Anon 1 said:

Hi!! I’m trying to find a fic I read a while ago. Steve was an Omega and is set up to live with Alpha Bucky. It’s in a modern setting and they never met each other as kids. And they get really domestic and it’s super cute. Sorry I don’t remember much about the story

emmalostinwonderland and possibleplatypus sent in Season of all things* by Claudia_flies (complete | 26,466 | E) *chose not to warn

Anon 2 said:

Lost an au fic where Bucky was a SHIELD agent but Steve has still been frozen and Steve was lying/had designation problems in a D/S or A/B/O world. Bucky is an alpha and Steve is pretending to be but it makes him struggle a lot and they jerk off in the showers together because that’s normal for alphas/doms but Steve accidentally marks Bucky and it’s a huge insult in their culture so he’s offended and does it back and miscommunications until he figures out Steve is really an omega/sub

erika55wolf said:

Hi! I'm trying to find a post-winter solder fic where Bucky is on the run or homeless and doesn't even remember who he is. He was learning to be a person again and goes by the name Steve for a while because that's the only thing he remembers and feels strongly about. It was quite long, don't remember if multi-chaptered. It's possible Bucky was discovering he was gay and had sex for money, though I might be mixing it with another fic. Hope you can help!!! Thank you for everything you do

princessniitza sent in The Needle and the Killing Done* by spitandvinegar (restricted, oneshot |  7,549 | M) *rape/noncon

Anon 3 said:

Hey y'all! I read a fic a while ago where Steve painted all the avengers as saints or something along those lines and I can't find, I don't know if the author deleted it. Do you know any works like that?

Anon, princessniitza and skarabrae-stone sent in Ain’t No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down)* by spitandvinegar  (restricted, complete | 107,076 | M) *past rape/noncon, heed the tags

cyndagoaway said:

hey! haven’t looked at tumblr in a while and i was so sorry to hear about your last account! i’m looking for a fic so if you could help me out it would be cool. it’s a college au i’m pretty sure, bucky is a prostitute that meets steve at a bar, he’s hooking to pay off his student loans or something. so steve picks him up for the night and the next day when he starts college bucky is in his science class and they’re partners. sorry if it’s kinda vague.

Anon sent in Ain't No Rest Universe  by Kellyscams (series, ongoing | 314,093 | E)

Anon 4 said:

Ok this might be a bit vague but there was a fic I read a while ago where Steve and bucky were friends and then bucky moved away. Then Steve's looking for a flatmate and bucky comes to live with him. I seem to remember Steve had a stepfather that hurt his mum? Maybe guy called victor or smth? Thank you so much!

keepyourelectriceyeonme sent in G.I. Joes and 2AM Diners by OhCaptainMyCaptain (complete | 100,481 | E)

foolhappy said:

I’m looking for a fic I read a long time ago (I think just here on tumblr in a post?) where winter soldier Bucky doesn’t remember Steve but has habits left over from fighting alongside him, like keeping stuff in his pockets on one side, or describing things by shape instead of color because Steve was colorblind. Can you please help me find it again? 😭🙏

telvian said:

So I'm thinking my ask got lost in the move, or tumblr ate it. I'm looking for a fic with Viking bucky who falls in love with steve who is unknowingly the heir to some kind of irish land. He has a sheild birthmark and currently pierce is ruling his land. Bucky finds steve working in a brothel. Natasha is adopted by bucky after she tried to pickpocket him. Bucky is working on Thor's ship. Bucky is one of many sons to a Jarl, I believe this is shown at the start of the story. Thanks in advance!

agentseventyfive said:

Hey there. Thanks so much for all your hard work. Can you help me find a fic please. Bucky is staying in Clint’s apartment. Either injured or in recovery. He’s finding people interactions hard but starts to bond with Clints dog; sleeping on the sofa with the dog lying on him. Steve turns up & I think sleeps beside him on an air mattress on the floor? I’ve looked through the Lucky (Hawkeye) searches but the dog may not have been tagged despite having a big role. Thanks.

Anon 5 said:

Hi! I've been looking for this fic for almost an hour & it's driving me crazy, I was hoping you guys could help. So the details might be a bit off but it was shrunkyclunks. Bucky and Steve meet at a coffee shop where Becca works. It's Dom/sub and Bucky is a history(?) grad student (or some type of student) who ends up writing about captain america/the avengers and he ends up with a grant to open his own museum about the avengers. I think it also has Sharon&Wanda in a background relationship.

Anon 6 said:

hello there! I'm looking for a fic I read a while ago. It's post tws, bucky goes by James I believe but isn't really recovering the way they all hoped. Something magic happens and James somehow erases himself out of existence (?) So that Steve gets the old Bucky back. Somewhere at the end they get James back and Bucky goes back to his own time. I remember there was a scene in which Bucky enters James' old room and it's covered in papers and there's a gun with one bullet near the bed.

princessniitza, noneofusthesame, skarabrae-stone and drjezdzany sent in Memory* by orphan_account (oneshot | 23,934 | T) *chose not to warn

Anon 7 said: (past HTP)

There's a fic I lost where Bucky can't get off on being touched in any "inappropriate" zones because of past htp, and he can only orgasm when Steve touches him in innocent places (like arms, shoulders, etc) and praises him. Do y'all know what I'm talking about? Thanks!

keepyourelectriceyeonme sent in Need to Mean It, Concede It* by hjbaltimore (oneshot | 2,758 | M) *HTP

Anon 8 said:

Hello! I'm looking for this post-tws fic in which bucky moves into a friendly neighborhood before he meets steve again. i remember his neighbours were a lesbian couple and a woman he'd see run past every day. there was also some colourful clothing involved and a dog i think.

