#they do the dirty work so that the Doctor can continue being the Doctor

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

got into a convo with my family this morning that started with politics and philosophy and ended up spiraling into a rant about the nature of goodness and none of that is actually important eXCEPT that it reminded me of the ‘without hope without witness without reward’ quote and this all leads me to what I want to say which is—

I have realized that that line ^ is the standard by which I measure any portrayal of River Song. if there’s a story about her that doesn’t convince me that a) this is a person who could and would write that OR b) this is a person who can become the kind of person who writes that, then it’s not going to work for me.

[onlymingyus]

Somebody [SVTHUB world tour collab]

pairing; choi seungcheol x f!reader

genre; smut (minor dni), fluff, angst, romance, fake dating au

summary; When you need someone to help you out of a bind quickly, you pick the first person you see to be your “boyfriend”, you just didn’t expect it to be your single hot dad neighbor, Choi Seungcheol…

content warnings; single father!seungcheol, teacher!reader, seungcheol has a child (obviously), eating/drinking, jeonghan/joshua (implied relationship but not stated), betting metioned, alcohol, medical field - doctor!seungcheol, doctor!joshua, mentions cheating in past relationship, mentions death/accident of spouse - widow!seungcheol --- i am sure there are more, if there is anything important you want me to add let me know

smut warnings; unprotected sex (birth control mentioned), creampie, fingering, oral (f receiving), begging, crying (pleasure), multiple orgasm, lots of pet names, marriage kink, seungcheol carries the reader and is larger than the reader, manhandling, shower sex...again if I miss something let me know.

w/c; 25.2k and some change (623 extra words for patreon bonus)

svthub world tour masterlist

a/n; thank you to my @junkissed for proofreading for me once again, i love you so so much. i really hope you guys enjoy my little addition to the svthub world tour and those on tumblr will join me in Barcelona for the bonus 💕

before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here

You were exhausted. You had been living in your new apartment complex for around three months, yet you still weren’t completely unpacked. Between work and just a general unwillingness to complete a single project that had to do with your personal life, it seemed easier to let the boxes sit where they lay until they became an inconvenience. Today, they were an inconvenience. 

So now you find yourself having worked a full eight hour work day and you still managed to unpack four of the daunting boxes, and you were feeling pretty good about yourself. At least you were until you made your way down to the parking lot to put the boxes into the recycling bin and heard an unwelcome voice. 

“Y/N… hey.” 

Your ex-boyfriend’s voice made any strength you had in your arms leave as you attempted to push the boxes into the large blue bin. He didn’t live in your complex. In fact, you had moved out of your shared apartment with him, which was at least a 20 minute drive away. It should surprise you that he would show up uninvited and unannounced, but after a five year relationship with him, you knew he was persistent. 

Wiping your hands off on your jeans, you clear your throat and turn to meet the man’s eyes before looking for how you were going to get out of the situation. You weren’t afraid of your ex; it was more that he didn’t know when to stop. You had told him time and time again, after a very messy breakup where you had caught him cheating, that you wouldn’t take him back. It didn’t make it any easier that you had the same profession as him and when things had been great, the two of you had applied at the same place. 

“Alex… wild seeing you here. You don’t even live here.” 

He knew you were being evasive. You did the same thing at work, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t still try. Persistence was key. There had been something there between the two of you that made a relationship last for as long as it did, and if he worked hard enough, he could get it back. At least that’s what he thought. 

Sighing, Alex watches you turn away from him, heading back towards the building. Following behind you, he groans when you shoot him a dirty look. 

“Babe, seriously? I’m looking at the apartments in the area. I thought I’d just stop by and say hi.” 

Rolling your eyes, you use your body to shield the keypad so you can type in the code to unlock the complex’s door, hearing the code get denied, once and then twice. You were flustered and hitting the wrong buttons. 

“Sure, whatever. You have a perfectly fine apartment, and don’t call me babe. I’m not your babe.” 

When you can’t seem to get into the building, Alex sighs again, reaching out to try to comfort you, but he only manages to make you uncomfortable as he grabs your arm, telling you to calm down. You look to the door surprised to see it opening, a larger man furrowing his brows at the sight in front of him before you give him a relieved and pleading look. 

"Oh, thank God, hi honey. Alex, have you met my boyfriend?” 

Tilting his head in confusion, Seungcheol looks between you and the man holding your arm before he sees the desperation on your face. You were in some sort of distress. He knew you lived in the building; in fact, you were his neighbor, though he hadn’t had much of a chance to speak to you yet. Seungcheol knew he could say he didn’t know you, go on his way, staying out of your business, but something about you and what was happening told him he needed to play along. Extending his hand towards the one around your arm, Seungcheol gives the man a tight warning smile. 

“Hey man, I’m Seungcheol.” 

You feel Alex’s hand slide from your arm, his brows furrowing at the new information. Watching the two men, you feel your heart in your throat as they shake hands and the man named Seungcheol moves closer to you with a smile, looking at you expectantly.

“It was great to meet you Alex, but uh...” Clearing his throat, Seungcheol tries to think about how to get you out of this without making you uncomfortable. Shrugging, he sighs and just goes for it. “I was just coming to see why you had been gone for so long. Dinner is ready.” 

Your cheeks burn as Alex stares at you, his eyes narrowing. You can tell he is almost looking for holes in your and Seungcheol’s story, but when you smile and Seungcheol puts his arm around your shoulders, Alex rolls his eyes. You weren’t sure if he actually bought the entire story on the spot, but it had been enough to get him to put his hands in his pockets and for him to back up, muttering. 

“I’ll see you at work, Y/N.” 

Offering your ex a strained smile, you lean into Seungcheol until Alex is out of sight. Taking a deep breath, you feel the pressure of being around him lift off of you before you glance up at Seungcheol and give him an apologetic look. Moving his arm, Seungcheol chuckles and shakes his head, turning back towards the door and using his keyfob to open it for you, letting you slip by him. 

“Uh…thank you. Seriously. I’m so fucking sorry to drag you into that.” 

Leaning against the metal doorframe, Seungcheol just smiles and shrugs. His eyes stay on yours as you walk backwards for a few steps towards the elevator. 

“My pleasure, honey. Have a good evening.” 

You can’t help the smile that spreads across your lips when the handsome man teases you. Backing into the elevator door, you laugh and shake your head, turning to press the button before glancing back to look at Seungcheol, still watching you for a moment before he waves and lets the door shut, leaving you alone. 

Finally, in the elevator, you can take a breath as you lean against the wall. With each soft ding of the elevator as it climbs the floors, you chew at your lips and laugh under your breath at how the exchange between you and Seungcheol has ended. It was silly for you to feel so smitten by someone who had just helped you out of a hard situation, but god had he been attractive. 

Walking towards your apartment, you sigh, taking your key out of your pocket as you glance to the door next to yours. Your brows furrow as you remember the first few days when you had moved into the apartment complex and you had met your neighbor in passing. He had been nice, asked you if you needed any help, but most of all, he had been attractive. Feeling your heart sink into your stomach, you picture the face of the man who had asked if you needed help moving boxes and it’s the same face that had pretended to be your boyfriend. 

“Sara!” 

Jutting your hip to the side, you barely manage to let one of your students run by you as he heads straight for a friend. Smiling at the interaction, you don’t notice the boy's father trailing behind him, a small backpack in his hands. 

“Matthew… You need to apologize to your teacher. I know you are excited, but still watch where you are going.” 

Shaking your head, you start to turn around towards the somewhat familiar voice when the small boy pouts up at you. He is so cute that you can’t stop yourself from squatting down to his level to smile at him and adjust his small tie on his uniform. 

“‘M sorry, teacher. I haven’t seen Sara all summer. Daddy wouldn’t let me stay at her house because I’m a boy.” 

You find yourself nodding along with his words, sympathizing with him until you can’t help the small laugh that slips from your lips. 

“It’s okay, Matthew. There will be plenty of time to play with Sara at school. Cut your daddy some slack, okay?” 

Ushering him along, you watch him for a moment longer, half turning towards the boy's father but still not quite looking at him. You have a habit of watching your students more than you do their parents, it would only take a second for a five year old to find trouble. 

“Don’t worry about Matthew. No harm done.” 

Seungcheol grins at you as you watch the kids so diligently. He had no idea that you were his son’s teacher; this was a happy surprise, or perhaps an awkward one. He hadn’t really made up his mind yet. It isn’t until you finally glance at him and your mouth falls open in confusion that Seungcheol presses his lips together and winces at your reaction. 

“Didn’t know your boyfriend had a kid, huh? Is that a deal breaker?” 

You can feel your cheeks burning at Seungcheol’s joke, but your eyes quickly move over him before you give yourself something else to do by reaching for Matthew’s bag. It was better if you kept yourself busy and just did your job. Laughing a bit awkwardly, you meet Seungcheol’s eyes and bite at your lip out of nerves as he lets you take the bag and you move to the small wooden cubbies to find Matthew’s name. 

“Uh… I will be honest, I didn’t. I’m sorry again, by the way. Even more so now. I swear to you, I’m not a complete mess; I’m a good teacher.” 

Shaking his head, Seungcheol finds himself frowning when you seem to find the need to explain yourself and defend your position. He hadn’t meant to cause that reaction. 

“I—no… I’m sure you are. I’ve heard nothing but great things about you leading up to today. I apologize… that was rude of me. I was just trying to make a joke. Break the tension.” 

Feeling a pang of guilt at your reaction as Seungcheol frowns, you take a deep breath and shake your head. You didn’t want him to feel bad. It just wasn’t the most ideal situation to find yourself in with a parent. Running your fingers over your hair, you press your lips together and scrunch up your nose, drawing Seungcheol’s attention to it. He smiles, finding the expression on your face cute. You were cute. 

“No, no, I know. I’m sorry. I’ve only been here a couple years and this is my first year without working in someone else's classroom. I just don’t wanna mess up.” 

Seungcheol nodded, understanding the feeling—perhaps not in the same profession, but he had been there in his own way. Gesturing towards the kids, Matthew in particular, as your eyes once again move over the kids, more of them making their way in, he shrugs as he speaks. 

“With how you have been watching them... I don’t think we have a single thing to worry about.” 

He finds himself wanting to stay, if not just to talk to you but also to Matthew. It was his first day of big boy school, and even if Matthew looked like he was doing just fine with the adjustment, Seungcheol couldn’t say the same for himself. One glance at his wrist, seeing how much time he had spent standing in the classroom, however, makes Seungcheol sigh and run his fingers through his brown hair. 

“I gotta go. I should get out of the way anyway. Matthew…” 

Hearing his name, the small boy perks up and looks towards his dad with a grin before making his way over. Ruffling his hair, Seungcheol practically pouts, making your heart feel heavy. This part was hard, even for you. You didn’t have children of your own, but the sentiment was still there when you watched loving parents leave their children for the day. 

“I love you. Please be good. Learn somethin’?” 

Giggling, Matthew leans into his dad’s touch and rocks on the balls of his feet as you take a step away to give them a moment to themselves. 

“Love you too. I’m so smart, Daddy. Teacher will be suppised!” 

Rolling his eyes at how cocky his son sounds, Seungcheol groans under his breath and looks at his watch again. 

“Yeah, alright, it's 'surprised’ and stay away from Uncle Jeonghan. Learn some humility.” 

“I don’t know what that means, Daddy.” 

Your small laugh draws Seungcheol’s attention and makes him grin as he ushers Matthew towards you. 

“I bet Miss Y/N knows and she will let me know if you’ve put it into practice when I pick you up after school.” 

Winking at you, Seungcheol turns to head out the door, glancing over his shoulder to wave at you as he goes. Looking down at the small boy with an expectant look in his eye, you bite at your lip and try to think about how you are going to explain humility and modesty to a five year old on a Monday morning. 

“That’s so good!” 

You clap as you watch a few of your kids preen with pride after counting to ten. They had been working hard after recess and a snack. It had been a good first day and you were proud of each and every one of them, even if you couldn’t help how your eye kept going to Matthew. He was so cute—not that all the kids in your class weren’t; there was just something about his gummy smile that reminded you so much of his dad. 

Looking up at the clock as the bell rings, you quickly look back at the kids, who mostly look confused until the door opens and parents start to file in. 

“Hey! Everybody… I know you want to see your parents, but let’s remember to grab our bags. Cubbies first, please!” 

You watch as most of the kids listen to you, moving in small lines to the wooden cubbies to grab their jackets and bags before finding their parents and heading out the door. Bending to pick up a few toys, you furrow your brows when you hear your name. It’s said by a small, familiar voice—Matthew, who pouts at you when you finally meet his eyes. He looks around, seeing most of the room clearing out, but his dad is nowhere to be found. 

“Hey, what’s up? Maybe your daddy is running late. Maybe mommy is coming?” 

Shaking his head, Matthew gives you a confused look as he tugs at the bag on his shoulder. 

“I don’t have a mommy. Can you call my daddy?” 

Feeling a pang of guilt at mentioning his mother, you squat down to Matthew’s level so he doesn’t have to tilt his head back to look up at you anymore. You knew you could call Seungcheol if you needed to, but school had just ended. Maybe you could give him a few more minutes. Reaching for Matthew’s bag, you sigh and offer the boy a smile, watching him match it with that cute gummy grin. 

“How about we give him a few more minutes and if he doesn’t come, we can call him? You can pick any book you want and I’ll read it to you.” 

The idea of choosing any book in the room is enough to make Matthew okay with your terms. Wiggling out of his bag, he goes to the shelf, looking over the book covers as you stand and put his bag on the table with your purse. Checking the clock, your brows furrow with a sigh. It wasn’t that late and you were sure this wouldn’t be the last child you would be waiting for. 

Cursing under his breath, Seungcheol looks at his watch as he speed walks through the school halls towards your classroom. He was over 30 minutes late and he was sure you were upset with him. He should have called but he was more concerned with trying to get to the school in one piece. 

Reaching the door, he starts to speak when he hears your soft voice and for some reason, it makes him stop in his tracks. He sees Matthew sitting in your lap as he rests back against your chest, a book in your hands. You smile as you read the book, trying to come up with a voice for each character, making his son laugh. Seungcheol almost feels bad for interrupting the moment, but then he feels bad again for leaving you here at work with Matthew for so long. 

“Y/N…”

Lifting your head, hearing your name, you smile at Seungcheol, feeling Matthew slip off your lap and run towards the door. You were definitely second best, but that was completely fair. Seungcheol holds the back of Matthew’s head as the boy wraps his arms around his legs and pouts up at him, asking him where he’s been. 

“I got caught up at work; I’m so so sorry. It won’t happen again.” 

Moving towards the table, you pick up Matthew’s bag as you shake your head. 

“It’s no problem. It happens. Maybe you could just text me to let me know if you are gonna be late?” 

Nodding, Seungcheol lets out a breath, lifting his hand to rub at the back of his neck. You were right. 

“No… yeah, absolutely. I’ll make it up—” 

“Oh! Hey… Seungcheol, right?” 

Your smile fades hearing Alex’s voice as you watch Seungcheol’s brows furrow in confusion. Moving quicker towards the door, to hand Seungcheol Matthew’s bag and get his attention, but his eyes move to your ex. 

“I—yeah… I gotta get Matthew home.” 

Looking towards you as if asking for an explanation, Seungcheol takes the bag from your hand while ushering his son out the door. You try to let him go, gesturing towards the hall, when Alex scoffs and gives him a once over muttering under his breath. 

“Seriously, Y/N? A parent...” 

Swallowing hard, you feel your chest tighten when Seungcheol stops in his tracks. You wouldn’t blame him if he told Alex it was all bullshit right there. It would be smart of you to do it, he wasn’t going to let it go either way. Starting to speak, you stop when Seungcheol is quicker, keeping his voice low as he smirks at Alex. 

“Is there a policy against that, Alex?” Glancing at you, Seungcheol reaches out to grab your hand, squeezing it lightly, winking at you before dropping it. “See you later, Y/N.” 

Your cheeks burn as you watch Seungcheol walk down the hall with Matthew. The young boy glancing back to smile at you curiously before looking up at his dad and saying something you can’t make out. Beside you, Alex’s jaw tightens as he watches you keep your eyes on the man leaving. What he wouldn’t give for you to look at him like that again. 

“There should be a policy against it…” 

Shooting him a look, you turn towards your classroom, your hand on the doorframe as you speak. 

"Well, there isn’t, Alex, but there is one about harassment. Leave me alone.” 

You watch his mouth open and close a couple of times as you close the door in his face, leaving you in peaceful silence to wrap your mind around what had just happened.

Wiping sweat from your brow, you glance around your living room at the boxes that had once been piled up in a corner. It had been difficult to tell if you were moving in or out, but as you broke down, one last box signified that you had officially settled in. It had only taken you months to do it, and for some reason this Saturday felt like the right moment; everything was feeling like home in this apartment for once. 

Grabbing as many of the boxes as you can, you let out a groan at how many trips you are going to have to take as you make your way to your front door and push it open with your shoulder. Cursing under your breath to the sound of your keys hitting the floor at your feet, you try to lean down without putting down the boxes when a hand brushes over your fingers, taking your keys from you. Before you are able to say anything, your eyes meet Seungcheol's, and your lips pull up into a shy smile. 

“Your hands seemed full.” 

Nodding as you take the keys and slip them into your back pocket, you don’t notice Seungcheol glancing into your apartment, seeing the pile of boxes. It isn’t until he clears his throat, gesturing inside, that you tilt your head curiously.

“Want me to help with the rest? I think we can get them all down to the bin in one go.” 

Your first instinct is to tell him no, that you don’t want to bother him, but there is a look in his eye that you don’t want to turn him away. So you step out into the hall and smile at Seungcheol instead. 

“I mean, if you are really offering.” 

Laughing, Seungcheol nods and slides past you, glancing around your apartment with a grin before he leans down to pick up the larger pile of boxes, heading back towards you. 

“It’s not a big deal, Y/N. I was hoping to talk to you today anyway.” 

Moving through the hall with Seungcheol at your side, you use your elbow to press the elevator button, your head once again tilting to the side, almost like a puppy hearing a new word as you listen to him speak. He wanted to talk to you. You try to think of the reason, but only one comes to mind.  

“Is it about Matthew?” 

Pursing his lips briefly, Seungcheol quickly smiles at your assumption and nods to cover up any doubt. You weren’t wrong in thinking he would want to talk about his son. You were his teacher, it was only fair that he would be the topic of normal conversation. 

“Mmm, he loves school. I think you are the main reason.” 

Shaking your head, you step off the elevator and head for the main doors out of the apartment building with Seungcheol in tow. When you stop to lean your boxes against the wall, opening the door for him, Seungcheol smiles at you as he moves through the door, only to stop and hold it open for you with his foot. 

“Thanks, but no... I think it’s his friends. He loves hanging out with Sara.” 

Seungcheol lets the door close behind you before trailing along at your side as he shakes his head. He knew how much his son liked his friends, but there was something different about Matthew since he had started school. 

“It’s more than that. He’s eager to get there. He can see Sara anytime, and that doesn't have to be at school. He wants to get to Miss Y/N’s class.” 

Feeling your cheeks heat up, your lips pull up into a smile that you are unable to hide even as you look down. It was one thing to be told you were good at your job; it was another to hear that a student wanted to go to school because of your class. It was everything a teacher wanted to hear. 

Watching Seungcheol push his boxes into the bin, you run your fingers along the underside of one of the boxes still in your hands. You weren’t sure if he even understood the gift he had given you while helping you with a mundane task that you had been dreading. Glancing down, you take a deep breath, hoping the butterflies in your stomach will calm down when Seungcheol’s voice brings you back to reality. 

“Here, let me put these in there too.” 

Meeting his eyes, you swallow hard, feeling his fingers glide over yours as Seungcheol takes the boxes from your hands. When you glance away with a small smile on your lips, he takes notice. Pushing the rest of the boxes into the bin, Seungcheol bites at his lip, trying to choose his words carefully, before he turns back to you and scratches at his brow. 

“Anything else to throw away? Is what’s his name lingering around? I can toss him in too.” 

Feeling your cheeks burn, you scoff into a laugh as Seungcheol moves back to your side. Walking in tandem towards the building, you glance up at him, shaking your head as he laughs, along with you leaning to knock your arm with his to let you know he is joking. 

“Alex… and thankfully he isn’t. God, I am so sorry about all of that. I shouldn’t have gotten you involved to begin with.” 

Shaking his head, Seungcheol purses his lips, watching you take your keys out to tap your fob against the reader, letting him open the door for you. 

“It’s not a big deal. You seemed really uncomfortable. I was happy to help… I mean, I still am. He strikes me as the type to not give up easily.” 

Scoffing once again, you follow Seungcheol to the elevator, leaning against the wall as you meet his eyes. That was an understatement. If he was able to tell from just a couple of meetings with your ex, that should say plenty about Alex’s character. You find yourself allowing your eyes to move over Seungcheol’s face, his handsome eyes, and his plump lips before you sigh and look down at your hands as the elevator steadily climbs the floors. 

“He’s not. He thinks that’s a redeeming quality.” Sighing into your words, you push off the wall as the doors open, stepping out into the hall as Seungcheol follows you. “But he’d be wrong. I couldn’t ask you to help me anymore. You’ve done so much.” 

Offering Seungcheol a smile, you walk backwards for a moment as he tilts his head, his own smile lifting at one side as his eyes move over you. You were so cute; he knew it was dangerous this game he was playing. He wanted to get close to you and he knew there were better ways, this had just been the one that had been presented to him. 

“You didn’t ask. I’m offering… Speaking of, you busy this evening?” 

Shaking your head, you slide your keys from your pocket as you watch Seungcheol lean against his door. You can’t help but notice the way your eyes once again move over him. He was possibly the most handsome man you had ever seen and also the most unattainable. You needed to remember who he was and the boundary that was set, even if it was blurred. 

“Mm, no. Why? Need some help with Matthew?” 

Seungcheol sighs into a laugh. It wasn’t unfair that you’d assume he wanted to ask you something involving his kid, but he just smiles as you look at him curiously, as if realizing for the first time that Matthew isn’t around. 

“Oh… no. He’s with my parents this weekend. I was gonna ask if you wanted to come over for dinner?” 

Your brows furrow at Seungcheol’s question. That boundary was getting even more blurred as you considered his question and he seemed to see you struggle before he laughed and bit his lips before speaking up again. 

“We can talk about how to pretend to be a good fake couple. You know, for appearances sake. Maybe get Alex to get a life.” 

While Seungcheol’s explanation wasn’t entirely convincing, you smiled and nodded. In truth, you didn’t want to turn down the dinner invitation. You didn’t want to tell Seungcheol no and that you didn’t want to spend more time with him, even if Matthew wasn’t involved. It was a dangerous line you were walking. 

“Great! Uh… around 6?” 

At 5:55 you were considering texting Seungcheol to tell him that you had suddenly come down with the flu. Your anxiety was causing your heart to rise into your throat as you tugged at your shirt, trying to make sure you looked decent. 

With your hand hovering over the door, you whine to yourself before knocking lightly at Seungcheol’s door and waiting. Maybe he would make it easier on you and just not answer the door, but then the idea of that makes you frown. You hate the idea of not being able to spend the evening with Seungcheol. Even the idea of something disrupting it causes disappointment to bubble in your stomach until the door opens and you are met with his handsome face and a gummy smile that matches your favorite one of Matthew’s. 

“Hey, you look—uh… I mean, you look pretty. Come in.” 

Seungcheol stumbles over his words, the flush of his cheeks evident as he shakes his head, trying to keep his head and not overstep with you. He knew where he stood and where he wanted this to go, but you had made yourself pretty clear the first day in your classroom. You were his son’s teacher and now this situation... It was odd. Seungcheol was just happy to at least have you in his life as a friend, if not more. 

Swallowing hard, you look down to hide your smile as Seungcheol compliments you. You weren’t sure how to react, so instead you pressed your lips together and gestured outward to his apartment. 

“Your place is so nice.” 

Shrugging, Seungcheol leads you towards the open kitchen and living room area where, the dinner, he has been working on bubbles quietly on the stove. You watch him adjust the temperature and stir a sauce as he sighs, tilting his head. 

“It’s a mess. I should have cleaned up more. I don’t usually have company besides a few friends, but they are used to Matthew’s shit laying around. Here, do you like this?” 

Holding the wooden spoon out towards you over the bar, Seungcheol watches as you blink at him a couple times before leaning forward to take a bit of the sauce off the spoon. It is savory and delicious as it hits your tongue and the back of your throat. Closing your eyes, you nod and lift your fingers to brush them over your lips as he watches you with a smile on his face at your reaction. 

“It’s delicious, Seungcheol.” 

Turning down the heat even more, Seungcheol moves to the sink to strain another larger pot as you watch him closely. His voice is calm and soothing. Everything about him makes you feel almost instantly comfortable in a space where you thought you’d want to hide under the table without a reason to truly be there. 

“I don’t know if it’s all that great. You are being nice, but this is my go to for dinner. Matthew likes pasta and I’m halfway decent at it. So I hope you actually like it.” 

Licking your lips, you lift your hand to cover your smile as you watch Seungcheol putting the finishing touches on dinner. He moves with ease, his eyes catching yours every once in a while, making your skin erupt in chillbumps as you glance away shyly. You could feel yourself getting too comfortable around him if you were to let your guard down, and that was all your body was telling you to do. 

“Mind to grab a couple of those wine glasses?” 

Glancing to your right, you shake your head gently before collecting two of the fragile glasses as Seungcheol moves past you towards the table. You hear your stomach growl as the smell of the pasta and garlic bread greets your nose when you get close enough to set the glasses down. Smiling, Seungcheol sneaks a look in your direction, watching your brows furrow and your lips turn down in embarrassment as he hears the grumble coming from your stomach. 

“I—sorry. I didn’t eat lunch.” 

Shaking his head, he picks up the bottle of wine, twisting the opener into the cork as he takes a breath to cover a small laugh. Seungcheol swore he could feel the effects of the alcohol before even taking a sip, with you standing so close to him and with how sweet you were. He knew this was a dangerous arrangement. Not that either of you would be doing anything wrong, but as the moments ticked by, it was getting difficult not to give into lingering glances. 

“You have nothing to apologize for. Except perhaps to yourself. You need to eat regularly, Y/N.” 

Groaning playfully, you hold the glasses steady, allowing Seungcheol to easily pour wine into each before he moves your chair, letting you sit down first. You can feel your cheeks flush up into your ears. The sound of blood rushing to your head has your hand reaching for your wine, bringing the glass to your lips to take a sip of the liquid courage as Seungcheol lifts your plate, putting pasta on it with an appreciative hum. 

“Thank you. I promise, I’m usually better about eating... and I always make sure the kids eat their lunch and snacks at school. So don’t think my own behavior somehow reflects—” 

Moving his hand from the serving fork, Seungcheol slides it over yours, meeting your eyes as you start to ramble. You were spiraling and there was no reason for it. 

“Hey… I know you are a good teacher. I don’t worry a single moment in the day about Matthew’s wellbeing when I know he’s with you. Don’t worry about that.” 

Taking a deep breath, you flex your fingers under Seungcheol’s palm, feeling his hands wrap around yours as his brows furrow. You can see the look in his eye and how he’s searching to make sure you understand what he’s told you, so you nod. Even if you didn’t completely feel adequate, you needed Seungcheol to let go of your hand before you fainted into his floor or made a run for the door. 

“Mmkay… I–mm…” Smiling, trying to compose yourself, you watch Seungcheol’s hand move from yours to his wine, making you feel like you can take a breath. “The wine is very good. Thank you for inviting me to eat.” 

Letting the wine glide over his tongue, Seungcheol smiles against the glass. He had noticed that you were starting to panic, but so was he. It hadn’t been his intention, but the alternative was you feeling like you weren’t good enough and that just wouldn’t work for him. Gesturing towards your plate, Seungcheol clears his throat and tilts his head before picking up his own fork. 

“Thank you for eating with me. I’m a sad, lonely sap when Matthew is gone on weekends. You saved me from boredom.” 

You weren’t sure how truthful Seungcheol was being but his words made you feel warm and they made you settle into your chair. They gave you a purpose to be there and not rush. You didn’t want him to be lonely. You suddenly realized how quiet it was in the apartment. You were used to that in yours but you could also sometimes hear Seungcheol and Matthew through the walls and they always sounded happy together. Of course, a weekend alone might be lonely for him. 

Two glasses of wine down and after refusing another helping of pasta, you felt even more relaxed around Seungcheol. He was funny and warm. You understood even more about Matthew after spending time with his dad. They were like a mirror image of one another and as much as you adored Matthew, you could see yourself feeling that way about Seungcheol as the night carried on. 

Soon you found yourself on his couch, another glass of wine in your hand as you pulled your legs up under you. Seungcheol grinned at you as you told him about going through your first year of assistant teaching. He could tell that you had a passion for your career and it was just one of the many things he was starting to love about you. This was becoming one of the easiest and equally difficult evenings of his night. While he loved talking to you and being close to you, he couldn’t help as his eyes moved over your pretty face and along your neck as he pictured getting closer to you and seeing if you’d let him touch you. Instead, he kept his respectful distance and admired you. 

Watching Seungcheol stand up to grab another bottle of wine, you tilt your head, letting your eyes move along his fit frame. You weren’t blind. You were a woman, you had needs, and god, if your body wasn’t screaming at you that you were an idiot for not trying to get closer to the man who had been smiling at you for the past few hours. You were simultaneously enraptured by him and terrified of him. You could see yourself falling for him and it would be hard and messy. It couldn’t end well, because the first person you saw in your mind was Matthew. 

Looking back around the room to pull your mind back to the present, despite the euphoric cloud of alcohol, you smile seeing the pictures of the boy on the wall. There were so many, from the time he was an infant to now. You could see pictures of Seungcheol and Matthew with others as well. A woman who you assumed was Matthew’s mother and some men who looked to be around Seungcheol’s age, perhaps brothers. A wave of longing hits you and you rest your head on your arm, a frown on your face as you keep looking around, finally noticing the degrees on the furthest wall. 

Narrowing your eyes, you struggle to make out the words, finally sitting up and leaning forward to read as Seungcheol moves back to the couch with a sigh. Reaching for your glass, the man says something you don’t pay attention to as he tries to hand you the glass. 

“Y/N? Is white wine okay?” 

Blinking a couple of times, you meet Seungcheol’s eyes and look at the glass in his hand with a clueless look on your face. A smile spreads over his face. He tilts his head and lets you take the glass from him as you gesture towards the wall with your other hand. 

“You—wait… You’re a doctor?” 

You weren’t sure what you had assumed Seungcheol did for a living, but a doctor hadn’t been on your bingo card. Looking around the room as you feel reality setting in, you can see that things make a bit more sense. The furniture was really nice. The wine was delicious and tasted expensive. Seungcheol, even in lounge wear, looked expensive. 

Shrugging, Seungcheol purses his lips as he takes a sip of the wine from the glass in his hand as he looks at his medical degree on the wall. He hadn’t really considered that you didn’t know or that it would matter. Meeting your eyes once again, he sighs and leans back against the back of the couch, getting comfortable. 

“Mmhm, family medicine. I have a small private practice in the city and a couple days a week I work out of the hospital in the emergency room. Are you that surprised? Do I not look smart enough to be a doctor or something?” 

Sitting up, you shake your head so fast Seungcheol is afraid you might get whiplash. Reaching forward as he laughs, he runs his fingers over your arm as you lift your glass to your lips, finally taking another sip to calm your nerves before explaining your apparent shock. 

“No…No—of course you are smart. You just don’t look like a doctor. I didn’t expect you to be... you know.” 

When you don’t elaborate, Seungcheol laughs as he leans to put his glass on a coaster on the end table. You take another larger sip of your wine as your eyes fall to the fingers of his other hand as they rest against your forearm and the couch. It isn’t lost on you, no matter how tipsy you might be or how much you enjoy his fingers on your skin. 

“I don’t know. Tell me. You can tell me anything.” 

That was a very dangerous thing to say to you and Seungcheol seemed to know it as he watched you snort into a laugh. Giving you the smile that you had grown to love so much, he bites at his lip and leans forward slightly, listening to the laugh fade as your eyes focus on him. 

“Seriously, tell me what you mean.” 

There was a lump in your throat and wine wasn’t going to get it to go down. You weren’t sure anything could. No matter how much you swallowed or cleared your throat, it was only when you glanced down at your wine that you were able to feel the pressure subside enough that you could talk. 

“I—you know what I mean, Seungcheol. The whole package, I guess.” 

Shaking his head again, Seungcheol sighs out a laugh, wishing he could just get you to say what you mean instead of this game where you beat around the bush. 

“Package? Like from Amazon? What are we talking about here, Y/N? Help me out.” 

He was frustrating in the most adorably clueless and teasing way. You had a feeling he knew what you were hinting at, even if he was trying to play dumb; he was a doctor after all. You had already insulted his intelligence once. Glancing up long enough to meet Seungcheol’s eyes, you take a deep breath and let it out with a sigh that sounds more like a laugh as you speak. 

“You’re incredibly attractive, a doctor, obviously successful, and a good dad. The whole package. I don’t think you can order that on Amazon.” 

Seungcheol bites at his lip after hearing you explain your words. It was better than he had anticipated. He felt bad for making you say it, he knew it had to be somewhat embarrassing, but he had to hear it. He might never hear it again, because at the end of the day, this wasn’t a real relationship. 

“Mm, well, that’s good for your boyfriend to know.”

Opening your mouth, you look confused but Seungcheol grins and picks up his wine, letting you off the hook as he takes a sip and continues. 

“You know, fake boyfriend.” 

A small, confused laugh slips from between your lips as you nod, trying to act like it is easy to understand and it all makes sense. You try to pretend like this is going to be easy and that him “helping” you keep up this ruse is a good idea, but who was it actually helping? 

“Right, my fake boyfriend. My fake doctor boyfriend.” 

Smirking, Seungcheol rolls his eyes and watches you finish off your glass of wine. He hated the word fake. Was it horrible of him to hope for a time when he could remove the word fake from his and your vocabulary? Yes, he knew it was. So he just takes a deep breath and points at your wine glass. 

“More wine, fake girlfriend?” 

Your laugh is so pretty, it almost breaks Seungcheol’s heart. He watches your head tilt back and his eyes move along your neck and back up to your face as you sigh. It’s when you glance at the clock on the wall and pout that he matches the pout, knowing what you are going to say. 

“It’s so late. I should go home.” 

Two in the morning. That was much later than you had intended on staying, but the look on Seungcheol’s face made you almost reluctant to get up. You were tired, the wine was doing a great job at aiding that fact, but it didn’t lessen that pout on his handsome face. You watch as he nods, a soft sigh escaping between his lips before he takes your empty glass and stands up. 

“Thank you again for coming over. I really did enjoy it. Maybe we can do this again sometime.” 

Your eyes follow Seungcheol into the kitchen as he puts the wine glasses into the sink. When he glances over his shoulder at you, giving you a hopeful look you can’t disappoint him even if your brain is screaming about how much this is going to hurt you. 

“Absolutely.” 

“That’s all you did?” 

Groaning at Jeonghan’s tone in his question, Seungcheol pushes a plate of leftover pasta across the kitchen island towards him and Jihoon. Lifting his hands, he gives his best friend an incredulous look before stabbing at his own food with a pout on his face. 

“What did you expect him to do, Jeonghan? Jump her the first chance he gets.” 

Jihoon rolls his eyes as he shoves a fork full of pasta into his mouth, talking between bites. Out of the two men, in his own opinion, he had the most level head in this situation. He understood why Seungcheol had let you go home and why he hadn’t made a move. Jeonghan, on the other hand, stared at his friend as if he had two heads and was growing another. 

“I expect him to grow some fucking balls. You deserve some happiness, Cheol. You have this hot little teacher next door that you won’t shut up about; she comes over, and that’s—that’s it!” 

Jeonghan made it seem like he had committed a crime by respecting you and your position as his teacher. Not that the two of you had exclusively said you didn’t want to actually explore things, but it was an unspoken thing. Seungcheol wasn’t an idiot. He didn’t get through medical school on a wish and a prayer. 

“I’m helping her with her stupid douche of an ex. It would be wrong of me to actually make a move. Plus, it would be weird for Matthew.” 

Finally swallowing a bite of his food, Jeonghan scoffs around the pasta at Seungcheol’s half ass attempt at an excuse. In his mind, it didn’t make any sense and he was grasping at straws. He had seen his best friend fall for someone before and he didn’t want to see him lose that chance because he was scared. 

“Bullshit, it would be weird for Matthew. He already talks about Miss Y/N all the damn time. He likes her more than he likes me at this point. It’s offensive…” 

Chuckling, Jihoon gets a harsh side eye from Jeonghan that he matches with one of his own. 

“I think it’s hilarious and I think that you need to stop riding Cheol’s ass. If he wants to ask her out, he’ll do it. If not—” 

“He’ll die alone and pouting.” 

Dropping his fork into his plate, Seungcheol lifts his hand to push at his temples as his friends continue to talk about him as if he isn’t even in the room. Both of them had good points and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, Jeonghan had some of the better ones. He knew he was being a wimp when it came to you, but he wasn’t ready to bet and lose. 

Noticing that Seungcheol had gone quiet, Jeonghan turned his attention back to him, letting out a sigh as Jihoon did the same. Neither of them liked the look on his face. They had been friends with him for over a decade and been through a majority of the highs and the lows. They had been there for the best of his life so far and the day that he thought his own had ended because hers had. 

Rubbing his thumb into his palm as he thinks about what to say next, Jihoon furrows his brows deeply. For a moment, he looks annoyed, but that’s because he is. He’s annoyed that he’s going to agree with Yoon Jeonghan for the first time in a long time. Sighing in a groan, the man leans forward and taps his fingers on the island as he tries to make his point. 

“Listen, I’m not saying I completely agree with Jeonghan—”

“But clearly, he agrees—” 

Shooting a look at the man, Jihoon watches a smirk pull up at Jeonghan’s lips as he stops talking, letting him continue. 

“But... even I can admit that something is going on in your head, Cheol. I’m not going to push you as hard as him, but don’t let it slip through your fingers because of the unknown.” 

That was what terrified him. The unknown. You could reject him completely. He could look like a fool. You could accept him and fall in love with him. Then he might lose you. There was so much unknown. The unknown had ruined his life before and only the people closest to him and his son had kept him from drowning. 

“What if it doesn’t work out?” 

Nodding, Jeonghan lifts his hands off the island and takes a deep breath, letting it out as he meets Seungcheol’s eyes to answer his question. 

“And what if it does?” 

Forcing a smile on your face after a long day, you stand up as the bell rings and parents start to move into the room to collect their children. Taking your time, you note each one, telling them to have a good evening and that you will see them in the morning. 

It wasn’t that you hadn’t enjoyed your day, but you could feel a headache behind your eyes and fifteen screaming five year olds was a lot for anyone. So as the numbers started to dwindle, you could feel the anxiety starting to fade from you. 

“Hey, buddy!” 

Glancing up as Matthew squeals happily, you watch him run towards a slender but fit man that you vaguely recognize. Perhaps he had been on Seungcheol’s walls in one of the pictures, but you didn’t have a name to put—

“Uncle Jeonghan!”

Ah, so this was Uncle Jeonghan that Matthew talked about so much. Picking up your clipboard, you furrow your brows, moving over to him and the man as you quickly make sure the man’s name is listed as someone authorized to pick up. 

“Have a good day? This must be Miss Y/N that your daddy talks about all the time.” 

Lifting your head from the clipboard, you meet the man’s eyes as your cheeks start to burn. Opening your mouth, you close it quickly as he smirks at you and ruffles the boy's head as he clings close to him. 

“I—Yoon Jeonghan? If you could just sign for Matthew, since you're not his legal guardian and only listed as an authorized person, it’s policy.” 

Taking the clipboard from you, Jeonghan grins as you seem to shy away at his words. He could see the appeal. You were beautiful and seemed responsible. You were exactly Seungcheol’s type. 

“No problem; Y/N. Cheol had to work in the ER today so here I am to save the day. I honestly don’t know why he didn’t just ask you to bring him home.” 

Scoffing in surprise, you watch as Matthew gasps and looks up at you like a new toy. 

“That’d be so cool! Miss Y/N, can you one day? I can show you my toys.” 

Not wanting to disappoint the boy, you give him a strained smile and meet Jeonghan’s eyes, realizing he was an enabler. Seungcheol should have warned you about him, but maybe he didn’t even realize how your first meeting with him would go. 

“Maybe… I’m your teacher, Matthew. We play at school—” 

“Well and his neighbor and his daddy’s girl—” 

Shaking your head, you watch as Jeonghan bites his lip to stifle a laugh before nodding and holding up his free hand as a way of surrendering. Apparently Seungcheol had shared some details of your “relationship” with his friend. You wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out, but you had a feeling this man was the type to pull you out and back into the spotlight. 

“Maybe one day, Matthew... but let’s not get our hopes up.” 

Pouting up at you, Matthew just nods and moves away from you both to go get his things. Letting out a breath, you take back your clipboard and put it down on a shelf behind you as you and Jeonghan glance towards the small boy as he pulls on his jacket. 

“He’d let you take him home.” 

Furrowing your brows, you glance over at Jeonghan and shift on your feet at his words and the implication behind them. Noticing how you seem to nervously shift from foot to foot, Jeonghan smirks and glances down at his phone in his hand, answering a text from Seungcheol as he speaks to you. 

“One day he’ll man up and ask you out for real. This fake dating shit—” 

“Don’t curse in my classroom, please.” 

A laugh slips from between his lips as he glances up from his phone to offer you an apologetic smile before nodding and continuing. 

“Sure, sorry. As I was saying, this fake dating nonsense you two have going on right now isn't going to work. I can already tell you like him.” 

Insufferable. That's how you’d describe Yoon Jeonghan. You had known him for less than ten minutes and already you knew he was going to be an issue in your life. Crossing your arms, you start to sigh into your words, a dramatic big breath, when Alex’s voice once again ruins your moment. 

“Matt, buddy, let me help.” 

Jeonghan watches as your head moves like prey sensing a predator towards the other teacher, who was now helping Matthew with his bag. His eyes move to his godson’s face as he grimaces as the man tugs on the straps, keeping them tight on his arms. 

“He’s fine, Mr. Alex. Thank you.” 

You still sounded like yourself, with that sweet tone to your voice, but even Jeonghan could hear the hint of malice behind it. So this was Alex, and now Alex thought it was okay to mess with Seungcheol’s son. The “fake” dating made sense. This man did not understand boundaries and used everything in front of him as an open door. 

Stepping in front of Alex, you smile at Matthew and the smile transfers to the boy’s face. Jeonghan feels relief wash over him at the sight as you kneel down, adjust the straps back to where they were and then tie his shoe properly. 

“I was just helping out a student, Miss Y/N.” 

Oof… There was so much tension in this room that even Jeonghan felt like he was going to drown in it. Stepping forward, he clears his throat and offers his hand towards Matthew, letting him take his fingers. 

“And while I’m sure she appreciates that, and the parents do... I don’t know you, Mr. Alex, was it? From where I was standing, some strange man was touching my godson, which honestly made me nervous for a moment. I’d be more careful; this isn’t your classroom.” 

Standing up, you feel your cheeks burn under Alex’s eyes as he looks to you to defend him, but you don’t. Jeonghan had a point. Not every parent or guardian knew who all the teachers were, not even the students knew the other teachers. Simple acts could be misunderstood and while he was doing something to “be nice” and it was innocent, you knew there was another reason he was inserting himself into your and Matthew’s lives. 

