#and people love that?? Because shes “girlboss”?

[jitteryfool]

I’m tired of overpowered, hyper-intelligent girlbosses, give me flawed female characters who keep making all the wrong decisions, who are prone to dumb mistakes and are still shrewd enough to survive.

Pathetic little meow meows if you so will

[blueflyingturtleontheway]

I just watched Aladdin for the first time in years and my goodness I forgot how great this movie was

[btteredtoast]

woe, batman rogue oc be upon ye

[welcometogrouchland]

Was thinking abt the web's sentience in tma, it's relationship to its avatars and how it's pretty ambiguous what "the web manipulated X thing" could mean- does it mean Annabelle did it as an agent of the Web? Did the web control people surrounding X to carry out favourable actions? Did the Web simply incorporate X into it's master plan in retrospect after realising X would further the web's goals?

And I could make meta about that but that's nerd shit and instead I started thinking how, if the web weren't any more sentient than the other entities, the funniest possible route for its followers to take would be a BUNCH of web avatars manipulating things to further the web's goals...except (like all avatars) they're just interpreting what the web wants based on their own projections and they can't fucking agree on what the web wants or how to get it and are all carrying out their own disparite machinations and then complaining when someone counter manipulates their manipulation .

I think they all have like. A Facebook group or a forum. Annabelle's the moderator

[telemna-hyelle]

WAIT WAIT WAIT

they went and made Galadriel, a women how her power comes from her grace, words, femininity, commanding presence. (And I’m not saying she can’t fight cuz she can) but the thing is she doesn’t need a sword to be respected and powerful.

A huge part of her power is that everyone adores her and respects her, everything about her makes you want to respect and listen to her. She is wise and so much more.

But then they go and slap armor and a sword on her and call her a girl boss?!?

*pats back* There there, let it out, I know exactly how you feel.

[palanaeum]

God it makes me so mad how Holmes adaptations have treated Irene Norton/Adler. She is NOT in love with holmes (she literally gets married to the man she is in love with in the middle of the story) she never showed any interest in him and she beats him in the end. She's the main character of her own story and holmes is just some dude she outwits. He's literally just some random guy

[friendamedes]

i would like your missy thoughts

i haven’t spent too long putting it into neat words so it’s very rambley, and also unedited i’m very sorry about that, but it basically boils down to a) missy doesn’t know who she is and b) missy benefits from people assuming she is one way or another even if it’s not true

an earlier character analysis post of mine is linked in the body of this, but if you don’t want to go looking or want to start off with that, here it is (about the vault).

a) i don’t think missy knows who she is

missy’s creation (regeneration) & death are cyclical—her death caused her life, and by the time of her death she’s changed a TON. so i do think that from the moment she starts to exist she has no idea who she is. (she probably struggles with a lot of self-hatred due to the circumstances of her last death, even if she doesn’t exactly remember the details!!!!)

missy changes her name! from the get-go it’s established that she has a shaky, uneven sense of self. she is no longer The Master, even if she’s still the same person. she’s someone similar, but not exactly the same. her first introduction establishes that she doesn’t even have her own voice. In Deep Breath, she says, “... I do like his new accent, though,” to the half-face man. “Think I might keep it.”

i don’t think she entirely failed in her cyberman plot, because i don’t think she’s entirely upfront and honest with why she puts it into motion. she wants the doctor’s companionship (missy is a desperately lonely character), and she wants to re-establish who she is (by doing something capital E Evil). 

(and she’s struggling with her identity in s10 even more. if she isn’t The Master anymore, who is she? if she doesn’t have basic, surface-level character traits, what’s left? what does she have to confront that she’s been lying to herself about? with everyone else, she lets herself wear the mask they think is her face, but the doctor never thought that, and left alone with him, she has to find out what she really looks like. and i think that scares her a lot, even if she’d never admit it). 

b) she lets you think that she is who you think she should be

missy is fully aware that she comes off as flighty, unpredictable, pretty—she knows that you’ll underestimate her and read her at a surface level, at least at first, and she relies on it. missy lies to you. taking from her original introduction and her character throughout s8/s9 and deciding that she’s cheerful or happy all the time is a mistake.

(this is the issue i have with big finish’s missy audios, honestly! they’re very fun but they don’t lend her any depth of character or let her have moments of quiet/character development. she is capable of good and being multifaceted on her own. she does not need the doctor, even if she would prefer his company.)

she’s incredibly repressed and sad! in s10 Eaters of Light, she asks the doctor, “I don't even know why I'm crying. Why? Why do I keep doing that now?” missy isn’t even used to crying! she’s not used to expressing her emotions at all, let alone in a healthy way that doesn’t include murder or burning things down.