Anon sent in A Year in the Life of Sarge’s Person by Angst_BuriTTo, BlueSimplicity (complete | 189,125 | E)

Anon 9 said:

Hello :) I have been trying to find a fic, where the main theme is Bucky's arm and spine being operated on, so to speak, in order for him to recover after WS. I remember Tony putting together the best of the best surgeons from all over the world. I've searched through my bookmarks and my ao3 history but nothing jumps out. I remember something about Steve and Wilson finding Bucky being jumped near a lake i NY, but I'm not sure its the same fic. Can you help? Thank you.

drjezdzany and noneofusthesame sent in Thawed Out* by auburnnothenna (auburn), eretria (complete | 159,341 | E) *heed the tags!

[reversecreek]

pops hip n winks at the dash. haaaaiiii. me again. i’ve honestly missed playing lana fr a while she’s one of. my most treasured muses bc she’s jst a silly n vivacious ball of sunshine or alternatively? a train wreck depending on which way u turn her in the light..... i actually hv two playlists made fr her n one is rly old bt it’s more like. songs that Remind me of her which u can find here n then here is more like. stuff u’ll most often catch her blasting on her record player as she dances around in her underwear w the curtains open. OH and here is her pinterest 🍓⚡

* kristine froseth, cis female + she/her  | you know lana jameson, right? they’re twenty-three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a few hours? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to play that funky music by wild cherry like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole cherry red gym socks worn with nothing else, doodling penises in the condensation of a stranger’s car window, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘scrappy doo is a filthy slut’ thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is june 2nd, so they’re a gemini, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her  )

HISTORY:

lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. i picture it w dark oak floors n lots of light furniture. albums framed on walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i described it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”

lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his wealthy best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n vic ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him.

(DRUGS TW) anyway so jameson records repped a few rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare

lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. real characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast n it was just. a very strange environment fr a child to grow up in. more zoo than home. more shaken snow globe than resting place. (END OF TW)

(ABORTION REFERENCE) her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana ws a kid she asked her why she’s so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door (END OF REFERENCE)

(DISSOCIATION TW) bc of the intensity of her parents ignoring her growing up lana adopted this sense of like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost bc she gt this strange outside feeling. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w no-one acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family. (END OF TW) her imagination festered an explanation out of smthn she didn’t understand essentially. lana used her imagination to do this a lot growing up. it ws kind of like the band aid she slapped over everything. after all she wasn’t alone if she was sword fighting imaginary pirates dwn the hallway with a poker from the fireplace. 

the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. he’s the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her n cut the crusts off her sandwiches (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door bt was always over bc he had very strict parents tht he found suffocating)

(ARMY MENTION) SO when tommy announced tht he’d signed up to the army (bc of pressures from tommy’s military dad to fulfil some kind of stupid “legacy” tommy didn’t even care abt) n caleb said he was going with him lana ws understandably…….. completely blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving n was kind of like “wtf why are u doing this like what do u even think this is gna solve” etc n begged caleb not to leave her there on her own n jst to not sign up in general bc tommy had to bt he didn’t listen. 

ERM i won’t go into it but it didn’t turn out well as u can probably imagine bc the army is a terrible industry n caleb had to return home without tommy. he wasn’t the same after that. (END OF MENTION)

what’d been a rly close relationship before where he ws basically like a surrogate father figure to lana was Not there any more. he ws rly withdrawn n always pushing her away n snapping at her for the sake of getting her to leave him alone. on top of this lana had a lot of shit go down while he was away n rly just shouldn’t have been a kid alone in tht house. regardless lana thought if she kept grinning as wide as she cld she’d convince caleb to join in too. maybe if she seemed fine n happy he’d take the lead. maybe she’d believe it too n start to feel it n everything could go bk to how it was before her world became so different. lana liked the way the sky flipped when she tipped her head back on the swings bt this was different. everything was upside down bt this didn’t make her belly feel like she’d swallowed a butterfly and it wasn’t funny bt still, she kept laughing. always desperate to find something to laugh at n if she couldn’t find it she invented it. as long as ur laughing the world can’t b that bad.

she ws always well liked in school bc she jst tended to treat everyone like they were bffs no matter who like u cld have literally bumped shoulders w her once in the corridor n she’d be like OMG HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII let’s kiss<3 n like she ws a huge notorious flirt w any n all as well as incredibly impulsive n jst. wild honestly to put it simply too bt things like. changed a bit frm 16 onwards. (HYPERSEXUALITY & IMPLIED TRAUMA TW) she jst became far more reckless honestly n like....... jst didn’t rly seem to care after a certain point abt herself too much.... got herself in a bunch of bad situations.......... kind of jst flung herself to the wolves numerous times without any caution abt the way they’d bite. formed a lot of self destructive habits one of which ws cruising craigslist personals fr random hook-ups n like. she literally cld have wound up in a ditch somewhere honestly it’s a shock she hasn’t. despite various dips n inclines in her journey navigating this side of her it’s very much still present in her life to this day n she struggles to kno hw to control herself at points. sometimes she feels like a melting candle tht needs moulding by thumbs until it can form a person again. sometimes she’s only sure she’s real when she’s being touched. (END OF TW)

ANYWAY. laughs nervously. went to college to study dance bc she’s always loved dance in general bt specifically ballet (despite definitely not hving the discipline for it) n honestly this was both good n bad fr her. had a whole string of terrible heartbreaking relationships bc she tends to fall into those hard n fast n they were w a lot of bad people fr like 98% of the time. she kind of learned more abt what love is during her time there tho which is a gd thing bt she still isn’t very good at knowing hw to believe she deserves it so it’s a process. she hd fun tho. threw 498572598475 outrageous n elaborately themed parties. ws friends w pretty much everyone on campus. 