“Well, I do apologize for the misunderstanding. My classroom is right down the hall. I was just coming to see Miss Y/N. We are very close.” 

Jeonghan just smirks at the man and shoots you a glance before looking at his phone and seeing a reply from Seungcheol. 

“I’m sure you are.” Dismissing the man, he looks at you and smiles brightly. “Y/N, dear… Cheol asked me if you wouldn’t mind helping me with Matthew once you get home? I’m an awful cook.” 

Opening his mouth to say something, Alex stops when Matthew squeals with delight and grabs at your shirt, begging you to come over. 

Another point to you and Seungcheol. 

Staring at Seungcheol’s apartment door, you listen to the sound of Matthew’s laughter. While you knew why you had agreed to Jeonghan’s ridiculous plan, you weren’t sure why you were attempting to follow through with it. You could so easily just text Seungcheol and tell him that your evening got far too busy, and you wouldn’t be able to help Jeonghan out with Matthew, but suddenly it felt important to you. 

Jeonghan had been doing a good job, for the most part, at keeping Matthew distracted from asking when you were going to come over, but every few minutes the question kept coming up. He knew there was a slight chance you might bail on them, but he had a good feeling you wouldn’t, so he simply told Matthew, “she’ll be here soon,” each time he asked. So when you knocked on the door, a little after 6:30, Matthew squealed in delight and beat Jeonghan to it by a mile. 

“Miss Y/N! I’m so excited. I have coloring pages and my trucks to show you. Can we paint?” 

Shaking your head, you run your fingers over Matthew’s head with a sigh as you listen to Jeonghan chuckle under his breath a few feet away. It was clear to see that the little boy had you wrapped around his little finger. You weren’t supposed to have a favorite student, and maybe that wasn’t even what was happening here, but you adored Matthew. Him and his gummy smile. 

“Maybe? I’m supposed to help with dinner. What did your Uncle Jeonghan have in mind?” 

Giving you a once over in your more casual clothes, Jeonghan nods in approval before gesturing towards the kitchen as if you didn’t already know where it was. 

“Luckily for me, Cheol is a great father. He left a note that says, 'stuff for pizza in the fridge’, so it looks like it’s pizza, Teach.” 

Rolling your eyes, you let Matthew hold on to your waist as you make your way into the kitchen and glance at the note in question. 

“And you can’t make pizza on your own?” 

“Uncle Jeonghan burneded my chicken nuggets last week. Can you make me pizza, Miss Y/N?” 

Letting out a breath, you meet Matthew’s eyes before looking back up at Jeonghan, who grimaces at the mention of the chicken nuggets. Maybe it was a good thing that you were here if this man couldn’t even be trusted with the most simple of foods. 

It didn’t take long for the three of you to get into a comfortable rhythm. You quickly took over things in the kitchen, leaving Jeonghan to entertain Matthew, which in turn kept him from being under your feet. It wasn’t until you were putting the homemade pizza into the oven that the evening started to calm down and you were able to really look around you and feel your heart tightening. You wanted this. Not with Jeonghan, though he was starting to grow on you as a friend, but you wanted to be around Matthew more and to help with him. 

Feeling your cell phone vibrate in your back pocket, you wipe your hands off on a dish towel and slip it from your pocket only for a smile to pull at the corner of your lips. 

Seungcheol: I owe you big time 

Glancing towards the living room, you press your lips together watching Matthew and Jeonghan sitting at the coffee table with crayons covering most of the surface. Now that feeling of wanting this more often was even stronger as you thought about Seungcheol, wishing he was here… even though that felt wrong on some level. You shouldn’t want something with a parent of one of your students… there had to be something wrong about that, or at least Alex was good at making you feel like there was. 

Y/N: Don’t say that yet. Pizza isn’t out of the oven yet. I might burn it just as bad as Jeonghan.

Grinning as he leans against the wall of the break room, Seungcheol allows himself a moment to just enjoy the idea of you in his apartment. He knew he would be there in a few more hours, but picturing you with Matthew seemed so domestic. Jeonghan was right, as much as Seungcheol hated to admit it… he wanted more with you than some fake relationship. 

“What are you smiling at like that? It’s creepy…” 

Scoffing at Joshua Hong’s teasing words, Seungcheol quickly replies to you before clearing his throat and sliding his phone back into his coat pocket. He had never been good at “acting casual,” and most of his friends knew that, so this time was no different. 

“Nothing, why are you? You know, being nosy? Don’t you have a patient in Five?” 

Joshua smirks as he watches Seungcheol scratch his neck. He could see that his friend was nervous and that, paired with the stupid, love-sick smile he had been wearing, could only mean one thing. 

“I just discharged that patient. Are you simping that hard over some girl? Choi Seungcheol, are you fucking someon–” 

Lifting his hands, Seungcheol is quick to let out a panicked sound in order to stop Joshua from continuing. It was bad enough that he had to deal with Jeonghan on almost a daily basis. Dealing with both Jeonghan and Joshua, now that was a nightmare. 

“Shut up. I—no. No, I’m not fuck—I’m not sleeping with anyone. You spend too much time with Jeonghan if you are talking like that.” 

Joshua had never known Seungcheol to be so proper and flustered before, and honestly, it was pretty amusing to see him sweat over something as simple as a girl. 

“Hannie and I enjoy our quality time; thank you very much. Get the stick out of your ass and tell me what’s going on, or I’ll just have to ask him. I’m sure he knows.” 

The idea of Jeonghan being able to explain his love life, or the lack thereof, to anyone but especially to Joshua was a terrifying and humiliating thought. Shaking his head, Seungcheol groans and reaches for Joshua’s arm, stopping him from leaving the break room as he glances towards the clock to see how much time he has left on his break before he explains from the beginning. 

Seungcheol: Well burnt or not, can’t wait to get home and have a slice. See you in about an hour?

You had stared at your phone and Seungcheol’s text for a bit longer than you had meant to. When Jeonghan pursed his lips and glanced over your shoulder to see what had your attention so enraptured, you gasped, pulling the phone to your chest. 

“Sorry, I said your name a couple times, but you were staring at your phone like it was a bomb. I had to make sure you didn’t need help with it.” 

Furrowing your brows, you clear your throat and put your phone face down on the counter, turning towards the oven and leaning to glance at the pizza through the window. You were avoiding the topic, but Jeonghan wasn’t the one to just give up. 

“You set a timer, didn’t you? Should come out right in time for us to eat. You know, Matthew, me, you, and Cheol.” 

Glancing over your shoulder, you narrow your eyes at Jeonghan and straighten to your full height so that you feel a bit less small in front of him. 

“I wasn’t going to stay for dinner.” 

Tilting his head, Jeonghan starts to speak when Matthew whines and the sound of his little feet hitting the wood floor draws your attention. You get ready to explain to him that you need to go, that you have so much you have to do before bedtime, but one look down at him and the pout on his face... all excuses die on your tongue. 

“Please don’t go! Eat pizza with me. You said maybe to playing with trucks.” 

You watch as tears start to gather in Matthew’s eyes and it almost breaks your heart. Even Jeonghan feels a pang of guilt knowing he had pushed a little too hard, and he finds himself hoping you’ll stay as he looks at Matthew, his small shoulders lifting to take a breath, trying to keep himself from crying. 

Squatting in front of Matthew, you run your fingers over his cheeks and offer him a smile, happy to see his lips pull up even slightly in return. It was easier to say no at school. You knew you had authority and there was more to say no to. Children would get into trouble more often if you gave in, but here, what would you lose if you said yes? What harm could it really cause? 

“I—I’ll stay for dinner. I made really good pizza. I would hate to miss out on it or your trucks.” 

Wrapping his arms around your neck, Matthew grins as he giggles. He had known a lot of sadness in his short life, but his father and those around him had worked hard to show him even more joy. This was more joy. There was something special about you, and it wasn’t just that you were his teacher or that he liked you so much; it was more that you felt so warm and made him wonder what his mommy would have been like. Not that he would tell you that, at least not tonight. 

Patting Matthew’s back, you glance up at Jeonghan as he purses his lips, the look on his face a mixture of apologetic and appreciative. It takes a moment before you are finally able to pull away from the boy and meet his eyes, seeing a bit of wetness on his cheeks, but that big smile on his face remains even as you wipe the tears away. 

“The pizza has to cook for a bit longer. Wanna show me what you and Uncle Jeonghan were working on?” 

Letting out a deep breath as he walks through the door, Seungcheol finds the stress of his day quickly replaced by fondness. He knew you had decided to stay for dinner, but seeing you in his living room with Matthew for himself was a different story. Now he couldn’t help the smile that played on his lips even as Jeonghan watched him carefully, studying him for what seemed like a full minute before Seungcheol finally moved further into the house. 

“Thought you were going to stand in the hall all damn night.” 

Scoffing at Jeonghan’s words, Seungcheol shakes his head before meeting your eyes trying not to lose himself in your soft smile. You are so beautiful and it was becoming impossible for him to pretend like he didn’t like you, and that he didn’t want to see what this could be without some silly stipulations to your relationship. 

“How’s the evening been so far? Don’t I get a hug?” 

While his words were meant for Matthew, you still pressed your lips together feeling a slight urge to stand up and move into Seungcheol’s arms too. He looked incredible, even as tired as he was. You were having a hard time not staring at him, and Jeonghan was taking notes. 

“I think the uh—the pizza is cool enough to eat. So you have good timing.” 

Nodding to your words, Seungcheol squats down to hug Matthew. You watch fondly as he rocks the small boy back and forth a few times, causing him to let out a delighted sound before Seungcheol stands and runs his fingers through his hair. 

“Awesome, thank you again for helping, Y/N. I’ll… uh get changed and meet you guys at the table.” 

Swallowing hard, you nod as your eyes follow Seungcheol through the room until he is out of your line of sight. A small chuckle to your right pulls your attention back to the present and to Jeonghan, who simply lifts his brows and pats Matthew’s back, ushering him towards the dining room. 

“Pizza time, buddy. Too much ogling is going on in this room for my stomach to handle.”

Looking up at Jeonghan, Matthew tilts his head as he walks beside him, a look of confusion on his cute face. 

“What’s ohgling?” 

With a groan, you drop your head into your hands for a split second before moving to your feet and following along with the two just in time to hear Jeonghan explain how to say the word properly and that it means to look at someone for a long time because you like them. At least he had kept it PG.

“Can Miss Y/N tuck me in tonight?”

Matthew’s words make you stop what you are doing mid-bite. Jeonghan’s smirk only grows as Seungcheol tilts his head, looking at his son and over to you as you give both of them a deer stuck in headlights look. The evening had gotten exponentially more interesting since Seungcheol had gotten home. You two weren’t fooling anyone, at least as far as Jeonghan was concerned, and this was the cherry on top. 

“I–well… That’s up to Miss Y/N.” 

Meeting your eyes, Seungcheol looks a bit worried that you might say no. He wouldn’t fault you if you did, but he hated the idea of his son being disappointed. You could see the look and it was so very similar to the look in Matthew’s eye that your stomach was in your throat. Why were these two so impossible for you to refuse? 

“I don’t mind.” 

Clapping his hands together, Jeonghan gives you both a wide smile before pushing his chair back from the table and wiping at his lips. 

“Great, now that’s settled, means I can get headed home. Thank you for the lovely dinner, Y/N. Please invite me again.” 

Following Jeonghan, Seungcheol gives you an apologetic look as you start to speak but can’t seem to find the right words to defend yourself. While you had grown used to his teasing over the past few hours, it didn’t make it any easier to handle in front of Seungcheol and Matthew. You could feel heat rising in your neck and face as you turned your attention back towards Matthew as he grabbed your hand and tried to tug you out of your seat. 

“Come on! I gotta show you my room and my trucks. Daddy says they are the most coolest.” 

You were lucky to have such a sweet distraction, just two of your fingers in his small hand as Matthew led you down the hall and away from the embarrassment of Yoon Jeonghan’s words. After watching you and Matthew for a moment, Seungcheol then glances back at his best friend as he slips his shoes on and offers him a triumphant smile. In his mind, clearly, he had managed to play matchmaker well if you were staying longer than he was. He could almost hear the wedding bells in the back of his mind, but the look on Seungcheol’s face was one of doubt, which always leads to delays. 

“You’re welcome. Get that stupid look off your face and seal the deal.” 

Scoffing, Seungcheol double checks that you can’t hear either of them before he meets Jeonghan’s eyes once more. 

“Would you shut the hell up? I–we don’t know what’s going to happen. She was doing me a favor because you trapped her in a moment—” 

“No, she came over because she wanted to. She could have canceled and she could have left hours ago, Cheol. She wants to be here and she wants to be here with you. You weren’t here to see her schoolgirl crush smiling at her phone every time you sent a message.” 

Pressing his lips together while learning about the couple of hours before he had gotten home, Seungcheol couldn't stop how the corners of his lips started to turn up. He wanted to see that smile. He loved your smile. He loved how you made Matthew smile. God, he was falling for you and it was that hard sort of falling that people warned you about. 

“Really?” 

Shaking his head, Jeonghan reaches over to pat Seungcheol’s bicep as he rolls his eyes at his friend’s reaction. You were the school girl and here was your school boy. It was a match made in heaven, and it was nauseating to be around. 

“Really, Casanova. Don’t let her slip through your fingers because you’re a pussy.” 

Seungcheol groans, his smile falling at Jeonghan’s wording. Why did he have to be so crass? No, he wasn’t some church going perfect angel himself, but at least he didn’t go around calling people a pussy. 

“Get out, seriously. If Matthew starts saying shit like that, I’m personally making you pay for his therapy sessions.” 

Getting one last cheeky grin from Jeonghan, Seungcheol closes the door and makes his way back towards your soft voice. It was getting late and being a school night, it was around the time he would normally get Matthew ready for bed. He almost hated the idea of that tonight. He knew that Matthew wanted you to tuck him in, but what would that mean afterwards? Would you have leave right way? Could he talk you into staying for a glass of wine? It was a school night for you too…

“No, that truck was my favorite too. Get your teeth in the back too.” 

Surprised to hear you and Matthew in the bathroom, Seungcheol tilts his head and leans against the wall, watching you smile at his son. It was surreal to see something like this. He had always wanted this for Matthew—and, if he could be selfish, for himself. 

This wasn’t something he had gotten much of from his wife before her accident. She didn’t get to help him put Matthew to bed once he was old enough to remember her. While Seungcheol would always regret that, he found himself allowing himself a bit of time to relish Matthew’s little piece of normality with you. 

“Good! Big smile.” 

You laugh, your heart full and warm, as Matthew shows you his clean teeth. This was dangerous. You were so in love with this family. You could see yourself doing this every single night and never getting tired of it. There was something about Matthew and Seungcheol that made your life feel complete and that was terrifying in ways that you couldn’t even explain to yourself. 

“One of my favorite smiles. Time to change? Then I can come tuck you in.” 

Turning to follow Matthew, you stop short, seeing Seungcheol watching you from the hall. You get hit with a sudden rush of anxiety, wondering if you have overstepped, but the smile and look on his face tell you that you haven’t. You watch his fingers glide through Matthew’s hair before he glances back at him, telling him not to bring trucks into his bed, before he looks at you and takes your breath away with a smile. 

“You’re a natural.” 

Shyly, you shake your head and move towards him and Matthew’s bedroom, stopping just outside to give the boy time to change. 

“Just teacher things, I guess.” 

Seungcheol shakes his head and fights his urge to reach out and pull you towards him. You were standing too far away from him and with how he was feeling, all he wanted to do was pull you into his arms and do exactly what Jeonghan had told him to do. Why was he dancing around this? You were everything he had been wanting and not even the fear of the unknown was enough to keep him from taking that leap. 

Starting to speak, Seungcheol watches you take a deep breath when Matthew’s small voice makes him stop before he even gets started. You instead watch as he smiles and rubs the back of his neck, gesturing for you to go ahead. Biting at your lip, you nod and give him a small glance as you pass by, only for your breath to get caught in your throat when Seungcheol’s fingers trail over your fingers just before you cross over the threshold into the bedroom. 

“Go ahead; I’ll say goodnight once he’s tucked in. Something tells me he might get upset if I try to interrupt.” 

One last look towards Seungcheol, and you move into Matthew’s room and sit on the side of his bed as he grins up at you. Your stomach was doing flips as butterflies held a rave inside of you, but with a deep breath, you managed to keep your cool and tuck the covers around Matthew. 

“How’s that? Too tight?” 

Shaking his head, Matthew wiggles under the covers to show you that he can still move easily as you run your fingers over the top of his head, feeling his eyes move over your face. 

“Okay, good. Sleep well and I’ll see you at school in the morning.” 

“Mmkay, Miss Y/N.” 

You smile at his tired words, starting to stand when Matthew whines and you stay right where you are, giving him a concerned look at the sudden change. 

“Can I have a hug for bedtime?” 

You knew you would say no. Sure, it would make Matthew sad and, in turn, make you sad, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much as what you chose to do. Instead of saying no, you nodded and leaned down to let him wrap his arms around your neck and hold you close to him as he whispered his thanks for the day and told you goodnight. You could feel the tears rising in your eyes even as you willed them to stay back. 

“It’s my pleasure, Matthew. Tha–thank you for hanging out with me. Sleep tight…” 

Seungcheol had to take a deep breath while watching his son cling to you like a safety net. It almost broke his heart to watch you sit up, but then you ran your fingers over Matthew’s face and whispered goodnight and Seungcheol could have sworn he saw tears in your eyes. Was that a good sign or a bad one? 

Sliding past Seungcheol, you sniff softly but smile at him as you let him move into the room. You find yourself wanting to watch as he finishes up the bedtime routine, but your heart won’t let you. The tears on your cheeks tell you that you need to run out of this apartment as fast as you can, but you wait, feeling the need to say your goodbyes to Seungcheol. 

The soft click of the door shutting draws your attention back towards Matthew’s room and Seungcheol as you wipe your cheeks quickly and put your smile back on your face. You didn’t hate what you were feeling; it just terrified you to no end. You had never pictured a family with Alex; no matter how many times he had brought up what a fantastic mother you were going to be to his children, it wasn’t something that you could see. Looking at Seungcheol, you could picture that future and you weren’t even in a real relationship with him. What did that say about you?

“Hey, thanks for doing that. He’s already out like a light. I never get him down that easy.”

You only manage to hum into a small smile at Seungcheol’s words as he moves closer to you,  his presence making it harder for you to choose if you want to stay or run. 

“It’s no biggie. He’s a great kid.” 

Nodding, Seungcheol opens and closes his hand a few times before taking the leap and reaching out to wrap his fingers around yours, feeling your hand shake in his. Maybe you were just as nervous as he was? Maybe you could already see where this was going? Maybe, just maybe, you wanted it too. 

“He is… But, um, could I say something? Not about Matthew and you hear me out?” 

Those butterflies had taken something strong at their rave and you felt like you were going to be sick with nerves. Your head was woozy even as you nodded to answer Seungcheol, unable to find the right words. Swallowing hard, he sighs into a small laugh before reaching up to scratch at his brow with his free hand, keeping yours in his other. 

“I–okay, I’m just gonna say it, alright? I love having you around. I really like this, you know? Us. So I was thinkin’ if you aren’t busy, maybe we could get dinner this weekend? Just the two of us?” 

Letting out a breath, you pull your fingers back and smile at Seungcheol, trying to think straight, but nothing in your head makes sense. You were panicking. The look on Seungcheol’s face told you that he could see you were panicking as you took a step back from him and literally looked for your escape route. 

“It is so late. I have work in the morning, but you know that. Thank you so much for dinner. I mean, you know what I mean.”

Following you, Seungcheol runs his fingers through his hair, feeling panic start to roll through him as you pretend that he hadn’t just confessed to you and asked you out. Was he that bad of a choice? Or was this about something else? Were you afraid too?

“Y/N? What? Wait, no, I know you have work. Shit… wait. I didn’t mean to—” 

Turning to face him as you reach the door, you can’t stop the tears that run down your cheeks. The same tears seem to resonate with Seungcheol and stop him from giving you his reasoning. All he finds himself wanting to do is hold you and make it better, but that fear of pushing you away is stronger than ever as you wipe at your cheeks and apologize under your breath, pulling your shoes on. 

“I will talk to you later, okay? Just… I can’t do this right now.” 

Seungcheol knew he should say something else, do something to stop you from leaving until more was said and understood, but all he could do was watch as his door shut and leave him in silence. His heart beating hard in his chest, the pang of rejection and confusion rips through Seungcheol as he turns away from where you had been standing and moves to the couch to sit down and rest his head in his hands. 

Inside your apartment, you let your tears fall freely. You didn’t want to disappoint Seungcheol, but the first thing you saw when he said those words to you was Matthew’s disappointed face. That’s the face you would have to see if the relationship didn’t work out. That's who you’d be hurting. It wouldn’t just be your heart or even Seungcheol’s heart on the line; it would be that child’s heart. 

So now you sat on your kitchen floor, your heart feeling shattered as you forced yourself to stick to what you had decided instead of running back over to Seungcheol’s apartment and telling him that you felt the same way. Sometimes people don’t get what they want just because they want it. Sometimes they have to give up what they want for the benefit of others.

Seungcheol was nervous as he stood in the doorway to your classroom. He knew he was early and that Matthew wasn’t particularly happy with him because he would be the first student at school, but he needed to talk to you. The way things had ended the night before was eating at him. 

Ushering Matthew into the room, Seungcheol watches as his son runs over to you. He feels his heart tighten as small arms wrap around your waist and he wants to do the same thing. The confusion and surprise on your face are enough to make the thoughts move from Seungcheol’s mind as he smiles at you and lifts Matthew’s bag, walking towards the cubbies. 

“You—you’re early. The others won’t be here for probably half an hour.” 

Wincing at your words as he hangs Matthew’s bag up, Seungcheol considers lying. He thinks about telling you that he just has to get to work early—that’s the only reason he’s bringing Matthew in so early—but the look in your eye tells him that he should just tell you the truth. 

"I—yeah, I know. I just… Could I talk to you for a second?” 

Glancing towards Matthew, you sigh as he moves away from you both towards the building block area to play. Crossing your arms, you gesture back towards the door and the cubbies to give even more space between yourself and Seungcheol from the boy so he can’t hear. 

“I’m not sure there’s a lot to talk—”

“I know… I’m sorry. I don’t mean to interrupt you, Y/N. But please? Can I just say this? I didn’t really get to finish what I wanted to say.” 

You furrow your brow, glancing down at your fingers on your forearm as you nod. This conversation was already too difficult. Seungcheol felt too close, but glancing off to the side towards Matthew as he stacks up blocks, counting them quietly under his breath, makes you take in a deep breath as you listen to what he has to say. 

“Okay, can’t we just try it? This seems to work great. I mean, at least it does to me. All I asked for was dinner. I like you, Y/N. Like, really, really like you.” 

Tilting his head as he stops walking in the hallway, Alex narrows his eyes, listening to the conversation in your classroom. He had wanted to see you before school started, before your students arrived, but clearly someone had beat him. As he listened closer to the voice of the man, he recognized it, Seungcheol, your boyfriend. Why would he need to tell you how much he liked you? 

Shaking your head, you lift your fingers to quickly wipe at your cheeks, feeling moisture under your eyes as you take a deep breath. This isn't about what you wanted or what Seungcheol wanted. That had become obvious to you last night. You couldn’t and wouldn’t risk breaking Matthew’s heart and ruining something good in his life. You couldn’t be more than his teacher. Even being his friend was putting too much pressure on him. Everything could come crashing down and it wouldn’t be you or Seungcheol who would suffer the most; it would be Matthew. 

“I shouldn’t have asked you to do this. I should have had more guts to just—” Stopping to let out an unamused laugh, you meet Seungcheol’s eyes as he gives you a confused, sad look. “I’m so sorry, Seungcheol. We need to stop this. No more pretending. It’s not good for us and it’s worse for Matthew.” 

Pretending. The word causes Seungcheol’s heart to feel like it’s breaking and it causes Alex to scoff. You had been pretending to date Seungcheol. Shaking his head, Alex smirks as he turns back towards his own classroom, running his fingers through his hair, leaving you to finish your breakup with your fake boyfriend. He could always talk to you later. 

“I—Y/N…please. Why do you think that this is going to hurt anyone? I don’t ever want to hurt you and I certainly wouldn’t hurt my son.” 

Biting at your lips, you furrow your brows and take a step back from Seungcheol as his voice cracks. You could hear other people in the halls now; this conversation had to end. 

“Have a good day, Dr. Choi.” 

With his mouth falling open in confusion and hurt, Seungcheol closes his eyes at your words before nodding. He could hear the sound of the other children in the halls too. He knew he couldn’t force you to talk about this or to come out of your shell, even if he could obviously see you were holding back something. 

You turn from him as Seungcheol moves back into the classroom to lean over Matthew, kissing him on top of the head and whispering his goodbye before glancing at you once more. Without another word, he leaves the room and you feel like you are standing in the ocean as a wave of pain washes over you. 

The day is longer than any other that you can remember. You avoid Seungcheol’s eyes as he picks up Matthew, even as the little boy grabs at your hand, asking you to come back over for dinner. When Seungcheol tells him that tonight isn’t a good night, you hold back your tears as you listen to Matthew’s small, sad voice asking why. 

That was why this wasn’t going to work. You were so good at disappointing people. That was what your degree hanging on the wall should be in. A PhD in Disappointment. 

Walking through your now empty room, you let the silence wash over you as you picked up books and toys, not hearing the door open. You don’t hear footsteps approaching you until Alex’s voice pulls you out of your haze and brings you back to reality. 

“You didn’t have to be so pathetic and pretend to have a boyfriend, babe. Seriously? I don’t need to be jealous to want you back in my life. I’ll take you back, Y/N. You don’t have to put on a brave face.” 

Alex’s words bite at your self esteem and your confidence. Keeping your back to him for a moment longer, you fight back your tears, realizing he had to have heard your conversation with Seungcheol at the beginning of the day. You want to be angry and embarrassed, but instead you are relieved. There is no longer a secret hanging over your head, no need to pretend or worry about some big reveal as the panic slowly fades from your body. 

All you are left with, once the anxiety is gone, is disgust. You try to quickly picture a time when you were in love with Alex. You try to imagine wanting a full and long life with him after hearing him say such hateful and degrading things to you, but you can’t. All you can feel is hate and pity. The pity isn’t even for yourself; instead, you feel an overwhelming pity for the man who once made you laugh before he made you cry. 

Turning to face Alex, you meet his eyes as he smirks at you, the smug look on his face looking more like a mask than something real. He wants to play the villain so badly and you could play the victim and let him have it, but instead you just sigh and nod. 

“Thank you, Alex.” 

Starting to speak, Alex looks surprised and hopeful before you lift your hand and stop him as you continue to speak. 

“Thank you for reminding me why I will never allow you in my life again. I never want to see you again. Someone who would say something like that to me... well, it should be obvious if you ever loved me why I couldn’t and wouldn’t want you near me. Please get the fuck out of my classroom and my life.” 

Your voice is even, a bit of emotion laced in it, but you aren’t hysterical like Alex had imagined or perhaps wanted. You are instead mostly calm and collected and your words stab him in the gut like the final nail in the coffin of any chance at a relationship that he had imagined. 

Taking a step backwards, Alex tries to speak—to come up with some excuse for his actions, but you were right. As he thinks back on the person that he had been and the person that he has become, guilt bites at him, making it harder to defend himself. 

You watch as he shakes his head, muttering something so low that you can’t hear it before he moves out of the room and your door shuts, leaving you once again in that empty silence. 

Closing your eyes, you are back in that ocean as waves crash over you. Tears stream down your face and you recognize the pain as heartbreak. Heartbreak from the final mourning period of a relationship and the impossibility of another. Another wave knocks you back and you let out a sob, your hand on your stomach. More loss, but mixed with relief. 

You feel the loss of a possibility for your own family. You had seen yourself with Seungcheol and Matthew, but that was possible. The relief was from letting go, or attempting to. It was also a loss of the weight that had been on your shoulders from the very moment that you had lied to Alex. 

You just wish that it had never been a lie.

Despite many pep talks from Jeonghan, Seungcheol couldn’t make himself knock on your door. He had seen you around the apartment complex during spring break, but you were avoiding him. Worst of all, you seem to be avoiding Matthew. 

He didn’t really blame you. After what you had told him, it made sense. You were scared, but so was he. He had been terrified from the moment he realized his feelings for you, but he had taken the leap and ended up falling short. 

Any other time, Seungcheol would have given up. He would have stopped looking for that person and tried to push them out of his life, so why couldn’t he do that with you? Why would he lay in bed every single night and picture you in yours, just an apartment over? Why would he look at his phone and pray that you would text him? Why couldn’t he just get some guts and text you himself? 

He had decided that after spring break, the first day of school, he would try his best. At school, it wasn’t like you couldn’t talk to him. You had to talk to parents, and you had to talk to your students. Matthew was excited about seeing you again; this would be the perfect time. It would have been perfect if, when Seungcheol had come through the door, there wasn’t a completely different person standing at the front of the classroom. 

 “Daddy…” 

The whine in Matthew’s voice almost broke Seungcheol’s heart. Running his hand over Matthew’s hair, Seungcheol offers the woman a smile and tilts his head as he walks towards her as she looks down at her clipboard. 

“Hi. Uh, Matthew Choi… I’m Seungcheol, his father.” 

Smiling at the boy and at Seungcheol, the woman finds Matthew’s name and places a check next to it before sighing. 

“So prompt, I value responsibility. Hello, I’m Mrs. Lim.” 

Shaking the woman’s hand, Seungcheol tries to keep his smile, but he knows it’s strained as he glances around the room, realizing how much of the room has changed. The posters were different. The books were in a different place. This wasn’t your classroom anymore. 

“It’s really nice to meet you. I’m so sorry, but where is Miss Y/N?”

Swallowing hard, Mrs. Lim nods at the question before putting her clipboard to her chest and taking a deep breath, knowing she would be handling this question many times today. 

“The school was supposed to send out a letter, but perhaps not everyone got them in time. Miss Y/N accepted a job in another district. I hope that I can fill her shoes here…” 

Feeling like a truck had run him over, Seungcheol just nodded as Matthew looked up at him, confused. A small hand tugs at his jacket and Seungcheol nods once again before glancing down at his son, trying to smile at him even as Matthew frowns. 

“Uh, Miss Y/N is teaching other kids, buddy.” 

“No! Daddy!” 

Hearing his son cry was one of the most painful things that Seungcheol could experience. He knew it wouldn’t be the last time, and it hadn’t been the first by a long shot, but there was so much heartbreak in his sobs. Moving to his knees in front of Matthew, Seungcheol controls his own emotions as he wipes tears away and shushes the little boy to calm him down. 

“It’s okay. Mrs. Lim seems so nice and I’m sure you two will get along.” 

Pulling back from Seungcheol, Matthew sniffs hard, talking between sobs as big tears roll down his cheeks, meeting his dad’s fingers.

“Did I make Miss Y/N mad at me?”

Shaking his head quickly, Seungcheol pulls Matthew into his arms and closes his eyes, having an even harder time keeping himself in check. He was upset with you for not telling him, but he was even more upset with the fact that you felt like you had to leave. 

“Absolutely not. Miss Y/N adores you.” 

It takes a few more minutes before Matthew is calm enough that Seungcheol feels comfortable leaving. After apologizing to Mrs. Lim for the small outburst on behalf of his son, Seungcheol moves out into the hall and leans against the wall to catch his breath. 

Running his fingers through his hair, he shakes his head and sniffs back his own tears that had threatened to fall when he hears a familiar voice. Glancing to his left, all Seungcheol sees is red. His feet moving quicker than his brain, Seungcheol pushes his forearm against Alex’s chest as the man’s back hits the wall with a dull thud. Only the sound of a gasp from another teacher is heard over Alex’s grunt before he tells the woman it’s fine. 

“It’s not fine... what the fuck did you do? What did you do that made her leave?”

Scoffing through a bit of pain, Alex meets Seungcheol’s eyes and there is pain and hurt in both. The hurt in Alex’s eyes only serves to piss off Seungcheol more as he pushes harder against the man’s body, feeling his hand grasp at his wrist. 

“I—get off me. I don’t have to tell the fake boyfriend anything.”

Leaning back only to push against Alex harder so that his head hits the wall, Seungcheol watches the man’s mouth fall open in pain as he hears the sound of the security guard moving towards them. Taking a step back, he holds up his hands, showing them he’s done before he grabs him. 

“You don’t know anything about Y/N and you don’t know a damn thing about me and her.” Pointing towards Alex as the guard puts his hand around his forearm, Seungcheol scoffs, keeping his ground. “Stay away from Y/N and if you ever touch Matthew again, I won’t need to file a report with the school. You got it?” 

Rubbing the back of his head, Alex winces and narrows his eyes at Seungcheol. It had all been grounds for him to let them drag Seungcheol out of the school until his kid was mentioned. Now Alex needed to save face. No, nothing had happened, but he had crossed the line multiple times with you and by approaching a student that wasn’t his, he had already been warned by the administration. 

“Let him go. Everything is fine. Just a misunderstanding. We are fine… We understand one another, I can promise you that.” 

Feeling the hand on his arm relax, Seungcheol scoffs at how quick Alex’s mood shifts. He was pathetic and he could understand why you wanted nothing to do with him. Giving the man one more look of contempt, Seungcheol shakes his head and moves for the main doors, letting them slam behind him. 

Rolling your head from side to side, you rub your neck as you let out a soft sigh. You were tired after a long day and a longer commute than you were used to at your new school. The students were great but they weren’t the same. The entire day, you found yourself missing your students, as you had to check name tags to remember who you were speaking to. 

It would just take some getting used to. This was the best decision. It was easier for everyone to do it this way. It didn’t matter that you looked for Matthew in the circle of children on the reading rug only to be disappointed when you couldn’t find his sweet gummy smile and his kind eyes looking back up at you. Your heart would heal. 

Taking your keys out of your purse as the elevator stops on your floor, you keep your eyes down until you are almost at your door. Seeing shoes on your welcome mat facing you makes you stop in your tracks and causes your eyes to slowly lift to meet Seungcheol’s as he rests against your door with a frown on his face. 

You had done such a good job of avoiding him and Matthew. Sure, there had been a few times you had found yourself turning on your toes and heading in the other direction, but you had done that to make things easier for everyone. Looking at Seungcheol now, making eye contact with him, you knew there was no running away. 

“Um… Hey.” 

Seungcheol had hoped for more after not talking to you for so long, but he would take what he could get. He knew he was putting you on the spot; clearly, there was no other way to get you to talk to him. 

“Hey. So, I, uh, I took Matthew to school this morning and needless to say, we were both a little shocked and—fuck, I won’t even lie, we were heartbroken when you weren’t there. You quit?” 

Taking a deep breath, you look at your keys in your hand as Seungcheol speaks. Learning that he and Matthew were hurt by your absence makes your stomach feel queasy, but you try to stand your ground and keep yourself somewhat stoic as you nod. 

“Sorry, I got an offer about an hour away and I felt that I should take it. Ya know, it’s better—”

“For who?” 

Being interrupted by Seungcheol, you meet his eyes once again and let out a breath through your nose before looking off to the side. You didn’t want to look him in the eye and try to explain—or lie about this. It was hard enough trying to convince yourself every day in the mirror. 

“For everyone, Seungcheol. I can’t work there anymore. I didn’t want to ruin things for Matthew or you. I couldn’t be around Alex anymore.” 

Stepping away from the door, taking a step towards you, Seungcheol reaches out to take your wrist into his hand, trying to get you to actually look at him. When you don’t instantly pull away, he lowers his head and leans to the right to make you meet his eyes as he speaks. The wet glaze over his eyes makes you feel like your heart is breaking all over again as your bottom lip quivers until you bite at it to force it to stop, once again forcing back any emotions that threaten to bubble to the surface. 

“Matthew isn’t happy without you, Y/N. Why in the hell would you think that he would be? He’s depressed without you at school and without you in his life. I don’t understand why you think he’d be better off without you around.” 

Sighing loudly, Seungcheol’s eyes drop to your bitten lip as you try to keep your tears back. He can see them on the rims of your eyes and he knows that you understand, even if you won’t say it. 

“My son loves you. Don’t you get that? I lov—fuck… I need you in my life, Y/N. When I found out about you quitting I saw Alex and I confronted him. I told him to stay the fuck away from you, away from us.” 

Shaking your head, you pull your arm from Seungcheol’s, feeling his fingers chase after yours as he whines your name under his breath. You can hear and feel the desperation behind his voice and it makes you want to make it better, but you don’t think he even understands what he’s saying to you or what he’s done. 

“You shouldn’t have done that, Seungcheol. There’s no point. It was wrong of me to put myself into your life and into Matthew’s life. This is what I do. Don’t you get that? I disappoint people. Please let me—let me go. You don’t get it.” 

Frustration rises in Seungcheol as you speak and as he watches your tears run down your cheeks. You were the one who didn’t get it. You thought this was just pretty words and a dream but to him, it was so much more. You were so much more. 

Sliding his hand along your cheek to push away your tears, Seungcheol whispers your name as you let out a soft sob. Wanting to make you see what he feels, he cups your face in his palm and brushes his lips against yours, feeling you stiffen in his grasp for only a second before you relax. His kiss not only stuns you but it also takes your breath away. Your tears flow even more freely as Seungcheol’s fingers brush at your skin and his lips move over yours until he finally pulls away and rests his forehead against yours. 

“Do you understand now?” 

Wrapping your fingers around Seungcheol’s wrist, you sniff back tears as you lean your head back from his and shake your head. 

“It won’t work, Seungcheol.” 

Walking you towards the wall, Seungcheol shakes his head in return before leaning to kiss your cheek and tasting your tears on his lips. 

"Yes, it will. It has to. I want it to… so fucking bad, baby. You feel like my missing piece. Y/N, you’re my somebody. Let me prove it to you.”

Seungcheol cups your face with both of his hands as you push your front door closed, letting him once again walk you backwards until your back is flush against the wall. The only difference this time is that it’s your lips that meet his first. You feel his fingers slide along the side of your head as he deepens the kiss, his tongue gliding into your mouth to mesh with your tongue before he groans, feeling your fingers grasp at his sides over his t-shirt. 

This was everything Seungcheol had pictured for days, if not weeks, after being around you. He had wanted to kiss you that night when the two of you had shared wine on his couch. He had wanted to ask you to stay the night after dinner so that he could make love to you, and now he had you in his hands. 

Sliding one hand along your neck, Seungcheol breaks the kiss long enough to meet your eyes, checking for any hesitation as his other hand moves to your hips and tugs them flush with his own. The only look in your eyes is one of desperation and desire. He wasn’t the only one who had wanted this, he had just been better at admitting it to himself than you had. Now that it was real and in front of you, your brain was in a frenzy. 

“You’re so beautiful—so fucking beautiful. Wanted this… God, I’ve wanted it since I laid eyes on you. Wanna make you mine.” 

Seungcheol’s hand moves back to your face, resting on your jaw so that his thumb can brush over your bottom lip, tugging it down as you whimper. There truly was nothing better than this. No art in any museum could compare to you. No artist would ever capture that look in your eyes, the bitten look of your lips, or the desire that was burning in you for Seungcheol. 

“Please? Please, Cheol…” 

Nodding, Seungcheol groans under his breath as you beg him to do what he wants. Glancing away from you, he gestures towards the hall in hopes that his guess of the layout of your apartment wasn’t too far off. 

“Yeah, second door.” 

Smiling at your pretty voice, Seungcheol leans down to capture your lips once again as his hands move from your face and hips to wrap around your thighs right under your ass. Feeling your arms wrap around his neck in surprise, he grins on your lips and lifts you with little effort, even as you gasp. 

“Seungcheol, oh my god, I can walk.” 

Clinging to Seungcheol, you watch as he shakes his head, walking you towards your bedroom. His strong hands are under you, holding you close to his body with each step. 

“What’s the fun in that, baby? Let me have this, okay?” 

Stepping into your room, Seungcheol only glances around for a second before his lips are back on yours and he takes another step towards your bed, only to sit down, allowing you to rest on his lap. Your cheeks were hot with how flustered you felt, not only about being carried to your room but about how you could already feel Seungcheol’s cock between your legs. Letting out a shaky breath on his lips, you hold onto Seungcheol’s shoulders as you give into your desire and rest your knees on either side of his legs. Rolling your hips over the bulge in his jeans and earning you a deep groan from his throat, Seungcheol leans his head back and presses his fingers into the swell of your ass through your pants. 

“Shit… that—that feels so good. It’s been a long time for me, Y/N.” 

Nodding, you slide your fingers from Seungcheol’s shoulder along his neck and up to his face to tilt it back towards you so you can meet his eyes as you roll your hips over him once again. You feel your own arousal beginning to soak through your panties, causing them to stick to your folds, a soft whine slipping from between your lips as your brows furrow. 

“That’s okay. It’s been a while for me too, Cheol.” 

It might be selfish of him, but Seungcheol thinks at that moment that if he had his way, he might be your last. He would be all you’d ever need. You’d never want to look for anyone else. All he needed to do was prove that to you. 

Smiling into a soft groan, he groans as his brows furrow, feeling your fingernails press into his shoulders over his shirt. Seungcheol leans his head back and your lips against his throat has his eyes closing and his fingers tightening on your hips, pulling you down over his lap. Sliding his hands upwards, Seungcheol whispers your name as your lips move along his jaw and his head almost becomes cloudy with thoughts of putting your back on the bed and having his way with you. 

“Y/N… fuck. I need to see you. Can I? Can I see you?” 

Nodding, you lean back from him, letting his fingers work up your sides, pushing your shirt up as he goes. Brown eyes take in every new inch of skin exposed to him as Seungcheol furrows his brows and whispers out soft praises for you. He tells you how beautiful you are, how perfect you are, and how much he cares about you, all before pulling your shirt up and over your head and tossing it behind you into the floor. 

Your cheeks burn at his attention as Seungcheol smiles at you, his fingers once again on your body. You can’t help the way that you gasp and shift in his lap as his fingers walk along your flesh, leaving goosebumps behind his path. 

Shifting your shoulders forward, you feel your bra straps fall down your arms when Seungcheol’s fingers work the clasps open at the middle of your back. The garment gives way and you feel warm breath fanning across your skin before soft plush kisses move from your shoulder to the center of your chest. 

Letting your bra fall into your lap, you slide your fingers into Seungcheol’s hair as his name slips from between your lips like a prayer or a hymn. You didn’t have much doubt that he would have been good at this, but it was still surprising at how much attention he was giving you and how he was taking his time—even if you wanted more and more quickly. 

Tugging at his hair, you whine almost in frustration as you feel his lips brush over your nipple, only for Seungcheol to pull away and place a kiss in the same place on your other breast. You were so aroused—so wet—that you felt like you could cum untouched on his lap, but every single teasing touch kept you right on the edge. 

“Cheol… please? I need more… Give me more.” 

He wanted to give you more. He wanted to see more, but tasting your skin was like tasting sugar for the first time. The salt in your skin was addictive. The smell of your body wash, the perfume that you used... even the laundry detergent that you chose was like the perfect mix to keep him dazed. It’s only your voice that brings him back to the present and reminds him what he’s supposed to do. 

Standing with you secure in his arms, Seungcheol quickly turns to lay you on your bed so he can hover over you. The feeling is instantly different. You had known that he was a large man and that he worked hard in the gym, but having him on top of you like this made it even more obvious how small you were compared to him. 