(like i mentioned in this post, which i’d mentioned earlier that i’d link, missy has the CAPACITY to do good before s10, she just doesn’t do it often. and yes, her definition of doing good differs from the doctor’s, and the show usually puts the doctor’s definition as The Definition Of Goodness, which is neither here nor there—but she helps people, because she cares about their survival. maybe she doesn’t do it often because it goes against her established identity, and she doesn’t know what to do without that. maybe she doesn’t do it because it’s boring, or she thinks it’s a waste of time. probably a combination of those and other reasons!)

anyway. i don’t really know how to wrap this up—but i do want to leave you with the thought of davies’s doctors, and how lonely they are, how desperate they are for another time lord or companion. how it’s acceptable for ten to be frustrated that he’s always the smartest person in the room, the last of his kind, and the solace they find in their human companions. and i just want to remind you that missy doesn’t let herself trust humans, doesn’t see them as worth her time. (perhaps sees befriending them as inappropriate or dirty, even, considering her comments in World Enough And Time!) and i kind of wanted to ask: why is it okay for a character played by a man to want companionship that is Enough, but when a woman wants that it’s boring or it makes her weaker?

[distraughtlesbian]

god the way this is going morgan’s 100% gonna have a “ive been fighting my faaaaaamily :’(“ moment and it’s like honey they left you as a newborn in the woods to die because you were blind and they treat women like cattle good only for popping out babies you’re not one of them!!! you were right all along babe!!!!

[enbies-and-felonies]

wow, thinking about how getting my hair cut at a barber would destroy society <3

[dirt-str1der]

Give me 2bs complicated relationship I am starved for content pleas ekm begging y uoi..

BUUDJDJCJ YEAH ..... come off anon im screaming and crying lemon demon voice take off your glasses let me see your eyes

Anyway the first thing you need to know about my 2b is that hes aro second thing is that hes very susceptible to forming relationships with people regardless because hes a helper at heart and everybody latches onto him because theres just ... so little kindness in nevada youll take it even if it comes in the form of a blunt needle and a pair of unimpressed eyes. The third thing you need to know about him is that he synthesises meth in the basement but thats not important.

Anyway before doc worked with hank he worked for the auditor, and before he worked for the auditor he worked for nexus and before that he worked odd jobs around town after taking the transphobic family L and running away from home like a hashtag boyboss (im not glorifying running away from home its just that i genuinely think he would just be like you know what ? Im packing my bags and telling the next random town i come across that im a doctor and they just have to believe me. He was a VERY happy man when the world ended and he could roam the country completely anonymous after the subsequent data wipe). This means that 2b is in the unique position of knowing literally everybody in nevada, even if they dont know... ‘him’. Between the fake names and the baffling chat handle most people settle on calling him doc because thats what they hear other people calling him.

With THAT out of the way, 2BDamned is Very Reliable. You need spare parts ? Doc’ll provide ! You need to get Rid of spare parts ? Sure i know a guy. You got eviscerated ? No problem. Your car exploded ? Got food poisoning ? Alone on a friday night ? Fucking died ? Hes got you covered. He doesnt do it for free though and if you cant pay up ..... well ill put a favour on your tab. I bet the nevadean economy slowed to a veritable crawl for the two months 2b got put out of commission by the auditor (his streak of good luck ended when she found out he was offering his ‘Other Place’ services to people outside the AAHW , what are you ? Some kind of cheap whore ? Im going to tear your face off. Then she was like huh, i wonder why my operations all suddenly suck , guess killing that guy was a bad idea..... i miss him -_-)

Not to worry... hes not dead but he is coming back to bite you in the ass lucky you auditor. Hank found 2b while he was still recovering and was like heyyy youre the guy who helped bring me to life by evanessence when i died doing stupid shit :) i see you have a vendetta aganst the aahw, wanna live together ? And 2b was like .... you know what ? Yeah. And they kinda ... picked a place and settled down. Like imagine two fiercely independent people carving out spaces for each other in their schedules just because they work well together .... thats amore. Like sure hank can live on their own and 2BDamned certainly can handle himself but why resort to that when you can have this instead ? Imagine that; finally resting easy when you know you have someone unequivocally in your corner...