despite a strained relationship w her brother n having to go home to visit n check on him whenever he got rly bad it ws the first time it actually felt like she’d found a home in a lot of rly loving n genuine friendships n lana will never forget hw much that experience meant to her even if she definitely struggled there too. college felt like a place she belonged n then suddenly she couldn’t belong there any more n there was a big sense of floundering in that. like where do u go now when u’ve never known home elsewhere? how do u happily go out into the world if it means leaving ur world behind?

she applied to a dance company in LA n fell in w a pretentious art scene there full of wannabe andy warhols n the like. became a makeshift edie sedgwick to some guy w dyed white hair n the idea his every concept was revolutionary when rly he jst shot her dancing barely clothed splashing around in a random fountain in his friend’s mansion on an ancient film camera. she’d spend her days floating around on lilo’s and prancing in feather boas and racing with glitter leftover frm last night in her leotard w smudges of faint red lipstick to barely make her job on time. always a sexy train wreck bt this time? make it hollywood. 

(IMPLIED ALCOHOLISM TW) i won’t lie to u lana hs always partied way too hard bt then partying way too hard turned into slurping merlot thru a crazy straw shaped like a flamingo at 4 in the afternoon wearing penis novelty sunglasses n it wasn’t quite so much of a party when u were doing it on ur own. this rly snowballed into place in college bt carried on n wound up getting her fired from the dance company bc she turned up to rehearsals drunk one too many times n they didn’t allow fr sloppiness like tht. it was a “professional operation” that didn’t “accept that kind of behaviour” bt lana was jst like ummmmmmmmm that’s totally dramatic btw way to spank me in the town square like i’m gale w a raw ass n back in the hunger games bt ok sure i’m out ig. BOOP! (literally booped the director on the nose before leaving) (END OF TW)

honestly hd no idea what to do w herself after her job fell thru in LA n was pretty embarrassed actually upon sobering up the nxt day. cldn’t bring herself to tell her friends for a hot minute bc she felt like a failure or smthn n she was meant to be living this glamorous life out there being the classic wild n silly n fun Lana Jameson. cldn’t figure out how to repackage it into a funny story tht wouldn’t worry ppl. eventually wound up jst caving n telling her closest besties (shoutout freya n rosa) bc she ws hving a weird time dating losers n randomly living in LA even tho she didn’t kno why she was there any more after losing the job n they were jst like. fk it then. jst come here. we’re in irving. and so? mizz jameson packed her bags....

PERSONALITY:

always smells vaguely of wild cherries or strawberry starburst or jst the candy aisle in general. if she ws a vinyl record she’d b this one n she’d only play good vibrations by the beach boys, dancing on my own by robyn, play that funky music by wild cherry, femme fatale by the velvet underground n (i can’t get no) satisfaction by the rolling stones

the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed a bit of an instagram following #nepotism bt also fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects. lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, bright red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights, holographic stickers of planets on her cheek n glitter used like highlight, 90% of the time a red lip) n bc she’s not gna make ur eyes bleed to look at or anything let’s b real

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once.

deliberately puts on tht kind of Magnetic Alluring Act tht femme fatales wear in movies w most ppl. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as. hates being sad n always wnts to be happy / making ppl happy. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out. sometimes gets glimpses n feels the urge to close her eyes.

she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand ridiculously absurd n chaotic stories. she’s like oh ya this one time this guy made me ride him with a daddy saddle like i was woody and he was bullseye. he literally made me call him bullseye. or she’s like. oh ya once i had to run barefoot thru a cabbage patch bc this one farmer wanted to have a threeway w me n my friend tht we met off craigslist n every framed photo in his house was a pig dressed up in cosplay bt honestly they were kind of cute n he was sexy aside frm the murderous vibes n the fact he kept calling me babe which i’m pretty sure means he wanted to dress me up next bt like whatever honestly.... she tells jst the most batshit stuff n the person she’s telling it to is left blinking like. wtf.

uncontrollably flirty. insanely confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n will try. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine.

likes to roller skate n hs a red pair she’ll glide around in at night lit up by amber street lamps breath sticky w the taste of wine n lollipops probably heading to a random hookups. who needs ubers?

always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. honestly likes dangling her whole body halfway out too. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops.

luvs bowie (ONLY aesthetically) n prince (wholeheartedly) n madonna (completely) n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think.

daisies n poppies r her fav flowers bc daisies r wild n overlooked n poppies r the first thing u look at in a green field. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. honestly it’s like a burning train wreck but u can’t quite tear ur eyes away. often the heart of many sordid gossip scandals.

PLOTS:

TBA bc she’s only jst arrived in town i won’t lie to u all but i’m gna whip things up on here anyway n link in chat w updates at some point........ that said? lana is insatiable n it isn’t rly unlikely tht she cld’ve bumped into ur muse in a grocery store aisle n somehow a wild spontaneous adventure spawned frm that alone.......... if u have any immediate ideas we can discuss 😋

[not-close-to-straight]

Falling (Stuckony)(Chapter One)

A commission for @xkissmeimirishx who wanted Tony going through the wormhole above NY and right into an D/s reality. 

Generic TW for expected “into the wormhole” mentions of death/dying and panic attacks. 

STORY MASTERLIST HERE 

****************

It was weird, the way something as final as dying could seem as easy as letting go, as taking another breath, as closing your eyes and letting yourself fall.

Easy.