Letting his eyes move over your face for a moment as your eyes widen, Seungcheol smirks slightly, trailing his fingers along your stomach to the clasp of your jeans. Working them open, he watches you bite your bottom lip and all he can think is how he wants to do that for you, how he’d do anything for you if you asked him to. It could be in this bed or the most simple domestic task and he would make it happen. 

When Seungcheol’s palm presses to your abdomen and his fingers work their way into your jeans past your panties, you can’t help the small, surprised gasp that escapes from behind your lips. Your hips lift and Seungcheol’s middle finger barely presses between your folds, brushing over your clit, and it’s almost enough to make you want to scream his name. 

You didn’t remember being this easy to please, but perhaps it wasn’t even that… no, perhaps it was Seungcheol touching you. Maybe it was his fingers sliding against your wet folds and parting them so that he can circle your entrance with that same middle finger. It was because this time you were with the man you had spent hours trying to avoid picturing spending your life with and now he was groaning your name, feeling your slick arousal coating his fingers for the first time. 

“Baby, oh my god, Y/N.” Seungcheol feels his mouth water as he feels his fingers slipping through your soft, wet folds. He just shakes his head as he tries to angle his hand in your tight jeans to press his finger into you, only to whine in frustration when he can’t. “Gotta get these off. Wanna taste you… gotta open you up, baby girl.” 

Smiling as you run your fingers through Seungcheol’s hair, hearing him whine, you lower your eyes to his hands as he tugs at your jeans, working them down your legs. There was this amazing juxtaposition when it came to him. You had just felt so small under him and now you were listening to him whine and talk with a pout on his lips as he tried to pull your pants off while still talking to you with such a dirty mouth. 

Grinning to himself as he drops your jeans on the floor next to the bed, Seungcheol glances up at you before he wraps his arms under your thighs and scoots you up in the bed suddenly. Gasping his name, you grab at his shirt out of surprise, feeling it pull up his body as he meets your eyes again with a raised brow. 

“Can’t have you falling off the bed. Do you want my shirt? You can have it, sweetheart.” 

Your eyes follow Seungcheol’s hand as he reaches over his shoulder to tug at his shirt, pulling it up over his head with one swift movement. There were many ways to remove a shirt but that had to be the sexiest way you had ever seen. Trying to push your thighs together, you find you can’t as Seungcheol’s knee rests between them, drawing his eyes down to your legs as he hands you his shirt. 

“Fuck… look at you.” 

Hissing out a moan, you clench your fingers around Seungcheol’s shirt and lift your hips when he pushes his thumb against the center of your panties, where the cloth was sticking to your skin. This wasn’t what you meant by giving you more, but any complaints can’t make it out of your mouth as Seungcheol smirks at you, one hand resting on the bed next to your hip and the other staying between your legs. 

Brushing his knuckles over your wet panties, he lets out a breath before pulling them to the side and letting out a deep groan at the sight. He knew you were wet. He had felt it on his fingers and it was easy to see even through your panties, but seeing your glistening skin was another thing entirely. 

“So pretty… you’re so wet, baby girl. Is it uncomfortable?” 

Nodding, you close your eyes tightly, feeling tears threatening to spill over the rims of your eyes from just anticipation. 

“Yes, Cheol…” 

A soft, sweet, faux cooing sound slips from his lips before Seungcheol lowers himself down between your legs to run his tongue over your soft folds. Grunting to the taste, he furrows his brows and wraps his fingers around your panties tighter, keeping them to the side as he wraps his free arm around your hip, tugging you closer to his mouth. One simple taste wasn’t nearly enough, it was only enough to make him feel feral with desire for you and for him to want to bury his face between your legs for the rest of his life. 

Bringing Seungcheol’s shirt up to your mouth, you bite down on the cotton to muffle your moans. Your eyes close tightly, tears running from your eyes and towards your hairline as Seungcheol’s lips wrap around your clit, and he sucks hard and groans, sending a vibration through your body. You feel yourself clench around nothing until he runs his tongue along your folds, massaging them, pulling them into his mouth and finally pressing his tongue into your needy hole. 

“Seungcheol!” 

The shirt falls from your lips as you scream his name, feeling the pressure that has been building in your abdomen and threatening to overflow. Seungcheol’s lips pull up ever so slightly, even as he nudges his nose against your clit and fucks you with his tongue, feeling you clench around the muscle. 

He wanted you to cum for him. He needed it more than he needed water to survive the desert. You were all that made sense right now, and getting you to bliss was the answer to everything. 

Sliding his hand from around your hip, Seungcheol grunts under his breath as he leans back, face wet with your slick. Spitting on your entrance, he works two of his fingers into your velvet walls, watching you arch your back off the bed. 

“There you go, baby.” 

He could feel you clamping down around his fingers as you became impossible wetter, your cum seeping around his fingers with each deep thrust. 

“Oh my god, Cheol...”

Smiling against your inner thigh, Seungcheol glances up at you to meet your eyes as he carefully slides his fingers out of you, feeling your walls pulse around them. He wanted more, but even if you decided that you couldn’t handle more or that you didn’t want more, seeing you like that would be enough. 

Reaching out for him, you wrap your legs around his waist, feeling instantly frustrated at the feeling of his jeans against your skin. The only thing that makes it better is his soft, plush lips on yours. You try to think quickly of anything better than Choi Seungcheol’s kiss—the way he would smile against your mouth before licking into it with a groan—and nothing comes to mind. Muttering into the kiss, you drag your fingers along his sides, feeling him shiver under your hands before he leans back to look down at you with want in his eyes. 

“Off, take them off. Want—I want you. Please?” 

At first, when you say off, Seungcheol’s heart almost drops into his stomach. He thinks that you really have had enough of him for the night, but then your nails tug at the top of his jeans and a smile pulls at his pretty lips. 

“Anything you want... fuck, Y/N. I’d give you the world.” 

Sucking on your bottom lip, you feel heat rising in your cheeks and along your chest and neck at Seungcheol’s words. You had fallen deep and hard for this man and he was a romantic. You weren’t going to get out of this without a few scars or in one piece, but now you weren’t sure if you wanted to. 

Watching him closely, your eyes follow Seungcheol as he slides off the bed to push his jeans down along with his boxers, leaving him naked in front of you. Bringing your fingers up to your already bitten lips, you turn on your side and press your cheek against your arm, trying to hide your reaction, but the look on Seungcheol’s face tells you that you haven’t gotten off that easily. 

Moving back to you, he runs his hand up the length of your leg, stopping at your hip as he tilts his head to meet your eyes, his other hand pulling your fingers from your lips. Seungcheol watches as your lips fall open on a soft, breathy gasp of his name when he guides your hand to his cock. With your hand in his, he guides your palm over the head of his length before wrapping your fingers around his shaft and dragging your hand from tip to base. 

“This okay?”

Nodding quickly, you whine, feeling Seungcheol thrust his hips gently towards your hand as he lets go of yours in place of running his fingers over your head, a groan slipping from his lips. He didn’t want to get off like this, and he wouldn’t, but with how you had been looking at him—a mixture of lust and surprise—Seungcheol wanted to make sure you knew what was going inside of you. 

Your eyes stay on his face for a moment longer before they drop to your hand and Seungcheol’s cock in your hand. It wasn’t as if you couldn’t tell he was big, but feeling and seeing were different stories. It wasn’t length but girth. He was thick enough that you could already imagine the stretch and found yourself thanking him in your mind for making you cum first. 

“Sh—shit baby… I gotta stop you.” 

Putting his hand back over yours, Seungcheol licks his lips and moves your hand from his leaking cock as it twitches, almost begging you for more. He already felt so close. Just looking at you, fucking you with his tongue, and feeling you on his fingers had been enough to make him feel like he was going to cum, but now your hand on him? He was lucky he didn’t cum the second he put your fingers around his cock. 

“Fuck me, Cheol.” 

Your voice is timid and almost a whisper but Seungcheol can hear it. Furrowing his brows, he licks his lips once more before shaking his head and this time your heart sinks before he speaks and slides his hand between your legs, parting them so he can once again run his fingers through your already swollen, wet folds. 

“No… I’m not going to fuck you, baby girl.” Grinning as you start to pout and whine in protest, Seungcheol leans to kiss your lips as he pushes two fingers into you, feeling you arch off the bed. “I’m gonna make love to you. There’s a difference.” 

Gasping on his lips, you hold on to his shoulders, digging your nails into his skin as Seungcheol rocks his fingers back against your spot, feeling you clench down over them once again. When you throw your head back, cum once again coating his fingers, Seungcheol groans, leaning to press his lips to the column of your throat, feeling your swallow hard under his kiss. 

“That’s it, such a good girl. You feel good?”

Out of breath, you nod weakly as Seungcheol looks down at you, sliding his fingers out of you. 

“That’s all I want, baby…” 

Glancing around the room, Seungcheol leans his head on his arm before taking a breath and wincing a bit before asking you what he had been mildly dreading from the moment this had begun. He knew it could make or break the moment, but it was important. 

“I didn’t bring anything with me with the assumption that something like this was happening. 

Fuck, I mean, I don’t even think I have condoms at my place. Do you have anything?” 

Smiling as you bite your lips, you run your fingers over Seungcheol’s cheek before tracing his lips, feeling him press a kiss to your fingers. 

“I’m on birth control, Cheol. It’s fine.” 

Taking a deep breath against your fingers, Seungcheol nods, feeling the pressure melt away as you run your knee along his outer thigh up to his hip. He hated the idea of disappointing you after making a big promise like he had, but now the pressure was taken over by desire. It was an honor to be in your bed in the first place, but like this? His head was spinning.

Sliding his fingers along your bent leg, Seungcheol leans into your hand as you cup his cheek before he turns to kiss your palm and nods, letting you know without words what he was doing. Gasping softly at the feeling of the tip of his cock running through your folds, you close your eyes and drop your hand to his shoulder as you push your head back into the pillow. Not even imagining the stretch could actually prepare you for the real thing as Seungcheol slowly eased inside of you bit by bit. 

“Oh my god.” The words fall from your lips like a prayer, tears finding your eyes again as the painful stretch is quickly replaced with pleasure. “Seungcheol… fuck. You’re…” 

The words get caught in your throat and Seungcheol looks up at you in concern, seeing tears running from your eyes. Running his fingers over your face, he stops moving and presses his lips to yours, only to feel you shake your head and lift your hips, trying to get more of him inside of you. 

“Ah—fuck, Y/N… I just—I wanted to make sure you were okay.” 

Nodding, you capture Seungcheol’s lips, kissing him between words. 

“I’m okay. Feels so good, baby. Please give me more.” 

Hearing you call him baby left Seungcheol stunned and love struck. He pauses before feeling you once again lift your hips before you wrap your legs around his waist and whine his name on his lips. 

“Okay…okay. It’s just... call me that again? Please?” 

You hadn’t even realized what you had said until he asked for you to call him the pet name again. Opening your eyes as you press your head back into the pillow, you feel Seungcheol bottom out in you, the stretch so intense that you clench around him, earning yourself a well deserved groan from his chest. 

“Baby?” 

You watch as Seungcheol nods, another groan dripping from his lips like candy for you to collect. Smiling, you can’t hold back a soft moan as Seungcheol makes a shallow thrust and you feel full and complete. You find yourself wanting to always feel like this. Warm, full, and safe. 

“I—lo—” You struggle with your words as Seungcheol thrusts deep and harder, sending your head towards the headboard. Reaching back over your head, you hold on to the side of it and hum out another moan before nodding. “Just like that, baby. I’m so close. You’re right, there’s a difference.” 

Seungcheol smiles at your words as he leans down to press a kiss on your shoulder. He was hoping you hadn’t been upset with him for telling you he was going to make love to you. There would be plenty of time for him to fuck you later—at least he hoped so. If he got his way, this would be forever. He could already picture himself buying a ring and getting down on one knee. 

Shaking his head to push that thought from his head, not wanting to scare you away, Seungcheol nips at your neck and groans, feeling himself about to burst. He had already made you cum twice, but it was important to him that you were satisfied. He would do everything he could not to cum before you. 

Tugging one of your legs loose from his waist, Seungcheol meets your eyes as he slides his hand between your bodies and finds your folds. He watches as your mouth falls open as his fingertips rub in tight circles over your clit, all while his cock is buried deep inside of you until that cord that was winding in your abdomen snaps once again. 

“Yes…yes—oh fuck!” 

Your voice was like music and had to be what angels sound like. That was all Seungcheol could think of as you came on his cock. You were so tight before, but now, as you orgasmed for the third time with him inside of you, he had seen heaven, and he wasn’t sure how he survived you. 

“Please… now you. Cheol, baby… please?” 

You begging him to cum only solidified that he had to have died and gone to heaven because there was no way for him to resist you. There was no way for him to hold back. Groaning loudly against the crook of your neck, Seungcheol cums as he feels your thighs start to shake around him. 

Running your fingers through his sweaty, damp hair, you close your eyes and focus on catching your breath as Seungcheol rests over your body. He was afraid he was too heavy, but the moment he tried to move away from you, a small whine of protest had him staying right where he was. Placing small kisses on the top of your breasts, Seungcheol then glances up at you, seeing the bliss on your face and he can’t help but smile. 

“You are so beautiful.” 

Laughing softly, you open your eyes and look down at Seungcheol before lifting your hand to hide your face. There was no way you looked remotely beautiful at the moment. You knew you were sweaty and in desperate need of a shower and yet here was the most attractive man you had ever seen in your life, telling you that you were beautiful. 

Wrapping his hand gently around your wrist, Seungcheol pulls your hand from your face and kisses the back of it before bringing your palm to his chest. You feel his heart beating hard as he too works to catch his breath. 

“I’m serious, Y/N. I am so—shit I don’t want to scare you away, but I’m afraid if I don’t, I’ll lose you again. I’m in love with you.” 

Taking a sharp breath at Seungcheol’s confession, you glance up at the ceiling to avoid having to look at his eyes. A small frown replaces his smile as he hears your heart beat quicken in panic. He hadn’t wanted you to panic, but he knew it was a risk. Carefully sliding out of you and to your side, Seungcheol lifts your hand from his chest to his lips and kisses the back of your knuckles as you bite at your lips. 

“Y/N, baby, please look at me? I wanna talk about this. I know you feel something for me or else we wouldn’t be in this bed.” 

Pushing your thighs together, feeling even more sticky and sweaty, you feel yourself becoming even more self conscious until you meet Seungcheol’s eyes and see the concerned look on his face. You didn’t want to hurt him again. You had spent so much of your life running and once you had a good thing, it bit you in the ass. So now that you had walls that he had taken a sledgehammer to, it was terrifying. 

“I—you’re right. I do feel something for you. I feel a lot of things. I’m just so fucking scared, Seungcheol. What if we mess this up? I don’t—” 

Closing your eyes, your words end on a sob as your emotions get the better of you. Moving to pull you into his arms, Seungcheol shakes his head and shushes you before kissing the side of your head, letting you continue.

“I can’t hurt Matthew. I love him so much. I know I shouldn’t. It’s not proper for a teacher to have a favorite like that.” 

Smiling against your head, Seungcheol takes a deep breath and places another kiss before shaking his head. 

“I don’t think it has anything to do with being his teacher or a teacher in general. I think—and you can tell me to shove it up my ass if I’m out of line, but I think it has to do with just love in general. You are maternal, Y/N.” 

Swallowing hard, you hold onto Seungcheol’s forearm as you think through what he has said. 

There was a part of you that did want to tell him to shove it, but a larger part that knew he wasn’t wrong. You had pictured far too often a life with them that wasn’t just being Matthew’s teacher. 

“I feel like I should apologize for that or something.” 

Leaning back to look down at you, Seungcheol moves his hand to tilt your chin up so you will look at him. Furrowing his brow, he shakes his head and the look in his eyes is the most serious you have seen in the entire night. 

“Never apologize for loving my son. He loves you too.” 

The words go straight to your heart and tears stream down your face. You picture Matthew’s sweet smile as you close your eyes and you know you have to ask about him. 

“I—okay. Can I—can I ask how he’s doing?” 

Pulling you back to his chest, Seungcheol leans against your headboard and leans his head back against it with a soft sigh. 

“He’s sad, baby. He misses you. He doesn’t like school as much, even if Mrs. Lim is a decent teacher. He asked if you didn’t like him anymore and that was why you had to teach other little kids.” 

Seungcheol knew the truth of what Matthew had been dealing with would hurt you, but it was something that you needed to know. He could have sugar coated it, but when it came to his son and how he was feeling, that was something Seungcheol would never do. He isn’t surprised when he feels your body shake against his. It breaks his heart to feel your tears against his chest as you turn in his arms to be held tighter. 

“I can’t go back to that—to that school, Cheol. I didn't…  I’m the fucking worst.” 

Shushing you, Seungcheol kisses the top of your head as tears sit on the rims of his eyes, feeling your heartbreak and his own for his son. 

“I know it wasn’t just about us. That wasn’t why you left. What’s done is done. You aren’t the worst; don’t talk about yourself like that. All we need to do is talk to Matthew about it. He will understand.” 

"Alright, listen, if your dad asks about the weekend, what are you gonna say?” 

Jeonghan lifts a brow as he looks down at Matthew on his right. The little boy’s hand in his as he smiles up at him. It had taken a lot to get that smile on his face and he was proud to see it. Between him and Joshua, a weekend of trash tv, and all the worst foods you could feed a child, he was finally seeing the Matthew he knew. 

“That Uncle Jeonghan and Uncle Shua let me watch edgeucational things only on TV.” 

Clicking his tongue as he winks at his godson, Jeonghan fishes his key for Seungcheol’s apartment out of his pocket and pushes the door open. Shifting the overnight bag on his shoulder, he doesn’t glance up until he hears Matthew gasp in surprise. The sound scares him, his eyes widening as the boy takes off, running towards the living room and drawing his eyes in that direction. 

“What! What’s wrong?” 

It’s when he sees you sitting on the couch with Seungcheol that it makes sense. He watches as Matthew wraps his arms around your neck, the sad expression on your face and tears in your eyes as you wrap your arms around the child, pulling him into your lap. 

Meeting Seungcheol’s eyes, Jeonghan lifts his brows and gets a grin back as an answer. Shaking his head, Jeonghan drops the bag from his shoulder onto the couch and lets out a low, deep sigh. It had taken long enough, but clearly things had worked out the way they were supposed to. He just wished it had happened sooner and not at the expense of Matthew’s happiness. At least he could relish in the happy look on his face now, that was making up for almost all of it. 

“Well then, I was going to see if you needed me to stay for a bit today, but clearly...” 

Rolling his eyes, Seungcheol stands up to hug Jeonghan, whispering that he will explain everything later. Glancing back to you and Matthew, he presses his lips together as you nod along with Matthew’s story about his weekend with Uncle Jeonghan and Joshua, letting him have a moment to walk Jeonghan to the door. 

“Yeah, I wanna know all the juicy details. Jihoon owes me 100 bucks.” 

Grinning as Seungcheol makes a face of disgust, Jeonghan waves at you and Matthew before walking out the door, leaving the three of you to yourself. Leaning against the wall, Seungcheol watches for a moment longer, his lip caught between his teeth as you run your fingers through Matthew’s hair lovingly while you explain the new job. 

“But, I’ll still see you all the time. I promise, okay? I just have to help other kids for the rest of the year.” 

Pouting a bit, Matthew wraps his hand around yours, pulling it into his lap before nodding. 

“Mmkay… as long as you come over all the time.” 

Smiling a bit sheepishly as he looks from you to his dad and back, Matthew kicks his legs and giggles, making you tilt your head as Seungcheol moves to the couch to sit next to you. 

“Daddy, does this mean that Miss Y/N can be my mommy now?” 

Blanching slightly, Seungcheol’s mouth falls open as he looks at you, watching your lips press together. Meeting his son’s eyes, he tries to speak before laughing and rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Uh, that’s adult business, son. I don’t know. Maybe one day. You know if Y/N will have your daddy as a husband.” 

Looking away to hide your embarrassed smile, you clear your throat as Matthew giggles once again and slides from your arms to his dad’s. 

“I think that’s a yes. All the boys on the TV show Uncle Shua liked got down on their knees and just asked. Most of the girls said yes, even though they were behind a wall!” 

His eyes widening, Seungcheol looks at you as you laugh and brings your fingers to your lips before speaking. 

“I thought you said you guys watched educational videos?” 

Looking down at his hands, realizing he had said too much, Matthew grins and shrugs. 

“I didn’t say nothing.” 

Eyes narrowing, Seungcheol presses his fingers into his son’s side, tickling him as he shakes his head. 

“I need to have a talk with your uncles about teaching you how to lie and letting you watch garbage.” 

Smiling, you watch the two people you love the most as they laugh and end up hugging when Seungcheol kisses Matthew’s cheek. You could get used to seeing this every day. 

You had thought that after you had helped Seugcheol get Matthew to bed, you might sneak back to your apartment, but then he wrapped his fingers around your wrist and pouted. That was how you ended up on his bed, his lips on your neck as you whined softly, doing your best to keep your voice down, feeling him smile against your skin. 

“Seung–Seungcheol, please. I’m trying to be quiet. I’m not sure I can do this. What if we wake up, Matthew? How do we even explain—” 

Leaning back, Seungcheol meets your eyes and purses his lips before sliding off the bed and offering you his hand. Taking a breath to calm down, you put your fingers on his and let him guide you off the bed and towards the connected ensuite. 

“We don’t have to explain anything, baby. He’s a heavy sleeper, but if you are worried.” 

Leaning against the counter of the double sink, you watch as Seungcheol leans into the glass shower to turn it on. The sound of water fills your ears and you smile as the man you had grown to adore beyond words looks back at you for praise as if he had just moved the earth for you. 

“Smart…” 

Nodding along with your words, Seungcheol moves back over to you, sliding the skirt of your sundress up your legs to your hips. 

“I mean, I am a doctor. It’s a requirement.” 

Smacking his chest, you listen to Seungcheol’s laugh and it makes you feel warm and safe. Lifting your arms, you let him quickly undress you, dropping your dress on the counter before he takes a knee and hooks his fingers into your panties, shimmying them down your legs. 

“You don’t look half bad on your knee, Dr. Choi.” 

Seungcheol lifts his brow, a smirk pulling at one side, before he leans to press a kiss to your leg, discarding your panties to the side. You run your fingers through his hair, enjoying the feeling of his soft lips on your skin, chill bumps spreading under his kisses. 

“You like me on my knee? Wanna see me like this again?” 

Your cheeks burning, you bite at your lips and hide your smile as you look away from his eyes as Seungcheol looks up at you before rising to his feet once again. Turning your head back towards him, Seungcheol brushes his lips over yours as steam starts to fill the room. He could feel the warmth on your cheeks under his fingers as he ran his thumb along your cheekbone towards your hairline. 

“Hm? I asked you something, baby girl.” 

Whining his name, you take a breath as Seungcheol takes a step back to tug off his shirt and quickly get rid of his pants and boxers before offering you his hand once again. 

“You can’t ask me things like that. It’s too soon.” 

Shaking his head, Seungcheol leads you towards the shower, opening the door for you and following you inside. His eyes move along your body as the water hits your skin and you lean your head back into the stream of water with a smile on your face. Lifting his free hand, Seungcheol runs it between your breasts and down your stomach as the smile on his lips grows. 

“Too soon for what? For me to already be thinking about wanting to marry you? Shit, I was thinking about that the night we drank wine until 2 in the morning on my couch.” 

Licking water from your lips, you lift your head to look at Seungcheol as he speaks to you. His words make you feel hot and almost speechless. He had wanted you for that long? He had wanted you that way for that long. 

Meeting your eyes for a second, Seungcheol lets out a soft hum of appreciation at the dazed look on your face before his middle finger drags between your folds and your knees buckle. Quickly wrapping his arm around your waist, he groans as he turns your back towards the shower wall and lets you rest against it. 

“I’m in it for the long haul, baby. I think you know that. Is that something you’d want? Hm? What was Matthew asking earlier? To be his mommy?” 

Your lips fall open in a moan of Seungcheol’s name as you feel two of his fingers hook into you and his palm rests against your clit. Lifting your leg, you wrap one around his waist, letting him keep you upright as you try to think straight, only managing to babble incoherently. You weren’t sure how he wanted you to think clearly and come up with logical words when his fingers were so deep in you. 

“Tell me… I really wanna know. Doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen tonight, but... I won’t lie, thinking about you like that—as my wife…” You feel Seungcheol shiver as a grin pulls at his lips against your jaw. “It turns me on.” 

You knew Seungcheol was romantic and now you knew he had particular kinks. God you were in trouble. You were in trouble of being in constant pleasure if you did end up being this man's wife. Holding onto Seungcheol’s biceps, you whisper his name as his lips brush against yours before nodding and feeling him nod in return. 

“You do? Yeah? Can you say it for me? I wanna hear it. Indulge me, sweetheart.” 

Whining, you lean your head back against the shower wall as you feel yourself starting to fall over the edge. Tears threaten to spill from your eyes from pleasure as you whimper and your mouth falls open, cum slipping down Seungcheol’s fingers as you moan out the words he wants to hear. 

“I would; I would wanna be your wife, Cheol. I love you.” 

Bracing himself against the wall, palm flat against it, Seungcheol groans, feeling himself unable to hold back. It’s not everything he has to give you, but you are surprised to feel warm cum on your stomach, drawing your eyes downward. 

“Oh, my god...”

Sighing, Seungcheol laughs, a bit embarrassed, before pushing off the wall and sliding his fingers out of you. Wiping his mouth clean of water, he uses his other hand to hold your leg to his hip as before, stroking his still hard cock a couple times and lining himself up with your eager pussy. 

“I told you I liked the idea of it. I love you, too. Fuck…” 

The last word out of Seungcheol’s mouth is drawn out as he slips himself inside of you with some effort. In this position, you were even tighter than he was used to. He had taken you to bed a few times over the weekend, but never like this and you had never sucked his cock in like you were trying to milk him dry. 

Holding your hip tightly, Seungcheol meets your eyes as you let out a soft gasp, feeling his hips meet yours. At this angle, you felt like he was going to tear you apart, but you weren’t complaining. There was bad pain, and then there was this. This was that sweet, satisfying pain that led to so much pleasure that you saw stars, and you were starting to see them. 

Lips meeting yours, Seungcheol groans into the kiss as he grinds his hips against yours, finding it harder to move after a few deep thrusts when you clamp down over him and cum once again. Scratching at his wet skin, you bite down into his bottom lip before leaning back from his kiss to pant out his name when Seungcheol groans so deep it sounds like a growl. 

He had made love to you before; there had truly been a difference between that and now. The way his fingers were bruising your hips and the way his hips were slapping against yours—now he was fucking you. You knew you wouldn’t be able to tell him which way you preferred, even as you watched his mouth fall open as he cums once again, this time filling you and pushing it out with each deep thrust. 

“Holy shit, baby.” 

Furrowing your brows, you let out a soft gasp as Seungcheol slips from you and lowers your leg safely back to the floor. Keeping your back to the wall, you take a few deep breaths, feeling his fingers running along your sides as his lips press to your throat, up your jaw, and finally to your lips before you smile. 

“That was…” 

Nodding to agree with you, Seungcheol laughs against your lips before taking a step back to step under the showerhead, feeling the warm water run over his body. Opening your eyes, you can’t help the way you shyly look at him before laughing and looking away, making him grin as he reaches for his shampoo with a tilt of his head. 

“What? Are you shy now? Is this about being in the shower with me or, uh, wife talk?” 

Wrinkling your nose, you knock your head back against the shower wall before pushing off of it and towards Seungcheol. Watching him follow you with curious eyes, you sigh and lift your arms to run your fingers through his hair, spreading around the shampoo as you speak, feeling his hands running over your hips. 

“The last part. It is a little fast. but I—is it bad that I like it too? Maybe I want that? Not now!” You are quick to add on the last to your sentence, making Seungcheol laugh before he leans his head back into the water, washing out the shampoo from his hair. “Just in the future, with you?” 

Taking a breath, Seungcheol runs his fingers through his hair and then holds on to your waist, switching positions under the shower head to let you stand there as he grabs body wash to start spreading it over your body slowly. 

“Not at all. I want it... in the future.” 

Smiling brightly, Seungcheol meets your eyes as you whine, feeling overwhelmed. Leaning to kiss your nose, he sighs and spreads the soapy water along your body as he nods. 

“Did I ever tell you that if I got married again, I’d love to have my honeymoon in Barcelona?” 

He was great at breaking the tension. You couldn’t help the smile that pulled up at your lips or the laugh that spilled from between them as you shook your head, turning in his arms to let him wash your back. 

“No? Well, that’s my dream destination. I’ve never been, and what better place to go with my bride?” 

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[rafedaddy01]

Baby Mama

-

Holy shit. That’s all that’s on Rafes mind as you stare at him with those eyes and your lips move with the question he never thought he’d hear. He liked the idea, he’s pissed at himself for not thinking of it, it’s perfect.

“Don’t worry Rafey, your wife will never know. We’ll just tell her we did it at the doctors, like she wanted” you convince him with your sweet words and hands that can’t get enough of Rafes body. This was your plan all along. From the moment you saw the ad for a surrogate. You’ve been eyeing rafe for a while now. He’s rich, good looking, and everything you’ve ever dreamed of. Who cares if he has a wife, that could easily be solved, and this was the answer to all your prayers.

You’re on all fours as Rafes hips move back and forth, eliciting all sorts of sounds from you. Your eyes roll back as he grunts with the force of his thrust, giving you everything he can. “Fuck. You dirty little slut, wanting me to cum inside you so you can give me a baby. Bad girl” he smacks your ass hard as you jolt forward from the pain but your mouth gives you away as you moan. “M’sorry daddy, just wanted to feel your cock inside me” he grunts from your foul words and continues his monstrous torture on your pussy.

“I’m gonna fuck a baby into you and then you’re gonna be all mine. Mine to use whenever I want, mine to kiss whenever I want, and mine to fuck whenever I want” his hips speed up if it’s even humanly possible, your nails digging into the mattress and your sure their tearing it to shreds, but you don’t care. It feels too good, you don’t want it to ever stop and the idea of being his makes your insides tingle.

It’s too bad rafe doesn’t know your on birth control, after all it was your plan all along. No way you’d actually want to get fat and bloated just to give him and his snotty wife a baby. This was simply for your own pleasure. And you got what you wanted as rafe groaned behind you, his hips slowing as you felt your pussy fill with his white substance and your legs shook with the force of your own orgasm. He pulled your head back by your hair, turning your face towards his and kissing your lips hard. “I really hope it didn’t work so we get to do that again”

Taglist

@f4ll-for-you @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx @spencerreidsrealgf @rafescokenostril @thievin-stealing @rafemotherfuckingcameron @dilvcv @starkeysheart

[genderless-naper]

muddy problems

trafalgar law x gf!reader

warnings: fluffy law

sfw, wc: 1k, lowercase intended !

helping your tired law through shower time

law walks through the halls of the polar tang tirelessly. he didn’t expect the most recent encounter with another pirate ship to be such a headache to handle. the captain of the opposing crew was was a devil fruit user: the user of the mud-mud fruit.

needless to say, it was hard for anyone to contain their laughter when law walked passed looking like he just got out of a mud bath. he wouldn’t usually be this forgiving, but he was simply too tired to deal with them. he kicked off his shoes before entering his room.

he saw you laying in his bed reading a book without a care in the world. his gaze softened slightly while drawing a loud breath to release some tension. you looked up at the raven-haired man.

you stared. he stared back.

you hold a hand over your mouth to suppress a laugh. it took every fiber in your body to restrain yourself from rolling on the floor in laughter.

you cleared your throat to greet him, “who knew the tough trafalgar law would fall victim to a mud bath in the middle of a fight?”

law doesnt reply to your statement. instead he focuses on discarding ed his current wear to avoid getting the place more dirty. he had bigger problems to worry about than some rhetoric questions. he needed to get clean fast. the mud on him started to make him feel suffocated.

he looks for a clean pair of clothes to wear for post shower. you close your book and put it on the bedside table so you can follow him. still fighting back laughs you continue to ask, “how many shampoo rinses do you think it takes for that mess to get out your hair?”

law sighs in his tired state and mumbles, “hopefully no more than 3”

you cant help but let a laugh escape, “just 3?? don’t you think you’re being s bit too generous captain? i was thinking at least 5!”

he groans quietly. it was clear the doctor was more exhausted than he would like to admit. you felt bad for your poor lover. as much as you would like to pick on him and his unusual circumstances you knew that wasn’t what law needed right now. he needed your support.

you ran to the bathroom to get his shower started for him. you made sure the temperature was just how he liked it. he followed momentarily; throwing his clean clothes on the shelf of the bathroom as a yawn escapes his lips.

he continues to discard the remainder of his mud soaked clothes while carefully placing them in a bag. he checked the temperature before getting in. another sigh escaping his lips. you smiled contently watching the way the water rolls off his skin, his muscles stretching with every moment, and how his lips part perfectly.

his rinses his hair with shampoo over and over. each wash just made him feel like the mud would never get out. after a few more moments he gives up. he decided to sit for a moment and let the water hit his strained body as he rubs his tired eyes.

you sympathize with you poor boyfriend. you turn the water off and rub his tense shoulders, “maybe i should help you baby? you see like you’ve had a long day”

law, being too prideful to accept your help, shook his head and responded lowly, “i just need a second..”

you hum, “you take a second and ill work on getting this mud out your hair.” you lathered the soup onto your palms and massaged it into the raven colored hair. you were on your knees to match his height as he sat. you massaged his scalp in order to clean every strand.

law’s senses of alertness slowly slipped away. he closed his eyes, and tried his best to keep his head up straight. after swaying from side to side you decided its best to rest his head on your chest as you worked through his hair. he created a soapy mess on your shirt. the man was too engulf in his own drowsiness to notice. you hum a sweet tune into his ear and watched as most his tense muscles relaxed with your touch.

he would never let anyone close like he has with you. sometimes he feels stupid to let his barriers come down for you, and feeling too afraid that something bad will happen to you as well. as much as law protests against himself he still finds himself sharing cherished intimate moments with you.

you guide the heavy-lidded man through the rest of his shower while reciting words of encouragement. getting your shirt wet in the process was a small price to pay to help your lover. once the shower concluded you turn it off and hand him his towel.

the tattooed man dries himself with it slowly. he slightly furrows his brows and points to your shirt, “why are you all wet?” completely oblivious to the consequences of his actions. you shook your head and giggled, “no specific reason baby”

he gave you an apologetic look after realizing he was the reason for your current soaked state. you quickly disregarded with lines of ‘it’s okay’s and ‘don’t worry’s. you gave him his clothes once he’s ready.

he grabs your arms and holds them up to pull your drenched shirt off. he wore his clean shirt on you, “i dont want you to get sick y/n, especially if its because of me.” you were going to protest against, but after seeing the look of anxiousness taking ahold of him you decided its best to accept his acts of kindness.

he always does everything in his power to make sure you are well; afraid to live in a world where he has to grieve you along with other which were once present in his life. it shows very much during moments like these. you place a few kisses on his lips feeling luckier than a lottery winner. you helped your tired boy navigate through the rest of his routine before he fell into bed. he lifted the cover up to make sure you followed in his steps. the mud-soaked version of himself from earlier that day became a part of the past. he enjoyed what he had at that very moment, and that was your beautiful self with a smile that lights your face. it was truly able to cure any disease of his heart. that night law had no trouble falling into an imaginative dream where you two lived together without a care in the world

[anki-of-beleriand]

A heart Made of Glass ch. 13

Summary: Ten years ago you left Wanda and the Avengers to heal your broken heart. You never stopped being a hero, just as you never stopped being in love with her. But life had to go on.

Now, after all that time, she is back and with her is a young woman needing help and an enemy that may not be as afraid as Wanda to lay a claim on you.

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Powered!F!Reader - Scarlet Witch x PoweredF!Reader - Past Wanda Maximoff x Vision

Warnings: Angst, drama, mentions of cheating, fluff, violence, smut, Switch!Reader, internalize homophobia, hurt, comfort, Wanda being a complete mess, anger management issues, jealousy, Requited/Unrequited love, idiots in love, swearing, mentions of alcohol. More tags as the story progess.

Author's Note: This story is a continuation of Dirty Little Secret I was really surprised at the response I got for the story, I did all the tags you guys ask for but if I forgot someone please do not hesitate to tell me. Thank you for the support.

Oh, I am back and this chapter is a wrap-up for the confrontation between Reader and Wanda. They had been given a moment of solitude before going back to their own reality, can they really get past through everyting that happened to them in the past?

Please, do remember English is no my mother tongue so forgive my grammar, spelling and funny mistakes.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Epilogue

Chapter 13

Can we change the past?

You never imagined this ordeal would end in the way it did.

The universe you left behind came crumbling down under the weight of its own shaky foundations, it became a cold unfitting world that disappear the moment you and the others touched the land of another Universe.

Everything was kind of blurry from the on.

You knew Wanda was taken away, and soon after you were also being carried to a room in which you lost consciousness after your body finally gave up. Your mind didn’t have the time to think about what had happened or what would happen after you were completely recover. You let things happened, and in that time you gave yourself to a blissful mindfulness in which you knew, sooner or later, you would need to face everything you had been running from.

It soon became evident that time was running out, with people coming in and out of your room checking over your physical and mental well-being before asking uneasy questions. Sometimes you would evade those questions, and some others you would give vague answers that would tell the others you were no fool.

You stretched out grasping thin air in your fist, tilting your head you started making a small sequence of Tai Chi you had learnt from Yelena. After more than a week of being in the hospital, you were finally able to feel your body as yours again. Your muscles flexed, and the shadows under your feet stirred with the silent command of your thoughts. You smiled glancing at your reflection through the window, everything was working just fine and you knew you were ready to go back home.

The door behind you cracked, and the knob turned to the left revealing the single figure of Doctor Jean Grey. The woman was beautiful, and her smile was infectious always putting your mind at ease.

“Hello, Y/N, how are you this morning?”

“Doc, I’m doing better now, thank you.” You spined around slowly, the shadows wavering around until they covered your feet, your smile grew cocking your head to follow the lead of your left arm then your right one.

“I certainly felt much better now.”

“I can see that.” The woman smile stepping closer to your bed while placing a single file on the breakfast table.

“Tell me you cam here with good news.”

Jean offered a single smile while taking a seat, she sat waiting for you to settle down on the bed. The room soon filled with silence that was only broken by the busy morning routine right outside your room. You had learnt your room was in one of the busiest wings in the hospital back in the Tower. Wanda had not been that lucky, though.

“Well, I do come with news, if they are good or not depend entirely on you.” Jean could see the change in you, even through the easy smile you wore the young doctor could see you were being overly cautious.

“Okay, I’m listening.”

Doctor Jean Gray sauntered inside the room with a light blush on her cheeks. Her eyes twinkling merrily glancing at the chart in her hands before settling then on you.

For some reason, the reaction of the woman made you squirm uncomfortably. You had been in this universe for two days now, but it wasn't until now that you were forced to go inside the examination room and get yourself a quick check-up. It was quite evident that in this world mutants and superpowered individuals were treated differently, and the rules governing each one of them were set to get control on the population. 

“You seemed rather chirp today, Doc, good news for you or me?”

Jean chuckled, placing the chart on the bed before putting a chair close to the bed.

“It's my anniversary, and I received quite the news today.” She stated tilting her head, you smiled back at her.

“Congratulations, then.” 

Jean nodded, putting a strand of hair out of her face, “thank you.”

“So that would be for you, what about me?” You finally asked leaning forward, your eyes drifting to the chart in your bed.

“Everything seems to be okay.”

“But…?” You arched a brow when Jean leaned back on the chair offering a serious facade.

“You had been quite silent in the last couple of days, keeping yourself out of everyone's way and most importantly,” here Jean stopped as if measuring her words, “your avoidance of your particular predicament has raised some concerns on our end.”

Silence followed such a declaration, you dared to lock eyes with the woman sitting in front of you well-aware of her ability to read beyond your initial thoughts. Jean didn't move nor did she give any indication of breaking into small talk, I stead she seemed to sit there and wait patiently for you to speak.

“I’m not sure I want to have this conversation.” You sighed, lifting a hand to the back of your head, scratching the nape of your neck. “But I guess it is inevitable.”

“It is.” Jean softened her features, grabbing the file she left on your bed, she opened it in a single page while presenting the form to you.

“How…how is she?” Your voice was above a whisper, but it was loud enough for Jean to hear it.

The woman leaned back letting you read the file while she started talking. 

“She is doing better now, trying to recover her magical core had been quite the challenge but our own team of witches and healers had come together to help around.” 

There was nothing much you could do but nod, your eyes drifted to the file with your thoughts trying to focus on a single issue at a time. Ever since the five of you got to that universe everything had been but a blur; your Wanda was taken straight to the hospital and she had been looked after Tony's team back in the Avengers Tower. 

“That's good.”

“I just want to do one last check-up before clearing you up, America has been waiting for you and the twins are very excited as well.” Jean chuckled, standing up making her way to the closest drawer and putting some surgical gloves out. “They seemed to think that having a pair of moms at their disposal would give them some kind of advantage in their mischief.”

You tried to hide your expression from the other woman, but it was inevitable. Jean offered a sympathetic smile while getting to work. 

“They are just children…” you mumbled feeling your body warm up, your muscles twitching just as Jean started testing your reflex. “I don't think they understand that much.”

“Mm, you would be surprised how much Billy and Tommy understand about the situation.” Jean leaned back, lifting her left hand and letting it hover right on top of your forehead. “They are pretty smart, and sensitive.”

You pressed your lips together not wanting to go into a discussion. Not that you could raise any arguments against that statement, you had noticed just how sensitive they were and how smart they were. They had come that first time into your room calling you mom without a care in the world, telling you about their day while also making you aware of how they had sneaked in to see you and Wanda.

Your counterpart had been amused by your reaction, while her Wanda had been just a tad bit concerned about the confusion the whole situation could create in the children. 

“If I were to be honest, you look more confused than them.”

“You told me you don't read minds unless you have permission.” You replied furrowing your brows, Jean had the sense of looking embarrassed but never lost her smile when looking back at you.

“You kind of scream that thought at me, sometimes it is inevitable.”

Jean then leaned back, grabbing your file and writing some notes down. 

“I think you're ready to go.” Jean cocked her head when the first thing you did was jump down the bed and go to the closest chair holding your clothes. “But Wanda…”

You winced, grabbing your clothes tightly before turning around, this time around Jean was looking serious, her eyes gleaming lightly.

“What about Wanda?”

The silence grew around the both of you, your body was already tensing the muscles you would need to run. Jean opened her mouth only to close it again as if she didn't know what to say or how to say it. 

“I think you should visit her, it can make a difference in her recovery.”

At the end of the day, this last visit from Jean Grey was just that, another attempt from these people to go to Wanda and make sure she was okay. For you to stop running and face her taking ownership of what would happen next.

It was complicated.

And you were unsure as to how to proceed or what was expected of you.

“Look, I just…”

“MOM!!!!”

Not sooner had you heard such a scream, you found yourself being tackled by a pair of bouncing kids. Your heart skipped a beat with your arms lifted at your shoulders height while the kids had their faces up to look at you with toothy grins. They were quite adorable, and in reality a part of you seemed to just instantly loved them, noticing the likeness they had to Wanda and yourself.

“Okay, guys let’s back up a little, remember what we talked to you about?” 

