#and once again: triggers! many triggers! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dukeofthomas · 10 days

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"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.

(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)

#my dc posting #dc #jason todd #jaybin #im having so many thoughts abt jaybin and he is so important to me #in one fic he went on a hunger strike bc alfred didnt eat w them and did it for so long they had to compromise #i love a jaybin 100% willing to menace and bother batman until the man folds. as is his right #the thing abt jason's backstory is that it shows him unwilling to suffer for a home #ma gunn's is bad; he gets beat up and she tries to get him to help rob a place. so he leaves! and rats the whole thing out to batman #and shows up himself cus he didnt think he had been believed #and lets not forget the fact he hit batman with a tire iron and called him a 'big boob'!#the boy's got moxie!! let jaybin be crass and angry and sassy and flawed and traumatized without reducing him to 2d caricature of a 'troubl #d kid'#i dont like a jason who did nothing but use excessive violence and disobey orders and be cocky and all that shit #i like a jason who was. oh yknow. a complex person!! a child/teen who has been fucking abused!!!#you shouldnt erase the fact that jason's reaction/response to stressful situations and triggers IS anger #it's not an indication that he was always gonna become a criminal/red hood or whatever. get outta here w that shit #but like. let us not go so far in the other direction we forget to have him react and be affected by the abuse he's suffered #anyway. if anyone should be a drama-queen it should be jaybin. once he becomes truly comfortable w bruce he should dial it up to 11 #a lot of red hood's appeal (to me&many others) is that he is an 'imperfect' victim. meaning he is angry and flawed and doesnt suffer quietl #but is loud and obvious abt it #so when i see jaybin written as the opposite its like. man whats that about #anyway. jaybin is good and cares and wants to help and protect people. and by god if i ever see anybody writing #him having arguments with bruce about the no kill rule WHILE robin again im gonna throw hands istg-#my tags are like a hidden treasure box. most of what i say is in here lmao

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bluevaractyl · 1 month

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The monster is finished. I am free

Please heed the warnings, guys, this one gets a little heavy. Not a lot of comfort. Hyrule is having a truly terrible time.

#the part that took the longest: making the endnotes fit in the box #sooo many trigger warnings #author is once again projecting onto her favorite characters. they do not appreciate it #linked universe #blue writes

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mirmidones · 17 days

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3.40 i woke up bc i was cold and needed to pee and now i can't fall back asleep i keep thinking of the people i accidentally ghosted. is it ghosted if there was no intent to ghost? i feel so bad and it's not even like i don't think about them i often do think "i should really reply to them... once this is over ill properly sit down and write them... " and then i don't bc something else happens and im dealing with that and the longer i leave it unanswered the more difficult it becomes because i feel so guilty and therefore want to do things properly not half assed but bc i feel so guilty a part of me also tends to avoid it even more. if i do this to you just know i'm really sorry and ill get back to you i swear

#i have this friend i didn't reply to him for 6 months and then i did with lots of apologies he replied no worries haha AND I WENT AND DIDN'T #REPLY TO THAT FOR ANOTHER 6 MONTHS and the thing is when i had texted him in january i was falling ill and then i was ill for more than a #week so i wasn't really in a condition to reply. and since bc of the illness i had missed some crucial classes and was in the middle of #exam session and i was really struggling so then too i delayed texting him. and then the second semester started and it was such a shitshow #and then i fell ill again and i thought to write him hey i was first ill then send i didn't reply to you and im ill now and im replying to #you 🫠. but then i didn't again #anyways last week i finally texted him like ''hey. how are you ? im really bad at keeping in touch im sorry. can i offer you lunch or dinne #one of these days to apologize and so that we can catch up a little?'' and he hasn't replied yet which is like obviously fine. id get it if #he didn't reply for 6 months or a year i'd pretty much deserves it id say. i'm just worried that he'll never reply bc i have fucked it up #entirely. the truth is all my lifd ive been used to seeing many people i care deeply about like once or twice a year without barely any #contact in between and when we're together again it's like time hasn't passed at all. we just pick up from where we left #the same goes with long distance friendships. to me #anyone ANYONE can tell you how little i reply. :(. still. i know it's not good. @ friend i hope you'll find it in you to forgive me and let #me treat you to lunch #god. side note there is something in this house that is triggering my allergy so bad whether its dust or cat blanket im having the worst #time #good night ill try to sleep again now #it took me one hour to write this post yes

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therevengeoffrankenstein · 1 year

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now i do like 'young and menace' but it is not a pleasant listening experience for me, personally. i think it's a beautiful piece of art that perfectly encapsulates the essence of all the evils of mental illness in sonic form. and is therefore a deeply uncomfortable listen FOR ME. like yeah! oops i. did it again i. forgot what i was losing my mind about. for real! that is what that sounds like. mania itself caught like lightning in a bottle (3:43 long song).