But then again, death was the opposite of life and life was sort of unfairly hard so maybe it was intended balance that made dying so so easy.

Letting go. Taking another breath. Closing your eyes and falling—

— Tony used to love falling. He used to love the exhilaration and anticipation, the way his breath stuttered in that split second of flying before gravity took over. He used to love falling into a new habit, falling into a new love, just falling when he jumped from the diving board or the airplane or the rocks he’d climbed on as a child that he thought were so big and then realized as an adult they were merely stepping stones.

Tony used to love falling but that was before he fell from the rocks and skinned his knee and Howard yelled at him for being clumsy. Tony used to love falling but that was before he’d fallen in love and they’d laughed at his vulnerability and submission and teased that they’d expected different from a Stark. 

Tony used to love falling, but that was before Afghanistan and Obadiah, before arc reactors that felt like gravity in his chest, before the suit shut down and he was staring at aliens through a wormhole that just days before had seemed impossible.

Tony used to love falling, but as his eyes opened wide to the horrors of another universe and JARVIS faded out and the wormhole started closing beneath him, all he could think about was how badly he needed someone to catch him.

But it was okay. Because falling was easy. And death would be easy. 

All Tony had to do was close his eyes...

...Gravity.

It sank like a rock into Tony’s stomach, made his chest seize up and his lungs constrict and help help help it felt like he was suffocating, pinned under a ton of rock and drowning beneath the ocean and he couldn’t breathe.

Dimly. Voices around him and sunshine on his face and a dog barking in circles close by but Tony couldn't open his eyes far enough to see. Electricity was shocking through his veins to his heart, itching under his skin and behind his temples and his head was pounding and it hurt. 

“Hey hey, you’re okay.” someone whispered. “Come down right here like this, on your knees beauty, that will make it feel better.” 

Never once had being on his knees made anything feel better and everything in Tony’s core revolted at the thought. He jerked forward and heaved, pitched forward and met prickly grass beneath his palms, dragged in a breath that didn’t seem to touch his lungs and vomited fear out onto the ground. 

“Aw hell, he’s in a real bad way. No collar?” 

Fingers at his throat and Tony’s mind flashed-- rolled-- gave in sluggishly to a blurry picture of Obadiah looming over him, the click of a terrifying device and the horrifying pull at his heart as the reactor had come loose. 

“Babydoll, can you tell us your name?” 

“T--Tony.” Something wet at his face like a wipe and Tony tasted blood and defiance, a too familiar voice telling him to settle and Tony suddenly remembered the disappointment on his hero’s face, the way the Captain had looked him over and then looked away like he was nothing and he flinched but then same familiar voice crooned “Easy darlin’, just settle, my name’s Steve and I’m going to help you.” 

“Tony. My name’s Bucky, can I hold you? Help you through this real quick?” A different voice pitched low and coaxing, strong fingers in his hair and Tony thought he threw up all over again when Obadiah and that paralysis machine and the violation of heart and soul and body came roaring back to his mind. 

“No.” he gasped, and the fingers let go. “No.” he said again and this time the world stopped spinning just a little bit, the input cleared enough for Tony to see the grass in his hands and the clear sky above him and two pairs of worried blue eyes in front and he opened his mouth to ask, “Who--?” 

But then gravity kicked in and he was falling again, down and down and sinking and he was cold and he was shaking and it was like the night he’d discovered the icing problem-- heart stopping fear and being trapped in what had made him so free just a moment ago, and the knowing he’d never escape this life and that it would eventually kill him--

Gravity, and Tony was falling. 

Through the wormhole, through the sky, into the Earth and into the ocean, and there was no one to catch him. 

“We’ve got you, sugar.” 

“Hold on, sweetheart, we’ll take you home.” 

“Pretty sub, don’t worry, you’re safe. You’re safe. Not gonna let anything get you.” 

“You’re dropping, honey. Stop fighting it and let go, we’ll catch you. Let go. If you fight it, it’s only worse. Come on. You can trust us.” 

“Trust us.” 

“Let go.” 

Let go. 

Tony let go, let himself fall, and when strong hands caught him, all he could think about was how good it felt to finally be held. 

***************

***************

He woke up suddenly, breaking free of a dreamless sleep and right into consciousness with a gasping breath and the sort of headache that usually only came after weekend of binge drinking. 

Pepper would be pissed. 

“Ow.” Tony whispered and dug the heel of his palm into his eyes until sparks popped behind them and forced his brain back online-- click click click-- cataloging information and putting together a timeline of what had happened and where he might be. 

New York, aliens, wormhole. Darkness and JARVIS shutting down and dying. Sunshine and gravity and voices. Sick and hurt and strangling as he tried to breathe. Letting go and falling and-- and somebody catching him. 

There was a glass of water, a bottle of lemon lime Gatorade and a couple of ibuprofen on the bedside table and Tony automatically drank the water, popped the pills, then cracked the lid on the Gatorade and sipped slowly at it as he stared around the room. 

The bed was small but the mattress was very high, a sure sign of the newer models which was a good thing since waking up in a strange bed was weird enough, waking up in on old bed would somehow be worse. The shades on the window were automatic and clearly expensive, though the clock on the wall looked like something out of the forties. Blankets were over clean and over fresh, so either just recently laundered or laundered and then folded away as a spare so this room must not be used very often. 

Spare room meant a bigger apartment and maybe no kids, no carpet just nice flooring so maybe someone single who didn’t need the odd comfort thick carpet afforded or a couple who preferred less upkeep and cleaning. A folded up art easel in the corner along with a well used apron and rolled plastic sheet so--ah, definitely a spare bedroom, definitely not for kids. An artist then, which meant the window most likely faced East to get the most sunlight for painting which meant Tony could probably see the Tower from right here but hopefully not the wormhole cos please God tell him Natasha had closed the damn thing. 