The room was suddenly very crowded, your counterpart came right in followed by America and Pietro. It became quite apparent that everyone was waiting for Jean to finish her last check-up on you before getting into the room and see how you were doing. You placed your hands on the twin’s heads ruffling their hair playfully while offering a tentative smile. 

“That’s okay, I’m getting used to the enthusiastic greeting.”

“And them calling you mom?” Pietro inquired, quaking his brow while placing his hands in his pockets.

You couldn’t help the little wince, recoiling from the comment with your body turning to the chair and grabbing your clothes once more. Billy and Tommy glanced at one another, with Billy opening his eyes really big while making a gesture with his head. 

“Anyway, I’m just glad to know your good to go, because I was thinking we can go right ahead and get a look around and perhaps…” America started babbling making her way to your bed.

You nodded absentmindedly, your attention drifting for a moment to your counterpart and Jean that had decided to step out of the room to have a small conversation. You couldn’t help but wonder what exactly was going on, and what they were discussing with your thoughts going over and over to the woman that was still unconscious somewhere inside the building. 

Everything was strange in this universe. 

A part of you knew that sooner or later the conversation of Wanda and you going back to your respective reality would come; but it was quite evident everyone was waiting for the right moment to intervene and perhaps get something done. 

“Well, I think you better change so we can get out of here,” Pietro broke your line of thoughts, his eyes gleaming mischievously with his lips curling into a familiar expression. “Billy and Tommy prepare something for you, and I bet you are dying to eat something that isn’t hospital food.”

“You are completely right on that one, I’m going to change and then…you guys can show me a good time.”

You offered a tentative smile, your heart dropping for a moment when the twins cheered babbling non-stop to America and Pietro. For a brief moment you wondered…

…was this what you were missing back home?

_______________

You had been welcomed inside the household of your counterpart. 

This time around, the guest room had been prepared and you could enjoy the joys of a soft bed and a nice view of the backyard while trying to get some sleep. The day had been quite unexpected, with the twins and America being active participants in different forms of conversations and different sets of games and rambles that you were not prepared to share with these people.

You had tried to get away from it, but Billy and Tommy were very adamant on having you close and including you in every single moment of their afternoon. You didn’t fight too hard to not be there, though. After a while you realised Wanda would not be joining the family outing and actually your counterpart ended up being just a good source of geek material that differed from the one you had in your own world. 

Not for a single moment did anyone mention the white elephant in the room.

And for that you were quite grateful.

But now, in the middle of the night with the stars twinkling above your head and everyone sleeping in the house you couldn't help but think about it. Time was running out, sooner or later you would need to go back and face the consequences of what happened back in Norway and in that other universe. 

Sooner or later you would need to face Wanda once more.

“It is pretty late for you to be thinking so loud.” 

You kept your attention on the stars, the room was completely dark which was one of the reasons as to why you knew she had come home already. The young woman took a few steps forward until she was standing beside you, her face turned to the sky with her arms hugging her tightly.

“I just couldn’t go back to sleep.” You shrugged leaning against the wall, your head tilted to the side. “It was quite an exciting day, I think I’m still in a sugar rush.”

Wanda chuckled, lowering her head, her eyes gleaming lightly, turning her attention to you.

“So I heard. The twins really took you everywhere and made sure you taste everything back in the restaurant, didn’t they?”

Your face fell when the memories of that day came back, the twins had never left your side while telling you stories about their adventures. Not for a single moment did they think or even entertained the idea of them not being part of your life in your other world. For them it had been natural to make sure that you and Wanda did not forget about them. That was one of the reasons why it had been a shock for them to find out you and they didn’t know about that restaurant.

“You should tell our other selves about this place, mom! I know they will love it!”

“Yeah, we love it, and you love bringing us here!”

It still burnt that this life was not yours, but there was nothing you could do. 

Wanda could read your thoughts; she could sense your pain and it was something she couldn’t take. Not with you. Wanda dropped her arms, stepping closer to you. Her hand felt warm on your face, brushing away your hair and mapping out the form of your jaw. It was so unexpected you couldn’t help but freeze in place the tension evident in the contraction of your muscles, your left foot stepping back and stopping waiting for the other foot to join. It didn’t happen, though, you stood there waiting for something else to happen. 

“They are good kids.” Your voice trembled at the very end of that sentence, but your eyes never waver in their hold of those green irises.

“They are. They are very much your children as much as they are mine.” Wanda offered a timid smile that soon vanished, whatever hold she had on you broke and the young woman turned around as if ready to leave. 

The tension in your body didn’t leave, and your mind was poking at you uncomfortably pressing over for you to speak. To say something, to ask the question you were dying to ask but didn’t dare to do so. It looked as if nothing else was going to be said that day, as if nothing else was going to happen and you were trying to get a hold of your beating heart when Wanda stopped by the door turning to the side and locking her eyes with yours.

“You will need to face her sooner or later, Y/N.” Wanda let her words sink in, her eyes softening lightly when she could sense the conflict inside of you. 

“Do I have to?” The question left your lips before you could stop it, Wanda lifted her shoulder stepping back. 

“I think you know the answer to that question,” she stated letting out a tired yawn, “what you really need to ask yourself, though is what would happen if that confrontation doesn’t come the way you expect it to be? What if it becomes everything you thought impossible with her? Are you ready to face that conversation? Are you ready to make a decision for you and her?”

You hated the fact this Wanda was so insightful and you hated even more that she was right. That was the real reason as to why you couldn’t sleep, as to why you were trying to bury your emotions and your memories, while also running away from what you were experimenting with. Of the changes that had come knocking on your door all those months ago.

“Have a good night, Y/N, rest and follow your instincts on this one because they…” Wanda left the sentence in the air, and it was you the one to finish it.

“They had never failed me.”

There was a flash of a smile and then Wanda left, closing the door behind her. 

___________________

But trying to follow your instincts was easier said than done.

A part of you knew the meeting was inevitable, after all, the both of you needed to go back to your respective Universe and this would never happen if you two kept on avoiding one another. But then, there was another part, the one you had been carrying with you for far too long, that was afraid of a confrontation that might broke your heart all over again.  

You played with time for as long as you could, taking advantage of Tony’s curiosity and Loki’s infinite questions. You became very helpful of Wong and Hank’s questions, and you couldn’t help but give in the twin’s whims every night before going to bed. Nevertheless, you had the days count on that universe, and it wasn’t as if you really wished to stay. You missed home, and you missed your friends and family; but the final step to get everything ready to go back was something you had never felt ready to do.

On the fifth morning you woke up on a guest room, you knew you couldn't run anymore. America had finished her breakfast and Y/N was reading the paper, no one did or said anything for a moment until you sat at the table with the coffee warming up the mug in your hands.

“Wanda is fully recovered.” Your counterpart stated, never leaving her eyes from the page she was reading, “she is confused, a little weak but ready to talk and go back home.”

“Talk?” You asked a little harsher than you were meant to.

Y/N lifted a single brow, her lips pursing tightly.

“With you.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but a kick on your leg made you stop. America was glaring at you, her head shaking slightly opening her eyes and glancing meaningfully at your counterpart.

“I know, I just…”

Y/N sighed, closing the paper and placing it slowly on the counter. Her eyes pierced you with a gaze filled with emotion, you shifted on the chair trying to look away but unable to do so.

“Whether you want it or not, you will need to have this confrontation. Whatever you are afraid of facing…I think you should get your shit together and face it right away. You are running out of time, and excuses.”

Your counterpart finished her tirade with a slap to the table, shaking her head as she stood up and left the kitchen. You cocked your head until you found America glancing at you.

“I guess there is no running from this, is it?”

America shrugged, biting her lower lip, “I guess not.”

You lowered your eyes to the counter before lifting them to ensure America was paying attention to you.

“Once this is over, are you staying or are you coming back with us?” The question caught her off of guard, America was looking shocked and her mouth tried to form a specific thought but was unable to respond right away.

You chuckled standing up, your hand on her shoulder.

“You would be more than welcome back home, but I know you missed this place greatly.” You squeezed her shoulder before walking away, a single wall of dark shadows spreading before you. “Think about it, America, I'll be back in a few hours and we will talk about me and Wanda going back home.”

“I will think about it.” America mumbled offering a half smile. “Good luck.”

You winked at her trying to show more confidence than you actually felt before crossing over the shadows and disappearing into them. The trip was short, with the shadows embracing you with a cold hold leading through the space until you stepped inside a dimly lit hall.

The place was completely silent, though you could make out the sound of chatter in the distance. You lowered your gaze to the floor, our ears twitching lightly ignoring the rest of the sounds and focusing on your heartbeat.

The last couple of months have been a complete rollercoaster for you. You never imagined, even in your wildest dreams, that Wanda would show at your doorstep with a young woman asking for help. For a very long time, you had put in the back of your mind the confrontation with Wanda. A part of you knew it would come, eventually. But you never intended to be the one to take the first step for the meeting to happen.

When you got to see Wanda face to face, and actually talk to her, your world came crumbling down around you. The barriers you had built around your heart and mind ended up not being as strong and resilient as thought them to be. Your heart still missed a beat at the sound of her laughter, and your hardened façade went away as soon as you saw the suffering and the heartbreak in those green eyes.

Wanda would always be one of your greatest weaknesses. 

And you hated yourself for that.

It was as if your own suffering didn't matter, as long as Wanda was fine and didn't have to feel what you felt. Yet you refused to believe her words or even offer forgiveness for the wrong doings in the past. All of this came crashing down in a single meeting, all the doubts and pain came back, but also the yearning and the confusion you were threatening to overwhelm you and leave you without a way out. 

You took a deep breath, your hand running through your hair helping your uneasiness. You closed for a brief moment, and your mind went blank emptying any thoughts that might come in and make you falter in your actions. The last couple of days, and actually the last couple of months, you had thought about this moment; you had given yourself and her a chance to step aside and let the past in the past and for the both of you ready to face the present without thinking too much about the future.

The room was in complete darkness, the lights were out and the curtains were still closed. You could hear the monitor in the corner, the bed occupied the left side of the room leaving a big sofa and a couple of chairs on the right. Hanging from the wall you could see the TV that was huge enough to almost cover the wall, the only thing that prevented this from happening was the side door leading to the bathroom. Tony was really into luxury, you closed the door behind you a little unsure on how to proceed.

The tension around the room only increased when you felt a pair of eyes on you. It didn't take too long for you to know who it was, you stepped forward making your way to the curtains. 

“Would you mind if I open them up? I prefer the natural light of the day instead of the artificial ones.” You turned lightly, finally locking your eyes with those of Wanda.

Your Wanda.

“That's fine.” She replied, her voice was but a whisper but you could get the strong laced tone that Scarlet used whenever she talked to you.

The room changed under the light of the day, while there was not much sun the sky was cloudless and the position of the tower as well as the floor you two were currently in allowed for the perfect setting for natural light. You glanced around a city that was familiar yet strange, the weight of that stare didn't leave you, not even when you finally turned around to lock eyes with her.

“You look fine.” Wanda lowered her chin, her fingers twitching on top of the bed wanting to do or say something else but unsure where her relationship with you stood at the moment.

“I wasn't that badly injured, but I think I did need the rest.” You took a step forward, then another until you were actually standing beside Wanda.

Wanda hesitated for a moment before moving to the left, she chewed on her lower lip before patting the spot on the bed.

“You can sit here, if … if you want, there is also a chair and…” whatever else Wanda was going to say was cut off by you taking her initial offer of sitting on the bed.

Wanda felt her heart do somersaults, her body tingling at your closeness and the little voice she had come to recognize as Scarlet’s whispering to her telling her to close the distance, to grab your hand, to not let you go. But she held back knowing that her position was precarious at best and whatever you had come to discuss with her needed to be addressed first. 

“How are you?” You fixed your position on the bed, well aware that the only thing you needed was to lower your arm and your hand would be touching Wanda's one. 

“I'm better now, a little sore and getting use to…” here Wanda trailed off with her brows creasing a little, “to be complete, I guess. It's difficult, but I think I am ready.”

Her words held a decisive tone, but her eyes were flashing the doubts running inside her mind. You realised right there and then that nothing much had changed in the last couple of years, there were things you could still read about her. 

“Ready for what?” You asked quietly, Wanda sighed shrugging.

“Going back.” She replied simply. “Getting out of your way, out of your life…I did promise you after all of this was over I wouldn't bother you any more…”

Her words stung your heart, spreading an electrifying pain all through your body until it hit your brain. You didn't understand why, exactly. That had been the deal, to help her out and then get her out of your life. Then, if you knew what was going to happen, how it would end, why were you having these doubts? Why did it hurt?

Wanda was in her own thoughts, a part of her she had tried to suppress, the one she tried to deny stirred in anger. Wanda wanted to speak out, to tell you she didn't want to go and that she certainly didn't want to pretend nothing had happened in the last couple of months. That seeing you had been one of her greatest joys in life, but it had also brought pain and sadness, that being in this universe seeing the twins and facing what could have been…

Without really noticing, tears started falling rolling down her cheeks while her heart shrank with the weight of her emotions. Wanda refused to give in, her fists closing tightly and her tears breaking her composure and without really wanting to she finally broke in front of you.

You observed the full process, the way her face changed and the tears pilling up her eyes. Wanda was trying to bottle up whatever she was feeling, whatever she was thinking. It was so easy to ignore everything the other woman was experiencing; it was easy to hold onto your shared past. 

But this was Wanda.

And you couldn't ignore her. That was the reason why you had to disappear after the breakup.

With a tentative touch, you let your hand fall on top of hers. Your thumb drew circles before leaning in and wrapping her in a hug. Wanda held onto you, her sobs filling the room while her hands tried to grasp your clothes. You didn't say anything, but for some reason you could feel it.

The apology you never allowed her to share with you. The broken heart she had been wearing ever since that day. 

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry…”

Wanda cried and once she started she couldn't stop. Fixing your position on the bed you made sure she was comfortably resting her weight on your left side, putting comforting arms around her while soothing her body with sweet caresses you had dared to make in anyone but her.

Whatever conversation you were meant to have with her, whatever it was you had come to talk to her about soon crumbled under the pressure of her tears and your own feelings for her. 

And just like that, you knew you couldn't let her go.

Not without a real conversation.

And not without a fight.

______________________

Wanda was not completely sure when she fell asleep, but right now she was completely aware of being awake resting on top of you with the warmth and comfort of your presence soothing her soul.

Her body tensed right away, though soon she relaxed into the embrace having noticed your even breathing and the relaxed posture of your body. You had fallen asleep as well and, at some point the both of you had ended up sharing the small hospital bed without anyone coming over to interrupt that moment.

Wanda nuzzled her face against your neck, she wished this was something she would share with you every day. How she had missed waking up in your arms, to see your smile in the mornings and your hyperactive body demand for the morning routine. Everything was so messed up, and she didn't know when she allowed her world to crumble into nothingness.

Her heart trembled with emotion, and her thoughts formed an idea Wanda knew was not completely hers but a figment of Scarlet. 

You have to fight back! You need to get her back! You need to tell her everything we discovered! Everything we know!

Her voice was demanding, yet it held a hint of desperation that Wanda was familiar with. It was the same voice she had woken up to back in the battlefield after the snap, the same one she had heard countless of times whenever she thought about you or a way to recover her life. Everything had been so complicated, yet it could had been so easy to recover her life to actually try to make a change and reconcile with everyone.

There were no more tears in her eyes, and the sadness and sorrow she had lived with all her life was a burden she was tired to carry with her. With some reluctance, Wanda let go of you stirring in the bed while trying to be careful in her movements, she missed your closeness and the warm that your body had provided but it was time for her to stand up.

You need to fight for her, you cannot lose her. Not again.

The voice echoed inside her head, and Wanda knew this time around she couldn’t allow her fears to stop her from at least getting a chance to be your friend. With that thought in mind, Wanda stood on weakened feet gathering her strength before walking towards the closes wardrobe and grabbing some clothes. She gave you one last glance before making her way to the bathroom, she would need to get ready for what would come next.

It was the cold what wake you up.

The cold and the fact you missed the weight of someone resting on your left side, you sighed blinking owlishly while patting the side of the bed where you were pretty sure your companion had been resting. In those glorious moments between being awake and asleep, you were trying to grasp the reality of the woman you had been holding. Your memory groggily moving through the smell of her shampoo, and the softness of her skin and then…

You remembered.

Wanda had been crying, you had held her, you had fallen asleep…

You stood up so fast that you fell of the bed hitting your head against the night table, while hitting your ass on the ground.

“Ugh, fuck…”

“Are you…are you alright? What…did you fall off the bed?”

You wished you could hide, but instead of that you lifted your face to see Wanda standing by the bed trying to hold back her laughter just as her eyes gleamed with worry. You could sense the blush forming on your cheeks, while your whole body seemed to protest under the pain of the hits you got when falling.

“I…yes, I just…woke up too fast and…I fell off the bed.”

That was all that Wanda needed to start laughing, she couldn’t help herself. She had seen you woke up and then lose all control while getting your feet entangled on the sheets and falling on your ass. It had been funny, and the fact that you now looked all embarrassed and were pouting made for the scene not only something funny but quite adorable.

You huffed trying to stand up, rolling your eyes while the other woman held against the bed trying to control her laughter.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want, little witch…” the nickname slipped your lips without giving it a second thought. That made the laughter died and once more the room was filled with a tension neither one of you were ready to maintain.

“I’m sorry it’s just…your face, and the way you fell, so full of grace…”

“I bet.” You rolled your eyes trying to check your head and body before settling your eyes on Wanda.

The young woman had put on some jeans and a white blouse, while her hair was still wet after the bath. You furrowed your brows looking away while catching the time on the clock on the wall. It was almost midday, which would explain why you were so hungry all of a sudden.

“I guess you really are feeling better.”

Wanda bounced lightly checking her hands and body, she wouldn’t say she felt better but she certainly was tired of being in bed while letting everyone come in and out to check her over. This world had a peculiar way to treat people with powers and having so many people with magical abilities come in and check her magical core had been extenuating and rather uncomfortable. The only time she had felt at ease had been with her counterpart, and that had been a whole different situation.

“I just need to get out of here.” Wanda finally revealed offering a half smile, “I heard from one of the nurses they have a nice restaurant right across the street, it has sandwiches and pizza…perhaps…”

You blinked a couple of times at the suggestion, your hand went right away to your pocket and your wallet. You hope the money you carried with you had some sort of value on this place, with a shrugged you nodded your agreement.

“Sounds like a plan. Lead the way, then.”

Wanda couldn’t hide her smile at the acceptance, she turned around and grabbing a jacket dragged you out of the room making her way directly to the elevator at the end of the hall. None of them noticed the camera watching their every move or the shadowy figure hidden in a close-by room. Your counterpart smirked shaking her head, she owed her wife a nice dinner. Wanda had always been right. Always.

In the security room, Wanda Maximoff allowed a tiny smile on her face, she lifted her stare to Tony and Loki, both of them shook their heads still slightly confused about the interaction.

“Now, what?” Tony finally asked staring at Wanda then at Loki.

“Now, we wait.” Loki replied waving away his hand. “For now, I think they are right, I’m starving and you ought to feed us, Stark.”

“Why is it always my responsibility?”

“You’re the one with money.” Loki replied ignoring the indignant huff coming from the older man, and the amused chuckled from Wanda.

_________________________

The restaurant was almost empty.

There were a few empty tables in the back, the one you chose was perfect for a nice conversation by hiding you two away from imprudent ears. The place was cosy, with decorations of blue and green creating a magical atmosphere with the dim lights around the establishment and the sweet aroma of spices that made you remembered home. You sat down facing Wanda who was looking troubled at the moment.

The waitress dedicated you a timid smile while putting a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Welcome to the Sandwich Emporium, what can I get you today?” Her question was directed at you, and her eyes never even bothered to look away as you grabbed the menu she was offering.

“I’m not sure, what do you recommend?” You glanced at the menu then back at Wanda, the redhead was glaring at the menu pursing her lips lightly while you merely frowned.

“Well, that depends on what are you looking for,” her tone of voice didn’t leave anything to the imagination, and you couldn’t help but raise a single eyebrow at that. The young woman opened her eyes wide blushing profusely. “I mean…I…”

“She is having La Tricolore and I’m having La Tartuffo.” Wanda point two pictures on the menu, before handing it over to the waitress, her eyes gleaming strangely while you just blinked slightly confused. “And I’m having some water, and she is having a cappuccino.”

“Very well, I’ll be right back.” The young woman left rather quickly, her ears burning red after having come across the redhead.

You had your eyebrows raised glancing over at Wanda who was trying rally hard to ignore you. After a moment she finally let out a heavy sigh, her head turned away from you.

“La Tricolore has beef, cheese, some hazelnuts, and that pistachio cream you…” here Wanda trailed off opening her eyes when she realized what she had done. “I’m sorry, I…”

“I like it, sounds delicious.” You placed your hands on the table not really bothered by what had happened but rather confused. “I’m surprised you remember.”

“I never forget.” Wanda brushed her hair away lifting her face to finally lock her eyes with yours. “I always…remember, Y/N.”

“I remembered too, Wanda. I remembered everything.” You stated but whatever anger you had held it had given way to bitterness and sadness.

Wanda winced tapping on the table before wiggling her hands together.

“I…I never got to…” She tilted her head, and you could see the tears hidden behind those green eyes. “I’m sorry.”

It didn’t even cover what had happened, all the pain she had caused on that day. But those words made your soul tremble, you scoffed shaking your head leaning back on the seat.

“It is too late, don’t you think?” You could see your words hurt her, and everything you had lived up to that point came rushing in piling up inside your mind until you just put everything away and left what was important.

Wanda nodded defeated, “I know, I just…I never got to say it to you.”

But it wasn’t about asking for forgiveness, and you knew that. And Wanda was also well aware of the fact. The question was not about forgiveness, the question was if you could move forward after everything that had happened.

“I never got to say it, I messed up. I was so afraid, I just…I didn’t know what to do, how to react, how to…deal with everything.”

Wanda spoke with a clear desperation tinge in her words, you could see the crumbling behind her eyes, how her soul would tremble while trying to tell you everything that you didn’t want to hear ten years ago.

“Vision was convenient.” Wanda said, this time around she grabbed the seat tightly her body completely tensed making her neck hurt as she forced herself to keep her head up and look at you. “I was so afraid, so lost and…and It’s not an excuse! I deserve your hatred! I deserved your anger! I just…”

“You could have told me, you know?” You finally said when it was obvious Wanda couldn’t continue talking. “I was there for you, and I could have helped. I thought you trusted me but instead of telling me whatever was happening you…”

This was not the conversation the both of you were supposed to have, or at least it wasn’t supposed to be this way. You weren’t supposed to understand, but to stand your ground and tell Wanda how much of a bitch she had been. But the last couple of days had taught you something about yourself, about Wanda and what could have been. And if Wanda was confused you weren’t fairing any better.

“I know you don’t get it, and that’s okay because you grew with Natasha and then you have Fury and Maria and Yelena…” Wanda waved her hand weakly, her tears rolling down while her eyes revealed the deep sadness she had always carried with herself.

“I lost everything, and I didn’t know how to deal…and you were strong, and brave, you were not afraid of anything and I was only me.” Wanda broke into a sob, with a crooked smile that showed you just how broken she was. How lost she was still feeling.

“I…after it happened I never…” Wanda started but couldn’t finish, you perked up at her words because this was something you hadn’t bothered to find out.

“What happened after I left? Were you happy? Did he make you happy?” You didn’t mean to sound so bitter, but your words carry with them poison that you had been holding for far too long.

“I didn’t stay with him, Y/N. I tried to look for you, to reach out for you but…but I couldn’t and I didn’t stay with Vision, I didn’t feel anything I just… I messed up! Okay? That’s what I did, and I didn’t know how to make it better and I’ve been trying to be good to make it better all these years…”

You wouldn't know about that.

Just as she was trying to do some good, you were trying to forget. It was one of the reasons why you kept yourself out of everyone's business and dealt with the superhero work alone. When Tony and Steve got into that quarrel and you saw what happened back in Lagos you knew you had made the right decision. Then, everything became more complicated and you just busy yourself with other problems, always trying to keep the team away while trying to get glimpses of news about Wanda. You knew it had been hard for her, and you also knew she was never alone.

Vision.

That had always been the main issue, wasn't it?

“I was on the run with the others, but I just wanted to disappear. Vision…he was helping me with getting a new identity.” Wanda leaned back tilting her head to the wall to hide the tears rolling down her cheek.

It was an answer to an unasked question. The conversation died for a moment, the waitress eyed Wanda before offering a smile to you placing the different orders on the table.

“Do you need anything else?”

“No, thank you.”

“Well, if there is anything I can do, I'm Anne.” The waitress offered one last smile walking backwards and then leaving you two alone.

The food smelled delicious; you grabbed your sandwich allowing Wanda the moment of privacy. The silence grew heavier just as you distracted yourself glancing around the place while taking another bite from your lunch.  

“I was just trying to live my life, and then when Thanos happened…” Wanda huffed turning to her food, she was no longer hungry if anything she wanted to disappear. 

Everything seemed so pointless, the look in your eyes would never leave, and she would go back to a world in which she was despised by the only woman she had ever been in love with.

“This is really delicious; you should try it.” You interrupted her, offering a full smile while grabbing another bite.

Wanda blinked confused; she kept her eyes on you then back on her food. For a brief moment, she hesitated, she was no longer hungry and if she were to be honest she felt tired. You took a sip from your cappuccino, placing your hand on the table, dangerously close to hers.

“I know you are hungry, Wanda. And I also know…I didn't want to know, but I get it.” You passed your hand on your hair pressing your back on the seat. “I'm tired of this, I just…”

“I can't take it when you look at me like that.”

“Like what?” You crunched up your nose, Wanda lowered her eyes grabbing her food.

“As if I am nothing to you, as if you…you hate me and…”

She trailed off putting the food in her mouth and silencing her words. You frowned, pursing your lips while playing those words inside your head. 

“I don't hate you.” You softened your features, your eyes glistening under the weight of memories. “I could never hate you.”

Silence followed your statement, the shivering discomfort of what your words could mean infused the atmosphere with questions Wanda didn't dare to ask. You lowered your gaze and focused completely on the sandwich that was still on the plate, and for a good half hour that was all you and Wanda did. 

When there was nothing else coming in between the unfinished conversation, Wanda put her hands on the table her eyes down casted. This was actually the very first time the both of you came face to face without anyone or anything coming in between. It was a confrontation you never thought would happen about something you had always imagined. It always came with different scenarios, but the outcome had always been the same. With you finally finding peace and never looking back, and with Wanda filled with regret for what she had lost.

This conversation though was completely different. You lifted your face finding those green eyes staring back at you with longing and a deep sadness that had become characteristic of Wanda. 

“How did you end up in Westview?” The question rolled out of your lips with a hint of bitterness you could not hide.

Wanda winced playing the napkin on the table, you waited until the woman started talking again.

“I found the box you hid in your room back at the Avenger's compound.” She stated simply, her lips breaking into a grimace. “I never…after you left I never went back there until after the battle with Thanos and Steve’s funeral.”

Your eyes opened lightly in realisation; you remembered the box in which you had hidden the future you hoped to share with Wanda. The ring, the map, and the picture…everything made sense now; now you understood why Wanda had chosen that place and how everything had fit at one point or another. The only thing that was out of place had been Vision, your expression hardened and Wanda could tell you were thinking about Westview the life she had created there.

“I never thought of him, you know? I went there because I wanted to…” Wanda snorted lifting her face to the ceiling, her voice trembling under the weight of the memories. “I wanted to understand, and in a way, I wanted to find a way to go back to you. Not as…I mean, I wanted to at least be…be your friend.”

You shifted on the chair hearing as Wanda finally tell you her part of the story, how she had been completely alone after coming back from the Blip. Steve’s funeral showed her just how alone she was, and how lost she really felt; she didn’t have a work or a home or even family and friends. She spent her time driving around until she decided to ask for help and went to the only person she could think of: Tony.

In all this time you could see the story behind her eyes, you could read the suffering and the deep sadness in the gestures and the words that carried with them the flashbacks of those days in which you were ignorant of Wanda’s fate.

“I went there to punish myself.” Wanda broke into a bitter smile, “I guess I did a good job.”

“Wanda…” You started but the words tangled in your throat, the other woman waited expectantly but after a moment her face fell.

“You don’t have to…”

“You don’t have to punish yourself anymore.” You frowned lowering your gaze to the empty dishes on the table, you were fully aware of her eyes on you. “All this time, isolating yourself while unable to reach out to anyone…then, finding yourself in Westview with this Agatha…”

Wanda swallowed down her tears, she was trembling with a flame of hope flickering inside her heart. Wanda knew she had created the world around Westview, she knew that her isolation and her grief had broken out into an explosion of her magic to create a reality she could deal with. But she also knew her magic had been tampered with, and her illusion had been corrupted.

“I never stopped thinking about you.” She whispered with her hands grabbing the chair tightly, her eyes filled with unshed tears.

You nodded standing up while making your way to where she was sitting, you offered your hand though your face never changed. For a brief moment, Wanda hesitated, she glanced at your hand and then with a trembling hand accepted it.

“They do look like us, you know?” You stated flatly, your hand warm against hers.

Wanda furrowed her brows, her tears rolling down her cheeks but her eyes gleaming in confusion.

“Why?”

“Billy and Tommy.” You stated simply. “They do look like us.”

_______________________________________

That night you sat right outside the house.

Music and conversation could be heard in the backyard, with the lights of the kitchen projecting shadows on the grass. The sky above hour head was still showered with white dots that resulted familiar yet so different to what you were used to; the air was cold but nothing you couldn’t take in a night like that one.

You took a deep breath filling your lungs with cold air, inside your mind thoughts came crashing down into a myriad of possibilities and plans yet to be executed. The conversation with Wanda had gone unexpectedly well, yet you knew a lot of things needed to be done and said before things would be okay.

“Aren’t you a little cold out here?” America crunched up her nose trying to balance the two glasses she was carrying with her.

You turned to her, chuckling before stretching a little to help her out.

“Aren’t you supposed to be a part of this great celebration?”

America shrugged offering a tiny smile, “the twins are distracted with Wanda, both of them, and the rest is just chattering around.”

“So you decided to come to me?” You shook your head taking a sip from the beverage the young woman had brought with her. “You’re crazy.”

“Not as crazy as you are.” America wrapped her hands around the glass eyeing you out of the corner of her eyes. “How are you?”

“I guess I’m okay, how about you?” You pointed with your head to the house behind you, “this is what you missed, isn’t it? Now that you are back, well…”

America nodded turning her body to yours, “I feel happy, but I also feel lost. I know that I found them again, and I have so many possibilities right now, I just…”

 “Don’t know what to do?” You asked, America shrugged lowering her eyes.

“I’m finally starting to understand my powers and to get some control over them, if I keep working on them I would be able to travel without getting lost.” America let out a sigh dropping her shoulders, “those are a lot of possibilities and right now I think I need stability and keep learning.”

“Wise words, you have grown some, kiddo.” You bumped against her shoulder; the young woman blushed lightly offering a timid smile. “It may take time, but I’m pretty sure you will learn to control them.”

None of you mentioned the possibility of America finding her way back home, while it was an option it didn’t mean that America would find it once she had some control on her abilities. But for now, the young woman was happy to learn more about her powers and herself, her heart and soul finally finding a place she could call home.

“You don’t mind me coming back with you and Wanda?” America finally asked biting her lower lip while taking the last sip of her drink to her lips.

“No, I think it’s going to be fun.” You replied glancing at the young woman, “but I have to tell you right now, the training is going to be brutal.”

“I didn’t expect anything else.”

You chuckled nodding, “good.”

America straightened up tilting her head to glance at you then back at the house. You knew what the question was she wanted to ask, but you didn’t rush it.

“Are you and Wanda going to be okay?”

“I don’t know.” The honesty with which you answered that surprised even you, you turned to America with a serious face. “I’m not sure what would happen, America, but I guess I’m willing to find out.”

“That’s good, right?”

You shrugged, and the young woman went back to rest her head on your shoulder still highly confused by your answer. The sound of laughter, music and conversation filling out the sudden silence that embrace the both of you, your thoughts coming back to Wanda and the day you had spent with her.

Only time would tell what would happen next, and you were waiting anxiously what would happen next.

_______________________________

Billy and Tommy were talking non-stop, they were excited showing Wanda the latest project they had been working on back at school. The young woman could hardly hold her tears while letting her children talk to her about school and their lives as if she had always been there.

At first, it had hurt.

Wanda knew they were not hers, and yet she couldn’t help but love them and see them with the same eyes she had seen the twins back in her universe. A part of her never thought she would see Billy and Tommy again, the moment the illusion had fallen around her and she discovered what she had done to Westview she knew there wouldn’t be a way for her to recover her children.

Yet here they were.

 In another world, in another universe looking the same as she had imagined them once.

This time around everything was as it was supposed to be, with you by her side raising two children being a happy family.  A part of Wanda felt envy for everything her counterpart had and she couldn’t have.

“Are you sure you can’t have a family of your own?”

Wanda huffed turning to the source of the voice, her counterpart stood right beside her with softened eyes staring at the twins that were getting ready for bed. Wanda dropped her arms to her sides, her eyes glancing back into the room then back to the woman standing beside her.

“I’m pretty sure, she…” Wanda wrapped her arms around herself furrowing her brows, “she doesn’t love me anymore. I am nothing more than…and ally, and even that would be to stretch out our relationship.”

The other Wanda pursed her lips, she stepped closer never letting go of those green eyes she was so familiar with.

“You don’t believe that.” Wanda stated holding back a smile when the other woman stepped back scowling.

“I have to believe it, I can’t…” Wanda sighed lifting her chin to the ceiling holding back her weakness, she didn’t want the twins to see her cry. “I have to believe it or I will break my heart once more and I can’t lose control of my magic, I…last time it didn’t go well.”

The room filled with laughter, Billy ran to the bed jumping up and down with Tommy trying to follow up before falling down on his face. Wanda couldn’t help but gasp ready to help out but stopping when a gentle hand wrapped tenderly on her forearm. It was strange to see herself staring at her looking the same yet being so different than she was.

The twins were back in the game, falling on bed while discussing some subject Wanda couldn’t hear pretty well. The fall was soon forgotten and both of them were ready to go to sleep.

“Go on, you can put them to be and I will wait for you here.”

“Thank you.” Wanda whispered to her counterpart entering the room and going to Billy first.

The woman offered a shaky smile, her trembling hand brushing away his dark hair while her lips curved into a smile. Billy smiled back blinking slowly.

“Are you okay, mom?”

Wanda nodded leaning in placing a single kiss on his forehead, “more than okay, Billy. Have a good night, baby.”

“Good night, mommy.”

Then, Wanda went to Tommy who was looking at her differently, he wrapped his arms around her hugging her tightly and this time around she couldn’t help but cry.

“I love you, mom.”

“I love you too, Tommy, now go to sleep.” Once more she placed a kiss on Tommy’s forehead and with that she stepped back walking towards the door. “Sleep well, guys.”

“Night, mom!”

The door close behind her, and Wanda stood there allowing herself the goodbye she had longed to have with the twins. She tried to give the right closure to her emotions knowing full well she would go back a world in which she would be all alone. No twins, no Y/N, only her.

“Thank you.” Wanda whispered locking her eyes with those of her counterpart, the other woman nodded curtly.

“I knew it was important for you.” The woman hesitated for a moment before continuing, “but you shouldn’t lose any hope, Wanda. You and Y/N…”

“Don’t, please.” Wanda said softly. “Don’t give me hope, don’t tell me it is possible because…god, I’ve been breaking my heart over and over again and I just…I can’t take it anymore.”

“Then don’t let it go, don’t let it go without a fight.”

Wanda lifted her face to see her counterpart dead serious, the woman came closer wrapping her hands on her forearms making sure Wanda could not look away.

“You love her, and I am pretty sure she loves you as well, whatever happened in the past it shall stay there.” Wanda then softened letting go of her grip. “Don’t give up just yet, you may be surprised.”

Wanda wanted to talk, she wanted to believe but at the moment she was just tired and overwhelmed by everything that had happened, everything she had lived up to that point. She was overwhelmed by the fact that you were so close to her yet so far away, that she would go back to a world in which the twins were not there and she would be, once more, alone.

________________________________________

It was a sunny day.

America went over the contents of her backpack, her body was tingling all over while a void filled with butterflies settled in her lower abdomen. She closed her eyes taking a deep breath, her hands trembling while she secured the zipper on the backpack.

“You look nervous, you know you don’t have to go, right?” Y/N came into the room glancing around before settling her eyes on America, the young woman turned around offering a tiny smile.

“I know.” She replied shrugging, her hands played with the band on her wrist she tried to look everywhere but at Y/N but at the end of the day she couldn’t help it, she lifted her face and let the tears fall down.

“I’m sorry.” America whispered waiting for a recrimination on her part, for Y/N to finally tell her how bad she had messed up the first time she had fallen on their Universe.

But it never came, nor from her or Wanda, or anyone for that matter. America surrendered to the warm embrace of Y/N’s arms, she let the tears and sobs she had been holding to scape and finally liberated her mind of the guiltiness she had been feeling all this time.

“Hey, kiddo, it’s okay, it wasn’t your fault.” Y/N whispered soothingly her hand drawing circles with a half-smile showing on her face.

“I just…I shouldn’t have run the way I did, I should have fight or something.” America replied, leaning back, she was furrowing her brows while lifting her hands. “I could have stayed and helped around.”

“It wasn’t optional, though. You had to keep going to survive, that’s rule number one in this line of work, America.” Y/N put her hands on her pockets, her hair falling to the side with an easy smile adorning her lips. “You did what you have to at that point and no one should ever blame you for that. If it hadn’t been that way well, I wouldn’t be here telling the story.”

America doubted very much that it would have happened in such a way, but she would never really know it for certain. Ever since she started travelling through universes consciously she had learnt to deal with the different realities, trying to adapt to them and survive them. She never thought she would settle in a single universe, much less that she would get attach to the people in it.

The sound of conversation broke the sudden silence in the room, the twins laughing with Pietro and Wanda yelling for everyone to go to the backyard was the signal America had been waiting for. She stepped closer to give Y/N one last hug.

“Thank you for everything you did for me, Y/N. I couldn’t say this the last time due to the circumstances…”

“Us running for our lives?” Y/N chimed in chuckling, America snorted rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, that, I mean you guys received me in your home and gave me a chance to a family, I just..I will always carry that with me.”

Y/N softened while giving the teen another hug, “anytime kid, you are welcome in our household whenever you decided to come back.”

“I know, I just think I am needed it elsewhere.”

“I think so to.” Y/N stepped back glancing to the open door. “Watch over them, make sure that they are okay.”

“I will.” America smiled grabbing her backpack ready to go.

It was almost midday by the time America and Y/n came out of the house.

The backyard was full with Tony and Loki working around the logistics and the twins just running around between the two Wanda’s and everyone else. You stood by the garden, the conversation that Loki was having with Tony, Wong, Hank and America had lost all meaning as you entertained yourself with the last sight of the world that could have been. Your body was completely tensed, your eyes drifting around until they fell on the form of Wanda, your Wanda.

“Are you ready?” Y/N asked, you turned to her shaking your head.

“Were you?”

“No, I was never ready whenever she was around.” Y/N replied shrugging, “but once we had made our mind there was nothing that could stop us.”

You snorted nodding, “that’s right.”

“Are you going to fight?” Y/N stepped closer, her eyes going from you to Wanda then back again.

“I am going to make things right, I’m not sure if they will end up the same way it did here.” You replied placing your hands inside your pockets. “I guess only time will tell.”

Y/N nodded stretching her right hand to you, an easy smile forming on her lips.

“I hope everything goes well for you and Wanda, Y/N, just remember what’s really important.” Y/N said grabbing your hand with a friendly squeezed. “Please, be happy.”

“Protect them and be for them whenever they need you.” You replied squeezing back.

“I will.”

“Well, I guess we can try the portal once more, are you guys ready? Did you say your good-byes?” Tony clapped before rubbing his hands, everyone went to get in position until the cries of two boys reached them over.

Tommy and Billy came running with Wanda following them close behind, Billy went directly to Wanda wrapping his arms around her while Tommy went to you.

“I’m gonna miss you.” He mumbled looking up at you.

You chuckled ruffling his hair playfully, “I doubt it, pal. You have your mom’s here, but I am gonna miss you.”

“Say hi to your Tommy for me, please? Tell him he has the best mom in the whole universe!”

Those words pierced deeply inside your heart, but the innocence and the smile in Tommy’s face made you held back any reaction that wasn’t one of agreement.

“I will, Tommy, be good.”

At the other side of the yard Wanda and Billy were having a similar conversation, Wanda hugged him tightly before trying to let go. Billy called to her, looking around before wrapping his arms around Wanda’s neck, his lips close to her ear.

“Everything is gonna be okay, mommy, don’t worry, mom will come around.” Billy offered a toothy grin to Wanda who was too shocked to talk. “say hi to your billy for me, love you mom!”

Wanda watched as Billy joined his brother right beside their mother, Wanda locked eyes with her counterpart who offered a half smile and a vision Wanda Maximoff would not talk about until several years later. For now, she was just filled with doubts, and hopes, and uncertainties and soon Wanda was drowned by the voices surrounding her.

“Okay, this shouldn’t be that difficult, everyone remembers their roles?” Loki asked once more standing to the side while pointing at America who rolled her eyes.

“I do, I remember.”

“Good, because if you fail the three of you are going to be traveling around without a proper destination and probably die a horrible dead.”

“That’s so comforting, Loki.” You replied rolling your eyes. 2Stop scaring America and do your job.”

Loki rolled his eyes flickering his hands while putting the golden book out of thin air, he sat down crossing his legs while looking to an invisible spot in front of him.

“Very well, your timeline is not that hard to find, it is the only one with a latent anomaly.”

“How can you tell is ours and not a random one?”

Loki glared at you before going back to his work, “I can sense it, and this one lack something, it is missing something, I guess that would be both of you.”

Soon everyone was taking positions, Wanda stood beside you shifting from one foot to the other, her hands wiggling nervously while she tried to keep her eyes right ahead of herself. You could sense her uneasiness, her hands twitching biting her lower lip. America came forward, she was showing off a frown filled with confusion that Tony helped erased with a whispered explanation.

You eyed Wanda out of the corner of your eyes, the woman was completely tensed still bouncing trying to hold onto something but unable to find herself at ease. You doubted it for a moment before you grabbed her hand in yours.

Her hand was warm and soft, at first she was completely tensed and rigid but as soon as she sensed it was you her hand started to relax and give in the feeling.

“It’s gonna be okay.” You whispered; Wanda offered a smile nodding.

“I know.” Wanda knew that as long as you kept holding her hand everything would be okay, she didn’t dare to say anything else but in a bold move she spread her fingers and soon her hand was intertwined with yours.

You jerked around but Wanda was completely focused on America, after a moment of hesitation you straightened up frowning lightly though your hand clasped tenderly Wanda’s hand.

“Okay, it was nice meeting you all, now let’s begin.” Loki closed his eyes and soon the golden light of his magic started gleaming powerfully forming a tight circle that surrounded you and Wanda alongside America.

America could feel the power, she was sensing it through her muscles and her fingertips while her mind became a mask of pure blankness trying to form an idea. She remembered the lesson, to follow the magic around her while also joining her energy with that of Wanda and Y/N, her power running through her arm in electric jolts and then igniting her eyes until she was finally ready to make it explode.