Im a 2bhank advocate because i think doc doesnt actually realise he likes people so he thinks himself antisocial. Hank is actually antisocial but Knows that 2b needs to Hang Out sometimes so they spend as much time as possible with 2b even when hes working and hes like get out -_- and hank is like O_O and 2b is like ... OK stay. Whatever and refuses to admit that this is actually kind of nice. Quality time legend. 2b on the other hand is an acts of service king and shows love by taking care of hank however and he will absolutely haul ass to get to them if theyre in trouble to bail them out of it. The two of them are qpps and are totally whipped for each other but 2b is still like "hank is just a colleague". Theres nobody they trust more in the world than each other, theyve really been though a lot together. Fellas is it gay to reach through spacetime , absolutely shattering the insurmountable wall between life and death in order to drag your homie back to the world of the living ? The answer (yes) may shock you

Now 2b and JEB... oh boy! They knew each other from nexus and jeb genuinely thought he was dead until he blinked awake on an operating table with a familiar face staring back at him. "Welcome back, Jebediah." He hears an even more familiar voice say and jeb blearily mumbles,"Doc?" Turns out he was killed. Double turns out that his old coworker has been conducting all manners of unethical experimentation , not only that but he is the reason why Hank Jmotherfucker Wimbleton has been continually allowed to run free. Jeb is understandably furious. "Do you realise what you've done?" He immediately starts to argue. Doc raises a brow at him,"Do you?"

2b quickly understands that he and jeb are never going to see eye to eye, but hmm he has the potential to be a useful ally and though he is a bit of a bitch, he can trust jeb not to sell him out to the auditor. I like to think that after a particularly passionate night , jeb (hes high) asks 2b if theyre friends and 2b (also high) laughs right in his face. Jeb doesn't laugh along. This sobers the two of them up very quickly and 2b excuses himself in an unsubtle manner. They still see each other sometimes, jeb bleakly trying to pretend hes not at least a little bit in love with doc and 2b strategically sidestepping the issue because he really doesnt want to deal with this. "Dirt, why is this so dramatic?" Youre asking. Because jeb makes everything harder than it has to be and honestly ? He brought this upon himself.

Sorry i dont have much for 2b and sanford and deimos , truth be told i do not ship it because i genuinely think the team dynamic would be way funnier with 2b(53) acting as a pseudo father figure to sanford(32) and unofficial mentor to both him and deimos(27). Also i like to think 2b was friends with sanfords mom (I call her betty but her full name is beatrice solely because i want doc to be the only person in the world to call her that) which is how they met also its cool to meet an older trans person when youre a kid , san definitely has starry eyes for 2b. I like to think that sanford was trained by him to be a field medic so he usually falls into that role when on the job. I also think sanford is hopeless at tech and i say this a lot but 2b was kind of excited to have another tech junkie on the squad (san is terrified of computers , and hank sees computers as a bludgeoning weapon) , until he found out that he and deimos line up to be perfectly incompatible. Its fine though deimos is still a valuable member of the squad and they play among us together.

I DO however think that 2b has some respect for deimos because his tech work is genuinely so incomprehensible sometimes 2b is like wow this looks like dogshit , how is it working so efficiently ? And deimos is like truth be told ? I got no fucking clue <3 They do bully each other quite a bit though i think , sanford is the only person holding the fucking team together hank would have put deimos in a wheelchair within the first month if sanford wasnt there to mitigate but i think hank and dei should still wrestle sometimes just to pass the time. If you want a proper polycombat thing on this just ask me again <3

2b and the auditor have mad history together but it all cumulates to them right now playing league of legends with each other online because theyre the only players worth each others salt. I frequently put them together in tags and it always looks like this

Wait this one too because its funny

I like to think that she didnt know it was 2b who'd been cyberbullying her until she caught him in person and immediately recognised him and was like Oh ^_^ this is a pleasant surprise. Im going to take you home and make you cry your pancreas out of your tearducts, boy. And he was like ^_^;; at least take me to dinner first. I hate AudiB so much they live in my head rent free and dont even pay me reparations for the emotional damage theyve caused me. He continually baits her and runs circles around her with his mad strats but when it comes down to a fistfist shes going to feed him his own fucking hands and he knows it

Anyway that was far too long and im sorry if you read all of it KJSDFSDUKH THIS ISNT EVEN GOING INTO THE MAIN TAGS its too controversial yelps

[your--isgayrights]

do people in the orv fandom like without scenario soulmate aus

[orjustori]

S4E8 was... an episode. the rythm felt weird. taylor's back, apparently (good for her). i loved the scene with buck and chris. but the entirety of it was... off. somehow. i can't explain why, but it was.

[emi1y]

as my most tumblr-opposed opinion yet, i watched jennifers body for the first time yesterday and it wasn't even good.