#i genuinely really like mania as an album but 'young and menace' is so foreboding it makes me feel sick. beautiful job guys it's #nauseating 👍 like genuinely it's so beautiful but basically unlistenable to me bc that is how i feel constantly.#i def get why other people actually enjoy listening to it and find it to be a bop but for me #it's like the diary of a man driven to suicide by his own insanity found clutched in the hand of his dead corpse.#infinitely interesting and melancholic in its beauty but ultimately deeply uncomfortable to experience.#myevilposts #fall out boy #i think that's why so many people don't like it. it's so. gutting. garish and unabashed in its display.#but that is quite literally the point. mental illness IS like that a lot of the time.#once again cannot put enough emphasis on the fact that i do like it. it's just. kinda triggering for me personally.

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dravidious · 1 month

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You're more amazing than dreams

Nerfed signposts!

#some of them were really simple nerfs like Seeker of Power only draining once instead of for each attacking modified creature #and on the other end Bestower of Wisdom got so thoroughly reworked it needed a new name #also i reworked Twilight Pegasus right now; my original nerf had it give flying to a creature with lesser power when it attacked #but that would be punishing you for buffing your valiant creatures #and also some valiant abilities buff power which would make the pegasus' ability fizzle #some of these were really bullshit like Awoken Ingenuity killing an opponent's creature and then drawing free cards when it attacks #absurd card advantage machine #Violent Blacksmith maybe wasn't too strong but the mana adding ability felt more green than red #Mutant Bodybuilder giving free stats was pretty strong so now you have to pay mana and it can only buff itself #Faith Given Form gave too many free stats and was an angel without flying so i gave it conditional flying/vigilance #Mutator's Masterpiece had a lot of text so i cut the 2nd ability and increased the cost & base stats to make it more of a late-game card #i also just reworked it right now; it used to draw a card when the 3rd counter was put on it #but even aside from power concerns that's just not necessary. keep it more focused #i think part of why i made the cards more complex is because i felt the need to justify them being multicolor #but i've noticed that's not always necessary #for example Kraum Violent Cacophony doesn't do anything remotely red #anyway i just adjusted Twilight Pegasus again. i had it give a flying counter to target creature when it dies but i cut it #it's enough for it to just be a good cheap flier that gets bigger #i wanted it to also have a way to trigger valiant but nah there's plenty of targeting effects in the set #it's fine for it to just be a good valiant creature

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toastsnaffler · 3 months

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looking up info on keloid scarring is so helpful. thanks man I didn't think of trying that one

#well actually that kind of is relevant bc ive been trying to find more info abt tattooing keloid prone skin #which is effectively opting to wound urself. but everywhere is just like if ur keloid prone ummm. Don't do it 👍#theres not enough known abt keloids to predict if theyll be triggered or not by the healing process like it depends on so many things #i mostly get them from acne scars. but they dont always immediately appear sometimes its weeks or months after #n once u get them theyre permanent. treatments for them have a 100% rate of recurrence n will grow back bigger if u try to excise them #and they cant be tattooed over like other scars bc they dont hold ink n the irritation can cause them to get bigger too #it depends a lot on the tattoo artists skill/experience ig like u have to know Exactly how deep ur tattooing + how the wound will heal #bc if healing triggers keloids. well ill just end up with permanent scarring instead theres nothing i can do if it happens #which honestly might still look cool but its unpredictable bc they tend to extend past the original wound. n it wouldnt scar uniformly #urgh. i should probably talk to a gp n an actual tattooist abt it. i could ask to get like a rly small tattoo to test how my skin reacts #pointless thinking abt rn anyway cuz im not gonna get one any time soon i have some other shit to sort before that #but it would be so frustrating if i cant i have so many tattoo ideas i do rly want them.... :-(#ah well whatever.. im just procrastinating doing shit i need to crack on bc i cant spend another entire weekend doing nothing #after a month n a half of being on meds i feel like theyre becoming less effective. my task paralysis n focus is getting worse again :(#like its taking more and more effort its been rly noticeable at work. hoping its just bc of general mental health or poor sleep or smth #and not that im building tolerance or smth bc man. what else can i even do if that happens #this is gonna make me miserable to think abt so lets go do smth else!#at least i woke up feeling tons better today 💪💪💪 storm passed baby #.diaries