Pulling her arm back, closing her fist America stretched her arm hitting the space in between her and the backyard creating an explosion in the form of a Star. The portal opened until it was as big as America, you peeked in watching the white plains of Norway, or at least that was what you thought.

With a last glance to your counterpart and Wanda, you squeezed the hand you were holding tenderly.

“Ready?” It was all you could say before the young woman nodded and with a single step she dragged you right through the portal.

The world you three had left behind was waiting for you.

And you were not sure what would happen next, the only thing you knew for certain was that you didn’t want to let go of the hand holding yours.

The portal closed behind the three of you leaving everyone behind with many questions and little to no answers.

Billy and Tommy hugged Wanda still glancing the place where the portal had been moments ago. The woman glanced at her children knowing there was something bothering greatly.

“Mommy, do you think they will love us?” Tommy asked lifting his face to Wanda, Wanda furrowed her brows tilting her head.

“What do you mean, baby?”

Billy scrunched up his nose, “You think they will love Billy and Tommy the way you love us?”

Wanda softened at the question; she knelt in front of her boys not really knowing how to explain that in their world they both didn’t even exist.

“Billy, I’m pretty sure that they would be very lucky to have children like the both of you, and they would absolutely love you very much.” This answer seemed to satisfy the boys, and just when Wanda thought the topic was over Tommy talked again.

“They are gonna love us very much, mommy.” Tommy smiled snugging closer to Wanda. “Just like they love one another very much, that’s how you and mommy made us, right?”

Wanda didn’t answer, but a part of her certainly hope that Tommy was not wrong. She had always hoped that her love for you would survive in every universe, Wanda lifted her face to see Y/N looking at her with tenderness and love, and Wanda knew right there and then that her counterpart would be okay.

You never stopped looking at her like that, you just learnt how to hide it pretty well.

You were still pretty much in love with your Wanda.

And now that you were gone with her, only time would tell if love was still possible.

Wanda sighed wishing you would let go of your resentment and doubts and give yourself and her counterpart a chance.

With a last glance to the space where you and the others had been standing, Wanda turned around hopeful that the past would stay in the past.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next Chapter: You are finally back to your universe, everything seems surreal as you and the others are taken to interrogation rooms before resuming your normal lives. Carol doesn't want to leave your side, and Wanda knows she needs to step aside even though that's the last thing she wants to do.

[vrystalius]

Can you please make one where Muzan has this maid he was fond of when he was still human, he'd rest his head on her lap and have her sing to him everytime he couldn't control his temper when he was still human. And bow she's turned into a demon like himmmm

Demon king’s maid

Being Muzan’s maid during his human years made him absolutely smitten for you.

(Muzan x fem!reader, sfw/fluff)

Muzan still remembers the exact feeling of laying his head on your plush thighs while your fingers brush through his black strands. Your skin would feel so warm in contrast to his cold, pale and sickly skin. Your thighs were so soft and squishy and always managed to take his mind off the stupid servants that failed to recreate how he ordered his tea, or his incompetent doctor being lazy and not researching his sickness properly. You are the only person in his estate that did things correctly…

Your singing was the most enchanting thing about you. Your voice, no matter what time or day, always sounded like heaven’s singing to him and only for him. For the duration of your song all his pain would disintegrate, his frustration and anger turning into something similar to happiness and calmness.

But Muzan made peace with never seeing you again.

What a shame that you ran away from him once he became a demon. Muzan would’ve loved to keep you around for longer, maybe even make you his personal demoness-maid. What an honour it would’ve been for you to serve the demon king.

Thousands of years of passed since the last time Muzan saw your enchanting face and felt your touch on his skin. He should’ve caught or at least try to find you. That way, you would had been around for longer. He could’ve savoured your presence, your warmth, your beautiful voice… perhaps he’d even marry you and make you stand right beside him as he demolishes the Ubuyashiki clan an the rest of the Demon Slayer corps.

He’d never thought that if he’d see you again, that he would find you amongst the cultists Douma offered showed off to him. That demon proudly presented you as one of the oldest demons in existence, and oh how happy he is to have you here in the Eternal Paradise Cult. You greet looked different than before, your eyes looked much more tired and scared, your hair a little matted, your delicate skin very dirty, and those robes you’re wearing definitely do not show off the figure you had beneath those sad excuses of clothes.

Muzan bathed you by hand and by himself. He wanted go make sure no other demon even came near you and was able to catch a single glance at your heavenly body. That sight is only reserved for his and his eyes only. His sharp nails grazed over your wet skin as he ran a damp cloth over your shoulders and neck. A small smile rested on his face after Muzan soaked the cloth in the warm water.

“So, you still remember me, hm? Your body tenses when I touch you.” His smile faded away for a moment as he lifted your arm and carefully held it, running the cloth over your soft skin. He felt how your muscles tensed up beneath his touch. A sigh escaped his lips as he leaned down, pressing a kiss on your wrist. Muzan nuzzled into your palm, taking in your perfect features.

“You’ve been hiding from me since day one, after I accidentally turned you.” He planted kisses all over your palm.

“You must’ve been so scared and confused… I am sorry for not being there. But now we can be together, forever. How do you like the idea of you marrying me? If you like, you can continue your… “maid” duties.”

💠

Feels so good to have another ask down! I’m gonna work on them the next few days, I missed it so much! I’ll try to post another fic tonight. Requests are still open!

Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!

Take care of yourselves <3

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Be still, my foolish heart.

Pairing/Au: Soft single dad!Joel Miller x Curvy f!reader, no outbreak

Words count: 8816 (I know, I’m sorry 💀)

Rating: +18, MDNI, NSFW

Summary: A meet cute at the clinic where you work leads to finding the best date you could ask for… our one and only Joel Miller.

Warnings: pov second person, no use of y/n, meet cute, a little bit of a slow burn, reader is curvy, has breasts and vagina and wears a dress, apart from that no other specific description is given, age gap (reader is 35, Joel is 46), Joel is a single dad and he is soft (what can I say, I’m a sucker for a soft Joel okay), reader doesn’t trust Joel immediately and she thinks he might be dangerous (he’s not, he’s cutest), Sarah is alive and well and she’s mentioned multiple times, mention of Tommy, Joel is a contractor, unprotected p in v (wrap it up IRL, folks!), pussy pronouns, mention of use of oral contraceptives (reader is on the pill), fingering (f receiving), oral (m and f receiving), dirty talks, elderly people being fragile and sick, slight mention of Joel’s prescriptions including antidepressant (game Joel took it so I put it in there), I know that prescribing medicine doesn't exactly work like that in America (not even in Italy for that matter) but allow me a poetic license (😂), reader has insecurities about her body, mention of bullying and previous toxic relationships that reader has been subjected to, internal reader’s voice inserts, pet names (pretty lady, good girl, honey, sunshine, baby, babe, angel), squirting (not specifically mentioned but still), Joel is feral and reader too.

I don't think I forgot anything but if I notice it I'll add it right away.

I made a mood board for the first time in my life, I know it's not great but I tried 💀 English is not my first language so please be gentle (I also have Covid at the moment… yeah, it’s 2024 and I caught it for the third time, lucky me), I hope there aren't too many mistakes, no beta so it's all my fault LOL, no proofreading. Title is an Hozier quote. Of course, because I love this man.

Oh sh*t, here’s what I was forgetting: the mirror scene is inspired by Polin (yep, it was a great scene ❤️) but I think I personalized and changed it enough to make it just Joel and reader's, at least I hope.

(Reader works in a clinic because I do this job so yes, she has this thing in common with me besides being curvy. Every time I write a curvy reader is so personal to me)

I might write something else about these two if you like, I really love this pairing and I hope I’m not the only one, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated! Thanks to anyone who will read this 💐

You are at your desk, absorbed in an email you are writing to a patient who is asking for prescriptions for medicines. The clinic is empty and quiet and this doesn’t happen often so you’re trying to keep up with emails and messages and phone calls that you have received in the last hour.

Suddenly the door opens and a man enters the clinic, at first you don't even look at him, you just say "Good morning" and continue typing.

He clears his throat and says “good morning” and stops in front of you, on the other side of the desk. He’s clearly waiting for you to shift your attention to him so you turn and look at him. For a moment you’re speechless. He’s a gorgeous man.

Tall and broad, dark hair slightly streaked with silver, strong aquiline nose, beard and mustache framing a pair of plump lips, perfectly designed jawline and neck.

Stunning.

You didn’t expect anyone like this ‘cause really, the doctor you work for has hundreds of elderly patients or families with children and you have never been interested in married men, you don’t even look at them but anyway, you never saw a single person that was attractive to you in this place before.

You smile politely as you ask “do you need anything?” and you want to sink into your seat because you don't even have makeup on and you're wearing the first things you found in the closet this morning. An old pair of jeans and a black top.

“Yes please, I need some prescriptions. I just changed doctor because my previous one is now retired. I always sent an email to his secretary but this is the first time I've asked for my prescriptions here so I thought I'd stop by in person especially since I was in the area. I’m working in the building next door”

Bingo.

That’s why you never saw him.

You quickly look at his hand on the desk for a ring and it’s not there.

His hands are gorgeous though, big strong working and experienced hands.

“Sure, can you tell me your name please?” you ask trying to keep your tone professional while being excited to know more about him.

“Joel Miller” he says and you find the way his tongue rolls up to pronounce the r at the end so delicious it’s almost embarrassing.

For a moment you're almost afraid he might hear your thoughts.

You turn back to the computer typing in his name and a moment later his medical records appear.

46 years old, born in late September, he lives in Austin. You look at his prescriptions and notice a reflux medication, another for high blood pressure, and an antidepressant.

Oh.

What happened to him?

“Well, Mister Miller, what do you need today?”

“You don’t have to call me Mister Miller, even if you’re younger than me I think?”

You look down in bewilderment, not expecting much familiarity from him since it’s the first time you’ve seen him but you answer anyway “Yes, actually. I’m 35”

“So you can call me Joel” he says with a smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth and hopeful eyes of someone who asks not to make him feel old.

“Of course I can” you hurry to answer “So… Joel, what do you need today?”

He gives you a grateful look and replies, “I don’t remember what it’s called but… my medicine for high blood pressure.”

“Oh yes, this one” you nod and proceed to prepare it, “just a moment, Mr Miller… uhm I meant Joel, I need to get the doctor to sign it,” you tell him as the printer gurgles, spitting out the prescription paper.

You stand up from your chair, feeling your legs a little unsteady, and once you’re in front of him his height impresses you even more. He’s imposing, you’re a curvy girl and yet you feel so tiny in front of him.

You notice that he looks you up and down and seems pleased, his eyes reflecting an approval that makes you very satisfied.

You move quickly to the doctor's office, enter apologizing and have him sign the prescription. When you leave you find him standing in front of your desk waiting, he looks at you again and you notice a certain sparkle in his eyes.

"Here you go" you say and hand him the prescription.

You feel his fingers lightly brush yours and a shiver of pleasure runs down your spine.

“Thank you,” he smiles at you, “you are very kind.”

“No problem, have a good day,” and you approach the desk to sit down again. You see him hesitate for a moment, as if he wanted to add something.

“Do you need anything else?” You ask curiously and a part of you really hopes that he will ask you for your phone number or if you want to go get a drink after work.

“Oh no, no thanks, see you next time”

His gaze drops to the floor as he says this, as if he's embarrassed, which you like because it feels like you're not the only one in the room who's been pleasantly shaken up by this encounter.

He puts his hand on the door handle and turns once more, smiling shyly.

You smile back feeling a sense of tenderness so premature that you wonder if you're losing your mind.

You go back to work but all you think about is him, you want to know more.

You enter his name again in the search bar and reopen his folder. Joel Miller. You wonder who he really is and what he does but apart from his pathologies and his date of birth you don't find much else about him. His address is there but you certainly won't use it for unorthodox purposes such as accidentally ending up in his neighborhood, you would pass for a stalker as well as a very unprofessional secretary.

Nothing stops you from noticing that he lives in a very quiet residential neighborhood though.

Will he be married? There are men who do not wear a wedding ring so it might not be safe to rely only on the fact of not having seen it.

You hesitate a bit before doing so because you already feel awkward enough for someone you've only seen once but in the end you type his address in the search bar to see if other people who live with him in the same house appear, usually families tend to have the same doctor for convenience.

You hold your breath as you stare at the white screen waiting and after a few seconds a result appears.

Sarah Miller.

“There I knew it, he’s married” you think, huffing and shrugging, but then you look better and realize that this Sarah is 14 years old. “So… he has a daughter”

No one else showed up in the results so you assume he is not married but he may have been and then got divorced. Unless his wife chose another doctor but that seems very strange to you.

You contemplate trying to Google his name but then decide it's best to wait until you get home, you can't use the work computer for personal stuff.

You sigh and go back to your work, completing your search just a second before the doctor comes out and asks you if you have any urgent messages.

Today everything is strangely quiet though, even if you wasted time looking for information on Joel you finish all the work, not without thinking about him at least once an hour. You feel silly, you shouldn’t have any kind of thought about someone you don’t know and with whom you have only exchanged a few words, the fact that he seemed interested and that he was about to ask something while he was about to leave could also be false projections that you have made in your head. And yet…once home, after taking a shower and putting on clean pajamas, you throw yourself on the sofa nibbling on a sandwich and open your laptop.

You open Google and type his name and the first result that comes up is “Miller - construction company”

It could be him, now that you think about it he mentioned he was working on the building next door which is in fact under construction.

You scroll down to the bottom of the page where the owners are listed and you see two names, Joel and Tommy Miller. You assume that Tommy is his brother. You go back to the Google page for a moment and check if there are any namesakes but no one else in the city has the same name. And just like that, you know what he does.

You don’t think you can do anything with this information, you live in a new apartment and everything is in perfect working order so you just have to wait. Before leaving he said “see you next time”, so now you find yourself wondering when the next time will be. Probably in a month, when he will need a new prescription.

Such a long time. But maybe this will help you, you tell yourself. It's just a passing thing, you tell yourself. You can't be so foolish as to project your fantasies onto him. You decide that this is okay, you'll just get over it.

_____________________

After a week you almost got Joel out of your mind. You worked quietly, met the usual old people who came to the clinic to be examined, no sign of him. You'd be lying if you didn't think about it anymore but you stopped yourself from doing something foolish like contacting him for a fake construction job to try to meet him.

You are preparing some prescriptions when the doctor comes out of the office and asks if you could please take some medicine to the home of a very elderly patient. It is something you usually do not do but the caregiver cannot leave her alone and her son is away for work all week so she had no choice but asking you to do that. It will take up extra time because you will have to go to the pharmacy and then to her house, the doctor offers to pay you overtime but you know the lady and say that it is not a problem, you can do it without compensation.

Of course you can do that for Rose.

When she was better and could move around quite independently you often talked when she came to the clinic, she immediately took a liking to you and treated you like a niece, she would bring you gifts, vegetables from her garden, other times sweets cooked by her.

She is a dear lady, you are happy to be able to do her a favor.

At 5:00 you leave the office and head to the pharmacy, pick up her prescriptions, and get back in the car to drive to her neighborhood.

Rose lives in a nice street with many rather large houses, well-kept gardens and white picket fences.

You knock on the door and Georgia, the caregiver hired by Rose's family to assist her, opens it.

You already know her, she has accompanied Rose to the clinic many times but lately her health has worsened a lot and she can no longer leave the house.

“Hi, Georgia! I I brought Rose’s medicines”

“Hey! How long has it been since we saw each other? Come in!” She says with a big smile.

Georgia is a very sweet person and a great professional, she has taken great care of Rose all these years. She is a qualified nurse and the granddaughter of a long time friend of Rose. Georgia had moved to Texas from Arkansas to attend college and since then she had always lived at her grandmother's house, who lived a few miles from Rose's house.

She took the job because she loved her and when her grandmother passed away Rose was very close to her.

Georgia offers you a coffee and some chocolate cookies she has prepared, which you gladly accept.

You chat a little while Rose is resting and then when it's time to wake her up to take her evening medicine you accompany Georgia to her room to say goodbye to Rose.

She is lying motionless in a bed, now forced to ask Georgia for help with everything, she is almost 85 years old now and you are so sorry to see her like this. Until a few years ago she was an energetic, witty woman, with lots of hobbies, she loved reading, gardening, cooking and going to the movies. Now she was a ghost of herself. And the worst thing was probably that her mind was still working, so she realized what was happening to her and this made her even sadder and more helpless. Her body did not respond, while her mind understood everything.

She recognizes you right away and greets you so sweetly with her now faint voice. It breaks your heart to see her like this.

She asks you for a hug and you put your arms around her little shoulders, holding her gently. She's always been good to you, she doesn't deserve this.

You leave the room, wiping away a tear, without letting Rose see you, and say goodbye to Georgia, promising to come back and visit them soon.

You stand in the driveway feeling helpless for a moment, you would like to do so much more. Some patients have become like an extended family to you, you have known them for years and seeing some of them fold in on themselves, increasingly frail and elderly is so bad.

You look up and see a black pickup truck driving down the road. There’s a man in it and he looks familiar. He pulls into the driveway two houses down and gets out. And oh, shit.

It’s Joel.

Joel Miller.

He lives in the same neighborhood as Rose and you didn’t even registered that in your mind before.

You don't know what to do, whether to get in the car and drive away pretending nothing happened or take the opportunity and go say hello to him.

It seems silly to say hello to someone you've only seen once, no matter how attractive they are. You walk to your car, rummaging through your bag for your keys.

You're about to curse because never once do you find something in your bag, it doesn't even matter what it is. Big bag? You find nothing. Small bag? You find nothing either.

Your eyes move for a moment to the asphalt and you see two boots approaching, you look up again and you see two legs wrapped in dark jeans streaked with paint and of course to those legs is attached the rest of Joel Miller's wonderful body.

Your eyes widen and you watch him stop in front of you, beautiful as a God. Even more beautiful than the first time you saw him.

“Hi! I saw you across the street and I was pretty sure it was you. I almost made a fool of myself, but hey, I was right!”

You lose your words, it's as if they've slipped out of your brain and melted at your feet.

At least you solved a dilemma, he greeted you first.

“Hi” you say shyly.

This doesn't make you any less nervous, you were trying to sneak out of this neighborhood unnoticed and you could say that he ruined everything and you don't know him well enough to know whether to be grateful or keep running away pretending to be very busy.

He has a daughter, a respectable job, a brother, lives in a nice neighborhood, and seems to lead a regular life. Is that enough to trust these days? Probably not.

This dude can be anyone, a serial killer, a criminal, a drug dealer, a thief, whatever.

How do you know he doesn't sleep with a gun on his nightstand or keep dead bodies in his basement?

Trust no one, is something you learned from a very early age and you always stood by it, safety first.

Have you been wanting to see him again for a whole week? Yes.

Did you just realize that you know nothing and that you might be risking something? This too.

“Can I ask why you’re here?” He asks, running his hand through his curls in a way that drives you instantly wild.

God, why is he so gorgeous, this doesn’t help at all.

You can always run to Rose and call the police if he suggests something strange and you’re in the middle of the street in broad daylight so you decide to take the risk and say the truth

“I came to deliver medicines to a lady who lives here” you reply, acting like he doesn’t have any kind of effect on you.

“Oh, so this is something you do? I didn’t know that”

“No, not regularly. I actually did it because it’s Rose, you know. She’s an adorable old lady”

He nods as if he knows exactly what you're talking about and actually says, "Sure, Rose. I know her. She used to babysit my daughter many years ago."

Okay, those are some great credentials. So maybe you can trust Joel Miller? Isn't he a lunatic homicidal? Maybe not.

Obviously you pretend you don’t know anything about Sarah and ask, “Oh really? You have a daughter?” raising your voice in surprise for a better result.

“Yeah I do. She's 14 years old and she's already giving me a hard time, she’s so smart and responsible that she’s basically parenting me” he shrugs while a little smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. You can see in his eyes how proud he is of her.

You giggle “well, she sounds so cool, I do love a tough girl.”

“Oh, she’s definitely your girl then”

You smile and think that after all, yes, Joel probably doesn't have any horrible skeletons in his closet.

And again he falls silent and looks uncertain and embarrassed, he lowers his eyes and then asks you, “You know, I’m going to be working in the building next to where you work for a little while longer, so I was wondering if you’d like to have a coffee with me sometime?”

It’s like every word is bouncing around in your head as you think about what to say. Would you like to get to know him better? The answer in the end is, “Yes, I would like to, thank you” you feel your face heat up as you say it.

Joel shifts his weight from one leg to the other as he looks at you, he seems nervous, excited but above all happy.

“I’m glad you accepted. So…what do you think about tomorrow?”

“Okay, I have lunch break from 12 to 2, is 1 okay for you?”

You see his face light up “sure that’s fine. See you tomorrow then”

For a moment he raises his arm as if he wants to come closer and touch you, but then he immediately lets it slide down his side.

Gentleman, you note in your head.

It is not yet the time for such confidence, but secretly you hope that it will come soon.

You say goodbye to him and get back in the car and you see him waving at you in the rearview mirror.

“God, Joel Miller, I already know you’re going to be a threat for me. In the best sense of the word.”

_________________________

In the weeks that follow, you and Joel share a lot of coffees. Every day he waits for you outside the clinic at 1:00 sharp, you go to the corner café and chat for an hour before returning to work. He tells you a lot of things about himself and his life which you adore listening about.

He also confides in you that he was in therapy and had to use antidepressants for a period of time, when Sarah's mother abandoned them. You completely understand.

And the more you talk to him the more you get convinced that he’s a great person, you don’t have any doubt about that.

He never fails to compliment you, on your clothes, on your hair, on your eyes, on your nail polish.

He laughingly admits that the compliment about the nail polish was Sarah’s suggestion. “Dad, she told me, girls like it when you notice details.”

You laugh out loud and nod. “She’s right. And you’re right, too, you have a very smart daughter.”

He shrugs “I know,” and then adds. “It’s been so long since I’ve dated anyone, I don’t even remember how to do it anymore.” You lean slightly across the table and whisper. “Well, I think you’re doing great.” And it’s true. You feel spoiled like a queen.

He gives you a mischievous smile “oh yeah?”

“Yes, definitely” And you want to kiss him right there, in that crowded café.

Yet a voice inside you still can’t understand how someone like him, who could have all the women he wants, is inviting you, a curvy girl.

You shouldn’t, but you still have those latent insecurities from when you were 15 and boys in your class made fun of you. Somewhere inside you there is still that fragile and wounded teenager who thinks it’s impossible that someone could truly love you. Or even just desire you.

And you hate it, because Joel has done nothing but show you how much he enjoys spending time with you. And his compliments have always sounded sincere, his eyes are, they send you a reassuring image, full of admiration. He seems truly interested in you.

You're still in this internal monologue where you curse yourself for being like this when he asks you, "Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?"

Oh. He did it. He took the next step.

With your heart pounding in your chest and your mouth unable to help but curl into a smile you answer “yes!” a little too loudly.

You put a hand over your mouth as he looks at you amused “well, I’m glad you’re so excited about the idea. Should I pick you up at 8?”

“Yes, that sounds perfect” you reply, quietly this time but with a little firecracker in your chest that keeps banging where your heart is.

You finish your coffee and go out and he asks for your address which he writes down on his phone. You try to say that there is no need for him to bother but he insists on picking you up.

“Do you like Italian food?”

“I love it”

“Good, see you tonight” and this time his hand wraps around your arm and squeezes lightly as he leans down to give you a kiss on the cheek.

You return to the clinic feeling like you're walking on clouds.

You come home after working as hard as you can while still feeling anxious and completely unsure of what to wear. You know you didn't do anything wrong and that's a relief because you certainly can't mess up your patients' medications.

You jump in the shower, mentally going over everything in your closet. You decide to exclude any black dress because no, simply no. It's a special day and you want to wear a color. Maybe the green dress? No, green doesn't suit you, you don't even know why you bought it. Maybe the red one? But that one is very low-cut and you've rarely felt good enough to wear it. Maybe the blue one? The blue one is low-cut, but not too low-cut, it hugs you in the right way, it doesn't highlight what you don't want. Yes, maybe it's the right choice.

You hum in the shower as you wash your hair, satisfied with your decision.

You come out feeling invincible. Joel Miller has asked you to dinner. It’s been years since anyone has asked you out. You didn’t like the ones who did, and God only knows how much you miss good sex. Someone who touches you just right. Someone who makes you sigh and whimper and feel alive in his arms.

Someone who kisses you and leaves you breathless and doesn't hesitate to make you feel simply amazing as he goes down between your thighs.

Joel seems to have all the makings and miraculously seems eager to give you exactly that.

You slip into the dress and look at yourself in the mirror. You like the image it reflects. To hell with those stupid kids who always gave you shit and made you feel horrible.

You're going out to dinner with Joel Miller tonight.

Joel fucking Miller who in the high school categorization is the equivalent of the football quarterback.

The High School Prom King.

God, that makes you feel so good.

He rings the doorbell at 8:00 sharp, just as you’ve finished putting on your favorite lipstick. You take a deep breath as you go to open the door, placing your hand on the handle, and mentally preparing yourself for what you’ll find on the other side.

Finally you open it and he’s perfect. He looks like a painting framed by your door.

You stifle a scream with all your strength and say “hello” to him in a high pitched voice.

Goddamn you.

He doesn't even seem to notice. “So, miss, are you ready?”

“Sure, thank you.”

You grab your bag from the hall table and walk out with him. He takes your hand as he walks you to his pick up truck, opens the door and helps you get in.

Once in the driver's seat he turns to you and says "you look incredible tonight"

And you're about to say that after all you could skip dinner, who cares, instead you could go to your room and fuck. But you decide to behave as well as him, this man has a daughter to take care of and it seems like he's not looking for a one night stand judging by how many coffees he's offered you and how much he's put in to get to know you, so much so that by the second time he could order for you with his eyes closed, so you just say “you too” with the biggest smile widening on your face.

And oh, it's so true. He left aside the flannel shirts and the worn jeans and with them he was already the most attractive man who had ever caught your eye.

He’s wearing dark blue jeans and a beige shirt that hugs his strong biceps. You can glimpse his soft tummy as he drives, the last button before his belt tightening in a delicious way, his meaty thighs wrapped in those jeans are mouth watering.

The work he does makes him muscular in all the right places.

The car stops in front of the restaurant and he opens the door for you again. He lets you enter the restaurant first, he addresses the waitress politely and they place you at the best table in the restaurant. You are impressed, he did all this for you.

The evening passes pleasantly, you talk a lot and chat about everything, by now there is a familiarity between you that you have built over the weeks, you feel safe and comfortable with him. Finally. After so many failed and wrong relationships you feel like you have found someone right. Joel is not ashamed of you, he doesn't try to change you, he doesn't comment on your weight, he is truly a breath of fresh air.

And you see the way he looks at you, enraptured. His eyes sparkle as he talks to you and listens to you. He listens to what you have to say and never makes inappropriate comments.

You both have a sense of humor and you like that, you manage not to take yourself too seriously and laugh together. Which is hot. Extremely hot. Every time you see that dimple on his cheek pop up, your knees buckle and your heart melts. He’s so adorable.

You also like the fact that he talks to you about Sarah, it makes you feel involved in his life, it seems like he doesn't try to keep you separate from it.

“Sarah is at a sleepover at one of her friends. So…would you like to stay over tonight?” he says it looking you straight in the eye and you already know what it means.

It’s the night.

The big night.

After all, you felt it and put on your favorite lingerie.

“Sure I want to,” you reply, taking his hand across the table and squeezing it. His hands big and strong…you can’t wait to feel them all over your body.

He insists on paying the bill despite your protests, you walk out of the restaurant and toward the truck when Joel grabs your waist and presses you against the door. He’s an inch from your lips, you can feel his warm breath on your skin.

“Can I kiss you?”

“What if I say no?” you tease him with a mischievous smile.

His body is completely on top of yours and the truth is that you can already feel your panties getting wet.

“I would quit, but it wouldn’t be easy so I hope you’ll reconsider”

You giggle “okay” and you feel his hands tighten on your hips.

He presses his lips against yours and it's a sloppy, needy kiss, urgent, all spit and tongue.

It leaves you breathless and you wonder what he will do in bed if this is the effect he has on you with just one kiss.

In fact you are touching each other really for the first time, in these weeks you have imagined many times his lips, their taste, their softness, their warmth. Now you know that he exceeds all your expectations.

He's calmer now, his lips fit perfectly between yours, he gently nibbles your lower lip and continues to lick inside your mouth.

He’s divine.

Utterly divine.

His hands run up and down your hips and he's about to lift your dress and grab your thigh when you stop him. “Joel…”

He looks at you with bated breath and eyes begging for mercy. “Yes, sweetie?”

“Not here…please, take me home” you whisper and he sighs “okay”

You don't even know how you managed to stop but you want your first time to be just for the two of you, you don't want to risk prying eyes or voices shouting obscene comments getting in the way.

You're already nervous enough that he'll see you naked for the first time.

He makes you get back in the pick up and gets into the driver's seat, while he fastens his seat belt you cast an eye at his crotch and you realize he’s semi-hard.

While he's driving, you put your hand on his thigh, because he has to know how much you want him.

You squeeze gently and hear him grunt “Babe…don’t do it, I won’t make it home.” and you giggle.

His low, raspy voice drives you crazy, and for a moment while you're stopped at the traffic light you consider sliding down your seat and straddling him but no, just no, wrecking his car on your first date wouldn't be the best way to end it.

You take a deep breath, leaving your hand quietly on his leg, but you want… oh you want so much to move it up and reach his bulge and stroke it over his pants.

When he pulls up in his driveway in the cab of his pickup truck there's an electricity between you that could power a small village, you feel it fluctuating in the air.

He quickly unbuckles his belt and leans over you to unbuckle yours, not without kissing you. “Let's go, pretty lady, I feel like I can’t wait a minute longer”

You get out and run to the door, he nervously searches for his keys in his pockets and opens it. You don't even have time to look around, it's the first time you enter his house but you only see it fleetingly because he takes your hand and immediately drag you to the bedroom.

There’s a chest of drawers in one corner and a wardrobe, both made of dark wood, probably made by him.

In the center of the room there is a large bed with a headboard of the same wood, the walls are a beautiful cerulean blue, there are three paintings hanging above the bed.

The bed has beige sheets and a light beige duvet with white stripes.

It’s a very manly cozy room, he makes you sit on the bed and you feel how comfortable it is, it's like him, warm and soft.

He starts undressing in front of you, he takes off his shirt and unbuttons his jeans without taking his eyes off you, he seems hypnotized by you.

You suddenly feel like there's an emptiness in the pit of your stomach, you wonder if you're ready to make yourself so vulnerable in front of him.

Oh fuck, where did this come from now? Why? You were so happy just a second ago.

It was easy in public places, you were able to use irony and your defense tactics.

Now there’s just the two of you and you wanted that, you insisted for that and yet you feel exposed now.

You know it's right, your insecurities right now aren't from Joel. Joel makes you feel safe.

It's you, it's just you.

Joel notices your hesitation, comes closer and caresses your face then he gently takes your chin and raises your gaze towards his

“Are you okay?”

“Yes” you reply in a small voice.

“If you don’t want to do it, that’s okay, darling.”

Your voice cracks a little as you reply “no, oh no, Joel I want it”

“So what’s wrong? Talk to me, you can trust me, you know?” He slips his hand into your hair and caresses you gently, looking you intensely in the eyes.

It's so stupid, all night you've felt hungry and lustful for him and now… you're afraid that seeing you naked he might think he made a mistake.

“I…” you try to say. You know that he at least deserves sincerity from you “I… I’m ashamed”

Joel's eyes widen and a completely confused expression appears on his face “about what?”

He really doesn't seem to understand and it makes you feel a little frustrated

“About my body, about the fact that I'm not thin, I have stretch marks and many other defects and you will see them” you say it all in one breath feeling silly.

“Oh babe…no. Listen to me carefully: you’re absolutely gorgeous. You don't have to be afraid to undress in front of me, I'm sure that whatever is under your clothes is wonderful and deserves to be worshipped. I really like you. I'm not saying this just because I want to have sex. You’re beautiful, honey”

You feel tears stinging your eyes and you fight them back with all your strength “you could have anyone you want”

“I want you. I want you if you let me” his voice is firm, his fingers caress your jaw until they reach your lips and brush them gently.

“Do you trust me?”

Sure, why shouldn’t I. He’s never given me a reason not to. you say to yourself.

“Yes” you whisper

“I want nothing more than to make you feel good and I won’t do anything you don’t want.”

“I know”

“And you can always talk to me about anything, okay? I don’t want to make you regret this”

He is sincere. He is absolutely sincere and you can clearly see it in his big beautiful brown eyes.

“Okay” you smile

“And by the way…your curves make me absolutely feral” he gives you a mischievous smile.

“Yeah?” you say with a hint of surprise

“Sure. Would you let me prove it to you?” his hand is on your shoulder now and lingers on the strap of your dress.

“Yes, please Joel… yes”

Damn insecurities, they were about to make you lose the best man you've ever met.

And now you feel impatient again and want his hands everywhere.

Now you notice his broad chest, the freckles scattered across his skin, the happy trail of hair that ends up hidden by his jeans.

Now you can enjoy the view of his muscular shoulders and strong neck and you can't wait to taste his skin under your tongue.

His hands move slowly over you, he slides the straps of your dress and reveals your bra.

“Get up,” he says, “I want to show you something.”

You look at him in disbelief. “What?”

“Come with me” he takes your hand and makes you get out of bed.

He takes you to a full-length mirror in a corner of his room “Sarah made me buy this because she says I have to look at myself before I leave the house. She says I make terrible combinations when I get dressed. Sometimes I'm in a hurry and wear my shirt inside out or something like that." he says smiling and shaking his head.

You giggle and the confidential tone with which he speaks to you makes you feel special.

“Well I don't know if it's the mirror's merit but you did a good job tonight” you joke.

You are in front of the mirror and he is behind you “look at yourself”

You become serious again and observe yourself.

“Look how beautiful you are” he says in his deep and slightly hoarse voice“can I?” he asks placing his hands on the clasp of your bra. You nod.

He takes off your bra and drops it on the floor. You look at that woman in the mirror, you look at her skin and the roundness of her breasts and her hard nipples and then you look into his eyes and you see nothing but admiration “God, your breasts are amazing” you hear him say “can I touch them?” and you nod again “yes, please Joel”

He traces the outline with his fingers and then cups his hands and fills them with your tits.

You don't miss the moan of pleasure that he tries to stifle in his throat “they are so soft” he squeezes them delicately “mmm baby, they feel amazing in my hands”

He takes your nipples between his fingers and tugs on them slightly “and these? Look how sexy they are, I bet they would be delicious in my mouth”

You feel your skin heat up and your head spin, you squeeze your eyes shut at the sensation of his hands playing with yours hard buds and his words go straight to your cunt. He’s so good at this.

“Open your eyes, honey” he whispers in your ear “don't stop looking at yourself”

His hands leave your breasts and for a moment you want to take them and put them back there but you let him. He slides your dress down your hips, until you're left in your underwear in front of the mirror.

“You’re stunning” he punctuates every syllable on your skin making you tremble “absolutely gorgeous”

His hand slides over your stomach and your belly that always makes you feel insecure “Is that what worries you?” he asks as if he can read inside you “that you don't have a flat stomach? Honey, your tummy is amazing.”

He squeezes it and it seems incredible to you how delicate his big hands can be “It's full and delicious and sweet and I can't wait to bite into it”

You squirm, leaning over his broad chest “Oh my god” you moan

He caresses your hips with both hands, supporting you “and these… they feel welcoming and warm and mmm baby, so sensual. Can you see it? They fit my hands so perfectly”

You look at yourself and you've never felt this way.

Guided by his words you finally see yourself beautiful and desirable.

He slips his fingers under the edge of your panties “Can I?”

“Yes” you say in a breath

He slowly slides them off, revealing your pussy “Jesus.” He mutter “look at her. Look how perfect she is”

He just touches your mound and you feel hypnotized, his voice, his hands, the warmth of his body, it’s all too much.

“Oh baby… I love that you left that little strip of hair”

You can't hold back anymore and you whine “touch me Joel, I want more”

His voice vibrates on your soft skin again “Tell me what you want, in detail” He bites the spot where your neck meets your shoulder “I want to hear”

“Oh god… I want… I want your fingers inside me, stretching me just right” you babble “I want to feel full”

His fingers slide between your folds “God baby you’re soaking wet. It’s all for me?”

You squirm under his touch nodding repeatedly, you feel desperately needy and hungry.

“Yes. Please Joel”

“Please what, baby?” He ask maliciously

“Make me yours, make me all yours”

“Can you see how beautiful you are now?”

“Yes” you nod “yeah. Don’t make me wait any longer. I need you, Joel”

You can swear that right now you feel really beautiful and also the luckiest woman in the world.

“Oh, you're getting impatient now… I like that” he says in a hushed tone.

He's still behind you and holding you close, he's still wearing his jeans but you can feel his hard cock pressing against your ass.

You look small in his arms, he surrounds you completely.

He brings you back to the bed and makes you lie down, you are completely naked and yet you no longer feel ashamed and inadequate.

He takes off his jeans, remaining in a pair of black boxers.

At the sight of his erection poking out against the fabric you lick your lips in anticipation.

He lies on top of you, his eyes on yours, looking at you intently “You’re perfect, honey” and then his mouth crash into your neck, kissing and licking everything he can, he takes your skin between his lips sucking and biting like he was starving for you.

“Your skin is like velvet and you smell so good, fuck”

And you whimper and cry and clasp your hands on his shoulder digging your nails in them and you feel like you don’t need anything else in this life.

He lowers himself on your body, grazing at your skin with his lips, lingering for a while on your nipples and mumbling at how good they are.

“I love touching you with my mouth, tasting your curves against my lips” until he reaches your tummy giving sloppy kisses at it and then he bites it. His teeth are attentive and gentle but at the same time eager, like he wants to taste your whole being.

And then he come to your mound and traces your thin strip of hair with his tongue and you buck your hips and move one of your hands through his curls and you plead “more, Joel, please”

He grunts at you when you tug his hair and you look at him with the most miserable begging eyes you can pull out “You want it so bad, babe? Want me to eat you out?”

You mewl a yes and he smirk “want to come on my tongue?”

You nod again “yes”

He places himself between your thighs “God, she seems made for this. So sweet scented and pretty. I bet she tastes so good”

And in an instant he dives into your pussy and his nose bumps your clit as his tongue begins to lick you up and down, delving your folds and making your hips jerk.

Your legs are wrapped around his back and his hand is on your tummy holding you in place “god, you look so beautiful like that, my precious angel, all spread and ravenous for me” every word vibrates on your clit and make you moan loudly. It’s like a demon took possession of your body, an insatiable and aching demon that wants nothing but pleasure.

He nudges at your entrance with his tongue and you cry again for more “your fingers, Joel, please, give them to me”

He pushes two fingers inside your soaking wet hole, they enter just easily and he curls them up inside you reaching for your sweetest spot.

“fuck, yes” you howl “god they feel so good, they feel so fucking good, Joel”

“I know baby, I know, you’re taking them so perfectly”

He continues to swirl his tongue over your clit as he pump his fingers in and out of you, increasing the pace when you can’t hold your moans anymore and you’re so loud you almost fear his neighbors can hear you “God, Joel, I’m coming - I’m - coming ah- god you’re incr- ah” you’re totally babbling trying to get a complete sentence out of your mouth and you can’t, you just can’t because he’s too much and you never felt that good before.

“Soak my fingers, babe, soak my face, give it all to me”

Your pussy clench around his fingers and you feel breathless as your orgasm washes all over you, his dirty talk made you over the edge.

You whine his name as you come, again and again and he doesn’t stop lapping at you until you’re calm.

He lies down next to you, wrapping his arms around you, you bury your head in the crook of his neck and sigh, “Oh, Joel.”

His hand sits on your ass squeezing gently “Such a good girl for me. I can’t believe you almost called yourself out from this”

You playfully pinch one his nipples “don’t make a fool of me”

“I would never” he says, kissing your hair “I’m just saying that you’re too good to not be taken care of. Your body deserves to feel passion and lust and all of that”

“On that note… there’s something else I’d like to do” you look at him maliciously

“What, baby?”

“I would love to… uhm… fuck, I would love to give you head”

He tilt his head “excuse me miss? Watch your mouth!” You giggle hiding your face in his chest and he laugh, and then he goes serious and ask “You sure? You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to”

“Yeah, I know” and you raise your face to kiss the lovely bald patch in his beard and you move to his ear and you whisper “I really want that though”

“As you please, sunshine”

You cup his bulge in his boxer and stroke it gently over the fabric “someone else here needs to be taken care of too”

He grunts “yeah, baby, keep going like that”

“Actually… I can make it even better” and you move from his side getting on your knees on the bed and then sitting on your heels as you keep stroking him.

You lower his boxer and his cock spring free, he’s already hard as rock. You lick your lips “delicious” and he looks at you mischievously “I guess you can be naughtier than I thought, baby”

You smirk back at him, lowering yourself on his groin and kissing the tip of his cock, just the tip, gently as a feather.

You giggle and pull back as he bucks up his hips to your mouth “so impatient, aren’t you?”

“It’s just… I didn’t have anyone giving me head in a very long time”

You open your eyes wide “I don't believe it”

“I swear” he says in a lower hoarse tone “I didn’t… I had some one night stand here and there but nothing serious, you know, I needed to be focused on Sarah and my work. so everything was quick and meaningless”

You can’t imagine Joel having meaningless sex with anybody, he’s so respectful and attentive with you.

You raise an eyebrow. “Joel Miller, do you mean to make me believe that all the women in the neighborhood aren’t in love with you?”

“Oh Rose loves me for sure” and you laugh “but about the others… I don’t know, some of them tried a couple of times but I always rejected them. I told you, I didn’t have time for complications”

“Then why you’ve changed your mind now?”

“Sarah threatened to sign me up for Tinder if I didn't find someone. And then I met you”

You giggle “so you went out with me to be safe from Tinder”

“At first, maybe. But now you know that it's not just that, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

What he just did speaks volumes about how much he likes you.

And you’re even more convinced now.

You lower your head and lick the tip again swirling your tongue around it and he moans.

You slide your tongue flat along his length and wrap your hand around the base. It's big, bigger than you expected but you don't feel intimidated.

“Oh baby, you’re so good to me, what have I done to deserve such a perfect girl?”

He gasps when you took all you can of his cock in your mouth, feeling his length sliding over your tongue and his musky taste invading your palate, you whine beginning to suck like you’re desperate, stroking the rest of it with your fingers.

It doesn’t take too much before you start feeling him throbbing between your lips, he’s right on the edge as you suck and lick and kiss him like the most delicious lollipop you’ve ever had.

He pants loudly bucking his hips “Baby I’m almost - AH- almost there”

You make his cock pop out of your mouth “finish inside me, then”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m on the pill” you nod straddling his crotch and positioning his cock at your entrance.

You slowly lower yourself feeling the tip force its way into your hole and you moan with every inch that pushes its way inside you.

You stay still for a moment feeling his cock fill you up completely.

He says nothing but he looks you in the eyes and the brown of his pupils has become incredibly dark.

Eventually you start moving on top of him, placing your hands on his chest, your pussy making lewd sounds and your tits bouncing, he takes them in his hands squeezing them as he sinks into you, deeper and deeper and harder and harder.

You’re basically riding him and you've never felt so wild and free, your insecurities just disappeared clouded by your pleasure.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so gorgeous like this, look at the way your hips move, it’s so fucking amazing”

You throw yourself onto his chest as you feel his seed paint your walls, you take his mouth with yours stifling his moans that echo inside you.