His suit had probably dismantled on the way down, but since he was alive it was more likely JARVIS had come back on line just long enough to slow his descent and let the suit take the brunt of the fall before peeling off around him. That would explain why he’d thrown up so many times, why he hurt all over, why his mind felt like scrambled eggs. 

Falling and getting all banged up in the suit-- made sense. 

Tony would just ask the people that found him and carried him in from wherever he’d fallen to take him back towards the Tower. Should be easy, he was Tony Stark, Iron Man. Recognizable and thankfully pretty well liked among the masses and if anyone doubted he could always show them the arc reactor--

--that wasn’t in his chest, holy shit the arc reactor wasn’t in his chest and Tony’s hand pressed against nothing more than scarred skin beneath his t-shirt. 

What? 

His arc reactor wasn’t there and that more than anything sent a bolt of panic through Tony’s heart, through his mind, startling him into action so he could fling himself off the bed and out of the room, bumping into walls as he tried to find a bathroom and there, he just had to figure out how to work the doorknob with suddenly sweaty hands and push past the panic crawling up his throat so he could get to a mirror and see what the hell had happened.

“Oh heya babydoll!” Very big and very Brooklyn and very shirtless was standing in front the bathroom mirror, one hand poised to shave away some morning scruff and the other-- well, the other one was no where because the man only had one arm and Tony kept staring at his face because he knew that face.

1945. Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, best friend to Captain America. Fell off a train and everyone had searched, Howard had searched just like he’d searched for Captain for years but no one had ever found him.  

Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky freaking Barnes. 

“B--Bucky?” he asked slowly, incredulously, and a smile he’d only ever seen in old footage from the Smithsonian’s Howling Commandos Exhibit beamed back at him. “You’re Bucky?” 

“Glad you remember that.” Bucky tapped his razor on the sink and finished up a few passes at his chin. “You were so out of it at the park, me and Stevie didn’t know how much you were processing. Can you tell me your name?” 

“...Tony.” 

“Good good, that’s what you told us.” he patted his face dry then turned and reached for Tony’s chin, turning his face both ways to check his eyes. “You feeling better?”  

“Y-yes?” There was a tingle in the back of Tony’s mind that whispered submit when Bucky brushed a careful thumb over his cheek and that-- that was embarrassing. 

There’d been a time when Tony had thought about submission, hell there’s been a time when he craved it, but while he was in a stranger’s home and obviously concussed because he was hallucinating long dead soldiers from his dad’s days with SHIELD-- well that was not the time. Not the time at all.  

He wasn’t about to get subby and ridiculous over a pair of blue eyes and sort of unfair muscles and a striking resemblance to a war hero. 

Nope. Nope. Not today. Not when there were aliens to clean up and a couple of spies to deal with and Pepper to try and talk out of furious hysterics and a Hulk and a demi-god and a super soldier-- 

“Tony!” 

Tony would know that voice anywhere, even if it sounded less disapproving than last time, even if it almost sounded happy to see him. He would know that voice anywhere, and he flinched away from it, recoiled from a set of big hands reaching for him and the newcomer stopped a few feet away, mouth open and eyes hurt, hands up in surrender. 

“No no, it’s alright babydoll.” Bucky wrapped his arm around Tony and hushed him. “No harm, Stevie maybe just move a little slower. I think he’s having a hard time coming out of his drop.” 

“Oh hey, I’m sorry.” the blond offered with a quick smile. “Didn’t mean to rush you, Tony. It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you, alright? I shouldn't have raised my voice or came towards you so quickly. Sorry. Do you remember me?” 

“S-Steve.” Tony stammered in disbelief, because it was right but it wasn’t right, this was a hell of a hallucination holy shit. “Steve?” 

“Yeah, yeah that’s right. I’m Steve.” He moved slower this time, reaching out to cup Tony’s chin just like Bucky had done. “How are you feeling?” 

“I--” Tony had to physically quell the urge to lean into Steve’s palm, to close his eyes and sigh at the gentle touch. It was a stupid reaction and a ridiculous thing to want so Tony leaned back entirely, even stepped away from Bucky and shook his head. “I’m fine, thanks.” 

Bucky let him go without comment, but something like hurt flashed through Steve’s eyes again and Tony didn’t understand that at all. 

“You need to take a shower, don’t you?” the big brunette decided and Tony actually had to clamp his mouth shut so he wouldn’t blurt yes sir in response to the question that had sounded more like an order. “You’ll call us if you need us, just shout and we’ll come running.” 

“If you want one of us to stand in there too, that’s fine.” Steve spoke up and Tony swiveled with wide eyes towards him. “Coming out of a drop like this is brutal, a Dom’s presence would help. Either one of us are willing to be in there with you.” 

Steve said it all like it was perfectly acceptable for him or Bucky to watch Tony shower, to share hot water with a stranger. And what did he mean a drop, what the hell was a drop and why did he call himself a Dom and-

“Easy easy, you’re fading again.” A solid hand at the back of his neck and Tony’s knees buckled under the weight. “We’ve got you.” A steadying grip at his waist, another lower on his hip to keep him from hitting the bathroom floor. “Oaky. You’re not ready for a shower.” 

I’m not ready for a shower. 

“I’m going to take you to the living room.” It was Bucky in his ear, soft and almost a drawl, an edge of Brooklyn accent coming through in a way that made Tony half hysterical, half thrilled. “Stevie, go and get one of our weighted blankets and the cloud pillow.” 