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mrgaretcarter · 11 months

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Once again I ask, block post function when??

#tumblr #sometimes a post is fine but it has crossed your dash one too many times and you cant deal w seeing it again #sometimes a post is triggering for whatever reason and you dont wanna run the risk of another shot of anxiety #sometimes a gifset is too long and you dont wanna have to scroll down it more than once #sometimes an opinion is just dumb and you wanna remove it from sight #SO! MANY! USES!#please give me a block post function tumblr 😭

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hussyknee · 8 months

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Deeply pissed off by accusatory and condescending ask. You're free to correct me but not lecture me. I'm a person with triggers too. Entirely too exhausted to even figure out what you're saying with two essay length asks that equate mental illness stigma with genocidal colonization and also acting like my mutual doesn't have schizophrenia themselves. Please unfollow if you can't explain things without sending me condescending missives about how you're disappointed in me and I should know better and I post "deeply harmful" tags. I am too busy scraping the bottom of the barrel to live up to whatever standards of moral social justice behaviour you think I should follow. I am also utterly traumatized by my 17 years in the psychiatric complex, I am also in a mental health crisis and struggling with bipolar. Neither I nor my OCD appreciate it.

Edit: okay nevermind, after seeing what this person reblogged in response to my mutual's post I have blocked them. Holy shit the vitriol and name-calling. Absolutely no.

#i get you're clearly triggered but consider that other people are also mentally ill #i mean this is tumblr. who isn't #i completely do not have the bandwidth for this shit #this is not a popular blog yo. it's a very medium sized personal one full of odds and ends. i'm not an influencer #yes I am in fact 'reactive' it's called having an assortment of triggers from my own many marginalizations #and a storied career of being on social media #also what dyou call sending me two essay length lectures over a bunch of tags #and stop equating other oppressions with colonization. it's racist. there's zero need to compare things to genocide to be taken seriously #i'm not blocking you because i understand being triggered and angry but i tend to regret it after i de-escalate #and i'm hoping we can have a more constructive interaction once you stop feeling the need to attack #but again i am running on one and half spoons so the most i'll be able to do is turn it over in my head at leisure #edit: oooookay saw their reblog and blocked them. yikes on a bike.#they're clearly deeply unwell but nobody has to take that level of abuse #knee of huss #asks

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tchaikovskaya · 2 years

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:)

#i sincerely dont understand why i have followers like my blog has 3 different Vibes/types of posts #and i'd imagine that 2 of those would alienate each other's audiences (for the people here for just 1)#(ftr the 3 are 1. artsy shit 2. Funnie Joaks 3. condescending leftist takes)#i mostly think the aesthetic/art/fashion stuff would alienate the leftist hot takes and vice versa #and to be clear im not complaining or whatever. like its my blog and idc about how many followers i have. i havent for years now lol #my blog is for me and ur welcome to spectate and/or interact with me but its ultimately just stuff i like xo #just kind of talking into the ether here yknow. like i genuinely dont know why someone here for 1/3 puts up with the other 2/3s #and i dont even tag things in a helpful way for blacklisting purposes lmao. my tags are (once again) for my own use #well mostly. trigger warnings are the exception i dont use those for organizing posts those are for your sakes :)