He slides a hand between you, searching for your clit, and his calloused fingers begin to move over it. You end the kiss to look into his eyes, “don’t stop” he whispers “come for me baby.”

Your head feels light and your vision blurs as you feel your orgasm building up from the depths of your tummy, your pussy clenching and squeezing his cock.

You gush all over him like never before, making a mess of his crotch and the sheets underneath, crying his name so hard.

You rest your head next to his, inhaling the smell of tobacco, wood and the sweat of his neck, and you laugh, you laugh joyfully, “God,” and he does the same, wrapping his arms around you and caressing your back “Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, I'm sorry”

He holds you tighter “you don't have to be sorry, darling, it was wonderful”

“I made such a mess” you murmur

“So what? Nothing that laundry can’t fix. And I’m good at laundry, you know?”

He kisses your forehead and stroke your cheek “I haven't felt this good in ages”

“Yeah, me too” you kiss him wrapping one your leg around his.

You both stay quiet for a while, enjoying each other’s warmth, kissing every now and then suddenly it hits you and you say, “Do you know who we owe all this to?”

“No, I don’t honey, to whom?” he asks confused.

“Rose” you say “Think about it, if I hadn't brought her medicines that day we wouldn't be here now."

“That’s true. I think we should go visit her and bring her a nice present.”

“Yes. She will love the story of how we met.”

You kiss him again and think about what gift could match this. Probably none, because it's the best thing that's ever happened to you.

[transform4u]

I'm a doctor in Germany and was going to a medical meeting where I would have gotten a degree. Now, suddenly, a message came on my phone that read, "Foreign construction worker, come to work now!" And now I feel a bit dizzy... What is happening to me?

As you hear a resounding snaaaaaaaaap echoing through your mind, it’s as if a taut wire has snapped, sending a jarring shockwave that fractures your thoughts. Each idea, once so clear and vivid, begins to shatter and disperse, leaving behind a void where once was intellectual vigor. Your mind feels like it's being drained, thoughts popping out of existence one by one, leaving you increasingly confused and slack-jawed.

A warm, golden bronze tan starts to spread over your body, as though sunlight itself is pouring over you and sinking into your skin. It washes over you like a thick, honeyed glaze, settling into every pore and highlighting the emerging contours of your physique. The transformation feels oddly comforting, as if you’re being wrapped in a cocoon of warmth.

Your muscles begin to heat up with a noticeable intensity, a sensation akin to a furnace igniting inside you. You feel the surge of warmth as your abs start to plump and define themselves, each muscle segment becoming more prominent and pronounced. Your pecs swell, bouncing slightly with each breath and movement, filling out your chest with a robust, powerful fullness.

Hair begins to sprout from your chest, thick and wiry, weaving its way up toward your expanding biceps. As your arms grow larger and more muscular, the hair seems to sprout naturally, integrating seamlessly with your new physique. The feeling of your muscles expanding is both exhilarating and primal, a powerful surge of growth that you can almost feel at a cellular level.

Memories of med school slip away like sand through your fingers, replaced by a vivid reality of physical labor and camaraderie on the construction site. The clinical precision of your past life is overshadowed by the raw, visceral satisfaction of hard work and the boisterous environment of your new daily grind.

Your palms begin to sweat, the moisture mixing with the dust and grime of your labor. Callouses form on your hands, rough and tough from gripping tools and performing repetitive tasks. Sweat drips down your face and body, glistening in the sun and marking every effort you put in.

Your clothes adjust to your growing frame, shifting from neat scrubs to a dirty, ratty, and stained from the rigors of work. What was once crisp and clean now tells the story of your relentless effort. Your English skills become more limited, your German knowledge fading into the background, replaced by a working-class Hindi accent with a hint of Cockney.

As your mind dulls and your thoughts become simpler, laughter begins to bubble up from deep within you. It’s a deep, hearty laugh, resonating with your newfound, deeper voice. Each chuckle echoes with a sense of satisfaction and ease, reflecting the transformation you’ve undergone.

You take a swig of beer, feeling the cool liquid slide down your throat as you gaze out at the bustling construction site behind you. The sounds of hammers pounding and men shouting fill the air, a cacophony that's almost music to your ears. You let out a loud burrrrrp, the sound echoing throughout the site and causing a few of your mates to chuckle. You adjust your dick in your jeans, feeling it grow bigger as you do so. You flash a cocky smile, feeling like the king of the world.

As you continue to work, your eyes wander to the street outside the site. That's when you see her - a hot German babe walking down the street, her long blonde hair blowing in the wind. Your eyes are drawn to her boobs and ass, and you can't help but let out a few catcalls as she passes by. "Hey, you're a pretty one!" you shout, your words carrying across the street. "Nice tits, sweetheart!" You laugh as she gives you a dirty look and quickens her pace.

Your mates join in, hollering and whistling as they spot the babe. You laugh and joke with them, feeling like a teenager again. "I bet I can get a piece like that tonight, mate!" you say, your words slurred from the beer. "I mean, I'm a good-looking bloke, innit?" You chuckle.

You let out an obnoxious fart, the smell filling the air as you continue to work. Your mates laugh and tease you, but you just shrug it off. You're a dumbass construction worker, but you're happy with that. You've got your mates, your beer, and your fantasies. What more could a bloke want?

As the day goes on, you continue to work, your mind wandering to the babe and your fantasies. You know it's all just a waste of time, but you can't help yourself. You're a bloke, and blokes love to fantasize. You just hope that one day, you'll get lucky and score with a bird like that. But until then, you'll just have to keep dreaming.

[paradiseprincesss]

greedy | jonathan crane

a little short fic to help me get over my lackluster writers block. brownie points if u can guess which song i listened to that had me writing this xoxo. also not the first line being a gossip girl reference HAHAHAHA.

summary: whoever said jealousy and possessiveness doesn't go both ways?

warnings: smut, p in v, riding, degrading (just a sprinkle), office sex, jealousy, possessiveness, kissing, swearing, mdni 18+ only

word count: 1.7k

masterlist

if looks could kill, we wouldn't want to be jonathan crane right now.

you shot jonathan an irritated glare as his receptionist continued to talk to him, intruding on your time together.

you'd come to visit your lovely fiance at work today as you knew his job at arkham asylum was stressful to say the least, and you'd figured it would be sweet of you to come surprise him with lunch. what you didn't expect to find was his receptionist all over him in his office.

okay — maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but still! the way she was smiling at him, batting her lashes innocently, and using that weird, flirty tone with him was enough to get your blood boiling.

you trusted your fiance. you wouldn't have said yes to marrying him if you didn't — but you didn't like the way this bitch was trying to play coy. especially with you sitting right beside him the whole time; it was infuriating.

if you could choke her right now, you would've — but you didn't exactly want to end up as an inmate at your future husbands workplace.

"i called the DA's office to—" his receptionist started to speak, but jonathan cut her off with a bored tone.

"you've mentioned, thank you." his tone is dull, clearly not amused with her cheap attempts at whatever it was she was trying to do. "now, if you will excuse me — my lovely fiance and i are trying to enjoy lunch together."

"right," the receptionist said with a phoney smile, "i just wanted to make sure that you knew i called to schedule that meeting next week for you, jonathan."

"it's doctor crane to you." he said sternly, looking at her with a menacing glare through his glasses. the receptionist suddenly looked a little flustered as she collected her papers, shooting you a dirty look — which didn't go unnoticed.

of course, you didn't want to cause any issues at jonathan's work. especially not when he was stressed out enough from his job. so you let it slide (not without making a mental note of it first, though), and continued to eat your lunch with him quietly.

the following week, you returned to arkham to visit jonathan once more. you came bearing gifts (lunch), to which jonathan was elated. it wasn't often he got a break at work — but when his beautiful fiance came to visit, all his stress would seemingly melt away.

today, you brought his favourite. a sandwich from the cafe you two frequented on your days off, along with a coffee just the way he likes it — black with a dash of sugar. "darling, you didn't have to do all this just for me." jonathan said, bringing you in for a kiss.

"i wanted to," you informed him happily, "and it's only a twenty minute drive away from home, jon."

"still, you're too good to me." he said softly, taking the piping hot coffee from you. "i'm very lucky to have you, my love."

you wave off his words, shaking your head as you try and hide your smile — you always thought you were the lucky one. "oh, stop it."

the two of you finished off lunch seemingly uninterrupted today, just enjoying each others company. afterwards, jonathan informed you that he had some paperwork he had to do. patient intake forms, prescriptions, referrals — all the usual doctoral stuff.

"i'll see you at home then, honey." you said to him while placing a small kiss on his cheek, the colour of your lipgloss lingering on his face.

"nonsense, darling. it's just paper work — stay, please." jonathan insisted, pulling you onto his lap. "i've missed you. you know how much i despise working late. you're always asleep by the time i get home."

before you could respond, the sound of knocking on his closed office door interrupted your little moment together. the door swung open, and jonathan quietly let out an annoyed huff.

"doctor crane." his receptionist said, her tone much too sultry for your liking. she looked at you up and down, narrowing her eyes. "and hello to you, too."

you took in a deep breath, already annoyed. the tone of her voice was causing you to see red, and her outfit? questionable.

she wore the shortest possible skirt (how was this even considered professional?!) and a tight, almost see through blouse. you knew exactly what she was trying to do — and you weren't having it.

"do you always go around parading yourself like the workplace whore?" you asked suddenly, making jonathan choke on his coffee. "because truthfully, you're not very pretty and that outfit really isn't doing you any favours, either."

"excuse me?" she asked, her eyes going wide. "i'm sorry, but—"

"good, you should be sorry. stop flirting with my fiance before i make him fire you." you said harshly, looking at her with disgust and judgement. "you can go now."

hastily, the receptionist left in embarrassment. jonathan's hands snaked around your waist, giving you a little squeeze before he whispered in your ear. "someone's jealous, hm?" he asked, gently nipping at your neck. "you're so sexy when you're mad."

usually, it was jonathan getting jealous. with a body like yours and a face that pretty, you garnered attention from men every time you went out. jonathan was pretty much unfazed by it at this point — that was the price he had to pay if he wanted to marry someone as beautiful you.

but occasionally, the tables would turn and jonathan would be the one getting hit on. he'd always shut it down before really even started — once going as far as throwing a drink in a woman's face for grabbing his arm while he was at a bar with you.

"i want her fired." you said lowly as jonathan placed soft kisses down your neck, making you sigh with bliss.

"consider it done."

his hands came up to cup your breasts through your dress, making you moan. he reached over to the zipper on the back of your dress, unzipping it slowly as you wriggled around on his lap, feeling his cock getting harder by the second.

"you can be so mean." he teased, slipping you out of your dress sensually. "it looks good on you, though."

as your dress fell onto his office floor, you got up, walking around in just your lacy bra, panties, and high heels to the door, locking it shut. you made your way back over to jonathan, straddling him as he rested his arms on his office chair, leaning back with a sigh.

"you don't ever have to be jealous." he assured you softly, admiring the way your thong snugly fit against the curve of your hips. "how could i ever want someone else when i have the woman of my dreams with my ring on her finger — and soon, my last name."

"i don't like other girls looking at what's mine." you growled, pulling him in by his tie, causing him to smirk at you.

"you're so greedy for my love, aren't you?"

you offer no response, pressing your lips against his hungrily. he wraps his hands around your waist as you grind your hips onto his strained cock, hard and begging to be inside of you.

he unbuckled his belt, pulling out his cock — angry and hard, pre-cum leaking from the tip already. you smiled at him innocently.

jonathan wondered how you could look so naughty yet so angelic at the same time.

you lifted yourself up slightly, lining your drooling hole up with his thick cock. you slowly sink down onto his cock, the delicious stretch and feeling of your warmth enveloping him making the both of you moan. you started to move up and down on his cock, your wetness dripping down his cock and soaking his pants a bit.

"you're so beautiful," he breathed out, choking back a moan as he felt your tight, wet pussy around his cock, "but you like to be fucked like a cheap whore, don't you?"

his degrading words barely matched his sweet tone, but you nod your head regardless. even when you were riding him — when you were physically on top, he was still in charge — and you wouldn't have it any other way.

"i'm not talking money," you whimper, "i'm just physically obsessed."

"greedy little whore, that's what you are." he growled. you continued to bounce on his cock as you watched him drop his head backwards, hands gripping onto your waist in ecstasy. "you gonna come for me? come on, baby. show me how much you love my cock."

"mmhm! f-uuck, yes!" you whined, falling apart in his hands as you felt the tight coil in your stomach getting closer and closer to snapping. "need your cock all the fucking time, j-jon—"

"i know," he cooed softly, "i know you're about to come, darling."

"baaaaby—" you breathed out, your release washing over you. "oh my god!"

"that's fucking right." he almost snarled, watching your tits bounce in his face as you rode him even faster, taking his cock deeper with every up-and-down motion of your hips. "drench my cock like the greedy little bitch you are."

you did as you were told — creaming his thick cock as you threw your head back, lost in the pleasure that was consuming your whole body. your thighs started to tremble, giving out as your body went to overdrive.

"stay put," jonathan growled as his fingers dug into your flesh, "stay fucking put. you're — fuck, ugh — gonna take all my cum."

he started to ram into your cunt, bucking his hips upwards as you moaned and whined, feeling your second orgasm quickly approaching as jonathan chased his own. "c-close," you managed to say, "again."

"so greedy." he groaned as you came around his cock for the second time in the same minute. he came at the same time as you, feeling his cock spurt out hot ropes of cum into your spent little hole.

he raked a hand through his dark hair, pushing his fogged glasses up on his nose properly while he was at it. you let out a deep breath, looking at his handsome face with a soft smile on your lips. he returned your smile, his hands coming up to cup your face as he kissed you lovingly.

the two of you get cleaned up, getting dressed as jonathan had some important tasks to return to — he was at work, after all.

"i'll see you at home, then?" you asked softly, grabbing your purse before reaching for the door handle.

"yes, darling." he confirmed, giving you a gentle kiss. "i'll be home around nine — i got a little distracted at work today, so..."

@girlinterrupted505 @ciriceimpera @jordyn-yeager @thevelvetvampyre @galactict3a

@xanaxiii @nocturnest @psylrd @bloodandglitter207 @humbuginmybones 

@oceanstem @futurefamousdeadmusician @jonathancraneslittlepet @dolleyednymphette @kpopgirlbtssvt 

@ll4n4 @ilovetoxicfictionalmen @the-buddy-things @ellebelleshelby @wiseyouthinfluencer 

@aprilsfrog05 @minedofmoria @strangeobsessed @5tud10-54r4h @franzine-xii

@stsrfujid @psylrd @eyraaaaaae @nyxxie-pooh @momoewn

[ironstrange1991]

A Very Busy Sorcerer

Pairing: Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Stephen has been very busy the last few days and the reader decides he needs a moment to relax.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: SMUT: Handjob and some dirty talk. Use of the word daddy one or two times. Mostly fluff.

A/N: Working two jobs I haven't had much time to write, but I managed to finish this one for you guys and I hope you like it.

One of the things you tried not to do was disturb Stephen when he was working. You were still getting used to the idea of ​​living together, even though you had been dating for almost 2 years and you were used to him sleeping in your apartment or you sleeping at the Sanctum almost every day, but actually living together was completely different and you wanted to show him that you knew how to respect his space and that you understood how busy he was.

However, since Stephen had set the date for the next mission with the Avengers he was always stressed, always worried and barely left the library, always reading and preparing for whatever he had to do. - As time went by, you stopped asking him to explain his missions to you. Today was no exception, Stephen was in the library, he was there all day in fact and even though it was Saturday, Wong was still wandering around the Sanctum instead of going back to the Kamar Taj like he normally did on the weekends, and you were bored and upset at being left aside and knowing that soon you would be alone in that huge house.

But you weren’t worried about yourself, you were worried about Stephen. He had barely been eating the last few days and when you brought it up he always said he was fine, but all that nervousness and stress couldn't be further from fine. You just wish you could find a way to make him stop and breathe for a minute and perhaps relax a little bit before going out on his mission. If you could just get him to talk to you a little, or eat something healthy, you'd feel less worried.

You found yourself searching for Wong to make sure he wasn't in the library too and found the Sorcerer Supreme in the Window of Worlds room doing who knows what. Having decided, you went to the library and found Stephen at his desk reading a huge book. He was so absorbed in his reading that he even noticed you approaching, even though Cloaky broke free from his shoulders and flew towards you.

He only noticed you when you were already at his side, asking so that the sentient relic could leave your both alone for a moment. Cloaky flew away happily and you smiled feeling a warmth in your heart. Sometimes you caught yourself thinking it was weird to have so much affection for a piece of clothing, but Cloaky was so much more than that you end up telling yourself every time.

Stephen sighed heavily as if he expected you to complain to him, even though he knew you never complained. Maybe he simply knew he had crossed the line today.

 "Sweetheart, I know its Saturday and I know I should be spending some time with you, but I really need to find this specific spell..."

You shushed him wrapping your hands around his shoulders and positioning yourself right behind him. "I know. I didn't come here to complain, Steph. Do what you have to do." You said in a honeyed voice and began to massage his shoulders slowly. "I just want to spend some time with you while I can, if that's okay. I promise I won't disturb you."

He sighed heavily as you started working on a knot on his right shoulder and you could feel him melting under your touch and that was one of the things you loved most in the world.

"You could never disturb me, sweetheart. Hmm, this feels so good. I don't deserve you, Y/n."

"Shh. Enjoy it."

You smiled to yourself and continued with the massage and Stephen did his best to turn his attention back to his book which from what you could see was all written in runes.

It wasn't your intention to distract him, but you couldn't help but feel a little proud when you noticed how much he was melting into your touch, the slight moans he made every time you put more pressure on an area of ​​his shoulders that needed to be worked on more carefully and – of course – it didn’t took long for dirty thoughts start to creep into your mind.

As the minutes passed, your hands began to become more daring, going down his defined chest covered by his blue robes and he sighed contentedly when your lips began to place little kisses on the back of his neck, going up to bite his earlobe and finally whispering into his ear.

"Does it feel good?"

He groaned, lolling his head back and closing his eyes and resting it on your chest.

"It's perfect. I'm so tired, sweetheart. You have no idea."

You nodded "Yes I do. I’ve been worried about you all day. That's why I'm here. I wanted to make you relax a little bit."

He hummed positively, "God, it's working. I love the way you work your hands, Y/n. They're delicate, but firm at the same time. Perfect."

You felt your heart flutter in your chest and decided to dare a little by running your hand down his chest until you reached his belt. "Yeah? What if I use them here. Do you think I can make you relax even more?"

Stephen almost purred feeling your fingers ghosting over a growing bulge. He let out a low moan when you held him over his pants, rubbing your hand against him to tease him and then you dedicated yourself to unbuckling his belt.

You placed a kiss on his neck and walked around his chair, placing yourself between him and his desk. Stephen moved the chair back, giving you more space and watched you kneel in front of him with a big and warm smile.

You unbuttoned his pants and quickly took his cock out. He was already half hard and you couldn't resist giving him a little kiss on the head as he moaned a little louder this time but quickly tried to compose himself.

"Sweetheart...Wong is still at the Sanctum."

You smiled mischievously, licking your hand and started pumping him up and down slowly.

"I know."

Stephen let out a nervous chuckle, but his cock quickly hardened in your hand. "You know he could come in here at any moment, then.” Though his words should sound like a warning, his voice broke with sweet moans and you thought they were really cute.

“Oh fuck... these hands... devilish."

You giggled, stopping just for a second so you could spit on his cock and go back to stroking him. The wet, lewd sound only adding even more to his pleasure.

Stephen bit his lower lip hard to try and suppress a loud moan at which you tsked.

"It's okay, let me hear you, Steph. Wong is up stairs, it's just you and me here. You know I love hearing your moans, they make me so wet. Sometimes I touch myself just thinking about it, replaying the sound on my head."

Stephen gasped as you held him tighter twisting your hand while moving it up and down. His legs shook a little and he moaned loudly for you just the way you loved to hear.

"So fucking dirty, sweetheart. Oh I love it! I love when you work your hands in my dick. The best handjob I ever had."

You smiled proudly. "Yeah? You're flattering me just because you want me to make you cum."

Stephen moaned even louder this time.

"God yes, please. I need you to make me cum, sweetheart. But it's not only because of that. You're perfect. You know I always say this. You’re always so good to me."

One of the things you loved most about Stephen was how controlling and rough he could be in sex and at the same time be sweet and affectionate. He was always so sweet when he let you have control over him like that, and you loved it.

You spat on his cock again and started working with both hands, rotating one from the base to the tip and the other massaging his balls. Stephen let out a groan and caressed your face, his thumb pulling your bottom lip down.

"Why don't you put that little mouth to work for me, uh? I'm dying for a blowjob."

You smiled mischievously, but even though his voice sounded so pleading and sexy, broken by small moans, you didn't give in. You know he would take back control to himself if you let him fuck your mouth, and you were loving that little submissive moment of his.

"I want you to cum on my hands, Stephen. You just told me how much you love them. They are not enough?"

"Yes I do.  Shit! They’re more than enough, sweetheart. I could cum just from thinking about them as I did so many times. " He whispered between moans and his thighs trembled under your hands and his cock throbbed. "Fuck… but I need it faster, need more."

You bit your lip holding back a moan of your own. Seeing your man in that state was a huge turn on for you.

"Fuck Stephen... I'm so wet right now. Pussy is begging for you, and I know you want me too. So badly. You wanna put your cock inside me, don't you? Fell my pussy stretching around it..."

"Fuck yes." Stephen groaned and his cock jumped in your hand.

You started to work both hands on his cock, feeling him throb beneath them. He was so close, all he needed was a little push.

"Come on then, Steph, show me how much you love my hands. Cum all over them, make a mess for me. I just want you to feel relaxed, you deserve it. Have been working so hard these last few days. I just want to make you feel good."

"Oh yeah, sweetheart..." He moaned loudly. "Keep talking to me."

You smiled, satisfied now that you had him the way you wanted. "Give me your cum, daddy. Love you so much. I just want to be a good girl for you, wanna make daddy cum in my hands. I know you love my hands, Stephen. Show me how much. Give it to me."

Stephen let out a loud groan and started to cum. Warm and thick ropes of cum spurting from his cock and spilling onto your hands.

"There you go, Steph" You praised.

"Oh fuck... oh sweetheart. God, I love you, sweet girl." The words escaped his trembling lips as his body shook. His cum running down your fingers, some soiling the top half of his robes. A delicious mess.

He caressed your face, laughing softly, the sound making your heart jump in your chest.

"Such a good girl for daddy. Love you so much, Y/n."

You smiled sweetly at him watching as he conjured a cloth and began to clean himself as best as he could, but you knew it would take a lot more than that to get the smell of cum out of his robes.

He took your hands and began to gently clean them and then got rid of the dirty cloth and buttoned his pants and belts again with a flick of his fingers.

"I'll let you get back to work now." You said, getting up and threatening to leave, but he was faster. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to sit on his lap.

"Do you really think I'm going to let you go that easily?" He threatened with a smirk.

"I don't want to disturb your work, Steph."

He buried his face in your hair inhaling deeply.

"Too late for that, don't you think? Or did you really think I could go back to work after a handjob like that?"

You let out a small giggle "I didn't mean to."

He pulled your hair to the side and purposefully rubbed his goatee across the crook of your neck making your skin prickle. "Well, I think that was exactly your intention and now you got what you wanted."

"And what exactly did I want?" You asked, feigning innocence.

Stephen bit your earlobe "Making me hard for you, wanting to fuck you senseless until you ask me to stop."

"That’s not true." You said petulantly, turning to look at him and pulling him to your lips. "I never ask you to stop." You said biting his lip.

Stephen held you tight in his lap, standing up and opening a portal to his room. Work would have to wait.

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing ;)

DOCTOR STRANGE MASTERLIST

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[phoenixblaze1412]

Hello there!!!👋

May I ask for some angst?

Dottore spending time with his biological child and the more the day progresses he sees his wife (who died a few day after giving birth to their child) in their child (A headcanon and/or small scenario plz)

Thank you!!!

Gonna make me cry anon.. also might have changed it a bit.

Taking care of a kid is a difficult task for Dottore himself. Especially if it was his own. A healthy baby girl, how ironic that she looked exactly the same as you. Neither of you didn't expect such a tragedy to happen, mostly him.

"Sir, she won't be able to make it." Omega stated, watching over your vital signs. Your body was currently too weak to deliver the baby, and being in labor wasn't helping a lot.

"Then let the child die. I'd rather lose the kid than lose my wife." Dottore snapped as he quickly went and placed an oxygen mask over you, tucking away the lose strands of your hair away from your face. He was quick to notice your breathing becoming more heavy and labored.

"Both her and the child will die if we continue with that idea!" the Theta segment exclaimed.

The three of them were quick to shut up when they heard your pained groans. Immediately examining and looking you over to at least lessen the pain you were experiencing but still keeping you conscious.

Dottore was already in a state of anger and worry, thinking up of multiple solutions to get the child out of you all the while keeping you alive but that seems to be difficult since you don't even have the strength to push the baby out so maybe a c-section will do but the chance of you dying is big. He was quick to come out of his thoughts when you grabbed his arm, making him focus his attention to you.

"Zandik please.. promise me you won't let our baby die."

He let out a deep sigh before nodding at your request. Even at times like these, he could never say no to you. He called over a few more segments to begin your surgery. A simple c-section, nothing to worry about right? But why was he, he of all people suddenly felt fear as he held the scalpel upon your stomach.

It's not right. He knows this will end up badly if he continued, he already felt it. Snapping out of his thoughts once more when he heard you cry out in pain, he nodded to his segments to sedate you for a bit as he began the operation.

Seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned to hours. Every segment waited anxiously as they watched their creator work strenuously. The once silent room was filled with small cries as Dottore held his newborn child, dirty from all the blood and amniotic fluid but alive and well. Iota walked over to take the baby from Dottore to clean her up as the doctor went and stitched you up while the other segments who were present had cheerful grins along their faces.

Their happiness was quickly cut off the moment they heard the sound of your heart monitor dropping. Dottore glanced up and glared at Omega, cursing under his breath as he finished stitching you up to help Omega with keeping you stable.

"You incompetent fool! I gave you one job!"

Panic. That's what they're all feeling the moment when you became cardiac asystole. Dottore and Omega resuscitating you the best they can, even using electro to give your heart a shock to at least show any heart rhythm but none came.

"(Y/N) please wake up! You can't leave me! Come on! Your child- our child is safe and awake now it's your turn to wake up please!"

It's been fifteen minutes max with no signs of you showing any heartbeat, the segments could only look away, not wanting to cry in front of you. The sudden weight being placed upon them at the news of your death was overbearing.

Even Iota couldn't believe it. But even so, he couldn't cause any tantrums, he couldn't yell or even throw anything out of anguish. He was holding your child at the moment. The baby you left to them before you passed. It took him a few minutes to calm the baby down and wrap her up in a blanket.

Meanwhile Dottore was still leaning over your figure, his hand held yours as he leaned his forehead against your knuckles. Both of your wedding rings, glimmering against the light.

Dottore knew something bad was going to happen. He felt it bubbling in his guts yet he let it happen. The moment Iota walked back into the room with his daughter in his hold, Dottore glared at them.

"I don't want to see that thing near me. Dispose of it immediately. Give it to the Knave or send it someplace else."

Iota was quick to snap at the order, sure he's still in despair about losing you like how the others feel but his creator telling him to dispose of your own offspring is not what he expected to hear.

"What are you thinking?! (Y/N) carried your child for months, having to go through all the hardships a pregnant woman would go through and here you are disposing her efforts?!"

"I already knew from the start that saving the child would end up with her death! I would have preferred to save her instead of the child!"

"Would she want you to?! You know her well enough to know that she would rather risk herself in danger to save a life! She already said it herself before the operation! You promised her not to let the child die!"

Dottore was quick to shut up, looking over at the little figure bundled up in the blankets. Thoughts filled with 'what if's' as he looked back at your figure on the examining bed.

What if he chose to save you instead of his child? Would you even be happy towards him if you knew about his plans?

A soft coo was heard as Iota looked down at the baby before carefully handing her over to Dottore. The doctor was hesitant at first but he took the chance to hold his own child in his arms. The baby let out little babbles and gargles as her hands reach out to the doctor and tried to grab at his hair.

Dottore observed her actions, looking over her features and letting out a bitter laugh at how his own daughter had most of your features. It's like the gods are being cruel and making his own heart hurt more than it already is.

"From now on, your name will be ■■■■. (Y/N) thought of that name for you."

"Papa? Wake up!"

Dottore slowly opened his eyes and noticed he had fallen asleep on the grass. Finally remembering that he was joining his daughter in the forests of Sumeru to look for some flowers. He was assigned on a mission to take the dendro, along with the electro gnosis back as soon as possible but his daughter wanted to explore a bit and take a break.

Dottore glanced up and squinted his eyes as he stared up at the figure leaning over him. Eyes widening in surprise as he stared at you, the light shining brightly from behind you made you look so angelic and beautiful. He continued to stare at you, tears pricking the corner of his eyes, your face so full of life and a grin plastered on your face as you looked back at him.

He tried to reach his hand out to you but you quickly vanished the moment he blinked and was now staring at his four year old daughter.

"Are you okay papa? Why are you crying?"

Dottore was quick to wipe the tears away from his eyes as he sat up and looked over his child. Oh how he misses you so. Everytime he looks and talks to his child it felt like it was him talking to you instead. Your looks, the way you talk, even your attitude was passed onto your daughter.

He could only laugh at the idea that if you were still with them, he would be having two of the most sassiest women in Teyvat in his life. He got up on his feet and ruffled his daughter's hair.

"Have you gotten what you needed, little one?"

"Mhm! I finally got these flowers! Iota told me all about them and I wanted to take some home myself."

She held up a bouquet of padisarah flowers, the doctor could only stare in surprise at how she even got them, moreso why did Iota even told her about it.

"Iota told me how they were mama's favorite flowers and showed me pictures of her holding them. He told me how you would always gift her a bouquet of these whenever you came back from Sumeru and I wanted to give these to mama too... can I give these to her? Will mama like it?"

"...she would love them a lot, my child. Now come on, once I finished my mission then we can visit your mother and give her these gifts. She would be happy to receive these flowers from you."

[lorelune]

(aventurine x reader /// continuation of this concept)

"explain to me," the good doctor demands, "why do you need my help?"

"because." you fumble around you're words. your lips feel cold. herta's space station, especially this deep in it's bowels, is an unpleasant place to have any conversation, let alone one that is also unpleasant. "i don't have time."

"and you assume i do?"

"partially?" you rub a hand over your cheek. "throw me a bone here, doctor."

ratio has been sizing you up for the better part of half an hour, scrutinizing your intent in any way he can. you have been skillfully attempting to dodge most of those attempts, but veritas ratio is as diligent a man as he is intelligent. which is to say that he is not letting up until you divulge the truth.

you sigh.

"you will explain to me," he says outright, gaze piercing. "how one of the intelligentsia guild's most esteemed researchers needs help with an algorithm that is far below both of our skill levels. it's insulting to both myself, and yourself."

you sigh again, deeper and harder, "i, once again, do not have time. i have the 'full time job' of handling aventurine's odds, and those calculations don't run like any other odds i've ever worked with, and he is a variable constantly in motion. i need help making this algorithm so i can have some assistance with my main job at hand."

the doctor scoffs, and walks a circle around you, "i'm sure he's just thrilled with the company."

"we— he manages."

more than. but, veritas doesn't need to know that. you're sure he'll figure it out eventually.

veritas tagged the briefcase on a nearby table. it's gleaming, with a discreet ipc logo embossed on the side. the sight of it makes you nauseous with anxiety.

"is this bribe from him?" he asks.

"no." you've stopped aventurine anytime he has tried to intervene and make things easier for you. he rarely listens, but your relationship with ratio and the guild make him somewhat neutral territory. "higher up."

"i assume diamond wouldn't bother to dirty her hands. so, jade?"

"yes."

dr. ratio, for the first time, seriously considers your offer. then scowls. "it would be a waste of my time."

you sigh. there was a 67.22% chance of this outcome. luckily, you have gamed out the conversation from here.

"so you can't?"

"you know i can."

then, you laugh, and shake your head. "yes, i do. sorry to tease. i'm quite tired."

"you should go find your gambler." veritas crosses his arms, looking sidelong at the briefcase.

"i will, eventually." you turn your back to veritas as you begin to leave the open atrium. the air is hollow and frigid. "i'll just ask some other intelligentsia guild members about the project first. i'm sure they'd be happy to help."

you only take a few steps before dr. ratio grabs your arm. his grip is far too strong.

(chance of failure to secure dr. veritas ratio's assistance: decreased by 31%.)

"don't bother them."

"someone needs to help." you turn back to look at him, expression schooled. "and if you won't, i'm very sure someone else will be happy to work beside 'one of the intelligentsia guild's most esteemed researchers'. or, does such a title not truly apply considering i've been ousted from my previous position?"

he frowns, but before he can speak, you interrupt him. you haven't seen veritas since being tied down to your current post. you haven't let him have it. he deserves it, maybe.

"i heard from jade that i received a glowing recommendation from another well-respected scholar. apparently, the position was being considered for either one of us. somehow, with that recommendation, i drew the short end of the stick and now play handler for a man with a death wish and a statistically measurable chaos quotient that's ever-changing in multiples of three."

veritas's face is unmoving. unchanging. but you know you've struck something. it was to be him or you in this position. and you don't have the pride he does. you place your hand over top of his, posed to speak, to tear him apart—

a shrill ringtone shatters the tension. it's yours. you already know who it is.

you flip your phone open with one hand, still staring at ratio.

"hello," aventurine's voice beckons from the other side, smug and smooth. "where is my favorite, most brilliant mind hiding out? we're due to leave soon."

"sadly, with another one of your favorite, brilliant minds. i'll be finished up shortly and meet you at the docks."

"aw, did he not get onboard? that's quite the choice for him to be making. do you want me to give him a talking to you?"

"no, it's fine. i'm working something out."

"you sound upset."

"i'm tired." you rub at your eyes and break away from veritas with a yawn.

"you can nap on the ship. we have quite the journey."

"that we do. i'll see you in a bit?"

"see you there." you can hear the smirk in his voice.

sending you down to veritas alone was aventurine's gamble. one that is working out, predictably. never mind the damage your reputation will take after these next moments. you close the phone with a sigh and begin toward the grand elevator.

"veritas," you call his name. "i forgive you, for what it's worth. try not to do it again."

"i couldn't."

you laugh and shake your head as you ascend. by the time you arrive at the docks, the ipc's premier vessel is packed away and priming its engines. lights and sirens echo from it. aventurine's idles outside, waiting for you. he beams when he sees you.

"so," he whistles, guiding you with a hand on your lower back. you let him. "was the good doctor as prickly as ever?”

"if not more so" you admit. aventurine gestures with a sweeping hand to your shared quarters for the time being. there's a single bed, but you're used to this. you've come not to mind it. "i think i bruised his ego."

with a genuine laugh, “i don’t think that's possible."

"want to bet on that?" you ask.

your phone's text tone chimes and you shoot aventurine a sharp smile.

aventurine's odds are ridiculous. ever changing, constantly moving. none of your perceptions and calculations that are usually steadfast and unmoving can keep up with him. not with efficiency, anyways. it's exhausting work. however, the likelihoods of everything but aventurine? the predictions of a man like ratio?

easy. simple. you could do them in your sleep.

aventurine squishes against your side as you open your newest message.

[SENDER: Doctor Ratio <intelligentsia guild>]

> here is a first draft. forgo payment. i do not need to be in the stonehearts’ pocket.

[file attached: STONE ALGORITHM DRAFT 1.0.spqxxxiun.pqo]

aventurine laughs, muffling it against the side of your neck. his teeth are sharp and his breath is warm. it settles something in you. you lean into him and deflate, sliding down into your lap so your head is pillows there. a gloved hand cards through your hair.

"you're quite good at the game, when you choose to play." aventurine reminds you. he tells you this often.

"i know." you turn your face into his hand as the ship rumbles. "but it's your job."

aventurine pauses his pets, then thumbs over your lips. he looks sour, only for a moment, before resuming his motions, a bit rougher this time. you relish the feel of it, sinking into it.

"one of us has to, right?"

"right."

"and the other," he taps your lips. your sputter, indignant. "plays support."

"one of us has to." you remind him.

it's silent between the two of you as the ship whirs and bellows, taking off from herta's space station without reverie. onto your next destination, wherever aventurine is deigned to be needed, with you by his side, dutifully.

you press your face into his stomach, letting the smell of linen and his cologne envelope you.

neither of you have a choice to play this game. the cards are stacked, and you best not loose count from aventurine's side. you'll be damned if you do.

(there is a 98.769% chance that you are damned regardless.)

at least, at least, you have each other, you think as aventurine bundles you up closer, and you wrap yourself around him. you'll take that, for as long as it lasts.

[heyyyitsgrey]

Carlisle Cullen- NSFW Alphabet

LETS GOOO- continuing my smut streak

Here you go anon, I hope this meets your expectations lmao. Once again, Carlisle isn’t my cup of tea so let’s hope this is up to par.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

This man is a god when it comes to aftercare. He knows exactly what you need and when. He is particularly fond of cuddling after sex, although if you want to do something else, that is what y'all will end up doing.

He makes it a priority after having sex that you 1) have water and 2) go to the bathroom. I mean he's a doctor STD prevention is going to be a very big thing for him. (Can vampires get STDs? Can they give them to someone else?? These are the questions we should be asking)

B = Body part (Their favorite body part and also their partner’s)

His favorite part of his body is his hands (in both a sexual manner and a non-sexual manner). He loves how you react to his touch when he trails his hands over your body.

His favorite part of your body is probably your chest. It's his favorite place to line with hickies because no one can see them when you're wearing a shirt. Plus, he can hear your heart racing easiest from your chest.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…I’m a disgusting person)

He loves cumming inside you, but ever the gentleman, Carlisle would only ever cum inside you with your permission. Otherwise, he loves cumming all over your thighs. (He would clean it up though don't worry)

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He would love having you sit under his desk (either at work or home) and just be his cock warmer. Although, he wouldn't bring it up in fear of making you uncomfortable or feel exposed.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

I feel like he wouldn't have that much experience, I mean before he was turned it was the 1600s (I think?), and waiting for marriage was a very big thing then. Despite his general lack of experience, he would still know how to please you.

F, = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

The obvious answer here is missionary (because his dad was a priest- get it??), but I think his favorite position would be you riding him. He likes it when you’re on top. He’d like being able to control your hip movements and how much you move. He’s a doctor, being in control in all aspects of his life is a necessity .

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

He’s probably something in between serious and goofy in the moment. When y’all are done and he’s started aftercare though- he’s completely serious until you’ve drank some water and gone to the bathroom. (It doesn’t matter if your human or not-he’ll make sure you take care of yourself)

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Like the other guys' hair growth isn't an issue for Carlisle, he'll go to you and ask what you think. Whatever you say is what he does. And yes, the carpet does match the drapes.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He tries his hardest to be romantic all the time, during sex especially. He wants you to know just how much he adores you (although there’s no way for his level of adoration to be properly expressed without hours of overstimulation)

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Hmmm because he grew up in the 1600’s I feel like he’d have an aversion to masturbation. He’d feel guilty jacking off but he’d love to watch you masturbate.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Overstimulation is one of his biggest kinks. Turning you into a blubbering mess, crying for him to stop could get him off on its own

He’d like the idea of exhibitionism but he’d probably never bring it up to you. For example, his dirty secret of getting you to suck him off under his desk.

He’s a voyeur (he will not admit it) but only when watching you get yourself off- if you have sex with someone else mmm have fun with the aftermath of that

Temperature play would be another of his favorites. Pouring hot wax on your skin and then using his hands or a piece of ice to cool the skin around it? Oh yeah sign him up

Cock warming (is that a kink?) would be yet another thing he doesn’t bring up. But god, the idea of his cock just in you (or your mouth) not moving, for some reason it makes him hard.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

His all-time favorite place would be in his office/study. Fucking you over his desk with the threat of someone walking in looming over your heads? Yeah, that’s peak sex. He’d also like to have sex in your bed in the privacy of your shared room.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

There isn’t anything specific that turns him on. You could say his name (not in a casual conversation way but in the same tone you would in bed) and he’d have a boner. OOH also bedroom eyes…give him bedroom eyes and you better start running.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

If you're injured that’s a hard no. The only thing you should do when injured is rest, and forget having sex. Impact play is completely off the table, the idea of you being hurt at his hand makes him sick, for god's sake he’s a doctor that’s the opposite of what he should be doing.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

This man would love getting head. I feel like he’d like having you on your knees, it’s a control thing. Plus, feeling you gag around his cock pushes him closer to cumming in your mouth- When you’re giving him head he’d prefer cumming in your mouth one hundred percent.

He’d love giving head. He’s pretty skilled at giving head, depending on how horny you are he could make you cum with his mouth in just a few minutes. It plays into his overstim kink, seeing how many times he can make you cum with just his mouth is like a game to this man.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)

Carlisle would prefer a slower pace, everything around him moves super quickly, so sex would be the one thing he wants to be slow. He gets off at a slower sensual pace. Trailing his hands all over your body, leaving trails of kisses down your body.

Q = Quickie (Their opinion on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He prefers proper sex to quickies, he wants to make sure you feel properly appreciated. However, if one or both of you need to get off before he goes to work he’s not opposed to it.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He wouldn’t be one to experiment all that much. Temperature play was only brought into the picture after you thoroughly explained that the wax wouldn’t leave your skin burnt. Forget risks altogether. The most he would risk is getting caught with your and his pants down. It doesn’t matter if you're human or vampire, risk and experiment are not his thing.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Since he’s a vampire he has heightened stamina and can go on for a while. If you’re human he’ll go as long you want or can (if he’s in the mood for overstim). If you’re a vampire it’s the same situation, he’ll go until you can’t.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He only owns one toy, a vibrator. He’s never used it on himself, it’s specifically for you. He added it to his little overstimulation game, and it’s one of the best decisions he ever made.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He’s not that much of a tease. Most times when he teases you it’s when he’s in the middle of overstimulating you. He’ll look you in the eye and say “Come on love, one more yeah? I think you can handle one more. For me,”

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s not loud, nor is he all that vocal. He’s the most vocal when you're giving him head. A lot of the time, the sounds he makes are drowned out by the sounds you make.

He loves it when you moan, it is the best signal that what he’s doing is making you feel good. But, if your fucking in a place or when your not supposed to be he’ll cover your mouth. “Be quiet love. You don’t want us to get caught, do you?”

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He’s big on safe words (and say it with me now- it’s a control thing). He wants you to be comfortable at all times, so the best way to guarantee that is a safe word. Plus, when you're too fucked out for full sentences a safe word is the best way to stop.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Hmmm- he’s just slightly bigger than average. He’s not that thick. Overall, it doesn’t matter cause he can make you see stars anyway.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is slightly higher than that of a sixteen-year-old boy. (So really fucking high) If he had the time you’d fuck twice a day, but alas he doesn’t.

Z = ZZZ (…how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s a vampire, so he doesn’t have the need to sleep. If you’re a human, after you’ve gone to the bathroom and drank some water, he’ll hold you as you sleep. If you’re a vampire, after cleaning up, you’ll more likely end up cuddling.