“Yeah, Buck.” Steve moved on without another word, no hesitation in his step as he went to get what Bucky had asked for and Tony had only a moment to think how odd it was for the Captain to follow orders before Bucky was gently but firmly walking him out of the bathroom and towards a couch in the living room, lightly but purposefully directing him to sit, and clearly but kindly telling him, 

“You need to sit, you need to breathe. Stay put.” 

“Yep.” Tony nodded a few times and gripped hard at the couch to try and ground himself when Bucky’s hand left his side and he ended up feeling… feeling empty. “Yeah, I’ll-- I’ll just stay here.” 

It was sort of a relief to be told what to do, to have something that Tony didn’t have to think about because right now he was thinking about everything. Bucky had told him to sit so Tony would sit. Steve showed back up with a weighted blanket in the calmest shade of blue Tony had ever seen and when the blond ordered, “Relax.” Tony simply…simply relaxed. 

Not thinking, just obeying and it was a relief. 

It was a relief like falling was a relief, but falling wasn’t safe anymore so Tony pulled himself back from that particular edge and held on to the couch tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. 

Not falling. Just obeying. Breathing and watching because even with the odd urge of submit lingering around the edges of his thought patterns, Tony couldn’t turn his brain off. 

There was too much to know, too much to wonder, and too much to see. 

Bucky moved like a man meant to be obeyed, a man used to barking orders and having them carried out without question and Steve looked like he would follow every one of those orders right off the side of a cliff if that’s what Bucky wanted. 

And that didn’t seem right, because Tony knew the stories about Captain America and Sergeant Barnes, he’d seen the war time footage and the way Steve had snapped his fingers and Bucky had run to his side, the way they were always ‘Captain and his second in command’, ‘Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes’, ‘hero and sidekick’. 

It didn’t seem right but there was something very right about the way Steve was every inch as big and powerful as he’d been facing down Loki in Germany and still somehow so soft around the edges when Bucky spoke. There’d been rumours about how close Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes really were back in the day, but seeing it for himself-- or seeing a hallucination of it for himself-- or a time travel flash back? Where the hell was he anyway?-- seeing it for himself was almost devastating. 

Steve orbited Bucky like a planet around the sun, Bucky looked up and smiled when Steve handed him a bottle of water and the blond might as well have hung the stars, they moved in close tandem and perfect rhythm and when Bucky caught Steve in close for a kiss, they fit together like two halves of a whole. 

...and gravity ripped a jagged tear through Tony’s soul, wide enough to let the lonely rush through and wrap through his heart and suddenly all he could think about was Pepper and the way she’d kissed him goodbye like he was already gone as he’d flown off to join the Avengers. And Rhodey who had begged him to call just once before doing something stupid. And his Mama who would be proud of him and his Dad who hadn’t smiled even when he graduated college and oh fuck he was lonely, he was lonely--

Tony didn’t mean to whimper out loud, it was a thoroughly embarrassing noise and if there was any thing remotely normal about this day or this situation he would have coughed it off and made some glib comment and then poured himself a fucking drink to drown it all. 

But there wasn’t anything remotely normal about anything, and Tony didn’t have a drink or the presence of mind to ask for one from the Sergeant and the Captain that were somehow not the men they were supposed to be but still two people that felt familiar down to Tony’s very bones. 

They felt familiar and they felt right and he wanted to fall to his knees and cry but instead he just whimpered and two pairs of beautiful blue eyes snapped rough to look at him. 

“Tony?” 

Submit and this time Tony didn’t ignore it and he slid off the couch to his knees, bit off a sob as the loneliness turned suffocating and it was just like earlier when he couldn’t breathe and he was drowning and he was blurring and he was---

“We’re here.” It was Steve who came close first this time, looming tall over Tony and then meeting him there on his knees, gentle fingers up his neck and lightly at his cheek and Tony gasped out loud and grabbed at the blond’s wrist because he couldn’t stay there un- tethered, floating in uncertainty and fear. 

“Oh sweetheart.” Steve sort of… sort of made a rumbling noise and it was instantly the most comforting sound in the world so Tony finally gave into the need to lean into Steve’s palm and rest his head.

“That’s good, beauty.” Steve whispered and something unlocked deep in Tony’s heart. “That’s good, you are so so good. So beautiful when you’re soft like this. I’ve got you. I can hold you when you’re down, I’m here.” 

An arm at Tony’s waist and he was pulled in gently gently until his nose notched at the hollow of Steve’s throat and he whimpered all over again when he was surrounded by warmth and steadiness and could feel Steve’s heart beneath his hands where he was clutching tight to the button up shirt. 

“You’re so good.” came the whispered reassurance and Tony couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard those words, which meant this was definitely a Grade A hallucination, which meant he was either lost in some effect of the wormhole or lying comatose in a hospital bed after falling back to Earth but either way it was fine. It was fine because for the first time in his life Tony felt loose and pliant and safe, grounded and surrounded and held and it was fine and it was fine and his mind was spinning--

“Settle.” An order from Sergeant Barnes-- from Bucky. “Sugar, I can see how hard you’re thinkin’ from right here. Settle down and breathe.” 

Tony breathed, sharp inhale and a shaky exhale that left him drained and the second he obeyed another arm wound tight around him to hold him close.  

“Holy hell, you’re about the prettiest sub I’ve ever seen.” Bucky murmured on his other side and Steve rumbled something in agreement. “Just gorgeous, sweet thing. Look how soft you are for Stevie, I love that. Good boy. Sweet boy, you’re doing wonderful.” 

The praise was like balm to Tony’s battered heart, and his last thought before letting go and slipping towards darkness was about heaven, about soft lights and quiet music and none of the noise that clamored in his head all the time. 