[miredball]

now why would they put el through the gutter like that

[negocialey]

not to be controversial but very brave, but s*rquel only works if you acknowledge that they are both manics, and literally nobody in the world gets them but each other. 

[technoturian]

Ranking Magical Mentors

(a completely incomplete and objectively biased analysis, don’t @ me)

Shazam (Shazam!) Score: -~.5/10

Shazam gets -1 point for every year he spent looking for a hero who will receive phenomenal cosmic powers while not having "fully matured brain" as one of the hard requirements of the job. The exact number of years isn't specified; he said he'd been looking for "centuries" but is in fact from Ancient Egypt or before then, so being bad at math subtracts another .5 from his score.

Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter Series) Score: 0/10

Written by a transphobe, fell in love with a nazi, gave a kid to abusive relatives, categorizes some children as evil and then punishes them for it. No points to Dumbledore.

The Ancient One (Doctor Strange) Score: 1/10

Whitewashing and Orientalism disguised as feminist, post-racial open-mindedness. You can’t just throw a bald Tilda Swinton at the problem and expect it to do the work for you.

Glinda the Good Witch (The Wizard of Oz) Score: 2/10

Glinda purposely manipulates an ignorant farm girl and sends her on a path to kill the Wicked Witch of the West even though Dorothy had the tools to get home the entire time. So -5 for being a terrible mentor but +5 for being a girlboss. Depending on what source material you consider canon she is possibly working out some blended family trauma, possibly a figment of Dorothy's psyche? She ends up at a 2/10 for being incredibly patronizing and giving off church lady energy by not only unironically deigning herself "Good" but also making that a huge part of her identity.

Brom (Eragon) Score: 3/10

This was definitely a guy who existed and was in a movie I've seen. Not actually magic?

Gaius (Merlin) Score: 5/10

The magical mentor of the original magical mentor himself. Set up to be wise but in hindsight gave Merlin a lot of very bad advice, chiefly in not advising him to tell Arthur the truth a long, long time ago. Best “sweet old man” vibes on this list though.

Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander (Legend of the Seeker) Score: 7/10

Zed is a wise old wizard who actually survived his protege's call to action, but he was also constantly being written out of fights to counterbalance that. Negative points for reducing the found family aspect of being a magical mentor by, y'know, actually being related to his charge. Gains points again for constantly hyping every new type of magic as "P O W E R F U L  M A G I C" and because Bruce Spence’s scenery chewing and Sam Raimi's sense of humor are a match made in cheesy TV heaven. When magic turned him young again he looked a bit like James Spader, but I’m not sure how to score that.

Dishonorable Mention: Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander (Sword of Truth Series) Score: -10/10

I haven't read it, but I've heard this book series described as "Ayn Rand high fantasy". The true Randian ideal is pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and having a magical mentor at all sounds too much like filthy communism to me. Why can’t you teach yourself magic, Richard?

Obi-Wan Kenobi (Star Wars) Score: 9/10

He may be from sci-fi but he's a classic magical mentor. He loses some of the mystique he presented in the original trilogy by having his entire background gone over with a fine tooth comb in prequels, expanded universe novels and television. Dramatic b*tch and a bit of a troll, especially as a ghost. Dinging him one point for lack of prerequisite wisdom with regard to some of his life choices.

Moiraine Damodred (Wheel of Time) Score: 10/10

A perfect score for absolute perfection. She's not dead (yet? no book spoilers!) so that puts her ahead of a lot of people on this list, she is also the only magical mentor with enough foresight to invest in a bodyguard. Great judge of character and knowledgeable about a lot of things while still being much younger than your average magic mentor, which highlights her hustle and work ethic. Moiraine takes on multiple possible Chosen Ones at once, proving herself the modern solution to magical mentorship (as well as a perfect representation of the overloaded modern worker being forced to do multiple jobs at once).

Gandalf (The Lord of the Rings Series) Score: 100/10

Gandalf is wise, powerful, frustratingly vague, disappears at inopportune times so the hero has to solve his own problems... This guy has it all going for him, including some of the best lines in the series. Died at the appropriate moment to drive the hero's journey and then walked it off. Somehow manages to seem cool and virtuous even though he's a senior citizen who hangs around small "innocents" while smoking copious amounts of weed and setting off fireworks. Looked better in gray, but what can you do. A true icon.

Granny Weatherwax (The Discworld Series) Score: ↑/~

Granny doesn't hold with all of this numbers and ranks business. She can't be having that kind of thing. However if you must know, she is definitely up there near the top. Has been the magical mentor of at least four young witches and hasn't been murdered yet. Excellent references.