[alreadyblondenow]

▸ Assassin Jaehyun x Assassin Female reader ▸ Smut, Smut, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Gore, MATURE ▸ JAEHYUN SMUT SERIES: FUCK, MARRY, KILL ▸ VOLUME I: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3

THIS IS PART 3. THIS IS PART 3. THIS IS PART 3.

VOLUME I: PART 2 WORD COUNT: 10,748k

Warnings: THIS FIC IS FICTION ONLY, Smut, smut, smut, MATURE THEMES, Heavy description of killings because most of the characters are assassins, mentions of blood, character death, A LOT OF NCT MEMBERS WILL D WORD IN THIS FIC, unprotected sex, mentions of condoms, mentions of pill, pregnancy, swearing, mentions of alcohol. Mentions of being an orphan, Not everything is proofread, apologies again. Kidnapping, burning of possession, I hope I did not forget anything.

A/N: I will cut VOLUME I into three parts, PART I AND PART II is posted already. Thank you to my readers!!! Im sorry if it took me so long to post a usual. VOLUME 2 will be posted HOPEFULLY BY THE END OF FEBRUARY :( please understand that I want to support Taeyong's second solo album first.

When Jaehyun needed to let go of your hand and allow the doctors to do their job, everything became silent and he never felt so weak like this before. It was not too long when the others came but Jaehyun already lost himself and kept thinking who did this to you. There’s only one man in his mind though, Kun. 

By the time you were stable and safe from death, Jaehyun couldn’t let go of your hand, even while he was sleeping. But days passed by slowly, and your condition wasn't getting any better, this is where he started feeling angry again, frustrated because he couldn't do anything to wake you up. He didn’t have any choice but to go back to where he’s good at. Killing. 

“Save yourself from the trouble, let us handle this stay here with her, she’ll love it when she wakes up and you’re beside her” Yuta tried to persuade Jaehyun. 

“I’ll do this on my own. Keep her safe for me. When she wakes up… tell her I’ll be with her soon” Jaehyun says before kissing you goodbye, whispering sweet things beside your ear. 

“Please don’t leave me. I will be nothing without you” he says. 

During the days that he’s tracking Kun, Jaehyun promises to himself that from now on, he will be a boss while being an assassin himself, killing everyone that goes on his way, he is blinded by his anger and want for revenge. He will work harder to achieve piece in your lives even tho he needs to bring chaos first. 

When Jaehyun finally met Kun face to face, he did not know why finding and looking for him felt wrong, it was as if the clues that he had never pointed him to Kun’s direction but he kept on insisting on blaming Kun… because he really don’t know who to kill. 

“Do you know why the Phantoms are always ahead of you…. Because you’re stupid” Kun mocks Jaehyun. “I’ll tell you who wanted Y/n dead but I want something big in return”

“You can’t bring money on your deathbed Kun. Come on be creative, ask for something else” 

Kun just gave him a mocking smile. 

“So who wanted Y/n dead?” Jaehyun asked, pointing his gun toward Kun. 

“I think you can answer that question… actually, I think you know the answer already”

It was quiet for some time. Crazy how Kun’s words were true and Jaehyun was just denying the fact that… his father is the one who wanted you dead. He had a hunch already. But blood is still blood. Jaehyun couldn’t swallow that pill. 

“Imagine this Jaehyun… you and Y/n in a faraway place. Get married privately. Away from all the family drama. Build a home. Build a family. Isn’t that what you want? Well… according to Hendery that’s what Y/n wanted” 

Immediately Jaehyun’s world stopped. Kun already knew that he was about to get what he wanted in this life. It's not easy to have a deal with a Phantom, but for you, Jaehyun is willing to risk that.

“Just tell me if I should do the dirty work Jeong” Kun added.

By the time you gain continuousness and finally awake from your deep sleep, you look for Jaehyun beside you but it was Mark you saw first, followed by Yuta who just entered the room with a cup of noodles. Of course, you remember being food poisoned, coughing blood and staining Jaehyun’s clothes, you still remember the horrible memories before you closed your eyes that time. 

“I know you miss Jaehyun even when you’re sleeping— but he just got home from a mission alone… he will be here soon” Mark whispered. “He did it Y/n, he killed Kun. The last of the Phantoms” Yuta added. 

“How long was I sleeping?” You asked weakly. You can’t believe that Jaehyun was back to killing while you were out. He hasn’t gotten his hand dirty for years.

“Roughly 14 days-“

“He tracked and killed Kun in 14 days?” You let out a laugh. 

“Well, we almost lost you Y/n” Mark said and you can only imagine how Jaehyun felt. 

While waiting for Jaehyun to arrive, you fell asleep and dreamt of him kissing and snuggling you under the beautiful sunset, holding hands while enjoying the warmth of the sun, little did you know, Jaehyun was already beside you. Trying to gently wake you up. And by the time you opened your eyes, his lips found yours and you pulled him in for an embrace. He look tired, he got thin in a matter of days. 

“Let’s go far away from this place and live peacefully” he asked of you sweetly. “Do you like that?” His hands found yours, he was cold and shaking, oh how you wish it was warm and relaxed like how you dreamt of him. 

After being discharged from the hospital, he was focused on you. He even discharged you from the hospital himself and drove you home. A new house. Everything happened so fast, and you don’t know why Jaehyun is like this. He never left the house, he’s always by your side but he’s always on his toes, always on the phone, almost not sleeping. What’s happening? 

“Here, you feeling okay?” He handed you your medicine and a glass of water, watching you very carefully as you take everything. 

“Why are you watching me like a hawk Jae?” Your arms immediately wrapped around him. You’re still weak and he can see it. 

“I’m just doing my job” he smiles and kisses your forehead before he returns the embrace. He’s always by your side lately, you’re not complaining but you wish he could be honest and tell you everything. 

“Hmm. That’s my job. Protecting you Jeong Yoonoh” you teased him. He just laughed. 

“Do you know how painful it is to watch you sleep, and talk to you while you were unconscious? I never want that to happen again. I felt so hopeless. It’s like I was ready to die any minute”

Of course you know what he felt. You almost lost him too. “From now on… can you just let me… let me protect you. Let me take care of you. No questions asked?” He looked you in the eye and waited for your answer. 

You just nod. 

After a few weeks of staying in the new house, Jaehyun surprised you with a long vacation in Italy. You already knew that this trip was a secret to the world. A trip between you and Jaehyun only while Taeyong, Mark, and Yuta are on standby protecting you and Jaehyun. “I don’t like this princess treatment. What is going on?” You asked Taeyong sternly. But as per Jaehyun’s request, he did not tell you anything. 

Jaehyun was extremely quiet during the trip. Almost as if his mind is somewhere else but you couldn’t ask him. You feel like he’s somewhere else. 

It was dark when you two arrived at this secluded farm but you trusted Jaehyun’s words, “you’ll love this place” The house was simple. There’s grass everywhere, beautiful garden, all kinds of flowers and shrubs, and you can hear crickets around the place. The moon was shining brightly too. Nothing fancy, when you two walked in. Theres a nice living room, filled with unique furniture and nice trinkets. “Could be better if the family who lived here put up some family pictures,” you said. 

Jaehyun was quiet, but smiling. 

The kitchen was perfect you thought, you remember daydreaming about having your own kitchen like this. Big stove, an oven for baking, a wooden dining table for your future family… its perfect. 

“This place is breathtaking—“ you said as you enter the masters bedroom room and was quickly grabbed by the waist.

“Wait until the morning,” he smiled before kissing you lovingly. 

It was the first time ever again that you two shared a bed. You have no idea what’s keeping Jaehyun away from you but nonetheless, you understand. And since this is the first time you two shared the bed, you noticed that he wasn’t planning on sleeping. It’s either you feel him keep you closer to his body, you hear him text or call someone, and the next thing you know the sun is shining already and he’s making you breakfast. 

“Did you even sleep?” You asked him while he was busy cooking eggs. You hugged him from behind and greeted him ‘good morning’ 

“For an hour, yeah. I needed to take some calls so I couldn’t join you in your sleep. Dreamt about me?” He flirted and kissed you good morning. 

“Yeah. Dreamt about you sleeping beside me… only to find out you didn’t even rest properly” you chuckled and bravely asked, “what’s wrong? If work is so heavy that you couldn’t let go of your phone then why are we here?” 

“I thought you promised that you will never question the way I protect you?” He was smiling but little did he know… you’re already pissed. You couldn’t argue with him anymore because he was on his phone again answering yet another important call. 

For days Jaehyun couldn’t answer your question. He’s not helping you understand him… even though you’re more than willing to. 

It hurts to turn your back on him whenever he reaches out for you. It hurts that you avoid him in this beautiful place that was meant to be enjoyed together. At this point… you just want to go home and leave this beautiful place. 

So you told him. 

“I don’t want to fight. I’m too weak for that. I am forever grateful that you want to protect me but, this is suffocating Jae. You’re not even communicating—“ 

And then Jaehyun get on his knees and took your words away. 

He’s proposing… out of nowhere. 

“I’m sorry. I’m not perfect but I’m really trying to do things my own way. Can you be my wife? And you know… make a man out of me?” He chuckled and waited for your answer. Of course you said yes. You can feel his heartbeat, beating so fast while you hug him tight. 

“I’m working double time and looking for a suitable replacement for my place at the table so we could never leave this place anymore. That’s why” he added and put the ring on your finger. “Wow. You finally said ‘yes’” he teased you and kissed you before apologizing once again. 

Gone are the days that the house was dead silent. Now its full of laughter and sweet whispers, only between you and Jaehyun. 

He changed his ways immediately, making sure you understood what he was trying to do. Soon Jaehyun realized how much help you could been if only he told you a little bit sooner. 

As days go by you two enjoy the place together, you try so hard to make breakfast warmer and sweeter each day, spend the days like a normal couple would do, stroll around the small town and enjoy its uniqueness, swim in rivers and kiss during sunset, appreciate the quiet evening where you can only hear crickets singing while you two sat at the front porch. 

“Good morning,” he hugged you from behind in this cold morning. You were happy he’s back to his normal self and gave him kisses that are long overdue. Innocent kisses that are sweet but wet, you can tell by the way his tongue moves that he missed you too. The way his kisses are soft but you know he’s up to something even more. 

His hands were swift to remove your sleepwear until you’re naked beneath him as the morning sun hits you perfectly. You watch him remove his sweatpants and underwear and he was excited to go back to your lips again. He missed being on top of you, being able to see the woman that he loves like this again. 

“I’m sorry if being like a horny teenager this morning. I really missed you” he apologized and kissed you again, hands reaching both of your legs and spreading them wide while you check your slit with your right hand if you’re wet already and you’re ready for that cock of his. 

“Don’t apologize, you’re not a stranger” you whispered sweetly while you pump his cock and kiss his lips. He didn’t wait for another second to push in. He couldn’t wait anymore. 

He missed your warm walls. He missed your lips. He missed hearing your moans beside his ears he missed your touch. Your hands are around his neck. Never leaving his skin and continuously pulling him back closer to you whenever he tries to pull away for a different sex position. He let out a soft laugh, kissing the shell of your ear and making you weak. The way he fucks you this morning is soft, as if he’s really telling you he missed you. 

The way his cock goes in and out of your hole, slowly but deep. It was addicting. Then he flips you around, putting you on your stomach but never leaving your lips. He pushed in again while your legs are still closed, making your hole tighter to Jaehyun’s liking. This is how he wanted it. Tight and slow, but giving you hard thrust while hitting the right spot. “Fuck,” you said and catch your breath. You felt your high come down already but Jaehyun is still building his. What the fuck you thought with a smile. You feel his lips travel around your back, his strong arms wrapped around your body, touching, pinching and even smacking your skin oh so lightly it tickles you. 

“Marry me”

He suddenly said. 

“Marry me,” he repeated it while thrusting deep inside you. You tried looking back at him to see his eyes but he was quick to catch your lips and fuck you faster. He was near. 

He flips you again so he could see your eyes and beautiful face, still waiting for the sweet answer. Hopefully. He was working hard for it, as you can see.

Rubbing his hand on your hard nipples as he fucks you slow and deep. His lips never leave your lips, telling you how much he loves you. He reached for your hand and intertwined it with yours, “Marry me,” he asked again, this time looking at your eyes and left a kiss your lips which made you completely stunned… and all you did was nod your head with a smile as an answer. 

You saw how Jaehyun’s face lit up the moment you answered him. How he was genuinely happy. That you finally said ‘yes’.

He let go of your hand and put on your legs, spreading them wide while he pushes deeper. You watch Jaehyun moan on top of you, eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed. He was really hard and you feel it stretch you every time he push right back in. 

Faster he fucks you, making your boobs bounce and making you moan so loud. By the time he reaches his high his thrust were harder than before almost hurting you with the impact. But the hurt was so good it’s addicting. 

He rested his head beside your ear, putting all of his weight on top of you. Oh you love it when he do this… 

“I love you. Thank you for saying ‘yes’ I will make you the happiest girl in the world-“ 

“You already did Jae,” 

He smiled and caged you with his strong arms. It was a good day. A good day to start a new life together. 

A good day to get married privately. 

“Don’t you think this is kinda rushed and impulsive?” You said as Jaehyun drags you to the nearby church and talk to the locals for your wedding. 

Well, he’s Jaehyun. If he wants to get married today, then a wedding is going to happen. 

“Don’t you want to get married soon?” He asked back. 

“I want to but—“ 

“Then today is perfect!” He smiled so big as he hands you your flowers and pick the nicest wedding rings for the two of you. You’ve never seen Jaehyun like this before… but what did you expect? He really wanted to marry you and today, nothings going to stop him from being happy. As you watch him wear his smile that you gave, you can’t help but think about how you couldn’t just kill his joy now. 

The wedding was special. Nothing fancy. Just a the two of you, a witness and your promises to each other. 

“We’ll have a proper wedding if you want. We can invite the others and it will be a big celebration” he says excitedly while kissing you softly, motioning you towards your shared room, not even bothering to open the lights even though the sun came down already. 

Jaehyun was gentle and it was clear what he wanted to do on your wedding night. He was doing everything he can, kissing every part of you, touching you on the right places and telling you the perfect words that make your heart skip a beat.

Nothing can make this day even more perfect. 

“Given that its our wedding night, and you’re basically my wife now…” Jaehyun started with a shy smile. You just laughed at him for struggling to tell you what he really wanted. “Can we talk about having kids?” he finally said it. 

You laughed at what he said and looked him in the eye, you trace his features. His handsome features that made you like him, but when his lips caught your hand and showered it with kisses. You remembered how his handsomeness was just a plus, a bonus, and that his attitude is what made you fall in love with him. 

“Of course we can. Half of me, half of you” you said with a smile. 

“I want daughters” Jaehyun excitedly said, “I will spoil them—“

“Just how you spoil your niece huh? got it” you teased him. 

“But seriously. We’ll play every night, I’ll be their knight in shining armor, I’ll protect them and I’ll make this world a better place for them” 

“Hmm. exactly how?”

“I have a few plans in my mind… you wont like it,” he said with a sweet voice and started kissing your neck. He was putting you in the mood again by kissing your boobs and sucking on your nipples. Of course you like the feeling and you immediately forgot what he was saying. All you did was agree in your weakest state while moaning his name. You told him you cant go again because you were still sensitive but of course Jaehyun has his own ways. 

The days you spend together in this house is even more beautiful, it was not long after Jaehyun told you that he bought this place already and that this is where you will build a family with him. He made it official when he put a framed picture of you and him at the top of the fireplace. It was a good start. Just the way you like it. 

“Hows everything back home?” You asked while he’s typing aggressively on his phone, he doesn’t look pleased. You stood up and try to take a look at his phone but he was quick to turn the screen off and give his attention to you. 

“It’s just work, Im having a hard time but there’s nothing I cant handle” he smiled and reached out for a kiss. “Let’s make dinner?” 

Over dinner you couldn’t help but ask him over and over again about the situation back home. Not to mention… you wanted to tell him that you’re happy and that you’re over the moon but you just cant help but think that everything felt so misplaced right now. You also feel like he’s hiding something from you. 

“I’m afraid I have to leave you here for a few days, I’ll come back as soon as I can. I have to take care of something” Jaehyun explains while he plays with your hand and look at your ring. 

“I’ll come with you. We don’t need to rush living like this… I too have loose ends to take care of. Let me go with you” 

Of course you see right through him. He was hiding something. 

By the time the two of you got back at the headquarters, everything went crashing down and took away your peace. You instantly wished that you hadn't left that place. Nonetheless… everything was meant to happen eventually in the first place. 

Jaehyun’s father had a heart attack and it completely changed everyone's lives. In a bad way. 

“Yoonoh I need you to come with me” Chanyeol said to Jaehyun, signaling him to get in the car. Jaehyun on the other hand, can’t and won’t let go of you because he knew damn well that he needs you and you’re his wife now… you should stay close to him. 

“This is strictly families only Jae, don’t make this harder than it already is” Chanyeol said as he stops you from getting inside the car with Jaehyun. 

This is not the perfect time to announce your marriage. And so as Jaehyun was about to say it, you stopped him and made him follow Chanyeol. “I’ll be here, just come home whenever you can” you said and let Chanyeol take him away from you. 

It all happened so quickly but days went by slowly. It was dark times for everyone even though the sun shines brightly everyday and lights up every color you see. Even though everyday seems to be a gift, but in this world you’re in its just another day for chaos and revenge.

“Jeong Yoonoh’s place as the new head of the family and the new boss cannot be moved or transferred to any candidate….” 

You listened to the lawyer as he recited every last will of Jaehyun’s father. 

This simply means that Jaehyun can’t leave this wretched world and live a quiet life with you.

Privately, Jaehyun made a call. 

A call to someone he thought he could trust with his plans in life. But it ended up giving him the biggest problem he ever faced. 

“The deal was kill him after you replace me. You just made everything complicated. The deal is off. You’re useless to me now. Prepare for your funeral. I will not stop until you’re with your friends” 

As soon as Jaehyun ended the call with Kun. He threw his burner phone and removed his necktie that seems to be so tight right now. He felt so caged at some point. He felt prisoned. 

Only to realize that he doesn’t need to feel this way anymore because… as ugly as it sounds… he’s the boss now and he can do everything. Kill anyone. And no one will stop him now. 

Of course he’s having these thoughts because he’s struggling to get to you. To be with you peacefully. His wife. 

He wanted to tell the world that you are a Jeong now, looking at his wedding ring he remembers the beautiful times you spent together peacefully. And how he’s more than willing to embrace all this power and authority he has just so he could make this world a better place for you. It’s all for you. 

In a matter of days, Jaehyun became the boss of bosses. The head of the Jeongs and fulfilling his birthright. You have no choice but to watch him from the sidelines and be quiet even though you’re already his wife. It was as if you were nobody even though deep inside you’re basically a Jeong too.

That thought… of being a Jeong. Officially … just gives you headaches and heartaches at the same time. It feels wrong.

Ceremonies, gatherings and a lot of business meetings. Jaehyun faced them all and made him grow even more as a leader. You’re proud of him of course, and you’re happy whenever you see him in the news for a quick interview, him cutting a ribbon or whenever you see his face at the morning papers. You’re proud of him. 

And even though all these achievements are all good for his career… everyday, you feel like it’s creating a barrier between you and Jaehyun and it’s becoming thicker each day. 

Ever since the funeral you stayed at the headquarters with the others. You’re back to being an assassin, guarding rich people and providing protection whenever they need it. It’s whatever. Jaehyun insisted that you stop, but you told him that this is the only thing you know how to do even with your eyes closed. 

Maybe everything feels wrong because you’re not yet ready to be a wife to Jaehyun. 

“Don’t blame yourself. I’m sure he misses you too” Yuta said softly and gave you a cup of tea. “He’s been receiving death threats again. I think it was three today,” you just scoffed at that information knowing that Jaehyun wouldn’t be actually threatened by that. 

“People don’t know how he could be such a monster sometimes. Personally I think they should stop” 

You and Yuta just laugh at what you said because its true. For a minute, you and Yuta reminisce how Jaehyun was a crazy assassin at some point. You two also remembered how he used to be a normal person even before all of this happened. He was your friend, but now he’s your boss. Even now that you’re his wife… he’s more of a boss than a husband. 

“We can trade places tomorrow. I’m assigned to guarding Jaehyun’s office. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you” Yuta offered.

“I haven’t seen him up close since we got back” you murmured and looked at your wedding ring. “I wanted to take care of him, I wanted to iron his clothes, prepare him breakfast… like you know…. like a normal wife. Instead… I will guard his office, check every food he’s about to eat for possible food poison, and just… be a wife in my dreams. It frustrates me. I’m not sure if I’m ready to see him… let alone be with him the whole day… as one of his bodyguards”

But even though after listening to your sentiments, Yuta still encouraged you to trade places with him. For him, its better to see him from a far than not seeing him, its better for you to be with him the whole day while guarding his office, than not given the opportunity to do so. “Most wives wanted to guard their husbands 24/7 you know that?” Yuta tried making you laugh, he was talking about the cheating husbands and the wives that became dramatic overtime. 

“You watch too much T.V these days” you said while laughing. 

“Was it beautiful? The wedding?” Yuta asked sweetly only because he wanted to cheer you up. 

“Beautiful. Peaceful. Jaehyun was really happy and I was just feeling things I shouldn’t. He proposed two times already, and I turned him down because I wasn’t sure how can I make him happy… but when I finally said ‘yes’… its the first time ever that I saw him so joyful, so full of life… it was that moment that I realized that I alone can make the man that I love happy, I just need to trust myself” 

“Well, I’m sure you two will find a way back to that place again. Just hold on tight” he cheers you up. 

The next day, you guarded Jaehyun’s office with a happy heart. You left a cup of coffee on his desk with a small note, ‘I’m outside’- wife. It was out of love, and you wanted to know that you’re more than desperate to be with him. 

But Jaehyun burned the note. You saw him do it. 

For someone who is clueless and does not know the truth, it looked like Jaehyun was just burning a piece of paper for fun. Followed by lighting up his cigarette before starting to read the pile of documents in front of him today. Jaehyun didn’t like the idea. After a board meeting, Jaehyun called you inside his office privately. You thought that finally… after all the waiting you did for the following weeks, you will finally get to see him up close. 

“What were you thinking? What will happen if my enemies found out that you’re my wife? My wife. Who’s guarding me so freely. Who works for me” 

It sounded as if you weren’t enough to be his wife… that’s why he hasn’t made the announcement yet.  

Jaehyun wasn’t careful with his words and he didn’t mean it. 

“All I’m saying was, I cant let my enemies see you like this” 

He realized that the more he opens his mouth… the more he offends you without actually meaning it. Jaehyun wanted to tell you that, he wanted to protect you and hide you from his enemies. But that wasn’t exactly what happened. He just offended you. 

He didn’t get the chance to explain himself further or say sorry because you left already. He couldn’t stop you. Afraid that he might make the situation worst.

Driven by concern and guilt, Jaehyun managed to come to the headquarters for you at the end of the day. At least try to talk to you. He wanted to apologize and come pick you up for dinner if you let him. He felt bad about what happened earlier. He was just scared. That’s all. 

Just like a thief, he entered your room uninvited. See you sleep soundly. He wanted to wake you up but he thought maybe you were tired too. So instead of waking you up he just left a kiss on your forehead and made sure you’re all warm. Watching you under the warm light of your lampshade, asking himself, ‘is it really okay to deny you as his wife at this point?’ ‘is this really the only way to keep you safe?’ 

“At least you’re safe” he murmured.  

Of course you felt his presence. And you didn’t care if you were tired or sleepy. You wanted to spend time with him. Even though he broke your heart earlier. You were quick to hug him and kiss him, and told him he’s already forgiven. 

The night carried on beautifully as planned. Even though you two are basically hiding from the world. You two had hot noodles under the moon and stars, you watch your husband eat in front of you and help him wipe his face because he ate too messy. “Sorry. I was hungry” He got shy when you reached for the tissue to wipe his face and help him remove his tie so he could eat comfortably. Deep inside Jaehyun was happy. But he was shy that his ears are so red. 

“Why are you shy? Its not everyday I could take care of you” you said as you put more food in his bowl and pour him another glass of wine. Of course he knew that you wanted to take care of him as your husband, he knew that someday, you wanted to help him and support his and the boss he’s meant to be… but Jaehyun didn’t expect that it would be so hard.

“I’m sorry. I really am. Its just that… I receive death threats everyday. I couldn’t let you get involved in this kind of life that I have now. I’m really sorry, I am. I know you're 100% capable of taking care of yourself and these threats are just nothing... but its different. If the news comes out that youre my wife, the world will not stop until you're dead” Jaehyun explains. His heart breaks a million times because this is not the life he promised you when he asked you to marry him. 

“I’m sorry we can’t go back to our home yet… I sure miss it already” Jaehyun says softly to you. You wanted to tell him that you already forgot about it, that it was just a short dream for you and that the wedding ring that you two shared is the only proof that it actually happened… but you didn’t want to hurt him or start an argument. You’re just happy he’s here with you. 

And speaking of rings… Jaehyun caught you spacing out while looking at his ring. You were actually surprised he’s wearing it. “What if someone dares to ask about your ring?” you asked as if you were suggesting that he takes it off if he really wanted to hide that he’s a married man now.

“This is sacred,” he says sternly and reached out for your hand. “for better or for worse” he reminded you. “Just give me more time…I’ll come to you. As always” he promised.

After eating, he cuddled with you and waited for you to sleep but he was tired too that he slept first the moment he was comfortable in your bed and you couldn’t wake him up or disturb him. He misses your presence, your warmth and your touch. 

The next day Jaehyun met Chanyeol and talked about his enemies and possible enemies in the future. He spent weeks doing background checks, meetings, bribing, and torturing a few people just so he could find who sent the threats. But every time he kills a problem, another problem just pops out of nowhere. It felt endless Jaehyun thought. 

“‘I don’t want to be like my father’ isn’t that your life motto?” Chanyeol asked Jaehyun shamelessly. “I remember when I was just starting to work for the Jeongs… your father loved his family so much, that’s why he had the idea of having his own assassins”  

“Are you suggesting that I use the squad just so I could go and finally come home to Y/n?” 

“No. but the fact that the idea came from you scared me. I’m saying… that you should go on a different path Jeong Yoonoh” 

The next day, Chanyeol officially resigned. Of course Jaehyun couldn’t be selfish this time. His work will be doubled without Chanyeol… but his hyung has his own life too. 

“I have a daughter. She’s 3 years old already and tomorrow I’ll see her for the third time. That’s how much this job has taken from me Jaehyun. That’s the last thing I’ll teach you. You have a wife now. Don’t waste your time” Chanyeol said before saying his final goodbye to his student. 

After hearing what Chanyeol said, Jaehyun tried to be with you as much as he could. But he couldn’t.

He promised to be with you and you wait for him to arrive. But he never did. 

He talks to you but only through phone calls. 

By this time your patience is almost gone. But you can’t do anything about it. You’re married. 

Although, Jaehyun managed to give you your own place as a way of saying ‘sorry’. This way it was easier for him to visit you, but in some way, it became lonelier because you were always alone. Lonelier than ever. Even though, some days and nights were beautiful because you could spend it with him, still… its been lonely for you. 

“Jaehyun has been tiring everyone. Are you sure he’s still sane?” Taeyong complains while you and Yuta watch him do pull-ups. 

“Even you. His own wife. He treats you like shit. No offense Y/n. But… now that he’s the boss now, I think he should grant you your freedom already” Taeyong added. “Instead… he’s sending you to assassinate someone whenever he feels like it” 

“It’s my job” you try to defend yourself. 

“How about his job as your husband?” 

You we’re speechless. 

Changes happened so fast ever since Chanyeol left. The new apartment, new assassins, new people to kill, new bosses, new people to kill, new people to protect. Taeyong was right. Is Jaehyun still thinking straight? 

On the same day, Jaehyun came home and you found him sleeping on the bed with his shoes still on and a cup of untouched coffee on the bedside table. You figured he must have tried battling against sleepiness but couldn’t win because of tiredness. He must be really tired like everyone else, you thought. Even though Jaehyun’s choices in life right now make everyone's lives miserable, you’re sure that Jaehyun must be suffering and struggling alone too. 

“Hey…” he greeted you with a tired voice when he felt your presence, “what time did you arrive? I’m sorry. I tried coming home as fast as I could. I was in Bangkok for days— I missed you” he got up even though its obvious that all he wanted to do is rest. People don’t see this side of Jaehyun. And you’re the only one who could see him weak like this. It pains you. 

“I missed you too?” you said sweetly, he initiated the kiss, you kissed him back, showing him that you still long for him, you still want him every second of the day. But for someone who’s tired to the bone, he sure does have the energy to turn you on and imply that he wanted to have sex tonight. “If you’re tired, we could just lay down and talk until the sun rises” he suggests, he’s aware that he’s been tiring everyone lately too, including you. The suggestion stands, but Jaehyun couldn't stop himself from devouring your neck and kissing you just how you want it.

“Don’t stop my love” you made sure he heard you right. You returned his hungry kisses and quickly unbuttoned his dress shirt. You remember the last time you had sex, it was your wedding night, and the thought of it just makes you want to melt into Jaehyun’s body, grinding on his hardening cock and using each other for your own pleasure. You hold on to him, scratching his back and leaving a few bruises on his skin because you were so so so desperate to keep him close to you. 

“I’m sorry. I’m here now” he managed to whisper. In one swift he put you in all fours, kneading your boobs from behind and pinching your nipples while he enjoys touching your body and making you feel good with his hands alone. Pulling you against his chest, you feel his lips on the shells of your ear, hearing every breath he takes. It sounded sexy, and the sound alone just makes you wet. “Can I be rough tonight?” Jaehyun asks while kissing your body back, hand beside your waist, keeping you still for all the kisses that he’s about to give your body. All you can do is nod and kiss him back with the same hunger. 

From behind, he licked your leaking cunt, you were so wet at the moment only because it has been so long ever since he touched you. Jaehyun can see and feel how you shiver at every touch, every lick he does to you. And he likes what he’s seeing. He decided to be more playful and run a finger slowly to your cunt. Your hole is ready to be fucked but Jaehyun wanted to make you wet even more. Without a warning, he licked your slit followed by his fingers, making small circle on your sensitive bud which makes your knees weak, making you land on the mattress and let out beautiful moan. Jaehyun was quick to pull your waist back up and kiss your back, the tip of his cock sliding up and down on your cunt, which makes you grip the sheets and hold on to whatever you can. You reach behind for his hand, asking him to hold hands with you which he complies before pushing in. You feel his lips on your lips as he slowly thrust in and out but not for long. It was just his way of saying, ‘im going to be rough, if it hurts make me stop’. 

You feel his hand on your waist while he thrust so hard and you hear slapping. Your face is perfectly buried on the mattress as you take every pleasure your husband gives you. You hear him moan and his moans were perfect. It was obvious that you make him feel good and that alone just makes you want more. 

His lips and his thrust were on different rhythms. His thrusts were nothing but hard, to the extent that you let out a small scream here and there, feeling his skin burn yours. Oh youre sure you’ll have bruises when you wake up tomorrow, you’re not even sure if you could walk properly. While his lips bring you comfort, warm like his being. You’re sure that his kisses left marks on your back too. You just smile at every thought running through your head. And Jaehyun caught you. 

“So you seemed to be enjoying. I’m glad” He suddenly stopped thrusting and proceeded to kiss your lips, flipping you once again facing him this time. He caresses your legs for a few seconds, touching your body while he whispers dirty things beside your ear that of course… makes you wet and want for more. When his fingers slide on your wet slit, Jaehyun was amazed at how he made you wet this time. “Can I slap your cunt?” he asks, you nod. 

He slapped your cunt in a way you loved every sting of it. Making your legs closed but your husband was quick to compensate for every sting from a hard slap with a soft touch, a soft kiss, a finger inside or a spit followed by his tongue. And when he was satisfied, he thrusted his hard cock once again and fuck you slowly this time. Looking you in the eye and melting you, making you shy. He just smiles back at you while continuing to make you crazy. When he finally reaches his high, he removes his cock from your hole and came on on top of you. Watching his thick cum paint your pussy and stomach. It was messy but no one cared. 

“I wasn’t sure if you were safe…” he was talking about your pill. “That made me realize, what kind of husband am I… I dont even know if I could cum inside my wife” he reaches for the tissue from the bedside table and wiped every cum on your skin. Kissing lower stomach all the way up until he reaches your lips and stays on top of you. Putting both of your arms on top of your head, and making you swing your arms around his neck. He wanted you to keep him close. 

“Thank you for pulling out,” is all you managed to say. 

“Can you still go for another round? Or a couple more?” He asks while kissing your neck. 

“Yeah just give me a few minutes,” you paused and took this time to express what your’e feeling, “I missed you” 

“I miss you too. You’ve been nothing but patient with me and Im grateful” he kissed your hand which had your wedding ring on it. “everything will be worth it I promise” You rolled your eyes playfully. 

“Kiss me” You commanded he complies. In a matter of seconds he’s inside you again. You clenched around him kept him close to your body held him tight and kissed him deeply. “Come home more often” you managed to moan, and all he could do is nod and return the favor of what youre doing by rolling his hips slowly and thrusting deeper. Kissing you more and keeping you on your toes.

On the next day, it was a cold morning. The room was painted with blue, and the sun was just about to rise. Jaehyun had the privilege of waking you up early in the morning even though he completely worn you out last night. He just wanted to make sure he doesnt waste his time. “Good morning” he says, kissing you softly, waking you up in the most softest way. When you finally opened your eyes, your heart skipped a beat when you saw Jaehyun’s face. His dimples flashing and a handsome smile. 

“Did you sleep well?” He asked, you nod and pulled him in for a hug, making sure youre not dreaming. “I’m thankful for you” he says, making you smile and putting butterflies in your stomach, first thing in the morning.

As you two head on with your day, this is the first time you help him prepare for work as his wife. You picked his clothes, you watch him get dressed, you fix his tie, its perfect. On the other hand, Jaehyun too was happy because he could spend this morning with you, he hugged you from behind while you were drying your hair. And told you that he will try to come home everyday from now on followed by aplogies. Sincere apologies that were whispered beside your ear which sent shivers down your spine. 

“Just give me more time. I love you” 

You were not like other couples, like normal couples and you think its time to face that as a married couple.

Of course the sex suddenly fixed everything. 

He comes home regularly. 

Spend mornings sweetly. 

Spend longer nights together that include moaning his name while his tongue is making you feel good. 

The sex became rougher and its okay because you both love it. 

But of course it didn’t last for long. 

Days become stressful for Jaehyun because of Kun. He’s now working hand in hand with Johnny, planning to overthrow Jaehyun with being the king of the city, for being the powerful man that he is now. But Jaehyun is smarter than all of them.

As an assassin he is used to research. Researching and studying everything about who he needs to kill, and how.

What is their most prized possession?

Who is the most important person in their life?

If Jaehyun were to ask these questions, you are the answer.

Sometimes, he thanks his father for making him an assassin first rather than the heir of this huge company. He'd grow us useless and stupid if it weren't for Chanyeol and the 127 squad. Maybe that’s the reason why his father made him an assassin in the first place. To gain important experience.

Jaehyun played by the book but played dirty too. He made sure his enemies will remember him. For Johnny, Jaehyun made sure that his daughter is safe… but the catch is, Johnny has no clue where Jaehyun kept her hidden. Yes. He kidnapped her. Which made Johnny beg on his knees one afternoon at Jaehyun’s office. Everyone witnessed it, but they have no clue why.

“Kun. Tell me where he keeps his airplanes” Jaehyun demanded as Johnny begged on his knees.

Soon Johnny told Jaehyun where Kun kept his airplanes. It is where he keeps his money and his gold. Knowing Kun, he’s obsessed with his airplanes, and his riches.

And Jaehyun burned them all down with his own lighter.

You have no idea what Jaehyun has done for the past week, you can only see that he’s exhausted but he’s happy.

While you were sleeping, you felt Jaehyun’s hand creep under your sleepwear, caressing your exposed stomach and trying to wake you up with his kisses. He smelled like alcohol, you bet he’s been drinking with his trusted new business partners. Drunken men who cheat with their wives overseas, rich people who make everything and anything happen.

You don’t ask for too much. All you want to do is for him to come home to you and spend time with you as much as he can. Sober.

“I know what you’re thinking.. you probably smelled it already, but I’m not drunk. Was… but not anymore— can we go for a few rounds?” he asked shamelessly. Obviously he’s horny. But you didn’t like how he was asking you to have sex with him, after not coming home for a week. You felt like… you’re someone whom he just uses for adult stress release.

But maybe he was tired and that he really missed you and you’re just quick with your ugly judgment. You dont know anymore.

“Where do you sleep whenever you don’t come home?” It was just a question, a question out of concern, a conversation starter, but Jaehyun unfortunately got offended.

“I am many things. But I will never cheat on you” he said. Sternly. He got up from his comfort next to you and proceeded to remove his tie. You checked the time and it’s almost time to start your day. But for Jaehyun, he was just about to end his.

“I didn’t mean it that way Jae—“

“Then enlighten me” he asks coldly.

You watch him remove his watch, roll his sleeves and face you, while he waits for your answer.

“I feel like… you just come home to me for sex… but I wanted to understand you more. So I avoided the subject, that’s why asked you instead ‘where do you sleep—“

“In a hotel. Alone. Are you happy now?” he answered, crossing his shoulders in front of you as if he was still waiting for you to talk, “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. But I guess I’m just one horny motherfucker”

He let’s out a heavy sigh, realizing that his words aren’t right and you don’t deserve to be treated this way. His pride stops him from telling you he’s sorry, even though he wanted to. But Jaehyun turned his back on you and proceeds to take a shower. Preparing for yet another busy day in the office.

What have you done? You told to yourself.

Before Jaehyun leaves you tried to invite him for coffee. But he just kissed you goodbye, answered an urgent call and left immediately.

Jaehyun did not come home for days, he didn’t even said goodbye to you when he left for Macao. At this point, you’re not sure how else or what kind of apology you should do, all you could do is wait for his return.

Without Chanyeol, Jaehyun doesn’t have someone whom he trusts the most when it comes to his armies. Armies meaning… Jaehyun’s assassin. Everyone thought that Jaehyun would pick Taeyong because he is his best friend, but no. Jaehyun hired someone new. Someone who is trustworthy, who isn’t biased, and who will follow and protect Jaehyun with his life. He is Jaehyun’s cousin, Doyoung.

Knowing that he isn’t biased, Doyoung gave the 127 squad equal field assignments while Jaehyun was away. The mission was fine, it wasn’t bloody at all, and it wasn't hard for you, Taeyong and Yuta… but when Doyoung said that Mark is not capable enough to protect Jaehyun and that he needed to finish a field assignment on his own to prove it, everyone protested.

"Mark has been protecting Jaehyun ever since he learned how to hack shit!" you shouted. "Mark can protect everyone through his screens-- are you dumb?"

But even though everyone voiced out their frustrations, Doyoung is still unstoppable.

“I’ve been calling Jaehyun but he isn’t answering” you tried to comfort Mark. He’s been shaking ever since the announcement.

“We will shadow you and assist you secretly,” Taeyong says as he tries to lessen Mark’s nervousness.

“I swear if Mark dies, I’m killing Jaehyun” Yuta jokes, but he was frustrated as well.

“Everyone calm down I’m sure Jaehyun is not aware… no calls have been reaching him” you told everyone but deep inside you wern't sure.

The plan to shadow Mark secretly and assist him went in shambles when Doyoung announced that you, Yuta and Taeyong are supposed to pick up Jaehyun privately from Macao and bring him home safe.

Yes you want to see Jaehyun. Of course you wanted to protect your husband… but Mark needs you and it breaks your heart that you’re so powerless.

When you and the others picked up Jaehyun successfully, no one was talking in the helicopter but everyone is nervous. There was a time that Mark was still reacheable and that he sends signals that he's okay but not for long. And when you guys are back to the headquarters, Mark still hasn't come back.

Until Doyoung officially announced that he failed.

“He got shot and his body went straight to the icy river…” he informed everyone with heavy heart, regret and kept apologizing.

Yuta was quick to start a fight and punched Doyoung too many times, he just let him. Thinking he deserved it. You hear Taeyong punch the wall out of anger, crying and just plainly out of words.

You on the other hand, went out of the room and cried in one space, pulling yourself together, closing your eyes and hoping that this is all a dream. Everyone saw it coming. But everyone did not do anything to save him from the situation. There’s a part of you that blames Jaehyun, but of course, you avoid that thought.

For years of being together, Mark was the source of happiness of the squad. His never ending jokes, his loud voice, his loud laughs over your earpiece. You remember it all and it will never be the same again. He’s the best hacker that you know, and you’re just sad to the core that not everyone appreciates that.

It was dark times, but everything went black out when the days continued and Mark was not with you anymore.

You and Jaehyun constantly fight everyday, arguing, shouting and hurting each other through words you never told to each other before. Of course Jaehyun blames himself for Mark’s death too. It was heavy for him too. You don’t see it, but Jaehyun was looking for comfort too, someone that will tell him completely that its not his fault. But nobody showed up for him.

He did’t showed up during Mark’s funeral. And you got mad at him.

“How many times do I have to tell you? I didn’t know!” Jaehyun shouted for the nth time.

It was loud and clear of course, but he didn’t even let everyone who cared mourned for Mark and made everyone work again like nothing happened.

“It’s just how everything goes around here Y/n!!! We live in a deadly world!!!”

“A deadly world that you and your father built Jeong Yoonoh. If you don’t care about the goodness in this world anymore, I don’t want to be a part of it” you said crying.

Your words pierced through Jaehyun’s heart especially you called him ‘Yoonoh’, he was scared to the core that you might leave him this time, and this fight cannot be fixed anymore. Not to mention your freedom is getting near. You have every right and power to leave.

“So where are you going to build a life now?” You were talking to Yuta and Taeyong about their plans when they get away from this prison. It makes you happy, knowing that they can be free and live the life they want.

“Japan. To my family, I’m taking Taeyong with me. He plans on establishing a bakery there” Yuta answered. “How about you?”

You scoffed, “what about me? Did you guys forget that I’m a Jeong now? I cant leave him”

“We all know you love him. But he’s drowning of power now and — I cant even recognize him anymore” Yuta says.

“He’s not the Jaehyun that we grew up with, he’s not the Jaehyun that you loved anymore. Faced that truth” Taeyong said sternly. “You’ve earned your freedom. Think about it. Think long and hard”

When the day finally arrived that Taeyong and Yuta are free from the Jeongs it was a bittersweet goodbye. You’re happy for them, but you were sad for yourself. You remember the first day that you guys met and the first mission, everything was all worth it you thought.

“Don’t act like you’re still not free Y/n. You too, you’re free now. Don’t stay here” Taeyong explains for the last time.

Looking back a few years from now, you and Jaehyun were both excited for your own freedom and were of course, looking forward to finally leaveing everything behind. You remember how fiercely you loved each other during those times, and you remember how Jaehyun literally looked like a ball of sunshine. Who lights up your day and make everything better in a matter of seconds.

Now… everything about Jaehyun is dark. His aura, his eyes, the way he talks… everything. He really looked like a Jeong now. High, mighty and scary.

“So did they left?” Jaehyun asks. He was drinking alone at the kitchen counter, he looked wasted. You noticed he has a new tattoo on his hand, you didn’t bother asking the story behind it. You just nod at his question and avoid him for the rest of the night.