Heaven, because his brain could snap back into gear later and he could figure it all out later and make up for lost time later. 

Heaven, because lips brushed over his temples and a deep voice crooned, “You’re such a good sub, sweetheart.” and it was the best thing Tony had ever heard in his life. 

Heaven. 

**************

**************

“He doesn’t have a collar, Buck.” Steve twisted the heavy ring around his finger anxiously, rubbing his thumb over the raised symbol that marked him as Dominant, the pale aquamarine in the center that marked him as Bucky’s. “There isn’t very many reasons why a sub would be dropping in the middle of the park without a collar on.” 

“Only two by my count.” Bucky took a long drink of his beer and didn’t take his eyes off Steve, checking the other Dom’s posture, the stress lines between Steve’s eyebrows, the muscle jumping in his jaw as the blond ground his teeth together. “He’s recently out of a bad break up and left his claimed collar behind without purchasing a white neutral one, emotions are running high and something set him off so he slid.” 

“Or?” Steve asked tersely, knowing damn well what else Bucky would say. 

“Or his collar was removed during a scene that got outta control.” Bucky grimaced, flexing his fingers to show off the Dominant ring on his right hand. “He ran, didn’t come outta the scene properly and dropped right there in public.” 

“Neither of those scenarios are good ones.” 

“Nope.” Steve kept twisting his ring and Bucky kept watching. “He’s not a switch, Stevie, not with the way he went down.” 

“Nope.” the other Dom echoed. “Not a switch. Did you see how he looked when I held him?” 

“The way he curled into you all sweet like that?” Bucky shook his head. “Yeah baby I saw it. Definitely a sub, definitely got into something he couldn’t handle and ended up fuckin’ vulnerable in the middle of the street. It’s a good thing you saw him when you did.” 

“It was like something called me over there.” Steve confessed quietly. “Like the way it felt when you and I figured out we were in love. Called me right to him like he had been dropped there waiting for us.” 

Bucky stayed quiet a minute, brows raised and his partner finished, “Don’t like that he jerked away from me that first time though, what do you think that was about?” 

“Lotsa subs pull away from strange Doms, Stevie.” Bucky reminded him. “Maybe you look like his ex and that far into a drop he couldn’t separate you two. He cuddled right up a minute later though, right? Settled in all sweet against your heart?” 

“Yeah.” a reluctant smile pulled at Steve’s mouth. “Yeah, he sure did. Never held anyone half as sweet as him, Buck.” 

“Well I’m the only one you’ve held since we were fuckin’ kids.” Bucky grinned and kicked out at the other Dom. “You sayin’ I’m not sweet?” 

“I’m saying when it comes time for one of us to be real pretty on our knees, it's never you.” Steve corrected, and when Bucky’s eyes lit like pale lightning, the blond swallowed back a hungry jolt and whispered, “And I know you think I’m pretty when I go down for you too, Buck. But there’s somethin’ special about the way Tony is like that with us. We’ve never even taken him down, not proper, not yet. But just bringing him through that drop….” 

His voice trailed off and Bucky shifted forward in his seat, propped his chin up his hand and warned, “He could be somebody’s sub, Stevie. Be careful.” 

“He could be our sub.” 

“The reasons why he’s not wearing a submissive’s collar could be pretty fucked up, babydoll. We don’t know what sorta baggage he’s got.” 

“Yeah, or he might be a sub that refuses to even wear a neutral white one.” Steve countered. “Some subs don’t wear a collar until they find a Dom they’d be proud to claim as their own.” 

“Stevie--” 

“Tell me you don’t look at him and want him right here.” Steve tapped at his chest a few times. “Right here, Bucky. The way you wanted me, remember?” 

“You think I don’t remember th’day I got to call you mine?” Just to remind his love, Bucky lifted one heavy foot and thumped it down, inclined his head towards the floor and just like Steve did every time his Dominant wanted, he went to his knees between Bucky’s spread thighs and let his body roll lax and submissive.

“Fuck me runnin’, you’re gorgeous.” Bucky muttered roughly, winding thick fingers into Steve’s hair so he could direct a searing, claiming kiss. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Steve was every inch a Dominant in every moment but this, and he melted beneath Bucky's lips, trusting and whole heartedly belonging to the man he adored. “Bucky, just tell me--” 

“Tony is a submissive desperate to be held.” Bucky interrupted, tugging on the blond strands until Steve’s head fell back obediently. “And I’m pretty fuckin’ desperate to hold him. We’re gonna take it one day at a time, one moment at a time and if Tony wants to stay then he has a place to stay.” 

“Yes sir.” Steve nodded. 

“If Tony doesn’t want to stay, he doesn’t have to.” 

“Yes sir.” 

“You want him?” 

“I-- I think I need him.” 

“Okay then.” Another kiss, soft and sweet and achingly tender. “If you need him, I need him too. Call Clint and tell him we’re not hanging out tonight. Tell him we’re busy. I’m going to order food, we’ll wake Tony up again and then we will eat together.” 

“Yes sir.”

“Stevie?” Bucky waited until those gorgeous blue eyes met his. “Get up off your knees and kiss me like a Dom, sweetheart.” 

“Mmm, my pleasure.” 

******************

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[path-of-my-childhood]

Collect Call From... TAYLOR SWIFT

Blender Magazine (final, unpublished issue from May 2009) // By Josh Eells

Each month, one lucky rock star phones Blender HQ for seven days straight, just to, you know, share. Now on the line: country-pop princess.