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peppermintbutch · 1 year

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Anton compilation

#i miss him so much going through old photos on my laptop and like every second photo i took was an anton photo #there were so many little things about him that will never be there again. But I'm so happy i got to see them even the disgusting ones.#he would lay on my feet when i was cutting vegetables. he would flatten his ears as a way of saying hi.#he would do his best impression of a human hello when encountering people on his walks. he loved to eat carrots #and whenever he got one he'd run off to his bed with it and the crunching would be so loud.#he could notice when people were angry or sad and he'd try to comfort me and lick my face when i was crying.#we'd throw sticks for him into wheat fields and he'd lose them in there and prance like a deer only his ears sticking out.#he smelled really awful most of the time. he loved to eat shit and dead animals.#he was really scared of sheep and skylarks and our neighbors cat #he loved swimming and when he first learned how he splashed around so much like a little fountain.#he liked to sleep with his head on my shoes. at night i would hear the tap of his little feet #and then a thump when he'd lay down against my parents bedroom door and then a really loud sigh.#he once got on the table and ate the bolognaise when my mom was picking me up from school but he left a plateful for me #he made genuinely the strangest noises I've ever heard a dog produce.#after i moved out he was always so happy when i came to visit. he loved people #when he was younger there were a few trigger words that made him so excited he'd run up the stairs and howl. one of them was my sisters nam #as he got older he became more of a baby and so cuddly and calm.#i'm really sad that i didn't get to say goodbye to him or be there when he died but i hope he knew how much i love him

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fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 2 years

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got into a convo with my family this morning that started with politics and philosophy and ended up spiraling into a rant about the nature of goodness and none of that is actually important eXCEPT that it reminded me of the ‘without hope without witness without reward’ quote and this all leads me to what I want to say which is—

I have realized that that line ^ is the standard by which I measure any portrayal of River Song. if there’s a story about her that doesn’t convince me that a) this is a person who could and would write that OR b) this is a person who can become the kind of person who writes that, then it’s not going to work for me.

#it is time once again for Gurt to randomly start having emotions about River and about s10 of DW apparently #I just have so many feelings about how THAT LINE is from RIVER SONG and what that says about her #this is what he believes!! and that is why I love him!!#she believes it as well but she is not always able to live by it #which is why she is the Doctor’s wife; because she is one of the many people in the universe whose presence and whose actions #allow the Doctor to continue being the Doctor!!! she keeps him true!!#she pulls the trigger she has the blood on her hands so that he won’t have too!! and there are so many others too—#Romana and most of his companions and UNIT and Torchwood and even the Master sometimes #they do the dirty work so that the Doctor can continue being the Doctor #the one who gives hope to the universe because he is good and he tells them that there is another way than violence #(but sometimes there isn’t. and there are people who have committed themselves to making sure he doesn’t have to acknowledge that)#idk it’s all very complicated I have many many feelings about it and I wanna run to the edge of a very tall cliff and scream now hdhdhdjdjd #doctor who #river song #mobile

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earl-grey-love · 2 years

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My husband started talking about dr*gon age and it awoke the sleeping beast within me that is obsessed with it.

#its on the exact same level as my noire obsession is #like I have pretty much the whole of inq. memorised #cus ive played it so many times #i actuallly 100% completed all content in it once #Ive played the other two games tho I never finished 2 #cus i just get bored of the repetitive gameplay #repetition genuinely triggers some primal force within me it causes me physical pain idk why #origins i played once but it was so important to me that i dont need to play it again #that game literally saved my life #it genuinely did #but jeez did my husband just spark something in me i thought was long gone lol #i spent every second after that watching lore vids lol #levi speaks

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prncples · 2 years

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#i think there's been something my therapist has been helping me chip away at #that was at the root of a recent bad anxiety episode/trigger that's been bothering me for weeks #if not months #over the last few weeks they've really cracked this nut wide open and the exercises are a little cheesy #but that's okay too... sometimes deconstructing the selectively reinforced self-flagellation #looks a little cheesy #but that's part of the recovery... kill the cringe cop in your (my) head...#but it does also mean having retread some old ground plus unearthing some text posts from before therapy #forgive the long rambling tags i just feel awed once again at how much changes in 3 years #i feel silly looking back at things that were obvious #at times i didn't advocate for myself in the name of people pleasing and believing less in myself #than in the necessity of harmony by anyone else's terms #the feeling silly isn't the same as feeling regret #but i think i don't fully want to forget what the echoes of those feelings were like #bc they were part of a deeper bonding process with so many people #that i love to have these bonds with #including nova who tried to eat my foot an hour before i queued this #isn't his birthday bowtie so cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#also i know it isn't a necessity towards doing good work in therapy #but having a queer nb e asian mandarin speaking therapist has just #been really cool and helped me relax in so many ways and they ask great questions #never felt so consistently that way with any other mental health professionals #so apologies for all the therapy related rambles that have gone in the tags lately #fore-apologizing for a little more to come