Ever since Mark’s death, you and Jaehyun stopped sleeping on the same bed, and stopped talking to each other dearly, but you sure do want to stay. But on times like this, especially when you’re lonely, you don’t know why you keep on staying with him. In this place. Truth be told you would rather sleep on the headquarters than this cold and dark place. It’s not that you hated seeing him, his presence still make your heart skip a beat, happy because he’s alive and well. And well… physically you could be together. You’re thankful regardless.

Jaehyun hears your cry every night, it breaks his heart too. Knowing that he’s not enough to make you happy anymore even though he’s doing everything he can to make this life bearable for you. But no matter how hard he tries… he’s not enough.

This is his worst nightmare. Watching your marriage fall apart because he can’t give you the life he promised.

Even though you wanted to break free, you stayed and work for Jaehyun. You kill for him, train new assassins for him, but you were never given the chance to become a proper wife anymore.

It was a quiet afternoon when you just got back from a mission that Doyoung rushed you to finish. You don’t know why he was in a hurry but you were so pissed that you showed up in his office with blood in your hands and face.

“What the fuck do you want?” You shouted. You assumed that it was Doyoung who’s sitting behind that chair but no… it was Jaehyun. And Doyoung was the one sitting beside the table.

You never thought that this day would come.

The day when you received a mission from Jaehyun. Not from Doyoung. From Jaehyun directly.

It hurt you so much seeing him all worked up and stressed, he can’t even look you in the eye as he explains what needs to be done. But after he’s done explaining the mission, he put out his handkerchief and wipes the blood off your face. “Can you give us the room?” Jaehyun politely asked to Doyoung which he followed of course.

“I know this is hard for you, because it’s hard for me too” he let out a heavy sigh before continuing… you thought that this time he’s going to say he misses you or say something that will brighten up the mood. But he didn’t.

“I need you to not fail this mission” he added.

And that made you mad. You wanted to shout at him, you wanted to punch him but you knew that staying silent and avoiding him at all costs will hurt him even more.

It was quiet. Jaehyun was waiting for you to break the silence.

“Can I have the name?” You asked without looking at him.

“It’s Kun” he says, and after collecting all the paper work that you needed from the desk you bravely left your wedding ring.

You didn’t dare asked how the fuck is Kun still alive. You have so many questions but you didn’t dare asked him because that small room is suffocating you. Not to mention your little skit about the ring. He didn’t even bother coming after you when you left the room. That’s just means you mean nothing to him.

By the time you started the mission, you thought that he will be hard to find but no. He contacted you directly and gave you an invitation for dinner in the skies. Of course you accepted it, even though you had direct orders from Jaehyun that you are not allowed to have a conversation with him.

“Do you love flying this much?” You asked him. He just smiled.

“This way, there’s no other assassins that could kill me, no people listening, just pure privacy. Just you and me”

You watch him pour another glass of champagne and watch him take a sip, you noticed he was shaking.

“I don’t have anything up in my sleeves too because I’m only here to tell you the truth” there was a slight pause, you wait for him to have the courage but truth be told, you’re not ready to hear what he’s about to say.

“While you were on coma, back then, Jaehyun found me after killing my double. I was afraid to die in his hands especially when I wasn’t the one who poisoned you — it wasn’t me, I promise. It was Jaehyun’s father. And I know that because… well we Phantoms are always 5 times ahead” he joke, you agreed.

“But when I told Jaehyun that truth… he made a deal with me. I kill his father and the Jeongs will not come after me anymore, and I become the boss. I fucked up. I admit. Got excited and killed his father first. Not knowing that Mr. Jeong is as smart as Jaehyun. His final will and testament just made Jaehyun untouchable and impossible to replace. Time passed and the man you love changed and now drowning in power—“

“You don’t need to tell my life’s story. I’m well aware—“ you tried to cut him off but he continued.

“ And here you are. He even sent his wife to clean up his mess. Are you sure you’re married to the right person?”

Kun noticed you don’t have your wedding ring. He thought maybe you left him “Good choice” he added without even asking you.

After knowing the truth while watching the sun go down high above the skies, Kun helped you stage his death and you agreed to let him go because he proved to you that he’s innocent.

When you get back, Jaehyun was happy that you didn’t fuck up… for a short time…but soon found out that Kun’s death was just staged. And so Jaehyun killed him with his own hands. He turned a blind eye about you being a traitor because he knew that you’re already fed up of what’s happening to your lives now.

But on top of it all, he already knew that one of these days, you will decide to leave him.

You on the other hand has succumbed into the darkness of your room and stayed there for days without talking to anyone, and without eating anything. All you want to do is get away from this place and live your life alone. Even if the thought of leaving Jaehyun hurts you so much already.

One night, Jaehyun tried to make everything right by bravely visiting you into your room, he promised to himself that he will do everything tonight just to make everything right. If he gets lucky he will hand you your wedding ring again.

He didn’t knock and just welcomed himself into your room. He found you staring at your window while you’re comfortably laying in your bed. He didn’t want to disturb your peace but he has to do this and try to win you back.

“I’m sorry” he whispers sweetly, and lay on the bed with you. He wrapped his arms around you but it felt like he’s suffocating you instead of comforting you. Suddenly Jaehyun doesn’t feel like home anymore.

“What kind of person kills his own father?” You started.

Shocked that you already know the truth, Jaehyun couldn’t handle what’s happening in front of him now.

“I did it so we could live peacefully—“

“Look at us now Jaehyun. You did this to us. You’re drowning of power—“

“That’s not true” Jaehyun defends.

“Then what is. I don’t even know you anymore, I’m hurt Jaehyun. I’m hurt that we’re fighting right now, I’m hurt that were not together anymore but I felt safe when I turned my back on you. I don’t want to be a Jeong”

“So this it? You’re really leaving me?”

“I believe that I’m not the right person for you”

There was silence. Suffocating silence for both you and Jaehyun. You continue to cry and forget that he’s in the room with you, while Jaehyun just sat there on the edge of your bed. The whole conversation did not include any screaming, maybe you two got tired of screaming already.

Jaehyun has a lot to say. But this is the furthest he can go with you.

This is the end.

Thank you so much for reading this work of mine! If you love what you read, please leave something in my inbox and tell me how you feel! CLICK THIS LINK. I hope we can practice, give and take.

Stay tuned for the next part! -B.

[bloatedandalone04]

In The Way I Need You | Part 5

Series Masterlist

➪in which you spend the night with the beresfords, and once joey is asleep, you discover that your crush on clay may not be entirely one-sided.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 7.5k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

“Hi! I’m so sorry I’m late, the traffic was so bad today, the taxi driver gave me dirty looks the whole ride here,” you say as you quickly enter Clay’s house. You had an overnight bag thrown over your shoulder and he didn’t know why the sight made him so happy, but he was smiling when you added, “I got this for Joey. I saw he didn’t have it in his growing collection.”

You lift your hand and reveal the book Oh, the Places You’ll Go! by Doctor Seuss. Clay’s smile grew at that as he took it from you. “You didn’t need to get him anything,” he said, still grateful for it nonetheless.

“I know,” you say with a shy smile as you shrug off your jacket. “I wanted to.”

Clay takes your jacket from you as he says, “Thank you. He’ll love it,” he hangs it up on a hook before guiding you upstairs. “Actually, he’ll probably want you to read it to him instead of me.”

You shake your head as you ascend the stairs. “I don’t think that’s true. You’re his best friend, after all,”

“I think you’re underestimating how attached that kid has grown to you,” Clay laughs as you both enter the living room. “I tried reading to him earlier and he said I don’t read as good as his babysitter does.” 

You gasp and laugh, too. “He did not,” 

“He did,” was all he was able to say before Joey finally caught sight of you.

“Y/n!” He said, excitement lacing his voice as he slid off the couch and ran over to you. He mispronounces your name again, but you adored the way he said it so you don’t bother correcting him. “Hi!”

You grin at him and drop your bag in order to pick him up. “Hi, buddy,”

Joey looks between you and his dad and he knew he was probably wondering why you were here when it wasn’t a school day. “Remember I told you Y/n was going to stay with us while grandma is away?” Joey nods and he continues. “She’ll be here all night and is going to get you ready for school tomorrow.”

His eyes light up as he hugs you. “All night?” He asked, his excitement to have you here for multiple days at a time radiating from his little body. 

“All night,” you confirm, looking over at Clay as Joey hugs you again. 

-

“I went out this morning and got you your diet coke,” Clay announced as he leaned back in his chair at the dining room table. He was wearing more casual clothing, casual being a white tee and khakis, and to see him not wear a suit or tie for the first time since meeting him had you feeling a bit lightheaded. “The shelves on the fridge door are all yours.”

You smile at him as you finish your pasta. “Thank you,” you say as you also lean back. “You didn’t have to do that, though. I’d be happy to just bring something with me whenever I’m here.”

Clay shook his head as he looked over at Joey, who was sitting beside him. “You take care of this guy while I’m at work, and I know how hard that can be. It’s the least I can do,” he joked and the messy smile his son gave him had your own growing. 

“All done,” he says as he pushes away his plate. “Can I go play now?” 

Clay nods and helps him down from the chair, watching as he runs around the table and out of the room. He shakes his head as you laugh quietly and stand up, collecting the dishes as you do so. “Oh, you don’t have to clean up, you’re a guest,” he tried to take them from you but you dodge his hand with a playful grin. 

“I don’t mind,” you say as you carry them into the kitchen. “You bought me my diet coke, after all. It’s the least I can do.”

Clay laughed as he followed you. “As fun as it is, you got to stop thinking you owe me something after I do the bare minimum for you,” 

You set the plates and forks down into the sink and turn to him. “I could say the same thing to you,” you tease with a raised brow and he turns away after realizing you made a good point. “That’s what I thought.”

You face the sink again and turn the water on, feeling him still looming behind you. 

Glancing back at him, you offer, “How about I wash and you dry? It’ll get done quicker that way,”

“Sure,” he says as he walks over to you. “But on one condition.”

You look up at him as he stands right next to you. He was so close you could smell his cologne and the scent made you feel the smallest bit dizzy. “What is it?” You ask after a few seconds, finally able to find your voice again after zoning out a bit. 

He leans in and takes a plate from you. You hadn’t been this close to him since the night you thought you were being given the chance to kiss him, but then got the message quickly when he pulled away before anything happened. He wasn’t pulling away now, though, and you felt lightheaded again. “You watch a kids movie with Joey and I,” he requested and you laughed, turning back to the sink as you washed another plate.

“You’re pushing your luck with that one,” you joked back as he laughed under his breath and set the dry plate aside before taking another one from you.

Half an hour later you were sitting beside Clay on the couch watching The Lion King. Joey was perched on his lap as he stared up at the screen with his big blue eyes as if it was the coolest movie he had ever seen. You supposed it was. It’s one of your favorites, as well, so you were quite happy with the selection. 

 Of course you cried when Mufasa died, and while Clay held back his laughs, Joey reached out and took your hand in his much smaller one, and you cried a bit harder at that because how a four year old could be this sweet was beyond your comprehension. 

Popcorn was scattered around the carpet as the movie ended and the credits rolled. Joey had fallen asleep during the last few scenes, and had migrated half his body onto your lap. “God, Clay, your kid is cute,” you say quietly as you run your fingers gently through Joey’s light hair.

Clay smiled over at you, running his hand up and down his son’s back. “He gets it from his mom,” 

You lean over so your lips are close to the side of his head, your hand moving down to cover Joey’s ear. “Bullshit,” you whisper, grinning at the laugh that escapes Clay. “He’s a spitting image of his dad.”

His face flushed a bit and he had to look away, instead focusing his attention on Joey. “You’re sweet,” he said to you as he picked him up, careful not to wake him. You blushed a bit as you watched him stand up. “I’m going to go put him to bed. Are you down for another movie? Preferably one not made for four year olds? Or are you too tired?”

Rolling your eyes, you cross your arms. “The Lion King is not for four year olds,” you defend your comfort movie, getting another laugh out of Clay. “And you’re the parent here, old man. Are you sure you’re not too tired?”

Clay shook his head, tightening his hold on Joey as he walked away from the couch. “Old man, huh?”

“The oldest,” you say as he glances back at you.

“Just pick another movie,”

He headed upstairs while you browsed through his movie collection, noting that even though he is still in his twenties, he had the film taste of a dad in the eighties. 

Star Wars Episode VI, Legends of the Fall, Braveheart, The Outsiders, Uncle Buck, Ghostbusters.

Jesus Christ. 

You grab The Outsiders and sit back down on the couch, picking through the kernels in the bowl as you wait for Clay to return. 

-

“Want me to make some more?” Clay asked once he came back downstairs and entered the living room. 

You hold the bowl out to him with a sheepish smile. “Since you’re offering,”

He takes it from you and walks into the kitchen, making sure to grab you a diet coke once the bowl is full again. Clay hands you the can before sitting next to you, much closer than before, and sets the bowl on his lap. “What’d you pick?” He asked just as the long opening credits of The Outsiders appeared on the screen. 

“It’s one of my favorites,” you smile your pretty smile at him and steal a few pieces of popcorn, setting the diet coke aside. 

“Yeah?” He hummed as he gathered a couple pieces in his own hand. “Have you read the book?”

You give him an unimpressed look and answer as you chew, “Of course I’ve read the book,” 

The way you said it made it sound like that was the most obvious answer in the world, and Clay laughed as he tilted his head back to drop the popcorn into his mouth. He could feel your eyes on him the whole time, and when he looked at you and caught you staring, his smile grew at the way your face flushed. 

You were so cute, and this was beginning to feel like a date rather than two adults hanging out on a professional level. 

Would it really be so bad? Maybe it was time for Clay to forget about Sam and how she left both him and Joey and never looked back. Maybe it was time for him to move on and close that chapter of his life. Really, how bad could it be?

You look away and stare at the screen just as the drawn out credits finally wrap up, and Clay knew he should be focusing on the movie, but how could he when his mind was consumed with thoughts of you? 

Halfway through the movie, the popcorn was eaten and you had moved a bit closer to him. Your hand was inches from his thigh as you gazed at the TV, your index finger tracing random shapes on the cushion. 

Clay could not focus on anything other than the fact that he wanted to take your hand in his and how he wanted to be holding you right now. 

God, was he always like this? Was he always this desperate for affection and touch? Had he really gone that long without it? 

He felt a bit pathetic as he tore his eyes off your hand and tried to pay attention to the movie. Sitting through The Lion King was a lot easier as he had Joey there to break the tension, but now that Clay is alone with you, he felt a bit on edge. 

He was so close to you, he could smell your sweet perfume and hear every breath you took. 

Maybe he was imagining it, but Clay was sure you were slowly moving even closer to him. The amount of will-power he had to use to not take you into his arms in that second was insane. Maybe he is stronger than he thought. 

As casually as he could, Clay lifted his arm and draped it across the back of the couch, and he knew he wasn’t imagining the small smile that formed on your lips as he did so. 

His attention was completely off the movie at this point, and it seemed like yours was slipping away from it as well as you boldly inched even closer to him until your back was pressed against his side, and your arm was draped over his lap. He laughed as he asked, “Are you comfortable?”

He knew you were smiling as you said, “Very,”

And you stayed like that for the rest of the movie. The back of your head was resting against his chest as the end credits began rolling and now he was wishing that the movie went on for a bit longer so he could sit with you like this for a few more minutes. 

He could smell the coconut scented conditioner you used and he knew he could easily become addicted to it, like he was beginning to become addicted to your vanilla perfume. 

A few seconds pass before you sit up but stay close to him, and when you turned your head and looked up at him, he didn’t move away. He didn’t give you the wrong idea like he did last time. He wouldn’t.

Your eyes stay fixated on his as you lean in a bit, and Clay was powerless to stop his hand from moving to gently caress the side of your head. “I’m not the only one feeling this,” he murmured. “Please, tell me I’m not the only one feeling this.”

This should feel wrong. You were just here to look after his kid, not satisfy his need for affection and his desire to be wanted.

But as you shook your head and gave him a small, barely-there smile, he didn’t care about anything else. 

It didn’t feel wrong at all, so why should he put a stop to it?

“You’re not,” you say back, just as quietly, reaching up and placing a gentle but firm hand on the side of his neck. “I feel it, too.”

Clay’s breath hitched in his throat as you brushed your nose against his, your lips not quite touching yet but still making his head spin just a bit. 

“Since the first day,” you added and the amount of happiness that filled him was too much to describe. He hadn’t been imagining all of this, the spark he felt was there for you, too. All the times he caught himself feeling guilty for pining over you weren’t in vain. 

“We shouldn’t,” he regretfully said, giving you an out. He was the older one out of the two of you, and the last thing he wanted was for you to feel pressured into doing or saying anything you didn’t really want to. 

A smile formed on your lips. “We really shouldn’t,” you agreed before you were both closing the distance and connecting your lips. 

It was a light pressure at first, with both you and Clay testing each other and seeing if you had crossed a line. When he moved closer to you and kissed you a bit harder, you didn’t stop him and instead returned the kiss with a sense of need he had never felt before, not even with his own wife. 

It didn’t feel rushed with you. Didn’t feel forced. 

After pressing another chaste kiss to his lips, you pull away. Slowly, your eyes open and meet his own, and you both wear matching, dumb grins. “Sorry,” Clay whispered and you shook your head.

“Sorry,” you repeated as you stood up. “It’s late, I should go to bed.”

He nodded, sitting up and taking your hand in his. You share a knowing look as his thumb traces various shapes onto the back of your hand, and he knew that you both wanted to do that again, but were trying to have some self control. 

With a final squeeze, he lets you go and watches as you turn and head towards the stairs, glancing back at him once before you were out of his sight. 

-

You ended up tossing and turning all night long and probably got no more than a couple hours of sleep. 

Your body was on fire and full of energy after the kiss you shared with Clay on his living room couch, and you couldn’t shut your mind off if you tried.

Since the day you talked to him on the sidewalk not too long ago, you’ve wanted him. Bad. And he all but confirmed he wanted you, too, how were you supposed to sleep after that?

The next morning you were up before the sun began to seep into the guest room. If you could even call this a guest room. It was massive, much like how Lilith’s master bedroom is, and you found yourself not wanting to return back to your small apartment once she came back home. 

You dress yourself in jeans and a tank top before leaving the room, pinning back your messy hair as you poked your head into Joey’s room. He was awake and looking up at the stickers that were stuck to the ceiling, his fingers playing with the hem of his sheets. Then he was looking over at you and smiling. “Hi, buddy,” you greet him as you enter his room. 

“Y/n,” he said back and you grinned at the fact that he was already getting better at pronouncing your name. “Where is my dad?”

His dad. Your boss. The very man you kissed last night.

You picked him up when he lifted his arms. “I think he’s still sleeping,” you answer, holding him against your side as you walk over to his dresser. “Want me to help you get ready for school?” 

He nodded and you were able to grab his shirt and pants with one hand before setting him down onto the carpet and helping him get dressed. After that you take him downstairs and sit him at the table before heading into the kitchen and looking for something for him to eat. 

When you spot the strawberries and cream, you look over at the toddler and give him a smile. “Joey, do you want some strawberries?” You asked and watched as he lit up and nodded a few times. 

You slice them up into smaller pieces and place them into a bowl before adding the cream and setting it down in front of him. Joey’s blue eyes widen before he takes the spoon from you and goes to town on the bowl.

Laughing, you make two more bowls of it, keeping an eye on Joey from your place in the kitchen. Your back was pressed against the counter as Clay walked in, and the small smirk he wore once he saw you left you feeling reassured that last night was definitely not a mistake. 

He wasn’t dressed yet, his body being covered by a sinful pair of grey sweats and a white tee. It felt so casual, so normal, to get to see him during the early hours of the morning before he changed into more presentable clothing and completely woke up.

You stay still and watch as he leans down and presses a kiss to the top of Joey’s head before he is making his way over to you. Keeping the bowl pressed to your chest, you pause your chewing when he stands a few inches away from you, his hands at his sides and a teasing glint in his eyes. “Hi,”

“Hi,” he says back, leaning in and gently bumping your nose with his own, and the simple action had your heart beating loudly in your chest. It didn’t go further than that as he pulled away but stayed close to you. “You have a good sleep?”

“Oh, the best,” you answer, swallowing after as you turn and grab the other bowl. “I made you breakfast.”

Clay looks down at the bowl before taking it from you with a boyish grin on his lips. “You made me breakfast?”

Nodding, you watch as he takes a strawberry between his teeth before promptly looking away as you feel heat rush to your face. 

God, he is hot. 

What are you doing? You should not be this turned on when you’re supposed to be getting his kid ready for school. 

Setting your bowl down, you avoid eye contact with Clay as you move around him, still feeling his gaze on you by the time you’ve made your way to Joey. “Do you need me to take Joey to school?” 

Clay leans against the counter as he eats, the open concept of both the kitchen and dining room giving him the perfect view of you and his kid. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all,” you answer, smoothing out Joey’s hair.

“Great, you can ride with Rick,” he says as he places the bowl in the sink. 

You furrow your brows, taking the spoon and bowl from Joey when he handed them to you. “How will you get to work?” You asked as you made your way back into the kitchen. 

“Would it sound too privileged to say that I have more than one driver?” He asked with a grin as he stayed still, making you have to reach around him to place the bowl in the sink.

“Yes,” you say as you stand up straight. “Extremely privileged.”

Clay laughed under his breath, crossing his arms. “I’ll take a cab,” he answered your question from before, and his words were surprising. 

“You’re gonna take a cab?” 

Clay, too, stood up straight. “Why is that so surprising to you?” He asked, smirking a bit afterwards. 

You glance back at Joey, who was distracted by the coloring book you placed on the table last night, as you step closer to Clay. “I don’t know,” you mumble, looking back at him. “I don’t know why I keep assuming you’re some stuck up rich guy who wouldn’t be caught dead in a car that isn’t one of his own. You’re different, Clay.”

His smirk turns into a soft grin as he drops his arms, his hands finding your waist as he pulls you closer to him. “Different how?”

Your face heats up a bit as you shrug, placing your hands flat on his chest. Your heartbeat was loud in your ears as you say, “You’re nice,” you pathetically answer, not being able to fight off the nervous smile that takes over your lips. 

“Nice?” He smirks again, bunching up your tank top in his hands. “That’s it?”

You shrug again, unsure of what the boundaries are at the moment. “You’re not stuck up, you’re polite, you walk me to the door every time I go to leave,”

“That’s the bare minimum,” he brushed off his own actions, reaching up to tuck your hair behind your ear. “You’re pretty.”

Blushing heavily, you break eye contact and look back at Joey. “I should get him to school,”

You go to pull away but he gently wraps his hand around your wrist, pulling you back to him. “Did I overstep with that one?”

He looked so genuine and a bit worried, further proving that he is more than just a decent guy. He is sweet and kind and can become so lost inside his own head when he thinks he messed up. He’s perfect, and that scares you. “No,” you shake your head, lacing your fingers together in hopes to reassure him. “You just….you make me feel things. Good things, I promise.”

Clay’s thumb traced random shapes onto the back of your hand before he nodded, loosening his grip on you. “Okay,” he gave your hand a final squeeze before he pulled away completely and walked over to J oey. He hugged him quickly and kissed the top of his head, glancing over at you as he headed towards the door. “See you later, pretty girl.”

Your face flushed for the tenth time since you woke up and you had to take a second to compose yourself, listening to Clay’s footsteps fade up the stairs. You clear your throat, smiling over at the four year old who was oblivious to the flirting that had just taken place in the kitchen. 

-

“Morning, Mr. Beresford,” Clay was greeted as he entered the floor that held his office. “Coffee?”

“No, thank you,” he answered, smiling at the man before walking past him and down the hall. He passed multiple offices, the walls being made of glass and not providing much privacy. That was his mothers idea, not his, and he stands by the fact that he doesn’t care to see into his employees workspaces to ensure they’re not slacking off, but she did. 

When Clay made it to his own office, these walls not being see-through, he closed the door and tossed his bag onto his desk. He stands behind it, pulling at the tie around his neck that he still wasn’t able to tie on his own. Sam always tied it for him, but now that she was gone he had to do it himself, and he did a really bang up job of it today. It looked awful, and he knew he needed to learn how to properly tie one soon. 

He looked out the window and at the city of New York, a small smile tugging at his lips. His friend, Jack, would tell him that he owned half this city, as if he wasn’t aware of that fact. For some reason Jack liked to do Clay’s bragging for him, seeing as he wasn’t one to brag much to begin with. Well, he wasn’t much of a bragger before Joey was born, now Clay proudly shows off just how amazing his kid is. 

He even bragged about him to you during your first conversation. 

The memory of that made Clay laugh as he sat down behind the desk, throwing off his tie as he reached for his phone. 

Joey’s Sitter: Just got back from dropping Joey off at school. Props to Rick for getting us there on time. You should give him a raise. 

Clay laughed again, reaching over with his free hand to turn on his computer as he typed out a reply to you. 

I’ll think about it. What are you up to now? Any plans for the day?

He sets his phone down as he enters the password for his computer. Almost instantly he was met with countless emails, the topics ranging from meetings to updates on his placement on the transplant list. 

The whole thing stressed him out, much like how it did back when he was just eighteen years old and thrown into the CEO lifestyle, and he looked back at his phone, where a text from you calmed him down a bit.

Joey’s Sitter: Not a thing planned…I was actually going to ask if I could tidy up your mansion, I mean your house. I didn’t get to clean the dishes before taking Joey to school, so I’ll start there. 

You reminded him a bit of Jack, but instead of bragging about his possessions, you teased him about it. It was a nice change, and something you had been doing since the day he met you. 

Unsurprisingly, his mind went back to Sam and how he so blindly missed all the signs she gave that showed she was just after his money. She never brought her wallet with her whenever the two of them went out, and then proceeded to fill her arms with things that Clay would end up buying for her. She claimed she forgot to bring her money, and that she appreciated his generosity, and that was that. 

She also failed to remember that she is a mother and is required to pay child support payments since she was the one to walk out, but he hasn’t seen a single cent from her since she left. Not that he’d accept anything from her, anyway.

You were so different from her. Yeah, you are six years younger than her, but you are far more mature than she ever was. 

Clay hadn’t even called her in days as he was too preoccupied sorting his life out. It was about time he did that, and he was proud of himself for not leaving her yet another pointless voicemail in almost a week.

Please, feel free, but don’t feel obligated. 

He replied to you before clicking on the first email, which was just a request for a meeting with both him and his mom. 

Joey’s Sitter: Cleaning is like therapy to me, Clay. I’m happy to do it. I noticed you’re a bit behind on laundry. Permission to do that, too?

Clay felt a bit embarrassed about that one. His mom was usually the one who is on top of the laundry, and she’s only been gone a couple days and it was already starting to pile up. 

Go for it.

He sent that then realized he will have to pay you for it. 

Oh, God, he’s supposed to be paying you right now since you’re looking after his kid. 

Fuck.

How is he supposed to pay you after kissing you last night and flirting with you this morning? You’d probably feel so cheap and used if he were to hand you the money you rightfully earned for babysitting Joey and getting him ready for school, but he couldn’t not pay you, either. He is your only source of income, as far as he knew, and he was quickly reminded of all the warnings he gave himself about pursuing something with you.

He knew he should’ve kept things professional, but he really didn’t want to. He’s held off on giving himself to someone in the way he did with Sam for too long, he was ready to get back to the dating scene. But with his son’s babysitter? That was a complicated one. 

Joey’s Sitter: I’m gonna have to go into your room to put your laundry away, is that okay?

That’s alright, just ignore the mess. Please. I’m working on it.

He typed out and sent his reply to you without thinking much of it, his overworked brain feeling like it had been sent into overdrive already. Clay had stressed himself out by thinking about you and what you and he currently are and how he should end things before they got too far, but as he looked down and read your text,

Joey’s Sitter: I won’t tell anyone that you’re just like any other twenty something year old guy who has questionable cleaning habits. Maybe. 

he suddenly didn’t care much about the quiet voice that was telling him to stop pursuing whatever it was that is between him and you. 

-

You balance the basket in your left hand as you use your right one to open Clay’s bedroom door. You knew you would feel like you were intruding had you not asked him beforehand, and his concerns about his supposedly messy room had you curious to see if it was as bad as he says it is.

It really wasn’t. 

The door swings open and the only thing that caught your attention was the fact that his bed wasn’t made. Sure, there were a few pieces of clothes strewn around the room and the drawers of his dresser were half open, but it was nowhere near as bad as you thought it’d be. 

You also found his boyish messiness attractive, and you were convinced that you would soon find everything about Clay attractive. And you weren’t even gonna mention the fact that his room smelled exactly like his cologne and how you felt a bit lightheaded as you took a step forward. 

Setting the basket on the bed, you walk over to the dresser and pull open the first drawer. Soon enough the basket was empty and as you picked it back up, you debated on whether or not you would be overstepping if you were to make his bed. 

You kissed last night and almost did again a few hours ago, so you were sure you were past that point, and you also didn’t want to keep texting him while he was at work just to ask. 

So, you put all the clothing that was around the room in the basket and quickly made his bed. On your way to the door, you pass his desk and see a picture of him and Joey in what looked like a hospital room. Joey couldn’t have been older than a few days, and Clay looked a bit younger than he did now. He was holding Joey close to his chest, his hand looking even bigger as it caressed the back of his son’s head. 

The framed picture had your heart swelling, as did the small grin Clay wore. 

How did you get this lucky to have them both in your life? Sure, it wasn’t anything long-term right now, but it didn’t matter. Joey had already stolen your heart, and Clay wasn’t very far behind. 

You look away and head towards the door, closing it quietly behind you despite you being the only person in the house. You kind of wanted to explore his room a bit more, but held off and hoped that he could give you a proper tour of it one day.

After setting the laundry basket down on top of the washing machine, you leave the room and make your way towards the guest room. The view from the window was amazing, and even better at night. You were too giddy to pay much attention to it last night, after kissing the guy you’ve been crushing hard on since the day you met him. 

You sit down on the queen sized bed, the soft, dark teal comforter inviting you to lay back. You do, your head settling against the pillow as you look off to the right and at the tall buildings that make up New York. 

You were pining over Clay, hard, and you got the smallest indication that he was feeling the same last night. But you have no idea if he is serious about you. Maybe he just thinks you’re an easy lay. God, that would probably crush you if he thinks that. 

Even though you were nearing the young age of twenty one, you quickly found yourself loving the domestic lifestyle most people don’t get to experience until their late twenties or early thirties. 

Really, you shouldn’t want to become a mother at your age, not when you haven’t even figured out what you want to do with your life, but getting the chance to see both Joey and Clay every single day felt like a dream. You wanted it, you wanted Clay to be serious about you, and you wanted Joey to feel safe and comfortable around you all the time. 

Had you told yourself back when you first moved to New York that you would be wishing you were part of this small family, you would’ve laughed. You didn’t even have a good relationship with your own family, hence why you’re living by yourself in a massive city, so you didn’t have much experience with a normal-functioning family like the Beresfords. 

Well, maybe they weren’t normal; they have loads of money, high paying jobs, and you were sure they owned multiple buildings and properties in the area. Still, Clay treated you like just another person. He wasn’t the typical stuck up rich guy who looks down on others just because he is wealthy, and that alone had you falling for him on the first day you met him.

Would he ever see you in that way? Could he? 

You turn over and hold a spare pillow to your chest, wondering what was going to come from this as you waited for the hours to pass until you had to go get Joey. 

You woke up to the sound of your phone going off a few hours later, and you smiled when you saw who had texted you. 

Clay Beresford: Won’t be home until later tonight. I’ll have my phone on me the whole time so if you need something, just call.

You sit up, tossing the pillow aside as you rub your eyes with your free hand, using your other to text him back.

No worries. Have a good night, Mr. Businessman. 

Sometimes you worried that you were being too forward with him, but he never seemed to mind it, which is why you keep doing it. It felt normal to tease each other back and forth over text, and now that you were progressing to teasing each other in real life, it only added fuel to the fire building within you. 

You got up from the bed after realizing that it was nearing three in the afternoon and you had to leave to pick up Joey. Well, Rick is picking up Joey, you’re just there for the ride until you return back to Clay’s home. 

When you do arrive back home, you give Joey a piggyback ride up the stairs and sit down on the couch with him. He crawls onto your lap as you set his schoolbag down and rummage through the new sheets that were in it. 

You pull out a piece of paper that had today’s date written on it and your eyes widen a bit at the scene on it. In the middle of the page was a small figure that had ‘ME’ written above it in messy writing, and to the left of that figure was a bigger one, this one being labeled ‘DADDY’. It was obviously a drawing of Clay and Joey that he had done today at school, but what was a bit surprising was the third figure.

On Joey’s right side was another person with your hair color and something that resembled the outfit you wore yesterday, which was a simple black tee and jeans. Above it was the word ‘SITTER’. You bite down harshly on your lip before asking, “Joey, did you draw this today?”

You knew the answer, but wanted to hear him say it anyway. “Yeah,” he confirmed what you already knew. “It’s me, daddy and you. See.” He pointed to each figure and you realized that both you and Clay are holding Joey’s hands. 

Your eyes burned a bit as you wrapped your arms around him from behind. “You’re sweet,” you tell him what you’ve been calling him since the first day you babysat him. “You’re so sweet, buddy. I love it.” You take the drawing from him and further inspect it. He even got your eye color right, and that had you blinking quickly as you set him aside on the cushion before standing up. 

Joey looked up at you, his big blue eyes a copy of his dad’s. “I’m hungry,”

You laugh, ruffling his hair a bit. “Okay, we can have an early dinner tonight. Daddy won’t be home until later,” you say as you begin to walk towards the doorway. Once you are in the kitchen, you immediately put the drawing on the fridge after looking at it for a good two minutes. 

Joey wasn’t aware of just how fucking cute he is, you’re sure of it. And seeing yourself, although in a drawing, with the two of them had your mind mixed up in a frenzy. 

You wanted this everyday, you wanted both of them. 

And, when Clay returns home later, you weren’t sure if you would be able to keep your hands off him. 

-

Clay shuts the door behind him before practically bolting up the stairs, his bag slipping from his shoulder and landing on the floor once he reached the top. 

He wasn’t sure why, but he missed Joey a lot today, and he also found himself missing you. He had gotten a taste of you last night and now he is beginning to think he will never get enough. 

He also wanted to talk to you about it and get an idea of where you’re at and what you’re thinking about in relation to what you and he did last night, but he wasn’t sure how to bring it up. 

Bringing his left hand up, Clay reads the time on his watch and sees that it’s nearing Joey’s bedtime. As if on cue, you walk out of the living room with a half asleep Joey in your arms and an unreadable expression on your face. “Hey,” he says, his mood lifting considerably at the sight of the two of you. 

“Hi,” you say back, pausing in the doorway. “We were just heading to bed. Did you want to take it from here?”

Joey lifted his head from your shoulder and smiled at Clay, and his heart melted at the sight. “Okay,” he agreed and took his son from you, stopping just in front of the second staircase. “I’ll meet you in the living room?”

You just nod and enter the room again, leaving Clay to hurry up the stairs. After tucking Joey in, he gives him a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room and shutting the door quietly behind him. 

He takes the stairs two at a time on the way down and shrugs off his jacket, leaving him in just his white button up and dress pants. He never bothered putting his tie back on after taking it off as soon as he got to his office. 

Once he entered the living room and saw you waiting patiently for him on the couch, Clay made it over to you in three strides. He sat next to you, his hands aching to reach out and touch you in any way you’d allow as he stared at your pretty eyes. “We should talk about-” but he wasn’t able to finish that sentence as you leaned in and placed your hands on his shoulders, your mouths meeting in a firm kiss. 

And just like that, any and all thoughts left Clay’s head as his hands reached up and caressed either side of your face. His lips meshed against yours like they did last night, but with a lot more urgency. 

Your hands were a bit frantic as they gripped his shirt before pushing against his chest. Clay moved to lie back on the couch as you climbed on top of him, your fingers tangling in his hair once you were straddling his waist. “Is this okay?” You asked breathlessly, your eyes revealing your genuine concern, and he knew you were asking if his heart could take this much excitement at once. 

You were far too nice and your carefulness was something that was lacking in his last relationship. He never felt this cared for before from someone other than his mother, and he was kissing you again before he knew it. 

“It’s okay, I’m okay,” he answered when he felt that you weren’t kissing him back, and when you smiled at his words, you gently traced your thumb along his jaw before kissing him again. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” you say in between kisses, but show no signs of stopping. And he really didn’t want you to. 

His hands grip your waist tightly and pull your body right against his own. “We shouldn’t,” he agreed and you pulled away with a big grin on your face that he was sure matched his own. 

You blush a bit and he notes that he’s quite good at getting you to do that without really trying to. “I’m really glad we agree on that,” you mumble before giving him a final chaste kiss. His hands slide down your jean covered thighs as you sit up and bunch up his shirt in your fingers. “Can we have another movie night?” 

Clay nods instantly, and he was sure he would say yes to anything you asked him right now. He felt like he was on cloud nine, with the prettiest woman he had ever seen sitting on top of him like he was your throne. You had kissed him again. You wanted this as much as he did. 

You smile at him before getting up and walking towards his DVD collection. “What do you want to watch?”

“I don’t care,” and he really didn’t. He wasn’t paying much attention to the movie you put in the DVD player as he opened his arms and gestured for you to lay with him.

You do so with a blush coating your face, pressing your back to his chest as you settle against him. Clay wraps his arms around you and laces your fingers together as he tries to calm his racing heart. 

He couldn’t believe you had this much of an affect on him, but here you are, tucked protectively in his arms as you stared up at the screen. 

Clay couldn’t remember the last time he felt this content, this carefree. All the stress he had felt throughout the day and all the questions he had planned on asking you were dissolving by the second, and before he knew it, he had fallen asleep. 

It was clear that you did, too, because the next time Clay opened his eyes, he was staring at the menu screen of the movie before his gaze drifted further to the right, where he meets the cold stare of his mother, who did not look pleased to see you and him wrapped up in each other’s arms at all.

[alessioa]

hey, do you think you could write another Georgia stanway one where Georgia wakes up with really bad pain in her stomach and she’s goes to hospital etc and it turns out to be appendicitis and needs surgery? Again sorry if it’s odd, hope you can write it, don’t feel you have to though x

Appendicitis

Georgia Stanway x Reader

Hello, I know it's been a while. But I am back. Thank you for the request and whoever sent this I hope you will read it as it was sent quite a while ago. Sorry about that :(

It has been a while since I last wrote so I may be a little rusty but I've done my best and I hope you will enjoy

Masterlist

TW: Vomiting, talk of surgery, appendicitis, hospital

Sun was just shining through the window in their bedroom. The golden rays warming their naked skin. You began to stir as the light disturbed your sleep. You reached out to the space on the bed next to you. It was cold, meaning that your girlfriend had not been in bed for quite a while.

Groggily you began to move, sitting up. Your moves were sluggish, body still laced with tiredness from just waking up. Looking around the room you could not find her, but you could see the light coming from the slit in the door.

So you put your feet on the cool floor. A vast difference to your warm skin. Shuffling across the floor towards the bathroom you could hear someone throwing up.

“Georgia, love, you alright?” you asked before you reached the door. Once you were there you pushed open the door. The sight of your girlfriend hunched over the toilet bowl throwing up shocked you.

She was still in her pajamas. Her hair hanging dangerously close to her face. So you rushed to sit next to her. Kneeling so you would be on the same lever as her. Georgia hadn’t acknowledged your presence yet.

But as she moved forward towards the toilet to throw up once again you grabbed her hair, pulling it out of the way to make sure she didn’t dirty it. She was clearly sobbing. Tear stains were present on her cheeks and her eyes were bloodshot.

“How are you, love?” You asked once again when she finally stopped pouring her guts out. Georgia turned to face you. She looked pained and you got worried. You had never seen her this bad, even after the injures she had picked up on the football pitch.

“Not good” Georgia sobbed and curled up against you, hands clutching her abdomen. “It hurts” she continued. It was as if she was having a hard time talking. You put your hand on her forehead to feel her temperature as she was sweating even though the bathroom was colder than it usually was. She was burning up.

“You know that I’ve told you to wake me up if somethings wrong? Right love?”

“I didn’t want to bother you at first. And now it hurts too much to get up.” she whispered. Scared that you would be angry. Of course you weren’t, just worried that you had found her in such a bad state.

“Love what hurts.” You were worried and wanted to figure out what was wrong, being a doctor symptoms like this could be signs that something was not as it should be. Very high temperatures and vomiting were never good.

“My stomach” it came out as a whimper. That did certainly not help your worry. You pried her arms off you.

“Where baby? Where does it hurt, can you show me?” Now you definitely needed to know as your first thoughts was something like appendicitis or alike.

She didn’t answer in words. Instead she just pointed to her lower right side of her abdomen. Your mind raced. This was not good, not at all. All of her symptoms were ones consistent with appendicitis.

“Fuck, that’s not good. We have to get into the hospital.” You said. Rushing to get Georgia some better clothes suited for the cold weather outside. You pulled out a sweater and a pair of tracksuit bottoms. You helped her put them on before collecting the car keys and helping her out the door.

It was hard with her being in so much pain but she had to get in to the closest hospital, which also happened to be the one you worked at. So while staring the car you also pulled out your phone to call some of your colleagues who you knew were working. They knew you didn’t call if it wasn’t important. So when you called it only took a few signals before they picked up.

“Hey Dori, I know it’s not the ideal situation now. You know Georgia? Well she is presenting symptoms of appendicitis. Could you maybe set up a room and get everything ready for us? We will be there in about 3 minutes.” Once you got everything confirmed and ready for you, you said your goodbyes and hung up.

When you got to the hospital you brought Georgia in through the ER and just as you had hoped for, they were ready to take her in. A bed was there for her to get onto. So you helped her onto it. She had been very quiet since you found her in the bathroom.

You had never seen Georgia so lost. Looking into her eyes it was clear that she was disassociating to try and ease the pain she was feeling. So you grabbed her hand. She tilted her head and looked at you.

“Hey, you will be fine. It will all be over soon. They will have to take you into a room, and you may need surgery” you explained. But once you saw her terrified look you squeezed her hand even harder. “I will be here when you wake up if you do need surgery. I promise, my love.” You continued. She relaxed a bit at your assurance.

“I love you”

“I love you too, Georgia. Now they are going to take you to a room, You know Dori. Right?” You asked and motioned to the nurse stood next to Georgia. Ready to wheel her away. “She will take good care of you. I trust her. She’s great and you are in great hands.” You smiled.

Your moment was broken by Dori telling you that they needed to get her into a room. So you squeezed her hand once more before they began to wheel her bed away. You smiled at her until she was out of view.

That was when you broke out sobbing. You had put up your doctor facade because you had to be brave for your girlfriend. But now that she couldn’t see you anymore you couldn’t keep it up anymore. It was quite a chock to your colleagues working around the room. Usually you were a well composed person, never one to be known for breaking down. Not even after a especially hard loss or alike.

But now your girlfriends life may be in danger, the one person you loved was sick and you could not take it. But your colleagues decided not to let you sit on the floor of the ER sobbing so one of them helped you out and into an office where someone put a cup of bad coffee in front of you.

You picked the coffee up and slowly sipped on it. Trying to come back to reality.

“Georgia will be fine. Just as you said, she is in great hands. They confirmed that it was appendicitis and she is being prepped for surgery now.” Your colleague explained. You knew that your girlfriend would be fine, with experienced surgeons doing the surgery and that it was quite a low risk one.

“You can see her once she’s out of surgery and waking up. But for now just try to calm down. Georgia will be fine.” They continued on talking to you as you did not answer them.