DAY 1: FEBRUARY 24th, 3:51 pm

Swift calls from Nashville, where she lives with her parents and younger brother. “I’m so happy to be home! I’ve been in Europe for two weeks. I got back two nights ago and spent half of yesterday sleeping. This is my only week off for months, but I categorize vacations differently than most people. I don’t care if I’m doing interviews from when I wake up till I go to sleep, as long as l’m in my own bed, that’s a day off.  This morning I went to some of the radio stations in town, said hi to program directors. Then I met with my stylist - we talked about tour outfits. And now I’m getting dressed for my brother Austin’s lacrosse game. He plays goalie - this is his first game as starter. His friends used to tease him about me, but now he's six two and built. I don’t think they make jokes anymore.”

DAY 2: FEBRUARY 25th, 4:14 pm

Swift phones from home, where she’s “lounging on the couch under a quilt” and playing with her dogs, Baby (a Doberman) and Bug (a mini Pinscher). “Austin did great! His team won, and he kept a bunch of balls out of the goal. Afterwards I went with my friend Emily to a Nashville Predators game. I did a commercial for them, so they hook me up with tickets when I’m in town. There’s a couple of cute guys, but I think they’re all married. I totally cheer and do the fang-finger thing. Last night they put me on the JumboTron, and you could literally see the wave of people getting up to come over. I’m still getting used to the fact that being stared at is part of my day - in high school it meant I had something on my face. The fact that my albums has been No. 1 for 10 weeks - it’s unbelievable. But this week looks a little questionable: The Jonas Brothers have an album out, too. Hmm.”

DAY 3: FEBRUARY 26th, 5:30 pm

Swift dials in from the road In Nashville, where she’s stuck In rush-hour traffic. "I just shot a video with my friend Kellie [Pickier] for a song we wrote together. It’s about ex-boyfriends. In the video I am kind of her trouble-making sidekick - I wore this strapless studded dress with a zipper up the front. The whole day I was afraid someone was gonna walk by and unzip me. It would have taken half a second to ruin my day. Oh, my God, last night I fell asleep on the couch watching CSI: NY. I was out at like 7, but at some point I dragged myself to bed, and apparently in my haze I turned the heat up to 95! I woke up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, with my poor cat lying on the floor panting. I made myself an ice bath and called my friend Emma in LA - she was in Superbad - and she kept me company for two hours while I cooled down.”

DAY 4: FEBRUARY 27th, 4:37 pm

Swift rings from the music room at her house, where she’s teaching herself how to play piano. “I’m still not caught up from my jet lag. Today I woke up at 5:30, ate same cereal and fell back asleep on the couch. I didn’t sleep long though, because we had rehearsal this morning. Kenny Chesney was rehearsing next door, so we chatted for a bit. Nashville is a really small town. I still live with my parents because I’m never home long enough to move out. And I don’t go to bars, because I’m 19 and scared of breaking rules. Besides Kellie and my best friend Abigail, who moved to Kansas, most of my friends are in LA. And boys aren’t even an issue right now. I categorize guys as “talking”, “nominees” - people you feel like you could someday date - and “dating”. Right now I don’t even have nominees. I don’t even have potential future nominees! But I’m used to being single. Before my last relationship [with Joe Jonas] I was single for like two years. It’s sort of my thing.”

DAY 5: FEBRUARY 28th, 12:50 pm

Swift checks in from her mom’s car with some medical news. “So, I’m driving to the doctors office. I burned my face with a curling iron! Don’t worry, I’m fine - I’ll call you after we’re done. [She phones a few hours later.] OK. What happened was, I woke up at 6 am and decided to curl my hair. I guess l was still asleep, because I slipped and burned my face under my right eye. It hurt really bad, but I didn’t think much of it. I edited and uploaded a MySpace video - unhindered by the fact that my face was melting off - and went downstairs, and my dad was like, ‘Oh, my God!’ I guess it was worse than I realized. So we went to the dermatologist. She gave me a prescription for some burn cream - I’m not sure what it is, but it has a lot of syllables. The good news is I’m expected to make a full recovery.”

DAY 6: MARCH 1st, 10:03 pm

Swift phones from Plant City, Florida, where she lust performed at the world famous Florida Strawberry Festival. “This place is strawberry city! When we landed, there were official Strawberry Festival minivans waiting to pick us up, driven by people in strawberry shirts. In the dressing room there were bushels of the most beautiful, gigantic chocolate covered strawberries I’ve ever seen. It’s like they welded three together! And this afternoon I met the Strawberry Festival Queen and her court. They were dressed in red and looked very sparkly. It was cold for Florida, like 55 and rainy, but everybody bundled up and had a great time. Afterward we had a police escort, which always makes you feel cool, and we’re taking a private jet, which is even cooler. On the way to the airport all these kids were trying to hurl themselves on our car - it was pretty frantic for a second. But thankfully no one got hurt. That’s why it was cool.”

DAY 7: MARCH 2nd, 12:50 pm

On her last day at home, Swift calls from her favorite couch, where she’s enjoying the view of Old Hickory Lake. “It’s freezing in Tennessee! It’s like 29 degrees, and I’m sitting here packing sundresses and flip-flops for two weeks in Australia. That and downloading movies for the 20,000-hour flight I’m about to embark on. I have three goals for this trip. One, get a tan. Two, go to the beach. And three, debut my new summer wardrobe. Oh, and four, play some good shows and make an impact on Australia! Ha. I don’t go into most situations thinking I’m going to win. I’ve never even won a raffle. These blessings I’ve had lately are more amazing than I could have ever imagined. We got the new projections today, and It’s looking like we’re going to be No.1 again. Does it feel a little sweeter this week? [Laughs] Yeah - just a little.”