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girl-bateman · 3 months

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Blood-work came back fine which either means I really do have a mysterious deadly illness OR its my mental health that's fucking up my physical health. Now my dilemma for my upcoming appointment .. do I mention how neurotically devastated I've been feeling these last months, knowing the doctor might be relieved to blame it all on hysteria instead of doing more testing ? Or do I just... not say anything about that.. lol

#i feel very very uncomfortable referring to diagnoses or specific mental health conditions that i cannot confirm i have (!)#but if this is indeed all linked to that stuff that happened 4months ago #which hypothetically would be linked to some unpleasantness that idk about from the past #then yes. my physical symptoms could technically be explained by a triggered trauma response #made worse by anxiety stress hightened cortisol levels etc etc #HOWEVER lots of doctors tend to dismiss women abt physical symptoms in favour of blaming mental health issues #and i dont want to give them any reason to do that in case i really am sick fr (as in dying lol)#bit then again i kinda am hysterical 👍#im relieved my friends have been so gentle with me abt this but it kinda makes it harder to have a reference point for how insane/normal #my thoughts and reflections are. bc they're just doing that empathetic listening thing. not rly saying what THEY think u know #and dont get me wrong! thats prob the right call! but for once id just like for someone to be like #'obviously u were xx' ??? bc they just keep saying they dont wanna speculate. and i dont either! but im going mad trying to find anwsers #and ig i just want someone to tell me what i should think and do and whats normal and whats not #like??? is it rational for me to think something bad happened or am i being delusional. evil and paranoid ???#am i in denial for believing that nothing might have happened at all and that there might be other things to explain whats going on ??#i just want to know what the normal ppl think bc i feel very far from normal rn #and i can tell my friends are having so many opinions that they are leaving unsaid #which low key is not helping the paranoia BUT once again i know that they are doing it out of kindness and sensitivity 🙏💓#i love my friends and this is not a diss to them !!! i just have a lot of conflicting thoughts and feelings abt it looool #sorry these tags always turn into a rant #diary entries

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princessmyriad · 5 months

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#must not text him texting him is the growth killer #must not text him texting him would be bad because it will make us feel bad and its my fucking bday this weekend #im not letting me do that to us #but fucking god i miss him rn and a lot lately 😭😮‍💨 was there a traumaversary i didnt know about??#the only him related traumaversary already happened in feb and we handled it pretty fairly well (mostly due to the ffected being dormant)#but still like. what did i do last year for my bday? what did we do the year before he was probably there then but i dont remember feeling #this way around last bday? which he prroobbabblyy wasnt there for? time is not easy for me #idk its driving me crazypants lately like i miss him so much i thought he was my everything forever he told me he would be #but hes not and he never was and hes done a lot to hurt me but none of it was on purpose he was never mean or violent #and looking at old pictures we look so fucking good together and old chats the way he talked to me was so sweet and but that doesnt change #the fact that at this point in time and probably never again is he actually here #fuck this noise man ive got a cute outfit ready im going to the local museum with my grandma for my bday day #and ive got weed and tunes planned for the evening there are so many things to look forward to coming soon why #why do i seem to be stuck in the past lately. like not in active ptsd mode im not triggered as the kids love to say but i just cant stop #thinking abt him and the whole relationship and wishing he was here. wishing he never left? or more like wishing hed come back #hoping that hes changed enough and that i have too to make it work. i keep having awful visions of him coming to my door after a life attemp #and im so mad at him but i cant leave him out here so of course i invite him in to care for him and make sure hes ok #and its awful because it feels like a whisper away from being reality. its too close to what could be real #and its awful not because its a dream but because the closeness to what could be reality hurts so much when logic kicks in #and i know its not reality no matter how dang close it seems #personal #i think im splitty lately. im losing more time than usual and i cant get this boy outta my head.#i hope hes a lingering thought and not a permanent resident oh that would fuck us up so so bad #idk. idk dude! everythings fucked up atm im doing a lot of personal growth but im also behind on so many other things #i just want him out of my brain. its my fucking goddamn birthday and im making this one a good one for fucking once #i can handle the other shit later but this one do be fucking me up in a major way lately the last few days. weeks? who knows

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myheartxmyman · 6 months

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Hätte ich die Wahl zwischen vergewaltigt werden, dafür aber alles ab Silvester nicht so abgelaufen wäre wie es ist. Oder nie wieder vergewaltigt werden, und die Realität wäre weiterhin die Realität, dann würde ich ohne zu zögern Option eins wählen.

preferred. If you wanted to spend new years eve with me you would have taken this 10 minutes drive .. I mean you were able to drive 9 times longer in the other direction. The other proof that "wish I would be with you on the tower like last year' wasn't the truth is, that you booked that flight. If what you wrote would have been the truth you should have been like 'I want to be with her. Now I am with my mates and over one hour drive away from her. I should at least spend the 1th of January with her. Celebrating our own new years eve like we did the year before.' Instead you booked a flight. YOU BOOKED A FUCKING FLIGHT. That alone broke my heart because I waited and waited and waited and hoped again and again and again. Instead of spending my father's money on trips/vacations/traveling/exploring I LITERALLY SPENT IT ON SHIT. Because people have to eat, while waiting for things that are never gonna happen. And then, out of nowhere YOU BOOK A FUCKING FLIGHT. And what really shattered my being, my trust in you, what ripped my heart out, what nearly cut our already damaged bond completely through was the LOCATION you went to. You lied by saying 'that's a coincidence it was the cheapest flight', and you really brought the fucking Robin thing GETTING MY HOPES UP THAT YOU ARE GONNA STAY, and then left nevertheless. You KNEW, you did it aswell. I would have given you those 500€ without hesitation, but I had no worth at all for you. And I begged, I tried to find a compromise, it didn't matter to you. I didn't matter. You decided what you wanna do like living a single life. Your behavior had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH A RELATIONSHIP. I can't understand how you were able to hurt me that bad. How the fucking hell could you do to me what you did?! And sadly it wasn't the first time I had that awful thought in mind. Sometimes you are the CRULEST person I ever met. How just how?!?! You enjoyed yourself, having a good time sitting in the sand, in the warmth, listening to the sound of the ocean, watching a sunset with another girl right next to you. Just thinking about this makes my insides cringe in agony and tremendous pain. And said girl 'she's just a friend of Aman', was always right by your side. Leg pressed on leg. Her leg was pressed to yours not to Amans leg who was sitting on the right side next to her. On your esplanade stroll or whatever it was you were walking closest to her, directly behind her, looking happy like you were living your best life. At the same time I had one breakdown after the other. Because I was stupid enough to trust you. I trusted you completely and you smashed it. I saw the way you were looking at her and I know your behavior good enough to see some things. You did quite a lot of things those last months that hurt me badly, but your 'Männertrip' killed something inside of me and I can't look at you the same.

#still devastated #so many painful things happened in one week #I had a complete mental breakdown #I am still shocked #it hurts and hurts and hurts #I wrote you everything what I am thinking about our relationship #I opened myself completely #I also wrote I would take a flight the following day #you left me on read #for hours while being awake #having a good time #celebrating life and holidays #the person that says of himself 'I don't need that I don't have the urge to go away'#when you finally answered it was one sentence #just a few words #saying something like ' I slept that long'#do you think I am stupid? I was on read for hours.. And when you finally decided to write roughly ~six words you didn't thought of reading #my messages #you totally ignored EVERYTHING #so i deleted it #and I should finally take the step and delete whatever this is that's left of us #how could you behave that cruel?#and once again it were those 500 dinero #I remember asking Philip 'when are we gonna have one full day for us?...' so if I sell my body to some man and earn 500bucks you would take #a day off? ' and he was like' yes'#then you came around and I wasn't worth 500€ to you #you knew you were killing me with your decision #you triggered me in so so many ways #out of nowhere 'I am flying to *****' wtf?!?!#we didn't spend new years eve together because you were once again writing one thing not even half heartedly but showed what you really

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